1001 ways to use a kobold! [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 ways to use a kobold! [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
The_Rouge
07-01-07, 03:15 PM Another 1001 thread!

How to use kobolds!
Post ANYTHING you rhink of, from tactics to cooking recipies!

1. Kobold stew:

Things you need:
A pot
A living kobold
A fire
Some vegetables

1. Put a pot over a fire.
2. Wait till it boils.
3. Put the living kobold in.
4. Put vegetables in.
5. When the kobold stops screaming the stew is finito.
6. Enjoy!
________________________________________ _______________________
happyalldaylong
07-01-07, 03:18 PM #2 To keep your half-orc barbarian happy
#3 To clean your underpants
#4 To massage your feet
ADHadh
07-01-07, 03:21 PM 5. They're good at getting rid of corpses.
Toran_A_Sunder
07-01-07, 03:25 PM Kobold-chucks

Needed: 2 Kobolds, a length of rope; Monkey Grip; Exotic Weapon Proficiency: nunchuks; Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Humanoid (reptilian)
skydin
07-01-07, 03:42 PM i cannot post my response as this thread is not in any sort of age-restricted area...

but you probably get the picture if you would meet that age restriction...

but, good news is, all you need is a kabold, or several, but no other tools are stricly nessisery.
B4_life
07-01-07, 03:45 PM 8. Pun-pun.

/thread
VrecknidjX
07-01-07, 04:02 PM 9. Bait.

Dave
Cuddly_Wuddlykins
07-01-07, 04:07 PM Best Thread ever

Oh and 10. tie a kobold to a ten foot pole and make him prod and pull things and voila trap detecter on a stick
Kelmourne
07-01-07, 05:26 PM 11: Catapult amunition (Light it on fire first for maximum performance)
12: If you have enough of them, they could collectively act as pit-trap fillings
13: Emergency Rations
V8122
07-01-07, 06:14 PM 14. Give him a level of wizard, divine minion, and three of Master of Many forms... then procede to NOT use it:P .
Forgotten_Warrior
07-01-07, 07:13 PM 15. Magical experimentation.
Silver_Bulette
07-01-07, 07:32 PM 16. A kobold carnival. C'mon, carnival Ferris wheels are rusty, creaking death traps- a kobold could get a racial bonus to make one!
Diamondfist
07-02-07, 01:20 AM 17. Kindling.
Manyfist
07-02-07, 01:25 AM 18.) Sharpen your weapons
19.) A club
20.) Fodder, after all they bread like crazy.
Waldo_di
07-02-07, 01:33 AM 21. Tiolet Paper.
22. Distraction (by distraction I mean when the Orc in your party needs to kill something and your interragating a leader let him loose)
23. Hungry, Hungry Ogres
24. Halfling size reptile jacket
Generic_NPC
07-02-07, 07:22 AM 25. instant stepping stool
26. splash their blood about to find invisible foes
27. ballast when on airship/ballooning
28. test for poison gas in caves/safe water/poisoned food
29. make water skins from their hides
Ebrion
07-02-07, 07:47 AM 30. Boots

31. Sacrifices

32. Beasts of burden

33. Back up trap disarming devices
Cartigan
07-02-07, 07:59 AM 34) Kobold-flail
Gentlemanic
07-02-07, 08:21 AM 35. You can dance with them around a campfire while they entertain you and the rest of the party with musical instruments..
happyalldaylong
07-02-07, 09:17 AM #36: The handome leather purse you always wanted
#37: Backpack (if you don`t mind goo all over your stuff)
#38: as a barbarian (yes, i`ve tried. it works like hell)
#39: Prime ministers (in boooooring places)

A little thing on #28... you wouldn`t want kobold spit all over your food would you?
annoyinglizardvoice
07-02-07, 09:54 AM 40. Portable sources of experience points.
41. A way of testing the depth of water (if the kobold drowns, water is deep).
42. an accelerator for a carnivorous mount (dangle 1ft infront of mouth).
Forgotten_Warrior
07-02-07, 11:09 AM 43. A Human-size hat.
44. Halfling and Gnome-size leather armor.
45. A few pieces of leather parchment.
Scraelig277
07-02-07, 11:24 AM 46.Gnome killing
47.Faerie killing
48.Breeding experiments (If you have a lot of room)
ADHadh
07-02-07, 11:53 AM #39: Prime ministers (in boooooring places)

...and presidents as well (they're even the right size)!

This joke is hardly funny outside Poland, I know.

49. General enemy weakening
Zousha_Omenohu
07-02-07, 11:57 AM 50. As an accountant! (guess the reference for a :dragon: )
happyalldaylong
07-02-07, 12:58 PM I just forgot one important one.
#51 Steal his teath, make a neacklace. and say they are from a dragon.
The_Rouge
07-02-07, 02:36 PM Best Thread ever

You mean that???
You really and truly mean that???:D
B4_life
07-02-07, 02:49 PM put it in your sig, quick! :D

52) Use him as a shield.
Doom_Linnorm
07-02-07, 03:14 PM #53: A TPK (No joke)
#54: PC Humiliation
#55: Comic relief
#56: Draconic Translator
#57: Flanker
#58: Cheap labor
#59: First ingredient of a big can of awesome warlock
#60: perfect random group of random encounter NPCs for any subterranean enviroment.
Ecalsneerg
07-02-07, 03:39 PM #61: As the wild-shaping uber-druid in your party.

"Puny Kobold!"

*wild-shaping noises*

"GRIZZLY BEAR!"
LifeIshFun
07-02-07, 03:51 PM #62

Adopting one, and making it your apprentice. Train him/her...it... in the ways of your particular class as it could prove a valued ally. Oh! And name it Friday.
ArchMagik
07-02-07, 03:58 PM 63:Well you could use them as a kind of walking potion. All you need is Vampiric touch and some leftover kobolds and voila instant healing.:D
skydin
07-02-07, 04:39 PM 64: sandpaper, those nice rough scales would be perfect to sanding down edges...

or other things...
Dragonborn
07-02-07, 06:54 PM 65. Hat (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0063.html)

66. Chip Bowl (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0358.html)
Razieliffied
07-02-07, 07:59 PM 67. Making the PC's run away. (http://www.tuckerskobolds.com/)
B4_life
07-02-07, 08:12 PM 67. Making the PC's run away. (http://www.tuckerskobolds.com/)

wow. that was epic... ill need to remember that.
razhan
08-14-07, 04:53 PM 68.collecting treasure for you, forced labour... where do you think all the dragons get thier treasure?
Darion Fenix
08-14-07, 05:01 PM #69 - See signature:
VulcanStormwrath
08-14-07, 05:13 PM A sneak attack to the nethers
Kesthol
08-14-07, 06:06 PM 48.Breeding experiments (If you have a lot of room)

Who needs room??? Have them mine when they are not otherwise occupied. :D

70) Guard "dogs"
71) Free income! (from enslaved tribe that mines)
72) Garbage disposal
73) An easy way skimp on cash (see 72; it can digest anything organic--no more buying rations!)
razhan
08-14-07, 07:49 PM :D 73. i didnt know that... i wont but rations anymore...
SeptimusMagistos
09-19-07, 05:30 PM 74. A substitute to rats as a way to diminish the effect of instant-kill spells.
E. Ravenwood
09-19-07, 06:22 PM 74. An Example

75. Ammo

76. The first wave of your attack

77. A Shotput

78. An Ogre's tailgunner (actually used in a campaign, Ogres strapped crossbowwielding kobolds and goblins to their backs to keep from being flanked)
Hellsbells
10-18-07, 07:13 PM 79. Bait

80. for aming a perfectly normal town a cr 20 trap encounter
Radiun
10-18-07, 09:06 PM 81) Overthrow Mezzobra....Drow City*

82) Being named Squee (I know it belongs to a goblin, but it SOUNDS Kobold-ish to me :P)

*In no way responsible for proving "Kobold Trickery + Kobold's Worship of Dragons leading to powerful Allies" > "Lolth's feminists"
RollaD20
10-19-07, 01:36 AM 82. put him in a heated, empty fishtank and treat him as a pet iguana or the like...
yay a pet kobold! ps: do kobolds like grapes or green tea?
The_Rouge
10-19-07, 07:59 AM Rollad20 gets a Coockie!
:cookie: Here it is!

hmm..and i belive kobolds like almost anything, so i would assume they like grapes and green tea. Odd question
RollaD20
10-19-07, 04:44 PM 83. make the kobold your butler, with good pay that way he gets his own hoard and is content to serve you, dragon esque or not.

also i asked about grapes and greentea because they are one of my characters favorite foods (took a vow of veganism which is my DM's custom feat of choice) that way i could let him eat at the dinner table w/ me
sorry it was so off topic

oh yeah, and thanks for the cookie! sigged
B4_life
10-19-07, 10:13 PM 84: Toothpick (protip: use the bones)
85: Coat
86: reserve of blood to sign contracts with the devil.
Avernyia
10-19-07, 10:56 PM 81) Overthrow Mezzobra....Drow City*

82) Being named Squee (I know it belongs to a goblin, but it SOUNDS Kobold-ish to me :P)

*In no way responsible for proving "Kobold Trickery + Kobold's Worship of Dragons leading to powerful Allies" > "Lolth's feminists"

HAHAHA! ^^ Menzobarranzan! (I think it is spelled that way) Kobolds! Thats like mice taking out a lions den!!!!!

But seriously though..

#87 as a decorative and effective lawn decoration
#88 Kill it, stuff it...and make it into a hat!
#89 teddy bear!!! <3
#90 A herald to announce your arrival into every room.
The_Rouge
10-20-07, 06:32 AM [QUOTE=B4_life;14121016]84: Toothpick (protip: use the bones)
QUOTE]

Why bones? A troll could just pick it up and let it eat from his mouth

and a :cookie: for averny
Keep on going!

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
The_Rouge 07-01-07, 03:15 PM	Another 1001 thread! How to use kobolds! Post ANYTHING you rhink of, from tactics to cooking recipies! 1. Kobold stew: Things you need: A pot A living kobold A fire Some vegetables 1. Put a pot over a fire. 2. Wait till it boils. 3. Put the living kobold in. 4. Put vegetables in. 5. When the kobold stops screaming the stew is finito. 6. Enjoy! ________________________________________ _______________________
happyalldaylong 07-01-07, 03:18 PM	#2 To keep your half-orc barbarian happy #3 To clean your underpants #4 To massage your feet
ADHadh 07-01-07, 03:21 PM	5. They're good at getting rid of corpses.
Toran_A_Sunder 07-01-07, 03:25 PM	Kobold-chucks Needed: 2 Kobolds, a length of rope; Monkey Grip; Exotic Weapon Proficiency: nunchuks; Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Humanoid (reptilian)
skydin 07-01-07, 03:42 PM	i cannot post my response as this thread is not in any sort of age-restricted area... but you probably get the picture if you would meet that age restriction... but, good news is, all you need is a kabold, or several, but no other tools are stricly nessisery.
B4_life 07-01-07, 03:45 PM	8. Pun-pun. /thread
VrecknidjX 07-01-07, 04:02 PM	9. Bait. Dave
Cuddly_Wuddlykins 07-01-07, 04:07 PM	Best Thread ever Oh and 10. tie a kobold to a ten foot pole and make him prod and pull things and voila trap detecter on a stick
Kelmourne 07-01-07, 05:26 PM	11: Catapult amunition (Light it on fire first for maximum performance) 12: If you have enough of them, they could collectively act as pit-trap fillings 13: Emergency Rations
V8122 07-01-07, 06:14 PM	14. Give him a level of wizard, divine minion, and three of Master of Many forms... then procede to NOT use it:P .
Forgotten_Warrior 07-01-07, 07:13 PM	15. Magical experimentation.
Silver_Bulette 07-01-07, 07:32 PM	16. A kobold carnival. C'mon, carnival Ferris wheels are rusty, creaking death traps- a kobold could get a racial bonus to make one!
Diamondfist 07-02-07, 01:20 AM	17. Kindling.
Manyfist 07-02-07, 01:25 AM	18.) Sharpen your weapons 19.) A club 20.) Fodder, after all they bread like crazy.
Waldo_di 07-02-07, 01:33 AM	21. Tiolet Paper. 22. Distraction (by distraction I mean when the Orc in your party needs to kill something and your interragating a leader let him loose) 23. Hungry, Hungry Ogres 24. Halfling size reptile jacket
Generic_NPC 07-02-07, 07:22 AM	25. instant stepping stool 26. splash their blood about to find invisible foes 27. ballast when on airship/ballooning 28. test for poison gas in caves/safe water/poisoned food 29. make water skins from their hides
Ebrion 07-02-07, 07:47 AM	30. Boots 31. Sacrifices 32. Beasts of burden 33. Back up trap disarming devices
Cartigan 07-02-07, 07:59 AM	34) Kobold-flail
Gentlemanic 07-02-07, 08:21 AM	35. You can dance with them around a campfire while they entertain you and the rest of the party with musical instruments..
happyalldaylong 07-02-07, 09:17 AM	#36: The handome leather purse you always wanted #37: Backpack (if you don`t mind goo all over your stuff) #38: as a barbarian (yes, i`ve tried. it works like hell) #39: Prime ministers (in boooooring places) A little thing on #28... you wouldn`t want kobold spit all over your food would you?
annoyinglizardvoice 07-02-07, 09:54 AM	40. Portable sources of experience points. 41. A way of testing the depth of water (if the kobold drowns, water is deep). 42. an accelerator for a carnivorous mount (dangle 1ft infront of mouth).
Forgotten_Warrior 07-02-07, 11:09 AM	43. A Human-size hat. 44. Halfling and Gnome-size leather armor. 45. A few pieces of leather parchment.
Scraelig277 07-02-07, 11:24 AM	46.Gnome killing 47.Faerie killing 48.Breeding experiments (If you have a lot of room)
ADHadh 07-02-07, 11:53 AM	#39: Prime ministers (in boooooring places) ...and presidents as well (they're even the right size)! This joke is hardly funny outside Poland, I know. 49. General enemy weakening
Zousha_Omenohu 07-02-07, 11:57 AM	50. As an accountant! (guess the reference for a :dragon: )
happyalldaylong 07-02-07, 12:58 PM	I just forgot one important one. #51 Steal his teath, make a neacklace. and say they are from a dragon.
The_Rouge 07-02-07, 02:36 PM	Best Thread ever You mean that??? You really and truly mean that???:D
B4_life 07-02-07, 02:49 PM	put it in your sig, quick! :D 52) Use him as a shield.
Doom_Linnorm 07-02-07, 03:14 PM	#53: A TPK (No joke) #54: PC Humiliation #55: Comic relief #56: Draconic Translator #57: Flanker #58: Cheap labor #59: First ingredient of a big can of awesome warlock #60: perfect random group of random encounter NPCs for any subterranean enviroment.
Ecalsneerg 07-02-07, 03:39 PM	#61: As the wild-shaping uber-druid in your party. "Puny Kobold!" wild-shaping noises "GRIZZLY BEAR!"
LifeIshFun 07-02-07, 03:51 PM	#62 Adopting one, and making it your apprentice. Train him/her...it... in the ways of your particular class as it could prove a valued ally. Oh! And name it Friday.
ArchMagik 07-02-07, 03:58 PM	63:Well you could use them as a kind of walking potion. All you need is Vampiric touch and some leftover kobolds and voila instant healing.:D
skydin 07-02-07, 04:39 PM	64: sandpaper, those nice rough scales would be perfect to sanding down edges... or other things...
Dragonborn 07-02-07, 06:54 PM	65. Hat (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0063.html) 66. Chip Bowl (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0358.html)
Razieliffied 07-02-07, 07:59 PM	67. Making the PC's run away. (http://www.tuckerskobolds.com/)
B4_life 07-02-07, 08:12 PM	67. Making the PC's run away. (http://www.tuckerskobolds.com/) wow. that was epic... ill need to remember that.
razhan 08-14-07, 04:53 PM	68.collecting treasure for you, forced labour... where do you think all the dragons get thier treasure?
Darion Fenix 08-14-07, 05:01 PM	#69 - See signature:
VulcanStormwrath 08-14-07, 05:13 PM	A sneak attack to the nethers
Kesthol 08-14-07, 06:06 PM	48.Breeding experiments (If you have a lot of room) Who needs room??? Have them mine when they are not otherwise occupied. :D 70) Guard "dogs" 71) Free income! (from enslaved tribe that mines) 72) Garbage disposal 73) An easy way skimp on cash (see 72; it can digest anything organic--no more buying rations!)
razhan 08-14-07, 07:49 PM	:D 73. i didnt know that... i wont but rations anymore...
SeptimusMagistos 09-19-07, 05:30 PM	74. A substitute to rats as a way to diminish the effect of instant-kill spells.
E. Ravenwood 09-19-07, 06:22 PM	74. An Example 75. Ammo 76. The first wave of your attack 77. A Shotput 78. An Ogre's tailgunner (actually used in a campaign, Ogres strapped crossbowwielding kobolds and goblins to their backs to keep from being flanked)
Hellsbells 10-18-07, 07:13 PM	79. Bait 80. for aming a perfectly normal town a cr 20 trap encounter
Radiun 10-18-07, 09:06 PM	81) Overthrow Mezzobra....Drow City* 82) Being named Squee (I know it belongs to a goblin, but it SOUNDS Kobold-ish to me :P) *In no way responsible for proving "Kobold Trickery + Kobold's Worship of Dragons leading to powerful Allies" > "Lolth's feminists"
RollaD20 10-19-07, 01:36 AM	82. put him in a heated, empty fishtank and treat him as a pet iguana or the like... yay a pet kobold! ps: do kobolds like grapes or green tea?
The_Rouge 10-19-07, 07:59 AM	Rollad20 gets a Coockie! :cookie: Here it is! hmm..and i belive kobolds like almost anything, so i would assume they like grapes and green tea. Odd question
RollaD20 10-19-07, 04:44 PM	83. make the kobold your butler, with good pay that way he gets his own hoard and is content to serve you, dragon esque or not. also i asked about grapes and greentea because they are one of my characters favorite foods (took a vow of veganism which is my DM's custom feat of choice) that way i could let him eat at the dinner table w/ me sorry it was so off topic oh yeah, and thanks for the cookie! sigged
B4_life 10-19-07, 10:13 PM	84: Toothpick (protip: use the bones) 85: Coat 86: reserve of blood to sign contracts with the devil.
Avernyia 10-19-07, 10:56 PM	81) Overthrow Mezzobra....Drow City* 82) Being named Squee (I know it belongs to a goblin, but it SOUNDS Kobold-ish to me :P) *In no way responsible for proving "Kobold Trickery + Kobold's Worship of Dragons leading to powerful Allies" > "Lolth's feminists" HAHAHA! ^^ Menzobarranzan! (I think it is spelled that way) Kobolds! Thats like mice taking out a lions den!!!!! But seriously though.. #87 as a decorative and effective lawn decoration #88 Kill it, stuff it...and make it into a hat! #89 teddy bear!!! <3 #90 A herald to announce your arrival into every room.
The_Rouge 10-20-07, 06:32 AM	[QUOTE=B4_life;14121016]84: Toothpick (protip: use the bones) QUOTE] Why bones? A troll could just pick it up and let it eat from his mouth and a :cookie: for averny Keep on going!