Post/Author/DateTime	Post
TheFace 04-08-06, 11:13 PM	The thing I seek is an old article in an ancient tome, an old Dragon magazine, a parody of Simon and Garlfunkles "The Boxer" known only as the "Fighter". these are the lyrics I remember. I am just a poor elf, tho' my stories seldom told, I have slaughtered all the kingsmen for a belt pouch full of coinage, copper, steel and gold... ... skulking from the scene of battle just as fast as I can go, roll percentile dice and I elude my foe (Roll the die, roll the die, die, die, da, die, die, die, da, die) ... just a come on from a wench whose serving luke warm ale, I must admit I was shocked when she attacked me, and the DM rolled a hit (Roll the die, roll the die, die, die, da, die, die, roll the die) ... now two orcs appear before me, growling threatningly, resigningly I face the three, in the ally lies my longsword bent and broken the first blow, Though vague and piecemeal I hope beyond hope that this will provide thy sages with the proper trigger as to reawaken your hazy memories. As erudite as ever, The Face
Solaris 04-08-06, 11:20 PM	It's truly astonishing what one can find when one googles for "I am just a poor elf" (with quotes). Though that seems rather shorter than you're remembering...
TheFace 04-09-06, 11:01 AM	Though that did fit some of the criteria that I put forth I am incredibly confident that the lyrics I posted were correct, just incomplete. I feel that the major boundary between me and my quarry is that this knowledge is bound within the minds of players of a rather older sort. For you see the knowledge came from an article in a magazine that I was given by a man, who's new wife and child demanded he quit gaming for a while. His sacrifice was my boon, but I now cannot locate the article, perhaps this post would've been better served if it were to be labled "Calling Old Dragon Magazine Subscribers" but it is too late now. I once again humbly thank you for your contribution to my search.
celtredleg 04-09-06, 11:45 AM	"we are brave and fearless kobolds, we are brave and fearless koblod weare brave and fearless kobolds and we are 200 strong" I definately remember the article. The above is a line from another song in the same one I believe. Unfortunetly, 20 years ago when I joined the army I left all my old dragons with somebody, and I have not gotten them back.
Zherog 04-09-06, 11:59 AM	...perhaps this post would've been better served if it were to be labled "Calling Old Dragon Magazine Subscribers" but it is too late now. You should be able to edit the title.
Priest_of_Shaundakul 04-09-06, 12:19 PM	Hey Zherog, every time I read your name here, I keep thinking of "Xerox"
Zherog 04-09-06, 12:22 PM	Wow! The thought of copying me is scary! :D
TheFace 04-16-06, 03:55 PM	Here is the ballad I so looked for as I think some of you must be somewhat curious: I am just a poor elf, and my stories often told. I have slaugtered all the king's men for a belt pouch full of coinage (Copper, steel and gold). I'm laying low Skulking from the scene of battle just as fast as I can go. Roll percentile dice and I elude my foe. Chorus Roll the die. Roll the die, die, die, die, die Roll the die. Roll tge die, die, die, die, die d-d-d-d-die. Wanting only fame and riches I go seeking a new job but I get no offers. Just a come-on from a wench Who's serving luke-warm ale. I must admit I was shocked when she attacked me and the DM rolled a hit! Chorus Now I'm tearing out the tavern door, the barmaid at my heels, what's the deal? Now two orcs appear before me, growling threat'ningly. Resighningly, I face the three. In the roadway lied my longsword, bent and broken the first blow, and my body lies unmoving thanks to fumbling three times in a row. I'm cut down, and I cry out - "How come my fighter never wins? "You have killed him. You have killed him!" But the DM only grins. Chorus There are many more parodies, Paul Simons "Still Crazy After All These Years", REO Speedwagons "I Can't Stop This Feeling", Olivia Newton-John's "Xanadu", Don McLean's "American Pie", The Beach Boy's "Kokomo", Billy Joels "The Stranger and "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" from "Annie"... ""... though I am afraid none of them are the aforementioned Kobold song. Good day to you, The Face
StevenO 04-16-06, 11:40 PM	I remember seeing something like this some time ago. I believe it was the April (Fools) issue with the "cut and paste" cover that came out sometime in the mid 90's.