Post/Author/DateTime	Post
gamer_mom 01-16-07, 05:31 PM	So my husband and I want to start playing D&D, but we're 30-somethings that don't really want to play with a bunch of teenagers (no offense intended). We met another couple down the road that are our same age and have kids the same age as ours, but they're not gamers. We've asked them out as a parents' night out and we want to ask them if they would want to play, but how would you broach the subject without looking weird?:lightbulb
Artifact 01-16-07, 05:57 PM	So my husband and I want to start playing D&D, but we're 30-somethings that don't really want to play with a bunch of teenagers (no offense intended). We met another couple down the road that are our same age and have kids the same age as ours, but they're not gamers. We've asked them out as a parents' night out and we want to ask them if they would want to play, but how would you broach the subject without looking weird?:lightbulb Just going by personal experience, its impossible to not look weird when bringing up RPGs with non-gamers. If you think they might be interested in the same kind of things however, then there's no harm in asking. I might start by saying something like: "Hey, what did you think of Lord of the Rings?" If they reply, "Huh?", well . . . ;). On the other hand, playing with teenagers isn't so bad; again, I speak from personal experience. Most of my player's are younger than me by twenty years or more. If you can hurdle the generation gap, and find a comfort zone, its very rewarding.
allenchan 01-16-07, 06:44 PM	If people in their mid-twenties are any easier at accepting, I'd suggest local colleges, if there are any (but assuming maturity is based on age is pretty dangerous). Another idea is trying to find similar people on the Gamer classified (on these forums) and places like it (paizo.com has one, off the top of my head, enworld probably does, too). You also might have some luck at social events like the SCA or Ren faires. I know lots of older gamers that travel those circles, but that might be a local thing. Good luck!
DarkNick 01-16-07, 07:17 PM	Just ask them. I don't think it is any weirder than asking if someone would like to go bowling.
Rivelstraz 01-16-07, 07:24 PM	Just ask them. I don't think it is any weirder than asking if someone would like to go bowling. Except bowling has never been involved with satanism, murders or similars. The classic bad and undeserved fame for RPGs. Perhaps asking about their hobbies could lead to you to talk about yours. Talk about D&D like if it was great (it certainly is) and they may become interested.
Herobane 01-16-07, 07:25 PM	So my husband and I want to start playing D&D, but we're 30-somethings that don't really want to play with a bunch of teenagers (no offense intended). We met another couple down the road that are our same age and have kids the same age as ours, but they're not gamers. We've asked them out as a parents' night out and we want to ask them if they would want to play, but how would you broach the subject without looking weird?:lightbulb We're not all that bad, I mean, I'm going on sixteen in April, sure, some of us can be downright stupid, or arrogant, but once you manage to find a nice group of us, we're not all bad. Take a look at my Gaming Group, we're most of the school's social misfits, so if someone doesn't fit in, or is thirty-something, or has three heads, or something like that, we're cool with it. P.S. Don't try to game with the smoking pit-dwellers! -H
Aliquid 01-16-07, 07:27 PM	If you think they might be interested in the same kind of things however, then there's no harm in asking. I might start by saying something like: "Hey, what did you think of Lord of the Rings?" If they reply, "Huh?", well . . . ;).Yeah, bring up similar subjects first. Do they like fantasy books, fantasy movies... etc. Do the ever play video games that are fantasy based? If they say no to all of the above, then don't even bother brining up D&D.
Bill Lumberg 01-16-07, 07:31 PM	I would try to let them know you play before you invite them to try it. Leave some of your game stuff out in the open to see if it generates any comments or reactions. If it does not elicit an unfavorable reaction then broach the subject at another time as an aside to a different topic. Ask the other couple if they have ever played chess against eachother and see if you can move the topic to other games like dominoes etc... As long as you don't come across like Amway salespeople it should be fine.
High Octane 01-16-07, 08:07 PM	Except bowling has never been involved with satanism, murders or similars. You never saw Bowling for Columbine?
SokenzanMarauder 01-16-07, 08:19 PM	You never saw Bowling for Columbine? Oh SNAP! :p Ehem, seriously though, I think that Bill Lumberg's example is exceptional among the ones suggested. It never hurts to be upfront, if they're really your friends they'll accept you playing it even if they don't want to play. -Gene
frasmage 01-16-07, 08:26 PM	You never saw Bowling for Columbine? :P well that certainly closes that debate Back to the OP, I get the impression you either don't know how to play yourself, or are just learning. What is inspiring you to try this great game now? Did you play when you were younger? Did you hear it was a good game from someone? Other friends? Your kids? I ask because you should be truthful to your friends. If you act totally phony, not only will you feel weird, but your friends will be less likely to take the bait. The best manner to start the conversation would be to just come out and say: "Ya know, I used to play this great game in college. Its been so long, but anyone want to try it?" You're going straight to the point and this is more likely to get an "alright, what is the game?" than if you tried digressing through LotR or something unrelated. I mean seriously, you are all mature adults, its not like your friends are likely to turn around and call you a nerd or anything. The most likely outcomes are the following: -"hey I played that too when I was young" -"I have heard about it, but never found out what it was" -"I have heard bad things about that game" in the latter case you might need to do some explaining about the fact that the vast majority of accusations against DnD were total propaganda, but otherwise you are set to play. Of course, explaining the game is a lot tougher! It is a fairly difficult concept to grasp at first. Trust me, I have tought many people about the game. I would suggest you get yourselves fairly fluent in your comprehension of the basic rules before you try to teach others. This page (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/whatisdnd) does a decent job of explaining the game good luck, and welcome to the game :)
BlackZed 01-16-07, 09:18 PM	I agree that being straightforward is probably going to be the best way to go about it. My husband and I lived apart during our engagement by about 200 miles, and only moved to my side of the mountains about 3 months ago. All of the gamers we knew were that 200 miles away, so we began tapping my friends to find gamers. So far, with a direct and blunt approach, we found that two of my friends (aged about 50) used to play back in 2nd edition and had never since found another group. We simply brought it into conversation as "Now that we've moved over here, it's hard to find people that play D&D." And hence, a group was born. We also introduced two of my younger friends (19 and 24) into it, using the same manner, and met with "what's D&D?" So we began tutor sessions (well, threw them into a game really).
Tyler Do'Urden 01-16-07, 09:23 PM	So my husband and I want to start playing D&D...You've just defined a goal for me, thank you. I would just bring it up. Don't be so concerned about weirdness, either they'll go for it or they won't. It's not like you're inviting them to an orgy.
High Octane 01-16-07, 09:49 PM	You've just defined a goal for me, thank you. You want to get your husband involved in D&D too Tyler?
a_psh 01-16-07, 10:05 PM	What attracts you to RPGs in general and D&D in particular? What previous experiences have you had? If you've already spent quite a while pouring over the books, what elements of D&D interest you most? How does gaming fit in with the rest of your life, time-wise? Are you going for a regular thing or just a few sessions to try it out?
mathogre 01-16-07, 10:07 PM	So my husband and I want to start playing D&D, but we're 30-somethings that don't really want to play with a bunch of teenagers (no offense intended). We met another couple down the road that are our same age and have kids the same age as ours, but they're not gamers. We've asked them out as a parents' night out and we want to ask them if they would want to play, but how would you broach the subject without looking weird?:lightbulb First, I think that's really cool you two are starting, and you're starting together. :w00t: I'm not quite two years into playing, and I'll hit 50 this year. My wife has no interest in it, and our 8 year old daughter shows little interest in it (though she does like the monster brass d20 I have). I recently broached the topic of playing with one of my neighbors. I thought it might be fun to have a neighborhood game. He's retired, but a geek at heart. He's a former programmer, intelligent, and has lots of free time. One night he and his wife were at our house. After awhile I broached the subject with him. I asked him if he'd ever have interest in playing an RPG. I described at a very high level what they are and how they work. I simply presented it as something cool to do, something one friend might show another. He immediately declined. Subject changed, never brought up again. You never know until you try. I think that when we're kids, friends are much more open to new and fun things. Some people grow old though, and it's a tragedy. May you and your husband never grow old. I'm not planning on it myself. Good luck with your neighbors. If that doesn't work, may you have good fortune finding gamers elsewhere.
Tyler Do'Urden 01-16-07, 10:30 PM	You want to get your husband involved in D&D too Tyler?You wish. I'll see you back at the house.
Pandaemoni 01-17-07, 12:31 AM	Personally, I'd simply reveal that you have an interest in teh game and gauge their reaction. If they seem receptive to the notion that it's fun game, invite them to play. If they seem wary of it, drop the subject. If you need people to play there are always the classifieds here on the boards or you see if there is a gaming group near you at Meetup.com (http://dnd.meetup.com/) or some similar site.
Asciiman 01-17-07, 03:39 AM	You've just defined a goal for me, thank you. I would just bring it up. Don't be so concerned about weirdness, either they'll go for it or they won't. It's not like you're inviting them to an orgy. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Asking someone to an orgy doesn't have to be weird.... I'm just saying that it doesn't HAVE to be. I'm sure it is, but it doesn't HAVE to be.
CharlieRock 01-17-07, 04:14 AM	About half the gamers I meet at the game store are over 30-ish. There is a bulletin board at mine ,too. For putting cards up to meet other gamers.
Sphyre 01-17-07, 05:04 AM	You've just defined a goal for me, thank you. I would just bring it up. Don't be so concerned about weirdness, either they'll go for it or they won't. It's not like you're inviting them to an orgy. You know. In some cultures, or in a ring of people with different values, inviting someone to an orgy could be just as acceptable or innappropriate as inviting someone to do other things, including playing D&D. If you bring up a subject of any invitation in confidence, and are not ashamed about it, then it shouldn't be a problem. Is playing D&D something you feel ashamed about doing? If it is, you may have some issues you have to work out and see whether you actually value your hobby of D&D or not. Beleive it or not, it almost sounds like it's being comfortable with your hobby, with a direct correlation to being comfortable with your sexuality. Would you rather be you? Or would you rather struggle your entire life trying to be what you perceive others want you to be?
VrecknidjX 01-17-07, 09:47 AM	Check their religion first! A Catholic kicked me in the... I won't say... just because he thought I wasn't a good, law-abiding citizen, all because I play D&D. D&D didn't make me that way. I was born that way. Anyways, make sure they aren't Catholic first. Then you should be good.Saying that Catholics don't like D&D is like saying D&D players are evil. Over-generalizations both. Dave
gamer_mom 01-17-07, 10:22 AM	What attracts you to RPGs in general and D&D in particular? What previous experiences have you had? If you've already spent quite a while pouring over the books, what elements of D&D interest you most? How does gaming fit in with the rest of your life, time-wise? Are you going for a regular thing or just a few sessions to try it out? First of all, thanks to all of you for the advice! To answer some of the questions: I played DnD when I was in high school with my uncle and cousins and enjoyed it very much. We played for a few years, but then we kids all grew up and left for college and I hadn't played since. A couple of weeks ago, I saw in the paper that there was going to be a little gaming convo in town and Larry Elmore was going to be there, so I told my husband "I know you don't know who Larry Elmore is, but I really want to go and see him and get is autograph". We went and talked to him for a few minutes (He's also from Kentucky,BTW) and I was pumped. I started reminising(sp?) about my old DnD days to my husband and he said that he'd never played, but had always wanted to. DINGDINGDINGDINGDING......JACKPOT! :dancin: The follwing weekend we bought the DnD Basic Game because I figured that would be a good way to start, he being a complete newbie and me being a bit rusty and not knowing all the new rules. We haven't played yet, but we've looked through the books and the minis and such and are both pretty excited. We'll definately play some this weeked. :bounce:
DrMorganes 01-17-07, 10:33 AM	Just a quick second on the "lots of gamers now days are in their 30s". Lots of us started when we were 8, 9, 10 or so and just brought it with us as we grew older. As an aside: gaming can be a fun family event. Nothing gets you in touch with your inner child faster than playing a make-belive game with an 8-year-old! Not only that, D&D helps improve math skills (addition, subtraction, statistics, etc), reinforces the concept of teamwork, and sneaky parents can use events in the game to deal with touchy subjects in real life.
High Octane 01-17-07, 10:57 AM	Check their religion first! A Catholic kicked me in the... I won't say... just because he thought I wasn't a good, law-abiding citizen, all because I play D&D. Kicks to the junk are remarkably against everything in that book the Catholics keep pointing at.
Aliquid 01-17-07, 11:16 AM	Saying that Catholics don't like D&D is like saying D&D players are evil. Over-generalizations both. DaveAin't that the truth. I have a gaming group where one player is an ordained priest, and another is a complete atheist.
High Octane 01-17-07, 11:31 AM	Ain't that the truth. I have a gaming group where one player is an ordained priest, and another is a complete atheist. D&D aside Im sure that results in some fun debates.
Tyler Do'Urden 01-17-07, 11:50 AM	I can't wait for Complete Atheist to come out.
Critical_Failure 01-17-07, 11:54 AM	Ain't that the truth. I have a gaming group where one player is an ordained priest, and another is a complete atheist. have you got any video footage?
Escef 01-17-07, 12:01 PM	Kicks to the junk are remarkably against everything in that book the Catholics keep pointing at. And so declareth the Lord: If thy neighbor beeth a gamer, or a roller of heathen dice, thou shalt striketh him in the junk with thine foot, and the prejudice of the Lord shall be with thee.
Aliquid 01-17-07, 12:15 PM	D&D aside Im sure that results in some fun debates.Real world religion never comes up as a topic of discussion.. Sometimes there are debates about moral issues relating to what our characters should or should not do. Neither of these people are jerks though, so it never turns into a heated debate. Typically it just goes to the concensus of the group.
Edymnion 01-17-07, 12:28 PM	Except bowling has never been involved with satanism, murders or similars. The classic bad and undeserved fame for RPGs.What kind of bowling have you been doing? Come over to my place sometime, I'll show you what bowling is REALLY about! ;) We've asked them out as a parents' night out and we want to ask them if they would want to play, but how would you broach the subject without looking weird?:lightbulbActually, my suggestion would be to invite them back over to your house, and just so happen to have the PHB laying out in plain site on the table. If they recognize it, you've already got your foot in the door. If they ask about it, there's your opening to start with "Oh, its a game, pretty fun one too" and see if they wanna give it a shot.
BlackZed 01-17-07, 12:50 PM	And so declareth the Lord: If thy neighbor beeth a gamer, or a roller of heathen dice, thou shalt striketh him in the junk with thine foot, and the prejudice of the Lord shall be with thee. I can go to work happy now. :bow: I have smiled my first smile of the day and laughed my first laugh.
Escef 01-17-07, 12:52 PM	I can go to work happy now. :bow: I have smiled my first smile of the day and laughed my first laugh. You're welcome, ma'am.
a_psh 01-17-07, 01:01 PM	Ah, okay... past experience. This is helpful. It means you can guide the flow of the game a bit. That all of you won't just be stumbling around in the dark. Honestly, just ask them? The other suggestions (about leaving your books out, &c.) also work if you're feeling rather unsure. If you want more specifics, here are some random thoughts... The dreaded first question ("What is an RPG?") The explanation that I find most newb-friendly while still being 100% correct is that RPGs are like board games with the added component of a shared fiction that you develop in play. Putting yourself out there is uncomfortable You're a bit uncomfortable going "Hey, wanna try this with me?" and that's perfectly natural. Now, imagine how your friends will feel trying this thing... same deal. A lot less comfortable than trying a board game or whatever, actually. Because you have to put yourself out there to play an RPG, to really share your ideas and imagnation with other people on a regular basis, and that can be daunting. So, be patient and don't expect grand things. Do expect a lot of joking around at first, because that's a socially safe way to put yourself out there. Playing every week As adults with kids and lives (and a precarious balance between kids and lives, sometimes ;) ), don't fall for the Campaign Fallacy! In other words, don't waste your time imagining how awesome and epic a game that goes on for 100 sessions could be -- make the most out of the session you're in right now! Especially at the beginning, take things one session at a time or one adventure at a time. Later, you may find yourselves drifting naturally towards longer arcs, and that's great and you should definitely go with the flow, but learn how to end the story when it's over. Basically, it boils down to this: play for today, not for tomorrow. You may also find that D&D works as part of a general game night, fitting in with lighter fare, whether it's board games, card games, other RPGs (there are some cute single-session-oriented ones out there, such as Breaking the Ice), maybe some fun little video games if y'all have a Wii, that kind of thing.
BlackZed 01-17-07, 01:26 PM	You're welcome, ma'am. You're now in my sig, with your permission.
Escef 01-17-07, 01:38 PM	You're now in my sig, with your permission. I wholly endorse this statement or product. :cool:
Boraxe 01-17-07, 01:53 PM	Don't get so worried about it. It's not like you're asking them to swap spouses or anything. Just ask them "So, did you ever play D&D?" and see where the conversation leads. If they are appaled, let it drop; if they are interested, go with it.
Artifact 01-17-07, 05:22 PM	Don't get so worried about it. It's not like you're asking them to swap spouses or anything. I honestly think she might have better luck asking them just that. According to an impromptue survey: There are more swingers in the world than there are gamers :D.
Boraxe 01-17-07, 05:27 PM	I honestly think she might have better luck asking them just that. According to an impromptue survey: There are more swingers in the world than there are gamers :D. That's cos D&D doesn't give you orgasms. Important Note: If there is anyone for whom this statement does not hold true I do not want to know about it.
Artifact 01-17-07, 05:35 PM	That's cos D&D doesn't give you orgasms. Important Note: If there is anyone for whom this statement does not hold true I do not want to know about it. Too late :D
High Octane 01-17-07, 05:46 PM	And so declareth the Lord: If thy neighbor beeth a gamer, or a roller of heathen dice, thou shalt striketh him in the junk with thine foot, and the prejudice of the Lord shall be with thee. Thats even funnier when spoken in the style of the priest from Monty Python and the Holy grail.
BlackZed 01-17-07, 06:03 PM	That's cos D&D doesn't give you orgasms. Important Note: If there is anyone for whom this statement does not hold true I do not want to know about it. Er.. Well, never on a first "date" anyway. :rofl: There are benefits to having your spouse be the DM.
High Octane 01-17-07, 06:05 PM	Er.. Well, never on a first "date" anyway. :rofl: There are benefits to having your spouse be the DM. At great personal risk, I must say "BOW CHIKKA WOW WOW!"
Solik 01-17-07, 06:17 PM	This honest thread created in the quest of seeking advice has become a strange creature full of win.
BlackZed 01-17-07, 06:26 PM	Well, a plethora of advice has been given, and now the thread has begun a strange and savage mutation. It's a natural process of evolution, and I'm sure there will be a few evolutionary throwbacks to the original subject matter. However, we are likely to see the emergence of an entirely new species.
Solaris 01-17-07, 06:43 PM	Come over to my place sometime, I'll show you what bowling is REALLY about! http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/3788/jesus01sg4.jpg Edymnion prepares to bowl.
Herobane 01-17-07, 07:57 PM	And so declareth the Lord: If thy neighbor beeth a gamer, or a roller of heathen dice, thou shalt striketh him in the junk with thine foot, and the prejudice of the Lord shall be with thee. All I have to say is : :D Placed in my signature...
Edymnion 01-17-07, 08:13 PM	http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/3788/jesus01sg4.jpg Edymnion prepares to bowl.http://www.shaftagents.com/bowler.jpg
High Octane 01-17-07, 11:33 PM	http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/3788/jesus01sg4.jpg Edymnion prepares to bowl. Yeah but hes a Pedorass.
Tyler Do'Urden 01-18-07, 01:12 AM	The Head of Carmine the Bowler: This glasteel sphere allegedly contains what remains of the great and powerful Carmine the Bowler; his skull. It is widely reknowned as the fastest, the most accurate, and all around the most powerful bowling ball in the known universe, capable of picking up the 7/10 split without its wielder even looking. In addition to dealing damage as a Large +5 collision returning orc shotput, the wielder of the head can invoke the spirit of Carmine to strike down a group of creatures with a single powerful throw. As a standard action, the wielder makes a single melee or ranged attack (whichever's higher) which deals damage to all creatures in a 30 ft. cone originating from the wielder as well as knocking them prone. A successful Reflex save (DC = total attack roll) halves the damage and negates the knockdown effect. If every creature in the area fails the save, the damage is doubled. The wielder of the head of Carmine the Bowler may use this ability up to five times per day. Strong metacreativity; ML 20th; Weight 15 lbs. *cough*
Boraxe 01-18-07, 01:29 PM	http://www.shaftagents.com/bowler.jpg Am I the only one who thinks Janeane Garofalo is seriously hot?
Boraxe 01-18-07, 01:32 PM	The Head of Carmine the Bowler: This glasteel sphere allegedly contains what remains of the great and powerful Carmine the Bowler; his skull. It is widely reknowned as the fastest, the most accurate, and all around the most powerful bowling ball in the known universe, capable of picking up the 7/10 split without its wielder even looking. In addition to dealing damage as a Large +5 collision orc shotput... Way back in the 1e AD&D I had a PC half-ogre named Slobb the Large who used to throw bowling balls at people. He carried a sack of them on his belt. With a high enough roll he was able to pick off multiple opponents with good aim and rebounds, "picking up the 7/10 goblin split" as we called it. This item would be deadly in his rather huge hands. Good times...good times...
freedeath 01-18-07, 01:40 PM	Am I the only one who thinks Janeane Garofalo is seriously hot? Nope. Except when in a bad movie with Uma Thurman. Uma's gonna marry me. And eat cake.
metamind 01-18-07, 03:41 PM	Am I the only one who thinks Janeane Garofalo is seriously hot? Yes. You are.
Elvez4ever 01-22-07, 08:43 PM	And so declareth the Lord: If thy neighbor beeth a gamer, or a roller of heathen dice, thou shalt striketh him in the junk with thine foot, and the prejudice of the Lord shall be with thee. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Soooooooooo going in my sig!!!
PhaedrusXY 01-22-07, 09:28 PM	Wow. This is approaching the title of "BEST THREAD EVAR!".
devinmdp 01-22-07, 09:30 PM	Here's how you do it: Step #1: Approach said couple Step #2: Act sheepish and say "Hey, we were just kind of wondering if...you know...you two might be up for doing something a little out of the ordinary with my wife and me" Step #3: Watch them squirm and completely misinterpret what you mean. Step #4: Say "No no no! We mean....you know....involving fantasy....and role playing. Step #5: Really watch them squirm as they further misinterpret what you mean. Step #6: Say "No really....you've got it all wrong! I mean the sort of playing that takes place in a dungeon." Step #7; Watch them run screaming into the night. Devin
gamer_mom 01-22-07, 09:38 PM	Here's how you do it: Step #1: Approach said couple Step #2: Act sheepish and say "Hey, we were just kind of wondering if...you know...you two might be up for doing something a little out of the ordinary with my wife and me" Step #3: Watch them squirm and completely misinterpret what you mean. Step #4: Say "No no no! We mean....you know....involving fantasy....and role playing. Step #5: Really watch them squirm as they further misinterpret what you mean. Step #6: Say "No really....you've got it all wrong! I mean the sort of playing that takes place in a dungeon." Step #7; Watch them run screaming into the night. Devin :heehee
Moebius 01-22-07, 10:18 PM	We haven't played yet, but we've looked through the books and the minis and such and are both pretty excited. We'll definately play some this weeked. :bounce: so how did it go?! :confused:
Fencerboy 01-22-07, 10:26 PM	:rofl: Might I say I got some serious hilarity (?) out of this thread. There isn't much advice I can give you except that really alot of teenagers might be uncomfortable (no offense) with playing D&D with adults if they aren't already good friends. I should know, I just turned 14. I know you were saying you want a somewhat older crowd, and I applaud that. :rant: And to the rest of you jerks, you can be a practicing catholic and strong in your faith and still play D&D fully and completely. /:rant:
Herobane 01-23-07, 12:03 AM	And to the rest of you jerks, you can be a practicing catholic and strong in your faith and still play D&D fully and completely. :rofl:
Fencerboy 01-23-07, 11:26 AM	Herobane, for all your claims to accept wierd and different people into your group, you seem remarkably prejudiced against catholics (although I suppose I can't blame you to much, that was a pretty "low blow" you took). Some of us are fine though, and don't want to hear all this crap going around about us. (Although I must say again that I laughed forever reading some of this) So basically I am defending my religion out of obligation, but I really enjoyed the material on this thread (most of it) Call me a hypocrit, ok?
gamer_mom 01-23-07, 11:34 AM	so how did it go?! :confused: Well, my husband loved the game. I still wonder if he could sit for 4-6 hours playing a "real" session, but he says he thinks he could if there were enough snacks.:) We haven't had the date with the other couple yet, but we saw them at a birthday party our daughters were invited to and he mentioned to them that we played DnD the night before and did they ever play. He said he got a cool response so we probably won't be playing with them. It's cool, though. We can do other stuff with them and find some real gamers to play with.:cool: This has been a very entertaining thread. I'll have to post my quandries more often!:D
blackrogue 01-23-07, 05:15 PM	How can you not look weird by bringing up DnD? lol. My grandmother is a strict pentacostal and hates the thing. She thinks only satanists play that game Gotta love the old lady.;)
High Octane 01-23-07, 05:30 PM	Here's how you do it: Step #1: Approach said couple Step #2: Act sheepish and say "Hey, we were just kind of wondering if...you know...you two might be up for doing something a little out of the ordinary with my wife and me" Step #3: Watch them squirm and completely misinterpret what you mean. Step #4: Say "No no no! We mean....you know....involving fantasy....and role playing. Step #5: Really watch them squirm as they further misinterpret what you mean. Step #6: Say "No really....you've got it all wrong! I mean the sort of playing that takes place in a dungeon." Step #7; Watch them run screaming into the night. Devin "And the best part is, everyone can play a man or a woman and just for fun we can throw a couple of dwarves in.....where are you going?"
KJW 01-23-07, 05:30 PM	Well as there are no fears of being too off tangent in this thread, I will also suggest you check the thread on solo campaigns in my signature. That can be a great help for when you just have a DM and a player, which is very common among many gaming couples. :)
a_psh 01-23-07, 05:55 PM	Well, my husband loved the game. I still wonder if he could sit for 4-6 hours playing a "real" session, but he says he thinks he could if there were enough snacks.:)Shorter sessions are quite doable, mind. Especially with a smaller group, plenty can be accomplished in 2-3 hours. For the longer games, what I generally focus on is intergrating it with our other social activities a bit: a lot of conversation, some TV or Internet stuff here or there, a short break to snack and relax, that kind of thing -- the social purpose commonly served by ordering pizza in the stereotypical game, in other words. (In short: it's a social experience, so have fun being social in whatever way you want!) I recall someone's discussion of "lunchbreak D&D," wherein the players were all very focused on a specific (battle-heavy but fog-of-war-light) style of play and quite willing to let the GM handwave all the unimportant decisions away for them.
jortax 01-23-07, 08:17 PM	I was still laughing at I can't wait for Complete Atheist to come out. When I got hit by And so declareth the Lord: If thy neighbor beeth a gamer, or a roller of heathen dice, thou shalt striketh him in the junk with thine foot, and the prejudice of the Lord shall be with thee. Laughed way too loud and everyone in the office looked at me.
FreAkOuTRG 01-23-07, 08:38 PM	Tyler... I can't put any more of your quotes in my sig... People might get jealous... Forgive me?
gamer_mom 01-24-07, 09:42 AM	Well as there are no fears of being too off tangent in this thread, I will also suggest you check the thread on solo campaigns in my signature. That can be a great help for when you just have a DM and a player, which is very common among many gaming couples. :) Thanks, really a lot of info. Are there many pre-fab adventure modules for a solo game? Although I've played (a long time ago), I've never DMed before and I'd like to start out with something like that until I get the hang of it.
Sphyre 01-24-07, 09:47 AM	So basically I am defending my religion out of obligation, but I really enjoyed the material on this thread (most of it) Call me a hypocrit, ok? You claim to be catholic, right? You aren't obligated to defend your religion because of your religion. That's your own choice. There is nothing in the catholic demonstrates that says if someone pokes fun at your religion that you have to devoutly defend it. Rather it does imply that you should beleive in it, even if you would be persecuted for it. It says you should be ignorant, not zealous. :tongue: And the lord sayeth unto thee, do not beleive thine neighbors if they roll heathen dice, for thou hast been bestowed mental immunities from all logic. Let the ignorance of the lord be with thee as thou shakeths his finger shamingly at thine gaming neighbor.
KJW 01-24-07, 12:28 PM	Thanks, really a lot of info. Are there many pre-fab adventure modules for a solo game? Although I've played (a long time ago), I've never DMed before and I'd like to start out with something like that until I get the hang of it. The only published solo adventures I know of are from Expeditious Retreat Press (http://www.xrpshop.citymax.com/page/page/2561954.htm). You can also get them as PDFs from most sites that sell roleplaying PDFs. That said, my wife just uses free adventures from this site and gets help from one of the regular contributors to the solo campaign thread (Ormiss). You can post questions (or an adventure idea) in that thread or PM one of us for help and we can probably help you adjust or get an adventure up and running in no time. Hope that helps!
gamer_mom 01-24-07, 01:30 PM	Thanks, KJW! I hadn't thought of just running solo adventures as an option, but I think that would be the perfect way to get us up to speed with everything. Then if we find a gaming group to join, we won't be clueless.:D
Tyler Do'Urden 01-24-07, 01:40 PM	Forgive me?Whatever. The movie Crank is a good solo adventure. Everybody but that dude is NPCs.
Ninja_Sensei 01-24-07, 02:43 PM	Just shy of 50 and still having fun after getting started in the late 70's... I'd suggest being both open and casual about it. Most of the people in my office (especially my direct reports) know I play these games (my 82-year-old mother still asks "Do you till play those silly games?" ;) ), none of them think any the less of me (as far as I know). Do I bring it up in conversations? Not really, unless we are talking about like sibjects ("What about the LotR films? etc), but I certainly don't hide it. Perhaps something along the lines of what has already been suggested: "Y'know, I got such a charge out of playing D&D in school and taking hubby to meet Larry Elmore at that local convention was such a rush!!! Remember sweetie?" I find if you engage them in the conversation it helps to gauge their interest and allows you to plot a furthering of probing for interest or a quick escape route without too much loss of face. Good luck with it!
Arkonth 01-24-07, 03:27 PM	My extremely religious grandmother was desensitized by my cousin who LARPS (Equinox if anyone's heard of/does it). Somehow, simplifying it all down to "running around in the woods with fake swords" made it acceptable, and it was an easy transition to "it's just like what Shana does but we sit down with dice instead!" Frankly, I don't know why this worked, but she simply accepted it at face value and didn't make any issue, despite having initially extremely bad opinions.
mlund 01-24-07, 03:42 PM	I don't know about your area, but my area RPGA meetings have a lot more folks in the 20-50 age range than the 8-19 one. You may find the largest local gathering for Living Greyhawk or Living Arcanis to be an invaluable resource for accessing networks for adult gamers. - Marty Lund
Moebius 01-24-07, 09:17 PM	Thanks, really a lot of info. Are there many pre-fab adventure modules for a solo game? Although I've played (a long time ago), I've never DMed before and I'd like to start out with something like that until I get the hang of it. I just started DMing as well and found Scourge of the Howling Horde (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=products/dndacc/953827400) noobie-friendly. Its made for first time DMs as well as 1st Level characters.
StevenO 01-26-07, 12:21 AM	I'd also go with the "Just ask them" approach. You may never know but maybe they've been struggling with the same question about you.
High Octane 01-26-07, 12:04 PM	Start off with a joke. "Hey lets play a game. You guys up for Russian roulette?" "What??" "Or we could play Dungeons and Dragons. Seems comparativly mild now doesnt it?
Renvale999 01-26-07, 01:30 PM	It really depends on where you live if you're gonna find gamers, like North Dakota..no so much. But Northern California, you can't go 5 feet without meeting a gamer, I'm serious. I remember, when I lived in Arkansas (I was 17, I'm 26 now) I met a guy at work (McDonalds) who said he just got done playing AD&D, told me all about it. All my friends were standing there and they just starting laughing at him. I remember laughing too, but feeling really bad cause I was really interested in it and trying to listen to him. Two years later I joined the military, found a gaming group and never looked back. Point is it REALLY depends on where you live if you're going to find gamers or even if the local community accepts it. PS. On my first trip back home after joining the military I went and tracked the kid down that I had laughed at and apologized. Told him I was gamer and we've been in contact every since.