Can Some One tell me where I can get a Character Rated [Archive] - Wizards Community

Can Some One tell me where I can get a Character Rated [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Zoh Palsak of Spork
01-31-04, 10:32 PM Simple easy way to put this. My old DM moved and i know that if I ever get back into this game I'm not going to have a DM who is so generous.

So I created another character that met the restrictions of D&D but I want to see if it will fly. I've given him a Backstory, Name and other stuff I think is important to the furtherment of a story.

Can someone tell where and if I can get this done? Sorry if I sound like a total newb but hey I kinda am.
arcady
01-31-04, 10:38 PM This is going to be something you have to address individually with each DM you have. Every DM's game is a little different and you're best off making characters specifically for a given game after you've been invited to join rather than in isolation.

The other option is to try DMing yourself. I did it on the third game I ever played, the second one that I knew was a roleplaying game (the first time I was visiting my step-cousin and he ran me through a module without explaining what the game was).

I've been DMing ever since, for 22 years now. It's not all that hard, and the best way to learn is to just jump in.

That's the best way to find a new game when you lose the old one - start it yourself.
Zoh Palsak of Spork
01-31-04, 11:03 PM Thanks a lot. That's a big help.

I would still like to see what people think about the character I made if anyone is interested just let me know and I'll PM him to you. Thanks.
arcady
01-31-04, 11:20 PM You could just post it here.
Zoh Palsak of Spork
01-31-04, 11:57 PM Character’s Name: Sisecant Yurop. Son of the Wizard Halenzo Wise.
Player’s Name: Mark
Sex: Male
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 203
Race: Elf/Human
Age: 20
Job Class: War Mage
Family: Father (Dead), Mother/Siblings (Unknown)
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Description:
As a Half Elf, he has aged to about his 20th human year of life. He has hair a little longer than his shoulders that is Silver in color with Black streaks on the sides. His hair is rarely seen though by anyone as he spends most of the time draped in his cloak. The cloak is a dark black
Beneath the cloak, his face remains hidden as well but shows some show of the wear and tear of his past. His back is littered with scars from whip and cat-o-nine tails. He is very stubborn/defensive about letting anyone ever see/touch those. The muscles on his body have been excessively worked out as being both slave and warrior to the Crisis Tribe. He has very defined muscle and great strength. On his left are is red, laced up, leather arm guard that he bought shortly after leaving the remains of the tribe camp. It covers a Crisis ID Number (SLIME 872) burned into him by a warrior on the underside of his forearm. After his masters death he had this burned into the top of his forearm “_______________________________________ __” (I haven't decided yet what goes here) in elvish.
His clothes consist of a tough black boots that lead up to his calves. He has red leather pants with a Belt that holds his change purse, 2 pouches and his two Kamas on either side of him. His Tunic is a short sleeved and red. It has golden colored shoulder guards that extend just pass the end of his shoulders. The entire thing is leather but it is soft, malleable leather that moves. It finally reaches his neck with black shiny leather. There are 3 golden lightning bolts stitched into the tunic leading from the collar. Then there is the afore mentioned arm guard. It laces up on the both side and had a Celtic design silver moon on the underside and a Celtic golden sun on the top. Still Red in color but this piece unlike the parts of his garment is has an almost metallic shine to it. Finally, plain and simple black gloves that cover his hands.

Personality:
Having spent most of his life as a slave and being beaten he is very closed off and at times short on his temper.
Previous to his capture, he was a young kid who loved learning about the magic of the world and loved school in general. He lived just outside of the town where he was adopted from in a log cabin with his master. When not in school with his master, he was usually playing in the meadow by his home or running around in town with all the kids in town especially the orphanage kids.
His favorite person to be with was the much older Mara, who was the adopted daughter of the mistress of the orphanage. She was a human with flame red hair who helped her mother take care of the children. She was around 10 years old at the time of his adoption and had grown to the age of 20 by they time he was only 13 and taken away.
After the capture at 10 years old, he was forced to lift heavy loads such as weapons and barrels and was punished if done improperly.
Today, his life consists mainly of vengeance against Geezo. He is slightly cocky about his build and will work out if not surrounded by people so that he can go without his cloak. He cherishes his body knowing that it is by his hands that Geezo will fall. Being trained in magic for most of his life he has a quite decent intelligence but if he must fight most times he will do it close range and with his weapons. Although very proficient with a spear (slave weapon in the Crisis Tribe), he prefers his Kamas and once he is more skilled and better capable with is hands wishes to move up to twin curved sabers.

History:
Left on the steps of an orphanage in Racto. Racto is a medium sided city in that is a stopping point for almost every weary traveler in the area. It leads to an ocean, a meadow and other cities. It is a gateway.
In this orphanage, Mara and her mother Sici raised him until he was 3. A human magician that was seeking an apprentice then adopted him as his son as his young wife had been taken by illness.
The boy was raised just outside of town in a cabin in which the wizard lived. The boy learned the mysteries of the world. He learned of the creatures that inhabited the woods, the meadows, the oceans and underworld. He learned simple magic tricks and was taught that when the time was right he would be given the gifts of nature and sorcery. He also learned to read, to write, and how to do arithmetic. He received all the knowledge a child could want and more plus he had a loving father.
The child though short was well liked amongst the townsfolk and was usually found running around the streets playing. His father was in good standing with the town officials and was well liked by the people. Happiness would continue for many more years till the boy reached the age of 10 in human.
It was then that while out in the forest gathering some ingredient for spells that giant warriors from the Crisis Tribe came and took the poor boy and his father.
The Crisis Tribe was of low intelligence, and almost orc like humans with very closed off and superstitious minds. Their entire purpose was fighting, looting, plundering and kidnapping. They were notorious for wasting villages to reinforce their ranks. Their army consisted of slaves that had been taken from victorious battles and raids. They were a Nomadic Parasites. They’d live somewhere till it was sucked dry then move on.
The boy was small but was put to work almost immediately. He was to carry weapons to the slaves and bring food to the soldiers who rarely fought but instead used slaves as human shields and would clean up what got through. The Wizard knew that if he was to use any magic that these cretins would see it as witchcraft and burn both him and his son so there was nothing to do but wait for an opportunity.
Over the course of another 9 years the boy grew older and so did the man. The man taught the son what he could as far as continuing his magical training using mainly spells that were written the mud with a stick and would try to keep the flame of hope alive in the boy. Also throughout the many war waged, the slaves had come to except the “Sir” as he had come to have been know as their commander. They followed his orders and brought many victories to the Crisis Tribe, which was an unfortunate way to survive, but it was survival. Finally it happened one of tribe caught on.
Whilst in a battle the Second in Command, the Molag saw what was happening. Molag was a tribal name for the Wise Command. He was the intelligent man who could read and write and came up with war plans but couldn’t be leader because of no royal blood. This particular Molag’s name was Geezo. He is a 372lb, 6’9” monster of a man. His Black, Scorpion Hide battle gear seems to drip with the blood of the fallen. At his wrists are connected two five inch spikes and his helmet is bullet shaped with two long oxen horns pointing down. Finally, he had a dark patch over his left eye.
He saw the slaves were both taking commands and protecting the “old man.” Sir was about 70 by now and not capable of fighting but was still quick witted enough to tell those who were young what must be done to survive.
Geezo saw this as not only an insult but also a threat to the Tribe.
Later, after the battle had been fought and won thanks to the brilliant direction of Sir, the slaves were put back in their shackles to lick their wounds and try to recoup. As the moon peaked from behind the clouds, Geezo and 2 guards came to the slaves and took Sir. They unlocked him and took him not more than 20 feet away. The two soldiers held the old man by his arms as the boy stood up and walked as far as chains would let him. He look on in the pail moon light as Geezo raised his right spike and drove it into the heart of his father. The slaves screamed in horror as their leader fell on his face. The loudest scream was that of his son. Geezo walked off towards the tent of the soldiers and the king of the Crisis as he told the two guards to shut the slaves up.
The kid used every bit of strength he had and broke the chain as his captures were coming close he lunged and took the sword of one man and forced it into the other. Then broke the neck of the first guy. He threw the others the keys off of one of the bodies as he ran to his father with sword in hand. His father was dead. All he found was his father clutching 3 small jewels. All clear, 2 Triangles and 1 Diamond shaped.
The slaves had had enough and now it was time to end this. They all grabbed what they could as a weapon and went after the now drunken and passed out warriors. It was a slaughter.
The son went to one place, the tent of the chieftain cause that was where the Malog usually spent his time after a victory.
He Arrived at the tent, took a deep breath and with sword raised above his head ran into the tent to find the greatest surprise of all. The Chieftain slaughtered and I QUIT written in his blood on the maps on the table.
The child had been robbed of his vengeance for the day. The moon would not see the blood of the coward who killed an aging man. He pulled the clean clothes from the closet of the king and grabbed as much gold from his tent the he could inconspicuously carry/hide and wrapped it in a blanket. He went back to his father and pulled off the tattered rags of the father and adorned him in the ropes of a king. The Slaves built a fire alter of logs to send the body up. Sir’s body was lifted onto the alter and the son was handed a torch. A captured priest said a few words and gave the last rights. Finally the son set his father free.
The next day, many slaves had decided to loot the camp so that they might have a way of finding there way to a new home. The son had collected about 3500 gold pieces and was getting more from mourners of the loss. He made his way to the armory of the camp to look for anything of use on the journey he would now have to make. He was sick of spears. He was free now and spears were for slaves. Most of the swords were too big for his hands. He came across two small hooked weapons that reminded him of smaller versions of a farming tool he’d seen when he was a kid. They were light. They moved well and he could work with them. He still liked the swords but he figured he could get them later.
A week later, he was alone in the camp. He had stayed to practice and figure out where to go. He read the maps in the king’s chamber and tried to find a city that looked familiar. Over the course of the years many had been destroyed others had lost the luster they had before. He also tried to figure out where Geezo had gone, as seeing him dead was his main goal in life. He figured that Geezo would head northeast to a city that he couldn’t read the name of as blood was blocking it. That turned out to be a dead end but he was able to find a very good clothes maker and a tattoo artist.
His master has now been dead for one year making him around 20-21 and filled with vengeance and hate. Revenge would be his and his alone. It didn’t matter who or what got in his way. He would find Geezo and take his life as mercilessly as he had take his fathers’
Angel_Azriel
02-01-04, 03:19 AM I will say that this character certainly has depth. I will give you that.

However, that may be a little too much depth for a world other than one you develop yourself.

As far as the story goes, it had a lot to it, but it didn't grab me. You introduced a lot of people, some in a very awkward manner, and they seemed rather cold. If you want people to feel and understand the pain that this boy felt, you need to give the characters more than just a name and description. They need personality. It is assumed that Geezo is a viscious individual, but cite precident of when he has been especially cruel. He may have a tendency towards the Chinese "Torture of 1,000 cuts."

If you would like, I could revise this story for you to give your characters a serious depth in which you were trying to achieve. I promise not to profit from your brainchild.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Zoh Palsak of Spork 01-31-04, 10:32 PM	Simple easy way to put this. My old DM moved and i know that if I ever get back into this game I'm not going to have a DM who is so generous. So I created another character that met the restrictions of D&D but I want to see if it will fly. I've given him a Backstory, Name and other stuff I think is important to the furtherment of a story. Can someone tell where and if I can get this done? Sorry if I sound like a total newb but hey I kinda am.
arcady 01-31-04, 10:38 PM	This is going to be something you have to address individually with each DM you have. Every DM's game is a little different and you're best off making characters specifically for a given game after you've been invited to join rather than in isolation. The other option is to try DMing yourself. I did it on the third game I ever played, the second one that I knew was a roleplaying game (the first time I was visiting my step-cousin and he ran me through a module without explaining what the game was). I've been DMing ever since, for 22 years now. It's not all that hard, and the best way to learn is to just jump in. That's the best way to find a new game when you lose the old one - start it yourself.
Zoh Palsak of Spork 01-31-04, 11:03 PM	Thanks a lot. That's a big help. I would still like to see what people think about the character I made if anyone is interested just let me know and I'll PM him to you. Thanks.
arcady 01-31-04, 11:20 PM	You could just post it here.
Zoh Palsak of Spork 01-31-04, 11:57 PM	Character’s Name: Sisecant Yurop. Son of the Wizard Halenzo Wise. Player’s Name: Mark Sex: Male Height: 6’1” Weight: 203 Race: Elf/Human Age: 20 Job Class: War Mage Family: Father (Dead), Mother/Siblings (Unknown) Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Description: As a Half Elf, he has aged to about his 20th human year of life. He has hair a little longer than his shoulders that is Silver in color with Black streaks on the sides. His hair is rarely seen though by anyone as he spends most of the time draped in his cloak. The cloak is a dark black Beneath the cloak, his face remains hidden as well but shows some show of the wear and tear of his past. His back is littered with scars from whip and cat-o-nine tails. He is very stubborn/defensive about letting anyone ever see/touch those. The muscles on his body have been excessively worked out as being both slave and warrior to the Crisis Tribe. He has very defined muscle and great strength. On his left are is red, laced up, leather arm guard that he bought shortly after leaving the remains of the tribe camp. It covers a Crisis ID Number (SLIME 872) burned into him by a warrior on the underside of his forearm. After his masters death he had this burned into the top of his forearm “_______________________________________ __” (I haven't decided yet what goes here) in elvish. His clothes consist of a tough black boots that lead up to his calves. He has red leather pants with a Belt that holds his change purse, 2 pouches and his two Kamas on either side of him. His Tunic is a short sleeved and red. It has golden colored shoulder guards that extend just pass the end of his shoulders. The entire thing is leather but it is soft, malleable leather that moves. It finally reaches his neck with black shiny leather. There are 3 golden lightning bolts stitched into the tunic leading from the collar. Then there is the afore mentioned arm guard. It laces up on the both side and had a Celtic design silver moon on the underside and a Celtic golden sun on the top. Still Red in color but this piece unlike the parts of his garment is has an almost metallic shine to it. Finally, plain and simple black gloves that cover his hands. Personality: Having spent most of his life as a slave and being beaten he is very closed off and at times short on his temper. Previous to his capture, he was a young kid who loved learning about the magic of the world and loved school in general. He lived just outside of the town where he was adopted from in a log cabin with his master. When not in school with his master, he was usually playing in the meadow by his home or running around in town with all the kids in town especially the orphanage kids. His favorite person to be with was the much older Mara, who was the adopted daughter of the mistress of the orphanage. She was a human with flame red hair who helped her mother take care of the children. She was around 10 years old at the time of his adoption and had grown to the age of 20 by they time he was only 13 and taken away. After the capture at 10 years old, he was forced to lift heavy loads such as weapons and barrels and was punished if done improperly. Today, his life consists mainly of vengeance against Geezo. He is slightly cocky about his build and will work out if not surrounded by people so that he can go without his cloak. He cherishes his body knowing that it is by his hands that Geezo will fall. Being trained in magic for most of his life he has a quite decent intelligence but if he must fight most times he will do it close range and with his weapons. Although very proficient with a spear (slave weapon in the Crisis Tribe), he prefers his Kamas and once he is more skilled and better capable with is hands wishes to move up to twin curved sabers. History: Left on the steps of an orphanage in Racto. Racto is a medium sided city in that is a stopping point for almost every weary traveler in the area. It leads to an ocean, a meadow and other cities. It is a gateway. In this orphanage, Mara and her mother Sici raised him until he was 3. A human magician that was seeking an apprentice then adopted him as his son as his young wife had been taken by illness. The boy was raised just outside of town in a cabin in which the wizard lived. The boy learned the mysteries of the world. He learned of the creatures that inhabited the woods, the meadows, the oceans and underworld. He learned simple magic tricks and was taught that when the time was right he would be given the gifts of nature and sorcery. He also learned to read, to write, and how to do arithmetic. He received all the knowledge a child could want and more plus he had a loving father. The child though short was well liked amongst the townsfolk and was usually found running around the streets playing. His father was in good standing with the town officials and was well liked by the people. Happiness would continue for many more years till the boy reached the age of 10 in human. It was then that while out in the forest gathering some ingredient for spells that giant warriors from the Crisis Tribe came and took the poor boy and his father. The Crisis Tribe was of low intelligence, and almost orc like humans with very closed off and superstitious minds. Their entire purpose was fighting, looting, plundering and kidnapping. They were notorious for wasting villages to reinforce their ranks. Their army consisted of slaves that had been taken from victorious battles and raids. They were a Nomadic Parasites. They’d live somewhere till it was sucked dry then move on. The boy was small but was put to work almost immediately. He was to carry weapons to the slaves and bring food to the soldiers who rarely fought but instead used slaves as human shields and would clean up what got through. The Wizard knew that if he was to use any magic that these cretins would see it as witchcraft and burn both him and his son so there was nothing to do but wait for an opportunity. Over the course of another 9 years the boy grew older and so did the man. The man taught the son what he could as far as continuing his magical training using mainly spells that were written the mud with a stick and would try to keep the flame of hope alive in the boy. Also throughout the many war waged, the slaves had come to except the “Sir” as he had come to have been know as their commander. They followed his orders and brought many victories to the Crisis Tribe, which was an unfortunate way to survive, but it was survival. Finally it happened one of tribe caught on. Whilst in a battle the Second in Command, the Molag saw what was happening. Molag was a tribal name for the Wise Command. He was the intelligent man who could read and write and came up with war plans but couldn’t be leader because of no royal blood. This particular Molag’s name was Geezo. He is a 372lb, 6’9” monster of a man. His Black, Scorpion Hide battle gear seems to drip with the blood of the fallen. At his wrists are connected two five inch spikes and his helmet is bullet shaped with two long oxen horns pointing down. Finally, he had a dark patch over his left eye. He saw the slaves were both taking commands and protecting the “old man.” Sir was about 70 by now and not capable of fighting but was still quick witted enough to tell those who were young what must be done to survive. Geezo saw this as not only an insult but also a threat to the Tribe. Later, after the battle had been fought and won thanks to the brilliant direction of Sir, the slaves were put back in their shackles to lick their wounds and try to recoup. As the moon peaked from behind the clouds, Geezo and 2 guards came to the slaves and took Sir. They unlocked him and took him not more than 20 feet away. The two soldiers held the old man by his arms as the boy stood up and walked as far as chains would let him. He look on in the pail moon light as Geezo raised his right spike and drove it into the heart of his father. The slaves screamed in horror as their leader fell on his face. The loudest scream was that of his son. Geezo walked off towards the tent of the soldiers and the king of the Crisis as he told the two guards to shut the slaves up. The kid used every bit of strength he had and broke the chain as his captures were coming close he lunged and took the sword of one man and forced it into the other. Then broke the neck of the first guy. He threw the others the keys off of one of the bodies as he ran to his father with sword in hand. His father was dead. All he found was his father clutching 3 small jewels. All clear, 2 Triangles and 1 Diamond shaped. The slaves had had enough and now it was time to end this. They all grabbed what they could as a weapon and went after the now drunken and passed out warriors. It was a slaughter. The son went to one place, the tent of the chieftain cause that was where the Malog usually spent his time after a victory. He Arrived at the tent, took a deep breath and with sword raised above his head ran into the tent to find the greatest surprise of all. The Chieftain slaughtered and I QUIT written in his blood on the maps on the table. The child had been robbed of his vengeance for the day. The moon would not see the blood of the coward who killed an aging man. He pulled the clean clothes from the closet of the king and grabbed as much gold from his tent the he could inconspicuously carry/hide and wrapped it in a blanket. He went back to his father and pulled off the tattered rags of the father and adorned him in the ropes of a king. The Slaves built a fire alter of logs to send the body up. Sir’s body was lifted onto the alter and the son was handed a torch. A captured priest said a few words and gave the last rights. Finally the son set his father free. The next day, many slaves had decided to loot the camp so that they might have a way of finding there way to a new home. The son had collected about 3500 gold pieces and was getting more from mourners of the loss. He made his way to the armory of the camp to look for anything of use on the journey he would now have to make. He was sick of spears. He was free now and spears were for slaves. Most of the swords were too big for his hands. He came across two small hooked weapons that reminded him of smaller versions of a farming tool he’d seen when he was a kid. They were light. They moved well and he could work with them. He still liked the swords but he figured he could get them later. A week later, he was alone in the camp. He had stayed to practice and figure out where to go. He read the maps in the king’s chamber and tried to find a city that looked familiar. Over the course of the years many had been destroyed others had lost the luster they had before. He also tried to figure out where Geezo had gone, as seeing him dead was his main goal in life. He figured that Geezo would head northeast to a city that he couldn’t read the name of as blood was blocking it. That turned out to be a dead end but he was able to find a very good clothes maker and a tattoo artist. His master has now been dead for one year making him around 20-21 and filled with vengeance and hate. Revenge would be his and his alone. It didn’t matter who or what got in his way. He would find Geezo and take his life as mercilessly as he had take his fathers’
Angel_Azriel 02-01-04, 03:19 AM	I will say that this character certainly has depth. I will give you that. However, that may be a little too much depth for a world other than one you develop yourself. As far as the story goes, it had a lot to it, but it didn't grab me. You introduced a lot of people, some in a very awkward manner, and they seemed rather cold. If you want people to feel and understand the pain that this boy felt, you need to give the characters more than just a name and description. They need personality. It is assumed that Geezo is a viscious individual, but cite precident of when he has been especially cruel. He may have a tendency towards the Chinese "Torture of 1,000 cuts." If you would like, I could revise this story for you to give your characters a serious depth in which you were trying to achieve. I promise not to profit from your brainchild.