| Post/Author/DateTime | Post |
|---|---|
| LuckyDragon03-04-07, 06:15 PM | For those who are involved in the dating scene, when and how to you reveal yourself to be a gamer? I usually let the women I date find out on their own. They usually piece things together after they see my shelf full of hardcover game material. What have other peoples' experience in this area been? |
| Krusk03-04-07, 06:31 PM | My girlfriend found out after a month or so i think? when i told her online "hey im gonna go play dnd tonight, so ill talk to you tommorow or late tonight." I don't really see it as something you have to take people aside and make a big deal of. To me that always turns out like this, "Hey honey can we talk for a min?" "yeah whats up?" "hey, i dont know how to tell you this so im going to come out and say it. I like to watch movies. " "oh.... well i think we might have to break up...." there really isnt a diffrence, between playing dnd and any other form of recreation so it shouldn't be treated like there is. |
| LuckyDragon03-04-07, 06:49 PM | My girlfriend found out after a month or so i think? when i told her online "hey im gonna go play dnd tonight, so ill talk to you tommorow or late tonight." I don't really see it as something you have to take people aside and make a big deal of. To me that always turns out like this, "Hey honey can we talk for a min?" "yeah whats up?" "hey, i dont know how to tell you this so im going to come out and say it. I like to watch movies. " "oh.... well i think we might have to break up...." there really isnt a diffrence, between playing dnd and any other form of recreation so it shouldn't be treated like there is. While I agree there is no real difference between D&D and other activities, most women I have met do not (the kind of girls I like are usually about as far from gamers as you can get). I have found some women are cool with it, and others are freaked out. I am not justifying their behavior, but I have learned that many people in society will form negative judgements about you when they learn you are a gamer. |
| Archangel_James03-04-07, 06:59 PM | The trick is to present yourself in a way that, when the gal finds out, she says, "Really? You? I thought D&D was for geeks; I guess I was wrong," instead of, "I freaking knew it! I knew you were one of those creepy nerds!" |
| OneEye58903-04-07, 07:39 PM | My girlfriend found out after about three months or so. I never really hid it from her. I did somewhat, because my ex-crush would nag me about it, so I just never told her if I was going to play, I just said I was going to do something. Finally after I went to a friend's house, she asked me what we did, and the answer, as it was all we did, was D&D. She asked what it was, I told her, and she wanted to play. |
| ClementWillowbreaker03-04-07, 07:39 PM | "Yep, honey, now you know my dirty secret. I sit down at a table with my geeky male friends, drink Jolt, eat junk food, and have random outbursts of funny stories/references while the most-dedicated of the bunch tries to salvage his efforts to plan an interesting narrative and wargame. But since I love you so much, I am going to try to learn to go to bars, get hammered, and try to sleep with sorority girls half my age behind your back like a normal guy." Gaming is a pretty innocuous hobby. The fact you met and got a date with the girl in the first place means you have successfully avoided becoming a stereotype. |
| DarkNick03-04-07, 07:41 PM | If you don't make a big deal about it, and they like you then there should not be any problems. If they are the sort of person that will freak out about it then you don't exactly have a future - it either means that they are not that into you or are blinded by their misconceptions (or both). In either case they are not worth the effort. Chances are if they like you but have reservations about gamers they will get you to explain what it is about and everything will be good. If they are not that into you then at least you have a good chance of scaring them off early. You can only win by telling them. If you're like me, roleplaying games are a big piece of my life. They are my biggest escape from the daily grind, a chance to be with friends, what I daydream about. I read fantasy and sci fi books and like movies of that kind. There is no point trying to hide it. |
| _SIN_03-04-07, 07:58 PM | Playing D&D and dating works a treat!!...... IF you know how..... I do the "Sorry hun, can't do tonight, I'm playing D&D with the lads..." and wait for the inevitable..... "WFT is Dee and Dee???..." "Well sweetie, remember when you dressed up as a nurse for me last week?..... Well, it's kinda like that..... Just no nurses.......... Nurses are strictly reserved for Thursday's 'Big Eyes, Small Mouth' game....." That's usually enough to either ward off any potential questioning or if you're lucky, generate some interest!! |
| cloudncali03-04-07, 08:15 PM | lol my Girlfreind ASKED to play dnd with my group. ^_^ |
| vampiresskitten0303-04-07, 08:57 PM | I met my fiance' at my moms and we went to this party together. I started dating and living with him and I love D&D and so does he so we don't care about it. The best thing is to be completely honest and open to that person. If you don't then maybe she will hide something from you. If you are not open with your communication and trust, then you will not have a fully satisfying relationship... ~Liz~ __________________ *They tell me I'm a dork and I just laugh* |
| _SIN_03-04-07, 09:09 PM | If you are not open with your communication and trust, then you will not have a fully satisfying relationship... This is true. I find it much more satisfying when I point out from the start that I'm only interested in S.....:D |
| Sphyre03-04-07, 09:36 PM | Confidence. I'm a very accepting person of other people's lifestyles. I enjoy my life. D&D is one of my hobbies that I enjoy. I don't care what anyone else thinks about my playing of the game. Their ignorance is their own problem. I don't want a girl who is ignorant. I've never had a problem with dating. If someone doesn't like me after they learn the fact that I play D&D then that just makes me learn that much sooner that she isn't right for me. (At least in theory... I've never met a girl that thought negatively of my after she learned that I play D&D) Besides, I'll bring it back to the first word I said. Confidence. I'm confident in my ability to acheive and am very self-assured. To many women this is an aphrodisiac stronger than any preconceived notions people may have about you. Vin Diesel plays D&D too. Do you think he could "get chicks?" Yeah. It has nothing to do with D&D and everything to do with YOU. And how many times have you heard about women who try to change someone bad for them, rather than find someone who they say is right for them? It's more about what's RIGHT about a person, than what's supposedly wrong about them. |
| HomebrewedMonster03-04-07, 09:51 PM | I met my soon to be wife at the gaming table. :D |
| _SIN_03-04-07, 09:55 PM | I met my soon to be wife at the gaming table. :D Congrats mate.... But I do believe they're called 'civil partnerships'.... Oh, and pass on the congrats to John!....lol |
| Bulabase03-04-07, 10:25 PM | A lot of the issue comes from how much you play. Once, maybe twice a week and it's just like playing darts or poker with the guys. Four or five times and it starts to look wierd to a non-gamer. Either way, because of the stereotype, it's beter to keep it private until you know eachother a bit better. The "You play D&D response," mentioned earlier is a good thing. I don't confine this approach to intimate relationships myself. I never mention D&D to anyone and few people outside my family or gaming friends know I play. It's just easier that way. Another thing for the OP: How much do you like gaming? Because if you like it a lot, you might want to reconsider this whole dating thing. Go on a few dates, pretty soon you will be in a committed relationship, then you will get engaged and married and before long, you will have a whole bunch of kids and no time to game. Think about it. |
| Francius03-04-07, 10:35 PM | I don't have a girlfriend at the moment but anyhow I never mentioned to the previous ones that I was a role playing gamer. I think it's such a minor issue being one that the woman would conceive it the same way as if you had told her:"you know what?I sometimes gather with my buddies and we play scrabble over beer and pizza". |
| Ciradin03-04-07, 10:37 PM | I wouldn't know. I've never had date. |
| Drodain03-04-07, 10:46 PM | I'm sorry Ciradin. I don't really make it a point to tell my girlfriends. They know I like to play video games and hang out with my guy friends at times. If one of them ever asks, "So what do you and your friends do while your gone." I would just say "We sit around and play video games, or DnD. Really just whatever we're in the mood for." I don't make it a big deal because it's not. I don't mind her hanging out with her friends and shopping which I frankly find much weirder than playing DnD so why should she care? |
| samusco03-05-07, 12:03 AM | I know a few girls, and I'm getting them into D&D, but one of girls is a lesbian... but the other two are safe to go with. And the weird thing is they're all pretty good looking. But I would say MOST girls don't really care to much about guys playing D&D. So I wouldn't worry about it to much. |
| ktgodstgarden03-05-07, 02:36 AM | I only date gamers! Yeah, I'm lucky... I know attractive, nerdy girls... |
| Tichondrus03-05-07, 02:41 AM | My personal experience: "I'm going with a few friends, wanna come?" "Depends, what are you gonna do?" "Roleplay" "means?" -after a short explanation and a brief example game- "Sure, who'll DM?" with my seccond gf: "Let's play?" "Sure" she liked the idea since she was a tolkien fan =p My advice is to let it go by and tell her if she wants to join. It's just like basketball "I'll go play, baibai" or "Wanna come" in the worst of cases (or the best in my case) |
| LCD2YOU03-05-07, 08:48 AM | I wouldn't know. I've never had date.Yeah. It seems the terms "D&D" and "Dating" combined in the same sentence strikes people like "Military" and "Intelligence" or worse yet, "Congress" and "Oversight". But really, I just tell them. I don't think it's a problem for someone if they like you and they are worth it. Face it, if someone wants to "mold you into something better", they're not into you. What they're looking for is a spineless worm they can control. Like this quote:"Yep, honey, now you know my dirty secret. I sit down at a table with my geeky male friends, drink Jolt, eat junk food, and have random outbursts of funny stories/references while the most-dedicated of the bunch tries to salvage his efforts to plan an interesting narrative and wargame. But since I love you so much, I am going to try to learn to go to bars, get hammered, and try to sleep with sorority girls half my age behind your back like a normal guy." If she complains about D&D, just say you're going to play some pool at the bar and you'll be home later. Oops, gotta go. My significant other wants to speak to me, now. |
| LuckyDragon03-05-07, 09:20 AM | I only date gamers! Yeah, I'm lucky... I know attractive, nerdy girls... There are attractive nerdy girls? |
| Renvale99903-05-07, 09:59 AM | I told my girlfriend and at first she was a little freaked, but then she found out that two of her uncles play and then it was cool. She doesn't play cause she doesn't have the imagination for it, and the fact that her mom would disown her. But atleast she's supportive of me. |
| Nidair03-05-07, 10:00 AM | Playing D&D and dating works a treat!!...... IF you know how..... I do the "Sorry hun, can't do tonight, I'm playing D&D with the lads..." and wait for the inevitable..... "WFT is Dee and Dee???..." "Well sweetie, remember when you dressed up as a nurse for me last week?..... Well, it's kinda like that..... Just no nurses.......... Nurses are strictly reserved for Thursday's 'Big Eyes, Small Mouth' game....." That's usually enough to either ward off any potential questioning or if you're lucky, generate some interest!! A BESM version of Live Action RP? That's not even a bad idea.... except for all the Sephiroth-wannabees, that is. |
| Praesul03-05-07, 10:22 AM | I'm married partially in thanks to D&D. My best friend, a player in my campaign of 10+ years, met a girl and introduced me to her sister. She was impressed by my apparent talent for DMing, which was part of the reason we ended up together. She really liked how I could think on my feet and tell a story with little to no preparation beforehand. Now the four of us get together weekly to play D&D, as two married couples. Anyhow, if D&D is something you really enjoy I think it would be best to find someone else who really enjoys it so you can continue to enjoy it in the future. At least share it with your significant other so they have an opportunity to try it out, if they want. Telling someone you play D&D as if it was a drug addiction isn't going to make them any more accepting or open to it. Hiding it from them will just scare them. Be open, if you're not truthful about who you are and what you love to do you'll just end up in an unhappy relationship. |
| DoctorRomulus03-05-07, 10:22 AM | Honesty is the best policy as they say. Do your thing, and if she asks tell her if not let her find out on her own. If she freaks out because you play a game involving paper, dice and snacks you're better off without her. Because if she freaks out over a game, your life with her will be miserable. Not because of D&D but because she'll freak out over anything that doesn't settle into her little world. OR she'll be working real hard to mold you into what she wants you to do or be. I've seen many guys fall into this and it's really sad to watch a person become someones marionette. I know this can be an extreme case but I've seen it too many times. |
| DoctorRomulus03-05-07, 10:26 AM | There are attractive nerdy girls? Yes there are. And not just attractive, but HOT!! At my job there's this domincan chick and let's just say "inappropriate" doesn't begin to describe my thoughts about her. :D |
| Seghan03-05-07, 10:27 AM | I will only date girls if I have a good in game reason to... jk, I usually just let them find out naturally. Much as Archangel_James said, the "wow what a stereotype breaking revelation" recation tends to have a good outcome. |
| Montravont03-05-07, 10:58 AM | There are attractive nerdy girls? Indeed there are. *also only dates gamers. My current girlfriend and many of the other females we game with are all in the "DAMN!!" category. |
| greyhaze03-05-07, 11:29 AM | I'm a closet gamer, I tell no one... doh! ignore this post. Ok, seriously, I'm not upfront about it and I have gotten the "oh, you play d&d, I didn't think you were the type..." many many times. I don't hide it though. It's just something that I happen to do, and I try to not let it overrun my life. |
| StormKnight03-05-07, 11:47 AM | I think concealing my gaming from my girlfriend was pretty much doomed from the point where our first conversation involved her asking if she could borrow some of my Eldar army since hers wasn't assembled yet. |
| DarkNick03-05-07, 02:55 PM | I've never understood 'dating'. We just don't do it in my country. You will never here someone here saying "we are on our second date". Instead we 'hang out' or 'go out' like you do with friends. Maybe it is simply a difference of terms, but I get the feeling that people in my country 'date' less as in go out at a special set aside time to meet for dinner or whatever, and just simply co-hangout more. Kind of like simply including them in what you normaly do instead of creating a special occasion to meet. Things are a little less formalised. For example, compared to the TV show "Friends" where one of them will go on a 'date' then report back to the group, if they were in my country that 'date' would most likely be sitting there with the group, hanging out right from the start. So instead of asking someone to go to the movies/dinner/cofee you are more likely to hear "We always go to this coffee shop on fridays, want to come?" or "I'm playing dnd on sat, want to join in?" Maybe I just watch too much american tv... |
| Aggrenox03-05-07, 03:09 PM | I am upfront with it at the begining. First Girl = Not pleased. But she hooked up with me any way. I played once every other week and that was "taking all of my time". Needless to say, I didn't stay with her long. You should never have to change things about yourself or what you enjoy for someone else, as long as what you do isn't destructive in any way. Other girl friends have had different oppinions, but the current girl that I spend my diplomacy checks on, is very supportive, and for my birthday last year she bought me a CASE of DND minis. ^_^ |
| Ryusage03-05-07, 03:39 PM | The girl I'm currently dating knew I played D&D before we started going out. It just doesn't bother most people. If the person you're dating makes a big deal out of it, then maybe that's not the kind of person you should be with in the first place. |
| Nom03-05-07, 08:03 PM | My now wife brought it up shortly after we started dating: "so, tell me more about this 'role-playing' thing". She's played in various groups with me ever since. |
| Giant_Moth03-05-07, 08:32 PM | Here's my advice: Don't let it be the first thing you tell her. Impress her with your personality, make her interested, THEN maybe if the situation arises, you acn tell her you're a gamer. |
| theotherdraxen03-05-07, 08:42 PM | For those who are involved in the dating scene, when and how to you reveal yourself to be a gamer? I usually let the women I date find out on their own. They usually piece things together after they see my shelf full of hardcover game material. What have other peoples' experience in this area been? During small-talk, even if you haven't had a single date yet. If they're too closed-minded to accept you being a D&D player, why would you want to date them in the first place? |
| Singer_of_the_Song03-05-07, 11:18 PM | lol my Girlfreind ASKED to play dnd with my group. ^_^ Same. And she's by no means a gamer or a nerd. She wanted to get to know about this thing that is such a huge chunk of my interests. |
| Singer_of_the_Song03-05-07, 11:19 PM | I've never understood 'dating'. We just don't do it in my country. You will never here someone here saying "we are on our second date". Instead we 'hang out' or 'go out' like you do with friends. Maybe it is simply a difference of terms, but I get the feeling that people in my country 'date' less as in go out at a special set aside time to meet for dinner or whatever, and just simply co-hangout more. Kind of like simply including them in what you normaly do instead of creating a special occasion to meet. Things are a little less formalised. Which country? |
| LuckyDragon03-05-07, 11:20 PM | During small-talk, even if you haven't had a single date yet. If they're too closed-minded to accept you being a D&D player, why would you want to date them in the first place? I dont care about the size of a woman's mind (in fact the less there is in that department the better). If she is hot, I could care less what she thinks about D&D. |
| Scavelock03-05-07, 11:29 PM | I guess I must live in an alternate universe, but outside of high school, I have never met anyone who cared whether or not I played DnD. If it ever comes up, usually people will ask how to play and say they're curious. |
| Bullshido03-05-07, 11:34 PM | In my experience, genuine babes don't care for guys who play D&D. I don't let them know for a while. But then, I usually date strippers (they are not so open minded about nerdy hobbies). |
| Coridan03-05-07, 11:39 PM | It's generally a pre-req for any guy or girl I wanna date with. And I prefer people who are also into it (not that I haven't dated those who aren't). It's good to have things you can do together that you both enjoy and since I tend to D&D 3 times a week, any guy or girl would have to be able to put up with it. |
| TheDarkLord03-05-07, 11:46 PM | During High school senior year I had a girlfreind (referred to from here on out as skank) break up with me because I played DnD. After I got done with a football game I was supposed to go over to a friends house to play a good 8 hour night session. The Skank caught me after the game and wanted to go to a party, I said she could but I had other plans. The skank got ****** and asked me what I was doing so I told her. She then told me she was through with me and that she didn't sleep with nerds. Now, I know what the typical "nerd" looks like, but I was a 230 LB Offensive/Defensive Tackle who already had a four year football scholarship and regularly trained with weights. Needless to say I wasn't a nerd. Once it got around school I played DnD with my friends I only had to defend my position a couple of times (Read lockerroom brawl) before people backed off and quit saying anything. Once I got into college it didn't matter any more (I defended my position once in the lockerroom after a practice, but after that it was cool). My wife whom I met in college didn't know what the game was, nor did she care at the time we met. During my sophmore year in college she finally gave it a try. She turned into one of the most bloodthirsty barbarians I have ever seen. The older you get it seems people are more accepting of what you do because they also have their "Dirty Little Secrets" (I am in no way implying DnD is a dirty little secret). |
| kelvinaw27303-06-07, 02:31 AM | I met my now ex-wife because of gaming - she frequented the house of the person who hosted our regular White Wolf game at the time. She got into the concept watching us, and eventually asked to join in. My last g/f had never heard of RPGs, and was intrigued at the idea, but we split before I could take it further. |
| High Octane03-06-07, 04:06 AM | Well I better type fast before this thread gets locked. Anyway, heres the thing: If your target is going to not date you just because you plkay D&D, they arent worth dating. That said, you shouldnt make it your opening statement on a date. "Hi. Im Jake/John/Joe/J-Harold. I play Dungeons and Dragons!!" Its a hobby. You dont have to talk about it if the other party isnt interested. You would be surprised about how many people just dont give a flying fart that you play D&D. In that case, just dont talk about it. Dont be ashamed of it or deny it, just dont talk about it. It will only annoy them. Edit: and for crying out loud if you hold the standard that your partner must be a D&D player you are going to have some serious issues with dating. Hate to tell everyone, but generally speaking D&D has a male to female ratio of at least 2 to 1. Probably more. Thats not to say a girl CANT game (they sure as hell can, the few girls Ive seen play were mostly very good roleplayers) or WONT game, but they are less LIKELY to. Be realistic and dont expect your perfect match have to be part of a very small minority of the women out there (you should realize less than 5% of the general population of the US plays D&D anyway). What you CAN and SHOULD expect out of a date is someone who is understanding of your playing and accepts that its nothing more than a social game to play with friends. If the person you want to date plays D&D thats definitely a PLUS, but it shouldnt be a REQUIREMENT! Otherwise you are counting out 97% of all women in this country and 99% of all women on earth. |
| bellhooks03-06-07, 11:02 AM | Is it OK for women to be attracted to beautiful men? Doesn't matter. The forces of patriarcy control perception of beauty in our society. |
| Singer_of_the_Song03-06-07, 12:48 PM | When our notion of what makes a woman beautiful is shaped by the conservative forces in the media, then we have a serious problem.The sexist, misogynist, patriarchal ways of thinking and behaving that are glorified in the media (and I might add D&D) are a reflection of the prevailing values in our society, values created and sustained by white supremacist capitalist patriarchy. As the crudest and most brutal expression of sexism, misogynistic attitudes tend to be portrayed by the dominant culture as an expression of male deviance. In reality they are part of a sexist continuum, necessary for the maintenance of patriarchal social order. While patriarchy and sexism continue to be the political and cultural norm in our society, feminist movement has created a climate where crude expressions of male domination are called into question, especially if they are made by men in power. The perception of beautiful women should shift so that they can be allowed to have 15-25 pounds more. Those women are hotter. Regardless, the Wiz_O's are going to lock this thread soon. |
| Arrowhen03-06-07, 12:54 PM | Doesn't matter. The forces of patriarcy control perception of beauty in our society. Hmm. What about ugly women? Can we be attracted to those? |
| TheDarkLord03-06-07, 01:03 PM | I love my wife and treat her as an Equal in all ways, but this is the largest load of crap I have ever heard. When our notion of what makes a woman beautiful is shaped by the conservative forces in the media, then we have a serious problem. First off, the Media isn't conservative, it's overtly liberal in it's bias. And what makes a woman beautiful isn't the media. It's a chemical drive inside of ourselves that determine what we are attracted too. I myself don't like anorexic blond women. I like my women filled out and preferrably brunette. Paris hilton doesn't do it for me. The sexist, misogynist, patriarchal ways of thinking and behaving that are glorified in the media (and I might add D&D) are a reflection of the prevailing values in our society, values created and sustained by white supremacist capitalist patriarchy. Ok, this right here proves you are an uneducated liberal biased college student. The utter stupidity that flows through this sentance is absolutely amazing. The way of thinking and behaving of todays men when it comes to women differ very little from say tribes from Africa, or from other countries such as china or japan. White supremacist have nothing to do with which way a man finds a woman attractive. Capitalist just find what a majority of men like and then use it to sell something. They do the same with women, the find the hunkiest guy to sell something as well. That in and of itself is not sexism in the least. Yeah... I'm going to leave this alone for now. I have other things I have to take care of. |
| zvbxrpl03-06-07, 01:17 PM | Ok, getting this thread back on track (hopefully). My ex-girlfriend actually asked me to teach her to play. We broke up before her interest in learning got anywhere, though. It's probably for the best though; her grasp on reality was...let's be nice and say tenuous. She asked if I would die for her (wait for it) on the SECOND DATE! I waited for her to break up with me rather than to do so myself, because I was too worried she'd do something overtly crazy. She described her dead pet bird as "like a brother to me." I guess she'd make a good druid, then...:P |
| Arrowhen03-06-07, 02:08 PM | Back on topic, I wouldn't "reveal" that I play D&D, because it's not something I feel I have to hide. I'd mention it the way I would any other hobby or interest: whenever the subject of hobbies and interests came up in conversation. |
| Stormbrand03-06-07, 02:33 PM | Women are not objects or toys. To possess such a view is an act of intellectual violence. You are only reinforcing the bonds of patriarchal oppression. This comment I am actually willing to accept. Here you had a point, if expressed badly. I am a strong believer in chivalry and I make damn sure to treat women respectfully. What you were responding to I was thinking of saying 'that's enough' to. Doesn't matter. The forces of patriarcy control perception of beauty in our society. When our notion of what makes a woman beautiful is shaped by the conservative forces in the media, then we have a serious problem.The sexist, misogynist, patriarchal ways of thinking and behaving that are glorified in the media (and I might add D&D) are a reflection of the prevailing values in our society, values created and sustained by white supremacist capitalist patriarchy. As the crudest and most brutal expression of sexism, misogynistic attitudes tend to be portrayed by the dominant culture as an expression of male deviance. In reality they are part of a sexist continuum, necessary for the maintenance of patriarchal social order. While patriarchy and sexism continue to be the political and cultural norm in our society, feminist movement has created a climate where crude expressions of male domination are called into question, especially if they are made by men in power. This however, is called female chauvenism. The world is not driven by sexism, patriarchy is not the political or cultural norm. Mysogyny is only tolerated in a small number of downright barbaric cultures. There is no sexist continuum, nor a patriarchal social order to be maintained. Equal rights have been achieved. There is no male domination. The very concept of dating demonstrates that women are treated as equals, since it is based on a mutual interest. If you have a problem with this, I invite you to PM me. Now, for me, D&D is just one of my interests. Usually low on the list, because I get more chance to do sword training and fantasy writing than roleplaying in general, but I have nothing hide. |
| bellhooks03-06-07, 04:03 PM | I love my wife and treat her as an Equal in all ways, but this is the largest load of crap I have ever heard. First off, the Media isn't conservative, it's overtly liberal in it's bias. And what makes a woman beautiful isn't the media. It's a chemical drive inside of ourselves that determine what we are attracted too. I myself don't like anorexic blond women. I like my women filled out and preferrably brunette. Paris hilton doesn't do it for me. Ok, this right here proves you are an uneducated liberal biased college student. The utter stupidity that flows through this sentance is absolutely amazing. The way of thinking and behaving of todays men when it comes to women differ very little from say tribes from Africa, or from other countries such as china or japan. White supremacist have nothing to do with which way a man finds a woman attractive. Capitalist just find what a majority of men like and then use it to sell something. They do the same with women, the find the hunkiest guy to sell something as well. That in and of itself is not sexism in the least. Yeah... I'm going to leave this alone for now. I have other things I have to take care of. But the media is conservative. It may adopt a liberal posture, but if you examine the depictions of women in the media you will see they present a view of female sexuality that is very conservative. Its so insidious because the media uses transgressive language and images in order to promote a conservative patriarchal agenda. Actually I teach at the college level. And am very respected in my field. |
| freedeath03-06-07, 04:30 PM | I teach at the college level. And am very respected in my field. It seems that people living a life of academia are sheltered and out of touch with reality. What is respected in an institutional fishbowl does not always translate into equal respect when applied to society as a whole. Feminist propaganda seems more directed at female superiority rather than equality, and the age at which most students attend college is the perfect time to radicalize students toward a particular agenda. |
| Arrowhen03-06-07, 05:01 PM | You never answered my question. Is it OK to be attracted to ugly women? |
| bellhooks03-06-07, 05:05 PM | You never answered my question. Is it OK to be attracted to ugly women? There is no such thing as an ugly woman. |
| freedeath03-06-07, 05:07 PM | There is no such thing as an ugly woman. What about ugly men? You must believe they exist, as your anti-patriarchal theories imply. |
| bellhooks03-06-07, 05:10 PM | What about ugly men? You must believe they exist.... Masculinity, in its current state, is ugly. Only when the new "feminist masculinity" takes hold, will this change. |
| High Octane03-06-07, 05:12 PM | Doesn't matter. The forces of patriarcy control perception of beauty in our society. OH NO! We have been exposed! Our secret meetings to decide how we keep the womenfolk down will now have no effect! We're meeeeeeelllltiiiiing........ |
| Bullshido03-06-07, 05:14 PM | Masculinity, in its current state, is ugly. Only when the new "feminist masculinity" takes hold, will this change. You mean when men all agree collectively to hand everything over to women? You don't want equality, you just want to have reverse sexism. |
| High Octane03-06-07, 05:16 PM | You mean when men all agree collectively to hand everything over to women? You don't want equality, you just want to have reverse sexism. Women want everyone to be equal. They just want to be more equal then men. Animal Farm is so appropriate. Since we have pigs fighting cows. |
| Arrowhen03-06-07, 05:19 PM | There is no such thing as an ugly woman. Ok, so all women are equally attractive. Does that mean we have to be equally attracted to all of them? |
| bellhooks03-06-07, 05:20 PM | Ok, so all women are equally attractive. Does that mean we have to be equally attracted to all of them? It means you should start paying more attention to women's minds and less attention to their physical qualities. |
| Arrowhen03-06-07, 05:22 PM | Women want everyone to be equal. They just want to be more equal then men. Animal Farm is so appropriate. Since we have pigs fighting cows. Nah, that's just silly. It's just as ridiculous to say all women are like that as it is to say all men are sexist pigs. For the record, I respect, admire, and (I'm not afraid to admit) am attracted to strong, capable, independent women. Which is why I utterly detest feminism. |
| freedeath03-06-07, 05:23 PM | Masculinity, in its current state, is ugly. Only when the new "feminist masculinity" takes hold, will this change. :rolleyes: OK, I'm done; once a post causes milk to come out of my nose, it can't be taken seriously. Beware of dogma. |
| Arrowhen03-06-07, 05:23 PM | It means you should start paying more attention to women's minds and less attention to their physical qualities. A ha! How the hell do you presume to tell me what I think is beautiful? |
| Arrowhen03-06-07, 05:24 PM | :rolleyes: OK, I'm done; once a post causes milk to come out of my nose, it can't be taken seriously. Beware of dogma. That's what you get for drinking milk, you bovine-oppressing male. |
| freedeath03-06-07, 05:26 PM | That's what you get for drinking milk, you bovine-oppressing male. Who said it was cow's milk?:D |
| Bullshido03-06-07, 05:26 PM | That's what you get for drinking milk, you bovine-oppressing male. :rofl: |
| Arrowhen03-06-07, 05:34 PM | Who said it was cow's milk?:D Ah, crap. I guess I just assumed it was cow's milk because that's what the conservative patriarchal media would have me believe. I knew I should have gone to college. |
| Drodain03-06-07, 05:38 PM | I wasn't gonna get into this because frankly I think this is just idiotic, but I think it is funny that you believe yourself to be utterly right because you are a respected professor. Unfortunately you are only respected in your field, which I am guessing is about female oppression in which your views would be respected. Our society is not perfect but its getting close unfortunately white males are the closest to being oppressed, not women, not minorities. (DID HE JUST SAY THAT?!) Anyways, bellhooks just stop talking. When you try to tell me that I should not ever look at a woman physically I understand why but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Physical beauty should take a small role in deciding who you are attracted to. It is not wrong for it to be part of the whole thing though. Also I found it entirely hilarious that you are waiting for men to become more feminine. I think we have reached a good point. I like the mix of masculinity and femininity I have. Don't mess with that balance I have and don't try to force me to or anyone else to change theirs. You have the right to voice your opinions and I respect your thoughts but DO NOT try to tell me how to think. |
| High Octane03-06-07, 08:25 PM | I wasn't gonna get into this because frankly I think this is just idiotic, but I think it is funny that you believe yourself to be utterly right because you are a respected professor. Unfortunately you are only respected in your field, which I am guessing is about female oppression in which your views would be respected. Our society is not perfect but its getting close unfortunately white males are the closest to being oppressed, not women, not minorities. (DID HE JUST SAY THAT?!) Anyways, bellhooks just stop talking. When you try to tell me that I should not ever look at a woman physically I understand why but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Physical beauty should take a small role in deciding who you are attracted to. It is not wrong for it to be part of the whole thing though. Also I found it entirely hilarious that you are waiting for men to become more feminine. I think we have reached a good point. I like the mix of masculinity and femininity I have. Don't mess with that balance I have and don't try to force me to or anyone else to change theirs. You have the right to voice your opinions and I respect your thoughts but DO NOT try to tell me how to think. Let me say this. Asking someone, ANYONE, male or female, to not judge on physical beauty, is a lot like saying "DONT EVER GET HUNGRY!" To quote George Carlin, beneath the primate brain is a mammalian brain, and beneath the mammalian brain is the basic reptillian brain and in order for the top 2 to function the base one must also. And if you for one SECOND believe that women are not guilty of judging based on looks, you are DEAD wrong. They judge men as well on physical beauty, and for crying out loud they also judge OTHER WOMEN on physical beauty. Ever seen a cheerleader clique in high school? They are far more judgemental on physical beauty than ANY man in that school. People will base some of their opinion on physical beauty, and other physical traits. Its happened since the dawn of time and I dont see man evolving beyond that until they stop having corporeal bodies. |
| Never_On_Time03-06-07, 08:33 PM | Study: Kindergarten kids listened two teachers reading very similar stories. Both were excellent readers and when , I believe, stories were changed and tapes were played they were rated very similarly. One was very pretty and the other was quite ugly. They both went into classrooms and read stories. After they left, the kids wre asked to rate them. Kindergarteners. Naturally, the pretty teaher was rated much higher. oi] |
| Bullshido03-06-07, 08:42 PM | Study: Kindergarten kids listened two teachers reading very similar stories. Both were excellent readers and when , I believe, stories were changed and tapes were played they were rated very similarly. One was very pretty and the other was quite ugly. They both went into classrooms and read stories. After they left, the kids wre asked to rate them. Kindergarteners. Naturally, the pretty teaher was rated much higher. oi] Now bellhooks will go after the Kindergaterners |
| AngelofCthulhu03-06-07, 09:04 PM | Now bellhooks will go after the Kindergaterners Or the Bell Witch. |
| WizO_Cat03-06-07, 09:53 PM | Ok, this thread has gotten sextist and personal way too fast. Keep this type of discussion off of the boards and keep it to the discussion of Dungeons and Dragons. Don't look so surprised, because you know what I'm going to do ... |