Full of Crunchy Goodness ^.^ [Archive] - Wizards Community

Full of Crunchy Goodness ^.^ [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Ironhandjack
02-09-07, 02:04 PM Howdy all, just thought I'd stop by the boards and say that I'm new to the Ebberon setting but so far with what I've read I think its nifty cool and plan on running a game fairly soon. AND while I was looking over the stuff I thought it would be kind of cool to run a game during the Last War, or at least the very end of it right before the Mourning is created. I did a little research on the whole pulp style of the setting and decided that a kinda nifty way to get that feeling across was to write my adventures up as a sort of screen play, and being the kinda guy I am I'm always looking for input so I wanted to post what I had so far for my intro just to see what the boardies here thought about it and whether or not it got the whole actiony thing across. SO without any further ado!
^.^

(The PC's are part of a battalion out near Cyre a long battle has just taken place and ended with both parties withdrawing into their camps, battered and bruised. A young noble has come to see how his father is fairing in the war and resides in camp under heavy guard.)

Mourning Flames: The Last War

FADE IN:

EXT. - THE GOLDEN BANDS OF SYBERIS BEGIN TO SHIMMER SOFTLY IN THE SKY OVERLOOKING A RED DUSK UPON A FIELD OF BROKEN AND SMOLDERING BATTLEMENTS, A CALM BETWEEN STORMS.

PAN ACROSS FIELD A FORTIFIED ENCAMPMENT APPEARS IN DISARRAY, DIM CAMP FIRES LITTER THE SMALL BATTLEMENT WITH FEW SOLDIERS, MANY WOUNDED, AND ALL IN POOR MORALE.

THE ONLY SOUNDS ARE THE CRACK AND POP OF SMOLDERING FIRE IN THE FIELDS BEYOND, AND THE COUGHING AND MOANING OF THE INJURED WITHIN CAMP. THE SINGLE STREAK OF A GOLDEN STAR TEARS ACROSS THE SKY AND DIES BEYOND THE HORIZON AS NIGHT GRIPS THE BATTLEFIELD, AND THE SCENE SETTLES ON A LARGE TENT, HEAVILY GUARDED WITHIN THE CENTER OF THE CAMP.

(THE TENT EXPLODES OUTWARD THROWING FLAMES ACROSS THE CAMP LIGHTING ABLAZE THE SOLDIERS RUNNING TOWARDS THE SCENE AND MELTING ARMOR TO THE BONES OF THE GUARDS AS THEY FALL SCREAMING IN PAIN TO BURN ALIVE, A BLACK STREAK BURSTS UP THROUGH THE ROLLING FLAMES CARRING A SHRIEKING CHILD INTO THE SKY, FLAMES TRAIL UPWARD WITH THE MOVEMENT AND BURST FALLING TO THE EARTH AS EMBERS, THE SHRIEK FADES AWAY INTO THE NIGHT FAR AWAY AS THE BLACK BLUR BRIEFLY SHOWS AGAINST SYBERIS' RINGS)

Still Burning Guard: The child!!!! (HE SHRIEKS HIS LAST WORDS AND BURNS TO DEATH GARGLING BLOOD WITH THE NAME UPON HIS LIPS)

THE ENTIRE CAMP ALIVE WITH THE EXPLOSION ATTEMPTS TO KEEP THE FLAMES FROM SPREADING, GUARDS START RUSHING TOWARD THE BURNING REMAINS OF THE TENT, REALIZING NOW THAT GENERAL'S CHILD HAS BEEN ABDUCTED AND HIS FATHER LAY BURNT TO ASH WITHIN THE STILL SMOLDERING TENT.

>.> Well thats kinda all I have so far, hit me back and tell me what ya think. o.o be gentle.
Ironhandjack
02-10-07, 11:11 AM Rawr, does it suck that bad v.v
Korhal_IV
02-10-07, 03:20 PM All caps is a pain on the eyes.

Also, keep in mind that screenplays are pretty tightly scripted - not a lot of room for characters to innovate and diverge from the path. May cause problems if your players don't think exactly like you do.
Edymnion
02-10-07, 03:21 PM Rawr, does it suck that bad v.vNo, but what does it have to do with the title? Its not full of crunchy goodness, it doesn't have any crunch in it at all.

Crunch = Mechanics. Crunch is what you ask for when you want to know what kind of bonus someone gets to a skill check, or how much a magic sword costs.

Fluff = Flavor. Fluff is what you ask for when you want help/opinions on descriptions and story.

The most likely reason you aren't getting any replies is because you have a misleading title. The people that like to help with fluff aren't coming in because your thread specifically says there is no fluff here. The people that are coming in are expecting mechanics, and find nothing but fluff, and are leaving dissappointed.

I would suggest that you change the thread name to something that actually reflects the content of the thread, like "Help with setting up campaign flavor". That way, the people that actually want to help will know that this is a thread that is requesting their attention.

What you've got now is essentially the same as making a thread called "I love football!" and then going into a discussion on your mouse being broken.
Ironhandjack
02-10-07, 09:37 PM Whoops! my bad. v.v Sorry Endymnion :embarrass
So its fluffy goodness.

Also, keep in mind that screenplays are pretty tightly scripted - not a lot of room for characters to innovate and diverge from the path. May cause problems if your players don't think exactly like you do.

>.> Actually the only parts I'm writing like that are gonna be intro's and descriptive texts at the start of new areas, or triggered events that the PC's may run across or that will definately happen. Otherwise I'm mostly gonna wing it. ^.^

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Ironhandjack 02-09-07, 02:04 PM	Howdy all, just thought I'd stop by the boards and say that I'm new to the Ebberon setting but so far with what I've read I think its nifty cool and plan on running a game fairly soon. AND while I was looking over the stuff I thought it would be kind of cool to run a game during the Last War, or at least the very end of it right before the Mourning is created. I did a little research on the whole pulp style of the setting and decided that a kinda nifty way to get that feeling across was to write my adventures up as a sort of screen play, and being the kinda guy I am I'm always looking for input so I wanted to post what I had so far for my intro just to see what the boardies here thought about it and whether or not it got the whole actiony thing across. SO without any further ado! ^.^ (The PC's are part of a battalion out near Cyre a long battle has just taken place and ended with both parties withdrawing into their camps, battered and bruised. A young noble has come to see how his father is fairing in the war and resides in camp under heavy guard.) Mourning Flames: The Last War FADE IN: EXT. - THE GOLDEN BANDS OF SYBERIS BEGIN TO SHIMMER SOFTLY IN THE SKY OVERLOOKING A RED DUSK UPON A FIELD OF BROKEN AND SMOLDERING BATTLEMENTS, A CALM BETWEEN STORMS. PAN ACROSS FIELD A FORTIFIED ENCAMPMENT APPEARS IN DISARRAY, DIM CAMP FIRES LITTER THE SMALL BATTLEMENT WITH FEW SOLDIERS, MANY WOUNDED, AND ALL IN POOR MORALE. THE ONLY SOUNDS ARE THE CRACK AND POP OF SMOLDERING FIRE IN THE FIELDS BEYOND, AND THE COUGHING AND MOANING OF THE INJURED WITHIN CAMP. THE SINGLE STREAK OF A GOLDEN STAR TEARS ACROSS THE SKY AND DIES BEYOND THE HORIZON AS NIGHT GRIPS THE BATTLEFIELD, AND THE SCENE SETTLES ON A LARGE TENT, HEAVILY GUARDED WITHIN THE CENTER OF THE CAMP. (THE TENT EXPLODES OUTWARD THROWING FLAMES ACROSS THE CAMP LIGHTING ABLAZE THE SOLDIERS RUNNING TOWARDS THE SCENE AND MELTING ARMOR TO THE BONES OF THE GUARDS AS THEY FALL SCREAMING IN PAIN TO BURN ALIVE, A BLACK STREAK BURSTS UP THROUGH THE ROLLING FLAMES CARRING A SHRIEKING CHILD INTO THE SKY, FLAMES TRAIL UPWARD WITH THE MOVEMENT AND BURST FALLING TO THE EARTH AS EMBERS, THE SHRIEK FADES AWAY INTO THE NIGHT FAR AWAY AS THE BLACK BLUR BRIEFLY SHOWS AGAINST SYBERIS' RINGS) Still Burning Guard: The child!!!! (HE SHRIEKS HIS LAST WORDS AND BURNS TO DEATH GARGLING BLOOD WITH THE NAME UPON HIS LIPS) THE ENTIRE CAMP ALIVE WITH THE EXPLOSION ATTEMPTS TO KEEP THE FLAMES FROM SPREADING, GUARDS START RUSHING TOWARD THE BURNING REMAINS OF THE TENT, REALIZING NOW THAT GENERAL'S CHILD HAS BEEN ABDUCTED AND HIS FATHER LAY BURNT TO ASH WITHIN THE STILL SMOLDERING TENT. >.> Well thats kinda all I have so far, hit me back and tell me what ya think. o.o be gentle.
Ironhandjack 02-10-07, 11:11 AM	Rawr, does it suck that bad v.v
Korhal_IV 02-10-07, 03:20 PM	All caps is a pain on the eyes. Also, keep in mind that screenplays are pretty tightly scripted - not a lot of room for characters to innovate and diverge from the path. May cause problems if your players don't think exactly like you do.
Edymnion 02-10-07, 03:21 PM	Rawr, does it suck that bad v.vNo, but what does it have to do with the title? Its not full of crunchy goodness, it doesn't have any crunch in it at all. Crunch = Mechanics. Crunch is what you ask for when you want to know what kind of bonus someone gets to a skill check, or how much a magic sword costs. Fluff = Flavor. Fluff is what you ask for when you want help/opinions on descriptions and story. The most likely reason you aren't getting any replies is because you have a misleading title. The people that like to help with fluff aren't coming in because your thread specifically says there is no fluff here. The people that are coming in are expecting mechanics, and find nothing but fluff, and are leaving dissappointed. I would suggest that you change the thread name to something that actually reflects the content of the thread, like "Help with setting up campaign flavor". That way, the people that actually want to help will know that this is a thread that is requesting their attention. What you've got now is essentially the same as making a thread called "I love football!" and then going into a discussion on your mouse being broken.
Ironhandjack 02-10-07, 09:37 PM	Whoops! my bad. v.v Sorry Endymnion :embarrass So its fluffy goodness. Also, keep in mind that screenplays are pretty tightly scripted - not a lot of room for characters to innovate and diverge from the path. May cause problems if your players don't think exactly like you do. >.> Actually the only parts I'm writing like that are gonna be intro's and descriptive texts at the start of new areas, or triggered events that the PC's may run across or that will definately happen. Otherwise I'm mostly gonna wing it. ^.^