City of DnD (humour) [Archive] - Wizards Community

City of DnD (humour) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
skio
09-20-07, 05:55 PM Imagine this:

A modern city inhabited almost exclusively by DnD geeks...
How would things be in such a city?
Bacon and Eggs
09-20-07, 06:16 PM "Scented"
cat_god
09-20-07, 06:48 PM Groovy.
Dougan Axehammer
09-20-07, 08:18 PM Drive-by dice rolling. (A nat-20, a nat-20!!!)
Pen and paper gang fights.
Gangs called min/maxers, roll-players, role-players, etc.
One guy being the gaurds, merchants, mayor, etc.
Any movement (walking, running, swimming, whatever) is regulated to five-foot squares, six second rounds, and turn-based actions.
camthalion
09-20-07, 11:48 PM Rules Lawyers would get paid 100 bucks an hour, be universally despised, and necessary for almost any transaction with your DM.
Rania
09-21-07, 12:17 AM People would pray to their DMs; it would be the state (city?) religion.
Alex_P
09-21-07, 12:43 AM "Scented"You mean like this (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v518/malcolmcraig/Nonsense/convention.jpg)?

-- Alex
Dougan Axehammer
09-21-07, 02:14 AM Rules Lawyers would get paid *100 bucks an hour, be universally despised, and necessary for almost any transaction with your DM.

*Correction: 100 gold pieces.

Standard currency in the city would also be in copper, silver, and gold pieces too.

Paper moneys would not be accepted.

Folks go to strip malls to purchase "material components"; either that or brand new "law" supplements.
Ariath Ska'Vhor
09-21-07, 10:36 PM Dungeons will be built on the uninhabited outskirts of town and possibly deep underneath it and filled with hired people trained in combat and vicious animals of all sorts. Once a dungeon has grown old it will be demolished(or left behind, more mysterious that way. Ooeeooo!) and a new one will be made.
Artector
09-21-07, 10:42 PM Dungeons will be built on the uninhabited outskirts of town and possibly deep underneath it and filled with hired people trained in combat and vicious animals of all sorts. Once a dungeon has grown old it will be demolished(or left behind, more mysterious that way. Ooeeooo!) and a new one will be made.

What if its beaten? A new one's made?

Everyone would report their daily schedule to their DM, who in turn reports their actions to their DMs... and so on. And there'd be churches to Pelor and all the good dieties in the center of town. While below the extensive sewer network would house the evil cults and giant rats/alligators.
LordDraxcis
09-22-07, 01:32 PM totally awesome....except that everyone would starve to death.
Shadius
09-23-07, 01:50 AM Eh. All of that silly "agricultural" stuff would be imported from outsiders (affectionately referred to as "NPCs" by the locals).

Additionally; math exams would consist chiefly out of working out confusing rule conundrums.
Genevieve_Evernight
09-23-07, 01:58 AM Grocery stores would have whole aisles dedicated to Mountain Dew and Cheetos. :P

Friday nights would consist of going to a gaming store and having a mini-convention.
Dougan Axehammer
09-23-07, 02:42 AM totally awesome....except that everyone would starve to death.

There would also be new magic items enchanted with create food and water. :P
NecroticBanana
09-23-07, 03:02 AM Imagine this:

A modern city inhabited almost exclusively by DnD geeks...
How would things be in such a city?

...I would be a king amongst men...
camthalion
09-23-07, 07:53 AM Eh. All of that silly "agricultural" stuff would be imported from outsiders (affectionately referred to as "NPCs" by the locals).

Additionally; math exams would consist chiefly out of working out confusing rule conundrums.

In primary school, students would be told to 'bring their dice for math class' and assigned to review modules for English class. ... sorry 'Common' class.

...

The official language would be common but we will continue to argue about which words are considered common. While we sort that out, English will be common.
camthalion
09-23-07, 08:30 AM CHARACTER GENERATION:

(1) Everyone in town will be required to carry a 'character sheet' in their wallet at all times.

(2) People who agree to take place in weekly 'sessions' will be given a character sheet and told how to fill it in by their assigned DM with reference to assorted 'core books' ... dice may be involved.

(3) People from out of town or those wishing to reside in the town but who refuse to play (wives, for example) will have their 'stats' generated through a series of excruciating physical tests and a battery of aptitude tests. Charisma will be scored through an interview with a panel of DMs. Their character sheet will read 'NPC' in big red letters in the top right corner.

(4) Anyone asking why a 35 year old 5' 7" man weighing 212 pounds who lives largely on a diet consisting of Cheetos and Mountain Dew is considered healthier (has a higher constitution) than a twenty-something aerobics instructor will be angrily told to 'go google char gen' or 'read the PHB'. Asking a second time could result in legal action. Rules lawyers are expensive.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
skio 09-20-07, 05:55 PM	Imagine this: A modern city inhabited almost exclusively by DnD geeks... How would things be in such a city?
Bacon and Eggs 09-20-07, 06:16 PM	"Scented"
cat_god 09-20-07, 06:48 PM	Groovy.
Dougan Axehammer 09-20-07, 08:18 PM	Drive-by dice rolling. (A nat-20, a nat-20!!!) Pen and paper gang fights. Gangs called min/maxers, roll-players, role-players, etc. One guy being the gaurds, merchants, mayor, etc. Any movement (walking, running, swimming, whatever) is regulated to five-foot squares, six second rounds, and turn-based actions.
camthalion 09-20-07, 11:48 PM	Rules Lawyers would get paid 100 bucks an hour, be universally despised, and necessary for almost any transaction with your DM.
Rania 09-21-07, 12:17 AM	People would pray to their DMs; it would be the state (city?) religion.
Alex_P 09-21-07, 12:43 AM	"Scented"You mean like this (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v518/malcolmcraig/Nonsense/convention.jpg)? -- Alex
Dougan Axehammer 09-21-07, 02:14 AM	Rules Lawyers would get paid 100 bucks an hour, be universally despised, and necessary for almost any transaction with your DM. Correction: 100 gold pieces. Standard currency in the city would also be in copper, silver, and gold pieces too. Paper moneys would not be accepted. Folks go to strip malls to purchase "material components"; either that or brand new "law" supplements.
Ariath Ska'Vhor 09-21-07, 10:36 PM	Dungeons will be built on the uninhabited outskirts of town and possibly deep underneath it and filled with hired people trained in combat and vicious animals of all sorts. Once a dungeon has grown old it will be demolished(or left behind, more mysterious that way. Ooeeooo!) and a new one will be made.
Artector 09-21-07, 10:42 PM	Dungeons will be built on the uninhabited outskirts of town and possibly deep underneath it and filled with hired people trained in combat and vicious animals of all sorts. Once a dungeon has grown old it will be demolished(or left behind, more mysterious that way. Ooeeooo!) and a new one will be made. What if its beaten? A new one's made? Everyone would report their daily schedule to their DM, who in turn reports their actions to their DMs... and so on. And there'd be churches to Pelor and all the good dieties in the center of town. While below the extensive sewer network would house the evil cults and giant rats/alligators.
LordDraxcis 09-22-07, 01:32 PM	totally awesome....except that everyone would starve to death.
Shadius 09-23-07, 01:50 AM	Eh. All of that silly "agricultural" stuff would be imported from outsiders (affectionately referred to as "NPCs" by the locals). Additionally; math exams would consist chiefly out of working out confusing rule conundrums.
Genevieve_Evernight 09-23-07, 01:58 AM	Grocery stores would have whole aisles dedicated to Mountain Dew and Cheetos. :P Friday nights would consist of going to a gaming store and having a mini-convention.
Dougan Axehammer 09-23-07, 02:42 AM	totally awesome....except that everyone would starve to death. There would also be new magic items enchanted with create food and water. :P
NecroticBanana 09-23-07, 03:02 AM	Imagine this: A modern city inhabited almost exclusively by DnD geeks... How would things be in such a city? ...I would be a king amongst men...
camthalion 09-23-07, 07:53 AM	Eh. All of that silly "agricultural" stuff would be imported from outsiders (affectionately referred to as "NPCs" by the locals). Additionally; math exams would consist chiefly out of working out confusing rule conundrums. In primary school, students would be told to 'bring their dice for math class' and assigned to review modules for English class. ... sorry 'Common' class. ... The official language would be common but we will continue to argue about which words are considered common. While we sort that out, English will be common.
camthalion 09-23-07, 08:30 AM	CHARACTER GENERATION: (1) Everyone in town will be required to carry a 'character sheet' in their wallet at all times. (2) People who agree to take place in weekly 'sessions' will be given a character sheet and told how to fill it in by their assigned DM with reference to assorted 'core books' ... dice may be involved. (3) People from out of town or those wishing to reside in the town but who refuse to play (wives, for example) will have their 'stats' generated through a series of excruciating physical tests and a battery of aptitude tests. Charisma will be scored through an interview with a panel of DMs. Their character sheet will read 'NPC' in big red letters in the top right corner. (4) Anyone asking why a 35 year old 5' 7" man weighing 212 pounds who lives largely on a diet consisting of Cheetos and Mountain Dew is considered healthier (has a higher constitution) than a twenty-something aerobics instructor will be angrily told to 'go google char gen' or 'read the PHB'. Asking a second time could result in legal action. Rules lawyers are expensive.