Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Johnny Cache 03-23-05, 12:01 AM	What's the most screwy thing your gaming group ever did? I'm talking about things like this... ------------------------------- Our party had a problem with some odd iron constructs. They were magic-immune, had DR10/adamantine, and their arms ended in dire flails which did more than enough damage to make attacking HTH an option. Consulting the temples, we finally got the cryptic advice that "the six must be forced together". :confused: OOOh-kay... After some discussion, we came up with a plan to do just that. First we hired some dwarves to dig us a nice big conical pit. That part went well, though there were a few white-hair moments when we heard that our hirlings were trying out a new gnomish invention: "dino-might" or something like that... :twitch: Then came the problem of getting the things into the pit. Fortuenately, we had an irresistable lure: the constructs apparently needed fresh blood as fuel, and only one of them had a built-in device to drain blood and "feed" it to the others. The others had to protect that one at all costs. All we had to do was snatch that one, and the others would charge to its rescue. "Snatch" a thousand-plus pound iron golem, you say? Yep, that's just what we did. Most of the party distracted the constructs and got them to split up to lumber after them (by shouting things like "Ah, yer mother was a rusty anvil!" and mooning the things - sometimes our group has NO dignity :rolleyes: ). When they were spread out enough, our wizard cast Fly on our paladin, who swooped in low and grabbed the blood-sucker construct as low down as possible. Since our paladin is a troll, this was a medium load for her. A couple of good rolls later, and she's off towards the pit, with the blood-sucker held by the ankles, dangling below her. So far, so good. :cool: But then the :censored: thing, discovering that its flails can't reach its kidnapper, starts to spin them both in the same direction. This causes the rest of it, and the paladin, to spin in the opposite direction. The tops of several trees were destroyed as a giant flying weed-eater bumbled through the forest... :blush: Then the dragon came charging to the rescue. (Our party leader has a young bronze as a follower, which is another story entirely.) His first attempt got him knocked halfway back to town, but on the second try, he got a good, solid grip on the paladin's... behind. :mymy: With his extra weight and his wings, he managed to slow the spin enough that our troll (who was a bit greener than usual) was able to find the pit and hover more-or-less over it. Of course the other constructs didn't cooperate: they arranged themselves around the edge of the pit and waited for us to make a mistake. They forgot that, while they were immune to magic, the ground beneath their feet wasn't: a few spells later (our cleric quipped that this was the first time she deliberately hit the ground with Searing Light) and most of them went clanging down into the pit. Our party leader bull-rushed one straggler in, the paladin dropped the blood-sucker on top of the other five, and with a few impressive special effects, the problem was solved. Except for the gate to the Abyss that formed, but that's another story... Oh, yeah - it took awhile, but the dragon and the paladin were eventually able to stop spinning. :crazy:
Parrex 11-17-05, 01:14 PM	I cast raise dead you have 1 hit point :bump: 002: Well after a particularly easy battle in some tainted silver mines, my party came back to town to thunderous applause as we had rescued the whole place from a sort of plague. Once in town, the all male party was approached by some barmaids with huge tracts of land, but my character being highly suspicious (trait) I couldn't get to bed until I had sold the four-hundred pounds of (now untainted) silver we'd salvaged, I do so buy some equipment, come back to the tavern and find the barbarian had convinced two barmaids to keep him company, so I go to bed without dessert in my chain shirt armor, since I won't wake up fatigued. Dawn comes... er that is to say it's now morning, and I wake up to the sounds of screaming, the rest of the party, who are currently in the servants quarters on the other side of town do not. I'm a brawling fighter (wields guantlets) I slept in my light armor (to avoid fatigue), so I'm prepped for battle. I'm in a room on the second story of the inn facing the main street, so rather than open my door and running down the stairs and into the street, I decide to save time, and jump out the window. I make my jump check, make my tumble check, rise (awesomely) from the ground in a cascade of glass, make my spot check and find myself facing a medium Earth elemental... at level two... alone... on terraq firma. A couple rounds in I'm hurting, but two criticals tells me that this things hurting too, miraculously the wizard makes his listen check, runs out to assist me, he summons a celestial giant bee, which attacks... misses... and gets squashed like a... well like a bug. The earth elemental charges wizard, and I leap aboard and smack it in the head. The Earth elemental uses its earth glide ability to hide in the ground, while I pace around looking at the ready. The wizard changes plans and decides to go wake the barbarian and (ranged) fighter, while I prepare to fight the elemental alone again. The barbarian and fighter wake up, but they aren't in their armor, so they're still out for ten rounds, I spot the elemental heading around to the back of the inn and charge after him. I finally take him down, and make a perform dance check (untrained) :dancin: and a perform sing check (untrained) I get a 16 and a 14 on each, and successfully pull off the MC Hammer shuffle, while singing another one bites the dust. I then realize, that since I'm on the windowless side of the inn, the wizard took off, and the others hadn't equipped yet, that absolutely no one saw me take the thing down. :banghead: If I may quote myself. :rant:, ":censored:!... :censored: Nobody :censored:ing saw that?! Oh :censored: come on! This :censored:ing sucks! I :censored:ing hate this town. I should have let the :censored:ing thing destroy this :censored:ing place. :censored:!" :nonono:
Wildonion 11-17-05, 05:26 PM	Rofl
Voila! 11-26-05, 02:01 AM	003) While this didn't actually happen to me, it would be absurd if it did occur. The party stumbles through a portal to an unknown realm. It turns out to be the setting of one of Piers Anthony's fantasy series, Xanth. 'Nuff said.
Silverthumb128 11-26-05, 02:14 AM	0004)My friend Sam realised that upon summoning a creature, you summon it in a location of your choice, doing something at your option. He decided to have his summoned bear do some impromptu humping upon its arrival. :D 0005)Another time(I wasn't in this party), the group encountered a door, possessed by a very old, and very much insane being named "Kathoolahoo(yes, it sounds like C'Thulu)," who would not open until those wishing entrance made Kathoolahoo speak his own name. Here's how it went down: PC1: Knock-knock K: Who's there? PC1: Kathoola K: Kathoola-who? DAMN!!(opens)
Tobus Neth 11-26-05, 03:45 AM	My 7th level fighter Mar'Rok after being seperated from the party by a pit trap that dropped down to the dungeons 5th level.(Mar'Rok had a ring of feather falling,) DM: You land in a dark room Me: I light a torch Dm: Your torch lights up long hall, you can see there is a door at the end. me: I head for the door DM: okay your there me: I check the door, to see if it looks odd or strange Dm: looks like a heavy wooden door with iron bands and hinges. me; I open it DM; you see a large room 80x80 a white fog 3'deep covers the floor. At the far end of the chamber is a pillar of silver where two silver swords spin in thin air. Me: I head for the swords DM: Show the path you take here on the map ME; I draw a straight line and by pass all his pits which he had staggered on the graph paper. Dm; um okay you get to the swords me;what kind DM; longsword and short sword me:cool I'll take em DM: Each is a vorpal blade me:what? Dm;both swords are vorpal me;Speechless
nordyboy 11-26-05, 10:31 AM	6. We were adventuring in the Worlds Largest Dungeon, and we ran into some Stirges. There were a lot of dead bodies in the room and several of us became nauseated, our Paladin was one of them. While he was mostly defenseless, one of the Stirges attacked him. After failing to pull it off of him, he realized something. He could still take move actions. So, he ran full speed at the wall, hoping to kill the Stirge. It worked, but his spiked armor got stuck in the wall. Once he got pulled out, he continued this strategy. Eventually, the DM started randomizing where the Stirges landed on him. Well, this one landed right on his crotch. so, he did the only reasonable thing. He tried to pelvic thrust the Stirge into the wall. It wasn't working to well, so the rest of the party decided to help out. You should have seen his face when he realized that the whole party was trying to hit him in the crotch. Sadly, it didn't work. We all rolled really badly that day. Too bad, too bad. I tried to make a joke that we were only missing because our target had a size modifier, (Diminutive is a +4, right?) but he wouldn't let me finish.
The Grig Fiddler 12-12-05, 12:50 AM	Ok we were playing a campaign and the world was based loosly on the real world. Arabs,Asains,Europeans,Africans,etc. My friend and I being the only 2 people playing at the time are both Asain he is a poor monk and I am a fighter that belongs to a noble house. Anyway this duke asks us to save his daughter from kobolds, and bring her safely back to him. Well my friend in our laungage (I think the made up Asain language was Haun Tao) says she'll be safe on his face. Unexpectedly the duke knows a little of the language and ask him what he said. So I tell the dm I would like to try to bluff and then I come up with the best bluff and one of the best bluff checks any of us have seen. I tell the duke that what it means is that he will keep her in the most sacred place he can, and in culture the face is sacred. Then I go onto to say that the proof of this is my friends facial tatoos, since he is a lowly man he can have them, me being a noble can not. After this lie I roll a nat20 and he believes it. Ill post more as I think of them.
Rotfl_and_Lol 11-01-06, 05:29 AM	I was dm'ing dungeon crawl using table with list of random dungeon features (I had to roll d20 every time party opened the door). I rolled one iron door (dc 28, party level 2), so they tried other way. There was tight corridor with traps ending with stairs to stone door. Every time someone failed to pry the door by more than 10 party had to hold him (str test, dc 10 + dc of door [23 or about] - roll for prying). On failiture all party fell on the traps (weak poisoned darts). They were trying to pry those door for long time (they were attacked 2 times). After natural 20 they congratulated barbarian (he was prying) and walked into short corridor ending with... dead end... Sorry for my english (im european).
DDdreamer 11-06-06, 08:10 AM	i was dm ing a game when suddenly one of the players(bronweg) decided he was going to burn a city to the ground using a tinderbox, he suceeded but drowned when he was trying to escape from the crime scene. The other two players also died, one drowned together with bronweg and the other burned to death when he took a leap into a burning house. weird...:confused: :uh-huh:
Chaos Theory 11-06-06, 11:34 AM	The scene. 8 characters have just been raised by the random high level party cleric. In this world one has to roll to ensure that spells function properly. He critical fails his last raise spell and is now unconcious. 4 or so characters are still active. None higher than level 5. Also in this world high level demons with specific names have a percent chance to "investigate" if their name is used. See where this is going? One stupid question and a type 4 demons appearance later... DM "Its towering over you, what do you do?" 1/2 the party "um, we have 1 HP and are bed ridden" rest of party "Aw :censored: " Dwarf Cleric "I cast command" DM "what command, remember, 1 word only" Dwarf Cleric "leave" DM" ok, roll" Dwarf Cleric * rattle rattle* " 20 " DM " The demon disappears in a cloud of smoke and flames" Party - :OMG!
SeptimusMagistos 11-06-06, 05:37 PM	I once had a party killed in a scenario where said party was trying to find a magical pot that was making hot oatmeal and get it to stop. It's very frustrating to drown in oatmeal and know that everyone else in the world will do the same because you failed to find one stupid pot.
Myree 11-08-06, 01:21 AM	12. (I think) I haven't found a good place to use this yet, but have always liked it and would be glad if someone finds a use for it... The party is fighting through a standard deep, dark dungeon crawl, when suddenly something large appears right in front of you and you are told to roll two saving throws. The DM just grins (I love doing that to them), and tells you to roll one more as he/she pulls out a completely different piece of paper while chuckling to him/herself. "You see a strange greyish green light and suddenly your whole body feels strange. You can't seem to breath and everything goes black. A moment later, you are free again, but your whole body aches. After a few moments of recovery, you realize that you are standing in ankle deep water in a star-lit town square surrounded by strange looking buildings. You hear a sharp intake of breath behind you and turn around to find a young mage-type staring with very wide eyes between you and a burning scroll in his hands. He starts jabbering at you in what might be a strange form of common, but you just can't seem to make it all out." Now, what REALLY happened is you caught an eye-full of a basilisk becoming visible (or maybe a beholder or medusa, or similar nasty), which instantly petrified you. Then, when you were restored, you didn't notice a time difference due to the peculiarities of that condition (I got this idea after a most unusual personal experience with memory-lapse from anesthesia for a medical procedure -- I blinked once and I was suddenly in a completely different room and sore from a procedure my mind was telling me they hadn't even started yet). Anyway, while you were "out", either the rest of the party couldn't save you, or they are now there with you (having also gotten an equal dose). But, either way, someone wandered upon your petrified form and decided that instead of helping you, they could sell you as a home-made statue of GREAT workmanship -- I mean, REALLY realistic looking! Several transaction and a few HUNDRED years later, and here you are as part of a public fountain in a totally different part of the world until some novice thinks he has it all figured out and that you are really some great hero from a by-gone age that is just waiting for him/her to awaken you to take on the local BBEG that wasn't even BORN YET just a minute ago in YOUR time. The player(s) have no idea exactly what happen, don't know where they are, and the language they have always known as "common" has been changed by distance and time, as languages are want to do (in the real world, anyway), so communications are difficult at best until someone can come up with a comprehend languages or such. Your stuff is all antique (but GREAT preservation, unless of course someone dropped you in shipment sometime and broke something important off) and any coinage is most valuable to a coin collector or what it can be reminted for under the current rates. Take your own story-line from there! I just always thought it would be a great way to completely mix things up on 'em. Like I said, just haven't found the right opportunity to spring it yet.
lord_blackfang 11-08-06, 01:48 AM	Myree, I'm sooo using that as the start of my next campaign!
Adrez Nesnsid 11-10-06, 10:26 AM	Yeah, that's awesome