Post/Author/DateTime	Post
SavevsStupidity 07-02-04, 01:51 PM	Hmmm, I was reading a thread about how the sequel to the Dungeons and Dragons movie will suck, and I started thinking, what could they do to make the next movie better? 1) Replace idiot Beholder watchdogs with mentally retarded Tarrasque watchdogs 2) Replace stupid overused street urchin thief stereotype with more believable peasant-youth-who-is-really-the-world's-greatest-wizard-in-waiting stereotype 3) Realize that no one would ever believe that one magic item could ever control that many dragons. Introduce a new magic item that allows wielder to control several pantheons of deities instead 4) Replace bone-chilling thief testing dungeon-o-traps with a spine tingling game of rock-scissors-paper 5) Replace vulcans with elves. What? They were elves? Oh. My bad. 6) Remind the short smelly guy that no one tosses a dwarf.
Drone23 07-03-04, 10:34 AM	7. Hire Paris Hilton for a leading role so we can watch that weird, hips-first, bow-legged walk she has in every scene. 8. Give the strong, silent-type archvillain's main minion a huge, mouth-twisting Shakespearean-style line when talking to his men. The "...that which hath befallen me" line outside the tavern. 9. Hire Marlon Wayans to play Paris Hilton's role a la White Chicks. 10. Cut out every scene that explains why the main hero can perform magic even though he's not a wizard and is "the chosen one" so he's the only one who can enter the dungeons.
Wood 07-03-04, 11:04 AM	11. Add zombies What would one call a herd of tarrasque? A pack? A flock? Beware my silly negro companion that gets killed by a power ranger, hither cometh a murder of tarrasque.
Seeker95 07-03-04, 11:23 AM	Originally posted by Wood What would one call a herd of tarrasque? A pack? A flock?An illusion. There is only one tarrasque. :D
Wood 07-03-04, 11:41 AM	Says you. Imagine this situation. A Samurai of seventy levels and a blood magus/red wizard of seventy plus levels are sitting in the bar and the blood magus says... "I wish we had a challenge." Enter a d6 of Tarrasque with the paragon/pseudonatural templates. That, my friend, is a murder of Tarrasque.
HamHam 07-03-04, 12:09 PM	Originally posted by SavevsStupidity 3) Realize that no one would ever believe that one magic item could ever control that many dragons. Ignoring the fact that I don't think that many dragons exist in most worlds, a sufficent number of Orbs of Dragonkind might be able to do that.
necrosnoop110 07-03-04, 01:20 PM	Originally posted by Wood What would one call a herd of tarrasque? A pack? A flock? Best guess I would say either: A Pack of Tarrasques (As a group of carnivorous dinosaurs) Or A Congregation of Tarrasques (As a group of crocodilians)
Drone23 07-03-04, 03:15 PM	How about a rampage of tarrasques? Like a murder of crows or a parliament of rooks. Someone once wrote that the D&D movie looked like a 14-year-old's first campaign. 12. Give the elves better-looking armor, for Gary's sake! An ancient culture that was around before humans and their armor is just plain breastplates?! How about some ornamentation? 13. Use the iconics this time. Claudia Black as Mialee, a digitally-reduced Sandra Bullock for Lidda, John-Rhys Davies for Tordek...Ok, that last is typecast, but still..
Mister Mayhem 07-03-04, 03:16 PM	Originally posted by Wood What would one call a herd of tarrasque? A pack? A flock? An armageddon of Tarrasques? An apocalypse of Tarrasques?
Seeker95 07-03-04, 03:46 PM	One Big Tarrasque
Dreamstryder 07-03-04, 07:49 PM	14. Give the lead character a ring that turns everyone but the wearer invisible...& attracts tarrasques.