Post/Author/DateTime	Post
recluce1 02-06-05, 07:27 PM	hey does anyone else get harrased and taunted for being a fantasy nerd. I know at my school all my friends and I get bullied for playing d&d and pive action role playing. Just curiouse if this was happening at other schools.
was_fired 02-06-05, 07:30 PM	No, I advise coming up with better insults. Odds are your not just being bullied for playing D&D. Odds are your being bullied because you can be bullied. So the best solution is to make yourself a bad target for it. The most logical solution is get out more and work out.
Escef 02-06-05, 07:31 PM	I never had a problem with anything like that, but then, I graduated from high school almost 11 years ago. Besides, back then I looked mentally unstable enough to rip people's heads off.
recluce1 02-06-05, 07:36 PM	hmmm.... the mentally disturbed look might not fly with the parents so i theink that im going to dress up as "Theomis Wolfslayer" (d&d charecter) and go nuts running around screaming prophanities in celestial!!
Hart L 02-06-05, 07:37 PM	I did get picked on. At first I was really angry. I'd go berzerk and attack sombody if they made fun of me. That just caused more problems NOT advisable. What worked for me was I started ignoring them and if they really got in my face and called me a nerd I look 'em srteight in the eye and said "And damn proud of it!" Might not work for you, but it works for me.
Escef 02-06-05, 07:38 PM	hmmm.... the mentally disturbed look might not fly with the parents so i theink that im going to dress up as "Theomis Wolfslayer" (d&d charecter) and go nuts running around screaming prophanities in celestial!! Ummm... no, that doesn't sound mentally disturbed at all... (quick, what's the number for 9-1-1?)
recluce1 02-06-05, 07:43 PM	yeah that was a bad idea! :evillaugh Well i guess that ignoring them is a good idea. But the other problem is that people from school have actually seen my group in action. Making the jocks totally p***ed that we were actually having fun after school!
Shayde 02-06-05, 07:50 PM	I have some serious psycological problems because of what was done to me in high school, d&d had nothing to do with it since I didn't start playing untill after high school. I agree partially with was-fired, you are being picked on because you are an easy target. I however reccomend learning a martial art focusing on grappling, it's a much bigger impact when you pin someone twice your size. Keep in mind though that the secret to being cool is that shortly after high school, nobody is going to care how cool you were in high school. Also the people who said that high school are the best years of your life, didn't live past high school.
The Blind Scribe 02-06-05, 07:56 PM	Just insult his mom. That'll earn you some respect. Seriously. But make sure you do it in a joking manner. The wost thing you can do is get angry at them. That's exactly the reaction they want to provoke. I know, becuase I've been on both sides of it.
recluce1 02-06-05, 08:00 PM	thank you all for the advice i am glad i have the encourgment to stop all the torment before it got out of hand. Seriously thank you :)
Nomad4life 02-06-05, 08:15 PM	I’m assuming you’re in high school? Join the football team. That’s what I did, and from then on, my Star Wars obsession was just “quirky” instead of “dorky.” Go figure. Plus, you get to push other “dorks” around, and that can always make you feel better about yourself. Ahhh... High school. How I don't miss it.
recluce1 02-06-05, 08:18 PM	yeah 10th grade 2 months till i get my license!! Anyway i played football in jr. high and am not that athetlic. But all tha ladies love me! :D
Neerie 02-06-05, 08:19 PM	Well I didn't play back in high school, so I can't help you there. I only started afterwards, when I was in college (well not quite the equivalent of the US college though but close enough I suppose), and I spent a lot of time in the computer room or at the Anime club when I wasn't in class, and nowadays, I'm making a master in university, and I bring my books at school without any shame. I often get asked: hey, is that a D&D book? Looks cool!
Reinforcements 02-06-05, 08:19 PM	I cultivated a strong sense of superiority while in high school. As long as you get good grades, just remember that the people who bully you will one day be inquiring as to your desire for a side of fried potatoes.
Tevish Szat 02-06-05, 08:23 PM	Learn insults in Latin or Quenya. French and Old English work as well. Use them then walk away as the morons stare with broken brains attempting to comprehend what you said. works especially well if you say things nicely :cool: my favorite is actually part of the exorcism ritual, picked up from The Crucible (or was it some other work?)
Issmortor 02-06-05, 08:24 PM	yeah like others said, dont make yourself a target, or just insult them back, tis what i do as well, or just use famous people examples (*i think he played when he was younger* "well wait till i grow up and be the next Vin Deisle, b***h") or you could take the aproach some of my friends take, just act like theres nothing better to do, and you only do it as a hobby cus its somtimes fun, kinda get on the defensive(this case, best offense is a good defense) or you could just cast mental domination on the bully and make him walk around saying dnd is fun, and make him make a fool out of himself...or if that doesnt work, just ignor 'em
GreyLord 02-06-05, 08:44 PM	Too bad you were born in the wrong decade. During the 80s D&D was actually pretty popular, everyone I knew played it. Then came the late 80s, then the 90s, and Geekdom seemed to take over the hobby. I've said it a few times on these boards, but a lot of players that play now seem the Nerd/Geek. Not that this is a bad thing...afterall Gates was a complete nerd and now...he's the leader of the Dark MS Empire!!! :) I find it almost hilarious how people try to make it sound as if D&D is SOOO popular and that now WotC has no one else to sell to (a false assumption of course, there are millions just waiting to buy D&D 3.5 if the marketing just manages to appeal to them in the right way...of course that's the secret, getting to them in the right way), how everyone is playing 3e and 3.5, and how it's gotten away from the Geekdom type stereotype. I personally believe (3e made D&D WAAAAY more complex for most people than any previous edition of D&D despite what many fanbois want people to think which probably is the reason why this happened) that D&D now is more solidly set as a stereotype for the pimple faced stranger that many avoid or make fun of than ever before. However, look at the bright side. If you're lucky you aren't the druggy RPG player hopefully, which means that you probably will have a bright future of lots of money. I would highly advise that you NOT insult them back. That will only make people dislike you even more, and possibly get you in some fights. Be yourself, ignore those that insult you, and you'll get stronger from it, emotionally and mentally. In time you'll become comfortable enough with yourself to realize that when they insult you, they are in truth only insulting you because they themselves are uncomfortable with some aspect of themselves. They in turn in some way by some people are probably also made fun of. It's part of growing up. If you are genuinely nice to people (aka don't make fun of anyone, don't insult others, but greet people warmly, etc.) and are comfortable with yourself, you'll find that once you reach that point, anyone who does poke fun at you really isn't worth your time paying attention to, or even that they'll stop because they'll receive so much slack from everyone else, that they'll prefer to stop rather than try it again.
Vanigo 02-06-05, 08:45 PM	Once you've been picked out as a target for bullying, there's really nothing short of transferring to a different school that'll stop it. Well, that or a killing spree, but that's obviously inadvisable, and the only reason it works because you end up dead and you can't bully a corpse. I'm fairly certain that ignoring them has never worked once in the history of bullying. You see, bullies are actually a subhuman race of savages that emerge from their radioactive warrens, infiltrate human high schools, and taunt those they consider to be a threat. Sometimes they'll taunt other kids for fun, but their main purpose is to drive those intelligent enough that they might one day expose their existance to the world to suicide. If they've singled you out, nothing short of death will stop them, but remember: it means they're afraid of you. Learn to take satisfaction from this. Plan your revenge. One day, you'll tear open their cavernous domain and expose them to the horrifying light of the sun, causing their eyes to explode and their eggs to shrivel and ignite. It's probably best if you don't let them know you're on to them, as they may resort to more drastic measures.
GreyLord 02-06-05, 08:47 PM	Once you've been picked out as a target for bullying, there's really nothing short of transferring to a different school that'll stop it. Well, that or a killing spree, but that's obviously inadvisable, and the only reason it works because you end up dead and you can't bully a corpse. I'm fairly certain that ignoring them has never worked once in the history of bullying. You see, bullies are actually a subhuman race of savages that emerge from their radioactive warrens, infiltrate human high schools, and taunt those they consider to be a threat. Sometimes they'll taunt other kids for fun, but their main purpose is to drive those intelligent enough that they might one day expose their existance to the world to suicide. If they've singled you out, nothing short of death will stop them, but remember: it means they're afraid of you. Learn to take satisfaction from this. Plan your revenge. One day, you'll tear open their cavernous domain and expose them to the horrifying light of the sun, causing their eyes to explode and their eggs to shrivel and ignite. It's probably best if you don't let them know you're on to them, as they may resort to more drastic measures. Wow, did you live a deprived childhood or something...or are you being sarcastic. Truthfully, maybe YOU should read the above post I wrote in how to actually stop this from bothering you.
Nomad4life 02-06-05, 08:54 PM	yeah 10th grade 2 months till i get my license!! Anyway i played football in jr. high and am not that athetlic. But all tha ladies love me! :D Not athletic, huh? There’s still hope… Although you could learn better insults, etc, as some have suggested, there really is only one magic surefire “trick” to getting through high school, and once you learn it your problems are essentially over: Be just like everybody else. Figure out what everyone else is wearing, the music they listen to, the TV shows they watch, the way they speak, the phrases they use, etc… And mimic it. The smallest amount of deviance from the norm will give others the only excuse they need to relentlessly pick on you. If you already have a bad reputation, you have to commit an act of great shock value to reverse the image. In high school, you can only “be” one “type” of a limited number of character types at any one time. The fastest way to use this to your advantage is to get drunk in public. POOF, now you’re “the drunkard” instead of “the geek.” Don’t hold grudges against those who pick on you now- Remember that they have NO idea who they are or what’s going on either. They’re just sad cogs in a sad machine, acting out the parts society has handed to them. Remember that this is all only for two more years. Once you get OUT of high school, the rules will be the completely OPPOSITE of what they are now. In college, you must be “different” and “interesting” or you will have trouble finding friends. It’s all very strange. Hope this helps.
Tharivol 02-06-05, 08:57 PM	You really shouldn't change yourself to stop them. You are who you are, and if they don't like it that's their problem. Why do you want to fit into such a group anyway? It seems that you're already better then them--changing to be like them is lowering yourself. "They laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at them because they are all the same." -Ah Knight
Vanigo 02-06-05, 08:58 PM	Wow, did you live a deprived childhood or something...or are you being sarcastic. I'm putting the finishing touches on my army of self propelled geiger counter probes at this very moment. I still need to find an construction crew with heavy excavation equipment who don't ask many questions, though.
Nomad4life 02-06-05, 09:00 PM	You really shouldn't change yourself to stop them. You are who you are, and if they don't like it that's their problem. Why do you want to fit into such a group anyway? It seems that you're already better then them--changing to be like them is lowering yourself. "They laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at them because they are all the same." -Ah Knight This is advice that sounds good on paper, and appeals to the senses of ethics, morally, and the freedom of the individual. In practice, it can be a sociological death sentence.
Wildonion 02-06-05, 09:06 PM	Once you've been picked out as a target for bullying, there's really nothing short of transferring to a different school that'll stop it. Well, that or a killing spree, but that's obviously inadvisable, and the only reason it works because you end up dead and you can't bully a corpse. I'm fairly certain that ignoring them has never worked once in the history of bullying. You see, bullies are actually a subhuman race of savages that emerge from their radioactive warrens, infiltrate human high schools, and taunt those they consider to be a threat. Sometimes they'll taunt other kids for fun, but their main purpose is to drive those intelligent enough that they might one day expose their existance to the world to suicide. If they've singled you out, nothing short of death will stop them, but remember: it means they're afraid of you. Learn to take satisfaction from this. Plan your revenge. One day, you'll tear open their cavernous domain and expose them to the horrifying light of the sun, causing their eyes to explode and their eggs to shrivel and ignite. It's probably best if you don't let them know you're on to them, as they may resort to more drastic measures. And they said I was crazy! *Calls friends* Thats right grab the pulse rifles, we're going on a bug hunt!
Tharivol 02-06-05, 09:08 PM	This is advice that sounds good on paper, and appeals to the senses of ethics, morally, and the freedom of the individual. In practice, it can be a sociological death sentence. Didn't say it wasn't. But I'm convinced that it will help him after high school. Perhaps I'm too young to give far-reaching advice, but then I think some of the other answers have been too far removed from high school. I went through high school with this philosophy and I lived through it.
Escef 02-06-05, 09:10 PM	Truthfully, maybe YOU should read the above post I wrote in how to actually stop this from bothering you. Actually, he's a lot closer to accurate than you think. I was on the recieving end for many years and it didn't stop til I grew my hair out, started walking about with a pepetual scowl, and got toe-to-toe with the bastards and dared them to take the first swing. And your post above said to be yourself and then went on to say that he should ignore them and treat people nicely... Well, what if that isn't being true to himself either? Do you know what trying to ignore them did for me? It made their words gnaw at my insides, because that's the way I am, and it made me a bitter, angry, spiteful person for a long time. My advice is to document the abuse you recieve, borrow your parents' digital camera or something. Hopefully one that takes video and audio. Have a friend record a few instances of it. Turn him in to the school authorities, get his parents involved, show them the video. If he gives you crap, stand up to him. You are taking a lot of abuse that is just plain wrong, and you need to take steps to stop it. I had to put up with similar crap from co-workers recently (the type who have the mentality of 14 year olds), and I had to get human resources involved, and even went so far as to tell one of the little maggots in the locker room that if I saw him out in public there would be a beating administered. It worked. Was this the ideal way to deal with it? No. The ideal way is to talk it over with people and reach an understanding, but you have to understand that the folks you are dealing with are not interested in talk or understanding. So less ideal solutions must be found.
Rallaster 02-06-05, 09:11 PM	I’m assuming you’re in high school? Join the football team. That’s what I did, and from then on, my Star Wars obsession was just “quirky” instead of “dorky.” Go figure. Plus, you get to push other “dorks” around, and that can always make you feel better about yourself. Ahhh... High school. How I don't miss it. Or, even better, join the lacrosse team (assuming your high school has one... but then again, what self-respecting high school wouldn't have lacrosse? :)). But seriously, although I've never encountered the problem, your best bet would to join some sort of group. For example, every Tuesday and Thursday afterschool, a bunch of my teammates (freshman team through varsity) get together and walk down to our high school's weight room and lift for a couple of hours. You'll fit in. Oh, and if you do start lifting, don't worry about starting off small, even if it means just benching the bar. All of us have to start somewhere, eh? I hope that all things work out for the best for you.
angryman 02-06-05, 09:21 PM	This is advice that sounds good on paper, and appeals to the senses of ethics, morally, and the freedom of the individual. In practice, it can be a sociological death sentence. Funny, but in school I just assumed the guys doing the harassing were insecure jerks who felt they had to conform to the stereotype of being "cool" by making fun of those who were "nerds". Screw these people. Believe me, after high school, being "cool" isn't all it's cracked up to be. Case in point- one of the "cool" guys from HS is now an working at McDonalds, and one of the nerdy guys is a successful lawyer. "Yeah, I'm cool. You want fries with that?"
Hart L 02-06-05, 09:21 PM	I guess you need to find out who you are and what works for you. Not all bullies are heartless, just dumb. If they're just mocking you then I'd say ignore them. Changing yourself isn't going to help. As for the whole "learn self defence" well, if you aren't athletic I doubt it'll help. By the time you learn to defend yourself you'll be out of high school. If they are hitting you I say you either tell a teature or give us your school's adress and the names of the kids, I know I'd 'talk' to them for you.
Jarlaxle_The_Rogue 02-06-05, 09:26 PM	I agree with Rallaster. I also disagree that only death will stop the bullying. That is COMPLETELY wrong. I used to get bullied a lot but now I'm fairly popular (Although, admitedly the fact that I can bench most people who used to try and tease me might help...) I've also noted that it seems people who get bullied bring it on themselves. In most cases they don't even notice that they do. Don't give them excuses to single you out. It may take a lot of work, but it is possible turn your situation around. The ABSOLUTE most important thing is this: Have hope. Everything has an ending- its a double sided sword. Good things end. But so do bad.
Vanigo 02-06-05, 09:35 PM	I also disagree that only death will stop the bullying. That is COMPLETELY wrong. Well, okay, a coma will do almost as well. They'll still try to taunt your comatose body, but hospital security will keep most of them out.
Draco Strang 02-06-05, 09:58 PM	Well, I've read all the entries for this thread, and let me tell you, there's some really good advice and some really bad advice here, so you'll have to make your own decision. Everyone at school knew I played DnD, because I brought my PHB to study hall. Some people made fun of me, a whole lot of people just said "Oh, Isn't that the game with dice? Who wins?" and one kid actually joined my group. Seriously, what I would do is try and make friends with one of the group. Obviously, not the guy that gives you wedgies and steals your lunch money, but someone he's cool with. You wouldn't believe what an edge that gives you in the "not getting made fun of" field.\ And, hell....I'm a freshman in high school, so believe me, I remember what highschool was like. I was lucky in that my core group of friends was the group of really cool kids. Sure, I didn't party every weekend or make out with the hottest babes in school, but they actually stuck up for me when others were about to go to town on my nerdy ass. (I was lucky, there's about 100 kids per grade where I come from, so when you make friends, they're pretty much friends for the duration of school, K-12. Somehow, I shared my twinkies with the right group back in 1st grade, and it paid off) It'll be alright man. Once you get that car, just go where you wanna go. No one says you have to sit at home on the weekends. Make a few friends (gaming or non-gaming) from other schools, and just don't associate with the weiners that make fun of ya. You'll be fine man. Now, go buy a d100 and brain those guys with it.
GreyLord 02-06-05, 10:08 PM	I suppose perhaps you are right. Yes, perhaps I didn't suffer from the insults that you mentioned, but I told you my approach to things both then and now. People generally tend towards those that are nice to them, and nice to others. You'd be amazed at how many people feel lonely in high school, or outcasts, or any number of other items. To know that they have at least one friend, or a few steadfast friends works wonders. To be that friend you have to be willing to say hello to those that aren't liked, and be nice to those that aren't nice to you. I had a good number of friends when I was in high school, and I DID have two particularly low scums who tried to make fun of me when away from school. They are probably the reason that I hate people from a particular religion to this day, however, it probably helped that the rest of the school hated them as well. The were complete outcasts, and probably the entire reason they did what they did was because they knew it, the rest of us knew it, and they wanted to try to seek either some sort of vengeance or hoped that they'd look "cool" in doing it...when in truth it just made them stick out as losers even more. The ones that always made me sick in high school were the ones that weren't really my friends, but pretended to be. The ones that just hung out with you because they wanted to fit in, or any number of other items. Those that were nice to you, but mean to others. I could care less about others in the school, if they were nice to me, I was nice to them. Well, actually I couldn't say I was exactly nice to everyone in High School, BUT when I went to college I was. I know that this works, but one has to do it because they genuinely want to be nice. If that's not you, well the best advice still is just to get comfortable with who you are and what you are. Be confident in your likes and dislikes and basically don't care what anyone else thinks. If YOU are having fun, and YOU enjoy it, then who cares what anyone else thinks. High School is a passing phase, your memories are not. Make them good ones. Insulting others, trying to fit in (like some movies which are completely ridiculous in what they try to show) and other items are NOT what really makes someone popular. Think on those that you REALLY like. Most of them that you really like are because they are nice to you. They show you respect and you show them respect. People are popular because a lot of people like them, maybe not you, but a bunch of their circles of friends. The ones that truly are popular and have been for a long while, despite what hollywood and movies might try to tell you, is because they are nice to others, even if that others is not you yet. In turn others are nice to them. So be nice, and be comfortable with who you are. Most of the other advice on trying to fit in or insulting others is only going to make your life more difficult, and make you more frustrated. So in otherwords, Game on, and as Imoen says in BG...about what others say...I care not. PS: In relation to the above statement, here's something to ponder, I didn't even OWN a computer until 1999! Can you believe that, and now look at me, here on these boards typing away!
The_Dark_One 02-06-05, 10:31 PM	they are in truth only insulting you because they themselves are uncomfortable with some aspect of themselves. Actually, some of us insult others for fun. There is no underlying lack of self-esteem, and no real malice in the act. Its just that we have what we believe to be good material and we try it out on the person that seems to fit it. I personally only pick on people who deserve it, or people I like and respect and that I'm sure are able to handle it. I don't think that I qualify as a bully, do I? Oh, and High School was a while ago for me, so any advice I could possibly give would be warped by my spotty long term memory. I was never really picked on back then. But, I seem to be one of those rare people arrogant enough to not care about the opinions of others.
Kru 02-06-05, 10:57 PM	I'm lucky enough to attend a high school where this kind of discrimination isn't that common (at least to me. although, my class alone is around 500 kids so i wouldn't neccesarily see it). The thing that seems to help me and my friends is that we have a large group, don't discriminate and actively recruit. We have a couple of players on the football and rugby teams, others heading up our math team and science olympiad teams. We have brought in girls even (gasp!). Whenever anybody has ever criticised me i just ask them why they feel that way, then ask them if they would want to play. It really throws some people off when you don't respond they way the expect (which is usually either to a. ignore them but really actually hear them or b. get angry and attack them back). A little bit of civility can do a lot to knock down a savage. As i said before, my high school dnd experience hasn't been particularily difficult. Yours seems to be worse, but there are ways that it can be overcome. If nothing else, its only 3 and 1/2 more years at the most.
Razoreface 02-06-05, 10:58 PM	I would highly advise that you NOT insult them back. That will only make people dislike you even more, and possibly get you in some fights. Be yourself, ignore those that insult you, and you'll get stronger from it, emotionally and mentally. That is really, quite frequently untrue. Ignore it and it gets to you, ignore it and it keeps happening.. because the people who do it know that you're having to put effort into ignoring it, and they keep at it. They keep at it, and you keep hiding, you start hiding from a lot more than just them. If it keeps up, it can damage you for life, and it's not uncommon. Maybe a quarter of the people I know are like that. My mom is actually like that. Once you've been picked out as a target for bullying, there's really nothing short of transferring to a different school that'll stop it. It's something that can follow you. I know it followed me through three schools. A strange series of events caused me to transfer from one school to another in grade six, and arrive with a bad reputation. For fighting. Which oddly, led to bullying. Which was quite odd to think of, because I wasn't just athletic, I was well known and generally liked. But the bullying led to fighting, and changing to another school in grade seven. Which resulted in the same thing happening again, and transferring to another school mid-way through grade eight into another city and a nearly complete reinventing of myself, which an accident had made nearly unavoidable. But somehow, some people can smell it. They can simply tell a person who has been, or can be bullied. For me, it ended with nearly being expelled. Instead, I was suspended for ten days, and couldn't take any power mechanics classes for my last four years of highschool. On the plus side, pretty much everyone went out of their way to leave me alone for a very long time unless they needed something actually school related. Except the two who were the cause of my suspension, who continued at me for a while off school grounds. Which was easier for me to solve, because school officials can't stand in the way of law enforcement when the school isn't involved. That was back in the late 80's and early 90's though, when schools here were very quick to sweep away even extreme bullying and fights because it looked bad for the school, and they seemed incapable of taking it seriously, even for people who would repeatedly be disciplined for fighting, or bullying. I also don't recommend doing anything that would get you removed from school. It might make you feel better, but it's a pretty bad idea. It also hurts some, and most girls actually don't like scars that much. :) I also don't condone violence. Often. Even if you go to schools as crappy as mine were.
recluce1 02-06-05, 11:07 PM	hey i want to thank all you guys and girls for the great advice. Thank you!
Kalanth 02-06-05, 11:09 PM	hey does anyone else get harrased and taunted for being a fantasy nerd. I know at my school all my friends and I get bullied for playing d&d and pive action role playing. Just curiouse if this was happening at other schools. Nope, but then again, my friends and I went out of our ways to hide the fact that we played. Now, I flaunt it. My license plate says DND PLR, and I have a custom AD&D vinyl on both the left and right quarter panels (the hood is taken by the 30 inch Buccaneers logo). Sure, I get taunted because of this (the worst being the "god fairing people"), but there is no reason to hide your hobby in any way.
Raede 02-06-05, 11:22 PM	NERD SOLIDARITY!!! :D I'm 6'6", so it was never really an issue. But yes, people would occasionally try to hassle me when they were in a large group. Ignoring them makes the problem worse, and encourages them. My solution? I am by nature a nice guy, so I didn't respond with any kind of force or insulting or ignoring or anything like that, I made it a point to be friendly and get to know people. I can laugh at myself and when you're friendly, people really can't pick on you. It makes them look bad to everyone else. If you make yourself a social outcast and don't care about other people, they won't care about you. Then you're open to abuse. So, if someone is having trouble with something, help them. That's the easiest thing to do. If you can, try to get involved in a conversation every now and then. Prevent yourself from being "otherized" (If they can see you as truly different, as a sub or nonhuman, they can treat you inhumanely. Why d you think people can kill in wars or be racist while applying completely different moral principles at home?) Like I said, VIVA NERD SOLIDARITY!!!
Thorak 02-06-05, 11:46 PM	Actually, some of us insult others for fun. There is no underlying lack of self-esteem, and no real malice in the act. Its just that we have what we believe to be good material and we try it out on the person that seems to fit it. I personally only pick on people who deserve it, or people I like and respect and that I'm sure are able to handle it. I don't think that I qualify as a bully, do I? You, sir, are an :censored:. You pick on people "who deserve it"? I guarantee there has never been a bully in the history of the world who has ever had a different justification. Those nerds deserved it, because they're geeks. That smelly kid deserved it because he smells. That black kid deserved because his skin's a different color. And, turning it around, the guys who snap and shoot the bullies justify it to themselves that the bullies deserved it, because they were bullies. My point is, being deserving of insulting is entirely a personal opinion. And it is precisely these opinions which everyone uses to justify their insulting of another. It is never justified. Unless you have a tacit, friendly relationship which includes friendly jibing, you are not justified in leveling any kind of insult at anyone. Doing so makes you a bully. As to the greater issue, if some double-digit-IQ is insulting you for being into fantasy, you have two options. Outdo him in the insult category, by similarly mocking his hobbies, or ignore him and walk away. I strongly don't suggest the former, because A> you have to outdo him, if you don't in the eyes of everyone, you'll only make yourself a bigger fool, and you'll really, really **** him off, B> you're making it OK for him to act that way to you, since you act that way to him. Ignore them and walk away. If it happens more than once, get witnesses. Then, go to the principal. Insist that the arse be suspended. Inform your parents of what's going on beforehand, so you have their backing too. Sure, you might get a rep as someone who runs and tells. But the moment they taunt you about that, nail them again. And let it be known that you don't tolerate that kind of inhumane behaviour when you've done nothing to deserve it. Keep it up, every time. The moment the principal waffles on it, call your parents and get them to lay on the pressure. If there's serious doubts, engage your witnesses to film it, camera phones are fairly common these days. Nail the arse's hide to the wall, in the current anti-bullying atmosphere, it won't survive long. There's no need for anyone to go through this, and there's absolutely no reason not to go to the people who can help you. That would be like not reporting a mugging because you weren't man enough to not get mugged, it's ridiculous.
The_Dark_One 02-07-05, 12:10 AM	You, sir, are an :censored: . You pick on people "who deserve it"? I guarantee there has never been a bully in the history of the world who has ever had a different justification. Those nerds deserved it, because they're geeks. That smelly kid deserved it because he smells. That black kid deserved because his skin's a different color. Yes, I am. I'll be the first to admit that. Let me define the idea of someone who "deserves it". People who have done nothing do not deserve to be mocked. The last example you used is a good one. Racism is wrong. People are born a certain race and should never be treated badly because of something they have no control over. Racists have tiny brains and richly deserve to be treated badly. People who smell, hmm, this one also deserves to be addressed. Many times this is a concious decision. I've know a few people who wlaked around smelling like New Orleans (for those of you who don't know, that means smelling like a tire fire in an open sewer), just because they were too lazy to take a shower. These people deserve to be insulted. If people treat them with tolerance and understanding, the problem will never be solved. Also, people who take themselves too seriously need to be taken down a peg (or two) every now and then. Really, we're all just monkey that wear pants and have good credit, right? And, turning it around, the guys who snap and shoot the bullies justify it to themselves that the bullies deserved it, because they were bullies. This sort of thing is just never cool. Taking away the rest of someone's life over a problem that will be over soon is just not the right way to handle things. Those nerds deserved it, because they're geeks Nerds and geeks are closely related, but seperate species (think frogs and toads). My advice is to try to not take it all so seriously. It won't last for very long.
slan 02-07-05, 12:33 AM	Perhaps reminding them that their idol Vin Diesel is a D&D player might smooth things over for you... I mean, if it's cool enough for him, who the **** are these schmos to think it's lame? Seriously, though... I had this problem in high school, too; only, it turned out that the reason I turned to D&D was to escape from all the bullying. What changed it for me was two things. 1) Being nice to everyone until they give you cause not to. 2) Standing up for yourself and not backing down. It's possible to be both tough and nice, and that's probably yr best bet. There is no easy way to do it, and like anything else, it takes practice. But the effort will pay off for you in the end. Oh, and there's a #3 to that, too. 3) Remember that no matter how tough/nice you are, some people simply cannot be saved. They aren't your responsibility; when you meet them, just walk away radiating as much strength and compassion as possible, and then never speak to them again.
ImagoKid 02-07-05, 12:49 AM	Hi! I'm thirteen, and I get bullied a lot for playing D&D. I'm not a nerd or a geek, but those f'ing idiots just don't see the fun in anything that is not football or formula 1 car racing. Insulting them didn't work, ignoring them didn't work. You have to show them that you're in control. I took up a martial art - Wing Chun Kung Fu, to be precise. I chose this martial art because it is quick to learn and very effective. You should also try to learn some excellent comebacks you can use.
Tharivol 02-07-05, 01:35 AM	I, personally don't recomend violence. I'm a martial artist too, and while it did give me some satisfaction to know that I could beat them up if I wanted to, it gave me even more to know that I could deal with it without sinking to their level. Another thing, you said that you have friends that play with you. A few real friends that will stand by you is better than a group that lets you be a part of it if you're like them. I can not honestly say that I can compare the two, since I've never had the latter. However, I do have friends who were generally considered popular in my school. When I was forced to face off against a crowd, they would come to my defence. If they're willing to risk their image to defend a friend who is a nerd, they must see the real friendship as the more valuable of the two. There's a lot of different advice here, and most of it doesn't agree. A large number of posts begin with something like, "The post above me is wrong." Obviously, different things have worked for different people, and you'll really have to decide what the best course of action for you is. Another quote: "This is what you'll find/Those that mind don't matter/Those that matter don't mind." -Rusty Golden and Jeff Tanguay Sorry, three posts and two quotes of other people... I don't usually talk like that.
Ranger REG 02-07-05, 02:14 AM	No, I advise coming up with better insults. Odds are your not just being bullied for playing D&D. Odds are your being bullied because you can be bullied. So the best solution is to make yourself a bad target for it. The most logical solution is get out more and work out. Unfortunately, once you're branded an outcast in school, it is "for life" (or until your 10th year school reunion), unless one takes a drastic measure to better your rep ... like lose your virginity, smoke in school, bully other outcasts (including pulling wedgies and swirlies on your longtime nerdy friends who chose not to follow into the dark side ... of popularity, that is). After all, it's better to have new popular friends than old true friends. Oh, and don't worry about hurting your true friends' feeling. You will have plenty of new popular friends to help you through. The trick you must then learn is to take advantage of someone without letting them know you are using them. Be selfish and ambitious, yet cover them with benevolence and philanthropy. :smirk:
Razoreface 02-07-05, 03:41 AM	I'm a martial artist too, and while it did give me some satisfaction to know that I could beat them up if I wanted to Is it something that a philosophical side of a martial art teaches you? I'd never felt that knowing that I could take someone to give me satisfaction. Not unless they knew it too, because if they didn't know it.. they really didn't care. Or believe that I could. But, I learned a more American art that wasn't very philosophical. :) I don't recommend violence either, at times in my life it was basically unavoidable. When it was, I avoided it. When my problems extended beyond the school, the RCMP actually finally solved a large part of that problem for me. Cops are much better at stopping that kind of thing than principals... but back then it was hard to get cops into a school. Oh, and don't worry about hurting your true friends' feeling. You will have plenty of new popular friends to help you through. The trick you must then learn is to take advantage of someone without letting them know you are using them. Be selfish and ambitious, yet cover them with benevolence and philanthropy. For everyone who thought they were past it.. highschool flash back!
Asciiman 02-07-05, 04:44 AM	Learn insults in Latin or Quenya. French and Old English work as well. Use them then walk away as the morons stare with broken brains attempting to comprehend what you said. works especially well if you say things nicely :cool: my favorite is actually part of the exorcism ritual, picked up from The Crucible (or was it some other work?) Believe me when I say that isn't lack of comprehension that makes them stare at you like that. It is more amazement at what a freaking loser you are. Insulting someone in a language they don't understand makes no sense. Why'd you bother insulting them if no one but yourself gets it?
Issmortor 02-07-05, 07:39 AM	i already posted on here quite aways up the thread, but i found somthing on another website that i thought was kinda funny that i could use here... "I'm a poser geek who really has social life outside of [activities]" So just make some friends othe than your gaming buddies, and use them in your defense. "It's not like my entire life is based around [activity], i still chill with kids and do 'regular' sutff" idk if you get my jist, but there it is for ya
anshar 02-07-05, 09:43 AM	but there's a great come back when they bug you about being a nerd: "Be nice to nerds, chances are you'll end up working for one. Best used in friendly tones that denote helpful advice.
Thorak 02-07-05, 09:54 AM	Yes, I am. I'll be the first to admit that. Let me define the idea of someone who "deserves it". People who have done nothing do not deserve to be mocked. The last example you used is a good one. Racism is wrong. People are born a certain race and should never be treated badly because of something they have no control over. Racists have tiny brains and richly deserve to be treated badly. People who smell, hmm, this one also deserves to be addressed. Many times this is a concious decision. I've know a few people who wlaked around smelling like New Orleans (for those of you who don't know, that means smelling like a tire fire in an open sewer), just because they were too lazy to take a shower. These people deserve to be insulted. If people treat them with tolerance and understanding, the problem will never be solved. Yes, we shouldn't be tolerant and understanding of things like this. But that doesn't mean we have to be condescending and insulting. Walk them off to the side, explain that they reek, and that it will be awful difficult for them to make friends unless they start showering regularly. Maybe they'll get ****** at you for trying to help, maybe they don't care. But you've done all you could. Insulting them, however, doesn't do a damn thing except A> alienate them further, so they have even less desire to shower, B> hurt them emotionally, so they distance themselves from others even more, and C> make you a bully. If you think that's helping them, you clearly don't have the first clue about human psychology. Also, people who take themselves too seriously need to be taken down a peg (or two) every now and then. Really, we're all just monkey that wear pants and have good credit, right? Who said you're any better? Seriously. Who the heck are you to be determining who "needs to be taken down a peg"? Are you so bloody certain you're perfect? If not, why don't you work on building yourself up, rather than trying to tear others down so you can feel bigger than them. This sort of thing is just never cool. Taking away the rest of someone's life over a problem that will be over soon is just not the right way to handle things. Ahh, so you are completely ignorant of what you're doing. News flash; being bullied isn't something "that will be over soon". The scars you get from it do not go away easily. I say this as someone who was bullied as a kid, for no good reason. I didn't smell, I wasn't deformed, I wasn't anything but the new kid in class. I was bullied fairly heavily for 3 years, and it took me well over twice that long to get over it. And this wasn't even in high school, this ended in grade 6, when we moved. If you seriously think that bullying ends when you stop cracking insults, you need a serious reeducation. If that were true, kids wouldn't be snapping and killing bullies. Because when they get home each day, it's all over, right? Nerds and geeks are closely related, but seperate species (think frogs and toads). I don't even know where to start. I seriously hope you're joking, and haven't seriously defined the characteristics of each "species" to ensure you get your insults right. My advice is to try to not take it all so seriously. It won't last for very long. For you, as the one insulting. However, that is only true because you are an unempathic arse, and are exactly the kind of person who drives kids to suicide and school shootings. But hey, making them feel small just reinforces how big it makes you feel, so it's OK, right?
tynfid 02-07-05, 10:24 AM	Recluce, "I know at my school all my friends and I get bullied..." This is so much more positive than you can imagine right now. You have friends who are in the same position as you. This reduces the problem you are facing by a lot. Imagine the poor people who have to put up with this kind of treatment without anyone to turn to. Draw strength from one another. If you have these true friends who like you for what you are, then you really do not need to have your lives or your hobbies validated by the "in-crowd". Tynfid P.S. I hope this never happens but it might help to look at it this way. Your friends are true, if you were to have an accident and end up horribly scarred or disabled your freinds would still be your friends. The jocks and the like have to keep up their "cool" image every day of their lives to remain "cool", if they had the same accident they would most likely loose their friends pretty quickly.
Escef 02-07-05, 12:09 PM	News flash; being bullied isn't something "that will be over soon". The scars you get from it do not go away easily. Research over the past few years has found that being bullied for a prolonged period of time creates a condition startlingly similar to post-traumatic stress disorder. And I know why it is so serious, these kids are effectively walking into the line of fire every day. It is no wonder they exihibit problems also found in combat veterns and P.O.W.s.
skywyze 02-07-05, 12:32 PM	Exactly what kind of abuse are we talking about? Verbal? Physical? Both? And how bad is it? If it's just verbal abuse it's easy, since these people are by definition insecure, and therefore quickly outwitted. I know where you're coming from though. By age 12 I had ended up in the hospital with a fractured skull on four occasions because people pushed me off cliffs and threw large rocks at me for fun. Now two of those people are in prison and I'm halfway done with my medical degree. On top of that I have a gorgeous, kind girlfriend back home (who both LARPs and plays various roleplaying games) and enjoy life much more because I don't have to look back on my high school years with shame of what I did. ...And that's more than any of those who mocked me can say. :pint:
Ascian 02-07-05, 02:12 PM	I can't be bothered to do the quotes thing, so I'll just say what I'm addressing. Choosing to be different, to be yourself, is not necessarily a 'social death sentence'. Also, being branded an outcast is not necessarily permanent. I know from experience. When I got to high school, I was totally unprepared and faced severe bullying. As a survival mechanism, I drifted over to the darkest corner of the lunch room and adjusted my colouration accordingly. Yes, I became a goth. This didn't help my ostracisation, but it gave me people with whom to be ostracised. After a couple of years of this, I had something of a mental breakdown and, ultimately, said 'screw this'. I started dressing how I wanted, behaving how I wanted, being who I wanted to be. You know what? All the insecure little popularity-hunters saw my sudden confidence and wondered what my secret was. I was different and didn't apologize for it, and somehow that made me cool. Note that 'not apologizing' doesn't mean being an ass about it; I was a good and friendly person, which helped the process. By senior year, I was among the most liked guys in school. Being yourself can work. It won't at first, but you have to just be yourself even harder. Even if you never get respect from your peers, when you get out of high school you'll look back and know that you survived with your self intact. Or you could spend four years trying to be like everyone else, fail for ridiculously arbitrary and cruel reasons, hate yourself for it, and come out of high school feeling like a loser because you don't even know who you are. Your call. Just lending perspective. Good luck.
Wharin 02-07-05, 02:38 PM	Yeah i am surprised that in this age of lawyers, combined with events that grabbed national attention on the subject, "no tolerance" policies, and new technology that can document it at a finger-tip (camera phones), that abuse in school is still much of an issue. Somehow I doubt that simply playing DnD is going to make you the target of jokes. I am sure there is certain amount of social disfunctionalism/autism that might be cause for criticsim. Bad posture, rediculously stereo-typical nerd clothing (think Freaks and Geeks), bad hygiene, awkard ticks, and otherwise weak mannerisms, are much more of a issue then DnD. Its just that DnD is targetable/tangible. Spouting off some dead/made-up language or using an equally nerdy reference as some "snappy" come back, while maybe immediately satisifying, will probably be laughed at, and is a sure-fire way to become even more of a target of criticism/abuse/harrassment. There is something to be said about a tan over pale skin, bathing over bad hygene, unoffensive clothing over glaringly-tacky clothing and good posture over bad. If these are the issues here, they are relatively quick fixes that i am sure will ease the criticism. Now if you really want to scare the pants off of you're harrassers, i would try looking up the legal books and see if there is anything that such abuse you can nail them on. Threaten to charge assault and battery. I personally dont know if its really possible if i could really, but i threatened it and it worked on one kid in middle school for me, and havent heard from him since. Now i only graduated high school like 6 years ago, and aside from not being the "the cool guy's" friends, i never recieved really anything in the way of abuse of anykind, and i was a big of a nerd as they come. Now when i was in middle school i made a few enemies, who would sometimes try to literally push me around, but they either got eventually expelled for whatever crap they did or got held back or otherwise vanished from my life, but i would like to think that the classic bullies are out of the system in present day highschool. And if they arent, take heart in knowing that it will all be over once you graduate.
Stark Raven 02-07-05, 04:28 PM	Bullying is the absolute most vile and offensive thing one person can do to another in high school. I suffered through enough years of it, I should know. I did play DnD in high school (in the 80's) but I knew even then that that wasn't the root cause of my being a victim. My DnD group actually had a couple of jocks and preppies that got along just fine with the "in-crowd". The problem was that I was socially inept. I admit it. I was never taught by my parents or anyone else how to deal with the kind of group dynamic you find in schools and as hard as I tried, I just couldn't "get it" on my own. As a result, I was an easy target for people who needed to tear other people down in order to feel good about themselves. A few years after I got out of high school, I thought I had gotten over the whole thing just fine. Of course, the main reason for thinking that was because I didn't have to face it anymore. I could pick and choose where I went and who I associated with (other gamers, Scadians, etc.) and as a result, I could avoid any situation where public humiliation and abuse was likely. This, however, only covered up the underlying scars, it didn't heal them, as I found out not so long ago. I was doing pretty well and had finally gotten the hang of interacting with people for the most part. I still didn't like large crowds and I still tended to shy away from any situations that I was uncomfortable with, but within my little "realm" of existance, I was considered an ok guy. Even cool, in some instances. I learned to dress better, speak and act with confidence, develop things that I was good at so that I could awe people with my "133tness". I also got contacts and later laser surgery. No more coke bottle glasses for me, no sir. I was on the fast track to being Mr. Popular. Or so I thought. Recently, I started dating a (wonderful, sweet, amazing) woman who teaches at a high school. She also coaches middle school girl's basketball and is big on sports (she's also a hard core DnD player and Scadian). I didn't really think much about her job and what it involved until she invited me to come to one of her school's varsity football games. I'm not that big on team sports (being more into martial arts and sword play), but it was a chance to hang out with her so I agreed. I cannot describe the awful feelings that came crashing down on me the minute I found myself standing around that football field, watching all those people cheer for a bunch of kids who looked and carried themselves just like my former tormentors (mostly jocks). It was all I could do not to bolt in unreasoning terror. The scars were back in full force. I apparently have never really gotten over the trauma of what I went through in high school. She and I have had long talks about it and she's now helping me to face my past, instead of just avoiding it. The point of this rather long and probably far too revealing story is that bullying is not an innocent activity perpetrated by kids that are just "joking around". It is abuse and is as bad, if not worse, than any other kind of child abuse. Just because it's not an adult doing the abusing doesn't make it ok. It is not a laughing matter, nor is it in any way "cute" or acceptable. Whoever said that the after effects on the victim are similar to post traumatic stress syndrome is 100% correct. I still have to fight off the shakes and severe depression everytime I go to one of my girlfriend's high school games. The flashbacks and nebulous feelings of worthlessness, helplessness and dread are so strong sometimes that it's all I can do not to let them overwhelm me. And this is after being away from the source of those feelings for nearly 20 years. As for what to do about it, I believe that it should be treated just like a similar crime committed by an adult. It should be reported *every single time it happens*. There should be involvement by the teachers, the administrators, the parents (of both kids), the police, and if need be lawyers and judges to put a stop to it and make sure that the kids responsible are punished and/or treated for whatever emotional problems are responsible for their malicious actions. It should be considered harrassment, intimidation, defamation of character, assault and battery, etc., which last time I checked were all against the law. "Zero tolerance" doesn't go nearly far enough, if you ask me. These kids need to be held accountable. Period. End of story.
Nimbus 02-07-05, 04:59 PM	Reading throught this thread I am shocked and astonished that only two out of fifty-seven posts mentioned informing the school authorities. ie. the teachers, principles, etc. If you are being bullied then that is the first thing you should do, non-existant code of the schoolyard be :censored:. If the bullying starts out of school then get other authorities informed. It'll save alot of trouble in the long run.
recluce1 02-07-05, 05:02 PM	Hey Everyone I wanted deeply profess my thanks to each and everyone of you fellow d&d players. This post has really helped me to cope with the abuse and overcome it. I really feel better that although i dont have alot of friends, i have you guys on this forumn. I have tried to send you all a pm thanking you in detail, but my computer is on the frits. So dont be sad i didnt get you a pm. Thank you so much!! :)
Ectoplasmoid 02-07-05, 06:02 PM	Step one- get a bit of sulfur. Step two- get a pinch of bat guano. Step three- If you don't know what step three is, you dont have the INT anyway, so forget it. Now, for some real advice: 1) Inform the authorities 2) Just freak out one day while they're bullying you- go into convulsions, grand mal siezures, and all sorts of scary s**t. That should get them to think twice before going after you. (No offense to epileptics). 3) Kill them with kindness-do nice stuff to them until they stop bullying you.
Blackrazorblade 02-07-05, 06:29 PM	I am in 10th grade and really don't have this problem. I never realy told anyone at my school that i play DnD, altough i don't hide it, i also don't advertise it. While i am not the stereotyical nerd (i am an athlete, fencer) most of the kids who you would expect to pick on nerds respect me cause i am so smart compared to them. Of course at my school i don't think alot of bullying goes on. Also if they make fun of you tyr and figure out if their tone is joking or not, they may just be bantering with you, tennage guys tend to make fun of each other alot in a joking way, altough that may not be apparent in the tone. yeah you can tell those in charge at your school but that may only make the bullys angry and likely to lash out. If for instance the football player gets suspended from the team for bullying you and you reported it then his friends may take their revenge. Of course that would only get them in trouble too. As to the making friends with them or their friedns that may work i remember one kid was mocking my inability to catch a football and his friend (whose father knew my father and we were sort of friedns when we were little) told him to shut up cause i was going to be making 10 times as much money as him some day.
green_yawgmoth 02-07-05, 06:43 PM	I used to get bullied in high school a bit. Then I broke a kid's arm. Then Columbine happened. Then... nobody tried to pick on me anymore. Of course, this was after I told the principal "___________ keeps trying to pick a fight with me, and is in general being a dick. If someone doesn't stop him from habitually harassing me, I will." They couldn't really punish me for anything, seeing as how I told them what was going to happen a good 2 weeks in advance, but I think that it may have been that everyone in the school's administration had some kind of Carceri-induced apathy going on. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
PurdueDave 02-07-05, 06:49 PM	Hey Everyone I wanted deeply profess my thanks to each and everyone of you fellow d&d players. This post has really helped me to cope with the abuse and overcome it. I really feel better that although i dont have alot of friends, i have you guys on this forumn. I have tried to send you all a pm thanking you in detail, but my computer is on the frits. So dont be sad i didnt get you a pm. Thank you so much!! :) Glad to hear that. I don't know that I'd agree with all the advice posted here but most of it was pretty constructive. Everyone gets bullied in some way shape or form at one time or another. It's not the end of the world but certainly not pleasant either. Even if you're nice to people not everyone will reciprocate in kind, but some will...even teenagers. Just remember that being nice and reasonable won't necessarily make you a respected teenager but it will certainly make you a respected adult.
Blackrazorblade 02-07-05, 07:23 PM	Perhaps reminding them that their idol Vin Diesel is a D&D player might smooth things over for you... I mean, if it's cool enough for him, who the **** are these schmos to think it's lame? Well i think i read somewhere he got picked on a bit for playing DnD and decided to work out and get big muscles to scare away the bullies. Or something like that, so aside from bringing him up you can do as he did.
Steelgryphon 02-07-05, 07:56 PM	I havent had time to read all of these posts, but i have 2 things to say: 1) To whomever said draw strength from your friends, well I can count my friends on 1 hand, on the lesser half of my hand, yea 1 true friend who i can confide with, and thats not even a person is a parrot, thats how socially inept my life is, sure ive got a few ppl i play dnd with and a few i chat with on msn but i cant trust any of them. So somtimes drawign strength from friends wont work, what i did to get a few people to lay off is throw the largest of of them thruogh a door (glass) sure i got suspended and had to pay for the window, but that group layed off. Also, even just carrying a big knife seath will get ppl to lay off, just make sure they dont see that its empty, just stick a pencil in a hard case with another smaller one taped across like a hilt, itll look like a knife for a few seconds. 2) Whoever said involve the school admin, ive been trying for 5 years to get these braindead ****s kicked outta school for bullying, usually in the office complaining atleast once a month, theyve never even been called to the office to be questioned, so school admin=incompetent
skywyze 02-07-05, 08:18 PM	Whoever said involve the school admin, ive been trying for 5 years to get these braindead ****s kicked outta school for bullying, usually in the office complaining atleast once a month, theyve never even been called to the office to be questioned, so school admin=incompetent Agreed. The first time the seventh graders (I was in first grade) threw rocks at me I came into the teachers' lounge with a bleeding and fractured skull and asked if they could call my mom and what I should do. They refused to call her, did NOT call the ambulance, did not take a closer look, assuming it was just a scratch, did not stop the other kids from picking on me (they kept this up the whole semester), did not even try to intervene, and actually laughed when I asked if I could go home. Needless to say my mom took me out of the school at the end of that very same semester, and I'm glad she did. I still have a scar above each of my eyebrows and probably more that've been covered by hair since. It might've healed better if they'd called the frickin' ambulance instead of waiting till someone else took a look at it. The morale: Teachers can be deeply, passionately stupid, lazy, self-centered and ignorant. "Those who can do..." Glad you feel better though. Hope you never have to go through the same things I did.
Razoreface 02-07-05, 08:22 PM	yeah you can tell those in charge at your school but that may only make the bullys angry and likely to lash out. If for instance the football player gets suspended from the team for bullying you and you reported it then his friends may take their revenge. Of course that would only get them in trouble too. Pattern of escalation is actually a quick way to solve a problem like that.. it is what solved my problems with two separate bullies at my schools. A teacher found out, and they got in trouble. They started a fight with me, and were suspended. When it happened a second time, one was expelled. It took three times for the other one. what i did to get a few people to lay off is throw the largest of of them thruogh a door (glass) sure i got suspended and had to pay for the window, but that group layed off. Desks work also, if your school has that wire meshed safety glass, people just bounce on it. 2) Whoever said involve the school admin, ive been trying for 5 years to get these braindead ****s kicked outta school for bullying, usually in the office complaining atleast once a month, theyve never even been called to the office to be questioned, so school admin=incompetent District superintendent. Even in these days, a lot of school officials in some areas are still pretty reluctant to do anything about it, because of varying reasons. But people in the school district offices tend to take it a lot more seriously. Mostly with things like that, it depends on who you talk to. Idealy, you want a fairly young principal or vice principal. Someone who just went through certification and had the seriousness of bullying grilled into them. An aunt and uncle of mine are both in it, one teaches fifth grade and one taught eighth and ninth grade history until he moved to admin. Both are close to sixty, and neither take bullying that seriously. You also can have some luck with PTA's, or elected school officials.
Ao 02-07-05, 08:44 PM	That which makes us exceptional is inevitably that which makes us lonely.
Flame_Drake 02-07-05, 09:35 PM	The morale: Teachers can be deeply, passionately stupid, lazy, self-centered and ignorant. "Those who can do..." Man don't diss all of them, some are good people. My advice: 1) pick up a martial art. Even if you aren't athletic, it will pay off if you stick with it. It might even take care of the problem for you. Besides, any martial art worth its salt should not require athletic ability. 2) know your people. Know who you want to be with and work your way out. Finds something you enjoy. Make friends there. Then met other people. The social circles you are excepted in will grow and grow fast. They say that by moving from one person that to one they know you can reach everyone in the world in six such movements. Put the two together. 3) trust the freinds you have and the friends you make. 'Nuff said. 4)Find the people in Grades 11 and 12 that play dnd. Become freinds with them, assuming that you get allong with them. You'll be suprised how quickly people will lay off in schools when confronted by someone in the school oolder then them. If one of them happens to play rugby and/or football, well... just imagine the look on those pansies faces when a 200 lbs 6'00'' tall Grade 12 prop tells them to quit bugging you. It'll also wipe the smiles off their if he's smarter then them too. And the iorny is great when you know he wouldn't hurt a fly (Yes I'm enjoying the thought of me doing that to these kids, I get to do it once every seventeen years). 4) stay you. Don't change because some thinks what you are is dumb. Your going somewhere in life. If they do to, they will come to the realization that they need to respect others or fall very,vey pitifully.
Escef 02-07-05, 09:53 PM	To all of you folks out there that have been the victim of this kind of behavior, I understand. I was there too, for more years than I care to count. It screwed me up pretty badly, and I can see it has done the same for you (some of you even worse than me). If you want to send me a PM or email and talk, it's cool. I may not know you, heck, I may even end up not liking you, but I know what you've been through, and recently realized the extent of the effect it had upon me (in one way or another, it caused most of the problems I've had in my life). The most positive thing I can say about the whole experience is it doesn't have to break you, and you can recover.
Darth K'Trava 02-07-05, 10:45 PM	I have some serious psycological problems because of what was done to me in high school, d&d had nothing to do with it since I didn't start playing untill after high school. I agree partially with was-fired, you are being picked on because you are an easy target. I however reccomend learning a martial art focusing on grappling, it's a much bigger impact when you pin someone twice your size. Keep in mind though that the secret to being cool is that shortly after high school, nobody is going to care how cool you were in high school. Also the people who said that high school are the best years of your life, didn't live past high school. Ain't that the truth!! Whoever said that was totally full of BS to begin with or was the ditzy cheerleader who slept with the entire varsity football squad in one season.... High school can totally :censored: up your life as it proves kids are evil little bastards who don't like those who are different than they. Too bad I didn't have this source for advice when I was in hell school..... nor did it involve D&D... I'm glad I have friends who can look past the skin color and see the person under that skin. :D
TiggerLilly 02-07-05, 11:13 PM	I play dnd and noone knows about it. If they do they dont care. All the preps and jocks are just rude to me in general cause they are popular and im not. For me though, not a problem. If they still pick on you though and they come up to you and say it in your face then you can either: A. Ignore them B. tell them "at least im not a snob" and walk away C. walk away D. Make em mad there are other choices but those are the ones i usually deal with. Usually A is the best choice. Or you could just go around and start chanting in elven or something saying curses on their pot heads. :schemes:
Nomad4life 02-07-05, 11:26 PM	The morale: Teachers can be deeply, passionately stupid, lazy, self-centered and ignorant. "Those who can do..." *coughs* Those who think they can, try. Those who think they can’t, don’t. Those who help both, teach. I know, because I am a teacher.
Mandarbgrim 02-07-05, 11:46 PM	I had problems with this in junior high..I moved around a bit..ended up back at the same school in high school..I was a total loner by then from the social issues I have..but had no problems with being bullied. I just felt like a geek/nerd/loser inside. I joined the military, went to Iraq, got in shape, got lasec on my eyes, dressed better, and made a lot of friends in the military. I have strived to be an intelligent, interesting, fair, attractive, and amiable person..and seemed to have succeeded. But I still have trouble with being around large numbers of people. I freeze up in certain social situations. I am terrified of being humiliated by doing something wrong. Basically..I am still as socially inept as I ever unless the person is familiar, shares some kind of common hobby/interest, or if I am dealing with them in a public sphere as opposed to a social/private one. The social problems and scars from your youth do not go away. Adults are attracted to independant, intelligent, and interesting people..but as long as you carry around your previous personna it doesn't help you a great deal after high school. 70% of communication is non-verbal and people can just tell if you are insecure around them or think of yourself negatively. I am sorry that I cannot offer any actual advise on this issue, only a slight amount of personel insight.
Braids 02-08-05, 12:02 AM	Learn insults in Latin or Quenya. French and Old English work as well. Tis the way to go my friends, I could say Latin insults all day. my favorite is actually part of the exorcism ritual, picked up from The Crucible (or was it some other work?) Ooh? Maybe I should check this out...I liked that play. ~~~ I myself have never had such problems, even though I have made my geeky obsessions pretty obvious [Letting people see me with my books, playing card games, rolling my dice when I get bored]. Usually people talk to me about them, but more often than not it’s because they are interested or are just trying to make conversation…maybe it’s cuz I’m on the more liberal campus [My school is divided into two campuses].
ElNoNombreHombre 02-08-05, 12:18 AM	As someone who has lived through the never ending torment that is called the US Public School System, there are two things I've learned about the art of Bully Diffusion. Now, my expertise is limited to the realm of verbal abuse, as any physical cases were isolated. Thing the first: Ignoring "them" does not work. The simple act of you ignoring them shows that whatever they said is getting to you. Bullies don't care how you show you're been bothered by them, as long as you show it, that's what they're looking for. This has already been mentioned, so I'll stop. Thing the second: Bullies are cowards and whimps. If you're anything harder than a "pushover" to annoy, they'll go elsewhere. What I'm suggesting is that to get a bully to leave you alone is you need to figure out how to pervert their insult in such a way it is no longer insulting to you (or at least, make it appear that way). Both of the following examples have worked for me, your mileage may vary, but they have been feild tested at least once and both worked. EX 1: The undesireable nickname This one is the easiest to implement. If you have acquired some name people have taken to calling you that bothers you, simpily start responding to that name as if it were your own. It's no fun to call someone something that they're going to just respond to normally. It won't take effect immediately, in fact, the frequency of the name might increase--temporarily. Fear not, this is just a sign that it is in its final throes. The use will soon dissapate. Keep with it. Remember to always respond to it that way. Just incase someone tries again at a later date--niping it in the bud before it has a chance to do anything. EX 2: The unexpected turnaround This one is slightly--no--FAR easier said than done. Fortunately, all you need is one successful turnaround and they'll leave you alone. It doesn't even need to be a *good* one. As long as you can take their insult, turn it arround and burn them with it without studdering/losing it, it WILL set them back on their heels. This tactic generally works best for "the quiet ones." I can remember this victory fairly clearly. I was getting harassed by some kid on my bus who kept asking me if I knew what a <certain term for a specific part of the female anatomy> was. I ignored him the day he did this, as I didn't want my answer turned arround against me. He persisted (see thing the first). Finally, one day he proceded to ask me the question again, and this time I responded, "No, but I know you have one." His stunned silence and the "OOOOOHHHH"'s that followed shut him up quick. Now, as you can see, there's fairly ovious logical falacies in my counter (if I don't know what a <ctfaspotfa> was, how could I possibly know that he has one--and how the heck do I know he has one in the first place?). But since he wasn't expecting a return volley, he couldn't respond. Advantage: me.
Thorak 02-08-05, 12:42 AM	Just to reiterate something I said earlier, which I'm seeing criticized in some more recent posts; Step 1; tell your parents. Step 2, go to the authorities. If this hasn't solved the problem, then; Step 3; get your parents to contact the principal and demand action. And if that doesn't work, the next two; Step 4: contact the school board and provide them a full, type-written report, as well as information that if nothing is done within the week, you will resort to step 5, and; Step 5; contact the local paper. See if they'll run a story on bullying in local schools. Be sure to mention the school, the principal, and if you have documented evidence in the form of video as I suggested, the bullies themselves, labelled as such. I can guarantee that once a newspaper article naming both the bullies in the school, and the principal who condoned it, hits the press, neither is gonna last very long. And hopefully the principal is reined in by the school board prior to that. If you're going to name names, though, be sure and document everything, so that if you get accused of slander you can show that you're only stating the bald-faced truth. Even if you can't, threatening the school board with being exposed as condoning bullying should get some action, which should in turn result in pressure on the principal to do his bloody job. Sadly, the "those who can, do.." statement carries a great deal of truth. I say this as someone entering education myself. It's not true because teachers are all selfish pricks. It is true because many teachers ended up in the profession not knowing what else to do, only to later find out they don't like teaching, and they don't like kids. This doesn't mean you have to accept it, nor does it mean there aren't great teachers out there. I've had my share of both.
FlimFlam 02-08-05, 02:20 AM	hey does anyone else get harrased and taunted for being a fantasy nerd. I know at my school all my friends and I get bullied for playing d&d and pive action role playing. Just curiouse if this was happening at other schools. That's why God invented School Shootings.
Ranger REG 02-08-05, 04:01 AM	Whoa! If that is intended as a joke, that is in poor taste. :nonono:
deusxmachina 02-08-05, 04:05 AM	Somehow I doubt that simply playing DnD is going to make you the target of jokes. I am sure there is certain amount of social disfunctionalism/autism that might be cause for criticsim. Bad posture, rediculously stereo-typical nerd clothing (think Freaks and Geeks), bad hygiene, awkard ticks, and otherwise weak mannerisms, are much more of a issue then DnD. Its just that DnD is targetable/tangible. Spouting off some dead/made-up language or using an equally nerdy reference as some "snappy" come back, while maybe immediately satisifying, will probably be laughed at, and is a sure-fire way to become even more of a target of criticism/abuse/harrassment. I was going to type some stuff, but that summed up a lot of it. Especially the part about using "snappy" comebacks from a different language or whatever. That'd just make things worse. May as well make fun of a bully by talking Klingon to him and only have Star Trek buddies get the joke. "Being cool" doesn't work that way. If D&D is a major cause of the bullying, I'd hazard a guess that it's a major cause because a person acts so obsessed about it that it's easy to pick on someone for that -- for being obsessed about anything. Goth people tend to go overboard "trying to be different" that that they just wind up dressing the same and conforming with the other people in their goth group anyway, which then can make them easy targets because it's obvious they are trying too hard. Playing D&D shouldn't be that big a deal, (if it is, I certainly wouldn't bring any of the books to school), but anyone who notices themselves basically having D&D as the subject of over half of their publically-heard conversations, that's just asking for it. It's hard to deal with the few bullies who are bullies simply because they are jackasses who like to hurt people, but the rest of the potential bullies really don't care one way or another unless you give them a reason to try to bully you. Be confident in who you are and what you like, but anyone who goes overboard or obsesses about anything around other people who don't understand the obsession are making themselves an easy target. You could turn the whole subject around and think about a stereotypical conversation "nerds" have about "jocks." The jocks obsess about sports, and so the nerds ridicule them for it. You can't force someone else to think what you like is cool, be it sports or D&D or whatever. So around those people, when in doubt, shut up. And anyone who thinks it's just teasing or you don't mean it or whatever when you pick on someone, let me tell you, those scars can last a whole lot longer than the six years Thorak mentioned. This is life-long emotional trauma we're talking about here. Fortunately, grade school and high school only lasts a relatively short time, and once graduation day comes, everyone is free to spend the rest of their lives only associating with people they want to associate with.
deusxmachina 02-08-05, 04:15 AM	1) To whomever said draw strength from your friends, well I can count my friends on 1 hand, on the lesser half of my hand, yea 1 true friend who i can confide with, and thats not even a person is a parrot, thats how socially inept my life is, sure ive got a few ppl i play dnd with and a few i chat with on msn but i cant trust any of them. So somtimes drawign strength from friends wont work, People tend to say how many friends they have, oh, he's my friend, she's my friend, but usually those people are just associates. I've always been able to count my friends on one hand. A friend is generally someone whom you could call at 3am to come bail you out of jail. Most of the other people are just associates.
NehpetsTtocs 02-08-05, 06:57 AM	There is no easy solution to bullying. I would try to explore several avenues before deciding on a final course of action. I would probably call the person who's bullying me and ask why he's doing it. It's strange, but this actually worked for me once. I'm not saying it will work for everyone, but it's the direct approach. Failing that, try to have your parents talk with officials at the school. Bullying is a serious issue; any school administrator who looks the other way is asking for a lawsuit, and really, an official who ignores bullying doesn't deserve be working in a school. I don't suggest using weapons or even threatening to do so. If you threaten to use a weapon, somebody is likely to take you seriously and use one on you. I was threated by a kid once, years ago, with a knife. I waited for him outside the school, behind a nearby retaining wall; when he walked by, I jumped out and took a swing at him with a bycicle chain. I ended up scarring him for life. He never bothered me again, but I have never been able to let go of the guilt. Nothing happened to me, but this was in the eighties, well before Columbine. I wouldn't like anybody's chances to get away with an assault these days. Oddly enough, when I graduated from high school in 1994 (yes, I'm old), I knew many people who played Dungeons and Dragons. It wasn't necessarily considered a "nerd" thing to do.
Sulaco 02-08-05, 10:17 AM	Learn insults in Latin or Quenya. French and Old English work as well. Use them then walk away as the morons stare with broken brains attempting to comprehend what you said. works especially well if you say things nicely :cool: my favorite is actually part of the exorcism ritual, picked up from The Crucible (or was it some other work?) Bad idea. If you are trying to escape being taunted as a geek then speaking Elvish at someone is more than a little counterproductive. The best way I ever found to deal with anyone who gives you a hard time about anything is to simply say "So what?" If they call you on it continue with "What difference does it make?" and "How does it affect you?" Another technique is to start relating it to something they like. It'd kinda hard for a guy in a Led Zeppelin shirt to stay credible when you point out that Zep wrote songs about Tolkein. The absolute best way to deal with bullies IME is to laugh at them, make fun of them. If you are funny enough to get other people laughing at the bully he loses all credibility.
Joni-san 02-08-05, 11:02 AM	I, for one, have no compassion towards bullies :headexplo. Normally I'd consider myself a OK sort of guy, but if I got the opportunity to cause the slow, painfull death of bullies (and the way to get away with it), I'd enjoy the irony and hypocrisy of my actions *Insert blasphemous smilie here* Sorry, had to get that out of my system :(. I hope you find a way to solve your problem before it gets to the point where permanent psychological damage sets in. As others have pointed out: Try to get every sort of authority on your side. Wether it be from school, legal (police or lawyer), society (Newspapers?) or something else... like the religious? (Put that fear of God into the little :censored: ) Or try to disrupt the authority of the bullies. A bully that has lost his credibility/ego should be easier to handle. Once again: Sorry :(... My opinions on this topic shouldn't be considered good advice becuase this is one of the few things that makes me very emotional *I should get help*
Thorak 02-08-05, 11:45 AM	And anyone who thinks it's just teasing or you don't mean it or whatever when you pick on someone, let me tell you, those scars can last a whole lot longer than the six years Thorak mentioned. This is life-long emotional trauma we're talking about here. Just to tag on here; I don't claim the 6 years or thereabouts it took me to work through it to be typical, or standard, or any such thing. I benefited from moving to a new place, where my new school and specifically the people in it were really nice. After Junior High, I entered high school in the best school in the city; we knew we were a mishmash of different groups, nobody claimed to be the "it" group, and the jocks took it upon themselves to beat the snot out of anyone from another school who screwed with anyone from ours, whether they were a fellow jock or smelly nerd-boy. And it wasn't my school, because 3 years later when my sister went through, that sense of community was gone. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't as great a place as it had been. In short; I was damn lucky. And I know it. I was in a supportive, friendly environment, and it took me 3 years to even start to come out of my shell. Even then, I was pretty quiet and reserved, and am to this day, though I get fairly raucous with friends now. A lot of the advice here is good, and having experienced some of it later, I heartily suggest it. One of the best is; take a martial art. My caveat, here, would be to not take it to learn to fight. The moment you start fighting, you're inviting more abuse. Instead, take it so that if things do get pushed that way, you can get out without visiting the hospital, and for two other reasons that are, IMHO, vitally important. First, the confidence knowing you can handle yourself; self-confidence is the absolute single best thing for countering a bully. It's hard to bully someone who doesn't care what you think. Second, and almost as important, community. I've been through the military system, and there is something about being in a group all dressed the same, doing the same thing, and working together to get better at it. A sense of belonging, of not being outside, is great. And adds to that confidence. Best of all, as long as you shower regularly, there's nothing anyone will tease you for while training. You dress the same as everyone, and you're required to act much the same. If you're clean and friendly, people will like you, or at least be open to it. Especially since, as you train, you'll learn how little physical differences mean. A bit heavy? That extra weight gives you stability and the ability to put pressure on the opponent. SKinny? You're harder to tag, and probably more agile. Tall? Leverage. Short? Low center of gravity = opponent flying through the air. Every body shape and type has advantages and disadvantages, and none is better than the other. As an example, I'm a big guy. 6' tall, 300lbs at the moment. I'm not a complete fatass, there's a lot of muscle to me, I'm built more like a linebacker than Homer Simpson. I can bench 270, and I'm out of shape. I've seen NFL linebackers with bigger guts. My point being that while I'm heavy, I'm not horribly out of shape. There was one day in my training, though, when I was sparring with one of the girls in the class, who stood about 5'2 and weighed about 110-120 dripping wet. We're grappling, I go to try and overpower her into a low hip-throw, and she somehow pops her hip out, knocks my knee out of alignment, and I go winging across the room. She biffed me, someone three times her mass, a good 10 feet. We were equally skilled at the time, so it wasn't that she's that much more awesome than me. My point being; martial arts will teach you how little physical differences mean, as it will be teaching that to everyone else in the class. Combine that with similar dressing and acting, and there's little reason for anyone there to have a problem with you. Which gives you a sense of community, which boosts your confidence, which helps you get over the idiots who think it's funny to call you a nerd.
deusxmachina 02-08-05, 06:18 PM	I forgot about the person who said he's had some pretty serious bullying but the school principal or whomever wouldn't do anything about it. Find out who is above that guy in your district and tell him what's up. If he doesn't care, go higher. If it's a serious issue and you make enough noise, someone will do something about it, including giving a lesson to the under-staff about how to correctly do their jobs. The same thing works for settling car insurance claims, by the way.
Razoreface 02-08-05, 09:28 PM	EX 1: The undesireable nickname This one is the easiest to implement. If you have acquired some name people have taken to calling you that bothers you, simpily start responding to that name as if it were your own. It's no fun to call someone something that they're going to just respond to normally. It won't take effect immediately, in fact, the frequency of the name might increase--temporarily. Fear not, this is just a sign that it is in its final throes. The use will soon dissapate. Keep with it. Remember to always respond to it that way. Just incase someone tries again at a later date--niping it in the bud before it has a chance to do anything. Oddly, that's where my nick is from... I did something very odd once, in an Art class. I got bugged about it for a while, and eventually I figured out that it's because it kind of freaked out a lot of people. After that, I started answering to it. Happily. Freaked people out more, and I'd even once in a while bring it up myself around the people who originally harassed me with it, and I guess they decided it was too creepy, and they avoided me for a few years.
thasis 02-08-05, 10:02 PM	I have rarely ever had any problems with being picked on for playing D&D. Atleast not since I hit grade 8 this year. The only people who pick on me are a bunch of nerds trying to make up there nerdiness by taunting other nerds. Kinnda sad realy. They actualy scared one of my friends away from playing D&D by harrasing him and saying they wouldn't be his friend if he played D&D. He quit the group unfourtnetly. I get teased about everything else though. People spread lies (AKA Rumurs) about me all the time, I'm quite often called a *** (when I'm not) and I've been physically threatened numereous times. Not very nice. All I can say is soon high school will be over and by everyone I have talked to people who were the diffrent ones will have a real life past high school. Just be diffrent and pretend they don't exsist. I dosn't work for me but it works for my other friends.
Khelvaster 02-08-05, 10:25 PM	Join the football team. Then join the wrestling team. I did it, and I have never been teased about my geekiness. The only danger with wrestling is jokes such as "I bet you joined wrestling so you could roll around on the floor with hot, sweaty guys". Nobody picks on wrestlers, except for the pu$$ies. Don't be a pu$$y, and you will stop people from making fun of you.
Callista 02-08-05, 10:51 PM	Get your own clique. It's easier being on the bottom rung if you know the other people who also are. And then you realize that "bottom rung" is a definition that was forced on you by the "popular" people--which means you don't have to live with it! I have my own group--half girls, half guys. Frankly, it's a geek utopia. We play D&D; we go to ren faires, we go around in cloaks and elf ears. There's the fan-fic writers and the Euchre players and the guys who know how to launch a water balloon five hundred feet with a trebuche. There's the people with folders and folders full of writing, waiting to be published; and there's the people just beginning to figure out what may be the start of new scientific theories. We've talked for hours about everything from Civil War strategies to Renaissance writers. We're drama nerds and fantasy geeks... scientists, writers, artists: geeky to the max. And yes--they bully us. But so what? They're focused on popularity; they're so focused on "looking good" that they forget who they are: We know who we are, and aren't afraid to show it, no matter what they think. They believe you have to do things right; we believe you have to do the right thing. They believe in getting the girls or finding "a cute boyfriend"... we believe in honor. The people who accept me are fat, thin, Asian, white, Jewish, smart, or average... they have mental illnesses and social problems... they wear all black or frilly dresses or the same T-shirt two days in a row... they're missionaries' kids or home-schoolers or outcasts. There's the drama kids and the writers and the girl who calls herself The Pope... there's the guy who's going to be a missionary and the six ROTC cadets... there are four engineers and three writers and the people with ADD or Asperger's or PTSD or chronic depression... The only requirement for us to accept someone is that they'll accept us. We think that's a fair deal. Our group and its auxiliaries has grown from five or six people, in the early days, to over thirty today. We've learned to appreciate differences. We've learned the value of the individual. We've learned how to see each other as people, regardless of race or gender or differences of opinion. We've learned how important it is to believe in something more than yourself. We've learned the power of solidarity. And we're going to change the world. All they're going to do is become accountants and lawyers, grow old, and die. I can live with that.
Nomad4life 02-08-05, 10:58 PM	I have my own group--half girls, half guys. So you hang out with hermaphrodites? (Sorry, I’m in an uber-goofy mood tonight and couldn’t resist.)
thasis 02-08-05, 11:04 PM	Get your own clique. It's easier being on the bottom rung if you know the other people who also are. And then you realize that "bottom rung" is a definition that was forced on you by the "popular" people--which means you don't have to live with it! I have my own group--half girls, half guys. Frankly, it's a geek utopia. We play D&D; we go to ren faires, we go around in cloaks and elf ears. There's the fan-fic writers and the Euchre players and the guys who know how to launch a water balloon five hundred feet with a trebuche. There's the people with folders and folders full of writing, waiting to be published; and there's the people just beginning to figure out what may be the start of new scientific theories. We've talked for hours about everything from Civil War strategies to Renaissance writers. We're drama nerds and fantasy geeks... scientists, writers, artists: geeky to the max. And yes--they bully us. But so what? They're focused on popularity; they're so focused on "looking good" that they forget who they are: We know who we are, and aren't afraid to show it, no matter what they think. They believe you have to do things right; we believe you have to do the right thing. They believe in getting the girls or finding "a cute boyfriend"... we believe in honor. The people who accept me are fat, thin, Asian, white, Jewish, smart, or average... they have mental illnesses and social problems... they wear all black or frilly dresses or the same T-shirt two days in a row... they're missionaries' kids or home-schoolers or outcasts. There's the drama kids and the writers and the girl who calls herself The Pope... there's the guy who's going to be a missionary and the six ROTC cadets... there are four engineers and three writers and the people with ADD or Asperger's or PTSD or chronic depression... The only requirement for us to accept someone is that they'll accept us. We think that's a fair deal. Our group and its auxiliaries has grown from five or six people, in the early days, to over thirty today. We've learned to appreciate differences. We've learned the value of the individual. We've learned how to see each other as people, regardless of race or gender or differences of opinion. We've learned how important it is to believe in something more than yourself. We've learned the power of solidarity. And we're going to change the world. All they're going to do is become accountants and lawyers, grow old, and die. I can live with that. This is probally the most intellegent thing you'll see posted in this whole entire thread. Listen to him. He has inspired me to live my life and stop giving a rats ass what others think. Well not realy. But it sure is inspiring.
Callista 02-08-05, 11:08 PM	Drat, Nomad4life, and I even tried to edit the post to try to make it sound less like we were a bunch of hermaphrodites and more like the truth of the matter: We're a mundane, mixed-gender group... sorry about any weird thoughts I might've given you. :blush: I think I need to get some tutoring from those writers I mentioned! Thasis--thanks for the compliment... :P Now, if I can just use that intelligence on my next modern physics test, I'll be happy...
Nomad4life 02-08-05, 11:12 PM	Drat, Nomad4life, and I even tried to edit the post to make it obvious we weren't hermaphrodites!!! I need to get some tutoring from those writers I mentioned. Thasis--thanks for the compliment... :P Now, if I can just use that intelligence on my next modern physics test, I'll be happy... It was just some lighthearted goofiness I took when the grammatical attack of opportunity presented itself. You actually write better than most of my COLLEGE students. Really, I found your post to be intelligent and insightful. I hope others see it.
skywyze 02-09-05, 02:39 AM	*coughs* Those who think they can, try. Those who think they can’t, don’t. Those who help both, teach. I know, because I am a teacher. Yeh, sorry about that. I get so angry sometimes. But I still wouldn't rely on teachers to solve the problems of harassment between students.
qstor 02-09-05, 08:58 AM	recluce, there's RPGA games at Blue Dragon in shelby township next weekend. You and your friends are welcome to come down. Its like 30 minutes if you can get a ride. Mike
Gorey 02-09-05, 10:07 AM	I had to deal with this crap in junior high and high school and it sucks. Period. Sucks on fire. Much of the advice here is solid, and are things I wish I had done- working out (far easier than many think), martial arts, solace in friends, etc. The only thing I'd add is to remember that High School is temporary. Two more years is a very, very short span of time when compared to the rest of your life; it feels like forever, right now, because you are young. Focus on your future, bust your ass with grades, and show those ****ers you can make something of yourself. Anyone who tells you that 'no, high school is a magic time, you're doing something wrong!' can go screw. I'm 34 years old now, and I run the business I work at. I still play RPGs on a regular basis. My own staff teases me about it now and then, but the tone is completley different- 'our boss is such a crazy nerd, damn' kind of thing. And the ability to say 'Yep, I'm a geek. Keep it up so I can fire you' (evil smile) never gets old.
happycows 02-09-05, 10:31 AM	I am in high school currently. I don't get bullied on; I play dnd after school and like once or twice a week at most. Usually I'll have sex afterschool or take a girl out someplace. I had been threatened once by a guy for screwing his gf... he said he'd mess me up and him and two of buddies followed me after school and told me to give them my bag. I refused and I gripped my scissors which I kept on the side of my bag to easily draw out. Lez just say it was pretty obvious I was getting ready to shank him and that he wasn't ready to die that day.
Levis 02-09-05, 10:47 AM	I am in high school currently. I don't get bullied on; I play dnd after school and like once or twice a week at most. Usually I'll have sex afterschool or take a girl out someplace. I had been threatened once by a guy for screwing his gf... he said he'd mess me up and him and two of buddies followed me after school and told me to give them my bag. I refused and I gripped my scissors which I kept on the side of my bag to easily draw out. Lez just say it was pretty obvious I was getting ready to shank him and that he wasn't ready to die that day. Wow. What a man, I only hope one day I can be like you. :rolleyes:
Mootilator 02-09-05, 11:24 AM	That was one friggin' unfortunate post, where the desired outcome is precisely 180 degrees opposite of what the REAL outcome was.
Ivid 02-09-05, 11:26 AM	Some things about this thread: 1. I am absolutely marvelled about that overwhelming solidarity between D&D players from all around the world! :fight!: We Dragonslayers got to stick together!! You mess with one, you mess with all!! 2. I am somewhat relieved that I am not the only *gonna-be, but that not the matter* TEACHER on these boards. :) 3. Mobbing has no reason or cause. People who do that use every thing they can find against you. As we live in a law system, destroying them is out of question. So, the only thing you can do is to gain their respect; there are two ways to do that: Make them FEAR you or make them ADMIRE you. The first way *fighting them or threatening them* is faster, but more risky. I personally try to solve my problems in the other way. If the real reason to bully you is simply that in their eyes you look different our that your are simply to weak to defend yourself, maybe it is a good idea to work on what they consider your weaknesses. If they have no weak point to attack, they might leave. ------------------------------------------------------------ Getting bullied by *occasionally fat and later very ugly dumb* gorillas is something I think everyone has had to face during his childhood. Personally, I have to tell that I, too, was a weak boy who enjoyed it more to read a book that to *sharpen the body*and occassionally got bullied just because some people thought they just could. Now, about 8 years after the incidents, I occasionally meet those people in bars or discos, whereever. I am now a famed :heehee martial arts teacher in my town and I sometimes see a glimpse of fear in the eyes of the people that found it so attracting to mess up with me when we were children. *Although I am just what I always was - a peaceful bookworm with no intention to provoke anyone* I know that I always was smarter than that bunch of idiots *one them of is now working at a fast-food restaurant full -time, no joke*. ;) In spite of that, my self-confidence to face them without fear came only by doing sport. So, maybe you can accept my advice: If they really frighten you and don't just annoy you like every else jerk that's out there, just start a self - defence system that fits for you. That will make you more athletic (well, er..., I my case, it actually didn't :turkey: ) and show you how to manage a conflict (with no or few violence, if possible :)). Hope to have been of any help! Rafael
Stark Raven 02-09-05, 12:26 PM	Allow me to comment on a few things.... no, there is too much. Allow me to sum up. :clap: @ Callista :rofl: @ Gorey and :nonono: @ happycows There, that should just about cover it.
Tealgorthian 02-09-05, 12:31 PM	After doing a quick skim of the thread, I have to say I probably got off easy in high school. Freshman year was utter hell for me, as it is for alot of D&D playing people, I suppose. The first part of my 10th grade year was too. Then one day, I was sitting in Biology, and my biggest tormentor was having trouble with a lab. So I walked over and helped him without a word. After I showed him how to do it, I said "If you have any more trouble, come and get me. I'm already done." He stared after me for a minute, then later came over and apologized for being an ass. The next time someone tried to pick on me, he rammed their head into a locker, and the bullying stopped. He never expected me to do his work for him, he never really expected me to help him again, but because I did, he felt guilty. After that, I gained some kinda school wide rep as a science genius, and had people I didnt ever know asking me questions.
Nomad4life 02-09-05, 12:54 PM	I am in high school currently. I don't get bullied on; I play dnd after school and like once or twice a week at most. Usually I'll have sex afterschool or take a girl out someplace. I had been threatened once by a guy for screwing his gf... he said he'd mess me up and him and two of buddies followed me after school and told me to give them my bag. I refused and I gripped my scissors which I kept on the side of my bag to easily draw out. Lez just say it was pretty obvious I was getting ready to shank him and that he wasn't ready to die that day. :rofl: This might be the goofiest thing I’ve ever read on a D&D MB. :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :looloo:
SpiritGlyph 02-09-05, 01:21 PM	I am in high school currently. I don't get bullied on; I play dnd after school and like once or twice a week at most. Usually I'll have sex afterschool or take a girl out someplace. I had been threatened once by a guy for screwing his gf... he said he'd mess me up and him and two of buddies followed me after school and told me to give them my bag. I refused and I gripped my scissors which I kept on the side of my bag to easily draw out. Lez just say it was pretty obvious I was getting ready to shank him and that he wasn't ready to die that day. Attempt to disbelieve... success!
Chronin 02-09-05, 03:14 PM	So i dont get mocked me and my gaming group have a code name when talking about D&D, we call it "further english"
Razoreface 02-09-05, 05:48 PM	Allow me to comment on a few things.... no, there is too much. Allow me to sum up.. *snicker* He never expected me to do his work for him, he never really expected me to help him again, but because I did, he felt guilty. After that, I gained some kinda school wide rep as a science genius, and had people I didnt ever know asking me questions. Sometimes I find myself surprised how people can be turned by something as simple to create as guilt... While I never had a former tormenter actually go to bat for me, I probably wouldn't have let it happen anyway, but that's actually what really completely ended the last of my tormenting midway through grade 11, and grade 12. I was a assigned as a tutor for Tech 11/12, which back then was mostly teaching Windows, and everyone in the Financial Accounting 12 classes wanted to see the work of either me, or a guy who'd I'd been sort of friends with since elementary school, another off and on bullying victim. We were the only two people who were actually passing that class on our own, so some people I guess started seeing our value. People still didn't particularly like me, but they left me alone unless they needed some help, and then they were at least fake-friendly about it.
Tealgorthian 02-09-05, 05:58 PM	While I never had a former tormenter actually go to bat for me, I probably wouldn't have let it happen anyway[...] I was 5'9" and weighing at a total of 115 pounds, soaking wet. The guy about to stomp a mudhole in me was 6'4" and 215 pounds of solid muscle. The only class he passed was Weight Lifting. While I am somewhat brave, I'm not stupid, nor suicidal. After all, it didnt take alot of knowledge of physics to know it would hurt like hell if he hit me ;p Overall, the best way to deal with bullies, by and large, is to show you are capable of something they arent, in a matter that doesnt **** them off. If you **** them off, you'd be in a situtation were they demanded you do the work -for them- or suffer worse bullying.
GreyLord 02-09-05, 06:21 PM	Well, as I said earlier concerning the making fun of...the being nice IS the best way. Anyone who thinks that being made fun of will be ended by someone insulting those making fun of them, of fighting, is in for a big surprise. I knew a weird kid who thought like that, stabbed a friend of mine. I heard about two other kids that got guns and shot up a whole school. One word... PSYCHOs. It sounds to me that those calling that someone should start fights, or that they started fights are really full of BS...either that or REALLY need mental help from a psychologist. Anyone who is saying fighting is the way to end bullying...well, if the person is ONLY a bully that might be right, but if that person just happens to know what they are doing, and done quite a bit of street fighting, unless you want to commit crimes...they are going to beat the snot out of you. If you commit a crime...well...even I would call that person a LOSER in life. If one can't handle life, well, they really need a psychologist. Perhaps even a Psychiatrist. Promoting a crime IS NOT a good thing. What, you want D&D to have such ideas coming from it. With such suggestions, I'm surprised that WotC hasn't shut this thread down. If one of you does such a thing all it takes is for them to track down this thread here, see the half a dozen of you promoting violence, and they'll make a connection that D&D 3.5 promotes violence in people. They'll ignore the rest of us that are speaking common sense about becoming more confident in one self, and either ignoring those who are trying to bully or make fun of you as it doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things WHAT they think, or as I have, to be nice to people and it will eventually be reciprocated. Now if those bullies ARE resorting to physical violence (the story about the fractured skull would actually be perfect on this, and I'm surprised that your parents didn't do this, as with most lawyers, this would be an open and shut case against a school district, and a guaranteed couple of MILLION dollar result, with a million for you, and several million for them) means that they are breaking the law (assault and battery) and if they are 17 or 18, means they may even stand the chance to be tried as an adult. If the teachers won't listen, and it is breaking the law, call the local police department. In today's heightened awareness, they should come. If they don't, it's been recorded, if you do attain physical damage, get a lawyer as soon as possible.. With that type of record already there, once again, it's an even more open and shut case...and increases the number of those in trouble. If it's against a police department and the school for ignoring a crime, it's possible state law enforcement will come down. The school at that point will either change it's ways, or a LOT of people will be fired (perhaps they'll be fired anyways). Make the Bully's the ones breaking the law, not you. I'm sorry, after continuing to read posts promoting violent action on page 3, I could barely believe my eyes. What's gotten into kids now days? Perhaps this is why we hear so many accounts about kids shooting up schools and such. They need mental help and no one is helping them. I mean, WOW. I'm shocked at some of the responses, and one could even say appalled. Violent reactions normally ARE breaking the law. DO NOT break the law like that. That is something that will affect you FAR more than a few namecallers. Being nice, and confident in oneself, is a MUCH better option. Okay, now after that, I'll go on to reading page 4, I seem to recall reading something on hermaphrodites!? I suppose I'll read that post now.
Razoreface 02-09-05, 07:06 PM	While I am somewhat brave, I'm not stupid, nor suicidal. I have the advantage of being those from long before highschool. :) Anyone who thinks that being made fun of will be ended by someone insulting those making fun of them, of fighting, is in for a big surprise. To be quite honest, it does work sometimes. Most people who try to intimidate others simply aren't prepared to be presented with real violence. It's worked for me in the past, though not as often as it didn't work, and it takes a great deal of pressing for me to get into much detail about it, because I don't think people should be encouraged to do it, because I've never personally seen it to make things simply get better. Always goes downhill first, and if you were doing something that could be called brandishing a weapon.. it's a pretty good chance that it's going to be a big hill. but if that person just happens to know what they are doing, and done quite a bit of street fighting, unless you want to commit crimes...they are going to beat the snot out of you. The majority of school bullies don't know what they're doing, and don't typically fight much. When I was in school, the people who were bullies and the people who got in fights were very different people. and they'll make a connection that D&D 3.5 promotes violence in people. They'll ignore the rest of us that are speaking common sense about becoming more confident in one self, and either ignoring those who are trying to bully or make fun of you as it doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things WHAT they think Or that bullying causes violence, since it's a violent act in itself, even nonphysical bullying. But the last part is true... people who go off screaming about D&D causing bad things don't matter, and have never made any kind of negative impact on roleplaying. I'm sorry, after continuing to read posts promoting violent action on page 3, I could barely believe my eyes. What's gotten into kids now days? Modern society has some sort of tendency to raise the frequency of sociopaths. There's also a kind of throwback attitude being more prevalent. The 'if someone pushes you, you have to push back' kind of thing. I've even seen parents say those exact words to kids. Perhaps this is why we hear so many accounts about kids shooting up schools and such. They need mental help and no one is helping them. I mean, WOW. I'm shocked at some of the responses, and one could even say appalled. I'd call it progress.. that you were appalled. Most people still seem able to shrug it off, or only be appalled in the moment. Ask someone about Columbine, and they're appalled. Are they doing anything about it? Nope. Are they aware of just how many school shootings there have been in the last twenty years? Nope. Do most people even have a vague idea at the causes? Nope. And watching Bowling for Columbine doesn't count, it was basically wrong about everything except the credits. :) Push people enough, people who were raised in ways that tends to promote a kind of vengeful isolated feeling, they'll push back. Being nice, and confident in oneself, is a MUCH better option. When it comes to people who've been bullied a lot, maybe for a lot longer than just highschool, that tends to be not an option at all. It may sound pretty to tell people that being confident and having friends or people around you will stop all your problems, but really it won't. Not by itself, even if they were capable of doing it. People can't simply spontaneously find self-confidence or even friends, and even if they do manage, more often than not a group of people with shaky confidence will still be pushed around by a single bully. I do remember that quite well, when half a class of tech students were cowed by a single person. Students who were all basically friends, and all had some level of confidence. Fifteen people, pushed around by one, because they were afraid of being hurt.
Escef 02-10-05, 08:42 AM	I think part of the problem is that we don't have enough violence. There was a point in time when you could have a fist fight with someone, and while it didn't solve anything, and you still probably didn't like each other, at least it got the aggression out of your systems in a semi-controlled manner. Now, we are so anti-violence that the kids who would respect that societal stance don't do anything until their psyches can't take any more. So they seem to go from zero to homocidal rampage in 5 seconds. Violence is not a bad thing. It is uncontrolled, unstructured, and/or excessive violence that is bad.
Kuraito 02-10-05, 09:20 AM	Although this has been said before, I was picked on during elementary school alot. It stopped in middle school when i stopped putting up with it, and it stayed away in high school. I played football in high achool, not because i wanted people to stop bullying me, but because i was good at it. I also discovered a love of weightlifting. People in the locker room didn't laugh at me, let alone some random pissant. People really don't want to laugh at your hobbies when your not knows as "That DnD guy" but as "that really strong guy". Honestly, no one messed with me cause they were scared of me. Sometimes someone would make fun of my freinds, i'd ask them to fight and well.....they ran rather than face me. And my buddies on the Football tream respected me not only because i was strong and an assest to the team, but because i was considered the smartest person in the locker room. Also, i never picked on anyone while i was jock and nether did anyone on my team. They actually displayed intrest and respect for my hobbys but when i played magic and one of them asked "Is that pokemon?" i had to supress the urge to beat them. I was lucky enough to be welcomed wholeheartedly in the weightroom, the football feild, the library and room 903, geek central. I honestly can't understand the stereo type of jocks picking on geeks as it just didn't exsist at my school. Anyone who did such a thing promptly got their ass kicked. I know this post isn't very helpful, just wanted to share the fact that many of the things people are saying on this post are a myth to me, I experienced them in elementary school alot, but it disappeared in high school. I never even heard of it happen at my school. I don't know why my school was like that, with jocks and geeks living peacfully side by side, but just so you all know, it does exsist.
Razoreface 02-10-05, 09:50 PM	Sometimes someone would make fun of my freinds, i'd ask them to fight and well.....they ran rather than face me. Fact of life... when there's a bully and a victim, there is a huge disparity in exactly how much each of them are willing to invest in that conflict. Most people who are being victimized are already getting hurt, and so will risk getting hurt to get out of it. A bully is just getting his jollies, and not many people will want to get themselves hurt just for that, once they realize that they can get hurt. I think part of the problem is that we don't have enough violence. I wish I'd said that... you really make a great point. I'm about the age where people my age were really pretty much the last age group where it was common to be physically punished by parents when we did things wrong. When I did something bad, you bet I got whacked for it. Not cruelly, or for no reason, but to let me know in a very clear way that what I'd done wasn't acceptable. And I'm not screwed up from that. Most people I know think I'm probably one of the nicest guys they know. Something which most of the time bugs me. I don't like being the nice guy. But if you go back further, where kids would get strapped (my parents did), real dangerous deadly violence between teens was basically nonexistent... People had manners, they were nice to strangers. Crap like that. Some kids in my stepmother's daycare, they get "quiet time" when they did something wrong. Several of them go into the quiet room, and proceed to tear it apart. They're already in the quiet room, they know they can't go anywhere else, and they know that their parents won't do anything worse.
Aphyosemion 02-10-05, 11:45 PM	Back when I was in school and still nowadays, I keep the fact that I play D&D very quiet. No sense giving the people at work a reason to come give me a wedgie everytime they are on break. -Aphyosemion
AlphaMagic 02-11-05, 12:54 AM	Well being in high school i know what most people are talking about. Luckily i only get the confused people about DnD. Even Luckier of me is that i know who to make freinds with and i made a freind with the strongest biggest guy in school, so any person of any size or strength is going done if they choose to confront me about anything. Then i also have that persona that people dont like to mess with, i know how to metally mess with people and take them down the ranks one by one. I have strong social powers even though im very low on the brackets weird aint it. Well anyone Keep your strong allies close and keep your enemy even closer to learn there sectrets MUHAHA.
Glanoric 02-11-05, 03:03 AM	I never got bullied, I guess I was lucky that, even being a hugely massive nerd, I got along with people well enough. So here's some advice, and a bit of hope. First the advice. In high school, my D&D group was the sterotypical D&D group. Nerdy fat pasty virgins. However, the D&D group was just a subgroup of the Magic players, of which there were around 12 of us. Size matters, a big group of big guys is very imposing, to anybody. This was also furthered along by the fact that we all were into metal so we wore band shirts and flannel jacktes all the time. This is probably the most important part. Pass your bluff check. If you're into metal, congratulations, you can dodge the picked on bullet. Dress like you live for the mosh pitt. In the post Columbine high school, bullies are picking their targets a lot more carefully. To the easily tricked minds, they equate metal to school shoot out, and they know that they can't beat a gun. Don't go for the goth look though, not unless you're built. It's likely to just get you picked on more. Meke-up makes for an easy target. If you're not into metal, you're only recourse is to consolidate into some hugantous group of total nerdy devastation. Which is great, it means more people to play with. Be on the lookout for cool freshman. And now the ray of hope. Nobody cares outside of high school. Just last week, I gave a speech on D&D in my speech class (telling the story of one of my characters), which the people found very interesting. One guy even remarked that he wishes he was that creative. And this wasn't some fancy pants Uni or anything, just a plain old communitty college. Now that video games are becoming much more mainstream, gaming in general is becoming a lot more accepted.
necromancer787 02-11-05, 04:05 PM	I'm 15yr. old freshman. I go to high school and yes, there is a good deal of bullying regarding D&D but I always notice only a select few get bullied. If you want to play D&D and retain the respect you recieve from others you have to: 1.Assert yourself. like 70% of all the cases I see are cases of total intrusive doormats who just keep taking abuse for nothing. 2.Keep roleplaying on the low. Don't go around carrying your lucky d20 all the time it just makes you a target. 3. Stop thinking of D&D as a "Nerdy game" once you fall into their sterotypes it's all over. Those who are already nerds and just feel like "Oh well I'm already screwed might as well..."
Azual 02-11-05, 04:35 PM	This is advice that sounds good on paper, and appeals to the senses of ethics, morally, and the freedom of the individual. In practice, it can be a sociological death sentence. the reasont hsi will fail is, frankly, things that look good on paper automatically assume that all people are either really dumb, or actually intelligent. Unfortunately, 'be who you want to be' assumes that every one is the former hippie counselor who is at your high school. This is sadly, not the case. What i do, i have my own friends, and if a bully decides to pick on me, we have numbers. And counselors. In Georgia (where i live) three bullying violations an you are expelled.
Monster_Jam 02-11-05, 04:40 PM	Fight Back at Every Opportunity.
HomebrewedMonster 02-11-05, 04:53 PM	I agree with greylord, I was that guy in highschool. I was a good guy to every group and cliche in highschool and because of it I was respected. I was the funny dork that no one really bothered. Now advise on a couple of comments that were stated in this thread so far. - Ignoring them: this can work, but the best thing you can do is laugh and make fun of yourself. If you can laugh at what they say and keep the humor going. I used to do this all the time, roll another joke off theirs and then return a little joke back at them. Example, "Hey dork, so how was Legolas last night?" Your response, "Pretty good, although he hates sharing me with your sister." -Contacting authorities: this is a great idea, sure it might not work right off the bat. It may only antaginism more at first, coming to hate you until you do it again. If they want to continue, just say something along the lines of, "I here my lawyer calling, he's talking about taking more of your parents money." -Releasing Nerd Rage: I did this in 9th grade, it worked. I smashed someone's face into a locker and I was left alone from then on. It also helped that I gained 60 pounds and 8 inches between 9th and 10th grade. The only problem with this is most jocks that have their ego hurt by getting beaten by a nerd will want to try to get his dignity back, so if you go this route you have to make sure he has no chance of getting it back. Meaning you have to whoop his ass so badly he doesn't want to try to get it back. I do not recommend this method. -Martial Arts: Great idea, it will increase you confidence and if anything every does happen you will be able to defend yourself. It will also teach you disipline, which is great for keeping your emotions in check. I encourage martial arts 100%, unlike karate kid, most dojos are full of nice respectable people that generally will help you. Its also a nice place to get a lawyer. :D -Insults in Latin: Bad idea, insulting someone in an obsurce language will not make you look cool or more intelligent than your bullies. It will just egg them on more. If your going to insult them, make sure they can understand what your saying. If the bullies are really stupid don't say, "Shut your mouth you ignorant moron.", for this may be too complex. Use simple insults, like, "And you are stupid. Now we are can agree, I'm a nerd and you're stupid." Also I'd love to get an update on what's going on. Have you employed any of these tactics yet?
Damien_Hiro 02-11-05, 04:53 PM	If you did not play D&D, believe me, they would find something else to tease you with. Whether you were overweight, too skinny, short, tall, smart or dumb, High School teenagers are the lowest form of mankind, next to racists and bigots. They all abuse people that are not like them or just like them. I was picked on because I was Asian. I was 1 of 3 and them, the other one was my younger brother. Just consider it lucky that yours is a choice and not a fact. I joined the Army and married a prom queen. I am confident in myself and am comfortable with who I am. You should be too. Enjoy your hobby and do not let anyone dictate your self image. God has a funny way of punishing and rewarding people.
Shapedoctor 02-11-05, 05:05 PM	Look people in the eyes. Be friendly about it unless you're in an obvious confrontation with them. If you really think things might get physical stare at them and try to tell them with your eyes that if you fight one of you is going to the hospital and the other one to jail. Don't be concerned about what's going to happen to who, both of you will lose if you fight, and if they feel these "vibes" they'll probably back off.
Bard06 02-13-05, 09:49 PM	However, look at the bright side. If you're lucky you aren't the druggy RPG player hopefully, which means that you probably will have a bright future of lots of money. Ya i know a couple of those guys.......i feel very sorry for them
twad 02-13-05, 10:05 PM	like an other one said before... after high school.. nobody will care about if you were popular/played DnD or not.. most people get maturity with time. for some reason in high school some people feel obligated to test their "power" and influence over others.. maybe this is what they call "to forge his identity".. some do it some way, some in another. sorry for my english.
angryman 02-13-05, 11:32 PM	I am in high school currently. I don't get bullied on; I play dnd after school and like once or twice a week at most. Usually I'll have sex afterschool or take a girl out someplace. I had been threatened once by a guy for screwing his gf... he said he'd mess me up and him and two of buddies followed me after school and told me to give them my bag. I refused and I gripped my scissors which I kept on the side of my bag to easily draw out. Lez just say it was pretty obvious I was getting ready to shank him and that he wasn't ready to die that day. With a name like happycows, I thought you were such a nice boy (or girl). How about not regaling us with your lurid tales of debauchery and riffraff? And what the hell is shanking? Hamstringing? You were ready to hamstring some guy with blunt scissors? For being (rightfully) angry that you were sleeping with his girlfriend? *slap* Get a hold of yourself man! Learn yoga or something.
Damien_Hiro 02-14-05, 08:51 AM	*slap* Get a hold of yourself man! Learn yoga or something. That is so funny coming from you. If angryman can be at peace with himself then there is hope for all of us.
angryman 02-14-05, 09:03 AM	That is so funny coming from you. If angryman can be at peace with himself then there is hope for all of us. Er...hmmm... :headexplo Let's just all GET ALONG ALRIGHT! IS IT THAT FRICKEN HARD?? hehe
Razoreface 02-14-05, 09:01 PM	Shanking.. ie, "to shank" is just to stab someone with something that is basically an improvised weapon. It comes from using the shank of an object... it's basically a "prison culture is really cool" reference. Happycows goes to a strange school... my gaming, along with probably some other stuff, meant that all but two girls in my school avoided me like a plague. Unless, of course, they needed help on something, and those two other girls only because they knew me from way way back. I dated where I lived, fortunately quite removed from where I went to highschool, and took care to keep that apart from my highschool life, because I didn't want to be referred to as that freaky gamer guy in two school districts. :) Blond guy with the Cutlass was semi-objectional, but not really negative, and at that age, being known for your car is about the best a guy like me could hope for.
angryman 02-14-05, 09:55 PM	Shanking.. ie, "to shank" is just to stab someone with something that is basically an improvised weapon. It comes from using the shank of an object... it's basically a "prison culture is really cool" reference. Now I am wiser, but more disturbed. Thank you. ;)
Darth K'Trava 02-15-05, 07:18 PM	That is so funny coming from you. If angryman can be at peace with himself then there is hope for all of us. Er...hmmm... :headexplo Let's just all GET ALONG ALRIGHT! IS IT THAT FRICKEN HARD?? hehe I think he meant that as tongue-in-cheek.... at least, that was how I took it. ;)
angryman 02-15-05, 10:00 PM	I think he meant that as tongue-in-cheek.... at least, that was how I took it. Er...my response was also tongue-in-cheek...sorry to have caused offence... :pbbbtt:
Razoreface 02-15-05, 10:19 PM	Now I am wiser, but more disturbed. Thank you. ;) Such is my existence. To enlighten and disturb people. :D
Sulaco 02-16-05, 10:14 AM	I am in high school currently. I don't get bullied on; I play dnd after school and like once or twice a week at most. Usually I'll have sex afterschool or take a girl out someplace. I had been threatened once by a guy for screwing his gf... he said he'd mess me up and him and two of buddies followed me after school and told me to give them my bag. I refused and I gripped my scissors which I kept on the side of my bag to easily draw out. Lez just say it was pretty obvious I was getting ready to shank him and that he wasn't ready to die that day. :rofl: Man, with an imagination like that you don't need D&D. :D
Mootilator 02-16-05, 11:05 AM	:rofl: Man, with an imagination like that you don't need D&D. :D Agreed. I mean, girls have, like, cooties and stuff. I don't even want to be AROUND them, much less have teh sehks with them. :D
Damien_Hiro 02-16-05, 12:12 PM	Agreed. I mean, girls have, like, cooties and stuff. I don't even want to be AROUND them, much less have teh sehks with them. :D Yeah I coupled with my wife once, just to concieve a daughter, and it was gross. I think she gave me her COOTIES. I still feel dirty and that was 5ive years ago.
Mootilator 02-16-05, 01:44 PM	Yeah I coupled with my wife once, just to concieve a daughter, and it was gross. I think she gave me her COOTIES. I still feel dirty and that was 5ive years ago. Remove thyself from my presence, foul one! :rofl:
Ivid 02-16-05, 04:18 PM	What are COOTIES?! *I am no native speaker* Sounds disgusting...
Mootilator 02-16-05, 06:03 PM	What are COOTIES?! *I am no native speaker* Sounds disgusting... "Cooties" was a term used by children to express nastiness. Little boys generally think little girls are nasty and vice versa. Cooties aren't actually creatures like lice, but they are more like the general feeling of awfulness when someone you loathe touches you. Or something like that. :D It's not to be confused with the term "cooters". That's an entirely different subject and is not as abstract a term as cooties. Girls do, in fact, have cooters. :bounce: :rofl:
Ivid 02-16-05, 06:12 PM	"Cooties" was a term used by children to express nastiness. Little boys generally think little girls are nasty and vice versa. Cooties aren't actually creatures like lice, but they are more like the general feeling of awfulness when someone you loathe touches you. Or something like that. :D It's not to be confused with the term "cooters". That's an entirely different subject and is not as abstract a term as cooties. Girls do, in fact, have cooters. :bounce: :rofl: :tiphat: Thank you! As a (supposed) future English teacher, such info is especially valuable for me!!! :) I suppose then *cooters* are the girls' :twocents: ... :drool:
Mootilator 02-16-05, 06:17 PM	Nope...guess again. There's not many choices left, by the way. ;) Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking?
Slider33 02-16-05, 06:38 PM	The Dark One: /cut/just because they were too lazy to take a shower. These people deserve to be insulted. If people treat them with tolerance and understanding, the problem will never be solved. Also, people who take themselves too seriously need to be taken down a peg (or two) every now and then. Really, we're all just monkey that wear pants and have good credit, right? Well, right here you are imposing judgement on a lot of things you don't really have a right to judge about. How do you know why they smell? Who are you to fix the problem? Maybe they had to get up and work in the pig farm that morning before they had a chance to shower, or perhaps they don't have running water where they live? How do you know? I met some people that really were too lazy to take a shower. And I knew it because I lived in the same dorm as them in college. I saw them every day all the time. But in high school, not so much. Most likely people aren't going to know everything that's going on with someone. Just try to think about the reasons before you judge them "deserving", that's all. Even insulting people you know very well, may hurt them on the inside and not even show it. All I'm saying is, Just be careful when you do this. The only people that really "deserve" getting insulted are people who are blatantly hurting other people. And yeah, they do deserve it. Back to the original poster, and to others who are getting picked on: This is a tough situation. Being bullied has to be one of the hardest things a person has to deal with in their entire life. And doing what's right is VERY tricky, there are a lot of pitfalls. The biggest thing I can advise to you, GET CONFIDENCE, and show it. Carry yourself with pride and confidence. It's something that everyone can see, even the bullies. But mainly, everyone else will notice this too. Whatever you have to do to become more confident do it. That can be a greatmany things. If you're a strong internal person, maybe you can mentally overcome it, take it when it comes, and live with it and move on. Martial arts: This is a good thing I think. I don't *condone* violence, but sometimes it can't be avoided. It can't hurt to know how to defend yourself, any little bit helps, plus it gives you confidence. Like another has said previously, I think Wing Chun Kung Fu is a great one to learn. It's also good for females. It's an art that you can be effective even if you are not physically big, or strong. It's a good "street defense" kind of art. But I won't get into a debate over the best martial art or anything, there are many many effective ones. Take whatever you have access to if you can. I personally like Wing Chun. Even if you're not athletic, try going out and joining some athletics. Even football (or especially football/wrestling etc.) Physical sports like that, even if you're not any good. You don't have to be amazing at something to gain respect. If you try hard in spite of your size, and suffer all of the conditioning and training that everyone else suffers, respect can be earned! If you try hard, hit hard and make an effort you'll gain respect. You may never be the biggest or strongest, but playing hard, doing your best and showing that you have guts, that's the key. You'll take a beating, but at least this is in a controlled environment. It's a tool to earn respect. Unless the football program (or whatever team) is pretty bad, most coaches at least will promote a strong team "family" attitude. Even if you sit the benches you're still a part of the team. It's something to consider but I'll leave it at that. No one said overcoming this was going to be easy right? I shared the same problem as you, but I was lucky enough to overcome it when I got to high school. I had my fair share of "bullies" that did pick on me for whatever reason. I was a very popular and athletic guy in high school, and didn't have any problems from anyone from 9th grade and up. But, I had to put up with a bunch of bullying when I was in Jr. High. Still the same thing. I had to deal with it in my own way at the time. I was lucky I was very athletic so I could directly compete with my "bullies" via sports. Either beating them or earning enough respect from everyone else that it stopped it completely. If you're like me, you're not the "quick comeback/insult" kind of guy. And I know I never will be. So you'll have to find another way. Otherwise, if you think you can hold your own, and not make a fool out of yourself that might work. Another solution is, find the right people to become friends with. Not all popular people are jerks (although it may be different nowadays...). Find that person that doesn't adhere to any clique-ish bounds, someone popular or even friends with the bullies (or closely associated with them). (I think this was suggested earlier). If they are like me, they'll know what it's like to be picked on, or were once bullied themselves. And most likely people who have been bullied would never ever *be* a bully. If you become friends with people like that they can help, or provide good leverage. Having a friend in "high places" may give you the leverage you need. Don't look towards the opposite sex. More often than not this will invite MORE competition to your doorstep and you don't want that. If you have the hot girlfriend, while that may make you popular just makes you a much bigger target to shoot down. And I'll re-iterate, DON'T MAKE YOURSELF A TARGET. 99% of the stuff I got bullied for was because I would make myself vulnerable and a target. I either did something stupid, or said something stupid, or acted stupid. If playing DnD, or having your DnD books with you, or Live-action RPing makes you a target, then take it somewhere else. Enjoy it with your friends, but take it somewhere private. Don't give up your passions for other people, but don't willingly put yourself in a place where you know it will make you vulnerable. Become a "closet DnD geek" if you have to. Unfortunately, DnD is still one of the things people get ridiculed over. If you are going to do that when they can see ya, then expect to get the repercussions of it, hence the bullying. I know, it's a ridiculous world we live in. Other than that, just try to fit in, or blend into the background. (thus making yourself not a target) Yes I know, it's fundamentally stupid to "try and fit in with the norm" you shouldn't *have* to blah blah blah...But this is about survival. Wanna stop the bullying? this is a possible tool to try and do that to get by. Sorry, that was a bit long but I hope I can help. It was a bit of a testimony, because I used what worked for me. Bullies generally only understand "physical force" concepts, so you almost have to "get physical" to earn respect from most guys. Either that, or you just have to be so overwhelmingly mentally intimidating that they can't insult you. If you're just that smart and quick it shouldn't be too hard to throw some insults back at them. But this is hard to do, and you may have to have some ground to stand on already with the rest of the student population. Hope some of my advice helps, you're not alone. Bullies are the lowest scum of the earth in my opinion. Good luck to you guys out there.
Razoreface 02-16-05, 07:12 PM	The biggest thing I can advise to you, GET CONFIDENCE, and show it. Carry yourself with pride and confidence. It's something that everyone can see, even the bullies. But mainly, everyone else will notice this too. Chicks notice it too. I just felt like throwing that in. Whatever you have to do to become more confident do it. That can be a greatmany things. As a general curiosity.. since I know a bunch of people are going to read that and shake their heads in a confused way, what do people do to make themselves be more confident? In a lot of cases, people who are having the problems commonly sway just a little, or way into social disorder territory, so things that people hear all the time aren't going to cut it. When it's a guy who's heart rate hits 120 when he starts thinking about having to talk to people (see your doctor, you have an anxiety disorder), get some friends, or try and get some confidence, you might as well a blind guy to try eating some carrots. :)
The_Grikk 02-16-05, 07:21 PM	I was bullied in high school (not for D&D mind you), but bullied non-the less. I hate to discourage you but once you are a target of bullies you will remain as such until they get bored. Nothing you can do will stop these people from tormenting you. So the best course of action is to 1. Ignore them to an extent. I didn’t let what they said bother me, but NEVER let them touch you. Get into fights over that, once a bully starts to physically harm you its on, I mean bite, claw, pinch, punch EVERYTHING you can do to win the fight. Trust me on this, I was never touched in high school after the fight I got in. Bullies don’t like working for pleasure, they'll simply move on. It was the middle of my freshman year. And a senior tried to throw me in the showers during gym (on a side note I had been taking martial arts for about 2 years by then, but I was still REALLY small), and I fought him to the bone on taking me in. Then his friends tried to help and I just fought harder. Kicking, punching, poking, ripping, spiting, biting. Anyway they gave up, and left. Sure, I was hurt and bruised, but I made my claim. DON’T F* WITH ME! And I was left alone after that. 2. Find some friends that you get along with and simply stay away from others. You don’t need them. You’re better than them anyhow and really shouldn’t want to be friends with them. 3. Everyone says take martial arts. And while this is the best thing you could ever do for yourself (ive been practicing for 8yrs now) it wont help you in a short span of time. Make sure you take a REAL style, and old fashioned one, where the use traditional methods. Non of the American karate crap where you stand in lines and punch at nothing. You'll soon realize that martial arts IS NOT ABOUT VIOLENCE, self-defense, or fighting in any way. That’s all a side effect. Martial arts is about self perfection, form, enlightenment and understanding. On the side you learn how to kill people (this is only if you learn a traditional art from a good teacher though). However it takes YEARS before this will start changing your life, I know, ive been practicing for 8 years and I’m still just starting to understand for myself. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of it and themselves. 4. Realize that it doesn’t matter. non of this does. You are yourself, case closed. At the end of the day that’s all that matters. Get a job, make some money (at the end of high school and my 1st year of college i had 25 grand! Of coarse I transferred to an expensive school and now i have -5 grand.) Let all this roll of you, do what you want and have fun. But learn from this and never become a bully yourself and stand up for others being bullied. That’s what I did/still do now, if I see someone being cornered/bullied or taken advantage of i still up for them. Someone has to stop this crap. I hope I have helped (having been through the problem myself), feel free to email me or IM me if you have any questions. (There should be a link to both either under my name/avatar or in my profile) :cool:
Slider33 02-16-05, 07:33 PM	Quote: Whatever you have to do to become more confident do it. That can be a greatmany things. As a general curiosity.. since I know a bunch of people are going to read that and shake their heads in a confused way, what do people do to make themselves be more confident? That's a very good question, not sure I can really answer since it depends on the person. For me, taking martial arts, playing football and gaining respect from people gave me confidence. Basically, one has to come to terms with their fears, and conquer them. Whether they may be social, physical or mental. Overcoming fears gives confidence. People know what their fears are, the trick is beating that fear. The less you fear, the more confident you are.. I think that's safe to say at least for the most part.
mojo_202 02-16-05, 08:15 PM	I got a great deal of confidence from taking acting classes. I took acting in highschool, when I started I couldn't stand up in front of 2 people and talk. Now I can sing and dance on stage and don't think twice about it. I'm also an excellent DM and as Robin Williams once said, "I do voices." About bullying, I was overweight as a kid. I find that if you make yourself less of a target you can get over bullys. Think of every joke or insult they could possibly come up with against you and throw them out there first. If you can laugh at yourself, they'll give up pretty quick. If you're clever, you can usually turn an insult around pretty quick, if not, ignoring them helps. Hang with your friends, avoid bullys. My biggest strategy was to become as weird and crazy as it gets. I often played "the girl" in class video projects, I make a surprising good drag queen.... I dress up on halloween in whatever crazy getup I can find, I talk about DnD any chance I get. My friends were a good support group and bullies found that everyone was laughing with me already, so there's no target there. I also stand up for those who get bullied, I can't stand bullies. Believe me when I say that most things work themselves out in the end. After highschool, bullies either mature, or go away. It's rare to find adult bullies in the real world.
The_Grikk 02-16-05, 08:56 PM	Believe me when I say that most things work themselves out in the end. After highschool, bullies either mature, or go away. It's rare to find adult bullies in the real world. i believe they turn into a**holes at that point. Lieing, cheating and stealing to get what they want. They also think that they are Gods gift to the world at that point. But fortunaltly, at that stage these people are rarly liked and stick out rather easily. no worries.
Trevor Goodchild 02-16-05, 09:02 PM	Hello everyone, Im 14 and havent had a drink in two months. Wait wrong group. Anyway Im a freshman now, and your problem is one I know very well, but I must say, I am usually the source of bullying, and I do not discriminate on whos face is drowned in a water fountain, especially seeing as a few emo/preppie kids constantly talk by and block my locker. But being a wrestling starter might help. So my advice from that is, violence can be the answer. With me though, people began fearing me to an extent, so Im not really better off than I was when I was the recipeint in middle school. But what works the most for me is the combination of that and natural intelligence. Being stuck in regular biology for not trying in middle school, my class (a freshmen level class) is mostly populated by sophmores. I teach more than my actual teacher, so the class is somewhat dependant on me. For instance, today in class we were discussing probability for gene placement, and to give an example, the question was "If a dice is rolled 60 times, approximately how many times will it come up 6?" As a reflex, not even as a joke, I immediatly asked "But how many sides does the dice have?" The class laughed, I laughed, but no one was called a nerd. If I was, the class average goes down 50%. And like I said, I am more feared than liked, so my circle of friends consists of two people. My best friend, who I assume is literally insane and hilarious but commonly bullied (until I hear about it, in which case I have thrown various people across halls) The other person is a friend of mine who recently found out she was pregnant. The other two people who I can actually call friends go to a private school. And they're the gamer friends, sadly enough. To end this ridiculousness, Im going with be yourself, but make yourself the self who will poison the drinking water if they dont knock it off.
Razoreface 02-16-05, 09:21 PM	Overcoming fears gives confidence. People know what their fears are, the trick is beating that fear. The less you fear, the more confident you are.. I think that's safe to say at least for the most part. What if the person's fear is getting stuffed in a locker, or punched in the face by someone? :) Lacking fear doesn't really make you more confident, confidence is belief in yourself. Pride and trust in yourself, and crap like that.
Escef 02-17-05, 09:50 AM	Lacking fear doesn't really make you more confident, ... Lacking fear makes you stupid and/or suicidal. Fear is a good thing, it tells you that certain things are very bad ideas. And when you go against fear's advice (which is unavoidable from time to time), fear does its best to advise you on getting out without getting severly mauled. And on the topic of bullies going away after high school, well... I've met people with the same personality type who are older than I am (I'm 29). If they don't grow up, they find a way to keep causing problems. They just don't have you available anymore, tis all. Also, some of them die, too. Back in '97 it made front page news when a kid who gave me trouble when I was in school got himself killed. Seems him and a buddy took a machette and tried to mug someone outside a bar. Well, the guy faught them, got the machette and stabbed the punk with it. He staggered off 2 blocks, collapsed, and bled to death. Stupid punk thought he could just continue intimidating people and made the mistake of picking a target who was a bit to belligerant for him. I'm not glad he's dead, but I most certainly didn't mourn his passing either. :whatsthis
Wharin 02-17-05, 10:16 AM	What are COOTIES?! *I am no native speaker* Sounds disgusting... Cootie= Laus (doch es ist kein echter Kaefer) Cooter= Muschi Hopefully that helps a bit
Slider33 02-17-05, 10:21 AM	Well, I guess I'll rephrase what I said about fear. Maybe my point is being missed. Fear is a natural feeling, a survival instinct. Fear does not just go away. I haven't met any people who are fearless. Having no fear is dangerous of course, because you have no sense of danger. I'm not telling you "not to fear" I'm telling you to try and overcome that fear. What I'm trying to say is pretty simple, each fear you overcome, you can build your confidence. Someone asked me how one can go about building confidence, and my answer was: try to overcome your fears. Know how to beat them. Not saying that you still don't fear getting punched in the face, but once you've overcome that fear it is no longer something that will cause you to freeze up in the moment. I'm not saying being confident is going to save you from getting hurt either. Standing up to a bully takes guts, because it may end up in a fight, and the consequences can be very very serious. If you don't fear getting made fun of, then bullying has lost it's effectiveness. If you don't fear the bully, then they'll leave you alone. If you are no longer afraid to stand up to them, most bullies will back off. When I played football, I was afraid of pain. When I toughed it out, I no longer was afraid to hit people, or get hit. Thus I gained confidence in myself. I went up against the toughest guys in school during this time. I am afraid of hieghts, so I went rappelling and rock climbing. Surprisingly I gained confidence in myself, and it spilled out into my social life. Yes, I could have gotten seriously hurt, but I didn't, and I'm more confident for it. I'm still afraid of heights, but I have more confidence now that I've overcome something very difficult. Just getting in good shape will boost confidence, and in this case it doesn't have to be "fear" related. Taking a martial art can reduce your fear of getting in a fight. You learn how to better handle yourself, learn techniques that are good at diffusing situations. If you know how to stop punches and attacks: that punch in the face isn't going to seem so threatening next time. I spar a lot, and while it's nothing like a real fight it's still a little bit of extra practice that can help. Seeing punches come in at full speed, kicks, grappling, feeling the force of the blow, prepares you a little bit more than an untrained person. Fear of rejection is a tough one too. It sucks to get dumped, or turned down for a date but after you get through it, or force yourself to be brave I guarantee you'll be happier with yourself later on. My statement wasn't a cure all for the confidence issue, or a blanket statement. It's merely one tiny aspect of this whole issue, one that I have personal experience with. And hopefully it will help a few people come to grips with what's bothering them on the inside. People may be different from me, but if you're like me, you've regretted not doing a few things in the past. I regret not sticking up for the kid who was getting bullied a long time ago. I regret being afraid of getting in a fight. I regret not being able to handle my own bullies immediately when it happened. Yes, even if it meant putting myself in harms way. It took a long time and a lot of stress to get to the point where I wasn't picked on anymore. And I guarantee, nearly 10 years later I am still bitter about it. I still hate the people who gave me a hard time. Not everyone has that mentality, but I do at least.
Razoreface 02-17-05, 09:48 PM	And on the topic of bullies going away after high school, well... I've met people with the same personality type who are older than I am (I'm 29). If they don't grow up, they find a way to keep causing problems. I know a guy, he's kind of peripheral to people I'm associated with. He's thirty two, older than everyone else by between five and sixteen years. He's still a major bully, constantly pushes a lot of people around, but he actually has major self-image problems. He's basically a literal Napoleonic complex. He's five foot two. Big mouth, bad attitude, but if you know his little tricks, you can back him down. A big one for him is he's afraid of people who are smart, who know how to get away with things, and people who aren't afraid to get hurt. I've always been good at backing him down. He doesn't like scars that I have. Stupid punk thought he could just continue intimidating people and made the mistake of picking a target who was a bit to belligerant for him. I'm not glad he's dead, but I most certainly didn't mourn his passing either. :whatsthis I know that feeling. Two guys who were fairly well known as bullies in my school are dead now, and the third of their little hen house is in prison. He'll be almost 40 when he gets out, and I don't know a single person who feels bad about it. Well, I guess I'll rephrase what I said about fear. Maybe my point is being missed. I was mostly being belligerent. It's a strange habit I have when I'm trying to make people expand on something for whatever reason. Fear of rejection is a tough one too. It sucks to get dumped, or turned down for a date but after you get through it, or force yourself to be brave I guarantee you'll be happier with yourself later on. That's actually my big one. I've never been afraid of a lot of things that most people are. My early life was pretty painful, and I grew past being unafraid of being hurt, but actually tending to enjoy it in a way. I'm not particularly afraid of heights, in pretty good shape, a runner and a sailor, I've always been a little too much of a fighter, and was decent at boxing back when I had the motivation to do it. But people, their reactions to me, or their non-reactions, scare the living crap out of me. Always have. Girls I knew for years, went out with for a few months, some for close to a year, they still scare me. I'm also scared of babies and toddlers, because for some reason their inability to really communicate freaks me out.
Ian Demagi 02-18-05, 01:07 AM	is a good offense. You might ask them if they want to roll up a character and play? Also, some gamer's do fit into a stero type -do you make yourself an easy target? Live action can be pretty obnoxious. I have been sitting at a table playing D & D, and I hate when live action people show no consideration. It has almost come to blows. So you might want to evaluate if your game is out of hand. Also, Bullying is wrong. Throwing down with the bullies will only get you suspended if you are on school property or smashed if you are not physical or used to fighting. If your group is sanctioned by the school, then you have a legit beef to take to the school administration. I have some other ideas, but I am resisting my darker nature. Ian De' Magi
Ivid 02-18-05, 03:26 AM	Nope...guess again. There's not many choices left, by the way. ;) Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking? :) I am living in the small town of Würzburg in Germany. Cootie= Laus (doch es ist kein echter Kaefer) Cooter= Muschi Hopefully that helps a bit :tiphat: Hatte mir's doch fast gedacht... :) Deutsch in der Schule oder als Muttersprache? :) ---------------------------------------------------- I think MARTIAL ARTS is not the right thing. A martial - arts - based SELF DEFENCE PROGRAM would be better. Not only do you get a feeling for what you're doing, you learn how a real combat situation is to be worked out; nothing is more ridicular than those clowns saying *attention! I do karate! repent or die!* Better if people dont know what you're doing - because they might see it as a provocation. However, first talk, then punch! ;) But, really, how are you getting along, starter if the thread?
Razoreface 02-18-05, 05:04 AM	Practical self defense tends to be better, and strangely more practical, than most martial arts. The best way to tell if you're in a practical self defense program, is the instructors keep saying, "And then you run."
Ivid 02-18-05, 07:45 AM	Like I said, it's always better to argue with words and not with fists. Sadly, only people who have spent years doing hand-to-hand-fighting seem to understand it... *Violence never solves problems*
Damien_Hiro 02-18-05, 09:42 AM	*Violence never solves problems* Violence solves everything. I think you may have not used enough violence for your problems. Violence is one of our greatest tools. When I am playing D&D, just like life, I usse violence to solve most of my problems. The problems I do not solve with violence could have been solved with violence, but I deemed them not worthy or I did not have the right "tools" on hand.
Escef 02-18-05, 10:05 AM	Any problem solving method can solve any problem. The only real questions are expediancy, practicality, and neatness. Violence is usually quick, sometimes practical, and rarely (if ever) neat. Talk is rarely quick, sometimes practical, and usually (if not always) neat. Ignoring the problem never works, so it is none of the above. Always talk before using violence, neatness counts. Besides, it might distract them long enough for you to get a surprise hit in. :D A few random quotes: "If brute force isn't getting the job done than you obviously aren't using enough." "Diplomacy is the art of saying, 'Good dog,' while looking for a large rock." "If you can't drop it in two shots, you're dead"..."How about this, if you can't drop it in two shots you probably should've tried talking to it first."
Mootilator 02-18-05, 11:25 AM	I know it is currently en vogue to say violence never solves anything, but it sure stopped a holocaust when reasoning would not. There is, of course, a time and a place for everything. I would surely split some skulls if I happened upon a group of thugs harassing an elderly person or harming someone without cause, and I'm generally a peaceful guy. I certainly believe peaceful means of reconciliation should be attempted. I liken conflict with a gangrenous limb: Removing the limb is, by itself, a negative thing, but it is far better than NOT removing it in the long run. If you have a cure, then by all means use it, but if not, well...it wouldn't be wise to hold to a credo of "It's always bad to cut off a person's limbs and it should never be done."
Sulaco 02-18-05, 12:07 PM	*Violence never solves problems* It solved World War 2. The axiom that "violence never solves problems" is almost always 100% wrong. Violence is the one thing that can permanently solve pretty much any problem. The only hitch is that it doesn't necessarily make the situation any better.
The_Grikk 02-18-05, 12:16 PM	I look at it this way. I hate violence (really and truly) I like fighting but I hate violence. The difference is simple; fighting is fun, it is a competition with another person, you fight with someone. While violence is the act of trying to cause pain to another individual. I’ve always liked a quote that reflects that, "fighting is what you do with some one, combat is what you do TO some one." I will always try to negotiate peaceful solutions with people, but when peaceful means no longer work, there are little to no options left available. A few quotes that I like that partake to this: "War is the complete and total break down of communication" "Only the warrior chooses pacifism; others are condemned to it" "It is useless for sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion" - William Inge
GandolfsGrundle 02-18-05, 12:53 PM	Barry made me eat my own feces the other day because we wouldn't give up a table for the basketball players. I scheduled it with Mrs. Miller days before hand, why should I give up the table?
yeknom 02-18-05, 12:58 PM	hey does anyone else get harrased and taunted for being a fantasy nerd. I know at my school all my friends and I get bullied for playing d&d and pive action role playing. Just curiouse if this was happening at other schools. I never got bullied for playing D&D at my high school, but my school did ban the books from school. Of course that was a one horse town on the Texas/Lousianna border with a population of less than 1,000.
GandolfsGrundle 02-18-05, 01:04 PM	There are over 60 horses in my town according the the new world almanac.
yeknom 02-18-05, 01:12 PM	There are over 60 horses in my town according the the new world almanac. :) Is it really the the new world almanac? Or just a the new world almanac? :) Or is it an almanac of the New World?
TheatreRat81 02-18-05, 01:43 PM	Hey Recluce1, sorry to be johnny-come-lately, but I'd like to try and steer the topic back on track before the kind folks above me derail it completely. How are things going? Any of this advice here helping? Just out of curiosity, the harassment just happening at school or are you catching sh*t at home too? That makes a big difference in how to handle things, because it's a lot harder to have confidence/pride/etc, like some of the other suggestions on the board here say if there's not a stable, caring, nurturing foundation somewhere in your life. It's rare to find that kind of environment within the walls of a high school, and if you're lacking it at home as well, you have to become that much more self-reliant in the confidence/pride department in order to stand up for yourself. A lot of people on here are right - bullies are who they are because we allow them to take advantage of us. In order to stop being bullied, you really need to be able to draw from a deep well of inner strength and just be content with yourself as a person. If you're happy with who you are and you know you've got people that care about you, then what does it matter if the jackasses on the football team laugh at the fact you play D&D?
Stark Raven 02-18-05, 01:50 PM	hey ya'll, i didn't get a chance to read this whole thread, but from the title, i can gather that ya'll have the same problems I do. yesterday, i was in between classes at my middle school, taking a drink from the water fountain and some stupid jock comes up from behind me and slams my head into the fountain. i had to go to the hospital for 27 stiches just under my left eye. i stayed home today because it still feels bad. i am scared to tell on the jock, he's the star basketball player and the team has a chance to win states, what should I do?Well, asking for advice about this on a gaming message board might not be the best thing, however, that said, here is mine. Don't just tell on the jerk, report him to the police and have your parents get a lawyer to take him and his parents to court. Make the biggest deal out of it that you can and don't back down until he's punished appropriately for what he did. He caused you to have to get *stitches* and miss school. That is not only harrassment and assault and battery, but it's also going to interfere with your education. And if it means your school losing some stupid sporting event, too darn bad. He should have thought of that before commiting such an act. I've said it before and I will say it again, these people need to be held accountable. Period. And if anyone gets angry at you for getting him kicked off the team / whatever, inform them in no uncertain terms that you won't hesitate to have their sorry butts drawn up on charges, etc. if they try anything to get back at you. Of course, the sad thing is that at this point, it's your word against his, so proving that he did it will be tough, but if you have good parents that will back you up and if there were witnesses that are willing to back you (ie. your friends, who if they really are friends would back you) you should be able to pull it off. If my kid came home needing stitches, I'd damn sure know why and who was responsible and believe me, heads would roll. Oh, yes! Oh, and you are right, the way jocks get treated in our society is absolutely reprehensible. The ability to put a stupid ball through a stupid hoop is meaningless next to the abilities of great thinkers, doctors, scientists, etc. that do so much to improve the human condition. And yet, the dumb jock bullies get all the good stuff and the smart, benevolent kids get their faces smashed into water fountains with no repercussions for the grinning ape that did it. The whole thing just makes me :hoppingma
Slider33 02-18-05, 02:03 PM	he pushed your head into a water fountain and gave you that many stitches? Seriously, how did people not find out when you were bleeding all over the place? If you had to go to the hospital what did the doctors and nurses ask you? What did you say? Sounds like if it was a water fountain other people would be all around and witnessed it. That's pretty serious stuff. He shouldn't get away with it whatsoever. Tell the authorities, tell the police, whomever. Tell his coach even, if he is the kind of guy that will do the right thing he'll take care of the problem. If he doesn't, then you've got a heck of a story to go to the media with. If you turn him in and they lose the game, it's not your fault for getting him in trouble. It's his own fault for doing something stupid, and athletes (or anyone else) should never be able to get away with stuff.
Nomad4life 02-18-05, 02:36 PM	hey ya'll, i didn't get a chance to read this whole thread, but from the title, i can gather that ya'll have the same problems I do. yesterday, i was in between classes at my middle school, taking a drink from the water fountain and some stupid jock comes up from behind me and slams my head into the fountain. i had to go to the hospital for 27 stiches just under my left eye. i stayed home today because it still feels bad. i am scared to tell on the jock, he's the star basketball player and the team has a chance to win states, what should I do? ::Rolls for save vs. Poor taste:: Passed! Get lost. I don’t mind that you’re a troll… I mind because you're just so painfully -NOT FUNNY- at it.
WieldingTheMaceOfBuggery 02-18-05, 02:38 PM	Slide a shank blade into their upper thighs. Then run. Run like the wind!
Slider33 02-18-05, 02:39 PM	What's with the flood of trolls lately? It's like they all show up at the same time....what's happening to these forums?
GandolfsGrundle 02-18-05, 02:41 PM	::Rolls for save vs. Poor taste:: Passed! Is that a boolean equation?
Stark Raven 02-18-05, 02:44 PM	LightningBoltSuperstar may be a troll, but stuff like what he describes does happen. Not saying it happened to him, but my statement still stands. Idiot jock bullies need to be torn down from their pedestals and treated like the vermin they are.
Stinkfinger 02-18-05, 03:15 PM	I know how you guys feel. I wear a cape my little brother and I made out of a towel to school everyday. I keep telling those ****ing jocks that it's a cloak of invisibility and that they can't see me but just yesterday, one big ****er squeezed my face so hard I got a few bruises and is extremely sore. They'll rue the day...
Nomad4life 02-18-05, 03:38 PM	What's with the flood of trolls lately? It's like they all show up at the same time....what's happening to these forums? It’s all the same loser. You can tell because the names are all similarly craptacular.
The_Grikk 02-18-05, 07:01 PM	he/they are kinda funny though. Im getting a chuckle out of it. maybe thats just me though.
Bringslite 02-18-05, 07:09 PM	Nomad4Life is just such an original Message board name....why not just call yourself Frodo and be done with it. Guess you struck a nerve Nomad. Poor little troll. Don't worry it will regenerate.
Scipio 02-19-05, 02:12 AM	I used to get bullied constantly in high school for two reasons. One was that I have a disability and am incontinent. That ended when someone made a poor choice of words on the same day my parents divorced and I snapped. It didn't end well for either of us. He got a broken nose I got suspended. Don't go that route. The other reason I used to be bullied is that I am most unashamedly a nerd. This brought me years of derision. But the thing is, it ends. If all theyre doing is making fun of you, ignore it. If my experience means anything, shortly after you graduate, all the people that made fun of you will see you as their best friend in college.
DreadWizardDM 02-19-05, 05:48 AM	Well I graduated high school in 1988 and started playing D&D sometime in the 6th grade. I got picked on a little in gradeschool but by the time I was in high school things changed. By the time I was in 11th grade I asserted myself to the "boss" position through sheer brute force. I played football , wrestled and was a total party animal. I did alot of bad things and got into tons of trouble. I had the long hair and wore the old Iron maiden shirts and metallica shirts lol. I got picked on in high school once or twice but picked the other guy up by the neck and tossed him over 5 tables into some shelves in the library. People knew I was the toughest dude in the school and they knew I played D&D hehe. Funny thing was I wasnt really much of a bully and if i saw a freshman getting pounded on I was the goon who would calmly pick up the guy beating on him and ask if he wanted me to "intervene" and then i would watch him run in terror haha. Guess im kinda a chaotic good Paladin haha.
Wizard 02-19-05, 03:12 PM	I think the best bang for your buck among all the advice that's been given is to avoid being weird for weirdness's sake. Do NOT memorize Latin or Quenya insults. Well, do it if you want, but for heaven's sake don't use them. When I was in sixth grade, I read an awesome book called Alan Mendehlson, the Boy from Mars. It's a really cool book, but it screwed me up a little. In it, one kid starts a riot at his school by telling everyone that he's a Martian. Soon, a giant fight breaks out between the believers and the non-believers. Well, dorky little me thought this was a GREAT idea, so I did it all through eighth grade. Yay me. :rolleyes: Another thing I just thought of---if you're gonna take all the crap about being a nerd or whatever, at least get the good parts out of it too. I became a lot more socially adept my last two years of high school (I'm a frosh in college right now), so I was OK. But the whole time, I was a slacker. I got a 1600 on the SAT and a 35 on the ACT, but a GPA barely above 3.0, counting APs and honors. My last semester of high school, I had a 1.8. So if you're gonna take crap for being smart enough to scare people, but weird enough to be a target, at least get the bonuses from being smart. Get good grades, kids.
angryman 02-19-05, 08:05 PM	Violence solves everything. I think you may have not used enough violence for your problems. Violence is one of our greatest tools. When I am playing D&D, just like life, I usse violence to solve most of my problems. The problems I do not solve with violence could have been solved with violence, but I deemed them not worthy or I did not have the right "tools" on hand. I think he was more referring to the slightly different point that, while violence solves problems, it often solves problems in the same way that throwing an old, mouldy sofa out of a penthouse window solves the problem of getting rid of the old sofa. Yes, you have "solved" the problem (and gotten XP!) but it may hurt people, and it's usually illegal. At least with sofas, you can claim it was a hideous accident. And besides, violence propagates more violence, more often than not.
Razoreface 02-19-05, 11:38 PM	With violence you can still claim it was a hideous accident.. that's what manslaughter is for! I need to go move a sofa now.
Wizard 02-20-05, 05:39 AM	Oh, yeah---forgot to mention it earlier. If you're reading this thread and you haven't yet read it, go get a copy of Ender's Game. I can almost guarantee you'll like it.
Ivid 02-20-05, 07:04 AM	Violence solves everything. I think you may have not used enough violence for your problems. Violence is one of our greatest tools. When I am playing D&D, just like life, I usse violence to solve most of my problems. The problems I do not solve with violence could have been solved with violence, but I deemed them not worthy or I did not have the right "tools" on hand. [ I think he was more referring to the slightly different point that, while violence solves problems, it often solves problems in the same way that throwing an old, mouldy sofa out of a penthouse window solves the problem of getting rid of the old sofa. Yes, you have "solved" the problem (and gotten XP!) but it may hurt people, and it's usually illegal. At least with sofas, you can claim it was a hideous accident. And besides, violence propagates more violence, more often than not. It solved World War 2. The axiom that "violence never solves problems" is almost always 100% wrong. Violence is the one thing that can permanently solve pretty much any problem. The only hitch is that it doesn't necessarily make the situation any better. Nothing more to say - but keep in mind that we are not talking about the state of the world in general, but about a kid that is bullied by other kids in school. To advise him to use violence against them in the worst case would not only lead to further hummiliation, because, as he mentioned earlier, he thinks that he is weaker than the others. BTW, even if he was about to win, he'd comitted a crime by hurting the others!
The_Grikk 02-20-05, 09:26 AM	but its not completely about winning or loosing the fight, its about putting one up. Its IF they hit you, and THEN you hit them back (and dont stop at one punch/kick/push, keep swinging). Even if that turns in to a big fight, and you end up getting pumled they'll probibly stop, just becuase bullies also don't like getting hit. They'll leave you alone simply because there are easier targets out there. But if all they do is call names then who cares? sticks and stones. Ive never been hurt by a name, once i get pushed though, its on. (well not really on, i cant try in a fight, because if i really hurt them im going to jail fo a LONG time). but you dont have to worry about that, so go all out.
Ian Demagi 02-20-05, 02:59 PM	My dealing with a bully way back in high school was that a number of us shared the same bully. We decided that no one of us could take him, however; all 7 of us could. We caught him behind the school-we had brought "stuff" along too. It was not pretty, he ended up in a lot of pain. That was the idea. Unlike mastering a martial art or improving yourself through boxing (both of which take time), this was all about an immediate viscious solution to a shared problem. Did we have much choice? Probably not. Going to the school admin back then (I am talking early 70's) would have gotten him in a little trouble and us individually smeared into the ground. Doing now, what we did then. probably puts you on the front page of newpaper, and gets you a free ride in a police cruiser. It did work, but looking back it was the wrong thing to do. What if we had killed him or injured him really badly. No one wants that on their consience, and who wants to go to jail? We could have been expelled (it was an expensive private school), started criminal records, my parents could have been sued-the list goes on. Do you have a police resource officer? Maybe he/she has some ideas. If you want to learn a martial art, great! Go for it! However, you or your parents pay for the school and police, let them earn their pay! Keep a clean conscience, up til now you haven't really sone anything wrong. If he is a jerk, let him take the fall for it, but don't let him drag you down with him. Good Luck! Ian
Birrak 02-20-05, 08:56 PM	I went to a country school in Australia and played all through high school. And yes there were incidents of bullying, taunts etc.. however being a country school most students "lacked" a little in imagination and creativity and we put their taunts down to a lack of understanding and due to some bad press at the time (1985) we were even feared a little. (which didnt make it any better). I believe (now in my wisdom) that the bullying came from jealousy (we got our own room to play at lunchtime, recess) and a lack of understanding. I also think that with a little more tolerance on our part some of the worst offenders could have been "brought into the fold" so to speak and would have not only enjoyed but gained a great deal out of the game. Violence did not work in our case, if we beat them up, they would grab more of their friends and get us...the circle continued. There are many small minded people in the world and in 90% of cases you will find their violence, bullying etc is just their way of dealing with their poor lot in life and not directly related to what anyone else does. Lay low, dont make youself a target by quoting monty python or the latest stats for your uberfighter in classes... and most of all the few years you HAVE to deal with in high school may be a pain but it all means S&#* a few years down the path...
Ivid 02-21-05, 04:13 AM	;) Just one other note: Bullies and idiots can be everywhere, as this example proves: I once was attacked by a roleplayer! I was walking down the street next to a pub one night (I avoid drinking, so ;) don't think me overreacting) when a guy dressed in some kind of black leather SM costume jumps in front of me and barks :blink: I, as *hysterical* but deadly as I am, smack him down and want to call the police. One minute later, another such creature steps out of the parks and shouts at me what I am doing with his pal. Then, apparently very disgusted, he tells me not to panic, because that guy is no Zombie; they're doing a Vampire LARP on the nearby graveyard that night... :mymy:
Mootilator 02-21-05, 09:57 AM	There really isn't an easy solution. All I can say is that I was picked on up to a certain point in school...that point being when I finally got fed up enough and slugged the chief offender in the face. Every situation is different, and times have certainly changed. I could probably count on being shot or stabbed after school if it happened today, or it could have even happened then if the guy had a certain personality. It would be a mistake to accept physical bullying without defending yourself, just as it would be foolish to take simple "teasing" too seriously. Lots of factors to take in and process.
scwolf 02-21-05, 08:59 PM	I'd suggest investing in a black trenchcoat. It worked for me.
Razoreface 02-21-05, 09:29 PM	That actually does work. I went through a short Gothy phase, and every jackwad in the area gave the Goths in my school a ten foot wide buffer. All the black and woo scary death freaks out people. :)
Escef 02-22-05, 08:54 AM	I'd suggest investing in a black trenchcoat. It worked for me. Several years ago, my mom gave me a black leather trench for Christmas. :cool: The first time I wore the coat out to the mall, less than 30 seconds after I walk in the door, some kid behind me yells out, "Hey, look, it's the trenchcoat mafia!" I look over my shoulder to see a large number of people milling about, so I bite my tongue and move on. But I was so tempted to just turn around and call out, "Did it ever occur to you that if I was a shotgun toting sociopath that I'd whip it out right now and waste the whole crowd? Because I know your ass is in there somewhere!" And strangely enough, that reminds me of something else that happened down at the mall one time. I was down by the movie theater in the mall, and some girl sitting on a bench is yelling, "Freaks! Freaks!" at a bunch of other kids. So, evil-looking, freaky bastard that I am, I walk over to her, in no way pleased. One of her friends sitting next to her notices me first, and does not look reassured. "Hey," I interjected when I got up to them. The freak-taunter looks up at me. "Do you have a problem with freaks?" "I wasn't yelling at you," A sentiment that her worried looking friend begins to parrot a couple of times. "I'm a freak, do you have a problem with freaks?" "No." "Then shut the hell up." And I storm off. A little while later one of the freaky kids comes up and thanks me. [southern drawl] I think I scurred 'em.[/southern drawl]. I was just really steamed by that little punkette's behavior. Was still angry when the freaky kid thanked me, but after that I finally started to let go of some of the tension the situation brought me. To be honest, I was worried that my bluff was gonna be called, because I had no intention of hitting the stupid punkette. Looking back, I suppose I did bully her, but I somehow just can't feel bad about it. :D
Andrew_980 02-22-05, 10:36 AM	I got lucky and most of my problems ended when i was 10 and stronger than most kids 2 even3 years older ( i began weightlifting a bit at 9) the rest i just had to give a little show to prove that i had no fear of them and am by far crazier than them. some one is bigger, someone a better fighter, so be the craziest and win! i think it was the day in science class when i put a dozen saftey pins in my arm and turned to the taunters and said "if your so tough beat this *****hole!" that and monkey-stomping the biggest jock to screw with me took care of that problem. of course now adays that'll just get you sent to a shrink
Flame_Drake 12-03-05, 01:24 AM	In the spirit of keepint this avalible to everyone :bump: Drake
smoker 12-03-05, 01:48 AM	It's odd how generations change. D&D the cartoon was popular when I was a kid. Most people wanted to check it out. I don't know when D&D became a geek hobby. The only thing I was called in high school for playing D&D was a Satanist. That was the propaganda going on when I was a kid. smoker
I_Strahd 12-03-05, 04:02 AM	It's odd how generations change. D&D the cartoon was popular when I was a kid. Most people wanted to check it out. I don't know when D&D became a geek hobby. The only thing I was called in high school for playing D&D was a Satanist. That was the propaganda going on when I was a kid. smoker propaganda or the fact that all dnd players drain blood from frogs and hope to summon the greatest of evil. the politition. he can ruin lives greater then the glabrezu.
Koji 12-03-05, 04:04 AM	Get into LARPing and hone your fighting skills. Or, uh, I don't know, don't wear it on your sleeve if you can't take people bugging you over it. It's perfectly acceptable to be a nerd in the privacy of your own home.
Leap_UK 12-03-05, 04:29 AM	Kids will always take the p*ss out of someone when they are insecure about themselves (as most kids are). Like someone said, if you are into LARP learn sword, bow and especially 2 weapon use and if any of them get stroppy you can tan their ar$es with a handy bit of 1by2. :)
mrshupizdumaterinu 12-03-05, 04:52 AM	OR learn the such skills with real-life use as "communication" and "inter-human interaction" also known as "How to integrate yourself and become an accepted member of human society"
Prof. Pacali 12-03-05, 07:59 PM	Well, I'm not currently in high school, and haven't been for a while but I was harrassed for playing D&D by both other students and by the school's administration. I started playing when I was a sophomore in a very strict Orthodox Jewish day school. The school's vice principal was not happy at all about me and my friends playing during lunch, recess or when ever we skipped gym. He was even less happy when we tried to recruit new players. I was taunted by other students, and I think by at least one teacher (my memory is kinda fuzzy on this issue) but the vice principal felt he was justified on religious grounds to stop us from playing. To make a long story short, when I was studying in Israel in a post-high school seminary for a year, I asked my Rabbi point-blank whether I was violating any religious prohibition by playing D&D. He answered no, it was no different from playing checkers, or bowling. The only problem he saw was that I would not be spending time in Torah study, but otherwise D&D is completely kosher. I have used this defense when my folks give me a hard time about playing a fantasy game, which involves multiple deities, demons and magic: it's just a game, no different than any other.
Tuah 12-03-05, 10:06 PM	Say something along the lines of, "Why do you care so much about what I do? You're interrupting my social life with your lack thereof." Either that or, if you are any good at combat, and don't mind a risk, punch one person.
MessiahOmega 12-04-05, 01:19 AM	best advise i can give in easy to digest portions: 1) people are jerks. 2) people suck and are jerks. hmmm. highschool sucked, i got picked on for everything, then istarted to get scary and beat the living **** through people. i started to really get into art and stuff like that. people still picked on me though. i would say that theres not much you can do about it but wait it out, i was lucky to have a few of the people who used to beat me up burn to death in a horrible car accident, for example. i BELIVE in karma. wait till you leave school, its one of the only places and times (if you let it) when you are made to interact with people you wouldnt normally interact with on a day to day basis. school has NOTHING to do with real life.
Thanqol 12-04-05, 04:08 AM	Well, I'll speak as the mellow fellow from down undah. In Australia, or at least in my school, people have absolutely no idea what D&D means. But on the plus side, actual physical violence like someone giving you a wedgie or taking your lunch money is unknown in any form. Because of the near complete-unknowneness of our hobby, the popular kids arn't going to waste time learning what D&D is in order to taunt me, and the only ones who actualy have an inkling were stupid enough to try to taunt me while I was able to respond with the same line at almost every conversation: "Yeah? Well you play Runescape. 'nuff said." A word of advice though: If you can get an empty classroom on the top floor to play in, then it's perfect. No-one's going to climb two floors and wrestle with a locked door to try to taunt some quietly-minding-their-own-business nerds who are within earshot of the staffroom. As long as you don't actualy discuss the game during any time outside the game room you may end up being quite popular. Hells, I was. Everyone knew me! The Formal proved to be awesome. People arn't so bad. Even the jerkiest jerk can be ignored, even the annoyingist fools can be dodged. Just brighten up, say nothing, laugh along and actively know nothing about any popular subject. All I've gotten was gentle ribbing in my last year of High School. And it's done, and I couldn't be happier with how it's turned out.
Arkonth 12-04-05, 04:33 AM	My school is apathetic. No one takes the time to discover if you are or are not a nerd or any other generalized stereotype if they can't tell by your clothing. Everyone (including me and other nerds) has some sort of clique or is a complete loner. There is very little social communication betwixt such groups.
yeknom 12-04-05, 05:24 AM	quick, what's the number for 9-1-1? I think it is 4+5 and then the two little L's on the phone.
vardock 12-04-05, 06:10 PM	In most schools in america. anyone who does not act in accordance with the HollyWood sterotype student is always a target for harassment. and since HollyWood has Deemed D&D as the penicle of nerddom we are even bigger targets for such harassment. the only way I avoided harassment was growing up to be the biggest guy in school. also If you want to know why I blame HollyWood, It it is beacuse they Encourage this Behavior by the example they show in their products. The HollyWood Attitude toward people who are different in a way they do not think is fashionable: "F*#% you, you uncool vermin of the earth. you do not deserve any respect or attection from anyone outside of your kind"
Blackrazorblade 12-04-05, 08:29 PM	Funny, i have never faced derision for being a nerd or playing DnD. Most people don't know what DnD is, those that hear me mention it don't get it. The few that understand it, either want to play or don't care. Maybe its because i go to an all guys catholic school, i dunno. "Nerds" at my school seem to be almost respected by most, sure there are some exceptions, but those are the ones who can't add.
OctoberRaven 12-04-05, 08:38 PM	I've never had problems with it, and I've actually brought the Basic Set during a school day once in my senior year of high school. Then again, practically everyone liked me in school for some reason, even though I kept to myself practically all the time.
bakomusha 12-05-05, 03:23 AM	most of the guys that bullied me became my friend, thayed tease me mentaly for a while i dint care, but once you hit me i would fight like no tomarrow, afer the fight regardless of the winner we became friends.save one guy after i totaly woped his but he just stoped and never talked to anyone for awhile, then he started beating the c*ap out of my little bro, thats when the teachers noticed, he was transferd to a boys home soon after. as for high school i lasted less then a semester when i was kicked out and sent to home school.
High Octane 12-05-05, 09:10 AM	Allow me to dispel any and all myths concerning bullies and "Just ignore them." Yes, ignore them if all you get is some insults or the occasional joke falls your way. Hell, roll with it and make fun of yourself a bit, and people will respect you for it. If the bullying gets serious, and you have a real bully, ignoring and rolling will not work. You have 1 real choice: Talk back, insult back, and if it gets down to it, FIGHT BACK. Now before everyone starts saying "Violence never solves anything, hate breeds more hate, and etc. etc.", let me explain something. Bullies are not normal people. They are PREDATORS. They are not picking you out because you play D&D, they pick you out because they think you are meek or weak. Talking/fighting back works, even if you lose. As long as you get a couple of jabs (verbal or physical) in, the bully won't pick on you anymore, because you are no longer an easy target. Dont pick a fight, but dont back down either. If he still picks on you, keep talking back. If he assaults you, get him jailed.
Bob Loblaw 12-05-05, 11:29 AM	High Octane, while that may work sometimes it doesn't always work. I had a group of 9 people who wanted to fight me daily. I stood up to them daily. I even got into 2 fights with a couple of them. It didn't stop until school was over and I joined the Army. When I came back home for Christmas, they wanted to start things all over again. I simply walked away. This was where I understood that I had control over the situation. I could choose when to fight and when not to, and I didn't have to worry about how others felt about my decisions. I didn't back down. I didn't show fear. I tried all the "right" ways to deal with it. I went to my parents. I went to the teachers. I went to the counselors and principle. When the fights broke out, I was in just as much trouble as they were even though it was obvious that I was defending myself. I do believe that people should defend themselves when necessary. I don't feel that I made any mistakes with what I did. I know that it accomplished exactly nothing. I knew then and now that I am a better person than they. I have always helped those in need. I stand up for others. I am willing to do what I feel is necessary to accomplish my goals. The bullies only made me stronger. I am not intimidated easily because of them. In some ways I am a better person because of being bullied. I suggest to anyone who is being bullied to do what you can to ignore them. I also suggest that when necessary, defend yourself to the best of your ability. It may not help, but at least you won't be in the fetal position when you get your butt handed to you (this is more for self esteem than anything else). You may have to do it again the next day. And the day after that. Eventually they will leave you alone (this is the prefered option), end up in jail (another good option), or you will no longer be near them. In all cases, the idiocy ends. Also, as High Octane said, this has nothing to do with DnD. None of them even knew I played. I was different, and that was all that mattered.
High Octane 12-05-05, 11:54 AM	In the end, its about being in control of your own destiny. You cant let them control you. Figure out what they want, and dont give it to them. If the bully wants a victim, fight back. If the bully wants an enemy, walk away. If the bully wants attention, ignore him.
Argamoth 12-05-05, 12:45 PM	I wasn't bullied much in school, and I think the reason was that I wansn't "fun" to pick on. I have a very good temper, so people really don't get me that much. If you're being picked on as a group, I find the best defence is to be socialy neutral. Don't fall into the stereotype of a nerd or geek. Especialy don't wear D&D out on your sleeves. Broaden your horizons, and learn a little about politics, philosiphy, and sports. Not just science fiction and fantasy. People begin to know you for not just D&D, but for being smart. Then D&D becomes the hobby of smart people. And remember, B.O. is the enemy!
katarl 12-05-05, 12:50 PM	Quite a long thread, seems to stir up some really deep feelings in people. I don't like the word 'bully'- it doesn't really mean anything specific at all. Its entirely subjective to the person. To one, the big brother stealing the remote control to the TV from his sister is bullying, to another its harmless sibling rivalry. To one, insulting or swearing at someone is verbal abuse, to another, its friendly banter. You can't just go up to a teacher, or parent and say- i'm being bullied- it means nothing. If it is anything at all, its a person/people inflicting a sense of worthlessness and powerlessness on another person/people. When I was at school, (not long ago) i was accused of bullying a black boy in an English class. The teacher saw me talking to him, and thought i was being racist and violent. She got the Head of Year and assaulted me with claims and suspension warnings, until we told them we were just discussing Dragonball Z, and there was no racist content at all. Then, much later, a boy attacks me during a DT (you americans call it 'shop') class (he was bored) with a mallet. Spent an hour and a half trying not to get concussion- complain, teacher talks to him, and gets a warning- he tells me hes gonna kill me (and shadows me for a few weeks with his friends). Same head of year, rather more obvious abuse. Nothing. Hurting others isn't because of dnd. Bullies (or whatever stereotype these people belong in) hurt because- they're bored and destructive (fight, and make them know its not worth the bother), they have control fantasies (stand up but don't fight), they are emulating someone (introduce them to dnd, and let them emulate someone better) or because they desire attention (walk away). People always want something- what most consider bullying is quite extreme behaviour- they need something- be it attention, control, love or something else. You can deal with them accordingly, and make them know that this behaviour will not result in the emotion they crave, and thats the best way to beat them (and possibly help them at the same time). Its little different from attacking someone because they're a foreigner, or small or bookish- its the minority. They don't really care if you play dnd- its just an excuse to veil their actions from others, and they'll think up lots of reasons to justify it. Don't ever think the problem is dnd, and try arguing that it is not wrong- you'll lose, because they've already made up their minds. PS. I think the reason that people don't really attack goths isn't because the death and gloom freaks people out- its because you've proved yourself emotionally invulnerable to whatever they do. No one ever attacks a depressed guy, or someone perfectly confident- it proves nothing to their ego- theres no conflict!
Lord Doombringer 12-05-05, 03:17 PM	hey does anyone else get harrased and taunted for being a fantasy nerd. Hell, yes! They're always like, "shut up and go pretend to be an elf with all your gay little friends. Or, "do you have a pet unicorn?" I hate them so much! Is fantasy a sin? Is D&D really that nerdy? IS IT NERDY AT ALL? No, no, and let me think...NO! :mad: :ahem: :noway: :surrender :raincloud :pbbbtt: :yuck: :nonono: :censored: :tantrum: :headexplo :banghead: :hoppingma :twitch:
vardock 12-06-05, 02:39 PM	someone mentioned most people not knowing what D&D is. that may be true, but they have heard if it. on television and other mediums and such It is protrayed as the penacle of nerddom. here is a quote from a comic strip "you could not look any nerdier if you were holding a dungeon Masters guide." there is also the portryal of D&D games in a bad light. a group of either very skinny or obese guys wearing either costumes or high black pants held up with suspenders, wearing coke-bottle glasses and a bowtie, with at least one guy having braces. it is images like these that promote harrassment for the fanticy roleplayer.
Templetroll 12-06-05, 04:50 PM	Just insult his mom. That'll earn you some respect. Seriously. But make sure you do it in a joking manner. The wost thing you can do is get angry at them. That's exactly the reaction they want to provoke. I know, becuase I've been on both sides of it. You cannot insult a bully's mom "...in a joking manner." They will take it poorly no matter how risible you try to make it seem. The words, "Yo momma..." are an invitation to a fight, nothing more, nothing less. ;)
Arraxis 12-08-05, 12:58 AM	At my school, all of the stereotypes are so muddled up that just about everyone is truly unique. You will find that people who work out regularly also spend a large proportion of their time playing computer games, or those dedicated to studying being captain of the softball team. I'm well-known (and liked, I think) at my school for being tall, intelligent, and a smart-**** when teachers are involved (basically, I correct them all the time and blame capitalism and George Bush for the world's problems :)). However, in primary school, I was picked on for being lanky, smart, and possibly Australian. I did try ignoring them at first, although they continued. I eventually snapped and attacked them, but that was worse, as they had greater numbers. It left me bruised and battered. After that I went to the principal to tell on them, and they stopped. I'm not sure if that is the solution either, as I've heard that many other people end up facing reprisal. I think the solution is simply to hold yourself with confidence, and hold your head high. If bullies think you are weak, they will move in. However, if you put it all in your stride, and come off superior to them (which you are, might I add), they will leave you alone. Bullies are cowardly creatures, and attack only the sick, the weak, and the needy, in order to fill the emptiness of their soul. Probably a bit melodramatic at the end, but you get the idea.
Pz.Az.04Maus 12-08-05, 01:43 AM	Usually, what I'm doing right now is just trying to hide it. I let the word get out, but I don't let the D&D stuff get to school. Nothing that leaves my house that is D&D should not get seen if it has anything showing its true purpose. If the person who finds this out sees this, play dumb and say someone else needed it, and you just were helping them; IF they don't know what D&D is, just don't let the word get on that D&D is a nerd's sport. However, I do let D&D come into the School Game Club a little, but I let any inhibitions fly. I let myself to show that I do not tolerate being called a nerd for having D&D paraphanilia at school, and I force that the fact that D&D is being done in this time, and is SUPPOSED TO BE CONNECTED TO Game Club. I don't give a crap about the others, but if the ratings for the club go down because of me, I don't bring everything necessary to play it (Lugging 9+ books, a battle mat, pencils, water for the mat, miniatures, and other crap is hard), just what I normally bring to help me later. I try not to have a D&D session every day, only on a specific day so that we can have real lives, and aren't seen as D&D fanboys. I think I am in Denial.
DoctorRomulus 12-08-05, 09:01 AM	I know this probably flies in the face of some but. Learn how to fight and hold your own. Workout. Take care of yourself and eat right (damn the gaming dieticians are gonna have a fit, after all Mountain Dew is the nectar of the GAWDS!!). I too didn’t start playing RPG’s until after HS but I did have a kind of nerdy air about me, may have been all the sci-fi and fantasy books I read. But I also ran 2 to 3 miles a couple of days a week, did 80 pushups and sit-ups every other day and could bench press around 250 lbs. The only person to call me “nerd” in high school got a sound thrashing and stuffed in the locker. I’m not saying go looking for a fight, just be prepared to handle yourself and confront those who insult you. There’s a saying in Spanish, El mono sabe el palo que trepas or The monkey knows what tree it can climb. Bullies by nature are cowardly, confronted by someone who can handle them they will back off. If not at least you are in a position to hold your own.
Durandal_1707 12-08-05, 09:48 AM	***INCOMMING MESSAGE FROM DURANDAL*** This sort of stuff used to happen to me all the time (and is sometimes still tried), but I found a localized solution to the problem. I have used the exact opposite approch that some of the other posters here have mentioned. Yes, I'm looking at you, Pz.Az.04Maus. I've been extreemly open about the game with all of the guys who try to 'get to me' for it, showing them some of the cooler pictures inside of the books and telling them what it's really like and about. I've actually had decent success with getting people to stop making fun of it by making it sound like an action/adventure/heist/war movie or an extra tough multiplayer video game where you can do (or try, at least) anything you can imagine, with a caracter that you design to your liking. After my practical 'sales pitch' for D&D, I sometimes have people who get interested in trying it for themselves. The only drawback to this is that you must, at first, cater the game to their interests. The people who are drawn in by the violent combat concepts of the game usually have to be carefully babysat through the caracter creation and gameplay (they like rolling dice though). Sometimes you even have to make special short, combat-intensive adventures where the DM energeticly and graphicly describes the bloodshed and really plays up the fear and atmosphere. For theatre and fantasy story people, emphasize the Role Playing elements of the game and give them a story/event based quest. (This ones the most satisfying to do.) Religious zelot trying to shoot you down? Drop the preset gods from the game and insert a general good god and a evil god, then introduce them to the Cleric and Paladin classes. Explain how most players play 'Champions of Good', and fight evil. Work with those angles and they'll at least lighten up. Follow these concepts, be honest, and be proud of your hobby. Time to work those Charisma scores, ladies and gentlemen. Durandal ***END TRANSMISSION***
Caemin Pah 12-08-05, 10:01 AM	I never had a problem with anything like that, but then, I graduated from high school almost 11 years ago. Besides, back then I looked mentally unstable enough to rip people's heads off. Same here :D
Drewsus 12-08-05, 10:10 AM	Your best bet is not to hide it. In public school I was picked on for Gaming.. Come high school I started running a gaming club and playing during lunch. Everyone who knew me knew I RP'ed. People can't bug you about it if nobody cares. Hell, girls will even be attracted to you because of it! If you didn't know.. "Nerd" is the new jock.
BobtheBiotitan 12-09-05, 11:08 AM	I highly reccommend being open about it. Hell, I even wore DnD shirts to let people know that I played. I gathered a group of friends that play, we all hang out together and dont get any crap. Probably because of the 6'5" Korean :D Yes, nerd is the new jock. We have quite a few chicks in our group, who are hotties to boot. :)
Jimmifett 12-09-05, 11:25 AM	How to deal with bullies: Write a letter to both your teacher and your principal stating that "it is your responsibility to ensure my safety and well being while I am on the school premisis. If the actions of [insert bully here] are not dealt with in an acceptable matter, legals actions will be taken for obvious neglect and failing to properly remedy an abusive individual." Have said letter signed by your parents and delivered to your teacher and principal in the school mail (never in class). In fact, you might also wish to forward copies to the local school board. Then you and your friends must act on the upmost best behavior and not respond to thier taunts. I guarentee you that the school will act faster than you could imagine.
WhtKnt 12-09-05, 11:33 AM	hey does anyone else get harrased and taunted for being a fantasy nerd. I know at my school all my friends and I get bullied for playing d&d and pive action role playing. Just curiouse if this was happening at other schools.As much as it saddens me to say this, welcome to life. I got teased for that and a multitude of other things. Kids are cruel, and some more so than others. The best thing I can say about my experiences is that I'm not working in a decent-paying job and have a happy marriage while they are working as ditch-diggers and are thrice-divorced.
Bob Loblaw 12-10-05, 12:56 AM	How to deal with bullies: Write a letter to both your teacher and your principal stating that "it is your responsibility to ensure my safety and well being while I am on the school premisis. If the actions of [insert bully here] are not dealt with in an acceptable matter, legals actions will be taken for obvious neglect and failing to properly remedy an abusive individual." Have said letter signed by your parents and delivered to your teacher and principal in the school mail (never in class). In fact, you might also wish to forward copies to the local school board. Then you and your friends must act on the upmost best behavior and not respond to thier taunts. I guarentee you that the school will act faster than you could imagine. I hate to burst your bubble, but this most likely won't be of much use. Most of the time, the bullies can find you outside of the school. Letters like this will probably only taunt them more. I had tried the "right way" and got everyone involved. Eventually I had to simply get bloody. While I don't condone violence, I couldn't let myself be attacked physically either. Bullies don't really care about your notes from mommy. (I intentionally said it like that, as that is how they will see it.)
Jimmifett 12-10-05, 01:12 AM	I hate to burst your bubble, but this most likely won't be of much use. Most of the time, the bullies can find you outside of the school. Letters like this will probably only taunt them more. I had tried the "right way" and got everyone involved. Eventually I had to simply get bloody. While I don't condone violence, I couldn't let myself be attacked physically either. Bullies don't really care about your notes from mommy. (I intentionally said it like that, as that is how they will see it.) I merely offered what is probably the 'safest' way to deal with them. Personally, I found the Ender Wiggin method of dealing with them worked wonders. Beat the living crap out of them with my own two fists. Was never bothered again.
Radin Of The Justice 12-10-05, 01:17 AM	You know the best way i ever found when dealing with crap like this, in all honesty, assuming you have self confidence, is just insult yourself. most bullies, not all mind you, cant go anywhere when you just agree. i used to get made fun of for my weight and what did i do, i made fat jokes about myself. i was secure with who i was so it didnt bother me, and it left the bullies with nothing. it dosnt always work, and it may seem stupid, but im fine with myself today. some of them even gained a twisted type of respect. but hey thats what worked for me, take it or leave it :cool: :pumpkin: :chicken:
Always-Late 12-10-05, 02:12 AM	Meh. I'm currently in high school, and we have a grand total of ten or twelve people that play D&D. We've got one or two "D&D freaks." Not that they are, they just fit the stereotype. One of them gets verbal abuse, but that's not really because he plays. There's two or three fairly normal people. There's me, one of my friends, and then a whole bunch of seniors. The first few people play in the library, are pretty loud, and have characters with +24 in every stat and over a trillion GP. Not many of the people go near them. The other D&Ders play at home. We go to a really nice school, though - no elitist asshats. Nobody actually gets or hears crap for playing... it's just most people don't want to be associated with it anymore.
Bartmanhomer 12-10-05, 10:59 AM	Just ignore these scumbags, that what I do. :)
shmeck 12-10-05, 03:56 PM	i teach junior high and run a multi-age D&D club. ignoring does not work. the best way to defuse the situation and take away his power is to openly demonstrate that what the bully is saying does not bother you, and that you don't take it personally. this has a lot to do with body language and voice tone. here's the trick: 1) pretend he's saying these things to someone else, imagine you are one of the bystanders watching the show, then 2) pay very close attention to what he says, make eye contact, and smile warmly. behave in every way as if you were already friends, and 3) respond honestly and openly to the things he says. if it's a good one, smile, look him in the eye, and laugh with him and give him props for coming up with something funny. if it's not that clever, empathize with him and try to help him think of a more clever insult. turn it into a game of who-can-make-a-better-geek-joke. this only works if there's no anger, resentment, nervousness, or upset in your body language or voice tone. at a very deep level, this poor jerk has low self-esteem and is seeking approval. if you kindly give him the approval he is so desperately seeking, then you show yourself to be the one with power. demonstrate in a friendly way that he has no power over you and he'll look for another target. whatever you do, don't get defensive or show that he's getting to you. always keep your head up, stand up straight but relaxed, don't fidget, and look him in the eye, in a non-aggressive and confident way. the interaction becomes your game, not his. he only has power if you give it to him. this is much easier than lifting weights for months or getting a blackbelt (and maybe a black eye!). if this approach does not work, then the guy is a true sociopath, and you should immediately address it with your parents and the authorities. a letter is not necessary, simply make a list of bully names and schedule parent conference; there's nothing an administrator fears more than a conference with upset parents. i know you want to feel like an adult and "handle it on your own", but going to the authorities is how adults handle out-of-control harassment too. there is no shame in this, it's good sense. contrary to many of the other posts here, you do not have to get bloody. if you and your parents address the issue properly, the kid should get suspended the instant he so much as breaths or looks in your direction. if there's a third incident, he should be expelled. if you're concerned about your personal safety outside of school, your administrator must notify campus police. if he touches you or messes with you outside of school, he gets arrested.
Bob Loblaw 12-10-05, 05:46 PM	shmeck, excellent post and excellent advice. I didn't go into details with the bullying I received. I didn't have the choice of not getting into the fight. I was actually attacked physically and had to defend myself. I was yanked out of my chair and punched square in the face. Another time I was sucker punched on the bus from behind. There was another time when I was surrounded behind the local mall and had to defend myself there as well. That is what I was talking about when I said I had to get bloody. There really wasn't any choice, I was already getting attacked. If I had the advice you gave, things may have turned out differently. I will never know, but your advice is better than any I had gotten at the time.
DangerDre 12-11-05, 02:27 AM	Recluse, I hope you read this. I agree. You are a target for bullying. Learning to change this is a life long usefull skill. Learning your faults and how to be perceived better in social status can help with your success for the rest of your life. It's hard. Highschool was psycolagically damaging to me too. I did not let anyone know I played D&D. I highly recomend to tell all your teachers! and tell your Principal about your troubles and the bullies. Do not be ashamed. this takes curouge. Some years in School I was the bigger fish. The cool guy (it sucks to be the dork) I picked on a dork. I gave him a wedgie (sp?) I got in allot of trouble for that from the teacher, and saw how I was wrong, and gained more respect for the wedgie dork victum. Today, when someone messes with me, I get angry and want to fight them. However I have learned far more satisfaction when I call the authorities. Again. I recomend to tell the Principal. If I could go back in time, I would tell the principal. Police too. Would I stand up for myself? Probalby not, because it risks getting my butt beat. However I would have more respect for myself and from others to stand up and fight. Muscles attract girls. Muscles also attracted competition and more guys to prove themselves to me in a fight. If the Principal doesn't put a stop to it, you THREATEN HIS JOB! and get the Police involved. Imagination changes the world. NOT JOCKS!
DarkScythe 12-11-05, 02:37 PM	I always went out loud that I'm a fantasy addict. But noone dared bully/mock or whatever. Maybe because people in high-school thought of me as being demented =). You know, people are kinda afraid of metalheads. Always wearing black, having the scariest gaze in the world, long dark hair, and never taking crap from anyone. That kinda worked for me. Besides that, I trained AIKIDO for 5 years so... There were lot of talking behind my back, but never in front of me. So why not try being a metal-head? =)
Dr. Awkward 12-11-05, 06:07 PM	Ah yes. High school. Bane of sane people everywhere. I remember the bastards at my high school who picked on me, back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. They made me into a very angry person, partly because they made me feel powerless, and partly because the authority figures who should have been doing something to preserve order at the school were completely apathetic. Eventually I got to college and realized that high school has nothing to do with life, and everything worked out fine for me. It's a pretty typical story for a nerdy guy these days. But my story has a wry twist to the end of it. Now, most of the idiots who used to bully me were on the football team, because that's what you do when you're an idiot with a desire to commit violence. But it would prove to be their undoing. You see, a few years back, I found out that the teacher who was in charge of the football team was being brought up on charges of sexual molestation. He had apparently been playing doctor with a lot of the kids who had been making my life hell, and messed them up far worse than they could ever had messed me up. In the end, they're all bagging groceries and having flashbacks to the horrible prowling hands, while I'm enjoying a lucrative career in science. Ah, the little dramas that make life so interesting...
Dr. Awkward 12-11-05, 06:22 PM	Or, "do you have a pet unicorn?" Why yes, yes I do. (http://70.86.201.113/imageserv2/temporary/PBF024ADUnicorn.html)
Durandal_1707 12-12-05, 09:18 AM	Excellent comic, Doc Awk! Durandal
Bane 12-12-05, 01:28 PM	High school is supposed to be hell. After you go through high school, real life doesn't look nearly as bad. I got my share of crap from just about everyone else. I only resorted to violence once, and only after he decided violence was a good idea. He got a bloody nose from a locker-face collision, and he never once mentioned my name. Turns out bullies aren't overly eager to announce that they got beat up by a geek.
Festivus 12-12-05, 04:19 PM	How about inviting him over to play some D&D Mini skirmishes. It's not really an involved roleplay type game, it's easy to learn and is a pretty fun game you can play in an hour or two. Some of the "jock" types in my family actually think D&D mini's are neat, I taught them the rules and they enjoyed playing it and asked that I bring them along for the next family get together. Perhaps their aggression is just their way of expressing interest in what you are doing and jealous that they are not a part of it or don't know how to approach you about it. On the other hand, if they are braindead then point out that Bill Gates was (and still is) a uber-geek too.
MiloDaGreat 12-12-05, 05:11 PM	Uhhh, Dr. Awkward.... The football team that was molested by their coach is FAR worse than the football team ragging on you for being a nerd. .. like. .. FAR WORSE. . . . . Just putting things into perspective. I don't wish molestation on ANYONE... - Milo
Dr. Awkward 12-12-05, 06:59 PM	Uhhh, Dr. Awkward.... The football team that was molested by their coach is FAR worse than the football team ragging on you for being a nerd. .. like. .. FAR WORSE. . . . . Just putting things into perspective. I don't wish molestation on ANYONE... - Milo Eh, whatever. I didn't have anything to do with it, and I just see it as karma coming back to haunt them. If they hadn't been such evil creeps, maybe they wouldn't have joined the football team and would have ended up playing D&D instead. As it was, they were evil creeps, and this is what happened to them. It's not like I locked them in the locker room with Head Coach McStinkyfingers. I just get to tell the story.
Aneul 12-12-05, 07:33 PM	First, I havn't had the time to read every post, and will probably be reiterating alot of what has already been said. Reculuce, I'm in high school too at the moment, and don't get teased to frequently- middle school, however, was a completely different story. To make things short, I got teased for my social awkwardness and nerdy tendencies in middle school- D&D foremost among them. When I hit high school though, things changed- partialy because the people around me got more mature and lost intrest in bullying, and patialy because my nerdy tendancies made me fairly sucessfull as a student. In middle school I memorized passages of Tolkien for fun, and now it really pays to be able to memorize a paragraph of Thoreau for an oral presentation, etc. The point here being that, in a relatively short amount of time, your bullies will realize there isn't much of a point to bullying, and you'll rise head and shoulders above them. Maybe this will happen in College for you, seeing as your having trouble in High school instead of middle school, but soon enough the fact that you play D&D won't matter to anyone, and it might even have some positive ramifications. Also- you have a group of friends? Exellent. Friends make bullies bearable. Finialy- from a nearly friendless kid in Middle school, I ended up with a fairly stalwart bunch of friends (encluding a really fantastic girl- which is more then many of the kids on the football team can say) in high school who couldn't care less that I play D&D, if they don't play themselves, and for the most part, I can take what little bullying I still suffer because of them. Nothing is perfect, you'll probably always have some sort of problem with one person or group or another, but for the most part, things will most likely only get better; endure the bullies now and laugh in their faces in 5 years when your going to a great school and have a few really good friends where as they are retaking their SATs for the third time.
Cole-Terenzin 12-12-05, 08:43 PM	As to the greater issue, if some double-digit-IQ is insulting you for being into fantasy, you have two options. Outdo him in the insult category, by similarly mocking his hobbies, or ignore him and walk away. I strongly don't suggest the former, because A> you have to outdo him, if you don't in the eyes of everyone, you'll only make yourself a bigger fool, and you'll really, really **** him off, B> you're making it OK for him to act that way to you, since you act that way to him. Ignore them and walk away. If it happens more than once, get witnesses. Then, go to the principal. Insist that the arse be suspended. Inform your parents of what's going on beforehand, so you have their backing too. Sure, you might get a rep as someone who runs and tells. But the moment they taunt you about that, nail them again. And let it be known that you don't tolerate that kind of inhumane behaviour when you've done nothing to deserve it. Keep it up, every time. The moment the principal waffles on it, call your parents and get them to lay on the pressure. If there's serious doubts, engage your witnesses to film it, camera phones are fairly common these days. Nail the arse's hide to the wall, in the current anti-bullying atmosphere, it won't survive long. There's no need for anyone to go through this, and there's absolutely no reason not to go to the people who can help you. That would be like not reporting a mugging because you weren't man enough to not get mugged, it's ridiculous. I agree here. When you can nail their asses to the wall. step one: Tell by pass your immediate teacher and write a letter (sign it and get your teacher and your parents to sign it as well) take this to the principle and hand deliver it personally wait and watch him read it as you stand there. Take in a recording device and let the principal know that you are recording this conversation. Step Two: if you have not done so already. Let your parents know about this. They may actuallly pay for your Martial arts class. Mine didnt parents were divorced. Dad was in the police force and he gave me his book on Judo. (If they do then remember that Martial arts is learned to DEFEND your self and your friends not to attack and start fights. I would suggest Judo/ Aikido combination. Most fights end up on the ground in a grapple). This helped me lots. My Mum actually told me that as the bullying did not stop when I tried to ignore it to "THUMP THE MONGRELS". This helped against the recycled pond scums that did it for fun. Step Three: If the school does not take appropriate action or not enough action then if you are in the US then take up a law suite. You might as well get rich if they are not going to look after you. That way you can have a private tutor. Step 4: Get your parents to sue their parents. If your family has little to lose then this can be a strength. Or better still do so yourself. Sue either him or his parents or both. Hit them in the hip pocket. I suffered the Bullying at High school to the point that during lunch breaks that mobs of kids would be banging on the windows/doors calling us satan worshipers. I am bitter about this yes and Ignoring it does not help. In my group I was the best at Physically defending myself. So I did not get targeted as much. (I made sure that I stood up for my friends as well when I had the chance.) I did not win all my physical conflicts but at the same time I did not instigate any of them either. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. IF YOU ARE OUTNUMBERED AND IT IS CLEAR THAT YOU WILL BE DEFENDING AGAINST MORE THAN ONE AGGRESSOR. RUN. If you cant run then Fight. Try to do this in as open as a space as you can where there will be lots of witnesses. Openly challenge the leader of the group. He can't decline this in public. BE AWARE THAT YOU WILL GET HURT, But like I said if you CANT RUN then fight like your life depended on it. Try not to get surrounded. The fights that I did not win were against bigger opponents but I didn't run THIS WAS BECAUSE I COULD NOT. I stood my ground and got back up when knocked to the ground (where possible). ALWAYS be on the defensive and don't give in. If you get knocked to the ground use your legs and aim for their knees. When they start to move in. If they start to wrestle you and then punch you, move and wriggle like there is no tomorrow. If you have, to bite and claw. Try to minimise being hit as much as possible. Remember this is not a fair fight. Dont fight to their rules. If you get pummelled then don't hide what happened to you, be proud of youself. (You did not run from the b@$t@rD). Try to get a couple of good shots in and if you have to go for the soft spots. To force them to back off. Eyes - use a gouge type attack or ram your fingers in the general direction of their eyes. Just keep attacking this point. This will do two things. It will force them to move or have their sight impared. It will not give them a clean shot at your head and Buy you some time. (They want to make a visual impact by giving you a black eye or fat lip. bumps on the head are not as easy to see so you will look like you came out of it a little better than what you did). Ears - Clap your hands over one or both of their ears. This May rupture their ear drums or just stun them enough for you to row-sham-bow them a good one. If they are on top of you then keep wriggling and convulsing to throw them of you. Or go for the eyes next to try to force them off you. If they are standing. That may make them double over. At this point take a few steps back out of their reach and stand your ground. Look for exits where possible. If you can move to a more open position to avoid being surrounded. If your school has cameras back towards one of them but try not to have your back hard up against a wall. The cameras will be useful in a lawsuite either against the school of the perp. regardless of what happens let your parents know that you were near a camera. LET THEM KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING AT SCHOOL. IMPORTANT Point: If you start to win the fight - GREAT - now is the time to back off and let them retreat. If they come at you again in the same combat then you have the advantage, let them come. You have licked them once. You can do it again. ALWAYS STAY ON THE DEFENSIVE. THAT WAY THEY CANT CLAIM YOU WERE THE AGGRESSOR. Also you are in a better postion as you will start to focus on how they move. I am sorry that I cant be there to help you in this but I do hope for the best. Key points in summing up. In General as previously stated be nice to others. LET YOUR PARENTS KNOW. LET THE SCHOOL AND THE PRINCIPLE KNOW. FIGHT WHEN THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION. I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.
Cole-Terenzin 12-12-05, 08:49 PM	Yes, I am. I'll be the first to admit that. Let me define the idea of someone who "deserves it". People who have done nothing do not deserve to be mocked. The last example you used is a good one. Racism is wrong. People are born a certain race and should never be treated badly because of something they have no control over. Racists have tiny brains and richly deserve to be treated badly. People who smell, hmm, this one also deserves to be addressed. Many times this is a concious decision. I've know a few people who wlaked around smelling like New Orleans (for those of you who don't know, that means smelling like a tire fire in an open sewer), just because they were too lazy to take a shower. These people deserve to be insulted. If people treat them with tolerance and understanding, the problem will never be solved. Also, people who take themselves too seriously need to be taken down a peg (or two) every now and then. Really, we're all just monkey that wear pants and have good credit, right? This sort of thing is just never cool. Taking away the rest of someone's life over a problem that will be over soon is just not the right way to handle things. Nerds and geeks are closely related, but seperate species (think frogs and toads). My advice is to try to not take it all so seriously. It won't last for very long. I know that you stated that you would only bully those that deserved it but no one deserves it. If someone smells then quietly ask them about it and maybe try to provide them with a solution. Openly mocking them does not help their situation. I points out to others that this is acceptable behaviour towards this person. News Flash it isnt. You are not being part of the solution here. You see bullying results in resentment. Not everyone handles it well.
Cole-Terenzin 12-13-05, 06:26 PM	So somtimes drawign strength from friends wont work, what i did to get a few people to lay off is throw the largest of of them thruogh a door (glass) ... I have to say.... well done. Nothing like having your ass tossed through a window to have some sweet humble pie shoved down your throught by a guy you teased. Some low life at school was picking on one of my friends I went to his aid as I was about 150 feet away at the time. Had to run to get there quickly. Cutting to the chase this moron threw a punch at me I ducked and planted my fist squarely on his mouth full of braces. Tis satifying watching the ***** stagger away trying not to get blood on himself from his profussely bleeding mouth. Also, even just carrying a big knife seath will get ppl to lay off, just make sure they dont see that its empty, just stick a pencil in a hard case with another smaller one taped across like a hilt, itll look like a knife for a few seconds. I was advise against this action. As some one may just take it too seriously and think that you have upped the stakes and come at you with a weapon as well. But if that happens then a pencil through the eye will cain like no ones business. You would be amazed how far you can stick a pice of splintered wood into someones ribs 2) Whoever said involve the school admin, ive been trying for 5 years to get these braindead ****s kicked outta school for bullying, usually in the office complaining atleast once a month, theyve never even been called to the office to be questioned, so school admin=incompetent It has been stated before but I will state it again. If the morons in power do nothing then Send them a written warning and also have your teachers sign it. If they don't then send it to the next serveral levels above their collected incompetant recycled posteriers and let them know that if they dont take action that you will do so your self next time you are physically attacked that you will respond with as much force as you deem necessary as you are now fearful for your life. Even if you are not. remember that the damage done now will affect you for the rest of your life so in a manner you are.
Cole-Terenzin 12-13-05, 06:29 PM	Agreed. The first time the seventh graders (I was in first grade) threw rocks at me I came into the teachers' lounge with a bleeding and fractured skull and asked if they could call my mom and what I should do. They refused to call her, did NOT call the ambulance, did not take a closer look, assuming it was just a scratch, did not stop the other kids from picking on me (they kept this up the whole semester), did not even try to intervene, and actually laughed when I asked if I could go home. Needless to say my mom took me out of the school at the end of that very same semester, and I'm glad she did. I still have a scar above each of my eyebrows and probably more that've been covered by hair since. It might've healed better if they'd called the frickin' ambulance instead of waiting till someone else took a look at it. The morale: Teachers can be deeply, passionately stupid, lazy, self-centered and ignorant. "Those who can do..." Glad you feel better though. Hope you never have to go through the same things I did. Look you sound old enough now. You can take legal action. You have the scarring to prove that it happened. Sue these morons. Make them realise that ARE accountable for their lack of action. Hit them in the hip pocket as that will make them wake up.
Cole-Terenzin 12-13-05, 06:30 PM	*coughs* Those who think they can, try. Those who think they can’t, don’t. Those who help both, teach. I know, because I am a teacher. If you are a teacher Nomad I am surprised that you dont wake up. See what is happening and take action.
Cole-Terenzin 12-13-05, 06:35 PM	I had problems with this in junior high..I moved around a bit..ended up back at the same school in high school..I was a total loner by then from the social issues I have..but had no problems with being bullied. I just felt like a geek/nerd/loser inside. I joined the military, went to Iraq, got in shape, got lasec on my eyes, dressed better, and made a lot of friends in the military. I have strived to be an intelligent, interesting, fair, attractive, and amiable person..and seemed to have succeeded. But I still have trouble with being around large numbers of people. I freeze up in certain social situations. I am terrified of being humiliated by doing something wrong. Basically..I am still as socially inept as I ever unless the person is familiar, shares some kind of common hobby/interest, or if I am dealing with them in a public sphere as opposed to a social/private one. The social problems and scars from your youth do not go away. Adults are attracted to independant, intelligent, and interesting people..but as long as you carry around your previous personna it doesn't help you a great deal after high school. 70% of communication is non-verbal and people can just tell if you are insecure around them or think of yourself negatively. I am sorry that I cannot offer any actual advise on this issue, only a slight amount of personel insight. Look here. You cant help how you feel as a result of this crap you went through at school. People pick on others as a result of their own need to be either part of the inn group, avoid being picked on themselves, or because they are they are just a pile of vile excrement. Look at what you have done. You have improved yourself. You have put your life on the line. Fought for your country. (propably more than these other bullies have done.) Travelled made lots of friends regardless who they are WALK WITH PRIDE I WILL SAY IT AGAIN WALK WITH PRIDE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.
BladeMage_1 12-13-05, 06:52 PM	First, I havn't had the time to read every post, and will probably be reiterating alot of what has already been said. Reculuce, I'm in high school too at the moment, and don't get teased to frequently- middle school, however, was a completely different story. To make things short, I got teased for my social awkwardness and nerdy tendencies in middle school- D&D foremost among them. When I hit high school though, things changed- partialy because the people around me got more mature and lost intrest in bullying, and patialy because my nerdy tendancies made me fairly sucessfull as a student. In middle school I memorized passages of Tolkien for fun, and now it really pays to be able to memorize a paragraph of Thoreau for an oral presentation, etc. The point here being that, in a relatively short amount of time, your bullies will realize there isn't much of a point to bullying, and you'll rise head and shoulders above them. Maybe this will happen in College for you, seeing as your having trouble in High school instead of middle school, but soon enough the fact that you play D&D won't matter to anyone, and it might even have some positive ramifications. Also- you have a group of friends? Exellent. Friends make bullies bearable. Finialy- from a nearly friendless kid in Middle school, I ended up with a fairly stalwart bunch of friends (encluding a really fantastic girl- which is more then many of the kids on the football team can say) in high school who couldn't care less that I play D&D, if they don't play themselves, and for the most part, I can take what little bullying I still suffer because of them. Nothing is perfect, you'll probably always have some sort of problem with one person or group or another, but for the most part, things will most likely only get better; endure the bullies now and laugh in their faces in 5 years when your going to a great school and have a few really good friends where as they are retaking their SATs for the third time. lol (damn lingo) As a current 15 yr old in 10th grade, I can add a few things. I have no bullies, and I'm not an "outcast", however, I am a nerd and have built a lot of nerd rage over the years. Mainly because of how steriotypical we all turned out to be. I like to title myself the "only OG nerd" left in Lafayette High school, because I am practically the only one in the school who plays D&D (I did start the D&D group). As strange as it would appear to me, how I've wouned up to be, I WOULD NOT have seen myself as this geek I am 3 or 4 years ago. Just as a lot of people would not have seen themselves smoking dope 3-4 years ago, or being a prep/punk/jock/etc. 3-4 years ago. It just is so funny how we all turned out. It is true that middle school is the WORST time of your life (in school, at least), since everyone is everyone else and if you don't fit into that mold than you are tortured every day up untill summer break. I've known kids back in middle school who were just thrashed into oblivion by these *******s, and are now just self concious and depressed as ever. I usually kept my nerdiness on the DL (no D&D untill the 2nd half of the 8th grade), so I was never a main target, though I was picked on countless times, like everyone else, EVER. It was not untill High school that people started to be more open about things and their personalities, etc. There are still people who get picked on, mainly ******s, but otherwise it has calmed down. I have even made a rep off D&D (a "good" one). I've made friends who are waaayyy different from making D&D jokes. Of course I'm still a "dousche" but those are (some of) my friends, they are suppose to do that. PS: A girl really helps out with the confidence. Especially a good looking one with High charisma! (NERD POINTS!!! :D )
Cole-Terenzin 12-13-05, 07:40 PM	I'm not glad he's dead, but I most certainly didn't mourn his passing either. :whatsthis you may not be glad about it but I for one am estatic. There have been people in my past that have been bullies and made my life HELL. One of them was expelled and died in a stolen car wreck. Another 8!tc# who attacked me for no real reason THEN SCRATCHED UP MY CARE, died from a drug overdose. Am I happy that they breath no more. YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. Would I like to tap dance on their graves. YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
BladeMage_1 12-13-05, 07:45 PM	Am I happy that they breath no more. YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. Would I like to tap dance on their graves. YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. (in Butthead voice) Cool. It's that nerd rage, I'm telling you, it's a killer. :evillaugh
Cole-Terenzin 12-13-05, 08:06 PM	I went to a country school in Australia .. Hey Birrak, Which school did you go to. I went to Padua (Prison Camp) College in Mornington.
Thomasyo4 12-17-05, 10:52 AM	i dont feel like reading all these threads. But i do get rather annoyed by people bullying me about this. I think people nowadays hate indaviduality for some reason. - the pink wizard
Kursk 12-17-05, 11:37 AM	That happened once to me at school in '81. It stopped when I ran the guys head through a locker. Don't defend, attack. Always a good rule. :thumbsup:
Skillness622 12-18-05, 03:29 PM	As an ex-victim of bullying, I have to agree with the sentiments already expressed in this thread. IF you find yourself being bullied for whatever reason, don't try and confront the bullies physically unless you feel like you can take them down comfortably and deal with any retaliatory strike they will pull off (and they will!). Me, I went a different route. I started doing fencing and Iai'jitsu, which pretty much made everyone terrified of me, since me and my mate (who was also in the same situation) started practicing during PE. The reputation we got basically saw off any would-be bullies from then on. (Don't mess with him, he's the psycho with the swords.) Psychological prevention works far better than physical, make them fear going after you, not the other way round.
Master of the Wild 12-19-05, 11:20 AM	Most of the times the bulllied will have a better life than the bullies later in their lives... So, ignore them and think 'yeah, so? Like you will achieve anything with bullying people'...
Illion the Red 12-19-05, 12:43 PM	If you are a teacher Nomad I am surprised that you dont wake up. See what is happening and take action. [Off-Topic Rant]It's a sad social commentary that the lawyers seem to side with the bullies in this regard. If a teacher disciplines a student nowadays, it seems that he or she is putting his or her career at risk.[/Off-Topic Rant] I dealt with bullies in school. They were bigger than me. They were stronger than me. They learned to leave me alone. I fought dirty. Very dirty. I had no issue with tearing someone's ear off of their head. I also never started a fight. I always walked away if I could, but back in those days, that wasn't always an option. Many years have passed since then. I do pretty well for myself. I served in the Army. I compete athletically. I have friends. I'm married. I still play D&D. I have never seen any of the bullies from high school since I graduated...and that's really the most salient point of all this. Unless you live in a small town and plan to spend the rest of your life there, these bullies don't matter. Hint for High School Students: Go away to college. Choose who you want to be before you get there. Be that person...nobody else will know any past baggage. It's the prime time to grow into the person you want to be.
katarl 12-19-05, 02:58 PM	I think people nowadays hate indaviduality for some reason. I don't think people hate individuality, they just hate not understanding something. If you play dnd, they may not understand the mentality of it, and it's so much easier to deal with intellectual problems by ignoring them- with a little help with the physical. I don't agree with dirty fighting, but if it works to stave off bullying... as long as you didn't turn into a bully yourself. Difficult to deal with bullies that way- while they may pressure *you* not to go to teachers/parents/older siblings etc., theres nothing stopping *them*. I understand merely being smart in New Zealand will make you a target for bullies well into college. Thanks be to small mercies.
RoAdKiLL 12-19-05, 05:29 PM	Just remember violence isnt a good way to solve the problem. Firstly your not getting picked on because your playing dnd your getting picked on because your geeks. Just be cool about it. Then you wont get picked on! If they taunt you by saying "wiiiiiiiiiiiih can i play dangeons 'nnd drAgons with you". You say "yep sure" & just be as helpful & friendly as you can, & you take it to the end. If they actually play & join in your session & mess around. & they ask you when the next one is you just say, "ahh sorry we dont want you to participate, you are s***, and you f*** around, so y'know dont come around again" in a respectfull, casual, matter-of-fact & happy manner! Just be cool. (but remember there is a difference between being "cool"(jackass) & cool). Btw there are prats all the way through life & you cant deal with them with violence, i deal with them with the above method & it works.
The Grig Fiddler 12-20-05, 07:09 PM	Two Words:Tire Iron Doesnt work for everyone. Worked for me.
GUR-I 12-20-05, 08:39 PM	For 1 hour a week, 1 punk, 1 nerd, 1 metal fan, 1 goth and 2 track stars meet at our local library, and we have the best time. when people ask me what I do there, I jsut say " I play D&D with a bunch of friends" simple as that, if they laugh, I'll laugh along, and it rarely comes up again. It's a hobby, not my life, and thus I have a great time at school.
SnakePlisken 12-20-05, 10:01 PM	first off it must feel pretty good to start a thread that gets so much attention, and so many ppl suporting you with there advice. nicely done!! ok to the point of the thread. i was never really picked on much in school but i have recived( and dished out) my share of pocking fun.tho most of the ppl i picked on hade such a LARGE target on there head that it was hard not to,im not proud of it but hay i cant change it now. haveing seen both sides of the coin i would rather be picked on then to pick on. sounds weird i knowe, but it always made me feel bad to know that i hurt someone. and for me being picked on wasnt such a bad thing cuz i learned erly to just let it roll off my back. i would be upset for a few hours then i would be fine. may not work for you but hey worked for me. also try haveing faith in god, it helps, maybe not jesus but whatever god you may worshup. haveing faith will defiately help you thru the tough times. or get a gun(any gun will do, even a bee bee gun) and go to a place where its safe to shoot and just blow some stuff away. its fun i did that all thro highschool and it helps me releave some stress. on an up side to that i can now bullseye a target at 100 yards(with a scope :P ) tho not a very powerful scope is needed. anyway like what so many others have said just be yourself and when highschool is over the rules are compleatly differant. GAME ON!!!! :cool:
Ectoplasmoid 12-20-05, 11:53 PM	Consider an active recruiting campaign- you'd be surprised about who'll want to play D&D. There is strength in numbers, and I guarantee you that there are more people than you feeling the wrath of the jocks.
Zariell 12-21-05, 02:31 PM	Im currently a Sr. and i've never had any problems. Most people at my high school minded their own buisness and seldom talked with people they didn't know. Security at my schools pretty low i'd say, you can count em on 1 hand. Harrassment and bullying is probably lower in High School than it was in Jr. High i'd say. Myself, and the people I play with talk about, and read DnD books without any problems at all. If anything, i've met people i'd never expect to be playing DnD this way. One of the people I play with regularly could probably be considered a "Jock" and hes one of the better roleplayers i've met. I've always thought it was just because my generation is different, but maybe its my locaton. (Tacoma Washington, near seattle) We are in one of the nerdiest places in the US, with both Microsoft and WoTc being around. Computer games and Roleplaying games are not only a common sight at my high school, its difficult to meet someone who isn't into one or at least interested in getting into one. People around here are a lot more likely to accept something like DnD simply because there often likely to be off playing online games like World of Warcraft or Dark age of Camelot, and its not much a stretch. Every year we've had a "VEC" (Video Entertainment Club) which is essentially a big room with tons of televisions for people to play console video games and what not. And every year we can hardly fit enough people into the room where its hosted at. Additionally last year we had a Fantasy Card game Club which was for Magic the Gathering and ect. I dunno, maybe im just at a nerdy high school, but the craze is definately on around here, and i've certainly never been bullied or anything of that sort for being apart of it.
orcslayer 12-21-05, 03:34 PM	hey does anyone else get harrased and taunted for being a fantasy nerd. I know at my school all my friends and I get bullied for playing d&d and pive action role playing. Just curiouse if this was happening at other schools. I punched the last guy who harrassed me. I told him I would stab him if it happened again.
Darkmeer 12-21-05, 09:29 PM	As a fantasy player, I don't have any problems now. If someone wants to make a scene, I let them, then point out that I don't care, and walk away (which makes them confused). I don't expend any more energy than necessary to deal with them. They aren't worth it, never have been, and never will be. In high school, it took Columbine High School, the parents whose kids picked on me being on the school board and the label of Threat put on my head to stop the bullying. I was informed of this the whole way, and picked up a nasty habit of saying the most honest and tactically correct way to do a similar massacre in my own school when the subject of "not possible here" began. Not proud of this, but people took notice, and shut up right quick. I'd do it again if I got the chance, too.
feartheinvinceblehamster 12-21-05, 09:53 PM	I have that problem. I go literalist on their insults until they quit in frustration and disgust. Works well for me. "*****" "No, that would suggest I was a female dog, and surprisingly enough, I am neither female nor dog." Another fun way is to, if they are talking the ridocoulous(sp?) slang(me and the homies getting hooked up yo!) I just tell them I don't speak idiot and walk away. And since 'tis the winter months, these kids recently tried to play "harrass the white kid" I had a lot of fun standing in one place laughing at their horrid aim as the fell all around me, taunting them as their throws grew more and more frantic and angered. Eventually I walked away, still giggling. And remember, sticks and stones. Specifically, their application to various parts of the body. One of my 2 favorite revenges were: 1. Kid bet me I couldn't beat him up. I put him in a headlock and showed him to the entire class. 2. Girl who bugged me alot: I gave a 3 minute speech about how she didn't have to make public the fact that she was stupid because it already was public after she said she was stupid. Got me the nickname "Mousolini" It fit. Oh, and if that doesn't work, or if it's offensive enough(homophobic or racist, for example) you can just report it and if they know what's good for them, they'll stop.
feartheinvinceblehamster 12-21-05, 10:03 PM	Consider an active recruiting campaign- you'd be surprised about who'll want to play D&D. There is strength in numbers, and I guarantee you that there are more people than you feeling the wrath of the jocks. did it once, actually got about 5 more people who had never played in their life. Sadly, 3 quit after their characters died(meleeing a minotaur is NOT advised) but 1 became my best friend and the other one who stayed was...my best friend's little brother, so it worked. We've played several campaigns now, even one that got to 22nd level. Cool. Oh, and this one is fun: Most kids aren't comfortable with homosexuality, so I just give them a hug and walk away. very few ever bothered me again. I'm going to one of those private school things for gifted kids for highschool, so I shouldn't really have to deal with it much(They have a fencing team! HAPPINESS!!" Sorry double post.