Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Ratheus 09-04-04, 11:50 PM	Well my friends, with the phasing out of the DMG section of the forums, the "New 1001 ways to drive your players insane" has been lost to us. Time to begin again, so here we go. :D 1. Crisco golems 2. The great red wyrm is not a dragon, but a 50 lb strawberry gummy worm 3. Introduction of the singing sword from 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' 4. New magic item: Mr. Bubbles wand of prismatic bubbles 5. BBEG creates fast food franchises, such as "McGoblins, Kentucky Fried Corpses, Orcway, Harpy's Star, Bugbear King, and Tiefling Bell" 6. Every five minutes, jump up from game table and sing a song 7. Make clerics beg for spells 8. New race: Quarterlings 9. DM's new best friend: Helium tank 10. Arrows of slow motion (players think they slow the enemy, but arrows travel at 10 ft / round) Chaaarge!
Vulcan 09-05-04, 01:58 AM	11)An intelligent clay golem npc called Mr. Bill, and he gets into all sorts of trouble when the players meet him. 12)Canadians :D 13)Roll to see if you cough. 14)Richard Simmons constantly follows the party where ever they go. And he's invincible. 15)Ask the player quite seriously about what it is that truely annoys them to the point of making them cry and doing it to them in the game. :schemes:
Blackrazorblade 09-05-04, 10:04 AM	16: reward all but one PC wiht insane treasure(artifacts, epic items) but always leave one out and when u give him anything good have it stolen or break etc. 17: all items with charges have one charge left whena PC gets it 18:Gollum replaces golem... at least in name 19: Have an unkillable annoying NPC follow them around and betreay them (mine was a dwarf who was ugly, ran around naked and could teleport w/o error whenever i wanted him to) 20: every session have epic characters teleport the PCs in and give them a quest, do this multiple times and make it impossable to ever finish a quest 21:find out if the any of the players hate an iconic character such as Drizzt and always have that character or an obvious clone appear to aid them, be useless always barely survive, and fall in love with that players character. 22: ALL NPCs have similar accents, names, and apperences 23: all the kobolds in the kobold mine are half-dragon sorcerors or ftrs 24: all BBEG fighter types can sunder as a free action every round 25: Paragon half-celestial dire badgers 26:the above badgers all go "badger badger badger" constantly, this makes spell casting impossable, play this site in the background : www.badgerbadgerbadger.com 27: give high level characters low level quests 28: if there is a paladin make the PCs work with an assassin in order to complete the quest, make him 5-10 lvls higher then the PCs 29: award ad hoc xp instead of based on encounter lvl, so the PCs are always one level lower then the one they need to gain a PrC one of them wants badly 30:make them all some obscure subrace with high lvl adjustment, except one who has to be a human for plot reasons, so he is always 5 or so lvls higher then the rest 31: all intelligent items are possed by a demon or a devil and sometimes both :D 32: have the PCs meet a balor at low lvls who is depressed and banished from the aybss and doesn't want to be evil and looks to the PCs for guidence 33: when the kill the dragon have various family members claim the treasure they find saying "it was my husbands, wifes, brothers, sons,etc." have a cleric of the PCs god make them give it up, leave witha few unclaimed items....none magical 34: steal your plot lines from books the PCs have read/ movies they've seen and don't change names or anything until they start to meta game, then make it totaly random and make it up on the spot
MarkB 09-05-04, 10:59 AM	8. New race: Quarterlings My DM's campaign world had a country which contained a variety of crossbreeds between orcs, goblins and halflings, all living in relative harmony. He was going to add a halfling-gnome crossbreed until he asked us to suggest an appropriate name for them. After my suggestion, he abandoned the idea - he's a little over-sensitive when it comes to puns. Personally, I don't see what's so wrong with calling them Gnobbits.
Fi'Irdray 09-05-04, 02:48 PM	35. Make the DCs to disable traps 1 higher than the Rogue's max possible 36. Heavy stone door, held in place by an immovable rod on the other side 37. Put the Half-Orc barbarian in as many diplomatic situations as possible, while the Rogue, Paladin, Cleric, and Sorcerer (who's out of spells for the day) get in a bar-room brawl.
Blackrazorblade 09-05-04, 05:23 PM	38: make so the trap is only there if the PCs don't search for traps 39: poison the food at inns 40: if they go to brothels, well get em pregnant or give STDs or both....even if the character is male
Starsword 09-05-04, 07:45 PM	41: A full out guild war between the Colnel's Army (KFC) and the McMafia (McDonlald's) 42: Force your players to call you "My Lord" every time they address you, or hit them with lightning 43: Have them fight a Genie, and then when they're just about to win, make the Genie "Wish" them dead. 44: Make the entire world a wild magic area, and make every spell instead summon a "dire shark" (dire shark summoning actually happened once in a game I was in, it was hilarious to watch the thing flop around on the dungeon floor)
Blackrazorblade 09-05-04, 08:51 PM	45:have a freak accident cause ALL halfings and gnomes become huge or large permenently, have them get vengence for being made fun of for being short (You sure look like that guy who made a halfling crack, but all u smallies look alike) 46: paragon, max HD rust monsters 47: paragon max HD annihlators 48: make a really long boring expositon to your plot the PCs have to hear and tell them vital clues are hidden in it, but don't put the clues in after all 49: say that there is a small round hole in the wall and when the PCs investigate tell them they see a glimmer of gold, half the time they will think a gold peice is stuck and try to get it out (my epic PCs did this EPIC) half an hour later they give up later the gold dragon is ticked cause they were poking it in its sleep through its peephole :D
Ratheus 09-05-04, 11:45 PM	50. Bars serve fiendish ale 51. Insist that one of the character's name is pronounced differently than the player says 52. Musical chairs every combat round 53. New spell: Leomund's luxury outhouse 54. New weapon: The spork 55. BBEG is that irritating Chris Tucker guy 56. The campaign is in the land of Xanth (Piers Anthony novels) 57. BBEG with a ring of three wishes 58. Any dice that stray from the player's area is yours 59. Background soundtrack taken from recordings of super mario world 60. NPC bard with musical armpit 61. Switch entire campaign to oriental adventures without telling players 62. Everytime the PCs return to town, they have to learn new slang and lingo so they don't sound so outdated and dorky 63. Booger golems 64. Wizard with a housefly familiar 65. While travelling, PCs get hit by rally cars
Blackrazorblade 09-06-04, 10:17 AM	66: everyone else in the land is epic but is lazy and makes the PCs do everything quest wise
Piff 09-06-04, 10:10 PM	67: When the players finnish 1 sidequest 2 more sudenly apear. 68: Just when the player is about to defeat his rival he does something and dissapears making them having to go kill them agian. 68: Just when the character is about to finnish the quest someone beats him to it.
Tobbebbot 09-07-04, 06:53 AM	69) If you can't build a dice totem of at least 10 D10's, you die! 70)Have a naked gnome run around the party, while doing the helicopter.
Seradec 09-07-04, 07:09 AM	71. Every few minutes slam your fist against the table as hard as you can , making the players jump at unexpected or tense moments. 72. Take a bottle of water into the game with you and take 4 sips every time you are about to talk. 73. Have Captain muffy the gingerbread covered brick as the PC's sworn enemy. 74. At the end of a huge battle that the PC'S where successful in, say 'and then you woke up' 75. Make every single creature the PC's come across a naked kobold.
MarkB 09-07-04, 09:32 AM	76. Hair Golems. 77. Mad wizards wielding hot wax strips attacking the players to harvest the materials for Hair Golems. 78. Tooth Golems. 79. Mad wizards wielding pliers...
JabberWocky 09-07-04, 11:00 AM	80. Boots of Mario Striding and Springing: Every other round, the player's speed is doubled, but in between his speed is halved, as these cursed boots force him to walk in step with one of the many 8-Bit Mario Brothers themes. Whenever the player jumps, it makes an annoying "boing" sound.
Bacon and Eggs 09-07-04, 01:01 PM	81. A tribe of 1337-speaking lizardmen.
Blackrazorblade 09-07-04, 03:22 PM	82: take everything as IC talk and what theya re doing ( ie: PC: pass me a d20 DM: the minotaur looksat u funny then smashes u with his club) 83: make the BBEG Lord of the Sunder and his amazing rust monsters companions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gemstone 09-07-04, 05:16 PM	84. Call the BBEG Lord Plunder, and let him have such a rediculus Slight of hand and diplomacy modifier that before the battle, he convinces the players to leave all their items outside it, and all their NPC helpers to stay outside ^^
Phist 09-07-04, 06:10 PM	85. Multiple, incompadible geas spells 86. Have an inescapeable net of side quests all leading to each other until they've forgotten what the original campaign was about 87. If your party is good, make sure that the only people with the information they need are evil 88. Make the ceilings in your dungeons too short for most of their characters
Ratheus 09-10-04, 01:12 AM	89. BBEG turns out to be mildy irritated, actually pretty cool guy who offers cold beer, apologies and handshakes. He's got good ideas, just a little misunderstood 90. A metal shortage turns rust monsters into "eats every single thing there is" monsters 91. New spell: Melf's rancid quiche (props to Phrennzy) 92: NPC who insists he is a PC, and that the PC is a doppleganger who stole all his equipment. 93. New enemy: Tapioca Puddings 94. The dungeon of absolutely no loot at all 95. New diety: God of proper oral hygiene. Clerics weilding giant toothbrushes and long strings of floss take towns by force, taking those with bad dental hygiene by force. 96. An adventure that involves a tiny ship on a three hour tour..... 97. Dire ticks 98. Werefleas 99. Enemies wielding advanced phaser rifles, the rifles disintigrate when the enemy dies 100. New magic item: Mace of nasty death. On every hit, it releases a stinking cloud. 101. Storyline follows "Lord of the String" 102: When a successful hit is scored, the player must describe the action well enough to the DM's approval to make sure it's still a hit. 103: Wand of magic missiles turns out to be wand of magic thistles 104: New race: d'orcs 105: Nymphs familiar: Spanish fly 106: Druid players must wear houseplants on their heads 107: New spell: Otto's irrestible sneeze 108: The cast of that Stargate show arrive in the realm, try to make things right and screw it all up. 109: New weapon: empty beer can (come on, I've got seven in front of me) 110: Another 891 great ideas
Thanqol 09-10-04, 03:39 AM	111: A NPC cleric tells them the only way to cure them of the deseise is to amputate their butt. 112: The new trap: A empty room with a door that locks itself behind the party! 113: Make a certain character be cursed with empathy for life. Whenever he sees something die, he must make a will save (DC Creature's CR/Level), or be sucked into death with them. 114: And make him serve in the army.
Ratheus 09-11-04, 04:37 PM	115. Starbux stores on every level of the dungeon. Caffine freak enemies are always hasted 116. Players get shrunk to 1/50th size and have to fight regular rats, which are now a great threat. Problem? Regular little rats aren't worth XP! 117. BBEG is Homer Simpson 118. Magical television is invented, evil just sits around watching MTV 119. Every single enemy carries a tanglefoot bag 120. Lots of useless junk, all with detailed descriptions to make them sound important 121. ...today's dungeon crawl was brought to you by the letter B... 122. Character gets a permanant stinking cloud cast on his face 123. XP rewards for whoever brings the tastiest beer to the DM 124. New PrC: Pillow fighter 125. PCs investigating ten 8-foot high, cylindrical objects, narrow in the center, slightly wider at the top but ending in a rounded tip. They are arranged in a triangle, four to each side. They have stripes towards the top. Suddenly, a giant's bowling ball comes through and wipes out the PCs and the pins. 126. New spell: Nicotine fit 127. Trap in a room at the local inn
Phist 09-11-04, 06:06 PM	128. Take recurring enemies to the extreme. No matter what the PCs do to the body the guy comes back. If they get the head of the Garrote to do it, the guy will have had a clone somewhere. 129. Have some seemingly powerful enemies that drop almost without a fight. Never explain why. 130. Fill pit traps with swarms, gelatonous cubes etc. 131. Have the trigger for the above trap in the very center, and make the pit big enough that it's impossible to jump to the side if you activate it. 132. Drop things that would normally be considered hints, but in this case leads to nothing. "the room is unnaturally quiet. You can almost hear your own hearts racing..."