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Demonwolf 06-15-05, 11:32 AM

I now have the best d&d fight story evah. My group just started up a d&d fight club with level 20 characters, and thanks to my steamy, promiscuous love affair with irony, I decided to play a petal melee combatant. For those of you who don't know, a petal is a tiny fey from MM III that has flower petals for wings, wears leaf-like clothing, sings travelers to sleep with a sweet, mesmerizing lullaby and looks like this:http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/mmiii_gallery/83032.jpg And then the gods of tabletop roleplaying bestowed their favor upon my character, who, in another layer of irony, turned out better than he would have had I just tried to min-max instead of going for an odd character. Once i managed to negate the hideous strength penalty by using a belt of giant strength, I went dex+int based and took a couple of levels of swashbuckler and 5 in invisible blade. I made use of the ridiculous cha bonus by taking 6 levels in suel arcanamach, and filled in the rest with fighter. So on the first fight of the first day of our little fight club, my character ended up going against another player's character, a 14-foot stone giant fighter with 50 strength, wielding dual heavy morningstars. The first thing that ended up happening was my catching him trying to pass his HP off as being 370 when the maximum possible result he could possibly come up with for his combined HD was around 316. The DM got him to average it to 264. This dude had a record of minmaxing, fudging his own ability rolls, neglecting LA, maxing out his own HP and generally harassing the DM of every game we've had and has shown very little remorse for the like, so I had no choice but to f--- him up. Now, I want you to take this journey with me, even though you all know what's coming. Picture a 14 foot stone giant with 50 strength and dual morningstars standing on a mountain. Now, picture a tiny blue-skinned, navy-winged, teal-haired petal about 13 inches in height and 6 pounds in weight, wielding two quickrazors. Now, I want you to picture that 13 inch petal slaughtering that stone giant in 12 seconds of game time. One round to cast grease and use a tumble check to fly up close, upon which the giant failed a grapple attempt. Another round to use a full attack action to deal 1d2+18+5d6+3d4 damage per hit thanks to insightful strike, a +9 intmod, 3d6 sneak attack, 2d6 vicious damage and the 3rd level spell that died to grant me arcane strike damage. Add to that the fact that a wraithstrike spell and uncanny feint stripped him of all his AC, allowing all of my attacks to hit. He took 225 damage in one round, plus about 52 damage from the critical AoO from the grapple check in the previous round, subsequently falling like a ton of bricks off the empire state, giving the ref a lifelong phobia of floral arrangements. It was the funniest thing either of us had ever seen in game, and the stone giant dude took the defeat fairly graciously, but you could have jumped rope with his hanging jaw. David is my b--ch. Anyone else got a good one?