Post/Author/DateTime	Post
darkdragonk 12-17-06, 12:02 AM	1. Get *wered by an oger any more
Seghan 12-17-06, 12:38 AM	2. Natural 1 on a Tumble check while clowning around on a balcony in Sharn.
TheYeti1775 12-17-06, 12:38 AM	2nd Level Rogue 1 / Wizard 1 Killed by Critical of the "Ninja" normal rat.
andinel 12-17-06, 01:08 AM	Killed by your own party member (a cleric nonetheless) while trying to kill the dire weasel attached to you and rolling a natural 1, hitting you instead of the weasel.
TheChilliGod 12-17-06, 01:36 AM	Gettin' killed by a pack of lizards is sometimes rather embarrassing. Gettin' killed by a single squirrel is always embarrassing. (Triple-20) Gettin' killed by a soggy carrot (hurled by a fellow PC), however, tops the cake on embarrassment my gaming friends have suffered. (Triple-20)
Izodor_Shadowcaster 12-17-06, 02:29 AM	not succeeding on a swim check.
sinrae_kinesti 12-17-06, 04:35 AM	once i was carrying 25 vials of alchemist fire and 25 viles of acid and was slammed by an animated table causing them all to go off simultaneously. I was a paladin and wanted to have extra fire power in the event i needed it, turns out it was my undoing. it did destroy the table though.
sinrae_kinesti 12-17-06, 04:37 AM	oh and one more. defeating the main bad guy and being poked by a kobold (happened to a monk i DMed for once)
journeyman777 12-17-06, 05:44 AM	Getting caught in the area of your own spell. Jumping out the window before checking to see what floor you're on. (has actually happened) Getting killed by a cantrip. I killed a BBEG with a bottle of brandy once (he had 1 hp left, I chucked it at him, rolled a 1 for damage, the room was on fire:evillaugh ) that was pretty embarassing. Narrowly defeating an undead foe and then drinking their "healing" potions (Inflict x Wounds):evillaugh
CryoSilver 12-17-06, 11:26 AM	17: Escaping the collapsing dungeon after an epic battle, with a chest of powerful magical items, only to be ambushed by a rogue who Ray of Frosts you in the face for 1d3+5d6 damage.
I'm not a fanatic 12-17-06, 11:35 AM	Getting cut in half by the Tarrasque (when you thought you could go toe-to-toe with it, of course) in round 1.
Chaos Theory 12-17-06, 11:37 AM	Drowning in a huge vat of whipped cream
frasmage 12-17-06, 11:53 AM	executed after accidentally having a noble caught in the area of your spell. getting pushed off a cliff running over an illusionary bridge Attempting to clear a path of porcupine cacti (Sandstorm). One of my PCs did this, severely wounding most of the PCs and killing their only guide through the forest :D
Bowmore 12-17-06, 12:34 PM	Standing up after falling prone in the middle of a group of enemies, thinking "My AC is high enough!" It wasn't.
smiths_0 12-17-06, 12:48 PM	26, getting killed by the unarmed attack of a goblin commoner
Tolby 12-17-06, 12:55 PM	Baby owlbears
smeagol_lied 12-17-06, 01:52 PM	Happened today: The party ranger got shoved by the fighter into a giant swinging axe trap. The ranger only just survived, with 7 hp. The ranger barely got out alive, and the fighter charged and leap attacked him. She rolled a 1, her sword got hit by the axe and flew up and stuck to the ceiling. The ranger then set upon her witha pair of flaming longswords. She tried to unarmed strike him, he hit with an attack of oppurtunity, in total he reduced her hp from 71 to 29. She hit with her unarmed strike and knocked him unconscious. Then the left him behind. At the end of a corridor of swinging axes.
frasmage 12-17-06, 02:14 PM	Oh this happened to a new player once. There was a well outside, one of the 1-st level PCs got curious. He fell in, and then rolled consecutive crappy swim checks and drowned. That was before the new player had gotten to their first encounter even! The DM that session (forget who it was) was feeling fairly mean apparently... On my very first encounter ever, an assassin jumped out of the shadows on round one, crited and knocked my 1st-level bard unconcious. Luckily my DM had more pitty than the one above and decided to put me at -9 instead of dead. yep dying on your first ever encounter to sheer dumb luck is pretty embarassing.
General_Ridley 12-17-06, 02:23 PM	suffocation/laceration in a chandelier (see sig)
Cryforge 12-17-06, 02:27 PM	30. Scorching Ray to the face! (This happened to one of my characters...can't say he didn't deserve it, though.) 31. Death by skiurid. (They are the shadow squirrels from MM4. There could be nothing worse than your eulogy containing the words, "He was a good man, a good man taken from this world by evil squirrels.")
TriOmegaZero 12-17-06, 03:13 PM	32. The druid charging the troll who just wandered into camp, to receive a claw-claw-rend that did exactly enough damage to drop her to -10. She became one with the forest. All over. 33. The ranger and fighter both getting an AoO on the fleeing enemy, and the fighter rolling a 1 and slagging the ranger, allowing that damn ninja goblin to get away. 34. Getting chased down by the DM's uber-Relic/Alien/Starship Troopers brainbug monster and having it suck your characters brains out like a slushie. 35. 1st Warlock flying over the enemy, the 5th Wizard forgot where he was and cast fireball.
darkdragonk 12-17-06, 04:27 PM	Getting pushed into a pit with 3 squirrls. 1st round squirll roling triple 20 and clawing your brains out( really happened):weep:
darkdragonk 12-17-06, 04:28 PM	[QUOTE=darkdragonk;10936401]Getting pushed into a pit with 3 squirrls. 1st round squirll roling triple 20 and clawing your brains out( really happened):weep:[/haha ]
Ashok_Lal 12-17-06, 10:23 PM	Getting cut in half by the Tarrasque (when you thought you could go toe-to-toe with it, of course) in round 1. The embaracing part is that you thought you could go toe-to-toe with the Tarrasque
Rajaat 12-18-06, 04:22 AM	Opening a tomb full of jewelry after solving a puzzle. Problem was, it was the tomb of an old Vampire, with "hold person" by sight. Every one makes it for the exit of the room (fast), but has to pass a trapped corridor with a sleep gas trap. We were aware of the trap, we had just triggered it, but the corridor was still full of gas. We just tried our luck to escape. Every one of the 6 players failed the save. :(
Nived 12-18-06, 11:28 AM	This one didn't happen to me but I was at the game table when it happened. 38: Dwarf uses his magic cloak to fly over a pit of lava to get to the Noble Salamander. Noble Salamander casts Dispell Magic. Dwarf goes head first into lava.
Ebrion 12-18-06, 12:05 PM	The first encounter with a 10th lvl Bar Bar. I roll 2 nat 1s and get crited by the frost giant. My DM Uses a variant for command. As long as it is one word it is ok. So while i was surrounded by orcs, a shaman used command- undress. And then command-masturbate. Yes my DM is a sick sadistic man.:ghosted:
frasmage 12-18-06, 12:35 PM	My DM Uses a variant for command. As long as it is one word it is ok. So while i was surrounded by orcs, a shaman used command- undress. And then command-masturbate. Yes my DM is a sick sadistic man.:ghosted: :uh-huh: oh god, your DM is twisted :uh-huh: PS: provoking AoOs I guess?
SeptimusMagistos 12-18-06, 06:06 PM	40. Having rubber ducks rain on you.
psilontech 12-18-06, 06:52 PM	Lvl 12 Wizard running from a fairly large city, most of the city guard behind him, having killed a frell of a lot of them with my illegal magic... Anyway, I got caught in the chest by an 8 year old girl with a rake, flipping mid-air, and landing on my neck, snapping it instantly. (She rolled 3 20's in a row) :( heheh
LiefKarakse 12-18-06, 06:58 PM	Lvl 12 Wizard running from a fairly large city, most of the city guard behind him, having killed a frell of a lot of them with my illegal magic... Anyway, I got caught in the chest by an 8 year old girl with a rake, flipping mid-air, and landing on my neck, snapping it instantly. (She rolled 3 20's in a row) :( heheh how would an 8 year old girl slay a level 12 wizard? even rolling triple twenties, it couldnt feasably knock you over. That would be like walking up and hitting a redwood once with a butterknife. it doesnt matter how hard I hit it, im comparatively two inches tall.
Grod_The_Giant 12-18-06, 08:26 PM	triple-20 is an instant kill
Regular_K 12-18-06, 09:08 PM	Standing up after falling prone in the middle of a group of enemies, thinking "My AC is high enough!" It wasn't. Wow! That's happened to me before. I was knocked prone from a group of zombies, and then when I tried to get up, they ALL hit me. I was kind of sad because I tried to max out my armor class.
Regular_K 12-18-06, 09:14 PM	Being killed by having a brick fall on your head. Being killed by a cat. (Yes, the cat v. commoner thread.)
Thunder Rift 12-18-06, 09:15 PM	My party was imorisoned and were doomed to die in a gladitorial arena. Well we found a dagger and knew that the guards would find it on us but we desperatley needed a weapon. One character decided he would try to hide it in his abdomen! The DM ruled that this would be treated as a coux de gras attack on himself, if he survived we could wrap his wound tight and the dagger would be hidden. He didn't survive.
heardfamily 12-18-06, 09:57 PM	Gettin' killed by a single squirrel is always embarrassing. (Triple-20) 31. Death by skiurid. (They are the shadow squirrels from MM4. There could be nothing worse than your eulogy containing the words, "He was a good man, a good man taken from this world by evil squirrels.") Getting pushed into a pit with 3 squirrls. 1st round squirll roling triple 20 and clawing your brains out( really happened):weep: Gee, has anyone else noticed that squirrels are a force to be reckoned with? I'll go and hide from squirrels now...actually, I had a terrifying idea - considering they are so powerful, imagine the Realms or Ebberon - ruled by squirrels!
Dark Stryke 12-18-06, 10:26 PM	The first time a friend of mine played, he made a Halfling Monk. This is how it played out: 6 level one PCs VS an Ogre and 2 goblins. Shouldn't have been too hard, especially since the then-current DM had way overpowered the PCs. So, initiative is rolled and the Ogre is going first. He charges the monk, who happens to be the closest target. Swings his club. Natural twenty, followed by a confirmed crit for max damage on the monk who had 10HP. The monk was then just a bloody smear on the Ogre's club. Then, the party goes to town on the ogre, bringing it down to 3HP in one round. The dead Monk's freakin' DOG kills it, with another lucky crit. So, we have a monk who died in his first round of combat as a PC, only to have his dog, one that wasn't trained for battle in any way, kill the thing that killed him.
DraconsNighthawk 12-18-06, 10:39 PM	DM not liking player insulting his favorite god, said god smites and kills level 4 CG character. Cause you just know Torm does that stuff.
Gopher 12-18-06, 10:45 PM	Anyone else notice that this thread is one long compilation of reasons why critical fumbles and instant-kill criticals shouldn't be implemented in games?
grok_grok 12-19-06, 12:39 AM	A Halfing being pelted with arrows after your Orc buddy picks you up and uses you as a shield. Also never try to use Alchemy Fire to lit a smoke, or a torch, or a house, or a dog, or the dogs owner, or the guards, just don't play with Alchemy Fire if your a Barbarian with an int. of 3, never seems to work in your favour.
skywyze 12-19-06, 01:13 AM	Killed by your own party member (a cleric nonetheless) while trying to kill the dire weasel attached to you and rolling a natural 1, hitting you instead of the weasel.That actually happened to my level 6 gray elf cleric! Dire weasel jumped out from a bag in the kobold lair and the barbarian, trying to get it off me, ended up killing me. Sad too, she was an awesome character.
Tintagel 12-19-06, 01:29 AM	Falling into a "pit" that's actually an opened portable hole... and you have a bag of holding.... :evillaugh OR Falling into another pit, which has a portable hole at the bottom, filled with water. A kobold is readying an action to yank the hole as soon as someone falls in, then runs scurrying into 2' tunnels while you slowly drown in a dark, inter-dimensional space.... :surrender OR You and 5 other min-maxed 9th level characters take 72d8 fire damage as 12 Half-Dragon stirges flutter down and breathe simultaneously on your group... And you didn't see them coming cause you didn't beat their +18 hide check... Average damage is 324 points, 162 if you make all your saves... only CR 10!! :gah: Half-Red Dragon Stirges (12): HD: 1d12+4 (10 hp), Init: +4, Speed: fly 40 ft, AC: 20 (+2 size, +4 Dex, +4 natural); BAB/Grapple: +1/-7 (+5 when attached); Attack: Touch +7 melee (attach); Full Attack: Touch +7 melee (attach), 2 claws +7 melee (d2); Space/reach: 2.5 / 0 ft SA: Breath Weapon (6d8, Ref DC 13 for ½ damage), attach, blood drain (d4 Con) SQ: Immune to Fire, Darkvision, low-light vision; Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Wil +1; Str 11, Dex 19, Con 12, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 8; Skills: Hide +18, Listen +5, Spot +5; Feats: Ability Focus (breath), Weapon Finesse CR 3.
IdleAltruism 12-19-06, 01:41 AM	Getting taken down by the goblin grappling team and coup de graced.
SageBahamut 12-19-06, 01:44 AM	Those stirges aren't as bad as my friend's Revenge-o-Matic. Kobold Dire-Were-Weasel Vampire Adept2/Warrior 2. Total CR? 6. It can attach for something like 1d6+2d4 CON DRAIN! :surrender:
Nihzlet 12-19-06, 03:46 AM	i was running a game once where the party(at low level) happened to be investigating a cave. a ravine ran through the cave and had a bridge over it; currently, an ogre was chucking spears across the ravine at the party. so the barbarian decides to jump across the ravine to attack the ogre, seeing as the bridge looks questionable. said ogre gets an AoO, gores him with a spear, and then, as his reach extends over the ravine, shucks him off into the pit. this was after earlier in the session where telling his character "dont charge ogres" had already become an in-joke for a very similar reason. jumping was close enough :P
Kargush 12-19-06, 05:25 AM	How about getting trampled to death by a mob of angry commoners? Happened to a rogue I played. I think we were around 10th level... :( Another character of mine was killed by a vampire reaping mauler... That was evil of the DM... And stupid of me...
vardock 12-19-06, 10:45 AM	my dwarven fighter and a friends rogue went thorought what we thought was were lead to believe was a portal to a very bad place. It turned out to be a magic item made by the Dm called a Mirror of Oblivian (I hope I spelled that right). try to be heroic and save the preaty gal that fled into the Mirror she "Knew" was lethal, and wind up- beyond resserection without divine intervention.
Tintagel 12-19-06, 11:05 AM	Killed by your own party member (a cleric nonetheless) while trying to kill the dire weasel attached to you and rolling a natural 1, hitting you instead of the weasel. http://www.cruisegazing.com/RPG_Motivational/weasels.jpg
journeyman777 12-19-06, 11:07 AM	Gee, has anyone else noticed that squirrels are a force to be reckoned with?I always wondered why my friend's character sheet listed "ring of invisibility to squirrels". Now I know. Death by caltrop.
jeffepp 12-19-06, 11:16 AM	not succeeding on a swim check. while wearing a skirt (kilt) and holding another man's pants. It's been over a decade, and it's still funny.
Mindolin 12-19-06, 11:29 AM	1st level paladin got killed by a 2nd level half-orc bard. Sleep spell, she failed, he cut her throat. She still has an intense distrust of bards. Also, the Bard only had a Charisma score of 13, after taking into account the racial penalty.
Sphyre 12-19-06, 02:25 PM	1. Get *wered by an oger any more brain implosion from reading incorrect spelling on the forums. So, in all seriousness, what the :censored: were you trying to say?
Karasuko 12-19-06, 03:57 PM	One of my fellow gamers once tried to disable a trap while heavily intoxicated... it wasn't a pretty sight. :doh: We resurrected him, but the silly rogue never learns. :rolleyes: At least my Bard has a new funny story! :D
heardfamily 12-19-06, 04:19 PM	I always wondered why my friend's character sheet listed "ring of invisibility to squirrels". Now I know. It certainly would appear a wise move!
Anomen 12-19-06, 07:47 PM	Killed by a Weremoth. Not kidding. The players woke up with little probosci-holes in them for weeks.
Karasuko 12-19-06, 08:31 PM	Killed by a Weremoth. Not kidding. The players woke up with little probosci-holes in them for weeks. Eeeps! Now that's scary! :eek: (Insects and my characters never get along :hides: )
Daeren 12-19-06, 09:00 PM	Step one: get carried off by a black dragon. Step two: Have the dragon turn you into a woman. Step three: get raped to death. Literally. I still hate my old DM for that...
Karasuko 12-19-06, 09:17 PM	Step one: get carried off by a black dragon. Step two: Have the dragon turn you into a woman. Step three: get raped to death. Literally. I still hate my old DM for that... Oh my goodness! :OMG! How awful for you! :( I hope you don't mind if I ask, but was the dragon still in dragon form when this happened? :confused:
sickien 12-19-06, 09:28 PM	Goblins with javelins killing the entire party on the first encounter.
theotherdraxen 12-19-06, 09:29 PM	Getting beaten to death by a dwarf wielding a Skurid as an improvised weapon.
strife_001 12-19-06, 09:40 PM	Irnoring the DM when he tries to tell you that the monsterous spider is on the ceiling directly above your head, in a single character adventure, with a strength 9 grey elf wizard. Me: "I cast sleep on the spider." DM: *Rolls, and fails save* " It falls off the ceiling unconcious, you are now prone and pinned by its sheer weight." Me: " Is it still unconcious?" DM: "Yes, but it's a DC 20 strength check to get it off you, and you take 2d6 lethal damage from crushing each round." Me: :eek: "This is going to take a ages!" *looks at strength* (I had a -1 strength modifier.) :weep: "This is going to take forever." Lesson: Use sleep with caution.
grok_grok 12-19-06, 11:42 PM	The number one most embrassing way to die has to be the Master of the Unseen Hand's most evil move ever, a move more painful then a sword, more feared then a black dragon, more blood burstingly magical then a flesh bomb, yes im talking about... The Telekinetic Purple Nurple!
Bob_The_Wizard 12-19-06, 11:50 PM	My epic sorcerer cast an intensified empowered chained twinned disintegrate in a duel with another mage. He had an epic form of spell turning on, which simply failed if it was overwhelmed by a spell with too many levels, but I thought that I had increased the spell level enough so that the turning wouldn't be able to handle it. He had exactly enough left in the spell to bounce it back at me. I roll a 1 on my save. I take 1080 damage from my own spell.
Chippy_the_Devourer 12-20-06, 01:06 AM	Hm... Trying to do my 'Screaming-Unclothed-Idiotic-Character-Immaturely-Dooms-Everyone' plan. (If that's too long, try making an acronym.) Looking back on the situation, I probably shouldn't have been allowed to try any ideas.
Sphyre 12-20-06, 01:28 AM	Hm... Trying to do my 'Screaming-Unclothed-Idiotic-Character-Immaturely-Dooms-Everyone' plan. (If that's too long, try making an acronym.) Looking back on the situation, I probably shouldn't have been allowed to try any ideas. Elan? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0025.html)
Koehdeth 12-20-06, 02:18 AM	I think thats 69 so far. 70. Killed by two mysterious laterns in a swamp (will-o'-wisps) while the party was sleeping, followed soon after by the party. Btw will-o'-wisps are supposed to be CR 6, but invisibility, AC 29, and immunity to magic states otherwise, so also embarrassing for me as DM cause I didnt read their abilities before hand >_< 71. Hugged by a spiked devil... a couple times. Hunter of the Dead didn't see that coming in a haunted tomb. 72. Having a 70-ton fiendish gargantuan spider that was killed in the first round of combat by phantasmal killer fall on you. 72.5 (close call) Being swallowed by a purple worm, who is then promptly turned to stone by prismatic spray. Luckily, the swallowed person was a monk with dimension door. He was however the one under the aforementioned spider, and the sorcerer instantly killed both creatures first turn he got to act. 73. Cut in half by the halfling frenzied berserker, who had no more enemies to fight and failed his Will save. Went from full hp to about -13 in one hit. 74. Same frenzied berserker rolling a 1 on his Will save to end raging, attacking the celestial fighter whose necklace returned damage dealt to him, and ending the fight with about -150 or so hit points. 75. Performing the "Jacky Chan Stealth Walk" across an open courtyard, then getting gunned down by a crapload of crossbowmen while they wonder what the hell you're doing.
frasmage 12-20-06, 10:24 AM	Elan? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0025.html) ha, I thought of the same thing