1001 Signs You Have Been Playing Too Much D&D [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 Signs You Have Been Playing Too Much D&D [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
DemonDragonJ
08-18-05, 07:01 PM I love playing D&D, but even it, as with any good thing, can become dangerous if you become obssessed with it. I have here a list of comical things that may happen to you if you play too much D&D.

1. When the shcool bully threatens to beat you, you point your finger at him and yell, "I cast (insert spell here)!"

2. When the teacher gives the class a pop quiz, you ask, "don't we get a saving throw?"

3. You try to fly and/or teleport to saftey when being pursued by bullies/street thugs/etc.

4. When playing hide and seek, you try to shapeshift into another form to avoid detection.

5. You claim that you can walk on water/walk on air/walk on lava/perform other dangerous task without harm.

6. When playing dodge ball in gym class, you are surprised when your "evasion" fails.

7. When someone annoys you, you attempt to cast baleful polymorph on them.

8. When someone annoys you, you say "don't make me sic my pet tarrasque on you!"

9. You carry around a pouch of dice on your belt and claim that it is a pouch containing the material components for your spells.

10. You are on first name terms with Gary Gygax.

11. Gary Gygax has a restraining order against you.

12. You own every D&D book ever printed.

13. You have memorized every D&D book ever printed. :D

Any additions will be much appreciated.
Teslonomikon
08-18-05, 08:09 PM You make a thread called '1001 Signs You Have Been Playing Too Much D&D'.
DM_RoamingGnome
08-18-05, 08:23 PM 14. You get off the bus on your first day of high school and yell, "WOOHOO! Level 9!"

15. You're in line for lunch, and when the lunch lady asks for something called a dollar, you ask, "You don't take copper pieces?"

16. Your friend says, "This crap looks disgusting!" and you immediately say, "You're gonna need to make a Will save."

Kinda stupid, I'm new, being a new DM, so it's gonna take a while. First post!
CryoSilver
08-18-05, 09:56 PM 17. Your friend says he's going to beat you up and you yell "Make an attack roll, pansy!"

18. Your D&D books weigh more than you do.

19. You look at your character sheets and notes for inspiration to write school reports.
thinkhard
08-18-05, 10:20 PM 20. Your dating life revolves on game days
BloodGod
08-18-05, 10:45 PM You and your friend try to decide who has the higher real life intellegence and wisdom scores as you walk to first period gym class. Sadly, I **** you not, I really did this.

-BG
Dalar Ragnos
08-19-05, 12:42 AM 22. You manage to assign Int, Wis, and Cha scores to all of your close friends, and even figure out what class they would be.

23. You tell them what Int, Wis, and Cha scores you think they have. ;)
Board_Rider
08-19-05, 01:09 AM 18. Your D&D books weigh more than you do.

Is that possible with gamers? :)

#??
When someone asks "What?" when you say something you nudge a buddy and say "Someone has a low listen check!!"
Herald of Jupiter
08-19-05, 06:48 AM 23. The bully punches you, you get hurt and start cursing your 'low AC'.
24. You try to fly into a Rage when you get mad, claiming that you get bonuses to strength
Fading away
08-19-05, 07:58 AM 25. You curse the d20 every time something goes wrong

26. When you curse yourself for not taking a certain feat at your first level.

27. When you try to figure out how much damage you took when you get hurt

28. When you blame your low WIS score for not seeing the ball coming at you.

29. When you realize that high INT score isn't much good for will saves, and then curse your low WIS score.

30. Whenever you try to shoot bow and arrow, and miss, you start raving about your patethic DEX score
Lennart
08-19-05, 11:29 AM #31 Monk me> In Karate class you actually flurry of blow and Ki strike your teacher.

#32 Barbarian me> in school you fly in to a rage and bull rush the bully right true the (closed) door.

#33 Rogue me> Your in the cafeteria a friend tells you he got whacked in the face by the same bully (2 days later) you succeed a hide check behind the door and sneak attack him with a pen.(got me in a lot of troubles)

#34 Fighter me> You get in a fight with the bully, grab a broom and beat him up with it because you have Exotic weapon profency: Cleaning tools, two handed.

#35 Wizard me> you use your Alchemy to make itching powder put it in your spell component pouch sneak it in to the bully’s jacket and Call it Lennart Crazy Itch.

#36 Cleric me> you succeed heal check and hymlick a little kid.

#37 Paladin me> You deck the bully in one punch cuz you used Smite unholy A hole.

#38 Sorcerer me> Tour bragging to a friend you can do power word deafness he agrees to test it on his dog you pick up his hear and yell GO DEAF!!!!!!!and after this the dog won’t obey his master’s commands…neither does the master of the dog respond when you call him.

#39 Bard me> your in a bar with a couple of friends one of them is shy and you inspire him to walk up to the girl of his dreams and talk… they leave together (I also Inspired a certain shy girl I knew that a certain guy I know really IS interested In her and that if he comes over she should at least try and talk to him) ;)

#40 Druid me> Friends keep giving you (almost) dead plants because you give them back alive and well in about 1 or 3 days.(went to gardeners school)

#41 Ranger me> A friend got lost during a Fox Hunt(not real foxes it is a game you play in a Forrest using mobile phones and clues) his brother asked me to help looking and you actually track him down.

I am a DM and i get to play a lot of charectes

I might have Dramaticized it a little and some of them where lucky shots but it did happen…I S**t you not.

Good day, Happy Over gaming and freedom from stupidity.

Lennart the title less one
AlexVADnD
08-19-05, 12:50 PM #42 When you spend all afternoon at work clicking the refresh button to see if any new posts look worth reading...
Tilden Dyer
08-19-05, 01:06 PM 43.) When you reach middle-age and realize you haven't been physically intimate with anyone but yourself.
Gwenfloor
08-19-05, 03:57 PM 44.) When you walk up to a shopkeeper, and say "I ask her what she's selling."
Roreck
08-19-05, 04:06 PM Is that possible with gamers?

actually it is. I only wiegh 120lbs. Idk how much a book wieghs but I would bet every DnD book published wieghs more than me.

43.) When you reach middle-age and realize you haven't been physically intimate with anyone but yourself.

I am half way there (me = 19) woot

45) when you know the rules better than the DM and he/she uses you as the SRD.
which leads to...

46) you call yourself the SRP (system reference person).

47) you stoped reading the PHB because you know it by heart.

saddly I am number 45 -47 and proud of it.

just thought of some more:

48) You try to learn a fantasy language (elvan, orc, etc.)

49) you are successful at number 48 and are now fluent
Bruunwald
08-19-05, 04:12 PM 50. Your wife knows what feats/skills and attack modes are used by any character in any scene of any book, movie or TV show because you very geekily pointed it out to her so many times.
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon
08-19-05, 05:49 PM My books now equal about half my weight. I am small for my age.

51) You flee from small children because you think they are elder gods.

52)They turn out to actually be elder gods. :eek:
CryoSilver
08-19-05, 05:56 PM My books weigh almost 70 pounds, all told; half my weight, but I'm working at both.
ragingmaro
08-19-05, 06:00 PM 44.) When you walk up to a shopkeeper, and say "I ask her what she's selling."

You talk to everyone like that.

When trying to get a date you say

" I say hi to her
What does she say?"
skywyze
08-19-05, 06:17 PM 53. You do/have done all of the above and all of the things to come... In a single 24-hour period.
54. You ask a plastic surgeon if he can cut your ears to make them pointy, like an elf.
55. When that fails, you ask him if he will graft metal plates onto your body cause you wanna be a warforged.
56. You get angry at movies like Elf for portraying elves as tiny and dumb...
57. ...And start a riot fighting for elven rights.
58. You stumble across a drop-dead gorgeous woman and try to impress her by saying, "You look like one of the women from my D&D books."
59. You go nowhere without your trusty bow. Of course, state law prevents you from carrying any arrows, but appearances count.
60. You spend an entire 24-hour period designing a magic item, tirelessly working to perfect it, mechanics wise.
61. Your D&D group kicks you out for being too nerdy.
Nived
08-19-05, 06:52 PM 62) If you've coughed up your own blood at the game table, but you kept the game running anyway.

63) If you've ever after achiving a difficult task fist pumped in the air and shouted "Nat twenty!"

64) If you've ever mistakenly called a friend by their character's name.

65) If when asked to describe a real person to a gaming friend you do it in game terms "Well he's high Int low Wis, decent dex, low str, not sure on con. He has a lot of ranks in bluff though so watch it."
Tyler Do'Urden
08-19-05, 07:17 PM 66) Someone complains about not having the sourcebook a specific class is in and you type up the description, table, and class feature descriptions from memory and wonder why everyone keeps looking at you like that.

67) You return from your back yard and declare "the sling is not a simple weapon."
PinkVishnu
08-19-05, 10:47 PM I weight about 115 myself. Then again, I'm not even 5'7".

68.) You wonder what the CR is for that big guy sitting in your favorite chair.

69.) When someone does badly on a test you tell them, "That's OK... Neanderthals have a -2 penalty to intelligence."
Trevor Goodchild
08-20-05, 02:05 AM 69: During a probability unit, the dice question comes up and you can't help but yell, "How many sides does it have?"

70: You ask the tattoo artist to imbue you with a Energy Ray

71: You argue with your friend who also plays too much Dnd about whether Sub-Zero and Scorpion are Psychic Warriors or Fists of Zuoken.
Arden Blackleaf
08-20-05, 09:20 AM 72. Your involved in 7 online games and have 4 more on the waiting list.

73. You dream up characters in your sleep.

74. You have almost the whole campaign setting memorized. ((Not word for word but just general stuff))

75. You've discovered you have hidden D&D knowledge that pours out of your brain.

76.You have five diffrent gaming sites that you attend.

77.You check said sites hourly for new games.

78.You use In-game expressions in real life.

79. You've corrupted a family member in the ways of Eberron.

Im guilty of every single one of these.
Lennart
08-20-05, 01:29 PM #80 You’re bragging on the message boards about your weight to book ratio. :rimshot:
Prak, the Mad
08-20-05, 04:11 PM 56. You get angry at movies like Elf for portraying elves as tiny and dumb...
57. ...And start a riot fighting for elven rights.
60. You spend an entire 24-hour period designing a magic item, tirelessly working to perfect it, mechanics wise.

:clap:props, hell yeah. got all of those.

69: During a probability unit, the dice question comes up and you can't help but yell, "How many sides does it have?"

yes, hell yes, I actually did.
green_yawgmoth
08-20-05, 04:41 PM 19. You look at your character sheets and notes for inspiration to write school reports.
There is nothing wrong with this; character backstories make excellent fodder for creative writing courses.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Tuah Shinguru
08-20-05, 04:46 PM 22. You manage to assign Int, Wis, and Cha scores to all of your close friends, and even figure out what class they would be.

23. You tell them what Int, Wis, and Cha scores you think they have. ;)

Guilty of both.
Wraithburn
08-20-05, 04:59 PM 81.) You call for a Move Silently check while sneaking upstairs during the middle of the night to raid the freezer for ice cream.

82.) Tell your family memeber to make a fortitude saving throw to avoid choking on the powdered sugar that is on top of that lethal lemon square.

Both happened to my cousin, my brother, and I one night after a 6 hour session. I laughed so hard.
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon
08-20-05, 11:42 PM 56. You get angry at movies like Elf for portraying elves as tiny and dumb...

Guilty. I hate tiny elves. Tall elves are cool.
death_hand_of
08-21-05, 03:04 AM Hey. I don't know much about D&D, only it's the bestgame in the world! Only played 3 times. Haven't got into the new D&D yet.

I'm in year 10. I like pokemon. No body else my age does. I'm the only true stereotypical nerd in my school. 95% in my maths half yearly, topped the year. 100% in my last topic test (hope I don't sound too nerdy) Study my ass off.
SonsOfKyuss
08-22-05, 12:08 AM 83. You take the time to read this entire thread, just to see how many signs you match.
Manyfist
08-22-05, 12:20 AM 84.) You know you've been playing too much D&D, when you... Charge the wall with a Broom Stick, and after hitting the wall, wait awhile to see the damage you've done in Numbers appear then dissapear.

85.) You know you've been playing too much D&D, when you... actually see the numbers.

86.) You know you've been playing too much D&D, when you... make a Crit. against the wall. :D
Fading away
08-22-05, 02:54 AM 56. You get angry at movies like Elf for portraying elves as tiny and dumb...

All grey elves fan would, and as one of them, I say 'Burn them all'

87) When you count the hours to your next session

88) When you sleep with a dice under your pillow

89) and dream you're a half dragon

90) When you sleep with your books by your bed

91) and read them when you can't fall asleep.
Herald of Jupiter
08-22-05, 04:13 AM 90) When you sleep with your books by your bed

91) and read them when you can't fall asleep.
If that is a crime sir, well then I am GUILTY as charged!
Hell, I even came up with a background story on a Half-Elf fighter at 2 a.m. this morning ;)
melp
08-22-05, 04:30 AM A friend did this, so I gotta post these:

92) If you are fortunate enough to be intimate with someone, but before things get to far, you stop, grab a d20 and roll a perform check. (would that be profession or perform check?)

93) You roll a 1 and stop the activity...
SonsOfKyuss
08-22-05, 05:28 AM 92) If you are fortunate enough to be intimate with someone, but before things get to far, you stop, grab a d20 and roll a perform check. (would that be profession or perform check?)

Well, for the average gamer, usually it's the "someone" who needs to make the "profession" check. Just don't try to pay with copper pieces... :rimshot:

Sorry, lame joke I know, but at this time of night it's the best I can do.
Kothardarastrix
08-22-05, 07:47 AM A friend did this, so I gotta post these:

92) If you are fortunate enough to be intimate with someone, but before things get to far, you stop, grab a d20 and roll a perform check. (would that be profession or perform check?)

93) You roll a 1 and stop the activity...
Well By the Book of Erotic fantasy it's a Perform(Sexual Acts) Check

94) During the probability unit you actually have enough sets of dice in your backpack for everyone in your thirty person class, as well as the teacher and the teacher assisstant.

95) Because of you everyone completes the class work an hour and fifteen minutes earlier, and thus have time for a D&D game.(We're allowed to help people with their work after we're done)

Does this make me pathetic? :confused:
Vicki Cadae
08-22-05, 08:13 AM 96) As you walk through your kitchen, you start working out what the DC is for your will save vs. chocolate.
(10, with a -2 penalty to your roll if you're hungry, distressed or dieting. These penalties stack.)
A Bigmouth Bard
08-22-05, 09:02 AM 90) When you sleep with your books by your bed

91) and read them when you can't fall asleep.

Everynight man, everynight. :D

96) As you walk through your kitchen, you start working out what the DC is for your will save vs. chocolate.
(10, with a -2 penalty to your roll if you're hungry, distressed or dieting. These penalties stack.)

I'd win this check most of the time! :D

#97. You read every forum from here to Kingdom Come.

#98. You bring snacks and a sleeping bag to the computer because you're doing #97.

#99. You take the time to think up posts for this thread.

#100. You are doing #99 and you notice the commercials on TV. :eek:

#101. You are doing #99 and you have the time to watch "Dora the Explorer". :eek: :eek:

Don't ask where I got these please... :embarrass

Edit: #102. Your brother reads this post and asks you to change the channel because he hates that show. :D :D
Dark_Druid
08-22-05, 10:22 AM #103 - You have a shelving in your bathroom with a complete "back-up" set of corebooks which you read during all bathroom activities be it a 45 second trip or a 45 minute one.

#104 - That set is laminated pages so you can read while in the shower too.

#105 - You bug your gf to play D&D all the time.

#106 - Your gf dangles the notion of sex instead and you still persist on playing D&D.

#107 - You are lured into the act instead of D&D and afterwards accuse her of being a high powered Sucubus.

#108 - She actually is.
Sakaki22
08-22-05, 10:45 AM 109) If you find yourself unable to decide what to do at any given situation, you just roll 5d4 and wait six seconds.
Kels Hells
08-22-05, 11:44 AM 110) You get sick... assume you had failed your Fortitude save miserably... and hope that your Reflex save allows you to make it to the toilet in time...
mathogre
08-22-05, 12:03 PM Originally Posted by CryoSilver
18. Your D&D books weigh more than you do.
Is that possible with gamers? :)
Some of us have a low BMI. :cool:
sparticus_eleisum
08-22-05, 01:27 PM #108 - She actually is.

Guilty:(

What can I do?, she is cutest thing;)
mathogre
08-22-05, 04:05 PM 111. You categorize your cow-orkers and bosses by alignments, and agonize over whether a particularly egregious act was just stupid or cause for an alignment change to Evil.
death_hand_of
08-22-05, 11:24 PM you know you've been playing too much d&d when you try to get to forgotten realms.
skywyze
08-23-05, 01:06 AM 113. You rob a bank to buy new D&D books...
114. During the escape, you open your bag of d4s knowing that they'll work as caltrops and reasoning that most commoners have low hps.
115. You gauge the attractiveness of potential dating partners based solely on whether they play D&D, and whether they can be persuaded to do so.
116. You want to be a drow so bad that you look for a surgeon able to give you that sleek drow look.
117. You buy a ritualistic looking dagger for the purpose of human sacrifice to Lolth.
118. Your desktop has a picture of Ye Olde Drowe Wenche wearing a chain mail bikini.
119. You take programming classes at the university solely to be able to make the ultimate D&D character generator.
spoogemonkey
08-23-05, 05:35 PM When asked if a girl you know is hot.... you respond by saying... "she's about a 17 comliness"...

You are complaining to your friends about the meal you just ate at Chilis costing "20 gold"... they tease you and you SWEAR you said "Dollars"..... but they are all laughing and sniggering at you... even though they play, too.
(there is a reason that this one sounds realistic)
RogerWilco
08-23-05, 06:23 PM #121 everytime one of your friends spills/drops something you shout "dex check failed!"
DuskyFruit
08-24-05, 05:26 AM Originally posted by: Manyfist
86.) You know you've been playing too much D&D, when you... make a Crit. against the wall.

NOOO only a newbie would do that, a wall isn't alive and is therefore not subject to critical hits (does this count as number 122? I think it does)

123: Accusing your friends of metagaming in real life

124: Deem all of your friends by their result of the D&D character test

125: Deem anyone by their result of the character test, requiring them to take the test before you interract with them

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
DemonDragonJ 08-18-05, 07:01 PM	I love playing D&D, but even it, as with any good thing, can become dangerous if you become obssessed with it. I have here a list of comical things that may happen to you if you play too much D&D. 1. When the shcool bully threatens to beat you, you point your finger at him and yell, "I cast (insert spell here)!" 2. When the teacher gives the class a pop quiz, you ask, "don't we get a saving throw?" 3. You try to fly and/or teleport to saftey when being pursued by bullies/street thugs/etc. 4. When playing hide and seek, you try to shapeshift into another form to avoid detection. 5. You claim that you can walk on water/walk on air/walk on lava/perform other dangerous task without harm. 6. When playing dodge ball in gym class, you are surprised when your "evasion" fails. 7. When someone annoys you, you attempt to cast baleful polymorph on them. 8. When someone annoys you, you say "don't make me sic my pet tarrasque on you!" 9. You carry around a pouch of dice on your belt and claim that it is a pouch containing the material components for your spells. 10. You are on first name terms with Gary Gygax. 11. Gary Gygax has a restraining order against you. 12. You own every D&D book ever printed. 13. You have memorized every D&D book ever printed. :D Any additions will be much appreciated.
Teslonomikon 08-18-05, 08:09 PM	You make a thread called '1001 Signs You Have Been Playing Too Much D&D'.
DM_RoamingGnome 08-18-05, 08:23 PM	14. You get off the bus on your first day of high school and yell, "WOOHOO! Level 9!" 15. You're in line for lunch, and when the lunch lady asks for something called a dollar, you ask, "You don't take copper pieces?" 16. Your friend says, "This crap looks disgusting!" and you immediately say, "You're gonna need to make a Will save." Kinda stupid, I'm new, being a new DM, so it's gonna take a while. First post!
CryoSilver 08-18-05, 09:56 PM	17. Your friend says he's going to beat you up and you yell "Make an attack roll, pansy!" 18. Your D&D books weigh more than you do. 19. You look at your character sheets and notes for inspiration to write school reports.
thinkhard 08-18-05, 10:20 PM	20. Your dating life revolves on game days
BloodGod 08-18-05, 10:45 PM	You and your friend try to decide who has the higher real life intellegence and wisdom scores as you walk to first period gym class. Sadly, I **** you not, I really did this. -BG
Dalar Ragnos 08-19-05, 12:42 AM	22. You manage to assign Int, Wis, and Cha scores to all of your close friends, and even figure out what class they would be. 23. You tell them what Int, Wis, and Cha scores you think they have. ;)
Board_Rider 08-19-05, 01:09 AM	18. Your D&D books weigh more than you do. Is that possible with gamers? :) #?? When someone asks "What?" when you say something you nudge a buddy and say "Someone has a low listen check!!"
Herald of Jupiter 08-19-05, 06:48 AM	23. The bully punches you, you get hurt and start cursing your 'low AC'. 24. You try to fly into a Rage when you get mad, claiming that you get bonuses to strength
Fading away 08-19-05, 07:58 AM	25. You curse the d20 every time something goes wrong 26. When you curse yourself for not taking a certain feat at your first level. 27. When you try to figure out how much damage you took when you get hurt 28. When you blame your low WIS score for not seeing the ball coming at you. 29. When you realize that high INT score isn't much good for will saves, and then curse your low WIS score. 30. Whenever you try to shoot bow and arrow, and miss, you start raving about your patethic DEX score
Lennart 08-19-05, 11:29 AM	#31 Monk me> In Karate class you actually flurry of blow and Ki strike your teacher. #32 Barbarian me> in school you fly in to a rage and bull rush the bully right true the (closed) door. #33 Rogue me> Your in the cafeteria a friend tells you he got whacked in the face by the same bully (2 days later) you succeed a hide check behind the door and sneak attack him with a pen.(got me in a lot of troubles) #34 Fighter me> You get in a fight with the bully, grab a broom and beat him up with it because you have Exotic weapon profency: Cleaning tools, two handed. #35 Wizard me> you use your Alchemy to make itching powder put it in your spell component pouch sneak it in to the bully’s jacket and Call it Lennart Crazy Itch. #36 Cleric me> you succeed heal check and hymlick a little kid. #37 Paladin me> You deck the bully in one punch cuz you used Smite unholy A hole. #38 Sorcerer me> Tour bragging to a friend you can do power word deafness he agrees to test it on his dog you pick up his hear and yell GO DEAF!!!!!!!and after this the dog won’t obey his master’s commands…neither does the master of the dog respond when you call him. #39 Bard me> your in a bar with a couple of friends one of them is shy and you inspire him to walk up to the girl of his dreams and talk… they leave together (I also Inspired a certain shy girl I knew that a certain guy I know really IS interested In her and that if he comes over she should at least try and talk to him) ;) #40 Druid me> Friends keep giving you (almost) dead plants because you give them back alive and well in about 1 or 3 days.(went to gardeners school) #41 Ranger me> A friend got lost during a Fox Hunt(not real foxes it is a game you play in a Forrest using mobile phones and clues) his brother asked me to help looking and you actually track him down. I am a DM and i get to play a lot of charectes I might have Dramaticized it a little and some of them where lucky shots but it did happen…I S**t you not. Good day, Happy Over gaming and freedom from stupidity. Lennart the title less one
AlexVADnD 08-19-05, 12:50 PM	#42 When you spend all afternoon at work clicking the refresh button to see if any new posts look worth reading...
Tilden Dyer 08-19-05, 01:06 PM	43.) When you reach middle-age and realize you haven't been physically intimate with anyone but yourself.
Gwenfloor 08-19-05, 03:57 PM	44.) When you walk up to a shopkeeper, and say "I ask her what she's selling."
Roreck 08-19-05, 04:06 PM	Is that possible with gamers? actually it is. I only wiegh 120lbs. Idk how much a book wieghs but I would bet every DnD book published wieghs more than me. 43.) When you reach middle-age and realize you haven't been physically intimate with anyone but yourself. I am half way there (me = 19) woot 45) when you know the rules better than the DM and he/she uses you as the SRD. which leads to... 46) you call yourself the SRP (system reference person). 47) you stoped reading the PHB because you know it by heart. saddly I am number 45 -47 and proud of it. just thought of some more: 48) You try to learn a fantasy language (elvan, orc, etc.) 49) you are successful at number 48 and are now fluent
Bruunwald 08-19-05, 04:12 PM	50. Your wife knows what feats/skills and attack modes are used by any character in any scene of any book, movie or TV show because you very geekily pointed it out to her so many times.
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon 08-19-05, 05:49 PM	My books now equal about half my weight. I am small for my age. 51) You flee from small children because you think they are elder gods. 52)They turn out to actually be elder gods. :eek:
CryoSilver 08-19-05, 05:56 PM	My books weigh almost 70 pounds, all told; half my weight, but I'm working at both.
ragingmaro 08-19-05, 06:00 PM	44.) When you walk up to a shopkeeper, and say "I ask her what she's selling." You talk to everyone like that. When trying to get a date you say " I say hi to her What does she say?"
skywyze 08-19-05, 06:17 PM	53. You do/have done all of the above and all of the things to come... In a single 24-hour period. 54. You ask a plastic surgeon if he can cut your ears to make them pointy, like an elf. 55. When that fails, you ask him if he will graft metal plates onto your body cause you wanna be a warforged. 56. You get angry at movies like Elf for portraying elves as tiny and dumb... 57. ...And start a riot fighting for elven rights. 58. You stumble across a drop-dead gorgeous woman and try to impress her by saying, "You look like one of the women from my D&D books." 59. You go nowhere without your trusty bow. Of course, state law prevents you from carrying any arrows, but appearances count. 60. You spend an entire 24-hour period designing a magic item, tirelessly working to perfect it, mechanics wise. 61. Your D&D group kicks you out for being too nerdy.
Nived 08-19-05, 06:52 PM	62) If you've coughed up your own blood at the game table, but you kept the game running anyway. 63) If you've ever after achiving a difficult task fist pumped in the air and shouted "Nat twenty!" 64) If you've ever mistakenly called a friend by their character's name. 65) If when asked to describe a real person to a gaming friend you do it in game terms "Well he's high Int low Wis, decent dex, low str, not sure on con. He has a lot of ranks in bluff though so watch it."
Tyler Do'Urden 08-19-05, 07:17 PM	66) Someone complains about not having the sourcebook a specific class is in and you type up the description, table, and class feature descriptions from memory and wonder why everyone keeps looking at you like that. 67) You return from your back yard and declare "the sling is not a simple weapon."
PinkVishnu 08-19-05, 10:47 PM	I weight about 115 myself. Then again, I'm not even 5'7". 68.) You wonder what the CR is for that big guy sitting in your favorite chair. 69.) When someone does badly on a test you tell them, "That's OK... Neanderthals have a -2 penalty to intelligence."
Trevor Goodchild 08-20-05, 02:05 AM	69: During a probability unit, the dice question comes up and you can't help but yell, "How many sides does it have?" 70: You ask the tattoo artist to imbue you with a Energy Ray 71: You argue with your friend who also plays too much Dnd about whether Sub-Zero and Scorpion are Psychic Warriors or Fists of Zuoken.
Arden Blackleaf 08-20-05, 09:20 AM	72. Your involved in 7 online games and have 4 more on the waiting list. 73. You dream up characters in your sleep. 74. You have almost the whole campaign setting memorized. ((Not word for word but just general stuff)) 75. You've discovered you have hidden D&D knowledge that pours out of your brain. 76.You have five diffrent gaming sites that you attend. 77.You check said sites hourly for new games. 78.You use In-game expressions in real life. 79. You've corrupted a family member in the ways of Eberron. Im guilty of every single one of these.
Lennart 08-20-05, 01:29 PM	#80 You’re bragging on the message boards about your weight to book ratio. :rimshot:
Prak, the Mad 08-20-05, 04:11 PM	56. You get angry at movies like Elf for portraying elves as tiny and dumb... 57. ...And start a riot fighting for elven rights. 60. You spend an entire 24-hour period designing a magic item, tirelessly working to perfect it, mechanics wise. :clap:props, hell yeah. got all of those. 69: During a probability unit, the dice question comes up and you can't help but yell, "How many sides does it have?" yes, hell yes, I actually did.
green_yawgmoth 08-20-05, 04:41 PM	19. You look at your character sheets and notes for inspiration to write school reports. There is nothing wrong with this; character backstories make excellent fodder for creative writing courses. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Tuah Shinguru 08-20-05, 04:46 PM	22. You manage to assign Int, Wis, and Cha scores to all of your close friends, and even figure out what class they would be. 23. You tell them what Int, Wis, and Cha scores you think they have. ;) Guilty of both.
Wraithburn 08-20-05, 04:59 PM	81.) You call for a Move Silently check while sneaking upstairs during the middle of the night to raid the freezer for ice cream. 82.) Tell your family memeber to make a fortitude saving throw to avoid choking on the powdered sugar that is on top of that lethal lemon square. Both happened to my cousin, my brother, and I one night after a 6 hour session. I laughed so hard.
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon 08-20-05, 11:42 PM	56. You get angry at movies like Elf for portraying elves as tiny and dumb... Guilty. I hate tiny elves. Tall elves are cool.
death_hand_of 08-21-05, 03:04 AM	Hey. I don't know much about D&D, only it's the bestgame in the world! Only played 3 times. Haven't got into the new D&D yet. I'm in year 10. I like pokemon. No body else my age does. I'm the only true stereotypical nerd in my school. 95% in my maths half yearly, topped the year. 100% in my last topic test (hope I don't sound too nerdy) Study my ass off.
SonsOfKyuss 08-22-05, 12:08 AM	83. You take the time to read this entire thread, just to see how many signs you match.
Manyfist 08-22-05, 12:20 AM	84.) You know you've been playing too much D&D, when you... Charge the wall with a Broom Stick, and after hitting the wall, wait awhile to see the damage you've done in Numbers appear then dissapear. 85.) You know you've been playing too much D&D, when you... actually see the numbers. 86.) You know you've been playing too much D&D, when you... make a Crit. against the wall. :D
Fading away 08-22-05, 02:54 AM	56. You get angry at movies like Elf for portraying elves as tiny and dumb... All grey elves fan would, and as one of them, I say 'Burn them all' 87) When you count the hours to your next session 88) When you sleep with a dice under your pillow 89) and dream you're a half dragon 90) When you sleep with your books by your bed 91) and read them when you can't fall asleep.
Herald of Jupiter 08-22-05, 04:13 AM	90) When you sleep with your books by your bed 91) and read them when you can't fall asleep. If that is a crime sir, well then I am GUILTY as charged! Hell, I even came up with a background story on a Half-Elf fighter at 2 a.m. this morning ;)
melp 08-22-05, 04:30 AM	A friend did this, so I gotta post these: 92) If you are fortunate enough to be intimate with someone, but before things get to far, you stop, grab a d20 and roll a perform check. (would that be profession or perform check?) 93) You roll a 1 and stop the activity...
SonsOfKyuss 08-22-05, 05:28 AM	92) If you are fortunate enough to be intimate with someone, but before things get to far, you stop, grab a d20 and roll a perform check. (would that be profession or perform check?) Well, for the average gamer, usually it's the "someone" who needs to make the "profession" check. Just don't try to pay with copper pieces... :rimshot: Sorry, lame joke I know, but at this time of night it's the best I can do.
Kothardarastrix 08-22-05, 07:47 AM	A friend did this, so I gotta post these: 92) If you are fortunate enough to be intimate with someone, but before things get to far, you stop, grab a d20 and roll a perform check. (would that be profession or perform check?) 93) You roll a 1 and stop the activity... Well By the Book of Erotic fantasy it's a Perform(Sexual Acts) Check 94) During the probability unit you actually have enough sets of dice in your backpack for everyone in your thirty person class, as well as the teacher and the teacher assisstant. 95) Because of you everyone completes the class work an hour and fifteen minutes earlier, and thus have time for a D&D game.(We're allowed to help people with their work after we're done) Does this make me pathetic? :confused:
Vicki Cadae 08-22-05, 08:13 AM	96) As you walk through your kitchen, you start working out what the DC is for your will save vs. chocolate. (10, with a -2 penalty to your roll if you're hungry, distressed or dieting. These penalties stack.)
A Bigmouth Bard 08-22-05, 09:02 AM	90) When you sleep with your books by your bed 91) and read them when you can't fall asleep. Everynight man, everynight. :D 96) As you walk through your kitchen, you start working out what the DC is for your will save vs. chocolate. (10, with a -2 penalty to your roll if you're hungry, distressed or dieting. These penalties stack.) I'd win this check most of the time! :D #97. You read every forum from here to Kingdom Come. #98. You bring snacks and a sleeping bag to the computer because you're doing #97. #99. You take the time to think up posts for this thread. #100. You are doing #99 and you notice the commercials on TV. :eek: #101. You are doing #99 and you have the time to watch "Dora the Explorer". :eek: :eek: Don't ask where I got these please... :embarrass Edit: #102. Your brother reads this post and asks you to change the channel because he hates that show. :D :D
Dark_Druid 08-22-05, 10:22 AM	#103 - You have a shelving in your bathroom with a complete "back-up" set of corebooks which you read during all bathroom activities be it a 45 second trip or a 45 minute one. #104 - That set is laminated pages so you can read while in the shower too. #105 - You bug your gf to play D&D all the time. #106 - Your gf dangles the notion of sex instead and you still persist on playing D&D. #107 - You are lured into the act instead of D&D and afterwards accuse her of being a high powered Sucubus. #108 - She actually is.
Sakaki22 08-22-05, 10:45 AM	109) If you find yourself unable to decide what to do at any given situation, you just roll 5d4 and wait six seconds.
Kels Hells 08-22-05, 11:44 AM	110) You get sick... assume you had failed your Fortitude save miserably... and hope that your Reflex save allows you to make it to the toilet in time...
mathogre 08-22-05, 12:03 PM	Originally Posted by CryoSilver 18. Your D&D books weigh more than you do. Is that possible with gamers? :) Some of us have a low BMI. :cool:
sparticus_eleisum 08-22-05, 01:27 PM	#108 - She actually is. Guilty:( What can I do?, she is cutest thing;)
mathogre 08-22-05, 04:05 PM	111. You categorize your cow-orkers and bosses by alignments, and agonize over whether a particularly egregious act was just stupid or cause for an alignment change to Evil.
death_hand_of 08-22-05, 11:24 PM	you know you've been playing too much d&d when you try to get to forgotten realms.
skywyze 08-23-05, 01:06 AM	113. You rob a bank to buy new D&D books... 114. During the escape, you open your bag of d4s knowing that they'll work as caltrops and reasoning that most commoners have low hps. 115. You gauge the attractiveness of potential dating partners based solely on whether they play D&D, and whether they can be persuaded to do so. 116. You want to be a drow so bad that you look for a surgeon able to give you that sleek drow look. 117. You buy a ritualistic looking dagger for the purpose of human sacrifice to Lolth. 118. Your desktop has a picture of Ye Olde Drowe Wenche wearing a chain mail bikini. 119. You take programming classes at the university solely to be able to make the ultimate D&D character generator.
spoogemonkey 08-23-05, 05:35 PM	When asked if a girl you know is hot.... you respond by saying... "she's about a 17 comliness"... You are complaining to your friends about the meal you just ate at Chilis costing "20 gold"... they tease you and you SWEAR you said "Dollars"..... but they are all laughing and sniggering at you... even though they play, too. (there is a reason that this one sounds realistic)
RogerWilco 08-23-05, 06:23 PM	#121 everytime one of your friends spills/drops something you shout "dex check failed!"
DuskyFruit 08-24-05, 05:26 AM	Originally posted by: Manyfist 86.) You know you've been playing too much D&D, when you... make a Crit. against the wall. NOOO only a newbie would do that, a wall isn't alive and is therefore not subject to critical hits (does this count as number 122? I think it does) 123: Accusing your friends of metagaming in real life 124: Deem all of your friends by their result of the D&D character test 125: Deem anyone by their result of the character test, requiring them to take the test before you interract with them