Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Allerin 12-21-07, 05:10 PM	Post the humorous deaths you've had or known happened around your table. 1. Had a half-elf warlock that was behind our group's tank taking pot shots at the enemies he was fighting and he crit misses (1) and the DM has these critical fumble sheets he uses, he rolls out and shows "You critically damage your ally" Well, he +4 greatsword flies into my low level warlock and pins me to the wall.
Shadojack 12-21-07, 05:26 PM	Had a player who wanted a repeating magic crossbow, so I gave hime a quest for it. he got it. One the very next adventure his partner was attacked by a golden gorger and grappled. Of course my friend thought this is a great time to try out his new toy. Rolled a one, shot his partner six times, and then got eaten alive while he was reloading.
roninwolf1981 12-23-07, 11:32 AM	My Half Celestial Paladin got pecked in the eye and killed by a Cockatrice. I'd write more, but that's the joke. :censored: three Natural 20s in a row!:rant: :tantrum: :headexplo
Martin_the_Warrior 12-23-07, 02:02 PM	I was playing a 14th-level incarnate. My party was under attack by about 20 drow who were way too high-level for us. Our DM was trying to keep us away from a certain treasure horde. Bottom line: we were screwed. I flew right into the middle of them, deactivated all of my protective items, and let them hit me. While my fully essentiaed (sp?) mantle of flame hit them up. The party got into the treasure horde. I died. And another one.... We had a 12th level sorcerer while we were fighting another patrol of drow. (Our DM doesn't like us very much) Sorcerer is surrounded. Sorcerer decides to take care of the drow and cast fireball with himself as the center point. My ranger was right next to him. I decided to count him as an enemy, used my attack of opportunity to call a shot to his face (though I think that my DM only allowed that for obvious reasons), rolled a natural 20. Sorcerer died. Party lived. He wasn't very happy.
Windspear 12-23-07, 02:23 PM	The party was sleeping while tehy were attacked by troglodites. Sorcerer wakes up, and instead of waking up the rest and hide behind one of the rocks which were around, he moves forward and casts magic missile on one of them doing 3 points of damage. He ended up being charged, flanked and killed. The other party members were awoken by the sounds of battle and started to fight them, only to have just he rogue survive killing the last one
Rustmonster 12-23-07, 02:44 PM	Strange how 50% of the stories so far were caused by houserules. Hmmm.:rolleyes:
Cowczar 12-27-07, 02:02 PM	Playing against a horde of Skum (we were first level), I threw the halfling rogue in the middle of the group of around 14. Perfect checks. The player of the halfling proceeded to get up and pummel me. :D
Zombie_Babies 12-27-07, 02:49 PM	Strange how 50% of the stories so far were caused by houserules. Hmmm.:rolleyes: Maybe change the thread title to 1001 reasons not to use Critical Fumble and Called Shots Tables? :cool:
gullas 12-27-07, 02:59 PM	I once had an half orc monk who didn't got his jump check and fell down 100 feet on spears , while the fully armored pally in the group somehow managed to get this jump check :confused:
littlekid 12-27-07, 03:00 PM	First DnD character ever lasted until level 2. Half-elf sorc, human fighter and elf cleric. We got attacked by 3-4 goblins and a hobgoblin with a greataxe. I was attempting to save a party member who got knocked unconscious. I ran by the hobgoblin to try and hit him with a cure light wounds, bam, critical hit, roll for damage? 12. My elf cleric with 15 hit points took 40+ damage.
Braydz 12-27-07, 04:35 PM	So my first D&D character ever was a 2nd edition lvl. 1 Human Cleric of a death god (Ravenloft, not sure which god). In my first session the party was at an inn, chillin'. My character, being anti-social, is upstairs praying for those in his company to be granted the blessing of release from their mortal coils. A woman screams in a room next to me, so I go out into the hall with my scimitar to see what's going on and see her running past me and down the stairs. This is when the elven Ranger that doesn't share a language with anyone else in the party and thinks I'm a creep races up the stairs to see what the matters is, so what he sees in this innocent woman running from the creep with a scimitar. He charges at me attacking while I fall on my knees casting Sanctuary. We tied for initiative and his sword had a better speed factor. And he crit.ed. Maybe not funny, but memorable. My first character lasted all of 20 minutes, and ever since then I've been hooked on RPGs.
Martin_the_Warrior 12-27-07, 11:15 PM	Strange how 50% of the stories so far were caused by houserules. Hmmm.:rolleyes: Yeah, well... My DM is the only person in my town of 12k who ISN'T 50 years old and still living in his parent's basement. So we pretty much roll with whatever he says : p And this story did not happen to me, but it hilarious, so... Really stingy party. Whenever they come to a toll bridge or anything like that, the halfling jumps into the party's bag of holding so that they can save one person's fare for passage. One day, they come to a toll bridge. Unfortunately, the bag of holding that they normally use is full of loot. Fortunately, they have found another *unidentified* bag of holding. Halfling says, "Sure. That'll work" jumps in. They cross the bridge. At the end, the fighter reaches in the bag for the halfling. The DM pauses for a long time, then says, "You pull out a ..... couple of bones." The unidentified bag of holding was really a cursed bag of devouring. Needless to say, the halfling's player was not very happy.
Tsochar 12-28-07, 03:12 AM	The first time I DMed, three goblins were attacking the wood elf fighter and drow ranger (guess who he's based on :rolleyes:) in the party. The fighter gets knocked out, so the ranger goes to give him a healing potion. Goblin hits with AoO while he does so, killing him. (It was pretty much all my fault; I didn't know 5-foot steps don't provoke) I came away learning that 3.0 2-weapon fighting rules suck compared to 3.5 rules.
toucanbuzz 12-28-07, 09:57 AM	DM'd a 2nd edition group that had an argument on a jungle island on how to reach a castle on a cliff. Everyone argued so much they all went their own ways (mind these were 15th level characters) Hefty Barbarian player: wanted to climb the 800' cliff barehanded and couldn't understand why everyone else didn't want to. He talked the other fighter into climbing with him. Atop the cliff, a red dragon calmly watched. When the barbarian neared the top, rather than just breathe fire, the dragon uttered a 1st level "Command" spell of "Jump." High level barbarian fails his save. He jumps. He falls 800' to the riverbank below. Dim-witted fighter: After climbing to the top of the dragon's cliff and watching his buddy "jump", fighter failed his save versus a "charm person" spell. The sadistic dragon sent him on his merry way to meet the women at the castle who happened to be harpies. Eventually the fighter failed a save and sat by as the harpies prepared him for dinner. Wild Mage: The wild mage figured he'd cast a spell to get himself to the castle first. Unfortunately, as wild mages are oft to do, he miscast the spell and it surged...polymorphing him into a crocodile. Without anyone to change him back, he turned to his new life in the river. Yikes. After that, in group arguments were much reduced!