Demeaning Civil Service [Archive] - Wizards Community

Demeaning Civil Service [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Melvin the Mediocre
02-28-07, 09:31 AM The characters in my game are in time out. Last session they were in competition with a mercenary group of goblins to be the first to nab the target (a corpse wanted for questioning if you are curious.) When the party was losing, they snuck up on one of the sleeping goblins, slaughtered his mount, and placed him under arrest.

Amusing? Yes. Legal? No.

So they took the little goblin back to Korth and turned him into the authorities. Accept he hadn't done any thing wrong - unlike the party. Naturally he squealed like a pig, and soon the party was in front of the Minister of Justice. As the session ended, they were being fined and assigned a week of civil service. I figure they are going to have to do some really pointed work for the goblin community. I want the players to be amused, but in a "man let's not do that again" sort of way. I figured I'd have them do things like wade into sewers to declog them, but I'm a little short on ideas. Anybody have some to offer?

Eventually, they are going to be sent deep into the big sewers to find out why all the happy little sewer workers are disappearing. I have that part all figured out. I just need the humorous but demeaning tasks right now.
Charles Phipps
02-28-07, 09:33 AM Work at the Department of Horse Registry and Branding.

:-)
yossarius
02-28-07, 10:06 AM Work at a soup kitchen / boarding house for down-and-out goblins?

Teaching goblins to read?

Habitats for Humaniods?
Kaizer_Ryu
02-28-07, 11:21 AM :plotting: :evillaugh

The PC's are assigned to a goblin nursing home and forced to care for a bunch of senile old goblins who can't remember meeting them for longer than they look at thier faces, can't stop complaining about how their dozens of children never visit, repeat the same story about the big War 'all these lazy young whippersnappers never had to serve in' over and over again, and pointing out each and every flaw (percieved or real) the PC's have or mistake they make.

In other words, the single most underpaid, underappreciated, and most patience taxing yet necessary job in existance.

Yes, even more than working in retail or customer service.

:D
Melvin the Mediocre
02-28-07, 12:05 PM :plotting: :evillaugh

The PC's are assigned to a goblin nursing home and forced to care for a bunch of senile old goblins who can't remember meeting them for longer than they look at thier faces, can't stop complaining about how their dozens of children never visit, repeat the same story about the big War 'all these lazy young whippersnappers never had to serve in' over and over again, and pointing out each and every flaw (percieved or real) the PC's have or mistake they make...

:D
OOH! That's pretty good. And I can add in the need to administer a sponge bath to an ancient flatulent bug bear, lance some infected foot warts, and empty vile bed pans. This one made this list for sure.

Teaching gobs and bug bears to read could be entertaining as well. I must not know something about horse registering, because I don't really get that one. I know that branding animals really stinks, but it is also pretty challenging work - I don't think non professionals would handle it.
Charles Phipps
02-28-07, 12:18 PM No, it's a joke about forcing them to work at the DMV.

Countless lines of people that complain about horse theft, getting their mounts branded, getting licenses for stabling, and all the various people who want to ride hippogriffs or the like.
Edymnion
02-28-07, 12:26 PM I must not know something about horse registering, because I don't really get that one.Its just a lot of meaningless paper work, really.
Heh, but you wanna *REALLY* make it so they won't do this sort of thing again? Make the players do part of the punishment in real life. If one gets stuck doing paperwork, whip up a standard form, print off 50 or so copies of it, and tell the player to fill them all out, with differant information on each one, and they have to be realistic. Things like name, age, birth date, height, weight, hair color, eye color, etc. Maybe he's filling out the forms that will be used when making identification papers, and has to fill it all out for each person that applies.

Then, just for fun, save some of those sheets and turn them into NPCs later on.

Player 1: "So, blacksmith, whats your name?"
Blacksmith: "Muh name is Dunkerfield Ubercool Nickernacker."
Player 2: "What the hell kind of name is that?"
DM: Don't look at me, Terry over there wrote this NPC up for me. See, right here. Dunkerfield Ubercool Nickernacker, male, blacksmith, recidency: Sharn.
Lancer2010
02-28-07, 07:14 PM Many I love the whole working in a old goblinoids home. Plus it could actually give you a plot hook.

And for Endymion's idea for the NPC creation... I love it.

Rock on my good gamers, rock on.
Shady314
03-01-07, 04:20 AM Its just a lot of meaningless paper work, really.
Heh, but you wanna *REALLY* make it so they won't do this sort of thing again? Make the players do part of the punishment in real life.

Hmmm well along that line... sprinkle "trash" (crumpled up paper etc.) all around the room and have them pick it up. :) What more ubiquitous form of civil service is there than litter removal?! It's easily mixed in with the sewer idea. People are always throwing things down there they shouldn't.
goblin_pride
03-01-07, 04:38 AM Hmmm well along that line... sprinkle "trash" (crumpled up paper etc.) all around the room and have them pick it up. :) What more ubiquitous form of civil service is there than litter removal?! It's easily mixed in with the sewer idea. People are always throwing things down there they shouldn't.

Like alligators.
Melvin the Mediocre
03-01-07, 12:41 PM Like alligators.

Or (as my pcs are about to discover) dinosaurs.
And yes trash duty is definatley planned.

The Department Of Mounts and Vehicles job sounds like a great way to send unwanted players packing w/o a confronation. I don't need that now, but if I ever do I'll let you know how it worked.
Nuclear_Buddha
03-02-07, 01:05 PM A non-profit dreamlily rehab center. A lot of the people there are level 1 commoners of non-dangerous races, but there are also a couple of ogres trying to off the habit. Plus it needs to be defended from a certain faction that thinks it's doing too good a job.
johnkretzer
03-02-07, 03:30 PM Its just a lot of meaningless paper work, really.
Heh, but you wanna *REALLY* make it so they won't do this sort of thing again? Make the players do part of the punishment in real life. If one gets stuck doing paperwork, whip up a standard form, print off 50 or so copies of it, and tell the player to fill them all out, with differant information on each one, and they have to be realistic. Things like name, age, birth date, height, weight, hair color, eye color, etc. Maybe he's filling out the forms that will be used when making identification papers, and has to fill it all out for each person that applies.

Then, just for fun, save some of those sheets and turn them into NPCs later on.

Player 1: "So, blacksmith, whats your name?"
Blacksmith: "Muh name is Dunkerfield Ubercool Nickernacker."
Player 2: "What the hell kind of name is that?"
DM: Don't look at me, Terry over there wrote this NPC up for me. See, right here. Dunkerfield Ubercool Nickernacker, male, blacksmith, recidency: Sharn.

You could instead have document patients at a mental institute. Including a physical desciption. Just have a couple be changelings with MPD.
ORC_Paradox
03-04-07, 01:36 AM There's the good old rat problem in the sewers. Endless rounds of combat where they know they're going to win, but they just have to chase down all the little critters.
Garou35
03-04-07, 03:56 AM Anything Hercules did for his labors or Mike Rowe does on Dirty Jobs.

I'd suggest putting them at the public garden's zoo. Cleaning up wvyern poo, trimming owlbear fur, and feeding buletes. Then their goblin rivals are awarded a parade (that goes straight through the public gardens) for their heorics in solving a quest the PCs would love.
tallric_kruush
03-04-07, 02:45 PM Anything Hercules did for his labors or Mike Rowe does on Dirty Jobs.

I'd suggest putting them at the public garden's zoo. Cleaning up wvyern poo, trimming owlbear fur, and feeding buletes. Then their goblin rivals are awarded a parade (that goes straight through the public gardens) for their heorics in solving a quest the PCs would love.

Mike Rowe definitely would have some good ideas for this DM!

I love the idea of the Goblins' Parade. The PCs should understand that it's a job they likely could've/would've received if they hadn't been busy paying their debt to society. Maybe they could be approached by a potential employer, only to get an :"Oh, never mind. You're busy. We'll find someone else." The goblins could get their well earned accolades a few days later. Maybe the PCs even have the pleasure of watching the goblins spend some of their unusually substantial reward money.
Edymnion
03-04-07, 04:04 PM Hmmm well along that line... sprinkle "trash" (crumpled up paper etc.) all around the room and have them pick it up. :) What more ubiquitous form of civil service is there than litter removal?! It's easily mixed in with the sewer idea. People are always throwing things down there they shouldn't.Heh, screw that, tell 'em to clean out your garage! If they're going to be cleaning up for punishment, might as well get something productive out of it. Make sure they do all the cleaning in character too! :PI love the idea of the Goblins' Parade. The PCs should understand that it's a job they likely could've/would've received if they hadn't been busy paying their debt to society. Maybe they could be approached by a potential employer, only to get an :"Oh, never mind. You're busy. We'll find someone else." The goblins could get their well earned accolades a few days later. Maybe the PCs even have the pleasure of watching the goblins spend some of their unusually substantial reward money.Have one of the goblins try to buy the PC's sword. :D

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Melvin the Mediocre 02-28-07, 09:31 AM	The characters in my game are in time out. Last session they were in competition with a mercenary group of goblins to be the first to nab the target (a corpse wanted for questioning if you are curious.) When the party was losing, they snuck up on one of the sleeping goblins, slaughtered his mount, and placed him under arrest. Amusing? Yes. Legal? No. So they took the little goblin back to Korth and turned him into the authorities. Accept he hadn't done any thing wrong - unlike the party. Naturally he squealed like a pig, and soon the party was in front of the Minister of Justice. As the session ended, they were being fined and assigned a week of civil service. I figure they are going to have to do some really pointed work for the goblin community. I want the players to be amused, but in a "man let's not do that again" sort of way. I figured I'd have them do things like wade into sewers to declog them, but I'm a little short on ideas. Anybody have some to offer? Eventually, they are going to be sent deep into the big sewers to find out why all the happy little sewer workers are disappearing. I have that part all figured out. I just need the humorous but demeaning tasks right now.
Charles Phipps 02-28-07, 09:33 AM	Work at the Department of Horse Registry and Branding. :-)
yossarius 02-28-07, 10:06 AM	Work at a soup kitchen / boarding house for down-and-out goblins? Teaching goblins to read? Habitats for Humaniods?
Kaizer_Ryu 02-28-07, 11:21 AM	:plotting: :evillaugh The PC's are assigned to a goblin nursing home and forced to care for a bunch of senile old goblins who can't remember meeting them for longer than they look at thier faces, can't stop complaining about how their dozens of children never visit, repeat the same story about the big War 'all these lazy young whippersnappers never had to serve in' over and over again, and pointing out each and every flaw (percieved or real) the PC's have or mistake they make. In other words, the single most underpaid, underappreciated, and most patience taxing yet necessary job in existance. Yes, even more than working in retail or customer service. :D
Melvin the Mediocre 02-28-07, 12:05 PM	:plotting: :evillaugh The PC's are assigned to a goblin nursing home and forced to care for a bunch of senile old goblins who can't remember meeting them for longer than they look at thier faces, can't stop complaining about how their dozens of children never visit, repeat the same story about the big War 'all these lazy young whippersnappers never had to serve in' over and over again, and pointing out each and every flaw (percieved or real) the PC's have or mistake they make... :D OOH! That's pretty good. And I can add in the need to administer a sponge bath to an ancient flatulent bug bear, lance some infected foot warts, and empty vile bed pans. This one made this list for sure. Teaching gobs and bug bears to read could be entertaining as well. I must not know something about horse registering, because I don't really get that one. I know that branding animals really stinks, but it is also pretty challenging work - I don't think non professionals would handle it.
Charles Phipps 02-28-07, 12:18 PM	No, it's a joke about forcing them to work at the DMV. Countless lines of people that complain about horse theft, getting their mounts branded, getting licenses for stabling, and all the various people who want to ride hippogriffs or the like.
Edymnion 02-28-07, 12:26 PM	I must not know something about horse registering, because I don't really get that one.Its just a lot of meaningless paper work, really. Heh, but you wanna REALLY make it so they won't do this sort of thing again? Make the players do part of the punishment in real life. If one gets stuck doing paperwork, whip up a standard form, print off 50 or so copies of it, and tell the player to fill them all out, with differant information on each one, and they have to be realistic. Things like name, age, birth date, height, weight, hair color, eye color, etc. Maybe he's filling out the forms that will be used when making identification papers, and has to fill it all out for each person that applies. Then, just for fun, save some of those sheets and turn them into NPCs later on. Player 1: "So, blacksmith, whats your name?" Blacksmith: "Muh name is Dunkerfield Ubercool Nickernacker." Player 2: "What the hell kind of name is that?" DM: Don't look at me, Terry over there wrote this NPC up for me. See, right here. Dunkerfield Ubercool Nickernacker, male, blacksmith, recidency: Sharn.
Lancer2010 02-28-07, 07:14 PM	Many I love the whole working in a old goblinoids home. Plus it could actually give you a plot hook. And for Endymion's idea for the NPC creation... I love it. Rock on my good gamers, rock on.
Shady314 03-01-07, 04:20 AM	Its just a lot of meaningless paper work, really. Heh, but you wanna REALLY make it so they won't do this sort of thing again? Make the players do part of the punishment in real life. Hmmm well along that line... sprinkle "trash" (crumpled up paper etc.) all around the room and have them pick it up. :) What more ubiquitous form of civil service is there than litter removal?! It's easily mixed in with the sewer idea. People are always throwing things down there they shouldn't.
goblin_pride 03-01-07, 04:38 AM	Hmmm well along that line... sprinkle "trash" (crumpled up paper etc.) all around the room and have them pick it up. :) What more ubiquitous form of civil service is there than litter removal?! It's easily mixed in with the sewer idea. People are always throwing things down there they shouldn't. Like alligators.
Melvin the Mediocre 03-01-07, 12:41 PM	Like alligators. Or (as my pcs are about to discover) dinosaurs. And yes trash duty is definatley planned. The Department Of Mounts and Vehicles job sounds like a great way to send unwanted players packing w/o a confronation. I don't need that now, but if I ever do I'll let you know how it worked.
Nuclear_Buddha 03-02-07, 01:05 PM	A non-profit dreamlily rehab center. A lot of the people there are level 1 commoners of non-dangerous races, but there are also a couple of ogres trying to off the habit. Plus it needs to be defended from a certain faction that thinks it's doing too good a job.
johnkretzer 03-02-07, 03:30 PM	Its just a lot of meaningless paper work, really. Heh, but you wanna REALLY make it so they won't do this sort of thing again? Make the players do part of the punishment in real life. If one gets stuck doing paperwork, whip up a standard form, print off 50 or so copies of it, and tell the player to fill them all out, with differant information on each one, and they have to be realistic. Things like name, age, birth date, height, weight, hair color, eye color, etc. Maybe he's filling out the forms that will be used when making identification papers, and has to fill it all out for each person that applies. Then, just for fun, save some of those sheets and turn them into NPCs later on. Player 1: "So, blacksmith, whats your name?" Blacksmith: "Muh name is Dunkerfield Ubercool Nickernacker." Player 2: "What the hell kind of name is that?" DM: Don't look at me, Terry over there wrote this NPC up for me. See, right here. Dunkerfield Ubercool Nickernacker, male, blacksmith, recidency: Sharn. You could instead have document patients at a mental institute. Including a physical desciption. Just have a couple be changelings with MPD.
ORC_Paradox 03-04-07, 01:36 AM	There's the good old rat problem in the sewers. Endless rounds of combat where they know they're going to win, but they just have to chase down all the little critters.
Garou35 03-04-07, 03:56 AM	Anything Hercules did for his labors or Mike Rowe does on Dirty Jobs. I'd suggest putting them at the public garden's zoo. Cleaning up wvyern poo, trimming owlbear fur, and feeding buletes. Then their goblin rivals are awarded a parade (that goes straight through the public gardens) for their heorics in solving a quest the PCs would love.
tallric_kruush 03-04-07, 02:45 PM	Anything Hercules did for his labors or Mike Rowe does on Dirty Jobs. I'd suggest putting them at the public garden's zoo. Cleaning up wvyern poo, trimming owlbear fur, and feeding buletes. Then their goblin rivals are awarded a parade (that goes straight through the public gardens) for their heorics in solving a quest the PCs would love. Mike Rowe definitely would have some good ideas for this DM! I love the idea of the Goblins' Parade. The PCs should understand that it's a job they likely could've/would've received if they hadn't been busy paying their debt to society. Maybe they could be approached by a potential employer, only to get an :"Oh, never mind. You're busy. We'll find someone else." The goblins could get their well earned accolades a few days later. Maybe the PCs even have the pleasure of watching the goblins spend some of their unusually substantial reward money.
Edymnion 03-04-07, 04:04 PM	Hmmm well along that line... sprinkle "trash" (crumpled up paper etc.) all around the room and have them pick it up. :) What more ubiquitous form of civil service is there than litter removal?! It's easily mixed in with the sewer idea. People are always throwing things down there they shouldn't.Heh, screw that, tell 'em to clean out your garage! If they're going to be cleaning up for punishment, might as well get something productive out of it. Make sure they do all the cleaning in character too! :PI love the idea of the Goblins' Parade. The PCs should understand that it's a job they likely could've/would've received if they hadn't been busy paying their debt to society. Maybe they could be approached by a potential employer, only to get an :"Oh, never mind. You're busy. We'll find someone else." The goblins could get their well earned accolades a few days later. Maybe the PCs even have the pleasure of watching the goblins spend some of their unusually substantial reward money.Have one of the goblins try to buy the PC's sword. :D