Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Thrivol 06-28-07, 07:31 PM	Taken off the Internet memes in Eberron, I give you the latest fad in Breland! Facts about King Boranel! Not exaggerated in the slightest! 1. King Boranel fought pun-pun. And won. 2. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, King Boranel would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. 3. King Boranel once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
Adamaro23 06-28-07, 10:12 PM	Ok, so King Boranel has become Eberron's version of Chuck Norris? 4. He was once a lich, vampire, wereboar, half dragon. But he cured it in a matter of hours. 5. His drool melts Adamantine.
rampant 06-28-07, 10:15 PM	6. Unbeknownst to the public King Borenal is the father of Corneria's king steve.
Kaizer_Ryu 06-28-07, 10:37 PM	7. When King Boranel gets bored, he maquerades as the Elite Dark Lantern Agent BondJamesBond, battling the forces that threaten his domain. Of course, in order to maintain his secret, he has to tone it down a bit. 8. King Boranel almost won a drinking game against the infamous Captain Jarlot
Millenia 06-28-07, 10:53 PM	9. If you light King Boranel's burps on fire, the flames turn silver and burn fiends.
rampant 06-28-07, 11:04 PM	10. However if you light his farts on fire, it takes down a city block. 11. Which is vastly preferrable to the gas lingering.
Adamaro23 06-29-07, 07:34 AM	12. Boranel doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Kaizer_Ryu 06-29-07, 10:38 AM	13. Hammerguns don't kill people. KING BORANEL kills people. 14. King Boranel doesn't sleep. He waits. 15. King Galifar I once claimed he slept with about 20,000 women over the course of his lifetime. King Boranel calls this a Slow Tuesday 16. King Boranel is the only being that can "send" a Roundhouse Kick
Belkar 06-29-07, 11:25 AM	17. King Boranel is so strong, he and the Lord of Blades have arm-wrestling matches to determine when the fanatical Warforged can invade Breland. Day 625… Breland still invasion free. 18. King Boranel lost his virginity in Droaam. In a vengeful response to that drunken night of terror, the Daughters of Sora Kell manage to band together a nation. 19. The Lhesh Haruuk used to go drinking with King Boranel, but got tired of getting the crap beat out of him. 20. King Boranel used to date Erandis D’Vol in high school. After he broke up with her, she was so distraught, she gave herself to lichdom. 21. Xoriat remains forever distant from the material plane… not because of some stupid magic, but because the Daelkyr know that King Boranel is watching! 22. The elves of Aerenal refuse to speak of King Boranel out of shame, since it was this human’s beer breath that brought the Undying Court back from the dead. 23. King Boranel once killed a Wyvern by shooting a spitball at it. 24. The only reason the Diet of Cardinals in Thrane allows an 11-year-old girl to be the Keeper of the Flame, is that Boranel used to give her piggy-back rides when she was six. 25. King Boranel is currently possessed by no less than 16 Rakshasa Rajas, which he constantly keeps at bay. When asked why, he simply says “he likes the challenge.” 26. Boranel knows nothing of the Quori, as all of them are way too afraid to invade his dreams. 27. King Boranel eats wood chips and craps golden flowers. This is where dreamlily comes from. 28. King Boranel knows full well that Kaius III is a vampire, and likes to bring garlic and wooden stakes to diplomatic functions – just to screw with him. 29. A group of Brelish generals went sport hunting for a rogue Bullette in the King’s Forest for two weeks, unaware that the creature was actually King Boranel on vacation. None of them survived.
Warforged Goblin 06-29-07, 11:43 AM	30. The Talentan halflings call him King Borasaurus, which means Fullblade-tooth Titan in halfling. 31. The first example of the "Extreme Explorer" prestige class was a teenage Boranel running around in Xen'drik. Of course, back then it was called "Badass Explorer". 32. The King Boranel miniature has been banned from standard WotC play due to it flinging itself at an opponent's face. 33. When Boranel sleeps with succubi, the reseult is not a half-fiend. The result is a half-Boranel. 34. King Boranel had the dragons erase his name from the Prophecy because "he don't pander to no flyin' lizards". 35. The picture of King Boranel presented in the Five Nations books shows a slight aura of lightning around his hand. There are two possible reasons for this; 1 - Boranel just got done wrestling a lightning bolt, or 2 - Boranel just finished standing in for Zeus. Scholars lean more towards the former, as Boranel would never wear some sissy ass dress like Zeus's. 36. As a teenager, a bored King Boranel took a shovel a created the caverns of Khyber "just for the hell of it". 37. King Boranel's tears can cure the Mourning, but Boranel never cries. 38. King Boranel's animal companion is a kraken that lives on land just so it can hang out with him. His special mount is a herd of bulettes. 39. King Boranel can use 3.0 haste at will as an Extraordinary Ability. 40. King Boranel can look directly at nymphs, and they like it. 41. King Boranel can wield two weapons with no penalty. If he chooses, he can wield three weapons simultaneously with no penalty. If he chooses to wield a fourth weapon, he takes a -2 penalty to each attack for 1 round. 42. King Boranel can bind elementals with his bare hands and no dragonshards. 43. King Boranel has every possible dragonmark, including all 4 tiers of aberrant marks and the Mark of Death. He can use each one once per round as a free action. 44. The reason there's no tarrasque in Eberron? King Boranel.
DragoonDarkfire 06-29-07, 12:53 PM	45. Some sages believe King Boranel is a dragon in disguise. When asked about this he replied "If it makes those dragons feel better about themselves." 46. The Sovereign host are all King Boranel's legal children. The Dark Six are his not-so-legal ones.
Warforged Goblin 06-29-07, 02:39 PM	47. King Boranel has a threat range of 1-20. 48. King Boranel has a +20 racial modifier. To everything. 49. King Boranel has Spell Resistance equal what you rolled +1. 50. King Boranel will take up all of Monster Manual VI and half of Monster Manual VII.
Belkar 06-29-07, 04:50 PM	51. King Boranel tried becoming a bard once, but fascinated all his tutors halfway into his first lesson. 52. King Boranel laughs at those who have Damage “Reduction”. 53. King Boranel once punched a Giant so hard that he started speaking Halfling. 54. King Boranel doesn’t know the horrors that lurk in Khyber. They know of him… and that’s enough. 55. Tira Miron almost walked away from the battle between the Demon and the Couatl, after she saw that King Boranel had showed up too. But she decided to fulfill her destiny after Boranel decided that being bound in the Silver Flame would “be too much of a hassle.” 56. People talk about House tensions and evil deeds, but in truth, the War of the Mark started when King Boranel got peeved that he didn’t have any “glowing tattoos…” 57. The Queen of Cyre once thought to serve King Boranel cold meat and warm beer. Been to Cyre lately? 58. Boranel gets together for beers once a month with Erandis d’Vol, Ranjala the Raja, Oloain the Greatpine, two Great Wyrms, and a Cloud Giant. He drinks them under the table. 59. House Vadalis elders gave up on breeding the perfect mammal after they met King Boranel. 60. The Last War didn’t have to end. King Boranel just got bored with kicking everybody’s butt. 61. House Lyrandar got the idea for airships after watching King Boranel deal with pirates who ticked him off.
DragoonDarkfire 06-29-07, 09:01 PM	62. The gnomes of Zilargo are afraid of King Boranel. 63. Daelkyr do not read King Boranel's mind. If they did then their heads would implode. 64. King Boranel traveled back in time once. He met three dragons. The first one ****** him off so he punched it in the face and spun him around into a ring. He then took the second dragon and wrapped it around the third dragon and then started dribbling them. This is how the world was created.
KidChainsaw 06-30-07, 12:54 PM	65.-The Tarrasque does exist in Eberron. Boranel keeps him around to serve tea and biscuits, and calls him Tiny. 66.-The reason why drow are hiding out in the jungles of Xendrik: Boranel thinks they are cheesy and is threatening to do something about it.
Bluebrush 06-30-07, 12:57 PM	67. Arcanix sages speculate that the giants of Xen'drik once posessed the only 13th level spell in existance: Power Word: Boranel. Now only ruin and confusion remains. Conicidence? 68. Every time Fernia becomes coterminous, Boranel likes to have a barbeque with infernal beef burgers. 69. The Traveller is always on the move because he knows King Boranel will blow his house down the next time he stops. 70. King Boranel flosses with the spiked chains of fallen munchkin enemies. 71. The modrons of Mechanus finished calculating Pi aeons ago. They're really been busy trying to calculate Boranel's AC from the safe remove of another set of dimensions. 72. The Darkness that Dreams is actually a sock puppet the king made when he was 4. 73. Ever wonder why dwarves are so short? They're hoping King Boranel won't notice them. 74. The Comte de Saint-Germaine cut a deal with King Boranel several millenia ago. As a result, humans rose to become the dominant species of Earth instead of kender. 75. Who do you think knocked Shargon's teeth out? 76. The reason that there are now only twelve true dragonmarks, moons and planes when once there were thirteen is that prime numbers 'kind of annoy' King Boranel. 77. King Boranel uses a sphere of annihilation to clean his nails. 78. Fear itself fears King Boranel.
gensuke626 06-30-07, 05:11 PM	79. The Lord of Blades is described as a Hulking spiked Behemoth that wields a two-bladed sword. In truth this fanatical figures does not exist, the Warforged merely rallied around a painting of King Bornel's First Halloween Costume. 80. There is No such thing as a warforged. They are all Merely flawed clones of King Boranel. 81. King Bornel once visited a planet called Oerth, and a city named Greyhawk. He deemed it boring and promptly sundered the world...Thus the reason WOTC calls it "Expedition to the Ruins of Greyhawk" 82. King Boranel once called Lady Vol an "Epic Mount". She still sends him flowers and candy. 83. Those who say "Hell Hath no Fury like a woman scorned" never had to tell King Boranel that he's out of coffee. 84. A mind flayer once tried to eat King Boranel's brain. It was never seen again.
ChronosCrow 07-01-07, 02:03 AM	85. When the 3 Dragons found the Prophecy it was already named King Boranel. 86. Boranel takes a leisurely stroll, he merely happens to conquer counties as it goes. 87. King Boranel grew tired of speaking with Flamewind because he'd, "...heard all those riddles before." 88. (Speaking to Boranel): "What killed the giants?" Boranel: "MeEeeEeE!"
ORC_Paradox 07-01-07, 09:15 AM	89. King Boranel is Luke's father.
DragoonDarkfire 07-01-07, 09:28 AM	90. The Valnear path to "final glory" is decided if he can fight and defeat a dragon, man to man, with nothing more then a dagger. King Boranel calls this "a nice warm up."
Symar 07-01-07, 01:18 PM	91. Dragonmarks aren't really a manifestation of the draconic prophecy, but are a side-effect of standing too close to King Boranel. 92. When the Quori first tried to invade, they encountered King Boranel. Now they limit themselves to conquering Sarlona out of fear.
gensuke626 07-01-07, 10:09 PM	93. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, King Boranel instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. 94. King Boranel lost his virginity before his dad did. 95. It was once believed that King Boranel actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by King Boranel himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart. 96. King Boranel drinks Alchemist's Fire to quell his Heartburn. 97. If the Lord of Blades and Lady Vol had a fight to the death, you know who would win? King Boranel. 98. Once, while sparring with the Lord of Blades, King Boranel accidentally lost his left testicle. You may know it by it's techincal name; Shavarath, the Battleground. 99. Contrary to popular belief, there are three types of Magic; Arcane, Divine, and King Boranel 100. King Boranel once went looking for a bar, but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. King Boranel yelled over the roar of the flames, "Always leave things the way you found em!"
Belkar 07-02-07, 01:34 PM	101. King Boranel once blew his nose so loud that the armies of Darguun mobilized and massed at the Brelish border. Knowledgeable in these things, the Lhesh Haruuk told his warlords to stand down, and sent a gift box of Kleenex to the Brelish King. 102. King Boranel’s icy stare created the Frostfell. 103. Boranel likes to base-jump in Sharn for the heck of it. 104. King Boranel won the Race of Eight Winds without a mount. While hopping on one leg. Blindfolded. 105. When Sharn was infested with Mind Flayers from the depths of Khyber, King Boranel licked his lips, grabbed his filet knife, and “cleaned house.” The palace in Wroat served calamari for over a month. 106. Lycanthropes aren’t “diseased” or “cursed.” They’re just folks who’ve shared a beer with King Boranel. 107. When King Boranel was a child, he made pocket money by selling lemonade crushed with his bare hands. He was forced to stop after most of his customers died from explosive satisfaction. 108. King Boranel failed to market a breakfast cereal of his own design: Dragonshard O’s. The reason? It was just too awesome for House Tharashk prospectors to supply enough dragonshards to produce… 109. When King Boranel was a boy scout, he used to go camping in the Demon Wastes. Before he came along, they used to be called “New Jersey.” 110. King Boranel likes to get full-body-massages from succubii and erinyes while harpies sing lullabies in the background. His only regret about it all is that he can only fit about one session a day into his schedule.
Warforged Goblin 07-02-07, 01:40 PM	111. King Boranel can eat his own face. 112. King Boranel can wield Spellfire, a feat Boranel says he learned to "get the chicks". 113. DDO: Stormreach chats are filled with those who extoll King Boranel's greatness. The Barrens chat of WoW is slowly becoming infected also. 114. King Boranel can beat up your DMPC.
Millenia 07-02-07, 04:07 PM	#115: King Boranel came to Keith Baker in a dream and commanded him to make a monument to him. And thus Eberron was born.
Belkar 07-02-07, 05:31 PM	116. As a child, King Boranel played “Dhakaani and Daelkyr” with live hobgoblins and creatures from Xoriat. 117. Within the Aurum, there is the copper concord, the silver concord, the gold concord, the platinum, the obsidian… and the Boranel. 118. When the arch-mages of Arcanix developed a scale to measure magical destruction on a planar level, they used the unit of “Boranels” – but later scrapped it… deeming the levels of destruction not sufficient for such a moniker. 119. King Boranel used to go fishing in Shargon’s Teeth… using live sahuagin as bait… 120. The Drow in Xen’Drik used to worship spiders… but Boranel thought that was cheesy. And the King doesn't like cheese…
DragoonDarkfire 07-04-07, 11:19 PM	121. The writers of Five Nations described Boranel as being level 8. This was due to the fact that the PC's were not suppose to have a safety net and that one of the tones of Eberron is that there are no powerful NPC's that will fight all the evil at once. The writers of the article have since disappeared and no one dare question where they went.
TheKeyofE 07-05-07, 03:33 AM	122. Boranel can run more than 100 miles per hour. The exact speed is unverified because when he hit 88 miles per hour, he went back in time. (see #64)
Esuh 07-05-07, 04:54 AM	121. The writers of Five Nations described Boranel as being level 8. This was due to the fact that the PC's were not suppose to have a safety net and that one of the tones of Eberron is that there are no powerful NPC's that will fight all the evil at once. The writers of the article have since disappeared and no one dare question where they went. I have heard a different version: 121 b: Five Nations described Boranel as being level 8. This is merely a printing error. The level number ended up rotated 90 degrees. Alternately: 121 c: Five Nations described Boranel as being level 8. This is due to the number being so high it caused a buffer overflow, the number going around and starting at zero again. How big the buffer was, nobody knows, due to King Boranel finding out.
Darakhoranon 07-05-07, 07:00 AM	123. King Boranel can scrap-build a complete creation forge with just a chewing gum, a rusty nail and 3 of his hairs. What do you think from whom that other guy learned doing this? 124. The reason why certain epic archmages, Chosen and the like don´t infest Eberron? King. Boranel. 125. Contrary to #57, the Day of Mourning didn´t happen because of english... er... CYRAN cooking but because King Boranel met a twin-scimitar-wielding drow while visiting Cyre - whom he deemed cheesy...
gensuke626 07-05-07, 07:15 AM	127. King Bornel is so mighty, that he struck the 126th fact about him from the Annuls of History, just because he could. 128. King Boranel is the owner of the sole Spelljamming Helm in all of Eberron. Consequently, he has been known by many names including: King Arthur, Aragorn, Conan, and Jesus Christ. 129. Merrix D'Cannith was once asked what would happen if someone tried to clone King Boranel. He responded "Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. In the house we call this phenomenon Total Boranic Reversal, and is the result of too many Borameters of Awesomeness co-existing in the same realm of reality." 130. It is written that the day King Boranel dies and his soul arrives in Dolurrh, that the plane shall henceforth be known as Paradisio and will contain, amongst other things; A Garden of Earthly Delights, A system of tubes to contain the internet, and an exact copy of Tokyo so that the King may pretend to be Godzilla on Thursdays.
Thrivol 07-05-07, 12:21 PM	131. King Boranel looked at Ted the flayer's personal photos... and retained his sanity.
Esgay 07-05-07, 01:39 PM	132. when he was young king Boranel went for a stroll down the path of light, he made the age turn so much that dal quor flew off its planar axis. 133. when he was bored he once doodled the whole of the prophecy in the margin of a notebook. 134. the floating buttresses are just for show, the towers of sharn stay up because they're scared of what Boranel will do to them if they fall. 135. Boranel has taken all of the shifter racial feats, no-one knows what will happen if the shifts but there was a reason for the lycanthropic purge. 136. Boranel has taken all of the warforged racial feats too, although he gains no benefit from them due to his own abilities being better and overlapping. 137.King Boranel stole an artificers craft reserve once, he tried to fill it with XP by rertaining the essence of Cyre. He still doesn't have enough XP in it to create an effigy of himself.
SilvercatMoonpaw 07-05-07, 04:07 PM	138. King Boranal took one look at Elminster's build and said "Not goin' in for power, are yah?" 139. Incarnum is tapping a sliver of the residue of people who've been within 1 universe of King Boranal. 140. Vestiges are people King Boranal told to "Get lost". 141. Shadow magic is so wimpy because there has to be an opposite to King Boranal. 142. Truespeech is really made up of variations on King Boranal. 143. The Sublime Way was created by people trying to imitate King Boranal walking. 144. Nothing is overpowered on Eberron because it has to compare itself to King Boranal.
bad_phil 07-05-07, 09:03 PM	145. When King Boranel sneezed, it created the Mounland....He's did'nt tell... 146. When King Boranel attach his laces, poeple thinks he bows to some coming god... 147. King Boranel takes his vacations in Xen'drik.....and he's welcome by everybody.....really...everybody. 148. When Sarlonan talk of King Boranel, it is barely a myth. 149. King Boranel don't climb montains, he bring them down. 150. If King Boranel finds a +5 longsword of killing everything except Boranel, he gives it to someone else saying it's for beginners. 151. King Boranel probably started the Last war because life was boring. 152. When the dragons of Argoneesen are trying to decypher the prophecy, they ask Boranel for his advice. Sometimes he just don't feel like it, then the dragons must wait... 153. The dalkyr did'nt got sealed by the gatekeepers, They sealed themselves from Boranel.
DragoonDarkfire 07-05-07, 09:33 PM	154. King Boranels power level is over 10,000. 155. Xen'drik is called the shattered land because King Boranel decided to cast Shatter on a continent just to see what happened.
Kaizer_Ryu 07-05-07, 11:48 PM	156: King Boranel uses the Silver Flame to bleach his teeth, since he can't find anything with a bit more "kick" to it. 157: The Demon in the Flame isn't about to try and get out. It knows King Boranel is watching. 158: King Boranel uses the lightning rail only when he "feels like taking the slow route". 159: Upon seeing King Boranel, the Children of Winter discovered that their quest was futile, since nothing can harm what King Boranel likes. They keep up the ruse, though, since they don't really have anything better to do 160: King Jarot's nightmares were not of some imagined enemy, an invading force, or even the manipulations of the Quori. They were of King Boranel
inspired 07-06-07, 12:19 AM	161: King Boranel once held his opponent's wife's hand... in a jar of acid... at a party.
Millenia 07-06-07, 03:49 AM	#162: Despite what people may believe, King Boranel has in fact visited the "real world", under the guises of "Dad" (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/195918) and "DJ Breadwinner" (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/386773). Of course, in order to not draw undue attention to his greatness, he changed his physical form. #163: Cyberpunk scholars believe that Mecha-Death (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/347501) is actually King Boranel in a Warforged vigilante-inspired phase. Of course, he holds back enough so that he doesn't kill everyone in a 50 mile radius instantly.
Macrovore 07-06-07, 11:53 AM	King Boranel's Stats HD: more than you just dealt Init: goes before you Speed: everywhere AC: you miss Attack roll: he hits you Damage: you die Special Attacks: All of them Special Qualities: most of them, except weaknesses Saves: he succeeds Abilities: trust me, you don't wanna know. like, over 100 or something. Skills: too damned many Feats: all of them, even vile feats (he's not evil, just so badass that the archdevils gave him the feats to avoid permanent and instantaneous destruction) Environment: wherever the *bleep* he wants Organization: King Boranel, or King Boranel and several hundred hot tavern wenches. Challenge rating: I don't think that number even fits on the post. Treasure: Eberron, Toril. Alignment: Chaotic Badass Advancement: You mean he can get better? *groans and rolls up new char. sheet* LA: foolish mortal! you think you can dream of being King Boranel?
LazyNinja 07-06-07, 02:05 PM	165. Deities in Eberron have damage reduction 45/Boranel.
DragoonDarkfire 07-06-07, 02:38 PM	166. Edy was going to put Boranel on his black list because he felt that he was too powerful an NPC. He decided against it when he received his mothers severed arm in the mail.
SilvercatMoonpaw 07-06-07, 04:32 PM	Organization: …or King Boranel and several hundred hot tavern wenches. On a boring day.
Kaizer_Ryu 07-06-07, 09:36 PM	King Boranel's Stats ... :heehee: :rofl: 167: Contrary to official reports, Rich Burlew actually won the contest for the next D&D setting. Just before the announcement, however, King Boranel manifested on earth as his alter-ego, Chuck Norris. Rich bowed out for obvious reasons 168: King Boranel eats rocks and craps Lightning Bolts 169: King Boranel once watched an action movie marathon of the Die Hard, Terminator, Rambo, Lethal Weapon, Steven Segal, Bruce Lee, Jean Claude Van Damme, and James Bond movies to check on how well his wannabe's portrayed him. He felt them a bit weak, but forgave them, saying "there's only so much non-me's can do"
Symar 07-06-07, 10:00 PM	170: King Boranel tried to play D&D once, but when he saw that the dice didn't go high enough to reflect his real abilities, he promptly invented a d-infinity and proceded to win the game. The fact he was playing a level 1 crippled kobold commoner "for a change of pace" is of no concern.
gensuke626 07-08-07, 06:35 PM	171. King Boranel's Charisma is so high that he turns straight men gay and gay women bi. He could turn them straight but figures "Why bother, when it's more fun this way?" 172. King Boranel jury-rigged his own Portable hole and Bag of hodling once. Out of curiosity he put the bag into the hole, and devastated an entire city. We know this city as Hiroshima. 173. Though most folk are unaware of it, King Boranel has more skill in disguise than the Traveler. He mostly uses his powers for good, but occasionally he gets bored and wanders off to a far away land, where he is known as "The Governator."
Androlphas 07-08-07, 06:44 PM	174. While on a stroll through the Eldeen Reaches, King Boranel heeded the call of nature and cleaned himself off with a pine cone. Thus Oalian the greatpine, was born. 175. Dragonshards are made when King Boranel squeezes adamantine ore for stress relief. 176. King Boranel told some bandits to "reach for the sky". Sharn was built. 177. The Sarlonans still exist because of the egg-shaped monoliths they build to satisfy King Boranel's royal hunger. 178. King Boranel loved to doodle as a child. That's why we have dragonmarks now. 179. The Aurum is funded by the spare change under King Boranel's sofa.
SirPudding 07-10-07, 12:29 AM	180. According to the last census, roughly 5% of Breland citizens are Boranel's illegitimate children. 181. He employs a body double named Sean Ir'Connery 182. His tears can cure...(sigh) nevermind 183. He is the beloved (and probably last) king of Breland, has his own personal jungle to hunt in and has two pet tigers. Nuff Said
Warforged Goblin 07-10-07, 10:15 AM	183. He is the beloved (and probably last) king of Breland, has his own personal jungle to hunt in and has two pet tigers. Nuff Said Quoted For Truth! 184. The most lethal Eberron, nay, most lethal Dungeons and Dragons module ever: The Temple of Elemental Boranel. 185. King Boranel can get though all of "The World's Largest Dungeon" in only 3 levels, 4 if he decides to roleplay.
Wymarc 07-10-07, 02:02 PM	180. According to the last census, roughly 5% of Breland citizens are Boranel's illegitimate children. This proves the incompetency of the Brelish census. It is obviously much, much higher than that.
Symar 07-10-07, 02:21 PM	This proves the incompetency of the Brelish census. It is obviously much, much higher than that. Ah, but if they told the truth, then they'd have to face the wrath of King Boranel!
turalisj 07-11-07, 07:27 AM	186. There is no Eberron, Syberis, or Khyber. Only Chuck Norris, Boranel, and Dirty Harry. :D
Darakhoranon 07-11-07, 07:50 AM	167: Contrary to official reports, Rich Burlew actually won the contest for the next D&D setting. Just before the announcement, however, King Boranel manifested on earth as his alter-ego, Chuck Norris. Rich bowed out for obvious reasons. NOW I´d be interested in the Infernal Bovine´s comment on this... He´ll probably send over Chucky... er... Boranel to "convince" you of your error. As if a setting that featuered BORANEL, KING BORANEL could lose any contest...
Ront Iron-Roar 07-12-07, 03:58 AM	187. King Boranel and Geth walk into a bar.....it explodes. 188. King Boranel is so awesome that 90% percent of his bastard children were created with him standing in the room next to the one said child's mother was standing in. 189. King Boranel taught the Hobgoblins and Drow how to use chains with this guide. http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y158/Biscut/2chains.jpg
Zephyrus/Sonet 07-12-07, 10:56 PM	190: King Boranel once dug a trench so wide not even he could jump across it. Then he jumped over it anyway. Cause he's good like that. 191: King Boranel broke up The Beatles.
Symar 07-13-07, 06:23 PM	192 King Boranel once travelled back in time and became his own father. 193 Under accusations of "You don't know what it's like to be a woman", which he obviously couldn't allow, King Boranel temporarily became female, travelled back in time, and became his own mother. 194 Due to the awesomeness of King Boranel mating with the awesomeness of King Boranel, King Boranel the offspring gained double awesomeness. This threw itself into an infinity loop, resulting in King Boranel being the most awesome being ever.
Changeling_Kyr 07-14-07, 11:45 PM	195. King Boranel counted to infinity...twice. 196. King Boranel invented longswords, ale, sex, and Dragon chess-- in that order. 197. King Boranel created a language that incorporates swordplay and fistfighting. So next time Boranel beats you bloody, don’t be offended -- he may be just trying to tell you he likes your armor. 198. King Boranel owns a lantern archon as a pet and keeps it by his bed when he sleeps as a nightlight. Not because King Boranel is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of King Boranel. 199. Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge King Boranel with "obstruction of justice." This is because not even King Boranel can be in two places at the same time. (He is capable of it, but realizes that the universe would implode from the sheer awesomeness.) 200. When King Boranel was born, he immediately made love to the first midwife he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
yossarius 07-15-07, 12:42 PM	201) King Boranel briefly considered taking a Vow of Poverty, but decided that it wasn't worth crashing Khorvaire's entire economy just to gain abilities less than the ones he already had. 202) Chaosium, Inc had to write King Boranel out of their game when they realized that he ain't afraid of nuthin'. 203) Every theory you can devise involving King Boranel and the cause of the Mourning are simultaneously true. 204) King Boranel isn't actually a member of the Wynarn family. But when he moved to Wroat, the legitimate king simply accepted the reality of the situation, and abdicated. 205) The ancient Norse translation of "King Boranel" is "Ragnarok". 206) King Boranel's beard is made of adamantite shaving and liquid magma. 207) An alternate material component in casting Keen Strike is one of King Boranel's toe-nail clippings. 208) The drunken master prestige class is made up of King Boranel's fan club. 209) By the time King Boranel was 3 days old, he already had 18 children. 210) Forgotten Realm's Time of Troubles was caused whe King Boranel showed up and kicked all the gods out of the outer planes. He needed a bigger apartment. 211) Once, King Boranel said, "I predict an *ss-whipping." Eberron, Khyber, and Syberis read WAY too much into that.
Thrivol 07-16-07, 11:28 PM	212) King Boranel invented the greatest card game ever: Three Dragon Ante. 213) King Boranel impregnated every woman in Sarlona, even the ones that are infertile. 214) (For WoW players) King Boranel's WoW character is Saurfang.
Kamikaze Chicken 07-17-07, 12:16 AM	215. Boranel was hell cows fifth grade gym coach. 216. King Boranel knows what caused the mourning, but he sin't talking for fear of his memories alone being to powerful for him to contain. 217. Vin Deisel is King boranel's "D20 Reality" character 218. Mordain the flesh weaver has nightmares about Boranle, and crafts monstrosities to protect himself. KAMIKAZE! :chicken: out.
dsivis 07-17-07, 05:57 PM	219. Jack Sparrow was one of King Boranel's less cool disguises - he did it to prove that Ryger ir'Wynarn is a wimpy-ass poser. 220. King Boranel decided to dip into "a few levels of wizard". Some people now call him Dumbledore. 221. The 13th Moon is gone because King Boranel hit too strong a line-drive while playing baseball - against himself. 222. King Boranel hung out in the WH40k galaxy for a few days but left because "all those space marines were emo pussies."
DragoonDarkfire 07-17-07, 06:39 PM	220. King Boranel decided to dip into "a few levels of wizard". Some people now call him Dumbledore. 223. King Boranel also dipped into a few levels of Warlock. Some people called him Snape. 224. Yes. King Boranel killed King Boranel, he is THAT awesome.
TheKeyofE 07-17-07, 06:50 PM	225. ...and then cast True Resurrection on himself, because he's that awesome.
Kaizer_Ryu 07-19-07, 02:54 AM	226: King Boranel has taken levels in every class from every Edition and Campaign Setting ever created. Even the Homebrew ones. 227: Sadly, he found them all lacking the "Always Win" ability, so he created his own class: King Boranel 228: King Boranel is also his own race. Every stat is modified by an 8 pushed on it's side 229: Action Points are fueled by a person's intrinsic desire to emulate the awesomness that is King Boranel, however meager their attempt may be 230: King Boranel once looked directly into the face of :88E: . All of Breland got free Calamari for the next year. 231: King Boranel is waiting for 4th Ed to come out, hoping it may have something a bit more challenging to spar with than the entire combined forces of Faerun
Warforged Goblin 07-19-07, 01:07 PM	232. King Boranel uses a mirror of opposition as a shaving mirror. 233. King Boranel was made using the Star Wars Saga Edition ruleset. 234. King Boranel approves of this thread, and has subtly manipulated every poster to add what he deemed fit to add. Those ideas about this thread that you lost? King Boranel didn't like them. 235. King Boranel cannot be stopped. Although ale, wenches, and a good sandwich can slow him down momentarily. 236. *This fact has been deleted due to King Boranel's lack of approval. Suck it Warforged Goblin.* ...wait, what? 237. King Boranel has been seen in the Shadowrun universe and goes by the name "The Dragon Dunkalazuhn" while there. 238. King Boranel doesn't care how it's spelled, that's how HE spells it.
korcheck 07-19-07, 02:11 PM	239. King Boranel is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists. 240. King Boranel can punch through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time. 241. The gnomes created the airship to escape from King Boranel...Not to be outdone, King Boranel created the lightning storms to take them down.
The Zod 07-21-07, 05:04 AM	King Boranel wears a beard because he is intimidated by Bruce Ir'Cambell's chin. Bruce Ir'Campbell once beat himself to death with his own skull and survived. Bruce Campbell can impregnate up to 150 women with one shot of his wand of boomstick. Bruce Ir'Campbell never forgets. In fact, he did say 'Klatu Verata Nectu' wrongly just because he wanted to kick Vol's dead ass - again. Contrary to popular belief , the monoliths in Sarlona are actually built as an exact scale replica of Bruce Ir'Campbell's chin.
DragoonDarkfire 07-21-07, 11:36 AM	King Boranel wears a beard because he is intimidated by Bruce Ir'Cambell's chin. Bruce Ir'Campbell once beat himself to death with his own skull and survived. Bruce Campbell can impregnate up to 150 women with one shot of his wand of boomstick. Bruce Ir'Campbell never forgets. In fact, he did say 'Klatu Verata Nectu' wrongly just because he wanted to kick Vol's dead ass - again. Contrary to popular belief , the monoliths in Sarlona are actually built as an exact scale replica of Bruce Ir'Campbell's chin. 251. King Boranel had The Zod write these just so he wouldn't look like an arrogant prick.
Kaizer_Ryu 07-21-07, 03:04 PM	Bravo on #236, Warforged Goblin :D :rofl: *number correction* 243: King Boranel gave Bruce Ir'Campbell his chin, then proceeded to punch him with the fist beneath his beard. 244: King Boranel's chin survived unscathed 245: The reason the Forgotten Freedom has blown up Sharn so many times is because they refuse to convert to Boranelism 246: King Boranel once entered a drinking contest against the LOBster, lacing the booze/battery acid with Essense of Boranel. When he inevitably won, the shamed Machine Lord began puking his construct guts out. Thus, the Glowing Chasm was born
Millenia 07-24-07, 04:44 AM	#247) King Boranel caused the Mourning when he got tired of figuring out how to correctly pronounce Cyre. When later told that his pronounciation would be used by everyone else and considered correct, his only response was "oops." (Inspired by this (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=13171796&postcount=15) post.)
JulesCARV 07-24-07, 07:49 AM	248) The only reason King Boranel isn't the sole being in Eberron to have a divine rank is that none of the abilities of any finite divine rank nor any of combination of salient divine abilities can adequately represent his power.
BoBzeMoose 08-18-07, 02:00 AM	149) King Boranel is level infinity squared...+6(yeah, he's epic like that)
Bluebrush 08-18-07, 07:42 AM	150: King Boranel made sure characters would go up to level 30 in fourth edition so he'd have some halfway decent challenges.
Papermonday 08-19-07, 02:15 AM	151. The reason why gods doesn't physically manifest in Eberron is because king Boranel claims he's an atheist.
Millenia 08-20-07, 03:46 AM	#152) Despite all rumors, 4e is, in fact, King Boranel compatible.
Darakhoranon 08-20-07, 07:54 AM	153) Necessarily so, since King Boranel made it up on a piece of toilet paper during a "time-out". After that, he got back to driving the daelkyrs to sanity.