Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Tomovasky 02-26-05, 03:04 AM	Hey Guys and Girls, need you to come up with some good old pick up lines for one of my players. His good is the good of love and (humm) other stuff,
Dotac 02-26-05, 03:20 AM	My sword is so big, you need exotic proficiency and monky grip just to weild it with two hands... and you still take a -2
MadBlue 02-26-05, 03:32 AM	"Hey baby, come on over to my place and check out my Monstrous Compendium". "I'll make you feel so good, you'll scream out the names of the gods - even the minor ones". MadBlue
Bluebrush 02-26-05, 08:15 AM	"Is that the blade of Azertah, destoryer of mortals, sunderered of nations, stealer of dragons souls, death of the sun, tamer of the legendary purple dragon, smith of the great silver trebuchet and king of all who behold him in your pocket or are your just pleased to see me?" Or, more hotly: "I can cast prestigiation you know."
Jefuri no Oni 02-26-05, 08:18 AM	Hey Babe are you descended from a Nymph, cause I'm blinded by your beauty.
Jefuri no Oni 02-26-05, 08:19 AM	Is that a dragon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.
Damien_Hiro 02-26-05, 08:52 AM	Do you want to get some rations and sex? (After negative response) What, you don't like rations?
ORC_Paradox 02-26-05, 09:46 AM	Usually it's: "Pick up some pizza on your way over." "Did you remember to pick up some soda?" "Pick up my dice off the floor!" "Did you pick up the latest Eberron book?" "Dude, have your mage pick up his feet! We're getting killed here!"
Nomad4life 02-26-05, 10:21 AM	You are powerless against my charisma modifier. Would you like to play with my dice tonight? Sorry, but you can’t turn me down without the proper use of evasion. So, baby, what’s your alignment? Did I ever mention that I can use the agile, endurance, mounted combat, nimble fingers, rapid reload, and spring attack feats with a perform check?
Bulabase 02-26-05, 01:30 PM	"What's your favored class?"
TheRedRobedWizard 02-26-05, 02:03 PM	"I could roll a natural 1 on my spot check and still pick your radiant form out of a crowd." If all else fails, there's always the classic: "I wonder what your 18 Charisma is worth, 'under the hood'." -TRRW
Ricochet 02-27-05, 10:51 AM	You took my heart with a Natural 20
Ivid 02-27-05, 02:59 PM	Insert Sword HERE
Super Guy 02-27-05, 03:53 PM	For all the pirate players out there... "If I were a pirate, I'd like to get ahold of your booty" "If I were a pirate, I'd plunder you" ;)
Joni-san 02-27-05, 07:00 PM	"Do you know the Charm spell, becuase baby, you sure seem like it" "Are you a Cleric of the Goddess of Love?" "You cast 9'th level spells of icy hot love" "You sneak attacked my heart with love" "Your special ability is "Sexy Fox" I better stop before I get carried away :P
Damaramu 02-27-05, 07:11 PM	Rogues do it from behind!
PsionScribe 02-27-05, 07:20 PM	Best one for a cleric: "You're going to have to take off your breast-plate for me to heal you." Dox: :rolleyes:
straal 03-02-05, 11:32 PM	Do you want to see my chain mail thong? Halfling says "Not all of me is half-sized :D " Let me cast displacement on our clothes. Druid (or Rangers) like the BUSH Elf says "Imagine what positions you can learn living to be 300years old" Straal
HomebrewedMonster 03-03-05, 03:29 AM	Wizard "You can cast stoneskin twice with my family jewels." Fighter "My greatsword and I have one thing in common, both do double damage with power attack." Ranger "I'm ambidexterious." *wink* Sorcerer "You know, I'm 25% dragon, and channeling arcane might isn't the only thing I inheirated." Ninja *Ninja appear*"Sudden Strike."*Ninja disappear*......*confused women* Frenzied Berserker "Raaaarrrrrr.....me sex you now!!!" *Rage/Frenzy* Divine Oracle "You might as well just say yes, I know what postion your going to end up in." Master of Forms "So, do you like animals?"
Bulabase 03-03-05, 05:02 PM	Bladesinger "As long as I hold my blade in my hand, nothing can touch me." *Uh, maybe that's not so good*
Titan W 03-03-05, 05:08 PM	Rogue: "If I have the guts to use this dagger, just immagine the possiblites..."
PsionScribe 03-03-05, 05:31 PM	The Gnome: "I'd like to ride you like my dog"
flamefist drunkenmonk 03-03-05, 05:41 PM	"Can i stick my immovable rod in your portable hole?"
Helmed Horror 03-03-05, 06:58 PM	Your Mage’s Magnificent Mansion or mine?
Ogre4Hire 03-04-05, 01:06 PM	I thought the title said "D&D Pickup Lines." Not "D&D Pickup Lines that are likely to get you Shocking Grasped." Uh, that didn't come out quite the way I intended.
pseudoidiot 03-04-05, 02:33 PM	"Three words: Bigby's Groping Hand"
Psychoray 03-04-05, 02:46 PM	"Three words: Bigby's Groping Hand" Don't forget 'Bigby's forceful entry' O_o
Mecha Zero 03-04-05, 02:56 PM	"Comeon let me show you my Mordenkainen's Force Missiles?" Soul Knife "Would you like me to show you how well I can manifest?"
Spiff 03-04-05, 03:21 PM	I think I failed my will save, cause you've charmed me.
Klink 03-04-05, 03:34 PM	Orc schmork...wanna pork?
sorvikcorsair 03-04-05, 03:44 PM	Sorcerer: <Silently casts Disrobe> "Well if you really want to babe!" "My lenses of True Seeing can see your beauty through anything." (Useing nearly any spell from BoEF will get you a good night)
pseudoidiot 03-04-05, 03:48 PM	wanna see my shillelagh?
Janusunaj 03-04-05, 07:40 PM	I'm a mage, want to see Janus'es tentacles of forced intrusion? Come here, I want to give you a very shocking grasp! My hands are burning with love for you! I hope to see you real Sune! I've got epic level equipment on me. Even Ilsensine is jealous of your sex organ! Sharyss has nothing on you, and I know, we sat together in high school and got quite intimate. You are my magic queen. It would take all of Waukeen's cash to buy your body! Lathander has nothing on this morning light.
RDQ 03-04-05, 09:58 PM	Oie ya'll r good *thinks to self better call the senior that likes me an tell him to stay out of here otherwise next Friday the others aint gunna b happy with us... ;) *
ledfan 03-04-05, 10:29 PM	"you dont look like a medusa but your gaze makes me stiff"
RDQ 03-04-05, 10:35 PM	One thats been used on me--I'll shift my shape for u anytime
Psychotic Loner 03-05-05, 02:38 AM	Good as place as any to ask, I suppose. What is a "pickup line"?
witchunterb 03-05-05, 04:30 AM	My animal companion wants to get to know you
witchunterb 03-05-05, 04:31 AM	My animal companion is a baboon. He tought me how they greet each other in his society. turn around, i'll sniff first
Lion's Shield 03-05-05, 01:00 PM	Old and Dirty! Got any Barbarian in you? Want some? :D
simen_88 03-06-05, 09:06 AM	Good as place as any to ask, I suppose. What is a "pickup line"? It's something you say to imply that you want to have sex with someone, but is afraid to say it straight out. My weapon's got 10 foot reach.
RDQ 03-06-05, 12:13 PM	It's something you say to imply that you want to have sex with someone, but is afraid to say it straight out. Thats one way of puttin it anouther is that the person just wants to get to "know" you better...
pseudoidiot 03-09-05, 02:10 AM	female character: "Wanna see my portable hole?"
ImmortalBlueMage 03-09-05, 04:33 AM	Halfling Outrider: So, am I the only one around here who does it doggy?
LaegolasGreenleaf 03-09-05, 05:40 AM	Are you a Sunite priestess or Sune incarnate? Either way, baby, you light my fire.
PsionScribe 03-09-05, 07:07 AM	Male Knight: When you come by I need to tame my dragon... Female Druid: I'm all natural. Yes, even those.
MarkB 03-09-05, 08:14 AM	"I'm so pleased to see you I had to wear my Codpiece of Holding."
PsionScribe 03-09-05, 08:36 AM	"I'm so pleased to see you I had to wear my Codpiece of Holding." :P
RDQ 03-09-05, 09:28 AM	I am gunna have to show this to the guys in my group just to seee the expessions on their faces... :shocked: na I won't be that mean to them... :D
Jonasty 03-09-05, 02:37 PM	I hope you have Improved Evasion cause here comes the Money Shot! Naw baby the Satyr's just rehearsing. Bondage?! Honey I've got Force Cage memorized a dozen times.
PsionScribe 03-11-05, 09:57 PM	:bump:
Chaosminion 04-09-05, 08:51 PM	"I have greater cleavage and improved orgasm."
Prgrmr@wrk 04-10-05, 12:25 AM	I devoted 3 spells slots to Endurance this morning. Yes, that is a rod of wonder in my pocket. Regardless, I'm still happy to see you. I'm so good in bed that you'll feel like you spontaneously cast Time Stop. Let's just say I've never performed a quickened action in my entire life. Did you know polymorph spells don't wear off all at once? And I defeated a troll yesterday by turning into something veeery interesting.
Flame_Drake 04-10-05, 12:59 AM	Don't forget 'Bigby's forceful entry' O_o And Evan's spiked tentacles of forced intrusion (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=20) :twitch:
FloppyLlama 04-10-05, 02:47 PM	ok, I know this is a little weird, but I came up with a couple of Paladin pick-up lines. (Yeah, so he won't be a Paladin for very long) "I'd like to lay my hands on you" "How 'bout we go back to your place... I'll smite you with my greatsword." "You can be my special mount for the night"
Jonman99 04-10-05, 03:34 PM	Hey, we're looking for a druidress, you cast a charm spell on me! Every dungeon master worth his weight in gold always carries a 20 sided die.
buggritall 04-11-05, 03:37 AM	Nice axe there baby. Wanna see my shaft? Did it hurt when you fell from Celestia? Dragons wake up when they see a beautiful virgin. I keep one in my pants. I'm not sure that last one made sense. :confused:
Ectoplasmoid 04-11-05, 05:00 AM	Shifter "I'm a real tiger in the sack." Gnome Wizard "Conservation of height, baby- the extra inches have to go somewhere." And on a slightly different note: "You know, this Hand of Vecna really puts a dent in my social life."
Darklord Greywolff 04-11-05, 05:24 AM	Want to see my 10' pole? I have Bear's Endurance, Enlarge, and Polymorph any object memorized. I have a dex of 22, 10 ranks in ride, balance, and use rope. Wanna pet my snake familiar?
Eliza_Stormwhisper 04-11-05, 10:25 AM	This thread is absolutely disgusting.
AzarKing 04-11-05, 10:49 AM	Hey, as much as I hate to bring up the subject, sex is in D&D worlds too
Decius 04-11-05, 12:04 PM	From the halfling or gnome: "I'm not as short as my height would indicate."
Big Tom 04-11-05, 07:58 PM	I'm real good with Mage Hand. I just made a 20 on my seduction roll. I got a Rod of Lordly Might in my pants.
HypnoticMonk 04-11-05, 08:40 PM	This thread is absolutely disgusting. Yes it is! I am shocked!! It would take an immature, sexually frustrated person to come up with anything to post on this board!! Whispering... my monk's pickup lines (and other ones I thought up)- "I'd love to try out my new Improved Grapple feat on you?" "want to see what's under my robes?" "Even my evasion ability fails to save vs. your beauty" "My hands might flurry fast, but there are somethings we do really S L O W " "You must be a druid, because you have a 'timeless body' " "you must have Improved Disarm because you have snatched away my heart." "want to see why they call it a Rod of Wonder?" ::: looking around ::: Yes, this thread is simply shameful!!! :angel:
Joni-san 04-12-05, 12:44 PM	This thread is absolutely disgusting. I agree. This type of behavior in un-acceptable :tantrum: While we are at it. Some Artificer ones: * Yes, I can make "Love potions" * Do you know the alchemical symbol for love? * There's more than one way to use a Homunculus UN-ACCEPTABLE!!!
Syrus The Red 04-12-05, 01:41 PM	[QUOTE=Joni-san]I agree. This type of behavior in un-acceptable :tantrum: Yes, Totally un-acceptable. I shall inform all of your mothers. Here are some dwarven ones: Hey there lassy, ever wonder why we dwarves keep are beards at such great lenght? Do ya want to shine me hammer? Can I touch your beard? (what one dwarf says to another) I may be short in stature, but I make up for it in (looks around) stoutness. Can I by you a drink...about ten o'them...we'll have a contest... :D Dwarven Dude:If ya were any more beautiful I'd think I was daydreamin about me gal at Mithral Hall. Fair Young Lass:You've been to Mithral Hall? Dwarven Dude:Been There? HAHA, Lassy I Practically Carved It out meself! I Can't believe I just did that...
Alcari Ambaron 04-12-05, 04:24 PM	This thread is brillia....i mean, utterly horrible. :)
Herald@Large 04-12-05, 08:57 PM	"Milady, would you honor this lonely warrior by having dinner/a glass of wine with me?" Simple, basic, polite. :D
HypnoticMonk 04-12-05, 09:51 PM	"Milady, would you honor this lonely warrior by having dinner/a glass of wine with me?" Simple, basic, polite. :D Herald, how DARE YOU try to drag our minds out of the gutter?!?!?!?!? My mind is doing perfectly fine down here in the sewage ::: reading my well-worn copy of Barely Legal Elves quarterly (which for them would be when they are 50...) :::
Journeyman Samwise 04-12-05, 11:06 PM	How this thread made it so far without a reference to "I put on my wizard robe and hat..." confuses me so. I'm ashamed to know you guys. "Hey baby, wanna go visit the red gazeebo of love?"
Joni-san 04-13-05, 12:42 PM	How this thread made it so far without a reference to "I put on my wizard robe and hat..." confuses me so. I'm ashamed to know you guys. "Hey baby, wanna go visit the red gazeebo of love?" "I put on my wizard robe and hat..."? Oh I know that one... :angelhide
Herald@Large 04-13-05, 03:26 PM	Herald, how DARE YOU try to drag our minds out of the gutter?!?!?!?!? Get *your* mind out of the gutter so mine can flow by! :P Actually, I was simply posting a pick-up line that might actually *work*! :D Seriously, though, being female myself, the majority of these lines, if tried on me, would at best get you laughed at. Some would merit an icy glare, and a few might actually get you slapped!
HypnoticMonk 04-13-05, 08:20 PM	Get *your* mind out of the gutter so mine can flow by! :P Actually, I was simply posting a pick-up line that might actually *work*! :D Seriously, though, being female myself, the majority of these lines, if tried on me, would at best get you laughed at. Some would merit an icy glare, and a few might actually get you slapped! Pickup lines actually WORK IRL??? :shocked: :OMG! Since when??? Why hasn't anyone ever told any woman I have ever talked about that fact?? ( and taking my own turn to be serious, for a D&D pickup line, how about "M'Lady, your beauty has made my eyes appreciate the gift of sight , your eyes have inspired my soul like only the most amazing and majestic sunsets have ever done before and this proud warrior is disarmed and powerless against your smile. If you are so inclined, would you grant me the pleasure of spending the afternoon picnicing by the riverbank so that we might savor the simple innocent pleasure of a man and a woman getting to know each other better? " )
Syrus The Red 04-14-05, 08:58 AM	Pickup lines actually WORK IRL??? :shocked: :OMG! Since when??? Why hasn't anyone ever told any woman I have ever talked about that fact?? ( and taking my own turn to be serious, for a D&D pickup line, how about "M'Lady, your beauty has made my eyes appreciate the gift of sight , your eyes have inspired my soul like only the most amazing and majestic sunsets have ever done before and this proud warrior is disarmed and powerless against your smile. If you are so inclined, would you grant me the pleasure of spending the afternoon picnicing by the riverbank so that we might savor the simple innocent pleasure of a man and a woman getting to know each other better? " ) Smooth man...real smooth... You must have like a bajillion elven heroms or something. Can you teach me some more o' great silver-tongued one.
HypnoticMonk 04-14-05, 09:15 AM	Smooth man...real smooth... You must have like a bajillion elven heroms or something. Can you teach me some more o' great silver-tongued one. ( OK , my sarcasm meter is on the fritz therefore I can't tell if sarcasm is being used here, so I will just answer honestly and with no smart alecky commentary in return.) Oddly enough, I usually play socially backward characters ( right now, my main characters are a half-orc monk and a badly fire-scarred wizard). The one time I did play a high charisma character... I did ok ;) And to stay with the thread : "M'Lady, the mightiest of wizards would be powerless against the magic that resides in your elegant beauty."
Syrus The Red 04-14-05, 01:22 PM	( OK , my sarcasm meter is on the fritz therefore I can't tell if sarcasm is being used here, so I will just answer honestly and with no smart alecky commentary in return.) No, I am not being sarcastic. I just can't speak so eloquetnly with females. It's like what Eddie Izzard says when he trys to get the words out the way he imagined them but instead comes out something more like this, " HI! Do you like bread? I've got french loaf. (hits girl in head with bread) , goodbye.....I love you...."
Aricandor 04-14-05, 03:16 PM	Ahh, yes, learn from Herald. I bet she can tell you which lines would work and which would not. A little hint though: A slap won't get them out of the way. I think you need a stick. Or a baseball bat.
Herald@Large 04-14-05, 06:52 PM	Ahh, yes, learn from Herald. I bet she can tell you which lines would work and which would not. Awwwwwww ... :love: Now *that* one would work! Some tips (both for RL and DnD): 1. Women like to be flattered (but don't lay it on *too* thick) 2. Women like to be treated like they're special. If you've asked 6 women in as many minutes (and been turned down), your chances with #7 are about as good. 3. "No" means NO. Period. End of discussion. Not "maybe". Not "I'll think about it". And *definitely* not "ask me again in 2 minutes". 4. Despite what men like to think, most women are not interested in the size of your "equipment". "It's not the size of the wand, it's the magic of the user." "It's not the size of the boat, it's how skillfully you dock and how long you stay in port." :D 5. Brush your teeth! Few things turn a woman off more quickly than bad breath and/or scuzzy teeth. 6. Don't act or talk like you're doing her a favor, or that she should be thanking you on her knees for the "privilege" of sharing a bed with you. 7. Respect her personal space and her dignity. Walking up to a total stranger, putting your arm around her and saying "Hey baby, how 'bout a quicky?" will probably get you decked. By her.
Asmodeous 04-15-05, 01:31 AM	Yes it is! I am shocked!! It would take an immature, sexually frustrated person to come up with anything to post on this board!! Oh bother! Now I am forced to post something in this thread! :D "Now you know what they named the purple worm after."
Aricandor 04-15-05, 08:05 AM	Huh? *I* said something that wasn't offensive to anyone? And even... *shudder*... "Flattering"? :uh-huh: I must be getting out of shape.. :P
Alcari Ambaron 04-15-05, 10:26 AM	Some tips (both for RL and DnD): 1. Women like to be flattered (but don't lay it on *too* thick) 2. Women like to be treated like they're special. If you've asked 6 women in as many minutes (and been turned down), your chances with #7 are about as good. 3. "No" means NO. Period. End of discussion. Not "maybe". Not "I'll think about it". And *definitely* not "ask me again in 2 minutes". 4. Despite what men like to think, most women are not interested in the size of your "equipment". "It's not the size of the wand, it's the magic of the user." "It's not the size of the boat, it's how skillfully you dock and how long you stay in port." 5. Brush your teeth! Few things turn a woman off more quickly than bad breath and/or scuzzy teeth. 6. Don't act or talk like you're doing her a favor, or that she should be thanking you on her knees for the "privilege" of sharing a bed with you. 7. Respect her personal space and her dignity. Walking up to a total stranger, putting your arm around her and saying "Hey baby, how 'bout a quicky?" will probably get you decked. By her. try it all, and you would still get turned down..... my advise, dont take any advise on REAL life situation from people on a fantasy board.....:D or is that a paradox?? :P
Aricandor 04-15-05, 12:16 PM	First, I don't think she meant it like "these things = 100% success!" but rather "this works better than the standard things you boorish louts use". Second, yes, it's a paradox of such epic proportions that the universe will soon collapse in on itself. Have a nice day, because it's about to end. :P
Herald@Large 04-15-05, 04:37 PM	First, I don't think she meant it like "these things = 100% success!" but rather "this works better than the standard things you boorish louts use". Right on the money! "These things" can't equal 100% success because -- [pause for drumroll] -- Women Are Different! :OMG! And now, to drag this thread kicking and screaming back on topic -- :D "Milady, elvensong is nothing compared to the sound of your voice. Perhaps you would be willing to whisper sweet nothings in my ear?"
Aricandor 04-15-05, 05:00 PM	Yay! I'm useful! :D
Joni-san 04-16-05, 06:26 PM	Here is one for in-game Eberr@n: Warforged are always hard. That one was bad :D
HypnoticMonk 04-16-05, 07:04 PM	And now, to drag this thread kicking and screaming back on topic -- :D "Milady, elvensong is nothing compared to the sound of your voice. Perhaps you would be willing to whisper sweet nothings in my ear?" ::: taking notes :::: allrighty then!! How about "M'lady, warriors and mages alike have risked life and limb for centuries for treasures less valuable than getting a chance at gaining your favor. Is there a particular dragon you would like me to slay singlehandedly so that you might look upon me favorably, or will just any of them do?"
simen_88 04-16-05, 07:52 PM	" How you doin'?"
Callahan 04-16-05, 08:49 PM	If you don't like the charm spell, I've got an enlarge spell too.
stealth_monkey 04-17-05, 12:05 PM	Slightly off topic- but best dnd euphemism for sex i've ever heard (its sorta bad, but not as graphic as some of the other posts) "lets just say I rolled a critical with my +1 meat cudgel"