101 Ways to Start A Fight [Archive] - Wizards Community

101 Ways to Start A Fight [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Tarvok
10-01-06, 10:12 PM Bonus points to those who get the refernce by naming the author of the book...

Consistantly mixing up the names of the party dwarf and the party elf.
Complaining of hunger and eyeing the sorcerer's familiar.
LordBOB777
10-01-06, 10:19 PM 3. Your Barbarian Not showering/rolling in mud every day just for the fun of it (believe me it works)
Silverthumb128
10-01-06, 10:28 PM 4. Ro-sham-bo over every gold piece after the dungeon crawl.
Chicharron
10-01-06, 10:40 PM It's by an Irish gentleman, whose name eludes me at the moment...
Myree
10-01-06, 11:19 PM 5. Having a Barb constantly badgering the Wiz about what spells he SHOULD have used and how he is constantly bailing out everyone else.
6. Have a Wiz with a habit of not noticing when the Barb is charging INTO that target area....
Edaine
10-01-06, 11:28 PM a paladin who violates his alignment in every way possible using loopholes such as that tribe of innocent kobolds had 2 stolen copper pieces:smirk:
Edaine
10-01-06, 11:34 PM 8: say forward slash poke "taget name" every tiem "taget" begins to speak
9: pretend to have short term memory loss,make sure every bit of speech should go on for 2 hours minimum :twitch:
10: follow those who look wealthy / well equipped/ murderous/ frustrated/ trained in the arts of killing asking for a cookie ..... then another cookie: rinse and repeat:rant:
Edaine
10-01-06, 11:41 PM 11: claim that you are me you will be attacked 18 times within 5 minutes, and dead in the hour
12:i dont feel like giving 12 okay?, gosh your freaking annoying!:tantrum:
13:every time you see someone who has left your vision for more than 2 seconds introduce yourself pretend you've never met and go into your utterly ridiculous unbelieveably epic world carviong back story which takes about 6 hours if you don't take time to breath between words:P
14: all you need is a stupid grin:dancin:
Darkxarth
10-02-06, 12:13 AM 15. Argue with a Dwarf, about anything.
Tarvok
10-02-06, 12:20 AM It's by an Irish gentleman, whose name eludes me at the moment...

:clap: :w00t:
Lord Gwydion
10-02-06, 12:21 AM 16. Roll Initiative
Silverthumb128
10-02-06, 01:06 AM 11: claim that you are me you will be attacked 18 times within 5 minutes, and dead in the hour
12:i dont feel like giving 12 okay?, gosh your freaking annoying!:tantrum:
13:every time you see someone who has left your vision for more than 2 seconds introduce yourself pretend you've never met and go into your utterly ridiculous unbelieveably epic world carviong back story which takes about 6 hours if you don't take time to breath between words:P
14: all you need is a stupid grin:dancin:

16. Not posting them all at the same time, or using the EDIT BUTTON to add on afterthoughts.
rG_Shadowmage
10-02-06, 01:15 AM Randomly pick pocket anyone in your group... I always liked doing that. :D
SageBahamut
10-02-06, 01:19 AM 17: Cast "continual flame" on the halfling.

18: Steal the wizard's spellbook and hide it. Extra points if you convincingly hide it on the barbarian.

19: Grease the fighter's sword handle. Make sure it looks as much as possible like the grease produced by the wizard's Grease spell.

20: Paint the Druid's animal companion.
20a: Sell the Druid's animal companion.
20b: Get a scroll and Awaken the Druid's animal companion while he's sleeping, then watch his reaction when his raccoon offers him Earl Grey tea by name the next morning.

21: Wait till the elf is deep in trance, then pierce his ears.

22: Braid the dwarf's beard while he's asleep.
22a: Braid all of the dwarf's hair while he's asleep.
22b: Shave all of the dwarf's hair while he's asleep. Extra points if you convincingly frame the glowing halfling.

23: Replace the ranger's arrows with trick ones that, when nocked and released, instead of firing unroll into a scroll that reads "swish-thunk". :D

24: Insult the dwarf.
24a: Insult the dwarf's father.
24b: Insult the elf's father. (He's still alive so he'll beat you up himself.)

25: Lick your knives clean after every fight.
25a: Do it where the paladin can see.
Darkxarth
10-02-06, 01:52 AM 17: Cast "continual flame" on the halfling.

18: Steal the wizard's spellbook and hide it. Extra points if you convincingly hide it on the barbarian.

19: Grease the fighter's sword handle. Make sure it looks as much as possible like the grease produced by the wizard's Grease spell.

20: Paint the Druid's animal companion.
20a: Sell the Druid's animal companion.
20b: Get a scroll and Awaken the Druid's animal companion while he's sleeping, then watch his reaction when his raccoon offers him Earl Grey tea by name the next morning.

21: Wait till the elf is deep in trance, then pierce his ears.

22: Braid the dwarf's beard while he's asleep.
22a: Braid all of the dwarf's hair while he's asleep.
22b: Shave all of the dwarf's hair while he's asleep. Extra points if you convincingly frame the glowing halfling.

23: Replace the ranger's arrows with trick ones that, when nocked and released, instead of firing unroll into a scroll that reads "swish-thunk". :D

24: Insult the dwarf.
24a: Insult the dwarf's father.
24b: Insult the elf's father. (He's still alive so he'll beat you up himself.)

25: Lick your knives clean after every fight.
25a: Do it where the paladin can see.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :heehee

Whew, nice... I wish I had something else to add to that, but I don't...:(
rivaltuna
10-02-06, 02:18 AM 26. Go to any D&D convention and scream out "DRIZZT IS A PANSY!!!"
otakutaylor
10-02-06, 02:30 AM 27. Punch the BBEG before he finishes his monolouge.

28. Throw a punch, at anyone, doesn't matter. The DM will punish you by making whoever you punch a your level+6 th level fighter.

29. Steal, plot to steal, think of stealing, look like you might steal, refrence a movie where someone steals, the dwarfs ale.

30. Touch, plot to touch, think of touching, look like you might touch, reference a movie where someone touches, the elves ears.

31. 29 or 30, but towards the stuff the rogue already stole from the party.

32. Say you've got nothing to do while traveling. A random encounter becomes much less random when you've nothing to do.

33. Insult anything that can shapeshift. you've got a 90% change you're talking to it.
ORC_Paradox
10-02-06, 02:47 AM Overheard in a tavern in Waterdeep moments before The Massacre of 1377, "I really wish I was in Khorvaire."
Alcari Ambaron
10-02-06, 03:18 AM 35 - start any discussion with a person by decapitating the guy next to him.

36 - question the race of someone's mother, infer that her skin may probably have been green or brown and scaly

37 - question the elfs ability to wield that big sword of his, with his spindly little arms.
anki
10-02-06, 03:40 AM 38.Go into a tavern and Dominate the waiter to get what that big half-orc is having.

39.Draw your weapon and wave it infront of the king.

40.Draw the halfling and wave him infront of the kings jewels.

41.Get drunk...:D

42.Get drunk by drinking all of the dwarfs ale.
Giant Turtle
10-02-06, 03:40 AM 26. Go to any D&D convention and scream out "DRIZZT IS A PANSY!!!"
but... Drizz't IS a pansy!

38a - Make a Wand of Minor Image and give it to the rogue
38b - Create a minor image of the Paladin's opposing diety over all his holy symbols
38c - Convince the paladin that the rogue did it
Slightly_Unscrewed
10-02-06, 07:09 PM 43: Punch somebody
molten_dragon
10-02-06, 07:27 PM 44. Tell the wizard that that stupid bird hanging around with him tasted terrible.

45. Continually ask stupid questions about the cleric's faith (but how can pelor be the god of the sun AND the god of healing, the sun can't heal you, it'll just give you sunburn)
flipoflak92
10-02-06, 07:41 PM im going to use so many of these in the next upcoming campaign.. especially the punching ones, and the decapitating one, and the familiar one
flipoflak92
10-02-06, 07:48 PM 46. take the king hostage in the next capitol city

47. steal the wizards spell book, and rip it up, then blame it on either the gnome, or his familiar

48. tie up the rest of the party, and leave them in the middle of the woods, and come back for them one day later
48a. and threaten to cut off their head ( perform a coupe de grace (spelling))

49. when the party gets into an encounter, just completely ignore it [the encounter] and wait for the others to stop fighting
Fireclave
10-02-06, 08:18 PM 50. Find the seediest, most rundown bar in town. Bust through the door and make a scene as you walk in. With a smug look on your face, slowly walk up the the biggest, baddest, baldest, most tatooed half-orc in the joint. Stare defiantly into his eyes for a few seconds to build dramatic tension. Sneer and then let roll off your lips:

Yo Mama...
desean101
10-02-06, 08:36 PM 51. Collect Horse tax from the half-gaint barbarian tribe

52. Give the dragon an enema

53. Pee on the citadel of Grumish's wall

54. Make constant threat to kill the sorcerers familiar

55. Attack a Bald barbarian in the Bar with 2 of your friends to find out later he is part of your church
desean101
10-02-06, 08:49 PM 51. Collect Horse tax from the half-gaint barbarian tribe

52. Give the dragon an enema

53. Pee on the citadel of Grumish's wall

54. Make constant threat to kill the sorcerers familiar

55. Attack a Bald barbarian in the Bar with 2 of your friends to find out later he is part of your church

the party cleric of pelor, Gynorm (Me) ,Collected horse tax from an elderly old man in front of the city guard while the town was being attacked by the leviathan.
eca
10-02-06, 08:52 PM 56. Grab the bard's instrument during an encounter and start fighting with it.

57. After the party defeats the BBEG of your campaign, raise him from the dead as an undead slave and make him your "pet". (If you can, do it secretly)

58. After the party starts sleeping, have your new "pet" snuggle up right next to the party member you want to fight. Imagin waking up next to that after a hard night of drinking and partying over your recent victory, only to find your recently defeated enemy in your bed...
steamboat28
10-02-06, 08:55 PM 50. Find the seediest, most rundown bar in town. Bust through the door and make a scene as you walk in. With a smug look on your face, slowly walk up the the biggest, baddest, baldest, most tatooed half-orc in the joint. Stare defiantly into his eyes for a few seconds to build dramatic tension. Sneer and then let roll off your lips:

Yo Mama...

Y'know, in my experience, you could stop after the word "town" in the first sentence. That's all it ever takes for a fight to start in the campaigns I play in. lol
Fireclave
10-02-06, 08:56 PM the party cleric of pelor, Gynorm (Me) ,Collected horse tax from an elderly old man in front of the city guard while the town was being attacked by the leviathan.
And by "collect" he means "knocked the man out with the blunt side of his halberd and stole" and by "horse tax" he means "the poor old man's only transportation to safety as the town was being destroyed" :nonono:
desean101
10-02-06, 08:58 PM 56. Go buy an untrained lion from the blackmarket and walk it up the sorcerers familiar with a big grin

57.Tell the party cleric his god never existed and he is a failure at life

58. call the Wizard retarded

59. Spray paint the wizards familiar while they are sleep

60. Deep fry the Familiar and then lay it next to the parties barbarian

61. Give the wizard a piece of his familiar
Pandaemoni
10-02-06, 08:59 PM 50. Find the seediest, most rundown bar in town. Bust through the door and make a scene as you walk in. With a smug look on your face, slowly walk up the the biggest, baddest, baldest, most tatooed half-orc in the joint. Stare defiantly into his eyes for a few seconds to build dramatic tension. Sneer and then let roll off your lips:

Yo Mama...

You need to keep max ranks in Perform (Yo Mama Jokes)
desean101
10-02-06, 09:19 PM And by "collect" he means "knocked the man out with the blunt side of his halberd and stole" and by "horse tax" he means "the poor old man's only transportation to safety as the town was being destroyed" :nonono:

yeah its true i went to court with fireclave as my lawyer. got off buy only paying 1000 gold.

though the horse later was Eaten by a Big ass Giant sloth.

Good bye fair Seabiscuit ...... I knew thee well.... :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:
speeblefreak
10-02-06, 09:36 PM 62. Recreate the Farador video on the Simbul.

63. Put a paladin and a CN Binder in the same party.

64. Graft the dwarf's beard to the elf.

65. Graft the dwarf to the elf.

66. Say to the barb, "Execute Order..." (works best with metagamers)
Stardrake
10-02-06, 10:00 PM 67. Use the idol in the center of the Barbarian village as an outhouse.

68. Then complain about the lack of T.P.....

Oh, and by the way, do you have ETHEL THE AARD-VARK GOES QUANTITY SURVEYING?
cog_and_taz
10-03-06, 08:33 AM but... Drizz't IS a pansy!

HE.IS.NOT!!!!!!drizzt is as mighty and fearless as a kobold!
CharlieRock
10-03-06, 10:31 AM Buy a 20lb. bag of flour, cut the top off, whirl it around in a crowded tavern.
Next day, tell your party you are off to buy a 20lb. bag of flour :)
tsunehiko
10-03-06, 02:38 PM 70. Kill and raise as a skeleton your paladin�s cohort - then say to the paladin he was too fat and show his cohort after a diet :)

71. Cast stone wall every day, to block the mayor�s door.

72. Steal the cleric�s holy simbol, then hide it in the halfling stuff. If everything goes wrong, blame the barbarian.

73. Sabote the barbarians great axe, making it�s blade goes loose. Then blame the halfling.
Hell_Bane
10-03-06, 03:50 PM -Tell the king that her daughter, who your party just rescued, is alone with the group's Bard at the moment, she wanting to thank him and everything.
-Tell a female centaur her behind is as big as a horse's.
-Try to sell magic lenses to a beholder.
-As the party's Rogue, tell everyone that the way is clear, especially when it's actually rigged with a deadly trap. Repeat as needed.
-Try to sell this year's fashionable and colorful (pink, yellow, light blue) clothes to the dark vampire lord who lives secluded in his castle.
-Try to sell a magnificent table set, along with the silverware, to the town's werewolf.
-Ask the party's elf if it's true that male elves aren't as... well-endowed as male humans.
-Your party finds itself in Ravenloft, and you decide to go see what's on the other side of the thick mist over there...
-Send the daltonian (as in "can't differentiate some colors") member of your party to strike a deal with the nearby dragon, assuring him that he is of good alignment. Too bad he's daltonian and can't really see the color of the scales uh?
Hell_Bane
10-03-06, 03:53 PM -You're the party's Psychic (check Green Ronin publishing's Psychic's Handbook) and you hypnotize the party's Wizard into thinking he's a Barbarian, giving him an axe and letting him charge into the melee.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Tarvok 10-01-06, 10:12 PM	Bonus points to those who get the refernce by naming the author of the book... Consistantly mixing up the names of the party dwarf and the party elf. Complaining of hunger and eyeing the sorcerer's familiar.
LordBOB777 10-01-06, 10:19 PM	3. Your Barbarian Not showering/rolling in mud every day just for the fun of it (believe me it works)
Silverthumb128 10-01-06, 10:28 PM	4. Ro-sham-bo over every gold piece after the dungeon crawl.
Chicharron 10-01-06, 10:40 PM	It's by an Irish gentleman, whose name eludes me at the moment...
Myree 10-01-06, 11:19 PM	5. Having a Barb constantly badgering the Wiz about what spells he SHOULD have used and how he is constantly bailing out everyone else. 6. Have a Wiz with a habit of not noticing when the Barb is charging INTO that target area....
Edaine 10-01-06, 11:28 PM	a paladin who violates his alignment in every way possible using loopholes such as that tribe of innocent kobolds had 2 stolen copper pieces:smirk:
Edaine 10-01-06, 11:34 PM	8: say forward slash poke "taget name" every tiem "taget" begins to speak 9: pretend to have short term memory loss,make sure every bit of speech should go on for 2 hours minimum :twitch: 10: follow those who look wealthy / well equipped/ murderous/ frustrated/ trained in the arts of killing asking for a cookie ..... then another cookie: rinse and repeat:rant:
Edaine 10-01-06, 11:41 PM	11: claim that you are me you will be attacked 18 times within 5 minutes, and dead in the hour 12:i dont feel like giving 12 okay?, gosh your freaking annoying!:tantrum: 13:every time you see someone who has left your vision for more than 2 seconds introduce yourself pretend you've never met and go into your utterly ridiculous unbelieveably epic world carviong back story which takes about 6 hours if you don't take time to breath between words:P 14: all you need is a stupid grin:dancin:
Darkxarth 10-02-06, 12:13 AM	15. Argue with a Dwarf, about anything.
Tarvok 10-02-06, 12:20 AM	It's by an Irish gentleman, whose name eludes me at the moment... :clap: :w00t:
Lord Gwydion 10-02-06, 12:21 AM	16. Roll Initiative
Silverthumb128 10-02-06, 01:06 AM	11: claim that you are me you will be attacked 18 times within 5 minutes, and dead in the hour 12:i dont feel like giving 12 okay?, gosh your freaking annoying!:tantrum: 13:every time you see someone who has left your vision for more than 2 seconds introduce yourself pretend you've never met and go into your utterly ridiculous unbelieveably epic world carviong back story which takes about 6 hours if you don't take time to breath between words:P 14: all you need is a stupid grin:dancin: 16. Not posting them all at the same time, or using the EDIT BUTTON to add on afterthoughts.
rG_Shadowmage 10-02-06, 01:15 AM	Randomly pick pocket anyone in your group... I always liked doing that. :D
SageBahamut 10-02-06, 01:19 AM	17: Cast "continual flame" on the halfling. 18: Steal the wizard's spellbook and hide it. Extra points if you convincingly hide it on the barbarian. 19: Grease the fighter's sword handle. Make sure it looks as much as possible like the grease produced by the wizard's Grease spell. 20: Paint the Druid's animal companion. 20a: Sell the Druid's animal companion. 20b: Get a scroll and Awaken the Druid's animal companion while he's sleeping, then watch his reaction when his raccoon offers him Earl Grey tea by name the next morning. 21: Wait till the elf is deep in trance, then pierce his ears. 22: Braid the dwarf's beard while he's asleep. 22a: Braid all of the dwarf's hair while he's asleep. 22b: Shave all of the dwarf's hair while he's asleep. Extra points if you convincingly frame the glowing halfling. 23: Replace the ranger's arrows with trick ones that, when nocked and released, instead of firing unroll into a scroll that reads "swish-thunk". :D 24: Insult the dwarf. 24a: Insult the dwarf's father. 24b: Insult the elf's father. (He's still alive so he'll beat you up himself.) 25: Lick your knives clean after every fight. 25a: Do it where the paladin can see.
Darkxarth 10-02-06, 01:52 AM	17: Cast "continual flame" on the halfling. 18: Steal the wizard's spellbook and hide it. Extra points if you convincingly hide it on the barbarian. 19: Grease the fighter's sword handle. Make sure it looks as much as possible like the grease produced by the wizard's Grease spell. 20: Paint the Druid's animal companion. 20a: Sell the Druid's animal companion. 20b: Get a scroll and Awaken the Druid's animal companion while he's sleeping, then watch his reaction when his raccoon offers him Earl Grey tea by name the next morning. 21: Wait till the elf is deep in trance, then pierce his ears. 22: Braid the dwarf's beard while he's asleep. 22a: Braid all of the dwarf's hair while he's asleep. 22b: Shave all of the dwarf's hair while he's asleep. Extra points if you convincingly frame the glowing halfling. 23: Replace the ranger's arrows with trick ones that, when nocked and released, instead of firing unroll into a scroll that reads "swish-thunk". :D 24: Insult the dwarf. 24a: Insult the dwarf's father. 24b: Insult the elf's father. (He's still alive so he'll beat you up himself.) 25: Lick your knives clean after every fight. 25a: Do it where the paladin can see. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :heehee Whew, nice... I wish I had something else to add to that, but I don't...:(
rivaltuna 10-02-06, 02:18 AM	26. Go to any D&D convention and scream out "DRIZZT IS A PANSY!!!"
otakutaylor 10-02-06, 02:30 AM	27. Punch the BBEG before he finishes his monolouge. 28. Throw a punch, at anyone, doesn't matter. The DM will punish you by making whoever you punch a your level+6 th level fighter. 29. Steal, plot to steal, think of stealing, look like you might steal, refrence a movie where someone steals, the dwarfs ale. 30. Touch, plot to touch, think of touching, look like you might touch, reference a movie where someone touches, the elves ears. 31. 29 or 30, but towards the stuff the rogue already stole from the party. 32. Say you've got nothing to do while traveling. A random encounter becomes much less random when you've nothing to do. 33. Insult anything that can shapeshift. you've got a 90% change you're talking to it.
ORC_Paradox 10-02-06, 02:47 AM	Overheard in a tavern in Waterdeep moments before The Massacre of 1377, "I really wish I was in Khorvaire."
Alcari Ambaron 10-02-06, 03:18 AM	35 - start any discussion with a person by decapitating the guy next to him. 36 - question the race of someone's mother, infer that her skin may probably have been green or brown and scaly 37 - question the elfs ability to wield that big sword of his, with his spindly little arms.
anki 10-02-06, 03:40 AM	38.Go into a tavern and Dominate the waiter to get what that big half-orc is having. 39.Draw your weapon and wave it infront of the king. 40.Draw the halfling and wave him infront of the kings jewels. 41.Get drunk...:D 42.Get drunk by drinking all of the dwarfs ale.
Giant Turtle 10-02-06, 03:40 AM	26. Go to any D&D convention and scream out "DRIZZT IS A PANSY!!!" but... Drizz't IS a pansy! 38a - Make a Wand of Minor Image and give it to the rogue 38b - Create a minor image of the Paladin's opposing diety over all his holy symbols 38c - Convince the paladin that the rogue did it
Slightly_Unscrewed 10-02-06, 07:09 PM	43: Punch somebody
molten_dragon 10-02-06, 07:27 PM	44. Tell the wizard that that stupid bird hanging around with him tasted terrible. 45. Continually ask stupid questions about the cleric's faith (but how can pelor be the god of the sun AND the god of healing, the sun can't heal you, it'll just give you sunburn)
flipoflak92 10-02-06, 07:41 PM	im going to use so many of these in the next upcoming campaign.. especially the punching ones, and the decapitating one, and the familiar one
flipoflak92 10-02-06, 07:48 PM	46. take the king hostage in the next capitol city 47. steal the wizards spell book, and rip it up, then blame it on either the gnome, or his familiar 48. tie up the rest of the party, and leave them in the middle of the woods, and come back for them one day later 48a. and threaten to cut off their head ( perform a coupe de grace (spelling)) 49. when the party gets into an encounter, just completely ignore it [the encounter] and wait for the others to stop fighting
Fireclave 10-02-06, 08:18 PM	50. Find the seediest, most rundown bar in town. Bust through the door and make a scene as you walk in. With a smug look on your face, slowly walk up the the biggest, baddest, baldest, most tatooed half-orc in the joint. Stare defiantly into his eyes for a few seconds to build dramatic tension. Sneer and then let roll off your lips: Yo Mama...
desean101 10-02-06, 08:36 PM	51. Collect Horse tax from the half-gaint barbarian tribe 52. Give the dragon an enema 53. Pee on the citadel of Grumish's wall 54. Make constant threat to kill the sorcerers familiar 55. Attack a Bald barbarian in the Bar with 2 of your friends to find out later he is part of your church
desean101 10-02-06, 08:49 PM	51. Collect Horse tax from the half-gaint barbarian tribe 52. Give the dragon an enema 53. Pee on the citadel of Grumish's wall 54. Make constant threat to kill the sorcerers familiar 55. Attack a Bald barbarian in the Bar with 2 of your friends to find out later he is part of your church the party cleric of pelor, Gynorm (Me) ,Collected horse tax from an elderly old man in front of the city guard while the town was being attacked by the leviathan.
eca 10-02-06, 08:52 PM	56. Grab the bard's instrument during an encounter and start fighting with it. 57. After the party defeats the BBEG of your campaign, raise him from the dead as an undead slave and make him your "pet". (If you can, do it secretly) 58. After the party starts sleeping, have your new "pet" snuggle up right next to the party member you want to fight. Imagin waking up next to that after a hard night of drinking and partying over your recent victory, only to find your recently defeated enemy in your bed...
steamboat28 10-02-06, 08:55 PM	50. Find the seediest, most rundown bar in town. Bust through the door and make a scene as you walk in. With a smug look on your face, slowly walk up the the biggest, baddest, baldest, most tatooed half-orc in the joint. Stare defiantly into his eyes for a few seconds to build dramatic tension. Sneer and then let roll off your lips: Yo Mama... Y'know, in my experience, you could stop after the word "town" in the first sentence. That's all it ever takes for a fight to start in the campaigns I play in. lol
Fireclave 10-02-06, 08:56 PM	the party cleric of pelor, Gynorm (Me) ,Collected horse tax from an elderly old man in front of the city guard while the town was being attacked by the leviathan. And by "collect" he means "knocked the man out with the blunt side of his halberd and stole" and by "horse tax" he means "the poor old man's only transportation to safety as the town was being destroyed" :nonono:
desean101 10-02-06, 08:58 PM	56. Go buy an untrained lion from the blackmarket and walk it up the sorcerers familiar with a big grin 57.Tell the party cleric his god never existed and he is a failure at life 58. call the Wizard retarded 59. Spray paint the wizards familiar while they are sleep 60. Deep fry the Familiar and then lay it next to the parties barbarian 61. Give the wizard a piece of his familiar
Pandaemoni 10-02-06, 08:59 PM	50. Find the seediest, most rundown bar in town. Bust through the door and make a scene as you walk in. With a smug look on your face, slowly walk up the the biggest, baddest, baldest, most tatooed half-orc in the joint. Stare defiantly into his eyes for a few seconds to build dramatic tension. Sneer and then let roll off your lips: Yo Mama... You need to keep max ranks in Perform (Yo Mama Jokes)
desean101 10-02-06, 09:19 PM	And by "collect" he means "knocked the man out with the blunt side of his halberd and stole" and by "horse tax" he means "the poor old man's only transportation to safety as the town was being destroyed" :nonono: yeah its true i went to court with fireclave as my lawyer. got off buy only paying 1000 gold. though the horse later was Eaten by a Big ass Giant sloth. Good bye fair Seabiscuit ...... I knew thee well.... :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:
speeblefreak 10-02-06, 09:36 PM	62. Recreate the Farador video on the Simbul. 63. Put a paladin and a CN Binder in the same party. 64. Graft the dwarf's beard to the elf. 65. Graft the dwarf to the elf. 66. Say to the barb, "Execute Order..." (works best with metagamers)
Stardrake 10-02-06, 10:00 PM	67. Use the idol in the center of the Barbarian village as an outhouse. 68. Then complain about the lack of T.P..... Oh, and by the way, do you have ETHEL THE AARD-VARK GOES QUANTITY SURVEYING?
cog_and_taz 10-03-06, 08:33 AM	but... Drizz't IS a pansy! HE.IS.NOT!!!!!!drizzt is as mighty and fearless as a kobold!
CharlieRock 10-03-06, 10:31 AM	Buy a 20lb. bag of flour, cut the top off, whirl it around in a crowded tavern. Next day, tell your party you are off to buy a 20lb. bag of flour :)
tsunehiko 10-03-06, 02:38 PM	70. Kill and raise as a skeleton your paladin�s cohort - then say to the paladin he was too fat and show his cohort after a diet :) 71. Cast stone wall every day, to block the mayor�s door. 72. Steal the cleric�s holy simbol, then hide it in the halfling stuff. If everything goes wrong, blame the barbarian. 73. Sabote the barbarians great axe, making it�s blade goes loose. Then blame the halfling.
Hell_Bane 10-03-06, 03:50 PM	-Tell the king that her daughter, who your party just rescued, is alone with the group's Bard at the moment, she wanting to thank him and everything. -Tell a female centaur her behind is as big as a horse's. -Try to sell magic lenses to a beholder. -As the party's Rogue, tell everyone that the way is clear, especially when it's actually rigged with a deadly trap. Repeat as needed. -Try to sell this year's fashionable and colorful (pink, yellow, light blue) clothes to the dark vampire lord who lives secluded in his castle. -Try to sell a magnificent table set, along with the silverware, to the town's werewolf. -Ask the party's elf if it's true that male elves aren't as... well-endowed as male humans. -Your party finds itself in Ravenloft, and you decide to go see what's on the other side of the thick mist over there... -Send the daltonian (as in "can't differentiate some colors") member of your party to strike a deal with the nearby dragon, assuring him that he is of good alignment. Too bad he's daltonian and can't really see the color of the scales uh?
Hell_Bane 10-03-06, 03:53 PM	-You're the party's Psychic (check Green Ronin publishing's Psychic's Handbook) and you hypnotize the party's Wizard into thinking he's a Barbarian, giving him an axe and letting him charge into the melee.