Eberron Limericks [Archive] - Wizards Community

Eberron Limericks [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
lukelightning
07-21-04, 11:47 AM There once was a gnome from Khorvaire
Who totally lacked any hair.
He went into the woods
Trained under some druids.
Now he's not only bare, he's a bear.

A warforged with the adamant feat
Is a foe that is quite hard to beat.
Don't whack it with sticks
Or even with bricks.
Try using "expeditious retreat."

There once was a farmer named Arn
Who moved to the city of Sharn
He had a fear of heights
So always got frights
Working in his 15th-storey barn.

A young changeling named Grace
Would constantly reshape her face.
Her clothes would not change
So she looked awfully strange,
As a male half-orc wearing lace.
Vapor IX
07-21-04, 01:12 PM There once was a Warforged Juggernaut
He was very and truly distraught
He had stood in the rain
And much to his shame
He was rusty and squeaked quite a lot

EDIT: changed the last line
lukelightning
07-21-04, 01:30 PM (Vapor: you get bonus points for rhyming "Juggernaut"!)

There once was a Shifter named Flo;
Animal traits she could grow.
Her claws were quite keen,
Her fur, a nice sheen.
And that's how she got "Best In Show."

There once was a striking young lass.
Who belonged to the Orien Class.
Her rail trips were free,
and conducters smiled with glee
When she showed 'em the mark on her (posterior)

My elemental-bound ship is a nice
magical transport device
But I found out the reason
Why I'm always freezin'
I should have bound water, not ice.
Roo
07-21-04, 01:44 PM lol @ ice :p

Good ones!

(I would have found a different syllable than 'the' in "best in the show" - it's Best in Show. -- sorry, wife is a dog show nut)
Vapor IX
07-21-04, 02:05 PM For all those who are reading this thread but too shy to make a limerick, this can help you out:

RhymeZone (http://www.rhymezone.com/)

It's a phonetic dictionary that will help you find rhyming words and phrases. You know you love it.
Saurenda
07-21-04, 04:06 PM I remember these from quest for glory and Kings quest and space quest, and just about any other game sierra made witht he word quest in it:

Here lie's a girl named Sue
Who did not know what she could do
One day she was fine
till she cross the line
And met the pavement below with a "boo hoo"

A Cleric of Vol one day preached
That his inevitable death would be breached
He hoped and he prayed
His faith couldn't be swayed
Until the day
When he suffered a blow from a blade

Here lies Juran Comost
Follower of the Sovergien Host
He was working in the field
Instead of raising his shield
And upon an arrow's appeal
His heart came to a yield

I knew a warforged named Mac
Who suffered a heart attack
He protested and whined
And drama did unwind
As he gave his party all affects
When he preformed a self check

The Lord of Blades did say
To kill the human race in an amusing way
He plotted and schemed
Till the twlight gleamed
But never bothered to leave the mournlands

Jim rode the lighnting rail one day
No ride safer House Orien would say
He buckled his seat and shuffled his feat
When he rode out in Cyre, out in the "Mourning"

Allana journeyed to Xen'drik
She couldn't find her way back, not one tik
And soon she found
With Drow all around
That she would be staying for supper
Bluebrush
07-21-04, 06:52 PM There was a fighter named dave
Who was quite excessively brave
In battle stood tall
But poison made fall
When he failed his fortitude save
ChrisTheS
07-22-04, 03:38 AM The priests of the Emerald Claw
Tend to operate outside the law.
Whether seeking a shard
Or deep-sixing a bard,
Their behavior can stick in your craw.

A thousand Karrnathi undead
On the warpath through Cyre did tread.
But a warforged platoon
Saw them coming too soon
And reduced them to ashes instead.

A priest of the Thrane Inquisition
Has a rather exalted position.
He can burn lycanthropes,
And then hang with stout ropes
Those who grumble and speak of sedition.

A Khyber shard is quite a find:
With it, elementals you bind.
In your masterwork sword
With some craft and a word
Is more power than what was designed.

Meh... the last one's a bit of a stretch... it's late, I'm going to bed.
Blizzard_Bobsan
07-22-04, 03:42 AM double post
Blizzard_Bobsan
07-22-04, 03:42 AM A handsome young warforged named Ace,
Wooed women of every race,
But once ladies glanced at
His special enhancement,
They vanished with nary a trace.

(The tribute goes to the game Alpha Centauri...)
edit: fixed some spelling
Bluebrush
07-22-04, 06:22 AM There was a bold warforged named Tor
Who had a low Wisdom score
Though constructed so fine
He's remains a philistine
And he can't complete limericks properly
ieattrollsforbreakfast
07-22-04, 08:20 AM The once was a Kalastar
Who came from a land called Adar
He went to Sharn
to live in a barn
and makes cash playing acoustic guitar.

Thats the best I could do ;)
ieattrollsforbreakfast
07-22-04, 08:20 AM The once was a Kalashtar
Who came from a land called Adar
He went to Sharn
to live in a barn
and makes cash playing acoustic guitar.

Thats the best I could do ;)
lukelightning
07-22-04, 09:09 AM A daring young druid named Dorred
Has a badger in nature quite horrid.
It has bone-crushing jaws,
acidic claws,
and razor-sharp spines on its forehead.
Sulaco
07-22-04, 03:38 PM There once was a warforged named Bob
Who worked a security job
To pass the time,
He'd write silly rhymes,
Will sitting there playing with his knobs
Serpentine
07-22-04, 09:26 PM This is an awesome thread!

A dragonmarked heir of Thuranni
Met a dwarf known as Iron Johnny
Who said, "Illusions can't hide it,
It must be your diet
That makes all of you elves so scrawny."

There once was a gnome of Zilargo
Who cleverly ducked an embargo
He ran caravans down
to old Korranberg town
and hid in his pants the whole cargo.

A young shifter traveled to Aerenal
But soon found himself barin' all
His clothes eaten by moths,
He gasped, "What? You're all goths?!"
And instead grew out his hair and all.
ChrisTheS
07-23-04, 02:35 AM By the light of a mystical lamp,
An adventurer crawls through the damp,
With a parcel to bear
To a dragonmark heir
Too cheap for an Orien stamp.

---

'tween the Dragons Above and Below,
An interminous conflict did grow.
But the Dragon Between
Went and made such a scene
That the both of them had to lay low.

---

In Karrnath, or so I am told,
Lives a king who is much, much too old.
Though about twenty-four
At the start of the War
Nowadays he's a century Vol'd.
okaynowa
07-23-04, 05:02 AM A cruel ogre thug on the laam
Found steady work in Droaam
Now he's polite
As a Silver Flame knight
Serve a hag and it's yes or no, maam!

The innkeeper said, "Sir, I guess
From your beard and the style of your dress
You're the dwarf who was sent
To tally the rent?"
The changeling replied, "Mror or less."

A Cyrene exile in Q'barra
Kept to d'straight and d'narra.
"I'll find me a way
Through the jungle today
And retake the Mournlands t'marra."

A clawfoot rider from Talenta
Dressed his dino in puce and magenta.
When asked why he chose
Such outrageous clothes
The halfling said "Visual dementia."

A hobgoblin chief from Darguun
Swore by the eleventh muun
That his troops wouldn't tire,
"We'll rebuild the empire!
Sure, not tomorrow, but suun."
Galen_Michael
08-13-04, 01:54 AM I just found this thread and firmly believe it needs resurrecting :)

A Silver Flame cleric from Thrane
Hopped aboard a lightning rail train
But the journey was fraught
With those from Xoriat
And the daelkyr did drive him insane.

A werewolf from great Argonnessen
Felt guilty and did some confessin’
To a priest of the Flame
Who then did exclaim
(as he slew him) “You’ve now learned your lesson!”

And Inspired young girl named Ramona
Who hailed from far off Sarlona
Came one day to Khorvaire
Though she soon did despair
Once the Kalashtar found her and owned’a
Save_vs_DM
08-13-04, 03:24 AM To forge a mark of Sivis
Is indeed a dangerous mess
It's difficult in the extreme
And and as dangerous a dream
OF forcing a Daelkyr into a pink party dress

-------

There once was a councilor undying
Who could never be accused of not trying
For after a pure maiden he did lust
But in him she did not trust
So he looks up her skirt by scrying.

-------

The Lord of Blades is quite mean
His hands will pull out your splean
But oh the shame
Of his one private game
His lover is an eldrich machine

-------

There once was a Sentinel of house Deneith
Who had lost all but one of his teeth
Of this he was quite proud
For he stood out in a crowd
For he was a Baker named Keith
(Sorry, I just had to do it. You know we love ya, Kieth)

-------
They say the Cult of the Dragon Below
Puts on a mighty good show
With whoops and hollers
Clad in black leather collars
Dance the all naked medusa tableau

That's all for now,
Cheers,
Save vs DM
WotC_Doog
08-19-04, 12:29 PM Great thread. Please excuse my unworthy offerings:

There once was an ornery ankheg
Who burrowed up through a man’s pant leg
An onlooker named Mimi
Asked “So you’re happy to see me?”
And they discussed it over a beer keg.

An adventuring chap name of Leland
Had a map labeled “Island of Breland”
When he got there he saw ‘em
—Peter Jackson and Gollum!—
And he knew it was really New Zealand.
Bluebrush
08-20-04, 04:53 PM To bear the mark of the storm
You must be Lyrandar born
I know it's unfair
That marks are so rare
But please don't look so forlorn!

There was a young bard from Darguun
Who played a melodious basoon
Her concerts are free
If lycanthrope you be
Music by the light of the moon!
ChrisTheS
08-20-04, 06:07 PM Beneath a stone crypt in Aundair
Lives a vampire, proud of his hair.
"I will not," says the bat,
"ever buy me a hat.
'twould be shameful to hide locks so fair."
ChrisTheS
08-31-04, 02:48 AM Since my last set appears to have vanished... I'll try to recollect them.

---

If toward the Mror Holds you should wend,
Take a care of the dwarves you offend:
For a Kundarak miffed
Makes a pencil-mark swift,
And your credit line comes to an end.

---

A kalashtar who lived in Aundair
Shepherded for a Vadalis heir.
He was skilled both with fleeces
And psychokinesis,
And his shearing was known for its flair.

---

The halflings of Great House Jorasco
Will heal your wounds if you ask so.
With a bandage and spell
All your scrapes will be well
From your last dungeon-crawling fiasco.

---

A young man named Jon d'Deneith
Wears a sword in a finely-wrought sheath.
Though this would, more or less,
Seem to point to prowess,
In a fight he's not yet cut his teeth.

---

A scout with a House Tharashk mark,
Needs no torches to see in the dark.
Down in Khyber's dark halls
He won't bump into walls,
Nor his shins on low juts will he bark.

---

A Lyrandar, courting a maid,
Was a privateer captain by trade.
So he conjured a breeze,
Took her out on the seas,
And a merry young couple they made.

---

That's enough for now, I think...
ENHenry
08-31-04, 11:21 AM The Cleric called Kona went far,
To Khorvaire from the land of Adar.
Though his faith made him tough,
His psionic prowess was buff,
For he was really Kalashtar.

Daelkyr are a terror to behold,
as so the legends have told.
Should you face one of these,
and succeed not to pee,
you are stupid -- or excessively bold.
Saurenda
09-01-04, 11:23 PM :mymy: So many good limmericks, let see if I mess it up this time.

A woman of house Ghallandra
Who was called Cassandra
Came to Cyre one day
And found she would stay
Feeling a pessimistic rah

All hail the Lord of Blades
didn't know how to wade
In the rivers round Cyre so deep
That the bottom would keep
If the construct recieved no aide

Ben came down Cyre
Who's time did expire
The end was quick
And nary a flick
Did raise a purple funeral pyre

There was once artificer Corey
Who had made an Orrey
It showed the direction of each plane
And when they were cotmetric or wane
Despite his worry
ChrisTheS
09-02-04, 01:52 AM Sorry guys... a lot of these are good starts, but the wanton disregard for the limerick meter is really starting to get to me. A limerick may be a loose-form verse, but it's not as loose as all that.

The meter is important. Limericks are supposed to sound sing-song, which isn't possible if they're written in blank verse. In limerick form, there is one rhyming couplet of 8 (or 9, or sometimes 10 if one of the words is 'and,' 'or,' 'the,' or something like that) beats with 3 points of emphasis, followed by a shorter rhyming couplet of five (or six, see above) beats with two points of emphasis, concluded by a single line that follows the same form and rhyme as the first two. Lastly, the whole package has to make sense, even if it is a weird and perverted sense.

An example using the classic opener:

"There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet
Who CAPtured a FROG in a BUCKet.
But it LOOKED so forLORN
That his CONscience was TORN,
And he WENT to the LAKEside to CHUCK it."

No disrespect meant to anyone who hasn't been doing that, and I seriously doubt that the Emerald Claw will beat down your door if you don't conform; but something that follows this format will generally be more amusing (as well as allowing bragging rights for successfully rhyming the harder Dragonmark house names). Plus it won't bug those sad, pathetic people who labor under the misapprehension that this sort of stuff matters :P

This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the Nitpicker Party. We now return you to your regularly scheduled insanity.
Saurenda
09-03-04, 09:05 PM There once was a boy from the boards
Who relied to make members follow coards.
His scheme was lame
And his inability to post, a shame.
Though ChristheS is often borred.

A Sage from Thrane once said
That it is better caught prepared instead
His old friends would turn
and from the werewolves would learn
that they were probably better off dead.

A Druid of Eldeen believed
That the woods of the Reaches could bleed
With scimitar keen
Cut gashes a preen
And soon found he had turned into a weed
ChrisTheS
09-03-04, 10:29 PM In Karrnath there lived a young bard
Who possessed a large Siberys shard.
When it touched his tattoo,
The mark grew and it grew.
Now it's quite the identity card.

---

The Valenar elves are quite mean.
They strike and fade into the green.
And if knowledge you lack
Of where next they'll attack,
You'll be dead before ever they're seen.

---

A sorcerous scion of Thrane
Was considered a right royal pain.
With her dragonblood gifts,
She would cause planar rifts
And, indoors, command it to rain.
Foxboy2000
09-03-04, 11:18 PM Cantors from all over Khorvaire
Are crashing down quite in despair.
Since they couldn't pass
Their Theol'gy class,
Their magic just isn't quite there.
Caelic
09-04-04, 12:53 PM A Warforged who was quite the charmer,
Once courted a Dwarven bed-warmer,
But their marriage was short;
She explained, with a snort:
"He had an affair...with my armor!"
ChrisTheS
09-04-04, 05:26 PM Sawheet... I nominate that one for an award of some sort :)
ChrisTheS
10-05-04, 09:10 PM Verily, this thread must be resurrected.

---

For those wretches who live in the Cogs,
Days are spent in the chopping of logs
To fuel furnace and forge
Which then later disgorge
A large pack of mechanical dogs.

---

A prince on the Lhazaarene sea
Gave the order to cut down a tree.
Though of great age it was,
His men felled it because
"It'll make a great warship," says he.

---

At the crux of the Hilt of the Dagger
Is a city where scoundrels may swagger,
For the Watch of the town
Would prefer much to down
A pint, or fifteen, of strong lager.

---

OK, so they all suck. Gimme a break, I've had a long day :P
RadicalTaoist
10-05-04, 11:14 PM On quori, you'll note the tsucora
Is a fugly and disturbing horra.
If an Inspired Queen
sent one into my dream?
"Please no! Take it back!" I'd implore ha'.

An artificer who was known as Bentley
would produce magic items aplenty.
But Syberis Mark autonomy
destroyed the economy,
and now our poor hero is cent-free.

EDIT: Another!

In normal D&D we're all betting
That dwarves tough it while weak elves are fretting.
But here elves are mean wankers,
while the Mror dwarves are BANKERS!
God I love this brand new campaign setting.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
lukelightning 07-21-04, 11:47 AM	There once was a gnome from Khorvaire Who totally lacked any hair. He went into the woods Trained under some druids. Now he's not only bare, he's a bear. A warforged with the adamant feat Is a foe that is quite hard to beat. Don't whack it with sticks Or even with bricks. Try using "expeditious retreat." There once was a farmer named Arn Who moved to the city of Sharn He had a fear of heights So always got frights Working in his 15th-storey barn. A young changeling named Grace Would constantly reshape her face. Her clothes would not change So she looked awfully strange, As a male half-orc wearing lace.
Vapor IX 07-21-04, 01:12 PM	There once was a Warforged Juggernaut He was very and truly distraught He had stood in the rain And much to his shame He was rusty and squeaked quite a lot EDIT: changed the last line
lukelightning 07-21-04, 01:30 PM	(Vapor: you get bonus points for rhyming "Juggernaut"!) There once was a Shifter named Flo; Animal traits she could grow. Her claws were quite keen, Her fur, a nice sheen. And that's how she got "Best In Show." There once was a striking young lass. Who belonged to the Orien Class. Her rail trips were free, and conducters smiled with glee When she showed 'em the mark on her (posterior) My elemental-bound ship is a nice magical transport device But I found out the reason Why I'm always freezin' I should have bound water, not ice.
Roo 07-21-04, 01:44 PM	lol @ ice :p Good ones! (I would have found a different syllable than 'the' in "best in the show" - it's Best in Show. -- sorry, wife is a dog show nut)
Vapor IX 07-21-04, 02:05 PM	For all those who are reading this thread but too shy to make a limerick, this can help you out: RhymeZone (http://www.rhymezone.com/) It's a phonetic dictionary that will help you find rhyming words and phrases. You know you love it.
Saurenda 07-21-04, 04:06 PM	I remember these from quest for glory and Kings quest and space quest, and just about any other game sierra made witht he word quest in it: Here lie's a girl named Sue Who did not know what she could do One day she was fine till she cross the line And met the pavement below with a "boo hoo" A Cleric of Vol one day preached That his inevitable death would be breached He hoped and he prayed His faith couldn't be swayed Until the day When he suffered a blow from a blade Here lies Juran Comost Follower of the Sovergien Host He was working in the field Instead of raising his shield And upon an arrow's appeal His heart came to a yield I knew a warforged named Mac Who suffered a heart attack He protested and whined And drama did unwind As he gave his party all affects When he preformed a self check The Lord of Blades did say To kill the human race in an amusing way He plotted and schemed Till the twlight gleamed But never bothered to leave the mournlands Jim rode the lighnting rail one day No ride safer House Orien would say He buckled his seat and shuffled his feat When he rode out in Cyre, out in the "Mourning" Allana journeyed to Xen'drik She couldn't find her way back, not one tik And soon she found With Drow all around That she would be staying for supper
Bluebrush 07-21-04, 06:52 PM	There was a fighter named dave Who was quite excessively brave In battle stood tall But poison made fall When he failed his fortitude save
ChrisTheS 07-22-04, 03:38 AM	The priests of the Emerald Claw Tend to operate outside the law. Whether seeking a shard Or deep-sixing a bard, Their behavior can stick in your craw. A thousand Karrnathi undead On the warpath through Cyre did tread. But a warforged platoon Saw them coming too soon And reduced them to ashes instead. A priest of the Thrane Inquisition Has a rather exalted position. He can burn lycanthropes, And then hang with stout ropes Those who grumble and speak of sedition. A Khyber shard is quite a find: With it, elementals you bind. In your masterwork sword With some craft and a word Is more power than what was designed. Meh... the last one's a bit of a stretch... it's late, I'm going to bed.
Blizzard_Bobsan 07-22-04, 03:42 AM	double post
Blizzard_Bobsan 07-22-04, 03:42 AM	A handsome young warforged named Ace, Wooed women of every race, But once ladies glanced at His special enhancement, They vanished with nary a trace. (The tribute goes to the game Alpha Centauri...) edit: fixed some spelling
Bluebrush 07-22-04, 06:22 AM	There was a bold warforged named Tor Who had a low Wisdom score Though constructed so fine He's remains a philistine And he can't complete limericks properly
ieattrollsforbreakfast 07-22-04, 08:20 AM	The once was a Kalastar Who came from a land called Adar He went to Sharn to live in a barn and makes cash playing acoustic guitar. Thats the best I could do ;)
ieattrollsforbreakfast 07-22-04, 08:20 AM	The once was a Kalashtar Who came from a land called Adar He went to Sharn to live in a barn and makes cash playing acoustic guitar. Thats the best I could do ;)
lukelightning 07-22-04, 09:09 AM	A daring young druid named Dorred Has a badger in nature quite horrid. It has bone-crushing jaws, acidic claws, and razor-sharp spines on its forehead.
Sulaco 07-22-04, 03:38 PM	There once was a warforged named Bob Who worked a security job To pass the time, He'd write silly rhymes, Will sitting there playing with his knobs
Serpentine 07-22-04, 09:26 PM	This is an awesome thread! A dragonmarked heir of Thuranni Met a dwarf known as Iron Johnny Who said, "Illusions can't hide it, It must be your diet That makes all of you elves so scrawny." There once was a gnome of Zilargo Who cleverly ducked an embargo He ran caravans down to old Korranberg town and hid in his pants the whole cargo. A young shifter traveled to Aerenal But soon found himself barin' all His clothes eaten by moths, He gasped, "What? You're all goths?!" And instead grew out his hair and all.
ChrisTheS 07-23-04, 02:35 AM	By the light of a mystical lamp, An adventurer crawls through the damp, With a parcel to bear To a dragonmark heir Too cheap for an Orien stamp. --- 'tween the Dragons Above and Below, An interminous conflict did grow. But the Dragon Between Went and made such a scene That the both of them had to lay low. --- In Karrnath, or so I am told, Lives a king who is much, much too old. Though about twenty-four At the start of the War Nowadays he's a century Vol'd.
okaynowa 07-23-04, 05:02 AM	A cruel ogre thug on the laam Found steady work in Droaam Now he's polite As a Silver Flame knight Serve a hag and it's yes or no, maam! The innkeeper said, "Sir, I guess From your beard and the style of your dress You're the dwarf who was sent To tally the rent?" The changeling replied, "Mror or less." A Cyrene exile in Q'barra Kept to d'straight and d'narra. "I'll find me a way Through the jungle today And retake the Mournlands t'marra." A clawfoot rider from Talenta Dressed his dino in puce and magenta. When asked why he chose Such outrageous clothes The halfling said "Visual dementia." A hobgoblin chief from Darguun Swore by the eleventh muun That his troops wouldn't tire, "We'll rebuild the empire! Sure, not tomorrow, but suun."
Galen_Michael 08-13-04, 01:54 AM	I just found this thread and firmly believe it needs resurrecting :) A Silver Flame cleric from Thrane Hopped aboard a lightning rail train But the journey was fraught With those from Xoriat And the daelkyr did drive him insane. A werewolf from great Argonnessen Felt guilty and did some confessin’ To a priest of the Flame Who then did exclaim (as he slew him) “You’ve now learned your lesson!” And Inspired young girl named Ramona Who hailed from far off Sarlona Came one day to Khorvaire Though she soon did despair Once the Kalashtar found her and owned’a
Save_vs_DM 08-13-04, 03:24 AM	To forge a mark of Sivis Is indeed a dangerous mess It's difficult in the extreme And and as dangerous a dream OF forcing a Daelkyr into a pink party dress ------- There once was a councilor undying Who could never be accused of not trying For after a pure maiden he did lust But in him she did not trust So he looks up her skirt by scrying. ------- The Lord of Blades is quite mean His hands will pull out your splean But oh the shame Of his one private game His lover is an eldrich machine ------- There once was a Sentinel of house Deneith Who had lost all but one of his teeth Of this he was quite proud For he stood out in a crowd For he was a Baker named Keith (Sorry, I just had to do it. You know we love ya, Kieth) ------- They say the Cult of the Dragon Below Puts on a mighty good show With whoops and hollers Clad in black leather collars Dance the all naked medusa tableau That's all for now, Cheers, Save vs DM
WotC_Doog 08-19-04, 12:29 PM	Great thread. Please excuse my unworthy offerings: There once was an ornery ankheg Who burrowed up through a man’s pant leg An onlooker named Mimi Asked “So you’re happy to see me?” And they discussed it over a beer keg. An adventuring chap name of Leland Had a map labeled “Island of Breland” When he got there he saw ‘em —Peter Jackson and Gollum!— And he knew it was really New Zealand.
Bluebrush 08-20-04, 04:53 PM	To bear the mark of the storm You must be Lyrandar born I know it's unfair That marks are so rare But please don't look so forlorn! There was a young bard from Darguun Who played a melodious basoon Her concerts are free If lycanthrope you be Music by the light of the moon!
ChrisTheS 08-20-04, 06:07 PM	Beneath a stone crypt in Aundair Lives a vampire, proud of his hair. "I will not," says the bat, "ever buy me a hat. 'twould be shameful to hide locks so fair."
ChrisTheS 08-31-04, 02:48 AM	Since my last set appears to have vanished... I'll try to recollect them. --- If toward the Mror Holds you should wend, Take a care of the dwarves you offend: For a Kundarak miffed Makes a pencil-mark swift, And your credit line comes to an end. --- A kalashtar who lived in Aundair Shepherded for a Vadalis heir. He was skilled both with fleeces And psychokinesis, And his shearing was known for its flair. --- The halflings of Great House Jorasco Will heal your wounds if you ask so. With a bandage and spell All your scrapes will be well From your last dungeon-crawling fiasco. --- A young man named Jon d'Deneith Wears a sword in a finely-wrought sheath. Though this would, more or less, Seem to point to prowess, In a fight he's not yet cut his teeth. --- A scout with a House Tharashk mark, Needs no torches to see in the dark. Down in Khyber's dark halls He won't bump into walls, Nor his shins on low juts will he bark. --- A Lyrandar, courting a maid, Was a privateer captain by trade. So he conjured a breeze, Took her out on the seas, And a merry young couple they made. --- That's enough for now, I think...
ENHenry 08-31-04, 11:21 AM	The Cleric called Kona went far, To Khorvaire from the land of Adar. Though his faith made him tough, His psionic prowess was buff, For he was really Kalashtar. Daelkyr are a terror to behold, as so the legends have told. Should you face one of these, and succeed not to pee, you are stupid -- or excessively bold.
Saurenda 09-01-04, 11:23 PM	:mymy: So many good limmericks, let see if I mess it up this time. A woman of house Ghallandra Who was called Cassandra Came to Cyre one day And found she would stay Feeling a pessimistic rah All hail the Lord of Blades didn't know how to wade In the rivers round Cyre so deep That the bottom would keep If the construct recieved no aide Ben came down Cyre Who's time did expire The end was quick And nary a flick Did raise a purple funeral pyre There was once artificer Corey Who had made an Orrey It showed the direction of each plane And when they were cotmetric or wane Despite his worry
ChrisTheS 09-02-04, 01:52 AM	Sorry guys... a lot of these are good starts, but the wanton disregard for the limerick meter is really starting to get to me. A limerick may be a loose-form verse, but it's not as loose as all that. The meter is important. Limericks are supposed to sound sing-song, which isn't possible if they're written in blank verse. In limerick form, there is one rhyming couplet of 8 (or 9, or sometimes 10 if one of the words is 'and,' 'or,' 'the,' or something like that) beats with 3 points of emphasis, followed by a shorter rhyming couplet of five (or six, see above) beats with two points of emphasis, concluded by a single line that follows the same form and rhyme as the first two. Lastly, the whole package has to make sense, even if it is a weird and perverted sense. An example using the classic opener: "There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet Who CAPtured a FROG in a BUCKet. But it LOOKED so forLORN That his CONscience was TORN, And he WENT to the LAKEside to CHUCK it." No disrespect meant to anyone who hasn't been doing that, and I seriously doubt that the Emerald Claw will beat down your door if you don't conform; but something that follows this format will generally be more amusing (as well as allowing bragging rights for successfully rhyming the harder Dragonmark house names). Plus it won't bug those sad, pathetic people who labor under the misapprehension that this sort of stuff matters :P This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the Nitpicker Party. We now return you to your regularly scheduled insanity.
Saurenda 09-03-04, 09:05 PM	There once was a boy from the boards Who relied to make members follow coards. His scheme was lame And his inability to post, a shame. Though ChristheS is often borred. A Sage from Thrane once said That it is better caught prepared instead His old friends would turn and from the werewolves would learn that they were probably better off dead. A Druid of Eldeen believed That the woods of the Reaches could bleed With scimitar keen Cut gashes a preen And soon found he had turned into a weed
ChrisTheS 09-03-04, 10:29 PM	In Karrnath there lived a young bard Who possessed a large Siberys shard. When it touched his tattoo, The mark grew and it grew. Now it's quite the identity card. --- The Valenar elves are quite mean. They strike and fade into the green. And if knowledge you lack Of where next they'll attack, You'll be dead before ever they're seen. --- A sorcerous scion of Thrane Was considered a right royal pain. With her dragonblood gifts, She would cause planar rifts And, indoors, command it to rain.
Foxboy2000 09-03-04, 11:18 PM	Cantors from all over Khorvaire Are crashing down quite in despair. Since they couldn't pass Their Theol'gy class, Their magic just isn't quite there.
Caelic 09-04-04, 12:53 PM	A Warforged who was quite the charmer, Once courted a Dwarven bed-warmer, But their marriage was short; She explained, with a snort: "He had an affair...with my armor!"
ChrisTheS 09-04-04, 05:26 PM	Sawheet... I nominate that one for an award of some sort :)
ChrisTheS 10-05-04, 09:10 PM	Verily, this thread must be resurrected. --- For those wretches who live in the Cogs, Days are spent in the chopping of logs To fuel furnace and forge Which then later disgorge A large pack of mechanical dogs. --- A prince on the Lhazaarene sea Gave the order to cut down a tree. Though of great age it was, His men felled it because "It'll make a great warship," says he. --- At the crux of the Hilt of the Dagger Is a city where scoundrels may swagger, For the Watch of the town Would prefer much to down A pint, or fifteen, of strong lager. --- OK, so they all suck. Gimme a break, I've had a long day :P
RadicalTaoist 10-05-04, 11:14 PM	On quori, you'll note the tsucora Is a fugly and disturbing horra. If an Inspired Queen sent one into my dream? "Please no! Take it back!" I'd implore ha'. An artificer who was known as Bentley would produce magic items aplenty. But Syberis Mark autonomy destroyed the economy, and now our poor hero is cent-free. EDIT: Another! In normal D&D we're all betting That dwarves tough it while weak elves are fretting. But here elves are mean wankers, while the Mror dwarves are BANKERS! God I love this brand new campaign setting.