1001 Laws of Wizardry [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTimePost
Novacat

04-10-07, 12:33 AM
Please no Terry Goodkind or Harry Potter references.

Law of Wizardry #1: Only the stupid wizards ever die.
Law of Wizardry #2: The stupid wizards deserve to die.
Law of Wizardry #3: There's nothing wrong with Hold Person-ing your own fighter if he refuses to stay between you and the baddies.
Law of Wizardry #4: When you say "everyone get back", they better dern well do it.
Law of Wizardry #5: You are not responsible for the consequences if they don't get back.
Law of Wizardry #6: Magic can solve all your problems... in another level or two.
Law of Wizardry #7: He without scrolls had best learn Laws 1 and 2.
Law of Wizardry #8: If that sorcerer flaunts his spontaneous spellcasting one more time, the wizard is honor-bound to disintegrate-coup de grace him in his sleep.
Law of Wizardry #9: Empowered Fireballs don't kill people, Wail of the Banshee kills people.
Law of Wizardry #10: Never, ever, ever tease the cleric about not being able to command an army of undead like you can.
Lixith

04-10-07, 03:02 AM
Law of Wizardry #11: Yes that stacks......:D
Law of Wizardry #12: Sculpt what? Ya, whatever.... MAXIMIZE!!
Law of Wizardry #13: You can be rude to the fighters... in the morning anyway.
Gideon_Gideonson

04-10-07, 03:07 AM
Law of Wizardry #14: Wizards follow no laws. Wizards make laws.

(I mean...seriously. Once you're up high enough, who's going to stop you?)
Seed_Mode

04-10-07, 03:08 AM
Law of Wizardry #15: NEVER try to snatch spell scrolls form another person least the scroll tears
Law of Wizardry #16: Elves makes good wizards is a lie
Law of Wizardry #17: Elves that actually made good wizards are not to encourage the stated falsehood.
Law of Wizardry #18: If Law #3 fails... use a strong compulsion spell
Law of Wizardry #19: Becareful for what you wish for.
Law of Wizardry #20: Wall of *** can be casted horizontially
Law of Wizardry #21: If that fighter flaunts his uber magical weapon one more time, the wizard is honor-bound to Mage Disjunction it on the spot
Law of Wizardry #22: DO NOT cast Explosive Runes on your spellbook as an anti-theif measure
Law of Wizardry #23: He who violates Law #17 shall best refer to Law #1 and #2
Law of Wizardry #24: Handle magical wands made of glass with care.
Evil DM Mk3

04-10-07, 03:27 AM
Law 25:Fighters exist because spell resitance does.
Law 26:Five prepared fireballs are nice, two prepared fireballs and thre scintilating spheres are nicer.
Law 27:If at first you don't sucseed, there is probably a reason, find that THEN try again.
Law 28:Remember that the universe does not like being mutilated, Inevitables are not nice people.
Law 29:Never bar a school that contains spells designed to move you very quickly.
Law 30:Don't buff because you can, bluff because you PLAN.
Law 31:He who fails to prepare, has no spells that day.
Azezel

04-10-07, 10:40 AM
Law 32: There are some very old Wizards, and there are some very bold Wizards, but very few who are both.
Law 33: Counterspell is spelt 'f-i-r-e-b-a-l-l'.
_Jayne_Cobb_

04-10-07, 10:45 AM
Law 34: What is the point in exploring the unknown depths of universal truth that mortal minds were not meant to fathom if you can't use that knowledge blow the **** out of something once in a while.
RobbyPants

04-10-07, 10:45 AM
35) Every wizard has the perfect ability to pintpoint the center of a fireball so that it misses every ally, and hits the maximum amount of enemies, almost as if the wizard were looking at the battlefield from the top-down.
Izodor_Shadowcaster

04-10-07, 11:07 AM
36) Every Lawful Wizard must understand that he breaks the laws of Physics.... This can and will be used as a powerfull motto in times needed.
Orcmonk220

04-10-07, 11:20 AM
Rule 37: When preparing the long monologue, Wizards should ensure protective spells have been cast beforehand.
Rule 38: Wizards who agree with False Life as a 2nd level spell have never been adventuring.
Cherubaddon

04-10-07, 11:23 AM
Law of Wizardry #14: Wizards follow no laws. Wizards make laws.

Law of Wizardry #37: Wizards don't make laws. Wizards are the law.
Law of Wizardry #38: If at first you don't succeed, planar bind an efreet.
Law of Wizardry #39: Kill me once, shame on you. Kill me twice, shame on me.
IrishRover

04-10-07, 11:34 AM
Law of Wizardry #40: Science is describing the universe in terms that everyone can understand; Magic is speaking to the universe in terms it can not ignore.
Sajek

04-10-07, 01:05 PM
Law 41: When the rogue says "Oh yeah!? What can you do? I have evasion and slippery mind, son!" he is seriously asking for it.
Law 42: If you say "Don't worry, he can only save on a 20," you do alter the laws of reality.
_Jayne_Cobb_

04-10-07, 01:10 PM
Law 43: Physics is your *itch.
Evil DM Mk3

04-10-07, 04:43 PM
Law 44: Although you can ignore them, it is much more fun to use magic and the laws of physics together, 1 disitigrate = 1 kill if aimed at a creature, or 1 cave in if aimed a a stress point in the cealing.

Law 45: Never absorb an energy field larger that your head.
JasonOrlandoHawk

04-10-07, 04:51 PM
Law 46: Baleful Polymorph anyone who refers to you as a "pansy bookworm" into an insect of some sort. Then, feed them to your raven.

Law 47: Knowledge is Power! (Can't believe no one said that yet...)

Law 48: Knowing is half the battle.

Law 49: Prismatic Spray is the other half.

Law 50: Unless you prefer Defenestrating Sphere.

:P
Bringer of autumn

04-10-07, 06:07 PM
Law of Wizardry #40: Science is describing the universe in terms that everyone can understand; Magic is speaking to the universe in terms it can not ignore.

I like that.
Sajek

04-10-07, 07:20 PM
Law of Wizardry #40: Science is describing the universe in terms that everyone can understand; Magic is speaking to the universe in terms it can not ignore.
Thats a pretty cool quote. I think I'll sig that.
invaladuser

04-10-07, 07:24 PM
law 47: Never underestimate the power of any school of magic.
law 48: when you do violate rule 47, another wizard specializing in that school will show you how to use it, and you will be the test dummy.
Grandpa Gamer

04-10-07, 07:28 PM
Law of Wizardry #51: HASTE!

Law of Wizardry #51: SILENCE is Golden!

Law of Wizardry #52: If it's broken, don't fix it, TRANSFIX it!

Law of Wizardry #53: SERVANT HORDE will make quick work of any treasure!:D
Novacat

04-10-07, 07:46 PM
Law of Wizardry #40: Science is describing the universe in terms that everyone can understand; Magic is speaking to the universe in terms it can not ignore.

It would seem IrishRover has won the day so far.
Yadot

04-10-07, 08:03 PM
law 47: Never underestimate the power of any school of magic.
law 48: when you do violate rule 47, another wizard specializing in that school will show you how to use it, and you will be the test dummy.
Law of Wizardry #54 Except Evocation, seriously direct damage sucks
Law of Wizardry #55 And Abjuration, what is the point of protecting yourself if you can't attack?
Law of Wizardry #56 Ditto for Divination, it's so weak you're not allowed to ban it.
Law of Wizardry #57 Exclude Enchantment, every is immume at higher level.
Law of Wizardry #58 Trash Transmutation. Its main spells are so worthless it's not even funny. Polymorph? I mean come on!
Law of Wizardry #59 Never Necromancy? Undead, Save or Dies? Meh.
Law of Wizardry #60 Invoke Illusion? Why would you? Its spells are nerfed and extremly unversatile.
Law of Wizardry #61 Coming to Conjuration, it may seem good but thats only do to munchkins pushing the Spell Compendium.
Etharion

04-11-07, 03:37 AM
Law of wizardry #62: When in the forest, 3. A.M. in the morning, and something is a'movin in the bushes, Forcecage first..ask questions later.
Ariath Ska'Vhor

04-11-07, 03:56 AM
Law 41: When the rogue says "Oh yeah!? What can you do? I have evasion and slippery mind, son!" he is seriously asking for it.


#63: Should said rogue ask for 'it', 'it' often includes necromancy spells wuich require a fortitude save.
Etharion

04-11-07, 05:10 PM
Law of wizardry #64:Ioun stones are your frieeeends...cast invisibility and permanancy on them to protect them...
Alpha_Moose

04-11-07, 07:36 PM
Law of Wizardry #40: Science is describing the universe in terms that everyone can understand; Magic is speaking to the universe in terms it can not ignore.
Law 34: What is the point in exploring the unknown depths of universal truth that mortal minds were not meant to fathom if you can't use that knowledge blow the **** out of something once in a while.

Love those ones.

#65: If it can be abused, it will be.
#66: Magic + science = fun.

Edit* a better one than 66 is:
#67: Don't mix magic with the laws of reality if you can afford it.
suparman999

04-11-07, 09:26 PM
#68:Fighters without spell resistance are weak. Make sure they know it.
Tired, might think of another one later
Alpha_Moose

04-11-07, 09:53 PM
#69: Use Telekinesis to cause brain hemorrhages to kill others without a save.
ubernerd666

04-17-07, 10:55 AM
#70: Make fun of fighters any chance you get(and any other meat sheilds)((behind their backs of course))
#71: Summon your strongest demon for everything, even for cleaning your house(or dungeon:evillaugh )
_Jayne_Cobb_

04-17-07, 11:02 AM
Law 46: Baleful Polymorph anyone who refers to you as a "pansy bookworm" into an insect of some sort. Then, feed them to your raven.

Law 46 (revised for agreeable symmetry)
Polymorph anyone who refers to you as a "pansy bookworm" into a worm then crush them with a book.

;)
metamind

04-17-07, 11:06 AM
(I mean...seriously. Once you're up high enough, who's going to stop you?)

Dispell Magic?
Alpha_Moose

04-17-07, 06:06 PM
Dispell Magic?

So... other Wizards?
Evil DM Mk3

04-17-07, 06:26 PM
And clerics, and quite a lot of monsters, and certain other classes if the spell is of a certain type...
Alpha_Moose

04-17-07, 06:38 PM
And clerics, and quite a lot of monsters, and certain other classes if the spell is of a certain type...

Well then:

#72: Always have Spell Turning active at all times.
metamind

04-19-07, 01:57 PM
So... other Wizards?

Yeah.