Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Xill-Lord Psionic Might 05-17-05, 08:12 PM	Why is it that us gamers have this stereotype of the aniti-social nerd and or geek. I am posting this thread while the sting of last nites events are still fresh. I was out last evening witha few friends, and i was speacking with a farily attractive woman. Then one of my buddies just "happens" to mention my gameing. Suddenly this afore mentioned female was disintresed in our conversation. Personally I dont understand the stigma. We probibly have the collecitive creative intellect of illithids and aboleths compared to half of this worlds population. ..mabey another one of my mindless rants....... :rolleyes:
Encard 05-17-05, 08:32 PM	That stereotype persists because, in a lot of cases, it seems to be fairly accurate. Sure, there are plenty of gamers who don't fit the mold - however, there's a large number that do, and this seems particularly likely to be the case when the gamer brings up D&D in the first conversation they have with someone. *shrug* Who knows, maybe everyone else is just jealous, although I somehow doubt it. :P
Draco Strang 05-17-05, 08:59 PM	Indeed the stereotype persists. Most of the guys I've gamed with in the past have fit the stereotype quite nicely in some way or another. It's just an unfortunate thing I guess. Not everyone that plays can be a total fox or giant stud. Personally, I don't give a ****. I've got a pretty healthy social life away from the table, nerd friends and pastime bedamned. If someone wants to ridicule me based solely on a game I play, **** 'em.
Xill-Lord Psionic Might 05-17-05, 09:03 PM	Indeed the stereotype persists. Most of the guys I've gamed with in the past have fit the stereotype quite nicely in some way or another. It's just an unfortunate thing I guess. Not everyone that plays can be a total fox or giant stud. Personally, I don't give a ****. I've got a pretty healthy social life away from the table, nerd friends and pastime bedamned. If someone wants to ridicule me based solely on a game I play, **** 'em. Draco i most certainly agree witheverything you said, Its just that ..well espically in high school it really erked me .it was like were part of some sercet society
Trench_Raider 05-17-05, 09:07 PM	Always remember two things: -In the vast majority of cases if you dig deep enough you will find that a given stereotype has some basis in reality. This is how they became stereotypes in the first place and they are often a handy form of "short hand". -The rarity of the exceptions help to prove the validity of the rule. "Trench Raider"
Dungeon Master 05-17-05, 09:35 PM	We probibly have the collecitive creative intellect of illithids and aboleths compared to half of this worlds population. ...I think you just answered your own question. :P
Agent Cooper 05-17-05, 09:40 PM	Is Dungeons & Dragons and those who play it plagued by negative stereotypes in the United States? Yup. And, deserved or not, it sucks. Are you and your group, right now, in high school, going to be able to change the entire society's opinion about that somehow? Nope. So you have to have a little talk with your buds: D&D = Fight Club. At least till college. By then, if you ARE a smart nerdy type, you'll be set. Playing D&D in the dorm at MIT is probably the pinnacle of cool. Assuming your spelling improves enough by the time you take your SATs to get you INTO a college. ;) And for god's sake, NEVER talk about D&D when you're chatting up the babes! Dude, this guy is NOT a good wingman. What was he thinking?? :rolleyes:
JMalone 05-17-05, 09:41 PM	This stereotype persists, as people above me have mentioned, because it has a basis in reality. Take a look around next time you are gaming, and look at your friends. Chances are that they are nerds, geeks, or some other paradigm that most average people find repellent. I fit the mold myself, barely, and most people don't know it, because I hide it. If you really don't want someone freaking out about it, hide it. Play some sports, hit the gym, go to bars, pick up women/men, whatever. Find something that works and stick with it. I use a veneer of violence and anger, myself.
Draco Strang 05-17-05, 09:43 PM	Draco i most certainly agree witheverything you said, Its just that ..well espically in high school it really erked me .it was like were part of some sercet society Really? The people in high-school gave me less crap about D&D than I get at college. Probably because it was such a small school (100 kids in my graduating class) and they knew how uber-cool I was in other aspects.
was_fired 05-17-05, 09:44 PM	It's D&D geek not nerd. Nerd is a step up from geek since nerds are required to be smart. Sadly not all gamers are, nor does the sterotype indicate that gamers are smart. As for why it is around it's because that in enough cases it is true. The more vocal a person is about D&D the more likely they fit the sterotype. General Social Rule: Don't talk about things which other people don't understand to them. This includes D&D rules, quotes which only make sense if you have seen a movie which they have never seen, or speaking in a language which they are unfamiliar with.
wolf_mage 05-17-05, 09:56 PM	Find something that works and stick with it. I use a veneer of violence and anger, myself. Ugh, the angry nerd stereotype is so uncomfortable to be around.
Wildonion 05-17-05, 10:01 PM	Can't we all just get along? :evillaugh of course not! :D
Neerie 05-17-05, 10:24 PM	It's D&D geek not nerd. Nerd is a step up from geek since nerds are required to be smart. Sadly not all gamers are, nor does the sterotype indicate that gamers are smart. As for why it is around it's because that in enough cases it is true. The more vocal a person is about D&D the more likely they fit the sterotype. General Social Rule: Don't talk about things which other people don't understand to them. This includes D&D rules, quotes which only make sense if you have seen a movie which they have never seen, or speaking in a language which they are unfamiliar with. I think you've nailed it nicely there. It's normal that if someone's only subject of conversation is D&D and other RPG and video games, it WILL be a turn off, and not only to women. The same thing would be true for about pretty much any hobby / interest. Golf might not be vewed as geeky as D&D, but if the same girl came across a guy who could only talk about his handicap and whatnot, she would probably have lost interest too, same goes for any sport, especially if you only enjoy watching it (vs playing it). Rule of thumb: be versatile. Let others get to know YOU before you let them know your gaming habbits, they're probably just shrug since they will have a first impression that is NOT "oh, that guy's a gamer". To me, D&D is just a nice and interesting hobby, but it's not my only hobby, and it's definitely not my only interest. I think that this simple fact makes it so that when someone I barely know hears I play, or plainly sees me reading my DMG while waiting for class to start (and yeah I actually do this), they won't have a negative reaction, I've actually heard many people tell me that they think it's very cool to have such a hobby. Then again, maybe I just live in a very open minded place.... well compared to the USA, hell yeah :D
Zaxon D'Mir 05-17-05, 10:28 PM	Hey, I'm 34 and the stigma never goes away. I casually mentioned that I played D&D in college while dining with fellow employees a few years ago and was met with cold silence and an abrupt change of conversation which did not steer back into my direction because the new topic was something I had no interest or knowledge in. Talk about an awkward feeling. I feel very lucky that I met and married a smart and pretty girl that accepted me for who I am. Now on a side note. When I played D&D in high school it was considered kinda cool (it was the '80s - D&D's golden age) and several jocks played as well as one guy who was runner up for homecoming king and considered quite a looker by the ladies. He never tried to hide the fact he played D&D because he also was considered a bad ass as well. If you made fun of his D&D hobby he'd probably knock you into next week. I've played with all kinds. This game attracts a wide variety of people.
was_fired 05-17-05, 10:49 PM	Hey, I'm 34 and the stigma never goes away. I casually mentioned that I played D&D in college ... a few years ago and was met with cold silence and an abrupt change of conversation ... the new topic was something I had no interest or knowledge in. That isn't a stigma. They did exactly what you did. You talked about something they didn't have interest or knowledge about so they didn't talk about it. Instead the conversation moved on and the subject happened to be one which you didn't know anything about. You talked about their D&D. Then they talked about yours.
Dungeon Master 05-17-05, 10:59 PM	I think you've nailed it nicely there. It's normal that if someone's only subject of conversation is D&D and other RPG and video games, it WILL be a turn off, and not only to women. The same thing would be true for about pretty much any hobby / interest. Golf might not be vewed as geeky as D&D, but if the same girl came across a guy who could only talk about his handicap and whatnot, she would probably have lost interest too, same goes for any sport, especially if you only enjoy watching it (vs playing it). Right, but if you were chatting a lady up and your friend casually mentioned that you played golf, I highly doubt the girl would suddenly become disinterested.
Zodan 05-17-05, 11:09 PM	Why is it that us gamers have this stereotype of the aniti-social nerd and or geek. I am posting this thread while the sting of last nites events are still fresh. I was out last evening witha few friends, and i was speacking with a farily attractive woman. Then one of my buddies just "happens" to mention my gameing. Suddenly this afore mentioned female was disintresed in our conversation. Personally I dont understand the stigma. We probibly have the collecitive creative intellect of illithids and aboleths compared to half of this worlds population. ..mabey another one of my mindless rants....... :rolleyes: Just take solace in the fact that she was obviously an example of the type of person you don't want to associate with because of how they treat you and your interests.
SnowbearK 05-17-05, 11:51 PM	When in Rome. I don't go to a big Superbowl party and talk about D&D. I don't go to my FLGS and talk about the Superbowl. I don't go out to a corporate dinner party and discuss Faces of Death 4 over the pate`. I don't try to pick up chicks and talk about the glory of misogyny throughout history. (A. my wife would kill me, B. it's an example, I'm not a misogynist, C. you get the point.) It's part of having social skills and knowing general etiquette. When it comes to relationships though, you really don't want the other person to look down on your hobbies to any degree. On that note, take Zodan's post to heart. On the other hand, if you were trying to just get laid, then you probably ought to trade some words with your buddy about social skills and general etiquette, because I have no further advice on the subject and this is not the discussion board for such activities.
Neerie 05-17-05, 11:52 PM	Right, but if you were chatting a lady up and your friend casually mentioned that you played golf, I highly doubt the girl would suddenly become disinterested. Unless she thinks that every young guy that play golf has to be snotty ;)
Templetroll 05-18-05, 12:01 AM	And for god's sake, NEVER talk about D&D when you're chatting up the babes! Dude, this guy is NOT a good wingman. What was he thinking?? :rolleyes: He wanted a shot at the babe himself and backstabbed his bud for it. Xill-Lord should check on who his 'friend' is seeing now. ;)
Head_PC 1 05-18-05, 12:48 AM	Indeed the stereotype persists. Most of the guys I've gamed with in the past have fit the stereotype quite nicely in some way or another. It's just an unfortunate thing I guess. Not everyone that plays can be a total fox or giant stud. Personally, I don't give a ****. I've got a pretty healthy social life away from the table, nerd friends and pastime bedamned. If someone wants to ridicule me based solely on a game I play, **** 'em. Hear, hear!
Dungeon Master 05-18-05, 01:56 AM	Unless she thinks that every young guy that play golf has to be snotty ;) ...which leads to the next thought..."i wonder if he is a member of a country club?", which leads to "he must be rich!" SCORE! :)
weasel fierce 05-18-05, 01:56 AM	To be honest, if someone suddenly refuses to talk to you, because you are a gamer, then they are unlikely to be decent people in any event.
Trench_Raider 05-18-05, 02:05 AM	To be honest, if someone suddenly refuses to talk to you, because you are a gamer, then they are unlikely to be decent people in any event. Well said. And in all reality after you get out of the oh-so image consious (spelling)teenage years you are not likely to encounter folks like that too often. "Trench Raider"
Venom of the Yuan Ti 05-18-05, 02:37 AM	I dont know about America, (I've lived in the greatest nation in the world all my life, why whould I want to down grade to America???) but over here the sterotype seems a little broader. Geeks Nerds and Goths. Also the cronicly Buffy obsessed. Come to think of it that DOES cover all of the players in my group, exept one moron and two call themselves neogeeks, by virtue of the fact one had 3 grilfreinds on the trot at once (idiot) and the other spends all of his non D&D spare time doing airsoft. Basicly though D&D is a game for nerds, we are the only ones with a long enough attention span to be able to learn the rules...
was_fired 05-18-05, 03:24 AM	Not really, I have seen DMs twitch at the thought of using something as basic as the pathegorian theorum to determine how far a flying character can throw off a spell. Not to mention the odd looks I get when pulling out the weights of common materials chart. Anything where you only use static facts is the realm of geekdom (history, triva, and D&D). Anything where you use a dynamic set of formulas is for the nerds (science, math, and programing).
Trench_Raider 05-18-05, 03:35 AM	the other spends all of his non D&D spare time doing airsoft. Now THERE is a man after my own heart! "Trench Raider"
Aliquid 05-18-05, 12:00 PM	General Social Rule: Don't talk about things which other people don't understand to them. This includes D&D rules, quotes which only make sense if you have seen a movie which they have never seen, or speaking in a language which they are unfamiliar with.Very important! I can totally appreciate how geeks have a problem with this. I sometimes find myself in the company of non-D&D people, and suddenly realize to myself “wow, a ‘you missed your spot check’ joke would be hilarious right now”….. but I manage to keep my mouth shut, since I know the company I am with won’t get the joke. Some people don’t manage to keep their mouths shut…. it can be hard when you are excited about a subject. This (in my opinion) is a key factor for defining a "geek". Being a geek requires having an obsession with a pastime which is neither academic nor "cool". But the true "geeks" also find it difficult to follow the above social rule. They have difficulty socializing with any subject other than their chosen pastime (be it Star Trek, D&D, video games, or WWII history) It is interesting though, that there are many other people out there who have similar social challenges, yet are not geeks. Those obsessed with academic studies, are typically nerds. I don’t even know what to call those who are obsessed with sports….. but we have all met them. The people who can’t talk about any subject other than football, or golf etc. It is odd that these individuals are more socially acceptable than geeks, even though their behaviour patterns are exactly the same… the only difference is the subject. I suppose it is a matter of familiarity. Even people who don’t care about sports have a general familiarity with them. We all know the basic rules of hockey, golf, basket-ball etc. On the other hand, the general public has very little knowledge of what D&D actually is, and people tend to shun the unknown.
CJDragon 05-18-05, 12:25 PM	I live in England, and so few people have heard of D&D that I don't get much trouble (makes trying to buy stuff a pain in the butt though, I have to drive for twenty min to get an issue of Dragon... *sigh*) Anyway, when I do meet people who know of it either they try to use it against me, which they fail at, or they are really interested in it. I actually spent about an hour explaining the basics to a really hot girl (admittedly she seemed more interested in the pictures than anything else, and said if she played she'd be Miali since she was "pretty" :confused: ) But as has been said, someone who is going to treat you like that just because of a hobby really isn't worth it, especially if you'd have to activly work to hide it from them. On the other hand if she was REALLY hot, then maybe you should smack your friends up side the head with a morningstar to show him that playing D&D makes you tougher than it does geeky :P
ronyon 05-18-05, 12:53 PM	I have gamed in some mannersince I was nine. Always the geek, never the nerd(weird and obssesive, not smart) I learned to hide my true love from the world. Now at age 34 I have had a dozen girlfriends, a couple of whom where science nerds one who was an art geek, none of them where as understanding of my quirks as I was of theirs.The woman I am marrying june 4th is a party girl at heart who ran away from home at 16 to live in the streets and play D&D with her boyfriend(not me, her now ex-husband). Back then she hand copied the Monster Manual. Nowadays she squeals when I give her the Yugio Master Collection volume one for Mothers Day and pouts that I made Munchkin a "family" gift( thus denying her the in game rights that go with ownership :P ). And yeah, she's a babe. Not only that, but she came with an awesome kid( I'm a sucker for kids :rolleyes: :) ). We play Yugio as a family, and we will RP as a family when I feel he can play w/out being a , well a Munchkin. I am living the gamers life, my son lives that life, my friends come over and game with him, hell, he teaches them games! What I am saying is this: If gaming means a lot to you, only form important relationships with those who will at least respect your lifestyle. Dont compromise. Dont share yourself with just anyone.Dont let the bastards get yah down.Dont forget to tell your bud to stop cockblocking ;) And if you do get "outed", just imagine the feeling of soft resistance as your blade punctures the lung, dont forget to twist it on the way out to release it from the ribs, and watch the jerk who is giving you a hard time sputter on his words and sink to the floor, to lay twitching in his own blood. Just imagin.Always makes me feel better :D
screwtape 05-18-05, 03:00 PM	"We probibly have the collecitive creative intellect of illithids and aboleths compared to half of this worlds population." You don't seem to have a problem with the part of the stereotype that says gamers are smarter than everyone else. In my experience, that is the least accurate part of it. I find that gamers are just as dumb as everyone else. I doubt Illithids would spell "probably" wrong.
Xill-Lord Psionic Might 05-18-05, 03:11 PM	ok ok i made afew spelling errors .......im sorry anyway remember i wasnt the one who mentioned my roleplaying it was my freind and any personally i dont hide it, i dont talk about it unless it fits the conversation......and i dont think i fit the stereotype...as my freind and fellow gamer say im a "closet nerd" I play ice hockey and lacrosse, i goto partys on the weedend and im one of the most sociable people in school, i just dont understand why its like well D&D is a character flaw or something ...and about the diffrence between geeks and nerds... i guess im a nerd... i do quite well in school....i just can spell... well i can i just type to fast in this little box thingy and dont check before i post
sedrorovin murghurobag 05-18-05, 03:11 PM	Why is it that us gamers have this stereotype of the aniti-social nerd and or geek. I am posting this thread while the sting of last nites events are still fresh. I was out last evening witha few friends, and i was speacking with a farily attractive woman. Then one of my buddies just "happens" to mention my gameing. Suddenly this afore mentioned female was disintresed in our conversation. Personally I dont understand the stigma. We probibly have the collecitive creative intellect of illithids and aboleths compared to half of this worlds population. ..mabey another one of my mindless rants....... :rolleyes: Let's be straight about things: this game doesn't always attract the most socially well-adjusted people. Nerdy, misanthropic, introverts are as common as the dice which litter our tables. But are the majority of gamers normal folk? Yes. Does this stereotype speak to the majority? No.
mrshupizdumaterinu 05-18-05, 03:35 PM	Speaking from observation... Perhaps you should look through the topics such as "I roleplay with worst players ever" or "I have interhuman relationship problem and need forum people to help me" and then ask again why gamers are treated like they are by rest of the populace.
Draco Strang 05-18-05, 03:40 PM	i just dont understand why its like well D&D is a character flaw or something They're in Unearthed Arcana, page 91.
Aliquid 05-18-05, 03:45 PM	i just dont understand why its like well D&D is a character flaw or somethingIt is the stigma attached to D&D. The "stereotypical" D&D player is a geek who acts a bit on the strange side... as far as I am concerned, that's nothing to be ashamed of. People who don't act a bit strange are boring. Try this as an example: Person 'A' - not very intelligent (low grades), aggressive, enjoys making people feel physically inferior, swears a lot, rude. Person 'B' - Honour roll student, calm, polite, caring, and sensitive to other people's feelings Which one matches what comes to mind when you think ‘Jock’? Is that stereotype fair? ...and about the diffrence between geeks and nerds... i guess im a nerd... i do quite well in school....i just can spell... well i can i just type to fast in this little box thingy and dont check before i postDoing well in school doesn’t really make you a nerd. It is the obsession with academic studies that makes someone a nerd. The fact that they think doing a quadratic equation is great fun makes them a nerd. Simply getting good grades makes you smart.