Post/Author/DateTime	Post
LordHawkeye 08-08-06, 10:19 PM	Name says it all. Mine are pretty good but my friend's brothers are loaded with good ones. 1. Wishing to the eefrit "I wish I was the most dexterous person in the party." Whole party turned to stone... He had a fun time dragging them all back to town. 2. Was doing that encounter where you had to find the five iron statues concealing keys among the iron golems who'd come alive and attack you in a room filling with flammable gas and a floor of flint. One of his PC's charged the golem while wearing full metal armor. Skrik! BOOM! Dead... 3. Beat down a lich, tied him to their cart, dragged him down the road all the way back to town and had a nice bonfire. oops, forgot to destroy the phylactery! They had an uninvited guest one night who was pretty ****** off at them... Edit: gah! Meant to post this in the DM forum. Feel free to move if you deem appropriate
Silmon 08-08-06, 10:24 PM	look at my signature :D This happened back in 2nd ed and we still laugh about it to this day 15 yrs later.
realms_between_reality 08-14-06, 08:05 PM	This is great. in a homespun campaign I created a gem of a powerful necromancer, and if anyone other than the necromancer touches it, it causes everyone within a 200ft radius to make a fort save dc 25 or die (the characters know about the gem). The group found the gem in a rotting ship hidden in an underground lake..... DM: You step inside the dank interior of the ship. there are many skeletons lying about, all having appeared to die very suddenly. One even has the remnants of a broom in his hands, having appeared to die instantly. in the corner, is a large treasure chest, lying open. A skeleton lies near the chest, with a large green gem clutched in his hands. PC 1: Whew! This must be the gem we were sent to find! Alright everyone be careful! We don't know what power's this has.... PC 2 (A noob, his character the only one near the chest): Yeah Yeah, careful. we have it now! I pick up the gem and put it in my backpack! But I do it carefully!! DM (Nearly in tears): OH GOD!!
Leibel 08-14-06, 09:27 PM	Level 6 Ranger challenging a Level 8 Fighter/Level 4 Aristocrat NPC to a man - vs - man duel to the death. I felt like an exuctioner.
Shadow Chancellor 08-14-06, 09:35 PM	My PCs started a forest fire... and forgot to get out of the forest first.
LordQuazk 08-14-06, 09:36 PM	They were on a mission to protect this train (because trains are cool) against some random evil people and make sure it reaches its destination safely. They dispatched the enemies easily. The party's mage decides to cast Flaming Sphere on the train's engine car. The PC's are not only trying to protect the train, but are standing on top of it. As if that wasn't enough, when the train rolled a natural 20 on its reflex save, they tried to argue that trains don't get reflex saves.
mathew99 08-14-06, 10:50 PM	y shouldn't trains get reflex saves???
LordQuazk 08-14-06, 11:08 PM	y shouldn't trains get reflex saves??? That's what I said. They argued that the train is running on a set course with no way to escape. they *should* get reflex saves because: A) They're an attended object. Everyone knows attended objects can use their holder's reflex save. The holder would be the conductor in this case, and anyone who rolls a natural 20 on a reflex save is supposed to succeed no matter what. right? B) The 20 could mean that the train hit a copper piece on the track, jumped in the air over the flaming sphere, and landed safely back on the tracks. C) The mystical magical DM says so. :D
Delfedd 08-15-06, 12:20 AM	MeSo you enter the room housing the gladiatorial animals. There's a griffon, Deinonichus, minotaur, and two ogres. Player So the guard had a set of keys? Me Yeah, you took them. Player I open the cages. Granted, I probably shouldn't have put such powerful monsters in the first level dungeon. Then, because they needed more firepower to fight off the monsters, I threw the Sword of Kas at them. Hey... first adventure I made! And I didn't want my friends to get frustrated.
cloudncali 08-15-06, 01:50 AM	ok we had an evil Palidin(i dont play by the rules, BITE ME) He was poisond by a spiter. when we got to town and a prist healed him. the prist wanted five gold. the Palidin says ok i will pay you. and stabs the prist. long story short we had the villagers in a mob attacking use. the main reson he did this was cuse we where alrety wanted in the empire
J_Anne 08-15-06, 03:22 AM	ok.. my cousins, brother, stepdad, aunt and i were playing a low-level game, my aunt was DMing. i was an elven rogue, brother was a human fighter dunno who else was what but there was a cleric, ranger, mage, and another fighter, half-elves elves and humans. we had finished a long, hard journey over plains, thru forests, over mountains, through goblin caves.. it was basically the end of the current quest and we came upon a couple of treasure chests, some bags of loot, the Big Quest Item etc. i successfully de-trapped and unlocked everything, and we were examining what we'd discovered. so my brother decides his character Salvatore is going to go look at the big bag of gems in the corner. this is what happened. (please keep in mind my brother is about ten at the time) Salvatore: I pick up a gem. DM: ok..? Salvatore: What color is it? DM: (randomly picks a color) umm.. Red. Salvatore: i hold the gem up like this (indicates with his 20-sided held pinched between forefinger and thumb) and say "Fire!" DM: (rolls some dice behind the screen) nothing happens. Salvatore: i drop it and get another. what color is it? DM: yellow. Salvatore: i hold it up and say "lightning!" DM: (rolls some more dice) nothing happens. .... this continues on for like seven more colors.. blue is water, brown is like earthquake, etc. during this i go over and pluck up a couple of black gems and use my jeweler skillz to determine that they are quite valuable... Salvatore: i drop it and pick up another. what color is it? DM: White. Salvatore: I hold it up and say "Light!" DM: (rolling dice) everyone, you are all blinded by and incredibly bright light emanating from the gem that Salvatore has held up. what do you do? Salvatore: I hold it up and say "Light Off!" DM: the gem stops glowing but the room is still incredibly bright. Me: i hold up one of my black gems like he did and say "Dark!" DM: (rolls) nothing happens. Me: I do it again with another one. DM: (rolls, pauses, rolls different dice) the blinding brightness seems to blink off. you are all left with the sensation one gets when they turn the lights off after nightfall. after a few rounds your vision returns. Those of you with night vision will need to wait a few more rounds before that capability will return. i later stole the Light gem from Salvatore while he slept while i was on guard. needless to say this has caused a massive inside joke within those of us who were playing.. when i got spiffy gem-resembling dice for christmas, my cousin immediately picked the clear one up and yelled "Light!"
Mordent_Sage 08-15-06, 04:35 AM	My players, bless their little cotton socks, got themselves stuck in a city under martial law (there was a nearby war heating up, the city didn't want spys/sabateurs getting in or out). The party was understandably upset - they had an adventure to be getting on with! The best way out, they determined, was the harbour. I'd set things up (and given them maps etc from their scouting) for a subtle, cloak and dagger raid. I thought they'd distract everyone with fires etc, steal a ship and slip out. But no. Players never do what any sane person would. There was a guard ship anchored in the middle of the harbour, placed there to run down any ships attempting to break martial law. It had been keeping a low profile - unmarked, supply runs and personnel moved at night, etc. The players saw this, and cleared several conculsions from a standing start. "A-ha!", they said, "They must be smugglers! It's the only possible explanation! And of course, such criminals will help us without question, rather than turning us over to the authorities for a reward!". So two of the characters hired a rowboat and rowed out to the ship. They asked the person who answered their shouts if they could help them get out the city. The man replied, "So, you want to break martial law?". "Yes please!", the players replied, sure that the nice 'smuggler' would help them now. "Well," said the man, gesturing for crossbowmen, "I'm a captain of the guard, and you're under arrest." The resulting blagging, lying and slightly paniked fast thinking and running around ('cos no one likes martial law punishments) involved fifty pounds of tea, an imaginary plague and a damn good combined Heal/Bluff roll from one of the players. From then on, the party always had tea - they drank it all the time, gave it away, used it to start fires, bribed people with it (doesn't work) and, above all, had to carry it. As they said, "We payed for the damn stuff, we're gonna use it!"
Jutter 08-15-06, 06:59 AM	Osby (the party's first level halfling rogue): I charge the ogre. DM: The one that braced itself last round, seizing up the situation? Osby: Yeah! One readied attack AND an attack of opportunity later (I managed to roll a one on the first attack roll), Osby became a substantial part of the ogre's greatclub.
DoomSquirrel718 08-15-06, 07:03 AM	I did not have the fortune of participating in this game but my friends speak of it frequently. 14) DM: As you come to the end of the forest road you spot a gazebo in a clearing Player: I hide in the bushes! DM:o..k...? its just a gazebo.... Player:What is it doing? DM:??? nothing, its a gazebo... Player:I jump out of the bushes and try to scare it! ooga booga booga! What happens? DM: NOTHING HAPPENS, ITS A GAZEBO!!! Player:I poke it with my sword, what happens? DM:FINE!! THE GAZEBO GODS STRIKE YOU DOWN ROLL A NEW CHARACTER!!! I don't know if the DM actually killed off the character so no posts about harsh DMs please.
zvbxrpl 08-15-06, 08:55 AM	DM (me): You find on the dead drow a spider carved out of obsidian, with a precious ruby set in the head. (read: unholy symbol of Lolth) Halfling Rogue: I could totally get lots of gold for this back in town! Elf Druid: No way! I'm getting that and selling it for myself. :mad: DM: Think. It's an ornate carved spider that you found on a spellcasting drow. Rogue: So? DM: The town you're heading back to is a high elven city! Druid: So what? I tell my wolf to make a trip attempt so I can snatch it away. *rolls* Sweet! It's mine now, shorty! Rogue: That's it! I challenge you to a duel to first blood, winner gets the spider! DM: :banghead:
capeMyrmidon 08-15-06, 10:55 AM	my friend playing a warforged before they came out with it on paper, goes bashing through doors in an aly for the hell of it. he claims hes not evil "ok how many children are behind the door"
frasmage 08-15-06, 01:11 PM	Well, my players where not exactly bright at first :rolleyes:... Anyways, in our groups very first campaign, when we came accross a fire elemental and none of our spells or attacks seemed to be harming it (we must have been 2nd or 3rd level only). we found a single scroll of energy resistance nearby. Our party wizard, (who was all out of spells, btw) does the brilliant task of attempting to use it on himself (and not the more capable fighters) and even worse... he said he was casting protection against COLD!!!!!! :banghead:
CTHUHLU_THE_GROOVY 08-15-06, 01:14 PM	Home Brew Adventure, Player had split up from group to take fork in path. Josh (Paladin lvl1) (after entering large cavern): I proceed cautiously along, looking for traps. Me (DM) Alright. Make a spot check. Josh: Sweet! A 20!! Me: cool, You notice a thin tripwire running along the cavern. (Not actual descriptions) Josh: I cut it!! (fails ref save) Me: You take(rolls)11 points of damage. If I'm right that gnoll's axe cut had you down to 8 hp so... Josh is not the brightest player.
savant_warlord13 08-15-06, 07:52 PM	19 Telling an elder fire elemental to cleanse itself in holy water. At level 4.
gamricstonecaller 08-29-06, 11:19 AM	:D I have a Elf that accidently called a Dwarf King a ELF king and then ran out of the throne room.needless to say he didn't make it back full of spears.how futile and stupid. Ray Gamricstonecaller :rolleyes:
Xagunder 08-29-06, 11:46 AM	Yesterday the players I've been DMing for for around 7 years floored me with what may be the dumbest action I've seen in all my years. They were exploring a dungeon a mile below the campaign's major city when they came upon a cavern with a heavy animal smell and several passages leading out. They did not search the room. They picked a random passage and followed it. I described it twisting and climbing for a long ways several times, but they just kept following it. It eventually opened up into the basement of an abandoned tennament in the vast city above the dungeon. Looking outside, they discovered that it was late afternoon, and after the long hike up, they were tired, so decided to rest. Halfway back down the tunnel!? Without posting any guards!? So, while they could have left the slums to return to their already paid up inn rooms, the PCs went to sleep on cold, hard rocks in a tunnel below the city, and were killed by two of the dungeon's denizens that had watched from hiding as these people skipped through their room below...
Quixotico 08-29-06, 12:54 PM	The player in my group who suffers from D&DADD plays a figher... Him: I rage! Me: You're not a barbarian! Eric's the barbarian. Him: Fine, then I cleave. Me: You haven't even attacked yet. Him: Fine, I attack. *rolls and misses* Him: I rage and cleave. Me: :banghead:
Bob_The_Wizard 08-29-06, 02:00 PM	Have any of you ever heard of The head of Vecna (http://users.tkk.fi/~vesanto/link.fun/stupid.pcs.html)?
OctoberRaven 08-29-06, 03:02 PM	Not D&D, but in an L5R game we played, we went into the Dragon clan territories, and met with the daimyo. The two Dragon players kneel. I kneel, the Lion player kneels. The phoenix shugenja bows. After pointing out he should have at least figured he should kneel because THE DRAGON PLAYERS DID SO TOO, we also noted that any other Daimyo would have struck him down where he stood. And the character was supposed to be the genius of the party...
frasmage 08-29-06, 04:30 PM	Well, my players were recently requested to guard an imprtant NPC conference. The paladin (who is a celebrity in the town for his deeds and loves being the hero) was posted in one of the surrounding alleys. Despite constant little hints that he was being watched/there was someone there, he decided to follow a merchant who wanted the honor of having a celebrity purchase something from his shop. So while he is haggling over expensive extraplanar wine, the conference is raided, via the alleys the pally was supposed to watch, and most of the nobles are killed (I might also add that the party sorc thought it would be a good idea to use tons of fireballs within a noble's house)! So, the paladin loses most of his standing within the city and many people now hate him for forgetting his duties (way to think with your stomac! :D) and the sorc is taken prisonner for damage to property, vandalism and assault (he hit a couple people :rofl:).