101 Signs Your Players Are Mentally Unbalanced [Archive] - Wizards Community

101 Signs Your Players Are Mentally Unbalanced [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Melpomene
02-19-07, 08:28 PM 1.) The PC's favoured weapon is a +1 adamantine icepick.
Nitan
02-19-07, 08:51 PM 2). They watch Hannibal Rising for "inspiration".
CedricBrooks
02-19-07, 08:55 PM 3. The spend all of game time trying to get out of their restraining jacket.
jera
02-19-07, 08:55 PM 3. they say the words "i wanna play a kender spell caster!''
4. if they have a wand that casts 'black bag'
5. sacrifice 69 teenage orphans to summon a sex god.
The_Ryan
02-19-07, 09:03 PM They start to refer to themself in the third person and their character in the first.
khyron1144
02-19-07, 09:04 PM 7. Purple monkey dishwasher.
8. Violet monkey dishwasher.
9. Fuschia monkey dishwasher.
Richmud
02-19-07, 09:08 PM Hmm...by my count this is 11 so

11: They ask when you are finally going to teach them real magic
Grandpa Gamer
02-20-07, 09:13 PM 12. The party leader writes his rent checks in gold pieces!
darkneolink
02-20-07, 11:12 PM 13 Exalted Dread Necromancer
14 they post in one (or more) of the 1001 things (101 includes)
15 part of my group
Greg K
02-20-07, 11:20 PM 16. They throw a tantrum if their 10th level fighter gets hit for 1hp of damage.
speeblefreak
02-20-07, 11:20 PM 16. A player gouges out his eyes and replaces them with d20s.

17. He replaces his teeth with tiny d4s.

18. When his PC dies, he immediately eats the character sheet so he won't lose his soul.

19. Not Black Leaf! NOOOOO!

20. His character has a more developed backstory than he does.
darkneolink
02-20-07, 11:28 PM 19. Not Black Leaf! NOOOOO!

dies without a save thats my kind of DM
speeblefreak
02-20-07, 11:40 PM I was referring to the extremity of the reaction, of course.

(I do, however, agree that the DM could have used a hammergunning)
bhu
02-21-07, 01:34 AM 21) He asks if his Paladin can be a former male prostitute....
Sunic_Flames
02-21-07, 03:54 AM 22. One puts on a performance by breaking the fourth wall, reciting modern day songs, poems, etc.

23. Another tries to one up him by juggling live mice (and succeeds).

24. One threatens the shopkeeper of a paper store's life for no reason. (and is good aligned) :rolleyes:
khyron1144
02-21-07, 08:21 AM 25. The bard has ranks in perform (drop pants and flap arms like chicken wings while singing "The Old Grey Mare Ain't What She Used To BE").

26. The paladin's patron deity is Asmodeus.
FnordBear
02-21-07, 09:38 AM 27. When the DM asks the Paladin what he wants the citywatch to do with the street urchin they caught picking his pocket and he replies "Crucify him"

28. When the player asks to play a kobold named Pun-Pun

29. When the player creates a kobold not named Pun-Pun that is even more powerful than Pun-Pun

30. When the hulking fighter lines up hundreds of commoners in a strait line to see how far he can travel in 6 seconds via supreme cleave

31. When the ranger takes Favored Enemy(Orphans)

32. When the character is paterned of Belkar

33. When the player shows up and full armor/gear exactly matching thier characters up to and including any stains and foulness they hay have trudged through (horse dung, dragon bile, sewage, etc.)

34. The player is constantly drawing pictures of his lawful good character preforming acts too horendous for the BoVD to cover at the game table <----(I played in group this happened)
freedeath
02-21-07, 09:47 AM 35) Every 3rd word they say is "murder".
Rogue Shadows
02-21-07, 09:56 AM 36) When, in a drow city disguised as drow, they try to get all the drow in a house to run away from their objective, they say, "Dude, there's a spider orgy over there! You gotta see it!"

Actually happened. Weirdest part is that the guy who did succeeded on his Bluff check, despite the -8 penalty I imposed.
Greg K
02-21-07, 11:35 AM 37) when the player of the Paladin wants to kill every NPC for the XP and, even worse, cannot understand why such actions would strip the character of Paladin status.
seldom_seen
02-21-07, 11:51 AM 38. When a player constantly keeps slipping into their "native" tongues of Elvish or Dwarvish.
39. Your players arrive on game night in full armor.
40. Your player's drivers license is his character name.
freedeath
02-21-07, 11:55 AM 41) They name their dice.
zzakk2to2
02-21-07, 02:15 PM 42. not only do his characters have more backstory then themselves everyone in his characters backstory is fully stated and has more backstory all the back a couple hundred year or longer for elves and stuff.(this includes pets)
RobbyPants
02-21-07, 03:02 PM They start to refer to themself in the third person and their character in the first.
Priceless!

43) When two players have a dispute, a full party player vs player battle with weapons breaks out (not to be confused with Pc vs Pc!) :duel:
speeblefreak
02-21-07, 03:34 PM 44. When your players construct a real hammergun and use it to hold you hostage.
Pallin Rahl
02-21-07, 03:37 PM 35) Every 3rd word they say is "murder".

What the murder are you murdering about?
freedeath
02-21-07, 03:59 PM What the murder are you murdering about?

Exactly!

I roll ..murder.. a 16 ..murder.. did I ..murder.. hit? Now ..murder.. I'll roll ..murder.. for damage. Murder.

And so .. murder.. on.
gullas
02-21-07, 04:08 PM 45.when one of the players is playing a CE Drow Paladin of slaugther named David Michelangelo Moswell , and tries to poisoin each and every well you find with a soap:)
Real_iceman
02-21-07, 04:27 PM 46. when the party cleric decides to get a tatoo of his mothers face on his bold head. :P
Sajek
02-21-07, 04:54 PM 41) They name their dice.

My brother has a d20 named Harvey...
47. They only respond if you call them by their player's name
48. When they start narrating their actions.

"I get up and got to the fridge for a snack. I have six ranks in Search, what do I find?"
zzakk2to2
02-21-07, 05:10 PM 49) his favorite sport is from your gaming world
50) if they waited just so they could have the 50th here just to say "If there me"(which i do say thank you very much!)
savant_warlord13
02-21-07, 05:17 PM 1.) The PC's favoured weapon is a +1 adamantine icepick.

But the pick was my favorite weapon when I was a player...
savant_warlord13
02-21-07, 05:20 PM 20. His character has a more developed backstory than he does.

Where do you guys get these crazy ideas? Replace 'he does' with 'a gerbil' and it could still never happen.
hecatomb3345
02-21-07, 05:22 PM if he tries to eat his face when he gets angry....
SeptimusMagistos
02-21-07, 05:48 PM if he has his character rape somebody.
zzakk2to2
02-21-07, 05:55 PM if he has his character rape somebody.

no thats inmature and is either done as a joke or by a Teen.
Demon_Paladin
02-21-07, 09:00 PM no thats inmature and is either done as a joke or by a Teen.

Yeah. Mentally unbalenced.

When you point out a rule problem... and you're beaten with a 2-liter. Actually happened to me.
Fencerboy
02-21-07, 09:46 PM When you point out a rule problem... and you're beaten with a 2-liter. Actually happened to me.
I must say, I've had the same experience... Except it was full, and the VERY unbalanced character then proceeded to open it over his hard-worked-on character...
bhu
02-22-07, 02:04 AM 51) Anytime you touch his pink d4 he screams "YOU HAVE VIOLATED MISTER WINKY!!"

We no longer play with him
docballen
02-22-07, 03:38 AM 52. He'd rather play D&D than have sex.
halflingvampire
02-28-07, 12:50 PM 53. He thinks he has the ability to roll a crit just by thinking it.
54. They have their character eat the flesh of each foe they kill.
Sudnji_cas
03-01-07, 06:01 PM 55. When they start punching people in real world in the face for XP. yelling: "critical hit" or "in your face dirty NPC"
Evil DM Mk3
03-01-07, 06:11 PM 56: His character is a 4 year old female human Psion in a flowery dress and an ogre thrall in special clothes named "Teddy" and a homunculous called "Bunny".
deadman1204
03-02-07, 05:33 PM 30. When the hulking fighter lines up hundreds of commoners in a strait line to see how far he can travel in 6 seconds via supreme cleave

31. When the ranger takes Favored Enemy(Orphans)

Please tell me these were made up and are did not happen!
deadman1204
03-02-07, 05:58 PM 52. He'd rather play D&D than have sex.

scarily I saw this once - a kid turned down a really hot date to role play

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Melpomene 02-19-07, 08:28 PM	1.) The PC's favoured weapon is a +1 adamantine icepick.
Nitan 02-19-07, 08:51 PM	2). They watch Hannibal Rising for "inspiration".
CedricBrooks 02-19-07, 08:55 PM	3. The spend all of game time trying to get out of their restraining jacket.
jera 02-19-07, 08:55 PM	3. they say the words "i wanna play a kender spell caster!'' 4. if they have a wand that casts 'black bag' 5. sacrifice 69 teenage orphans to summon a sex god.
The_Ryan 02-19-07, 09:03 PM	They start to refer to themself in the third person and their character in the first.
khyron1144 02-19-07, 09:04 PM	7. Purple monkey dishwasher. 8. Violet monkey dishwasher. 9. Fuschia monkey dishwasher.
Richmud 02-19-07, 09:08 PM	Hmm...by my count this is 11 so 11: They ask when you are finally going to teach them real magic
Grandpa Gamer 02-20-07, 09:13 PM	12. The party leader writes his rent checks in gold pieces!
darkneolink 02-20-07, 11:12 PM	13 Exalted Dread Necromancer 14 they post in one (or more) of the 1001 things (101 includes) 15 part of my group
Greg K 02-20-07, 11:20 PM	16. They throw a tantrum if their 10th level fighter gets hit for 1hp of damage.
speeblefreak 02-20-07, 11:20 PM	16. A player gouges out his eyes and replaces them with d20s. 17. He replaces his teeth with tiny d4s. 18. When his PC dies, he immediately eats the character sheet so he won't lose his soul. 19. Not Black Leaf! NOOOOO! 20. His character has a more developed backstory than he does.
darkneolink 02-20-07, 11:28 PM	19. Not Black Leaf! NOOOOO! dies without a save thats my kind of DM
speeblefreak 02-20-07, 11:40 PM	I was referring to the extremity of the reaction, of course. (I do, however, agree that the DM could have used a hammergunning)
bhu 02-21-07, 01:34 AM	21) He asks if his Paladin can be a former male prostitute....
Sunic_Flames 02-21-07, 03:54 AM	22. One puts on a performance by breaking the fourth wall, reciting modern day songs, poems, etc. 23. Another tries to one up him by juggling live mice (and succeeds). 24. One threatens the shopkeeper of a paper store's life for no reason. (and is good aligned) :rolleyes:
khyron1144 02-21-07, 08:21 AM	25. The bard has ranks in perform (drop pants and flap arms like chicken wings while singing "The Old Grey Mare Ain't What She Used To BE"). 26. The paladin's patron deity is Asmodeus.
FnordBear 02-21-07, 09:38 AM	27. When the DM asks the Paladin what he wants the citywatch to do with the street urchin they caught picking his pocket and he replies "Crucify him" 28. When the player asks to play a kobold named Pun-Pun 29. When the player creates a kobold not named Pun-Pun that is even more powerful than Pun-Pun 30. When the hulking fighter lines up hundreds of commoners in a strait line to see how far he can travel in 6 seconds via supreme cleave 31. When the ranger takes Favored Enemy(Orphans) 32. When the character is paterned of Belkar 33. When the player shows up and full armor/gear exactly matching thier characters up to and including any stains and foulness they hay have trudged through (horse dung, dragon bile, sewage, etc.) 34. The player is constantly drawing pictures of his lawful good character preforming acts too horendous for the BoVD to cover at the game table <----(I played in group this happened)
freedeath 02-21-07, 09:47 AM	35) Every 3rd word they say is "murder".
Rogue Shadows 02-21-07, 09:56 AM	36) When, in a drow city disguised as drow, they try to get all the drow in a house to run away from their objective, they say, "Dude, there's a spider orgy over there! You gotta see it!" Actually happened. Weirdest part is that the guy who did succeeded on his Bluff check, despite the -8 penalty I imposed.
Greg K 02-21-07, 11:35 AM	37) when the player of the Paladin wants to kill every NPC for the XP and, even worse, cannot understand why such actions would strip the character of Paladin status.
seldom_seen 02-21-07, 11:51 AM	38. When a player constantly keeps slipping into their "native" tongues of Elvish or Dwarvish. 39. Your players arrive on game night in full armor. 40. Your player's drivers license is his character name.
freedeath 02-21-07, 11:55 AM	41) They name their dice.
zzakk2to2 02-21-07, 02:15 PM	42. not only do his characters have more backstory then themselves everyone in his characters backstory is fully stated and has more backstory all the back a couple hundred year or longer for elves and stuff.(this includes pets)
RobbyPants 02-21-07, 03:02 PM	They start to refer to themself in the third person and their character in the first. Priceless! 43) When two players have a dispute, a full party player vs player battle with weapons breaks out (not to be confused with Pc vs Pc!) :duel:
speeblefreak 02-21-07, 03:34 PM	44. When your players construct a real hammergun and use it to hold you hostage.
Pallin Rahl 02-21-07, 03:37 PM	35) Every 3rd word they say is "murder". What the murder are you murdering about?
freedeath 02-21-07, 03:59 PM	What the murder are you murdering about? Exactly! I roll ..murder.. a 16 ..murder.. did I ..murder.. hit? Now ..murder.. I'll roll ..murder.. for damage. Murder. And so .. murder.. on.
gullas 02-21-07, 04:08 PM	45.when one of the players is playing a CE Drow Paladin of slaugther named David Michelangelo Moswell , and tries to poisoin each and every well you find with a soap:)
Real_iceman 02-21-07, 04:27 PM	46. when the party cleric decides to get a tatoo of his mothers face on his bold head. :P
Sajek 02-21-07, 04:54 PM	41) They name their dice. My brother has a d20 named Harvey... 47. They only respond if you call them by their player's name 48. When they start narrating their actions. "I get up and got to the fridge for a snack. I have six ranks in Search, what do I find?"
zzakk2to2 02-21-07, 05:10 PM	49) his favorite sport is from your gaming world 50) if they waited just so they could have the 50th here just to say "If there me"(which i do say thank you very much!)
savant_warlord13 02-21-07, 05:17 PM	1.) The PC's favoured weapon is a +1 adamantine icepick. But the pick was my favorite weapon when I was a player...
savant_warlord13 02-21-07, 05:20 PM	20. His character has a more developed backstory than he does. Where do you guys get these crazy ideas? Replace 'he does' with 'a gerbil' and it could still never happen.
hecatomb3345 02-21-07, 05:22 PM	if he tries to eat his face when he gets angry....
SeptimusMagistos 02-21-07, 05:48 PM	if he has his character rape somebody.
zzakk2to2 02-21-07, 05:55 PM	if he has his character rape somebody. no thats inmature and is either done as a joke or by a Teen.
Demon_Paladin 02-21-07, 09:00 PM	no thats inmature and is either done as a joke or by a Teen. Yeah. Mentally unbalenced. When you point out a rule problem... and you're beaten with a 2-liter. Actually happened to me.
Fencerboy 02-21-07, 09:46 PM	When you point out a rule problem... and you're beaten with a 2-liter. Actually happened to me. I must say, I've had the same experience... Except it was full, and the VERY unbalanced character then proceeded to open it over his hard-worked-on character...
bhu 02-22-07, 02:04 AM	51) Anytime you touch his pink d4 he screams "YOU HAVE VIOLATED MISTER WINKY!!" We no longer play with him
docballen 02-22-07, 03:38 AM	52. He'd rather play D&D than have sex.
halflingvampire 02-28-07, 12:50 PM	53. He thinks he has the ability to roll a crit just by thinking it. 54. They have their character eat the flesh of each foe they kill.
Sudnji_cas 03-01-07, 06:01 PM	55. When they start punching people in real world in the face for XP. yelling: "critical hit" or "in your face dirty NPC"
Evil DM Mk3 03-01-07, 06:11 PM	56: His character is a 4 year old female human Psion in a flowery dress and an ogre thrall in special clothes named "Teddy" and a homunculous called "Bunny".
deadman1204 03-02-07, 05:33 PM	30. When the hulking fighter lines up hundreds of commoners in a strait line to see how far he can travel in 6 seconds via supreme cleave 31. When the ranger takes Favored Enemy(Orphans) Please tell me these were made up and are did not happen!
deadman1204 03-02-07, 05:58 PM	52. He'd rather play D&D than have sex. scarily I saw this once - a kid turned down a really hot date to role play