Post/Author/DateTime	Post
PeaceReaper 04-23-08, 10:05 PM	A list of the funniest encounters ever. 1: As my group was exploring Undermountain, the party accidently ran into a goblin camp. As the rogue and the druid tried to negotiate, the wizard gave up and started to toss a couple of fireballs. The other party members made a deal with the goblins that they would trade the wizard for their lives, then ran for cover. Fortunately, the wizard survived the encounter, rolling a couple 20s with his quarterstaff. Unfortunately, he died a couple rounds later...that's another story... Anyway, what are your funniest encounters?
CheesieM0nkies 04-24-08, 07:59 AM	I'm gonna repost this from somewhere else (I forgot where) Please note that most of the adventure is not shown - just this one string going on 2. So we have a party consisting of a monk, a dragon, and a ranger. Ranger: I ride my wolf down the road towards the town DM: ?? Wolves are medium. There too small Ranger: I get on anyway DM: okaaay... the wolf collapses from your weight Ranger: Stupid wolf! I put sticks in its stomach to hold it up! DM: You imaple your wolf in the gut with several branches. It wimpers and runs away Ranger: I follow it DM: In the forest you see it has some pups its protecting Ranger: I tie the pups to my feet and tell them to run! I stand up DM: !!! You squish them... Later on, the ranger got his wolf back, and the dragon PC decided to follow the DM's plot hook and go to the northern mountains. As he flew away, the ranger jumped onto his tail. Monk: What about me!!?? Ranger: Where is my wolf? DM: Your wolf is hanging off of your foot Ranger: I fire my grappling hook through the wolf to the monk Monk: I grab it DM: The wolf howls in pain - its dying Ranger: Stupid wolf! I smack it with my hammer DM: you smash its skull - now there is wolf brain ooze all over the place Ranger: >< at wolf We got to the mountain, went inside and came across a chasm leading underground Ranger: I jump in! DM: :eek: Ranger: I hold my wolf beneath my to break my fall DM: Its dead... Ranger: Yea I know but i still have it DM: Ok. You fall into the waiting mouth of a huge white dragon! You are sinking into its stomach acids Ranger: I take my wolf and hammer it into a raft Somehow he escaped... DM: The place is covered with snow, and you see what looks like a dragon cave ahead of you Ranger: I use my wolf to shovel away the snow DM: You are starving - you havent eaten since town Ranger: Ok, I eat my wolf DM: Hes frozen solid from the snow Ranger: I pee on him to melt the snow away! DM: Some frost lizards crawl out and attack you guys. Roll intitiave Ranger: I rip a peice of my wolf off and throw it at the lizard DM: The lizard takes (rolls) 38 wisdom drain! He falls asleep in perpetual nightmares Ranger: u'know I think I like being a ranger :D I take my wolf, stick my two bows up its rear and pull them apart DM: WHY? Ranger: To make a sheild! DM: :weep: No idea what that ranger was thinkning - but hey. I guess he had the wrong idea of what rangers were
Shadowshimmer 04-24-08, 08:13 AM	Our party Kender was confronting an Evil Black Robed Wizard who was leading an attack on Solace and we thought the Kender was a goner when he tossed a gem at the Wizard. The Wizard caught the gem but what he did not know was that the holder of the gem would be transported by a word of recall when the word Nerka was spoken. The Kender shouts "Nerka!!!!" and bam, the Wizard was gone and we saved Solace because of the Kender.
PeaceReaper 04-24-08, 10:04 PM	I'm gonna repost this from somewhere else (I forgot where) Please note that most of the adventure is not shown - just this one string going on 2. So we have a party consisting of a monk, a dragon, and a ranger. Ranger: I ride my wolf down the road towards the town DM: ?? Wolves are medium. There too small Ranger: I get on anyway DM: okaaay... the wolf collapses from your weight Ranger: Stupid wolf! I put sticks in its stomach to hold it up! DM: You imaple your wolf in the gut with several branches. It wimpers and runs away Ranger: I follow it DM: In the forest you see it has some pups its protecting Ranger: I tie the pups to my feet and tell them to run! I stand up DM: !!! You squish them... Later on, the ranger got his wolf back, and the dragon PC decided to follow the DM's plot hook and go to the northern mountains. As he flew away, the ranger jumped onto his tail. Monk: What about me!!?? Ranger: Where is my wolf? DM: Your wolf is hanging off of your foot Ranger: I fire my grappling hook through the wolf to the monk Monk: I grab it DM: The wolf howls in pain - its dying Ranger: Stupid wolf! I smack it with my hammer DM: you smash its skull - now there is wolf brain ooze all over the place Ranger: >< at wolf We got to the mountain, went inside and came across a chasm leading underground Ranger: I jump in! DM: :eek: Ranger: I hold my wolf beneath my to break my fall DM: Its dead... Ranger: Yea I know but i still have it DM: Ok. You fall into the waiting mouth of a huge white dragon! You are sinking into its stomach acids Ranger: I take my wolf and hammer it into a raft Somehow he escaped... DM: The place is covered with snow, and you see what looks like a dragon cave ahead of you Ranger: I use my wolf to shovel away the snow DM: You are starving - you havent eaten since town Ranger: Ok, I eat my wolf DM: Hes frozen solid from the snow Ranger: I pee on him to melt the snow away! DM: Some frost lizards crawl out and attack you guys. Roll intitiave Ranger: I rip a peice of my wolf off and throw it at the lizard DM: The lizard takes (rolls) 38 wisdom drain! He falls asleep in perpetual nightmares Ranger: u'know I think I like being a ranger :D I take my wolf, stick my two bows up its rear and pull them apart DM: WHY? Ranger: To make a sheild! DM: :weep: No idea what that ranger was thinkning - but hey. I guess he had the wrong idea of what rangers were Duuuuuude...that's sick...
CaptainPicard 04-25-08, 01:27 AM	The party had just defeated an army of giants and various nasty mountain thingies and had made their way up to the lair of the army's leader, a powerful dragon named Crosis who was the only remaining Purple in existence (I statted it myself). This is roughly what happened. It was over six months ago, so I don't remember every line exactly as it was. Crosis: "So you have come, fools! Come to meet your death at the hands of the great Cros- Assassin: "Yes, yes, yes, doom and destruction and all that, we've heard it before." Crosis: "... It's very impolite to interrupt people when they are speaking, so I'd appreciate it if you'd- Warlock: "I appreciated your mother last night!" Crosis: "... God damn it." *awkward silence for a moment* Assassin: "Look, we're just going to kill you, loot your hoarde, and go back to town, so get your little speech over with and let's do this." Warlock: *homophobic insult; middle finger* Crosis: "... As I was SAYING, you have come to meet your death at the hands of Crosis, the Horror!" (Crosis is referencing a list of titles the PCs had found earlier with a prophecy and other things which are a long story) Assassin: "Wait, why are you the Horror? Why aren't you the Dragon?" (The Dragon was also on the list) Crosis: "Because I'm the Horror. It's not like I have any say over it." Assassin: "... But it doesn't make any sense!" Crosis: "Look, morons, I didn't write the list, OK? The ancient prophets-" Assassin: "No! It's stupid! Why would you, a dragon, be the Horror? This implies that unless there is another dragon, then someone who is not a dragon is the Dragon!" Crosis: "You know what? **** you! Why do I always have to be the one to put up with this ****ing bull ****? Whenever me and the guys get together to watch the game and eat a few princesses, they talk about how they cooked some knight who was all like 'I will slay you, Scharixideon, for the honor of my father'! And I get some lippy assassin and a retarded warlock!" Swordsage: "Hey, Ideon! I love that show!" Crosis: "DIE!" Although really, every encounter goes off the wall and winds up breaking the fourth wall exactly like that one does. In terms of an encounter where something in the encounter generated funny results, while fighting a Drow Battle Dancer, the Assassin from before pulled a corner around a building on the side of a cliff and put a Grease spell behind him. Said Battle Dancer ran right after him, with all her increased speed, and hit the patch of Grease, failed reflex, and sailed right out off the ledge at high speeds. She fell 150 feet and smashed into some stalagmites. However, she managed to survive at 3 HP and thus the party heard a faint "Ow..." echo up from the chasm, which sent everyone into stitches. In hindsight, you probably had to be there.
SolEiji 04-25-08, 01:54 AM	I was DMing a FF7 flavored campaign, so there were trains and robots mixed in with the fantasy. One of the heroes had a motorbike with sidecars, and the other was a really fast monk which actually outpaced the bike. Anyway, they were supposed to be chasing this train and its goods, and as the heroes approached the train using their various means, a big flying robot came out to defend the train. It dropped in slightly behind the motorbike and it's passengers and prepared to kill them. Then the party caster who was on the bike cast Wall of Stone in between the robot and the party. We had been traveling at a huge speed, like, 200 ft a round or something. The impact was treated like fall damage, and being a golem it wasn't the brightest. In two hits the party destroyed my boss by having it run into instant walls. I had to give them credit for creativity.
Naragonth 04-25-08, 12:40 PM	HI 6: I think this was like my third or forth session in a campaign, I being the DM. The party ranger decided he was going to buy one of every item in the basic equipment section of the PHB. You know, tanglefoot bags, tindersticks, the works. (He still hasn't actually used any of the stuff) Anyway, he's finally down to buying thunderstones, and one player, exasperated, demandes "What are you going to do with that? Evolve your pikachu? Much hilarity follows. (Not exactly an encounter, but defiantly a funny moment.) 7: The other one, which was an encounter, involved a special race of goblins, called Belsamaug, from the Scarred Lands. They spend most of their time looking like rocks. When the full moon is overhead they turn into goblins and wreck havoc. An evil person is planning a surprise invasion by shipping vast numbers of these things into the kingdom, and the characters on their second mission intercepted a shipload. They grabbed like 100 of the rocks and put them in their cart (another random item they purchased). Through the next few sessions they lose almost all the rocks (one player said: it's not like they just got up and walked away!" when he found their guard dead and their pack empty of rocks) except four. Later, they then bury one in an elderly man's vegetable patch, thinking its a cursed item, in the very adventure where I am about to bring them to life, because its the full moon. So, while they are preparing to sleep, I ask them what they are doing with the rocks. Being very protective of them, the dwarf cleric says that he... puts them in his underwear. :eek: Much hilarity ensues again. I ruled the goblin just appeared in the nearest open space.
CheesieM0nkies 04-26-08, 12:20 AM	Duuuuuude...that's sick... Touche He wasn't done, either This was well after he lost his wolf for good 8. DM: You all are venturing through the forest, to the borders protected by the city. Aside from a few owls hooting, its very quiet Ranger: I fire at the shadowy movements we saw earlier (Rolls, natural 1) DM: (rolls) Alright your arrow flies at an awkward angle and pegs one of the owls in the tree. It shreiks and falls down. Ranger: NOOOOO DM: Its still alive, but its very bloody with a giant arrow in its head Ranger: I pick it up DM: It flaps its wings wildly at you. Take 1 subdual dmg Ranger: I hold its wings down DM: Make a str check vs the owl (DC 3) Ranger: Natural One!!! DM: You pull at his wings. Make another strength check Ranger: NATURAL 20!! WOOHOO DM: You tear his wings off in a bloody mess of feathers Ranger: aww. I stick them back on and use sticks to hold them up DM: You impale the owl.. Ranger: Aww heck. I get a big stick and stick it into the owl, sorta like a standard or staff DM: You now have the Owl Staff - a dead owl with an arrow sticking out of it as well as both its wings being held on by sticks. The whole thing is revolting Ranger: Guys i got an idea. You all leave. Ranger: I hide in the tree with my staff and take of all my clothes DM: :O Ranger: I take a readied action to jump down on the first adventurer I see! DM: Ok. One of the border druids walks by. You jump her. Make a free smite attempt. ranger: Kool! Ok it wasnt like the wolf story but still - was fun when I was there
Rania 04-26-08, 04:35 PM	I was DMing a FF7 flavored campaign, so there were trains and robots mixed in with the fantasy. One of the heroes had a motorbike with sidecars, and the other was a really fast monk which actually outpaced the bike. Anyway, they were supposed to be chasing this train and its goods, and as the heroes approached the train using their various means, a big flying robot came out to defend the train. It dropped in slightly behind the motorbike and its passengers and prepared to kill them. Then the party caster who was on the bike cast Wall of Stone in between the robot and the party. We had been traveling at a huge speed, like, 200 ft a round or something. The impact was treated like fall damage, and being a golem it wasn't the brightest. In two hits the party destroyed my boss by having it run into instant walls. I had to give them credit for creativity.How did you calculate falling damage? Take speed as acceleration due to gravity over a height of x units? ...sorry. Nerd as well as geek, here.
PeaceReaper 04-28-08, 10:47 PM	Touche He wasn't done, either This was well after he lost his wolf for good 8. DM: You all are venturing through the forest, to the borders protected by the city. Aside from a few owls hooting, its very quiet Ranger: I fire at the shadowy movements we saw earlier (Rolls, natural 1) DM: (rolls) Alright your arrow flies at an awkward angle and pegs one of the owls in the tree. It shreiks and falls down. Ranger: NOOOOO DM: Its still alive, but its very bloody with a giant arrow in its head Ranger: I pick it up DM: It flaps its wings wildly at you. Take 1 subdual dmg Ranger: I hold its wings down DM: Make a str check vs the owl (DC 3) Ranger: Natural One!!! DM: You pull at his wings. Make another strength check Ranger: NATURAL 20!! WOOHOO DM: You tear his wings off in a bloody mess of feathers Ranger: aww. I stick them back on and use sticks to hold them up DM: You impale the owl.. Ranger: Aww heck. I get a big stick and stick it into the owl, sorta like a standard or staff DM: You now have the Owl Staff - a dead owl with an arrow sticking out of it as well as both its wings being held on by sticks. The whole thing is revolting Ranger: Guys i got an idea. You all leave. Ranger: I hide in the tree with my staff and take of all my clothes DM: :O Ranger: I take a readied action to jump down on the first adventurer I see! DM: Ok. One of the border druids walks by. You jump her. Make a free smite attempt. ranger: Kool! Ok it wasnt like the wolf story but still - was fun when I was there That ranger is seriously messed up, man.