Post/Author/DateTime	Post
dimble the gnome 12-12-04, 10:48 PM	What is your favorite way to annoy the DM. :evillaugh Personally, I think just killing everone you meet just to get famous. :heehee Or maybe setting up an invasion against the kingdom you're suppose to help. :invasion: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: Personally whats your oppinon.
al29902 12-12-04, 10:53 PM	That is the most wickedly evil post I've ever seen! I'm a DM and, if a player ever tried any of what you just suggested, I'd... I'd... drop a piano on their character. Okay, maybe not. ;)
Wil_Hyral 12-12-04, 11:07 PM	I have OCD, so players know exactly what to do in order for me to kill them on the spot. :twitch: Besides the obvious ways to annoy a GM, I think a great way is to look to him while you're trying to add up even the easiest of numbers. eg... Player: (rolls) 4, 5, and 2... (pause for a minute, repeating the numbers to himself) 4, ... 5... and 2... (ignore all answers from the table, until finally looking to the GM), um.. is it 11? Repeat ad infinitum
Azual 12-13-04, 08:01 AM	I have OCD, so players know exactly what to do in order for me to kill them on the spot. :twitch: Besides the obvious ways to annoy a GM, I think a great way is to look to him while you're trying to add up even the easiest of numbers. eg... Player: (rolls) 4, 5, and 2... (pause for a minute, repeating the numbers to himself) 4, ... 5... and 2... (ignore all answers from the table, until finally looking to the GM), um.. is it 11? Repeat ad infinitum this statement deserves one smilie :evillaugh that is all
Lord_Anthrax 12-13-04, 08:35 AM	1)Ask inane questions, such as "Are there any mud puddles in the road? How many?" 2)Deliberately ignore clues and plot points of the adventure and try to get the other players to go off doing something other than said adventure. 3)Keep interrupting him with off-color jokes, stories and anecdotes whenever he tries to describe something. 4)Deliberately ignore certain rules and force him to show them to you in whatever book. "What do you mean, I can't punch him without provoking an AoO? I'm a Fighter!"
Escef 12-13-04, 09:07 AM	Cannabalize every intelligent humanoid you defeat, and then claim you aren't evil, you were raised with the ideal that you don't kill something unless you're going to eat it.
qstor 12-13-04, 04:19 PM	"Keep saying come on you screen monkey..Give me some more experience points!" Mike
Morlaithion 12-14-04, 12:02 AM	Kill other PCs, kill NPCs supposed to ally with us, and do completely stupid things, like attempt to steal the king's crown off his head while at 1st level, or something of that sort. Also, burning down towns is fun...
Callista 12-14-04, 05:08 AM	That is the most wickedly evil post I've ever seen! I'm a DM and, if a player ever tried any of what you just suggested, I'd... I'd... drop a piano on their character. Okay, maybe not. ;) No, no, no, of course not!! Pianos are so outmoded... try a blue whale, or a meteor, or a kender... No, wait. That last one's too mean...
Bacon and Eggs 12-14-04, 02:05 PM	Hit on the DM's mom.
james bierly 12-14-04, 03:26 PM	Cannabalize every intelligent humanoid you defeat, and then claim you aren't evil, you were raised with the ideal that you don't kill something unless you're going to eat it. I've done this. :cool:
Escef 12-14-04, 04:18 PM	I've done this. :cool: I've been on the receiving end. :banghead: I'd ask if your name is Patrick, but you can't be him because your post isn't accompnaied by three paragraphs of nonsense.
Boldtalon 12-14-04, 06:34 PM	I've just come home from a session in which a play a 3rd lvl ranger and i asked a powerful spellcaster (if you're playing Forgotten Realms you'll know who Ashemmi is:) if she was going to use her staff for pole dancing... :D :D :D :D
was_fired 12-14-04, 07:27 PM	Nothing evil about eating the dead. Nothing good about it either, but I don't see why a neutral druid couldn't do it.
Callista 12-14-04, 09:07 PM	Heh, yeah, but it sure is annoying to your DM. "You want to do WHAT with the orc you just killed?!" "Hmm... you're right. It needs a little more salt."
psionichamster 12-14-04, 09:12 PM	after all, what else is flame strike going to do you right before bed... may as well cook dinner, and there's all that velociraptor/halfling/saddle laying over there, conviently dead and almost butchered... take his dice. no matter how many you own/use, take his away. and drink his beer/soda. that's about all that'll irritate me at the table... NPC's in game, are another matter entirely. especially when those are Oberon, Titania, and Puck. by name. 'twas fun having everyone on their toes for a baleful polymorph hamster
Escef 12-14-04, 09:15 PM	Nothing evil about eating the dead. Nothing good about it either, but I don't see why a neutral druid couldn't do it. Yeah, well, for a while I just let it slide as borderline, but not something I wanted to make an issue out of. Then one day the group took prisoners. When his characer found out that the +4 bows and +4 arrows they took were the result of magic weapon spells he got angry and killed one of the unconscious captives in retaliation and began eating it. So in effect, his cannabalism was just a way to commit further violence on the enemy, and his excuse was just that: an excuse. At that point I asked what alignment was on his sheet, and he said chaotic neutral, I told him to erase neutral and replace it with evil. A few sessions later he complained that I made his character evil, and I had to explain to him that he made his character evil, I just told him to change his sheet to reflect the way he was playing him. (Mind you, the character was also a selfish, self important bastard as well, so...)
was_fired 12-14-04, 11:18 PM	The evil part seems that it would be killing the guy out of revenge. Past that point you can't really make him suffer.
Escef 12-14-04, 11:26 PM	The evil part seems that it would be killing the guy out of revenge. Past that point you can't really make him suffer. The idea was he'd eat the enemy not because he needed food but because it was a way to visit more violence onto them. He didn't start the game eating enemies, he started out by torturing an NPC, along with another PC. The other player took it seriously when I told them that if they kept that crap up they'd be seeing alignment shifts. He started the cannabalism about 6 or 7 sesions later, about 5 sessions afterward he whipped out his excuse. And I didn't make him suffer, I picked on him no more than any other. The other PCs found his behavior revolting and eventually pushed the character out.
Callista 12-15-04, 05:03 AM	Oooh, ouch... and that makes him CE, too, and no longer neutral--a problem for druids, unless he goes for the Blighter PrC (which, frankly, I can see him doing). Some people don't know how to keep a non-Evil alignment. (But look at who's talking--I have serious trouble playing anything but Good.) I did once play in a game with a cannibalistic fellow PC. The guy was a half-orc barbarian, INT and CHA 8, who simply didn't see the significance of the dead body of a sentient creature versus that of an animal. If it was meat, then he'd eat it. He definitely had compunctions against killing sentient creatures just to eat them, though. I forget what his alignment was, but it was either CN or CG, and no hint of evil about it. His cannibalism was simply the result of a barbarian upbringing, a low Charisma (he didn't see how it disturbed people, especially my friend's poor elven ranger), and the cultural belief that there really wasn't anything sacred about intelligent beings once they were dead. He was quite a well-played character, too; and we had fun reacting to his cannibalism (my sorcerer turned slightly green and decided not to have dinner the first time she saw it, I think with a group of lizardmen). We still remember the time he wrestled a boa constrictor to the ground and killed it by slamming its head against the floor, or the time he pinned a small dragon and held it there, or the time he threw the gnomish bard across a gap in the path--without the poor surprised gnome's permission... Anyway, I'm rambling. So. Yep. Fun times. :)
simen_88 12-15-04, 05:30 PM	Call your DM a rules-lawyer when he won't let your fighter cast fireball. Try to give the paladin bad conscience for killing things. "How do you think that goblin's children feel right now? You killed their dad!"
elrohir162 12-15-04, 11:03 PM	pick up every useless item in the game such as a rock or a brooch from a dead drow, and say that their suvineirs that your going to use later in the game. then throw the rock at other people just to annoy them.
Callista 12-15-04, 11:25 PM	Hehe... that's like those text adventure games, from way back, where you picked up everything from an ancient relic to a ball of lint, 'cause you KNEW you were going to use them, and would probably die later on if you didn't have them... I submit yet another "way to annoy the DM": Say everything as if you were in a text-adventure game: DM: Okay, so you've come upon an orcish lookout. What do you do? Player: Kill orc. (Battle ensues.) DM: All right, the orc is dead... what now? Player: Look orc. DM: Whaaa? Okay... right. Search check. (Roll) DM: You see he's got a bag tied to his belt, and he's still holding his crude sword. He's wearing leather armor. Player: Get bag. Get belt. Get sword. Get armor. Get orc. Open bag. Look bag. Get all from bag. DM: .... #$%^&!
EmperorKO 12-16-04, 03:09 PM	The most annoying thing to do in a game is to tell the DM and the other players how to play their own characters. I'll admit I've been guilty of this many times in the past. For example: DM (to me): (Enemy) makes a tremendous leap from here (on the battle grid) and hits you with an energy drain attack. ME: Don't do that, that's stupid. DM: Why? ME: Because when he jumps from there he'll provoke an AoO from (Other player) and he'll get sliced in half. OTHER PLAYER: I can do that? ME: Of course. He's leaving a threatened square. Kill him. DM: Wait, nevermind... OTHER PLAYER: Too late! I kill him! ME: You really should've had him cast Confusion. DM: How do you know he can cast Confusion?? ME: I read the module. Another thing I tend to do is reveal major plot points because I simply read too many D&D books and know most of the rules without having to look them up. OTHER PLAYER: What's the Emerald Claw? ME: Militant wing of the Blood of Vol. They're a cult that worships a lich. Wait... nobody's supposed to know that. Yeah, I'm a pain in the ass sometimes.
Afarian 12-16-04, 06:25 PM	Everything that would be normally say OOC, Say in character. I.e. I used to play a dwarf whose voice was my best Shawn Connery impersonation. So if I were doing this I would say things like. "I wonder how much Exp we'll get if we take on that group of Dragonkin over there" "Alright, we finally killed them (look at DM) how much exp was that?" or things totally off topic, such as "Damn, these Doritoes taste good, would you like some?" Ask for even more inane details..for instance after you ask how many puddles are in the road. Ask How deep they are. If they're muddy or clear. If they have any flies or amphibians around them. What color is the mud on the path.
MissCalculation 12-16-04, 06:54 PM	Ignore every dungeon the DM prepared. When he tries to urge you into the dungeon, start a discussion about good roleplaying. "... dungeons are a hostile enviroment for good character play..." "If you were a good DM, you wouldn't force us to do sth. "...
Ma'ElKoth 12-16-04, 08:07 PM	Things that have been done to me: Steadfastly refuse to learn even the most simplistic rules. Require me to do the most basic math. Make stupid tactical errors, and when I exploit them take them back retroactively. Constantly ask for me to reduce or remove prerequisites for feats and prestige classes. Try to get me to allow obviously inappropriate material from other campaign worlds or publishers despite the fact that it is broken. Decide to change your alignment mid-campaign from Chaotic Neutral to Psychotic Evil. Announce this decision by slaying important NPCs with no provocation. Things that I do Remind the DM of inconvenient rules that will utterly ruin an encounter (from his perspective) and allow us to walk all over our opponents. Use my superior knowledge of DnD products to make myself a power character to dominate the few games I participate in as a PC.
Zucrous 12-16-04, 10:56 PM	I think its is personally great when you have a DM who's aims are very apparent. You just do the obvious opposite, for example, your DM says "there is nothing interesting in the house except for a very enticing book." You go and burn the book then. Or better yet, some of your party is doing something like for example buying items, your DM says "what do you guys want to do whil ethis is happening" you say "pillage a village" Outside game, bring bubble-wrap to a D&D session, or eat chips the entire time. Maybe make jokes at everything he says that could have a sexual conotation. does anyone notice how easy this is for me?
dimble the gnome 03-05-05, 10:56 PM	You should run like a mainic whenever you see a rock. Say your character is afraid of rocks. Then smash everybody near a rock saying its your religion.
RDQ 03-05-05, 11:28 PM	One of the things I waz guilty of the last session was flirtin with the guy sittin next to me cuz we like each other and r both 2 stubborn to admit it.
ImagoKid 03-06-05, 05:19 AM	After the DM has just described something, look up and say to him "And? What do we do?"
Ivid 03-06-05, 06:30 AM	Farting... Definitely FARTING is the worst thing a player can do to me while we are sitting around a small table... :gah: :gah: :gah: Besides, the dumbest meanest vilest thing my players frequently do to me is that they all tend to loose their character sheets without reason... :headexplo :headexplo :headexplo Not more less than 27 times in the last three years...
The Bassist 03-06-05, 07:27 AM	This thread seems ideal for it as in our last session, ignoring repeated warnings from our players and our DM, I kept adding dice to a tower I was building out of them, numbering 23 before it was brought down by my attempt to put a d8 on top of a d4. we spent about ten minutes looking for them after that.
J Milburn 03-06-05, 08:08 AM	play a gnome...
simen_88 03-06-05, 08:31 AM	Roleplay a gnome. A chaotic one. Who's a bard. And is named Fiddlejoy. Yes, a friend of mine is doing this. It's madness, I tell you!
RDQ 03-06-05, 12:22 PM	The worst I've ever done is made the mistake of bringing my siblings to a meeting. My brother was fine-he wandered round the library but my sister just had to have me in sight at all times. So I had her sitting next to my and one of the guys was being a jerk that day and scared the livin daylights out of her. It took me and a couple of the guys that she knows almost 10 minutes to calm her down--the DM was not happy(shes only 8 wat can you expect??).
dimble the gnome 03-06-05, 01:12 PM	play a gnome... I consider that an insult. I played a unstopappable 20th level sorcerer gnome. Str: 16 Dex:33 Con: 46 Int: 28 Wis: 32 Cha: 89 I just killed everybody with a lot of money in the game.
nyysjan 03-06-05, 02:01 PM	ignoring plot hooks is a good way to be annoying my character came to an empty house that had a dead guy sitting in front of a table, my character diagnosed that the character had died of black death DM kept pointing at a paper the corpse was holding and how it had writing on it i burned down the village :smirk: and the paper :evillaugh my character did not survive the game session altough my characters never survive the session with this DM :help: go figure :ayyyy!:
RDQ 03-06-05, 02:58 PM	Kick him out of the DMs position. We did that cuz his DMing SUCKED!!
Titan W 03-06-05, 03:09 PM	heh, someone in our group was a pacifistic cleric of pelor... Look at the evil demon... Dm: USE THAT HOLY MACE NOW, I GAVE IT TO YOU FOR THIS! Player: I'll jsut heal the druid... Dm: *Shakes head* Demon deals 12 damage to the monk and he takes 1 con damage. Druid: Using my demonology research can I identify it. DM: It's an imp Monk: I'll punch it 10 damage Dm: Okay cleric with the concecrated +2D6 good aligned devine damage mace, wat are you going to do? Cleric: Heal hte druid, Yay an 18, he's at full Hp Dm: (Now really annoyed) Oi... this is annoying...
RDQ 03-06-05, 04:05 PM	Then not tell him why we don't want him as DM
Super Guy 03-06-05, 05:48 PM	One of our favorite things is to requote the DM. DM: When you come up to the tomb, you notice it looks pretty ancient, except for the wooden door, that looks like it has been in use. Me: Guys, this tomb looks pretty ancient, except for the wooden door, which looks like it has been in use. I haven't tried this one I'm about to list, but it'd sure make your DM mad: Speak to the BBEG like you're the BBEG, "Wouldn't YOU like to know?" "Yes... yes... all a part of my plan" "Are you sure you want to zap me...? *Snicker*" Also, anything funny to do with the BBEG is good. One of our players was spying on the BBEG, when suddenly he noticed it. BBEG: "WHAT are you DOING?!" Player: "Uhh... can we have some gold?" BBEG: "That is the STUPIDEST question I've ever heard!" :rofl:
Quimlik Bomrand 03-06-05, 06:06 PM	Sigh and shift in your seat every ten seconds. Then fart as much as you can.
Encard 03-06-05, 06:57 PM	Come to the game very drunk with the name "Zilgor, Crusher of Bunnies" on your character sheet, accompanied by the words Frenzied Berserker. Give a note to the DM about everything that pops into your head, game-related or not. Complain constantly until he reads them all.
RDQ 03-06-05, 07:59 PM	listen to every word they say then ask um to repeat everything they've has said in the past 5-10 minutes
Escef 03-06-05, 09:41 PM	I got a couple that I sorta used. One of my players was taking a turn at DMing (I had been burnt out on it). There was an NPC assassin that we had encountered before, who we were now semi-forced to work with. To try to keep us in check he threatened that with three words ("so-n-so, help me") the place would be crawling with soldiers. At which time, for the sake of mocking the NPC (and getting cheap laughs out of the rest of the table) I declared, "free *butt* sex!" The rest of the players got some chuckles out of it, the DM gave me some of the nastiest dagger-eyes I've ever seen. Earlier in the campaign he introduced us to a higher level party of NPC adventurers, who I nick-named "the Avengers", which he also didn't like. Especially when I refered to the female elven cleric of the Avengers as "the cleric *female dog*", which made him even angrier when he caught himself refering to her as that as well. Coincidentally, this guy is a great world-builder, it was just a shame that the party didn't really pull together until the last handful of sessions. He put a lot of depth into the campaign that we never got the chance to appreciate.
Darth K'Trava 03-06-05, 10:09 PM	The players all decide to cancel the game right when he shows up. Argue with the DM about what level a new PC is coming in at. We had one guy who did that and the DM decided to make the new PC at the same, if not 1 level higher, than the complaining player's PC...... :devil:
Titan W 03-06-05, 10:33 PM	Consort with all of hte players to take their next feat as "Vow of Pacifism" Decide that it's intellegent to tell the silver dragon that's offered to be your transport for helping her out wiht a small manner she looks old... Play a Chaotic Evil character in a Good campaign, and TPK everyone by stabbing them in the back when fighting against the BBEG...
simen_88 03-07-05, 01:56 AM	Promise to show up, but on the day of the gaming you are nowhere to be found, noone has seen you and nobody answers your phone.
Escef 03-07-05, 04:13 AM	Promise to show up, but on the day of the gaming you are nowhere to be found, noone has seen you and nobody answers your phone. That is beyond annoying, that is disrespectful to everyone in the group, especially in a long running campaign. In my games that is cause for an immeadiate boot from the gaming table unless you have a damn good excuse (got in an accident, close relative in the hospital, child being born, etc.)
Count Arioch the 28th 03-07-05, 04:25 AM	One of the things I waz guilty of the last session was flirtin with the guy sittin next to me cuz we like each other and r both 2 stubborn to admit it. Was Flirting Sitting Because are too got it? Good, I don't want you posting in "doodspeak" again. I'm not saying you need perfect grammar, (We all make occasional mistakes) but you do need to at least attempt. And if anyone says anything about English as a second language, no foriegn person would use doodspeak, that implies you know English, you're just too lazy to type it.
Habronicus 03-07-05, 05:07 AM	the dumbest meanest vilest thing my players frequently do to me is that they all tend to loose their character sheets without reason... :headexplo :headexplo :headexplo Not more less than 27 times in the last three years... Which is why GMs should always keep the PCs sheets with them :cool:
TheDragonmaster 03-07-05, 06:03 AM	When out of session, buy items for your characters cash, change your characters name, religion and alignment. Don't tell your DM on the next session. Let him figure it out for himself. Don't keep track of used potions, shot arrows, bolts or bullets (read Arrow of Slaying, Stirge Bolts, +5 Halfling Skiprocks of Fiery Burst) or thrown weapons. Don't keep track of your hp or nonlethal damage. That's the DM's job. Don't roll hp. Assign it. (Barbarian HD 1d6+6) Roll your dice hidden from the DM (or even better, get an own DM screen).
Master Of Twists 03-07-05, 06:33 AM	If a player wanted to annoy me on purpose, I would probably kick them out of the campaign for distrupting the game and not staying focused on the realism of the game world. I know it is a fantasy world, but still , the dungeon master does not exist in the game world so the event of a player character doing something that will annoy the dungeon master would be for very immature people
Nathan P. Mahney 03-07-05, 07:01 AM	When the DM finally has you fight the Red Dragon he's been building up to, have your character whip out that Potion of Red Dragon Control he's been lugging around for 15 years. Trust me, this one works a treat!
pseudoidiot 03-07-05, 09:24 AM	here's one my players have done to me on numerous occasions. i got a set of tact-tiles, which i find vastly useful, and i also got a nice big set of multicolored markers. after i get a big map all drawn out, using all 12 of my tiles, my players think it's fun to start grabbing markers, especially the pretty ones like purple and blue (half of my group is female) and start doodling and "enhancing the map". like inside a temple of velsharoon where they encountered a vampire. they decided there needed to be a big wide purple carpet running down the aisle, and then there needed to be lots of green & red ribbons running among the pillars. then there was the time the gnome set fire to a large fire watchtower, so of course, it had to be colored red and yellow and orange while it was burning. sheesh
silvermist 03-07-05, 09:36 AM	Ask for even more inane details..for instance after you ask how many puddles are in the road. Ask How deep they are. If they're muddy or clear. If they have any flies or amphibians around them. What color is the mud on the path. personally i wouldnt mind this as a dm. i might actually like it providing it didnt go on too long. in fact i typically keep a few gp/items in reserve as rewards in case players do take their own inititive to check things out further.
pseudoidiot 03-07-05, 10:01 AM	i agree, sometimes you just need a lot of details, even if other players or the DM doesn't understand why right away. but, yes, it can go too far. a good example is a habit i've gotten into concerning doors. i always ask how it opens; is it a push, pull, does it slide. by what means does one open it, is there a knob, a handle, etc? this is mostly because i've seen it happen alot where someone will say "i push the door open" and the dm says they can't. not because it's locked, not because it's stuck.. because it's a pull. plus, if it's a pull, you just open it, and hide behind the door and let your party deal with what's behind it =)
Ivid 03-07-05, 11:29 AM	Which is why GMs should always keep the PCs sheets with them :cool: :embarrass One should expect that an adult is able to look for a simple sheet of paper... Apparently the average D&D player is not... :yuck: :yuck: :yuck: Grievances aired by a long time DM... :D
RDQ 03-07-05, 10:13 PM	Fine whatever Count Arioch the 28th and hey you can't rag on me to much--I'm a writer and between that and school (and considering what this week is) I'm usally pretty typed and written out by the weekend and after school. Also Ivid--I tend to agree with you on that one and considering everyone in my group is between 15-18 at the moment and none of us have lost our character sheets yet, thats pretty sad.
Darth K'Trava 03-07-05, 10:34 PM	:embarrass One should expect that an adult is able to look for a simple sheet of paper... Apparently the average D&D player is not... :yuck: :yuck: :yuck: Grievances aired by a long time DM... :D We do have 2 who seem to forget character sheets on occasion.... usually stuck in another locale and not able to go home to retrieve before heading to the game straight from work.... it's easier for all for the DM to have a copy of their sheets for this very reason.
RDQ 03-07-05, 11:01 PM	It's not the character sheets we have problems with it's sanity(although I don't think any of us had any to begin with... :heehee :w00t: :rofl:
Ivid 03-08-05, 03:29 AM	I absolutely refuse to do that! My players are mostly elder than I am, already working etc. Couldn't one expect them to look for ONE sheet of paper... :behold: :behold: :behold: *printing copies*
Habronicus 03-08-05, 03:36 AM	I absolutely refuse to do that! My players are mostly elder than I am, already working etc. Couldn't one expect them to look for ONE sheet of paper... :behold: :behold: :behold: *printing copies* That's one more reason to do it. With age, people get forgetful. ;)
Ivid 03-08-05, 04:00 AM	*Printing printing printing copies* :rimshot:
Escef 03-08-05, 04:10 AM	I'm willing to bet more than one player with several years under the belt has had character sheets moved or destroyed by their little ones.
MarkB 03-08-05, 05:43 AM	What tends to get to my DM is bad puns, which is a pity given that I seem to generate them spontaneously (i.e. when my Paladin was dining with a Half-Orc tribe and asked for cutlery, the DM describes the half-orc server going off into the kitchen and coming back with a regretful expresssion. "Let me guess - they don't have any intact cutlery, so he could only find a half-fork?") As a DM, I can say that the following can be annoying if you're not ready for it: In a tavern in a 2-bit hamlet that's supposed to be just a stopover on your way to the real adventure, ask about how many people there are around. Then ask what each of them looks like. Then talk to them. Then ask their names. Then pickpocket them.
Ivid 03-08-05, 06:40 AM	As a DM, I can say that the following can be annoying if you're not ready for it: In a tavern in a 2-bit hamlet that's supposed to be just a stopover on your way to the real adventure, ask about how many people there are around. Then ask what each of them looks like. Then talk to them. Then ask their names. Then pickpocket them. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Finally someone who seems to understand me! :ayyyy!: :ayyyy!: :ayyyy!:
J Milburn 03-08-05, 11:30 AM	Why not just pick pocket everybody? As a DM, that dosent actually annoy me unless it gets out of control. players pick pocketting each other is hilarious to waytch, but infuriating if you are not in a casual mood.
Damien_Hiro 03-08-05, 11:49 AM	Bring a cowbell to your session and ring it...a lot. Then have someone else yell, "We need more cowbell!"
Ivid 03-08-05, 03:17 PM	Bring a cowbell to your session and ring it...a lot. Then have someone else yell, "We need more cowbell!" :mymy:
elrohir162 03-08-05, 10:39 PM	take advantage of the game and exploit it, such as buying the best magical items and having a awsome strength (my barbarian has a 30 strength) or something else, then doing something completely stupid and having it work (power attack of 25 right here, I hit too, dealing a good 50 points of damage in one swing of my greataxe)
LosGunD 03-08-05, 11:22 PM	Randomly throughout multiple points ask if you can apply the paragon template to your character. If he says no, sigh and move on. Then at another random time, ask the same question. Same response, so sigh and move on. Wash, rinse , and repeat until you have lots of money. Err.... Uh... Or until your DM is foolish enough to give you the paragon template... But yes, keep asking. You might get it eventually. Or die trying.
Titan W 03-08-05, 11:31 PM	ask "How long until I can start playing a great worm in this level 5 cpgn?" Whenever you enter combat ask "Can I smell their breath yet?", Can I see up it's nose?, how many wrinkles are on its face, how many cones make up its cornea?, Rods? What about lumps, does it have any lumps on its skin? - repeat similar questions for everything you see... everything...
Darion Fenix 03-09-05, 12:36 AM	When your DM says your roll of 17 on a skill check "wasn't good enough" prove her wrong by doing what your character was going to do. ...turns out if your hands are tied behind your back you can thread your legs through your arms so that they're in front of you. Just takes 3 minutes and hurts like hell. Also when you go "ooooh foreshadowing!"...that's the fastest way to a beating.
Jonasty 03-09-05, 12:50 AM	My personal favorite was always waiting for my DM to anounce the massive amount of damage I took from the arrow, crossbow bolt, etc. and then right before he got his evil grin, remind him that my monk had Deflect Arrows and he could take his damage and stick it some place not so pleasant. Priceless. :D
pseudoidiot 03-09-05, 12:54 AM	When your DM says your roll of 17 on a skill check "wasn't good enough" prove her wrong by doing what your character was going to do. ...turns out if your hands are tied behind your back you can thread your legs through your arms so that they're in front of you. Just takes 3 minutes and hurts like hell. Also when you go "ooooh foreshadowing!"...that's the fastest way to a beating. i can one up you. same situation, hands tied behind back. i can go up and over my head. doesn't hurt like hell, only slightly uncomfortable. err, dont try this at home. i'm slightly freakish because my shoulders are double-jointed and come out of socket painlessly. it's a great party trick, people never cease to cringe :D
alexanderwales 03-09-05, 02:18 AM	Ask the DM questions about the economy, and why it is that a commoner can't afford a house (by the Stronghold Builder's Guidebook) unless he saved for eight lifetimes. Have your paladin burn babies, and explain that good and evil are abstract concepts, and that doing something for the greater good blah blah blah. Ask for clarifications on rules that: s/he doesn't know you don't use everyone knows If your group doesn't worry about weight limits, worry about weight limits for them. The same goes for spell components, food, water, and "Shouldn't he have to make a check for that?" Incorrectly guess what all of his monsters are. Example: Your DM: "A red four armed creature with a chitinous shell and beady eyes comes skittering around the corner." You: "God, not another tiefling. Okay guys, it's going to have high Dex and probably be a rogue. They have resistances, so save the elemental strikes." Buy lots of small mundane items, and insist on interacting with the shopkeeper on every purchase. Haggle over the price of 5 ft. of rope. It's best to do this when you're at a high level and the single sp of saving comes out to be 1/2,000,000 of your net worth.
yeknom 03-09-05, 02:23 AM	Why would you want to annoy your DM? If I had a player who decided to intentionally annoy me I would invite him to never come back to my game and suggest he find some relationship therapy course to join.
Darion Fenix 03-09-05, 03:04 AM	i can one up you. same situation, hands tied behind back. i can go up and over my head. doesn't hurt like hell, only slightly uncomfortable. err, dont try this at home. i'm slightly freakish because my shoulders are double-jointed and come out of socket painlessly. it's a great party trick, people never cease to cringe :D But...arms aren't supposed to bend that way! :eek: Admittedly it was quite a feat for me since I'm a little more muscle bound than your average gamer. Point being, if 240 pound, Strength score of 17 me can make an escape artist check... my 240 pound, Str 17 Fighter can do the same thing with his life in imminent danger. Also, the DM is my girlfriend...so it's my ordained right to give her grief. She nearly takes out my Level 2 Fighter with a badger (the regular, non-dire sort)...so I hit on the female-BBEG. It's all fair! "You don't really want to feed me to your pet wyvern do you? Cut me down from here and I'll fix you a nice dinner and draw a bubble bath. No deal? How about a massage? You look like you're carrying a lot of tension in the uh...lower back. OW! NOT IN THE FACE!"
alexanderwales 03-09-05, 03:16 AM	Personally, I annoy my DM because everyone alternates turns as the DM (every three months or so). I'm not sure who started it, and we only do it occasionally, but we do it because it's fun. There are some things that are off limits, including some things that have been mentioned on this thread, but harmless things, like asking the phase of the moon and the season, especially if you have a legitimate excuse like being a werewolf (We Don't Use Templates Anymore, see my sig) or a Witch of the Woods. The DM is sort of God too, so we try not to upset him/her too much.
RDQ 03-09-05, 09:03 AM	When one of the characters shoots a bow ask were each arrow landed exacly...whether on the body (ask for major details on this one) or where it landed on the ground if they miss :D
pseudoidiot 03-09-05, 10:52 AM	But...arms aren't supposed to bend that way! :eek: you should see me lick my elbow, it's not as good as the arms over the head trick, but it's pretty fun, too :)
simen_88 03-09-05, 11:22 AM	you should see me lick my elbow, it's not as good as the arms over the head trick, but it's pretty fun, too :) Could you post a picture of that?
Titan W 03-09-05, 04:01 PM	I can lick my elbow too... for me it was about figuring out the little tricks to it (There's a meathod for us normal people)... Keep telling your DM that they are messing up minor notes in the game (Like the possibble ammount of gold that the mage shop in a hamlet will have... and that in a hamlet it would seem odd to have a mage shop... then have your character start investigating this based on the fact he has a wisdom score of 14 and a INT score of 16...
Darth K'Trava 03-09-05, 04:30 PM	It's not the character sheets we have problems with it's sanity(although I don't think any of us had any to begin with... :heehee :w00t: :rofl: Sanity? What's that? :P
pseudoidiot 03-09-05, 04:34 PM	Could you post a picture of that? erm, sure. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v397/pseudoidiot/elbowlick01.jpg and so as i'm not totally off topic... act out every single thing your character does. this includes talking in different languages, miming skill checks, attack rolls, etc. and complain when the DM won't play the part of monsters and NPC's for you to intteract with. not just talking and what not. demand s/he turn around so you can make your sneak attack on them, etc etc. in other words, do everything you can to prolong the amount of time your character resolves everything they do :D (i realize some of this would be encouraged for RP purposes, but i'm talking about taking it to an extreme, of course. then again, anything normally ok in a d&d session taken to an extreme would be annoying...)
Darion Fenix 03-09-05, 09:33 PM	That's not natural. :gah: Look away children, look away! I've had the same idea about languages actually. In my game dwarves just happen to speak German, Elves - French, Dragons and Celestials and Fiends - Latin, Halflings - Spanish Well, not so much German as a horrible...horrible and likely offensive impersonation (or Ramstein lyrics...). But apparently my Halfling isn't bad.
dimble the gnome 03-09-05, 10:39 PM	Roll your dice hidden from the DM (or even better, get an own DM screen). I do this and tell my DM higher rolls then they are so they barely hit. Or, you could surrender every time after starting a fight. DM: You see your rival Johnathan strait ahead. Player: I charge him. DM: You hit and he looks to be almost dead. Player: I :surrender DM:WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A few days later DM: He lets you go after he gets boerd of you. Player: I attack him. A few minutes later... DM: He is knocked out. Player: I tie myself to a pole and wait for him to wake up. DM (Inside his head): Ah he going to try to trick him. DM: He finally wakes up after a couple of hours. Player: I :surrender DM: Are you sure? Player: :banghead: I can do what I want to. Okay! :rant: :pbbbtt: DM: OK :uh-huh: :looloo:
RDQ 03-10-05, 09:20 AM	Thanks Darth K'Trava I'm not the only one who uses that saying :w00t: No I'll look at one of my guys who just said somethi9n bout sanity and go what is sanity anyway?? :confused:
Moon-Lancer 03-10-05, 09:55 AM	when the dm describes the color of your charicters eyes tell him the eye color on your sheet is not the actual color the of your charicter.... then see if he gets it.
Captain Casualty 03-10-05, 10:24 AM	One we have been doing recently is now that we have a high enough level of cleric animating everyone that we have killed giving them a shovel and then telling them to go bury themselves... When we started to run out of shovels we also told them to leave the shovel on top of the mound... This has resulted in a large number of undead milling around dungeon entrances holding shovels and looking confused about how they bury themselves whilst leaving the shovel on top of the mound.
Habronicus 03-10-05, 02:02 PM	Do something else while the GM is describing a scene (like drawing, stacking dice, watching tv, talking about real life events to the other players, etc). That, and most of the stuff mentioned in this thread, is grounds for mild warnings, followed by harsh warning and, finally, eventual banning from the group. Yeah, I take my games "seriously"... :P
yeti 03-10-05, 03:32 PM	I as the DM came for our weekly session. Then I stood before a closed door because all players had cancelled the round and went to a party instead and failed to inform me. Fall asleep during a fight (at least once per session). Ask your DM if you can join his game, come for one session, and then after the DM bent backwards to introduce your character to the party, tell him you will not be able to come anymore. Play a complex character concept (in my case it was a player who insisted to play a weretigress druid) then let your DM help you create the character, then ask your DM everytime your initiative is on, how you should act, because you get confused by your complex character. All these above things happened to me as a DM all in the same campaign.
J Milburn 03-10-05, 03:49 PM	Make perform checks in the middle of a combat situation. Someone also once declared that they were going to sit and craft rather than help solve a puzzle.
Rashiko 03-10-05, 04:53 PM	Ensure that every number on your character sheet is even or ending in 5. HP is always even number or ends in a 5 All ability scores are even numbers All copper is even or ends in a 5 All silver is even or ends in a 5 All gold is even or ends in a 5 All platinum is even or ends in a 5 All damage and to hit bonuses are even or ending in 5 (When raging if BBn) Enchant weapons and armor with +X bonuses only to round the numbers nicely Refuse to pay certain amounts of gold since it would uneven your total Take feats to even off the skills if necessary Round your die rolls off when they land on an odd number I've done all of these except the last two. It gets interesting sometimes :-) Although I've had some trouble keeping it even these last few levels... Almost forgot: Make sure everybody knows about it... Continuously if necessary
woodstock1219 03-11-05, 01:15 PM	I like to try to defeat the DM screen, any way possible. By the ways of dice, pencils, books, anything that could BRING IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :invasion:
Ogre4Hire 03-11-05, 02:45 PM	Argue with your DM. The subject doesn't matter. Just keep argueing. Even when the DM says that' you're right, keep argueing.
dimble the gnome 05-21-06, 09:54 AM	Here's another one. Whenever your DM says "What are you going to do, you say attack." Example DM: The cleric has finished healing all of your wounds, what are you going to do now? Player: Attack :fight!: DM: What? :confused: Player: Attack Cleric :evillaugh DM: Ok.... The cleric is dead, what are you going to do now Player: Attack :cool: DM: Who are you going to attack, there's no one here. Player: Attack Building. :dancin: DM: This is going to be a long day.
Koriel 05-21-06, 02:09 PM	We have this carving made of purple stone at our gaming table. The players use it as a talisman to ward off the DM's harmful influences. At the beginning of our playing session, someone always puts it in the center of the table and points it at the DM. When the DM is narrating some dangerous encounter, the players will adjust the stone to make sure it's pointed in the DM's direction. Occasonally, a player will pick it up, point it at the DM, and intone, "Get back, evil DM!"
Woolff 05-23-06, 05:00 AM	I was the DM. Underwater Pirate adventure. Barbarian Enlarged, Hasted, Raging. Traps attacking Mermen in a net. ATTACKS WITH THE NET WITH MERMEN INSIDE AS A CLUB!!!! Then asks me "How much damage do mermen do??" ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!
Arcane 05-23-06, 05:12 AM	CONSTANTLY do things which destroy the universe, or near to it - "I put the bag of holding in the Portable Hole, and turn it inside out." "I try to balance on my sword hilt, with the blade holding me up." (done this one with a rogue, made the roll) "I hide on the ceiling." (made this one too, same character) etc...
Glanoric 05-23-06, 08:20 AM	My current favorite method is to have a lot of random situational modifiers. I was playing a deepwarden dwarven defender ranger fighter back in the day. He had modifiers to spells and spell-likes, poisons, traps, magical beasts, giants, goblinoids. So every I got to have a lot of conversations like this. DM: The angry looking elf hurls a fireball at you! Me: Is it a spell? DM: Yes. Me: Is it poison? DM: *sigh* no. Me: Is it a trap? DM: I'm going to stab you. Me: What? It's surprise round! It's kind of a trap! DM: Not a trap! Me: My turn! I charge the elf! Is it a magical beast? DM: WTF it's an elf you tool! ME: IT COULD BE AN ILLUSION! DM: Grarara no! Me: Is it a giant? DM: FFS no! Me: What if I reduce myself? I imagine he'd be pretty big then! DM: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Me: Is it a goblin? Like a half-elf goblinoid dude with a bad temper and a screw thew world disposition? DM: *throws dice at me* you know what, Talos smites you down with righteous thunder, and the entirety of your dwarf clan and everyone even vaguely tied to it! Me: Is the thunder a trap?
Morrowner 05-23-06, 11:21 AM	Prank names for characters really sets my current DM off. Thelonius the monk is a classic name, for example. I want to play as a Dread Necromancer named Trebreh Tsew.
Dark Stryke 05-23-06, 09:13 PM	As a DM, here are a few that have happened to me: A player who MUST play a wizard in every campaign we play in, but refuses to learn how the spell system in D&D works (IE He knows he has a certain number of spells per day, and maybe some bonus ones, but I have to tell him exactly how many). He also writes down every spell he knows on one sheet of paper for convenience. This seems like a good thing, except for the fact that he refuses to learn what his spells do, beyond a general idea. He knows exactly what Ray of Enfeeblement does, and he knows fireball deals damage in a wide area, he's just not sure how many dice, what the area is, or what the save is. Typical talks with him tend to go like this. PLAYER: Okay, I cast fireball on the cultists. ME: Alright, show me where you center the spell. PLAYER: *confused looking, points to a space on the grid* ME: Uh, there? You're going to hit the monk and the cleric there. PLAYER: Oh... What's the radius again? ME: 20 foot radius. PLAYER: Oh, okay. Then I pick here. ME: Okay, your fireball blasts into existance, scorching four of the cultists horribly. They scream in agony as their comrades look on, aghast. Roll damage. PLAYER: What do I roll again? ME: 1d6 per wizard level. PLAYER: *blank look* ME: You're a 6th level wizard, right? so that's 6d6. PLAYER: Okay! *rolls* 27. ME: Nice damage! What's the save on your fireball again? PLAYER: Uh... *rolls a d20* it's 19. ME: What?! Your int mod is NOT +6! PLAYER: No, I roll and add my caster level, right? ME: No, you look at your bloody character sheet and tell me the number I wrote down for you when you reached level 5! PLAYER: Oh! 16. ME: *several rolls and pen scratches* Two of the cultists are now unconcious. The other two are burned badly, but they're still standing. PLAYER: Wait, I'm a second level rogue. Does that mean I roll 2 more d6? ME: No, your rogue level doesn't count. PLAYER: But I took Practiced Spellcaster! that makes my caster level go up! ME: *string of expletives* And you planned on telling me this, WHEN?! So... that's really annoying. Especially when I have to jump through similar hoops for Minor Image, Invisibility, Charm Person, and pretty much anything without a single target, straight up damaging effect. I was going to post some other ones... but that's long enough as it is. Weep for me, for I DM for delinquents. (Although, I probably deserve it :D )
Gryllmyre 05-23-06, 11:25 PM	Pretend to flee from the encounter so that NPC sorceror thinks he gained enough XP to raise a level, then ambush him while he's meditating.
ProfWhy 05-24-06, 01:43 AM	A player who MUST play a wizard in every campaign we play in, but refuses to learn how the spell system in D&D works (IE He knows he has a certain number of spells per day, and maybe some bonus ones, but I have to tell him exactly how many). He also writes down every spell he knows on one sheet of paper for convenience. This seems like a good thing, except for the fact that he refuses to learn what his spells do, beyond a general idea. He knows exactly what Ray of Enfeeblement does, and he knows fireball deals damage in a wide area, he's just not sure how many dice, what the area is, or what the save is. Does this person have a learning disability, or have a hard time with reading, or is a "special needs" person? If so, then I applaud you for helping this person with learning this game and opening up a whole new realm of possibilities for his imagination... :) Is he unable to afford a PHB so that he can properly learn how to play a wizard, and (possibly) is embarrassed to mention it? Maybe someone could loan him their PHB for a week or two while he learns the ins and outs of the class, and he might do a better job with it... However, if he doesn't have any problems with reading or information retention, and he's able to acquire a PHB for himself, that's a whole new ballgame... Easy fix to that would be to say to him before the game (and most likely outside the group) that you've given him enough time to learn the spells and how they're properly cast, and now it's his turn to stand on his own and show you how well he's learned the game... Mention that you won't be giving him any more help or hints, and that you have confidence in him that he can do it all by himself... ;) He'll either fall on his face (either because he hasn't been paying attention at all, or because he has some sort of attention or learning disorder he's been hiding) or he'll get his act together and play the class correctly... (Of course, if you go with that last option and he still falls flat on his face, then time for a little heart-to-heart with him to find out what's going on... it'll afford a chance to offer up some extra help outside the game, if possible, on the mechanics of D&D...) Just my opinions, of course... Take 'em or leave 'em... :D
Romtos 05-24-06, 01:58 PM	Things that have been done to me: Steadfastly refuse to learn even the most simplistic rules. Require me to do the most basic math. Make stupid tactical errors, and when I exploit them take them back retroactively. Constantly ask for me to reduce or remove prerequisites for feats and prestige classes. Try to get me to allow obviously inappropriate material from other campaign worlds or publishers despite the fact that it is broken. Decide to change your alignment mid-campaign from Chaotic Neutral to Psychotic Evil. Announce this decision by slaying important NPCs with no provocation. Things that I do Remind the DM of inconvenient rules that will utterly ruin an encounter (from his perspective) and allow us to walk all over our opponents. Use my superior knowledge of DnD products to make myself a power character to dominate the few games I participate in as a PC. Psychotic Evil? Or do you mean very, very chaotic evil? :D