Post/Author/DateTime	Post
merric101 05-16-07, 01:22 AM	Indeed, another 1001 compitition. I shall judge it for as long as i see fit and :cookie: 's will be awrded every 5, and :coolcthul 's will be awarded every 10. so any way, have at it.
bobothechimp 05-16-07, 01:29 AM	"Come on, it's just a Kobold."
navar100 05-16-07, 01:39 AM	"I attack! What do I see?"
BadCatMan 05-16-07, 01:43 AM	3. "I'll be fine. Unless I roll a 1."
merric101 05-16-07, 01:47 AM	I'm going to sleep now, i will jugde in za morning. Laters. ~Merric~
JackChickRulz 05-16-07, 01:49 AM	Leroy Jenkins!
_SIN_ 05-16-07, 03:19 AM	Buuuuuuuzz-zziiiiiiing!
sorvikcorsair 05-16-07, 03:34 AM	7. What do you mean you are out of power points?
Namation 05-16-07, 04:04 AM	Giant - Dire; Whats the diffrence?
BlooCat 05-16-07, 04:20 AM	"You mean to say thats your hoard of treasure?"
Robert_Fox_Kitsune 05-16-07, 09:20 AM	My Paladin....never died, but was on around -7 hp on every one of these circumstances "Its okay, Pelor shall protect us!" "In pelors name!" "HEATHEN, suffer the rightous wrath of PELOR" personally, i prefer a freinds. the party were fighting a minotaur whom had been plaguing us for a while. The Minotaur was tearing me (paladin) and the fighter apart with his greataxe, and we were definately losing. The Druid dashed forwards, and with some buffing spells, pushed me and the figher aside, his bear then grappling us and dragging us away from the fight The druid turned to us and ordered "Run" When finnaly we returned.....The Druid had been cleaved clean in half, and the Minotaur lay in a pool of his own blood. Whatever happened in that room, i salute him
Ugavine 05-16-07, 09:22 AM	10. "Well Mr. Warlord, you and whose army?!!!" 11. "The next time I see that Red Dragon I'm so gonna... he's standing behind me isn't he?!" 12. "What pit?"
sabrewolf 05-16-07, 10:10 AM	The obvious for a wand slinging wizzard: 13- *ZzzzttT!!!* - "Out of charges??? Whaaat?... " :bigeyes: One from a friend of mine... in the middle of a 20' wide stone bridge.. with 20 dual-greataxe wielding raging bugbears on charge: 14- "Dont worry.. IŽll hold them back!!" :fight!: 15- "FireBall !!!!!" :gah:
RobbyPants 05-16-07, 10:14 AM	16) "Maybe the rogue should be up front." Said at my game just last night, seconds before triggering a hobbeling trap. The rogue decided she wanted to stay in back with her bow... :P
LivingShadow 05-16-07, 11:14 AM	"I charge the hydra." Which promptly provoked 8 attacks of oppritunity followed by another 8 attacks on the hydra's turn.
ridiculous 05-16-07, 11:23 AM	My favorite of all time: "Timmy! Timmy! We're rich! We're fabulously rich Timmy! Oh my God Timmy look at that!... Timmy? Timmy..."
dragonboy131313 05-16-07, 01:16 PM	Rouge its not all about the treasure.
Roscoe_Greenbottle 05-16-07, 02:00 PM	Come on, this is the most obvious. "Watch this!"
shalitanior1018 05-19-07, 05:45 PM	camon whats the worst that can happen also... if we stick togethe we can defete the great worm gold dragon even though were only lvl 1.i call last in marching order
Nerdsman_Uruk 05-19-07, 06:19 PM	"Hey, Ugly"
Satyrus 05-19-07, 09:21 PM	Don't worry about the undead, our cleric will protect us! . . . right?:confused:
Secrets Untold 05-19-07, 09:33 PM	"Ooh! Look! Puppies!" --William Sarlic, residential taciturn warlock, just after he was dominated and just before he killed the rest of the party. The domination effect was dispelled about halfway through the slaughter... "Wich just goes to show you, never take the warlock's teddy away." --The rouge, who was in a different area of the dungeon at the time. He was killed shortly after.
navar100 05-19-07, 09:44 PM	"Oops."
Azire 05-20-07, 11:08 PM	A halfling sorcerer (who is a VERY heavy drinker) accidentally pisses off a Blackguard passing by in the street. "Hey, let me make it up to you. We'll go to the pub and I'll buy you a pint." *pats him on the back, casting irresistable dance*
secher_nbiw45 05-20-07, 11:12 PM	(years ago in 2nd ed) - Whats so bad about black pudding?
Gold Halberdier 05-21-07, 04:47 AM	"I like apples." -The NPC warrior who decided to pick the apples in a wizard's orchard. >.<
Evil DM Mk3 05-21-07, 04:52 AM	"Aww, isn't he cute? Yes he iz, yes he iz, izzie? YES HE IZ." Low level bards, please note dragon wrymlings, no matter how cute, are not for petting.
gamricstonecaller 05-21-07, 12:04 PM	"This does not bode well!":D
SeptimusMagistos 05-21-07, 06:10 PM	"Oh, come on! He specializes in illusions and enchantments! How much damage could he possibly do?"
Kamin_Majere 05-21-07, 06:29 PM	"Cone of ..... " As my wizard was turned into a fine red mist as 25 hevily enchanted animated chains attacked me with attacks of oppertunity for somewhere in the area of 800 hit points. the rest of the party to that situation "So thats what getting hit with a rail gun looks like" (OOC of course)
Broodmaster 05-21-07, 11:02 PM	"you think we have enough time to play a game of three dragon ante before we hit bottom?"
Ariath Ska'Vhor 05-22-07, 05:44 AM	"Come on, at least it can't get any worse." "It has what immunity?" "It's just a druid, how bad can fighting that hippie be?" "I choose to disbelieve!"
Namation 05-22-07, 06:30 AM	Oh! i figured it out!
Warforged Goblin 05-22-07, 06:36 AM	"Whatever a 'swordsage' is, he sounds like a chump. My fighter charges." "Hey guys, watch this..." "Don't worry, I can take all of them..." "They can't possibly know we're here." "Oh, crap. I thought shield subtracted damage. *Does math* Yeah, I'm dead." And my personal favorite, although not mine and culled from another list of famous last words: *In front of a temple of Lolth* "So, who's the b!tch with all the spiders?"
ArcaneCleric 05-22-07, 07:01 AM	"Ah! I know! I'll consult my character's Skull of Get A Clue..."
The_Grand_Artificer 05-22-07, 02:24 PM	"I roll to seduce Llolth..." (He got a crit... not that it helped...)
_Jayne_Cobb_ 05-22-07, 02:29 PM	The last words of the vast majprity of PCs are pretty much the same as the vast majority of real-world people. The exact wording varies, but they all pretty much translate as "I wonder what will happen if I do this…"
Sotha_syl 05-22-07, 04:16 PM	"Glowing means it's safe!!" -Ledfox Levouste, Lawful Stupid Paladin. (4 int, 18 cha) An actual character I DMed for a few months ago in a military based campaign. The player wanted to play a Paladin in an evil party, and thus used his roll of 4 and put it in intelligence so as to be entirely too stupid to realize his companions were blatantly evil. His summoned warhorse was literally twice as smart as he was.
Zousha_Omenohu 05-22-07, 07:26 PM	Blatant Nodwick ripoff, but too good to resist..."HOLD MY ALE AND WATCH THIS!":D
Janusunaj 05-22-07, 07:48 PM	"Man, this game is lame, but I'll play. I'm a level 5 wizard." "Your third level spell is "kick in the groin.
RedRory 05-22-07, 10:45 PM	Is that a real beholder? Seriously I am not making that up. If you remember the Gas Spore (I think it was only in 1st ed) the monster that looked like a beholder but if you cut it up it would spray out fungal spores... Well the DM thought it would be funny to put a beholder amongst these things. Bastard.
DarkflameX 05-22-07, 11:57 PM	ill be fine, i have 20 points in tumble
graddlin 05-22-07, 11:59 PM	-"I have an idea!"- -"We can beat 'em!"- -"Look at the teeth on that thing..."- -"It breaths what?"- -"I don't know, it looks sturdy..."- -"Oh, you're just being paranoid."- -"I want to pet the bunny."- Take care, fiends.
sorvikcorsair 05-23-07, 01:15 AM	Want to play with my new deck of cards?
One_WingedAngel 05-23-07, 04:45 AM	*Between a 1st level Sorcerer and Fighter* "I think we're in trouble. Quick, cast a spell!" "Like what?" "What do you have" "Looks like.... Magic Missile andFeather Fall" "You're kidding..." "..."
rex_subterrae1008 05-23-07, 01:10 PM	I cast "Dominate Monster" on the Tarrasque! ( http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=850807 )
Evil DM Mk3 05-23-07, 01:12 PM	Think of somthing?! You think of somthing!
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer 05-23-07, 04:26 PM	"My new charicter? well I found this realy cool build on the co Boards... Why are you drawing a crater over his hometown?" "I attack the Kobold" Nothing to do with Pun-Pun, just My Dm.
kentonblack 05-23-07, 07:08 PM	I should be fine. It's just a big plant. -a fourth level rogue experiencing his first shambling mound. How do we know you're the real angel of death? -self explanatory
Astron the Wizard 05-23-07, 07:27 PM	"I wonder who the murderer is?" -Rogue investigating a crime scene, right before being confronted by the murderer in question.
Thraxon 05-24-07, 12:33 AM	You see a dragon what do you do.... I attack But your a lvl 1 HAZZZZZZA Is vaporized a few seconds later:D
LugWrench 05-24-07, 01:00 AM	Im glad thats over, im taking off my armor. Oh, we wont die, the DM wont let us. Dont worry, he wont throw anything at us before we get to the dungeon. Death before dishonor..ATTACK! If the merchant doesnt like it, ill just run him through. I kill his guards, too. Push the red lever, then the blue one.....No WAIT! ....oops. The minotuar has me in a bear hug? Great, I cast Flamestrike on it. (upon seeing Tuckers Kobolds) ....oh my god, its THEM! Psions suck. Orcs...thats it... just orcs?
BlooCat 05-24-07, 03:29 AM	Dont worry, the dice love me!
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer 05-24-07, 09:39 AM	This is a perfect opertunity to try that stunt I saw in [any film, ever] I have a cunning plan. Dragons like crocodiles are slow of wit and animal in intilect, of corse we can outsmart it. Man this quest is slow, bring on a chalenge.
Evil DM Mk3 05-24-07, 10:24 AM	Your Bluffing!
Evilpyro15 05-24-07, 10:58 AM	"It's a Sorcerer15/Shadowdancer5/Rogue10, What could possibly go wrong for a party of four level threes?" - I'm just that evil as DM :D And my personal favourite, said by me when my friend introduced airships: "I'm going to do a barrel roll, while trying to avoid the gatling guns and cannon on the other ship. I'm also gonna try and set them on fire." I lost my ship, my entire crew, my gold and my life attempting to veer away from the burning hull that eventually hit my ship and crushed me, halfway out into the ocean.
Tusalu 05-24-07, 11:14 AM	"The sky is blue." (I guess you had to be there)
Calinon 05-24-07, 02:57 PM	"We're in a volcanoe. Of course the dragon will be red."
RobbyPants 05-24-07, 03:00 PM	"I found the end boss! Invisible Christopher Walken!" :eek:
SpoonNinja 05-24-07, 03:05 PM	"This is for eating my donkey!" *charges*
Caellus 05-24-07, 03:54 PM	My paladin to a Pit Fiend: "We are here to banish you back to your home plane... Speak now of shut it forever..." The Pit Fiend: "DIE!" (power word kill)
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer 05-24-07, 06:33 PM	Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me... what the heck is truenaming anyway? Variant of above Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me... what the heck is a 'pow-er word' spell anyway?
Fuinrauku 05-24-07, 07:02 PM	Two that happened in past games; [on rolling to hit] *EVERYONE rolls a natural miss* Player: "Ok... I'll level with you- can we PLEASE use our godly given points for us to all take another roll at this wizard who evidently will kill us all in his next round" DM: "Ok I'll give you that" *everyone rolls under a 5* DM: "..... well... it's getting better" ------- "I don't care what the legends say - that island with the heads on spikes is not an island of cannibals"
Finalus 05-24-07, 07:19 PM	1.Dont worry, I'M a PALADIN! 2.It's Just a little one.What could it do? 3.whoops...(assasin's death attack redirected) 4.Dont worry you can still drink more.... 5.DM:actually it wasn't dead yet...
A Bigmouth Bard 05-24-07, 07:20 PM	"Hey, what's that symbol on that wall?" (from Order of the Stick)"Frankly, I have more important things to worry about. Like why they haven't fired their catapults yet..." "Well he said there were only two of them. At least there's not a third."
Finalus 05-24-07, 07:25 PM	..
LittleBrother 05-24-07, 07:56 PM	I'll save you! Natural twenty!? (2e, savings throw) You really suck as a king. Hello, I'm <forgot the character's name> the assassin. So how much damage does the noose do? I cast lightning bolt! (At a guy less than three feet away, underwater)
Wollenator 05-25-07, 01:59 PM	Look at my sig ;)
rex_subterrae1008 05-25-07, 03:16 PM	I found a book of famous last quotes, and a lot can apply to D&D... Here are a few... lol. "There ain't nobody gonna shoot me." "I don't need bodyguards." "Hurrah, boys, we've got them! We'll finish them up and then go home to our stations." "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-" "Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?" "Oh good... for a moment there I thought we were in trouble."
ALRUFF 05-25-07, 03:39 PM	DM: "Crit happens."
TheCrawlingSpleen 05-25-07, 03:46 PM	This one comes courtesy of my brother: "I can take him." And, of course: "I've got an idea!"
Broodmaster 05-25-07, 06:59 PM	Any gnome that says "oops!"
Sean, THe Incompotent 05-25-07, 09:48 PM	I run under the giant point my rod of wonder up and yell the comand word
merric101 05-27-07, 01:30 PM	Sorry guys, alot came up in my life so i havent been able to judge, i here by postpoe all judgeing on this contest until i have found a TEMPERERY replacment judge, send me some PM's if you want the TEMPERARY job.
keelsc 05-27-07, 03:07 PM	"I cut the head off the Corpse" ok story: Druid and Wiz walk thru the woods and hear a noise. they turn around and see a chair with a body on it. they keep walking and hear another noise, now the chairs closer so the druid said the afore mentioned quote. to bad the animated chair killed 'em Signed Keelsc
Bane_of_Morgoth 05-27-07, 04:13 PM	*Talking about a gelatinous cube* "Oooh it's like jello, i'm gunna poke it!" *Talking about a mind flayer* "What does it eat?"
stucktj 05-27-07, 07:34 PM	"Quick we'll lose him in the maze" says the lv1 party leader as they're running away from a half-dragon minatuar that they ticked off by trying to catch him flatfooted player:"oh come on fish can't get that big" Me::plotting:
IronFistMonkCerberlain 05-27-07, 08:04 PM	Any gnome that says "oops!" any kender that says "oops!"
LordDraxcis 05-27-07, 09:02 PM	My elf fighter/magic user 3 has a spear. the rest of the party is engaged in combat when 3 trolls burst through the door behind us. So I say: "don't worry, guys. My magic spear and I will stop them." 1 round later, I'm a very flattened, very dead elf. or this: "Guys, we're only first level.There's no way that's a real dragon..." or this: does a 7 save?
Cernunnos56 05-27-07, 09:32 PM	I DMed a game where the floor unlocked the door to a powerful tome. Basically there was an etched pattern that lead under the door, and inscribed (in Abyssal) on the dungeon door was 'The sacrificial blood of the weak shall feed the strongest among us.' A cleaver puzzle on my part! I thought the players were going to place the animals they just killed in the room on the etched floor to open the door... I was wrong. There was only one PC that could read it. He told the other two PCs that were with him (the other PCs were outside the temple) the words said "The strongest among us, shall pray for our passage." Then he suggested that someone else should pray on the pattern. As the PC kneeled in prayer he came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder and said "You truely are the strongest among us!" Then he drove his sword through him! I should have had the inscription say the blood, instead of sacrificial blood, was the PCs defense for his actions.
shalitanior1018 06-04-07, 03:16 PM	i cant be defeated
giogio 06-04-07, 10:08 PM	Many Rogues: "I AM pretty sure there is no tr..."
Red Dragon 06-04-07, 10:14 PM	Waait.... HOW big did those villagers say the adult snakes got again? (True story). I'm an atheist!! (Said in a thunderstorm) Aww, how bad could it be, anyway? The Far Realm? What's that? Shiny....
DrakoShade 06-04-07, 11:49 PM	In 2e, a wild mage: "I'm out of things to smoke..." In 3e, a sorcerer: "I blew all my spell slots lighting cigars."
KedynCrow 06-07-07, 12:19 AM	"Well, fine [Insert God Here]. So long as you aren't listening to my prayers, let me tell you what I really think about you!" "Let's follow them." "There's no way his spot check is that high." "Wait...wait...he's on FIRE? He IS fire?" "So if I break the Staff of the Archmagi, it'll create an explosion big enough to scare away the orcs, right?...Right?...*DM grabs dice to roll retributive strike*" My personal favorite: "It's just a LITTLE demon."
Zandolit 06-07-07, 01:10 AM	To the party: "[Friendly, much-loved NPC] will be fine. Once [BBEG] is dead, their psychic link will be broken and [NPC] will be freed." To the NPC: "Don't worry, we're going to help you. Everything is going to be alright." What we didn't know was that killing the BBEG would actually kill the NPC too, in spite of the fact that the NPC had been an unwilling participant in the mind link. The DM said there wasn't really any way to avoid that (aside from not killing the BBEG,) but my character felt like a big jerk getting our NPC friend killed after promising to save him.
LightBane 06-07-07, 03:47 AM	I am invincible! But I'm already in the room This lead to a badly botched assassination atempt (which almost succeeded) which lead to the whole party being executed.
Shiggles 06-07-07, 05:48 AM	"I Rage, and take a 5-foot step back." This is honestly what are barbarian said, what happened to him next... well... I'll leave that up to the imangination.
Bat 06-07-07, 09:00 AM	Our sorcerer cast flame-shield, then said to an enemy monk: "Hit me. Hit me hard!" The next round, the DM rolled two natural 20's in a row for the monk.
LordDraxcis 06-07-07, 03:09 PM	1. Damn! 2. Sorry for the length: My party is fighting an Iron Golem, the fighter is doing effectively nothing, the rogue can do nothing, and the cleric is useless (she is wearing magic gauntlets that were made to break some spell in the room, which means that she is just standing there, as the gauntlets do their stuff). My wizard decides to open one of the two huge golden doors, hoping to find a great treasure room and some sort of weapon to kill the golem. My DM has spent the last 4 sessions hinting at the rogue, reminding him to "always check for traps". My DM says "do you really want to do that?" Famous last words: "Sure, can't be worse than the golem..." The door opens, the meteor swarm spell is released, the rogue dies, the cleric is knoced unconscious, the fighter is knocked down 50+ hp, and is at 3. the golem is destroyed. I die of shame(or the fact that the DM considered my actions so phenomenally stupid that I didn't get a save). I think the party resurrected me hoping to 'accidentally' kill me.
Eshenaleros 06-07-07, 03:10 PM	spin the wheel raggedy man!
calronmoonflower 06-08-07, 04:29 AM	Leroy Jenkins! I got tried of seeing this and not understanding. So i looked it up on wikipedia. I got this http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7714643693602998196 :heehee :rofl:
De_Chain 06-08-07, 02:28 PM	"It's HERO time!" "I'm bored..." "I'm tired..." "Shazam!"
coldshiftdown 06-08-07, 03:21 PM	"It's just a big bug" - 4th level fighter charging rust monster
coldshiftdown 06-08-07, 03:26 PM	"wait. does a 13 save?"
coldshiftdown 06-08-07, 03:28 PM	has anyone seen the rogue?
Peregrine_Wolf 06-08-07, 03:36 PM	In a small Wizard's laboratory Rogue: "What are you doing?!?!?" Wizard: "I'm not exactly sure, but it has something to do with a Fireball going off in a small chamber-" :mage: Also..... Rogue: "I wonder what happens when I push this button......." :rimshot: :gah: :incog:
DragonStrife 06-08-07, 04:18 PM	"ooooo, Jiggly!" This not a true last word thanks to my party's cleric who got blast on to her butt twice trying to dispel it. My elven druid laughed his head off. :tongue:
Bradwerd 06-08-07, 10:34 PM	HEY LOOK! A deck of Cards!
justin_byrne 06-09-07, 04:06 AM	I roll to attack the DM ------------------------- Charge! -------------- (DM has just said next person to speak will die- they were shouting, you have to control your PC's) "don't belive him" ------------------------------ (not a last word but it wasfun) I had given a BBEG a dagger of amputation- it was covered in a poisen that peels 1 limb per round if it hits corectly, works and is not saved by- only cure is an antidote) Asasin: ok so what does the dagger do DM: it does D4 damage and is coted in a poisen that slowly peels off your limbs- you now have only one leg :D Assasin: :OMG!
Disco 06-09-07, 05:37 AM	"Awesome, I'm the only member of the party to pass my fear check against that dragon!"
MOD3004 06-09-07, 06:38 AM	So let me get this straight, the silver dragon wants us to go back to our home town. ::nods from party:: Reveal our "God" to really be an evil dragon. Annouce this fact to our home town that worships him and then take out his priestess, guards, and anyone else that gets in our way. Then kill the dragon and do this to every town that has a dragon as a "God" around the world. Ok I guess it sounds doable. Good thing we've got Wild Magic!
LordDraxcis 06-09-07, 01:14 PM	Not with that hand! :rofl: Justin Byrne, that was amazing. anyway, my friends last words: "I'm bored. Why is nothing happening?" DM says: I can fix that. I'm not sure what happened next (I wasn't allowed in the room for this encounter), but when I came back, my friend was very dead. Important lesson: never, under any circumstances, tell your DM that his custom made adventure is boring you to death.
Astron the Wizard 06-09-07, 01:20 PM	"WHAT?! CHUCK THE CHULL IS DEAD??????!!!!!! Oh no." This was after a collosal skeleton had just crushed the skull of a monster who we had befriended, and convinced to be our party member. Boy, the DM did not like that (the orc barbarian was the one who suggested we call him Chuck, by the way) EDIT: Oh, and I just remembered something else. In the end, before I died, the skeleton had 2 hit points. There was one PC's turn before the skeleton's turn, so we were counting on him to stop from making us jelly. He did 1 damage. The skeleton lived, and killed us all.