Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Battlesmith 04-01-07, 07:19 PM	EDIT------ Now offically for use as Korchek's Laugh Emporium. May need to be moved to Eberron General, but yes. I say it's worth keeping around one way or the other.
Battlesmith 04-01-07, 10:36 PM	Ok. A few looks, but no response as of yet. I'll add my reasoning for wanting to add the ability. Vol, as the secret focus of a religion (secret to most of her own followers, as well as non-EC population) is seeking to raise to a level of power that at least rivals any one member of the Dark Six. Now, due to the dangers of revealing herself (Not that there are many individuals that could beat her), such as the Dragons, the unity of the nations coming together against a common threat, or even just the church of the Silver Flame, she has to work behind the scenes towards her goal. This means she needs unconventional methods to gain what she wants, at least as far as 'conventional' paths to deityhood go. The idea behind the NPC (or group, depending. I may even work them like the Forsaken from The Wheel of Time), is that they collect the immortal souls of the general populace, and directly fuse them to Vol. Entire villages of withered corpses of all ages turn up. Trade caravans disappear. Perhaps even embassies on the move, thereby sparking more paranoia among the nations. But this is, as far as I'm concerned, the best way I can find to involve the players with Vol on a note that may well stretch a full campaign. That, and how cool would it be (for me the DM, anyway) to see the souls of people you may have grown up with, twisted and moaning as they wrap themselves caressingly around the body of your maniacal foe? -Battlesmith
DarkWarriorKarg 04-02-07, 12:43 AM	A villain with unlimited "Trap the Soul" that automatically triggers on anyone with less than 10 hp? Do you have any idea how dangerous this guy is to his own side? The majority of the Emerald Claw goons (war 1-2) would die just passing by him in a hallway. Such an ability can also trigger a TPK, if the party's HP ends up going too low.
ahiman 04-02-07, 03:58 AM	I have to agree with the post above. If he gets one good turn of damage then its TPK time. At least +3 to CR, maybe +4. In any event I have to say that you should try and make this fight as interesting as posable. Get him in the middle of a temple or what not and when he dies have him implode and then have a big "the boss died and the building is going down." Hope that helps.
Gurv 04-02-07, 06:14 AM	My suggestion, to solve both of the problems, is to make it something that the NPC can do for only a limited amount of time. Thus, it becomes a dreaded power of a great minion of Vol. Either that, or this NPC should be something of a loner, perhaps accompanied by undead minions (I don't recall the details of the Death Giant entry, but it seems that undead could be immune to the aura). It might make for an interesting campaign, where the PCs follow the rumors and evidence left behind in the wake of this "Angel of Death".
Battlesmith 04-02-07, 04:15 PM	The general idea was that as a master of shrouds, there were to be only undead minions as opposed to any living EC followers. The CR+4 sounds about right, I think, though I'm lowering the actual HP threshhold for the ability (probably to the -10 to zero range). Granted, this is a death effect, which I took into account because of the fact that the party has two clerics of their own. The fort save is also definitely going to be lower, thanks to the villain not actually having the ability focus feat, or the insane charisma of the Death Giant. Considering the high fortitude save for the dwarven fighter and dwarven cleric, along with chances to prepare, and more than likely everyone buffed with guards against death effects, AND the lowered save required combined with the lower HP total needed for the ability to be triggered, I'm not worried about the party actually suffering TPK. I also think I like the idea of the ability being used only a certain number of times per day. How does 2/day sound, combined with all of the above, for a total of +2 CR? -Battlesmith
korcheck 04-03-07, 04:28 PM	my suggestion to you is give the NPC a few levels of the ex-wife PrC that way it/they get the soul sucking feat automattically with no worries about funding either. I believe the class gives the growing horde ability at each lvl as well. plus if you take an additional feat before going into the class it/they also recieve minions in the form of lawyers, ex-mother-in-laws, and the rotating Pc class boyfriend of the week. just a thought.:D :D :D
Zombomaniac 04-03-07, 04:47 PM	my suggestion to you is give the NPC a few levels of the ex-wife PrC that way it/they get the soul sucking feat automattically with no worries about funding either. I believe the class gives the growing horde ability at each lvl as well. plus if you take an additional feat before going into the class it/they also recieve minions in the form of lawyers, ex-mother-in-laws, and the rotating Pc class boyfriend of the week. just a thought.:D :D :D :eek: Bad korcheck! Bad! :hides:
korcheck 04-04-07, 05:20 PM	:eek: Bad korcheck! Bad! :hides: AHH shucks I'm sorry Z.:bigeyes: I couldn't help myself this thread was W I D E open for that besides I could write up the PrC for you but the whole last level of the class thing is really dependent on that last minion PC.:rimshot:
korcheck 04-06-07, 01:49 PM	Hmm? I guess this joke fell flat I thought for sure I would've gotten more comments lol. Oh win some lose some I guess.
korcheck 04-09-07, 05:42 PM	Since this post seems to still be open I think I shall take advantage of it and tell a joke. A house Lyrander (sp?) captain walks into a bar with a parrots' head sticking out of his pants. The halfing behind the bar says, "What's that parrot doing in your pants?" So the captain responds, "YAARR, He's drivin' me nuts!" :D
korcheck 04-10-07, 10:44 AM	Ok ladies and gents here my next joke for today. This is sure to **** off Goblin_pride but I challenge him or anyone to come up with a better eberron related joke. A goblin walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The halfling behind the bar says, "well where'd you get that?" and the Parrot responds, "well it started out as a boil on my butt."
korcheck 04-11-07, 09:55 AM	During camouflage training in the Eldeen Reaches, an Aundairan soldier disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the Aundaran answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' ---that did it!"
korcheck 04-11-07, 05:32 PM	You know I have to say it feels kinda funny having a thread to myself like the time I climbed the rope in gym class.
korcheck 04-12-07, 12:53 PM	All right for my modest following, here is my newest joke it's an oldie but goody circa 960. Three men were on an air ship traveling from Karrnath to Breland, a dwarf, an elven Aundairan, and a human Brelander. The elf takes a long swig from a bottle of wine and then tosses it over board. The other to look shocked until he explains, “In Aundair we make the finest wines known to the world, and we have plenty more where that came from.” The dwarf not to be out done gulps a bit of his stout and follows suit by throwing the rest overboard. He looks at the other two and says “The holds makes the best beer in the world and we too have plenty where that came from.” After looking around for a few moments the Brelander grabs a passing goblin passenger and throws him over board. When the elf and dwarf stare at him aghast he says, “We have too many of those where I come from.”
korcheck 04-12-07, 06:29 PM	after rereading the posting rules I was wondering if any of the mods or other posters out there felt that I might be breaking any of the rules with my posts here if so let me know.
korcheck 04-13-07, 11:05 AM	If a man and a woman from the eldeen reaches get a divorce are they still brother and sister?
korcheck 04-15-07, 06:59 PM	An adventurer rides into town and stops at a golden dragon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped a wand into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and shot a magic missile into the ceiling. "Which one of you stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do the same thing I dun in Breland! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Breland!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The halfling waiter wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say stranger, before you go... what happened in Breland?" The adventurer turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
korcheck 04-16-07, 05:30 PM	An evil adventurer in the deepest xendrick jungles suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of drow. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh flame, I'm screwed!!!!!." There is a ray of silvery light from the heavens and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the leader standing in front of you." So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the drow. As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 drow with a look of shock on their faces, the flames voice booms out again: "Okay ..... NOW you're screwed."
korcheck 04-17-07, 10:11 AM	A dwarf, a human and a goblin were captured by the drow on a prospecting trip in Xendrick. They were tied up against their respective poles for a day when the leader walked up to the human, pinched the skin of his upper arm and said, "Hmmm, good skin, nice and thick. You’ll make a good canoe. Do you have a last request?" "That case of gin I had when your boys caught me. I'd like that", says the human. He's provided with his gin and is taken off to a tent for his final night. The human drinks two bottles of gin. In the morning the drow dispatch him, skin him and make him into a canoe. The canoe lasts a couple of days when it tears on a rock. The next day the leader walks up to the dwarf, pinches the skin at the top of his arm and says, "Hmmm, very good skin, very, very thick. You’ll make a very good canoe. Do you have a last request? "Ah'll huv ma whiskey back", says the dwarf. He's provided with his whisky and taken off to a tent for his final night. The dwarf drinks three bottles of whiskey. He's already dead when the drow come to collect him the next morning. They skin him and make him into a canoe. The canoe lasts a week before it tears on a rock. Next day the drow leader walks up to the goblin, pinches the skin at the top of his arm and says, "Hmmm, very, very good skin, very, very, very, very thick. You’ll make a very, very, very good canoe. Do you have a last request? "I'd like a fork.", says the goblin. The leader gives him a funny look but gives him the fork. The goblin takes the fork, stabs himself repeatedly shouting, "Yer not makin' any bloody canoe outta me!"
korcheck 04-18-07, 10:19 AM	An Aundairian, a Karrnathi and a beautiful woman were sitting together in a carriage of a lightning rail car going through Breland. Suddenly the lightning rail went through a tunnel and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the lightning rail came out of the tunnel, the beautiful woman and the Aundairian were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Karrnathi had his hand against his face as if he’d been slapped. The Karrnathi was thinking, the aundair fella must have kissed the woman and she missed him and slapped me instead. The beautiful woman was thinking, the Karrnathi fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Aundairian and got slapped for it." The Aundairian was thinking, this is great! The next time the rail goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Karrnathi idiot again."
korcheck 04-19-07, 10:09 AM	Three adventurers are traveling in Xendrick, a dwarven artificer, a Thranish paladin, and a goblin rogue when they are captured by drow. The head of the tribe says to the artificer, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The dwarf responds, "I will take oil!" They put oil on his back, and a drow whips him ten times. When he is finished, the dwarf has huge welts on his back, and can hardly move. The drow haul the dwarf away, and say to the paladin, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Thranish paladin, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "And what will you take on your back?" the drow ask the goblin. He responds, "I'll take the paladin."
korcheck 04-19-07, 11:53 PM	this one is a litle early but i won't be able to do it tomorrow so here it is... BTW it's a bit long but I think well worth it CHILI JUDGING CONTEST This is a little known fact but the dwarves of the Mror Holds hold a chili cooking contest each year The notes are from an inexperienced Chilli taster named Moras, who was visiting from House Ghallanda. Here are the scorecards from the event: Chili 1 - Monster Chili Judge 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild. Judge 3 -- (Moras) Holy flame, what the heck is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from a stone wall. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These dwarves are crazy. Chili 2 - Arthur's Afterburner Chili Judge 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. Chili 3 - Burn Down the Barn Chili Judge 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans. Judge 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge 3 -- Call the gnomes. I've located an escaped fire elemetal. My nose feels like I have been snorting lava. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting :censored: faced from all of the beer. Chili 4 - Black Magic Judge 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Jakela, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. women is starting to look HOT...just like this acid bath I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? Chili 5 - Legal Lip Remover Judge 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed Jorasko healers. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Jakela saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those bearded gnomes. Chili 6 - Very Vegetarian Variety Judge 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I :censored: myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Jakela. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. Chili 7 - Screaming Sensation Chili Judge 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge 3 -- You could put a fireball in my mouth, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like :censored: to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach! Chili 8 - Toe-Nail Curling Chili Judge 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili!
korcheck 04-23-07, 10:56 AM	A guy from the Eldeen Reaches is walking along the beach in Aundair. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to an aundairan guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women. "Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're aundairan. You know these women. What do they want?" "Maybe I can help a little bit," says the aundairan. "What you do is you go to the store. You buy a little bikini swim suit. You walk up and down the beach and you’ll meet girls very quickly this way." "Wow! Thanks!" says the reacher, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So he goes back to the aundairan. "I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl." "Okay," says the aundairan, "I’ll tell you what you do, go to the store, buy a potato and put it in your swim suit then walk up and down the beach. You will meet girls very, very quickly this way." "Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the aundairan. "Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach-- and still nothing! What more can I do?" "Well," says the aundairan, "maybe I can help you a little bit. Why don't you try moving the potato to the FRONT of the swim suit?"
korcheck 04-24-07, 04:55 PM	short and sweet this time. I should also mention that I am running out of jokes so posts from others who like this thread would be great.... how do you get a one armed bugbear out of a tree? answer: wave to it.