Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Dire Sabbath 08-01-05, 08:10 PM	I can't help but want to share this with people who actually get most of the jokes. There is only so much IT people who don't actually play DnD can appriecate. I'm sure most of you will know the movie I created this parady from. A work collegue recently took a light hearted jibe at me about my generally lazyness in replying to emails and a recent internet purchase I felt compelled to generate the following... Original jibe - "Wow, the rogue does speak on emails. Watch out fellas, he does it from behind." My response - You're :censored: damn right I do! http://www.thinkgeek.com/pennyarcade/swag/72ef/ Son, we live in a world that has encounters, and those encounters have to be min/maxed by men who are munchkins. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Elaine Cunningham? Elven-chain in a bottle!?! A barbarian with a puffy shirt who tracks Drow through the underdark by the sound of their footsteps!?! Rules aren't something you could possibly fathom. You weep for Dungeon Master's, and you curse the munchkins. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That being a munchkin, while tragic, probably saved lives. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at gaming stores, you want me in that encounter, you need me in that encounter. We use phrases like "Move to flank!", "5 foot step you fool!, and "So... he's flat footed right?". We use these phrases as the backbone of a life spent calculating tactical advantages. You use them as an after thought. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who gains xp and treasure while using the very modifiers and synergy bonuses that I provide, then questions the Power Gaming in which I provide them. I would rather you just said thank you, and memorised your spells. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a rulebook, and make a new character. Either way, I don't give a damn about your LARP'ing, your so called "Non combat orientated game".
spoogemonkey 08-03-05, 03:01 PM	Jack N in a Few Good Men... cleverly done... maybe "the Ring of Protection" that I provide ...
Sinaz 08-03-05, 04:07 PM	MWUHAHAHAAAAAAAAA :clap:
Dire Sabbath 08-17-05, 02:53 AM	Ahh ring of protection... good one. Reading it again now it's a bit sloppy jumping from IC to OOC. And the munchkin phrases are a little lacking... but trying to put a munchkin action into a short sentence is rather difficult. I'm glad some other people could find some amusement in it and it wasnt just me.
Darkblade40001 08-17-05, 11:55 PM	yeah, well, if rogues do it from behind, then monks do it with their hands.
High Octane 08-18-05, 12:48 AM	Druids... do it in the woods Clerics.... do it religiously Bards.... use a flute (This one time, at bard camp...) Barbarians.... do it while screaming Paladins.... do it on horseback Rangers.... do it with their favorites Sorcerers.... do it spontaneously Wizards: Abjurers..... use protection Conjurers.... do it out of thin air Diviners.... see it coming Illusionists.... fake it Necromancers.... do it with the dead Summoners.... bring a friend Assassins..... do it in 18 seconds Arcane Tricksters.... do it from 30 feet away Loremasters.... read about it Mystic Theurges.... do it both ways Ninjas.... do it in the shadows Scouts... do it before you get there Blighters.... do it til it wilts Evangelists.... do it with their mouths Vigilantes... do it without permission Dread Pirates.... do it on the water Exemplars..... do it the best Streetfighters... do it on the streets more later.