1001 memorable quotes from your games [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 memorable quotes from your games [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
algritz
10-21-04, 01:11 PM My first 1001 thread :) (hope none had been done before on that topic)

Let's list the memorable quotes from your games they can either be in play calls or out of play calls.

If the quote needs an explaination on the context feel free to give it along the quote.

Here's a few of ours

1. "Please leave your annihilation sphere at the entrace. You can take it back when you leave."

- This was in a recent Drow game where my character had control over an annihilation sphere, I kept controlling it for a couple of hours. The wizards of the school of necromancy had quite a big suprise when I wanted to enter. At some point someone asked me to leave my annihilation sphere before entrering. Another player called this quote at that moment.

2. "Warning : exploding globlins nearby"

- we had an encouter with goblins that had the strange behavoir of exploding when killed. Causing an acid explosion. lots of fun...

3. "Hey look it's a template bane dagger !!!"

- Some time ago DM' a game where I wanted that the player use templates on their character, One of the player had the great idea to ask for a template bane dagguer as a magical item, which I refused. At some point in the game, that player found a magical dagger, without much inspection he called that quote...

4. Tsordax : Hi guys, don't mind me I'm just getting a coke..."

- In my current game the players play the "evil guys" of a former game held by one of my players. Tsordax was the BBEG of that game. As the player (still level 1 are talking with BBEG #2, one of them realising whom they were talking too (in fact, it was the DM of the other game) said : "You see someone entering the room, a guy called Tsordax, saying : "Hi guys, don't mind me I'm just getting a coke..."

If I manage to recall others, I'll post them.
xmcknight
10-21-04, 02:47 PM I have quite a few. Here are just some:

5. Ranger - "A footorum, uh, horsehoots, uh, I mean a horse riding a soldier!"
Me - "Are you trying to call the book of evil horses or something?"
(The ranger was the only one who made his listen check to hear the sound of horses approching)

6. DM - "You see a triangle in the sky off in the distance"
Paladin, dead serious, - "I shoot at it!"
(The triangle in question was a mountain.)

7. Theif - "I'm not going to steal from a QUEEN! She isn't rich enough to steal from!"
Enalung
10-21-04, 05:44 PM 8.
Monk: For Heironeous!
Cleric of Ehlonna: You coward, leave that animal alone
Monk: What did you say?
...
HidroliX
10-21-04, 06:00 PM 9.Dont die my paladin friend! i will take you to the temple cluster where a priest can revive you!!
Paladin: Thank you, I only got 4hp left!
Roqeu: stabs him to dead... well 4 hp is no problem!!! i take his boots and gold :)

(PC killers :nonono: )
Ph33r_the_Wheelchair
10-21-04, 06:23 PM 10. Paladin: They're only gibberlings. (he died)

11. Paladin and party's Evil Cleric: Let's see what happens when we try to turn/rebuke these skeletons at the same time! (you know what happens? They explode)
The_EvilDungeon_Master
10-21-04, 09:13 PM 12. Rogue: "Hey guys... since when do large, red, scaled rocks start... uh.. blowing flame?"

13. PC: "I shout out 'Look! A three headed monkey!' and run away."
Felonious Monk
10-22-04, 02:19 AM "I'm about to do something brilliant!" -party fighter/sorcerer before doing something invariably stupid.
Pentavite of the Flames
10-22-04, 03:46 AM A DM with a slip of the tounge made the King announce to his hall:

My lords, as we stand here tonight, we constitute an axis of evil!

The DM had ment to say 'axis of slaying evil', but by then we'd already killed him.
pentagonal_penguin
10-22-04, 03:57 AM (To embaress the guilty, player numbers are the same from quote to quote)

16. DM: "Are you sure you can do that in one round?" (Grab the unconcious Player2, drag him out the door and close the door)
Player1: "I think so. Lets see, 1 round is 6 seconds...Player2, can you lie on the floor for a second please?"
Player2 lies down on the floor.
Player1 tries a couple of times to grab Player2 and drag him out the door in 6 seconds, while Player3 times them. Players 3 and 4 and the DM watch incredulously.

(End result, can drag him out but not close the door.)

17. (After finding some Drow doing evil things, and slaughtering them.)

Player3 (Paladin) - "Start Digging!"
Players 1,2,DM - :confused:
Player4 (who got it) - "TO THE UNDERDARK!"
Players 1,2,DM - :eek:

18. "Does the blackguard have pointy ears?"

19. Player3 (same paladin) - "Wait! I figured out the trap! Whenever you tread on a tile in one of the rows with..."
DM - Wait! Int check.
Player3 rolls a 1
Player3 - "... ugg"

20. (Level 4 party)
DM - "Well, i don't have the stats for these undead, so..."
Player3 recites skeleton template
Player3 recites zombie template
Player4 recites dracolich template
DM, who is writing them down, - "Wait a minute. WHAT?"

21. Party finds a chest in a room containing a large bed. (Ogre mage size). The chest is under the bed. Whenever someone touches it, 1d6 blast of cold.

DM (Different campaign, player4 from above) - *chuckles* - "I can't wait to see you try casting at it"
Player3 (gnomish wizard) - "Ok. Everyone, let's leave the room"
Gnome stands in doorway, casts magic missile at chest, barbarian pulls him aside after casting.
DM, grinning - "You hear a thunderous detonation. When you re-enter the room, you find no bed, no furniture. The room is clear, except for a thick sheet of ice on walls, floor and ceiling.
TheBard
10-22-04, 07:25 AM 22.) Our Half-Orc Barbarian, standing in front of an adamantine tower under our control with a closed door, surrounded by driders and spiders: "I go into rage ... (*thinks a moment*) ... and knock the door!"
HidroliX
10-22-04, 10:56 AM 23. I turned undead! how long do I stay undead? :rolleyes:
Kittencaboodle
10-22-04, 11:14 AM http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=304933

:schemes:
Enalung
10-22-04, 11:20 AM 24.
Dm: The room contains 2 chest, a table and some other kitchen furniture. A fire burns in the corner.
Rogue: I drag a chest back to the eating room.
Rogue: I try and search for a trap.
Dm: Chest is not traped
Rogue: I open it
Dm: You find some strange runes in the chest, it feels cold, there's different kinds of meat inside. (It's a refrigirator of sort if you want)
Mage: I try and determine the what are thoses runes.
Mage: Rolls his dice
Mage: Shi....t (I don't remember the result, but it was bad)
Dm: You determine that the runes in the chest are fire runes
Mage: Run for it! Fire runes!
Cleric: Looks in the chest, picks up a rabit
Cleric: Fire runes? where? (I didn't even attemps my check, I guess I just place A with B here)

Since then, everytime we meet those runes, he runs away crying to get out of the way. The dm latter told us that theses were of course, cold runes.
The_one_wit_a_reason
10-22-04, 03:40 PM dm-you walk in to room make make spot checks
dice rolls
wizard-i got a 13
dm-you dont see anything
cleric-i got a 21
dm-you dont see anything
fighter-i got a 5 :rofl:
monk- i got a 16
dm-nope
rogue- i got a 28
dm-make a trap sense trap check
dice rolls
rogue-i got a 14
dm-you sense a sudden heat coming from a hole in the sealing
rogue- :mymy: crap run!!!!!

last words said by the rogue, last words hurd by the monk wizard and cleric
Johnny Cache
10-24-04, 12:10 PM I was playing in a small Call of Chthulhu game - just me, the GM, and one other player. Early in the game, we explored an old barn arn chanced across some rats.

We both made critical failures on our sanity rolls, and ran screaming like little girls.

Towards the end of the scenario, we watched as an NPC transformed himself into an avatar of an Elder God.

We both made critical successes on our sanity rolls.

That's when the other player sneered at the avatar and said:
Oh, that's nothing. We've seen rats!The avatar was so nonplussed by our blasé reactions, we were able to escape and actually survive the adventure. :D
Neodymium
10-27-04, 04:29 AM "Does a 33 hit?" player of a 5th level paladin fighting a nondescript enemy soldier.
Particle_Man
10-27-04, 11:58 AM In a King Arthur game, where almost all players are Most Honourable Knights, but it is d20:

A: Someone has stolen the Queen's necklace!
B: But how could they have gotten past the guards?
A: Those dishonourable fiends must have been *hiding in shadows* and *moving silently*!
All: [cries and alarums]

[This has become a running gag in our game]
Ogre4Hire
10-27-04, 01:59 PM 13. PC: "I shout out 'Look! A three headed monkey!' and run away."

Ah, another person who enjoyed The Secret of Monkey Island.

"Ryan, for the last time, LEAVE THE MONKEY ALONE!"
While fighting a Dire Ape, in a campaign in which player Ryan made the mistake of mentioning that his character could summon a Celestial Monkey.

"Okay, who let one?" while we were busy being snuck out of a city in a giant barrel.
aikboy
10-27-04, 02:14 PM 23. I turned undead! how long do I stay undead? :rolleyes:
OMG lol :confused:
Particle_Man
10-28-04, 01:49 AM From my younger days:

Other PC Cleric finds push-button rod of fireballs, tries to sell at magic shoppe.
Shopkeeper: What does it do?
Cleric: This. [Pushes button].

Me as paladin, polymorphed into a toad. I have a cool magic sword that gives me giant strength.
me: can I pick up the sword pommel in my mouth and fight?
DM: No you are a weak little toad!
me: But I use the power of the sword! I have the strength of TEN toads!

Mystery campaign. We find halfling bodies and try to solve it. My character carries around a halfling body under his cloak and when interrogating people...
Me: Have you seen any dead halflings?
other: no.
Me: Have you ever seen THIS halfling? [brings body out from under cloak].

I'm better now. Really. :)
Corynth
10-28-04, 02:32 AM In a Vampire Game: Playing Smitty the Malkavian... Smitty was just your average looking teenager, except that he wore blood-soaked Spiderman Pajamas wherever he went. He had a teddybear filled with human entrails that he stroked lovingly, saying over and over again, "I love you Teddy."

D&D:

Thomen Barados (human barbarian) to one of the pirates that have just raided the ship he was on. He was bound to the mast...
T: Arr! Avast ye scurvy dogs!
P: Please tell me you're joking.
T: Arr! Ye be sendin me friends down to Davey Jones' locker.
P: I'm afraid that's very annoying. If you continue, I'll be forced to kill you.
T: Ye be wantin me booty, is that it? Ye'll not have a single coin, so says I!
Pirate shoves a sword into his mouth, sending it into his brain, killing him instantly... as he's walking away...
P: Arrr... heh.

Coryn Noctis (Human Cleric) after spending a night with a succubus, "She's got a tail. How did I miss that?" (He died shortly afterwards).

Zylshandess Oludamishen (elven sorcerer), after getting the brilliant idea of casting a fireball down a mine-shaft.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
algritz 10-21-04, 01:11 PM	My first 1001 thread :) (hope none had been done before on that topic) Let's list the memorable quotes from your games they can either be in play calls or out of play calls. If the quote needs an explaination on the context feel free to give it along the quote. Here's a few of ours 1. "Please leave your annihilation sphere at the entrace. You can take it back when you leave." - This was in a recent Drow game where my character had control over an annihilation sphere, I kept controlling it for a couple of hours. The wizards of the school of necromancy had quite a big suprise when I wanted to enter. At some point someone asked me to leave my annihilation sphere before entrering. Another player called this quote at that moment. 2. "Warning : exploding globlins nearby" - we had an encouter with goblins that had the strange behavoir of exploding when killed. Causing an acid explosion. lots of fun... 3. "Hey look it's a template bane dagger !!!" - Some time ago DM' a game where I wanted that the player use templates on their character, One of the player had the great idea to ask for a template bane dagguer as a magical item, which I refused. At some point in the game, that player found a magical dagger, without much inspection he called that quote... 4. Tsordax : Hi guys, don't mind me I'm just getting a coke..." - In my current game the players play the "evil guys" of a former game held by one of my players. Tsordax was the BBEG of that game. As the player (still level 1 are talking with BBEG #2, one of them realising whom they were talking too (in fact, it was the DM of the other game) said : "You see someone entering the room, a guy called Tsordax, saying : "Hi guys, don't mind me I'm just getting a coke..." If I manage to recall others, I'll post them.
xmcknight 10-21-04, 02:47 PM	I have quite a few. Here are just some: 5. Ranger - "A footorum, uh, horsehoots, uh, I mean a horse riding a soldier!" Me - "Are you trying to call the book of evil horses or something?" (The ranger was the only one who made his listen check to hear the sound of horses approching) 6. DM - "You see a triangle in the sky off in the distance" Paladin, dead serious, - "I shoot at it!" (The triangle in question was a mountain.) 7. Theif - "I'm not going to steal from a QUEEN! She isn't rich enough to steal from!"
Enalung 10-21-04, 05:44 PM	8. Monk: For Heironeous! Cleric of Ehlonna: You coward, leave that animal alone Monk: What did you say? ...
HidroliX 10-21-04, 06:00 PM	9.Dont die my paladin friend! i will take you to the temple cluster where a priest can revive you!! Paladin: Thank you, I only got 4hp left! Roqeu: stabs him to dead... well 4 hp is no problem!!! i take his boots and gold :) (PC killers :nonono: )
Ph33r_the_Wheelchair 10-21-04, 06:23 PM	10. Paladin: They're only gibberlings. (he died) 11. Paladin and party's Evil Cleric: Let's see what happens when we try to turn/rebuke these skeletons at the same time! (you know what happens? They explode)
The_EvilDungeon_Master 10-21-04, 09:13 PM	12. Rogue: "Hey guys... since when do large, red, scaled rocks start... uh.. blowing flame?" 13. PC: "I shout out 'Look! A three headed monkey!' and run away."
Felonious Monk 10-22-04, 02:19 AM	"I'm about to do something brilliant!" -party fighter/sorcerer before doing something invariably stupid.
Pentavite of the Flames 10-22-04, 03:46 AM	A DM with a slip of the tounge made the King announce to his hall: My lords, as we stand here tonight, we constitute an axis of evil! The DM had ment to say 'axis of slaying evil', but by then we'd already killed him.
pentagonal_penguin 10-22-04, 03:57 AM	(To embaress the guilty, player numbers are the same from quote to quote) 16. DM: "Are you sure you can do that in one round?" (Grab the unconcious Player2, drag him out the door and close the door) Player1: "I think so. Lets see, 1 round is 6 seconds...Player2, can you lie on the floor for a second please?" Player2 lies down on the floor. Player1 tries a couple of times to grab Player2 and drag him out the door in 6 seconds, while Player3 times them. Players 3 and 4 and the DM watch incredulously. (End result, can drag him out but not close the door.) 17. (After finding some Drow doing evil things, and slaughtering them.) Player3 (Paladin) - "Start Digging!" Players 1,2,DM - :confused: Player4 (who got it) - "TO THE UNDERDARK!" Players 1,2,DM - :eek: 18. "Does the blackguard have pointy ears?" 19. Player3 (same paladin) - "Wait! I figured out the trap! Whenever you tread on a tile in one of the rows with..." DM - Wait! Int check. Player3 rolls a 1 Player3 - "... ugg" 20. (Level 4 party) DM - "Well, i don't have the stats for these undead, so..." Player3 recites skeleton template Player3 recites zombie template Player4 recites dracolich template DM, who is writing them down, - "Wait a minute. WHAT?" 21. Party finds a chest in a room containing a large bed. (Ogre mage size). The chest is under the bed. Whenever someone touches it, 1d6 blast of cold. DM (Different campaign, player4 from above) - chuckles - "I can't wait to see you try casting at it" Player3 (gnomish wizard) - "Ok. Everyone, let's leave the room" Gnome stands in doorway, casts magic missile at chest, barbarian pulls him aside after casting. DM, grinning - "You hear a thunderous detonation. When you re-enter the room, you find no bed, no furniture. The room is clear, except for a thick sheet of ice on walls, floor and ceiling.
TheBard 10-22-04, 07:25 AM	22.) Our Half-Orc Barbarian, standing in front of an adamantine tower under our control with a closed door, surrounded by driders and spiders: "I go into rage ... (thinks a moment) ... and knock the door!"
HidroliX 10-22-04, 10:56 AM	23. I turned undead! how long do I stay undead? :rolleyes:
Kittencaboodle 10-22-04, 11:14 AM	http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=304933 :schemes:
Enalung 10-22-04, 11:20 AM	24. Dm: The room contains 2 chest, a table and some other kitchen furniture. A fire burns in the corner. Rogue: I drag a chest back to the eating room. Rogue: I try and search for a trap. Dm: Chest is not traped Rogue: I open it Dm: You find some strange runes in the chest, it feels cold, there's different kinds of meat inside. (It's a refrigirator of sort if you want) Mage: I try and determine the what are thoses runes. Mage: Rolls his dice Mage: Shi....t (I don't remember the result, but it was bad) Dm: You determine that the runes in the chest are fire runes Mage: Run for it! Fire runes! Cleric: Looks in the chest, picks up a rabit Cleric: Fire runes? where? (I didn't even attemps my check, I guess I just place A with B here) Since then, everytime we meet those runes, he runs away crying to get out of the way. The dm latter told us that theses were of course, cold runes.
The_one_wit_a_reason 10-22-04, 03:40 PM	dm-you walk in to room make make spot checks dice rolls wizard-i got a 13 dm-you dont see anything cleric-i got a 21 dm-you dont see anything fighter-i got a 5 :rofl: monk- i got a 16 dm-nope rogue- i got a 28 dm-make a trap sense trap check dice rolls rogue-i got a 14 dm-you sense a sudden heat coming from a hole in the sealing rogue- :mymy: crap run!!!!! last words said by the rogue, last words hurd by the monk wizard and cleric
Johnny Cache 10-24-04, 12:10 PM	I was playing in a small Call of Chthulhu game - just me, the GM, and one other player. Early in the game, we explored an old barn arn chanced across some rats. We both made critical failures on our sanity rolls, and ran screaming like little girls. Towards the end of the scenario, we watched as an NPC transformed himself into an avatar of an Elder God. We both made critical successes on our sanity rolls. That's when the other player sneered at the avatar and said: Oh, that's nothing. We've seen rats!The avatar was so nonplussed by our blasé reactions, we were able to escape and actually survive the adventure. :D
Neodymium 10-27-04, 04:29 AM	"Does a 33 hit?" player of a 5th level paladin fighting a nondescript enemy soldier.
Particle_Man 10-27-04, 11:58 AM	In a King Arthur game, where almost all players are Most Honourable Knights, but it is d20: A: Someone has stolen the Queen's necklace! B: But how could they have gotten past the guards? A: Those dishonourable fiends must have been hiding in shadows and moving silently! All: [cries and alarums] [This has become a running gag in our game]
Ogre4Hire 10-27-04, 01:59 PM	13. PC: "I shout out 'Look! A three headed monkey!' and run away." Ah, another person who enjoyed The Secret of Monkey Island. "Ryan, for the last time, LEAVE THE MONKEY ALONE!" While fighting a Dire Ape, in a campaign in which player Ryan made the mistake of mentioning that his character could summon a Celestial Monkey. "Okay, who let one?" while we were busy being snuck out of a city in a giant barrel.
aikboy 10-27-04, 02:14 PM	23. I turned undead! how long do I stay undead? :rolleyes: OMG lol :confused:
Particle_Man 10-28-04, 01:49 AM	From my younger days: Other PC Cleric finds push-button rod of fireballs, tries to sell at magic shoppe. Shopkeeper: What does it do? Cleric: This. [Pushes button]. Me as paladin, polymorphed into a toad. I have a cool magic sword that gives me giant strength. me: can I pick up the sword pommel in my mouth and fight? DM: No you are a weak little toad! me: But I use the power of the sword! I have the strength of TEN toads! Mystery campaign. We find halfling bodies and try to solve it. My character carries around a halfling body under his cloak and when interrogating people... Me: Have you seen any dead halflings? other: no. Me: Have you ever seen THIS halfling? [brings body out from under cloak]. I'm better now. Really. :)
Corynth 10-28-04, 02:32 AM	In a Vampire Game: Playing Smitty the Malkavian... Smitty was just your average looking teenager, except that he wore blood-soaked Spiderman Pajamas wherever he went. He had a teddybear filled with human entrails that he stroked lovingly, saying over and over again, "I love you Teddy." D&D: Thomen Barados (human barbarian) to one of the pirates that have just raided the ship he was on. He was bound to the mast... T: Arr! Avast ye scurvy dogs! P: Please tell me you're joking. T: Arr! Ye be sendin me friends down to Davey Jones' locker. P: I'm afraid that's very annoying. If you continue, I'll be forced to kill you. T: Ye be wantin me booty, is that it? Ye'll not have a single coin, so says I! Pirate shoves a sword into his mouth, sending it into his brain, killing him instantly... as he's walking away... P: Arrr... heh. Coryn Noctis (Human Cleric) after spending a night with a succubus, "She's got a tail. How did I miss that?" (He died shortly afterwards). Zylshandess Oludamishen (elven sorcerer), after getting the brilliant idea of casting a fireball down a mine-shaft.