D&D Tribute to Steve Irwin [Archive] - Wizards Community

D&D Tribute to Steve Irwin [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Morlachmir
12-26-06, 12:41 PM A D&D tribute to the man who bested more than just old reptiles...

A fellow D&D player of mine told me that his lower level rogues would "go hunting for locks" at night in the big city, citing the price for good and amazing locks. This was born.

You follow a blond haired, blue eyed human of average height wearing tan, plain shorts, a matching shirt, and tough hiking boots as he stalks the streets this night, carefully trying to avoid the attention of his prey. Every now and then, he looks over his shoulder, and speaks in hushed tones with you, informing you of the quarry.

"Aye mate, tonaight we hunt loks. Now, you have to be careful of these loks. Remember: you are in his tareetory; he is in his elemant."

He freezes suddenly, his arms cocked at right angles and held slightly out from his sides. And then, without warning, he lunges towards a length of chain holding cellar gates together.

"Crikey!" he exclaims as he thrashes around with the chain. "Look a' the size of this bee-oot!"

After some time, he finally is able to wrest the object connecting the lengths of chain into view. "Look a' this, this 'ere is an am-aizing lok! Look a' the tri - no waet - quad tumblahs!" His boyish grin and youthful exuberance are contagious. He fumbles with something in his pocket for a moment before bringing to bear a set of lockpicks. As he carefully inserts one of them into the opening of the lock, he continues in a much softer tone. "Now this, this 'ere don't hurt this bee-oot none. I've worked with these mah entire life, and I've learned the 'ard way, often then not, about what to do and not around these wonderful creechurs. What we're doin' here tonait is attemptin' to reelocate this big felluh tuh another part of the city, someplace he'll be 'appy, with lots of room to live and plenny 'o bee-utiful mates."

As he carefully, almost lovingly attempts to disarm this amazing lock, you hear a loud snap. "CRIKEY!" he cries, pulling back a fist clenching a stub of metal. "Look at 'ow he broke the probe ri' off! Imagine if that were a fingah! There'd be nottin' left ah it!"

A short time later, he manages to unlock and disengage a locking mechanism roughly the size of two fists. "Crikey," he states, and you can virtually feel his sense of awe. He hefts the object in both hands carefully, saying "this 'ere fellah has ta be a five-poundah! I've 'erd stories of some gettin' up neah ten pounds. Now that's a lot of lok!"

He re-engages the locking mechanism, putting a plain potato sack over it, and begins lovingly, almost in a croon to half-whisper "It's ok mate. Noone's gunna 'urt cha now." This he repeats several times as he begins to lead you through various alleyways and streets, finally ending up at a fairly large section of what seems to only be wrought-iron fences draped in chains.

"This is a lok reabillitation that I own with me lovely wife. She and I take in 'urt loks, as well as othah deevices. 'Ere they'll find a nice safe place to stay until we can find a good new 'ome for them."

He motions for you to wait about fifteen feet from the chain-draped fences, and he moves to about five feet away. He carefully takes the sack off of the lock, and quickly drops the lock and hops back a good three feet into a half crouch, arms held slightly out from his body in a defensive stance. "Go on, go on mate," he begins to say gently to the lock laying motionless on the ground. "Go on, noone'll 'urtcha."

He slowly backs off and approches you again. "It's sad what's 'appening now. Now, people are buildin' doors and windows with loks and such already built in, not even thinkin' about thah tragedy that's 'appenin' to the loks. Their numbahs are dwindlin', and people are pawnin' them for the money, some times sellin' them only for scraps. It's 'orrible what's 'appening to these bee-ootiful creechurs, an' noone really hears about it or cares."

He heaves a big sigh, then that youthful grin begins to steal itself back onto his face, and you feel a similar one beginning to work its way back onto yours. "But I'll always 'elp the littal guys. Until next time mate, 'ere's Jeeves Irvin, the Lok Huntah, sayin' goodnight, and take ca-ah."
Zaku
12-26-06, 01:11 PM From the age of 5-10 I didn't watch cartoons or kiddy shows. My dad is a biologist so we grew up with the crocodile hunter. I was sad when Irwin died. Its like watching Barney, the pope and elmo all rolled in one just disappear. I like this. Brings back old and pleasant memories....
High Octane
12-26-06, 01:26 PM R.I.P Steve Irwin.

I was thinking of basing a D&D NPC in my campaign after him, but he wouldnt have the Aussie accent (makes it a bit more subtle)

He would be a mid-high level Ranger who would bring the local kids out on hikes and used his animal empathy skill to educate the kids.

Alignment: Neutral Good.
Edymnion
12-26-06, 01:30 PM R.I.P Steve Irwin.

I was thinking of basing a D&D NPC in my campaign after him, but he wouldnt have the Aussie accent (makes it a bit more subtle)

He would be a mid-high level Ranger who would bring the local kids out on hikes and used his animal empathy skill to educate the kids.

Alignment: Neutral Good.Would definately have Animal as his favored enemy. :)

And before anybody dredges up the 2e "Rangers hate their favored enemy!" stuff as a reason why Steve here wouldn't have it, remember that this does not apply in 3e. 3e has the favored enemy based off of exceptional knowledge and skill when dealing with that particular type, hence the bonuses to things like spot and sense motive. And if anybody knew animals and could read them like a book on sight, it was Steve Irwin.
Chippy_the_Devourer
12-26-06, 05:35 PM Am I a bad person for cracking open the MM2, seeing the Ixitxachitl, and immediately thinking of a somewhat evil tribute to Steve? :confused: :weep: As in, I would make a ranger, have him fight said monster... :weep:
Edymnion
12-26-06, 06:00 PM Am I a bad person for cracking open the MM2, seeing the Ixitxachitl, and immediately thinking of a somewhat evil tribute to Steve? :confused: :weep: As in, I would make a ranger, have him fight said monster... :weep:I'd say poor taste, at most.
High Octane
12-26-06, 06:59 PM Am I a bad person for cracking open the MM2, seeing the Ixitxachitl, and immediately thinking of a somewhat evil tribute to Steve? :confused: :weep: As in, I would make a ranger, have him fight said monster... :weep:

:nonono:
Galeigh
12-27-06, 12:37 AM Cool tribute, may he rest in peace.
KurenaiYami
12-27-06, 04:01 AM Am I a bad person for cracking open the MM2, seeing the Ixitxachitl, and immediately thinking of a somewhat evil tribute to Steve? :confused: :weep: As in, I would make a ranger, have him fight said monster... :weep:

Yes, you are a horrible, horrible person for that.

Bad Chippy, bad!
High Octane
12-27-06, 10:10 AM 3e has the favored enemy based off of exceptional knowledge and skill when dealing with that particular type, hence the bonuses to things like spot and sense motive.

Not to mention GRAPPLE. :)
kelvinaw273
12-27-06, 03:30 PM I am now caught up with the idea of Steve Irwin prowling through a dungeon and pouncing on unsuspecting inhabitants, imobilizing them and displaying them for the camera:

Stevce: "Crikey! look at this beauty, a real alpha male ogre if ever I saw one!"

Ogre: "Get off me!"

Steve: "And it looks like he isn't too happy to have us around here -"

Ogre: "I'll rip your bloody head off and c**p down the hole when you let me go!"

Steve: "Ogres are known for being very aggressive, so don't try this at home!"

RIP Steve .... hope you last word was "Crikey!"

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Morlachmir 12-26-06, 12:41 PM	A D&D tribute to the man who bested more than just old reptiles... A fellow D&D player of mine told me that his lower level rogues would "go hunting for locks" at night in the big city, citing the price for good and amazing locks. This was born. You follow a blond haired, blue eyed human of average height wearing tan, plain shorts, a matching shirt, and tough hiking boots as he stalks the streets this night, carefully trying to avoid the attention of his prey. Every now and then, he looks over his shoulder, and speaks in hushed tones with you, informing you of the quarry. "Aye mate, tonaight we hunt loks. Now, you have to be careful of these loks. Remember: you are in his tareetory; he is in his elemant." He freezes suddenly, his arms cocked at right angles and held slightly out from his sides. And then, without warning, he lunges towards a length of chain holding cellar gates together. "Crikey!" he exclaims as he thrashes around with the chain. "Look a' the size of this bee-oot!" After some time, he finally is able to wrest the object connecting the lengths of chain into view. "Look a' this, this 'ere is an am-aizing lok! Look a' the tri - no waet - quad tumblahs!" His boyish grin and youthful exuberance are contagious. He fumbles with something in his pocket for a moment before bringing to bear a set of lockpicks. As he carefully inserts one of them into the opening of the lock, he continues in a much softer tone. "Now this, this 'ere don't hurt this bee-oot none. I've worked with these mah entire life, and I've learned the 'ard way, often then not, about what to do and not around these wonderful creechurs. What we're doin' here tonait is attemptin' to reelocate this big felluh tuh another part of the city, someplace he'll be 'appy, with lots of room to live and plenny 'o bee-utiful mates." As he carefully, almost lovingly attempts to disarm this amazing lock, you hear a loud snap. "CRIKEY!" he cries, pulling back a fist clenching a stub of metal. "Look at 'ow he broke the probe ri' off! Imagine if that were a fingah! There'd be nottin' left ah it!" A short time later, he manages to unlock and disengage a locking mechanism roughly the size of two fists. "Crikey," he states, and you can virtually feel his sense of awe. He hefts the object in both hands carefully, saying "this 'ere fellah has ta be a five-poundah! I've 'erd stories of some gettin' up neah ten pounds. Now that's a lot of lok!" He re-engages the locking mechanism, putting a plain potato sack over it, and begins lovingly, almost in a croon to half-whisper "It's ok mate. Noone's gunna 'urt cha now." This he repeats several times as he begins to lead you through various alleyways and streets, finally ending up at a fairly large section of what seems to only be wrought-iron fences draped in chains. "This is a lok reabillitation that I own with me lovely wife. She and I take in 'urt loks, as well as othah deevices. 'Ere they'll find a nice safe place to stay until we can find a good new 'ome for them." He motions for you to wait about fifteen feet from the chain-draped fences, and he moves to about five feet away. He carefully takes the sack off of the lock, and quickly drops the lock and hops back a good three feet into a half crouch, arms held slightly out from his body in a defensive stance. "Go on, go on mate," he begins to say gently to the lock laying motionless on the ground. "Go on, noone'll 'urtcha." He slowly backs off and approches you again. "It's sad what's 'appening now. Now, people are buildin' doors and windows with loks and such already built in, not even thinkin' about thah tragedy that's 'appenin' to the loks. Their numbahs are dwindlin', and people are pawnin' them for the money, some times sellin' them only for scraps. It's 'orrible what's 'appening to these bee-ootiful creechurs, an' noone really hears about it or cares." He heaves a big sigh, then that youthful grin begins to steal itself back onto his face, and you feel a similar one beginning to work its way back onto yours. "But I'll always 'elp the littal guys. Until next time mate, 'ere's Jeeves Irvin, the Lok Huntah, sayin' goodnight, and take ca-ah."
Zaku 12-26-06, 01:11 PM	From the age of 5-10 I didn't watch cartoons or kiddy shows. My dad is a biologist so we grew up with the crocodile hunter. I was sad when Irwin died. Its like watching Barney, the pope and elmo all rolled in one just disappear. I like this. Brings back old and pleasant memories....
High Octane 12-26-06, 01:26 PM	R.I.P Steve Irwin. I was thinking of basing a D&D NPC in my campaign after him, but he wouldnt have the Aussie accent (makes it a bit more subtle) He would be a mid-high level Ranger who would bring the local kids out on hikes and used his animal empathy skill to educate the kids. Alignment: Neutral Good.
Edymnion 12-26-06, 01:30 PM	R.I.P Steve Irwin. I was thinking of basing a D&D NPC in my campaign after him, but he wouldnt have the Aussie accent (makes it a bit more subtle) He would be a mid-high level Ranger who would bring the local kids out on hikes and used his animal empathy skill to educate the kids. Alignment: Neutral Good.Would definately have Animal as his favored enemy. :) And before anybody dredges up the 2e "Rangers hate their favored enemy!" stuff as a reason why Steve here wouldn't have it, remember that this does not apply in 3e. 3e has the favored enemy based off of exceptional knowledge and skill when dealing with that particular type, hence the bonuses to things like spot and sense motive. And if anybody knew animals and could read them like a book on sight, it was Steve Irwin.
Chippy_the_Devourer 12-26-06, 05:35 PM	Am I a bad person for cracking open the MM2, seeing the Ixitxachitl, and immediately thinking of a somewhat evil tribute to Steve? :confused: :weep: As in, I would make a ranger, have him fight said monster... :weep:
Edymnion 12-26-06, 06:00 PM	Am I a bad person for cracking open the MM2, seeing the Ixitxachitl, and immediately thinking of a somewhat evil tribute to Steve? :confused: :weep: As in, I would make a ranger, have him fight said monster... :weep:I'd say poor taste, at most.
High Octane 12-26-06, 06:59 PM	Am I a bad person for cracking open the MM2, seeing the Ixitxachitl, and immediately thinking of a somewhat evil tribute to Steve? :confused: :weep: As in, I would make a ranger, have him fight said monster... :weep: :nonono:
Galeigh 12-27-06, 12:37 AM	Cool tribute, may he rest in peace.
KurenaiYami 12-27-06, 04:01 AM	Am I a bad person for cracking open the MM2, seeing the Ixitxachitl, and immediately thinking of a somewhat evil tribute to Steve? :confused: :weep: As in, I would make a ranger, have him fight said monster... :weep: Yes, you are a horrible, horrible person for that. Bad Chippy, bad!
High Octane 12-27-06, 10:10 AM	3e has the favored enemy based off of exceptional knowledge and skill when dealing with that particular type, hence the bonuses to things like spot and sense motive. Not to mention GRAPPLE. :)
kelvinaw273 12-27-06, 03:30 PM	I am now caught up with the idea of Steve Irwin prowling through a dungeon and pouncing on unsuspecting inhabitants, imobilizing them and displaying them for the camera: Stevce: "Crikey! look at this beauty, a real alpha male ogre if ever I saw one!" Ogre: "Get off me!" Steve: "And it looks like he isn't too happy to have us around here -" Ogre: "I'll rip your bloody head off and c**p down the hole when you let me go!" Steve: "Ogres are known for being very aggressive, so don't try this at home!" RIP Steve .... hope you last word was "Crikey!"