Post/Author/DateTime	Post
imagic 02-12-08, 09:12 PM	This is another of those 1001 etc. etc. threads that keep appearing on these forums. I personaly like them, they help with the creative process needed in making adventures, also they're funny. If you dont like them you dont have to post here, just click the back button right now. :P Anyway, this is a place to put your most humiliating deaths, either from the PC or the DM end. I would prefer that these be kept to things that have actualy happened to you, but noones gonna blame you if you have a funny one that simply popped into you mind. Also, if we could keep a running tally of how many we have, it would be great. This is my first thread on these forums and I'd love to know if it's a sucess.
Seeker95 02-12-08, 09:26 PM	The first 27. (http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=964240&highlight=ways+to+die)
pigknight 02-12-08, 09:54 PM	Did not actually happen but... 1) Sir Kennideth:*Dies* Sir Stanford: Oh milord thou hasth slain Sir Kennideth! Archmage Hyle: Ye dastards!
imagic 02-12-08, 10:17 PM	Alright, Seeker95, we're not gonna count that because many of those wern't actual deaths, just near deaths and such. Great job finding that though. Anyway 2) My DM insists on putting his skeletons in dresses, with an armor bonus... I was the mage and I got surrounded by skeletons wearing these multi-colored dresses (they were described by the DM as provocative which made me shudder) and by the time the fighter hacked his way through, I was very much dead, and somehow wearing one of the skeleton's dresses. Dm still hasnt explained how that happened... I have a few more, but I'll save them for another time.
andinel 02-13-08, 03:19 AM	3) The party is low level. In the wilderness, they encounter a dire weasel, and the weasel gets the jump on the halfling rogue and begins to kill her rather quickly. In comes the cleric, who, having already expended his spells for the day, attempts to kill the weasel with his mace. Unfortunately, the attack roll is absolutely terrible and he hits the rogue, reducing her to -10 hp and dead. This actually happened to a player in my first game.
Novacat 02-13-08, 03:49 AM	3) The party is low level. In the wilderness, they encounter a dire weasel, and the weasel gets the jump on the halfling rogue and begins to kill her rather quickly. In comes the cleric, who, having already expended his spells for the day, attempts to kill the weasel with his mace. Unfortunately, the attack roll is absolutely terrible and he hits the rogue, reducing her to -10 hp and dead. This actually happened to a player in my first game. Which is why critical fumble rules are the devil.
Orchomenos 02-13-08, 09:57 AM	4) New player in the campaign. He is creating his PC when I get to the DM's appartment. He's making an half-elf monk. DM says: "Let's see later for a backstory. I could use some random plot hooks with your PC if you're ok..." New guy is ok. The first battle is against some blue gorilla-like creatures in the forest, with some fear effect. My barbarian panic and is out of the battle, leaving the monk as the lone tank. Poor monk dies. "Ok, who want to pay to raise the monk from death?" Silence. "Ok, just create a new character, you want have to be one level behind." It's just at this point that our mystic theurge announces he will pay to raise him from death... :rolleyes:
Ragorok 02-13-08, 10:26 AM	5.)Well,we were fighting an army of orcs/goblins.It was the army's turn.They shot arrows.My elf got hit with 30.Doing 70 damage.And I got a fumble on my fortitude.He then slid down to the ground off of the wall of force.It happened 3 other times.
Shadowshimmer 02-13-08, 11:56 AM	6. My Halfling Rogue Sprite was killed by a Land Shark in the middle of a field. I tried climbing a tree and the Land Shark knocked me and the tree down and pulled us under. I don't know why I find it humiliating but I always picture that moment each time I watch Jaws.
Seflore 02-13-08, 01:20 PM	7. You are walking through a nice hilly area and apparently your DM is having a really off day. So the next thing you know you see a dwarf coming over the hill wielding a gigantic oak tree. Without warning you get hit and killed by said oak tree and there is nothing left but your boots.
icuall 02-13-08, 01:29 PM	8. My character died naked in a Roman Style Bathhouse. Assasasin sneaked in and attacked me with a short sword, after I was quickly hit, and was flatfooted at the time getting a massage, I tried to fight off with anything nearby, my first option was a wooden chair. Char was unsuccessful in his defense (plus didn't roll well). Character ended face down floating in the pool.
blodgett 02-13-08, 03:54 PM	I ran Dragon Mountain (a massive module full of kobolds). It generated 2 memorable, bad deaths 9) The room before the dragon is a huge room filled with literally thousands of kobold archers. Each character takes 20d6 (no save) damage from arrows per round. Half way through the room, the mage decides to cast protection from arrows and dies. (Why he waited to cast it, I'll never know, he stormed out.) 10) Just to balance things out, I changed the 4 death knights into kobolds. Why would the dragon use humans for it's death knights? The party stops for the night (after wiping out all the kobolds in the region) and posts a guard. He sees two short, armored figures approaching and says "I can handle them, I don't wake the party." They respond by casting their fireballs at the party (which wakes everyone up. At this point, the player starts arguing that kobolds can't cast spells. Then the other two death knights show up. Two more fireballs (140 some odd points in total, about 4 dead characters) and the guards starts to think that maybe these aren't kobolds. He died too. I would have held back, but they had the ability to bring people back to life and had walked all over my poor kobolds up to that point. Taught them some respect. Yep, fear the kobold death knight.
imagic 02-13-08, 07:24 PM	Nice job guys, keep em coming! 11) Slightly related to Andinel's, my DM has a house rule about critical fumbles on attack rolls, you either hit a random nearby target, or yourself. (I have yet to determine how he decides which) If you hit yourself, he rolls from a special die he got online that has a load of bodyparts written on it. My barbarian (made after my mage had the incident with the skeletons) was attacking a lich (he has an insane hatred for the undead... I wonder why?) he swings and misses. That was the day I discovered the "crotch" on his special die...... :surrender
Captain_Madrick 02-14-08, 03:20 PM	I'm a friendly guy, and do not do cruel things to players, however when one player announced that he was dropping out for no reason, I said that was fine... 12) Your Half-Orc fighter character meets a chubby halfling woman from a nearby halfling village. You quickly fall in love, decide to marry, settling down. You hang your sword on the wall, put your armor in a trunk, and become a farmer. The night of the wedding, as you are *ahem* consumating, she pulls a dirk and stabs you repeatedly. She is entitled to all of your items and gold.
nivlac_calvin 02-14-08, 08:42 PM	13. I and 2 other spell casters had made a sort of house/keep out of 3 walls of ice (triangle with open point) and all a wall of ice for a roof we made it with some scrolls, but we forgot that it had a time limit unlike wall of iron or stone, the side walls went first (we had 3 spell casters 2 mere multi), the roof was cast by me. Walls go bye. roof fall. me flat.
Drenack 02-14-08, 09:13 PM	In the the campaign I'm in when you fumble an attack roll you take one damage and ever time after the damage doubles. Anyway our fighter has one hp and he fumbles the attack goes unconscious and never stabilizes he bleeds out and dies. Before that battle he had kill more monsters than anyone else that session. I thought it was hilarious, he was less than amused. Another time my character was about to get knocked out and killed so I start singing "so long and thanks for all the fish". I then critical and kill the monster I was fighting, everyone starts laughing at this point...except our once fighter now ranger who is ****** that I lived through an encounter almost identical to the one he died in. I am a soulknife in this campaign.
Bleeding_Eyes 02-14-08, 11:12 PM	14) Gnome Rogue/Assasin shooting at a gargantuan earth elemental with my petty longbow, my two other companions (half celestial paladin, and gnome bard/dragon disiple) take to the air leaving me to shoot at this huge elemental. Anyways, it never occured to my characeter to flee until it was too late, he ended up being smashed 50 feet into a wall where my party members had to peel me off...
Josheva 02-18-08, 04:39 AM	15) The snake you placed in your pants rolls three 20s for its attack roll. 16) Not a PC death, but our druid's badger once rolled three 20s and killed the assassin that came to our room in an inn before we had any idea. We woke up to a gruesome scene.
kelvinaw273 02-18-08, 06:54 AM	17) Mauled to death by a 1st level wizard's black cat familiar. And this was a 5th level fighter, mind you!* * In deference, he fumbled an attack role and smashed his head against a wall, knocking him out, and another PC then decided that grenade-like weapons would be ideal against a fast, nimble cat. All the cat did was the coup-de-grace, really. But still, to be killed by a 1st level (dead) wizard's familiar ... :nonono:
Avatar of Kokusho 02-18-08, 07:02 AM	The drow ranger rogue, over the course of one campaign: 18) Dies to impolsion not once, not twice, but three different times. 19) Gets Blasphemy'd. 20) Gets dominated by an archmage, and attacks a party member, who sticks him in paralysis (he was a lich) just in time for the giant ooze to feel hungry not a death, but close 21) Gets his butt royally kicked at level 17 by a CR 8 celestial dire lion summoned from a trap.
imagic 02-20-08, 07:39 PM	Well well, not too bad for my first real thread, eh? Great job so far everyone, got a tad off count, drenack's submission didnt get a number so we've actualy had 22, the next being this: 23) (not exactly humiliating, so much as hi-larious) I saw this in a sig and felt I had to try it out the next time my DM threw an army at us, luckily that came quickly. (This is before my mage was killed by the dresskeletons) We were up against a human army that for some reason thought we were evil. A small party galloped up the hill to "escort us to the general." As my party members rolled a few diplomacy checks, I snuck off a few hills away, where the army was camping. I used 2 area of effect spells and hit about half the camp. Half of the remaining soldiers proceeded to run away, while the other, more courageous half ran up the hill and proceeded to slaughter me. Painfully. Needless to say, they were convinced that our party was A) evil and B) going to die. *The DM later decided to let us replay that one, after I bribed him a bit, CASH'D!!! I behaved, but we still couldnt convince them we were nice guys...
Karno_Fevik 02-25-08, 03:07 PM	24: This happened in a game a while back. We were all low level, maybe 3rd or 4th or so. We are sneaking about these ruins and come to one stone building that is in a little better shape than the rest of the place. It's dusk, and very dark inside. DM describes a room as bathed in blu-ish light and strangely, there is a rat and some other things floating in mid-air. Drow Factotum character not played by me says "I poke my head in." There was a Gelatinous Cube right in the doorway. A few of us tried pulling him out, but were having no luck. So our resident spellcaster casts Burning Sphere, which killed the Cube AND the Factotum. 25: Same session, same player as the Drow comes back as a Psionic. A little friendly roleplaying and a bunch of failed checks and we all think he's lying and is really there to hurt us. I say to him - "The last few doors we've had to open had monsters and other things in them. If you speak the truth, I want you to help us fight whatever is behind this big door." He says ok, and does some Psionic Blast trick or something just targeting randomly at the area beyond the door. Turns out that behind that door was the Gold Dragon we were sent to find. One breath weapon later, and there was only me and the barbarian left. 26: More recently, in a game I was DMing. Characters find a pipe emptying into a large cavern with an underground lake. While the party argues over how best to proceed, the Warlock spider climbs onto the ceiling of the cavern. A number of really horrid spot checks later, he faces a Shadow Demon, alone, that he can't even see, making 2 Vile Damage Touch Attacks every round. The party finally figured out what they were gonna do and went down into the cavern, only to find the Warlock face down in the water, dead as a doornail.
Ace_of_time 02-25-08, 10:15 PM	I ran Dragon Mountain (a massive module full of kobolds). It generated 2 memorable, bad deaths 9) The room before the dragon is a huge room filled with literally thousands of kobold archers. Each character takes 20d6 (no save) damage from arrows per round. Half way through the room, the mage decides to cast protection from arrows and dies. (Why he waited to cast it, I'll never know, he stormed out.) 10) Just to balance things out, I changed the 4 death knights into kobolds. Why would the dragon use humans for it's death knights? The party stops for the night (after wiping out all the kobolds in the region) and posts a guard. He sees two short, armored figures approaching and says "I can handle them, I don't wake the party." They respond by casting their fireballs at the party (which wakes everyone up. At this point, the player starts arguing that kobolds can't cast spells. Then the other two death knights show up. Two more fireballs (140 some odd points in total, about 4 dead characters) and the guards starts to think that maybe these aren't kobolds. He died too. I would have held back, but they had the ability to bring people back to life and had walked all over my poor kobolds up to that point. Taught them some respect. Yep, fear the kobold death knight.I'm sure that is not the only ones from that module. 27. One of my players turned evil at that temple in the swamp I think. TPK! And when I had to take control of him he had half HP. They had already gotten the other two map parts.
Hsien 02-26-08, 09:31 AM	28. Trapped at the bottom of a Hill Giant's Privy..and it's beans and burrito night. ( shudders ) Drowning; it's not just for oceans.... This was our "The Pit of Despair" before Princess Bride came out.
Silverthumb 02-26-08, 04:29 PM	29. The Kender steals your pants. Your head explodes, and your girlfriend breaks up with you.
jcunit 02-26-08, 08:42 PM	Our Rogue tried to hug a Naga king. As the DM, and thinking about other culture's I made it so the hug was taken as a threat by his gaurds and he got slaughtered. He burned his character sheet after that.
Ace_of_time 02-26-08, 09:23 PM	30. We were doing one of the online adven when we came to a room that had a bridge across a boiling tar pit. There was a trap in about every room up until then except in the last one before this one. There were monsters standing on the other side waiting from us to cross. The rogue starts searching for traps. ( the monsters did have long range attacks so she took a 10.) But I had already called for init and they knew I was running combat rounds. The rogue went first then my wife went. ( played a Minotaur using monster classes) She charged across the bridge on her turn not waiting for the rogue to finish find traps. (which she would have found) Falling into the tar pit through the trap door. She also had the HHS and still carried her full blade. She wouldn't even drop the magic sword for a chance to live. All the treasure went down with her. We were laughing to hard to be mad. Even my wife after the shock was over.
Drizztrocks 02-26-08, 10:13 PM	31 So, the DM was angry my first character, a level 1 Elf rouge, wasn't going with the plot when I kept arguing with the rest of the people in a tavern, including the bartender. Not meaning to kill me, and apperently never reading of dice smudging, made the drunk next to me attack me. He scored a critical hit and sent me down to 0 hitpoints. I was venurable as the bartender slammed a bottle over my head, leaving me there to die. The DM didnt care though-he was having to much fun slaughtering me and my friends. I was killed in a barfight, being slammed and punched to death. It was rather hummilating, but worse for the DM: nobody showed up for his game the next time. :rolleyes:
ciaran 02-26-08, 11:23 PM	CRIT FROM A COW I ran a short game where I convinced a PC to play an Aristocrat from DMG. You have to know him... it was perfect. He sees this cow in a field and decided to launch a few arrows at it, lowering its hp. He heads out with his sword to finish it off and the thing charges! it rolls a crit, confirms and promptly kills the young nobleman.
Trei 02-29-08, 11:40 AM	DM: Among the various coins and gems you find a gray, fist-sized rock. Fighter: I take it, and examine it closely. DM: It appears to be your typical fist-sized rock. Fighter: But it was in the treasure. Something's special about this rock. I sniff it. DM: It smells like a rock. Fighter: I bang it on the ground. DM: It feels and sounds like a rock. Fighter: ...I lick it. DM: You feel tingly. +1 STR. Fighter. Ooooh! I lick it again! DM: Another +1 STR, your muscles grow. Fighter: I stick it in my mouth like a massive "jawbreaker." DM: Very well. For each round that passes, your STR will improve by 1. What are you doing? Fighter: I'm going to stand here until I gain all the magic from it. DM: Your muscles bulge, and bulge, and bulge... until they start ripping out of your skin. You take.. 15 damage this round... and then 18 the next round as your muscles explode out of you at an alarming rate.. Fighter: I spit it out! I spit it out! DM: Your jaw muscles are too huge to operate correctly. Make a reflex save. Fighter: *fails* DM: Your muscles literally pop out of your skin and expand until you are a giant, bloody ball of muscle. That item sure ROCKed your world, eh? Player 2: Yeah, better ROCK n roll up a new character sheet! Player 3: What a STONE cold killing! Fighter: ....shut up... (Clever DM. Knew the fighter would get greedy with such an item.)
Gentlemanic 02-29-08, 01:09 PM	In our first campaign we thought that wizards should be old men with low con right? So.... Gnome wizard with con 6 had 1 hp at level one. Get's bitten by a tiny poisonous spider. Fails fortitude save. Dies. End of his character. :P
sleepygecko 02-29-08, 03:05 PM	33? I think, not me, but in my party: Kender plus a gellatinous cube filled with all the stuff it had picked up over the years, everything was so shiny... and now one dead kender with pouches. (Hey, we weren't going in after him!)
Mock26 02-29-08, 03:13 PM	Which is why critical fumble rules are the devil. Actually, to me this is why horrible critical fumble rules are the devil. There are some really good critical fumble systems out that work well and offer "diminishing returns" as characters advance in level. ====================================== Your character dies because his class/race no longer exists under the new rules.
james_gaines 02-29-08, 07:18 PM	In a no-magic campaign me (ranger) and two other guys (a fighter mercenary and monk slave named Prostitute (long story)) are supposed to kill this pig. I don't know what the DM threw at us, never had a chance to ask, but I'm pretty sure it was some sort of genetic experiment with dragons and livestock. Everyone ended that encounter in negative hitpoints (luckily both the monk and myself decided to get the Diehard trait). Everyone stabilized and we limped back to the farm with a less than -5 hp each. Everytime the DM said "pig" after that it was met with screaming.
imagic 03-02-08, 11:40 PM	Great job, everyone. Remember to keep them numbered. The next one should be #38
Dracollich 03-03-08, 12:24 AM	#38 - The victim - Dwarven Rogue/Barbarian that hates orcs because they killed his family, that has been reincarnated as an orc (pure unlucky roll on the reincarnation chart). The set-up - Prays to his god for a way out of his living hell. Receives a vision that in the treasure at the bottom of the castle lays a vial that contains a means to make him a dwarf. The demise - The party fights their way through the evil castle and enters the treasure room. The orc, who was once a dwarf, frantically searches for the vial, finds it, and gulps it down in one giant swig. The acid in the vial that was containing the ring of wish pours down his throat and dissolves the character to death (failed every single saving throw possible). The remaining party members pick up the ring of wish from the puddle that was once a dwarf and wish him back to life, forgetting to mention the small detail of making him a dwarf again.
theskyfullofdust 03-26-08, 01:04 PM	# 39 I had a new character rolled up for an adventure (human fighter, I think), who lasted less than five minutes into the game: got snatched by some ketch from a random encounter and died before anyone could help her.
kelcimer 03-26-08, 01:17 PM	#40. In a 10ft by 10ft room by your own fireball.
Rictras_Shard 03-26-08, 01:57 PM	41) My first official AD&D game, 1E. The group was playing at school, were missing a player, and knew I was interested, so they got me to play the guy's character, a fighter (I think around 5th level, but memory is hazy). He was in a corridor, already badly injured, with a minotaur on one end, and a succubus on the other. I didn't know what a succubus was, but I had heard of minotaurs. Being quite intimidated by it, I headed in the direction of the demon (although I didn't know then it was a demon, all the DM gave me was its name). Before I even reached her, a slime fell on me, and killed me instantly, without even a roll made. Furthermore, the DM declared that my fighter had been turned into a slime. All the other players laughed and mocked my inepitude. They stopped laughing though, when I told the DM I was sneaking up on each of them to turn them into slimes too. Being a cruel sort, he allowed it, and I got to enact a full party wipe. Then I left, and never gamed with them again.
Fenrir_Greyback 03-26-08, 03:57 PM	The most humiliating death I've seen so far, is death by A$$ rape. We called the guy who preformed the dirty deed, "The big MJ" (Short for Michael Jackson) This was punishment for one of our guys who had to leave to go to a school dance in the middle of the session and didn't get back until like 10. So we had is character mightily screwed.
Bloodsoul 03-26-08, 05:16 PM	43: In one of my earliest experiences I was playing as a human barbarian who was fairly intelligent. A shame that I was not. He and our party were trapped in an illusionary world, and the only way out was by touching a map. However, after seeing a party member touch the map and just "dissapear", I deemed the map was bad. Despite all the "wink wink" hints that was supposed to tell me that touchy the map was a good thing, I, instead, torched the map, killing all those who were trapped inside. I atleast made the DM's jaw drop with that one. He totally didn't see that one coming. XD
lunoc 03-27-08, 09:06 PM	sven, my first character. he was a human fighter who worshiped thor. he fell down a pit. dm: aright, do you have any pitons me: any whats? dm: pitons, they let you climb me:oh yea! i have 2... how far do i have to climb? dm: 20 feet... as far as i know, sven is still in that hole. i never even gave him a last name.
Mock26 03-27-08, 10:35 PM	You fall into a 50' deep pit and you survive! But, as you're dusting the dust off of you armor the world's largest dragon, who just happens to have the worst case of diarrhea in the history of dragons, let's loose just as he passes over the pit. Then, the rest of his flight, who all ate at the same village, then fly overhead and releave themselves.
imagic 04-20-08, 04:38 PM	These are hilarious guys! Kudos to mock26. next one should be 46
Mock26 04-20-08, 05:33 PM	46. You activate your Immovable Rod and your DM decides then and there to tell you that the rod is immovable in relation to the center of the universe and that when it activated, and in relation to you, it instantly achieved a speed of several thousand miles a second and you were instantly vaporized when the rod moved right through you.
Sunic_Flames 04-21-08, 09:00 AM	Which is why critical fumble rules are the devil. +1.
gullas 04-21-08, 09:08 AM	47. a monk with many ranks is jump and a decent str. mod fails a jump check and falls dow a "bottomless" pit. It actually happened to me :weep:
Qube 04-21-08, 10:02 AM	48. spontanious combustion ... worst houserule ever, especially in combination with alchemist fire flasks ... 49. a lvl 1 wizard getting killed by a cat ... (lucky saves, bad touch attacks ...)
UndeadMouse 04-21-08, 01:03 PM	Most awesome TPK ever: 50) one of my old players, a sorcerer, tried to kill a dragon with small rocks. Didn't work out that well. 51) The monk tried to hit the dragon in the rear while the sorcerer was being eaten. The dragon spits the remains of the sorcerer at the monk. The monk fails his reflex save and gets knocked into a chasm at the back of the dragon's cave. 52) Another old player, a rogue, tried to suicide bomb the same dragon (he had to leave the group, so he wanted to leave with a bang). Set the fuse a little too short on about 25 flasks of alchamist's fire and blew up the corridor, blocking acess to the dragon. 53) The ranger gets crushed by rock spewed from the rogues failed suicide bombing and get's crushed.
OpticalShadow 05-07-08, 01:05 AM	not sure if this was said skimmed though it 54) failed a will save of 15 on a stone to flesh spell(i had +7 fort)
nivlac_calvin 05-08-08, 05:07 PM	Sorta like 54, 55) I used a 'Rod of Pain' on a climbing enemy while climbing after him----The rod some rod my DM made with lots of random spells like fireball, lightning, and other killing spells---- Unfourtunetly the spell that was activated was flesh to stone, and I was right underneath him.