Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Draneth 11-20-06, 01:34 PM	Alright, so cats are cheap (as in free if you want to catch a stray one, or 2cp if you don't have the time). With a price like that, no character has a valid excuse for not buying one. Therefore, I must as the question: What would your character do with a cat? Surely cats have more uses than simply killing commoners, and I want to hear them. What uses do they serve in combat? How well can you throw one? What would you do with a cat swarm under your magical control? Anything! It has been stated that Cats in DND are not funny, and I want to see just the opposite proven true.
thanatos_lich 11-20-06, 02:37 PM	tie a cursed ring to the cat. Send the cat walking past the house of an enemy. The enemy sees the cat, takes the ring, puts it on and drops dead.
katarl 11-20-06, 02:38 PM	Tie a seal of explosive runes around its collar, and send it into someones home. Fun.
Pippa 11-20-06, 02:45 PM	I once read a Cat-on-a-stick post on this board. If someone who knows it can hear me, I want to read it again!
Dark Stryke 11-20-06, 02:55 PM	3. Since most DMs wont allow the bag or rats fighter anymore, cleverly make the exact same build, but use a bag of cats! Ha! Bet your DM didn't think to disallow that one, did he? 4. Cats are pretty cute and fluffy, and killing cute and fluffy things is usually evil. Want your paladin to qualify for blackguard in a hurry? Go on a kitten killing spree, extra points for cleaving the cat straight out of its owner's arms (or cleaving the owner's arms off with the cat. If you're going for evil, you might as well go all the way). 5. Dress your rogue up as a wizard, and pretend the random cat you just found is your familiar. 6. Use ventriloquism to make "talking" cats. 7. As an opposite to the blackguard route, buy a bunch of cats (at 2cp, how could you not?) and give them to every sad looking person you meet. Your paladin will reach exalted status in a jiffy!
HaikenEdge 11-20-06, 03:01 PM	6. Use ventriloquism to make "talking" cats. 6a. Make the cat say "All your bases are belong to us!!!!!"
FnordBear 11-20-06, 03:17 PM	Step 1, become a 20th level Wujen. Step 2, Polymorph self to cat. Step 3, Cat giant size becominga Colossal Cat. Step 4, Hilarity ensues.
Chaos Theory 11-20-06, 04:56 PM	Put a kitten in a tree where the party paladin is bound to see it. Esp. when he only has 3 hp at the time and a lousy climb skill. er....I would know nothing about that, forget I ever said it.
frasmage 11-20-06, 05:00 PM	11. According to this company (http://www.royale.ca/index.asp), toilet paper
IrishRover 11-21-06, 11:54 AM	Put a kitten in a tree where the party paladin is bound to see it. Esp. when he only has 3 hp at the time and a lousy climb skill. er....I would know nothing about that, forget I ever said it. Well, a charismatic Paladin should be able to get the party's rogue to go get it, or the wizard to use mage hand, or...
Deagar 11-21-06, 06:16 PM	12. Cheap trail rations 13. A gift for your ape animal companion. 14. Cat Crossbow (Paul, what a rediculous name for a cat) 15. Fill up an empty moat, and laugh as your enemies try and "swim" across. 16. Giving your enemies bad luck (all black ones only) 17. Cheap Feather Fall ring. If cats always land on their feet, strap a couple to your back so they can break your fall 18. Grappling hook
Ashok_Lal 11-22-06, 12:00 AM	19. Measuring instument in the dungeon. "look you can/'t swing a cat in here" 20. Cut it open and use its gut to restring the bards stinged instument so you can get your +1 moral bonus from bard song. 21. mopping up blood stains. 22. leave a few on the stairs when you are trying to get away. Caltrops have nothing on cats on stairs.
Alpha_Moose 11-22-06, 12:53 AM	Since their that cheap, buy thousands of them and make cat swarms.
epifreak 11-22-06, 01:33 AM	24. companionship?
Solaris 11-22-06, 02:25 AM	6a. Make the cat say "All your bases are belong to us!!!!!" Base. All your base are belong to us.
BeefotronX 11-22-06, 03:29 AM	25. Use the cat to wipe the battlemat before the next encounter. (Note: Do not try this at home. Kittens happen to be rather poor dry erasers)
odinsmightytoad 11-22-06, 10:26 AM	26. Relive the stray cat population by telporting all to your friendly, neighborhood BBEG. 27. Awaken all in the poor distrect and direct them to the warf for fishes. 28. Tie their feet together and use as spiked armor. (Make sure the claws are out. ) 29. Graft for a true cat-o-nine-tails.
Critical_Failure 11-22-06, 11:25 AM	30. perpettual motion machine. (tie buttered toast to a cat's back and see what happens)
Doom_Linnorm 11-22-06, 02:15 PM	31: Tie to the end of a quarter staff, wave it a few times and then stick into enemies face, it should get off about four claw attacks each round in its spitting frenzy. 32: Tie several to a Scourge and repeat above but this time flail into opponents face. 33: Grenade like weapon. 34: Animal companion trained in killing commoners. 35: Monster Bait
SeptimusMagistos 11-22-06, 03:48 PM	36. Find and Disable traps all in one convenient package.
jeffepp 11-22-06, 04:26 PM	37. Profession (Cat Herder)
Drucilla_Rocks_my_Socks 11-22-06, 05:04 PM	38. Chariot...with cats 39. Cheap thrown weapon 40. Cat+every single buff availbile...then sick it on somone... 41. Facing up against enemy paladins? Want them to loose thier powers? Tie cats to yourself as armor/instant un-paladinifier!
Sulaco 11-22-06, 05:20 PM	42. Coin purse (people always talk about money "in the kitty" ;)) 43. Silencer for a gun (http://www.mobygames.com/game/windows/postal-2/screenshots/gameShotId,40629/) 44. Portable rations
RobbyPants 11-22-06, 06:36 PM	Since they have 1/2 HD, and Animate Dead allows the caster to control caster level x2 HD of undead, create caster level x4 cat skeletons! They get a nice Dex boost. Of course, this stops getting cheap when you have to supply all the onyx.
epifreak 11-22-06, 07:24 PM	Since they have 1/2 HD, and Animate Dead allows the caster to control caster level x2 HD of undead, create caster level x4 cat skeletons! They get a nice Dex boost. Of course, this stops getting cheap when you have to supply all the onyx. Combine with the corpsecrafter feat that causes explosion on death for an army of kitty bombs?
Solaris 11-23-06, 12:45 AM	45. Dungeon Master http://static.flickr.com/78/189811112_d203f94203_m.jpg
Chaos Theory 11-23-06, 12:45 AM	Well, a charismatic Paladin should be able to get the party's rogue to go get it, or the wizard to use mage hand, or... Its helps that he was alone at the time. 47. Kittens eventually grow up, into displacer beasts 48. Mouse problem! Who you gonna call! 49. Look Ma! Static shock! 50. My familar has a decoy Earl, nice waste of magic missile 51. Girls love cats....and chocolate....hmmmmm:devil: 52. Zomg! The evil arc-mage Zatharus is allergic to furballs! 53. Save the world from white lab mice 54. Fuzzy boots? 55. 'Finneas stop practicing phantasmal slayer on the cat. Thats the third life this week for him' 56. Its a little known fact that a whole cat is consumed as a spell component in the ressurection spells of some races 57. Baron Strahd we bring a peace offering 58. Cats were once worshipped by the ancient Egyptions. And they haven't forgotten. 59. CATapult? 60. Help a little girl in BG1
CaoSlayer 11-23-06, 10:20 AM	You can use a cat or a dog as a scout, tie a cord and send him ahead, if the cord comes back without the cat prepare for a fight.
Alcari Ambaron 11-23-06, 01:34 PM	62 (or something) Inspired by 61, Testing Portal. Tie rope around cat, toss into portal, pull on rope. When the rope comes back empty, it's one-way. If it comes back bloody, don't go. 63 - Strike fear into the hearts of common townspeople. Remember, cats can kill commoners in under 6 seconds 64 - food rations that carry themselves
forrestfire15 11-23-06, 01:36 PM	become a heir of siberies and awaken 1000 (or 2000, or 3000...) cats and train as rogues...:plotting: :evillaugh spell-like abilities costs no experience or materials...:P
Sunic_Flames 11-23-06, 01:43 PM	66. Getting players to think outside the box. Perhaps I should start from the beginning. Some players tend to stereotype the creatures they encounter. "All goblins are stupid." is one good example of what I mean. So what you do is you take an ordinary cat, have him Awakened, and give him 5 levels of rogue and the ability to speak Common for the hell of it. Wizard or sorc also works, just make sure the cat is about one level higher than the highest level PC in the party. Maybe two. Then you drop him in the middle of the adventure in front of that PC without any prior explanation at all. This goes a long way towards correcting that type of behavior. Said level 3 druid befriended the cat, and after going on a minor side mission together they went their seperate ways. I think he got the point. So the next time he enters a cave where the denizens are alerted to the PC's presence thanks to an alarm gong, he won't complain when the goblin sorcerer casts Gust of Wind to blow the mysterious Obscuring Mist he cast into the room right back at him, instead of him and his minions charging into it like idiots. :rofl: But enough offtopicness from me.
Doom_Linnorm 11-23-06, 03:27 PM	Appreciated by a fellow "out of the box" thinker. My entire campaign world revolves around accepting the fact that the core races aren't the only relatively normal cultured creatures out there. I have: Orcs as wise shamanistic savages. Goblins as clever greedy merchants. Lizardfolk as highly cultured race that make stereo type elf lords seem like total retards. Etc 67: Comedy relief. (This really shouldn't have to be explained, especialy with templates like Titanic lying around.)
CryoSilver 11-23-06, 03:45 PM	68: Chinese food
bhu 11-23-06, 04:55 PM	69) Awaken an army of cats. Train them as psychologists. Have them psychobabble all your opponents to death. Optionally train them all to just stare at him and follow him around while secretly following him invisibly using telepathy or a similar ability to make him believe the cats are psychic. Phrases like "your going to die" are popular.
Nathreet 11-23-06, 05:51 PM	Can't believe no one said this: 70: Carry around 400 for protection. Many area spells target creatures with lower HD first.
Serrin 11-23-06, 06:40 PM	71. Use them to test out traps. Especially if they're the wizard's familiar.
forrestfire15 11-24-06, 04:41 PM	making magic items...10,000 experience for 2gp:schemes:
SeptimusMagistos 11-24-06, 05:52 PM	72. Baba Yaga's familiar. A morbid black cat who can polymorph into a human or a giant panther, commands other felines, and keeps following Baba Yaga's Hut searching for a portal to Ruslands can be fun.
lordalm 11-24-06, 07:42 PM	73) Send the cat one way and your party runs the other. Anything use scent will follow that god awful stinky cat!
negface 11-24-06, 08:14 PM	Sovereign glue a coating of catnip onto your soon to be ex-lover. Kill the lights. Throw cat. Beauty in simplicity.
bhu 11-24-06, 08:59 PM	Get a 50 some Hit Dice Legendary Tiger, polymorph it into a small fluffy kitten. Remove said polymorph at interesting moments. ________________________________ Make your BBEG a huge fan of kitties. Have his palace full of thousands of of them. All awakened at his command. Optionally have a psychotic beholder stalking the streets gunning down anyone who dares mess with the local strays.
Lord Karsus 11-24-06, 11:22 PM	-If you're running an Oriental Adventures campaign...Dinner. :P
theotherdraxen 11-24-06, 11:37 PM	77. Pit a swarm of them against an army of Steves, and see who will win.
Fabius Maximus 11-25-06, 08:24 AM	11. According to this company (http://www.royale.ca/index.asp), toilet paper :rofl: Move your mouse pointer over the kitten... Then imagine the softness. :D I wonder why nobody brought up these ideas (Hint: They are not mine): 78. Make electricity. Tie cats at a cartwheel and whirl it around so that they are rubbing against the amber rods you installed... 79. Claymore mine: Stuff a cat into a small box, starve it a few days, shake the box a few times, then point the opening at the enemy. Open the box...
Sunic_Flames 11-25-06, 08:31 AM	77. Pit a swarm of them against an army of Steves, and see who will win. Heh, that thread was the inspiration for my idea. :pile: Anyways... 80. Kinda a continuance of one that's already been said but... Polymorph various vicious creatures into housecats. Put cats in bag. Drop bag on soon to be dead villain (or hero, if you're evil). Cast dispel magic. Flee.
Andorxor 11-25-06, 09:30 AM	81. Awaken them,train them in the samurai class and them teach them to make pizza.
bhu 11-25-06, 12:19 PM	82) Were kittens
Fargren 11-25-06, 12:27 PM	82. Uncertainty(sp?). Ask Schrodinger.
SeptimusMagistos 11-25-06, 01:00 PM	82. Uncertainty(sp?). Ask Schrodinger. Who's Shcrodinger?;)
Fabius Maximus 11-25-06, 07:42 PM	Who's Shcrodinger?;) I'm not sure...
Lord Karsus 11-25-06, 08:38 PM	81. Awaken them,train them in the samurai class and them teach them to make pizza. -Good ol' Samurai Pizza Cats...:) -Isn't that a health concern though? I mean, cats shed a lot more hair than overweight, greasy Italians and all...(I can say that, since I am, sadly, one of those greasy Italians- I'm underweight, however)
Chaos Theory 11-25-06, 09:38 PM	Who's Shcrodinger?;) I am guessing that you already know but for those who don't He was a scientist studying how atoms function and can be modeled. He developed the hypothetical Shrodingers equation which defines the complete actions of an atom. He also preformed a thought experiment commonly known as shrodingers cat. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrodinger%27s_cat Remember kids, Wikipedia and Google are our friends
bhu 11-26-06, 01:41 PM	83) Teleport a few hundred into your BBEG's castle as a distraction before you attack :eek:
Kyuketsukiouji 11-26-06, 03:26 PM	Awaken cats. Train cats as Thrallherds. Laugh your head off.
anshar 11-26-06, 05:29 PM	86. -Offer to solve a small town's rat infestation problem for 500gp. -Spend 200gp on 10,000 cats. -Release said cats into town. -Pocket profit of 300gp. -Repeat at next town.
Sphyre 11-26-06, 05:58 PM	Since their that cheap, buy thousands of them and make cat swarms. Conquer the world! Meow!
Atsettam 11-26-06, 06:24 PM	92) Huffing Edit: Reference to Uncyclopedia
Damior 11-26-06, 10:06 PM	In the MMORPG runescape, sell it imediately for magic runes In a dnd campaign, sell it to a crazy old lady for $
Chrono Nexus 11-26-06, 10:10 PM	86. -Offer to solve a small town's rat infestation problem for 500gp. -Spend 200gp on 10,000 cats. -Release said cats into town. -Pocket profit of 300gp. -Repeat at next town. Scary idea, if there aren't many rats in said town, the cats may turn on the commoner population. Cat vs. Commoner..:D 93) Drowning
Yodaman23 11-26-06, 11:58 PM	It is a well known fact that for every cat a women has her amount of crazy goes up exponetially by 3. 94) For 100 gp you can by 3333 cats, deliever them in bags of holding (make sure to keep the tops of the bags open or you will be delivering 3333 suffocated cats, [see below]) to the local widow or single old women. Sit back and wait, soon enouph the old women will be so out of her mind crazy she will take over the town and name her cats the lords. 95) Good one for DMs The PCs just recently beat the BBEG, they search his lair or mansion and find one bedroom full of tied bags of holding and a note. Upon further investigation the room belonged to the bbeg's mother in law and the bags are filled with her cats, she didn't know that bags of holding couldn't produce internal air.
anshar 11-27-06, 09:27 AM	Scary idea, if there aren't many rats in said town, the cats may turn on the commoner population. Cat vs. Commoner..:D There are always lots of rats around. But with so many cats, there won't be for long so yeah, having the town pay you to overwhelm them with cats was the idea. :schemes:
bhu 11-27-06, 09:56 AM	http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com/whatonearth/Item_Crazy-Cat-Lady-Action-Figure_AU4742.html Off topic I know but Yodaman23's post reminded me of this...
DarkKestral 11-28-06, 12:21 AM	Have a druid awaken the cat and get a wizard buddy to teach it the arcane arts. Have the wizard cat pick up a cat familiar. Ideally, the wizard buddy also has a cat familiar, and polymorphs into a cat... so that in the end, the party appears to be primarily a bunch of cats... who happen to be sentient and telepathic! (Druid wildshaped into a cat, wizard polymorphed into a cat, cat wizard, 2 cat familiars, cleric, fighter, and rogue all polymorphed.. you could have 6 PCs and every one of them could look like a cat most, if not all the time, at high levels.) Weasels and ferrets are good too.
Braids 11-28-06, 02:17 AM	-Good ol' Samurai Pizza Cats...:) -Isn't that a health concern though? I mean, cats shed a lot more hair than overweight, greasy Italians and all...(I can say that, since I am, sadly, one of those greasy Italians- I'm underweight, however) Oh you self hating W.O.P. you. [I can use that term because I too am Italian...though I'm pretty happy about it and am not greasy]. I think a couple of these should be combined. 9x ) Get several hundred cats, skin them and use it to make fur clothing. Take the meat and make dinner [for unsuspecting people]. Use the organs for various other things. THEN take the bones and animate them into your own personal army with the corpsecrafter feats in order to make powerful minions that will explode when they die. If you do things right you can make the money back that you spend on the onyx gems used to buy and animate the kittens.
Deagar 11-28-06, 09:28 PM	98) Use as a mount when shapeshifted into tiny form 99) Off of 86, as a sidequest where you must remove a town's cat infestation.
bhu 11-29-06, 06:08 PM	100) Curse female opponent so that all her pregnancies result in giving birth to a litter of kittens.
MechMage 11-29-06, 09:05 PM	Step 1: Obtain many many cats. Step 2: Dunk many many cat in vat of plague juise. Step 3: Obtain much much rope, several balistas, and a zeplin. Step 4: Put balistas in zeplin, tie cats to ammo, and invaid nearest kingdom, making use of bio weapons.
Critical_Failure 11-30-06, 04:15 AM	102: torture (starve cats, coat victinm in dead fish, put cat in room with victim, add new cat every 10 minutes until he talks)
anki 11-30-06, 04:30 AM	103.Windshield wipers(sp?) 104.mopping the floor with them...especialy if the floor is muddy.nothing cleans up mud like cat fur. 105.handy throwing object for getting that ball out of the tree. 106.handy throwing object for getting #105 cat out of the same tree(ok there was a flaw in my plan)
Far_Traveler 11-30-06, 08:45 AM	Step 1: Dig big pit Step 2: add starving cats until they, when standing, cover 9/10 of the floor Steo 3: throw child of no more then 12 wrapped in fish sausages into pit Step 4: repeat Step 5: run away from angry child with unbeatable martial arts technique
Guroth the Forsaken 11-30-06, 11:56 AM	:rofl: GREAT thread!
Lord Karsus 11-30-06, 08:14 PM	-Hey! Here's an actual good and realistic use for a cat. Take on in the next tomb you plunder, because, as The Mummy and The Mummy II have taught us, Mummies fear felions.
halflingvampire 12-01-06, 09:58 AM	108. mace/flail when fighting medusae: cat gets turned to stone, just grab him by the tail or tie a rope to the tail and you have a very handy weapon 109. grappling hook: tie rope to cat, then throw into something soft enough for its claws to stick to 110. decoration: put sovereign glue on paws, then stick wherever you need a little brightness 111. Enlarge, then use on giant rats 112. vorpal kitty: the most vicious monster, able to take your head off without you knowing you're decapitated and without breaking stride
memberZ 12-01-06, 01:04 PM	113 ) the cat gun .Gnome built launching device (saw this on Family Guy, mayor Adam West used this) . +4 to trip and +20 to annoyance
Grod_The_Giant 12-01-06, 03:11 PM	102: torture (starve cats, coat victinm in dead fish, put cat in room with victim, add new cat every 10 minutes until he talks) :rofl: did you get this from George Carlin? He suggested (as a method of execution): "how about putting a guy in a small room with a starving wolverine that's high on angel dust!"
ornitholestes 12-03-06, 08:27 PM	114.) A special mount for your pixie paladin 115.) Your halfling were-cat warblade can use his lycanthropic empathy and white-raven maneuvers to command an army of feral cats.
halflingvampire 12-04-06, 09:30 AM	target practice