Critique my game world "Exodus" [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTimePost
perogy1

03-09-06, 04:46 PM
I am looking for a critique of the world I have finished making for an upcoming came I will be DMing.

It's called "Exodus".

The full text and character introduction can be found at:
http://www.mts.net/~slip23/dnd/Exodus.htm

The synopsis and spoilers:

* Vicious red dragon is king of several continents.

* Red dragon has horde stolen and goes insane from its loss.

* Dragon delves into dimensional travel magic and accidentally creates a link to the Far Realm.

* The contact with the Far Realm causes several entities to cross over into the world’s history at multiple time periods.

* Aberrations are created, in particular the mind flayers.

* The Rhunvala are created and their learning centres created in places of power across the globe.

* The gods are destroyed early in the world’s history as a direct result of contact with the denizens of the Far Realm.

* Time passes.

* The dragon believes that if he cannot find the thieves he will show them all. He decides to become a god.

* To further this goal he must create a vast portal that will consume the life on the world to complete his ascension to godhood.

* The Rhunvala are a major problem and he creates a disease (gained from contact with the Far Realm) that wipes them out.
* The Rhunvala transform into the Drow except for a few.

* Dragon destroys one continent (with Rhunvala temple) cause migration of people to the main continent where the largest temple is located.

* Enslaves the people. Enlists the help of the Mindflayers to control the slaves.

* Dragon takes a Mindflayer consort (!!).

* Creates another disease that affects the dwarves. They are more resilient but succumb nonetheless.

* Starts the destruction of two more island/continents. More people arrive to
the main continent. As the boats arrive the people are enslaved. The building of a gargantuan portal on the main continent is started. The other islands that are “destroyed” are converted into fiery portal points and wastelands themselves.

* A ship is separated and then diverted to one of the last Rhunvala temples.

* An ancient mindflayer finds where the remaining Rhunvala are hiding and takes the place of one of the elves.

* The remaining Rhunvala are awoken by the continent survivors.

* They have cure to change Drow back into pure elves and for the disease but do not have the manpower. The new inhabitants wish to help in exchange for the vast amounts of knowledge available. Must wait 20 or so years for a generation of people to be available.

* The mindflayer has an idea of what is going on with the rest of the world and has his own plans, but no army to do his will. Having the other elves and inhabitants fooled, he waits and builds his army.

* The Dragon’s mindflayer consort has her own plans. She will kill the dragon when the portal is to be opened and redirect her future people (Mindflayers rule the universe in the far future but are beaten back. See book Lords of Madness) to the present to rule this world and have a portal staging ground.
There are two remaining temples (pentagram design with the main temple in the centre) on other islands and a host of other islands.

* There are Halflings who can grow to medium or large creatures for short periods of time that are on one of the islands. Think medieval Japan (Edo era, similar to the movie Shogun). They protect their temple but live an isolationist existence.

* Last temple is on another continent of great evil and strangeness.
There is taint and Far Realm incursions all over the planet causing aberration issues as result of the Red Dragon’s experiments.

* The goal of the players is to find out what is occurring and stop the world from being destroyed.

* I have the beginning and the end written. Still have the creamy filling to complete (adventuring).

* They will have a chance to visit the hells and heavens (or what is left of them).

What do you guys and girls think?