Best quotes from the boards [Archive] - Wizards Community

Best quotes from the boards [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Rania
04-04-08, 11:39 AM We've all seen quotes that are just WIN on here, and a bunch of us have some in our sigs. Post your favourites.

ANYTHING is edible if you make the fort save.

Mialee less resembles a person who fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, but more one who climbed down carefully in a tight spiral, repeatedly headbutting every. single. branch. until it snapped off.

If you're using Cthulhu rules for the Necronomicon does that mean that when you put the book in the scanner that your PC has to make a Madness Save?

Now someone just needs to stat out an animated farmhouse and we'll be set.

Me: Wait...we have a flying city?
DM: Uhhh...yeah.
Me: :lightbulb I have an idea.
Other players: What?
Me: Trust me, guys this is gonna be great!
*fly city to nearest large metropolitan center, my character leans over the edge of the flying city*
Me: GIVE US A HUNDRED MILLION GOLD PIECES OR WE LAND THIS PUPPY!!:D

So, for the last time (and Mr. (can't say his name because his comics are forbidden topics) I'm looking at you), D&D does not lead to Satanism. Occasionally Olidammaraism or Pelorism, but not Satanism.

Asmodeus killed that guy a long time ago.

I suppose him having maxed ranks in 'Profession(Lawyer)' pretty much locks him into Evil, though.

But hey, if you can pull it off, you could worship your shoe and it would grant you divine powers.
I suggest giving it the Protection and Travel domains, and the favored weapon of Steel Toed Boot (a steel gauntlet in the form of a shoe). All hail the Almighty Shoe! Good knows it will win eventually, it just doesn't know when. Evil doubts that it can win; hence it turns to trickery and half-truths to try and force the issue. When Good tries to force the issue, it too will end up with only trickery and half-truths - which is how many paladins fall (they lose track of what Goodness means because part of Goodness is putting "faith" over "force").

Who does WotC have as their chief design and public relations officer, the Bursar? Only old "Mister Jelly is coming", Dried Frog pills would think of that.

His theories were physical laws, not legal laws - being Chaotic doesn't mean you ignore gravity say (unless you're also a sorcerer). And yes, a bunch of that stuff is also in my sig.
_Jayne_Cobb_
04-04-08, 11:44 AM "If Wizards of the Coast put out a box full of free money there'd be people who'd come to the forums to complain about how its folded."
Rania
04-04-08, 11:46 AM "If Wizards of the Coast put out a box full of free money there'd be people who'd come to the forums to complain about how its folded."LOL. Do you know where it's from? I like being able to reference stuff too.
_Jayne_Cobb_
04-04-08, 11:54 AM LOL. Do you know where it's from? I like being able to reference stuff too.

It is from "Sulaco" :( circa '03 (maybe '04) in reference to the incessant complaining on these forums about, well, everything Wizards does.
wizard of Newfoundland
04-04-08, 09:30 PM I can remember the gist of 2 quotes, but they might not be word for word so if someone knows the exact phrase then feel free to correct me. Since i can't find the exact quotes i also don't know who said them

"A good rogue takes everything of value
A great rogue takes everything not nailed down
A master rogue takes the nails"

"Imaginative players think outside the box, people on the char opt boards find a way to turn the box into a nuclear weapon and blow up Tiamat with it"
wraithstrike
04-04-08, 10:48 PM Originally Posted by Bulletproof Condom
Since powerful build and Monkey Grip both reference your actual size without changing it, they can't stack. It's like having two step ladders that let you reach ten feet up; you can stand on both of them if you want, but it isn't going to let you reach any higher
wraithstrike
04-04-08, 10:52 PM Taken from another thread with quotes according to class
I wish I could find it, but here is one of them, paraphrased I think.

Sorceror:The wizard studies for his magic, the cleric begs for his, me, I am magic
I think it was on the old thread before gleemax

I am trying to find the thread but google cant even find it.
Grod_The_Giant
04-04-08, 10:59 PM I like the CO box one. Let's see, I used to have some in my sig, but I seem to have lost them...
"do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and will taste good with ketchup."
"Dude, [this thread] wasn't derailed. The tracks led to the edge of a cliff, no-one told the conductor, and it is now a smoking ruin at the bottom."

and, since someone has to say it, the ones in my sig, under "a little love"
GhostVampire
04-05-08, 01:21 AM Giant Demonic Rats - In any campaign run by a friend of mine, if a player can't show up (or sometimes just for grins) that player is abducted by Giant Demonic Rats that randomly leap into existance in our midsts and kidnap a PC.:eek: They are always returened at the end of the session bound, gagged, and dazed.;)

Needless to say, all of our players and charachters have a paralysing fear of giant rats.:D

DM:I'm sorry, but...Giant Rats!!!:cool:
Players:NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!:weep:

casts "raise Dead" on thread

One that we've kinda started recently is "Hello, Comrade!" Whenever a PC wants to find a magic item in town, I have him roll a Gather Info check to see if he can even find a place that might sell it. If the player rolls a critical 1, they find a guy with a cheesy Russian accent who greets them with "Hello, Comrade!" and who tries to swindle them with a sweetheart deal on the item -- only it turns out to be fake. I almost gulled a PC with it (even though the warning flags were up, the caution lamps were lit, the circus band was playing "Stars and Stripes Forever"...) by having him nearly trade his perfectly good magical longsword for a cheap non-magical sword studded with rhinestones and with a cockamamie story attached. The other players -- not the PCs -- were about to steel-chair him for being so dense.

The guy also pops up if the PC wants to find an item that I don't want to be just sold to them.

It originally started when a player in a 2e game wanted to buy a suit of Elven Chain, which I had already decided was something that the elves would resolutely forbid the open (or illicit) sale of -- in other words, it wasn't available to buy at any price. So the PC was poking around, when this merchant with the accent pops up, takes the PC to a warehouse and tries to sell him a suit of regular chain armor as Elven chain -- for 10,000 GP. The PC decided it was too rich for his blood and didn't bite.

Now, the players turn tail and run anytime they hear "Hello, Comrade!" :D

Operation: Grenade Open the door, the wizard throws a fireball through, and the fighters move in hurling knives at what's left as fast as possible. We used this when he knew there were 30 creatures on the other side of the door (coin of creature detection). The poor little guys (Okay, bugbears) were eating dinner, and then - BAM! Half of them are now crispy and dead, and the other half are crispy, half blind, wondering what the heck happened, and then get pegged with knives... :rofl:
Cowjuicer
04-05-08, 03:43 AM That reminds of something I use in my games---"Ching's High Quality Seafood!" Basically a not-politically-correct seafood merchant with a pseudo-Chinese accent, i.e. "You wahnt lahbstah? You wahnt shreemp? Five dahllah! Fiiiiiiiive dahlah! Fivedallah!"
aelryinth
04-05-08, 06:29 PM I doubt there is a finer quote on these entire boards then the one that started the entire CoDzilla movement on the CharOpt boards. You know a quote is gold when it gets referred to as a rule even in passing.

==+Aelryinth
Cowjuicer
04-05-08, 06:32 PM I doubt there is a finer quote on these entire boards then the one that started the entire CoDzilla movement on the CharOpt boards. You know a quote is gold when it gets referred to as a rule even in passing.

==+Aelryinth

Is it the one that goes "Just because class X is less powerful than class Y doesn't mean class X is unfit to be played" or something like that?
weezact7
04-05-08, 10:56 PM Ah, I had a post of quotes, then I reread the topic and realized they had to be from the boards, but I don't know how to delete it. So here's one which was in someone's sig. Unfortunately, I don't remember the guy's name well. I believe it was "Kelvinaw"...and some numbers.

"I have scaled the highest mountains and delved the deepest seas...drunk, in both cases. I have seen all Nine Hells and am bored with seven of them." -Finneas T. Goldshammer, The Greatest Adventurer Who Ever Lived.
Bedeverekm
04-06-08, 03:45 AM Is it the one that goes "Just because class X is less powerful than class Y doesn't mean class X is unfit to be played" or something like that?

I think it's the one that goes something like "The next time your DM complains that something out of a source book is broken, just play a basic Cleric or Druid, and make them so powerful, that random NPC's run out into the street, point into the sky and shout "Oh no! It's CoDzilla!""
kelvinaw273
04-06-08, 07:42 AM Ah, I had a post of quotes, then I reread the topic and realized they had to be from the boards, but I don't know how to delete it. So here's one which was in someone's sig. Unfortunately, I don't remember the guy's name well. I believe it was "Kelvinaw"...and some numbers.

"I have scaled the highest mountains and delved the deepest seas...drunk, in both cases. I have seen all Nine Hells and am bored with seven of them." -Finneas T. Goldshammer, The Greatest Adventurer Who Ever Lived.

Much though I would love to claim to be the source of said quote ... it wasn't me! Mine are in my sig, though ... only I didn't come up with the dragons one, just the one about the occult.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Rania 04-04-08, 11:39 AM	We've all seen quotes that are just WIN on here, and a bunch of us have some in our sigs. Post your favourites. ANYTHING is edible if you make the fort save. Mialee less resembles a person who fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, but more one who climbed down carefully in a tight spiral, repeatedly headbutting every. single. branch. until it snapped off. If you're using Cthulhu rules for the Necronomicon does that mean that when you put the book in the scanner that your PC has to make a Madness Save? Now someone just needs to stat out an animated farmhouse and we'll be set. Me: Wait...we have a flying city? DM: Uhhh...yeah. Me: :lightbulb I have an idea. Other players: What? Me: Trust me, guys this is gonna be great! fly city to nearest large metropolitan center, my character leans over the edge of the flying city Me: GIVE US A HUNDRED MILLION GOLD PIECES OR WE LAND THIS PUPPY!!:D So, for the last time (and Mr. (can't say his name because his comics are forbidden topics) I'm looking at you), D&D does not lead to Satanism. Occasionally Olidammaraism or Pelorism, but not Satanism. Asmodeus killed that guy a long time ago. I suppose him having maxed ranks in 'Profession(Lawyer)' pretty much locks him into Evil, though. But hey, if you can pull it off, you could worship your shoe and it would grant you divine powers. I suggest giving it the Protection and Travel domains, and the favored weapon of Steel Toed Boot (a steel gauntlet in the form of a shoe). All hail the Almighty Shoe! Good knows it will win eventually, it just doesn't know when. Evil doubts that it can win; hence it turns to trickery and half-truths to try and force the issue. When Good tries to force the issue, it too will end up with only trickery and half-truths - which is how many paladins fall (they lose track of what Goodness means because part of Goodness is putting "faith" over "force"). Who does WotC have as their chief design and public relations officer, the Bursar? Only old "Mister Jelly is coming", Dried Frog pills would think of that. His theories were physical laws, not legal laws - being Chaotic doesn't mean you ignore gravity say (unless you're also a sorcerer). And yes, a bunch of that stuff is also in my sig.
_Jayne_Cobb_ 04-04-08, 11:44 AM	"If Wizards of the Coast put out a box full of free money there'd be people who'd come to the forums to complain about how its folded."
Rania 04-04-08, 11:46 AM	"If Wizards of the Coast put out a box full of free money there'd be people who'd come to the forums to complain about how its folded."LOL. Do you know where it's from? I like being able to reference stuff too.
_Jayne_Cobb_ 04-04-08, 11:54 AM	LOL. Do you know where it's from? I like being able to reference stuff too. It is from "Sulaco" :( circa '03 (maybe '04) in reference to the incessant complaining on these forums about, well, everything Wizards does.
wizard of Newfoundland 04-04-08, 09:30 PM	I can remember the gist of 2 quotes, but they might not be word for word so if someone knows the exact phrase then feel free to correct me. Since i can't find the exact quotes i also don't know who said them "A good rogue takes everything of value A great rogue takes everything not nailed down A master rogue takes the nails" "Imaginative players think outside the box, people on the char opt boards find a way to turn the box into a nuclear weapon and blow up Tiamat with it"
wraithstrike 04-04-08, 10:48 PM	Originally Posted by Bulletproof Condom Since powerful build and Monkey Grip both reference your actual size without changing it, they can't stack. It's like having two step ladders that let you reach ten feet up; you can stand on both of them if you want, but it isn't going to let you reach any higher
wraithstrike 04-04-08, 10:52 PM	Taken from another thread with quotes according to class I wish I could find it, but here is one of them, paraphrased I think. Sorceror:The wizard studies for his magic, the cleric begs for his, me, I am magic I think it was on the old thread before gleemax I am trying to find the thread but google cant even find it.
Grod_The_Giant 04-04-08, 10:59 PM	I like the CO box one. Let's see, I used to have some in my sig, but I seem to have lost them... "do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and will taste good with ketchup." "Dude, [this thread] wasn't derailed. The tracks led to the edge of a cliff, no-one told the conductor, and it is now a smoking ruin at the bottom." and, since someone has to say it, the ones in my sig, under "a little love"
GhostVampire 04-05-08, 01:21 AM	Giant Demonic Rats - In any campaign run by a friend of mine, if a player can't show up (or sometimes just for grins) that player is abducted by Giant Demonic Rats that randomly leap into existance in our midsts and kidnap a PC.:eek: They are always returened at the end of the session bound, gagged, and dazed.;) Needless to say, all of our players and charachters have a paralysing fear of giant rats.:D DM:I'm sorry, but...Giant Rats!!!:cool: Players:NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!:weep: casts "raise Dead" on thread One that we've kinda started recently is "Hello, Comrade!" Whenever a PC wants to find a magic item in town, I have him roll a Gather Info check to see if he can even find a place that might sell it. If the player rolls a critical 1, they find a guy with a cheesy Russian accent who greets them with "Hello, Comrade!" and who tries to swindle them with a sweetheart deal on the item -- only it turns out to be fake. I almost gulled a PC with it (even though the warning flags were up, the caution lamps were lit, the circus band was playing "Stars and Stripes Forever"...) by having him nearly trade his perfectly good magical longsword for a cheap non-magical sword studded with rhinestones and with a cockamamie story attached. The other players -- not the PCs -- were about to steel-chair him for being so dense. The guy also pops up if the PC wants to find an item that I don't want to be just sold to them. It originally started when a player in a 2e game wanted to buy a suit of Elven Chain, which I had already decided was something that the elves would resolutely forbid the open (or illicit) sale of -- in other words, it wasn't available to buy at any price. So the PC was poking around, when this merchant with the accent pops up, takes the PC to a warehouse and tries to sell him a suit of regular chain armor as Elven chain -- for 10,000 GP. The PC decided it was too rich for his blood and didn't bite. Now, the players turn tail and run anytime they hear "Hello, Comrade!" :D Operation: Grenade Open the door, the wizard throws a fireball through, and the fighters move in hurling knives at what's left as fast as possible. We used this when he knew there were 30 creatures on the other side of the door (coin of creature detection). The poor little guys (Okay, bugbears) were eating dinner, and then - BAM! Half of them are now crispy and dead, and the other half are crispy, half blind, wondering what the heck happened, and then get pegged with knives... :rofl:
Cowjuicer 04-05-08, 03:43 AM	That reminds of something I use in my games---"Ching's High Quality Seafood!" Basically a not-politically-correct seafood merchant with a pseudo-Chinese accent, i.e. "You wahnt lahbstah? You wahnt shreemp? Five dahllah! Fiiiiiiiive dahlah! Fivedallah!"
aelryinth 04-05-08, 06:29 PM	I doubt there is a finer quote on these entire boards then the one that started the entire CoDzilla movement on the CharOpt boards. You know a quote is gold when it gets referred to as a rule even in passing. ==+Aelryinth
Cowjuicer 04-05-08, 06:32 PM	I doubt there is a finer quote on these entire boards then the one that started the entire CoDzilla movement on the CharOpt boards. You know a quote is gold when it gets referred to as a rule even in passing. ==+Aelryinth Is it the one that goes "Just because class X is less powerful than class Y doesn't mean class X is unfit to be played" or something like that?
weezact7 04-05-08, 10:56 PM	Ah, I had a post of quotes, then I reread the topic and realized they had to be from the boards, but I don't know how to delete it. So here's one which was in someone's sig. Unfortunately, I don't remember the guy's name well. I believe it was "Kelvinaw"...and some numbers. "I have scaled the highest mountains and delved the deepest seas...drunk, in both cases. I have seen all Nine Hells and am bored with seven of them." -Finneas T. Goldshammer, The Greatest Adventurer Who Ever Lived.
Bedeverekm 04-06-08, 03:45 AM	Is it the one that goes "Just because class X is less powerful than class Y doesn't mean class X is unfit to be played" or something like that? I think it's the one that goes something like "The next time your DM complains that something out of a source book is broken, just play a basic Cleric or Druid, and make them so powerful, that random NPC's run out into the street, point into the sky and shout "Oh no! It's CoDzilla!""
kelvinaw273 04-06-08, 07:42 AM	Ah, I had a post of quotes, then I reread the topic and realized they had to be from the boards, but I don't know how to delete it. So here's one which was in someone's sig. Unfortunately, I don't remember the guy's name well. I believe it was "Kelvinaw"...and some numbers. "I have scaled the highest mountains and delved the deepest seas...drunk, in both cases. I have seen all Nine Hells and am bored with seven of them." -Finneas T. Goldshammer, The Greatest Adventurer Who Ever Lived. Much though I would love to claim to be the source of said quote ... it wasn't me! Mine are in my sig, though ... only I didn't come up with the dragons one, just the one about the occult.