Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Toran_A_Sunder 06-16-07, 10:13 AM	I always wanted to start one of these and finally this idea popped into my head this morning. 1: "Hey sweet thing. Wanna go on an expedition to my Underpants?" 2: "Ooh...Did someone cast gate cus you are an angel, baby!" 3: "Is that an immovable rod in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" 4: "Are you half-fey? Cus you look all nymph to me!" 5: "Hey baby. Wanna go back to my leomund's bedazzled bachelor pad and try out some 'magical experiments'?" And awaaaaay we go!
MagicMouth 06-16-07, 10:18 AM	6) "I´m a 12th Level Paladin. Wanna see my Holy Avenger?" Yeah, I´ve posted this before
navar100 06-16-07, 10:51 AM	7) Wizard with an asp familiar: "Want to see my snake?"
Ebonarc 06-16-07, 12:02 PM	8) Said to a spell caster: "You'll be casting greater shout all night long!
alchemyprime 06-16-07, 12:32 PM	8. Just too good. "Hey baby, wanna see my Rod of Lordly Might? Press the button and it might extend." God, I can't beleive that thrice damned halfling made me say that.
DwarfPcfan 06-16-07, 02:10 PM	9- Ogre to female human peasant: " Hey Baby, guess wich of my organs can lift 10 kilos..." 10- Cleric to said interest: " You must be a godess of mysteries because I feel a sudden need to take you back to my room and do some private worshiping" 11- " Believe me you haven't experienced shapechange till you've experienced it with me 12-" You must be an efreeti because baby you're on fire" 13-" Come with me and MY genie will grant you you're every wish" 14-By a psion: " yes I can use expansion to grow it to collossal size" 15-By a Demilich:" My smile is my best feature..."
navar100 06-16-07, 03:09 PM	16: Warlock: "I'm quite talented with wands, though I have a staff." 17: Rogue: "I'm fond of rouge myself."
stoicfaux 06-16-07, 03:20 PM	18. I know the DM. 19. I'm rich. I play D&D and MtG.
Edymnion 06-16-07, 03:24 PM	20. Hey baby, you wanna see my +5 staff of virginity slaying?
stoicfaux 06-16-07, 04:01 PM	21. I took feats from a compendium that has a Mature rating.. 22. Fighter: The pen is mightier than the sword? Bah. You haven't seen me Cleave with my Greatsword. Bring your friend and I'll show you Whirlwind. 23. Barbarian: You prefer the sensitive spellcaster type, eh? Honey, them scrawny wizards don't have the HP to last all night... 24. Wizard: Hey baby, I can cast Mirror Image. Wanna have a one-dee-four-plus-three-some? 25. It's not the size of the gnome that matters. It's the levels of Illusionist he has... 26. I hear that clerics have amazing Will saves. Can I buy you a Tequila shot? 27. Desperate Conjurer: Awww, come on, baby. I'm soooooo tired of Monster Summoning... 28. I can Cast Alter self. I quote, "the new form must be within one size category of your normal size..." 29. Hello ladies! I can polymorph into a Gibbering Mouther... 30. I'm a talent scout for Gleemax, whom I know personally. 31. Unlike that cute half-demon, none of my abilities are spontaneously cast... 32. Wizard: Baby, I can Empower, Enlarge, Extend, Heighten, Maximize and Widen... . Wizard's Friend: I've known him since first level. It's more like Quicken, Silent and Still. 33. Barbarian: I get a movement bonus when wearing light or no armor... 34. I'm wearing Studded Leather +1 ... 35. My wizard friend over there knows Enlarge... 36. Wizard to a BBW: It's last call, everyone else has hooked up, and I've memorized Reduce Person... 37. Bard: Hey baby, that Wizard who's chatting you up memorized Haste. I mem'd Slow...
Ebonarc 06-16-07, 04:59 PM	(Snip) 24. Wizard: Hey baby, I can cast Mirror Image. Wanna have a one-dee-four-plus-three-some? (Snip) 32. Wizard: Baby, I can Empower, Enlarge, Extend, Heighten, Maximize and Widen... . Wizard's Friend: I've known him since first level. It's more like Quicken, Silent and Still. (Snip) :w00t: :rofl: This is going to be a fun thread. 38. A demon, devil, or other human shaped creature that advances by hit dice: "Hey baby, I just went up a size category and I was wondering..."
The_Grand_Artificer 06-16-07, 05:30 PM	39: Bard: Hey, baby, wanna see my enchanted organ? 40: Wanna see my +5 meat mace of pleasure? 41: Gal, those must be crystal balls of hypnosis, because they've cast facinate on me and I can't look away...
Toran_A_Sunder 06-16-07, 06:40 PM	24. Wizard: Hey baby, I can cast Mirror Image. Wanna have a one-dee-four-plus-three-some? 32. Wizard: Baby, I can Empower, Enlarge, Extend, Heighten, Maximize and Widen... . Wizard's Friend: I've known him since first level. It's more like Quicken, Silent and Still. You, my friend, have won this thread :D And a couple I just thought of: 42: "hey baby. wanna see my trouser 'titan'? You're gonna need monkey grip if you wanna handle it without a -4 penalty ;) " 43: "You wanna see my rope trick?"
navar100 06-16-07, 06:52 PM	44: Monk: Spank this monkey. 45: Cleric with Alignment Domain: Right from the start of my 1st level of domain spells, I use Protection. Cleric with Protection Domain: But I always use Protection.
Sarella Starshine 06-16-07, 07:59 PM	46. anything with the words 'portable hole' and 'imovable rod' in the same sentence
Ebonarc 06-16-07, 08:01 PM	You, my friend, have won this thread :D I second that motion. Those were hilarious. Then again... 47. Stated by a half-orc barbarian: "You'd like me when I'm angry." 48. To a female wizard who knows earthquake: "Care to Shake Me All Night Long?"
Silverthumb128 06-17-07, 12:31 AM	49. I can take 10 on all Tumble checks... baby.
Pangeon 06-17-07, 12:50 AM	Only truly funny when you know someone who's used this line, in real life... 50. "Hey, I'm a 20th level fighter... does that make you hot?"
stoicfaux 06-17-07, 12:55 AM	51. Priestess of Lloth: Stud, when we make love, you'll feel a thousand fingers caressing you, a hundred mouths nibbling at your flesh... If you need it explained:Priestesses of Llloth have a thing for spiders. Imagine a bed of spiders...
Windspear 06-17-07, 09:55 AM	52. Bard: Do you want to watch me play with my... musical instrument?
DaelricHearthsinger 06-17-07, 10:23 AM	53) The Beguiler: Look into my eyes... (do you think Beguilers are ever without dates?) 54) The Ranger: My arrows never miss baby. 55) The Mind Flayer: Ever heard of hentai? No..wanna make some? 56) The Monk: So want to see me use my flurry of blows? 57) My Con is 18 so I can hold my breath for a long time...
Toran_A_Sunder 06-17-07, 11:29 AM	58: Dwarven defender - "Baby, I know all about protection." 59: "Wanna find out how useful wild shape really is?" 60: "Smite evil? Mo' like 'smite g-spot'! Oh!" 61: Elf fighter - "Lemme show you how I use this greatsword!" 62: "Wanna go back to my room, toots? I call it Elysium. You'll never wanna leave!"
Gryllmyre 06-17-07, 11:36 AM	63: To a tavern waitress, from a Cha 4: "So... you work here, huh?"
Aaarrrgh 06-17-07, 11:47 AM	64: Human male, to female orc: So... What's your opinion on half-orcs?
Sajek 06-17-07, 12:14 PM	65. (by female) You want to see how many ranks I have in Perform: WInd Instruments? 66. (to conjurer) I hear you're a demon in the sack!
stoicfaux 06-17-07, 01:38 PM	67. PG-13: At a gay bar: I have a gray Bag of Tricks... 68. Illithid: I'm really into intelligent women... 69. to a buxom lass: Nice! Where'd you find those Orbs of Control Humankind?!? 70. We're both Paladins, baby. There's nothing wrong with a little laying of hands between Paladins. 71. PG-13 Size doesn't matter. Being able to cast Locate Object to find the g-spot matters. 72. PG-13 Wizard: Can I buy you a drink? Or should I just cast Charm Person now? 73. Very Old Man to Cleric: Can you raise the dead? 74. Fighter to Woman: Just so you know, I have the Endurance feat, and I don't take my armor off for anything... 75. Grotesquely Formed Demon: Do you know how hard it is to find a woman with Exotic Weapon Proficiency?!? 76. Wow, baby. I didn't realize Cleavage was a feat! 77. To Cross Eyed Man with Breasts: Yeah, in hindsight the editors shouldn't have put the Cleave and Cleavage feats in alphabetic order... 78. Human Woman to Halfling: Stop right there, Frodo. You have to be at least this tall to ride this ride. 79. Ugly Wizard: Beauty is only an Invisibility spell away... . Woman: I have blindsight. 80. Near Sighted Medusa: With me, you won't need Viagra. 81. Wizard to Friend: You'll find it easier to pick up chicks with this scroll of Resist Energy: Sonic... 82. Dominatrix: My, oh my. Business has never been better since I took a level of Sorcerer. [Casts Animate Rope...] 83. Cleric to Prim Lady: It's ok baby, I can cast Atonement. 84. Bigby's Daughter: Sorry baby, but Father makes me wear Chastity Belt: Bigby's Interposing Hand. But I did nick this scroll of Bigby's Grasping Hand from Father's study for you... 85. Outraged Player to DM: What do you mean my ten ranks of Knowledge(Women) are useless!?!
stoicfaux 06-17-07, 02:12 PM	86. [Frodo approaches a group of ladies in low flowing skirts standing at the bar at a LoTR party] Frodo: Hello ladies, I'm Frodo. I'm the right height and I won't block your view of Aragorn... 87. Frodo: Gandalf! Who's that hot chick at the bar?!? . Gandalf: That's Sally from Accounting. Want me to introduce you? . Fordo: Verily! . Gandalf slides up to Sally: Sally, would you like to meet my little friend?
Fozzytc 06-18-07, 12:12 AM	Bard: Hey babe want to see what 18 charisma is worth under the hood (Shameless OOTS reference):D
Fozzytc 06-18-07, 12:19 AM	67. PG-13: <<snip>> 85. Outraged Player to DM: What do you mean my ten ranks of Knowledge(Women) are useless!?! Sorry, but it doesn't matter how many ranks you have in that knowledge skill, you will never be able to make the DC check :D
Zousha_Omenohu 06-18-07, 03:29 AM	36. Wizard to a BBW: It's last call, everyone else has hooked up, and I've memorized Reduce Person... Technically, Reduce Person only would make said BBW shorter, not thinner, not to mention it sounded kind of rude (but these are cheesy pick-up lines, so they're supposed to be rude). I know if I saw something like this, I'd walk right up to that wizard and say, "Sorry pal, but this vision of beauty is mine!" In the interests of not derailing this, here's a bad pick-up line of my own: 89. You've got a nice base armor class, baby!
Astron the Wizard 06-18-07, 11:37 AM	This is probably going to get locked eventually. Just a heads up.
Ebonarc 06-18-07, 11:43 AM	This is probably going to get locked eventually. Just a heads up. Why?
Astron the Wizard 06-18-07, 11:51 AM	Well, to be honest, some of those things on the first page freaked me out. I didn't report this, but my bet is that someone later on will, having even less of a stomach for those sort of jokes.
RobbyPants 06-18-07, 02:26 PM	90) "Hey baby, wanna..." *Ugh. Why do I even bother trying? I'm married! I'm no good at pick up lines, in or out of game! :P
stoicfaux 06-18-07, 02:42 PM	90) "Hey baby, wanna..." *Ugh. Why do I even bother trying? I'm married! I'm no good at pick up lines, in or out of game! :P Ask your wife for pickup lines used on her... And then, if your self-esteem is high enough, or your therapist good enough, ask which ones worked ...
Rania 06-18-07, 07:26 PM	46. anything with the words 'portable hole' and 'imovable rod' in the same sentence*facepalms repeatedly*
navar100 06-18-07, 08:37 PM	91: Druid: I can be such an animal.
Adrinor 06-18-07, 08:52 PM	92: Roll initiative ladies!
RobbyPants 06-18-07, 09:22 PM	92: Roll initiative ladies! We have a winner! http://s175.photobucket.com/albums/w139/robbypants/Youwintheinternetcoupon.jpg
Ebonarc 06-18-07, 10:00 PM	Well, to be honest, some of those things on the first page freaked me out. I didn't report this, but my bet is that someone later on will, having even less of a stomach for those sort of jokes. Some of them freaked me out, too. Especially the ones labeled "PG-13".90) I'm no good at pick up lines, in or out of game! :PRead back through this thread. That's a very common symptom on these boards. 93. Girl, you must have the Endurance feat, 'cause you been runnin' through my mind all DAY LONG!
glorfon 06-18-07, 11:15 PM	94. Can you help me out? My great wyrm need a cave to hide in.
Toran_A_Sunder 06-19-07, 12:25 AM	94. Can you help me out? My great wyrm need a cave to hide in. Nice! They need to make a high five smiley so I can give you the high five.
Adrinor 06-19-07, 01:11 AM	95:beholder I have all my eyes on you sweetheart. 96: I have improved grab and swallow whole ;)
Silverthumb128 06-19-07, 01:46 AM	Technically, Reduce Person only would make said BBW shorter, not thinner Cast it sideways, genius!
Zousha_Omenohu 06-19-07, 01:53 AM	Huh? Reduce person is a three-dimensional spell, so all proportions are reduced by an equal amount. They are slimmer, but they are also shorter, so they just look like a smaller version of themselves, so they're still the same "size" so to speak. Now instead of a BBW, you've got a BBH (Big Beautiful Halfling).:P
Roivas 06-19-07, 02:04 AM	Hey honey what's the CR of your morals? Note: This pick up line could be used in real life too and the first person to use it successfully gains 1 awesome point.
celestialkin 06-19-07, 11:21 AM	Now instead of a BBW, you've got a BBH (Big Beautiful Halfling).:P A Dwarf minus the beard?
WizO_Cat 06-19-07, 10:55 PM	Sorry everyone but this is too adult for the regular boards but not mature enough for the Mature boards.