257 MORE Things Skippy Isn't Allowed To Do In The Brelish Army [Archive] - Wizards Community

257 MORE Things Skippy Isn't Allowed To Do In The Brelish Army [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
StinkyNutz
11-17-04, 01:02 PM This was such a good thread (that I missed posting to), so I had to start up another one for dear ole Skip.

1. Skippy will not test out the DR of armor on the new recruits.

2. Skippy cannot claim to be a half ork for the sheer purpose of not bathing.

3. The use of unseen servant in THAT way will not be tolerated.

4. New recruits will not be referred to as “fresh meat for the grinder”. (By the way, all new recruits need to report in for a special assignment into the Mournland).

5. Raiding parties into the womens barracks will cease.

6. Skippy will no longer lead in said raids.

7. Skippy is not allowed to tell anyone that his life is really controlled by some "other person", and he is nothing more than numbers on a piece of paper.

8. Skippy will not use the phrase "I'm hung like an ogre" during wash times.

9. Or any other times for that matter.

10. Even if he is.
LazarusX
11-17-04, 01:04 PM By god; someone shoot Skippy please! :bounce:

lol, actually; i love these posts...they just get too darn long; too darn quick :)
Endless_Helix
11-17-04, 04:40 PM 11. Skippy will not have access to the glue at any point in time.
12. Skippy MUST wear clothes to roll call.
13. Even if someone stole his uniforms.
14. No, we would that Skippy not show up until he has something to wear.
15. A fig leaf is a start, but not enough.
16. Skippy cannot be allowed to use a wand of Arcane Mark.
17. No innappropriate uses of Mage Hand.
18. Skippy is to stop placing spike stones in my bed.
19. Skippy is to cease creating a cult around himself.
20. No, Skippy has no relations to any deities.
21. Do not place Alarm on the door when the CO has a hangover.
22. Causing the new recruits' socks to combust is an innappropriate use of mage hand.
Selkie_Guardian
11-17-04, 05:03 PM 23. Warforged are not military equipment so Skippy is not allowed to 'redistribute' the body parts of dead warforged.
24. Especial if said warforged were made of a valiable material such as mithril or adamantine.
25. Skippy is not alowed to randomly slaughter people because he claims he is a paladin and detected evil.
26. Escpecialy because Skippy ISN'T a paladin.
27. The regiment's waretouched master is not to be adressed as 'Wolverien'.
StinkyNutz
11-17-04, 05:08 PM 28. Skippy cannot claim to have taken a vow of poverty to get out of carrying equipment during a march.

29. It is not funny to give a cursed belt of alternate sex to the commanding officer.

30. Skippy will not charge people to see the female dwarves, and bill them as the bearded ladies.

31. The sovereign host cannot contradict any of these orders.

32. Skippy was not present during the last dragon-elf war. Nor is he an elf or a dragon.

33. Skippy will no longer use the scrying mirror to crank call the 9th plane of hell.
Tengu1958
11-17-04, 06:28 PM 34. Skippy will not ask "What smells like death warmed over?" when passing the Karnathi barracks.

35. Will not ask the Karrnathi Mess Sergeant for the Brains recipe.

36. When visiting the temple of Vol never ask who's the green babe with wings?

37. Also don't suggest that she take a bath, even if she does reek like the dead.

38. Don't suggest polka music to liven things up when visiting the Undying Court.

39. Quit telling shifter women that you admire a woman that shaves more than you.

40. Its just not right to sing "Carnith did not give anything to the tin man. That he didn't already have." around the warforged.

41. New recruits do not use the eternal curse wands on each other during training missions.

42. Even if its funny.

43. The Mournlands is not a byproduct of the 1st Sergeant's diet.

44. Even if the Mournlands smells better than the 1st Sergeant.

45. Its not right to tell new recruits they have to donate one cup full of blood to the Blood of Vol priest each month.

46. You may not ask to see the female trooper's dragon marks if you show them yours first.

47. Even if your dragon mark is cute.

48. And no I do not know if most people sit on their dragon mark.
Warforged_316
11-17-04, 07:16 PM 49. Skippy will not use polymorph anyobject in inaproprate ways.
50. creating a girlfriend out of the drill sergents couch is in apropriate
ChronosCrow
11-17-04, 10:08 PM 49. Skippy will not use polymorph anyobject in inaproprate ways.
50. creating a girlfriend out of the drill sergents couch is in apropriate

51. However, creating a girlfriend for Merrix d'Cannith is. He's a lonely guy, needs his 'special' attention.
JDubTrafficGod
11-18-04, 06:17 AM 52. Skippy may not reward the new recruits with dead chickens.

53. Nor may he reward them with live chickens.

54. Skippy may not end all of his sentances with the words "As the Dark Lord teaches."

55. No soldier will be excused from any time of his watch shift due to the fact that his religion 'demands' a nap break.

56. The King of Breland does not, I repeat, does not look like a Bugbear.
Save-vs-DM
11-18-04, 06:36 AM 57. Skippy will not refer to Harry Potter books as his instruction manuels to the magical arts.

Cheers,
SvD
ImmortalBlueMage
11-18-04, 07:05 AM 58. Skippy shall not steal dragonshards from the armory and smuggle them home by repainting them to look like rocks.
JDubTrafficGod
11-18-04, 08:36 AM 59. To avoid confusion no soldier is allowed to refer to himself in the third person, regardless of claims of multiple personalities.
CommanderFluffy
11-18-04, 12:51 PM 60. Skippy must not replace the company's arrows with arrows half the standard size.

61. Dogbreath is not an appropriate name for a shifter.

62. Even if they have dogbreath

63. Skippy must not pour alchemist's fire into the spicy chicken in an attempt to "give it some kick"

64. Neither will he add anything else "unsavory" to the food

65. In fact Skippy can simply stay out of the mess hall altogether.
StinkyNutz
11-18-04, 01:26 PM 66. "Please" is not in fact, "The" magic word.

67. Neither is "abra cadabra".

68. Skippy will no longer make voodoo dolls of commanding officers.

69. There is no such thing as "The Dragon Mark of Being Drunk On Duty".

70. Halfing cadets are not "cute little wee ones".

71. "They are the perfect height" will not be said around the halfling women.

72. Even if its true.
Warforged_316
11-18-04, 02:46 PM 70. Halfing cadets are not "cute little wee ones".

71. "They are the perfect height" will not be said around the halfling women.

72. Even if its true.

thats sum funny **** (instert word here)

73. Hocus Pokus is neither a vocal spell component or the magic word

74 . skippy will not give catnip to the feline shifters in exchange for a date

75. Gnomish recrutes are not to be used as lawn decorations

76. even if u give them pointy hats and make them stand still

77. in skippy's case dating a shifter is crulity to animals (even if they are vaugly humanoid)

78. a silver razor is not a lychanthrops best friend nor is skippy
JDubTrafficGod
11-18-04, 03:10 PM 79. Skippy shall no longer incourage or order Cadets to urinate on lightning rails.
StinkyNutz
11-18-04, 03:44 PM 75. Gnomish recrutes are not to be used as lawn decorations

76. even if u give them pointy hats and make them stand still

Those ones actually made me snork. Too funny!!!

79. Rakshasa do not make good pen pals.

80. Neither do Illithids.

81. Saying "she loves me for my mind" about the illithid woman you met in a bar is improper.

82. Rakshasa are not "widdle kitty cats that are only mad cuz they dont have a ball of string".

83. Do not tease rakshasas with ball of string and mouse toys.

84. The demon wastes will not make "the perfect camping spot".

85. A dress is not proper military attire.

86. Even if claimed to be a kilt.

87. And Skippy will no longer ask the other cadets, or the CO's if said dress makes him look fat.

88. Even if it does.
bjorntfh
11-18-04, 11:15 PM 89. Skippy is never to be allowed near the regimental mascot again.

90. Regardless of whether it's his duty to feed it.

91. The Wand of Wonder is to be kept locked up at all times and Skippy isn't allowed to be within 500 feet of it.

92. Or the regimental commander's wife.

93. Ever.
Warforged_316
11-19-04, 08:37 AM 88. Skippy is forbidden to go near the families of any of his COs

87. even if he was invited for dinner

86. skippy must remain fully dressed at all times

85. even in the shower

84. making a pass at the female personality warforged is not interspiceies diplomacy it's just wrong

83. even if she fell for the old "i used polymorph to become human" trick
Belabras
11-19-04, 10:23 AM 89. Skippy is not a half-golem with 'full piston action.'

90. Skippy is, in fact, not half anything.

91. Skippy is not allowed to submit proof to the contrary.
Warforged_316
11-23-04, 10:32 AM 94. skippy is forbidden from talking to anything in draconic (all he knows are curses)

95. skippy is forbidden to preform random cavaty searches on warforged recurits from the mournlands, even if he uses dentists tools
Warforged_316
11-23-04, 10:33 AM 96. dwaf tossing is not the official sport of the mror holds

97. dwarf tossing is not an actual sport and is a good way to end up with a war axe in your spleen :P
Thramzorean
11-23-04, 11:23 AM 98. Skippy is not allowed to walk around with a repeating crossbow asking if people feel lucky.

99. Skippy is to cease refering to the CO's wife as the fourth night hag of Droaam.

100. Skippy must stop writing to the Keeper of the Flame asking if it's is true she produces silver pyrotechnics with chilli beans and a match.

101. Skippy is to not to call the mobile fortress Argonth the field fertilizer
CommanderFluffy
11-23-04, 03:36 PM 92. Skippy is not one of the Lords of Dust and may not claim to be such

93. Skippy may not threaten people by saying "you'll be sorry when my masters fianlly get free"

102. Skippy is not allowed on at all Argonth in fact

103. In fact, Skippy may not even breathe on Argonth as doing such means SKippy is WAY TOO CLOSE to it

104. Skippy may not suggest Nuts and bolts as being nutritionally balanced for a warforged.
Warforged_316
11-23-04, 04:09 PM 105. the prince of new cyre did not create the dead grey mist by eating lots of chilli

106. skippy is to blame for the day of mourning

107. skippy is forbidden to go to the karnathi baracks asking for his mommy (even if she is really there)
Alhandra's Feisty Destrier
11-28-04, 03:10 PM Conversions:
31. Not allowed to let homunculi take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let homunculi take command of my post.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
91. I am not authorized to initiate another Silver Crusade against lycanthrophes.
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the War of the Mark, and I should stop implying that he did.
141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove “The Pen is Mightier than the sword”.

Home-made:
Not allowed to take the Airship 'out for a cruise'.
Not allowed to sell the Warforged sergeant to random passers-by.
Not allowed to switch yesterday's Sharn Inquisitive for intelligence reports.
Dragonshards are not catapult stones.
Power Word: Fart is not a spell, and I shouldn't threaten recruits with a 'scroll' of it.
Warforged_316
04-24-06, 01:05 AM 106. Skippy is not one of the dreaming dark when he sleep and is forbidden from aruging the point.

107. Skippy is forbebben to claim that he is an inspired. (he`s not even a kalashthar)

108.Skippy`s ex-wife is not a dusk hag and he should be ashamed of himself for saying so (his current wife on the other hand actually is :P )
Naudachu
04-24-06, 06:59 PM 109. Skippy no longer has the right to sing the blues
110. Skippy will have no more dealings with "those Talenta munchkins"
111. In the end Skippy will be the one who saves the world as he unravels the prophecy
112. In no way is Skippy allowed to unravel the prophecy early
113. Even if he is "really bored"
114. Or prompted by "what could it hurt?"
115. Skippy will no longer dress up as The Keeper and claim the souls he's collecting are really nougat filled chocolates
116. And he absolutely will not eat them in front of their owners asking if they "want a bite"
117. Even if they melt in your mouth, not in your hands
118. Because we all know the chocolate coating makes it go down easier
rampant
04-24-06, 10:05 PM 119. Skippy is not allowed to use ideas from the crew of the Forgotten Freedom.

120. Especialy once he statrs to refer to their list as a field guide.

121. Skippy is not allowed to give ideas to the crew of the Forgotten Freedom

122. Especially after they started paying Him a consulting fee.
Kaizer_Ryu
04-25-06, 12:40 AM 123: Skippy is not allowed to tell King Kaius to "bite me"

124: Skippy is not allowed to taunt the Lord of Blades

125: No, it's not wrong. Just tacky

126: Skippy is in no way, shape, or form allowed on the Forgottem Freedom

127: Or allow that bunch of psychos anywhere near Breland

128: Skippy is not to talk to Pontiff Jaela

129: Or be within 300 feet of her

130: Or 1000 feet of Flamekeep
Warforged_316
04-26-06, 02:19 PM 131. Skippy is not alowed to offer king kaius a bloody marry

132. Skippy dosen`t know anyone named marry :P

133. Skippy will not chase warforged with a socket wrench

134. it is not a brelish tradition to have skippy host "shave the shifter" festivals

135. Skippy is not to be anywhere near the shifter recruits . ever.
Amik_Wulfenkind
04-26-06, 03:27 PM 136. Skippy is not allowed to claim he is a female personality war forged.

137. Even when wearing a dress.

138. On no account is skippy allowed to claim that gnomes and halfings are perfect hieght for target practice.

139. Skippy is not allowed to scream "NO I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU!" when his CO says something to him.
rampant
04-27-06, 08:02 PM 140. Skippy is not allowed to wear a dress.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer
04-29-06, 05:32 PM 141 Skipy shall not atempt to sell logging rights in the eldarine reaches to recruits.
142 Nor shall he invest the company payroll in 'Eldarine Lumber Futures'
Amik_Wulfenkind
04-30-06, 07:17 AM 143: SKippy should not refer to the Karrnathi soldiers as "dead meat". It's just not polite. Even if it is true.

144: If a Karrathi soldier is about to do something dangerous, Skippy is not allowed to say: "Okay, but it's your funeral... again."

145: On second thoughts Skippy isn't allowed anywhere near the Karrnathi soldiers.

146: Skippy is forbiden, no matter what, to ask female personality warforged whether they want to see his "add-ons".

147: Skippy is not allowed to treat warforged as objects. For example, he's not allowed to hold a warforged infront of him and say, "i've got a warforged and i'm not afraid to use it"... but i don't think Skippy's that cheesy anyway.

148: During food fights in the mess hall, Skippy is not allowed to deem the fight "necessary ranged training" when his CO has a go at him for allowing it.

149: Skippy is not allowed to iniate said food fights.

150: Gnomes/halflings doused in torch oil do not make "good portable torches". You're supposed to use kobolds instead.

I've spelt "Karrnathi" wrong, haven't i?

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
StinkyNutz 11-17-04, 01:02 PM	This was such a good thread (that I missed posting to), so I had to start up another one for dear ole Skip. 1. Skippy will not test out the DR of armor on the new recruits. 2. Skippy cannot claim to be a half ork for the sheer purpose of not bathing. 3. The use of unseen servant in THAT way will not be tolerated. 4. New recruits will not be referred to as “fresh meat for the grinder”. (By the way, all new recruits need to report in for a special assignment into the Mournland). 5. Raiding parties into the womens barracks will cease. 6. Skippy will no longer lead in said raids. 7. Skippy is not allowed to tell anyone that his life is really controlled by some "other person", and he is nothing more than numbers on a piece of paper. 8. Skippy will not use the phrase "I'm hung like an ogre" during wash times. 9. Or any other times for that matter. 10. Even if he is.
LazarusX 11-17-04, 01:04 PM	By god; someone shoot Skippy please! :bounce: lol, actually; i love these posts...they just get too darn long; too darn quick :)
Endless_Helix 11-17-04, 04:40 PM	11. Skippy will not have access to the glue at any point in time. 12. Skippy MUST wear clothes to roll call. 13. Even if someone stole his uniforms. 14. No, we would that Skippy not show up until he has something to wear. 15. A fig leaf is a start, but not enough. 16. Skippy cannot be allowed to use a wand of Arcane Mark. 17. No innappropriate uses of Mage Hand. 18. Skippy is to stop placing spike stones in my bed. 19. Skippy is to cease creating a cult around himself. 20. No, Skippy has no relations to any deities. 21. Do not place Alarm on the door when the CO has a hangover. 22. Causing the new recruits' socks to combust is an innappropriate use of mage hand.
Selkie_Guardian 11-17-04, 05:03 PM	23. Warforged are not military equipment so Skippy is not allowed to 'redistribute' the body parts of dead warforged. 24. Especial if said warforged were made of a valiable material such as mithril or adamantine. 25. Skippy is not alowed to randomly slaughter people because he claims he is a paladin and detected evil. 26. Escpecialy because Skippy ISN'T a paladin. 27. The regiment's waretouched master is not to be adressed as 'Wolverien'.
StinkyNutz 11-17-04, 05:08 PM	28. Skippy cannot claim to have taken a vow of poverty to get out of carrying equipment during a march. 29. It is not funny to give a cursed belt of alternate sex to the commanding officer. 30. Skippy will not charge people to see the female dwarves, and bill them as the bearded ladies. 31. The sovereign host cannot contradict any of these orders. 32. Skippy was not present during the last dragon-elf war. Nor is he an elf or a dragon. 33. Skippy will no longer use the scrying mirror to crank call the 9th plane of hell.
Tengu1958 11-17-04, 06:28 PM	34. Skippy will not ask "What smells like death warmed over?" when passing the Karnathi barracks. 35. Will not ask the Karrnathi Mess Sergeant for the Brains recipe. 36. When visiting the temple of Vol never ask who's the green babe with wings? 37. Also don't suggest that she take a bath, even if she does reek like the dead. 38. Don't suggest polka music to liven things up when visiting the Undying Court. 39. Quit telling shifter women that you admire a woman that shaves more than you. 40. Its just not right to sing "Carnith did not give anything to the tin man. That he didn't already have." around the warforged. 41. New recruits do not use the eternal curse wands on each other during training missions. 42. Even if its funny. 43. The Mournlands is not a byproduct of the 1st Sergeant's diet. 44. Even if the Mournlands smells better than the 1st Sergeant. 45. Its not right to tell new recruits they have to donate one cup full of blood to the Blood of Vol priest each month. 46. You may not ask to see the female trooper's dragon marks if you show them yours first. 47. Even if your dragon mark is cute. 48. And no I do not know if most people sit on their dragon mark.
Warforged_316 11-17-04, 07:16 PM	49. Skippy will not use polymorph anyobject in inaproprate ways. 50. creating a girlfriend out of the drill sergents couch is in apropriate
ChronosCrow 11-17-04, 10:08 PM	49. Skippy will not use polymorph anyobject in inaproprate ways. 50. creating a girlfriend out of the drill sergents couch is in apropriate 51. However, creating a girlfriend for Merrix d'Cannith is. He's a lonely guy, needs his 'special' attention.
JDubTrafficGod 11-18-04, 06:17 AM	52. Skippy may not reward the new recruits with dead chickens. 53. Nor may he reward them with live chickens. 54. Skippy may not end all of his sentances with the words "As the Dark Lord teaches." 55. No soldier will be excused from any time of his watch shift due to the fact that his religion 'demands' a nap break. 56. The King of Breland does not, I repeat, does not look like a Bugbear.
Save-vs-DM 11-18-04, 06:36 AM	57. Skippy will not refer to Harry Potter books as his instruction manuels to the magical arts. Cheers, SvD
ImmortalBlueMage 11-18-04, 07:05 AM	58. Skippy shall not steal dragonshards from the armory and smuggle them home by repainting them to look like rocks.
JDubTrafficGod 11-18-04, 08:36 AM	59. To avoid confusion no soldier is allowed to refer to himself in the third person, regardless of claims of multiple personalities.
CommanderFluffy 11-18-04, 12:51 PM	60. Skippy must not replace the company's arrows with arrows half the standard size. 61. Dogbreath is not an appropriate name for a shifter. 62. Even if they have dogbreath 63. Skippy must not pour alchemist's fire into the spicy chicken in an attempt to "give it some kick" 64. Neither will he add anything else "unsavory" to the food 65. In fact Skippy can simply stay out of the mess hall altogether.
StinkyNutz 11-18-04, 01:26 PM	66. "Please" is not in fact, "The" magic word. 67. Neither is "abra cadabra". 68. Skippy will no longer make voodoo dolls of commanding officers. 69. There is no such thing as "The Dragon Mark of Being Drunk On Duty". 70. Halfing cadets are not "cute little wee ones". 71. "They are the perfect height" will not be said around the halfling women. 72. Even if its true.
Warforged_316 11-18-04, 02:46 PM	70. Halfing cadets are not "cute little wee ones". 71. "They are the perfect height" will not be said around the halfling women. 72. Even if its true. thats sum funny **** (instert word here) 73. Hocus Pokus is neither a vocal spell component or the magic word 74 . skippy will not give catnip to the feline shifters in exchange for a date 75. Gnomish recrutes are not to be used as lawn decorations 76. even if u give them pointy hats and make them stand still 77. in skippy's case dating a shifter is crulity to animals (even if they are vaugly humanoid) 78. a silver razor is not a lychanthrops best friend nor is skippy
JDubTrafficGod 11-18-04, 03:10 PM	79. Skippy shall no longer incourage or order Cadets to urinate on lightning rails.
StinkyNutz 11-18-04, 03:44 PM	75. Gnomish recrutes are not to be used as lawn decorations 76. even if u give them pointy hats and make them stand still Those ones actually made me snork. Too funny!!! 79. Rakshasa do not make good pen pals. 80. Neither do Illithids. 81. Saying "she loves me for my mind" about the illithid woman you met in a bar is improper. 82. Rakshasa are not "widdle kitty cats that are only mad cuz they dont have a ball of string". 83. Do not tease rakshasas with ball of string and mouse toys. 84. The demon wastes will not make "the perfect camping spot". 85. A dress is not proper military attire. 86. Even if claimed to be a kilt. 87. And Skippy will no longer ask the other cadets, or the CO's if said dress makes him look fat. 88. Even if it does.
bjorntfh 11-18-04, 11:15 PM	89. Skippy is never to be allowed near the regimental mascot again. 90. Regardless of whether it's his duty to feed it. 91. The Wand of Wonder is to be kept locked up at all times and Skippy isn't allowed to be within 500 feet of it. 92. Or the regimental commander's wife. 93. Ever.
Warforged_316 11-19-04, 08:37 AM	88. Skippy is forbidden to go near the families of any of his COs 87. even if he was invited for dinner 86. skippy must remain fully dressed at all times 85. even in the shower 84. making a pass at the female personality warforged is not interspiceies diplomacy it's just wrong 83. even if she fell for the old "i used polymorph to become human" trick
Belabras 11-19-04, 10:23 AM	89. Skippy is not a half-golem with 'full piston action.' 90. Skippy is, in fact, not half anything. 91. Skippy is not allowed to submit proof to the contrary.
Warforged_316 11-23-04, 10:32 AM	94. skippy is forbidden from talking to anything in draconic (all he knows are curses) 95. skippy is forbidden to preform random cavaty searches on warforged recurits from the mournlands, even if he uses dentists tools
Warforged_316 11-23-04, 10:33 AM	96. dwaf tossing is not the official sport of the mror holds 97. dwarf tossing is not an actual sport and is a good way to end up with a war axe in your spleen :P
Thramzorean 11-23-04, 11:23 AM	98. Skippy is not allowed to walk around with a repeating crossbow asking if people feel lucky. 99. Skippy is to cease refering to the CO's wife as the fourth night hag of Droaam. 100. Skippy must stop writing to the Keeper of the Flame asking if it's is true she produces silver pyrotechnics with chilli beans and a match. 101. Skippy is to not to call the mobile fortress Argonth the field fertilizer
CommanderFluffy 11-23-04, 03:36 PM	92. Skippy is not one of the Lords of Dust and may not claim to be such 93. Skippy may not threaten people by saying "you'll be sorry when my masters fianlly get free" 102. Skippy is not allowed on at all Argonth in fact 103. In fact, Skippy may not even breathe on Argonth as doing such means SKippy is WAY TOO CLOSE to it 104. Skippy may not suggest Nuts and bolts as being nutritionally balanced for a warforged.
Warforged_316 11-23-04, 04:09 PM	105. the prince of new cyre did not create the dead grey mist by eating lots of chilli 106. skippy is to blame for the day of mourning 107. skippy is forbidden to go to the karnathi baracks asking for his mommy (even if she is really there)
Alhandra's Feisty Destrier 11-28-04, 03:10 PM	Conversions: 31. Not allowed to let homunculi take responsibility for any of my actions. 32. Not allowed to let homunculi take command of my post. 79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. 91. I am not authorized to initiate another Silver Crusade against lycanthrophes. 103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the War of the Mark, and I should stop implying that he did. 141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove “The Pen is Mightier than the sword”. Home-made: Not allowed to take the Airship 'out for a cruise'. Not allowed to sell the Warforged sergeant to random passers-by. Not allowed to switch yesterday's Sharn Inquisitive for intelligence reports. Dragonshards are not catapult stones. Power Word: Fart is not a spell, and I shouldn't threaten recruits with a 'scroll' of it.
Warforged_316 04-24-06, 01:05 AM	106. Skippy is not one of the dreaming dark when he sleep and is forbidden from aruging the point. 107. Skippy is forbebben to claim that he is an inspired. (he`s not even a kalashthar) 108.Skippy`s ex-wife is not a dusk hag and he should be ashamed of himself for saying so (his current wife on the other hand actually is :P )
Naudachu 04-24-06, 06:59 PM	109. Skippy no longer has the right to sing the blues 110. Skippy will have no more dealings with "those Talenta munchkins" 111. In the end Skippy will be the one who saves the world as he unravels the prophecy 112. In no way is Skippy allowed to unravel the prophecy early 113. Even if he is "really bored" 114. Or prompted by "what could it hurt?" 115. Skippy will no longer dress up as The Keeper and claim the souls he's collecting are really nougat filled chocolates 116. And he absolutely will not eat them in front of their owners asking if they "want a bite" 117. Even if they melt in your mouth, not in your hands 118. Because we all know the chocolate coating makes it go down easier
rampant 04-24-06, 10:05 PM	119. Skippy is not allowed to use ideas from the crew of the Forgotten Freedom. 120. Especialy once he statrs to refer to their list as a field guide. 121. Skippy is not allowed to give ideas to the crew of the Forgotten Freedom 122. Especially after they started paying Him a consulting fee.
Kaizer_Ryu 04-25-06, 12:40 AM	123: Skippy is not allowed to tell King Kaius to "bite me" 124: Skippy is not allowed to taunt the Lord of Blades 125: No, it's not wrong. Just tacky 126: Skippy is in no way, shape, or form allowed on the Forgottem Freedom 127: Or allow that bunch of psychos anywhere near Breland 128: Skippy is not to talk to Pontiff Jaela 129: Or be within 300 feet of her 130: Or 1000 feet of Flamekeep
Warforged_316 04-26-06, 02:19 PM	131. Skippy is not alowed to offer king kaius a bloody marry 132. Skippy dosen`t know anyone named marry :P 133. Skippy will not chase warforged with a socket wrench 134. it is not a brelish tradition to have skippy host "shave the shifter" festivals 135. Skippy is not to be anywhere near the shifter recruits . ever.
Amik_Wulfenkind 04-26-06, 03:27 PM	136. Skippy is not allowed to claim he is a female personality war forged. 137. Even when wearing a dress. 138. On no account is skippy allowed to claim that gnomes and halfings are perfect hieght for target practice. 139. Skippy is not allowed to scream "NO I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU!" when his CO says something to him.
rampant 04-27-06, 08:02 PM	140. Skippy is not allowed to wear a dress.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer 04-29-06, 05:32 PM	141 Skipy shall not atempt to sell logging rights in the eldarine reaches to recruits. 142 Nor shall he invest the company payroll in 'Eldarine Lumber Futures'
Amik_Wulfenkind 04-30-06, 07:17 AM	143: SKippy should not refer to the Karrnathi soldiers as "dead meat". It's just not polite. Even if it is true. 144: If a Karrathi soldier is about to do something dangerous, Skippy is not allowed to say: "Okay, but it's your funeral... again." 145: On second thoughts Skippy isn't allowed anywhere near the Karrnathi soldiers. 146: Skippy is forbiden, no matter what, to ask female personality warforged whether they want to see his "add-ons". 147: Skippy is not allowed to treat warforged as objects. For example, he's not allowed to hold a warforged infront of him and say, "i've got a warforged and i'm not afraid to use it"... but i don't think Skippy's that cheesy anyway. 148: During food fights in the mess hall, Skippy is not allowed to deem the fight "necessary ranged training" when his CO has a go at him for allowing it. 149: Skippy is not allowed to iniate said food fights. 150: Gnomes/halflings doused in torch oil do not make "good portable torches". You're supposed to use kobolds instead. I've spelt "Karrnathi" wrong, haven't i?