Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Sir Elton 08-31-05, 11:14 AM	I really want to see this adventure published. It was originally made as a Free fansub for the Wilderlands. However, for some reason, the people who published the Wilderlands gave up on it after the third try to have it submitted. I felt mad after that. So, I adapted it for Eberron. The adventure hasn't been published before. ======================================== ============== The Temple of the Snake God By Elton John Robb New Cyre is a city of refugees in Breland. Its society is one hoping to reclaim the Mournlands and to make it into Cyre again. As a city harboring refugees, the Cyrists that live here are often frustrated, jaded, and disappointed in the Silver Flame or other religions. As a result, many idolatrous cults have sprang up. The Snake Cult is one of these idolatrous cults. Founded by a sorcerer, this particular Snake Cult has an idol that is desired of Platfinger. “Temple of the Snake God” is an Eberron adventure that takes place within New Cyre. The adventure is designed for 1-4 7th level characters with a foreign or native Brelander background. This Eberron adventure requires the Player’s Handbook and Expanded Psionics Handbook to play. Designer’s Notes This adventure was inspired by the Bruce Lee movie The Game of Death. It’s my tribute to Bruce Lee himself, who tragically died a long time ago. GM’s Note It might be wise to realize that all or most of the heroes might get their butts kicked as they battle their way to the top of the Temple of the Snake God. This is an adventure that requires use of sword, sorcery, brains, and environment in order to conquer. Adventure Synopsis The Temple of the Snake God, located in New Cyre, is said to contain a treasure at the top of its apex. The courtyard of the Temple of the Snake God is guarded by snake cultists. The Temple of the Snake God itself has six levels, and each level is guarded by a warrior with a different fighting style: each differentiated by a different fighting technique. The apex is guarded by a giant serpent and the leader of the Snake Cult. The heroes were hired by a rich Brelish Merchant named Platfinger to the barbarians. Platfinger loves platinum; he loves the color and its luster. He surrounds himself with the metal, and is a well known dealer in platinum antiquities. One of Platfinger’s forefingers is actually platinum, crafted for him by a wizard. How the heroes got to work for Platfinger is something they have to work out. The adventure actually begins with the heroes scouting out the Temple of the Snake God, assessing its weaknesses and strengths. Once they decide on a plan of action, they can storm the Temple using the resources they have to muster. Once pass the cultists the heroes can break into the Temple of the Snake God and face the five guards of the Temple Treasure. The first guard on the first floor is a fighter who has mastered the Sundering Parry. The second floor has a guard who is a living statue who mastered the Bull’s Charge. The third floor has a guard who has mastered the decapitating slash. The fourth floor has a magician. The fifth floor has a guard whose style is unknown. After they pass the one with the mysterious style of fighting, the heroes or hero makes their way to the top. At the top is the treasure: a platinum idol of a snake on a dais with a giant serpent coiled around it. The cult leader enters the scene, but he isn’t a holy man at all. He is, in fact Thast, an accomplished sorcerer. He wakes up the serpent then retreats, taking the idol with him. The heroes are left to deal with the serpent. After they have dispatched the serpent, the heroes may chase Thast to retrieve the idol. The chase will eventually lead to the Plaza of Profuse Pleasures. Once they dispatched the sorcerer and gain possession of the serpent idol, they can return it to Platfinger and then spend their rewards on whatever they fancy. Adventure Hooks The players are perfectly capable of coming up with an adventure hook or two for their characters for this adventure. However, in case they need inspiration, here are a few. Kidnapped! Platfinger has kidnapped someone special to a PC. Be it a sister, brother, parent(s), wife, or some other significant other. He holds the special one to ensure cooperation. Flaming Paladins Platfinger contacts the Flamists about an idolatrous cult in New Cyre. Well, in perfect flaming zeal, a Flaming Paladin joins the PCs on a personal Crusade to wipe out a wicked Snake Cult for the good of all Silver Flamedom. Morgrave University Types Morgrave University sends a few of it’s own to get the platinum idol and to study how it was constructed. Then Platfinger may buy the curious item after Morgrave scientists and wizards study how it was constructed. Important NPCs Note that Platfinger isn’t statted out. Thast Supervillian – Snake Cult Leader Male human (Red Dragon Bloodline, minor) 1/Sorcerer 5 CR: 5 Hit Dice: 7d4+14 Hit Points: 36 Initiative: +2 (+2 dex) Speed: 30 ft. AC: 13 (+2 dex, +1 dodge), touch 13, flatfooted 10 Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+1 Attack: short sword +1 melee finesse (1d6-1, crit. 19-20/x2) Full attack: short sword +1 melee finesse (1d6-1, crit. 19-20/x2) Space/Reach: 5 ft./ 5 ft. Special Attacks: — Special Qualities: minor Red Dragon bloodline (+2 on bluff Checks [level 4]), summon familiar AL: CG Saves: Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +5 Abilities: Str 9, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 17, Wis 10, Cha 18 Skills and feats: Bluff +8, Concentration +8, Knowledge (religion) +3, Listen +2, Spellcraft +8; Dodge (3rd), Empower Spell (6th), Extend Spell (1st); Weapon Group (basic weapons), Weapon Group (light blades) (1st) Spells known (6/6/4, 6/4/2, save DC 14+spell level): 0-level: Acid Splash, Arcane Mark, Detect Poison, Detect Magic, Read Magic, Touch of Fatigue; 1st level: Alarm, Identify, Mage Armor, Magic Missile, Shocking Grasp, Summon Monster I; 2nd level: Flaming Sphere, Invisibility, Protection from Arrows, Touch of Idiocy Sample Dialogue: “I always wanted to start my own religion.” Possessions: oil of grease, potion of haste, short sword, long robes, sandals, torch, bottle of jumping beans, flint and steal, signet ring (a ring in the shape of a snake), cloak of charisma +1 Background: Thast is your standard supervillian. He smells of soot and has a streak for hording treasure. He also suffers from Delusions of Grandeur and Megalomania. He started the Temple of the Snake God and made a lead snake idol representing the Snake God, and gilded it with platinum. He then started his own cult among the dispossessed, the down fallen, the jaded, and the desperate. The religion really got it’s start when some of the cultists started displaying divine magic, and two had become Ophiuci. And then it started to prosper when Thast managed to appropriate an elder serpent from Xen’drik. After this was done, Thast thought he would attract some adventurers with rumors of a magnificent treasure: his Snake Idol. He sent the clerics out on missions to spread the word of the Snake Cult and to create branches of the cult throughout Khorvaire. He then hired, commissioned, or duped five defenders of his citadel: one was the master of the Sundering Parry, another is a master of the Bull’s Charge, another is a master of the Decapitating Parry, another is a foil, and the last is a Master of an Unknown style. He then contacted Platfinger, a mysterious Brelish Crime Lord in Sharn, anonymously and told him of the wondrous idol he had in his temple. It was made of the Crime Lord’s weakness — Platinum. He challenged the Crime Lord to send Adventurers to get it. He did get a reply back, it said “Go weep.” Tavain Blademistress Master of the Sundering Parry Female Human (Amazon) Fighter 8 CR: 8 Hit Points: 98 (10d10+30) Initiative: +1 (+1 dex) Speed: 30 ft. AC: 13 (+2 chain mail and halter, +1 dex), touch 11, flatfooted 12 Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+10 Attack: Bastard sword +11 melee (1d10+2, crit. 19-20/x2), or Dagger +10 melee (1d6, crit 20/x2) Full Attack: Bastard sword +3 melee (1d10+10 [power attack], crit. 19-20/x2), or Dagger +10 melee (1d6, crit 20/x2) Special Attacks: Sundering Parry Special Qualities: Amazon traits Space/Reach: 5ft. / 5ft. Saves: Fort +10, Ref +6, Will +6 AL: NE Abilities: Str 14, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 11, Wis 14, Cha 14 Skills and feats: Balance +4, Climb +9, Handle Animal +7, Intimidate +8, Knowledge (Breland Geography) +4, Listen +8, Ride +7, Spot +8, Swim +12; Alertness, Endurance, Improved Sunder, Lightning Reflexes, Power Attack, Skill Focus: Swim, Weapon Focus (bastard sword); Weapon Group (basic), Weapon Group (flails and chains), Weapon Group (heavy blades), Weapon Group (light blades), Weapon Group (bows), Weapon Group (exotic weapons) Possessions: Amazon chain mail and halter, sandals, bastard sword +2, dagger Sundering Parry: When Tavain is parrying, she can take a -2 circumstance penalty to her parry roll. However, if she succeeds in parrying her enemy’s weapon, she may make a sunder attempt as a free action, with all the usual modifiers, (this includes the +4 bonus for the Improved Sunder feat) and a -2 circumstance penalty. Weakness: Savvy characters can try to turn her female chauvinism against her. Background: Tavain is working for Thast to protect the Serpent Idol. Apparently, she was set here to guard against anyone who got past the mooks in the courtyard. Wararm Master of the Bull’s Charge Male Personality Warforged Fighter 7 Size/Type: Medium Living Construct Hit Points: 18d10+30 (129 hp); Initiative: -1 Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares) AC: 14 (-1 dex, +5 Mithril body), touch 8, flat-footed 15 Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+9 Attack: Longsword +12 melee (1d8+2, crit. 20/x2) Full Attack: Longsword +12 melee (1d8+2, crit. 20/x2) Space/Reach: 5 ft. / 5 ft. Special Attacks: Bull Rush Special Qualities: Warforged traits, Battle-Hardened, Body as Weapon AL: LE Saves: Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +6 Abilities: Str 15, Dex 9, Con 14, Int 16, Wis 17, Cha 10 Skills and Feats: Appraise +6, Climb +8, Craft (Weaponsmith) +10, Knowledge (Sharn) +5, Intimidate +7, Knowledge (Tactics) +6, Listen +6, Swim +9; Mithril Body (1st), Silver Tracery (2nd), Power Attack (3rd), Weapon Focus (Longsword) (6th), Weapon Specialization (Longsword) (6th); Weapon Group (basic weapons), Weapon Group (axes), Weapon Group (heavy blades), Weapon Group (light blades), Weapon Group (bows) Possessions: Masterwork longsword, Battlefist, tinder box, flint and steel. Bull’s Charge: Wararm gains a +2 bonus on his damage roll when charging, but he provokes an attack of opportunity from his target before he can make his attack roll. Weakness: Someone can take advantage of his charging and use it against him. Background: Wararm looks like a typical warforged with a mithril body. He was forged by House Cannith in Sharn as a special commission by Thast. He stands still, looking innocent and harmless until no one is looking. Then he attacks. He was created to guard the second floor of the Temple of the Snake God. Morgrave the Beheader Master of the Decapitating Slash Male Human Rogue 3/Fighter 4/Assassin 1 CR: 8 Hit Dice: 8d6-8 + 1d6 – 1 Hit Points: 45 Initiative: +4 (+4 dex) Speed: 30 ft. AC: 14 (+4 dex); touch 14, flatfooted 10 Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+10 Attack: Rapier +10 melee (1d6, crit. 19-20/x2) Full Attack: Rapier +10 melee (1d6, crit. 19-20/x2 [Decapitating Slash]) Space/Reach: 5 ft. / 5 ft. Special Attacks: Decapitating slash (death attack), evasion, sneak attack, spells, trapfinding Special Qualities: poison use AL: CE Saves: Fort +5, Ref +11, Will +4 Abilities: Str 11, Dex 18, Con 9, Int 15, Wis 15, Cha 9 Notable Skills and feats: Appraise +4, Balance +11, Bluff +7, Climb +12, Craft (poison) +6, Decipher Script +6, Escape Artist +11, Gather Information +6, Intimidate +6, Listen +6, Sense Motive +8, Tumble +11, Swim +7; Combat Expertise, Dodge, Improved Disarm, Mobility, Parry, Weapon Finesse Weapon Group (basic weapons), Weapon Group (bows), Weapon Group (light blades) Possessions: Rapier, desert clothing, cotton cowl, boots, tinder box. Decapitating Slash: Morgrave the Beheader can only use this strike when an opponent provokes an attack of opportunity from him. At once, he can attempt a devastating attack of opportunity. If he scores a critical hit, his enemy must make a fortitude save (DC = 5 + damage dealt, after taking into account damage reduction) or be instantly killed, his head severed from his body. Morgrave then suffers a -4 circumstance penalty to his Defense Value for one round immediately after the attack of opportunity (-2 circumstance penalty to AC). Background: Morgrave is a mercenary, straight and simple. All he thinks about is his own prosperity. He mastered the decapitating slash when he became an assassin, and now it’s his signature death attack. He was hired by Thast to protect the third floor of the Temple of the Snake God. He was disfigured earlier in life, sporting two scars across his face. He hides them with his cowl. Weakness: If anyone can negotiate with Morgrave, they can offer him what he most desires — money — to let them pass. Tanya the Enchantress Master Foil Female Changling (becomer) Enchanter 7 CR: 7 Hit Dice: 7d4+14 Hit Points: 36 Initiative: +2 (+2 dex) Speed: 30 ft. AC: 13 (+2 dex, +1 dodge), touch 13, flatfooted 10 Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+2 Attack: rapier +3 melee (1d6-1, crit. 19-20/x2) Full attack: rapier +3 melee (1d6-1, crit. 19-20/x2) Space/Reach: 5 ft./ 5 ft. Special Attacks: — Special Qualities: Changeling traits, summon familiar AL: CG Saves: Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +5 Abilities: Str 9, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 17, Wis 10, Cha 17 Skills and feats: Bluff +8, Concentration +12, Knowledge (arcana) +13, Listen +2, Spellcraft +13; Dodge (3rd), Empower Spell (5th), Extend Spell (6th), Scribe Scroll (1st); Weapon Group (basic weapons), Weapon Group (light blades) (1st) Dark Elf Cantrips: Dancing Lights, Daze, Detect Magic, Read Magic Spells Prepared (Enchantment Specialist, prohibited schools: necromancy and divination; 4+1/4+1/3+1/2+1/1+1): 0-level: Arcane Mark, Flare, Light, Ray of Frost, Resistance; 1st level: Charm Person, Endure Elements, Featherfall, Hypnotism, Unseen Servant; 2nd level: Continual Flame, Daze Monster, Tanya’s Hideous Laughter, Mirror Image; 3rd level: Charm Person (Empowered), Deep Slumber, Lightning Bolt; 4th level: Charm Person (Empowered and Extended), Crushing Despair Wizard Spellbook: 0-level: all; 1st level: Alarm, Burning Hands, Charm Person, Endure Elements, Featherfall, Grease, Hypnotism, Mount, Sleep, Unseen Servant, Shield; 2nd level: Acid Arrow, Arcane Lock, Continual Flame, Daze Monster, Tanya’s Hideous Laughter, Mirror Image, Obscure Object, Protection from Arrows, Scorching Ray; 3rd Level: Dispel Magic, Deep Slumber, Lightning Bolt; 4th level: Charm Monster, Crushing Dispair, Fire Shield, Greater Invisibility Possessions: Revealing clothing, spellbook, masterwork rapier, dagger, sandals, tinderbox, and lantern. Also, she has some 200 silver pieces in a large purse. Background: Tanya was duped in working for Thast. However, her job as the guard on the fourth floor is to prevent invaders from reaching the top. She does this well by turning the invaders against each other with her spells. Weakness: Somebody can charm the boots off her feet and make her an ally. The Mysterious Master Mysterious Master of an unknown Fighting Style Female Human Psychic Warrior 8 CR: 8 Hit Dice: 12d8+44 Hit Points: 96 Initiative: +5 (+1 dex, +4 improved initiative) Speed: 30 ft. AC: 15 (+1 dex, +4 inertial armor); touch 11, flatfooted 14 Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+12 Attacks: magic two-bladed sword +10 melee (1d8+1/1d8+1, crit 19-20/x2) Full Attack: magic two-bladed sword +10 melee (1d8+1/1d8+1, crit 19-20/x2) Space/Reach: 5 ft. / 5 ft. Special Attacks: Bull’s Charge, Cat’s Parry, Sundering Parry, To the Hilt Special Qualities: Human Traits, 43 power points AL: LN Saves: Fort +12, Ref +5, Will +7 Abilities: Str 17, Dex 12, Con 19, Int 13, Wis 15, Cha 11 Skills and feats: Appraise +5, Autohypnosis +12, Bluff +6, Climb +12, Concentration +12, Knowledge (psionics) +6, Swim +11; Athletic (human), Focused Sunder (Psychic Warrior 5th), Improved Initiative (1st), Improved Sunder (3rd), Power Attack (Psychic Warrior 1st), Psionic Meditation (Psychic Warrior 8th); Weapon Group (basic), Weapon Group (heavy blades), Weapon Group (bows), Weapon Group (spears and lances), Weapon Group (Exotic Double Bladed) (Psychic Warrior 2nd) Powers Known (3/3/2, Save DC 12 + power’s level, 43 Power Points/day): 1st level: Call Weaponry, Inertial Armor, Defensive Precognition; 2nd level: Body Adjustment, Body Purification, Strength of My Enemy; 3rd level: Dimensional Slide, Mental Barrier; Possessions: magic Two-bladed sword +1, long, black, hippie-like gown, salmon colored body suit, rocking chair, 60 silver pieces Background: This mysterious master of an unknown art is Thast’s last line of defense. Where she came from, no one knows. But she is a master at her art — the psychic warrior’s art. She is incredibly flexible and able to use the environment to her advantage. She is usually found rocking on her rocking chair, and will rest on her rocking chair between fighting rounds (mostly to regain her psionic focus). When anyone comes to her floor, the fifth floor, she removes her gown and calls her two-bladed sword to her hand. She will also erect her inertial armor, or inertial barrier. Physical Description: She has a beautiful Caucasian face marred by black and white gothic make-up and straight black hair. She has a black, spiked leather neck collar. She has a black gown, and she removes the gown before battle. Her flesh colored body suit gives her some edge in combat, distracting her enemies, a +2 circumstance bonus on all rolls. Then she proceeds to wail on them, effectively going nova to defeat her opponents. Weakness: This gothic psychic warrior is sun-light sensitive. Anyone who can find a way to expose her eyes to the sun-light would temporarily blind and daze her for 10 rounds. After that, she is at -2 to all rolls until she can hypnotize herself. Mooks and Thugs OPHIUCUS Or the Were-Snake Humanoid Form Size/Type: Medium humanoid (Human, Shapechanger) Hit Dice: 2d10+2 + 11d8+7 (69 hp) Initiative: +3 Speed: 30 ft. AC: 22 (+2 dex, +5 chain mail, +3 large shield, +2 natural), touch 12, Flatfooted 18 Base Attack Bonus: +10/+11 Attack: Short sword +12 finesse (1d6, crit. 20/x2); or long bow +13 ranged (1d8, crit 20/x3) Full Attack: two Short sword +10 finesse (rh), Short sword +4 finesse (lh) (1d6 + 1d6, crit. 20/x2); or long bow +5 ranged (1d8, crit 20/x3) Space/Reach: 5 ft. / 5ft. Special Attacks: — Special Qualities: Alternate form, snake empathy, Lycanthropic DR (4), lowlight vision, scent Saves: Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +4 Abilities: Str 13, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 9 Skills: Balance +7, Climb +5, Craft (bowyer) +3, Hide +10, Intimidate +4, Listen +3, Ride +7, Spot +4, Survival +2, Swim +6 Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Far Shot, Point Blank Shot, Skill Focus: Hide, Toughness, Two Weapon Fighting, Weapon Focus: Longbow Environment: — Organization: Solitary, pair, or family (3-4) Challenge Rating: 7 Treasure: Standard Alignment: Usually lawful evil Advancement: By character Class Level Adjustment: +3 OPHIUCUS Or the Were-Snake Snake Form Size/Type: Large humanoid (Human, Shapechanger) Hit Dice: 2d10+2 + 11d8+7 (69 hp) Initiative: +3 Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), climb 20 ft., swim 20 ft. AC: 15 (-2 size, +3 Dex, +4 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12 Base Attack Bonus: +10/+11 Attack: Bite +13 melee (1d8+10) Full Attack: Bite +13 melee (1d8+10) Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft. Special Attacks: curse of lycanthropy, constrict 1d8+10, improved grab Special Qualities: Alternate form, snake empathy, DR 10/Silver, lowlight vision, scent Saves: Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +4 Abilities: Str 28, Dex 17, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 9 Skills: Balance +7, Climb +5*, Craft (bowyer) +3, Hide +10, Intimidate +4, Listen +3, Ride +7, Spot +4, Survival +2, Swim +6 Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Far Shot, Iron Will, Point Blank Shot, Skill Focus: Hide, Toughness, Two Weapon Fighting, Weapon Focus: Longbow Environment: — Organization: Solitary, pair, or family (3-4) Challenge Rating: 7 Treasure: Standard Alignment: Usually lawful evil Advancement: By character Class Level Adjustment: +3 OPHIUCUS Or the Were-Snake Snake Hybrid Form Size/Type: Large humanoid (Human, Shapechanger) Hit Dice: 2d10+2 + 11d8+7 (69 hp) Initiative: +3 Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), climb 20 ft., swim 20 ft. AC: 15 (-2 size, +3 Dex, +4 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12 Base Attack Bonus: +10/+13 Attack: Short sword +12 finesse (1d6, crit. 20/x2), long bow +13 ranged (1d8, crit 20/x3), claw +12 finesse (1d6, crit. 20/x2), or bite +13 melee (1d8, crit. 20/x2) Full Attack: two Short sword +10 finesse (rh), Short sword +4 finesse (lh) (1d6, crit. 20/x2) and bite +13 melee (1d8, crit. 20/x2); or long bow +5 ranged (1d8, crit 20/x3); or 2 claws +10 finesse (1d6+3, crit. 20/x2) and bite +13 melee (1d8, crit. 20/x2) Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft. Special Attacks: curse of lycanthropy Special Qualities: Alternate form, snake empathy, DR 10/Silver, lowlight vision, scent Saves: Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +4 Abilities: Str 16, Dex 17, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 9 Skills: Balance +7, Climb +5*, Craft (bowyer) +3, Hide +10, Intimidate +4, Listen +3, Ride +7, Spot +4, Survival +2, Swim +6 Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Far Shot, Iron Will, Point Blank Shot, Skill Focus: Hide, Toughness, Two Weapon Fighting, Weapon Focus: Longbow Environment: — Organization: Solitary, pair, or family (3-4) Challenge Rating: 7 Treasure: Standard Alignment: Usually lawful evil Advancement: By character Class Level Adjustment: +3 Ophiuci, or were-snakes, are humans or other humanoids that can change into the form of a snake. When they take snake form, they appear to be giant constrictor snakes like the anaconda or the reticulated python. Typically, in snake form, they have green and yellow scales. When taking hybrid form, the hybrid were-snake has a snake’s body, a snake’s head or enlarged snake’s head to fit the human brain, and two arms and is typically scaled all over. Were-snakes in humanoid form have no distinguishing traits. COMBAT In (constrictor) snake form, a were-snake can constrict and grab as a constrictor snake does. A were-snake in hybrid form may dispense with weapon attacks, though it can wield a weapon and use its bite as a secondary attack. Alternate Form (Su): A were-snake can assume a half-man, half-snake hybrid form or the form of a snake. Curse of Lycanthropy (Su): Any humanoid or giant hit by a were-snake’s bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract ophiucean lycanthropy. Constrict (Ex): On a successful grapple check, a were-snake in snake form deals 1d3+4 points of damage. Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a were-snake must be in snake form, and hit with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict. Snake Empathy (Ex): Communicate with snakes and elder serpents, and gain a +4 racial bonus on Charisma-based checks against snakes and elder serpents. Skills *An Ophiucus in hybrid or snake form gains a +4 racial bonus on climb checks when tracking by scent. Possessions: Chain mail (mail hauberk), long bow, helmet, two short swords. Unnamed Snake Cultists Faceless Horde (2 per PC level) Size/Type: Medium Humanoid CR: 1/6 HD: 1d8 Hit Points: 4 (special) Initiative: +0 Speed: 30 ft. DV Dodge: 12 (+2 dex bonus) DV Parry: 10 DR: — AC: 12 (+2 dex), touch 12, flatfooted 10 Base Attack/Grapple: +0/+0 Attack: short sword +0 melee (1d6, special) Full Attack: short sword +0 melee (1d6, special) Space/Reach: 5 ft. / 5ft. Special Attacks: Special Attack [hit only on a 19 or 20], Lucky shot Special Qualities: 4 hp only, Feat Vulnerability (Deflect Arrows, Dodge, Cleave, Great Cleave, Power Attack, Whirlwind Attack), Extra Attack Vulnerability AL: NE Saves: Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +0 Abilities: Str 10, Dex 14, Con 10, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 10
Sir Elton 08-31-05, 11:14 AM	Fade in: In New Cyre Premise: Our heroes were “hired” by the megalomaniac crime lord Platfinger to recover a valuable artifact from the Temple of the Snake God in New Cyre. Their motivations known only to them, they must recover the valuable artifact by getting in to the Temple of the Snake God and then getting out, or suffer the consequences for failure. The Twist: The Temple of the Snake God is protected not only by Snake Cultists, but five warriors who are masters over five different styles of fighting. One is a master over the Sundering Parry, another is the master of the Bull’s Charge, the third is a master of the Decapitating Slash, the fourth is an enchantress, and finally the fifth is a master of an unknown style. At the apex, the Cult Leader and his pet elder serpent are waiting for them. The Climax: The cult leader tries to escape with the Snake Idol, the item to be recovered. He leads the heroes on a chase through New Cyre. Scene 1: The Court Yard In this scene, the adventure begins when the heroes are entering the courtyard of the Temple to the Snake God, located in New Cyre. If this is the start of a campaign, then the action starts here. If not, then you need to develop the story a bit to get the players to this point. The Temple of the Snake God is a pyramidal tower that looks like a pagoda with a snake that is coiled around it. The courtyard surrounds the Temple of the Snake God, and it is surrounded by a stone wall. The courtyard is much like a village, and is frequented by men in cultist attire: yellow garments with green snakes embroidered on them. The fight begins when the heroes begin their incursion on sacred ground. The Heroes are up against a faceless horde of snake cultists; which is designed for the PCs to bowel through in short order. This is an action scene where the PCs are supposed to come out on top, as this scene requires the players to think in of terms of sword, sorcery, and environment. It also sets the stage and should be played out in action movie style (The action movie rules can be downloaded from the Atlas Games’ website: http://www.atlas-games.com/pdf_storage/cor_burning_shaolin.pdf). In this fight, the number of snake cultists equals the total of all party members times two. In addition, one out of every ten snake cultists is an Ophiucus or were-snake (see above for stats). The minions come in two waves; the first half is led by a were-snake and is on scene in the beginning of the fight. The second comes running around the temple as soon as there are fewer members of the first horde than PCs and the first were-snake is incapacitated. This one is led also by a were-snake. The were-snakes can change into hybrid form or animal form at any time they wish. THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN DURING THE FIGHT This is a stage set: the initial battle does take place in the courtyard, which has places for the snake cultists to sleep in shacks, places to eat, and a bunch of other things that make the cultists somewhat self sufficient. There are sets too, outside the courtyard, if the battle moves to outside. Unlike the flimsy construction found in Hong Kong action films of this type, the set pieces are constructed well enough to provide some realism (this is not a Hong Kong film adventure; it’s a Conan film adventure). Still, the tops of the shops around the temple and in the temple can be used as an extra level for the PCs to jump on to targets below. The temple walls can also be used for this purpose. Still, the construction is flimsy enough for a character or mook to be thrown into the walls, causing the walls to break with embarrassing loudness. Temple walls are made of stone, so anyone who is thrown against the temple walls will get 1d4 points of subdual damage. The contents of the various shops and stalls also provide a wide range of possible stunts. BUTCHER’S SHOP: • Found weapons: cleavers, knives, pig carcasses, chicken carcasses, steak cuts, and entrails. • A character can jump into a trough of blood and guts, thus spilling it all over the street or courtyard. All characters within 60 feet must make a reflex save (DC 16) or fall over, wasting a free action. WEAPON SMITH’S: • Found weapons: actual weapons can be found here, in a variety of styles from the simple to the exotic. Also hot pokers, hot coals, and bellows. Very strong characters (those with 16+ strength) can use the anvils as thrown weapons. • You can thrust someone’s head into the fire. COOKING STALL: • Found weapons: daggers, bowls, plates, food. • Someone can get a face full of hot, scalding gruel. • Someone can be dunked in a cauldron of boiling water. CATTLE CORRAL: • Cows and bulls can be let loose. • Someone can be thrown into the path of a charging bull or fleeing cow. BEER SHOP: • The local tun-wives’ shop has several barrels of beer and ale. Some of the beer and ale barrels do not survive a fight scene. • Someone can roll barrels to bowl over opponents. • Someone can get their head dunked into a barrel of ale. MAGIC SHOP: Found weapons: Spell Components, ranging from sulphur to dragon parts, can actually be found here to quickly power spells. One can also find a variety of potions, magical oils, and prosaic magic charms. Someone can throw a philter of love at an opponent, making him fall in love with the first person he sees. Someone can use an oil of grease to make the fighting area slippery. Someone can take magic scrolls and cast spells one after another. OTHER SHOPS: • Tailor’s Shop: Roll out a bolt of cloth, wait for enemies to get on it, then yank it out from under them. • Farmer’s Market: Fruit and vegetables make handy weapons to throw at enemies. • Bordello: Fighting in a bordello makes bed sheets available as handy weapons, along with candlesticks and other implements. Courtesans and their clients are notoriously craven and will scatter into the street in various states of undress. Scene 2: The First Floor The first floor of the Temple of the Snake God can only be entered as soon as the mooks are dispatched. There the first of the masters, Tavain Blademistress, is waiting for them. The first floor is fifty square feet. The first floor of the temple is a large room, lit with fire burning in a few braziers. The room has thick shadows that flick and flee in the firelight. The room has an altar with two snake god idols between it, make of stone. The room has a few gargoyles that look like snake people lining the room. There are torch stands, green candles, books, and other religious paraphernalia scattered about the room. You see the room’s one occupant, an amazon, waiting for you. She is dressed provocatively in armor resembling a chain mail halter top and a high cut panty made of chain mail. She is wielding a wicked looking bastard sword. She stands between you and the stairs up on the far side. The scene begins with a stand off. Heroes should have a chance to parley with Tavain before the action begins. It begins when Tavain makes a threat on the PCs and makes the first move. She always sunders the weapons of her enemies before dispatching them (see above for her stats). Scene 3: The Second Floor The second floor is built smaller then the first floor, being only forty-seven feet square. The floor is still made of stone. The second floor has a stone floor, but it’s walls are made of flimsy rice paper, glass windows, and wooden frames. This room also has four braziers burning with flame. There are statues made of iron lining the walls of the floor. The ceiling is made of wood and you can hear footsteps above you. At the far side of the room is the stairs to the third floor. It appears that there is no one in the room. Heroes moving towards the stairs are in for a rude awakening. One of the iron statues, named Wararm, suddenly moves and attacks. Wararm attacks by boxing with his opponents or using swordplay; he is the master of the Bull’s Charge. His stats are above along with Tavain’s. Scene 4: The Third Floor The third floor is also smaller than the second, being only forty-three feet square. The floor has wooden panels. The third floor has wooden slats, and as you walk, you make a creaking sound. The walls are made of the same flimsy rice paper, and have stained glass windows with various scenes of snakes. Again, four braziers, this time made of copper, burn with fire in them. The ceiling is made of wood, but you can’t hear any foot steps. Again, at the far side of the room there is a flight of stairs. But this room, indeed, has a living guardian. He looks like a nomad wearing a loose cowl over the most of his face. The rest of his attire matches that of the Society of Shadows. He is sporting a rapier. This is Morgrave the Beheader. Again, the heroes should have a chance to parley. During the parley, they should learn that Morgrave is doing it for the money. After parley, the fight begins. Morgrave is the deadliest master they have met so far: he is the master of the Decapitating Slash. He can kill his opponents with a deadly vorpal strike. His stats are detailed above. Scene 5: The Fourth Floor Assuming that the players survived their encounter with Morgrave, the fourth floor is open to them. The fourth floor has a stone floor, and the walls are constructed strongly with wood. Again, stained glass windows bear the motif of the snake. This room is only thirty-eight feet square. You see a bed in the center of a circular depression. The whole room has subdued lighting provided by torches, and is furnished with opulence. Multicolored pillows, thin sheets of cloth, torches, and sheets and comforters with animal prints are arranged along the room. On the far side is, again, the stairs. Again, stained glass windows bear the motif of the snake, and the floor is made of stone. A drow woman slinks her way out of the middle, wearing hardly anything and looking very provocatively. She looks at you with puppy dog eyes, an exotic look, and in a pose that says: “Stay a while.” Could this be the fourth master? The player characters have entered the abode of Tanya the Enchantress. She is willing to parley more than fight. During the parley, one or more of the players should be the target of her Charm Person spells. If the player fails, she will turn that player against his fellows. If no one is charmed, she will try to seduce one of the PCs. If that fails, she will cast crushing despair and escape. Still, the heroes may get to the top, whether one of them is seduced or she is dispatched. Tanya isn’t a good combatant. Scene 6: The Fifth Floor The fifth floor is Spartan compared to the rest. And is much smaller: being only 35 feet square. This room has stone walls but large stained glass windows. You did it! You made it to the fifth floor. Looking around there is nothing but a flight of stairs in the middle. The room is boxed in by stone walls, and large stained glass windows with the snake as a motif. A girl, with white make-up thinly applied on her face and black lipstick, is rocking on a rocking chair. She is wearing a black, long robe and a black leather collar with steel spikes around it and a belt buckle in the front. When she sees you, she gets up and removes the black, long robe. You notice that she isn’t wearing anything under the robe. By some trick, a double-bladed sword appears in her hand. This must be the master of the unknown style. This is, indeed, the master of the unknown style. She doesn’t parley, but she will between exchanging blows. Heroes will notice that she attacks with purpose and reason. Everytime she wears you out, she will sit down on the rocking chair and rock the chair purposefully, preparing for the next round. Scene 7: The Unholy Place The final floor is the Unholy Place, and is the apex. The characters make it to the middle of the room. Stepping on the floor of the Unholy Place you notice that on the far side is a circular dais, is the platinum idol. Coiled around the dais is this giant serpent, which seems to be sleeping. Behind you, walking in with all the confidence in the world, is a sorcerer that seems to be very intelligent. This must be the Cult Leader. This is, indeed, the cult leader. He speaks, introducing himself. THAST Welcome! I see that you made it past my guards. Well done. I never would have foreseen that you have made it this far. I am Leonippas Ethan Thast, Master of the Cult of the Serpent, at your service. If the player characters parley with Thast, they learn that he set the whole thing up. He set up the Cult of the Snake God, he set up Platfinger, he set up his guards, and he set the players up. All for the purpose of his amusement, Thast is a sick guy. Now is the time for the grandiose explanation, as is the right of all Super Villains. Allow for a farewell speech, then Thast will wake up the elder serpent for the PCs to deal with and then leave, taking the platinum idol with him. The PCs have to deal with the elder serpent. THE ELDER SERPENT Gargantuan Animal CR: 9 Hit Dice: 22d8+76 (175 hp) Initiative: +17 Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), climb 20 ft., swim 20 ft. Armor Class: 13 (-4 size, +3 Dex, +4 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 10 Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+23 Attack: Bite +13 melee (1d8+10) Full Attack: Bite +13 melee (1d8+10) Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft. Special Attacks: Constrict 1d8+10, improved grab Special Qualities: Scent Saves: Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +4 Abilities: Str 33, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 2 Skills: Balance +11, Climb +22, Hide +14, Listen +9, Spot +9, Swim +16 Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Skill Focus (Hide), Toughness Optional Scene: Chasing after Thast Thast has escaped, and characters that have fled the Elder Serpent or dispatched it may chase after Thast to retrieve the snake god idol. The chase should go into the Naughty Changeling Inn. THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN IN THE NAUGHTY CHANGELING INN • Edwina: Edwina is one of the best bellydancers in Breland, and she is belly-dancing to the locals. She will try to attract the PC’s attention. Anyone who is staring at Edwina for ten minutes must make a Will Save (Men DC 19, Women DC 16) or faint in a swoon (i.e. act as stunned) for 10 rounds (Edwina’s perform (Bellydance) +16). • Dancing Girls’ Rooms: Thast slips into one of the Dancing Girl’s rooms. He is nestled among the linens and silks of the room. The girl acts as if she doesn’t know anything. Once captured, Thast is a coward and will give up the Idol. Player characters then can decide what to do with him. However, eventually, he does slip out of the PCs’ grasp and head somewhere else out of the PCs reach. After that, the Idol can be returned to Platfinger and the PCs will receive their due reward. Fade Out: Denouement Continuing or Concluding the Adventure Thast Thast has escaped in spy fashion and can be a reoccurring villain in your campaign. The use of a super villain like Thast should be rare at best. Eventually, your heroes should be able to defeat Thast. Platfinger After dealing with Platfinger, his association with the PCs formally dissolves and the PCs are free to venture on their own. If the PCs fail, Platfinger does not reward them and may try to eliminate them. If the PCs do succeed, they receive their promised reward. Platfinger may also return later in the campaign as an enemy, ally, or neutral. New Cyre New Cyre has much to promise traveling “barbarians.” The campaign might continue as an Urban Campaign in New Cyre for a while; as New Cyre has much adventure within its walls. Scenarios dealing with corruption, intrigue, crime, and dungeon crawling are all possible within New Cyre. What happens if the PCs Fail? Thast wins the bet against Platfinger, and his Snake Cult flourishes with a center in New Cyre. Platfinger doesn’t reward those who fail, so he may kill any kidnapped significant others; further slanderizes the reputation of the Flamists; or withdraws his support from Morgrave University. Additions to Eberron NEW DIETY: The Snake God This deity, called the Snake God, is actually an aspect of the Mockery. People who worship the Snake God claim that he takes the form of a giant snake. The Snake God’s portfolios are Beguilement, Intrigue, and Terror. The roll call of worshipers of the Snake God includes Yaun-ti and ophiuci as well as humans, fighters, evil aristocrats, and rogues. His domains are Evil, Madness, Nobility, and Trickery and the snake’s tail (whip) is his weapon of choice. NEW RACE: Amazons The Amazons of Eberron exists as tribes in the deepest jungles, forests, and trackless swamps of Khorvaire and in some cases, Aerenal and Xen’Drik. The Eberronese Amazon doesn’t just belong to a race; it’s a way of life and a philosophy of gender roles. In Eberron, Amazon tribes are composed entirely or a combination of female shifters, drow, changelings, yaun-ti, half-orcs, hobgoblins, Halflings, and orcs as well as humans. Kalashtar are very rarely attracted to the philosophy and gender bias most Amazon tribes represent. The elves of Aerenal are too connected to the Undying, and the Valenar Elves are too patriarchial find the Amazon way attractive. Breland Amazons: Breland Amazons live in the forests outside Torch Keep and Shadowlock Keep. They are an autonomous group, living separately in small villages under the nose of the king. They are sometimes found in Drooam and the Shadow Marches as well. These Amazons are women who fight significantly against their foes. They do not, for instance, mutilate their breasts in order to draw back a bow. One of their customs, however, is that before an Amazon can become a bride they must defeat a foe in combat. Adapting the Adventure So, you don’t have the Expanded Psionics Handbook and/or do not want to download the wuxia rules from Atlas Games’ website, and/or do not have Eberron. But you want to run this adventure. And you aren’t too thrilled about a total player kill. Well, lets see . . . The Temple of the Snake God is based on an event that can happen in any campaign. Just drop the cultists in your campaign and have at it. The only Eberron specific creatures are the warforged and the changling enchantress. You can replace the warforged with a watered down iron golem, and the enchantress can be an actual drow woman. Mooks and Thugs: This requires Wuxia Combat rules to handle successfully, as the mooks are designed to be wailed on by the PCs with very little effort. Otherwise, you will have a total player kill. You can replace the entire faceless horde with kobolds or goblins from the monstrous manual. Cranium rats or moon mice would also be interesting, but they are in the Fiend Folio. The Mysterious Master: The mysterious master can be made into a fighter 4/monk 4. Just describe her attacks in an entertaining way in the tradition of wuxia movies. Unearthed Arcana Notes: Many stats take advantage of Unearthed Arcana. The Weapon Group feats offer a variant for Weapon Proficiency feats, allowing for more character customization. Also, Thast has a red dragon bloodline. You can remove these at your leisure, replacing them with the standard weapon proficiency feats. About the Author Elton John Robb is currently living in West Valley City, Utah washing dishes for the Singing Cricket and is pursuing the rest of his Martial Arts training so that he can be an assistant martial arts instructor. He’s been a fan of Dungeons and Dragons for years, and thinks he is partly responsible for the Open Game License. He hopes to go to the New York Film Academy to learn how to make films in a year. He really enjoys writing adventures more than writing the occasional sourcebook, but he has a contract with Guardians of Order to produce a Campaign Setting based on Atlantis. OPEN GAME LICENSE Version 1.0a The following text is the property of Wizards of the Coast, Inc. and is Copyright 2000 Wizards of the Coast, Inc ("Wizards"). All Rights Reserved. 1. Definitions: 1. "Contributors" means the copyright and/or trademark owners who have contributed Open Game Content; 2. 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TheShark(tm) 08-31-05, 02:52 PM	:mymy: Back up one second... There's a Temple to the Snake God in New Cyre? :mymy: Where? :thinks: How? :thinks: Hehe.. I like it except I'm not sure I see it happening in New Cyre. ((not that I'm any sort of expert by any stretch of the imagination)) Move it to Q'barra or Droam or Xendrik and I think it's perfectly fitting. New Cyre is just flat out too small and new for a (decently elaborate) temple and cult to spring into place. Just my two coppers. ;) PS - you live in West Valley?
Sir Elton 08-31-05, 03:41 PM	I dipped my hand in to my imaginary hat and New Cyre was the winner. But that's one of the best things about Roleplaying Games. You can do completely illogical things and they are still valid. Yes, I live in West Valley.
Sir Elton 09-15-05, 12:34 AM	What the heck. :bump:
MarkB 09-15-05, 04:27 AM	I dipped my hand in to my imaginary hat and New Cyre was the winner. But that's one of the best things about Roleplaying Games. You can do completely illogical things and they are still valid. Well, not really. Internal consistency is always important. It looks like a good adventure, but I have to agree - a huge temple of snake-cultists in New Cyre just seems off. Find the right setting for it, and it'll work well.
Tek 09-15-05, 04:51 AM	Droam I've NEVER met ANYONE who spelled it right, as Droaam, the first time they've tried! Arghh! </petpeeve>
polt 09-15-05, 05:00 AM	I'll join. Picking a city out of a hat isn't the way to find a city for an adventure. I doesn't make sense. BTW, if you want it puplished, this is not the way. Try to contact Dungeon or Dragon magazine.
Sir Elton 09-15-05, 09:07 AM	Look very closely at the Format. It resembles a Screenplay. I'd have to change it utterly for it to be published by Dungeon.
Sir Elton 09-15-05, 09:08 AM	I've NEVER met ANYONE who spelled it right, as Droaam, the first time they've tried! Arghh! </petpeeve> DROAAM! :D
Sereno 09-15-05, 09:46 AM	I'm assuming you posted this for some constructive criticism. Couple of points: (as already mentioned) Were-snakes and snake-god temples in new Cyre? Not likely. Q'Barra (and maybe lizard/dragonish-god instead of snake-god) or Droaam would be better. I like the NPCs, they're well-statted and thought-out. Except for the "beheader guy", beheading with a rapier is nearly impossible, pick a better slashing weapon like a scimitar. Though, why they're working together could be better described (or maybe I just missed it). Personally, I don't like the scene-by-scene approach. In most cases where I've tried to run adventures like this they seem too railroading. What if the PCs don't follow scene-to-scene; in this case, what if they don't want to go UP through the temple but instead want to climb it and come back DOWN? In my own adventures I try to have both positional (location-based) encounters and temporal (time-based) encounters so things continue to happen even if the PCs don't go where I wanted them. And one question about the list of stunts for each area. Are they intended as a guide for the DM? For the NPCs? My only problem with things like this is that you've constantly got to be coming up with stats for all of the improvised weapons. What's the damage for being in the path of a stampeding cow? How much damage does a thrown pig carcass cause? What's the DC to dodge a rolling ale cask? I understand that you're going for the Hong-Kong-action-movie-Jackie-Chan-fighting-with-anything-he-can-get-his-hands-on effect, here, but most PCs are going to stick to their best weapons and that leaves the DM to make use of all the set pieces with their inherent difficulties. I do think you got some *good* ideas going on, here. But, you need to do a little more work to make it a good fit for Eberron, at least if you want it published by Dungeon. Check out Keith's "Fallen Angel" for a really good example of work published in Dungeon. If you could work out a combination between the more traditional-style and your cinematic-style, I think you'd be on to something *big*.
polt 09-15-05, 10:32 AM	Look very closely at the Format. It resembles a Screenplay. I'd have to change it utterly for it to be published by Dungeon. Well, and? If you want to get something puplished, you have to work for it :)
AlDaRoN Arg 09-15-05, 02:23 PM	I found some minor bugs Male human (Red Dragon Bloodline, minor) 1/Sorcerer 5 why 7d4 hit dice? AL: CG How can he be a supervillian? Female Human (Amazon) Fighter 8 Hit Points: 98 (10d10+30) Should be 8d10+24 AC: 13 (+2 chain mail and halter, +1 dex), touch 11, flatfooted 12 Is this right? Normal chainmail gives you 5 AC and her speed should be 20f And every NPC seem to have the hit dice worong somehow, like the Rogue 3/Fighter 4/Assassin 1 his HD should be 3d6-3 + 4d10-4 + 1d6-1
Sereno 09-15-05, 02:36 PM	I found some minor bugs Male human (Red Dragon Bloodline, minor) 1/Sorcerer 5 why 7d4 hit dice? AL: CG How can he be a supervillian? It's Eberron! :)
pilias_simber 09-15-05, 02:52 PM	I dipped my hand in to my imaginary hat and New Cyre was the winner. But that's one of the best things about Roleplaying Games. You can do completely illogical things and they are still valid. Yes, I live in West Valley. You're talking about West Valley in SLC right? I am also from SLC...
AlDaRoN Arg 09-15-05, 03:12 PM	It's Eberron! :) No, even in Eberron if a Good character does evil intentionally his alignment changes to evil.
Sir Elton 09-15-05, 03:25 PM	Well, and? If you want to get something puplished, you have to work for it :) I don't have too. When I work on something, I do things that is unconventional for a reason. I'm working on the best Eberron Adventure Path. Ever. :) It's a T.V. Series campaign. And the subject is all about Eberron. It doesn't focus on an event, on the characters, or even on an idea. It focuses on Eberron itself. :)
polt 09-15-05, 03:30 PM	I'm working on the best Eberron Adventure Path. Ever. Yeah, me2. Just learn to think a little more on where to place your temples ;)
DragonWatcher 09-15-05, 04:08 PM	I don't have too. When I work on something, I do things that is unconventional for a reason. Just a thought... if you want to do something unconventionally, and not conform to the specs given for having something published. Then you really shouldn't be suprised when it gets rejected multiple times.
polt 09-15-05, 04:14 PM	I don't have too. When I work on something, I do things that is unconventional for a reason. By the way. I don't think it's unconventional, it's just like. The world is made a way for a reason, and most things in eberron makes a lot of sense. But the effect with the New Cyre thing wasn't "OMG, you can't do that. That's really breaking the norm. That's so cool!" It was more like "Damn, this guy have no idea about how things work in Eberron. He just picked the first setting he saw".
Sir Elton 09-15-05, 04:22 PM	I'm assuming you posted this for some constructive criticism. You assumed wrong. It's posted for you to use in your campaign. I didn't post it for constructive criticism. And one question about the list of stunts for each area. Are they intended as a guide for the DM? For the NPCs? My only problem with things like this is that you've constantly got to be coming up with stats for all of the improvised weapons. What's the damage for being in the path of a stampeding cow? How much damage does a thrown pig carcass cause? What's the DC to dodge a rolling ale cask? I understand that you're going for the Hong-Kong-action-movie-Jackie-Chan-fighting-with-anything-he-can-get-his-hands-on effect, here, but most PCs are going to stick to their best weapons and that leaves the DM to make use of all the set pieces with their inherent difficulties. Tell me, do you have the OGL Roleplaying Game, "Iron Heroes" or did you even follow the link to Atlas Games' Wuxia rules? IF you don't, I suggest you download the Atlas Games' Wuxia rules, or buy Mike Mearles' "Iron Heroes" PDF from drive thru. D&D lacks these rules, so I have to use OGL content to pick up the slack. As an aside, about the DC thing? This is a mechanic in "Mastering Iron Heroes" called Zones. However, since Chapter 9 of Iron Heroes isn't fully Open Content, I have to assume that the Zones mechanic isn't OGC either. Developing DCs for these things would be getting into Zones territory (which I am not sure is entirely OGC). The idea behind a stunt is whole body agility. You use your whole body to perform a certain action. Some examples of stunts are wizard spell casting, water skiiing barefoot, dancing -- dances like the Rhumba, the Tango, the Paso Doble are all stunts because they involve your entire body. The rules for the Thematic Elements are suggestions on how things can go for a particular fight. Assuming that the players will only stand still and fight in a fight like this is assuming that your players don't have any creative intelligence. Especially after you show them the rules for Wuxia Combat that Robin D. Laws developed, or showed them the rules in "Iron Heroes." Like for instance, I find it boring when players say "I try to hit the mind flayer" or "I strike at the goblin." I wouldn't award any XP for such a boring description of a fight. :bored: However, what if he described it as a stunt? "I run across the ledge, and then jump on the mindflayer's legs, using my momentum to land a blow to his tentacled head!" Or, if he was dancing: "I dance with my partner the Rhumba, the dance of love. I hold her close, dancing with my partner to show how precious she is to me; I swing her out because she tore out my heart; and I swing her back to take it back. I then drop her on the floor, with all the bonfire passion that rages in my heart!" Wouldn't that be worth any XP? OH YES!!! :w00t: I do think you got some *good* ideas going on, here. But, you need to do a little more work to make it a good fit for Eberron, at least if you want it published by Dungeon. Check out Keith's "Fallen Angel" for a really good example of work published in Dungeon. If you could work out a combination between the more traditional-style and your cinematic-style, I think you'd be on to something *big*. I'm trying out such an amalgamation right now. :)
Tek 09-15-05, 04:26 PM	You assumed wrong. It's posted for you to use in your campaign. I didn't post it for constructive criticism. You should -ALWAYS- take constructive criticism.
Sir Elton 09-15-05, 04:27 PM	By the way. I don't think it's unconventional, it's just like. The world is made a way for a reason, and most things in eberron makes a lot of sense. But the effect with the New Cyre thing wasn't "OMG, you can't do that. That's really breaking the norm. That's so cool!" It was more like "Damn, this guy have no idea about how things work in Eberron. He just picked the first setting he saw". That wasn't very nice.
polt 09-15-05, 04:30 PM	That wasn't very nice. Sorry :P Didn't mean to offend you. I just wanted to tell you the impression that I got. Especially when you say you just randomly picked New Cyre up from your imaginary hat. When I make adventures, I usally think a lot about where to place my adventures. And what that means.
Sir Elton 09-15-05, 05:04 PM	Sorry :P Didn't mean to offend you. I just wanted to tell you the impression that I got. Especially when you say you just randomly picked New Cyre up from your imaginary hat. When I make adventures, I usally think a lot about where to place my adventures. And what that means. Listen well, and listen good, Polt. When you buy Eberron, it's *YOURS!* Do you understand what that means? You own Eberron. It's your Eberron, it's nobody else's. So, this means that you can do anything you want with it. Nobody's going to jail if somebody puts a snake temple in New Cyre; or in the Mournlands, or in Xen'drik. No body is going to be angry with you if you split House Cannith three ways from Sunday, and they didn't. That's because everyone else has their own Eberron. Their own vision for their campaign. I don't know how many copies of Eberron that Wizards' sold, but as far as I'm concerned, the only one that has a right to criticize my adventure's setting that I posted here is Keith (that's because I had no intention of submitting it to Dungeon). This is because Keith's Eberron is the only "pure" Eberron. Everyone else's is radically different from the Eberron he originally envisioned. If I had submitted it to Dungeon, I would consider changing the temple's setting to Xen'drik, or the Shadow Marches; based on what they decided. But since I posted it here, it's considered to be Unofficially Official. So, Keith is the only one that has the right to tell me where it is wrong settingally. By telling me that I made a mistake with the setting, you made the mistake of assuming everyone's Eberron is exactly the way that Wizards published it. This is untrue. Their are an uncountable number of different Eberrons all across the world. Each DM is running their Eberron the way they see fit. They make "minor" or "major" changes here and there to the World of Eberron, but it doesn't matter. It is *THEIRS.* Even though the adventure has a serpent god's temple located in New Cyre, I won't be angry with you if you move it somewhere more logical for you. After all, that is your imperative as DM. To adjust the adventure for your group in any way you see fit.
polt 09-15-05, 05:09 PM	I know, and I'm all for that. BUT, I think eberron has a certain feel too it. And when you post something, even if you say you don't want it, I'm gonna tell you what I think about it. And I know it is your Eberron, and you may also have changed Vol into a male god of nature and made Breland a nation made of cheese. I just don't think a serpent temple in New Cyre makes any sense at all. You posted, I told you what I thought. If you don't want comments on your work, it's a bad idea to post it on a discussion board.
Tek 09-15-05, 05:41 PM	I'm with polt on this one. You posted this adventure on a forum that alot of people read. If you don't want people to tell you what they think of it, or don't want any criticsm from it, don't post it at all. I see you've become hostile because alot of people don't think New Cyre is the place for this adventure, and I'm with them. You've also seemed to have messed up alot of the hit dice for the characters, as stated by another post, and that just isn't going to work. If you want people to play your adventure in -THEIR- Eberron, as you put it so perfectly, then you shouldn't make an adventure that only works in -YOUR- Eberron. Maybe there is a huge temple to the snake god in New Cyre in your Eberron where you draw city names out of a hat, but in alot of other people's Eberron (and it also fits into the sense of Canon Eberron), this huge temple just doesn't work. And now, when people say that they don't think it would work, you get hostile and tell them to "Listen well and Listen good" and that everyone's Eberron is apparently insanely different. That's a fine and dandy point, except in the situation you've put yourself in. You've posted an adventure that doesn't work with the normal canon of New Cyre. You've put the temple in that city, and yes, we could aswell, but guess what? To a majority of Eberron players, it's not going to 'feel' right. Why? Because you adapted the adventure for a specific Eberron game. Yours. In closing, I return to my original point of, if you don't want people to comment on stuff you post on the INTERNET, then DON'T post it.
nfras 09-15-05, 07:50 PM	Ok, first off, this is not a personal attack, don't take it as such. It is a critique on what you have presented. I know you put it up for people to use, but this is a discussion board, and as a wannabe writer/designer, feedback and criticism should be your best friend. Plot - nonexistant. Dungeon bash with a chase at the end NPCs - Bad guys are fairly well though out but with problems. None of them are more than a bunch of stats. There is no life to them. They have no motivation other than to be met and fought. The main bad guy actually wanted adventurers to "come and have a go if they think they're hard enough"? Setting - poorly used. New Cyre is not much more than a refugee shanty town. For someone to build a temple to a Snake-God in the middle of it is going to cause a hell of a lot of unwanted attention. Feels like it has been jammed in from another setting. Q'barra or Xendrik would be the logical choices. Overall 3/10. There's nothing new to this. It would struggle to be an RPGA module. It is nothing more than a fight which has been badly adapted to fit into Eberron. It's a harsh criticism, but to be honest, if I bought this as a published adventure, I would take it back to the shop and demand my money back, and probably never buy anything from the same publisher again.
Tek 09-15-05, 08:20 PM	I'd also like the mention the whole.. "Her flesh colored body suit gives her some edge in combat, distracting her enemies, a +2 circumstance bonus on all rolls." thing is a bit... :rolleyes:
Kaleanae en'i Mori 09-15-05, 10:40 PM	Interesting but I'm with the majority here. New Cyre is not the place for this. It may be fine for your version of Eberron and thats fine, but not suitable for the majority. As you stated your Eberron is yours and this is written for yours, not ours. "You assumed wrong. It's posted for you to use in your campaign. I didn't post it for constructive criticism." Why would any of us use this in our campaign in the current setting. Snake God in New Cyre? nah..... Maybe the Cult of the Dragon Below underneath New Cyre? perhaps.... You post on here and you can expect it to get dissected.
Sereno 09-16-05, 09:11 AM	You assumed wrong. It's posted for you to use in your campaign. I didn't post it for constructive criticism. Well, after the way you've been complaining that no one would publish it, I got the impression that you were asking for opinions. My bad. However, as this is a public formum, anything that gets posted is likely to be replied to and commented on. Tell me, do you have the OGL Roleplaying Game, "Iron Heroes" or did you even follow the link to Atlas Games' Wuxia rules? IF you don't, I suggest you download the Atlas Games' Wuxia rules, or buy Mike Mearles' "Iron Heroes" PDF from drive thru. D&D lacks these rules, so I have to use OGL content to pick up the slack. Nope. I've already got too many rules to deal with just using Core and Eberron material to get involved in someone else's add-on system. Though I do like Jackie Chan movies, I'm not a huge fan of the genre and I don't want my Eberron campaign to feel like that. Like for instance, I find it boring when players say "I try to hit the mind flayer" or "I strike at the goblin." I wouldn't award any XP for such a boring description of a fight. :bored: However, what if he described it as a stunt? "I run across the ledge, and then jump on the mindflayer's legs, using my momentum to land a blow to his tentacled head!" Or, if he was dancing: "I dance with my partner the Rhumba, the dance of love. I hold her close, dancing with my partner to show how precious she is to me; I swing her out because she tore out my heart; and I swing her back to take it back. I then drop her on the floor, with all the bonfire passion that rages in my heart!" I agree, combat *should* be more than "I hit" or "the mind flayer misses" ... but I try to incorporate as much of that as I can without adding even more rules to what is already a fairly complicated system. I currently keep a hyperlinked version of both the PBH and DMG on my Palm Pilot to be able to look up rules quickly. Typically, we just use the dice results as a indication of what happens and describe it off that. Also, I do encourage my players to take risks in battle; use the scenery to their advantage, and try to have the bad guys do the same. I just don't need a whole new set of rules.
Sir Elton 09-16-05, 01:20 PM	Typically, we just use the dice results as a indication of what happens and describe it off that. Also, I do encourage my players to take risks in battle; use the scenery to their advantage, and try to have the bad guys do the same. I just don't need a whole new set of rules. Sereno, all you have to add is one rule, and you're set. STUNTS A stunt is an action in combat, or outside of combat, that falls outside the normal bounds of the rules. Stunts involve the whole agility of the body. The stunts cover everything else. These rules are a tool to help you come up with imaginative, clever, and exciting actions in combat. If you can imagine it, the stunt rules allow you to attempt it. You might throw a fistful of sand in an opponent’s face to blind him, run along the narrow top of a wall to maneuver around a foe, or crack open a keg of beer to send a stream of liquid into an opponent’s face. Stunts reward you for coming up with interesting and visually engaging actions in combat. STUNT MECHANICS The mechanics behind a stunt are relatively simple. When you attempt a stunt, first you pick out the effect you want to create. The following sections list several different possible results for a stunt, broken down into three categories: offensive stunts, defensive stunts, and maneuver stunts. Next you describe the stunt. How do you attempt it? Do you use the terrain and combat situation to your advantage? What do you expect to happen if the stunt succeeds? Think of the game as if it were a movie, and describe the scene as you put the stunt into action. As part of this step, you must choose the mechanical effect you want to gain from the stunt. For example, the inflict penalty offensive stunt allows you to force an opponent to take a penalty to his defense or attacks. When you attempt the stunt, you announce the total penalty you wish to inflict. A small penalty calls for a much lower Difficulty Class than a higher one. In the case of an opposed check, seeking more powerful effects forces you to accept a penalty to your check. The DM then picks one or more skills for you to use for the stunt. You make this “stunt check” against a Difficulty Class chosen by the DM or one determined by the effect you are seeking. Some stunts allow one of your opponents, such as the target of an offensive stunt, to make a skill, ability, or base attack check to foil your stunt. If the stunt check succeeds, you gain its benefits or your foe suffers its effects. STUNTS AND ACTIONS Listed next to the name of each stunt is the action required to complete it. Most stunts require a standard action to complete, but a few qualify as attack actions. The attack action stunts require either a standard attack or a full attack action. STUNTS AND SKILLS The DM chooses the skill you must use to complete a stunt and the skill your target uses to oppose your efforts, if applicable. He can also decide to replace a skill check with a base attack/defense check or an ability check. Each of the stunt types includes a short list of skills that are a good match for its effects. While the DM can choose any skill he wants, he should pick one that makes logical sense based on your description of the stunt. Remember, though, that the DM has final say on how a stunt works. When you announce a stunt, you can choose to cancel it and use a different action if you do not agree with the skill the DM decides to use. Never argue with the DM on this point. Wait until the game session is done if you have any concerns. For DMs, remember that the players trust you to make fair, impartial decisions. Don’t pick skills simply to penalize the players or make stunts more difficult than normal. By the same token, be consistent when the NPCs attempt stunts. If you consistently force the PCs to make illogical skill checks to defend against stunts, particularly if you choose skills that they have few ranks in, the players will quickly become frustrated with your game. OFFENSIVE STUNTS There are three types of offensive stunt. All of them count as attack actions. ATTACK STUNT (FULL ATTACK) You use a full attack action to combine a stunt with an attack. Usually this stunt check requires you to make an acrobatic maneuver as you deliver an attack or somehow use the environment to improve your attack’s potency. The target of this stunt makes a skill or base attack check opposed by your own check. You gain either a +1 bonus to your attack or a +2 bonus to damage. You can increase either of these bonuses, with no maximum limit, in return for a –2 penalty to your stunt check for each point of increase. You cannot gain both a bonus to an attack and a bonus to damage. You must choose one or the other. You enjoy this bonus until the end of your action against the foe who opposed your stunt check. Failure: If this stunt fails, you attack without the bonus to your attack or damage. Special: If you use Climb, Jump, or Tumble with an attack stunt, you may move up to half your speed as part of this stunt action. For example, if you use Climb to scramble up a wall and then, in the next round, jump down, sword first, to impale a monster, you could move half your speed following the attack to represent you rolling away from the beast or bouncing off it after the strike. This movement does not draw an attack of opportunity from the stunt’s target if the stunt succeeds. It draws attacks of opportunity from other creatures as normal, regardless of success or failure. Fast Stunt: At higher levels, you might want to use a stunt to improve your attacks while still gaining a full attack action. In this case, you can attempt a stunt as a free action. You cannot move as part of the stunt (as described under “Special,” above), and you suffer a –5 penalty to your stunt check. If you fail the stunt check, you suffer a –2 penalty to your attacks as your stratagem fails to trick your foe. Otherwise, use the standard rules given above. Examples: Use the Jump skill to leap over a foe and attack him from above. Use Balance to run along a giant’s club and slash at its arms. Use Tumble to dodge between an ogre’s legs while slashing at it from behind. DISRUPTING ATTACK (FULL ATTACK) You fire an arrow into a dragon’s maw, leaving it unable to breathe fire for a short time. You splash ink onto a basilisk’s face, nullifying the effect of its gaze to turn your friends into stone. These are example of disrupting attack stunts. The disrupting attack stunt works a bit differently from the other offensive stunts. You must bid on the Fortitude save DC your target must beat to continue using a supernatural ability or an extraordinary ability. Once you pick the DC, you then must make a skill check with a DC equal to the chosen save DC + 10. If you succeed, your foe loses the use of the attack mode of your choice for 1 round. If the creature randomly determines how often it can use an ability, increase the time it must wait by 1 round. For example, a dragon might be able to breathe once every 1d4 rounds. If you successfully used this stunt against it, it would have to wait 1 extra round before breathing again. Failure: If this stunt fails, the creature continues to use its special ability as normal. Special: If you use a base attack check to complete this stunt, you inflict your attack’s damage without any bonuses. In this case, you trade brute force for accuracy and precision. If you use an improvised weapon, you do not gain this benefit. Examples: Use a base attack check to injure a creature’s eyes, preventing it from using a deadly gaze. Use a Spot check to target a gorgon’s throat before firing so that your arrow disrupts its breath weapon. INFLICT PENALTY (STANDARD ATTACK) You attempt to inflict a penalty to an opponent’s attacks, defense, or skill and ability checks (your choice). You throw sand in his eyes to disrupt him, tangle him up with a length of rope, or otherwise confuse his efforts. Your foe opposes your check using the same skill or ability, or with a base attack check. (The target chooses one of the two.) You inflict a base –2 penalty for 1 round. You can increase the duration by 1 round and/or the penalty by –1 by accepting a –2 penalty to your check. There is no limit to the total penalty or duration. Failure: If your stunt fails, the target suffers none of the penalties you attempted to inflict. Examples: Use a base attack check to throw sand in an ogre’s eye. Use Bluff to trick an opponent into letting his guard down for a moment. Use a base attack check to slam your shield into a foe, knocking him off balance. Use the Use Rope skill to lasso a foe and hinder him for a few moments. DEFENSIVE STUNTS The defensive stunts all count as move actions. Most of them provide a benefit to you if you complete them on your turn. DEFENSE BONUS (MOVE ACTION) You use a combination of the terrain and your abilities to improve your defense against a single opponent. Your stunt check is a skill or base attack check opposed by your foe’s check. If you succeed, you gain an active bonus to defense. You gain a +2 active bonus to defense if you succeed at this stunt. You can increase this bonus by +1 in exchange for a –2 penalty to your check, with no limit on the bonus you bid on. This bonus lasts until the start of your next action. Failure: If this stunt fails, your opponent gains a +1 bonus on attacks against you until the start of your next action. Examples: Use Bluff to trick an opponent into thinking you dodge left when you break to the right. Use Jump to leap into the air and over an opponent’s attack. Use Sense Motive to see where an opponent aims his attack. Use Tumble to dodge around the statue that stands behind you. SAVE BONUS (MOVE ACTION) You take action to foil an opponent’s special attacks. Maybe you cut your thumb on your knife, using the pain to throw off a witch’s charm. Or perhaps you hold your breath rather than breathe in poisonous fumes. You must make a skill or ability check as your stunt check. You gain a +2 bonus to one type of save against a single effect or opponent of your choice with a DC 20 check. You increase this bonus by +1 for every 5 points you increase the Difficulty Class, with no limit on the bonus you can gain. This bonus lasts until the start of your next action. Failure: You suffer no special drawbacks if this stunt fails. Special: Unlike other stunts, the save bonus places limits on the skills and abilities you can use to gain its benefits. To gain a bonus to Reflex saves, you must use a Dexterity or Dexterity-based skill check as your stunt check. For Will saves, use a Wisdom or Wisdom-based skill check. For Fortitude saves, use a Constitution or Constitution-based skill (in other words, Concentration) check. Examples: Use Concentration to ignore a poison’s crippling effects. Use Tumble to dodge a lightning bolt. Use Sense Motive to resist a medusa’s attempt to ensorcel you. MANEUVER STUNTS The single maneuver stunt makes it easier for you to move across the battlefield. IMPROVED SPEED (SPECIAL ACTION) You spring off a wall, swing along a length of rope, or use a steep slope to increase your speed. You may make a skill check (DC 20) to gain a +1 square bonus to your speed for the round. You can increase your speed bonus by +1 in return for a +5 modifier to the DC. You cannot increase your speed by more than double in this manner. You make this check as part of your movement, and the bonus applies only to your current move or standard action used to move. You can use this stunt once per round. Failure: On a failed check, reduce your speed by the amount you attempted to increase it. Special: You can only use skills based on Strength or Dexterity, or those two abilities, to attempt this stunt. Examples: Use Balance to sprint down a slope. Use Tumble to roll across a slippery bridge. Use the Use Rope skill to swing across a ship’s rigging. Note: under these stunt rules, perform (dance) would be dex based. Though I do like Jackie Chan movies, I'm not a huge fan of the genre and I don't want my Eberron campaign to feel like that. :uh-huh: Wait a minute. You don't want your Eberron campaign to feel like a classic action movie, but you commented on my adventure. Why? :confused: When I read comments on my adventure, I assume that everyone wants to use it. When they criticize my adventures (or the way they are set, which is also :confused: ) I assume that there is some interest there. If you are not interested, why comment? I'm not twisting your arm to actually run the adventure. I just offered it for free for anyone to run. If you wanted to make me a better writer, you could have just PMed or emailed me about it. Why comment on something you are not going to run anyway? Editorializing a free adventure published for free on a public board is really, really bad form. Unless all of you just want to look good in front of all your friends. Next time I publish something for free and all of you want to editorialize it, you can click on my name and send me a PM or email me about it. 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AntiSean 09-16-05, 01:54 PM	Editorializing a free adventure published for free on a public board is really, really bad form. I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on this one. If someone posted excerpts of a private conversation they had with you, that would be bad form. How can commenting publicly on a discussion that is open to all be bad form? There can't be a discussion without any comments. Next time I publish something for free and all of you want to editorialize it, you can click on my name and send me a PM or email me about it. If that's how you feel, the next time you publish something and want to share it, you should probably post a link to your content, and explicitly state that PMs and emails are your preferred feedback method. Nothing in your original post, as far as I can see, made the reader aware of your feelings in that regard. AFAICT, no one in this thread has been (so far, at least) malicious or rude in their responses to you. It just seems that there is a difference in expectations regarding commentary and discussion between you and most of the other posters in this thread. It's great that you've created something, and even better that you want to share it with others. There are as many opinions here or more as their are posters, and they're not ever going to all be in lockstep agreement. Any and all of those opinions have a right to be expressed, as long as they are done in an appropriate and respectful manner. IMHO, that has been the case thus far. I know it can be hard, especially with a creation that you've worked hard on and are proud of, but try not to take the discussion so personally - I don't think that was anyones intent. (sorry if that rambled a bit, posting and eating lunch aren't always a great mix) :)
Sir Elton 09-16-05, 02:34 PM	I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on this one. If someone posted excerpts of a private conversation they had with you, that would be bad form. How can commenting publicly on a discussion that is open to all be bad form? There can't be a discussion without any comments. If that's how you feel, the next time you publish something and want to share it, you should probably post a link to your content, and explicitly state that PMs and emails are your preferred feedback method. Nothing in your original post, as far as I can see, made the reader aware of your feelings in that regard. AFAICT, no one in this thread has been (so far, at least) malicious or rude in their responses to you. It just seems that there is a difference in expectations regarding commentary and discussion between you and most of the other posters in this thread. It's great that you've created something, and even better that you want to share it with others. There are as many opinions here or more as their are posters, and they're not ever going to all be in lockstep agreement. Any and all of those opinions have a right to be expressed, as long as they are done in an appropriate and respectful manner. IMHO, that has been the case thus far. I know it can be hard, especially with a creation that you've worked hard on and are proud of, but try not to take the discussion so personally - I don't think that was anyones intent. (sorry if that rambled a bit, posting and eating lunch aren't always a great mix) :) Dude, I have a hard time taking any kind of commentary on anything I worked on as anything but personal. Especially if it's over something so nonsensical as a work's "setting." You see, that adventure I worked on and published right here was totally based on the themes of the Bruce Lee movie "The Game of Death." I managed to see the last few minutes of footage of that movie and I was inspired to write an adventure around it. So I wrote it up for the Wilderlands using the Conan the Barbarian rules set, using some ideas I got from James Bond movies. And true to life to Howards' style of writing, I knocked out the character development scenes and went straight to the action, figuring that the players and the DM are highly intelligent and highly creative enough to fill in the holes themselves. That's why it takes place in a temple. That's why the villain is a walk-on, vanilla villain. The character development is carried by the character hooks each player would think of. So I worked on it for a week, spending a good part of one day preparing the adventure for Eberron (and the D&D game) just in case. Well, JUST IN CASE did happen. I posted it. And everything I got was a complaint, and it felt nervewracking. You see, we writers are not Gods; we can't conjure up a perfect adventure for everyone to play from our own souls. We are real people with the same real world concerns begging for our attention. Just as you have to worry get a date, or take care of a baby, or wonder if your spouse wants to fulfill your need for love; I have to worry about school essays, getting a date, and wondering if there is anyone in the world who can fullfill my needs for love. I don't have time to do Market Surveys for a year to find out what everyone wants to have in their adventure. I only have time to write adventures based on my own interests, my own understanding, my own knowledge, and my own desires. In other words, I only have time to write adventures that well up from my own soul (which is why I'm glad for Editors :) ). What I have observed from everyone's complaints are these: 1. They didn't really read the adventure. Everything that was complained about was very carefully explained. 2. people really like their D&D characters, monsters, and NPCs standing in one place and hacking at one another, like a bunch of robots. 3. A majority of the people who posted don't think about what they post. 4. They don't want Cinematic Adventures. Even for a setting like Eberron. However, I'd like to offer a challenge to everyone who has posted. Lets see how you can handle it if the shoe is on the other foot. You all can Editorialize very well, but lets see how you can take it. Whose man or woman enough to post an adventure and take what I just took?
Sereno 09-16-05, 02:48 PM	Sereno, all you have to add is one rule, and you're set. :uh-huh: Wait a minute. You don't want your Eberron campaign to feel like a classic action movie, but you commented on my adventure. Why? :confused: Hey, Sir Elton, LIGHTEN UP ... you're the one who posted this as "An Eberron Adventure" ... not "How to bring wuxia action movies into your Eberron adventures." When I read comments on my adventure, I assume that everyone wants to use it. When they criticize my adventures (or the way they are set, which is also :confused: ) I assume that there is some interest there. If you are not interested, why comment? I'm not twisting your arm to actually run the adventure. I just offered it for free for anyone to run. If you wanted to make me a better writer, you could have just PMed or emailed me about it. Why comment on something you are not going to run anyway? Editorializing a free adventure published for free on a public board is really, really bad form. Have you been here long? Commenting on the things posted here is what these forums are all about. I've yet to see *anything* -- from the fan-site Korranberg Chronicle, to the WoTC Sharn Inquisitive, or even Keith Baker's "Dragonshards" -- go uncommented upon on these boards!! :rolleyes: If you just wanted to offer this for people to use and not comment ... post it on your own web site and put a link to it here. These are DISCUSSION boards ... thus, discussion of material posted is GOING to happen whether you like it or not. I started out interested, but your attitude has certainly changed that! :nonono: Unless all of you just want to look good in front of all your friends. Next time I publish something for free and all of you want to editorialize it, you can click on my name and send me a PM or email me about it. I can't promise for everyone here, but I can say that next time *I* won't bother....
AntiSean 09-16-05, 03:09 PM	Dude, I have a hard time taking any kind of commentary on anything I worked on as anything but personal. That's the critical (no pun intended) bit right there. People are commenting, and in some cases criticizing, your work, not you. There is a fundamental difference between the two. However near and dear it may be to your heart, what you create is not you, and vice versa. Especially if it's over something so nonsensical as a work's "setting." When it's posted to a forum that was created with a particular setting in mind, and when the adventure in questions purports to be placed within that setting, then the commentary seems entirely sensical to me. If this thread was "A Generic Adventure" on the Eberron General board, I'd agree with you somewhat on that point. If it was "A Generic Adventure" on a General, non-setting specific board, I'd agree with you entirely on that point. I posted it. And everything I got was a complaint, and it felt nervewracking. Again, I disagree. Perhaps it's just a matter of perspective, but IMHO, people were criticizing or questioning, but not maliciously. In fact: It looks like a good adventure, but I have to agree - a huge temple of snake-cultists in New Cyre just seems off. Find the right setting for it, and it'll work well. There's an example of someone complimenting you in this thread. You obviously care a great deal about the work you created. Please forgive the messy analogy, but it's like a child - you need to nurture it to the point where it can stand on its own two feet. After it's developed, you can certainly love and cherish it and continue to interact with it, but you have to let it go and live its own life. Please also note that I don't have any kids - I can hear the parents who are reading this howling with laughter right now :) However, I'd like to offer a challenge to everyone who has posted. Lets see how you can handle it if the shoe is on the other foot. You all can Editorialize very well, but lets see how you can take it. Whose man or woman enough to post an adventure and take what I just took? I honestly don't see that what you just took was that bad at all. I haven't written an adventure, but I do have a story that I'm working on linked to in my .sig. You're more than welcome to read it and post any comments that you might have about it, whether they are complimentary, criticizing, or downright mean, if that's what you feel like doing. Or, you're also free to read it and not comment, or not read it at all. It is in a public forum. I'll naturally be upset by megative comments, but I'll try to manage that as best as I can, and hopefully try to use any information I can glean from those comments, be they positive or negative, in order to improve it. I recommend you try to do the same with your own work. As an aside, IIRC, Emily Dickenson's poems were mostly (if not entirely) locked away in her home and never shown to anyone until after her death. Imagine how good some of her stuff could have been with a little collaboration/criticism/editing from other around her! :) -Sean
Sir Elton 09-16-05, 03:15 PM	Hey, Sir Elton, LIGHTEN UP ... you're the one who posted this as "An Eberron Adventure" ... not "How to bring wuxia action movies into your Eberron adventures." Yes. But I never imagined *anyone* to be so **** about it. Especially Polt. Yep, I'm the one that posted the adventure, and bumped it. But now I'm starting to wonder why I bumped it. Yeah, I've been an ass, but only because I have never been trained to take criticism very well. If anything, I learned the opposite. I'll have to think on this for a while. Thank you for being so considerate, though. I'll stop being an ass. I'll change. Okay, everyone, I've been an ass over this. What can I do to make it up to all of you?
Sir Elton 09-16-05, 03:28 PM	I honestly don't see that what you just took was that bad at all. It was the constant badgering on the location of the Temple of the Snake God. That's all. It wasn't the review, it wasn't Sereno's comments on style. It was the constant badgering on the location of the Temple of the Snake God. That's what grated me. Everything else was okay. I instantly felt like a medieval artist over this point. That was what made me an ass. :) I didn't mind the rest of the comments. In fact, they were quite helpful. People who constantly say: "This should be here, and that should be here" in my work really got on my nerves. It's like they took my creative license away. "I think it should not be in New Cyre, but in Droaam." "The Temple of the Snake God should not be in New Cyre, I think it should be in Xen'drik." "Next time, be careful where you put your temples. :)" "I agree with everyone else here. the Temple should not belong in New Cyre." "I don't think this person really knows how Eberron works." Ah, the agony! :banghead: My diatribe on *Your Eberron . . . My Eberron* was my way of saying to Polt: "Hey Polt, Lighten Up! I have a right to creative license you know."
Sereno 09-16-05, 03:35 PM	Yes. But I never imagined *anyone* to be so **** about it. Especially Polt. Yep, I'm the one that posted the adventure, and bumped it. But now I'm starting to wonder why I bumped it. Yeah, I've been an ass, but only because I have never been trained to take criticism very well. If anything, I learned the opposite. I'll have to think on this for a while. Thank you for being so considerate, though. I'll stop being an ass. I'll change. Okay, everyone, I've been an ass over this. What can I do to make it up to all of you? Well, admitting that there might be something to our positions goes a long way to "making it up to us". :) At least you recognize that you're being an ass. :D Seriously, taking criticism is REALLY important to personal growth. It's important to realize that at no time did any one here mean to imply that YOU, Sir Elton, don't know what you're doing, and that YOU are a failure. I've been writing and running adventures for a LONG time; I've been playing D&D since the old Basic (boxed) Set. I've taken LOTS of criticism in that time. Usually from my own players ... people who are supposed to be my friends!! Really, I don't think anyone (even Polt!) was being that harsh with you (at least at first). But, I do know that I got testier as the thread got bigger and I started reading your comments to my comments. :) You said at the top: I really want to see this adventure published. It was originally made as a Free fansub for the Wilderlands. However, for some reason, the people who published the Wilderlands gave up on it after the third try to have it submitted. I felt mad after that. So, I adapted it for Eberron. The adventure hasn't been published before. This is what led me, in the first place, to offer my comments. Your approach seemed to be "I don't know why they won't publish this ... what do you guys think?" If that wasn't your intention, you probably shouldn't have opened with those lines. :) If you really would like some ideas about how to make this more "Eberron" ... please say so and I'll give you some suggestions. If you don't want that, that's cool, too. And, in a couple of weeks, I may take you up on your challenge. :) I'm currently working on at least 5 different adventures, all depending on what my players want to do next! Two of them are based on Doc Savage stories, two were ideas from the Adventure Seeds thread, and one was based on the lyrics of an Evanescence song....
Sir Elton 09-16-05, 03:48 PM	As long as you comment on my style, it's okay. I'm sorry if I felt offended, exassperated, and so forth. The adventure is no longer on my Hard Drive, though. So, I won't be making any changes in setting. The hit dice for the NPC enemies are correct though. And yes, they don't have any magic items because the PCs aren't supposed to start with magic items; except for the last psychic warrior. In other words, it's a one shot designed for excitement and fun. It wasn't supposed to be integrated into any one's campaign. :) Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I should have stated that in the beginning, but I'd thought it would be obivious. :lightbulb
Tek 09-16-05, 05:22 PM	However, I'd like to offer a challenge to everyone who has posted. Lets see how you can handle it if the shoe is on the other foot. You all can Editorialize very well, but lets see how you can take it. Whose man or woman enough to post an adventure and take what I just took? Okay. (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?p=7270003#post7270003)
polt 09-17-05, 05:52 AM	Well, there's a bunch of articles in my signature, and feel free to write what you think about them. Up till now, I haven't recieved anything but "good job mate", which is nice, but it doesn't help me get better at this kind of stuff. Currently I've written what I think is a pretty darn cool adventure, but I'm trying to get it published, so I can't post it here. But I'll try to remember to do it, if it gets rejected.
Orion Polaris 09-17-05, 12:50 PM	This is Eberron. If there are NPC's that are over level 10 and have PC classes to boot, they need more background and development other then "They are just there, waiting for the PC's." Definately not something I'd want to use in my campaign. It's not just the NPC's either. The sloppily picked location just doesn't fit. The adventure structure totally relies on the DM railroading the PC's into the building, and it's rigidity gives off a video game aura. Sure it's based on a movie you liked, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that it didn't make the transition well to Eberron adventure.
Sir Elton 09-17-05, 01:07 PM	This is Eberron. If there are NPC's that are over level 10 and have PC classes to boot, they need more background and development other then "They are just there, waiting for the PC's." Definately not something I'd want to use in my campaign. It's not just the NPC's either. The sloppily picked location just doesn't fit. The adventure structure totally relies on the DM railroading the PC's into the building, and it's rigidity gives off a video game aura. Sure it's based on a movie you liked, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that it didn't make the transition well to Eberron adventure. Lighten up. Life's too short for seriousness. Watch an action movie once in a while. Go frolicking across a field of flowers.
DoveArrow 10-06-05, 02:40 AM	I realize this is probably a quixotic exercise in futility, but... Sir Elton, I realize its frustrating to get rejected. Take it from a guy that's been rejected over and over and over again (and over again). To date, the only thing I've had published (outside of a short story published in my college's literary magazine) is a letter to the editor for Dragon Magazine #327 (the letter is entitled 'W.A.C.K.O,' in case anyone cares to look it up). I also recognize it's difficult to accept criticism, especially when it's about a piece that you're very proud of. However, you have to realize that the people on these boards are not trying to upset you in any way when they critique your work. What they're trying to do, and I mean each and every one of them, is provide you with some advice that will help you grow as a writer. That way, when you try to submit again, you'll have a better shot at publication. Now having taken a look at your module (and setting aside all of the Eberron related problems), there are some things you should take a look at if you ever want to submit a module for publication again. The first thing you should look at is the Submission Guidelines for Dungeon Magazine set out by Paizo Publishing. The reason I say this is because most publishers use these guidelines as a primer for what they're looking for in a module. As a result, if your module doesn't meet the criteria set out in those guidelines, it's likely to be rejected by most any d20 publisher. Some things to consider from the Dungeon Submission Guidelines: -Publishers typically don't accept modules that send the PCs on a quest for an ancient artifact. -Publishers typically don't accept modules where the PCs have to rescue someone. -Publishers typically don't accept modules where the PCs have to repel a simple, humanoid infestation. -Publishers typically don't accept modules where the PCs have to battle a deranged wizard/sorcerer. Since your module incorporates all of these elements in some form or another (Platfinger kidnaps someone close to the PCs so that they'll help him retrieve an ancient artifact that is guarded by an infestation of simple humanoids and a deranged sorcerer), it shouldn't be a surprise that it was rejected. And before you say its the publisher's loss that they don't publish these kinds of adventures, consider why they don't. They don't because people don't want to read them. If you want proof of that, look at the unanimous rejection of your module by the people on these boards. That, more than anything, should prove how invaluable those guidelines are. Now I know it sucks to be told that your module doesn't measure up (and trust me, I know how much it sucks). However, if you're at all interested in getting published, you need to hear it, because it'll help you recognize where you went wrong the first time so you can make improvements in the future. Meanwhile, if you don't want to make improvements, that's fine too. However, don't expect to be published any time soon. I know that's harsh, but that's just the way it is. Art is open to criticism. I don't know what else to say except that I'm sorry you don't recognize how much we all want to help you. I think everyone who has responded to your adventure has done so with the hope of helping you improve your writing, and it's unfortunate that you don't see that. I wish you the best of luck with your future writings, and I certainly hope that you'll at least consider what the people of these boards have tried to tell you. They certainly have done everything they can to help, and I hope you can accept their criticism well. :)
Sir Elton 10-06-05, 01:31 PM	Dove, I can't take criticism well because I can't give it to anyone based on their work. I found out that biting criticism a long time ago is something you don't give to a person about his work. This is simply because it can be destructive to the creative process. In a real way, you are criticizing someone's soul when you criticize someone's work, because that work is an expression of his own soul. Now, there has been times when I had criticized others after learning this principle, and some would say that I criticized their work. One time, I gave Keith biting criticism since he won the Setting Search. I must have pushed the right "button" since he did get back at me. However, I somewhere realized that however unfair it might have been; it's no good to criticize the winner because of some arbitrary decision. I think the Setting Search sucked anyway since who ever won, there would be bad feelings because it was entirely arbitrary. So I emailed Keith about it and I decided to reconcile the envious criticism: nothing ever was going to change tha fact that Kieth won and I didn't. Besides, when I invent settings, I never go with the medievalism route as a model, so I deserved to lose. When I design adventures, I think about exciting elements like explosions, people flying everywhere, actual people getting hurt. I think about stunts and stunts that people can do (Aside: I have "Mastering Iron Heroes," everybody, so I can design those Zones.) to make the game much, much more fun. Deranged sorcerer? No. Adversity? yes. Hmm. I can do an adventure based off of the aftermath of a natural disaster. Theres nothing in the Dungeon Adventure guide about using a Natural Disaster as the impetus for adventurers to go. "After the big ice storm came through, your family is without food and your town is languishing." or. . . "A massive earthquake (5.5 on the Richter Scale) shook your town to it's foundations." "The mighty hurricane came through your town and very nearly swamped it. Much of your town is underwater or threatening to be." "The river had flooded over it's banks, sopping your town with water. The flood came up to your roof and you are your people had made it to higher ground, now everyone is starving." How about: "The volcano exploded and rained grey ash everywhere. The pyroclastic flow was most devastating since it broiled your mother, your father, and your siblings alive." OR maybe . . . "The mighty Valley of Fire exploded. Several volcanic eruptions all at once sent tonnes, and tonnes, and tonnes of ash everywhere. The ash fall buried many, many cities around the Valley of Fire. The Ash storms were felt as far as the Talenta Plains. However, the ash in the upper atmosphere was so thick that the sun hid its face. Darkness covered Eberron as Khyber awakened with it's mighty fury. Only, this adventure takes place immediately after. . . Can you rescue anyone in Sharn?" That adventure was based on The Game of Death.
polt 10-06-05, 01:38 PM	Constructive cirticism is a very good thing, never a bad thing. If you can't take criticism, don't post on the boards. Cause people here will tell you what they think of your stuff no matter what. And I also like adventures with lots of action. But the one you made still seem a little generic, in fact I have lots of adventures like that already.
AntiSean 10-06-05, 02:38 PM	I can't take criticism well because I can't give it to anyone based on their work. I found out that biting criticism a long time ago is something you don't give to a person about his work. This is simply because it can be destructive to the creative process. In a real way, you are criticizing someone's soul when you criticize someone's work, because that work is an expression of his own soul. I don't have any specific advice or resources that wuold help you learn how to take constructive criticism at hand, unfortunately, but I *highly* recommend you learn to do so. It's very noteworthy that you recognize that you don't take criticism well (I'm still trying to learn how to take it well myself) - the next step, if you're so inclined, is learning the best way for you to do so. I recommend killing enough orcs to level up so you get some more skill points to spend. :) I cannot underscore enough how much I disagree with the statement quoted above. My wife recently received her Masters in Fine Arts. A core component of her work towards her degree consisted of hours upon hours of critiques with her fellow artists, students and faculty members. I have several friends and acquaintances engaged in a variety of artistic and crafting endeavors in professional and non-professional capacities. Their work includes 3-D modeling and animation, sculpting, painting, writing, acting and many others. I do not think that any one of them would not welcome, let alone seek out, criticism of their work. There is a vast gulf between insult and criticism. You simply cannot improve your work without the latter. The real danger in the viewpoint expressed in the quote above is that the criticism is constantly *perceived* as insult. It's a lovely and very romantic notion to view the things you create, be they tangible or intangible, as part of yourself, and I agree that in some sense, they are. But at a certain point, you have to let go of them. Criticism is not an attack upon you; it's an attempt to relate the *perspective* from which the person offering the criticism views your work. My perspective is simply one of many. I can try to guess at what someone elses perspective is, but I won't know until they share it with me. By collecting as many different perspectives as possible, you can see a given entity from more angles than you could alone. This can help to point out flaws as well as strengths, or simply just different viewpoints. i've probably rambled on quite enough and lost the narrative thread, so I'll stop now. :) As an aside, I'd like to see more adventure scenarios involving natural elements. Given the examples you listed, I think I might be more interested in playing through some of those disasters, rather than being confronted with their aftermaths. That's just me sharing my perspective. :)
DoveArrow 10-06-05, 07:02 PM	I can't take criticism well because I can't give it to anyone based on their work. I found out that biting criticism a long time ago is something you don't give to a person about his work. This is simply because it can be destructive to the creative process. In a real way, you are criticizing someone's soul when you criticize someone's work, because that work is an exression of his own soul. Biting criticism, I agree, is never appropriate. Telling someone that their writing sucks is always a bad idea, no matter how legitimate that criticism may be. On the other hand, telling someone where they might improve, and even giving them some ideas about where they've done something right, can be very helpful. When critiquing someone else's work, I find that the best thing to do is to come up with three or four things that are working, and three or four things that are not. Then, I go back and look for consistent spelling and grammatical errors that the writer has made. I don't point out every single grammar and spelling mistake, mind you, because a lot can (and should) change in revision. However, if they consistently spell weird wrong (my wife spells it 'wierd'), I point it out. Now criticism is not easy to take. Trust me, some of the best criticism I've received has reduced me to tears. However, once the initial disappointment clears, I can typically see my work in a new light. P.S. There's a joke I once heard about James Michener which seems indicative of the toils of writing. After Michener died, he goes up to Heaven and finds that there's an angel waiting for him at the gates. The angel says to Michener, "You have led an exemplary life and have earned a place in Heaven. However, before we take you, we would like to show you Hell first." Michener is taken down into the depths of Hell and there he sees hundreds of writers chained to desks, being whipped by demons in a fiery inferno. Michener turns to the angel and says "I've seen enough. Take me to Heaven now." The angel takes Michener up to Heaven and there he sees hundreds of writers chained to desks, being whipped by demons in a fiery inferno. Michener turns to the angel and says "I don't understand. How is this any different from Hell?" "The difference," the angel says to Michener, "is that these writers get published."
Sir Elton 10-06-05, 07:17 PM	If you can't take criticism, don't post on the boards. Ah, Polt, that sounds like a good idea, but it would be absolutely selfish on my part. Selfishness is bad.
Sir Elton 10-06-05, 07:23 PM	And I also like adventures with lots of action. But the one you made still seem a little generic, in fact I have lots of adventures like that already. you have lots of adventures based on Bruce Lee's "The Game of Death?"
greatmonkey 10-07-05, 01:06 AM	I think we should all just let this thread die. You have all tried so very hard to help Sir Elton, and he has done nothing but snap at you for it. Let this thing go. He is obviously never going to understand that you want to help him, nor is he apparently ever going to be interested in any of your helpful (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=helpful) and constructive (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=constructive) criticism.
Sir Elton 10-07-05, 11:07 AM	Not until everyone here has actually played it.
polt 10-07-05, 02:02 PM	Played through your adventure? I don't think we're gonna do that, seems like a good deal of us think it's not a very good adventure.
jknevitt 10-08-05, 12:33 PM	I hate to be an (additional) bearer of bad tidings, but I thought I should mention that 'Platfinger' isn't the most ... inspired name. I winced when I read it. Anyone that's seen a Bond film can work that one out. Apart from that, it's a neat little generic one-shot for those that like that feel to their adventures.
The White Sorcerer 10-09-05, 04:53 AM	Being a fan of the wuxia genre, I found this adventure to be interesting. However, I think it really needs more adaptation. Snake God? Why not the Dragon Below? The only thing that really says Eberron is New Cyre, and I'm with the majority on this subject. And I present this question: This adventure certainly has the wu, but does it have the xia?
The White Sorcerer 10-09-05, 07:47 AM	Female Human (Amazon) Fighter 8 A what? An amazon? I didn't know Eberron had those.