Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Pangeon 06-15-07, 05:36 PM	You've all had it happen. The evil villain is going into a long, expository speech, one of the players gets bored, and their elf ranger just shoots them. What are some interesting ways you've interrupted the BBEGs monologue? 1. The setup: Dante Moore (my character) is the leader of a gang... er, guild, in the ruined Krisalan City who've been vying for territory with the Siestones, a more powerful, psionic gang. We've been having a merry 'ol time screwing up the Siestones, when... our base of operations comes under heavy assault. After some battles, the group finds themselves on the third floor of the old mansion we've been using as a base of operations, interrogating a traitor, when... The entire front wall of the house rips off, and the leader of the Siestones (a hugely powerful psion) is floating there with the ruins of the house around him. Psion: Dante Moore... Dante: You broke my house! Psion: *monologuing* Your little rebellion is over, Mr. Moore. This never should have happened, any of it. You should have been squashed from the very beginning, but yet, you've managed to kill several of my prominent leaders, my consort from beyond the planes, even my son. Just yesterday... Dante: Put it back! The group was in stitches after that one. The DM later informed me that, after he Gated us to another plane, that he was probably fixing the house already...
mike_beavers 06-15-07, 05:58 PM	one of my players turned the figure that I was using for the bad guy upside down while I was orating about how futile their cause was and that they should bow down and worship me. the figure balanced on its head. I was done for the day.
claypigeons 06-15-07, 06:31 PM	We had a guy start monologuing... I think he was a blackgaurd. He was going through the stuff about how our torment was going to be endless, how our souls would be rent asunder and repaired only to be torn apart again...blah blah. All the while, during the round or so, the rogue, under the effects Greater Invisibility sneaks over to him... Just as his speech reached its climax... Raising his sword, his voice rising in intensity.... "..and now, you shall see the pow.... *SPLORCH* ...er..." A dagger to the gut ended his speach, and, given the luckiest rolls I've ever seen, put the baddie at 1 hp. He tried to run away, but the rogue ended it.
mearrin69 06-15-07, 06:36 PM	Yeah. Disintegrate. Some evil true ghoul some such guy who had stolen a minor artifact we needed to acquire. He just kept going on and on. Disintegrate shut him up nicely... M
DoveArrow 06-15-07, 06:37 PM	In one of our games, our characters were supposed to be going around and collecting signatures so that they could gain citizenship in this one city. In any case, one of the people we were supposed to get signatures from was this BBEG, who, when we tell him why we've come to see him, says "Well, say goodbye to the sun, for you will never see it again." At this point, my gnome asks "But what about our signatures?" It took about five minutes for the DM to recover from the conniptions that I sent him into. Maybe you had to be there.
KillerVole 06-15-07, 07:52 PM	6 (I think). I was running a BBEG who was talking to the party, warning them not to disrupt his plans or they'd destroy the world's balance. From the background, the paladin mumbled, "This guy is so cliche..." That pretty much destroyed the mood.
Zousha_Omenohu 06-15-07, 07:56 PM	7? Never had this happen, but I can sum up a way to stop the monologue (and the session) real quick...WATER BALLOONS!
z_joker 06-15-07, 08:52 PM	7? Never had this happen, but I can sum up a way to stop the monologue (and the session) real quick...WATER BALLOONS! Create Water, right over the BBEG's head. Rinse and repeat :D. (This is assuming balloons are disallowed, of course. You can't beat balloons.)
CryoSilver 06-15-07, 08:55 PM	8: Cast Silence on him!
Cariyaga 06-15-07, 09:08 PM	Somehow, that seems like the best one yet. BBEG: And soon, I shall rule the world, and everything in it! Nothing can st-- Spellcaster: *casts silence* BBEG: *continues talking without realizing he's been silenced* Fighter: So...Wanna go get some tacos? Rogue: I'm up. *ten minutes later* BBEG: *realizes they've all left* (mouths) Aw, man, and I was just getting to the good part, too.
TriOmegaZero 06-15-07, 10:07 PM	Not really from a BBEG, but while playing Return to Temple of Elemental Evil, we open a door and surprise a cultist.... Cultist: Who are you? Who sent you? Dwarven Paladin: MORADIN! *axe to face*
The Livewire 06-15-07, 10:18 PM	Sunless Citadel. Evil Druid: Hold, Adventurers and I'll- Me to DM: Readied action, remember he opens his mouth he gets a tanglefoot bag in it. Yes I hit, and yes he was glued to the floor. We went to see the Two Towers the next morning and cheered at the "He is a wizard, do not let him speak, do not let him cast.' bit. Heart of Nightfang Spire. Not really a last word bit, but the villian is invisible and giving his speech. He reaches the dramatic "Any last words?" My Erudite (who happened to be female and red haired) "Yes. You are the weakest link, good bye." and pumps an empowered disintigrate not into the vampire, but the heart. That shut him up ;-) I had watched Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways the night before.
Devil Gnasher 06-15-07, 11:40 PM	First, negate all magical defenses the villain has. Then either drop a 14 ton weight on his or her head, or cast the necromancy spell Dr. Arthbright's Anarchic Limb. To be more specific, use the spell to make the bad guy punch him or herself in the face while shouting, "Stop hitting yourself." at least five times.
Zousha_Omenohu 06-15-07, 11:47 PM	Or better yet, Dr. Strangelove's Saluting and Choking Limb. It would not be difficult mein Fuhrer...I mean, Mr. Devil Gnasher. :D
Devil Gnasher 06-16-07, 12:03 AM	Or better yet, Dr. Strangelove's Saluting and Choking Limb. It would not be difficult mein Fuhrer...I mean, Mr. Devil Gnasher. :D That's where I got the idea. I'm even thinking about making that as an actual for use in D&D. For your information Dr. Arthbright is the necromancer responsible for the in game creation of this spell.
Zousha_Omenohu 06-16-07, 12:07 AM	Just out of curiosity, who is this Dr. Arthbright? Is he some D&D version of the famous Dr. Strangelove?
vineyard 06-16-07, 12:52 AM	The last campaign I was in had a very annoying BBEG that we had run into a number of times, each time with a more longwinded diatribe then the last. The last time I was able to sneak around him, I coated the inside of my wood buckler with sovereign glue then slammed it into his face....problem solved...pretty much for good.
Lord_Bahamut 06-16-07, 01:37 AM	This was just while we were messing around, we redid the encounter later because the DM got furious with us. :D I remember one time, our party was all 20th level, and I was playing a monk. The epic-level vampire overlord of doom starts going on about how he'll drain us dry one by one, yadda yadda yadda. Our DM drones on, and we (the PCs) start to get a little bored. So we start to play football with the cleric's Shard of the Sun. Needless to say, my monk pwned everyone else at football, at least until the spellcaster lost his temper at being grappled and having the ball stolen for the 10th time... He cast an empowered desintegrate at me! Well, I failed my save, and was instantly destroyed. The rogue, indignantly, says: "Hey, he owed me 20 gp! Now you'll have to pay his debt IN BLOOD!!" Rogue pulls out a dozen scrolls or time stop and delayed blast fireball and drops NINE 17d6 fireballs on the wizard. Well, he was toast. The cleric, angry at the rogue for "cheating" ("Hey, the teams are unbalanced now!"), casts implosion and runs away. A few ronds later, the vampire overlord finishes his speach, only to find a cleric of Pelor running full speed away from him and three piles of ash. :D
Devil Gnasher 06-16-07, 02:31 AM	Just out of curiosity, who is this Dr. Arthbright? Is he some D&D version of the famous Dr. Strangelove? No. Doctor Strangelove would be an evoker or transmuter. Dr. Arthbright is a gnomish necromancer and medical doctor with a wry sense of humor and custom spells to match.
Demon_Paladin 06-16-07, 10:46 AM	A well placed grease spell will do wonders...
Pangeon 06-17-07, 12:36 AM	This was just while we were messing around, we redid the encounter later because the DM got furious with us. :D *snip* A few ronds later, the vampire overlord finishes his speach, only to find a cleric of Pelor running full speed away from him and three piles of ash. :D That's... that's... amazing. :D Have a :coolcthul
Zousha_Omenohu 06-17-07, 03:32 AM	I agree. That had to be one long speech and that vampire lord must have really been a space cadet if you could get in a game of football and then have all that happen while he was droning on like that. This made me laugh so hard. I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read it. :rofl:
calronmoonflower 06-17-07, 03:55 AM	You could do it the Lina Inverse way. That is a try to KO him with a spell. Quickened True Strike/Disintegrate should work. You could also say "Hey you that [insert slightly wrong name] guy." Criticizing his wardrobe or correcting any grammatical error works well to. Have some cast an illusion on a party member to look like him and have the repeat what his says in a mocking manner should PO him to. Point out errors in his plot and/or confuse it with something he didn't have a thing to do with. Asking him a bunch of stupid questions is also good.
celestialkin 06-17-07, 04:47 AM	7? Never had this happen, but I can sum up a way to stop the monologue (and the session) real quick...WATER BALLOONS! I am so making a mental note of this. :rofl: However, carrying around some water balloons would be a hassle. I do always carry around a few pouches filled with flour on my belt, though...
Airos 06-17-07, 09:45 AM	I once had a DM muck things up all by himself. We get to the BBEG, having fought our way through all the traps and minions. Just as the DM finishes his big speech, and goes into detail to describe the room and everything for this super dramatic scene, the DM grabs a handful of pretzels and makes the loudest crunching sound in the world while his cheeks are all puffy like a squirrel. Completely ruined any respect I had for the villain. :doh:
Mai_ariti 06-17-07, 01:57 PM	Not an evil character but one of my players was giving an entirely too long speech to the villagers about the plan he had for creating a water line from the well to the burning building he was trying to save. He was interrupted by a rumbeling sound as the top of the well exploded and the water all rushed towards the building. The party Druid had cast control water.
CryoSilver 06-18-07, 12:14 PM	??: Drop kick him in the ******* (Charge + Superior Unarmed Strike + Stunning Fist (in this case, boot) + Flying Kick)
Sunic_Flames 06-18-07, 12:23 PM	??: Drop kick him in the ******* (Charge + Superior Unarmed Strike + Stunning Fist (in this case, boot) + Flying Kick) And on a similar note... give em a Boot to da Head.
InyourCloset 06-18-07, 12:45 PM	The fighter in my party waited till the BBEG said something on the line of "you shall never escape from here alive..." or something like that; if you wait long enough, they always do. Then the fighter would interrupt the BBEG by saying: "They all tell me the same thing. And now they are all dead." He did that to 4-5 BBEG, till we encountered one who handed our asses to us nicely. That shut him up.
GnomeMade 06-18-07, 01:25 PM	Isn't this what Thunderstones were invented for? Ask him where his bathroom is. If you're a warlock with the invocation that allows you to take out your eye, throw it at him. Bet the rogue that you can get it in his mouth. (Extra shock value if as a player you have grapes as a snack food and when the Dm's mouth hangs open in shock, throw a grape in!) Hit on him. As in tell him that you're after him for his great body and could he please shut up now, he's ruining your moment by babbling. (Really funny when the enemy is a vampire male and you are a female necromancer.) Out of your bag of holding, pull out your awakened undead mariachi band. Clap at inappropriate moments.
RealSorceror 06-18-07, 02:03 PM	During a campaign crossover, one of our good PCs (a Drow Knight) encountered one of my evil PCs from a different game. The DM allowed me to play the evil PC (Twin, a Changeling Factotum/Chameleon) as an NPC for that encounter. After my Githyanki thugs and I beat the Knight into the mud, I started monologing. I imitated the Knight's face and voiced, and mockingly assured him that his wife and child would be "just fine". :evillaugh He rolled divine intervention (a houserule where the player must roll a 100 on a d100), and a Lesser Deity showed up and punched me in the face, literally propelling me through time, 10 rounds into the future. :eek: The encounter was over and everyone had left by the time I reappeared, except the deity was still there, waiting to take me into custody. :weep:
RealSorceror 06-18-07, 02:34 PM	Although this didn't actually stop the BBEG from completing his monologue, I once used Impromptu Sneak Attack to stab a lich in the chest. It dealt no damage, and the lich told me to sit down before I hurt myself. :x He finished the entire speech, but with a rapier lodged in his sternum. And yes, at one point I did ask for my sword back, but he said no.
Bedevere 06-18-07, 02:49 PM	One time, a really powerful demon had showed up, and was monologuing about his evil plans. Someone tried to interrupt, and got hit by an insanity effect for their troubles. The character in question starts cataloguing the nearby sticks on the ground, ignoring everything else going on. Demon: blah blah blah, and then I shall destroy the world!!!! PC: I've found a popsicle! Needless to say, this stopped the entire game for quite a while...
Rania 06-18-07, 07:16 PM	... My Erudite (who happened to be female and red haired) "Yes. You are the weakest link, good bye." and pumps an empowered disintigrate not into the vampire, but the heart. That shut him up ;-) I had watched Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways the night before.Doctor Who.... Oh yes. *ecstatic bliss*
Rogue Shadows 06-18-07, 08:16 PM	BBEG: And so... Iliira: Soon, I will be unstoppable! BBEG:...I'm sorry? Iliira: That was your next line. BBEG:...uh... Iliira: Then you'd raise you fist and shake it a little. BBEG: No, I wasn't. Iliira: You're just saying that- BBEG: I'm serious. I really wasn't going to say that. Iliira: Right...
Rabid Dire Wolverine 06-18-07, 08:48 PM	You could use prestidigitation to turn him purple, mess with his hair, drop a small pile of dirt or a stone on his head, etc.
Zousha_Omenohu 06-18-07, 11:50 PM	Accuse his hair of being impermanent and false. Squash his prized tonberry. Suggest that he would be able to trace his lineage to a simple courtesan. Impugn the honor of his family. Suggest that he perform acts of deliberate indecency upon himself. Viciously threaten his cat. Have a local dog evacuate in the BBEG's shoe. Throw an egg at him. Refer to him as "smelly". I love Jade Empire!:D
lunoc 06-19-07, 12:50 PM	start monologuing about your evil plan
Sunic_Flames 06-19-07, 01:41 PM	Thump his nose with a Mage Hand. Cast Silence on a Tanglefoot Bag and throw it at him. (If into that) Grope him with a Mage Hand.
Mindolin 06-19-07, 01:49 PM	Summon a Medium astral construct behind him, then use Telekenitic Thrust to cause him to trip over the Astral Construct.
Doom_Linnorm 06-19-07, 02:30 PM	Me, I would eat the BBEG to shut him up.... but not everybody has that option. Prestidigitation to alter his voice, make it really high pitched, either he stops and its funny or he continues without realizing and its funnier. Continue full scale assualt, don't just have a character sneak up and backstab, just ignore the fact he's monologing. Sit down and play a game of dice, after five minutes ask if he's finished. Use Conjure rotten fruit and vegetables, you should figure out what to do next. Breathweapon his bum! (Again not always an option.) Set his mustache on fire. Or his/her cloak or other article of clothing if BBEG lacks a mustache. Or his/her hair. If there is nothing available to set on fire for comic relief, complain to your DM about the BBEG, lack of flammable accessories. That should atleast waylay the game, thus interrupting the BBEG's monologue despite the lack of flammability.
Rania 04-01-08, 05:49 PM	Hey, this needs to get bumped up again!
Sunic_Flames 04-01-08, 06:12 PM	Did anyone get pants him with a Mage Hand? I know I got a few others that involve it...
Makuya 04-01-08, 07:24 PM	Mage Hand huh? Why not poke the uvula (the thing in the back of his mouth) with it?
MacrossSD 04-01-08, 07:38 PM	The rogue, indignantly, says: "Hey, he owed me 20 gp! Now you'll have to pay his debt IN BLOOD!!" I don't know why it is, but this is the most laugh-out-loud part of the whole story. :D
MacrossSD 04-01-08, 07:42 PM	You could use prestidigitation to turn him purple, mess with his hair, drop a small pile of dirt or a stone on his head, etc. Even better...nothing says "I don't care, I'm screwing with your monologue" like a Wand of Wonder. No matter what happens, comedy gold will ensue. :)
calronmoonflower 04-01-08, 09:13 PM	Dominate his second (or minion) and command them to attack the BBEG.
Drenack 04-01-08, 11:31 PM	Crisis of breath then while he struggles to breath, you begin the assault.
roninwolf1981 04-02-08, 12:10 AM	I did this with my first D&D character ever: I was playing a Half Orc Fighter loosely based on Majin Buu from DBZ (like I said, first character...). The DM let me have a ring that would turn someone into chocolate if they failed a Will save something like 3 or 4 times a day. The BBEG, this huge dragon was going on and on about how he was gonna eat us and blah blah blah... Needless to say, Buu got bored. Then hungry. The Dragon rolled a natural one on his Will save. And we had about three tons of chocolate in the shape of a giant dragon. :w00t: :ayyyy!:
Smygarn 04-02-08, 02:11 AM	We had a blackguard that was making talk. Talk is headache for Thokk. Thokk chop headache-making black-armoured dude. Then drops house on him for good riddance. (Barbarian with 8 int, 8 wis, and 22 str is so awesome to play sometimes)
Eldrith_Hawkflight 04-02-08, 03:55 PM	Well the only BBEG that monologed in a game I played convivced the party to turn to her side and then attack me. I survived but thats what you get for playing a paladin. But i do have ideas Mage Hand- so much to do, I won't name everything moon him/her go over to him/her sit in their lap and ask for a bed-time story ANYthing that bugs bunny ever did walk away correct his grammer, or point out flaws in his plan interupt him/her to ask what one of his words mean.
Rania 04-02-08, 05:12 PM	- Start singing Wuthering Heights. For those of you that don't know, it's by Kate Bush, and VERY high-pitched. If you sing it loudly, and you aren't trained in vocals, your throat will be sore for a couple of hours; but it's the best song to disturb anything. And, anyone here ever watch The Gamers? :D
lunoc 04-02-08, 05:30 PM	if your a kobold (i was once), start building things. dangerous things. by the time hes done talking, you can have a whole tom and jerry style trap system built.
rivaltuna 04-02-08, 08:09 PM	An interesting event happened to me. A rift in the time/space/magic (equal to IRL TSC) caused all of the gods to lose their avatars and divine rank for 24 hours. They were forced to walk the material plane with nothing but the artifacts they had on hand, and their followers had no idea where to find them or how to locate them. For all intents and purposes it was as if they simply vanished. Btw, the divine rank was still in them, just repressed. Thus if anyone killed them, they still gained their power. The dieties still had all their hitdice and class levels. They were treated as "humanoids" or whatever their natural form was for the 24 hours, and lost all imunities and weaknesses asociated with such. I was running a high (16-18) level campaign at the time, and a LN PC of mine who had a lot of respect for St. Cuthbert saw the ACTUAL St. Cuthbert preaching to a bunch of cowering kobolds. So what does he do? Screams "IMPOSTER!!!" and with a might natural 20 of his VORPAL LONGSWORD, critted good 'ol Cuthy's head with one might swish. Needless to say I bought the Epic Level Handbook the next day.
Rania 04-03-08, 11:51 AM	An interesting event happened to me. A rift in the time/space/magic (equal to IRL TSC) caused all of the gods to lose their avatars and divine rank for 24 hours. They were forced to walk the material plane with nothing but the artifacts they had on hand, and their followers had no idea where to find them or how to locate them. For all intents and purposes it was as if they simply vanished. Btw, the divine rank was still in them, just repressed. Thus if anyone killed them, they still gained their power. The deities still had all their hitdice and class levels. They were treated as "humanoids" or whatever their natural form was for the 24 hours, and lost all immunities and weaknesses associated with such. I was running a high (16-18) level campaign at the time, and a LN PC of mine who had a lot of respect for St. Cuthbert saw the ACTUAL St. Cuthbert preaching to a bunch of cowering kobolds. So what does he do? Screams "IMPOSTER!!!" and with a might natural 20 of his VORPAL LONGSWORD, critted good 'ol Cuthy's head with one might swish. Needless to say I bought the Epic Level Handbook the next day.*snicker*
Shadowfax84 04-03-08, 02:35 PM	:D This is my personal favorite that I have been part of, and I have been part of alot trust me. We had started as level 5 characters but this was the last session and we were level 18 now so needless to say we were buff. First the dude began to monologue then I decide to have fun. Sudden Silent, Sudden Maximize Time Stop So I now have 5 rounds to do as I wish. 1) I cast Magic Cirlcle against Evil directed inward. ( He's a Vampire) 2) I cast Dimensional Lock on the area. 3) I cast Silence on area 4) I asked the DM if it was ok when he said yes I pulled down the pants of the dude and ran away to a safe distance. 5) Ran back to my spot and turned and cast Gate above him. One end was horizanital above him the other was inside a active volcano on the Elemental Plane of Fire. So when the time stop ended I was back in place he was continuing to monologue when he realized that he could not here himself, then I smiled and winked pointing up by the time he looked he had a face-ful molten rock. My party had to stay in charater which was hard because they had to play like they had no idea what hell happened which is hard when everyone is laughing so hard. My DM just sat there laughing and eventually clapped his hands and said good job that was amazing he showed me a sheet of paper that had round by round what the BBEG was going to do after entering combat, which he never got to do.:D
Hellsbells 04-03-08, 07:38 PM	During a school game session thingy someone once started reading random lines from Macbeth (with stage directions for everyones benefit) while trying to stay in character. The hag covenent got pretty ******. (not technically BBEG but ranting villains)
Hayabusa 04-03-08, 09:47 PM	A good-aligned NPC in a Star Wars game was urged to speak with the group of pirates that she had been a part of in an attempt to make them overthrow the cabal of pseudo-Sith (unknown to the party, they just think that they're just Force-sensitive). She gets just past the opening portion of the speech when the leader force chokes her. She's still alive at the moment, but it was kind of amusing.
Eldrith_Hawkflight 04-04-08, 03:18 PM	That reminds me in a SW campain I played in when the Sith BBEG starts talking, my soldier starts shooting.:D
MagickHobo 04-04-08, 03:27 PM	@Rania: Called shot to the nuts! Something I thought of: Have the bard start "playing him off" like on an award's show. Something that I did: BBEG: ... And we shall cleanse the world with our might! Nations will--- Warblade, Swordsage and Cleric in tandem: DUM DA DUM DUM DA DAAAHHHH!!!! (http://youtube.com/watch?v=vhKpSuUlAdU) Our Spirits are aflame! If we feel the fire, there is no one we cannot defeat! Now this hand of mine is burning red! It's loud roar tells me to defeat you! So take this, all of my love, my anger, my hate and ALL OF MY SORROW! ERUPTING SHUFFLE ALLIANCE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!! *massive gankage* Ranger: :rolleyes: ... Broken. The Warblade, me, did a Burning Blade + Emerald Razor + full Power Attack, the Swordsage did a Burning Blade + Mountain Hammer (of some sort) with his unarmed strike, and the Cleric used her unarmed strike to deliver a Cause Moderate Wounds. Playing with fellow anime nerds is fun :D.
Abyssal_Eye 04-04-08, 03:52 PM	On another note you as the DM can really mess with parties that do listen to these really extensive monologues... Let's just say that, after a terribly exhausting monologue (followed by an equally exhausting dialogue because the players tried to gather as much info about the BBEG's plans as possible), when the PCs finally attack, there are quite funny expressions on their faces upon discovering that they have been talking to a semi-sentient projection of the BBEG all the time, while the actual BBEG has quickly vacated his lair but not without making sure the treasury goes with him. Oh, and the whole detailed plan told to the PCs was fake, too.:D They really should have noticed something is up by the time the BBEG was quizzing them about his plans to see if they understood everything correctly, though. Oh, well...
Naderion 04-04-08, 04:12 PM	- Let the barbarian "do something intelligent". (Ah... that was probably the best story I've ever heard.)
beepaladin 04-04-08, 05:06 PM	Isn't this what Thunderstones were invented for? Oh my god, that's brilliant.
Lord_Raziere 04-04-08, 10:31 PM	simple, use Shout, or some other sonic spell
Authw8 04-05-08, 11:43 AM	Bigby's slapping hand (miniatures handbook) funniest spell ever
Alter_Boy 04-05-08, 01:19 PM	Crime Lord of Sharn: "You fools! My thugs have surrounded you. There is no escape!" PC: "Oh yeah? Look under there!" Crime Lord: "Under where?" PC: "I made you say underwear." :P
MagickHobo 04-05-08, 04:03 PM	Crime Lord of Sharn: "You fools! My thugs have surrounded you. There is no escape!" PC: "Oh yeah? Look under there!" Crime Lord: "Under where?" PC: "I made you say underwear." :P No one can defeat child-like innocence :D
weezact7 04-05-08, 11:16 PM	We had a guy start monologuing... I think he was a blackgaurd. He was going through the stuff about how our torment was going to be endless, how our souls would be rent asunder and repaired only to be torn apart again...blah blah. All the while, during the round or so, the rogue, under the effects Greater Invisibility sneaks over to him... Just as his speech reached its climax... Raising his sword, his voice rising in intensity.... "..and now, you shall see the pow.... *SPLORCH* ...er..." A dagger to the gut ended his speach, and, given the luckiest rolls I've ever seen, put the baddie at 1 hp. He tried to run away, but the rogue ended it. I had a similar situation happen with my game. I had a Drow Samurai (who was supposed to function differently than most Drow) come to assasinate the PCs. He was several levels above them and they bantered a bit before our warrior got insulted and charged him. He missed, but the rogue comes up behind him and crits him down to like 1/3 health. Since he was supposed to survive the fight, I had to have him port out, lol. Best ways to end a monologue? Well our Monk was being told to leave the castle via the (very high) balcony by the king. We thought we were in Hell at this point, btw. When he refused we heard some chanting which we believed was the king, so the monk punched him in the face. We later learned that we might have been in the real world after all. My favorite is when I had the PCs do a "fanfic" version of RFK from WoW (as it was a Warcraft setting). They made it to the Lich who was monologuing. Then our warrior asked some random, but completely appropriate, question which threw me off so much I couldn't continue with the monologue so the Lich just stood there dumbfounded before attacking in a fury.
zeratulcraft 04-05-08, 11:25 PM	Get the bard to play Through The Fire And The Flames (Dragonforce) on his lute. Seriously, it causes jaw droppage.
Eldrith_Hawkflight 04-06-08, 03:14 PM	The solution to several problems: Throw a warhammer.:eek: SPLAT
roninwolf1981 04-06-08, 08:37 PM	Here's one that's almost as good as a ginormous chocolate dragon: Warforged BBEG: Now we will destroy your pitiful plane of exist... Paladin/Monk: CHARGING STUNNING FIST SMITE ATTACK!! *POW!*
Druss_of_The_Sword 04-06-08, 08:43 PM	A Yo Momma joke. or Try to trick/decieve/sneak towrds them. Then when they ask "Do I look stupid?" have the offender scream "DONT ANSWER ITS A TRICK QUESTION!!!".
celestialkin 04-06-08, 08:52 PM	Fart. Both in character and out. This thread stayed in my memory, so I actually did this one recently. Kind of immature, and a bit cliche (if you watch cartoons), but if you have an immature/fun oriented group it does the trick. :D
trespassers 04-06-08, 10:57 PM	Okay i loved all of these, especially that one guy's (you know who you are). Mine wasn't a BBEG but this village leader that wouldn't stop talking. Our party had trekked for days in discomfort to find this village in the middle of the scary woods. An older man steps out and raises his hands in greeting and says "Welcome, adventurers!" and proceeds to yak on and on about how our coming was foretold and how awesome their seers are since they knew we were coming. And my grumpy and exhausted cleric finally broke in with "Okay, great, so you have rooms, a hot meal and baths prepared. Maybe we can talk about how fantastic your village is after we've had a moment to clean up." :mad: DM: :eek: Oh. Right. The ... rooms. Right this way.
Rania 04-07-08, 11:11 AM	@Rania: Called shot to the nuts!LOL. That was so funny.... But what I was thinking of was when they got ambushed in the forest, and the elf kept shooting that guy.
Rania 04-07-08, 11:39 AM	Also: do ANYTHING that calls for a Fort save, such as eating your shoes.
Rania 04-18-08, 01:00 PM	Needs to get bumped back up....
ADHadh 04-18-08, 02:22 PM	Also: do ANYTHING that calls for a Fort save, such as eating your shoes. Better yet: start eating someone else's shoes! If it still doesn't work, start eating the BBEG's shoes (if present).
Rania 04-21-08, 01:49 PM	Better yet: start eating someone else's shoes! If it still doesn't work, start eating the BBEG's shoes (if present).LOL! Or, start eating their hair. (I thought of another thing that you could "eat", but.... Well, if you'd find it amusing in the first place, you'll get what I mean.)
Eldrith_Hawkflight 04-21-08, 03:46 PM	Which brings "Mage Hand" *wink *wink back into the fortay
Stayker 04-21-08, 04:33 PM	Not a BBEG, but pretty close for our harried party...this needs a little set-up: Our group consisted of (AD&D 1st Edition) a human barbarian, human magic-user, drow cavalier (me, good), drow cleric (evil), and a halfling thief. The GM was a GM-from-hell. We were fairly low level and all beat up. The magic-user had been killed fairly early on and the drow cleric had animated his corpse and sent him ahead of us to trigger traps, ambushes, etc. (Much to the player's indignation!) The magic-user's corpse was finally dismembered by a trap and lost a leg. The halfling suggested we put the body in a bag of holding he had. Good idea we said. And we laughed hard when somebody said "bodybag of holding". As the barbarian was stuffing the body into the bag, the GM ruled that the body wouldn't fit and the leg was sticking out. I shrugged and said "So, cut it off". Which the barbarian promptly did. With his ax. I picked up the bag with the magic-user's corpse and we started looking for an exit knowing we needed to get somewhere and have him resurrected. We stumbled along and into a natural cavern. There, in the dark, we came face-to-face with a Behir! His eyes lit up and he started moving his serpentine body towards us, rearing up his head. He hissed, "I hunger." I said, "Here. Have a sack lunch." And I tossed the bag of holding towards him.
lunoc 04-21-08, 05:24 PM	Get the bard to play Through The Fire And The Flames (Dragonforce) on his lute. Seriously, it causes jaw droppage. i have a bard who uses a guitar hero controller as his instroment, through the fire and the flames is a 9th level spell
Rania 04-22-08, 11:15 AM	Which brings "Mage Hand" *wink *wink back into the fortay*snicker*
Staple 04-22-08, 11:08 PM	Get the bard to play Through The Fire And The Flames (Dragonforce) on his lute. Seriously, it causes jaw droppage. We actually ruled that Through the Fire and Flames is what a DC 40 Perform check sounds like. I had a Cleric of St. Cuthbert once who was a cop. He interrupted the monologue to read him his rights. The BBEG starts to interrupt him to scoff at the idea that a street cop could arrest him, at which point the Cleric busts out a DMM Quickened Diving Power and charges him.