D&D Fiction: Please take a glance at this short story [Archive] - Wizards Community

D&D Fiction: Please take a glance at this short story [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Kevtar
02-15-06, 06:34 PM Hi all,

My son, who is 15, just wrote a great short-story about one of their adventures in The Lord of the Iron Fortress, and I wanted to 'show it off' a bit. He did a great job.

I thought I could post it somewhere on the Forum. Is there a place for D&D fiction? Anyway, I'll post it below and move it later if necessary. If you get a chance, please give it a read and let him know what you think. He is very interested in the reactions from the members of the D&D forum.

Thanks!

Recently, I ran "The Lord of the Iron Fortress" for my sons' group. My oldest son, who is 15, decided to write about the party's encounter in the "Bolts from the Blue" section of the module. The following is his vignette (and, needless to say, I'm really proud of his writing!)

The Elemental Plane of Law
The sensation of planar travel was still buzzing in our minds as we exited the portal into the Elemental Plane of Law. As we regained our composure, we were amazed at the stillness and silence of a world without chaos. We were further startled to find that we could see our surroundings with the clarity of midday. The sky was black and filled with enormous cubes, about the size of a small moon, which would float around and occasionally bounce into each other creating a faint clinking noise. We then realized that these cubes were made completely out of steel, even the one on which we stood. We began walking and taking note of the peculiar geometric landforms of the many floating cubes, including our own.

The only sound was the occasional “clang” of the extra-planar satellites and the metallic ringing of our footsteps as we plodded along our course. After hours of travel we came to a peculiar mountain range which was seemingly out-of-place on this bleak metallic cube. The jagged “rocks” of steel were actually enormous rifts in the metallic landscape that soared miles high and seemed to be intentionally placed in this location. Eventually, we discovered a sparkling cave of steel; another surprise. Yet the biggest surprise of our venture was the incredible pile of treasure heaped in gigantic loads in the far end of the dark cave.

The metallic cave glowed with the brilliance of gems, and a shimmering luster of weapons and armor scattered across the horde. As the word horde entered my mind, my eyes grew wide at the realization of our folly. At that very moment, Draconis Mortem (the legendary great sword strapped to my back, forged with a deep, intense, hatred for Dragonkind) began to vibrate and moan its dreary war song. My companions recognized the sound as well, as it is a warning of the approach of the world’s most feared and respected beast. I instinctively spun around staring into the menacing presence of a huge blue dragon, his mate, and their offspring.

They were magnificent… Their scales were like deep sapphires shimmering in the dim light of the cave. Their eyes glistened with hatred, and a small hint of fear of the weapon I now held in my hands. Without a moment’s hesitation, my youngest companion Thore, a stripling barbarian from the plains of Kyrtchea, let out a roar and sent his huge, magical war hammer flying through the air towards the male dragon’s gaping maw. In that instant, my dear friend Dar’ruesh Eetradyes, a refuge Drow Elf, began calling upon the supernatural abilities of his druidic faith. I just smiled and charged ahead towards the three monsters, scattering gold and trinkets all along my path. Swinging wildly, but with surety, Draconis Mortem bit deep into the armor-like scales of the female dragon. The dragons anticipated the attack and reacted with the lighting speed and alacrity that only dragons are capable of. The huge male deftly evaded the barbarian’s mad toss, and opened his enormous mouth. Suddenly I knew our situation had just gone from very bad, to very, very bad, as a stream of crackling lightning blasted the young boy and left him grievously scarred and burned.

Fortunately, the Drow had finished his incantation causing razor-sharp, jagged rocks to burst through the surface of the cube in a twenty foot radius. The stones deeply lacerated the soft under belly of the she-dragon and her son. Infuriated, the male focused his next blast squarely upon my friend. Lightning seared his skin, and left his body a steaming heap in the midst of the treasure. Miraculously, Thore had survived his scorching, and was back on his feet. However, at the supposed loss of his friend Dar’ruesh, Thore summoned the legendary and powerful ability of the barbarians to fly into a frenzied, berserker rage. With his arms bulging with superhuman strength, he raised his mighty war hammer, which had magically returned to his white knuckled grasp, and smashed the colossal claw of the mighty male dragon.

Thore felt bones break beneath scales, and he swung again and again. I, seeing Dar’ruesh collapse in field of frenetic electrical energy, stealthily advanced towards the female dragon implicitly trusting the properties of my enchanted armor that rendered me completely invisible to this particular breed of dragon. I strode towards the beast and, in a massive leap, sprung up towards the female dragon’s neck. The sword, seemingly of its own volition, beheaded the blue majestic menace.

Unexpectedly, a small purple cloud began to manifest itself behind the remaining dragon and his son. The cloud then solidified into Gryfalchyn Silvermane, a gnomish companion of mine from previous adventures. “Man, that was one heck of a bar fight! I’m so glad I’ve escaped that place to find myself… face-to-face with a juvenile blue dragon…!” the blue youngling lunged at him with snapping jaws, cutting the gnome’s exclamation short. Quickly, yet calmly, Gryfalchyn uttered an ancient arcane phrase causing his hand to glow with a curious violet glow as he reached to touch the vicious blue dragon. To the utter astonishment of the dragon (and the pleasure of Gryfalchyn) the dragon found itself uncontrollably foot-shuffling and tapping to an unheard beat. “Ha-Ha!! I love that spell!” laughed Gryfalchyn gleefully as he walked around the helpless, dancing dragon.

Unnoticed at the rear of the cave, the charred, steaming, body of Dar’ruesh Eetraydes slowly rose to its feet. His eyes resonating with a faint, red glow pulled a golden figurine resembling two fierce lions from the folds of his cloak. The statuette magically transformed into a pair of golden lions which, at their master’s word, began to attack the male dragon. As his pets advanced, Dar’ruesh’s hands flew to his sheathed scimitars at his hips. In his left, he now held a scimitar wreathed in magical flame and in his right a black, shimmering artifact of sickening and tremendous power: The Black Razor. This fierce weapon is said to have the ability to drink the very life-force from any living creature, giving the strength of its victim to its wielder. Wielding these two deadly, whirling blades he ran to the dragon and mercilessly slashed the colossal creature with deep, scorched cuts.

Overwhelmed by the loss of its mate, and the ferocity exhibited by the Drow and his whirling, stinging blades, the dragon turned to flee towards the mouth of the cave. The lions, now climbing up its back, clawed and bit as they struggled subdue the deadly beast. Dar’ruesh desperately called out to Thore and me as we pursued the beast. As the dragon began its retreat, we hatched a daring plan. With all our strength, we launch our companion into the air. Dar’ruesh nimbly landed on the dragon’s scaly neck. He dashed up the armored vertebrae until he reached his goal: the dragon’s horned crown. Calling upon all his strength, he drove the Black Razor into the huge brain of the colossal monstrosity and slowly began to drain the life-force from the creature. Thore and I quickly dispatched the helpless juvenile dragon, still dancing, until our sword and hammer silenced his shuffling feet, and then welcomed the timely arrival of our friend the Gnome.

I shuddered as I watched Dar’ruesh emerge from behind the massive, lifeless body of the dragon. With a single word, he commanded the magical lions to return to the golden statuette and back to the plane of their existence. He sheathed the flaming scimitar, and in a single, graceful motion, picked-up the statuette and tucked it away safely into the folds of his cloak. “You really should get rid of the gruesome thing.” I told him, as we both stared thoughtfully at the Black Razor that he still held in his hand. Slipping the sword into its sheath, Dar’ruesh nodded and quietly whispered, “I can’t…”
The Grig Fiddler
02-16-06, 01:22 AM Dude are those the characters in the group?
Kevtar
02-16-06, 08:39 AM Yeah, the currently consists of a Fighter, Druid, Barbarian, and Gnome who are all 18th level. At the time of this encounter, they were 16th level. These are the first PCs my sons have ever created and they have played them from 1st to 18th level. It's been great.
Pay2Flay
02-16-06, 09:14 AM That's great! Kid's got some talent there, and a good sense of pacing... which D&D no doubt helped him develop.

Keep encouraging him!
Kevtar
02-16-06, 07:10 PM :bump: Just hoping to gain more replies for my son to read. Thanks.
supervilain
02-16-06, 08:02 PM Thats great! The beginning, with it's quiet ambience is really balanced by the chaotic battle with the dragons. It just hints at so many things which makes you want to learn more about the characters and their adventures. That last line in particular really piqued my interest. Overal I'd have to say it's a very solid piece of fiction, and your son should definitely write more!
The_Levitator
02-16-06, 08:09 PM I thought it was a great read, and I'm not normally into reading stories. I guess that's why I roleplay. The imagery was good and gave me a good sense of "being there". Although it was hard on my suspension of disbelief that such a small group defeated a horde of dragons! ;)
Kevtar
02-16-06, 09:44 PM LOL... yeah, it's pretty hard to believe until you witness the destructive power of this fully armed and operational battle stati... oh wait... sorry got carried away. I mean, the Sword Draconis Mortem. It is GREAT at whacking dragons. (The Bane-blind vs blue dragon armor doesn't hurt either ;) )

Draconis Mortem is a +5 mercurial greatsword with the "Bane" weapon ability versus dragons. So, when my son uses a Full-round action with a full power attack against a dragon he can get the following damage bonuses:

2d6 Initial damage with the sword (x7 with Dragondoom feat)
2d6 Bane
2d6 Dragonbane (when using a full-round action)
+36 (Power attack x2 for using a 2-handed weapon)
+17 (26 STR [belt of giant str +6] & using 2-handed weapon)

So that's a MAX damage of 514 (2d6 +5 x 7 [sword] + 53 x 7 [power attack & STR] +2d6 [bane] + 2d6 [dragonbane]).

With iterative attacks he can deal four attacks at 4d6+17. So that helps a little. In that particular battle, he rolled a crit three times (no power attack) dealing somewhere around 200+ points per crit.

However, even with all this damage output, they were nearly dead and the gnome spent most of his time running around with a 'happy-stick' administering healing.
The Grig Fiddler
02-16-06, 10:57 PM Thats pretty good but I really wouldnt advise him trying to have it published seeing as how two of the PCs are almost exact copies of R.A. Salvatore characters.
Kevtar
02-17-06, 07:27 AM :D Yeah, some elements like that would have to be changed. I remember when we were creating those PCs and my son's friend explained what he wanted. I even tried to talk him out of it, but it seems like every D&D player has to have a Drizz't clone at least once. However, the similarity between this PC and Drizz't ends with the 2-scimitars & figurine.

There isn't much detail on the PCs in this story, so its easy to draw general similarities between these characters and the characters from fantasy books, especially since Drizz't and wulfgar have become archetypes in D&D. But I'm sure as my son gets more experienced in writing he will be able to create unique characters that will still be generalizible.
The Grig Fiddler
02-17-06, 09:07 PM Yeah I like his writting its very good. I write alot of short stories, and a buddy of mine asked me to do a collection of short stories based on all of his characters as a group. Then when I started I realized they were all the same person with different weapons, armor, and names.
Kevtar
02-18-06, 10:36 AM Then when I started I realized they were all the same person with different weapons, armor, and names.

LOL, I noticed something like this with a new group I joined. They all play [basically] the same PC, so when I saw this I started running my PC the way I had designed him (a scoundrel of a rogue) and some people got nervous because they thought the DM would start nailing the PCs. To the contrary, the DM jumped on the chance to RP with a different style of PC.

Another situation that has happened in our group is, although the players have different PCs, they are still being played like their previous PCs. For instance, one of the players played a NE rogue (well, he SAID his alignment was NG- yeah... right ;) )

Anyway, now he is a cleric, a neutral good cleric, and wouldn't ya know it...? It's like he's channeling the spirit of the dead rogue through this character... All of his PCs are the same person.
Kerri_Evanwood
02-18-06, 11:31 AM I find the writing to be very good. I have written and read fantasy short stories probably numbering near the thousands, and I can say that this is one of the better ones.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Kevtar 02-15-06, 06:34 PM	Hi all, My son, who is 15, just wrote a great short-story about one of their adventures in The Lord of the Iron Fortress, and I wanted to 'show it off' a bit. He did a great job. I thought I could post it somewhere on the Forum. Is there a place for D&D fiction? Anyway, I'll post it below and move it later if necessary. If you get a chance, please give it a read and let him know what you think. He is very interested in the reactions from the members of the D&D forum. Thanks! Recently, I ran "The Lord of the Iron Fortress" for my sons' group. My oldest son, who is 15, decided to write about the party's encounter in the "Bolts from the Blue" section of the module. The following is his vignette (and, needless to say, I'm really proud of his writing!) The Elemental Plane of Law The sensation of planar travel was still buzzing in our minds as we exited the portal into the Elemental Plane of Law. As we regained our composure, we were amazed at the stillness and silence of a world without chaos. We were further startled to find that we could see our surroundings with the clarity of midday. The sky was black and filled with enormous cubes, about the size of a small moon, which would float around and occasionally bounce into each other creating a faint clinking noise. We then realized that these cubes were made completely out of steel, even the one on which we stood. We began walking and taking note of the peculiar geometric landforms of the many floating cubes, including our own. The only sound was the occasional “clang” of the extra-planar satellites and the metallic ringing of our footsteps as we plodded along our course. After hours of travel we came to a peculiar mountain range which was seemingly out-of-place on this bleak metallic cube. The jagged “rocks” of steel were actually enormous rifts in the metallic landscape that soared miles high and seemed to be intentionally placed in this location. Eventually, we discovered a sparkling cave of steel; another surprise. Yet the biggest surprise of our venture was the incredible pile of treasure heaped in gigantic loads in the far end of the dark cave. The metallic cave glowed with the brilliance of gems, and a shimmering luster of weapons and armor scattered across the horde. As the word horde entered my mind, my eyes grew wide at the realization of our folly. At that very moment, Draconis Mortem (the legendary great sword strapped to my back, forged with a deep, intense, hatred for Dragonkind) began to vibrate and moan its dreary war song. My companions recognized the sound as well, as it is a warning of the approach of the world’s most feared and respected beast. I instinctively spun around staring into the menacing presence of a huge blue dragon, his mate, and their offspring. They were magnificent… Their scales were like deep sapphires shimmering in the dim light of the cave. Their eyes glistened with hatred, and a small hint of fear of the weapon I now held in my hands. Without a moment’s hesitation, my youngest companion Thore, a stripling barbarian from the plains of Kyrtchea, let out a roar and sent his huge, magical war hammer flying through the air towards the male dragon’s gaping maw. In that instant, my dear friend Dar’ruesh Eetradyes, a refuge Drow Elf, began calling upon the supernatural abilities of his druidic faith. I just smiled and charged ahead towards the three monsters, scattering gold and trinkets all along my path. Swinging wildly, but with surety, Draconis Mortem bit deep into the armor-like scales of the female dragon. The dragons anticipated the attack and reacted with the lighting speed and alacrity that only dragons are capable of. The huge male deftly evaded the barbarian’s mad toss, and opened his enormous mouth. Suddenly I knew our situation had just gone from very bad, to very, very bad, as a stream of crackling lightning blasted the young boy and left him grievously scarred and burned. Fortunately, the Drow had finished his incantation causing razor-sharp, jagged rocks to burst through the surface of the cube in a twenty foot radius. The stones deeply lacerated the soft under belly of the she-dragon and her son. Infuriated, the male focused his next blast squarely upon my friend. Lightning seared his skin, and left his body a steaming heap in the midst of the treasure. Miraculously, Thore had survived his scorching, and was back on his feet. However, at the supposed loss of his friend Dar’ruesh, Thore summoned the legendary and powerful ability of the barbarians to fly into a frenzied, berserker rage. With his arms bulging with superhuman strength, he raised his mighty war hammer, which had magically returned to his white knuckled grasp, and smashed the colossal claw of the mighty male dragon. Thore felt bones break beneath scales, and he swung again and again. I, seeing Dar’ruesh collapse in field of frenetic electrical energy, stealthily advanced towards the female dragon implicitly trusting the properties of my enchanted armor that rendered me completely invisible to this particular breed of dragon. I strode towards the beast and, in a massive leap, sprung up towards the female dragon’s neck. The sword, seemingly of its own volition, beheaded the blue majestic menace. Unexpectedly, a small purple cloud began to manifest itself behind the remaining dragon and his son. The cloud then solidified into Gryfalchyn Silvermane, a gnomish companion of mine from previous adventures. “Man, that was one heck of a bar fight! I’m so glad I’ve escaped that place to find myself… face-to-face with a juvenile blue dragon…!” the blue youngling lunged at him with snapping jaws, cutting the gnome’s exclamation short. Quickly, yet calmly, Gryfalchyn uttered an ancient arcane phrase causing his hand to glow with a curious violet glow as he reached to touch the vicious blue dragon. To the utter astonishment of the dragon (and the pleasure of Gryfalchyn) the dragon found itself uncontrollably foot-shuffling and tapping to an unheard beat. “Ha-Ha!! I love that spell!” laughed Gryfalchyn gleefully as he walked around the helpless, dancing dragon. Unnoticed at the rear of the cave, the charred, steaming, body of Dar’ruesh Eetraydes slowly rose to its feet. His eyes resonating with a faint, red glow pulled a golden figurine resembling two fierce lions from the folds of his cloak. The statuette magically transformed into a pair of golden lions which, at their master’s word, began to attack the male dragon. As his pets advanced, Dar’ruesh’s hands flew to his sheathed scimitars at his hips. In his left, he now held a scimitar wreathed in magical flame and in his right a black, shimmering artifact of sickening and tremendous power: The Black Razor. This fierce weapon is said to have the ability to drink the very life-force from any living creature, giving the strength of its victim to its wielder. Wielding these two deadly, whirling blades he ran to the dragon and mercilessly slashed the colossal creature with deep, scorched cuts. Overwhelmed by the loss of its mate, and the ferocity exhibited by the Drow and his whirling, stinging blades, the dragon turned to flee towards the mouth of the cave. The lions, now climbing up its back, clawed and bit as they struggled subdue the deadly beast. Dar’ruesh desperately called out to Thore and me as we pursued the beast. As the dragon began its retreat, we hatched a daring plan. With all our strength, we launch our companion into the air. Dar’ruesh nimbly landed on the dragon’s scaly neck. He dashed up the armored vertebrae until he reached his goal: the dragon’s horned crown. Calling upon all his strength, he drove the Black Razor into the huge brain of the colossal monstrosity and slowly began to drain the life-force from the creature. Thore and I quickly dispatched the helpless juvenile dragon, still dancing, until our sword and hammer silenced his shuffling feet, and then welcomed the timely arrival of our friend the Gnome. I shuddered as I watched Dar’ruesh emerge from behind the massive, lifeless body of the dragon. With a single word, he commanded the magical lions to return to the golden statuette and back to the plane of their existence. He sheathed the flaming scimitar, and in a single, graceful motion, picked-up the statuette and tucked it away safely into the folds of his cloak. “You really should get rid of the gruesome thing.” I told him, as we both stared thoughtfully at the Black Razor that he still held in his hand. Slipping the sword into its sheath, Dar’ruesh nodded and quietly whispered, “I can’t…”
The Grig Fiddler 02-16-06, 01:22 AM	Dude are those the characters in the group?
Kevtar 02-16-06, 08:39 AM	Yeah, the currently consists of a Fighter, Druid, Barbarian, and Gnome who are all 18th level. At the time of this encounter, they were 16th level. These are the first PCs my sons have ever created and they have played them from 1st to 18th level. It's been great.
Pay2Flay 02-16-06, 09:14 AM	That's great! Kid's got some talent there, and a good sense of pacing... which D&D no doubt helped him develop. Keep encouraging him!
Kevtar 02-16-06, 07:10 PM	:bump: Just hoping to gain more replies for my son to read. Thanks.
supervilain 02-16-06, 08:02 PM	Thats great! The beginning, with it's quiet ambience is really balanced by the chaotic battle with the dragons. It just hints at so many things which makes you want to learn more about the characters and their adventures. That last line in particular really piqued my interest. Overal I'd have to say it's a very solid piece of fiction, and your son should definitely write more!
The_Levitator 02-16-06, 08:09 PM	I thought it was a great read, and I'm not normally into reading stories. I guess that's why I roleplay. The imagery was good and gave me a good sense of "being there". Although it was hard on my suspension of disbelief that such a small group defeated a horde of dragons! ;)
Kevtar 02-16-06, 09:44 PM	LOL... yeah, it's pretty hard to believe until you witness the destructive power of this fully armed and operational battle stati... oh wait... sorry got carried away. I mean, the Sword Draconis Mortem. It is GREAT at whacking dragons. (The Bane-blind vs blue dragon armor doesn't hurt either ;) ) Draconis Mortem is a +5 mercurial greatsword with the "Bane" weapon ability versus dragons. So, when my son uses a Full-round action with a full power attack against a dragon he can get the following damage bonuses: 2d6 Initial damage with the sword (x7 with Dragondoom feat) 2d6 Bane 2d6 Dragonbane (when using a full-round action) +36 (Power attack x2 for using a 2-handed weapon) +17 (26 STR [belt of giant str +6] & using 2-handed weapon) So that's a MAX damage of 514 (2d6 +5 x 7 [sword] + 53 x 7 [power attack & STR] +2d6 [bane] + 2d6 [dragonbane]). With iterative attacks he can deal four attacks at 4d6+17. So that helps a little. In that particular battle, he rolled a crit three times (no power attack) dealing somewhere around 200+ points per crit. However, even with all this damage output, they were nearly dead and the gnome spent most of his time running around with a 'happy-stick' administering healing.
The Grig Fiddler 02-16-06, 10:57 PM	Thats pretty good but I really wouldnt advise him trying to have it published seeing as how two of the PCs are almost exact copies of R.A. Salvatore characters.
Kevtar 02-17-06, 07:27 AM	:D Yeah, some elements like that would have to be changed. I remember when we were creating those PCs and my son's friend explained what he wanted. I even tried to talk him out of it, but it seems like every D&D player has to have a Drizz't clone at least once. However, the similarity between this PC and Drizz't ends with the 2-scimitars & figurine. There isn't much detail on the PCs in this story, so its easy to draw general similarities between these characters and the characters from fantasy books, especially since Drizz't and wulfgar have become archetypes in D&D. But I'm sure as my son gets more experienced in writing he will be able to create unique characters that will still be generalizible.
The Grig Fiddler 02-17-06, 09:07 PM	Yeah I like his writting its very good. I write alot of short stories, and a buddy of mine asked me to do a collection of short stories based on all of his characters as a group. Then when I started I realized they were all the same person with different weapons, armor, and names.
Kevtar 02-18-06, 10:36 AM	Then when I started I realized they were all the same person with different weapons, armor, and names. LOL, I noticed something like this with a new group I joined. They all play [basically] the same PC, so when I saw this I started running my PC the way I had designed him (a scoundrel of a rogue) and some people got nervous because they thought the DM would start nailing the PCs. To the contrary, the DM jumped on the chance to RP with a different style of PC. Another situation that has happened in our group is, although the players have different PCs, they are still being played like their previous PCs. For instance, one of the players played a NE rogue (well, he SAID his alignment was NG- yeah... right ;) ) Anyway, now he is a cleric, a neutral good cleric, and wouldn't ya know it...? It's like he's channeling the spirit of the dead rogue through this character... All of his PCs are the same person.
Kerri_Evanwood 02-18-06, 11:31 AM	I find the writing to be very good. I have written and read fantasy short stories probably numbering near the thousands, and I can say that this is one of the better ones.