A sad tale... [Archive] - Wizards Community

A sad tale... [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Mr_Punod
02-15-04, 02:21 AM Do you guys ever get to the point where it's so late at night that you become completely slap-happy and decide to screw the quest and have some vulgar fun? Well, listen to this pathetic story:

It was a quest like any other. A monster was apparently terrorizing a village and was hiding in the sewers. We had two wizards in the party; myself and "Lenny". Lenny got the notion that he harbored the most power in the group and decided to cast "Charm Person" on me, hoping to make me his personal one hour slave.

Luckily, I managed to make a will save. Then Lenny taunted me claiming that I had no evidence against him. To his dismay, I passed a Spellcraft check and discovered his plot! All the time the Dungeonmaster, "Cuthbert", watched in disgust.

In retaliation, I decided to utilize "Presdigitation" in order to exact my revenge. In elaboration, I soiled the hair of Lenny's character, "Harbrook", in excrement. Harbrook made a quick counterattack by taking a huge chunk of the pungent poo from the sprouts of his follicles and flung with all his wizardly might. The feces flew past my character straight into a wall.

Not to be outdone, Harbrook quickly prepared a "Presdigitation" spell of his own. Whilst my character, "Thnikka", was having a jovial time, he soon discovered his own guffawing mouth to be filled with excrement itself. Then we both decided to rest and prepare three more "Pres" spells.

As the duel was about to continue, our DM stormed out in a fit of rage, which of course was understandable. But what the hey, as long as we were having fun, right?
Kaya Kenobi
02-15-04, 04:27 AM ewwww...
Capn Charlie
02-15-04, 04:34 AM Wow, this guy has a weak stomach. I managed to stay in the room when a kobold sorcerer and a human did things to a decapitated hag. I even remained stoic and adjucated the use of shock attacks to induce movement.

I have a strong stomach, but I only had enough when they started doing the truly disturbing stuff, I mean drinking hot tea? That is just disgusting...
Kaya Kenobi
02-15-04, 04:46 AM Originally posted by Capn Charlie
Wow, this guy has a weak stomach. I managed to stay in the room when a kobold sorcerer and a human did things to a decapitated hag. I even remained stoic and adjucated the use of shock attacks to induce movement.

I have a strong stomach, but I only had enough when they started doing the truly disturbing stuff, I mean drinking hot tea? That is just disgusting...

I'd gross you out if I drank a glass of hot chai tea?
q'afuu
02-15-04, 05:07 AM What's really sad is being subjected to this kind of pointless posts.
Capn Charlie
02-15-04, 05:32 AM Originally posted by Kaya Kenobi
I'd gross you out if I drank a glass of hot chai tea?

Chai? Is that some off brand lipton?

Nah, it is just the standard tea hot that bothers me. Truth be told I'm more of a coffee man myself. Hot coffee with enough sugar to be like syrup. Or just skip that and go straight for the real syrup. You know, Dr. Pepper...
Kaya Kenobi
02-15-04, 05:34 AM Originally posted by Capn Charlie
Chai? Is that some off brand lipton?

Nah, it is just the standard tea hot that bothers me. Truth be told I'm more of a coffee man myself. Hot coffee with enough sugar to be like syrup. Or just skip that and go straight for the real syrup. You know, Dr. Pepper...

Chai tea is Japanese, I think... It's an herbal tea. It's a writer's tea... Good stuff, and expensive... Best place to get it is at Starbucks..
Capn Charlie
02-15-04, 07:22 AM Originally posted by Capn Charlie
Chai? Is that some off brand lipton?

/sarcasm

I just don't really care for herbal teas. They smell nice, but I prefer savory tastes.

I like spicy food, garlic is used liberally in my cooking. I find a good cup of thick broth to be far more relaxing than most other drinks(I am particularly fond of a nice eggdrop soup). And a good, heavy, cheesy slice of supreme is much more conducive to my thoughts than a biscotti. I favor hearty, rich fare above the airier dainties.

You should try my braised venison steak with roasted baby potatoes and stuffed mushrooms with onions and bell peppers. I make a mean chili too.

I consider (much like how the samurai thought of flower arranging) that making a good sandwich is a martial art. A dozen components, put together in a unique way, with artistic appeal as well, is a skill I prize.

No true individualist can condemn cooking. If they do, then they starve. That at least is my motto.

Best place to get it is at Starbucks..

There is no starbucks in my state to my knowledge. If there is, it might be in the capitol, but I doubt it. I import good beans and brew my own.
porygandrew
02-15-04, 01:48 PM Originally posted by Kaya Kenobi
Best place to get it is at Starbucks..

**throws up**

The Little Coffee Shop of Horrors >_<*** now THAT'S gross
Gwyndalia
02-15-04, 01:57 PM Okay this isn't neccessarily a gross story...but it is pretty sad...

So first campaign everyone makes alliances and all that...but most of the players hate each other...well our charcters didn't even know each other, but somehow we managed to drag the out of game hate into the game...okay hate is too strong of a word, it was more like the need to really make each other mad...I won't go into to too much detail, but basically by the end of the second session the party had deplaited itself, one charcter had died twice, everyone else died save three of us, out of the three left, one of us went insane from a magic object, one of our souls was trapped in a magic jar while our body got possessed by one of the dead charcters, and only one of us was left in decent health. The DM laughed at us after he was done being frustrated and said, "I don't even need to send monsters after your party you have enough battles amoungst yourselves to compensate."

BTW right after that we had to fight a half-dragon...

There aren't enough tears...
WizO_Pony
02-16-04, 11:02 PM Keep this to tales of D&D or I'll have to haul it over to The Rec Room.

Thanks.
RhoxandRoll
02-17-04, 03:29 PM 'Tis pathetic when two characters in game fight over sometihng out of game. It happened to me, after rolling up my new gnomish character 'Primus the Druid' (it was a slightly silly game). This other character threw me into the fire-wall for something I said out of game (she "had a problem with my sarcasm"...:rolleyes: ).

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Mr_Punod 02-15-04, 02:21 AM	Do you guys ever get to the point where it's so late at night that you become completely slap-happy and decide to screw the quest and have some vulgar fun? Well, listen to this pathetic story: It was a quest like any other. A monster was apparently terrorizing a village and was hiding in the sewers. We had two wizards in the party; myself and "Lenny". Lenny got the notion that he harbored the most power in the group and decided to cast "Charm Person" on me, hoping to make me his personal one hour slave. Luckily, I managed to make a will save. Then Lenny taunted me claiming that I had no evidence against him. To his dismay, I passed a Spellcraft check and discovered his plot! All the time the Dungeonmaster, "Cuthbert", watched in disgust. In retaliation, I decided to utilize "Presdigitation" in order to exact my revenge. In elaboration, I soiled the hair of Lenny's character, "Harbrook", in excrement. Harbrook made a quick counterattack by taking a huge chunk of the pungent poo from the sprouts of his follicles and flung with all his wizardly might. The feces flew past my character straight into a wall. Not to be outdone, Harbrook quickly prepared a "Presdigitation" spell of his own. Whilst my character, "Thnikka", was having a jovial time, he soon discovered his own guffawing mouth to be filled with excrement itself. Then we both decided to rest and prepare three more "Pres" spells. As the duel was about to continue, our DM stormed out in a fit of rage, which of course was understandable. But what the hey, as long as we were having fun, right?
Kaya Kenobi 02-15-04, 04:27 AM	ewwww...
Capn Charlie 02-15-04, 04:34 AM	Wow, this guy has a weak stomach. I managed to stay in the room when a kobold sorcerer and a human did things to a decapitated hag. I even remained stoic and adjucated the use of shock attacks to induce movement. I have a strong stomach, but I only had enough when they started doing the truly disturbing stuff, I mean drinking hot tea? That is just disgusting...
Kaya Kenobi 02-15-04, 04:46 AM	Originally posted by Capn Charlie Wow, this guy has a weak stomach. I managed to stay in the room when a kobold sorcerer and a human did things to a decapitated hag. I even remained stoic and adjucated the use of shock attacks to induce movement. I have a strong stomach, but I only had enough when they started doing the truly disturbing stuff, I mean drinking hot tea? That is just disgusting... I'd gross you out if I drank a glass of hot chai tea?
q'afuu 02-15-04, 05:07 AM	What's really sad is being subjected to this kind of pointless posts.
Capn Charlie 02-15-04, 05:32 AM	Originally posted by Kaya Kenobi I'd gross you out if I drank a glass of hot chai tea? Chai? Is that some off brand lipton? Nah, it is just the standard tea hot that bothers me. Truth be told I'm more of a coffee man myself. Hot coffee with enough sugar to be like syrup. Or just skip that and go straight for the real syrup. You know, Dr. Pepper...
Kaya Kenobi 02-15-04, 05:34 AM	Originally posted by Capn Charlie Chai? Is that some off brand lipton? Nah, it is just the standard tea hot that bothers me. Truth be told I'm more of a coffee man myself. Hot coffee with enough sugar to be like syrup. Or just skip that and go straight for the real syrup. You know, Dr. Pepper... Chai tea is Japanese, I think... It's an herbal tea. It's a writer's tea... Good stuff, and expensive... Best place to get it is at Starbucks..
Capn Charlie 02-15-04, 07:22 AM	Originally posted by Capn Charlie Chai? Is that some off brand lipton? /sarcasm I just don't really care for herbal teas. They smell nice, but I prefer savory tastes. I like spicy food, garlic is used liberally in my cooking. I find a good cup of thick broth to be far more relaxing than most other drinks(I am particularly fond of a nice eggdrop soup). And a good, heavy, cheesy slice of supreme is much more conducive to my thoughts than a biscotti. I favor hearty, rich fare above the airier dainties. You should try my braised venison steak with roasted baby potatoes and stuffed mushrooms with onions and bell peppers. I make a mean chili too. I consider (much like how the samurai thought of flower arranging) that making a good sandwich is a martial art. A dozen components, put together in a unique way, with artistic appeal as well, is a skill I prize. No true individualist can condemn cooking. If they do, then they starve. That at least is my motto. Best place to get it is at Starbucks.. There is no starbucks in my state to my knowledge. If there is, it might be in the capitol, but I doubt it. I import good beans and brew my own.
porygandrew 02-15-04, 01:48 PM	Originally posted by Kaya Kenobi Best place to get it is at Starbucks.. throws up The Little Coffee Shop of Horrors >_<*** now THAT'S gross
Gwyndalia 02-15-04, 01:57 PM	Okay this isn't neccessarily a gross story...but it is pretty sad... So first campaign everyone makes alliances and all that...but most of the players hate each other...well our charcters didn't even know each other, but somehow we managed to drag the out of game hate into the game...okay hate is too strong of a word, it was more like the need to really make each other mad...I won't go into to too much detail, but basically by the end of the second session the party had deplaited itself, one charcter had died twice, everyone else died save three of us, out of the three left, one of us went insane from a magic object, one of our souls was trapped in a magic jar while our body got possessed by one of the dead charcters, and only one of us was left in decent health. The DM laughed at us after he was done being frustrated and said, "I don't even need to send monsters after your party you have enough battles amoungst yourselves to compensate." BTW right after that we had to fight a half-dragon... There aren't enough tears...
WizO_Pony 02-16-04, 11:02 PM	Keep this to tales of D&D or I'll have to haul it over to The Rec Room. Thanks.
RhoxandRoll 02-17-04, 03:29 PM	'Tis pathetic when two characters in game fight over sometihng out of game. It happened to me, after rolling up my new gnomish character 'Primus the Druid' (it was a slightly silly game). This other character threw me into the fire-wall for something I said out of game (she "had a problem with my sarcasm"...:rolleyes: ).