Eberron Adventure Ideas featuring Bossy the Cow [Humor] [Archive] - Wizards Community

Eberron Adventure Ideas featuring Bossy the Cow [Humor] [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Sir Elton
12-13-05, 07:59 AM Rules: The ideas have to do with a certain demonically possessed cow named Bossy. Hellcow is sure to get a kick out of this, though. One of his adventures he wrote for the d20 System featured a demonically possessed cow.

Demon Cow Idea One: A demonic cow named Bossy is terrorizing New Cyre. The prince wants the adventurers to take her out.

Demon Cow Idea Two: Two farmers in Breland are complaining that Bossy the Cow is belching gas that is killing their prized crop. Which happens to be assassin vines. But the players don't need to know that. Anyway, the farmers want the heroes to either kill Bossy or find a way to put beano in Bossy's feed.

Demon Cow Idea Three: The Lord of Blades' is being harried by Bossy who is being stung by a gad fly. Constantly. He wants his trusted enemies -- uh he means friends -- to kill the gadfly and pacify the cow. Maybe Bossy is a thranish priestess who has been transfigured into the form of a cow . . . By Mordain!

I'm sure you guys can make up more.
7sigma
12-13-05, 08:24 PM One of the rhakshasa Rajahs is finally set free, thanks to the player's hapless adventuring (and slaying a certain black dragon). Insane from his imprisionment, he assumes the identity of a demoniac cow, that now threatens Khorvaire with its gassy malevolence. Her most frightening ability is to eat adventurers, keep them in the stomach for a while, then throw them away, just to eat them again. The Sharn Inquisitive, motivated by her foul attitude, has forged a new name for the creature: Bossy.
Straylight
12-13-05, 08:35 PM Uh... wow. That was random. Uhm..

-A village in rural Aundair is being harassed by an unknown assailant. Crops are being trampled, pasture fences broken, and all of the animals in town are skittish and aggressive, leading to many minor and a few more severe injuries. Old Sera Hemik is certain the mayor's troublemaker son and his friends are responsible, but the boys insist they had nothing to do with the chaos and claim to have seen one of Hemik's cows staring at them with glowing red eyes. Are the boys lying, or is something more sinister going on in the fields of the Hemik dairy farm?

-There's a cow on the roof... of the ir'Clarn estates in Sharn. The creature simply stands there staring up at the sky. Two men have already been injured when the cow kicked them off the roof. How did it get up there, and why does it appear to be waiting for something?

-Dourne, a Paladin of the Silver Flame, reports sensing a powerful and malevolent evil in the fields of a farm north of Sigilstar. The Chuch dispatches a team to investigate the Paladin's discovery, but they find nothing except a herd of cows grazing in the field. The Paladin begins to doubt himself, questioning if he really felt anything at all... until members of the team start turning up dead, bitten and trampled by cows in places that should be impossible for them to reach. Is some evil force using the ordinarily docile bovine herd as cover, or is it the cows themselves trying to kill the Paladin's companions?

...suddenly I'm in the mood for hamburger. More coming after I go eat dinner...
Edymnion
12-13-05, 08:36 PM The Hellcow is a high level arcane caster, who weilds a halbred, and likes to cast Simulcram all the time, creating hundreds, possibly thousands of copies of himself. He then moved himself and all of his copies to a pocket dimension, where he hides his stash of incredibly powerful magic equipment.

The players have to find a way to make a portal into his pocket dimension, fight through all of his simulcrams, and him, in order to claim phat l00t.
Thanqol
12-14-05, 05:21 AM The Valdis family, through the course of biological experiments trying to create a cow that would grow faster, have created a monstrosity. An accident in the lab caused fiendish blood to be mixed with the biological mother cow's food, thus causing it's offspring to be tainted. The new, half-fiendish cow grew to full size in days, and to full combat capeability within a week. He has enslaved the Valdis enclave, and is preparing to attack the rest of Khorvaire.
MarkB
12-14-05, 05:57 AM One of the rhakshasa Rajahs is finally set free, thanks to the player's hapless adventuring (and slaying a certain black dragon). Insane from his imprisionment, he assumes the identity of a demoniac cow, that now threatens Khorvaire with its gassy malevolence.
Ray Stantz: "I tried to think of the most harmless thing possible. Something from my childhood, something that could never, ever possibly hurt us. We used to roast Bossy burgers on the barbecue back home..."

Winston Zeddemore: "Well, now the burgers are out for revenge."

Sorry, couldn't resist. :D
boolean
12-14-05, 07:44 AM I'm sure "Bossy the Cow" is many groups' nickname for Matron Martra, from the RPGA Mark of Heroes campaign.
boolean
12-14-05, 07:47 AM The Hellcow is a high level arcane caster, who weilds a halbred, and likes to cast Simulcram all the time, creating hundreds, possibly thousands of copies of himself. He then moved himself and all of his copies to a pocket dimension, where he hides his stash of incredibly powerful magic equipment.

The players have to find a way to make a portal into his pocket dimension, fight through all of his simulcrams, and him, in order to claim phat l00t.

Already been done. :)

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/article.asp?x=d2/d220010302x
Hellcow
12-14-05, 11:23 PM One of his adventures he wrote for the d20 System featured a demonically possessed cow.
Three, actually - one in each of Atlas Game's En Route books. "The Hellcow", "Hellcows", and "Hellcow3: The Sacred Cow". Sadly, we never got around to "Hellcow Resurrection", or for that matter, "Hellcow vs. Predator." The original Hellcow adventure is available on the features page of BossytheCow.com. (And yes, while I'm a big Diablo fan, these En Route adventures are the source of my online handle.)

A :cookie: to you for coming up with the idea, Elton - Bossy is looking forward to the seeing what people come up with!

(Me? I'm seeing a little mishap involving an everburning torch, a conjunction with Fernia, and a certain bossy cow on the ir'Leary estate in Sharn. There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight...)
Salookanana
12-15-05, 02:49 AM Jaela has been kidnaped! Only her pope hat with a cowpatty inside was found! Inside was a note reading- Drink Your Milk Or Die. Who could have done this and why?
No, the answer is not the crew of the Forgotten Freedom...

King MacCheese of the House MacDonald is in a desperate bind. The Duke of Grimmace has been trampled and gored and reports of Hamburgalry have tripled. The king suspects his court jester, Ron, of unleasing the havoc, but what truly is going on? He hires you to get to the bottom of this Super Sized caper.

Now if you excuse me, I must listen to the song "Cows With Guns"...
Straylight
12-15-05, 05:08 AM No, the answer is not the crew of the Forgotten Freedom...

Funniest line in the post.

Now if you excuse me, I must listen to the song "Cows With Guns"...

Hey look, Keith has a theme song!

Heh, I was wondering when someone was gonna mention this song. Love it.
Gez
12-15-05, 11:54 AM Bossy's not just an ordinary mystical bovine. She's the evil twin of another cow, Bessy. Now, both Bossy and Bessy have been invited to the Ir'Tain Gala in Sharn, and Bessy looks like that:

http://gez117.free.fr/NKL/HolyCow.jpg
Sir Elton
12-15-05, 05:14 PM A :cookie: to you for coming up with the idea, Elton - Bossy is looking forward to the seeing what people come up with!

Why thank you Hellcow! I thought Bossy could get a kick out of it.

Not that this group would dare go cow tipping. :D
Euangelion
12-16-05, 12:54 AM - The party is kidnapped and awaken on a fiendish ranch surrounded by thousands of other humanoids. That morning they set off on a long journey on a wide prairie. As hell hounds herd them along, they follow a mighty cow with red eyes. Some of the more hopeful speak of a time of deliverance at the end of the trail, others are not sure if they want to be "delivered"...
DoveArrow
12-16-05, 05:34 PM Bossy has instigated a revolution of the animals on a small farm in Aundair. Seceding from the nation, Bossy has declared herself sovereign ruler of this new 'animal farm.' Meanwhile, the uprising has set an example for other farm animals across the nation, and everywhere, farmers are complaining of being forced off their farms by unruly chickens, cows, and sheep. In an effort to put a stop to this nationwide uprising of service animals, the Aundarian government has hired the PCs to take back the farm from Bossy, but the clever bovine is ready for them. Will the PCs be able to stop this mad cow in her quest for equality and restore the animals to their proper place?
Hellcow
12-16-05, 05:37 PM Four legs good, two legs bad! (Just don't bring behirs into this.)
DoveArrow
12-16-05, 05:57 PM Four legs good, two legs bad! (Just don't bring behirs into this.)

Okay that's one, two... eight, nine... okay whatever, you're in. :P
Sir Elton
12-19-05, 08:26 PM I think, therefore this thread needs a lovely :bump:

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Sir Elton 12-13-05, 07:59 AM	Rules: The ideas have to do with a certain demonically possessed cow named Bossy. Hellcow is sure to get a kick out of this, though. One of his adventures he wrote for the d20 System featured a demonically possessed cow. Demon Cow Idea One: A demonic cow named Bossy is terrorizing New Cyre. The prince wants the adventurers to take her out. Demon Cow Idea Two: Two farmers in Breland are complaining that Bossy the Cow is belching gas that is killing their prized crop. Which happens to be assassin vines. But the players don't need to know that. Anyway, the farmers want the heroes to either kill Bossy or find a way to put beano in Bossy's feed. Demon Cow Idea Three: The Lord of Blades' is being harried by Bossy who is being stung by a gad fly. Constantly. He wants his trusted enemies -- uh he means friends -- to kill the gadfly and pacify the cow. Maybe Bossy is a thranish priestess who has been transfigured into the form of a cow . . . By Mordain! I'm sure you guys can make up more.
7sigma 12-13-05, 08:24 PM	One of the rhakshasa Rajahs is finally set free, thanks to the player's hapless adventuring (and slaying a certain black dragon). Insane from his imprisionment, he assumes the identity of a demoniac cow, that now threatens Khorvaire with its gassy malevolence. Her most frightening ability is to eat adventurers, keep them in the stomach for a while, then throw them away, just to eat them again. The Sharn Inquisitive, motivated by her foul attitude, has forged a new name for the creature: Bossy.
Straylight 12-13-05, 08:35 PM	Uh... wow. That was random. Uhm.. -A village in rural Aundair is being harassed by an unknown assailant. Crops are being trampled, pasture fences broken, and all of the animals in town are skittish and aggressive, leading to many minor and a few more severe injuries. Old Sera Hemik is certain the mayor's troublemaker son and his friends are responsible, but the boys insist they had nothing to do with the chaos and claim to have seen one of Hemik's cows staring at them with glowing red eyes. Are the boys lying, or is something more sinister going on in the fields of the Hemik dairy farm? -There's a cow on the roof... of the ir'Clarn estates in Sharn. The creature simply stands there staring up at the sky. Two men have already been injured when the cow kicked them off the roof. How did it get up there, and why does it appear to be waiting for something? -Dourne, a Paladin of the Silver Flame, reports sensing a powerful and malevolent evil in the fields of a farm north of Sigilstar. The Chuch dispatches a team to investigate the Paladin's discovery, but they find nothing except a herd of cows grazing in the field. The Paladin begins to doubt himself, questioning if he really felt anything at all... until members of the team start turning up dead, bitten and trampled by cows in places that should be impossible for them to reach. Is some evil force using the ordinarily docile bovine herd as cover, or is it the cows themselves trying to kill the Paladin's companions? ...suddenly I'm in the mood for hamburger. More coming after I go eat dinner...
Edymnion 12-13-05, 08:36 PM	The Hellcow is a high level arcane caster, who weilds a halbred, and likes to cast Simulcram all the time, creating hundreds, possibly thousands of copies of himself. He then moved himself and all of his copies to a pocket dimension, where he hides his stash of incredibly powerful magic equipment. The players have to find a way to make a portal into his pocket dimension, fight through all of his simulcrams, and him, in order to claim phat l00t.
Thanqol 12-14-05, 05:21 AM	The Valdis family, through the course of biological experiments trying to create a cow that would grow faster, have created a monstrosity. An accident in the lab caused fiendish blood to be mixed with the biological mother cow's food, thus causing it's offspring to be tainted. The new, half-fiendish cow grew to full size in days, and to full combat capeability within a week. He has enslaved the Valdis enclave, and is preparing to attack the rest of Khorvaire.
MarkB 12-14-05, 05:57 AM	One of the rhakshasa Rajahs is finally set free, thanks to the player's hapless adventuring (and slaying a certain black dragon). Insane from his imprisionment, he assumes the identity of a demoniac cow, that now threatens Khorvaire with its gassy malevolence. Ray Stantz: "I tried to think of the most harmless thing possible. Something from my childhood, something that could never, ever possibly hurt us. We used to roast Bossy burgers on the barbecue back home..." Winston Zeddemore: "Well, now the burgers are out for revenge." Sorry, couldn't resist. :D
boolean 12-14-05, 07:44 AM	I'm sure "Bossy the Cow" is many groups' nickname for Matron Martra, from the RPGA Mark of Heroes campaign.
boolean 12-14-05, 07:47 AM	The Hellcow is a high level arcane caster, who weilds a halbred, and likes to cast Simulcram all the time, creating hundreds, possibly thousands of copies of himself. He then moved himself and all of his copies to a pocket dimension, where he hides his stash of incredibly powerful magic equipment. The players have to find a way to make a portal into his pocket dimension, fight through all of his simulcrams, and him, in order to claim phat l00t. Already been done. :) http://www.wizards.com/dnd/article.asp?x=d2/d220010302x
Hellcow 12-14-05, 11:23 PM	One of his adventures he wrote for the d20 System featured a demonically possessed cow. Three, actually - one in each of Atlas Game's En Route books. "The Hellcow", "Hellcows", and "Hellcow3: The Sacred Cow". Sadly, we never got around to "Hellcow Resurrection", or for that matter, "Hellcow vs. Predator." The original Hellcow adventure is available on the features page of BossytheCow.com. (And yes, while I'm a big Diablo fan, these En Route adventures are the source of my online handle.) A :cookie: to you for coming up with the idea, Elton - Bossy is looking forward to the seeing what people come up with! (Me? I'm seeing a little mishap involving an everburning torch, a conjunction with Fernia, and a certain bossy cow on the ir'Leary estate in Sharn. There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight...)
Salookanana 12-15-05, 02:49 AM	Jaela has been kidnaped! Only her pope hat with a cowpatty inside was found! Inside was a note reading- Drink Your Milk Or Die. Who could have done this and why? No, the answer is not the crew of the Forgotten Freedom... King MacCheese of the House MacDonald is in a desperate bind. The Duke of Grimmace has been trampled and gored and reports of Hamburgalry have tripled. The king suspects his court jester, Ron, of unleasing the havoc, but what truly is going on? He hires you to get to the bottom of this Super Sized caper. Now if you excuse me, I must listen to the song "Cows With Guns"...
Straylight 12-15-05, 05:08 AM	No, the answer is not the crew of the Forgotten Freedom... Funniest line in the post. Now if you excuse me, I must listen to the song "Cows With Guns"... Hey look, Keith has a theme song! Heh, I was wondering when someone was gonna mention this song. Love it.
Gez 12-15-05, 11:54 AM	Bossy's not just an ordinary mystical bovine. She's the evil twin of another cow, Bessy. Now, both Bossy and Bessy have been invited to the Ir'Tain Gala in Sharn, and Bessy looks like that: http://gez117.free.fr/NKL/HolyCow.jpg
Sir Elton 12-15-05, 05:14 PM	A :cookie: to you for coming up with the idea, Elton - Bossy is looking forward to the seeing what people come up with! Why thank you Hellcow! I thought Bossy could get a kick out of it. Not that this group would dare go cow tipping. :D
Euangelion 12-16-05, 12:54 AM	- The party is kidnapped and awaken on a fiendish ranch surrounded by thousands of other humanoids. That morning they set off on a long journey on a wide prairie. As hell hounds herd them along, they follow a mighty cow with red eyes. Some of the more hopeful speak of a time of deliverance at the end of the trail, others are not sure if they want to be "delivered"...
DoveArrow 12-16-05, 05:34 PM	Bossy has instigated a revolution of the animals on a small farm in Aundair. Seceding from the nation, Bossy has declared herself sovereign ruler of this new 'animal farm.' Meanwhile, the uprising has set an example for other farm animals across the nation, and everywhere, farmers are complaining of being forced off their farms by unruly chickens, cows, and sheep. In an effort to put a stop to this nationwide uprising of service animals, the Aundarian government has hired the PCs to take back the farm from Bossy, but the clever bovine is ready for them. Will the PCs be able to stop this mad cow in her quest for equality and restore the animals to their proper place?
Hellcow 12-16-05, 05:37 PM	Four legs good, two legs bad! (Just don't bring behirs into this.)
DoveArrow 12-16-05, 05:57 PM	Four legs good, two legs bad! (Just don't bring behirs into this.) Okay that's one, two... eight, nine... okay whatever, you're in. :P
Sir Elton 12-19-05, 08:26 PM	I think, therefore this thread needs a lovely :bump: