1001 D&D Pickup-Lines [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 D&D Pickup-Lines [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Ashlord
03-14-08, 12:30 AM Okay, this may seem immature, but it's worth a shot.

The lines can be ingame or outside of the game. Your choice. And try to not recycle jokes, at least without adding something.

BEGIN!
ciaran
03-14-08, 01:44 AM "Are those natural? Hem, er, ah... 20s I mean... Bye..."

"Can I have +2 to hit that for a charge?"
pmurray@bigpond.com
03-14-08, 08:21 AM Wanna see my pair of big d20's?
or:
I have icosahedral *********!

Naah, that ain't going to work.
Edymnion
03-14-08, 08:35 AM "Hey baby, wanna come up and see my +3 wand?"

"I can use delay action all night long!"

"I've got a Charisma of 23, max ranks and skill focus in Seduction, and I just rolled a 17. Are we doing it yet?"
ColonelPanic
03-14-08, 08:40 AM (female) - Is that a mace inside your pants, or are you just pleased to see me?

(male) - The name of the god of love is <insert name here>. I know you don't care right now, but you will be screaming the name all night.

(male) - Come quick, hide under me, there is a dragon on the loose.
Silverclaw
03-14-08, 10:18 AM something like this? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0244.html)
Naderion
03-14-08, 10:26 AM "Are those natural? Hem, er, ah... 20s I mean... Bye..."

"Can I have +2 to hit that for a charge?"

There's a girl t-shirt with two d20 with the 20 up on the chest. And under it the captation: "Yes, they are natural".
WHW4
03-14-08, 11:45 AM "Is that an immovable rod in your belt pouch, or are you just happy to see me?"
Gentlemanic
03-14-08, 12:04 PM - Whooo, you look sweet.. I must have really nailed that spot check ;)
- Baby, I know every page in the Player's handbook.
- Hold me! (Roll a grapple check, I won't AoO..)
Dog_O_War
03-14-08, 12:21 PM 16. "I'm a wizard, and when I looked at you I detected magic all over".

17. "My knowledge: nature check tells me you are most certainly a Nymph".

18. "I know the spell enlarge person."

19. "So you say you have max ranks in ride? That's awsome because I just learned how to wear a saddle".

20. "...I put on my wizard's hat and robes..." (guess this incredibly obscure reference).
RPJesus
03-14-08, 12:35 PM SNL?
There was something in a sig about flurry of blows :D.
Dog_O_War
03-14-08, 12:39 PM SNL?
There was something in a sig about flurry of blows :D.

Nope. I'll give you a hint though, it is a purely internet reference.
gullas
03-14-08, 12:40 PM " hey baby , I've got a +5 , keened , brilliant energy shortsword wich you can handle whole night long:D "
Zombie_Babies
03-14-08, 01:25 PM "Baby, you must not be a commoner...."

Her: :confused:

"Since you survived that fall(ing damage) from heaven...."
Dog_O_War
03-14-08, 01:29 PM 23. "I may be a halfling, but we get a size bonus to a bunch of things".

24. "I will lay-on-hands your axe-wound, and I assure you it will feel better instantly".

25. "My magic missiles never miss. Besides I can hit any spot with truestrike".

26. "Don't worry...If your boyfriend shows up, I'll just cast invisibility - as long as you consider my actions as aiding another".

27. "...I cast level 3 eroticism to turn you into a beautiful woman..." (second hint to said reference).
MrWildman
03-14-08, 02:04 PM 28. "Hey, wanna play Hide The Phylactry?"
wizard of Newfoundland
03-14-08, 02:32 PM 20. "...I put on my wizard's hat and robes..." (guess this incredibly obscure reference).

Ahh the legend of bloodninja, i don't know who wrote those but they deserve to be either clapped on the back or institutionalized
Zombie_Babies
03-14-08, 02:49 PM "Baby*, you must have that Endurance feat, 'cuz you been runnin' through my dreams all night...."

*It's not a proper pick up line if it doesn't start with "baby". :P
Dog_O_War
03-14-08, 03:25 PM Ahh the legend of bloodninja, i don't know who wrote those but they deserve to be either clapped on the back or institutionalized

Yay! someone got it!

29. "You must've laced my drink with a love potion because the enamored effect sure is kicking in".

30. "I saw you standing there, so I picked a fight with two hill giants. Now I'm tender all over, just for you.".

31. "I memorized charm person 20 times today. You're bound to fail once, so why don't you make this easy on yourself and have a drink with me".

32. "You must have a basilisk's gaze. Please don't take that the wrong way; I'm just saying that a part of me just failed its save versus petrification".

33. "How many ranks do you have in sense motive? None? Excellent. My name is..... unimportant, and I'd like to buy you a nice, friendly drink".
Eldritch_Lord
03-14-08, 10:28 PM Shamelessly stolen from a thread on monks:

34. "If you didn't have such a high AC, I'd hit that."

Also:

35. "Are you a high-level cleric? 'Cause you look absolutely divine."

36. "Yeah, I'm a bard...I can Perform all night. Let me take 20 and I'll prove it to you."

37. "I've got this really cool spell to show you...c'mere, it's Range: Touch."
navar100
03-14-08, 11:18 PM 38: I'm a warlock. I can do it all day long.

39: I'm a sorcerer. I'm spontaneous.

40: I'm a wizard, but I'll let you hold my staff.
ChaosWolf1982
03-15-08, 01:37 AM There's a girl t-shirt with two d20 with the 20 up on the chest. And under it the captation: "Yes, they are natural".

I know at least two girls who would love that shirt.
Ashlord
03-15-08, 02:19 AM Alright, this is actually working!

My contributions to my own thread:

(to a female barbarian) "Hi, nice cleavage..er, cleaving..." (Yes, taken from Order of the Stick, but it's so hard to avoid!)

"You know why Wild Shape lasts so long? No? Do you want to find out?..." (very odd, indeed)

"Do you know about Wild Surge?..."

"Baby, what's your Level Adjustment, 'cause you're no Random Encounter."

"I have proficiency with all my weapons..."

Keep em' rolling!
HopelesRomantc
03-15-08, 02:21 AM "Are you into kinky things, because I have 20 ranks in Use Rope."

"You can use my magic device anytime."
mathew99
03-15-08, 06:36 AM I can't believe no one ued this one yet:

"How about we go back to my house so you can master my dungeon."

"I've got a dragon, you got a dungeon?"
CastTiltowait
03-16-08, 03:49 AM #50- Wanna see my wand of wonder?

#51- Did I drink a potion of Bull's Strength? Close....

#52- I know a skill trick that's from the REAL Complete Scoundrel

#53- I've never heard it called that, but sure, I've got a "bastard sword, " I'd love to have you use it two-handed.

#54- I found Bigby's spell book from his frat boy days, there's a Hand spell in there I'd love to show you.

#55- Hey Baby, I hope your CR is 4 below my level, 'cause that would mean you'd be Very Easy.
Bhaelfur
03-16-08, 01:14 PM 56: Hey, baby, I see you have a riding dog... You'll have to show me how to ride doggy style.

57: I use psionics, I can undress you with my mind. Save me the trouble and undress for me, will you?
Aleolus
03-16-08, 02:22 PM (both Paladin lines)
"Hey, cleanest guy in town. ;)"

"Wanna see what my Special Mount's done below the belt?"
BarivusTheFearless
03-16-08, 03:08 PM GREATEST PICK-UP LINE EVER:
"Alexa! Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me."

Cookie if you get the reference.
navar100
03-16-08, 06:42 PM 62. Elderly female cleric to elderly male paladin: "Don't worry, dear, I can raise the dead."
Silverthumb
03-16-08, 11:20 PM 63. To hell with the dialogue, I'll just take 10 on my Diplomacy check.
Moviestar
03-16-08, 11:46 PM "You want some XP?"
navar100
03-17-08, 12:38 AM 65: You do realize that DM stands for Dungeon Master ...
Dog_O_War
03-17-08, 12:10 PM 66. "I have weapon focus(Pick-up Lines). That means I'm +1 to hit on you".

67. "I hear tell that love is blind. *Blindness!*".

68. "You can't be more than level 3. No, no - that's a good thing. It means your 18 charisma is natural, and that I've caught you flat-footed, so I can sweep you off your feet without drawing an attack of opportunity".
Mr_Seth
03-17-08, 04:10 PM 69. "Have ye got a little (insert race of speaker here) in you?"
*pause, wait for negative response*
"Would ye like some?"
Silverthumb
03-17-08, 04:19 PM 69. "Have ye got a little (insert race of speaker here) in you?"
*pause, wait for negative response*
"Would ye like some?"

Try that on a Mongrelfolk.

Or even better, a male Mongrelfolk saying that to a female Mongrelfolk.
navar100
03-17-08, 10:40 PM 70. I'm a halffling. You'll be amazed at what I can do standing up.
ChaosWolf1982
03-19-08, 06:43 PM 70. I'm a halffling. You'll be amazed at what I can do standing up.

Thread's over, you win, we can all go home now.
tyr_13
03-20-08, 12:10 AM 71. *t-shirt* I cast level 7 rock your world!

72. "I was already raised once today, but when you walked in it happened again."

73. "Yes, it's a two-handed weapon. And it has reach!"

74. "I've failed my hottie save, you can have me now."

75. "Tieflings always get the most tail."

76. "No need to roll for initiative hun, I'll always let you go first."

77. "I'm not a bard."

78. "You wanna develop some inter-species mating rituals?"

79. "Deekin does good, right master?"

80. "So do those get flanking bonuses?"

81. "I know my description says 'outsider' but I'd rather be 'insider' if you know what I mean."

82. "That's right, I have timeless body. It's better than a Bowflex."
navar100
03-20-08, 01:43 AM 83. I'm a centaur. You know, like a horse.
Eldritch_Lord
03-20-08, 01:45 PM A pickup line for fighters:

84. "Want to see my golf bag o' weapons? I've got a Medium +1 keen rapier wit, a Small +2 vorpal longsword to cut off any objections, and a Large +5 skillful greatsword to...you get the idea."
Corran132
03-20-08, 04:12 PM 85- Chaotic people have more fun

86- I'm True Neutral- I go both ways (I know, OOTS, I thought it had to be added)

87- 30 heads of state want me to be hung, and all 30 of their wives know I already am.

88- Did someone case "burning hands" on you because you're looking hot!

89- I'm an elf, the experince of 600 years and the vitality of 20.
Optimator
03-20-08, 11:26 PM 90: Damn, baby! I just failed a will-save!
ChaosWolf1982
03-21-08, 03:25 AM 85- Chaotic people have more fun

86- I'm True Neutral- I go both ways (I know, OOTS, I thought it had to be added)

87- 30 heads of state want me to be hung, and all 30 of their wives know I already am.

88- Did someone case "burning hands" on you because you're looking hot!

89- I'm an elf, the experince of 600 years and the vitality of 20.

That wins.
Corran132
03-25-08, 05:31 PM Thanks, I'll be signing autographs all week.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Ashlord 03-14-08, 12:30 AM	Okay, this may seem immature, but it's worth a shot. The lines can be ingame or outside of the game. Your choice. And try to not recycle jokes, at least without adding something. BEGIN!
ciaran 03-14-08, 01:44 AM	"Are those natural? Hem, er, ah... 20s I mean... Bye..." "Can I have +2 to hit that for a charge?"
pmurray@bigpond.com 03-14-08, 08:21 AM	Wanna see my pair of big d20's? or: I have icosahedral *********! Naah, that ain't going to work.
Edymnion 03-14-08, 08:35 AM	"Hey baby, wanna come up and see my +3 wand?" "I can use delay action all night long!" "I've got a Charisma of 23, max ranks and skill focus in Seduction, and I just rolled a 17. Are we doing it yet?"
ColonelPanic 03-14-08, 08:40 AM	(female) - Is that a mace inside your pants, or are you just pleased to see me? (male) - The name of the god of love is <insert name here>. I know you don't care right now, but you will be screaming the name all night. (male) - Come quick, hide under me, there is a dragon on the loose.
Silverclaw 03-14-08, 10:18 AM	something like this? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0244.html)
Naderion 03-14-08, 10:26 AM	"Are those natural? Hem, er, ah... 20s I mean... Bye..." "Can I have +2 to hit that for a charge?" There's a girl t-shirt with two d20 with the 20 up on the chest. And under it the captation: "Yes, they are natural".
WHW4 03-14-08, 11:45 AM	"Is that an immovable rod in your belt pouch, or are you just happy to see me?"
Gentlemanic 03-14-08, 12:04 PM	- Whooo, you look sweet.. I must have really nailed that spot check ;) - Baby, I know every page in the Player's handbook. - Hold me! (Roll a grapple check, I won't AoO..)
Dog_O_War 03-14-08, 12:21 PM	16. "I'm a wizard, and when I looked at you I detected magic all over". 17. "My knowledge: nature check tells me you are most certainly a Nymph". 18. "I know the spell enlarge person." 19. "So you say you have max ranks in ride? That's awsome because I just learned how to wear a saddle". 20. "...I put on my wizard's hat and robes..." (guess this incredibly obscure reference).
RPJesus 03-14-08, 12:35 PM	SNL? There was something in a sig about flurry of blows :D.
Dog_O_War 03-14-08, 12:39 PM	SNL? There was something in a sig about flurry of blows :D. Nope. I'll give you a hint though, it is a purely internet reference.
gullas 03-14-08, 12:40 PM	" hey baby , I've got a +5 , keened , brilliant energy shortsword wich you can handle whole night long:D "
Zombie_Babies 03-14-08, 01:25 PM	"Baby, you must not be a commoner...." Her: :confused: "Since you survived that fall(ing damage) from heaven...."
Dog_O_War 03-14-08, 01:29 PM	23. "I may be a halfling, but we get a size bonus to a bunch of things". 24. "I will lay-on-hands your axe-wound, and I assure you it will feel better instantly". 25. "My magic missiles never miss. Besides I can hit any spot with truestrike". 26. "Don't worry...If your boyfriend shows up, I'll just cast invisibility - as long as you consider my actions as aiding another". 27. "...I cast level 3 eroticism to turn you into a beautiful woman..." (second hint to said reference).
MrWildman 03-14-08, 02:04 PM	28. "Hey, wanna play Hide The Phylactry?"
wizard of Newfoundland 03-14-08, 02:32 PM	20. "...I put on my wizard's hat and robes..." (guess this incredibly obscure reference). Ahh the legend of bloodninja, i don't know who wrote those but they deserve to be either clapped on the back or institutionalized
Zombie_Babies 03-14-08, 02:49 PM	"Baby, you must have that Endurance feat, 'cuz you been runnin' through my dreams all night...." It's not a proper pick up line if it doesn't start with "baby". :P
Dog_O_War 03-14-08, 03:25 PM	Ahh the legend of bloodninja, i don't know who wrote those but they deserve to be either clapped on the back or institutionalized Yay! someone got it! 29. "You must've laced my drink with a love potion because the enamored effect sure is kicking in". 30. "I saw you standing there, so I picked a fight with two hill giants. Now I'm tender all over, just for you.". 31. "I memorized charm person 20 times today. You're bound to fail once, so why don't you make this easy on yourself and have a drink with me". 32. "You must have a basilisk's gaze. Please don't take that the wrong way; I'm just saying that a part of me just failed its save versus petrification". 33. "How many ranks do you have in sense motive? None? Excellent. My name is..... unimportant, and I'd like to buy you a nice, friendly drink".
Eldritch_Lord 03-14-08, 10:28 PM	Shamelessly stolen from a thread on monks: 34. "If you didn't have such a high AC, I'd hit that." Also: 35. "Are you a high-level cleric? 'Cause you look absolutely divine." 36. "Yeah, I'm a bard...I can Perform all night. Let me take 20 and I'll prove it to you." 37. "I've got this really cool spell to show you...c'mere, it's Range: Touch."
navar100 03-14-08, 11:18 PM	38: I'm a warlock. I can do it all day long. 39: I'm a sorcerer. I'm spontaneous. 40: I'm a wizard, but I'll let you hold my staff.
ChaosWolf1982 03-15-08, 01:37 AM	There's a girl t-shirt with two d20 with the 20 up on the chest. And under it the captation: "Yes, they are natural". I know at least two girls who would love that shirt.
Ashlord 03-15-08, 02:19 AM	Alright, this is actually working! My contributions to my own thread: (to a female barbarian) "Hi, nice cleavage..er, cleaving..." (Yes, taken from Order of the Stick, but it's so hard to avoid!) "You know why Wild Shape lasts so long? No? Do you want to find out?..." (very odd, indeed) "Do you know about Wild Surge?..." "Baby, what's your Level Adjustment, 'cause you're no Random Encounter." "I have proficiency with all my weapons..." Keep em' rolling!
HopelesRomantc 03-15-08, 02:21 AM	"Are you into kinky things, because I have 20 ranks in Use Rope." "You can use my magic device anytime."
mathew99 03-15-08, 06:36 AM	I can't believe no one ued this one yet: "How about we go back to my house so you can master my dungeon." "I've got a dragon, you got a dungeon?"
CastTiltowait 03-16-08, 03:49 AM	#50- Wanna see my wand of wonder? #51- Did I drink a potion of Bull's Strength? Close.... #52- I know a skill trick that's from the REAL Complete Scoundrel #53- I've never heard it called that, but sure, I've got a "bastard sword, " I'd love to have you use it two-handed. #54- I found Bigby's spell book from his frat boy days, there's a Hand spell in there I'd love to show you. #55- Hey Baby, I hope your CR is 4 below my level, 'cause that would mean you'd be Very Easy.
Bhaelfur 03-16-08, 01:14 PM	56: Hey, baby, I see you have a riding dog... You'll have to show me how to ride doggy style. 57: I use psionics, I can undress you with my mind. Save me the trouble and undress for me, will you?
Aleolus 03-16-08, 02:22 PM	(both Paladin lines) "Hey, cleanest guy in town. ;)" "Wanna see what my Special Mount's done below the belt?"
BarivusTheFearless 03-16-08, 03:08 PM	GREATEST PICK-UP LINE EVER: "Alexa! Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me." Cookie if you get the reference.
navar100 03-16-08, 06:42 PM	62. Elderly female cleric to elderly male paladin: "Don't worry, dear, I can raise the dead."
Silverthumb 03-16-08, 11:20 PM	63. To hell with the dialogue, I'll just take 10 on my Diplomacy check.
Moviestar 03-16-08, 11:46 PM	"You want some XP?"
navar100 03-17-08, 12:38 AM	65: You do realize that DM stands for Dungeon Master ...
Dog_O_War 03-17-08, 12:10 PM	66. "I have weapon focus(Pick-up Lines). That means I'm +1 to hit on you". 67. "I hear tell that love is blind. Blindness!". 68. "You can't be more than level 3. No, no - that's a good thing. It means your 18 charisma is natural, and that I've caught you flat-footed, so I can sweep you off your feet without drawing an attack of opportunity".
Mr_Seth 03-17-08, 04:10 PM	69. "Have ye got a little (insert race of speaker here) in you?" pause, wait for negative response "Would ye like some?"
Silverthumb 03-17-08, 04:19 PM	69. "Have ye got a little (insert race of speaker here) in you?" pause, wait for negative response "Would ye like some?" Try that on a Mongrelfolk. Or even better, a male Mongrelfolk saying that to a female Mongrelfolk.
navar100 03-17-08, 10:40 PM	70. I'm a halffling. You'll be amazed at what I can do standing up.
ChaosWolf1982 03-19-08, 06:43 PM	70. I'm a halffling. You'll be amazed at what I can do standing up. Thread's over, you win, we can all go home now.
tyr_13 03-20-08, 12:10 AM	71. t-shirt I cast level 7 rock your world! 72. "I was already raised once today, but when you walked in it happened again." 73. "Yes, it's a two-handed weapon. And it has reach!" 74. "I've failed my hottie save, you can have me now." 75. "Tieflings always get the most tail." 76. "No need to roll for initiative hun, I'll always let you go first." 77. "I'm not a bard." 78. "You wanna develop some inter-species mating rituals?" 79. "Deekin does good, right master?" 80. "So do those get flanking bonuses?" 81. "I know my description says 'outsider' but I'd rather be 'insider' if you know what I mean." 82. "That's right, I have timeless body. It's better than a Bowflex."
navar100 03-20-08, 01:43 AM	83. I'm a centaur. You know, like a horse.
Eldritch_Lord 03-20-08, 01:45 PM	A pickup line for fighters: 84. "Want to see my golf bag o' weapons? I've got a Medium +1 keen rapier wit, a Small +2 vorpal longsword to cut off any objections, and a Large +5 skillful greatsword to...you get the idea."
Corran132 03-20-08, 04:12 PM	85- Chaotic people have more fun 86- I'm True Neutral- I go both ways (I know, OOTS, I thought it had to be added) 87- 30 heads of state want me to be hung, and all 30 of their wives know I already am. 88- Did someone case "burning hands" on you because you're looking hot! 89- I'm an elf, the experince of 600 years and the vitality of 20.
Optimator 03-20-08, 11:26 PM	90: Damn, baby! I just failed a will-save!
ChaosWolf1982 03-21-08, 03:25 AM	85- Chaotic people have more fun 86- I'm True Neutral- I go both ways (I know, OOTS, I thought it had to be added) 87- 30 heads of state want me to be hung, and all 30 of their wives know I already am. 88- Did someone case "burning hands" on you because you're looking hot! 89- I'm an elf, the experince of 600 years and the vitality of 20. That wins.
Corran132 03-25-08, 05:31 PM	Thanks, I'll be signing autographs all week.