1001 D&D "Yo mamma..." jokes [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 D&D "Yo mamma..." jokes [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Sajek
03-13-07, 12:47 PM Self explantory. Keep it clean, dont want to get this closed.

1. Yo mamma so ugly, the other day a cleric tried to Turn her!
2. Yo mamma so old, she dated Pelor in high school!
3. Yo mamma so dumb, she could starve a mind flayer!
4. Yo mamma so fat, in 4E they have a new size category just for her!
ZiggZagg
03-13-07, 12:56 PM 5. Your mother was a gnome (I hate gnomes)
6. Your mother was a kobold (Yes I hate them too)
7. Your momma is so ugly, she couldn't make a Diplomacy check with a Natural 20
8. You mother is so ugly, your father had to be under the effect of dominate person
FntsyWlkr
03-13-07, 04:57 PM Your momma so fat she can flank herself.
Your momma is so stupid she took Fighter all the way to 20th level.
Your momma is so loud, even a gibbering monster told her to "shut up."
Your momma is so ugly, even a lich thought she let herself go.
Your momma is so fat she has a reach of "donut."
Your momma is so mean, you have to treat an area around of up to 10' as hostile terrain.
Your momma is so stupid she bought the Complete Rogue.
Your momma is so skanky she slept with a roper.
Your momma is so old she lent Vecna pimple cream.
Your momma is so old she invented dwarfs.
And finally ...

... your momma is so ugly people dismiss their blindsight feat.

(ta-dah!)
kshade
03-13-07, 06:43 PM Yo momma 's so fat, she can swallow a Purple Worm whole.
Judging Eagle
03-13-07, 06:55 PM Yo momma so nasty, even a gelatinous cube wouldn't eat her.
Sajek
03-13-07, 07:00 PM Yo mamma so old she remembers when Elf was a class!

Yo mamma so ugly people turn Polymorph into her for Frightful Prescence!

Yo mamma's so nasty, the sphere of annihilation said "no, thanks!":eek:
nordyboy
03-13-07, 07:44 PM My sixth level Paladin to an already enraged Erynes:

"Your mother was a Dretch!"
Also...
"Yo momma so old that she got a THACO!"

I'm really amazed that he's still alive.
draco1119
03-13-07, 07:52 PM Your momma so fat she can flank herself.
Your momma is so stupid she took Fighter all the way to 20th level.
Your momma is so loud, even a gibbering monster told her to "shut up."
Your momma is so ugly, even a lich thought she let herself go.
Your momma is so fat she has a reach of "donut."
Your momma is so mean, you have to treat an area around of up to 10' as hostile terrain.
Your momma is so stupid she bought the Complete Rogue.
Your momma is so skanky she slept with a roper.
Your momma is so old she lent Vecna pimple cream.
Your momma is so old she invented dwarfs.
And finally ...

... your momma is so ugly people dismiss their blindsight feat.

(ta-dah!)
:rofl:

Sigged, if you don't mind.

Yo momma's so short she uses vermin for mounts!
SALDAR
03-13-07, 11:13 PM Your momma is so fat she has a reach of "donut."
This is very good.

Your momma is so ugly it caused Tharizdun to say "No thanks. I'll stay where I'm at."
Korhal IV
03-13-07, 11:38 PM Yo momma 's so fat, she can swallow a Purple Worm whole.

Am I the only one who saw terrible, terrible implications in this one?
Solaris
03-14-07, 12:50 AM Your momma so fat she can flank herself.
Your momma is so fat she has a reach of "donut."Awesome.
Poison_Dusk
03-14-07, 12:51 AM Yo momma is so old she remembers when AO was born.
CTHUHLU_THE_GROOVY
03-14-07, 02:03 AM Yo mama so fat, she has stability and powerful build as racials, and she's human!

Yo mama's so ugly, a beholder shot itself when it saw her!

Yo mama's so dumb so dumb, she's immune to all mind affecting spells and abilities!

Yo mama's so fat and ugly, her type is abberations!

Yo mama so dumb, her type is vermin!

Yo mama's so loose, your brother's a mongrelman!

Yo mama's so dumb, she spent a feat to learn to use a club!

More if I think of any...
SilvercatMoonpaw
03-14-07, 10:37 AM Yo momma's so ugly, a dragon rejected her.

Yo momma's so uptight, Mechanus got scrapped.
Fencerboy
03-14-07, 12:17 PM What a ridiculously assenine collection of dribble.

Seriously. Your mothers would probably regret meeting your fathers if they saw this crap.

I was once told, don't tell a joke you wouldn't tell your mother. I think theseare in that category.
Montravont
03-14-07, 12:36 PM What a ridiculously assenine collection of dribble.

Seriously. Your mothers would probably regret meeting your fathers if they saw this crap.

I was once told, don't tell a joke you wouldn't tell your mother. I think theseare in that category.

Are you kidding? My mom would love these jokes. =p
so would the mothers of most of my friends.

Also, please don't be a buzz kill. If you don't like it, don't read it and definately don't bother commenting on it.
Sajek
03-14-07, 12:40 PM What a ridiculously assenine collection of dribble.

Seriously. Your mothers would probably regret meeting your fathers if they saw this crap.

I was once told, don't tell a joke you wouldn't tell your mother. I think theseare in that category.

Nobody actually takes these jokes seriously. OF COURSE your mother is not so fat that you have to take a train to get on her good side! They are funny because of how asinine they are.

Oh yeah, and yo mamma's so ugly paladins flee from her.
Alcari Ambaron
03-14-07, 01:24 PM so, no numbering then?

Yo mamma's so old, she went to school with Ao
Yo mamma's so fat, she fell onto a Wall of Force and broke it
Yo mamma's so fat, she needs Haste just to turn around TODAY
Yo mamma's so heavy, grimlocks just call her Earthquake
Yo mamma's so short, a needle is a two handed weapon for her
Yo mamma's so stupid, she needs a feat just to punch someone.
Yo mamma's so stupid, she thinks elfs can use greatswords
Yo mamma's so stupid, she bought the head of vecna for her birthday
Yo mamma's so fat, when she's in an invisibility sphere you can still see her.
Yo mamma's so fat, the devouring bag got full.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she planeshifted to the Etheral plane, it got full.
Mindolin
03-14-07, 01:33 PM Yo mamma's so ugly, Ashardalon wouldn't sleep with her.

(And for those who don't know, Ashardalon has slept with a saytr, dire bear, kobold, and ettin, so his standards are low for even a red dragon.)
Rickiel
03-14-07, 01:39 PM 52: Yo momma's so fat, the Lady of Pain put her in a one room maze!
Montravont
03-14-07, 01:42 PM You're momma's so ugly, the Tarasque went back into hiding.
You're momma's so big, she uses the Tarasque as a toy.
You're momma's so fat, she took Weapon Finesse(Orc).
kshade
03-14-07, 01:48 PM Am I the only one who saw terrible, terrible implications in this one?
I guess so. :mymy:
Montravont
03-14-07, 02:26 PM Wise Old Mission Giver:
"The Red Dragon you seek lies over the 'Rolling Hills' in the 'Maiden's Nose'
Party Leader:
"So. . . by the 'Maiden's Nose' you mean, your Momma's nose and by 'Rolling Hill's' You mean her arm?"

Wise Old Mission Giver:
*sighs* "Yes"
FntsyWlkr
03-14-07, 02:53 PM :rofl:

Sigged, if you don't mind.

Of course!

Couple more ...

Your momma is so fat she took a couple skill ranks in eating.
Your momma is so dumb, she thought PHB stood for "Pheanut Butter."
Your momma is so fat she power attacks with a ham.
Your momma is so skanky, she asked to see my "pit fiend."
Your momma is so fat she cast circle of protection Slimfast.
Your momma is so dumb she has an IQ score of "B"
Your momma looks so much like a man that a doppleganger asked her for advice.
Your momma is so ugly she couldn't "alter self."
Your momma is so ugly, even Neogi's pass her by.
and finally ...

Your momma is so fat, she cast "Reverse Gravity" and got stuck.
Daydreamer
03-14-07, 03:01 PM Your momma so ugly anyone trying to fight her had better have the blind fighting feat.

YOur momma so ugly she can kill medusas with ease, they cant use a gaze attack on her

Your momma so ugly she was the inspiration for the horrid wilting spell

YOur momma so ugly she was the inspiration for the blind self spell.
Montravont
03-14-07, 04:03 PM You're momma's so ugly, when she casts Mirror Image, all she gets is a mirror with the words "NO WAY!" on it.

You're momma's so fat, enlarge person fails.

You're momma's so dumb, she went to see a Red Dragon thinking it was an oriental restaurant. But, that's ok, she's so fat, she ate it anyway.
Argo
03-14-07, 05:43 PM Yo momma's so fat, she fell in a pit trap and got stuck.
Yo momma's so greasy, sovereign glue won't stick.
Yo momma's so dumb, she got outsmarted by a construct.
Yo momma's so stupid, she tripped over a dry tanglefoot bag.
Yo momma's so hairy, people think she's a lycanthrope.
Yo momma's so stanky, she gagged a Troglodyte.
Yo momma's so skanky, she gagged ON a Troglodyte.
Nidair
03-14-07, 06:34 PM Argo, can you please keep it clean? :P
Lord_Gareth
03-14-07, 06:41 PM Alright, this one is really long-winded, BUUUUUUUUT

My Bard took the Goad feat and acts as a sort of second fighter for the group when there's multiple big nasties, 'cause the rogue is busy and the wizard can't take that crap to the face. Recently, my DM decides that our sucess on Goad will no longer be based on dice-rolls, but by how good of an insult we come up with.

Cut to us fighting some Frost Giants. The Fighter is down for the count and the chieftan, the only one left alive, is going after our Wizard while the Cleric tries to heal the fighter.

"Oi! Your mother was the misbegotten daughter of an ogre-whelped fire salamander and an underevolved wizard experiment that was turned loose from the lab because it was simply too hideous to look upon!"

The frost giant chieftan turns to look at me, but doesn't do anything, so I follow up with this,

"And she dances like an elf!"

I take fifty points of damage from his critical great club strike. At 1 H.P, I barely hit him for 12 and kill him. He falls on the Cleric and Fighter, killing the latter and annoying the former.

It was fun times..
High Octane
03-14-07, 06:49 PM Yo mommas so dumb zombies just pass her by.
Yo mommas so old elves wonder why she aint dead.
Yo mommas so ugly she made Vecna cry from BOTH eyes.
Yo mommas so fat Kord couldnt lift her.
Yo mommas so dumb she bought The Book of Exhalted deeds AND Vile Darkness. At full price.
Yo mommas so dumb shes camping out for 4th edition.
Yo mommas so dumb she hid her makeup and rubbed a thief on her face for beauty.
Yo mommas so dumb under "Familiar" she wrote "not really, but Ill learn."
Yo mommas so fat under size she put "XXXXXXXXXXXL"
Yo mommas so dirty she gave the mummy his rot.
Alcari Ambaron
03-14-07, 08:14 PM Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks PI r round
(in recognision of PI day (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi_day))

Yo momma's so heavy, she doesn't need invisibility, light bends around her
(in recognision of Albert Einsteins birthday (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein)
Geogoose
03-15-07, 06:51 AM Yo momma so dumb she wears a Hat of Stupitidy to remember your name.
Yo momma so greasy she has to make balance check to sit on a chair.
Yo momma so fat she blocks line on sight to herself.
Yo momma so butch orc barbarians call her Sir.
Yo momma so ugly she shapechange into a zombie to get a date.
Yo momma so evil even Vecna gets to Smite her.
Yo momma so narrow she makes Mialee seem like a Dwarf.
Yo momma so short she calls Lidda a Ling.
Warforged Goblin
03-15-07, 10:18 AM Your mother is so fat, beholders need to disintegrate her one 10 ft cube at a time.
Your mother is so stupid, she thought spinning a zombie was the same as turning undead.
Your mother is so ugly, she went to the Hag Countess for beauty tips.
_Jayne_Cobb_
03-15-07, 10:51 AM Yo mamma so dumb she thinks yo mamma jokes are funny.

;)
FntsyWlkr
03-15-07, 12:24 PM Yo mamma so dumb she thinks yo mamma jokes are funny.

;)

... whudja say about my momma?!?!
Alcari Ambaron
03-15-07, 12:25 PM Yo momma's so big, castles get cover from her
Archon515
03-15-07, 04:25 PM Yo mamma so dumb she thinks yo mamma jokes are funny.

;)

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

To contribute:

Your momma so dumb, she used the Elite Array for skill points.
Pandaemoni
03-15-07, 04:31 PM Yo mamma so dumb, she invented the flumph.

You mamma so fat she beat the gibbering mouther in a butter eating contest.
docjack
03-16-07, 07:18 PM yo mamma's so ugly she scared the feats offa Pun-Pun.

yo mamma's so ugly she went to Ravenloft and came back with a job application.
jack

o.k. one more... yo mamma's so stupid she thought D&D was cheaper M&Ms.
Whisper_Swiftblade
03-16-07, 09:06 PM yo mama's so ugly even cathulu would not call her!
khyron1144
03-16-07, 09:50 PM Yo mama's so old she remembers when 0 was a good Armor Class.
angelus_truelove
03-16-07, 09:51 PM Yo mamma so ugly, she's my inspiration for Death Urge.
Kavu Overlord
03-16-07, 10:37 PM Yo momma is so fat planets can get AoO's on her.
Yo momma is so fat she has to take a feat to move her arm.
Yo momma is so ugly that the BBEG ran away from her.
Pandaemoni
03-17-07, 10:05 AM Yo mamma so fat, her subtype is "Ooze"
Yo mamma so dumb, the oozes were offended by that.
Rhyvurg
03-17-07, 10:23 AM Yo momma 's so fat, she can swallow a Purple Worm whole.

Yo momma's so easy she [I]has[I] swallowed a purple worm whole
Edymnion
03-17-07, 11:03 AM Yo momma is soooo ugly... she made a beholder blink!
Yo momma is soooo big... you could hit her on a natural 1.
Yo momma is soooo fat... she has damage reduction 5/piercing.
Yo momma is soooo stupid... she buys 10' poles and cuts them down to quarterstaves.
MechMage
03-17-07, 04:58 PM Yo mamma so clumsy, she missed her coup de gra.
zvbxrpl
03-17-07, 08:49 PM Yo momma is so dumb, her alignment is automatically set to TN.
Yo momma is so hairy, even shifter guys won't date her.
Yo momma is so mean, all those 'Is my paladin evil if he eats kobold babies?' threads are about HER.
Yo momma is so fat that the size categories are tiny, small, medium, large, huge, gargantuan, colossal, and Yo Momma.
Bahamut_the_Gold
03-17-07, 11:12 PM Yo human momma sooo ugly the last time she came across an orc raiding party they all dropped to their knees screaming "Gruumish! Gruumish!"
Drodain
03-17-07, 11:30 PM Yo momma so fat Pun-Pun couldn't lift her.
calronmoonflower
03-18-07, 05:00 AM Yo momma so fat that mages summon her to block hallways.

Yo momma so ugly she turned a Medusa into stone.

Yo momma so dumb that Feeble Mind makes her smarter.

Yo momma so stanky she makes troglodytes wretch.
R99
03-27-07, 01:09 PM Yo Momma so fat, there's more of her than there are spells in the spell compedium.
CapnBone
03-27-07, 07:24 PM Some fresh ones that haven't been duplicated..

a) Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't need to cast "Summon Monster.." .. she just looks around and picks one up.

b) Yo momma's so fat, Bigby invented his "Hands" spells just to compete with HER hands.

3) Yo momma's so ugly, she doesn't need to taunt. Her face is insulting enough.

4) Yo momma's so fat she doesn't need the "telekinesis" spell to bring objects closer; she just uses the laws of gravitation.

q) Yo momma's so dumb, she LOSES skills points upon gaining a level.

x) Yo momma's so fat, Spheres of Annihilation are merely gates her to various bodily orifices (interpret that as you will).

7) Yo momma's so mean, she hurt Kthulu's feelings and made him cry.

8) Yo momma's so mean, coup de grace's healthy Tarrasques to death with a spoon as punishment for making so much damn noise when they wake up.

9) Yo momma's breath is so bad.. she once took a level in Paladin but immediately lost all paladin spells and abilities.

10) Yo momma's so fat AND easy, "Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion" is modelled after her .. well, I want to keep this clean, so let's say .. her shanty on the shoals.

LOL
SKAMBANKT
03-27-07, 08:11 PM Posted by High Octane: Yo mommas so old elves wonder why she aint dead.

LOL:rofl:
I need to sig this if its okay.
Blackskullgreymon
03-27-07, 09:59 PM Yo momma's so dumb, she thought a d12 was one short of a baker's dozen.
Adamaro23
06-22-07, 12:33 AM Yo mamma's so fat she provides full coverage... for two!
calronmoonflower
06-22-07, 02:46 AM Yo mamma is so fat, ugly, and stanky that she IS a level of the Abyss.
Adamaro23
08-01-07, 06:08 PM 'casts Raise Thread'

Yo Mommas so ugly she birthed a Half-dragon son with a human male.
Diamondfist
08-01-07, 10:38 PM Yo Momma's so big, she's why it's called "The Sunless Citadel".
Yo Momma's so hairy, bigfoot's looking for her.
Yo Momma's so fat, Bigby's Crushing Hand just tickles her.
Yo Momma's so funky, she paralyzes ghouls.
Yo Momma's so dumb, when she sees an Inn, she says, "In what?"
Yo Momma's so ugly, she makes hill giants run for cover.
Tedronai
08-01-07, 11:10 PM Not exactly a purist 'yo mamma' joke, but, I still think it's damn good, particularly if directed at an elf

Yo mamma was a Gully Dwarf, and your father? Was an Orc!
marthais
08-02-07, 05:24 PM yo mama's so fat, she doesn't need a spell to travel between planes.
Foderal
08-02-07, 07:57 PM Yo mamma so fat that she get -32 size penalty to AC
Yo mamma so fat that she get +20 Natural armour from fat to AC
Yo mamma so dumb, she tried to eat a Black Pudding
Yo mamma so ugly, Gruumsh asked Corellon Larethian to take his other eye after looking at her.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Sajek 03-13-07, 12:47 PM	Self explantory. Keep it clean, dont want to get this closed. 1. Yo mamma so ugly, the other day a cleric tried to Turn her! 2. Yo mamma so old, she dated Pelor in high school! 3. Yo mamma so dumb, she could starve a mind flayer! 4. Yo mamma so fat, in 4E they have a new size category just for her!
ZiggZagg 03-13-07, 12:56 PM	5. Your mother was a gnome (I hate gnomes) 6. Your mother was a kobold (Yes I hate them too) 7. Your momma is so ugly, she couldn't make a Diplomacy check with a Natural 20 8. You mother is so ugly, your father had to be under the effect of dominate person
FntsyWlkr 03-13-07, 04:57 PM	Your momma so fat she can flank herself. Your momma is so stupid she took Fighter all the way to 20th level. Your momma is so loud, even a gibbering monster told her to "shut up." Your momma is so ugly, even a lich thought she let herself go. Your momma is so fat she has a reach of "donut." Your momma is so mean, you have to treat an area around of up to 10' as hostile terrain. Your momma is so stupid she bought the Complete Rogue. Your momma is so skanky she slept with a roper. Your momma is so old she lent Vecna pimple cream. Your momma is so old she invented dwarfs. And finally ... ... your momma is so ugly people dismiss their blindsight feat. (ta-dah!)
kshade 03-13-07, 06:43 PM	Yo momma 's so fat, she can swallow a Purple Worm whole.
Judging Eagle 03-13-07, 06:55 PM	Yo momma so nasty, even a gelatinous cube wouldn't eat her.
Sajek 03-13-07, 07:00 PM	Yo mamma so old she remembers when Elf was a class! Yo mamma so ugly people turn Polymorph into her for Frightful Prescence! Yo mamma's so nasty, the sphere of annihilation said "no, thanks!":eek:
nordyboy 03-13-07, 07:44 PM	My sixth level Paladin to an already enraged Erynes: "Your mother was a Dretch!" Also... "Yo momma so old that she got a THACO!" I'm really amazed that he's still alive.
draco1119 03-13-07, 07:52 PM	Your momma so fat she can flank herself. Your momma is so stupid she took Fighter all the way to 20th level. Your momma is so loud, even a gibbering monster told her to "shut up." Your momma is so ugly, even a lich thought she let herself go. Your momma is so fat she has a reach of "donut." Your momma is so mean, you have to treat an area around of up to 10' as hostile terrain. Your momma is so stupid she bought the Complete Rogue. Your momma is so skanky she slept with a roper. Your momma is so old she lent Vecna pimple cream. Your momma is so old she invented dwarfs. And finally ... ... your momma is so ugly people dismiss their blindsight feat. (ta-dah!) :rofl: Sigged, if you don't mind. Yo momma's so short she uses vermin for mounts!
SALDAR 03-13-07, 11:13 PM	Your momma is so fat she has a reach of "donut." This is very good. Your momma is so ugly it caused Tharizdun to say "No thanks. I'll stay where I'm at."
Korhal IV 03-13-07, 11:38 PM	Yo momma 's so fat, she can swallow a Purple Worm whole. Am I the only one who saw terrible, terrible implications in this one?
Solaris 03-14-07, 12:50 AM	Your momma so fat she can flank herself. Your momma is so fat she has a reach of "donut."Awesome.
Poison_Dusk 03-14-07, 12:51 AM	Yo momma is so old she remembers when AO was born.
CTHUHLU_THE_GROOVY 03-14-07, 02:03 AM	Yo mama so fat, she has stability and powerful build as racials, and she's human! Yo mama's so ugly, a beholder shot itself when it saw her! Yo mama's so dumb so dumb, she's immune to all mind affecting spells and abilities! Yo mama's so fat and ugly, her type is abberations! Yo mama so dumb, her type is vermin! Yo mama's so loose, your brother's a mongrelman! Yo mama's so dumb, she spent a feat to learn to use a club! More if I think of any...
SilvercatMoonpaw 03-14-07, 10:37 AM	Yo momma's so ugly, a dragon rejected her. Yo momma's so uptight, Mechanus got scrapped.
Fencerboy 03-14-07, 12:17 PM	What a ridiculously assenine collection of dribble. Seriously. Your mothers would probably regret meeting your fathers if they saw this crap. I was once told, don't tell a joke you wouldn't tell your mother. I think theseare in that category.
Montravont 03-14-07, 12:36 PM	What a ridiculously assenine collection of dribble. Seriously. Your mothers would probably regret meeting your fathers if they saw this crap. I was once told, don't tell a joke you wouldn't tell your mother. I think theseare in that category. Are you kidding? My mom would love these jokes. =p so would the mothers of most of my friends. Also, please don't be a buzz kill. If you don't like it, don't read it and definately don't bother commenting on it.
Sajek 03-14-07, 12:40 PM	What a ridiculously assenine collection of dribble. Seriously. Your mothers would probably regret meeting your fathers if they saw this crap. I was once told, don't tell a joke you wouldn't tell your mother. I think theseare in that category. Nobody actually takes these jokes seriously. OF COURSE your mother is not so fat that you have to take a train to get on her good side! They are funny because of how asinine they are. Oh yeah, and yo mamma's so ugly paladins flee from her.
Alcari Ambaron 03-14-07, 01:24 PM	so, no numbering then? Yo mamma's so old, she went to school with Ao Yo mamma's so fat, she fell onto a Wall of Force and broke it Yo mamma's so fat, she needs Haste just to turn around TODAY Yo mamma's so heavy, grimlocks just call her Earthquake Yo mamma's so short, a needle is a two handed weapon for her Yo mamma's so stupid, she needs a feat just to punch someone. Yo mamma's so stupid, she thinks elfs can use greatswords Yo mamma's so stupid, she bought the head of vecna for her birthday Yo mamma's so fat, when she's in an invisibility sphere you can still see her. Yo mamma's so fat, the devouring bag got full. Yo mamma's so fat, when she planeshifted to the Etheral plane, it got full.
Mindolin 03-14-07, 01:33 PM	Yo mamma's so ugly, Ashardalon wouldn't sleep with her. (And for those who don't know, Ashardalon has slept with a saytr, dire bear, kobold, and ettin, so his standards are low for even a red dragon.)
Rickiel 03-14-07, 01:39 PM	52: Yo momma's so fat, the Lady of Pain put her in a one room maze!
Montravont 03-14-07, 01:42 PM	You're momma's so ugly, the Tarasque went back into hiding. You're momma's so big, she uses the Tarasque as a toy. You're momma's so fat, she took Weapon Finesse(Orc).
kshade 03-14-07, 01:48 PM	Am I the only one who saw terrible, terrible implications in this one? I guess so. :mymy:
Montravont 03-14-07, 02:26 PM	Wise Old Mission Giver: "The Red Dragon you seek lies over the 'Rolling Hills' in the 'Maiden's Nose' Party Leader: "So. . . by the 'Maiden's Nose' you mean, your Momma's nose and by 'Rolling Hill's' You mean her arm?" Wise Old Mission Giver: sighs "Yes"
FntsyWlkr 03-14-07, 02:53 PM	:rofl: Sigged, if you don't mind. Of course! Couple more ... Your momma is so fat she took a couple skill ranks in eating. Your momma is so dumb, she thought PHB stood for "Pheanut Butter." Your momma is so fat she power attacks with a ham. Your momma is so skanky, she asked to see my "pit fiend." Your momma is so fat she cast circle of protection Slimfast. Your momma is so dumb she has an IQ score of "B" Your momma looks so much like a man that a doppleganger asked her for advice. Your momma is so ugly she couldn't "alter self." Your momma is so ugly, even Neogi's pass her by. and finally ... Your momma is so fat, she cast "Reverse Gravity" and got stuck.
Daydreamer 03-14-07, 03:01 PM	Your momma so ugly anyone trying to fight her had better have the blind fighting feat. YOur momma so ugly she can kill medusas with ease, they cant use a gaze attack on her Your momma so ugly she was the inspiration for the horrid wilting spell YOur momma so ugly she was the inspiration for the blind self spell.
Montravont 03-14-07, 04:03 PM	You're momma's so ugly, when she casts Mirror Image, all she gets is a mirror with the words "NO WAY!" on it. You're momma's so fat, enlarge person fails. You're momma's so dumb, she went to see a Red Dragon thinking it was an oriental restaurant. But, that's ok, she's so fat, she ate it anyway.
Argo 03-14-07, 05:43 PM	Yo momma's so fat, she fell in a pit trap and got stuck. Yo momma's so greasy, sovereign glue won't stick. Yo momma's so dumb, she got outsmarted by a construct. Yo momma's so stupid, she tripped over a dry tanglefoot bag. Yo momma's so hairy, people think she's a lycanthrope. Yo momma's so stanky, she gagged a Troglodyte. Yo momma's so skanky, she gagged ON a Troglodyte.
Nidair 03-14-07, 06:34 PM	Argo, can you please keep it clean? :P
Lord_Gareth 03-14-07, 06:41 PM	Alright, this one is really long-winded, BUUUUUUUUT My Bard took the Goad feat and acts as a sort of second fighter for the group when there's multiple big nasties, 'cause the rogue is busy and the wizard can't take that crap to the face. Recently, my DM decides that our sucess on Goad will no longer be based on dice-rolls, but by how good of an insult we come up with. Cut to us fighting some Frost Giants. The Fighter is down for the count and the chieftan, the only one left alive, is going after our Wizard while the Cleric tries to heal the fighter. "Oi! Your mother was the misbegotten daughter of an ogre-whelped fire salamander and an underevolved wizard experiment that was turned loose from the lab because it was simply too hideous to look upon!" The frost giant chieftan turns to look at me, but doesn't do anything, so I follow up with this, "And she dances like an elf!" I take fifty points of damage from his critical great club strike. At 1 H.P, I barely hit him for 12 and kill him. He falls on the Cleric and Fighter, killing the latter and annoying the former. It was fun times..
High Octane 03-14-07, 06:49 PM	Yo mommas so dumb zombies just pass her by. Yo mommas so old elves wonder why she aint dead. Yo mommas so ugly she made Vecna cry from BOTH eyes. Yo mommas so fat Kord couldnt lift her. Yo mommas so dumb she bought The Book of Exhalted deeds AND Vile Darkness. At full price. Yo mommas so dumb shes camping out for 4th edition. Yo mommas so dumb she hid her makeup and rubbed a thief on her face for beauty. Yo mommas so dumb under "Familiar" she wrote "not really, but Ill learn." Yo mommas so fat under size she put "XXXXXXXXXXXL" Yo mommas so dirty she gave the mummy his rot.
Alcari Ambaron 03-14-07, 08:14 PM	Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks PI r round (in recognision of PI day (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi_day)) Yo momma's so heavy, she doesn't need invisibility, light bends around her (in recognision of Albert Einsteins birthday (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein)
Geogoose 03-15-07, 06:51 AM	Yo momma so dumb she wears a Hat of Stupitidy to remember your name. Yo momma so greasy she has to make balance check to sit on a chair. Yo momma so fat she blocks line on sight to herself. Yo momma so butch orc barbarians call her Sir. Yo momma so ugly she shapechange into a zombie to get a date. Yo momma so evil even Vecna gets to Smite her. Yo momma so narrow she makes Mialee seem like a Dwarf. Yo momma so short she calls Lidda a Ling.
Warforged Goblin 03-15-07, 10:18 AM	Your mother is so fat, beholders need to disintegrate her one 10 ft cube at a time. Your mother is so stupid, she thought spinning a zombie was the same as turning undead. Your mother is so ugly, she went to the Hag Countess for beauty tips.
_Jayne_Cobb_ 03-15-07, 10:51 AM	Yo mamma so dumb she thinks yo mamma jokes are funny. ;)
FntsyWlkr 03-15-07, 12:24 PM	Yo mamma so dumb she thinks yo mamma jokes are funny. ;) ... whudja say about my momma?!?!
Alcari Ambaron 03-15-07, 12:25 PM	Yo momma's so big, castles get cover from her
Archon515 03-15-07, 04:25 PM	Yo mamma so dumb she thinks yo mamma jokes are funny. ;) :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: To contribute: Your momma so dumb, she used the Elite Array for skill points.
Pandaemoni 03-15-07, 04:31 PM	Yo mamma so dumb, she invented the flumph. You mamma so fat she beat the gibbering mouther in a butter eating contest.
docjack 03-16-07, 07:18 PM	yo mamma's so ugly she scared the feats offa Pun-Pun. yo mamma's so ugly she went to Ravenloft and came back with a job application. jack o.k. one more... yo mamma's so stupid she thought D&D was cheaper M&Ms.
Whisper_Swiftblade 03-16-07, 09:06 PM	yo mama's so ugly even cathulu would not call her!
khyron1144 03-16-07, 09:50 PM	Yo mama's so old she remembers when 0 was a good Armor Class.
angelus_truelove 03-16-07, 09:51 PM	Yo mamma so ugly, she's my inspiration for Death Urge.
Kavu Overlord 03-16-07, 10:37 PM	Yo momma is so fat planets can get AoO's on her. Yo momma is so fat she has to take a feat to move her arm. Yo momma is so ugly that the BBEG ran away from her.
Pandaemoni 03-17-07, 10:05 AM	Yo mamma so fat, her subtype is "Ooze" Yo mamma so dumb, the oozes were offended by that.
Rhyvurg 03-17-07, 10:23 AM	Yo momma 's so fat, she can swallow a Purple Worm whole. Yo momma's so easy she [I]has[I] swallowed a purple worm whole
Edymnion 03-17-07, 11:03 AM	Yo momma is soooo ugly... she made a beholder blink! Yo momma is soooo big... you could hit her on a natural 1. Yo momma is soooo fat... she has damage reduction 5/piercing. Yo momma is soooo stupid... she buys 10' poles and cuts them down to quarterstaves.
MechMage 03-17-07, 04:58 PM	Yo mamma so clumsy, she missed her coup de gra.
zvbxrpl 03-17-07, 08:49 PM	Yo momma is so dumb, her alignment is automatically set to TN. Yo momma is so hairy, even shifter guys won't date her. Yo momma is so mean, all those 'Is my paladin evil if he eats kobold babies?' threads are about HER. Yo momma is so fat that the size categories are tiny, small, medium, large, huge, gargantuan, colossal, and Yo Momma.
Bahamut_the_Gold 03-17-07, 11:12 PM	Yo human momma sooo ugly the last time she came across an orc raiding party they all dropped to their knees screaming "Gruumish! Gruumish!"
Drodain 03-17-07, 11:30 PM	Yo momma so fat Pun-Pun couldn't lift her.
calronmoonflower 03-18-07, 05:00 AM	Yo momma so fat that mages summon her to block hallways. Yo momma so ugly she turned a Medusa into stone. Yo momma so dumb that Feeble Mind makes her smarter. Yo momma so stanky she makes troglodytes wretch.
R99 03-27-07, 01:09 PM	Yo Momma so fat, there's more of her than there are spells in the spell compedium.
CapnBone 03-27-07, 07:24 PM	Some fresh ones that haven't been duplicated.. a) Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't need to cast "Summon Monster.." .. she just looks around and picks one up. b) Yo momma's so fat, Bigby invented his "Hands" spells just to compete with HER hands. 3) Yo momma's so ugly, she doesn't need to taunt. Her face is insulting enough. 4) Yo momma's so fat she doesn't need the "telekinesis" spell to bring objects closer; she just uses the laws of gravitation. q) Yo momma's so dumb, she LOSES skills points upon gaining a level. x) Yo momma's so fat, Spheres of Annihilation are merely gates her to various bodily orifices (interpret that as you will). 7) Yo momma's so mean, she hurt Kthulu's feelings and made him cry. 8) Yo momma's so mean, coup de grace's healthy Tarrasques to death with a spoon as punishment for making so much damn noise when they wake up. 9) Yo momma's breath is so bad.. she once took a level in Paladin but immediately lost all paladin spells and abilities. 10) Yo momma's so fat AND easy, "Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion" is modelled after her .. well, I want to keep this clean, so let's say .. her shanty on the shoals. LOL
SKAMBANKT 03-27-07, 08:11 PM	Posted by High Octane: Yo mommas so old elves wonder why she aint dead. LOL:rofl: I need to sig this if its okay.
Blackskullgreymon 03-27-07, 09:59 PM	Yo momma's so dumb, she thought a d12 was one short of a baker's dozen.
Adamaro23 06-22-07, 12:33 AM	Yo mamma's so fat she provides full coverage... for two!
calronmoonflower 06-22-07, 02:46 AM	Yo mamma is so fat, ugly, and stanky that she IS a level of the Abyss.
Adamaro23 08-01-07, 06:08 PM	'casts Raise Thread' Yo Mommas so ugly she birthed a Half-dragon son with a human male.
Diamondfist 08-01-07, 10:38 PM	Yo Momma's so big, she's why it's called "The Sunless Citadel". Yo Momma's so hairy, bigfoot's looking for her. Yo Momma's so fat, Bigby's Crushing Hand just tickles her. Yo Momma's so funky, she paralyzes ghouls. Yo Momma's so dumb, when she sees an Inn, she says, "In what?" Yo Momma's so ugly, she makes hill giants run for cover.
Tedronai 08-01-07, 11:10 PM	Not exactly a purist 'yo mamma' joke, but, I still think it's damn good, particularly if directed at an elf Yo mamma was a Gully Dwarf, and your father? Was an Orc!
marthais 08-02-07, 05:24 PM	yo mama's so fat, she doesn't need a spell to travel between planes.
Foderal 08-02-07, 07:57 PM	Yo mamma so fat that she get -32 size penalty to AC Yo mamma so fat that she get +20 Natural armour from fat to AC Yo mamma so dumb, she tried to eat a Black Pudding Yo mamma so ugly, Gruumsh asked Corellon Larethian to take his other eye after looking at her.