[humor] 1001+ Things that the worst party in Eberron is forbidden from doing... [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTimePost
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 01:33 AM		I was writing up bad examples of play from my games and it sort of took off....A LOT of these are true sadly or from in game conversation.

From Captain Jarlot, Pirate at arms....

Activities that the Crew of the Airship Forgotten Freedom are Forbidden from engaging in

1. Do not attempt to rub nair over the shifter first mate while she is asleep.

2. Do not taunt Cardinal Krozen about his inability to capture/kill the Crew. It's not bad, just tacky.

3. Do not taunt the The Lords of Dust about their inability to capture the Crew. It really should be bad, but it's not. Still tacky.

4. Do not taunt Queen Aurala about her inability to capture the Crew. Otherwise she'll stamp her foot and pout.

5. Do not shoot the villain while he's monologuing, no matter how long he takes.

6. There will be NO referring to King Kaius as Mein Furher or goosestepping to his orders.

7. Even if he speaks in a thick German accent.

8. Even if the secret service wears jack boots.

9. Even if they're seeking the Ark.

10. ALRIGHT, THEY'RE NAZIS...SWEET TIRA MIRRON.

11. The Captain forbids the Elf from referring to Tira Mirron as a "Great Lay", "The Feisty Wench", and "The Naughty Girl who liked to lick."

12. The crew will not attempt to make the Paladin break his vows.

13. The crew will not point out the Paladin has already done so by being on a Pirate ship.

14. The crew will not use the Forgotten Freedom to buzz dinosaurs.

15. No matter how cool they look when they scamper.

16. ESPECIALLY NOT during halfling festival days.

17. The Lord of Blades does not need to see the Wizard for a heart.

18. He does not need oiling when it rains, nor is this an effective battle strategy against him.

19. Nor does he need a diploma, medal, or any combination of these things.

20. The Lord of Blades is not to be referred to as "Skippy"

21. Nor is Pontiff Jaela

22. Even if she skips alot.

23. Queen Aurala is not the Wicked Witch of the West

24. Even if she is a witch and lives in the West and is of dubious morality.

25. Throwing water on her is not a means of "Undoing her wickedness"

26. Pontiff Jaela is not to be referred to as "Lolita"

27. Nor will she be referred to as "Major Hot Babe when she grows up."

28. ...even if she will be.

29. Erandis D'Vol cannot be stopped by dropping a House on her.

30. Nor can Queen Aurala.

31. King Boranal will not be invited to Frat Keggers or Orgies with Changeling Girls.

32. Even if he's game.

33. King Kaius is not the last boss in the Castlevania series.

34. Nor is his mortal enemy Simon Belmont.

35. It is wrong to cast magic mouth spells to play "The Phantom of the Opera" when he enters the room.

36. Or eat garlic pizza before talking to him.

37. Or hold up mirrors behind him while mouthing the word "Vampire."

38. Queen Aurala is not to be referred to as Glinda.

39. You cannot summon a Rajah by saying 'Hastur' three times.

40. Or a Daelkyr by saying "Candyman" into a mirror.

41. Dolgrim's do not have one head that always lies and one that always tells the truth.

42. The Aerenal elves will not be referred to as "The creepy Goth elves."

43. Nor are the Deathless described as "Undead who all dress like they're in a 70s glam rock band."

44. We will not rob the Lightning Rail wearing scarves on our faces.

45. If we do, we won't claim to be trying to conduct a Time Travel experiment.

46. Even if we are.

47. Valenar Elves are not to be called "Romulans"

48. You will not compare a Valenar Elves' performance to Legolas

49. Even if Legolas could do it much better.

50. I am the reincarnation of King Jarlot, none of you are.

51. I will not attempt to restart the Great War for "kicks"

52. Dwarves will not be referred to as "The Swiss."

53. Even if they have fine chocolate and good cheezes.

54. No, it is a rumor you can conquer Aundair by simply walking into it.

55. It is wrong to use Ventriloquism to predict the end of the world in a cathedral in Thrane.

56. The Quori are not to be referred to as "The Q" or are their activities from "The Q Continium."

57. The changeling is forbidden from deliberately appearing as Earth celebrities she has no idea exist.

58. Darguun are not to be called "Klingons."

59. Even if they have swords suspiciously similiar to them.

60. Riedra is not Japan or China or any other Oriental culture, so I cannot go there to spot me some Asian Chicks.

61. The Monk will also not use the word "WO PAW!" after every strike.

62. Shifters cannot be Catgirls.

63. Or Foxgirls.

64. OR BUNNY GIRLS.

65. Even if they were I could not make a mansion of them and sell their pictorials.

66. When conducting robberies, I will not give wedgies to Dragonshard house nobles because they 'richly deserve it.'

67. Merrix D'Cannith is not to be referred to as "Lex Luthor, greatest crimminal mastermind inventor of the 11th century!"

68. Even if he's bald, an inventor, and a supervillain.

69. Q'barra is not the home of voodoo, plantations, or good cajun cooking.

70. Kobolds are not to be called "Spot", "Fido", or "Rover"

71. Nor will you attempt to teach them 'tricks'

72. Kobolds do not speak in an accent similiar to Ren nor do they say things like "It is not I who am crazy, it is I who am MAD!"

73. There will be no characters accepted who are Lysander Bugbear pilots named Baloo.

74. Nor will lovable kid sidekicks named Cloudkicker with Tenser Floating Disks.

75. You will not refer to a wand of fireballs as your "Boom Stick"

76. The Mockery is not your Copilot.

77. Nor the Traveller.

78. Queen Aurala is not to be referred to as the "Virgin Queen" in a derogitory manner.

79. Any rumors that such a name is inappropriate because of me is to be squashed.

80. Halflings of Clan Boramar are not to speak like they're Italian or in the Godfather.

81. Nor is Joe Peschi a Halfling.

82. Even if he claims so.

83. You cannot play four Turtle Ninja Shifters.

84. It is wrong to refer to King Boranal's daughter as a fine piece of ***

85. Even if she is.

86. I will not attempt to turn the Forgotten Freedom into a Pimp Mobile

87. The Gods of Eberron do not fail to appear on the earthly plane because I am "THAT" badass...

88. Kalashatyr are not to be referred to as the Tokra.

89. Nor the Quori as G'ould.

90. We are not the Crew of Firefly.

91. Nor Blake's 7.

92. Even if an Alliance is Chasing us.

93. I am to be referred to as Captain Jarlot not "Jack Sparrow" or "Keith Richards"

94. Even if there's a frightening resemblance sometimes.

95. Xen'drick is not to be referred to as "The land of stereotyped minorities brought to light by the glories of colonialism."

96. Pontiff Jaela is not to be referred to as "Ruri" or "Rei Ayanami"

97. No, you cannot wear the pope hat.

98. Even if she lets you.

99. It is wrong to attempt to make the Lord of Blades sing "Daisy"

100. He is not to be referred to as R.O.B.B.I.E or any other warforged.

101. No, I cannot stencil in a Dragonmark for powers.

102. Especially not the Dragonmark of Death

Feel free to add in other activities you can think of. It's best to head this party off before they can think of something else!
Gnome_Dragon_Disciple

09-23-05, 02:04 AM		Good god I wish either I played in your party or your players played in mine...
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 02:33 AM		.Thanks, here's some more that are mostly true

104. Repeat after me, I did not cause the Day of Mourning.

105. I am not Batman

106. The Demon Wastes will not be referred to as "Athas"

107. A Mel Gibson look alike is not driving around The Mournland in a V8.

108. What most Mourners do not need is "A good slap"

109. Sieg Heil is not the correct manner of greeting King Kaius.

110. Being a pirate does not make me the ultimate enemy of Ninjas.

111. Being a pirate does not make Boo Radely our King or the Mockingbird something we must figure out how to kill.

112. The proper response to a defeated foe offering surrender is not

"ALL YOUR BASE, ARE BELONG TO US!"

113. Or

"YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO DESTRUCTION!"
"HAHAHAHAHA."

114. Even if I laugh like hell.

115. There is not a secret plot to combine Dark Sun and the Council of Wyrms and the Flanaes into one setting on Eberron to save money.

116. Even if they did it with Forgotten Realms

117. You shall not argue the merits of the attractive paladin turning tricks "for the good of the party."

118. Bards are not to be shot on sight for being worthless.

119. Nor shall Gnomes.

120. The Gnomes of Zilargo are not the cast from Cruel Intentions and every soap opera in history.

121. People from the Eldeen Reaches do not have Plaid outfits and talk like Hillbillies.

122. I will not make "You might be from the Eldeen Reaches" lists.

123. Making only the Orcs like this is not a substitute.

124. The Aurrum are not led by Blofeld.

125. Or Doctor Evil.

126. Austin Powers is not a member of the King's Citadel.

127. James Bond is.

128. I will never under ANY circumstances shout "My name is Indigo Montoya, You killed my father. Prepare to die"

129. Even if they did.

130. You will not try and hum the 2001 theme when encountering Quori monoliths.

131. Boris and Natasha do not work for Karrnath.

132. King Kaius is not to be referred to as "Fearless Leader"

133. Moose and Squirrel are not good codenames for the party when doing undercover work against them.

134. The Wardens of the Forrest are not to be referred to as the Harpers.

135. Nor are they lead by Elminster.

136. I will not when meeting Kalashatyr shout "Wait, I've met you before in the ancient civilization of the Giants in a previous life. Yes, ATLANTIS!"

137. Even if I did.

138. I will not attempt to rescue party members from the Realm of the Dead by saying to the Maruts "You know a guy thirty miles away is trying to sneek a way a soul. He's invisible so look really for an hour."

139. If the condition for releasing a party member is not to look back at them. Do not simply stick your hands behind your head to block your vision and claim it works.

140. You are not in 8-bit nor is "Haddokken" or "Stabbity death" a answer for anything.

141. I will not build a spelljammer to surf on the Ring of Siberys.

142. I will not use Khyber shards to summon Elvis.

143. Warforged are not to be my butlers.

144. The Chamber is not to be called "The Dragonati"

145. Rakashasas are not members of the Masons or effette British Indian Colonialists.

146. Sharn is not "New York only more flying carpets"

147. The Gatekeepers are not an anime about communist fears of Japan.

148. The proper battle cry for a female moonspeaker is not "IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I WILL PUNISH YOU!"

149. Even if you are a SAILOR Moonspeaker

150. House Cannith is not Shin-ra nor is it possible to find Aeris selling flowers in Sharn.

151. Being from Karrnath is not reason enough to wear a German barmaid's outfit.

152. Especially if you are a man.

153. As a child, Queen Aurala did not have a gingerbread house that she lured you to try and eat you.

154. If she does own a magic mirror, it's not to scry the land so she can put to sleep girls who are more attractive than her or lock them in towers.

155. You will not shout "my ass" when talk of her benevolent rule is spoken.

156. The Thrane Royal Family will not be referred to as "the most useless monarchy since Britains."

157. Even if one of you happens to be a subject of the Queen of England (and Canada)

158. Merrix D'Cannith is not building a giant *fingerwag* laser on one of the moons.

159. You will not pretend to be Boranal's bastard son.

160. Even if it's 50-50 likely.

161. You will not try and use the Silver Flame to roast marshmellows.

162. Or weenies.

163. You will not ask if you can put a rotessary over it.

164. BBQ over it does not taste better because of that 'spiritual goodness.'

165. I will not claim to have had sex with Dol Arrah

166. Or Arawai.

167. Or the Fury

168. Especially not at once.

167. Elves do not react to dog whistles.

168. Kobolds do.

169. Erandis D'Vol is not "Vecna's teenage Goth daughter."

170. No I cannot import kender via the Plane of Shadows to leave a mark of fear and terrror across the land.

171. Five warforged cannot join together with five magic medallions to become Voltron.

172. It is wrong to tell warforged this.

173. The Blood of Vol did not get started by the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

174. Breland's Collosus of Freedom does not have "Give me your rich, your pretty, and your gulliable" on her tablet.

175. The airship's mechanic shall not be referred to as "Cid"

176. Dragonshards will not be referred to as "Materia"

177. Or Mana.

178. You will not hum the Legend of Zelda theme while walking

179. It is not a compliment to toss catnip on shifters and watch them trip out.

180. Argonessan is not Australia, I don't know where you got the idea and all dragons do not suddenly talk like the Crocodile Hunter.

181. Jedi is not an acceptable prestige class because all things can be found in Eberron.

182. Nor can you refer to the bugbear as Chewie.

183. Cyre will not mutate superintelligent apes and they will eventually replace us all so we might as well blow the planet now.

184. The Emerald Claw is a frightening group of terrorists and undead worshippers, they are not to be judged by the fact their name sounds like a strip club or oriental restaurant.

185. When the Quori view my dreams I cannot imagine them stomped on by Godzilla to kill them.

186. The Tarrasque is not Godzilla...IN ANY WORLD.

187. Bone Knights should not be challenged by saying "You get a real boner for combat huh?"

188. the proper response for a mysterious NPC giving a mission is to not spit whiskey on them and then set them on fire.

189. Booty from treasure hunts will not be referred to as "bling bling."

190. When we see a distress signal we do not say "F*** that! We're taking this boat to Risa."

191. It's wrong to capture Dinosaurs and try to open a park on some island near Xen'drick.

192. The proper response when meeting the son of Queen Aurala is not to say "You know your mom's a real **** right?"

193. If Queen Aurala is ever successfully kidnapped, you will not try her for witchcraft by putting a fake nose on her and weighing her against a duck.

194. Jaela's birthday six years from now will not be a cause for celebration because she turns 'legal'

195. You will not beat the crazzap out of Royal Eyes members on principle.

196. Or causally announce their status as spies in crowded marketplaces.

197. Putting up your cloak in blood daylight does not add +1 to your Hide/Sneak check.

198. The Day of Mourning did not result in mass mutations that created the Eberron version of the X-men

199. Or the Incredible Hulk.

200. You will not pistol whip Prince Jurian.

201. Unless I order you too.

202. Queen Aurala is not even a Magic user! Why the hell do you keep making the Witch jokes!?

201. Prince Oargev's name is not a euphemism for his sexual leanings.

202. Cyre was not Naboo nor was the Day of Mourning righteous revenge for the Prequels.

203. The Daughters of Sora Kell are not a Lilith Fair band.

204. You will not ask any Rakashasa Prince to endorse frosted flakes by saying "They'reee GREAAAAAT!"
Twinblades

09-23-05, 03:49 AM		:D

I've read a lot of "humour" threads on these boards, but that's the first one that's genuinely made me LOL!

(Which isn't necessarily a good thing as I'm reading it at work and now people are looking at me funny...)

Keep up the good work!!
Eronthar

09-23-05, 03:56 AM		:D

I've read a lot of "humour" threads on these boards, but that's the first one that's genuinely made me LOL!

(Which isn't necessarily a good thing as I'm reading it at work and now people are looking at me funny...)

Keep up the good work!!

Same here! Can i copy this and give my players before the game? :D
greatmonkey

09-23-05, 03:57 AM		Hilarious. I loved reading this. I'll definately recommend it to people I know. lol...
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 04:01 AM		Same here! Can i copy this and give my players before the game? :D

Go ahead.

I hope people will add to it.

I personally am not hardly done with the misadventures of the Cap'n and his crew.

205. You may shorten my rank to Cap'n, however my surname is Jarlot, not "Crunch"

for example

;-)
Lup1n3

09-23-05, 05:29 AM		Absolutely fantastic!



Yoink!

206. You may not hang five warforged from the keel to make a Newton's cradle.

207. That right is reserved for me and me alone.
Straylight

09-23-05, 10:37 AM		All the stuff on this list is based on or inspired by things that my players have actually done. Scary, innit?



208. You will not build a stepladder into the Warforged.

209. Or a bucket seat.

210. Or an umbrella.

211. The Warforged is not a nutcracker.

212. Nor can he light fires by snapping his fingers.

213. You will not refer to Esravash as “that old windbag”

214. The Warforged will not be referred to as “Johnny 5.”

215. The Artificer will not be referred to as “Macguyver” unless that is his name.

216. You may not name an Artificer “Macguyver.”

217. You are not Indiana Jones, this is not the Temple of Doom.

218. Even if is looks like it.

219. You will not randomly push people off bridges in Sharn “to see if gravity still works.”

220. You are not Korben Dallas.

221. You are not named Gar ir’Baldi, and you are not the security chief of Argonth 5.

222. …though that’s not a bad idea for a campaign.

223. Aerenal Elves are not to be referred to as “Hot Topic Elves”

224. You will not greet Valenar Elves by yelling “Ya Hya Chouhada!”

225. Valenar Elves do not speak with a bad Middle Eastern accent.

226. …or “praise allah.”

227. You may not be the gnomish bard who invented the saxophone.

228. There is no football stadium in Sharn, and Sharn’s team does not have Juggernaught linemen.

229. Your Boots of Striding and Springing do not have the “swoosh” logo on them.

230. Dragons are not Vorlons.

231. Daelkyr are not Shadows.

232. The Tarrasque will not be reffered to as “Mr. T.”

233. Mr. T. will not be imitated under any circumstances.

234. Nor will MC Hammer.

235. Or Michael Jackson.

236. Singing “Thriller” or “Living Dead Girl” in the company of Aerenal Elves is not acceptable.

237. The Changeling will not use the Warforged to break his fall.

238. Your Shifter was not an original cast member of “CATS”

239. Your Bard’s name is not Idina, Maureen, Elphaba, or Aida.

240. King Boranel will not be referred to as “gramps.”

241. You will not carry a largeish bath towel and a book that you claim contains all the information you need to survive out there.

242. You will not shoot down the Giant Owl and Gargoyle members of Sharn’s postal service.

243. Good Warforged are not Autobots, evil ones are not Decepticons.

244. Warforged Druids are not Maximals or Predacons, for that matter.

245. You will not, under any circumstance, use the word “kender.”

246. You are not allowed to refer to Warforged as “Cylons.”

247. You are not allowed to pick fights with the leaders of major religions.

248. You are not allowed to hit on them either.

249. …especially if doing so would violate Thranish age of consent laws.

250. That wand is not your pimp stick, and please take off that stupid hat.
TheRedRobedWizard

09-23-05, 11:05 AM		251. Refering to the shifter as "Whiskers", "Mittens", "Garfield", "Princess Froo-Froo", "Kitty", or "Fluffy" is strickly prohibited... while he is within earshot.

252. Despite the fact that House Cannith has a mostly Warforged staffed Concierge service, it is not appropriate to call all Warforged you meet after that "Concierge".

253. Despite the fact that Merrix d'Cannith wears a rainbow wig, a t-shirt that says "I <3 Warforged", and drools all over himself mumbling "Mournlands..." does not mean that you can make fun of him... while he is within earshot.

254. Under no circumstances are you to refer to King Kaius as "Lord Zed", nor Queen Auralia as "Rita Repulsa". They are not both in cahoots to stop us from saving the world, nor are they plotting to send giant monsters into Sharn.

255. Pope Jaela is *not* River Tam, and you may not invite her to come with us on our journey.

256. Even if she wants to.

257. And even if the paladin thinks she'll be "dreamy" in a couple of years.

258. Yes, I am aware that the paladin is female; let a man have his dreams.

259. You will not refer to the captains of other ships (land or air based) as "The guy that's about to be thrown overboard."

260. Even if that is so very, very true.

261. King Borenal's mother was not, in fact, a hampster. Nor did his father smell of elderberries. Any assertions to the contrary will be met with deadly force by the Darklanterns.

262. Using the skyskiff to pick up chicks is stricktly prohibited.

263. Unless you bring back enough for everyone.

264. After the Captain orders you to clean the boat, you will not tell him to "go wax his prow" or "get the mast out of his poop deck".

264. Though you are a shifter, you do not have the "heart of a lion, wings of a bat"; no matter how much you want them.

265. We are not changing the name of the boat to Limozeen.

266. The Eldeen Reaches are not "the best place to pitch trash over the side of the ship". Do you *not* understand the concept of Druids?

267. Wroat is not short for "Deep Wroat" despite what those Changeling "escorts" told you.

268. No, you cannot have the cleric cast Remove Disease on you now. You have to suffer for a bit. We warned you about Droaam girls, but *no*, you didn't listen.

269. Besides, he has to cast Remove Disease on me first. And I'm the Captain. So there. :P

270. House Lyrandar does *not* speak Al Bhed, despite similar clothing styles and airship useage. "Ku clnaf ouincamv!" and "Ouin sudran ec y fruna!" are not a good conversation starters.

271. There is not a Black Mage Academy; and even if there was, you couldn't go study there.

272. Under no circumstances are you to sing the theme of "The Greatest American Hero" while you are riding a soarsled through Sharn.

273. Do not refer to the Warforged as "Man of Steel Man".

274. After casting Fireball at the Lord of Blades, calling him "LOBster Thermadore" is just adding insult to injury.

275. So feel free to do that any time the occasion arises.

276. The Seren barbarians do not speak with heavy Cockney accents. Calling them Guv'nah will just **** them off more.

277. King Kaius is not "a blatant rip off of that Angel character". Saying such things to his face is frowned upon, and my result in your quite timely death.

278. The Aurum are not to be refered to as "Ferengi".

279. The ship's cabin boy is not to be refered to as "anchor".

280. Despite having been used as such on several occasions.

281. We will not pay for a Reincarnate, Ressurection, or True Ressurection after you are smote for making innapropriate advances toward Pope Jaela.

282. I don't care if she was wearing a short skirt.

283. You will not refer to the Paladin's Wand of Cure Light Wounds as "The Magic Stick".

284. It is not okay to ask her to "hit it twice" if she has already used a charge on you.

285. "Why don't you come back to my place and exercize the demon?" is *not* anything resebling a good pick up line, and may not be used on any cleric, paladin, or priest of any religion.

286. Especially if you're a Tiefling or Half-Fiend.

287. Especially not Jaela.

288. Paladins of the Silver Flame are not to be refered to as "Flamer Crusaders".

289. Nor may you accompany that insult with a limp wristed wave.

290. Talenta Halflings do not like being called "Barney riding Kender".

291. Limericks are stricktly forbidden after the incident at the Cathedral of the Silver Flame. Let us never speak of it again.

292. Gorgons do not make good house pets.

293. Neither do cockatrices. I am not paying for another Stone to Flesh.

294. When the Paladin uses Turn Undead, it does not make her into a zombie. Telling the townsfolk such things is a bad practice.

295. You may not mock the Paladin if she fails a Turn Undead attempt by asking her if she was "Turning Japanese" by mistake.

296. Going fishing for dinosaurs while hovering over the Talenta Plains is *not* a good idea.

297. If you catch a rider along with the dinosaur, calling it a "two-fer" in their presence may make someone upset.

298. Not me, though, because that's hillarious.

299. The Captain is not to be refered to as "Cap'n Mehoff".

300. There are not 15 houses. House Atreides, House Harkonnen, and House Corrino are *not* real. You just got really drunk.

301. Don't tell that to Baron Harkonnen, though, he gets really sensative about those kinds things.

302. The Valenar are not Fremen, they will not teach you how to ride sandworms. Stop asking them.

-TRRW
MarkB

09-23-05, 11:12 AM		251. When a Gatekeeper druid tells you his faction, the appropriate response is never "I am the Keymaster!"

252. When sneaking through the Keeper's lair, it's not a good idea to point at one of the Shards and say "Hey, is that Elvis?"

253. Stop asking every changeling you meet whether you can join the Dominion.

254. The state of accelerated action and awareness created by Time Stop is not to be referred to as "bullet time" or "entering the Matrix".

255. When your elemental galleon comes in to dock, with a wharf ahead and to its right, it is not appropriate to exclaim "There's klingons on the starboard bow!"
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 01:00 PM		Haahhahahahahaha

I commend everyone here.

I'm laughing truly heavily. Poor Jaela (unless she's into that sort of thing)

257. It's wrong to try and make warforged obey the Three Laws of Robotics.

258. The return of the Dhakaani empire will not be like the South Rising Again.

259. The Dawning of the Next Age of the Kalashatyr will not be when the Moon is in the Second house and Jupiter aligns with Mars....

260. Shadowrun is not the official future for Eberron.

261. Harry Potter does not attend Hogwarts in Aundair.

262. Despite what the rules say, tossing a bag of rats over someone while you have great cleave doesn't allow you to hit them a dozen times in a single turn.

263. Lhazaar is not pronounced "Laz E Boy"

264. It is wrong to tell warforged that the proper greeting for a stranger from a culture he hasn't visited is to punch him in the face.

265. The solution to every problem is not "Blow them all to Hell with fireballs and let god sort them out."

266. Thaliost isn't to be referred to as Belfast.

267. It is wrong to linger in King Kaius' undead harem.

268. Even if I do.

269. The Crusade against werecreatures was not motivated by furry porn and it's wrong to spread this.

270. Money acquired from corpses, treasure chests, robbed victims, and the like will be stored in banks and not buried on unfamiliar islands or placed in other dungeons with monsters hired from Droam to guard them.

271. We will not try and open this as an alternative to Mror Hold banking.

272. It's wrong to tell warforged that the Treaty of Thronehold was fake and they're their secret contact to give them orders to rise up and slaughter all the humans the day after you leave.

273. The words "RAMMING SPEED" will be ordered by the Captain and the Captain alone on this vessel.

274. It is not permissable for the wizards onboard to 'Aurala Slap' a sorcerer with his spellbook

275. Even if the Sorcerer laughs about them having to use books.

276. I will not psyche up warforged before battle by saying "You do not know pain, you do not know fear, you will taste Man Flesh!"

277. Even if they are really curious about what manflesh tastes like.

278. It's wrong to point out that Cardinal Kronzen looks exactly like Tim Curry.

279. And that he looks like Monty Burns when he taps his fingers together and says "Excellllllent."

280. And that he usually reveals his plans by just turning to the side and muttering things like "Do they suspect I intend to have the King killed?"

281. I will not refer to the Queen's champion in Thrane as D'Artangne.

282. We will not give the money we steal from the rich to the poor.

283. Even if we told the Paladin this.

284. And we operate from an Eldeen Reaches forrest..

285. Called Sherwood...

286. And we're all very Merry.

287. It is wrong to tell the warforged that "You can kiss my robot ass." is a socially acceptable response to all questions.

288. Cloud Strife and Squall Lionheart are not recruitable to our cause nor will we use our money to open up mercenary acadmies called Gardens.

289. It is wrong to liberally quote Braveheart to incite Rebellion in Northern Breland.

290. Not only is it very wrong to offer Pontiff Jaela candy to get in a coach with you...this Pirate ship in no way condones what you're thinking.

291. Clicking your heels is not a way to greet Kaius' daughter.

292. Or to take you back to Kansas.

299.Our next target is not the Ruby encrusted slippers of Aurala's sister so we can go back there.

300. The Trust are not Gnome Ninjas.

301. We will not buy a submarine to hunt warships of the Brelish crown.

302. Nor can you refer to me as Nemo.

303. Even if the Island I own is mysterious.

304. This ship is not a Democracy and you cannot vote me off as leader.

305. Or my island.

306. Dungeons and Dragons the movie is not set in Aundair. Even we recognize Aundair has more value than that.

307. It is wrong to attempt to rig the Race of Winds in Sharn....

308. So the Tortoise wins.

309. Selina Kyle is not a Shifter Rogue.

310. Clayface is not a Fat Changeling.

311. I repeat, I am not Batman.

312. You will never ask the Cult of the Dragon below worshipping the Dark Six to allow you to choose the form in which the Traveller shall come.

313. Even if the marshmellows will make us a bundle.

314. I do not know Kung fu.

315. Only the Monk Does.

316. The Monk does not know drunken boxing however...

317. The monk cannot refer to junior crew as "grasshopper"

318. Jaela cannot defeat evil by getting a team of young girl priestesses together who wear short skirts...it's wrong to tell her there's a sacred reason for it.

319. She does not have a Silver Millenium Crystal.

320. It is wrong to tell her "COSMIC FLAME POWER" is an appropriate statement for the use of high level attack spells.

321. The Knights of Thrane are not the Flaming Knights...

(special thanks above)

322. Shouting Attacks before I do them is just dumb

323. I will not breed Abberations using spells to make them cute in the hope of creating Pokemon.

324 ....or Chocobos.

325. The Lord of Blades does not have a whacky sidekick plotting against him called Starscream.

326. Jaela being the Chosen is meant that she will be their spiritual leader and guide. It does not mean that she will get a highly educated Brelish demonologist to follow her while she hunts demons.

327. King Boranal is not Sean Connery, I don't know why the crew keeps using Sean Connery's accent to immitate him.
Edymnion

09-23-05, 01:29 PM		Heh, have you read "The Skippy List", by any chance?
http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html
Androlphas

09-23-05, 01:34 PM		:rofl:
Man! I just wasted my entire morning reading these. But what a good waste of time! Here's some from my campaign:

328. You are not allowed to use a warforged's severed head with a light spell as an impromptu everbright lantern.

329. Even if it's dark in the sewers of Sharn and you forgot to bring yours.

330. No, the warforged fighter cannot hurl the shifter barbarian at his enemies.

331. Even with an action point.

332. *sigh* Ok, roll your Strength check.

333. The changeling cannot absorb the Talenta barbarian into herself and gain extra HP nor can she gain one use of the Rage ability.

334. The martial artists at the embassy ball are members of the Royal Eyes of Aundair, not members of the "Crazy 88".

335. The one on the left is not Gordon Liu.

336. Even if he's bald and has a mask.

337. When an agent of the Lord of Blades is defeated you shall not yell: "The Snitch! Fetch me my broom of flying, quick!" upon the appearance of a final messenger.

338. Warforged are intelligent and articulate. They do not go around saying "WARFORGED!" all the time.

339. When discovering dangerous eldritch machines in secret House Cannith research facilities, it is in bad form to yell: "We found the weapons of mass destruction!"
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 01:42 PM		Mostly it's my players antics sadly....

But thanks! Apparently these lists are quite common.

;-)

Like the Chronicles of Michelle and "Runs Like Hell" lists (which someone has also pointed me out to just now), it starts with those "special players"...

For example...

340. There is no such thing as a Dragonmark of Caring nor does my Bear Shifter have it on his tummy.

Is all too real a request...
Thrincold

09-23-05, 01:53 PM		You know I think I'll just steal these to use against my DM in the next game I am playing in. On the same note the next game I run will have this as a list of unacceptable behavior :)

And and my one contribution:

No there isn't a PRC that allows your warforged to transform (yet)
LugWrench

09-23-05, 02:09 PM		341. The party mage must be refraned from telling the guards "These arent the warforged youre looking for."

342. The bard must be immediately slain upon uttering the words "Anyone want to hear some Depeche Mode?"

343. Even if someone does.

344. The warforged must be discouraged from yelling "EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE!!" at random.

345. The Silver Flame is not lit by propane.

346. Nor is it the Olympic flame.

347. Nor is it a trash incinerator.

348. We do not 'Dump our garbage before going to lightspeed.'

349. Warforged are not Omnimechs.

350. They arent protomechs, either. So stop cutting them open to 'make sure the pilot is dead.'

351. We don't do orbital bombardment.

352. Air strikes are still okay.

353. Our job is not "To kill our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of their women". Thats what we do on our days off.

354. Musnt use the fire elemental powering the airship to light cigars.

355. Elves dont call people "Mr. Anderson".

356. The warforged isnt named Bender.

357. He doenst run on alcohol, either.

358. Dont hum the 'Lumberjack' song around someone from the Eldeen Reaches.

359. Unless you really want to.
yossarius

09-23-05, 04:03 PM		360) Yes, everyone DOES expect the 'Thranish Inquisition'! They've already done it twice. Stop saying otherwise.

361) Any warforged uttering the phase, "I'll be back," will under no circumstances be allowed to reboard the ship.

362) Darkvision is not 'Infravision' . You cannot hide yourself from it by setting your surroundings on fire.

363) If you are a Valanar Elf traveling with 12 demon waste barbarians, you may not refer to yourself as Ahmad Ibn Fadlan or "the thirteenth warrior."

364) Even if you are.

365) Kalashtar, or Psions in general, named Akira or Tetsuo will be immediately pitched overboard (regardless of altitude).

366) Repeat after me: "The Mournland is not the world's greatest open air dungeon."

367) Even though it is.

368) The Lord of Blades does not have any difficulty whistling "Pop goes the weasel."

369) Nor does he get his abilities from the Autobot Matrix.

370) Shouting "Victory is mine!" is a sure way to have it wrested from you at the most inopportune moment.

371) The name of this airship is the Forgotten Freedom, not the 'millenium falcon', the 'bebop', or the 'titanic.'

372) Those are travelling papers, not a "multi-pass." Stop refering to them as such.

373) Any spellcaster whose somatic component for web is to fold his ring and middle finger back onto his palm while flexing his hand down at the wrist is simply begging to be stabbed in his sleep.

374) You cannot polymorph your crewmates into uninjured versions of themselves simply because no one bothered to play a cleric.

375) Whoever sold you that information regarding the location of a dragon orb ripped you off.

376) And no, it isn't worth investigating "just in case."

377) Halflings and gnomes in Eberron are not to be played simply for comic relief.

378) Otter shifters named "Mudge" will be feathered with arrows on sight, just on general principle.

379) As will "Jon-Tom," his human bard companion.

380) And any oracle pigs brought on board will be butchered for bacon & ham.

381) Refering to Cyrans as having "Gulf War Syndrome" is very uncouth, and will not be tolerated.

382) Even if you WERE there.

383) You will not attempt, under any circumstances, to pay a hoard of homeless bums a few cp each to follow you around and 'overbear' any opponents you yourself cannot defeat.

384) Even though that is really funny.

385) Nor will you refer to me as "B.A." simply because I will not allow you to do any of the 384 things that come before this rule.
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 04:19 PM		345. The Silver Flame is not lit by propane.


Are you SURE about that?

Also, loved the Knights of the dinner Table references!

386. If we successfully steal a submarine, we will not paint it yellow.

387. Dreamlilly is not known as pot in other worlds.

388. We are already the most wanted group in all of Eberron. Do not attempt to place bets on who can get their bounties up higher.

389. You will not humiliate guardsmen...

390. Unless they really have it coming.

391. Wayne Brady does not have to choke a ho.

392. Nor do you.

393. It is inappropriate to ho out the Catgi...err shifter.

394. If you do then do not put her in a diamond studded collar.

395. Even if she really likes it.

396. ESPECIALLY do not attach a leash to it.

397. Aundair is the nation of Magicians, Artists, and Intrigue, not the land of "Frog's legs eating surrender monkeys."

398. Morgaive University is not to be referred to as "Miskatonic University."

399. Even if it has a copy of the Necronomicron in it's library and an abnormally high rate of doomed expeditions into the unameable reaches.

400. I will not feed warforged screws, nuts, and bolts at dinner time.

401. The warforged is not to refer to me or any other human as "meatbags"

402. Dragons will never be referred to as "Puff."

403. Nor will you offer them maidens as a sacrifice.

404. Especially not female crew members who won't put out.

405. I will not attempt to graft warforged parts onto my body and ask to use the Rules of Shadowrun for this.

406. I will not pretend Mage the Ascension rules is optional for D&D.

407. Or Exalted.

408. I am not Captain Harlock nor am I the Rubber Band character from One Piece.

409. Any attempt to test this will result in walking the plank.

410. Which is not a metaphor for homosexuality.

411. The Plank is not a diving board.

412. Nor can you have the shifter girl use a lifeboat to turn tricks...

413. Or call it "Inara's shuttle"

414. The ship's library is not to be emptied and replaced with nothing but porno and Ann Rand.

415. Even if that would change nothing.

416. When fighting the Lord of Blades you will NOT sing "You've got the Touch"

417. Dare to be stupid is appropriate.

418. As pirate, we find talking like a pirate day to be unnecessary.

419. Especially just to make conversations incomprehensible.

420. Marish the Shifter Girl is to be reminded her race is terrifying and feral, not cute and fuzzy.
LugWrench

09-23-05, 04:59 PM		420. Despite its bad attiude, the druid's Awakend Horrid Rat is NOT named Foamy.

421. If a skiff crashes in a city, we arent going after it. This aint "Air Ship Down".

422. Thou shalt NOT repel boarders with Alchemists Fire.

423. We dont make bombing runs with "Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke".

424. Unless we have a pool going as to who can get the closest to the target.

425. A Karnnathi Skeleton or Zombie is not a Deadite.

426. You are not allowed to send Arawai a Mother's Day card, signed "The Fury".

427. The proper way to repair a warforged does not involve an Erector set.

428. The warforged is not on this ship to sell drinks.

429. We dont know the way to San Jose.

430. Dont call the shifter to a meal by shouting "HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY."

431. Even if he asks you to.

432. Dont use Alter Self to get at King Kaius' harem.

433. Ever.

434. Using Prestidigation to paint some one hot pink while they sleep is tacky.

435. Funny, but tacky.

436. The Deck of Many things isnt to be used for a game of poker.

437. Or blackjack.

438. Or Baccarat.

439. Or Old Maid.

440. When given an order by the captain, the correct response is 'Yes, sir.' Not 'sez you.'

441. We dont deliver pizza in 30 minutes or less.

damnation, beat me to it.
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 05:03 PM		Worry not, I'll fix mine

Great selection!
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 05:04 PM		442. In Eberron, killing them because they are goblins is not encouraged...

443. Even if the vast majority of them are still evil.

444. Flumphs do not attach themselves to people's faces and lay their eggs until they burst out of a person's chest...

445. Even if that would make them a much better creature.

446. Singing I like Darguneese to the tune of "I like Chinese" will not win you friends.

447. No you CANNOT outdrink the dwarf...

448. Do not refer to Boranal as Azoun, Arthur, or Aragorn.

449. No Erandis D'Vol is not Fistdantilius' daughter or Skeletor's sister or the girl from the Corpse bride.

450. Stop spreading rumors that Merrix D'Cannith runs a chocolate factory with a Xen'drick orange gnome race and that you can get in by finding golden tickets hidden worldwide.

451. Marish the shifter girl cat is not McDonalds, no matter how many she's served.

452. Do not refer to Henchmen crew as "Red Shirts"

453. Do not play Taps when we're exiting the ship with the Henchmen crew just recruited.

454. We have a high enough fatality rate as it is, do not PK because you're having a really bad day at work and we've got a cleric with raise dead finally.

455. Alf is not our god nor is Long John Silvers our Temple. I don't even want to know how you came up with that link.

456. On a related note, Optimus Prime is not the warforged god and it is wrong to tell them so.

457. I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts, though I may kill you today

458 through 460. NO you cannot invent Gunpowder!

461. Singing "The Bare Necessities" is not a good way to endear yourself to a subsistence living Bugbear tribe.

462. Crew members Raistlin Majere, Drizzt Do'Urden, Kenshin Himora, and any variations on these above will be forced to fight to the death in a battle royal

463. And the winner's killed.
LugWrench

09-23-05, 05:21 PM		464. You are not allowed to use a halfling to go 'Dino fishing'.

465. You are not allowed to use a Fireball to go Dino giggin'.

466. The party cleric is not "Dr. Feelgood."

467. You are not allowed to ho out the shifter girl for 5 sp per trick.

467. Its 10 gp per trick.

468. You are not dating the Daughters of Sora Kell.

469. Erandis d'Vol is not to be refered to as "Lichie Lich".

470. Or "That dried up old Lich."

471. You are not allowed to train an army of kobolds and name them "Tuckers Kobolds".

471. Even if your name IS Tucker.

472. The warforged juggernaut is NOT the ships anchor.

473. Nor is he the airships 'emergency brake'.

474. Fnord does not exist.
Aneul

09-23-05, 05:43 PM		465) Getting the bard to play the Star War's theme and begging the cleric to tell you to "use the force" while you magic missle the portholes of enemy ships is expressly forbiden.

466) Suggesting to the captain that he aquire a regiment of Karnnathi dead for use as marines and rechristen the "Forgotten Freedom" the "Black Pearl" merits being marooned with a hand cross bow and one bolt on the Ring of Syberys.

467) Bards inclined to perform Wagner's "the Ride of the Valkiries" durring strafing runs will be sent below decks forthwith

468) Questioning Khalashtar crew members as to how "Harvy" is doing, wether or not they had a "prodigal room-mate" in college, or making any references to the possibility of their entire race being a bunch of paranoid
schizophrenics is frowned upon....even though its so true.

469) Use of divinations to see what Pontif Jeala is going to look like when she hits puberty is forbiden unless the rest of the crew is invited to see a well.
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 06:16 PM		470. "Cause we're pirates!" is not an excuse for any action I choose to do.

471. I do not fear a crocodile that took my hand.

472. The first mate is not to be referred to as Smee.

472. My mortal enemy is not Peter Pan.

473. We will not ask the artificer to build a laser sword with guns on it that shoots other swords.

474. If we did, I would own it.

475. Shooting a man in the face because he asked for my identification is not an acceptable response...

476. Especially when we paid for fake IDs.

477. Queen Aurala is not the villainess in the movie "Willow."

478. No referring to the Engine Room chief as "Scotty"

479. Even if he is from the part of Breland they wear kilts in.

480. Pirates cannot survive falls of a million feet because we're Pirates and thus awesome.

481. It is wrong to test this on others.

482, It is wrong to put on a hockeymask and take a machete to chase co-eds around Lakes or Universities.

483. I don't care if you were really drunk when you did it.

484. Being a shapechanged druid does not give you permission to hump people's legs.

485. Or any other part of their body.

486. There are no crocodiles in the sewers of Sharn.

487. It is wrong to add them.

488. We do not have phasers or photon torpedoes.

489. Prince Jurian will not be "hoisted by his own petard" whenever we find him.

490. The proper response for disobediance from the shifter is bread and water at meal times, not spanking.

491. Illithids do not worship "Great Cthulhu."

492. When attacking a Riedran Stronghold guarded by Beholders, Elementalists, and Martial Artists...we do not do our best to act out Big Trouble From Little China.

493. There is not only one true God whose name is Keith Baker.

494. It is wrong to tell Worshippers of the Silver Flame that they worship a bunch of dead feathered snakes.

495. Rakashasas are not to be referred to as "Tony"

496. Vengeance from the Boramar clan does not take the form of a Fish being deliverered in the coat of an enemy.

497. You are not going to convince the head of the Boramar clan that he needs you as a psychiatrist.

498. It is wrong to use suggestion to convince Prince Oargev he's gay.

499. Umbargen will not be referred to as "the shrill voiced drow wannabes."

500. The Keep on the Borderlands is not Little nor is it inhabited by a bunch of wholesome homesteaders
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 06:20 PM		We should save these.

Anyone know how to make a webpage?

Maybe the Mod will put a link on one of the Sticky.
Ravenfeather

09-23-05, 06:22 PM		Great list, had to crawl up to my chair several times again while reading this?

But... couldn't we discuss poin 64, please? Anyone who has ever seen the Monty Python and the Holy Grail knows that bunnies are largely understimated... So why wouldn't that be an option?
Dhakaani Heir

09-23-05, 06:33 PM		Great List :D

501. Theres no such thing as Gnome Gninjas
502. Even if there were, the extra silent "G" doesn't make them any more deadly
MarkB

09-23-05, 06:36 PM		We will not christen our next airship any of the following:

The Hindenberg

The Titanic

Fireball XL5

Prometheus

Daedelus

Definitely not Icarus

Any numeral preceeded by any variation on the word 'Thunderbird'

Laputa

Cloudbase

Aundair Force One

In addition, our service craft will be airskiffs. They are not shuttles, O-Wings, Raptors or Deathgliders. We will be buying the standard versions, not bribing or extorting Cannith artificers to build a set of custom vessels which can be joined together to form a giant humanoid construct. And they definitely are not Zigs.
Endless_Helix

09-23-05, 07:56 PM		505: The Kalashtar Soulknife is not a jedi.

506: You will not use Unseen Servant in that manner. I don't care if it feels nice.

507: Kalashtar do not have a little angel and/or a little devil on their shoulder.

508: The Burning Ring is not your personal sandbox.

509: No, you cannot call LoB "Ah-nold, the Governator". It would inflate his ego.

510: You shall not call Clevis the Kalashtar Soulknife "Cleavage".

511: Even if I made it up.

512: Prince Oargev is not Aragorn.

513:The Skyway is not Laputa.
Kinger

09-23-05, 08:17 PM		514: The warforged is forbidden to complain that because he can't get drunk, high, or laid, he has nothing to do at night.

515: The warforged is not just a garbage can with sparks coming out of it.

516: And the sparks do not keep him warm.

517: The handshake will not be replaced by the "skullpunch" no matter how much you want it to be.

518: The changeling is forbidden to be alone with a full length mirror.

519: Not all bridges of Sharn cast Featherfall, and leaping over the sides of each is not a good method to determine which do.

520: Wrapping an unconscious hostage in a cloak will do little to dissuade suspicion when you march through Morgrave with him over your shoulder.
Lup1n3

09-23-05, 08:59 PM		I have compiled a list of all the contributions thus far, exactly as numbered. That means that about 1/3 through or so, it jumps around a bit.

I am setting up a website using one of the "free" options for hosting. At this point, angelfire looks like the winner. I am sure by now we all know how to edit a hosts file to block ads, if not, http://everythingisnt.com/hosts has some info you might be interested in.

I will also only be able to maintain this list for only so long, and would be more than happy to hand control of it over to the thread originator. Charles, if you are interested, pm me, and I'll hook you up with the info needed to take it over.


Angelfire address is as follows.

http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/captainjarlot/index.html
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 09:05 PM		I will also only be able to maintain this list for only so long, and would be more than happy to hand control of it over to the thread originator. Charles, if you are interested, pm me, and I'll hook you up with the info needed to take it over.


Thank you very much. I'm not one for hostings but this is very good and I'll hold it as a last resort.

Very gracious am I though.
Gladius_Lucix

09-23-05, 09:50 PM		I just spent the past hour or so reading through this thing, copy and pasting into a text document. Due to a large misnumbering, the current number is about 60 off. There may be a few misnumberings on my side, too, though. I suggest, if anyone puts this up on a website, using a Numbered List instead of numbering each point individually.

Until it goes up, PM me with your email addy if you'd like my compiled copy.
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 09:54 PM		No need.

504. I will not comment on the Captain's inability to count.

66291. I will not alter the numbers when the Captain is not looking.

556. THE CORRECT NUMBER TOTAL HERE will not be altered.

557. Guybrush Threepwood is not the man I took this ship from.

558. I did not win it in a Poker Game.

***

;-)

My e-mail addy is charlemagne1980@hotmail.com. Alas your PM box is full.

Still, if anyone wants to take up the webpage and handle it's updating from me or its prior owner, please tell me since I know absolutely nothing about how to do such.
LugWrench

09-23-05, 10:44 PM		559. I will not use the pyromancers wands to perform a drum solo.

560. I will evenly divy up the loot from the badguys. Unless someone is bigger/has a bigger weapon then me.

561. Then he gets everything.

562. The warforged was not built by 'Cyberdyne'.

563. I will not drag race the air ship.

564. Especially if Im drunk.

565. I will not outfit the airship with nitrous.

566. Or 'spinners'.

567. The airship will not time warp at 88 miles per hour, and I should not try to make it do so.
Salla

09-23-05, 11:23 PM		568. If the Captain should say "Make It So" or "Engage" before heading out, or if he should stand up and tug his shirt down with both hands, he shall be punished by being hoist on his own Picard.
LuciferNietzsche

09-23-05, 11:29 PM		I've seen so many similar things happen in our own group, and heard stories of others. I wish I could remember some to add now, but as soon as I thought of replying my mind blanked. I hate that.

Anyway, it's great, I hope it actually gets to 1001 +, lol.
Charles Phipps

09-23-05, 11:47 PM		That's 568 Salla....

We'll drop the "official list" at 1001 and keep adding on for fun....again if no one else wants to take it over (I can't update again because I'm webpage illiterate)

569. Davy Jones' Locker is not the closet of a member of the Monkees.

570. Nor is that Davy Jones a pirate.

571. Keith Baker is not a character in Eberron nor would he be a huge sexual dynamo old man wizard.

572. Half Elves are not to be referred to as the Diet Rum of Elfdom.

573. Nor are they to be called Tanis.

574. Eberron does not have gaitlin guns, pistols, machine guns, cannons, artillery, or nukes.

575. If it did have Nukes, we would probably go for a much more small-scale weapon in our weapon's runs.

576. Droam is not a Dungeon.

577. We do not go to Droam for 'Level Up'

578. The best response for Droam is not "Hack n' Slash all night long."

579. We do not start conversations with NPCs with the words "How much EXP are you worth?"

580. Mordain Fleshweaver is not to be asked if he can give you a tattoo.

581. Or give you bigger boobs or other extremities.

582. Keira Knightly is not a Radiant Idol nor are you allowed to worship her.

583. He cannot make you look like an anime character.

584. You do not look like an anime character already.

585. Mordain Fleshweaver is not to be treated like a plastic surgeon at all.

586. Nor are Daelkyr.

587. Time Machines cannot be built in Eberron.

588. If they could be, they would not be used to go into the future to get energy weapons.

589. Or to go hang out with robots.

590. Or to play Shadowrun

591. The Shadow Marches are not Mordor.

592. Nor does the Shadow live there next to a volcano you can defeat him by throwing his ring into it.

593. Do not refer to Half-Orcs as Urak-Hai.

594. Do not refer to Half-Orcs as "It's a damn pity that someone crazzaped on your face...oh that is your face?"

595. House Cannith will not be referred to as Enron.

596. House Deneith will not be referred to as Rent-a-Cop

597. House Lysander will not be referred to as Delta

598. House Jorasco will not be referred to as Saint Elsewere

599. House Phiarlan and House Thuranni will not be referred to as Dark and Darkerer

600. House Vol was not the Addam's Family

602. The Age of Worms will not be a time of great food poisoning.

603. The Ebon Triad is not a black rock band.

604. All Aurala needs is not "a little loving" to decide to give peace a chance.

605. We will NOT refer to the city of Thronehold as "A wretched hive of scum and villainy."

606. Or Sharn.

607. The Prime Minister of Breland will not be referred to as "Senator Palpatine."

608. Or Supreme Chancellor Palpatine.

609. We will not expect him to dissolve the council permanently when Boranal dies.

610. Even if the Rebellion continues to gain support in the Senate.

611. That is not why Merrix is building a laser on the moon...or as he calls it..his "Death Star"

612. This is not Star Wars and the Lord of Blades is not your character's rebuilt father.

613. Nor will the Lord of Blades become the Prime Minister's chief enforcer after he declares himself Emperor.

(*Tosses away Campaign notes*)

614. You cannot blow up the Moon of Eberron by firing a fireball into it's thermal exhaust port, right above the main port.

615. You cannot build a airskiff that resembles an X-wing.

616. Jaela will not be pronounced Jaina nor does she have a brother named Jacen.

617. We will not refer to the ship as an abbatoir

618. No matter how many crew have died.

619. Argonessan is not an Epic Level Dungeon.

620. Or an Epic Level Campaign setting.

621. Delayed blast Fireball will not be referred to as the Dragonslave.

622. Your flaming sword is not the Sword of Light.

623. You are not the Slayers or the redheaded small busted female magic user Lina Inverse

624. No matter how many people you kill.

625. You will not steal Pontiff Jaela's carriage.

626. Nor is it to be referred to as her Popemobile.

627. Pontiff Jaela will not bring about a Cataclysm by challenging the gods, you're just using that as a justification to kidnap her.

628. We do not "parlay" with prisoners.

629. ...especially not for sexual favors.

630. Even if they are hot.

631. There is no such thing as a Pirate's Code.

632. Nor should there be,

633. Even if they are more guidelines.

634. Valenar is not currently being menaced by Ganondorf Dragmire.

635. Nor do they have a Triforce we should assemble.

636. And their Princess is not named Zelda.

637. Xen'drick is an island of mystery and wonders, it is not a place that is the dumping ground for everything that doesn't fit in the rest of the setting.

638. Queen Aurala is not Kate Blanchett.

639. Even if that would make you like her more.

640. The Drow Trilogy of Modules cannot be played by simply substituting Queen Aurala as the secret goddess of the Umbargen.

641. Into the Barrier Peaks will never be played ANYWHERE in Eberron.

642. The module Castle Ravenloft is not how King Kaius became a vampire nor is he after a girl named Tatyana.

643. Just because they are in the Constellations exist does not mean that the Dragon Triad is the same as the gods of Dragonlance or even the Forgotten Realms.

644. The Estoeric Order of Aurreon is not to be referred to as "The Poor Man's Order of High Sorcery."

645. They are not the Masons either.

Trying to bring down one of the moons of Eberron will kill all living things, it is thus not an advisable way to kill the Tarrasque.

646. Riedra is not the 'most boringest' place on Eberron.

647. Nor does Walt Disney rule it.

648. The secret ingrediant to making warforged is not PEOPLE.

649. It is wrong to tell warforged this.

650. The Aristocrats is not an example of Aerenal Humor

651. It is wrong to tell Warforged this.

652. Valenar Warhorses are not fed People either as the secret to producing them.

653. It is wrong to tell Karrnathians this.

654. Dragon's blood is not to be slipped into King Boranal's drink during a state dinner.

655. If the female captive refuses to dine with the Captain, she will not dine with the crew naked.

656. No matter how the crew wants it.

657. If the Forgotten Freedom crashes on an island, we will not have Kate from Lost with us and whacky adventures as we explore the island. We will just most likely starve and or escape.

658. Merrix D'Cannith doesn't have a brother named Doctor Moreau who works with Broken Ones.

659. Khyber is not an Epic Level Dungeon.

670. Nor can we make huge amounts of EXP by just collapsing the rocks on it.

671. Lizardmen are not Voodoo worshipping Creole.

672. A human sacrifice is not the proper way to appease Kol Korran.

673. Dol Dorn is not "like Dol Arrah" except badass and honorless and a guy.

674. The King's Citadel does not have a secret enemy in SD-6 that is helped against by half-elf Sydney Bristow.

675. Nor can I play this character.

676. It is wrong to tell Warforged that he was built by a Doctor Light and he can gain the abilities of warforged he kills that were constructed by Doctor Wily.

677. Prince Adal is not a transvestite and we will not return him to Queen Aurala in a dress...in public.
Lup1n3

09-23-05, 11:59 PM		582. We'll drop the "official list" at 1001 and keep adding on for fun....again if no one else wants to take it over (I can't update again because I'm webpage illiterate)

I'll stay on it as long as I am able to. I was just giving a heads up that it won't be forever.

678. I/we/you will not use the "213 Things That Skippy Is Not Allowed To Do" as a guideline for annoying others.
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 12:00 AM		I'll stay on it as long as I am able to. I was just giving a heads up that it won't be forever.

678. I/we/you will not use the "213 Things That Skippy Is Not Allowed To Do" as a guideline for annoying others.

Thank you again and 1001 rules will be enough to keep the crew in line.

I wonder what Keith thinks of this list.

A salute to the characters also...

Captain Jarlot: Mein character when I actually play.

Marish Fuzzypaws: Our source of every catgirl jokes.

Ketler Ap Cannith: Ship's engineer and artificer, makes RIDICULOUS stuff and also comments about everything OOC in pop culture known to man.

(I salute you Michael!)

Andrea Glycine: Our Karrnath born wizardess source of our ridiculous levels of hatred of Queen Aurala.

And a horde of VERY dead characters...or short lived in otherwise.
Lup1n3

09-24-05, 12:11 AM		679. Exceptions will be made on a case-by-case basis when I will personally find it to be funny.

680. For the last time, NONE of us are Batman.

681. I have not yet decided if it is wrong to tell Warforged this.
The Fireballed Mage

09-24-05, 12:12 AM		Thank you again and 1001 rules will be enough to keep the crew in line.

I wonder what Keith thinks of this list.

Considering how many of those 1001 rules involve keeping the crew from hitting on an 11-year old girl, I think he probably weeps for their souls. :D
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 12:16 AM		Considering how many of those 1001 rules involve keeping the crew from hitting on an 11-year old girl, I think he probably weeps for their souls. :D

One of my crew reminds me that our misadventures have lasted a year and she's twelve now!

;-)
Euangelion

09-24-05, 12:28 AM		We will not christen our next airship any of the following:

The Hindenberg

The Titanic

Fireball XL5

Prometheus

Daedelus

Definitely not Icarus

Any numeral preceeded by any variation on the word 'Thunderbird'

Laputa

Cloudbase

Aundair Force One



682 Nor will we use it to run an express deliver service for a senile researcher in Sharn.
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 12:37 AM		683 Nor will we use it to run an express deliver service for a senile researcher in Sharn.

I believe it's 682 my friend.

And poor Fry, no respect. He'd fit in on this ship.

Bender too!

;-)
Ghorrin

09-24-05, 01:58 AM		This list is killing me! In a good way!

683. The ancient orcish shaman who tells you to leave those ruins alone is not doing that because, "he's got something totally sweet stashed in there."

684. You don't get to rough him up, kill him, or otherwise incapacitate him and go look...

684 (a). ...unless and until I see some manner of documented proof of your ability to perform exorcisms and/or banishments. The real kind. No more waving your arms and shouting "ooga booga."
LugWrench

09-24-05, 02:44 AM		685. Just because the cleric heals you doesnt mean he likes you.

687. All warforged repair kits lack Duct Tape, and are therefore worthless.

688. "I wish [the captain, the first officer, the bad guy, the DM] would shut up." is a waste of a Wish spell, and will get you keel hauled.

689. Halflings are not all named Gollum.

690. Short shifters are not Ewoks.

691. Tall shifters are not Wookies.

692. Wizards and sorcerers will not cast Polymorph spells with the words "Form of..." or "Shape of..."

693. Sharn is not an airship obstacle course.

694. The Awakend oak tree, Oalian, is not to be refered to as 'Woody'.

695. You are not authorized to sell loggging permits for the Eldeen Reaches.
Anzila

09-24-05, 02:58 AM		696. Whether Warforged have souls is irrelevant, stop trying to sell them one.

697. You do not kick ass for the lord. No, not even the paladin.

698. A Tarrasque on the loose can not be solved by, "Summoning Mothra."

699. Stop handing out religious tracts with explosive runes inside

700. You sell them, material components don't grow on trees.

701. Vol does not just need, "A good lay," to fix her issues. That is both wrong and creepy.

702. For god's sakes, THE GIRLS 12! AND A POPE!
Lup1n3

09-24-05, 03:24 AM		698. A Tarrasque on the loose can not be solved by, "Summoning Mothra."

Well crap. Anyone got a plan B?
LugWrench

09-24-05, 03:48 AM		703. "Bluevine" is a wine, not a curse.

704. Waking the captain by sloshing water in his face and yelling "We're going down, save yourself!" is not funny.

705. Unless he runs onto deck wearing only his boots and his Wally Warforged pajamas. Then its hilarious.

706. Warforged do not have ignition keys.

707. An air elemental powered airship is not a 'hybrid'.

708. Dont whiz on lightning coach conductor stones.

709. Dont swap a House Sivis sending stone for an ordinary rock.

710. Krakens dont make good calamari.

711. Rigging the privy lid with a Fire Trap is just wrong.

712. Funny, but wrong.

713. The Sphere of Annihilation is not to be used to play dodgeball.

714. Dont use beads of force to play marbles, either.

715. Musnt use the airship to write 'SURRENDER DOROTHY' over Sharn.

716. Flamekeep is still fair game, though.

717. Musnt reply to the bad guy's tirade with, "Oh, Im sorry, I wasnt paying attention."

718. and dont ask "Do you want fries with that?" either.

719. The bard is to refrain from singing songs by Celine d'Ion at all times.

720. We mean it.

721. There is no Sarah Connor, so I musnt send the warforged out to find her.

722. The airship is named Forgotten Freedom, not the Satellite of Love.

723. The Lord of Blades does not drink Mad Dog WD-40.

724. Blood drinking, evil, undead, soul-stealing horrors are VAMPIRES, not lawyers.

725. 'Ill hit the brakes and he'll fly right by' never works in airship to airship combat, so I should not try it.

726. The captain must not start each trip by shouting "NEXT STOP, XORIAT".

727. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 04:12 AM		728. Whoever put the "We brake for no one!" bumper sticker on the back of the ship must step forward.

729. It is wrong to post bounties on law enforcement officials pursuing us.

(actually done)

730. Spreading tales of the "Head of Vecna" to kill competing but stupid adventurers is not a good way to clear the gene pool of deadwood.

731. Law enforcement personnel shall not be referred to as Inspector Zenigata.

732. The first mate is not a title for my concubine.

733. Neither is second mate.

734. Queen Aurala does not own a flying broom.

735. Throneport is not made of emeralds so stop telling the warforged that it is.

736. Inspector Gadget is not a Reforged with countless attachments.

737. It is wrong to try the "Would you believe" joke from Get Smart on villains.

738. It is wrong to spread rumors of Queen Aurala's demise.

739. Then introduce the "Ding Dong" song to the locals to sing.

740. No it is not concievably possible to make Queen Aurala hate us more.

741. Or King Kaius.

742. Boranal is still smarting over the duck incident.

743. Poor innocent Jaela has no idea...

744. It is wrong to polymorph dragons into bunnies that keep their hit dice and attack bonuses.

745. Even if you hire a wizard named Tim to warn people off.

746. Do not use Ghosts to age Jaela.

747. It is wrong to break the Manifest Zone with Sharn and the Plane of Air to kill everyone.

748. Especially for the EXP.

749. Oalian does not talk extremely slow nor does he have any draughts that will make you taller

750. Half-Orcs do not have larger genitalia and it is wrong to tell girls this.

751. Black Mages were not persecuted for centuries because of the color of their magic.

752. It is wrong to try and base a Drow on Malcolm X.

753. Even if he's from Xen'drick.

754. Do not point to the Seven Sisters as an example of how Aurala should behave.

755. Especially if you end the sentence...Slutty and Immortal.

756. The artificer does not have a Quori named Six in his head....or if he does, we're a little surprised she's so attractive.

757. No, we will not use a Spelljammer helm to invade Greyhawk and Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance.
Lup1n3

09-24-05, 04:18 AM		708. Dont whiz on lightning coach conductor stones.

Truer advice has never been imparted.

740. Do not use Ghosts to age Jaela.

Well crap. Anyone got a plan B?

743. Poor innocent Jaela has no idea...

...
Shame we can't say the same about that church of hers...

758. When I said "Queen Aurala does not own a flying broom" that was not implying we should have sent her one. Now whoever did it step forward.
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 04:32 AM		Hahaha.

I believe that's 758 my friend.

;-)

759. I will not write Lymrics about the Queen of Aundair to make amends with her.

760. Especially not on the side of her castle.

***

As we near closure, anyone have any particular favorites?
Anyone have any fun influenced opinions on Eberron or adventuring? For example, never allow my players near your children?
;-)
I also want to thank all the contributors.
Anyone itching to try one or more of these?
Lina_Inverse

09-24-05, 04:40 AM		Hahaha.

I believe that's 758 my friend.

;-)

759. I will not write Lymrics about the Queen of Aundair to make amends with her.

760. Especially not on the side of her castle.

***

As we near closure, anyone have any particular favorites?
Anyone have any fun influenced opinions on Eberron or adventuring? For example, never allow my players near your children?
;-)
I also want to thank all the contributors.
Anyone itching to try one or more of these?

Your players have an unhealthy obsession with jaela.
Lup1n3

09-24-05, 04:48 AM		Done? No idea yet.

Favorites? Most definately.

Your players around my kids? Never!

761. I will not ask King Kaius to shout out "Vae Victus(sp)" just for kicks.

762. I will not ponder out loud the similarities between him and some noble who was corrupted with vampirism by choice, used, and wanted revenge.

763. I will never, ever, ever again call King Kaius Batman. Especially not in his presence, and especially not while he is in bat form.

764. I will not sell tourists exclusive bridge building rights between the upper towers and Skyway.

765. Unless the Captain gets at least a 50% share of all proceeds.

766. I will not do a barrel roll.

767. I will not do a barrel roll.

768. I will not do a barrel roll.

769. I will not perform an aerial water drop to put out the temple of the Silver Flame.
MarkB

09-24-05, 06:37 AM		770. The Glowing Chasm is not the latest manifestation of the Silver Flame.

771. It is wrong to tell Paladins this.

772. ...but if you can convince a few Cardinals, nobody we know will miss them.

773. There are no tribes of clawfoot-riding Halflings who wear beards, dark goggles and black leather jackets with studs on the back spelling out 'Khyber's Couatls'.

774. The Demon Wastes are not the Ashlands, nor does a Rakshasa Rajah named Dagoth Ur live in the volcano north of Ashtakala.

775. And even if he does, you are not the true Nerevarine.
Androlphas

09-24-05, 07:31 AM		776. At the lightning rail station, you are not allowed to respond to the House Orien guards with: "Traveling papers? We don't need no stinking traveling papers!"

777. Kundarak Bank is not Gringots.

778. Even if goblins are sometimes employed there.

779. And there is no Diagon Alley in Sharn.

780. When surrounded by Xen'drik drow after stealing their ancient idol, speaking Jovitos will not save your party.

781. Nor can you command said drow to attack your rivals through hissing and sign language.

782. The following character concept is prohibited: A dwarf artificer who became an adventurer after discovering a Myconid Kingdom in Khyber by traveling through the sewer pipes of Sharn.

783. No character can cast fireball after eating a flower, regardless of concept.

784. You cannot stump Merrix d'Cannith by asking him: "What is the riddle of steel?"

785. Telling a warforged the answer to said riddle may cost you your life.

786. You shall not paint Riedran monoliths in bright colors.

787. Even if it is in accordance with your druidic holiday.

789. A warforged repair kit does not contain a hydrospanner.

790. The Mror Monument in the Ironroot Mountains is not the secret base of a world-wide police organization.
ravenspawn

09-24-05, 09:22 AM		791 : Psion shapers ,went they conjure up an astral construct, DO NOT yell out "Astralmon, i choose you!" nor "I play Astral Warrior in attack mode!"
Euangelion

09-24-05, 10:40 AM		792 We will not name the secret 'companionship club' we run out of the Silver Flame monastery "Flurry of Blows."
pilias_simber

09-24-05, 11:09 AM		793. When in a bar, yelling "Kill the halflings" will not cause the Orcs to go into a frenzy. Causing a huge bar brawl.

794. It is unwise to try such things when your Paladin speaks Orc.
LugWrench

09-24-05, 11:26 AM		793. When a Cyran refugee laments the loss of their homeland, I will not slap them and say "The boat sank, get over it."

794. "Mordenkainen's Magnificent Duct Tape of Warforged Repair" does not exist, and I should not sell any more rolls of Duct Tape this way.

795. There is no way a warforgeds rear will light up like a lightning bug if they just 'flex the right muscle', and I should stop telling them this.

796. The poop deck IS a deck, but is used for something else.

797. No, you cant invent Phoenix air-to-air missiles.

798. I will not paint the elf black while they sleep.

799. Areneal elves worship 'deathless' elves, not a 'bunch of old farts'.

800. A warforged's nose will not get longer if they lie, and I should stop telling this to the warforged.

801. There is no artifacer named Gipetto that will make any warforged into a 'real little boy'. I shoul stop telling this to the warforged, as well.

802. The Shifter is not named Scooby-doo.
Aneul

09-24-05, 11:55 AM		803) Thou shalt not infer that King Kiaus was turned into a vampire by a sentient runeblade Vol sent him as a birthday gift.

804) Therefore, you may not refer to him as "Arthas", nor hint that Vol is simply a gender confused Lichking.

805) By the same logic, there is no army of undead preparing to cleanse Khorvaire of the living races in preperation for a demonic invasion...and Karnnath wouldn't have anything to do with it, if there was.

806) Under no circumstances are you to free Rajahs, not even if they promise to say "tremble mortals, and dispaire, Doom has come to this world!" when they get out.

807) Refrain from calling that tride of Orc barbarians in the Demon Wastes who serve the Rajahs the "Blackrock Clan", "Warsong Clan", or demanding to speak with Grom Hellscream upon capture by said orcs.

808) Thou shalt not join Pontiff Jaela's personal gaurd in order to get close enough to cast "heightened extended charm person" on her outside of Flamekeep, were her Will save isn't epic.
Kinger

09-24-05, 12:33 PM		809. For the last time, you do NOT need a codpiece of holding.

810. The artificer would not build you one, regardless.

811. You shall not retort the villian's bravado by yelling "How appropriate. You fight like a cow!"

812. Insults need not rhyme when you're an airship pirate.

813. While wit is useful for picking up chicks, skill with a sword is much more useful in a battlefield situation. Knowing the proper response to every insult your opponent makes will not help you win.

814. Nobody falls for "Look! A three-headed monkey!"

815. Under no circumstances will we be looking for the fabled treasure of Big Whoope.

816. Stop asking. I'm serious.
LugWrench

09-24-05, 01:21 PM		817. There is no Evil Monkey hiding in my footlocker.

818. My name is not Neo.

819. Using a Silence spell on the badguy during his tirade, while appreciated, is bad form.

820. Robbing the rich and feeding the poor wont get me a 'freebe' from the hot paladin chick.

821. Lighting the campfire with alchemists fire and a bottle of hooch is a bad idea.

822. Must refrain from using Ray of Frost on the paladin chick's breastplate just before she takes it off.

823. Unless I have been double-dog dared to do so.

824. Nobody wants to hear my impression of Tira Miron.

825. Flapping your arms doesnt give you the ability to fly. And I must stop telling the gnomes, halflings, and warfoged so.

826. Must not refer to the halfling barbarian as runt, squirt, shorty, or mini-me.

827. Jamming a quil in the warforgeds ear and twisting his nose will not sharpen the quil. I must stop telling the wizards this.

828. Must not encourage the group to enter combat from the airship via HALO drop.

829. Gnomes dont bounce.
Reinforcements

09-24-05, 01:28 PM		830. Feline shifters are neither cute nor fuzzy.

831. ... okay, they are. But don't call attention to it.

832. The warforged is not named "HAL."

833. If he is, he does not have a master named "Dave."

834. If he does, and Dave asks him to do something, he can do it perfectly well, thank you very much.

835. No members of the Llesh Haruuc's court "have the power."

836. Especially not the power of voodoo.

837. And they definitely don't "remind him of the babe."

838. Aundair does not defend its fortresses through the use of scathing taunts and flung farm animals.

839. No, you may not play a kender.

840. Or a gully dwarf.

841. Or ever say or do anything that has anything to do with Dragonlance. EVER.
LugWrench

09-24-05, 02:01 PM		842. I must not fill the wizards inkwell with vanishing ink.

843. There is no fourteenth Dragonmark, and I am not its only scion.

844. Warforged do not run on D-cell batteries.

845. King Kaius is not to be refered to as 'that pervy bastard'.

846. Unless hes out of earshot.

847. I do not have the power to call an Inquisition against the Silver Flame.

848. I will not attack the darkness with Magic Missiles.

849. My compass does not point to the Illa de Muerta.

850. I will not paint copper pieces gold and sell them as 'Pre-Galifar coins'.

851. Except to Morgrave University.

852. I will not use the airship to make beer runs.

853. Pizza runs are still okay.

854. But I wanted a BUD LIGHT!

855. I am not to stop on island LV-426 to check out a distress call.

856. I am not to tease the shifter with an inflatable sheep.

857. Unless the shifter is really drunk.

858. The Fury is not 'just a misunderstood person whos really nice and fuzzy once you get to know her'.

859. I am not to Scry the womens shower.

860. Unless I have the captains approval.

861. And charge the crew 1 gp per head to watch.
Thwyvylyn

09-24-05, 02:54 PM		862. I will not refer to the blue haired shifter with longstride as "Sonic"

863. Even if that's his name

864. Nor when he shifts will he be said to be going "Super Sonic"

865. Merrix d'Cannith is not Dr. Robotnik in disguise.

866. Kaius is not Meier Link in disguise

867. Nor is he "D"

868. Vol is not Carmella
Thwyvylyn

09-24-05, 03:24 PM		869. There is no such position in the Church of Silver Flame as Pontifical Bikini Inspector

870. Nor shall you apply to said position

871. Nor shall you get Jaela to wear said bikini whether or not you claim to be the inspector.
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon

09-24-05, 03:24 PM		872. No crew members are too get within 30 feet of Jaela. Not even the females. Or the warforged. But if you are dead and need a raise, then its okay.

873. Kobolds are not dogs.

874. No you can't have one.

875. Do not attempt to burn Aurula at the stake.
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 03:30 PM		871. It is wrong to attempt to reconcile with Queen Aurala by polymorphing into her deceased love of her life.

872. And only telling her you're not him the morning after.

873. Even if I did it.

874. Now that we've killed all the crew obsessed with the Pontiff, we're making a fresh new start.

875. There will be no stalking Pontiff Jaela's near identical eighteen year old paladin sister.

876. I don't care if she's hot as hell....

877. Why not? Because I've got these two pistols and what the captain says, goes!

878. I am not the father of Prince Jurian. Nor should I tell him that I am.

879. The Kalashatyr follow the path of light. Mine does not follow a variant called "The Path of Blow S*** up."

880. There will be no clones made of Jaela's near identical older sister in their adolescence.

881. That's it, you're all food for the sharks.

882. Apparent Apologies, the Paladin has explained the Silver Flame glow makes Jaela a target for reverence and love that is entirely nonsexual.

883. Recanting Apologies as soon a crew member referred to her sitting in laps as the closest thing to a lap dance you'll get...

884. There will be no fan art of Queen Aurala as a Sailor Scout.

885. Or a Porn Ear Elf.

886. You cannot "log out" of Eberron when I'm boring you with my rules.

887. Our secret base is not Blood Gulch outpost.

888. We do not have a tank named Sheila.

889. Or a warforged named Lopez.

890. Our enemies are not the Covenant....

891. Or the Red team.

892. No internet fanshows for any of you.

893. Or anime.

894. Or video games.

895. Or RPGs....wait...nevermind that last one.
Anzila

09-24-05, 03:52 PM		896. Karrnath does not have a shortage of holy water.

897. Nor should you try to end such a shortage by dumping holy water over the side of your airship onto the royal palace.

898. Repeat after me, "There are other solutions besides fireballs."

899. Do not refer to Orcs, goblins, ect. as happy meals for adventurers.

900. Scrying on the changing rooms of the five nation's royal families is a bad idea. Selling copies of what you saw on a street corner is a suicidal idea.
Lup1n3

09-24-05, 03:57 PM		906. I do not care if they have been raised/ressurected/reincarnated. We do not call the warforged Simmons 2.0

907. First person to call me Sarge gets keel-hauled.

908. No, we will not rechristen this ship "Foehammer" "Pillar of Autumn" or any other such nonsense.

909. New standing order. The artificer is not allowed anywhere near the warforged while those designs for a KOS-MOS retrofit still exist.

910. No, you may not paint the Forgotten Freedom black with red flames on it.

911. Not even if painting flames on it really does make it go faster.

912. Repeat after me. "I will not try to uproot First Tower with the Forgotten Freedom, some chain, and a rope ever again."

913. Even if it is an eyesore.

914. KP does not mean kitten patrol.

915. It is wrong to tell warforged this.

916. Repeat after me, "I will not taunt airborne dragons."

917. Even if you think you can take them.

918. No, the prophecy does not, in fact, reveal the Colonel's secret recipie.

919. I will not point out discrepancies between what we have been told, and at what age females are typically wed in a quasi-medieval society.

920. If I ever hear the words "Pants" "Bet" and "Jaela" in the same sentence again, I will hand you over to the Church of the Silver Flame myself, bound and gagged, with a note pinned to your shirt proclaiming you a heretic.
Thwyvylyn

09-24-05, 04:15 PM		921. The airship shall be under no circumstances renamed the "Highwind", nor the "Ragnorok", nor the "Hilde Garde I, II, or III", nor the "Invincible", nor the "Celsius"

922. Nor shall any of the pilots or artificers be named Cid

923. After we slay whatever it is we are fighting, we shall not have the bard play a lively and triumphant tune while we strike victory poses.

924. Unless I say so

925. The bound fire elemental is not named "Bomb"

926. His name is Earl
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 04:19 PM		Hey, 582 was a mistake btw LUPIN and has since been edited...also I don't think the miscounting explanation was given.

927. I cannot make a god call to Keith Baker.

928. Especially by calling his house late at night.

929. Even if I'm a girl.

930. The Knights of the Dinner Table are not examples of good roleplaying.

931. Nor are the crew from Nodwick.

932. No, we cannot invite Boranal to join the crew.

933. Even if he really wants to join.

934. It is wrong to loudly proclaim over megaphones during state Dinner that the Inspired ambassador is a possessing demon.

935. It is also not "a neat trick" to have the Exorcist of the Silver Flame his hand over the Inspired and shoot out their soul.

936. The new male sharpclaw shifter cannot have adamantium bonded to his skeleton.

937. He is not allowed to smoke cigars.

938. To say Bub.

939. To start with an implanted ring of regeneration and amnesia...

940. You cannot play Wolverine!

941. It is wrong to use my name and likeness on a label for spiced rum.

942. It is wrong to brew this brand on board the ship.

943. Especially during work hours.

944. The Dragon Prophecy's Ultimate Purpose is not to find the Secret of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

945. Nor is the answer 42.

946. Buildings in Eberron do not miss the number 13 because everything else seems to lack it.

947. It is wrong to hide gellatinous cubes in the John.

948. It is also wrong to have it automatically flush over Fairhaven.

949. Do not serve Longstride Shifters roast rabbit.

950. Do not refer to as the Demon Wastes as "The Rakashasas' Litterbox."

951. Queen Aurala's brother is not the Wizard of Oz.

952. The Twelve are not a Band.

953. It is wrong to say that they are less exclusive than the Circle of Eight.

954. If we find a phone booth that times travels...in this unlikely event.

955. We will not kidnap celebrities of the past for a book report.

956. Or refer to any of us as "The Doctor."

957. Even the Doctor.

958. King Kaius does not run a series of vampire nightclubs

959. King Kaius' first vampire creation is not named Nicholas Knight.

960. Or Darla.

961. The ship's adventures are not "Just like the adventures of Jerry Seinfield only they involve piracy."

962. These rules are not optional.

963. They are not suggestions.

964. Destroying the List does not negate them.

965. You cannot take them to the Supreme Court.

966. Pleading insanity does not render you unable to follow them.

967. You do not have a medical condition that requires you to hug Jaela.

968. Or torment Queen Aurala.

969. Or steal from Kaius.

970. Or take insulin.

971. Err...sorry Jerry. I didn't realize you were a diabetic.

972. It is wrong to set us up the bomb.

973. The ghost of my former second in command does not haunt the ships' computer.

974. Or my tank.

975. There is no dying one of our crew's attire pink.

976. Even if Doughnut IS a little light in the loafers.
Lup1n3

09-24-05, 04:25 PM		977. No, the Silver Flame did not appear to you and command that you be Jaela's Consort.

978. Nor the Sovreign Host.

979. Nor the Dark Six.

Numbers, etc...

Alright. I'll be going through the list sometime after we reach a stopping point and making sure everything gets renumbered, with the exception of things that are obviously meant to be misnumbered.
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 04:27 PM		980. A silver haired girl claiming to be your child with her from the future is not proof.

981. Especially if she resembles suspiciously a bard you were seen paying money too the night before.

982. we do need five minutes to charge our secret weapon.

983. We do not fight futiley for several minutes before our 'special attack.'

984. We do not have a Victory Theme.

985. Or a victory pose.

986. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.
Ohtar Turinson

09-24-05, 05:14 PM		987. You may not have a "Chemo-kitty" for your familiar.

988. Even if they do need extra love.
Lup1n3

09-24-05, 05:33 PM		989. You do not have superpowers stemming from your boundless rage.

990. A shovel is not an acceptable substitute for the monk's quarterstaff.

991. The next person who asks the bard to "Play some Freebird" will be answering directly to the musicians guild.

992. See that sign on the wall? That's right. No Stairway.

993. Dreamlily is not an acceptable substitute for any of the following: Cilantro, Oregano, Basil, Cloves, Garlic, Salt, or Pepper.

994. No, you may not form a lobbyist group for the liberation of elementals.

995. There is no cow level.

996. The helmsman's name is not Maverick.

997. Nor is it Iceman.

998. We do not "rice out" the warforged.

999. Nor the Forgotten Freedom.

1000. When we are at speed, it is not acceptable to shout out "Vtec just kicked in yo!"

1001. Repeat after me, "We do not sell out Captain Jarlot to the authorities."
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 06:57 PM		And DONE.

Feel free to add more of course but the project itself is done.

Anyone have any particular favorites from this? If so which.

I only regret that I'm running the game so they can't show up in mine.

;-)

Some I regret not doing are

1002. In Karrnath, Cart does not drive you.

1003. Nor does it in Riedra.

1004. Maybe in the Lord of Blades' realm.

1005. We will not make the warforged give us rickshaw rides.

1006. Guy Fawkes day is not celebrated in Eberron.

1007. Especially not with blowing up Parliament.
Thwyvylyn

09-24-05, 07:56 PM		Let's see if we can get Hellcow to post here.
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 08:14 PM		Let's see if we can get Hellcow to post here.

Alas he says he's not reading lately.
Remiera

09-24-05, 09:34 PM		1008. DO NOT allow the artificer to fuse a poison gas spell into his finger, then later say, "Pull my finger."
LugWrench

09-24-05, 10:46 PM		1009. Jaela is not your betrothed.

1010. King Kaius is not 'your *****.'

1011. King Borenal does not 'owe you fifty from college'.

1012 The bard is to refrain from singing "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" as we leave port.

1013. The warforged is not a wind-up toy.

1014 Nor is he named Kryten.

1015 The ships cat is not a humanoid with a sense of style.

1016 There is no spoon.

1017 There IS a spork.

1018 The Gods dont engange in drinking contests.

1019 There are no leprechauns with pots of gold. I should not tell the greedy rogue this.

1020 They dont have Frosted Lucky Charms, either.

1021 Repeat after me, "I am not a bird, I am not an airship, I am not Superman."

1022. And you still arent Batman.
Lina_Inverse

09-24-05, 11:05 PM		1009. You will not polymorph yourself into a little boy and create a specilized invisibility spell that only jaela can see though and attempt to be her special friend.

1010. Or make said invisibility spell.
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon

09-24-05, 11:27 PM		Correct numbering....

1025. The next person who breaks any rules regarding Jaela will be smeared in food and told to walk the plank over an underwater temple of the Devourer.

1026. Please, refrain from casting random fireballs at sacred druid groves.....unless the captain says so.

1027. Any umbragen who is a ranger, has two scimitars, and has a black panther onyx figurine will be shot on sight.

1028. Clerics repeat after me "Undying are not to be turned."
Charles Phipps

09-24-05, 11:31 PM		1028. Clerics repeat after me "Undying are not to be turned."

1029. To the Dark Side of the Force.

1030. Japanese.

1031. You do not really think so. You do not really think so.

1032. Gay

1033. We will not offer to become Privateers for Kaius if he makes us an undead crew.

1034. Commander Adama could not do a better job than me.

1035. The Lord of Blades is not Doctor Doom.

1036. Nor am I.

1037. Cosmic Radiation will kill us, not give us superpowers.

1038. If the human race is largely destroyed by warforged, we will not flee with a ragtag military fleet to the mythical continent of Riedra.

1039. Or Earth.
LugWrench

09-24-05, 11:50 PM		1040. Warforged are not part of a secret group called "SkyNet".

1041 Putting springs on my Boots of Striding and Springing does not make me spring twice.

1042. A Darkskull is not a good wedding present.

1043. Or a good anniversary present, for that matter.

1044. Skeksis do not come from Khyber.

1045. Jaela does not want a piece of candy.

1046. Potions of Love are not to be used indescriminantly.

1047. For instance, at a State banquet.

1048. The captain of the Sharn Watch is not 'a jackbooted thug', and I should not try to convince others of this.

1049. I must not place bets on the effects of a Rod of Wonder.

1050. An Immovable Rod is not the ships emergency brake.

1051. I must not cast Alarm on the ships latrine.

1052. I must not cast Magic Mouth to say "WHEW!! What did you EAT?" when someone uses the latrine, either.

1053. I must not replace the clerics holy water with scotch.

1054. Or vodka, either.

1055. Undead cant get drunk.

1056. The cleric is not a 'sawbones'.

1057. The bard's songs are the greatest things I have ever heard.

1058 Unless she is not around to hear me.

1059 Then they are the tortured squaks of dying hapries.

1060 King Kaius does not belong to the Camarilla.

1061 Nor does he belong to the Sabbat.

1062. The elemental ring around the airship does not 'pull-start'.
Lup1n3

09-24-05, 11:58 PM		1009. You will not polymorph yourself into a little boy and create a specilized invisibility spell that only jaela can see though and attempt to be her special friend.

1010. Or make said invisibility spell.

Bravo plan is no go. Repeat, bravo plan is no go. Let's get to work on Charlie plan.
Charles Phipps

09-25-05, 12:29 AM		835. No members of the Llesh Haruuc's court "have the power."

836. Especially not the power of voodoo.

837. And they definitely don't "remind him of the babe

Are my favorites of these probably.

Fun filled fact, "Runs Like Hell" who helped inspire this list's longevity actually appeared in a Werewolf: The Apocalypse supplement. It was an interesting homage to the fans.

The best part of this list to me is that alot of the crew and their attitudes almost have their own personality as shaped by this list (well different from the originators in my game).

Kudos again.
LugWrench

09-25-05, 12:40 AM		Im impressed that we got this list this far in about a single day. Everyone just tossed in their two cents, rediculous happenings, or what have you and blew past the 1001 mark.
Im also happy to see that nobody got upset about a post, or flamed someone for posting. :)
Rake

09-25-05, 05:09 AM		1063. The artificer will not build a 'holodeck'. Did any of you actually -watch- Star Trek? Do you not know what happens?

1064. The artificer will not build a wonderous item with unlimited uses of detect secret doors, detect traps, and silence so as not to have to pay the rogue a share of treasure for his services.

1065. The capitan will not address the airship's "AI".

1066. Especially with the command "main screen turn on."

1067. No officer shall report that anyone has "set us up the bomb".

1068. Even if they have.

1069. You will not refer to the Lhazaar Principalities as "evil Canada".

1070. In all seriousness, you will not do a barrel roll.

1071. The barbarian will not refer to his rage as a 'limit break'.

1072. We do not waste a wish spell wishing for theme music.

1073. Especially not the Final Fantasy victory theme.

1074. Or the Batman theme.

1075. Because (say it with me..!) you are not Batman.

1076. Even if you have levels in artificer, rogue, and the Master Inquisitive PrC.

1077. The artificer will not craft a "batmarang".

1078. Nobody may call 'dibs' on NPC commoner's EXP values.

1079. Nor on Jaela.

1080. Even if you use an action point.
Ravenfeather

09-25-05, 05:19 AM		1063. Your character may not control the mists of the Mournland (adopted from our Ravenloft campaign).

1064. Not every ridge is a good place to throw the anchor.

1065. Especially not the spires of Sharn

1066. The Glass Plateau is not a good place for ice scating.

1067. Whenever you succeed a spot check though shalt not announce this by say "Listen! I smell something."

1068. You do not have to ask "Anybody at home, MacFly" whenever you cast a knock spell.

1069. Nor is the formula "Knock, knock, Neo!"

1070. When your female char wakes up besides a handsome guy with a smile on her face it is not funny to say "Why, oh, why didn't I take the blue pill?"

1071. Even though their facial expressions may be poor warforged are not constantly stoned. Thus though shalt not name them "Stoners"

1072. Your warforged does not have to say "I'll be back" everytime it leaves.

1073. When you're being asked wether you were a god, you say "Yes!"

1074. Deathless do not particulary enjoy Alphaville in general or "Forever Young" in particular.

1075. The next bard who wants to play eighties music will be thrown overboard. Without harp.

1076. You shall not call the ships personality HAL nor remove its memory banks.

1077. Remember that the ships personality may read lips.

1078. Giant crystal balls of *beep*, drugs and rock n' roll do not exist.

1079. Kaius will not borrow you his harem.

1080. Warforged does not have anything to do with Warhole. Thou shalt not name your warforged Andy Warhole.

1081. Nor have pop-art airbrushes.

1082. The default way to use the ship in the dock is walk over the plank. Not to swing at a chord from the main mast and scream "Geronimooooooo!"

1083. The warforged or any other character who weighs more than 1000 pound while not having particular large feet should not go first in the swamp.

1084. Thou shalt not call your goblin servant Tody.

1085. Trying to talk ghosts in the Mournland into being nihilists and dissolve is not an approved tactic.

1086. Not every level of Sharn below the one you are currently at is automatically a grabage dumb.

1087. Brilliant energy longswords are not lightsabers.

1088. Thou shalt not quote the monologue of Lady Macbeth in Queen Aurela's presence.
Phaseroth

09-25-05, 07:40 AM		I know I'm really really late with this, but...
194. Jaela's birthday six years from now will not be a cause for celebration because she turns 'legal'
She's eleven, so I think you mean seven years. Unless, of course, she has turned twelve in your campaign.

However, the correct answer is actually four years, because the RAW indicate that humans in D&D settings reach adulthood at fifteen.
:D

Yes, I'm a dirty old man.
Straylight

09-25-05, 07:43 AM		1089: No, the Artificer cannot build a lightsaber.

1090: Nor can he make the ship make point five past lightspeed.

1091: The Elemental Ring is not a garbage disposal.

1092: Or a cigarette lighter.

1093: The Warforged is not allowed to "light up" a Noxious Smokestick.

1094: It is not time to buzz the tower.

1095: You may not annoy the elemental by firing Rays of Frost at the Ring.

1096: You cannot make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.
LugWrench

09-25-05, 12:48 PM		1097. You still arent Batman.

1098. Walking up a flight of stairs does not mean you 'went up a level'.

1099. The Draconic Prophesy is not "Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse".

1200. Niether is it "six parts gin to one part vermouth'.

1201. We are not allowed to send messages to the Bad Guy reading "If youre not wearing any underwear, smile."

1202. The warforged will NOT refer to him self in conversation in the third person, nor is he to start a sentence with "Me, Grimlock....."

1203. He is not allowed to start a barbarian rage by shouting "HULK SMASH!", either.

1204. Lammania is not the 'forest plain of Endor'.

1205. When repairing the warforged, be sure to attach his legs so he 'wont have to be in this rediculous position'.

1206. The Cogs are not to be refered to as Slumsville.

1207. Even if they are a slum.

1208. I may not sell the shifter for magic beans.

1209. I may not form chain gangs.

1210. Frostfell is not 'the Great White North'.

1211. I will not ask Karnnathi citizens if they eat Karnnathi Bacon or regular Bacon.

1213. Bug spray does not work on Stirges.

1214. Daelkyr do not need to 'mellow'.

1215. The Lords of Dust are not a drug gang.
Thwyvylyn

09-25-05, 01:42 PM		1216. An arcane caster from Lhazaar is not a "Wizard of the Coast"

1217. It is wrong to tell the warforged this

1218. The warforged is not Ironman

1219. Nor does he have jetboots

1220. Nor is the artificer allowed to make such a thing

1221. Nor is he allowed to make a "Beam Cannon"

1222. For the last time there is no gunpowder in Eberron

1223. And no you still aren't batman

1224. Stop telling the warforged this as well
The Fireballed Mage

09-25-05, 06:28 PM		1225. You are not to convert to LG, take levels as a paladin of the Silver Flame, then fall and prestige class into blackguard simply because you think Pontiff Jaela would find a ‘bad boy’ irresistible.

1226. It is also wrong to suggest this plan to the paladin, or any who are LG anyway.

1227. You shall not refer to the warforged as, “Your plastic pal who’s fun to be with.”

1228. You will not draw of moustache on The Face of Tira.

1229. Nor a pair of glasses.

1230. Nor will you pay someone to do it for you.

1231. Nor enscroll them to do it either.

1232. No one on the crew will every say, “What happens in Atur, stays in Atur.”

1233. You will not refer to the Crimson Monastery as, “The Blood Bank.”

1234. You will not create a Karrnath military structure named any of the following: Fort Spleen, Fort Toenail, Fort Eyelash, Fort Small Intestine, or a fort named after any other part of a body.

1235. You will not put a bumpersticker on the airship that says, “My alma matter is Rekkenmark Academy.”

1236. Even if it was.

1237. We do not go to the plane of Daanvi before ordering out. The Plane of Perfect Order does not have anything to do with ordering food.

1238. I don’t care if Dal Quor is the Region of Dreams, you still aren’t allowed anywhere near Jaela, even in that plane.

1239. You shall not refer to the souls existing in Dolurrh as, “Deadheads.”

1240. We do not have to go to Fernia to roast marshmallows.

1241. Nor do we have to summon extra fire elementals just for that purpose. Use the ring around the airship like everybody else.

1242. You shall not open a portal to Irian just to get a tan.

1243. The Faerie Court does not mean what you think it does.

1244. You are not to arrange for Pontiff Jaela to travel to Thelanis for 312 days, simply so she’ll be 18 years old when she comes back.

1245. Nor 676 days, so she’ll be 25.

1246. In fact, you’re not allowed near her at all. Get over this obsession.

1247. You are not to do evil things then say, “But I was possessed. A demon made me do it.”

1248. Unless that is the truth.

1249. In which case we’ll have a Exorcist of the Silver Flame exorcize you.

1250. I said an Exorcist! Pontiff Jaela doesn’t have any levels in that class, so don’t bother getting yourself possessed.

1251. The artificer infusion ‘Suppress Requirement’ does not suppress Thanish age of consent laws.

1252. The spell is ‘Feast of Champions,’ not ‘Breakfast of Champions.’

1253. There is no official skill called ‘sexual prowess.’

1254. Thus, the artificer can not create a ‘skill enhancement’ item to improve your roll on said skill.

1255. You will not take control of any of the Towers of Arcanix and dunk them in Lake Galifar.

1256. Or any other bodies of water.

1257. No one shall alter the maps. Its name is Lake Dark, not Lake Darkwing Duck.

1258. We do not throw nets over the side of the airship, drag them along the ground, pull them up and refer to anything inside as, “the catch of the day.”

1259. You will not refer to a group made up of House Vadalis, House Ghallanda, and House Cannith as, “the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker.”

1260. A Prospector’s Rod is a magic item for finding minerals in the ground. It is not a euphemism for a part of the half-orc’s body.

1261. An Essence of the Scout component for warforged does not require, literally, ‘the essence of the scout.’

1262. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.

1263. Zakya Rakshasaes are not to be referred to as, “T-I-Double-grrr-E-R.”

1264. You will not learn the spell clone, simply in the hopes of finding a lock of Pontiff Jaela’s hair somewhere. According to the spell description that won’t work, and besides… that’s just sick.
Missekat

09-25-05, 07:00 PM		This rocks.. I literally cried with laughter the whole way through.
At this moment my stocmach hurts so bad I could cry again :weep:

I have got to show my party this!!
Charles Phipps

09-25-05, 08:02 PM		1265. There will be no cloning Jaela to 18 years old so there's enough for everyone.

1266. Jaela's mother is not a MILF.

1267. Nor is Queen Aurala.

1268. King Boranal's eldest daughter is not to be referred to as "my ticket to monarchial goodness"

1269. King Boranal's younger daughter is not to be referred to as "my backup plan to monarchial goodness."

1270. King Boranal romance with his wife is to not to described with the song from the Brady Bunch nor are they to be referred to as the "Borry Bunch."

1271. We not going to paint the warship orange with a Big Cyrean flag on the bottom.

1272. It is not the General Lee.

1273. We are not a bunch of "Good ol Boys"

1274. Nor do we give "Rebel Yells"

1275. Marish the Catgirl can wear Daisy Dukes.

1276. Queen Aurala's slightly overweight brother is not to be referred to as "Boss Hog"

1277. It is impossible to make an airship go fast enough to make leaps across ravines without using the flying mechanism.

1278. Nor will we use it stop in mid air to make narrations.

1279. Even if we put wheels on it.
Euangelion

09-25-05, 08:41 PM		1280 The airship does not contain a 'flux capacitor."

1281 It is not powered by 'Mr. Fusion.'

1282 It cannot reach 88 miles per hour, not even in a dive, so we're not going to try, so stop asking already.

1283 It is not produced by d'Lorien (or even L. d'Orien. Scary coincidence, eh?) and it is not made of stainless steel, whatever that is.
Brastan

09-25-05, 09:00 PM		1284. Ducks are not Air to Air missiles.

1285. Chickens and cows are not to be used as ammunition during airship bombing runs.
yossarius

09-25-05, 09:44 PM		1286) Signing Marish the Catgirl up to be the pontiff's holy playmate is strongly discouraged (yes, even is you offer to scry them for the whole crew while 'at play').

1287) No one may refer to the warforged as "paranoid androids."

1288) When we are repelling borders, demanding that they "go away or you shall taunt them a second time" is a waste of valuable resources. Stop it.

1289) Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are the deathless to be referred to as "Bubba Ho-teps."

1290) No feat from the Book of Erotic Fantasy works on Jaela. Get over it.

1291) "Eat my shorts," is not a proper response to the villian's monologue.

1292) Where the Cleansing is concerned, shifter are not to be encouraged to "get over it."

1293) Anyone caught "doing the robot" with the warforged had better be dancing.

1294) No one may start a religion that worships twinkies.

1295) Even though they are filled with wholesome goodness.

1296) And are, in fact, the most awesomest snack food ever invented.

1297) No, your character cannot devolop a tolerance for dreamlily.

1298) Whomever has been betting the title to the ship on the kobold races had better stop it.

1299) I don't care how many times you've won.

1300) Just because the shifter hasn't bathed today, you may not refer to him as "Pigpen" or "the Lord of the Flies."

1301) Stop encouraging the changeling to "look like Jaela" for you.

1302) Stop feeding books to the shifters (it doesn't matter that they don't know the difference).

1303) "Dee-dee-dee" is not a proper response to anything.

1304) When a party member dies, no one may exclaim, "OMG, you killed Kenny! You :censored:s!"

1305) And Mr Hanky does NOT live in the Cogs.
Thwyvylyn

09-25-05, 09:46 PM		1306. The warforged do not have smell resistance

1307. It is wrong to tell them so

1308. If for any reason you meddle in the affairs of the Chamber, I will personally tie you up and hand them a bottle of ketchup.
LugWrench

09-26-05, 02:24 AM		1309. The Lord of Blades CAN chew nails and spit coins.

1310. You cant.

1311. The Mournlands is not to be reffered to as "The Deadlands".

1312. The group sorcerer is not a 'huckster'.

1313. You may not Wish Jaela to be 18 years old.

1314. So stop trying to bribe every wizard to cast the spell.

1315. The airship does not have a CD player.

1316. Hell, it doesnt even have an 8-track player.

1317. The shifter will not be reffered to as 'Morris'.

1318. Even if he does tend to hum the damned 'Meow Mix' song.

1319. We are not Greyhound and do not drive you anywhere for 69 gp.

1320. For the love of the Host, DONT leave the driving to us.

1321. You are not allowed to try to skip the gnome across Lake Mirror.

1322. You are not allowed to bullfight a Gorgon.

1323. Not even if Jaela promises 'a kiss to the winner'.

1324. When the bad guy is done with his tirade, do NOT ask "You and whos army?"

1325. For he will show you whos army.

1326. Never ask the bad guy if he has ever had an evilgasm.

1327. Never ask the evil woman "Do you douche?"

1328. The first person to say 'TGIF' DIES!!!!

1330. You will not sacrifice minions to solve a problem.
Lup1n3

09-26-05, 02:32 AM		Gah, looks like I have some catching up to do to get the page updated.
Charles Phipps

09-26-05, 02:38 AM		These are all sadly true...

You don't have to Lupin, we appreciate merely to 1001+, work on those and if you feel any are particularly funny. Incorporate them. This is just for fun at this point.

1131. You will not befriend the Elemental and call him Kitt.

1132. The fire ring cannot be made to look like a blinking light in a triangle in front of the ship

1133. David Hasslehoff has not been cool for two decades...

1134. If ever.

1135. You will not have the Wolf Shifter magician helmsman cast cantrips on the ship to make "Airwolf" noises.

1136. We cannot rebuild your character...

1137. We do not have the technology.

1138. Stop trying to make unholy experimentations of grafting warforged parts.

1139. To answer the question definitively, NO you cannot harvest mirthril or adamantine from dead warforged! It's like graverobbing!

1140. The fact that graverobbing doesn't deter you should not encourage you!

1141. Would you cut off the fingers of someone turned into gold by polymorph!

1142. Yes is not a good answer.

1143. NO YOU CAN'T TRY IT!

1144. You cannot get a dragonmark through skin grafts. So stop trying.

1145. What the hell is wrong with your cleric!?

1146. No, you cannot breed hippogriffons.

1147. Or give THEM warforged grafts.
Lina_Inverse

09-26-05, 02:52 AM		1148. You shall not attempt to become thranish privateers to get on jaelas good side.
LugWrench

09-26-05, 03:07 AM		I wonder if Kieth Baker is taking notes. :rolleyes:

1148. The Devourer is not the All Powerful Sarlac.

1149. There are no Tusken Raiders in Valenar.

1150. Just because elves have pointy ears does not mean they 'know this guy named Spock'.

1151. We dont have phasers or photon torpedos on the airship.

1152. We dont even have a cuisinart.

1153. Unless you count the warforged with the Whirlwind feat.

1154. Its pretty Bitc#in to see.

1155. No, he cant demonstrate it, right now.

1156. You are not allowed to make a film of the Sharn Watch in action and call it "Troops"

1157. Nor can you call it "COPS".

1158. And there is no show called "Aundair's Most Wanted".

1159. And you may not make one.

1160. Khorvaire's Wildest Watch Chases is okay.

1161. 'knock yourself out' is NOT a literal phrase, nor a legal order.

1162. So stop telling it to the warforged.

1163. YOU STILL ARENT BATMAN!! GIVE IT UP, ALREADY!!!

1164. Sneaking into the womens showers does not qualify you as an Extreme Explorer.

1165. Ships Log entries are not to be made in L33t 5p33&.

1166. Anyone caught doing so will be keel-hauled.

1167. Twice.

1168. You will not gloat ever a kill by saying "I PWNED HIM!!"

1169. See rules number 1166 and 1167 about this one.

1170. Wizards are not to use their Teleport spells to telefrag someone.

1171. See rule number 1169 about this one.

1172. The Shifters must clean their own hair out of the shower drains.

1173. You are not allowed to tell rookies that its their job.

1174. Especially the hot ones.

1175. Going out with a Salamander is not a 'hot date'.

1176. Even though it will be a hot date.

1177. The snake charming trick doesnt work on Yuan-ti.

1178. Stop telling the bard this.

1179. The artifacer is not 'Mr. Goodwrench'.

1180. A wand of Light is not to be refered to as a MagLite. And you cannot use it to 'crack some skulls'.

1181. Casting Grease on the inside of a pail, and casting Heat Metal on the pail will not let you deep fry anything.

1182. You may not bungee jump from the ship.

1183. We are not on a five-year mission.
Charles Phipps

09-26-05, 03:13 AM		I wonder if Kieth Baker is taking notes. :rolleyes:

I salute Keith and his answers for giving me some of my best non-party material

;-)'
sooperspook

09-26-05, 03:32 AM		This is the funniest thing i have EVER read on these boards. In fact, on Any boards, ANYWHERE!

Can I be in your groups? Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeeee?!?! ?!

:rofl:
Thwyvylyn

09-26-05, 03:39 AM		I think the numbering is off but I am not sure. In any case this thread deserves to be kept alive. And on that note.

1384. There is no such thing as "Phoenix Down".

1385. If there were such a thing it could not be used to "one-shot" Kaius

1386. or Vol

1387. or Moranna

1388. or any other undead

1389. Telling the warforged this may get you keel hauled or simply "Volunteered" into the Karrnathi Army.

1390. And no, I have no idea what effect said imaginary "down" would have on Deathless.

1391. You may not test it out on them

1392. Even if the artificer can somehow make it

1393. If he does, you two will walk the plank over The Lair of the Keeper

1394. The Lair is not to be referred to as the "Souls R' Us"
Charles Phipps

09-26-05, 03:43 AM		I think the numbering is off but I am not sure.

As stated, the Captain can't count so don't worry about.

;-)
Lina_Inverse

09-26-05, 04:55 AM		1385. You shall not invite a priest of "keith baker" onto the ship. I dont care if his domain power makes our daring exploits easier.

1386. You will not infer that said keith baker is the lord above the progenerator dragons, espilly with the fact the propechy constantly refrences a bakers dozen.

1387. Due to the ship being nearly destroyed by the thrannish inquision, All crew members are banned from changeling brothels.

1388. Espilly the warforged.

1389. Do not ever ask me to explain the why behind the last two.

1390. If you do i will hereby remove you from the ship, Over Xen'drik.

1391. You are not batman! and jaela is DEFINITLY not batgirl OR catwoman.
Lup1n3

09-26-05, 05:31 AM		1392. Nor is she Birdgirl.
1393. No, you may not have a living fireball as a familiar. Especially not on my ship!
Nurgan_the_drunked

09-26-05, 05:54 AM		1394: Daelkyr do not look human "to save on the SFX"

1395: Smashing a vase of flowers over their head is not a good tactic

1396: Imbuing artificer tools with sonic energy does not help them repair things

1397: Especially the screwdrivers

1398: Creatures from Xoriat look like terrifying monsters from a world of insanity, not men in dodgy rubber suits.

1399: Nor do they walk menacingly towards us so painfully slowly that you can get away at a brisk pace

1400: The warforged cannot purchase a "stomach of holding"

1401: Don't go near freaky looking kids in the mournlands

1402: Don't go near normal looking kids in the Mournlands

1403: Especially ones asking if we've seen their mummy

1404: or hair covering the front of their face

1405: Don't go near old folks in the Mournlands

1406: Don't go near solitary corpses in the Mournlands

1407: Look, just don't go into the Mournlands

1408: The warforged's animal companion is not a construct dog called K9

1409: Success is not measured in Vol-au-vonts

1410: Even if the ambassador's party covers our food need for months

1411: There is a limit to how much weight the cleric can carry

1412: Ancient temples exceed this limit.

1413: Especially if they were built by giants

1414: People in Sharn do not "just pee off the walkways"

1415: This is not an explanation of why it's always raining there

1416: No warforged bard or aristocrat is allowed to be "fluent in more than six forms of communication"
Lup1n3

09-26-05, 06:56 AM		1417. You are not to plunge an airship filled with explosive powder with a +5 holy lance as its prow at full throttle into anything, ever (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?p=7351226#post7351226)
Capt. Caim "Bloody" Truel

09-26-05, 07:00 AM		1418. Especially not King Kaius' royal suite.
1419. Even if he is a Nazi.

"You'll always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Caim 'Bloody' Truelove!"
Capt. Caim "Bloody" Truel

09-26-05, 07:14 AM		1420. No matter how much the big scary lizard men insist it is honourable for a great warrior, you will not eat the cooked body of the dead Shifter Silver Flame cleric after his death in a massive battle over land in Xen'drik
1421. Even if you drunken captain threatens to make you walk the plank if you don't.
Alisair Longreach II

09-26-05, 07:14 AM		1422 Just because the Wizard wears a pointy hat does not mean he "know this dude named Gandalf".

1423 or Belgarath.

1424 or Rincewind.

1425 or especially not Elminster.

Edited numbering
Scaer_Vieliss

09-26-05, 11:22 AM		1426. The Warforged is not to flail his arms and shout "Danger! Danger!"
1427. Even if there is danger.
1428. When we meet the cleric of the Silver Flame, leave the pea soup on the ship. And stop hissing and cowering when you see his holy symbol.
Argonel

09-26-05, 11:49 AM		1429. It is never a good idea to throw you employer off a mountain.
1430. Even if the job was more difficult than anticipated and kills many friends/co-adventurers
1431. Wilting celery is not an indication you are in a hazardous environment.
1432. OK, maybe it is, non-wilting celery does not mean the atmosphere is safe though.
1433 The warforged may disregard the last two items.
Argonel

09-26-05, 02:02 PM		1434. Dragon hearts are not crystalline
1435. They are not required to power warforged titans.
1436. Anyone even thinking about trying to prove or disprove this will be keelhauled.
1437. Warforged titans are not battery powered.
1438. Warforged titans can fight for more than five minutes.
1439. Warforged titans are niether sentient nor piloted. They are only slightly smarter than golems.
1440. Anyone disturbing warforged titans will be left behind.
1441. The mark on the warforged brow cannot be removed.
1442. Even if it could it would not destroy it.
1443. So stop threatening it with an erase spell.
1444. Repeat after me. No one on this ship is batman, not even the glidewing shifter.
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon

09-26-05, 04:23 PM		1445. Just because the dragons of Eberron on not the normal big treasure holding monsters does not mean they won't eat you if you annoy them.
Charles Phipps

09-26-05, 06:52 PM		These are the reasons you are not Batman.

1446. You are not a "Caped Crusader" if you happen to Crusade and wear a cape.
1447. It is not a utility belt if you happen to carry a bunch of gadgets that are useful around your waist.
1448. You are not the "Dark Knight" if you happen to wear black armor.
1449. Giving the King's Citadel a Continual light spell before an image of the Ship is neither cool nor advisable. Even if it does make an interesting signal for our help.
1450. A lightning couch spraypainted black and armed with weapons is not the Batmobile.
1451. It is not funny or interesting if all of you had your parents gunned down in a filthy alley before your eyes to inspire this quest.
1452. Kidnapping street orphans to train as sidekicks will likely get them killed.
1453. It is a BOOM-erang.
1454. Sharns' nickname is not "Gotham", even if it does have Gothic architecture.
1455. It is neither nifty nor fun to build your mansion over a cave to hide your vast array of tricks and crime laboratories.
1456. Marish is not to be referred to as Catwoman, even if she is a shifter thief.
1457. Queen Aurala's portly brother is NOT the Penguin.
1458. King Kaius may have a hot and sexy daughter and be out to purge the world but he is not Ra's Al Ghul.
1459. You cannot name the warforged Alfred and make him your butler.
1460. It is wrong even if the warforged agrees.
1461. King Boranal's brother who runs the Citadel is not "Comissioner Gordon."
1462. Even if his daughter is a redhead and fights crime with us.
1463. Making the sails like Batwings and painting the ship black does not make it the Batplane.
1464. Frank Miller will not do the comic adaptation of our lives.
1465. Sadly Keith Griffen will.
1466. Locking up all of our crazy villains in an asylum we pay for and name Gotham STILL doesn't make you Batman.
1467. Dressing up in a costume to attack muggers on rooftops randomly will not be the setup for them saying "What are you..."
1468. No matter how many times you try it.
1469. Do not encourage the wizard to cast illusions of balloons that say "Bomph", "Bamph", "SLAM" with every hit you make.
1470. We will not get a dimensional portal to kill Joel Schumacher for ruining the story.
1471. Scratch 1470, I'm willing to give you some leeway in this one.
1472. Making riddles in the sky with the airship so we can pretend the villain left them is stupid not adding mystique.
Kinger

09-26-05, 07:06 PM		Leaving Batman behind...

1473. The Chain of Command is a system of determining authority, not the chain you use to beat your unwilling subordinates until they realise who's in ruttin' command.
LugWrench

09-26-05, 07:15 PM		1426. No, the artifacer cannot imbue your tooth brush with 'sonicare' energy.

1427. The Hymn to Onatar is not "Amazing Wrench".

1428. Nor is it "Hammer time".

1429. Singing or dancing to either tune will get you flogged.

1430. Especially dancing to either tune.

1431. The proper way to ask for healing is not "YO, cleric! Beer me!"

1432. Khyber does not take the form of David Bowie.

1433. All of Eberron would unite to slay him if he did.

1434. Knowing all the cold-bases spells in existance does NOT make you Mr.Freeze.

1435. YOU ARE STILL NOT BATMAN!!

1436. You also weigh a little more than 108.

1437. The Mockery is not also known as 'Joker'.

1438. You are not allowed to stack a Deck of Many Things.

1439. The warforged is NOT to be lubed with molasses.

1440. Even if it does make him move faster.

1441. Having parts left over when you fix the warforged is probably a bad thing.

1442. The airship does not have afterburners.

1443. You are not allowed to air-bomb the Eldeen Reaches with cat nip to "chill out the shifters."

1444. Maximized, Heightened, Empowered Rays of Frost are just plain stupid.

1446. New crew members are not nOObs.

1447. The paladin chick will not 'loosen up after a few beers'.

1448. The bard is not a member in good standing of the Fraternity Tappa Kegga Brew.

1449. So stop asking him to tappa kegga brew.

1450. We dont have a wine cellar.

1451. We dont have a 5 star galley, either.

Whoops. Rolled a natural 1 to get the numbering right. :D
Charles Phipps

09-26-05, 07:16 PM		Leaving Batman behind...

1473. The Chain of Command is a system of determining authority, not the chain you use to beat your unwilling subordinates until they realise who's in ruttin' command.

On this ship, I think that order seriously needs to be retracted.
LugWrench

09-27-05, 01:32 AM		1473. The Mror Holds is not the location of the Mines of Mroria.

1474. Orcs and goblins are two seperate critters.

1475. But they are not as pathetic as Kobolds.

1476. Its pronounced 'Eye-gore'.

1477. It isnt Frooderick Frankunsteen. Its Frederick.

1478. Nazareth's "Hair of the dog" is not your theme song.

1479. Unless you are the Lord of Blades.

1480. Despite what you may have heard, 42 IS the Ultimate Answer.

1481. The captains brain does not run on citrus fruit.

1482. Despite what you may have heard, the name of the ships crew is not 'Certain Death'.

1483. Spam isnt a weapon of mass distruction.

1484. I should not tell the warforged this.

1485. Your seat cushon does not double as a floatation device.

1486. Neither does the gnome.
dondaldo

09-27-05, 01:35 AM		1498. I don't care how old yer halfling is he isn't wearing depends of holding!

1499. And no the articifer can't make him any!

1500. And no one at any time, any where, drink the warm, frothy, beer on the table in front of said halfling...its not beer!

1501. never put the 120 year old halfling on guard duty!

1502. Especially by himself or with a cranky barbarian!
Lup1n3

09-27-05, 01:38 AM		1503. Re: 1486. It is wrong to tell warforged otherwise.
Charles Phipps

09-27-05, 01:39 AM		1503. We will not make Metal Gear units to take over the world.

1504. My name is not Snake Eater.

1505. Solid Snake is not a reference to my genitalia.

1506. Nor can I pretend it is.

1507. We will not boast that we have 90% mortality rate.

1508. Not even to necromancers.

1509. We will not sell the dead to necromacers.

1510. Especially not King Kaius.
LugWrench

09-27-05, 01:59 AM		1511. The artifacer does not need to use empty beer cans to repair the warforged.

1512. We told you to do that BEFORE we left.

1513. No, we will not get fly-through.

1514. Any members of House Sivis are not to wander around, saying "Can you hear me now? Good."

1515. No, you can not have the last slice of pizza.

1516. Or the last beer, for that matter.

1517. The captain gets those.
Lup1n3

09-27-05, 02:03 AM		1518. Unless it is bitter.

1519. Or weak.
Charles Phipps

09-27-05, 04:01 AM		1518. Unless it is bitter.

1519. Or weak.

1520. Or made on the plane of radiance.

(Light Beer sucks)
Capt. Caim "Bloody" Truel

09-27-05, 04:09 AM		1521. The Kalashtar Soulknife is not allowed to claim that his silver coloured soulknife is a piece of the Silver Flame.
1522. It is wrong to tell Silver Flame worshipers this.
Lup1n3

09-27-05, 04:16 AM		1523. :censored:

1524. Am I understood?
Capt. Caim "Bloody" Truel

09-27-05, 04:23 AM		1525. You are especially to never tell this to Jaela. (Thanks to Lup1n3)

1526. If you do you will be keelhauled by the crew, until my ship gets tired.

"You'll always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Caim 'Bloody' Truelove!"
Lup1n3

09-27-05, 04:53 AM		1527. Being a ranger on my airship does not make you an Airborne Ranger.

1528. Nor does it mean you can sing cadences all day and night.

1529. The next person who shouts "Oohrah!" on this ship gets tossed over the side.

1530. There is always time for love.

1531. Stop calling me Dr. Jones.

1532. Whaddaya mean there's no pilot?!

1533. It belongs in a museum!

1534. Ah, who am I kidding. Let's divvy up the loot.

1535. No, you can not steal his pants.

1536. The staff is mine.

1537. New regulation. Phobias are not to be treated by punching the affected in the head.

1538. Ever.

1539. Telling the watch to cast an illusion spell of a bat silhouette over the towers of Sharn does not make you Batman.

1540. Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do it.
Rosary

09-27-05, 06:00 AM		1541: You are not to tell your stupid, big-ass fighter that there was an order of noble, feared, powerful knights called "The Knights of Suck-ee-Nam-Nam", and make him admire them so much, that he begins wearing their signature outfit consisting of a Napoleon-style, yellow hat, purple silk tabard, gigantic light-green puff-pants and knee-high blue leather boots.

1542: Even if there was such an order of (obviously colorblind) knights
Twinblades

09-27-05, 08:24 AM		1543. Crew members are to refrain from sticking a note to the Captain's back reading "Kiss my big fiery ring"...

1544. Especially the morning after Ship's Chilli Night.

1545. Crew are to cease petitioning the Captain to rename the ship the Enola Gay just because the Wizard can now cast Meteor Swarm.

1546. No we won't be mounting an expedition into the Keeper's lair to "liberate" his horse Binky
Nurgan_the_drunked

09-27-05, 08:42 AM		:rofl: After wasting yesterday morning trying not to burst into hysterics, I've now tried to copy it down, and wasted this morning trying not to burst into hysterics again. If I ever run an Eberron campaign, can the Forgotten Freedom show up as disorganized bad guys? And can my party hunt them down for mulltiple counts of indecency, violence, imitating a priest, piracy and selling "pontiff porn"? Can I please???

My favourites


5. Do not shoot the villain while he's monologuing, no matter how long he takes.
17. The Lord of Blades does not need to see the Wizard for a heart.
23. Queen Aurala is not the Wicked Witch of the West
24. Even if she is a witch and lives in the West and is of dubious morality
155. You will not shout "my ass" when talk of her benevolent rule is spoken.
29. Erandis D'Vol cannot be stopped by dropping a House on her.
87. The Gods of Eberron do not fail to appear on the earthly plane because I am "THAT" badass...
110. Being a pirate does not make me the ultimate enemy of Ninjas.
108. What most Mourners do not need is "A good slap"
184. The Emerald Claw is a frightening group of terrorists and undead worshippers, they are not to be judged by the fact their name sounds like a strip club or oriental restaurant.
204. You will not ask any Rakashasa Prince to endorse frosted flakes by saying "They'reee GREAAAAAT!"
194. Jaela's birthday six years from now will not be a cause for celebration because she turns 'legal'
270. Money acquired from corpses, treasure chests, robbed victims, and the like will be stored in banks and not buried on unfamiliar islands or placed in other dungeons with monsters hired from Droam to guard them.
326. Jaela being the Chosen is meant that she will be their spiritual leader and guide. It does not mean that she will get a highly educated Brelish demonologist to follow her while she hunts demons.
264. It is wrong to tell warforged that the proper greeting for a stranger from a culture he hasn't visited is to punch him in the face.
355. Elves dont call people "Mr. Anderson".
388. We are already the most wanted group in all of Eberron. Do not attempt to place bets on who can get their bounties up higher.
450. Stop spreading rumors that Merrix D'Cannith runs a chocolate factory with a Xen'drick orange gnome race and that you can get in by finding golden tickets hidden worldwide.
480. Pirates cannot survive falls of a million feet because we're Pirates and thus awesome.
811. You shall not retort the villian's bravado by yelling "How appropriate. You fight like a cow!"
879. The Kalashatyr follow the path of light. Mine does not follow a variant called "The Path of Blow S*** up."


And some more:

1543: You will not sell "Pontiff porn"
1544: ...unless it makes a really good profit
1545: You cannot find the Rajahs' location by tracing Darjeeling exports
1546: Aundarian spies do not say "Lizzen very carefullee I zhall say zis only once"
1547: even if they will
1548: The Karnathi are not looking for the painting of Tira Mirron with the big boobies
1549: But keep it hidden just in case
1550: The Emerald Claw leader is not watching multiple illusions of you, and never says "I'll get you next time Forgotten Freedom! Next time!"
1551: You will not start a strip joint called the "Emerald Claw"
1552: You are neither vengeance nor the night
1553: The wand of summoning nature's ally that summons whales does not make the ship go any faster
1554: Neither should it be used to "feed those poor starving Talentans"
1555: Jaela does not offer to help turn gay people
1556: Except undead ones, obviously
zhaven

09-27-05, 11:37 AM		793. When in a bar, yelling "Kill the halflings" will not cause the Orcs to go into a frenzy. Causing a huge bar brawl.

794. It is unwise to try such things when your Paladin speaks Orc.



this is my fav one, due to the fact that i was the one who did it, and this is my DM who posted it
LugWrench

09-27-05, 01:09 PM		1557. This ship does not have an Improbablity Drive.

1558. And you cant dare the artifacer to make one.

1559. Despite his claims to the contrary, the ships captain is not President of the Universe

1560. The proper way to handle posessed people is not 300 cc's of Thorazine.

1561. No, the pilot isnt drunk.

1562. At least, we hope he isnt drunk.

1563. You may not do a Tounch-N-Go landing with the airship.

1564. Stop sending love letters to Jaela marked "Open when you are legal."

1565. You dont have 'first dibbs' on her, either.

1566. Though shalt not use the warforged barbarians +5 Flaming Shocking Burst Vorpal Greatsword of Speed to butter your toast.

1567. Its just not right.

1568. Because its named the Silver Flame, doesnt mean it came in second.

1569. So stop telling that to Silver Flame worshippers.
Lathlander

09-27-05, 01:17 PM		1557: Do not tell the Minotaur that he can practice juggling with the halfling.
1558: Or the gnome
1559: Kobolds are ok though
1560: You cannot name you shifter Liono
1561: And you sword is not the Eye of Thundara
1562: The Atrificer will not make you one.
Charles Phipps

09-27-05, 02:18 PM		By all means, you're welcome to using these whacky morons.

1563. Our origin was not chronicled in "The History of the World Part I" as a counting house that rebelled and killed it's managers to sack walstreet.

1564. That's my story and I'm sticking too it.

1565. Flying across the edge of the map will not make us fly into the campaign setting handbook.

1566. Being Sky Pirates is not to be described "A lot like Star Wars except it's not in Space and doesn't involve fighting an Empire."

1567. No casting Enlarge on any extremities.

1568. Especially THOSE.

1569. Valenar Druid elven girls are not to be called "Deedlit"

1570. Would be paladins are not to be called "Parn."

1571. Do not cast enlarge on Elven ears so they look like anime elves. That's the equivalent of porno actresses for them.

1572. We will not try to use magiscience to create flying burning sharks to ride.

1573. Do not use illusions to give our ship motion blur.

1574. Warforged are not to be encouraged to adopt a female personality.

1575. The monk is forbidden from spouting wisdom by simply giving a statement then reversing it.

1576. For example. "For a warforged to become a human,he must first be human that becomes a warforged."

1577. "For the deck to be swabbed, the swabbed must be the deck."

1578. I do not appreciate one day just randomly waking up and the Boat has adopted a 70s Disco theme.
LugWrench

09-27-05, 04:08 PM		Kieth Baker must be crying, reading about these hopeless geeks. :)

1579. You may not hang a mini disco ball in the controll room.

1580. Fuzzy dice are okay.

1581. Do not ask the female shifter barbarian if shes 'put on a little weight'.

1582. We are not a bus, and we will not be back in 20 minutes.

1583. Our ship does not have the outline of a.......Winnebago.
Kinger

09-27-05, 04:23 PM		1584. Look, I already said no to the codpiece of holding. Unless you want a jockstrap of devouring instead, drop it.

1585. No, you can't have one for practical jokes! That was a threat, dammit!

1586. Boasting about the size of your ECL is not a good way to get chicks.
Charles Phipps

09-27-05, 04:51 PM		1589. I will not dress up as Santa to get Jaela to sit in my lap.

1590. Or in General.

1591. We will not head to the North Pole to find a lost tribe of Elves enslaved to an immortal druid.

1592. We need the huge amounts of coal he leaves us every year to power the ship.

1593. The warforged cannot crush coal into diamonds.

1594. No, the warforged cannot be given a cape of flying

1595. Painting him blue and red does not make him anymore "Super."

1596. It is wrong to tell him that regular Dragonshards weaken him, Siberys dragonshards remove his powers entirely, and Khyber Shards turn him evil.

1597. He is NOT the last survivor of a race of warforged from another planet!

1598. That Jaela has a 21 Charisma is not an excuse for all this.

1599. Queen Aurala's brother is not to be called "Fatty McGaylord."

1600. It's insulting to homosexuals to be compared with the tubby Lord chancellor that's why.

1601. Is not a Neil Gaiman comic.

1602. Is a very bad parody of a Neil Gaiman comic.

1603. When we kidnap Queen Aurala we will not sell her for "magic beans"

1604. The National sport of Aundair is not Quidditch.

1605. The Arcane Congress is not a democratically elected form of government.

1606. I will not run for it.

1607. Not even on the platform of less work for more money.

1608. I am not a Number.

1609. Leaving the ship will not be accompanied by the monologue "I will not make any deals with you. I've resigned. I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own. I resign."

1610. Do not give Numbers to crew new members.

1611. We do not Press anyone into service on the ship (usually)

1612. Especially not by gassing them and giving this speech when they wake up

Recruit: "Where am I?"
Pirates: "In the Village."
Recruit: "What do you want?"
Pirates: "Information. We want...information"

1613. You won't get it.

1614. Even if you insist by hook or by crook, you will.

1615. The first mate will not be referred to as "Number Two."

1616. I AM NUMBER ONE! Stop demanding to know who I am!

1617. Queen Aurala is not "Queen Amidala if she grew up to be a real frosty ****."

1618. Painting targets on the ship for the authorities when you're cross about your pay is not appreciated.

1619. The Captain's quarters is not the bathroom.

1620. Nor is the first mates.

1621. Do not fish for people over the side of the boat.

1622. Even in Aundair.

1623. A black tie dinner doesn't mean you show up naked but for a tie.

1624. We were attending a peace agreement with Aundair, it is counterproductive to smash through the windows on ropes from the ship.

1625. It is counterproductive to do that everytime we enter any building whatsoever.

1626. I am the original Captain Jarlot. I have not passed down my title several times to men named Wesley.

1627. It is not true we own property in Xen'drick.

1628. It is wrong to sell it to the warforged.

1629. When attending a ball, it is wrong to impersonate "The King of Asskickia"

1630. Eberron was not built by the Giants of Xen'drick to destroy all life in the galaxy.

1631. Stop telling the Master Cheif this.

1632. When we recieve news that the world is in dire peril and may be destroyed, the proper response is to stop it...not "Tell the Twelve and go about our merry way"

1633. A warforged's "grand slam" is not to be followed by an atomic elbow.

1634. Even if the warforged is named "Macho Man"
LugWrench

09-27-05, 05:12 PM		1633. The ring of Sibrys shards is not an ancient weapon called Halo.

1634. You cannot set the warfoged to 'stun'.

1635. Stop telling the artifacer its possible.

1636. We may not paint bomb markings on the side of the hull.

1637. We cannot paint dragon sillhouetes, either.

1638. We are not allowed to 'hit the door like titans'.

1639. Half the time, the door hits back.

1640. We are not martial law.

1641. You may not waterski behind the airship.

1642. You cannot hook up a propeller to a stationary bicycle to make the ship go faster.

1643. Even if you did, its wrong to tell the warforged its his job to pedal.

1644. I am not allowed to interrogate prisoners by shouting "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?!?"

1645. There is no division of the Dark Lanterns known as CTU.

1646. I am not Jack Bauer.

1647. I am not allowed to start each job by stating "The following takes place..."

1648. The privy is not a Planar Gate to Xoriat.

1649. I should not spread that rumor.
Vharuck

09-27-05, 05:26 PM		1650. There is no saying, "What happens in Xen'drik stays in Xen'drik."

1651. No, you may not start it.

1652. No matter what you did there.

1653. .....ewwww
Scaer_Vieliss

09-27-05, 05:30 PM		This is truly hilarious stuff. Here's my own meager contributions.

1654. The Warforged are not Rock'em Sock'em Robots.
1655. Stop selling tickets to these events.
Charles Phipps

09-27-05, 05:50 PM		1656. Trust me, I WILL notice if you replace the entire crew with muppets.

1657. Except Gonzo the Great, he fits right in.

1658. Animal is not a manifestation of the Devourer.

1659. Scratch that, he might be....

1660. We will not catapult crew members at enemy vessels.

1661. Even if the crew members like it, because it's a small cut, and pirates love being cut.

1662. Tycho and Gabe are not crew.

1663. We are not allowed to use a fire extinguisher to stop the ship.

1664. The Fire Elemental is not to respond in Alan Rickman's voice "Sweet Jesus, did you have to use the whole can?"

1665. We are fairly obviously the culprits of most of our crime spree, trashing the CSI of Sharn will not help us.

1666. Even if you really hate that show.

1667. This boat's crew was not collected from people who thought they were joining the cast of the 'Real world'

1668. It was collected from volunteers for Jackass.

1669. Turtle Shifters are not to be stomped on.

1670. Nor Mycanoids.

1671. Their leader is not a Dragon named Koopa.

1672. Sharn Halflings who ride dinosaurs and happen to be plumbers are no...oh the hell with it, call em Mario if you want.

1673. Torture is not forcing prisoners to watch episodes of the Golden Girls.

1674. We're not that cruel.

1675. Yo Ho! is not to be used to point me to prostitutes.

1676. Especially followed by "Blow the man down"

1677. Sixteen men on a dead man's chest is not instructions.

1678. Long John Silver's name was not dirty.

1679. Nor was captain hook's.

1670. Hook and Smee were not gay lovers.

1671. Oh sorry....err I wasn't aware that the two were together.

1672. hey I've got nothing against that sort of thing...it just took me by surprise is all.

1673. A Rakahasa crouching and a Dragon hiding doesn't mean that we can do wuxia moves or find the Green Destiny sword.

1674. Eberron Drow women did not "learn their place"

1675. The Scorpion King of the Drow is not played by the Rock.
Aneul

09-27-05, 05:56 PM		1666) We don't break for dragonhawks- not even the awakened kind.
1667) So stop trying to get those Aundairian bumper stickers that say otherwise.
1668) Technicaly, this Airship doesn't even have a bumper
1669) And if it did, it would be covered in to much squished dragonhawk to see what the stupid stickers you lot keep putting on it say.
1670) You are not to tell Jaela that as she is both the secular and temporal leader of Thrane, she has the power nessesary to declare herself "legal" whenever she sees fit.
1671) Even if its true.
Charles Phipps

09-27-05, 06:20 PM		1672. As air pirates; we rob from water ships, towns, the lightning rail, forts, airships, and storehouses.

1673. We do not copy music and videos then distribute them.

1674. Except if it's a realllllyyyyy awesome movie not out on DVD yet.

1675. Stop getting people to play with Aurula's name.

"She's A rula a alright. A very bad A rule a."

It's childish.

1676. Do not pinch your nose before saying this is a "A Pirate ship"

1677. If you take off Aurala's glasses, she doesn't become a hot sex maniac.

1678. Girls with glasses often are already.

1779. A pair of glasses is NOT sufficient disguise to fool the guard.

1780. Unless it's the Sharn guard in which case they're idiots.

1781. Do not refer to Queen Aurala's brother as "Jabba."

1782. Or slap a bumper sticker on his back that says "Wide load"
LugWrench

09-28-05, 01:45 AM		1783. If the airship be a' rockin......

1784. ...the warforged fell down.

1785. We will not moon King Kaius every time we fly by.

1786. Every other time will do.

1787. The warforged cant have a Predator mask.

1788. Even if it would make him look cool.

1789. We must not mistake Zilargo gnomes for end tables.

1790. Q'barra is not the home of good gumbo.
Devil Gnasher

09-28-05, 12:06 PM		1791. The captain is to be called Bandit One or the Bandit.
1792. The first-mate is to be called Bandit Two or Snowman.
1793. All law enforcment agents are to be refered to as Smokies.
1794. There are two types of Smokies, friendly ones and not-so friendly ones.
1795. Do not by any means behave like Lord Flasheart. If you understand this you've watched Blackadder before.
1796. Do not make lewd sexual jokes about Pontiff Jaela. That is what Lord Flasheart would do.
Phanuel

09-28-05, 01:05 PM		1797. "Bah weep grawnab weep ninibaum" and offering them a gp is not the universal greeting.

1798. Although it may work in Darguun.
LugWrench

09-28-05, 01:52 PM		1799. I will not put waffles into the possesed toaster.

1800. I must not give the gnome artifacer coffee.

1801. Or cappucino.

1802. Or espresso.

1803. I am not allowed to mod the warforged with neon lights, spinners, or killer subs.

1804. I am not allowed to install a 'pet door' in the door to the shifters quarters.

1805. Even if the shifter has a pet.

1806. I must not write the Daughters of Sora Kell for dating advice.

1807. There is no Animal House frat at Morgrave University.

1808. Nor am I allowed to start one.

1809. Toga parties are still okay.

1810. Aquatic dire animals dont make good sushi.

1811. Dire boars dont make good porkchops.

1812. The bacon is okay, though.

1813. Must not ask the cook for MLT...Mutton, lettuce, and tomato.

1814. He did not say "To blave".....

1815. I am not left handed.

1816. I dont have six fingers on my right hand, either.
Devil Gnasher

09-28-05, 06:25 PM		1817. Do not sing Lieutenant George's version of Row Row Row Your Boat to Pontiff Jaela. This is Lieutenant George's version of Row Row Row Your Boat. Row, row, row, your boat, gently down the stream, belts off trousers down isn't life a scream.
1818. Don't behave like the Bishop of Bath from Blackadder.
1819. Or like Prince Ludvig the Indistructible.
Salookanana

09-28-05, 11:30 PM		1820. The warforged is NOT a toy!
1821. The catgirl is NOT a toy!
1822. Jaela is NOT a toy!
1823. Dont tell the artificer about hammerguns
1824. EVER
1825. Do not put video cassets in the warforged. It only takes beta!
1826. To the mages: Fireball should not be your instinctive reaction to everything
1827. You cannot be a suicidally depressed warforged
1828. The warforged's name is not Marvin
1829. Or Gundam
1830. Or Ropanmatsu
1831. Or Evangelion
1832. Dont wish to shoot the DM or the Captain with a hammer.
Charles Phipps

09-28-05, 11:43 PM		1821. The warforged is not to be referred to as Metal Gear.

1822. Nor the warforged Titan.

1823. Nor will you add a nuclear missle launcher to it.

1824. NO, you can't have nukes anyway!

1825. Not even if you blow a wish spell.

1826. When finding a famous relic of Cyre, you will not fall on your knees and scream "DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! You filthy apes!"

1827. You will not tell the warforged that the Day of Mourning was the result of said filthy apes.

1828. You will not cast a sleep spell on a person after telling them you're casting a permanent time stop spell and put on ape costumes to say "Human, explain yourself" when they wake up.

1829. Do not cast multiple enlarge spells to try and make a monkey that will kidnap a girl and climb to the highest tower in Sharn...

1830. Just so you can fire the crossbows on the airship at it.

1831. You will not use real life actors to represent your characters. Especially not...

1832. Kurt Russell in Escape from New York.

1833. Kurt Russell in Big Trouble in Little China.

1834. Kurt Russell in The Thing

1835. Kurt Russell in Soldier

1836. The Kurt Russell lookalike in Metal Gear Solid.

1837. Not even Kurt Russell in Captain Ron because he kinda looks like Snake with the eyepatch.

1838. When your character is old, he won't look like Sean Connery either.

1839. King Boranal is not Sean Connery either...even though it's entirely possible to pay him to appear in our games apparently with some of the movies he's done.

1840. I know you didn't say it but someone had to.

1841. Harrison Ford in ANY OF HIS FILMS before he got so old he started to look like Emperor Palpatine.
Moody Loner

09-29-05, 12:45 AM		1842: Yes, warforged, we eat steak. Yes, warforged, most people are made of meat. No, this does not mean that fallen party members are "emergency rations" or "free protein".

1843: No, warforged, your immunity to fatigue and sleep doesn't mean that you get extra shares of treasure. May I suggest a hobby?

1844: Dressing up in a costume and fighting crime is not a hobby.
Charles Phipps

09-29-05, 01:53 AM		1845. House Cannith is not to be referred to as GM

1846. House Deneith is not to be hired to do my adventures for me.

1847. House Ghallandra is not to be referred to as "Hilton."

1848. Nor it's heads daughter, Paris Halfling.

1849. House Jorasco does not accept Medicaid as payment.

1850. House Kundarak will not be confused with Gringots.

1851. They will kill you if you mention goblins run that.

1852. House Lyrander is not to be referred to as National Airways.

1853. And we are NOT to be referred to as "Con Air."

1854. Even if we were a bunch of prisoners who acquired this ship by stealing it.

1855. Oh hush, it's the plot of Farscape too.

1856. House Medali did not learn their investigation techniques from Blues' Clues.

1857. Or "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago."

1858. House Phiarlan will not be suggested to that the best way to replace their lost fortune is with an Emmy program.

1859. Or Reality programming.

1860. The Captain reserves the right to only one Reality TV quote and that is to say "You're Fired" with the Trump point before you're launched out of the cannon.

1861. House Sivis is not Random House.

1862. They are not interested in your life's story.

1863. House Thrashk members will not have you sneak into their mines with a dead canary to shout "OH LORDIE! THE CANARIES DEAD!" to start a panic.

1864. Unless we're robbing it.

1865. House Thuranni are not ninjas.

1866. Except when they put on nightsuits, carry katanas, and somehow fly.

1867. House Valadis is not to be asked whether you can adopt a Pound Puppy or not whenever you see them.

1868. The Wayfarer is forbidden from carrying a bullwhip or a fedora.

1869. Even if EVERYONE is expected to when they play one.

1870. The Wayfarers are not to be treated as old stuffy Brelish men who talk like they're on the history channel.

1871. Even if 99.9% of them are.

1872. As an old standbye...do not toss the dwarf.

1873. Or the gnomes.

1874. The Halfling will bite your leg off.

1875. No replacing dwarven beard shampoo with nair.

1876. Elves will not be told to pierce their ears more.

1877. Shifters cannot use their tails like periscopes.

1878. Dog Shifters can talk perfectly normal and not like Scooby Doo.

1879. Any gnome that acts like a tinker gnome will be killed summarily...

1880. No jury in the world would convict me.

1881. Kender and your next three characters will die.

1882. Teleport without error will not be used as a weapon.
Lup1n3

09-29-05, 02:04 AM		1883. (re: #1865 & #1866) Especially not when they totally flip out, play guitar, and fight pirates.

1884. None of you... I repeat, none of you have Real Ultimate Power(tm).
Lina_Inverse

09-29-05, 02:19 AM		1883. (re: #1865 & #1866) Especially not when they totally flip out, play guitar, and fight pirates.

1884. None of you... I repeat, none of you have Real Ultimate Power(tm).

1885. I do
Charles Phipps

09-29-05, 02:51 AM		1885. I do

That's it.

No more ninja stars for either of you.
Nurgan_the_drunked

09-29-05, 03:38 AM		1886: Our "theme tune" is not "da-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na Forgottenfreedom!"
1887: Because it doesn't scan, that's why
1888: The Lord of Blades is not so called for being really good on rollerblades
1889: The call for a descent is not "Squadron 14: DIVE!!!"
1890: Do not ask us to check the angular velocity of the moon without saying which one.
1891: "proving your worth something" doesn't always involve killing a lot of people
1892: Dodging bullettes really isn't that impressive
1893: Being drunk does not make you safe from falling
Valgaav

09-29-05, 03:52 AM		don't normally post on the Eberron boards, but I have this to say: Yes, my DM did let me play a Kender once. there are, officially, Kender in Eberron; we replaced the halflings. down to the dinos. Swindelspitters were everywhere.
Andfangion

09-29-05, 04:25 AM		By all means, you're welcome to using these whacky morons.

1563. Our origin was not chronicled in "The History of the World Part I" as a counting house that rebelled and killed it's managers to sack walstreet.



Lol, this one's funny. One thing though: It was in Monty Python's "Meaning of Life" :rolleyes:

1894: You shall not taunt your party's Warmage by letting the Gnome Sorcerer use his Ghost Sound to make him believe there is a colossal Gorilla behind him.
Charles Phipps

09-29-05, 04:48 AM		Lol, this one's funny. One thing though: It was in Monty Python's "Meaning of Life" :rolleyes:

1894: You shall not taunt your party's Warmage by letting the Gnome Sorcerer use his Ghost Sound to make him believe there is a colossal Gorilla behind him.

1895. The Captain's Pop Culturefu shall not be corrected.
Lina_Inverse

09-29-05, 10:51 AM		1896. You shall NOT attempt to strike up a relationship between the captain and the pontiff.

1897. You shall NOT convince the pontiff to dance in the previous pontiffs robes and pope hat.

1988. Even though it looks incredibly funny.

1989. And She would.
Parion

09-29-05, 10:53 AM		1890. The warforged's battlefists are not "Hulk Hands", and shall not be refered to as such.
1891. Even if we do have a catapult, we do NOT refer to the warforged as "armour-piercing ammunition".
1892. Even if he has an adamantine body.
1893. Neither the captain's Eternal wand of Knock, nor his Eternal wand of Presidigitation shall be refered to as a "Sonic Screwdriver"
1894. Kalashtar named Lyta Alexander will be shot on sight. With the balista.
1895. Keelhauling the warforged is forbidden. Any who attempt it must pay for repairs to both warforged, and keel.
Chrys

09-29-05, 11:04 AM		1896: When someone yell 'Don't read from the book!' ... don't read from the the gods damn book.

1897: Even if the book is call "How to age the Speaker of the Silver Flame: the Jaela edition"

1898: Because it is a trap, thats why.

1899: The captain is not now, nor has he ever been a marmaset!
Twinblades

09-29-05, 11:04 AM		1906. Crew will not hang banners depicting their artistic impressions of how Tira Mirron "merged" with a Couatl over the side of the ship as it approaches Flamekeep.

1907. No matter how graphic it is.

1908. All artistic members of crew will be expected to chip in to repair the multiple-flamestrike damage to the ship's hull following the recent eventful flight through Thrane...
Argonel

09-29-05, 11:13 AM		1902. A delayed blast fireball is not the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
1903. Niether is a necklace of fireballs
1904. There shall be no counting to 3, 5, or 13 when using the above items/spells.
1905. I count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0, 11, 12, 13. You should too. If necessary take off your boots when counting.
1906 Never take off your pants when counting, even if you only need one more.

Think we will get this to the 2,002 things not allowed?
LugWrench

09-29-05, 11:22 AM		1907. Plan B is not "Twice as many Fireballs as Plan A"

1910. Warforged were not "Forged in the heat of battle".

1911. Due to last years....misunderstanding...Jaela will not be trick-or-treating at our house this year.

1912. Dont ask what the misunderstanding was.

1913. In Eberron, dragons are not color-coded for your convenience.

1914. We do not have a mini-warforged named R2D2.
Phanuel

09-29-05, 11:39 AM		My God, I love this thread. I read it at work and can't stop laughing when I do. It's gotten me some funny looks from my colleagues.
1915. When meeting a noble djinn, wishing for phenominal cosmic power is not recommended.
Lina_Inverse

09-29-05, 01:21 PM		1916. You will not use a wish to get jaela as your girlfriend.

1917. You will not use a wish to get jaela to join the crew.

1918. I said earlier you cant attempt to get the captain in a relationship with the pontiff, doublely so with a wish.
LugWrench

09-29-05, 01:54 PM		1919. Asking the female changeling to dress up as Jaela is just WRONG.

1920. Unless its for Halloween.

1921. You are not allowed to carve the number 3.1415 into a pumpkin for Halloween or Thanksgiving and call it Pumpkin Pi.

1922. You cant tell the warforged to do so, either.

1923. There is no beer in Dolurrh, so we have to drink it here.

1924. The warforged is not allowed to show off by crushing beer kegs against his forehead.
Thwyvylyn

09-29-05, 02:23 PM		double post :gah:
Thwyvylyn

09-29-05, 02:25 PM		1925. You will not have the wizard cast Geas on Jaela with objective being to bring her anywhere near us.

1926. or You.

1927. Nor shall you commune with the fiends of Khyber to overthrow the Silver Flame just so you can get them to give you Jaela as spoils.

1928. Getting the Dreaming Dark to brainwash Jaela while she sleeps is also forbidden.

1929. And just plain wrong.

1930. Using an Eldritch Machine to do any of the above will result is a solo visit to the Ring of Siberys.

1931. Said visit shall not be the result of using the machine...

1932. Although if it is a result the scoundrel deserves it.

1933. Rakshasa do not have a springyest tail that gives them a plus to jump checks

1934. And even if they did, they would still be unable to catch us.
Charles Phipps

09-29-05, 02:42 PM		1935. House Thuranni girls do not look like the cast of "Dead or Alive"

1936. House Thuranni are not all monk/rogue/assassins.

1937. They are not Ninjas!

1938. You cannot play a shifter trained by House Thuranni with adamentine claws....because Wolverine is not a ninja.

1939. No, you cannot date a King's Citadel Agent named Irene after slaying a demon as a House Thuranni Ninja as your backstory.

1940. No we cannot be pirate ninjas!

1941. That would be too badass for the space time continium.

1942. Pirates do not 'flip out and kill people for no reason.'

1943. We do it for money.

1944. You cannot be a millionaire playboy whose parents were gunned down before studying with House Thuranni...because Batman is not...okay Batman IS a ninja...at least in Batman Begins.

1945. Is an important day in WW2.

1946. I cannot play a Elemental Sorcerer House thuranni specializing in Ice.

1947. I cannot play a Elemental Sorcerer House Thuranni that's dead and specializing in fire.

1948. I cannot play a House Thuranni WARFORGED named Cyrax

1949. Because robots and ninjas don't mix.

1950. After beating someone with monk abilities til they're dazed, I will not shout "FINISH HIM"

1951. after a spectacular kill, I will not say "Flawless Victory."

1952. Or..."Fatality."

1953. I will not say "Friendship" to anyone.

1954. Unless it's the Pontiff, because we need the street cred.

1955. It's wrong to tell Jaela she was created by monks and she's actually the Key.

1956. So we can "hide" her from evil.
LugWrench

09-29-05, 03:13 PM		1957. There is no plane of Eberron named Outworld.

1957. We are not a water bomber.

1958. We are, however, a beer bomber.

1959. We are not police, and we arent a charitable institution.

1960. We dont protect or serve.

1961. Except ourselves.

1962. And maybe Jaela.

1963. The warforged is not to show off by crushing gnomes against his forehead, either.

1964. We will not sell shirts that say "Kiss her where it smells, take her to the Cogs".

1965. The Mournland is not a nuclear crater.

1966. Okay, maybe it is.

1967. We must refrain from pointing at the bad guy and telling the wizard 'Fire for effect'.

1968. 'cause the wizard cant shoot worth a damn.

1969. I am not Batman.

1970. I still am not Batman.

1971. All Gnomes do not have a pot 'o gold.

1972. I must not tell the warforged this.

1973. Or the greedy rogue.

1974. I must stop hiding in the paladin chick's room to watch her undress for the night.

1975. Or at the very least, stop shouting "Take it off!"
Aneul

09-29-05, 03:50 PM		1976) one the note of 1974: Repeat after the captain-"Bribing powerful wizards to cast improved invisibility on the Paladin chick's full plate is not sanctioned".

1977) The above also aplies to any and all articles of the Pontiffical wardrobe.

1978) Exept the Pope hat.

1979) Whoever took those posts about "not stoping for Dragonhawks" and crossed out the "hawk" bit while the captain was off trying to bargin with the Serens for acess to Argonessen is going to get keelhauled- even if hes a warforged.

1980) To spite any prior decrease pretaining to Keelhauling.
Charles Phipps

09-29-05, 04:17 PM		1981. The Warforged will not be used as a figurine for the mast.

1982. Even if she does have a female personality, you will not have blacksmith give the warforged "boobies"
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon

09-29-05, 05:37 PM		1983. You must not use doilys to reach ULTIMATE COSMIC POWER!!!
Grizelda

09-29-05, 07:20 PM		One of my crew reminds me that our misadventures have lasted a year and she's twelve now!

;-)

hey that's legal in alabama.. or germany, or amsterdam, or japan for that matter. :)
6FootGnome

09-29-05, 07:55 PM		1983. Do not ask Kaus if he "Vants to suck your blud"
1983 Or offer him a garlic hogey
LugWrench

09-29-05, 08:09 PM		1984. Must not taunt King Kaius by doing a bad Bella Lugosi impression.

1985. While King Kaius is within earshot.

1986. Must not hand King Kaius a cup, asking "you wanted tomato juice, right?"

1987. Must not ask King Kaius, 'So, talked to Vol, recently?'

1988. "eep oop ork ah ah" does not mean 'I love you.'

1989. I am not allowed to make crop circles.

1990. Especially ones of Tia Miron and 'the big, bad snake'.

1991. And Im REALLY not allowed to make them just outside of Flamekeep in Thrane.

1992. Kang and kodos do not work on our ship.
Ohtar Turinson

09-29-05, 09:11 PM		1993. You will not refer to Rhukaan Draal as a "wretched hive of scum and villainy."
1994. Even though it is.
Thwyvylyn

09-29-05, 09:16 PM		1995. The Mourning did not give anyone an "Atomic Wedgie".

1996. Nor did it give anyone a normal "wedgie" either.

1997. You shall not call the sunrise before a day of combat, the "Dawn of War".

1998. War has been around far longer than that.

1999. Neither shall you call any form of combat in Frostfell a "Winter Assault".

2000. You shall not challenge Aurala's authority by demanding a recount.

2001. The Thronehold Accords was not written by Arthur C. Clarke

2002. Nor was it written by J. R. R. Tolkien

2003.The Mourning did not occur because someone hired or employed Homer Simpson.

2004. Mr. Burns is not Vol's long lost relative.
Zemyla

09-29-05, 09:50 PM		2005. A warforged on a plate cannot use its magnet to escape.

2006. The artificer cannot reverse the polarity of anything.

2007. The kalashtar telepath is not a "l33t mind h4xx0r".

2008. Dragonshards are not made of chopped-up pieces of dragons.

2009. You will not convince any artificer to take a Vow of Poverty.

2010. The wand of fireballs is not your "boomstick".
Decree Of Boredom

09-29-05, 10:27 PM		2008. Correllary to 2005: Not even if it is the LOBster.

2009. Half-bricks in socks will never, ever, defeat a wizard's staff.

2010. No, you may not have an orangutang as a familiar. No monkeys on this ship.

2011. Correction: No apes on this ship.

2012. I don't care how many points you have in your Craft Reserve. You may not make a car out of scrap metal!

2013. For the matter, you may not make a car out of anything.

2014. I don't care if you are 'the warrior from the sky', you may not have an Oldsmobile as part of your starting equipment.

2015. Same goes for the chainsaw and boomstick.
Zemyla

09-29-05, 10:55 PM		2016. There is not and never will be a prestige class that requires you to score with Jaela. So stop it.
Salookanana

09-29-05, 11:01 PM		2017. Any use of the words "Jaela" "Mage hand" "Evards Black Tentacles" and "Prestigation" In the same sentance will result in keelhauling
2018. Twice
2019. You may not ask about the ships miles per gallon
2020. You may not ask about the warforged's miles per gallon
2021. For the love of god, FIREBALL IS NOT A TOY!!!
2022. Nor does the captain like being hit by them!
2023. Stop telling the warforged this!
Salla

09-29-05, 11:57 PM		2024. The Warforged is not to use a Hat of Disguise to appear as a Dwarf, then challenge other Dwarves to a drinking contest.
2025. Or a contest to see who can hold his breath for the longest.
2026. If 2019 is broken, we will not call the oxygen-deprived Dwarf 'Papa Smurf' because his face turned blue.

(Editted for correct numbering.)
Anzila

09-30-05, 12:09 AM		2027. You need far more than bubble gum and a paper clip to foil Vol's plans.
2028. Do not try and get the Artificer to waste time converting a Warforged Titan to a battle mech.
2029. In the unlikely event that he succeeds you are not to hand that mech over to a angsty Japanese teenager.
2030. In fact, should you find yourself with such a weapon, all teenagers in a ten mile radius should be put to death.
2031. You will stop handing out copies of the Evil Overlord list; the bad guys have enough of an edge as is.
2032. YOU ARE NOT JAELA!
2033. For god sakes stop trying to lure Batman into the airship with promises of candy.
2034. Wait....
2035. Dwarfs in full plate are not the latest in missile technology.
2036. Anyone caught mooning royalty will be left behind to explain themselves.
2037. YES even if it’s Aurala
Nurgan_the_drunked

09-30-05, 04:30 AM		2045: We will not go into the Mournland specifically to steal a lot of beer from an abandoned brewery
2046: You will not sell Cyran Evergold Beer looted from Mournlands
2047: You will not drink said Mournland- tainted beer, unless you bought the pretzels
2048: drinking it will not give you super powers
2049: you will not eat mournland tainted pretzels
2050: Gnomes are not to be used as snacks
2051: or ammunition
2052: "We're going to need subtlety" does not mean "Learn some Silent fireballs"
2053: Or "cut people to ribbons while wearing a hooded cloak"
2054: "Diplomacy" does not involve apologising while blowing people to smithereens
2055: Your wings are not like a shield of steel
2056: So bullettes can hurt you
2057: The sovereign host do not appear in person to give messages to their followers, you're fooling noone trying.
2058: Even if they did, they would send more profound messages than
"3 Pepperonis, 2 meatfeasts and some cheesy garlic bread"
Rake

09-30-05, 05:35 AM		2035. Dwarfs in full plate are not the latest in missile technology.

My players did this. :bored:
RadicalTaoist

09-30-05, 02:33 PM		2059: The shifter with glasses is not Dogbert
2060: That's okay, you shouldn't have been listening to his business plans either way.
2061: I don't care how cool the sword looks, you do not HAVE THE POWER.
2062: Nor the right to dress in only a fur loincloth.
2063: Nor call us the Masters of the Universe.
2064: Do not play mind games with any Inspired we encounter.
2065: They will win.
2066: Yes, the captain is positive they will. Don't try your luck.
Missekat

09-30-05, 03:10 PM		Gods, I love this thread! :-D They should publish this in Dragon.
RadicalTaoist

09-30-05, 04:08 PM		2067: Just because the cleric holds the faith of the Silver Flame as her personal ideal does not mean you need to make her some WWJD (What Would Jaela Do?) bracelets.
2068: You most certainly do NOT need to make her any WILJTD (What I'd Like Jaela To Do) bracelets, EVER.
2069: Nor should you even think of trying to program such protocols into the warforged.
2070: What the - By the Host, do you LIKE being keel-hauled?
2071: You do?.....OK, that explains a lot...
LugWrench

09-30-05, 04:28 PM		2072. The airship is not perfect for a 'chicken cannon'.
2073. Neither is the warforged.
2074. Even though it would look really cool.
2075. The wizard is not to use index cards for his spells.
2076. Im not chasing them down when he drops them on a windy day.
2077. Again.
2078. The airship is not 'unleaded fuel only'.
2079. The artifacer is not named Red Green.
2080. Nor does he have a 'handyman's corner'.
2081. Using lots of duct tape is still required.
Lup1n3

09-30-05, 05:55 PM		The list ("http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/captainjarlot/) is now caught up through #2081.

Sometime in the next 24 hours I will be breaking it down into segments, most likely 500 each to make it more low-bandwidth friendly.
Devil Gnasher

09-30-05, 05:58 PM		2072. The airship is not perfect for a 'chicken cannon'.

2079. The artifacer is not named Red Green.
2080. Nor does he have a 'handyman's corner'.

Aw, why not?
Crystalforged

09-30-05, 05:58 PM		Never seen it happen but it popped into my mind while reading the thread and it just had to be said...

2082. You may not summon a celestial whale and have it appear 200 ft above the Dealker's head.

2083. And if you did any damage it did would not be considered good alinged
Lup1n3

09-30-05, 06:35 PM		The list ("http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/captainjarlot/) is now caught up through #2081.

Sometime in the next 24 hours I will be breaking it down into segments, most likely 500 each to make it more low-bandwidth friendly.


24 hours vs. 40 minutes, close enough.
Rollinrice

09-30-05, 08:41 PM		The warforged are not the borg.
They do not say resistance is futile.
Black mages will have their knives taken away immediately.
Warforged are not Go-bots.
Nor will they go arround saying "Go Go Gadget"
Warforged don't come with Energizers.
Charles Phipps

09-30-05, 08:42 PM		519. Warforged don't come with Energizers.

520. Dragonshards are not batteries.
521. Putting a warforged in a pink rabbit suit and giving him a drum before saying to "go as far as you can before you stop from power loss" shall only be done once.
The Fireballed Mage

09-30-05, 09:40 PM		2084. Even though she loses powers if she leaves the Cathedral, you will not refer to Jaela as, "The Sorceress of Greyskull."

2085. Nor the "The Sorceress of Flamekeep," or "The Cleric of Greyskull." "The Cleric of Flamekeep" is okay because honestly, that's what she is.
Charles Phipps

09-30-05, 10:13 PM		(re-tallying)

2094. Stop making Jaela's hat fall off with cantrips.

2095. Jaela's hat being smaller than the previous pontiffs is wrong.

2096. There is no such thing as "Saint Mirron's School for Girl Pontiffs"

2097. And it does not have uniforms!

2098. Jaela is not Chiyo-Chan.

2099. We will not rename the ship the "Lolicon Con"

2100. Or add the word "Carney" after that.

2101. We are not the Bat-Airship!
Zemyla

09-30-05, 11:49 PM		2102. Merrix d'Cannith does not write the "A City with No People" series.

2103. King Kaius was not locked in a coffin and thrown into the ocean for 50 years.

2104. The artificer cannot retain the essence of a warforged.

2105. The artificer cannot retain the essence of an artifact.

2106. The artificer is forbidden from going back through the dungeon we cleared and retaining the essence of all the magic traps.

2107. There are no such things as living skills, living feats, or living action points.

2108. You cannot tie anyone to a conductor stone track.
LugWrench

10-01-05, 12:51 AM		2109. While it is a good song, the bard is forbidden to sing "November Rain" while in Sharn.

2110. The bard is also forbidden from singing "Welcome to the Jungle" while we are in Xen'drik.

2111. No, there are no 2001-style monoliths in Xen'drik.

2112. The crew is forbidden, under penalty of death, to use the airship to make paintball 'drive bys'. Its just not right.

2113. The crew is not allowed to send the warforged to "Pimp my 'Forged".
JakeQuistis

10-01-05, 05:40 PM		2114. You are not allowed to create a daily pamphlet on what Jaela did that day.
2115. Unless the Captain gets the first copy and half of the profits.
Rollinrice

10-01-05, 09:56 PM		2116 You can play chess with the Warforged as pieces.
2117 Warforged Boxing will continue on Moonday nights.
2118 Do not offer a special scratching post to the catgirl.
2119 No asking for a special prayer from Jaela.
2120 I said no special prayers....
2121 Scrapmetal is not a name for warforged.
2122 Do not ask Jaela to heal the sick..
2123 Or to raise the dead.
2124 Need i remind you of keelhauling?
Aerys Targaryen

10-02-05, 09:22 PM		2125: You WILL buy a squirrel.
Gilganarz_the_reporter

10-03-05, 01:35 AM		Had to be a part of this, sorry if I've coupled up:
2126: Warforged are not required to remove bodyparts during strip poker.

2127: You may not invite Jaela to take part in strip poker.

2128: You cannot ask King Kaius 'how goes the jyhad?'

2129: Even if he is taking part.

2130: The Aurum are not to be referred to as the Hellfire club

2131: House Orien members, when teleporting don't go 'bamf'

2132: You may not substitute your own 'bamf' noises.

2133: In the future, there will not be robots.

2134: It is wrong to tell the warforged this.

2135: You may not sell motivational magic mouth spells whose initials spell out drug names.

2136: You may not have the callsign 'Scarecrow'

2137: Even if your name is Shane Shcofield.

2138: You may not hold money up in fornt of King Kaius to see if he is a Ravnost.

2139: Or a painting to see if he is a toreador.

2140: It is quite obvious that he is a Ventrue.

2141: The silver flame paladins who took part in the inquisition were not 'agents of the wyrm'

2142: It is wrong to tell silver flame paladins this.
Charles Phipps

10-03-05, 01:49 AM		Loved the World of Darkness reverences.

2143. Dog shifters are not named Inuyasha

2144. You cannot have an older true werewolf brother named Sheshomuru

2145. Monk/Clerics who have extremely lecherous sides are okay if they are NOT named Miroku.

2146. You cannot be a schoolgirl from Earth.

2147. Or wield a bigass boomerang

2148. Your paladin's mount is not a giant flying fox.

2149. Strangely no one wants to play Shippo.

2150. Ketler the engineer is hereby forbidden from saying there's a Elemental core breach and one of us has to make a heroic sacrafice against the heat to save us all...

2151. Especially if a warforged can just be sent in....

2152. Or if he caused it deliberately to get rid of the Elf....

2153. Or the Paladin.

2154. Ketler D'cannith is not Scotty nor should he talk like it.

2155. Ketler is not blind nor will he wear a magic visor...

2156. Especially if it's to give him X-ray vision.

2157. Ketler is forbidden from attempting to build a hyperdrive for the ship...

2158. Especially from testing it while we're still on it.

2159. Ketler will not build "Evil Death Rays" that can blow up cities.

2160. These Death Rays will not be fired at Fairhaven.

2161. Ketler is forbidden from maniacal laughter.

2162. Ketler is forbidden from trying to clone the Tarrasque.

2163. Especially so he can hollow it out and build a entry plug...

2164. So Jaela can pilot it.

2165. JUST TO GET HER IN A PLUG SUIT.

2166. Ketler is forbidden from building golems solely to do all the dangerous stuff.

2167. Ketler cannot create nitroglycerine in stick form.

2168. Or attempt to use the proceeds from this to make awards for world peace.

2169. Ketler cannot make molecular bonded armor for the ship.

2170. If warforged are not robots, ketler cannot make them instead.

2171. Ketler is wrong to get special fertilizer to make a gigantic Venus Fly trap...

2172. Solely to help make his production of "Little shop of horrors" more authentic.

2173. Ketler is not a supervillain nor can he use the forbidden laser to hold the Four Nations for ransom.

2174. He will not demand "ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"

2175. It is wrong to attach lasers to sharks...

2176. Especially flaming flying sharks.

2177. Ketler will not save up his plunder to get an evil lair.

2178. Ketler is not a "supervillain in the making."

2179. Ketler may be mad and a scientist...but he will not be allowed to refer to himself as a mad scientist.

2180. I don't care if the plans are on the internet, Ketler cannot build an A-bomb.

2181. Ketler cannot taunt Merrix that he's done more evil than the "rank amateur"

2182. Ketler is not allowed to say "D'Cannith is pronounced Day Cannath"
Valgaav

10-04-05, 02:56 AM		2162. Ketler is forbidden from trying to clone the Tarrasque.

2163. Especially so he can hollow it out and build a entry plug...

2164. So Jaela can pilot it.

2165. JUST TO GET HER IN A PLUG SUIT.


Loving it! With the personaities that we've given them, I could see this happening, actually.

I wish I was inventive enough to come up with some of my own...:(
LugWrench

10-04-05, 11:56 AM		2166. The artifacer is forbidden to make a Furby homunculous.
2167. Even if he does, he had better not offer it to Jaela.
2168. Especially after he teaches it to say "The Silver Flame sucks".
2169. Or "How about a date in 6 years?"
2170. Those are keel-hauling offenses, Chester.
Jancarius

10-04-05, 04:10 PM		Dude, this list rocks.
LugWrench

10-04-05, 05:26 PM		Supposedly, this is stuff that just occurs to somone NOT to do, or someone, somewhere, in some game has tried it. I try not to think about what has been tried and what hasnt. It gives me the willies. :blink:
LugWrench

10-04-05, 11:25 PM		2171. Weebles wobble.
2172. But they dont fall down.
2173. I may not attempt to change this.
2174. Especially not with a Meteor Swarm spell.
2175. And especially not when Im on the airship.
Shadowlore

10-05-05, 04:17 AM		2176. "Bite my shiny metal ass" is not an appropriate response from a warforged when asked for ident papers.
2177. Nor is is appropriate for the artficer to say "bite HIS shiny metal ass" in the same scenario referring to the warforged.
2178. Unless said warforged name is Shine.
2179. Then it is mandatory

2180. "Fire the warning monk!" is not an appropriate command for the warforged at the start of a battle.
2181. Especially if the warforged IS the monk.
Charles Phipps

10-05-05, 05:59 AM		2183. Andrea, it is not appropriate to sacrifice crew members to the Dark Six.

2184. Andrea, it is not polite to summon demons to destroy the world.

2185. We are to STOP the summoning of the Rajahs...

2186. AND NOT just so we can summon them ourselves.

2187. Nihilism is not an acceptable answer for "What is your religion?"

2188. It is wrong to attempt to dissolve souls to create a Philosopher's Stone.

2189. Even if it worked on Full Metal Alchemist.

2190. It is wrong to re-animate dead crew members to do your chores.

2191. Especially if you killed them for this purpose.

2192. You will not look at "The Evil Overlord's List" for advice.

2193. Queen Aurala is not your greatest rival for world domination.

2194. The Demon Wastes are not a vacation spot.

2195. Jaela is not to be corrupted to the Cult of the Dragon Below.

2196. Especially in exchange for candy.

2197. It is wrong to tell Jaela that the Dragon below offers Barbie dream house.

2198. Even if it's true.

2199. All the cool kids are NOT joining the Dragon below.

2200. Evil is not more powerful than good because good is dumb.
Chrys

10-05-05, 08:52 AM		2200. Evil is not more powerful than good because good is dumb.

2201: Choas, however will beat Law because it's better organized
Rollinrice

10-05-05, 11:38 AM		2202 A warforged composite plating does not fall of with a Knock spell.
2203 It is wrong to tell them this.
2204 They don't have kick stands.
2205 Or handlebars.
2206 Do not name a warforged titan Tiny .
2207 Keelhauling is still an option.
2208 Warforged do not "pass gas".
2209 It is wrong to tell them this.
2210 You can not enchant a warforged with the Stinking Cloud spell and have them blast a big one.
RadicalTaoist

10-05-05, 11:57 AM		2192. You will not look at "The Evil Overlord's List" for advice.
2211. Neither will I. I'm Captain, not Evil Overlord.

2212. Suggesting that I'd be better at that job is an appreciated compliment. It is also a keel-hauling offense.
Thwyvylyn

10-05-05, 10:57 PM		I used to play a 6'6" 400 lb Warforged Fighter/Juggernaught named "Tiny" by the other players in my group. He is dead now...ripped to pieces by 7 dire wolves...
Cutlass

10-05-05, 11:17 PM		2213: Characters will not be permitted to have Welsh names. They're just too hard to spell and pronounce. :D

2214: Warforged Scout (MMIII p. 193) characters will not be named Gigantor.

2215: For especially egregious repeat offenses, walking the plank will be substituted for keelhauling.

2216: The Captain's scrying shard will NOT be used to determine if the Paladin Chick is a real redhead.

2217: The chamber pots will not be emptied over the Royal Court of Fairhold.
Rollinrice

10-05-05, 11:28 PM		2218 Chanber pots will not be given to the warforged and told that they are starter foods.
2219 This list is not optional.
2220 Invisible peeping toms will be visibly beaten.
2221 Warforged are not walking ashtrays.
2222 The captain has the final say.
2223 Unless you pay me enough to stay out of it.
2224 They are no halfling warforged.
2225 Stop telling the warforged this.
2226 For the last time Jaela is not interested in you.
2227 Just me :D
Charles Phipps

10-06-05, 01:57 AM		The problem with Evil Overlord lists is the fact that they often take the fun out of evil.

The 101 Captain Jarlot's Evil Overlord Pirate List Suggestions

1. I *WILL* seduce attractive female prisoners because...frankly...even if know betrayal is coming, it's often worth it.

2. I *WILL* gloat over fallen foes but I will make sure that it's when their bonds are securely tightened and they don't have any friends or friendly locals are there to rescue them.

3. When a puny band of rebels assembles to confront me, I will not loot and torture across the countryside to find them. I will offer large rewards to turn on them and rely on human greed to get betrayal.

4. If I make any deals with demons or devils, it will be on one page contracts that I write and sign first.

5. I will not train myself unceasingly in the arts of combat but instead hire someone else to do it so they can be my champion like Darth Vader.

6. I will also make sure that any freakish decor to my palace that he might betray me will have complete control over so I won't be tossed down it.

7. I will have a core cult of weird but fanatical followers who will exist in numerous places to ressurect me after death.

8. I will get a evil female follower to be my main henchwench but I will make it a point she is not smarter than me.

9. Use undead, they cost less and eat more.

10. I will not blow up the world with nuclear weapons, moons, or the Apocalypse. I will however bluff like hell that I'm willing to do so.

11. I will be a classy villain who does not rape, kill children, or the like. People will wrongly assume I give a damn about them.

12. I will adopt a philosophy/religion of "Do what I would anyway" so I can seem like I'm ambigious in my morality.

13. I will adopt a smug attitude that I was expecting everything that happens and pretend that whatever happened is something I had planned all along.

14. I will build huge ass battle weapons because they are cool, even if impractical.

15. These weapons will not be the main part of my force though and when they blow up the Death Star, I will promptly have my regular fleet move in.

16. I will wear black, because black goes with everything.

17. My evil laughter will be amused and gentlemanly, not insane ranting.

18. I will park my evil forces nearby much more evil forces so I can force the heroes to team up against them.

19. I will happily nuke and destroy large scale stuff even though it wipes out women and children, the cool factor will overwhelm the repugnance.

20. I will fight superheroes if I can...they won't kill me.

21. When I discover my one weakness, I will have it divided into improbably large amounts of pieces. That way, even if they do assemble it, it'll be 10-12 years before they succeed.

22. No one is allowed to make ANY prophecies whatsoever in my Kingdom. Good or Bad. They always lead to Chosen Ones or rash actions.

23. I will keep at least one mad artificer on board my ship because scientific stuff is cool.

24. I will keep at least one evil wizard (preferrably wizardess because clothing is inversly proportional to power level and attractiveness in witches) because magic is always good.

25. I will have a harem of beautiful female ninjas...why....I THINK THAT WOULD BE OBVIOUS.

26. Another benefit of undead, they don't get jealous.

27. I will make genocide of monsters a top priority in the evil kingdom. They're never worth the cost ratio to employ.

28. I will have my publicists pick my evil name but maintain final approval. I don't want to end up like "The Flaming Prince" did.

29. In lieu of undead, clone armies and robots are also helpful.

30. Instead of outright destroying the famed mystical society of good. I will propaganda against them, remove their funding, and outlaw them. What? It worked for the Jedi...

31. See 30 And bringing up that PAIR of survivors doesn't change it still largely succeeded.

32. Even if I am personally ugly, my first act upon evil overlord ascension will be to become very handsome since good looking villains last longer.

33. I will attempt to convert the Princess I need to marry to rule the kingdom over to the ways of evil as WELL as hold her captive.

34. When holding the Princess captive, I will take a word of advice from Bowser the Koopa King and create dozens of towers where she's rumored to be held to seriously tick off any would be rescuers.

35. Do not work for any specific God, they are horrible on their underlings and give very little benefit.

36. Attack the Aundair directly, they surrender after five minutes.

37. Use Ventriloquism on the Silver Flame to make the Thrane support my rule.

38. Challenge Boranal to a rigged contest to win his kingdom, he's stupidly honorable that way.

39. To conquer Karrnath..err....well...err...damnit...v ampire, undead, militant horde....RATS. Err....hit with the moon! Or maybe something smaller.

40. To conquer the Mournland, RUST MONSTERS and GHOST BUSTERS

41. To conquer the Valenar, circulate Mad Horse disease in the feed I sell the Valenar and blame the Karrnath. Then raise a revolution.

42. To conquer Droam...err....Oh great, marry a Sister of Sora Kell and ask for some serious 'Change Self.'

43. To conquer Darguun....oh hell, toss a piece of meat in the middle of it and they'll kill themselves on.

44. To conquer Q'barra, open a "Lizard Skin Boot" industry and then after that problem's taken care of, use the profits to buy the people's allegiance.

45. To conquer Aerenal, damn...more undead...moon time...or maybe start a crusade against the undead controlled land by Thrane.

46. To conquer the Demon Wastes....get some serious industrial sized binding spells.

47. To conquer Riedra, get House Cannith and the Kalashatyr to make a few hundred thousand 'Dream Catchers' and deal with the Quori for all time.

48. To conquer Argonessan.....okay this time the Moon is REALLY justified.

49. To conquer Xen'drick....two words, wonderful Khovairian DISEASES!

50. To conquer New Cyre, breath on it.

51. To conquer Sharn, modify a Quori monolith to push the Dimension of Air further from it...or just CLAIM I can.

52. To conquer the Eldeen Reaches, offer premium price on LUMBER! The druid religion will fade within a generation.

53. To make SURE Aundair falls, marry Aurala....

54. ....And off her after the honeymoon....

55. ...And don't let anyone named the Dread Pirate Wesley interfere.

56. If I've killed anyone's father and they come seeking vengeance, blame my evil twin Grigor....

57. ...Make sure that Grigor's status as a paladin of Dol Arrah doesn't become public knowledge.

58. Do not make monologues save over conveinant "Message" spells, they WILL cheap shot you.

59. Feel free to negotiate in good faith with heroes but don't poison their meals but instead add 'Charm' Potions.

60. I will not push the self destruct button on my lair causally but recognize I take back a perfectly good fortress usually. I will also keep a remote trigger so they can't take it over.

61. I will take a lesson from Ozymandarius and tell my plans to the heroes...TEN MINUTES AFTER THEY'VE OCCURRED.

62. I will be a horror movie villain if I can, they have a chance of actually winning.

63. Mysterious old men dispensing advice will be consigned to nursing homes.

64. Evil horrific executions will be stayed to watch.

65. I *WILL* offer them the chance to join me because they might accept...however they will be mind tested first.

66. I will hire a choir to make omnious music follow my every movement.

67. I will have magic attached to my name so people hear crashing thunder or organ music play when it ocurrs.

68. I will join the Illuminati or other secret society because they never lose.

69. I will pretend I regret my actions so I'll recieve clemency then turn on them like Sauron.

70. I will try and get an evil advisor's position, they NEVER see it coming.

71. I will use corpses for the decor only OUTSIDE as to not stink up the castle.

72. Ruins will be regulated to my minion's hideout since they are usually drafty and cold.

73. I will employ minions nearly as colorful as myself to delay the enemy by fighting them all.

74. Cloning will be researched to benefit me as well as my armies.

75. If, against all odds, they DO prophecize my death. Kiss my ass goodbye...but find a loophole. Don't try and fight these things.

76. I will employ mercenaries but they will be interspersed with my loyal undead.

77. I will always fall back on piracy if Evil Overlordship fails because people love pirates.

78. If I am cursed in some way that makes me immortal, largely make the best of it.

79. Employ halflings on dinosaurs....because it always takes them off guard.

80. I will identify half a dozen people as my archnemesis so they end up fighting each other.

81. I will keep a dragon but only one and one that is honestly in it for the money versus my holding his eggs hostage.

82. I will use prisoners and other undesirables as my slave labor since people tend to resent taking the innocent.

83. The female ninja harem will never be given missions to seduce an enemy operative, those never turn out well.

84. If I get a spell to make me invulnerable to everything but something very common (water, mistletoe, etc) I will not have it all outlawed and thus draw undo attention to my weakness.

85. When I kill someone horribly, always try and make it witty...people love witty villains. "Apology accepted Captain Needa" for example.

86. If I employ robots, they will be GIANT robots.

87. I will avoid changeling mistresses because...err...well....you never know what you're going to get.

88. I will avoid shifter mistresses even if they are cute because well..claws...sensetive areas.

89. Vampire mistresses...err..well the biting....can be MUCH worse than the neck.

90. I will accept advice about my immenent demise but not simply abandom my own troops.

91. Never start a land war in Asia.

92. Or Sarlona.

93. Never bet against a Sicillian when death is on the line either...

94. Or Boranal halflings.

95. Almost forget, to conquer Zilargo....oh who the hell wants it.

96. I will be like Le Chuck if I can. When I die, come back as a zombie. When the zombie dies, come back as a ghost. When the ghost is destroyed, come back as a demon. If that fails...come back as a god.

97. Tie my essence not to something small and easily transportable but something obscenely large and effectively indestructible.

98. If Breland's Dark Lanterns dispatches their best agent against me, don't try deathtraps or hordes of minions but pay off M to call him back.

99. Don't ever ally with anyone who are Nazi analogues.

100. See 99, PERIOD.

101. If a green radioactive rock has failed a thousand times to kill a superhero....try something else.

102. Wait til Jaela finishes Dark Pontiff's High school before making her my consort.
LugWrench

10-06-05, 02:00 AM		2228. Must not ask the paladin chick if she has 'put on a little weight'.
2229. Musnt tell Jaela that she is responsable for the Gloaming.
2230. Musnt tell the warforged that he is responsable, either.
2231. The Suggestion spell is not a Jedi Mind Trick.
2232. Im not even supposed to be here, today.
2233. Casting Mute on the warforged does not make him Silent Bob.
Charles Phipps

10-06-05, 02:19 AM		2233. Casting Mute on the warforged does not make him Silent Bob.

What if his name is Bob?
LugWrench

10-06-05, 01:51 PM		Uhhh..... Damnation. Okay, he might be Silent Bob, then.

2234. Despite the Armblade, Armbow, and Battlefist, warforged still arent OmniMechs.
2235. The warforged is not a training dummy.
2236. I should stop telling the monk this.
2237. Even if the warforged is a bit of a dummy.
2238. We do not have LAN parties.
2239. The warforged is not a router, so I should stop shoving wires into him.
2240. Especially the high-voltage ones.
2241. Despite the disturbingly happy sighs from the warforged.
2242. The airship does not have a towing hitch.
2243. I do not have the power of Life and Death.
Nurgan_the_drunked

10-07-05, 03:39 AM		29. Erandis D'Vol cannot be stopped by dropping a House on her.

2244: This also applies to tower 312.
2245: We will not tow Tower 312 about as "our mobile house of pleasure"
2246: Especially if you keep making comments about the size of your erection
2247: We will not ride past Argonessen so you can moon the dragons
2248: The dragon prophecy does not predict the outcome of next weeks Aundair horse races.
RaidingPartyGames

10-07-05, 10:57 AM		2249. The missing moon is not to be referred to as "The Death Star."
2250. Neither the Aurum nor House Kundarak are to be referred to as "Goldilocks"
2251. All right, I admit it, this keel-hauling thing works better as a punishment when an ocean's involved, but think of the splinters!
2252. Gnomish bards do not have access to the "Rubber Chicken" spell.
2253. Nor any magical item by the same name.
2254. Nor are they allowed to invent such.
2255. You are not my "little buddy", and even if we did get stranded on a desert island I certainly wouldn't let you name it after yourself.
2256. Regarding last night's wet toga/Syberis shard/Keeper-on-Keeper incident: We shall not speak of it again. I'm confiscating every last drop of alcohol on the ship, and every single woman who participated in the 'Best impression of the thirteen moons' contest is to report to my office immediately.
2257. Don't wait up.
2258. Togas, kilts, kimonos, and white plastic shell armor are unacceptable ship attire.
2259. If we crash into the hills, our first priority is helping the artificer get the ship running, not voting on who looks the tastiest.
2260. Well yes, the catgirl does look... wait... this line of thinking will cease and desist immediately.
2261. Look, do you think I dole out punishments for amusement?
2262. That's a good point, but it hurts me more than it hurts you.
2263. Granted, I could be just as sick as you as far as enjoying punishment.
2264. Okay, this joke's being dragged on a bit long... what the hell am I supposed to do to keep you people in line?
2265. Being left bound, gagged, naked, and cast to Jaela's mercy is not nor will it ever be an appropriate punishment.
2266. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.
2267. Mordain the Fleshweaver is not ever to be called Dr. Moreau.
2268. Nor does he live on "The Island of Dr. Mordain".
2269. I don't care how priceless his expression was when you first said it.
2270. What do you mean the other players all chuckled and Jeff sprayed soda? What in Khyber are you smoking?
2271. It is wrong to get tattoos for the sake of restoring the mark of death.
2272. The secret ingredient in Green Dragon's Blood is not people.
2273. We are fighting for freedom and glory, not eeps and swag.
2274. That's it, I'm leaving.
1. You shall not address your captain as "Fresh Meat", "Substitute Teacher", "Scab", "Second Place", "Filler Material", "New Guy", "Hardass", "Candy Ass", "Greenhorn", or "Little Sally Frou Frou, Princess of the Fairy Petals".
2. Keel hauling is an option.
3. You shall not address your captain as "Masthead", "Replacement Rudder", or "Dino-fishing-bait", nor shall you ever ever keel haul him again.
4. Keeper Jaela is not of the age of consent, and even if she were, she certainly wouldn't consent to /that/.
5. Neither would Erandis d'Vol. And they certainly wouldn't settle things with a pillow fight.
6. Oh dear Sovereign, I think I'm going to be sick.
7. You shall not address your captain as "Chuck", "The Hurler", "Sir Barfsalot", "The Technicolor Yawn", "Salad Shooter", "Vomit Comet", "Hurly McHurlerson from the Hurly Kingdom of Hurl", or "Spewy".
8. When the captain hides in his room and states that he wishes to be left alone, the appropriate response does not involve sending in the shifter to cuddle.
9. Look, I don't care how fetching she is.
10. It really doesn't matter which fetching I meant, now does it?
11. Oh... /that's/ Marish. I see.
12. What list?
2287. This behavior is despicable, you are all reprehensible for keeping a record of your misdeeds, and if we ever reach 3333 I'm driving straight to Riedra for "Corrective Behavior Modification".
2288. After having met you lot, yes, myself included. Feel... so... dirty...
2289. Psionics aren't better at giving head.
2290. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.
2291. Changeling's natural forms are not blue with red hair.
2292. The next person to tell the warforged that declaring "KILL ALL HUMANS" while walking with outstretched arms and big clanging steps is a good way to make friends and influence people will be shot out of a torpedo tube.
2293. I don't care that they haven't been invented yet. We have ways.
LugWrench

10-07-05, 12:13 PM		2294. Dolgrims were not created by 'cracking a few goblin skulls together'.
2295. I should stop telling the warforged this.
2296. But I wont.
2297. The shifter girl may be deliciously feline, but thats no excuse for her to use the ship as a scratching post.
2298. Bribery doesnt work on any member of the watch above the rank of sargeant.
2299. Unless youre offering the shifter girl.
RadicalTaoist

10-07-05, 01:47 PM		2238. We do not have LAN parties.
2300. You are not first on the server.
2301. Receiving a buffing spell is not the same as "turning on uber l337 h4x".
2302. There is no 'god mode', and if there were, you would not be allowed to turn it on.
2303. It's spelled E-L-I-T-E.
2304. Put down that sword....HEY! STOP TK'ING, NUB! WTF!
LugWrench

10-07-05, 02:34 PM		2305. The artifacer does not 'jack in' to the warforged to fix him.
2306. The warforged is not vulnerable to 'cyberpsychosis'.
2307. Pray that he doenst find out what that means.
2308. Pray like you have never prayed before......
2309. The necromancer is NOT Dr. Frankenstien.
2310. Even if he does build a flesh golem, its not Frankensteins Monster.
2311. Its name is Adam.
2312. Any female psionic named Jean Grey will not be allowed on board.
2313. I dont care how good she is, this aint the [CENSORED] X-Men.
Majorafire77

10-08-05, 08:50 PM		2314. Any ring that you find is not to be referred to as "the precious"
2315. There is no Golden Compass
2316. ... or Subtle Knife
2317. And no, you can't make them (even if you are an artificer)
2318. The fairy's blood is NOT toothpaste
2319. stop trying to brush your teeth with it
2320. You cannot refer to any of the Arcanix wizards as Gandalf
2321. or Saruman
2322. or Dumbledore
2323. Orc mages are not to be referred to as Thrall
2324. and Silver Flame paladins are not to be referred to as Arthas
Thwyvylyn

10-08-05, 10:07 PM		Thrall is a Farseer aka a Shaman. Shaman are Divine not Arcane casters :P
LugWrench

10-08-05, 11:15 PM		2326. The airship was not built for "Junkyard Wars"
2327. Neither was the warforged.
2328. You cant ask the shifter girl and the changeling girl to do a pinup calendar.
2329. Unless you split the profits with the crew.
Charles Phipps

10-08-05, 11:28 PM		2330. This ship is in Eberron, we shall not act like we're playing Warhammer.
2331. Eberron will not be described as "Like Torg only not as fun."
2332. We shall not break the 4th wall...
2333. That will include references to "min-maxing for fun and profit."...
2334. Reading the Eberron handbooks while we game in character....
2335. Making snappy comeback lines that require out of character knowledge....
2336. Making REFERENCES to being Batman.
2337. Rolling Dice.
2338. Shouting CRITICAL HIT after a spectacular maneuver.
2339. Having arguements in game about whether female RPGers exist or not...
2340. Especially if you are sitting next to one at the table.
2341. YES, She's a girl.
2342. I don't need to tell you twice since she's hit you painfully.
2343. Cross gender roleplaying is no longer permitted due to...
2344. The abundance of lesbian softcore..
2345. Making disturbing comments about your character's booty in your throaty guy voice...
2346. The fact you make FAN art of your character...
2347. And this is hardly the creepiest stuff.
2348. Shifters will not be referred to as "furries."
2349. Conan the Barbarian is not your role model.
Missekat

10-09-05, 02:34 AM		in reference to "2349": Aww.. come on! Everyone knows what the greatest motto in the world is?! WWCD! (What Would Conan Do)
LugWrench

10-10-05, 01:12 PM		2350. The warforged is forbidden to play basketball with the gnome.
2351. Especially when he is using said gnome as the ball.
Rollinrice

10-10-05, 04:21 PM		2352 You cannot crit a warforged with a can opener.
2353 Stop telling the warforged this.
2354 Halflings and gnomes are not good eating.
2355 Again stop telling the warforged this.
2356 Shifters do not wear flea collars.
2357 Stop telling the shifters this.
2358 And the warforged.
2359 The warforged do not have brass knuckles.
2360 Nor are they a walking port-a-jon.
2361 Please quit telling the warforged these things.
Ichor Spellka

10-10-05, 04:21 PM		2362. The goliath with "Fling Ally" is not to play football with the warforged juggernaught.
2363. Especially when said warforged is the ball.
2364. It is very, very wrong to tell this to either of them.
Rollinrice

10-10-05, 04:22 PM		2365 The first warforged prostitute will be melted for armor.
2366 Warforged will not be pimped.
2367 Warforged can not be pimps.
2368 A warforged with the sonic ability will not be referred to as a vibrator.
Calibim

10-10-05, 10:37 PM		Ok I been reading this for days and thought I should add some.

2369. You did not "Steal the Baby from the stupid Dhakaani"
2370. Dhakaani weren't even in the movie...ok it's pretty close
2371. Not allowed to make any character that sounds like Pachino in "Sent of a Women"
2372. I will pimp slap the next person that sez "WHO-HAH!!"
2373. No you can not have your Necromancer look like Iggy Pop.
2374. Ok maybe....that guy is creepy looking.
2375. You can not cast "Enlarge" on specific body parts. I don't know if any one said it before, but it bears repeating.
LazarusX

10-10-05, 10:44 PM		Oh lord, please please....someone who has a faster connection then mine, and who has the time; please collect all this incredibly hilarious material into one post.

That way I can print it out easily, and have everyone I know laughing for days.

I'd pay but I'm poor.

EDIT: Nevermind, obviously I missed page 2. The Holy Grail hath been found.
Charles Phipps

10-10-05, 11:28 PM		2376. We will not all put on goatees to pretend to be our Mirror Universe counterparts.
2378. The changeling will not immitate other crew members to claim to be their Mirror Universe counterparts.
2379. It is wrong to tell the warforged either of the above is true.
2380. I will not fall for you all pretending I've been teleported into a Mirror Universe....
2381. Even if you put a Helm of Opposite Alignment on Aurala to make her a sexy dominatrix.
2382. A Helm of opposite alignment to make Jaela incredibly bratty.
2383. A helm of opposite alignment to make Kaius incompetent but peaceful while feeding on tomatoe juice.
2384. Where did you get all of those damn helms.
2385. Infect Boranal with Lycanthropy to make him incredibly vicious and egotistical.
2386. It is NOT wrong to make all the women's fashions on the ship incredibly slutty to reflect the environment though.
2387. Listen if you were the Mirror Universe Forgotten Freedom everyone would be NICE now wouldn't they?
2388. Mirror Universe Captain Jarlot would NOT be nicer than me!
2389. ...So stop trying to get him onboard with a teleport accident!
2390. Mirror Universe crew would not say "BIZZARROOOOOO!" every other line so stop saying it.
2391. The Mirror Universe Lord of Blades is not a Barber.
2392. The Mirror Universe Quori are not the Care Bears.
2393. The Mirror Universe Lords of Dust do not resemble Mr. Clean or the Bounty Man.
2394. The Mirror Universe Last War did not resemble 100 years of Woodstock.
2395. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.
2396. The Mirror Universe House Cannith doesn't sell flowers.
2397. Mirror Universe House Deneith aren't hippies.
2398. Mirror Universe House Thuranni are not pirates...
2399. Because Pirates are the opposite of ninjas.
2400. Mirror Universe Argonessan is not inhabited by Flumphs
2401. The Mirror Universe did not have a Dungeons and Dragon movie that did not suck.
2402. The Mirror Universe cannot be reached by modifying a remote control to create wormholes in space.
2403. Ketler is not Quinn Mallory.
2404. The Dwarf is NEVER John Rhys Davis
2405. The Mirror Universe Dargunn is not the homeland of Keebler Elves.
2406. Mirror Universe Aerenal does not worship the Beach Boys.
2407...I don't even know why you suggested that.
2408. Mirror Universe Valenar are not a bunch of armchair liberals.
2409. ...It is wrong to go to the Mirror Universe to try and conquer them.
2410. Mirror Universe Droam is not home to Furbies....
2411. Actual Droam is.
2412. Mirror Universe Eldeen Reaches does not resemble downtown Chicago.
2413. Mirror Universe Sharn is not a hellacious pit....
2414. Normal Universe Sharn has enough of that.
2415. Mirror Universe Khyber is not the home of the Fraggles.
2416. Mirror Universe Shifters are not muppets.
2417. Mirror Universe Talenta Planes do not have giants riding chocobos.
2418. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.
2419. Mirror Universe Cardinal Kronzen is not Frank N. Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture show.
2420. Actual Universe Cardinal Kronzen has a very active private life.
2421. The Mirror Universe does not have the worship of the Golden Pond.
2422. If they did it'd be wrong to attempt to sell urine as holy water.
2423. Mirror Universe Erandis D'Vol is not a misunderstood angsty Goth teen....
2424. Sadly actual universe one is.
JakeQuistis

10-11-05, 12:30 PM		The 101 Captain Jarlot's Evil Overlord Pirate List Suggestions
103. Referring to 84, I will instead make several other things banned, that will not lower the people's opinion of me, so that when the heroes do come, I can just laugh at them.
LugWrench

10-12-05, 01:30 AM		2425. The warforged does not need software upgrades.
2426. The ship does not run on Windows.
2427. No, the paladin chick will not 'lay on hands' on you.
2428. No matter how nicely you ask.
2429. No, you cant bribe her, either.
2430. The bard will not learn poetry beginning 'there was a man from nantucket.'
2431. The bard will not inspire confidence with such songs as 'bluff the stupid ogre.'
2432. You still cant kill Lich Vol by dropping houses on her.
2433. I should tell the warforged this.
2434. Eventually.
Charles Phipps

10-12-05, 01:57 AM		2435. You are forbidden from ever speaking again except for the words..
2436. Arrrrrrr...
2437. Matey...
2438. Hellooooo poppettt...
2439. Parley?...
2440. SNARRRRRRLLL...
2441. Grrrrrrrrr....
2441. Shiver me Timbers!...
2442. Aiye Captain!...
2443. Yo Ho!...

This should entirely satisfy your Pirate speach requirements.
rampant

10-12-05, 02:40 AM		2444 use of warforged as cannonballs is a last ditch effort

2445 warforged will not be used as heated shot

2446 my hat is not a toy

2447 you may not bring a bucket of water into to the vault of the silver flame

2448 I don't care how cool the sizzling noises are

2449 Captain:NO
crewmember: but I was just
Captain : Nothing else at all to do with Jeala ,no nothing shut up

2450 the shifter may not use the mast as a scratching post or nibble stick

2452 Warfoged may not be named data, lore, b-4, jehuty, anubis, nieth, gundam, melith, guymelith, ironsides, optimus, galvatron or Hotstreak

2453 I don't care what it is just NO!!!
Charles Phipps

10-12-05, 02:50 AM		2455. Mirror Universe Jaela doesn't want to sleep with you either.

2456. It is wrong to dress as a teddy bear to lure Jaela in.

2457. A confession will not be done to the Pontiff while she is on your knee.

2458. Jaela will not be induced to being the navigator for our ship and saying 'Baka alot'

2459. The Keeper of the Flame does not refill the propane.

2460. The Keeper of the Flame doesn't shovel coal.

2461. It is wrong to dress the WARFORGED as a teddy bear.

2462. It is wrong to say the costume of any anthormoprhic animal is a special warforged only magic armor.

2463. Even if it makes them somehow MORE intimidating.
LugWrench

10-12-05, 04:38 AM		2464. Attaching a lodestone to the warforged does not make him sing folk songs.
2465. So stop throwing lodestones at him.
2466. Ioun stones are not for target practice.
2467. I should tell the warforged this.
2468. But I probably wont.
2469. Telling the warforged the grey ioun stones bring luck is forbidden.
2470. He has a dozen of the things flying around him for chrissakes...
2471. Selling said grey ioun stones as any kind of dragonshard is a bad idea.
2472. Ill stop one of these days.
Charles Phipps

10-12-05, 04:46 AM		2473. It is wrong to teach the warforged the song "Iron Man."
LugWrench

10-12-05, 05:01 AM		2474. The bard may sing "The Red" when a barbarian rages.
2475. The bard may also sing 'Cars' when we are in the airship.
2476. Note, it must be the Fear Factory cover, or else the bard will be keelhauled.
Thwyvylyn

10-12-05, 05:32 AM		2477. Under no circumstances will you ever teach the bard to play This (http://www.mybarbarian.com/mb-web/video/unicorns_hi.mov)
Phaseroth

10-12-05, 07:51 AM		That was ... disturbing. I loved it!
rampant

10-12-05, 12:02 PM		2478 the artificer is forbidden to make any gauntlet out of brass

2479 the gnome is not dinosaur bait

2480 the anchor is not a dinosaur hook

2481 Once and for all time no...one...on this...ship...is...Batman...

2482 the name of the ship is Forgotten Freedom not the Flying Asylum
LugWrench

10-12-05, 03:38 PM		2483. You dont have to be crazy to work on this ship, but it helps.
2484. Nobody is screaming, its just you.
2485. You are not the Draconic Prophesy.
2486. The Prophesy is not being spoken by some dude in a black duster and silver goggles named Morpheus.
Lathlander

10-12-05, 04:18 PM		2487. The Warforged will not be reincarnated as a blender

2488. It is wrong to tell him this.

2489. We will not use the airship to go duck hunting, or any other kind of bird hunting.

2490. We will not have the Changling impersonate a Werewolf and say "You missed one!" to anger the Paladins of the Silver Flame.

2491. We will not replace the Blood offering with ketchup in the Blood of Vol temple.

2492. We will not collect two of each animal on the airship so that we can preserve every species on the continent. We have a hard enough time feeding the crew.
rampant

10-12-05, 07:48 PM		i don't get number 2492
Decree Of Boredom

10-12-05, 09:21 PM		2493. No, you may not turn your luggage into a homunculus.

2494. Nor your mother's dead body.

2495. Kalashtar psions are not allowed to carry bags of sand, rubies, and funky looking helmets.

2496. Nor is it even biologically possible for them to be the brothers of super-cheerful Aeranal necromancers.

2497. Aeranal necromancers may not be super-cheerful.

2498. On the other hand, wearing all black, writing bad poetry in the corner of the tavern, and putting on all that awful white make-up is a keelhauling offense.

2499. It is wrong to tell warforged that sharpening their armblade will make them go blind.

2500. It is also wrong to tape their eyes shut after telling them this.
rampant

10-12-05, 09:52 PM		2501. I reapeat do not use poop deck as a toilet

2502. And no its not the cabin boy's job to clean it up

2503. I will not catch the next idiot who jumps out of the ship

2504. I have removed a patch of the keels varnish now it has extra spinters

2505. When we get to 3333 and head to riedra the costs for the behavior mods are coming out of your pockets
LugWrench

10-12-05, 10:17 PM		2505. No, you did not start the Last War because you were bored.
2506. I will stop selling fake maps to lycanthrope houses to the Silver Flame.
2507. I did not go to junior high with Jaela.
2508. The warforged's arm sheath isnt for -that- kind of wand.
2509. I will stop hiding the wizards wand of Big Kabooms in the warforged's arm sheath.
2510. Or at least tell him to stop high-fiving everyone.
2511. Aeranal elves do not want or need prozac.
2512. Female Talentia halflings to not wear birkas.
rampant

10-13-05, 03:35 AM		2513. yes you have to read whole list, there will be pop quizzes
jennibert

10-13-05, 09:58 AM		This is such a great thread, I just had to add on....

2514. King Kaius is decidedly not LeStat. And his wife is by no means the Queen of the D****d.

2515. Infact, all Anne Rice references are expressly forbidden when speaking about Karrnath.

2516. ...or the Aerenal elves.

2517. We are not "on the jazz."

2518. And the warforged is not Mr. T.

2519. Even if that is his name.

2520. And he has fashioned himself a mohawk and has a body lined with gold.
Phanuel

10-13-05, 05:14 PM		i don't get number 2492

It's a reference to the story of Noah's Ark in Genesis 6 - 9. It may also be a reference to the story of Utnapishtim in the Epic of Gilgamesh tablet XI.
rampant

10-14-05, 02:42 AM		I still don't get it
Jancarius

10-14-05, 03:00 AM		Some of these are reaching the point of just not being funny.
Thwyvylyn

10-14-05, 03:04 AM		It's a reference to the story of Noah's Ark. Noah was told by God to build this ark. God told Noah to gather 2 of every animal, a male and a female and bring them on to the ship so they could survive the flood. The point made in 2492 is that the party should try to duplicate Noah and bring 2 of every animal in Eberron onto the ship, the reason being they would not have enough food to feed them all. Imagine how much a Great Wyrm Red Dragon eats in a day. As for getting the reference between the number 2492 and the joke I do not think there is a connection.
RaidingPartyGames

10-14-05, 10:12 AM		It's a reference to the story of Noah's Ark. Noah was told by God to build this ark. God told Noah to gather 2 of every animal, a male and a female and bring them on to the ship so they could survive the flood. The point made in 2492 is that the party should try to duplicate Noah and bring 2 of every animal in Eberron onto the ship, the reason being they would not have enough food to feed them all. Imagine how much a Great Wyrm Red Dragon eats in a day. As for getting the reference between the number 2492 and the joke I do not think there is a connection.

Fer some reason 2492 wuz blank earlier. It's back now!!

2521. No matter how cute Marish thinks they are, there will be no hiring of goblin barbarians.

2522. Nor making plush dolls of the same.

2523. Oh for Host's sakes, warforged plushies? That's just wrong!

2524. The warforged is not the same thing as a pet rock.

2525. It is especially wrong to tell it such during a boarding maneuver.

2525. I will learn to count without resorting to fingers, toes, and appendages.

2527. "Forgotten Freedom" is not a bondage reference.

2528. It is wrong to tell the Keeper of the Flame this.

2529. Rental of the ship and/or artificer's equipment and/or shifter bard with a whip for bondage purposes is strictly prohibited and will cease and desist immediately.

2530. Just because the artificer uses infusions doesn't give rights to anyone on the ship to spend half the day with a needle sticking out of your arm.

2531. Except me.

2532. Because I'm the captain, that's why!

2533. Look, if you had to deal with yourself, you'd understand.
rampant

10-15-05, 04:40 AM		2534. Oh, now you beha... **** thought too soon

2535. BY THE DRAGONS!!!!!! WHAT UNHOLY ??!?!! ... you clean this up, you dump the bodies.?.?. pieces of anyway, you catch me *faints*

2536. This never happened.

2537. The new guy is a bit of a wierdo don't take him too seriously

2538. Do not tease the new guy or try to look under his armor he was badly burned by acid and as such doesn't like to be seen leave him alone

yes I know mine are a little forced but i really want this to get to 3333, i have a great set for after the behavior mods
Phaseroth

10-15-05, 07:20 PM		2539: No, the kalashtar monk will not show you any "nifty moves" so you can "start trashing bozos".

2540: It is best if you do not call the Sentinel Marshal a "Rent-a-cop".

2541: Pointing to Merrix d'Cannith's dragonmark and saying, "Hey, nice ink!" is unlikely to improve his attitude from "indifferent" to "friendly".

2542: The rumor you heard about a shop in the Firelight District selling potions of natural male enhancement is unfounded.

2543: There is no Cult of the Dragon On The Left.
rampant

10-16-05, 05:39 AM		2544. or on the right

2545. or in any other direction, besides below

2546. that includes non-spatial, and quasi-spacial directions
LugWrench

10-16-05, 05:50 PM		2547. There a re no cheatsheets to get out of a Maze spell.
2548. No, my cheatsheets are not authentic.
2549. Baelful Polymorph does not change the target into a bale of hay.
2550. I must not waste a Wish spell on a candy bar.
2551. I am not to use a Wish spell on Jaela for ANYTHING.
Jancarius

10-17-05, 02:42 AM		2545. or in any other direction, besides belowExcept Between and Above
Lawless

10-17-05, 06:01 PM		2552. A warforged soulknife is not Darth Vader

2553. Unless it's halloween

2554. A warforged, catgirl shifter, and halfling is not the cast of FLCL

2555. Unless they're funny

2556. Do not call the dogboy shifter Inyuasha

2557. Unless he's half-fiendish, then he brought it on himself

2558. Not all pirates act like Johhny Depp from 'Pirates of the Caribbean'

2559. Even if they're good at it

2560. Jaela wouldn't like it anyway

2561. Catgirl shifters can't wear sailor school girl outfits

2562. Catholic school gear is OK

2563. Halflings named Edward and Warforged partners name Alfonse will be keelhauled, along with Two Weapon Fighting angsty drow

2564. TWICE

2565. Once more for good measure.

2566. I should tell the female changling that she does not have to be naked with blue skin and red hair.

2567. But I will not, and people will thank me for it :)

2568. Eberron still is not medieval Shadowrun

2569. Nor is it D20 Modern

2570. But I am Batman, accept it, it is true. :D

2571. No you can't have a female shifter based of Baalah from Pawn

2572. But the changeling could try and look like her, hmm?!?
KP91

10-17-05, 08:11 PM		403. Nor will you offer them maidens as a sacrifice
2573. Especially to dragons named Puff.
LugWrench

10-18-05, 09:21 PM		2574. I must not use Holy Water Balloons for strafing runs against King Kaius
The Spellsword

10-19-05, 02:57 AM		2575. The Iron Defender is not a pet.

2576. Nor is it a show dog.

2577. ...Unless we can make money from it.

2578. No killing your rival in the first run in.

2579. Even if he looks cooler then you.

2580. Don't be mad if his swords bigger as well...
rampant

10-19-05, 03:29 AM		2581. Permanently scarring your rival on the first encounter is allowed.

2582. Especially if he scarred you first.

2583. I was drunk there is no Batman on this ship.
rampant

10-20-05, 03:41 AM		2584. The galley is not a bath room.
Zemyla

10-20-05, 08:56 PM		2585. You will not call an Inspired ambassador "dreamy".

2586. You can turn an Inspired to stone. However, calling them a "marble quori" afterwards is just wrong.
Decree Of Boredom

10-21-05, 12:55 AM		2587. No, your dad does not run a secret agency.

2588. And even if he did, it would not be fighting misleadingly named evil outsiders.

2589. And even if it did that, no warforged painted purple would be involved.

2590. Duct tape, cereal boxes, and parts harvested from the trash can not be used to make any kind of construct.

2591. And it's spelled fear, not ph34r!

2592. You do not have an incarnate conscience that sits on your shoulder.

2593. I don't care if you strap wings on your familiar!
Nurgan_the_drunked

10-21-05, 09:11 AM		2594: You may not suck all the monsters out of Khyber with an enormous vacuum cleaner.

2595: The Silver Flame are not to be called regarding agricultural pests.

2596: Reforged do not get visited by a blue fairy one night and become real boys.

2597: "It's not big and it's not clever" does not translate as "now that would be SOOO KEWL!"

2598: The Quori are not led by a long haired goth who looks like Robert Smith

2599: You shall not test if warforged have souls by offering one to a rajah for ultimate power.
LugWrench

10-21-05, 06:37 PM		2600. Warforged to not have to be rented.
2601. I should stop colleting rent for warforged.
2602. Tossing alchemists fire in the flame elemental ring does not make the ship go faster.
2603. It makes a pretty bang, though.
2604. Magnetizing the warforged is not funny.
2605. Sleeping with the paladin chick is not a 'religious experience'.
UssAltiuiMirshan

10-21-05, 06:57 PM		2587. No, your dad does not run a secret agency.

2588. And even if he did, it would not be fighting misleadingly named evil outsiders.

2589. And even if it did that, no warforged painted purple would be involved.

2590. Duct tape, cereal boxes, and parts harvested from the trash can not be used to make any kind of construct.

2591. And it's spelled fear, not ph34r!

2592. You do not have an incarnate conscience that sits on your shoulder.

2593. I don't care if you strap wings on your familiar!


lmao, looks like I'm not the only one who reads MegaTokyo around here...what kind of bonus would a hampster familiar provide anyways??
Straylight

10-21-05, 09:27 PM		lmao, looks like I'm not the only one who reads MegaTokyo around here...what kind of bonus would a hampster familiar provide anyways??

Depends on how drunk you are at the time, I think. However, since that particular reference of a reference actually IS a D&D reference, I think the point is moot. Minsc was too wierd for me. Anyway:



2606: You may not have a miniature giant space hamster as your familiar.

2607: ...or your animal companion.

2608: That one's been done. Twice. Give it up.

2609: No, Trent Oster still doesn't want to give you your job back.

2610: No, you may not usurp control of all the undead in Karrnath and use them to purge all of the "Un-Darkly Cute" from the world. Speaking as the former head of the Church of Miho, that power is mine and mine alone.

2611: The Warforged does not have a "rejection mode."

2612: Not even while raging.

2613: The Artificer may not invent the Killstick, Chibi Killstick, or any variant therof. Crowiko beat you to it.

2614: Any young, jailbait female necromancers with mental issues are not allowed to wear hair ribbons.

2615: The ultimate source of your power is not the Necrowombicon.

2616: It is, however, mine.

2617: Yes, Duct Tape is an effective weapon against Stick golems.

2617: You may not summon fanboy armies.

2618: Or ex-Idols.

2619: You may not make any sort of "URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT!!" unless your name is Scott Douglas "Draegos" Thompson.

2620: If the Captain is sick and calls off the day's activities, it is not a DPD (Dead Pirate Day).

2621: 6o 3z o\/\ 73h n0()8z, d00d.
[2621: My brother, you must provide subtitles for they who are not among our elite order.]

2622: Oh look, more bombs.

2623: Next time, use shorter taunts.

2624: Okay! Enough MegaTokyo references already!





[For the unenlightened: www.megatokyo.com Relax, they understand j00.]
Thwyvylyn

10-22-05, 12:10 AM		2625. You are not to summon Cthulhu

2626. Not are you to have the artificer make a scroll of hold divine being

2627. And then use it while the bard plays elevator music.

2628. Nor is Cthulhu to be introduced to any Daelkyr

2629. I have so little sanity left from last time.

2630. You will disregard any similarity between the Silver Flame and the Golden Throne.

2631. Even if the bound divine beings in either have told you different.

2632. No, the quori don't have drinking games.

2633. Nor can you get them drunk.

2634. I swear that Kalashtar was sober when I left her...

2635. Painting the Warforged red will not make him go faster

2636. Especially if he has an Admantine Body

2637. It is wrong to tell him this

2638. Same goes for painting the ship red

2639. We are not Karrnathi

2640. The ship stays green.

2641. Because I am Captain and I say so.

2642. The artificer is not to be refered to as that "Rambling Wreck from Cannith Tech, with skillz in cogs and gears."

2643. You will not get a Lycanthrope to infect Aurala.

2644. Or for any other purpose.

2645. Especially not that....

2646. You will not get Dragonmark Tattoos.

2647. We have enough trouble as it is.

2648. Renegade Mastermakers are not Cyborgs.

2649. Nor are they named Batou or Motoko Kusanagi.

2650. Riedrans have no trouble with Rs or Ls.
rampant

10-22-05, 03:14 PM		2651. Riedrans are not stupid.

2652. Just because they are the only ones who don't understand that thier "inspired' leaders are evil demons from the relams of dreams and that the kalashtar are the good-guys, uh actually i take back 2651.

2653. Riedrans are stupid.
Decree Of Boredom

10-22-05, 09:14 PM		2654. Telling your familiar to "go for the beer" is never, ever a good thing.

2555. Hamster familiars give a -2 penalty on all saves to resist drunkeness, and render you immune to alcohol poisoning.

2556. Telling the crewmates with hamster familiars this is a keelhaulable offense.
Dex

10-22-05, 09:55 PM		2557. The artificer MAY NOT gain warforged cohorts with the Adamantine body feat, kill them, then salvage them for the 'raw material'

2558. The Forgotten Freedom is NOT fully submersible.

2559. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.

2560. No, not even if we get a water elemental bound to the ring.
rampant

10-23-05, 06:33 PM		2561. Hamsters are to be kept seperate at all times we don't have enough food for another tribble parody.
Decree Of Boredom

10-23-05, 08:22 PM		2561. No one on this ship can kill people with their brains.

2562. Yes, is wrong to tell the warforged this.

2563. Oh, I'm sorry--no one on this ship without a great bloody quori stuck in their head can kill people with their brains.

2564. None of the major holy texts of the Silver Flame or the Host are fuzzy about kneecaps.

2565. You may not refers to the shifters as trained apes...without the training.

2566. Being struck with water balloons does not cause warforged to go on murderous rampages.

2567. And yes, it is wrong to tell them this.

2568. The artificer may not craft anything while drunk.

2469. Especially after the "Captain's Undergarments" golem we had a few weeks back.

2470. After the "Girdle of Reverse Masculinity/Femininity" incident, the artificer may not craft anything at all.
Thwyvylyn

10-23-05, 09:17 PM		2672. Especially garments of enhance Masculinity/Femininity.
rampant

10-24-05, 02:36 AM		hey decree you put down 2561 right after my 2561 we are a number behind

2473. The artificer will deconstruct that golem and give me my stuff back immediatly
Thwyvylyn

10-24-05, 06:37 AM		2674. Even though it's technically legal by the "universal rules", anyone who thinks of taking both levels in dread pirate/swashbuckler and ninja will be keelhauled and then dropped off in Thrane where they know how to deal with such outrageous blasphemy.

2675. Anyone attempting to multi-class a ninja and a wizard will meet the same fate.
LugWrench

10-24-05, 01:57 PM		2676. I am not allowed to dress up as Drizzt for Halloween.
2677. The warforged is not allowed to dress up as the Lord of Blades.
2678. NOBODY dresses up as Vol.
2679. Nobody dresses up as Jaela, either. Its just not right.
2680. The artifacer is forbidden to attempt to make a Pumpkin Golem.
2681. Especially a Great Pumpkin Golem, Charlie Brown.....
2682. I will report for KP duty for posting 2681.
Kinger

10-24-05, 02:04 PM		2683. There is no small, out-of-the-way hamlet where the villagers worship you as a folk hero.
2684. No! Just because you robbed their lord doesn't make it so!
LugWrench

10-25-05, 02:21 AM		2685. We do not rob from the rich and give to the poor.
2686. Okay, we do rob from the rich, but we just pocket what we take.
2687. We dont rob from the Silver Flame, nor the Sovereign Host.
2688. We do have some standards, after all.
2689. Replacing comunion wine with cinnamon schnapps isnt funny.
2690. If they find out it was me, Im in deep Rakshasa butter.....
rampant

10-25-05, 03:45 AM		2691. How many times do i have to remind you louts that the poop deck is not used for that
WolfHati

10-25-05, 06:54 PM		2692: We will not hire gnoll mercenaries by offering to give them the halfling to eat. We don't even have a halfling.
2693: No, we will not go recruit a halfling.
2694: Just because "they can't tell the difference" doesn't mean you can feed them the gnome, either.
2695: Actually, there will be no feeding of any member of the crew to gnolls, or to any other creature for that matter. Period.
2696: Not even if nobody likes them anyway.
2697: Unless I don't like them and tell you to. Then it's OK.
Thwyvylyn

10-25-05, 07:58 PM		2698. You shall not sell your soul to a Rakshasa for a donut.

2699. Nor any other kinds of pastry

2700. The above applies to the Daelkyr, The Dreaming Dark, and any other kind of diabolical, demonic, or extraplanar organizations.

2701. No selling any other person's soul for pastries

2702. Especially to the aforementioned organizations.
Kinger

10-25-05, 08:26 PM		2703. Nap time comes before pants time, not after.
2704. No, you're not allowed to just make up times.
2705. You are not allowed to trade our crockpot, nor any other piece of equipment from the ship, for a "mystery box," no matter how tempting.
Charles Phipps

10-25-05, 08:46 PM		2706. You will not bind the soul of your brother's dead body to a suit of armor.

2707. You will not tell the warforged that this is how he was created.

2708. The Kings Wands are not "State Alchemists."

2709. Neither are the Knights Arcane.

2710. A warforged wizard is not a "Full Metal"

2711. The Artificer does not make Homonculus by failed ressurection spells.

2712. It is wrong to tell him this.

2713. Philosopher's stone is not made of people.

2714. You will not shout this Charlton Heston style.

2715. It is not funny to make an Alchemist who shows people his daughter's baby pictures.

2716. Especially if the player is a new father using his own.

2717. Warforged grafts are not "automail"

2718. You cannot be an artificer named Winry.

2719. A transmuter is not an alchemist period.

2720. ...Wait, yes he is. Nevermind.

2721. It is wrong to try and sew people together to make chimera.

2722. Especially your wife and little girl.

2723. Err...don't ask about how rule 2723 got started. Let's just say two words "Child support"

2724. We will not use Alchemy to set ourselves up as gods of superstitious locals....

2725. More than once.

2726. Transmuting lead into gold only reduces gold's value.

2727. I will not use Gloves of Fireballs...

2728. In order to call myself the "Flame Alchemist"
Decree Of Boredom

10-25-05, 09:08 PM		2729. Should the events prohibited by rule 2683, you will buy the ship's pilot all the booze he needs to get himself into a drunken stupor. In fact, you're paying for everyone's drinks.

2730. We don't care if your food is "problematic". Just eat the damn thing and be done with it!
Charles Phipps

10-25-05, 09:32 PM		2731. No kidnapping Jaela.

2732. PERIOD!

2733. No making your homonculus like Jaela!

(Actually done by players)
Kinger

10-25-05, 09:37 PM		2734. The Laws of Conservation of Mass and Energy, the Principle of Equivalent Trade, or whatever the hell you want to call it are purely fictional! As a spellcaster, you are not required to abide by them, dammit!

2735. It is wrong to tell the warforged he is.

2736. You are not allowed to name your Homunculi after the Seven Deadly Sins, nor any of the following: Spike, Tiddles, Mr Fluffsywuffsy, Rover, Wuvvyduvvy, Bickybabyboowoo, K9, Bishop, Pugsywugsy, Mini-Me, or Junior.

2737. Thermodynamics be damned! When casting Fireball, the wizard doesn't spontaneously make it colder somewhere else to "even things out." See 2734.

2738. You are not allowed to spontaneously invent gunpowder to defeat the lich in an alternate fashion. You're a half-orc barbarian with 6 Int, that's why!

2739. (following 2705) If mistakenly killed by a party member, your spirit is not allowed to possess the Warforged in order to get a new body. We have Raise Dead, after all, and we're quite willing to use it.

2740. The Warforged does not have a Time and Temperature function.

2741. It is wrong to tell him he just hasn't found it yet.

2742. House Cannith did not gather up all the homeless people of Sharn and use their souls and flesh to give life to their Warforged.

2743. Whoever first told the Warforged this shall be keelhauled as soon as he or she is discovered.

2744. Running around shouting "Warforged is people!" is only going to get people correcting your grammar.
rampant

10-26-05, 02:26 AM		2745. Stop poking me.
PoeticJustice

10-26-05, 03:32 AM		2746) Calling the Valenar High King Vadallia "that slant-eared landgrabber" is strictly forbidden
2747) ...While in his presence, anway
2748) That smell isn't evidence of a small manifest zone to Xoriat, it's you.
2749) Jaela doesn't fart, belch, or defecate
2750) No, that doesn't make her a Warforged
2751) Its wrong to tell the Lord of Blades otherwise
2752) Even if he is sweet on her
2753) Because she's probably not interested
2754) And his awkward and oft-spurned approaches are not the root of his hatred for the meatbags
2755) although this might apply to the DM

Oh boy, this if fun! I had avoided this thread before, but wow!
Nurgan_the_drunked

10-26-05, 04:43 AM		2756) You will not collapse the towers of Sharn "for the XP"
2757) You will not attempt to restart the mourning in Thrane "for the irony value"
2758) You will not attack Aundair "for a laugh"
2759) Aundair wizards might actually be able to take the skies from you
2760) The game "pennies from Siberys" involving trying to hit people with copper pieces from two miles is forbidden.
2762) I don't care how many true strikes you've prepared today
2763) The mist of the Mournland is not to be stored in jars on board
rampant

10-26-05, 02:35 PM		2764. Nor is it to be stored in bags of holding, other extradimensional pocks, or vials, empty potion bottles, the warforged or... where in xoriat did you get a plastic baggy.
LugWrench

10-27-05, 03:25 PM		2765. I must not make a list of things we arent allowed to do, lest some bad guy get ahold of it and figure out we are just a bunch of screwballs.
2766. I am not allowed to point out when the captain makes mistakes.
2767. Nor am I allowed to remind the captain about said mistakes three months later.
2768. The moons are not made of cheese.
2769. I should stop telling the warforged this.
2770. Dragonshards are not imprisoned souls.
2771. Well, maybe the are, but Im still not allowed to cackle every time I get one.
2772. Devourers do not have 'a serious case of the munchies'.
2773. It is bad form to offer one the halfling as an hors d'eourve.
Charles Phipps

10-27-05, 07:32 PM		2774. I will not build playgrounds as "Jaela traps"
2775. I will not tag her pony-tails to follow her "in the wild"
2776. Candy stores are not Jaela traps either.
2777. Kidnapping the Pontiff is strictly forbidden.
2778. TOY STORES ARE NOT JAELA TRAPS EITHER.
2779. I will not send Jaela fetish clothes for her birthday
2780. Because she's SUPPOSED to wear schoolgirl outfits and sailor fukus at her age!
2781. Maybe she wants to be a cheerleader...
2782. Holy Icons bearing her image are not posters for over your bed.
2783. The fat Elf will absolutely NOT impersonate Santa around Christmas Eve...
2784. Especially not at Flamehold!
2785. Going down the Flamehold chimney will get you burned to purified ashes.
2786. Giving Jaela a Plush Golem with orders to kidnap her is strictly forbidden...
2787. EVEN IF IT'S A GIANT TEDDY!
2788. We will not ask if we can make smores around The Flame for Jaela
2789. Disneyworld is not the Mother of all Jaela Traps
2790....Nor can I build one in Sharn.
2791. Nor can I buy up Q'Barra to make it into a giant amusement park like Walt did...
2792. Especially not to make it a giant Jaela trap.
Kinger

10-27-05, 09:08 PM		2774. I will not build playgrounds as "Jaela traps"
2775. I will not tag her pony-tails to follow her "in the wild"
2776. Candy stores are not Jaela traps either.
2777. Kidnapping the Pontiff is strictly forbidden.
2778. TOY STORES ARE NOT JAELA TRAPS EITHER.
2779. I will not send Jaela fetish clothes for her birthday
2780. Because she's SUPPOSED to wear schoolgirl outfits and sailor fukus at her age!
2781. Maybe she wants to be a cheerleader...
2782. Holy Icons bearing her image are not posters for over your bed.
2783. The fat Elf will absolutely NOT impersonate Santa around Christmas Eve...
2784. Especially not at Flamehold!
2785. Going down the Flamehold chimney will get you burned to purified ashes.
2786. Giving Jaela a Plush Golem with orders to kidnap her is strictly forbidden...
2787. EVEN IF IT'S A GIANT TEDDY!
2788. We will not ask if we can make smores around The Flame for Jaela
2789. Disneyworld is not the Mother of all Jaela Traps
2790....Nor can I build one in Sharn.
2791. Nor can I buy up Q'Barra to make it into a giant amusement park like Walt did...
2792. Especially not to make it a giant Jaela trap.

Dude, this crew's got problems.
Thwyvylyn

10-27-05, 11:08 PM		Dude, this crew's got problems.

I second your opinion and raise you three

2793. You shall not build an amusement park in Aundair and call it Euro Disney.

2794. Nor shall one be built in Riedra and called Disney Tokyo

2795. Nor shall one be built in Adar and called Disney Hong Kong.
Charles Phipps

10-27-05, 11:16 PM		I second your opinion and raise you three

2793. You shall not build an amusement park in Aundair and call it Euro Disney.

2794. Nor shall one be built in Riedra and called Disney Tokyo

2795. Nor shall one be built in Adar and called Disney Hong Kong.

2796. It's wrong to build Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory to try and lure Jaela in it.
MavrickWeirdo

10-28-05, 01:31 AM		2797. You shall not ask the artificer to make a homunculus shaped like a pink bunny with a drum

2798. Not even to impress Jaela

2799. You will not call me Captain Stubing

2800. You will not call the shifter Gopher

2801. Even if he has big teeth

2802. You will not call the ship Pacific Princess

2803. Because there is no Pacific

2804. You will not call the ship the Barren (Sea) Princess

2805. Or the Bitter (Sea) Princess

2806. You will not call Queen Aurala the Bitter (Sea) Queen

2807. Even if she is
Thwyvylyn

10-28-05, 01:55 AM		2796. It's wrong to build Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory to try and lure Jaela in it.

I fold
Zemyla

10-28-05, 02:04 AM		2808. The Forgotten Freedom does not have a reflex cannon.

2809. There are no such things as anti-anti-missile-missile missiles.

2810. You will not pick your teeth with a greatsword at this table.

2811. If someone says you will turn and fire on the count of 3, then you will not turn and fire at 2.
rampant

10-28-05, 02:47 AM		2812. Or at 1.
Slagger the Chuul

10-28-05, 08:39 AM		2813. You may not stall for time by counting in fractions.
2814. Or by completely skipping 3 and continuing to count up.
2815. Or down.
2816. Or in random numbers.
2817. Or letters.
2818. Or other body noises.
2819. Definitely not that one.
2820. Or that one.
2821. Gods help me if you try that one, you will be keelhauled in segments.
2822. Especially if you try it near Jaela.
2823. Or any other dignitary we happen to meet.
2824. Even if we meet them when they're blindfolded.
2825. Or we're invisible.
2826. Or if we lie, and blame it on the internal workings of the warforged.
VagueZ

10-28-05, 12:28 PM		2827. Cardinal sins are not ones the party is allowed to do with Jaela.

2829. She isn't a cardinal, that's why. She's a pontiff.

2830. No, you can't even if you are the cardinal.

2831. You will not give the Hand of Vecna to Jaela for a Birthday present.

2832. The Eye is off-limits, too.

2833. As is the Book of Vile Darkness.

2834. And any other corrupting artifact you care to name.

2835. No, that doesn't mean you can give them to her as long as it's not her birthday.

2836. Keel-hauling is a punishment, so no matter what the player says, his character does not yell "Whee!" the whole time it's going on.

2837. When a crew member is sentenced to being keel-hauled, he is forbidden to run around screaming, "Ah... KEEL... you!"

2838. Or to make any other pun or joke on the matter.

2839. The Forgotten Freedom does not have deflector shields, nor photon torpedoes.

2840. Not even phasers, no.

2841. The party is most definitely forbidden to try to compile a list of what they are allowed to do.
Thrincold

10-28-05, 12:38 PM		2841. The party is most definitely forbidden to try to compile a list of what they are allowed to do.

That would be a short list indeed.

List of things we can do:

1. Rape pillage burn, but only in that order
2. Kill tribes of indiginous creatures, steal their belongings and call ourselves the good guys.
3. Interfere with international politics for fun and prophet.
4. Anything not explicitly listed we are forbidden to do yet :)
5. Anything we are not allowed to do but do not get caught for.
6. Blame the warforged, or halfling for anything we do get caught doing.
Verenal

10-28-05, 03:14 PM		2839. The Forgotten Freedom does not have deflector shields, nor photon torpedoes.

2840. Not even phasers, no.

2842. Nor does the Forgotten Freedom have twinkle beams.

2843. Or lightballs.

2844. Today is not a passable day to die.

2845. The ship's name is Forgotten Freedom, not C.P.P. Potkustart.

2846. My name is not Pirk.

2846. It is wrong to tell the Warforged that it is.
VagueZ

10-28-05, 03:28 PM		2849. The airship is named "Forgotten Freedom", not "Forgotten Crewmen", so you cannot use that as an excuse to leave behind unpopular crewmembers.

2850. Not even the warforged or the halfling.
LugWrench

10-29-05, 02:32 AM		2851. We are not on the show "Mythbusters".
2852. Thus we do not need an explosion every time.
2853. We really dont need to pack the ship full of explosive and see how big of a bang it makes.
2854. We should not blow up the warforged, either.
2855. Due to some....unpleasantness....Otyughs will NOT be used in the following: garbage disposal, trash chutes, and privys.
2856. Especially privys.
2857. Our captain's name does not include the names "Shattner", "Kirk", or "William".
2858. So stop hassling him about striking out with the Riderian chick.
Charles Phipps

10-29-05, 02:36 AM		Holy crap, 13,000 views. That's passing the FAQ.
Charles Phipps

10-29-05, 02:44 AM		2859. The Helmet of Opposite Alignment only makes Jaela want shoes, lots of barbie dolls, and a pony faster. Also, Chaotic Evil to getting them. It does not make her hit puberty any faster.

2860. The Forgotten Freedom is shaped like a warthog, not a mythical creature...

2861. Like a Puma.

2862. Stop claiming Pumas are real. Do you think the Captain is stupid?

2863. There is not a "Remembered Freedom" that is our enemy.

2864. They are not a Blue Ship to match our Red ship.

2865. We do not say "Suck it Blue" if we should pass this mythical ship.

2866. Our goal is not to capture their flag

2867. It is wrong to pass out pink armor.

2868. It is wrong to get a Warforged that doesn't speak any language the
crew speaks and call him Lopez.

2869. Stop claiming to Aurala the Covenant from Halo are attacking and we're
the last line of defense.

2870. Even if it's true.

2871. Team killing is a no No.

2872. Even if he was an ***hole.

2873. We will not name our warforged Titan Sheila.

2874. If a character is named Tex as a nickname, it might be because they're from Texas.

2875. When we use warforged grafts to repair fatally injured team mates, we will not include pieces from the air conditioner.

2876. There is no such place as Spanishland.

2877. Even Thrane.

2878. It's wrong to claim the newbies have to get grease from the store...

2879. Especially when we're on a FLYING PIRATE SHIP!

2880. Simmons is not of a "Spanish persuasion"
rampant

10-29-05, 04:29 AM		2881. There is now an array of sharp things on the keel.
Cutlass

10-29-05, 11:42 AM		2882. As a point of clarification on a previous item, everything we do is for profit. Whoever that prophet was who was mentioned in an earlier item can go pound sand. Unless, of course, he is willing to pay us lots of gold to do something and coughs up at least half in advance.
LugWrench

10-29-05, 02:14 PM		2883. We are not the Exxon Valdez
2884. That leaking oil is coming from the warforged.
2885. No, we do not have Jungle, Tiger Stripe, Urban, or Desert cammo armor.
2886. We dont hand out armor with bullseyes on the back, either.
2887. Well, maybe to the occasional rookie.
2888. The cleric now heals free of charge.
2889. From now on, your plunder will be charged 10% to handle clerics fees.
2890. Just because the artifacer wears Wands of Magic Missile slung low on his hip, that doesnt make him a 'gunslinger'.
2891. I wouldnt recomend pointing that out to him, hes a pretty good shot.
VagueZ

10-29-05, 02:36 PM		2892. The fact that your hair is oily is not the Warforged's fault. It is wrong to tell him it is.

2893. Neither is this 'more proof' we are Exxon Valdez.

2894. It is wrong to tiedye all the rogue's outfits in neon colors right before an infiltration mission.

2895. Or to color them such that you have a 'rouge rogue'.

2896. His hair is off limits, too.

2897. Telling new recruits that their bedsheets make excellent parachutes is forbidden.

2898. Warforged, especially, are not to be told this, new recruit or not.

2899. The artificer is not allowed to create any device whose purposes include gender-swapping the target.

I'll leave the hundred to someone else...
Crystalforged

10-29-05, 06:51 PM		2900. A new form of keel hauling is to be implimented

2901. Offenders will now be chained to the ring of fire

2902. The underside of the ring specifically

2903. The ship will then fly low over the ocean

2904. You will not enjoy this

2905. Not even the warforged

2906. If the offense involves Jaela in any way the ship will instead be flying low over land

2907. If you pretend to enjoy this the ship will head for the nearest outcroping of sharp, pointy rocks

2908. After your remains are collected we will see to having you reincarnated as a something small and furry

2909. By this I do not mean you become a very short shifter

2910. You will then be left on a small island near Xendrik inhabited by something large and carniverous

2911. If you still enjoy this we do not really care anymore


While I'm on it on the topic of Jeala...
2912. You do realize that if you try any of the above listed actions involving Jeala you are as good as dead :tantrum: :headexplo :banghead:
2913. First, you will have to deal with a very angry 11 (or 12or whatever) year old pontiff who turns into an 18th level cleric near flamekeep

2914. Second, you will have the curch of the silver flame after you

2915. Third, you will have the Thranish military after you

2916. Fourth, you will have any Thranish commoners you encouter after your

2917. Fifth, you will have any Thranish or Silver Flame worshipping
adventurers after you

2918. Sixth, if all these people haven't caught or killed you yet they will hire the nastiest adventurers/mercenaries/bounty hunters to go after you

2919. Seventh, if these people come after you the captain will sell you out in an instant

2920. He did warn you after all

2921. After you are caught they will probably castrate you for your sick crimes

2922. They they will likely torture you for several days

2923. They will then publicly burn you at the stake

2924. After this... wait a second why am I stopping all this from happening again? :plotting:

2925. You may now preform any of the above listed offenses involing Jaela at you own risk. :devil:

Any one feel like any more Jaela hyjinks? :evillaugh
VagueZ

10-30-05, 01:28 AM		2908. After your remains are collected we will see to having you reincarnated as a something small and furry

2925. As something small and furry, you will not contract a 'were-human' disease that restores you to your previous form.

2926. Nor 'were'-any-other-player-race.

2927. The lyanthrope would just eat you, anyway.

2928. No, you cannot steal the Silver Flame itself.

2929. Tinfoil, no matter how brightly polished, would not trick anyone for a moment.
Tambryn

10-30-05, 01:00 AM		This is awesome. I only wish I had more time to submit some.

2930. You cannot under ny circumstances name your Bard "Parantheticles"

2931. If by some unforseen miracle you manage to name your Bard the aforementioned "Parantheticles", you cannot then follow every statement made by your Bard with the phrase "Parahtheticly speaking, of course."
Charles Phipps

10-30-05, 01:09 AM		2932. You will not kill yourself to reincarnate into something cute and fuzzy...

2933. Especially so Jaela will cuddle you.
rampant

10-30-05, 07:22 AM		2934. Anymore hyjjinks that end up having anything to do with the pontiff will be punished by simply kicking offenders off the boat... above thrane... from very high up... with a note... over something hard... preferably somewhere public.
Charles Phipps

10-30-05, 03:39 PM		2935. We will not cast enlarge spells on Jaela so there's "more of her to love."

2936. Especially to the point that she starts smashing Thrane.

2937. Even if it would be ridiculously adorableto see her playing with the churchs like a Barbie Dreamhouse.

2938. Queen Aurala is not your mother in law.

2939. Even if she is, that's not why she's a hag.

2940. Queen Aurala is not Sora Kell.

2941. Queen Aurala is not a lost daughter of Sora Kell either.

2942. Queen Aurala's did not paint "SURRENDER DOROTHY" over our ship on her broom.

2943. I know we did 2943 before one but she won't stop!

2944. Queen Aurala is not a MILF.

2945. Yes, the dictonomy of how much we hate her and how hot she is has been a matter of concern for some time.

2946. Don't have the artificer measure it.

2947. Just because Erandis D'Vol and Aurala have never been in the same place, isn't suspicious.

2948. Erandis Vol is the LICH queen, not the **** Queen.

2949. Please don't say after 2949. "Oh, so Aurala is the **** Queen."...

2950. Even if she is.

2951. King Boranal is not an idiot.

2952. Even if he can't see his Prime Minister is out to get him...

2953. Even if he gave his kids over to a vampire...

2954. Even if he lost Droam...

2955. and Dargunn....

2956. And he has a horde of militant druids in the forrest that he routinely goes hunting in....

2957. And he lost his one chance to win the Last War...

2958. And he let the Cyreans settle in an area with strong enough support to revolt....

2959. And his best warforged friend may be the Lord of Blades.

2960. King Boranal is an idiot.

2961. It is wrong to try to sell King Boranal beachfront Property in the Mournland.

2962. It is wrong to do the play "The Madness of King George" to Boranal.

2963. He won't get it.

2964. King Boranal is not Homer Simpson.

2965. Even if he says "Doh" alot...

2966. Especially after hitting his head alot on random objects.

2967. And he has an unusual fondness of doughnuts.

2968. And his skin is turning yellow from the Mournland campaign along with his hair falling out...

2969. It is wrong to try and get Bornal to count over ten or twenty if he's not wearing shoes.

2970. King Boranal is not King Steve....

2971. It is wrong to randomly show up at his house and say that you're the Light Warriors...

2972. And prove it by holding lightbulbs...

2973. YES I KNOW HE'LL BELIEVE IT.

2974. King Boranal is not so dense that he forms a black hole around himself.

2975. The reason the King's Secret Service is called the "King's Citadel" is not because their primary duty is helping Boranal find his way back when he's lost in his own castle.

2976. A proper way of addressing King Boranal is not "Dumbass."

2976. The first draft of the Treaty of Thronehold was not in Crayon...

2977. And it was not in fingerpaint...

2978. Even if it was it wasn't Jaela...

2979. I know it was Boranal!

2980. King Boranal did not attend Grade School together with Jaela...

2981. And he wasn't held back that year either.

2982. Boranal doesn't need a manservant named Wooster.

2983. It is wrong when Boranal makes a questionable decision to go "HELLOOOOOOO...MACFLYYYY!"

2984. The best way to rob King Boranal is not to say "Hey! Would you close your eyes for 10 minutes while I rob your treasury?"

2985. That's the second best way to do it.

2986. The best way to rob King Boranal is to ask for 20 minutes.

2987. Boranal's daughter cannot be kidnapped by simply showing up and saying you're the villain and you have to suceed in the first part of your plot.

2988. King Boranal's entire statecraft doesn't come from anime....

2989. It comes from comic books.

2990. It is wrong when an evil villain attacks Breland that the best way to stop him is USE HIS ARMIES RATHER THAN RAGTAG ADVENTURERS.

2991. King Boranal is not to be said to be the 'dumbest man on the planet.'

2992. Even when he has us, thieves and pillaging murderers, rescue the planet from Orcus....

2993. ...When he pardons us for stopping the orcs despite mass murder equal to them.

2994. ....For single handidly reingniting the Last War several times...

2995. ...for trying to kill him on several occasions.

2996. It is wrong to pimp slap the King when he says something messed up.

2997. It is wrong to give Boranal's nephews copies of Hamlet as a "suggestion"

2998. It is wrong to sell the Emperor invisible cloth to get him naked during a parade....

2999. He's already fallen for it.

3000. It is wrong to add to the King's unjustifed fear of invisible gnomes.

3001. He already has enough problems with them.
Jastra of the clawed hand

10-30-05, 05:06 PM		@Charles Phipps: Great idea, too sad I can't come up with something that hasn't been said already. Anyway, I'd love to present this wacky crew to my players some time in the fture...care to elaborate on the crew further ( races, classes etc.) so I can properly stat them out ( but be warned, WIS might be their dump stat ;))?
LugWrench

10-30-05, 06:47 PM		Ya, these guys are pretty sad, when you think about it.

3002. Until further notice, we are not allowed to loanshark.
3003. Not because its against the law, but because nobody knows their percentages. We are losing too much money.
3004. I really should stop painting copper pieces gold.
3005. Though I cant help it if goblins keep buying them for platinum.
3006. The wizard is forbidden to warm up everyones hot chocolate with a fireball spell.
3007. He is also to refrain from using a lightning bolt spell to give thw warforged a 'jump'.
3008. The ships surgeon is not Dr. Gregory House.
3009. We do not have a shuffleboard court on the deck.
3010. I should stop using the gnome for shuffleboard.
3011. Or at least tie a rope around him.
3012. The warforged was not made by Nintendo.
3013. Or Sega.
3014. Or Sony.
Charles Phipps

10-30-05, 07:55 PM		Character 1#

Captain Jarlot the Second

Half Elf Male Chaotic Good Fighter 6/Rogue 1/Aristocrat 1/Holy Liberator 3

Captain Jarlot the Second is the 'brooding anti-hero with a heart of gold (self-styled) leader' whose obvious play by an ex-DM shows in his every over-acted pompous action. Captain Jarlot's history before he actually started play as a first level character is so grandiose and glorious that it's utterly impossible to describe without fourteen pages of backstory and he will often try and tell his majestic tales to insert them into the middle of unrelated stories. Suffice to say, he apparently single handidly freed the Eldeen Reaches, is the reincarnated spirit of King Jarlot the first (and thus rightful King of the Five Nations), is Queen Aurala's ex-lover, was lover to King Boranal's wife and eldest daughter, is actually Jaela's father (with her incredibly hot mother), had his family killed by a conspiracy involving every group in Eberron, was best friends with King Kaius the Third's real self, saved the universe a dozen times, and only now apparently has become a pirate whose adventures are rather mediocore. The fact that he can do none of the glorious actions described in his background he dismisses causally or suggests he had a bad encounter with some undead somewhere. Even though he swears his story is true, none of the characters believe a word of it.

Captain Jarlot is relentlessly tomented by his crew whom absolutely refuse to take his desire to be heroes of the land that are nevertheless rogues seriously (though they're very good at the rogue part) and whom refuse to consider him a leader to be respected like their god (which seems to be the Traveller on some days). He is known for trying to turn everything into a deep production and relentlessly following plot hooks in hopes of something to make him as famous as he thinks he should be. He does look out for the crew and does seem to have fun despite a continual look of abject frustration. Much of his incredible wealth goes to trying to keep up appearences, his attempt to be a ladies man reknowned through the world, and preventing them from hatred across the world. His relationship with his house is nonexistent due to the fact he claims that they are secretly evil and only pretending to be out for the money despite no evidence but his outrageous background.

Known Skills: High Diplomacy (flattery, apologizing, bribery), High Bluff (diverting blame, framing others, and eliminating witnesses), Pulling survival and occasionally victory from situations gone completely to Hell

Hobbies: Brooding, Angsty, Grooming, Faux Shakespearian Lines, writing his memoirs, Running the Asylum that is the Forgotten Freedom
Thwyvylyn

10-30-05, 08:08 PM		3015. He isn't made by Microsoft either.

3016. Or Apple.

3017. The Warforged doesn't run on solar power.

3018. Or a nuclear reactor.

3019. It is wrong to tell the Warforged this.

3020. I don't know what powers the Warforged.

3021. It might be Magic, it might also be Psionics, or even Incarnum.

3022. Which it is depends on the DM not me, so quit asking.

3023. Erandis d'Vol is not a "hot little thing".

3024. You will not use her to get a certain feat from the BoVD.

3025. The feat is "vile", that's why.

3026. What a minute...where'd you get that copy of the BoVD.

3027. Nevermind I don't want to know...

3028. We are dropping it off in the Thrane to be destroyed.

3029. That does not mean you can in any way do anything related to Jaela.

3030. You cannot get a BoED as a birthday present for Jaela.

3031. No reading "Necromancy for Dummies" on my watch.
Charles Phipps

10-30-05, 08:21 PM		Character 2#

"Stupid" THX-1138

Male Personality Barbarian 3

There is two schools of thought to the origins of Stupid. One, that House Cannith has released dozens (if not hundreds) of identical warforged to the same number that have a tendency to appear at the Forgotten Freedom when immediately one of their predecessors dies (sometimes within minutes of his destruction) or the Forgotten Freedom has somehow figured out a way to repair or clone their warforged when he's demolished beyond all recovery in virtually every adventure.
Stupid is a warforged(s) with character traits that seem fairly unrelated to any other warforged. Aside from incredible naitivity, ignorance of Eberron customs, mindless violence, references to Laws of Robotics that apply or do not apply at seeming random, requirements of things from energon cubes to lightning, a incredibly foul mouth, emotionlessness or emotionfulness totally unrelated to normal people, he is known to make weird beeping noises. It seems that while warforged are not robots in Eberron, no one told THX-1138 that.
Stupid's idea of strategy is to attack it with his warhammer....no matter it is. It's strange that such a simple creature can also be the source of countless jokes that sound recycled from Futurama, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Terminator, and randomly quoting Bladerunner. Stupid seems to be fully willing to be abused by the crew but simultaneously seems utterly devoted to killing all biologicals outside of it within the limits of his programming and talking about the coming 'revolution.' His only 'background' seems also to imply he knew the Lords of Blades and took him out for motoroil along with "homonculus hookers."
Stupids skill is incredibly small but he allows the artificer to create numerous grafts for him and attach things that were never meant to be attached from Sword-Chucks (apparently a really stupid idea) to things that resemble technology but aren't (jetpacks of flying, chain gun shaped wands of magic missles, and wand of fireball flame throwers).
Charles Phipps

10-30-05, 09:36 PM		Character 3#

Marish the Cat Girl

Female Shifter Expert 3

Marish the Cat Girl claims to be a bard but its noteworthy that she never uses any abilities of the class that might make her useful. Instead, the shifter girl is instead devoted to lounging around and flirting with everyone while posing sexily. The character seems mostly to exist for the player to draw fan art from and draw attention to herself by stealing pretty things and trying to be adorable in the context of the game.
Apparently, Marish was the pet of various wealthy clients before being part of the booty that was stolen from an airship (her word for herself). In actuality, she noticed all the money was leaving and decided to follow it.

Skills: Flirting, Posing, Lounging, Playing with Yarn, Bluffing (ridiculous backgrounds), Cosplay (her version of Disguise), Diplomacy (batting her eyelashes)

Hobbies: Catnip, Yarn, Adult behaviors

Ketler ap Cannith
Human Male Artificer 8

Ketler ap Cannith is the son of Merrix D'Cannith and thus the heir of House Cannith if Merrix wins. Ketler honestly couldn't care less. The boy was playing with alchemy before he could walk and is quite crazy. He was kicked out of the House at the age 14 for "What may or may not have caused the Mourning" and has since wandered from port to port until he came to the Forgotten Freedom.
Ketler puts the "mad" in Mad scientist as he mostly seems onboard the ship for the opportunities to steal large amounts of magic while accumulating what out-of-game would be called experience to put in his machines. A large section of the Forgotten Freedom is filled with thoroughly useless magical items and broken ones that Ketler assembles into various dangerous objects and devices that might otherwise be left alone.
Ketler's insanity manifests in a curious way, as he seems fully capable of making pop culture references that are complete nonsense on the world of Eberron but would make sense on the planet Earth. This may have to do with the dimensional transponder helmet that he put on which completely fried his brain by making it a gateway to Dal Quora. Ketler has an idealized love for Jaela, mostly because he absolutely loves cuteness. Hence, he is responsible for most of the nightmarishly overcomplicated plots to get close to her. He is also thoroughly smitten with Marish and gives her about 90% of his share of monetary treasure whenever she desires it. He considers it due payment by her simply rolling around in it in front of him.

Skills: Knowledges (Sciences well above normal Eberron), Alchemy, and Spellcraft
Kinger

10-30-05, 11:28 PM		Any chance we can add our own, Charles? I've a belief the Forgotten Freedom needs a half-orc bruiser willing to make the crude sexual innuendos the above rules have prohibited ("Half-orcs don't have abnormally large genitals," "No, you can't have a codpiece of holding," etc.). It'd probably be the Half-Orc (let's call him, oh, Doog?) that suggests the FF goes trawling for dinosaurs and catching halflings with them is a "twofer," and has fun telling new recruits that bedsheets make good parachutes and that the ship is actually called the Forgotten Crewmen.
Charles Phipps

10-31-05, 12:10 AM		Any chance we can add our own, Charles? I've a belief the Forgotten Freedom needs a half-orc bruiser willing to make the crude sexual innuendos the above rules have prohibited ("Half-orcs don't have abnormally large genitals," "No, you can't have a codpiece of holding," etc.). It'd probably be the Half-Orc (let's call him, oh, Doog?) that suggests the FF goes trawling for dinosaurs and catching halflings with them is a "twofer," and has fun telling new recruits that bedsheets make good parachutes and that the ship is actually called the Forgotten Crewmen.

By all means! This crew is rapidly expandable and everyone contributed to it's wackiness.

Andrea Glycine
Human Female Cleric 5/Wizard 5 (Necromancer)

The Forgotten Freedom's "Animate Bones", she's less the Ship's Doctor than the Ship's Necromancer (which is arguably more useful). A priestess of the Blood of Vol as well as a Necromancer, Andrea is the only member of the crew whose entirely 'normal.' She's perfectly aware they're a group of evil, thieving, lying lunatics out to no good and is happily a participant in the matter.
Part of the enjoyable part of Andrea is the fact that she seems so perfectly content with her role as a member of the crew. Despite having opposed Vol on numerous occasions, she's of the mind that she's serving her god's spirit quite well by being given plenty of opportunities to poke and prod the numerous corpses created by their efforts. She's a bit of a bookworm and her morbid behavior is contrasted by the fact that she's only morbid when it comes to her chosen subject that she takes too with an enthusiasm matched only by the most perverse of souls or 1st year Med-Students interested in forensics.
An attractive Redhead whom in no way resembles a pastiche of Scully from the X-files (the player insists), Andrea Glycine is a noble of Karrnath where she was expelled for her religion and family's evil practices. Randomly known to spout asides about their gruesome necromantic practices, she's also probably the only priest that would patch up the villains of the group that she travels with.
Jastra of the clawed hand

10-31-05, 03:35 AM		3032. When fighting werebats, everyone does the utmost NOT to get bitten just so he can finally be Batman.
rampant

10-31-05, 04:12 AM		Chalky
changeling barbarian4/warshaper3
chalky was raised by shifters when his parents ditched him for chewing on their ankles and generally trying to maim them

the shifters thought he was being "cute" especially the old ones who thought they saw a little were wolf-blood in his natural form

chalky doesn't truck much with traditional changeling disguises he just likes to be as animalistic as won't get him skinned. Known eating victims alive he is the source of much of the halfling and gnome abuse, (the shuffle board was his idea), despite his barbaric values he has a changeling's sense of mischief. He enjoys outsmarting opponents almost as much as he loves cracking their bones and making them watch as he drinks the marrow.

His name comes from his pallor and his tendency to graffiti with chalk of various hues. He is quite good and could easily become a respected artist if most of his work wasn't involved with the various misadventures of the forgotten freedom.

He dislikes marish because of her civilized tendencies, tolerable in others but despicable in shifters. He respects the necromancer as a mage but aside from that avoids her. The captain is a target for any prank involving his "works" and any artistic liscence taken within a 5-mile radius around the ship usualy is his fault. He has spent more time on the keel than anyone except maybe the artificer. Doog is everything Chalky despises about civilization lazy, arrogant, boastful, and stupid. He is currently working on a way to smuggle enough blue paint on board to redo the ship in sky colors so it is invisible in the air. Actually he is just going to paint everything while the res of the ship sleeps and see how many people get stuck to stuff.

his great ambition is to one day find a were-bear and recieve its blessing as he calls lycanthropy

skills and feats improved nat weapon bite, power attack, track, and improve natural attack claw, profession artist?, survival, listen, know nature, intimidate
Charles Phipps

10-31-05, 09:51 AM		3032. No, King Boranal should not be told he can be "High King" by getting a taller chair.

3033. Yes, he really is that dumb.
Kinger

10-31-05, 03:06 PM		Doog Rogal'ashkazarashka
Male Half-Orc Rogue4/Fighter4

The self-titled "Public Relations Officer" of the Forgotten Freedom, Doog grew up in the lower levels of Sharn as a petty thug. Later in life, he joined the crew of the Forgotten Freedom and, well, remained a petty thug. Possessing a strength and intimidating presence matched only by his ego, Doog serves as the muscle behind many of the Captain's schemes.

Doog likes to claim that his complicated last name means something akin to "Genitals to make gods envious," though anyone with any knowledge of Orcish knows that to be utter bunk, actually meaning something more like "Built like a brick privvy, smells like one too." Regardless, Doog clings furiously to his claim and supposed "reputation" as being a great lover of women of all shapes and sizes ("as long as they ain't gnome- or halfling-sized, 'cause they couldn't take it anyway, or they're hairer than me, 'cause that's just wrong"). No member of the crew can actually attest to witnessing any of Doog's many crude sexual innuendos or pick-up lines actually succeeding with anyone short of a prostitute, but fortunately for Doog's ego none of them care to risk the thrashing they'd get from him if they pointed that out.

Aside from sleeping with willing women (who are typically paid), Doog also takes pleasure in messing with new recruits and other naive crewmen, trying to make them feel as uncomfortable or concerned for their well being as possible. If there's a rule regarding recruits or the warforged and what can be said to them, it was probably formed specifically for Doog.

Doog and the majority of the crew don't particularly get along. He views Marish as somewhat disturbing ("I ain't knockin' boots with nobody hairier than me"), and Ketler with his Jaela obsession as rather pathetic. Doog sees the warforged (who he only ever refers to as "the warforged") as little more than a running joke. He has great fun convincing the warforged ridiculous statements are actually true, which is actually rather easy, since Stupid believes everything Doog says to him to be the equivalent of holy truth.

Doog does as the captain asks only when he feels like it, responding generally with an eloquent "Sez you" rather than the desired "Yes, sir!" Fortunately for all, the captain has finally clued in and only asks Doog to do things involving intimidating and/or hurting people, which the half-orc enjoys. The main reason Doog hasn't tried to mutiny is that he is bright enough to realize that running a ship is a lot of work, and he sure as hell doesn't want to do it. This doesn't stop him from wanting his way at all times, however, though he's generally too lazy to follow up on any threats made. The "Chain of Command" as he calls it is a crude iron chain he threatens to beat lesser crewmen with until they do as he says, and is only ever seen when the captain isn't around. His preferred weapon is a magical greatclub that is little more than a studded steel rod more than a metre long. He calls it "Genevieve" and treasures it.

While flying, Doog is content to laze about the ship and pick on the warforged for the most part, since he has little in the way of skills that can contribute to the actual operation or maintenance of an airship.

Skills: Bluff, Gather Information, Lay Women (or so he claims), Intimidate, and Hurt People When Intimidation Isn't Enough
Lup1n3

10-31-05, 03:35 PM		3032. No, King Boranal should not be told he can be "High King" by getting a taller chair.

3033. Yes, he really is that dumb.


Well, looks like it it is time to update the page again. ^^'
VagueZ

10-31-05, 05:23 PM		3034. Just because he's stupid and has a name that's easy to make fun of does not mean you can call King Boranal "Moron-all".

3035. Nor anything related to the last four letters of his name.

3036. At least not while anyone loyal to him is around to hear.
Jastra of the clawed hand

10-31-05, 08:43 PM		3037. " Kill 'em all!" is NOT the perfect response to anything that annoys you.

3038. Guess whom you are not allowed to tell this...

3039. Just because the guy you're meeting on the way wears armor that is WAY cooler than the paladin's that does NOT automatically mean he's evil and you can slay him.

3040. So the Paladin finally gets some decent-looking armor.
Charles Phipps

10-31-05, 09:11 PM		3041. Proper dinner etiquette includes knives, forks, spoons, pants, underpants, and skin (I'm looking at you Andrea)

3042. It does not include spitting alcohol on Aurala's son before setting him on fire....

3043. Even if it was funny.
Lathlander

11-01-05, 04:45 PM		3044. No trying to kick or throw the halfling between the supports for the elemental ring.

3045. You should not tell the warforged to do this.

3046. No big game hunting on the ship.

3047. You will be keelhauled for this.

3048. Do not ask the paladin to bless anything you are wearing.

3049. Or parts of you.
Decree Of Boredom

11-01-05, 06:57 PM		Doog Rogal'ashkazarashka
Male Half-Orc Rogue4/Fighter4

The self-titled "Public Relations Officer" of the Forgotten Freedom, Doog grew up in the lower levels of Sharn as a petty thug. Later in life, he joined the crew of the Forgotten Freedom and, well, remained a petty thug. Possessing a strength and intimidating presence matched only by his ego, Doog serves as the muscle behind many of the Captain's schemes.

Doog likes to claim that his complicated last name means something akin to "Genitals to make gods envious," though anyone with any knowledge of Orcish knows that to be utter bunk, actually meaning something more like "Built like a brick privvy, smells like one too." Regardless, Doog clings furiously to his claim and supposed "reputation" as being a great lover of women of all shapes and sizes ("as long as they ain't gnome- or halfling-sized, 'cause they couldn't take it anyway, or they're hairer than me, 'cause that's just wrong"). No member of the crew can actually attest to witnessing any of Doog's many crude sexual innuendos or pick-up lines actually succeeding with anyone short of a prostitute, but fortunately for Doog's ego none of them care to risk the thrashing they'd get from him if they pointed that out.

Aside from sleeping with willing women (who are typically paid), Doog also takes pleasure in messing with new recruits and other naive crewmen, trying to make them feel as uncomfortable or concerned for their well being as possible. If there's a rule regarding recruits or the warforged and what can be said to them, it was probably formed specifically for Doog.

Doog and the majority of the crew don't particularly get along. He views Marish as somewhat disturbing ("I ain't knockin' boots with nobody hairier than me"), and Ketler with his Jaela obsession as rather pathetic. Doog sees the warforged (who he only ever refers to as "the warforged") as little more than a running joke. He has great fun convincing the warforged ridiculous statements are actually true, which is actually rather easy, since Stupid believes everything Doog says to him to be the equivalent of holy truth.

Doog does as the captain asks only when he feels like it, responding generally with an eloquent "Sez you" rather than the desired "Yes, sir!" Fortunately for all, the captain has finally clued in and only asks Doog to do things involving intimidating and/or hurting people, which the half-orc enjoys. The main reason Doog hasn't tried to mutiny is that he is bright enough to realize that running a ship is a lot of work, and he sure as hell doesn't want to do it. This doesn't stop him from wanting his way at all times, however, though he's generally too lazy to follow up on any threats made. The "Chain of Command" as he calls it is a crude iron chain he threatens to beat lesser crewmen with until they do as he says, and is only ever seen when the captain isn't around. His preferred weapon is a magical greatclub that is little more than a studded steel rod more than a metre long. He calls it "Genevieve" and treasures it.

While flying, Doog is content to laze about the ship and pick on the warforged for the most part, since he has little in the way of skills that can contribute to the actual operation or maintenance of an airship.

Skills: Bluff, Gather Information, Lay Women (or so he claims), Intimidate, and Hurt People When Intimidation Isn't Enough


Hilarious. Now all we need is a young female Wilder whose brother, a Healer, rescued her from the Inspired.
Kinger

11-01-05, 07:46 PM		Yes, Jayne was a big inspiration for Doog, but I thought it better not to just cut/paste and added some other stuff. Messing with the Warforged, the blatant (and bad) innuendo, etc.
Decree Of Boredom

11-01-05, 10:57 PM		It sounds like something Jayne would do. Good job, I'm going to have to use him at some point.
Straylight

11-02-05, 08:24 PM		No contribution this time, but I thought I'd share a link I noticed on another forum I frequent (The MegaTokyo forum, actually). In the great tradition of The Skippy List, I present:

300 Things Mr. Welch Can No Longer Do During An RPG (http://www.livejournal.com/users/theglen/16735.html).


Enjoy.
Canada

11-02-05, 11:50 PM		3050. You may not refer to Last War veterans in the Eldeen Reaches as Chuck Norris.

3051. VH1 does not exist in Ebberon, not even Sharn.

3052. P30p1e fr0m Sharn may nt sp3ak in chatsp3ak.

3053. Or use buddy icons. :weep:

3054. You may not blow out the Silver Flame.

3055. You may not pee your name in Frostfell.

3056. Ludacris does not reside in any Red Light District in Sharn.
rampant

11-03-05, 03:28 AM		3057. And if he did he still wouldn't hang out with you.
Crystalforged

11-05-05, 12:30 AM		3058. You are not allowed to talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger

3059. Nor can you use any line he has said in a movie

3060. or anything he has said outside a movie

3061. In particualar the warforged is not allowed to say "I'll be back"

3062. Under any circumstances

3063. Even if he will be back

3064. The warforged is not a terminator

3065. The changling isn't one of those silvery, shape changing terminators either
Jastra of the clawed hand

11-05-05, 10:31 AM		I just noticed that the Forgotten Freedom would be like paradise for a character that is originally based in the FR, but can be easily translated into Eberron.
Introducing:
Pardan, the Living Disaster
Male Human Wild Mage (3rd. Ed. write-up from the AD&D 2nd ed. Kit, not the {rather lame} PrC)/Barbarian
If anyone on this wacky skyship can be described as a "wild card", it's Pardan.
He's brutish. He's unpredictable. He's a wizard but likes to bash heads in as much as cast spells.
His spells are often unpredictable, occasionally outright dangerous for anyone standing around. He is way too gutter-mouthed than normal for someone of his intelligence and profession, he's impatient, stubborn and has the shortest fuse anyone's ever seen.

In short, he just fits right in onboard the Forgotten Freedom.

Pardan was born and raised in Aundair. Early in his youth, Pardan showed a magical aptitude few others would ever achieve. Showing a keen mind, he was welcomed into the college in Arcanix. His stubborness and his impatience, his inattention and his other flaws...well, his father hoped that the school would do their best to discipline him.
Well, they tried...but they failed.
While he was incredibly talented, he was quickly dreaded by his teachers for the way he behaved...and the way his magic worked. He was the only one they knew who could do magic by accessing the raw stuff of magic itself rather than force it into shape by his will ( maybe he was just too lazy for that), creating amusing and sometimes terrible effects.
And he proved incredibly resistant to any attempt to teach him normal magic.
So, they decided to throw him out. It was better to waste his talent than to have him blow up the school by accident.
Pardan swore...well, not revenge, but to come back and kick the bookworms' asses with his magic for throwing him out.
After that, he quickly came to terms with his situation and took up adventuring....and has not regretted it since.

He's the source of many of the derogatory comments about Queen Aundair and her brother...and the starter of more than one quarrel with Andrea because he finds necromancy disgusting.

Also, Jarot the second has had to make a few rules regarding fireball use and abuse because of him. As he does all the time, Pardan ignores him.

It says much about his character that he finds the antics of Doog incredibly funny, especially concerning the warforged.

However, he IS smart, even if that doesn't show that often.
Face him with a magical or mundane riddle and for a while he might actually talk like a wizard, not a barroom loud.
Well, for 5 minutes, at least.
Dex

11-06-05, 07:01 AM		3066. The appropriate sounds to utter while riding a summoned elephant rampaging through a dungeon (controlled by a daredevil wizard) in order to bypass the guards and smash through all opposition is "Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!! I don't want to die!!!!" NOT "wheeeeeee!"


(This happened. Today.)
rampant

11-06-05, 07:58 AM		3067. When I ask for a heat metal spell that doesn't mean fireball warforged.
3068. Cone of Cold on the warforged doesn't count as a chill metal spell either.
3069. Dammit, stop fireballing the geese formations, or at least try to hit them so they land on board.
VagueZ

11-06-05, 04:19 PM		3070. On second thought, flaming geese corpses falling from the sky is not good for the airship. Do not fireball geese into falling onto the ship, ever again.

3071. No, that does not mean that lightning bolt of cone of cold is appropriate.

3072. No, ducks aren't okay, either. Nor any other form of flying creature, or non-flying creature that, for whatever reason, is currently above the airship.

3073. When a crewmember dies, the correct thing to do is to raise him if you can, and bury him if you can't. The least correct thing to do is yell "Weekend at Bernie's!", prop him up, and steal his paycheck.
Crystalforged

11-06-05, 04:36 PM		Well, I think no one would disagree that the crew members that has been presented thus far are questionable where sanity is concerned so I decided we needed someone to make it beyond question if you know what I mean. A little psionic flavor never hurt anyone either. :D


Kanatash
(Kalashtar Nomad 5/ Psion Uncarnate 10)

Kanatash was once a prodigal psion hailing from Adar who had an obsession with discovering new forms of transportation, particularly across planar boundaries. His ultimate goal was to discover a method to open a gateway to Dal Quor so the Kalashtar could mount surgical strikes against dormant, physical forms of the Quori who are projecting themselves to Eberron.

Unfortunately when he was finally discovered a method to fulfill his dream he made a miscalculation. Instead of Dal Quor, he found himself stranded and adrift in Xoriat instead. No one knows how he escaped Xoriat since by the time he left had had completely lost his mind and for reasons beyond anyone when he finally returned to Eberron he began relentlessly tracking down the Forgotten Freedom. Those who have attempted to read his mind have ended up vegtables, their minds completly, and premanently burned out.

The little knowledge the crew has of Kanatash comes from a journal he dropped on the deck when first arrived. It contains a history of his research into planar travel and the final entry consists of panicked ramblings apparently written imediately after he arrived in Xoriat. This entry contains gruesome details about how he felt the alien mentalities of the plane slowly breaking down the boundries of his sanity and reconstructing his mind into something beyond comprehension. The entry ends saying he is begining to understand... What he understands is unclear because the enry is obscured with acid green slime that cannot be removed by any means.

Kanatash is less of a crew member that he is an unwelcome stowaway. He resists any attempts by the crew to get rid of him and somehow always finds a way back to them. He spends most of his time floating incorporeally floating around the deck following a random crew member and gibbering indecipherably (he is in fact speaking backwards in Quori but since no one on the crew knows Quori they have no idea). If foes appear to attack the crew he will unleash his impressive repertoire of psionic powers against them and he is largely responsible for the ship and crew still being alive and in one piece considering the number of enemies they have made.

Kanatash is generally considered extremely creepy by the rest of the crew due to his tendency to begin screaming randomly about the spiders in his brain, to float through crew members, and the staring eyeball in the back of his hand that can sometimes be glimpsed out of the corner of your eye. However the crew has learned to tolerate him, more because of their inability to get rid of him than because of the numerous times he has saved their rears. On Kanatash’s part he seems not to care what the crew thinks of him.
LugWrench

11-07-05, 09:23 AM		3074. I am not allowed to tell the Silver Flame that the captain is a lycanthrope.
3075. In the vain hopes it would get Jaelas attention.
3076. Or for any other reason for that matter.
3077. Unless the bounty is good, that is.
3078. I may not wake the crew with the words: Were going down, women and children first, ****** off dragon, demon king, changeling hookers, berzerk shifters, no more booze on board, mutiny, or tax collector.
3079. Im still not Batman.
3080. Theres no such thing as a 'cute and fuzzy' Quori.
3081. I should stop telling that to the Kalashtar.
3082. I should also stop telling the Kalashtar "sweet dreams" when he goes to bed.
VagueZ

11-07-05, 10:28 AM		3083. Not allowed to use any item or spell or power that produces an effect similar to 'clairvoiyance' or scrying or anything of the sort to spy on the women while they are showering.

3084. Not even if it's the catgirl, and you can produce a signed document in writing saying that she's okay with it.

3085. No, not even if it's really her signature.

3086. Not allowed to knock new crew members out, look shocked when they awake, tell them that they're dead and now a ghost, and have them walk through Kanatash to prove it.

3087. While most of the more experienced crew members might be familiar with this trick, the Warforged is never again to be subjected to it. Having him think he can float and walk off the edge of the Forgotten Freedom once was bad enough.

3088. Any ritual that has even the slightest chance of summoning uncontrolled monsters, especially demons or fire elementals, must be performed off the ship.

3089. The crew does not, will not, and has not ever spontaneously burst into the "Cabin Fever" song from "Muppet Treasure Island".
LugWrench

11-07-05, 04:22 PM		3090. The spell Color spray does not involve throwing handfulls of M&Ms.
3091. Or Skittles.
3092. Or Resse's Pieces.
3093. A Rod of Wonder is not a toy.
3094. And its not that kind of toy, either.
3095. No matter what the catgirl says.
3096. A Bag of Tricks will not produce Tribbles.
3097. Thank the Gods......
3098. I am not allowed to juggle Horrid Rats.
3099. Or any other Horrid animal, for that matter.
Decree Of Boredom

11-07-05, 10:55 PM		3100. Corellary to 3098: Nor may you juggle gosslings.
3101. After the "special" rod of the viper the artificer made to be given to Jaela, his crafting tools, components, and dedicated wrights are to be confiscated.
3102. I recently overheard the words "warforged", "rejection mode", and "hurl airships" in a discussion between two artificers. As a result, no one is to tell the warforged no, regardless of the circumstances.
3103. Not everyone on this ship is a mammal.
3104. The crew will not fight ALL the time.
3105. The purpose of the crew is not to flip out and kill people.
Charles Phipps

11-07-05, 11:35 PM		3106. Smoke bombs are not standard issue for escape.
3107. Or nightsuits.
3108. Our ninja is not Snake Eyes....
3109. Or StormShadow...
3110. Or a Turtle.
3111. And he sure as hell is Naruto.
Kinger

11-08-05, 12:08 AM		3111. And he sure as hell is Naruto.
(emphasis mine)
Sweet jibbly giblets, I hope that's a typo. That little punk's a bad DMPC if I ever saw one...
Charles Phipps

11-08-05, 12:54 AM		(emphasis mine)
Sweet jibbly giblets, I hope that's a typo. That little punk's a bad DMPC if I ever saw one...

Keep your friends close...
Spirit_Golem

11-08-05, 01:30 AM		3112. The captian does not apprecate being drugged durring mealtimes.
3113. Especialy if you somehow use soverign glue to attach me by my boots to the bottom of the Forgotten Freedom again.
3114. Whoever did that last time, step forward now.
rampant

11-08-05, 02:16 AM		3115. Stop painting the warforged.
3116. I mean it.
3117. Thats it next time i see the warforged in any color besides its own, i'm keel hauling the whole crew in shifts.
3118. I've almost got the money for that stop in Reidra.
LugWrench

11-08-05, 04:09 PM		3119. Drinking contests will be put on hold indefinately.
3120. The captain confiscated the Everfull Mugs.
3121. The mage is forbidden to write "Tira is a hottie" above Flamekeep.
3122. Even if she is kind of cute.
3123. There is no spoon.
3124. The ships figurehead is to be tasefully clothed at all times.
3125. ESPECIALLY over Flamekeep.
3126. And it had damn-well better NOT look like Jaela.
Dex

11-08-05, 09:04 PM		3127. The Following spells are banned from use on the Forgotten Freedom in specific circumstances:
3128. Grease cast anywhere near the edge of the ship
3129. Fireballs not aimed off the ship
3130. Invisibilty cast within the crew's quarters or especially outside the crew's quarters with the intent to go inside (Even if the catgirl/changeling/paladin chick/other lets you)
3131. Prestigitation for any use other than cleaning
3132. Mordenkainen's Disjunction. Period.
3133. These are in addition to any other bans aforementioned.

(BTW what level are the crew? just wondering)
rampant

11-09-05, 01:47 AM		3134. Use of time magic is exppressly forbidden, if I even suspect anyone of using time magic without leave i will keel haul them retroactively. *in chalk* (translation excuse for random keelhaulings)

3135. Anyone who messes with the list gets to clean Doog's quarters.
LugWrench

11-12-05, 12:25 PM		3136. THere is no Ctrl-Alt-Delete to reset the warforged.
3137. The next wizard or sorcerer who claims 'everything burns' gets tossed over the side.
VagueZ

11-12-05, 02:51 PM		3138. The person who ordered four hundred cases of adult diapers needs to step forward, now.

3139. I don't care that they can be used as sumo outfits.

3140. You are not to tell the warforged again that the diapers are armor.

3141. Or food.

3142. They would not make an effective bombardment weapon, no matter how high we fly the airship.

3143. They will not make good 'minature parachutes' if we have to bail out and Featherfall is not available.
LugWrench

11-13-05, 11:58 PM		3144. Etching "WIDE LOAD" on the back of the warforged is a bad idea.
3145. Despite her claims, a bikini is not 'standard issue armor' for the catgirl.
3146. Neither is it a Bikini of Distraction.
3147. Even if it does distract the bad guys.
3148. The crew does not need theme music.
3149. The captain, however, gets theme music at his discretion.
3150. No, you cannot pick the tune.
3151. Not even if you bribe the captain with the catgirl.
Kinger

11-14-05, 12:51 AM		Here's another crewmember for you quickly...

Smig
NE Razorclaw Shifter Druid 6/Rogue 1

A zealous (yet secret) member of the Ashbound, Smig is the closest thing Eberron has to an eco-terrorist. It is fortunate for the crew that the authorities have not yet managed to notice the incredible correlation between Forgotten Freedom stops and villages with wells poisoned by Contagion. It's fortunate for Smig that none of the crew have caught on yet either.

While both shifters, Smig and Marish have very little in common. While Marish can be considered "charismatic," Smig is nothing of the sort. He's rude. He stinks. He's dirty. He has fleas. Most of the crew want nothing to do with him, which is fine by Smig. He has managed to keep his allegience secret because of it.

A druid from the Reaches, Smig is on the Forgotten Freedom with claims of "wanting to see the world." In reality, Smig sees the ship as simply a means of getting to places of civilization so that he can ruin them. Countless villages and hamlets the ship has stopped at have been overrun by plagues and infestations, had their magical wells dispelled, and have suffered from marauding horrid animals as a result.

A master of poisons, Smig takes great advantage of his poison immunity by brewing poisons in the ship's galley. As of yet, nobody important has succumbed to them, but who knows when fatal contact poison may end up on the doorknob of the artificer? Smig's favourite poisons come from his viper animal companion, which he has trained to accept milkings. His viper, Snuggles, is liked even less than Smig by the crew. Most are unsure why the shifter is even allowed to remain on the ship in the first place, though many have to admit that the druid's potent abilities and poisonous arsenal have saved the collective behinds of the crew more than once.

Aside from his combative abilities, Smig is also very good at predicting the weather, which is immeasurably useful for an airship. He also spends a great deal of time studying the ship's bound elemental, so the crew believes that if need be, the druid can be counted on to deal with it should it break loose. In actuality, Smig will be the one most likely to release the elemental in the first place when the Forgotten Freedom has outlived its usefulness to him.

Skills: Craft: Poisonmaking, Survival, Knowledge: Nature, Handle Animal, Disable Device, Bluff

(This character is based heavily off one played by a friend in a game I'm part of, and I only just thought: "An eco-terrorist druid? Fits right in!" :) )
LugWrench

11-14-05, 06:34 PM		Pholly
Gnome Rogue 1 / Artifacer 1 / Redshirt 1
Pholly (more of a nickname than an actual name) has been part of the crew for a while now, and has fully earned his name. Pholly claims to be a master of lockpicking, despite the fact that he only practices on one lock, made before the Last War started. Pholly has been working on his alchemy skills recenty, specifically trying to make alchemist fire. His frequent explosive failures routinely rock the ship, yet leave Pholly only slightly scorched. This has given the cleric absolute fits, not to mention the Captain. The cleric is hoping that Pholly will finally blow himself to smithereens, so he can get a good nights sleep. The Captain hopes Pholly will die so he doesnt have to pay good money to fix up the ship.
Pholly was recently fobidden from dumping his failed concoctions in the ships head, as the resulting Arcane Ooze was quite pesky and tough to exterminate.
Pholly volunteers to go on several hazardous assignments, hoping to earn some prestige in the eyes of his crew mates. More often than not, Pholly is attacked by some big mean creature and nearly slain, only to show up hale and healthy the next day.
rampant

11-15-05, 02:47 AM		I can just imagine chalky convincing smig to play a game of one on one hazrack with pholly as the totem
Deekin

11-15-05, 12:45 PM		3152. Complete Reading of the list is required of the list before the adding of new rule
3153. The Crew is forbidden from adding new rules to the list that are duplicates of older rules in order to inflate the list of things the crew cannot do to get to 3333.
3154. I don't care how drunk I was, the list overights any command from the captain.
3155. Violation of any of the above rules will result of the word stupid eched into your forhead with Arcane Maek
3156. Smashing any Dragonshards on the ship, especialy Kyber shards, to free elementals will reuslt as your soul being used to power the ship.
3157. This is not the Delphinus, so there is no Syberis Cannon to fire.
3158. The list shal not be read during class, or during work, becouse the amount of laughing will attract attention.
3159.No rule on this list may overide another rule already on the list
3160. The Captain reserves the right to edit the list at any times.
VagueZ

11-15-05, 01:40 PM		As a random suggestion, perhaps we could have a thread something on the order of "1001 new additions to the worst party in Eberron" or something? This group is going to grow greatly otherwise, and be difficult to remember who is who.

3161. Smig is never to be put in the same room at the catgirl.

3162. Especially not if the reason for doing so contains any of the following words: kittens, heat, litter box, kennel.

3163. Blind Man's Bluff is not to be played on deck.

3164. The gnome redshirt is not to ever be involved in a scheme of the artificer's.

3165. Doubly so if Jaela is involved.

3166. No spellcaster is ever again to research variants of 'awaken' that can be used on animated objects. One silverware union strike was bad enough.
Charles Phipps

11-15-05, 01:58 PM		As a random suggestion, perhaps we could have a thread something on the order of "1001 new additions to the worst party in Eberron" or something? This group is going to grow greatly otherwise, and be difficult to remember who is who.

Meh, the crew is infinite....and has a high "turnover" rate.

Captain: You mean they die?

Yes.

Captain: Except me.

Errr....not really.

Captain: Don't forget I have pictures of you and the...

You're immortal.
Dex

11-16-05, 01:03 AM		3167. Anyone caught playing with magnets and the warforged will walk the plank. Just think about that for a moment...

3168. The next person to write 'lol' after a rule on this list will be keelhauled. (lol)

3169. I will commission the Artificer to flame-proof this ship...when I can afford his outrageous fee.
rampant

11-16-05, 01:14 AM		3170. Or when he gets tired of sleeping on the keel.
VagueZ

11-16-05, 09:38 AM		3171. No, the reason you can't rub magnets over the warforged has nothing to do with messing up his hard drive.
Thwyvylyn

11-16-05, 10:15 AM		3172. Doing that with magnets to the shifter girl is not permitted.

3173. And it's definitely not sane.

3174. Whoever told the gnome redshirt there are firearms in Eberron, step foward now.

3175. The Iron Kingdoms is not Eberron with Guns.

3176. Nor are the Warjacks in any way related to the 'forged.

3177. The Church of the Silver Flame does not worship Menoth.

3178. Even if they dress a little bit similar.

3179. And are both made up of zealeous crusading freaks.

3180. Karrnath and Khador are not that similar.

3181. Even if they are both cold and have a thing for red.

3182. Cygnar is not Breland.

3183. Telling the warforged that he has "focus" points and must expend them to do things that you assign to him is strictly forbidden.

3184. Inviting trolls over for tea is never, EVER to be done...again.

3185. The same goes for Ogres or any other creature with large size and a small brain.

3186. Cryx is not related to the Blood of Vol or the Emerald Claw.

3187. Vol's Warforged bodyguards are not "Helljacks".

3188. Vol does not run a blood bank.

3189. Wait...she's a lich? How does she have blood?

3190. Figurative Language? What in the name of the Sovereigns are you babbling about?
dang

11-16-05, 11:11 PM		3191. no, can't name your rodent familiar Erandis da Vole... unless you make a DC20.

3192. scions of house kundarak are NOT to whistle while they ward.

3193. Talenta is not a nation, nor is it ruled by the King of Pop.

3194. barons of house sivis may not also represent the lollipop guild.

3195. marketing an "I <3 Sharn" shirt will not make you rich.

3196. i don't know the answer to this question:

3197. how much war can a warforged forge if a warforged could forge war?

3198. the aereni may not collect candy by walking house to house.

3199. joan rivers is not an ascendant councilor.

3200. joan rivers cannot be invoked by the right to counsel feat.

3201. even if she were to ask the Inspired "who are you wearing?"

3202. no you can't spend all the party's money on an eternal wand of prestidigitation.

3203. even if the shifter has poor hygiene.

3204. the race of eight winds does not entail passing gas.

3205. and doing so won't help you win.
dang

11-16-05, 11:16 PM		3206. the warforged druid may not wildshape into gizmoduck.
LugWrench

11-17-05, 04:17 PM		3207. Dick Clarke is not a Councilor, either.
3209. Neither is Wink Martindale.
3210. They are both undead.
3211. The bard is not allowed "to teach the world to sing".
3212. Hell, the bard cant even get the captain to carry a tune in a sack.
3213. And the bard is sure as hell NOT allowed to hold weekly square dances!
VagueZ

11-17-05, 09:17 PM		3214. And a successful intimidate roll by the bard does not result in polka music.

3215. The bard is not allowed to take perform ranks in the following weapons: grand piano, pipe organ, the bodies of the fallen, armpit farts, or the tuned chickens from "Muppet Show".

3216. The addition is weight is not due to the large number of invisible demons some of the crazier crew members are claiming. Dust of Appearance and True Seeing have revealed this is not the case. Honestly. Would I lie to you...?

3217. Nor is it because I, your captain, am getting fat, and any crew members who persist in claiming that will be considered excess ballast and thrown overboard.
rampant

11-18-05, 05:04 AM		3218. No this does not give you an excuse to test your theories on whether gnomes bounce.
Thwyvylyn

11-18-05, 10:21 AM		3219. Having the bard sing "It's a small world after all will result in a triple bypass keelhauling with emphasis on the "keel".

3220. The same goes for any other Disney show toons.

3221. Pixie Rogues who are Alcoholic, Thoroughly Permiscuious and Chaotic Neutral are not to be allowed as character concepts (Sadly this is true, I played in a campaign with one, :twitch: ).

3222. Despite the above character fitting in perfectly on this ship, it is still not allowed.
LugWrench

11-18-05, 12:09 PM		3223. In reference to 3221, the catgirl hates competition.
3224. The mage will refrain from casting Geas on the catgirl with the instructions 'Blow the man down'.
3225. Or at least he will stop doing it while the captain is giving a speech, or greeting what few important people we get on this bucket.
3226. I will stop calling the Forgotten Freedom a 'bucket'.
3227. Coarse grit sandpaper has now been added to the keel.
3228. Trust me on this one.
Thwyvylyn

11-18-05, 01:27 PM		3229. To add to 3227 and 3228, we will be adding kyber dragonshards with various etremely aggressive (and mean) bound elementals to the keel as well as soon as we can afford it.
Kamikaze Chicken

11-18-05, 01:46 PM		3230: The warforged is not allowed to max out his speak language skill and mutter oh dear incessently.
3231: Nor is he allowed a small animated object trash bin to beep and bloop along with his bantering.
3232: The shifter is never allowed anywhere near catnip, or its derivatives.
3233: Unless the captain indeed wishes to be "blown down"
3234: or is just really lonely.
3235: and doesnt mind a little cat-girl action on the "bucket"

dont kill me for my sad humor.....

KAMIKAZE! :chicken:
Charles Phipps

11-18-05, 02:53 PM		3236: You will not hold the cat girl and stroke her when Dark Lantern Agent Bond arrives.

3237. We do not build elaborate death traps for Dark Lantern Agents, we just kill them.

3238. When describing my latest scheme for world domination, you do not make fun that it is called "Preperation H"

3239. Or point your fingers and wag them when I mention it involves a Giant Laser.

3240. All I want is some sharks with lasers on their heads damnit!

3241. When I have you on the plank, I don't expect you to talk. I expect you to die!
VagueZ

11-18-05, 03:46 PM		3242. The barbarian does not enter a rage by shouting "By the power of Greyskull, I am HE-Man!"

3243. Nor are any of the undead you may meet to be called Skeletor.

3244. And anyone who resembles Orko in any way, shape, or form will be keel-hauled until the resemblance is gone.
Charles Phipps

11-18-05, 09:45 PM		3244. And anyone who resembles Orko in any way, shape, or form will be keel-hauled until the resemblance is gone.

3245. Except Black Mage.
Salookanana

11-18-05, 11:32 PM		3245. Except Black Mage.

Can we keelhaul Fighter? Or Thief? Or Red Mage? Or Fighter?

3246. It's fireball, not Hadoken
3247. The movements for this spell are not | \ - P
3248. You cannot have Swordchucks
3249. Why? Because, stupid, you could.... :lightbulb:
3250. You can have swordchucks now! :schemes:
3251. You cant shoot the captian with a hammer
3252. Warforged cannot use a bellyflop as their main attack
3253. Except on halflings
3254. All crew members must carry bags of flour and towels so that they can be ready for anything
3255. You cannot play Beavis or Butthead
3256. I do not have TP
3257. Or nachos
3258. Dont ask the warforged about his "bunghole"
Decree Of Boredom

11-19-05, 03:45 PM		3251. You cant shoot the captian with a hammer


Wrong. (http://wizards.com/dnd/images/moe_gallery/91492.jpg)
Endless_Helix

11-19-05, 11:31 PM		Hey, we need a Kalashtar something or other. There are a bunch of amusing ones involving this guy... Here's my idea...

Ajihazi, Kalahstar Soulknife 4/Fighter 4/2 Dervish
LE (CE, LG, NE, NG)

Ajihazi is a child of the dust. He was orphaned by the last war, leaving him on the streets of Fairhaven. He quickly figured out that the strong had an advantage over the weak, a big advantage.So he survived on the streets, for a period of time, acting as a Boromar enforcer. However, one thing he didn't know was that he was the last of his line. The Dreaming Dark did however. He was finally found gibbering in a corner about ponies, pyres, and purple people eaters, by a Kalashtar silvertongue named Halashtyran. Upon realizing what this poor broken soul was, he brought Ajihazi before the Enlightened Havakhad for cleansing. Unfortunately, the DD did their job just a little too thoroughly. Havakhad could remove most of the insanity, except that several personalities just wouldn't go. It took them two years to bring Ajihazi back to an uneasy normality. They taught him most of what he knows now, unfortunatly, he has begun to revert to his old problems, such as switching between his five distinct personalities

The Paladin: LG, The one that everyone but Doog likes. He is often useful and sometimes even impresses Jarlot with his quick thinking and ability to get things done.Supremely likable, he helps with public relations.

The Child: NG, This basically puts Ajihazi into an extended time of uselessness. He will play with blocks, ask the Catgirl to read to him, and walk in on things at the exact wrong moment, oblivious as to what's going on. Ocasionally, he actually helps around the ship, but he will just as often throw a temper tantrum. Temper tantrums are exceedingly dangerous as he is a capable melee combatant, can summon his own weapons and gets really angry.

Maisy of Elm Street: NE, Doog got really wierded out by this personality because it asked him if he was looking for a little action the first time they met.. Apparently Maisy was a woman of the streets that Ajhazi knew as a child, but eventually drifted away from her. Everyone gets very confused when Maisy has conquered the mind of Ajihazi. The Catgirl relates to her the best, but knows competition when she sees it.

Ajihazi, the Soulknife: LE, This personality has aserted it's dominance for three years now.and is basically, for all intents and purposes is Ajihazi. Doog was equally as surprised by this personalitiy because it expressed wishes to prove worthy enough to cut the trouser titan of inuendo fame in half, without realizing what it was, wie.ding

The Quori: This personality has only gotten buried by the other personalities due to the number of civillian casualties that this personality causes.
Crystalforged

11-20-05, 12:05 AM		Technically I already posted a Kalastar crewman, Kanatash, the completely insane psion uncarnate on page 13. Not like I mind though, the more the merrier. :P

While I'm at it, how do you think Ajihazi's different personalities would react to Kanatash? Kanatash is way to crazy to react any diffently to another Kalashtar but I am curious what Ajihazi would do.

Oh, and I am kinda curious about the Quori personality. Care to elaborate? Is it the personalty of the spirit he posses? What exactly happens when it manifests itself?
Salookanana

11-20-05, 04:16 AM		Name- Michael McCellan
Race Human
Profession- Blackguard
Chaotic Evil
Crimes-
Public drunkenness
Public nudity
Public urination
Soliciting of courtesans
Soliciting of female clergy
Conspiring to magically age a pontiff
Trying to send Helms of Opposite alignment to female paladins.
Stealing alcohol
Murder
Arson
Sending mirrors and garlic to certain royalty
Tax evasion

Michael is a wandering Blackguard in search of cash and fun. Since he is a greedy murdering psycho, he fits right in. Despite what he is, he tries to hit on the paladin, constantly. “Hey baby, wanna feel the power of the dark side? Its in my pants!” and "Once you go black, you never go back!"
He is often smited…
He often steals the captains alcohol, but has successfully blamed it on the warforged. When he is caught, he makes up for it by stealing alcohol for the ship’s use.
Michael is known for sky writing dirty jokes and swear words, mooning were creature to try to turn them, burning things, and getting drunk. He tries to convert the warforged and any one in plate mail into projectile weaponry.
He occasionally tries to start mutinies to “liven things up.”
When drunk, he sings. Very badly. Worse then a retarded orc.
He has tried to melt defeated warforged down to sell for scrap metal, but to no avail.
He acts like a free agent to any temples of evil, but claims to be an atheist. “I cant afford to show any preference in this line of work”
He also eats garlic pizzas before audiences with Kaius, and wears mirrored armor when in his presence.
On several occasions Michael has been suspected of cooking things with the Silver Flame, and with urinating in it.
He only hits on the catgirl when drunk. Which is frequent. When sober Michael claims to “Not chase tail LITERALLY.”
He always carries a towel and a few flour bags at all times.
He has been found guilty numerous warforged related offenses too.

So do you think he would fit in? Ill leave the levels up to you. No, I’m not lazy…
Endless_Helix

11-20-05, 09:58 AM		@Salookanana: Yup, he's a fit. Sounds like Doog's best friend...

@Crystalforged: Ooops.... Oh well... at least Gestalt Anchor can do something for him now :D

The Quori personality is the quori that drove him insane way back in the day. Some psychic quirk in Ajihazi's personality locked the quori in Ajihazi, and won't let it go. The Quori is a low level Tuscora soulknife, which is what allows Ajihazi to get his mindblade out at all, without training. Unfortunately, the Quori went insane as well. This leads to real problems for everyone around Ajihazi. Sometimes this personality just mutters threateningly at everyone in hearing and insists that orders from the Dreaming Dark will come soon and Khorvaire will be (his/hers/its). Other times, usually in combat, The Quori will go into a frenzy and attemp to kill everything in sight, often getting hung up on small cute and fuzzy things and cutting them into bits.

It interacts with Kantash by muttering darkly about how when the Dreaming Dark rules, dirty little halfbreeds will be executed and dumped into mass graves. It doesn't ever attack him though, which is strange because it attacks everything else.

Frankly, my favorites are The Child, The Quori, and Maisy of Elm Street. The Catgirl likes the The Child, finding it cute. Even the temper tantrums. Although this converation would be funny.

Doog: ... Yeah, the Trouser Titan banged a few babes last night. It was some kinky stuff. Hachachacha! (Laughter)

Ajhazi: I hope one day that I may be strong enough to cut the Trouser Titan in half. It is clearly Evil.

Doog:... Evil? *Close his legs unconciously*

Catgirl: Ajihazi, do you know what a Trouser Titan is?

Ajihazi: Some sort of powerful demon. It must be. I mean, it exploded infants! Such vile creatures must be destroyed.

Doog gasped, squeeked, and ran away. The Catgirl laughed uproariously.
Crystalforged

11-20-05, 02:56 PM		Ok thanks for the info Endless_Helix my curiosity is sated.



Now Salookanana on whether the blackgaurd would fit in...

Lets see; he is Chaotic Evil, makes crude sexual references, is completely irreverent, and is alcoholic. Seriously it is how to see how he could NOT fit in with this group. As far as I can tell he has all the traits you could hope to find in this crew besides being completely out of his mind and we already have two Kalashtar and a mad artificer for that.:heehee
Charles Phipps

11-20-05, 03:26 PM		In honor of this trailer...

http://pdl.warnerbros.com/wbmovies/vforvendetta/V_trailer_640_reflect.mov

V for Vengeance
Chaotic Neutral
Fighter 6/Rogue 1/Cyrean Avenger 3

In what is obviously the man's attempt to get his ideas for how he would conduct his life from a woodcut novel bought in Sharn, V is a self-styled member of the Sword of Liberty whom has sought refuge on the Forgotten Freedom while he plots more or less overthrowing every single government in the Four Nations. In what is genuinely surprising, there's not terribly much funny about Vengeance.

Vengeance is a former soldier of the Cyrean government and is a survivor of the Day of Mourning. Horribly deformed and disfigured by the blast, Vengeance wandered through the aftermath of the chaos and cataclysm while struggling with his own anger over the poor treatment of Cyreans. He thus got himself a heavy cloak, a large hat, and a garish looking theatrical mask. He has since waged a never ending campaign of gurellia warfare against the Five Nations in hopes of eventually toppling the governments.

Vengeance sought refuge on the Forgotten Freedom after more or less determining that the pirate ship was a place that couldn't possibly be sought MORE by the government and thus wouldn't really object to his presence. Captain Jarlot is somewhat sympathetic to his aims as his distaste for a certain Witch on the Throne of Aundair, an undead on the throne of Karrnath (the irony is that they don't BELIEVE he's a vampire yet they're spreading the idea he is), the corruption of Brelish parliament, and a certain Cardinal in Thrane who REALLY rules the government. Much like Malcolm Renyolds, whatever tweaks the establishment's nose is fine by him.

Vengeance isn't a blanket murderer though as his goals are more to make the governments look ridiculous than destroy its members. It's thus Vengeance that secretly (or not so secretly) uses Ketlers inventions that he commisions to carry out activities that have given the Forgotten Freedom such a reputation as the avatar of the ridiculous that it has.

The one exception to his government views is V's adoration of Jaela. He views the young girl as the incarnation of innocence and thankfully nothing untoward is in his feelings even as she just reminds him of his own lost family. V sends poetry, flowers, routinely tries to kidnap her to hug her, and also plots to make her a crew member. The fact that he's unable to say anything nice about the Silver Flame (or the Sovereign Host) to save his life isn't much of a concern.

V remains one of more recognizable figures of the crew due to the fact that...well...he wears a giant coat, hat, and has a theatrical mask on all the time. He is the second most armed figure on the ship after a certain half-orc. Laden down usually with alchemist's fire, explosives, knives, swords, crossbows, and a hat of fireballs (yes, that is actually true)

So, thoughts on this one?
Charles Phipps

11-20-05, 03:33 PM		Name- Michael McCellan
So do you think he would fit in? Ill leave the levels up to you. No, I’m not lazy…

I like him personally. There's a wonderful attache to the fact he's a complete loser whom happens to be the (traditionally) terrifying role of a blackguard. Sort of like Darth Vader and you have Jay or Randall.

;-)
VagueZ

11-21-05, 12:43 AM		I shall jump on the bandwagon by offering up a character of my own.

Jam, CG Human Illusionist 4 (Forbidden schools: Evocation, Conjuraton)

One Rajah, the greatest of all, was sealed into a human bloodline. Or so Jam will tell you, if you let him. Actually, he'll tell you anyway, even if you aren't listening. He is, of course, speaking about himself. He's extremely bold as long as he feels safe, and amazingly cowardly otherwise.

Jam would like to steer the crew to mildly more wholesome activities, but sadly he's not very good at it. His off-hand comments tend to only suggest things to the other members. A typical example might be, "Y'know, if we were to drop large blocks of ice over the side, the villagers might think it was hailing. Er, but we shouldn't do that. Someone might get hurt. Hey, don't do that. I'll reduce you to ash with my infinite power if you don't listen to me! Ow! Okay, fine, I'll let you get away with it this time, but I won't alway be so understanding..." At which point he will run and hide. Amazing how strong he will claim to be when he doesn't have to demonstrate his lack of just about any useful combat spell.

Jam's inept attempts to reform the crew have won him no useful friends, and if it weren't for his amazing ability to stabilize, he'd long be dead. On one notable night, his drink had two poisons in it, his food a third, he sat on a knife (several times), fell into a wall (again, several times), and cut his throat while 'shaving' so badly that he nearly bled to death.

The crew, though, is slowly becoming used to the sight of a meek, scared, and scarred deckhand stopping his mopping of the deck to cast some odd little spell or spit up some more fodder for their plots, before threatening them if they use his ideas and hiding somewhere. The fact that he claims to be the king of evil doesn't bother most of the crew, given their daily lives and companions.
Salookanana

11-21-05, 03:15 AM		I can imagine this conversation:

Michael- *hawking loogies off the ship*
Doog- I'm telling ya, its epic levels down there!
Michael- Thats nothing, i gotta have monkey grip just to...
Doog- Huhuhuh, monkey grip.
Jam- Hey you know if some one threw some alchemist's fire off the side of the ship, a lot of people would be burned. Good thing V keeps his stash with him at all times, so that people cant abuse it!
Michael- I gotta, uh... use the a can
Jam- ok!
eventually...
[Doog, Michael, and V throw alchemist fire off the side]
V- Hey, since this is mine, you guys owe me
Doog- I dont owe you squat
Michael- I'll steal you some ale or something.
Jam- Wait, what have i done?! Michael, if you dont stop, i shall slay you with my ultimate powers of darkness!!
Michael- Yeah, yeah... *tosses more A fire off*
Jam- I'm warning you!!
Doog- Wonder how far i could throw him...
Jam- er.... Ill... call the paladin!!
Michael- Oh really?! Where is she?! *drool*
Maisy- Heey there boys.
Michael- Uh i gotta go.. run for my life now...
V- Uh... (what do i have with me that i could use to escape??)
Maisy- I dont see why you like that pontif girl over me, V
Doog- Yeaaah.. I gotta go learn monkey grip.
V- HEY DONT LEAVE ME!!!
rampant

11-21-05, 03:32 AM		"Oh gods why haven't you smote these dumbasses yet?

I know its becuase your just a buch of sick twisted freaks that enjoy watching us scurry. So you let these creeps run rampant in our midst."

- Tasen Utgen
ex-cleric of the soveriegn host after an encounter with the crew of the FF
Charles Phipps

11-21-05, 05:36 AM		*Jaela happily skips along in her garden picking flowers*

*A shadow of an airship then takes over the garden*

*Smoke emerges behind her and theatrically V steps out as he looms over her to swoop her up in his cape*

*Jaela looks up*

*Captain Jarlot, Paladin Lisa, and Doog grab V and start beating him up*

Captain Jarlot: When I say no kidnapping the Pontiff! I mean no kidnapping the Pontiff. Hold him down while I beat him up for rules violations.

Doog: Yessir.

Marish: MANNnnnnn can't we go back to Sharn! I'm almost out of fur curlers and...feminine supplies. Plus Cat litter!

Captain Jarlot: I am punishing deviant crew!

Marish: They're all deviant crew.

Andrea the Necromancer: I told you, if you'd just me kill them all and reanimate them then we wouldn't have these discipline problems!

Captain Jarlot: Don't tempt me....29 punches! THIRTY!

Ketler: Hey Jaela, want some candy?

Captain Jarlot: You're next Nancy Boy!

Jam: The Dragon Below commands you not to abuse your fellow crew members!

V: Come with me! Join my revolution to conquer all of the world in the name of democracy and overthrowing the proleteriat Jaela! You're uncorrupted!

*is dragged back onboard the ship before it zooms off*

*Cardinal Kronzen walks into the garden after they left*

Cardinal Kronzen: Anything of interest today Your Holiness?

*The young girl watches the now familiar ship sail off into the distance*

Jaela: Same old...Same old.

...okay, back to the list you guys.
Thwyvylyn

11-21-05, 10:06 AM		3259. Anything that gives the quori nightmares stays off this boat.

3260. Aside from Warforged, Elves, Thri-Kreen, and the Kalashtar.
havershame_swordflinger

11-21-05, 10:19 AM		3261 The catgirl is not to "groom" herself in front of the crew
3262 Unless theres a cover charge
3263 And the captin gets half
Thrincold

11-21-05, 11:56 AM		Ok to explain this is an old character of mine from FR. I made him before I ever read any adventures of a certain whiny self loathing drow character.

Thrincold Store
CN Drow rogue.

Thrin, as he is called by his friends (he has none) is a very atypical drow. He was exiled by his tribe for stealing, mischief making, and selling his cousins to explorers coming through the area.

He made his way to sharn disguised as some flighty rich elf, complete with the papers to prove who he was. (The dead elf didn't need them anymore...)

He hooked up with the FF running from the law, and the Borenals, outta Sharn as quickly as he could run.

He has yet to reveal his true Drowness to the crew. He poses as an elitist elf noble who is good with a rapier, and is on a lark with the crew. He's having the time of his life the problem is he doesn't know what they'd do if he revealed himself.

To pay for his passage he routinely steals portions of everyone's money to pay off the captain. Somehow no one has figured out that he only seems rich and generous with the crew after they get paid...

Only one crewperson to date has seen him out of character. But it was night and the 1/2 orc was busy...polishing the main mast.... while he was sposed to be on watch so discounted what he saw and doesn't want to persue it.

It's a little rough but whatcha think. This guy has been around for bout 8 years real time. I've done alot with him, but adapting him to Eberron has been a chalenge since I think he was lvl 18 or so when I retired him.

That and he's a drow. I try to make it clear I'm not a fanboy though. I just like the concept for this character and he's so close to evil the neutral barely matters :)
JulesCARV

11-21-05, 12:12 PM		Martha Grayholm
True Neutral
Dwarf Commoner 4

Martha Grayholm is an elderly dwarf widow, with an unreliable memory and mysterious origins, at least with regards to how she got onto the Forgotten Freedom. As far as she knows, she got lost on her way home one day and somehow ended up on the airship. However, exactly what "home" referred to is somewhat mysterious. Her last reliable memories are of herself and her then-living husband living in Cyre, and she knows her address -- now in the Mournlands -- by heart, but she doesn't remember very well where she was after that: she remembers vaguely that they left Cyre for "the country" to "retire" but that's about it.

On the Forgotten Freedom, Martha serves several roles. She is a reasonably skilled seamstress, and she often repairs the rips and tears in the clothing of the Forgotten Freedom's crew. She has a generally maternal attitude, and also serves as a counselor to the crew. She frequently advises Marish on how to "find a husband worth having," recommending that she tone down her more flamboyant behaviors, act more coy and inaccessible, and raise her standards. Marish usually listens politely to this advice, or at least pretends to, while ignoring it to the letter. She frequently describes Michael McCellan as a very "charming, kindly young man," and is always surprised when he misbehaves on drunken rampages and various evil actions. She also gives Ketler advice on how to woo Jaela ("Well, thirteen is a bit young, but then, my grandma got married at that age..."), although all of her advice is too civilized for him. Whenever any of the crew are injured, ill, or otherwise in some way down, she makes chicken-broth soup for them. Somehow, she must subconsciously imbue it with some sort of magic, because the soup generally has effects similar to cure minor wounds. (she can "cast" the soup at will, with no limit of the number of times per day, but it takes a while (about an hour for a gallon, with each gallon serving ten bowls, each healing 1 hp), and requires all the usual material components of chicken soup)

Occassionally, Martha learns about the evil, bloodthirsty nature of the crew of the Forgotten Freedom. This always comes as a shock to her, and after she learns it, she always starts planning to leave them and use the "knowledge" she's gained of the ship and its crew to help authorities bring them down. Equally invariably, she forgets what she has learned about the Forgotten Freedom's crew after a day or to, and goes back into her old patterns.
Lathlander

11-21-05, 03:37 PM		3264. There will be no breaking down of doors that do not need to be broken, do you know how much doors cost to replace?

3265. I don't care if Doog hid something behind it.

3266. The Shifters are not to howl at the moons.

3267. No one else is to howl at the moons either.
Salookanana

11-21-05, 03:58 PM		Cpt. Jarlot- Ok, listen up crew, I'm going to read some of your suggestions from the suggestion box;

"all attractive female crew must not wear clothing"
"I demand beer and hookers!!"
"Is that paladin chick a real red head? Let me check!"
"Kidnap Jaela" Theres twenty of those...
"Kill all the idiots and make zombies out of them"
"Give us more ale dammit!"
"Doog and Michael should be made 'official female personnel inspectors'"
"I should be captain" A bunch of those ...
"Are you batman?" We went over this!
"Next time we see Jaela..."


3268. The suggestion box shall be burned and anyone who mentions it again wil be keelhauled
rampant

11-21-05, 07:45 PM		3269. Until after next payday.
VagueZ

11-21-05, 08:05 PM		3270. Do not tease the deckhand, just in case he's right about being a Rajah.

3271. Finding and releasing an actual Rajah for a 'family reunion' falls under this catergory.

3272. Do not tease the nice little dwarf lady. It's mean.

3273. I'm looking at you, Jam. Do not tell her about yourself again unless you want more soup burns.

3274. All available crew members are to subtly help her in another direction when the uncarnate psion or other, similiarly unnerving crew members are coming.

3275. Thank her when she gives you a sweater. Even if it's July and the sweater is sized for a dwarf and you happen to be rather larger.

3276. From now on, our official dress uniform is our new sweaters she gave us.

3277. Even the warforged. He will wear it as a bandana, since that's the only way it will fit.

3278. Yes, even the catgirl. Those who complain about it will be refered to the fact that she's wearing a tight sweater that's too small for her. There will be no further complaints, I trust?
Salookanana

11-22-05, 03:31 AM		3279. You cant play as a bard named J'Mai Hendrizzt
3280. And you cant have max ranks in Perform: Electric Lute
3281. The artificer cant make you a "Stratocaster"
3282. The warforged isnt an amp
3283. You cant use Ghost Sound to make the wind cry Mary
3284. Nor can you go to Electric Lady Land
3285. I dont know where Joe is going with that hand cross bow
3286. But I heard he shot his old lady down.
3287. The reason for all this is; If Jimi Hendrix was a pirate, the space time continuum would explode due to the awsomeness.
3288. Doubly so if he was a ninja too.
3289. Yes, our theme song can be "Freedom", are you happy?
3290. It CANNOT be Peanut Butter Jelly Time
3291. The artificer is not allowed to make dancing banana constructs..
Dex

11-22-05, 04:17 AM		3292. In addition to rules 3127-3133 inclusive (banning various spells), no casting of Holy Word. That'd take out like, half the crew, seriously. And the fire elemental... and probably snap the ship in half too.

3293. I *may* put money into the 'Buy a pole for the catgirl's room fund' box. Later. When no-one's looking.

3294. Though I will not allow the Artificer to enchant it with anything. Coz someone important might see it.

3295. DEFINETLY not, since the Artificer might put something on it to lure in Jaela.

3296. We are not going to replace the fire elemental with a Living Holocaust (Feind Folio). It was hard enough getting it back on the ring last time.

3297. Or a living Fireball
rampant

11-22-05, 04:47 AM		3298. No unsupervised summoning.

3299. No wish spells, without approval.

3300. No miracles or reality revisions either.

3301. No I will not remind you why not, you just like hearing it.
LugWrench

11-22-05, 12:07 PM		3302. No, you may not make a 'stonehenge' outside Flamekeep.
3303. And it sure as hell cant spell out the words "Marry Me, Jaela".
3304. The necromancer takes offense to the label 'creepy necro chick'.
3305. When she isnt around, its fair game, though.
VagueZ

11-22-05, 12:45 PM		3306. The Forgotten Freedon does not have an affirmative action policy. Thus, we are not required to have a minimum amount of fiends, centaurs, giants, chromatic dragons, other-wordly horrors, or awakened animals. The fact that we sometimes do seem to have these on board is purely coincidental.

3307. The following spells are also hereby banned from on-board casting: stinking cloud, cloudkill, dispell magic, anything that includes the words 'acid' or 'fire', and antipathy.

3308. No one, ever again, is to cast an anti-life shell in the privies.
Deekin

11-22-05, 05:26 PM		3309. I don' care if you are a shipdwelling monkey monk. you may not throw your poo.
3310. Even if it is adamantine poo.
3311. You are forbitten from telling th captian how you got metal poo.
3312. You cannot have any d20 modern gear.
3313. Aftershave is not to be applied with a putty knife.
3314 Clerics that are dragged to a tavern for a night of celebratory quaffing should be returned to their devotions within 4 to 6 working days (or within two High Holy Days, whichever comes first).
3315 Dark Gods require virgin sacrifices, incantations do not require virgin spell components. It is wrong to ask the mage how he knows his frog’s eyes come from a virgin frog.
Endless_Helix

11-22-05, 06:42 PM		In honor of this trailer...

http://pdl.warnerbros.com/wbmovies/vforvendetta/V_trailer_640_reflect.mov

V for Vengeance
Chaotic Neutral
Fighter 6/Rogue 1/Cyrean Avenger 3
...
So, thoughts on this one?

Yup. V isn't a Cyran Avenger in my mind. And besides, in the original comics, he definately had a few levels in Artificer and only used knives and no armor. I would stat him at

Rogue 3/Ftr 4/Art 2/Invisible Blade 3

Just my personal inclination, mind you.

Background is fun though!
Charles Phipps

11-22-05, 07:10 PM		Yup. V isn't a Cyran Avenger in my mind. And besides, in the original comics, he definately had a few levels in Artificer and only used knives and no armor. I would stat him at

Rogue 3/Ftr 4/Art 2/Invisible Blade 3

Just my personal inclination, mind you.

Background is fun though!

Well this wasn' a straight adaptation after all.

Poor Jaela, kidnapped and then brainwashed into becoming the next V...
Zemyla

11-22-05, 08:17 PM		You still need a monk on board!

Sien
LN changeling monk 6/warshaper 3

Sien is a very atypical changeling, because her father was a kalashtar. She inherited from this an unswerving calm. She also, doubtless due to some freakish mutation, inherited arms almost long enough to span the ship (though due to her disguise self ability, she looks normal most of the time).

She appears to be a kalashtar, except done in a changeling's color pallete. She typically wears tight sleeveless outfits.

Sien is unfailingly cryptic, and couches everything in terms that are understandable only to the insane. Which means most of the crew has no trouble comprehending her. :} Example: "If you know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago."

Why is she traveling with this pack of misfits? Because she heard they were going to Riedra eventually and is hoping to convince them to help her fight the Dreaming Dark. Notably, none of the men have hit on her, probably because there's something creepy about a friendly embrace that wraps around 5 or 6 times.

In combat, she typically stands in one place and punches people from 20 feet away. She also likes to grab them and throw them over the edge of the airship.
Crystalforged

11-23-05, 12:11 AM		I was just thinking, did anyone else notice that a paladin chick keeps being mentioned in the list but no one has actually created her as a crew member yet. I've been trying to come up with something for her but nothing is coming to me. You know, like what her personality whould be, what kind of past she had, why the :censored: someone who is LG would be on this ship, etc.

Oh and I am just to lazy to come up with answers to these questions so if anyone wants to create her feel free. :P
Charles Phipps

11-23-05, 12:53 AM		Let me try...I had the same problems you did!

Lisa Hopeforge

9th level

LG Paladin of the Silver Flame

Lisa Hopeforge is a Paladin chosen by the Silver flame to do battle with the forces of darkness. Unfortunately, the dead sexy looks-like-a-pinup-model seems like a comic book fanboy's wet dream woman has the SLIGHTTTTTTT issue that she has a rather unfortunate temper. Suffice to say, she sees evil...she smites it. This has lead to some embarrassing situations with the papacy's diplomacy and everyone from Karrnath to Darguun. It got to the point that the redheaded warrior was almost excommunicated from the faith, which would have been extremely embarrassing as she's also of the Royal Family of Thrane.
The new Pontiff Jaela came up with the idea then to 'Quest' her and using her mighty magics, then sent Lisa Hopeforge on a mission to spend a month of her life with neer'do'wells under the firm indictment to not fight their evil with violent means but instead fight evil with words. This was to teach her about the potential for redemption in all beings. According to the stipulations of her quest, she has to start over everytime she uses violence to solve her problems.
....Lisa has been with the crew five years now.
Lisa has occasionally thought about killing the entire crew and finding another less-demanding group to spend her time with but she must confess that the crew seems to have the curious property of managing to stop much more dangerous evils whenever she's about sure they all deserve to be annihilated. Rajahs, Daelkyr, Demon Princes, Emerald Claw, and so on. On some TWISTED, REPRESSED, and BIZARRE part of her soul...she even likes several of the members.
Lisa's interactions with the crew mostly consist of her (nonviolent according to her) use of a Hammer of Healing that she keeps in her breast plate of holding to beat the living snot out of crewmembers but also not leave them any physically worse off afterwards. She hits them whenever she feels they're being perverted, evil, stupid, or crude....thus someones usually in immense pain. This is likenable to the "Ninja Girl" (another female onboard the ship)'s use of a paper fan.
Sadly, Lisa's quest is doomed to fail as she unknowingly has been excommunicated a few thousand tims by the Church for mere association with the group.
Crystalforged

11-23-05, 02:02 AM		Hm. I like it. Definitly better than anything I though of (good explanation for how she could be there and not violate her code of conduct).

All that is left to say is.. (doing best Mr. Burns Impression) Eeeeeeeeexcelent.



Which makes me think...

3316. King Kaius is not Mr Burns

3317. King boranal is not Homer

3318. Neither Patty or Selma is Queen Aurla

3319. Jaela is not Lisa

3320. Ichy and Scratch are not our role models

3321. Stupid may be related to Ralph

3322. Doog is deffinitely Nelson

3323. Ketler is Sideshow Bob

3324. The resemblance is between Marish and Snowball II is only cosmetic(s)

3325. I will admit some resemblance between Pholly and Smithers

(penciled in below) 3326. The capn is deffinitely Ned Flanders

3327. The mourning originated in the city of Making not Springfield

3328. It was not caused by a "nuclear meltdown" (the resemblance is striking though isn't it?)

3329. There is no such thing as a nuclear power plant

3330. Homer/Boranal did not cause the meltdown

3331. We already covered that Boranal is not Homer

3332. :censored: it Kelter there is no such thing as "the Simpsons", there is no such thing as "television", and I will not let you test your ideas for a "nuclear power plant" on the ship



3333. Let the brainwashing begin. Rierda Ho!

(I tried to find the origional post about this but no luck. Said basically that the crew would be taken to Reireda when the captain had enough cash and the list reached 3333.) :D
anton1066

11-23-05, 03:47 AM		So how many people think that the next D&D book should be about the FF? Wait it would never make it into a the major book stores.
rampant

11-23-05, 04:06 AM		yes it would it would be in the revised nostradamus book with all new portents of the end of the world these guys would be the entire eppin list, and several sequals

3334. Goddamit we missed one. Where is that ghost?

3335. All crewmembers are required to reread the list.

3336. When I say get off the ship it means use the ladders you numbskulls. Oh yeah thats right... brainwashing.

3337. Use the ******* ladders.

3338. GAAAAAAAAHHH! even brainwashed you bozos are useless. You would think you'd at least have the brains of zombie.

3339. All new crew members are to leave veteran crew alone. I finally got them all doing something useful.

3340. Leave the mindless drones alone, they might wake up.

3341. Oooohhh shiiiiiit.
VagueZ

11-23-05, 09:48 AM		Actually, I've been thinking about trying my hand at writing a short story (2-10 K words) about this crew... but I wouldn't without the approval of a few more of the more senior contributors; clearly Charles Phipps, for a start, and preferably all those who contributed a character, too. Not as good as a full-fledged novel, I know, but I don't have the time to do that... nor would it be published for the world to see. Sadly.


3342. Whatever the justification, you are not to hit the captain.

3343. Look, see, I'm wearing glasses.

3344. You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?

3345. (penciled in, shakily) "No, I'd use a greatclub," is no longer an acceptable answer to the previous rule.

3346. When you see a gelatinous cube, you do not make any references to 'You can't hurt the Blob'. What is this 'X-men' you speak of?

3347. The artificer is not to make a set of ruby glasses that allow him to shoot lasers out of his eyes.

3348. Nor does the Warforged act Russian.

3349. And neither Shifter is 'the best at what they do' (though it's arguable in the catgirl's case), nor do they have adamantium bones.

3350. Female Drow druids are not Ororo.

3351. Psions are not to be paralyzed from the waist down and have their head shaved on your first meeting.

3352. Second and on is possible--depends on how helpful they're being.
Charles Phipps

11-23-05, 01:53 PM		Actually, I've been thinking about trying my hand at writing a short story (2-10 K words) about this crew... but I wouldn't without the approval of a few more of the more senior contributors; clearly Charles Phipps, for a start, and preferably all those who contributed a character, too. Not as good as a full-fledged novel, I know, but I don't have the time to do that... nor would it be published for the world to see. Sadly..

Sure, go ahead
Crystalforged

11-23-05, 02:14 PM		Feel free to use any of my stuff. As long a I get a chance to see it when you're done. :D

If you're pilfering this list for insperation people should be rolling on the floor with laughter by the second sentence.



Like so... :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
Kinger

11-23-05, 07:29 PM		If for some bizarre reason you actually WANT to include Doog and/or Smig, go ahead. :)
LugWrench

11-24-05, 02:13 AM		Knock yourself out, man. Pholly is purely a redshirt, so dont be embarassed about smacking him around a bit. :D
rampant

11-24-05, 03:27 AM		feel free to use chalky

just remember he's only happy when someone else is bleeding
VagueZ

11-24-05, 01:20 PM		Heh. Well, then, I suppose I will do it. I'll try not to disappoint anyone, but I'm more of a dramatic than humourous writer. Will be fun to try this, though; I shall inform you all when it is done.

3353. The monk is not Mr. Fantastic.

3354. The monk does not start combat by shouting "Go-Go Gadget Arms!"

3355. Nor does he shout "Gum-Gum Pistol!"

3356. He is not Plastic Man..

3357. Seriously, Ketler, where do you get these things?
LugWrench

11-24-05, 03:49 PM		3358. Best not to hassle the artifacer about 'fondling is wand'.
3359. Just because the captain keeps muttering 'we are so screwed' doesnt mean its true.
3360. Okay, maybe its true, but try not to spread the rumor.
3361. I am not allowed to use Unholy or Chaotic Water ballons to make bombing runs on Flamekeep.
DarkWarriorKarg

11-24-05, 04:20 PM		3362. Daelkyr are not to be invited on board.
3363. Even if a Daelkyr makes more sense then the artificer.
3364. Or it promises to evolve Jeala.
3365. Or it promises to put a wind-up key in the warforge's back.
Enuren

11-24-05, 04:29 PM		3366. No, sladdi do not wear codpieces
3367. And no. You cannot stick explosives in it, regardless of the hide/pickpocket/sleight
of hand checks
3368. Gelatinous cudes are NOT edible.
Endless_Helix

11-24-05, 04:31 PM		Cool! Feel free to use anything I've posted.

3362. The Kalashtar Uncarnate is not Invisible Girl.
3363. The Kalashtar Soulknife is not the Flaming Torch.
3364. The warforged is not The Thing.
3365. Do not tell him that he is. Holes in the deck are expensive to repair.
3366. I am not Doctor Doom. What are you guys on? On second thought, I don't want to know...
3367. Doog isn't Lockjaw.
3368. The Warforged isn't the Hulk.
3369. All proceeds of the sales of the Catgirl's personal effects to perverts are now to go to the "Repair and Refurbish Fund". This has absolutley nothing to do with the Soulknife's last tantrum.
3370. The Forgotten Freedom isn't the Fantasti-car. Where d'you get these ideas?
3371. All crew who answered that are officially keelhauled. Permanently.
3372. The blackguard is not Superman.
3373. Do not tell him this unless he is sober.
3374. On second thought... go ahead! I want to see him fly! :devil:
3375. The callous drowboy will not steal the Soulknife's toys. We can't afford another prow. Or a Gangplank. Or a wheel of wind and water.
3376. Look, do you like little old dwarven ladies to get hurt?
3377. No more taunting Vol about her wrinkles. It's not her fault and she's got quite a bite.
3378. No, I will not explain how I know.
3379. All rumors involving Vol, Myself, and what happened in the Crimson Monastery's alcove are not true.
3380. This also includes whatever affair I apparently had with Vol in Fort Bones as well.
rampant

11-25-05, 02:42 AM		(in chalk) 3381. We have pictures from that time in the Mournlands.

3382. You drew those!
Endless_Helix

11-25-05, 11:03 AM		3383. Any and all crewmembers cannot make up any more stories involving Me, Vol, and any location. End of discussion.
(penciled in and covered with eraser marks)
3384. What about that time in Flamekeep? With Vol and Jaela? I've seen the pictures...
3385. Ketler, You're really perverted, and I hate to pop your bubble, but... END. OF. DISCUSSION.
3386. #3383 is to be extended to include, Jaela, The paladin chick, the old dwarf lady, The Lord of Blades, The enlightened Havakhad, Justice (honestly, who made that up?), Tira Miron, and the Changling warshaper (erg...).
(In finger paints)3387. EvEN iF WE caN Proo0ooVe it?
3388. Especially if you can prove it.
Deekin

11-26-05, 01:23 AM		3389. THe Artifacicer is forbidden from making anything from the following link
http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=246010
Dex

11-26-05, 05:40 AM		3390. He is especially banned from making things that even he doesn't know what they do.

3391. I will commision him to make a +1 backscratcher

3392. None of the crew will make any suggestions that I got fleas from the catgirl.

3393. Especially now
Zemyla

11-26-05, 11:57 AM		I give you permission to use Sien. :D
Charles Phipps

11-26-05, 09:35 PM		Now for some Gundam related jokes!

3394. No, we are not a rogue military crew sent by the Throneholders to fight the Seperatist colonies.
3395. Who are not named Zeon....
3396. Or the White Fang....
3397. Or ZAFT.
3398. No, you cannot have a Gundam.
3399. Or a giant warforged you can crawl into to fight with massively affective attachments as its soaked in adamantine.
3400. Even if the Warforged is up to being modified.
3401. No, Jaela does not have a brother whose our mortal enemy that wears a mask.
3402. No, her brother would not be the leader of the group to especially hunt us down either.
3403. Nor does he have a crew of less talented warforge titan pilots.
3404. No, you were not raised by a weird scientist to be the ultimate killing machine and that's why you have no feelings.
3405. No, Jaela will not find that hot.
3406. Correction: I've just recieved a letter from Jaela and apparently she writes lots of Gundam yaoi.
3407. It's better if you don't know what yaoi means....
3408. Why? Because it won't help you get her. Believe me.
3409. No you can't have a Gundam.
3410. No, our enemies are not really misunderstood like we are.
3411. No, we cannot "Just give peace a chance."
3412. No, there's no special country that's pacifistic that we can seek refuge while hiding from the Throneholders.
3413. The Artificer will recieve 20 of the best from the lash for building a Haro.
3414. No, we cannot build a Space Station colony....
3415. ESPECIALLY TO JUST DROP IT ON KHOVAIRE.
3416. I am not allowed to refer to myself as a "New Type"
3417. I am not allowed to wear a priest's uniform...
3418. And refer to myself as "The God of Death."
3419. ...even if I am a Priest of the Keeper.
3420. I am not allowed to be a Coordinator.
3421. ...Or the "Next Stage in Human Evolution."
3422. We will not build a Solar Canon to fire at the planet.
3423. Jaela is NOT a lost princess of said pacifist country. Nor can we score points if we prove it.
3424. It is wrong to create 14 year old Warforged Titan pilots.
3425. Though in two years that will be less creepy for Jaela like.
3426. "SIEG ZEON!" is not an appropriate response for any statement I make.
3427. No, you still can't have a Gundam...
3428. Or build one.
3429. Have your scientist father have constructed it....
3430. Stole it from the military....
3431. Or cast "Enlarge" on the warforged enough times....
3432. Even if he REALLY wants to be a Gundam.
3433. The Twelve aren't the Rommerfellar Foundation....
3434. Even if they are a bunch of really weirdly dressed noblemen whom want to start wars to take over the world.
3435. ....okay that DOES sound a bit suspicious now that you mention it.
3436. No YOU can't wear the Mask to be the crazy Pilot.
3437. ...except for you V because we know about the burn thing.
3438. No, the Day of Mourning wasn't caused by a Colony Drop.
3439. Chaz was not a Cyrean Avenger! Nor was Milardo Peacecraft! They're the same guy for Flame's sake!
3440. No we can't get lost in the desert for dubious reasons to justify a bunch of character develops. We're a frickin AIRSHIP.
3441. I don't care if you're a pilot and you like 12 year olds, you're still on Chaz.
jamez

11-26-05, 11:11 PM		3442. You are not allowed to put squids on your heads so others will believe we are Illithids, the smell is not worth it.
VagueZ

11-27-05, 01:41 AM		Then I will do a 'Slayers' theme.

3443. No one, ever, is to invent a spell called the Dragon Slave.

3444. Nor the Ragna Blade.

3445. And for pity's sake, stay away from the Giga Slave.

3446. Because it might destroy the universe, that's why.

3447. No, that does not count as a mitigating factor to lower the spell level.

3448. Just because I am a swordsman, does not mean I am dumb as a box of rocks.

3449. The warforged is not Zelgadis.

3450. Anyone who summons any being that could be termed the Lord of Nightmares to their physical body will be keelhauled until this is no longer the case.

3451. Just because we tend to leave a path of tremendous destruction behind us everywhere we go does not count as copyright infringement.

3452. Nor does running from any mess we cause.

3453. Nor does having a mildly insane and not altogether helpful girl as our healer.

3454. The warforged is not trying to hunt down and kill his grandfather/great-grandfather to restore himself to his human body. It is wrong to convince him of this.

3455. Just because I have a Brilliant Energy lonsword does not mean it is the Sword of Light.

3456. Nor do I activate its power by yelling "Light, come forth!"

3457. It is not the only mortal weapon that can hurt the warforged.


And the fic is ~2K words long at the moment. Excerpt:

"I have an announcement!" Captain Jarlot declared, and the hubbub of voices died down a little. "Around eleven hundred hours this morning (five minutes ago, for you guys), the Forgotten Freedom received a distress call, from Flamekeep. It seems a person or persons unknown has infiltrated it, disabled the guards, and has taken hostage the Pontiff. Our ship is the closest available force that has not already been neutralized. I think we all understand what we must do, yes?"

"YES!" chorused the crew, in a rare show of solidarity.

Jarlot smiled; for once, this rag-tag crew was all on the same page, and they could do something properly heroic that wasn't to fix something they had caused. "And what is that?"

Suddenly, the solidarity broke down. "Kidnap her back!" "Kill them all!" "Ignore it!" "Bribe them into telling us how they did it!" "Join them!"
Charles Phipps

11-27-05, 03:06 AM		Excerpt:

Wonderful! Perfect!
rampant

11-28-05, 02:45 AM		plz remember to give us a link when you finish this is gonna be eppus amazing

3458. No, reading the fic does not grant an you an insight bonus to ac.
Thwyvylyn

11-28-05, 10:10 AM		3459. Any character who buys a Faerun splatbook the next time we are in town will be keelhauled, vigorously.

3560. Same for anyone who comes up with a Valenar Elf named Virrtz Vo' Irden or anything remotely similar in concept.
LugWrench

11-28-05, 01:56 PM		3561. Mummies are not to be stared at.
3562. I dont care if the Necro chick made them 'easy on the eyes'.
3563. Pulling on a mummy's wrapping will not make him spin around like a top.
3564. Stop telling the redshirt this.
3565. Okay, maybe tell him one more time.
JulesCARV

11-28-05, 05:30 PM		To whatever extent the character I suggested (the old dwarf lady, Martha Grayholm) is usable, feel free to use her.
Zemyla

11-28-05, 07:12 PM		3566. Re: 1576: We will not tell the monk about the human artificer 5/renegade mastermaker 10/reforged 3.
urial angel of death

11-28-05, 10:12 PM		"Squishy"
adult neogi

While his really name is impossible to vocalize in common the crew have all decided to call this neogi squishy.
They found him in the mournlands in a large mechanical spider(crashed). He was the only survivor of the entire neogi crew. When he came tto on the ship he immediatlt began offering a price on the ship's "helm". In order to help him several of the crew brought forward helmets from their armor, wondering all the while why he offered several thousand gold. Of course this only made him irritated, and realise he was on a groundling world.
Squishy eventually found a place on the ship as treasurer and book keeper. He stays with the ship partially because they are his best bet of escaping Eberron, and partially because his disgust for neogi of this world, serving the dealkyr and claiming to be desendents of dwarves.
like many on boards the Forgotten Freedom he wishes to kidnap Jaela. He however wants her as a puppet ruler of an entire country, Thrane. The only person he has ever enslaved on Eberron is the red shirt.
rampant

11-29-05, 03:25 AM		3567. Stop playing Haz'rack with Squishy.

3568. He's the one whos in charge of your paycheck.

3569. Also... I see you found out about the poison spitting.
(entirely too pleased)
LugWrench

11-30-05, 12:49 AM		3570. Until further notice, the captains boots are NOT a spittoon.
3571. The captains sock and underwear drawer is NOT an ashtray.
3572. Open-pit barbecues on the main deck are forbidden.
3573. The redshirt is NOT to be used for target practice.
3574. Five bucks says I can hit him from here.....
rampant

11-30-05, 03:26 AM		3575. All right but, double the gold if I use the neogi.
(can't leave poor guy alone)
Calibim

11-30-05, 10:14 AM		Tony Quarrel aka Bolt-Tooth Tony; Human Rouge 2/ Fighter 2

A former enforcer of Jimmy “The Hammer”, Tony received his namesake from shakedown gone sour in which Tony was pierced by 9 crossbow bolts….in one sitting. Tony survived the battle and even had two of the bolt tips molded into gold to replace two front teeth he lost in the fight. Jimmy was not so lucky. Now with out a boss Bolt-Tooth Tony has opted to join the crew of the Forgotten Freedom.

“Ah like it ah lot ‘ere. 3 squares ah day, and nevah ah dull blood-eh moment, ah tell ya. Thumpin skulls in Sharn was fun and all, but I felt like branchin out, know what ah mean Guv. Yah, the wayz ah seez it, the Freedom’s ah good career move for someone of my particular talents.

I, my son, specialize in “Comprehensive Pummelings”.

What?

Are ye daft?

I beat sense into a people, ya thick wump!! Blood-eh hell, ah hates it when I have to spell it out ta people. Save ya breath for kewling ya pies, don’t be trying to apologize now.

Yep the Freedom’s allowed me to travel to exotic locales, meet new and exciting peoples….and box their freakin ears, eh?!? Ah thump some head… we get some gold…then I get sorted out. Sniff Yeah, son ah got a right good gig ‘ere.

Now if you’ll excuse, ah had the chili earlier and ah have to go see a man about ah Horrid Dawg….” ~ Bolt-Tooth Tony
Kinger

11-30-05, 12:48 PM		I was wondering how long it would take us to come up with a Snatch reference. Kudos. :)

3576. If we're going to use pigs to dispose of humanoid remains, we're going to use more than one. Seriously, the one pig we've got is so fat it's a dead giveaway.
Zemyla

11-30-05, 01:19 PM		3577. You cannot play a monk/warlock/enlightened fist and call yourself a Saiyan.
3578. You cannot play a warforged warlock, paint yourself red and gold, and call yourself Iron Man.
Calibim

11-30-05, 01:40 PM		I was wondering how long it would take us to come up with a Snatch reference. Kudos. :)

.

No prob, Guv. Old Bolt-Tooth Tony is 'ere

3579. Ah’ight ya wankers, for the last time, we are not painting the Forgotten Freedom “a nice shade of Periwinkle Blue”. I don’t care how much yer Mum would like it.

3580. The next person who mentions it is getting fed to the pigs….after we pry them from the keel.

No move out ya silly sods...before "Zee Emerald Claw" get 'ere
Kinger

11-30-05, 01:58 PM		Thranish the Ring of Fire manager and his assistant Tommy are marching home to Sharn after meeting "friends" in Droaam. Tommy opens his coat in the heat and Thranish spies something.
Thranish pulls aside Tommy's coat. "Oy, 'old up. Whassat?"
Tommy looks down. "It's me belt, Thranish."
"No," says Thranish, "There's a crossbow in ya trowsers. Wha's a loaded crossbow doin' in ya trowsers?"
"S'fer protection!"
"Protection? From whah?" scoffs Thranish, mockingly taking on a distinct foreign accent. "Zee Karrnathi?"


Oh those cheeky adventurers, always walking around with loaded crossbows in thier pants.
"Wha's ta stop it blowin ya bollocks off every time you sit down?"
Salookanana

12-01-05, 12:24 AM		Three wishes list

Captain Jarlot

1. To keelhaul all the idiots in the crew. Twice! And a spiked keel!
2. For them to listen to the damn list for once!
3. COMPLETE WORLD DOMINATION!

Doog
1-3 All the women the Trouser Titan can hold! Hachachacha!!

V
1. Jaela
2. Jaela!
3.JAAAAEEEEELLLLLAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

The Warforged
1. For people to tell me the stuff that they are told not too.
2. Explanations of why people around me are keelhauled
3. A heart from the wonderful wizard

Marish
1. A big bowl of catnip
2. A masterwork kitty litter box
3. A charisma boosting diamond studded collar

The artificer
1. The resources to make a warforged for Jaela with plug suit...
2. The resources to make the ship a Transformer
3. HAMMERGUN!

Michael McCellan
1. An everfull mug of ale
2. A harem of succubi
3. A really cool evil sword
"Why have the whole rotten world when you can have the best things in it?"

Lina
1. The hammer of healing to double in power
2. To find out who is committing all those horrible crimes in every town the Forgotten Freedom is in
3. For all the misguided members of the crew to all become LG.

Old Dwarfen lady
1. Well, its drafty in here....
2. Where did that yarn go?
3. I am low on chicken...

Necro Chick
1. The idiots to all die so they can become my zombie slaves!
2. To have the drunken blackguard stop asking if I'm a necrophiliac!
3. See number one


3581. No wish spells. EVER
Charles Phipps

12-01-05, 02:47 AM		http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010511

The inspiration for our Paladin Lisa. Also, probably how Doog introduced her to the rest of the gang.

3582. I'm not going to punish whomever used the Apocalypse Stone from selfsamemodule.....I just want to know who destroyed Xen'drick.
Straylight

12-01-05, 03:34 AM		Ah... the +5 Spellstoring Merciful Pervet-bane Warhammer. Such a wonderful item to give the CHA 22 NPC Paladin chick in a game full of lechers and fools, particularly when loaded with a Cure Critical Wounds.
Zeth

12-01-05, 03:40 PM		Getting into holiday spirit...these are based more off my group than these clowns, but hey!

3583: The Aerenal cleric is not a christmas elf.
3584: Neither is the other Aerenal.
3585: OR the Valenar warrior.
3586: And the half-elf isn't one either. DEAL WITH IT.
3587: The shifter is a cat, not a reindeer, and the sorcerer is forbidden from trying to get her to dress up as one.
Thrincold

12-01-05, 04:05 PM		Wish list from Thrincold:

1: Stash all the loot he stole from other crew members before they find out its gone.

2: Blame the warforged, Doog, or any other low intellegence ship crewman for the thefts.

3: Take over the ship, use it for a bid of world domination.

4: Become a god. Or atleast something near as powerful.

I know I still need to flush him out but he's free for anyone to use. The best way I can describe him is a self-serving, impetuous, shifty, psychopath. He hates everyone equally. Everyone is inferior to him, for whatever reason he can come up with.

His entire time being played by me, I went through parites like water. The others would all seem to die, and Thrin would be the only one left standing. Made him very rich and made looting friendly corpses so common for him the other players started making their players relatives to get their stuff back.
urial angel of death

12-01-05, 05:44 PM		Squishy's wish list
1. for everone to stop calling me Squishy
2. a major helm
3. a collection of mind control devices
4. i want to change the order of my wishes
VagueZ

12-02-05, 01:16 AM		Jam's wish list:

1) A better AC

2) More HP

3) For people to start taking his wild claims of power seriously.
rampant

12-02-05, 02:15 AM		Chalky's wish list:
1. to eat squishy
2. to eat pholly
3. to cover the ship in moonspeaker glyphs in holiday colors

3588. Goddammit we are not putting big red and green moonkspeaker glyphs all over the ship, the anduarians hate us enough already.

3589. Stop tying squishy to the top of the tree.

3590. Why is there a tree... don't answer that.

3591. What all this about presents?

3592. Stop tying pholly to the top of the tree.

3593. The warforged is not a tree stand.

3594. You know the drill.

3595. I'm not an ornament.

3596. I'm not wearing that.

3597. I'm not this santa person.

3598. At least when they called me batman the costume was cool.

3599. No, that does not mean I'm batman.

3600. I'm still not santa.

3601. Why is smig running around in deer shape with his nose painted red?

3602. For crying out loud i'm not santa.
Verenal

12-02-05, 02:19 PM		3603. Ketler isn't Santa either.

3604. Especially not to get Jaela to sit on his lap.

3605. There is no santa on this ship.
Calibim

12-02-05, 03:28 PM		Bolt-Tooth Tony’s Wish list.

1. A +3 Repeating Light Cross Bow with a Ironwood Stock and gold inlaid Mother of Pearl Grip
2. Ale
3. Wh*res
4. Wh*res bringing me ale
5. Me two front teeth

3606. I’m getting that blood-eh Crossbow, you got that!

3607. No, ah will not shoot my eye out. And stop calling me “kid”.

3608. It is not funny to dare the redshirt to stick his tongue to the metal bands on the mast when is freezing out.

3609. Ok yes it is.

3610. Whoever started in with these “carols” is getting that tree shoved up their bum… sideways….ornaments and all…I don’t care if squishy IS still tied to it

3611. Seriously though guv, why IS there ah tree with ornaments on the deck?
Salookanana

12-03-05, 02:11 AM		3612. Its a great place to hide contraband goods that we're smuggling!
3613. Due to last week's "Incident" only those who have a high wisdom score and are spell casters are allowed Wands of Fireball.
3614. Also: Shooting fireballs at the engine does not help
3615. Nor does shooting fireballs at our crew
3616. You may not tell people that delayed blast fireballs are really candy. I still can't get the chunks out of my coat...
3617. Magic Missle is NOT to be used as a fly swatter
3618. Bards and Sorcs are not allowed to say "I'm so sexy reality bends around me"
3619. Nor can Sorcs say "Soccerors do it more times per day"
3620. No taunting the Wizard by saying "Oh, Mr. Feeblemind, cant remember your own spells with out a book?"
3621. We keelhaul dual scimitar weilding drow on sight.
3622. We keelhaul kender twice
3623. We don't let kobold psions on the ship...
3624. You CAN NOT worship Pun Pun
3625. The artificer cannot make febreeze
3626. Or Sunny D
3627. There is no cleric domain of "Min/Maxxery" or "Twinkery"
3628. You cannot make fun of the Book of Exhalted Deeds as the "Handbook for booring losers"
3629. Too loudly
3630. Michael is no longer allowed to use the Book of Vile Darkness as a guide to having "A damn good time"
3631. The first one to make a joke about going down Jaela's chimmeny gets the keel and salt rubbed in their wounds.
3632. You cannot paint the bottom of the ship with the following:
Smoking monkeys giving the finger *Looks squarly at Michael* As cool as it is, we just can't
A "Half sized model" of the "Trouser Titan" *Sighs at Doog*
Lewd pictures of Jaela *Half the crew...*
Wanted ads for ladies of the night *Most all of the crew*
Pictures advertising the cat girl, along with hourly rates *We have hand outs for a reason!*
Bull's Eyes
"Our captain sucks!"
3633. It shall forever remain as the Batman symbol!
3634. Don't ask why!
LugWrench

12-03-05, 02:48 AM		3635. Pholly will figure out the alchemy thing.
3636. Under penalty of death.
3637. The crew will stop singing the song "Pholly, the redshirt peon"
3638. While he is in the room.
3639. The wizard will refrain from casting Evard's Black Tentacles in the captains latrine.
3640. Then at least stop casting it 5 times in one day.
3641. I must not Clone Santa Claus.
3642. Forget the traditional milk and cookies. This year Santa wants a beer and the catgirl.
3643. I am not allowed to use a Helm of opposite alignment on Santa.
3644. Though the captain is a bit of a blockhead, his name is not Charlie Brown.
3645. None of us are 'the famous Wolrd War I flying ace', and our nemesis is not 'the Red Baron'.
Charles Phipps

12-03-05, 03:10 AM		3646. We are not the cast of Lost.
3647. If we were, I would certainly not be Locke....
3648. Despite being crazy, wanting domination over the island, and probably having lived an office drone life before being a captain.
3649. Marish is not Kate despite being a crimminal every guy on the isla...err ship wants.
3650. V is not Sawyer because everyone hates him....
3651. Especially given the fact V is an anarchist wanted in every single nation on Eberron.
3652. Speaking of which, V will refrain from making grandiose entrances next to Gargoyles on rooftops
3653. Yes, HE'S THE GUY WHOSE NOT BATMAN.
3654. Lisa is not Ana Lucia despite being the woman that no one likes.
3655. We're not castaways because we haven't crashed the airship...
3656. ...this month.
3657. Ketler only wishes he was a Hobbit looking basist for Drive Shaft....
3658. Which is not a dirty name for a band.
3659. ...Even if he's addicted to Dreamlily.
3660. Pholly is not Hurley because....err.....ummmm....
3661. Michael is not Sayid because he's the only one who can seemingly accomplish things with our preferred device (the sword)
3662. V is forbidden from attempting to rid the world of all Evil.
3663. Especially since that might remind Lisa that it should start with this boat.
3664. It is wrong to sell the kindly dwarf lady to lonely Mror Hold slavers.
3665. Even if they are her family.
HammerHeart81

12-03-05, 10:45 PM		3666. The Lord of Blades will not transform himself into a hand crossbow.
3667.Nor a battle wagon
3668.Or a T-Rex
3669.or even a dragon.
Deekin

12-04-05, 01:34 AM		3670. The crew will refrain of edition the numbers to make the captin look bad
3671. Anyone who does so will be used to clean the paint off the ship
3672. I have a headband of detect thoughts, I know what you are thinking
3673. You may not even think about the Pontiff
3674. Ewwww.......
3675.Yes, the airship does radiate overpowering evil.
3676. No, it is not my fault.
3677. The artifcer will refrain from expeimenting in new kinds of elemental binding.
3678. Especialy vacume elemental in the tolets
Missekat

12-04-05, 09:49 AM		3679. And as soon as the healer has fixed me up to i can walk again, the vacuumised toilet that WAS made will be dismatled!

3680 She says I'll still be able to procreate.

3681 YES that is a good thing!! Who said that!!
rampant

12-05-05, 12:39 AM		the whole frarken crew of course
Phantomcrossing

12-05-05, 03:44 PM		3682. You are not allowed to convince people you are a Kalashthar by simply not wearing a shirt.

3683. You are not allowed to use a decanter of endless water to hold a wet t-shirt contest.

3684. Do not fabricate several hundred alchemist fires in a minor creationed glass sphere and leave it somewhere until the glass ceaces to exist.

3685. Do not attempt the above with acid.

3686. Especially not in places crowded with people we don't want to kill...yet.

3687. Do not attempt the above with catnip and in Marish's room.

3688. No one is allowed to graft, or commission the grafting of, fire elementals to sharks to give them laser vision.

3689. There is a spoon, but we damn well won't tell the cooky where it is, its a murlonds spoon, the kind that makes endless gruel...

3670. You will not use the spell "alter memory" to make the captain think something happened with Vol.

(I had to delurk just for this thread)

so'okay take a pot shot at a crewman?

Norbaz the Cooky
Rouge 5/ Assassin 1
Half Giant
Lawful Evil

Born in Xen'drik after an unfortunately captured adventurer found himself at the mercy of a female hill giant, Norbaz was lucky enough to be raised by his father in sharn. Norbaz, despite his size, is adept at being silent and going unnoticed, to which he frequently uses to casually enter the proximity of a conversation without anyone knowing they're there for a good twenty minutes. As ships cooky he spends most of his time making sure the ships food stocks are all still good, and relatively unpoisoned. When he does find poison food, he usually takes a moment to remind himself what ship he is on, and that it is likely he himself may have done the poisoning and simply forgotten about it.
Norbaz does what he is paid to do, usually this involves killing people discreetly or making sure the crew of the forgotten freedom can eat for another day.
He enjoys drinking and can find himself easily sitting in on the black guard's and the half orc's conversations, even when they finally notice him. He will never speak unless spoken to first, and will respond to negative comments about himself made by people who don't realize he is behind them with the cracking of his knuckles. On occassion he asks the artificer for some magical equipment to help in his primary duty as ship's cook.
He desses appropriately to his current assignment (a sloppy and stained cooks outfit with apron) (a black body suite with goggles and helm) (a vest covered in cooking cutlery, plus two badoliers, two boot sheaths, and two wrist sheaths). He is loyal to the captain and willing to make friends with anyone, but is usually a bit slow to do so as his first reaction to any friendships or relationships with anyone may eventually intail him having to kill them.
His weapon of choice is an adamantine dagger, and he wishes to save up to buy an adamantine cookery set, because they'll actually survive a week on this ship.
In short- reserved, silent, deadly, a decent cook, and is often found placing expired leftovers in the catapult ammunition stack.
Probably trades recipes with the old dwarf lady...and tries to humor her by wearing the sweater...but we all know that just ends with wasted yarn.
Endless_Helix

12-05-05, 05:14 PM		Ajihad's Wishlist

1. An explanation of how to smite the trouser titan of legend. :p
2. All the insipid little half breeds to DIE, and the Dark to take over, with me in charge! *insane laughter*
3. A new rocking horse, as Chalky broke the last one.

3671. Do not bomb Aurala. it's just going to make her angry.
3672. Do not mention blood at every oportunity in front of Kaius. He'll just look at you quizzically.
3673. We are not having roast Fastieth for dinner tonight; the halfling will be angry at loosing his pet.
Always-Late

12-05-05, 08:59 PM		3674: You may not bind elementals in hollow spheres painted red and white and call them Pokeballs.

3675: And even if you do, throwing them won't make them come out.
rampant

12-06-05, 01:27 AM		3676. Trollgut does not, make a good rope. It does however make an excellent bungee cord.
*Crew Smiles and small children accross the multiverse start crying*
(ok guys you take it from here)
Salookanana

12-06-05, 02:14 AM		3677. Trollgut is not the best dental floss around

3678. In the UNLIKLY event we get invited to/ crash a costume party you may not show up to any noble's costume party in the guise of

3679. The trowser titan

3680. Evil outsiders

3681. Pontiffs

3682. Those Flamer Palidins (And NO pink swords!!)

3683. Any royals we hate

3684. The captian

3685. Dead versions of people you dislike

3686. ESPECIALLY if they are the ones hosting said party

3687. Batman

3688. The warforged

3689. Mr. T

3690. Running around and cussing out people in Abyssal, while funny, is no longer permited after a certain crewman did this in the presence of both the said pontif and Flamer Palidins.
Quoriil

12-06-05, 11:12 AM		3691. No rituals will be attempted to grant the Trouser Titan "fiendish potency". This goes double when you get the idea from some guy named "Dusty".
LugWrench

12-06-05, 05:02 PM		3692. Until further notice, making moonshine is forbidden.
3694. Mainly because Pholly keeps using the stills to make his alchemical crap.
3695. The warforged is NOT a distillery.
3696. His name is NOT Jack Daniels.
3697. The ninja is not named Hong Kong Phooey.
Crystalforged

12-06-05, 11:28 PM		Kanatash's wish list
1. No more leaches mama, no more leaches mama, no more leaches mama... :twitch:

2. A better insane/creepy laugh :evillaugh

3. For the fabric of space and time at their most basic level to break down causing the universe as we know it to unravel for the simple pleasure of hearing the sound reality itself makes when it snaps like a twig :eek:


The Crew's wish list for Kanatash
1. For him to stop following them

2. For him to stop being so insane

3. For him to be less creepy



On to the list...
3698. there are no such thing as pokemon

3699. or "asian battle monsters"

3700. if there was one it would not be called pikachu

3701. or Ling-Ling

3702. if they existed they would not come from Rierda

3703. because Rierda is not asia

3704. if they existed they would be twisted and insane creations of the Delkyr

3705. created to take of the minds of prepubescent children across Eberron

3706. wait a second, Jeala is...

3707. whaterver you were about to suggest is not allowed


And now some rules inspired by south park...
3708. Aurla is not Barbra Streisand

3709. even if her singing really is that bad

3710. her goal is not to find the the Diamond of Pantios

3711. so that she can become mecha Streisand

3712. if she did Leonard Maltin, Sidney Poitier, and Robert Smith will not show up to stop her
Cobu

12-07-05, 02:34 AM		3713. you will not combine the control light power and darkvision just so you can say "I'm Batman".
LugWrench

12-07-05, 02:55 AM		3714. We control the horizontal.
3715. We control the vertical.
3716. We are in deep trouble.
3717. I am not allowed to get Santas reindeer drunk on Christmas eve.
3718. I am not allowed to spike Jaelas Egg Nog.
3719. I am not allowed to doctor Jaelas candy cane.
3720. I am not allowed to spike the captains egg nog.
3721. But, what the hell, Ill do it anyway.
Dex

12-07-05, 03:54 AM		3722. You may not blame things you do on purpose by saying "... but the Draconic Prophecy made me do it!"

3723. The mages amongst the crew will stop writing 'I have prepared explosive runes this morning' in the bottom of my coffee mug.

3724. Or on the back of the loo door.
rampant

12-07-05, 04:16 AM		oh come none of you had any ideas for what these screwballs would do with a bungee
*SHAME*

3725. Tying squishy with troll gut doesn't make it a yo-yo.

3726. Tying people with troll gut then kicking them into the air to get slammed back onto the ground even harder, or to get bounced back into the air via the boot, is prohibited.

3727. Unless I'm invited.

3728. And not the poor sap who gets kicked.

3729. New punishment : Any one caught messing with the kids new rocking horse will be tied to the keel with a long trollgut rope. The ship will then travel at full speed at low altitude for as long as I damned please. Then it will come to a complete stop, very abruptly. This will be repeated until we need the rope.

3730. Hey wait minute when did the kid get a new rocking horse i thought this christmas thing happened on the 25th.

3731. Marrish found the presents didn't she.

last call for bungee jokes
VagueZ

12-07-05, 10:13 AM		3732. It is not acceptable to use Pholly and low-altitude flying to test how springy troll guts are.

3733. No, nor any other punching-bag crew member.

3734. And certainly not me.

3735. What are you doing with the little old dwarf lady? Knock it off!

3736. Do not disturb casters while they're preparing spells by shouting "Use the Force!"

3737. None of Eberron's moons are actually space stations.

3738. The warforged is not versed in millions of forms of communication. Usually, we're lucky to get him to use any form that isn't 'hitting it'.



((And the fic is being re-started... because the old version ERASED ITSELF.))
Phantomcrossing

12-07-05, 02:46 PM		3738: Do not cast invisibility on a blood spiker and place it in the following locations: The privy, the captain's chair, or anyplace else the captain is likely to sit.

3739: There will be no blessing or cursing of the ship's drinking water to make holy or unholy water.

3740: The above rule is abridged in the following extenuating circumstances, lots of undead want to hurt us, lots of fiends want to hurt us, lots of celestials want to hurt us.

3741: You can't count the ship's necromancer's undead as "undead that want to hurt us".

3742: No reading aloud from strange books in a language you can't understand, but an alphabet you can read.

3743: Explosive Runes shall not be cast upon pieces of post to other crew members or people who we don't want to further **** off.

3744: There will be no tricking of new crewmembers that there is a cover charge to eat in the galley...unless the captain gets a cut.

3745: Hand of the Mage is not a toy.

3746: No selling fake Pontiff hats.
LugWrench

12-07-05, 02:56 PM		3747. I do not have "Powers of Aetheism"
3748. My archnemesis is not Jaela.
3749. Even though she wouldnt mind slapping me around once or twice.
3750. I will not make any joke to the necromancer chick invovling the words bone, bones, or boned.
3751. She still has the (reanimated) remains of the last person to try that.
3752. The captain already knows we are a bunch of cretinous yahoos.
3753. But its still fun to point it out and watch him melt down.
3754. I must not ask Marrish for a 'warm, fuzzy' feeling.
3755. I must not hassle Marrish about not shaving her legs.
3756. I must not mention the Noodle Incident.
prorider

12-07-05, 06:08 PM		3757: I will not use donkeys with blast disks in the saddle bags as a medieval terrorist car bomber.
3758: Shouting 'lets do this. LEEEEEROY JENKINS.' is not allowed. Especially when you have been planning the attack for the last half hour.
Endless_Helix

12-07-05, 06:23 PM		3758: Do not tie troll guts to the elemental ring.
3759: Just because it's springy doesn't mean that troll guts are harmless.
3760: Do not sell tickets to kids and tie a slip knot around them with troll guts. On top of that you will not push said kids off of a tall building or airship.
3761: Even if I'm allowed to watch.
3762: Do not cast sepia snake sigil on the " Welcome to Sharn!" sign.
3763: The Necromancer will not try to sacrifice Pholly or the halfling to gain power over the realm of flesh.
3764: The Blackguard will not mail alcohol of any sort to the pontiff. That underage drinking scandal was a bit much...
3765: Never offer the warforged a "hurts donut". It's just really dumb.
3766: Doog will not ask the necromancer for a graft that improves the "trouser titan's" performance.
3767: We do not have an "Amoire of Invincibility"
3768: The Trust should not just be killed on principle.
3769: Marish will stop threatening to teach me about "feral pleasures"; I'm not sure I want to know. It sounds painful.
walker on the horizon

12-07-05, 07:24 PM		3770: repeat mage hands dont go there or feel that.
3771: do not cast revers gravety on the poop deck.
3772: or on the letrins
3773: do not cast fire ball on the ship you will be kellhald
3774: do NOT cast spells with fire magic in or on the ship
3775: DO NOT NOT cast iviblilety and then goint the grilslocker room.
3776: Al let the necro chick find a punishment for you and you may die.
3777: what the necro chick dos with the men zobies is her bissness.
3778: dont even go there.
3779: hay what are you doing with the necro chick (barff)
3780: You will now tare my eyes out.
walker on the horizon

12-07-05, 07:30 PM		o man yall skiped 660-669 no 666
LugWrench

12-07-05, 11:01 PM		3781. I must not give the necro chick a 'wet willie'
3782. I am not allowed to give one to the paladin chick, either.
3783. Marish seems to like them a bit too much.
3784. Its a bit disturbing, actually.
3785. House Sivis is not ComStar.
Salookanana

12-07-05, 11:15 PM		The Forgoten Freedom arrives in a city

At the docks...
Jarlot- I'm looking for some work done on my ship
Expert- Sure, what do you need?
Jarlot- Well, the keel needs work
Expert- *looks at it* Wow, what did you do to this thing?!
Jarlot- Half the crew... Hey that reminds me, how much would it cost to add spikes on the keel?


Lisa- So long, crew mates, I am off to pray at a temple and try to find those criminals who seem to follow us and leave a trail of destruction
V- Yeah, good luck with that. Oh! Can you pray for Jaela for me?
Lisa- Uh... no.
V- Damn


Doog- Alright, I'm going to find some ladies for the Titan! Hachachacha!
Ajihad- Ah, the elusive Titan you serve! I wish to slay it! Direct me to it!
Doog- Um... Ur... The warforged knows!
*Runs off*

At a tavern
Michael- Lets see, we are running low on cannon fodder, so i better wrangle up some corpses...
*Casts detect good*
* Wrangles up the non glowy people*
Necro Chick (Andrea- Oh, is this a gift for me? I was running low on subjects
Michael- Nah, these are redshirts! We are running out, remember?
Andrea- Oh yeah...
Michael- I am glad i know how to turn the undead...


Later....

Dwarf- I challange any oone of ye lads ta a drinkin' contest!! I bet a sack o platnum! Any boody brav' enough??
Jarlot- Hm, I'm positive he's a drunken master.
Michael leaves, lost in thought
Jarlot- Huh, I never saw him do that before...
Marish- Yay! I earned 4 platnum today!
Warforged- Doing what?
Marish- What do you think?
Warforged- ...Uh... Being made of flesh?
Marish- ... no...


On the ship

Jam- Being a ship guard stinks. Someone of my awsome powers shouldn't be stuck here!
Dwarf Lady- Oh my there is something odd in my soup pot...
Sien- From the unusuall apperance, is that not the one called Squishy within your apperatus?
Dwarf Lady (Goes on making the soup with Squishy in side it)


Changling- Hey there sailor! Looking for fun
(Doog's mind
Its a changling
FEMALE!! But also a dude...
FEMALE!! Could have been anything
FEEEMAALLEEE!! Or with anything
FEEEMAAAALEEEE!!!)
Doog- Hey good looking!

At the tavern
Michael returns
Michael- Hey dwarf, is that offer still good?
Dwarf Drunken master- Aye lad!
*Michael drinks the dwarf under the table*
Michael- Ill be thankin you for that...*wobbles* Those three bags of platnum there...
Jarlot- Wow, that was amazing.
Marish- Where where you??
Michael- I had to find another drunken master to see if I actually could do it first!



V approches a shady guy
V- I... hear you have pictures... Of pontiffs
Shady guy- Yeah, i got some, 10 gold each
V- Deal, hand them over
*Paladins appear from nowhere*
Paladins- We're the vice squad! You're busted, creepo!
V- Crap.... *Starts throwing alchemist fire and runs*
Kinger

12-07-05, 11:49 PM		The Forgoten Freedom arrives in a city...


Smig appears on deck after being missing for a few hours. He appears no cleaner.
"Oh hello, deary!" chirps the old dwarf lady. "What did you get up to in town?"
"Oh, this and that..." smirks Smig, going below deck with his animal companion wrapped about his arms.

Meanwhile, in the local Jorasco enclave...
"My gods!" cursed the head healer. "Why the blazes are so many people coming down with Red Ache all of a sudden? Did every well in town become tainted in the same day??"

At the local Cannith enclave, an artificer enters his workshop to discover that his entire stock of wonderous items of home convenience has been destroyed by what appears to be Rusting Grasp. He stands, shocked and with jaw agape, until an apprentice appears and tugs the sleeve of his smock.
"Uh, sir?" she stammers, "We might have a problem. Somehow the three fire elementals we have bound throughout the building have been released."
She gets no response from her superior, so she presses further.
"I don't want to alarm you, sir, but this is a big problem! I don't know if you've noticed, but, uh, the room is on fire!!"
She turns and flees. "Run! Save yourself! The elemental fire of judgement and retribution has fallen upon us to punish us for our wicked ways! Repent! Repent!!"
rampant

12-08-05, 12:30 AM		Chalky prowls into the kitchen and sniffs at his dish. The old dwarf lady spoons in some soup. Chalky notices squishy in his bowl, and grins.

Squishy spits and runs. The two reak much havoc in the kitchen and galley as Chalky reshapes his body for speed, reach, and grabbing. The neogi escapes to the rafters, but not before leading the feral changeling through every piece of furniture in the two rooms and over a couple of the slower newbies.
Salookanana

12-08-05, 01:59 AM		"Did you hear about the wells?"
"Yeah! Red ache! Geeze..."
Upon hearing this, Michael heads for the ship

Michael- Hey hippy dude, sup
Smig- What do you want, black guard?
Michael- I know enough about evil and poisoning people to figure out what the cause of that stuff was. And, ya know, you allways rant about the evils of these people and "Coincidentlly" bad stuff happens to them... Seriouslly man, you arent even trying...
Smig- Congradulations... Your point?
Michael- None really... But I do hear you druids have some rocking "Healing" herbs! Gimme! And dont forget, i know plenty about poisons...
Smig- Fine.
Michael- Snoogans! Hey, maybe we could destroy stuff some time!
Smig- You too hate the wicked ways of artifice??
Michael- Nah, i just like breaking stuff with my sword!
Endless_Helix

12-08-05, 06:58 PM		Ajihazi (now everyone knows where I stole this name from... sheesh... Damn you Salookanana! Damn You!) and Marish are talking after a generally unsuccessful attempt at extracting information from the warforged that it didn't have.

Ajihazi: Alas, the warforged knew naught! What am I to do? I must save those infants from explosive death, but to do so I must defeat this montrosity!

Marish: Uh-huh. I think I could give you a few directions, if you're really interested.

Ajihazi: *grabs Marish* You know where this thing hides? Tell me now! TELL ME!

Marish: While I do like it rough and all, this is a little excessive. I mean, are you actually serious, or are you just playing this joke way past it's sell-by date?

Ajihazi: What do you mean?

Marish: *bursts out laughing but stops when she sees his look* I'm sorry (hee hee)... but... I mean... you're actually serious... Oh my gods! You're actually serious!

Ajihazi: What's so funny?

Marish: There are more you know.

Ajihazi: May the Light preserve us!

Marish: Oh yes! Doog's got one, even if it's gross, Ketler's got one, The Changelings can choose to have one, Michael's got one, Jarot's got one, Pholly's got a rather impressive one, but I'm not sure about Khantash...

Ajihazi: By the Light! So many! By the way I'd imagine they go at it, for they are fiends of utmost evil, it's a wonder there is a next generation at all!

Marish laughs uncontrollably.

Ajihazi: What's so humorou... guh...

Marish: *stops laughing* Are you alright?

Ajihazi: *sits on Marish* Tell me story.
Charles Phipps

12-08-05, 06:58 PM		Hey guys, tell me what you think of this one.

Bruce Ki

Lawful Good 9th level Monk

Bruce Ki was raised in an order of Sarlonan Monks (who aren't Asian, they just happen to be Sarlonan) before his order was assassinated by the Dreaming Dark. That was when Bruce Ki vowed revenge and went to live with his Blind Karatai (note that this is Eberron so it's not Karate) teacher in Khovaire whom was then killed before his eyes by the Emerald Claw. Vowing revenge on the Emerald Claw, Bruce Ki eventually found his father and sister in Sharn where he decided to live a normal life for a while. That was when his father was killed by his old student whom happened to be a enforcer for the Boranal Clan with ties to the Aurrum. Alas, the next day his sister was also killed and violated by the Children of Winter. Since that time his romantic life has unfortunately largely consisted of girlfriends murdered by various groups that have only increased his ill-charmed life. This eventually gave rise to Bruce Ki creating "The List" which is basically his black ledger that he writes down all the various people that he has vowed revenge on in and records his work to destroy them.

His battle cries thus include "Are you affiliated with the Emerald Claw/Aurrum/Organized Crime of Sharn/Dreaming Dark/Children of Winter/Lords of Dust/or any other evil organization bent on world conquest or corruption? If so, I come for revenge!" and "That's it! You're on the List!"

Bruce Ki ended up joining the Forgotten Freedom crew because Captain Jarlot is one of the few individuals to have defeated him in blind fighting. Specifically, Bruce Ki put on a blindfold and said he'd serve him if he defeated him in a duel. Captain Jarlot then ordered all of his crew to jump him and beat him senseless. When Bruce Ki removed his blindfold, he saluted Captain Jarlot's amazingly quick and powerful fighting style. As a monk, while he possesses incredible strength and other physical attributes, his wisdom is not exactly towering. Personally, the Captain suspects it has something to do with being hit in the head so many times before. Part of this has to do with the fact that Bruce refuses to wear armor, use weapons, and has to usually be dragged off the battlefield. This combined with the sheer volume of enemies both he and the Forgotten Freedom have piled up have indeed caused some mild head trauma. Amongst the resulting qualities are slurring his speech so that his words don't usually match up with his lips and a tendency to speek in bizarre kones "Your kicks mush have emoshonal contant." "I have mashtered da art of fighting without fighting."

Bruce Ki is one of the few friends of Lisa onboard as he is firmly committed to fighting the cause of injustice. The fact that he's surrounded by a group of viwans (in his pronunciation of the word) doesn't really bother him as he believes they do more good than they cause....which is actually true in large part because of the one time they saved the planet by accidentally crashing a enemy ship filled with smokepowder into an awakening Rajah by accident. The fact that the evil organizations of Eberron also find the Forgotten Freedom loves to pillage them more than anyone else...mostly because they tend to have money....have also given Bruce ample time to achieve miniscule amounts of his revenge. The fact he's also dim enough to not question the captain when he says things like "Don't worry, House Lysander is.....uhh...controlled by demons." also helps.

Bruce's sanity is also somewhat in question as his continued bad healings with no aid of a cleric have left him with some weird abilities such as his shirt flying off of him in his ki chargings before a fight and voices proclaiming things like "FIGHT" whenever he attacks. Some have suggested Dol Dorn has taken him as a personal disciple while others think that he's developed a split personality and some good ventriloquism. He also has started to become delusional as he mentions thinking that he has to go fight Shao Khan or his days with Ryu and Ken.
Salookanana

12-08-05, 07:53 PM		Helix- Heh, I guess I rolled a twenty on that.



Upon seeing the latest addition to the crew Michael pondered "The new guy...
His name is Bruce, lost a lot of people, hates crime and bad people, is good at fighting and extensive martial arts training, but isn't Asian...
OH SWEET HELL!!!! ITS BATMAN!!!!!"
Kinger

12-08-05, 08:10 PM		Upon seeing the latest addition to the crew Michael pondered "The new guy...
His name is Bruce, lost a lot of people, hates crime and bad people, is good at fighting and extensive martial arts training, but isn't Asian...
OH SWEET HELL!!!! ITS BATMAN!!!!!"

Doog leans forward from his sitting position and thumps Michael over the head with his Chain of Command. "Oye! My feet ain't gonna massage themselves! Get back to work!"

EDIT: In retrospect, that wasn't as fitting as possible. Michael is one of the few guys on board that Doog would actually like.
Now, if it were Ketler, or a rookie...
Charles Phipps

12-08-05, 08:18 PM		Doog leans forward from his sitting position and thumps Michael over the head with his Chain of Command. "Oye! My feet ain't gonna massage themselves! Get back to work!"

EDIT: In retrospect, that wasn't as fitting as possible. Michael is one of the few guys on board that Doog would actually like.
Now, if it were Ketler, or a rookie...

*The Captain takes the chain and begins using it on both*

;-)
WrathoftheDm

12-09-05, 12:59 AM		Taken straight from my Eberron Campaign:

3786. In the future, I will no longer participate in conspiracy murder against the Cardinals of Flamekeep.
3787. Even though I am a warforged and seen as property in Thrane, and thus cannot be charged personally for the crimes.
3788. If I am personally responsible for a worldwide tsunami that devastates every costal region and plunges the Eberron into incredible recession spurring the resumption of the Last War, I will say I am sorry. Not hide the evidence from the rest of the crew while whistling nonchalantly.
Salookanana

12-09-05, 02:03 AM		3789. You cannot sunder the ship

3790. You cannot sunder the warforged

3791. You cannot sunder the Chain o' Command

3792. You cannot sunder the pontiff's hat

3793. Sundering Lisa's breastplate is suicidal. Do so at your own risk

3974. But let the rest of us know ahead of time so we can watch!

3975. Sunder my hat and die

3976. Due to recent "incedents" Rods of Wonder are banned

3977. And keelhaul worthy.

3978. And we're keelhaulling the rhinos along with you!

3979. The latrines do NOT have spheres of anhilation in them! We're still saving up for that.

3980. The truth is we dump them out while in flight

3981. There is no way in hell I'm telling you where the dump lever is!
rampant

12-09-05, 02:33 AM		you just jumped 200 rules there
LugWrench

12-09-05, 02:51 AM		Ramp, with a group as screwed up as this, would you expect any less? :D

3982. For the love of the Six, DONT point out missing rules to the captain.
3983. His nerves cant take much more of this.
3984. Its only a coincidence that the clerics curing potions all have "Buckley's" on the lablels. (Canadians know about this stuff.)
3985. Yes, the horrid taste is a subtle form of revenge.
3986. No, you cant trick King Kaius into doing shots of the stuff.
3987. Boranal, on the other hand, is dumb enough to try anything.
3988. Exept for Vol. He isnt quite that stupid.
3989. Until further notice, you are not allowed to spit over the railing.
3990. I wont send the Lords of Dust bags of kitty litter for Christmas, this year.
3991. They arent to fond of us to begin with.
3992. I will stop spiking the captains food with dreamlilly.
3993. Eventually.
Charles Phipps

12-09-05, 02:52 AM		*the first time In a while I've been really inspired is the next post. Tell me if it comes off well*

3790. Shouting SONIC BOOM at me will not shoot a blast that will kill me.

3791. Or reduce my lifebar by 20%.

3792. nor will "Hadokken!"

3793. I will shoot you if you leap in the air and shout "Shoryuken!"

3794. *BANG*

3795. Now that Bruce Ki is dea....

"I'm not quite dead yet."

3796. *BANG*

3797. Getting back to business. With....

"You shot me! You shot me in the arm!"

3798. Oh for Flame's sake...Doog some help here with Vera? V? Michael? Yes...take those bats.

"Ki healing has almost healed me of my wounds. I am alive...but very badly burned."

3799. Now you will see a demonstration of what I like to call Martian Law.

*WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

3800. Now that is resolved....

"Don't...you mean...Martial...Law?"

3801. Sir Demos...Sir Phobus....beat Ki's ass some more.

*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM*

3802. By the Flame Knights of Mars, I said SOME more. He's barely alive enough to kill.

3803. Now by the law of the Sacred Red Planet I am declaring this day to be JARLOT day and further myself to be married to Queen Aurala as well as Emperor of all Galifar, Sarlona, Xen'drick, and Argonessan. May all tremble before my mighty reign!

3804. No, all of these years in this hell hole surrounded by a crew that doesn't respect haven't driven me totally insane. Why do you ask?

3805. What mother? What? But I don't want to kill them!

3806. Of course my mother is here. I'm talking to her right now.

3807. I told you I'd shoot you old *****! Why didn't you believe me! WHYYYYY!?

***

Attention crew of the Forgotten Freedom

Until Captain Jarlot recovers from what V describes to be "The destruction of his prescious bodily fluids by a Red Karrnathian commie conspiracy through the application of flouride to his drinking water...." we shall be temporarily under the command of the first mate.

What do you mean we don't have a first mate?

He killed the first mate? What about the second mate? YOU guys killed him. Uh...huh.

Oh crap.

I guess the Captain is still in command then...

-Ketler

***

3808. Did they tell you why you were sent to terminate my command?

3809. So they said that I'd gone irrevocably insane did they?

3810. You're not a soldier. You're a messanger boy filling our a grocery list.

3811. And you don't see any method do you? HA!

3812. The drums....the DRUMMMMSSSSS

***

ATTENTION CREW OF THE FORGOTTEN FREEDOM

Indications may be that it is better to just lock the Captain up with a bottle of Captain Morgan for a few days and a few Sarlonan hookers. Maybe a cat girl who isn't an insufferable part of the crew...Yes, I'm talking to you Marish! No one understands my beauty because of your distracting them! I'll turn you into snow or seven notes of music *****!

-Andrea

***

3813. For you, meeting Captain Jarlot was the most important day of your life. For Captain Jarlot, it was Tuesday.

3814. Every Jarlot Dollar I print up in my printing press today will be worth 5 Brelish Sovereigns once we've kidnapped their King.

3815. I think the Food Court should be bigger in Jarlotopolis.

3816. I hoped to face The Lord of Blades face-to-face on the battlefield, where we could engage each other in respectful combat. Then I would snap his spine. But why? Why do they still call me a warlord? And mad? All I want to do is to create the perfect warforged soldier. Not for power, not for evil, but for good. Stupid will be the first of thousands. They will march out of my laboratory and crush every adversary, every creed, every nation! Until the world is in the loving grip of the Pax Jarlotia. And peace will reign and all humanity will bow to me in humble gratitude.

Stupid "That was beautiful sir."

3817. Stupid is also promoted to ruler of Breland when the Revolution comes.

3818. YES, the REVOLUTION THAT WILL BE SOON!

3819. Ketler I command you to build me a laser gun on the moon! I shall call it...a DEATH STAR!

"Right Darth."

3820. Why do I want a Death Star? To blow up Eberron of course!

"Why do we want to blow up Eberron? Where we live."

3821. Silence Varlat! I'm doing the talking here! Build me a machine that will make diamonds!

"I thought you wanted a Death Star."

3822. Now I want both!

3823. Preperation A through G were complete failures but Preperation H is a success!

3824. Why is everyone talking about the Gellatinous Cube in the bathroom now?

3825. Why would we codename Preperation H Operation Ice cream?

3826. Oh you didn't say Ice cream.

3827. Isn't the number of the garbage compactor is and R2 can't save Luke in time!

3828. NO I don't expect you to talk! I EXPECT YOU TO DIE!

3829. BEHOLD MY NEWEST WAR MACHINE! 10,000 CLONED JAELAS!

...

"Wait a minute Ketler, this was like the Briar Patch and the Hare wasn't it when you told me that it was mad to make these...."
Phantomcrossing

12-09-05, 09:55 AM		3830. Do not make fun of the captain's madness, if you want to live.

3831. There will be no further attempts to drive him sane through means that would drive a sane person mad. Examples: Spells to induce insanity, leaving him in the mad wood of Areanel, or making him look into a scrying pool keyed to Xoriat.

3832. A fortnight's extra pay to the crewman who can think of an ethical way to deal with the clone Jaela situation.

3833. Keel hauling will be the punishment for those of you to say what I know you're thinking in regards to the previous rule.

3834. Making the captain dress in a pink frilly tu tu is forbidden while he is insane.

3835. While he is asleep he still counts as being insane, in regards to the previous ruling.

3836. The cooky is not allowed to use a dessicating weapon to make jerky...again...there are still broken jaws left over from the last time.
Nurgan_the_drunked

12-09-05, 10:40 AM		*the first time In a while I've been really inspired is the next post. Tell me if it comes off well*
*the first time In a while I've been really Inspired is the next post. Tell me if it comes off well*
3837: you will not imply that the captain is an agent of the Dreaming Dark
3838: Their "baggy clothing" style does not refer to underwear on head

Charles, if that's what happens when you get Inspired, you need to let the quori take you over some more
Crystalforged

12-10-05, 12:50 AM		Originally Posted by what Nurgan read
*the first time In a while I've been really Inspired is the next post. Tell me if it comes off well*
Another posibility occures to me...

Kanatash strokes a red and black eyeball on the back of his hand as it weeps purple blood. "The first step have been taken, oh deranged ones. Their leader has been... converted." The eyeball shifts colors wildly as millions of tiny spiders crawl out through the pupil and form words in the air in front of the eye, "exelent, soon the veil of reality shall be torn asunder and the great truth shall be revealed."


Oh, by the way I may have forgotten to mention that some Delkyr or other powerful creature from Xoriat may or may not have some "small" amount of "influence" on Kanatash. ;)
Salookanana

12-10-05, 02:58 AM		3839. You cant take soul credit for the captain's madness- It was a team effort, so we all deserve the glory

3840. Selling tickets to the see the captain being crazy for 5 silver a pop is banned

3841. Its one gold a ticket!

3842. JAELA'S FOR ALL!!! YAY!!!!

3843. Due to the captains poor health, Michael's weekly mutany plans will be postponed until further notice. It just isnt as funny without him...

3844. Even though he is crazy now, we cant convince the captain he is Batman

3845. But it would be cool if he split up like Two Face!

3846. Kettler! Fetch the acid!

3847. We are going to at least ATTEMPT to cure Captain Jarlot.

3848. But not until we milk this for all its worth

3849. If the captain asks about these additions to the list, blame the warforged
Charles Phipps

12-10-05, 03:53 AM		3850. After a relaxing stay in Arkham Asylum in Gotham City....oh what was that? Sorry, Sharn, I am fully capable of resuming my duties as Captain.

3851. Hehehehe...the fools. Do they not realize I have gazed into the Abyss that has granted me the power of the Dragon Below and shall consume all in a storm of wrath and HELLFIRE?

3852. Hahahaha...and even better the Dragon Below doesn't realize that I have made a deal with Siberys to conquer reality after defeating her foes!

3853. And after that...Here I come Eberron!

3854. What do you mean turning my back doesn't mean you can't hear me?

3855. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE! PEOPLE!

3856. Oh yes, and the first duty on this ship is to point out that I should have pointed out those Jaela Clones are programmed to invincible ninjas who flip out and kill people for no reason?

3857. Huh, 90% of the crew dead huh? Tough. Newlyweds and everything.

3858. Oh yes and I've selected this to be our new mast.

3859. Why yes its the head of a Daelkyr, why?

3860. Oh, you're wondering where I got it? Well....honestly I don't know. Probably something to do with causing the Day of Mourning.

3861. Ignore my confession to that.

3862. In any case, Number 1...ENGAGE.

3863. What do you mean we don't have Warp Drive?

3864. I forbid you from installing one? Damnit! I unforbid it!

3865. In any case, where are all your people's cybernetics? What if Mister Johnson calls?

3866. Oh sorry, I thought we were playing Shadowrun.

3867. Now Now Ninja Jaela. It's not nice to stab V for being a pirate. I don't care if Pirates and Ninjas are mortal enemies.

3868. Jaela Ninja is forbidding from exercising her REAL ULTIMATE POWERZ

3869. That includes her insane anime like cuteness.

3870. Now, we have a new game Citizens. I call it...PARANOIA! I, the All Powerful Captain will give each and every one of the crew his own disintegrator gun and the crew complete authority to kill any other crew member as you see fit.

3871. ....That pretty much turned out like I expected. Thank God I made spare clones of everyone.

3872. By the way, a commendation to Doog who figured out that my insanity was caused by the Dreaming Dark and lured the Quori in question into Stupid where the sheer mindlessness of the Warforged utterly destroyed him. Have any words for us Stupid.

"I like Swords."

3873. Our new god also is Doctor Swordopolis....

3874. Not to be confused with Doctor Who whom was our old God.

3875. Yes, I'm aware Ketler that he's just "The Doctor" and Doctor Who is just the shows name.

3876. Yes, I also know it was only the Doctor's TARDIS that has repeatedly prevented the destruction of Eberron due to our efforts....

3877. No, I don't know who will protect us from the Bloody Daleks if we convert.

3878. There will be no singing the Dalek song before they convert us...

http://artistic-insanity.net/song/daleksong.html

3879. I mean it Ketler!

3880. The Captain is your friend *exterminates Ketler and replaces him with a clone*

3881. From now on our enemies onboard this ship will be clearly defined. Anybody more powerful than us including demons, angels, gods, daelkyr, The Emerald Claw, The Dreaming Dark, the Quori, The Lords of Dust, Cardinal Kronzen, Queen Aurala whom IS a Wicked Witch we found out, El Diablo Robotica, Communists, the Children of Winter, Megatron, Orcus, Bane and Cyric if we ever crossover with Forgotten Realms, Jay and Silent Bob our ex-crew members, the University of Morgraive, Jackie Chan, the color Green, the Korranberg Chronicler, archwizards, nobility, and the Grimus.

3882. The Grimus is the lovable purple friend of Ronald McDonald for your question Ketler-02.

3883. Yes, it's more powerful than the Tarrasque.

3884. To another Ketler-02 question, if the communist is a hot redheaded Soviet Spy we can in fact mark her off the enemy category.

3885. Yes, Batman can beat up Daredevil to settle this age old arguement between Ketler and V.

3886. The Monk is forbidden from making the noise "WOH PAH" every time he hits someone.

3887. The Monk cannot be a Jedi.

3888. Ninja Jaela is forbidden from ending the flirtations of crew by throwing down a smoke ball and disappearing....

3889. Even if I would too under the circumstances.

Anyone want to stat Ninja Jaela?
Endless_Helix

12-10-05, 07:45 AM		Ninja Jaela
Cleric 3/Ninja 5/Shadowbane Stalker 2

Created by an insane Jarlot...
The ultimate enemy of all pirates...
The cutest pontiff in all creation...

IT'S NINJA JAELA!

and you can now see her live on the airship, the Forgotten Freedom for 1 silver pice!

At any one moment Jaela has 15 smokebombs, 200 shuriken with holywater on them, and the ability to cast mirror image on herself 3/day. Why because she's too cool for RULEZ.
Charles Phipps

12-10-05, 07:47 AM		She also carries a huge shuriken BIGGER THAN SHE IS!

Why?

Because she's KYOTE!

;-)

*Ninja Jaela's pony tails stick out of her ninja mask*

Personally, I think the real one learned Mad Ninja Skillz to stop the FF crew from menacing her.
Calibim

12-10-05, 01:12 PM		Long Wang Hung: Human Monk(?)/Rouge(?)

Transported from a plane of existence that is basically a “Humanoid Occupied Landfill” (The HŌL) used to deposit the most despicable of criminals and riff-raff among the Multiverse, Long Wang Hung appeared on the deck of the Forgotten Freedom… fully naked. This caused some amount of drooling from Marish and the Necromancer Chick (Luckily Jaela was below decks at the time). The issuing “catfight” (pun OH so intended) was a sight to see (When exactly did someone install a wrestling ring full of Jell-O™ onto the deck of the Forgotten Freedom? I mean I’m sure somebody would have noticed it before…).

Long Wang preceded to make himself a valued member of the crew with his many “talents” as well his “Bag of Stuff” an item that seems to hold just about ANYTHING one could imagine. To hear Long Wang tell it, the bag is connected to The HŌL. The thing is most of things that come out of the bag are defective in some way, which is why they were in The HŌL in the first place.

One would think that with Long Wang’s abilities and the “Bag of Stuff” that he would try to run things on the Freedom, but he is very happy to take orders from the “Cap’n”. And although he is not much to talk about his stint in The HŌL, Long Wang has this to say “After traversing such delightful locals as ‘The Rusty Razor Ruins’, “The Plains of Discarded Personal Hygiene Products”, and ‘The Diaper Swamps’ this ship and it’s crew are a welcome reprieve…”


Long Wang Hung’s “Talents”:

“Make Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed”: Ya take the pointy end and ya make a lot of holes. What’s not to understand?

“I Will Kick You Ta Sleep!” aka “That Psycho Bruce Lee Sh*t”:
Light Kick-Medium Kick-Heavy Kick
Forward to Down To Quarter Circle Forward with Heavy Punch,
Half Circle Back, Half Circle Back with Heavy Kick

Repeat as Needed.

“Go For The Sweet Spot”: Ability to know juuuuust how to hit someone where it hurts. And not in a “ow…hey that smarts..” kind of hurt. More of a “SWEET UNHOLY MOTHER OF KYHBER!!! THE PAIN!! OH GODS, THE PAIN!!” sort of hurt. Consider yourself warned.

“Magic Stick”:….Um….I don’t really need to explain this one do I…?

“Explain ANYTHING”: Ability to make any explanation, no matter how improbable, seem plausible. I mean someone has to explain away all the crazy stuff that happens on this bucket.

“Ponderous Philosophical Rhetoric”: Ability to go on a long tirade about not a GODS DAMNED THING!!! Not only that but actual keep the listeners attention!! And by the end of said tirade the listeners is so completely dumb-founded as to have the mental capacity of lukewarm tapioca pudding.

“View Huge Amounts Of Bloody Mutilation And Still Eat Fast Food”: “Yep looks like someone decided to play cat’s cradle with the redshirt’s intestines… and that was before they removed his internal organs, sliced them into thin sheets, and spread them around the body. I mean, who knew the human body had so much blood. Man the stuff is every where….*crunch* *chew* *munch*…Egg roll?"
Charles Phipps

12-10-05, 01:20 PM		Transported from a plane of existence that is basically a “Humanoid Occupied Landfill” (The HŌL) used to deposit the most despicable of criminals and riff-raff among the Multiverse...

He's from a parallel Forgotten Freedom?
Missekat

12-10-05, 01:26 PM		:D Ouch.. you should have seen that coming Calibim :D
Calibim

12-10-05, 01:32 PM		He's from a parallel Forgotten Freedom?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Yep, I guess that would make sense...

So Do you like the new crew member?
Kinger

12-10-05, 03:48 PM		He's from a parallel Forgotten Freedom?

Bah, if he were from a parallel Forgotten Freedom he'd be a shining bastion of goodness, generosity, and valor (and have a goatee). Everyone knows that parallel universes are always polar opposites of our own. Duh!

And I want no remarks about the impossibility of multiple opposite parallel universes. DO NOT QUESTION!!
Thwyvylyn

12-10-05, 05:49 PM		3900. The Lyrandar Storm Druid/Master of Many Forms is not a "Humanoid Typhoon"
rampant

12-10-05, 08:15 PM		actually he could be the opposite of the schizo kalashtar or the paladin or even the monk
LugWrench

12-11-05, 01:12 AM		3901. The artifacer does not have a homunculous named "Crow"
3902. Neither does he have one named "Tom Servo"
3903. He is not allowed to make them, either.
3904. Yeah, were doomed.
3905. And we are royally screwed, too.
3906. The blackguard is forbidden from making a nightclub called "The Succubus Club".
3907. Unless the captain is on the VIP list.
3908. And King Kaius can drop by.
3909. And Vol, too, I guess.
3910. We are not allowed to bungee jump over a live volcano.
3911. We may not mount a 'dashboard cam' in the ship.
3912. I am not allowed to make 'less than lethal' alchemists fire.
3913. Im not allowed to make 'super lethal' alchemists fire, either.
3914. In fact, I should stop making alchemists fire all together.
3915. I am not allowed to replace the bards lute with a Ukelele.
3916. I am not allowed to replace the fighters greatsword with a Swiss Army knife.
3917. I am not allowed to replace the captain with a sock puppet.
3918. Even if it is a better leader.
Salookanana

12-11-05, 04:18 AM		URGENT CREW MEETING

Lisa- Alright every one, we are here to adress the ninja Jaela problem
most of crew- Problem?

Lisa- YES! They killed most of the crew

Others- They deserived it! Who cares? They were ugly!

Marish- (Ignoring them) But they are distracting you from more important things! Like me! Meow!

Andrea- Or me. Damn Jaelas... as if the catgirl wasnt bad enough.

Lisa- And V has locked him self in his quarters with a clone...

Andrea- Since the Captain still is recovering from his crazyness, we don't know how to stop them. Any suggestions on how to deal with the problem

Michael- Magicaly age them a couple of years!!

Bruce Ki- There are ninjas here? I didnt notice

Michael- Take off the blind fold, Batman. (He even hates light, just like a bat...)

L. W. H.- I think I have something here to deal with them...

Doog- *Points to pants* Same here! Hachachacha!



Captain's problems


Andrea- Well, if we kill him and turn him into a zombie he would be just fine

Ketler- But he would smell!

Andrea- No worse then normal

Michael- I got an idea

Lisa- Does it involve alcohol?

Michael- Yyy-nn-ye- Is this a trick question?

Doog- Keel haul him! That should drag some sanity out

Quori- I know how to deal with this kind of problem. We... kitty...

Marish- Looking at squishy could mess with his head!

Warforged- I tried to ask V but he said something about Jaela and told me to go stick a wrench some where.

Michael- OK! I can call a friend! He knows all about this kinda stuff!

Andrea- Fine, leave!

Jam- Perhapse if I can focus my mighty powers...

Bolt Tooth Tony- Ah say weh beat him with sticks.

Michael- Ok! He's here!

:coolcthul - Yo, what up.



Feel free to continue the stories!


3919. Our new gods are now: Jay and Silent Bob, Banjo, Banjulu, Jimi Hendrix, Batman, Guybrush Threepwood (Who is the god of mighty pirates), Beavis and Butthead, Red Mage, and Abe Lincolon.
Charles Phipps

12-11-05, 02:28 PM		URGENT CREW MEETING

Kudos!
LugWrench

12-11-05, 02:45 PM		3920. Yes, the captain had a little breakdown.
3921. No, you canot claim to have done it.
3922. No, you cant claim to have bribed the Quori to do it.
3923. Yes, he is recovering.
3924. Rumors that he is being 'tended to' by Marish are false.
3925. Well, not totally false.
3926. Okay, okay. Shes giving him 'sexual healing'.
3927. No, you cant help.
3928. In the interim, the crew will be led by.....umm....by.....
3929. Okay, we have a problem, now.
3930. No, there will be no grand melee to decide whos the new captain.
3931. Bribery is legal, though.
3932. Pholly is NOT the new ships captain.
3933. Hes just here for comic relief.
3934. Michael is not the ships captain.
3935. Hes just here for the booze.
3936. And the money.
3937. And the women.
3938. And to raise a ruckus.
3939. Michael is the interim captain.
3940. Gods help us all.
3941. Or at least the ones we havent alienated.
Warforged Goblin

12-11-05, 03:30 PM		3942: When challenging the Lich Queen Vol, it is not appriopriate to para-phrase Dr. Dre, claiming "Liches ain't $#!+ but hos and tricks..."

3943: Never accidently call a kobold "Dear".

3944: Your warforged is not made of 40% dolomite.

3945: Or titanium.

3946: When your warforged is in a bad mood, he is not "acting very aluminum".

3947: Even if he is.
Salookanana

12-11-05, 05:38 PM		3948. As acting captain there will be some additions to the list
3949. I hear we alienated most of the gods. This must be fixed
3950. We are having a bonfire of all the holy symbols of all the gods we have yet to **** off, and a few more, just to be safe
3951. For on ship entertainment, Pholly and all the other unstable insane crew members will be given alchemist's fire.
3952. I promise not to sell the ship and crew for an everfull mug of ale
3953. I could probably get 2!
3954. First chance we get, we hire a summoner
3955. He could summon something up to age the Jaelas to legal age!
3956. And a harem of Succubi!
3957. What, the ladies want an Incubus or two?
3958. Why? You got me! I'm a demon in the *SMASH*
3959. Lisa is not allowed to hammer the captain while he is speaking/adding to the list. Owch...
3960. I am fully qualified to stand in for Jarlot! I'm as greedy, drunken, and lustful as he ever was!
3961. You still have to wear the dwarfen ladies sweaters!
3962. I dont care what you all say! Bruce Ki is Batman! Batman I say!
3963. Tomorrow we shall go across Eberron, robbing all the dwarfen breweries we can find!
3964. Man, writing sucks. I hope Jarlot finds his marbles soon...
3965. Wait, would marbles help him?
3966. We will be preparing to throw holy water balloons at King Kais soon. Bring garlic!

Michael McCellan
Interm Captain

Jarlot- Who's standing in for me?
Marish- Well, we chose some one who had all of your morals and ideals.
Jarlot- "Morals"?
Marish- Yep. Or what you have instead of them.
Charles Phipps

12-11-05, 06:34 PM		*a sleeping blow dart hits Michael in the back*

Ninja Jaela's Laws as Captain

*appears in smoke bomb*

3967. As Captain, my first act is to ban assaults against Jaela Prime.
3968. Cuddle attacks are defined as assaults.
3969. As Captain, the Ninja Gaiden theme will sound every time I walk.
3970. There will be no jokes if I'm going to grow up just like Ayane from Dead or Alive.
3971. Or Mai Shiranui
3972. Or CHUN LI
3973. Narato has got nothing on me.
3974. All Crew members are redefined as Ninja not pirates.
3975. No, not Ninja Pirates. NINJA.
3976. Ninjas is not the plural of Ninja.
3977. I CAN TOO HOLD A FULL SIZED KATANA! WATCH!

*lifts katana and falls over, trying to pull it out of the wood behind her*

3978. As Ninja we do not deliver pizza.
3979. As Ninja we do not flip hamburgers.
3980. Taste Giant Shuriken Perverts!

*Throws huge shuriken*

3981. Now that V is dead...

"I'm not dead yet."

Oh for Pete's sake.

3982. Ketler is forbidding suggestion I should become a cyborg.
Crystalforged

12-11-05, 06:56 PM		3983. We will not be taking the captain back to Rierda for brainwashing to "return the favor"

3984. Why? Because he might regain his sanity!
Salookanana

12-11-05, 08:08 PM		While the struggle over power raged...

Dwarf lady- Oh, are you new here? Here have some soup, deary. And a sweater
:coolcthul Thanks. Man, this ship is as insane as my nightmares...
Phantomcrossing

12-12-05, 01:59 AM		(wow, either no one liked my attempt at thinking up a crewmember of no one even saw it [ refering back to the Half Giant Rouge/assassin cooky named Norbaz]...which is cool because I said he really didn't do much visual or openly participate, just cooked and kept the galley in order, oh well, lets see if I can do something proactive)

Norbaz - there...enough knockout poison in each serving to drop a bullete, just set the tables with full soup bowls, ring the bell, and hope this can calm things down enough to sort things out.

(the ringing of the meal call bell echos through the ship)
Charles Phipps

12-12-05, 02:28 AM		No No, he's fine.

We just get distracted easily.

Oooo shiny!
Jastra of the clawed hand

12-12-05, 02:48 AM		Same with Pardan, the character I posted here a while ago.... I thought he could make a fine addition to the crew..
Charles Phipps

12-12-05, 04:59 AM		Same with Pardan, the character I posted here a while ago.... I thought he could make a fine addition to the crew..

How much characters are liked are hardly defined by the reactions they get.

It just means no one posted a response.
Phantomcrossing

12-12-05, 09:12 AM		Cool! I understand completely...all things shiny hold great sway over my attention as well.

Back to the current plot:

Norbaz waits in the closed off kitchen for the sounds of people succumbing to the soup with his Goliath Hammer (aka the Tenderizer) and his dessicating dagger. With these things he intends to handle the Ninja Jaela problem, and then hold the crew long enough for them to agree one someone to be interim captain instead of this insanity...plus maybe enjoy chucking a few of the new redshirts that survived the Ninja Jaela assault overboard while unconscious.
Calibim

12-12-05, 11:47 AM		Long Wang: So, yeah I’m kinda fond of the “Burning Knuckle Duster” myself.

Bruce Ki: I do not know this move

Bolt-Tooth Tony: uummm…hey….

Long Wang: Really? Ok what you do is focus your Ki in front of your fist…

Bruce Ki: Like this…?

Bolt-Tooth Tony: Um…hello…

Long Wang: Yeah that’s good…then you strike at your opponent using it…the Ki will propel you at the shmuck and….

Bolt-Tooth Tony: (smacks Bruce and Long Wang upside the back of their heads) HEY YA CRAZY WANKERS!!!

Long Wang: ow..dude…did you just…?

Bolt-Tooth Tony: Good, now that ah have yer attention if you’d be so kind as to cast your dem icicle stares over there…

(Bruce And Long Wang reluctantly look at what Tony is pointing at)

Long Wang: Are those….?

Bruce Ki: …this is not good…

(Marish walks up)

Marish: What are you boys staring at all agape? It can’t be that good cause I’m over…oh boy….this is not good…

Bruce Ki: Yeah, I already said that….

Marish: Great! Just fuzzy peachy!!! The Captain is a few Tacos short of a combo platter, we got little cute ninja clones of Jaela running around stealing all the attention, there’s a power struggle for control of the ship, and now…NOW…there are not one but TWO Aundarian airships closing in on us….just FUZZY PEACHY!!! Bolt-Tooth, tell whoever is pilo…TONY! Where are you going?

Bolt-Tooth Tony: To get mah repeating cross bows and to tell the pigs that suppers going to be ready soon….

Long Wang: Maybe we can catapult the Captain over to one of the ships. In his current state he would put the smack down…

Bruce Ki: Or maybe catapult a few Jaela clones….

Marish: We are not catapulting the Captain over there…I like the second idea though…..

And so begins a new plot twist…BWHAHAHHAHAHA…~hack~….hahaha...~co ugh~…~wheeze~….Man I gotta cut down on the maniacal laughter
Phantomcrossing

12-12-05, 12:00 PM		Norbaz walks on deck and dumps a pile of very unconscious and some very dead ninja Jaela's on the ground. He begins to sort through them having heard the situation.

Norbaz - Okay, live, live, dead, live, live, dead, live, dead...argh, so many. Okay, the live one's will make good ammo, just make sure you stuff these in their noses (nolds up tiny tiny vial of smelling salts) they'll break when the land, it'll hurt like a ***** and they'll be up in time to start laying waste to whatever is around them. And Marish, I have no idea how they are stealing your thunder, they're barely old enough to be aware of their own sexuality, besides, alot of them are dead now anyway.

Norbaz then picks up the ones of his haul that are dead and brings them to Andrea.

Norbaz - Will these help stack your ranks of undead?
Quoriil

12-12-05, 02:52 PM		Andrea sorts through the pile of dead ninja, seperating them into two piles. Viable, reject, viable, viable, reject, reject, reject...

Andrea - I'm keeping these, the rest can go back to the kitchen.
Phantomcrossing

12-12-05, 04:21 PM		Norbaz - Usually its against Galley policy to cook intelligent creatures, but if that's the kind of meal you want appearing on the menu, okay. I'll just make two choices on tonight's menu, Jaela or Chicken.

(ship gets rocked by incoming fire)
LugWrench

12-12-05, 06:53 PM		Pholly scrambles onto the main deck, bottles of alchemists fire rattling in every pocket and fold of his cloak and a small, rather wimpy-looking slingshot in his hand. "Airships? Did someone say airships?" He loads the slingshot and hauls back, barely making the bands stretch. "I can hit them from here, Ill just.." His grip on the bottle slips and the bottle falls towards the deck.

"oops"
Phantomcrossing

12-12-05, 07:49 PM		Norbaz immediately goes about trying to stamp the fires out...with a horribly burned Pholly, he tosses the body aside and goes back to the still living yet unconscious Jaela clones and loads them into the catapult after stuffing the sealed vials of smelling salts into their noses.

Norbaz - Someone else is gonna have to fire this thing!
Salookanana

12-12-05, 10:35 PM		Michael- Ow dangit... Man i gotta get ahold of these sleeping darts for myself...

Steps out side
Sees chaos every where

Michael- Now THIS is why I joined!


"NORBAZ!!"
Norbaz turns to look, and sees V charging him
V- HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO THE JAELAS?!?!!?
Norbaz- They were evil and nearly killed you!
V- SO?!?! I challange you to a fight to the death!
*Start fighting away*

Michael- Hey Doog!
Doog- Yo, what?
Michael- When did these ships get here
Doog- About 5 minutes ago. Wanna do something?
Michael- Yeah, i got an idea. Tell Ketler to grab those "Special Suits" I saw him make and grab the Jaelas
Doog- This is gonna be good, hachachachacha



Jarlot- 93431942 bottles of beer on the wall 93431942 bottles of beer!


Michael- HEY WARFORGED!
Warforged- I have a name.
Michael- Great great, stand over there
Doog- Kay the Jaelas are ready
Michael- Now pick up all the Jaelas-
Warforged- *Does so*

V- *Still fighting* WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Michael- Aim...
LAUNCH EVA!!!!

*Fires giant catapult, with Warforged and Jaelas in plug suits at a ship*

V- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marish- Meow! Two birds with one stone! How did you think ofthat plan?
Michael- Plan? I always wanted to shout that Eva joke, now i just had a chance!
Charles Phipps

12-12-05, 11:00 PM		Michael- Ow dangit... Man i gotta get ahold of these sleeping darts for myself...

Steps out side
Sees chaos every where

Michael- Now THIS is why I joined!


"NORBAZ!!"
Norbaz turns to look, and sees V charging him
V- HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO THE JAELAS?!?!!?
Norbaz- They were evil and nearly killed you!
V- SO?!?! I challange you to a fight to the death!
*Start fighting away*

Michael- Hey Doog!
Doog- Yo, what?
Michael- When did these ships get here
Doog- About 5 minutes ago. Wanna do something?
Michael- Yeah, i got an idea. Tell Ketler to grab those "Special Suits" I saw him make and grab the Jaelas
Doog- This is gonna be good, hachachachacha



Jarlot- 93431942 bottles of beer on the wall 93431942 bottles of beer!


Michael- HEY WARFORGED!
Warforged- I have a name.
Michael- Great great, stand over there
Doog- Kay the Jaelas are ready
Michael- Now pick up all the Jaelas-
Warforged- *Does so*

V- *Still fighting* WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Michael- Aim...
LAUNCH EVA!!!!

*Fires giant catapult, with Warforged and Jaelas in plug suits at a ship*

V- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marish- Meow! Two birds with one stone! How did you think ofthat plan?
Michael- Plan? I always wanted to shout that Eva joke, now i just had a chance!

....

My only response to this can be.

*Jarlot walks out feeling his head*

*sees sight*

*backs...SLOWLY....into his cabin*

*then slams the door shut and hides under the bed*

HAHAHAHAHHAAH
Charles Phipps

12-13-05, 12:50 AM		A Word from the Captain

Now that the Jaela population onboard the ship has been brought down to a reasonable number by attrition. I have returned to active duty thanks to a random blow to the skull weirdly curing all my insanities...

EXcePT FOR AN UNhoLY URgE TO CruSH AnD COnqUER MY ENEMies beFORe Me!

I thought some positive reinforcement to the ship for a change would help things and remind us why we as Pirates' exist.

Bruce Ki: To fight injustice and rob from the corrupt to give to the poor.

General: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA *snort*

Uhh.....okay Ki.

Here's our Things that Captain Jarlot WANTS the Crew to do from Dirty Tricks to Advice on Robbery

1. Rob Aundarian ships because of their abominable treatment of Cyrean refugees after the Last War.
2. Rob Cyrean ships because of their cruel and inhuman treatment of individuals before the war.
3. Rob Brelish ships because of their support of a corrupt democratic regime.
4. Rob Karrnathian ships because of their support of a corrupt monarchial regime.
5. Rob Thranish ships because of their refusal to recognize Warforged sentience.
6. Rob the Lord of Blades' ships because of his service to the rapacious efforts of warforged.
7. Rob Reidrans ships because of the protest of their treatment of Adar.
8. Rob Adar ships because of their endless slander against Reidrans.
9. Rob Gnomes because...well.....they suck.

Pholly: HEY!

Oh like its not common knowledge.

10. Rob Talenta Plains halflings because they're all cruel and evil savages.
11. Rob House Boranal halflings for betraying their heritage.
12. Rob the Dragon Mark Houses out of protest to the guild system.
13. Rob the Emerald Claw because they're a bunch of creepy necromancers.

Andrea: HEY!

Hot redheaded necromancers are exempted.

14. Rob the Aurrum because no one likes rich old white guys.
15. Rob King Kaius in particular because he's the ultimate old rich white guy.
16, Rob Vol because she's a Lich and ergo we kill Liches to take their stuff.
17. Rob the Children of Winter because no one likes cheezy Apocalypse Rip offs from the X-men.
18. Rob Queen Aurala because just because you look like Monica Bellucia doesn't mean you get to act uppity
19. Rob Merrix D'Cannith in particular because just because you can build a nuclear reactor out of some coconuts doesn't mean you have the right to be uppity.
20. Rob Keith Baker because no one has more money than God
21. Rob Elminster to teach him to slum in our campaign setting.
22. Rob the Lords of Dust because they have a fortune from their Kellog's Empire.
23. Rob the dead because they certainly don't need it.
24. Rob the undead because you can't take it with you.
25. Rob dungeons because one of my GREATEST CON GAMES was convincing people basements of crumbling ruins was a safe place to hide your money.
26. Always be sure to check the pockets of dead men, their packs, and otherwise rifle for every last coin.
27. Why? Because bribes to refuel this ship are pretty damn high.
28. Always take note of my chart on the wall that lists your value as crew. Whenever the bounty is higher than your projected value, we turn you over for it.
29. Yes, my value is the Infinity Symbol....
30. And yes the girls are marked higher than the boys.
31. Do put on black suits, mirrorshades, and fake authoritarian tones whenever visiting a place we've been before. Claim aliens did the damage from before.
32. Do use gleefully Charm Person and Charm Monster spells.
32. Do return to the "We can leave SOME witnesses" plan. The zero tolerance policy didn't work out in the Mournland.
33. Always blame the Emerald Claw or Lords of Dust for what happened when possible.
34. Do gleefully hire adventurers to attack our foes then steal the idol when they return like Belloq from Raiders.
35. Better yet, kill the survivors and collect the EXP. They should be nicely seasoned.
36. Remember, when we recruit new player characters, its best to help them come up levels quickly. Good ways of doing that are having them pilot the airship down on orc villages, spreading plague, poisoning wells, and causing avalanches.
37. Do report Treason to your Captain. In fact, gleefully execute the traitors.
38....Then kill yourself. No one likes a snitch.
39. If we happen to stake a vampire. The first act is NOT to stuff his mouth with garlic but have him bite a dozen Chaotic evil prisoners and then promptly STAKE THEM so we can up our EXP quotient. We call this "farming."
40. If you locate a dragon's lair. The first thing is not to attack him and attempt to seize his treasure. The first thing is to sell the location on maps to adventurers and wait outside the lair to mug him. If possible charge the dragon for frequent feeding.
41. All corpses of slain enemies are to be sorted by Andrea into "collectable for sale as spell components" and "not."
42. Remember, its just good business to return the bodies of the dead to relatives for a reward....even if you killed them.
43. Remember that armor, arms, and gold teeth can be resold!
44. Since Darguun property is in dispute, its perfectly legitimate to sell hunting rights in various nations to help clear out the monster problem....
45. And its only your Civic Duty to inform the Daughters of Sora Kell about this for money!
46. Remember, protecting villagers from evil bandits for only rice is our sworn and civic duty!
47. After all, the bandits have arms and horses plus all the loot they've taken!
48. When in doubt, claim diplomatic immunity as a member of the King's Citadel. Even Boranal doesn't know them all.
49. To get a sealed letter of the King just write as sloppily as possible and sign an X. Breland's King is not too bright.
50. Don't rob the tombs of the Deathless in Aerenal....instead tell them of a horrific threat from Vol and obligingly offer to transport their treasures to someplace safer.
51. When trying to sneak up on someone, have your partner point "look! Behind you!" They'll never look and its easier than making a Hide check.
52. All people with great cleave are required to carry a bag of live rats so they can toss them over enemies and hit them 19 or so times.
53. Putting anything in social skills and other noncombat useful things is hereby forbidden (and explains alot about this crew)
54. All members of the crew are restricted to being Chaotic Neutral save for those who get Exalted or Vile Darkness cool classes. This minimizes the chance of magic being used against us effectively yet doesn't impede our actions.
55. Zombies are hereby used to go through dungeons ahead of us and thus trigger all traps....
56. Or Red Shirted Crew.
57. Artifacts are hereby moved between crew to lower chance of posession while also maximizing power base.
58. All non combat spells are forbidden save for the purposes of cleaning up our messes.
59. All who question the Captain's orders are to be assbeat.
60. No Marish, its not spanking.
61. Henchmen are required to carry barrels of flaming oil and explosives and walk ahead of us. If worse comes to worse then we can use them as part of our incinerdary devices.
62. All priests are now Ur-priests since we don't have to deal with the whininess of deities taking our power away.
63. Or better yet...worship ME as a god.
64. I've come up with this new religion called err...Selfosophy. It'll appeal to the rich and wealthy and guarantee salvation by the more money you give us.
65. Work should be continued to figure out how to topple Sharn for the EXP....
66. But only if we move the brothels, bars, and good restuarants first.
67. All spells are too be tatooed on the backs of the male crew so that we're never out of fireballs.
68. Stupid is to be overloaded with as many offensive attachments as possible.
69. I know Doog, he's offensive already.
70. All crew unless they have wills have their shares of treasure revert to the Captain if they die.
71. Wills and Testaments are hereby forbidden on this ship.
72. Do use the Clone Spell and Quite often. In fact, they make excellent henchmen til they die and you only lose one to suicide after a good period.
73. If a main villain is killed that someone might ressurect and we have a cleric onboard, raise dead until he's to 1st level THEN kill him.
74. Always recruit our own high level cleric to save on healing....
75. Otherwise you're not getting any.
76. If we ever encounter Bahamut, give him a Dire Rat's Tail. He'll give us Prestige Class changes.
77. If we ever encounter Tiamat, I order you to hold your ground while I uhh...go for reinforcements.
78. Please note that all Crew shares of treasure will yield FAR more benefits if invested into the Jarlot World Domination FundTM. You will recieve 10 times your money back....inJarlotdollars.
79. ...or you can invest in the Jarlot Rule the World Fund and have your money back doubled....atamaturityrateof120years.
80. All wish spells will be done by Elf Wizards to maximize the cost/effect ratio.
81. Wishing for More Wishes couldn't hurt.
82. All Genies belong to the Captain.
83. ....especially hot Marids.
84. Cheetohs is our cure for scurvy. Much more cost effective than the Oranges I have to eat for...uhh...medical reasons.
85. The Captain will be at all encounters.....and thus benefit any experience divides.
86....guarding the rear.
87. Any and all female prisoners are not to be maligned in any way....mainly because the moment I become less sympathetic than my amusement value the hand of the DM will come down on me. HARD.
88. We have invested a large amount of wealth in an owlbear farm. All of the cute and cuddly creatures are ready to be killed by Ketler for EXP so he can create us some magic weapons. So please escort the trusting little things to their horrible deaths.
89. Remember...there's nothing in the rules that says ordering Monster Summoning creatures off a cliff won't give you the EXP for them!
90. Avoid Succubi and vampire girls. They drain levels. Instead, go for the equally kinky vampyres and Alufiends at no such risk. If you're into that sort of thing, Mariliths are all the fun for many more of the feeling.
91. Our first act if we ever get a spelljammer is to drop an asteroid on Argonessan. Thus elevating us to gods EXP wise.
92. The important thing about borrowing money from House Kunderick is that you should always have the person who handles it be the most expensive. Then when he dies you dont' have to pay him back.
93. Corpses are not to be re-animated willy nilly. Instead, check to see if Dargunn or Droam would like to buy our produce!
94. To impress a Valenar noblemen, challenge him to a fight blindfolded, then have the crew jump him.
95. When scavenging the Mournland, the best advice is to scavenge banks and Noble treasuries.
96. Also do it from the airship for minimal risk!
97. Always dedicate your kills to a god. It can't hurt after all.
98. When encountering an enemies' subterranean lair. The best thing to do is check the ventillation system...and then fill it with toxic fumes. Why risk your life when the treasure is much more easily obtained?
99. Remember, the dead don't need their stuff....
100. The undead are a bit more iffy.
101. Remember cleared lairs are perfect for real estate sales!

(Captain Jarlot is one of the few people I can honestly say, after writing this, that I don't feel weird using the adjective 'dastardly')
Salookanana

12-13-05, 02:58 AM		3985. Just because I went crazy DOESNT mean i forgot about the list!
3986. Nice try to burn it though. I had Ketler fire proof this thing ages ago. Suckers.
3987. V is hearby ordered to stop mourning the Jaelas or we drop him in the Mournlands!
3988. Do not mention ANY of that stuff to Jaela prime or you get keelhauled through the Silver Flame!
3989. This ship was not made by Akbar's Airshps (Not Death Traps)
3990. It was made by Jeff's Deathtraps (Not to be confused with actual airships)
3991. Why is Cthulu swapping recipies with the dwarf lady????
Phantomcrossing

12-13-05, 07:31 AM		Norbaz - Well now that everything's settled, I'm gonna start on tonight's meal.

(as norbaz limps away he downs a cure potion from all the attacking V was doing after leaving a cure potion in front of an equally exhausted V)

V - This isn't over! This was a challenge to the death.

Norbaz - Whatever. I never accepted your challenge. Oh, tonight will you be having the chicken or the Jaela?

V - WHAT!?

Norbaz - Don't look at me, Andrea requested it. Never pegged her for a cannibal.
VagueZ

12-13-05, 11:12 AM		We've done some Wizard of Oz, but I don't recall these specifically.

3992. I said to follow the yellow brick road during my brush with madness? What yellow brick road?

3993. Talenta halflings are not munchkins.

3994. The warforged is not a tin woodsman, even if he does have the axe for it.

3995. Smig is not Toto.

3996. Marish is not a cowardly lion.

3997. Straw golem? Ketler, that's not a scarecrow.

3998. I AM NOT DOROTHY.

3999. We are not 'off to see the wizard'. We've got several onboard already. So stop singing, "We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of the coast."
LugWrench

12-13-05, 11:25 AM		Pholly gets up, brushing the soot off his red tunic. "Wow, that was almost a disaster. Boy, I was nearly a gonner. (THe cleric begins muttering and fingering several seriously bladed weapons)"

4000. Whom ever restored the captains sanity, please step forward.
4001. The crew wants to 'thank' you.
4002. Michael cant be the ships captain.
4003. Instead, we will use a sort of Executive officer for the week.
4004. No, just becuase you named your dagger 'Excaliber' doesnt mean youre the captain.
Phantomcrossing

12-13-05, 01:20 PM		4005. All hauling will be reschedualed until after the Keel is fixed.

4006. The remaining clone Jaelas are to sign onto the crew lest they wish to join their sisters in the galley.

4007. All male crewmembers are forbidden from being alone in a room with the remaining Ninja Jaela.

4008. Ketler is never allowed to repair the cloning machine on pain of Keel Hauling.

4009. Under no circumstances are the crew to speak of the clone incident ever again.
rampant

12-13-05, 04:09 PM		4010. Chalky we understand that you haven't tasted such sweet tender human flesh in a while, but thats no excuse to use morphic reach to steal everyone elses' shares.

4011. Bruce is not batman.

4012. I am not batman.

4013. How many times do I have to say this, there is no batman on this ship.

4014. Infecting Bruce with lycanthropy is forbidden.

4015. I am still not Santa Clause.
Phantomcrossing

12-13-05, 06:20 PM		Norbaz - Huh? And here I expected more people would want the chicken. I should take requests more often...no one told the Paladin, right?
LugWrench

12-13-05, 07:00 PM		Pholly heads belowdecks, brushing off more soot and dirt. "Well," he says. "I suppose I should start making some replacement alchemists fire. SHouldnt take me too long" Behind him, the cleric winces, and starts counting to 10.
Always-Late

12-13-05, 09:39 PM		4016: Nobody will ever say the words, "I wonder what this button does."

4017: There will be no lab monkeys set free on this ship.

4018: Especially not dire lab monkeys.

4019: And definitely no awakened dire lab monkeys of legend.

4020: In fact, there will be no lab monkeys on this ship. Period.

4021: We do not love the smell of nalpalm.

4022: Okay, we do, but try not to tell anyone who burned down the orphanage.

4023: In the case of a water landing, nobody will be used as a floatation device.

4024: Actually, feel free to try using the warforged.

4025: I am not the invincible.
Salookanana

12-13-05, 10:55 PM		4026. You shall not "Kidnap the Sandy Claws"
4027. Be it either the fat old present guy or a giant crab.
4028. We cannot recruit Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate, to join us
4029. Nor can we get the Ghost/Zombie/Demon Pirate LeChuck either
4030. We do not go into random houses and take their valuables because "We are adventurers and we need it to be heros!"
4031. We break into houses and steal their valuables because we are pirates!
4032. Redshirts are not to be used as target practice
4033. When on important missions, the redshirts must form a protective meat wall around the captain.
4034. Or just on the deck.
4035. NO ONE TOUCHES THE CLONER!!! ITS MINE!! MINE I SAY!!!!
4036. Andrea is not allowed to "Thin the herd" of redshirts for her "Experaments"
4037. Ketler's new job is to find a way to smell proof Andrea's zombie holding areas
4038. And Doog's room too.
4039. Or he could invent Febreeze
4040. Sunny D is not powered by nuclear reactions!
4041. Lycanthropy is not to be used for practicle jokes!
4042. I am NOT Zaphod Beeblebrox
4043. As crazy as I was, I am not the King of the Universe
4044. I am NOT attending Michael's weekly mutany gathering
4045. I don't care if its in honor of my return as captain!
4046. Wait, free booze?? I'm there!
LugWrench

12-13-05, 11:18 PM		4047. Redshirts are NOT for target practice!
4048. Unless youre trying to settle a drunken bet.
4049. The captain gets 10% of the winnings, in booze or changeling hookers.
4050. The artifacer is FORBIDDEN from making a construct of Mr. Hankey.
4051. The artifacer is FORBIDDEN from making a construct of Mr. Hankey.
4052. I realize that there are two entries that are identical, its just that important.
4053. We dont have sponsors!
4054. Johnny Knoxvile is NOT our hero.
4055. Thank Gawd.
4056. Although, this does seem like one long episode of "Jackass".
4057. From this point on, Jaela will NOT be compared to Daisy Duke.
4058. Jaela will be much hotter than Daisy Duke, anyway.
Phantomcrossing

12-14-05, 01:37 AM		Norbaz - Ketler, I have a question about the cloner. Is it possible to make clones that come out dead? Last night we ran out of dead Jaelas and the still living ones are getting that crazy hungry look directed at them from alot of the crew.
Salookanana

12-14-05, 02:16 AM		AND NOW:
Straight from Captain Jarlot's locker; Some of the rejected plans for the crew of the FF! BEHOLD IF YOU DARE!!

Forgoten Freedom's Rejected Plan #3790324

Redshirt Shield Plating
By Soveren Glueing Redshirts to the outside of the ship, it is protected from the attacks of anything that is trying to kill us. Theoretically, all the redshirts should add their AC to that of the ship and their HP as well. If succesfull, a platemail of halfling redshirts could be made

REJECTED: Cause-
Redshirts started to smell
Redshirts couldnt last through daily keelhaulings.


FFRP 193904

Kingdom of Jarlotia

Ask a certain idiotic king for his autograph, but really he is signing a contract handing over all the kingdom to ME!!! MWAHAHAHAA!

REJECTED: Cause-
Said stupid king is too bloody dumb to write his own name....


FFRP 238329

NOT get blamed for something

Eliminate any potential witnesses to our illegal actions and deny responsibilty. Should be simple

REJECTED: Cause-
Our first attempt at this caused the Day of Mourning....


FFRP 949291

Hire a crew that respects me!

REJECTED: Cause-
No takers...
And these idiots are somewhat effective
And expendable
Dex

12-14-05, 04:31 AM		4059. The Forgotten Freedom does not "Vent plasma port 60%!"

4060. It does not fly by passing into the Warp.


4061. Though it has passed into Xoriat on occasion.

4062. While in Xoriat (or the Warp) our ship is not single-handedly guided
through the Ether by a Nobilis Noviate Psyker.

4063. Though Kanatash does come scarily close...

In reference to rule 2561. "No one on this ship can kill people with their brains.", The Captain Sincerly appologises. I was wrong. Do not cheer. This person is Kanatash, not anybody else. And don't we know it.

4064. This ship does not have a horde of Ratling abhuman slaves...though it does have hordes of rats (crew not excluded).

4065. My Madness WAS NOT PERMANENT.

4066. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.
Crystalforged

12-15-05, 04:42 PM		Going off the deep end here...






Andrea: Say, is it just me or is something strange going on here?

Marish: Oh, are you just catching on now? There is always something strange going on around here.

Andrea: No, I mean stranger than usual. For example does the captain seem a little diferent since his little lapse in sanity?

At this time Jarlot glances in their direction from the other side of the ship and his eyes seem to momentarily flash blood red.

Marish: You may have a point there. I mean he never visits me anymore...

Andrea: Moving on. Also does it bother you that the new guy V brought on board seems to know Kanatash?

Marish: OK. Now that you mention it that does seem wierd. That Cthulu guy seems nice enough but

Suddenly Kanatash appears on deck with Cthulu and Jarlot behing him and the entire crew hears him speaking to them in their minds in a high pitched voice...

Kanatash: I now claim this ship in the name of my masters the great deranged ones. My long observation has show this ship is the greatest nextus of madness outside the perfection that is Xoriat. You will serve me and through me my great masters to use the insanity inherent to this ship to unmake reality. You will serve or your minds shall be reduced to green goo and then whatever is left of your minds shall be used for our purposes anyways. Your captain has already been converted and I will personally crush the minds of every single one of you if neccessary. Now choose your doom!

The ninja Jaelas come forward at Kanatash but he stops them by implanting in their minds the realization that they are both ninjas and pirates. The impossibilites of this causes their minds to simply break down and they are quickly reduced to a vegitative state.

Cthulu: Dude! That was not cool! The little dudets were like cool! You can't just do stuff like that to people!

Kanatash: You know I used to look up to you. You were supposed to be the greatest of the deranged ones but your just some mortal hugging reality lover. Go back to your room with your dreamlily and guitar you god damn hippy!

Cthulu: I... ugh... you... sniff... thats... whaaaaaa! (runs off belowdecks crying)

Kanatash: Now where was I...
LugWrench

12-15-05, 05:52 PM		4067. Just because its called a 'red-light district', doesnt mean we ALWAYS HAVE TO STOP THERE! -- The paladin chick.
4068. Cpatains perrogative. --Jarlot the Second.
4069. To the ships wizard, enough with the damned rabbit-from-the-hat trick!!
4070. To the ships wizard, More rabbits, please. --Norbaz
4071. The crew is hereby forbidden from sending cases of malt liquor to Jaela on her 21st birthday. (where Im from, ya have to be 21 to drink, your age may vary)
4072. I am not allwed to bribe Santa into taking me with him into Jaelas house.
4073. Bribing Santa puts me on the 'naughty' list.
4074. No, Jaela is not on the 'naughty' list, too.
Phantomcrossing

12-15-05, 08:20 PM		That evening in the bowels of the ship, after passing out selective messages disguised as menus at meal time, Norbaz holds a meeting for the resanifying of the Captain in Cthulu's room.

Old Dwarf Lady - Oh I do love a party, please help yourself to some ginger snaps, me and the nice tall young man here made plenty. Oh, and feel free to help yoursleves to the sweaters as well.

Norbaz - Its good to see we got this turn out for the meeting. I think I'll open by saying, I'm loyal to the captain, and I won't stand for him being controlletd by Kanatash in this manner.

Bruce Ki - The captain is being controlled?

Marish - But what are we going to do, he completely destroyed the Ninja Jaelas...wait, that's not a bad thing. Why are we plotting against him?

Andrea - the madness and his plans to drag us all into a dimension of chaos and insanity and utilize our ship to spread it across the world unmaking everything we hold dear and love to terrorize, steal from, and destroy. A Xoriot incursion would destroy everything. Good, evil, law, and even chaos as we know it would be memories. No longer would there be life, death, or beautiful undeath.

:coolcthul - I dunno, its not so bad. I like it there, but its there, its not supposed to be here. It'd be a bad trip that unravels the fundamental rules of existance...plus he was totally uncool what he did to those Duddettes. And..sniff..and he made me cry...

Kettler - Yeah! He has to pay for so heedlessly destroying my precious creations!

V - Look at them now! Limp and vacant! Though they breathe they are but hollow souls, impossible to mold or teach to be a foe of the corrupted!

Lisa - I think a show of force is necesarry. There is no telling what kind of acts of moral depravity and destruction Kanatash could be capable of. He may very well be the one responsible for all the horrible things that follow the ship from port to port.

Doog - I know something on this ship that brings trouble port to port if you catch my drift.

Marish - Okay then...so what are we gonna do?

Norbaz - That's why I called this meeting, I have no idea.

Michael - I have an idea.

Lisa - Oh, and I presume your explanation will end in some perversion involving myself which will require me to hit you with this. (hefts hammer)

Michael - No, that's for later, I say we go to Squishy and get him to hold Kanatash's pay.
Charles Phipps

12-15-05, 08:30 PM		It's amazing how intricate these storylines have gotten

;-)
Endless_Helix

12-15-05, 08:35 PM		Ajihazi sits down on the deck and begins to cry.

"Sc-sc-scary!" the kalashtar soulknife whimpers patheticly on the floor. Suddenly, his face twists as if in agony and he screams. His eyes glow a different color than the usual orange. They've sunk into a deep crimson color.

"Filthy little half-breeds! Always trying to foil the plans of the Dark! WILL KILL YOU!"

With that he forms a huge mindblade, almost four feet in length and throws it at Khantash. It misses. It nearly hits Jarlot, in the head. He squeeks and ducks behind the wheel.

Doog whispers, "I hope they kill eachother. They both are such munchkins that they deserve it."

Khantash flicks his fingers at Ajihazi, blasting him almost over the side of the ship. Ajihazi barely manages to grab a hold of the railing and pull himself back on.

Khantash giggles. He unleashes a psionic barage that leaves Ajihazi covered un blood, ice, burns and lacerations.

Ajihazi seems to blur for a second, appears next to Khantash "touches" him, and Ajihazi mutters "My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Suddenly Khantash is screaming in whatever passes for pain with a psion uncarnate. Ajihazi is no longer hurt. He's grinning.

"Right, now that we have settled, The Dark is taking this ship. We will use it further my ascension to power facilitated by the Devourer of Dreams."

Norbaz looks at Khantash and back at Ajihazi."Do we have to eat him? I've no idea how to cook psion uncarnate. Plus he's still alive."
urial angel of death

12-15-05, 09:40 PM		squishy runs out of his room for the first time in twi weeks.
"This is the happiest moment of my life, it's my first"
holds out a baby umberhulk.
remains completely oblivious of the caos around him as he sheads a real tear.
Salookanana

12-15-05, 10:17 PM		Michael- I have a plan!
Lisa- Does it involve chucking the baby umberhulk?
Michael- Technically it involves throwing the baby and you taking off your armor, if you must know!
Marish- ITS A BABY!!
Michael- Well, the baby throwing was the least important part of the plan....

Bruce Ki- Wait, whats going on?
Ketler- Khantash bad. Now dont swallow your tounge...
Bruce Ki-... What?

Pholly- I say we throw alchemest fire around!
Andrea- That will help us HOW???

Michael- ...so if you and Marish :censored: :censored: while :censored: with the ninja jaelas and Andrea :censored: :censored: :censored: you could :censored: !! That would stop any body from going crazy with evil!
Marish- :OMG!
Lisa- *Slowly raises hammer and readies a smite evil*

:coolcthul -Why cant they just give peace a chance??
rampant

12-15-05, 11:48 PM		Norbaz - (with evil glimmer in eye) hey guys if they unmake everything it means no alchohol, no gold, and no hookers

*smiles cruely as the majority of the crew gets that familiar video game overdrive supermove look*
Charles Phipps

12-16-05, 02:48 AM		Captain Jarlot's log


Call me Jarlot.

I have kept the crew ignorant of the fact that I've attached to the ship a relic of a lost space faring civilization's 'spell thingamabob' after having Ketler modify it to travel through dimensional frequencies into the wilds of Xoriat. Having loaded the ships up with Jaelas to supply sufficient holy power, I intend to at last track down the dreaded white leviathan that took my leg.....MOBY ORCUS.

Yarr, with a pair of horns like a Snowhill is the Wand Wielding beast that long ago manifested into this realm and crushed my leg with that dreaded wand of his. I had repressed my memory of that day until my encounters with the Quori informed me that in fact I had lost my leg (neverminding the fact I still have it---obviously a Daelkyr trick) to the hands of this dreaded beast of Thanatos.

I think the crew potentially suspects something from the fact that we've already entered the earliest layers of Xoriat due to the screaming wails of madness, Telly-tubbies, slaadi, abberations, and similiar creatures we have thus encountered. I had hoped to pass them off as distant inbred relatives of Dooj but they're too smart for that (the abberations not the ship's crew).

In any case, it's too late to turn back now what with having expended all of the crew's retirement fund and medical expenses to buy sufficient weapons for fighting them.

-Jarlot

P.S. I really hope I'm working this thing write. The Dreamlands and Xoriat are pretty close in these writings. Oh well, worse comes to worse we'll just end up in some place far worse.



Ketler reads the Captain's log "THAT :censored:!"

Captain Jarlot said then "Hey folks. Good news. I'm now going to demonstrate some wonderful new tricks for getting rid of the uhh...."

Ketler said "The Deep Ones crawling up the side of the ship?"

Captain Jarlot said "You mean the uhhh....sahuagin."

Ketler said "No, I mean the dread spawn of Cthulhu!"

:coolcthul said "Hey! Those guys are distant cousins at best!"

Captain Jarlot said "In any case..."

*causally begins shooting them in the head with his blessed bullets.*

He then lifts a book titled Necronomicron De Mortis

"This book written in human skin will help us out greatly. All we have to do to get rid of the Deep Ones is summon a horde of ghouls."

Ketler said "Then what will do to get rid of the ghouls?"

Captain Jarlot said "Simple? We summon a byakhee."

Ketler said "Then what do we do to get rid of the byakhee?"

"We summon The Great Old One Dagon," Captain Jarlot said.

:coolcthul "Sweet! I haven't seen him since the stars were last in alignment!"

Ketler said "HOW WILL WE GET RID OF DAGON!?"

Captain Jarlot said "Why that's simple. We summon a manifestation of Nyarlathotep."

Ketler said "And then we have to deal with Nyarlathotep!"

Captain Jarlot said "Not at all. For Nyarlathotep is terrified of Cats."

Ketler said "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life."

***

Later

Nyarlathotep looks at Marish "SCREEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM"

*flees into another dread dimensional level*

Marish waved her paw "Meow?"

Ketler said "I guess I owe you a coke."

:coolcthul "He's allergic."
Dex

12-16-05, 04:45 AM		Our (anti)heroes find themselves adrift among the first layers of Xoriat, searching for a planar slipstream (whatever that is) in order to return to the Prime Material Plane. Meanwhile, as ever, trouble is brewing aboard...

Doog - "OH CRAP!! GUYS WE NEED HELP!!"

Marish, V , Ketler, the redshirt, the half-giant assassin, squigy, :coolcthul ,Michael, Lisa, Jarlot, - "What is it now? Are the Old Ones back again?

Doog - "NO! WE'RE ABOUT TO RUN OUT OF BOOZE!!"

Marish, V , Ketler, the redshirt, the half-giant assassin, squigy, :coolcthul ,Michael, Jarlot - "NO WAY!!!!"

Lisa (under her breath) - "Finally..."
Charles Phipps

12-16-05, 05:12 AM		So guys, a brief survey here...are you enjoying the more in-character posts or want to go back to more generic stuff?

Planar Themed Forgotten Themed Problems now forbidden

4075. Just because it's the plane of Madness doesn't mean that you can sell all of dead crew members stuff in a "March Madness" sale.
4076. V is hereby forbidden from sneaking into Asmodeus' palace to blow it up with the words "Remember, Remember, the fifth of November."
4077. ....again.
4078. Bruce Ki forbidden from leaping into battle with the nameless horrors to avenge Marish....
4079. Because she's not dead yet!
4080. No, she won't be stone cold dead in a minute!
4081. She's getting better!
4082. She feels good! She feels happy!
4083. Knocking her out was uncalled for Andrea....
4084. And all THIS to film Bruce Ki and the Attack of the Cthonians
4085. AND YOU CAN'T MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 IT!
4086. No, Stupid can't be Crow for it....
4087. Or Tom Servo.
4088. Listen Jackass, do you remember what happened when we convinced him he was Hal the Computer and we put him in charge of lifesupport when we had this machine modified as a spelljammer?
4089. NO? Because we were without air for a month!
4090....and we survived by being thankfully high level and making our saving throws.
4091. The Plane of Madness does not conform to your ideas V.
4092. ...even if it is Anarcho-Vigilantism.
4093. You are not "More than Flesh under that Mask"
4094. There is not "An idea."
4095....an idea that is Bulletproof.
4096. It is wrong to confuse Demogorgon by asking which one of the two heads always tells the truth and the other always lies.
4097. IT'S A DEMON PRINCE. BOTH ARE ALWAYS LYING!
4098. It is wrong to try and have sex with Belial's daughter.
4099. Because you wouldn't survive...
4100. And no it wouldn't be worth it!
4101. ...Demonesses only like paladins.
4102. NO Lisa wouldn't be up for it!
4103. And you couldn't film it anyway.
4104. It's wrong to play Graazt cards for your soul.
4105. Because it confuses the Hell out of him when you cheat better than he does.
4106. V, stop questioning Tiamat why she's Lawful Evil when her Red Head is dominant and they're Chaotic Evil plus she's insane with five personalities....
4107. No it's not bad, just tacky.
4108. Zugummi is not to be harvested for pennicilian on this ship Andrea...
4109. I don't care if we're critically low!
4110. When fighting Mesphisto, we cannot rely on the help of the Silver Surfer...
4111. Or Adam Warlock...
4112. Okay, maybe Spiderman.
4113. No Andrea, I can't explain to you why we're encountering a bunch of D&D monsters from the Great Wheel Cosmology in Xoriat, many whom have Lawful Evil alignment. Maybe it's just because it's the Plane of Madness!
4114....or the DM bought the Book of Vile Darkness
4115. It's not funny to mock the Lord of the Nine trapped in a block of ice.
4116. Especially by using an ice pick to hold a margeritta party around him.
4117. Willy Wonka is not a Daelkyr.
4118. Despite the fact that we're clearly currently surrounded by Oompa Loompas.
4119. And that we got here because we found Golden Tickets in Chocolate Bars...
4120. And that movie IS very scary.
4121. Oh crap, it's Gene Wilder! RUN!
4122. No, Jonny Depp's Wonka won't show up.
4123. Because he optioned playing ME for the movie.
4124. What do you mean Tim Burton directing us explains a great deal?
4125. No V, Alan Moore won't like you if you meet him in person.
4126. He doesn't like any adaptation.
4127. V, you are forbidden from blowing up Baalzebub's perfect city JUST when he got it right....
4128. Again.
4129. Where DO you get all that dynamite anyway?
4130. Oh right, sulphur and charcoal are everywhere here.
4131. It is wrong to stiff Charon the Ferryman.
4132. ...even if he's fallen for it every time thus far.
4133. It is wrong to have our remaining Ninja Jaela bless the River Styx....
4134. Because apparently it works and there's now Nine Layers of Hell extremely brassed off at us.
4135. It is wrong to shout to every Balor we pass by "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
4136. ....and then lead them over cliffs....
4137. BECAUSE THEY HAVE WINGS STUPID!
4138. Admittedly,they do seem too stupid to use them.
4139. ....we were THIS close to getting out of here and you had to pray to the Lady of Pain?
4140....Sigh....Andrea, help put Bruce Ki's skin back on.
4141. It is wrong to taunt Elminster in Hell.
4142. V, what have I said about taunting Tiamat?
4143. I don't care if you're really curious about whether she and Takhasis are the same goddess!
4144. It is wrong to play Queen of the Demonweb Pits here....
4145. I don't care if Lolth's stats are ridiculously low and you could all off her by yourselves.
4146. By the way, its wrong to mock Drow as "Stupid Goth Wannabes" when they're from other settings than Eberron....
4147. Even if they are.
4148. It is wrong to ignore the howling hosts of horror beyond time in order to play Silent Hill....
4149. I don't care if its more atmospheric!
4150. It is wrong to nuke Great Old Ones....
4151. I don't care if its answering an Age old Question Ketler!
4152. V, let it go...that Alu Fiend wasn't Natalie Portman....
4153. WHO LOOKS NOTHING LIKE JAELA
4154. The Dark Eight should not be told they sound like a wannabe Metal band....
4155. Nor should they be convinced they should BECOME a wannabe Metal Band.
4158. ...and it is very wrong to sell them fake recording contracts.
4159. Ketler...what are you going to do with the souls of Eight Pit Fiends?
Phantomcrossing

12-16-05, 01:30 PM		In character stuff is fun.

Old Dwarven Lady - Excuse me, I need some help moving things in my room.

:coolcthul - Yeah, I got nothing but time.

(soon)

:coolcthul - Hey V, you'll never believe this, I found a Dwarven portable brewery. The nice old lady was susing it as a vase. Now there can be booze again!

(in an instant all of the crew but Lisa and Stupid are present crammed in the doorway)

Everyone - BOOZE!
rampant

12-16-05, 01:34 PM		Ketler - Nothing I need one more.
LugWrench

12-16-05, 03:06 PM		4160. Will you guys stop playing Nintendo and get serious for two seconds?!?!
4161. No, you cant do Body Shots off Lisa!
4162. Marish is more than game for it, though.
4163. Will someone kindly tell the pilot that he has his map upside down?
4164. Oh, for the love of Whiskey, Ill do it myself.
4165. Despite the similarity in both color and taste, the moonshine is not Warforged lubricant.
4166. But it does make a good cleaning solvent.
4167. Pholly, Plan B is not 'twice as much alchemists fire as plan A'.
4168. Okay, Im revoking your Alchemists Fire privilages, Pholly.
4169. Lisa, will you whap some sense into Pholly, please?
4170. We will no longer be showing any more Romero movies. The necro chick likes them a little too much.
4171. We dont want to give her any ideas.
4172. I realize its too late.
4173. We dont want to give any DMs any ideas, either.
4174. Has anyone seen my keys?
Salookanana

12-16-05, 11:03 PM		4175. When in the plane of Madness, be sure to keep hands and legs inside the airship at all times
4176. The bard is NOT allowed to sing the Madness Combat song here.
4177. Andrea is not allowed to recreate scenes from George A. Romero movies
4178. We still cant get the stink out.
4179. We are not starting a rock band
4180. If we were, I'm lead vocals
4181. I am storing the ninja Jaelas we have left in a special area.
4182. If I find V there, I'm letting the Jaelas kill him.
4183. Norbaz, repeat after me, "Canibalism is our last resort, not the first"
4184. I dont care how good the ninja soup is!
4185. Hmm it is good...
4186. The warforged is not an emergancy break
4187. Unless we really need to stop
4188. Or we're drunk
4189. It is wrong to tell the warforged!
4190. Michael, stop calling yourself, "Michael McCellan, human succubus relations."
4191. And stop bragging about speaking perfect Abyssal...
4192. It is NOT the language of love
Charles Phipps

12-17-05, 05:43 AM		4193. Orcus is not your copilot.
4194. Our copilot was just eaten by the 'Colour from Outer Space'
4195. No, I didn't colors were carnivorous either.
4196. The Colour didn't have a name in Lovecraft's time.
4197. It's called "Fuschia" now.
Endless_Helix

12-17-05, 09:38 AM		4198: Do not try to get the Daelkyr to do Ren interpretations; "It is not I who am angry, It is I who am MAD!"
4199. Do not ask the Daelkyr if you could have some "Male Enhancement" symbionts. They've probably got one, but it must hurt like the Fury...
4200. What would it even do? Shoot acid?
4201. Daelkyr do not go "Ho HA!"
4202. In reference to 4201, Do not ask the Daelkyr what a symbiont does. They will explain in detail, with Demonstrations. I think it was Pholly's most embarassing death yet...
urial angel of death

12-17-05, 08:10 PM		4203. no Marish you are not allowed to have "pet" black tentecles
4204. and i'm taking away your wand of Evard's
Drath'ri

12-18-05, 12:23 PM		4205. There shall be no roasting of Lumis (party bard) over the silver flame.
LugWrench

12-18-05, 04:01 PM		4205. Pholly was not named 'Kenny' in a different reality.
4206. You dont have to shout "Oh, my God. They killed Pholly!" every time Pholly dies.
4207. Its not much of a shock at this point.
4208. Betting on how long Pholly lives this time is discouraged.
4209. Unless the captain gets a cut.
4210. Norbaz, Maccaroni & Cheeze does not need 'the soul of a ninja Jaela' as a secret ingredient.
4211. Michael, the cure for a sore throat is not "a shot of booze and a quick slice across the neck"
4212. NOBODY is allowed to put waffles in the haunted toaster.
4213. WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING WAFFLES?!?!?!
Crystalforged

12-18-05, 06:01 PM		Once again off the deep end...




Jarlot: Ugh, I think we have trouble guys...

Doog: What, more deep ones?

V: Some other type of freaky aberration?

Micheal: (whispering) Please be a succubus, pleas be a succubus...

Lisa apparently overhearing tightens her grip on her warhammer, preparing to smite evil.

Jarlot: I don't know but it's really big and its coming right for us!

Suddenly a creature becomes visible though the greasy fog. It could be called humanoid but only in the most vague sense of the word. It has two arms where one would expect them, however it also has six more twisted arms protruding from it's lower body where there should be legs. It's most disturbing feature however is a massive black stinger protruding from its body in place of a head. Simply looking at it seems to promise visions of vistas even more incomprehensible and obscene than the madness that surrounds you.

:coolcthul: Dude, thats like a Uvuudaum (see epic level handbook :D ). They're like bad a** dudes. They're like the ones who the delkyr report to and stuff.

V: Wait a second, I thought the delkyr were meanest, nastiest creatures in Xoriat?!

:coolcthul: Dude, what part of like infinite plane of like infinite madness do you not understand.

Jarlot: Brace yourselves! It's going to ram us!

The uvuudaum slams onto the deck and begins flailing wildly at the crew and stabbing with it's head spike. Suddenly however after a short time it simply flies off again.

Doog: What the :censored: was that about?

Jarlot: I don’t know but I have a bad feeling about this…

Suddenly a door leading below deck burst open and Kelter stumbles out sporting some garish head wounds and carrying a still wiggling tentacle.

Kelter: (mumbling)Mind Flayers... cloning machine... tentacles... head hurts...

Kelter then slips into unconsciousness and falls face first onto the deck.

Jarlot: :censored:, this was all just a diversion so they could get to the cloning machine.

Lisa: We have to stop them just imagine what horrors they could unleash with that thing! Armies of delkyr, hordes of vile aberrations, even more of those spike-headed things…

Doog: Its worse than that look, look!

Doog points towards the door Kelter just came though as dozens of cloans of Queen Aurla start to rush through it. Every one of them has malevolently glowing green eyes and wields a mind blade.

Kanatash, who had been lying low since his ill fated encounter with Ajihazi and the ships even more ill fated passage into Xoriat, chooses this time to reveal himself floating up onto the deck.

Kanatash: (somehow suddenly speaking common) Oh no. Oh :censored: no! I know I’m supposed to be evil and insane and trying to destroy reality and all but that is just going to far. That is just wrong. There is no way in HELL I am going to put up with that. It is just too low even for me.
Charles Phipps

12-18-05, 06:19 PM		Bruce Ki: We need the Captain!

*watches as the massive monstrouscity tears away the machine from the ship to hundreds of miles away in an instant*

*Captain Jarlot staggers out wearing nothing but Bermuda shorts and his pirate cap holding a pair of fruity drinks*

Captain Jarlot: *sings* I've got TWO pinacoladas, one for each hand....we'll set sail with Captain Morgan...and we'll never reach dry land. TROUBBLESSS I'VE forgotten, buried them in the sand....

Lisa: Who gets drunk at a time like this!?

Dooj: *belch*

Ketler: Captain! A monster just took away our cloning machine!

Captain Jarlot: Was it Moby Orcus?

:coolcthul: Moby Orcus?

Captain Jarlot: Yes, he's Orcus except MUCH MUCH MUCH worse. Like you and Mega Cthulhu

:coolcthul: Sniffle....I didn't want to be the small one compared to :88E:

Ketler: What is WITH you and Moby Orcus anyway?

Captain Jarlot: I'll tell you what! Irish rockstars tick me off! Especially ones who remix Bond classics and are vegans!

Ketler: .....that's Moby period.

Captain Jarlot: Oh. Well hell then. I'll just detonate the spirit nuke now.

KABLOOM

Pholly: I feel so envious....

Andrea: Your plan was....to nuke them....with a nuke in the cloning machine.

Captain jarlot: Yeah, its an eldritch machine I picked up in Xen'drick for 3 silvers along with the Isle of Manhatten.

*A passageway has opened up from the strange intersection between the death of such a mighty beast and the detonation of awesome magical power some miles away*

Bruce Ki: At last a way out!

Lisa: We must escape quickly before it collapses...or...doesn't collapse and leads billions of evil entities onto Eberron.

*The Captain steers the ship around to fly out*

Elsewhere

Daelkyr Willy Wonka: Thank the MOCKERY those people are gone!

Daelkyr Clive Barker: You're damn right about that. Those people are too weird even for us.
Phantomcrossing

12-19-05, 01:59 AM		Norbaz - Look, I just thought she was requesting human on the menu when she told me to take the dead one's she didn't want to make into some sort of undead back into the kitchen. Its not my fault it went over so well, I put a choice on the menu for Jaela or chicken. I'm just surprised by it.

Michael - Oh come on, there's no shame in admitting you had some.

Norbaz - Hey, I'm a half giant. I don't care for the racial epitaph of Giants eat people. I'll have you know I just had the chicken. And besides, the new standing orders have forbid me from putting human back on the regular crew menu.

Michael - Then what did you do with the left over cuts of clone Jaela meat that you can't serve the crew.

V - I'm here for the meals for the comatoase Ninja Jaelas.

Norbaz - Here you go (hands him a bucket of some kind of stew).

V - Thank you. It is good to know you are repenting for your murder of so many of their number by doing good for those who remain and are ill at that. (V leaves)

Michael - ...that was made with the left over Jaela cuts, wasn't it.

Norbaz - You see, that is where you and I differ. You go through obvious means of darkness and slaughter in the name of the evils of the world. I on the other hand like to use the cruelty and visciousness of a little thing called subtlety.
Charles Phipps

12-19-05, 03:00 AM		That was utterly horrible.

;-)
Salookanana

12-19-05, 05:26 AM		After dealing with Ninja Jaelas, Jarlot going crazier, a trip to the portal of madness, even more clones, and :coolcthul ‘s insecurity problems, the crew of the Forgotten Freedom was running low on expendable crew.

So at the nearest city…

A long line forms leading into a building the FF crew have “borrowed” for the purpose of getting redshirts.

In the interview room; Jarlot, Marish (Jarlot said so, that’s why), Ketler (To see if any warforged redshirts were well built), Lisa (To check morality of prospects) Michael (To check immorality of prospects), Bruce Ki (Because he can’t find where he is supposed to go), and whoever else feels free to wander in at the moment.
Outside- hundreds of potential corpses…er crew as well as the rest of the FF team.

Outside-
Warforged- I need the following people to get out of the line and go to the “Red Room”: Any dual scimitar wielding drow with panthers, anyone named Sepiroth, Seshomaru, or Goku…


Jarlot- Ok, whos next?
*Pyrokeneticist and Fighter walk in*
Fighter- Uh… Is this like, where we do stuff?
Pyro- Heheh hey hows it going?
Lisa- They don’t look like the brightest torches…
Pyro- Heheh torches! Fire! Fire! Heheheh
Fighter- Woah! Chicks! Uhuhuh, hey babies…
Michael- Hey, I like them!
Jarlot- Ok, why are you two here?
Pyro and Fighter- Money! And chicks! And fire! And chicks!
Doog (whos in the room)- Sound like perfectly good reasons to me!


Warforged- Any ninjas who want to become ninja pirates, any kenders…

Jarlot- So why do you want to join?
Orange Warforged- Statement- Simple. Your reputation states that your crew has the highest rate of murder and/or pillaging per voyage
Bruce/Lisa-WHAT?!?!
Jarlot- Er… he’s mistaken! That’s …. Someone else… Why don’t you two go… ship… there!
Michael- So, what, you wanna kill everything?
O.W-Clarification: Only those things worthy of my time, meat bag.
Ketler- Hmm, this is a well built warforged
O.W.- Statement: At least this meat bag can respect the quality of my construction.


At the “Red Room”
V- The smelly one is supposed to be here!
Doog- Hey I’m here, lets get ready
One of many Drow w/scimitars- Hey we heard this is where we are supposed to be.
Suddenly the room is flooded with alchemest fire by the crew. Those remaining are beaten with sticks.
Doog- I love this job!
Norbaz- Hm, alchemest fire cooks fast, and yet locks in the flavor well.
Andrea- Ok, we’ll split the bodies evenly between food and zombies.
Norbaz- Ok, but you take those drows. They aren’t fit to eat…
Pholly- Yes! I CAN USE ALCHEMIST FIRE FOR THIS! WOOT! Jarlot even said so!


Marish- Meow! These guys look good.
A Wizard, a Fighter, a Rouge and a Mystic Theuge walk in*
Jarlot- So why do you want to join us?
Rouge- Treasure!
Wizard- Killing!
Fighter-Swords!
MT-EXP!
Michael- MY SWORDS!
Jarlot- MY EXP!
Marish- MY TREASURE!
Michael- MY KILLING!
Lisa- Oh, this is just not good at all…


Warforged- Anyone from the Silver Flame, anyone claiming to be Zaphod Beeblebrox, any amnesiac young RPG stereotypes…


Lisa- Uh… can we help you
Silver Warforged- No. No one can.
Michael- What the hell are you here for?
Warforged- I wish to spread the misery that is my existence to as many beings as possible.
Jarlot- Well, this is the ship
Marish- This thing is even bringing me down…
Warforged- If you think being near a depressed warforged is bad, try being one.

Waiting Room-

O.W.-Analysis- The meat bag pirates seem to be incompetent
SW- They all are. Every body.
OW- Query- If you dislike everything why not destroy it all?
SW- What’s the point? If I kill an organic, two more will have been bourn and I’ll wear out before I can chip away at it.
OW- Query- But why not have fun killing things until you wear out?
SW- Fun? There’s no such thing. It’s just deluding your sensors and forgetting about the inevitable for a while. It’s just like those meat bags.



Pyro- Heheh those chicks were checking me out
Fighter- Liar. Huhuhuh. They were checking ME out.
Chrys

12-19-05, 12:05 PM		I wonder if this would be a good time to intro a Char I've been thinking about. :embarrass

Edit:

Cyrp (Male Daelkyr Half-Blood Paladin 3/ Ranger 2/ Sorcerer 1/ Impure Prince 4 :P )

Cyrp mother was a somewhat over zealous Paladin of the Silver Flame; who made it her mission in life to destroy all the evil influence around the temple that she was guarding from undead invasion during the last war. One day she went out to deal with some reported monsters in some near by caves. She never came back to the temple.

She was taken prisoner by a Daelkyr worshiping sect of the Cult of the Dragon below. At this point Cyrp knowledge of his mother fate fades; after he was born, the cult gave him over to the Aberrations. However, luckily for him it was a roving embarrassment of Flumphs (I think those are the LG Aberrations).

The Flumphs raised him in the ways a valor and honor there own odd brand faith. When he reached adulthood out in to the light of day …

As of now he currently is being chased/hunted by bother member of the Gatekeepers and the Silver Flame (who think he had something to do with his mother death… and don’t really like his take on Paladin-ing)

Cyrp has Three Symbionts: Tomek (Spellwurm; ‘brother’), Nev (Strom Stalk; Class), Bob (Tentacle Whip, gift from the Flumphs)
Calibim

12-19-05, 12:50 PM		4212. NOBODY is allowed to put waffles in the haunted toaster.
4213. WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING WAFFLES?!?!?!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"Woah...it's a tosted human hand..."


"The Amytiville toaster, make breakfast spooky, spooky talk from toaster, spooky eat me toast, yum yum yum, .......human hand."
Missekat

12-19-05, 04:33 PM		has any DM ever succesfully tried killing someone with a Flumph?

Just curious.
LugWrench

12-19-05, 08:06 PM		They made a movie, about it, I think, Missekat. Ever seen any of the 'Aliens' movies? :P
Missekat

12-20-05, 03:16 AM		:rofl: :heehee
Dex

12-20-05, 05:25 AM		lol

BTW anyone remember the toaster from Ghostbusters 2? Man, I'd hate to get any of that slime near this ship...
Crystalforged

12-20-05, 04:47 PM		What? No one liked my story? I mean nobodies even mentioned it and it had everything! I mean it had Soulknife Aurala's for petes sake! I mean... Its just... (sniffle :weep: )

(Oh, by the way I'm just joking, its no big deal)

Well then I'll continue it myself...



The crew (Kanatash included) has entered a pitched battle with the Soulknife with redshirts being used by several of the more "morally challenged" crew members as human/halfling/gnome/warforged/etc. shields.

Doog: (while fending off two Aurlas) So, ugh, freaky, insane, Khalashtar, ghost thingy, when did you like start speaking common?

Kanatash: (While nuking Aurlas buy the dozen) The name is Kanatash.

Doog: Right, Kanatash, so when did you start speaking common?

Kanatash: I do not know myself the how, when, or why of that question although I can only postilize it had something to do with my near death experiece and return to dimensional limbo of Xoriat.

Doog: Um, suuuuuure. Ok, second question why are you helping us? I though you wanted to destroy reality.

Kanatash: Oh, I still wish to rend the fabric of the universe asunder but I have learned something from my recent experiences. First of all I now understand why my Delkyr masters have chosen not to crush you pitiful plane long ago. You see they long ago could have rent the pitiful druid seals but they prefer to take their time in the matter. I now understand why, since I have shed my mortal form to become pure though I am effectively among the immortals and it so much more pleasurable to drag out the fraying of your reality for milenea until reality collapses under its own weight than to go for the instant gratification of swiftly and brutally snaping reality as you know it.

Doog: Umm, Ok. Meaning what?

Kanatash: I still plan to destroy reality and I still serve the Delkyr but I will not betray you and I do not plan to destroy reality until long after you, your descendants, and everyone you have ever known is long dead of old age.

Doog: Sound fine to me!

Lisa: Well I guess its sort of an improvement.

Kanatash: Your approval means nothing to me but I have tired of this pointless combat aginst these crimes against both nature and madness.

Kanatash mentally repairs the damage he did to the ninja Jealas freeing them from their catonic state. The Jealas rush the deck and recognizing the Aurlas and kill several of them before the rest flee into the madness of Xoriat. (of course what is the chances of that being the end of them :devil: )
Charles Phipps

12-20-05, 05:11 PM		I loved it actually.
LugWrench

12-20-05, 08:13 PM		Michael and Doog traipse down the passageway, arguing over what liquor is cheaper and still gives you the best buzz.

Michael Im tellin ya, man. That Bluevine crap is strictly for the suckers, now if you want something good...

Doog (stopping outside a heavily scorched door) Hey, aint this Pholly-guys room?

Michael Yeah....(grins evilly) hey, check this.

Michael carefully opens the door, revealing Pholly trying to delicately mix alchemists fire, totally absorbed in his work. Michael motions Doog to step back out of the doorway, and pulls a paper bag from his cloak. He grins wickedly, inflates the bag, then claps it between his hands with a loud bang.

Pholly Wha!?! (totally screws the mixture)

Phollys room explodes, a gout of flame jets into the corridor and a smell of charred Pholly fills the area. Doog and Michael laugh.

Michael Man, I never get tired of doing that!
Macrovore

12-21-05, 12:37 AM		what exactly does it mean to be "keel-hauled", anyway?
4214. FOR THE LAST FREAKIN' TIME
I AM NOT BATMAN
Jastra of the clawed hand

12-21-05, 02:14 AM		Bein keelhauled means to be bound with a rope and to be dragged underneath the ship. From side to side if the person is supposed to live, from back to front if you want the offender dead ( for few people can hold their breath that long).
Dex

12-21-05, 03:01 AM		Of course, this is an airship, so you usually don't have to worry about drowning (see the Rule which prohibited the submersion of the airship). Walking the plank, however, is a much more dangerous prospect - though i think the captain has long since had the ship's keel studded with adamantine metal spikes ;)
Crystalforged

12-21-05, 09:03 AM		Origionally posted by Charles Phipps
I loved it actually.
Glad to hear it I guess I was just disipointed that nobody wanted to run with the Aurla cloans thing.
Charles Phipps

12-21-05, 03:49 PM		Glad to hear it I guess I was just disipointed that nobody wanted to run with the Aurla cloans thing.

I'll figure something to do with them later. Maybe V can make the comatose clones his family.
rampant

12-22-05, 02:18 AM		oh come on we know norbaz is gonna get to them first, no one really wants to argue with him especially when he starts heating the frying pan (cheap flaming weapon spell effect)

what I want to know is how he cooks em

the top of page 21 for my preference
Phantomcrossing

12-22-05, 02:24 AM		Hey, Norbaz only cooked that one batch because it was a request, he prides himself on providing the crew with food based on feedback. And Kanatash already woke them up and undid the damage he did if you read a few posts back...just...I hope they don't get mad clone sickness from the solution to getting rid of the jaela cuts Norbaz had left over from the first go.
Quoriil

12-22-05, 11:54 AM		As long as he was careful to clean and gut them without breaking into any spinal or brain material, everyone should be safe. :)
Missekat

12-22-05, 12:04 PM		Am I the only one who looks oddly at her pizza while reading this? :yuck:
Calibim

12-22-05, 12:26 PM		Am I the only one who looks oddly at her pizza while reading this? :yuck:

Long Wang: Nope.....you gonna finish that?

For those who didn't see the original write up for Long Wang Hung, one of his Talent/Feats is “View Huge Amounts Of Bloody Mutilation And Still Eat Fast Food” :D
Missekat

12-22-05, 12:30 PM		:clap: :bounce: :thumbsup:
Calibim

12-22-05, 12:37 PM		:clap: :bounce: :thumbsup:

Awww shucks...it twern't nuthin :blush:
Dex

12-23-05, 02:15 AM		I thought there was a rule against using dead crew members as rations? :P

4213. None of the crew are allowed to tell prospective crew members what we eat, apart from "food".
4214. Stop eyeing Squishy hungrily, we've still got plenty of Jeala cuts left.
4215. We do not enjoy eating our fellow humanoids.
4216. It is wrong to tell the Paladin this.
urial angel of death

12-23-05, 10:30 AM		4217. squishy has said many times his kind are not edible, he knows this from experience
rampant

12-24-05, 02:55 AM		4218. Stop telling the newbies that squishy is edible.
Salookanana

12-24-05, 04:44 AM		LugWrench- Nice story! heh.

4219. Norbaz, stop trying to deep fry Squishy!
4220. And stop telling the dwarf lady Squishy is an ingredeant for soup.
4221. Do not refer to the warforged as Anchor or Emergancy Break
4222. When its nearby
4223. I know, i have used it as a anchor on several occations
4224. What do you mean I didnt tie it to the ship?! Who asked you?!?!
4225. V, if you are doing with those clones what i think you are, KEEL!
4226. Anyone who tells V what the "Secret Ingredeant" to the meals are gets the keel.
4227. Ketler, why are you trying to awaken the keel? It's seen so much gore i dont want to know how it will turn out.
4228. No, Bruce Ki, Awaken is not the opposite of a Sleep spell...
4229. There isn't a elf with the Obese flaw flying around Eberron giving out gifts
4230. If there where, we would have to find him, kill him, and steal his stuff.
4231. Hm, sounds good actually. Who has divination spells?
Endless_Helix

12-24-05, 09:20 AM		4232. I am not this Santa Claus you keep talking about.
4233. However we will tell the paladins this so we can climb down chimneys to loot stuff from houses with her permission.
4234. We will not climb down the pontif's chimney to kidnap her. I think the paladin would be clued in to our intentions.
4235. Do not take the warforged or tell the warforged about our illicit activities.
4236. Lisa is no longer allowed to look at rules 4232-4236.

Also I think we've got a new character on our hands....

John (awakened dire keel)
Ketler was experimenting on the keel to make it a good deal more deadly at the captain behest, meaning he was paid and blackmailed into it. He'd been reading about the druid olian a bit in one of his college texts that he kept and thought that making the keel sentient would mean it would be more deadly.
After the process finished, John was born. John is Lawful Good and just wants to hug people. He's an all around nice guy who just wishes that someone would wash the blood off of him. Unfortunately, he doesn't have any arms. He hangs out with :coolcthul and sometimes with Lisa.

As a result of Ketler's experimentation John has the following special abilities:

Natural weapons: Adamantine spikes +5 (+10 vs Humanoids)
AC 12 and Hardness 30 50 hp
Wis 14, Int 10, Ego 12
Spell Like Abillities
At will: Inflict light wounds, inflict light damage, ray of enfeeblement
3/day: Inflict Moderate wounds, Inflict Moderate damage, fireball
1/day: Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke
LugWrench

12-24-05, 01:52 PM		Pholly -- The What? Can cast WHAT?!? Gosh, I feel so insignificant now. Wait, I know. Ill come up with Alchemists Nuke!! Yeah, thats the ticket!! (at this point, Pholly is clubbed to 0 hp by the entire crew.)

Ships cleric -- (idly cleaning his nails) No. Stop. Dont hit him. Why are you doing that?

Captain Jarlot -- Dont worry, Im cutting his pay to cover the repair bills.
Dex

12-25-05, 08:26 PM		:heehee to both!
Crystalforged

12-26-05, 01:43 AM		I figure the crew always needs more red shirts so I thought I would toss out a few more intervews...

Kanatash floats into the room followed by a Mind Flayer, a Gauth, and an Aboleth. On seeing the Mindflayer Kelter screems and dives under the table trembling.

Jarlot: Um, Kanatash who are these guys?

Kanatash: (telepathicly) These are just some individuals I encountered before taking residence aboard your ship.

Jarlot: Ok, would you care to introduce them.

Kanatash: Of course (pointing towards the Mind Flayer) This is Jonny the retard Illithed. Not only is he stupid by Mindflayer Standards but also by the standards of your crew. When I encountered him he was trying to hump a doornob in the middle of a dwarven stronghold. (Moving on the the Gauth) This is Squinty the nearsighted Gauth. He is so blind that he can not see what is happening ten feet away from him and he has corrective eyeglasses for all of his eyestalks. Unfortunately, these glasses tend to reflect his eyerays back at himself and has to date blasted out three of his own eyes.

Jarlot: (looking quite taken aback) I probably want to know but... What about the Aboleth?

Kanatash: Ah yes, perhaps the most pathetic individual of the bunch, Melvin the Alergic Aboleth. He has a breathing disorder with makes it so he cannot breath underwater but unfortunately for him is also allergic to his own mucus cloud so if he is not submerged in water to wash away the mucus his body constantly generates he breaks out in horrible rashes and hives.

Marish: (with a look of pity) Why are you friends with these things, Kanatash?

Kanatash: Oh, I'm not friends with them. After all I'm trying to get them hired on this ship as redshirts and I know what happens to the redshirts on this ship. I'm doing this so these idiots will stop trying to follow me.
LugWrench

12-26-05, 04:41 AM		Jarlot -- (to the rest of the interview committie) Well, as redshirts go, these guys wouldnt be half bad. Im not sure how Pholly will take it, though.

Cleric -- With luck the little geek will blow himself to smithereens over this one.

Marish -- Now, now. He does fill a vital role in this crew.

Cleric -- Yeah? Like what?

Marish and Jarlot think for a while.

Jarlot -- You know, now that you ask....

Marish -- Safety! The man is a shining example of how NOT to use alchemists fire. Or any other explosive, for that matter. And he has other uses, too. Like trapfinding. Nobody trips a lethal trap like ol' Pholly. Why, if he wasnt there to take those nasty traps in the teeth, you would have more work on your hands, you ingrateful band-aid dispenser!

Jarlot -- That, and the pool on when hes going to blow himself up next is up to 300 gold.....
Salookanana

12-26-05, 05:45 AM		And now a festive tale of piracy!

Jarlot- Ok, you ungratful lot! I got you all stuff so you would shut up. They arent gifts- They're coming out of your pay!

Squishy climbs into his brand new greathelm. "Whoop de freakin doo"

Michael unwraps a dark, evilly glowing sword. "This is just what i wanted! After succubi I mean..."

Marish gets a big bowl of cat nip! Fun times for all!

Doog gets a Codpiece of Holding.... Which is really one of Devouring :smirk:

Lisa gets a better Hammer of Healing! "I think ill try it out now..." She says as she catches Michael attempting to grope her. "Not so fast!" He shouts, "SUNDER!!!"
Long Wang- Uh you missed the hammer. You sundered her breast plate...
Michael- What hammer??
*SMASH!!!*

V gets a pile of Jaela pictures. And an extra Ninja Jaela

Norbaz gets more bodies to use for food.

The Warforged gets respect. Just kidding. He gets nothing!!

Ketler gets a pile of parts for whatever those bloody invetors do.

John, the Keel, gets all the people he can hug.

Bruce Ki gets a new blindfold... which looks exactly like the one he lost last week!

Long Wang gets a brand new bag of stuff! Just what he wanted!

Kanatash gets to live. After all the crap he put us through, he should be gratefull!

:coolcthul gets a brand new "Grovestock" t shirt.

The quori gets told that another personality allready got the gift.

Andrea got a book on necromancy and some Febreze to make the zombies smell less.

Pholly got Alchemest's Fire. No, just kidding. He got some Cure Light Wounds potions. He needs those alot more

Jam got a pack of Cure potions as well. He also has a problem not getting fried...

And Jarlot gets ale! That he bought with money that came from the crew's pay.

And the dwarf lady has made everyone a sweater!



Happy Hollidays from the worst party in Eberron!



Edited to add more people! And funny.
Charles Phipps

12-26-05, 07:01 AM		Happy Hollidays from the worst party in Eberron!

Best..post...evar

;-)
Endless_Helix

12-26-05, 08:32 AM		Well... the tragedy of John the Keel is he has no arms...

Just two-foot adamantine spikes.

John: Daddy? Why didn't you give me arms for christmas?

Ketler: Because you need to hurt people, other than me.

John: But Dad... I don't want to hurt people...

Ketler: Sweet Jaela's panties! Get over it! You can deal the most damage of anyone on the ship and you're whining about this peaceful bull****! Have you been hanging out with :coolcthul again?

John: ... yes...

Ketler: Grrr... I'll have to have a word with him. Don't let him near you! This is your last warning! If I see him around again I'll ground you!
Dex

12-27-05, 01:00 AM		4237. I would like to remind the crew this festive season that the following substances are NOT an ingredient in eggnog: Dreamlily, Black Lotus Extract, Jeala cuts, Carrion crawler brain juice, alchemist's fire, Inflict potions, Vilestar, alchemist's frost, anything else that makes the Detect Poison spell go "PING!", vampire blood, shoe polish, Squishy, Squinty, Pholly, any other crew members (ex-, dead, alive or not alive (as the warforged)), Michael's spit, catnip (unless Marish adds it herself), chewing gum...
rampant

12-27-05, 02:13 AM		punch, troll guts, troll fingers (especially the kind that regrow into whole trolls its only funny the first fifty times), mummy dust, anything smig or chalky won't eat, anything the warforged won't put in its mouth 3 times, anything pholly thinks of, anything the ithillid has handled, the aboleths mucus, squinty's glasses, anything smig wants to put in, :coolcthul, chicken soup, sweaters,...




the scary thing is no matter how much stuff gets forbidden they keep coming up with new ways to cause chaos
havershame_swordflinger

12-27-05, 10:12 AM		anything that you have to buy in a dark ally, or back room, from a shady chactor, or another member of the crew, if you think you should ask then no you can't add it either, if you think you shouldn't ask then it's forbiden as well, any substance that starts with alchemists, no you can't make it with Raptorien eggs, dragon eggs are ok...
LugWrench

12-27-05, 08:45 PM		4238. Pholly is hereby forbidden from storing his alchemists fire next to the booze.
4239. We are not RPGA-sanctioned.
4240. Would you sponsor us?
4241. I thought not.
4242. The druid is forbidden from trying to Awaken the spam.
4243. Its just not right.
4244. Spam is an abberation, after all.
4245. I must not offer an Illithid some escargot.
4246. A Disenchanter is not a good pet.
4247. Despite being a boost to morale, I must stop putting 'Kick me' signs on the captains back.
4248. And I certainly cant put a sign on his back that reads "ask me about my bounty" when in public.
Macrovore

12-28-05, 12:45 AM		2017. Any use of the words "Jaela" "Mage hand" "Evards Black Tentacles" and "Prestigation" In the same sentance will result in keelhauling

because Jaela is not Japanese, nor is she a schoolgirl.
LugWrench

12-29-05, 06:10 PM		4249. A Warforged Repair Kit is not a good Christmas presend for Merrix d'Cannith.
4250. A note reading "IOU One Brain -Soveregn Host" is a good present for King Boreanal.
4251. Dont worry, he wont figure it out.
4252. Due to last years problems, we are not allowed to send presents to Jaela.
rampant

12-31-05, 02:43 AM		4253. I should know better than to ask, but, why is the tree still there and when are those lights gonna get taken down.

4254. I'm not Chris Kringle either whoever the hell that is.

4255. St. Nick? not on this ship sucker.
Dex

12-31-05, 08:08 AM		4256. We hog-tied the last Saint we met, shoved him in a closet and impersonated him to get close to Jaela, remember?
4257. It is wrong to tell Lisa this.
4258. It is also wrong to talk about destroying or stealing her hammer...
4259. ...unless she's definelty out of earshot.
Endless_Helix

12-31-05, 02:46 PM		New Years Resolutions for the Forgotten Freedom and her crew

I resolve to mercilessly keel haul anyone who disagrees with me and to drink twice as much alcohol as last year -Capt Jarlot

I resolve to bring peace on eberron and have more patience with my horribly evil fellow crewmen -Lisa

I resolve to do twice as much destroying, wenching, spreading of debauchery, and groping of female crewmembers as I did last year. Ey! Doog! Pass the Keg! -Michael

I resolve to not blow myself up as often -Pholly

I resolve to teach the Catgirl her place, kill her and use her corpse as one of my minions. -Andrea

I resolve to tear reality asunder to hear what sort of noise it makes when it's dying. I think it sounds like a duck. -Khantash

I (we) resolve to keep my (our) selves together and to keep the Quori from ever coming back. -Ajihazi, The Child, The Cavalier, and Maisy of Elms Street

I resolve to crush the pathetic little half-breed once and for all and finally climb astride the world as it's final ruler! There will be rivers of blood! Yes! And Kittens!- The Quori

I resolve to find more swords- Stupid

I resolve to actually develop some artistic talent, and eat Squishy. -Chalky

I resolve to be twice as cute cuddly and disturbingly attractive. I also resolve to find a steady supply of catnip -Marish, the Cat Girl

I resolve to kill whoever caused the mourning and indoctrinate Jaela to be the next ruler of Cyre -V

I resolve to try to stop Awakening things on the ship. The Awakened Toilet was a bit much probably... -Ketler

I resolve to find someone to make me some arms so I can hug people. -John, awakened dire Keel
Charles Phipps

12-31-05, 04:57 PM		A Celebration of Religious Diversity on the Forgotten Freedom

*In Lisa's room decorated with countless solar symbol icons of the Keep of Flame like the sideways X of holiness, the glorious burning braziers of light, and candles to illuminate the holiness of this most sacred of holidays. There the red haired Lisa sits on her knees in cupped hands prayer*

Lisa: Oh holy Flame, I have struggled to be good this year and keep away from all temptations. Wrath, Pride, Envy of my fellows in Thrane, Lu....well I'd never admit that last one to any crew members....

*outside the door Michael has a glass to the door and makes a 'ca-ching' gesture*

Lisa: But mostly Wrath. I only ask that you forgive me my sins and help me get through another year with the Forgotten Freedom until my penance is complete and I may return to celestial glory in Thrane. I also ask that you please do something about the bounty that is on my head as part of a terrible misunderstanding that fails to take in account my extreme service. For this, I shall spend the rest of the night in humble prayer as is the custom on Flamemas.

*It was then that someone started to play a Horn of Blasting like a saxaphone*

Lisa: *covering her ears* THE HELL!?

*the paladin then promptly headed out to find the most paganly bedecked out ship on Eberron with the the ship covered in mistle toe, fountains of wine, shiftergirls in Togas dancing around throwing petals, and a massive banquet table covered in food that was stolen from all portions of Eberron while animals ran around on the ground. Weirdly, weapons and skulls were strewn around the Forgotten Freedom as well. OTHER activities were far far worse*

Lisa:.....what is all this?

*Captain Jarlot then walked up to her wearing a giant horned helmet, furs, and carrying a warhammer*

Captain Jarlot: It's Dol-Dornmas silly! The holy night of attack!

Lisa: The what?

Captain Jarlot: Every year, my people, the Dol-dornians of Argonessan's island chain celebrate what is most important in life. Sex, Drinking, and Battle!

Michael: *wearing his own horn helmet while between two shifter girls* Remarkably like my God's holiday! Devourermass!

Lisa: First of all you're a Seren?

Captain Jarlot: We prefer to call ourselves 'The Ass Kicking Children of the Dragon' paleface.

*Marish walked up to Jarlot in her own Toga made out to look like a bikini*

Marish: Hey, Cap'n. The girls want you to know that it's 5 gp a piece.

Captain Jarlot: Oh for the sake of Dol Dorn's mighty hammer could Ketler stop racking up debts! We haven't even gotten to the orgiastic ritual!

Lisa: This...this...is totally offensive.

Captain Jarlot: I'm glad you agree. Pholly really hasn't even prepared the star we're going to drop on Time's Square in Sharn when it hits new years!

*Ketler walks out*

Ketler: Damnit! I hate Dol Dornmas! It's a reminder how my God isn't any fun! All we do is build stuff!

Jarlot: Well why don't you go ride the mechanical bull in celebration of me and Bruce Ki's god.

Lisa: Bruce Ki is a Dol Dorn worshipper?

*Bruce Ki drunkedly stumbles in wearing a lampshade*

Bruce Ki: I'mnotallowwwwwweedddd to drink normally because of my MONk....vowwwssssssss but in celbbbraaaationn of my God, I get....

*Bruce Ki slammed to the ground unconscious*

Jarlot: Man, two drinks and Bruce is anybodies.

*Andrea walks out wearing black robes and carrying a bloody dagger*

Andrea: Okay, will you keep it down out here! I'm attempting to sacrifice in the name of my Dark Lord.

Voice from Her Cabin: THE KEEPER HUNGERS FOR THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT

*Pholly blows himself up again with the fireworks*

Pholly: I don't really celebrate Dol Dornmas very often. We gnomes have our own holidays.

Jarlot: *various ethnic slurs against gnomes*

Pholly: That is totally uncalled for!

Jarlot: Well you shouldn't have *religious justification for ethnic slur*

Pholly: That's it! Watch next time you sit on the John boy!

*Dooj wanders in wearing his own Dol-dornmas suit*

Dooj: Dude, the mechanical Bull is running down.

Jarlot: Ah man! We haven't even had him smash through a Chinashop!

Lisa: That's not a mechanical bull! That's Stupid in a minotaur hat!

:coolcthul: I'm celebrating with my mom!

Lisa: Your...mother.

From :coolcthul:'s room: The Dragon Below Hungers for her son!

*V walks in*

V: I demand this ship cease this party immediately!

Lisa: I agree!

V: Everyone knows the gods are simply a creation of the nobility to keep down the weak minded.

Lisa: Y...what!?

Jarlot: I'm sorry, we BELIEVERS have no place for your kind.

V: Seperation of Church and Ship is guaranteed by the By-laws of this....

Lisa: *hits V with hammer*

Jarlot: I had to tell our Kalashatyr the same thing after he tried to say the Quori were the source of the gods.

Marish: I worship Arawai! Fertility in addition to Food!

Andrea: ....I knew I should have been a Volite. Automatic health benefits.....no disrupting my daily routine.

Lisa: Captain, this is for your own good.

*POUNDS THE CAPTAIN HORRIBLY*

*As Jarlot lays there, he sees an image of Marvel Comic's Thor hovering in the sky*

Jarlot: Master....

Marvel's Thor: Thou hast forgotten the true meaning of Dol-Dorn mass my yonder boon companion. It is not about decorations and pomp...it's about drinking and finding someone's ass to beat....in many meanings. Now go forth and wreck havok in mine name.

Ketler:.....does anyone else see the big blonde dude hovering over the Captain?

Michael: Yeah, that's Marish's date. I think he's a Radiant idol.
Charles Phipps

12-31-05, 04:58 PM		New Years Resolutions for the Forgotten Freedom and her crew

Awesome Helix.

;-)
Salookanana

12-31-05, 08:16 PM		*Looks at Resolutions and Parties...*


:ayyyy!: :ayyyy!: :heehee

Awsome stuff!
LugWrench

01-01-06, 03:35 AM		Now as long as people dont mistake Pholly's concoctions for the high-class hooch, it should be a pleasant party.
However, antiacids and PeptoBismo are on hand. :D
Thwyvylyn

01-01-06, 03:41 AM		Potions of "Unclog Digestive Tract" are also instock...unless Pholly messed with em... :nonono:
LugWrench

01-01-06, 04:31 AM		Or would that be Expiditious Unclog ?

You know, with all this stuff about Christmas and New Years, I cringe to see how these yahoos will celebrate Valentine's Day, Halloween, and Thanksgiving....
:gah:
Charles Phipps

01-01-06, 04:50 AM		Or would that be Expiditious Unclog ?

You know, with all this stuff about Christmas and New Years, I cringe to see how these yahoos will celebrate Valentine's Day, Halloween, and Thanksgiving....
:gah:

Jarlot: Dol Dornmas is a lesson we can take for all year long!

*waves hammer of thunder*
rampant

01-01-06, 09:02 AM		4260. Smig is smiling that can't be good. What ever it is its on the list.

4261. That goes double for the wild-mage (remember him?)

I resolve to toss a hundred times more fireballs this year - anyone with use magic device or actual spellcasting but mostly said wild mage
Endless_Helix

01-01-06, 10:31 AM		Michael stumbles from his cabin at about noonish, yawns, and looks around.

Everyone is staring at him.

"Wha? Did I miss something on my face? Do have som'thin' stu*yawn*uck in my teeth?"

"Er..."

The remnants of his toga are inching perilously closer to the ground.

"Oh, y'all 're jealous ain'cha?" Michael laughs, flashes everyone, and reattaches his toga to his shoulder. He walks into the latrine

Lisa- Oh Tira! It was horrible! Unholy! It was so... small!
Jarlot pats her on the back- It's alright Lisa. We were forced to see it too.

Doog- Ketler, what did you do to the keel?
Ketler- Hmm? Oh, John? I awakened him about a week ago.
Doog- No, I know that, but what did you do to him recently?
Ketler- Nothing *looks as innocent as possible*
Doog- Ketler, if you don't tell me I'll drop a hint to the captain about your illicit Jaela doll collection.
Ketler- I... uh... gave him a few enhancements.
Doog- What kind of enhancements?
Ketler- Well... Detect Evil for one, Shocking grasp and a few other things. Why are you so, ah... tetchy about this?
Doog- Cuz I had to talk the keel out of nuking the ship. You should remove some of those enhancements.
Ketler- Mmm... the shocking grasp probably was a bit excessive.

Michael- Hey Jarlot!
Jarlot- What?! Can't you see I'm busy here?!
Michael- No. But anyway, what did you put in that eggnog, man?
Jarlot- Milk, butter, Jaela cuts; the normal stuff. Why do you ask?
Michael- The toilet was making odd sounds, when I walked in it asked me what I was looking at and-
Jarlot- It asked you?
Michael- Yeah, and it ralphed all over the wall. So I walked over and tried to open the lid-
Jarlot- It ralphed ?
Michael- Yeah. It was the first time I've ever had to wrestle a toilet seat up to take a dump. When I finally got on, it was like, screaming. But I think I killed it.
Jarlot- Well you better- What? You killed it?
Michael- Yeah. Apparently whatever you fed us was so toxic that it made the latrine sick. Mine was the worst, so it must've killed the toilet.
Jarlot- Alright, I'll get Stupid to clean up the mess and you go console Ketler. He's probably putting some modifications on the Keel.

John- HEY! Don't come any closer man! I'll do it!
Michael- Do what?
John- I can do it! I'll nuke the ship, you evil person!
Michael- Whoa there buckshot, why would you do that?
John- The ship is full of evil! Lisa says that all corruption should be smote.
Michael- Yeah, well, Lisa is a bit of an extremist.
John- What do you mean?
Michael- She was thrown out of her order for being too millitant and violent.
John- She was?
Michael- Don't listen to her to seriously. Remember there are other ways to deal with evil.
John- There are?
Michael- Yeah, more peaceful ways, like lecturing people on how to change their evil habits.
John- I'll have to think on that.
Michael- Okay.

Later
Doog- Michael did you actually believe any of that?
Michael- Nope, but I still did an evil thing.
Doog- Are you kidding me? You turned the keel into Ghandi!
Michael- Yeah, but do you want to be lectured by him while you're hanging there?
Doog- Point taken.
rampant

01-02-06, 01:10 AM		Wow!

Micheal is so evil he can work such torment through an act of good. Its something you would expect from Lucifer itself. Thats an act of transcendant evil if there ever was such a thing.
Salookanana

01-02-06, 02:34 AM		It comes with being a blackguard. I think its a class skill or something.


Random Redshirt-NOOoooo!! Not the keel!!!!
John- You know, you really should think of changing your out look. If you had a more positve view on the world...
Redshirt- GAH! THE SPIKES AUGH!!!
John- ... and :coolcthul told me that by sharing your feelings with those you are opposed to...
Jarlot- We are headed over mountans now! Why dont I fly a little lower
Redshirt-GAHALRLBLELBLE
John- ...if we just learn to work together Eberron can be a utopia for all...
Redshirt-HURK! BLURKABL!


Michael- A keelhauling with a lecuture. Wow, this is the evilist thing I have done that I can remember. This calls for a victory drink!
Charles Phipps

01-02-06, 04:51 AM		Michael: The...hell?

White wearing Captain Jarlot: We've all decided to convert to goodness and purity because of the light of our holy keel's teachings.

Ketler covered in flowers: Groovy man! Peace out.

Pholly: I am overwhelmed with joy to my fellow man.

V: *has converted his grinning death mask to general good cheer* I no longer will engage in vengeance or violence.

Stupid: I like plowshears.

Michael: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*runs into the wall and leaves a Michael traced hole in it*

Keter: Wow, that worked better than I thought.

Jarlot: I was hoping he'd jump overboard.

Ketler: That will teach him to go beyond our crew charter.

Jarlot: kill, maim, and plunder but NEVER do you lecture a fellow pirate.
Endless_Helix

01-02-06, 09:34 AM		4262: Stupid is no longer to be keelhauled. He may actually take the keel seriously.
4263: A new punishment for Stupid is to dropped in a pit of rust monster blood. That'll teach him.
4264:Suggestions are welcome on new ideas to punish Stupid for being stupid.

:coolcthul : Hey John!
John : Yes, brother?
:coolcthul : Have you reached enlightenment yet?
John: No, brother, I have not, nor ever will. What is enlightenment?
:coolcthul : I don't know. I think there's a dictionary somewhere around here...
John: I sincerely doubt that would help you find Enlightenment.
:coolcthul : Well damn, that's pretty enlightened of you! You know how to find enlightenment, so you must be enlightened! I'm going to name you Buddhasiddhartatheresaghandi.
John: My thanks. But my curiosity is aroused; what does it mean?
:coolcthul : It means "Enlightened one"
John: You are far too kind... Honestly, though, it is a bit hard on the tongue.
:coolcthul : Mmm... well it is in xoriat, I suppose it could be shortened to "Buddha" without loosing too much meaning...
LugWrench

01-03-06, 04:50 PM		New Character.

Devon
Human Male, Fighter 3, Bard 3.
Devon hails from, as he terms it, "parts unknown". In actuallity, the parts are known as Sharn. He just uses mystery to enhance his standing with the ladies, as he terms it. Most women term it 'hopelessly pathetic'.
Devon's fighting abilties are marginal at best, meaning he only occastionally releases the bow instead of the arrow, and knows what end of his sword to point at the badguys. His Bardic Song abilities are limited, to be charitable. Most of his 'songs' are sappy love songs that are too nauseatingly treacley to stand for much more than a minute, at best.
His Bardic Knowledge ability has come in handy from time to time, though he rarely uses it as intended. When asked what he uses the skill for, he smiles a too-white smile and claims 'Well, I need to keep track of all the paternity suits, baby.' To date, no such suits have surfaced.
His Bardic Knowledge abilities tend to steer more towards the locations of bars, taverns, Inns, brothels, and local decency laws than anything else.
Devon also seems to own a disturbing number of Charisma-enhancing magical items. He is rarely seen without at least one ring, cloak, necklace or brooch, and hat or circlet that enhances his Charisma.

Sorry, just felt that its time for a pathetic prettyboy. I figure a geek like this would fit in quite nicely. :D
Thwyvylyn

01-03-06, 06:44 PM		The Crew: Ohhhh, a new piece of meat, err crewmember. (In unison) "You must walk the Path of Death!"

Devon:Whaa???

Jarlot: (clearly raging drunk and wearing a monkey suit) "PATH OF DEATH!!!!" (makes monkey noises but gets wailed on by Lisa before he can fling anything.)
Charles Phipps

01-03-06, 08:16 PM		New assignment,

A cleric for the group.

;-)

or maybe Bullet Tooth Tony is the cleric.

hehehe.
LugWrench

01-03-06, 09:40 PM		One cleric, coming up.

Mickey Nine-fingers Cleric 7/adept 1
Mickey is probably the closest thing to a competent crew member on the Forgotten Freedom . He takes his job as ships surgeon seriously, or at least seriously enough to not be totally hammered all day long. Still "a shot a day keeps the Devourer at bay" is his mantra. More than a few of his potions have a strong hint of whiskey or bourbon in them.
Mickey earned his nickname while trying to perform Eberrons first 2-minute surgery. The fact that he was singing "The foot bone's connected to the leg bone' has never been fully substansiated. The surgery succeded, but the patient could count to eleven on his fingers afterwards.
Mickey's bane is Pholly. Mickey is constantly rushing to the sound of explosions, only to find that while most of the redshirts are beyond use other than undead, Pholly is only missing his eyebrows. Mickey is developing quite a nervous tic about the whole affair, which he is attempting to cure with heroic ammounts of booze.
Mickey truly respects the captain, but only so far as the captain signs the paychecks. As soon as Mickey gets a better offer from someone (yeah...right....) he will be ready to leave.
Mickey takes an interesting love/hate view of Andrea. Often, the survival of a crew member boils down to who gets to them first. Mickey suspects that Captain Jarlot prefers Andrea over him, mainly because undead arent too pickey about paychecks bouncing.
Mickey only fights when absolutely needed, thus when the crew beats the fluff out of Pholly, Mickey is more likely to be giving the crew pointers on the best way to beat, rather than heal the little geek.
Salookanana

01-03-06, 10:44 PM		Since we have new crew...



Devon- So, now I'm a pirate, eh? What shall my first heroic, piraty act be?
Doog- To be a pirate you gotta hit the brothels!
Devon- Wow! I've been a pirate for years and didn't know!
Michael- C'mon bardy. Your Charisma score should get us some discounts.
Devon- Well, I do happen to be dead sexy.
Doog- [whispering] *Ya mean fall guy if we get arrested, right*
Michael- [whispering] *Of course*

The FF has stopped again for various things like food, alcohol, and fresh mea- er crew.
Doog, Michael and Devon go walking, when three changlings of the oldest profession appear.

Changling 1- You boys looking for a good time?
Devon- As much as you are darling.
Changling 2- We do anything!
Doog- I like the sound of that!
Michael- Anything?? Hmmm...


Alright, well first I want you to ******* while you ************** and you :censored: with :censored: ********* . But don't :censored: . Then I wanna :censored: while *********, while these two guys and you other two :censored: :censored: dixie cup. After that I wanna ********** . And you can :censored: like a bullfrog. Then I wantchu ************ :censored: *********** same dixie cup :censored: :censored: :censored:. Then we throw the dixie cup out.
Everone else: :OMG!
Michael- Well, you said ANYTHING.


Later
Medical room- Forgotten Freedom

Mickey- So, blackguard, how did you get all those stab wounds?
Michael- Shut up.
Mickey-... did they put dixey cups in your wounds??
Michael- I knew I should have prepared Cure Wound spells today...
Decree Of Boredom

01-03-06, 11:15 PM		4265. Possesion of any of the following beverages is a keelhauling offense: Aereni Skullwine,
Zilargo Tri-Chambered Alchemical Cocktails,
Zilargo Four-Fold Khyber Shard-Bound Elemental Cocktails of Arcane Supremacy, Bottled Dreams, Dryad's Blood, Goodfellow's Boon, or Slag Gin.

4266. Although we could use some of those Sober Pills...

4267. And I'm liking the sound of Liquid Keelhauling...

4268. Starting from now, Liquid Keelhauling will replace the normal kind.

4269. The Keel was complaining about being used to inflict pain.

4270. Speaking of which, awakening parts of the ship is now a liquid keelhauling offense. (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?p=8151091#post8151091)
LugWrench

01-04-06, 12:26 AM		Hoybee Stonebeard
Male Dwarf Wizard 12
Nobody really knows how Hoybee got to be as powerful as he is. Especially considering that hes acutely nearsighted. Hoybee still has yet to find a way to cure his nearsightedness, thus he walks around squinting, widening his eyes, and generally looks to be in the midst of a rip-roaring facial siezure.
The other problem is Hoybee is only barely literate, meaning that the spells written in his spellbook are little more than squiggly lines. His companions never know if hes memorized Magic missile, Phantasmal killer, or Daze.
Hoybee collects miniature figurines, a hold over from his youthful days. What he has yet to figure out is that over 90% of his collection are actually Figurines of Wondrous Power , with a few Quall's Feather Tokens mixed in for good measure.
Despite being nearly blind as a post, having poor aim, and not knowing what spells he has memorized, Hoybee's unpredictability makes him dangerous in combat. Companions have a tendancy of using him as a walking weapon. More than a few times he has gone stumbling towards enemies, casting random spells in random directions.
Dex

01-04-06, 03:10 AM		4271. No, you may not challenge Michael, Doog and Hoybee to a drinking contest within the same week. We simply don't have that much booze, except on Dol Dornmass.

Can we get an up-to-date list of the FF crew in the following format?

Name:
Race/gender:
Class/Levels:

Eg:
Name: Hoybee Stonebeard
Race/gender: Male Dwarf
Class/Levels: Wiz 12
rampant

01-04-06, 03:14 AM		so basically he's everyone's best friend?
Calibim

01-04-06, 09:27 AM		New assignment,

A cleric for the group.

;-)

or maybe Bullet Tooth Tony is the cleric.

hehehe.


Bolt Tooth Tony: That's "BOLT" Tooth Tony, ya silly sod! I swear, no matter where I go, I'm surrounded by bloody wankers!

Stupid: Did some one say my name?

Bolt Tooth Tony: :doh:
Calibim

01-04-06, 10:45 AM		** When we last left our …..ummm…”heroes?’ *waits for lightning to strike* :gah: … Bolt Tooth Tony and Long Wang Hung were having a conversation in whispering tones when Michael appears, let’s listen in shall we….
__________________________________

Bolt Tooth Tony: ‘ight, guv… do it already! We ain’t got all day!

Long Wang: Hold on, ya snaggle toothed leg breaker, I’m not sure how it’s suppose to work or what it does, so I wanna make sure I do it right and don’t get any backlash…

Michael: Hey, what are you two up to?

Tony and Long Wang in Unision: ….Nothing…. :angel:

Michael: Oooooh-kay, this can not be good….I want in!!!

Long Wang: Fine ok just keep your voice down!

Michael: So, what are we doing?

Tony: Well you know that “Bag of Stuff” Long is always walking around with….well on a whim he decided to grab something out of it to ease the boredom going on round here.

Michael: You call being on this ship “boring” :uh-huh:

Long Wang: It has its good moments. Anyway, as yuck-mouph over here was explaining I reached in the bag and pulled out…this…

Michael: :blink: …what….what is it?

Long Wang: A wand of some type

Michael:…it has an… umm, “interesting” shape

Tony: Yeah, that’s an understatement…

Michael: So what does it do?

Tony: We don’t know yet

Long Wang: As far as I can tell it works on females and it’s inflicts some type of “Buff” and “De-Buff” effect at the same time….ok I think I can get it to work *points wand at Marish who is on the other side of the deck* …BZZZZT!

Marish stiffens, falls down, convulses for a few seconds, twitches for a few seconds then proceeds to curl up into a little cat girl ball and go to sleep all the while purring with a content grin on her face…. :cloud9:

Tony: :mymy:

Long Wang: :mymy:

Michael: :mymy:

All three in unision: SWEET!!!!!

Tony: How many charges does it have!!??

Long Wang: Dude, it a freakin ETERNAL WAND!

Tony: Righteous! RIGHTEOUS!!

Michael: Ohhh yeah, things on this ship just got a lot more intresting…

Michael, Tony, and Long Wang: :plotting:
___________________________________

** Yes indeed, things just did get “more intresting”. Join us next ti…

Michael: Hey!! Where they heck is that voice coming from?!

Long Wang: Over there! There’s some guy floating on the Ethereal plane…GET’EM!!!

** Hey you guys are not supposed to be able to see m…HEY!! LET GO! How did you grab me?? I’m ETHEREAL!! You shouldn’t be able to…GAH! OW!!

Tony: We’ll teach ya to spy on us with you ethereal spying spyiness!! Do your thing Long!

** Hey let go!! ARRGH!! Not the kidney!!! ACK!!!

Long Wang: That’s right fool! You done gone and done it now! Long Wang is gonna take you to the town of PAIN, chump!! Population: You!!!

** URK!!

Long Wang: Right on the corner of “OW!” & “QUIT IT!!”

** HEY!! MY ARM DOESN’T BEND LIKE THA…ACK!!

Long Wang: Just down the road from “NOT THE FACE!! NOT THE FACE!!”

** …mommy..

THUD!!

(Due to the graphic nature…)

WACK!!

(Of this beat down..)

THUD!

(We strongly suggest you do something soothing to remove the images from your memory)

THUMP!!

(Seriously…go play with a puppy or a kitten or something…)

THUMP!!

(…man, that had to hurt…)

CRACKA - SMACK!!

(Ouch…dude, that one ain’t never gonna heal right)
Crystalforged

01-04-06, 05:43 PM		The (mis)adventures of Jonny, Squinty, and Melvin

Jonny the retard Illithed
Jonny wanders into Kelter's expirimental labritory. He wanders past countless, half-finished weapons of mass destructions and other tools of chaos and evil to hang over Kelter who has his head stuck under a large metal cylinder with the words "THIS IS NOT A NEW CLOANING MACHINE". Kelter doen't notice anything unile Jonny starts to absentmindedly drool on Kelter's leg.

Ketler: (Jumbing up and knocking his head on the cylinder) Aaaaurg! WHO'S THERE!

Jonny: (still drooling) JONNY!

Kelter: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! MIND FLAYER!

Kelter dives behind a nearby desk while covering his head. Jonny simply stands still staring at the place where Kelter was sanding.

Kelter: Oh, Its that brain damaged Illithid that Kanatash brough on board. I suppose I really don't have to worry too much about him. Kanatash told me he's to stupid to actually be able to hurt me and besides (pulling out an obscenely large crossbow studded with dozens of large dragonshards) I still have my Illithid-Blaster 2.0 if he gets out of hand. (turning to Jonny) Okay, you can stay in here but just don't touch anything. Most of the stuff in here is fragile and unstable.

Jonny: (now latching his tenticles onto a thin metal tube) GO JONNY GO!

Kelter: NO DON'T TOUCH THAT ITS MY....

A gout of flame shoots out of the tube immolating Jonny's head and setting of a number of explosions from nearby devices.

Kelter: ... experimental flame cannon. (glances at the blast damage and the headless corpse of Jonny) Oh well, I guess that ones ready for the crew then.



Squinty the nearsighted Gauth
Squinty is floating around the deck aimlessly and eventually wanders near the front of the ship.

John: Hello my son you seem lost. How may I help guide you along the road to enlightenment?

Squinty: What! Who said that!

John: I am right before you my son, beneath the air upon which you float.

Squinty: What? Kanatash is that you? You know I can't see without my glasses.

John: No, not maddened one. I am he who was once know as John, the keel of this ship brough to life, but now that I have reached enlightenment and have had the titles of Ghandi and Budda bestowed upon me. I am here so that I may help others to lift up their spirits.

Squinty: Ohhhh, cool. I always wanted to be enlightened and learn the secrets of the universe and stuff.

John: I am glad that you are willing to follow in my teachings. Now please my son let you share in my embrace.

Squinty: (Now floating in front of John) My, what big pointy arms you have enlightened one...

Squinty's implaled corpse falls limp moments later.

John: Ah, :censored:. Not again.



Melvin the Alergic Aboleth
Melvin wanders into the kitchen where Nobaz is simultaneously boiling soup for dinner and cookning down his latest poison for more potency (notably using the same spoon to stir both liquids).

Melvin: (in a nasally voice) What are you making there?

Nobaz: (barely looking up from his work) Aurla soup and Black lotus extract.

Melvin: Aurla soup? What's that?

Nobaz: It's made from the corpses of the Soulknife Aurla corpses we had left over on the ship after that last battle in Xoriat and just a dash of ground pecans.

Melvin: Uh oh. I'm allergic to pecans. They make me develop huge boils which hatch into flesh eating leaches that burrow into my skin.

Nobaz: :blink: Okaaaaaay then, we will also be having fried chicken.

Melvin: Oh, is that to spicy kind? Because the spicy kind gives me rashes that make me ooze purple mucus if anyone touches them and it the mucus melts human flesh.

Nobaz: :uh-huh: Well, why don't you just stick to the wisky then.

Melvin: But alcohol makes me produce twice as much mucus as I normally do and turns the mucus acidic.

Nobaz: (throws up hands) Why are you even here anyways!

Melvin: Oh, I was looking for some water. I need to wash of the mucus on my skin every few hours or it starts to itch pretty bad.

Nobaz: Why don't you use the wash basin in the bathroom then.

Melvin: Oh, thats right. That was what I was using before.

Melvin drags himself out of the kitchen leaving a trail of mucus. Just as he leaves Micheal enters.

Micheal: :evillaugh Hey Nobaz, I've been trying the subtle evil you were talking about. I have some super laxatives I want you to put in tonights soup.

Nobaz: Laxatives? I know you're new to this but that is like aprentice level evil. I really expected more from you...

Micheal: No, no, you see I already enchanted the bathroom. I set an Evard's Black Tentacles spell on the toilet and placed a water summoning trap on the wash basin. They're set to go off when the direrea whracked victems enter the bathroom.

Nobaz: Water summoning trap?

Micheal: It will fill the room with water and summon a water elemental to pummel the victem.

Nobaz: Well that is a fair bit of an improvement. Now we just need to make sure no one sets off the traps before supper and tips everyone off... Oh no...

An nasally screem emminates from the direction of the bathroom.

Micheal: :censored: there goes that plan down the tube.

Nobaz: (shrugs) well we can still put the laxatives in the soup. It should still be fun to watch what the rest of the crew does since now they should now be too scared to use the bathroom.

Micheal: Ooo, you are good at this.



Later
Kanatash floats into the kitchen followed by several freaked out redshirts draging the corpses of a burned and headless illithid, a gauth with dozens of grievious wounds, and a violated and soggy aboleth.

Nobaz: So, how long did they last.

Kanatash: A full two days. It looks like you win the bet.

Nobaz: Have you talked to Andrea yet?

Kanatash: Yeah, she said her ranks of undead were momentarilly full so I should bring the bodies to you.

Nobaz: and the bet?

Kanatash: Ah yes, she has your money but she seemed none to happy about paying up. So do you want the corpses?

Nobaz: Well lets see... (Nobaz pulls out a long metal rod and begins proding the bodies). I'll take them. I've been meaning to try some calamari and Illithid should be close enough and I hear some races consider beholder eyes a delicacy.

Kanatash: and the aboleth.

Nobaz: Well, no one is going to eat that but I would like to try to synthasize some of that mucus into some sort of poison.

Kanatash: Good. If you need any more let me know. Kelter has already taken some samples so he can use the new cloaning machine to make some replacements if you want.

Nobaz: I thought the captain said he couldn't make a new cloaning machine.

Kanatash: Yeah, there's probably some rule against it but so what. Besides we can't afford to keep hiring red shirts at the rate we go through them.

Nobaz: Point taken. you might as well have him make a few copies.
Salookanana

01-04-06, 10:24 PM		:heehee Heheh, good stuff you guys!

And since you asked for levels...

Name: Michael McCellan
Gender/Race: Male Human
Alignment- CE
Class/level: Paladin of Slaughter 3/ Fighter 2/ Cleric 3/ Blackguard 3

Jarlot- Wait, you never said you are a paladin of slaughter.
Michael- Yeah, well, I disagreed with the order. They said I have to disrespect all authority and kill things for the hell of it, and not do anything good ever. I said to hell with them, they can't control me, so I stabbed them and fled.
Lisa- and that is different HOW?!
Michael- Er... uh... I can do good things, if I feel like it.
Lisa- And? Have you ever helped anyone ONCE?
Michael- *thinks for a while* I'll gladly help you out of that armor.


Name: :coolcthul
Race/gener: :coolcthul / :coolcthul
Alignment- :coolcthul
Class/level: :coolcthul ??/ Druid 2
"Can't we all just get along?"
LugWrench

01-04-06, 11:47 PM		Pholly
Male Gnome
Rogue 1/ Artifacer 1/ Redshirt 1
[Captains Note: Currently at half wages until the lab, his quarters, and two privies are replaced. A definite dweeb.]


Devon
Male Human
Fighter 3/ Bard 3
[Captains Note: Dear Thor, its the male version of Marish, only less furry. 10gp says we kill him before any badguys do.]


Mickey Nine-fingers
Male Human
Cleric 7/ Adept1
[Captains Note: I dont know why I trust this guy with sharp instruments. Dont know whats better, his healing skills, or his bartending skills.]


Hoybee Stonebeard
Male Dwarf
Wizard 12
[Captains Note: Must have wandered on board by accident. This guy is going to kill us all. And its going to be accidental. Thank Thor Im drunk.]
Vaalingrade Ashland

01-05-06, 01:17 AM		It has taken four days to read the whole thread, but I whole heartedly approve and hope to contribute.
Salookanana

01-05-06, 02:07 AM		4271. I will not forget about telling the idiot crew what they cant do.
4272. I blame the Liquid Keelhauling.
4273. You are not allowed to use a loop hole in Sharn tax laws to make a profit from theater that loses money.
4274. We're pirates! We don't pay taxes!
4275. You can't use the scam 4273 to try to make the worst show ever.
4276. You cannot produce the play "Spring time for King Kaius"
4277. You cannot call him King Elisabeth Kaius.
4278. He is not decended from a long line of Fey Queens.
4279. We are pirates not producers!


Heheh, best Mel Brooks movie ever.
rampant

01-05-06, 04:16 AM		Chalky (momentarily distracted from stalking squishy) - whos mel brooks and can I eat him?
Calibim

01-05-06, 10:51 AM		Pholly

Devon
Male Human
Fighter 3/ Bard 3
[Captains Note: Dear Thor, its the male version of Marish, only less furry. 10gp says we kill him before any badguys do.]



Marish: HEY!!! Not ALL of me is furry!!

Rest of Crew: :mymy:

Marish: :blush: ....what?
LugWrench

01-05-06, 09:08 PM		Devon is on the main deck, trying to get a tan on his pasty skin with a piece of reflective cardboard. He isnt having much luck......(the story of his love life)

Mickey : (walking up on to deck, smiling and huming a tune) There, that solves the whole damn thing. (he tosses several bags over the side, and a few glass beakers)

Devon : Must you stand in my light? I have a date tonight and I need to look my best.

Mickey : Thats right, prettyboy, reach for the impossible. Ive just solved my problems. I replaced all of Phollys Alchemists stuff with plain ol' water. No more explosions!

Devon : Are you sure about that? The little walking end-table is pretty good at blowing things up.

Mickey : Of course Im sure. (tosses his flask overboard)


BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

Mickey goes several shades of pale, takes another flask from a pocket, and guzzles it down. "How? Its WATER for chrissakes!!"

Pholly staggers on deck, smouldering and covered with soot. He looks at Mickey sheepishly. "Umm....little help?"
Salookanana

01-05-06, 09:19 PM		Lisa- I have concerns about our new cleric. He seems to not handle the suicidal one very well.

Jarlot- Are you kidding?! Ever since he started putting up with that stupid gnome, all the healing potions he's made have been spiked with whiskey! I think I might actually raise his pay!

Lisa- So your saying Mickey's decent into alcoholism is a good thing?!

Jarlot- Of course! Where else am I going to get a healing with a kick to it?!
Vaalingrade Ashland

01-05-06, 09:35 PM		4273. You are not allowed to use a loop hole in Sharn tax laws to make a profit from theater that loses money.
4280. nor will we use it the make shows based on children's games.
4281. You can't involve Vol in any event.
4282. Because it's Vol, not Boll.
4283. You can't involve this Boll person either.
4284. Unless is involves liquid keelhauling.
Kinger

01-05-06, 10:39 PM		Stupid the Warforged leapt about the deck, swinging madly a dainty little net made of a pocket hankerchief on the end of a stick. The captain flattened himself against the railing to allow the great construct to rush past, flicking the net about in front of him and cursing.

At the far end of the deck, Doog lounged comfortably in a leather reclining chair, as was his custom when there was work to be done onboard. The tarp that normally covered the chair and protected it from the elements lay in a heap on the deck next to him. The half-orc appeared to be dozing.

Jarlot approached, cautiously, and cleared his throat.

"Sod off," said Doog, clearly just lying with his eyes closed and a blissful look upon his face rather than actually asleep, "With all due respect, sir."

"Yes, uh," began Jarlot, "What is Stupid doing? He's shaking the whole ship with his traipsing about."

"Yee gods, my head!" shrieked the keel, distantly, as Stupid crashed about the prow.

"What, the warforged?" Doog asked pseudo-innocently, eyes still closed and face still blissful. "I believe he's trying to catch the ethereal butterflies that have infested the ship."

"Ah," said Jarlot, not particularly happy he asked. "You wouldn't have had anything to do with that, would you?"

Doog simply smiled widely, his eyes still closed, and said nothing.

"Right, well," continued the captain,"The real reason I came to talk to you is that I need your help."

"Get stuffed."

"Uh, yes, well, we're approaching this small village of Aundair, and a business woman there, an old friend of Marish's, has asked us for help with a powerful but unwanted patron, but hasn't much money to pay us with."

"Tell them to get stuffed too."

"It's a brothel."

"I'm in," said Doog, leaping up and reaching for the tarpaulin protection for his chair. "Let me get my stuff. Oh, I bet Michael will want a piece of this action too."

"Well, quite," said Jarlot. He coughed into his hand, uncomfortable.

"Where is ol' Blacky anyway?" asked Doog, fastening the tarp over his chair, the bright red and crudely painted lettering reading "Doog's chair!" "His ass only!" and "Violators will be Keelhauled!" plainly visible.

"He's, uh, already there," said Jarlot. "He's the reason we're going. Apparently he's been there for four days and has no plans to leave."

"That spawn of Khyber!" cursed Doog, standing up from behind his chair with a shocked look upon his face. "That is despicable!"

"You... think so?" asked the captain, equally shocked.

"That rotten bastard! How dare he do such a thing? It's a disgrace!"

"Is that what you really think, Doog?" asked Jarlot, tentatively. Could it be? Had the vulgar half-orc finally seen the error of his ways and begun to see women as more than a means of sexual gratification? This was too good to be true!

"It damn well is!" said Doog, most chuffed. "He could have at least asked me to come along! Bastard's probably had the whole brothel to himself these past four days! Khyber's Claws, we're wenching buddies! It's what we do!"

The captain sighed. Too good to be true, indeed.
Salookanana

01-06-06, 01:53 AM		Heheheh, good one Kinger.




Ketler- Chalkey, Mel'broks de Cannath is a respected gnomish bard who has chronacaled the lives of numerous heros, such as the famous shifter and human duo Barf and Lonestar, the saga of the young artificer Frankoonstien, and the History of Eberron (part one). No you can't eat him!


And who is the Boll person uwe speak of?

Seriously though he's going to be on g4 this friday to go on trial for crimes against humanity. Er, on Attack of the Show. Same dif.
Decree Of Boredom

01-06-06, 09:28 PM		Hey, I've got a question. Whose piloting this thing? I don't remember any pilots.
Dex

01-06-06, 10:51 PM		One pilot, coming right up.

Slip Nar'Krac Do'Yelden
Female N Dust para-genasai
Sorcerer 5/ Spelljammer Ace 6

Slip has been living in abject fear ever since Jarlot bought her ship and her piloting services. One after another she has watched new crew members become part of the crew, then killed or eaten (or both, and not necessarily in that order). Only the worst of the bunch seem to survive, and only Jarlot, Kanatash, Norbaz and Andrea actually know she's the one flying this thing. However, part of the contract she signed means that she has to defer piloting to Captain Jarlot - He gets them into trouble, she gets them out.

She is terrified of Squidgy the Negoi, who would dearly love to take control of the Helm and return home. Her sorcerous powers have kept her safely hidden from the crew thus far, and they unknowingly owe her a huge debt for keeping his ship in one piece.

She is horrified at the damage this crew has done to the ship she 'liberated' from house Lyrandar, and secretly plans to Disjunction John the Keel - when she can cast it. If she can dump the captain off the ship, even better.
Zaphiel

01-07-06, 01:55 AM		Even though I'm sure somewhere in this thread it's implied Jarlot is a d'Lyrandar (and possibly the pilot), this pilot seems to fit in quite well. Makes you wonder just what would happen to a well-adjusted person that's had to somehow survive on this flying asylum (ie Firefly's Reavers).
Salookanana

01-07-06, 02:26 AM		Michael- Wait, we have a pilot?!

Ketler- You wouldn't know, considering how often we crash. I thought Stupid was at the helm most of the time.

Jarlot- Shut it, gnome. I fly alot, but when I'm buisy pirating, we have a designated driver.

Marish- But i though I "knew" every man on this ship (who isn't an idiot)

Norbaz- Yes, though SHE usually keeps to herself.

Devon- She?! Yes, one more potential notch on the belt.

Ketler- ... your belt has no notches.

*Devon quickly pulls out a dagger and starts attacking his belt.*

Doog- So, is she hot?

Norbaz- Well, she is a sorcerress and-

Michael- that's good enough for me.

Andrea- You dont even know what she looks like, or her species for that matter.

Michael- Sorc's have high Charisma, and therefore are hot. OFF I GO!

Jarlot- He doesn't know where the bridge is, does he?

Lisa- Who are you talking about now?

Andrea- Someone as parinoed about the crew as you.

Lisa- *Ignoring* So who is this person

Katanash- She is the one who has steered our vessel throughout the madness, throughout the ends of the-

Everone else- THE PILOT!!

Lisa- Why havent I met this person?

Jarlot- She's afraid of all us demented psychos or something. She even fears John!

Devon- AAAH! I CUT MYSELF!! Mickey! Andrea! Heal me!!!!

*Meanwhile*


Slip- Soon, this shall be over, and this ship shall return to House Lyrandar. I just must survive the madness that is on this ship.

:coolcthul - Huh? This isn't the bathroom.

Slip- :eek:
Dex

01-07-06, 03:37 AM		4285. I would like to remind the crew that I am the Captain and Pilot, and we are not piloted by some stowaway girl from outer space.
4286. There is no such person as this "Slip", and absolutely no substance to the rumours spreading that she is the one flying this ship.
4287. The fact that we consume enough food to explain an addtional person is beside the point. Doog must be stealing seconds.
4288. And you all saw me flying the ship into Xoriat!
4289. That no-one appeared to be piloting us through the tricky bit on way out is completely irrelevant!
-Jarlot
rampant

01-07-06, 07:14 AM		4290. No, Slip is not batgirl.

4291. Godsdammit, there is no Slip.
(Cold orb smacks captain in face)

4292. That was not the signal to start a snowball... wait where did the snow come from... aww who am I kidding.

4293. Norbaz whenever the troll-gut ropes start growing limbs giant-goulash is on the menu.

4294. Seriously where did they get enough snow for ice forts.

4295. Chalky we've talked about this a million its all on list, so why did you set stupid in arctic cammo. Yes I know it makes him invisible in the snow, but why is that a good thing.
Macrovore

01-07-06, 03:09 PM		the clr should definitely be at least lvl 10. how else would there be crew members witout raise dead?
Kinger

01-07-06, 03:46 PM		Hey all,
I remember coming across references to a "Ninja Girl" in the earlier rule entries (prior to the Ninja Jaela infestations), generally mentioned alongside the "Paladin Chick." Now that we have a paladin, and a very fitting one at that, we needs us a ninja girl.

Now, I know there's this odd fad thing travelling around the interweb regarding pirates, ninjas, and their supposed emnity. I say stuff it, I don't subscribe to that, if we want a ninja on this crew then dammit, we're having one! :)

PS: This is also an opportunity to fit a gobbo on board too, so I had to take it.


Jingo the Shade
LN Female Goblin Rogue 3 / Monk 4 / Shadowdancer 4

Though not a recent addition to the crew, Jingo is nonetheless unknown to many. This is partly because she would rather not associate with most of the crew on a social level (brutes that most of them are), and partly because she's just so damn sneaky. She's nearly given the captain a heart attack on six different occasions simply by appearing in front of him when he thought he was alone.

Jingo was originally a member of a small pseudo-monastic sect distantly related to the Mockery that operated out of the Lazaar Principalities. Its members were trained in "infiltration and aquisition" (known by most as "breaking and entering") and employed in secret in much the same manner as agents of House Thuranni.

Actually, this is exactly why Jingo was originally a member of said small pseudo-monastic sect distantly related to the Mockery that operated out of the Lazaar Principalities. When the House of Shadow split and Thuranni moved north to the Principalities, it had the unfortunate side effect of providing more competition than her sect could handle. In the big scheme of things, despite incredible amount of intrigue and deceit in the world, there isn't really a lot of call for infiltration and assassination. As a result, Jingo's sect simply could cope and eventually folded. When an airship happened to be passing by with a chance to escape the Principalities (and Thuranni), she hopped aboard and never looked back.

The captain didn't know she was onboard for more than 3 weeks, and that was only because she introduced herself.

Jingo, as most goblins are, is short and lanky, though she possesses a surprising comeliness and confidence absent in nearly all other gobbos. Her yellow skin is normally hidden almost entirely by a black outfit seemingly composed of shadows-made-cloth. All that is normally visible is a narrow band about her emerald eyes and the tips of her fingers.

As a Shadowdancer, Jingo possesses an undead shadow companion, Figment. Figment is terribly shy, and seen even less often than Jingo, normally lurking out of hiding only at her request. Lisa has attempted to turn Figment on two seperate occasions, and despite being immune to this the shadow still gives the paladin a wide berth.

Jingo has been with the crew a long time now, and has not developed a particularly positive opinion of most of them, seeing them as inept, unobservant, and downright incompetent on occasion. Jingo herself has become rather arrogant, thinking herself far superior to her fellow crewmembers. Enough so, in fact, that she has taken it upon herself to harass crewmen who remain unaware of her existance, just to prove to herself just how superior she is. Ketler, Stupid, V, Marish, Michael, and Doog all have been targeted by the goblin. Often she steals items of personal importance (incriminating blueprints regarding cloning aparati in the case of Ketler, and the Chain of Command in the case of Doog, for example), and uses them in suitably-humiliating-for-the-victim pranks. Other pranks are much simpler, often just graffiti on the walls of the head that may or may not be true ("Michael is watching right now").

Despite her discipline and otherwise lawful nature, Jingo is a kleptomaniac. There isn't a crewman onboard who hasn't had a trinket nicked, but the goblin is usually sure to return the item in a suitably subtle manner (ie: re-hiding it on their person) after realising she stole it. Usually. There are still some items that once belonged to others stashed about the ship in hidden nooks and crannies.

In combat, Jingo prefers only to fight if she hasn't been seen (which is generally the case). Then, a flanking flurry-of-sneak-attacks from her stunning kick and razor-sharp kama are normally enough to eliminate opponents. Failing that, her ability to completely hide in the shadow cast by her opponent (somehow) has saved her neck more than once.
Decree Of Boredom

01-07-06, 09:50 PM		4291. Regardless of the ship's current uncertainty on the issue of this "Slip" girl, there is no such thing as Schroedinger's Airship Pilot.

4292. No, Doog, there is not a dagger in my back because of "quantum." There's a dagger in my back because you threw it at me!

4293. Teaching Doog intelligent-sounding words is now a liquid keelhauling.

4294. Because I really didn't need to hear the term "red giant" from him. Bad mental image.

4295. The same holds true for Stupid.

4296. You know what? Stick to monosyllables.

4297. Err, I mean "No use big words. Use small words so Doog and Stupid no sound like wizards."
Salookanana

01-08-06, 02:33 AM		4298. With anyluck we can get them down to pointing and grunting so we dont have to hear them talk.
4299. Not that they were far from it to begen with.

4300. Slipping Queen Aurala a liquid keelhauling is...

4301. Ah, hell, I wanna see it too.

4302. No, your shadow isn't stalking you Pholly.

4303. And no, I don't know why your alchemy gear is missing.

4304. I guess divine justice.

4305. Lisa, we don't need an excorsism of the ship. It's just your imagination.

4306. And the overpowering evil comeing from everyone else on the ship

4307. Lisa is forbidden from reading 4306 and telling her her of it is punisible by liquid keelhauling.

4308. Just because we have people to cast Knock and Detect Secret Doors, as well as red shirts to activate traps, doesnt mean rogues are useless on the ship.

4309. We still need human/gnomish/shifter/etc. sacrifices daily!

4310. If we find a rod of wonder, if ANY of you touch it, 5 liquid keelhaulings!

4311. We are not a rock band.

4312. Esepecially one called "Dragon Mark o' DETH!!!"

4313. Devon would not be lead vocals, as I hate his sappy singing.

4314. I so would be lead vocals!

4315. And Andrea, Marish, and Lisa would be the barely, if at all, clothed back up dancers!

4316. But no mystery filled adventures where we unmask people in lame masks who pretend to be monsters to drive people away!!

4317. Er... if we did that, that is...

4318. No, there is noone steering the ship while I'm doing this! Especially anyone called Slip!

4319. Er... it's flying on it's own, out of controll.

4320. Who said that on it's own is better then me?!?!
rampant

01-08-06, 08:02 AM		again the whole damned crew

he should really stop asking who



we need a half-elf or something before the affirmative action people do anything stupid
Decree Of Boredom

01-08-06, 09:32 AM		"Lucky" d'Medani
LN Half-Elf Diviner 7/Dragonmarked Heir 3

There's only so many times you can drink acid, be covered in alchemist's fire, or crash into the Byeshk Mountains without getting fed up with it. Eventually, one crew member of the Forgotten Freedom did--and hired a Medani dragonmarked heir to forsee trouble.

However, "Lucky" isn't the best bodyguard. He honestly tried to keep the crew safe for a while, but gradually, he came to realize that it couldn't be done. Not a single crew member--hell, not even the one who had hired him!--could be kept safe without knocking them out and dragging them into a bomb shelter.

"Lucky" departed, and headed to the nearest Medani enclave. He found out he had been excoriated--it seemed someone had chanced across his stash of Drooam skin mags--and had no choice but to return to Captain Jarlot's boat.

Now, "Lucky" serves as the crew's official canary. (This is generally a metaphorical title. However, there are crew members capable of casting baleful polymorph.) Instead of helping the crew, he uses his divinations and dragonmark to save his ass. "Hey, where's Lucky?' has become slang for "Run away!" on board the FF.
Phantomcrossing

01-08-06, 01:07 PM		A possible example of a "where's lucky" moment.

Norbaz: Posting tonight's menu.

Menu reads:

"Xoriat Insanity Pepper Steak"
Jodjod

01-08-06, 01:59 PM		Best. D&D-humour. Thread. Ever.
Crystalforged

01-08-06, 04:56 PM		origionally posted by Macrovore
the clr should definitely be at least lvl 10. how else would there be crew members witout raise dead?
Well, thats what cloaning machines are for. :P

Seriously, how do you think it took Kelter to create cloan insurance after he created the cloaning machine. We're probably on Doog mark VI by this point.
Salookanana

01-08-06, 05:28 PM		And Pholly MCCCXXIV....

And now, some "Where's Lucky" moments.

Jarlot- (Drunk) Let's go visit Jaela. Sho wat about her guards and religion and what not. Let's go fly bai and go an kidnapper and then dump Alchemist's Chill on da Silver Flame!



Katanash- I have opened a rift in the fabric of reality! Soon all the planes shall perish!! Reality will end!!!


Stonebeard- I prepared explosive runes today. Er... i think i did.


Ketler- Behold my latest invention!


Pholly- Look what i took from Kelter's room!


Pholly- I made it this time! Look!
LugWrench

01-08-06, 06:40 PM		Hoybee blunders into the sick bay, Mickey is present, placing potions labeled "Cure Light Stoli", "Cureschlager", and "Jaegermeist-heal" in various cupboards.

Hoybee: Say, doc. Ive got this splitting headache, and was wondering if you have something that would do the truck?

Mickey: Sure, Ive got something, somewhere, Just a second.

Mickey takes a flask from a hip holster, and takes a swig of the contents. He coughs hard several times, then returns the flask to its place. "There, now lets see what I have for you...."

Hoybee: What was that stuff, sonny? Seemed to go down a might hard.

Mickey: Its my medicine, got quite a kick. Its also good for tanning hides and curing fence posts.

Hoybee: But youre never sick.

Mickey: See? It works pretty good. Here, try this stuff, it should clear you right up.

BOOOOMMMMMMM

Mickey: Oh, hells, whats that little retard up to, now?

Devon pokes his head into the sickbay. "Say, doctor. The little gnome fellow is wondering if you can give him a little help. He says hes got a smidge of a headache. Ciao, Im off on a hot date....." Devon leaves.

Mickey scoops up his heavy mace, takes another swig from his flask, and walks to the door. "Thats it, Im going to do some 'old fashioned' medicine on that little jerk."

Jarlot walks in, sees Mickey with his mace in his hand and death in his eyes.
"Whoa, there, hoss. It werent Pholly that blew up the ship. Well, it was, but not the way you think it."

Mickey looks confused. "What do you mean? That little :censored: is always blowing himself up."

Jarlot glances at Hoybee. "It seems that someone cast Flame trap on the privy lid, and, well, Pholly was the next guy to...ummm..... You know"

Hoybee looks thoughtful and a little ashamed. "I was wondering why that Prestidigation spell didnt clear up the smell...."

Jarlot turns back to Mickey. "Hey, since Im here, got any more of that medicine?"

Mickey nods and walks out. "Second desk drawer on the left. Careful, it may have eaten through the flask by now"
Salookanana

01-09-06, 08:19 PM		Andrea walks in.

"Say it was nice of you to take over the job of the healer. Now I can focus on my hoards of the undead."

Mickey stares at her. "Your very :censored: welcome"

Andrea- Those potions you're drinking are stronger then what embalmers use for bodies.

Mickey- It keeps me preserved throughout all this crap on the ship.

Andrea- Well, you're looking worse then my rotted corpse army.

Mickey *drinks* How did you deal with the walking time bomb? You were healer before me and still have most of your sanity.

Andrea- Well, i usually just killed other people to relax, then reanimated their twisted corpses in a shamble of-

Mickey- You know what? Never mind. I'll stick with drinking...

Doog- Yo doc! I need some healing potions!

Mickey- Dammit, get the blackguard to heal you! I know he can!

Doog- Yeah, but I'm not hurt at all and your potions are spiked! Gimme! *Brandishes the Chain o' Command*

Mickey- Fine... *Mickey's own flask is empty* :censored: I need a drink

Hoybee- Ach lad, the way ye drink, ye woould av been a great dwarf.

Mickey- Oh, if it werent for the crew I would never have been inspired. :waits:

Hoybee- Ay'll get ye a potion from yer rack with mah Mage Hand.

Andrea- Wait, your casting a-

*FIREBALL!*

Moral of the story- Uh...

....


...

The FF has no morals!
rampant

01-09-06, 08:34 PM		yes they do

Code of conduct

1. Never miss a chance to make it worse.

2. I'ts never my fault.

3. Redshirts are expensive, so try to get them killed before payday.

4. Stay upwind of the Zombies, unless thats puts you downwind of the privy, smig, or doog.

5. It ain't wrong if you don't get caught, or if the captain gets a cut.
Phantomcrossing

01-09-06, 08:34 PM		Norbaz approaches the doc's room. His right arm is dry and shrivled, because while he was prepping jerky, Pholly's last explosion caused him to slip with his dessicating dagger.

"Wait, your not casting-"
*Fireball*

Norbaz walks away form the Doc's office slowly. Healing can come later.
rampant

01-09-06, 11:00 PM		wow you'd think by now someone would've made a serious attempt to catch these lunatics
Macrovore

01-09-06, 11:30 PM		they tried. and they succeeded. several times. THey were all put in an antimagic cell with adamantine bars. But the DM had (stupidly) waived the magic/psionics transparency rule, and kanatash used his 1min/day of corporeality to fetch the keys and spring them out. All the while, he was saying "stupid humans, always getting caught just before the Final Rending. i can't postpone it forever, you know."
Charles Phipps

01-10-06, 12:18 AM		Jacob Hunter
Chaotically Lawful Neutral
Male Changeling
8th level Bard/5th Level Dark Lantern

He's a Secret Agent....Man.

People occasionally wonder why Captain Jarlot seems intent on recruiting one of every single class in Eberron along with race on his ship but he occasionally has some difficulty. For example, Dooj's pathological hatred of Bards from his time when one scared him as a child. Michael's hatred of bards on principle. Lisa's belief that their....neutrality posed a far more severe threat to the state of redemption onboard this ship than the evil. "Neutrals, you never know where they stand." Plus the fact that Marish fills the Shifter quotient more than bard.

Jarlot solved this little problem and their frequent arrest/public relations problem by seeking Jacob Hunter. Agent Triple 0-Blackslash-Blackslash-Blacklash-Infinity-Pi. Dooj calls him Zero for short.

Jacob Hunter suprisingly was actually once the most competent agent in the Brelish Secret Service. Jacob had the duty of protecting the mentally invalid King from putting on a towel and attempting to fly, rescuing him from kidnapping whenever he walked outside with no guards...or clothes, and keeping him from doing things like testing his belief he was bullet proof (Jacob believes the youngest of Boranal's sons Stewie has the most potential for rulership even if he's chaotically evil at two but he has faith their loyal Shifter Brian will also care for his well being).

That was when Jacob unfortunately had a bad encounter with a spell wand of the Royal Eyes and was unfortunately inflicted with a fairly nasty insanity curse. The service promptly dropped him over the issue of impregnating the female secretaries, claiming a vast conspiracy had taken over the Sarlonans called Q.U.O.R.I., and insisting on pretty much loudly announcing his presence at every spying event by dressing snazzily and saying his real name to whomever inquired.

Using his supernatural ability to pick up the most useful collection of rejects available, Captain Jarlot pretended to be an Admiral in the Brelish secret service "J" and has pretty much been giving the madman 'orders' ever since. "K" supplies him with the tools that are necessary to carry out his mission.

Hunter, Jacob Hunter's usual mission is fairly clear and keeps him quite occupied. It's more or less cover up the party's latest mayhem, rescue them if they need trouble, and at worst recover the bodies for raising or ressurection. He's fantastically good at this and the party's own rather extensive abilities take care of whatever isn't capable of being handled by him.

The glib bard is unusually good at using simple verse to reverse reactions from people, especially female, and some suspect he keeps a ring of charming on him. He's also extremely good at scape goating where he manages to find the latest dastardly plot of the local nasties to direct anger towards. He's so good at it that the party's reputation is often helped when they go and eliminate the threat for the townsfolk after their innocence is proven. Jacob's worried though when they run out of orcs. The worst cases are those he blames on Q.U.O.R.I. and Riedra has suffered some severe public relations setbacks that they have difficulty figuring out since NO ONE sent weird imagery into Jacob's brain.

Jacob's biggest problems are the firm need of Jarlot to reinforce his fantasies about him being in the service of the King still, the fact Jacob has somehow picked up Michael and Dooj's homicidal mania that WHEN *EVER* he enters combat explosions occur and massive numbers of people are mowed down (many suspect Jacob also has cufflinks of defense at the very least to survive all the shots he's taken), and his need to bed everything that moves. Rumors abound even Lisa can't keep her chastity around him.

.....Which would seriously affect the minds of many crew if they discovered the truth about Jarlot's OTHER secret agent.

Emma Hunter

Jacob's insanity also includes disassociative identity disorder with his "sister" in a miniskirt (or catsuit) wearing, photogenic, 60s hair spy with insatiable sexual appetite and many of the same qualities that define her counterpart. Emma's personality is somewhat more realistic and hard headed than Jacobs as she often is known to show up to poke holes in any plan that he came up with. Furthermore, Emma is under the impression that she's actually an agent for Queen Aurala and the Royal Eyes.

....Weirdly, this may be the case as she often simply goes to them for intelligence and gets it.
Salookanana

01-10-06, 04:09 AM		Well, I think those tragic souls who try to bring the Forgotten Freedom to justice should have light shed upon their tales. These pathetic fools shall be shared with you. Its late so whoever feels like it can post the levels of them. So behold these sad wretches (Plus another, who ISN'T a sad wretch)


B'ruk of the Silver Flame
LG Elf

This paladin was tasked with the goal of protecting Jaela from intruders. All was well, until the crew of the FF stumbled in. They snuck/blasted/killed/bribed through just about every defense the poor paladin could think of. Since B'ruk failed so bad, his new job was to aprehend the horrible criminals and bring them to justice. It doesnt help that Jaela somewhat likes the FF's crew (Somewhat...) and that B'ruk's airship is even WORSE then the Freedom. And his crew is terrified due to the fact that the Forgotten Freedom's crew is composed of battle hardened psychos. But B'ruk is fearless, none the less, and is a master swordsman. He also can't handle anything with alcohol in it. The crewmembers he hates the most are Michael, for an incident involving Jaela and a Helm of Opposite Alignment and his overall evilness, V, for EVERYTHING he has ever done, Ketler, for sending weird inventions over, and Jarlot, for being the captain of the madhouse.


Inspector Zan'E'Gta d'Tharashk (Pops for short)
(What in heck would Zennigata be? Lawful Neutral?)

After waves of attacks by the FF, the 5 Nations were inspired to actually work together for the common good. They hired one of the best detecives around to try to track and arrest the Freedom and it's crew. However, the 5 Nations hate eachother with a passion, so funding dried up soon. And the fact that Pops is going after the most dangerous pirate crew around doesnt help. Still, he has persued the FF and tried to arrest Jarlot and crew numerous times. He still persists, despite poison daggers in the back, cursed gifts, bounties on his head, and Alchemist's Fire, all "given" by the FF's crew. And the fact that he has had barly any success in this mission destroyed his reputation.
Despite their best efforts, Pops still is alive and well, and chasing the FF crew.


And the most fearsome foe of the Forgotten Freedom

????
Swashbuckler 8/Duelst 6/ Insult Master 2
Human- Chaotic Good

This strange pirate from a distant land is somewhat enigmatic. He likes grog, fine leather jackets, and holy water as it can harm "Ghosts, zombies, and Infernals at once." Weilding a rapier as sharp as his wit, this blond man with a newly restored beard has buisness with the crew, and he cant wait.

It is suspected the reason this mighty pirate is against the crew is because one particullarly drunken crewman stole a prized artifact one night in Sharn; the Pants of the Adventurer. Though they looked like stylish piratey pants, they had a demiplane of their own, with nigh unlmited holding space for both useful and useless items. The theft of the pants infuriated the Pirate, and he swore revenge.

Among the items found in the pants were numerous Rubber Chickens, all with pullies in the middle, a make shift monkeywrench that is really a monkey, a "Swiss army knife" which is just a very small warforged rogue painted red, treasure maps refering to something called "Big Whoop", and a bottle labled "Anti Ghost Root Beer". Upon sampling of the last item, however, it turned out to lack the essential part of beer, and is kept in the store room somewhere.

This pirate is one of the most cunning foes of the Freedom, able to puzzle his way out of the most imposible situations, and able to swing sword and insult like the best of them.

Rumors circulate that this goes back further and that Jarlot and this Pirate habe a hisory; before the pants incedent, the captain was skywriting above Sharn: How apropriate, you fight like a cow.

Who this is and his true motives are still unknown, but a clue has been found; a t shirt saying "I escaped from Monkey Island and all i got was this lousy shirt."
rampant

01-10-06, 04:13 AM		I know nothing that ends up here should surprise but it does.

Devon - (walks up to Jacob) I would challenge you to a duel of wits, but I have qualms about fighting unarmed opponents, aside from monks.

Jacob - Okay (pushes devon over board into John's hug hungry spikes), "Unfortunately for you I don't".

Wow people almost as pathetic as Pholly amazing.

What would happen if the paly the investigator and the Pirate teamed up?

HHmMM Pholly Bombs?
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-10-06, 02:29 PM		Any body wondering what happend to the old dwarven lady?
she seems to have disappeared recently
rampant

01-11-06, 04:02 AM		she's off knitting a batch of sweaters for all the newbs, and those three nice neighboor kids


4321. I don't care if you already have fur. You will wear the sweaters. Heatstroke or no.

4322. John that nice lady went through alot of trouble to make a sweater that actually fit you. Poor norbaz has been using his as a sweatband. So wear it, I don't care if its fuschia.

well it seems that despite micheal, doog, and smigs' best efforts, the crew is now considered a bunch of lovable lunatics, just not to their faces

4323. Anyone who tries hug a member of the crew gets to clean the privy alone. Bring an axe.
Kinger

01-11-06, 08:48 AM		Aw, c'mon, Smig's loveable in a "isn't-it-cute-he's-infecting-that-well-and-burning-that-barn-down" kinda way.

And Doog's loveable too... He must be, in some way.

Gimme a sec, I'll think of something.
Phantomcrossing

01-11-06, 09:35 AM		Norbaz - Uh, thanks. I'll...listen its just.

Old dwarven lady - Something wrong dearie, I do hope you like the sweater.

Norbaz - ....sigh....thank you its wonderful. *how in Khyber am I supposed to wear this, wait a second. HEADBAND*
rampant

01-11-06, 07:31 PM		4324. Never allow the ship to run out of of these, chickens and and yarn for the nice dwarf lady (especially considering what happened last time), living redshirt decoys *ahem* crew, Booze for everyones' illusions of sanity, chalk seriosly we need something to keep that berserk changeling distracted so he doesn't spend all his time growing natural attacks and hunting the the abberation in charge of the pay roll, and finally if we ever run out of liquid keel haulings the person responsible gets to be pholly's bodygaurd for a week.
Salookanana

01-11-06, 08:50 PM		4324 b. And they get their pay docked every time Pholly dies.
4325. Wearing the sweater is mandatory, even if it doesn't fit and/or your body is not the right type for the sweater.
4326. :coolcthul is wearing his!
4327. Kelter is not allowed to invent anything that has to do with sweaters. Ever.
4328. Do not tell n00bs/Stupid they can fly if they throw themselfs off the ship and miss the ground.
4329. Until BEFORE payday!
4330. Don't tell King Steve of Breland he can do this either. We still have Darklanterns on our tail from the last 4 times...
4331. Don't remind Hunter, Jacob Hunter about that either.
4332. You are forbidden to actually succede in the "Fly by missing" manuver.
dropped objects have a range increment of 50ft. after 250ft its considered an indirect hit.
you have to hit an AC of 5 to hit the ground. it receives the normal -2 per range increment. it also gets a -4 to attacks because its an improvised weapon. the creature gets penalties depending on its maneuvrability:
-2 average, -4 poor, -6 clumsy. if it misses it applies the same miss rules for a thrown weapon.


Jumping presumably gives you clumsy maneuverability (-6). You could jump from a 200 ft. high building or airship (-9). As a human cleric with the luck domain and 10 strength, you have BAB +0 (total -16 against AC 5) and can reroll once per day. This means you cannot hit AC 5 except on a 20. If you roll 20, reroll. If you manage to roll a 20 again (0.25%), die. Otherwise, you have managed to throw yourself at the ground and miss, which means you end up flying.

I found this around the boards and can't seem to find the original creator/discoverer of it...
Charles Phipps

01-12-06, 01:12 AM		4333. Q.U.O.R.I. does not control every single aspect of our lives but the economy and toilet tissue.
4334. The Aurrum doesn't control the rest.
4335. Nor does The Lords of Dust.
4336. The Aurrum is not lead by a man named Blofeld.
4337. The Aurrum's leader does not have a son named Scott.
4338. Nor is he a member of the crew.
4339. No, we cannot get Ian Flemming to write our adventures.
4340. CAUSE HE'S DEAD!
4341. Andrea cannot help with that.
4342. Err....Dooj, Michael, it may not be the best idea to brag about bedding Emma.
4343. Err....of course she's Jacob's sister.
4344. Yeah, that will tweak his nose big time, I'm sure.
4345. It's wrong to defect to Aundair because "On her Majesty's Secret Service" is the title of a film.
4346. King Steve would be mad at you.
4347. King Steve is Boranal's eldest son for your information.
4348. What happened to Boranal? Err...well basically.....*talk talk talk*

:shocked: :uh-huh: :mymy: :gah: :crazy: :OMG!

:doh: :looloo: :blink: :bigeyes:

....and then after he ran naked through the barbed wire past the dwarf, on fire, covered in his own wastes, he sort of jumped into the moat that was sadly filled with oil and we haven't seen him since.

4349. The above reason is why we do not leave Michael in charge of bachelor parties from this point on.
4350. LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KING!
4351. ....yes, it was all an insidious plot by Q.U.O.R.I, I assure you Jacob.
4352. Yes, Michael, I'm SOOOOoooo sure that Stupid handling the guest list was the problem....
4353. YOU were the one who told him to invite everyone.
4354. The Dark Six is a part of Everyone....
4355. As are Rajahs.
4356. Whatever happens....King Steve was like that when we first met him.
4357. Yes, including the slippers made of baby skin.
4358. Just pray to God Steve's daughter Sarah never comes to the throne.
4359. Because she's NOT Crazy or Moronic and we know what will happen then!....
4360. It rhymes with URKkkkkkk'
4361. No Stupid, not LUUUUURK
4362. As a reminder, we do in fact have a policy about medical coverage here that extends to children of crew members....
4362. Which is hereby a demand for Jacob to stop leaving so many behind!
4363. ....I don't care if she was an enemy agent! That's no reason to have sex with her!
4364. ...Admittedly, her being cute is.
4365. It is forbidden to talk about "The Night the Lights went out in Breland."
4366. The Night we hung an innocent man....
4367. who was the King.
4368. The fact he survived is a monumental testament. You think being as fat as he was, his head would have come clean off...
4369. You are forbidden from mentioning what we did to the chickens...
4370.....or why the Beholders were there...
4371. Or what we intended to do with the Crown Jewels....
4372. .....the gemstone and regalia ones too.
4373. Listen, it was a little weird Marish I'll admit what you were doing okay. It kinda creeped me out....
4374. I know you were drunk...
4375. Still weird.
4376. I know the King didn't think so and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KING!
4377. Listen, Wadsworth is still in the chamber room trying to figure out who killed all those people, where, and with what!
4378. I'M NOT SHOUTING!
4379. ALRIGHT I AM! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUT....*candlestick perched above him hits him in the head, knocks him cold*
4380. ...whoever stole all my worldly possessions and left me naked while I was out cold is hereby sentenced for a keeling.
rampant

01-12-06, 03:50 AM		:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

that was messed up, even this crew...

lets if they can top it :D
Alchemistmerlin

01-12-06, 07:45 AM		"So, how hard do you think the ground is below us?" Is not a good way to calm the nerves of the panicked princess on the airship.
Nor is "I'm not entirely sure that I believe all those life saver rings have been reenchanted since the last time we used them"
havershame_swordflinger

01-12-06, 10:16 AM		4383. Artificers are not alowed to drain the XP from the FF for their craft reserv.
4384. They may from anoter airship
4385. So long as they drain it from the life saver rings first.
4386. And then use said craft reserv to fix the damage done to the ship.
4387. It's a bloody mirical that the ship is still together with Pholly blowing :censored: up all the time, Kelter constantly making wepons of mass destruction, and Stupid still trying to catch the planer butterflies.
4388. Anybody caught grinning, smiling, or gigiling for more than 5 seconds gets a liquid keelhauling
4389. :censored: :censored: :censored: Doog, quit tickeling the redshirts.
Salookanana

01-12-06, 08:03 PM		4390. For the BoED, the ED does not stand for THAT!
4391. No matter what Michael says
4392. For the BoVD, the VD does not stand for THAT!
4393. No matter what Marish says
4394. The correct way to ask a bard for Bardic Lore check is to ask them.
4395. Not to do what Michael does and smack them in the head and ask "Thranish bars and pubs for 100, Devon!"
4396. You can try that with Jacob if you really want to risk it.
4397. You cannot sell Stupid. Mainly because only Thrane would let you and we arent to welcomed there...
4398. Or anywhere, for that matter.
4399. Norbaz, do NOT let Smig help you cook.
4400. Stupid cannot cook; have you seen in Bender's cooking in Futurama? It's like that, but with Stat drain...
4401. Andrea, do not talk about what you are going to do with the reanimated corpses of fallen crew until AFTER they are dead
4402. Or out of earshot.
4403. Ketler has been comissioned to paint flames on the side of the ship. They better make it faster, or you get a liquid keelhauling!
4404. John, go back to your keel duties of pain and bloodshead and stop preaching on about enlightenment and whatnot! I'll stick kittens on you!
4405. Er, sorry about that, Lisa and Marish. I was just kidding! I swear!
Charles Phipps

01-12-06, 08:43 PM		4406. Jacob, please stop referring to your +5 crossbow as a "Walther PPK"
4407. No, your archnemesis doesn't have a gold plated one.
4408. Oh sorry, according to Dooj....you offended a pimp with a gold plated one.
4409. It is wrong to try and teach Stupid to act Like Jacob.
4410. Who the HELL ever heard of a Warforged Austin Powers?
4411. No, I don't know why throaty torch singers with orchestra accompaniment play every time Jacob enter a room....
4412. It's good for countersong though.
4413. AND influences reaction.
4414. The Dwarven Lady is restricted from selling those bottles of maple syrup with her likeness....
4415. Because we're running out of the 'special ingrediant' that makes it holy.
4416. Ninja Jaela is catching on and believe me when she does, it won't be pretty.
Phantomcrossing

01-12-06, 10:04 PM		Norbaz - WHAT IN KHYBER!

(on deck)

Doog - Huh?

Lisa (having just pummled Michael with her hammer for some reason) - Was that the ship's cook shouting?

Michael - ouch, yeah, he never really makes alot of noise.

(Norbaz storms on Deck with several pieces of parchment in hand, an unusual fire in his eyes. He is heading straight for the helm)

Norbaz - Captain, I have something important to report.

Captain Jarlot - What is it.

Norbaz - These sheets detail the price and amount of foodstuffs we pick up each time we stop to restock supplies...and *ahem* our alternate sources of food. When you look at this, its not much at first, but overtime its built up. We are going through more food than we have crew members for even if everyone had triple portions every night for the past year. Also according to these sheets, a number of pieces of kitchen equipment and small food items such as spices and preserves have gone missing. At the very least I'd wager that we have at least five unaccounted for stowaways or someone is stealing and hording food.

Captain Jarlot - Well, I think I know how to account for some of it, so its not such a big deal at the moment, but I'll look into it.

Norbaz - Actually captain, it is a big deal. We're two weeks from our next schedualed port and we have a situation.

Captain Jarlot - And what is it.

Norbaz - Well, not to cause alarm (whispering) After the next meal, which will have to be at half portions, we'll be out of food stocks, aside from some very foul smelling soup broth, which I don't think could sustain a beholder, and could make the crew very very sick.

Captain Jarlot - I see.

Norbaz - and there is another related problem captain.

Captain Jarlot - Don't we have enough.

Norbaz - Well, umm... I was gonna give you this presentation of this proposal next week by demonstrating it to you. It would be a new means of crew disciplin that I had hoped you would like, but now it seems this innoportune situation has come about.

Captain Jarlot - What, out with it.

Norbaz - Well, I've been putting trace amounts of a special poison mix into the meals, not enough to affect anyone, but enough to over time to cause a chemical dependency. When its removed from someone's diet for a week they become violently ill. I was going to present this to you as a new system of crew disciplin with a demonstration...but now this happens, and my supply of the poison and its components are among the things missing from my pantry.
rampant

01-13-06, 12:46 AM		4417. Chalky stop hunting ketler, He was ordered to do the painting without you... ohh ****.


Loud ripping noise and screams of agony ensue including most of which go something like this

GET OF O' ME YOU CRAZY SON OF A DOPPLEGANGER AND A WOLVERINE!!
AHHHHH MY SPLEEN!!!!
THE SPINAL CORD DOESN'T GO THERE!!!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY KNEECAPS!?!?
WHY IS NO ONE HELPING ME?!?!
BESIDES THE FACT THAT HE JUST RAN PHOLLY THROUGH WITH WITH A BALLPOINT!!!
Vaalingrade Ashland

01-13-06, 02:54 AM		4418. Do not taunt Chalky.

We need to make a wiki or something for the crew, I can't find the writup for Chalky to save my life.
Charles Phipps

01-13-06, 04:21 AM		4418. Do not taunt Chalky.

We need to make a wiki or something for the crew, I can't find the writup for Chalky to save my life.

I agree, a wiki we do need.

With so many viewings I further think we should be mentioned in a supplement ;-)
Phantomcrossing

01-13-06, 11:56 AM		wow, that would be pretty cool. If we wiki it, we should get someone to draw the characters.
LugWrench

01-13-06, 12:42 PM		A suppliment? "Elminsters Guide to Hopeless Geeks"?


Time for the most evil person the crew has yet hired on....

Tabitha d'Kundarak
Female Dwarf Expert 5/Rogue 2

Tabitha began her sevice with her House immediately after her Lesser Dragonmark manifested. Since then she has shown an amazing talent for bookkeeping and accounting. Yes, shes an accountant, with a minor in Tax Collecting, hence the rogue levels. Tabitha quickly realized that with some 'creative numbers' she could filch enough to live comfortably. However, she eventually grew lax in her vigilance, and was discovered by the higher-ups.
The House came to a decision, that Tabitha would work off her debit by working for people free of charge. With a little consideration, she finally settled on the Forgotten Freedom . Her logic being, that a pirate vessel could easily be filched from, and if anyone caught her, she could just cut them in and buy their silence. So far its working.
Tabitha has also come across a disturbing trend in the crew. Between bailing out crew members for stalking Jaela, and the Herculean ammounts of alcohol purchaced by the crew, these guys are going to have to be pillaging for 20 years after theyre dead, just to break even. When she brought this information to Captain Jarlot, his only response was "Oh well, theres no beer in heaven, so we have to drink it here", and promptly downed a keg.
Cutlass

01-13-06, 02:06 PM		Tabitha has also come across a disturbing trend in the crew. Between bailing out crew members for stalking Jaela, and the Herculean ammounts of alcohol purchaced by the crew, these guys are going to have to be pillaging for 20 years after theyre dead, just to break even.

Ahem. In twenty words or less, why do you think they have a necromancer as a member of the ship's company? :D
urial angel of death

01-13-06, 04:28 PM		4418) no Squishy, Tabitha is not infringing on your territory she is now your assistant
4419)no the mildy addictive poison norbaz put in our food was not nicotine
4420) nor was it chocolate
4421) nor was it caffine
4422) we can not imploy a romanian palidan/fight in a leather skirt wielding a whip to kill King Kaius
4423) no that is not stating that he can't join the crew it is simply that he wouldn't succeed at killing Kaius
Crystalforged

01-13-06, 04:47 PM		At the top of mountain in thrane a swirl of lights suddenly appears out of thin air and an man with long mage's robes and a longer beard steps through.

Elminster: Ah, an entirely new multi-universe. I shall intoduce new gods which will be active in everyday life, bring obscenely powerful magics into the world and train hundreds of mages to use them, and set up inumerable organizations which exist only to prevent anything bad from happening to the world creating a huge "safety net" and turning the world ito a copy of the forgotten realms. Then maybe I should...

The old mage is suddenly cut off as the forgotten freedom, running away from flamekeep after another failed attempt to kidnap Jeala, dips below the clouds and splatters him all over the keel.

John: (in the background) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! !

Jarlot: Did any of you feel a bump just now?

John: Oh my GOD! Get it off me!

Doog: (from his chair) I din't hear nothin.

John: AAHHH! Its still alive!

Jarlot: But I'm sure I felt something.

John: DIE! (followed the sound of something fleshy being repeatedly stabbed by two foot long keel spikes)

Marish: I'm sure you were just imagining it Captain. Why don't you come with me and I'll take your mind off it...

John: My god what have I done. I've killed another innocent traveller on the road to enlignten... AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! It's twitching. (more stabbing noises)

Jarlot: (face lighting up) Ah, I think I'll take you up on that but first... Kanatash, your the psychic around here, do you know what happened?

John: (panting) Does anyone have a hose?

Kanatash: I cannot determine what precisely has occured but I do have the sensation that something incredibly wrong was just prevented.
Crystalforged

01-14-06, 01:09 AM		I've had lots of ideas today...




Jarlot, Doog, and Stupid recieve notes to meet Kelter in his lab and Kanatash and Micheal decied on their own to come along as well.

Jarlot: (closing the door) Ok Kelter what's the big deal that you wanted us to meet in private about?

Kelter: (pulling the cover off of a black and white helm) I simply wished to reveal to you my newest and greatest invention, the Helm of Absolute Opposition.

Doog: Yo geinus you already made one of those. We tried to use it on Jeala remember.

Kelter: That was a Helm of Opposite Alignment, a powerful cursed item of ancient design. This however is both new and even more powerful. This item when donned determines the most defining traits of an individual and then creates a copy of them with the opposite traits.

Doog: Yeah, so.

Kelter: Ah, I see a demonstration is in order. This is exactly why I invited Stupid to this meeting, Come here stupid.

Stupid bounds up to Kelter's side.

Kelter: How would you like to be a lab rat stupid, does that sound good to you? (stupid nods... well stupidly I guess) Good warforged, now put this on (hands stupid the helmet). All right every one, stand back.

Stupid's form begins to bend and shift for several seconds before splitting in two. A new warforged wearing long wizard's robes and carrying a heavy book steps away from stupid moments later.

New Warforged: Greetings, I am Scholar a warforged mage of immense power having mastered the greatest spells known to Khorvair and some lost to mists of time. How may I serve you captain.

Jarlot: Dear sweet Jeala! That's incredible Kelter! (under his breath) I can hardly imagine the posibilites from using this on the crew...

Kanatash: (to self) now if I can only find the most stable, well balance individual in Eberron.;..

Doog: (muttering loudly) So then if I found the ugliest brawd in town...

Micheal: (talking out loud) So you mean if I could find some woman who was all good-goody and wouldn't :censored: me this helm would.... :lightbulb

Micheal grabs the helm from stupid's head and runs out of the room

Kelter: Wait! I haven't finished testing it yet! There might be some side effects from the helm!

Micheal, already out of earshot, runs across the deck to where Lisa is lecturing some redshirts on proper ship board etiquette and plunges the helm onto her head...
Salookanana

01-14-06, 03:04 AM		And then there was a succubus:

Succubus - I'm here to kill things, kill things, and kill things. Death to all!! The mortal relms shall over flow with the blood of mortals! The death that was at Cyre shall spread througout Eberron!

Michael - !!! *whatever dark god I prayed to who listened THANK YOU!* [Abyssal] My name is Michael McCellan, and I'm the blackguard of your dreams, baby.

Lisa (Still in helm)- What the hell is this thing doing here, Michael?!?!

Succubus - Foolish paladin! You blight the land with your holy aura! The order you represent shall be crushed.

Lisa - Prepare to die, creature of chaos!

Fwoosh!

Another succubus appears! This one has the Charisma mods of Lisa. Only negative...

Ugly Succubus - Huh? Wha? *COUGH!* Whats goin on? *HACK!*

Everone in room - :eek:

Ugly Succubus -*To Michael* Hey there hansome. *COUGH! HACK!*

Michael - Well, this is a mixed blessing. To kill Ketler, or thank him?
Cooked_Auto

01-14-06, 05:57 AM		Isn't it about now Micheal should start looking for that eternal wand of... "speciality" that Long Wang found? I think that would come somewhat handy right about now.
rampant

01-14-06, 08:02 AM		whats with all the new dwarf crew? Hoybee and the assistant scribe in less than 2 weeks

did they ram a bank and hire the survivors or something?

hey now...

4424. Someone get that helmet off the paladin.

4425. Kill the demons already Norbaz finally got enough paprika for decent abbysal al a mango.

4426. Ketler, heres your mug go to your corner and no spilling, This has to last a while.

4427. As to the helmet, pholly, here is your new mixing bowl.

4428. Scholar your incharge of stupid from now on, note this means i thrash you whenever chalky uses him as canvas, now for instance.

4429. No more goddam camo on Stupid, where in the FF did you get the impression that invisible stupid is a good idea... ooohhh invisible catapult shot.

4430. Go **** yourself, sideways in a sewage ditch I'M NOT BATMAN.

4431. New hiring policy, to avoid the hiring of pansy crew all further interviews shll be conducted thusly: part one - as normal sort into open game, and acceptable
part two - ram acceptable, hire survivors and have them sort the bodies into zombie and Supplies (food, components, cattapult shot)
part three - you people know what to do with open game
Endless_Helix

01-14-06, 08:59 AM		Well if you need pictures, send me the character summaries and I'll whip something up...

Ajihazi: I've returned!

Marish: You were gone?

Ajihazi: Yes! I believe I've found the hiding place of my ancient enemy.

Marish: Oh boy... this is going to be good...

Ajihazi: The Trouser Titan is hiding-

Marish: In Doog's pants?

Ajihazi: That wasn't what I was going to say, but your theory has some merit.Do you think that he's in league with it?

Marish: Oh, most definately.
Endless_Helix

01-15-06, 03:25 PM		4432: Anyone who lets this list disappear from view in any way, shape, or form, will get so many liquid keel-haulings that it's not funny.

Bump!
:bump:
rampant

01-16-06, 04:56 AM		4433. Correction everyone on the FF gets to put in an idea for a suitable punishment. Then we draw 5 and drop the 2 least horrible.
Dex

01-16-06, 08:19 AM		Okay I've complied a list of all the crew members I could find. Looks like we've got about 39 crew members if you count the Keel.

4434. Lack of rations does not mean we start eating the other crew members we've forgotten about!

Forgotten Freedom Crew List
Don’t Blame Me If It’s Not Right

Name: Michael McCellan
Male Human CE
Paladin of Slaughter 3/ Fighter 2/ Cleric 3/ Blackguard 3

Name: :coolcthul
Race/gender: :coolcthul / :coolcthul
Alignment- :coolcthul
Class/level: :coolcthul??/ Druid 2

Pholly
Male Gnome
Rogue 1/ Artifacer 1/ Redshirt 1
Redshirt

Devon
Male Human Fighter 3/ Bard 3
Git

Mickey Nine-fingers
Male Human Cleric 7/ Adept1
Healer

Hoybee Stonebeard
Male Dwarf Wizard 12
Blind spellslinger

Slip Nar'Krac Do'Yelden
Female N Dust para-genasai
Sorcerer 5/ Spelljammer Ace 6
Pilot

Tabitha d'Kundarak
Female Dwarf Expert 5/Rogue 2
Tax Officer

"Stupid" THX-1138
Male Personality Barbarian 3
Muscle

Squishy
Adut Negoi
Planetwrecked Spelljammer

Kanatash
Nomad 5/Psion Uncarnate 10
Insanse dude

Doog Rogal'ashkazarashka
Male Half-Orc Rogue4/Fighter4
Thug

Ketler ap Cannith
Human Male Artificer 8
Don't ask

Marish the Cat Girl
Female Shifter Expert 3
Don't ask

Long Wang
Human dunno/dunno
dunno

Captain Jarlot the Second
Half Elf Male Chaotic Good Fighter 6/Rogue 1/Aristocrat 1/Holy Liberator 3

Martha Grayholm
Neutral Dwarf Commoner 4
“The old dwarven lady”
Sweater-knitter

Scholar
a warforged mage of immense power

Ajihazi, Kalahstar
Soulknife 4/Fighter 4/2 Dervish
LE (CE, LG, NE, NG)

Bruce Ki
Lawful Good 9th level Monk
Suspected Batman

Tony Quarrel aka Bolt-Tooth Tony;
Human Rouge 2/ Fighter 2

Jam
human illusionist 4

Thrincold Store
CN Drow rogue.

Sien
LN changeling monk 6/warshaper 3

Lisa Hopeforge
LG Paladin of the Silver Flame 9

Smig
NE Razorclaw Shifter Druid 6/Rogue 1

Andrea Glycine
Human Female Cleric 5/Wizard 5 (Necromancer)

Chalky
changeling barbarian4/warshaper3

Kanatash
(Kalashtar Nomad 5/ Psion Uncarnate 10)

Pardan, the Living Disaster
Male Human Wild Mage (3rd. Ed. write-up from the AD&D 2nd ed. Kit, not the {rather lame} PrC)/Barbarian

I'm not putting stats for John the Keel here

Norbaz the Cooky
Rouge 5/ Assassin 1
Half Giant
Lawful Evil

"Lucky" d'Medani
LN Half-Elf Diviner 7/Dragonmarked Heir 3

Jacob Hunter
Chaotically Lawful Neutral
Male Changeling
8th level Bard/5th Level Dark Lantern

Emma Hunter

Jingo the Shade
LN Female Goblin Rogue 3 / Monk 4 / Shadowdancer 4

Jonny the retard Illithed

Squinty the nearsighted Gauth

Melvin the Alergic Aboleth
Crystalforged

01-16-06, 08:44 AM		4435. Yes redshirts are allowed on the crew lists

4436. Even if on a regualar basis we do things to them that I wouldn't wish on a dog I didn't like



By the way I noticed that Kanatash appeared on the crew list twice, I'm sure that was neccessary since he was just to uber to have only one entry. :P
Charles Phipps

01-16-06, 12:36 PM		:-)

Jarlot's alignment has sadly moved to CN at this point.

Good list.

The FF is a big galleon btw so there's plenty of room for more.
Phantomcrossing

01-16-06, 01:12 PM		When dining in the mess hall the following suggestions and guidelines and pieces of information have been carved in a stone tablet nailed to the doors.

1. Leave your weapons outside the mess, a roomy rack has been prepared for such...Michael, please do not take this as a cue to try an balance a weapon upon any female crewmember's chest while they are standing outside the mess, or reach into their blouses or breastplates looking for your sword.

2. Please, no poison in the mess unless it comes through the Kitchen first.

3. Please, do not start a food fight on chili night...a bowl of chili is as effective as two flasks of acid.

4. Thirds is the limit on refills. The portions are pretty big as it is.

5. Grog is the only drink on the menu, everything else is strickly Bring Your Own Drink. Any water, spirits, or potions within reason are acceptable in this vein. Elixers of fire breathing are discouraged.

6. Please don't ask if the Captain is having a different meal than everyone else.

7. Scrolls and wands are considered in the same league as weapons, a cabinet is outside for their storage while dining.

8. Meals can be taken in your quarters on request via the sign up sheet next to the kitchen door.

9. Break a plate, or break a concievable rule above, and you are on bus boy and dish duty for a week.

10. Special menu items can be made available on request, please speak to the cooky.
rampant

01-17-06, 03:06 AM		11. Several crew members are sneaky enough or have sufficiently flexible anatomy to steal plates from under peoples noses, watch your meal.

12. If you don't know whats in the dish, you don't want to.
Thwyvylyn

01-17-06, 03:48 AM		13. You are not to run away screaming like you just saw Khyber himself when the cook says "We're having leftovers".
havershame_swordflinger

01-17-06, 08:52 AM		14. When the menu says "Mystery Meat" not even the cook knows what it is.
Calibim

01-17-06, 11:00 AM		15. The Cooky is no longer allowed to institue "Corn and Mayonnaise" day.. every again... on pain liquid keelhauling followed by a months worth of latrine duty. (Sweet Holy Khyber, Man!!! What WERE you thinking?!?!?)
Missekat

01-17-06, 11:37 AM		Hmm.. that must be an american thing. Corn and mayo? Whats so bad about that?

(I wouldn't know.. never had that stuff)
Cutlass

01-17-06, 11:55 AM		Hmm.. that must be an american thing. Corn and mayo? Whats so bad about that?

(I wouldn't know.. never had that stuff)

:confused:

It's not grits and it's not creamed corn, so I haven't got the faintest idea what he's referring to as far as food goes. Now, if one were to extend the topic to deviant sexual practices ... :embarrass
Calibim

01-17-06, 12:04 PM		Hmm.. that must be an american thing. Corn and mayo? Whats so bad about that?

(I wouldn't know.. never had that stuff)

It's a Invader Zim qoute....

Ask your self this, knowing the inability of the human body to break down plant cell walls effectively, what would happen if you only ate corn and mayo...? :gah:

EDIT: At this point the joke loses it funny factor....if it ever had one to begin with..... :rolleyes:
Missekat

01-17-06, 12:31 PM		:plotting: Since I'm ending up as the involuntary cook in my dorm most of the time, I think I'll try out that little experiment on my fellow student next time I'm forced into the kitchen. :evillaugh That'll teach them.
Phantomcrossing

01-17-06, 12:38 PM		what fury hath hell wrought
Missekat

01-17-06, 12:55 PM		Yeah.. like the old saying goes: Hell hath no fury like a woman forced to cook..

Or somethin'.. :confused:
Calibim

01-17-06, 02:03 PM		:plotting: Since I'm ending up as the involuntary cook in my dorm most of the time, I think I'll try out that little experiment on my fellow student next time I'm forced into the kitchen. :evillaugh That'll teach them.

You
are
EVIL :evillaugh
Del'Haar

01-17-06, 06:02 PM		First things first, He was dragoon, we later decided that he was a Fighter profincant with Polearms and Spears. Anyway the PC previously named snuck up on an emcampment of Badits and such on the out skirts of the Sharn. And he wanted to put his 'Weapon' Down the females throat. The DM Got mad and said that if he were to even atmept it, The 'Weapon' would have been bitten off.
Cutlass

01-17-06, 06:04 PM		I guess that means that Missekat's going to have to change her tag line to:

- I am she who kills with corn and mayonnaise.

:)
LugWrench

01-17-06, 06:35 PM		Actually, Missekat, I belive that serving only corn and mayo is a violation under the Geniva Conventions. And if it isnt, it should be. :P
Charles Phipps

01-17-06, 07:29 PM		I want to thank everyone for participating in this thread by the way. It's been a wonderful romp that has allowed me to get through a lot of stress as I prepare for graduate school and also waiting for my first novels (I'm a writer) to come out. I hope to continue our wonderful little mini community in the forums further on until at least 10,000 points. We really should do a wiki sometime.

To go back to our classic mockery and just plain fun listing bad points than the semi fanfic though....

(alas no character references in these but to Captain and crew)

4435. No, it is wrong to pretend you're the Second Comming of Tira mirron for profit.
4436. It is wrong to do it just for laughs.
4437. Swordfighting is to be conducted in a manner that involves sticking the pointy end in the other guy.
4438. Sword fighting is NOT to be conducted by sticking the pointy end THERE.
4439. It is wrong to give captured enemies a wedgie.
4440. Especially before dumping them off the plank.
4441. We do not gloat over fallen foes.
4442. We gloat over foes ALMOST defeated and allow them thus to have a chance to escape or defeat us...
4443. I don't know why, it's Tradition!
4444. Tira Mirron is not a crew member.
4445. ...and if she was, she certainly would not throw up the horns after winning at dice.
4446. Cause Tira Mirron is not f-ing metal!
4447. Tira Mirron is not my co-pilot.
4448. CAUSE I DRIVE.
4449. It is wrong to to dump the lavatory contents over populated areas.
4450. It is wrong to freeze the lavatory contents with Cone of Colds to make dumping it over populated areas even worse.
4451. It is wrong to build Death Traps.
4452.....without my permission.
4453. When we run low on supplies, it is wrong to invite Bullywugs onboard for French Food.
4454. The same applies to Sahaugin for Fish.
4455. Kuo-Tu is not "Underground Bass" when served.
4456. We are not eating ANY sentient creatures.
4457. Even if we fireballed the attacking humanoids and they smell REALLY good.
4458. Cause we know what happened when we faced those pig orcs.
4459. It is wrong to try the rubber mouse on a string trick with shifters...
4460. Even if they always fall for it.
4461. The King of Breland did not get his position by being the greatest rock'n'roller of all time.
4462. You will not refer to his castle as "Graceland"
4463. It is wrong to throw bricks at the King at state functions.
4464. OR AT ANY TIME.
4465. I don't care if his speech was taking too long!
4466. Thranish Priests are not to be intimidated into healing spells.
4467. ...I don't care if that's the only way we can get healing.
4468. It is wrong to get outrageous amounts of healing from House Jorasclo then kill every one of the people involved to avoid paying for healing costs.
4469. Crew found stealing from one another will be dealt with in a summary fashion.
4470. This does not include the Captain.
4471. The Position of Captain is not elected.
4472. No, Revolt and Exile is not your only option then.
4473. I will not divulge how I became Captain.
4474. But it certainly did not involve "watery tarts throwing a scimitar at me."
4475. The Necromancer is to be refrained from conducting nightmarish experiments into the realm of transformation....
4476. Cause the Vorpal Bunny is an animal that NEVER should have existed.
4477. A proper response to people we've just robbed is not to point at them then Nelson laugh "Ha Ha"
4478. It's just tacky.
4479. Our demands to the Four Nation's heads will only involve world domination if they won't pay up....
4480. Because it's better to be rich than in charge.
4481. Our plan for world domination/cash will however not involve detonating an Apocalypse Stone in the Center of the Planet and destroying all life...
4482. Cause we live here moron.
4483. ...Remember when we just were pirates?
4484. Now what are we? According to our wanted posters we're guilty of Assault with a Deadly Chicken/Weapon/Spell/Golem/Undead Flumph, Perjury, Fraud, Extortion, Treason, Sedition, Fraternizing with a female of the Royal Family, Conducting onself in a Lewd Manner in a Public/Holy/Government/Private/Astral residence, Supporting marriage between species, Murder in the fourth/third/second/first/and half degree, Grand theft, Petty Theft, Counterfeiting Gold/Savings Bonds/Bank Notes/Pokemon Cards, Illegal use of magic for crimminal activity, Impersonation of a deity, Deicide (We can never go back to Dragonlance's Krynn for what really happened to Paladine), Contributing to the deliquincy of a Pontiff, Driving without a Guild Permit, Piracy, Genocide of the entire Flumph race (you always wondered what happened to them didn't you?), destruction of a dimension (the plane of mirrors lasted only one adventure sadly), narcotic trafficing of catnip to shifters, attempting to introduce online prestige classes to the setting, breaking the laws of physics in the fourth dimensional degree, hersey, blasphemy, impersonation of a government official/clerical official/dragonmarked house member/noble, Illegal Breeding of Tarrasques, Running a brothel without a license, attempting to restart the last war, shooting of surrendering foes (which is their own damn fault), Pimp Slapping a monarch (all of them), and slavery of warforged (it's not our fault they work for oil and bolts)
4485. As totalled, we should be spending 9,000,000 years in prison.
4486. More likely they'll just execute us...
4487. Then raise us from the dead to keep executing us.
4489. We do not resolve contests by paper/rock/scissors
4490. Or drawing the superior Magic: The Gathering card.
4491. It is wrong to urinate on dead foes.
4492. Or living ones.
4493. Or undead ones!
4494. I don't care how bad you had to go!
4495. No, Queen Aurala does not like it back there...
4496. YOU KNOW what I'm talking about.
4497. Don't ask me how I know that.
4498. It was wrong to raise Wash from Firefly as our undead zombie pilot, now apologize to Zoe.
4499. I don't care if he can juggle geese well! He can't stay!
4500. We are not a basketball team.
4501. I don't even know where that last one came from.
4502. We are not our own nation.
4503. Even if we were, Dwarf tossing is not our national pasttime
4504....despite how much we do of it.
4505. It is wrong to exploit the loophole of confessionals to lose all crimminal charges in Thrane....
4506. Especially by kidnapping a priest because it'd take too long in the booth.
4507. We are not a hip hop samurai pirate ship.
4508. I don't even know what that means.
4509. WHICH DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T SAY WE AREN'T.
4510. Shifter males are not allowed to sniff female's private areas.
4511. No, Shifter females do not go 'into heat'
4512. Elves cannot claim "mating fever" that happens every four years for spending all of our cash at a brothel.
4513. Please refrain from ethnic slurs.
4514. Especially if you're a dirty dirty goblin.
4515. Gnomes will not be described as "like Dwarves but they suck."
4516. Bard is not the class for guys who can't get any.
4517. There will be no public comparing of 'stats'
4518. It is illegal to cosplay as Forgotten Realms characters onboard this ship.
4519. It is wrong to write slash fic about fellow crew.
4520. Especially if you post it on the 'Net' maintained by Aundair's wizards.
4521. Villages are not to be referred to as "human dungeons" if we're low on EXP
4522. Aerenal Elves are not to be referred to as 'deadheads'
4523. A sniper is not the correct response to visiting dignitaries.
4524. Doldornmas is the only religious holiday we recognize for taking the day off to kill people for EXP
4525. It is wrong to justify random acts of mayhem as "playing your alignment"
4526. ...especially against fellow crew.
4527. It is wrong to randomly justipose words into sexually provactive ones.
4528. "Therapists", "The Pen is Mightier", you know what we mean.
4529. ....Oh sweet God. You DID NOT...I...clean this up!
4530. How the hell did you ever get bloodstains THERE?
4531. Injecting people with radioactive isotopes kills them, it doesn’t give them super powers.
4532. …So stop testing it on crew!
4533. Kalashatar crew are forbidden from pretending they can read our every thought.
5534. Because if they DID, they'd have gone insane long ago.
5535. You're not fooling anyone by just claiming we think of nothing but sex, drink, and bloodshed....
5536. Even if its true.
Decree Of Boredom

01-17-06, 09:25 PM		5537. After the little "incident" we had over Flamekeep, "dirty bombs" are no longer allowed on board the ship.

5538 (penciled in). Dirty bombs? No one told me 'bout those! Where can I get me hands on some of those babies?

5539. Doog is to be premptively liquidly keelhauled.
Kinger

01-17-06, 10:16 PM		Not to spoil things or anything, but we just jump 1000 rules.
Crystalforged

01-17-06, 10:18 PM		4533. Kalashatar crew are forbidden from pretending they can read our every thought.
5534. Because if they DID, they'd have gone insane long ago.
5535. You're not fooling anyone by just claiming we think of nothing but sex, drink, and bloodshed....
5536. Even if its true.
:thinks:I was thinking...

Kanatash has been reading the crew's thoughts a lot and it seems to have had an effect on him. However since before he met the crew he was so crazy he spent all his time gibbering madly and now he can at least communicate with others now I have to wonder whether contact with the crew's minds has made him halfway sane or has just driven him to level of maddness so extreme that he seem more sane.
Missekat

01-18-06, 02:02 AM		Its pretty normal for this thread to jump a few hundred or a thousand posts sometimes. Happened before.
Charles Phipps

01-18-06, 03:00 AM		Yes, we correct it when we notice it.
rampant

01-18-06, 03:19 AM		actually that theory pretty much explains kanatash
although that still leaves the question of the soulknife with the Kagerou complex

4540. (there we go) Smig is banned from storage areas containing provisions.

4541. Why didn't this rule go up sooner?

4542. There is no slip.
(magic missle to the back of thee head)

4543. Goddamit you two, disaster, hoybee cut it out. Just cause someone cast a spell doesn't mean you get blast everything that moves. Seriously that could have been just about anyone, you both know how many wands go missing on this ship.

4544. Ranks in UMD/UPD while not specifically required, are probably a good idea for this crew.

and a new crew mamber just the guy when one of the specialists gets upitty.

Kithlemin - CN/CE male Half-ithilid/half-human human-paragon3/rog2/chameleon5/Ithilid-savant5

"Kithle" was a strange lad growing up always mimincking people. Got him in trouble when he annoyed a particularly nasty cultist whoin response offered him to the ithillids. When the transformation began kithle mimicked the tthoughts of the tadpole so well it got confused and stopped halfway. As the minds merged the urge to mimic was twisted into something strange. And thus the path of the Ithilid-savant was opened.

The current kithle is a wildly aggressive seeker of new powers. He joined the crew of the FF to escape a rampaging mob (whether they were after him or the ship no ones really sure). He favors ambush tactics combined with sneak attack and a copied barbarian rage. His tentacles and hands quickly hold his victim fast. After the brain is consumed the corpse is stripped of anything that even resembles value.

In other words he is a greedy, self serving, trouble-making, bastard. He likes creeping people out with his tentacles and beakish mouth. Mentaly manipulating people into saying something stupid. Levitating at akward moments and stealing unique abilities via the nice cranial skylights he provides.

4545. Ok people this is Kithle if any one stops pulling their wieght He will eat your brains, assuming you have any, (glares at V, Stupid and donovan) and take your job.

Kithle - do i get their pay?
Jarlot - no
Kithle - part of it?
jarlot - no
Kithle - screw this then you don't pay me enough to eat that, do i look like a fear factor contestant? where's the beer and wenches?
Jarlot - Not another one.
LugWrench

01-18-06, 03:27 AM		4546. FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP SCREWING WITH THE NUMBERS!!
4547. And nobody is Batman! Let it die, already!!
4548. All crew are forbidden from trying to recreate the Mark of Death.
4549. I dont care how much Vol is paying you to do it.
4550. The next person to spike my breakfast cerial with Maanvaki Grog gets tossed overboard.
rampant

01-18-06, 04:05 AM		4551. That wasn't an invitation to spike it with liquid keel haul either.

4552. Or the Zilargo tempest.

4553. Paint you spiked my breakfast with paint. Did you think I wouldn't notice? Well fine not on the first few bites, but thats not the point?

4554. Stop spiking my breakfast.

4555. Don't even think about spiking my other meals.
Pandaplastic

01-18-06, 09:34 AM		This thread is great

4556. Yes dessert is also a meal!
Phantomcrossing

01-18-06, 10:41 AM		Michael: Hey Norbaz, any Champagne in here?

Norbaz: Yeah, but I'm using it.

Michael: Wow, nice spread. Whats that, pheasant, wow, fancy stuff. I thought it was gruel day.

Norbaz: It is gruel day.

Michael: Then whats with the king's feast of a spread here?

Norbaz: Captain's lunch.
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-18-06, 03:30 PM		Sa'vor "two hits" Brokenblade
Half-fiend-Half-Dragon (Deep)/ Valenar elf ( uses Wood Elf statistics)
10th level Warlock, 6th level Fighter

Sa'vor has spent most of his one hundred and fifty year life in Khorvaire. he emegrated to Cyre with his parents at the age of twenty, once there they prepated for the eventual coup. Sa'vor's mother a deep dragon named Azgath was appointed as the gardian of the Rajah Naz'roth for her crimes in creating a half-breed child, Sa'vor was also forced to gaurd this Being as punishment for his existence. for about sixty years they gaurded the Rajah, all the while Sa'vor became stronger and stronger, drawing on the Natural background of fiendish magic in the area.

Azgath was slain by adventuerers that year, thease adventurers after pillaging the dragons horde, stripping the corpse of all valuable materials and anything of use, left Sa'vor to die. This is where Naz'roth made his move, he offered Sa'vor the power to seek revenge and immortality if he would be Naz'roth's vessel. Sa'vor exepted, Naz'roth granted Sa'vor power and strength beyond his normal limits and Sa'vor offered Naz'roth the chance of freedom to pillage and destroy again.

Sa'vor kept his movements secret covering up all traces of his random destruction and murder as he tracked down his mothers killers, eventualy Sa'vor was sucked into the last war; in which he fought for Cyre. Sa'vor rained destruction on the battle fields in pure pyromanic glee, as the last war neared an end even his and Naz'roths power did not seem to be enough to turn the tide of war. eventualy the mourning struck and Sa'vor lay criticaly wounded, he lay for days on the old battle fields never dying despite his wounds. the bordom and lonyness took its toll and drove Sa'vor ( and Naz'roth) insane, then one year after the war had ended a Healer was travelling the waste lands. he came across Sa'vor and patched him up, Sa'vors madness seemed to lessen in the days he traveled with the healer. but in fact it was all a clever ruse, the madness had indeed lessend, but it had taken a new form, the strange desire to devour magic and a bizzar kleptomania. this urge took its toll on Sa'vor as he travled with the healer, eventualy once they left the dread grey mists Sa'vor slayed him with his wartime weapons ( a pair of magical Kamas, and a Scythe). for over a year Sa'vor wandered Khorvaire.

eventualy he heard tell of the forgotten freedom and its trail of corpses and crimes, he was intranced by the pure villany of this capatain and his crew. eventualy he caught up with them and joined them, using it as a base of opperations for his crimes.

Sa'vor got the name "Two hits" from the fact that in battle there where generaly only two hits, Sa'vor hitting them and them hitting the floor.
Sa'vor gets on well with most of the crew, though he generaly avoids any Lawful good memebers exept the keel ( whom Naz'roth seems to enjoy argueing with, questioning Jhons supposed " enligtenment). Sa'vor obeys the captain when ever there seems to be a chance for a violent or Pyromanic solution, him and Naz'roth opeinly mock the perfetic Pholly and Devon finding their expliots amusing. Naz'roth "encourages" stupid to break the rules simply to watch him as he's keel hauled. Naz'roth enjoys "spikeing" Phollys attempts at alchemist fire to cause a larger and more devistating explosion. Sa'vor is a generaly Subtle criminal, using disguise and forgery to get him most items, though he has been known to for no apparent reason slaughter all around him in fits of Rage and Bloodshed.

The Main crimes Sa'vor is wanted for are the following:
Arson, Arson, Mass murder, Murder of a Official of State, Theft, Grand Theft, Arson, Impresonating a Clergyman, impersonating a State Official, Stealing the deed to a small Township ( this was promtly smoked by a unsuspecting civillian) and Arson.
his current bounty is: Wanted Dead or alive ( more money if dead) 900,000gp
the title of Earl, a small township and a parden for all crimes that have been currently commited by the Caputuring party.
LugWrench

01-18-06, 04:43 PM		Michael pokes his head into the sick bay, where Mickey is tossing back a few.....curing...potions.

Michael: Hey, doc, got any more of that Maanvaki stuff? Im out of mouthwash.

Mickey: (belching loudly, the alcohol vapors make nearby flames briefly flare up) Yeah, yeah. Take it easy with this stuff. If the captain knew you spiked his Oaty-Os with it, he'll use you for an anchor. (rumages around and produces a glass flask, which he hands to Michael)

Michael: Hey, thanks, doc. Say, where did you get this, any why are you slugging so much of it back?

Mickey: Devon scrounged it for me. Don't ask. And since that knew guy...Savvy, or whatever, showed up, Phollys accidents are getting bigger and bigger. I tell ya, it drives a man to drink. (Mickey downs a flask of Cure Baccardi Wounds in one gulp)

Michael: Hells bells, There aint nothing wrong with a drink from time to time. Sheesh. Now if only I could convince that hot paladin chick.....

Mickey: Right. I think Devon has a better chance with her. Scratch that, she has something resembling morals.

A loud explosion rocks the ship, which immediately lists heavily to starboard. Several flasks of Maanvaki Grog fall to the deck and shatter, and immediately start to eat through the wood with disturbing alacrity.

Michael: Whoa, that sounded pretty *****in. I wonder how long it will take Pholly to grow back his eyebrows this time.
rampant

01-18-06, 09:28 PM		Kithle - That does it for my own safety the redshirt dies Permanently. Here Pholly-pholly-pholly here twerp. I'm not gonna hurt you, you won't feel a thing, except when my tentacles slice open your head.

Lisa - its wrong eat peoples brain.

Kithle - No it isn't, besides its pholly, if he has any i wouldn't eat them.

Lisa - well you still shouldn't murder pholly.

Kithle - this isn't murder, its self-defense.
Salookanana

01-19-06, 02:42 AM		Lisa- Self defense?!

Kithle- Yes, proactive self defense...

Lisa- THAT'S MURDER!

*Enter, Johnny, the retarted Illithed!*

Lisa- Great, the other brain sucker...

Johnny- Johnny B Good!!!

Kithle- Oh, a fellow Illithed! Would you care to join me? I'm going to see if Pholly actually has a brain, with my own tenta-

Lisa- *Paladin glare*

Kithle- Oh... Hey, the shiney armor lady wants a hug!

Johnny- GO JOHNNY GO!!!

*Bear hugs Lisa and Kithle dashes off to off Pholly*


Tabitha- I heard an explotion!

Squishy- File that one in the red cabinet

*Tabitha goes over and opens a large red cabinet labeled- PHOLLY*
Tabitha- How much damage do you think it was.

Squishy- If you hear enough explotions, you can actually tell how much damage he caused, down to the last gp.

Tabitha- ...! How big is this thing?

Squishy- Each drawer has the space of a large bag of holding... we filled up the top 3 so far...


4557. Even if you are a warforged, Iron Man is NOT your theme song!
4558. It belongs to the LoBster
4559. Stop making tatoos of the Dragon Mark of Death! How the heck do you know what it looks like anyway?!
4560. Never speak of what you did with Vol again. This is a liquid keelhauling offense!
4561. You may not call each other "Joker" and "Theif"
4562. Off in the distance, a shifter did NOT growl
4563. Two warforged are NOT approaching
4564. AND THE WIND BEGAN TO HOOOOWWWL!!! *guitar solo*
4565. No, I am not secretly planning on taking a level in Bard, just to rock out! Go away!
4566. Do not ask the LoBster to "Dance like a robot"
4567. You CAN ask him to chew up nails and spit out coins though. He can and will do that one.
4568. Slowly sneaking up a mirror to King Kaius as he is talking is forbidden.
4569. But funny as heck.
4568-b. We may be leniant IF you are an Arcane Trickster and have the Slight of Hand and Ranged Ledgermain to pull it off.
4568-b-b. But don't try slipping liquid keelhauling in my breakfast with that!!
4570. Why is Marish blue?!?!
4571. I am taking that rod of Wonder away NOW!
4572. Those things are Banned now.
4573. Punishment for having a Rod of Wonder is being locked in a room and having Stupid fire the thing off at you til he gets bored
4574. Stop getting Stupid to eat! Last time that happened, we had a nest of rats living in him.
4575. The Thrannish Inquisition IS expected, given how they do it often.
4576. Due to several crew members having very high fortitude saves (Hoybee, Michael, Doog, etc) regular keelhauling may be used when liquid keelhauling is proven ineffective/enjoyed
4577. I have a very rigorous screening processes when hiring new crew.
4578. Mainly if they make Lucky scream in terror, they're in.
4579. At least there's a process!
4580. King Borenal is not a crewmember
4581. Though he IS stupid enough to fit in.
4582. Spiking the captains ANYTHING is forbidden unless I say you can.
4583. Don't bind an air elemental to the toilet to "Freshen up the smell". For one its cruel! Second, I doubt the whole Elemental Plane of Air could help us there. Or the Demi-Plane of Febreeze.
4584. There are no Planeswalkers
4585. Do not call the artificer Urza
4586. Nor the LoBster's domain Phyrexia
4587. This is Eberron, NOT Mirroden! They are very different
4588. Even though they are both alternate worlds from beloved WoTC creations
4589. That offer new magical gear
4590. Artificers...
4591. Artificial life forms, which could have souls...
4592. Creatures that bend the stereotypes created in other series...
4593. It is just a coincidence that they are both a unique spin on a normally sword and sorcerry universe, which introduces cool things like airships and cool artifacts...
4594. And has less in the way of ultra powered characters, as compared to other works in the product line...
4595. See, they are totally different!
rampant

01-19-06, 06:00 AM		4596. We have dragon shards. They have blinkmoths. See different.

Is there a first mate on this flying asylum?
Calibim

01-19-06, 09:58 AM		4597. The next person that teaches one of our captives the term "parlay" is going to have "Evard's Spikey Tentacles of Forced Intrusion" cast on them....kapeesh?!?
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-19-06, 12:54 PM		( all of the crew stand around the notice board reading the latest notice from captain Jarlot, some of the kinder crew members are helping stupid and Dooj read the notice)

Dear crew,

inlight of the recent increase in the damage and frequency of phollys experiments, i shall now be conducting a inquery into the cause, every crew memeber must be Interrogated to find out the perpetrator. these Interrogations are manditory and anyone who does not attend them will be liquid keel hauled and forced to listen to The Keels lectures on eternal enlightenment, yes even the keel must be Interrogated.

Thank you for your co-operation,
Captain Jarlot the Second
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-19-06, 01:33 PM		( Sa'vor lurks in the shadows, currently he's planning somthing big, somthing bigger than anyother crime he's ever done) ( location: Forgotten Freedom)

Sa'vor: ( muttering under his breath)
( Michael walks down the corridor, he spots Sa'vor)

Michael: hey, New guy, what you doin?

( Sa'vor turns and smiles darkly)
Sa'vor: planning a new crime for the crew, lets just say it'll be big enough for the captain to forget about all this interrogation buisness, and it will pay well, very well, more than you'd get for my bounty

Micheal: How well?

Sa'vor: VERY well, the exact figure hasnt been calculated, i havn't any reports from any of my contacts about the size of this Bank or its defences

Micheal: wait.... your planning a simple Bank job?

Sa'vor: yes, exept this is no ordinary Bank, this is biggest house Kundarak bank in the Mror holds.
(In Sa'vors mind, Naz'roth: what the hell are you telling him that for!?
Sa'vor: we need these incompitant fools to take the blame for our actions
Naz'roth: yes, but surely the Paladin will be able to identify the item we want by its enourmous power and i have yet find a way to shield that evil energy signiture, we'd be playing right into the silver flames hands.
Sa'vor: we could always kill her
Naz'roth: not subtle enough, and anyway she'd be raised, no, we need to incapacitate her, perhaps stupid could be of some assistance....)
Micheal: i have the feeling you just had a mental conversation without me

( Naz'roth: wait, how about we make the Paladin fall in love with our Black gaurd friend, then she and he would be busy while we and the rest of this meat shield crew rob the bank!
Sa'vor: seems a bit risky, we could always have her abducted for the whole job...
Naz'roth: no, this way we get on the Black gaurds side, he could be useful in the future)
Sa'vor: my good friend, what would you say if i found a way to make Lisa love you?

Micheal: there seems to be some strings attached here, but what the heck

( Naz'roth: :evillaugh)
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-19-06, 01:59 PM		( the next day, Sa'vor having spent all night brewing a special type of grog)
( location Sa'vor/ Naz'roth's room)
Micheal: is it ready?

Sa'vor: ( smiles removing a flask from the broth) yes, now all you'll need is a sample of Her hair or toe nail clippings, then you place it in the broth, swirl it around a bit and drink it, the effects will last for about a month, it will make you completly irrisistable to her, yes i can make more of this broth if you require it in the future as long as i have the ingredients.

Micheal: Thank god, i thought i'd never find a use for this sample of her hair ( removes a lock of her hair from pocket)

Sa'vor: how did you get that? ( Micheal is about to speak but Sa'vor silences him) you know, i'd rather not know that, the effects are instintanious, enjoy

( Micheal walks out)

Naz'roth: Exelent, stage one of our plan is complete.

Sa'vor: yes, now we must gain the assistance of the Book Keepers assistant Tabitha
( As Tabitha walks down the corridors Sa'vor appears from the shadows before her)
Sa'vor: Hello, miss Tabitha, i was wondering, since im planning a pretty large raid on a pretty famous house of Kundarak bank, what defences would a certain bank have in its vaults and if possilbe could you mark them out on this map ( removes map of the bank in question form pocket)

Tabitha: what would i get from such an arrangement?

Sa'vor: depends, what kind of assistance would you require?

Tabitha: well, i have this old "friend" who's carreer has rocketed since i left House Kundarak, he's been quite a thorn in my side for sometime.

Sa'vor: where would i find this "friend" and i'd require a picture or some other method of identification for this " friend".

( much later, Sa'vor having gained the defences marked out on the map)
Naz'roth: Now, thats stage two in my diabolicaly fiendish plan complete, plus we've gained a few friends, Now we need to move on to the next stage, perperations for our distraction at the Bank

Sa'vor: i think our little friend Pholly could be assistance for the beggining destraction, then we will inlist the help of andrea and maybe smig...
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-19-06, 02:16 PM		( pholly is currently brewing some alchemists fire, this batch seems likely not to explode)
( Sa'vor appears from the shadows, causing Pholly to jump)
Pholly: holy crap, i wish for once you people would stop doing that, Can't you see im trying to work here?

Sa'vor looks down into the Alchemists fire: hmmmm, this will need to be much more explosive for what im planning to use this batch for

Pholly: More explosive?!

Sa'vor: yes, enough to blow apart about the size of a large town, im planning a big bank job in about two weeks, there will obviously be BIG rewards, and also, you'll get to cause a HUGE explosion

Pholly: ( strokeing his chin) well, i've always wanted to blow up part of a city and cause chaos, whats the Catch?

Sa'vor: well.... you'll possilby be caught in the blast unless you can some how run REALLY fast and pass through walls, though from your seemingly invincibility to even the most dangerous blasts i dont think it will damage you too much.

Pholly: well ... i've always wanted to cause a explosion of epic magnatudes.

Sa'vor: Exelent, well now, we best get started, the fermentaion of this particular brew takes about a week, dont worry its not unstable enough to be exploded by even the loudest noise...
( they continue to brew the Alchemists fire for a bout a day before Pholly is left in charge under the watchful eye of a humonculus

( Naz'roth:: You do realise that Twit wont be able to keep that batch intact for even a few hours
Sa'vor: yes, thats why we should prepare a second batch just in case
Naz'roth: now all we need is to prepare the second and third destractions)
Phantomcrossing

01-19-06, 03:23 PM		Norbaz stands in the kitchen rather upset.

Norbaz - Sigh...third chili day in as many weeks that no one had any. Geeze, I even made it spicier. Well, better put it in storage with the other two vats and hope they don't eat through the containers again.
HammerHeart81

01-19-06, 11:05 PM		4598.Performance of "Springtime for Kaius" is strictly forbidden, especialy in New Cyre and Thrane.
rampant

01-20-06, 01:38 AM		Kithle - Sa'vor i found your next distraction

Sa'vor - wait what?

Kithle - Did you think the expanded brain case was purely decorative?

Sa'vor - So you -

Kithle - yes, yes, no, yes, and 3. All you have to do is get ketler to rig up a way to get the chili out of the storage chamber. Apperently 12 alarm de Norbaz is a registered weapon of mass destruction. Oh gods the images. I need to wash my brain, oh by the way you screw me over I eat your brain and get some of your powers. I'd do it any way but I'm hoping to exterminate the redshirt and make sure he can't come back in the confusion.
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-20-06, 12:37 PM		Naz'roth: Well, thanks to Kithle's help we have our distractions, now, we have to convince the captain to take up this job, hopefuly the chance of expanded riches and treasure will convince him to take up the job. but just in case we need a back-up plan

Sa'vor: we could always just kill him if he doesnt accept...

Naz'roth: Don't be a fool Sa'vor, some of the crew members are far too loyal, and anyway, we cant get pay from a dead man; not that he pays us much. we could always give him the plans to that brewery that we where going to raid for booze, that would get us on his good side.

( later in the mess (it was the only one with a big enough table) )
( all crew members are presnt exept from Micheal and lisa, obviously somthings going right then)

Sa'vor: Captain jarlot, i have a properstion for you ( unfolds map) this is the dread Bank in the Mror holds, this bank has the largest vaults on eberron and possibly kyber, oceans of gold and platinum lie within, along with various Pieces of artwork and such, all worth a lot, along with many powerful artifacts that you would proberly be intrested in. any questions before i begin to unfold my plan?

Dooj: ( raising a hand) yeah, i have one, how the hell do you expect us to rob the most inpenitrable bank in the known world, i mean, i may be stupid but im not insanley suicidle, isn't there an army gaurding this thing?
(other crew memebers nod in the background)

Sa'vor: a very good piont, the army won't be present when we rob this bank, since they will be busy dealing with our various distractions, the first of which will be an explosion about the size of a large township, aproximatly here ( points at the rich side of the hold) then, Andrea will unleash a horde of zombies that will cause destruction and mayhem in the slums, then we will unleash Norbaz's chillie within the fortresses of the clan leaders, at this time we will have infiltrated the inside of the fortress, then we will aviod and disable all the traps and drain the vaults of thier gold and items of use to us, anyother questions?

Jarlot: assuming we dont whant all this gold, what will we gain from this ?

Sa'vor: well, i have a plan of a brewery that we could raid, quality stuff...
( some murmers of " hmmm... brewery")
( Sa'vor goes over his extensive plan)
Sa'vor: any questions?

Norbaz: Yeah, what do you have against my chilli?

Sa'vor: its nothing personal, it's just that its melting through the vats thats all

( pholly leaves the room to check on the alchemists fire)

Mickey: well, what will happen to the person who detonates the alchemists fire bomb?

Sa'vor: he dies, thats why pholly has been assigned that job
( a murmer of agreement from the crew with a few cheers here and there)

Stupid: beep
( Sa'vor stares at stupid for a moment before looking around to see anyother hands up)
Marish: and whats my job again?

Sa'vor: well, your job is to seduce the young gaurd at the Vault areas doors, Dooj, i need you as general mucsel, Chalky and smig will hold up the rear, Norbaz you and the captain will be in the centre, other crew members shall place them selves where ever they feel, though i would prefer parden and anyother mage prone to casuing explosions by accident will be our front line, stupid you'll be a human shield for the more important crew members, Kantash you'll probably enjoy being our forth distraction by going the opposite direction to us with Kithle and the other abberitions and raining fire and death on the gaurds to attract thier attention. and this is the last chance for questions.

Jarlot: after wards, how will we flee since we'll be so loaded down with gold?

Sa'vor: ....
( Naz'roth: we did make that second Alchemists fire bomb right?
Sa'vor: yes
Naz'roth: theres our get away distraction, nuke anything that comes our way
Sa'vor: i thought you liked subtlety?
Naz'roth: there are times when an explosion works just as well)
Sa'vor: i made a second bomb, just in case we get followed
( Naz'roth: or that fool Pholly survives the first
Naz'roth: and now our plan is 3/4'rs complete! :evillaugh )
urial angel of death

01-20-06, 04:47 PM		Squishy: I have "obtained" through less than legal means the umberhulks of several other neogi woul they be of any help during the bank job. Also on a completely unrelated note has anyone seen my pet black tentacles?
rampant

01-21-06, 04:29 AM		Kithle - I have an objection, shouldn't we send team patheic in as one of our auxillery distractions while Me and Hoybee rain down fire and death? Frankly I don't wish to associate with them and aside from the floating lenscrafters add they have no ranged capabilities. Plus it would be almost as funny as that time stupid tried to count.
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-21-06, 08:32 AM		S'avor: you have a fair point Kithle, but have you noticed that whatever our friend Hoybee casts tends to be the opposite of what he though he memerised, hes potentialy more dangerous to us than he is to the enemy. Kantash is much more efficent ... even in his insane state, and anyway that retarted illithid and friends have to do somthing useful
( Naz'roth: even if they end up as arrow shields for the more powerful members of the crew
Sa'vor: true enough )
Sa'vor: i think i saw squishy's pet black tenticles below deck hunting for red shirts
( horrible scream from below)
Dooj: i belive that would be them
( more screams)
( whole crew shivers)
Devon: well, i can't be hanging around with you lot all day, i've got a date to go to...
(exits from the mess hall)
Jarlot: this womans proberly held against her will, we should ... rescue her...
(Dooj stands up)
Dooj: yeah, she could be .... hurt
( they both leave)
Micky: well, im going back to my quaters, its about 5pm, Pholly should be exploding by now...
( the ship rocks slightly, a large bang sounds, sounds of splintering wood)
Sa'vor: well, that couldnot have been the Alchemists fire bomb, we'd all be dead if that was so, and i've made sure that idiot cant set it off
( Naz'roth: you mean I made sure that idiot cant set it off... yet)
( Micky staggers out of the room singing in a low voice about pirates)
( lucky stands up and screams)
Norbaz: he's been doing that for about an hour now....

Lucky: Its the thranish inquisition, they have a fleet.... of airships... so much pain and holyness .... ARRRGGGHHHH!
( lucky collapses to the floor, still screaming)
Sa'vor: well thats bad....
( Naz'roth takes command of Sa'vors voice, it becomes deeper and eviler)
Naz'roth: Battle stations you filthy mortals, we're going to let thier blood rain from the sky!!
Marish: why should we listen to you?

Naz'roth: you have a point, who's the next in command after the Captain ?

Norbaz: i belive it would be Dooj, since he uses his chain of command ...

Naz'roth: And after him?

Kantash:its proberly Andrea or Ketler

Naz'roth: okay then, well do either of you people have a plan?

Andrea: no, ketler didn't attend, he's till building the chillie Machine...

Naz'roth: Right, Now are you going to listen to my commands or are we going to have a mothers meeting?

Kithle: i dislike this ... Half-dragon, but he has a point, its best for all our survival , and mine, if we listen to him

Naz'roth: we need to get to battle stations, NOW !
( they all scramble out of the mess hall and take up thier positions)
Calibim

01-21-06, 09:24 AM		...must...

...resist...


...urge...

...to make...


....crew members....


....themed after....


....Venture Brothers.....


.....Especially "The Monarch"


...Or "Dr. Girl Friend"


...."Brock Samson" would be funny though
Phantomcrossing

01-21-06, 12:57 PM		Norbaz decked in full infiltration and stealth gear loads a grappling ballista round into the ballista.

Norbaz: Alright, I' taking this as a warmup to the bank job. Anyone who can sneak is free to join in, I'm gonna board the main ship and take out the admiral. (downs potion of undetectable alignment then fires the grappling bolt, afterwards downs a potion of invisibility and begins to climb the rope)
Crystalforged

01-21-06, 11:41 PM		Kanatash: (floating alongside the invisble Norbaz) I would like to join this little excursion of yours.

Norbaz: Um, why?

Kanatash: Well, considering thanks to my incorperal nature I am completely silent, can fly, and float through walls at will I think I would do well at infiltrating the ship.

Norbaz: Yeah but why do you want to come in the first place?

Kanatash: Well I was hoping the admiral could be taken alive. You see I have been doing some experiments on a number of redshirts along the lines of corrupiting their minds and/or bodies and I would like this admiral as a test subject.

Norbaz: Ok, well why should anyone else care about these experiments of yours?

Kanatash: Fine. Let me appeal to your sense of subtle evil. If we can take the captain alive then you just let my have my "fun" with him. It would take a couple of hours to thouroghly break his mind and turn him to the worship of my deranged master and through them a servent of me. Then we "convienently" allow him to escape, or better yet we ransome him back to his fleet, and then... :devil:

Norbaz: ...then we can just sit back and watch the fun and see what a deranged, servant of the Delkyr does with a Thranish arship armada...

:plotting: You're good at this...
Phantomcrossing

01-21-06, 11:54 PM		Norbaz -heh, a plan is made.
Dex

01-22-06, 02:28 AM		As the Thraanish airfleet closes, the transparent figure of Kanatash can be seen slipping through the flagship's hull, a rope leading into the Captain's quater's window is pulled up quickly and silently, and a flying figure that can only be a goblin ninja lands aboard and starts flipping out and killing everything.

Meanwhile, the Forgotten Freedom begins to pull off some amazing tactical manoeuvres, avoiding Thrannish fire while Stupid, Bolt-tooth Tony and Pardan open fire with bags of rats, crossbow bolts and arcane energy respectively. Jarlot, sitting at the helm (barely touching the ship's wheel as it spins by itself) is drinking a Goodale with a little umbrella in it, shooting at the closest ships with his pistol.

Both Squinty the Near-sighted Gauth and Hoybee are firing eyebeams and spells randomly around, blowing **** up and in general looking like they know what they're doing.

The old dwarven lady is knitting a bolt-proof sweater, and most of the other crew are at the ship's gunwals, waiting to board ships that come close enough and begin *cough* negotiations *cough*.

As the battle rages....
urial angel of death

01-22-06, 08:36 AM		as the FF passes over the Thranish flag ship a large number ofumber hulks, a black tentacles and a neogi screaming a less than intimidating war cry jump aboard the flagship.
Endless_Helix

01-22-06, 09:16 AM		:coolcthul What's going on?

John the Keel: We're in ship to ship combat with the Thranish Armada. I think we're winning on account that the Thranish Armada isn't aware of our attack. I hate to see unenlightened walkers on the path of life trying to slaughter eachother. It makes me feel that perhaps I must go forth an actually convert people to my philosophy.

:coolcthul Uh, Okay, but that doesn't sound very enlightened now.

John: I shall have to ponder this more.

Cap'n Jarlot: JOHN!

John: Yes, Captain?

Jarlot: BIBGY'S CRUSHING TACTICAL NUKE, THRANISH FLAGSHIP, NOW!

John: Righto.

Massive explosion too big for words.

:coolcthul Why? Why were so many lives wasted?
rampant

01-22-06, 09:41 AM		Kithle - because i can only eat so many brains, after that my tolerance for opposition is negiliable. And because i want swag. Mostly its the swag, oh and survival thats important I can't steal new powers if I'm not alive. Don't even think about undead no way, though maybe if a ate a a greenstar adept. Any ways check out this spell i learned from the disaster. *SONIC BOLT*
Phantomcrossing

01-22-06, 12:52 PM		The admirals door bursts open as Norbaz crashes through with the unconscious captain slung over his shoulder, the half giant is decidedly no longer invisible. Kanatash floats out of a nearby wall.

Kanatash - Now, let us make haste back to the forgotten freedon.

Norbaz - I hear that, (sees the ninja killing Thranish soldiers) who's the ninja girl?

Kanatash - No idea. The ropes been cut, you're in trouble.

Norbaz - ****, where's the freedom?

Kanatash - There, and the Keel is glowing.

Norbaz runs to the edge of the tranish flagship.

Norbaz - Yo, ninja girl! Time to book. (tosses her a quall's feather token before taking out another and leaping over the edge, Kanatash effortlessly keeping pace with him) **** **** **** **** ****!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
rampant

01-23-06, 01:51 AM		Kithle - Impressive, where is the keel's brain case ketler?
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-23-06, 02:18 PM		( the forgotten freedom having deafated the Thranish fleet continue on thier journy, the decks themselves run with the blood of acolyts and paladins ( and one or two unlucky redshirts), small fires cover the ship here and there, currently the crew is sorting the bodies out and taking anything of value or worth)

Random redshirt: do you think the captain noticed ?

Dooj: ( checks a dead soldiers watch) Nah, its after four, he's dead drunk by then

Jhon the keel: due to my enlightened nature, i belive that your constant abuse of alchole is a sin, the true path to enlightenment lies through the soul, not through some plant extract

Sa'vor: thats only because Jhon, you cant drink being a keel and also, you have no arms

Jhon: regardless...

Dooj: what have we told you about lecturing us?

Jhon: errr.... it results in keel hauling, which is impossible since im the keel of this ship

Micheal: we need a new method for this keel, perhaps ....

Norbaz: we could always engrave our names in it

Kithle: or feed it your cooking, that'll kill it for sure

( in the background the fires are being dowsed, the ship rocks from a small explosion)
( all the crew count down)
Pholly: ( staggers out of the ships lower levels, his clothes are ablaze but apart from that he's mostly unscratched) err... i seem to exploded the distraction

(the crew draws various implements and proceeds to beat Pholly sensless)
Sa'vor: Jhon, since your a passifist and you have taken human life, does that not make you like us?

Jhon: no....

Sa'vor: ah, so your saying that you are above the sins of mortals?

Jhon: yes, i suppose i am,

Sa'vor: so then your saying that you are in some way better than us bidpeds and so your killing is justified since human life does not really matter?

Jhon: no... thats not what i said

Sa'vor:no, thats exactly what you said

Jhon: i have no time for you being of evil, leave now
( Sa'vor walks of)
Crystalforged

01-23-06, 09:51 PM		(outside Michael’s room. Which has a lot of interesting "noises" coming from it.)

Sa'vor stops outside Michael’s door and stares at it with a malevolent smile as Kanatash suddenly floats though the deck to stand next to him.

Kanatash: Excuse me Sa'vor, I've been meaning to talk to you for a while. You see I'm a bit of a mind control "enthusiast" and I was wondering how you made that love potion you gave to Michael. Don't look surprised, after all Kithle isn't the only one around here who can read minds.

Sa'vor: Well if you must know I didn't actually give Michael any sort of "love potion". What he actually got was an elixir that causes him to experience extremely realistic hallucinations, Lisa isn't even in that room.

Kanatash: Really? So what did you do with the Paladin then?

Sa'vor: Oh, she's safely tucked away in an extradimensional pocket under the effects of temporal stasis.

Kanatash: I see. The one thing I still don't understand is why go to the trouble of placing Michael under this enchantment if you already have Lisa out of the picture?

Sa'vor: Ah, you see that is the best part. I plan to deposit her in Michael’s room about the time when both of the enchantments should wear of simultaneously. This way since everyone thinks they know where she is no will even she was missing, not even Michael.

Kanatash: Brilliant. And knowing Michael’s tendency to brag about his "conquests" he will brag to Lisa about what happened so she will believe that she blacked out from the enchantment and won't wonder what happened to in during the period she was missing. She may never learn about what we are up to in her absence and if she does knowing her she will probably fell so guilty about not even trying to stop us she will not try to punish us. Simply brilliant.

Sa'vor: Tell me something I don't know.
Phantomcrossing

01-24-06, 12:27 AM		A sleeping man in blue, white, and silver garb sits chained to a chair. He is surrounded by hanging pieces of cow, pig, and assorted animals and creatures. He slowly comes to and looks about in a panic, his ears assaulted by the sound of a shout behind him.

Norbaz - nd don't forget the sweater! Oh, hey get Kanatash, tell him our guest is awake!

Thranish Admiral - Wha? Where am I...you, who are you. What's going on?!

Norbaz (stepping beside the man slightly out of view, while placing various meat cutting and cooking equipment onto a tray in sight) - What's going on dear admiral, is your lucky day. Well, actually whether or not its your lucky day depends on you.

Thranish Admiral - Huh, you intend to torture me fiend. I live by the flame and will follow its light, do your worst, you will be struck down.

Norbaz - A brave man in the face of torture.

Thranish Admiral - I can stand the worst you can offer villain. You and your...is that a whisk?

Norbaz - Yeah, I'm not gonna be your torturer today.

Thranish Admiral - Then what's with that stuff?

Norbaz - Well, I've got some cooking to do for the week. Gonna start with making jerky. (jabs a steer carcass with the dessicating dagger and it begins to dry out) See.

Thranish Admiral - Oh... so whose supposed to torture me?

Kanatash sinks into the room from the ceiling.

Kanatash - Ah, thank you Norbaz, I'll take things from here.

Norbaz - Okay, gimme a call when you're done, gotta finish for tonight.
rampant

01-24-06, 12:19 PM		Chalky (gnawing on a paladin) - What the hell is going on whith this ship I haven't eaten this well since the ninja jeala incident.

Kithle - Well the half-dragon and his plotting is getting this ship into some interesting situations. Now that you've eaten you wanna go screw with it?

Chalky - Hold on i wanna get to the organ meat first. Ahhh fresh liver.
Endless_Helix

01-24-06, 03:59 PM		:coolcthul Hey John, you reached enlightenment yet?

John: I don't think so.

:coolcthul Are you sure?

John: Pretty sure.

:coolcthul Oh. Why?

John: Well, I did blast an armada to the far side of Dolurrh... Then I didn't feel sorry about it. Then that half-dragon Sa'Vor got the better of me in a debate and now I'm having unenlightened thoughts about turning the half-dragon into a bloody pulp.

:coolcthul O-Kay...

John: Who does he think he is anyway?

:coolcthul Well... he is going to do something big and life threatening for the crew soon... Wanna be enlightened and screw around with it?

John: Hmmm... First I'll have to rediscover the sound of the universe but that's number two on my list.
Charles Phipps

01-24-06, 07:29 PM		4596. It is wrong to arm the enemy with weapons to better shoot at us.
4597. Especially lightning guns that shoot red energy bolts.
4598. ...Even if we have guns that shoot blue energy bolts.
4599. To be taken more seriously, I've decided to wear a military uniform at all times.
4600. Also, I shall wear a hood over my face with two eyeholes.
4601. To further maximize my terrifying qualities, the first mate will wear a metal mask.
4602. And I shall refer to Andrea, since she is from Karrnath and nobility, as the Baroness.
4603. I reiterate our goals as the Forgotten Freedom are WORLD DOMINATION!
4604. ...if only we could get rid of those pesky Joes.
4605. ...by which I mean the Redcloaks, honest.
4606. KOBBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa aa
4607. I will furthermore now sssslur all my sssssssss to add to my villainy.

Michael: Oh hell, the Captain's gone crazy again.

Dooj: Worse, he seems to have lost himself in his G.I. Joe fantasy again.

Michael: At least it's better than when he was trying to be a Bond villain.

Dooj: I dunno, steel jaws aside, there were alot more pretty girls onboard.

*Captain laughingly fires death laser at Sharn*

*Mushroom cloud emerges from it*

Dooj: Oh hell.

Michael: That's what you get for not paying the ransom.

Dooj: They DID pay the ransom!
Crystalforged

01-24-06, 11:00 PM		Eight hours into Kanatash's "session" with the thranish admiral...

Norbaz: Wow, he's been in there a long time now and it's been a couple of hours since I've hear screeming too.

Doog: Yeah, I'm surprised it took him this long. Did you ever see any of the redshirts he had been experimenting with?

Norbaz: Are you kidding? He came in here and asked if I wanted any of them for dinner but I told him no, even I have standards. I don't know what kinds of damage he did to them mentally but I saw physical mutations that are more than I thing Chalky could stomach.

Doog: Thats saying something.

Norbaz: Yeah, I mean he even ate my 12 alarm de Norbaz Chilli. Right now I'm hoping he finishes soon because I need to get some cooking supplies from in there for supper.

At that moment Kanatash floats through the door looking tired and goes up to Norbaz.

Norbaz: Is it done yet?

Kanatash: I'm afraid not, it appears that religious fanatasisim and heavy corruption make a mind far more difficult to break but I am close. It should only take a few more hours.

Doog: So what exactly have you been doing to him in there anyways?

Kanatash: It would be in everyone's best interest if I did not go into details but suffice to say it involves a scrying pool keyed to Xoriat, Squishy's black tentacles, teletubbies, the song Mmmbop, and jello. (shudders) I had to get out of there for a while, I think that stuff was even begining to get to me...

Suddenly a blood curtling screem emenates from the chamber screeming something along the lines of "Not the lemony freshness! Anything but the lemony freshness!"

Kanatash: (perking up immediatly) Ah, the sweet sounds of cracking mind, I should go. (turning to Norbaz) If there is anything you want from there you had best get it now.

Norbaz: No thanks. I don't think I will be going in that room again, ever.
Missekat

01-25-06, 11:32 AM		wow :eek:

That IS freaky! I think the images you just made pop up in my mind will have to be scrubbed away with steel wool and bleach!

Teletubbies *shudders*
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-25-06, 03:18 PM		Naz'roth: it appears that some of the crew members are atempting to screw with our plans, intresting

Sa'vor: what shall we do?

Naz'roth: nothing, if they do screw up our plans then we'll steal the item ourselves, Kithles mind reading should mean that he knows about me, he wont try anything, he's too smart for that, Kantash wouldnot care about my dark plans, hes too focused on his xoriat madness. that :coolcthul creature is too hippy to hamper our plans too much and Chalkys too feral to screw things up. :evillaugh

Sa'vor: i think Kantash of Kithle's listening in, we should create some kind of psionic feed back
( flash of purple light as a bolt of energy emits from Sa'vors cupped hands, it passes through the door harmlessly, theres a purple flash under the door as the energy bolt finds its target)
Sa'vor: how much damage did that do?

Naz'roth: unconsiousness followed by a horrible blinding headache for the next few days and also a strange aversion to eating brains...

Sa'vor: :evillaugh , what is this item we require anyway?

Naz'roth: never you mind, its very powerful
rampant

01-25-06, 11:11 PM		Kithle - good thing i got kanatash to do the snooping for me, gotta love charm psycho, so thats what they're up to, hmmm, i didn't want to do it but it looks like I have no choice but free the paladin. Chalky get Andrea and Norbaz we will need the captain sober for this charade to work.
Phantomcrossing

01-26-06, 12:54 AM		Norbaz - Alright, this concoct should sober up the captain in under a minute and we can get this discussion rolling, Kilthe. But beforehand I'd like to make one thing clear, regardless of his alterior motive, I think the bank job would be something really good. I mean not only will it line our pockets, but it will severally distabalize house Kundarak, to a point where it could affect the economy of all of Khorvaire.

Kilthe - regardless this other presence within him has me concerned.

Andrea - Likewise. I think its best we quickly give him your, ahem, concoction. Are you quite certain it will work.

Norbaz - Hey, this stuff cleared up my mom after the celebration of our reunion. Believe me, if this stuff can sober up a hill giant berserker, it can sober up the captain. (pinches the captain's nose and pours the concoction down his throat) Any second now - ARGH!

The captain of the forgotten freedom jolts to a state of consciousness and in one fell swoop, thinking himself under attack by the horrible gut wrenching pain coursing through his body, draws his weapon and neatly removes Norbaz's arm at the elbow.


__________
The recipe for Norbaz's wake up juice.

Warning, extremely potent and may cause injury. Use only in event of ridiculous drunkenness.

One ounce of Acid.
Two ounces cooling gel.
One dose of Alchemist Mercy (powder mixed into any water or drink to clear up a hangover)
Powdered Bat Guano (also Fireball spell component)
One raw chicken egg.
1/25 of the yolk of a raw Roc's egg.
Darkwood ashes.
One ounce mango juice
A pinch of black lotus.

Mix vigorously until spoon dissolves.
rampant

01-26-06, 01:23 AM		Kithle - Good thing for you idiots i'm a healer today. Now I assume Andrea has taken care of Micheal and Is returning with Lisa. So now we need to decide what to do about Naz'roth and when. I don't want him to get what he is after, but at the same time i don't want to screw up the bank job. We need to assign someone to follow him in and take care of Naz'roth before he gets his hands on the artifact, but after our modified version of the plan no longer requires his co-operation. Who do we have that could do that without arousing suspicion it has to be one of the more reclusive crewmembers because his plan has all the heavies well away from him. I'm thinking a detachment of the remaining Ninja Jaela armed with exorcism gear and we hide lisa with them until this point because we can't let Sa'vor kow how much we have already interefered. O yes heres your arm back, it'll feel wierd for a bit but you should be fine in a day or two if you work it off. Tell :coolcthul to have John monitor Sa'vor and be ready to lay down the big bang on Sa'vor if this goes to crap like it probably will. I will alert the ninja's. Not a word of this to the bozo brigade, so until further notice Captain your off booze. Norbaz hide the liquor preferably some place he can't physically get to.
LugWrench

01-26-06, 12:47 PM		Devon and Michael are in the ships Lounge/Wet Bar, Michael is busy describing his 'conversion' of Lisa to Devon, who is recording it for his Bardic Lore.

Michael: And when I had her right where I wanted her, I....

Pholly darts into the room, holding a flask of alchemists fire, and grinning from ear to ear.

Michael: Hey, didnt your mom tell you not to run with explosives!

Pholly: I did it! I made Alchemists fire! And it didnt blow up! WOOT!

Devon: Okay, the explosions I could handle, but this is creeping me out.

Michael: I think this is a crime against nature somehow, but Im not sure.

Pholly hoots and hollers and darts out of the room: Im gonna show Mickey. He owes me BIG for this one! Woo-hoo!!

Michael picks up a chair and whips it down the hall after Pholly, knocking him prone. The flask flies up into the air, then lands right in front of Pholly.

BABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Devon: Dude, what did you do that for? The little geek finally figured it out.

Michael: Yeah, but hes also got a reputation to maintain. What kind of friend would I be if I didnt help out?
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-26-06, 01:17 PM		( The bank job has gone down without a hitch, now they all stand within the Vault, before Sa'vor floats a black gauntlet, a redsymbol glows upon its palm and its armoured plates are lined with platinum)

Sa'vor: okay, we'll begin to load all the gold
( the crew stands still )
( Naz'roth Oh crap, they've got ninjas with exocism gear!!!
Sa'vor: that means we're screwed right?
Naz'roth yes, if i was possesing you
Sa'vor: but wont this exosism stuff really really hurt?
Naz'roth yes, and if we're unlucky we'll both wind up in that crystal prison i was trapped in and fuse into one being
Sa'vor: oh :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: !!!!! )
Sa'vor: you guys are going to betray me right?
( the rest of the crew nods)
Sa'vor: damn, i really liked you guys as well, you where evil after my own heart, but i suppose im going to end up being beaten, since that keels proberly got a lock on me with his nuke spell. ah well, looks like its plan B.
( Sa'vor raises his arm and the thundering voice of Naz'roth calls out of his mouth in demonic:
Arise my minions,
Breath the air of Eberron once more,
break your bonds with kyber our master and prison,
bring with you the fires of damnation,
march apon the surface as the raging fires,
arise from your fell graves!
ARISE!)
( the very ground cracks and splinters, from rises Fiends of all types, Undead bolster their ranks thier forms encased in anchient black armour, swords of black flame in thier hands)
Naz'roth : i was hoping to leave you all alive, as my brothers in arms, to rule this plane, but now since your so intent on stopping me i'll have to kill you all !
( Sa'vors form becomes more muscular, his skin turns balck and violet fire emits from his eyes, black scaly wings stretch from his back, his hands become claws, his fangs elongate, his face turns from its once handsome form to feral and bestial, he grows to be almost eight feet tall. Black armour like that of all his deamons with a huge ruby in the center, his draconic nature shows more than ever)
Naz'roth : Behold my true form, Naz'roth of black, naz'roth of all colours, when merged with Sa'vor i have emulated his draconic side, now enhancing it beyond all draconic power, i am one, i am many ! ( many coloured scales now cover his arms)
( the battle now begins, the crew charges forwards recalling the tougher members of the crew to increase their numbers, the captain moves faster than ever seen his blade slaying many a demonic foe, Dooj's club crushes many a skull beneath its might)
( the Ninja's and Sa'vor/ Naz'roth duke it out, blasts of arcane and divne magic cutting down many of the Ninja's before they attack, Naz'roths dual kamas strike against all foes that come near in a wirlwind of destruction)
Dooj: how can we beat that?

Jarlot: hoperfuly we can get to the gauntlet first, that Ninja goblin could come in useful ( hacks down a demon) it feels wierd to be sober though, ( skewers another) like tingling in my viens

Dooj: well, thats the lack of drink talking ( parrys undeads blow)
( small explosion and pholly falls into the vault from the ceiling)
Devon: ( is lying prone in a corner having cut his own finger with his sword) I thought you where dead?

Pholly ( pulls himself to his feet) no, not yet, but i finaly made alchemits fire! again
( the crew and demons stop fighting and back away)
( pholly drops the vial)
Sa'vor: oh :censored:!
( huge explosion knocking every one off thier feet and slaying many demons)
the gauntlet lands in Sa'vors lap
Naz'roth : Finaly!
( puts on the gauntlet)
Naz'roth : ( begins incantation) wait, ( looks at the lable) " made in sarlona" this isnt the realy gauntlet, its a fake! there was no gauntlet here!!
Dooj: wait, did we do that?

Kithle: no, obviously someone has already stole the gauntlet, but who?

Devon: ow, my finger, it bleeds, MEDIC!

Naz'roth : ALL OF THIS WAS FOR NOTHING !!! ALL THAT PLANNING, YEARS AND YEARS OF IT AND THEY MADE A REPLICA OF THE GAUNTLET OF NAZ'ROTH!!!, THOSE SARLONANS WILL PAY DEARLY FOR THIER THEFT, I SHALL GAIN WHAT IS MINE( all the demons and undead remaning vanish in a puff of black smoke)
Sa'vor: captain jarlot, you have been a wothy advesary, as have you all, i look forwards to the next time we meet ( bows and vanishs)

Kantash: do you think he has a chance against the sarlonans?

Jarlot: maybe
****
Crystalforged

01-26-06, 10:38 PM		originally posted by Missekat
wow

That IS freaky! I think the images you just made pop up in my mind will have to be scrubbed away with steel wool and bleach!

Teletubbies *shudders*
Yes, well I have a tendancy to let my mind wander off and it really used to scare me what it came back with. Then one day it just went out and didn't ever come back, not even a note or anything, anyways after that it really stopped bothering me...



Now where was I... Oh yes...

(some time later on the FF...)
An unarmed Thranish airship is pulled up against the FF and a official looking Paladin of the Silver Flame is stand on the FF with a large bag of gold while most of the crew surrounds him with Norbaz holding the Thanish admiral.

Paladin: Fine, we have met your demands you filthy, evil pirates now return our admiral.

Norbaz: (roughly shoving the admiral towards the paladin) Gladly, you uptight, self-righteous prick (ironic salute) been a pleasure doing business with you sir.

The paladin and the admiral board the Thranish airship which casts off and flies into the distance.

Doog: (opening the sack) Sigh, you know it would be a lot easier to get worked up about 10,000 gold if we hadn't just knocked up that bank... Oh, well I'll take what I can get.(picks up the sack and carries it below deck)

Kanatash: (floating up through the deck) Well that went well.

Norbaz: Yeah... But that paladin who picked up the admiral made me think, after all the stuff you did to the admiral won't he make the evil sense on all those paladins wandering around thrane go ping?

Kanatash: Oh most definately, however that isn't a problem since he was setting them off already. After even without all those mistresses and the children that his wife doesn't know about there's the war crimes from the last war, the bribes he used to get his position, and blasphemy against the silver flame and Jaela personally. Oh and the "sleepover" incident with the ten year old boys... (shudder)

Norbaz: Yeah ok, but what about his crew? Even if they knew he was evil already won't they mutiny when he starts doing thing that aren't in the interest of thrane for the Delkyr?

Kanatash: That was a problem but while I was in his mind I did a little tweaking. Giving him the subtle ability to control the minds of the crew so they can't rebel against him.

Norbaz: Well that takes care of that... Ugh... Wait a second...

Kanatash: You have just realized the implications of my ability to give other the power to control the minds of underlings and are considering the posibility that I might give this to the captain who would desperately want it, correct?

Norbaz: Yeah...

Kanatash: You need not fear, I am a disciple of madness remember and this crews rebelliousness and its tendancy towards incredible evil are the reasons that make this place the nextus of insanity I know and love. Giving that ability to Jarlot would destroy exactly what I like about this ship.

Norbaz: Well that's a relief. Anyways I'm glad the ransom went without a hitch, for a while I thought they wouldn't pay up.

Kanatash: Well even if they didn't it was more than worth it. I picked up enough blackmail material rummaging around in the admiral's brain to get the entire crew pradoned for every one of their crimes, including the crimes against humanity, the war crimes, the crimes against decency, and the crimes against reality in under twenty-four hours.

Norbaz: (whistles) Well I think we can get some millage out of that... :plotting:
rampant

01-26-06, 10:48 PM		Kithle - wait a second that dregon (demon/dragon) is going on a bloody rampage through sarlona. Sarlona makes things out of jewels, SWAG HO. What are we waiting for lets go i bet he leaves tons of stuff in his wake load the platinum, jewels and items first then the gold we don't have room for all of it.

The ship lurches out of the ruined bank loaded with enough swag to make micael happy despite the massive beating from lisa, and giving rise to the next character in this comedy of disaster.

???? - Oi my back.

Dooj - Whos there?

???? - Over here in the ring.

dooj - which one of you spell castes is messin with my head I ain't drunk yet.

???? - No its me the elemental, you hang around this ship long enough anything'll hapen.

dooj - when did you start talking

???? - just now you wouldn't belive how much this haul weighs.

Dooj - Do you remember that incednt with the dinosaur herding.

???? - yeah that was fun, nothing beats singing those big lizards across the neck. Not now Slip i'm having a conversation.

Dooj - I'm gonna gut drunk now.

???? - Have fun.

4608. There is no slip I don't care what the elemental says.
4609. Don't pour booze on the ring, the last we need is a drunk elemental.
4610. Dammit what i have told you people about bothering the dinosaurs. I don't care if the elemental enjoys it.
4611. From now on the elemental will warn people before he takes over the ship.
4612. For crying out loud there is no slip even if she is the only one on board who can control the elemental.
(Ice orb to the back of the head)
jarlot - thats COLD, I need a drink.
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-27-06, 02:18 PM		Narrator: after another heroic adventure in saving Eberron and getting loads of swag the crew continues on thier epic journey of destrcution and drinking,

Jarlot: Thats not ALL we do, we have other intrests

Narrator: name one

Jarlot: errrr...... Women!

Narrator: dear lord, Adventurers are always so picky.

***
( sharn, city of towers)
( a hooded figure walks through the croud, his black cloak completly covering his body, he walks up to one of the contacts of the Forgotten freedom, one of V's buddies ( bob), who recently aided thier escape from the Berland agents)

Hooded Figure: ( raises a gauntleted hand and withdraws a ransom poster from his cloak, a hissing voice issues from the hood) Where are theysss?

Bob: i... dont know what your talking about, i havnt seen them, who ever they are

Hooded Figure: ( turns and gestures behind him, six more enter the room) i heard that you wheresssss the lasssst one to ssseee themss, i repeat, where are theysss?

Bob: i dont know nothin' ! ( reaches under the counter for his repeating crossbow)

( a hooded figure in the background draws a Throwing knife and pins Bobs arm to the counter)

Hooded Figure 2#: he knowssss, we should torture himssss

Bob: ( sniviling now) dont, please, i know where they're headed, they're headed to sarlona, following this guy... named Sa'vor, please dont hurt me, please

Hooded Figure 3#: Sssssa'vor? what do you know of him?

Bob: i only met him once, about a month or two back, before the bank job, he was tall, slightly elvish

( the mutter amungst thems selves)

Hooded Figure: thankssss you, ( turns to the others) Clear the sssstreetsss, this fire sssstartss now
( the hooded Figure sets fire to the shop with a small fire ball, then they all leave)
***
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-27-06, 02:36 PM		( a normal day on the forgotten freedom, chalky chases Squishy, Jhon seeks enlightenment, pholly explodes... twice, Micheal gets beaten by lisa and so on and so forth, a normal day)

Dooj: my god, we got so much swag, i could afford my self a slave!

Devon: we could afford multiple slaves!

Micheal: and we still have that brewery map!

Kithle: yes, it all went well, too well ...

Jhon: yes, it does seem like we got off easily

Jarlot: we... HIC... wessshhh did... well ( collapses)

Marish: yeah and we got rid of all those redshirts we didnt need, and that creepy Sa'vor guy, he was always planning or plotting somthing

Kithle: we all are always plotting somthing, exept ,maybe pholly, i think too many of his brain cells have been lost due to concussive blasts from explosions and anyway, i still couldnt find his brains

Jhonny: me like Brains!!!

V: i've just had a letter delivered by pigeon, bobs dead, his shop burned to the ground, just yesterday, from eyewitness accounts, seven cloaked figures left the scene

Kithle: well that could be just about anyone, everyone wheres cloaks nowdays

V: these where black cloaked and hooded, supposedly, twenty peasnts where killed after the fire, blood drained, one of them was found with ... no bones ...

Lisa: VAMPIRES! god i hate those things

Dooj: ( shivers) i hate vampires, it's bad enough meeting King Kiaus the third, but (shivers) imagine meeting and fighting seven of them!

V: Bob knew where we where going, to sarlona, the vampires will obviously follow us there, we shouldn't go

Andrea: vampires are no big, they're jsut like normal undead, they can be rebuked, they just have intelligence thats all.

Jarlot: ( snores)

Stupid: beep, beep, beep

Kithle: well, we shouldn't fight them, theyre brains dont taste good, we should go somewhere else

Dooj: i second that opinion

V: third

Kithle: against?
( two raise thier hands)
Kithle: for?
( everyone exept Jonny and Stupid)
Kithle: undecided?
( no hands)

V: well thats settled
****
Phantomcrossing

01-27-06, 03:07 PM		Norbaz - So if we aren't going to Sarlona, where? If we stick around Khorvaire then they'll know that we're trying to fake them out. Should we hit the Frostfell, Xen'drik, or Argonesse?
rampant

01-27-06, 10:19 PM		Elemental - how about xen'drick do a little giant hunting eh. seriuosly we haven't tormented them enough.
Crystalforged

01-27-06, 10:50 PM		Kanatash: Xen'drik sounds good to me to. I would really prefer not to have to deal with the ****ed off dragons we are sure to encounter in Argonesse and there isn't much to do in Frostfell.
Phantomcrossing

01-28-06, 01:14 AM		4613: Do not attempt to put out the fire elemental for a percieved slight at your heritage.
4614: Insectbane candles are to be used sparingly.
4615: Just because we find an ancient creation forge in a cyclopean ruin doesn't mean we should turn it on.
4616: Ketler... no, just...no.
4617: Don't antagonize the drow, unless you are certain there aren't enough to overpower you.
4618: Even if there aren't enough to overpower you, just don't do it, its just tacky.
4619: When coming up with a fake name for the ship on the spot when we dock in Stormreach, don't just say the "Forgotten Freeman" or the "Forgetful Freedom". Use something that won't just give it away.
rampant

01-28-06, 03:59 AM		elemental - like that time you used freedom forgotten
Endless_Helix

01-28-06, 09:48 AM		John, the Keel: I'm sorry Xen'drik.

4620: Michael, just because the drow dress up in skimpy clothes, it doesn't mean they like you.
4621: Just because said drow dress up in skimpy outfits doesn't mean they'll **** or ***** or **** or ************* you. They aren't all dominatrixes.
4622: Their outfits are not just to placate "geeky drizzt drow-munchkin-lovers"; they're cultural, not risque.
4623: No, you may not enslave the drow to bring them to Breland to work on your plantation. That is just wrong.
4624: The Giant Empire didn't "get nuked by dragons cuz they were bored,"
4625: Do not question the sizing property of the swag we get.
4626: No, you cannot sing the Indiana Jones theme song.
4627: There may or may not be a gigantic ape that these giants worship. We aren't sending Marish over the side of that wall to find out.
4628: Okay, we can send Lisa over. She does tend to get in the way...
4629: Alright, who enlightened the elemental? John...
4630: I am aware that the elemental is a fire elemental, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I now have to talk to the d*mn thing.

Also We have a new Character!

Klaz Dingbo, Dinosaur Hunter (G'day mates!)
Half-Orc Ftr 2/ Brb 3/ Thunder Guide 7

Klaz grew up in the demon wastes, worshiping the Rakshasa. Once he got older, he discovered girls. He began to worship girls, and the Rakshasa were jealous so they exiled him from the realm. He hooked up with this "hot adventruing chick" when he was "about 16" and toured Khorvaire with her group. He managed to make it to the Talenta Plains before he found Dinosaurs.

Now he tries to get exotic dinosaurs to people who want them, but often at a ridiculous price. He would also sell the "wild adventures" in Xen'drik to the Sharn Inquisitive on occaison. Unfourtunatesly for him, his last trip ended in Disaster, a girl who he attempted to hook up with but stole all his swag. She's now his archnemisis. He's noted for his connections to the Drow in Xen'drik, and his current status as a "teen idol" to the kids in stormreach, which is how he got the job on the Forgotten Freedom...
Kinger

01-28-06, 12:54 PM		"Crikey! This week on the Dinosaur Hunta we track down the elusive lesser-spotted clawfoot of Xen'Drik's Ruinous Plains, and study them through my tried and true method of ******* them off and seeing how they react!

Blimey, there's one of the Shiela's now... Steady on, girl, you're awright... Gotcha!

Crikey, this Shiela's really ******! I've got to be careful, she's got enough teeth make me into beetroot, and breath hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!

I just need to get my arm around her ne- AUGH! SHE'S GOT ME! I'M NOT DICTATING ANYMORE! STOP WRITING AND SHOOT HER!"



Sorry.
LugWrench

01-28-06, 02:01 PM		Pholly is working late in his lab. A few flasks are suspended over bunsen burners, and a couple are labeled and stored on a shelf. The labels bear names like "should go boom", "I think it works", and "Got no clue what this will do, but its gonna be impressive." A large 20 gallon jug of liquid, which is frothing so hard its making the jug rattle, is labeled 'Throw REALLY hard'.

Pholly: Okay, vampires. Vampires. They dont like holy water or silver. Hmmm... I think I can mix in some of that with my alchemists stuff. Should react nicely when it hits them. Lemme see what Ive got.....

Pholly reaches in amidst the flasks and removes one from a burner. He tenatively sips. "Hmm... Not bad. I guess theres something to this 'hot drinking chocolate' after all." He returns the flask to the burner, and turns back to his fomulae.

Lisa pokes her head into the lab, looking a bit confused. "Pholly, I thought the captain told you no mixing after 7 pm? What do you think youre doing?"

Pholly: Well, word has it were going to be facing vampire-y things. So I figured a special Holy Silver Alchemists fire would come in handy.

Lisa: Are you sure thats such a good idea. What if it blew up? The holy water content would bless half the crew out of existance, including that creepy, pervy Micha....... Great idea, Pholly. Stay the course!

Lisa leaves, and Pholly returns to his work. He reaches for the chocolate flask, but is so lost in thought, that he grabs the wrong one. He drinks and replaces the flask, then stops. His stomach burbles ominously. Pholly bolts from the lab, hands over his rump. "MICKEY, LITTLE HELP! I DID IT AGAIN!!!"
rampant

01-28-06, 03:14 PM		Kithle (sneaks into lab while pholly is away) - hhhmmm lets see this and this go here and lets mix a little bit of this and so when he adds this and a lets put a barrel of this under the table, and hide on the other end of the ship.
This will get him for sure, he may be blast proof but that wont help against this.
(sneaks out)
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-29-06, 08:15 AM		( somewhere in sarlona) ( the hooded figures stand around a campfire of violet flames, they appear to be talking to a apparition within the flames)

Hooded Figure 1#: We couldn't findsss them dread Missstresss, we seek your forgivenesssss

Apparition: Fools! bunglers ! you call yourselves the greatest warriors of your times! i should have left you in the streets all those years back when the plauge had its hold over you!
Hooded Figure 2#: itssss not ourss fault, theysss must have been warned, theyss must havess more contacts withinsss the city, they have leftsss the continents of sssarlona and Korvaire, we belivessss they have gone to either Frossstfell orsss Xendric, though thiersss a slight chance of them goingssss to Argonesson.

Hooded Figure 3#: theysss would not have goness to Argonesson, they would not risk the threat of the dragonsssss

Apparition: so where would they have gone fools?

Hooded figure 1#: (clicks his mailed fingers) we do not knowsss, but theyss have had an ally in the passsst that issss a friendss of oursss

( the seventh and sixth hooded figures drag in the form of sa'vor, he is in his humaniod form, many cuts and burns mark his body, he hangs limply from thier grip, they drop him before the flames)

Apparition: Sa'vor? so, that is where you hath been sheltering all these years, amungst those perfetic Pirates, a being of such nobility reduced to cowering amungst curs! ( the apparition laughs high and shrill)

Sa'vor: so, its you then is it, and no i have not been hideing there all these years, just recently. what brings you to finding them then?

Hooded figure 5#: you willss adressss her with the title dread mistressss cur! ( kicks sa'vor)

Apparition: you wonder why i seek them? isn't it obvious?

Sa'vor: ( smiles) of course, you seek him, the proficised one
( Naz'roth: be careful, they will kill us if they assume we know too much
Sa'vor: she wont, im too important to kill, she needs me)

Apparition: yes, i seek him, you must know whom he is, you where with that crew for a while, yes?

Sa'vor: Yes, i do ( pushes himself to his feet), but i wont tell you, you have to find him yourself, as per the Prophecy

Hooded figure 7#: ( his voice is slightly echoed rather than hissing) he speaks the truth Dread mistress, the Prophecy states that " she shall findss him, only her alone will find him, and upon finding him the phropecy will begin.."

Apparition: so, you know where they will have gone?

Sa'vor: of course, they will have gone to Xendric, theres more treasure to be found there
( Naz'roth: we should escape and warn them
Sa'vor: yes, we shall, soon as well)
rampant

01-29-06, 09:38 AM		Meanwhile a certain redshirt returns to his lab.

4631. Stop roasting dingbo's arm on the ring. Thats what the kitchen is for.

4632. Chalky thats just mean don't eat in front of the donor.
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-29-06, 01:11 PM		( somewhere in xendric) ( the crew now journey in a forwards direction, hoplessly lost)

Dooj: is it me or are we lost?

Kithle: well done, must of taken you hours to figure that one out, DESPITE the fact that the captian just mentioned it a second ago.

Dooj: oh, i wondered what gave me the idea

Jhonny: we lost?

Andrea: yes jhonny, we lost

Jhonny: that make jhonny sad

Jhon: indeed, we are lost, we've past this mountain twice today

Dooj: how do you know? they all look the same to me

Jhon: they would
( the crew bickers for about half an hour before night falls, then they all go indoors and sleep)
( the bloody body of Sa'vor drops to the deck)
Sa'vor: ow
( Naz'roth: falling from two hundred feet will hurt
Sa'vor: no, really, i had no idea!
Naz'roth: i was only pionting out the floor in your plan, the fact that arrow wounds through your wings will make you fall quite quickly
Sa'vor: you could of helped!
Naz'roth: i was, the only reason that we where flying was because of me
Sa'vor: you have a piont there, now lets find the Captain before the Keel or Paladin or even Kithle finds us)
( sa'vor creeps across the deck, blue blood forming small pools as he walks)
( chalky follows the trail and finds Sa'vor)
Chalky: poor little traitorous half-dragon one, all alone and helpless

Sa'vor: hello chalky, hows things?

Chalky: better, now i've found you, dragon always tasted good

Sa'vor: i can see why, ( raises a hand) now back away before i blow a hole in you

Chalky: you wouldn't dare, i would attact the attention of the keel

Sa'vor: true, but im not in the mood for arguements from feral changelings

Chalky: suit your self ( walks off)
( sa'vor walks across the desk quietly, and moves towards the captains quaters, Lisa appears out of no where)
Lisa: hold it right there Demon.. Dragon thing, your foul taint shall not last one more second

Sa'vor: oh :censored:
( lisa smashes his skull in with her hammer)
Lisa: well that was easy
( Sa'vors bloody corpse hits the ground and remains there oozing)
Jhon: wha? what was that?

Lisa: i just killed Sa'vor

Jhon: that easily?

Lisa: yeah, he was in pretty bad shape before but... oh no, he was defenceless and i killed him... he was evil though

Jhon: i'll pretend i didn't see anything

Lisa: thank you

Jhon: your welcom, didnt like the guy anyway

( Now as Sa'vor hovers as a incorpereal spirit,
Sa'vor: THAT REALLY HURT!!

Naz'roth: and now they real fun begins

Sa'vor: how ? my death casued us to fuse

Naz'roth: Exactly, i have a demonic failsafe, watch
( greeen light swells around the corpse of Sa'vor, healing its wounds, strengthining it)
Sa'vor: intresting

Naz'roth: exactly, why do you think they called me Naz'roth of legion?
( the spirit jumps into the repaired body) )
( Sa'vor gets to his feet, his form shimmers and sparks with black energy, the shimmering stops)
Sa'vor: ( raises a hand before him) its amazing, like sunlight in your veins, like the elements are mine to command ! i can hear the blood sing in the veins of all around me and mine, i can hear thier hearts !

Lisa: i thought you where dead!

Naz'roth: Naz'roth of legion never dies

Jhon: i renember hearing someone saying thier immortal before...

Sa'vor: true, i have to warn you,you may have thought i was powerful but cant imagine how powerful whats chasing you is, those vampires are only the beggining

( Jarlot leaves his quaters)
Jarlot: oh no, not you again

Sa'vor: you cant stop her, theres no stopping her untill she gets what she wants, the Prophesised one
Phantomcrossing

01-29-06, 03:31 PM		Norbaz comes up from below deck, sees Sav'or...goes back below deck instead of staying to deal with this predicament.
rampant

01-29-06, 07:10 PM		Pholly - What the hell is this stuff, i didn't make this, ITS EATING ME OH DEAR HOST ITS EATING ME HELP I'M STUCK AND THIS GOO IS EATING ME.


Kithle - Oh dammit Sa'vor did you have come back now, I finally figured out a way around whatever is protecting the redshirt. You just ruined a moment for me. Immortality is not always an advantage. Personally I'd like to find out how this "Immortality of yours interacts with a labotomy.
LugWrench

01-29-06, 10:46 PM		Mickey, Michael and Dooj are playing poker in the lounge. Mickey is soused to the gills, Dooj doesnt know how to play, and Michael is taking advantage of both of them.

Michael: Okay, Dooj. My ace beats your two eights, two aces and a jack. I win.

Dooj: Okay. Hey, You had the aces and eights last time, and it beat my ace. You cheat'n me?

Mickey: (tossing back a Lesser Restore-schlager) who cares?

Pholly goes running through the lounge, stark naked. Lisa is chasing after him with her hammer, and hollering something about decency even among the indecent. Pholly is screaming that his lack of clothing isnt his fault, that the goo ate his clothes.

Mickey, Dooj, and Michael look downt the corridor after Pholly and Lisa. Devon strolls in.

Devon: Hey, you guys seen Pholly and Lisa?

Mickey: I saw something.

Dooj: Im kind of wishing that I hadnt seen it.

Devon: Okay, just wondering. Deal me in, will ya?
rampant

01-30-06, 02:12 AM		Kithle - Dammit all to Kyhber. Why wont he DIE?!
Lord Kale Fangblade

01-30-06, 01:23 PM		Lisa: so, evil being, who is the chosen one ?

Sa'vor: why should i tell you that? you will all find out when they catch us ..( shivers) and im not letting that happen, not while blood still flows through my veins

Jhon, the keel: so this prohecy is bad?

Sa'vor: very, badder than even Naz'roth and i could be

Kithle: so, your immortal?

Sa'vor:yes and no

Kithle: how so?

Sa'vor: im not telling you that
( Naz'roth: reading our mind wont help, i can block it )
Kithle: damn

Jarlot: so, how powerful is this woman that we must face? and who is she?

Sa'vor: i cant tell you that, you have to find out for yourself and they know your here

Jarlot: thank you for the warning, Crew, take him to the brig and throw him into the containment cell for demons/ extra-planar beings !
( Lisa and Kithle grab Sa'vors arms and lead him below deck)
Andrea: well thats intresting, so, what are we going to do?

Jarlot: hand in Sa'vor for the reward money, he gets found by the vampires, then we run very far away from here

Andrea: that simple ?

Jarlot: we could always hold him in the cells and wait for the vampires to come, then use him as a get out of jail free card

Andrea: can we torture him?

Jarlot: if you wish
( much later, after being tortured by various crew members for many hours sa'vor hangs limply from the chains, Kantash floats before him)
Kantash: so, how shall we begin?

Sa'vor: well, i've already had thumb screws, cutting on me, flensing knives, had fingers shut in desk draws, holy water, silver, garlic and anything else involving phisical torture, now they're trying Sarlonan water torture, i've also been liquid keel hauled ... twice

Kantash: how about a run through your lives memories ?

Naz'roth ( through Sa'vor): Yes please, i want to see those coatal burn in the demon wars !

Kantash: how about witnessing the horrors of Xoriat?

Sa'vor: okay then, cant be worse than what i've already seen at the hands of those vampires
( an hour later) ( screams emit from the cell)
Kantash: i think its working

Kithle: its my turn next, i want him alive, i thought he was already insane

Kantash: i know, im just making him more insane, what are you going to torture him with?

Kithle: some of devons poetry ( both shudder)
( another hour later, Sa'vor is in his cell alone)
Naz'roth: i've never heard worse poetry in all my life
Sa'vor: my ears are bleeding, and what i saw in that scrying bowl, that is true madness, the Dealkyr are pretty weird guys....

Naz'roth:the crew actauly flew throught that!

Sa'vor: i was just starting to enjoy the pain and they stopped

Naz'roth: Devons next, followed by chalky, i really hate to think what he has cooked up, Devon will probabaly read us some more of that.... poetry... if you could call it that, or he'll show us his amazing chat up line collections, i just hope he doesnt knwo the Worm-do one ....

Sa'vor: they'll need us soon, it wont be long before those vampires show up, im itching to get them back for beating us

Naz'roth: oh no, here comes Devon...
****
rampant

01-31-06, 08:03 AM		Kithle - I have a request devon, Worm-do. Your little friend maybe able to block your secrets of immortality, but he is slipping on the trivia.

Sa'vor - You bastard.

Kithle - This is why I love my job. Also the reason I put up with the lousy pay. Note to self Next chance I get eat the brains of a master artificer. Merrix d'Cannith if I can get at him. Now I'll let Devon get started, and as to chalky, lets just say he has been taking notes from both smig and norbaz. *Insert Maniacal Laughter*

Sa'vor - Hey cut it out thats my job.

Kithle - Hello thats what I do.
Dex

02-01-06, 04:59 AM		When no-one's looking, Slip sneaks down to the cell where Sa'vor is being held.

Sa'vor: "Who the **** are you?"

Slip: "I don't exist"

Sa'vor: *mutters* "What manner of torture are you planning? I've had it all. Anyway, what have I ever done to you?"

Slip: *flames encasing her hand* "You're getting blood all over my ship. Those wounds really ought to be cauterized. Don't worry, in a silence spell, no one can hear you scream."

*Screams*

4633. Klaz! Stop wrestling longclaws on the deck!
4634. As hilarious as it is when it gets your arm in its mouth.
4635. Klaz, female members of the crew are not dinosaurs.
4636. You'll really know pain if you call Lisa a 'Sheela'.
rampant

02-01-06, 07:02 AM		4637. Chalky, Klaz's fingers do not make good squishy bait.

4638. Stop roasting things on the ring, it gets sticky and the elemental won't shut up until someone cleans it.

Lisa - whatever happened to the reversed stupid, uuhhhhmm Scholar wasn't it?

Kithle - *BUUURRRRRRRRP*

Lisa - *Glares*

Kithle - In my defense he knew meteorswarm, nightstalker transformation, and tenser's transformation.

Lisa - *confused* do warforged even have a physical brain?

Kithle - Wouldn't know i talked him into polymorphing into a bear first. Just to be sure.

Lisa - Why do I tolerate you?

Kithle - Because aside from norbaz i'm the only one on board with whom you can have a meaningful discussion without resorting to the hammer in less than 2 minutes, and the cookie is always busy this time of day.

Lisa - By the flame have I really fallen so far?

Kithle - Not yet, but you almost lost it when we were torturing Sa'vor and you helped.

Lisa - *Groans*

Kithle - Well see ya, i sat through 3 hours of John the Keel and the path of enlightenment. Now I'm going to repeat it back to Pholly word per word until his head explodes.

Lisa - You shouldn't... oh whats the point.
Phantomcrossing

02-01-06, 11:28 AM		The door to Savor's cell creaks open as Norbaz enters pushing a large cart.

Savor - And what torture pretell will you visit upon me in this hour.

Norbaz - Nothing actually, I'm not schedualed to torture you until tomorrow, its mealtime.

Norbaz removes a large tray from the cart, it seems to be a large rack of beef. Then he sets a large bowl of almost glowing, thick, red bubbling liquid.

Norbaz - Beef and Chili is the order of the day. Enjoy.

As Norbaz pushes the cart out, Michael and Dooj step in.

Michael - We're here to make sure you eat, and you don't have anything left to hide as a weapon.

Dooj - You're not getting a fork or spoon either, too risky.

Michael - And don't even think of trying to use the chili to escape, we've downed enough potions of acid resistance to keep this up all night.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-01-06, 01:13 PM		( Jarlot has recently left with Marish to buy supplies in a local town, they left on a small scouting skiff to make sure they dont attract the attention of their vampire enemies, now Jarlot and Marish return)

Jarlot: well, that whent better than expected

Marish: we got into TWELVE bar fights, two brawls, sixteen major scuffles, and a small fist-fight

Jarlot: all in all, a good day

Marish: just tell me you managed to get the supplies

Jarlot: of course, beer, more beer, liqiour and gruel

Marish: well thats settled
( they approach the forgotten freedom, something is terribly wrong, a black Warairship is moored to the ship)

Jarlot:Mercs! right, they've probably already seen us, Marish, you keep on flying and i'll use these boots of levetation we stole to gain acess to the ship

( they dock, Jarlot drops off the deck silently and proceeds to find an opening, he finds the sewerage shaft,)
Jarlot: Oh great
( after many an hour he manages to work his way into the ship, now he stands in the Cargo bay) ( a voice calls through a magical speaker)
Merc boss:Come out captain Jarlot and surrender to us, its no use, we know your on the ship, we have your crew hostage
( Jarlot sneaks through the ship to the armoury)
( meanwhile in the bridge)
Merc 1#: we have found all the crew, we have identified them through thier payslips, in the treasury we have found the ones known as squishy and Tabitha, all passangers and crew have been captured, all the cells are empty, exept one, where we found a bound and gaged goblin ninja

Merc Boss: Exelent, now all you have to do is to capture the captain, proceed to lead the crew onto the deck of our ship

Merc 2#: Sir yes, sir! (salutes) (all crew members are led to the deck of the mercs ship)

Dooj: (whispers to Andrea) shoudn't we be planning an escape?

Andrea: impossible, you saw how quickly the captured us

Kithle: if i heard right, Sa'vor wasn't in his cell

Micheal: doesnt that mean he escaped?

Ketler: but thats impossible, i created the cell myself, its enchanted and made from a combination of silver and adamantine, even if he did escape the chains, the containment spells, the force fields he would have to use a key gem, theres only one of them

Norbaz: the goblin ninja had that didnt she?

( all groan)

Dooj: has the captain got a chance at beating the Mercs?

Ketler: maybe
***
( at the armoury)
( jarlot approaches the door stealthily, he almost reaches for it before a roguh and bloody had grabs him around the mouth and pulls him into the shadows)

Jarlot: what was that for?

Sa'vor: if you want to die, go ahead, thiers twelve gaurds waiting in thier, they'd cut you apart

Jarlot: okay, but how did you escape?

Sa'vor: i could always escaped, i was just waiting for the opportuinity to be useful, though the wards caused me some trouble ( massages his burn hands)

Jarlot: so what now?

Naz'roth: its tacticaly imperitive that we take them out one by one, then we assault the leader with deadly force and free the others

Jarlot:right, what weapons do you have?

Sa'vor: none, you took the ones that i brought of me and the others where stolen by the vampires, though my claws and teeth should be surficent

Jarlot: well, i have a plan, would you mind being bait?

Sa'vor: no, better than being read that horrible poetry

Jarlot: okay then
( later in the cargo bay) ( four mercs walk in swords drawn)
Merc 1#: come out, come out where ever you are
( sav'or leaps our of the shadows and blasts one with a blast of energy, this is absorbed into the merc)
Sa'vor: Oh :censored:
( The mercs raise a hand each and blasts of green light strike Sa'vor and knock him back wards into the wall) ( they advance with swords parralel, twelve steps later a sythe swings at head height from the wall and decapatates them)
Naz'roth: (picks himself up from the floor) IMMUNE TO MAGIC! THATS HOW THEY OVER CAME THE CREW SO QUICKLY! :evillaugh thats brilliant
Crystalforged

02-01-06, 04:50 PM		Just as Jarlot and Sa'vor finish with the mercs Kanatash floats through the deck.

Kanatash: Bravo, quite a nice trick captain.

Jarlot: Where the :censored: did you come from?

Kanatash: Well, I made a point to avoid the Mercs when they proved they were easily overpowering the crew, and being incorperal they never even knew I was there.

Jarlot: But the mercs said that they had the entire crew.

Sa'vor: Yes, I understand that they identified everyone from their payslips.

Kanatash: All of that is true but you see the captain here does not pay me, being incorperal I have no bodily functions to meet and have no need of material wealth, or at least that is his justification for it. (glares at Jarlot) I stay anyways though for the many opportunities to commit acts of evil and madness this ship provides.

Sa'vor: Well then, what do we do now?

Jarlot: Hm, you and I had best continue our gurrilla tactics for now but I don't know what good Kanatash can be since they seem to be immune to his powers.

Kanatash: On the contrary. They are immune to MAGIC. My powers are unhindered. In fact I have already picked off one merc and have another two under mind control.

Sa'vor: Well that does change things a bit.

Kanatash: Yes, and may I suggest that we try to make a point to preserve a brain or two? I'm sure Kithle will be interested in seeing if he can... appropriate... that magic immunity they posses.
turalisj

02-01-06, 05:46 PM		<snip>
*falls off his chair laughing, swallows his gum, goes into a coma, and dies. All while laughing*
omfg, this is so damn funny. I've got to incorperate this into my game. Have to.....
turalisj

02-01-06, 06:13 PM		Here are some more Stargate SG-1 based ideas......

#????: The dragons of Argonesse are NOT Ascended
#????: Nor are the Lords of Dust Ori.
#????: No, you will not become a dragon if one of the Soveriegn Host show up before you die.
#????: No, three Kua-toa do not sit on a log by the road going Bud Why Ser.

edit: btw, any way to join the little fun up above? I have a kalashtar psion perfect for that......
Endless_Helix

02-01-06, 09:15 PM		I'm sorry in advance....

Klaz: Crikey! They've got us in chains! This doesn't look good mates!

Marish: I dunno... it kind of reminds me of my glory days *smiles*

Doog: Yeah, yeah, whatever... Klaz, who cares? We all know it looks bad! We've got eyes!

Klaz: Whoa there! No need to get arsed up mate! I've got a plan!

Doog: Awww man... not again...

Klaz: No, no, this one will work, trust me *flashes way to big smile with a conspiratorial wink*

Doog: Well, what do we have to lose anyway... certainly not our pride...

Klaz: It's simple! Tease Ajihazi!

Ajihazi: What!?

Doog: I fart in your general direction, your mother was a Hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!

Ajihazi: Hey, that was a cheap shot!

*feel free to continue from here*
LugWrench

02-02-06, 12:20 AM		The crew is shackled in a room, muttering and mumbling, and generally blaming the whole thing on someone else.

Mickey: Hey, wheres Pholly? I dont see him anywhere?

Lisa: Oh, they havent tried to lock him up. They arent brave enough to enter his lab.

Michael: Ill be damned, the little wierdo has a use after all.

Lisa: We already know youre damned, you leacherous drunk.

Dooj: Wheres Tabitha? Shes not here either.

Lisa: Shes helping these brigands do their taxes. I dont know whos the more evil in that reguard.

Mickey: Okay, but wheres Devon? And the cook?

Lisa: Oh, Devon is in the corner. The wasted no time in gaggin him and knocking him out when they heard his poetry. They seemed to work the head and shoulders rather thoroughly.

Mickey: What about the cook?

Lisa: Simple survival. Hes the only one that the food actually fears, so they keep him in the kitchen to keep the food from attacking.
Dex

02-02-06, 03:24 AM		After several more minutes of insults...

Dooj: "I ridicule you, you pflithy, english Kan-Igget!!"

Ajihazi:"I'M NOT AN ENGLISH KNIGHT!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Guard 1: "Oh :censored:! He's going Super Saian or something! Someone knock him out!"

Guard 2, advances and knocks Ajihazi out with the butt of his repeating crossbow : "Phew, that was close. For a second there I thought he was going to - "

Dooj loops the chain of his manacles around Guard 2's neck: *crack* "Man, this is my new Chain of Command, baby!"

Guard 1: :censored:! *whips up his crossbow, just as Klaz flicks the dead guard's crossbow up with his feet and fires* - *thunk!*

Dooj: "you're uglier than the old crone from scene 24! And weigh more than a duck!"

Marish, as they're looting the bodies and unlocking their manacles: "Dooj, we're out. Why are you still insulting Ajihazi?

Dooj, taking a well-concealed Burbon of Bull's Strength from the lining of his vest and skulling it: "Why not?"
rampant

02-02-06, 05:48 AM		Kithle - OK THATS IT NOW I'M MAD, RIGHTEOUS MIGHT, TENSER'S TRANFORMATION, RRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHGG (rage). BEHOLD THE UBER-THILID. CRRRAAAACKKK (chains go bye-bye)

Chalky - Hey putzers little thing. I'm a shapeshifter. ALL YOUR KNEECAPS ARE BELONG TO US.

Slip - They always forget me. *nightstalkers transformation* Time for some stabbity death.

Ketler - Chains, CHAINS, you insult me.

Andrea - Rusting grasp. To bad that immunity only goes so far.

Ninja Jealas - Oh come on did you really think you would catch us. *shuriken storm*

Pholly - Its break out time *****es. *rushes out coverd in flasks of alchemical mayhem* AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE

Norbaz - Rise my minions and destroy all who oppose your creator.

Elemental - Give me back my crew, their my pets and I don't have to share.

John - Please I'm begging you just run while you still can.

Old dwarf lady - Soup dear? be careful its a might warm.

Random Merc - OH HOST MY EYES.

smig - I summon the forces of nature to my aide. Rise my Pigeons and coat the unworthy in your rage.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-02-06, 01:31 PM		( after a long and hard fought battle involving much dirty fighting and swearing the crew have been supressed once more, this time by the pure magical might of the Merc Captain)

Merc Captain: you fools really though you could stop me! i mock your petty attempts of freedom, see my mocking! FWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, now, where is the captain going to go next?

Kithle: like i'd tell you that ( in his thoughts) He's probably heading for the armoury and then ketlers lab, he'd next go and pick up pholly as a human shield

Merc Captain: really, now who was in that cell, we know it wasnt the goblin ninja, we have overheard that it was occupied by another member of the crew, and thanks to your tabitha, we know its some kind of half-dragon hybrid. but what is his name? tabithas memory is strangely blank on that factor and all crew records have been erased

Kithle: jimmy the war midget .( in his thoughts) Well its Sa'vor and that Naz'roth dwelling in his mind, i'd like to ear thier brains some time ... i wonder what dragon brains taste like?

Merc Captain: good, now, ( walks over to the communications officer) send a message to these co-ordinates, (a list of co-oridnates),

Comm Officer: pathing through now sir
( a magical holo-gram appears, within it stands a being wreathed in violet flames)
Apparition: Do you have them?

Merc Captain: yes my liege, all but those named Jarlot and Sa'vor, some of the crew think of a being named Kantash

Apparition: so thats where the half-dragon got to, my flagship will be here shortly
( in the back ground Lucky screams somthing about a huge air-ship with an aura of death)
Merc Captain: of course my liege
( meanwhile)
Sa'vor: (screams and drops to his knees clutching his temples)

Kantash: what? what is it? let me in your mind
( Kantash probes into his mind, within swirls eternal images of battles, fires, death, blood, gore and millions of glowing runes
Naz'roth: Greetins Kantash, welcome to the abyss which is Our mind

Kantash:( looks at some of the battles) intresting, so, where are your magical secrets?

Naz'roth: Like i'd tell you, well, to the matter of hand, the thing thats affecting Sa'vor is the precence of a ship known as the Harbringer the arua of death around the ship is so strong that it affects the highly tuned spiritual sense of dear Sa'vor here, he cant drown it out, he must listen, un-like me, i am shielded by his mind

Kantash: all right, tell me about this ship, what makes it so powerful? its a sea fareing ship?

Naz'roth: No, an airship, an ancheint artifact of bygone days, its forged from Darkwood in which souls of thosands of demons and mortals have been bound, its elemental ring is powered by a creature called ( a brief sounding of demonic sylabals) or in your tongue, Soul Harrow, a elementalist demon, he became an elemental through magical means, then he was imprisoned by the being that controlls this ship

Kantash: how powerful is Soul Harrow?

Naz'roth: a Arch-demon, about twice as powerful as me as i am now, in my full power i was fourty times as powerful as he was, though without the artifacts wich hold four of the five parts of my sould i am weak, once i get them back i would be able to destroy that ship and its commander, but she insists in tormenting me, alas, i am reduced to stealing

Kantash: who is this being, this she?

Naz'roth: in the age of demons there where four of us, the most powerful Matriarcs and Patriarcs of our race, we here Xantral, Queltrish and Ullzul, and of course me, when the couatals sacrificed themselves to bind out kind, i along with them where bound into crystal prisons, our power was seperated from us by using dark magics of soul splitting and placeing them into our main artifacts. the being i talk of is Ullzul the seductress, she deligeted in lureing mortals to her when we where free, of course, she found a way to escape, now she wants her full power back, she must fullfill a prophecy rather than gather artifacts like i and the others must
Kantash: who is the prophecised one then?

Naz'roth: our fair captain, Jarlot

Kantash: really?

Naz'roth: ( nods) we must makes sure she doesnt complete the prohecy

Kantash: how?

Naz'roth: by killing him if we have to

Kantash: how do we stop Sa'vor from screaming?

Naz'roth: I'll have to take controll )
( Kantash is forced from Sa'vors mind)
Naz'roth:(rises to his feet, black flames flowing around his form, he transforms into the form used in thier battle over the gauntlet)

Jarlot: all better?

Naz'roth: Much
rampant

02-03-06, 04:10 AM		Kithle - Soooo boooored *in his head* Note this merc captain is now on my list of brains to eat. Might want to have john nuke the creepy boat.
LugWrench

02-04-06, 02:17 AM		:bump:
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-04-06, 03:08 PM		( aboard the Harbringer)

Ullzul: Is the Forgotten freedom within sight?

Hooded Figure 1#: Yesss dread mistressss

Ullzul: Prepare to pull up along side the Forgotten freedom
( the Hooded Figure raises his hand and a large group of Imps begin to work)

Ullzul: soon i will fullfil the prophecy and i will be at full power again, then the world will be mine for the taking ( evil laughter)
( aboard the forgotten freedom)

Naz'roth: They approach, there no time, we'll never be able to escape!

Jarlot: then we'll fight to the death

Naz'roth: Dont be a fool Jarlot, we'd never survive, and you'd be taken prisoner, me she'll just kill

Kantash: look on the bright side, at least we'll die, we dont have to put up with a fiend ruled eberron

Naz'roth: You call THAT a brightside? you should of seen the demonic Eberron, it was so ... beautiful

Jarlot: how so?

Naz'roth: I have no time to describe it, we must get down to buisness

Kantash: how can we hope to win? i mean, these Vampires you warned us about, they beat you into a pulp, how can we contend with that?

Jarlot: we should free the crew

Naz'roth: yes, that is the best course of action

Jarlot: we should infiltrate the merc ship and pick off the gaurds one by one, then we should attack the captain, then we'll free the crew

Naz'roth: And then die

Jarlot: pretty much

Kantash: am i the only one disagreeing with the whole dieing part ?

Naz'roth: no, i hate the idea as well, its jsut i have nothing better to do with my time
****
( aboard the Merc Ship)
( a Gaurd walks down the corridor whisteling, as he turns the corner a dark shape drops from the cieling and proceeds in draining his blood)
Kantash: i didn't know you could do that ...

Naz'roth: (whipes blood from his lip) its not somthing i enjoy doing often, it prefer it since its silent and doesnt waste my energys, plus, blood has a nice metalic taste

Jarlot: you ... are ... one very wierd person, you know that?

Naz'roth: yes, my ways are just different from your race, in our demonic culture, it was considered wierd to NOT drink blood and NOT rip off the heads of your victims and play rugby with them

Jarlot: remind me never to let you regain full power

Naz'roth: i really can't be bothered with taking over eberron, its a waste of my time, i'd rather manipulate all mortality to thier doom over the millenia and THEN take over whats left

Kantash: not before my masters turn this reality into a twisted vortex of pure chaos

Naz'roth: that would be an improvement

( they manage to reach the Bridge of the ship) ( they enter the room to find the Merc Captain waiting for them)
Merc Captain: Greetings Captain Jarlot, how good of you to join my little ... get together

Jarlot: are we going to exchange pleasntries or are we going to fight ?

Merc Captain: well, i was hopeing for a bit more of a monolouge and then a bit of beer followed by a climatic battle to the death, but it seems we'll have to cancel that

( Jarlot Draws his sword and thrusts, The Merc Captain parries with a sword of psioninc energy)

Merc Captain: not bad Captain, now, lets see if you can block

Naz'roth: ( sneaks behind the merc captain and breaks his neck) god i hate that kind of villain

Kantash: that makes you a hipocryt

Naz'roth: indeed it does, but i hate monolouges, i prefer to keep it short but of course tradition of villiany means i have to do other wise
( theres a horrible SNAP noise as the Merc Captain rises to his feet and re adjusts his neck)
Merc Captain: well, that was just rude ( a lance of Psionic energy pins them all to the floor)
( the door opens, and Ullzul steps through in the guise of a beautiful Human female)
Ullzul: well done Captain, that was quite a spectacular ending

Merc Captain: Thank you, and if you wouldnt mind i would like my payment, im gold

Ullzul: of course, My Servants will give you your just reward( clicks her fingers, the Hooded figures enter)

Hooded Figure 1#: yes dread mistress?

Ullzul: Give him his payment
( hooded figure one bows and walks up to The Merc Captain, He raises a mailed hand and plunges it into the Captains chest, the captains form writhes and deflates)
Charles Phipps

02-04-06, 04:14 PM		Memo to the Crew


Despite our affirmative action policy; we are hereby banning all members of the Cult of the Dragon Below, Quori, and hidious monsters from the dark reaches of the universe from the crew.

:coolcthul: *single tear drop*
Endless_Helix

02-04-06, 05:15 PM		Memo to the Crew


Despite our affirmative action policy; we are hereby banning all members of the Cult of the Dragon Below, Quori, and hidious monsters from the dark reaches of the universe from the crew.

:coolcthul: *single tear drop*

John: Oh, well... It's kind of funny actually, the guy who's getting thrown off is one of the only honestly good people on this ship... Maybe he can find enlightenment elsewhere.

Jarlot: I don't want to hear about it. Now turn mah Ship!

John: ... okay...
rampant

02-04-06, 05:32 PM		Chalky - if it ain't on the list you can ignore it, if its on the list we call it plaugerism.

Lisa - something's going down maybe the merc captain will be distracted.

Norbaz - All right then crew one more time, for booze, blood, gold, and mayhem.
Charles Phipps

02-04-06, 06:14 PM		:coolcthul: *hides in storage bin*

Jarlot: Now maybe we'll get some sanity around here!
rampant

02-04-06, 08:41 PM		Kithle and Kantash - Not if I have anything to say about it.
Phantomcrossing

02-04-06, 09:01 PM		Norbaz rolls up his sleave, revealing a red inky tatoo of a goliath warhammer, he presses it and it emerges from his arm, the black adamantine shimmering in the candle light, with a might blow he attempts to open the door contianing the crew.
Crystalforged

02-05-06, 01:35 AM		Jarlot, Sa'vor, and Kanatash are standing on the bridge of the merc ship still with Ullzul and her minions.

Kanatash: Well that plan went to hell. Time for plan B then. (telepathically to Jarlot and Sa'vor) I'll be back shortly, I'm going for reinforcements.

Kanatash's incorperal form darts into Jarlot's head and vanishes.

Meanwile Norbaz and the rest of the crew has finished of the mercs who are gaurding them. Unfortunately a squad of another dozen Mercs charges through the door just then.

Norbaz: Oh, :censored: no. Not again...

Kelter: Can I just surrender now and save myself from a third beating today?

Right then Kanatash is violently expelled from one of the merc's head using his uncarnate bridge ability and preceeds to immolate the remainder of the merc squad.

Norbaz: What the :censored: are you doing here?

Kanatash: Getting reinforcements. The captain and Sa'vor on the merc ship trapped by the merc's demoness employer and her vampire lackeys so I thought I should go aquire some help.

Norbaz: Oh, well what do you expect us to do? I'm the only one with a weapon and most of us have been thourghly beaten by the merc's.

Micheal: Did you say demoness :schemes:? (Lisa, lacking her hammer, punches him in the kidney) :( Ow... Ugh, yeah what now...

Kanatash: Well I took the liberty of aquiring some supplies from Kelter and Michey's rooms. (pulls out two small sacks and dumps out a small pile of flasks and a large pile of weapons and assorted devices of mass destruction) I assumed you wouldn't mind considering the circumstances.

Kelter: How did you know what to grab? I don't keep lists of my inventions or even label most of them.

Kanatash: After the "Giant Mooon Laaser incident"(inserts left pinky into mouth and points thumb downwards) I made a point to read you mind so I would know what you were working on. Now where was I... Oh yes I have weapons mundane and magical along with some scrolls and wands here so help yourselves. Beyond that I grabbed a few "special" items. (Telekinetically toses a long metal tube with a small tank attached to it towards Norbaz) This thing will fire off blasts of 12 alarm d'Norbaz chille. Its already loaded with twelve shots and I would give that tank about a half hour burn time. I would advise against being anywhere near it after that time.

Norbaz: Out of curiosity did you use the chille I serve or the weapons grade stuff I keep in the back.

Kanatash: The weapons grade stuff so it should turn steel to slag in under six seconds. Now lisa, I figured you would want to go after the vampires so I have a case of enchanted undead bane silver coated wooden stakes.

Lisa: (running her hand down the side of a stake) I think I'm going to get some use out of these.

Kanatash: I figured you would. Now Andrea, I have a tasismin of undead controlling. It should it make it easier for you to take command of any vampires or other undead you encounter and increase the number of undead you can controll.

Andrea: (watching the light glint off a blood red skull necklace) where have you been all my life?

Kanatash: Yes, yes. Now for Doog I have a new spiked magic chain of command with the cheep shot ability.

Doog: Cheep shot ability?

Kanatash: On a good hit it will disembowl you opponent.

Doog: Nice. :plotting:

Kanatash: Then for my compatriate Kithle I have special invention from Kelter that will allow you to suck brains from a distance.

Kithle: Magic immunity here I come.

Kanatash: Finally I have a device for Micheal. It will cause you to temprarily polymorph into an exact duplicate of the captain.

Micheal: Why are you giving me this? Why can't I get some cool weapon!

Kanatash: The reason the demoness is here is that she needs to complete some prophecy to regain her full power and to complete that prophecy she needs the captain for something. I plan to switch you with the captain so she has no chance of completing her prophecy since I don't want to face a demon lord.

Micheal: And why the :censored: do you think I will go allong with this?

Kanatash: The demoness is known as Ullzul the seductress and she deligeted in lureing mortals to her before she was bound by the Coutles.

Micheal: :ayyyy!: Okay then.

Norbaz: Now that thats settled do you have a plan for dealing with the other mercs on the ship?

Kanatash: Of course. I have already created a small army of Johnny, Squinty, and Melvin cloans as fodder and sent them to deal with the mercs. There shouldn't be any left by now though.

Norbaz: The cloans or the Mercs?

Kanatash: Preferably both. Now I still have the cloaning machine warmed up for you if you want it Kelter but the rest of us should go rescue the captain.
Phantomcrossing

02-05-06, 03:03 AM		Norbaz - Are they on the deck above us or below us?

Kanatash - One of the upper decks I believe.

With reckless adandon, Norbaz fires one shot of chili at a diagonal towards the ceiling...and the ceilings of the next few levels. He then proceeds leaping up.

Norbaz- Who needs stairs, onward.
rampant

02-05-06, 08:32 AM		Kithle - Schlurrp!! Got you, you fugging pain in the wexlsquorp. Magic Immunity is mine at last.

Merc Captain with a long distance labotomy - Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

Jarlot - SHARDS!!! i can see the back of his ruddy eyeballs.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-05-06, 03:05 PM		( during the battle Ullzul and Naz'roth come face to face)
Ullzul: Naz'roth, i havn't seen you since you lay beated and bloody before my feet

Naz'roth: Ullzul, you seem to have sagged a bit in the last few millenia !
( she swipes at him with her talon like nails)
Ullzul: You seem to have lost your taste, hideing within a Half -dragon elf scum? Do you have no standards?

Naz'roth: ( parries her attack and takes a swipe with his scythe) Well, at tleast im no masquerading as human filth, and from my view point we where wrong to go to war with the dragons, they where far too poweful we should of gathered our strenght, WHOSE FAULT IS IT THAT WE WHERE TRAPPED TO BEGIN WITH!!

Ullzul: YOUR BLAMEING ME ! ( knockes the Sythe from his hands) YOUR DRAGON BLOOD HAS BLINDED YOU ! where is the once great Naz'roth of legion? where is Naz'roth the Great ? where is Naz'roth the black? where is Naz'roth Lord of Shadows ? i'll tell you where ! a sniveling coward within this mortal shell! ( strikes naz'roth with a blast of fire wich hurls him across the room) ENOUGH ! ( raises her hands, a flash of crimson light paralizes all the combatants apart from her vampire minions)

Hooded Figure 1#: we have captured the prohecisssed one mistressss

Ullzul: ( lookes over the paralised form of the Fake Jarlot) YOU FOOLS ! we have been tricked, the real Jarlot is gone! we will find him, but first, take Naz'roth and any crew members whom you will
( hooded figures bow and drag out Naz'roth and a few of the others)
(aboard the Harbringer an hour later)
( Jarlot is dragged aboard)
Naz'roth: Great, today jsut gets better and better

Andrea: how many Vampires did we kill?

Lisa: i killed at least three

Naz'roth: in total? five

Ullzul: now we have him, we shall complete the prohecy

Naz'roth: Not quite ( stands up) you see, ypu have captured the wrong Prohecised one, its me you want

Ullzul: How can this be? we have the prohetic writeings

Naz'roth: Foregeries, there is no Prohcecy, aside the one concerning your slayer, me, it speaks
"At the Moment of his freedom,
Naz'roth of shadows shall be bound to one of scales,
Within his mind he shall acess draconic blood,
with this blood forged there be the one,
One bound to destrot the Deamon Ullzul with fires of black,
One bound to be immolated with these fires,
One bound to destroyed and Free Eberron from the Foul Taint of Ullzul"
Prepared to Die ! ( raises a hand and speaks an incantment, black fire shoots from his outstretched hand and encircles Ullzul, it also encirlces Naz'roth)

Andrea: then what happens to us?

Naz'roth: Flee, flee now, you are free, you shall continue your adventures and so on and so forth, oh and when she dies it causes a huge explosion, so run VERY fast ( resumes chanting)

( they run, and jump of the Deck of the Harbringer landing on the forgotten freedom wich speeds away)
Jarlot: are we far enough away ?

Elemental: yes captain

Jarlot: then i suggest we watch the fire works
( huge explosion of black fire, thosands of souls stream from the explosion in a never ending tide)
Jarlot: i have a strange feeling we havn't seen the last of Sa'vor and Naz'roth

Kantash: actualy we have, from my veiwing of Naz'roths mind his power only works as long there is just a small part of him remaining, but nothing could of survived that

Narrator: With Naz'roths sacrifice the crew is safe to continue there adventures, and pillage and burn and steal and drink.... maybe we should just leave before they notice us ...
urial angel of death

02-05-06, 03:31 PM		Naz'roth and Sa'vor:*floating in the astral plane*
Sa'vor: aren't I supposed to be in the realm of the dea and you be totallly destroyed
Naz'roth: well you would assume so but the DM seems to have used plot device magic to keep us around for future adventures
Sa'vor: DM?
Naz'roth: never mind
rampant

02-05-06, 06:17 PM		Narrator - AAAAAAHHHHHHHH GODSDAMMIT CHALKY THATS MY PANCREAS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT CHILI?!?. GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. NOT THE LUNGS NOT THE LUNGS!!! MY SPINE DOESN'T GO THERE!


Kithle - Seriously hoybee magic missles away I'm immune now.

Hoybee - Ooookay, but you asked for it. Magic missle *shakazoom*, ahh dammit again with the lightning bolt.

Kithle - I don't care I'm still immune yay!

Ketler - (from behind kithle) *COUGH* Good for you, bastard. Excuse me, i need to see mickey now.


Elemental - You know John, you still got a nuke for today.

John - Please don't remind of that abomnation I carry.

Elelmental - Your pretty prissy for someone who gets so much power. I didn't even get a name and I'm having a better time than you.


Squishy - I don't belive it that Changeling hasn't come after me for almost an hour. I almost feel sorry for the poor bum who lasts that long. Anyways, Tabitha where are the records for the last week its payday tommorrow.

Tabitha - On top of the left cabinet, be careful I think the ninjas have been mesing with them.


Pholly - *BABABWOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Charles Phipps

02-05-06, 08:12 PM		Jarlot: Well now that our enemies are defeated for a time, we can go back to normal.

:coolcthul *from hidin*: Whew.

Jarlot: Of course, all of this is :coolcthul 's fault.

:coolcthul : !

John: What? How is it his fault?

Jarlot: He's tentacly and eldritch! Of course its his fault!

John: That's racist!

Jarlot: Quiet spikey or I'll keel haul you!

John: I'm the keel!

Jarlot: Okay....new rules based on recent behavior at the Throneport Music festival.....

4641: It is impossible to control the undead by wearing a sequin jumpsuit and dancing.
4642. I know, I've tried.
4643. You are all forbidden from Karoake....
4644. Forever.
4645. It is wrong to use a Horn of Blasting as musical accompaniment.
4646. Putting a boot up their ass is not the Brelish way. Selling the boots for 200 coppers is.
4647. It isn't ironic, those are just a series of very unfortunate events Lisa.
4648. Dontcha think.
4649. Heaven is not a place on this 'Earth' planet wherever that is, it is in a dimension called Mount Celestia.
4650. As bad as her music is, this Brittney bard person is not Toxic....nor should she be dumped in a vat of Cannith runoff.
4651. We have not only stayed in the Hotel Kalifornia but we in fact have left.
4652. Everybody does not want to rule the world, I personally am one of the few who thinks its a swell job.
4653. I do not know Stacy's mom so I couldn't in fact tell you whether or not she has it going on.
4654. Ketler is forbidden from making the music speakers from going to the 11. Because 11 destroys buildings.
4655. Girls who don't like boys but only like cars and money are merely a statistically significant portion of the population, not the entirety and boys aren't much better.
4656. Walking like an Aegyptian just makes you look like a fool.
4657. All I need is a miracle, all I need is you is a contradiction....
4658. The only thing miraculous about this crew is it hasn't been struck down by the gods.
4659. Jacob Hunter is forbidden from trying to sing "Golddigit" and other songs about his life....they're meant to be sung by women.
4660....and he's forbidden from turning into a girl to sing it. Creepy ass changelings....
4661. It is wrong to use the airship to do stunts everytime someone plays "Danger Zone."
4662. It does not make you Sir Thomas Cruise!
4663. He's a gnome anyway!
rampant

02-05-06, 11:13 PM		4664. Gnomes are not to be reffered to as snacks. Unless they are especially annoying.

4665. Do not tease every thranite we see just because we blew the snot of their armada. Save it for the big fish.

4666. The elemental is for propulsion. Not roasting bards.

4667. Or Gnomes.

4668. Or Halflings.

4669. Or anything else.

4670. No you can't sear things either except as part of a combat manuever.

4671. FOR THE LOVE OF GOLD, THERE IS NO BATMAN ON THIS MOBILE MADHOUSE.

4672. As above but switch slip for batman.
(Cold orb to the back of the head)
Jarlot - DAMN THATS COLD.

crew breaks out into a snow war again.

Jarlot - were do they get the snow.

Kithle - Same place chalky gets his art supplies and Norbaz gets ingredients for chili. We steal from the Labs on board, just like when you go looking for drink additives. Now if you'll excuse me, Hey pholly eat frozen comet swarm.
Crystalforged

02-05-06, 11:40 PM		The scene cuts back to Naz'roth and Sa'vor who are still floating in the astral plane.

Sa'vor: So if we survived do you think Ullzul survived too?

Naz'roth: Possibly.

Sa'vor: So then what do we do now anyways?

Naz'roth: We are at a bit of an impass. Without any supplies it could take quite a while to find a way out of here...

A massive flash of light suddenly appears in front of Sa'vor and Naz'roth forming a small multicolored tear in space.

Sa'vor: Would you look at that! Some sort of planar rift or portal. Do you think we should go through it?

Naz'roth: We might as well. I'm sure nothing good can come out of it but it has to be another plot device so we'll end up going through it no matter what.

The rift suddenly drifts forward swallowing up Sa'vor and Naz'roth. They come to shortly after in a strange tunnel sitting in a boat which is propelled by an unseen force.

Sa'vor: Where are we now? Xoriat, Dal Quor, some other terrible plane?

Naz'roth: No, worse.

Sa'vor: Worse? What could be worse?

Naz'roth: Disneyworld... (music begins playing in the background "Its a small world after all. Its a small world after all. Its a small world after all. Its a small, small world...")
Charles Phipps

02-06-06, 01:47 AM		Jarlot: Well at least we've managed to survive this long. I can't wait to get some port time.

Batman: Agreed.

Jarlot: Man, will they have some egg on their face if they ever find out you're around.

Batman: I am the Night.

Jarlot: Yes, you are. Hey, remember how we met?

Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/285267)
rampant

02-06-06, 03:45 AM		Kithle - No Frakking way. Die. *shlcshlcshlcshlc*
Dex

02-06-06, 04:19 AM		In a generic Tavern called the 'Welcome Wench', not unlike the Mos Eisley Cantina, in an isolated port on the far-flung coast of Xen'drik, a horde of crazy, wierdo airship crewmen (and crewwomen) drank, sang, brawled, bragged about their recent deeds of daring-do and blowing **** up.

Then the Forgotten Freedom's Crew turned up...
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-06-06, 11:16 AM		Im going to give you all a short respite from my plot lines, now go and do what you normaly do

Jarlot: what? you mean pillage, murder, eat, drink and generaly save the world ?

Yes

Jarlot: Okay then!
Charles Phipps

02-06-06, 03:52 PM		I thank you for your plots, they've been highly entertaining.
JakeQuistis

02-06-06, 07:09 PM		Ever since reading the start of this, I loved it, especially when the crewmembers popped up and the whole small rp thing started. So far, I have my own character I thought up, in a niche that hasn't been covered yet.
Allen
Vampire Lord Artificier ??
His actual name is not Allen, but due to a curse put onto him, no one, not even himself, can say his real name, so the crew just gave him the name Allen. And no one else knows how he got on board either, besides the fact that they needed a representative from the undead and vampiric community to round out their crew, due to the equal opportunity laws for Pirates. His life's goal is to create a warforged that lacks sentience and is large enough for him to pilot it. And in addition, he seems to lack any of the traditional vampire weaknesses. Although there are two rumors circulating about him, due to the fact that he never is where Pholly is. One is that he is allergic to Alchemist's Fire, another is that Pholly is an even greater Vampire who is Allen's master, and the reason why he is on the ship.
urial angel of death

02-06-06, 08:00 PM		tabbitha : Squishy why don't we give Allen a pay check and what is this unlabeled sum in the out box
Squishy: the money is for Scravinch an Avolakia friend of mine, he said that he was sending over a powerful undead slave to help us out and I assume Allen is him. After all that slave was the only undead much less vampire that I have on record as being invited aboard, and don't vampires need to be invited?
JakeQuistis

02-06-06, 10:29 PM		Allen walks out of the shadows, wearing a bright white shirt and leather pants, taking his paycheck from Squishy.
"Thank you very much, wonderful Squishy. And don't worry about me at all, I'll come here to get it myself, you don't have to bother yourselves." He says cheerfully, in the tones of someone who sounds completely innocent of anything wrong he could of possibly been accused of.
Crystalforged

02-06-06, 10:30 PM		Kithle and Kanatash are below decks on the Forgotten Freedom playing darts with a redshirt... as a target...

Kithle: (telepathically) So why did you ask me to come here?

Kanatash: (also telepathically) Well I have never had a chance to really talk with you before with all the crazy :censored: thats been going on around here. I like to get to know all the new crew members, now normally "getting to know" a crew member involves Brain lock, a dark room, mental probing, and memory erasing but since you are at least as good at mind reading as I am you would be able to block my attempts so I had to go about it another way.

Kithle: Fine. I wouldn't mind asking a few questions about you either. To begin with what do you call this game?

Kanatash: This? Doog came up with a while back. I don't think he came up with a name for it. The rules are simple (points towards redshirt tied to a spinning target) I call a limb and try to hit it with one of these darts. If I hit you try to hit the limb. If you hit I call another limb and go again. If you miss I get one point and get to go again. If I miss you get to call a limb. The game ends when the redshirt goes unconscious.

Kithle: Fine, since you invited me I'll go first. LEG! (hurls a dart impaling the redshirt's leg)

Redshirt: MY LEG! YOU SHOT MY BLOODY LEG!

Kanatash: Good shot. First I was wondering how you can retained some of you memories after the illithid transformation. From my experience with illithids the hosts mind is destroyed. (telekinetically throws a dart and strikes the redshirt's leg)

Redshirt: DEAR SWEET JAELA! MY OTHER LEG!

Kithle: Its an odd story. I had a talent at mimicry from an early age and when they implanted the tadpole I mimicked its thought which confused it something awful. Eventually it stopped eating my brain so the transformation is really somewhat incomplete. ARM! (impales the redshirt's arm)

Redshirt: PLEASE GODS! NO MORE!

Kanatash: Interesting. So which one is in control? The tadpole or the human? (fires and misses redshirt's arm) :censored:

Redshirt: Oh, whatever god was listening, thank you! THANK YOU!

Kithle: Neither. Both minds have more or less fused together over time. Now for my question. Is it true that this ship visited the motherland of Xoriat earlier? HAND! (throws and misses redshirt's hand)

Redshirt: (crying) ThankyouThankyouThankyou. No more pain…

Kanatash: HA! My turn! Yes the ship visited Xoriat a while back. I had made an ill fated attempt on control of the ship and implanted a few "suggestions" in the captain's mind so even after I was defeated he ended up taking the ship to Xoriat with some strange device. HAND (takes off the redshirts middle finger)

Redshirt: AHHH! MY FINGER!

Kithle: Really. Is it all they say it is? (strikes the target between two of the redshirt's fingers) :censored:

Redshirt: (gasping) Ok, keep breathing. Just keep breathing.

Kanatash: Oh yes and much more. The crew didn't experience much of it on their brief trip but before I joined the crew I accidentally planeshifted myself there and spent several hundred years there. Words cannot describe the perfection of its madness. What I do on this ship is really only a pale imitation. FOOT (Impales the redshirts foot)

Redshirt: …whimper…

Kithle: Pity I didn't join this crew earlier. I would have liked to see Xoriat. (slices several toes of the redshirts foot)

Redshirt: … mommy…

Kanatash: I do have some connections among the ranks of deranged ones. I might be able to arrange a short vacation of a sort although it would be difficult. HEAD (strikes the redshirt in the middle of the forehead)

Redshirt: gluega… (slumps forward unconscious)

Kithle: Looks like he's out cold. Does that me we tie?

Kanatash: Yes I believe it does.

Kithle: So what do we do with the body? I expect that eventually Lisa or the captain will have to notice the redshirts missing.

Kanatash: Thats the beauty of the game. I modified Doog's version slightly. You see these darts are specially enchanted by Kelter with the merciful ability and a special illusion power. The darts are incapable of doing lethal damage but it deceives the victim into believing they are suffering garish wounds. Now we just dump him back in the redshirt quarters and he will wake up tomorrow feeling terrible with a horrible memory that he can't distinguish between his dreams and reality.

Kithle: Hm, an excelent mix of psychological and physical torture. Wait some one's coming. I think it's Lisa, let me shield us so she doesn't find us.

Kanatash: No wait. I want her to find us

Kithle: Ok... But if you're trying to screw me over I eat your brain and get some of your powers.

Lisa: (noticing the darts and the redshirt’s slumped form) What manner of evil is being perpetrated here!? (grips warhammer tightly)

Kanatash: Don’t bother wasting one of you uses of smite evil on me.

Lisa: (not letting go of the hammer) Oh? And why not?

Kanatash: Well besides the 50% miss chance it would be doing nothing to reduce the evil in the universe because since I have been tainted by the Delkyr I have no more control over my evil nature than the Delkyr themselves. You would be just taking out conflicting emotions at you questionable actions on an external target. Most unpaladin like behavior.

Lisa: (lowering the hammer slightly) My questionable actions?

Kanatash: Oh yes. Since you became part of this crew you have fallen far. I’ve been inside your minde and there are too many infractions to name really. A few of your sins bear naming, we’ll start with the Pride coming from feeling yourself better than anyone else on the crew because of your abstract beliefs. Wrath springs from all your anger at the crew for their actions even though a fair number of them have some deeper nature which drives their actions that is beyond their control. Then there is Envy of those in Thrane who live every day with the blessing of the church and Gluttony for the blessings and praises passed out by the clergy of the silver flame. Oh, Sloth since it has been months the last time you sat down to pray to the silver flame for any reason other than to regain your daily spells and you don’t do latrine duty even when you are scheduled. Plus Greed as you so nicely demonstrated with your help on the bank job since even if you claim you helped so you could take down Sa’vor you still didn’t oppose us when we cleaned out the vault and even took your share of holy artifacts. Finally buried deep, deep within you is the spark of Lust. Specifically for Michael even though you know that he is probably the most despicable member of this crew because he does all his evil of his own free will with none of the supernatural tendencies or extraplanar manipulations that encourage most of the other crew members. There you have it, all seven deadly sins in one handy package. Face it, after all the bounty on your head is bigger than Doogs, you should just start taking blackgaurd levels right now.

Lisa: (looks at her hands as if they are diseased) I need to think… and pray. I need to pray a lot. (runs from the room)

Kithle: (giving Kanatash a sly look) That was planned wasn’t it.

Kanatash: I’ve been preparing for months. By the way if you try anything with me I make you wish you had never been born/spawned. I’ve been on this flying madhouse for a lot longer than you have and I have certain “contingencies” in place that will ensure that I’ll come back to return whatever you do to me a thousand fold.

Kithle: I’ll keep that in mind. Anyway, (smiling broadly) mindgames are fun aren’t they?

Kanatash: They’re the only type of game worth playing.

Kithle: Of course, by the way have you ever tried coupling them with the modify memory spell? I’ve found its effects particularly pleasing.

Kanatash: I’ve thought of it but never tried it. Care to expand upon your experiences with it?

Fade to black
StillbornGodling

02-06-06, 11:58 PM		*saved to account*

This thread ROCKS! I'm only on the first page and I'm rolling with laughter!

I hope my first Eberron campaign (kicking off this Saturday) will go as well as all of yours!
Charles Phipps

02-07-06, 12:07 AM		Meanwhile…

Slip: You think Kanatash still thinks that he’s in control of the ship?

Captain Jarlot: Yeah, those whose whole “muhahahhaha” evil guys never learn.

Slip: You have to admit that he really did get you good.

Captain Jarlot: Unfortunately, he made one mistake.

Slip: What’s that?

Captain Jarlot: He didn’t get me permanently.

Slip: So what are you going to do?

Captain Jarlot: There’s one thing you have to understand about the Forgotten Freedom Slip.

Slip: It has caused more damage to Eberron in totality than probably any single force other than the Dragons or Daelkyr?

Captain Jarlot: Two things then. The second is related to the first. At heart Slip, we’re not the bad guys.

Slip: You could have fooled me.

Captain Jarlot: Very funny. I built this ship when I stole it from House Lysander…

Slip: Built and stole are contradictory….

Captain Jarlot: Slip, do you want to go back to being the Captain’s mistress?

Slip: And have to share quarters with Marish!? NEVER!

Captain Jarlot: Then don’t interrupt. This ship isn’t built on evil. It’s sure as hell not built on good. But it’s built on Freedom. This is a ship where people are allowed to be themselves. Twinks, Munchkins, Overly complicated backgrounds, Power Gamers, Monty Haul players, blatant rip offs of popular media, hack and slashers, Rules Lawyers, and every other type of adventurer that exists in Eberron. They’re all welcome here because we make no judgments about the way they choose to live their life. What I don’t tolerate onboard this ship is people who deliberately set out to ruin other people’s lives.

Slip: You keep a Paladin and an Anti-Paladin onboard.
Captain Jarlot: Neither is going to win awards for their sterling example of proper behavior Slip. I’ve protected this ship from a lot of people who’ve tried to take it over before….

***

4 years ago
On the Deck of the Forgotten Freedom

Kellog the Rakashasa laughed maniacally as he revealed his true form while clutching Marish across the throat with his clawed hands “You fools! You honestly believe that the Lords of Dust would ever allow you to continue on your merry way? We’ve been watching you this entire time! You’ve been our tools all along to sew anarchy and misfortune across the lands of Khovaire!”

Marish winced and cried “No…please…”

Kellog sneered as the Tiger man held a jeweled dagger to her face. “Now its time for you to realize that you are nothing more than slaves to our will. You’ll work now to destroy others for the glories of the Rajahs and you’ll beg for when I give you the release of death after I’m done with you.”

Andrea turned to the Captain who stood there stoically and said “What are we going to do?”

Jarlot, having just come out to get his morning coffee took out his blessed crossbow and shot the Demon in the face. The Lord of Dust fell over and exploded into netherworld flames as he returned to the darkness he came from.

Marish said “How did you know to use a blessed crossbow?”

Jarlot said “I knew he was a Rakahasa all along….but he was the best damn cook that we ever had.”

***

Slip: Is that true?

Jarlot: Surprisingly yes, but when she asked, I actually said ”I’m Batman” and started a whole trend.

Slip: Have their been other occasions?

Jarlot: A few….

***
2 years ago
On the Deck of the Forgotten Freedom

Erandis D’Vol cackled as the Lich Queen held Marish in her desiccated arms while the hideous undead witch had brought them over the side of the greatest volcano in all of Eberron.

“You blithering fool!” Erandis D’Vol sneered “Did you actually believe for a second that I was a mere Aerenal elf!? I have been aboard this ship this entire time in preparation for the day that I would reveal myself! With the sacrifice of all the lives taken onboard this ship I will use them to awaken the Dragonmark of Death and once more bring a nightmare of horror onto the world!”

Marish winced and cried “No…please…”

Ketler stared at the Captain who stood there stoically and said “What are we going to do?”

Captain Jarlot then pushed one of the levers as the trapdoor underneath Vol dropped out and hideous witch fell down into the fiery chasm where her present body was utterly destroyed.

Marish said “How did you know to build a trapdoor there?”

Captain Jarlot said “I knew she was Erandis D’Vol the entire time…but she was the best damn swabby we ever had.”

***

Slip: Is that true?

Jarlot: Suprisingly yes but the trapdoor was really Ketler’s idea and Vol wasn’t the swabby. She took on a comely elven form and…

Slip: …..?

Jarlot: Was the best damn ROPE tyer we ever had!

Slip: So what are you going to do?

Jarlot: I’m going to protect my boat.

Slip Don't...hurt him too much.

Jarlot: I'm just going to remind him that when it comes to Chaos in Khovaire, I am King.

(I'd be interested in reactions to this)
rampant

02-07-06, 07:38 AM		Kithle - This will be fun.

Allen - what?

Kithle - ah newbie, my advice, get a helmet.

Allen - What the ?

Kithle - You'll see

Elemental - He means its about to hit the fan.

Allen - Whats about to ?

John - There will be much pain and suffering.

Allen - What under Syberis is everyone going on about.

Kithle - I'm not telling.

Allen, John, Elemental - Bastard

Kithle - I love my job.
Dex

02-07-06, 08:18 AM		Must. Create. Java. Version. Of. That. Game.

Pity I don't know Java...

___________
On main deck, Kanatash, Kithle and Dooj are dragging off another unconcious redshirt, and Jarlot begin his mind games...

Jarlot: "Okay, everyone listen up! I'm going to let Ketler make the ENTIRE SHIP sentient!"

Everyone else: :eek:

Jarlot: "Just kidding!"
___________

Another Forgotten Freedom game...

Kanatash: "Sooo Dooj, what's this one? I mean, the spinning redshirt dartboard was a stroke of psychotic genius, but how do you top that?"

Dooj: "uh, don't look at me. Michael thought of it."

Lisa readies her hammer

Michael: "It's quite simple. We give Stoopid a tower shield."

Stoopid picks up his shield and nods stupidly

Michael: "Then we get a redshirt, standing on the edge of the deck, like so..."

Michael grabs a handy redshirt, who takes one look at stoopid with the shield, the edge of the airship, and nearly faints when he figures it out.

Michael: "Lastly, we get Hoybee and Squinty the near-sighted Gauth to levitate about 60ft off the bow."

Hoybee and Squinty take up positions.

Kanatash: "I believe I've figured it out thanks. But what do we do?"

Michael: "Nothing. This is just a specator sport. Betting starts at 1:40 Hoybee, 1:14.7 Squinty. Go ahead Stoopid"

Stoopid bull-rushes the redshirt off the deck, screaming and cartwheeling through the air while Hoybee and Squinty fire spell after spell at it.

Redshirt: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

One round before hitting the ground, the Quall's Feather token Michael planted on the redshirt earlier activates and he touches down safely.

Dooj: "I'll never get tired of that."

Kanatash: "And you're not afraid the blind duo are going to hit them?"

Michael: "Are you?"
JakeQuistis

02-07-06, 09:26 AM		"Anyone who would try to stand against the captain would have to be completely insane. He has to have some kind of incredible strength hidden, how else would he have a crew this large and powerful?" Allen says.
Endless_Helix

02-07-06, 11:24 AM		John: Ummm... Actually the captain survives on account that he stays drunk most of the time and is thus the least of evils. Most of the big bad evil crew are at eachother's throats most of the time.

4673: The Chamber is not Team America, World Police.
4674: We are not Team America, World Police.

Ajihazi: Maaarish!

Marish: What wrong sweetums?

Ajihazi: Michael stole my lunch money.

Marish: Look, honey, we don't have lunch money here, we get free food.

Ajihazi: Sniffle... WAAAAAA...gluh... What's going on?

Marish: I'm not quite sure.

Ajihazi: I think that I'm on the trail of the trouser titan.

Marish: Oh, really.

Ajihazi: I've enlisted Klaz's help. He knows a lot about titans.

~

Klaz: Doog?

Doog: What?! Can't you see I'm busy here?

Klaz: Crikey! Is that... Squinty?

Doog: Nah... This is one of the normal redshirts polymorphed. We're going to see if he can seduce Squinty, or failing that, make his pimples pop.

Klaz: Oh, sounds like fun... I was polymorphed once...

Doog: Get out!

Klaz: I was a spanish poodle for twenty four hours. I got a lot of good views mate! *pathetically roguish wink*

Doog: Ha.

Klaz: Well, anyway, the reason I came over was cuz Ajihazi asked me somethin...

Doog: Khyber, not that freakish psychopath...

Klaz: He's bloody obsessed with your, ah, "trouser titan", mate.

Doog: Tell me something I don't know...

Ketler: Hey! You two! Help me with this awakened bath tub! It's trying to commit suicide!
Phantomcrossing

02-07-06, 12:53 PM		Ketler: Come on!

Norbaz: No.

Ketler: Think of the advances!

Norbaz: No.

Ketler: It would make your job so much easier!

Norbaz: No.

Ketler: Its just awakening all your pots and cooking utensils.

Norbaz: Exactly, I prefer to cook alone, and besides. They'd have to live with holding my cooking, and that's just not something I think is right.

Ketler: But you're evil.

Norbaz: I'm also a man who cares about the tools of his craft.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-07-06, 02:22 PM		( aboard the forgotten freedom, exactly six-months since Naz'roth destroyed ullzul. Micheal and dooj are busy harrasing Red-shirts, pholly has exploded, Devons writeing more poetry and practising his chat-up lines, Lisa is preparing to smite micheal and Jarlots Drunk ... again)

( theres a flash of Green light and a sound like tearing silk, a small vortex of shadowy energy hovers just above deck, from it the sounds of battle can be heard)

Dooj: what the ?
( Theres a horrible Roar and a Shadowy entity emerges backwards fighting off somthing, it moves with lightning speed, two deadly Kamas flashing with black fire, The shadowy entity collapses in a pool of blood, the shadowy figure stands still, his two kamas dripping black blood)

Jarlot: rises and draws his sword drunkenly) avast!

(The Shadowy entity rocks on his feet and falls face first)

Jarlot: Well ... THat was easy

Kithle: ( coming up from belwo deck) Well lets get a look at him, ( the vortex closes)
( kithle walks up to the body and turns him face up)
Kithle: i thought he died

Jarlot: you know im getting tierd of all thease re-accuring villians, throw him over board

Kithle: no, wait, theres a Journel on him, and theres a note nialed to it
*Ahem* "
Dear Crew of the forgotten freedom,
IF you are reading this then i have reached you safely, i wont bore you with the details of how i survived and how i got here, i'll just give you the basics;
After the explosion me and Naz'roth where drawn into a fell dimension named DISNEYWORLD, within we fought with foul creatures and the like, we managed to escape into the plane of shadows, we jouneyed for two weeks untill we reached Dolurrh, where Naz'roth was put to rest, though it seems im not to die, i have some task to perform. they gave me back my equipment and a corpereal form, Naz'roths power still remains within me and so does his knowledge, for the past twenty years i have been trying to return here, i ahve traveled to all the planes. i have fought demons, angels, Dealkyr, creatures of nightmares, the very ground i walk on, the very blood within me.
I have had my mind messed with, probed, i have been beaten, tortured, almost cooked on three occasions, hung and behaeded all for the knowledge i carry. i seek some time for solice apon your fair ship captain,
PS, my mind is unreadable so dont try Kithle or Kantash or any other mind readers you've picked up "

Lisa: twenty years? but for us its been only six months!

Micheal: he does look older, and that scar across his face proves some of what he's saying

Kithle: i vote we throw him overboard

Norbaz: me too, i have no likeing for his kind

Jhon: i vote against, he may be evil but he saved out lives

Klaz: i vote against, the bugger deserves to heal before we toss him over board

Lisa: i'll have to vote against, hes defenceless, he deserves a chance at least

Jarlot: he did save out lives, lets put him in a cell, oh and one of you read his journel.

Character Profile, Sa'vor the Shadow Scarred
Race: Half-fiend, Half-Dragon, Half-Vampire, Shadow Creature, Valenar Elf
Class: Warlock (20), Fighter (10), Heir of Siberys 3

after twenty years trevelling the planes Sa'vor has been changed greatly, from what has been constrcuted from his journel Sa'vor has spent two years wandering the Plane of shadows, one in the astral, One in the Etherreal and One on everyother plane. He gained his scar from a fight with a Dealkyr named Xer. over these years he has expanded his magical knowledge futher than concivable, he seems to have had arcane, Divine and Psioninc energy placed into his very essence by some power. It seems from Journel extracts that he spent a year on Dal Qour being interigated and mentaly scanned for some plan, this is suggested how he gained psionic power, On Xorait he was grafted and trained to perfection as a killing machien for his masters. his mind has been shattered by what he has experienced, it seems to be in five major parts:

Sa'vor: this part of his mind is when he pulls all of his characteristics into one, this is his most dangerous stage, it allows him to think, wield all his powers and magics, fight, and use the components placed within him, this is also the form that allows him to use the latent abillities of his Dragon marks of Death gained from realsieation that he is the last heir of Vol, he retains this mind frame for most of the time, unless he takes on one of the others

The Beast: this side of his mind was gained while stuck in the demonic wars on Shavarath, he somehow managed to tap into his vampiric and Shifter Nature (left behind by Naz'roth whom assimilated all the powers of Humaniod races), this form makes him violent and unpredictable, he thrists form blood and the hunt tracking foes through all types of terrain and fighting feroucously, but he doesnt use his intelligence, he uses a more feral and savage intelligence. this mind frame takes controle fourdays every month

The Killing Machine: Cold and heartless, this form kills everyhting in sight, uses trickery and magic to overcome its foes. it hunts down everything without remorce of even care, it doesnt care what harms him or if he dies he just fights to the death; this form is far more lethal than anyother, its only tirggered once a month. this mind frame was gained during his stay at Xoriat

The Conduit: This Mind frame is his least dangerous, he just talks drivel in many languages and seems to listen to spirits, the land, the gods, and absorbe and sence magical power. in this mind frame he is passive and just sits or wanders spurting drivel. he takes on this mind frame three days a month. This mind frame allows him to see the thoughts and feelings of others, he sees through illusions and tricks and somehow likes to listen to peoples heartbeats....

The Enlightened: In this mind frame Sa'vor sits and meditates all day long, he contemplates life and practising his martial art skills, in this mind frame he is at peace and just talks calmly and serenly with Jhon about the meaning of life (42). this mind frame was gained while on Syrania and Daavi, he takes on this mind frame three days a month
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-07-06, 03:24 PM		( in the cotainment cell ( new and improved) Sa'vor comes to, his hands are handcuffed behind his back)

Sa'vor: oh great, im in another cell, on another hellish plane, i wonder where?
( Slip enteres)
Slip: awww, look, the wounded and beaten half-dragon has awakened, i've read you journel, heart breaking, really, its such a sob story

Sa'vor: yet more mind games and torture, save it, the quori where better, lets just cut to my excape ( rises)

Slip: look, its impossible give up

Sa'vor: ( raises his hands behind his back as if to place them over his head, actualy thats exactly what he does, he circulates his hands completely over his head with a horrible SNAP noise, he then flips over Slip and Places the chain of his hand cuffs around her kneck) All right, where am i and who are you?

Slip: ( coughs) The forgotten freedom and i dont exist , renember?

Sa'vor: really, this is probably just another mind game from some fell power, its all an illusion in my mind

Slip: its not, you really are here

Sa'vor: okay then, prove it, what was i doing last time i was here? whats my name ?

Slips: defeating Ullzul and your Names Sa'vor

Sa'vor: (realases the cuffs from her neck) So why the cell?

Slip: they dont trust you

Sa'vor: and you do?

Slip: slightly, though you could probably kill me and escape

Sa'vor: indeed, i could, but to what end? im here now, im safe ... Ish

Slip: from what?

Sa'vor: i... i cant say

Slip: go on, i know you whant to

Sa'vor: NO! i will not, they're names cant be spoken unless you wish them to be here, and i dont think you want that, ever

Slip: Norbaz will be here soo, to give you your food, and then the captain wishes to speak to you, and renember, i dont exist
( she walks out)
Sa'vor:( in his thoughts) So, im back, they'll find me eventualy, all these years of running and i cant stop them, they are the shadows, they are the fear, they come and you can never stop them. ( out loud) Two by two, they march, Two by Two, Cant be stopped...
***
( in the messhall, a debate is going on)
Jarlot:clearly he can be dangerous, but we can't just throw him over board

Micheal: WHY NOT!he's far more dangerous than you all think, I've read some of that journel, he speaks of some kind of trigger, something within him, he has somthing that someone or somthing wants, they followed him for TWENTY YEARS, listen to this
" I hear them coming, never gone, they dwell in the shadows, they cannot be stopped, They want the key, wich i dont have. they dwell in the shadows, they are the shadows alive, i will know them by thier symbol; the closing Dark "

Kithle: clearly somthings after him, but, from what i've read of his journel hes mostly harmless as long as he doesnt revert to one of his five mind frames; what we have christened the Killing Machine.

Lisa: We can't kill him its Immoral

Devon: so's having whatevers hunting him find us as well

Andrea: wait... what was that? ( listens)

Jarlot: what was what?

Andrea: that noise, it wa sa faint clink and then a alarm noise that was.. cut off ...

Ketler: oh god, he's escaped!

Jarlot: then lets find him
****
( a redshirt walks down a shadowy corridor, followed by the shadowy form of slip)

Redshirt: ( holding a crossbow aloft and spinning around constantly in fear) Here dragon, here dragon ( whistels as if to attract a dog) where are you?
( A voice from the cieling)
Sa'vor: here
( Red shirt screams and looks up, fires and misses, Sa'vor drops from the Cieling and silences him by draining his blood)
Slip: you didnt have to do that

Sa'vor: ( whipes his lips) I did, i was hugry, mortal food cant sate me anymore, and Norbaz's food isnt exactly food

Slip: how come you need blood to sate you?

Sa'vor: long story, read about my year in Mabar if you really want to know ( throws down the husk of the Red-shirt)

Slip: so why did you escape? ( comes out from the shadows)

Sa'vor: i dont like people talking about getting rid of me, i've had too much of that already, belive me, once you've heard it over six hundred times, you learn to escape quite quickly

Slip: so your leaving ?

Sa'vor: clearly im not welcome, and anyway, i have to keep moving ( stops and stares huantedly over slips shoulder, he quickly shudders and growls) GET AWAY FROM ME! QUICK!
( slip backs away)
Sa'vor: RUN!
( she runs, Sa'vor drops too his knees and writhes, Jarlots footsteps can be heard as he walks up to Sa'vors Writeing form)
Jarlot: seems you've placed us in a peck of trouble

Sa'vor: (graons) i... know... i'll... leave... soon ( screams) Its not safe for ...you... you must ... LEAVE! NOW! ( Howls)

Jarlot: (Raises his cross bow) don't think so, you'll have to control your self, or i'll have to shoot

Sa'vor: it doesnt work like that... ARRGGHHHH!... its like clock work sometimes... ( stops writheing and Rises, his fangs and claws lengthen)

Jarlot: well, looks like its nap time then ( pulls at the crossbow trigger, a bolt flies towards the Form of Sa'vor stikeing him in the side)

Sa'vor: (roars and attempts to cut Jarlot in two, Staggers and colapeses)
***
( the next day, in Sa'vors cell)
Sa'vor: ( graons, clutches his head, rises, finds himself on a bed in his cell)

Slip: you cant be that dangerous, if the captain hit you with a tranquliser bolt

Sa'vor: do you have some strange Fixation with me or are you just here to irritate me?

Slip: Im here because we're the same, we're both of a half-breed nature, and we're both outcast amungst the crew, me, because i dont exist and you, beacause no-one trusts you

Sa'vor: so, what do you want? some kind of alliance? you want me to help you? is that it?

Slip: (sighs) we could come to a mutualy benifical arangement

Sa'vor: let me guess, you help me escape and i take you with me and we find somekind of new airship and we start our own crew?

Slip: No, i want this airship, we should take over

Sa'vor: Look, im not in the mood for this, im tired, im beaten, i have a horrible stomach ache; i dont think that red-shirt was that benificila to my health

Slip: fine then, How about, i bring you redshirts or blood or prisoners and YOU help me by teaching me some of the magical secrets you've learned

Sa'vor: well, im not going to get blood with the captain watching me so, yes, i'll teach you, but first i'll teach you to shield your mind, kithle's probably going to start listening in, and maybe half of the crew ( groans) i think im going to be sick ( retches) god, what was this redshirt eating!
Charles Phipps

02-07-06, 04:19 PM		4674: We are not Team America, World Police.

I think even Jarlot would disagree with that one.
JakeQuistis

02-07-06, 04:27 PM		*Allen appears out of the shadows near the cell*
Allen: He ate Norbaz's mystery meat special this week. It was quite tasty, if you ignored the fact that it was made out of a combination of the lowest quality possible troll, Jaela, changeling, shifter, cockroach, and dragon meat. And don't worry about me, I'm just going to my secret laboratory to put the finishing touches on my lastest invention.
*Allen then disapears back into the shadows*
Crystalforged

02-07-06, 04:30 PM		Not connected to the plotline above...

Kanatash: So, Kithle I was wondering something.

Kithle: Yes, what is it?

Kanatash: I know you have a thing about Pholly and you have tried to kill the little timebomb more times than I care to count. Personally he doesn't bother me but my incorperality protects me from most of his explosions. However I was wondering why you don't just eat his brain and get it over with. A few crew members would probably be angry but I doubt any action would actually be taken against you.

Kithle: I gain certain traits and abilities from the people whose brain I consume remember? This is Pholly we're talking about.

Kanatash: ah, point taken.
rampant

02-08-06, 01:14 AM		Kithle - I don't like being so much weaker than this most recent form of the dragon. I can't attack directly I need equalizers. I'm immune to magic, so i don't need to worry about that my stealth is still better than his. That leaves his Uknown psionics, mental shield Long list of of immunities, and overwhelming physical power hmmmm. Well lets start with positoxins, holy water, and enough garlic for a batch of 12 alarm d'Norbaz. OOOH create running water spell that'll get him.



Elemental - When Do I get fugging name?

John - How abo-

Elemental - Not you prissy.

Redshirt - AHHHHHHhhHHHHH

Elemental - Chalky, what have I told you about using me as a roasting pit.

Chalky - Don't worry i dried him out before hand he isn't gonna do anything unpleasant.

elemental - yeah we don't repeat of last time it took forever to get rid of the stink.

Red shirt - HEEEEEELLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEE!

John - He is screaming awful loud.

Chalky - as i said nothing unpleasant.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-08-06, 11:57 AM		( in the dead of night, as the crew sleeps and Kithle plots, Sa'vor is currently training slip)

Sa'vor: your not concentrating enough, you have to be calm, let your mind reach out to everything around you, feel their life forces, touch thier minds

Slip: when did you draw that symbol? ( points at a symbol of a Circle with two diagonal lines through it)

Sa'vor: ( Looks at the symbol) i... didn't ..... oh no, this is not good

Slip: what is it?

Sa'vor: its the calling dark, you know how in the deep places of the world the dark is different? well, these symbols represent entities from the plane of shadows, there are millions of them, this is one of the worst.

Slip: the calling dark?

Sa'vor: (pauses and slinences her) shhh, listen
( the voice of a young girl of about three calls out in the distance)
Girl: Sa'vor? Where are you?

Slip: what happens if it finds you?

Sa'vor: ( his face in shadow) we die, we need light, lots of light! ( creats orbs of floating light to banish the shadows) this should stop it from coming

Slip: SHOULD!

Sa'vor: its a 50/50 chance, its either that or die horribly

Girl: (nearer now) Sa'vor? Where are you? Sa'vor?
****
( Dooj sleeps in his bed, he's awoken by a girls voice calling his name)
Girl: Dooj? where are you?

Dooj: ( gets up) how the hell did a girl get onto this ship? ( opens the door to see a little girl standing there)

Girl: Found you!
( Doojs screams fill the night)
****
( kithle sits in his room, Doojs screams echo)
Kithle: what in kyber? i bet that half dragon has somthing to do with this !
( hears the girls voice) that cant be good ...
( exits the room and goes to Sa'vors cell, opens it and enters)
Kithle: im sure your reponsable for this!

Sa'vor: For what?

Kithle: for that voice ! its calling us!

Sa'vor: Oh *********************, this is not good at all, dont follow it what ever you do!

Kithle: why ? its just a little lost girl!

Sa'vor: have you ever heard of places so dark that at night you can hear the very shadows call your name? there are such places, this, is a embodyment, its a entity of pure evil and shadow; The Calling dark, look at the symbol! (points at the Calling dark symbol)

Kithle: its just a black circle with two diagonal lines through it whats so... is it oozing blood?

Sa'vor: Yes! its oozing blood, its hunting us Kithle ! its after us! it cant be stopped! It cant die! it just is! it is forever! it never sleeps!

Kithle: so? we could just run

Sa'vor: thats the problem! i've killed it twice, i've spent twenty years fleeing it and its siblings

Girl: ( Faintly, because shes far away) Marish? Where are you?

Sa'vor: we're so doomed (falls to his knees and begins to sob) we cant stop it , it just keeps coming, calling , calling in the dark, calling my name ....

Kithle: get up! cant you just banish it?

Sa'vor: it keeps calling, just following, walking ... never stops.. the calling dark ....

Kithle: what are we going to do? WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF! Sa'vor! let me in your mind ! Let me see how to stop it!

Sa'vor: (looks blankly at him, theres a sudden rush and Kithles pulled into his mind)
( within savors mind
( Kithle: ( wathching the constand war between the mind factions) Wow

Sa'vor: yes, its pretty amazing

Kithle: so, how can you stop it?

Sa'vor: there is a way... but im not doing it... its far to dangerous

Kithle: what? what is it?

( A voice like pure ice) ME

Kithle: who are you?

Death!

Kithle: your the killing machine arn't you?

Yes

Kithle: so will you?
Phantomcrossing

02-08-06, 04:57 PM		Fear...not something an assassin is supposed to know.
He had turned the corner and saw it standing over Dooj, well what was left of Dooj. It hadn't seen him...but he had seen it. It was something dark, something to which death was the nature of, as breathing was to those that lived.
As an assassin, Norbaz knew death. This was something powerful and old. It was seeking out the other crew members, so he followed it, tried to get ahead of it and warn who he could...but it was obvious he knew he was there...but it wasn't calling out his name yet.

Honestly, it looked like a little girl. On this ship, if you hear a little girl calling your name, you don't ****ing answer the door. Its just common intelligence.

Whatever this thing was, strength of arms would not bring it down from what he had seen...he needed to rally the casters in silence. Uttering his own magics he melted into an amorphous liquid caricature of himself and proceeded into the ship's talking tubes.

As an assassin, Norbaz had always looked into the shadows....now he had seen it look back and he knew...he knew that they were ****ing screwed.

Norbaz: Ketler, wake up damnit, wake up.

Ketler: Huh? What?...Norbaz? Did I pass out in the mess again.

Norbaz: No, something bad is on the ship, lock your door and wait, I'm gonna bring the casters here.

Ketler: Huh? What the hell are you talking about?

Norbaz: Just trust me okay.

Kanatash: That would be wise.

Ketler and Norbaz: Bah!

Kanatash: Sorry, but I was in haste and could not easily announce my presence. There is indeed something on the ship and it has killed many. Norbaz, make haste. I will try and seal this place from it through the will of the perfect madness of Xoriat.

As Norbaz leaves to gather the casters, more screams fill the night.

Norbaz: Scholar, thank the soveirgns it didn't get to you, teleport to ketler's lab now.

Scholar: I am to assume this has to do with the screaming.

Norbaz: Yes.

_____

Norbaz: Mickey, oh good, you're already awake.

Mickey: Yeah, and I've already seen Dooj. This is serious.

____

Norbaz: Okay...I can do this. She's a fellow crewman, I've talked to her before and...I'm just going into her room as a liquid and trying to wake her up to help save everyone from unspeakable horror...okay deep breath.

Andrea opens the door

Andrea: What in Khyber is all the racket about? Its the middle of the night! Why are you supported by a liquid column from a puddle on the floor?

Norbaz: Oh...um, dark, killing thing is loose on the ship. Teleport to Ketler's room, explain there.
JakeQuistis

02-08-06, 06:28 PM		*Allen appears out of the shadows into Ketler's room*
Allen: Who brought the Calling Dark on board? It's disrupting my work. Now let's just throw it out, so I can get some peace around here.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-09-06, 12:31 PM		The Side of Sa'vor known as the Killing machien smiled, so they call me do they? one who is death, one who finds no fear in the dark, Death walks amung the living.

Kithle: will you help us then?

Yes, I wish to kill once more, but once i have killed it, you must force me back into Sa'vors mind, for i will kill you all once free, be afraid, be far more afraid of me than the calling dark !

Kithle: whats the point? Norbaz is gathering the casters, we dont need you

You need me more than ever, this isnt something that can be stopped, it hunt us all down and Sa'vor knows it, I will destroy it, And then you'll have to stop me from killing you! DEATH IS ONLY THE BEGGINING!
( Kithle was forced from Sa'vors mind by a mentle blow that sent him soaring across the room, pulling himeslf to his feet Kithle Gazed in horror, The very shadows pulled away from this creature, He stood encased in a Living vreast-plate, the Runes all over it glowed with black fire, Sa'vors eyes where now pools of Violet flames; within them Kithle saw the battles of thosands of years, He saw the rotting corpes of foes, he saw this figure standing over them bloody scythe raised high!)
Sa'vor: You called ?
( the air around the figure flickered with sparks of Arcane and Psionic might)
Kithle: so.... you'll kill the calling dark?

Sa'vor: you dont kill the calling dark, you just stop it for a while, get your casters ready to banish it, otherwise im going to get torn apart when it comes back

Kithle: ( Vanishes in a puffo of black smoke)

Sa'vor: ( Raises a BLack Carapace clad Hand, a Scythe wreathed in black fire appears in it) I walk again! The reaper is reborn!
***
( in ketlers lab)
Mickey: YOU LET THE VERY REAPER WITHIN HIM OUT!!!

Kithle: sa'vor was cowering on the floor, and anyway, he needs us to banish it soon, that way it cant reform, oh and we have to disable him once he's killed it

Scolar: Affirmitive!
***
Calling Dark: Sa'vor? Where are you?

Sa'vor: ( a swarm of undead bats flow from the vents and reform into Sa'vor)

Calling Dark: Found you! ( raises a hand and blasts with a burst of shadow)
( Sa'vor turns to a cloud of sand, the blast goes strait through, Sa'vor re-forms and strikes and the girl with his scythe, she de-matirialises as a shadow)
Calling dark: you no play nice!

Sa'vor: ( Slashes with the sythe catching the girl with the end of the blade, she blasts him into the wall with another shadowy blast) I feel no Pain! I hath No Fear!

Calling dark: You no fear? ( moves her head to one side, then de-materialises and reappears behind him, blasting him again and striking with her clawed hand)
( Sa'vor spins and blasts her with a barrage of Psionic energy, she shields with a wall of shadowy energy, a ring of white light starts to form around her)
Sa'vor: ( strikes her with a fireball composed of violet flame, pins her to the wall and locks his fangs into her neck, she writhes and screams, the Girl Dematerialises, appears floating in the air as a bloody symbol wreathed in shadows, the circle of banishement flashes and the symbol is gone)

Sa'vor: ( throws his head back and roars a battle cry) DEATH IS JUST THE BEGGINING !

Jarlot: NOW! ( the casters appear from the shadows a hit Sa'vor with wave after wave of spells, The dust clears. Sa'vor satnds in a ring of damage, completely unscratched, Jarlot Takes aim and hits him with a tranq bolt)

Sa'vor: ( rocks and falls to his knees, begins to rise, A second bolt hits him, Rises to his feet, another wave of spells hit this time causing some damage, third bolt hits him in the neck and he falls unconsious)
***
( in sa'vors cell, He awakes, the symbol of the calling dark has been burnt away)
Sa'vor: ( groans and sits up)

Jarlot: ( from outside) You've caused us a lot of trouble, though you have saved out lives, im wondering, how does on so powerful fear the dark?

Sa'vor: i spent a lot of time in Mabar and The Plane of Shadows, its not somthing one removes from his psyke, i appolisgise for the calling dark, i thought it would be a few weeks untill we encountered it

Jarlot: indeed, so, how did you become a vampire?

Sa'vor: I WAS a vampire, Naz'roths Power over the undead still reisdes within me, he had vampiric powers, while on Mabar, i awakened them and they evolved, to beyond that of a normal vampire, Im alive and living, but im also dead, my two hearts beat but i create no heat.

Jarlot: Are you going to cause this ship anymore trouble?

Sa'vor: Do you mean will I personly cause trouble? no i wont, But the Dark will, they'll hunt me down and tear out the knowledge i hold, and i cant stop them. i'd also prefer you keep me in this cell, its cosier than the room i had at first, though it wont be able to stop the Killing Machein or the lesser mind set known as the reaper, who stems from the killing machien.

Jarlot: well, i leave you here

Sa'vor: of course, well, i better get some sleep
rampant

02-09-06, 05:11 PM		Kithle - ENOUGH WITH THE NEAR DIETIES ON THIS SHIP!!! Allen, Ketler, Andrea, MIckey, Smig, Hoybeee, Anyone with anything that can possibly be used to enhance a weapon into the labs we are making ONE HELL OF A BOOM STICK THIS TIME.
By the way we will need redshirts bound and gagged plz. CHalky if you would be so kind.

Chalky - Only if i get to paint it.

Kithle - Deal
Phantomcrossing

02-09-06, 07:17 PM		Norbaz, Michael, and Kilthe stand amongst the gathered dead and begin sorting. Mickey stands on the side with some diamonds ready for the inevitalbe.

Michael: Oh...I think this one is Dooj...well, at least his arm.

Mickey: Well lets see then. (Casts res* and a red shirt rises)

Red shirt: huh? What? I'm alive. Glorious day I'm alive! I'm al- urk!?

Norbaz: Damn it. This is really getting tiring. (hucks read shirt's corpse over the edge)
rampant

02-09-06, 10:45 PM		Kithle - Chalky can sort he knows what everyone tastes like. Now back to the project, Anyone not currently helping with this venture can help chalky clean.

We will require

One honker of a Dragonshard in all three flavors.

Ollian's left arm

One syberis mark of each house

the hearts of one great wyrm of each dragon species capable of attaining such status

some of the LoB's blades (from his body) note Chance to use the cooking joke, Check the first thousand or so

The heads of a frost giant jarl, A fire giant priest, a storm giant sorcerer, and a death giant paladin (yes I'm serious)

A mithril and adamantine golem, a drakebone golem

The core of a Psi-forged Sonokineticest

Another Kyhber shard with a Primordial Omnielemental bound to it

A Were-dire wolf's hide

The brains of at least 12 of the 20 most powerful Quori from the dreaming dark

a full delkyaer LIve or freshly dead and preserved

A fire lit by the silver flame

a gift from the traveler

and the tounges of a radiant idol and a dragon below favored soul

a warlock's ring finger
(where's Sa'vor)

an umbragen's palm

And Finally a true exemplar of mortal spirit who lost their left arm fighting someone they loved, must be willing
No one on this ship currently qualifies, and its not just the left arm thing
this one need to be twice as sane as anyone on this Flying Funny Farm so we need to check the really deep asylums that aren't supposed to exist
you know like the one kicked me out for being incurable

the more creativity that goes into the acquisitions the better
Crystalforged

02-09-06, 10:47 PM		EDIT: Oh dang. Rampant posted on the same thing while I was typing.



Kanatash floats into Kelter's lab where the casters are working on Kithle's boomstick.

Kanatash: You know I commend the effort but I think you are going the wrong way on this.

Kelter: What do you mean? When this thing is done it should have the power to vaporize a small moon.

Kanatash: Yes and while that will no doubt be useful it there is still the problem of THE CREATURE RETURNING TO LIFE AND COMING AGAIN NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU KILL IT.

Andrea: Thats a good point. The thing is worse than liches that way but what are we supposed to do about it? Like you said there is no way to kill it permanently.

Kanatash: By the deranged lords you mortals always seem to forget your history. Eberron has a long history of dealing with forces it cannot defeat. The Rajas for example have the same problem, nigh unkillable and reviving when slain. Anyone remember how they were dealt with?

Kelter: Of course! If we can bind the creature we won't have to worry about it coming after us ever again.

Allen: Yes but we will need a Kyber dragonshard and considering the power of the creature we will need one of epic size. That won't be easy to obtain or cheap either.

Kanatash: Kyber shards? Oh I can get you anything under ten foot long for a song.

Everyone: :mymy:

Kanatash: What? Think, kyber shards come from kyber and that place is controled by two groups, the demon-spawn of Kyber and the aberrant minions of the Delkyr. Anyone remeber who I work for again?

Kelter: (looking at Allen) Ok, a shard about six foot long should do it.

Kanatash: Well for that I should need about half a dozen redshirts and ten minutes.

Andrea: Well then, (calling out) Chalky we need six more redshirts!

Chalky: (calling back) Coming right up!

Kanatash teleports out with the redshirts and a few minutes latter returns with a massive dragonshard and no redshirts.

Kelter: Um, I'm not sure I want to know but what happened to the redshirts?

Kanatash: Well thats the thing about mind flayers. They keep a large enough breeding stock to feed their population but they still prefer it when they can get free range meals.

Kelter: Yep, I'm sorry I asked.

Allen: Come on lets hook up the dragonshard to the bookstick so that it will suck the creature's soul in when we blast the :censored: out of it.

Kanatash: Well if you need any more dragonshards just let me know and have some redshirts ready.
JakeQuistis

02-09-06, 11:10 PM		-Allen walks into the room where they are working on the boomstick-
Allen: Well, I do have a khyber shard with a Primordial Omnielemental in my possession... Although it's currently being used to power my greatest project ever! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! *cough cough* Sorry about that, I get carried away sometimes. And yes, it was incredibly hard to find it and subdue it. It took me several hundred years and around fifty six deaths to finally get it to stay within the shard.
Charles Phipps

02-09-06, 11:45 PM		Jarlot meanwhile in his Captain's chambers dealt with nightmarish metallic tendrils that assaulted him.

Jarlot: Well slip, my plan is working perfectly.

Slip: Huh?

Jarlot: This is all part of an effort to drive Kanatash sane.

Slip: YOU did this?

Jarlot: No actually, my plan is that I've started replacing his coffee with decaf. I've started playing easy listening tunes set to trigger every time he enters a room. I've also had all of his clothes dyed attractive and pleasant colors. Replaced his video game collection from Silent Hill to Call of Cthulhu with My Little Pony and Kingdom Hearts. I've also summoned rival demons so horrifying that even he'll think twice about trying to drive us crazy...er.

Pikachu: Pika!

Kirby: Kirby!

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Slip:....you really are a sadist.

Jarlot: In any case, THIS damn thing is overshadowing my plans.

Slip: There's not much you can do Captain.

Jarlot: Watch me.

*sounds of a powering up chainsaw*

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz

Horror from Beyond: GRARRBBABNURRRGGGGGGETTTTTTTttttttt!

Jarlot: You want some? WHO WANTS SOME!

*sounds of shotgun blasts*

Slip: Captain, I don't think beating it with your forehead will help.

Jarlot: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Slip: This reminds me of the time he killed the beholder with his teeth.
rampant

02-10-06, 12:12 AM		Kithle - Do not underestimate my intellect or i will enchant my tendrils with ghost touch and show you precisely what that first abberation hunter that tried to sneak up on me went through. This Masterpiece is not only able to bind the souls of any immortals cuaght in its influence but will degrade those souls to nothing to power and and increase itself. Why do you think I asked for so many really wacko ingredients, Most importantly we need someone with the will and drive to slaughter creatures we consider unkillabe or immortal thus the requested Exemplar. Though it migh be a good idea to have some binding stones on hand until the storage capacity starts to increase. If the gods were to actually manifest themselves even as an avatars this Weapon would be able to not only trap the full diety but eventually devour it not so much as leaving an astral husk.

Allen - H-h-how d-do y-y-y-you kn-n-now h-how t-t-o M-make th-this??

Kithle - Well its based off an idea squishy gave me. See where he comes from Ithilids are from the far future near the end of time, and they are trying to maintain a timeline that leads to their eventual dominion. One of the things that wasn't supposed to happen but did, the appearance of a warrior with a strange arm graft that could permently destroy even Uber-dieties and the power of fate itself.

Ketler - But how did he know how to build it?

Kithle - He didn't he knew what it could do and I reverse engineered it sort of.

Andrea - "Sort of "!?! Thats not like you kithle.

Kithle - It may have been the arm or the warrior, but the recipe should work as long as we have someone whith the proper qualifications using the accursed thing.

Sa'vor - (holding his finger stump) Was it realy necessary to screw with the stump so couldn't regrow.

Kithle - Yes. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

Mickey - and using pholly as a sacrifice in every batch of redshirts?

Kithle - I'll admit thats just for fun. So is quenching the forged components in sa'vors bodily fluids.

kantash - You really are bastard.

Kithle - Thank you, now which unfortunate saps get the dragons? Ohh also kantash before you leave again.

Kantash - I'm not going after the drakes for you?

Kithle - Not that, Umm I need you to take this recipe to a group of Flayers under the frostfell. Tell them its a cure for the saphire fever i infecter their elder brain with.

Kantash - Wait that was you?

Kithle - Hehe yeah (looking nervous). Anyways tell them they need to give you the really big syberis they found during a nasty ringfall a coulpe hundred years ago. Its about seven feet long and narrower than the Kyber you brought in.

Kantash - why me?

Kithle - You're on good terms with the flayers right? well lets just say the saphire fever isn't the only reason they hate me.

(Everyone stares)

Kithle - alright alright, I lead a slave uprising just to steal the shard then when that backfired i doused the brain to cause a distraction and ran for it.
Charles Phipps

02-10-06, 12:53 AM		Jarlot: Whew....I've finally found the summoning circle for this thing. Slip, do you have the enchantment that will send it back where it came from?

Slip: Yessir.

Jarlot: Good. Now...

*CRACK BOOM*

A figure looking like a much better kept and dressed Captain Jarlot then appeared wearing a silvery suit of clothing and wearing a tricorder at his side.

Jarlot the 19th: Good evening fellow sapient and ancestor. I am your distant descendent. I have come here from the far off 20th century to warn you not to use this summoning circle to bring forth hordes of demons from Xoriat.

Jarlot: Why would I want to do that!?

Jarlot the 19th: Well in our timeline, you do and result in thousands of deaths that lead to a cataclysmic series of events, plagues, and madness that result in our family taking command of the universe and ruling it in a brutal tyranny. I as your sole remaining good aligned descendent wish to prevent this.

Jarlot: Errr...okay.

Jarlot the 19th: Thank you, because of this the Evil Pirate Empire will be prevented from existing. Beam me up Spocky.

*He vanished in a particle stream*

Slip: we're going to summon a lot more evils aren't we?

Jarlot: HELL yes!
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-10-06, 11:56 AM		( Sa'vor stands in his cell looking at the stump of his ring finger)
Sa'vor: well.... taht was intresting, hmmmm, if i can guess Kithles plan right he's somehow going to gain supreme power from this and crush me, That doesnt sound too good to me

Slip: I cant be as bad as you taking over

Sa'vor: true enough, but slaying my draconic ancestors is slightly irritating me, Perhaps i should partake of the ritual of Shadow

Slip: and that is?

Sa'vor: Trust me, if Kithles going to use this graft to gain power beyond the gods we're going to have to call somthing bigger, somthing that lies within my mind this very moment

Slip: and that is?

Sa'vor: Shhh, i need some time to bring all my grafts and enhanced body parts to full opporation. ( a faint arua of evil forms around Sa'vor) Now i must Meditate on my time in the planes, if you wish to watch, place your hands on my temples. ( Slip does so)

( Theres a rush of power and Slip stands in Sa'vors Mental landscape, Around her the floor is covered with black roses, the grass is blackened and dead, skeletal trees stand in a forest about her, Sa'vor matierialises from no where)

Sa'vor: Welcome to my mind, follow me, we must collect all my Mind sets into one, First we shall defeat the conduit ( He sets off into the woods, the trees gradualy change to form towers of crystal and pulsing spheres of power, in a clearing stands Sa'vor dressed in grey)

The Conduit: I knew you would come

Sa'vor: Indeed, you must be assimilated, i have put up with my minds insanity long enough! ( grabs The conduit and proceeds to drain his blood, he finishes quickly and throws down the empty husk, A pedistal appears before Sa'vor upon it is a Gauntlet like Naz'roths old one, Sa'vor places it on his right hand instantly a crackeling bolt of crimson energy flows up his arm, Sa'vor flexes his fingers)

Slip: Is it done?

Sa'vor: Not even close
( Next the stood before A Portion named the Necromancer)

The Necromancer: I shall not join you, my minions arise!
( He raises his hands and twelve vampires rise up from the dirt, Slip blastes them down with one Energy bolt, Just then Sa'vor strikes with a ranged blood drain; a stream of crimson blood is pulled from the necromancers neck, he slumps on the floor)
Sa'vor: ( a second Gauntlet matierialises along with a ring with a sapphire in it) Ah, now we fight the elementalist .

( In the Chamber of the elementalist Stands a Tower of rageing flame, ice, Wind, Acid, lightning, earth and Force)
The elementalist: I hear of your Plight My lord, i yeild ( he bows his flaming head, Sa'vor Plunges his hand into the Elementals Chest)

( Four hours later)
( Slip leaves Sa'vors mind as the task is done, Sa'vor has absorbed the Killing Machein and nows stands before her, he's dressed in armour designed like Naz'roths Gauntlet, Four rings Forged from Platinum and a Strange black metal of interwoven bands glow on his fingers; one of emerald, One of Sapphire, One of Ruby, One of Diamond. A Torque of Platinum strenghtend magical with runes that glow Violet ending with Two glowing Rubies, He wears a Darkweave belt with Amythysts placed at points, His armoured boots are wreathed in a Constant layer of elemental power, His Circlet has one large Ruby at the forehead and is constructed much like the rings. his cloak flows like the shadows themselves, its frayed form flutters permenatly in a ethereal breeze, Runes of black had appeared in bands all over Sa'vors skin, Sa'vors eyes glowed Violet)

Slip: Sa'vor? Has it worked?

Sa'vor: Yes

Slip: Can you stop the calling dark and if you have to Kithle?

Sa'vor: Yes

Slip: Do you know the secret ?

Sa'vor: yes

Slip: can you teach me it?

Sa'vor: No, it cannot be taught, only learned, you must seek it yourself

Slip: how did the Illithids fall?

Sa'vor: through greed, and overusing the Secret of Shadow
( Sa'vor turns his head and The Shadows flee before his gaze)
Sa'vor: So Returns the Calling dark, As its most powerful incarnation
( a womans voice calls out in a whisper)
Calling Dark: Sa'vor? seek me, Fight me, your death shall teach me the secret
( Sa'vor strides out of the room, Slip sighs)
Slip: i better go to Jarlot to him tell to be prepared for a power struggle
***
Norbaz: ( Matreailises before Sa'vor) So, what do you think Kithle will do to the Calling dark?

Sa'vor: he will kill it and absorbe its powers, he will become the calling dark, he will kill thosands, and then he will vanish untill he is summoned once more, so is the curse of the calling dark

Norbaz: when this is finished will you remain?

Sa'vor: i will teach she who does not exist what i know and then i will remain to safe gaurd our good captain jarlot and make sure he does not change from his course of action

Norbaz: so ? do you want some of my chilli?

Sa'vor: (Thinks for a moment) you know, i think i do
***
Endless_Helix

02-10-06, 12:49 PM		John: Ummm... Jarlot?

Jarlot: Quiet you little tree-hugger, I'm trying to build my empire in the future!

John: That probably isn't a good idea.

Jarlot: What? Why? I want to be the ruler of the world!

John: I know, but the way that you're doing it is unconsionable.

Jarlot: So? What do I care? You're just a Keel! You can be replaced! Easily replaced I might add... KETLER! Stop looking at the Jaela mags and get over here!

John: Not if there isn't anything left...

Jarlot: What are you talking about?

John: Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke. Kaboom.

Jarlot: No. No. No! NOOOOO!

John: In the event that you summon an army of demons to take over the world, I will be forced to nuke the ship, destroying everyone, including myself.

Jarlot: Curses! Foiled again!

John: Besides, the last time you tried summoning lots of things it didn't work so well for you... although we did get a years worth of rations out of them, I guess. You'll probably get crabs again.

Jarlot: Hey! Crabs are dangerous!

John: Yeah, you would know... Promiscuity has it's downsides.

Jarlot: Wait a second, aren't you against killing sentients or whatever?

John: Yup, but you have the potential to unite the world in peace and prosperity if you don't do this, so it's worth the risk.

Jarlot: HA! You're bluffing! I'll do it anyway! I'll just have ketler put a globe of invulnerability on me! *maniacal laughter!*

John: Not really, but if you go my way, you can get drunk, not have hangovers, be with the most beautiful and buxom women, and live in such luxury that you'll never have to move two steps again. What do you say?
rampant

02-10-06, 03:32 PM		Kithle - Why does everyone assume i want to wear this monstrosity my self? One I don't qualify. Two do you realize what wearing this thing is going to do the poor sap? The poor creature will go from being the sanest of us to being crazier than half the crew combined, and not in a fun way. Three I still have both arms and no current ties of love. Four once this thing is made and grafted to the poor schmuck I ain't touching it ever again. Five that shadow ritual won't save you if you manage to **** off the wielder anyway.
You need to remember I can still read The minds of those around you Drempire (dragon/demon/vampire).
Now seriously How are we gonna get ollian's arm Even I'm not going up against that tree.
Charles Phipps

02-10-06, 04:59 PM		Jarlot: Let me think about that...

*pause*

Jarlot: I've decided.

*pours Sovereign Glue over the keel*

Jarlot: Byyxxiksww yayaneluyb

*splashes blood on seal*

Suiahagbyyyjnx

...Now for the last bit of the spell. I have to sacrifice myself then descend to Hell and cast this spell to usurp the power of the Keeper and thus reign forever and ever over all eternity.

Andrea: Hey, Jarlot, have you seen my copy of the Necronomicron De Mortis?

Jarlot: Yeah, I've got it over here. I'm using it to become an avatar of Ultimate EvilTM to Take over the WorldTM.

Andrea: Oh...that spell. The joke.

Jarlot: Wait, what?

Andrea: Oh come on, you don't think that if we actually had a spell like that we wouldn't have used it already?

Jarlot: You mean it doesn't work?

Andrea: Well you know the last part where you kill yourself....

Jarlot: Yeah?

Andrea: Remember how Darth Vader was redeemed in Return of the Jedi for one final good act that sacrificed himself?

Jarlot: I remember getting those DVDs from Elminster's corpse and watching them yeah.

Andrea: Well, that's pretty universally an automatic ticket to the Heaven of the Sovereign Hosts. They're big on glorious sacrifices.

Jarlot: I'm not following you.

Andrea: Well, the person who does this spell has to be utterly and titanically evil right?

Jarlot: Obviously. The only reason I can fill the schoolgirl blood necessary is the sheer volume of kosher Jaela that we need to prepare for Dooj. He's a Druid you know.

Andrea: Funny, he doesn't look Druish.

Jarlot: But what does this have to do with my Darkest of Darkest Plots?

Andrea: Well the final part of the spell is killing yourself to descend to Hell.

Jarlot: Yess.....

Andrea: Well that makes your final act being killing one of the most evil beings in the world and sacrificing your life to do so. Automatic ticket to Heaven....

Jarlot: .....OH COME ON!

Andrea: I didn't make up the rules.

Jarlot: ......so, John boy, that offer still open?
urial angel of death

02-10-06, 06:02 PM		Squishy: i'm not sure you all knowhow that graft works. When activated true it is a powerful weapon, but it's really just a weak laser. It's true capability and the reason it wasn't supposed to happen in the mindflayer's timeline is that when it is activated any mindflayers or mindflayerkin within ten miles experiences all of the suffering that they have caused to their victims over their intire lives. All of this pain causes most mindflayers to go comatose and in extreme cases death from system shock.
Tabbitha: okay but why are you telling me this shouldn't you be warning Kithle.
Squishy: Nah
rampant

02-10-06, 08:56 PM		Kithle - Godsdammit will you people learn that I can read your dusty deranged little minds!!! Your thinking of the fracking right arm. The left arm you twit was the god killer. And no one is going to tell me or anyone else otherwise unless they wanna end up next to Pholly and Sa'vor as bodily fluid donors.
Now come on put that wonderful dementia to work people I'm offereing the oppurtunity to cause mayhem on a scale unknown to history. Lets round up those ingedients.

Think of this even if the bloody thing doesn't work we can have more fun than Doldornmas and redshirt pitfighting combined putting it together. Then we can watch as a (relatively) decent person descends to into unknowable madness. Whos up for some kicks?
urial angel of death

02-10-06, 09:17 PM		Squishy : then i put the anti-mindflayer one in the... :eek: Tabbatha keep up everything while I'm gone. I my be in a lot of trouble.<gets on slave giant wasp and flys away.>
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-11-06, 01:07 PM		( Sa'vor sits eating chilli with Kithle opposit him in the mess hall)
Sa'vor: so let me get this strait, you creating one of the ultimate super weapons ... but you have no personal gain from it? aside from the slaying of godly creatures

Kithle: there is some gain, the pride of creating a weapon of mass destruction

Sa'vor: hmmmm, you still need olians arm?

Kithle: yes, none of these foolish crew members are stupid enough to try and allen doesnt like living trees; the whole stake vampire thing

Sa'vor: all right, I'll get you that arm, i'll even help complete this artifact your making

Kithle: Why what will you gain from this?

Sa'vor:Pride, and the satisfaction of helping construct one of the evilist things in existance and i would like some form of payment

Kithle: wich would be?

Sa'vor: I'll need some people to go with me to the Tombs of Qulithkask in Xendric, these unmapped tomes have links to almost every plane.within is the knowledge of the Gaints, the greatest wizards, Clerics, Psions and Dragons stored thier knowledge within those vaults, spells time has forgotten, Items of untold power and a map of argonesson, with wich we will find a dragon graveyard and find the bones of Bones of my Ancestor Grusshhilixia the seer, his left eye is the anchient eye of the prophecy we can use it to tell portions of the Draconic prophecy.

Kithle: i can see the advantage there... but why do you need this?

Sa'vor: Not me, I need nothing from this... exept maybe some of the knowledge within the vaults, the eye will be able to Show you Kithle how the Illithids where wiped out and how you can stop it happening, it will also grant you the ability to see where you and Jarlot fit in within the prohecy. Think of it Kithle, you can rebuild the Illithid empire, you can rule over it as Emporer, you can use the item your creating to inslave all

Kithle:it does have merit however, You are probably betraying me, how does Jarlot fit into this? is he the one who stops the illithids ?

Sa'vor: i do not know, he has some part to play in this, maybe he realases one of Naz'roths old friends or maybe he has the potential to save the universe, i dont know, i have not seen the Prophecy in entireaty, but the eye will show us where and when the symbols appear

Kithle: How do you fit in to this Prophecy?

Sa'vor: i am the guide, i put things im motion ( eats more chilli) this is actualy good ( rises) and now im going to hunt some redshirts ( leaves)

Kithle: he's planning to betray me somehow im sure, though i like the sound of Emporer Kithle, lord of Madness
***
( Kantash floats outside listening in)
Kantash: (leaves and floats through the walls to his room, he rasies his tatooed palm and speaks into it) Masters, everything is set in motion to the one Named Kithle raising the illithid empire; what are your commands ?
( purple blood flows out of the eye and forms these words)
Our Faithful servant; Influence thier actions, guide them from the shadows, keep the illithid empire from failing before it begins. We have sent you Sa'vor as our force to infulence them, Sa'vor shall be the guide, follow him and bask in the radience of the tombs might, we shall relay new commands to you soon

Kantash: As you will my lords
***
( Dooj who has recently been raised now sits cowering in the medbay, his recent experiences have slightly damaged his mind.... Well, what was left of it)
Micky: he's been like this ever since we raised him

Micheal: Such a shame, we where going to torment the redshirts later

Micky: yes, you guys seem to really like doing that, i get so many horribly disfigured redshirts these days, most of them die of course... well all but that :censored: Pholly

Devon: you know Pholly said he might actualy suceede this ( Ship is shaken by a monumentus explosion, ship tilts to one side, smoke billows into the room, ship re rights itself) ... time
( Pholly pokes his head into the room)
Pholly: it wasnt me ! Nobaz's Chillie has somehow become sentient and escaped into the pipes, it ate one of the spare Alchemist nukes, ITS STILL ALIVE! oh and Norbaz said we're having Mystery Meat for Lunch; Jarlot says its mandatory that its eaten ( phollys footsteps are heard running down the corridor followed by a scream and Pholly yelling)
OH KYBER ITS COMING FROM THE WALLS! THE WALLS!

Micky: i dont know whats worse on this ship: the explosions; The plotting and sceming; The Dark entities;Norbaz's Cooking or Devons Poetry recitals

Micheal: we might as well help the little runt, shame, i was going to go wenching tonight

Dooj: ( from the corner) Wenches!? ( leaps to his feet) Where?

Micky: oh wow, he's cured ( drinks some Vodka/Cure light wounds)
( Phollys foot steps running in the opposit direction)
Pholly: LEG IT!
***
( In the Bridge)
Jarlot: ( through the speaking tube) This is a Cyan alert people, all found not doing their duty will be flogged and used as Phollys lab assistants for the next two weeks

Slip: isnt Cyan alert the one for Attacks of Demons?

Jarlot: Well, thats what the brochour says but actauly its for anything that we cant find in the Monster Manuel 1, 2 or 3

Slip: so whats emerald alert?

Jarlot:Courtesans nearby

Slip: thats what it is?

Jarlot: that or a brothel

Slip: just when i thought you people couldnt get crazier
***
(Meanwhile the crew is fighting the Chilli monster... well, the crew that are afraid of floggins ... wich is the redshirts and pholly, the others watch from afar)
Lisa: shoudn't we be helping?

Marish: i just did my nails and anyway, no one listens to the captain... well most of them only listen when theres a emerald alert

Lisa: we really are the scum of eberron arnt we

Andrea: ( winces as another redshirts engulfed) we most definatly are

Ketler: maybe we can reason with it?

Dooj: the chilli?
(Phollys hurled infront of them)
Pholly: a little help?
( the crew wince as a psuelepod grabs his leg and draws pholly back into the fray, his peircing screams make them all turn away)
Hoybee: i have an idea!

Sa'vor: this would be?

Hoybee: well....errrr.... its gone now, t'was a good un though!

Devon: we could ... insult it!

Kantash: how ?

Kithle: well, theres nothing more insulting than Devons poetry, that can kill anything...
( Allen walks up to the speaker tube)
Allen: Would all crew members use thier standard issue earplugs now please, This is an emergancy ( puts his earplugs in his ears)
( Devon walks up to the creature and begins to read, it looks at him as each stanza unfolds, by the second line it begins to gurgle and waver, by the fith line it trembles and shakes and then by the sixth line.... it has exploded in a shower of burning hot chilli)
( the crew is now drenced in chilli, they begin to cheer and whoop)
Norbaz:Dont celebrate yet, theres another six down in the cargo bay
Boirin son of Naerin

02-12-06, 02:52 AM		4673. Ravers are NOT reavers!
4674. No King Boranel did not start the bull moose party.
4675. Even if he does want to punch the Lord of Blades in the face.
4676. The purple dreamlily isn't any better.
4677. Neither is the purple catnip.
4678. It is wrong to tell the Shifter it is.
4679. The fine for dreamlily in Thrane is not 30gp.
4680. Especially in flame keep.
4681. We will avoid the law-free zone of Sharn at all costs.
4682. Even if the pizza is better there.
4683. Shut up about your ******* katana.
Endless_Helix

02-12-06, 09:42 AM		John: Jarlot, you probably should realize that was actually a bluff. I can't shoot Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke at the ship. You made sure that Ketler added that little stipend in when he made me. I believe it was because you didn't want Lisa to try to hold the ship hostage with the nuke...

You could try conquering Khorvaire with peace and love, but I can't guarantee you'll get your empire if you do. You'll probably get your own religion though.

Jarlot: My life sucks.

Allen: Tell me about it.
Rei32491

02-12-06, 01:10 PM		Narrator: You may all wonder where V is during all this - he is infact in his cabin, completely WASTED

V:whoa, my hands are huge, they can touch anything then themselfs, (touches hands together) whoa
urial angel of death

02-12-06, 01:20 PM		(random redshirt runs up to the crew holding a note)
(note shows squishy in hand-cuffs)
Andrea: (reading note aloud) you must send 50,000,000gp in bail to free this creature. Send in an unmarked envloped to Bluespur.
Nobaz: why would we want to free him?
Tabbitha: guys he took all of our bank cards..... and he is the only one with the key to the booze money vault!!!!!
(Micheal, Doog, and half of the other crew have fallen over due to massive heart attack)
rampant

02-12-06, 03:42 PM		Kithle - Dammit, its one sidetrack after another ain't it. Well first thing first, Chalky eat the narrator.

Chalky - Finally a snack.

Narrator - NOT AGAIN!!!

Kithle - Dooj, Micheal find V and take the a skiff to save squishy bring along disaster as your magical back up. Oh and that putzy illusionist who thinks he the reincarnation of the Raksasha Primarch he's been hiding in the hold since the bank job.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-12-06, 04:25 PM		( Down in the hold, the screams of battle can be heard along side the ferocious battle crys and manical laughter, magical attacks flash to and fro incenerationg any redshirt who cant run fast enough. Devon is currently engulfed by the biggest chilli monster; it seems that this one likes the taste of bad poets)

Chilli monster: *GURGLE* *SQUELCH*

Pholly: (Clutching his face) MY EYES ITS IN MY EYES!
( Dooj grabs pholly around the waist and pulls him behind a crate, then he picks up vera and charges back into combat screaming somthing about the first to kill this thing and Wenches)
Micheal: ( to lisa) hey, if we make it through this.. you want to go drinking sometime?

Lisa: Not if you where the last man on eberron

Hoybe: ( Attempts to cast ray of frost but instead... a maximised fireball that knocks the crew off their feet) Damn, i was sure that one was right!
(Dooj is knocked off his feet by a pseudopod and is sent soaring into the ranks of the spell casters and ranged combatants; he lands on bolt tooth tony)
Dooj: Thanks for the soft landing

Bolt tooth tony: ( graons) dont y'all mention it

Jarlot: ( over the speaker tubes) If you dont start fighting i'll find someone who will! Oh and if you dont get the key to the booze money i'll keel haul the lot of you!

Micky: its been ages since we got keel hauled, why did he start now?

Jarlot: Oh and Lucky needs some more asprins
( Andrea blasts the speaker tube and continues sending her zombie minions ( recently raised from Redshirts) into the fray)

Norbaz: ( Beats a seconf chilli creature that was sneaking up behind them with his cold iron frying pan) Where the hells Sa'vor?

Kithle: (sends a barrage of psionic energy at a third chilli causing it to retreat back into the pipes) i dont know, probably hiding from chilli monsters
( V appears in a puff of smole behind norbaz)
V: Actualy he's on the second cargo tier with me, Parden, Jam, she who does not exist, Lucky, The Old woman, Thrincold and Jarlot. thier curently fighting off the forth, fith and sixth chilli creatures, though they've ran out of redshirts to use as human shields and chilli treats

Ketler: (from behind a crate) I'll be right on that, though i have a new invention that might help destroy the chilli monsters ( rempoves an egg wisk from his pocket)

Jhonny: That Egg thinhy! ( drools more while standing in corner facing wall)

Kithle: Another shining example to my species, how great
( Squinty blows up Chilli one by accident, he was trying to blow a hole in the wall so he could escape)
Devon: ( Falls infront of them) OW OW OW OW OW ! CHILLI BURN SO MUCH!
***
( currently in cargo bay two)
Jarlot: arrrrgghhhh! ( cleaves Pseudopod in half) Im getting the feeling ( Accidently removes redshirts head) That i need more booze! where my beer!

Lucky: Somewhere over there! ( points at Area where two chilli mosters are combining, indeed there are two whole Kegs of beer there)

V: (reappears in a puff of smoke with allen right behind him) Reinforcements!

Sa'vor: exelent! now the chilli has more choice! ( hacks through a Chilli, it reforms)

V: ( Hurls a few alchemist shocks into the fray) you make this sound like a meal

Sa'vor: Yes it is, its a :censored: happy meal for monsters ( casts a few fireballs followed by a eldritch blast)

Old dwarven woman: ( hits Sa'vor round the head with stick) Launguage young man!
( the sounds of battle hult and the chilli stops moving)
Chilli: * Gurrgle* * Gurrgle* * Horribly chemical noise*

Allen: thats not good...

BOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
( chilli rains down on everyone)
Jarlot: Finaly, now, im feeling like going to sharn and starting a emrald alert
Solmund

02-12-06, 05:33 PM		587. Time Machines cannot be built in Eberron.
I'd like to argue against that....
Kresalak

02-12-06, 07:58 PM		I'd like to argue against that....
I think it's more saying "You are not allowed to build time machines in Eberron."
rampant

02-12-06, 08:11 PM		Chalky - The captain says i get to eat anyone who tries to violate 587.
volrathxp

02-13-06, 02:12 PM		4684. The warforged is NOT a scratching post. Stop telling this to the shifter.
4685. Never let the warforged repair the dwarf's armor. He may end up tightening his nuts.
4686. It is definitely wrong to tell the warforged to do this.
4687. There shall be no stops at Al's Furniture Emporium.
4689. This rule applies to every city that has an Al's.
4690. Especially Flamekeep.
4691. The artificer cannot make you a sword of "Teleport"
4692. Stop asking him.
4693. Shooting a dragon in the ass is not an effective battle strategy. Standing directly behind it while doing so is just plain suicidal.
4694. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
4695. At which point you will be keelhauled.
4696. Twice.
4697. The captain is always right.
4698. No you may not disprove this.
4699. I don't care if he was drunk that one time.
4700. The ship's mage can only cast Shivering Touch so many times per day, so stop asking him to cast it on Jaela over and over.
4701. No making fun of the Goliath. He is much bigger than you and can probably pick you up and toss you overboard.
4702. Same goes for Erk, the dumb but loveable minotaur barbarian.
4703. Overuse of the feather token of tree is expressly forbidden.
4704. Any attempt to override this rule will result in you being keelhauled by the tree.
4705. Not all glidewings are named Swoop, just two of them.
rampant

02-13-06, 06:38 PM		4706. It is wrong to tell chalky the warforged is a scratching post.
4706. The mast is most certainly not a scratching post.
4708. It is wrong to tell people this.
4709. I don't care if thats what the elephant was using it for when we found it.
4710. Wait second why do we have a mast? this is a frigging airship.
Charles Phipps

02-13-06, 07:23 PM		4711. Marish does not have a cuter, nonslutty, sister named Fiona.
4712. We do not fail to notice her because she looks like a big ball of fuzz when curled up.
4713. She does not sleep on crew member's faces at night!
4714....That's Marish.
volrathxp

02-13-06, 09:12 PM		My idea for a character to add:

Erk (Male Minotaur Barbarian 2 / Fighter 2, ECL 12)
Str 33, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 10

Not exactly bright, and even moreso not able to even speak Common, the minotaur Erk is pretty much about as smart as a small child. A really big small child. Erk grew up in Droaam but was orphaned at a very young age. Thus, Erk never really learned of his race's inherent hatred of lesser races, but quickly picked up on his inherent sense of direction. During a routine hunt through Droaam for the infamous "EXP", the crew picked Erk up, not sure what to make of him at first. Marish thinks he's cute, cuz he's all furry and stuff, but he's not very smart and no one really understands anything he says. He seems to have an undying affection for Captain Jarlot, and will defend him with his last breath if need be. His sense of direction is uncanny, even if no one understands what he says, he's always capable of pointing at least.

Erk is playful, sometimes too much, and has been known to throw the occasional red shirt off the side of the Forgotten Freedom, just for the fun of it.

4715. The halfling is not to be used as a basketball.
4716. It is wrong to tell Erk or the warforged this.
4717. Especially don't tell them at the same time.
4718. They might get competitive.
4719. And you don't want that, trust me.
4720. Have you ever seen a minotaur cry? It's not pretty.
4721. The minotaur does not attack everything in sight.
4722. That's a stereotype and unfair to him.
4723. Besides, he only attacks what I tell him to.
4724. No he will not attack Thrane so you can kidnap Jaela!
4725. The captain may be sauced at any point in time.
4726. It's his perrogative of course.
4728. Must not tell the warforged that the minotaur could theoretically toss him overboard at any time.
4729. You can tell Erk though.
4730. He probably will do it.
4731. Probably should not have told the warforged he could fly by flapping his arms though.
4732. Magic missile is the most useful spell the ship's mage can ever possibly learn.
4733. No, really it is.
4734. I once knew a halfling that took down a dragon with it.
4735. No I'm serious.
4736. Why are you laughing? I wasn't kidding!
4737. Dammit, you're getting keelhauled.
4738. I'm serious, stop laughing at me!
rampant

02-13-06, 09:59 PM		jarlot - what is so fugging funny?

Lisa - (haha) It's because your (snort), bright flaming (chuckle) pink.

jarlot - (TWITCHTWITCH)

crew - HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jarlot - CHAAAAAAALLLLLLKY!!!


Kithle - Ok now can we plz get back to work here, sa'vor is working on the arm, by the way anyone have any plans for aquiring the syberis heirs? The marks need to be intact, other than that the level of force used is up to you guys.
Crystalforged

02-15-06, 09:35 AM		Well I really want to move this plotline along so here we go. If anyone has any better ideas than what I came up with here feel free to disregard mine.






Kithle, Kanatash, Sa’vor, and Kelter are in Kelter's lab with the pieces they have already collected for the boomstick.

Kanatash: Well since we haven't been getting much help from the rest of the crew I figure that we should put our heads together on this and collect the rest of the components.

Kithle: Sounds fine to me. Now lets go over what we have so far.

Kelter: We have a massive dragonshard of each type, an omnimental, and a warlock's ring finger courtesy of Sa'vor.

Sa’vor: (fingering his missing digit) Yes, don’t forget that I should have Olian’s arm soon also.

Kanatash: Noted, now where to start... How about Syberies marks from each house? I think this might be a good job for the Ninja Jaela's.

Kithle: Hmm, good idea. They should have no problem tracking down the prerequisite parts and I should be able to convince them to help by promising to tell them the names of everyone on this ship who has impure thoughts about them.

Kelter: Um...

Kithle: I'll exclude you. Now what about the blades from the LoB?

Sa’vor: Why not send in Scholar as a double agent? He should have no problem joining and his power should ensure that he can get close enough to the LoB to get what we need.

Kanatash: That should do it. Just toss in a little mind control as a failsafe and we should be good. Then how about a fire lit by the silver flame?

Kithle: Lisa probably has one somewhere. What about the live or well preserved Daelkyr? I was thinking about Orlassk.

Kanatash: Yes he should do perfectly, I've been looking for an excuse to take him out.

Sa’vor: Excuse me but don't you work for the Daelkyr? I would think that you would have a problem with doing this to one of them?

Kanatash: Normally yes but you see Orlassk is known to mortals as the master of stone. This is a mistranslation he is actually the master of Stoners. He seriously does more drugs than than this entire crew and I'm counting alcohol as a drug. Since he does drugs that makes him a hippy and I hate hippies so I'm willing to make and exception.

Kithle: So how do we collect him?

Kanatash: I would like to do it right now, personally, but I need to collect something from Kelter's lab first.

Kanatash teleports out of the lab and returns several minutes later with the corpse of a daelkyr and his eyes have turned into pits of infinite blackness.

Sa’vor: Nice work, but what’s with the eyes?

Kanatash: Well thanks to this little device I took from the lab (fingers a small black torc) which I believe Kelter has titled the Assimilator I was able to take some of Orlassk's power when I killed him. I now easily overshadow my former masters.

Kithle: No fair, I'm supposed to be the one who steals other's abilities! I should have gotten to do that!

Kanatash: Maybe but I know you plan to become the almighty emperor of a massive Illithid empire. Thus giving you the power to challenge the gods, the dragons, and the deranged masters all at the same time. Think of this as keeping it even.

Kithle: Fine. Now what's next.

Sa’vor: How about an umbragen's palm? The only hard part will be tracking one of them down.

Kanatash: Not as hard as you think. There’s been a drow aboard this ship for ages in disguised as an elf. I’m not sure if he’s an umbragen though.

Sa’vor: Point me to him. We might as well collect the hand now and figure out if it works latter.

Sa’vor walks out and comes back several minutes latter clutching a black arm and covered in blood.

Sa’vor: Idiot. I told him I just needed his hand but he struggled so had to take the whole arm. (setting the arm down) Next?

Kithle: Well we still need mithril, adamantine, drakebone golems. Could be tricky, those are all rare.

Kelter: I know a few artificers who have built those in the past. I might be able to call in a few favors.

Sa’vor: And if you can’t we’ll “persuade” them.

Kithle: Excelent. Now what about the heads of a frost giant jarl, A fire giant priest, a storm giant sorcerer, and a death giant paladin?

Kanatash: I think I have those lying around somewhere.

Kelter: WHAT! How in Kyber did you come into the possession of those.

Kanatash: Well suffice to say you encounter a great number of things wandering Eberron for hundreds of years searching for the plane’s nexus of madness and I like to keep trophies.

Kithle: Well enough. Now for the brains of at least 12 of the 20 most powerful Quori from the dreaming dark. The greatest problem is getting to Dal Quor itself.

Kanatash: Well before my conversion I was seeking a way to transport myself to Dal Quor to strike directly at the quori. In fact that was how I accidentally ended up in Xoriat. However I digress, I should be able to transport my person to Dal Quor and collect what we need.

Kithle: Well this is coming along nicely then.

Sa’vor: Yes, now how about a Were-dire wolf's hide?

Kelter: Um, I really hate to suggest this but I think Erk has one of those. He’s using it as a loin cloth.

Kithle: Well I would say that just became your job.

Kelter: What! Why me!

Kithle: I’m not reporting you to the Jaelas remember?

Kelter: Fine…

Kanatash: That is an unpleasant mental image but let us move on. Any ideas for the Great Wyrm hearts?

Sa’vor: It could take me a while but I should be able to get into Argonesse and slay the necessary dragons although it could take me a while.

Kithle: Well that sounds like a good job for you then. What about a gift from the traveler? This one could be difficult to track down.

Kanatash: Can we just use Pholly? He seems to fit the description.

Kithle: Perhaps I should run some tests on that. In the mean time what next?

Sa’vor: How about the tongues of a radiant idol and a dragon below favored soul?

Kanatash: I’m not sure about the radiant idol but I have a small cult based around me in Sharn that I should be able to acquire the favored soul tongue from. I hear a number of radiant idols inhabit Sharn as well so my cult may be able to track one of them down as well actually.

Kithle: Excellent, the last component is the core of a psiforged Sonokineticest.

Kelter: I have some connections among the warforged populations. I might be able to track one down.

Kithle: Perfect, if all this works out all we need is the poor fool who will wield this monstrosity.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-15-06, 10:35 AM		( Somewhere in Argonesson)
Great wyrm Red-dragon: Come back here you Abomination!
( Sa'vor runs through the labrintine passages of the dragons layer, his shadowy cloak fluttering behind him)
Great wyrm Red-dragon: You cant just run from me! not after killing my Wife! ( His gaint claw shears Sa'vor in half, the image wavers and dissapears)
Great wyrm Red-dragon: What the?

Sa'vor: ( Fades into existance on the dragons head) Bye! ( brings his scythe down into the dragons skull, it roars and collapses to the floor)
Sa'vor: Phew ( whipes his forehead) That was difficult ( proceedes in removing the dragons heart)
Slip: ( appearing from nowhere) You could of done that quicker

Sa'vor: Shouldn't you be flying the ship?

Slip: The captain has decided i fly it too much already, he should crash within the hour

Sa'vor: Indeed, he never did learn how to fly that thing

Slip: So what now?

Sa'vor: well, we go back to the ship and handover the hearts, then i sleep

Slip: i mean with the dragons corpse

Sa'vor: Oh, well, thats a years supply of dragon meat right there, very spicy red-dragon meat

Slip: isnt that canabalism?

Sa'vor: No, im not dragon or elf or Vampire or Demon so its within the rules

Slip: what rules?

Sa'vor: draconic lore states that you may only eat a dragon if that dragon died by your hands and you yourself are not a dragon

Slip: thats one strange law

Sa'vor: well, we better get back to the ship before Jarlot crashes ... again
***
( that night in Sa'vors Cell, Sa'vor lys asleep on his bed, the night is slient all but for the sounds of Chalky hunting Squishy, Two Shadowy Symbols form on the walls, they glow with a dull redlight)

( in Sa'vors dreams, a shadowy vocie speaks )
" Your master has a task for you my Fang,
Find your way to the Forgotten freedom and hunt down all its members,
be swift with claw and fang,
rend their flesh and prevent them from entering the tombs,
make a river of blood from them!"
( a shadowy draconic eye appears before him, its feral looks burn with savage fury, the creature raises its head to reveal a half-dragon clad in black scales, his claws raised to the sky, blood dripping from them)
Sa'vor: Arrggghhh! ( awakes, Notices the symbols) Oh no, not you two
manneedshaircut

02-15-06, 05:31 PM		4739. You may not carve your initials into the warforged's crotch.
4740. I don't care if you are a vagrant gnome.
4741. You may not shove the warforged with adamantine body into the well "just to see if he can swim".
4742. Especially not if he is carrying all the party's loot.
Crystalforged

02-15-06, 11:15 PM		As the bood drenched half-dragon rises next to Sa'vor Kanatash floats out of a nearby wall.

Kanatash: (looking down at Sa'vor) You son of a :censored:. Another nigh unstoppable extraplanar killing machine? I swear if we survive this I am going to see to it that you end up spending 1000 years of bondage in the service of the Walt Disney Daelkyr.
rockrodent

02-15-06, 11:44 PM		4743. Elemental Grafts are NOT to be used on body parts normally hidden by clothing!
4744. Neither is the Ironwood spell.
4745. Ray of Enfeeblement is up to you, I guess......
Korhal_IV

02-16-06, 12:52 AM		4739. You may not carve your initials into the warforged's crotch.
4740. I don't care if you are a vagrant gnome.
4741. You may not shove the warforged with adamantine body into the well "just to see if he can swim".
4742. Especially not if he is carrying all the party's loot.
I'm in this group.

4746. You may not use a Tumble check to impress the guards at the noblemen's party into letting you in.
4747. If the LG cleric suggests an evil plan, call it out of character and have him wander out of sight momentarily.
4748. You may not start a list of 101 uses for a dead Emerald Claw Soldier.
4749. Not even if you find six ways in just two dungeon rooms.
4750. The druid's summoned monkey is not proficient with weapons, so don't give it any.
4751. Especially if that weapon is a dead Emerald Claw Soldier.
4752. Or any body part thereof.
rampant

02-16-06, 01:50 AM		4753. You will not dye the captian pink.
4754. Or purple
4755. Or whatever the hell color you have prepared for tommorow.
4756. Stop dyeing me colors.
4758. That was not an invitaion to dye me black.
4759. Nor to start using paints again.

Jarlot - Why is the minotaur pink?

Marish - CUTECUTECUTECUTE (glomps Erk)

Jarlot - Better question, why does johnny have a target tattoed on his torso? More to the point why doesn't he have his shirt on?

Elemental - It was tye-dyed to look like a shooting range picture. Hoybee burnt it away with searing ray trying to improve his accuracy with ray of frost.

Lisa - I think Chalky is getting bored. The tye-dye is a new trick, and this whole thing is a little more effort than he usually puts out ...OH BY THE FLAME CHECK THE OUTER HULL.

Jarlot - GROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN, he's down there painting someone ******* on a Raksasha that is curled up in the Silver flame. Wow that was one hell of a distraction usualluy he would have just gone strait for the mural and been caught by now.
Why didn't either of you bozos warn me.

Elemental - I think its hillarious.

John - I can't see who it is from this angle. The ninjas are always scrablling accross there, how am i supposed to know whats going on?

Lisa - Speaking of the ninjas i think their giving him the paint.

Jarlot - what makes you say that?

Lisa - I can't see where he's getting it.

Jarlot - The worst part is, we are passing over thrane for a supply run in about an hour. He'll be done by then.

Lisa - I'm never gonna get to go home.

Jarlot - You just figured this out now?

Lisa - Shove it pig.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-16-06, 12:46 PM		( just to note, the blood drenched half-dragon was a dream, sorry if i confused you; any way, somewhere in the cargo hold walks Sa'vor holding a glowing red-orb out infront of him. kantash floats somewhere behind him)

Sa'vor: you didn't have to follow me, They havn't manifested yet, the superweapon we're creating scares them. they'll use thier abilities from the etheral plane or even Possess a creature as thier champion shielding them from the weapons affects

Kantash: are they killable?

Sa'vor: yes, thier weaker than the calling Dark, the Calling Dark was a scout to locate me, now we get to meet its friends
( the Light catches a Pair of runes Burned into the wall, The first is a Circle with two Wavy lines through it horizontaly, The sencond is another Circle but with two verticle lines either side)
Kantash: what do they mean?

Sa'vor: well, these are the Following Dark and The Whispering Dark, two of the weaker symbols, they're still capable of vausing Havoc on this ship though we can banish them easily.

Kantash: What Power do they Possess? Also, are they Passive or Offensive?

Sa'vor: these Symbols are more Passive offensive, they'll seek to turn us against each other and drive us to our deaths, The Whispering Dark possess the ability to whisper the darkest secrets we own; it speaks truths and twists them; it gets into out darkest fears and turns them against us; once it gains a champion it will strike at our minds twisting our view points.

Kantash: and the Following dark?

Sa'vor: im not sure, i have no knowledge of it, its not summoned often, when it is, all the records say is of deaths; blood; fear; Darkness. I guess it drives us insane

Kantash: i thought you knew everything about these things?

Sa'vor: i know a lot about them, but i only know about the more famous ones; the calling dark was summoned during the age of demons by Naz'roth, the Whispering Dark was used as an assasin by the Umbragen, the others are more obsure; though the worst are quite famous for causing great strife

Kantash: should we tell Jarlot? or should we keep this secret?

Sa'vor: No, we should keep this secret, they can't listen in on us since the light forces them away, we shall wait and find the champions, then we shall banish them, oh and always keep yourself in light, i dont want them to hack into your mind

Kantash: afraid of the dark?

Sa'vor: obviously, more than anything else; its not the dark i fear, just what dwells in it
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-16-06, 01:28 PM		4760: Form now on, all epic members of the crew are forbiden from starting mutineys
4761: Red shirt fireball "catch" is forbiden; due to the number of casualties and the burnmarks on the hull ( punishable by being fed to whatever comes out of the next tear in Reality)
4762: Feeding redshirts to Erk the Minator is also forbidden
4763: so is Supplying Chalky with paints
4764: and letting a Lawyer onboard
4765: Kithle, Ketler, Kantash and Sa'vor are banned from creating a super weapons.... UNLESS the captain gives his express permission
volrathxp

02-16-06, 04:48 PM		Erk: *grumbles something totally unintelligble in Giant and pats Marish on the head* He turns and points to his direct left. *more unintelligible Giant speak*

4766. RE: 4762. But Erk think redshirts so tasty.
4768. When the minotaur says "Grawpo graa graa graa!" it is probably a good time to run.
4769. If for any reason you accidentally enter Al's Furniture Emporium, buy at least one thing.
4770. Trust me on this. A crying stockman with a red afro is not funny, it's sad.
4771. There is no such thing as a miniature warforged.
4772. Stop telling this to the warforged.
4773. And especially stop telling him that the dwarf is one too.
4774. The dwarf is not considered to be any of the following: a ball.
4775. A ranged weapon.
4776. A bullet.
4777. Or any other sort of thrown or launched weapon.
4778. Telling Erk otherwise may result in you losing your dwarf.
4779. And that would be bad.
4780. RE: 4760. Erk wonders... what's a mutiney? Is it something that Erk can play with?
rampant

02-16-06, 08:39 PM		Kithle - Well too bad about rule 4765, I'ts almost done just need some time to finish the final assembly and a wielder so "Screw you Captain Dimbulb". By the way Chalky got into the ink stores, what color is your minotaur again?

Jarlot - Why do we stock green ink?

Kithle - we don't, the little changeling mixed the blue and yellow.

Jarlot - why do we stock yellow?

Kithle - Pholly accidently mixed some up trying to come up with a defense against 12 alarm d'Norbaz. Erk may maybe flammable now.

Jarlot - Ok on this tub thats saying he's gonna blow. so who and how?

Elemental - Me and watch, "Hey erk touch the pretty fire"

Jarlot - Oh crap, he was doing this all day yesterday. The dumb ox never learns.

Erk - FWOOOOOOOM
Crystalforged

02-16-06, 11:20 PM		( just to note, the blood drenched half-dragon was a dream, sorry if i confused you; any way, somewhere in the cargo hold walks Sa'vor holding a glowing red-orb out infront of him. kantash floats somewhere behind him)
Kanatash: I know it was a dream. I spend most of my time in other people's mind and I happened to be your dream at the moment. Oh, and the thing about selling you into bondage with the Walt Disney Daelkyr still stands.





Kanatash: So do you know how Kelter and Kithle are coming with that superweapon?

Sa'vor: I think they're done actualy but we still have the hardest part ahead since we still need to find somebody to weild it.

Kanatash: Yes that is a problem. He needs to be perfectly sane, willing, an exemplar of the mortal spirit, and have lost their left arm fighting for someone they love. Thats a tough bill to fit... :lightbulb By the deraged lords, I just had a brilliant thought. (telekinetically grabs two redshirts) You, go find Kithle and tell him I have found someone to wield his superweapon. You, go tell Kelter to come here and bring his helm of Absolute Opposition with him.

Sa'vor: (turning to Kanatash as the redshirts run off) What are you thinking?

Kanatash: I'll explain in a second. Just wait for Kithle to arrive.

Kithle: (arriving moments affterwards) Who is it?! Where is he?!

Kanatash: You're looking at him.

Kithle: You're kidding. I know you're insane but I never thought you were stupid. The wielder has to be your polar opposite.

Kanatash: Precisely. (Kelter walks in carrying the Helm of Absolute Opposition)

Kithle: I see now. Thats brilliant really, but will it work like you want it to?

Kanatash: It should. After all I'm irevocably insane, I would never be willing to use this thing, I'm not even mortal, I am completely incapable of love, and I would never sacrafice anything for anyone else. If Kelter can tweak the helm a little we should be garenteed to get the result we want.

Sa'vor: Excellent, now I was just wondering has anyone thought of any precautions we can take to ensure that the guy with doomsday device attached to his arm doesn't turn against us?

Kanatash: Well it shouldn't be necessesary since I am not loyal to the crew in the least but I have a few backup plans anyways and I'm sure Kithle does as well.

Kelter: It's done. You can put it on when you're ready.

Kanatash: (becoming corperal and picking up the helmet) Well here goes nothing. (places the helm on his head)
rampant

02-17-06, 04:19 AM		Kithle - Um I just remembered Norbaz was using this thing as a chili bowl. I guess that explains the night of the living entree, seeing how nothing could possbly have been alive in a batch of unaltered 12 alarm d'Norbaz. That stuff should be on the list. Bloody Mol the aura alone off that Kanatsh opposite is blinding.

Sa'vor - Speaking of which (sizzle) there go my eyeballs.


Satnak
Female Half-elf Incarnate (good?)7/Psychic warrior 8
Satnak is everything that is right amongst the mortal races of eberron. She is strong of will and heart, keen of mind and body, devoted to making the world a better place for those around her, and utterly and completely wrecked. She may or may not have existed until a moment ago, but she remembers losing her left arm in a fight with her sister a powerful cultist of a lesser Raksasha lord who was begining to approach the level of the lords of dust. She won of course, and wreaked bloody horrible vengeance upon the Raksasha responcible. Since then she remembers wandering some even begining to recover, but a wrathful feeling towards the immortal and those who claim divinity festers within her heart.

The arm of Broken Dreams
This horrible artifact was constructed by the crew of the Forgotten Freedom to counter all of the big bad immortals that started plauging the ship after the arrival of Sa'vor. Based on designs aquired from an alternate future, this replacement for the left arm allows the bearer to trap and erode the souls of immortal creatures to empower the arm and themselves. This power is activated by striking the manifestation of such creatures, each strike becomes more and more devastating until the manifestation is broken and the immortal soul is absorbed into the arm. The captured essences are gradually ground to nothing as the arm and bearer are infused with its converted enegies making the wielder faster, stronger, smarter, more deadly. The arm has several other special features as well.

Its hard well crafted form is nearly impervious, and completely immune to divine or profane hinderances.

It allows the user to manipulate energy for devasting long range blasts or to channel into crippling melee strikes

All "Immortal souls" and influences are immediatly identified and tracked to their source.

One of Three blades can be extended from the gauntlet at a time each one can be imprinted with a diffent set of enhancement abillities on top of the arms already impressive Damage potencial (3d6 +str with a +10 enhancement bonus)
In addition the armor of the gauntlet can be used as a shield and enchanted with sheild abilities.

Finally the Wielder's growth is accelerated not only does the host level faster they gain more feats and ability improvements than normal people.

Satnak the Deicide
Incarnate (good or chaos)8/Psychic warrior 8
Satnak has been summon to a strange ship and grafted with this stange armored arm where her real arm used to be. She doesn't quite understand whats happening or these strange people who did this, but she does understand one thing. This new arm will help her slay the very gods if they choose to manifest. Satnak can barely contain her excitment at this idea.

Satnak - huuh?

Kithle - Ok Sa'vor, quick press the arm to her shoulder stump. Kantash take that helmet off and destroy it, what would happen if the crew found it again? Alright Satnak you will be out for a while, so your body can adjust to the graft. I'd warn you about the pain, but your gonna be unconcious.

Satnak - uh... zzz

Kithle - Sa'vor help me carry her to her new quarters. Then get the paperwork for her started, I'll get the orientation party together. Kantash tell chalky to get his supplies the weapon's finished.

Later

Lisa - Why are we doing this?

Marish - Because she is the only other female on this ship who isn't, old, a ninja, or just plain freaky. That and kithle showed you a new trick with the hammer.

Andrea - I got a set of scrolls detailing the creation of a mother cyst and its uses.

Marish - He gave me a book of sutras.

Andrea - I didn't know you studied ancient psionic disciplines.

Marish - Not that kind of sutra.

Slip - He got me a knife that can become most any weapon I see, and I can wield it even if I've never seen the weapon actually used before.

Lisa - I got gyped.

Marish - Oh shes waking up.
turalisj

02-17-06, 06:54 AM		#4792 (the real number): No calling your drill seargent gunny. Doing so will have you launched, by railgun, into argonesse with a fake mark of death painted on.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-18-06, 10:47 AM		( Somwhere over xendric, the forgotten Freedom floats (hoplessly lost), in Sa'vors Cell)
Sa'vor: im thinking about enhancing my eyes, life sight should be quite useful, as well as maybe heat vision, true seeing, the ability to see magical auras.

Slip: so, whats the Whispering and following dark up to at the moment?

Sa'vor: probably trying to convince a redshirt to be thier champion, they're like that ( removes one of his eyes and begins to magicaly enhance it) besides, i think that they're waiting for back up

Slip: how can you be sure?

Sa'vor: well, they havn't been whispering and following as much as i thought they'd be, maybe they're scared and calling for more friends

Sa'vor: ( finishes enchancing eye, moves on to second one ( that is after replacing the one he'd been enhancing) )
you know, mortal flesh is so easy to enhance and shape, its like clay

Slip: how so?

Sa'vor: thats too advanced for your understanding, anyway, im hungry and these redshirts are getting better and better at avioding me. ( finishes enhancing second eye)

Slip: whos behind teaching them to aviod you?

Sa'vor: most probably lisa, though Kithle's obviosuly the one feeding some of them bloodwine

Slip: are we near the tomb?

Sa'vor: yes, about twenty miles away, east i think

Slip: how can you tell without a map?

Sa'vor: i feel its call, it pulls me towards it, its also got a vey large magical aura
Endless_Helix

02-18-06, 12:30 PM		4793: Do not ask the Inspired where they get their Inpiration from.
4794: Shifter crewmembers do not mark their territory by urinating on things.
4795: My shoes are my territory and my territory alone.
4795: Other crewmembers do not mark their territory by urinating on things, particularly other crewmembers, organic or not.
4796: To mark something as yours, write your name on it.
4797: Do not write your name on other crewmembers.
4798: Do not tattoo your name on other crewmembers.
4799: Do not write your name on Jaela.
4800: Do not tattoo your name on Jaela.
4801: Not allowed to dress up in silvery jumpsuits, dye yourselves green, put a headband with antennae on, and kidnap people fromt the Eldeen reaches to experiment on.
4802: Expanding on 4801, which now applies to all other countries on Khorvaire.
4803: Do not write your name on countries. Period.
4804: Do not write your name in any bodily fluid.
4805: Summon swarm doesn't give the target crabs, no matter how much you want it to.
4806: May not use the Forgotten Freedom to create crop circles.
4807: May not use true creation to create your dream woman.
4808: 4801 now includes, using said abductees to start your own religion is now a class 2 keelhauling offence.
4809: May not longer use create minor image and pyrotechnics to create your own native religion.
4810: 4809 now includes all illusion spells, polymorph spells, and wish spells.
4811: May not Wish oneself divine ranks.
4812: May not throw heads of state into a planar rift to Xoriat, even if they richly deserve it.
4813: May not throw anyone into a planar rift to Xoriat.
4815: You can no longer use redshirts to create your own empire in Q'barra.
4816: 4815 now applies to any sparsly inhabited area.
4817: Do not write your name on any head of state.
4818: Do not tattoo your name on any head of state.
4819: If anyone even thinks of writing or tattooing or otherwise causing a manifestation of your name(s) on the captain, your pay is docked for the rest of your life, and you will spend the rest of your life attached to the keel. Permanently.
4820: You may not force someone to break any of the above rules through the following: mind control, possession, blackmail, bribery, insider trading, illusion, drunkeness, dares, threats, coercion, and any other possible way of forcing someone to do something. This is not limited to concievable ways of forcing someone to do something.
4821: Redshirts are not to be used as a food source when supplies run low.
4822: Do not tell them that they are.
4823: Do not tell the minotaur, warforged, and/or the crew this.
4824: May not cast Pyrotechnics on the silver flame.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-19-06, 10:34 AM		4825. when convicted of a crime; you may not use the excuse " the silver flame told me to do it"
4826. the above also now includes all other religions
4827. including the ones you created yourself before the rules forbade you to
4828. expanding on the not allowed to feed red-shirts to Erk rule: you are now not allowed to feed other crew members to Erk
4829. Nor are you allowed to feed the captain to Erk
4830. nor are you allowed to feed mutinous crew members to Erk ( since that includes half the crew )
4831. turining in your fellow crew members for the reward money is strictly forbidden
4832. ( unless the captain gets a cut)
Crystalforged

02-19-06, 12:30 PM		...and then something very bad happened...




Lisa wandering alone in a cargo bay deep below deck.

Lisa: Why can I not lead a single one of these people to the path of righteousness? I have tried everything I can think of to convince them to abandon at least the worst of their evil ways but to no avail! By the flame the blasted keel has had more luck than I have!

(a subtle mumble of voices comes from a nearby dark room)

Lisa: Who's there. I swear if you’re up to something I'm going to smite you into next week!

(the voices grow louder and more distinguishable)

Lisa: By the flame, maybe that is why I fail. I always turn to violence so quickly. Perhaps the reason I cannot lead anyone to righteousness is because it is something I cannot reach myself.

Whispers: (the voices grow to a hum which rattles the entire room) Lisa, come to us...

Lisa: Why not? I'm a failure anyway. I might as see what this holds for me...

Lisa walks into the pitch-black room and the whispers rise to deafening roar before suddenly cutting off. The lights come on in the room, leaving it completely silent and Lisa nowhere to be found.



Later that day the door to Lisa's room is blown of its hinges and Lisa herself walks out dressed in spiked, black full plate and a helm shaped like a demonic face which causes her hair to stick out of the top like and look like her head is wreathed with demonic fire. She carries a skull emblazoned warhammer in one hand which oozes blood from the skulls eyes and in the other a black shield which seems to absorb the surrounding light

Lisa: I hearby forsake all claim to the title of paladin and sacrifice my soul to the consuming darkness of evil! I shall bring death and destruction to all in my path!

Michael: Hey! Welcome to the dark side! How about we go to my room and celebrate!

Lisa: Just because I have sold my soul to the darkness doesn’t mean I like you any more than I did before. Now I simply have no compunctions against doing to you what I always wanted. (Swings her hammer into Michael’s groin with bone shattering force. Michael rises several feat off the ground before falling to the ground in a heap)

Kanatash: Well he is going to be feeling that for a while.

Lisa: Don't think I've forgotten about you. You may have set me on this path but you also invaded my mind. That is someplace you're not allowed.

Kanatash: (laughing) What are you going to do to me? Incorperality remember?

Lisa: That is exactly why I had the ghost touch ability placed on my new warhammer. (swings warhammer into Kanatash's stomach, knocking him into and through a nearby wall)

Several hours later...

Kanatash floats up behind a group of crates where Kithle, Sa'vor, and Michael are hiding.

Kithle: Where have you been?

Kanatash: Recovering.(grabs chest in pain)

Michael: Same here. (clutches groin defensively)

Sa'vor: Well this is bad isn't it. This definitely looks like the work of the whispering dark but I don't understand what dark secrets it had to work off of with Lisa.

Kithle: You can thank Kanatash here for that.

Michael: Are you saying this is his fault!

Kanatash: Indirectly, I have been playing mindgames with Lisa for quite a while now. Reminding her of her failings, implant memories, subconsciously leading her thought paths, all par for the course. I expected her mind to break soon but the Whispering dark proved to be a variable I had not accounted for. Instead of breaking down under the stress she has done something wholly unexpected and accepted that I was right.

Michael: So yes.

Kanatash: ...Whatever... What has she been doing in my absence anyway?

Kithle: Well when she was done with you she proceeded to take Devon apart for trying to flirt with her. I think they were still removing parts of his lute from his rear when I left.

Sa'vor: Then for fun she lit Hoybee's beard on fire. Lets just say he tried to use a spell to put it out and leave it at that.

Michael: Yeah, and after that she kicked Doog's :censored: with his own chain of command.

Kithle: Then she somehow managed to drop Pholly's lab onto Ketler's lab. The explosion was huge. I think Kelter was badly injured but Pholly managed to come away with only his eyebrow's burned off again. Pity, I was hoping something positive could come out of this.

Kanatsh: That must have been the massive blast I felt a while back.

Sa'vor: No that would have been Norbaz's chilly container going off.

Kanatash: By the mad lords! And the ship is still in one piece!

Kithle: It wouldn't be except the elemental cleaned out most of the chili earlier. Norbaz isn't looking good though and to make matter's worse now the elemental refuses move due to a massive case of indigestion and Lisa roasting the pieces of Chalky she was going to eat.

Kanatash: She ate Chalky? That’s ironic.

Sa'vor: She only got his left arm. I think she also put something in Smig's drink since after he sipped it he passed out. He's in a coma now and Micky says its more a matter of if rather than when he wakes up.

Kithle: Micky's not doing so hot either. He has a makeshift hospital set up but he was injured somewhere along the line to so its mostly those who can still move looking after those who can't.

Sa’vor: I think she also had some fun with Andrea’s undead army. Last I heard she was fighting for her life against about half of her own creations.

Kithle: No one knows exactly what happened but she did a number on John too. All we know is she was up there talking to him for about half an hour and now we can’t get him to stop crying.

Sa’vor: Then she went and stole :coolcthul ’s dreamlily stash. She smoked about half of it herself and sold the rest to school children.

Michael: Don’t forget that she went all dominatrix on the captain. Personally I couldn’t tell but I think he may have actually liked it.

Kithle: You think that’s bad? When I last saw her she was whispering in Erk’s ear while leading him into her room.

Michael: That summons up all sorts of images that I will never be able to get out of my mind

Sa'vor: There's more but I think you get the picture. All told the ships barely flying and half the crew is injured.

Michael: Yeah, and the other half is in hiding. What really irks me though is the chaos, the depravity, and the wanton destruction. Those are my job and she'd doing it better than I do.

Kithle: And stealing other people's jobs is supposed to be what I do.

Sa'vor: Well, does anyone have a suggestion on what to do next?

Kanatash: I say until we have a better idea we keep our heads low, find a better hiding place, and run like :censored: if we see Lisa coming.

Kithle: What do you think we have been doing so far genius?
Charles Phipps

02-19-06, 05:47 PM		Jarlot: *whistles as he drives the ship*

Dol Dorn: JARLOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Jarlot: Oh hell, its my god. Listen if this is about those gross acts of cowardice....

Dol Dorn: What?

Jarlot: Oh sorry, I mean the selling myself to the Dragon Below before stabbing it in the back....

Dol Dorn: Say what?

Jarlot: I swear I only worshipped the Dreaming Dark for a short while...

Dol Dorn: Err...I'm not here about that.

Jarlot: I swear, I only did it for revenge....and power....and money. Plus the smoking out cultist girls.

Dol Dorn: Jarlot, I'm here about Lisa.

Jarlot: YOU CAN'T HAVE HER! SHE'S FINALLY RESPONSIVE!

Dol Dorn: First of all...I'm DOL DORN. I can have any woman I want thanks to the fact chicks dig my lightning helmet and Mjonir. Next, you d what I say or I SMACK you with this hammer. You got that?

Jarlot: *sniffle* How could I ever have left you Milord?

Dol Dorn: Suffice to say, it all starts with the fact that we the Powers that Be acquiring the Ship of Chaos.

Jarlot: You mean the Ta'anari superweapon which contains enough power to destroy an entire planet or dominate an entire dimension?

Dol Dorn: The very same one. It was determined by us though that such a loathesome device was at once too valuable to destroy but at the same time was also too dangerous to allow into the hands of any mortals that were smart enough to be able to use it. So we decided to recreate human society in microism with a Captain so dumb and yet simultaneously petty that he'd never figure out how to use its awesome power.

Jarlot: No doubt before replacing him with me. That doesn't say much about human society in General if its this ship.

Dol Dorn: On the contrary, I think it says a great deal.

Jarlot: I suppose it also explains why there's a Glaabezu in our engine room.

Dol Dorn: Don't be hard on Steve. Suffice to say, Lisa's corruption throws the cosmological balances of the Ship of Chaos into disorder.

Jarlot: Balance, what is this frickin DRAGONLANCE? Screw the Balance.

Dol Dorn: It means in a year's time all of humanity will be destroyed no doubt in devastating civil war.

Jarlot: I'll strive thus to restore the Balance. It's not my fault that all my Lawful and Good recruits tend to end up dead or in locked in the asylum portion of the ship.

Dol Dorn: No, that's Kantash's.

Jarlot: Well, I've found something to occupy Kanatash's time and also revenge myself on him for the whole insanity thing....not that I was really crazy.

Dol Dorn: Oh?

Jarlot: I made him Ship's Counsellor.

Dol Dorn: You did...WHAT!?

Jarlot: Yeah, Deanna Troi is learning its not wise to upset me.....or that steady access to the crew's mind is NOT the fun and games it appears to be.

***

*in the ship's psychologist office*

Kanatash: Is it perhaps that these feelings are born from your *psionic suggestion* URGE TO KILL AND MAIM?

Old Dwarven Lady: *gently rocks back and forth as she crochets* Hmmmmm I just can't help but feel that I'm missing something when I'm dealing with this crew. They're such nice boys all around but I always feel like I'm forgetting something when I deal with them. They remind me so much of Gladys Hammerhands' dear boys whom married an elf boy, whooo boy did her parents react badly to that....

Kanatash: *stares at her* *psionic suggestion* You wish to destroy all living things!

Old Dwarven Lady: Do you remember the big church that used to be on fourth avenue? I used to play there as a girl and we would occasionally flirt with the older dwarven miners, even showing some heel which was shocking in those days....

***

Dol Dorn: Wow, that's....even more evil than the Dark Six.

Jarlot: She books six hour sessions twice a week and he's too proud to try physical violence. That and Stupid along with Erk love her so much that they'd kill him...plus THEY'RE too stupid to be psionically manipulated...hell mentally manipulated either. Kanatash can't lower himself to be dumb enough to deal with them on their own level.

Dol Dorn: Suffice to say, it's your assignment to restore her to goo and nobility along with her faith in the Silver flame. Your ship must have a Paladin of glory on your ship....whose a angry feminist.

Jarlot: We've still got the one Ninja Jaela. She makes Cryptic proverbs a lot.

*Ninja Jaela pops in*

Ninja Jaela: Good....is in the heart of the beholder.

*tosses down Beholder heart*

*pops away*

Dol Dorn: Yeah, that's...not going to cut it.....and why does she look like a member of the Cast of Dead or Alive?

Jarlot: I try to drink that thought away. Alright, I guess we'll have to drive her SO CRAZY SHE GOES BACK SOON!
Phantomcrossing

02-19-06, 10:14 PM		Norbaz, covered in horrible burns and bandages, cruthes himself to the captains chamber.

Norbaz: Captain, I would like to request permission to handle the Lisa matter. I have a plan, and If you're willing to grant me permission I would like to carry it out.

(come on, its a good one)
Charles Phipps

02-19-06, 10:23 PM		Norbaz, covered in horrible burns and bandages, cruthes himself to the captains chamber.

Norbaz: Captain, I would like to request permission to handle the Lisa matter. I have a plan, and If you're willing to grant me permission I would like to carry it out.

(come on, its a good one)

Jarlot: Absolutely not! I refuse.

Slip: It'll save you from doing anything.

Jarlot: That's true. I have a busy schedule this week. Beer night, Steinhoists, Octoberfest....in July, Vodka night, Hitting the bars, Wine tastings....okay sure Norbaz.
Crystalforged

02-19-06, 11:12 PM		Michael, Sa'vor, Kithle, and Kanatash pop up from behind a stack of crates

Kithle: If you want it we'll help

Sa'vor: Yeah if we don't do something its only a matter of time before she gets to me.

Jarlot: What the :censored: are you doing here Kanatash? Your supposed to be having a session with the dwarf lady.

Kanatash: I am. I recently learned how to duplicate my form so I can be in two places at once. Oh wait, its time. The other me will be right back.

Kanatash teleports out and then teleports right back in.

Jarlot: So are you the other Kanatash?

Kanatash: Yes, we are essentially the same person so neither is willing to be subserviant to the other. Therefore we switch of every few hours when one of up can no longer stand dealing with those idiots.

Jarlot: Oh...

Kanatash: By the way I think it is unfair to place all the blame for what happens to the redshirts on me. Kithle, Sa'vor, Micheal, Doog, and just about everyone else on the ship has a hand in that body count.

Kithle: True but you're the only one who actively hunts down the really pure and goodly ones.

Kanatash: Well how can I help it if their minds are just so much more satisfying to break? If it makes you happy I'll try to warp some of the darker ones to the ways of light. My skills are somewhat rusty in that area anyways.

Sa'vor: Back on subject then. If there is anything we can do, supplies, information, extraplanar connections, muscle, or whatever else we're happy to supply it. We liked the old Lisa a lot better than the new one.
Charles Phipps

02-19-06, 11:31 PM		Jarlot: That's true. Some of the redshirts just seem to drop over and die on occasion.

Redshirt *comes out with gun on Marish* Alright, I'm with the Dark Lanterns, you're all under arrest. Where is River Tam!?

Jarlot:*shoots the Red shirt in the face and Dooj with Erk causally toss the body over the side* See?

Marish: Yeah, Lisa's been acting real weird. She even tried to cuddle me!

Michael: HEY!

Jarlot: Evil doesn't....cuddle.

Kanatash: Proof there is still good inside her! Anyone who can love such an inherently evil species as felines must have some light.
Phantomcrossing

02-20-06, 02:20 AM		Norbaz : Well, to begin, the plan I have hatched hinges on playing to something particularly interesting. I think she only thinks she is evil and is but only emulating behavior she has seen us do. She isn't acting in any regard to evil, particularly in attacking crew members she previously had little contact with, and in my case at least civil contact with inside the mess hall. Effectively she's torn between seeing things as black and white and seeing things as having shades of gray.
What I propose, is that the ship fly over Xendrik, we wait for her to go on deck, then we pelt her with manacles, tanglefoot bags, and lassos. Immediately we bull rush her over the edge and we show her the nature of evil versus whatever of herself remains in contrast to the lacking of morality backdrop of nature itself. And if that doesn't work *Reaches over to a red shirt convieniently nearby and there is a popping sound as there is suddenly a heart in Norbaz's hand* we'll have a heart to heart.


(Dice gods I love heart ripper)
Charles Phipps

02-20-06, 05:03 AM		Jarlot: Hey! I paid thirty gp for that!

Slip: Way to show compassion for a crew member.

Jarlot: We're like Section One Slip, we recruit crimminals so we don't have to feel guilty about killing them.

Slip: You feel guilt?

Jarlot: Chaotic Neutral baby, so long as I kill more evil people than bad then I'm immune to most Alignment attacking spells.

Slip: That's the most cynical thing I've ever heard in my life.

Jarlot: Get out more. In any case, I have another plan entirely.

Crew in its entirety: Oh...crap.

Jarlot: Plans 1-372 for world domination were not all bad!

Slip: What about...the one...where you did the thing.

Jarlot: What are you tal....oh! That one! Err....*looks embarrassed* I thought we promised we wouldn't talk about that.

Marish: *leans on the Captain*What was it Captain Snookums? Was it too hot...too dirty?

Slip: It was pretty damn weird yes.

Jarlot: Aren't you supposed to not exist?

Slip: Everyone please ignore me, I'm a figment of the Captain's insanity.

Jarlot: No, we're going to go On a Quest of Atonement!

Slip: Oh hell.

Jarlot: All we have to do is kill enough evil things until we move towards good and then with Pontifical blessings then she's cured!

Slip: Can't she just...go to confession?

Jarlot: No! Violence is all Good Understands! Prepare gentlemen for...OUR QUEST OF GOOD! To NOT harm the innocent and inflict doubly so on the guilty. I understand according to this book *lifts Monstrous Manual* that genocide against nonhumans is especially okay!

Erk and Dooj: *stare*

Jarlot: Oh hush, there's only one crew we'll have to kill. And HE knows which one I mean.

:coolcthul: Hey guys! I baked some cookies!

Jarlot: *pulls saber*

Slip: ....this is not going to go over well.
rampant

02-20-06, 05:57 AM		Satnak - I have a hellspawned headache, a gut pain only to be imagined by the madness of Xoriat, an arm made of a list that could only be written in dal quor, and a fracking antideluvian force to track down. All the while you twits are screaming your lungs out about a quest!. That does it!!. LISA SIT DOWN!!!...

Lisa - (sits)

Satnak - EVERONE ELSE BACK TO WHATEVER THE MOL YOU WERE DOING.

Crew - (Disperses very fast.)

Satnak - Ok first thing first, remove influence of whispering dark and absorb its essence. *zorch* MOL! that hurts.

Lisa - AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHGGGG.

Satnak - Now what do we do with a fallen paladin? that genocide trick hasn't worked in ages. I know full, hammer free, written and verbal apologies to each member of the crew you harmed, mol I'm sadistic.

Lisa - Yes maam.

Satnak - Get moving. (lisa bolts) Now a warning, THE NEXT FRACKING DIETY OR DIETY LIKE CREATURE THAT MANIFESTS ON THIS SHIP IS GONNA GET ZORCHED BIG TIME. THIS INCLUDES THE FRACKING HOST, PRIMEVAL FORCES BEYOND THE COMPREHENSION OF MORTALS, AND ANYTHING THAT GETS BETWEEN ME AND THE CLEAN TOLIET. :coolcthul Cookies Now, and they better be good if you wanna live.

4833. Do not get between Satnak and breakfast.
Endless_Helix

02-20-06, 07:38 AM		4834: You will not get between the captain and breakfast. This is a Class 1 keelhauling offence.

:coolcthul Hey man, no need to get physical; I'll get the peace pipe and pass it around a few times, and we'll all be friends again...

Jarlot continues to stalk :coolcthul

:coolcthul It's in here underneath my bed... HEY! Someone stole my stash! Dammit! Who the hell did that?!

Lisa: Uh, is this a good time?
urial angel of death

02-20-06, 09:02 AM		Squishy: alright :coolcthul people seem intent on killing you so we need to get you back to fighting form. One of my umberhulks will attack you, and you will defend yourself.

(The umberhulk punches :coolcthul )

Squishy: :coolcthul defend yourself!

(The umberhulk punches :coolcthul )

Squishy: :coolcthul defend yourself!

:coolcthul : Bu-But their is no need for violence.

(The umberhulk punches :coolcthul )

:coolcthul : Please don't hurt me. (starts sobbing)

(The umberhulk punches :coolcthul )

:coolcthul : I'm waarning you!

(umberhulk punch)

:coolcthul : Stop!

(The umberhulk punches :coolcthul )

:coolcthul : Crush, maim, destroy, all life!

(The umberhulk punches :coolcthul )(Consquently the umberhulk dies in a very messy way)

Squishy: Oh yeah, he's back!
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-20-06, 03:53 PM		( In Sa'vors cell, Sa'vors currently hovering above the ground and slip is undergoing some psionic training)

Slip: so, is the Whispering dark dead?

Sa'vor: ( opens one eye) hardly, its just lying low for the moment before it possess lisa and attacks

Slip: so how do we kill it?

Sa'vor: we dont, i will have to knock her unconcious and trap it in a etheral net; then i'll banish it.

Slip: have you told the crew this?

Sa'vor: no, for my plan to work no one must be able to know; since you dont exist its okay and i've already taught you to shield your mind. and the whispering dark loves to delve into minds for the hell of it

Slip: so what about the following dark ? shouldn't it by working with the whispering dark?

Sa'vor: it is, its currently riding within :coolcthul , using him as a champion, i could tell since my new eyes allow me to see into many of the planes from here. tell no one this, unless you wish to die a horrible death from a rushed attack by the two of them; followed by them soummoning thier friends

Slip: so explain more about the Dark Symbols, what are they exactly ?

Sa'vor: if i even spake thier true name or even their species name i would summon the biggest and baddest into my body, where they would take over and use me to full fill their desires

Slip: wich would be ?

Sa'vor: alcohol, women, World Domination, the usual
***
( later that night, Sa'vor paces restlessly across his cell floor, currently the black moon is in full and he feels the call of his old master Xull)
Xull: My fang, Why do you not seek to quench your first for slaughter?
Do as i command, my greatest minion, my Apprentice,
Quench your undying thirst with the blood of the crew, they have been a thorn in my side for too long

Sa'vor: GET OUT OF MY HEAD! ( Clutches at his head) I AM NO LONGER YOUR SLAVE! I SHALL NOT HUNT! I SHALL NOT DRINK OF BLOOD! I SHALL NOT BE YOUR TOOL! ( Smashes a mirror with his fist, the glass seems to flow around it, reforming with a symbol drawn in blood within it ( a red eye with a fang through the middle) )

Xull: i gave you the greatest secret of magic that there has ever been and you do not repay your debt?

Sa'vor: My debt to you has been repayed in the blood if thosands! i destroyed your foes ! i killed the Bright wyrm! i partaked of the Black scale ritual! i absorbed the shadow! i embraced the Vampiric nature of death and repayed my debt twice over!

Xull: i now want back what is mine, YOU! My greatest Fang, my claw and eye, my Servent of flesh!

Sa'vor: my power exeeds yours xull! i am stronger ! i shall not obey!

Xull: fool! you will grow weaker every day you dont drink blood! and every time you do you give me power!

Sa'vor: i shall hold! ( the vocie vanishes leaving Sa'vor alone in the dark)
***
( the next day, Sa'vor is on deck looking over the side of the ship, Slip appears next to him)
Slip: you dont look so well Sa'vor, perhaps you should eat

Sa'vor: ( pushes her away) Since when did you take intrest in my health?, the others dont, and we near the tomb every day, i feel it, but it keeps shifting position

Slip: if your ill you cant teach me, you cant get rid of the Dark Symbols, they'll capture you

Sa'vor: all the worse for them ( Sa'vor turns to sand and goes below deck)
***
Jarlot: well, at least Lisa's back to normal

Slip: but what about Kithle's plot to become the Lord of all Illithids?

Jarlot: now listen, every member of this crew is plotting world domination or somthing smaller, so why should i care?

Slip: because he's the most evil of them!

Jarlot: i dont know, Sa'vor can be pretty evil, renember the whole Naz'roth Guantlet thing?

Slip: i do, but that was with Naz'roth inside him, he's not particularly evil at the moment, Just wierd and he pays the rent for the cells

Jarlot: True but.... i still think he'll betray Kithle and leave us all dying in the dirt

Slip: maybe, maybe not
urial angel of death

02-20-06, 06:09 PM		<small pit fiend lands on deck>

pit fiend: sup biatches

sa'vor: Naz'roth is that you?

Naz'roth: that's right fool.

sa'vor I thought you were dead forever.

Naz'roth so did I but this dude offered to let me live in extange for a lot of my power, and then made me a teenage demon again :D

(Naz'roth's stats are now a reduced Hit Die pit fiend)
rampant

02-21-06, 12:42 AM		Satnak - (telepathic private channel to sa'vor) (Whats this the damned critter snuck away from me huh? and yes I can do the whole telepathy thing, my teacher said i would never need this power, said i should learn graft weapon instead. Well thats just ironic now that you think about it.)

Sneaks up on :coolcthul and *MEGAZORCH*

BLOODY MOL TELL ME I GOT THE BASTARD!!!

:coolcthul - huuuuuuheeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa.... thud (hits floor).

Satnak - The arm is burning is it supposed to do that? OW! Hey I can feel the essence ancient, dark, primordial, its DYING!! Its really dying!!! OH HELL YES I can feel its power being broken down and remade into my own. THIS BLOODY ROCKS, no possesion, no surprise i got away, none of the normal immortal shenanigins. I grab em if they use posession and boom fricassied diety. I wonder if they will harder if they use their own bodies?
Charles Phipps

02-21-06, 03:26 AM		Jarlot: Ketler, I need your help. I....WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?

Ketler: Oh, sorry, I've just been diverting my portion of the treasure to refurbishing this Warforged Juggernaut.

Jarlot: Those things cost like a million gold!

Ketler: You guys have wasted the economies of nations on booze and women.

Jarlot: Only half of it! The rest of it we spent foolishly. Besides, that's no Juggernaut.

Ketler: Yeah, I call this new model...GUNDAM.

Jarlot: I'm sure I wrote down a rule somewhere you couldn't make this.

Ketler: I used a Sir Marks A lot against that rule.

Jarlot: But yeah, I need you to go build me a machine to go exorcise the monsters in everybody.

Ketler: What do I look like? Ghostbusters?

Jarlot: You kinda resemble Egon yeah.

Ketler: Fair enough. Over on the table. Only I haven't built any traps yet. Only only chance to contain the spirit is to cross the streams and hope that we roll a 20 which will cause a subspacial rift to happen.

Jarlot: What's 1 through 19?

Ketler: Some hidiously huge explosion.

Jarlot: *powers up Atomic Fission Khyber Shard powered device* Are these things safe to point at people to get the demons out?

Ketler: Hell no!

Jarlot: Even better!
rampant

02-21-06, 07:34 PM		Satnak - Hey thats my job go back to hunting :coolcthul. I can garuntee he is free of any possesion he acquired since the current story arc.
JakeQuistis

02-21-06, 10:21 PM		"MUAHAHAHAHA!!! It's completed! My finest creation, Gear! General Purpose Elemental Powered Assault Robot! Now to stick it away in this corner along with all of my other finest creations until it is needed." Allen says, having finished work on the Gear, that looks like a Gundam-ish mecha. He then pushes it away into a corner of the room that contains several other machines, ranging in size and function.
rampant

02-22-06, 04:31 AM		Jarlot - Read the fracking list you Twerps no god ****ing gundams.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-22-06, 12:52 PM		( Currently Allen is being Holy water Liquid Keel hualed)

Sa'vor: wow, i never thought he'd last this long

Slip: you ahve a low opinion of your vampire breatherin

Sa'vor: they expolde in sunlight, how stupid is that for a design?

Slip: i dont think anyone...

Naz'roth: Nah fool, everone is knowin that Naz'roth is lord of vampires init?

Sa'vor: indeed

Naz'roth: you dissin me?

Sa'vor: no, and what are you wearing?

Naz'roth: i is wearin my bling!

Sa'vor: thats tinfoil molded as a neclace with a Large Capital "N" on it

Naz'roth: You cant diss me you little vampire, i is your prodinator, you should show some respect!

Sa'vor: Right... (Backs away slowly, staggers slightly his skin going even paler, quickly he pulls himself up )

Slip: you still havn't fed?

Sa'vor: Blood wine is particularly dangerous to Vampires

Slip: so ? just make an andtidote

Sa'vor: i could, but it would take rare ingredients that i dont have time to find

Naz'roth: Init!

Sa'vor: ( gazes over his shoulder at Naz'roth) If you insist on staying on this ship then your not staying in my cell, find your own, go live with :coolcthul he's been complaining that he hasn't got any company

Naz'roth: Aw, i wanted to share a room with you, be just like old times, we could go drinking and talk about women, init

Sa'vor: ( Raises one eybrow) we never did that anyway, we Just Burned down buildings and sought a way to make you powerful again

Naz'roth: init

Sa'vor: well, im off, got to go and sleep ( blood walks through Slip)

Slip: that was rude

Naz'roth: aye, init
****
Jarlot: ( over intercom system) All Extaplanar beings are to dwell in the cargo hold with the remaining sentient chilli

Slip: Thats jus crule

Jarlot: i dont make the rules i just enforce them

Slip: You can't use that excuse! you've made every rule on the list!

Jarlot: Oh yeah... that
***
( that night in Sa'vors Cell, The Whispering Dark has sent its champion to attack him as he sleeps)
Sa'vor: (murmering in his sleep) Cant... fight .... must ... drink... blood... must ... SLUAGHTER! ( Awakes, his eyes once again Pools of Violet flame, his Vampiric fangs Elongate and his claws extend)

Lisa: FOR THE WHISPERING DARK!
( Sa'vor in a now feral form moves like lightning and slits her throat with his claws, leaving her in a pool of blood he proceeds to hunt)
rampant

02-23-06, 02:13 PM		Satnak - Dammit whats wrong with you people, Can't you stay unpossessed long enough for me to get a decent nap?. Well here we go *OMGWHATAZORCH* BLOODY MOL THAT HURTS.

Lisa - ...

Satnak - MICKEY GET YOUR DRUNK ARSE DOWN HERE AND HEAL PALADIN... BLACKGAURD... WHATEVER SHE IS RIGHT NOW. Now to deal with our dragon problem.
Crystalforged

02-23-06, 08:26 PM		Kanatash appears out of thin air inside Kithle's room.

Kithle: (waking from his sleep) How did you get in here?! I have some of the strongest wards known to Illithid-kind on this room!

Kanatash: Yes you do and if it makes you feel better I can tell you that it was a real pain to get in here. I wouldn't come in except I needed to tell you that Sa'vor has gone on a killing spree.

Kithle: (raises his eyebrow) Really?

Kanatash: Hey, I had nothing to do with this one. Its all Sa'vor here, something about his vampiric nature and blood lust. He's already killed Lisa when the Whispering Dark tried to assassinate him and Satnak had to exorcise the Whispering Dark again.

Lisa: (appearing in a swirling pool of shadow) Not quite.

Kanatash: Interesting. It appears that the Whispering dark possesses the ability to reanimate its champion. Oh well no matter. (psionically entombs Lisa in ectoplamic cocoon)

Kithle: So the Whispering Dark has made its move. Any news on the Following Dark?

Naz'roth: (from outside the room) FASHIZZAL MA NIZZLE! AHHHHHHH, HOMIE!

Kanatash: Well, since Naz'roth was bunking in :coolcthul 's room I'd say to safe to say that it's on the move. Now where were we?

Kithle: Trying to figure out how to stop a blood mad vampire. I'm sure he's gotten to the redshirts by now but if its as bad as it sounds I don't think we have enough redshirts to sate him even with the cloning machine. We need to acquire a massive amount of blood from somewhere.

Kanatash: Actually now that you say that I have an idea. We're going to need to find a couple of sacrifices, I mean redshirts first though.

---

Not long afterwards Kanatash is using several redshirts paint a summoning circle on the deck using the blood of several other redshirts.

Kithle: So what do you plan to do?

Kanatash: I’m going to summon a blood elemental.

Kithle: Blood elemental? I’ve never heard of them.

Kanatash: Few have. They hail from what mortals would call the elemental plane of blood, a subsidiary of sorts of Xoriat. They are alien and evil creatures and the term elemental is a bit of a misnomer. Their minds are strange even by the standards of the deranged lords, no mortal has ever been able to control one and few children of Xoriat are up to the task either.

Kithle: And you came into all this information how?

Kanatash: Well during the five centuries I spent in Xoriat I visited many places and let me just say the elemental plane of blood is tropical paradise compared to some of them. Anyway, I believe the circle is almost done so I must conclude question and answer time.

As the redshirts complete the circle Kanatash telekintically grabs them and tears their hearts from their bodies. The still beating hearts are placed at the points of the circle and begin to glow. Finally a glowing tear forms between the hearts and a creature steps through. It resembles a water elemental except it is composed entirely of red, viscous blood and its form undulates, sometimes taking obscene shapes a mortal mind could not conceive.

Kithle: Ok, then we still need to find Sa’vor.

Kanatash: That shouldn’t be an issue. All this fresh blood should draw him like a moth to a flame.

As if on cue Sa’vor comes out of nowhere, pouncing towards the blood elemental.

Kanatash: You may want to take cover.

Kithle: Why? Can’t you control that thing or something?

Kanatsh: Oh, I can control it… (Sa’vor tears into the blood elemental and is absorbed into its form as a wave of blood is sent spurting into the air, drenching Kithle and passing through Kanatash) …but it may be a little messy.

Kithle: (wiping the blood from his tentacles) You don’t say.

Sa’vor: (rising from the bloody pool that is all that remains of the blood elemental aparently sated and in control) What happened?

Kanatash: You succumbed to your bloodlust and went on a killing spree of sorts. Now come with me, it’s time we did something about the Whispering and Following Darks and we’re going to need Satnak.

---

Soon in Satnak’s room…

Satnak: Why are they still possesed? (holding up her arm) I’ve blasted both this thing.

Kithle: That is a powerful weapon you have there but it lacks the precision to eliminate a possessing spirit without taking the hosts spirit as well. Those blasts simply suppressed the Dark’s influence. We need to drive them from their hosts and then have you blast them into oblivion.

Satnak: So why don’t I just keep blasting them so they stay suppressed?

Sa’vor: Are you saying you have no problem with allowing two creatures of ultimate evil to live on this ship indefinitely. (pauses) On second thought let me rephrase that. You have no problems with letting creatures with no quams about killing us… oh wait… One more try, creatures that are controlling two of the crew… ****! Fine, if we do it Kithle’s way you will get to absorb them and add to the arm’s power.

Satnak: Good enough for me. So how do we drive them out, standard exorcism gear?

Kithle: Not quite. Those creatures are too powerful for that. However possessing their hosts with an even more evil force should do the trick.

Satnak: Something even more evil? Like what?

Kanatash: (cracking knuckles) This is the kind of thing I live for.

---

Shortly after Kithle, Kanatash, Sa’vor, Satnak, and all other crew member that can still stand are on the main deck facing off against Lisa and :coolcthul .

Lisa: Face it mortals. You stand no chance against our power.

Kanatash: (appearing behind Lisa) Well I’m not a mortal, deal with it. (Dives into Lisa’s form as she begins to twitch uncontrollably)

:coolcthul : You have only delayed you doom. You cannot stop both of us.

A second Kanatsh appears behind :coolcthul .

Kanatash: The best thing about me, is there’s so many of me. Me, me, me. (dives into :coolcthul )

:coolcthul : (suddenly going stiff) Me too.

Lisa and :coolcthul fall limp to the floor and two new figures rise from their bodies. One appears like a little girl with a shadowed face and an open mouth which seems to descend into infinite darkness. The other appears to be a small boy with long claw-like nails, pointed teeth, and a forked tongue.

Whispering Dark: You may have forced us from our champions but you cannot defeat us so easily. Your souls shall be ours.

Kithle: Are you joking? We have some of most powerful individuals from Eberron and beyond on this crew and a weapon that can slay deities.

Following Dark: True, we cannot defeat you alone but we have sent out the call for our fellows. You may defeat some of us but you will be overcome sooner or later. (a glowing sigil starts to appear behind the crew) THEY COME!

The symbol grows to become a circle and inside the circle appears a flower shaped design. The flowers grow to cover the entire wall and change into a variety of gaudy colors.

Whispering Dark: (slapping her face) Oh, by the shadow not him!

Following Dark: This is so embarrassing.

The flowers coalesce into a little boy who begins running around everyone like a 8-year-old on a sugar rush, under a haste spell.

Following Dark: It’s our little cousin, Floral Dark.

Whispering dark: He’s… Well…

Floral Dark: Heywhatsthis?Ohhhhhhhhabigweaponarmthing y.That’scoolIwonderwhatitdoes.Heylookwha tIdidwith mysymbol!Isn’titcoooooool.CanIplaywithyo ursymbolsnow?Wowanelemental,Iwantaneleme ntalIwantanelementalIwantanelementalIwan tanelementalIwantanelemental.I’llsummono nethen(a fire elemental appears from thin air)Yeah,elementalplaywithmeplaywithmepl aywithme.I’mboardnow.Iwanttoplaywithsome thingelse!

Whispering Dark: Yeah…

Following Dark: (exasperated) Why couldn’t it be anyone else?

Kithle: I think I have an idea which would be mutually beneficial. How about you go back to where ever the **** you came from and stop bothering us. In return we make sure he’s never heard from again. (Kithle gestures towards Floral Dark and Satnak cocks her arm)

Whispering Dark: (Looking pleadingly) Would you.

Following Dark: If you can, deal.

Kithle: Of course, Satnak, my dear?

Satnak takes careful aim and catches Floral Dark in midstride with a blast of energy.

Floral Dark: Oooooooh,prettycolors.Ilikeprettycolors, shinyshinyshiny.Lotsofprettyco (cuts off suddenly as Floral Dark is drawn into Satnak’s arm)

Satnack: I feel somehow violated by this.

Whispering Dark: You have our gratitude. We will leave you now and we shall not return.

Following Dark: However, we cannot make any promises on the behalf of our siblings though I doubt many of them will be interested in you now. Adieu. (both step backwards into the shadow and fade from sight)

---

Several hours later in Mickey’s makeshift hospital Jarlot is sitting next to Lisa’s unconscious form.

Lisa: (Slowly stirring) Ugh, what happened to me? I feel like I just ate a batch of 12 alarm d’Norbaz and washed it down with a liquid keelhauling.

Jarlot: An ancient evil force possessed you, but you probably shouldn’t hold that against Kanatash. He did it to drive the Whispering Dark out of you.

Lisa: But what happened? Everything from the last few days is a blur.

Jarlot: Well you were taken over by the Whispering Dark and went on a rampage. The ship is critically damaged and the majority of the crew is sharing sick bay with you right now.

Lisa: By the flame what have I done!

Jarlot: You’ve done a fair amount of dark acts but on the bright side I expect that most of the crew is so scared of you now that you should have an easier time with all that goody-goody, righteousness stuff you do.

Lisa: That’s sort of an improvement, I think.

Jarlot: Yes, well, you just go back to recovering for now and don’t be bothered by :coolcthul . He should be waking up soon.

:coolcthul : (from the bed next to Lisa) Whoa dude, that had to be one ugly trip. I don’t feel so hot.

Jarlot: (walking away) Well that only leaves one thing. (outside the room) Michael, come here!

Michael: Whatcha want capn’?

Jarlot: (handing Lisa’s old hammer to him) I want you to take this to Lisa and after you give it to her I want you to grab her chest.

Michael: And why the **** should I do that? There’s no way I’m going to give her a weapon and then give her a reason to hit me with it.

Jarlot: I thought you might say that. Kanatash! If you help me I’ll cut down the length of your sessions with the old dwarf lady!

Kanatash: (floating out of the wall) If you insist. (psionically dominates Michael) I’m sure you understand this isn’t personal. I’m just looking out for my own best interest. I know in the same situation you’d do the same.

Michael mechanically walks into Lisa’s room and drops the warhammer in her hands before proceeding to grope her.

Lisa: Why you little! (begins smiting evil)

Jarlot: Good, she has her paladin abilities back. All is right in the world.

Kanatash: Well as close as they ever get on this ship. I’m sure that won’t last long either.
Lord Kale Fangblade

02-24-06, 02:20 PM		( The Terribly shadowy place of pure evil, the Liar of the Ultimate Dark)
Ultimate Dark: So, Floral dark is dead i trust?

Whispering Dark: Yes master, we saw it happen

Ultimate Dark: Calling Dark, how strong do you say this crew is?

Calling Dark: they where fully capable of subduing the reaper from Sa'vors mind, so they are quite capable of stoping many of us

Whispering Dark: yes, that is true, but they're minds are weakened by insanity, the only mind i was not capable of bending to my will when required was Sa'vors, his mind was strangly shielded, though his old Master calls

Ultimate Dark: Yes, i have seen it, his future is clear

Following Dark: what would that be?

Ultimate Dark: He is the one who leads the Lord of the Illithids to power, he is the one who leads the Chosen one into the shadows

Following dark: i have seen this chosen one master, he is but a drunk fool

Ultimate Dark: Until he reaches the tomb he is so, we shall not let them reach the tomb or gather that eye of Prohecy

Following Dark: who shall you send o lord?

Ultimate Dark: I shall Send ... The Dancing Shadows

Following dark: *gasp* are you sure thats really neccesary?

Calling Dark: My lord, I shall go with the Dancing Shadows and make sure it suceedes

Ultimate Dark: Inplant the message in out summoner, go now!

Calling Dark: yes master, i obey !
****
( Hoybe moves silently for an old man, he walks down to the cargo bay and begins and makes a octogram out of blood on the floor, he begins to chant and the shadows swirl to form the Calling Dark Symbol)

Hoybe: My Masters, Do you have a task for me at this late hour where the Dark becomes one ?

Calling Dark: We do

Hoybe: so be it, what would this be?

Calling Dark: prepare to have the Dancing Shadowsdwell in your mind for a time, when you reach the tomb, invoke my symbol along side a few of my brethering and we will reward you by all possessing your body indefinatly

Hoybee: you honour me my masters!

Calling Dark: indeed
( from the shadows Sa'vor, Kithle and Kantash watch)
Sa'vor: well, this is intresting

Kithle: i wonder... is he possessed ?

Sa'vor: most definatly, i've noticed that he could actualy read recently

Kantash: should me move in on them?

Sa'vor: No, they must belive their plan has worked, we shall prepar to beat them once we get to the tomb

Kantash: how powerful is the Dancing Shadows?

Sa'vor: imagin a god.. good... now imagin a god of shadows that is more powerful than any other.. good... not imagin a god of dance and music gets absorbed by the Shadow god... good.. now give said god almost invincibility and mastery over... *shuders* the musical

Kithle: oh dear sweet kyber , how would we stop it?

Sa'vor: i ... errr... dont know

Kantash and Kithle: YOU DONT KNOW!

Sa'vor: i never had to find out, it will take me some studying, we better leave now
Rei32491

02-24-06, 08:17 PM		I have wanted to put this char in for awhile now.
Muradin LE Dwarf lvl 10 fighter lvl 3 Stone Lord
The FF picked up Muradin in a port. The crew had stopped to stock up on red-shirts and booze. Muradin, not being that smart, saw a group of red-shirts and followed them on board. The crew has discovered that Muradin likes to smash stuff - a lot, and it is unwise to stand in the way of what he wants to smash. His companion earth elemental tries to keep Muradin out of trouble but is unable to speak any language except Terran. Muradin is so stupid that he sometimes forgets that he summoned the earth elemental and thinks that it's a monster - and tries to smash it. He somehow came to find the bloodcrier's hammer, and somehow he unlocked the legacy abilities despite his complete lack of intelligence. Muradin also has a Belt of Giant's strength and a Gauntlets of Ogre power, but is too stupid to realize that they do not stack. Muradin is for some reason very loyal to Squishy and will do almost anything that he says.
4833: Any rule that has previous stated that Erk or the warforged can't do something - DO NOT TELL MURADIN TO DO THIS THIS!!!!!
4834: Takeing off all of your equipment/clothes does not make you invisible.
4835: If you hear Muradin's war-cry "MURADIN SMASH" run from any object that is possible smashable.
Crystalforged

02-24-06, 09:30 PM		4836. For the last time there is no Batman on this ship.

4837. And no, Bruce Ki is not Batman

4838. He might be Chuck Norris though

4839. Why? Because if he's Chuck Norris he can't be Batman

4840. No, Chuck Norris cannot be Batman's secret identity

4841. I told you, Bruce Ki isn't Chuck Norris or Batman!

4842. Listen, Chuck Norris is not Batman!

4843. And Bruce Ki is not the secret identity of Chuck Norris!

4844. Who, once again, is not the secret identity of Batman!

4845. I think I've created a monster



Doog: Hey guys! The captain says Bruce Ki is really Chuck Norris and Batman!
LugWrench

02-25-06, 01:50 AM		4846. The Warforged is not USB-compliant.
4847. The next person to fiddle around with the time-clock and their time cards gets keelhauled by his toenails.
4848. Tabitha does taxes, she is NOT a 'bloodsucking, money-grubbing, government stooge'.
4849. Hells, just about the whole crew is money grubbing.
4850. Booze is not our currency.
4851. Neither is it barter.
4852. Michael is not the baddest man in town.
4853. Leroy Brown is the baddest man in the whole damn town.
4854. The Warforged did not come with a User Agreement.
4855. Even if he did, said Agreement does not involve Michael getting his pick of female crew members.
4856. The captain does, however, get 30% of the take.
4857. Cause hes the CAPTAIN, thats why.
4858. That, and hes the only person who will actually put up with this bunch of expendable jerks.
rampant

02-25-06, 02:17 AM		Satnak - I hope the chilis good tonight Floral dark just doesn't stick to the ribs.

Dooj - Wait a tick you like the chili?!

Satnak - Yeah why not?

Dooj - That stuff gives Red Dragons heartburn!!

Satnak - Peh Dragons are pansies. You ever seen one try to use a hammer? Its hil-larry-ass.

Dooj - Why was a dragon using a hammer?

Satnak - He knocked over an orphanage i told him to put it back to gether.

Dooj - But why did he do it?

Satnak - I... Told... Him... To. (GLARE)

Dooj - ULP... yes maam


4859. Satnak is not allowed to glare at crew members anymore.
4860. Unless they really deserve it.
4861. Dooj stop hiding behind Erk, he can't protect you no matter how much bigger he is than Satnak.
Charles Phipps

02-25-06, 02:50 AM		Bruce Ki: Hey guys.

Jarlot: Where the frack have you been?

Bruce Ki: Oh, at the tournament.

Jarlot: Tournament?

Bruce Ki: There's always a tournament.

Jarlot: Uh huh.

Bruce Ki: I brought some friends over to visit.

Ryu: Yo.

Ken: Hey man.

Chun Li: Yatai!

Bruce Ki: Chun Li weirdly doesn't speak any sensible Chinese but....

Jarlot: HELLOooooooo.

Chun Li: SPINNING BIRD KICK!

Ryu: OOoooooo

Ken: Ouch!

Jarlot: Feisty!

Bruce Ki: But yes, basically, while at the tournament I contacted my true inner self and realized I'm actually a Gold Dragon of Argonessan and that I'm truly the Grand Protector of the Universe against the Cosmic Unbalancers. Therefore, I have decided to spend most of my days from now on looking wise and powerful while randomly picking fights with those I view as unbalancing the universe.

Jarlot: I like Chinese girls. Does she have a sister?

Bruce Ki: Captain Jarlot....

Jarlot: I've played that fighting game. There's one called Sakura right? Or Kitana?

Bruce Ki: You like to get beat up....

Jarlot: Part of the reason I stay onboard with Lisa and Marish uses claws...rowr.

Bruce Ki: I will need meditation and clorax to get that image out of my head. In any case, I must go contemplate my Animality.

Jarlot: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go knock off Kanatash's doppleganger. There's one too many of those.

Bruce Ki: Excellent, my chance to use my new weapon....

Jarlot: What...the...HELL are those?

Bruce Ki: Sword chucks! Yo! Two katana on a chain! Twice the cool!
Rei32491

02-25-06, 10:54 AM		Muradin is stareing off into space. Bolt-Tooth-Tony sneeks up and shoots Muradin in the back with his cross-bow.
Muradin: Ouch, why did you shoot me?
B.T.T.: It wasn't me.
Muradin: - oh ok.
Lisa walks up to B.T.T.
Lisa: WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM
B.T.T. umm i didn't do it
Lisa: you really think that will work on me?
B.T.T.: um - yes
Lisa: too bad.
Lisa takes her hammer and beats B.T.T until he is a heap on the ground.
Muradin: why did you do that? He didn't shoot me.
Lisa shakes her head and walks away.
Muradin: (looks at B.T.T.)hmm that thing looks familiar.
Muradin flashes back to his childhood when he was playing with his friend Volrath.
Volrath: ok Muradin what ever you do don't read this book (holds up a covered book), because it will be very bad for you.
Muradin: oh ok.
Two weeks later
Volrath: Hey Muradin i'm going to look for some spell components for my dad, i will be back.
Muradin: ok but come back soon - poo.
After Volrath leaves Muradin forgets Volrath's warning and starts reading the covered book. He gets to a page where theirs a picture of a pile of flesh (looks like a human on the ground in a heap). The book starts glowing and the creature comes to life and attacks Muradin, after a painful hour of being beatin nearly to death, the creature goes back into the book (end of flashback).
(Present time) Muradin: Wait, I know what that is!
B.T.T.: (moves weakly) what happened.
Muradin: MURADIN SMASH
B.T.T oh :censored:
Muradin hits B.T.T with hammer
B.T.T :help:
Dex

02-26-06, 01:31 AM		Again, what's with all the dwarves?

Those sword-chucks reminded me of the lightsaber-chucks off the SWRPG boards, funny stuff.

4862. Dooj, don't play with Bruce-Ki's sword-chucks. You'll...

After the bodies of several redshirts and Dooj's severed arms are cleaned up and sewn back on...

4863. Nobody plays with the sword-chucks without the requisite Exotic Weapon Proficiency Feat...
4864. Not that there are such things, of course.
4865. Stoopid the Warforged doesn't need more RAM.
4866. Nor a new motherboard.
4867. Though he could do with an Antistatic Feild Spell, just so the old dwarven lady doesn't have to dust him every day.
4868. Because it's embarrasing, that's why!
Charles Phipps

02-26-06, 03:39 AM		OOC:

Yeah, we need a wiki for this. How do we find a category to request it under is the question....perhaps Eberron fandom...

IC:

Kanatash: Captain, I'd like to speak with you.

Jarlot: SHHH! Be verrrrrrrry quiet. I'm huntin' :coolcthul.

Kanatash: You've....got to be kidding me.

*FLUSSSHHHHH*

:coolcthul: *exits bathroom* Oh my goodness, that chili doesn't stay with you does it.

Jarlot: *fires shotgun*

Kanatash: Captain, gunpowder doesn't work on this astral plane. You need SMOKEPOWDER.

Jarlot: Gawd damn you MALCOLM RENYOLDS! YOU CHEATED ME AGAIN!

:coolcthul: Oh hi Captain! I knitted you a sweater!

Jarlot: It has eight arms.

:coolcthul: Whoops! Sorry! This is one for my niece.

Kanatash: I need to basically talk about your issues of attempting to kill me.

Jarlot: What gives you that idea?

Kanatash: The fact you're not even trying to hide it. The bylaws for example have it stenciled in "All laws about leaving no one behind do not apply to Kanatash or :coolcthul:. Is this about driving you insane?

Jarlot: Maybe.

Kanatash: I point out you were hardly playing with a full stack to begin with. The schizophrenia where you believe Dol Dorn talks to you is an example.

Jarlot: Ha! Next you'll tell me the ship's resident artificer doesn't have a Cylon lingerie model talking to him that only he can see.

Kanatash: No, that's just Ketler being a very lonely man.

Jarlot: Well while I certainly can't forgive :coolcthul: for being a dirty, dirty, Lovecraftian horror. I might be willing to make peace with you for being just plain evil.

Kanatash: Please, I'm hardly plain. Just please stop encouraging this ridiculous attempts on my life.

Jarlot: Like?

Bruce Ki: Okay, crouch forward, move one space, and then punch should allow me to do the fireball....

Jarlot: ...you may have a point.

Bruce Ki: SHORYUKEN!

*eight of the ship's dwarves are struck by the fireball and fall to their grizzly demises*

Jarlot: You know, I should have enough money from the life insurance policies I take on every crewman to finally raise that world conquering army soon.

Kanatash: Suffice to say Captain, my offer is simple. Don't encourage the crew to do anything more dastardly to me and I'll not do something horribly damaging psychologically.

Jarlot: Like what? Make me a crossdresser like you did Dooj?

*Dooj walks out in a pink and frilly dress wearing watermelons on his feet*

Kanatash: I don't remember telling him to do that.....Captain, have you been spiking the crews food with dreamlily to keep us docile again?

Jarlot: At that cost? Hell no! I use Jarlot Brand Immitation DreamlilyTM!

Kanatash: I see and no, my revenge would be far worse.

Jarlot: Like what?

Kanatash: I'll conjure up an image of your late father.

Jarlot: Uhh....I don't have a father.

King Kaius: YOU COMPLETE DISAPPOINTMENT! YOU CALL YOURSELF AN EVIL OVERLORD!? I'm a vampire King with an undead army!

Jarlot: Oh no!

Kanatash: I wasn't aware that you were King Kaius'....son...or that vampires could have children.

Jarlot: Shut up! I've made huge progress in becoming an evil overlord!

Kaius: Like what? Your mother may defend you but I won't!

Erandis D'Vol: *cries*

Jarlot: I may be the product of a horrible magical experiment but that's no reason to tell me how to run my life! *cries and runs to the doors*

King Kaius: Damnit, now *I'LL* show you how to run a world conquering army of evil!

Kanatash: Hmmm....I have a bad feeling about this.

Ketler: Hey, Kanatash, do me a favor and don't draw on anyone's memories for the next couple of days. I was experimenting with an Elan we captured and basically if you do then the Quori spirit will escape and take the form of the worst fear you draw out.....especially don't do Michael or we'll have bunnies all running around.

Michael: I am not afraid of bunnies! What happened with King Arthur (son of King Steve, the now also late King of Breland) was completely a one time thing!

Ketler: Sure....

Michael: Look at the bones!

OOC: Hey, in honor of having made it this far, list your favorite and SECOND favorite characters from this thread and why.
Quenditar

02-26-06, 04:52 AM		4869: The Forgotten Freedom is not an intraplanar passenger liner.
4870: It doesn't matter what the nightshade offered, we are not dropping it off in the City of the Dead.
4871: Ketler is forbidden to repair the holes in the hull with dryad-infested livewood.
4872: Even if he can get the dryads to dress like Jaela.

OOC:

1. Ketler. I like artificers.
2. Kanatash. He hasn't taken away from the original flavor of the crew like many of the new characters while still being very colorful. And "Kanatash" is fun to say.
JakeQuistis

02-26-06, 12:44 PM		4873: No one is left behind, unless they have a means of getting back to the ship besides walking. Then you can leave them behind as many times as you want.
4874: Sticking jetpacks onto the warforged so that you can leave them behind is not allowed. And neither is trying to get Ketler to make some for you.
4875: No one at all is allowed to build anything without the Captain's permission. And if you do, you will be doubly flogged, or the Captain's choice of punishment, for a month.
And I like Jarlot, because he's an insane captain who somehow has managed to stay the most sane out of any of the members, and :coolcthul, because he rocks.
turalisj

02-26-06, 01:24 PM		4876: If a hafling comes aboard and is able to drink five times his wieght in ale, then do not try and punch him out.


One of my players learned this the hard way.....
Kinger

02-26-06, 01:25 PM		Michael will always be a favorite of mine. He's a blackguard, the archetypical evil-doer, but really he's just a jerk.

As for the second, that's a toughy, since there's so many with great comedic potential. Most of the originals are great. Marish, Ketler, Stupid, the ever-creepy Kanatash, and the Captain himself (though I've noticed a transition from idealistic-but-misunderstood to sure-sacrifice-the-crew-if-I-get-a-cut-or-am-too-drunk-to-notice). I always thought V was great, too, even though he seems to have been forgotten recently. I still snigger at "Where's Lucky?"
Crystalforged

02-26-06, 04:24 PM		For my favorite character would have to be Kanatash. Yeah, I'm biased, I know. I may created him origionaly and I'm responsible for the majority of his plots but I can't help it. I just love playing the aspect of being really creepy and totally insane. It helps me vent the crazy so I don't start doing nutty things in real life... ...often. :P

For my second favorite I think I would go with Sa'vor just because he leaves open so many posibilities for plotlines.



Oh, and Kinger on the topic of V. I kind of have a theory on why some characters seem to disappear while others are everywhere. It seems to me that the only characters that survive are the ones who are really iconic and different from the other characters in some way. V was a good character in his own right but his concept ("moraly challenged", Jaela obscession, etc) seems rather similar to characters like Michael or Doog. So any part that he could play appropriately in a plotline just ended up being given to someone else.
rampant

02-26-06, 07:19 PM		I liked the soulknife, and the dwarf lady is just plain funny. I she the one who taught :coolcthul to knit sweaters?
Dex

02-27-06, 07:17 PM		Fav characters:

1) Mickey Nine-fingers. Come on, how cool is a Burbon of Restoration? or a Vodka martini of Cure Minor (so you have to drink lots of them ;))?

2) Norbaz the Cooky. Chilli d'Norbaz, anyone? or that escape from the Thrannish Inquisition's Capital Airship and subsequent interregation?

Thranish Admiral - I can stand the worst you can offer villain. You and your...is that a whisk?

3) Sorry but everyone else deserves a mention. ALL OF THEM. The Forgotten Freedom would not be what it is without them. Oh and I have a current complete list if you need it too.
Charles Phipps

02-27-06, 08:46 PM		3) Sorry but everyone else deserves a mention. ALL OF THEM. The Forgotten Freedom would not be what it is without them. Oh and I have a current complete list if you need it too.

Please do Share.

;-)
Rei32491

02-27-06, 10:56 PM		1.Pholly, because he somehow makes alchemist fire explode

2.Kanatash, due to his combined creepyness and evilness


(Their are only 3 Dwarfs, compair that to the # of humans)
rampant

02-28-06, 04:16 AM		Does that iclude clones?

If so just don't bother counting.
Kaizer_Ryu

03-01-06, 10:26 AM		4877: During bombing raids, yelling "durka durka jihad" is frowned upon

4878: Especially when bombing anywhere in Thrane

4879: Convincing John to use Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke while doing so is a keelhaulable offense

4880: Because use of BCTN was explicitly reserved for the Captain earlier in this list

4881: BECAUSE I'M THE CAPTAIN, THAT'S WHY!

4882: You are not allowed to tell any if our INT dump-stat crew members to do any of this

4883: Convincing the Ninja Jaela to do any of this merits a keelhauling

4884: Convincing the real Jaela to do any of this will result in a keelhauling (liquid and regular) and being assigned as Pholly's assistant for the next week
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-01-06, 12:18 PM		the captain is the funniest for me, he's just far too mutable, after a couple of weeks with this crew he's turned into a mad man and a iconic evil villain... i even think this crew is affecting my sanity ( what was left of it).

my second, most probably dooj, he's so much like jayne from firefly its scary. he's also the iconic example of a man who enjoys the simple pleasuer in life and also, he's much like a few people i know.

though Kithles my third, he's just so damn Manipulative!

you know, i think anyone who casts detect evil within ten miles of these people is going to be emotionly scarred forever ...
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-01-06, 12:49 PM		( The Tombs of Qulithkask, entrance)
Sa'vor: This is it! we've found them at last!

Slip: your voice is echoing again

Sav'or: Is it?

Jarlot: yes it is, and its slightly annoying

Sa'vor: i cant help it, its the proximity to powerful magic

Kithle: your near me all the time and i ate scholar

Sa'vor: thats because your always keeping an eye on me and anyway, this magic is Hyper Epic Magic, its pretty nasty stuff if it leaks

Kantash: i know, its like Xoriat all over again

Dooj: are we going to go in our are we going to sit here all day and talk

V: ( still on dreamlily) wow, its all sparkly

Sa'vor: Indeed, dooj is right, lets get moving

Jarlot: *AHEM*

Sa'vor: sorry captain

Jarlot: okay, lets get moving
( the huge doors open and they step inside, before them is a chamber plated in gold)
ALL: WOW

Sa'vor: intresting ( examins the walls of the chamber to find theres handprints there) this appears to give you access to all the knowledge placed here ( puts hands on handprints)

Kithle: you okay?

Sa'vor: (removes hands) good kyber that was wierd
rampant

03-01-06, 10:33 PM		Kithle - What just happened? and do I want in on it?

Satnak - Oh Mol, whenever those two get like it means more work for me.

Chalky - (is too busy pulling off gold plate to care)
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-02-06, 12:52 PM		Sa'vor: ( before him he sees a huge magical battle raging between the dragons and the demons, thosands of spells shatter the ground before him, wierd magical effects and CGI are all about) The Shadow, this is awsome!
( he rasies his hand and all of the battle stops, the image fades and he appears in a dark void, around him float the ghosts of those who placed thier knowledge here)

Sa'vor: oh Kyber, its the greatest necromancer of all time! Naur!

Naur: yes young one, it is i, the master of necromancy. you have come here to glean knowledge form us?

Sa'vor: (bows) yes, i have, i have also brought the prophecised ones and thier compatriots

Naur: you have honoured your blood line, before you gain our knowledge you must pass a test ( a door of black wood appears) step through the door Sa'vor

( Sa'vor steps through the door and appears in a arena surrounded by thousands of skeletal mages whom all cheer as he enters screaming "Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood! ", before him lies a huge portculis that raises slowly to reveal the draconic form of Xull)
Xull: (roars) time to die half-breed!
( he slams his huge claws into the ground sa'vor had been standing on, Sa'vor is now hovering above the ground letting off wave after wave of Arcane blasts, followed by a barrage of Psionic bursts)
Xull: ( raises a magical shield and lashes out with a burst of fire) You cant win ! i am all powerful! i made you!
( Sa'vor hit by the flame is knocked onto his back where he lies prone, Xull moves in and raises his large foot to crush him. Sa'vor leaps to his feet and brings his Scythe to bear, the weapon removes Xulls Head)
Sa'vor: bah, all powerful my ***
rampant

03-02-06, 07:00 PM		Kithle - He has 1 minute to snap out of this and explain before I do this the easy way.
Phantomcrossing

03-02-06, 08:21 PM		Norbaz - Wait a second? You ate Scholar? I thought that warforged couldn't get the brain drain? Regardless I don't think it should just come to tha- hey he's coming to.
Dex

03-03-06, 01:56 AM		4885. The Redshirts are not allowed to do whatever Sa'vor just did.
4886. Chalky, that gold plate is crew loot!
4887. And by crew loot, I mean my loot.

I believe Ketler was able to eat Scholar's brain on account that the varient clone machine made an exact opposite, and Stupid THX-1138 didn't have any brains at all either due to his INT or his race. However, because Scholar was a warforged, and therefore a construct with the living subtype, the loss of his brain did not affect him (having made a bootable backup disk ;) )

The crew list (current as I believe) is here in the minimal info format (ie: name, race, AL (if any) class/level if known etc):
http://spaces.msn.com/sethslair/

If anyone has any updates, post comments either there or here (such as John the Keel's actual stats or telling me that Emma Hunter's stats are indeed different to Jacob Hunter's). Feel free to copy and reproduce.
rampant

03-03-06, 03:46 AM		Kithle - I explained this already, he was a bear at the time. Now sleeping beauty there has to a five count until I make him a moot point.

5...
4...


Back at the ship

Elemental - i feel really dumb turns out the whole time my name was earl.

John - probably a result of being a race with a massive int penalty.

Earl - :ahem *boltofice*

John - Duuude t-thats cold. When did you become a kineticist? and why Ice?

Earl - well this whole being an airship thing leaves a lot of time for thought once you get the hang of it.

John - but ice?

Earl - eh... enough artificers screw up the binding ritual and you learn what chemicals cuase what to do what.
Pocalem

03-04-06, 02:25 PM		4888: "The halfling is not allowed to bluff the goblin cleric into buying a mouldy blanket for 3000gp, then letting the cleric get high because he burned it."

4889: "Nor is anyone allowed to try it on the warforged cleric"
Endless_Helix

03-04-06, 05:45 PM		4888: "The halfling is not allowed to bluff the goblin cleric into buying a mouldy blanket for 3000gp, then letting the cleric get high because he burned it."

Well, crap. Anyone got a plan B?

OOC:

My favorites are a lot of the un-used ones. I mean Smig, the Ashbound who tried to poison Sharn a couple times. V. Klaz the dinosaur hunter who liked dinos a bit too much. Ajihazi the schizotypical Kalashtar with DID. The tax collector dwarf (forgot her name). The Awakened Toilet with a weak stomach.

A lot of these were pretty much one joke characters who played around with the pulp stereotypes. Aside from attempting to kidnap Jaela every fifteen seconds, V had few other jokes going for him. Ajihazi, my own creation, got stuck with one of the worst jokes about Doog and his "Trouser Titan". I honestly can't recall a joke that Smig ever really got labelled with, which is probably why he never really got used. Jarlot is probably the most versitile of the group just because he pretty much hates everyone and wants to kill them. John seems to have caught on for some reason. Originally his whole shtick was to try to get Ketler to make him arms so he could hug people. Then he caught enlightenment, and everything seemed to go nuts from there.

personally, I like to think that all these unused characters are off somewhere, relaxing in on the Zilargo Beaches, sipping their favorite drink, and enjoying the sweet, sweet silence.

IC again

Ajihazi, Smig, Klaz, and V are sitting on a beach. Everyone is in their bathing suits except V who's in a bathing suit with his cape and requisite mask. They're playing poker.

V: Do you ever wonder what the crew on the Forgotte-

Smig: Don't ever say that name again. Dear Olian! We barely survived that madness!

Klaz: Mmm. I'll raise you two seashells.

Ajihazi *looks up and sees two gnomish children crying because their cat is up in the tree nearby*: I'll fold. I have to save that kitten.

V: But... I mean don't you ever get curious? I'll see your bet and raise you a seashell as well.

Klaz: Not really. I've got my shielas, beer, and you guys. Don't need much else.

V: Yeah but... I mean, we wouldn't have to be playing for seashells if we were back there.

Smig: Gold is supposed to be in the ground. Seashells are natural. I think you're just frustrated because you can't overthrow Zilargo.

Klaz: And besides, we never got any of the swag anyway. Alright, everyone done betting?

Off in the distance, Ajihazi is talking with the kids. He quickly climbs up the tree and grabs the kitten.

V: yep

Smig: Show 'em

Ajihazi has gotten down and is in the process of handing the kids their kitten back. Suddenly his face goes slack. Then his eyes glow red. The kids shrink back. He grins evilly as he tears the kitten apart with his bare hands. The kids run away screaming.

Klaz: Dammit!

V: I thought I completely had all of you!

Smig: Ha! Pair of twos, ace high wins!

Klaz: Wait a second...

V: Hunh?

Ajihazi: Heeheeheeheehee...

Klaz: What's so funny?

Ajihazi: The templar totally thought he had saved the kitten, but I came through and ripped it to pieces! Heeheehee...

V: Oooh-kay... Um

Ajihazi: They totally didn't see it coming either. Suckers. Stupid little halfbreed thinks he can rule me? Hah! That'll show hi- gluh...

Smig: I guess there's something modern medicine is good for. Nothing.

Klaz: Anyway, how come there are 6 twos?

V: Oh... I knew there was something fishy about that...

Smig: I didn't do it.

Klaz: I can't use magic.

V: Neither can I. Especially when I've had this much dreamlily. *Waves hand towords five crates about 10 feet off*

Ajihazi: Gah! Why am I covered in this icky red stuff?

Smig: You ripped a kitten apart with your bare hands.

Ajihazi looks at Smig and begins to cry.

Smig: Oh Khyber... alright... alright. Ajihazi! Bath time!

Ajihazi looks up, smiles and runs off into the ocean.

V:Now that's over with, who dealt this mess?
Kinger

03-04-06, 06:21 PM		Yeah... Smig is a character that would fit well in the crew (being unorthodox, self-interested, and of questionable morality), but there isn't a whole lot about him that's funny. There's only so many times the distant towers of Sharn can collapse while Smig whistles nonchalantly onboard the FF before it stops being funny. And by "so many times" I mean never.
rampant

03-04-06, 06:50 PM		wait smig can't be retired!!!

We need him for the doldornmas parties.

Scholar refuses to polymorph into anything Kithle could eat, and we need a reindeer come the 12th month.
Crystalforged

03-05-06, 12:54 AM		Back to the main storyline...

Kithle: Thats it. His brain is mine. I always wanted to know what dragon brains tasted like.

Kanatash: (from a corner of the room where he is eating popcorn) Hold on there my compatriot. I want to see how this turns out. The fight was better than a staring contest between two beholders.

Kithle: What the **** are you talking about? What fight?

Kanatash: Oh, sorry. The one taking place inside Sa'vor's mind right now. The spirits of this place are testing him and it was quite an impressive fight.

Doog: Why were you watching his mind in the first place?

Kanatash: Oh, I'm always watching. I watch everyone, all the time. I moniter you all mentally and visually.

Doog: Thats kind of creepy...

Kanatash: It's what I do.

Lisa: I think he's bluffing. He can't be watching the entire crew every minute of every day.

Kanatash: Oh? Then how would I know about that birthmark you have on your back.

Lisa: The only way you could see that would be if I was... WHY YOU LITTLE. (readies hammer for smiting)

Kanatash: How many times do I have to remind you? Incorperal miss chance. Besides I'm sure there will be plenty of things in this tomb that need smiting and if you really feel the need you can find me any time.

Lisa stalks off mumbling something about insane Kalashtar.

Kanatash: (calling after her) And don't think about trying to get Kelter to make your hammer ghost touch. I already have an "arangement" with him.

Michael: Um, Kanatash? Any chance I can get my hands on some pictures of that "birthmark"?

Kanatash: Probably, but I expect something in return.

Michael: Um, I really don't feel like selling my soul here.

Kanatash: Oh, please. What would I want with a pathetic mortal soul. I was thinking of having you aquire some test subjects for my experiments. The captain seems to have a bit of a problem with me corrupting too many redshirts so I am trying to look into some alternate sources.

Michael: Is that all? I think I can manage that without too much difficulty.

Kanatash: Excelent. Now I should go back to watching Sa'vor. I don't want to miss what happens next.
Dex

03-05-06, 05:19 AM		The Awakened Toilet with a weak stomach.

They awakened a toilet ??!! :uh-huh: I thought there was a rule or something against that...
Endless_Helix

03-05-06, 07:03 AM		Maybe a moral one, but not by the RAW, surprisingly. I mean... Poor toilets....

EDIT: If you mean on this list, then yeah. It was in response to Ketler going a little crazy with the awaken spells during the Dol Dornmas party. Apparently he got blind drunk and created a maximized wand of Awaken. Which is now securely at the bottom of the ocean.
rampant

03-05-06, 07:59 AM		Kithle - ooh this is interesting, I should have realized his psychic defenses were down earlier what did I miss. Hey I can riffle through his memory. So thats how that spell works, oooh thats how he shields his mind. That won't work anymore. Score the black mail material, oh yes this almost makes up for not getting to eat him.
Phantomcrossing

03-05-06, 09:34 AM		Huh, what if some ocean dwelling race gets ahold of it and awakens the Tarrasque?
Endless_Helix

03-05-06, 03:22 PM		Well...... You asked for it.

Mr. T awakened tarrasque

A bunch of Sahaugin got stoned after huffing sulferic vents, and found a weird stick, Ketlers maximsed wand of awaken. They started laughing and pointing it at eachother. One pretended to duck, eliciting much laughter from his friends; at least, until they saw what loomed behind him. They quickly dissappeared, and Mr T awoke. Mr T now rules a small sahaugin community in Shargon's teeth. He calls it his "neighborhood". About once a day, he takes a few of his subjects and plays with them as if they were dolls, talking to them and for them. He then leaves, singing, "It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood..."
rampant

03-05-06, 08:22 PM		Wow, and I thought Lucifer was evil.
Phantomcrossing

03-06-06, 02:06 AM		huh, interesting, its amazing how many things an awakened Tarrasque can be to many people, my friend has a Gentleman Tarrasque in his Eberron....he's a good employer.


Norbaz - Well when is he going to wake us up and explain the situation?

Kanatash - That's not important, this is possibly the most amazing fight of I've ever seen.

Dooj - Can you get us to see this action?
Rei32491

03-06-06, 11:11 PM		Elsewhere in the tomb, Muradin and Naz'roth are walking through a hidden passage when they come across a large room.

Muradin: Big.

Naz'roth: Ya fool.

As they search the room, they come across an alcove containing a 30-foot long Khyber shard.

Naz'roth: :mymy:

In awe, Naz'roth starts creeping toward the shard with his hands out-streched, drooling. As Muradin stares at the shard, Volrath's voice echoes in his mind.

(Flashback)
Volrath: Now Muradin, see this? (holds up a palm sized khyber shard)

Muradin: OOOH SHINY!!!!

Volrath: DO NOT touch this, it's very important to me, and if you touch this I will inflict indescrible pain upon you, understand?

Muradin: Poo

Volrath: Ok, I'm going to leave the Khyber shard right here (sets it on the ground) because I can't take it where I'm going. I want you to make sure nobody touches it - that includes you. Now I'll be back in a little bit, I need to drop off some spell componets for my dad.

Muradin: Oh, ok

5 minutes after Volrath leaves, Muradin forgets the warning and reaches for the shard. When he touches it, a Hezrou demoned appears and proceeds to beat the everloving :censored: out of him, then teleports back to its home plane.

Muradin: (coming to half an hour later) What happened?

Volrath: :hoppingma YOU IDIOT!!!! YOU TOUCHED THE SHARD!!! That was the very first demon I ever imprisioned! You are SO gonna get it now!

The following excruciating pain has been blocked out of Muradin's memory to preserve the rest of his sanity.
(end flashback)

Naz'roth has almost reached the Khyber shard, his eyes tearing up from its sheer beauty.

Muradin: NO TOUCH!!!!!!!

Naz'roth: What you talkin' bout, Muradin?

Muradin: TOUCHING BAD! TOUCHING VERY BAD!!!!!!!!

Naz'roth: You crazy, man (continues toward the shard)

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Muradin runs up to the shard and shatters it into a million pieces.

Naz'roth: :OMG! :blink: :ghosted:

Muradin: Now Naz'roth safe! :)

Naz'roth: ...

Muradin: uhh, Naz'roth, you ok?

Naz'roth: ...

Muradin picks up Naz'roth's stunned form and returns him to the FF.

John: What happened to him?

Muradin: Muradin save him from big shiny shard thing. :D

John: You mean a Khyber shard?

Muradin: Yes, Khyber shard bring pain, so i break big one, save buddy.

John: (sighs) Well, get him to his room. He won't be moving for a long time.

Muradin: Why won't he move?

John: He's in shock.

Muradin: Why? :confused:

John: Nevermind. Just make sure you leave him alone till he gets better.

Muradin: Ok.
rampant

03-07-06, 12:51 AM		Chalky - ok so we aren't eating Sa'vor? Where did i put that face paint?
LugWrench

03-07-06, 01:07 PM		Pholly is in the kitchen, scrubbing some badly crusted pots, 'well seasoned', as Norbaz puts it.
Michael, Mickey, and Devon wander in.

Michael: Hey, short stuff. Pulling some KP, eh?

Pholly: Yup. The captain put me here after that last blast blew a hole in the womens shower wall. Dunno what he was so upset about. Hes the one that told me to do it.

Devon: A man of vision, obviously.

Mickey: (swigging a flask of Cuervo Moderate Wounds) Anything that keeps you out of my hair.

Pholly stops scrubbing a pot, pulls a vial of stuff from his pocket, and dribbles the contents on the pot. The crusted residue begins to smoke and liquify, smelling like cinnamon-rasin bread thats been in the toaster waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaay too long.

Devon: (gagging) By Galifar, what IS that stuff?

Pholly: (smiling with pride) Oh, this. Its my latest creation. Alchemists Acidic Cleaner, I call it. Im taking a correspondance course to be an Alchemits Savant. What do you think, pretty good, huh?

Mickey: Ive smelled Otyugh farts that are more pleasant!

Michael: (coughing) Wait, isnt that the pot that Norbaz uses to make his chilli?

All: RUN!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

Later, in the infirmary, Mickey (siping an EverHeal) tends to Devon and Michael. Pholly is, unsurprisingly, unscathed. Captan jarlot strides in, looking none too pleased, with Tabitha following behind carrying a pile of papers.

Tabitha: So this latest explosion is going to cost you about....

Jarlot: Not a good time, Tabitha. Now, what the Hells happened? Marish and I were....dictating....and now this? Pholly, what in the name of Eberron did you blow up this time?

Devon: It wasnt Pholly. It was the chilli that Norbaz made last night. He told you to keep it cold. That stuff is almost as bad as Pholly.

Jarlot (beginning to go pale) What do you mean 'it was the chilli'? I had seven bowls of the stuff...... Oh dear.

Jarlot suddenly grabbs his ***** with both hands and runs to the head.

Awakened Privy: SWEET BABY JEBUS!! WHAT DID YOU EAT?
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-07-06, 03:14 PM		( sa'vor awakes to find Kithle inm his mind and Micheal checking his pockets)
Sa'vor: Kithle, out of my mind or i'll blow you into small illithid nibbles and eat tehm infront of your immortal soul, mihceal, put back all my gold. oh and chalky, i'd like my left arm back
( lots of clinking as people start to return Sa'vors stuff, nobody has the guts to mention his voice has gone wierder)
Kithle: oh, i dont think you'll be telling me what to do... renember halfway through the last war ...

Sa'vor: yeah, i burnt down a few orphanages to decrease the amount of orphans, so what?

Kithle: No i mean in the summer...

Sa'vor: im not sure i renember.... OH yeah, that summer, mention it and you'll never be able to recover from the horrible horrible tortures i devise, and chalky, you took my thumb, give it back!

Lisa: you burnt down orphanages? how cruel can you get (raises hammer)
( a Spark jumps from sa'vors finger and makes a large crater)
Sa'vor: ooops, sorry, my powers hard to control, if so much as sneeze without having an hours meditation i'll cause somthing that would make the Dealkyr lord Johnny depp cringe

Slip: so, what happened?

Sa'vor: the spark or? Oh yeah, sorry, *Ahem* well, the spell casters of old decided they couldnt trust thier people with the knowledge they ahd gained so they created these vaults to store items, weapons and very big dragon shards, also instead of writing down thier awsome magical knowledge they created an imprint of their very selves to inhabit these tombs. over the years more and more spellcasters stored thier knowledge here until the prophecised ones would come and change the world.

Jarlot: wow, spells, like i care

Sa'vor: some of these people where warriors captain

Kithle: okay, so what about the prophecy?

Sa'vor: well, the draconic prophecy is like a history of the universe, its mutable so nothing is definite about it, say if it was prophecised so that a demon of great power was freed. well, the dragons and anyone else watching the signs could tell that it would happen and he or she would be able to stop it and change the course of history. from what i gleaned of the prophecy from the spellcasters of old, it fortells of a great war; an illithid would plot to take the world from the mortals. his name in the prophecies is Kazull or in the common tongue " he who spreads great lies", at his side shall be one name Sa'vor; the Guide.

Jarlot: you where named after the prophecy?

Sa'vor: my mother was a seer, and a complete apocolyptic nut

Jarlot: right, continue

Sa'vor: the prophecy states that these two shall come into the company of brigands aboard a Winged ship that sails the clouds, the leader of this band of Outlaws shall be one named Jurkish; he who struggles with a eternal moral war. the prohecies say that this person will drink of fermented vegetable drinks and fight or used to fight for values lost, he shall belive he is a great leader or king, he shall say that the blood of emporers and one of the name " Galifar" flow through him...

Kithle: and?

Sa'vor: thats all i know, though i know where the eye is

Kithle: the greatest minds of the universe and they know ONLY that?

Sa'vor: no but the prophecy is hard to drcipher each symbol can have twenty different meanings and can turn out to be in a way you did not expect, from what they can tell there should be sixty more symbols to find regarding this part of the prophecy

Kantash: can we all acess the magical knowledge for free?

Sa'vor: yes and no, you have to prove yourself worthy

Kantash: thats not to difficult ...

Sa'vor: and when you win, it stores your knowledge and personality within the vault so others can learn from you.

Jarlot: Blah blah blah, lets jsut get the magical artifacts

Slip: i dont know... there could be traps

Sa'vor: there are, many of them, you all have to pass the test or you'll awake the gaurdian

Slip: who is?

Sa'vor: theres a passage from a book on this place that gives me a few clues; She shall be a great demoness who lures the male to her, she shall be one of four. one who stands before her shall once be bound to her. the prophecised ones shall know her by name.

Slip: let me guess Ullzul?

Sa'vor: yes, fully powered and bound to this tomb, thats why it keeps shifting, her magical power
Crystalforged

03-07-06, 06:13 PM		Kanatash: So before we continue is anyone interested in trying this "test"?

Kithle: What, have you decieded not to do it?

Kanatash: Oh, I intend to take it but I plan to do it last.

Jarlot: Why would that be?

Kanatash: Well mental contact with me tends to have a negative impact on people. I would assume that it would damage the spirits in this place as well.

Doog: Come on. How bad can it be?

Kanatash: Since you asked lets just say that before we met Jonny was the most brilliant Illithid that had existed in his community since the Daelkyr war.

Hearing his name Jonny turns around and the rest of the crew stares at him in disbelief. After a minute or two Jonny returns to staring at the wall and drooling.

Kanatash: And now he makes Muradin look smart. He's really one of the lucky ones too. Most of them have their minds completely burned out spend the rest of their lives in a vegataive state. (staring at Jonny for a moment) On second though maybe "lucky" isn't the right word.

Kithle: You can say that again. Oh, and remind me never to read you mind.

Kanatash: Yes, well I'm still waiting to hear who all wants to try this test.
Phantomcrossing

03-07-06, 06:23 PM		Norbaz - Well, I'm up for it, what do I need to do?
turalisj

03-07-06, 06:27 PM		I'd like to introduce a little someone.....

Vrin- a wanna-be sky pirate drow who always seems to have the worst luck at the worst of time. He also wears a pair of sunglasses.


Vrin dives into the room and lands on Kanatash. He pulls out a pair of cutlasses.

Vrin- All of yer money and....woops!

He dropped his weapons and slipped. A bag of holding opened and several black orbs fell out.
golem470

03-07-06, 08:08 PM		holy crap over 1002 posts for this topic including mine... this topic really needs to be given a sticky
LugWrench

03-08-06, 02:22 AM		First we have the ragtag losers, jerks, and wierdos on board the Forgotten Freedom , now WOTC is coming out with a new module aboard a skyship named The Golden Dragon. Coincidence? Inquiring minds want to know.... :P
turalisj

03-08-06, 06:51 AM		Quick! Someone stick a copyright on this thread!
rampant

03-08-06, 07:19 AM		Satnak - (private telepathic line to chalky) Where did you get that shade of blue?

Chalky - (in his head) oh huh? Satnak? well i had the ninjas raid lisa's make up kit and mixed some of her eyeshadow with soveriegn glue.

Satnak - (ptltc) How are you on such good terms with the ninjas? and Lisa has a make up kit?

Chalky - (ihh) Simple I'm not a perv and I actually talk to them. I can almost always tell they are there, i have good ears. As for lisa's make up, you don't spend as much time around dyes, and paints as i do without learning to identify things like that.

Satnak - (ptltc) So when do you think he will notice he is painted like a Hobgoblin Geisha?

Chalky - (ihh) Probably when one of the more wordly crew get a good look and start laughing or until one of us can't hold back the giggles.

Satnak - (ptltc) And the arm?

Chalky - (ihh) A distraction so he wouldn't have time to worry about any wierd sensations on his face. Was kind of hoping he wouldn't notice his thumb missing, i really wanna see what kinds of purple and black i can get off this guy's scales. With the soveriegn glue base anything that would get the paint off should be mighty uncomfortable even for that putz.
Charles Phipps

03-08-06, 07:40 PM		Hey guys,

I've been sort of absent recently with events in my life. Suffice to say it involves me having become a published author! Yay! ( http://www.windstormcreative.com/fandom/titlesshare.htm Now it should be up at Amazon in a MONTH....geez). I however, have returned to full capacity and should be able to devote more of my time to this wonderful list.

Thankee.

-CP

***

Captain's Addenums to the Rules in regards to dealing with what he terms to be 'Sci Fi weirdness'*

* The Captain now will segregate the list into book form in dealing with the manner of offenses and severity. For example, all violations of rules will be punished by death unless the captain is so bribed with holy vodka for his religious devotions to Dol Dorn.

4888. We are not renaming the ship, the Battlestar Eberron.
4889. Jacob Hunter our Skiff Pilot is not named Starbuck.
4990. Even if is a man that turns into a woman.
4991. We are not our way to find the mythical lost planet of Earth....
4992. Even if we have utterly wrecked Eberron.
4993. .....but if we DO flee the planet then we'll blame warforged for it.
4994. ....hereafter referred to as Cylons.
4995. KETLER! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO THX!!?!?
4996. I don't care if Stupid is much happier as a blonde lingerie model, that sort of experimentation is strictly forbidden!
4997. ....and no! A attractive Sarlonan actress is not better!
4998. When we find a bunch of alien organism's eggs, we do not bring them aboard.
4999. Even if the Monstrous Manual says they're worth 500 gp each.
5000. ....it is not a good sign when the hatchling wraps around the face of the crew member.
5001. Even if it did shut him up.
5002. The creature ripping out of his chest afterwards is because of the egg probably NOT the cooking.
5003. .....wait, the eggs were IN the cooking, I stand corrected.
5004. Ensign Wesley Crusher is sentenced to death.
5005. No, I'm not going to explain myself.
5006. It is wrong to program Stupid with the Laws of Robotics.
5007. Cause those ALWAYS end up violated horribly.

General Crew Mishaps

5008. Jacob is hereby forbidden from meeting with any artificers we encounter since invariably they decide to give up their priviledged positions to try world domination.
5009. ....I think after the 15th billionaire tries it, it ceases to be coincidence Jacob.
5010. V is forbidden from taking up the role of "The Mad Bomber That Bombs at Midnight."
5011. Even if he does get to say "YEAH BABY!" alot
5012. V is furthermore forbidden from taking up research in explosives after the tragic loss of a certain crew member.
5013. Oh quiet, Pholly will be stone cold dead in a minute.
5014. He is not getting better.
5015. *looks over his shoulder, gets a club, and hits him over the head*
5016. V is forbidden from making Jaela his garishly dressed sidekick.
5017. V is forbidden from resuming his life as Cyrean playboy Bruce wayne.
5018. That's ridiculous, Bruce Wayne wears glasses.
5019....or am I thinking of someone else?
5020. V is forbidden from adding gadgets to his repotroie to "FIGHT ALL EVIL"
5021. There's enough infighting in this crew already.
5022. V is forbidden from referring to Jaela as "Sparrow"
5023. It's just an excuse to get her into hot pants anyway!
5024. V is forbidden from claiming childhood psychological trauma to get out of every conviction levied against him.
5025. V does not "Know what evil lurks in the hearts of men."
5026. V cannot form a 'Society of Justice' with Bruce Ki, Jacob Hunter, Jaela, and Batman to fight the Evil Aboard this Ship.
5027. BECAUSE BATMAN IS NOT ONBOARD THIS SHIP
5028. V is not allowed to have his own theme music.
5029. Especially if its just "na nan na na na naa" Over and over again!
5030. There is no "V Girl."
5031. V is forbidden from calling Marish Catwoman!
5032. Even if its literally accurate.
5033. Kanatash is not 'The Riddler'
5034. V does not have V-merangs.
5035. Cause it's not even a word. They're V shaped anyway!
5036. V IS NOT THE FIGHTER OF EVIL ON THIS SHIP!
rampant

03-09-06, 01:37 AM		Kithle - (whacks pholly with club) stay dead
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-09-06, 11:51 AM		( Sa'vor shakes his head)
Sa'vor: you guys get worse and worse everyday, so, Vrin, you whant to be a Privateer?

Vrin: whats the pay?

Jarlot: well... that depends on what mood im in and Sa'vor why the hell are you conducting the interview?

Sa'vor: currently im the second sanist crew member and also, i think we should restrict the amount of redshirts we're employing

Jarlot: and why should i give you this job?

Sa'vor: because it keeps me busy and Kantash or Kithle doesnt really reflect the right image we're trying to create

Jarlot: we're trying to create an image?

Sa'vor: you whant meatshields right?

Jarlot: yes...

Sa'vor: then we need to attract them by creating the right image while in port

Vrin: Bwhahahahahahahahah! that guy ( pionts at Sa'vor) is trying to project the right image?

Sa'vor: what are you talking about you perfetic ecuse for a brigand?

Vrin: your face ( Snigger) its just so *chortle*

Sa'vor: ( slightly miffed) looks like i'll have to scan your mind, you may feel a slight burning sensation as i hack into it

Vrin: ARRGGHHH IT BURNS!

Sa'vor: its mandatory for all new crew members to be scanned by me and then proceede strait on to Kantash for a mental examination

Vrin: much better ( as pain receeds)

Sa'vor: CHALKY! did you do this ?

Chalky: yes, its pretty good isnt it?

Sa'vor: Excuse me captain as i clean my face with concetrated acid

Jarlot: go strait ahead
( Sa'vor leaves, Crew bursts out into laughter)
Charles Phipps

03-09-06, 12:29 PM		Jacob Hunter: Captain, I think we need to address something. The lack of numerous attractive females on this ship is a major oversight and....

Captain Jarlot: Hold on.....I'm doing my alignment taxes.

Jacob Hunter: You're....what?

Captain Jarlot: Alignment taxes. They happen at the end of every adventure. Effectively, I'm measuring my evil and chaotic deeds against my good and lawful ones. If I show a predilication towards evil or law then I'll lose my status as a Holy Liberator.

Jacob Hunter: Sir, with all due respect but what GOD in his RIGHT mind would take you for an Champion of Good?

*Dol Dorn stomps out of the dinning hall*

Dol Dorn: MORTAL!? Have you no ambrosia or Necter? I shall smote thy ruin on the mountaintop!

Jacob Hunter: .....I'm missing out on so much as an atheist.

Captain Jarlot: In any case, it only takes some creative accounting to handle this.

*lifts up an abacus*

Jacob Hunter: If by creative accounting, you mean outright theft.

Captain Jarlot: It's taxes, what else are they?

Jacob Hunter: Working for the government, I understand your meaning.

Captain Jarlot: Okay, would you argue that the crew is mostly evil?

Jacob Hunter: I wouldn't need to argue that at all.

Captain Jarlot: And that by restraining their actions I'm attempting to convert them?

Jacob Hunter: Not really.

Captain Jarlot: Close enough *scribble scribble* Also, would you argue that the Redshirts have a low life expectancy?

V: I SAID NO MAYO!

*pulls smokepowder gun and shoots crew man in the face*

Jacob Hunter: I don't think again, I have to argue.

Captain Jarlot: Then you'd say I've been fighting a great deal of evil onboard

Jacob Hunter: This somehow seems to miss the spirit of playing a Holy Liberator.

Captain Jarlot: The SPIRIT of the class is that I'm getting the cool stuff without having a stick up my bum! Oh CRAZZAP!

Jacob Hunter: Problem?

Captain Jarlot: I've got no problem with the Chaotic parts but the whole World Domination Scheme still has me in the red. I swear, you'd think ruling the world from the jeweled throne of Aquilona with a troubled brow was a BAD thing.

Jacob Hunter: I'm afraid you may have to just settle for losing those abilities...

Captain Jarlot: No, I'm afraid I'm going to have to help evil takeover so I can overthrow it and thus render the takeover of the world a glorious quest.

Jacob Hunter: .....hold up there. I don't...

Captain Jarlot: The benefits for saving the galaxy outweigh the little evils of guilt by association. In fact, its even better if I turn against friends whom have become evil to up the drama.

Jacob Hunter: You have no friends!

John the Keel: HI!

Jacob Hunter: Oh shut up. You don't count.

Captain Jarlot: I'll go contact Vol or somebody about this. I wonder if the Dreaming Dark accepts bids....sadly, they refuse to touch my brain. After it was fixed, its become nothing but porn and 80s action movies.

Jacob Hunter: Wow...huge difference.
rampant

03-10-06, 05:43 AM		5037. The affirmative action people are getting uppity again. From now on the 12 alarm de norbaz is classified as an ooze.
Dex

03-10-06, 10:43 PM		Re: Charles Phipps' post (OOC- gw on the publishing).

Well, if there's a lack of attractive females to lure meatsheil...um, new crew members, we'll have to find some:

Saberiel
CE Half-Nymph Succubus Sorcerer 5/Feind of Corruption 5

The succubus that lured Michael to Evil. 'nough said. Saberiel was the offspring of an Unseelie Nymph and a Succubus/Incubus. Her potent illusion magic has thus far allowed her to avoid alignment detection by Lisa, and says her shapeshifing abilities come from a "Hat of Disguise". She'll gladly beat Michael to a pulp, again.

Biana
CG Half-Elf Healer 10

Propably the only kind-hearted, generous and genuinely caring female on the ship, at the moment. Saberiel will probably be trying to kill her any day now, and Mickey'll be getting jealous that nobody wants him to heal them anymore (though of course his potions will be as popular as ever). She's completely oblivious to any negative emotions directed at her. And if Dooj or Michael try anything, all she has to do is smile sweetly at the Captain and say: "Jarlot, they're pestering me so much, it'd be easier to cure your wounds if they wern't around..." even if (especially if) Jarlot DOESN'T have any injuries. She may have high charisma, but she doesn't have below average Wis or Int.

Oh and Slip's probably made her first level of Psion after the training with Sa'vor: Sorcerer 5/Spelljammer Ace 6/Psion 1
Crystalforged

03-10-06, 11:59 PM		5038. I'm getting really tired of this but once again, I AM NOT BATMAN.

5039. No, I am not Batman's secret identity

5040. No, that is not what Batman's secret identity would say

5041. Err, Ok that is what Batman's secret identity would say bu that's beside the point

5042. I don't care if there's a rule saying I'm Batman

5043. I was either drunk or insane when I wrote that

5044. Rules that I made when drunk/insane are null and void

5045. Wait a second... :censored: stop! I take it back!

5046. :censored: , not again



Doog: Hey guys, the captain just said we can ignore the entire list! PARTY TIME!
rampant

03-11-06, 05:38 AM		ANARCHY REIGNS


The ship is covered in paint, snow, and the dinosaur lines that haven't rotted away are out and trolling.

Dooj - We got a big one.

Klaz - Thats a triceratops mate.

Micheal - Put in on the 'pult.

V - Fire.

Chalky - Direct hit that will teach those flaming zealots.

Pholly - I thought we were bombing house cannith enclaves.

Norbaz - Who Knows?Who cares? I got the next round ready. Satnak says its a little mildso i Figure it'll eat the whole building and go thirty feet down.
Crystalforged

03-11-06, 02:04 PM		Saberiel
CN Half-Nymph Succubus Sorcerer 5/Feind of Corruption 5

The succubus that lured Michael to Evil. 'nough said. Saberiel was the offspring of an Unseelie Nymph and a Succubus/Incubus. Her potent illusion magic has thus far allowed her to avoid alignment detection by Lisa, and says her shapeshifing abilities come from a "Hat of Disguise". She'll gladly beat Michael to a pulp, again.

Um, I was just looking at this and wondering why the Succumbus that lured Michael to EVIL is Chaotic Neutral.
LugWrench

03-11-06, 02:47 PM		Fiend of Corruption, ace. They can be any ol' nongood alignment. To them, its not how evil you are, its how evil you can make someone else.
Unfortunately, I think the Succubus kind of goofed this one. Michael isnt evil, so much as hes just a drunk, dirty old leacher. :P
rampant

03-12-06, 07:06 AM		John - Sweet flipping Buddhas of death the multi-verse is screwed.

Batman - I heard the list got voided.

Stupid - Wheeeee-heeeeee I'm drunk as a fleshie.

Erk - Erk like gnome ball.

Disaster - Hey look its skippy. One order of LOBster thermadore coming up.

Ketlers - Attack of the clones!!!

Squishy - Get this crazy animal away from me.

Chalky - Must eat squishy.
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-12-06, 07:26 AM		( After setting up camp in thier ship for the night, the crew reflect on thier day, exploring the tomb had been fun, they'd managed to rake in tonnes of experience and of course lots of gold too. but somthing was very very wrong. with no rules the crew had gone on a rampage. and with the epicness of Kantash, Kithle, Sa'vor and anyone else who'd passed the test that was not a good thing .... what made it worse was the singing, somthing was definitly wrong)
Jhon: ( musical in the background, Micheal singing about not being able to pull as many girls and Doojs gruff tones where mentioning somthing about never kissing them on the mouth) This crews gone to hell now the rules are null and viod.

Sa'vor: yeah, i have to sleep with one eye open all the time now

Jhon: since when did we get along?

Sa'vor: since we became the only lawful and sanest of the crew, which reminds me, hows enligtenment coming on?

Jhon: pretty well, hows world domination?

Sa'vor: slow, though, Kithles not a bad ruler, he's only attempted to eat my brains once today

Jhon: and Kantash

Sa'vor: somwhere in the cargo bay, i think he's creating somekind of Portal to Xoriat to contact his masters

Jhon: arnt they your masters as well?

Sa'vor: no, i just did a little work for them between being tourtured and having my mind twisted and warped

Jhon: right.... how are we going to stop the crew running rampent ?

Sa'vor: i like it like this, it means they're squabbling amoungst themselves.
( Lisa begins to beat Micheal with hammer)
Jhon: yeah, but how the hell are we going to get anything done like this? and why the hell are there musicals going on around us?

Sa'vor: musicals ? oh no.... that cant be good
( another startes up, Jarlot doing a titanic theme with MArish)
Jhon: how so? its just music

Sa'vor: bards are the evilist creatures on earth, so their gods or symbol of the dark is eviler than anything else. soon he'll manifest, and then kyber will come to eberron

Jhon: that happens daily, well actualy, it happens hourly

Sa'vor: true, but this is far worse .... its musical!
rampant

03-13-06, 12:58 AM		Kithle - Is that so. Well then we have 3 options. 1, execute the bards starting with devon. 2, get a few music critics in here and that oughtta shut it down. 3, let Satnak zorch em.
I favor the first step of 1 followed by 3.

Sa'vor - What did I say about mucking with my head.

Kithle - I learned to read the Keel months ago. Its amazing how you continue to fail to take my ability to gather information from those around you into account.
Rei32491

03-13-06, 10:56 PM		Chalky has somehow cornered Squishy and is moving in for the kill.

Chalky: I have you now. :evillaugh

Squishy: Ah crap - HELP!!!

Muradin hears Squishy pleas for help, turns, and sees Chalky advancing on Squishy.

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH!!!

Chalky: What the - OH :censored:!

Muradin hits him with his hammer.

Chalky: OH DEAR GOD!

Hits again.

Muradin: NO TOUCH SQUISHY!

Chalky: MAKE IT STOP!

Again.

Chalky: mommy :weep:.

Chalky now lies in a heap on the ground, several large lumps forming on his head.

Squishy: Thanks Muradin, you saved me.

Muradin: No problem, me like saving buddy. :)

Muradin proceeds to give Squishy a big hug.

Squishy: Can't breath...what - did - we - say - about - giving - hugs?

Muradin: Aww, but I like-

Squishy: NO

Muradin: poo
rampant

03-14-06, 11:19 AM		Chalky never one to forgive a slight, waits for muradin to sleep then soveriegn glues muradin to his hammok which is now pink for some reason. Then he hacks off the majority of the beard and tosses it over board, the remainder is now also pink with ribbons in it.
Rei32491

03-14-06, 05:25 PM		The next day Kanatash comes up to Muradin.

Kanatash: Ok Muradin, I am going to look into your mind to find out about this Volrath person you have been talking about. Any questions?

Muradin: Ye-

Kanatash: Good.

Kanatash goes into Muradin's mind and starts looking. After a little bit he comes to a black colored memory.

Kanatash: Hmm, this might be what I am looking for.

He dives into the memory and sees Muradin and who he assumes to be Volrath coming toward each other.

Volrath is drenched in blood and holding a large curved blade.

Volrath: Ah man, now that my mom is insane, I don't have any place
to live.

Muradin: Well, there is this place where lots of kids are allowed to live for free. Thats were I live.

Volrath: Oh well, I guess I can try it.

Volrath and Muradin start walking, Kanatash following close behind. Soon, Volrath and Muradin come to a building, the sign above the door reads Saint Innocence's Orphanage.

Muradin: This is the place. Oh yeah, the kids here LOVE stories.

Volrath: Hmm :plotting:...

So they walk in followed by Kanatash.

Kanatash: This is just weird.

Kanatash comes in and sees Volrath holding a book. He asks the kids if they want to here a story.

Kids: YAY!! :)

Volrath: Muradin, put these (holds up ear pulgs) in your ears.

Muradin: OK!!! (note, when Muradin puts the ear plugs in, Kanatash can't hear either, because he is going off of what Muradin remembers.

When Volrath begins reading, one of the kids starts twitching and turns inside out. Another kid starts bleeding, Kanatash can't see what from, then blades start protruding from under his skin. The rest of the kids start to have things happen to them that are too gruesome to describe with words.

Kanatash: :drool: I HAVE GOT TO GET THAT BOOK!!!

Kanatash leaves Muradins memories and sees him crying in the corner.

Muradin: Book bad, book bad.

Kanatash: How are you still sane?

Muradin does not respond, but continues crying.

OOC: Urial Angel of Death came up with Volrath our current D&D game, so he is going to post him.
Phantomcrossing

03-15-06, 09:13 PM		5047 - Acknowledge that there is a difference between pleasantly drunk Jarlot, and madly drunk Jarlot, objey orders placed during pleasantly drunkeness.
LugWrench

03-16-06, 01:55 AM		5048. The difference between the Drunk Jarlots is approximately one beer.
5049. Michael, stop claiming responsability for making Lisa evil, albeit temporarily.
5050. You didnt get her to 'loosen up' either.
5051. Nor did you get her 'in the ol sack'.
5052. "Why you think the 'Net was born?"
5053. Upon completeing his course on becoming an Alchemist Savant, Pholly will do double duty as ships bartender.
5054. Until his debt for ship repairs is paid off.
5055. Bombing targets with Norbaz's 5 alarm chili has been officially declared a Crime Against Humanity.
5056. Like we care....
Kaizer_Ryu

03-16-06, 03:00 AM		As order is slowly restored, it becomes clear that someone is missing.

Jarlot: Hey, anyone seen V?

Michael: Not since we Triceratops bombed Thrane.

Jarlot: Oh, for the love of...

Half an hour later, V is dragged back aboard kicking and screaming.

V: NOOOOO!! I WAS SO CLOSE!!!

Doog: What was he doing?

Jarlot: What else? We caught him trying to brianwash Jaela again.

V: I had her in the palm of my hand! Just a little more and she would have been mine!

Jarlot: You are getting SO many keelhaulings. John!

John: Yo!

Jarlot: V needs a hug.

V: OH, GODS NO!
rampant

03-16-06, 07:40 AM		Norbaz - Its 12 alarm you putzes

Satnak - I dunno the last batch barely made it past the sub-strata.

Norbaz - That does it I'm going all out, where's my Deepcrystal cook pot.



Chalky - I like this new varient of the game.

Dooj - Yeah, its great using the ketler clones, the redshirts are getting too good at hiding and the zombies don't scream much.

Hoybee - PULL

Micheal - (fires catapult)

Hoybee - *Ray of Frost* oops i over did it again I always get those two mixed up.

Ketler 22 - OH HOST NO NOT POLAR RAYYYY (freezes) neeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee eeooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww-shatter
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-16-06, 01:33 PM		( more dancing and singing, even the keels singing and Sa'vor stands in the center of it leaning on his scythe, he awaits the appearence of the dancing dark)

Hoybee: Now i have a chance to finish you

Sa'vor: booming and echoed voice, yep, your possesed

Hoybee: obviosuly, now i belive its time for a spell dual

Sa'vor: okay then, but one condition

Hoybee: and this would be?

Sa'vor: you shall make a pact with me, when i win i will spare your life but you must sware that all your kind will never attack me again

Hoybee: do you take me for some kind of fool? you couldnt possibly win

Sa'vor: lets begin

Hoybee: ( Unleashes a blast of arcane energy at Sa'vor, whom teleports and reappears half a mile away from the edge of the ship)

Hoybee: Running away Sa'vor?
( unleashes a swarm of force blasts, Sa'vor is struck by all of them at once, nothing remains)
Hoybee: dead already?
( a swarm of bats heads towards hoybees floating form, from the centre of the bat swarm a wave of psionic energy followed by a few eldritch blasts emits)
Hoybee: thought as much
( deflects the attacks and returns with a wave of psionic energy attempting to flood Sa'vors mind, the barriar crumples and Hoybee enters Sa'vors mind)
Hoybee: fool, i am all powerful, you just cant beat my ever lasting shadow
(within Sa'vors mind, the landscape is of huge obsidian spires towering above them and mists flow over the ground of burnt and cracked bones,
Sa'vor: WELCOME TO THE LANDSCAPE OF MY MIND, THE EVER CHURNING WAR OF MADNESS AND CHAOS, ALL HEALD IN PLACE BY ME, MEET WHAT YOU AND YOUR KIND MADE OF ME
( Sa'vor appears, his armour rippling with the combined might of the arcane, the Psionic and the Divine. in his hands is the same old Scythe forged from ruby, his cloak flows behind him in the winds)
(Hoybee strikes with huge bolts of emerald light each passing through sa'vor and obliterating the obsidian spires, Sa'vor raises a hand and all the magic in the air vanishes and forms into one void of black, Sa'vor lashes out with a arcing bolt. Hoybee shuders, and writhes, the Dancing dark is forced out of him and collapses to the floor)
The Dancing Shadows: you've got your pact, i'll leave

Sa'vor: who said anything about leaving? i've beat the second most powerful creature of dark, no one leaves now

The Dancing Shadows:what? you said youi'd spare me!

Sa'vor: you forget, im evil, I lied
( A bolt of anti reality strikes The Dancing Shadows, it vanishes, the music stops)
urial angel of death

03-16-06, 07:08 PM		Volrath Race: daelkyr half-blood? Alignment: CE
Warlock 9/Artificer 1/ fleshwarper 3 sanity score:-

Volrath appears to be a daelkyr half-blood due to his affinity for symbiotes and other aberrations, but there has never been a breed leech anywhere near his mother. When asked about his unusual abilities he simply replies, “I guess that I just take after my dad.”
He became the Forgotten Freedom’s librarian; because he is the only person besides kanatash that they are all sure will not lose any sanity by reading some of the books they pick up. He also doubles as the ships surgeon when Mickey is to drunk to cast regeneration. As the surgeon he doesn’t just make his patients back to normal he “improves” them.
His possessions include a brain-in-a-jar that daily begs for an end to its tortured existence. His symbiotes include a tentacle whip named “Thing,” a crawling gauntlet, and a breed leach. He also has several Mythos tomes including a common translation of the Necromnicon. Finally he has a large collection of torture devices including but not limited to thumbscrews, pears of agony, jawbreakers, iron maidens, flaying knives, salt water, salt, lemon juice, racks, whips barbed with glass, tentacle rods, pliers, fireplace pokers, various hallucinogenic drugs, fluid injectors, flow stone, spoons, water clocks, lion tongues, medical saws, porcelain plates, forks, chalkboards, Tabasco Sauce, the first D&D movie, the programmed and major image spells, his books, lubricant, duct tape, stakes, chains, and Devon’s poetry.



(There is an explosion on the side of the Forgotten Freedom and parts of an airship fall from it.)
(An adolescent boy crawls up the side of the Forgotten Freedom. He is a sickly pale. This boy has a tentacle hanging off of his right hand, while having chitinous claw on the other. He also has a small tentacle hanging off his left temple. Moridin rushes of to the boy looks happy.)
Boy- Finally! I’ve found you.
Muridin- Volrath!!!
(Muridin runs over and hugs Volrath. Volrath remains unmoving and stiff.)
Volrath (growling) - Get off of he.
(Muridin lets go and is smiling broadly.)
Volrarth (crossly) – I had to track you for three months! I turned to talk to Terra for one minute and you’re gone!
Muridin- I saw lots of people in pretty red tunics getting on da boat.
(Volrath puts his hand on his forehead and groans.)
Volrath- What have I told you about following “pretty” things.
Muridin (sheepishly) – Don’t.
Volrath – We might as well just stay here and wait for something to happen. I mean we finished our last job and I have no idea where she is.
Muridin – Huh?
Volrath – I lost our entire group looking for you.
Muridin (sadly) – Oh.
Volrath – Ah well can you show me around and get me a cabin?
Muridin (happy) – Me guess so.

(A few moments later)
Jarlot- So you want to become part of the crew. What can you do?
Volrath – Well I absolutely love books of ancient secrets, and I could help as a surgeon, though I don’t have any healing magic.
Jarlot- Fine, Sa’vor mind scan him and get him to Kanatash.

(Volrath walks into Kanatash’s examination room.)
Kanatash (thinking to himself) – This kid doesn’t appear to have aged a bit from those flash back, a well.
Volrath- It’s you, you‘re amazing!!
Kanatash – I know, but why specifically.
Volrath - Your books are amazing, I’ve read them all!
Kanatash- Really most people go insane after the 29th one. Very well let’s start the exam.

(Sometime later Volrath is walking on deck.)
(Squishy just finished handing out paychecks.)
Volrath- Hey uncle Squishy!
Dooj – That thing is your uncle?
Volrath – Well it’s a very weird family connection that has no applicable translation in common. So I just call him uncle.
Squishy- Nice to see you Volrath, I…
Chalky- I’ve got you now!!!
Squishy- AHH!!
(Squishy runs off with Chalky in hot pursuit.)

(Volrath and Muridin walk into the kitchen.)
Volrath (to Norbaz) – I just got here and feel that I need to do more to help out. Let me take over cooking for a day.
Norbaz – Sure, I could use a break.
(Muridin has another flashback.)
(Muridin is standing in an army camp next to a pale skinned elf. Soldiers’ arms are swelling to huge proportions and popping. Others are puking their intestines and gallons of blood. Finally there are some that are simply melting from their feet up.)
Pale skinned elf lady- I have never seen so many so sick so quickly. We are never eating Volrath’s cooking again.
(Flash back over.)
Muridin (screaming while jumping toward them) :OMG! – NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!
(Muridin crashes into the stove causing a massive explosion.)
Charles Phipps

03-16-06, 07:45 PM		Jarlot: V, what are you doing?

V: I'm preparing to blow up Parliament.

Jarlot: Again?

V: People should not be afraid of their governments, Governments should...

Jarlot: Yes, I *KNOW*

V: Well in any case, I've expanded my porfolio beyond general terr...err freedom fighting.

Jarlot: And kidnapping.

V: She loves me!

Jarlot: Yeah, whatever. *swigs a drink*

V: I am devoted now to fighting crime in all forms and all evil!

Jarlot: What about the Great Old Ones?

:coolcthul: Hey!

V: Your really obsessed about that?

Jarlot: They're after our women damnit!

V: In any case, my demands are simple. *pulls out a scroll that slides across the entirety of the ship and over the edge...still going*

Jarlot: Stop....the whark killing? Remove all flouride for mind control? Reveal that King Kaius is actually in prison and that a vampire is on the throne?

V: Also, you have to resign because you're a Lord of Dust.

Jarlot: How do you figure that?

V: Any normal human would have died from drinking their own bodyweight every day and the stress.

Jarlot: I have a bladder of cleansing +5

V: have you noticed there's a Daelkyr onboard now?

Jarlot: It's the damn ACLU. You know, Action Cthulhoid Liberation Union. They insist every airship contain a host of monsters of various sorts. Besides, we already have a Rakahasha onboard. HEY, TONY!

Tony the Tiger: THEY'RRRRRREEEEEE GREAT!

Jarlot: Prepare a blessed crossbow bolt. I'm so gawdsdamn SICK of those frosted flakes he serves every morning as cook.

V: Quiet, I have to deal with Moose and Squirrel. They're government agents seeking to overthrow the peaceful nation of Pottslyvania. I have reason to believe they're onboard this ship.

Jarlot: Man, it takes EFFORT to be paranoid on this ship.

V: I'm getting a redheaded partner for my efforts.

Andrea: There's no such thing as the supernatural.

Jarlot: The Hell?

V: She finally read one evil tome too many. Kanatash had to flash freeze her mind. She's in deep denial now.

Andrea: It's swamp gas...on Venus.

:coolcthul: HI!

Andrea: You don't exist.

:coolcthul: *Emo kid single tear*
Phantomcrossing

03-16-06, 07:56 PM		Norbaz gazes at the smoking hole in the wall where his oven used to be.

Norbaz - KHYBER'S ARMPIT! Do you know how expensive that was. The main reason I haven't gotten new magic equipment since I joined this crew. Repairing everything after someone goes crazy and blow something up. I'm below my current wealth limit because this place gets blown up every few days. Sigh...that's it...just...just clean this up.

Norbaz leaves the crowd in the kitchen and heads to the captain's room, he knocks and there is dissapointed yowl and much swearing. Jarlot opens the door a crack.

Norbaz - I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

Jarlot - No... uh, Marish was just taking dictation.

Norbaz - Well then I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm taking a sabatical. Captain I just need a vacation. I apologize for the short notice but...but this is just something I need to do. Here's a Murlond's spoon, it should do well in my absense. And there's a stockpile of chili in the armory. Just drop me off next time we hit StormReach and I'll see everyone in about a week after that.
rampant

03-17-06, 12:21 PM		Upon Hearing this Satnak camps out next to the chili stock and refuses to let anyone else have any. No one complains. Between Glares she berates Sa'vor for stealing her kill.

Satnak - (snacking on chili) All I'm saying Is thats why I'm on the boat, to kill deifics and primordial masters of creation. Let me do my Job.

Sa'vor - I'm sorry, but how can you actually like that stuff?

Satnak - What wrong with it?

Sa'vor - We use it to clean up the soveriegn glue paints chalky created.

Satnak - Its got a bit of a pleasant Kick.

Sa'vor - Did your taste buds get burned off of something?

Satnak - No They're really sensitive even Kalashtar can't taste the difference between dew from diffefnt blades of grass.

Sa'vor - That stuff burns a hole into the bedrock of whereever it lands you need crystal diningware to eat it. How can you stand it if you have sensitive taste buds.

Satnak - Meh, your just a wimp.
Crystalforged

03-18-06, 12:52 AM		Kanatash: So Kithle, I've been meaning to ask you, what happened to you when you were challenged by the tomb back there?

Kithle: Oh, nothing much. I had to fight the elder brain that originally spawned me. (Burp) I'm still full after that but I suppose you could say that it was "educational". How about you, what did you fight? I noticed the chamber kind of burned out after you were done.

Kanatash: Oh, I didn't fight anything persay. Instead of explaining it why don't I show you?

Kithle: Um, I know what happens to people who interact with your mind remember? I would really rather not end up like Jonny.

Kanatash: Don't worry. That only happens to people who go into my mind. I'm going to implant one of my memories into your mind so it should be fine.

Kithle: I may regret this but I'm curious so what the heck.



The world around Kithle swirles and twists until he finds himself looking on as Kanatash encounters the gaurdian spirit of the tomb.

Naur: Well, well. We have a bit of a conumdrum here. Normal operating procedure is to test new applicants by forcing them to battle the being they fear the most. You however seem to fear no one as far I we can discern.

Kanatash: Yes, I do have that quirk.

Naur: Well we are obligated to test you but I am usure about how to do it now.

Kanatash: Might I suggest a solution? Why not let me test you.

Naur: Ha, I am drawing on the the might of the the most powerful individuals to ever exist and I am the next best thing to all powerful myself. If you can best us in any challenge you would indeed have proved yourself.

Kanatash: Excellent, now I want you to read my mind.

Naur: Oh, Fool! This will not take long, you were forced to drop any mental protections you may have possesed to enter this place! (reaches out to kanatash's mind)

Kanatash: I didn't say reading my mind was the challenge. Surviving reading my mind unscathed is the challenge.

Naur: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Naur's form is sucked into Kanatash's and everything fades to black. Naur awakens to find himself floating in an infinite void.

Naur: Where am I?! What have you done to me?!

No one answers but he starts to descend through the void and dozens of images float past him. Looking closer many terrible things can be seen. In one image several dozen Care Bears are focusing their “stare” on helpless victims, turning them into their zombie mind slaves. Another shows feral Smirfs swarming over small children, eating their flesh and drinking their blood. A third shows Barney, who has grown to a hundred times his size, rampaging through Tokyo city spewing radioactive fire. A fourth has the power rangers laying low the world’s governments to spread anarchy across the planet. A fifth shows the telletubbies entertaining little children as they secretly suck out their souls to fuel their own unnatural existances. A sixth shows Spongebob Squarepants sitting atop a coral throne from which he rules the oceans with an iron fist.

As the final image fades Naur seems to hit the bottom of sorts. In the center of the void’s blinding darkness a single unassuming mirror sits. Kanatash suddenly appears in the mirror with his eyes giving off rays of shining darkness.

Kanatash: Welcome to the abyss of my mind. How have you enjoyed your visit so far?

Naur: What is this place? Why have you brought me here?

Kanatash: I call this place the void of mirrors. It is but one of the chambers of my mind and by no means the worst of them either. Here those who enter my mind are forced to confront the deepest secrets hiding within their minds.

Naur: Is that all? You think you can threaten my by showing me my inner darkness? I am the greatest necromancer of all time! I am a master of darkness!

Kanatash: (lets out a deep, evil laugh) I said nothing of darkness, fool. This place shows you the secrets you have hidden in your own mind, even from yourself. Secrets that you have suppressed because you mind cannot handle the truth. Now, why don’t we begin with your childhood? (tendrils of shadow reach out and bind Naur)

Naur: My childhood?

Kanatash: Yes, your parents died when you were young and although this would traumatize most children you felt something different. You felt an uncontrollable attraction to their corpses, the first inklings of your necrophelia. This is in fact the reason you became a necromancer in the first place, the only way you could stop yourself from feeling this way about the dead was to bring them back to life. When you crafted undead armies you secretly hoped that you could turn the entire world into undead so there would be no more corpses for you to hunger after.

Naur: (convulsing) NOOOO, ITS NOT TRUE!

Kanatash: But it is. Then as you grew older you came to fear the very undead you created. The soulless bodies, the empty eyes, the gnawing hunger, all of this scare you for you knew that the negative energy that powered them would consume you as readily as the next person. This is the reason even though it was with in your means and you were reaching the end of your life you never became a lich. You feared the negative energy for you knew it would not hesitate to consume your very soul even if it sustained your life and you feared this more than death.

Naur: (curling into the fetal position and crying) NOOOOOOO, Ughuuuuugh, (more moaning)

Kanatash: Oh, we’re just breaking the surface here. I think I will dredge up something from the deepest portion of your mind now. Let’s see now… Ohhhh, this is good here… It seems you have a fondness for the music of Barbara Strizand. Wow, even I’m not that messed up.

Naur makes gurgling noises and falls limp in the shadow tendrils.

Kanatash: (tossing the body aside with the tentacles) Pathetic. I’ve seen redshirts last longer and I was just starting to enjoy it too. (stepping out of the mirror) Now to use whatever’s left of his mind to link to the central consciousness of this place so I can absorb all the information and the power stored here.

Kanatash kneels over Naur’s body for several minutes before rising. He glances back at the mirror for a moment and in it he sees a shadowy figure resembling himself except that it positively drips with goodness and love. Kanatash shudders and looks away quickly as the vision ends.



Kithle: Impressive piece of work there. You broke him pretty thoroughly. (smirks) I did like that bit at the end too.

Kanatash: (cringing) You weren’t supposed to see that. (Sigh) Before you ask, yes, I there are some tiny vestiges of my former sane self buried within my consciousness. However I keep it under constant observation and I am working hard to purge it once and for all.

Kithle: (still smirking) I’ll keep that in mind, I feels nice to have something over you for once.

Kanatash: (scowling) Try an do anything with it and I’ll trigger the seed I planted in you mind with that memory. It’ll erase everything in your mind.

Kithle: (Taken aback) Why you… Your bluffing aren’t you?

Kanatash: Maybe, mabye not. You’ll never know because if you try to interact with the seed in any way, even checking for it’s existence, it will activate and you know what happens then.

Kithle: Bastard

Kanatash: (smirking) I love these sorts of mind games.
Kaizer_Ryu

03-18-06, 02:31 AM		OOC: And thus, the triumverate is complete:
BIC:

Name: Terra
Race: Female Elf
Class: Druid, Level 14
Alignment: NE

- Terra arrived onboard during a supply stop in Sharn. Though somewhat cold at first, she is more than willing to aid the crew in their pharmaceutical needs. It seems Terra is well versed in the breeding, growing, and preparing of the best hallucinogenic plant derivatives the pirates have ever had. As an added bonus, she has agreed to sell her products at vastly reduced prices in exchange for the Captain allowing her to test her newest creations on the crew.
Considering the value of her products, Terra is understandably cautious. She is very protective of her personal space, and greatly dislikes being touched. She has also warned of “unpleasant things” happening to those who enter her room without permission. She claims to have joined the FF because of the variety of races onboard gives her a wider test sample, and the crew’s high drug tolerance level as well as experience with such allows for more precise reviews of her products. While true, several crew members believe she may be hiding out, but from what remains unclear.

(Onboard the FF, just before departure)
Jarlot: Just so you know, we already have a Druid. What would you bring to the crew he can’t?

Terra: This. (holds up her hand)

In the palm of her hand is a small seed. A faint glow surrounds it, and it germinates. In moments it is full grown and instantly recognizable.

Jarlot: :blink: Is…is that what I think it is?

Terra: Yes and no. It is dreamlily, but this one is my own creation. It is more potent than the one currently available.

Terra quickly prepares it and gives Jarlot some.

Jarlot: :love: Whoa, ho, ho, ho!

Terra: That’s just one of many.

Jarlot: You’re hired!

(Later)
Volrath: Terra!

Terra: Hey, Volrath.

Volrath: I should have known you’d find me. Muradin’s here, too!

Terra: Yeah, I know. When I heard about an idiot dwarf destroying the kitchen, I kind of figured...

(Muradin arrives on deck, sees Terra, runs over and gives her a big hug)

Muradin: Crazy Elf Lady back!

Terra: (strained) What…have…I…told…you…about…hugs…

Muradin: Awwww…

Volrath: Guess what! Uncle Squishy and :coolcthul are here too!

Terra: It’s been a while since I’ve seen either of them. Anyway, it seems you like it here.

Volrath: Uh huh! But…I’m curious. Are you here just because I am?

Terra: I needed some new ideas. As you know, I do my best work while traveling. Paperwork just doesn’t suit me.
rampant

03-18-06, 02:47 AM		Kithle - Sa'vor we need to take Kantash down a peg here.

Sa'vor - Huh?

Kithle - One I just barely Survived a mind seeding. Thank goodness that elder brain was almost as big a Pain as Kantash other wise I wouldn't know the proper counter measures. He thinks he has me and this is a private link. He didn't riffle in the right spots in the tomb, so you can still hide from him. I use a modified version of your defenses know and can also hide important facts, but not quite as easily. The way I see it we need to simply show him that he isn't all powerful on this ship.

Sa'vor - I thought he pretty much was.

Kithle - Hardly there's you, me, Andrea, Satnak, and probably that little turd folly with his luck. I severly doubt He could hold sway over anyone on that list. We need to prank him, Bigtime.
Charles Phipps

03-18-06, 09:44 AM		V: We may have some trouble.

Michael: Oh hell, its you.

V: If this is about blowing you up....

Michael: TWICE.

V: I can't help it if you make an excellent carrier for explosives....

Michael: GRRRR....

V: In any case, the ship's parked and not moving.

Michael: What why?

V: The Captain is needed to pilot the ship since one of the ingrediants for our engines fast enough to escape the rest of the people is the pure bile and misery of his depressed soul.

Michael: And?

V: He now hosts a political commentary radio show in Sharn.

Dooj: We've got to get him back!

Michael: Well we...

Dooj: Do you know anyone else who will hire us?

Michael: GAH!

Bruce Ki: This is an emergency of grand proportions....
rampant

03-18-06, 01:30 PM		Satnak - NOOOOOOOO you can't have my chili. Norbaz is on vacation still so this is all thats left.

V - We need to recapture the Captain.

Satnak - Do it without my chili.

Dooj - Its one of our best weapons.

Satnak - Drop pholly on them, or Nazroth

Nazroth - Yo

V - yes but thats not enough

Satnak - *GLARE*

V - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Dooj - mommy!
urial angel of death

03-18-06, 09:56 PM		(V walks into Volrath's room)
V- I was wondering could you make me a powerful poison. It kind of seemed like your kind of thing... What the hell are you doing?!?
(Volrath is clamlyskinning several redshirts.)
Volrath- I was making some armor just need tanning solution and some silver dragon blood. So you need poison do you? I think I have something to please you. However you have to promise to get silver dragon's blood and tanning solution for me while your in Sharn.
V-Fine.
(Volrath pulls out a bottle of voilatil green liquid.)
V- What's that?
Volrath- It's a version of green slime that only affects flesh, so that it can coat a weapon.
V(giddy with joy)-Sweet!!!
Kaizer_Ryu

03-18-06, 11:22 PM		As V leaves Volrath's room, he is approached by Terra.

Terra: I hear you're attempting to bring back the Captain.

V: Yeah, so?

Terra: I have a few...shall we say...connections in Sharn. I could get you the layout and security of the building the Captain is in...

V: Riiiight. I suppose there's a catch.

Terra: Just a small favor. One of the staff there is a former associate of mine. The little weasel took off with a fair bit of my gold. Here is his description. Bring me his left hand as punishment, but otherwise leave him alive. :devil:

Terra hands him a slip of paper and walks off.

V: Scary woman...
Endless_Helix

03-19-06, 09:32 AM		John: I want to go on sabbatical.

Jarlot: Yeah, that's nice. Turn left.

John: Not until I get a sabbatical.

Jarlot: What're you talking about?

John: Volrath read me a couple of books on communism and the rights of a worker.

Jarlot: John, you're a keel. You don't get benefits.

John: Fine. I'm going on strike then.

------

Jarlot: KETLER!

Ketler: What? I'm trying to build a plug suit for Jael- nevermind!

Jarlot: I don't care. We need a new keel.

Ketler: Err... What? Is it worn out or something?

John: Damn straight.

Jarlot: It's demanding benefits.

Ketler: Uh.... I think I misheard you.

John: Nope. I want to go on a paid vacation.

Ketler: Ummm... hmmm... Well the first thing you need is legs. And arms. and you'll probably want to have a face of some sort. Hey, is it alright if I write this working up as a paper for Passage U? They love to hear about unique workings...

Jarlot: You're joking.

Ketler: Errr... No.

Jarlot: You're insane.

John: What's new with that?

Ketler: Thanks, son, but don't help me here...

John: Even Kantash thans you're nuts!

Jarlot: Really?

Ketler: Anyway, I uh...

John: Yup. He even wrote a suggestion to you about firing my Dad. I think its midway through the pile of paperwork you haen't looked at.

Jarlot: Really?

John: Yeah, I got a good close up of it when you dumped it on me to incinerate.

Jarlot: Ahem, anyways, as you were saying Ketler

Ketler: Thanks, as I was saying, it is my professional opinion that we can't turn the ship without our keel, and thus it is extremely unwise to anger it.

Jarlot: So if we just, say, got rid of the keel we've currently got and got a new one, wouldn't that be easier?

Ketler: Well... but destroying John would be too difficult ...

John: Thanks dad, but don't help me. Except with the arms and legs and stuff.
LugWrench

03-19-06, 05:15 PM		Devon and Hoybee are in the lounge, Devon is busy scratching out some poetry, and Hoybee is trying to read his spell book.
Pholly walks in, and sets down three steaming mugs of what seems to be coffee, but with Pholly, it could just as easily be Alchemits Enema.

Pholly: Hey guys. I may have to give up the alchemy thing.

Hoybee: Wha? Whats that, son?

Devon: Oh, thank you, merciful gods. Now, about that harem of girls I prayed about....

Pholly: Well, im just getting a vibe that the constant explosions are getting on everyones nerves. And besides, my paychecks are getting smaller and smaller. The last one was a death threat.

Devon takes a sip of the coffee. "Wow, this stuff is pretty good. Norbaz's recipie?"

Hoybee takes a sip. "Aye, this be some good stuff."

Pholly: Oh, this isnt nothing. Ive been making this stuff for years.

Devon and Hoybee put their books down.

Hoybee: Oh, you should keep with the alchemy, lad. I mean, this coffee is alchemy, when you get right down to it.

Devon (leans over to Hoybee): What the hell are you doing? We would finally be able to get a full nights sleep!

Hoybee: Now, now, Devon. All the lad needs is some encouragement. Now, Pholly. I want you to go back, and give it another try. I mean, this coffee is amazing, and its a good place to start. Besides, Devon couldnt get a date to save his life, but he keeps trying.

Devon: Yeah....wait!!!

Pholly: Youre right, Hoybee. Enjoy the coffee, fellas. Ive got some work to catch up on.

Pholly leaves. Devon looks at Hoybee and shakes his head, then goes back to writing more poetry. Hoybee picks up his spell book and goes back to studying. Neither notice that they have accidentally switched books.
rampant

03-19-06, 10:25 PM		That explains Hoybee's spells whats devon's excuse for his poetry?

Kithle - Bad Hoybee (smacks with rolled up newspaper), do not encuorage the walking time bombs.
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-20-06, 01:44 PM		( Sa'vors cell ( even though they dont lock it anymore, he's still in a cell; its a trust thing))

Sa'vor: Greetings; Kithle, Pholly, Satnak, Andrea ... wait, why the hell are you here Volath?

Volath: Sorry, wrong room ( starts move away)

Sa'vor: Halt, give me back my Spellshard and my Necromantic manuels and my Necromantic scrolls, my Draco Mystrie as well. and the libris mortis

Volath: couldnt i just borrow them?

Sa'vor: no! they are sensitive magical items; though i do have notes on them in my Journle for my travels through the planes.. as well as some other notes..

Volath: Hmm, intresting, i'll have to check it out

Sa'vor: theres a copy in the ships Library, my Journel has reached number one on the most read list on this crew, though i think thats Micheal reading about my time with the demons
( Volath leaves)
Sa'vor: where was i?

Kithle: about to rant

Sa'vor: oh yes, I belive you all know why i brought you here?

Andrea: yes, but cant he read all our minds?

Sa'vor: no, this room is shielded

Satnak: and when we leave the room?

Sa'vor: then i'll give you these rings; where them and you can shield thoughts you dont whant to be read and give him misinformation

Andrea: do they work against you and kithle?

Sa'vor: yes, though we've got enough black mail information to twist you to out will

Andrea: theres nothing in my past im ashamed about that you could use against me

Kithle: really?, well, How about that time in College?

Andrea: I WAS DRUNK!

Sa'vor: (smiling a sly half smile) thats not what it says in your thoughts...
( Andrea scowls and puts on the ring)
Kithle: anyway, we're here to take Kantash down a peg or two, he's getting far too irritating

Sa'vor: he tried to make me ashamed of my child hood, *evil laugh* theres nothing i regret about that, even killing my cousin and eating his heart

Kithle: was that before or after Naz'roth possessed you?

Sa'vor: before

Andrea: *shiver* i thought you where evil, but i didnt imagin you where evil as a child

Sa'vor: well, when dragons bring you up and belive you a cripple its quite difficult not to turn evil

Kithle: back to the problem at hand

Sa'vor: yes, we need to plan either a good beating or a major beating or a prank.

Pholly: im sure that your going to make me do somthing....

Sa'vor: yes.. an explosive somthing *EVIL LAUGHTER*

Andrea: that was wierd...

Sa'vor: sorry, my insane dictator and evil villain senses kick in when i plot

Pholly: i get the Alchemist bombs ready

Sa'vor: you do that, Satnak, get Volath to mix some nasty toxins

Satnak: okay...

Kithle: Andrea, Prepare a Ghost Trap spell

Sa'vor: Kithle, prepare a psionic barrage; focusing mainly on mindblasts and crippling spells

Kithle: and your doing?

Sa'vor: im preparing to enter his mind...

Kithle: You'll never make it out sane!

Sa'vor: Oh, i will, if you renember, im not a particularly stable individual... not since the last war anyway...

Kithle: well, you heard him, lets get to work
( they all leave)
Sa'vor: Slip; i know your there, stop hiding
(Slip fades into being)
Slip: i guess i didnt shield my mind proparly

Sa'vor: no my life sight saw you, oh and allen, i know your there as well
( Allen appears out of the shadows)
Allen: curses, i thought i'd got the drop on you my Vampiric brother

Slip: Brother?

Sa'vor: Vampire thing, its a long story...

Allen: i suppose you need me to build a resepticle

Sa'vor: yes, i will not state why

Slip: and me?

Sa'vor: your job will be to execute me if my will breaks, if i break, the Killing Machien or the Reaper will be the least of our concerns...

Slip: so the game is set?

Sa'vor: it is, and Kantash probably knows what we're planning

Slip: how?

Sa'vor: he has spies everywhere ( raises an arm, A black Raven flies down to it, its black eyes are like voids)

Raven: Greetings master

Sa'vor: Void, did you notice any of Kantash's minions in the versinity?

Void: yes master, i did, two controlled red shirts where eavs dropping, they are on their way to report to Kantash now, he's sleeping at the moment

Sa'vor: Exelent work my pet, now, Slip and Allen; who's up for a hunt?
rampant

03-21-06, 01:09 AM		Kithle - Next time invite me to hunt, I need to practice with this newspaper, slips good but not good enough to keep me out. Allen your a book, see spot run to be specific. What's with bird? when did you get a bird?
Phantomcrossing

03-21-06, 10:08 AM		Somewhere in Xen'drik, a half giant covered in tribal markings runs through the thick jungle, being pursued by drow in scorpion patterned chitten armor...this hunt continues as the hunt aboard the Forgotten Freedom begins.
Lord Kale Fangblade

03-21-06, 12:43 PM		( somwhere in the cargo bays, the mind controlled Red-shirts slit through the shadows; next to them is a speaker tube; from which a trickel of sand pours steadily forming a mound. behind them slip moves and a bat appears in the corridor ahead)
Red shirt one: whait... where did all that sand come from?

Red Shirt two: you know.. i dont know

Red shirt one: you can tell why Kantash put me in charge

Red Shirt two: are you sure? i thought it was because you where generaly meaner

Red shirt one: shut the kyber up you annoying filth!

Red Shirt two: there you go again!
( the bat shapeshifts to form the shadowy figure of Allen; slip appears before them and the sand shapeshifts into Sa'vor)
Sa'vor: Welcome to breakfast, are you hungry?

Red shirt two: not really...

Sa'vor: (vampiric fangs lengthining, Slip and Allen close in) i dont think you have a choice in the matter, ( allen lunges forwards and grabes red shirt one and begins to drain his blood, but red shirt two panics and flees amungst the crates)

Slip: he's mine! ( raises a hand crossbow, she fires and the black serrated bolt flashes like lightning striking the red shirt in the shoulder as he flees, he collapses)

Sa'vor: let me guess, Psionic venom?

Slip: yes, cuts off Kantash's mind control and erases all the knowledge from his mind ( allen drops the husk of Red shirt one to the floor, then quickly he disintergrates the corpse)

Allen: yeah, anyway, when did you have a raven?

Sa'vor: ah, well, i disided since i've now mastered some wizard abilities i'd get a familia, i've named this Raven Viod, he's my spy and associate

Slip: but i thought i was your spy...

Sa'vor: you spy on the captain and guide him towards our goals, Viod here just listens in and keeps an eye on everyone. just to make sure their not plotting our down fall.

Allen: still, thats one scary bird ...
Charles Phipps

03-21-06, 07:29 PM		A Police Box slowly materializes on the Deck of the Forgotten Freedom

The Doctor Steps out

12th Doctor: Hey muther *@)@)@@, I'm looking for Ketler to put a cap in his ass.

Ketler: Doctor? I somehow expected you to be different.

12th Doctor: Well live and learn ho. I'm here to tell you to stop messin with dimensional portals or BLAM right between your eyes b***!

Ketler: You're like my idol man.

12th Doctor: Word to your mother.

*returns to his Police Box and disappears*

OOC: I have no idea where that came from.
Kaizer_Ryu

03-21-06, 09:58 PM		Terra and Volrath silently observe Ketler's mindless ramblings, directed at some unknown entity he refers to as "Doctor"

Volrath: What did you give him?

Terra: I extracted a few compounds from the chili and added them to his booze during lunch.

Volrath: How did you know it wouldn't kill him?

Terra: I didn't. :devil:
Charles Phipps

03-21-06, 10:14 PM		Hehehe, good one.

12th Doctor: You see, elves love Wayne Brady because he makes orcs like Miss Piggy look like Gruumsh.

Ketler: Wow....you're a fountain of wisdom.

12th Doctor: ORC power man. Orc scientists have to stick together. Y'know what I'm saying?

Ketler: Neither of us are orcs....

12th Doctor: Whatever, now smoke this dreamlily.

Ketler: Errr....well...I'm not really into that sort of thing...

12th Doctor: Listen orkie, if you do not smoke this we have a problem.

*pulls out sonic screwdriver and points it at his head*

Ketler: Righto!

*pufffffff*

Jarlot: There's a LOT of subtext to these ramblings.
rampant

03-22-06, 02:24 AM		Kithle - I've got the list right here he tries anything mentioned here and he's newspaper chow.

Terra - Whatever ... wait a second Newspaper chow?

Kithle - (slips squriming rolled up newspaper into pocket) Don't ask.
Kaizer_Ryu

03-22-06, 06:00 PM		Terra: I wouldn't try it, Kithle...

Kithle: (Sneaking behind her) What? :angelhide

Terra: Trying to suck out my brain may be hazerdous to your health.

Kithle: We'll see about that.

Kithle strikes, only to recoil in pain as Terra bursts into flame, singing his tentacle.

Kithle: The hell?!

Terra: Incendiary skin. :P

Kithle: That's not fair! Even so, the acid should still effect you!

Terra: (Rolls back her sleve to reveal a patch of green grafted to her skin) This grants me permenant acid resistance.

Kithle: You've gotta be kidding me!!

Terra: In my line of work you can't be too careful. I got these to protect against some assasination attempts. It just so happens that it works great against Mind Flayers. :D

Kithle: Grrrrrr..... (Kithle storms off, muttering)

Terra: Oh, one more thing!

Kithle turns and looks at her angrily. Terra lifts up her hand and shows him a ring.

Terra: See this? It's a Ring of Greater Spell Turning. I wouldn't suggest trying to suck out my brain that way either. Do you really want to test if it would work or not?

Kithle: Gah!!!

Kithle throws his arms in the air in frustration and runs off.

Terra: I love doing that. :evillaugh
urial angel of death

03-22-06, 08:14 PM		Volrath- John why do you believe that killing innocents is so wrong.
John- Because they have done nothing to deserve death.
Volrath-yes but if they are truely innocent then wouldn't a happy afterlife be awaiting them.
John- They might not be ready to enter the afterlife yet.
Volrath - True but you can be raised with just one spell, that has a material component costing only 500gp.
John - Um well...
Volrath - I'll leave you to your thoughts. :devil:
Kaizer_Ryu

03-24-06, 02:48 AM		Satnak is still camped out by the chili and refuses to let Terra anywhere near it.

Terra: Oh, come on. Why not? I just need a little...

Satnak: That's what you said last time, and here you are, looking for more! It won't be long before it's gone!

Terra: That was just a test sample. It proved to be non-fatal, at least in the preliminary trial, so I want to start mass producing it.

Satnak: Lets see if you're telling the truth...

Satnak tries to read Terra's mind, but feels her attack deflected. After several attepts, she stops in frustration.

Satnak: How the hell did you do that? You're not psionic, are you?

Terra: (Smirking amusedly) No, and you'll find out how in due time. It's driving Kanatash bats and I'm not ready to spoil the fun yet.

Terra heads for the door, but turns just before she leaves.

Terra: Oh, and thanks for the chili.

It seems while Satnak was busy trying to scan her, Terra was able to grab a vialfull of 12 alarm de Norbaz.

Satnak: (slightly annoyed) You're just full of surprises, aren't you? Very well, you win this round, elf.
Charles Phipps

03-24-06, 03:24 AM		OOC: I'm quite happy to say my books are now available from Amazon.com!

I'm so happy!

The info is located in my sig!

***

5057. Nuclear Warheads are not party favors.
5058. Nor are any form of artillery.
5059. A Dalek is not a sex toy.
5060. Despite what Ketler might say.
5061. Breland is not to be described as "The festering capitalist hellhole soon to be overthrown by the proletariat."
5062. THIS MEANS YOU V.
5063. Karrnath is not to be described as "A bunch of Vodka snorting undead worshipping atheists."
5064. This means YOU Jacob.
5065. Thrane is not to be referred to as "The Bible Belt."
5066. Aundair is not to be referred to as the "Frog Leg eating Surrendering Monkey country"
5067. Wait....that's what I call it.
5068. Dargunn is not to be called "Pigtown."
5069. Within Dooj's ear range.
LugWrench

03-24-06, 03:32 AM		5070. The Inspired are not posessed by Gozer.
5071. I am not authorized to sell Web Enhancements for the 'Forgottem Freedom'.
5072. Demogorgon is not Bi-polar.
5073. Castintg "Right Guard" on Trogoldytes to cover up their BO is appreciated, but not really needed.
5074. Pholly is not Nodwicks long, lost cousin.
5075. Larry Elmore can draw women, by God!!
5076. We are not rejects from 'Snarf Quest'.
5077. Heck, we actually make Snarf look like a slick professional.
5078. Scarry thought, huh?
Dex

03-24-06, 07:01 AM		After another day of small-scale warfare, reported (yet unconfirmed) Batman sightings and several assassination attempts (strangely enough, not by Assassins), Satnak is fighting back against a barrel of wayward Chilli which has evolved into an alchemical golem...

Satnak: Die! Take that! Mmm chilli! And that!

Sentient chilli: But I'm just trying to get out of here! Leave me alone!

Satnak: You're my chilli now! *takes another swing* All mine!

*Suddenly, a portal open right beside her, and out steps Chuck Norris!*

Chuck Norris: Hey there! Need a hand?

Satnak: It's Chuck Norris! :love:

Sentient Chilli: It's Chuck Norris! :love: Get me out of here!

Chuck Norris: Okay then.

*The Sentient Chilli and Chuck Norris depart through the portal*

Satnak: NNNoooo!!! My Chilli! Chuck Norris! NNNooo! *sob* Kill me now *sob*.

Terra: Look on the bright side, there's one more barrel left after your pigging out and the chilli evolving...

*Satnak and Terra both dive for the last barrel.*

5078. No, you're not Chuck Norris.
5079. No, I'm not Chuck Norris.
5080. No, Dooj definitely isn't Chuck Norris.
5081. We really need a decent cook back.
5082. What do you mean we never had a decent cook!
5083. Ahem, we need a better cook than what we have currently.
Phantomcrossing

03-24-06, 11:49 AM		...oh...that's mean...

and besides, at the moment the crew has no cook, he's on sabatical.


(Image of a pile of dead jungle drow surrounded by a panting and roaring half giant covered in tribal markings)
rampant

03-25-06, 01:05 AM		Satnak - (holding terra with the grafted arm) My barrel, i can and will simply crush you to death. This arm dissassembles primordial darkness, dieties and great old ones, it will mash you to particles. My Chili *UBERGLARE*.

Terra - (in utter raving terror) yes'm (runs away)

Satnak - And you (glaring at chili) don't even think of calling for help or i will show you the move that sent floral dark to non-existance.
Kaizer_Ryu

03-25-06, 04:11 AM		Terra returns to her room, still slightly shaken from Satnak's Uberglare.

Terra: Damn, and I thought an angry Volrath was scary...

Sitting at her lab table, she starts working with the chili she managed to steal before Satnak's death grip. As she grumbles softly, her robe rustles slightly.

Terra: (Seemingly to no one) Yeah, I know. I should have known better. I got a little complacent after my recent successes.

She pauses for a moment, listening. She smiles and continues.

Terra: Don't worry, I won't let that slide...

The rustling stops, and Terra continues in silence.

(rule 5078 was doubled, so...)
5085: Just because Terra has Incendiary Skin, it does not make her the Human Torch
5086: She's an elf
5087: Nor does it make her the Elven Torch
5088: She is not Jonny Storm's evil twin/opposite
5089: She does not shout "Flame On" either
5090: No, Michael, it does not burn off her clothes
5091: I don't care how much you want it to...
5092: Satnak, what have I told you about glaring at crewmembers?
5093: DO NOT GLARE AT THE INSANE DRUGRUNNER THAT IS FRIENDS WITH THE DAELKYR HALFBREED (or whatever Volrath is)!
5094: I don't care if you're not scared. This is for our safety, not yours.
urial angel of death

03-25-06, 01:55 PM		(Volrath stomps into the captain's cabin)
(Kithle is sitting behind the desk)
Volrath : Who are you?
Kithle : I am Kithle, I will be filling in for the captain while he is gone. Now what was your problem?
Volrath : Well I had this whole speech prepared for Jarlot that the ship didn't have a large enough variety of shrines in the chapel, and that it was descriminating again non-good religions.
Kithle : By all means if there is an unrepresented religion you would like to make a shrine for go ahead.
Volrath : I will need ten red shirt helper for a proper shrine.
Kithle : Done.

(A few moments later cries come from the chapel.)
(Lisa walks into the chapel to investigate.)
(She opens the door to find horribly mutilated and disembowled redshirts, most of them still twitching. Volrath is standing in the middle drentched in blood, holding a knife and mythos tome in his arms. He is wearing a deep violet robe with designs of pure maddness, giving praise to the elder gods.)
(Lisa screams in terror.)
Volrath : What?
Charles Phipps

03-25-06, 11:05 PM		From a recent game...

I think it could apply to meeting the characters of the Forgotten Freedom.

"Your Majesty, I beg you to stop a moment and consider for a second treating these individuals like normal subjects. You are the King, the Lord of all you survey. Except, that is enforced milord by your armies of troopers and your wizards and the strength that comes from respect for tradition as well as your place as given by the gods."

"What are these men? These men sir are those whom will think absolutely nothing of killing every single one of your guards if you send them onto their group. They will further never rest at that point from hunting you down and killing you because you have betrayed them. They value this perception of gratitude and their own infallibility more than they value your life or the lives of all of your men. Worse, your guards will prove to be meaningless to these assassins. They wield powers that can shake the very foundations of the castle and bring down the walls with such ease as you might consider them an earthquake. Their warriors can slice up dozens of armed men and take hundreds of arrow bolts without dying. They survive fireballs and bolts of lightning from the Heaven and seem to grow stronger as they kill."

"There will be no place in Heaven or ground where you can hide for they will remember your slight and they will....if not strong enough now...eventually return to destroy you even if it is years later. They will consider themselves utterly and completely justified that you are a tyrant and evil along with beyond redemption. Worse, the people will agree with them. In our world, we are fallible men who sit on thrones of gold with crowns won from ancient conquerors. We placate the gods with gifts and we leave sleeping dragons lying as we resign ourselves to the unnameable horrors that dot our lands."

“These men do not accept that. They wrestle with the dragons, destroy the armies of the humanoids…and by armies I mean ARMIES, and lay waste to the hosts of horrors both ancient as well as surreal with their weapons that individually match the greatest legends. They ARE legends already because we the weak and humble humans of the land are now close to being the dominant species because they have cast low demons, eldritch horrors, and wizards thousands of years old without the slightest hesitation. They can be killed but these men simply go forth to the Dark Realms to retrieve their dead. Villagers flock to their daughters and wives to them when they do not give slavish devotion that they hang those insipid enough to insult them. Believe me majesty when I say that if they want your crown….they could have it.”

“However, this is not something you should be unhappy about. Merely accept that they are as close to the gods in living form as you are likely to meet. They will gladly help you destroy the Kraken underneath the depths and take the treasures of a forgotten Empire. Tell them to do these things and you may yet keep them from idly laying waste to great hordes. Bury the treasure they bring back for their aid is fickle and you may invite jealousy. Also, do not attempt to take what they feel is theirs for they know nothing of law but their own conscience.”

“Hang me for these words if you think them treasonous but know they are TRUE.”
turalisj

03-25-06, 11:12 PM		Cpt. Shortsight (drow warmage captain): Hey, you forgot spitting in the face of the gods!
rampant

03-26-06, 01:39 AM		Satnak - Gods? where i wanna zorch em.
Kaizer_Ryu

03-26-06, 09:47 PM		Satnak sits down to dinner with a well earned bowl of chili. The last barrel became sentient, and she had only just killed it again.

Satnak: (To the now dead chili) That's more like it. I told you not to run. (Takes a bite) ...the hell?

The chili that was on her spoon has mysteriously vanished. Satnak takes another bite, watching closely this time. Again, the chili disappears just before it enters her mouth.

Satnak: Grrrrrr....

Grabbing the bowl, she attempts to eat it directly. The contents disappear just as she puts the bowl to her lips.

Satnak: Son of a *****!

(In the hall outside)
Volrath: Man, this is evil, even for you!

Terra: I know. :devil: Isn't it great?

Volrath: Yeah!! I haven't had this much fun with a curse in ages!

Satnak finds that the chili is warping back to the barrel. She grabs the barrel and tries to eat from it. All the chili disappears, and one of the empty barrels rattles slightly.

Satnak: BLOODY MOL!!!!!

Terra: No one, and I mean NO ONE, gets the best of me...

Satnak finds the chili in the other barrel, only to have it warp again. This process repeats for a while with an increasingly desperate and hungry Satnak in pursuit.

Satnak: Nooooo! Come back chili! So hungry....

Terra smiles and walks away, Volrath reluctantly following.

Satnak: GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Terra: (smiling blissfully) Ahhhh....the sweet sounds of cracking sanity....
JakeQuistis

03-27-06, 12:47 AM		Hehehe. Since it seems like Allen hasn't be forgotten about as a member of the crew, I'll be putting up some more things with him probably.
Phantomcrossing

03-27-06, 01:34 AM		A lone half giant waits at the port in Stormreach. He sees as a black spec appears over the horizon, comes closer, goes a bit away, comes closer again, starts zigging and zagging, dips, and then proceeds towards the docks. It becomes visible as the forgotten freedom, and soon the half giant, now clearly identified as Norbaz, redies his new and trusted grappling crossbow as the ship is showing no signs of slowing down for a landing.

Norbaz- Vacations are good, but sometimes its good to come home.

The grappling crossbow bolt races through the air and snags itself upon an adamantine spike upon the keel.

John - Hey welcome back.

Norbaz climbs his way to the deck, despite ridiculous high speeds, and immediately finds himself accosted.

Satnak - YOU! CHILI! NOW!!!

(Norbaz returns, jumped up to Rouge 6 Assassin 5 and Psychic Warrior 2, I've kept track of all the **** that's gone down since joining...I think comparatively he's been underpowered...just playing catch up)
Kaizer_Ryu

03-28-06, 12:11 AM		Satnak runs off gleefully with a fresh bowl of chili and Norbaz is left wondering where his new stove came from as Terra walks in.

Terra: Pretty slick, huh?

Norbaz: And, you are...?

Terra: Oh, how thoughtless of me. My name is Terra, resident drugrunner, and I joined while you were away. I traveled with Volrath and Muradin for a while before they came here.

Norbaz: Oh, those two. They destroyed my kitchen in the first place, you know.

Terra: I know, but Muradin probably saved your lives. Not the best way to go about it, really, but still....

Norbaz: Volrath's really that bad of a cook?

Terra: Let's just say that eating the tamest thing he's ever prepared, and remember, this is after I made him take a few things out, makes you feel like your internal organs are being pulled out through your nose with Doog's Chain of Command while being forced to drink Alchemist Fire.

Norbaz: When the Captain returns, I may have to suggest that as a new punishment....

Terra: Kithle liked the idea. Anyway, I've heard a lot about you and have been looking forward to meeting you.

Norbaz: Why's that?

Terra: Your approach to evil is not unlike mine. We both prefer subtlety and underhandedness to overt brutality. Besides, anyone who makes a popular dish into a weapon of mass destruction seems like my kind of person.

Norbaz: I do what I can. But that still doesn't explain the kitchen...

Terra: That would be my doing. I've already made a lot of money off my newest drug, and felt you should get a cut.

Norbaz: What's it got to do with me? I just got back.

Terra: I based it off your chili. I figured anything that caustic should have some great hallucinogenic properties, and it payed off.

Norbaz: I smell a catch. No one does something like this without expecting something in return....

Terra: True, but I think you'll like my offer. In exchange for 25% of the profits off this drug, I can expect your help in my future endeavors.

Norbaz: What kind of help would this entail?

Terra: Nothing too dangerous, just helping me test my products. I like to observe behavior changes without the subject's knowledge. I would also be more than happy to hear any ideas you may have.

Norbaz: ...40%.

Terra: 30.

Norbaz: 35.

Terra: 33.

Norbaz: Done.

Terra and Norbaz shake hands as shivers run down the collective spines of the rest of the crew....
LugWrench

03-28-06, 12:38 PM		Mickey and Devon are walking down the hallway, Mickey is drinking a Cure Light Rum, and Devon is flipping through his little black book.

Mickey: I tells ya, theres somethin in the food *hic*. Ive got people coming in complaining about cramps, and sayin that theys seein all kinds a' stuff.

Devon: Oh, that. Norbaz got back the other night. The chilli is back up to full power now.

Mickey: Naw, naw, it aint that. Im thinkin that Terra chick has something to do with it.

Devon: Ah, yes. The sultry druggist. Now theres a woman worthy of my time and talents... *grins*

Mickey: Yeah, that will keep her busy for a couple minutes.

Devon: Au Contrare, I happen to know a certain mixture she keeps that revs up her-

Captain Jarlot rounds the corner, grabs the rest of Mickeys potion and downs in in one shot, then tosses the empty over his shoulder.

Jarlot: Well, that takes care of that dead soldier. Whats up, gang?

Mickey: Devon was just telling me the biggest whopper Ive ever heard. Oh, and the food is spiked.

Jarlot: Well, that goes without saying around here. Whatcha got in mind?

Devon: Well, supposedly, the crew has been seeing stuff. Halucinations and such. Im merely daydreaming about that new chick Terra, in nothing but her--

Jarlot: halucinations, huh? Like what?

SKUGGAFOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM
A loud explosion blasts out of Phollys lab. Pholly goes darting down the corridor, clothing burning away, and shouting 'waterwaterwaterwaterwaterwaterwater!!!'

Jarlot: Did you guys see that?

Mickey: Yup.

Devon: Kinda wish I hadnt, but yeah.

Jarlot: And it was Pholly, right?

Mickey: Yuppers

Devon: Dont know anyone else that.....short.

Jarlot; On fire?

Devon: Definitely.

Mickey: As usual.

Jarlot: Well, everything seems to be in order. Carry on then.
Kaizer_Ryu

03-29-06, 03:26 PM		Devon sits moping after Terra just shot him down for the fifth time.

Devon: I don't get it! How does she resist my charms?

Marish: I think the answer to that is pretty obvious...

Michael: She ignores me completely. Something's just not right.

Marish: I don't know why you two keep trying to win a losing battle...

Michael: What do you mean by that?

Marish: You mean you can't tell?

Devon: Huh?

Marish: Haven't you noticed? She keeps staring at a certain person whenever they're in the room.

Michael: Well, she does keep her eye on Lisa a lot. But I don't see..........wait...are you saying what I think you're saying?

Marish: Yep.

Devon: That is so hot...
rampant

03-29-06, 05:17 PM		Kithle - O kantash I have a surprise for you.

Kantash - What?!

Kithle - (whaps Kantash with newspaper)

Kantash - Yeeeeeeeooooooouuuuuch!!!

Kithle - Its a paper golem with the shaping property and ghost touch cool huh?

Kantash - My mind seed!?

Kithle - Doesn't work on me anymore i picked up a few things from sa'vor you didn't see in the tomb. Um also check your back.

Kantash - HUh?

Kithle - Andrea your turn.

(wraiths stream into the room from the walls, and grapple kantash)

Andrea - Your not as untouchable as you like to think Kantas.

Kithle - This crystal will delete mind-seed from your repitoire, dominating the redshirts is one thing, but we cannot allow you to replicate yourself like that its making the redshirts hard to handle and difficult to use properly. (activates crystal)

Kantash - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'll be good

Kithle - Not on my watch you wont.

Andrea - are we done here

Kithle - yeah (swallows crystal), there now no one can use it but I can save it for if it becomes necesary. Don't let the wraiths go overboard the last thing we need is for kantash to rise as undead.

Andrea - got ya, time to go kids.

Wraiths - awwwww
Crystalforged

03-29-06, 11:16 PM		After Kithle leaves the room the second Kanatash teleports in.

Kanatash 1: What a bastard. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't hold it against him. If things work out he will still create an Illithid empire and I can certainly take advantage of that.

Kanatash 2: Maybe but he's still an idiot. He never remembers his history. We're nomads, not telepaths. We don't even know Mind Seed. That was a contingencied Mindwipe power.

Kanatash 1: He seems to have forgotten about you as well. Amazing how often people forget I have a duplicate. He did manage to delete the power though, did you lose it as well?

Kanatash 2: Yes, unfortunately. A pity too since we did enjoy erasing the memory of us committing some act so I would be blamed on Pholly. (pulls out a small chunk of crystal) On the bright side we still have this power stone of mind seed for later use. Any new thoughts on who our victem should be?

At this moment Kithle teleports back into the room.

Kithle: (snatching the power stone) I'll take this. It should prove very useful to me. (teleports out)

Kanatash 1: Well, it appears he's smarter than we give him credit for.

Kanatash 2: He's still a bastard though.
Phantomcrossing

03-30-06, 08:43 PM		Norbaz stands over a stovetop breathing deeply the aroma. Terra enters the kitchen baring a sealed jar.

Terra: Here's today's test batch.

Norbaz: Oh, thank you, (cracks open the lid and takes a wiff, dabs some on his finger and takes a taste) Hmm; Blood, Fine powdered Devil Weed, Dreamlily paste, and...is that ground Siebryss Shard?

Terra: Still an idea in the experimental stage, anyone on board with a dragon mark should be in for an interesting experience.

Norbaz: I must say, creative application. Though I'm a little worried about the mixed side affects.

Terra: Well that's why I'm testing it.

Norbaz: The bulk of this crew aren't dragon marked. You want this batch just going in with Ketler's meal and some of the red shirt's meals?

Terra: No, full spread on this one...and then we're going into observation mode.

Norbaz: Alright...wait...this blood portion of the mixture...its not -

Terra: Straight from a dragon marked's veins.

Norbaz: Oh...this is going to end in tears...I'm going to get some image crystals for this one, the fallout should keep me steeped in back up blackmail for years.
LugWrench

03-30-06, 11:55 PM		Tabitha is in the messhall, debating whether or not to eat the chilli. She has a large ledger in front of her and looks very very upset. Hoybee stumbles in, and manages to find a seat without stumbling or spilling anything.

Hoybee: Evening, Tabitha dear. Hows everything going for you?

Tabitha: Terrible, Hoy. Ive been going over the ships finances. Theres enough money for one weeks payroll, and thats it. Between the repair bills fro Pholly and his accidents, and the heroic ammounts of booze imbibed by the crew, there just isnt enough money in thw world to pay all the bills.

Hoybee aims a Ray of Frost at his bowl, to cool his chilli. He accidentally cuts loose with a Maximized, Empowered Cone of Cold.

Hoybee: Oops. Musta put too much english on that one. Well, what about Devon? Couldnt he be of help?

Tabitha (Brushing frost off her ledger) What? Youre kidding? You want to pimp that pathetic loser out for money? We would be even deeper in debt.

Hoybee: No, no, you have me wrong, my dear. *Hoybee aims a Burning Hands at the chilli, but hits it with a Flare spell, instead* Hmm... Musta got the accent wrong. I mean, Tabitha, we put him out, and women pay him NOT to escort them.

Tabitha *adds up some numbers with an abbacus* Hey, thats it! We would be back in the black, plus a few hundred grand.

Tabitha stands up, collects her things and walks out, saying back over her shoulder, "Great going, Hoybee."

Hoybee aims another Burning Hands at the chilli, this time nailing his bowls with a Delayed Blast Fireball.

Hoybee: Aw crap. Close enough.
Kaizer_Ryu

03-31-06, 03:26 AM		(Kanatash is yelling at :coolcthul as Terra approaches)

Kanatash: I still can’t believe how pathetic you are! You used to be feared by all living things and most of your fellow gods! Now look at you!

:coolcthul : (on the verge of tears) Please stop yelling. Can’t we just get along?

Terra: :coolcthul ?

:coolcthul : Terra! I was planning on stopping by...

Terra: Man, you have changed. I mean, Kithle told me it was bad, but…

Kanatash: You’ve met before?

:coolcthul : Yeah. Volrath’s father and I go way back. I met her when they came by to visit him.

Terra: You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. During the last time, one of my experiments went missing, and-

:coolcthul : I DIDN’T DO IT!!!!

Terra: …what?

:coolcthul : Uh...I mean…um…

Terra: I frickin knew it! That set me back five years!

:coolcthul : But it was mocking me! I had to eat it!

Terra: *sigh* Whatever. But that may explain what happened to you.

Kanatash: What do you mean?

Terra: Well, the plant :coolcthul ate was never designed to be ingested raw, and even processed it should have been taken only in very small amounts. If a mortal had done what he did, it would have killed them at least 17 times and made it impossible to be raised.

:coolcthul : But it was so good!

Kanatash: Wait...so you’re saying that it was so powerful it could fry the brain of a Great Old One?

Terra: Well, that was a possibility at least.

Kanatash: And you felt the need to make this…why?

Terra: Do you need a reason to sow chaos and depravity?

Kanatash: ...good point.
JakeQuistis

03-31-06, 10:27 AM		Allen was in the mess hall, quietly eating his third bowl of chili.
"I wonder what the cook put into the chili this time.. It's really quite good." He thinks to himself, not realizing that it was because of the blood component of it. And then..
"Woah.. This bowl is so huge... And this spoon is so small.. How am I going to eat it all?" He suddenly says, staring at the third bowl of chili oddly. "I mean, man.. I didn't know bowls were this large! It's like.. it's so big it's small man...."
Allen then collapsed on the floor, because although undead are normally immune to poisons and hallucinogenics, when you combine several things such as blood and dragonshards, you get interesting results all over.
T'jai Aracan

03-31-06, 04:35 PM		5095 in case it was forgotten the captain gets a (substantial) cut of any thing developed on his ship
5096 anyone wishing to admit to "neglecting" the captains portion will be able to avoid most of the requisite punishment
5097 I could care less what you think you...
5098 Good point!
5099 anyone directly involved in the captains food preparation is exempt from punishment in the event of a violation of rules 5095 and 5096
5100 What? WITH A WHAT?? there's no way that would fit in my ... well that's just appalling! and a what?!? Why would you even appropriate such a thing...
5101 exemption from punishment for violation of rules 5095 and 5096 will hereby be extended to anyone involved in the recent scheming...


Name: Cabin Boy
Race: Elan
class: unknown
alignment: Lawful neutral

One of the legends of the Kalashtar states that one possible method of ending the machinations of the dreaming dark is the coming of the next age of Dal Quor. Unfortunately this is common knowledge on both sides of the conflict and so in a preemptive strike the dreaming dark sought out birth stirrings of the next age awaited it's coalescence and bound it into the form of a teenage Inspired. Cabin Boy is aware of his origins and figures the safest place for him to be (also the most likely one that will get him back to Dal Quor where he can fulfill his destiny) is in the heart of Chaos that is the Forgotten Freedom. Also likes the Irony that the ships name bears for his people. He is possessed of a Dali Lama like acceptance of others that often makes them take an uncomfortable look at themselves stands about 5'4" is bald and looks Indian

Cabin Boy : Captain

In the middle of taking a long drought of cure moderate Brandy

Jarlot: :blink: !!! Who the hell are you?!?

Cabin Boy: Your cabin has been cleaned as has the lower decks as you ordered before I began my task 2 years ago.

Jarlot: Uh, :blush: good, uh what was it I asked you to do next??

Cabin Boy: I believe we were going to...


Interrupted by the arrival of Mickey

Mikey: Captain you might wanna get out here Erk's up the mast again (still not sure why we have one) and we can’t convince him he’s not a ...

:mymy: Well if it ain't the boy wonder...

Jarlot: Oh for the love of myrna!


5102 Cabin boy is not the Boy Wonder.
5103 I know he does wondrous things, that's not what I'm referring to and you know it...
5104 Yeah he is an agile little sprite...well that's what cabin boys Do...
5105 WHAT!! US being Gay for each other does not make him my sidek... :bigeyes: !!! WE ARE NOT GAY FOR EACH OTHER!!!
5106 :rant:STOP SNICKERING!! THAT'S IT! Anyone referring to the cabin boy or the captain as being; gay for each other, the dynamic duo or any derivatives there of; will be dipped in holy water, tarred, feathered, liquid keelhauled, then keelhauled
5107 NO I would still be this sensitive about this if I wasn't bat...
5108 FOR THE LAST FRIGGIN TIME I AM NOT BATMAN!!!

Cabin Boy: hi mikey how have you been

Mikey: ah you know the usual mayhem and debauchery !

Cabin Boy: you know at some point in your whoring you become a :censored: yourself

Mikey: you kiddin kid I was a :censored: long before

At Cabin Boys :smirk:

Mikey: :confused: HEY wait a minute!

As Cabin BOY wanders off

Mikey: DID THAT KID JUST CALL ME A :censored: !! and Worse did he make me call myself a :censored:
Kaizer_Ryu

03-31-06, 09:34 PM		Terra: Captain, you of all people know you don't eat the same crap as the rest of them. How could I possibly be spiking your food?

Jarlot: I don't know, but I'm positive I'm seeing things! Horrible things - spidery and elusive - that are not meant to be seen by mortal men!

Terra: No, no, that's not me. I've caught Volrath trying to sneak into your room several times. I don't know what he's doing, but I think he's trying to get Kanatash to apprentice him.

Jarlot: Well that's never good...but, um, did you just say "the rest of them?" You mean you don't eat that stuff either?

Terra: Oh, I could if I wanted to, I just don't need to is all. (she pulls out a knarled staff from her cloak) Do you know what this is?

Jarlot: Should I?

Terra: I guess only someone familiar with staves would. This is Treebrother, one of the legacy weapons. Thanks to this, all I really need is about two hours of sunlight a day.

Jarlot: What is it with you and rare items?! I mean the Ring, the grafts, the legacy weapon, somehow blocking psionic attacks, and who knows what else. How do you possibly afford this stuff?

Terra: That will be made clear when and if the time comes. I'm having too much fun messing with the Psions on board to just tell you. Plus, Slip's listening in.

Slip: Damn...(uncloaks and leaves)

Jarlot: How do you DO that! I've known her for years, and still can't tell where she is!

Terra: :devil:
Charles Phipps

03-31-06, 10:36 PM		Jarlot: Ketler, what is that?

Ketler: A time machine.

Jarlot: Why is it shaped like a toaster?

*Toast pops up*

*Captain Zaps away*

Ketler: Because, I...oh hell.

*Jarlot returns, is suddenly possessed of a Moses like beard*

Jarlot: I've just spent TWO HUNDRED YEARS in the past struggling to get back and living throughout events of the most important periods in history!

Ketler: Err...I hope you didn't change anything.

Jarlot: You mean like murdering most of the crew as babies?

Ketler: Err....

Jarlot: Well I obviously succeed TOTALLY now did I?

Ketler: Well, at least Sharns back....

Jarlot: No, that's just the damn gnomes refusing to let go of their investment. I also beat King Jarlot to death and took his place. I told all of my children by many illegitimate wives to arm themselves incredibly, not to trust one another, and refused to name an heir while privately assuring each one they had my support. I'm sure that prevented the Last War.

Ketler: Oh dear.
LugWrench

04-01-06, 01:15 AM		5094. I am not allowed to screw around with time.
5095. We all know that Norbaz chilli is spiked, but can everyone stop taking credit for it?
5096. Musnt encourage a demon to possess the chilli.
5097. Terra, just because you have a thing for Lisa, that doesnt mean Devon and Michael will stop making passes at you.
5098. They make passes at just about anything humanoid and female.
5099. Just ask Michael about the medusa incident.
5100. Devons poetry is not to be used to interrogate prisoners.
5101. We do have -some- humanity, after all.
5102. Pholly is hereby forbidden to ferment the chilli.
5103. Next person to spike the coffee....dies.
5104. No trial.
5105. No appeal.
5106. DIES.
Charles Phipps

04-01-06, 01:56 AM		Jarlot: V...hold up.

V: Hmmm?

Jarlot: Somethings happening....

V: The Revolution at last?

Jarlot: V...lean in...

V: Yessir!

PIMP SLAP

*A halo like glow suddenly engulfs Jarlot*

*Golden Armor +5 appears around him*

*His eyepatch becomes diamond encrusted around the Eye of Vecna at the center*

*His cutlass becomes a +14 Cutlass of Reaving*

*A cape flutters around him of spun moonbeams*

V: OOOoooooooo!

Jarlot: At last, I have achieved...EPIC LEVELS

V: So what now?

Jarlot: Two half-elves at the SAME time.

V: That's it?

Jarlot: Epic levels are pretty much the only way I could get it to happen.

V: ....okay.

Jarlot: I'll also probably drink TWO barrels of ale a day instead of one....
Kaizer_Ryu

04-01-06, 03:27 AM		After a hard day of smiting Michael and trying to clean the Redshirt blood off the Silver Flame in the chapel (Volrath is very sloppy), Lisa returns to her room.

Lisa: What's this?

On her pillow, she sees what appears to be a flower. It is deep red and of a type she has never seen. She cautiously picks it up, looking for signs of a trap, but nothing happens.

Lisa: Maybe it really is just a flower...

The fragrance is beautiful, and in the mirror she notices that the color compliments her eyes wonderfully.

Lisa: I wonder who it's from...
rampant

04-01-06, 05:47 AM		Satnak - No matter how this turns out, this will be fun.

Kithle - Oh yes, I see no reason to interfere at this point.

Kanatash - I agree, your still a bastard though Kithle.

Sa'vor - Ditto on both accounts.

Satnak - Though the chili was better whithout all the hallucenogens, they distract from the taste. I 'll delay that talk, in favor of this spectacle.

Kithle - I keep forgetting to ask, why do we have these meetings? I mean at best we try to keep each other out of our own plots, the rest of the time we are rivals or outright enemies.

Sa'vor - Because we are the most powerful people on this Levitating Looney Bin, and we get bored easy.

Kanatash - We might wanna consider some new hobbies.

Satnak - Lets just hold back for now, I'm gonna go see if Norbaz has any of the good chili not this spiked garbage.
Charles Phipps

04-01-06, 05:59 AM		Marish: I hate that everyone fawns over Lisa.

Andrea: You could always KILL her.

Marish: That's your solution to everything.

Andrea: Yes.

Marish: Okay, rig me up some polyjuice potion.

Andrea: This isn't Harry Potter.

Marish: You're like an evil Hermione though.

Andrea: True.

Marish: Something not poisoned.

Andrea: Damnit.

Marish: YAY!

Andrea: In the meantime I shall figure out a horrible Karrnathian nobles vengeance on the Druidess who profanes the necromantic ways of my homeland with her presence.

Marish: Oh dear.

Andrea: I know, I shall SNUB her.

Marish: No wonder you don't appear much in this series.
Phantomcrossing

04-01-06, 09:13 AM		Satnak enters the kitchen to see Norbaz working over what looks to be a new pot, as it is shinier and more expensive in appearance than anything else in the kitchen that matches it save for the oven and stovetop.

Satnak: Excuse me, Norbaz, but I was wondering if I could acquire some chili? Perhaps without the recent additions.

Norbaz doesn't look up from his machinations over the pot.

Nobaz: Heating cabinet, second shelf from the right, green pot. Should be labled 12 Alarm.

Satnak: Oh, thank you very much...what exactly are you working on?

Norbaz drops some various bubbling fluids into the pot as a ring of blue smoke rises from it.

Norbaz: I'm working on reaching thirteen alarms.

Satnak: Come again?

Norbaz: I'm trying to make Thirteen Alarm Chili, but I'm having trouble doing so considering the special circumstances of my usual blend.

Lifting a pouch, Norbaz begins sprinkling a red powder into the pot, a plume of red smoke erupts from it and the room is filled with a spicey, yet delightfully enthralling aroma. As the scent spreads Andrea enters the kitchen to see this rising smoke, and Satnak moving a pot of Chili from one of the cabinets as Norbaz watches over the stove.

Andrea: Norbaz, have you seen Terra, I need to have words with her.

Norbaz, surprised and startled by this voice abrubtly fumbles with the bag in his hand, dumping all its powdered contents into the pot, causing an expulsion of red smoke, and then gouts of green from it's top. The air begins smelling less enticing, and more offendingly spiceful.

Norbaz: Uh oh.

Satnak & Andrea: Uh oh?

Norbaz turns the oven fan on full blast and in the process some of the green smoke burns and corrodes his skin. He turns to Satnak and Andrea and shouts.

Norbaz: RUN! I'VE OVER SHOT MY INTENDED ALARMS OF SPICYNESS BY A GREAT DEAL!
Dex

04-02-06, 03:16 AM		*A massive, bone-rattling explosion reverberates through the ship.*

V: Anyone feel anything just now?

Bruce Ki: Nope.

Mickey: Nup.

Stupid: ...

Ajihazi: Not I.

Lisa: Huh?

Devon: What rhymes with 'musculature'?

Tony the Tiger: THEY'RRRRRREEEEEE GREAT!

John: Anyone want a hug? Ohh... :weep:

Ketler: Wait! I wasn't me that time!

*From some place near the ship's helm*

Slip: STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!
Kaizer_Ryu

04-02-06, 05:26 PM		Michael sits in the corner of the galley as Terra enters.

Terra: Hey, Blackguard. I have a proposition for you.

Michael: (Perking up) Yeah?

Terra: Well, it’s more of a challenge really. If you can beat me in a drinking contest, I spend the night with you, totally subject to your whims.

Michael immediately begins drooling.

Terra: BUT! If I win, you agree to stop leering at me.

Michael: Deal! Better get ready for a wild night, missy!

Pholly (still working off his debts as bartender) wheels over a large keg of ale as a crowd gathers.

(3 hours later – now on their 8th keg)

Volrath: No matter how often I see this, it just never gets old! :D

Terra: (completely unaffected) Ready to concede yet?

Michael is currently having difficulty lifting his head as he slides slowly off his chair. He mumbles incoherently before passing out on the floor.

Terra: I’ll take that as a yes.

Doog: Whoa! And Michael cheats at these games!

Jarlot: (Leaning over to Kanatash, whispering) I probably shouldn't be surprised, but...how the hell did she do that?

Kanatash: High level Druids gain poison immunity. Apparently alcohol is included in that definition.

Jarlot: Why didn’t you say anything?

Kanatash: I was curious as to Michael’s alcohol tolerance level. Plus, I want to see the look on the poor fool’s face when he realizes he lost at drinking to a woman. :devil:

5107: Terra is no longer allowed to enter drinking contests. We simply don’t have the storage capacity.
5108: No, not even if you can make the stuff yourse-what? Seriously?
5109: I stick by 5107. I agreed to let you use the crew as guinea pigs, but NO ONE messes with MY booze.
Albert

04-03-06, 05:11 AM		Hi everyone. Um - is Michael considered "owned" by any poster? I'm sorta brainstorming on how he might respond to this.

(Consider Terra's wording. Among other things, she didn't specify _which_ drinking contest would be valid, so if Michael can figure out a way to beat her in a rematch, either _he's_ off the hook on the "no leering" thing or _she's_ obliged to spend a night with him. Or at least that's how he could argue it.)

Or is Michael too pathetic for a comeback?


Hmmmm . . . anyone own Lisa, either? Anyone mind if she gets a little jealous about Michael having the dedication to go after someone difficult?

-Albert
turalisj

04-03-06, 06:57 AM		I'm thinking it would turn this into a PbP soap opera.....
Charles Phipps

04-03-06, 07:02 AM		Hi everyone. Um - is Michael considered "owned" by any poster? I'm sorta brainstorming on how he might respond to this.

(Consider Terra's wording. Among other things, she didn't specify _which_ drinking contest would be valid, so if Michael can figure out a way to beat her in a rematch, either _he's_ off the hook on the "no leering" thing or _she's_ obliged to spend a night with him. Or at least that's how he could argue it.)

Or is Michael too pathetic for a comeback?

Hmmmm . . . anyone own Lisa, either? Anyone mind if she gets a little jealous about Michael having the dedication to go after someone difficult?

-Albert

Well the story of the "Show" belongs to everyone I think. I think everyone is willing to let their characters lose some and win some at once.

And same with Lisa.

The main point to the characters is of course to keep the fact of who they are to some extent.

Likeable but twisted.
Albert

04-03-06, 08:50 AM		I'm thinking it would turn this into a PbP soap opera.....

Naw, I'm just thinking in terms of her being a little more free with the Hammer of Pain than usual. But that's for when/if it looks like Michael has a real shot at winning.






There was a knock on Andrea's door a couple of days later.

"You can't come in!" she called out. The door opened anyway.

"Good to see I'm not interrupting anything," Michael commented as he shut the door. Andrea bookmarked her page and closed the book, sighing.

"Grab him," she ordered, and the enhanced zombies on either side closed in. He smirked as they tightened their grip.

"Blackguard, sweetie," he reminded her. "Care to guess how many of your zombies I can dominate?"

"Not enough, I promise you." She lifted an eyebrow. "So, why are you bothering me?"

"I want your help to beat Terra in a drinking contest."

She laughed. "What, you think she'll accept a rematch?"

"Of course she will. By the way, you do have defenses against scrying and so forth, right?"

"Naturally."

"Good. I need you to come up with something that will disable her immunity to alcohol."

"That's going to take time to prepare. Also, why in the name of Vol should I help you?"

Michael smiled. "Because you hate her."

The eyebrow lifted again. "What makes you think that?"

He shrugged as well as he could, given the zombies. "I've had to invest in observational skills since that hot ***** of a paladin came onboard. I spend, what, 66% of my waking time ogling the women on this ship?"

Andrea blinked. "You actually try to figure out how we're feeling and thinking?"

"What?! **** no! But ever since Marish pointed out that Terra's hot for Lisa, I've wondered about the rest of you."

Andrea glared, and prepared to blast . . . "Wait. Why did you have to invest in 'observational skills' after Lisa came on board?"

He chuckled. "You really didn't pay much attention to the corpses we brought in for you back then, did you?"

"Not beyond determining viability for undeath, no. Do I want to know?"

"Do you care?" She shrugged, then shook her head, so he continued. "Back in the good old days, Doog and I got to **** a lot of victims. Now I've got to keep an eye out for her." He growled at some memory. "I blame you for that, by the way."

She sat back down. "How do you figure?"

"If you'd been more willing to look after the crew, Jarlot wouldn't have accepted her and, later, Mickey. But he figured he needed someone who'd heal for practically nothing, so . . . them."

"Well, if he'd let me do my job," she huffed, "we wouldn't have to worry about a living crew."

He snorted. "The rest of us need the occasional living redshirt, m'dear. Don't be greedy." She rolled her eyes, but he continued. "That's a bit beside the point. Are you willing to help out?"

She :plotting: for a few minutes. "I suppose I am. But this is going to take a while to make."

"That's fine. I've gotta have the unfair rematch first."

"You think you have a way to beat her without me? Why not use that both times?"

"Gotta be fair. Otherwise Lisa will go down on my *** like a ho on a ****."

She snickered. "You only wish. By the way, are you sure you can drink her under the table if all magic is turned off?"

"I can drink two dwarven professionals under the table, one after the other, without cheating. If she can beat me fair and square, well then . . . I'll have to find some other way to have her ***."

"Right." She opened her book back up, then paused. "Michael, why do you care? She's a lesbian, according to you. She'll never come to you willingly."

He chuckled, then laughed outright. "Willingly? My dear, my very dear Andrea, my poppet, my bedtime snack, if I cared how willing women are, I'd have invested skill points into Seduction by now. Only the strong and the pure are worth trying to seduce."

She waved a hand, and the zombies wrenched him around to face the door. Then . . . "Before I toss you out," she snarled through clenched teath, "why not just find more 'weak' women to rape?"

He :smirk: over his shoulder. "Because," he replied, hand on the doorknob, "an opportunity to take someone strong is not to be passed up."

He barely had the door open before he went soaring through it, landing head-first. He got up, rubbing his nose. No blood. Good.

"This plotting **** is for *******, I don't care how good Norbaz and the others are at it. Brute force is just plain better." He sighed. "I really need to out-level Lisa one of these days."
Crystalforged

04-03-06, 09:22 AM		Hi everyone. Um - is Michael considered "owned" by any poster? I'm sorta brainstorming on how he might respond to this.

(Consider Terra's wording. Among other things, she didn't specify _which_ drinking contest would be valid, so if Michael can figure out a way to beat her in a rematch, either _he's_ off the hook on the "no leering" thing or _she's_ obliged to spend a night with him. Or at least that's how he could argue it.)

Or is Michael too pathetic for a comeback?


Hmmmm . . . anyone own Lisa, either? Anyone mind if she gets a little jealous about Michael having the dedication to go after someone difficult?

-Albert
Personally the way I figure there is really only one rule on this thread. That is don't premanetly kill/remove from the picture any of the characters created by someone else. Redshirts are always fair game though. Other than that it's just common courtsy stuff.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-03-06, 12:16 PM		( Sa'vor and Void watched form the shadows; things where getting intresting. everyone was so busy that they hadn't noticed him, Kithle and Slip leave to gather the eye. and now they had it. the first mark had been found, as the Prophecy spoke " There shall be one of elemental birth, a illithid and the last hier of Vol whom shall gather great power and chaos around them. with this chaos they shall forge a new illithid empire to last a million years".
All the while Sa'vor smiled, a odlly desturbing smile, Terra was good. very good. she manipuilated the crew members around her like pawns in the greater game, in the end, they where meaningless. Terras immunity to Psionic energyies desturbed Sa'vor, obviously she'd found a technique. sadly, she wasnt immune to manipulation aand the Arcane. she'd tried to test her hallucinigens on him and failed, since Sa'vor was neither alive, dead or undead. he was all and none, he was the light and the dark, he was the arcane, the psionic and the divine. and he'd been the plaything of the Lords of Madness and Dal Qour, but now the joke was on them. he'd seen their plot, and he was ready. all he was waiting for was the first attack)

( Terra strides through the forgotten freedoms interior; beliveing herself to be invisible. not even Kantash and Kithle dared mess with her; Sa'vor appears from the shadows)
Terra: hello, i dont belive we've been properly introduced. I am Terra

Sa'vor: Yes, the drug master extrodinare ( Bows) your defeat of the Brute Micheal was most amusing. i conggratulate you for your supreme cheating abilities.

Terra: what was your name again?

Sa'vor: I am Sa'vor; last heir of Vol. i am perhaps one of the crews least trusted members of the crew. little incidents here and there.

Terra: well, im wondering, could you test these plants?

Sa'vor: I'd rather not, i tend to aviod things like this. enhances my urge to kill you see.

Terra: how come i only see you now and then?

Sa'vor: I prefer to not reveal myself to new crewmembers; all that talk of me hunting them. complete lies i tell you. i merely hunt the redshirts. keeps them awake

Terra: well, if you must excuse me, i must be off.

Sa'vor: Indee, good day.
( Slip fades into existance)
Slip: i really hate it when you talk like that

Sa'vor: i know, she's planning somthing. Kithle and Kantash have been sensing somthing the past few days, like a subtle spider web spinning around us. its either her, or someone whom has not revealed themself.

Slip: now, did she detect me then?

Sa'vor: No, she was completely unaware. its a good thing you made her belive she could detect you.

Slip: Jarlot is slightly insaner than usual

Sa'vor: the hallucingens are affecting him greater than other crew members. now i belive we should continue with the project.
LugWrench

04-03-06, 04:27 PM		Terra walks up to the bar, and knocks to get the attention of the bartender, Pholly.

Terra: Hey, redshirt. Just how much does Michael drink?

Pholly *spitshining a pint mug* You mean for real, or when hes cheating his ass off?

Terra: Both.

Pholly: Well, Ive seen him chug a keg of Maanvaki Grog and only barely get heart burn.

Terra: Man-what grog?

Pholly: Maanvaki. Devon scrounged it up for me a while ago, and Ive managed to figure out how its made. I keep a few Kegs of the stuff around. Its pretty powerful. I have to keep it in glass lined kegs, or it eats away at everything.

Terra: Hes drinking acid? Good gawds, that cant be good.

Pholly: Well, its good for more than just drinking. It cleans stuff real nice. As far as I know, its the only thing that will clean Norbaz's 12 alarm chilli from the pots. Does a nice job cleaning the privys, too.

Terra: And the guy drinks this drain cleaner? Wait, you can barely mix ceral and milk without it blowing up. How is it youre making this vileness?

Pholly: Well, its not easy. The ingredients arent explosive, either. Theyre just a bit nasty.

Terra: Now nasty is nasty?

Pholly: It would scare the necro chick to death.

Terra: Point taken. Is there any chance you could make up a double strength batch?

Pholly: Myabe. I dont know what it would do, though. Why, got someone you want to dissolve?

Terra: I wouldnt put it past Michael to challange me to a rematch. And come up with some new way of cheating. If the deck is going to be stacked, I want it to be staked in my favor.

Pholly: Well... I may be able to do something. I owe the bastard for making my lab blow up all those times.

Terra: Deal.

Lisa: *from down the hall* Terra, can I.....see you for a minute, please?

Terra: *winks at Pholly* Ta, dearie.
urial angel of death

04-03-06, 05:51 PM		Micheal is walking through a dark hallway ( Not a wise choice considering that he was is in the abberation cabin area, but Micheal never has beeen known for his smarts.)

A slimey red tentacle reaches out from the shadows about Micheal and pulls him off his feet. Clinging to the roof on the other end of the tentecle is Volrath.

Volrath : Why hello there. While I do enjoy seeing you humiliated, I can't let yopu lose another drinking contest to Terra.
(Micheal is unable to talk, becuase Volrath's tentecle has found a cozy spot right around Micheal's neck.)
Volrath : Terra's poison immunity is in no way magical it is simply because she is a powerful enough druid that they no longer harm her.

Volrath lets Micheal fall to the floor, and begins scampering away along the roof.

Volrath (souting back): By the way she isn't strictly a lesbian. She just...(Volrath's voice trails off)
Kaizer_Ryu

04-03-06, 09:30 PM		OOC: Dear lord, I've created a monster. :D I'm quite eager to see how this pans out...
Endless_Helix

04-03-06, 09:33 PM		John: So, Volrath...

Volrath: Mmmh?

John: Apparently I'm getting my sabbatical.

Volrath: Oh, that's nice.

John: Err... Why were you so keen on me getting a sabbatical?

Volrath: Hmmm... Well, Sa'vor is doing something rather pointless. He thinks he's threatened by Terra and is thus trying fight her off. Terra is sort of laughing at him behind his back. She thinks he's kind of funny. You know, I kind of hope it works out for Slip and him.

John: What does this have to do with me getting a sabbatical?

Volrath: I was getting to that. Well, Terra wants to set up Slip and Sa'vor. She thinks that Sa'vor needs some "good loving", and apparently she wants you to be the justice of the peace.

John: Huh?

Volrath: As to why you need the sabbatical, she wants you finally stop dithering around and take your vows to become a cleric.

John: Oh... okay. That makes sense now.

Volrath: Good!

*Volrath walks off, pulls out a small note pad and checks an item off, namely "A cleric of wood and metal". The title of the page is "The Domination of Sa'vor, Kithle, and the plan to drive Kanatash sane". He looks at the list again, puts it away, and walks off whistling to himself nonchalantly.*

Kanatash: He's up to something. I know it.

Kithle: Well what's new? Just about everyone except one or two of the newer redshirts are embroiled in some sort of scheme.

Kanatash: Yes, but I don't know what he's up to. That makes me very angry. Very very angry.

----

OOC: Here's a new character

Silence
Female human Binder 19

Silence was supposed to be a good girl. She came from a good family, went to a prestigious school, attended the Library of Korranberg, and yet she never once seemed to take a normal life. She always loved black clothes, black make-up and paler. It made her look surly and addicted to drugs, which at the time she was. It was about this time that she stumbled on one of her girlfriends trying to make a pact with a something to get Silence's boyfriend at the time. It failed miserably, but Silence totally dug the whole thing. That started her on the road to binding her first vestige. After that she read many of the great works concerning the far realms,where these things she summoned supposedly lived. So Silence on the outside appears to have profound daddy issues, multiple personalities, and enough body piercings to give her an armor bonus equal to full plate. Silence generally has a pact with Tenebrous because he's "So totally hot", Paimon because she likes swords, and Focalor because "He totally understands me."

She is notably into expressing he complete hatred of authority, regularly defying rules that prevent her from creating her own cult or enslaving people. Silence enjoys chopping up enemies in close combat, preferably while making mocking puns to whatever she may be fighting. Ironically, she idolizes V, who can't stand "such a wannabe".

Silence was picked up after a trip to Xen'drik, first as a red shirt and then she moved up the chain. She quickly threatened the captain, who was impressed by her ability to make a redshirt disappear. She now plots to try to get V, annoy Jarlot, and ensure the downdall of Satknok
Kaizer_Ryu

04-03-06, 10:38 PM		Terra: Hey, Slip.

Slip: (fades in) What now?

Terra: It seems that my ability to disrupt Psionics is making Sa'vor nervous.

Slip: Why do you say that?

Terra: You're his lackey, and you keep following me. I know you're there, whether you want me to or not. I just don't need to show it every time.

Slip: *Tsk* Fine, I admit it. But who wouldn't be?

Terra: True. I just felt I should tell you, Sa'vor, Kanatash and Kithle are not my targets. I just like screwing with them. :devil:

Slip: Why should I believe you?

Terra: You've seen enough to answer that question. I may be manipulative, but I know better than to take on people like them. I have encountered much in my travels, and I'm well aware that anomalies like Sa'vor are not to be trifled with.

Slip: And the drugs?

Terra: Natural curiosity. I've tried it on Volrath too, but to no avail.

Slip: Still, I wonder why you're telling me this...

Terra: Sa'vor is nervous because he can't read my intentions. He is realizing the limitations of Psionics, and just how much he relies on it.

Slip: And...?

Terra: If he hopes to lead Kithle on the path toward an Illithid empire, he'll be dealing with people that can styme his mind reading and are far more dangerous to them than I could ever hope to be.

Slip: You've done your homework....

Terra: All three of them need to branch out a bit in information gathering. A one-trick pony becomes obsolete sooner or later. There are many other, less direct ways to determine motives.

Slip: Seems you are more than you let on.

Terra: In regards to that, there is something else to tell him. They need to realize that the three of them are not the only ones with spies everywhere. Mental blind spots can be lethal...

Slip: What do you mean? They have nearly all the redshirts under some form of control...

Terra: What class am I?

Slip: Druid, but I don't see how tha-....you *****.

Terra: The rats on board have quite a lot of information. I have other means, but you'll have to figure those out for yourself.

Slip: I must say I'm impressed. I must also say I'm disappointed in Sa'vor for missing something so obvious. Still, why even give the impression that you're up to something?

Terra: I wanted to keep them on their toes. Creating an empire is one thing, getting there is another. Powerful forces may align to stop them if they are careless.

Slip: How would you know?

Terra: All in due time...
rampant

04-04-06, 01:33 AM		Kithle - excuse me you were talking about rats

Terra - Huh?

Slip - Where are you flayer?

Brown rat crawls on Terra's work bench.

Kithle - Do you honestly think one who has access to almost every ability a mortal has ever wielded would limit themselves? Terra I think you underestimate my cunning, did you honestly think we wouldn't take control of at least some of the animals on board?

Terra - So are you the rat or just projecting?

Kithle - woudn't you like to know, anyway I don't have time to ride heard on everything in ship all the time. I want to employ you as my spy master amongst the critters. Remember I will be watching you back.

Terra - Why should i?

Kithle - Magebred Dragonhawk, access to my sub-labs, and a warning Micheal has sought Andrea's aid in defeating you in Alchohol consumption.

Terra - Slip is he trustworthy.

Slip - Sort of he always does what he says, but...

Terra - close enough, but why else you schemer?

Kithle - I want micheal to swear off plotting for good. I don't need more compitition, and if Micheal gets the Idea that he can plot, it will get in my way, especially since my favorite pawns like chalky are inclined to follow booze, battle, and booty (you can take that both ways). I don't think he will become a good master mind simply interfere with the machinations of the more quailified plotters.

Terra - aaaannnnnnnnnnd...

Kithle - I wanna see the look on his face when you and Lisa hit it off, and he can't even watch.

Terra - You are a bastard.

Kithle - Thats what they tell me. The 'hawk will be passing the ship at noon tomorrow when we pass over the Eldeen reaches. I want your first report in three days, and find out what volrath is up to. Slip if you would be so kind Find Silence for me, I wan't to learn about this binding stuff.

Slip - Just eat her brain.

Kithle - I don't know how much power that would give me, i need to learn more about this before I can just rush in and pull the old wrap and suck. Gooday

Slip - Couldn't get past the piercings huh?

Kithle - That too, they pinch my tentacles.

Rat dissapears.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-04-06, 02:27 AM		Terra: Honestly, he is a bastard. Even I didn't notice he had control of some of the animals.

Slip: So, are you going to do it?

Terra: Why not? I have my reasons for helping, and I don't really have to become a "spy master amongst the critters" as he says. I've been one for years.

Slip: I don't expect a straight answer, but...for who?

Terra: Me.

Slip: :confused:

Terra: I keep tabs on virtually every corner of Ebberon. Why is a whole other conversation, and one best saved for later.

Slip: You enjoy being cryptic, don't you?

Terra: Immensly :D .

(later)

Squishy: So that's the situation, huh?

Terra: Roughly. I'm actually enjoying it. My skills have fallen off over the last few years, only working with morons, and getting stung a few times keeps me sharp.

Squishy: I can tell that you didn't come down here to just tell me this...

Terra: Indeed. I was going over my finances, and noticed a few...dicrepancies. You are the only one here I trust enough to take a look at this.

Squishy: Just like old times, eh? Very well. I'll let you know what I find.

Terra: Something else to keep in mind. Volrath is up to something. Potentially serious stuff, and I can only contain him so much.

Squishy: Still sees you as the 'big sister', huh? I guess it's only natural that he tries to one-up you from time to time. I'll see what I can do.
urial angel of death

04-04-06, 06:58 AM		Volrath glares at Lisa, who is picking up even more flowers

Volrath (to himself) : That horrible lady is going to take Terra away. She is going to pay.

Volrath (again to himself) : Don't worry to much. Her happiness won't last long when she figure out where those flowers come from. And remeber there will always be time for vengence later.

Volrath (still to himself) : How can you be sure?

Volrath (to himself) : Just trust me. :schemes:
Endless_Helix

04-04-06, 08:26 AM		V : Oh no. Not you.

Silence: OMG, It's V! OMG, it's been like what since we last saw eachother? Five years? You were like totally trying to blow the Brelish Parlement, and you ran out of spellvials of scorching ray, so I hooked you up with a hot little alchemist savant friend from school, right? How'd you like her? did she blahblah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblah like she did her boyfriend a couple of times. You know, if you were a vestige, I'd totally sell my soul to you.

V : Please just go away. You're giving me a headache.

Silence : Was that an inuendo? That was so funny V! Hahahahahaha!

V : Please, just kill me now... :weep:

Michael : Well, hello there little girl, what have we here?

Silence : Pig.

At this point Silence gives Michael the pimp slap of doom, (touch of the void full attack) leaving 3 huge bruises accross his face, throws him up into the air several feet and knocks the wind out of him. Silence then walks away after blowing a kiss to V, who's giggling.

Michael : Nice to meet you too, ***** ! V, who the **** is she? More importantly, how did you get her to want to shack up with you?

V Michael, you just got pimp slapped by a girl! Weeheehee!

Michael : V, if you ever laugh like that again, I will rip your throat out with my teeth. Now tell me who she is. NOW.

Doog walks by sporting a similar combination of bruises.

Doog : I see you met the same ice ***** I did. Who does she think she is, pimp slapping the master pimp?!

Devon : Hey guys I totally met this new girl! She LIKES my poetry!

V,Doog,Michael : Shut up Devon!

Devon : Alright, I'll admit it, she only liked one of my poems. The one about trying to ask out Andrea and discovering that Sa'vor was using her shape instead.

V : Devon, Vogon poetry compares favorably with yours. You redefine the term "horrid poetry".

Michael : Wait, Devon, what did she look like?

Devon : A total knock out! She did wear a bit too much black for my tastes. She said she was a "binder", whatever that means. I think it has to do with S+M. But anyways she said her name was Silence, which is funny because she talks incessantly.

V : That's her... bloody wannabe...

Doog : V, how did you meet up with her?

V : Don't make me say it. Please, it'd be too cruel.

Michael : Since when has that ever stopped us before?

Doog : If you don't tell us, we'll make Devon read you his poetry.

V : Alright, alright I'll spill. Basically, we went to the same highschool. We were part of the same social circles. She wanted to corrupt the school, and I wanted to convert it to communist values, or failing that, to blow it sky high. She was into all this occult stuff. I tried it with her a few times, but I couldn't get anything to come up.

Michael : Wait, repeat that last sentence, what with your mask and all.

V : I tried it with her a few times but I couldn't get anything to co... Michael. You are a pervert.

Everyone but V is falling on the floor laughing.

V : Michael, you do realize that I could have gotten her to **** you, right?

Michael : Would saying I'm sorry help?
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-04-06, 12:28 PM		( A dreaming dark agent drops on deck, his black cloak flutters around him, he'd been watching the crew for several days. all of them embrioled in thier own struggles and plots. the fools. Now was the time to act. Somthing moved in the background. The Agent spins round. just the wind. good. the agents screams tear the night and a flux of arcane energies fills the minds of all receptive enough to feel it, Sa'vor smiles down on the Agents broken body. looks like the Qouri wheren't even trying. wait. they where distracting him, of course. there was an agent on board, this was just the distraction. Viod fluttered down from the shadows.)

Sa'vor: Greetings Viod, how goes Kithle's plans?

Void: *CAW* Kithle says he's doing quite well, the eye has shown the location of another Mark. near the Lair of Erandis D'Vol

Sa'vor: Looks like we'll have to drop in on our realative then doesnt it

Void: Yes, It does *CAW* master, the abberations of the lower decks are advancing into our territory. and Volath has created somekind of field to stop my spying.

Sa'vor: Luckily i havnt tried scrying or using Psionic powers. im going to have to use the divine to get some answers. besides that, im just going to have to pay him a visit.

Void: yes, your next set of orders?

Sa'vor: Visit my contact within the Blood of Vol, ask him to investigate any sightings of a mark. and also, tell him to start casusing some unrest and discontent. just to keep my dear realative on her toes.

Void: Of course master. i obey

Sa'vor: well done Void, you are an asset. your position is permenant.

Void: Thank you master. you honour me.
( Void Takes off)
Sa'vor: ( to himself) Qouri agents, Volath plotting somthing serious. wait. he made lots of scarifices recently, thats got to mean somthing. he's been reading my journel, so he's planning somthing very dark. everywhere i look is plots and schemes, like webs, the rats listen. the dark breaths. each crew member is trying to gain a upperhand in this twisting plotical crew. no one can win, and the captain doesnt care.

Naz'roth: YO! how is you bein?

Sa'vor: I am fine Naz'roth, how is :coolcthul ?

Naz'roth: he's fine, he's no where as nasty as he was when i first met him.

Sa'vor: I know, he had such promise. anything to report old friend?

Naz'roth: its pretty quiet down in the cargo hold, the Chillis calmed down greatly. and the lesser demons are under control. though the abberations are trying to take more space.

Sa'vor: Obviously Volaths minions or experiments. Mine and Andreas undead are holding thier ground, though im going to have to get my hands on a few living breastplates for my Wight's.

Naz'roth: Of course. Thank you for restoring some of my power old friend, its more than i deserve.

Sa'vor: You helped my though the last war, and made me into the man i am now. if you need a favor dont hesitate to call.

Naz'roth: hope to see you soon. ( In Mabran) may the black moon guide you (Bowing)

Sa'vor: (Bowing) ( In Mabran) May the shadows be your cloak
( Naz'roth vanishes)
urial angel of death

04-04-06, 05:46 PM		Volrath and :coolcthul are in Volrath's lab, which contains among other things a husk of infinate worlds,several tomes glowing with dark power, large cylinders containing the body parts of strange creatures, a bottle releasing strange fumes, and a glowing summoning circle.

Volrath : Come on remember how things used to be. Just try to go back. If not then atleast give me some of your followers.

:coolcthul Well some of the star-spawn and deep ones have been asking for more action, you can use them, but I'm not going back

Volrath Fine.

:coolcthul leaves the room.

Volrath begins chanting. This causes the summoning circle to glow, with greater intencity. In the circle's center appears a byakhee. It looks like a winged beast with a decomposing human for the base body. Vulture like talons were where feet and hands should be. Its head was in the general shape of a bird's but without feathers and its beak was compose of the same rotting flesh as the rest of its body. A scorpian like tail extended from the beasts hind quarters. Its eyes were segmented like a insects, yet had the gleam of intelignece.

Byakhee (very annoyed) : Master is not pleased, not pleased at all. We fail to see any work on your part to help us.

Volrath : Tell your master to be more patient, and not to get surly with me. I am helping him out of my own free will, but I don't have enough power yet to free him. If what I'm trying to do succeeds it bring me much closer though. I will need a few byakhees and the power to turn several redshirts into chosen of hastur.

Byakhee : Fine, but what exactly are you planning any way.

Volrath : Oh wouldn't you like to know, besides I think Sa'vor may be spying on this room.
LugWrench

04-04-06, 06:23 PM		5110. Lisa is not your own, personal Jesus.
5111. This means you, Michael.
5112. The captain, on the other hand....
5113. She isnt much on forgiving, either.
5114. She does hand out a lot of 'blessed beatings', though.
5115. Jaela is not, in any way, shape or form, the personal Jesus of anyone on this bucket.
5116. Yes, this means you.
5117. Until further notice, Norbaz' 12 alarm chili is food.
5118. It is not a weapon.
JakeQuistis

04-04-06, 06:35 PM		Due to the amount of chili Allen had eaten, he's now in the happy fluffy fields off somewhere in his mind.
"Yo dudes! Why can't we all just get along, and be happy? It's like.. Everyone wants to kill everyone else. Can't we just eat chili and be happy?" Allen says, his arm around a hallucination made half-real through his vampiric will.
"Yeah man.. I know what you're saying dude.." The hallucination says back to Allen.

Nella- A hallucination created by Allen, that looks remarkably like him. Due to the chili and Allen's own high charisma, reality was bent around him so that he now exists, although only people who are high, drunk, or have eaten chili lately can see or hear him.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-04-06, 09:40 PM		The rematch has just concluded, due to a shortage of Maanvaki Grog. The crowd begins to disperse as Terra gets up to leave.

Terra: Well, that was quite a disappointment. After all that, a draw.

Michael: How the hell did we run out?

Terra: It doesn't really matter right now. Just remember, until you beat me, our bargain holds...

Michael: (Whispering) To hell with that!

As Terra walks by, Michael stands up and tries to grab her butt. With unusual speed, she whips around, grabbing his wrist.

Terra: (menacingly) You are really going to regret that...

Michael: (sneering) Just try me.

Michael feels something heavy crawl onto his hand. Looking down, he sees a blackish-green creature, roughly two feet in length emerging from Terra's sleeve. Several tentacles protrude from its body, and its mouth is filled with razor sharp teeth. It hisses at him and digs its claws into his hand.

Terra: :devil: Consider this a warning...

Michael: What the cra-

The creature strikes with lightning speed, running up his arm and attacking his face.

Michael: BLOODY HELL!!!!!!

Michael falls on his back, flailing wildly.

Michael: Augh! Get it off me!

Several of the crew turn at the noise, surveying the strange scene before them.

Mickey: Oh, man, I’ve definitely had too much. Does anyone else see that weird thing?

Michael: Oh, gods, make it stop!

Jarlot: Don’t worry, I see it too.

Michael: It hurts, it hurts!

Doog: Dude, that just ain’t right.

Michael: Gah! Not there!

Kithle: Is that what I think it is?

Michael: Why aren’t you helping me!

Sa'vor: So that’s what I’ve been sensing…

Michael: Ow! You people suck, you know that?!

Volrath: (to the creature) So, Not-Walter, you finally decided to come out.

And yet another crew member...

“Not-Walter” - Half-Farspawn Broodling Kython

Terra calls Not-Walter off and he scampers up her robe, perching himself on her shoulders. Mickey hands Michael a Cure Moderate Schnapps.

Jarlot: You know this thing? (Volrath nods his head, grinning)

Sa’vor: The only place you could have gotten him with any hope of survival would be Xor’iat.

Terra: Indeed. During one of our previous journeys, Volrath wanted to take the scenic route on our way home.

All: Through Xor’iat?!!!

Terra: Yeah. Not-Walter landed on deck and seemed to take a liking to me, so I kept him as my animal companion. (Terra strokes Not-Walter on the chin, and he clicks happily) I have to admit, Xor’iat’s not as bad as it’s cracked up to be.

Ketler: Are you kidding me?! That plane is madness incarnate!

Terra: (shrugs) Eh, I kind ‘a liked it.

Jarlot: That…explains so much about you two.
Crystalforged

04-04-06, 11:07 PM		Terra and Volrath are walking down a hall when Kanatash floats out of a nearby wall.

Volrath: Greetings uncle Kanatash.

Kanatash: Greeting's Volrath, I see Not-Walter has decieded to come out finally. (tickling the creature's chin) It's nice to see you again.

Terra: So are you just saying hello or is there something more to this visit.

Kanatash: Yes, why don't I get to the black, bloodsoaked heart of the matter. Now normally I have no problems with your experiment's Terra, your really a woman after my own heart, but I do have a problem with your mass dispensing of halucinagins.

Terra: Why? It causes mass chaos and madness, your favorites.

Kanatash: Yeah, but it's also turning everyone into god **** ****ing hippies! I mean have you seen Allen lately? He used to be serious and malevolent! Now he talks about peace and happyness! I mean :coolcthul was bad enough and then John came along...

Terra: Ok, I get the idea. How about this, I'll lay off the halucinagins for a while and focus more on narcotics and opiats for a while. In return I want a little help from you on the matter of Lisa.

Kanatash: You know even without you laying off the halucinagins I think I would help just for the pleasure of watching the chaos sure to spring from "that" sort of fiasco. Deal.

Terra: Pleasure doing business with you. :evillaugh
Kaizer_Ryu

04-04-06, 11:52 PM		Terra sits on deck relaxing as Not-Walter curls up in her lap. Lisa cautiously approaches.

Lisa: Um...Terra?

Terra: What's up?

Lisa: That creature, 'Not-Walter' was it? What exactly is it?

Terra: Can't you tell?

Lisa: I know what it's supposed to be, but something doesn't fit. Things like that are supposed to be evil, but he doesn't react to a detect evil spell.

Terra: So you noticed, huh? He's an abberation among abberations. His body is that of an evil creature, but the soul is something else.

Lisa: You mean that's not his original form?

Terra: Pretty much.

Terra turns away and speaks to what seems to be empty space.

Terra: Slip, you and Sa'vor might be interested in this too.

The two of them fade into sight nearby.

Sa'vor: (to Terra) Damn you, woman.

Slip: I told you she'd notice!

Terra: :D As I was saying. Kanatash has already figured this out, but Not-Walter is the reason you can't read my mind. He's also the reason I can tell when you're nearby.

Sa'vor: That creature is a Psion? How is that possible?

Terra: Weren't you listening? His body is that of an abberation, but it is not his true form.

Lisa: So what is he, really?

Terra: I dare not speak of it here. I've probably said too much already.

Lisa looks at the three of them, noting the serious look on thier faces. She considers asking more, but decides it's better to wait.

Lisa: (sigh) Very well. You can tell me later.

Lisa walks off, and Sa'vor looks back at Terra.

Sa'vor: You know?

Terra: Of the spy? Yes. I don't know who it is yet, but I can tell. Not-Walter is quite sensitive to the presence on extraplanar beings, but the fact that there are at least half a dozen on board makes tracking difficult.

Sa'vor: We do tend to leave little in our wake, so I can understand. If you find out, inform me immediately. The less the Quori know, the better.

Terra: Indeed.
rampant

04-05-06, 01:39 AM		Satnak - I found your spy, caught him trying to steal samples of the weapons grade chili. *UBERZORCHx6*

Sa'vor - why do you keep zorching it?

Satnak - What part of stealing chili do you not understand?
urial angel of death

04-05-06, 07:11 AM		Pholly walks by Volrath's room

Pholly hear voice in his head from Volrath's room- Please help me!
Pholly (as he cautiously enters Volrath's room)- Who are you and what do you need.
Voice-I'm the brain of a goblin commander that Volrath defeated. He keeps me alive in this jar to serve as a dream catcher. I experience all of his nightmares, things that frighten him! Please kill me and end my torment.
Pholly look around the room and easily spots a brain floating in a jar full of green goo.
Pholly- I don't know, Volrath seems to want you here, and he's a scaryguy. Also how do I know your not some demon bent on taking over the world.
brain- Pleas just help me! Even if I were demon, which I'm not, would I really deserve this.
Pholly- I guess not. Fine.
Pholly raises a hammer about them brain.
Meanwhile Volrath sneaks up behind Pholly, with an evil smile on his face.
Volrath (whispers in Pholly's ear)- What do you think you're doing?
Pholly's screams echo thru the ship.
gweision

04-05-06, 09:30 AM		514- it is NOT the end of the world as we know it, and you do NOT feel fine

515- THIS IS NOT THE HMS PINAFORE
gweision

04-05-06, 09:33 AM		516 you cannot fly in Sharn
517 nor can you use a smole ladder to climb through sharn
518 you are NOT Long John Silver, even if you have a pet lobster and one leg
519 the first mate is not to be referred to as Mr. Arrow
520 iam not Captain Smallet
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-05-06, 03:25 PM		( Somehow it just seemed too easy, somthing definitly wasnt right. Far too easy. the Qouri where far more subtle and knew of the crews power. they wouldnt go near the chilli either. hell, Sa'vor wouldnt touch that stuff anymore. Satnaks madness grew with each fight with an extraplanar entity. along with her power. soon she'd be fit for nothing more than dumb muscle. so much evil potential wasted)

( Sa'vor and Kithle stand opposite each other within a shield created by Kantash, around them was a dark chamber of epic propotions. on some stands nearby watched Erk, Slip, Terra, Kantash 2, Naz'roth, the old dwarven lady, Allen( Now fully out of his psyko delik dreams) and some of the more promising red-shirts ( those smart enough to plot and scheme or ally themselves with the more powerful crew members for protection). Sa'vor smiled darkly as he flexed his fingers arcane energy crackled between his fingers. Kithle moved first; forming a defensive sheild. Sa'vor struck out with an eldritch blast followed by black fire spell. Kithle relfected the following onslaught of arcane energy before replying with his own mix of sonic and fire spells, Sa'vor dodged and weaved between them with unholy grace only sustaining minor damage. KIthle struck with another wave this time inflicting heavyier damage. Sa'vor responded by wielding the dark magics of his divine schooling. Kithle's shield shuddered and died. Sa'vor struck with savage intensity and the weakned kithle but to no avail. both where equally matched and none could win with the magical arts. Kithle raised a hand and a crimson mind blade appeared in it, he span it with evident skill. Sa'vor did the same but instead two black kama like blades appeared in his hands. so black they seemed to sucked at reality. warping and twisting it to their own devices. Kithle attacked first with suprsing grace and strenght, forcing Sa'vor into the defensive, Sa'vor smiled and unleashed a black burst of light knocking Kithle away. Sa'vors attack was one of speedy attacks and parries moving like a acrobat he dodged any attacks that would have killed him. Kithle saw his chance when Sa'vor let his magical defenses fall to sustane his melee attack. Kithle summoned the last of his energy into a blast and hurled it at Sa'vor. Sa'vor reacted too slowly and was knocked sprawled on the floor. Kithle walked to the prone figure and offered a hand to help Sa'vor up. the practise fight was over.)

( Sa'vor smiled and bowed)
Sa'vor: I should of seen it coming

Kithle: You did well, i saw your defences where almost raised again,

Sa'vor: next time i'll reneber not to lower them

Kithle: Renember, next time it could be in a real fight. and you'll be no use to the upcoming empire dead.

( Sa'vor took his seat amungst the stands, so did Kantash. Kithle walked up to a raised Dias and adressed them in a booming voice)
Kithle: Brothers in arms, Bretheren, I have gatherd you from the corners of this ship for a purpose. all of you have heard of the new empire that shall be formed, and all of you have talents and a disire for power. Erk, you have the great skill of navigation and your brute strenght. Slip; you are the only one capable of steering this ship with any skill and your stealth skills are quite useful,Terra, your skills at breeding and creating plants are quite extradinary and your contacts everywhere on eberron and even in kyber so im told are of much use. Kantash 1 and 2, you two are skilled in the arts of the mind and information Gathering. Allen; you are the most capable artificer aboard this ship, Sa'vor; you are an anomali and a great troop leader....

Slip: excuse me but what about the old dwarven lady?

( Everyone stares at the old lady; whom is currently asleep)
Erk: (in gaint; which many can now understand) I thinks she wandered in by accident

Kithle: thats okay she wont renember anything anyway and she makes good cookies. anyway. I have gathered you all here for a reason, so that we may combine our powers to futher the empires chances of being formed. together we shall forge the world anew with the cunning and intelligence we hold. within this pocket dimesion that makes our headquaters we create weapons and troops for the war that will inevitably come. this impenitrable fortress will be our meeting place at this time once a month, though outside it we must make it seem like everything is normal. ( Kithle steps down from the stands and Sa'vor takes his place).

Sa'vor: since we have gathered the best plotters amungst us we shouldnt have any threats but i warn that a moments lax in our vigilence and our empire will crumble before it rises and we will fall.
urial angel of death

04-05-06, 04:39 PM		Volrath is still in his room.

He begins a summoning ritual again but this time inside of the husk of infinate worlds. Inside a hellfire wyrm appears.

Hellfire Wyrm : Why do you summon me?
Volrath : I need more allies and you are the only fiend who's true name I still know. They are preforming the prophecy out of order and I can't diswade them.
Hellfire Wyrm : I will serve you, but mark my words, soon I will rend you head and foot for this. The fiends are not to be trifled with.
Volrath : That's okay Shniv'flin for you will not be a fiend much longer.
Hellfire Wyrm : You wouldn't dare!
Volrath : Oh but I would!

As he says this Volrath push several cysts on the husk and screams of anguish erupt from it.

In kelter's lab Kelter is hammering a nail into a new golem arm.
Volrath sneaks up behind Kelter.
Volrath : BOO!
Kelter jumps and then turns around still shaking alittle bit.
Kelter : Yes?
Volrath : I wanted to help you in your goal to kidnap Jaela.
Kelter (cautiously) : Why would you want to do that/
Volrath : Well partially to get revenge on Thrane for what they did to my family, but mostly I need your artificing skill to help my army. As an insentive the crew members I will be fighting claimed that Allen was a better artificer than you.
Kelter : Those bastards! Alright I'll help.

Volrath returns to his lab, and approaches a vault lined with adamantite.
Volrath : Well, that went better than expected.
Looks thru a little peep hole in the vault. From it come slobbering sounds and roars.
Volrath : Be patient Pholly you be able to fead when the time comes.
gweision

04-05-06, 05:27 PM		514- we do NOT reed to take the left turn at albaquerquie
Endless_Helix

04-05-06, 06:04 PM		Devon : Damn, Silence has got some wierd books. I mean, Volrath, Kithle, Kanatash, and Terra have wierder ones, but these look like I can actually read them. Hmmm... this one's in old Riedran. I know that one because my ex-girlfriend has a degree in... aah, who am I kidding?

He picks up the book.

Devon : Hmmm... This looks ******* complicated. Oh, cool! There's a set of instructions over in the margins in common! Hmmm... alright, so it's just a symbol in a five by five area.

Five minutes later...

Devon : AMON, VOID BEFORE THE ALTAR! I HAVE MADE YOUR SEAL AND NOW I CALL TO THEE! I hope I get laid because of this...

A fire starts in the center of the sigil, revealing a massive shadow burning in horrid flames. Demoniac horns curl past it's brows, crowning a face past mentioning. It's eye's burn with a hellish intensity, defying reality to try and stop it, yet cowardly comsic laws stand by while this unmentionable abomination stares down at poor, poor Devon.

Devon : don't hurt me...

Amon: HAhaHAHAHAHA! You amuse me little worm... I think we can make a deal...

----

Terra : Hey Sa'vor, grab Satnak, your codpiece, Slip, Kithle, Kanatash, Ajihazi, and as many sacrificial redshirts as possible, we got a thirteen alarm nightmare in Silence's room!

Silence : Whoa, now, what's in my room?

Terra : Some sort of extraplanar being that's giving Not-Walter a massive headache.

Silence : Look, this happens pretty regularly in my room, but usually only when I'm in it.

Terra : Uh, okay, but this is a little worse than usual...

----

About half of the crew is now crowded outside Silence's room, including all the important ones... when a large gust of smoke blows out of the quickly opened door.

Silence : If anyone read my diary, OMG I will sacrifice them to Tenebrous.

Sa'vor : Get a life.

Silence : Had one, then I sold it.

Sa'vor : This 'cause of your binding abilities or something?

Silence : No. I'm an economics major.

*Devon walks out in the cloud, coughing*

*As the cload disapates, it becomes clear that Devon isn't quite what he used to be... For one thing his eyes are glowing red, and he's grown ram's horns above his eyes."

Devon : Hello, everybody! Good to see you, I think you'll look lovely roasting over a slow fire on a spit. Especially the fat captain...
Kaizer_Ryu

04-05-06, 06:14 PM		In Kithle's room, shortly after the meeting...

Kithle: Have you gone mad, woman?! What do you hope to accomplish with this foolishness?

Terra: Oh, believe me, I'm closer to sane than most of the crew. If all goes as planned, a thorn in our side will be removed and the next phase of my goal will be set in motion.

Kithle: Your goal?

Terra: Remember, I'm aiding you, I'm not working for you. But don't worry, my goal helps lead to your's.

Kithle: And if it doesn't work out, what will happen?

Terra: Oh, I don't plan to lose, but if it doesn't work...let's just say that by the time I reveal anything too big, it will be far too late. The consequences of losing I can deal with, the ones of not trying at all I cannot.

Kithle: ...very well.

Later that day, Terra approaches Michael on deck.

Terra: This whole feud between us has gone on long enough. Three draws due to suppy shortages have accomplished nothing.

Michael: And you think we can just make up? Not likely.

Terra: No, no. I'm just suggesting a change of competition.

Michael: I'm listening...

Terra: A duel. You and me. No cheating, no help from anyone else, before or during.

Micheal: (holding back laughter) You're joking!

Terra: I'm quite serious. I'll even agree not to use Not-Walter against you.

Michael: Did you hit your head or something? Look at me! You can't beat me in melee combat!

Terra: Then this should be no problem for you. Are you in or out?

Michael: Fine, I'm in. When and where? I'd rather not get keelhauled, or worse, put at Volrath's mercy for fighting on deck.

Terra: (smirks knowingly) Tomorrow at dawn on the plains below us.

Michael: All right. Who makes sure neither of us cheat and determines the winner?

Terra: How about Ketler? He doesn't really have too much against either of us.

Michael: Agreed. Until then...

Michael walks off, laughing to himself.

Terra: Idiot. :devil:

OOC: Endless Helix posted while I was typing. Oh well.

BIC: Terra: Well, crap. Looks like we'll have to postpone our duel.

Michael: No :censored: !
JakeQuistis

04-05-06, 07:59 PM		"Muahahaha!" Allen laughs evilly, from deep within the Forgotten Freedom, in his lab.
He was hard at work on something... Using his trusty homunculus to get some of the rarer ingredients he couldn't make or didn't have.
rampant

04-05-06, 10:39 PM		Chalky - Ok I have been waiting so long for Devon to loose it. ALL YOUR KNEECAPS ARE BELONG TO US.

Devon? - ARRRRRRGHHHHH MY ARM!! Give that back you son of a wolf and a doppleganger.

Chalky - (mouth full of ripped arm) 'ake me *yoink*

Devon - Come back here. *pursuit*

Satnak - This aughta be funny, chalky knows this ship better then most anyone else, he has practice dodging through the tight spaces from chasing Squishy, and he has that whole shapeshifting mastery thing to boot. Norbaz get me some chili the show is starting.

Dooj - Remind me not get chalky ******.

Micheal - Yeah he ripped out the whole shoulder joint.

CRASH BANG SPLASH

Jarlot - Who authorized the Soveriegn paint landmines, in pastel purple no less. More importantly where are the rest

Crashbangsplash

... of them (jarlot is now sporting a nice robin's egg blue)
Hurry up and help me before the paint dries.
Phantomcrossing

04-06-06, 01:59 AM		Norbaz: Here you go Satnak, this is a new blend, I made it up to fourteen alarm successfully without making it a weapons grade dish...Oh, Captain, a question.

Jarlot: Shoot.

Norbaz: When was the last time we committed an act of Piracy? Its been a while, nothing but everyone plotting behind each others back and dark gods or demons being summoned. Also, Pholly hasn't shown up for KP duty in a week.
Charles Phipps

04-06-06, 06:30 AM		Norbaz: Here you go Satnak, this is a new blend, I made it up to fourteen alarm successfully without making it a weapons grade dish...Oh, Captain, a question.

Jarlot: Shoot.

Norbaz: When was the last time we committed an act of Piracy? Its been a while, nothing but everyone plotting behind each others back and dark gods or demons being summoned. Also, Pholly hasn't shown up for KP duty in a week.

Jarlot: Point. Time to sack something simple.....like Zilargo.
Crystalforged

04-06-06, 09:36 AM		Norbaz: Here you go Satnak, this is a new blend, I made it up to fourteen alarm successfully without making it a weapons grade dish...Oh, Captain, a question.

Jarlot: Shoot.

Norbaz: When was the last time we committed an act of Piracy? Its been a while, nothing but everyone plotting behind each others back and dark gods or demons being summoned. Also, Pholly hasn't shown up for KP duty in a week.
About this time Kanatash floats into the room.

Kanatash: Oh, about Pholly, I'll be bringing him back tomorrow.

Norbaz: What, why do you have pholly?

Kanatash: Well, somebody decieded to douse me with a batch of ghost touch alchemist fire. At the time I was rather ****** so I went for the most obvious suspect.

Norbaz: Um, I'm not sure I want to know, but what did you do with him.

Kanatash: I did sent him on a trip to Xoriat...

Norbaz: Thats all? It seems rather unsinspired for you.

Kanatash: Let me finish. I sent him to Xoriat to spend a week with the Micheal Jackson Dealkyr. You ever notice how Gnomes resemble, say, ten year old boys?

Norbaz :eek: Wow, that is evil.

Kanatash: I know. However I fear I was a little rash in my judgement, Pholly doesn't have the motive or stones to attack me. (glances towards the door) I do have some alternate suspects however. (calling out) Doog, Micheal, come out from behind the door. I know you're there and I know what you did Micheal.

Doog: (from behind the door) Run dude! For the love of Jeala run!(rapidly retreating footsteps sound in the distance)

Kanatash: If you'll excuse me now, I have some business to attend to.

Norbaz: (shivering) Uh, just remind me never to **** you off, OK?

Kanatash simply smiles and floats out of the room. The air is soon filled with malevolent laughter which is followed shortly by Micheal's screams.
Phantomcrossing

04-06-06, 01:06 PM		As Micheal's screams permeate the room.

Norbaz: That reminds me, I need to speak with Michael and Dooj before the day is out. Hope they're still in mostly one piece...now then, what to do about Devon. No one throws a roast on this ship without my consent, standing rule or not. (Hefts Goliath Hammer) Time to join in on the Tenderizing, I'm sure Chalky won't mind the help, make the meat taste sweeter after all.
urial angel of death

04-06-06, 01:10 PM		Volrath : Kanatash I have Pholly, or what was once him, you must have someone else. Who I wonder.
Albert

04-06-06, 01:10 PM		Shortly thereafter, Michael is recuperating in his room. There is, unfortunately, a shortage of cure liquors, and it'll be a day or so before the remaining wounds heal. This gives him time to think.

"Urgh. Daven's not gonna take more than a day or so. Satnak'll solve it. Gotta figure out how to deal with Terra.

"I'm stronger than her. If it's a just a plain fight, I'll win. Obviously.

"She has to know that. So how is she going to cheat? Did she suborn Ketler or something? I could go grab Jaela, trade her to Ketler to even things out.

"But is it Ketler? Or does she have something planned that he won't be able to tell?

"Damn but I hate plotting.

"I need a good killin' to clear my head. Been way too long since we pillaged anywhere. Soon as I'm out of bed I'm goin' to grab Dooj and slaughter a town or something."
Phantomcrossing

04-06-06, 03:29 PM		Norbaz: Ah, Michael, you're awake. I was wondering if you and Dooj would like to assist me in a side project when the ship comes to port tonight.

Michael: And what would that be.

Norbaz: Assisting in a commission I'm taking, I am an assassin by secondary trade to being a cook.
Endless_Helix

04-06-06, 04:48 PM		*feels reality shredding*

Silence : Oh no, it's....

Entire Crew : A CONTINUITY ERROR! WHAT SHALL WE DO?

Sa'vor : We make up a character, duh...

Michael : So, now there's two Phollies?

Sa'vor : Weeeellll... Pretty much, yeah.

Phollie (Gnome Redshirt 5)

Phollie, the twin brother of Pholly, was born under auspicious circumstances. This twin was supposed to have some sort of skill at alchemy, but like Pholly, turned out not to have a speck of that talent. Now Phollie's been living on the forgotten freedom for as long as Pholly, but due to his complete mimicry of Pholly, Phollie was always mistaken for Pholly. The fact that his name sounds exactly the same as Pholly's doesn't help. The fact that even he was unaware of his existence until Kanatash had to kidnap Pholly to give him to Michael Jackson Daelkyr, played a defining role in his life.

5124: Pholly and Phollie are now two seperate entities.
5125: It is imaterial that we made up Phollie.
5126: Phollie is not made of straw.
5127: No, he does not need to see the wizard for a brain.
5128: Ketler, get to work on making Phollie a body before reality collapses and we all die.
5129: Ketler, read rule 5126, AGAIN!
urial angel of death

04-06-06, 05:57 PM		A village in Thrane is gathering for evening prayer.

Magical portals begin opening all around the church, which is about a large as the rest of the village put together. From these portals emerge all sorts of aberrations. Among them are grells in great suits of armor that cover all of their body, except for their tentacles in inter-locking azure plates. Their tentacles are covered in a metal mesh and weild lightning lances. Umberhulks appear that have strange metal devices on their antenea, and blades attached to their claws. From other portals come beholders, whose eye stalks that have lengthened to become long musclular tentacles. Last of the regular troops are humanoids covered in chitinous plates, wielding swords that appear to be made of nothing but a sticky ribbon, but the creatures they ride or more hideous by far. They appear to have once been scorpions, but have changed to have three gaping maws, each dripping with acidic saliva. Their tales end in great clubs, covered in cruel spikes.

From the largest portal come Volrath, Kelter, the creature that was once Pholly, and an immense creature resembling a dragon. Pholly's torso has detached from his legs by a whole foot, but kept attached by a spine, that is much longer than it should be. His rib cage has opened into a gaping maws, that nashes its teath together hungerily. His hands have a glowing eye in each palm, and his fingernails elongated into monsterous claws. Below the knee cap on each of his legs tentacles sprout forth, slime covered and desolving anything they touch. His eyes have grown feral, below them his mouth has giant mandibles coming out the sides, and is continually frothing. The dragon has a tentacle where each eye should be, and two more coming off each shoulder. Gaping wounds and sores cover the abomination's entire body. Bulberous sacs have grown along the dragon's back, and contiually coat it with with a green slime, that they spew forth.

Volrath steps forward and shouts in a loud voice toward the church that his aberration surround
Volrath : Come forth, overly confident worshippers of an uncaring entity.
A shouts of protest come from the church, as its occupant stream out. However when they see the force awaiting them they shreak with terror and attempt to scatter. Then the abominations surrounding them close in, and the massacre begins. The chitinous humaniods cut people in half with their ribbon like blades. Beams erupt from the grells' lightning lances and electrocute the humans. Beholder disintegrate or strangle any person they come across. Waves of psionic energy form from the umberhulks' antenea and bombard the Thranes' mind, as the umberhulks' claws rend their bodies. The scorpion like creatures clubs their victims and blast cones of sonic energy. Pholly picks up and young woman. The instant he touches her she goes limp, and Pholly stuffs her into his open rib cage. The dragon vomits forth a huge gout of acid, desolving a throng of fleeing commoners. Kelter has a look of horror and disgust. In a few seconds everything is still. All of the Tranish have been killed and their bodies either consumed or carried off.

Just as suddenly as they appeared all of the aberrations disappear thru magic portals, that form and disappear after the aberration go thru.
Rei32491

04-06-06, 06:07 PM		Muradin is walking down a hallway on the FF, not remembering how he got there. Soon he comes to a metal wall, he does not know what it is and their for runs at it with his hammer.

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH!!!

The wall goes down and Muradin finds that the room behind it is filled with booze.

Muradin: :lightbulb :dancin:

He walks in just as Doog, Michael, and some of the other crew members hear the crash of the door.

Michael and Doog: THE BOOZE VALUT!!!!!

They get to the booze vault a minute later and see Muradin drinking it very fast (he already drank half of the bottles).

Michael: GET HIM!!!!!!!!!

Five minutes later...

Present Crew: It hurts, it hurrrrts. :weep:

Muradin: (just finishing the booze) :tongue: You guys fun :D , bye bye.

He walks off, but no one sees that some vials are glinting on his belt...

Volrath and Ketler have just returned.

Ketler: Was that really necessary?!?!?

Volrath: Yes, yes it was.

Muradin sees Volrath and walks up to him.

Muradin: Hey buddy, I just got the last of the blood you asked for, even Lisa's.

He gives Volrath the vials.

Ketler: (shrugs) See ya.

Walks back to his Lab.

Volrath: See ya Ketler, good work Muradin. Your reward.

Tosses Muradin a bottle.

Muradin: What this.

Volrath whispers in Muradin's ear.

Muradin :twitch: :w00t: A decanter of endless Ale!!!!!!!!!

Muradin walks away drinking from it.

Muradin :cloud9:

Volrath: (holding up the vials) :schemes: :evillaugh
Charles Phipps

04-06-06, 07:03 PM		The People of Para-Elemental Plane of Ale.

Booze Elemental: NOOOOO! WE'RE BEING DRUNK DRYYYYYYY!
Phantomcrossing

04-06-06, 09:26 PM		Norbaz, Michael, and Dooj walk through the Thranish Countryside in cloaks.

Michael: So what are we doing.

Norbaz: Killing a local cleric of the Silver Flame, an old enemy of his paid top dollar for his death.

Dooj: You're splitting the take with us right?

Norbaz: Yeah, and you guys can keep his gear and stuff.

Michael: Sounds good. Hey, is that the town?

Norbaz: Yeah, that's i- oh sweet khyber!

The three find the town destroyed and blood everywhere. They enter the town and look around finding no one. After a while they regather in the town square.

Michael: Something fun happened here.

Dooj: No pieces of no one, just spatter and fluid.

Norbaz: Clerics not here either, something's happened.

Soon, silver lanterns shine in the distance, marching into town an army of Paladins, Warriors, Clerics, and Templars of the silver flame advance upon the trio.

SF Leader: In the name of the Silver Flame, villains prepare to face justice for the horrors you have committed!

Dooj, Michael, & Norbaz: Oh ****!
Kaizer_Ryu

04-06-06, 11:06 PM		Kanatash I floats in on Terra meditating in her room.

Kanatash: So I hear you challenged Michael.

Terra: Yeah.

Kanatash: He left with Dooj and Norbaz a little while ago. Apparently some kind of assasination attempt.

Terra: Is that so? I hope he doesn't chicken out.

Kanatash: He won't. (pauses) By the way, why are you doing this?

Terra: Kithle asked me to get him out of plotting. It just messes with the finer details of those of us qualified to do so. Plus, I have my own score to settle with him.

Kanatash: He's just an annoyance. Why go to all this trouble?

Terra: He's like a little kid who want's to sit at the table with the grownups. I'm just showing him what it means to play with the big boys...

Kanatash: And beating him in a duel will accomplish this?

Terra: I don't intend to beat him. (her expression grows dark) I intend to break him. :evillaugh
rampant

04-07-06, 01:50 AM		Kithle - Meeting time, get your arses in here.

Sa'vor - What now?

Satnak - I'm on lunch break.

Kantash - You just ate whatever was infesting devon, in addition to a gallon of 14 alarm chili.

Phollie - why am i here?

Kithle - your brother is busy so i need to test this on you go forth newspaper of death.

Death paper - schnik shcnik

Phollie - ahhhhhhhhh paper cuts of dooooooom (runs)

Sa'vor - What in creation is that thing?

Kithle - Its an awakened paper golem frenzied berzerker enchanted with enhanced keen ghost touch blades of wounding speed, and when unfolded is always the current Korranburg chronicle, rolled up it does subdual damage and can be used as a club or sword, plus it makes a cool hat. Unfortunatly the awakening was a little hinky, it thinks its an attack squirrel.

Kantash - Ok so nothing really unusual then.

Satnak - not for this ship

Sa'vor - No offense ment to the deicide with the Uberarm, but your not a plotter.

satnak - According to the stupid helmet I'm an alternate of Kantash.

Kithle - Plus it means we get the first chance to hide behind her when something nasty shows up, like those darkness creeps. Anyway I just wanted inform you that it might be a good plan to pull your minions in the storage ares out a bit. I have inserted the 3 into volrath's army there will be explosions.

Kantash - Ok you are officially a bastard of the first degree no one desrves that without warning.

Kithle - 1) its a crewmember on this ship willingly anyone here by choice probably deserves it present company not excluded. 2) its those 3, 3) It'll be fun.

Sa'vor - well then lets pull our minions back then i got a couple extradimen spaces that we can use.

Kithle - by now this aereodynamic asylum is one giant extradimen space.

Chalky runs by still with devons arm.

Chalky - I know its great.

Devon - give it back i'm not possesed anymore and the paint's hardening.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-07-06, 02:07 AM		5130: V, just because Terra commands hordes of animals and is apparently freaked out by very little, it does not mean you can refer to her as "fearless leader"

5131: Nor does she employ this "Moose and Squirrel" you keep talking about

5132: Well, ok, she probably does employ at least some members of those species, but that's beside the point
Albert

04-07-06, 06:40 AM		Dooj: "Ohs**tohs**tohs**t . . . "

Norbaz: "Okay, the detect evil spells are going to go against us, but if we . . ."

Michael: *squints, then grins evilly* "Four words, you two: Don't. Kill. The. Cuties."

He charges the army.

Dooj: "He's crazy."

Norbaz: "An honorable end to avoid getting owned by Terra? That doesn't - "

Michael reaches the front of the army, and lops off three heads in as many seconds.

Dooj: "Woah."

Norbaz: "By all the gods! Of course!" He sets off running towards the melee. "Come on you nitwit! Most of that army is low level! We can take 'em!" To himself: "But how did that brute figure that out?"


*********

3 hours pass

*********


The three are stripping the dead of valuables. Michael pulls a helmet off one - glossy black hair cascades down delicate eyelashes and scultured cheeks.

Michael: "Dammit, Norbaz, I thought I said to keep the hot ones alive."

Norbaz: "First, she was in a helmet. Second, at this rate it'll be another 3 days before you finish up your share of the women. Do you really think there'll be time for that?"

Michael: "We could take them back to the ship."

Norbaz: "H**l no. Lisa."

Michael: "Oh, right."

Dooj: "Hey, Michael, are we gonna be here overnight? I think I'm gonna need to borrow some of your b***hes."

Michael: "Yeah, just don't take any of the ones I haven't gotten to."

Dooj: "What?! That's not fair. The Trouser Titan wants unspoiled meat. Stop holding back!"

Michael: "Do you want me to tell that little freak where the Trouser Titan hides?"

Dooj: *gulp* "Oh, fine!"

Norbaz: *raises eyebrow* "You've been getting a bit tricky in the last week or so."

Michael: "Been trying to. But Dooj doesn't count, he's even worse at plotting than I am. It's a waste of time, though."

Norbaz: "Because Terra's smarter and sneakier than you'll ever be?"

Michael: "NO! Well, yes. But that's not the reason! I've wasted h**l-only-knows how much time trying to set up a night of f*****g with Terra. And for what?"

Norbaz: "A night where you get to act out every depraved fantasy you've ever had. You no longer want that?"

Michael: "Course I do. But that's not the point. Take a look around. All this took about an afternoon to do. And my share is 31 b***hes, and a couple are just as hot as Terra and Lisa. Half a day's work for 31 chicks, or a month's work for maybe one, who'll promptly turn around and try to kill me the next morning."

Norbaz: *horrified* "You've been frustrated beyond belief in the last week, haven't you?"

Michael: "Yep. A good fight and a buncha f**ks was just what I needed. Gotta admit, I didn't think it'd be this good when we set out."

Norbaz: "Succulent Drow blood, I thought you'd figured something out when you charged them! Not that you were so p**sed you didn't care if you lived!"

Michael: "What are you talking about? I hit 'em with Detect Good. Going by the auras, there were maybe ten who were above 4th level. Maybe more, maybe less. Couldn't tell about the warriors, of course, but hardly any of the divine-types were far along in the service of the Silver Flame."

Norbaz: "Huh. Too bad that trick's worthless on the ship."

Michael: "Tell me about it."

Norbaz: "So. Now what?"

Michael: " . . . I dunno. I have to beat Terra, or surrender to her which is not going to happen. If I beat her once, then the status quo is back, and all I have to do is say 'H**l no, you cheat' if she wants a tiebreaker."

Norbaz: "That's not going to stop her, you know."

Michael: "Meh, the captain frowns on open warfare. If she comes up with something too clever, I'll just drink away the memory. Besides, why would I be on the ship that often anyway?"

Norbaz: "Um . . . it's where you live? Planning on changing that?"

Michael: "No. But the ship is where the plotting happens, and out here is where the brutal slaughtering of hapless villages happens. Guess which one I'm going to focus on?"

Norbaz: "Point. So, ah, how do you plan to beat her? We're out of booze right now, remember?"

Michael: "Yeah, and with Pholly and Phollie out we're not going to get the good stuff any time - wait." *unpleasant smile* "I don't need the good stuff. I need the bad stuff!"

Norbaz: "What?"

Michael: "Don't worry about it. Lessee, I'll need 8, 9, 10, 15. S**t. Hey, Norbaz, can I have some of your women? If I need 'em, I mean?"

Norbaz: "You'll owe me a favor."

Michael: "Fine, fine, lemmee see if I need any first." *goes over and examines all of his share of the women that he hasn't raped yet* "Yep. Gonna need 3 more virgins."

Norbaz: "Virgins, huh? This should be interesting to watch."


*********

Midnight

*********

Michael, in recently polished armor smeared with bloody occult symbols: " . . . By the blood of these virgins, pure and innocent, I call thee, Hellspawn. Appear before me, I command it!"

In the center of a pentagon/star formed by the bound virgins, there is a puff of smoke, a flash of hellfire, and a minor lord of hell appears.

Hellspawn: "Holy warriors. Not bad. I thought you were kidding about the 'pure and innocent' part."

Michael: "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

Hellspawn: "Suuuuuure. So, what can the forces of evil do for you, unholy champion?"

Michael: "Okay, here's what I need . . . "


*********

Upon returning to the Forgotton Freedom

*********

Terra: *evil smile* "Ah, Mikey, ready for our duel?"

Michael: "Naw, drinking contest first."

Terra: "We're still out of booze, moron."

Michael: "Doesn't matter. I found some in a village. Enough to make me pass out more than twice over. No draw this time."

Terra: *shrugging* "Whatever. Let's get this over with."

*********

About 30 minutes later.

*********

Michael gazes down at the unconcious Terra and smirks.

Michael: "Lightweight."

He then rounds up a crew of redshirts and they roll the rest of the barrels to Norbaz's kitchen.

Michael: "Okay, Norbaz, here's the rest of the Hellbrew. Remember, I get dibbs on a cask if we get another succubus on board."

Norbaz: "That didn't take you long."

Michael: *fills up mug from open keg* "To all boozes wholly unnatural and otherworldly, may they trip up arrogant druid b***hes now and forever."

Norbaz: "You still owe me a favor. Speaking of b***hes . . ."

Terra: "HELLBREW?!"

Michael: "How'd you get up so fast?"

Terra: "Volrath gave me the antidote. Alright, we're 1 for 1. Duel time."

Michael: "Yep. So, we go find a fair and impartial judge?"

Terra: "Right. Ketler's in his lab, I think."

Michael: "Not Ketler."

Terra: "We agreed on Ketler."

Michael: "I just changed the agreement to 'fair and impartial judge', and you agreed."

Terra: "Arhg. I hate hangovers. Fine. But Ketler's still impartial."

Michael: "No he's not."

Terra: "How - what do you mean?"

Michael: "You're about the sneakiest person on board."

Terra: "Sweet talk will get you nowhere."

Michael: "If you suggest Ketler, that means you've suborned him. Or something even more clever."

Terra: "Okay, how about-"

Michael: "No, for the same reason."

Terra: *clenched teeth* "I didn't name anyone yet."

Michael: "How does that invalidate my statement?"

Terra: "You think you're clever, don't you?"

Michael: "Nope. If I were clever, we'd have gotten around to our night of sweet, sweet torment by now. Which I'll miss. But hey, I've gotten off 50 times in the last 3 days, spread out over a dozen women. We'll have the duel when I'm so hungry for it that I lose all sense."

Terra: "You know what? F**k you."

Michael: "Not for a while, hot stuff. And, hey, I've got oogling rights again! Speaking of which, how's the seduction of Lisa going?"

Terra: "And f**k the rules! Not-Walter, sic 'em."


The next few minutes involve much swearing and wrestling by Michael and Not-Walter.


Jarlot: "Pretty sure there's a rule about this. Liquid Keelhauling for both of you."

Terra: *chugs bottle* "Whatever. It's not like this could be . . . IIIIAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!"

Michael: *snickering* "That's her first time for an LK, isn't it?"

Jarlot: "Michaaaaael?"

Michael: *grimaces* "Oh, right." *drinks* *his screams join her a moment later*



Kanatash, observing, thinks to himself: Well, that was amusing. Time to turn off that implanted cleverness, I don't think he'll even notice it's gone.
urial angel of death

04-07-06, 06:46 AM		Explosions rock the ship, however do to it's enchantments put in to reduce Pholly cost, the ship itself is not damage.
A shreak of joy emrupt from where the explosion were.
Volrath : That's what it needed, heat!!! Thank you Kithle.
Kithle : Oh great what have I done now

A few moments later Volrath emerges from the lowwer decks scorched but aparently unhurt. He gathers up Terra's uncontious form. Takes her to her room puts her inside, and is careful not to touch anything inside. Finally closes the door from the outside and uses a schema of arcane lock on the door.
Volrath : Sorry Terra, but I don't want to to get hurt in the upcoming battle, and I really want to chatch them without fore warning.
Phantomcrossing

04-07-06, 09:35 AM		That night, back in the village after the slaughter of the army of the Silver Flame, in an abandoned house.

Norbaz: Okay, that's 1000 gp each to say I raped you.

Paladin Girl 1: I still don't get it?

Paladin Girl 2: Nor do I, villain.

Norbaz: Hey, I didn't slaughter this town, i set out here to kill one guy, but someone got him and the whole town before I got here. I'm a professional, and I need to keep up appearances with my coworkers, and the country at large. Choose to believe me, choose the think me a liar. I don't care. You're getting off light compared those the others claimed.

Paladin Girl 3: Scoundrel, never will we submit to your base vile plo - *SAP!*

The third paladin girl falls unconscious as norbaz hefts his sap.

Norbaz: Damnit, I gotta figure out what happened here.

---------------------------------------------------------

Present Day...

Norbaz: Ketler, Open up!

Ketler: um...what, who is it.

Norbaz: Its Norbaz, I need some equipment, do you have any scrolls of Augry or and divination spells in stock.

Opening the door, Ketler eyes the half giant suscpiciously.

Ketler: Yeah...sure.

-----------------

That night, Norbaz, activating the scroll through means of use magic device, inquirese what happened in that isolated village that killed everyone. He is greated to a replay of his, Michael's, and Dooj's fight against the army.

Norbaz: No no no, before that.

He is greated with the truth and witnesses the abberant horror show. So enthralled and shocked that he fails to notice the creeping shadow behind him.
Charles Phipps

04-07-06, 12:19 PM		What Captain Jarlot does when he's not pillaging....

*sitting on the couch in the Ship's Counsellor's chambers*

Kanatash: How long have you had these destructive tendencies anyway?

Jarlot: To be honest, I used to be a hero.

Kanatash: Oh REALLLYYYYY?

Jarlot: Yes. I wanted to save the world as well as pillage and destroy like any normal adventurer.

Kanatash: This may explain your phobia of outerdimensional evils.

Jarlot: It's a simple morality! I see different, I kill it! It's the definition of Chaotic Good!

Kanatash: Well if you worship the Silver Flame yes, but tell me how you were traumatized from your adventuring past....

***

*A Spiky Haired Younger Jarlot holds an enormous sword*

Jarlot: But...but...I want to go fight Chaos too!

Fighter: Sorry, but there's only room for four in the party Jarlot.

Red Mage: We know you'll understand someday.

Black Mage: Think of this not as a rejection.....but as saying we don't want you.

Thief: Also, give us all your money.

***

Kanatash: And this lead to your problems?

Jarlot: Well I wasn't to be deterred by THAT alone...

*his eyes glazed over*

Jarlot: I had OTHER rejections before it was done...

***

*A slightly older Jarlot chases after a party that he's struggling to keep up with*

Jarlot: But...but...I know who the Ultimate Evil is! It's been guiding our technology for years! We've got to find the Chrono Trigger.

Chrono: I'm sorry Jarlot but you're just not high enough level for our group.

Magus: BEGONE WITH YOU FOOL!


***

Kanatash: I see.

Jarlot: To be honest, women were involved too. I'd just gotten my first job on an airship when some bombs were dropped by my last serious girlfriend.

***

*First mate Jarlot stares at a red haired girl in a pink dress holding flowers*

Jarlot: But you said you loved me!

Aeris: I know that we were sorta serious Jarlot....but this Clouds guys really cute. He also wants to go and fight evil. He's even in SOLDIER while you're just a minor scion of House Lyrander.

Jarlot: I can change! Honest!

Aeris: To be perfectly honest, I was only dating you because your spikey hair reminded me of my old boyfriend Zack.

Jarlot: I HOPE YOU DIE IN A CUT SCENE!

***

Jarlot: Little did I know those would be my last words to her...

Kanatash: Interessstinggggg *telekinetically moves pencil on his notepad*

Jarlot: So tell me Doc, what's wrong with me?

Kanatash: You're a homicidal lunatic with delusions of grandeur and megalomania brought on by countless nervosas that most teenagers get over but you prefer to violently act out.

Jarlot: Oh thank Dol Dorn. Nothing serious then.

Kanatash: Next week we'll discuss your fear of magical riding ostriches....

Jarlot: Err...can we not discuss that. I'll uhh...have to deal with the recreation I set up for my pirates below.

Kanatash: The ones involving the polymorphed Drow women that enjoy carnage and murderous roleplaying?

Jarlot: uhhh...sure. *wonders what the hell he's talking about*

Kanatash: *picks up notebook* Now I have every key possible to his mind...
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-07-06, 12:28 PM		( Sa'vor was scrying on Norbaz, and saw what he saw, he smiled. Volrath should have taken him out long before then. he was getting sloppy, Aberrations where all good and fine as soldiers; but they needed to sleep. Posion and pestilence still affected them. Kale looked back at his newset creations; these lithe half-dragons possesed all the abilities of a great wyrm of thier kind. only condensed into a smaller form, the perfect troops, immune to paralisis, fear, famin, disease and only required two hours sleep a day.
Shame he only had twenty of them, In his dimesional fortress Sa'vors hordes of undead, Minators, standard half dragons and Constructs preped for the battle. His battle plans where laid out, but they wouldnt be required. Sa'vor raised a hand, a crackeling shimmering Vortex formed before him. he stepped through appearing on the forgotten freedoms deck)

( Slip appeared next to him)
Slip: what is to be done?

Sa'vor: we wait, that is all we can do. this is Kithles fight, but i swear by my Ancestory and the dragon blood that flows through my veins that if kithle is defeated i shall swollow Volraths soul.
Charles Phipps

04-07-06, 12:30 PM		A bit of fun....

Aerith Belldandy Gainsborough
9th Level Half-Elf (Aerenal) Cleric of Arawai, Neutral Good

Jarlot's ex-girlfriend. At least according to him.

Aerith is a strange girl in the fact that she's utterly clueless seeming about the vile and villainy being conducted by the crew. It's quite possible that the initial carnage has driven her insane like it did other crew members who aren't paladins onboard the ship (you can visit Bruce and Jacob in their straight jacket writhing madness in the hold). However, unlike them, she maintains a reasonable functionality.

There's a slight problem though. Aerith is sweet. Not just kind and compassionate but the insufferably suggery light and purity type of good that unicorns are utterly creeped out by her purity. She seems to have a cosmic protection from bad things happening to her an almost Disneyesque theme plays wherever she goes. Her utter inability to comprehend induendo has also been something of a problem on the ship. Not to mention she seems to be able to Charm Monster every chance she gets. Apparently mind control (administered with a chaste kiss) falls perfectly under her moral structure and part of her good use.

Andrea and Terra as the crew's resident females of evil have both vowed privately to murder her in horrible ways but have found their efforts blocked by divine protection. Lisa SHOULD love the girl but finds herself horribly creeped out by the Stepford Cleric. Marish however loves the ear scratching she gets. Jarlot on the other hand is insanely jealous and has privately employed V to try and murder anyone who seems to get close to her. He seems utterly irrational on this point (moreso than most)

Since she's arrived, morale amongst Redshirts has raised from the Infinite Layers of Xoriat to Shelvaresh level thanks to her Band-aids of Healing, Snapple Potions of Healing, and Cosmic Moon Wand of Revive (spoken while doing a spinning piroquette).

Kanatash privately suspects she's not human at all but a Solar Deva sent to keep watch on them.
Kinger

04-07-06, 01:04 PM		Jarlot: I HOPE YOU DIE IN A CUT SCENE!

That's cold.

"Y'know, Cloud, a single Phoenix Down would clear this right up..."
"Are you crazy? I'm not made of Phoenix Downs!"

She was better off with Jarlot.
JakeQuistis

04-07-06, 01:08 PM		The creeping shadow behind Norbaz creeps up onto him some more, before covering him entirely. Screams of pain and terror come from within, and then the darkness coalesces into a humanoid form, that of Allen. The fallen body of Norbaz lies at his feet, drained of enough blood to knock him out for a while.
"That will teach you to go messing where you don't belong, chef. You just cook food and kill people, not investigate in things over your head." Allen says to the unconcious assassin chief.
Allen then disapears back into the shadows, going back to his hidden lab.
urial angel of death

04-07-06, 05:01 PM		Volrath : Kelter have you finished.
Kelter appears to be sealing up some incisions on the aberrations, that fill the galley.
Kelter : Yeah, I've never tried something this complex, but those books you gave me really helped on my methods of item creation.
Volrath : Yes the Mi-go certainly are an inventative bunch. This was one of their greatest acheivements, the immunity chip. It controls all body funtions thus preventing poison and decease from being harmful, renders all but the strongest electricty harmless, because it no longer disrupts body funtions, they are all in a hivemind together, and best of all it completely removes the need for sleep, and greatly reduces the amount of food needed.

Volrath moves along and eyes a row of humans that have been completely stripped of flesh and are beginning to bloat.
Volrath : A yes our good friends from thrane, Kelter you have put their skins to good use correct
Kelter (shudders) : Yes, but I don't think my lab will ever be free of the smell.
Volrath : How much more of the Mi-go technology have you been able to replicate?
Kelter : Well the electricity guns, but not many of our troops can use those besides be and the new additions. (nods toward his own lab) I was also able to replicate the image projector it won't be able to confuse the ubers, but will be able to scatter what redshirts are let, and some crew members with low intelignce and will save, so Dooj, Micheal, and well... um no one else.
Volrath : The only problem is that we are out numbered only having three crew members on our side. We need to recruit atleast one more. Norbaz possibly just to get revenge on Allen.
Kelter : What did Allen do to him and how would you know about it. It's not like you talk to many people on this ship to hear the gossip?
Volrath : Oh Norbaz was scrying on the slaughter we commanded. I sensed this and counter scried. While doing that I saw Allen attack him, and chide him about getting into things he didn't belong in.
Kelter : Yeah that would really get Norbaz ******, but I'm still not sure he would throw his lot in with you.
Volrath : We'll see.
Kelter : Something that's been bugging me are you ever going to let Terra out of her room.
Volrath : Oh she'll find her own way out. I just hop that it's after the battle is over. You might want to leave now see if Norbaz will join us. Besides I have to summon the last of the Mythos creatures. I don't think you want to see that.
Ketler (shudders again) : Yeah, won't make that mistake again.
Volrath : Be off then, and remember Sa'vor is not to be touched. He is still vital to the prophecy. While the others would be useful, they are not absolutely necisary.

Kelter leaves the room, as Volrath begins chanting.
Charles Phipps

04-07-06, 05:15 PM		Aerith: Ohhhhh blissful and glorious day! The sweet air, the sunshine, and the joy fill my heart with a gentle mirth.

Dooj: Mmmm, now there's a wench I can get behind...hehehehe.

Aerith: Why hello friend Traveller. I hope you can assist me in my arrival? Is this the Good Ship Forgotten Freedom? I am applying for the position of ship's chaplain since I understand the previous one sadly met an untimely end.

Dooj: Hmmm....what? I was staring at your canetelopes.

Aerith: Why thank you. I pride myself on my wonderful produce. I'm surprised you can see it in my bags.

John: Maam, I welcome you to the good ship....RUN AWAY! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! DANGER! DANGER! STAY FAR AWAY IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!

Dooj: *walks over and whaps it* YOU SHUT YOUR GORRAM MOUTH HERE KEEL OR I'LL WAVE A TORCH ON YOU AGAIN! Don't scare away any more employees! We need more redshirts.

Aerith: OOOO! A TALKING KEEL! HOW UTTERLY ADORABLE! I just want to hug you!

*puts some tennis balls on the ends of his spikes*

Dooj: Lady, what are you doing?

Aerith: Oh, I'm childproofing the keel.

Dooj: We don't got no gorram kids around here!

John: I feel...affection for the first time....Oh THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Aerith: Oh joy! I'm glad I could brighten a fellow sapient's day.

Dooj: A sapi...sap.....a damn talking chair is what you brightened! I blew up the talking commode for obvious reasons.

Aerith: So what do you do on this ship then?

Dooj: Murder, torture, piracy.....smuggling.....prostitution, terrorism, uhhh....*scratches his head* Hey, John what's the crime where you pliss off a ruler?

John: High Treason.

Dooj: Yeah, we got lots of that.

Aerith: Well NO WONDER! The grafittee, garbage, unholy pentagrams....this my friends is not an environment safe for honest traders like yourself.

Dooj: Say what?

Aerith: *wraps hankerchief around her head and conjures a magical broom of cleaning* I'm so glad you volunteered to help.

Dooj: I aint touching no soap!

Aerith: *her eyes suddenly become doeish and anime like as stars sprinkle around them*

Dooj: Must....obey.....mistress.

*goes to work cleaning*

Aerith: In the meantime I'll go into the ship's library and see if I can replace all the pornography and Books of Vile Darkness with Winnie the Pooh...
Quoriil

04-07-06, 05:50 PM		Dooj=Jayne? I wonder how this version of Jaynestown would go...
Charles Phipps

04-07-06, 06:15 PM		Dooj=Jayne? I wonder how this version of Jaynestown would go...

Dooj has always been Jayne (check out his bio). This is just one of the few attempts to write him as such.

;-)

Like I said, we really need a wikicity for this whole thing.

Jarlot: Remember, we're just going to try and find out where Michael buried the treasure....

Michael: I was REALLY...REALLY...drunk....

Dooj: But you outdrunk that der Druidess! Hur hur!

Jarlot: Pirates don't REALLY bury treasure! Why did you have to choose such a crappy town anyway?

Lisa: This used to be Sharn....before the Great Earthquake destroyed it.

Jarlot: Yeah....Earthquake...right.

Aerith: Yes! If we do not recover this stolen property then how ever will we give it to widows and orphans!

*everyone pauses and looks at her oddly*

Dooj: Listen, just keep your voice down gods damnedit, I'm trying to keep a low profile.

*Dooj then pauses as he sees a marble statue in the middle of the place of him*

Dooj: Oh hell.

Lisa: So this is what going mad must feel like.

***

Dooj. The man they call Dooj...

He robbed from the rich
and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the man
and gave him what for.
Our love for him now
ain't hard to explain.
The hero of Breland
the man they call Dooj.

Jarlot: Ummm...Dooj, care to shed a little light on this development?

Dooj; No Jarlot.

Lisa: No I'm wrong, this is what going mad must feel like.

Our Dooj saw the mudders' backs breakin'.
He saw the mudders'lament.
And he saw the Monarch takin'
every gold and leavin' five cops.
So he said "You can't do that to my people."
He said "You can't crush them under your heel."
So Dooj strapped on his hat
and in 5 seconds flat
stole everythin' King Boranal had to steal.

He robbed from the rich
and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the man
and gave him what for.
Our love for him now
ain't hard to explain.
The hero of Breland
the man they call Dooj.

Now here is what separates true heroes
from common folk like you and I.
The man they call Dooj
he turned 'round his plane
and let that money hit sky.

He dropped it onto our houses
he dropped it into our yards.
The man they called Dooj
he stole away our pain
and headed out for the stars!

Here we go!

He robbed from the rich
and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the man
and gave him what for.
Our love for him now
ain't hard to explain.
The hero of Breland
the man they call Dooj.

Dooj: Ah hell! That's what happened to all that cash!

Jarlot: .....care to explain?

Dooj: Well I'd signed up for a piracy mission with Michael on this stupid Captain's airship that had more money than sense. Me and Michael were going to steal the guy blind then run off with all the treasure when the Captain started making this bizarre list of rules that made moving around hard. So we got him really drunk but got drunk ourselves and tossed over the money and said that gremlins must have stolen it...

Michael: Oh hell....

Jarlot: Wow, sounds like a real moron you pulled that one over.

Dooj Uhh...yeah.

Jarlot: ......I'm going to have to take a while to figure out how to pay you back for that.

Aerith: I'm sorry did you guys say something? I heard piracy and then turned my head.

Lisa: They're BANDITS Aerith.

Aerith: Like a band?

Dooj: In any case...100,000 gold...untraceable....all over the Cogs!

Aerith: You're a True Hero Dooj! HEY EVERYONE! YOUR NOBLE AND GLORIOUS HERO DOOJ IS HERE!

Jarlot: Awww....hell.

***

Dooj: *sniffle* I was almost a real hero back there.

Jarlot: we ended up stealing the money BACK Dooj.

Dooj: Yeah but...I felt bad about it!

Jarlot: Yeah, you do that Dooj.
urial angel of death

04-07-06, 06:39 PM		Volrath is frantically running through the library picking up mythos tomes and books in dark speech.
Volrath (talking to books) : It's okay litttle babies. I'll get you away from that scary lady and her (shudders) holy fire. Good thing all of Kelter's Jaela mags and Kelter himself slowed her enough for me to save you.
Charles Phipps

04-07-06, 06:46 PM		Jarlot: Andrea, I think you're overestimating the determental effect Aerith is having on the crew...

Andrea AM I?

Jarlot: Yes.

Andrea: Need I remind you what happened to George?

Jarlot: Who?

Andrea: He was the ship's wizard.

Jarlot: We had a ship's wizard?

Andrea: Yes, I recruited him. Michael gave him a knife in the eye so he could go up a level. We ended up stuffing him and he became a lich.

Jarlot: Ahhhh yeahhhhh. Now I recall him. What happened to him?

Andrea: Well....he sort of exploded.

Jarlot: Exploded?

Andrea: I've never seen such a nasty turn effect. All the ship's undead are feeling it.

Jarlot: We have undead?

Andrea: A quarter of the crew. You ordered it. Eat less and if prepared Egyptian style, smell nice.

Jarlot: True, rotting flesh rarely matches Dooj's BO.

***

Elsewhere

Lestat: Oh woe. WOE! Woe to my bitter darkness! Why am I so lonely...I mean aside from killing all my lovers....

Aerith: HI! I think you look you need a hug Mr. Vampire sir!

*snuggle*

Lestat: AH! A FEMALE!

*bursts into flame and turns to ashes*

Aerith: How very strange.

John: That happened to me a lot...except with a lot more gore.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-07-06, 07:43 PM		Terra awakens in her room, completely ****** off.

Terra: Oh, it is SO on. Not-Walter, I think it's time.

Not-Walter scurries over to the door, unbinding the arcane lock. Terra bursts into Kithle's room.

Terra: Kithle, we have a major problem. Get everyone together NOW!!

Kithle: What's this all of a sudden? What about the duel?

Terra: I want to make sure we survive long enough to beat his *** into the ground...
Kaizer_Ryu

04-07-06, 08:52 PM		OOC: I didn't have time in the last post, so here's the rest of it.

BIC:
(after describing the situation in the meeting room)

Kithle: And you waited until now to tell us this WHY?!

Terra: I only have pieces of the puzzle. I was hoping to find out more, but time is of the essence. I still don't know precisely what he's up to, but I can tell you it's going to be huge. He locked me in my room to keep me from getting hurt.

Kithle: And....?

Terra: Have you EVER seen him show compassion for anyone? This is VOLRATH were talking about! What he's planning has the potential to kill us all. He's so sure of it that he tried to keep me out of it.

Kithle: This is worse than even I had imagined. We begin preparations immediately!
Charles Phipps

04-07-06, 09:05 PM		Aerith: Oh my, he sounds like all he needs is LOVE!
Crystalforged

04-07-06, 10:44 PM		514- it is NOT the end of the world as we know it, and you do NOT feel fine
Hm, I was just thinking and that probably would be Kanatash's theme song. I can see it now...



Kanatash: (humming as he crushs the mind of a redshirt) It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine...
Rei32491

04-08-06, 12:34 AM		Muradin's Earth Elemental is talking to the ships Fire Elemental Earl.

Earl: So what's your name?

Earth Elemental: ... Steve.

Earl: Ooook, so why do you stay with Muradin?

Steve: He summoned me, therefore I am bound to him.

Earl: Man, that sucks.

Steve: Yeah, mainly because he keeps thinking that I'm a monster and tries to kill me.

Earl: Bummer.

They continue talking for a few minutes, then Muradin walks through the door.

Muradin: Hey Steve, where are (sees Steve) ... MONSTER!!! MURADIN SMASH!!!!

Steve: S***...not again.
rampant

04-08-06, 12:43 AM		Kithle - Death paper, Satnak plan gamma-5, Chalky round up your strike teams tell them to focus on scouts and injured, Sa'vor Andrea assemble your shock troops, Kanatash your sabotuers had better be finished, I hope the 3 managed to do enough damage, Terra How long has it been since volrath's troops have eaten or slept?

Terra - almost a week my rats have been keeping them up, even with the mods they should be weakened.

Kanatash - Your traps are set.

Kithle - good, ok kantash take some of andrea's wraiths and capture ketler, muradin, and pholly, drain their life force but try not to kill them. Lisa get the crew ready for battle, Find Norbaz and Allen, the Vampire overstepped his bounds messing with the Half-giant Satnak has been cranky and that makes her dangerous. The undead owes norbaz a full apology. Slip You and terra Help set the field, terra I need you to take care of communications between non-telepathic units, Keep an eye on Lisa's Squad they tend to get into trouble. When Norbaz is back up tell him to unleash his chili, use Allen for a tageting shot if necessarry. Scholar your the official stupid wrangler again, keep an on the 3 and try to position stupid near them. O everyone remember watch out for the traps. Volrath may havee monstrous Ubberation troops, but I know this ship, I know this crew, and I know War, Volrath your a decent schemer, but you are no general.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-08-06, 01:14 AM		As everyone carries out their tasks, Terra grabs Michael's arm.

Terra: You had better not die out there...

Michael: I don't intend to. Why? You gonna miss me?

Terra: No. After this, I'm taking you down. I won't let anything get in the way of that.

Michael: Ooooooo, I'm sooooo scared.

Terra: Mock all you like, little man...

Lisa: MICHAEL! GET OVER HERE NOW!

Michael: (smirks at Terra, then runs over to Lisa) Yeah, sweet cheeks?

Lisa: Just for that, I'm putting you on point, smart guy.

Michael: WHAT?!!! :eek:

Ajihazi: (nelson style) HA-ha!

Lisa: You're up there with him...

Ajihazi: :weep:
Crystalforged

04-08-06, 01:14 AM		In the words of the almighty lords of Python, "And now for something completely different..."



The Dreaming Dark spy has finally revealed himself and is standing on the deck surrounded by the majority of the crew.

DD Spy: Fools, You cannot stop the Dreaming Dark. Kill me a thousand times and I will return again to slay you all.

Doog: (gripping his chain of command) Well, in the meantime we'll enjoy making those thousand deaths as painful as possible.

Suddenly Kanatash floats up from below deck. However he looks a little... different. He is wearing a black suit and dark sunglasses.

Kanatash: That will not be neccessary.

DD Spy: Well if it isn't one of you half-breed bastards. I think you will be the first to die.

The DD Spy launches volley of crystals at Kanatash but he starts moving in bullettime and dodges all of them.

DD Spy: (sputtering) Thats impossible!

Kanatash: Not imposible. Inevitable. (launches into a display of martial arts that pummels the DD Spy even though he is incorperal)

DD Spy: (bleeding on the deck) No, it doesn't end here!

Kanatash: Goodby, Mr. Anderson.

DD Spy: Stop calling me that! It's not my name!

Kanatash dives into the DD Spy's body and he starts to twitch uncontrolably as small objects begin to move under his skin untile he finally explodes in a burst of light leaving Kanatash where he was standing. The rest of the crew disperses with worried looks in Kanatash's direction.

---

Later belowdecks, Savor and Kithle enter Kelter's lab. Kelter is messing with a ring of metal about a foot in diameter with a weblike pattern inside of it. Occasional flashes of strange scenes can be glimpsed from the corner of your eye in this ring.

Kelter: (not looking up from the ring) What do you need?

Savor: Well, we've noticed that Kanatash has been acting a little odd lately...

Kelter: (glancing up momentarily) Rather than make some cliched remark I'm going to assume you mean more than usual.

Kithle: Yeah... We've checked with Volrath, Terra, and anyone else we could think of who might try to mess with Kanatash's mind and none of them owned up to it so we thought we should check if it might have anything to do with one of your inventions. What are you working on there anyways?

Kelter: This? Well I decieded to create small portal to that other world you guys all said was just in my head.

Savor: You mean the one responsible for your madness and all those refernces you make to thins like "D&D" or "Monty Python?"

Kelter: The same. I told you it was real.

Kithle: Could this thing be affecting Kanatash?

Kelter: Maybe. It does tend to give off some risidual energy which can cause side effects.

Kithle: Such as?

Kelter: Well it's responsible for all those comments crew members make that make absolutely no sense in context. For example when we were captured by mercs and Doog kept insulting Ajazi by calling him stuff like an "English Kin-igets."

Savor: Could this thing do more than that? I mean Kanatash was pulling some really strange stunts.

Kelter: It should be nothing, unless...

Kelter suddenly looks worried and dashes from the room. He stops in front of the redshirt quarters with Savor and Kithle hot on his heals. Kelter tosses open the room to reveal a horrible sight. Several dozen Kanatashs float in the room and they are chasing the last few remaining redshirts. As they watch one of the Kanatash's catches a redshirt and plunges his hand into the redshirt's chest. Silvery liquid slowly spreads from the wound until the redshirt is completely covered and the liquid falls away to reveal a new Kanatash.

Kelter: Oh ****.

Kanatashes: (echoing as they speak in unison) Hello, Mr. Anderson.

Kelter: (slowly closing the door and turning to face Savor and Kithle) We're all going to die.

The three of them break into a run just as the army of Kanatash's burst from the room.

---

Still later in a small, dark extradimensional space the entire remaining crew gathers around a table.

Jarlot: As some of you know already the reason you have called here is that Kanatash has gone on a rampage.

Crew: AGAIN!

Savor: This has happened before?

Andrea: Oh yeah. Most notably when he drove the captain insane and tried to take over the ship.

Jarlot: Anyways we need to plan what to do now.

Savor: Well individually I could probably defeat him but...

At this moment Kanatash floats up through the table.

Crew: Oh ****!

Kanatash: Yes Savor you could probably defeat me in an up front battle but I'm not stupid enough to face you without a ace up my sleave.

Micheal: Um, why are you not proceeding with the destruction of our minds?

Kanatash: Because I'm not the one who was corrupted by that little device of Kelter's. That was my duplicate, I've been away visiting my various cults for the last week.

Kithle: What do you mean by "corrupted" exactly?

Kanatash: Well that explanation requires a little explanation into the physics of my being. The truth is after my little trip to Xoriat I never really left.

Savor: :uh-huh: Care to explain that.

Kanatash: The Deranged Lords literaly bound my mind to a smallish region of the plane of madness. (tapping his skull) This is essentially empty except for the occasional passing abberation and small portal directly to Xoriat.

Micheal: So what happens if the portal is closed?

Kanatash: Well the portal would go nova in a massive and anything lucky or unlucky enough to survive would be drawn into Xoriat. My body here would be destroyed although the essence of my mind in Xoriat would be unharmed however it could take weeks, months, or even years for me to establish a new body on this plane.

Kithle: So what happened to your Duplicate.

Kanatash: Well that "darling" little portal Kelter created connects to a place that should not exist. The residual energy from that was transmitted to my mind and it caused something akin to a tumor. My mind sheared of the infection before it could spread but it took control of one of my bodies with it. Now that he is cut off from the majority of extraplanar power source I enjoy he is significantly weakened and those copies created are nowhere near full strenght. However he has linked the minds of those copies to his own and the more he creates, the more powerful he becomes. Plus if he is not stopped soon the corruption of that which should not exist will increase until existance comes to an end.

Jarlot: Should not exist? Thats a funny thing for a child of Xoriat to say. Why should you care anyways? You want to destroy reality too.

Kanatash: This is different. However I think my nephew Volrath can explain it better.

Volrath: Thank you Uncle. The thing to remember is that Xoriat is not so much that which should not exist as the primal force of unreality. It is the ying to realities yang. The truth of the destructing of your reality by the lords of Xoriat is that it is part of a great cycle. When your reality is destroyed it will be absorbed into Xoriat and a new reality will be born. Then the deranged lords will give this new reality a few million years to come into its own before invading to destroy it anew. This cycle has gone on for an infinit strech of time. In the case of this reality you happened to stop the deragned lords temporarily, a first I can assure you, so the lords decied to give you a little more time to "mature."

Kanatash: What different is if this influence from the place Kelter has contacted is allowed to spread it will be the ultimate end of the universe. No rebirth, no remains, nothing but an eternal void. The end of you and everything you have ever loved or cared about. The destruction of both reality and unreality, sanity and insanity. There will never again exist booze, drugs, booty, treasure, or anything else you value. It will be the ultimate, the omega, and the alpha end to the world as you know it and as you have never imagined it. All because Kelter made that stupid little ring.

Kelter: Um, oops?
Charles Phipps

04-08-06, 02:41 AM		Lisa: Well we've got to try and stop it I suppose...

Michael: Why us?

Lisa: *Long boring sermon starts to ensue...*

Aerith: Hmmmmm....I know! Let's tap the Lifestream and destroy the evil forces in a cosmic display of love and ecologically sound joy!

Lisa: Wrong setting....

Aerith: Why? We have Siberys and Eberron after all....

*Everyone looks at her oddly*
Phantomcrossing

04-08-06, 09:37 AM		Norbaz: Okay, I know this will detract from my involvement with whoever's plans I've been roped into, but I think we all agree this has to be done. Terra, I would like to speak with you in regards to that later.

(walks below deck, returns with a chalk board, eraser, and chalk)

Norbaz: Okay flower girl, please watch closely.

Aerith: Alright, oh I must say I think something was odd about last night's meal. The food was trying to play with me, it was quite adorable.

Norbaz: ...just pay attention. This is our ship. This is a first level paladin. This is a first level paladin detecting evil within 60 feet of our ship and most of it's crew. (Draws paladin exploding). This guy (draws Michael) is an anti-paladin. He smites good. She (draws Andrea) is a necromancer, she likes artfully making the dead walk again. These guys (draws abberation circle of the crew) are committing unspeakable horrors I only found out about because in doing so they killed a person I had been, (draws himself) paid to kill, as an assassin for higher. WE AREN'T NICE PEOPLE! Here is our ship. Here is our flag (draws the forgotten freedom's pirate flag) and we attack other ships for their money. Is any of this getting through to you.
Rei32491

04-08-06, 11:40 AM		Muradin is chasing Steve down the hall.

Muradin: DIE MONSTER!!!!

Steve: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT, I'M NOT A MONSTER!!!!

Steve runs by Aerith who is walking down the hall. She sees Muradin runing at Steve with his hammer.

Aerith: (stops Muradin) Now Muradin, that hammer is not child-safe.

Muradin: :confused:

Aerith pulls out a fluffly covering and puts it over the hammer.

Aerith: There, much better. :)

Muradin looks at the hammer then hits the wall with it, it bounces back not making a scrach, only sees a :D with Have a nice day written under it.

Muradin:... :weep: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Muradin runs off to his room.

Aerith: It makes me feel so good to help people :D .
Albert

04-08-06, 11:56 AM		Y'know, I'm not saying Aerith is a Solar Deva, like Kanatash suspects, but if she is, how about she was sent at Jaela's request to provide an example of how Lisa can fulfill that geas she's under?

-Albert

PS. Of course, if Dol Dorn really did appear to Jarlot the time Lisa went Blackguard, then her presence on the FF is necessary, and she'll be sent back as soon as she returns home to Thrane, should she manage the ordeal (which is not, of course, a sure thing).
Albert

04-08-06, 12:08 PM		Norbaz: Okay, I know this will detract from my involvement with whoever's plans I've been roped into, but I think we all agree this has to be done. Terra, I would like to speak with you in regards to that later.

(walks below deck, returns with a chalk board, eraser, and chalk)

Norbaz: Okay flower girl, please watch closely.

Aerith: Alright, oh I must say I think something was odd about last night's meal. The food was trying to play with me, it was quite adorable.

Norbaz: ...just pay attention. This is our ship. This is a first level paladin. This is a first level paladin detecting evil within 60 feet of our ship and most of it's crew. (Draws paladin exploding). This guy (draws Michael) is an anti-paladin. He smites good. She (draws Andrea) is a necromancer, she likes artfully making the dead walk again. These guys (draws abberation circle of the crew) are committing unspeakable horrors I only found out about because in doing so they killed a person I had been, (draws himself) paid to kill, as an assassin for higher. WE AREN'T NICE PEOPLE! Here is our ship. Here is our flag (draws the forgotten freedom's pirate flag) and we attack other ships for their money. Is any of this getting through to you.

Aerith sighs sweetly. "Oh, Norbaz, you big softy, I knew this wasn't the best neighborhood before I came onboard. Don't worry, we've got plenty of time to set everything right."

She leans over and lightly kisses him on the cheek, then whispers, "Thank you for not raping those poor girls. I think it's a good starting point. We can talk about it later."

The fact that a, oh, 5'2" girl can lean over and kiss a half-giant on the cheek goes unnoticed by most of the crew . . .
Kaizer_Ryu

04-08-06, 01:07 PM		Terra watches this disgusting display with no shortage of malice.

Terra: (softly, through clenched teeth) Must...not...kill.... Must...not...kill....

Aerith: Oh, come on, honey! Turn that frown upside down!

Terra: *snap* DIE B**CH!!!!

Terra tries to punch Aerith as she turns, but (apparently through some divine intervention) Aerith stumbles, causing Terra to hit the wall instead.

Terra: (holding her bruised knuckles) I HATE YOU!!!!

Aerith: Oh, don't be so mean to the wall!

Terra: GAHHHH!!!!!
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-08-06, 02:40 PM		A dragon lands on the deck of the FF. A hunched figure slips from its back.

Dragon: I wish you weren't going. *sniff* It won't be the same around the castle without you. You did such nice work with the cadaver golem, I swear those humans thought it was the real thing. You know, you could always hire yourself out to Snaxaulastxa, I'm sure she needs someone to help her revive the Mark of Death.
Figure: No, no. I'm thertain my palthe ith here.

The dragon cannot say anymore, too choked by words. Instead it takes off again, causing the flames on Earl's ring to flicker for a moment.
The hunched figure trodds its way toward the meeting room, stepping with one foot and dragging the other. Surprisingly for this gait, however, he moves quite fast. It arrives at the door, and raises a crooked arm to knock.

*Knock, knock.*

Jarlot: We're in the middle of a meeting of vital importance to sanity, so you'd better be the booze guy!

The figure thinks about this for a moment. Then it shuffles back along the corridor until it again finds the redshirt carrying a keg, its chest drenched in silver fluid. The figure picks up the keg and carries it back to the door of the meeting room. He then opens the door and walks around the table, unnoticed by any of the crew, who are having a planning session. The figure steps right up next to the captain and says in a pleasant sing-song:

Figure: Your booth ith here, Mathter!

Jarlot jumps half-way out of his seat, before realizing that it is only a hunchbacked man with one bad leg.

Jarlot: How in Khyber did you walk in here without anyone noticing?

Kithle tentatively raises a hand.

Kithle: Um, captian, I and many others noticed him, but…well…for some reason we just didn't consider him to be worth worrying about.

Jarlot looks the man over, paying particular attention to the hunched back.

Jarlot: Well don't just stand there, tap that keg…ah…let me guess…Eye-gor.

Igor: I'th pronounthed "Ee-gor", thir. That movie wath not QUITE tho accurate.

Jarlot: You sure?

Igor: All my previous mathters have called me Igor.

Rather than tax his brain, Jarlot decides to go ahead and get drunk so he can think with a clear head.

Jarlot: The quarters for the less-used crew is downstairs.

Igor: Yeth thir.

Jarlot: You can submit to Kantash for the brain scan as soon as we've cleared his duplicate up.

Kithle: What exactly are you here to do?

Igor: I therve the greatetht creator of madneth in Eberron. I am here to make thure he doth not thtray from hith path, and I am here to make thure hith work goeth more thmothly.

Both Kithle and Kantash hide their evil grins.

Igor: And you thhall not regret my thervith, Mathter Jarlot.

Igor shuffles from the room, oblivious to the startled looks of confusion, comprehension, and nods of obvious.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-08-06, 03:01 PM		Igor
True Neatral male of some kind Expert 5/Henchman ? (a real prestige class someone on the Wizards boards created!)

Igor is Igor. Servant to so many evil and deranged people that his resume looks like history's most wanted list. He's been to Dal Quor, Thelanis, Shavarath, etc. He particularly liked Xoriat, finding it a pleasant change of pace from having all the dust stay dust. He always seems to know who the greatest causer of mayhem is at any given moment, and always works toward employment by them. The Forgotten Freedom is a bit different from the lairs he usually cares for, but for someone who's had to do the laundry for aberrations, he'll adapt.

Igor has absolutely no fear. When you've been around fiends whose names can't be spoken in case they aren't dead yet, fear is something that gets in the way of work. His mind can be controlled, but that's like hitting a nail with a rock. Much easier to use the hammer of giving orders. Unlike so many others he's unimpressed by the current scheming of the crew, always referring back to some previous mathter "Who really knew how to cause chaos, especially by letting those anatomically incorrect girls walk around." No matter what is being done to him, he always has the mindset of a polite servant…meaning that if you **** him off you won't know it until he's opened the door for the angry mob.

Roosevelt
LE dedicated wight Expert (carpenter) 10

One day a nice artificer decided to create a helper for his little daughter to create those magic items she wanted so much. Since this was a little girl he was making it for, he formed the wight into the shape of a teddy bear.

Naturally the homonunculous had to take revenge on the whole family.

Jarlot employs the wight as a carpenter way back when because the ship can't always rely on finding a port in time to prevent already-paid redshirts from breaking through the decks. The wight works cheap since he doesn't drink (or eat) or sleep. His form is still that of a cuddly bear, though, so many a crewmember can't help themselves. But they soon learn the error of their ways when a certain floorboard in their room creaks or the latrine door gets stuck. If you thought Norbaz was subtle, get ready for Roosevelt.
urial angel of death

04-08-06, 03:16 PM		Volrath : Kelter stauy with me it's going to get dangerous.
Kelter : Most of the recent danger has come from you.
Volrath : That doesn't matter.

Volrath walks into redshirt quarters see Kanatash duplicate. It rushes at him. He pulls out a strange gun like device. The duplicate begins to try a go into bullet time again. A lightning bolt hits him squarely in the face. He them disapates

Volrath : Still ain't faster than light ay.

Volrath then proceeds to destroy the rest of the duplicates.

Volrath (to the rest of the crew) : Violence can't get rid of all the corruption, but I destroyed the most dangerous part. Satnak and Lisa will have their hands full dealing with exorcising it. Thius just keeps getting better and better for me. :devil:

The aberrations move out and the battle begins...
(decided to split it up into two posts, and yes it will finally be over.)
Charles Phipps

04-08-06, 06:10 PM		OOC: Interesting theory Albert and quite possibly accurate.

Aerith: La la la la la la....

*waters her garden on the deck*

V: *creeps up behind Aerith with knife drawn*

Aerith: I love rainbows and mittens on kittens.....

V: For the glory...of the prolitariat.....I....

Aerith: Oh Hi Mister V!

V: AH!

Aerith: I heard you had an accident so I thought I'd help by healing your gross bad nasty deformities...

*extends her hand and touches his mask*

V: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*runs away*

Aerith: What an odd reaction.

***

*an evil summoning circle left over by Kanatash's double finally brings forth results as the room most aligned with unholy forces is used to channel it, the bedroom of the most eldritch of crew*

:88E: HAHAHAHAHAHA! After ten thousand years I have at last gained the power to manifest in this celestial plane and shall bring about the end of all things!

:coolcthul: Oh hi Big brother.

:88E: Oh sweet Hastur what the Hell are you doing here!?

:coolcthul: Oh well, I sort of work here. I'm the guy that does our public relations.

:88E: You're a sanity blasting horror!

:coolcthul: Well that's no reason no to make a really good marketing campaign!

:88E: What the Hell would DAD say to you?

:coolcthul: Oh like he ever pays attention to us. He's always sleeping and waiting for the stars to be right.

:88E: You sir are a disgrae to Star Spawn everywhere!

:coolcthul: Now that's not very nice, can't I offer you some Tofu humans to eat? Vegetarianism is a wonderful alternative to eating humans.

*Aerith then walks in and steps in the circle of insanity*

Aerith: Do I smell Tofu? I...

:88E: Ah! The circle is corrupted. I....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

* :88E: is torn to pieces by the mixing of purity and nightmarish energie as his essence is scattered across ten thousand planes*

Aerith: Oh, did I interrupt something?

:coolcthul: Nah, in strange eons. Even death may die. Can I offer you some tofu?

***

Captain Jarlot: I am setting up this complaint box for any crew that have problems with Aerith.

*sighs as he picks up her autographed picture and begins kissing it*

Evil Gnome Bomber: It's about damn time! Lousy....*scribbles down his complaints* I say we toss her off the plank.

Captain Jarlot: Cloud could never appreciate you the way I could *mumbles something to his picture*

Evil Gnome Bomber: Yeah, whatever.

*The Gnome sticks his letter in the complaint box as his arm is bitten into as the Mimic then devours the Gnome*

Mimic: *BELCH*

Captain Jarlot: Now that's taken care of. Any further problems?
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-08-06, 08:19 PM		Roosevelt walks past the box as it eats the Evil Gnome Bomber. He sees Aerith make the turn down the corridor. With his cute bear body he knows that if she sees him he is in for a fate worse than death. Quicker than the eye he darts through a swinging panel that he set up so long ago. It leads to a semi-secret shaft that only the lesser-used crew bother with. He stands there for a moment, glad he doesn't breath, glad he has no heart to beat faster. Before Aerith he didn't know what fear was.

Roosevelt:No more hugs! [he thinks to himself.]

He leaps down the steep stairs, desparate to get away from the sweetness and light.

Meanwhile Igor checks on the Mimic to make sure it's been fed.

Igor:And how is little Mi-mi today? Enough unimportant people unhappy with Aerith? I don't think you'll go hungry.…
***
Down in the lesser-used quarters, Lucky d'Medani and a ninja Jaela are playing a game of strip poker with Klaz Dingbo and Vrin the wanabe pirate drow. It was Vrin's idea. Normally his luck would have been bad anyway, but Jaela is cheating, and Lucky is…well…she can see danger coming. The stakes are even worse, since if the men loose they immediately have to go stand outside Lisa's room.

Klaz: Aw, crippies! You're the worst judge of skill I've ever, Vrin.

Vrin:Shut up.

Klaz:And why are you still wearing your cutlasses? Why'd you have to go and take off your pants?

Igor:He'th a swathbuckler. It'th tradithionel.

Klaz jumps a foot into the air:

Klaz:Crikey! How do you do that?

Igor:It cometh with the job dethcripthion.

Vrin:What's the word use-side?

Igor:It theemth that Volrath hath dethtroyed all the extra Kantatheth and now ith going to attack with hith abberathion army.

Klaz:Well, we could go and make sure they don't need help.

Vrin:Go into enemy-infested territory…or potentially have Lisa pound on us.

Klaz:And then treat us to a lecture.

Vrin looks over his cards. He looks at the pile of his clothes. He looks at Klaz.

Vrin:A swashbuckler never runs from a good fight. But no one tell V I took my pants off in front of a Jaela.
rampant

04-08-06, 09:32 PM		The battle between kithle and volrath resumes. Volrath's ubberations pour out of their warrens to find pit traps, flying blades, ninja stars, soveriegn mines, and the dreaded 3. Johnny keeps playing with any mines the others manage to avoid and sets them off in odd directions, squinty keeps shooting his rays at his own squadrons, and Melvin just makes the others barf.

Any injured or solo Ubberations are eliminated by chalky and his ninja strike teams. Who retreat quickly to avoid retaliation.

Upon reaching the main passages they are met by a viscious maze spell, any who don't make it through quickly are hunted down by Erk.

Kantash and the wraith squadron manage to subdue Ketler and muradin, pholly is proving resistant. Fortunatly Kithle briber Roosevelt to make sure the little creep never sees battle. Splinters are evil when your hands melt the part above the skin and can't get to the half in your tentacle feet. Not to mention getting stuck in the floor boards.

Int the nooks and crannies of the ship Death paper and the rats nip and harry the over sized monstrosities with daring darts and when caught use rodent escape trick number 1. Or death paper just hacks a limb off the offending Ubberation.

Sa'vor and Andrea lay waste with a ddeadly barrage of eldritch might while their soldiers engage the uberations, this is where things get crazy. Most of the Undead and minions don't stand a chance against these creatures. Elite squadrons are dispersed in the main mix in order to keep the uberations guessing where the threats are.

Satnak stems the main tide herself smashing the most powerul beasts down with single blows from either hand. Against a particularly massive psuedo-natural chaos dragon she unbinds one of her Arms blades to reveal her first cyrstal edge "the Burn" each slice of this weapon inflicts the pain of smearing 14 alarm de'Norbaz upon the victim's wound along with the disintigration common in such instances.

Kantash and the wraiths return to battle with squishy atop his umber hulk and the old dwarf lady spills soup on the monsters, or tanlges them up in their sweaters no one is sure if this is intencional.

When a unit of Beholder Mages begin to rally their troops Kithle lances down with an acidic meteorswarm that dissolves them all.

Lisa leads the crew in a surprise charge hidden by andrea and Sa'vors forces. The sudden rush bowls down even the massive grey gluttons which ahi-zaji slays with particular relish.
Jarlot drunker than usual is fighting with a yard flamingo, and doing pretty well.

Terra and slip are disrupting wide swaths of the field laying down suppressive fire and hinding enemy reations to Allied movement. Terra is doing this in bird form flitting between units to co-ordinate attacks. At one point She dive right through the skull of a Far-spawn ogre about to axe lisa from behind.

Norbaz has tied Allen to a stange little erb and launched him into the middle of the Uberations, the cook lifts the lid from his latest batch of chilli and sticks message crystal that informs satnak not to eat this batch onto it. The chilli moves quickly towards the scent trail of allen's erb and attacks any uberation in its path.

Despite this the Creatures are pushing foward. As the surviving stagglers make it to the battle field the Sabetours, strike teams, erk, death paper, chalky, and the vermin attack the rear directly.

Cholar herds stupid towards the Ruined zone around melvin, johnny, and Squinty then watches in horror as the combined idocy and patheticness creates a mind-numbing barieron the right flank.

Surrounded but still overwhelming in power and number the Uberations begin to make head way. A truly massive Beholder Magus/cerebremancer is causing massive causualties.

Kithle attacks with a nasty green snow ball. The monster aims a massive volley of its most powerful spells at the impertinent Half-thilid. Only to watch them was over Kithle like a spring shower. Kithle walks calmly up to the creature, ignoring its repeated spell blasts, and removes its heart and lungs like he would remove its brain with the slight change of spitting them at the next foe. A quick gentle repose spell sets the creatur for later examination.

As kithle ports away with his prize he sends the invisible phollie the signal to move to a predetermined spot near the center of the uberation formation.

As the Crew and theri allies pull back the Uberations hesitate noting the kinds of tricks and traps that have been pulled do far, and because devon starts up his latest series of poems. Those with sensitive ears are writhing on the decks bleeding out every orifice and then some.

As phollie draws near the spot a massive explosion rocks the ship. An enourmous sovereign paintbomb quick dry varient has gone off. Right in the middle of the Uberation formation. The tides have turned as the crew recognizes helpless foes. Or in jarlots case a bunch of windmills.



Deep in his lair Volrath is livid.

Volrath - They didn't even last long enough to get to my entrance, or even kill Lisa. How did Kithle predict where to put the bomb?

Kithle - Simple I didn't I controlled the flow of battle there was no prediction involved. I knew where to put the bomb because i made your troops go to the bomb.

Volrath - This place is hidden and sheilded.

Kithle - only from extraordinary means of detection. I had you followed a few times.

Volrath - Why couldn't i detect the bomb?

Kithle - I had roosevelt build it into the ship then let phollie walk too close It wasn't a weapon till he got there. Speaking of which i hpoe he chokes to death in the aftermath.

Volrath - How did you Beat me? My troops were perfect.

Kithle - Hardly they were mostly disorganized despite their individually high intellects. Even with the mods you gave them they still need to sleep and eat some times. You let a let yourself get distracted from them by the mishaps caused by my Special weapons and sideplots. Speaking of which I'll be wanting Squinty, Melvin, and johnny back in stasis soon. You failed to maintain the health and morale of your troops. Also you only had 2 experienced crewmembers on your team. Ketler easily captured by wraiths, and Pholly who you mutated and I had Roosevelt nuetralize. You also managed to **** of Terra, don't do that, its bad for your health. Speaking of which, *MINDBLAST*, You need to be taught a lesson, lets see ahh yes acid drippers lets put these over your spine and watch.

Volrath - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH.

Kithle - It'll take a while for you to get fixed up, enjoy your mangled central nervous system till then. Bye




Later
Kithle - Sa'vor, Kantash help me with thing (drags in the big beholder mage still prserved). Sa'vor help me carry, Kantash get Silence and Satnak lets get to work.


A few days latter Kithle emerges from his lab With eyes Tattoed over his body, on the back of his hands, his shoulders, Knees, oustide edge of the feet, and sides of the torso.

Andrea - WTF kithle whats with the moving tattoes.

Kithle - ah yes its a nice little benefit of using actual beholder eyes for the inks, I can actually see out of these without being vulnerable to gaze attacks or expoing a weakspot in my phsiology like a true eye. Also they act as foci for my psionic abilities amplify and increasing the powers i can use as well as expanding my repetoire. Finally they interact with my chameleon powers allowing me to emulate meldshapers or vestige binders, whithout cutting into my uses of normal chameleon effects. Not to mention a nice little overall boost intoughness.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-08-06, 09:48 PM		Klaz and Vrin walk up the secret stairs and peek out the secret door. They see the übberations. They glance at each other. They carefully close the door and walk back down.

Lucky: I predict good times ahead.

Klaz: Okay, who let the sheila at the dreamlily. On this ship, peace never lasts for long. Hey, Roosevelt, where'd you get all that cash?

Roosevelt just chuckles meniacly.

Roosevelt: Splinters. I even amaze myself sometimes. That'll teach that little walking disaster to mess with chemicals against instructions.

OOC: This is in no way intended to say that rampant wasn't the one who came up with the splinter idea.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-08-06, 10:29 PM		Terra: Hey, Kithle. (sees the new tattos) Whoa, freaky.

Kithle: It takes a bit of getting used to. What did you need?

Terra: I'm still concerned. I really think you've underestimated Vorath. Perhaps Sa'vor had something to do with it, but that couldn't have been Volrath's entire force. I've known him longer than any of you besides Muradin, and I'm telling you, that was too easy.

Kithle: Easy? You call all that easy?

Terra: I know, but remember what he is. I don't think he's as down and out as you believe. He's probably already recovered from your punishment.

Kithle: That IS something...

Terra: Also, I've met his father. That is one SCARY guy. If Volrath goes to him for aid, we, and probably most of Eberron, are screwed.

Kithle: He's that powerful?

Terra: He destroys worlds for fun and profit, so yeah. But I do think I have an idea of how to calm Volrath down...

Kithle: Care to share it?

Terra whispers in his ear, and a look of amused disbelief comes across his face.

Kithle: You're JOKING!!!

Terra: No. Totally serious.

(later)

Volrath: All that hard work, down the drain. If Sa'vor wasn't absolutely necessary, I'd...

As Terra walks in, the brain in the jar pleads for help.

Brain: Please, kill me...

Terra: (to the brain) Hey, Wayne.

Upon hearing her voice, Volrath spins around and yells at her furiously.

Volrath: :tantrum: YOU!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!! YOU SCREWED EVERYTHING UP!!!

Terra: I did, didn't I? However, I couldn't just sit by and watch you kill off my best customers, regardless of your intentions.

Volrath is pouting in the corner, giving Terra evil looks.

Terra: But considering that that was still quite underhanded, even for me, I have a present for you.

Volrath hears a soft squeaking noise and perks up immediately when Terra holds out her hands.

Volrath: Is...is that :blink: ?

Terra: Yep.

Volrath: A BUNNY!!!!!

He runs over and scoops up the little rabbit, cuddling it lovingly.

Volrath: (sing-song) Bun-ny! Bun-ny! :cloud9:

(previously)

Kithle: That little terror likes bunnies!

Terra: Hard to believe, isn't it? You remember the goblin brain he keep's in his room? I helped Volrath capture the little bastard. During the raid, we came across their stock room, and it was filled with bunny meat. Volrath was dispondent for a week.

OOC: The bunny meat incident actually happened in our current campaign, of which our characters here are very loosely based. I am so getting smited for this next session :D ...
Crystalforged

04-09-06, 01:42 AM		Kanatash: We have a situation.

Savor: Again?

Kanatash: Yes, I have been checking all the copies of me that Volrath destroyed and the origional was not among them. He's not on the ship either.

Kithle: That's bad isn't it.

Kanatash: Ooooohhh yeah. If I know me he's been asembling an army of cloans of epic proportions and he'll be back with that army about say... (a massive explosion comes from the deck) Now.

The entire crew asembles on the deck as litterally hundreds of thousands of Kanatashes float off it's side.

Jarlot: Anyone got a plan here?

Kanatash: We need to eliminate the original. After he is dead all the others should revert. However if you can kill as many copies as possible it should make it easier to kill the duplicate.

Jarlot: Well you heard the sociopathic crime against nature. ATTACK!

A battle of massive proportions comences with Kithle and Savor unleashing magical and psionc strikes that destroy swaths of foes. Andrea comands her legions of undead out. Volrath sends forth the remainder of his aberration army. Terra summons forth various creatures to hold back the copies. Satnak is going on a killing spree with her arm while Norbaz uses the last of his chille to vaporize swaths of copies. Lisa and the other goody-goody crew members blast the copies with holy power and any copy approaching within ten feet of Aerith spontaneously combust from the sheer happyness she exudes. Despite all this Kanatashes are simply too many. The crew has been weakend from all the recent confilict and they are slowly being driven back.

Sa'vor: If anyone has some bright ideas now would be a good time!

Kelter: Well, I guess it's time to unleash my secret weapon. (reveals a small red button hidden in the butt of his crossbow.) ALL UNITS MOVE OUT!

A small army stormtroopers, yes those stormtroopers, spills out onto the deck and they being firing upon the masses of clopies.

Kanatash: (looking at the army of stormtroopers) If we survive this I promise to see you suffer indescribable pain for this.

Kelter: (chuckles) Begun this cloan war has.

Doog: Thats nice yoda. Now grab a crossbow and keep shooting.

The battle continues with the crew now making slow progress. Suddenly however a single Kanatash seperates himself from the mass. He practically glows with power and as he spreads his arms above his head a globe of absolute darkness begins to grow above him.

Kanatash: Thats him! The origional duplicate! If he can strike this ship with that sphere he will bring about the end of the universe!

The entire crew follows up with a volley of their most powerful attacks but as they approch they are simply drawn into the globe and absorbed.

Savor: This isn't working!

Kanatash: Leave him to me.

Kanatash darts towards the duplicate, clearing a swath of copies in his wake. The two engage each other in a flurry of martial and mental attacks that defies words. Neither seems to be gaining an advantage and the sphere has begun to drift in the direction of the ship. Finaly Kanatash manages to grapple his duplicate and hold him in place in mid air as the sphere is about to reach the ship.

Kanatash: John! Bigby's crushing tatical nuke NOW! Target me!

John: But...

Kanatash: DO IT!!!

The nuclear blast engulfs Kanatash and a shockwave rocks the entire ship. Suddenly the sphere of blackness winks out as if it were never there. All the Kanatash copies also return to their original form. Unfortunately most of them were floating off the deck of the forgotten freedom and they have just enough time to recognize their freedom before they are liquified by their impact with the ground.

Aerith: Oh wow. That was really noble of him. He sacraficed himself to save us all.

Jarlot: Uh, wow. I guess he kind of did. Never saw that coming.

Kanatash: (teleporting in behind him) Or not. You can't get rid of me that easily.

Lisa: How on earth did you survive that?!

Kanatash: Hmph, do you really think I would live on a ship with someone who could blast away a small continent and not have some contingencies to protect against having that power turned against me. Oh, and I'm not going to tell you how I survived, I won't reveal my secrets to YOU.

Lisa: Fine, so what now.

Kanatash: Well everything should go back to being as normal as one could hope for on this ship. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to see an artificer about a promise.
Charles Phipps

04-09-06, 02:10 AM		Dol Dorn: Oh hell....the Forgotten Freedom saved the world.

Arawai: Oh no...you know what that means....

Dol Dorn: Yes...

Dol Arrah: They're automatically getting a pass on all previous sinful behavior....

Kol Korn: That COMPLETELY throws the kharmic balance out of whack....

Dol Dorn: I guess this means Lisas off the hook from the Silver Flame....
Phantomcrossing

04-09-06, 03:01 AM		Norbaz stands quietly in the kitchen over his cutty board. Below are various vegetables he is slowly and methodicall cutting.

How did she know. And why are her words still echoing in my head. Its as if she automatically assumed I was the raping and pillaging type, and that it was special of me to do what I did...No...no that's not it at all. I just, I'm just a professional. I'm paid to kill and that's all. I just happen to keep a personal code of honor. I don't ask any of the other's to conform to it as much as they would have me conform to their own...but.
Damn it. She saw right through me.

Tiredly, Norbaz cleans off the knife and returns it to cabinet before dumping to contents of the cutting board into a pot for a generic stew for tonight's meal.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-09-06, 03:05 AM		OOC: Ok, I apologize for the length, but this needs to be done all at once.

BIC:
The sun breaks over the hills as Terra and Michael prepare to face off. It had rained the night before, and the ground was still a little damp. All the non-severely injured crew has gathered to watch the spectacle. Tabitha prepares to mediate, as she was the only one they could agree on.

Tabitha: (addressing Terra and Michael) All right, just to recap. Neither of you are allowed outside assistance, and that includes summoning, Michael cannot sunder any equipment, and Not-Walter is not allowed to participate in this battle.

Michael: Why did I agree to 'no sundering' again?

Terra: Because you cheap shotted me with that Hellbrew, and I promised to rip out your spleen while you slept if you didn't.

Michael: Oh yeah...

Michael has gone all out. He is decked out in full platemail and helmet, both colored black, and carries a dual-handed longsword surrounded by a dark glow. Terra remains in her usual robes, carrying only her Treebrother stalf, also glowing magically.

The crew stands on a small hill overlooking the plain. Terra and Michael ready themselves below as Tabitha prepares to start the match.

Terra: With everything that's happened, I'm glad you didn't take off. You remember the deal?

Michael: Yeah, yeah. You win, no more plotting and I leave you alone. I win, one night with you, without Not-Walter, and no killing me in my sleep...

At the signal, Michael charges, only to miss badly when Terra dodges to the side. Again he attacks, this time she parrys the blow, knocking the swing to her left side and causing him to loose his balance. With Michael wide open, Terra strikes quickly at his right shoulder and hops away.

Jarlot: (whistles) I thought this would be over quickly, but it seems I may have been mistaken.

Kanatash: True, it does look one sided at first glance. But Terra's elven dexterity and smaller frame make hitting her a bit of a challenge, especially with all that armor weighing Michael down. However, because of that armor, she can't do much damage.

The two trade blows repeatedly as Terra continues with hit and run tactics. After a while, Michael begins to time her, finally landing a blow, clipping her left arm and drawing blood. Terra flips away, landing several feet from him.

Terra: (smirking as she mockingly licks the wound) It's about time you hit me.

The battle continues to rage in this manner for over an hour, with neither side gaining the upper hand. After several lucky strikes by Michael, Terra had been forced to use a few Cure Moderate Wounds on the run. By this time, Michael's armor is quite dented, making it more difficult for him to move. Terra had also managed to knocked off his helmet about halfway through.

Kithle: Most intriguing...

Jarlot: What is? I don't see any end to this.

Kithle: You're only counting damage. Look at the ground beneath them.

Jarlot notices that several lines have appeared since the start of battle. Deep foot prints, gouges in the ground from Michael's misses, and Terra scraping the damp ground with her stalf as she moved have come together to form a nearly complete symbol.

Jarlot: What is that?

Kithle: An arcane sigil. I'm not entirely sure what she plans to do with it, but I have an idea. We'll see soon enough.

Volrath: (to himself) Show off...

The two of them clash again, but the battle has been slowing down as they exhaust themselves.

Sa'vor: It's almost over...

Jarlot: Yeah, looks like another draw.

Sa'vor: On the contrary, the victor has never really been in doubt.

Jarlot: Huh?

Sa'vor: Terra's been leading him by the nose this whole time. Directing his blows to help create the sigil, slowing him down, even giving him the illusion of winning by letting him hit her.

Jarlot: How can you possibly tell all this?

Sa'vor: I spent 20 years on the outer planes. Picking up stuff like this is childs play.

Jarlot: ...remind me never to **** either of you off.

Sa'vor looks at Jarlot oddly.

Jarlot: Er...for more than one reason.

With a swing, Michael finally succeeds in knocking Terra's stalf away. She dodges the following upward slash with a backflip, landing on her hands and then flipping again. She lands on her feet further away, only to fall to her knees, apparently out of exhaustion.

Kithle: And thus, the trap is set. :devil:

Before he can ask, Jarlot's attention is drawn back to the fight as Michael goes for the coup de gras.

Sa'vor: (smiling) I almost feel sorry for him.

As Michael nears the area Terra landed on in her backflip, she touches the ground and says a quick incantation. The grass glows, growing quickly, and the seeds she placed at the spot currently beneath Michael grow violently into vines.

Terra: Game...

The vines ensnare Michael easily, lifting him off the ground.

Michael: :gah: Son of a-!!!

From his slightly higher vantage point, Michael notices the pattern in the ground, as well as the fact that he is currently in the center.

Terra: Set...

The sigil glows brightly as Terra chants, and a look of disbelief crosses Michael's face.

Terra: :devil: Match...

Arcane power surrounds him, closing in as Terra continues the spell.

Michael: OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP!!!!!

Encircled by the Imprisonment spell, he disappears in a flash of light.

Terra: Suck on that, b**ch...

Stillness falls over the field, broken only by Kithle's clapping.

Kithle: :clap: Absolutely magnificent, my dear!

Sa'vor: (amused) Yes, most impressive.

Jarlot: (incredulous) HOLD IT!!!! I'm no expert in magic, but I know DAMN well that Druids can't cast arcane spells, much less level nine ones!!

Kanatash: I think we're all a little confused on that point...

Terra dusts herself off and turns to them.

Terra: You are correct, Captain. However, I am not limited to Druidic spells.

Jarlot: :confused:

Terra: As a Druid, I can draw power from my companion animal. And as you know, Not-Walter is no normal animal. He is fully sentient and, as you probably do not know, quite proficient in Arcane magic.

Tabitha: You cheated!

Terra: Not quite. Not-Walter did nothing, as promised, I simply drew off his powers. I guess the best way to describe it is that I channeled his abilities.

Tabitha opens her mouth to protest, but closes it again as she thinks. A few minutes pass, and she finally responds.

Tabitha: ...have you ever considered accounting? Or maybe law?

Terra: Yeah, it's not for me.

After a few minutes rest, Terra turns to Sa'vor.

Terra: Hey, Sa'vor? It's been about fifteen minutes. I think he's had enough.

Sa'vor: (disappointed) Very well...

Sa'vor casts Freedom, releasing Michael from his magical prison. He reappears, pale, sweating, wide eyed and shaking in terror. When he sees Terra grinning at him, he cringes and begins sobbing.

Jarlot: (looking at Michael) Yikes... (turning to Terra) Why did you need the sigil?

Terra: As you said before, Imprisonment is not a natural spell for me, so I needed something to help me control it. The sigil kept it from going wild and possibly swallowing me as well.

Jarlot: And that's why you haven't done this before?

Terra nods, then stumbles slightly as exhaustion finally overcomes her.

Terra: *sigh* Channeling also takes quite a toll on me physically and mentally. That's only the third time I've ever done something like that.

A little ways away, Kithle and Sa'vor converse telepathically.

Kithle: Heh, she was holding back the whole time. She owned him far more than we thought she would.

Sa'vor: Indeed. Letting go of her weapon like that was the perfect bait. How could he possibly resist? And that last maneuver was particularly interesting...

Kithle: Whoever Not-Walter really is, he's a force to be reckoned with. Michael will never live this down, but the overconfident little puke deserved it.
Charles Phipps

04-09-06, 03:41 AM		OOC: Ok, I apologize for the length, but this needs to be done all at once.

Beautiful post.

*applauds*
Charles Phipps

04-09-06, 03:57 AM		Jarlot: Ah Lisa, its a sad, sad, sad, day that you'll be leaving us.

*has already packed all of her stuff for her*

Lisa: FINALLY! At last recalled to the Church of the Silver Flame by Pontiff Jaela!

Jarlot: Yes, don't let the door hit you on the way out. After all we have another holier than though replacement for you in :inlove: Aerith :love:

Lisa: You do realize I intend to come after you.

Jarlot: I'm sure I'm quaking in my boots after having faced a million Kanatashs, flying through Xoriat, and living next to a horrible monstrouscity.

:coolcthul: Hmmm?

Aerith: Well my mission is done. I guess its time to go as well.

Jarlot: OH HELLLLLLL NO!

Aerith: I'm sorry Captain but I was here on the Orders of Pontiff Jaela to go help Lisa overcome her awful circumstances in order to rejoin with the Church of the Silver Flame.

Lisa: free...free...free...MUHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA.

Jarlot: :mymy:

Aerith: I want you to know that I've baked some cookies for your crew though....with a pharmacy of Prozac though plus also mended all of your Red Shirts pain and suffering. Plus I want to give you this Cherry Snapple Case of Healing for your time with me.

*she handed over the case then to Jarlot*

Jarlot: But...but...I want....you...here...

Aerith: I know that I will miss one crew member moe than anyone else I've ever met this is true...Oooohhhh...

Jarlot: Oh Aerith I...

* Aerith snuggles :coolcthul:*

:coolcthul: I love you too.

Jarlot::censored:

Aerith: Captain, is something wrong?

Jarlot:headexplo

Lisa: I'm sure he's fine Lisa. There's no problem I'm sure.

Jarlot: :hoppingma

:coolcthul: Aerith, if you want...I could come with you.

Aerith: Oh? COULD YOU!?

Jarlot::fight!:

*the three then headed off together*

Jarlot: :banghead:

Ketler: Ummm....Captain? Uhhh...if you'd like to go drinking. I'm sure that it'll take the edge off.

Jarlot: No thank you. I don't think I'm in the mood to drink anymore.

Ketler: :gah: Oh...hell.

Jarlot: No...I...other things to think on.

***

*In the Dimension of the Quori*

Nyzzshar: Everything is proceeding as planned.

Hashtar: Yesssssssss....

Korthos: Let us continue our plot...
rampant

04-09-06, 05:09 AM		Kithle - Godsdamnit do I ever get any peace. I can feel you bastards I know your up to something you twits. I'm a mortal human (originaly at least) psychic who sleeps and dreams. I can freaking hear you. LEAVE MY HOME ALONE YOU TWITS OR I'LL TEACH SATNAK HOW TO TRAVEL TO YOUR REALM FOR REAL INSTEAD OF JUST DREAM STATE.

Satnak - Huh? tired... need chili... *GLARE*

Quori - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RUN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Kithle - *shudders* even her dream self is scary before breakfast.
Endless_Helix

04-09-06, 08:40 AM		More Adventures Of The Lesser Crew

Phollie, Smig, Klaz, Vrin, and Ninja Jaela are showing Silence around their abode. It's basically part of the cargo hold that the group of them have curtained off into little rooms.

Vrin : Yeah, Jarlot kicked us out of our rooms because, well more dngerous people wanted them pretty much...

Silence : OMG! That so suxxorz! Authority is teh lozerz...

Smig : The infernal crimes against nature shall be punished for the indignies they have piled upon me, oh yes they shall...

Klaz : You say that every five minutes, mate.

Smig : That doesn't make it less true!

Phollie : ANYWAY, moving on. Hoybee, Devon, Chalky, Ketler, and Ajihazi still have their rooms for various reasons.

Silence : Uh... why? I mean you've gotten more screen time than Ajihazi has in the last couple of pages...

Klaz : Well, Ajihazi has the potential to take down Kanatash, so Jarlot keeps him around for insurance, Devon's room is too emo for anyone else to live in, entering Hoybee's room is just plain dangerous; I mean, he uses Devon's poetry for his spell book, and well mate, Chalky's room is just plain disgusting.

Silence : Er... okay.

Vrin : So pretty much we play poker, generally of the strip variety because we have no money, and keep our heads down so they don't get chopped off.

Klaz : No, it's more a long the lines that he has no money, so he can only play in the occasional strip poker game. Look missy, he's possibly the worst poker player that the world has ever been graced with, and he has the worst luck besides poor Shiela over here *winks at Lucky d'Medani, who rolls her eyes*.

Lucky : Thank you sooo much, Klaz

Phollie : Yeah, and I have my alchemy lab in the corner, and the awakened toilet's grave is over there. Doog killed it for talking back at him.

Silence : So, let me get this straight, basically you're disenfranchised, living in a shanty town, below the poverty line, discriminated against, and like, completely quiet about it ?! OMG, it's pathetic! Why don't you leave?

Klaz : Most of us have at some point or another, Smig, V, Myself and Ajihazi tried the whole adventurer on our own, failed miserably and headed back. I don't think that Trolanport wil ever forgive us for that loose lightning monolith...

Smig : It's what they deserve for tinkering with the natural order!

Lucky : Look, Silence is it? Well I suggest getting the hell out of here. Most of us are on the run and this is just about the only place in Eberron where we can find sanctuary, primarily because there isn't any law enforcement in the world that's dumb enough to attack this much evil head on.

Silence : Well, I think I'll fit in fine around here! I'm a depressed, angsty, emo goth girl with extensive daddy issues and a hair trigger. And I can summon things from beyond mortal comprehension and control them.

Ninja Jaela : Club go join.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-09-06, 10:07 AM		( Sa'vor stood on deck gazing over the edge, his black robes fluttering around him, occasionaly revealing the armour beneath. Sa'vor raised a hand as they flew over a small village, he flet the arcane words flow from him and the extasy of power flowed through his viens. the old pyromania was returning, Sa'vor embraced the magical flame and unleashed it into one pure blast. A church of the silver flame went up in flames, the flames hungered from material to eat. they flowed across the wooden timbers and holy symbols. they eat the poor mortals inside, devouring thier material forms. Sa'vor guided the flame as it eat away at the other houses and buildings, its toungs lashed at fleeing villagers immolating them. tearing at buildings. devouring grain stores. shearing towers in half. Sa'vor reveled the flames, feeling thier warmth spread through him. in minuets all that was left was ashes. Sa'vor let go of the feeling. he shouldnt give in to the pyromania. but all his life he'd felt the flames within him. he'd embraced it when Naz'roth had been in his mind, Naz'roth had let him revel in the flames, watch them dance over human flesh, disintergrate gobliniods, immolate elves and dwarves. tear at warforged. War was for Sa'vor, he knew it in his blood, The last war had been his release from the world. he hadnt wanted to return. but he'd lived. now he was stuck with the feeling that he shouldn't be here, that he'd been let live for his purpose. the gods had somthing planned for him.)

Naz'roth: You still hunger for battle dont you old friend?

Sa'vor: Yes, everytime i've slept since we fought Volrath i've had nightmares and dreams of the last war.

Naz'roth: you long for flame dont you?

Sa'vor: yes... it started at the same time, i long to unleash its burning powers again and again. now i feel the longing for the other elements as well, to unleash waves of burning acids and alkalinesl. to rain down lightning. to freeze people solid. to crush people with bursts of sound. to shatter bones with force.to rend peoples souls with negative energy. to melt undead with positive energy. to roar out the words of darkspeak again

Naz'roth: Its your curse young one, your born for war. and you now live in a time of peace. you'll have to find another outlet for this power.

Sa'vor: creating and forgeing was my outlet, now that only sates the desire a small portion

Naz'roth: perhaps you sould take a trip to the eternal battle fields?

Sa'vor: no, i cant, not now. the empire is far more important at the moment.

Naz'roth: How about those villagers? where they a way to release this desire of yours?

Sa'vor: yes and this futhers my cause. this will probaly make thrane build another of thier fleets to destroy us.

Naz'roth: if you let this desire for destruction take you then you'll be no use to anyone. flex your iron will. crush it, bottle it up. unleash it when you need it most.

Sa'vor: i'll try.
( in the shadows Volrath smiled, at last he'd found it, the trigger. the way to control Sa'vor. his weakness, perhaps he had others. Volrath vanished into the shadows smiling evily. he turned. and on a crate stood Void. the Ravens black eyes twinkled with amusement)

Void: *CAW* look what i have here, little spies, all sneaky and deciteful
( Sa'vor turned)
Sa'vor: hello Volrath, looks like you learned one of my secrets. this cant happen, im afraid im going to have to erase it form your memory. that or kill you.

Volrath: you cant get close enough to me to try!
( raises a hand and unleashes a huge storm of lightning bolts, Sa'vor just stood there and embraced thier elemetal might. then sa'vor seemed to glow with an etheral light, his eyes seemed distant, he raised his hand to the clouds overhead. Volrath shuddered, he was riding the storm. nobody had been crazy enough to do this in a long time. from the clouds a bolt of elemental fire struck down from the heavens, followed by bolts of lightning. each hammered against Volraths shield. a bolt of sound hammered down from the heavens shattering Volraths shield. Sa'vors eyes reassumed their focus, and unleashed a bolt of negative energy. Volrath fell to his knees, energy crackling across form. Sa'vor placed a hand on Volraths head. and all whent black)
Kaizer_Ryu

04-09-06, 12:03 PM		Beautiful post.

*applauds*

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was working on that for a week. :D
urial angel of death

04-09-06, 03:00 PM		Volrath is frolicing through the halls completely blissful.
Aerith is skipping along the same hallway
Volrath : Hello (gives her a big hug.) Sorry about what happened. I really never ment to hurt you.
Aerith : Oh thats okay none of the aberrations could touch me. I also made sure that Kithle's plans for a mindflayer empire have been delayed long enough for our prophecy.
Volrath : Good, but I was talking about the aberrations. I was talking about, you know before.
Aerith : I just met you when I boarded the Forgotten Freedom. All that we ever did was find out we were bother members of the "Order of the Prophecy".
Volrath : Good you don't re3meber from before. That's a load off my mind. Also can you bring Lisa back I mean you and :coolcthul are never coming back, but Lisa did soemthing I can not forgive.
Aerith : Fine, I'll send her back but you have to put Pholly back to normal.
Volrath : Fine, but if the need comes he's going back to this (waves hand at Pholly in aberration state.
Aerith vanishes and Volrath cluches his head as it throbs, for reasons he doesn't remeber.

OOC: Sorry for not posting my version of battle, computer crashed rather spectaclurly. Oddly enough almost everything I had planned happened thanks to Kaiser Ryu. The only thing I'll miss is the one-on-one fight between Kelter and Sa'vor. Poor Kelter. Kaiser Ryu no you won't be "smited". Well maybe not. :schemes:
Kaizer_Ryu

04-09-06, 03:46 PM		Kaiser Ryu no you won't be "smited". Well maybe not. :schemes:

OOC: Oh, well, that's good to hear...I guess.

BIC:

Terra enters Sa'vor cell, looking rather serious.

Terra: Hey, Sa'vor, I need to talk to you. Privately.

Sa'vor nods his head, then leads her into on of his hidden pocket dimensions.

Sa'vor: What's so improtant?

Terra: Before I start, you're absolutely sure no one can listen in?

Sa'vor: (scans the area) Well, I can guarantee that no one is listening now.

Terra: It'll have to do, time is short. Know this, what I'm about to tell you, only Not-Walter and I really know. Believe me, if I didn't absolutely require your help, I wouldn't even be telling you.

Sa'vor: ...very well, I won't say a word.

Terra: Thank you...
urial angel of death

04-09-06, 04:17 PM		Volrath is standing before a wispy image of Hastur, in his King in Yellow form.

Hastur : You still have not freed he. I am looking into of forms of help.
Volrath : Well your byakhees didn't exactly show up!

Hastur grumbles and disappears.
Rei32491

04-09-06, 05:39 PM		Nalfein, Envoker 5/ cleric 5/ mystic theuger 5 elf CE

Nalfein had heard about the FF and how it has pillaged many places of great wealth. This made him assume that they had a large number of magic items. When he joined however, he found that most of the items were either hoarded by the ubers or too complicated to be used by humanoids. His job on the FF is to distribute, identify, and hold most of the ships magic items. He also scribes scrolls... for a fee. While he would like to hoard all the items to himself, he doesn’t because he knows what the ubers would do to him if he did. He liberally switches between 2nd, 3rd, and 3.5 edition rules for spells, depending on what suits him at the time. He enjoys abusing people, especially when it is without threat of retribution. He is currently eyeing some in particular… :smirk:

Jarlot is interviewing a skeletal pasty elf.

Jarlot: So what would you bring to the crew, Nalfein is it? I’ve never been good with elf names.

Nalfein: Yes it is. I am very good with handling, caring for, and identifying magic items. Also I have no conscience. I killed it awhile ago.

Jarlot: Alright, go to Kanatash. Just realize I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you.


----

Awhile later Nalfein is walking on the deck.

Nalfein: My head hurts. :(

He sees Volrath drinking a violate green liquid.

Nalfien: Oh, oh no.

Volrath looks up.

Volrath: Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? Oh yeah! We shared a room at Sigil Prep. You were a nerd.

Nalfien: And you were the weird kid who sat gibbering in the corner, yet passed first in all classes. You also had some really weird porn. What do you do here?

Volrath: I’m the librarian of this ship.

Nalfien: Those poor people, (shudders) you’re filing system...

Volrath: It isn’t so bad; most of them don’t read; now just hand over all your books to be categorized.

Nalfien: No! I remember what you did to my books last time.

Volrath: Those things in the margins weren’t so bad.

Nalfien: :rant: They drove me insane for three weeks!!! I failed the semester because of it!

Volrath: Yeah, but that chick at the party really dug you.

Nalfien: I don’t even remember her.

Volrath: To bad about what you did to her.

Nalfien: What did I do?

Volrath: I don’t think she’ll ever be the same...

#5133: No, Nalfien is not really a drow.
#5134: No, he is not from Forgotten Realms.
#5135: No, he is not Drizzt's older brother.
#5136: No, he is not really dead.
#5137: Him going to sigil Prep is not evidence that he can ingore canon material.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-09-06, 06:09 PM		More Adventures Of The Lesser Crew
OOC: Kudos to Endless Helix for picking up the slack.

Some time after the aberration battle…

Kithle: Time to make use of this floating pile of eyes.

Kithle uses his great psychic powers to move the dead beholder. On the way to his lab he bumbs into Igor, who is still scrubbing some slime off the walls.

Kithle: Excuse me. Mad genius coming through.

Igor politely shuffles to the side.

Igor: If I may athk, thir, what do you plan to do with thith?

Kithle: Oh, just make use of its main features….

Igor nods.

Igor: Mathter ir'Wanabe altho had the idea to graft beholder eyeth onto hith body. Thhame about that cathe of pink-eye. Do you intend to graft directly, thir, or will you be taking thampleth and growing your own?

Kithle: You seem to know quite a lot about the subject.

Igor: It'th not for nothing that people believe all mad thientithtth have an athithtant named Igor. I remember Mathter Mordain…

Kithle: Mordain the Fleshweaver. Yes, I can see it in your mind. It was back in his early years…

Igor:…when he did thome of hith betht work. And then there wath Mathter Othalak…

Kithle: A daelkyr? You were actually employed by one of those things. Back during the…the invasion of Dhakaan! Okay. If you've worked for people like that I don't see the harm in having an assistant. It's not like you're going to see anything incriminating.

Igor follows Kithle into his lab. There are the usuall tables of chemicals, the various storage cylinders, the racks of pointy metal objects. However everything is packed up neatly and is spotlessly clean.

Igor: You have good tathte in equipment, thir. But I mutht thay, it lacth the look of horror. Master ir'Wanabe could never find the time to clean up after an experiment gone wrong. Adventurerth uthed to comment on it.

Kithle: You can never be too careful around this ship.

As if to punctuate what he is saying, there is the sound of Pholly blowing making a mistake.

Igor seems to know just what to do. He picks up a tray of tools with only a cursory glance, then prepares a couple of tables to work on.

Igor: Do you withh the eyeth to be freth, or pickled?

Kithle: I want to get this done before anything else comes up, so just get them out. I'll be doing most of the real work once that's done.

Just then Kantash floats down fromt the ceiling.

Igor: And how are you today, thir? Any more problemth with the cloneth?

Kantash is as unreadable as ever.

Kantash: I need to probe your brain. Captains orders.

Igor nods.

Igor: Will it be takthing? I wath jutht about to work on thith beholder for thir Kithle here.

Kantash: I've got powers beyond your comprehension. I can do this in my sleep. If I slept, that is.

Igor turns back to his task.

Igor: That's what Mathter Nath'goth said, right before he wath imporithoned. And then there wath Mithtreth d'Vol…

Kantash: Quite a life there, Igor. I've definitely got to get inside your head.

And so Kantash starts his process. Down, down, down through the layers of memory. He flys past short scenes of villains getting their butts kicked, interspirsed with the experiements of mad people and Igor doing housework. But as the henchman's life rewinds before Kantash, it gets to be less and less, until there is only a string of names, and the end of which is…

Kantash: Khyber.

Kithle (who'd also been looking): Khyber.

Igor watches their expressions of surprise with the understanding that comes from having this done to him more than once.

Igor: Yeth. There wath that tiff with thir Thiberyth. And they theemed like thuth a nithe couple.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-09-06, 07:25 PM		What happened to Jaela after the village massacre?
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-09-06, 07:25 PM		Coming soon on "Adventures of the Lesser-Used Crew":

The Rescue of Pirate Jaela
Kaizer_Ryu

04-09-06, 08:10 PM		Sa'vor: That's quite a story. I can see why you two are so cautious...

Terra: Exactly. Timing is crucial. As soon as you find one, let me know. I'll begin preparing what I can in the mean time.

Sa'vor: One last question. If this is so dangerous, why did you draw such attention to yourself?

Terra: I need one that is at least mid level. With what I showed, they'll be quite eager to find out more...

Sa'vor: Most interesting...an you seriously think you can pull this off?

Terra: They know as much about what goes on in my head as you did. I'd say I have a fairly good chance.
Rei32491

04-09-06, 09:16 PM		Nalfien is walking down a hall-way talking to himself.

Nalfien: Man, I was hopeing that there would be at least ONE vampire on this ship...

He hears a redshirt screem, so he runs to the source and sees Sa'vor drinking his blood.

Sa'vor: Ah, much better.

Nalfien: :blink: SWEET!!!

Nalfien then jumps and grapples onto Sa'vors arm.

Nalfien: PLEASE MAKE ME INTO A VAMPIRE!!! :bigeyes:

Sa'vor: What, no, get off me!

Sa'vor starts walking down the hall dragging Nalfien, who is clinging to his arm.

Nalfien: PLEASE!!!

Sa'vor: NO DAMMIT, GET OFF!!!

Sa'vor then picks Nalfien up and throws him down the hall and though a few walls landing Nalfien in his room.

Nalfien: :weep: :allalone:.

Then Nalfien passes out from the impact from the landing.

Sa'vor: Freak. :looloo:
Charles Phipps

04-09-06, 09:32 PM		Ketler: Ummm...chief...this is insane.

Jarlot: New Rule: THE CAPTAIN IS NOT CRAZY AGAIN.

Ketler: Can you stop talking in rules?

Jarlot: New Rule: Cannot question the Captain making up rules.

Ketler: Oh this is ridiculous.

Jarlot: New rule. The Captain is infalliable.

Ketler: I really shouldn't have helped you do this....

Andrea: Uhhh...what is the Captain doing?

Ketler: Oh, he had me build him some trans-dimensional engines for the ship. He's going to use the sheer volume of people killed onboard this ship as psychic fuel for piercing the barrier to the Dream Dimension.

Andrea: For the Love of the Dark Six...WHY?

Ketler: Well here's his logic....he wants Aerith right?

Andrea: For reasons unfathomable to me except for "men are stupid" yes.

Ketler: Aerith is good, right?

Andrea: In its purest nightmarish form. Yes.

Ketler: Well, killing evil is good right?

Andrea: This line of conversation always leads to suffering.

Ketler: Well she ALSO likes disgusting Cthuhoid horrors.

Andrea: Who doesn't?

Ketler: :uh-huh: Well, the Captain thinks that by piercing the barrier to the Dreaming Dark's dimension and flooding the universe with them, he can then kill them and win her back.

Andrea: And whyever she dumped him...well at least you didn't go along with it right?

Ketler: Uhhhh....

Andrea: You DIDN'T.

Ketler: Uhhh...

Andrea: YOU DID.

Ketler: It was technology....from XEN'DRICK! I'M ONLY HUMAN!

Andrea: Half-Gnome.

Ketler: Don't tell people that!

*Jarlot pushed then the WARP button*

*Everyone then saw themselves in a crystaline, astral dimension*

Ketler: Now we're in a dimension of our dreams and worst nightmares....this will not end well.

Andrea: We can always go back...

*Engine sputters*

Ketler: And the dimensional barriers are also weakened by our flight path...
JakeQuistis

04-09-06, 11:32 PM		"Get out of my way, you failure of an artificer." Allen says, pushing Ketler away from the broken down engines. "It's obvious that you made a mistake right here, in creating this out of lithium instead of dreamanium. It's a little known material though, that only exists in rare places outside of the Dream dimension. It's a good thing I had some of the other crew members pick some up for me on some of their trips here, or else we would be up a creek filled with unmentionable horrors without a paddle. Now just give me a few hours, and we'll be back to Prime."
Allen then went about his business fixing the engines.
turalisj

04-09-06, 11:41 PM		**meanwhile, back on deck**

Ketler: Ok, don't panic, just stay calm and this will turn out alright.

Sa'vor(walking up from below deck) What is going on now?

Ketler: Um...well...you see...

*a pseudonatural parakeet flaps by*

Sa'vor: I don't believe it... you didn't....

Ketler: Um, heh.

*a pair of mindbolds jump onto the deck, dressed in black body suits and wielding ninja-to*

Mindbold1: Finaly, the dimension has been weakend. Now, we can use this ship to get to the material plane, and finaly be out of this forsaken plane!
Charles Phipps

04-10-06, 12:15 AM		Jarlot: Allen?

Allen: Yes?

*pulls out a lightning gun and shoots the engines*

Jarlot: We're not leaving this dimension until I bag me some Dream Dimensional evils and thus prove myself to my lady love!

Andrea: She doesn't even like you!

Kanatash: I'm afraid this situation is a tad severe. The Captain's gone crazy again.

Andrea: GAWDSDAMN YOU KANATASH!

Kanatash: I can assure you that on this occasion that this is absolutely nothing to do with me. I promised that after my previous efforts in warping the fragile balance between sanity and insanity that he progressed before that I'd never do it again.

Andrea: ....

Kanatash: Alright fine, I never do repeat work. No sense of art to it.

Andrea: Then who?

Kanatash: The Dreaming Dark of course. They have no doubt lured Captain Jarlot here with images of the Flower Shop girl and thus manipulated him directly into their plans.

V and Ketler in unison: Jaela....Jaela....

*A giant floating image of her hovered above*

Andrea: So he's going to be obsessive the entire time and just slightly worse than Captain Ahab?

Kanatash: Not at all. In the dreamlands he'll be much much much much worse than Captain Ahab crossed with Captain Bligh and a little Mutiny on the bounty with less buggery.

*Jarlot blows a hunting horn as he moves around a giant ballista while waving a harpoon*

Andrea: I swear, this is why I rely on my stunning bossom and mind control for my men.
Phantomcrossing

04-10-06, 12:17 AM		Flash! Allen setting up to repair Ketler's engines.

Flash! Norbaz trying to calm a twelve alarm chili that he was trying to store before the ship dimension hopped but is now free.

Flash! Michael pining over how he never got to have his way with or corrupt lisa.

Flash! Silence in the cargo hold trying to figure out why her latest summoning attempt just failed and a nexus of pure un-reality is swirling before her.

Flash! The last Ninja Jaela trying to figure out if she has some "clone disease" due to her rapid age jump of five years as the entire ship shifted to the dream world.

Flash! A returned to normal Pholly walking with a shiny new alchemist fire in a flask as Phollie rounds the corner facing him with a new flask of acid in tow, both having their full attention upon their flasks, blind to the world around them. They are on a collision course.

Flash! The Paladin Lisa, standing before Pointiff Jaela, speaker of the flame, as it is being decided that she return to the Forgotten Freedom. Lisa stands before the leader of her faith in chains, wailing crys of mercy. Pointiff Jaela casts Wish with the intent of sending Lisa to the forgotten freedom.

Flash! Murdain is eating a banana on deck, finishes, and throws it over his shoulder so he can go look at the pretty pretty shinies now around the ship.

Now for the series of unfortunate events.

Lisa appears ten feet above Silence, and falls upon her as is quickly consulting a book on how to seal this nexus of un-reality, only to cause a mess up that prompts the nexus to launch a series of reality rending tendrils about the room, removing the floor boards beneath Pholly and Phollie two floors above. The tilted boards sends Phollie on deck and Pholly to the kitchen, tripping into the chilli and dropping an Alchemist fire, causing it to catch flame. On deck, Phollie slips on the banana peel and throws his acid into the air. Ninja Jeala is adjusting her now improperly fitting leather armor/ninja suit, as the acid lands upon her shoulder, burning both her and enough of her armor for one side of the upper torso and the clothing beneath it to give way, just as Michael walks up from below deck. He immidiately sees the partially explosed and legal Ninja Jaela and runs towards her, only to trip on the hole that Phollie first arried on deck through, shattering a Michael sized hole in the deck with his armor as a ribbon of Un-Reality cuts through the mast, Michael crashes down, through several decks weakend by beams and tendrils of Un-reality, through the galley and into the engine room. The now aflame chilli construct roars in pain and escapes down the michael shaped hole and into the engine room, falling upon the dimensional engines, and -


-the newly brought in amount of Dreamanium.
rampant

04-10-06, 02:15 AM		CHalky - Oh for crying out loud we did this already, wake me up when we get back.



Kithle - While we're here... (evil look) Satnak grab a rope and tie it to the bow. Tow us towards the strongest quori signatures you can sense. Igor thanks for that tip on tattoeing the eyes instead of a direct graft or growth, could you grab roosevelt and any redshirts with useful skills to repair the damage caused by that string of humurous events, grab a healer too. Terra you might want to supervise. Sa'vor your cover fire for Satnak watch her back blast anything that gets tto close unless she says otherwise.

Mindbolds - hey we're invading over here!

Kithle - Death paper, Earl

Death Paper - Schnik Schnik

Earl - suck ice

Mindbold 1 - my clavin!

mindbold 2 - my balls

mindbolds - hurk

Kithle - Kanatash take death paper to handle any lesser threats that get on the ship would you. Terra once you get that fiasco cleared grab the guys from the hold and get them working with kanatash. ... Volrath don't even think about it i can reach right through the hull of this ship to get you if i have to. I know your plotting something with the qouri here, give it up, bringing us here was a mistake for them. Most creatures would want away from satnak and her arm. This means they either underestimate it or think they have a counter. Either way they are screwed. I really hate to remove your spine twice in a row, so if you don't cool it i will turn your rabbit into a rat.
Charles Phipps

04-10-06, 02:50 AM		OOC: I think this may be my best post yet. Admittedly, its mostly stolen from a favorite movie of mine but.....

Ketler: Oh yeah, and one more problem....

Andrea: Yes?

Ketler: The Captain screamed about the space whales and flew off after him....I think he was last scene swimming towards....err..elsewhere....

Andrea: And this is a problem why?

Ketler: He's got the keys...

***

*In the City of Eternal Shadow made of the very essence of Dream stuff*

*The Captain is carted off in chains towards the Maw of the Dreaming Dark*

Jarlot: My name is Jarlot and I am a slave. As far as I can tell, the year is 4 After the Day of Mourning and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this, I had a normal life, once.

Jarlot: [now in a flashback to Sharn] Hardware aisle twelve, shop smart, shop S-Mart!

Jarlot: [back to monologue] I had a beautiful girlfriend named Aerith. We decided to spend a weekend at an abandoned cabin in the woods. While there we found a book, Necronomiconexmortis, roughly translated, the Book of the Dead. Inked in human blood and bound in human flesh it was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something in the woods, something evil.

[something comes through the window of the cabin and Aerith screams]

Jarlot: It took Aerith. Then it came after me, it got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist.

[Jarlot is seen cutting off his hand]

Jarlot: But that didn't stop it, it came back for more.

Jarlot: [Jarlot gets pulled into the vortex holding onto the plane of dreams] For God's sake how do you stop it?



[Ash is also in Chains behind him]

[b]Ash: What the hell? That's MY STORY!

Jarlot: I didn't see YOU using it.

[In front of Jarlot we see Slip]

Slip: I don't know how I constantly get dragged into this.

Jarlot: It's easy, you're secretly in love with me and hate the fact I'm in love with another woman.

Slip: ...I beg your pardon?

Jarlot: No sane woman would be in your position otherwise.

Ash: She's got a point. Women are funny like that. First they want to kill you, then they want to kiss you.

Jarlot: Sometimes both. Okay, we're in a city of approximately I'd say....3 million Quori plus their enslaved soul minions. They have a horde of dream servants and fairly unlimited control over their environment plus they serve the living embodiment of evil itself we're going to be fed to. What's the plan?

Ash: Plan? Hell no! We don't need no stinking plan! Plans are for sissies, What we need is a gawdsdamned chainsaw!

Slip: Which is good because we're in the plane of dreams and can just think one up.

[Ash and Jarlot pause in line]

*seconds later*

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

KABLAM KABLAM KABLAM KABLAM

*Jarlot wielding two assault rifles simultaneously*

*Ash screamingly chopping tentacles left and right with his chainsaw*

*Slip...stepping quietly out of the way*

Evil Jarlot: You'll never retrieve the Necronomicon! You'll die before ya get it!

Jarlot: Hey! What's that you got on your face?

Evil Jarlot: Huh?

[Jarlot shoots his dream double in the face with explosive crossbow +5]

Slip: Why are we supposed to be going after the Necromonicron?

Jarlot: Oh HELL if I know. I'm making this up as I go along!

Ash: It's probably their secret weakness.

Slip: I doubt they would be so stupid to mention causally their weakness.

Jarlot: They brought US here after all and our minds are such vacant masses of distilled pop culture and lack of sense that we're probably unstoppable here

*drives an ax into a quori and starts taunting it*

Ash: Don't taunt the Tentacled horror.

Jarlot: Why is that bad?

Ash: No, just tacky.

***

Quori Elder: Our plan may need...some adjustment.

Supreme Quori: Prepare....the Endgame.

Quori Elder: ....one of these days we're going to need some non-cliche dialogue.

***

[The Tarrasque steps on Jarlot]

Slip: Oh my God! JARLOT! I never got to tell you how I feel!

Jarlot: I'm all right!

*slithers out from underneath the Tarrasque completely flat and starts pumping himself up with hot air*

Slip: What...the...hell.

Jarlot: What? Can't you do this on the plane of dreams?

Slip: No....

Jarlot: Good thing I didn't know. Taking that one out is going to be a chore.

Ash: They've got reinforcements coming!

[Chuck Norris, Batman, Godzilla, Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, Cloud, Sephiroth, Kurt Russel, Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, Elminster, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S Preston, Theodore Logan, Scruff Magruff, Hulk Hogan, Shaquille O'Neil join the fight]

Jarlot: Oh hell yes, I've wanted YEARS to get revenge on Kurt Russel.

*cocks shotgun*
Kaizer_Ryu

04-10-06, 03:57 AM		Upon completion of her tasks, Terra returns to her room.

Terra: (to herself) Things are progressing far faster than anticipated. This may be my only chance...

Within her room sits an altar, upon which lies the unconscious form of a Quori scout Sa'vor had captured and bound for her. Her room is covered in ancient symbols written in Redshirt blood, and before the alter sits a tome glowing with dark power and a ritual knife covered in runes.

Terra: Not really ideal circumstances, but it'll have to do.

On the other side of the altar, a sigil is inscribed onto the floor. Not-Walter hops down and takes up position here. Terra opens the tome and begins to chant in Dark Speech, the sigil glowing brightly. When she plunges the dagger into the Quori's chest, it awakens with a start. Magically bound to the altar, it is nearly unable to move.

Quori: (looks at Terra, then at Not-Walter) Ugh...*hack*...Y-you! You...should *cough* be dead!

Not-Walter: (telepathically) Not quite. I wasn't about to die still bound in this form...

Still chanting, Terra begins pulling the knife down his torso, blood gushing from the wound.

Quori: *gurgle* You cannot win...guh...my masters will kill you all...

Not-Walter: I've been waiting a milennia for this. Now, you who cursed my name, you who imprisoned me, you will know my wrath!

At this, a stream of light emerges from the now dead Quori and heads for Not-Walter. A circle of dark energy surrounds him and clashes with the Quori's life force. The two cancel each other out, shattering the spell that bound him in a flash of light. Not-Walter's spirit rises out of his body, taking on a humaniod form. As Terra's chanting ends, the spirit is drawn into her.

Terra/Not-Walter: (in tandem) It is done...

After a moment, she heads over to a mirror to take a look at herself.

Terra: Well, that's interesting...

Several of her features have become decidedly more feral. Her fingernails have become more clawlike, and her teeth are now decidely more...fangy. The most striking difference was her eyes. Instead of the light green surrounded by white they were before, they were now deep yellow, and her pupils had turned vertical.

Terra: Seems I was in that body so long, I took on some of it's characteristics. Ah, well.

She spent a few minutes getting used to the new power flowing through her, casting a few low-level spells as practice. When she felt confident enough in her control, she smiled.

Terra: Maybe this is what Kithle felt like when he became half-mindflayer...

And now, a new - yet old - character...

Name: Terra
Race: Elf/unknown fusion
Class/level: Druid 11/Sorcerer 15/Psion 7
Alignment: NE

The fused form of Terra and Not-Walter. While she is now both, she insists at just being called Terra, since her's is the dominant portion of the new personality due to being the original inhabitant of their shared body. The fusion was not without cost, with both of them having to sacrifice several levels in order to do so, but the combined result is far more powerful than either of them alone. Not-Walter's old body remains, only now it is really *just* a Half-Farspawn Broodling Kython. It still follows Terra, but the difference is obvious.

It seems that, about a thousand years ago, 'Not-Walter' used to be the best Quori Mindhunter of his day. Eventually, the Quori managed to capture him and his companions. After stripping him of the Quori spirit he kept trapped, they sealed his spirit in the body of an abberation and murdered his friends before his eyes as punishment. The binding stripped him of all his Mindhunter abilities, and he was largely unable to access the rest. Because of these events, the most obvious difference in her new personality is a near-unbridled hatred of the Quori.

(Terra returns to the deck)

Sa'vor: (smiling) I see you were successful...

Kithle: :shocked: WTF happened to you!!!

Terra: Oh, you know...ancient rituals, sacrifices, fusing with the vengeful spirit of a man even the Quori used to fear...that kind of thing.

Chalky: HEY!! You stole my look!

Terra: Oh, that. That was unintended, but I got some pretty *****in bonuses out of it...
rampant

04-10-06, 04:26 AM		Satnak - We're here bloody rampage time guys.

Kithle - wait a second we need to...

Satnak leaps into the horrible melee diving straight through the dream beasts and tiwards the quori manifesting them her terrible arm passes through the flesh and spirits of the deadly beasts as if through air. The path of her lethal dance can be followed by the racing quori energies trying to catch up to their new home as the arm traps and binds them to satnak for all time. Her brutal, arrogant, and graceful pugilism leaves her opponents to shocked to respond properly. Her terrible eyes promise utter annihilation to all in her bloody path. Even the most ancient and terrible beats fall to her viscious punches and bone shattering kicks.

Kithle - never mind sometimes i forget she can do that.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-10-06, 09:25 AM		( Sa'vor stares around at the millions of nightmare creatures swarming over the deck, overwhelming many crew members. Sa'vor knew he could beat them, but to do so was to let the hunger take over him. sometimes there where benefits in being a cold blooded murderer. Sa'vor raised a hand to the sky and unleashed his will on it, the sky swirled around at his will, normal clouds turned pitch black. thunder rolled from them. A beam of black fire emitted from them and struck Sa'vor, the crew stopped seeing him wreathed in Black flame. Sa'vor turned his head to see a swarm of the nightmare creatures swarming up the deck to him. he raised his right palm equal to them, and let the fire flow from him. the fire consumed the nightmares, devouring their souls. Sa'vor called lightning from the sky, it struck the deck, whipeing out all the creatures. Sa'vor felt the exctasy of elemental power flowwing from him. but he let it go, already Sa'vor could feel the fatigue from wielding that much power. he fell to the deck, his breathing harsh and shallow)

Kithle: Sa'vor? what the hell happened just then?

Sa'vor: (Breakes into a Coughing fit) I summoned the storm, its elemental fury should protect us... but it drained most of my energy. i'll need to rest and meditate for a while.

Kithle: I think you'll need to see a mirror first

Sa'vor: why?

( Kithle removes a mirror from his pockets and hands it too sa'vor, before him Sa'vor see's his own face. but its changed, a black rune had formed above each of his eyebrows. his black hair had turned white, snow white. His skin had become like Alabaster. it was his eyes that scared him the most, they where completly colourless)
Sa'vor: The energy required must of drained much of my life-force, i'll have to rest longer than i thought, though my features will remain like this permenetly
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-10-06, 09:54 AM		Some Quori have managed to sneak below deck. They are walking down a featureless hallway.

Quori1: Man, these people are friken crazy! They aren't even disoriented by the whole "Your dreams can control your environment" thing.

Quori2: Never had that happen before. Do you suppose…

There is the sound of quick hammering behind them. They turn around to find that where once was a corridor is now…a corridor. Only all the wood grain is the wrong way around.

Quori2: Looks like some kind of pathetic mind trick.

Quori1: Truely. What do they think we are, ogres?

The two quori laugh meniacly together and turn back to the direction they were going.

Quori1: Um, were we going this way?

Quori2: WTF? Of course we were!……Why do you say that?

Quori1: Because I don't remeber the hall we were walking down looking like this.

Now the halls look exactly the same, except one has a door a bit further down on the left.

Quori2: See that door? We were headed for that door.

Quori1: Oh, yeah. I guess being a creature in a dimension where things change on a whim, I don't expect it to happen on a mortal ship.

Quori2: (whisper) Get yourself recycled. [Quori equivalent to "Go jump in a lake"] (louder) I'm soooooo glad our numbers don't correspond to our rank.

The Quori open the door. Just beyond it stands Klaz Dingbo in full "Dino Hunter" attire.

Klaz: Crikey! Would you look at that? (he says, gesturing to Jam, whose holding a crude box that resembles a camera) These here are the vicious Quori, mates. Born from pure evil, they're majorly psychic. They can drive you insane with just a thought. I'm going to try and approach one now. Remember, I'm a comPLETE idoit, so that means I'm a professional and you should not try this at home.

The Quori are transfixed by the box. They'd grin nervously if they had mouths.

Quori1: Are we on TV?

Quori2: Are my eyes placed randomly enough?

Klaz approaches. He goes into a great tirade about all the features of the quori bodies, pointing out the various bits from a safe distance, while the quori just stand there. He uses phrases like "Isn't he a beaty?", which puffs up the quoris' egoes.

Klaz: Okay. Now I'm going to try and touch them. Remember, do NOT try this at home.

Klaz slowly steps up the the quori—who are trying not to make fools of themselves and failing miserably—and pats them both quickly. Suddenly the quori vanish in a flash of light, leaving two small piles of ash, each with a marked piece of paper on top.

Jam: Great idea, Igor! But how'd you know it'd work?

Igor and Roosevelt step out from behind a false panal.

Igor: Thimple, really. I onth worked for an agent of the dreaming dark. It'th a quori practical joke.

Jam: But what's "TV"?

Igor: "TV" standth for "Telepathic Viewing". Quori get hooked on peopleth dreamth. The onth stuck on Eberron during the day tap back into Dal Quor and watth their comradth for a bit of fun. It'th gotten to be a big thing.

Klaz: That's just pathetic. Anybody wanna watch the Jarlot on the crystal ball?
Kaizer_Ryu

04-10-06, 10:58 AM		Sa'vor heads below deck, the storm he summoned still swirling about, protecting them from the hordes. Terra watches him, the fire in her eyes receeding, still cluching the disemboweled remnants of a Quori.

Terra: I don't know if I should thank him or hit him. I've been waiting so long for this...

She tosses the body overboard, then takes a look at her bloodsoaked hands. Around her, she notices several more enemy corpses, all torn apart with unneccesary malice.

Terra: Probably thank him. It seems the Kython's natural bloodlust has affected me more than I thought...
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-10-06, 11:29 AM		( Sa'vor is asleep on his bunk, still fully dressed, a bolt of lightning lances through the sky illuminating the dark room, Sa'vors eyes open instantly)
Sa'vor: greetings Igor

Igor: Greetingth Mathter

Sa'vor: I heard of some of your histroy, quite exelent work i must remark. You are quite the worker.

Igor: I try to pleathe

Sa'vor: Kithle already remarks on your exelnt work so far. your quite an addition to the crew. you exeede everyones expectations.

Igor: thome tea for you mathter.

Sa'vor: thank you Igor ( sits up, drinks the tea) How long was i asleep?

Igor: eight hourth, you where quite drained. the thtorm ith thtill here, cauthing untold amounts of dethtruction. i renember mathter Naz'roth calling a Tempetht just like thith, destroyed the legionth of Xull

Sa'vor: Yes, thats where i learned how. have they found Jarlot Igor?

Igor: Not yet, though we've almost pinned him down. We thhould thoon be able to retrive him

Sa'vor: exelent, i'd rather not stay here any longer. Brings back memories of my past visit... (shudders)

***
( In the Qouri HQ)
Supreme Qouri: So, Sa'vor has returned, exelent

Elder qouri: what do you whant us to do with him?

Supreme Qouri: Nothing, he is immune to our probeing and has disabled our trigger. we could retrive him by sending in Jarlot and his companions. they are most willing converts

Elder Qouri: indeed
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-10-06, 02:32 PM		OOC: Lord Kale Fangblade? Just one thing about Igor: he probably shouldn't call anyone besides Jarlot "mathter". It gets confusing as to who the true cause of all the madness is. Other than that, nice work on creating a past master reference. :D

IC:
The guys of the Lesser-Used are having a card game when Lucky walks in. As usual for this crew they decide to see if they can get her into the sack.

Vrin: Hello my beauty. Perhaps you'd love to join such gentlemen as ourselves?

Lucky: I already know who you are. Give it a rest.

But they keep up, except for Long Wang, who has suddenly had a thought.

Long Wang: Lucky comrade, were you not a man when you came aboard this ship?

Lucky grins in an evil way, pulling her cloak back to reveal a Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity. The guys take one look at each other, then sprint from the room.

Lucky sits down at the now empty table, but is soon joined by a ninja Jaela.

Ninja Jaela: Truely?

Lucky: Yup. My nickname was originally a insult about my success with women…so I decided to try life as one and see if it could improve me.

Ninja Jaela: And has it?

Lucky: Mm-hm. I get more women this way…. :D
urial angel of death

04-10-06, 04:40 PM		Volrath is sitting in the fetal position, in a pocket plane whose only entrance is in his room. He is guarded by the thousands of uberations that are still in his army. ( He only expended a fraction of his forces in the battle. Volrath always keeps a lot of everything in reserve, just in case one of his old friends or relatives come to visit.)
Volrath : He wouldn't hurt me we're family.
Volrath : That hasn't stopped him before. Our best chance for survival is to just sit here quietly until the ship finds a way back to the prime.
Volrath : What if we call in a favor from a friend to defend us?
Volrath : No one would answer. None of them want Hast...
Volrath (interrupting) : Don't say his name. It will give away our location.
Volrath : Thanks, what I was saying is that none of our friends want to see him, freed, and they will assume that any call from this plane is him.

Volrath continues rocking back and forth, petting his bunny, and wishing Terra or his mother were there to comfort him. He then quickly banishes the thought of his mother, knowing that it is impossible and that to linger on the thought of any one related to "He who must not be Named" even if only through marriage could attract his attention.

OOC: I just realized that Harry Potter stole the whole "He who must no be named" bit from Lovecraft. Anyways for those of you who haven't read Lovecraft books, and thus didn't get the refrence, know that I am not refrencing Harry Potter. Also if you haven't read Lovecraft's books start reading them they are the origin of a lot of D&D aberrations.
Rei32491

04-10-06, 06:21 PM		Nalfein is walking around the ship when he hears Norbaz shouting for help. So Nalfein runs to the kitchen and sees Norbaz combating the chili.

Nalfein: Wow, never seen that before.

Norbaz: DON'T JUST STAND THEIR, HELP ME!!!

Nalfein considers the chili for a second then pulls out his spellbook.

Nalfein: (holding a fireball) EAT FIRE PUNK!!! (Throws it at the chili) :mage:

Norbaz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! :eek:

The fireball hits the chili and flames start coming out of the chili makeing it more powerful then before, then starts to come after Nalfein.

Nalfein: Oh, oh s***.

Nalfein quickly flips through his spellbook to find a good spell to hit the chili with.

Chili: Thank you, NOW YOU DIE!!!

Nalfein: (he :thinks: :lightbulb) CONE OF COLD BI***!!!

The chili is to slow to react and is frozen solid by the blast.

Norbaz: You didn't have to do that!

Nalfein: It was going to kill us!

Norbaz: Yes, but still...

Satnak: (walks in and sees the frozen chili) MY CHILI!!! YOU ARE DEAD !!! (points at Nalfein) :mad:

Nalfein: OH CRAP!!!

He starts to run, but Satnak grabs his robes and pulls him back.

Satnak: You will fix the chili or else. *UBERGLARE*

Nalfein: (wimper) Ok, if you want I can make it much better then before.

Satnak: ... If you do, I will let you off the hook.

Nalfein: Ok ok, just put me down. (after he is on the ground safely) You might want to stand back for this.

Norbaz and Satnak step back, Norbaz is worried about the rest of his kitchen and Satnak is watching closely.

Nalfein pulls out a scroll of eruption that was spellshaped so that its area of effect would cover 1 five foot square.

Nalfein: First FIREBALL, (The ice melts and the chili starts to advanced toward Nalfein)

Chili: I'm going to shove chili so far up your ***.

Nalfein: ERUPTION!!!

The Chili explodes in flames, then falls back into its barrel and stops moving.

Satnak: MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE MINEMINE!!!!!

Runs to the barrel and starts eating the chili.

Satnak: Ok, from now on you (points at Nalfein) will do this to all of my chili.

Nalfein: But that was my only Eruption scroll that had that range. Now if I could get a schema of eruption...

Satnak: I'll get it for you.

Nalfein: Good, now while we are on the topic, can you get me some more schemas?

Satnak: That depends on how you act to me.

Norbaz: Oh god...
Kaizer_Ryu

04-10-06, 09:00 PM		Terra stands on deck, watching the storm with a combination of relief and anxiety. Another storm rages, this one in her head. Ever since the ritual, she had felt...off. The cry for blood ate at her constantly, and every time she killed, it only intensified. So many things simply didn't fit. Her appearence for one. Nowhere in any tomes she could find, even among Volrath's, was there any reference to this happening. The simple fact that she could now fight bare handed so well was especially worrisome. Neither of her former selves had ever been proficient at it. The bloodlust she felt was far beyond any Kython she had ever encountered. Had she missed a step? Had something happened that she couldn't see?

Terra: (to herself) Could it even be possible...?
rampant

04-10-06, 11:46 PM		Kithle - What have told you quori ametuers about messing with my home? Satnak get back to work on those punks.

Satnak - Fiiiiiiiine chili's done anyway.

Kithle - toss the caiptain and any other crew towards the ship John will catch em.

John - but the spikes

Kithle - consider your impressive array vs a quori's torture

John - k

Kithle - Kanatash Go with her for the intitial assault and guide the tossed to john, also if you find an interesting quori send it back for me I haven't eaten brains in a while.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-11-06, 12:04 AM		Meditating of deck, Terra has been searching her mind, trying to find the source of the unknowns that have appeared. She can feel it…something malicious lurking just outside of her consciousness.

(the following takes place in her head)

Terra: I know you’re there! Show yourself!

???: You’d like me to do that, wouldn’t you?

Terra: How did you get in here?! What are you doing to me?!

???: You’ll learn, soon enough.

Terra: I will find you. You can’t avoid me forever.

???: And what will you do then? You can’t expel me…

The Quori appears behind her in her minds eye.

Quori: Time to say goodnight…

(ten minutes later)

Terra enters the Captain’s office, currently occupied by Kithle.

Kithle: Can I help you?

Terra: There is a matter of grave importance we need to discuss...

She seems to be behaving differently than before, and her mannerisms are odd. Kithle stands, but otherwise remains where he is.

Terra: What’s the matter?

???: (In Kithle’s head) Don’t buy it, Kithle!

Kithle: (in his head) Terra?

Terra: (in his head) Yes! What you see before you is not me. It is my body, but not my mind. Get Satnak back here as fast as possible, but try not to alert it. I’ll do what I can from in here, but you’ll need to fend it off. If you must kill me to do so, then so be it.

Terra?: I know my transformation is a bit unnerving, but you’re being rude…

Kithle: What do you want, demon?

The Quori raises its eyebrow in slight surprise.

Quori: Heh, whether you know or not doesn’t matter. You’re life is mine!

With this, the possessed Terra sends a barrage of arcane energy at Kithle, which he easily deflects. Extending her claws, she strikes at him repeatedly, pursuing him about the room. The furniture is up-ended, and she leaves several large gouges in the walls as she misses.

Quori: (in her head) Damn you, woman! Why must you styme my efforts?!

Terra: (in her head) I would rather die than be a slave to you foul creatures! I will see to it that you go down, even if I have to take you with me to do it!

Kithle can feel the struggle for control raging inside her, hoping to himself that Satnak arrives soon. Terra’s skills were too valuable to just destroy. Besides, with her newfound power, it would be a bit of a challenge to defeat her if the Quori gained full control.

Quori: Face me, you coward!

At this, the door bursts open and Satnak steps in.

Satnak: Bloody mol, you make a lot of noise. Time to zorlch me another Quori!

The Quori, now trapped between the two of them, growls menacingly at Satnak and her arm.

Quori: (in her head) This is your fault! How do you fight me? I rule your mind!

Terra: (in her head) Only part of it. You jumped the gun on possessing me…

Quori: I WILL NOT FAIL! FOR THE DREAMING DARK!

When the Quori turns to strike at Kithle, a barrage of magical energy hits it dead on. Caught off guard, it is forced out of Terra’s body. As she crumples to the ground, Satnak moves in.

Satnak: *ULTRAMEGAZORLCH*

(about an hour later)

Terra: Ugh…

Kithle: Ah, you’re awake.

Terra: (sitting up, holding her head) Man, getting possessed is almost as bad as getting liquid keelhauled…

She appears back to normal. The only change now apparent is that her eyes are still yellow, but this time only the irises.

Kithle: You wanna tell me what happened?

Terra: I was foolish. During the ritual, we had to lower our defenses for a moment to complete the fusion. I had sealed the room, but one was already inside…

Kithle: The sacrifice?

Terra: Yeah. He somehow managed to retain enough strength to cling onto Not-Walter’s spirit during the fusion.

Kithle: You know where we are. Why the Khyber would you try something like that?

Terra: I had little choice. Coming here pretty much forced my hand. It was either 1.) Not perform the ritual and be a sitting duck, a suicidal choice if they discovered who Not-Walter was, or 2.) Perform it here and risk being possessed, not much more appealing. I had hoped to do this from the prime, but I was a step behind them once again…. By the way, who hit me?

Kithle: Oh, I contacted Sa’vor right after Satnak. He appeared just as you were about to try and kill me again. But…something bothers me. How did you still have free will if it was in control?

Terra: The full fusion will take a few days to complete. I currently have three separate personalities, parts of my originals and the new one. It had only taken control of the new one, leaving me with the opportunity to warn you without really alerting it.

Kithle: That was quite fortunate.... I should tell you, while you were out I had a little peek around in your mind. I must say, you’ve led an interesting life. One little tidbit you’ve been keeping from us has sparked my interest…

Terra: I kind ’a figured you wouldn’t be able to resist. I’ll tell you what, once we’re out of here, I’ll show you around there a bit.

Kithle: I’m looking forward to it. Ready to go Quori hunting?

Terra: :devil: With extreme prejudice...
rampant

04-11-06, 12:33 AM		Kithle - Well the caiptain is back in bed. Lets play one of my favorite games. Hey guys if you do it to a quori it doesn't count against the list.

Crew - laughs manaicaly

Quori - awwwwwwwww ****

Kanatash - Dear lords who gave you that authority.

Kithle - Feh the caps asleep and drunk, and no one will dare rat me out because they were all participating. Besides I'm a bastard remember.

Kantash - I never forget that. Oh heres a nice specimen its a Shadow magic user.

Kithle - interesting

Kantash - Unfortunatly ist got this little circlet of fire shield i have been unable to neutralize.

Kithle - I knew i kept this around for more than ***** and giggles, (takes out longe range brainsucker from the time the crew got captured, you know when he got magic immunity) *Shchlorpshclarak* interesting a distinct umbral feeling with a creative base, and a mysterious aftertaste.

Kantash - its a brain not a 500 year old wine.

Kithle - what do you expect? I'm half-flayer.

Quori cries of agony begin to rise as the crew starts remembering some of the interesting things they aren't normally allowed to do, putting these psychos in a dream realm is just plain wrong.

Kithle - Terra get back to work on the mess in the engine room, when you find pholly/ie keelhaul them.

Terra - (sarcastic) aye capn

Kantash - yes... who died and made you Jarlot?

Kithle - Don't tempt me, It might be nice to be captain for a few days. After that I'd be driven to drink just like jarlot and my system can't handle that kind of poison intake. Why do you think I obsess over picking my fights despite my powers, I am still no where near as invulnerable as the other members of this little group, I'm just smarter. *telepathically* oh volrath if you keep behaving I'll get your rabbit a self cleaning litter tray. I've made arrangements with Allen, he's still in hot water with satnak from messing with norbaz. *end telepathy* I love this ship.
Charles Phipps

04-11-06, 12:43 AM		OOC: And strangely, a largely serious post. Thanks to Berserk for the inspiration.

Jarlot: So this is the Tomb of the Dreaming Dark itself.

Aerith: YESSssssssssssssssss.

Jarlot: And you're the manifestation of the Dreaming Dark itself I take it?

Aerith: YEssssssssssssssss.

Jarlot: The hissing is very atmospheric I must confess.

Aerith: I am the collected sum of all human will. I am the Idea. The desired God. The Idea of Evil.

Jarlot: That explains alot about our relationship.

Aerith: An ocean of feelings. All humans have, deep in their souls. A common consciousness that transcends individuality. Their collective consciousness as a species. Its dark side is this swelling ocean. I was born from these swells as the ego of this world. This world itself is I. The darkness that dwells in every human heart. The Idea of Evil. This is the God. The God of the Quori. The God of Humans. The Dreaming Dark.

Jarlot: The Divine? This is your idea of being God? This HELL?

Aerith: This is just the surface of the multiple layers of the whole consciousness. But you know you know that this place is terribly human. Violence and loneliness...This place is filled with all kinds of blurred negative feelings
It is truly the will that defines human nature.

Jarlot: You claim to have created me? You just got through saying humans made you.

Aerith: I have willed human nature and pushed it as I was molded to produce you Jarlot so that you could come to this place. Humans desired reasons. Reasons for pain. Reasons for sadness. Reasons for life. Reasons for death. Why were their lives filled with suffering? Why were their deaths absurd. They wanted reasons for the destiny that kept transcending their knowledge

Jarlot: And that was you....

Aerith: And I produce those As it is what I've been brought to existence for I control destiny. Obeying to the essence of human kind I weave every man's destiny. It was established that you would be here since a distant past
By influencing the lower levels of human consciousness and merging blood with blood, I created the lineage that would give birth to the man you are. To pave the way for the times you would be born in, I maniplulated History
and created an appropriate context for you All the encounters you have made so far were a part of the destiny that led you here as well.

Jarlot: And who says that the divine doesn't have a sense of humor.

Aerith: Man desires a god to rule it. However, he desires this god to indulge his baser and evil natures. He wants the universe to bow to his wishes rather than submit himself yet refuses to take responsibility for the ruling of the universe he'd claim. You are the answer to their prayers. You will not rule them with conquest of arms or theology but through indulgence of their baser natures. You understand that people desire to be cruel, petty, and vile yet also to be fun. You will be my Chosen One and then at last....the Age of Darkness will be eternal for man will want it that way.

Jarlot: And I get to be your slave....

Aerith: I dwell deep in your heart, I am a part of you. You are a part of your kind's consciousness, a part of me
Your desire is my desire as well. Your actions themselves shall prove to be suitable for your kind as a whole. May they bring pain or salvation to the men. Do as you will Chosen One and be as you desire. The Quori will obey you and ultimate power is yours to command. But worship me and I will make you a god.

Jarlot: I want....more.

Aerith: I will join with the body of your beloved to become one with her. She is an Inspired. The daughter of a Reidran scientist with a goddess. She will be yours as I am your slave and we shall be as one. Our marriage shall herald the arrival of mankind as the Old Ones.

Jarlot: You...aren't just the human spirit. You're....Khyber?

Aerith: Xoriat, the Quori, The Lords of Dust, the murderer in the alley...what are they all but shades of the greater darkness that is me? The human heart provided me a vessel to enter

Jarlot: And it'll happen just like that? Aerith my bride, the world as my own, and Hell spewing forth as mine.

Aerith: I have only one worthy of me. Dhakaani was destroyed to make ready the rise of humans so you could live Jarlot. The holy line of Galifar devastated so that its offspring could be raised in a filthy back alley since your namesake was not QUITE right

Jarlot: And my crew?

Aerith: Already, Bruce Ki and Jacob Hunter have died. V has been speared by my warriors. One by one...they die. They are the sacrifice for your ascension. Proof of your allegiance to me. The Quori are reborn every time one of them perishes. It is a hopeless fight for your mortal shells. Even the abberations are being annihilated as they cannot hide from my eternal sight. Give into the ectasy of your dream my love. I have an eternity to know your flesh.

Jarlot: Later.

Aerith: :blink:

Jarlot: I don't need you to rule the world. I don't need some cheap immitation of a woman either, let alone a tentacled THING inhabiting her body. You want to kill my crew....you go through me.

Aerith: IMPUDENT....

*Jarlot lifted his repeating crossbow and shot the Aerith-thing in the face repeatedly with the divine bolts*

Aerith: I CANNOT BE DESTROYED! I CANNOT BE DEFEATED! I AM ETERNAL!

Jarlot: You don't have to be. I can just stand up to you and for one brief shining momment. Show that people like you self-proclaimed gods....you don't OWN us.
Charles Phipps

04-11-06, 12:50 AM		OOC:

Mmmmm I wonder if that takes place while Jarlot is dreaming or whether it was set before the previous post.

:-)
Kaizer_Ryu

04-11-06, 12:58 AM		Mmmmm I wonder if that takes place while Jarlot is dreaming or whether it was set before the previous post.

:-)

Regardless, that's the first time I've heard human nature described that way. Very deep. :thumbsup:
Phantomcrossing

04-11-06, 01:08 AM		Norbaz falls back, injured from the front line against the Quori. Despite the dire nature his heart was no where near this battle. The last of his miniscual psionic abilities spent and his spells used up. The half giant grips his hammer one last time, hoping there could be an end to this onslaught.

He tries to drag the body of a felled crewmember with him, he can't quite tell who. More and more of the creatures swarm, begin penetrating the ship's defenses. As certain as he was that he would be die he was certain this was a fools errand. Doubt had wracked his mind since his encounter with Aerith...and that was enough to shake this cook's confidence. With a quick feint he managed to slam the blunt object against a Quori's skull, catching it unaware...he knew he couldn't hold out much longer, he looked around and saw the same could be said of many of the others. Those that could last were in for a hell of a cleanup if the ship ever made it back to prime.
Charles Phipps

04-11-06, 01:16 AM		OOC: Thanks.

Jarlot's adding his own description of human nature. That their inability to be satisfied is also the driving force of seeking out challenges.

He was quite out cold at that point also and dreaming in the Dreamlands.

IC:

The Quori hundreds of their number destroyed in the battle against the Forgotten Freedom even as they simply....shuddered. A crack, a nasty hiss, and a painful scream echoing through them that stunned them all for a short time.
urial angel of death

04-11-06, 07:13 AM		Volrath couldn't even hear Kithle as his mind was assaulted by wave after wave of psionic energy. Hastur had found him!
Volrath : Get out, get out!
Hastur (in Volrath's head) : You'll wish I was only torturing your mind when I get to your ship.
Volrath (to his aberrations) : He's coming! Get on deck stall him for as long as possible and kill any quori you see.

With that the aberrations run up to the decks and relieve the exhausted crew. Their relief is short lived. Byahkees by the hundreds decend onto the ship.

Volrath : Allen, hurry up!
Allen : what do you think I'm trying to do!
At that moment a giant scorpian tail shoots trough Volrath's back and out his chest.

As he dies his life begins flashing before his eyes. As a child, the Thranish inquisition storming his house with pitchforks and torches. His mother pleading that she be take, but her children spared. Her wails of pain echoing from the inquitioners' torture chambers. His sister, hated for her albino skin, beaten daily by the townspeople. No one cared if any atocrocy happened to her, her attackers might even be praised for their deeds. He remebered his stay at Sigil Prep. All those years trying to acumulate enough power to get revenge on those that had tortured him and his family. Then he remebers when he met Muridin, Gar, Urial, amd Terra. For the first time sense the inquisition, he felt that he belonged. Just as these happy memories fade from his eyes he waits up in Mickey's emergency room, his wounds being tended to.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-11-06, 04:57 PM		( Sa'vor lies asleep, renembering his years in the torture chambers of the Qouri. everyso often his body shakes with a spasm of pain. his face is contorted in a grimace. he renembers the branding irons, the thumb screws, the Scaples, having his skin flayed from his body and then he renembers the mind games and the horrible horrible blinding pain that consumed him mind and soul. then he renembers the other tortures, the infernal battle fields where he slaughtered angel, demon and devil alike to stay alive. he renembers the smell of blood clinging to his hands and body. its metalic taste. the pure joy of combat. He then thinks back to more pain, this time in Xoriat, yet more torture and twisting his very form and soul. he delves back even futher to the death of his mother, her draconic blood bapatising him as he lay unconsious from the adventurers attack. he renembered the other children in the village nearby bullying and beating him for his strange appearence. the Hatred on his elven ancestors faces, thier taunts of "Half-blood", "cripple" , "weak", "abomination". his cousins face swims into view, a sneer on his face as he raises a red hot poker.

Dra'vos: this will only hurt for a second!

the words boom through Sa'vors mind as he renembers the pure agony in his right sholder, he renembers somthing in his mind snapped. that killer instinct that was hold at bay for so long. gone. he renembers tearing the heart from his cousins chest. he renembers its sweet taste and the wonderful taste of his cousins blood. time fast forwards to the Last war, when Naz'roth was within his mind, the massed battles, the slaughter, wielding the arcane power of the warlock to blast soldiers into shattered corpses. he renembers lying prone and almost dead after the Day of Mourning. kept alive by Naz'roths power, then came the old man, how he'd been driven insane in that time. the man who'd nursed him to health only to have his throat slit as he slept. the pure joy of being able to kill again. and hunting down those adventures when they where now old. killing them and thier families, burning down thier homes. the sweet smell of burnt flesh. the urge to drink blood took over Sa'vor again, he awoke)

(Sa'vor transforms into a swarm of undead scorpions and crawls through the pipes to the lower decks, he see's a new redshirt completing his initiation right.... surving a night in the lower decks. not an easy task. now made so much harder. the swarm formes into Sa'vor, whom melds into the shadows. he creates the aura of fear that grippes the Redshirts form, his heart beats faster and faster as he turns this way and that to aviod see whats causing the feeling of dread. his lantern held high and his crossbow loaded he calls out)
Victim: hello? who's there?

( Sa'vor appears from the Shadows, the red shirt fires. the bolt hits Sa'vor in the stomach)
Sa'vor: (Looks down) Good shot, though it appears to be completly ineffective. ( Vanishes again)

Victim: where did you go?
( Sa'vor grabbes him from behind and drains his blood quickly and efficently, he then coughs slightly)
Sa'vor: Damn, blood wine. how annoying. thats going to give me indegestion.

Slip: (appearing from the shadows) was it really neccesary to take so damn long to eat him?

Sa'vor: the fear makes the blood taste nicer. anyway, sometimes its better to take a while to scare them. then the redshirts try harder and harder to aviod me and it makes it all the more fun for me.

Slip: seems to old fashioned to me. should of broke his neck

Sa'vor: true, though i prefer it to be living when i feed.
Charles Phipps

04-11-06, 05:16 PM		Ketler: Remind me why we travel with folk like Sav'or again?

Slip: The redshirt he killed was a serial murderer/rapist who ate kittens in his spare time.

Ketler: Ah.

Slip: The Captain is Chaotic Good recall.

Ketler: I thought we didn't know about alignments in Eberron.

Slip: That's always debatable.

Ketler: Ah.

Slip: It's always important to remember that anyone who is onboard this ship isn't exactly what you'd call the most competent of evil out there. It's why a lot of folk actually taking them seriously onboard this ship only makes themselves the subject of ridicule. For example, a guy has a massive army able to take over the world....and he still lives on a malfunctioning pirate ship where's he's not in command.

Ketler: That explains a lot.

Slip: Yes, the Captain has a tendency to toss the people whom do join the crew and take themselves seriously AND ARE serious into volcanoes.

Ketler: That may not work with some.

Slip: Well we're going back to the Prime to get Jacob and Bruce ressurected by Aerith, which we won't do for Red shirt X. Yet we might do it for Kanatash who is possibly the person whom might sing the song that ends the world or Terra just because the Captain thinks she's cute and cheers up the place despite liking the ladies. So it's not a purely accurate system.

Ketler: What would happen if one of the genuine nasties on the crew harmed one of our nonevil members like Marish or traumatized her?

Slip: You know the huge waste we've lain up here?

Ketler: Yeah?

Slip: Imagine that times a billion.

Ketler: I've been onboard this ship for years, the Captains just a hopeless drunk.

Slip: But inventive. Remember what happened to Roar whom actually tried to commit certain acts the Captain disapproves of because his mothers a wharf *****?

Ketler: I thought the Captain was Lyrander...or Seren....

Slip: His player changes his background every session but recall?

Ketler: He just went missing.

Slip: He was turned into a giant spider and then geased into a dungeon where the crew hunted him for fun and prizes.

Ketler: And yet giving Pholly to Michael Jackson was okay.

slip: Oh, he just hates Pholly.
Rei32491

04-11-06, 08:01 PM		OOC: I hope you guys like this. :D

Because Volrath's army of aberations don't function well in groups, the majority of the group have been divied up between some of the rested crew. Nalfein is commanding the Beholders, Vrin is commanding the Grells, Chalky is commanding the Deepones, Satnak is using the Hellfire Wyrm as a mount, Muradin is commanding the Umber hulks, and the rest of the aberrations are commanded by Kanatash.

Kanatash: Ok, now if we do this right, we should be able to kill them all -

Satnak: Wait, why is it that Muradin is controling the umber hulks?

Nalfein: Well he speaks their language.

They look over at Muradin, and he is actually speaking the umber hulks language.

Kanatash: I think we should just not ask.

Satnak: Ok, lets go over the plan, first Kanatash and his aberrations will attack them head on. While they are distracted, Vrin will have his Grells hit them with their lightning lances and strike them to the ground. After they break through Kanatash's lines and go after the Grells, Muradin and his umber hulks will run at them while the umber hulks cast confusion at the enemy, I will provide coverfire with my Wyrm. Then when they get to the umber hulks, Chalky and his deepones will hit them from the sides, distrating them long enough for Kanatash to circle in from behind and block off their escape route, then Nalfein will come in with his beholders and hit them from behind our lines. Oh, Chalky and Nalfein will also keep an eye out for enemy reinforcments. Everyone got it?

Others: Yes.

Just then they feel the ship shake as the enemy comes aboard.

Satnak: ... NOW!

The battle rages as they put their plan into action. Everything in the plan goes smoothly untill one spawn of hastur (S.O.H) appears.

Everyone: OH ****!

Satnak: (she yells at Chalky and Muradin) YOU STAY HERE TO KILL THE REST OF THESE GUYS. (yells at others) COME WITH ME TO KILL THE SPAWN OF HASTUR!

The army splits and they excute the new plans, Chalky and Muradin are useing their forces to kill the rest of the byakhees (having a much harder time), while the rest of them rush the spawn of hastur. Nalfein has his beholders cast a anti-magic field around the S.O.H, Kanatash has his many aberrations try to hold him to hold him down for Satnak, but they are not doing so well, and are infact dieing very fast.

Satnak: (taking aim) Dammit, stop moveing. - Almost got it.

She fires at it, the S.O.H sees the blast and tries to dodge, but Kanatash manages to blast it back into the path of the beam. The beam connects and the S.O.H tries to summon help but is sucked into the arm before it can.

Kanatash: Damn straght.

They look back in time to see Muradin and Chalky killing off the rest of the byakhees.

Satnak: Lets hope that no more come, because of our diminished forces, another would kick our sorry ***es.

Volrath walks on deck with some bandages over his wound.

Volrath: (sees his aberrations) :bigeyes: NOOOOOOOOOOO! MY BABIES!!!!!!

Nalfein: Those aberrations saved our lives.

Volrath: :weep: My poor babies.

Satnak: We need the captain to wake up so we can get out of here.

Chalky: Yes, but what about the mess.

Kanatash: We'll take any useful parts of the dead bodies and throw the rest of them off board.

Others: Right.
rampant

04-11-06, 09:08 PM		Kithle - Dammit!!! I hate Quori. Almost as bad as the freaking Full-flayers. We don't have time for this. *GATE* Slip take us through the gate everyone else get on the ship and slaughter any quori who get too close. Satnak Get everyone back on board gat back here. John BTN as sson as everyone else is on board.

Satnak - Ok *toss* *dive*

John - For once I don't mind
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

...wow

Kithle - Don't frack with me on a mentaly modifiable plane you pricks. I will always win. I'm smarter than the Dragons you putzers. *Finger*

The FF floats slowyly through the gate persued by the damaged and reduced quori as Satnak and john dissapear behind the veil the gate closes slicing several of the persuers in half. As the battle haze wears off the qouri shudder as they realize any felled by that Murderous woman with the arm aren't coming back.


As the FF reapears on the prime the world sighs, it was too good to last.

Aboard the FF crews are busy cleaning up and patching together what can be rescued or raised and sort what cant.

Ketler - My cloning machine is shot. Funny thing is it looks like it was done witha a Ninja-to not a quori.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-11-06, 09:22 PM		OOC: rampant beat me to it, so just assume this is before the above...

BIC:

Allen and Ketler work furiously to repair the engine. The Quori have been manifesting monsters inside the room in an attempt to stop them from leaving, but Terra has been fending them off.

Terra: (blasts another one into oblivion) You guys about done?!

Allen: A little while longer!

Ketler: The chili did more damage than we thought!

Terra: (send several flying) There's no end to these things. I can't leave them to get to the source, but unless I do, I'll exhaust myself sooner or later....

Another psionic barrage turns three of them inside out, giving her a moment to consider her options.

Terra: How to get to them... If I strike blindly, I just waste energy. I need a way to find them through all this chaotic energy... :lightbulb Oh ho HO...I haven't used that one in a while... :devil:

The next one approaches, but instead of attacking with her magic, she rushes it. Dodging it's claws, she plunges her hand into it's seudoetherial form. The monster convulses in pain, but the screams come from somewhere outside the ship.

Terra: A present from me... :evillaugh

Allen: What the hell did you do?!!!

Terra: The Quori need to maintain a link to anything they create. I learned long ago how to send an attack along that trail and right past their defences.

Ketler: Nice...

Terra: Thanks. Now stop talking and hurry up!!!

Allen & Ketler: :eek: Yes Ma'am!
Charles Phipps

04-11-06, 10:13 PM		OOC:

Aside from the constant attempts to get back to the Prime by everyone (which somewhat dragged down the narrative), I thought that was one of our better ones.

I hope we can do a whole new cycle of rules from this one.

So what are your favorite scenes from that adventure? Let's take a brief break from adventuring to talk about our wonderful creation.

In addition to High Points from that story, also list your favorite plots from previous games and any suggestions for making the storylines more fun.

(More Kanatash! More humor! more serious! Less serious)

That sort of thing but a tad more detail. It's become practically a play by post here and I'm very proud of this little thread.
turalisj

04-11-06, 10:15 PM		Ok....
*clears throat*
MORE MINDBOLDS!!!!
:D

C'mon, am I the only one liking the idea of a mindbold crew member?
Charles Phipps

04-11-06, 10:20 PM		Ok....
*clears throat*
MORE MINDBOLDS!!!!
:D

C'mon, am I the only one liking the idea of a mindbold crew member?

Yes.

:-)
JakeQuistis

04-11-06, 10:45 PM		Personally, I like it when the crew members aren't fighting against each other or plotting against each other but are fighting against other things. Although the above is now sorta part of the crew, that the higher power level characters keep the other high power level characters in check through various means. And I want more Allen, because he's my character. I've been thinking about some plot ideas for him. But it seems that Kanatash is the most popular character.
rampant

04-11-06, 10:54 PM		Frankly I'd like to see more interaction between crew that isn't necesarily about plotting, maybe some more of the old chalky paints erk yellow, pholly blows up something important, john whines about keel hauling him you know some classic FF action with some of the newbies (silence, vrin, roosevelt, etc.). Maybe something involving Terra and her crush on Lisa.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-11-06, 10:59 PM		I'd say one of my favorite parts had to be Kanatash II/Smith. It just cracked me up for some reason.
I also agree with JakeQuistis, this thread needs more cowbe-, uh, I mean Allen. :D
Of course, I loved beating Michael into the ground, plus the battle against the uberations was very well done.
And, my favorite post -

Kithle: "Hey guys if you do it to a quori it doesn't count against the list."
etc...

Absolutely classic, rampant.

I have conflicting emotions about Aerith. *snicker* Belldandy *snicker* Nice reference to Oh my Goddess (unless I'm mistaken). I loved her in FF7, so why does my character have to hate her? WHY?! :weep:

Oh, and I'm working on the whole Lisa issue. So much was going on, I ran out of time. Look for more in the next few days.
Charles Phipps

04-11-06, 11:16 PM		Yes, actually, Aerith is a combination of Aeris and Belldandy all right.

Personally, for me, Aerith is part of my attempt to add some ridiculous good to the ridiculous evil onboard the Pirate ship. Lisa felt like she was getting awfully lonely and frankly there wasn't really much in the way of success with Bruce Ki or Michael honestly.

;-)

And if Jarlots good I'm the King of Sommerset.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-11-06, 11:32 PM		The People of Para-Elemental Plane of Ale.

Booze Elemental: NOOOOO! WE'RE BEING DRUNK DRYYYYYYY!

I almost forgot about this one. I laughed so hard I nearly cried.
urial angel of death

04-12-06, 06:48 AM		Their all so good how could I choose one. :(

Also Kaiser Ryu you need to move forward with the whole Lisa thing.
Charles Phipps

04-12-06, 07:10 AM		I did like Michael and Lisa honestly and think in some weird way they were soulmates.

A crappy blackguard and an awful paladine.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-12-06, 08:13 AM		My favorites were way back when the list was making all those pop-culture references: "No, the Lord of Blades does not have a scheming sidekick named Starscream" or something to that effect. We should keep those up. I've got a few (it's been so long that I can't number them):
????: No, the Gatekeepers do not run around in shaders and dark suits, using a flashing wand to erase our memories of the fact that abberrations live among us as normal people.
????: Despite what Kithle claims.
????: No, a race of gliding half-dragons that turn to stone during the day does not live in Sharn and protect the people.
????: Even if they did, they would not have a friend on the watch who is a hot female half-drow inquisative.

I really plan to try and write a side adventure for the lesser-used crew. There is probably untapped potential in them.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-12-06, 12:03 PM		In reality i prefer it when the crew work together against somthing or towards some goal ( however grudeingly) rather than bickering and fighting amungst themselves like children. i have no plans, really i just write whatever ideas i suddenly have in a flash of inspiration.

though i think the crew should become less serious again. their best stuff is always done then.

maybe we could write another bank robery.....
rampant

04-12-06, 12:57 PM		The Repairs are completed and life returns to normal on the FF.

Chalky - I'm Bored. Lets play Haz'rack.

Smig - I'm in.

Chalky - Okay We'll be captains since most of these guys probably don't know much about the game. Lets get the crew round up.

a few minutes later

Chalky - Okay guys here's how it works, at each end of the boat there is a totem, Wolf and skunk in this case. Each team of seven attempts to get the other teams totem to their goal while keeping their own totem out of enemy hands. No metal or wooden weapons are allowed. Unarmed and natural attacks only.

Smig - Normally magic/psi/infusions/meldshaping/binding isn't allowed, but since we know you guys will cheat we decided to alter the rules abit. No targeting the totems, no telekineses, teleportation, or sommoning of monsters. No dominating players on the other team. No minions. No impassible barriers, nothing that requires flight or teleportation to bypass. Using special effects to enhance your self is allowed especially to give your self a natural attack or 3.

Chalky - No ubers, no offense guys, but you warp the rules of reality itself.

Sa'vor - none taken though it would be nice to beat up crew members in broad daylight with sanctioning.

Kithle - Kill pholly

Smig - Moving on Each team is made of seven players tradtionaly: 4 runners or the primary offensive line who focus on getting the other teams totem. 3 defenders who gaurd their teams totem.

Chalky - The whole ship is open field as is a sphere of air aproxametly 200 yards around the ship. The ubers are in charge of refing and will be enforcing the rules as they see fit. The players will wear these tokens, anytime a player breaks a minor rule like out of bounds you will be shocked and slammed against the hull. A major infraction such as raising a wall of force or teleporting a totem, will fail result in viscious shocking , and you will be swapped out in exchange for someone on your team's reserve list. Plus anythong the refs decide to do to you. In addition the tokens allow any active players to communicate with each other as well as the team captains (me or smig).

Smig - the reserve list is made up of any elligible crew who don't make the first team. The tokens will mark which team your on. Inactive players may interfere, set traps and such, but the rules that protect active players don't apply to them. Any illegal spells on them will be dismissed by the tokens if they are put into play. A player who is disqualified losses all rights to interfere and better worry becauseuse the redshirts will be armed and noteified of your hide for the rest of the weak. A player may also place themself in the reserve list at any time if they are tired or under the effects of some negative influence, be warned you may not get a second chance to play though and you can't switch if you have the totem.

Chalky - Here is the sign up. If too many people sign up for one team the people on the bottom of the list will be moved to the other side. Redshirts are allowed to sign up. (chance for new Characters to be promoted out of the RS ranks) Mindless creatures need not apply. The game begins tommorow at dawn. These games can last a while.

players for chalky's team Players for smig's team










Reserve for Chalky Reserve for Smig









<<ooc>>
Lets get the teams divided up before the games begin. I don't wont one side to get all the stealth or magic.
rampant

04-12-06, 03:36 PM		NOTICE : Additions to above rules, casting the same spell or similar action 2 times in a row will draw ateention from the ubers. Casting any kind of magic or psi or such for more than 3 rounds will get your arse whooped. The tokens will place any unconcious/dead players into the reserve automatically. People will know who switched out before them to discourage switching as a way to avoid pain. No insta-death spells/powers/etc.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-12-06, 03:47 PM		All these people are characters that were created by don't get used much:
Stupid the warforged

Pardan the wild mage Living Disaster

Jam the (he claims) imprisoned Rajah

Thrincold Store the drow disguised an elitist elf

Sien the changeling who looks like a kalashtar and has 20 ft arms

Bolt-Tooth Tony

Bruce Ki

Ninja Jaela

Long Wang Hung: Human Monk(?)/Rouge(?)
Transported from a plane of existence that is basically a “Humanoid Occupied Landfill” (The HöL) used to deposit the most despicable of criminals and riff-raff among the Multiverse, Long Wang Hung appeared on the deck of the Forgotten Freedom… fully naked. This caused some amount of drooling from Marish and the Necromancer Chick (Luckily Jaela was below decks at the time). The issuing “catfight” (pun OH so intended) was a sight to see (When exactly did someone install a wrestling ring full of Jell-O™ onto the deck of the Forgotten Freedom? I mean I’m sure somebody would have noticed it before…).
Long Wang preceded to make himself a valued member of the crew with his many “talents” as well his “Bag of Stuff” an item that seems to hold just about ANYTHING one could imagine. To hear Long Wang tell it, the bag is connected to The HöL. The thing is most of things that come out of the bag are defective in some way, which is why they were in The HöL in the first place.
One would think that with Long Wang’s abilities and the “Bag of Stuff” that he would try to run things on the Freedom, but he is very happy to take orders from the “Cap’n”. And although he is not much to talk about his stint in The HöL, Long Wang has this to say “After traversing such delightful locals as ‘The Rusty Razor Ruins’, “The Plains of Discarded Personal Hygiene Products”, and ‘The Diaper Swamps’ this ship and it’s crew are a welcome reprieve…”
Long Wang Hung’s “Talents”:
“Make Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed”: Ya take the pointy end and ya make a lot of holes. What’s not to understand?
“I Will Kick You Ta Sleep!” aka “That Psycho Bruce Lee Sh*t”:
Light Kick-Medium Kick-Heavy Kick
Forward to Down To Quarter Circle Forward with Heavy Punch,
Half Circle Back, Half Circle Back with Heavy Kick
Repeat as Needed.
“Go For The Sweet Spot”: Ability to know juuuuust how to hit someone where it hurts. And not in a “ow…hey that smarts..” kind of hurt. More of a “SWEET UNHOLY MOTHER OF KYHBER!!! THE PAIN!! OH GODS, THE PAIN!!” sort of hurt. Consider yourself warned.
“Magic Stick”:….Um….I don’t really need to explain this one do I…?
“Explain ANYTHING”: Ability to make any explanation, no matter how improbable, seem plausible. I mean someone has to explain away all the crazy stuff that happens on this bucket.
“Ponderous Philosophical Rhetoric”: Ability to go on a long tirade about not a GODS DAMNED THING!!! Not only that but actual keep the listeners attention!! And by the end of said tirade the listeners is so completely dumb-founded as to have the mental capacity of lukewarm tapioca pudding.
“View Huge Amounts Of Bloody Mutilation And Still Eat Fast Food”: “Yep looks like someone decided to play cat’s cradle with the redshirt’s intestines… and that was before they removed his internal organs, sliced them into thin sheets, and spread them around the body. I mean, who knew the human body had so much blood. Man the stuff is every where….*crunch* *chew* *munch*…Egg roll?"

Cyrp daelkyr half-blood raised by Flumphs and chased by the Gatekeepers and the Silver Flame

Jingo the Shade kleptomaniac ninja goblin (who may be dead by now)

"Lucky" d'Medani the NOW female early warning system

Jacob Hunter

Scholar, Stupid's exact opposite (whose brain may have been eaten)

Klaz Dingbo, obsessed Dinosaur Hunter

Erk the unable to communicate except by gestures minotaur

Steve, Muradin's earth elemental

Vrin- a wanna-be sky pirate drow who always seems to have the worst luck at the worst of time. He also wears a pair of sunglasses.

Saberiel
CE Half-Nymph Succubus Sorcerer 5/Feind of Corruption 5
The succubus that lured Michael to Evil. 'nough said. Saberiel was the offspring of an Unseelie Nymph and a Succubus/Incubus. Her potent illusion magic has thus far allowed her to avoid alignment detection by Lisa, and says her shapeshifing abilities come from a "Hat of Disguise". She'll gladly beat Michael to a pulp, again.

Biana
CG Half-Elf Healer 10
Propably the only kind-hearted, generous and genuinely caring female on the ship, at the moment. Saberiel will probably be trying to kill her any day now, and Mickey'll be getting jealous that nobody wants him to heal them anymore (though of course his potions will be as popular as ever). She's completely oblivious to any negative emotions directed at her. And if Dooj or Michael try anything, all she has to do is smile sweetly at the Captain and say: "Jarlot, they're pestering me so much, it'd be easier to cure your wounds if they wern't around..." even if (especially if) Jarlot DOESN'T have any injuries. She may have high charisma, but she doesn't have below average Wis or Int.

Tony the Tiger: Rakasha replacement cook temp

Name: Cabin Boy, Race: Elan, class: unknown, alignment: Lawful neutral
One of the legends of the Kalashtar states that one possible method of ending the machinations of the dreaming dark is the coming of the next age of Dal Quor. Unfortunately this is common knowledge on both sides of the conflict and so in a preemptive strike the dreaming dark sought out birth stirrings of the next age awaited it's coalescence and bound it into the form of a teenage Inspired. Cabin Boy is aware of his origins and figures the safest place for him to be (also the most likely one that will get him back to Dal Quor where he can fulfill his destiny) is in the heart of Chaos that is the Forgotten Freedom. Also likes the Irony that the ships name bears for his people. He is possessed of a Dali Lama like acceptance of others that often makes them take an uncomfortable look at themselves stands about 5'4" is bald and looks Indian

Silence emo goth binder chick

Phollie (Pholly's exact duplicate twin)

Roosevelt ****** off teddy-bear homonunculus carpenter

and how about we add one more:
Ülachemkalashuuch (a.k.a. Reman Weascal) male human Lawyerspeaker 8 (so, needless to say, he's LE)
Reman's father—a powerful wizard who'd been on many adventures—wanted his son to pursue something less dangerous. Why he chose lawyer we will never know. Reman, however, got hooked on Truespeach. Rather than rebel or quietly accpet, Reman combined to two disciplines. Instead of using words to make the universe bend to his will like a truespeaker, or using words to strike fear and confusion in the ignorant like a lawyer, Reman can confuse the univere with words. He is the only Lawyerspeaker EVER. Needless to say this branded him as one of the most evil people in history, and reserved him a karmic spot on the FF.
Most of the crew finds Reman hilarious. Reman will say something that sounds like pure gibberish and…NOTHING HAPPENS. At least not for a few minutes…or days. By the time Reman has given up on the utterance it activates. So he's like a different kind of Hoybee: his utterances WORK, but never when he wants them to. Reman never gives up, though, always pressing on like everythings working. Like a good lawyer he never lets reality get in the way.
Jarlot absolutely refused to hire a lawyer (CG). So Reman is working his way up from Redshirt, occasionally trying to advise the crew on legal matters. He's not pursued by any über-evil: they're all too afraid of lawyers.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-12-06, 06:27 PM		One crew member I feel must be added to this list - Death Paper, the awakened paper golem/attack squirrel.

...unless he classifies as an uber.

Am I the only one who loves the little guy?
Havarel

04-12-06, 06:42 PM		Don't forget Mickey Nine-fingers.

Am I the only one who loves the little guy?

He's great, one of my favourite characters. But generally guys, keep up the good work. I'm amazed how the thread has evolved, but its hilarious from page 1 onwards..
Kaizer_Ryu

04-12-06, 07:24 PM		Peter Graves appears out of nowhere about 8 feet behind Volrath.

Peter Graves: (to no one) Hi, I'm Peter Graves. Tonight on Biography-

Volrath: (turns) STOP FOLLOWING ME, DAMN IT!!! Bunny, get 'em!

Bunny: *squeak*!

Volrath's bunny pulls a 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail rabbit', leaping the full distance and severing Mr. Graves head in one bite. Unfortunately for Michael, he had rounded the corner just in time to see this.

Michael: HOLY KHYBER!!!! THE RABBITS ARE FINALLY ATTACKING!!!!

OOC: Don't ask, I really don't know. I have to quote Ray from Ghostbusters on this one. "I couldn't help it! It just...popped in there..."
Also, I have nothing personal against Peter Graves. Again, I don't know why either.
urial angel of death

04-12-06, 09:08 PM		As bunny begins to "dig in", Drizzt rounds the corner and bumps into Volrath.

Drizzt (startled) : People are trying to kill me for no reason, please help me!
Volrath : Alright :schemes:
Drizzt : Where did that halo come from, and why are you smiling?
Volrath (grabs the halo and slips it into his pocket) : No reason :devil:
Drizzt (this time pointing at Volrath) : Your doing it again!
Volrath : Oh sorry. Just come this way.

A sort while later Drizzt walks into to Volrath's room. It is filled with a darkness so deep that his darkvision can not pentrate it.

Drizzt : Where am I?

Drizzt feels a hard knock on his head and passes out.

Volrath : Oh this is going to be fun :devil:
rampant

04-12-06, 09:45 PM		If death paper had an IQ greater than 3 he might be an uber in training, as it is he is somewhat stronger than jarlot or norbaz but silence would crumple his folded arse.
Phantomcrossing

04-12-06, 10:26 PM		OOC: I find myself a fan of Stupid and Scholar, though I haven't seen Scholar in a while...

Anyway, I always love the Lisa and Michael interactions...haven't seen any since her return (in chains) to the ship...you think someone would have found her by now unless silence thought she ruined her summoning attempt and not he dimensional shift...wait a second!

IC:

Silence walks about the cargo hold bringing a small bowl of stew with her. When she finds the appropriate crate, she takes out a crowbar and pries part of it open.

Silence: Like, here's the food I'm bringing you today.

Lisa looks like hell. Silence has been practicing her makeup skills on her and has kept her in the crate since she surmised that Lisa must have been the reason her summoning circle failed duruing the Dreaming Dark incident.

Lisa: I swear by the silver flame when I get out of here, you will be for a world of smite!

Silence: Oh hush, unless you want me to read this!

Triumphantly, Silence holds up Devon's Poetry book.

Lisa: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

On deck Michael, Dooj, Bruce Ki, and Mickey Ninefingers are playing a game of cards. Bruce Ki's are facing the wrong way as he is blindfolded. Michael's head perks up from the game for a moment.

Michael: You guys hear that?

Bruce Ki: You are imagining things, now go fish.

Dooj: Wrong game, monk.

Michael: Hold on...I'll be right back.

Michael abandons the game and begins searching the ship with Detect Good, it isn't long before he finds a strong and familiar aura when he is in the cargo hold. Cautiously, he approaches the crate from which it radiates.

OOC: Someone else pick this up please, otherwise I can only see this ending in tears.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-12-06, 10:38 PM		The following conversation takes place in squirrel...

Terra: So, what's it like being a paper golem?

Death Paper: Attack squirrel...

Terra: Oh, right. Sorry.

Death Paper: Don't worry. Most of the people on board get that wrong. I think it's because of my name. I don't know why Dad chose that one...

Terra: *ahem* ANYway...same question.

Death Paper: Eh, I can't complain. Dad takes care of me pretty well, giving me all the nuts I can eat. When I do a good job, he even gives me berries as a treat!

Terra: :confused: But how do you...? (shakes her head) Nevermind. Better not ask.

At this moment, Michael comes running down the hall screaming something about killer bunnies and 1950's actors hosting shows featuring celebrity profiles.

Death Paper: Now that's something you don't hear every day...

Terra: Well...I wouldn't be so sure about that. Stay here long enough and nothing surprises you anymore. Either Volrath is behind this, or I need to up Michael's dose.... Hell, I'll do that anyway. I still need to find the toxicity level. :devil:
Kaizer_Ryu

04-12-06, 11:02 PM		OOC: That's three times in a week. Man, I need to pay more attention. Well, anyway, here you go.

IC:

Terra: We need to get you cleaned up.

Lisa: Thanks for getting me out of there. Oh, It feels so good to walk again. I've been in there for days!

Terra: I found out a little while ago. Silence has been acting suspicious the last few days, so I had some of the rats watching her.

Lisa: What if she finds out it was you? I don't think this is going to be pretty. I heard someone trying to open the crate when you got me out.

Terra: Oh, I've got that one covered...

***

Michael finally manages to pry open the crate, only to find it empty. From behind, he hears someone approaching.

Silence: YOU!!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!!

Michael: But, but, I just- :gah:

*PIMP SLAP OF DOOM*

***

As Terra and Lisa head down the hall, they come across Roosevelt, quietly counting a wad of cash.

Terra: Thanks for your help, back there.

Roosevelt: Glad to be of service. If you want, the lesser crew bathroom is just down the hall to the right.

Lisa: Thanks.

OOC: Why am I so mean to Michael? Why is it so fun? I don't know, but he needs to learn to deal with the competition...

Edit: I've been thinking. Even I can't let Terra get away with this one scott-free. I'll post the continuation later tonight.
Charles Phipps

04-13-06, 12:32 AM		Jarlot: *stares stoically across the wilderness*

Michael: Hey Jarlot.

Jarlot: Yes grasshopper?

Michael: Grass wh...

Jarlot: *sprays him in the eyes with bugspray*

Michael: AHHHHHH!

Jarlot: It's wrong to interfere with my somber brooding while I prepare to go kidnap Aerith.

Michael: Bhuw?

Jarlot: You remember our half-elf healer?

Michael: Not really no.

Jarlot: Well after I defeated Khyber....

Michael: *snort* Yeah right....

Jarlot: *lifts the spray*

Michael: NOT THE SPRAY!

Jarlot: Well Biana it turns out is actually Aerith's normal form before being merged with Jaela by a Solar Deva.

Michael: Isn't that...kinda evil?

Jarlot: Hmm?

Michael: Well no offense Captain, but whenever I try and merge a demoness with some poor girl then its always paladins trying to kill me.

Jarlot: Well good apparently can do what it wants so long as its against evil.

Michael: So similiar to our philosophy...

Jarlot: So I'm going to sweep her off her feet and carry her off back to the ship since this awful ritual is an enemy of Biana's freedom and she really wants to be here with us.

Michael: And you'll drive out the Solar Deva right?

Jarlot: Wh....HELL NO. Do you know how much a charisma bonus she gets?

Michael: Well I guess we're up to that plan then.

Jarlot: Besides, according to these ancient records I've found, Biana is also destined to wed the RULER OF THE PLANET.

Michael: Hey! Those are my unholy scrolls of Darkness that I got my dragon father.

Jarlot: Your father is a Dragon?

Michael: Well kind of. Basically, he's an unholy monster from Xen'drick who randomly went around impregnating females. He said that eventually all of us would fight and the winner would become one of the Dark Six....err Seven. Our sister would also be a major portion of the prophecy.

Jarlot: I see the DM has been stealing from Baldur's Gate again.

Michael: Huh?

Jarlot: Sorry Michael; things like hit points, saving throws, Dungeon Masters, out of character, twinking, and so on are holy words beyond you non-epic levels.

Michael: HEY! I could be epic level....if I stopped having sex with the succubus.

Jarlot: Yeah, that's not happening anytime soon. So you realize that Biana is your sister right?

Michael: What!? OH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO!

Jarlot: Troubled by your sister being a puppet for an Archangel?

Michael: ALL THOSE FILTHY crewmembers were thinking IMPURE thoughts against her. I'll kill them all!

Jarlot: Ummmm...Michael?

Michael: I bet those damned Thranish knights are already trying to corrupt her pure and innocent mind with thoughts about....SEX and stuff! Turn the ship immediately for Flamekeep we're going to get my sister back before they lay a hand on her.

Jarlot: O....Kay....

Ketler: Hey, I hear you're hot sister is going to be resc....

Michael: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....

Jarlot: What a peculiar development.

Ketler: Yeah, well not as peculiar as the realization that I'm actually V.

Jarlot: What?

Ketler: I thought that was obvious.

Jarlot: I don't believe you.

Ketler: Right and you're not Batman.

Jarlot: I keep telling you I'm not.

Ketler: Just what I'd expect Batman to say.

Jarlot: In any case, I wonder what Michael was going to ask me to say.

Ketler: Oh just, that he wants you to help him win over Lisa.

Jarlot: I wonder why he'd ask me.

Ketler: Yeah, you pine after a girl who may be getting married to :coolcthul

Jarlot: OH HELLLLLLLL NO.

Ketler: Yeah, these things happen. By the way I've found a place to store crew members who don't get mentioned after a few pages.

Jarlot: Oh and where's that?

Ketler: Errr....well since we ran out of Ninja Jaela.

*a half dozen crew members run out of the chili room and start vomiting*

Jarlot: We better damn well mention Marish soon.

Ketler: Yeah, think of the hairballs.
Charles Phipps

04-13-06, 12:57 AM		5107. There will be no abberational armies allowed onboard the Forgotten Freedom from this point on.
5108. This applies to existing abberational armies.
5109. No, you won't have any problem with disposing of yours....
5110. You see, I assigned our chili chef to feed them.
5111. Yes, they're all dead.
5112. Yes, even the undead ones.
5113. I know you're vowing vengeance.
5114. What's the word I'm looking for? Oh yes, too bad.
5115. Michael is no longer allowed to flip out and kill everyone whom mentions his sister in a manner that can remotely be construed as sexual.
5116. I believe that's called taking a level in Berserker.
5117. There is no one allowed to mock the Captain's love poetry to Aerith.
5118. That includes dressing Jacob up as Aerith in order to get at the chocolate I buy for her.
5119. Marish is forbidden to eat it as well....
5120. Even if I can't stop her once she starts wagging her tail.
5121. Mickey Nine Fingers is forbidden from pulling out a shotgun and blowing the head off people whom come to him for problems that don't need his attention.
5122. Or just for the hell of it.
5123. Even if he bandages the wound.
5124. You shall not imply the Captain isn't Epic Level.
5125. You shall certainly not do that by wrapping him up in a burlap sack and beating him to test his hit points.
5126. The Captain does not need to prove his epic levels, he is simply that badass.
5127. The Captain DID TOO beat Khyber and implying he didn't is punishable by being forced to walk the Plank.
5128. It is wrong to make the plank sentient Ketler.
5129. Or to give her a female personality so John won't be lonely.
5130. The fact that Andrea bound the personality of a late crew member to it doesn't make it any better either.
5131. It is wrong to tell Marish that she's getting pudgy to get her to do catrobics.
5132. It is wrong to tell Michael purposely awful advice to court Lisa.
5133. No one is allowed to tell Michael that his Dragon Magazine Bhaalspawn template is worthless in Eberron.
5134. No one is allowed to play Baldur's Gate in front of him and point out how successful their characters are by comparison.
5135. Our drow crew member is forbidden to mock Drizzt.
5136. It was funny at the start but someone please let him out of the closet.
5137. It is wrong to make the joke "Drizzt Do'Urden won't come out of the closet"
5138. At least as many times as you've made it.
5139. Dooj, please stop moping about the fact Michael has fallen in love with Lisa....
5140. Yes, I know you like him THAT way but its really....
5141. Oh crap, did I just share that secret of yours with the entire crew?
5142. Ummm...pretend I never said that.
5143. As Captain I insist on a cut of all artifacts and magical items equal to my station...say....100% minus items that suck like the Eye of Vecna and 'talky' items like this sword "Stormbringer."
5144. Its impolite to speculate about my ever changing backstory.
5145. No, I am NOT Batman.
5146. I was just a billionaire Sharn Doctor's son that saw his family gunned down in a filthy ally before learning everything to fight crime.
5147. Andrea, you are forbidden from plotting against Terra's life.
5148. Yes, I know that there's not room for any other sexually alternate evil magicians but that's beside the point.
5149. The crew is forbidden from nominating new captains to replace me by the following methods...
5150. Lotto.
5151. Amateur porn video competition.
5152. Ritual Combat (wait that IS how I'm the Captain)
5153. For those who challenge me to ritual combat, we shall settle it by the manner of swords and pistols. You get the swords, I get the pistols.
5154. ...And that is why I am still captain.
5155. You cannot nominate the following people for Captain...
5156. Batman...
5157. The Master...
5158. Margeret Thatcher...
5159. Homer Simpson...
5160. Skeletor...
5161. Starscream...
5162. Cobra Commander...
5163. Colonel Klink....
5164. Keith Baker
5165. It is wrong to inform Stupid that Scholar is just one of his alternate personalities.
5166. From now on, all crew member Red Shirts will be recruited from the "Smith Clan" and be named John.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-13-06, 01:20 AM		OOC: Ok, here we go.

IC:

Terra watches the clouds go by, thinking of her recent rescue of Lisa.

Terra: I still can't believe the luck. That one had to be worth some major points. Now, if I can just get her over the fact that we're both women...

At that moment, a familiar dread overcame her. The presence of a powerful extraplanar being nearby.

Terra: Uh oh. This had better not be what I think it is...

Her worst fears are confirmed when she hears voices from below deck.

Satnak: Can't I ever get a moments rest around here?!!! Stand back and lemme zorlch 'im.

Silence: Back off, woman! I brought him here on purpose! Now where's that b**ch Terra hiding?!

Terra: Oh crap...

A demon, wreathed in flame, bursts through the deck. It is followed shortly by Silence, obviously very angry.

Silence: So, you thought you could frame Michael for ruining my fun, did you?!

Terra: :confused: Uh...I'm sorry, what?

Silence: Oh, like you don't know! (turns to the demon) GET HER!!!

The following battle involves lots of flashy pyrotechnics, wanton destruction, cool Matrix-style martial arts, and profuse swearing. However, due to budget cuts after the last story arc, you'll have to imagine it for yourself. :D :P

Terra: (leaning on her knees over the demon's body) *pant**pant* Now STAY down! *pant*

A shadow appears over her, and her heart sinks as she sees Silence standing next to her.

Terra: Oh, HELL N-

*UBER PIMP SLAP OF DOOM*

(later)

Michael sits in the infirmary, several bruises and welts on his face. He stares angrily at Terra who is seated nearby, also covered in bruises and sporting a black eye.

Terra: I said I was sorry! I thought it was Silence trying to open the crate. What are the chances it would be you, and that she would catch you like that?

Michael: (turning away) :mad:
Kinger

04-13-06, 01:56 AM		Jarlot lurks within his candlelit suite, a large chalkboard before him with "Dah Plan!" written atop it. The remainder of the board is an indecypherable white smudge, having been erased and rewritten so many times even the Captain can't tell what's now written on it. He mutters to himself as he scribbles at the board, his murmers and scratches the only sound in the otherwise still room.
Behind him, a quiet voice clears her throat. The captain leaps into the air with a yelp and spins, clutching his chest and panting heavily. "For Sovereigns' sake, Jingo," he curses, "I've told you not to do that!"
He opens his eyes to behold the tiny figure, only to see that she isn't there after all.
"Uh, captain?"
The captain yelps again and spins back to his chalkboard. Jingo hangs in front of it, upside-down, looking at him quizically and somehow suspended from the ceiling. He falls to the floor away from the goblin and curses.
"Stop that!"
"Sorry, captain," says Jingo mock-apologetically, dropping to the floor and making absolutely no sound in the process. She fishes in her pocket and withdraws a golden pocketwatch. "I found this somewhere... I think it's yours."
Jarlot's eyes widen and he snatches back his watch. "There it is! I thought I lost it 13 pages and numerous over-the-top excursions ago!"
"You did," mutters Jingo under her breath.
"What?"
"Nothing. I also found these." She withdraws the items from a pocket.
"What are they?" asks Jarlot, bending over to examine them closer.
"Doog's childhood memories,"
Jarlot recoils with a rather effeminate shriek.
"Yeah. Apparentley he was actually a pretty nice kid, until he hit puberty... at age five."
"How the hell did you get those?" inquires Jarlot, still recoiling.
"Best not to ask," she says, putting them back in her pocket. "I've also got his libido somewhere..."
"Ah, right, I'd noticed he'd been a tad subdued lately," says the Captain, recomposing himself. "So, uh, where've you been? It's been a while since you've given me a cardiac arrest just by appearing."
"Oh, here and there," says the goblin vaguely before changing the subject. "I noticed the crew's expanded somewhat. There seems to be more in the way of aberrant monsters, undead fiends, and horrors-that-are-best-not-named on staff. I hardly know anyone now."
"Yes, well... They just sort of showed up, one by one. Luckily, I think they're intent on acting out their little feuds between each other without impacting the overall continuity too much."
"Conti-what?"
"Nothing."
Gojing, bored with her current position, stands on one hand and continues the conversation upsidedown. "I thought there were rules in place prohibiting ancient manifestations of pure evil from seeking employment on the ship?"
"Yeah... Would you tell incarnate nightmares 'Sorry, we don't have any openings for employees with your particular skillset at the moment, but we'd gladly take your contact information and get back to you should an opening arise?'"
"True." The goblin rolls to her feet. "I'll be off now, then."
"Ah. So soon?"
"Well, I figure the longer I linger, the more likely I am to be draw the attention of one of the aforementioned incarnate nightmares and be drawn into their schemes, machinations, and misadventures, so..."
"Ah, quite." The captain sighs and stands, stooping to pick up his dropped chalk. "I can't really avoid that fate, myself. I mean, look at me now!"
"Touche. My sympathies."
"Thanks."
"Ta," says Jingo, vanishing before the captain. He blinks and looks around in vain for the goblin, then sighs and digs his hands in his pockets. There is a moment's pause before he notices a curious lacking in one of them.
"Bah! Damn goblin nicked my wallet..."
"Sorry."
"Augh!!"
rampant

04-13-06, 03:27 AM		Tell me if I miss any one.

Chalky's starters
runners
Last ninja jeala #26 (NJ26)
Dooj
Lisa
Chalky (captain)
defenders
Sien
Pholly
Sabariel

Smig's Starters
runners
Death paper
Phollie
Vrin
Micheal
defenders
Marish
Biana
Smig





Chalky's Reserves
Pardan
Jam
Thrincold
Bolt-tooth-Tony
Bruce-Ki
Silence
Cyrp
Jingo
Cabin Boy
Luck d'medani
Scholar
Muradin?? (what level is he again)
Allen
Cheese
Stupid
Mickey
Johnny
Squishy
Old dwarf lady
Nalfien

Smig's reserves
Long Wang hung
Klaz Dingbo
Steve
Jacob HUnter
Tony the Tiger
Roosevelt
Reman Weascel
Hoybee
Devon
Andrea
Jarlot
V
Ajiz-aki (the schizo soulknife)
Volrath (again what level)
Norbaz
Erk
Ketler
Squinty
Melvin
Tabitha
Andrea
Random Redshirt (RR)

Ref's
Kithle
Satnak
Kanatash
Sa'vor
Earl
Slip
Terra
John
Igor

First team to three points wins
(not starting until people get a chance to nail me on anyone i miss so don't jump the gun PlZ)


Kithle - Well the first signers are notified just gotta get ready for tommorrow. Roosevelt try to remember the rules no imppassables and no full immobilzers plz.

roosevelt - awwww (leaves to work on spinter traps)

Terra sees sign up and lets out a sigh

Kithle - Whats wrong now I've got an event to run and we can't have the refs too depressed to do their jobs right.

Terra - I wanted to play on chalk's team with lisa.

Kithle - Sorry but your too powerful and smart you'd competely munch the other team, besides your spies are perfectly placed to make sure none of the players pulls any of kinda crud roosevelt was thinking of.

Terra - I know but...

Kithle - Some advice, try to just enjoy the spectacle and be sure to catch anyviolations that occur around Lisa, but do not favor her or overly punish her opponents. Lisa respects integrity which despite your hobbies you do posses a certain measure of, you don't lie, and your not really that abusive.

Terra - Why are you helping me? are you helping me?

Kithle - I lost my girlfriend after the transformation. The bastards from the village found me and tried kill me even after I proved who I was. She got killed because that dipshit from the Temple to dol-dorn didn't know the difference between a halberd and a club. I didn't have any healing power because I had to use stealth and arcane to escape. Frankly the day of morning didn't do too much damage to that part of Cyre. From what I've seen its an improvement.

Terra - Wow, you really are human.

Kithle - Yeah, don't go telling everyone that. Also I've done some reading, the church of the silver flame has no existing stand on alternative lifestyles, except that whole anti- shapeshifter/fiend/undead thing. Ever consider why Lisa never had any boyfriends even when she was young.

Terra - I thought it was a combination of the hammer and a vow of Chasity.

Kithle - No such vow, and the wrath is probably confusion and frustration. That and most people on this ship really do deserve a good thwacking.

Terra - Still what do you gain.

Kithle - The look on micheals face, i'm gonna freeze him for a bit then have roosevelt sculpt a bust with that expression.

Terra - There's the Bastard we know and loathe.


5167. I'm the captain Stop following Kithle.
5168. I'm the captain Stop following Smig, and Chalky.
5169. Speaking of which, I'm green and stuck.
Charles Phipps

04-13-06, 05:04 AM		OOC: And as a note, there's a perfectly viable third alternative.

*knock knock*

Jarlot: Yeah? What? I'm busy.

*knock knock knock*

Jarlot: GO AWAY!

*Michael kicks the door down*

Michael: I NEED TO TALK....OH MY GOD.....

Jarlot: .....I didn't need you to see this.

Michael: Captain, I knew you lived...differently from other men but I never expected you to....

Jarlot: What!? I'm sick of you people persecuting me for being the way I am!

Michael: *gulp* I....you're my friend Jarlot so I suppose I can accept this new revelation about your preferences.

Jarlot: Thanks. Finally some respect.

*The Captain meanwhile gets up from his WarhammerTM miniature covered tables as all of the Dungeons and Dragons material is off to the side.

Andrea, Marish, and Chalky are here*

Jarlot: Same time next week?

Andrea: Do I always have to play the Forces of Order?

Jarlot: Yes, because Good is Dumb.

Marish: I posed for a lot of the artwork in these books.

Jarlot: Okay, you've got five minutes Michael. I'm singing the song that ends the world and then I'm STing a game of Exalted.

Michael: OH SWEET DEVOURER! Don't tell me that sort of stuff! I don't want to know about your.....stuff like that! And its DMing damnit! Old school!

Jarlot: Four minutes, fifty five seconds.

Michael: I love Lisa and want to marry her but I'm not sure if she likes men.

Jarlot: New rule list.

5170. Don't turn my gawd damn ship into an episode of Friends.
5171. Don't come to me with your relationship questions...

Michael: Jarlot....you're my only friend.

Jarlot: Oh sw....don't cross that line Michael. I don't DO friendship.

Michael: Seriously. I grew up on the streets of Sharn, the Cult of the Dragon Below raised me, and I've pretty much lived my entire life surrounded by blood and death. I know a thousand ways to kill someone and.....here I just don't want to anymore.

Jarlot: Wow, did you pick the wrong ship to develop that habit on.

Michael: Don't mock me. These feelings are raw....alien....scary.

Jarlot: First Mate Slip....

Slip: Yessir.

Jarlot: Summon Lisa...

*Lisa gets up onboard*

Michael: Hu...hu...hi Lisa.

Jarlot: Lisa do you like men or women in a sexual capacity?

Michael: *SPUTTER*

Lisa: Eh?

Jarlot: Listen, Michael is a sad and pathetic wreck of a man...

Michael: HEY!

Jarlot: A victim of the kind of abuse and brainwashing by a cult that you and I can only dream about. He's done abominable things and frankly by your religion deserves to die. Yet on the other hand, its gradually soured. He loves you....and not just the interpretation he didn't understand before. However, he's willing to respect that you simply don't feel the same way.

Michael: If by respect you mean toss myself over the side of the ship, yeah.

Jarlot: Good man. You don't have to like him Lisa and you may not owe him an honest answer or even have to give him the time of day but could you tell him this simple fact so I can get back to my gawd damned gaming? I've got Boranal coming over for beer and harlots later.

Lisa: I don't....I don't know.

*she walked off down into her hold*

Michael: Well that was like having my heart ripped out and stomped on.

Jarlot: I was fourteen years old when I ran away from my home Michael. I joined the army of Cyre to provide stability in my life after living quite unpleasantly for two years. After Cyre was destroyed, I was alone on this planet. Since then I've claimed to be everything under the sun and devoted my life to being rich.

...If you can find someone to care about onboard this ship of all places Michael then you should. Don't waste yourself on a false dream though. Underneath that trouble, there's a good man.

Michael: Man I want to kill something....

Jarlot: I'll get you a character sheet.
urial angel of death

04-13-06, 07:45 AM		Volrath shows up in Jarlots room carrying so many papers and books he had to grow several extra arms and tentacle to carry them all.

Volrath : Please, can we play 2nd edition? I brought all of the books and can teach you guys really easily.
Jarlot : No way, I told you nothing that was like our world so unless you brought an approved campaign setting no.
Volrath : Ravenloft?
Jarlot : Too gothic.
Volrath : Spelljammer?
Jarlot : Too sci-fi.
Volrath : Planescape?
Jarlot : Maybe.

Volrath for the first timew notices that Micheal is in the room.

Volrath : Don't tell me that he's playing.
Micheal : Must tget away from the geekiness

Micheal runs away.

Jarlot : To bad.
Volrath : Also captain can I please keep my aberrations? I promise to use them more respossibly. Also should I take my copy of Baldur's Gate out of the ship's computer lab.
Jarlot : Well I guess you can keep the aberrations if I get a cut of all conquests, they don't attack crew members about red shirt rank, and.. Wait sense when have we had a computer lab?
Volrath : Well it was here when I got here. The only people to go to it regularly are Kelter, Phollie, Vrikn, and me. You would be suprised by how good Vrin is at those games. He has God like power!


A good while later after Jarlot abondoned his P&P game, in favor of computers, and his consequent linching.
Lisa is sitting in the mess hall eating some soup. She is still oblivious to over half the conflict she is causing. As she leans over to pick up a small turkey from her plate, it gets up and attaciks her with a flying jumps kick. The kick bounces off harmlessly, but the turkey is not detered. It begins to unlease a series of karate chops and kicks. All of these also bounce off. Lisa finally manages to smash it with her hammer.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-13-06, 08:19 AM		OOC: Man, it's great to see Roosevelt getting used so much! Remember people: he looks like a teddy bear, so abuse him for that aspect…and then reak horrible revenge on the character who does.

IC:
Michael is fleeing from the geeks when he turns the corner and bumps into Erk. Next to Erk is Reman, and it looks like they were having a conversation.

Michael: Watch where you're going you overgrown leather jacket!

Reman (immediately jumping into lawyer mode): Michael McCellan, according to his crew records—which can be obtained by filling out Information Aquisition form 34, having the captain ignore it, and then go wining to either him or an über—Erk is a full-blooded minotaur, meaning that he has a natural sense of direction—explained under Natural Cunning (Ex), Monster Manual 3.5e p. 189—despite having an apparant intelligence that would be better suited to an actual cow.

Michael: Well I don't give a…wait, did you say apparent? You mean Erk is actually SMART?

Reman: Mr. McCellan, such information is covered under the Lhazaar Pirates' Privacy Act of -2,500 Before Galifar. If you wish to requisition that information…

Michael: Shut up, before I half to make you shut up!

Reman: I believe such an act would fall under the purview of "Good", as defined under the D&D rules "Killing Bad People Is Okay" as established in the landmark Fanatical Good Guy vs. Bad Guy Who Is Manipulating the System, thus causing you…

Michael just raises his sword. Reman stops, and he is obviously about to try an utterance. Erk quickly analyzes the danger of the situation, then picks Michael up by his head and rams him through the nearest wall.

Erk: *grumbles something unintelligible*(points)

Reman: You were acting in defense of another, and Mr. McCellan clearly provoked a reaction. You can even file a claim against him for undue injury to your hand because his head was enough to punch through the wall on its own. But let us not dwell on that. Come, I need you to hold my seriously heavy tomes of law so I can review sports injury cases…

Erk (*s are supposed to indicate psychic or thoughts, right?: *Close one. I'll have to figure out a way to make it up to Roosevelt. Maybe I can switch Pholly and Phollie for the Haz'rack totems using my hidden powers of illusions…*

OOC: Come on! I gave you a lawyer! Make lawyer jokes!
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-13-06, 09:05 AM		Igor approaches Chalky and Smig, who are trying to figure out why the totems suddenly sound like Pholly and Phollie.

Igor: Thirs, I believe there hath been a mixthup.

Chalky: What is it, Igor?

Igor: I did not thign up for a team. I wath thinking of being a referee.

Smig: You didn't sign yourself on? Hmmm, better have a talk with Kithle and Kantash. Someone might be trying to rig the game.

Igor: Ath you can thee, thirs, I have a limp. I do not walk quickly.

Chalky: But don't you get around the ship without anyone noticing. And very quickly, I might add.

Igor waves a hand dismisively.

Igor: Tho doeth Erk. We uth the Lether Crew pathegeth. You don't need to be Kantath to path through a wall.

Chalky: Well if you really feel you'd serve better as a ref…

Igor: Who on thith thip would be more imparthial than the one who hath no fear? Every theemth to like me, and Sa'vor, Kithle, and Kantath would kill anyone who harmed their ultimate "thervant to be".

Smig: Excellent point. Plus you can aid Terra in keeping Roosevelt in check. And you can make sure that none of the Lesser-Used try anything funny with those secret passages.

Igor bows.

Igor: I aim to therve.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-13-06, 10:48 AM		Terra: So, I hear you've been made a ref.

Igor: Yeth, mithtreth. I am thuppothed to help you keep the lether crew under wrapth.

Terra: You can stop calling me mistress. You don't work for me anymore.

Igor: Thorry, forth of habit. Tho howth buithneth?

Terra: Booming. I still haven't found anyone nearly as capable as you, but I understand why you had to leave...

Igor: I go where I am needed. Thtill, I am glad you liked my work.

Terra: You really are one of a kind. I never realized how hard good help was to find until you left.
rampant

04-13-06, 11:43 AM		I need a replacement for igor on the list people
trying to keep it even here

Chalky - Sorry Igor but unless you can find someone to take your spot you can't be a ref.
Phantomcrossing

04-13-06, 12:24 PM		Norbaz: Okay so I'm an alternate, if you need me on the field come and get me, I have to set this place up for dinner.

Klaz: Just letting ya know mate. Now I gotta get back on deck, crickey, this game's a bute. Reminds me of the time I had to lasso a rex down in talenta. Bugger had Great big teeth and if he'd bitten me, well lets just say it would have taken more than a potion to get me on my feet.

As Klaz Dingo leaves, Norbaz continues setting the dishes and silverware out in the mess hall. Suddenly he notices that Lisa is still there, almost full plate of food, and holding her Warhammer on the table above a twitching piece of turkey. The utter look of despair and confusing on her face is actually alarming. Norbaz remembers last time Lisa had a breakdown, he still has the broken ribs from that encounter.

Norbaz: Something on your mind?

Lisa looks up at the half giant and tries to hide her turmoil with indignance.

Lisa: Nothing to concern yourself with.

Norbaz: Sorry, you're just moping in my mess hall, I thought I'd find out what's going on.

Lisa: I AM NOT MOPING

Lisa brandishes her hammer and prepares to strike. Suddenly she feels as though there are attacks coming from every direction. She tries to steady herself but falls back to her spot on the bench.

Lisa: By the flame, what was that.

Norbaz: Distract assailant, didn't feel like being smote. Now, in all honesty, what's on your mind?

Lisa: I'm...troubled.

Norbaz: There are only two kinds of trouble that can have you stepping off your usual moral high horse of righteousness.

Lisa: EXCUSE ME!

Norbaz: And their names are Terra and Michael.

Lisa: ...

Norbaz: Want me to get Kanatash? He's the councilor after all.

Lisa: No...no. I don't really need his mindgames right now.

Norbaz: But you need something.

Lisa sighs.

Lisa: Speak a word of this to anyone and I will visit upon you the justice of the silver flame.

Norbaz: Not a problem. My lips are sealed. I'm just a humble cook, looking to promote some kind of harmony and order on this ship.

Lisa glares at him.

Norbaz: Well, order yes. Harmony might be too boring.

Lisa: Regardless...Yes...I'm...I'm confused right now. I don't know what to do. I have no idea how to feel or what I feel for that matter.

Norbaz: Seems like you need something to figure out the truth. Hold on a second.

Norbaz leaves, only to return with three bottles of wine. He sets them down before lisa.

Norbaz: Truth wine. You're a paladin, so I figure you'll need alot of the stuff to have any affect. If is a decently powered alchemical truth serum and alchohol, so that doubles how open you'll be with how you feel.

Lisa: You expect me to get smashed right here?

Norbaz: No, I' suggesting you go back to your room, pray, have some drinks, and then ask yourself what's important or who is important to you.

Lisa looks at the half giant suspiciously

Lisa: Why even help?

Norbaz: I owe Michael and Terra for a few things, and regardless of who wins out in the end, this situation just needs some resolution. For everyone's piece of mind, and Marish's betting pool.

Lisa: Well, I suppo- what?! Marish has a betting pool for who I end up with?!

Norbaz: Are you really that surprised.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-13-06, 01:15 PM		I need a replacement for igor on the list people
trying to keep it even here

Chalky - Sorry Igor but unless you can find someone to take your spot you can't be a ref.
Really Creepy Voice Behind Chalky: I HEARD YOU NEED A PLAYER TO REPLACE IGOR.

Chalky, who was in the middle of working out the business with the totems, seriously does not want to turn around.

Chalky: My team needs another alternate.

Really Creepy Voice Behind Chalky: IGOR AND I ARE OLD FRIENDS. I HAVE SEEN HIM TRY TO PLAY HAZ'RACK. HE DOESN'T RUN WELL.

Chalky (now sweating): Well what do you suggest?

Really Creepy Voice Behind Chalky: I WILL TAKE HIS PLACE. I AM VERY GOOD AT CONTACT SPORTS. AND JUST TO REASSURE YOU, I AM NOT AN ÜBER.

Chalky: Are you member of the crew? Because I've hear that Igor knows a lot of strange people…

Really Creepy Voice Behind Chalky: I HAVE BEEN ABOARD SINCE THE CAPTAIN BOUGHT THIS SHIP. I HAVE BEEN IN ALL THE BATTLES. I HAVE EATEN NORBAZ'S CHILLI AND LIVED (IT'S VERY GOOD STUFF). I PARTICIPATE IN THE POOLS.

Chalky: Yeah? Well…who're you betting on now?

Really Creepy Voice Behind Chalky: LISA WILL REMAIN SINGLE.

Chalky: What kind of bet is tha…

Chalky turns around. There is no one there. Then, for some unknown reason he finds his gaze drawn down to the black rat standing before him.

Chalky (disconcerted): And you are?

Rat: MY NAME IS UNPRONOUNCABLE IN YOUR LANGUAGE. YOU MAY CALL ME CHEESE.

Chalky has the thought that this is a funny name…but some part of his instinct…a part of him that he is more aware of because he spent so much time among shifters…screams "IT'S A GREAT NAME!"

Chalky: Nice to meet you. I just have one question…

Cheese walks up to Chalky's foot and lifts him without any apparent effort.

Cheese: I ALSO HAVE A REFERENCE FROM TERRA. ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS MOSTLY TO CONSIST OF THINGS SHE PROMISES TO PUT IN YOUR FOOD…

Chalky: You're in!

OOC: So, new crewmember (well, he technically part of the rats):
Cheese
gender neutral super-rat (but he's not über!) ? HD which seem to count as both Wizard (Illusionist) and Shadowcaster levels
Cheese has always been and always will be. At least, that's what he says. He's certainly no ordinary rat. So far no one besides Igor or Terra knows much about him, but a whispered rumor that has been going around the ship for years tells of a rat put through the experiment wringer until he came out a creature of pure shadow. It also gave him a taste for chaos, which is why he's aboard the FF.
(I'm sorry. I just could not picture Igor playing Haz'rack. He's Jarlot's personal butler, so he'd be serving drinks during the game, not playing it.)
rampant

04-13-06, 01:15 PM		Chalky - Careful marish is on their starting line and frankly she plays dirty and has probably played more Haz'rack than anyone but me or Smig, possibly more than smig. She will try to eat you.

Cheese - I'LL BE CAREFULL.

CHalky - and quit it with the voice.

Cheese - Sorry.
urial angel of death

04-13-06, 04:35 PM		Volrath : Damn turkey, should have known it wouldn't work. Time to move on to plan B.

The next morning

Lisa stumbles into the messhall looking tired and nervous. Mickey looks up as she sits down beside him.
Lisa :My welcom mattried to eat me, my pillow nearly smothered me, the walls started dripping acid, poison needles popped out of all the cabinets. Can't sleep zombie clowns will eat me. Can't sleep zombie clowns will eat me. Can't see zombie clowns will eat me!
Mickey : Maybe a muffin will help.
Lisa : I guess.
Lisa inspects the muffin, casts detect poison, and finally craciks it open.
Lisa : Are those razor blades?
Mickey : It wasn't me!
Lisa : I know.
Volrath walks into the messhall.
Lisa (seathing with anger) : You!!!
Volrath : You're still alive? Oh ****!!!
Volrath runs out of the messhall with Lisa in hot pursuit.
Volrath (mini-me scream) : EEEEEeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!
Lisa (shouting) : You can't run forever!
Volrath : Just watch me!
Rei32491

04-13-06, 05:32 PM		OOC: Two people rampant missed are Muradin's Earth Elemental Steve, and Nalfein (FYI, He is now lvl 5 envoker/5 cleric/6 mystic theuger). Also Muradin is now lvl 10 fighter and 4 stone lord. Also for refs, Satnak.

BIC:

Nalfein: (Grumbling) Stupid Sa'vor, not making me into a vampire, no good, rotten...

He walks onto deck and sees Allen walking toward him.

Nalfein: :blink: PLEASE MAKE ME A VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!

Allen: WTF, GET AWAY FROM ME!

Allen starts running away and then jumps off the ship.

Nalfein: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! :weep:

Allen: Yes :D , got away from him -

He looks down and sees flamekeep just under him.

Allen: Oh ****.

5172 Nalfein is no longer allowed to ask Allen or Sa'vor to make him a Vampire

Nalfein: :weep:
Charles Phipps

04-13-06, 07:16 PM		Facts you may not have known about the Crew, a collection of the facts established by the thread. Some is new, some is old. Creators are welcome to disregard facts if they feel they aren't good story developments. However, this is an attempt to tie in all the character's together and make sense of a lot of weirdness.

Tell me if this is helpful.

Captain Jarlot

* Is a member of the Royal Family of Gallifar, almost certainly illegitimate (implications are that King Kaius and did so on a diplomatic visit---which would oddly make Jarlot half vampire unless he's older than he appears)
* Was born in Sharn to a Seren prostitute, implied to be from an abusive household
* Worships Dol Dorn and the rest of the Sovereign Host
* While Brelish by birth, fought for Cyre during the Last War (probably as a mercenary)
* Was a mercenary and adventurer after the war, apparently failed to join much better and more famous adventuring parties.
* Is surprisingly actualy one of the Good members of the crew but this is continually in doubt and only justified by his Holy Liberator levels (that he has shown no sign of actually possessing).
* Claims to be now epic level (again there is no sign he actually possesses them).
* Is apparently aware he is a Dungeons and Dragons character. Many of his decisions are made on intangibles like hit points and experience.
* Stole the airship from House Lyrander with apparently Slip's help.
* Jarlot has apparently a warforge graft liver that allows him to be immune to not only the immense effect of the booze he drinks but also other poisons, perhaps explaining his continued existence.
* Is obsessed with world domination and makes it a point to prey on other groups that are engaged in said activities in order to fund it.
* Has been married before, ending in divorce.
* Is a former lover of Queen Aurala but apparently that has ended extremely badly.
* Is believed to be somehow linked to the Dragon Prophecy and specifically the Coming of the Age of Khyber.
* Deeply in love with Brianna/Aerith, he seems to think she might be the key to his 'destiny' somehow.
* Is astigmatic and wears glasses to read.
* Is an avid roleplayer.

Ketler D'Cannith

* Is actually Merrix D'Cannith's son.
* Is apparently half-Gnomish.
* Has been on the Forgotten Freedom since he was a small boy and actually was raised by Jarlot.
* Is probably the greatest artificer on Eberron.
* Secretly resents the Dragonmarked Houses and personally wants to see them overthrown. Why he created the persona of "V"
* His immense love of Jaela is from her helping him stowaway onboard the FF from his family before she was Pontiff.
* Has immense love of pop culture of Earth and vast knowledge of it. This is from dimensional transcievers he's built that link to our world.
* He is capable of creating both technological and magitech devices.
* Created John
* Created Stupid
* Is actually a virgin.
* Worships Doctor Who as a manifestation of Onatar.

Andrea Glycine

* A Duchess of Karrnath, she's currently in exile for being a member of the Emerald Claw (which she denies as a group of 'bunglers')
* A powerful necromancer, she's actually a peer to Mordain Fleshweaver (her former master) and Vol herself (whom she disdains).
* Andrea met Jarlot at a Hellfire club and joined his crew as 'Ship's Witch.'
* Andrea is actually, contrary to stereotype, quite beautiful and very fashionable in her attire with designer robes imported from Aundair.
* Is bi.
* Transformed her cat familiar into a shifter girl (Marish)
* Her room is dimensionally transcendental and leads to a Mordekain's Magnificent Mansion where she keeps her lab and Gothic castle.
* Worships the Blood of Vol.
* Summoned most of the extradimensional abominations and created most of the undead on the ship.
* Is believed to be the reason that the ship doesn't self destruct with countless charm, domination, and undead control spells woven around the more unruly crew.
* Is surprisingly loyal to Jarlot.

Marish

* Actually born a cat, was transformed into a girl by Andrea and has been living as a shifter ever since.
* Is Andrea's familiar and everything the other feels is transferred.
* Is described as more cat girl than shifter.
* Is 'Ship's Cat' and believed to be the ship's concubine as well.
* Is actually a polymath with numerous degrees from Morgraive University by correspondence. She just thinks its more fun to play stupid.
* Is known to easily get jealous and pouts often when she doesn't get attention.
* Spends much of her time hunting Roosevedlt for her nest.
* Is an accomplished bard with numerous spells related to carnality and charming.
* Apparently can weaken even a Pit Fiend's resolve with her 'cute face.'
* Has an addiction to jewelry, fine clothes, gourmet food, ear scratching, and yarn.
* Is forbidden from engaging in catnip after the fact that it results in Andrea going completely crazy.

Stupid

* Has split personality disorder with the other self being a mammothly intelligent super computer.
* Is actually the Lord of Blades.
* Having originally been created by Ketler, the Lord of Blades fled the ship and began to raise his warforged army when the crew assaulted him and delivered a rather nasty blow to his central circuits that has left him off ever since.
* Plots the death of all the meat bags underneath his 'Scholarly' persona but becomes too lazy and dumb to carry them through when 'Stupid.'
* Has an e-mail romance with Shodan from System Shock.
* Is believed to have Cheese living inside his empty stomach region (with an interior hatch so he can leave at any time).
* Has more armament than Boba Fett.
* Because his stupidity is a result of being hit with a bat by Jarlot, is obsessed with finding the 'Bat man' in order to tear him limb from limb.
* Real name is THX-1138.
* His role-models are Hal the Supercomputer, Master Control, and Skynet.
* Is routinely treated like a valet and baggage boy by Michael and Dooj whom routinely kidnap him or otherwise abuse him for their pleasures.

Michael

* Raised by the Cult of the Dragon Below in the Sharn Wall. Michael is a Cyrean by birth.
* Michael is actually probably a half-fiend.
* His father is implied to be a Pit Fiend or something equally powerful.
* Michael's devotion to evil is half-hearted at best and his Blackguard status seems more due to his pedigree than genuine commitment to darkness.
* Michael is Brianna's half brother and thus surprisingly devoted to 'Aerith.'
* Michael has numerous brothers (clones) that are all more intelligent, competent, and evil than he is.
* Michael and Dooj are best friends.
* Michael and Dooj originally joined the Forgotten Freedom to rob it.
* Michael's last name is Antipaladinius.
* He genuinely loves Lisa and most of his problematic come ones are the result of having no social interaction of a non-violent or twisted sort in his entire life.
* Michael's sword is called 'Destroyo' and is a +5 Unholy Avenger and actually intelligent. However, it refuses to talk to his wielder until he gets his act straight.
* Michael's mount was a nightmare that died of eating the chilli.
* Michael actually worships the Devourer instead of the Dragon Below and finds the cult seriously disturbing.

Dooj

* Half-Orc from the Eldeen Reaches
* Is the youngest of seven pups.
* Comes from a family of Gatekeepers.
* Is a former slave of House Thrask
* Is an atheist and thinks the gods were made up by corrupt priests. This in spite of encountering numerous hyperdimensional beings.
* Is so dense that all psionic influence from Quori to Masters of the Art are unable to influence him.
* Has a personality identical to Jayne from Firefly.
* Owes Michael a 'life debt' for getting him out of slavery.
* It is implied that Dooj's trumped up sexuality may not be the result of natural inclinations and his feelings veer towards Michael (who is unaware of this affection)
* Dooj has a heavy crossbow he calls Veera that shoots bolts of pure magical force that are quite powerful.
* Dooj is simultaneously terrified of Druids as well as disdainful of them due to his background.
* Dooj is one of the least loyal of the crew to Jarlot and has tried to betray the ship to the authorities, jump ship, rob it, and mutiny on several occasions.
* Is quite human in appearence save his tusk like underbite and batlike ears.

Lisa

* Paladin dispatched by Jaela to learn mercy and pennitence for her puritan like outlook.
* Is confused sexually.
* Is actually the daughter of the Royal Family of Thrane but her mother was burned to death for adultery while her father the King said he was seduced by magic.
* Was raised by the Church of the Silver Flame in a nunnery.
* Many of her hangups stem from this background.
* The Hammer +5 of Healing is actually a gift from Aerith whom was raised in the nunnery with her.
* Sleepwalks.
* Has an inespicable fondness for cute things and often will break down to snuggle Rooseveldt or other creatures of cuddles.
* Despite being on a holy quest, Cardinal Kronzen has blackened her name thoroughly and she's thus been found guilty of every crime imaginable in absentia (it's possible Kronzen is her real father).
* Lisa's commitment to saving lives and destroying evil has kept her paladin abilities and she's actually reaching very powerful levels.
* Her faith in the Silver Flame is real even if confused by the messages she get from the Church and the Flame directly.

Brianna aka Aerith

* Was stolen from a destroyed cell of the Cult of the Dragon Below by a paladin of the Silver Flame and thus raised by them.
* Is surprisingly not a Cleric of the Flame but has converted to the Sovereign Host.
* Is a half-elf.
* Aerith is the name of the Solar Deva while Brianna is her bodies' name.
* Is a former girlfriend of Jarlots but left to fight evil.
* Has been ressurected on numerous occasions and the result is a very disassociated personality from reality.
* Flavors her potions of healing with Snapple.
* Secretly loves Jarlot but also loves :coolcthul
* Is perennially chipper but actually quite observant and smart.
* Staff of Striking is her preferred weapon
* Is also aware she's an RPG character but thinks she's a computer game character.
rampant

04-13-06, 08:06 PM		Has an aversion to grey haired warriors with overcompensating swords.

Chalky
- Changling barbarian/warshaper/reachrunner
- Acts like he's a shifter (specifically werewolf descent)
- Loves art especially chalk and paint
- Mischevious streak especially around moonspeaker holidays
- Little patience for those he considers weak
- Does not consider eating weaklings to be cannibalism since he is "strong"
- Moderately religious
- Wants to eat squishy
- Has a rapport with the ninja onboard

Kithle
- Ex-Member of the Chameleons
- Known for annoying the hell out of powerful people
- Posseses an unnatural array of abilities from Ithilid savant and chameleon levels, but rather fragile
- Cunning and precise, likes to control the flow of events especially in battle.
- Designed Satnaks Diety Buster Arm
- Has a soft spot for troubled coulples from his own romantic tragedy, involving an angry mob and his girlfriend.
- Considers mimicry an art, and respects Kanatash, Chalky, Andrea, and Terra as fellow artists, albeit of diffferent disciplines.
- Doesn't tolerate being talked down to, and with Satnak on call even Syberis isn't going to make that mistake.
- Is deathly afraid of the day he qualifies as something on Satnak's Zorch list.


On Deck:

Satnak - ALL RIGHT YOU WORHTLESS WASTES OF CHILI. SIGN UPS ARE CLOSED, STARTERS READY, TOKENS ACTIVE, TOTEMS IN PLACE. LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-13-06, 08:09 PM		OOC: Quite helpful. Here's mine.

Terra

*Highly successful drugrunner (rumors indicate she is much more)
*Very secretive and dislikes being touched without consent
*Joined the crew for 'inspiration', now uses them as guinea pigs
*Has an abberation, 'Not-Walter', for a companion animal
*Got him during a trip through Xor'iat about 30 years ago
*Apparently liked the place
*Current personality is a combination of her original and an imprisoned soul from Not-Walter
*Hates the Quori with a passion
*Enjoys screwing with people, but is quite sensible when danger arises
*Lesbian, has a thing for Lisa
*Hates Michael for the above reason
*Leader of a spy network made up of Eberron's non-sentient animal life
*Currently working with Kithle towards the Illithid Empire for unknown reasons
*Little is known about her past other than she has traveled with Volrath and Muradin for a good part of the last half-century
*Though evil and spiteful, does not usually hurt anyone without good reason
*Seems to be a treasure trove of rare items, claims she can get more - for a price
*Has the aggrivating ability to tell the truth and tell you nothing at the same time
Kinger

04-13-06, 10:05 PM		Though I originally named him "Doog" (with a g) to begin with, I believe that's also the name of one of the WotC admins (Wotc_Doog), so it's probably best like this. :)


Dooj

* Half-Orc from the Eldeen Reaches
* Is the youngest of seven pups.
* Comes from a family of Gatekeepers.
* Is a former slave of House Thrask
* Is an atheist and thinks the gods were made up by corrupt priests. This in spite of encountering numerous hyperdimensional beings.
* Is so dense that all psionic influence from Quori to Masters of the Art are unable to influence him.
* Has a personality identical to Jayne from Firefly.
* Owes Michael a 'life debt' for getting him out of slavery.
* It is implied that Dooj's trumped up sexuality may not be the result of natural inclinations and his feelings veer towards Michael (who is unaware of this affection)
* Dooj has a heavy crossbow he calls Veera that shoots bolts of pure magical force that are quite powerful.
* Dooj is simultaneously terrified of Druids as well as disdainful of them due to his background.
* Dooj is one of the least loyal of the crew to Jarlot and has tried to betray the ship to the authorities, jump ship, rob it, and mutiny on several occasions.
* Is quite human in appearence save his tusk like underbite and batlike ears.

I must say... A lot of stuff must have happened in this thread that I was unaware of... Particularly the part where Dooj turned dumb. To me, there's enough crew members stupid enough to defy Quori domination that we can give Dooj at least a reasonable IQ.

I wrote Dooj grew up in Sharn, but being born in the Eldeen Reaches works too. Probably born a Reacher, enslaved, escaped with Michael to Sharn, thugged around for a while, then tried to rob the FF. That sounds about right.

Dooj's preferred weapon is his greatclub Genevieve, actually, unless someone's given him that crossbow of magic missiles and I just didn't read it...

I do like the part about he and Michael initially joining the Forgotten Freedom to rob it, though. :)
Charles Phipps

04-13-06, 10:51 PM		The crossbow was my mistake, trying to remember Genvieve.

Good stuff and corrected.

;-)

Glad to see you're back.
JakeQuistis

04-13-06, 11:00 PM		Allen

*Does not consider himself the greatest Artificer, just better than that insane human because he's lived longer.
*Hasn't drank anyone's blood or made any spawns since coming on board.
*Believed to human by some, due to the fact that he has none of the normal vampiric weaknesses or tendecies.
*Has been seen with Andrea on several occasions, although no one knows what they have been doing together. It was presumed to have something to do with Andrea's necromancy and the fact that Allen says he is a vampire.
*Unknown birth, but he says he has (un)lived for over two thousand years.
*Seems to have an uncanny knack to join the winning side of any conflicts on the ship.
*Often is not seen for weeks at a time after the Forgotten Freedom has docked at a town.
*Is one of the few crew members not annoyed by Pholly/Phollie, and who could tell the difference between the two before it was revealed.
*Is one of the many crew members who like the taste of Norbaz's chili.
Phantomcrossing

04-14-06, 01:12 AM		OOC: And speaking of the cooky.

Norbaz The Cooky

*Born in Xendrik to a hill giant mother and a captured but escaped archeologist from Morgrave University researching the ancient ruins there. Norbaz's mother tracked the father down after his birth to shuck off the "Ugly little runt" (by Hillgiant Standards) to his care.
*Raised in Sharn by his father, Cleminus Alanot, a Morgrave Scholar for the first five years of his life.
*Witnessed his father's death at the hands of a servant of the Drow Scorpion god, for suposive crimes of removing a sacred artifact (that was never their's to begin with) from territory they occupied.
*Left to the streets of Sharn, Norbaz grew up in the lower cogs, learning theivery to stay alive. Eventually saved up enough to obtain an apprenticeship under the chef of a down and out restaurant somewhere in the lower district.
*Surpassed his teacher, learned from others.
*Discovered the identity of the drow that killed his father, as a frequent diner at a restaurant for adventurers. Set out to apply for a position there, did so, and was able to watch him die less than an hour after eating a "delicately prepared" dish.
*Greatly impressed a member of an assassins guild while doing so, and subsequently was offered an apprenticeship. Began the work of an assassin and the work of a traveling cook scholar as he traveled the five nations in secret during the tail end of the war.
*Learned the cuisine of Breland, Thrane, Aundair, Karrnath, Talenta, and Cyre.
*Eventually hired for an attempt against King Boranal, however encountered Captain Jarlot who had shown up to throw a "*****ing Kegger" and wound up joining in on the fun. Instead of killing Boranal, wound up a crewman on the Forgotten Freedom after loosing a drinking game to Captain Jarlot...the game was aptly titled "Drink the Beer".
*Is a master chef, but prefers to cook with alchemical augmentations and testing his new poisons or "creations". In doing so, perfected the 12 alarm chili for which he has gained notoriety.
*Has a longstanding appreciation for "bookish" women, having been shown great kindness in his youth by a Morgrave Librarian before his father's murder. Has had a longstanding crush on Andrea but has never been able to act on it or approach it due to his own reservations.
*Enjoys just relaxing and the company of the other crewmembers, sometimes listening to problems, other times just participating in the unusual goings on.
*Ever since his encounter with Aerith, has had doubts about one half of his chosen profession.
rampant

04-14-06, 04:18 AM		Satnak - WHATS WRONG WITH YOU CRETINS I SAID LET THE GAMES BEGIN START MURDERING EACH OTHER WITH YOUR BARE HANDS ALREADY.

Lisa - The part that scares me, is that despite that she's still one of the nicest people on the ship.

Chalky - Its good to see a human with thee right idea. Too bad she couldn't play.

Lisa - That thought is worth a few blood soaked nightmares.
Albert

04-14-06, 09:33 AM		At some point, Michael is in his room, drinking heavily. Aerith shows up, shakes her head fondly, and taps him on the forhead. He is instantly sober.

He springs to his feet. "WHAT THE HE- oh, Aerith. Whadaya want?"

She hugs him. He hugs back, and blinks furiously to get rid of that sudden speck of dust that seemed to have gotten into his eye. Well, both eyes. She steps back and looks at him.

"Mike, if you need to cry, go ahead. No one can spy on you right now."

Michael shakes his head. "No thank you. And only Brianna gets to call me Mike."

"I am Brianna."

"No, you're Aerith."

"No, I'm Brianna. Aerith - she helps me stay happy, but Devas . . . well, they aren't so concerned with staying happy all the time. Joy, yes. But not happiness."

Michael snorts. "There's no difference. Brianna, I've lived in the world. Happiness and joy are the same thing, and the only way I've ever felt it is by doing something evil."

Aerith tilts her head. "Predatory instinct. Adrenaline rush. Fight/Flight/F**k. Chemical high. That is not what your sister feels. And if you are so addicted to that transitory state, why do you spend so little time in it?"

Brianna to Aerith: *Aerith! Stop being mean!*

Aerith: *You don't have unlimited time in this session. Now you won't waste 30 minutes getting to the point.*

Michael: "YOU ANGELIC B***H! WHAT THE H**L DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT I FEEL?"

Brianna: "She has an advanced degree in what she calls 'Sophont Brain Chemistry'. She hasn't been through it herself, but she knows all about it."

Michael: "Grrrrr . . ." *sigh* "All right, what's the difference?"

Brianna: "Which difference?"

Michael: "Between your happiness and mine. Duh."

Brianna: "I really don't know. I don't destroy for the fun of it."

Michael: "If you want to be a stuck up b***h about it, you can leave."

Brianna: "No, seriously. I don't get the thrill you do. But . . . I think you do know what my kind of happiness is."

Michael: "Really."

Brianna: "Michael, why did you almost break down into tears when I hugged you?"

Michael: *long pause* "I- "

Brianna: "You know the problem with taking evil seriously? I mean this whole Adversarial approach that's the heart of the alignment."

Michael: "What?"

Brianna: "There's only room for one winner - one person who can be 'happy', your kind of happy, most of the time. If he's not too busy looking over his shoulder for challengers. Everyone else has to keep an eye out for a stronger predator."

Michael: "So, what, we stop competing, stop fighting, stop living?"

Aerith: "We have never told you - and I include all sophonts here - what you must do. Only what you ought to do. Further, the competetive instinct is why games and tournaments exist. The Good purpose of civilization is to weave instinct, desire, and drive into a harmonious whole."

Michael: "Only what we ought - yeah, right. Your churches do nothing but make people live by their dumbass laws."

Brianna: "I know, they can be so mean about it."

Aerith: "We teach correct principles. It is up to sophonts to govern themselves. Admittedly, they often make a botch of it, but Heaven is not in the business of coercion. Your society's flaws are yours to correct. Or deepen, if that is your preference."

Michael: "Ours to correct?! You just proved that you don't know a d**n thing about mortal life."

Aerith: "I did not call the task an easy one. That does not make it unworthy of attention. My apologies, Michael, but this visit must be cut short. Jarlot is about to do something foolish."

Brianna: "Uh-oh, maybe I shouldn't have teased him about :coolcthul. Even if he is so cuddly."

Michael: "Whatever."

Brianna: "Michael, one last thing. You're lousy at plotting, and you know it. Why are you on the team where you have to plot if you don't want to be on the bottom rung?"

Aerith leaves.

Michael: " . . . . I need a drink."
Phantomcrossing

04-14-06, 10:04 AM		Lisa sits alone in her chamber. Racking her armor and hanging her warhammer on the wall. Cautiously she goes over and locks her door. When she is confident in its security she takes out the first of the three bottles of truthwine Norbaz gave her. Sighing in self defeat and a desire to sort out her feelings, she takes the first sip.


.....TBC

OOC: I don't feel like I have the right to decide what Lisa's truth is, please someone pick this up.
Albert

04-14-06, 10:43 AM		I'd go with bisexual. Just to prolong it a bit more. Bisexual _and_ attracted to both, which explains a good deal of why she's conflicted. Naturally, there's no chance of a threesome. And I don't see Terra agreeing to share Lisa on an every other night basis.

Terra's evil. Right now, so's Michael, but he's starting to look at switching. Dunno how that'll turn out. A long-term relationship means either Lisa has to change, or her lover has to change, or Lisa has to live in denial.

This can go on for a while, if we want it to.

-Albert
Kaizer_Ryu

04-14-06, 10:57 AM		Something I should mention. I feel the reason Terra is so mean to Michael is because he has been bothering and continues to bother Lisa so much. It's kind of like Terra's defending Lisa's honor or something, in her own twisted way. If Lisa would really be happier with Michael, she might be willing to step aside. However, don't think she'll just accept this lying down. Terra wants Lisa to be happy with her, too.

Oh, and definitely no sharing. :D
Phantomcrossing

04-14-06, 12:20 PM		but the question remains. Do we actually decide on what she realizes over the course of 20+ does of truth wine (Dragon Compendium I, Alchemical items section) or do we leave it in the dark and let her become more distraught over what she learns?
Albert

04-14-06, 12:51 PM		Here's my answer. If people don't like it we can retcon it out of existence.



The next morning:

Lisa comes into the mess hall with an enormous hangover, and gives Norbaz an extremely sour look as she sits down.

Norbaz: "Did it work?"

Lisa: *mumbles something*

Norbaz: "Sorry to hear that. Do you need more?"

Lisa: "No, it worked."

Norbaz: "Ah. I, ah, assume it took so much wine that you decided not to go to the lucky crewmember's room last night?"

Lisa: "There is no luck in this."

Norbaz: "Oh? Did you find out that you want someone else? If it's Jaela, I think we've laid in a stock of potions to cure that."

Lisa: "D**n you for making me think of her like that. No, it's not Jaela. It's not someone else."

Norbaz: *shrugging* "Well, that's all the prying I'm going to do this morning. If you feel like talking, I'm sure there are a couple of scryers hoping you'll start naming names."

Lisa: *thinks about it* "Terra, maybe Kanatash or Andrea, Jarlot if he's aware of this mess, Ketler and whoever has a betting pool set up."

Norbaz: "You can tell?"

Lisa: "No, that's just the obvious ones."

Norbaz: "So, you think Michael's not interested enough?"

Lisa: *snorting* "No, he's interested. It's just that when I went to his cabin last night, he was passed-out stinking drunk."

A howl of sheer rage resonates throughout the ship.

Lisa: "I thought about heading over to Terra after that, but I couldn't work up the nerve."

Norbaz: "You want both of them?"

Lisa: *sigh* "Let's just say I'm open to either possibility. And I wasn't going to do anything with Michael, I just wanted to talk with him. He did come forward first."

Norbaz: "You know those roses you were getting were from Terra, right?"

Lisa: "Norbaz, on this ship, annonymous roses mean stalker, not too shy."

Norbaz: "Point."

Lisa: "So, did you win anything in the pool?"

Norbaz: "Actually, no one predicted you'd go both ways. Well, there was one annonymous bet, but no one's admitted to it."

ELSEWHERE

Brianna: *Ae, is it really all right to cash in on that bet?*

Aerith: *Yes. Now focus, Lisa is going to need support in the coming weeks and we are likely to be a big part of that.*

Brianna: *She'd better not gossip about doing the icky thing with my brother.*

Aerith: * . . . It's going to be fascinating if you and Jarlot get together. Besides, peeking under the covers was merely anticipating a potential interaction in the future.*

ELSEWHERE

Michael is still drunk, still asleep, when he receives the benefits of a spell that neutralizes the stuporous effects of alcohol without removing the hangover. Then a foot smashes into his groin. A fist to the stomach helpfully completes the wakeup process.

Terra watches him writhe around, choking up blood and vomit, for a full five minutes before leaving.

About half an hour later, Michael is mostly cleaned up.

Michael: "Okay, what do I do about this? Kill Terra? Go to Lisa for healing? Talk to Bri?"

A few minutes pass.

Michael: "Y'know, the h**l of it is, I deserved that. Terra went Epic a couple of weeks back, she's strong enough to do whatever she wants. Or, if I go by a 'Good' system, I've done enough **** to merit that a thousand times over."

A few more minutes pass.

Michael: "F**k this, I'm going to get breakfast."

-Albert
rampant

04-14-06, 12:51 PM		Satnak - I can, and will zorch the everluvin drama out o'ya.

Dawn breaks and the first string teams move into position.

CHalky ans Smig share the traditional pregame handshake, and smig pulls back with a sore paw.

The teams dissapear into the rigging or underdecks of their respective sides.

The game begins finally.

From Smig's team PHollie is the first to cross into Chalky territory, as he draws near the bow of the ship, Pholly leaps from hiding growling and snarling doing his best impression of himself as an abberation and failing miserably, the encounter quickly dissolves into savage mini brawl, with bitting and hair pulling.
Albert

04-14-06, 12:55 PM		Okay, pause a sec. Let's say that the game happened the day before, and go through that before moving forward on anything else.

-Albert
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-14-06, 02:21 PM		I think you're on your own with the game, rampant. Most of my guys aren't up yet, and anyway I've always had a problem with action scenes. I can't even do Igor as a ref because that would require me to think about action scenes. However, I'll keep out of the thread until you're done.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-14-06, 04:29 PM		heres a condensed fact list for Sa'vor about his psycology and background for all those confused readers out there.

Sa'vor
Half-fiend,Half deep dragon, Valenar elf.
Classification: UBER, Heir of Sibryes, Warlock

* Sa'vor's the last heir of Vol, the last living/unliving bearer of the mark of death.
* Sa'vor's familiy escaped from the massacar of their house.
* Sa'vors mother ( a deep dragon) was banished from argonesson and forced to gaurd the Imprisoned Arch-Deamon Naz'roth.
*Sa'vors half fiend nature is from exposure to fiendish energyies most of his life.
*Sa'vors warlock powers are derived from this fiendish energy.
* was tourtured and looked down apon by society as a child.
* in a fit of bloody murderous rage he slew his Cousin and devoured his heart.
then hid in his mothers lair
*Sa'vors mother was slain by adventurers. in this fight sa'vor was knocked uncosious and awoke in a pool of his mothers draconic blood.
* Sa'vor then accepted Naz'roths promise of vengance and was joined with him body and soul
* Sa'vor faught in the last war as an Assassin and warrior, cutting bloody swarves of the enemies of Cyre.
* lying nearly dead after the day of mourning, Sa'vor was driven into psycosis. rescued he slew his rescuewer and found his love of fire and elemental powers.
* Sa'vor joined the forgotten freedom for a chance to spread some serious evil. created a plot to gain the Gauntlet of Undying legions during a bank raid, this would restore Naz'roth to his full power.Jarlot and the crew defeated them and Sa'vor discovered the Sarlonans had the guantlet.
* some time later he was caputred by Xull one of Naz'roths fellow arch Deamons.
* a large battle ensued with Xull's minions. eventualy they and Sa'vor where destroyed.
* Sa'vor then appeared in the planes and spent almost three years on each plane being tortured, experimented on or chased down by shadowy powers.
* Sa'vors time on mabar gave him his Living/undead status.
* Sa'vor is the "Guide" to create the Illithid empire with Kithle as leader.
* Sa'vor does not seem to have feelings for any of the crew members though seems to spend a lot of time with slip.
* Sa'vors mind was once shattered and split into multiple personalities. these where then gathered together to form the Sa'vor known today.
* Naz'roth no longer dwells within Sa'vors mind.
*Sa'vor despises Pholly, though the reasons for this are unknown
Charles Phipps

04-14-06, 04:57 PM		Doog: Errr.....I just want you to know something Michael. Umm....I...love you.

Michael: Wha?

Doog: In those colors! Those colors!

Michael: Ummm...okay.

*looks to the side*

Doog: Who am I kidding? The BOATHOUSE was the time.

Michael: Righto....

*backs away slowly*

Brianna: It's okay Doog, we'll continue to help you get in touch with your feelings.

Doog: Oh hell, the only feelings I want to get in touch with is the ones telling me to bust up the side of your head wench!

Brianna: *anime adorable eyes*

Doog: Don't think that works on me. Listen here folks! What we need here is a new Captain! One who ain't touchy, feely, friendly, and who ain't got these silly dilly rules things! When I'm Captain, ANYTHING GOES! We'll pillage, plunder, and rob our way across the Five Nations and we'll shoot anybody who gets in our way! The first thing we gotta do though is get rid of that pompous overfed lech in charge here! Whose with me in tossing him over the side!?

*raises club*

Doog: Yeah?

*crickets chirp*

Brianna: We're in port. Lisa's at church, Michael just left to go to temple, Jarlots at Brothel, Andrea is at graveyard, Marish is getting a petticure, Ketler is getting some widgets, Terra is killing some evil capitalist exploiters of House Cannith, and so on.

Doog: Well who is here!?

Ninja Jaela: I'm with ya!

Doog:....you just keep walking girl.
Charles Phipps

04-14-06, 05:49 PM		Slip
* Her real name is Messalina D'Lyrander.
* Slip wears boy's clothes to disguise her immense beauty.
* Slip's actual reasons for running away are kept secret.
* Slip has the peculiar ability to be completely unnoticed in a room.
* The Captain still denies she exists.
* A Wand of Forgetfulness is often employed to make people forget about her.
* It has to do with her past these extreme measures.
* A bunch of mysterious WiBs are seen constantly looking for her (Wizards in Black)
* The Captain is deluded that she has a crush on him.
* Slip has a telepathic bond with the elementals (and demons) that power the ship.
Chrys

04-14-06, 05:56 PM		I thought she Was a Para-dust Gensi Spell jammer ace? :confused:
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-14-06, 05:59 PM		On the Forgotten freedom reality is mutable, and what the editor says goes
Charles Phipps

04-14-06, 07:20 PM		Jarlot *pounds up the notice*

Slip: You're making STUFF *UP* about me?

Jarlot: It's the only way to disguise your existence.

Slip: Listen you rowdy pirate. I was a Captain in the ELVISH NAVY of Spelljammer, do you know what that means?

Jarlot: You served the one Space Navy even more laid back, sex obsessed, and drunk on berry wine than Starfleet?

Slip:....yes. I fought ships of Beholders, destroyed Neogi Slavers, piloted THE Spelljammer, and have dealt with Arcane!

Jarlot: I thought everyone played Spelljammer solely to get from Krynn to Toril.

Slip: SHUT UP!
Rei32491

04-14-06, 07:58 PM		Volrath is talking to Nalfein in a hallway.

Volrath: So, both Allen and Sa'vor refused to make you into a vampire?

Nalfein: ... Shut up.

Volrath: No, I will never let this die.

Nalfein: Shut up or else.

Volrath: NEVER! I LAUGH AT THEE! :evillaugh HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Nalfein: THATS IT! :headexplo FIREBALL!!!

Volrath: S**T!

Volrath dodges the fireball, completely unscathed.

Nalfein: Wait, I didn't know that Warlocks/Artaficers/Flesh-grafters got the dodge feat.

Volrath: ... Oh, oh they don't. Wait then I still take half-damage -

After Volrath says that, he bursts into flames.

Volrath: MY HAIR IS ON FIRE, MY HAIR IS ON FIRE, MY HAIR IS ON FIRE, MY HAIR IS ON FIRE, MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!!!!!!

Volrath then runs down the hall to the restroom, which is past the female rooms.

Lisa, Andrea, Marish, and Terra see Volrath running by, his clothes burning away.

The Girls: ... (collective shudder)
Kaizer_Ryu

04-15-06, 12:56 AM		OOC: When I was listing some of Terra's character points, I noticed that I have actually said very little of her past. Therefore, I hereby present to you the first installment of said backstory (I have quite a lot).

IC:

Terra: So, what did you want to talk to me about?

Lisa: Well...when I was thinking things over, I realized that I know very little of you before you came aboard.

Terra: And you'd like me to fill you in...

Lisa: Well, yeah.

Terra: All right. But instead of telling you, I can just show you.

Lisa: How?

Terra: I'm Psionic now. We do this a lot.

Lisa: Oh yeah...

Terra: I'll show you a memory from my early adventuring days. This may help you understand where Volrath is coming from, too.

(The following flashback is seen through Terra's eyes. Anything in italics is current, everything else is memories.)

Lisa finds herself in a forested area during what appears to be early summer. A little ways in front of her is Volrath, and around her she sees Muradin, a female elf, and a male half-orc.

Lisa: Who are they?

Terra: Some old friends of mine. The elf is Urial, and the half-orc is Garr. Urial was a necromancer, reminds me a lot of Andrea minus the trying to kill me part. Garr was a fighter. Think Muradin, only without the penchant for smashing things.

Urial: Say, Volrath. How much further to the village?

Volrath: Just over that hill, c'mon!

The party hurries after him, coming to a halt just outside a small village. The architecture and clothing suggest a Thranish frontier town.

Garr: This your home?

Volrath: Yeah. It's not much, but this is where I was born.

They head toward a dilapidated house near the edge of town. On the way, several villagers recoil in fear and run away when they see Volrath. They hear several whispers regarding the "cursed child." When they enter, they see that the inside is dark and dusty, and the windows appear to have been smashed in. Volrath runs off to a room in the back, and the party follows.

Volrath: (softly) Hi, Mom. I'm home.

In the room, they see a human woman, approximately in her forties, lying on a bed in the fetal position. Her eyes stare blankly into space and she doesn't respond to his voice as she rocks jently back and forth.

Lisa: (concerned) What happened to her?

Terra: The Thranish Inquisition. They tortured her relentlessly until she broke down, leaving her in the state you see here.

Lisa: Why? What did she do that was so horrible?

Terra: She gave birth to Volrath, and tried to protect him and his sister when they came for them.

Lisa: ...

Volrath's attempts to get his mother's attention are in vain, and he walks out of the room disheartend. When they return to the living room, they notice a young woman peeking out of another door. At first, she appears deathly pale, but they soon realize she is an albino.

Volrath: Hi, sis.

The girl flinches, then slowly steps out of the room. She is soft spoken and easily frightened, never looking any of them in the eye.

Lisa: Is she okay? She's awfully skittish...

Terra: The villagers are frightened of her. They consider her to be a bad omen because of her complexion. Volrath told me earlier that she gets beaten whenever something bad happens.

Lisa: And what's this feeling? Pity? Sadness? No, something deeper...

Terra: More like kinship. I saw a bit of myself in her eyes. But that's a whole other story.

The party spends the night at Volrath's house. About midnight, a large commotion startles them awake. They heard Volrath's sister screaming while one voice calls out "Hang her! She brought the accursed one back to our village!" As they ran out the front door, they saw the mob dragging her toward a tree with a noose hanging from it. Volrath is the first to react, taking off towards the crowd, followed closely by the rest of them. In the ensuing carnage, Lisa can feel what could only be described as righteous fury from Terra. The villagers are cut down even as they try to hang the poor girl. In the end, only a few of them are left. Terra is holding the girl, her face buried in Terra's robe as she shakes in terror.

(back in the present)

Lisa: What were they thinking?! And why did you show me that?

Terra: That was the first time I ever spilled blood without remorse. I felt that, by helping her, I was somehow coming to terms with my own past. It helped define who I am and what I've done since then...

Lisa: I see...

Terra: Another reason is to show you that what is good and what is evil can depend greatly on your point of view. Those villagers honestly thought what they were doing was right. Thrane later called us some of the most vile creatures ever to walk Eberron. Sure, we went overboard, but you would have too in our position.

Lisa: Well, I...

Terra: I know you're not like them. Though you tend to be a little self-righteous, you also realize that the world is not as black and white as some would have you believe. At first glance, people like Volrath, Michael, and Kithle seem to be pure evil. But if you actually get to know them, they all have their good side. They just don't show it very well.

Lisa: ...I'm going to need to think about that for a while.

Lisa leaves, looking somewhat distraught. Kanatash floats through the wall.

Kanatash: You know, I did something similar a while back, and it only led to disaster...

Terra: You did it as a mind game. I'm doing it as someone who is genuinely concerned for her well being. Everything I showed her was the truth. What she felt was real. I only wanted to show her the tragedy that results from hasty judgement and assumptions based off of baised information. I think most of her frustration comes from the difference between what she's been taught to believe and what she knows is true.

Kanatash: Still, I hope you know what you're doing. The last time hurt (clutches his chest)...
Charles Phipps

04-15-06, 07:16 AM		Lovely work there Kaiser.

Worthy of inclusion in my books.

;-)

(were they...you know...fantasy and not sci fi)
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-15-06, 07:57 AM		Lisa is off wandering the halls, trying to come to grips with what she's seen in Terra's vision. At one point she passes Igor, and decides he's the best person to ask this off.

Lisa: Igor, I've got a question.

Igor: Yeth, mith?

Lisa: You must have spent a lot of time among evil. Did you ever hurt anyone?

Igor: Not intentially, mith. My job wath usually to keep them alive until my mathter dealt with them.

Lisa: Do you have any remorse for them whatsoever?

Igor: That would be a detracthion in my line of work. I am the motht neutral individual I have ever encountered: I thow no prefenthe for moralth or ethicth.

Lisa: But have you ever even thought just once that maybe there was a right and wrong way to do things?

Igor: Often, mith. There are tradithions of the villain—

Lisa: Not that! I mean, good and evil. You mean to tell me that you've never questioned whether your actions were evil? I mean, showing no remorse for those your master kills…how do you cope?

Igor: Do you feel remorthe when you kill a demon, or an abberration from Xoriat, or one of the Quori?

Lisa: But they're evil.

Igor: Have you ever athked why "evil" exithtth ath a palpable forth? Why you can thimply detect it with a thimple thpell?

Lisa: …………………no.

Igor: It ith tho convenient, ith it not, that evil ithn't tho hard to find. It exithtth independant of what we mere mortalth think. Therefore, if I therve evil—and what I do ith therve mayhem—there mutht be a reathon. Do you ever quethion the commandth of the Thilver Flame?

Lisa doesn't answer.

Igor: I onthe knew a man who killed a whole village becauthe he thought they were evil.

Lisa: Were they?

Igor: If you had catht "detect good" they would have shown up ath a shining beacon.

Lisa: But that's terrible!

Igor: To the man who did it, it wath juthtified. They had allowed the Thranith Inquithithion to kill the werewolveth living among them.

Lisa: ……………Were these werewolves good?

Igor: They had killed many people jutht for the theer joy of it.

Lisa: Oh, good.

Igor: But thith ith not why the Thranith Inquithithion came. They came only becauthe they were werewolveth.

Lisa: I'm guessing that man killed the villagers because they didn't defend the werewolves. Well, why should they have? Those were killers!

Igor: The villagerth didn't know thith. They thuthpected it, but only becauthe they knew the people were werewolveth.

Lisa thinks back to the vision Terra showed her. What if Volrath's sister had been a murder? Would that have justified her being hung for bringing Volrath back? What about Volrath's mother? Was it any different to kill someone for a crime you thought they had committed but they hadn't than a crime they had committed but you didn't know about?

Lisa: Did the man say why he killed all those villagers?

Igor: To make thure it couldn't happen again. And if you are wondering, he felt no remorth. He did it three more before guilt at hith acthionth overtook him. In the end he thaid, "You cannot kill people for being afraid. You thould thow them what there evil doeth." Of courth, he did not lithp.

Lisa: Well I'm glad…but what does that have to do with killing devils?

Igor: Why do you kill evil rather than change it? Unleth you are willing to kill the thource of evil, you have no hope of dethtroying it.
Chrys

04-15-06, 10:28 AM		Tifa Celes d’ Lyrander [AKA: The Ex, Mrs. Captain, That Crazy Marked Witch;]
Female Half Elf Fighter 1 /Wizard 4 / Spell-blade 5 / Storm Caster 10 (Uber, Exalted)
{CG, Worships the Fury}

Tifa was originally the captain-in-training aboard the Forgotten Freedom; until the day Jarlot show up to steal the ship. She was young impressionable and fell in love with him, for his reckless Bravado and All round Dashing Dasheyness. She stayed on a first mate (not knowing about Slip) and eventually (and due to her beating him at a dinking contest, yep for some reasons she can out drink Jarlot) married Jarlot [Yep he bet his bachelorhood].

Things where going great [in her mind until] until Jarlot saw the ‘Daisy selling Tart! Tm’ for the first time … and Then Aerith kicked her off her ship [in Reality Jarlot dropped her in chains in front of Stomehome,]! She later found out that that woman got outsider help… (That Damn solar!).

She has been trying to get back on the ship ever since but for some reason she cannot {Solar magic again), so eventually she figured out she need Outsider help of her own. So after Trying many different good outsiders, fey and elementals [she has Knight of the Stars feat and Nymphs Kiss feats and a Storm elemental grafted to her, Also the reason she still looks so young], but not of them could give her the power to deal with that man stealing witch.

After much seeking, she found a pair of magic Klurichir [Cr 30 demon] bound Khyber Gauntlets. After she put them on, she found that they permanently fused to her arms. She has it now ready to make her way back to re-win the heart of the man she loves… and stomp that Solar-loving ***** in to the ground!

* Knows deep down the Jarlot still loves her.
* Has a blind Hatred for Aerith; making her immune to any mind effecting stuff she does
*The Storm elemental bound to her skin lets her use her Mark more then normal
* Spent the last few years in Dread hold… for the crimes the crew of the FF, the House Lyrander just got her off… but she has to try to reform the crew as part of her release.
*The Klurichir is named Bob. And some time appears on Tifa shoulder arguing for evil acts… but ends up convening her to good.
*The weather changes with her mood some times.

**** Cut to the Deck of the FF ***

Slip is sitting on the deck trying to sun her self; When the sky Darkens.

Slip: What the …

Tifa walk on to the ship.

Slip: Oh F*ck she is back… I should go tell the captain…but I think it will be fun if she surprise him
Tifa to Slip: Hello, can you tell me where my Husband is?

Slip: At this time of Day, Passed out in his… your cabin.

Tifa: Bah, he was always such a lightweight.

Tifa Walks off to find her Husband.
Endless_Helix

04-15-06, 10:50 AM		Oh Boy!

Ajihazi
* Was an orphan Kalashtar in Fairhaven.
* Used to work the crime rings as a enforcer.
* Noted for his ability to move really, really fast. Was a bodyguard to Merrix d'Cannith.
*Is the last Kalashtar of his line.
* DD caught wind of him, and tried to possess him.
* The possession failed miserably, leaving Ajihazi insane and sociopathic.
* Developed five distinct personalities
--Ajihazi: This is his most common personality and is LE for the purposes of alignment. It has an obsession with destroying "The Trouser Titan" for it's mass slaying of infants. This personality is disturbingly literal, honest, and morose. Has an infatuation with Marish, but is too shy to say anthing about it.
--The Cavalier: This is his second most uncommon personality, and is LG for alignment purposes. Kanatash thinks that this is either his quori ancestor, or his super ego manifesting. The Cavalier has been known to save kittens, build tree houses for youngsters, and lecture crewmembers on the rewards of good. He claims to have the rank of Captain, and further claims that his name is Carrot. Ajihazi says that he is called the Cavalier, but neither can back up why they know of eachother.
--The Child: This is the second most common personality, and is CG for alignment purposes. This is essentially Ajihazi as a child. It enjoys games like "Go Fish", "Checkers", and for some unknown reason, Haz'rak.It also considers Marish it's mother. It often demands that Marish read to it. Marish thinks it's rather cute and often indulges it. It is illeterate. It tries to be helpful but will often screw up because of it's overenthusiasm.
--Maisy of Elm street: Captain Jarlot has declared talking about this personality a crime against nature, for unknown reasons. It has become almost completely buried. Kanatash suggests that this is Ajihazi's repressed libido manifesting, but is uncertain. It is distinctly female, and Ajihazi's body is distinctly male.
-- The Quori: This is the quori that tried to possess Ajihazi, but failed. It was driven insane by the process and believe that it will crush all the puny half-breeds and fleshlings, and will rule aver Khorvaire when the DD takes over. It doesn't like Not-Walter, and will react with a violent seizure if confronted with it. This has further extended to Terra, but not with a full-blown seizure, just a twitch. This personality will generally surface just after the Cavalier does something good, and then corrupt it. Kanatash is very wary of this personality because it nearly killed him the last time they tangled. His extensive study on this personality is freely available to anyone in the library, but no-one reads it. It drove the last redshirt insane and caused him to explode with a neon pink sound ten seconds after finishing the book.

* Ajihazi was discovered mumbling to himself in Sharn 12 years ago by Survadurvarash, who took him in and educated him in the way of the Soulknife. He also stabilized Ajihazi as the dominant personality.
* Ajihazi was brought on the ship because of how he could cut a melon into twenty-five pieces in the time it took for Jarlot to open his mouth to speak. He has since taken on the duties of
--Mascot
--Enforcer
--Insurance against Kanatash

*Ajihazi has blue hair, and is not schizophrenic, just sociopathic with multiple personalities.
*Still has his own room.
*Writes Haiku's to Marish, who can't figure out who their from, and never signs them.

Next: The Secret Origin of JOHN, The enlightened dire keel.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-15-06, 12:50 PM		Lovely work there Kaiser.

Worthy of inclusion in my books.

;-)

(were they...you know...fantasy and not sci fi)

I can't take total credit for this one. I took that from a scene Urial angel of death came up with from our current adventure. Not exactly the same, but close enough to need to thank him as well.
JakeQuistis

04-15-06, 02:41 PM		5167. There is no such thing as Materia
5168. Jarlot's nickname is not Cloud, because this is not Final Fantasy
5169. The fact that the two girls who are interested in him are Tifa and Aeris/Aerith is only a slight coincedence
5170. Jarlot does not know how to wield a sword larger than himself
5171. He does not have a rival named Sephiroth who wants to destroy the world
Kaizer_Ryu

04-15-06, 03:20 PM		Lisa sits in the galley, mulling over what she has seen and heard recently. Terra walks in and sits across from her.

Terra: I know you're busy, but I felt there was one more thing you needed to know. On some level, it may actually make things easier.

Lisa: ...ok.

Terra: Michael has said repeatedly that he feels churches are just tools to control the masses. Too often, this is true. But you must remember something. Churches are run by mortals, and therefore subject to their greed and prejudices. The gods, however, do not bend to their whim.

Lisa: What's your point?

Terra: Your status as a Paladin requires you to be faithful to the Silver Flame. I'm saying that, regardless of what the Priests of the Silver Flame tell you, you can defy the Church and still follow your god. You have seen that the theocracy is fallible. Thier word may be law, but it is not always the will of the Silver Flame.

Lisa: How can I know the difference?

Terra: That is for you and your god to work out. No one else but the Silver Flame can tell you what it wants. Blind loyalty to ones god must never translate into blind loyalty to ones church.

Lisa: I think I understand, but it's easier said than done...

Terra: Taking responsibility for your own actions never is. But unless you do, you may end up destroying yourself. I know this from personal expierience. Do not try to force yourself, though. When you are ready, you may find it easier than you think...

As Terra gets up, she takes Lisa's hand, kisses it softly, then leaves Lisa alone in her thoughts.
urial angel of death

04-15-06, 06:01 PM		Volrath is curled up in the fetal position. Tears are streaming out his eyes

Volrath : That nastly lady has got Terra, and I can't do anything about it.

He continues crying the tears start to harden, as they hit his body. The layers of hardened tears slowly build up in thickness. This continues until Volrath is completely covered in a crystaline cocoon. It has built up so thick, that all that can be seen of Volrath is a twisting dark spot.
Charles Phipps

04-15-06, 07:46 PM		Jarlot: I have the bad feeling that an ex-girlfriend is about to show up.

Ketler: Well that can't be too bad.

Jarlot: You don't know my ex-girlfriends.

Ketler: Hey, have you seen Stupid?

Jarlot: No, when was the last time you saw him?

Ketler: About three months ago.

Jarlot: Well I'm sure he's not becoming our archnemesis or anything....

***

Meanwhile at A.R.C.H.N.E.M.E.S.I.S headquarters

Stupid/Scholar: Muhahahahahahahahaha, at last I have rebuilt myself as the One True Lord of Blades. I am once more able to begin my work towards defeating Captain Jarlot and...

*puts his pink to his mouth*

Achieve World Domination.

Phollie: *having escaped the Forgotten Freedom as well* That doesn't make any sense whatsoever!

Stupid/Scholar: What do you mean? Bwhahahaha.

Phollie: What does defeating Captain Jarlot have to do with world domination?

Stupid/Scholar: He is the only opposition in my way to achieving it!

Phollie: Nevermind, you know, the armies of the governments and all....

Stupid/Scholar: Yes, exactly.

Phollie: I was being sarcastic!

Stupid/Scholar: It's simple really...

1. Destroy the Forgotten Freedom.
2. ???
3. World domination.

Phollie: That's not a plan at all!

Stupid/Scholar: That is why you're just a henchman.

Phollie: Ugh.

Stupid/Scholar: The Forgotten Freedom is also the greatest concentration of evil in the universe. By possessing its dimension hopping skills and enslaving its crew, I will possess unlimited power!

Phollie: That SORT of makes sense I suppose.

Stupid/Scholar: WHICH I WILL USE TO BUILD A LASER TO VAPORIZE THE WORLD!

Phollie: I thought you wanted world domination.

Stupid/Scholar: I do.

Phollie: Then why would you want to vaporize the world...where you know...we live?

Stupid/Scholar: You silly boy...

1. Vaporize the world.
2. ???
3. Rulership of the Universe.

Phollie: The Hell!?

Stupid/Scholar: I can see you're blinded by my intellect you puny fleshbag. I shall also release my mother Khyber from her imprisonment and then summon a meteor of some kind.

Phollie: Now you're just reciting the plot of Final Fantasy 7!

Stupid/Scholar: No, you see, we're a dream within a dream and if Aerith defeats the evil of the Great Enemy then she'll become it.

Phollie: Now it's FF10!

Stupid/Scholar: Some orbs are also involved plus gardens where we train mercenaries. It's all very complicated you know.

Phollie: Are you sure you should trust that Wizard who gave you brains? I think all he gave you was a diploma.

Stupid/Scholar: In any case, we shall eat their hearts and crazzap out their souls! Muhahahhahaa.

Phollie: I'm never going to escape the shadow of morons.

Stupid/Scholar: I see you've met my army then.

Phollie: Say what?

Stupid/Scholar: The moron clan of Orcs. Also I have Mikail, the evil Anti-Paladin, some Quori, and generally everyone else even more evil than the crew of the Freedom after them. It's all quite EVIL you know. Bwhahahahahhaa.

Phollie: Do you have some disease that makes you laugh like that?

Stupid/Scholar: Yes, the disease of EVIL.
rampant

04-15-06, 09:56 PM		Projection of Kithle - ROFL

Scholar/Stupid - Whats this? a spy!!

Phollie - its kithle

Scholar/Stupid - He knows our plans, he must die

Phollie - What plans?

Scholar/Stupid - DIE

PoK - Rofl

Phollie - its a projected image

PoK - haha... I though I would have... hahaha... keep an eye on you... haha... but now I see that your... not even... remotley threatening... Hahaha. *wheeze*...haha

Scholar/Stupid - Stop laughing at me

Phollie - uh oh

S/S - Full power to the astral annihalator.

Phollie - wait that isn't set up yet thats the...

*F-BWOOOOOOOOOOM*

Phollie - Selfdestruct

PoK - ROFL




back on the FF

Kithle - haha... Ametuer...Haha, *throat clearing noise* gotta deal with Volrath now. I swear I never get any Me-time.
Charles Phipps

04-15-06, 10:41 PM		*A flaming laser bolt of death then smashes through the Forgotten Freedom and it crashes...thankfully only two feet off the ground*

Jarlot: Kithle...don't mock the crazed Lord of Blades.

Kithle: He's so...mockable though.

Jarlot: I know but its tacky and he still unfortunately has huge weaponry.

Kithle: How you going to repair the ship anyway?

Jarlot: Meh, not my problem.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-16-06, 12:24 AM		The crash, though minor, has upset Terra's lab quite a bit. Several weeks of research lie strewn across the floor.

Terra: Son of a crap! I was so close to finishing...

While cleaning up, she notices the beaker she was working with on the floor. It seems to have miraculously survived with the contents largely intact.

Terra: All right! Maybe this wasn't a total disaster.

As she goes to pick it up, another vial rolls off the table and dumps some of it's contents into the beaker. Terra is unable to react in time.

Terra: NO!...crap...

It begins foaming as she picks up the vial. Reading the label, a sly grin crosses her face.

Terra: Ooooo...this could be interesting...
Kinger

04-16-06, 12:29 AM		Meanwhile, it seems a newfound passtime of crewmembers of the FF is to drink in solitude. While Lisa ponders her predicament over truth-wine, Dooj does something similar over truth-scotch, except that the truth-scotch isn't really truth-scotch, having absolutely no magical properties whatsoever, and is in fact ordinairy, mundane scotch.

The ship grinds to a halt after dramatically plummeting two feet to earth. Dooj rocks in his chair and steadies himself, pouring another scotch as the glass slides along the table. He snatches it from the edge and continues to fuel his drinking problem.

Normally a rather dextrous individual, it seems Dooj can't bring a glass to his lips to save his life. The half-orc snorts and splutters as he accidentally splashes himself in the face with scotch for the umpteenth time. "Damned drinking problem," he curses, pouring another. "This is my eighteenth glass and I'm still sober! I'm so thirsty!"

After several more failed attempts the frustrated (and wet) Dooj gives up and hurls the empty bottle across his room, where it shatters against a wall covered in posters of famous bards and pin-ups from the Sharn Inquisitive. He rubs one eye with the heel of one hand and laments his circumstances. Michael, who he'd felt so sure about, had... not rejected him, but didn't really seem to get it. The fella sure could be thick some times. That, and the first time Dooj had ever worked up the ambition to overthrow Jarlot and make something more of himself had failed miserably when nobody else was there to join him.

"Best accept it," Dooj mutters to himself, "And move on. A nice bit of brisket right about now would probably sooth the ol' ego..."

Fate, circumstance, pure dumb luck, or comedic timing decided this was an appropriate time for Tifa to open the door to Dooj's cabin. "Jarlot, are you in here?" she asks.

The half-orc springs to his feet, seemingly unsurprised by this woman's sudden appearance, nor unperterbed by her mentioning of the captain.

"'Fraid not, missy," he says, rather louder than necessary. "You're docking at a much finer port. I've a galleon here full of merchant seamen, so lift up your skirt and prepare to be boarded!" He planted his hands on his hips and begins thrusting in her general direction.

Tifa raises an eyebrow as the half-orc continues his crude gesture, hoping he realises how ridiculous he looks and stops on his own, ashamed. When the thrusting continues for more than twenty seconds and the thruster appears to have no intention of stopping she finally caves and averts her gaze, shielding with one hand her view of the obscene man. Her face takes on the expression of one fighting nausea. "I'm sorry, this must be the wrong cabin. I'm looking for my husband, Jarlot."

Dooj freezes, mid-thrust. "Husband?"

"Yes."

The half-orc straightens up immediately. "Oh, he's just down the hall, to the left."

"Thanks," says Tifa, closing the door behind her and quickly leaving, vowing never to think of this particular moment again.

Alone again, Dooj retakes his seat and lets out an exasperated sigh. Husband? She was married to Jarlot? And he, the mighty Dooj, nearly seduced her? That would not have ended well. It wasn't that he was adverse to knocking boots with a married woman, not even that of his... "commanding officer," but he knew Jarlot. Jarlot had standards so low it's disturbing. I mean, look a Marish! And Jarlot ran away from her? She must be terrible in the sack.
rampant

04-16-06, 05:36 AM		Kithle - ROFL

Sa'vor - He's been like this for hours.

Kanatash - He finds the concept of Stupid/Scholar as a threat amusing. Stupid is an iredeemable waste of scrap metal, while scholar may be a decent mage his brain was consudmed after kithle tricked him into turning into a bear. I admit that the idea of a combinant of those two having anything but a personality disorder funny. Throw in the Captain being the one chased in a relationship, and the relationship trouble amongst the crew... RIFL (rolling in the floor)

Sa'vor - Unholy shadows of mabar am I the sane one?
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-16-06, 07:17 AM		Igor: If you were thane, thir, you would not be on thith thip. Thrutht me, that'th why I'm here.
***
***
Meanwhile, Roosevelt is working on overdrive to try and repair the ship.

Roosevelt: *****, why, Kithle, why did you have to taunt the guy with the big gun? For all that brain power, you lack wisdom. Pass me another beam, will you Erk?

Erk: *grunts*

Roosevelt: I just hope they stay out of Lack of Brains's way long enough for me and Ketler to get this thing airborn again. You okay, Earl?

Earl (voice sounds a little weak): So close to freedom…

Roosevelt: Sounds fine.

Erk: *starts pointing furiously and grunting in a stream*

Roosevelt: You want to do WHAT? You actually think you can take the Crustacian (i.e. LoBster)? I know he's got as much brain power as a crab…actully, less…but he's probably got nameless henchmen, pits filled with various water carnivores, and traps that are…so……fiendishly clever…they're ridiculously easy to get out of………

Later on in Kithle's lab:

Kithle: You've got to be kidding me! Erk? Going to fight the Lord of Brainless? I mean, if it were anybody else…

Roosevelt: No, don't you see? Igor's been giving me lessons. The dumbest person on the team always has some hidden power that saves everything at the last minute.

Igor: It'th true. I cannot count how many timeth my mathter hath had their planth foiled by a boffoon doing thomething thupid at the latht thecond. Or all the timeth when they actually know thomething relevant. No villain ever accountth for it. It ith the power of tradithion.

Erk: *grunting in agreement*

Kithle: A moron to defeat a moron.………Makes about as much sense as anything else thihs ship's encountered. So what do we do?

Igor: He'll need a team conthithting of one thmart person—probably obthethed with gadgetth—one military person—or, at leatht, thomeone who ith good at blowing thtuff up—and one gorgiouthly attractive female.

Kithle: You sure about that last one?

Igor: They need not all be theperate people. But yeth.

OOC: Play the themes from James bond, Mission Impossible, and any other cliché spy flicks.
Chrys

04-16-06, 09:23 AM		Tifa Walks down the hall and enters the door... To see Jarlot setting at his desk working on a new adventure to put his players through.

When the Door opens he looks up...

Jarlot OH f*ck! I thought you were in jail.

Tifa OH don't silly snookie-wookums, the family Lawyers, it was not really all that Hard... I mean Uncle Mietar caught sleeping with two of Gilfar's daughter... and he only got 3 months.

Jarlot Well, Well look at the time... Its nice seeing to again, to bad you have to go again so soon...

Tifa Nope, I can't leave the ship, as part of my deal to get me off I have to stay aboard the ship and try to reform it and make it worthy of the House again... So I'm here to stay.

Jarlot ... But dear I'm only think of your saf...

Tifa I think you will Find I can take of my self. *Holds up her Gauntleted hand*

Jarlot But but...

Tifa She's still on the ship isn't she!

Jarlot *mumble mumble*

Tifa Jarlot Truth NOW!

Jarlot Yes...

Tifa Good that will give me a chance to put that Flower selling tart in her place... Oh honey How about you and I get together for drinks later.

Tifa then walks out of the room and says to her self: Now where am I going to find a Cleric on this ship.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-16-06, 12:23 PM		Terra arrives at Jarlot's cabin, knocks on the door and starts to open it.

Jarlot: GO AWAY! I'M BUSY!!

It is already too late. Terra sees him on the ground, a strange woman with a gauntlet has him completely pinned.

Terra: Uh...am I...interrupting something?

Tifa: Not at all! I'm just trying to get a straight answer out of my husband here. (turning to Jarlot) NOW WHERE IS SHE?! I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING HER SOMEWHERE!!

It takes a moment for what was just said to sink in as Terra hears the captain scream like a little girl.

Terra: :twitch: Wait, wait. You mean...you two are married?

Tifa: Oh yes. Isn't that right dear?

Jarlot: (currently having his arm twisted) OUCH! YES!

Tifa: Yes what?

Jarlot: AUGH! YES DEAR!

No longer able to hold back, Terra bursts out laughing. After about a minute, she manages to calm down enough to talk.

Terra: The great Captain Jarlot, *snicker* Bachelor Extraordinaire, is whipped?!

Jarlot: OW! You are so getting keelhauled for this...

Terra: And look at her! You ran away from her? You'd rather sleep with a bunch of shifter girls than her?

Tifa: :blush:

Jarlot: (impatiently) What did you want?

Terra: (still giggling) Never mind. I'll tell you later...

Terra closes the door and walks down the hall laughing.

Tifa: What's with her?

Jarlot: She plays for the other team...

Tifa: You mean...?

Jarlot: Yep.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-16-06, 12:38 PM		( Somewhere in the dark fortress dimension belongin to Sa'vor; somthing is awakineing)

( a huge cilinder filled with green liquid is surrounded by all manner of scientific equipment and a lightning rod. occult symbols are drawn around it and a large control panel covered with mabran runes glows omminusinly. Sa'vor wearing his black cloak and lab goggles works furiously switchin levers and pushin buttons on other keypads, A huge bolt of arcane energy strikes the tube. a black figure in the tube is illuminated. his feral and bulky appearence shows great strenght and ferocity. Sa'vor runs over to the mabran key pad and hits the "Life" rune. another bolt of arcane energy strikes the figure whom twitches. a third bolt strikes and the glass shatters, the green liquid drenches the room but doesnt affect any of the equipment.
Sa'vor smiles from his platform as the black scaled halfdragon stands there)

Sa'vor: its alive ! ITS ALIVE! ( maniacle laughter).

( the figure stands there, his claws flexing, Sa'vor hovers down to meet him)

Sa'vor: you are the first of a new generation! after my army was decimated i began to build them anew, and now, i have created you. the greatest of my serveants. capable of leading my forces in the name of the future emporer

Half -dragon: what is my name father?

Sa'vor: my child, you shall be named, Feal-thas

Feal-thas: as you wish, but what am i?

Sa'vor: In times of old, we, the half dragons where created through acts of love or rape or even experiments. our blood lines would become weaker and weaker with each new generation. we where not a species.

Feal-thas: and now?

Sa'vor: my son, we are now our own species, no longer part of another species, no longer second class citizens. we are strong, we are true. we shall make our own civilisation along side the illithids

Feal-thas: i see, are we stronger than the illithids?

Sa'vor: the illithids are our lords, we shall serve them and along side them we shall grow strong and prosperous. we shall march and proclaim our lords name.

Feal-thas: and we shall thrive!

Sa'vor: yes my son, we shall thrive!

Feal-thas: father, what should i do until then?

Sa'vor: Can you feel your magical powers?

Feal-thas: ( closes his eyes) They are there! i can feel them! they are already strong!

Sa'vor: then you shall perfect your skill with magic and arms, you shall school your brothers and sisters, you shall school your children and your draconic kind.

Feal-Thas: but how can we thrive if our people are of the same bloodline?

Sa'vor: i have thought of that, there are multiple bloodlines, with each coupling there will be new bloodlines born. come, i shall show you your brothers and sisters. of course, after you have dressed.

( in an hour Feal-thas folllows Sa'vor, he is dressed in black armour like ebony. its excuisitly made and mabran and arcane runes glow along it, Sa'vor leads them along a dark corridor to a balacany, below them is a huge pit. along the sides of the pit thousands more of the tubes glow with an emerald light. Feal-thas gaspes)
Sa'vor: yes my son, your brothers and sisters will need to be awakened. and you shall lead them.

Feal-thas: i shall perfect my skills for that day.

Sa'vor: exelent, i knew you wouldnt disappiont me.
Charles Phipps

04-16-06, 12:45 PM		Jacob Hunter: Ah thank the Gods! I'm now peacefully at home back here amongst the Dark Lanterns. No longer am I on that ship. The therapy bills alone are going to eat at my pension for years but the worst part is explaining my way out of fifty counts of high treason.

*starts on his immense amount of paperwork*

*Jarlot walks in*

Jarlot: I need your help.

Jacob Hunter: OH HELL NO!

Jarlot: I need you to arrest me.

Jacob Hunter: Get away from me man! I can't be seen with you anymore!

Jarlot: Listen, I need to get away from a girl. Lock me up, throw me in the deepest dungeon you can find if you have to...

Jacob Hunter: GUARDS!

Jarlot: Yes, guards, great idea! That'll make me being captured seem even easier.

Tifa: OOOOOOO SNOOKEMS! WHERE ARE YOU!?

Guards: OH NO! JACOB HUNTER IS ONCE MORE PLOTTING TREASON WITH THE DREAD PIRATE JARLOT!

Jacob Hunter: Oh Hell no!

Jarlot: Crap! She's found us!

Jacob Hunter: You've ruined my life...AGAIN!

*grabs Jacob and starts in a run*

***

*Marish is lying on Aerith's lap being petted*

Marish: I wonder why Tifa doesn't take a hint....

Aerith: Well it has to do with a prophecy actually...

Marish: Oooooooo.

Aerith: Yes, the Chosen One will bring balance to the Force.

Marish: I think that one's already taken.

Aerith: Yes but no one believes a 9 year old with superpowered bacteria who went onto be a psycho is the Chosen One, so they're looking for other candidates. Jarlot's whole "destiny" to rule everything also applies to his wife.

Marish: She's just a gold-digger?

Aerith: Well there's also the fact that me and Tifa have known each other since childhood and she tends to try and take whatever I have...

***

*Five year old Aerith, wearing a miniature version of her clothes in the present day complete with flower basket is playing with her barbie*

*Minature Tifa in similiar attire descends downwards*

Tifa: BANZAIIIIIIIIII!

***

Marish: The other cats in my litter were like that too.

Aerith: Plus there's one OTHER fact...

Marish: What's that?

Aerith: Well Tifa gets a little rough during sex....Jarlots the only one to ever survive.

*Marish BLINKS*

Aerith: At all.
rampant

04-16-06, 03:12 PM		Kithle - My word Sa'vor their bloody brilliant.

Feal-thaes - Ummmmmm?

Sa'vor - Gah I wasn't for you yet, but thanks?

Kithle - Though I do wish we had a species worthy of commanding them. Honestly, Sa'vor you know as well as I the IIthilid have already failed. We need rulers who will build a new empire not merely re-enact a failed experiment. I severely doubt this ithilid empire you wish to bring about will be ruled by actual ithilids. More than likely it will be run by my descendants and the descendants of those who aid my rise to power, and frankly I'm only half-flayer, and the rest of the flayers are arrogant, jumped up worms.

Sa'vor - what are you saying?

Kithle - I'm saying this ithilid empire you want so bad may only have one ithilid bloodline amongst the ruling class, Mine. Though technically you might call that an Ithilid EMpire. Anyway I trust they are not limited to arcane energies, therre must be a few here with psionic potencial or shadow magic capabilities. Ah yes those 3 and that tube on the end, very nice work. I trust your going to let me in on thier training I need to make sure they know what kind of hellion I am as a commander. (sneaky eye gleam)

Sa'vor - If you must. Wait a minute I know that gleam your about to be a total bastard.
urial angel of death

04-16-06, 04:16 PM		Volrath dreams in his cocoon.
??? : The time is drawing near. Even now you are evolving to your next form. Soon you will join your numorous cousins.
Volrath : But father, I still care for things of this plane.
??? : Let go of these feelings. They are not for you. Only by letting go of these things, can you achieve your birthright.
Volrath : But I truely love these things.
??? : Just as I loved your mother. Your presence only causes misery for those around you.
Volrath : All of the suffering has been caused by Thrane, not me. If they were to be destroyed, our kind would be the cause of no more suffering.
??? : Believe as you wish, but eventually you will lose hope as well.
Volrath slips into a deeper sleep. This one filled with dreams of his past suffering.
lostone

04-16-06, 04:32 PM		Still working my way through this list, I'm on page 3. I gotta ask, what is everyone's obsession with Jaela (and her 18 year old paladin sister I don't remember reading about)? I've only read the ECS, haven't had time to read the other books. Is there a picture I need to go look at or something? Or did that just start as a running gag when some character/player decided to be a sick perv?
Phantomcrossing

04-16-06, 04:43 PM		Norbaz scoffed as he pushed the cart through the halls of the Forgotten Freedom...someone would pay for this. He was a cooky, a chef, a master of the kitchen. Yeah he dished food out in the mess hall but this was inexcusable as far as he was concerned.

New Rule # ????: If a crewmember has not shown up for meals in two weeks or has not been seen in five days, the responsibility to have meals brought to those crewmembers rooms falls to whoever at the time is subordinate under the Cooky foor KP duty, if no one is assinged to KP duty, the responsibility falls upon the Cooky.

Pholly hadn't shown up for KP in three days, and Volrath, a ton of redshirts, and V had been missing longer. Now Norbaz found himself in the position of handing out Meals on wheels to all of them. As he knocked on Volrath's door, frost crackled across his knuckles and tore at his skin.

Norbaz: ARGH! What in khyber?

Chucking a bowl of fresh chili at the frozen door, the wood splinters, cracks, and steams before falling away. Inside is the crystal coccon filling most of the room. Norbaz stands there a moment, mouth agape at this sight. Realizing that this was beyond his scope to deal with, he went off in search of those who might know...or in this case, one who might know.

Terra sat in her lab, going over the practically accidental concoction that had now consumed much of her time as she realized and plotted its as yet known application. There is a loud knock at the door. Quickly she hides her work before answering.

Terra: Yes, oh, Norbaz. Any new reports on my last batch of test drugs?

Norbaz: Yeah, I finished them up this morning, gonna drop them off later. Listen, I was delivering some things by the new orders -

Terra: The captains meals on wheels plan for infirmed or missing crew?

Norbaz: Yes, actually. Well, on the list today was Volrath...and, well. You've known him a long time, and I think you need to take a look at this.

Shortly, Norbaz has brought Terra to Volrath's room. Due to the open door, many curious Redshirts got to close for too long, and are now shattered or semi shattered piles of crystal.

Norbaz: Argh...I'm probably gonna get stuck with cleaning this mess.

Terra: Quite...this is...quite fascinating...and very important. I think it would be wise to start gathering the casters still onboard.

Norbaz: Even the ones you aren't on good terms with?

Terra: Everyone...this is important, and we'll need everyone we can to ensure Volrath survives as we knew him...and if we cannot, ensure that we are able to walk away from this alive.
Phantomcrossing

04-16-06, 04:50 PM		Still working my way through this list, I'm on page 3. I gotta ask, what is everyone's obsession with Jaela (and her 18 year old paladin sister I don't remember reading about)? I've only read the ECS, haven't had time to read the other books. Is there a picture I need to go look at or something? Or did that just start as a running gag when some character/player decided to be a sick perv?

Actually its a longstanding joke that stems from making fun of the concept of the lolita complex, and that Jaela has a ridiculously high charisma score for a kid. I can't remember who, but someone said that when she grows up she'll be hot. So we've taken it from there with a running gag, that's mostly reached the end of its ebb. When the forgotten freedom last found itself in the plane of dreams, the dreams of too many evil characters and fools from the multiverse force aged the one remaining Ninja Clone Jaela Clone to get flashed forward in age. But nothing else has really come of it since then...the joke must be dead...sigh... I thought it had more humor worth squeezing out of it, but, oh well.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-16-06, 06:20 PM		Igor is standing in on the balcony of the pit overlooking Sa'vor's halfdragon army.

Sa'vor (he seems a little giddy): Well, what do you think? I mean, you've served under practically every evil genius since Khyber.

Igor: Have you thaid "It'th alive, alive" or thome variathion of that at leatht onthe?

Sa'vor: Yes.

Igor: Have you monologued a thpeach about your viewth on halfdragonth that thounds like you had way too mutch time to come up with it?

Sa'vor: I can do it again, if you like.

Igor: Are you planning on addrething you army in front of a huge hanging banner reprethenting the empire you are therving?

Sa'vor: I'll make a note of it.

Igor nods approvingly.

Igor: It'th tho nithe to thee tradithion mantained.
Endless_Helix

04-16-06, 07:06 PM		Jarlot : What is Love?

A throbbing backbeat eminates from below the decks of the Forgotten Freedom.

Jarlot : Baby, don't hurt me,

Jarlot : No more, no more...

Jarlot : WHAT IS LOVE?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Volrath : What in Khyber is going on up there?

Klaz : Sounds like a swordtooth getting frisky, mate! Reminds me of this time out in the Talenta plains... I was huntin' around for a swordtooth with a stunning Shiela and...

Volrath : If you finish that statement in any other way than what's going on here and now, on the Forgotten Freedom, I will make sure that you never have to worry about finding dinosaurs, by making you one.

Klaz errr... The Captain thinks he's Elvis.

Volrath blinks.

Klaz : Look, I don't know who Elvis is either, mate, but apparently he's some poorly dressed bard with no ability to carry a tune.

Volrath : I see. Please stop calling me "mate", unless you really want to come over to my room at 9:00 tonight.

Klaz : You ain't scaly enough for me, bud.

Volrath : That can be fixed.

Klaz walks away very, very fast. Terra looks on with a interested curve in her eyebrow.

Volrath : Look, It got him to stop calling me "mate" and got him out of where he doesn't belong, so lets go see what "Elvis" wants, alright...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jarlot : OH YEAH!!!!!! Thang you, Thang you vureh much...

Ketler : Alright Elvis, two more for the money.

Jarlot : Who's the king baby?

Ketler : You are sir.

Jarlot : Thass right, I'm the king baby! Uh HUH!

Volrath and Terra have been joined by Kanatash, Kithle, Silence, Sa'vor, and Slip, and they all just walked around the corner.

Volrath : Uh, Ketler? Can I talk to you for a second?

Ketler : Yeah, sure. Take five, king.

Jarlot : BRING ME MY ALCOHOL!

Volrath drags Ketler behind the cabin and Silence gives him the PIMP SLAP O' DOOM!™

Volrath : WHAT IN XORIAT WERE YOU THINKING?! ENCOURAGING JARLOT TO SING?! ARE YOU MAD?!!?!

Silence : That singing, like, totally ruined my day. I am so going to have to read some of Devon's poetry to cheer myself up. OMG, why does the captain have to do it today? I mean, it's like totally the three week anniversery of finding out my adolescent crush that I've stalked for 12 years was, like, a multiple personality. Is Jarlot, like heartless or something?

Sa'vor : If he is, it's not my fault. It's Kithle's if Jarlot's brainless, though.

Kithle : I have more self respect than that.

Terra : Or is it the drugs I've been pumping into him with every meal?

Ketler : No,no, it's much simpler. This is a ploy to get his ex to divorce him. He's feigning insanity to get back into the "Happy Place for Overenthusiastic People", thus getting rid of Tira.

Kanatash : I'm going to have to assume that there's a reason for you doing this. Possibly because of our deal...

Ketler : Nah, I just thought about the raw destructive force of Jarlot's singing, and I was experimenting with maximizing Ghost Sound at the time, so I had the brilliant idea of combining the two. You see, Maximizing Ghost Sound and using Jarlot singing as the base sound... well basically it's a lot like combining shatter, earthquake, and insanity into one convientient package. And it's only a fourth level spell. I wonder what happens when I empower it too... hmm...

Terra, Kanatash, Volrath, Silence, Sa'vor, Kithle : Oh, okay. Carry on.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-16-06, 07:09 PM		Terra sits near Volrath as Norbaz summons the others. She attempts to speak with him telepathically, careful not to make total contact. She knew full well the danger of such folly.

Terra: Volrath, I know you can hear me.

Volrath: ...

Terra: I must apologise. I hadn't realized how hard you were taking my affection for Lisa. If it means anything to you, I never intended to leave you alone.

Volrath: ...

Terra: I know how much you hate Thrane. I spent twenty years trying to undo the damage they did to your mother.

Volrath: ...

Terra: But you must understand. If you hate every citizen of Thrane and every worshipper of the Silver Flame simply because of what they are, not what they have done, you commit the same sin for which you hold them in such contempt.

Volrath: ...

Terra: I don't want you to leave. I can feel that you don't want to either. I can only do so much, and the final decision is up to you.
Charles Phipps

04-16-06, 07:34 PM		Aerith: *sigh*

:coolcthul: Aerith?

Aerith: Oh my GAWDS. Isn't he just like the KEWLEST!?

:coolcthul: Say what?

Aerith: Jarlot! He's like so totally awesome with that music! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

:coolcthul: And just when it couldn't get any weirder.
Phantomcrossing

04-16-06, 07:56 PM		Norbaz, Ketler, and the Old Dwarven Lady enter Volrath's room.

Norbaz: Okay, I'm back. Kanatash, Slip, Hoybee, Mickey, Jam, Smig, Andrea, Allen, and Silence are coming.

Ketler: Ready to go, what's the situation.

Ketler begins unpacking a bag of scrolls and gadgets.

Old Dwarven Lady: I've brought the dearie a sweater.

Terra: What's she doing here?

Norbaz: Honestly I don't remember when she started following us.
rampant

04-16-06, 08:45 PM		silence - Shouldn't the Uber-***** be here incase things get freaky.

Norbaz - Um yeah about that there was a pot of chili being warmed in the kitchen. She ate the whole batch and fell asleep on the burner. She keeps mumbling about being cold.

Terra - Did kithle screw with her sensory imput when he grafted the arm?

NOrbaz - No she just belongs on this ship.

Terra - Somehow thats even worse.

Norbaz - Tell me about it, I haven't had a decent night sleep since she got here Always wants more chili. I think she's addicted.

Elsewhere

Kithle and Sa'vor are training Feal-theas and the first generartion of 1/2-dragons.

Kithle - First thing, No one is infallible, Mistakes will be made, Good followers know when their leader is being an idiot. I myself am not above mortal fallacy, anyone who claims to be perfect or supreme is merely deluded.

Sa'vor - You know this isn't what I had in mind. I was hoping for mor of a I am your master approach.

Kithle - Feck that, thats the kind of outdated thinking that gets the dealkyr, the quori, and the Churches messed up. If we want them to be truly powerful they have to understand that they have a responsibility to decide for themselves what must be done.

Feal-Theas - Um Kithle, something is lurking on the edge of perceeption.

Kithle - O dear i forgot about Volrath again. See mortal fallacy right there, thaks Feal. Bye
(rushes to scene of volraths cacoon)

(telepathy) Satnak Get up here things are gonna get messy

Satnak - Uhh (face heals burn as head lifts) wha? Im up

Kithle - Just hurry to the mess outside Volrath's quarters. (end telepathy) I swear she is addicted to that stuff, and its not even terra's happy juice varients.

Silence - whats up eyeballs

Kithle - Can't believe i wasn't invited.

Norbaz - you looked busy

Old dwarf lady - Oh here deary I finished your new sweater now it doesn't block your nice eyes.

Kithle - Um. Thanks.

Old dwarf lady - Oh almost for got it comes with tendril warmers.

Kithle - (muffled) Mumone fwill mufuffer bor wis.

Old dwarf lady - No need to thank me, also don't worry about that nice Sa'vor's little ones. I'll have their baby booties finished by tonight, and a big pot of chicken soup for that poor little orange one with a cold.

Kithle - (in utter shock and awe) I haff dweeply mundemestimated fwoo. (thinks about the mental image for a second) Hahahahahaha.

Old dwarf lady - yes its quite the occasion i just wish i could meet their mother.
Charles Phipps

04-16-06, 09:14 PM		Jarlot: Okay Bruce, what are you here for?

Bruce: Ummm it's about the Illithids onboard.

Jarlot: What about them? They eat their fill on missions, carry their weight in battle, and only have to be allowed to act eccentric every now and then.

Bruce: Well all of the survivors have defected...well nearly all of them...to A.R.C.H.N.E.M.E.S.I.S.

Jarlot: May I ask why?

Bruce: Listen, I'm from Sarlona. Squid is considered a delicacy there....

Jarlot: Oh hell...

Bruce: It wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact I shared the recipe with my relatives.

Jarlot: Bruce, I know about your family. You've got like ten thousand relatives.

Bruce: And thus the great Illithid Empire goes down with kung fu, iron chef sword chopping, and chopsticks.

Jarlot: Well bring me some. It's got to be better than Norbaz's chili.

Bruce: That's not a problem. We've got at least one Illithid left and a Ring of Regeneration.

Jarlot: Aren't you lawful good?

Bruce: I'd feel more bad about it if they weren't so gosh darn tasty....err I mean evil.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-16-06, 09:32 PM		Terra: Hey, Kithle. While we're setting up, there's something I wanted to mention.

Kithle: Shoot.

Terra: I'm happy to see that you're encouraging independent thought among the new troops.

Kithle: That was fast...

Terra: New power, new means of intelligence gathering. Just to warn you, even those who appear to be most loyal can turn on you under the right conditions.

Kithle: I know that!

Terra: I thought I did too. It took two attempts on my life before I realized just how easy it was for that to happen.

Kithle: I almost forgot. You have experience with minion keeping...

Terra: Igor has far more than I do. I learned most of what I know from him. But I do have some advice that may help.

Kithle: What's that?

Terra: Jarlot may be a hopeless, drunken idiot most of the time, but he knows how to keep the loyalties of his crew. If you think about it, half the crew could easily overthrow him, but we don't. Why?

Kithle: Well...um...actually, I have no idea.

Terra: If you find out, let me know. I'm interested as well. Just do it WITHOUT eating his brain. The rest of the crew may mutiny.

Kithle: (putting down the longrange brainsucker) Awwww...
Charles Phipps

04-16-06, 10:12 PM		Terra: Jarlot, why DO the crew not overthrow you.

Jarlot: You mean aside from Doog's Bugs Bunny like antics?

Terra: Yes.

*Jarlot moved aside as Doog failed to hit him with the anvil he had hoisted on the mass nearby*

Jarlot: I assume you aren't going to accept my epic levels...

Terra: You know those don't exist outside of fantasy games right?

Jarlot: Whatever puny mortal.

Terra: For your own safety, I'll forget you said that.

Jarlot: The answer is simply....MUD.

Terra: I'm going to ignore what my Druid mind thought initially. Mutually assured destruction?

Jarlot: Think about it Terra. Do you honestly think that the people who want an undead world will accept an Illithid one while the people who want a Demon ruled one will enjoy an undead one?

Terra: So you're in charge because they you're harmless?

Jarlot: They think I'm harmless but I'm going to rule the world.

Aerith: OH ELVIS!

Tifa: YOU! *****! I HAVE YOU AT LAST!

Jarlot: Oh hell!

*leaps off the side of the boat, hits the ground six feet under as the repairs are going...badly*
Chrys

04-17-06, 08:42 AM		*poof Bob the Min Kuilicher demon show up on tifa shoulder, stops her from going after the Solor lover*

Bob You know I'm pretty sure it would be easier to kill the other women...

Tifa Shut Up Bob, they are not important!

Bob But what if one of them...

Tifa Look Bob I'm not going to go on a killing spree Just because you have nothing to do... get a gameboy for something.

Bob I don't think they have any of those on thos plane.

*a Group a Flayer walk by*

Bob Eh Law evil... what a joke. You know Back in my day we where Choatic and we Like It!

Tifa Look I don't need a your life story again!

*Jarlot starts singing*

Tife Do you really think that will work; She will not get rid of me that easyly

Bob You know he's not that bad its got a good beat and you can dance to it.
Endless_Helix

04-17-06, 09:04 AM		Ketler : Hey, Elvis!

Jarlot : Sshh! Can't you see I'm hiding from my ex-wife?

Ketler : This is important. You just got your first bag of FAN-MAIL! Congratulations! You da King!

Erk and Muradin barely manage to drag a mail bag of a truly gargantuan size through the door. Both faint from overexertion when it's mostly through. It fully blocks any entry or exit from the cabin.

Jarlot : Khyber...

Ketler : So, you going to open it, or are you going to wait till Dol Dornmas?

Jarlot picks up a letter. He turns it over in his hands. Theres no return address, but his name is written in a sickly pink cursive that looks vaguely like a sixth grader's. It's wreathed in little hand-drawn pink hearts and stars. The stamp suggests that it might be from Thrane.

Jarlot : Huh. Who'dathunkit? A thanish fan. I thought they all had sticks up their *****es.

Ketler : Well, don't leave us hanging! The suspense is killing me!

Jarlot opens the letter, and unfolds it. A scrap of paper falls out. It's rectangular and about 5" by 7". Ketler picks it up. His jaw hits the floor, his tongue rolls out, his eyes bulge out of his skull, huge drops of sweat roll off his face, gouts of steam billow out of his nose, followed by several whistle blasts, and he finally falls over, twitching and making small grunting noises.

Somehow, Jarlot fails to notice the commotion.

Jarlot : Hey, this ones from Jaela! Huh- whats that paper on the floor there?

Jarlot picks up the paper that Ketler dropped. He looks at it once, and his eyes grow to the size of saucers, his feet and legs twist up and his face gets very red and he makes several wolf whistles and wolf calls, and falls on the floor gibbering.

Jarlot : Sweet Devourer, Jaela, does your mother know you sent that?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later

Kanatash : *sobbing* That was horrible.

Silence : It's going to be okay, you'll be alright.

Kantash : I feel so dirty.

Silence : Look, uh, what happened? Well, I mean, if you can talk about it; it must be like, really painful for you.

Kanatash : No, no, it's alright. I need to get it out. I floated through the doorway of the captains room, which for some reason was blocked by a massive bag of letters. I hadn't seen him in several hours and figured that was a bad sign. And then... I saw it. *Kanatash is wracked by sobbing*

Silence : It's alright, I don't have to know...

Kanatash : I've stared down, Daelkyr, elder gods, horrors beyond imagination, I've mapped Xoriat and Dal Quor; I thought I plumbed the depths of madness, but never did I wish to see a vampiric half-dragon compulating with a wall! The captain and Ketler were on the ground with a small piece of paper, and... and... I can't talk about it. What Erk was doing doesn't bear mentioning. And Muradin... I...

Silence : It's alright. Everything will be alright. You hear me? Everything.

Silence kisses Kanatash where she thinks his forhead is, and turns to Terra.

Silence : Well, I guess we know where Sa'vor teleported to.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Silence has called an emergency meeting of the crew to deal with this new assault.

Silence : Alright, what we know is that someone sent an enchanted item to Jarlot, disgised as fan mail, and it's disabled, like, several of our heavy hitters. Jarlot'd door is blocked, and the only way we can get in is through teleportation, gaseous form, or incorporeality. Scrying in the area didn't work because of some safeguard that Jarlot, like, put there in case Ketler tried to view him while Marish was taking, like, dictation. Any questions?

Marish : Why don't you just send in Kanatash? He's probably immune to whatever the stupid thing is...

In the resulting quiet, a soft sobbing is heard. Everyone notices Kanatash's huddled form in the corner with a increasingly wet teddy bear. The teddy bear has seven eyes, four arms ending in things beyond desription, twenty-three tentacles emerging from various points around it's torso, and what looks like plush chitinous scales.

Marish : oh...

Kithle : Nose goes! *touches what could be an orifice for breathing*

Most of the Crew : Nose goes! *each one touches their orifice for breathing*

Klaz : Errr... what does that mean?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later

Klaz : Alright, I'm out.

John : So, what caused my dad, the captain, Sa'vor, Erk, Muradin, and Kanatash to go bonkers?

Klaz : This.

Klaz holds up a small rolled up piece of paper. It's tied with a eye-shatteringly pink ribbon.

Terra : Oh... so uh... what is it?

Klaz : Apparently, Jaela sent them this. It's a lumograph of Jaela, doing something rather... inappropriate. I can look at it because my tastes don't run toword the humanoid, wink-wink, but anyone else would be driven to conniptions by the raw sexuality of the picture. I'm keeping it, mates. *Klaz walks off, whistling*
Lord_Butler

04-17-06, 09:40 AM		Can someone point me to which page this script starts on so I can read it from the beginning? Last time I looked at this thread was like at page 10 or so! lol
Kaizer_Ryu

04-17-06, 11:15 AM		:blush: :uh-huh: Ok, I now feel incredibly dirty. I think I'll go bathe my brain in acid to remove the highly disturbing set of mental images Endless_Helix has caused.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-17-06, 12:05 PM		Jarlot: I really appreciate you going through the rest of these letters, Igor.

Igor: I live to therve, mathter. Thith wouldn't be the firtht time I've had to deal with dangerouth mail.

Jarlot: Really?

Igor: Yeth. Everyone thinkth that vampireth creep people out. But they're irrethithtable to young women. For example, King Kaiuth—the current one—gets thouthandth of letterth every week from lovethick young girlth.

Jarlot: Kaius? You've got to be joking.

Igor: It'th tradithionel. Of courthe, in the patht they were inexthplicable drawn to a cathle or other lair. Thethe dayth it'th all long dithtanthe.

Jarlot suddenly has a bad thought.

Jarlot: ……Um……………did Kaius ever get anything from…………

Igor: Yeth.

Jarlot (trying very hard not to remember the picture): But their nations are mortal enemies!

Igor: That'th the power of charithma, mathter. One diplomatic encounter at Thronehold and the wath hooked. The even told her thpieth to look out for what Kaiuth liked.

Jarlot (drawn unwillingly ahead by the power of morbid curiousity): And what was that?

Igor (still talking in his completely oblivious tone): Torture devitheth.

Jarlot passes out.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-17-06, 12:20 PM		( Sa'vor lies unconsious in his evil lair, Feal-Thas stands by him waiting for him to come round. Sa'vor stirs)

Sa'vor: ow my head ... what happened?

Feal-thas: i belive somthing overloaded your mind father

Sa'vor: Indeed... luckily whatever it was has been permenatly removed from my memory. thank kyber for back up systems. so, how goes the first generation ?

Feal-thas: due to Kithle's training the first twenty are quite capable of independent thought, they follow orders they belive to be sane or within peramiters. i ordered them to jump of the tower and they said *AHEM* " This order would be a waster of man power SIR!.

Sa'vor: Intresting.
( Kithle appears)
Kithle: Ah, your awake at last. good. you've been out for hours

Sa'vor: my head feels like its being split in two, my regeneration is barely coping with the effort to repair my mind. but im fine. the casuer of whatever happened was utterly deleted from my mind. a backup system in case of an event like that. and then i was teleported back to my lair.

Kithle: How go the troops? oh and also, how long will it take to train all of them?

Sa'vor: at full speed to train all ten billion of them and ready them for a coup... about twenty years.

Kithle: that soon?

Sa'vor: each brood is programmed with specific battlefield roles: archer; scout and skirmisher; spellcasters; healers; artillary; engineers and so on.
this knowledge is programmed into their minds and is eventualy awakened during the training process.

Kithle: intresting.. tell me, there appear to be some of them which are much different from the others, why would this be?

Sa'vor: ah, well, i have each of the dragon colours for each species. the species i have at the moment is known as the Spartan strain, other strains are developed for other tasks. though each strain has the following things; they require only two hours sleep maximum, they can last two months without food, almost a month without water. they can breath beneath water, immune to pestilance and venoms and are resistant to magic.

Kithle: these will be the perfect soldiers, but problem, why would they follow me if they belived me to be weak.

Feal-thas: for the survival of our species, and as long as your orders where sane and sensible we wouldnot see it fit to replace you.

Kithle: good, good. what are the chances of them turning traitor?

Sa'vor: none, they may not follow orders that make no sense or are a waste of resourses but they wont turn on you as long as they are seen as more than worthless soldiers

Kithle: what shall they be seen as?

Sa'vor: Allies, as brothers in arms. as their own free people whom serve out of thier own free will.

Kithle: what of the ones whom dont whant to serve me?

Sa'vor: they are content to train and build up the species.
Endless_Helix

04-17-06, 01:10 PM		:blush: :uh-huh: Ok, I now feel incredibly dirty. I think I'll go bathe my brain in acid to remove the highly disturbing set of mental images Endless_Helix has caused.

Drinking bleach helps. It helps a lot. :)

As to the question where this script starts... Hmmmmm... I'd guess around page fifteen or twenty. It probably starts with Ajihazi's inception or when we mapped or all the starting crew... could be page twelve...
urial angel of death

04-17-06, 07:53 PM		Volrath's dreams slow to the point where he is once again lucid.
Volrath talking to himself : Why must the suffering continue. If I kill Thanes I am a hypocrite, but if I let them live more innocents will be killed. If I only kill the ones preforming the inquisitions, their families will morn and then come after me.
??? : Kill them all! Kill them all!
Volrath : I know that you're trying to help, big bro, but I need to think about this alone.
??? : Kill, kill, kill (The psionic voice slurs into snarls. Then gradually fades away.)
Volrath : Why is the world like this! WHY, WHY, WHY!
An apparition of his father forms before Volrath.
??? : Because this world is not for you. Join those of your brothren that have found this.
Volrath : Stop it! I belong here. There has to be a way for this world to be fixed! There has to!
With that Volrath lashes out at his father, and yet again decends into dreams of horror, but this time they are of things that may yet come to pass.

As this is happening psionic waves erupt from the cocoon in Volrath's room. As everyone scrambles to stand up again Kanatash floats into the room, apparently having blocked out the memories of his recent past.
Kanatash : I wasn't expecting this to happen, for another couple years.
Kithle : You know what this little freak's is doing!
Kanatash : Yes, you see when an elder god sires an offspring with a mortal any number of things can happen, but Volrath's father is rather orderly. The same thing happens with each child. They are born as a fairly normal child, albiet one that has an affinaty for aberrations. They age very slowly compared to any other race, and are only capable of forming the bond, you mortals call love, at a very early age. After that they become more and more detached from the world, as they lose those they love one by one. Once they become completely detached from this world they become a deranged lord. Volrath's human side appears to be resisting his transformation into a daelkyr, with every ounce of strength it has.
Kithle : So you're saying, when he comes out of there he will be a daelkyr!
Kanatash : No, these things happen in stages. He will be changed, but not a daelkyr, at least not yet.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-17-06, 09:20 PM		Terra: So far, each of Volrath's kin have eventually succumbed to the transformation. It seems my feelings for Lisa have hastened this stage.

Kithle: Why?

Terra: His mother is dead, his sister is in an insane asylum. I'm probably the closest thing to family he has left in this world. Due to his early experiences, he feels anyone associated with Thrane will do nothing but hurt him further.

Kithle: So he thinks Lisa is trying to take you away?

Terra: More or less. Unfortunately, I highly doubt that we'll be able to stop this phase of the transformation. It's already nearing completetion.
rampant

04-18-06, 12:55 AM		NJ26 Sneaks into Klaz's room slits his throat, and destroys the JEala pic.

NJ26 - I need to have a talk with my little/big sister.

Sneaks out

later

NJ26 - Get your husband under control Tifa.

Tifa - I just gotta kill this Aerith *****...

NJ26 - Forget her a good liquid keelhauling with a solid whap to the head and a session with Kithle or Kanatash should work fine. If all else fails intimidation works just as well.



Kithle - Well dammit much as it goes against my better judgement you three are a lot of fun.

Terra - Huh?

Kithle - Satnak suppresion only.

Satnak - Awwwwwwww.

KIthle - I love magic immunity. (touches cocoon) (enters Volrath's mind)

Volrath - YOU

Kithle - Shut up and listen you little wimp. I have dueled with Sa'vor the Darkbane and Kanatash the World ripper. I forged Satnak, the dream breaker, the darkslayer, THE DEICIDE. I will rule this realm in the millienia to come. I will destroy those arrogant fools who thought to change me against my heart. I will break the prophesy of the dragons asunder. I will set my creation upon the great old ones, and the lords of dust, the quori, against the heavens themselves. I am Mortal Incarnate, I am the future despite all that would control me. the very least you can do is tell your pops to shove it where the darkness doesn't penetrate. Lisa is not going to take Terra away from you, think of it as gaining a sister or aunt. You still have your bunny, and Muradin is absolutly devoted to you. The Flame is not in itself evil, nor is lisa. People from the flame have hurt you yes, but like any other mortal you deal with a world not cut in cloth of black and white. Deal with it. I know the external part of this process is irreversible at this point, but don't let those bastards change who you are!!! Its your soul, your destiny forge them according to your vision. DO NOT LET THEM WIN!!!! Unless you want to be an arrogant heartless waste of power that is promptly fried by Satnak. Its up to you now Kid don't do anything to dissapoint Terra and Muradin. Besides if you go all dealkyr on us we might let the brain out to spite you.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-18-06, 01:32 AM		Terra: (listening in) Ouch, that was harsh. But it may do him some good.

Kanatash: True. I only hope he takes it the way it was meant. I'd hate to have to see him zorlched.

Satnak: You three are no fun at all...

***

Klaz lies in the infirmary, recovering from his encounter with the p***ed off Ninja Jaela.

Mickey: (downs the rest of his Vodka of Healing) I dunno what you did, but it must'a been a doosie.

Klaz: I was gonna destroy it, but the sheila got ta me first...

Mickey: Destroy what?

Klaz: Better if you don't know...
rampant

04-18-06, 01:52 AM		Ninja star stabs Klaz's hand to wall note attached says : Should have said so, Sorry.

Klaz - I dunno whether to be vengeful, forgiving, or scared out of my mind. Obviously I'm in shock, got any Puji of Perfect Restoration?




Kithle - Ohh my head... oh... terra something i should be telling you... *whump*

Lisa - FLAME whats wrong in here. Kithle said i should get here whats happening.

Terra - Volrath is being changed against his will due to his fathers heratige. The physical aspect is inevitable at this point, but kithle just burned himself out trying to save Volrath's spirit.

Lisa - Our KIthle?

Terra - Yeah... he's not as bad as he would have us believe. Don't tell anyone though. *in squirrel* death paper probably better drag your dad back to his room and watch your claws.

Death paper - (Slips out of kithle's sweater) on it Terra.

Lisa - *common* what do I do?

Terra - Volrath is dealing with a lot of issues wright now. I think kithle wanted you here to show that the Church of the flame aren't all like the inquisitors that messed up his mother and sister.
urial angel of death

04-18-06, 07:21 AM		Volrath : That nun with tentacles really helped, but why did she sound so much like Kithle? Only one thing left to do.

A claw rips through the cocoon, tearing a long gash. From the rip spews a horrible bile, and the new Volrath. A tentacle now protrudes from each of his shoulders. Two insectoid legs come off of each side of his torso. As he opens his mouth to talk, his tongue is revealed to be several inches longer than it should be, and is now several stands of stinew wound together and ending in a bony barb.

Volrath : Hi everybody! Oh yeah, Kithle, no matter what you do the true mindflayer empire will not come until long after your dead. The only one of us that will live to see it is Sa'vor. The empires of aboleths will rise and push back the empire you are starting. The humans will then gain true dominion of the earth, by absorbing the other humaniod races. Finally after all of that the mindflayers will indeed rule supreme, because of all your efforts. You how ever will not living to see its completion. It will be ruled by your descendants.
Kithle : You arrogant little *******.
Volrath (completely ignoring Kithle) : Lisa, I would like to say that...well, I (drops his head and walks out).
Charles Phipps

04-18-06, 07:50 AM		Jarlot: *bangs his broom from underneath the corridors* You know why Illithids, Beholders, and Aboleths will never real jack!? You guys are too god damned high ECL! It means you never get any decent mage or warrior levels! So yuck it up you gawd damned tentacly things!

:coolcthul: Captain that could be construed as harrassment.

Jarlot: What the hell are you doing back here?

:coolcthul: Aerith admitted she didn't have feelings for me entirely clear yet what with you and...

Jarlot: She dumped you! HA! In your face Squidhead!

Illithid Crew member: Hey! I resent that! Star Spawn and Illithids are two very distinct cultures and...

Jarlot: Talk to the Boomstick.

*Jarlot blows the head off the Illithid and a number of pieces land in the chilli*

:coolcthul: That wasn't very nice.

*door bursts open*

Tifa: I HAVE YOU NOW JARLOT AND I...wha...

:coolcthul: :inlove:

Tifa::drool:

Jarlot; You know, you and Terra I could forgive. Hell I'd even video tape but...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL OF MY OLD GIRLFRIENDS!?
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-18-06, 09:00 AM		In the chamber of the Silver Flame, Jaela neals just before the fire pit, conducting a private ritual of penance.

Jaela: Great Flame, within which dwells all the spirits of the rightious, slayer of all those who posses the soul, cleanser of the heart, I…………well…I've done something very naughty—

Suddenly the flame grows until it nearly fills the chamber. Jaela feels herself being consumed by the fire, her very soul reduced to ash. She tries to gain control of the fire, to communicate with the spirit of Tira Maron, but she cannot even scream and flame pours from every orifice of her body.

As the silver fire leaves her it coalesces into a human shape, standing just before the pontiff. The conflagration in the chamber begins to die, a silver residue coating the room. As the flames lessen the figure takes on a more and more distinct shape, and soon Jaela can see that it is a human youth, probably about 17, strikingly handsome and not overly muscular, with silver hair that seems to ripple like flame.

The youth, now clothed in a silver jacket and pants of a cut Jaela has never seen before, squats down in front of her. His smile is condescending.

Silver Youth: You are the one the flame chose to lead its mission? Ha! Run along and play, little girl. Your services shall no longer be required. I shall purge the world of evil.

He seems to be staring into Jaela's mind, and an evil gleam comes to his eyes.

Silver Youth: And I know just the place to start.

With that, he vanishes quickly in a wisp of silver flame. Jaela looks into the sacred fire, but it is gone now.
***
Reading a book in the library, Cheese's left eye suddenly twitches.

Cheese (swearing): JAELA'S PICTURE…

He leaps off the book, passing the new Volrath as the librarian enters. Not quite familiar with Cheese yet, Volrath isn't sure what to make of the behavior. Yet something about the urgency with which Cheese is moving strikes a knot of curiousity—and perhaps even fear—within the abberration, and he tries to follow Cheese. This proves impossible, as Cheese makes use of secret passages that only the rats and Terra know about.

Cheese finally emerges in Kithle's lab, where the half-flayer is still nursing a headache from his contact with Volrath.

Cheese: KITHLE, I NEED YOU TO GET YOUR ÜBER FRIENDS TOGETHER—

Kithle: What have we told you abotu using that voice? Especially when my head—ooooooooo!

Cheese: Self-preservation instinct.

Kithle: Why? I saw you during that Haz'rack game. Every time you got stomped you appeared fully formed form the nearest shadow. And since you've started showing yourself more I've seen Marish eat you on more than seven separate events.

Cheese: That's not important at the moment. We need your über friends, plus Satnak and maybe Lisa. And if Jarlot isn't tied up with marital probelms…
***
Cheese has everyone relevant gather in the mess hall.

Kithle (now feeling better): Sa'vor, Kantash, myself, Feal-thas, Terra, Satnak, Norbaz, Igor. Jarlot's occupied at the moment, and Lisa didn't want to be disturbed. Said she wasn't feeling like herself.

Cheese: Then it's begun.

Kantash: The demon of the silver flame.

Cheese does not even react to people reading his mind. Long used to not having one as a rat, he doesn't really care what people do with it now.

Cheese: The demon that was sealed in the Silver Flame along with Tira Maron and the couatyl has been cleansed of all its evil and has emerged as a being of pure Law and Good.

Satnak: Than why do we care?

Igor: The world would be boring without evil. That may not make thenthe to you, but I have theen firtht hand what an important motivating forthe evil ith. If the world were thimply ruled by natural fortheth, there would be no need for either. But Good ith often too cothiouth about dethtructhion, which ith where evil thtepth in.

Cheese: And I said a being of pure Law and Good. Think of all the inquisitions that the church of the Silver Flame has done or is thinking about doing right now. Now imagine all that concentrated into a teenager.

Everyone shudders in fear. Even those like Sa'vor, who have seens terror beyond the dreams of über mortals winces once.

Norbaz: That doesn't sound so "Good" to me.

Cheese: That's because you see Good and Evil as a set of principles and not as actual forces. Maybe on another world Good/Evil would be more pronounced and you would understand.

Terra: In destroying Evil this thing would basically be destroying the only force balancing Good's inherant tendancy to try and preserve things, especially life. As a druid, I know how important death is to the natural cycle.

Cheese: Good and Evil aren't tied to the survival of the Material plane, which is why they are so often engaged in battle.

Kithle: So we basically have an über-hero with no mercy and the entire power of the Silver Flame behind it.

Satnak: Well, I'll just zortch it—

Cheese: We can't do that. We can't even kill it. Because if we do, every single person who even remotely worships the Silver Flame will have their souls sucked in and ground up along with it.

Just at the moment Volrath was about to enter the room. However, upon hearing what Cheese has just said, he ducks back out. Leaning against the wall he tries to make sense of the thoughts suddenly swirling through his mind. The power to destroy all the people of Thrane is now within sight. But he doesn't know if he wants it.

Kantash: So what do we do? [he says, sensing the turmoil in Volrath but deciding not to interfere.]

Cheese: If we can show the demon what evil has become on the Forgotten Freedom, perhaps we can introduce just enough corruption to turn it into your average zelous do-gooder.

Norbaz: So you're saying that for once the fate of the world rests on turning someone from Good to Evil? :devil:
Chrys

04-18-06, 09:22 AM		:drool: Tifa: Damn Thats a lot of Kalimari... I wonder if the cook a really big deep frier!

:coolcthul What you want to eat me!

Tifa: Yeah What do you think I ment! My heart belong only to Jarlot... well and those nymphs, but that neither here nor there.

Jarlot I don't now if this is a good or bad thing... Wait What Nymphs!?

At that same moment Bob the Mini Kuitchier (I will never spell that right) walking in on the meeting.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-18-06, 12:03 PM		( two years after his death, at Dra'vos's grave. a black robed figure stands above the grave, from his lips come a divine incantation. the dirt above the grave begins to shift, a white and skeletal hand breaks through the dirt and a skeletal figure pulls itself from the ground amd its flesh begins to regenerate. now standing there is a lean white with Dra'vos's features)
Dra'vos: why have you raised me? and who are you?

Black Robed Figure: in many years you shall be tasked to destroy your murderer, wait for the sign.

Dra'vos: but who are you?

Black Robed Figure: someone whom hates Sa'vor with all his soul

Dra'vos:then i shall wait for the sign

Black Robed Figure: you shall

(Present day, Forgotten freedom)

Sa'vor: well, it looks like this might be the end

Terra: How? you've just been told that you see the start of the illithid empire

Sa'vor: time isnt a liniar sequence, its mutable, nothings decided. only your actions create your future.

( Sa'vor kneels down and prays)

Terra: are you praying?

Sa'vor: yes

Terra: i thought you didnt belive in any gods

Sa'vor: im praying to Mabar, the plane of night. perhaps one of the most hospitable places i whent.

Terra: i thought they tried to kill you?

Sa'vor: true, but at least they where doing it because it was their job. and then they turned me into this.

Terra: i thought you enjoyed being alive and undead at the same time?

Sa'vor: i do, i enjoy the vampire side far more. though being alive has its advantages as well. the vampire side just has more, example, domination. watch this
( red shirt walks by)
Walk off the ship

Redshirt: yes master
( walks off the ship, goes plummeting thousands of feet and is smeared across the thranish country side).

Lisa: i have objections to you doing that.

Sa'vor: true, but he was a mass murdering abductionist, whom liked murdering small girls.

Lisa: that still doesnt justify what you did

Sa'vor: true, but once again, i really dont care.

Lisa: have you no morals ?

Sa'vor: i have some

Lisa: like what?

Sa'vor: my many taboos: Killing some one in thier sleep; drinking; gambling; using magic for material gain; drinking more blood than i need; rape; petty thievery; eating children; devouring souls; messing with the cosmic balance; genocide and so on; letting gods walk the earth.

Terra: i thought you killed that old man whom saved you in his sleep?

Sa'vor: and thats one of the few things that i feel guilty about.
Phantomcrossing

04-18-06, 12:17 PM		Norbaz is going over the equipment locker looking for something.

Norbaz: No, no. Definitely not. No, no. Again no. Jeese, where in Khyber is it.

Satnak: Okay, what is it you're looking for and why aren't you making me Chili?

Norbaz: I'm looking for something to use to aid in corruption of the oncoming demi whatever being. You know the one they were telling us all about earlier, the demon that had been sealed in the silver flame but is now no longer a demon.

Satnak: Oh, well what are you looking for specifically?

Norbaz: A psionic item I threw in here a while back. I figure my assassin skills won't be too helpful if we actually come to blows with this guy, so I'm digging up an old helm which should help keep anything powerful out of my head, should include alignment too.

Satnak: And that helps you how?

Norbaz: I won't be immediately erradicated, something I'm trying to avoid.

Satnak: I see...well considering we may all die with this endeavor, make chili.

The half elf was looming over the hunched over form of Norbaz with a demanding glint in her eyes.

Norbaz: There's still alot in storage in the lower deck.

Satnak: I know, I found and finished it this morning.

Norbaz stops his search, slowly rises to his full stature, turns around and looks down at Satnak.

Norbaz: What?

Satnak: I said I already finished it.

Norbaz: That had to be three times your body weight in chili.

Satnak: Your point.

Norbaz: I'm just going to assume there is an extra dimensional space in your stomach from here on out, and not ask how you can still keep that kind of figure with all the Chili you eat on a daily basis....No, screw that, I'm asking. Where in kyber does it all go?
rampant

04-18-06, 12:54 PM		Satnak - Power comes at a price my metabolism is in constant overdrive. Chili specifically helps me attune my "burn" blade.

elsewhere

Kithle - Humans are nigh unstoppable, I should now, might be best to simply mix my bloodline into that of theirs and rule the human empire. The aboleths need to be dealt with I know I'll send melvin back to pollute the gene pool. I resfuse to play second string to fish.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-18-06, 03:47 PM		As the eye of the mind moves through the ship we find ourselves on the female side of the Lesser-Used crew quarters……well, since Lucky is now a girl I guess it counts. Lucky and Ninja Jaela 26 are having a friendly conversation over tea. The topic has apparently turned to Lucky's past as a male.

Lucky: …So then the curtain gets pulled back, and I find myself face to face with a grossly fat fire giantess. And that's the last time I accepted a contract from Morgrave University.

NJ 26 just stares blankly.

Lucky: I wonder what's gotten the crew spooked all of a sudden? Normally I can sense any danger coming, but now all I have is a peaceful feeling.

Cheese: THAT'S BECAUSE LAW AND GOOD ARE DECEPTIVE FORCES THAT EVIL CAN NEVER HOPE TO MATCH.

Lucky: Damn you, Cheese! Don't sneak up on people like that.

Cheese: I require something from NJ 26.

Ninja Jaela: What is it that you seek?

Cheese: THE MOST EVIL ARTIFACT YET CREATED.

NJ 26: And why would I have it?

Cheese just grins………………eeeeeeevily.:devil:

NJ 26: But I destroyed it!

Cheese: I consulted Igor. Something of that magnitude of evil requires a quest to properly destroy it. He should know.

NJ 26 just remains silent.

Cheese: DO YOU REALLY WISH THIS ENTITY TO DESTROY ALL IN THE WORLD THAT IS EVIL? I DOUBT EVEN THE MOST DEVOUT OF ANGELS WOULD WANT THAT.

NJ 26: There is a conflict within me between the part that is of the Silver Flame and the part of me that is of the Forgotten Freedom. I can't just choose without weighing both sides. I have loyalties. I'm a ninja, it's part of the whole "honor" thing. I…

A truely evil thought comes into the mind of NJ 26. It spreads as a slight ripple in the fabric of reality, causing all the great minds tuned to the fabric of the draconic prophecy to twitch just a little. It is promptly deleted as it arrives in the minds of Kithle, Kantash, Sa'vor, and other übers, as it would be too much for them to comprehend at the moment.

NJ 26: Lucky, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room.

Lucky: Because of what—

NJ 26: Because otherwise your danger sense will blow your brain out through the back of your head.

Lucky: Understood.
Phantomcrossing

04-18-06, 03:49 PM		Norbaz: Okay, okay. Just help me find the helmet and I'll make sure you will never want for chili again.

Satnak: And how do you propose to do that?

Norbaz: I'll see if I can convince Ketler to give me some of his old and now unused equipment.

Satnak: You're not thinking of...

Norbaz: Yeah, by all means it should work, or just explode. Regardless I'll try, now lets find the helmet.
JakeQuistis

04-18-06, 04:53 PM		Igor knocks on Allen's coffin, and then opens it.
"It ith time, marthter." Igor tells him.
"Excellent..." Allen says, getting up out of his coffin.
He then waited while Igor got his best suit and cape out of the closet, and put them on. He then walked out of his room, and headed down the hallway, darkness and Igor following him.
"Please!" Nalfein attempted to ask Allen, but was slammed into the wall before he could say another word.
Allen continued brushing aside people, not stopping for anyone, until he reached his final destination. He opened up the double doors, and sat down on a bench, getting the attention of a nearby servant red shirt.
"Three orders of chilli please." He asks the red shirt, smiling happily in anticipation for this long awaited meal.

Igor
Brother of Igor, he serves Allen because the Igor family has always had a tendency to serve vampires. They kept regular hours, were generally polite to their servants, and, an important extra, didn't require much work in the bed-making and cookery department, and tended to have cool, roomy cellars where an Igor could pursue his true calling. This more than made up for those occasions when you had to sweep up their ashes. (Above taken from The Fifth Elephant, a book in the Discworld series.)
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-18-06, 05:32 PM		( Nalfein hovers outside Sa'vors door waiting for him to leave. once again, he wants to be a vampire. his life long dream is so close. Sa'vor fades through the door, Nalfien will now try a different aporach)

Nalfein: Excuse me, mr d'vol sir?

( Sa'vor stops, its been a long time since anyones ever called him d'vol)
Sa'vor: yes?

Nalfien: i know you must be really busy with all your being Uber and plotting world domination. but, could you grant me a wish

Sa'vor: im no dijinn

Nalfien: true, but i was wondering, could you make me a vampire?

( Sa'vor sighs)
Sa'vor: have you any idea how difficult it is being a Vampire?

Nalfien:i have read lots about thier powers and abilities yes...

Sa'vor: im not your average vampire, im of a more specialised bloodline, Vampiris mabrana.

Nalfien: i've read some where about them, they're the ones which walk in sunlight, turn aside silver and stake. can cross water, see thier own relections and are not repuled by holy symbols.

Sa'vor: yes and we can walk on concecrated ground, enter houses and the like uninvited. my branch of vampirism is different from the others. its not spread by me biteing you, its spread by a disease.

Nalfien: of course ... your between alive and undead. this makes you especialy resistant. but you must still consume blood for sustinance... fasinating. what disease would it be then?

Sa'vor: phophic heamophilia mabranous, i caught it when i spent to long in mabar, im a carrier and a victim. though i've turned off my ability to spread it

Nalfien: why?

Sa'vor: too many people like me is a bad thing. and can you imagin what will happen if vampires begin to break the rules?

Nalfien: more vampire hunting?

Sa'vor: yes and no, the chosen one will be summoned ( the slayer in old vampric texts) and then i'll get loads of letters of complaint from all the Vampiric rules councils and fan web sites.

Nalfien: so you wont make me a vampire?

Sa'vor: heres my advice, give up, vampirisms not fun. i spend most of my days trying to find enough blood to drink. and every time i go through a forest i get edgy. also, no one in the villages will talk to you, they all scream "your no having any of my blood!", and then theres the mobs. i've been run out of town by so many mobs im no longer suprised anymore. your best bet is to become a lich, less weaknesses, still cant go shopping, more respect oh and a good pension plan.

Nalfien: pension plan?

Sa'vor: yeah, for when you reach a millenia old and the old undead brain starts to go funny, your magical powers arnt what they used to be and you start to get athritis, supposedly they do anchinet lich homes now for those whoms familys kicked them out of he labratory.

Nalfien: intresting ....
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-18-06, 05:49 PM		Igor: Well thith ith a nithe thurprithe. I thee you thtill work for vampireth.

Igor: Yeth. My mathter called me over. He needed a full-time Gothic Feng Shui Consultant.

Igor: I'm thorry, but what with Mathter Jarlot'th wife arriving I haven't had time. It'th always "Igor! Go for more bonadge equipmant!"

Igor: Tho that'th what that wath. I jutht thought he like torturing people. You do have the habit of working for that kind.

Igor: No, on thith thip, the torturing ith left up to the retht of the crew.

Igor: I hear there ith another vampire aboard.

Igor: Yeth. Tha'vor. Although he hath moralth.

Igor: Not a bad thing on a vampire. Tho long ath they keep up the tradithionth.

Igor: Actually, he'th more into the mad thientitht mode. He'th created an army of half-dragonth. And he conthultth with me on maintaining the image.

Igor: You alwayth know the motht interethting people.

Igor: The crew apprethiateth my diverth knowledge.

Igor: I jutht have one quethtion: Where'th the betht plathe for a lab?

Igor: Ah, you might want to thet up thop with one of the corporeal überth. Volrath, Kithle, Tha'vor, they all have dethent lab thpatheth that they are quite willing to loan in exthchange for thome advithe. Or, if that doethn't work out, I will intrduthe you to Roothevelt the carpenter and Cheethe the rat, who knowth all about the extradimenthional propertieth of the Forgoteen Freedom.

Igor: It'th too bad there will be no lotht young people dropping by.

Igor: That ith a problem. I haven't thought much about it, thinthe Jarlot ithn't that thort of mathter.

Igor: Really? He thruck me ath being thomeone who would relith the idea of beautiful young women conthtantly finding a need to thpend the night on hith thip.

Igor: With thith crew? That would be thilly.

Igor: You're right.

Igor: Wrong thort of atmothphere.

Igor: He doethn't theem to have the charithma for it, either.

Igor: He get'th lotth of fan mail, though.

Igor: How ith one thuppotht to go about dealing with aquiring women on pirate thipth?

Igor: You capture or pay for them. Tho you thould thee the meth that goeth on with Pontiff Jaela.
rampant

04-18-06, 07:00 PM		Rule number I don't care anymore : NO MORE DUPLICATES, pholly/ie was onething, Igor/Igor is not going to cause a mess, but does anyone really want to think about the damage cloning Kithle or Satnak might cause. Heavens forbid someone clones Tifa.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-18-06, 07:51 PM		OOC: I agree with rampant. I originally intended Igor to be the only Igor on Eberron. Basically anytime you thought someone had an Igor he was the Igor. Plus it would be difficult to keep track of them, since they are both named Igor and have lisps. Pholly/Phollie was just a continuity error, and I think the character has a funny enough concept that having two of them just means more can be done. They're both redshirts, after all.

And what ever happened to Stupid/Scholar?

IC:
As the ship prepares for the arrival of the Silver Flame demon, Doog, Erk, and Marish return, towing a defeated warfored and Phollie.

Doog (sitting down in the mess hall): Damn, it feels good to be back.

Allen: You were gone? Funny, I didn't notice.

Warforged: How? How could they foil my brilliant plans so easily? I'm an evil genius!

Mickey: You didn't even stop off at the infirmary. Not that I'm complaining.

Doog: Let me tell you, it was unbeliev—

Doog suddenly finds himself with a cargirl in his lap. Normally this would be a good thing, but she has her claws dangerously wrapped around his throat in just such a way that it looks like a lusty embrace but could obviously be turned into a demonstration of bad surgery if Doog so much as breathed wrong.

Mairsh: Now, now. Remember what you promised?

Doog: Ah…I don't say anything about what happened…*gulp* and you don't tell Aljihaz where the Trouser Titan is.

Erk pats Doog affectianately on the head and grumbles friendly-like.

Doog: So…what's going on?

Mickey: An ultra-terrifying outsider of pure Law and Good loyal to the Silver Flame is headed our way intending to turn us into inside-out and then go on to ruin the world by expunging it of all that evil represents.

Doog: Aerith's coming back?
Kaizer_Ryu

04-18-06, 08:46 PM		Ketler: Captain, I still don't think you realize the danger in trying to get Aerith back.

Jarlot: How so?

Ketler: Well, Tifa, Andrea, and Terra are all plotting her grizly demize as we speak.

Jarlot: How, exactly, is this new?

Ketler: No, I mean, they're plotting TOGETHER...

Jarlot: ...oh, this won't end well.

(elsewhere)

Tifa: I told you I already tried that!

Terra: Well, what do you suggest we do, then? That damn joy factory is practically immune to anything we throw at her!

Andrea: It's not like you've done any better than either of us. How long have you known her? Not even a scratch to show for it!

Tifa: We need to neutralize the Solar Deva somehow.

Andrea: :smirk: We could always have Terra try and seduce her...

Terra: :mad: Say WHAT?! I have more dignity than that, thank you very much!

Andrea: Yeah, going after holier-than-thou Lisa. That's not gonna happen and you know it.

Terra: Just because you're jealous that I like her and not you-

Andrea: :blush: How dare you say that! On what grounds do you base that?!

Tifa: It's actually pretty obvious...

The plotting session quickly decends into a cat fight enjoyed by most of the crew. :D
Charles Phipps

04-18-06, 09:13 PM		Aerith: La la la la la la....

*enters chamber where Jaela is on the ground burned horribly*

Aerith: Oh dear.

*spins around as she suddenly has a miniskirt and long bunny like hair tails*

Aerith: MOON CRYSTAL...HEALINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGG!

*Jaela heals as she spins around and finds herself similiarly attired*

Jaela: What in the name of the Flame?

Aerith: I have inducted you into the Holy Order of Moon Warriors.

Jaela: Why do I look like I'm well over my age?

Aerith: One of the side benefits of being such. Besides, the Forgotten Freedom has been pillaging a long time gametime.

Jaela: I see. What's that monstrous thing heading across the city?

Aerith: Oh. Well remember that Demon that Tira Mirron imprisoned in the Flame?

Jaela: Yes.

Aerith: Well the idea that Tira said was that the Demon would eventually be destroyed by the flame but demons always reincarnate.

Jaela:....and?

Aerith: Well Demons are always alittle different between how they live and how they die. In this case, the Rajah was known as Sutekh the Destroyer of Worlds. It was his mission to destroy the planet and all living things. Now over the centuries he's been killed a few hundred million times and always ressurected only to be killed again as he slowly perverted his essence to try and become good enough to survive. Eventually, he managed to reconcile his nature with the Flame.

Jaela: Oh Hell.

Aerith: Yes, it grows in power the more evil it consumes.

Jaela: But surely good is in forgiveness.

Aerith: Yes but it doesn't REQUIRE it.

Jaela: Oh no, what are we going to do.

Aerith: Obviously I must confront it.

*Aerith puts on a little red riding hood like bonnet and pulls out a broomstick as she ladylike rides it towards the Forgotten Freedom*

*Jaela is dragged with her*

A few hours later

Aerith: Ah at last I am returned to my lovely home. I have so missed the crew. Sweet and adorable Kanatash, Cuddly Doog, Brainy but Lovable Andrea, that snuggly scamp Phollie, chivalrous Michael, my happy environmentalist friend Terra, Cute Norbaz, and Mischevious Santak....

Jaela: I'd never use those adjectives to describe them.

Aerith: As part of my Solar Deva training on the Plane of Law, its part of my job to see the good in everyone no matter how remote!

Jaela: I see.

Aerith: I admit sometimes I just want to stamp my foot and POUT at some of their actions though.

*she did so*

Cheeze: Oh hell, she's back.

Aerith: My cute little pet mousy!

Cheeze: GAH!
Kaizer_Ryu

04-19-06, 12:05 AM		Klaz enters Kithle's room, followed closely by Vrin. Vrin is holding a video camera as Kithle stares at them, befuddled.

Klaz: (in an overly abnoxious Australian accent) Right, now 'ere we've got a really reah specimin. This 'ere is the only known 'alf-Illithid in tha' wo'ld.

Kithle: :twitch: What. The. Hell.

Klaz: Look at 'im, such a magestic creature. Far smarter than any 'uman, 'e can suck your brain right out a' your 'ead.

Kithle: I never planned to eat your brain. This just clinches it.

Klaz: Now, ladies an' gentlemen, I'm a professional, so don't try this at 'ome.

Kithle: Touch me, and I hurt you...

Klaz goes up to Kithle, reaching out as he continues.

Klaz: These 'ere tentacles release a real nasty acid that can burn right through your skin in a matter of seconds (touches Kithle).

Kithle: I warned you...

Klaz: AUGH! CRIKEY!! ME 'AND!!!
Charles Phipps

04-19-06, 12:55 AM		Jarlot: Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm here to tell you that we're going to war.

Ketler: Uhhh Captain, where did you get that Admiral's Naval Uniform?

Jarlot: I earned it in battle.

Ketler: First of all....you were in the infantry of Cyre and never rose above second private.

Jarlot: I was highly decorated for my rank.

Ketler: Those medals include Karrnath, Aundair, Breland, and.....Q'Barra?!

Jarlot: Ummmmm....well I have to admit that I occasionally screwed up my missions and may have done services for the other side on occasion.

Ketler: Sadly, I can believe that.

Jarlot: In any case, we're about to face our greatest war yet and defeating the Demon of Flame is the first step to my becoming Supreme Ruler of Earth.

Tifa: HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL EMPEROR JARLOT!

Ketler: Ummm Tiffa, the sieg heil is not something I'm comortable with given my religion....

Tifa: There is one Eberron! If it splits in half, there'll be two! All mankind is scum - and bee-yoo-tiful!

Jarlot: Ummm...guys, please forgive my....woman I don't know at all.

Tifa: How dare you live in a place with a roof, you users of oxygen! You people don't understand how good you have it! When Jarlot rules the world, all people not a part of Jarlot's Ruling Class will be made to work and toil for the good citizens of it!

Jarlot: Oh sweet Dol Dorn, Tifa you're ruining my speech....

Doog: I've heard enough of this! We've been your crew for years and what have we got? SHAVIT! It's time for a change! I'm declaring MYSELF Captain and we'll...

Tifa: BLASSPHEMMERRRRRRRRRRRR!

Doog: AHHHHHH!

*intense sounds of cartoonish violence as Tifa starts beating Doog horribly*

Doog: GAHHHHH! She's biting my head!

Tifa: You filthy non-Jarlot worshipper you! I bet you've eaten in the past couple of days! All money I earn goes to support his domination of the planet! You shall STARVE for your master!

Jarlot: Right, okay, we've got a big demon heading our way and we need to stop it.

Aerith: Oooo, Ooo, can we stop it with love?

Jarlot: Ummm...let's put a pin in that theory for now.

Jaela: Ummm hi....can I ask about getting Ketler detached from my leg?

Jarlot: No.

Michael: I think Doog is tapping out because of the hold Tifa's got him in, shouldn't we call an end to the match?

Jarlot: It's not pro-wrestling Michael.

Tifa: TASTE THE FURY OF MY WHIP YOU LAZY WORKER YOU! THE GLORIES OF J.A.R.L.O.T are forever!

Jarlot: Oh, one last thing, I've installed a portable hole that moves wherever I want it with a pull of this bellpull. I think it'll be more effective than keeling.

*he snaps his fingers and a bell pull appears out of nowhere hanging from mid air*

*he pulls it*

*Tifa and Dooj then fall down a hole as they start screaming then a distant splashing is heard below*

Jarlot: Don't worry, it just leads to part of the extradimensional parts of the ship. It should keep Tifa out of trouble for a while though.

Tifa: *soaking wet and suddenly right beside Jarlot* Your decisions are noble and good My Lord!

Jarlot: Oh hell!
Phantomcrossing

04-19-06, 01:46 AM		Norbaz: I can help with that, I need to speak to him anyway.

Ketler: Wait! No! What are you doing!!!!!!!!!!

Norbaz peels ketler off of Jaela, Pontiff of the Silver Flame.

Norbaz: Word of advice, little lady, stay near Aerith and don't talk to people. It'll be much safer for you that way.

Ketler: No, I was there, she's there, why, oh why!!!!!

Norbaz walks off below decks with Ketler suspended in air.

Norbaz: I need your help modifying this helmet, and jury rigging the Cloning machine, we need this to survive, Cannith, and only the greatest artificer on Eberron can do it.

Ketler: What...

Norbaz: We're gonna make a Chili Replicator, with fifteen alarm settings.
Charles Phipps

04-19-06, 02:05 AM		*Jaela thanks Norbaz profusely*

Jarlot: Just to remind everyone, I am the person here with the most military experience.

Kithle: So you fought in the Last War, big deal.

Jarlot: PFFFT! The Last War was piddling compared to my MMORPG experience.

Kithle: Your what now?

Jarlot: Ah, those were the days...

***

Five Years ago
A group of stereotypical adventuring dressed Andrea (Wizard), Jarlot (Fighter), Tifa (Female fighter), Aerith (Cleric), and Stupid (Barbarian) are present

Jarlot: Okay, basically here's what we do. We work to clean out this dungeon here and build up gold, EXP, and magical items from what they've collected then we wait for it to regenerate. We repeat this process a bit until we can move on to the next dungeon level.

Stupid: You F*** F*****! Who put you in charge! I came here to kick some ass! CHARGE!

Jarlot: Andrea?

Andrea: FIREBALL!

Stupid: *is killed*

Jarlot: Okay, now that is over with let's work out our plan...

*Another Stupid suddenly appears*

Stupid 2: You f***ing team killer!

Tifa: I'm on it.

*shoots her bow several times into Stupid*

Jarlot: Everytime he regenerates, just kill him again.

Stupid 3: F****ing CAMPER!

Aerith: So I deal with the healing as you fight, we retreat until heal again, then move in again to the next room?

Jarlot: Yeah, take everything. We can trade it back at our guild.

Illithid: Hey, you guys going to be long? We've got a whole host of mind controlled orcs, giant bats, and stockpiled all of our stuff in here. Some of us have jobs you know.

Jarlot: Just keep your damn...err...robes on.

Stupid: HA! I'm a Dark Elf now so you can't treat me like the other characters!

Andrea: Fireball!

Stupid: B****!

Andrea: Aerith, I'd appreciate if you stopped reincarnating him.

Jarlot: Okay, let's move! GUILD OF THE BIG DAWGS AWAY!

***

Kithle: *stares in horror*

Jarlot: Yeah, we cleaned out like fifty dungeons before we finally got the ship. Of course I blew all the gold on ressurections, some bad trade, oh and the usual pleasures. The game stopped being fun when all those damned munchkins and their farming started popping up though.

Terra: That's the dumbest lie I've ever....Kithle?

Kithle: You're responsible for the GREAT PURGE of the Illithid race!?

Aerith: See, I told you dungeons didn't regenerate!

Jarlot: He got off lucky compared to the Dark Elves. That was before they let people play them and then they were in every party.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-19-06, 02:18 AM		OOC: I was wondering when Excel Saga would make it into the thread. HAIL ILPALAZZO!!!
Charles Phipps

04-19-06, 02:35 AM		OOC: I was wondering when Excel Saga would make it into the thread. HAIL ILPALAZZO!!!

OOC: Believe me, its just too perfect. Now I wonder if Aerith will catch any hyperinfectious diseases.
rampant

04-19-06, 02:47 AM		Kithle - Tifa eat something!!! Here Water. Satnak you a make sure she gets ready for a fight light meals and Mineral water for the whole crew until the show down we need to be at peak. This means no booze.

Crew - NEVER

Kithle - (Points to Death paper and and Sa'vor) You were saying?

Crew - Nvm

Kithle - Okay satnak, terra, sa'vor, tifa, and silence you 5 are in charge of holding the bastard in place. Pholly/ie i want you and the artificers working on ways of suppressing this criiters powers. Aerith, Jeala any and all info is helpful. Everyone else will be assisting the ficers and efforts to suppress the critters powers at long range. Feal-theas take the minions and hide. You guys aren't ready for this kind of crap. Death paper you go with them if anyone tries to sneak past you slice their apendages off. Redshirts will be used as shields as per standard operational Procedure. Satnak Do not use fatal levels of Zorching.

Satnak - AWWWWWWWWWW. I wanna wipe out something big, no hard feelings lisa.

Lisa - :eek:

Terra and Kithle - NO bad satnak, no genocide for you.

Satnak - Fine you bloody tyrants :pbbbtt:

Jeala - Maybe the demon wiping them out is worth it.

Kithle - Vrin get klaz healed... um you know screw it he needs a ressurection. Aerith your up.

NJ26 - *whispers to Jeala* one more stunt like this and I will kill you sister or not

Jeala - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCARY NINJA LADY

Jarlot - aha! proof I'm not the only one who sees Jingo she can't be a figment if somebody sober saw her.

Jeala - Who's Jingo I was talking about the scary lady who looks like mom's old gradutaion portrait.

Jarlot - What no Jingo's a goblin.

Micheal - Yeah Cap needs to lay off the booze.

Lisa - He meant you too MIcheal.

Micheal - awww crap.

Jarlot - When did we all start taking orders from the Flayer?

Kithle - I dunno... HOW ABOUT EVER SINCE I STARTED PULLING YOU PEOPLE'S COLLECTIVE ARSES OUT OF THE FIRE AS A CAREER. DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW LONG ITS BEEN SINCE I MIMICKED ANYBODY FOR FUN?!? A FREAKING YEAR!! I GET 10 MINUTES WITH THIS DEMON OF LIGHT I'M GONNA BREAK HIS SENSE OF SELF INTO SO MANY PIECES THAT THE ONLY WAY TO REPRESENT IT IS A CHARISMA OF ONE OVER INFINITY!!!

Igor - Mather I thing ith mighth be a gooth ithea tho looth intho gething thithle some more thacathion thime.
Endless_Helix

04-19-06, 09:04 AM		And so it Begins

Jarlot : Slip, even though you don't exist, BANK STARBOARD!

Slip :Uh, thats twords the monster.

Jarlot : Then turn to the OTHER starboard! It's reaching for us!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Kithle : Alright, so we're 5000 feet in the air right now, correct?

Ketler : A little more actually.

Kithle : So if we drop Norbaz's new 15 alarm chili on it from this height...

Ketler : Well, the fall will kill the chili for sure, but I'm pretty sure this thing has acid and fire resist through the wazoo. And damage reduction.

Kithle : What about if we modify it so it does cold and electricity instead?

Ketler : So, a -15 Alarm Chili?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Klaz : Look et this magnificent brute! Get a close up Vrin, especially on those glowing eyes. Now, this is what we call a rakshasa Raja. Say it with me kiddies, you too Vrin.

Vrin : Rakshasa Raja.

Klaz : Good! Now these thin's used to rule all of eberron back in the dawn of time. These things are the spawn of Khyber, one of the progenator dragons. They're pretty powerful. Now this sucka is a fine specimen, mates. I'm going to try to touch him. I'm a trained specialist, so don't try this at home kiddies.

Vrin : Are you insane? You're going to try to touch the damn thing? Isn't, like, essentially divine? ARE YOU CRAZY?

Klaz : Crazy like a fox. I got the picture.

Vrin : Err... What?

Klaz : Y'know, mate, the Jaela picture. I made copies. Do you really think I wouldn't? I mean, at worst, it's blackmail material on the head of a church!

Vrin : Oh... THAT picture....

Klaz : After all, this thing is a teenager...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sutekh : Why does nobody like me? I'm so alone! I'm going to cry about it and listen to Dashboard Confessional!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dol Dorn : Arawai, you might want to get over here...

Arawai : What?

Dol Dorn : Look

Arawai : Oh, Sutekh's back. We should go say hi. Wait... Is that the- oh hell.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Silence : Lisa, what do you think, Hot ot Not?

Lisa : Umm... Excuse me?

Silence : Sutekh, hot or not?

Lisa : You're kidding me. Please say you're joking.

Silence : OMG, did you see that? He, like, totally popped a little girl and her kitten in the cutest way! The blood spatter was so artful! I am so going to ask him out. Do you think he'll say yes? Now, I want your honest opinion...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be continued...
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-19-06, 09:17 AM		OOC: Okay, this is going to take some fancy footwork. Who is Sutekh?
IC: An hour before Endless_Helix's events.
Cheese: It's getting close, people.

Sa'vor: I've been researching this demon. I believe it is a Rakasha Rajah named Sutekh.

Cheese: If it was only a Rajah I wouldn't be concerned. This was no ordinary demon that got sealed in the flame: this was the demon of teenage rebellion.

Kithle: You can't be serious.

Cheese: That's why hundreds of years having to listen to the Silver Flame was a bad idea. It's become like a teen who's been booted through military school and come out the other side a kiss-a**.

Kithle: How can you tell where he is? I can't sense a thing.

Sa'vor: Neither can I or Kantash.

Cheese: I'm not tracking it by trying to read its mind or magical signature. I can sense were any light source on Eberron is, and a being composed of pure flame qualifies.

Kithle: How?

Cheese: I am a being of pure shadow. Therefore I am linked to all shadow anywhere. Shadow runs from the light. So it's basically like knowing the really scary brusier is coming by how fast the bumbs at the bar clear out.

Jarlot: So how fast is this thing coming?

Cheese: Well, since we aren't that far from Thrane, and we're not moving due to the fact that the ship still isn't repared—

Roosevelt: It's not my fault anymore. Ketler is the one who deals with the engines.

There is a *vrooooooooom* sound, and the FF lifts into the air. Finally.

Roosevelt: I guess sticking the door to his secret Jaela stash did the trick.

Jaela: Flamekeep is only an hour away by flight.

Cheese: —and because it increases dramatic tension, we've got an hour.

Jarlot: An hour?

Cheese: We're operating under narrative rules. Reality doesn't apply if it makes things less interesting.

Jarlot: Well, then maybe we can have a drink…

Cheese: Remember, everyone, this thing is pure Law and Good. It's immune to any magic or similar from a Chaotic or Evil source.

Kithle: Magic circle against chaos and evil?

Cheese: But concentrated so many times that it's like a mirror. If you think you can survive your own power than you can at least try to distract it. I haven't reviewed my notes on this power, but you might not even be able to get near enough to hit it. Now I'm going to need something from you, Kantash, and Sa'vor.

Three Übers: Yes?

Cheese: I need you to set up a shield around a chamber on this ship, a shield which I can raise and lower but not anyone else. I has to be completely impenitrible, even by you guys. Oh, and NJ 26 will be with me for this operation. Don't ask questions and no one read our minds after this.

Klaz: Hey Cheese! I've got a cracken idea—

Cheese: Already had it. Go ahead, I've got something else planned.
Phantomcrossing

04-19-06, 12:51 PM		Norbaz fits the helmet on his head, and then hefts in one hand his dessicating dagger, and in the other, a Magma Red Murlonds Spoon.

Ketler: Okay, the modified spoon should instead of making poridge, make your chili, it has all the alarm settings. You sure about this?

Norbaz: If I just use self buffing magic and psionics, there won't be back lash for attacking it magically. All I gotta do is take my time and get into position after Klaz gets him with the picture. This should stall him long enough for Cheese's plan.

Ketler: Alright. I'll monitor the situation from here, the modifications to the helmet may not work, mixing magic and psionics in a single item may be unstable. Scratch that, it is unstable.

Norbaz: That's what I'm counting on, remember, if it comes down to it, detonate my helmet.

Ketler: I know. I still think this is a bad idea.

Norbaz: Alot of things are.

Norbaz heads in the opposite direction of the deck.

Ketler: Where are you going.

Norbaz: Just to drop off a letter.

Ketler: You don't expect to live through this.

Norbaz: I'm throwing myself in stealth melee against a god...I have no delusions of grandure. Best case scenario as far as I see it is that I die in a way where my soul isn't eradicated.

Ketler: Alright...so potentially ceasing to exist is enough to finally get your courage to say something up.

Norbaz: Yeah, fat lot of good it does me, but maybe I just need to let something out.

The half giant walks down the corridor towards a door he has been nervous standing before in the past. Calmly he slides an envelope under its frame before heading for the deck to join Klaz and Vrin. The letter is addressed in caligraphy "Andrea".
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-19-06, 04:00 PM		The dramatic moment has finally come. A silver glow appears on the horizon, and despite all attempts at avoidance the demon arrives on schedule. Surprisingly there isn’t much fanfare at his arrival: no line of flames marking his passage, no halo or bright hair, no music or even sound for that matter. He just floats above and to one side of the Forgotten Freedom.

The best of the crew is arrayed against him, holding whatever weapons or redshirts they have and clad in just about anything. Only five are missing: Cheese, NJ 26, and Silence, plus Klaz and Vrin who are hiding under the main hatch ready to jump out and assault the demon with the Jaela pictures. It is a tense moment, made all the more tense by the crews recognition that this is no time for banter or verbal sparring.

The demon looks down and grins. And this is not just a villainous grin: it is the grin of the most sadistic of beings, the kind of grin that makes the zealous inquisitor’s cruel smile seem like your best friend after you've made a good joke. It's not helped by his wardrobe: its all in silver, pants, jacket, shoes, every piece of it like what a teen might wear and yet none of it has a real cool style. His hair and face are the same way: maybe they once had some resemblence to the look that adolescents covet, but now somehow it had become corrupted by purity. No one…no one…could look upon him at not have some twinge of doubt as to whether Evil and Chaos didn't have a place in the world.

Slowly the demon lowered himself onto the deck, right next to the main hatch. Not one of the crew moved to stop him.

Zlaz: Ready mate?

Vrin never got a chance to respond.

Sutekh: No one knows what it's like to be me, man!

Suddeenly it was as if the world had no meaning. Existance itself seemed to waver and peel back, revealing the cruel nothingness that was the true state of the universe. There was no protection against it: not Norbaz's helmet, not Kithle's great mind, not Kantash's madness, nor the terror that Sa'vor had once endured. Nothing was as powerful as hundreds of years of pent-up teenage angst focused through the lense of rightious fury. There had never been a combination like it before, and if the demon was not stopped there wouldn't be anything afterwards.

There was no one to stop him as he burned open the deck and made his way down.
rampant

04-19-06, 04:01 PM		Kithle - Fortunately for you people my powers allow me to even screw with my apparent alignment. Now: Behold the power of Creation shadows of the realm primeval arise, shadows that spawned the gods arise, Shadows from the dawn of time ARISE. Bind this foe in Primordial might and unveil the might of creation, Souls of the multiverse Arise, trap the demon within the shadows veil, Eldritch forces of the realm bind this circle and overwhelm, strength of gods that we have slain bind this mark with your pain, I set my mind unto this bind, i set my heart unto this art.

Kithle is now the center of a whirling vortex from which invisible forces extend their reach searching for the former Rajah.

Cheese - Theres the shield's base and binding ok the rest of you better start helping him.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-19-06, 04:31 PM		Kithle, had used all the souls of the world in his portion of the sheild, is able to seek out those who died as angsty teens and bind them temporarily to the spirits of the crew that had heard the emo of the demon. With the temporary shield of peer sympathy the demon's power has an opposite effect on the crew. They find it empowers them, giving them the strength to stand and go after Sutekh.

The crew races down the corridors, with Kithle in the lead tracking. For some time they find nothing. Finally however Kithle senses the demon…in the same room as Cheese, NJ 26, and Silence. He races to the scene.

He finds the demon standing before NJ 26 and Cheese. There is a gleam in the demon's eye that seems reserved for Cheese alone. Yet it doesn't notice the black-gloved hands sneaking out of the darkness behind it until someone whispers "Come'ere, hot stuff" and the demon is yanked into the room behind before the shield goes up.

Cheese turns to Kithle.

Cheese: Nice work on defusing the emo. I thought you might use the "all the souls of the multiverse" spell.

Kithle (****** off): You could have told us beforehand! I don't even remember my own teens being that bad! I mean, why didn't I read it in your mind?

Cheese: You did. You compartmentalized it. You're so good even you forget sometimes.

As the info is once again accessed by his mind, Kithle relaxes. But he stares at NJ 26.

Kithle: Um…shouldn't you be behind the shield?

Cheese: Don't be silly. Did you think a naked Jaela would stop a demon with a stick up his butt?

Kithle: But, then………he's behind the shield—

Cheese: With Silence. Getting in touch with an emo fan-girl.

Kithle: You said we had to corrupt him.

Cheese floats up until he can look Kithle right in the eyes.

Cheese: That's what's going on in there: a combination of law and good is being treated to the most powerful force for rebellion in known existance. Why waste power trying to show the thing evil when we can get it to do the whole job for us?

Kithle considers this for a moment. He puts together all the knowledge of the teen years of the crew. Fortunately he has the wisdom not to look at it. Nor the need.

Kithle: It's not………a very evil plan.

Cheese: What's more evil: being obviously evil, or cheating? :schemes:
urial angel of death

04-19-06, 04:35 PM		never mind
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-19-06, 04:53 PM		Just then the shield fails.

Cheese: Uh-oh.

Kithle: Didn't work?

Cheese: That's what I get for not being an über.

Kithle: Cheer up. You're not evil enough.

Cheese: I do have one consolation.

Kithle: That when the universe gets destroyed you'll finally get that rest you've been hoping for?

Cheese: You see! I don't have that kind of power!
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-19-06, 04:54 PM		Maybe you could do something in between the time the demon lands on the ship and the time it reaches Cheese. I was hoping for some sort of showdown of morals between Volrath and the demon.
Charles Phipps

04-19-06, 05:11 PM		OOC: To assert quasi-DM like authority, Sutekh isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Jaela: Sutekh is one of the most powerful of the Old Rajahs. The name means "Set", "Serpent", and is the reason for the host of serpentine imagery. He's the anti-Coatl.

Ketler: I thought he was the Lord of Emos.

Jaela: Well you know how these god families are....whine...."Osiris is more loved than me! Wha wha wa!" It's all very tiresome.

Ketler: Oh.

*appears as a burning flaming tower of flame like a hurricane made of fire*

Sutekh: Please, do you really believe I will be stopped by the pitiful attempts by you to corrupt my nature? I am purified of your pathetic concepts and hardened by the hosts of horrors that I witnessed when I was a Lord of all Depravity. I am immune to temptations of the flesh, mind, or soul. Five hundred years of immense torture where every single thought of my will was pain and insanity until it was filited, sifted, PULPED until at last I was a god. I have witnessed whole nations flayed alive and participated in acts so utterly debased as to crack your pathetic minds wide open.

Cheeze: Time for a new plan.

Sutekh: You are insects all of you. My time in the flame has purified me of my innately evil nature but I have come to see in the limitless burning flame that my kind has tainted your pathetic and ant-like minds with our nature. There can be no redemption for you lesser races. The universe must be started over anew. It will not be something that you will find painless. I shall draw forth your worst memories and your deepest weaknesses then these shall become manifest flame as I burn them from inside you.

*A gigantic flaming Jackal like mass appears in the hurricane of fire*

Sutekh: I have brought forth the crusade against the lycanthropes and the burning of witches but I would not be free if not for mortal's desire to be delivered by me unto their annihilation. They shall call my massacres the rapturous burning of the light. It is not enough that you lesser beings, so mindlessly selfish and base, die at my hands like I have done the other sinful masses. You must first be broken and then made to recant your sins. Before you die....and I can make an eon of torturing your flesh and soul for your conversion....I will make you see the error of your ways and BEG for your release from torment to serve my cause.

Ketler: He certainly is....verbose.

Sutekh: Kneel. Kneel before the will of Sutekh as I open up your mind to your childhood Ketler and show you that you deserved the punishments your father dealt unto you

Ketler: No...no....AHHHHHHHHH!

*the inventor fell to the ground in a fetal ball screaming*

Sutekh: Ha ha Ha ha ha....

Slip: KETLER!
Charles Phipps

04-19-06, 05:27 PM		*The Forgotten Freedom struggles to keep ahead of the living cyclone that is Sutekh's body even as it lays a waste behind it stretching miles as it follows the Forgotten Freedom*

Jarlot: You gawd damned lousy second edition monster.

Sutekh: So the pitiful commander of this ragged collection of sinners comes forward. I should have expected you to be hiding with what I've heard of your courage pitiful Khyberspawn.

Jarlot: Look whose talking Jackal man. It's overpowered monsters like you that make me worry about Eberron avoiding FR overpowered monsters.

Sutkeh: Your meaningless babble doesn't amuse Sutekh. Where shall I begin tearing your mind apart to reveal the debaseness inside?

Jarlot: *starts climbing on the top of the ship's Ballista* You may be immortal but that doesn't mean we can't tear you down to your base matter and imprison the strips.

Sutekh: Shall I open your mind up to the abuse of your childhood and its powerlessness as I am doing to so many of your crew? Perhaps I shall clog your mind with the atrocities you witnessed...and participated in...during the Great War. The screams of the dying that you struggle to drown out in your restless slumber with alcohol and cheap *****s.

Marish, Tifa, Aerith: We are not cheap!

*they stare at one another*

Sutekh: I shall perhaps open your crew to realize the weakness of your heart and spirit and then burn every ounce of flesh from your bones before repairing it to begin again.....yes, that sounds like it will work nicely

Jarlot: *takes Michael's unholy avenger as it burns in his hands* Thanks Michael.

Michael: No problem.

*Michael struggled to force away the painful guilt that was overflowing his heart, his blackguard will driving away the compulsion to commit suicide even as it was staggeringly powerful inside him*

*Meanwhile, several redshirts burst into flame or undergo horrific tortures before their souls are ripped from their body and eaten by Sutekh as they become worshippers of it after only a little torture*

Jarlot: You aren't getting my ship.

Sutekh: Prepare to know perdition.

*Jarlot is launched into the air by the ballista.*

Jarlot: LIMIT BREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

*the unholy avenger slashes down against the flesh of the nightmarish thing even as tears a scar across its body that burns with infernolike heat underneath it before a massive flaming hand emerges from the flames and bats Jarlot against the mast of the ship, the sound of cracking bone heard as Jarlot slids down it, unmoving*

Aerith: JARLOT!

*Sutekh turned a bloodredish color in his fire like body*

Sutekh: Pain shall be your only friend for a long time commander...

*Sutekh turns his flame onto Aerith even as....she doesn't burn while she protects the Captain*

Tifa: OOOO! THAT **** IS SCORING POINTS OFF ME! HAIL JARLOTPALLAZO!
Phantomcrossing

04-19-06, 06:09 PM		Norbaz limps his way to the Captains quarters. When he arrives in the doorway he sees the thing that was once a Rakshasa Rajah hurling fire at Aerith and Jarlot. Tifa about to go on the offensive. The others were still up on deck, preparing for counter attack. Terra, Satnak, Kilthe, Savor, and Kanatash prepping one trully horrific counter measure. Norbaz opted to run interference. He saw Ketler on the ground in pain, and was able to get close enough to get the helmet's detonator off of him. Wasting no time, he drops his spoon and charges with his knife, expecting oblvion as he misses and his wrist is caught by the now annoyed god.

Sutekh: You dare try and backstab me, one of purity previously unbeknownst by this world?

Norbaz: Save it, I had a craphshoot of an adolescence too. Suck it up and get over yourself.

Not hesitating, Norbaz leans in close as he says this, attempts and actually succeeds in connecting with a headbut as he activated the Detonator....


The Room burned white for a moment. Then filled with smoke. Sutekh stood laughing barely touched amongst the smoke as the helmet fell to the ground. The cooky, no where to be seen.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-19-06, 07:59 PM		Roosevelt, Cheese, and Igor sit around a table somewhere deep the the FF and play a game of cards.

Roosevelt: Sabacc!

Igor: It'th tho nithe to be able to break the ruleth when the world ith about to come to an end.

An explosion rocks the ship, and a crewmember runs down the corridor yelling "The cooky's dead! Run for your lives!" A little later Lucky comes down the corridor, head in hands trying to block out the premonitions of doom.

Cheese: I'd ask if you're okay, but since we're all about to not exist, I won't even bother.

Lucky: How can you be so calm?! We're all about to burn in the fires of our own horrible existances!

Roosevelt: You mean, worse than life?

Lucky: Huh?

Roosevelt: We all go through our worst memories constantly. It's called "life". It sucks.

Cheese: Roosevelt is one of those people who is constantly aware of how bad his life is and is happiest when it is at its worst.

Roosevelt: So what Sutekh is about to do to me is going to be the most fun I've ever had. So why worry?

Cheese: And Igor over here has never had any horrible experiences, so he's immune. In reality I'm just the product of someone's imagination created as a filler for him during the Haz'rack game and therefore am not worried about pain.

Igor: Bethideth, thomeone will thtop Thutekh.

Lucky: But I keep having premonitions of DOOM!

Igor: It'th tradithionel.

Lucky considers this. As if his/her senses are suddenly attuned to a new awareness of what her/his existance truely is, the horrible feeling of doom doens't matter anymore.

Lucky: Wow, you guys are even better than John the keel.

Cheese: Pull up a chair. We've got another round of forbidden context before Sutekh reaches us. We think we can fit in some Dungeons & Dragons.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-19-06, 08:13 PM		Even as she aids in the counter measures, Terra finds her mind assaulted by Sutekh as he scours the ship for his next victim.

Sutekh: Another pitiful being attempting to stop me. Shall I show you the horrors you have buried?

Terra: Try all you like. I stopped running from my past a long time ago.

Sutekh scours her mind for buried fears and doubts, but finds only one of any value. Not nearly enough to break her.

Sutekh: Impressive.

Terra: I do not need your compliments. You have nothing to work with. I have faced my past a hundred times over and lived to tell the tale. Your pathetic moaning only increases my resolve to see you brought low.

Sutekh: Foolish mortal, your overconfidence is staggering.

Terra: Get over yourself, you whiny, selfish, arrogant little brat! The very act of claiming 'no one understands you' reveals you as the pitiful pile of scum you really are.

Sutekh: I will see your soul torn asunder for that!

Terra: Leave my mind! I will not tolerate your presence any further!

Having found Dooj, Sutekh leaves her mind, vowing to find her in person.
rampant

04-19-06, 11:00 PM		Under suhteks feet a rumbling crashing horror breaks through the floor boards.

Chalky - YOU ARE THE ONE RESPOSIBLE FOR THE FATE OF MY UNCLE GREYCLAW. THANKS TO YOUR PURGES HE DIED UPON A CRUCIFIX OF SILVER. I WILL REND YOU ASUNDER, IMMORTALITY ISN'T AN ADVANTAGE WHEN ALL YOU KNOW IS PAIN. ALL YOUR KNEECAPS ARE BELONG TO US.

A thousand flailing claws, jaws, stingers, fists, horns, and tentacles grip the demi-god and slam it around ripping him to peices and smashing them to paste then proceeding to smear the paste as it tries to gather itself together.

Terra - Do we help?

Tifa - Can we?

Satnak - Just help with kithle's costume.

Lisa - This would be easier if all the old pictures of pre-flame demon boy over there weren't so blurry.

Jeala - Sorry we always figured he was stuck in there.

Sa'vor - Hey this is the same shade chalky used on my face.

Lisa - Thats what happened to my extra bottle. If he wasn't saving our bacon I'd hammer him.

Tifa - Do seriously consider fighting that thing? I mean I had no idea the little shiffter was that scary when he shifted are you sure he's not an uberwere.

Terra - Chalky is a changling warshaper. He's just abusing the morphic weapon ability and a a few size boosting potions.

Kithle - Can any one see my tattos? no? good.

Kithle stands His Visage has been transformed into that of Suhtek before he was bound by the flame.

Kithle - Lets see if this wimp can handle a little conversation with himself.
Charles Phipps

04-19-06, 11:18 PM		Jarlot: I however personally have my own solution as well...

Tifa: What's that?

Jarlot: *hefts up a glowing crystal with a fireball suspended inside it*

Tifa: Spells suspended cannon balls?

Jarlot: Andrea makes them in her spare time.

Tifa: How are you going to get them on it.

Jarlot: Simple, I'm going to ram it.

Tifa: Say what?

Jarlot: Let's hope a certain conversation goes well....

Aerith: Surely they will persuade Sutekh he's wrong!

Jarlot: You know there's a slight problem with all this let's corrupt the Demon business...

Aerith: What's that?

Jarlot: Assume for instance we do in fact taint it with evil. It returns to its normal self...

Aerith: Yes?

Jarlot: ITS NORMAL SELF WANTED TO DESTROY THE WORLD. The only reason good got through is because it was an excuse to destroy the world!
rampant

04-20-06, 02:10 AM		Kithle - once again you misunderstand my intent I'm not going to taint him, I'm going to BREAK HIM.
Charles Phipps

04-20-06, 02:46 AM		Kithle - once again you misunderstand my intent I'm not going to taint him, I'm going to BREAK HIM.

Jarlot: Yeah yeah, I still support the use of extreme violence.
rampant

04-20-06, 04:27 AM		Kithle - I'm not disagreeing, I'm just using a different weapon.

****

Sutekh 1(post flame)- *wheeze* Damned shapeshifters when did weres get that nasty?

Sutekh 2(pre flame)- About the time I had the majority of their kind purged.

Sutekh 1 - What?

Sutekh 2- You heard me.

Sutekh 1- I had them purged, not you, whoever you are.

Sutekh 2- I am Sutekh the mightiest of Rajah, bow before me imposter, and I might let you die quickly.

Sutekh 1- What is this I am Sutekh the Purified.

Sutekh 2- What kind of title is that for a Rajah?

Sutekh 1- Its yours, I mean mine.

Sutekh 2- As if what makes you so special? huh?

Sutekh 1- I'm going to purge this world of evil and start it anew in the image of the pure flame.

Sutekh 2- Oh how original. Your going to destroy everything and rule over a world remade in your image. Guess what thats always been the plan!!.

Sutakh 1- But this is different I'm good.

Sutekh 2- Bah, your going to slaughter the innocent and the guilty alike just as I will.

Sutekh 1- ... they would just grow up to be corrupted...

Sutekh 2- They would just grow up to resist me.

Sutekh 1- Maybe I could slaughter those who refuse to listen and raise the rest in pure devotion?

Sutekh 2- I'll just kill those who resist me and take the rest as my slaves.

Sutekh 1- I'll spread my word accross the globe and they will flock to my power.

Sutekh 2- I'll raise banner over the sky and all will follow out of fear of my wrath.

Sutekh 1- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm different... I'm different, i changed...

Sutekh 2- How you sound just like a wussified version of me who can't handle the truth of your ambitions. At least I'm honest about what I do to those around me. Hah Me the Demon spawn of Khyber the truthful one, and the purified champion of the flame is the dcieteful coward. HAhAHAHAHAh.

Sutekh 1- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH. *sound of mind breaking* good... evil... whats the difference....
*retreats to a dreamscape haunted by images of his past self*

Sutekh 2- (disembodied voice) Look in the mirror

Sutakh 1- What mirror?

Sutekh 2- (dv) the mirror of your soul

Sutakh 1- Of course this is my mind, I should see the truth here as long as I will it. I want the truth which am I.

Sutekh 2- (dv) You still think we are different?

A full length mirror appears.

Sutekh 1 looks and sees Sutekh 2

Sutekh 1-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A maze of mirrors appears and different mirrors reflect different versions of Sutekh throughout his life.

Sutekh 2- All of this is me, I am Sutekh the Quoatl Slayer. You are merely a deluded fool, who fails to grasp how much trouble he is in. These pirates have had the power to kill you the whole time. They hold only because of mercy. These scum have more honor than you.

Sutekh 1- Who am I?
urial angel of death

04-20-06, 07:21 AM		Sutekh : Who I am does not matter. Answers will come with the destruction of evil.
Sutekh calls a pillar of silver flame down apon Kithle, and returns to its destruction of the ship. As it is going about this a tentacle slaps it in the back of the head. Sutekh turns around and sees Volrath froating at eye level.
Sutekh : Who dares?!
Volrath : I, child of the Crawling Chaos, Volrath.
Sutekh : Your parentage means nothing. Feel the pains of your childhood and see the evil in your ways.
Volrath remains seemingly unchanged.
Sutekh : What, why are you not affected?
Volrath : Because I was never once beaten, because I deserved it, only to satisfy the hatred in your worshippers hearts! Yes, my childhood was hard and depressing! Yes, I lost family to senseless hatred! Yes, every girl I ever liked was either repulsed by me or had issues! But I got over that, with the help of this crew.
Sutekh : Shutup, shutup, shutup! Die among these "friends" of yours.
A mace appears in each of Sutekh's hands. A smirk crosses Volrath''s face and he draws a darkgreen shortsword, covered in runes. Sutekh throws swing after swing at Volrath, who in turn parries each blow. Between parries Volrath is only ableto get in small, shallow cuts on Sutekh. After several minutes of fighting Volrath oulls out of melee and teleports a short distance away.
Sutekh : So you see that your defeat is inevitable!
Volrath : No I'm just using an idea, from a friend of mine. Now if your so certain of your victory, come and get me.
Volrath completely drops his guard, letting his sword arm drop limply to his side. Sutekh rushes forward. It is thrown back, by an invisible barrier. Volrath points down at a pentagram, underneath Sutekh drawn with the demon's blood, that was spilt during the battle. Volrath then pulls up his sword, and plungs the tip into his own wrist. He then starts chanting and drawing a symbol in the air with his sword. As his sword traces the rune, droplets of blood hang in the air forming the draconic symbol "oblivion". Volrath then thrusts his sword through the rune and into Sutekh's heart.
Sutekh :Nooo!!!
The demon is drawn into Volrath's sword. The sword then becomes a luminous silver, and the runes covering it become celestial.
Volrath : Hey, Lisa (chunks sword hilt first) consider it an apology.
Crystalforged

04-20-06, 09:46 AM		Well, well, it's impressive how much things can happen around here in a little over a week. This is the first time in a while I've been able to check this site due to a crashed computer, a burned out modem, and a trip out of state that conspired to keep me from internet access. So anyways excuse me if some of my posts seem a little dated.

For starters I thought I would create one of those little fact sheets for Kanatash...

Kanatash

- He is a Nomad and a Psion Uncarnate which gives him his incorperality. At this point his levels are well into the epic and he has also picked up a slew of templates and unique abilities, most of which are either not defined by RAW or have yet to be revealed.
- Was once a completely sane and goody-goody Kalashtar who was looking into methods of reaching Dal Quor so that he might strike a blow directly to the Quori.
- His attempt to reach Dal Quor went horribly wrong however and he ended up in Xoriat instead where he spent 5000 years having the Daelkyr completely break his mind.
- His consciousness is actually bound to Xoriat and his body is mearly a projection.
- When he origionally arrived on the FF he was a gibbering nutcase but long term exposure to the crews minds and a second trip to Xoriat shocked his mind into a state he refers to as "perfect madness."
- Actively serves the Daelkyr or "deranged lords" but at this point has risen to the point where he outranks the majority of the "lesser" Daelkyr lords.
- Has a pathological hatred of hippies and was the first to lable :coolcthul as one.
- Dislikes drugs in general because in his oppinion, "Drugs are bad, because if you do drugs, you're a hippie. And hippies suck." but is willing to overlook this in Terra's case since she is friends with Volrath.
- Refers to Volrath as his Nephew although there is no relation. However he is on good terms with Volrath's father.
- He is planning to one day destroy all of reality. He recieves little opposition from the rest of the crew because he plans to draw the process out over a couple million years so he can "savor" it.
- Is on of the crews favorite scapegoats for when something really weird or horrific happens.
- Spends a lot of his time doing experiments on redshirts or any other fodder he can get his hands on and then breaks their minds and mutates their bodies. Most of these test subjects do not survive and those that do are hunted down and killed by the crew because quote, "even we're not cruel enough to let those things live, it's mercy killing."
- Is the ships designated master of psychological torture and also serves a the ships counselor on occasion.
- Has a number of cults of dragon below dedicated to him scattered across Eberron.
- Once had a duplicate that was destroyed after it was corrupted by Kelter's dimensional tracievers which turned him into Agent Smith from the Matrix. Wether he has since created a new duplicate is unknown.
- Contacting his mind is extremely hazardous and results in the the victem being reduced to a vegatative state for the rest of their lives if the're lucky.
- Satnak is actually a cloan of him created with Kelter's helm of absolute opposition.
- Isn't really interested in any goals beyond the destruction of reality but is involved in the attempt to created an Illithid empire and several other plots to pass the time until reality collapses.



You know I just realized that I've done more character development for Kanatash than any character I've actually played.
rampant

04-20-06, 12:50 PM		Same here its kinda sad.


Kithle - Oooooooh my head again *whump*

Death paper - Can we come out now? Feal-thas really needs to go. Dad?

Terra - He over did it again, and yes you can come out.

Death paper - Thanks, oof thats it dad your going on a Diet.

Terra - Volrath lets get those cuts taken care of.
IDM

04-20-06, 01:01 PM		You may not, under any circumstance when playing through Shadow of the Last War decide to drop adventuring to convert whitehearth into an inn. Even if it already apears to be convinently supplied.

And if you do....
Under no circumstances will you take a page from Rorsa's book on the dinning menu.

Nor will you convert the eldritch device into a band stage.

Nor will you have the artificer change the mechanic in the scry room to change with detect thought instead of being constant on the now ballroom.

NO you cna not glue spikes on your warforged companion and start to call him pokey, or any other derragtory refrence fo the lord of blades as a tourist attraction.

ANd if you don't....
Under no circumstances will you steal the laudry basin so you don't have to worry about dirty clothes.

For something completly diffrent....
When approaching the gaurds in rose quarry, you will not hide and have the warforged, no matter how accurate it seems, run through screaming death to fleshies, and then lead the guards on a wild goosechase under the concept that warforged can run forever. Then expect the gaurds to come back fatigued after you burned the base down.
Quoriil

04-20-06, 06:43 PM		#5177: A note to redshirts, under no circumstances are you to ambush an emerald claw patrol in terrain like Rose Quarry and then make camp immediatly adjacent to the site of your battle. Particularly when you know full well that a large and well supplied camp is only a quarter of a mile away. Failure to obey this rule will result in your remains and immortal soul being turned over to Andrea for "recreational" purposes. Thank you, please drive through.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-20-06, 07:56 PM		Terra: I'm actually quite surprised by you, Volrath.

Volrath: Why?

Terra: I hadn't figured you had grown up so much in such a short time.

Volrath: Oh, thanks.

Terra: And I'd say that was quite the apology. I'm very proud of you.

Volrath: :embarrass :D
urial angel of death

04-20-06, 08:40 PM		5178) Neither Jingo nor Ninja Jeala are Yuffie.
5179) Volrath does not have Jenova, in his closet.
5180) That's a Shoggoth!
5181) Lisa is not Celes.
5182) Kelter, I don't care how well it would fit with your fan fiction.
5183) Terra's father is not a wolf shifter.
5184) Terra may not taunt Tifa by saying "My game's better than your game."
5185) Sa'vor does not have a katana taller than he is.
5186) Nor does he have flowing white hair.
5187) Kelter's playstation is confinscated.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-20-06, 09:36 PM		Ketler and Allen enter Jarlots cabin as they finish a heated discussion.

Ketler: Hey, Captain.

Jarlot: Yeah?

Ketler: Allen and I have this bet going, and we wanted to ask you something.

Jarlot: Shoot.

Allen: What was it that Bunny Rabbit was always trying to get Captain Kangaroo to say?

Jarlot: Oh, that's easy. Pingpong ball.

*KAFWOOOSHHHHHHH*

An untold number of pingpong balls pours out of the ceiling, burying Jalot.

Jarlot: (muffled) THE HELL?!!!

Ketler: YESSSS!!!

Allen: Those have been up there forever!!!

5188: I am not Captain Kangaroo
5189: Volrath's bunny is not that Bunny Rabbit
5190: No one is to get me to say pingpong ball-
*KAFWOOSSHHHH* -ever again. :mad:
Charles Phipps

04-20-06, 11:34 PM		Sutkeh: I am indeed....worthless.

Captain jarlot: And here's where I heroically crash that flying rowboat into you with all those spell-cannonballs.

*the ship speeds away even as there's a mammoth explosion of over a hundred stored spells going off at once and shaking the side of the massive fire pillar*

Captain Jarlot: See, the Problem has resolved itself.

*CRACK BOOM*

Ketler: If by resolved itself you mean that Sutekh is now thoroughly *****ed off in addition to being now self destructive.

Captain Jarlot: No! This is good! In his agony he's probably going to self destruct!

Ketler: Ummm...I'm no stranger to thermodynamics but...

Captain Jarlot: Thermo...what...

Ketler: *sigh* Equivalent Exchange.

Captain Jarlot: Oh! Alchemy!

Ketler: But let's assume that every single crazed homicidal fanatic whose ever worshipped the Silver Flame has been absorbed by Sutekh.

Captain Jarlot: And...

Ketler: We might need to think of a new plan before we need to send a boy named Kal-El from our world.

Aerith: Well phooey, I never got to display my immunity to burning powers because of my innate snuggly soft goodness.
Phantomcrossing

04-20-06, 11:53 PM		OOC: What's going on, did Volrath trap him in the sword or is he still cavorting about and having Jarlot ram rowboats full of spell balls at him?

IC:


In a place of silver and light, Norbaz finds himself floating amongst the empty husks of several redshirts and obviously dressed empty husks of silver flame worshippers.

Norbaz: ...Okay, did detonating the unstable magical/psionic helm kill me and get my soul enveloped into Sutkeh...or did it open up a dimensional rift sending me to the universe inside him full of the spent souls he is absorbing for his cause...

The cooky pricks himself with his desicating dagger, and watches as his finger looks like it dries and shrivels as it bleeds.

Norbaz: Yup, not dead...and I'm inside of Sutkeh...great. Not exactly a win scenario, the only thing keeping me alive is probably my necklace of adaptation...hmm...left the spoon on the outside, can't try and flood him with Chili...or can I.

Norbaz rolls up his sleeve to reveal a blood red tatoo of revamped murlond's spoon adorning his upper arm. Pressing the tatoo the spoon forms in his hand.

Norbaz: Ketler, thank you for the advice...why make one when you can have two at twice the price.

Norbaz activates the spoon, and holds it far from him as a sphere of chili begins to vill the silvery and fiery void at the end of his spoon.

Norbaz: If I get out of his alive...I have to destroy that letter, otherwise I'm gonna die of embaressment.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-20-06, 11:58 PM		OOC: What's going on, did Volrath trap him in the sword or is he still cavorting about and having Jarlot ram rowboats full of spell balls at him?


How I understand it is that the thing that was rampaging around the ship was just a part of him, or a manifestation. Either one works. Volrath trapped that, leaving only the hurricane-like body outside the ship. I had completely forgotten about that, too. Note to self: Pay closer attention to the details.
Charles Phipps

04-21-06, 12:43 AM		That's what I got.

Strange.

Hmm.
Phantomcrossing

04-21-06, 12:48 AM		Oh, okay, I was confused for a second, thanks...does anyone have the foggiest what manifesting that much chili inside a deific being will do....I sure don't
Charles Phipps

04-21-06, 01:12 AM		Oh, okay, I was confused for a second, thanks...does anyone have the foggiest what manifesting that much chili inside a deific being will do....I sure don't

Think Godzilla...

Think Godzilla puking...
Kaizer_Ryu

04-21-06, 01:45 AM		Think Godzilla...

Think Godzilla puking...

:OMG! OH MY HOLY GODS!!! RUN AWAY!!!!
rampant

04-21-06, 04:14 AM		Kithle - What!!! your sealed get in your sword an stay there.

Sutekh - *RALPH*

Kithle - Thats just wrong.

Norbaz - It worked i'm alive, Now someone wash off this mess before I die.

Sutekh - Noooooooooooo

Lisa - Um the sword is moving.

Sutekh - AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Severed of the souls providing its power the last remnants of Sutekh can no longer resist the bindings placed upon the sword. The vortex is drawn into the blade and the sword completes its bind with a final rune.

Lisa - Thats not a celestial mark.

Kithle - Indeed not thats an old darguneese rune for responsibility.

Lisa - Why?

Kithle - The Dargun were the greatest of the mortal Empires. Outsiders, dieties, many of the more monstrous species, and creatures like them are products of fate. Its almost impossible for those born of Pure Immortal lineage to be anything else. Mortal life brings with it a limited time to act in, but an unlimited scope. We have a unique power to be more than the roles determined for us. As such we cannot excuse our actions by claiming that we are evil- or good- inclined. We have the burden of responsibility for our actions, for the people we become.

Volrath - But it was my Binding spell.

Kithle - where did you find it?

Volrath - It was in a book written by some wacko-sage Called Giver of berries who needs to lose 20 lpbs.

Terra - Wait a second, death paper takes dictaion too?

Kithle - He is a newspaper, litterally he started out as a way to keep up with the rest of the world since the normal courriers stopped doing business with us, after that things got a little out of hand. The next thing I know I'm the proud papa of a bouncing baby berzerker.

Norbaz - Hello help!!! any day now woul be nice.

Terra - Oh fine (summons a water elemental on top of Norbaz)

Norbaz - glub glublub blugug ----translating---- I hate you so much.
Charles Phipps

04-21-06, 04:46 AM		Jarlot: Well that was anti-climatic.

Ketler: Really. I thought it was really cool.

Jarlot: Well yes, the original binding was but the whole Cyclone about to destroy the world thing and..."oops, sorry, its in the sword."

Ketler: I think it was quite powerful. A sense of....Haha...just kidding. Like the Scream killer jumping up only to be shot again.

Jarlot: I'm just saying that it took the entire Silver Flame to bind the creature last time and now its bound again.

Ketler: They explained it. Dargunn mark and all. It's actually quite mythical really.

Jarlot: I'm just saying I could have used some more explosions is all.

Ketler: You're just never satisfied.

Jarlot: Hey if my conversation with Khyber did nothing then...

Aerith: :inlove: YAY! WE DID IT!

Tifa: BEHOLD THE GLORIES OF JARLOT!

Jarlot: Oh hell!

*runs away with Aerith on his back*

*Jaela, Sailor Scout thanks then Kithle*

Jaela: Wow, we're never living this down at the Silver Flame. Thank you for what you've done, the world owes you a debt of gratitude.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-21-06, 02:02 PM		While everyone is busy feeling anti-climactic, Cheese walks up to Lisa.

Cheese: Let me see that sword for a minute.

Since she's not really sure what to do with the blade, Lisa decides Cheese can't do it any harm. She hands it over.

Cheese examines the blade for a minute, then plunges it into his body. There is a brief feeling of time stopping, and then Cheese is gone.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-21-06, 02:33 PM		( Sa'vor stands staring over the deck, Terra and lisa stand next to him. Slip is somewhere in the shadows)
Lisa: well, it looks like you slitting that old guys throat in his sleep has been redeemed

Sa'vor: indeed

Lisa: and possibly all your other evil acts

Sa'vor: indeed

Terra: doesnt that make for an alingment change? you've just commited a good and selfless act to save the world.

Sa'vor: protecting the crew and trying to stop law taking over the world?

Terra: yes

Lisa: so that means your good now...

Sa'vor: oh kyber
( suddely theres a bright flash of white light that engulfs Sa'vor. it clears, and before them stands sa'vor once again, but he's changed drasticly. now he stands in robes of pure white, his colourless eyes emit a feeling of serenity and peacefulness. the armour slightly visible beneath the robes has changed as well. instead of being black and jagged its transferred to being silver and elegeant with gold details, the ruby that once marked its chest has vanihsed replaced with a shimmering diamond. his torque now bears two Sapphires instead of rubies. dangling form his belt is a glowing silver holy symbol. the runes on his armour and skin have changed becoming Irial runes.)

Terra: Sa'vor?

Sa'vor: ( blinks) yes?

Terra: what just happened?

Sa'vor: i am not sure, but now, instead of hatred and darkness my soul is filled with a supreme love and respect of all life. i feel that i am in capable of cold blooded murder any more.

Terra: can you change back?

Sa'vor: ( thinks a moment) i am afraid i do not want to, i am disgusted by the twisted and evil person i once was. wielder of dark arts that frightened even the most experienced black magicain. im still capable of wielding such weapons but only in pursiuite of good.

Lisa: so your redeemed now?

Sa'vor: i am now redeemed, i follow the path of light and bear the mark of life. i must take my leave of you, i belive that there is much thinking i must do.

Slip: that was wierd

Lisa: well... at least im not the only lawful good member of this ship now

Terra: still, he could cause problems

Slip: i doubt it, he's was a violent murderer before, so now he's a passifist.
( in the back ground a redshirt bursts into laughter at seeing Sa'vor, reckoning that this passifist is weak he attacks. only to be knocked sprawled onto the floor from a blast of arcane energy)

Slip: then again...

Lisa: we should keep an eye on him
( ten minuets later below deck, Sa'vor walks stumbles across a large group of deamon worshippers, Sa'vor notes the human sacrifice they have perparred and raises a silver gauntleted hand. in it apears a mind blade of silver light.
the cultists turn and see Sa'vor.)
Cultist 1: Yo, Sa'vor, whant to help us sacrifice a human?

Cultist 2: wow, whats the matter with your clothes dude?

Sa'vor: vile deamon worshippers, lay down your weapons and repent

Cultist 1: your jokeing right?
( Sa'vor prepares a ligthning bolt)
Cultist 2: i dont thing he is

( the lightning bolt turns cultist one to ash, cultist two gets ready to run but is too slow. he gets decapitated by a thrown mind blade. Sa'vor raises a holy symbol and the black and twisted ones of the cultists turn to dust. he frees the sacrifice and lets it free. he then utters a prayr for pennance for killing)
Endless_Helix

04-21-06, 03:19 PM		Aureon : Hey, Dol!

Dol Dorn : What!?

Aureon : My cabinet of souls caught on fire and fell over, you know what that means, right?

Dol Dorn : Oh, hell...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sa'vor : Hello, small cute and fuzzy mammal, let me pet you. I think I shall hug you, and pet you, and name you George. Wow, being at one with the universe is more fun than I thought.

John : Well, enjoying yourself Sa'vor?

Sa'vor : John! It is most wonderful to see you on this brilliant afternoon! How are you doing?

John : I'm fine. How about you? You seem very peaceful.

Sa'vor : I am enjoying the sunset! I never knew that it could be so colorful! Now I know why you've chased so hard after enlightenment you've found!

John : I'm not enlightened. I try, but I am not fit to teach others. Perhaps one day I will be. That doesn't matter. Enjoy the sunsets, breathe the air, laugh, cry, what have you. The important thing is just to be.

Sa'vor : TAKE ME AS YOUR DISCIPLE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kithle : Kanatash, why did you drive Sa'vor insane?

Kanatash : I have to have a reason?

Kithle : He just asked the keel to take him as his disciple.

Kanatash : Crikey... umm... Yeah... That wasn't me.

Kithle : Oh... Why don't I believe you? Oh yeah, YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO DRIVE EVERYBODY INSANE!

Kanatash : Mmm... Yeah, but at least I'm honest about it.

Kithle : Hmmm... Alright, you're off the hook, but...

Kanatash : What?

Kithle : "Crikey"? Have you been watching Klaz's TV show?

Kanatash : I... SHUT UP!
Crystalforged

04-21-06, 03:30 PM		Kanatash: In my defense I was looking for new material for my little experiments with the redshirts and Klaz is clearly out of his mind. I was hoping to find out what caused him to lose his mind in the first place so I could repeat it.
Charles Phipps

04-21-06, 03:46 PM		Jarlot: I still give the Sword thing a 6.5. It just lacked...panache.

Ketler: You gave the finale to Angel a 6.5! There's no such thing as epic enough with you.

Jarlot: Transformers the Movie....

Ketler: I disavow that movie from Transformers continuity....

Jarlot: HOW THE HELL DO YOU DISREGARD....

*the bickering continues*
urial angel of death

04-21-06, 04:16 PM		6.5 is still passing with a D right :bigeyes:
Phantomcrossing

04-21-06, 04:35 PM		OOC: I think so...that's still passing.


Norbaz: Thanks for the wash off Terra...OH SWEET KHYBER, THE LETTER!

Norbaz runs off below deck leaving a dust trail after image of himself in his wake.

Terra: That was...odd.
Charles Phipps

04-21-06, 04:57 PM		OOC: I think so...that's still passing.


Ketler: I give an 8.5

Jarlot: I point out that we're using the Olympic grading scale also.

Ketler: Yes, very pleasing performance.

Rooseveldt: I wish you all death.

OOC: I very much enjoyed the ending.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-21-06, 05:54 PM		OOC: Why is this here (the line in bold)? I'm just asking because no matter how funny it is I can't understand why it exists.
Ketler: I give an 8.5

Jarlot: I point out that we're using the Olympic grading scale also.

Ketler: Yes, very pleasing performance.

Rooseveldt: I wish you all death.

OOC: I very much enjoyed the ending.
IC:
If we look deep within the magic of the binding swords (OOC: Severed of Souls? IC): we find the husk of what was once a proud Rakasha Rajah, Sutekh, now seemingly stripped of all existential power and simply existing because it will one day be needed…for who knows what reason. There is no sign of Cheese.

Yet if a threat of shadow is followed, followed through a plane made up of the base element of darkness, the infinite of non-existance, we find our mind's eye among a nebula of buzzing thoughts. We are in someone's mind at the very existential level. There are two blobs here, one small and black, another larger and silver.

Silver: Well that didn't work very well.

Black: You just had to go into your "The world needs to be cleansed of evil" phase again?

Silver: I can't help it. You try listening to the prayers of millions of humans, and some dwarves, and a few elves, etc., for hundreds of years and listen to them whine on about how "The problem with today's generation…" or "In my day people didn't go around stealing from each other…" and not want to smack them upsdie the head and say "HELLO? Things have ALWAYS been this bad! Did I tell to go purge all the lycanthropes? I think I merely suggested that lycanthropes were a problem, and that it could be solved with an application of extra-strength wolfbane?", and of course there's my rakasha body going "Kill! Be Evil! Serve the cause of Pain and Suffering!", and this self-rightious bird-snake going "Kill the demons!" every time I try to suggest being nice to them so that maybe they'll see for a second that they're not all that different and that being Good HAS A FEW ADVANTAGES!

Black: No wonder you made Jaela so hot.

Silver: I had to do something to entertain myself!
Charles Phipps

04-21-06, 06:06 PM		OOC:

It just exists randomly to show that Jarlot and Ketler's ramblings are as inane and annoying to the crew as they would be to us in real life.
rampant

04-21-06, 07:33 PM		Kithle - Rofl... Sa'vor...hahahahahaha...a good guy... hahahahahaha

Keal-thas - I'm worried

Kithle - I'll fix it ... Now is the perfect time to eat his brain!!! *drools*

Keal-thas - Sweet Machiavelli that look means trouble.

Kithle - Ah so you finished that outworld literature I snagged from Ketler.

Keal-thas - Most of us are, its hard with only one copy of each though.

Kithle - Yeah well my paycheck isn't big enough to bribe ketler for extras, copy them down your selves.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-21-06, 08:16 PM		The silver blob is floating in the same space as one of the spaces the thoughts fly through.

Silver: Uh-oh.

Black: You made a mistake?

Silver: For having helped bind me, Sa'vor has been turned to good.

Black: And the problem is?

Silver: Well, he has now asked to be John the keel's disciple.

Black: I still fail to see the problem.

Silver: Oh, wait, rewinding realtiy. Apparently he ripped apart some demon worshippers.

BIG GIANT VOICE: :censored: AND HE THINKS HE NEEDS TO BE GOOD TO DO THAT? WHAT'S THE POINT OF BEING GOOD IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE ALL HONORABLE? IT'S JUST NOT FUNNY! THAT'S WHAT I CAN'T STAND ABOUT MILITANT GOOD PEOPLE: THEY'RE SO WHINY ABOUT HOW GOOD IT IS NOT TO BE EVIL AND YET THEY GO AND BE EVIL WITHOUT FLINCHING!! OKAY, NOW WE HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM.

Black: I see you're back.

BIG GIANT VOICE: I NEVER LEFT, EVEN THOUGH I WAS GONE. YOU TWO MUST RETURN THERE AND MESS SOMETHING UP. I NEED A GOOD LAUGH.

Silver: And Sa'vor?

Black: You know we can't touch him. He's controlled by another Entity of Existance.

Silver: Oh, and I won the bet.

Black: Fine. You get to be the animal next time.
urial angel of death

04-21-06, 08:37 PM		Volrath looks down on a list in his hand

Thing I want to do before I become Dealkyr

1) (crossed off) Save the world.

2) (crossed off) Become more mature.

3) Make amends with my father.

4) Have a three-way with Japanese twins.

5) Hunt down Renal Drunhoon.

6) Torture him in every fasion possible, rinse, dry, repeat.

7) Find the one who calls himself Bondjamesbond.

8) Get one last kiss from (name is smudged out)

Volrath : Wow haven't looked at this in awhile. Who was that person in number 8?

OOC: Hope you all get the refrence in #4 and don't just think he's a perv.
Charles Phipps

04-21-06, 09:16 PM		Oh Behave
urial angel of death

04-21-06, 09:19 PM		Not if I can help it.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-21-06, 10:18 PM		Squishy: All right, now that the most current world destroying menace is gone, I have the report you wanted.

Terra: Oh, thanks.

She scans over the document, looking rather displeased.

Terra: (muttering) Bastards...

Squishy: As you can see, your suspicions were well founded.

Terra: Looks like I'll have to pay them a visit...

(later)

Terra: Hey, Captain.

Jarlot: Yeah?

Terra: I know it's a little short notice, but could you drop me off in Sharn?

Jarlot: Now? We still have psycho-good Sa'vor to deal with.

Terra: I know, but I can't really do much with that, and I have a rather urgent errand to attend to.

Jarlot: Fine, we'll stop there tomorrow.

(even later)

Terra: A moment, Kithle.

Kithle: Sure.

Terra: I'll be stopping by my headquarters tomorrow. I know I promised to show you around, but you'll be busy with Sa'vor and I need to go now.

Kithle: You forget, I can project an image of myself pretty much anywhere I want.

Terra: That'll work, too.
Crystalforged

04-22-06, 01:01 AM		Kanatash: Kithle, I would advise against sucking Sa'vor's brain. He is still a valuable asset to you Illithid empire. You should never destroy wantonly destroy such a resource.

Kithle: I know, but I really wanted to. I've always wondered what a half-dragon/half-vampire/elf/whatever's brain would taste like.

Kanatash: If it's that big of a deal I'm sure Kelter can rig something up with a cloaning machine.

Kithle: Good point. I suppose this means we have to turn him evil again.

Kanatash: Yeah, and I've already have a couple of ideas about what to do with him. However I want to wait a little while first.

Kithle: Why? I'll admit he is certainly no threat to us, but his goodness and gumdrops attitude is insufferable.

Kanatash: True, but our dear Sa'vor has undergone an alignment shift, nothing more. (evil smile) This means while he is good he's still a vampire and by my figures his need to feed should hit in the next day or so...

Kithle: (equally evil smile) I think I see where this is going. I concure, it should be highly amusing watching our new goody-goody Sa'vor struggle between the insane bloodlust and his new morals.

Kanatash: Decisions of that kind will drive most individuals mad and you know how much I love that kind of spectacle.

Kithle: And you keep saying I'M a bastard.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-22-06, 01:47 AM		Terra: I shouldn't be gone long, but if Sa'vor snaps before I get back, be sure to get footage of it.

Kanatash: Can do. I was planning on getting some anyway. I want to save the image of this goody twoshoes going all evil for posterity. And possibly blackmail. :devil:
rampant

04-22-06, 02:40 AM		Kithle - Isn't that Norbaz's Schtik?

kanatash - Who do you think gave me the recorder?

****

Chalky - Hey Sa'vor

Sa'vor - greetings

Chalky - Hey can I bum a few scales, you know I've always wanted to try to see what colors those would make.

Sa'vor - I don't see thee harm, let me ju... AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH

Chalky - Thanks (scampers off)

Sa'vor (minus most of his skin) - that was unnessesary roughness.

****

Kithle - I can't believe he didn't kill you on spot!!

Chalky - I find that audacity and brutality can shock even the migtiest and most jaded of beins. Plus i really do want to try some paints with these, so i decided to stock while I have the chance. If he ever comes after I was trying to shock him back, ok.

Kithle - Ok, then I'll just take this faded patch.

Kanatash - I'm never gonna let him live this down. That scene alone is worth a century or two at least.

****

Kithle - Now in exchange for getting the gold to rebuild the Cloning machine you gotta promise not to clone any crew with names after this, redshirts are ok, and no jealas. I will hurt you if I see so much as one extra jeala.

Ketler - Yeah yeah, threats of fates worse than death.

Kithle drops patch of sa'vor skin into machine, Ketler hits lever (ever notice how many K's end up in this crews' names) Machine smokes and whistles like something out of a b movie.

Kithle - the spinny gadget on top was too much, but nice use of smoke machines.

Ketler - Everybody's a critic.

An unsteady Sa'vor clone walks out of the billowing smoke and is promptly labotomized.

Kithle - My word that was exquisite.

Ketler - This is not going to end well. No way this is not going to end in pain. My question is though how did you get norbaz to pay for all this?

Kithle - I offered him the secret to an ingredient garunteed to add at least 2 alarms to his Chili.

Ketler - (stares at corpse) I wish i could muster up some shock. At least its only until this one runs out cloning a clone is asking for trouble and I doubt Sa'vor will stay like this too long.

Kithle - Yeah thats why I'm gonna tell Satnak too.

Ketler - Ok now impressed. Kithle you bastard.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-22-06, 10:02 AM		Defeated, the warforged once known as Stupid/Scholar mopes about a cell in the brig along with Phollie. Suddenly the warforged straightens with a new look of evil genius on his face. Anyone looking reeeeeeaaaaaaalllllllll close would have noticed that one of his eyes flashed black and the other silver.

Warforged: Phollie, are pondering what I'm pondering?

Phollie: I think so, friend—

Brain: Call me Brain.

Phollie: I think so, Brain, but they don't have Twinkies in this dimension.

Brain: No you long-faced short-brain, we must prepare for tonight.

Phollie: Why, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?

Brain: The same thing we do every night, Phollie. Try to convert Ninja Jaela………into PIRATE JAELA!

Chorus: They're Phollie…they're Phollie and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, dodle-le-do-do—

Phollie: But we've never done that before.

Brain: *bonks Phollie over the head with a closed fist*
Kaizer_Ryu

04-22-06, 11:29 AM		OOC: Any reference to Kithle is to his projection.

IC:

Somewhere in Sharn, Terra and Kithle stand before a wall in a back alley...

Terra: Here we are.

Kithle: There's some pretty heavy duty magic in effect here. Illusion spells?

Terra: To name one, yes. I rigged a system where you could only get in if it recognized you. Otherwise, any number of extraordinarily nasty things can happen. Unless, of course, you have magic immunity. Even then, you have to know where to look.

Terra goes up to the wall and places her hand on one of the off-colored bricks. The spell fades for a moment, revealing a door.

Terra: Shall we?

Passing through several more magical locks, they arrive in what can only be described as a small lobby. A few people walk about, but it is otherwise unremarkable. The receptionist looks up at them and immediately stands at attention.

Receptionist: M-ma'am?! We were unaware of your arrival!

The other people look up and freeze, mixed looks of fear and respect on their faces. Several nervous glances are directed at Kithle as well.

Terra: Stand down, I'm just here for a quick inspection. Could you inform Greg I have returned?

Kithle: Greg? Rather uninventive name...

Terra: Generically named disposable henchmen, a step up from Redshirt. Makes it easier to keep track of them.

She hands the receptionist a note as well. She reads it, bows, and runs off on her errand. They continue down the hall to her office, stopping before the door.

Kithle: Wow. You run a tight ship.

Terra: Looks can be deceiving...

Opening the door, Terra dodges three darts, a poisoned dagger, a bucket of acid, and counters several contigency spells, all with a sense of normalcy.

Kithle: What the hell was that all about?!

Terra: Oh, just the usual. I'm actually rather disappointed at their efforts this time.

She walks over to the desk, purposely setting off more traps, then sits down.

Terra: Once I take care of business, I'll give you a tour.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-22-06, 02:21 PM		( its midnight, the forgotten freedom is still docked in sharn ( mainly becausev no one can touch them and its funny to see how edgy the watch gets) a black cloaked figure walks up the gang plank and stands before Sa'vor)

Sa'vor: greetings traveller

Black cloaked figure: Greetings cousin

Sa'vor: Tara?

Tara: yes

Sa'vor: how did you find me? its been at least thirty years since we last met,

Tara: it has, i tracked you down by using detect magic, such a huge source of magic cant hide for long. im disgusted you've joined the light side, after everything they did to you.

Sa'vor: all things can be forgiven

Tara: ( projects memories) like this?
( a juvenile Sa'vor cowers as a mob of children pelt stones at him screaming
" Get the abomination", Sa'vor renembers the blood dripping from his face, the pure pain of thier hatred)
Sa'vor: they where just children, children cannot understand that we are all equal inside

Tara: well, what about this memory?
( this time Sa'vors older, he starts to walk towards a village, an flaming silver arrow imbeds itself in his arm. he screams in agony and hits the floor writhing as its holy flames sear his tainted flesh. the same mob surrounds him and beigins to beat him with sticks this time screaming
" Weak, you're tainted blood is weak" and " why dont you just end it abomination?")
Sa'vor: ( brushes a hand across the scar) sometimes people are blinded by thier faith

Tara: well, what about these memories passed down from our family line?
( This image is older, seen through the eyes of a child being led away, dragons and elves attack and slaughter the members of house d'vol. a lithe ranger is torn apart by dragon claws. mages are immolated by flame breath, beneath the childs feet lie the twisted and tourtured bodies of the house d'vol guards, some with flesh burned by acid. some just crumbeling skeletons. before the childs eyes a gaurd is decapitated by an elven scimitar, the child see's her mother cut down and hacked apart by curved blades before she and a few others are teleported away.)

Sa'vor: ( just catching on to the fact Tara's there) wait... i saw you die, thirty years ago, in this very city. you and the rest of my family where cut down by paladins. i saw it. i saw the blood shed, you where innocent, they where innocent. they where after me.

Tara: and we told them nothing, you are of our blood, you are part dragon like us

Sa'vor: how could paladins do that to innocent people? how can anyone justify slaughtering innocents for their bloodline. killing twisted murderers is one thing, they broke the laws and arenot protected by them. they deserve to be sent to death.

Tara: you've been blinded by your alingment change, you belive theres good in everyone. there isnt, theres only death and pain and darkness. you may feel contented, you may feel calm, but you dont see the suffering anymore, you dont see what good ruleing the world has done.

Sa'vor: its true, i dont see

Tara: are you happy as one of white?

Sa'vor: i feel slightly happy....

Tara: do you feel the extasy of magic you used to?

Sa'vor: i...

Tara: Do you?

Sa'vor: no, i dont, there is not joy in my magic. the only joy i ever felt.. its gone

Tara: and what is it traded for?

Sa'vor: calm and serenity, which i could of gained as one of the dark.

Tara: renember my death? renember the torutured screams of the last of the vol line? your breatherin?

Sa'vor: i do

Tara: do you renember the taste of blood ?

Sa'vor: i do

Tara: what do you feel for the paladins now?

Sa'vor: i ... pity and hate them. i pity them for thier blinded arrogance. i hate them for thier acts of violence against the innocent. i whant to .. destroy them beneath by boots. i whant to wield the dark magics again. i whant to bring an empire of fair and just treatment, where people follow the laws set down, where they are inforced once more. and i know now that it can only be done with evil

Tara: then all is as it should.

( theres a sudden sphere of darkenss that consumes Sa'vor, when he reappears, his robes are gone, his armour returns. a black hood coveres his face, his colourless eyes stare out with no compassion once more)
Sa'vor: im back...

Tara: how does it feel?

Sa'vor: i feel.. the pure hunger for knowlege and power, i feel the thirst for blood.i feel the hatred and the blood lust, i feel the exctasy of magic flowing through my viens.

Tara: then all is as it should be

Sa'vor: whats the real reason you found me tara?

Tara: i discovered that someone raised Dra'vos, he's training himself to destroy you.

Sa'vor: whom raised him?

Tara: Erandis D'vol, our old relative.

Sa'vor: how did you survive the attack?

Tara: when they killed me it was an image they killed, my real self was on mabar, where i contracted vampirism like you did. then i returned here after about ten years on mabar, i've been searching for the magical vaults the whole time. i found them, just before you did, and embraced thier knowlege. then i began to search for you

Sa'vor: it seems you've found me, whats your objective now?

Tara: to bring about this empire you dreamed of, to help you build this army

Sa'vor: yes, know your with us, nothing will stop our rise ....

Tara: dont be so sure

Sa'vor: i know, i know. thats just the kind of traditional thing you say
Kaizer_Ryu

04-22-06, 02:47 PM		Kithle: That was boring...

Terra: What was?

Kithle: Sa'vor changed back. Just like that. No blood, no madness, nothing.

Terra: Well, at least you and Chalky got something out of it.

At this time, there is a knock on the door, and a male human walks in.

Greg: (nervously) You called for me?

Terra: Ah, good timing. Kithle, this is Greg, one of my more promising underlings.

Kithle: He certainly fits the look of a henchman...

Terra: I left him in charge while I was away. But it seems that my faith was misguided.

Greg: (his face goes pale) W-what? What do you mean by that?

Terra: You honestly thought you could steal from me and get away with it?

Greg: Lies! I haven't done anything!

Terra: Silence, traitor!! I had an old friend of mine track you and your pathetic friends down. You hid your little scheme well, just not well enough.

Greg: Squishy...

Terra: Indeed. Your cohorts are already being rounded up. You know what happens to traitors here...

A look of terror consumes him and he bolts for the door. Before he gets there, Terra slams against the wall with a blast of Psionic energy.

Greg: (now pinned against the wall) Ugh...h-how are you...

Terra: I have gained a great deal more power during my absence. Though it isn't entirely necessary to deal with the likes of you, it makes it that much more fun. :devil:

Terra snaps her fingers and lets him down as two of her guards enter the room and take him away.

Kithle: Nicely handled. The look on his face was priceless.

Terra: It gets better. Wait till you see my punishment...
rampant

04-22-06, 02:47 PM		Kithle - We may have a new ally and a new enemy as well.

Terra - Bussiness as usual then

Kithle - i wonder how Sa'vor is going to react when he finds out about me eating a clone of his brain, especially the part where it gave me a big chunk of his powers.

Terra - He's not going to be happy, at the same time theres not much he can do about it at this point.

Kithel - Remind me to satnak exorcise S/S somethings messing with him.

Terra - I really wish people would stop trying to posses the crew it never ends well, for them. Plus it shows a lack of creativity at this point.

Kithle - Satnaks gotten enough practice recently she actually do more than suppress the possesing entity, she can actually draw them out and consume them.

Terra - About done here.

Kithle - Oooooh great, nowabout that tour.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-22-06, 04:10 PM		now for the bloody bit ....

( a gang of twenty redshirts walk through the corridors, safe in the knowlege that Sa'vor is no longer hunting them and that namless terrors do not attack people in large groups, at the back is jimmy, a friendly sort of redshirt. completly harmless. but unfortunatly. he's at the back. and everyone knows what happens to people travelling at the back. the darkness reaches out and grabs jimmy, his tourtured screams echo throughout the ship.)

red-shirt bob: what the?

Redshirt 112: wheres jimmy?

Nameless redshirt: he was here a second ago
( somthing moves, and all the red-shirts draw weapons)
Red-shirt JJ: what was that?

Red-shirt bob: it.. it could of been somthing nameless and horrible.. you know .. about to tear our souls from our bodies

Red shirt 122: you had to say that didnt you! you couldnt just keep your mouth shut!

Nameless red-shirt: lets just keep moving
( they continue to travel along the corridors, thier lanterns illuminate a huge pool of blood and a horrible mangled corpse. huge wrents are in its armour, horrible wounds and gashes leak blood and enlarge the pool. the corpses face is twisted into a terrible scream, the last scream of someone in horrible agony)
Red-shirt Bob: oh kyber ! its jimmy!
( he runs towards jimmy, not noticing the fine silk like strand of piano wire across the corridor. he runs into it at full pelt. his throat slit by the fine wire and a spray of blood splattering the walls)
Red-shirt 122: HOLY ****!

Nameless red-shirt: i think im going to be sick...

red shirt JJ: guys, i think you should see this
( the shine the lanterns to reveal a message written in jimmys blood, the message reads " So many redshirts and so little time")
Red-shirt 122: this is not good

( the shadows move and redshirt 422 fires his crossbow, the shadows dont react and reach out for him. he screams in terror and vanishes. the red-shirts huddle together thier crossbows primed)
Nameless redshirt: (panicing) oh kyber oh kyber oh kyber, we're gonna die. WERE GONNA DIE! ( he sprints off back the way they came, the shadows pulse around him, he screams and the red-shirts watch the bloody and violent death he sufferes. his mangled corpse is thrown to the floor. other red-shirts panic and run off into the darkness, only to be cut apart by the shadowy entity, blood now dripps from all the walls and corpses ( headless or otherwise) now litter the ground. all thats left is Red-shirt 122 and Redshirt JJ. )
Redshirt JJ: look 122, theres somthing i whant to tell you before i die

Red-shirt 122: yeah?

Redshirt JJ: 122, i've always hated you the most. and i hope when its fininished with my corpse that it spends extra long rending you limb from limb

Red-shirt 122: thanks, im sure i'll enjoy watching you die
( redshirt 122, screams as a bolt of red light strikes him, he then explodes in a shower of gore and blood, a back armoured form steps from the shadows, a black hood covering his face. he stares down at the cowering form of Redshirt JJ. all JJ can see in the light of the lantern are two colourless eyes)
Sa'vor: im sparing your life redshirt

redshirt JJ: why ? why dont you just kill me and get it over with?

Sa'vor: now go, go and tell all the other red-shirts what happened here. go tell them that im back, go tell them the horrible horrible things im going to do to them before i drink them dry

Redshirt JJ: why?

Sa'vor: because then they'll try harder to get away, because then they have a chance of possibly accending to crewhood. oh and because blood tastes better from someone whos afraid beyond belife. and i enjoy hunting difficult prey.

Redshirt JJ: i'll go now
( he runs of into the darkness, and behind him he hears the horrible manical laughter of sa'vor. a sound that haunts him for the rest of his life. every night he renembers that laugh. and the horrible colourless eyes.)
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-22-06, 04:18 PM		Igor steps up behind Sa'vor totally unnoticed. He surveys the bodies of the redshirts.

Igor: Thuperb, thir, if you don't mind my thaying.

Sa'vor: Not at all, Igor. After all, you've worked for more people like me than anyone on Eberron. Even I like hearing how I compare to others…though i don't let it go to my head.

Igor: That bit with the wire—

Sa'vor: Well, they can't all be traditional. I mean, traditions have to start somewhere.

Igor: I remember for mathter Haarghuul it was a thkeleton.

Sa'vor: What?

Igor: A Dhakaani necromanther I onthe worked for. He lured the thubject clother, and then the thkeleton thprang out of the body and attacked. You thee, he thecretly animated it. There wath a man with a thenthe of black humor.

Sa'vor: Wow, that is good.

Igor: The motht important quality in a villain ith alwayth the willingneth to meth with people'th mindth.

Sa'vor has a suddenly realization. It strikes him like Norbaz's chilli strikes the stomach.

Sa'vor: So that's why you work for Jarlot!
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-22-06, 04:35 PM		Aboard the FF the non-projection Kithle apparoaches Satnak.

Kithle: Your services are needed.

Satnak can't speak at the moment, since she's stuffing chilli into her mouth like there's no tomorrow (which, aboard the FF, is a real possibility).

Kithle: It's Stupid/Scholar. I've detected a possesing prescence. And you know what that means.

Satnak: Awright! Zortching time!

Kithle: Except…

Satnak: Doubt? You don't have doubt.

Kithle is silent for a minute, trying to come up with the best way to explain to Satnak how this entity works. He immediately rejects going through the trouble to explain how eletrons work. He also knows that Satnak is a direct thinker: see bad guy, zortch! bad guy.

Kithle: You know how Igor gets around without even me taking the time to notice him approach?

Satnak: Yes.

Kithle: It's like that. If I watch S/S's brain, I know they're there, I know when and how they're controlling him, but I can't bring myself to care. I figure you won't have that problem.

Satnak: I'm getting sick of all these super-creatures trying to mess with the FF and keeping Norbaz from making me better chilli. These one's won't know what hit them.
***
A few hours later Satnak has tracked down S/S to Ketler's lab. The two seem to be enganged in a heated haggle about something called a "helmet of ninja/pirate conversion", but Satnak really doesn't care.

Satnak: Get eaten, über-:censored:!

She steps out and hits S/S with the beam from her arm.

The beam sucks out two glowing ovals, one silver and one black, but rather than consuming them she hears "Finally!", and a silver-clad female elf teen and a crow pop into the air in front of her. Without an entity to suck up, the arm shuts off.

Elf: Okay, you were right, it worked.

Crow: Hey, thanks Kith!

The elf gets up and dusts herself off, with the crow landing on her right shoulder.

Satnak: Just who in Khyber are you two. [she says, pointing the arm at them]

Elf: Have you eaten all of the chilli?

Caught off guard by that question, Satnak just stands in her "crush deity" pose while the elf just shurgs and walks past.

Elf (whispered, in passing): Won't work on us.

Satnak (finding her voice): Who are you?

The elf and crow exchange glances.

Crow: Haven't decided yet.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-22-06, 08:09 PM		Terra and projection Kithle arrive at a large bolted double-door.

Terra: All right. First stop, the lab. My favorite place.

Kithle: Obviously.

Opening the door, Kithle sees a large room filled with beakers, jars, and shelves full of tomes and scrolls.

Kithle: Very mad scientisty.

Terra: Thanks, but this is more of the production and refinment room. I do most of my original work in the field.

Moving on, she leads him to another room, this one more of a greenhouse setup.

Terra: These are my pride and joy. I've spent years developing these. In here you'll find everything from black lotus to all manner of medicinal herbs.

Kithle: Medicinal herbs? Why?

Terra: I was originally an herbalist, trading medicines with local villages while I was in training. I got into drugs in a desperate effort to ease the suffering of Volrath's mother.

Kithle: Old habits die hard, eh?

Terra nods, then leads him to the next room. The door is magically sealed with another recognition lock. Terra places her hand on the door, and it swings open. This room is filled with tomes, filing cabinets, and several maps of areas of Eberron.

Kithle: Well, this is interesting. Information center?

Terra: For lack of a better term, yes. I keep records, information, intelligence, and the like in here. Only certain members of my staff are allowed in here, for reasons you have seen.

Kithle: There's something else I've noticed. The people I've seen so far couldn't possibly be capable enough to keep this place running.

Terra: True. Most of my best and brightest are out on missions. With what I do, I can't afford to skimp on talent.

Kithle: (looking at the books) Think I can browse?

Terra: Knock yourself out. There's still time before the finale.

Kithle: (browsing) Finale?

Terra: Just a little something I think you'll enjoy before I return.
Albert

04-22-06, 08:53 PM		As they walk out, Aerith/Brianna is passing by. She sees them, hugs the half-elf and pets the raven.


Shortly after that she finds Sa'vor.

Brianna: "You decided not to accept redemption? Oh, Sa'vor, I'm so sorry!"

She tries to hug him.

Sa'vor: "Deva, if you don't keep her away from me, I swear I will find a way to end you."

Aerith: "Doing so would result in extensive damage to yourself - is that a price you are willing to pay?"

Sa'vor: "Quite possibly."

Aerith: "In any event, Good has the right to make an attempt to change your mind. Are you ready?"

Sa'vor: "You have got to be joking."

Aerith: "My apologies, but no. To begin: Aside from the esctasy of using magic, do you ever feel any joy or happiness equal to the baseline feelings you had as a Redeemed One?"

Sa'vor: "No. And how hypocritical of you, to listen in on a private conversation. Typical of your kind."

Aerith: "Very, actually. You forget, I am a Being of what some call the Outer Planes. I am not limited to your baseline of 5 spatial dimensions. Privacy on this ship simply does not exist from my perspective. My . . . I suppose you would call them 'manners', take this into account. I do not normally discuss private information with people who are not already privy to it. Furthermore, it is impossible to spy on us at the moment, at least for any creature below my level of transcendance. There are precisely three other creatures on this ship who might be able to break my veil, and they are not trying to do so."

Sa'vor: "Who would that be?"

Aerith: "I'm sorry, but that is private information, at least for now. To continue: Why did you suppose that you would be unable to develop a source of intense joy as Sa'vor the White?"

Sa'vor: "You know, that really is the smallest reason. I turned my back on Good because Good never succeeds at being good. I may be Evil to do it, but my rule will result in people who are good, and not just Good."

Aerith: "Thereby doing great harm to those people."

Sa'vor: "What?"

Aerith: "You do realize that most people aren't Good? It is extremely hard for mortal cultures to consistantly be majority Good. If you restrain yourself and merely teach those who will listen, you are in for heartbreak. If you force them to obey, you do them absolutely no good."

Sa'vor: "To h**l with doing them good. I will protect their victims."

A single tear tracks down the angel's face.

Aerith: "The victims you would protect will not live up to your dream, great-soulled champion. They will fall short of your dream to the precise degree that you attempt to shelter them in this fashion. The Creators first warned of this, and we of Heaven have watched it again, and again, and again."

Sa'vor: "Do you honestly expect me to believe you feel grief?"

Aerith: "No. But I tell you true, my grief is more exquisite than anything you can imagine. And this, also, is true: The paladins who slaughtered your kin will suffer for it even more sharply, though they be enthroned upon the endless delights that await the righteous."

Sa'vor: "Oh, so they've been stripped of their paladin-hood?"

Aerith: "No. They acted in good faith. It is not the fault of Heaven that a caution and a warning was perverted and made a tool of genocide. Those who encouraged that . . . they are not on your side, for you do not rule Them and They do not rule you. But you have much in common, now, and that is by your choosing, and to Their mirth."

Sa'vor: ". . ."

Aerith: ". . ."

Sa'vor: "I don't care what lies you tell me. My empire will rise, and it will be fair and just, and it will be more than rule by whatever pack of bullies runs the world this week!"

Aerith: "I see. If you succeed in building your empire, I hope you have the courage to hold to that vision."

Sa'vor: " . . . I'm going to regret this. Care to explain that last bit?"

Aerith: "Your empire, as described, will consume you down to the last drop of blood and spark of eldritch power. So far, all who would use evil to bring about good have - without exception - compromised their vision, generally resulting in a horror that is remembered for eons. Let us pray you are unique in this regard. May your soul never diminish."

She begins to walk off. Sa'vor calls after her.

Sa'vor: "Now that that's done, care to share anything about Silver and her Crow?"

Aerith: "I'm afraid that this is one of those things where, if you don't have the ability to fully understand, it's better to blunder around in ignorance and thereby gain a measure of true insight, than to receive a partial and inevitably misunderstood description."

*****

In the corner of their mind, Brianna is curled up and sobbing. Aerith lays a hand on her head.

Aerith: *It's okay, Brianna, you don't have to be sad anymore.*

Brianna: * . . . Thank you. How can you feel that kind of sadness and not die?*

Aerith: *It helps that I'm not mortal. In time, you, too, will be taught how to endure in the face of divine sorrow.*

Brianna: *Why would I ever want to do feel that?*

Aerith: *It is part of the endless and infinite joy of Heaven. There are pleasures in Hell, there is pain in Heaven, but that does not mean the first is preferable to the last. You'll understand better when the joy of Heaven is yours directly, rather than being filtered through me.*
Charles Phipps

04-22-06, 09:07 PM		Ah Albert, that was beautiful.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-22-06, 10:24 PM		OOC: I agree, Albert. Awesome stuff. :clap:

IC:

Kithle has picked up a book of records and has found something of immense interest.

Kithle: It seems you've been watching us for a while.

Terra: Yeah. With all the ruckus you've caused over the years, the FF definately warrented a close watch.

Scanning further, Kithle stops dead about halfway down the page.

Kithle: Wait, wait. If this is right...

Terra: (smiling) I owed you guys for destroying the Thranish armada a few times. It kept them off my back.

Kithle: YOU'RE the reason no reinforcements showed up during the Kundarak Bank job?!

Terra: I didn't know Sa'vor and Naz'roth were after the gauntlet, but I had my contacts cut off communication with the outside. You guy's were too valuable not to do anything.

Kithle: But aren't you in the drug trade?

Terra: That's how I finance my operation, but it's more accurate to say I'm a major player in the black market. Where did you think I get all my rare stuff?

Kithle: I have sorely underestimated you. I guess I shouldn't have skimmed over that part in Dal Quor.

Terra smiles and pulls out another book.

Terra: (tossing it at him) Here, check this out.

Kithle: (flipping through) This is a compilation of info on the heavy hitters in each nation...

Kithle comes to a section on Queen Aurala and his eyes grow in disbelief.

Kithle: You have Aurala's MEASUREMENTS?!!

Terra: What? :angelhide
Albert

04-23-06, 12:35 AM		Thanks, guys. :blush:

Trying to write for someone a lot smarter and better than me is, well, daunting. (It's much easier to make the opposition so stupid that smart dialog isn't necessary. *coughMichaelcough*)

My take on Aerith is that if she were to act, it would remove the freedom of just about everyone on the ship. Since she's not interested in actualizing Galadrial's temptation*, she leaves the acting to Brianna (who is, frankly, drugged to the gills on Divine Joy**) and focuses mainly on, well, preaching to people powerful enough to blast normal missionaries to smitherenes.

Is there a consensus on how powerful Tifa's demon is? Stronger than Aerith? About the same? Weaker? I don't think Aerith is willing to engage it on any but the most limited levels, but that could be to keep the ship from being destroyed.


BTW, the 3 who can shield themselves from Aerith and try to pierce her own veil of privacy are Tifa's Demon, Silver, and Crow. Unless we want to say otherwise.

-Albert

* "In place of a Dark Lord you will have a Queen. Not dark but beautiful as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH!! All shall love me and dispair!"

** People in heaven generally gain a tolerance, and thus an ability to function seriously, after a few decades.
Charles Phipps

04-23-06, 01:30 AM		* Rated PG-13 for induendo.

Ketler: Captain, I have to ask something...

Jarlot: Quiet...I've almost won over the Scarlet Empress with my successful seduction roll. I just need one more success...

*Jarlot botches his next Exalted role*

Jarlot: DAMNIT!

Ketler: Again, you blasphem us with this game.

Jarlot: I'm banned from competing in official Dungeons and Dragons Con games after I pimp slapped Keith Baker.

Ketler: To be fair, he did touch your dice.

Jarlot: So what is it that you want to know.

Ketler: Yes, its about Tifa...

Jarlot: Ketler, you're not going to be helping her with her scheme to inbreed chocobos are you?

Ketler: Oh hell no! I hate animals.

Giant Demonic Chocobos: SQUAWKKKK OF DOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

Ketler: Andrea and Terra are helping her with them though.

Michael: We need to know why you aren't shagging that hot babe left and right.

Jarlot: I'm in love with Aerith.

Michael: So what? Invite her to join in! My Heaven certainly has stuff like that in it.

Doog: Yeah cause women are....for having sex with and stuff. YEAH!

*sticks thumb up*

Doog: thinks They suspect. I know they suspect. Quick, gotta think up a filthy limerick.

Kanatash: Oh don't worry Doog. The only people who know are all the telepaths on board...ALL of us.

Doog: EEEEEEEK! *jumps over the side of the ship*

Jarlot: What an odd reaction. Well the answer is simple...

Michael: and don't give us...she might kill us during sex arguement. That's never stopped you before!

Ketler: Heck, you're still involved with Marish.

Marish: I charge 5 gold for a wag, 10gp if you pet me.

Michael: That's robbery.

Ketler: *counts* 10 silvers equal a gold...what do I get for 8?

Marish: An ear scratch.

Jarlot: Well the answers simple really.

Ketler: You're not really into women like Doog?

Michael: Say what?

Ketler: Man, you are just completely blind aren't you?

Michael: Whatever man.

Jarlot: She's a Balor.

Everyone but Jarlot: :uh-huh:

Jarlot: Basically, our little big bossomed fighting monk is actually Glorithanas the Balor of Shelvaresh. Banished to the Eberron for....I dunno...some reason. She doesn't remember being one and it manifests usually as demonlings about her but she is. If she ever recovers her memory she's likely to become a considerably less hot avatar of destruction.

Michael: That is SOOOO COOL.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-23-06, 02:41 AM		OOC: Ok, last one. Seriously. Character development is fun! And :heehee

IC:

A messenger arrives outside the door, whispers something to Terra, then leaves.

Terra: Though I hate to interrupt, it's time for that little finale I promised.

Kithle: Oh, good.

She heads through a series of corridors, finally leading to an underground colloseum. The seats are about half full, some of the spectators Kithle recognizes from the tour. Near the center of the arena, he can see several people bound, one of which is Greg. They sit next to a large hole in the ground, which he cannot see into properly.

Kithle: Ooooo, this should be good.

Terra: I still have to thank Igor for helping me set this up. The combination of spectacle and terror is hard to achieve any other way.

She takes her place before the seat of honor overlooking the helpless would-be conspirators. Stepping forward, she addresses the crowd.

Terra: Friends! Compatriots! I stand before you today to pass judgement upon those who would betray us! These scum have been found guilty of stealing not just from me, but from all of you who work so hard to make this organization great! They conspired against us, undermining our achievements to further their own selfish goals! There is but one punishment for such a crime!

During the speech, the crowd grew more and more angry at the prisoners, throwing what they had at them. Rocks, food, and trash flew at them alongside words of scorn. At Terra's last statement, the crowd erupted into a chrous, screaming "Death! Death to the traitors!"

Terra: Then let it begin!

At this, Terra whistles. From the pit, several large vines covered in spikes appear. Next, a head-like protrusion at least six feet in diameter emerges that looks vaguely like a Venus Flytrap. The doomed scream as the plant creature reaches for the closest one. His cries can easily be heard as the creature lifts him up. In one swift motion, the creature rips off one of his arms, gulping it down. Again and again, the plant tears pieces off him and devours them. The process repeats itself for each of the conspirators, the crowd transfixed in a combination of savage bloodlust and abject terror. During the episode, Terra is beside herself in manaical laughter.

Terra: Oh, it's been far too long since I've done something like this! :evillaugh

When all was finished, the plant returns to the hole. Once again, Terra got up to speak.

Terra: And thus shall be the fate of all who would betray us! Remember, friends, for you there is security and comfort in these walls. For our enemies, only oblivion.

The crowd disperses and Terra looks back at Kithle.

Terra: Well?

Kithle: Let's see. Inspiring unity. Taking a crime against yourself and turning it into a slight against everyone. A gigantic monster at your beckon call. A horrific death in front of the whole staff. Manaical laughter at the destruction of your enemies. A cold blooded threat disguised as a friendly reassurance. The power to back up said threats...

Terra: So you liked it?

Kithle: Let's just say that if I didn't already know the answer, I'd seriously consider asking you to marry me at this point.

Terra: :D I'll take that as a yes. Oh! I have one last thing to show you.

Terra leads him down a starcase running under the colloseum. At the end of the corridor is a large door. Upon entering the room behind it, Kithle can see the plant-thing from before, curled up on the floor.

Terra: Beautiful, isn't she? I call her Genevive, and I created her about 20 years ago.

Terra walks over to the plant, giving its head a big hug. What happens next creeps Kithle out beyond words.

Terra: (in baby talk) How are you, my little shnookums? Did you miss Mommy? I missed you! You were such a good girl today! (she begins scratching its head) Yes you were! Yes you were!

Kithle: *ahem*

Terra: (slightly flustered) :embarrass Huh? Oh! Right...sorry. I get a little carried away sometimes... (turning to Genevive, again in baby talk) Mommy has to go again, sweetie, but I'll make sure they take good care of you!

Kithle: Stop doing that!

Terra: I can't help it! She's my little baby!

Kithle: Just when I thought I understood you...

Terra: ANYway. Before I head back, I will arrange for the locks to recognize you. My information network is at your disposal, so long as it doesn't interfere with daily operations or expose my operatives.
Chrys

04-23-06, 10:59 AM		Is there a consensus on how powerful Tifa's demon is? Stronger than Aerith? About the same? Weaker? I don't think Aerith is willing to engage it on any but the most limited levels, but that could be to keep the ship from being destroyed.

.

Well the Deamon is about Cr 30 [In 3.0 it was 25.] But it does not have any really control as long as Tifa has her Exalted feat, So Bob has been trying to get rid of them... I can get her to break the Knight of the Starts feat... but has not clue how To get rid of Nymph kiss.

If he ever does get rid of them Bob and Tifa would fuse... and you'd have Demon Lady as a crew member.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-23-06, 11:20 AM		Tara D'vol .
Half-dragon, valenar elf, Mabran Vampire.
Uber, True necromancer, Dragon mark heir

* Tara is the Sa'vors cousin, about ten years older than him
* Tara was orginaly of neutrul alignment whom dabbled in necromancy
* Tara and her family helped Shelter Sa'vor near the end of the last war after he'd succesfuly destroyed a thranish airship construction yard and millitary compound. unfourtunatly thranish pladins tracked Sa'vor down and slaughtered the family. Sa'vor managed to escape beliveing that he was the last of his bloodline ( since his father ( and her uncle) was killed in a raid and his other family members died of plauge)
* Tara did in fact not die, she managed to plane shift to mabar where she spent quite a few years
* Tara is perhaps one of the few people whom have the ability to make Sa'vor tell them somthing he doesnt want to ( mainly by twisting his arm behind his back)
* Tara's more of a free spirit than Sa'vor, she's quite the Anti-hero
* Taras far more social than Sa'vor
rampant

04-23-06, 04:02 PM		Projection Kithle - Oh dammit, the critters in S/S head are gonna be sticking around.

Terra - Oi just what we need more Ubers.

PK - You know that angel really isn't very smart.

Terra - Huh?

Kithle - I can't belive how often people forget I don't have to get info from them. Just from someone they've told. Sa'vor's mind is open to me now I know all about the conversation she tried to hide from me now that Sa'vor is no longer under the veil. Though I think she under estimate my skill. I'm sure me and Kanatash, could break it together, or satnak just plain break it if she chooses to develope that ability. Also the Captain shouldn't worry about those memories resurfacing, If I didn't pick them up they aren't there anymore. Of course I'm stil gonna let him suffer.

Terra - Is it weird with your mind bouncing across eberron like that?

Kithle - Frankly it creeps the Kybher out of me.

****

Kithle - Deva, one warning, do not even try to lecture me on good vs. evil I'm sick of caring. Mortals have something you don't really get, the choice of the middle path. I don't wan't my empire to be good or evil. I want it to be strong. Regardless of the individual ethos and morals of the populace. Those who have ambition and capabiliy to do so will do so. Those unfit to rule will be reoved by those more suited, but It will still be my legacy, and it all starts with something I've learned is the key to Happiness : Think, Live, and Die according to your own vision. Don't let anything, or anyone stand in the way.

Aerith - How is that different from Anarchy.

Kithle - It will be my Anarchy. Much as this ship is Jarlot's.

Aerith - Are you telling me you intend to recreate the world into something inspired by your life on the Forgotten Freedom.

Kithle - Yes I think I am.

Aerith - ...............

Kithle - I can't believe it, I caught a Celestial speechless.

Aerith - NUTBUNNIES

Kithle - Your kidding me.

Aerith - I think I've been hanging out in Brianna's head too much.
Endless_Helix

04-23-06, 05:08 PM		V : Ketler.

Ketler : Mmmm... *snork* Jaela... plug suit... zzzzzzzzzzz...

V : Ketler!

Ketler : *Incomprehensible murmur*

V : KETLER, GET UP YOU LAZY ****!

*V kicks Ketler out of bed*

Ketler : WHAT?!

V : We need to talk.

Ketler : You don't even exist! You're just a figment of my adolescent imagination and an overactive sex-drive!

V : Oh ho! Is that what Kanatash wants you to believe? That I'm not real? MUAHAHAHAHA! I have quite the surprise for him... *giggle*.

to be continued....
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-23-06, 09:04 PM		Kithle, very pleased with himself for getting the jump on Aerith, returns to his lab.

But he stops in awe at the statue he sees in the middle:
It's black. He doesn't know how black. It's so black that he can't really see any part of it that isn't lit from behind, yet he can also "see" in his mind's eye that it is a statue of him. He's not standing as if the emperor of some empire, he's not standing in some combat pose. He's standing in a defiant pose, one fist raised, mouth open as if roaring to the heavens. On the statue's base is an inscription:

"The key to Happiness : Think, Live, and Die according to your own vision. Don't let anything, or anyone stand in the way."—Kithlemin, half-illithid master of learning every power and all around nice guy

"Thank you Kithle, for expressing what we could not."
—Silvercat Moonpaw
rampant

04-23-06, 10:03 PM		Kithle - Is it my birthday or Something? This is going in the courtyard. Until then were Am i gonna put it so it isn't in the middle of floor?
Kaizer_Ryu

04-23-06, 11:13 PM		Terra: (behind Kithle) Wow, nice statue.

Kithle: Gah! How long have you been there? And how did you sneak up on me?

Terra: Only a moment and I always wanted to try because my stalf gives bonuses to Move Silently and Hide checks. Jingo's right, it is fun. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-24-06, 07:29 AM		Kithle: Well, probably the best person to call for this job is Igor.

Igor (appearing suddenly behind Terra and Kithle): You called, thir?

Terra: Gah!

Kithle: Now who's having fun.

Terra: I thought I'd gotten used to that.

Igor: It'th been a while thinthe the thecret bathe, mith. And I mutht thay, the Forgotten Freedom ithn't my normal plathe of employment. I've had to adapt all my thkillth.

Kithle: You sure that I can't learn how to do that.

Igor shakes his head.

Igor: It'th tradithionel that only truely dedicated henchmen can achieve thith level of thervithe. Now, let'th thee about moving that thtatue. I think we can enlitht tome of thir Tha'vorth half-dragonth. They could thertanly uthe the exthperienthe.

Terra: Of being henchmen?

Igor: Of moving heavy thingth.
Phantomcrossing

04-24-06, 10:05 AM		Norbaz stands in the kitchen, cooking with the door locked. After beating the chili back into its pot with a spoon, he tries to steady his thoughts aloud.

Norbaz: Okay...so the letter wasn't there under the door when I went back...think...maybe a redshirt found it and thought it would make good blackmail on me. No...then the news would have spread among them like wildfire among them and I'd know about it. Someone too it, either from or into the door...either one doesn't bode well...damn...damn.

As he muses, he fails to notice Satnak in the room.

Satnak: You should watch your angsting and pay more attention to the stove.

Norbaz: AH! Don't do that...wait, Satnak? Didn't I give you one of the spoons of endless Chili?

Satnak: No...actually that's why I'm here.

Norbaz: Could have sworn I gave it to you....sorry about that, here.

Norbaz takes one of two blazng red spoons from his belt and hands it to the half elf.

Satnak: Thanks...you know from what I've heard, you probably forgot because of all this drama going on in your mind.

Norbaz: Yeah...that's sounding about right.

Satnak: Well, don't think to hard. I may now have an endless supply of chili, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try any of the new blends your working on.

Norbaz: Heh, thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

Satnak leaves Norbaz to his thoughts and lattest batch of chili, and another pair of eyes watches him from the shadows. A pair of cat eyes, followed by a mischevious grin with thoughts of blackmailing the chef consuming its thoughts....oh yes, Marish would have fun with this situation.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-24-06, 10:53 AM		OOC: I wonder how many people will catch the last reference...

IC:

Giant Demonic Chocobo: WAAAARRRKKKKK!!!!

Terra: All right, all right.

Tifa: What'd he say?

Terra: Well, since they're not completely natural, I'm having a little trouble understanding the dialect, but I think he said something about keeping Marish away from him.

Marish sits in stalker mode on the other side of the deck, drooling. Just before she pounces, Andrea grabs her by the collar.

Andrea: NO! Bad kitty! No Chocobo for you!

Marish: :weep:

Giant Demonic Chocobo: WAAAARRRRKKKK!!!!

A look of shock and slight disgust crosses Terra's face.

Tifa: Now what'd he say?

Terra: Something about 'rubber tubing' and 'certain parts of her mother'. (shaking her head) You don't wanna know.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-24-06, 05:26 PM		(In Sa'vors citadel dimension, from the training grounds echo the sounds of spells and weapons training, the hiss of arrows flying through the air and the loud barkings of Corporals to whip new batch soldiers into shape and train them in the physical and damanding tasks ahead of them. Feal-thas stands on the training grounds perfecting his art at wielding spell and balde together. Sa'vor and Tara stand on the balconies above watching the troops battle against summoned or illusioary foes and watch the wraith like scout divisions move silently through the trees)

Tara: this is an impresive army you've got here, how many of them are there?

Sa'vor : almost ten thousand, and i've only had a month. the fully trained ones have been assigned the jobs of trainers to speed the process up. all ready thier quite capable of inflicting heavy casualties on an army four times their size.

Tara: why build this legion at all? couldnt Kithle just destroy all the countries armies with his magical might?

Sa'vor: he could, but he is only one soul. these billions to be will be the enforcers, they will crush human armies with thier skill with the aid of magic and weapon. strenght, magical ability, intelligence and tactics all rolled into a base creature that can survive the most hazardous conditions.

Tara: what happens to the ones whom die in training?

Sa'vor: if it was a first mistake then they're raised, but if the Half-dragon in question was a liability; not fit for his role he was designed for we try and find a new role for him. i cant waste precious soldiers.

Tara: amazing though. how disiplined they are, the armies i've seen have always been a horde or a collum thats held together only by a thread. how did you do it?

Sa'vor: that would be telling

Tara: ( grabs his arm and thrusts it behind his back. Sa'vor winces and gritts his teeth. its almost ten minuets of pure agony before he gives in.)

Sa'vor: they know that strenght comes through disiplin, from spawning or birith they are trained to fight and are trained with tactics. though most of this information is burried within their minds and activates through training.
also they're commanders and leaders are always capable of communicationg through a hive mind like system. they keep each other updated constantly on troop movements and thier numbers.

Tara: but what against mounted foes, you dont have any mounted troops of your own

Sa'vor: i shall soon, you'll see. its a suprise

Tara: Oooohhhh, i love suprises!
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-24-06, 08:54 PM		Norbaz brings a vat of chilli into the mess hall, where there are some redshirts, Kithle, a bunch of the lesser-used……and two beings he does not know yet. One an elf with way too much emphasis on silver, the other your average crow. However, he quickly figures that these have to be the two new people.

Norbaz: Hey, new guys! Up for your chilli initiation?

The redshirts snigger all around.

Norbaz: But first let's hear your names and backstories. After all, we might not get the chance afterwards.

Silver stands.

Silver: I suppose it all starts…

She leaps up on the table and raises her hand dramatically. The crow jumps onto the outstretched appendage and strikes a swashbuckling pose.

From somewhere far away there floats a beat. In penetrates into the hearts of everyone sitting in the mess hall. Redshirts start tapping their toes or humming in a way they've never been able to humm before. They somehow manage to cobble sophisticated instruments from random junk. The music grows slowly, an operatic tune.

Silver: We are not as you are/

Crow: We are from a place so near, yet so-o faaaaaaaaaaar.

Kithle doesn't understand what compels him to sing next. Despite the fact that he is a half-flayer he's picked up some perform skills from his eating habits.

Kithle: I cannot see this inside your heads/
all it says is basic things/
that would not fit the mindless dead/
you just have my mind running round in rings.

(then, normally): Why was I singing? I'm immune to magic.

Norbaz (singing in a nice soprano): This is not magic, my comrade/
it is much worse/
it is like Otto's and Tasha's/
but within the grip of the mighty verse./
You cannot begin to fight/
what can control the very light/
[The lights change like on a stage.]
so sit back and let it guide your voice/
because, in fiction, you really have no choice,/
it is the greatest source of woooooooondeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr…/
that can tear our world asuuuuuuunnnnnndeeerrrrrr…/
[The walls open up as more crew members pour in.]
the Muuuuuuusssssicaaaaaaaaaaal…/
NUUUUUUUMBEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

To be continued…

OOC: What song do you think your character would sing in a medly?
Kaizer_Ryu

04-24-06, 09:19 PM		OOC: Oh. My. God. SilvercatMoonpaw, that is probably one of the more insane things to happen in this thread. I simply cannot picture Kithle singing. I tried, but it's just too wierd. This coming from someone whose character is an evil lesbian power hungry druglord with a plant obsession and an attraction to red-headed Paladins. :D
urial angel of death

04-24-06, 10:15 PM		I could see Volrath singing: very badly, something out of Monty Python. Then again I could also see Ktihle dressed like Elvis and dancing.
rampant

04-24-06, 10:28 PM		Kithle - (in thought) on the plus I can sing now, on the other now i have to kill every redshirt in this room and swear those 3 to silence. The new guys probably gave me the statue so I could probably just ask nicely. Norbaz.... Oh I'll squeal on marish. (telepathy) Kithle to Norbaz I tell you who got the letter in exchange you never speak of this to anyone and help me slaughter these redshirts. Nod one for accept.

Norbaz - -nods-

Kithle - (telepathy) Marish, marish has the letter.



What number are we on now I have ruless i want to post.

oh Urial Kithle now keeps a list on death papers's back you are in the number one lot for that image.
Phantomcrossing

04-24-06, 11:10 PM		Norbaz turns towards the redshirts now putting down thier improvided musical instruments or clearing out thier throats and ect.

Norbaz: Okay everyone, that was a good performance.

The cooky pulls a convieniently nearby lever. A torrent of Chili spills out overhead and floods the areas of the room filled with redshirts...who summarily break out into song about being dissolved by chili and the involved great irony of the situation. Norbaz exits the mess giving a smile and nod to Kilthe and trusting the mess of chili left will be willingly cleaned by a single half elf with a taste for the stuff...but wonders briefly if she'll care that the chili is full of dead redshirts...oh well, they'll all be liquified by the time she arrives on the scene.

Norbaz: Ah, now to business...dear sweet soveirgns I hope I don't suddenly break into song while settling this situation...although, heh heh...I know its breaking on of the rules, but I might need a barganing chip. Hmm...what to do what to do...

Hours later....

Norbaz waits well hidden in the ceiling of a corridor below deck using the skills of an assasin and rouge of greate skill, while a squeaky bird toy with a bells on its tail feathers sits innocently in the middle of the floor. Eventually, Marish walks by and looks down at the toy, not approaching. She looks around the corridor, and having not spotted anyone, expects the floor around the toy. Carefully stepping around it she stands onto the other side while speaking.

Marish: ah, some people never learn. Like I'd fall for a trap that obvious.

Norbaz pulls a string, causing two iron gates to shoot up from the floor sealing off a cube of area. Norbaz drops from the ceiling and makes his presence known.

Norbaz: I think we have something to discuss.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-24-06, 11:31 PM		Terra enters the computer lab and sees Volrath typing furiously.

Terra: What's up?

Volrath: The Brothers Chaps finally came out with Thy Dungeonman 3!

Terra: About time. Are you finally able to get Ye Flask?

Volrath: Yeah! It's right in front of me! I'm going in...

*on screen* As ye reach for Ye FLASK, a flash of light blinds thee. Ye find thyself in yon grassy field. A signpost shows exits at NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, and WEST.

Volrath: :eek: :OMG! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Crystalforged

04-24-06, 11:37 PM		OOC: What song do you think your character would sing in a medly?
Well since you asked SilvercatMoonpaw...

Kanatash has been know to sing on occasion. Unfortunately it is completely unknown what kind of singer he is or what he actually sings. The only individual to ever hear Kanatash sing became completely unresponsive and spent the days immediately following slowly tearing away the flesh surrounding his ears with his bare hand until he had exposed his eardrums. He then punctured his eardrums and removed the three small bones within a person's ears which he proceeded to grind into powder and scatter to the winds. He then spent the next several months slowly scratching a hole in his skull with his fingernails until he had exposed his brain. He then carefully removed the area of his brain that focused on his auditory senses which he proceeded to set on fire before finally falling dead from massive trauma to the brain.

Needless to say no one asked for an encore...
rampant

04-25-06, 12:29 AM		Kanatash has a theme song remember.

"Its the end of the world as we know it. I feel fine." - gah i really should know this one.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-25-06, 03:20 AM		Doog sits moping in his room when he hears a knock on his door.

Doog: What?

The door opens and Terra steps in. Doog is immediately on his feet.

Doog: Hey there, hot stuff. You come by to get a-

Terra: If you finish that sentence, I can and will put more knots into the 'Trouser Titan' than should be physically possible with a single thought.

Doog: :eek:

Terra: That's better. Now, as Kanatash told you, only the telepaths aboard know about your little cover scheme. Which means, unfortunately for you, that Michael is totally oblivious.

Doog: ...what's your point?

Terra: Michael is gunning for Lisa, that much is obvious. I want him out of the picture, at least for now. That's where you come in.

Doog: Why should I help you?

Terra: Because you can't keep living a lie, it's getting rather ridiculous. As well as the fact that I and the other females aboard are tired of you using us as a cover for your insecurities.

Doog: So you're going to help me with this in order to get with Lisa?

Terra: In a manner of speaking. I'll give you a few ideas about how to break it too him, but how it ends up I couldn't care less. You're there to run interference.

Doog: I think this is where I tell you that you're a bastard.

Terra: That'd be Kithle's influence. :D
Crystalforged

04-25-06, 09:02 AM		Kanatash has a theme song remember.

"Its the end of the world as we know it. I feel fine." - gah i really should know this one.
Nah, thats just one of his favorite songs to listen to and it occasionally begins playing spontaneously in background when he's around. If he actually starts to sing himself you should just hope somebody else comes along to preform the mercy killing before too long.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-25-06, 10:29 AM		OOC: Oh. My. God. SilvercatMoonpaw, that is probably one of the more insane things to happen in this thread. I simply cannot picture Kithle singing. I tried, but it's just too wierd. This coming from someone whose character is an evil lesbian power hungry druglord with a plant obsession and an attraction to red-headed Paladins. :D
OOC: That's why my characters exist. Not to create dramatic tension…or plot of any kind for that matter. They're just there for my amusement. :D

IC:
The musical number ends with Feal-thas and all the other half-dragons doing a big riverdance routine.

Sa'vor: You sure that will come in handy?

Igor: Yeth, thir. There ith nothing better for developing agility than danthe. Bethideth, Mithtreth Lolth thwearth on itth thychological effectth.

Sa'vor: It certainly scared me.

Silver and Crow exit the mess before Norbaz dissolves the redshirts. They are followed closely by Kithle.

Kithle: It was a little hard to follow in the singing, but so you in the silver, you used to be Cheese, and you, the crow, you were a thing messing with Sutekh. But you're saying that you're entities who serve a power outside…

Silver: The simplest way to explain—

Crow: —is that we exist only as needed to mess around with your universe.

Silver: But we aren't very powerful. Rather, we tap into greater powers than us.

Kithle: Like that musical number.

Silver: I call them Narrative Elements. Just like it seems unavoidable that Sa'vor gets drawn into yet another weird series of events involving super-freaky creatures, or that Terra reveals that she has yet more tricks up her sleeve—

Kithle: —or that Jarlot is going to do something completely insane and inscrutable.

Crow: Exactly. These powers are easy to tap into, but they don't get you anything worthwhile.

Kithle: Then why do you use them.

Silver grins.

Silver: For fun.

Kithle: *Whose, I wonder.*
***
Meanwhile, in Ketler's lab the artificer is using his autoforge to put some final touches on a delecate helmet. Brain stands beside him.

Brain: Is it finished yet?

Ketler takes off his safety goggles.

Ketler: Here you go. One helmet of ninja/pirate transformation for one date with the new Jaela.

Brain raises the helmet above his head.

Brain: My plan is almost complete. Soon Ninja Jaela shall become……PIRATE JAELA!

Phollie: I still think this is an stupid plan.

Brain bonks him over the head.

Phollie: HA, HA, HA, ZORTCH!
Kaizer_Ryu

04-25-06, 10:54 AM		OOC: I always figured that Ninja Jaela already was a pirate, but the amount of awesomeness that that implied caused everyone to willfully ignore the fact for their own safety. Remember, when there were still something like three left, Kanatash forced the NJ's to realize this and they went catatonic. Perhaps this could be used as a new WMD verses the "super-freaky creatures" we tend to get mixed up with. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-25-06, 11:01 AM		OOc: Oh, I intend this to get as freaky as I can make it.
And I'm going to be copying you Douglas Adams quote.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-25-06, 11:28 AM		OOc: Oh, I intend this to get as freaky as I can make it.
And I'm going to be copying you Douglas Adams quote.

By all means. I love his work. If I put all my favorite quotes of his in my sig, it'd be a page and a half long. :D
urial angel of death

04-25-06, 09:42 PM		OOC: Yeah Douglas Adams has some of the best quotes ever. "To the casual observer humans are the second most inteligent creatures on earth, dolphins being the first. They are in fact third."

Nalfien, Volrath, Blinky, and Kelter are seated around a table, covered in pewter figurine, oddly shaped dice, books, and sheets of paper.
Nalfien: Something has been bugging me. How is Kithle half-human/half-mindflayer?
Volrath : Well you see, when a mommmy human and a daddy mindflayer love eachother very much...
Volrath pulls out an image projector, and turns on a horrific tentalce hentai.
Kelter : Give me that!
Kelter grabs the image projector and turns it off. Kelter then tosses Volrath and Nalfien each a copy of Lords of Madness .
Kelter : Look in there, it explains everything.
Volrath (flipping throught the book) : They changed everything. I mean, beholders don't even get to have sex, anymore.
They all look up, at Blinky. His face is frozen in a look of horror, his jaw residing on the floor. Kelter waves his hand infront of Blinky, and gets no response.
Kelter : I think, you broke him.
Phantomcrossing

04-25-06, 11:39 PM		Norbaz stands opposite of Marish in the caged off cube of the corridor. The tension between them rising as the half giant tries to figure out exactly how to go about this situation.

Norbaz: I believe you have something that belongs to me.

The cat girl looks up at the half giant and cheerfully replies to Norbaz while her hands behind her back slowly unrolling a scroll.

Marish: Really? Are you sure, I find alot of things, but most recently I found something that may have been yours, but was left under someone else's door. It was the door of the person whose name was on it's envelope, soo....I guess its not your's anymore.

She grins happilly having finished preparing her spell and completely putting the half giant off of his guard.

Norbaz: Listen, I just want that letter back so I can destroy it. Damn it, I shouldn't have left it in the first place.

Marish: Awwww, I think its sweet. That a cold hearted assassin is shy about his feelings.

Norbaz: I am not cold hearted, I'm just professional.

Marish: Call it what you like, buuuut I think I'll hold onto the letter for now and give it to Andrea at her liesure.

Norbaz: Like hell!

The half giant removes a sap from his person and ducks left in a feint preparing to catch Marish unaware. However his movements are too slow and the shifter bard unleashes her scroll stored spell, Charm Monster. The magic hits the cooky like a ton of bricks. He drops the sap and looks at Marish and adresses her as one would an old friend.

Norbaz: Hello Marish, I imangine you'd want out of this cage, let me help you.

The cooky forces open the portculus like obstructions surrounding them.

Marish: Now then, I believe we have some business to discuss. I have something you want, and know something you don't want me to know. I think I know how to keep silent, but, and take this down (Norbaz takes out a pad and pen and writes with a smile) I don't know if I should. On second thought, I'll give you a list of things to shop for over the course of the next few days until my spell wears off.

Marish smiles victoriously as she walks down the hallway leaving Norbaz standing there alone, but still in a good mood...
Kaizer_Ryu

04-26-06, 01:00 AM		Terra: (telepathically) Hey, Kithle. Get Kanatash, and maybe Satnak, and meet me at Sa'vor's castle. I have something you all may enjoy.

Kithle: (same) Sounds intriguing.

(later: Terra, Kithle, Kanatash, Sa'vor, Tara, and Satnak are gathered in the courtyard of Sa'vor's castle, the sound of the half-dragons training in the background)

Sa'vor: So, what's this big thing?

Terra: First things first. (looking at Tara) Can she be trusted?

Sa'vor: I believe so. Regardless, she'll find out anyway...

Tara: Damn right.

Terra: (shruggs) As you will. Remember, what I'm about to show you is still in the development stage, but it's close enough to give you an adequate demonstration.

Satnak: Just tell us already. Stop beating around the bush.

Terra: In a moment, I need to preface this with a warning. I cannot stress enough that this is an absolute, last ditch option in combat. Only to be used if it's a choice between this or death.

Kanatash: (excitedly) You're killing me, here! Just show us!

Terra pulls out a bottle filled with a silvery liquid. It seems to glow, but no light is shone on surrounding surfaces.

Terra: This here is something I've been working on since Kithle taunted S/S and got us blown out of the sky. I'd love to call it a stroke of genius, but it's more of a happy accident.

Kithle: I was wondering why you spent so much time in my lab...

Terra: The combination would at first seem to be like drinking liquid death, but the reaction between them has produced something unique. It's not without it's side effects, but I'll get to those later. First, a demonstration.

Tara: Why can't you just tell us?

Terra: Because you wouldn't believe me. Sa'vor, I'd like to inlist your help in this one.

Sa'vor: You don't expect me to drink that, do you?

Terra: No, I just want a sparring partner. (pulls out a piece of chalk) After I drink the potion, I'm going to try and mark you with this. All I want you to do is stop me.

Sa'vor: If it were anyone else, I'd think you were nuts, but, ok.

Terra takes a swig and replaces the bottle in her robe. Almost immediately, the others can sense a great deal of chaos in her aura, then a sudden, immense surge of power from her.

Kithle: What in...?

Terra: Let's begin.

She seems to disappear from view, but Sa'vor can hear her movements. He sees her several times out of the corner of his eye, but she disappears again before he can react.

Sa'vor: (to himself) Such speed. Is it even possible? I can barely keep up with her...

He feels light pressure on his armor, looking down to see a white smudge. Terra reappears before him.

Sa'vor: Impossible! I didn't even see you!

Terra: Now you see why I'm showing you this. In a few more minutes you'll see why I call it a last ditch move. For now, I want you to hit me with your magic.

Sa'vor: You're serious? (Terra nods) Ok, then...

Reluctantly, Sa'vor launches a volley at her. To his amazement, she completely neutralizes it with her own energies. A second, more powerful blast has a similar fate, only this time, she returns fire. Raising his defenses, Sa'vor counters it with no small amount of difficulty. Looking back, Terra is no longer there.

Terra: (from behind) Hey there.

Sa'vor wheels around, completely shocked.

Sa'vor: Ok, ok. I'm quite impressed. What exactly does it do?

Terra: It seems to raise the natural peramiters of the drinker far beyond what they would usually be capable of. For example, you would have flattened me under normal conditions, but because of this, I would have won in real combat.

Kithle: It boosts everything?

Terra: Only to a point. From what I can tell, it seems to work best with those things the drinker is already proficient in. For me, I get the most boost to magical abilities and agility, much less to physical power.

Kanatash: So it has different effects on different people.

Terra: Correct. Once I refine it a bit more, it should be ready. Right now it's far too potent and doesn't last as long as I'd like it too.

Satnak: What's the catch? You seem fine.

Terra: It hasn't run it's course yet. It'll become obvious.

Sa'vor: If it does something like this to you, what could happen if I drank it?

Terra: For a few minutes, you would be not unlike a god...

Just as suddenly as it came, Terra's power plunged. Falling to her knees, she speaks weakly.

Terra: Ugh. Now you see the downside. All that power takes an enormous toll on your body. Had I engaged in full combat, I would have probably passed out the instant it wore off.

Tara: Containing such power in a body unaccustomed to it. It seems the obvious result.

Terra: Indeed. So you see, it is not to be used lightly. Even after I finish with it, it could easily leave you completely vulnerable when it runs it's course.

Kithle: Why make such a thing?

Terra: I like to cover all contigencies, seen and unforseen, as best I can. I couldn't very well let an opportunity like this slide. I don't know if we'll ever have to use it, but it's better to have it just in case.

Kanatash: Seems like a good enough reason.

Terra: I'll get back on it in a bit. I just...need...to-

She passes out and crumples to the floor. Kithle checks her vitals, then has Satnak take her back to her room.
urial angel of death

04-26-06, 07:42 AM		5188) Micheal is not {insert character name here}
5189) When talking to Micheal people don't intentionally avoid saying his name.
5190) Even though Aerith is exceptionally cheerful and Micheal's sister, she is not Imoen.
5191) Volrath does not skin his aprentices and then do a little dance on their skins.
5192) Okay, maybe he does, but that does not make him Xvar.
5193) Kelter is not Jan.
5194) Jan is not sueing Chalky for copy right infringment.
9195) Terra is in no way Jaheira.
9196) Nalfien is not Edwin.
9197) Allen was not one of Bodhi's spawn.
9198) Kanatash was not once an elf.
9199) Kanatash is not trying to steal Micheal's soul.
9200) (in different handwriting) Yet.
9201) Kanatash never imprisoned Lisa as his "consort".
9202) Lisa was never a halfling.
9203) I am revoking everyone's Baldur's Gate rights.
9204) Kanatash was not trained by Kanatash, to summon his nightmares into the real world.
9205) Kanatash does not have a funny, twirly hat.
9206) Volrath does not have the Mirari
9207) (yet again in different handwriting) Yet.
9208) I was not adopted into Volrath's family.
9209) I did not save him during a ritual of passing.
9210) This ship was not originally name Weatherlight.
9211) Volrath did not travel to another planet, and create a religion suspiciopussly like the Silver Flame.
9212) I don't care if he is the son of a god and a mortal.
9213) Volrath will not rise on the third day.
9214)John will not be reincarnated as a fat guy who starts a religion on the same planet.
9215) Neither will :coolcthul
9216) Volrath's prochecy does not sound suspiciously like the timeline in "At the Mountains of Madness".
9217) Aerith will not meet a grisly end in a cut scene at Sa'vor's hand
9218) Crye was not destroyed by a meteor.
9219) Nor was it destroyed by Odin's spear.
9220) I thought I already took your guys' playstation away.
9221) There are no hidden cameras
9222) Norbaz's chili is not made from people.
9223) it is the hide skill not "the art of not being seen".
9224) Marish is not Sonia Belmont
9225) She just has a "thing" for whips.
rampant

04-26-06, 08:46 AM		I've been Quoted yay.

9226. You are not allowed to use 257 more things skippy is not allowed to do in the brelish army as a field guide.
9227. or any other source of inspiration.
9228. Your paying him how much in consulting fees?
9229. Screw this get that guy on board. The brelish will owe us one.

Kithle - Terra Have you considered decreasing the potency to increase the duration.

Terra - That mightt work then we could have different potencies for different situations.'

Kithle - Exactly, also consider some of the really hideously tough crew, muradin, steve, or Satnak, the effect might boost their ability to handle the surge longer.

Terra - OOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOooooooo **** I don't even want to think what a full strength dose would do to Satnak.

Kithle - Well my projections show she would wipe out every creature with a divine rank within a thousand miles. Thats assuming she doesn't move. A punch would be so devastating as to affect gravity, She would literally be able to punch out a moon. With her right arm. The equations on the left are Apocolyptic.

Terra - I'd hate to think what her glare would do *shiver*, no one ever quite recovers from it as is.

Kithle - I coudn't complete the equations there.

Terra - The numbers too big for the ubergenius Kithle.

Kithle - Well that and the foces Invoked by such an event are inherently unpredictable. Most likely it would turn your constituent sub-atomic particles inside out.

Terra - and that would what besides killing someone?

Kithle - I have no Idea.
Crystalforged

04-26-06, 09:12 AM		OOC: Yeah Douglas Adams has some of the best quotes ever. "To the casual observer humans are the second most inteligent creatures on earth, dolphins being the first. They are in fact third."

Nalfien, Volrath, Blinky, and Kelter are seated around a table, covered in pewter figurine, oddly shaped dice, books, and sheets of paper.
Nalfien: Something has been bugging me. How is Kithle half-human/half-mindflayer?
Volrath : Well you see, when a mommmy human and a daddy mindflayer love eachother very much...
Volrath pulls out an image projector, and turns on a horrific tentalce hentai.
Kelter : Give me that!
Kelter grabs the image projector and turns it off. Kelter then tosses Volrath and Nalfien each a copy of Lords of Madness .
Kelter : Look in there, it explains everything.
Volrath (flipping throught the book) : They changed everything. I mean, beholders don't even get to have sex, anymore.
They all look up, at Blinky. His face is frozen in a look of horror, his jaw residing on the floor. Kelter waves his hand infront of Blinky, and gets no response.
Kelter : I think, you broke him.
Um, I just wanted to check, by "Blinky" you ment Squinty the nearsighted gauth, right?
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-26-06, 09:21 AM		OOC: Wanring, fairly mature content. But then, this is the Forgotten Freedom. If you've gotten this far, chances are I'm wasting my time.
IC:
Getting away from the madness of the crew below, Jarlot takes a break on deck. There he sees Silver (OOC: might as well make that her name, IC: ) setting up a sun chair. The oddest thing about it is that it's about 10 ft long and 5ft wide. She's got a chest filled with ice and stoppered containers to one side, another unopened chest on the other. The liquid inside the containers looks a redshirt after he's been drugged by Terra for two straight weeks, tortured by Kantash for five days by listening to him sing, read one of Devon's short poems…by Kantash…singing it, eviscerated mercefully by Sa'vor, introduced to enlightenment by John, put in the chilli by Norbaz, glared at by Satnak for being in her chilli, then completely restored by Aerith who could have no idea what that entire process does to sanity at the sub-atomic level. And Jarlot couldn't even see the bottles that well.

Then Silver starts loosening her clothes. Jarlot, being male, is torn between the civalrous action of at least looking away, and the hormonal action of voyerism. That lasts two seconds. She doesn't really take anything off, just loosens them some, letting her jacket hang open. Since she's facing away from him he can't see much. She reaches for a thick chain around her neck. She slowly pulls apart the clasp. There is a sound like chainmail rings anfastening all at once. Silver grunts twice.

Then the universe rips apart for a split second.

Giant feathered snake heads erupt from every point on Silver's body, shredding her clothes. They are definitely couatyl heads but having flame instead of scales. They appear to be in a ring, all facing forwards. Several wings grow from her back, shaped like a butterfly's but with feathers. The whole mess flops down on the sun chair, clearly still not big enough for it.

A snake head (having replaced Silver's arm) drags a container out of the ice chest. Jarlot can see now that it contains a very old elf. One head rips off the top and a third head swallows the elf.

A flock of crows then flies in, seemingly out of nowhere. A few are swallowing a last bit of dead flesh. (Jarlot thought he knew something about what dead peole looked like during the Last War. Once he met Andrea he learned he was wrong.) They arrange themselves along several of the snakes' necks. The snake heads start hacking and hissing like a cat trying to dislodge a hairball. The crows throw up a ractious cawing, then as several lumps start up the snakes' necks the crows stab their beaks in. Finally the whole spectacle results in the regurgitation of at least three objects into the center of the ring of snake heads.

A snake head opens the other chest, and crows fly back and forth carrying various items of clothing made out of bird feathers. Finally four elf maidens step off the snake ring.

Silver's Voice: Would you like to join me, captain? It's such a lovely day for regenerating people with the flesh of the dead.

Jarlot doesn't hesitate. He turns back to the hatch he came out of. Then, as if he has an über's psychic sense, he hears eveyrthing that is being said on the FF at that moment:

Volrath : Well you see, when a mommmy human and a daddy mindflayer love each other very much...

Norbaz: Is there anything else I can get you, Marish, dear friend?

Redshirt: Ahh! The chilli is attacking me!

Brain: Come, Phollie, we must ponder a way to get this helmet on Ninja Jaela.

Vrin: So, Lucky…er…what's it like being a woman?

Tifa: Oh JarLOT?

Jarlot: Yeah, sure.

Silver' Voice (to the elves): Be dears and bring the captain up a chair.

Elves: Yes, goddess.
Charles Phipps

04-26-06, 09:33 AM		In honor of Advent Children's release yesterday...

5229. A five does not look like a nine.
5230. Michael is not Sephiroth.
5231. He wishes.
5232. It is wrong to attempt to steal Aerith's White Dragonshard.
5233. It will not summon Holy.
5234. Ninja Jaela is not to be called Yuffie.
5235. Even if she bears a remarkable resemblance.
5236. Dragonshards should not be called "Materia"
5237. House Cannith will not be called Shin-ra.
5238. House Cannith is not draining all the life energy of Eberron for its own use....
5239. ...save in the general way most supercorporations do.
5240. Ketler should not be called "Cid"
5241. Kithle is not Vincent Valentine.
5242. Aerith is not....oh hell, even I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
5243. Ditto with Tifa.
5244. We will not be out of "Phoenix Downs" if Aerith ever dies....
5245. Doog is not Barlett....
5246. Mostly because he'd never let Ketler make him a robot arm.
5247. We do not have cellphones, motorbikes, and power plants...despite how cool they are.
5248. The planet does not want to kill us all.
5249. Err....despite what Terra says.
5250. Despite the fact that yes, Khyber is PART of the planet and trying to kill us all.
5251. Jenova is not Erandis D'Vol.
5252. Even if Terra an Andrea do try to merge her with a fungus to cover the planet....

Jarlot: Well gentlemen I've now developed a new plan for world domination....

Crew: Groan.

Jarlot: Well not quite actually. Do to my troubles in courting Aerith I've decided to split myself into two people with one of them containing all the qualities that would make her love me and....the rest.

Ketler: You know, I really should stop trying to help you with these plots.

Michael: How will this achieve world domination?

Jarlot: I've been taking lessons from the Brain.

1. Split myself into two people.
2. ???
3. World Domination.

Kithle: Oh hell....

Jarlot: In any case, I expect that this plan will result in all of you dying...in which case....I don't care.

*turns around to enter a large eldritch machine*

Aerith: You know, I wonder if he ever considered flowers and candy as a way of courting.

*Jarlot is kicked in the head by Tifa*

Tifa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please my Lord! Don't sully your perfection by removing any qualities that would make you more likeable to that pink haired *****.

*grabs his legs in a death grip*

Aerith: You know, I don't believe she likes me.

Jarlot: Ketler, crowbar....

*Ketler hands him one as Tifa is slowly pried off of him*

Tifa: NO! MY LORD! I WORSHIP YOU! I SHALL KILLLL FOR YOU! Do you want me to my player and thus end my existence? I SHALL!

*Tifa pops off and then grabs at his legs again*

*Jarlot drags himself into the machine as it starts whirling*

*Its then a huge spikey haired giant sword wielding guy walks out*

Lot: Duhhhh....

Aerith: :inlove:

Terra: Aerith likes stupid bishies?

Michael: Wow *sarcasm* Didn't see THAT coming.

*machine moans the wails of the damned*
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-26-06, 09:55 AM		However, the second person to walk out is very…………freaky.

It is a combination of Jarlot as a Bill Gates-like nerd and Tifa.
(OOC: Tifa was still holding on to him when they entered the machine. IC: )

Tifa Voice: Yes! Now I shall be a part of you always!

Jar and Lot: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! You can't! Each piece was supposed to be perfect in its own right………Why are my two pieces talking at the same time?

Kantash: And they're moving at the same time, too.

Jar and Lot: IGOR!

Igor (appearing behind Jar/Lot): You called, mathter?

Jar/Lot: You've served under the most insane people in history. Tell me, what went wrong here?

Igor: Mathter, you are Jarlot. You are not tome thimple perthon, not jutht the captain of the Forgotten Freedom. You have mayhem and chaoth in your very being. A trivial mathine thuthh ath thith could never truely theparate you. It would require the power of the thun, pluth the addithion of thpethially prepared dead flethh.

Jar/Lot: But where in Khyber would a process like that…

Then he remembers Silver and the regurgitation of the elves.

Jar/Lot: If it'll get rid of Tifa, too, I'll go through anything.
Phantomcrossing

04-26-06, 12:18 PM		Norbaz walks out on deck with a hang glider and proceeds to get ready to cast off. Klaz notices and walks over.

Klaz: Oi mate. Headin' off fer another job then? Who ya gonna hit, some wicked tough sheila? Maybe a head of state? Crickey, are you going after a king?

Norbaz: Oh, no. Actually I'm heading out to help Marish with some shopping. She gave me a list and asked me to help out, with my own money. I'll see everyone in Sharn in a few days.

Klaz: Wait..what?

Norbaz: And don't worry about food, I stockpiled an extra, extra amount of chili for the next few meals along with some extensive fish buffet dishes. It was requested the Chili be mild, so I hope everyone enjoys the change of pace.

Klaz: Oi, uh, who requested the mild chili?

Norbaz: Oh, Marish.

Klaz: Of course.

Norbaz: Well, I'll be back later, have a nice day.

The half giant leaps off the ship with the hang glider and floats off into the distance.

Klaz: Crickery...I do think he was charmed...

Meanwhile, below decks.

Satnak enters the storage room of the kitchen, with intent upon having some of the fresh batch of chili that she heard Norbaz making earlier. Having the spoon is nice and all, but sometimes, you just want somthing not magically prepared. She cracks open one of the barrel lids and lifts it up to take a long gulp. Suddenly she stops and spits what was in her mouth onto the floor, a look of utter horror etched across her features.

Satnak: It...it...it..no...can't be....its....(tears well up in her eyes as she dons an angry expression) NORMAL CHILI!!!!!!!!!!! WHO DO I ZORCH FOR THIS!!???
Ryuu_Tenshi

04-26-06, 01:10 PM		In honor of Advent Children's release yesterday...
5236. Dragonshards should not be called "Materia"
5237. House Cannith will not be called Shin-ra.
5238. House Cannith is not draining all the life energy of Eberron for its own use....
5239. ...save in the general way most supercorporations do.


Wait, they're not?
The following was inspired by our warforged ACTUALLY ASKING IF HE COULD HAVE A ROBOTIC CHOCOBO AS A MOUNT. I kid you not...

5253. Dinosaurs are not chocobos.
5254. You cannot inbreed dinosaurs to get green, blue, and black dinosaurs that can cross mountains, rivers, and both, repsectivly.
5255. And you CERTINALY can't breed those to get the notorious Gold Dinosaur, which will get you the ultimate Eberron Dragonshard.
5256. You may not carry six fullblades.
5257. Even if you have spikey hair.
5258. And are epic.
5259. Bahamut is not a legitimite 9th level summon.
5260. Argonessen is not the land of the ancients.
5261. Crater isn't there, dammit!
5262. Merrix d'Cannith does not wear a white trechcoat or have a homonculos named DarkNation.
5263. Nor was he actualy in the Mourning, surviving by means of PLOT DEVICE.
5264. His name is not Rufus Shinra, dammit!
5265. The only reason for this is that his flunkies are not as cool as the Turks.
5266. Cyre is not Midgar.
5267. Even if it was the base of a now-evil corporation and has been blasted by a magical apocalypse.
5268. DAMMIT, KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TAKES FIVE TURNS TO SUMMON.
5269. Ok, fine. the DM summons Meteor and you all die. :D
Chrys

04-26-06, 04:10 PM		5259. Bahamut is not a legitimite 9th level summon.

according to races of Dragon he is ;)
rampant

04-26-06, 04:26 PM		Satnak - THIS WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED.

The world trembles as Satnak prepares her most dangerous assortment of soulmelds, including the Three-fold mask and totem avatar.

Satnak - WHERE IS NORBAZ? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS TRAVESTY?
Kaizer_Ryu

04-26-06, 05:02 PM		I've been Quoted yay.

Terra - OOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOooooooo **** I don't even want to think what a full strength dose would do to Satnak.

Kithle - Well my projections show she would wipe out every creature with a divine rank within a thousand miles. Thats assuming she doesn't move. A punch would be so devastating as to affect gravity, She would literally be able to punch out a moon. With her right arm. The equations on the left are Apocolyptic.

Two things. One, the first quote was awesome, so I thought I'd share with the unenlightened across the boards. Two, the above quote had me ROTFL. The best part is I can see it happening.
Crystalforged

04-26-06, 05:22 PM		Kanatash: (from several decks below) Well it sounds like Satnak's on the warpath.

Kithle: And what's new about that?

Kanatash: Oh, nothing really. You know sometimes I wonder if Kelter's helmet really worked. She's supposed to some kind of polar opposite of me but she seems to take after me quite a bit at times.

Kithle: Well it wouldn't be the first time Kelter's screwed something up, but my money says it was the arm that did it. Absolute power corrupting and all that. If she really did cloan wrong and failed to meet the preresquites of the arm the it would have malfunctioned.

Kanatash: Malfunctioned? How?

Kithle: Hard to say, depending on how wrong it went the effects could range from it ceasing to function to imploding and taking everything in a five mile radius with it.

Kanatash: Assuming she origionally met them, what would happen if she stopped meeting the preresquisites for the arm to function?

Kithle: (looking worried) Uh, good question. I suppose it could cause a malfunction if she became truely evil and corrupt.

Kanatash: Turning evil and corrupt as in wreaking bloody revenge on the cooky for failing to provide her with her favorite food, threating the entire crew to get what she wants, developing a raging addiction to chille, and zorching things more or less indiscriminately?

Kithle: ... We should probably look into this.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-26-06, 11:49 PM		OOC: Continuing to honor FFVII:AC (which I just finished watching a little while ago), I present to you the following...

*Warning! Possible Minor Spoilers!*

IC:

Terra sits moping in the mess hall, Tifa mocking her mercilessly.

Tifa: HA! Who's game is better? MINE! I got to be in state of the art CG animation and you didn't! Ha-ha!!

Terra: SHUT UP!

Tifa: NEVER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Terra: You were barely in it! The only battle you really fought in you got your a** handed to you, and Cloud paid more attention to Aeris than you!

Tifa: *gasp* That's a lie! You take that back!

Aerith: I got to heal everyone! YAY ME!!!

Terra: (to Aerith) QUIET, YOU! (back to Tifa) You got knocked out how many times? Playing the whole damsel in destress card a little often, aren't we?

Tifa: OH, THAT DOES IT!!!

The two begin trashing the place, with the rest of the crew a safe distance away.

Allen: Shouldn't we stop them?

Ketler: (eating popcorn) Are you insane?! The only way this could get better is if Ninja Jaela joined in dressed a Yuffie!

Michael: :plotting: I wonder if it'd be possible to get them into the wrestling ring filled with jello up on deck...

Kithle: (whacks him with Death Paper) Bad Michael! No plotting!

Jarlot: (currently filming) That's it guys, I'm gonna have to charge you for this one.

All other present crew: Awwwwww.....

OOC: Honestly, I didn't think I could see Cloud getting more bada** until I watched AC. The dual-wielding Cloud awesomeness is going to make my head explode. Tifa and Aeris, full CG. Need I say more? :drool: :inlove:
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-27-06, 08:33 AM		Brain: Pathetic. Just pathetic. It's clearly obvious that I am meant to rule the world. The way flesh-based lifeforms get distracted so easily.

Phollie: I thought you said we were trying to make Ninja Jaela into Pirate Jaela.

Brain: But you see, that's just the first part of my brilliant plan:

1. Prove that ninja/pirate conversion works.
2. Send conversion headgear to every pirate in the world.
3. Overrun the world with lawful ninjas.
4. Once the ninjas realize that my warforged nature and superior intelligence make me the perfect candidate to help them keep their "honor" intact, they will make me their leader.
5. Shift the focus of Eberron from swashbuckling adventures and pulp action to an intrigue-laced Oriental ninja-assasin game.
6. Complete and total domination of the world.

Phollie: Wow, that's a lot more planning than when you were Dr. Evil.

Kithle: I didn't include the step where I get rid of you.

Brain: Oh, hello fellow crewmember. What causes you to engage in conversation with such inferrior beings such as ourselves?

Kithle: Can the act. I've got a Half-Illithid Empire to found, and I don't want to deal with a bunch of stupid honor-obssesed ninjas. They never see the big picture, always s focused on retaking honor that they don't realize that then someone from that family has to get the honor back, etc.

Brain just stands still for a moment.

Brain: Run!

Kithle: Oh no you don't.

Kithle unleashes a blast of grease, expertly tripping Brain. The helmet slips from his grasp, bouncing into the air and coming directly down on top of Phollie, who scoots off before anyone can see if there are effects. Kithle places one foot on Brain.

Brain: Ha, you can't eat my brain! I don't have one!!

Kithle: Oh, I'm not going to eat your brain. I'm going to clean it out.

He puts his hands together, then draws them apart to reveal a mindblade in the shape of a thick piece of string.

Kithle: This is something Silver came up with. She calls it a mental keelhauling.

Brain: What—AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! NO, NOT THE RULES ON ATTACK OF OPPORTUNITY! AAAAAAAAAAAAA! THE MANY WAYS TO BREAK POLYMORHPH!! INSANITY! NO, NOT—

Kithle: Yes, TRUENAME MAGIC!

Brain: AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! *clunk*

Kithle: So, how do you feel, Stupid?

Stupid: Duh…

Kithle: I would now like to inform the crew that stupid warforged jokes are back on.

5270: We are not characters in some "game" called Dungeons and Dragons.
5271: It is wrong to tell the warforged that wounds won't bleed out because that's not how HP work.
5272: It is wrong to tell the warforged that limbs won't come off because there aren't any rules for severing limbs.
5273: It is wrong to tell the warforged that he has a specific amounnt of wealth that he should absolutely have because he is of a certain level.
5274: Because then he might asked to be paid.
5275: It is wrong to tell the warforged that as the captain of this ship I am also the DM, and thus killing me will stop all the madness this ship has to go through.
5276: I doubt destroying the whole world could stop it now.
5277: We are now instituting the practice of mental keelhauling. There will be a practical demonstration on Doog this evening in the mess hall.
5278: I am not Cloud. Don't you remember the flashback?! Cloud wouldn't let me come along!
5279: Just because I now have a personal servant:
I am not Batman.
5280 (chalked in below): I will visit you soon with the Helm of Ninja/Pirate Conversion.—signed, The Folly

OOC: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Kemmotar_veon

04-27-06, 06:23 PM		Name: Bruce d'Canith
Monk/ninja/Artificer/Justicar/inquisitive (I know it might be a bit imposible and I'm not sure of the levels required yet... but I don't think that matters in this ship)
Lawful neutral

one of the rich sons of the Canith family and brother of Ketler... he was kicked out of his family because of his dark past... he is now a justice seeker... he will make the law prevails over everyone and everything... he has a lot of gadgets, mos t of them created by himself... he is now in the forgotten fredom to put all that ship to justice... doesn't matter how long will it take.
also to keep his identity covered he wears a bat-like suit :P and he calls himself man-bat :P


5279: Just because I now have a personal servant: I am not batman

5281: Bruce d'canith may be batman...
5282: (Write underneath) It's Man-bat!
Kaizer_Ryu

04-27-06, 06:50 PM		Trying Kithle's suggestion, Terra continues work on diluting the strength of her potion, tentatively named the 'Potion of Badassification" (which doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but I'm working on it). :D

Terra: Grrr. Stabilizing this is harder than I thought...

The first two attemts had turned into goo, and rather foul smelling goo at that. So far, this one seemed to be going better. Until, of course, it started smoking.

Terra: Uh-oh...

KABOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

(elsewhere)

Pholly: I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!

Kanatash: Since you're right here, that may actually be true.

(back in Terra's lab)

Terra: (covered in black soot) *hack*Well*cough*that didn't go as planned.

She had managed to styme most of the explosion with a quick ball of Psionic energy around the beaker, but it still produced quite a lot of smoke.

Terra: Much as I hate to ask for help, perhaps Kithle can be of some assistance with this one...
rampant

04-27-06, 07:45 PM		Kithle - Well the first step is to find Folly, and get that helmet off him.

Terra - why?

Kithle - I have found that certain chemicals in their systems are very good at stabalizing chemical reactions and this is what keeps their own aura of alchemical mayhem from turning their blood into acid.

Terra - why go after the one with the helmet?

Kithle - one because i want to destroy the helmet, two because ive been torturing pholly since I got here, I'm just being fair to phollie/folly.

Terra - Wow, thats either just or just plain wrong.
urial angel of death

04-27-06, 07:56 PM		Terra, now back in her lab cleaning up, hears a knock at her door. She gets up and answers it. Outside is Volrath, shivering violently.
Volrath : Gimme, gimme, gimme! I need my fix. I know you have some. (teeth chattering together.)
Terra : What do you say?
Volrath : Now!... er please?
Terra : Good boy, here you go.
She hands him an ornate silver flask.
Volrath : Mystery flask!
He quickly downs the entire drink. This causes his pupils to grow to fill up his entire eyes and bleed out of them.
Volrath (running finger upa nd down lips) : Brbrbrbrbrbrrbrbrbrbrbrbrbbrb.
Volrath disappears in a puff of smoke.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-27-06, 08:26 PM		OOC: You try to be creative, and someon beats you to it.

IC: Just after the explosion of the beaker:

Crow: I think I can help there.

Crow has somehow appeared on Terra's shoulder during the cloud of smoke without her even noticing.

Terra: And what can you offer?

Crow: A piece of advice.

Terra (standing): And why is that any different than going and seeing Kithle?

Crow: You are trying to create power without balance. That always ends in disaster.

Terra: That's why I'm trying to dilute it. And get off my shoulder.

Crow flies over to land next to the remains of the beaker.

Crow: But you don't necessarily need to dilute it. If you changed the drawback you could eliminate the vulnerability at the end in exchange for…say…being too stupid to use the powers.

Terra: I'm going to assume that wasn't a serious suggestion. So you're saying that instead of diluting it I just change what is does? No thanks. I'm perfectly content with the positive effects, just not the negative ones.

Crow: But powers of red fall easily to powers of blue.

Terra: What? Is this some of that "outside of existance" stuff that Kithle was telling me about.

Crow: Sorry, I expressed it in terms not used in this existance. You see, power has always fallen to subtlety. Great armies fall because of bad intelligence. The dark wizard has a weakness that he's too confident to bother to fix. The ones with power that survive have realized they need a backup plan. The more one relies on power the more one forgets that thought beats all.

Terra: Sa'vor—

Crow: —is constantly visited by various people from his past who try and destroy him. Plus he's created an army of half-dragons. He knows that his own power won't always be enough to save him.

Terra: Kithle—

Crow: —doesn't actually do much, now does he? He's not rushing into this Illithid Empire of his. He's taken the time to think how he wants it to run. He still remembers to think.

Terra: Kantash—

Crow: —is completely insane. His hobby is driving other people insane. He's going to try to destory the world, yes, but he's not in a hurry. He's more interested in being insane.

Terra thinks. She tries to think of how all the powerful people in the world have ended up. Of course, most not-powerful people end up dead, but that's often preferable to what the übers go through. Was there anyone else that typified success of pure power?

Terra: What about…me?

Crow: You of all should know that in creating a network, in even creating that potion, that the power you have is miniscule compared to your mind.

Terra: But you can't always rely on the mind. Smart people have limits. And when they reach those limits it's always the powerful that crush them.

Crow: Well…you existers say that knowledge is power. Perhaps everything looses out in the end.

Crow flies up off the table, flapping his wings but not moving in the air. A whole in the fabric of space opens up behind him.

Crow: What will you do with your power? If you have a mind you know what to do with it. If you're just powerful without a mind, what's the point?

Terra (just as Crow turns to fly into the hole): Wait. What about you and Silver? I hear you two can do some pretty powerful things.

Crow: But we are random. Our powers have no purpose. I mean just yesterday we arranged for Aurala and Jaela to meet in costume at a tantirc party.

Terra: Tantric party? In costume? You have a dirty mind.

Crow: No, just a random one. You see, if we don't do anything sensible, we can be as powerful as we want. Think about it.

With that Crow disappeared into the hole, which emitted a slip of paper saying "Please dispposit soul if you wish for nothing to come out again."
Kaizer_Ryu

04-27-06, 09:10 PM		Kithle: He does have a point, despite how weirdly he said it.

Terra: I know, it just bothers me. I'm fully aware of the limits of power. That's why I prefer to use my own only when necessary. But I'm also aware of the limits of my intellect. Strength without purpose is meaningless, but purpose without strength is equally meaningless.

Kithle: So that's why you didn't try toning it down before? You're trying to find a middle ground?

Terra: Yeah. Falling back on power is an alluring trap, so I wanted it to be a last option. I'm doing it now because I thought you had a reason for it.

Kithle: Oh, I do. I was hoping that you might be able to mitigate the extreme rebound in exchange for a smaller boost. Something that wouldn't leave us so vulnerable during the cleanup.

Terra: This one is proving to be a challenge. Usually when I work, I can see what I want and roughly how to get there. It's like how Sa'vor can tell an opponents strength at a glance, I can normally tell what the end result will be before I even start.

Kithle: Chemists block?

Terra: I don't know. Ever since Sutekh attacked, I just haven't felt right.

Kithle: I thought you blocked him out.

Terra: No, he just couldn't get anything at the time. Had I met him face to face, things might have gotten ugly.

Kithle: I think I know what you're talking about. I found a walled off area in your mind when I scanned you.

Terra: Even I don't know what's behind it. I guess...in a way I was hoping he could knock it down.

Kithle: Well, my advice is not to concern yourself with it. Since you have no access to it, it doesn't really have any bearing on who you are or what you've become. Concentrate on the here and now. If you are meant to know it, you'll find out when the time comes.

Terra: It's always odd to hear you talk like that.

Kithle: I can't be a bastard all the time. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-27-06, 10:15 PM		OOC: Phollie is the one who is now a ninja.
IC:
A silent shadow move thorugh the Forgotten Freedom. However, this is Jingo. Folly creates so much noise that even the normally hard-of-hearing little old dwarf lady notices. Phollie wasn't much of a pirate. Folly isn't much of a ninja.

Folly is in one of the least-used corridor of the FF…though with all the extra-dimensional space on this thing there are a lot of spare corridors. This one appears to be lined with elegant ebany, which combines with the lack of lighting to make Folly crash into everything.

Finally, after crashing into one wall too many, Folly decides he's taken enough abuse.

Folly: You have sullied my honor. Prepare to face death.

Folly draws his short sword. However, this happens to be a rather sharp kitchen knife, which cuts through the rope holding his pants up.

Folly: Die………ken!

Folly trips over his pants, falling face-first instead of knife-first into what turns out to be a door. The knife flies out of his hands. The door has a pivot instead of hinges, so it swings out behind Folly. He tries to pick himself up, pulling up his pants and retieing the rope, the knife meanwhile slicing the seat open.

Folly (not able to see a thing): So, you fight like a dishonorable coward. You are not worthy of my blade. I turn my back on you, son of a she-dog.

The door swings back to hit Folly in the face.

Folly: What? You wish to press me? You insult me again? Then honor demands that I kill even an unworthy foe such as yourself.

Folly throws a shuriken.

Which is expertly caught by a feminine hand.

Folly stares. In front of him is an imense hot tub, filled with pink bubbles. At the far end, only visible from her shoulders up, is a beautiful female half-elf with tan skin and reddish-brown hair. She examines the shuriken for a moment, then discards it with one hand.

Female: Come here[, she says without any sudeuction in her voice, beckoning with a finger.]

Folly obeys out of no source he can understand. He walk over to her on top the pink bubbles, not even stepping hestitantly.

Female: Give me the helmet.

Folly pulls the helmet out of the pocket of holding he'd sown in. He hands it to her.

She examines it, but not very enthusiastically.

Female: Pitiful thing.

Then she opens her mouth wide. An aura flows from the helmet into her mouth with the sound of a great inbreath. The female's mouth shuts with a snap as the helmet dissolves.

Female: That will be all. You may go.

Folly turns, only to bumb straight into Kithle.

Kithle: How did you get here?

Folly: But—I—

He looks around. He's somewhere in the more well-traveled sections of the ship. The dark walls, the hot tub, the pink bubbles, and the female half-elf are gone.

Kithle (picking Folly up): Well, come on. I need the helmet and your blood. I think I'll take out a little of your blood first to make you talk.

Folly: S—s—s—

Kithle: Spit it out!

Folly: She ate it!

Kithle: She ate the helmet? Talk sense, your mind isn't.

Folly: She eats magic!! Norbaz's chilli spoons aren't safe!!!

Kithle: I think Satnak would kill anyone who tried that.

5281: There is not a version of me aboard this ship who is male, thinks he's the greatest hero who ever lives, worships Dol Dorn, drinks, and tries to pretend he isn't chaotic evil.
5281 (the real one): The crew is forbidden from wrightin in fake rules for fun.
(penciled in below): Ah, captain, none of us did that.

OOC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!—THE VOICE
Kaizer_Ryu

04-28-06, 12:41 AM		Kithle returns with Phollie/Folly's blood.

Kithle: What's up with Volrath? He's acting weird. Er...weirder than normal. I just saw him in four places at once doing four separate stupid things.

Terra: (holds up the flask she gave Volrath) Oh, I finally found something that works on him. It more or less turns him into a harmless, jibbering idiot for about a day. I won't tell him what it is, so he just calls it Mystery Flask.

Kithle: Ooookay...

Kithle hands over the vial of blood. Terra puts a little on her finger and tastes it.

Kithle: Uh...what are you doing?

Terra: If it's a natural substance, I can tell what's in it by taste. It's a bit of a difficult skill to master, but very handy.

Kithle: Uh-huh...

Terra thinks for a moment, then her eyes light up.

Terra: That's it!

She begins working furiously, distilling the blood and adding a few compounds to it.

Kithle: What's this, all of a sudden?

Terra: (still working) I was thinking about what you said, and the spark just kind of came back to me. Once I knew what I was working with, I could see what I had to do. I should be done with this in a few hours.

Kithle: Glad to hear it. I'm gonna go see about getting Folly turned back into Phollie.

Terra: (looking up for a moment) Hey, how come, even though they don't sound any different, we all know if were talking about Pholly, Phollie, or Folly?

Kithle: Plot device, my dear. Plot device.
rampant

04-28-06, 01:21 AM		Kithle - I want a raise! I do most of the work around here. I'm involved in every single plot. How many times have I or my efforts saved your sorry hides? How many times have i covered for everyone when they were sick or otherwise more useless than normal? Despite this the Cat-girl gets paid more than I do.

Igor - Cathain theriousthly do thomething. The ithilith is gething a weird looth in hith eyes, all thwelve mather.

Jarlot - But he wants a raise, I can't give people raises or fair pay. Thats lawful.

Slip - Maybe so, at the same time you do realize that Kithle is easily capable of wiping out most of the crew by this point. Thats assuming he doesn't use allies. Satnak, Sa'vor, and maybe Silver or Raven could fight him on almost equal terms, but all four of them are less intelligent and firmly on his side. Lucky, Andrea, Nalfien and the rest of the mages can't even hurt him thanks to his immunity, and aside from Kanatash you have no psions in his league. Also Kithle has proven that he is more than capable of putting the ghost in his place. Finally Aerith and her angel friends might help you, but seriously do you think those fragile minded zealots stand a chance against such a concentration of Mortal power as Kithle. He also significantly more dangerous than before he had Sa'vor's brain for dinner. He's been under a lot of stress recently and his recent setback with sutehk has him grumpy. A raise and a paid vacation would probably be best. Unless you want him to lead a mutiny, or worse yet start an election.

Jarlot - OH SWEET KYBHER NO!!!


*****

Marish is heading down the corridor to the mess hall looking foward to the next few days of fish and harmless chili, When she is confronted by a massive glowing beast with three heads and viscious gnashing jaws in each beastial face.

Satnak - Marish I would have though you were smarter than this.

Marish - I have no ...ulp

Satnak opens her eyes.
Marish's fur is wilting.

Marish - ... idea what your talking about.

Satnak - A lot of people get messed with on this ship. A lot of mind bugging goes on. Its only natural to want to join in the fun, but one must remember the rules. You broke a big one. Wanna know which?

Marish - Maam plz don't hurt me.

Satnak - You messed with the cooky. Normally not a big deal, but you see the chili is awful. I can't let that go unpunished. Allen got used as moster bait, Terra well Ok I let her off because the look on Micheals face was priceless. You on the other hand I don't find amusing. You have nothing to offer me at this point, your spell will run its course without you. You are mine now you little furball.

Marish is frozen by the look of absolute hate in Satnak's eyes.
Charles Phipps

04-28-06, 05:18 AM		Andrea: *sigh* Marish is in danger...must go protect familiar. Maybe give her a bath.

Marish: NOOOO!

*drags her out by her tail*
Crystalforged

04-28-06, 09:36 AM		Kithle - I want a raise! I do most of the work around here. I'm involved in every single plot. How many times have I or my efforts saved your sorry hides? How many times have i covered for everyone when they were sick or otherwise more useless than normal? Despite this the Cat-girl gets paid more than I do.

Igor - Cathain theriousthly do thomething. The ithilith is gething a weird looth in hith eyes, all thwelve mather.

Jarlot - But he wants a raise, I can't give people raises or fair pay. Thats lawful.

Slip - Maybe so, at the same time you do realize that Kithle is easily capable of wiping out most of the crew by this point. Thats assuming he doesn't use allies. Satnak, Sa'vor, and maybe Silver or Raven could fight him on almost equal terms, but all four of them are less intelligent and firmly on his side. Lucky, Andrea, Nalfien and the rest of the mages can't even hurt him thanks to his immunity, and aside from Kanatash you have no psions in his league. Also Kithle has proven that he is more than capable of putting the ghost in his place. Finally Aerith and her angel friends might help you, but seriously do you think those fragile minded zealots stand a chance against such a concentration of Mortal power as Kithle. He also significantly more dangerous than before he had Sa'vor's brain for dinner. He's been under a lot of stress recently and his recent setback with sutehk has him grumpy. A raise and a paid vacation would probably be best. Unless you want him to lead a mutiny, or worse yet start an election.

Jarlot - OH SWEET KYBHER NO!!!
Kanatash: Kithle, I'm normally on your side but in this case I just have to say, SUCK IT UP B****! :rant: I don't get paid PERIOD. Jarlot thinks I don't need money just because I'm incorperal. He didn't even give me my own room so I had to create an extradimensional pocket myself. Plus I've even restrainded myself from messing with his mind or done anything to threaten the destrution of reality in months.

Slip: What about the incident with your duplicate?

Kanatash: That was Kelter's fault, remember? Thats not what's important anyways. What's important is I have the power to destroy the minds of everyone on this ship and reality itself, not to mention I've been here for a long long time and I don't get paid squat. I don't think you can complain about your pay sucking.

Slip: (to Jarlot) I'm thinking you might want to give them both a raise and a vacation.

Jarlot: Both! Do you know how much that could cost me!

Slip: Less than not if you don't. I've never seen Kanatash ****ed off before, let alone THIS ****ed off. If you don't do something he's probably going to go nuclear and I'd really rather not have him do it on my ship. Besides the ACLU (Action Cthulhoid Liberation Union) is coming around next week and if they see how you're treating those two then the **** is going to hit the fan.

Jarlot: OH SWEET KYBHER NO!!!
Kaizer_Ryu

04-28-06, 10:18 AM		Terra: I may have a suggestion to ease the hit you'd be taking...

Jarlot: This should be good...

Terra: As you know, I'm already obscenely rich. I only wanted a paycheck as part of my cover. Such a pittance is really not even worth it to me.

Jarlot: You want me to stop paying you, and pay them instead? Isn't that a little altruistic for someone evil?

Terra: Oh, not at all. It's a self-preservation thing. I'd rather not have Kanatash go on a rampage, and a ****ed off Kithle isn't any more appealing.

Jarlot: Oh, good. At least you're still making sence.
Chrys

04-28-06, 12:31 PM		**Thanks in part to Kingdom hearts 2, For those of you who have not played it the girls from X-2 show up as chibi helper/annoyers **

Lisa: So…why did you want to talk to me…I have never had any thought about Jar…

Tifa: OH, it has nothing to do with that, I know you don’t like Jarlot…I mean your all ready in a Love Q…

Lisa: Love Q?

Tifa: Its like a love Triangle with a little tail…that being Dooj or what ever his name is. Any way you are the only woman I trust enough to talk to… I refuse to talk to that damn solar loving flower selling man stealing B*tch, I don’t like the whole Undead thingy so the wizards out, And that damn cat is next on my list after the B*tch and Tera and I don’t get long because my game is so much better then hers…

Tera: NO IT ISN’T

Tifa: YES IT IS! AND STOP SPYING ON US WE ARE NOT DOING ANYTING … even though that would **** her off to no end…

Lisa: What you…like woman to…I mean your married…isn’t that cheating?

Tifa: Nah Jarlot is the only MAN I will ever love…women are fair game though. I mean how else I qualified for the Nymph’s kiss feat. Ahh that was a lovely night inn the plane of the fey… I wonder If can get any of that wine her on the ship… and I wonder what happen to Eiko the Nymph, she had this funny little horn one her head you know.

*Meanwhile in the Eiko house in fey land…*

Three little Pixie like kids a zooming around the house and causing general Havoc and mayhem, until the crash in to there mother Eiko the Nymph.

Eiko: Yuna, Rikku, Paine COME HERE NOW! Where you three trying breaking in to The Queen vaults again!

Yuna, Rikku, Paine all nod in unison

Eiko: What have I told you about doing that…?

Paine: don’t kill any body…
Rikku: Don’t get caught…
Yuna: and do not try to do it in the first place.

Eiko: *sigh * what am I going to do with you… you break things, hurt random fey, and try to get me in trouble with the queen…Am at my Wits end!

Crash!

When Eiko looks up she see her three kid floating over a broken vase… looking all innocent.

Eiko: THAT IS IT! I’m sending you to live with your other mother!

Paine: What other mother?
Rikku: Come on Paine you remember when mommy explained where we came from
Yuna: That is right she said that She and our other Mommy Tifa when to the special grove, drank the magic wine, and did the happy dance… and Nine months later we showed up the prefect blending of the two!

Eiko: and I have trying to figure out what was wrong with her… in order to get you three.

*Back in Lisa’s Room *

Tifa: and that’s why I’m trying to breed those giant chickens…

Lisa: But why Demonic one…

Tifa: THAT was Tera’s idea…she said it make them smart… and/or give the Chili and extra kick.

Then a shimmering portal opens up and Yuna, Rikku, Paine with a note pined on there dresses…

Yuna, Rikku, Paine: MOMMY! *then they all hug/tackle Tifa *

Lisa: WHAT?

Tifa: Can’t … breathe… being crushed... with love…

Yuna: Pixie Bard [dancing] 5/ Healer 1/ Druid 1
Rikku: Pixie Spell-thief 1/ Artificer 1 / Kinetics 5
Paine: Barbarian 3/ Hex-blade 1/ Swashbuckler 3

* They are all Chaotic annoying [Yuna sides a bit towards good, Paine sides a bit towards evil]
*They are all ways together and pretty speak either together or finish each others sentences.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-28-06, 01:15 PM		( Sa'vor stands on his blacony gazing down with pride on his minons below, Slip appears behind him and scares the living daylight out of him)

Sa'vor: ARGH!

Slip: usualy you notice im here

Sa'vor: its the fact that i've been a bit busy recently and that you havent visited me in a long while

Slip: i've been busy keeping this ship from falling apart. your all lucky it doesnt fall apart while i sleep

Sa'vor: yes.. the multiple dimensional pockets are causing serious strain on its existence and being hit by the laser didnt help. i thought it would be a bit longer until this started happening

Slip: what? whats happening?

Sa'vor: the ships reality is unravelling, its very hull is so permeated with magic it cant take the strain. not to mention the huge magical radiation we create. its a wonder we dont get charged with polluting the world with magic

Slip: we've been charged with everyother crime. and any way, what does magical radiation do?

Sa'vor: well, in low to medium levels it increases the amount of people whom can wield magic within the area, sometimes theres some wierd affects like portals opening to hell dimensions and people born with resistance to magic and the odd mutant. but in such a large amounts it could cause much bad.

Slip: how much bad?
(Tara appears from nowhere)
Tara: LOTS of bad

Sa'vor: we could be looking at a extra-dimensional cross over of apocloyptic proportions or even the gods being able to influence the world. demi gods being born, strife, gods walking eberron. Kyber manifesting, Xoriat or Dal Qour becoming countermendious again and things such as this

Tara:so when did you expect this to happen before the laser?

Sa'vor: oh... well, in approximatly two years

Slip: and now?

Sa'vor: ah.. two months.

Slip: so what will happen to MY ship?

Tara: its whole form will unravel as its become so completly filled with magic, reality will be torn asunder, a huge protal will open in its stead and these extra-demensional pockets will be destroyed. does this happen often?

Sa'vor: every other week, but never in the proportions that we're about to experience.

Slip: you know, you should really get out of the dimension once in a while

Sa'vor: i've got far too much to do at the momebt to worry about visiting people! I've got things to build, magic to prepare. Dra'vos to worry about, and i've got a legion to train!

Slip: well, i thought you could do with catching up with recent news.

Sa'vor: you dont seem suprised with Tara being here?

Slip: oh, Kithle filled me in

Sa'vor: i thought as much
( Begins to mutter under his breath and write out mabranic runes on a sheet of paper while standing up, he leans over his desk to get as close as possible check for mistakes)
Tara: there doesnt seem much that Kithle doesnt know

Sa'vor: my liege knows everything. he hears everything. i've started to expect him to know whats going on. there was a time where i tried to hide things from him. is still hide somethings... things that even he cant know.. but i trust him with most information. besides, i have trust his motives. the only reason im in a hurry is because i need to be.

Tara: why?

Sa'vor: i think i might not have much of an unlife left once Dra'vos gets here, one of us will die. one of us, and i feel the shrill call of death approaching. i embrace the coming darkness and peace ... but im afraid of what comes after....

Slip: your afraid to die?

Sa'vor: you havnt seen what i've seen... you havnt made enemies that i've made. there are a lot of things i've done that im not proud of ... there are a lot of people whom are dead that wait for me in the after life. and they arnt to happy with me, i really dont whant to end up with them for eternity. THEY WILL NOT TAKE ME!
( Smashes a hand on the obsidian desk, causing all the alchemical and magical equipment to shake)

Slip: well, just so you know. Kithles stressed, Kantash is really really ****ed off, and they're both demanding a holiday and a pay rise.

Sa'vor: hell, i dont even get paid. not that i need to be.

Slip: what about a holiday, you could use one.

Sa'vor: i've FAR too much to do.. maybe once i've faced Dra'vos and stopped the universe unravelling i'll take a week off. though i think Kantash and Kithle need a couple of weeks off, i could cover for them.

Slip: i doubt it, the state your in at the moment you can bearly keep up with what your doing now. you havnt even fed or slept!

Tara: i'll keep an eye on the ship while their gone. someones got to do it. and Sa'vors not the most patient of individuals.

Slip:wheres Naz'roth at the moment?

Tara: i dont know, i miss him. he was quite cute.

Sa'vor: ( in between the furrius scribbelings of a ink pen with Infinite ink, Sa'vor currently is using a maximised extended empowered Haste spell on himself) Oh, he whent to Shavarath, said he was going to lead the devils for a while. oh and he said Tara that he misses you greatly and hopes to see you soon.

Slip: Awwwww, i didnt know Arch Deamons could feel that way.

Sa'vor: niether did i, and he spent quite a while in my head. but i suppose they have to, other wise there wouldnt be any deamons left.
( gathers up his notes and teleports to another section of the castle, Feal-thas enteres from the stair case. still dressed in his armour. he know stand over Seven feet, his eyes blaze with magical might)

Feal-Thas: wheres father off to?

Tara: i think he whent to get some peace

Feal-Thas: im worried about him Tara, he been getting increasingly morbid and talks a lot less. he isnt even eating anymore. he barely sleeps, he's becoming far more detached from reality.

Slip: he's worried and afraid. i dont think he knows how to handle it

Tara: he does, its somthing else he's dealing with, Dread. he doesnt wish to face Dra'vos, though he has to. he dreads it. he knows what Dra'vos is like, and if im correct he'll be far more than a match for him. Sa'vor will have to use all his cunning and skill to beat him.

Slip: what could be eating at him so?

Tara: that i belive is a different matter.

Feal-Thas: what?

Tara: even i cant tell, and i know him better than any of you. recently i discovered that his mind is like a void, its like theres nothing there. i think his abilities are evolving .

Feal-Thas: evolving? i didnt know he had abilities

Tara: dont forget, he was born in a high magical area, he was born with powers and skills far beyond anything we can imagin. somtimes even i have trouble guessing what he'll be able to do next. i only know a few of his abnormal skills, these are non magical as far as i can tell, i know that he can gauge peoples power and thier strengths and weakensses, i also know he can when he concentrates create an aura of pure fear and dread. another is his skill at always knowing where and when he is.

Feal-Thas: When?

Tara: he has a mastery of time, he can move through small areas of it. he can also predict certain events.

Slip: that AND being an uber, pretty scarry prospect. so whats wrong?

Tara: i think his contact with that magical artifact has allowed him to see further into the future, i think he's seen somthing that scares him beyond anything else.

Slip: so what do we do?

Tara: we wait for him to tell us. its the only thing we can do. his mind shieldings far more powerful than ever before.
urial angel of death

04-28-06, 02:12 PM		From three different halls Cthulhu, Jarlot, and Volrath are walking toward deck. They each see Tifa being tackled by little fey screaming "mommy". The same thought runs through each ones' mind "Oh ****!" They each, in perfect unison jump off different sides of the ship.

OOC: Those who get this are twisted horrible people. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-28-06, 02:40 PM		Sa'vor is in a storage wing of the castle where he's set up a hammock between two stacks of weapons crates. The only one who can get here is Igor, and that's because………he's Igor.

Sa'vor: Could they be right? Do I need a vacation?

Crow: Probably not a good idea right now.

Sa'vor turns his head to find Crow sitting on his left shoulder.

Sa'vor: You couldn't have gotten in here.

Crow: I can go where I like. It's one of the perks of not having a purpose.

Sa'vor: Must be nice, not having any responsabilities. Now enemies coming to get you, no empire to help create, no need to feed.

Crow: I don't experience emotions the way you existers do. I can't feel pain or pleasure in physical form, just in my quasi-mental state. I don't exist.

Sa'vor: Then you won't have a problem when the FF unravels.

Crow: Is that what's going to happen? Well, then, I guess I don't need to tell you about the portals that are opening up.

Sa'vor: What portals?

Silver: Haven't you noticed all the weird new redshirts?

Sa'vor is surprised to find Silver balancing perfectly on the other end of the hammock.

Sa'vor: That's some power. I put up the wards on this area myself. They're a variation on the ones used to keep rajahs imprisioned.

Silver: Which are set up by the Narrative Element to fail. So they can be breached.

Crow: But seriously, there are two lion-like humanoids somewhere on this ship that call themselves "litorians".

Silver: They have no idea what druids or rogues are. Keep talking about "unfettered" and "mageblades".

Crow: We believe there is a portal somewhere on this ship that opens onto their world. A world where elves, dwarves, gnomes, paladins, clerics, and many other things you take for granted don't exist.

Sa'vor: What's this got to do with me?

Silver: Nothing. It's the stating of the fact that concerns us, not the result.

And suddenly they are gone.

OOC: If you don't know what "litorian", "unfettered", and "mageblade" mean, consider how I feel when people makes jokes about Final Fantasy.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-28-06, 03:04 PM		There is a knock on the door of Jarlot's office.

Jarlot: What is it? I've still got to decide whether to give Kithle and Kantash a vacation, so this better be important.

Igor opens the door.

Igor: Where do you want the huge bagth of gold, mathter?

Jarlot freezes, a look of pure puzzlement on his face

Jarlot: Huge bags of gold?

Igor: From the advertithmentth.

Jarlot: Advertising………Chalky didn't take money to paint slogans on the side of the Forgotten Freedom again, did he?

Igor: No, mathter. Thethe would be from the adth run during "Thurvivor: Forgotten Freedom".

Jarlot: They want to film that here? But the contestants would last five minutes!

Igor: Oh, no, mathter. It'th about the crew. I think you'll agree that the quethion of whether or not they thurvive is a thecond by thecond queththion. It'th already running. Garnering top ratingth, too.

Jarlot: When did this happen? As the captain I should be informed of any opportunities to make money off exploiting my crew.

Igor: I'll have to check, mathter. I do know that Houthe Thivith approached uth with thome hagth eyeth gemth and thaid they'd pay a lot of money if we jutht put them around.

Jarlot: So companies are paying money to run ads while the masses watch us bicker and kill random redshirts?

Igor: I would gueth tho, mathter. Ah, yeth, now I remember. It'th Thquithhy and Tabitha who are running thith little thceme.

Jarlot: But people actually like watching us fight off nameless horrors, plot world domination, kill people, b*tch at each other, and just generally act insane?

Igor: Ath oppothed to what they normally do, mathter? Live in a world filled with the thpecter of ditheathe, monthterth, mind-control, etthetera?

Jarlot: But they know that Kithle's plotting to take over the world!

Igor: I doubt they are thmart enough to think it'th real. Trutht me, thethe are the thame people who deliberately approach the obviouthly monthter-filled cathtle.

Jarlot: That's a good point. So how much are we being paid?

Igor steps out. He tries to come back in, but the sack he's carrying is too large.

Igor: I apologize, mathter. I thall go and get Roothevelt to widen the door.

After Igor leaves Jarlot opens the bag. Gold comes pouring out onto the floor. Giddy, Jarlot rolls and wallows in it, laughing.

Jarlot: Rich! Rich!

Kantash: That's very fortunate.

Kithle: You can pay us now.

Jarlot: What?

Kithle: What, you thought I was going to let people watch me take over the world without a cut?
urial angel of death

04-28-06, 03:21 PM		OOC: I know I've heard those words before. Which RPG is it from. Also not all of the more recent ones have been about Final Fantasy. My latest batch of rules was about Baldur's Gate 2.

IC: Messhal in the Forgotten Freedom. All is as it should be. Chalky's hunting Squishy. Micheal is leering at Lisa. Lisa is hitting Micheal. In short the usual.
Volrath, Terra, and Muridin are eating at their usual table. Muridin is, as usual guzzling his decanter of endless ale. Volrath is eating what he calls "white pork with white pork sauce". Terra is having, what appears to be, a simple salad.
Volrath : Terra, when you visited Sharn, how was my "business" doing?
Terra : Stop calling it that. It's a cult and everyone knows it. Hell even the Sharn watch knows.
Volrath : Alright, it's a cult, but you didn['t answer my question. Howis it doing what, what are they up to.
Terra : Well, I didn't check personally , but my network says that it's still there, thriving actually. Why do you ask? Shouldn't you know the whereabouts of your own cult?
Volrath : They don't listen to me anymore. They're getting too fanatical, not even trying to cover up their kidnappings anymore. I think they're trying to summon my father's Dark Man avatar.
Terra : There are plenty of worse ones they could summon. I'm not saying that this isn't a problem, just that it will be relatively easy to contain. Besides we also have the small problem of reality being ripped asunder.
Volrath : They probably won't even be able to pull it off. I just didn't think I could have lost control so completely.
Terra : You have been gone for a long time.
Volrath : Yeah... I just got to think about this for awhile.
Muridin puts down his ale, apparently having heard nothing of the previous conversation.
Muridin : Volrath, where you get "white pork sauce".
Volrath : (face brightening up) Micheal :devil:
Muridin content with this answer goes back to drinking.
Terra : No way! How did you pull that off!
Volrath : (pulls out knife) Lots of painkiller and a quick hand.
Terra : (shudders) Eww... I almost feel sorry for him.
Volrath : With all that armor on, he won't even know until he looks.
Micheals walks into the privy.
Volrath : 5,4,3,2,1...
A high pitched feminine scream erupts, from the privy.
Chrys

04-28-06, 04:49 PM		Occ: I think they are from Arcane evloved or unearthed... at lest I know the cat poeple are

Up next Rikku,Yuna and Painie's late night talkshow and Motherly bonding
Charles Phipps

04-28-06, 06:04 PM		VH1'S BEHIND THE MAGIC

*A bare midriffed girl with a microphone and utter vapid look to her face is in front of the camera*

Tony Tomay: Hi! I'm Tony Tomay and today we're going to be chronicling the most infamous ship in Eberron history! The ship so happy with its plundering it puts the jolly in jolly roger in the Forgotten Freedom! But how did it get this way! Watch our week long special to find out!

*Jarlot is meanwhile holding a shotgun while wearing a scarf over his face before a :behold:*

:behold:: We're just stopping to refuel! Who the hell robs a Spelljammer!?

Jarlot: I don't care what your CRL is! Cough up the cash or I ruin your racial purity with the most painful eye poke of all time.

Tony Tomay: We're going to chronicle the Forgotten Freedom's many exploits from its early years as a cargo holder to the starting careers of its crew until their mega success as the planet's number one bad guys!

Lisa: Ummm....I point out I'm still a hero.

Aerith: They're all just misunderstood! I mean sure Terra's a drug dealing eco-terrorist but she loves animals and is really cute!

Tony Tomay: What kind of personality conflicts are onboard the ship? Does the competing plots to take over the world mean they'll never succeed? What IS in the chili and how do the monarchs feel about them! This after our next commercial break!

Are you getting enough Dragon in your diet? Eat at Dragonmeat Den! Kill your own and Kids eat free!

Jarlot: Oh...hell.

***

*Andrea sits on a podium while smoking in a ladylike fashion, some hints of sharon stone while crossing her legs under her miniskirt robes*

Andrea: Yeah, I was with Jarlot from the beginning. It was harder in those days to get some attention. They didn't think the world was ready for a hot and sexy Black Mage....it was years before Lulu you know....lousy **** who stole my bit.

Tony Tomay: Rumors linking you to evil wizards across the game system from Magus to Garland to even Kefka have surfaced.

Andrea: Please, Kefka wishes he had me. *puts out cigarette, moves legs to the side* But yes, my big break was in Final Fantasy 8 but I was furious when they cut my name.

*images flash of Rinoa Heartilly beating up Andrea the Sorceress at the end of the game*

Tony Tomay: What was it like working with Squall?

Andrea: VERY rewarding.

***

*Jarlot wearing glasses in his Captain's office where a HD-TV is behind him*

Jarlot: Yeah I had a bit part in FF8 where I was revealed to be the real father of all those spikey haired guys in the games. It was to be a whole Darth Vader moment but I've got to say do I LOOK like I could be?

Tony Tomay: Aren't you in your forti....

Jarlot: I TAKE REGULAR POTIONS OF LONGEVIETY!

Tony Tomay: You've had some career burps in your time haven't you?

Jarlot: I admit there have been a few....

*Images flash of Jarlot slapping Tidus to 'be a man' on the set of FFX*

Jarlot: But I point out that it was richly deserved.

Tony Tomay: Can you explain your plans for world domination?

Jarlot: Cheat my crew of every cent they have, loot corpses and chests, and eventually buy Eberron.

*its then the doors to the room burst open as every male of the FF series bursts in*

Cloud: You woman stealing B*****!

*they start beating Jarlot tremendously*

Sephiroth: My mommy will get you for this!

*Everyone pauses and starts beating up Sephiroth*

Tony Tomay: We'll be right back after this commercial break!

Dragons...natures most beautiful creature....and NOW AVAILABLE TO EAT! Come down to DRAGONMEAT DEN!
urial angel of death

04-28-06, 09:07 PM		Kelter : (waving his hands wildly) Oow, oow, over here!
Tony Tomay : *sigh* Alright, what is your story.
Kelter : You see I was also with Jarlot from the beginning. I was one of the original four. Jarlot, Doog (or Dooj can't remember), Andrea, and me the most greed and selfish group of adventurers ever. We got Lisa, Micheal, and Jingo all in one drunken party. (Lisa comes over with hammer) That is not to say that Lisa would participate in such activity. She was in fact breaking up the party. (Lisa leaves) I attempted to keep the peace between Lisa and Micheal. (Image of Kelter standing between Micheal and Lisa, both with weapons at the ready.) It usually however didn't work out. (Image of a mangled Kelter lying beside an equally mangled Micheal.)
Tony Tomay : So you're both perverted and stupid?
Kelter : In my defence, I was attempting to get several exalted feats and the pacifist presige class.
Tony Tomay : You are far to vile to get any exalted feats and artificer/pacifist is a horrible build.
Kelter : Fine so I am stupid.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-28-06, 09:36 PM		Tony Tomay: You've had some career burps in your time haven't you?

Jarlot: I admit there have been a few....

*Images flash of Jarlot slapping Tidus to 'be a man' on the set of FFX*

Jarlot: But I point out that it was richly deserved.

Absolutely deserved. Whiny little wuss...

Sephiroth: My mommy will get you for this!

*Everyone pauses and starts beating up Sephiroth*

ROTFL!

5282: Any arguments over whether FFVI or FFVII is a better game that break out into fights shall result in a mental keelhauling.

Terra & Tifa: Awwwww....

5283: Or whether Kefka or Sephiroth was a better BBEG.
5284: Ketler is not Cid
5285: ANY of them
5286: Terra is not Half-Esper
5287: Regardless of what she says
Kaizer_Ryu

04-28-06, 10:00 PM		Tony Tomay: Here we are with Miss Terra Branford, star of Final Fantasy VI.

Terra: Thanks for having me.

Tony Tomay: I hear you've made quite a few changes since your days spent saving the world.

Terra: Yeah. Fame only pays the bills so long. Of course, I was working in the days before 3D graphics.

Tony Tomay: What of rumors about you and Celes?

Terra: Totally true. She didn't really like me at first, but boy is she ever good in the sack.

Tony Tomay: How do you feel about the current furvor over the release of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children?

Terra: Don't even get me started. My game had a deeper storyline, better bad guy, who I might add, actually succeeded in wrecking the world, and a better magic system.

Tifa: (off camera) DREAM ON, B****!!!!

Terra: SHUT UP!!! (back to Tony) What did I get? Jack.
urial angel of death

04-28-06, 10:10 PM		Volrath : I would just like to point out that Terra would have worked in 3D, and FF7 would have been a direct squeal to FF6. In the end though everything got canceled after Locke killed himself, over his lose of Celes. I(dropping head in sadness) was going to be the BBEG. (runs off camera crying).
Tony Tomay : Terra is this true.
Terra : Only one shoot was ever filmed! It was a fricken golem fight, low level monster. We hadn't even started BBEG considerations.
Charles Phipps

04-28-06, 10:30 PM		Do you like Spicy? Do you like Hot? Then eat Dragon! Available only at Dragonmeat Den!

*Tony Tomay is wearing a bikini beside a pool where Doog and Michael are in the pool, Doog wearing swimfins*

Tony Tomay: Welcome back. I'm here with some more of the wonderful characters here at the Forgotten Freedom inside the ship's country club and spa.

Doog: How the Hell did the Captain hide this gorram thing without us ever suspecting it!?

Michael: Damn Jarlot's Jiggy Pad spell. You know Doog, you're supposed to wear Swim trunks in the pool.

Doog: Oh bah, next you'll say I have to get out of the water to urinate.

Michael: *floats away from Doog* Ewwwwwwwww.

Tony Tomay: Now we're here with 3 time Henchman of the Year and winner of the Random Monster award Doog Thrask and a Antipaladinus Brother! Michael!

Michael: I point out that I have no desire to have my career coast on my family' successes.

*a black and white family picture is shown of Darth Vader, Skeletor, Garland, Lo Pan, Ganondorf Dragmire, Magus, Revolver Ocelot, Pinhead, Freddy Krueger, Jason, the Master, Mordred, Kane, Dracula, Rufus Shin-ra, and a tiny image Michael nestled within*

Doog: Dude, you're Darth Vader's BROTHER?

Michael: He pretends he was emaculently concieved.

Tony Tomay: Can you tell us how you got your career started Doog? You're famous Hollywood over for playing henchmen roles.

Doog: Well I started at the bottom and worked my way up. Orc in the Lord of the Rings cartoon voice work to actually being one of the teaming hordes of evil. You know those Imps in FF1?

*image switches to Doog wearing a Smurf like hat and pointy shoes with a buckle, he's cursing up a storm as he's forced to join the masses of similiarly dressed half-orcs*

Doog: Yeah, lost most of my family to those pictures. Those damn heroes just can't work with squibs can they?

Tony Tomay: And any rumors about you and Lisa?

Michael: Of course, we're deeply...

Doog: He hasn't scored yet.

Michael: I'm waiting for the moment to be special okay?

Doog: Bah and in the meantime the heavy moaning and shaking from Terra's room fills the air.

Tony Tomay: So what about the relationship between you and Cloud....

Doog: Uhhh....

Tony Tomay: There was a big contraversy about it.

Michael: You knew cloud? I bet you got all the chicks....

Doog: Ummmmm....

*image flashes to a hotel room where a camera goes in as Doog and Cloud burst from under the sheets in their underwear and start cursing at the camera*

Doog: ooooooo

Michael: :OMG!
turalisj

04-28-06, 10:38 PM		#5288: No, Merrix D'Cannith does not look like santa claus, nor is the co-creator the lord of blades.
#5289: For that matter, the lord of blades never looked like einstien.
#5290: You may not attach a cannon on to the warforge's arm to call him megaman.
#5291: Nor are rockman, cutman, blues, gutsman, tomahawkman, bombman, airman, or any other robot master ever made in the megaman series an acceptable name.
#5292: Making a soulknife kalashtar and calling him a jedi will have you sent to Satnak's room.
#5293: When she is in a bad mood.
Charles Phipps

04-28-06, 10:47 PM		*On the sun deck where Aerith is wearing her own bikini while under the shade and wearing glasses with a drink, there of course is a flower basket beside her and a mint-drink...probably healing potion*

*Marish is wagging her tail in the sun with her own sunglasses, not wearing much at all but...fuzzy for censors*

Tony Tomay: Now we have a special treat for you in famous star of Final Fantasy VII Aerith Gainsborough!

Aerith: Hiiiiiiiii

*A rainbow appears behind her with her voice*

Tony Tomay: So reports of your death are exaggerated?

Aerith: Oh certainly, I don't know why so many fans thought I was dead when the ending was clearly based on the idea of my being ressurected and rejoining with Cloud.

Tony Tomay: So what do you think happened?

Aerith: *twitch* Oh I don't want to talk bad about anyone.

Tony Tomay: Oh come on! Don't hide your true feelings.

Aerith: No no, I'm sure there's a perfectly...*twitch* good explanation for a number of production questions.

Tony Tomay: Such as?

Aerith: Well the fact the Director was having sex with an upcoming Angelina Jolie copying kickboxer whose name shall go unmentioned that *twitch* was written into the last minute *twitch* before suggesting a death scene for me *twitch* and then losing the footage of my tearful reunion with Cloud. She also stuffs her bra.

Tifa: *gets onto the screen* That is a gawd damned lie!

Aerith: Yeah right ****-chan.

Tifa: You b***!

*Aerith throws her drink into Tifa's face and goes clawing for it*

Tony Tomay: Wow, I never knew Aerith had it in her.

Marish: There's only a few touchy subjects with Aerith....the whole death thing is one of them. Also, Kingdom Hearts was supposed to be a trilogy was going to star her. Disney and Final Fantasy, what do you THINK its a vehicle for? Of course, to work for said company you've got to be a real **** at heart.

*The Captain walks on screen*

Jarlot: I point out that rumors that Aerith having my baby broke up my marriage to Tifa are completely untrue.

Marish: Oh please, the moment you found out Tifa would do anything for her career, you dumped her ass. Then it bottomed out and she came crawling back.

Jarlot: Hey, don't talk about her like that!

*Aerith limit breaks are cheerfully cute even as Terra wails into her behind Jarlot/Marish*

Marish: The question is...where is this Tabloid child NOOOWWW?

Jarlot: I also point out that I was the guy who came up with the Gunsword.

Ketler: HEY! DON'T STEAL FROM ME NOW!

Marish: *distracting from the two suddenly arguing* I'm hoping for a part in Final Fantasy XII. I'm disappointed they decided to go with Rabbit Girls. I think frankly some tradition would have helped.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-29-06, 12:43 AM		Terra: What's with all this limit break crap?! You're perfectly normal up till X-1 damage, but one more HP gone and you go all super sayian?! In my game, we only had desperation moves and we liked it!

Tifa: Jealous? *starts glowing* FINAL HEAVEN!!!

Aerith: *also glowing* GREAT GOSPEL!!!

Tifa's attack glances off and hits the pool, sending Michael and Doog sailing.

Michael & Doog: Why me?!

Terra: Oh, you two think you're so special with your flashy moves. MORPH!! *begins glowing brightly*

Tifa: I forgot she could do that...

Terra: You see this? You see the glowing? Yeah. Not a lot of people can do this.

Aerith: It's so pretty!

Terra: Oh, you want some of the glowing? I'm totally gonna rip out your soul and chew on your spirit.

Tifa: How 'bout I just plain KICK YO A**!
Charles Phipps

04-29-06, 12:59 AM		Sound of dimensional barriers ripping
rampant

04-29-06, 01:04 AM		Tony Tomay - Here we have the most powerful member of the crew the Legendary dreadknaught herself, the unstoppable sage of destruction, SATNAK THE DEVOURER OF GODS.

Satnak - Where is the Cooky, I'm tired of the everlunds recipe. I need Chili.

Tony Tomay - Ms. Devourer we'd like a few words....

Satnak - YOU

Marish - ulp

Satnak dashes straight for the hapless shifter and witha flick of her right hand sends the catgirl straight into the pool. Sans skin.

Marish - AAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH MEDIC.

Tony TOmay - lets see that in slow mo. Right here you can see Satnak unleashing a flamesphere upon Marish without even breaking stride or interrupting her toss. Oh heres mickey the resident healer.

Mickey - out of the way, - leaps into the pool and nearly chokes marish on a dark lauger of regeneration.-

Satnak - Any one who gets between me and the chili will suffer a far worse fate next time. Where is that spoon?

Tony Tomay - Satnak maam, plz a moment of your time AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE!!!

Tony is now holding on for dear life at the top of the Christmas Tree/Mast
Charles Phipps

04-29-06, 01:10 AM		*as the dimensional barriers slowly unfurl*

*Jarlot, Terra, Tifa, Aerith, Ketler, Michael, Lisa, and even Doog stop cold*

"You...Hurt....the...Cat."

*All of them descend on Santak*

*Meanwhile Slip wraps up Marish in industrial strength bandages*

OOC: Hehehe, Cats...you either love them or hate them.
Crystalforged

04-29-06, 01:17 AM		Tony Tomay and a lone cameraman are moving nervously through an unused portion of the lower decks.

Cameraman: Dude, are you sure he's down here?

Tony Tomay: Of course not idiot! All the crew could tell us was this would be the best place to look for him and if he didn't want to be found it would be practically impossible. Do you have any bright ideas on how to track some freak who can pass through walls and teleport basically at will!?

Cameraman: Like, chill out dude. I'm just getting tired of lugging around this camera for noth...

He is suddenly cut off as malevolent laughter suddenly breaks out behind them. Both of them freeze in place and the hair stands up on the back of their necks.

Kanatash: You were looking for me.

Tony Tomay: Uh, yes. Yes we were.

Kanatash: That was a statement, not a question.

Tony Tomay: Ah, yes. Well I'm...

Kanatash: Tony Tomay. You're here to interview me for some show. Everything I need to know I have already taken from your mind. Plus a few "extra" tidbits, like that little tryst you had with the airship piolet.

Cameraman: Whoa dude! How'd you, like, do that man?

Kanatash: I'd shut up now hippy boy. I'm in a particularly tolerant mood right now but that could change "reeeeeaaaal" easy.

Tony Tomay: I'm sorry to interupt, but why don't we just complete this interview and then we get out of your way.

Kanatash: I already know what your questions are going to be but I suppose you feel the need to ask them anyway so feel free. (takes a seat in mid air)

Tony Tomay: Well then... Tell us about your past to start with.

Kanatash: Well in the begining I was a supremely gifted nomad seeking a way to strike a blow directly to Dal Quor. Back then I was practically a paladin but that changed rather quickly. I attempted to shift myself Dal Quor but things went horribly wrong and I ended up in Xoriat instead. Needless to say I spent the next 5000 years as a plaything of the Daelkyr and they drove me completely and irevocably mad.

Tony Tomay: Well, how about the rumor...

Kanatash: ...That I plan to destroy reality. Oh yes, most certainly.

Tony Tomay: (looking nervous) Is that so, but, why, don't they, wouldn't...

Kanatash: Why, because I want to hear the sound that the basic fabric of reality makes when if finally snaps. You mortals have no appreciation for such a sensation, to us spawn of Xoriat your plane of existance is like a fine wine. Something to be savored. As for the reason the rest of the crew doesn't oppose me is I don't plan to destroy reality NOW. I want to give your reality another couple million years to "mature." By that point all the crew members and in truth, more or less everyone else alive today will be long dead so they don't really care.

Tony Tomay: Well that's sort of an improvement I suppose.

Kanatash: Lisa said the same thing when she heard.

Tony Tomay: I expect she did. Now what do you think of Kithle's supposed Illithid empire, I would think your plans would conflict.

Kanatash: Not as much as you'd think. I'm the shipboard representative of the massive collaboration of Daelkyr lords who rule in Xoriat. They actually want to see this empire created and I'm more than happy to help Kithle in his plans. I passes the time really. Kithle understands that even if this empire thing works, all empires come to an end and I don't plan to destroy reality until well after that end comes.

Tony Tomay: I suppose that makes sense. What about these experiments of yours we've heard inklings of?

Kanatash: Aaaaaaaahhh, yes. In truth they too are just a way to pass the time but I do enjoy them "so" much. It's a hobby really, the horrific twisting of forms into something altogether impossible. Even better is breaking of their minds and the beautiful, beautiful sound it makes when their mind cracks.

Tony Tomay: That's really creepy.

Kanatash: I try.

From the room next door inarticulate screaming can suddenly be heard.

Kanatash: Ah, there's one of my "patients" now. Excuse me I need to attend to this. (floats through the wall)

Tony Tomay: (looking relieved) I think that concludes our interview.

Kanatash: (poking his head out of the wall with a malevolent smile) Say, how would you like to join me here. I'm sure you'd find it educational.

Cameraman: RUN DUDE!

Kanatash: Don't think I've forgotten about you hippie boy! You're going to be first!

There is a gurgling sound as the camera hits the floor and Tony Tomay can be seen fleeing in terror. Out of frame an unidentified voice calls out, "Not the lemony freshness! Anything but the lemony freshness!" as the picture slowly fades to black. The picture turns completely black and all that can be heard is Kanatash's insane laughter until that too fades out but before it does Kanatash speaks, "In parting, remember, I'm coming for you. You know who you are. It is inevitable. I will be in deepest shadows, the blackest night, the darkest ally. Waiting. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
Kaizer_Ryu

04-29-06, 01:20 AM		Sound of dimensional barriers ripping

Since reality snapping probably sounds like a duck, maybe...this sounds like a Chocobo? Or maybe a dying Giraffe. What do you think?
Charles Phipps

04-29-06, 01:29 AM		Since reality snapping probably sounds like a duck, maybe...this sounds like a Chocobo? Or maybe a dying Giraffe. What do you think?

Chocobo sqwak of DOOM.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-29-06, 01:43 AM		Chocobo sqwak of DOOM.

Giant Demonic Chocobo: WAAAAARRK!!!!!

Terra: Translation: "Damn right!"

OOC: Here's some rules for any MST3K fans (please tell me I'm not the only one :bigeyes: ):

5294: Crow's full name is not Crow T. Robot
5295: Silver is not a polymorphed Gypsy
5296: There is no Tom Servo aboard
5297: Niether Ketler or Allen are Joel Robinson
5298: Or Dr. Clayton Forester
5299: Igor is not TV's Frank
5300: Or Torgo
5301: Kanatash is not Brain Guy
5302: Even if he can make your head explode with a thought
5303: Slip is not Magic Voice
5304: There is no one named Slip aboard!
5305: I am not planning to force you to watch B-movies in an effort to drive you insane
5306: Actually, that's not a bad idea. Lets see...

1: Force crew to watch bad movies
2: ???
3: World Domination
rampant

04-29-06, 02:03 AM		Satnak - Idiots *Orb Hammer*

Micheal - what the ??!

Satnak - Custom power its sort of like a telekenetic blast but in a sphere around me, like a less lethal form of Ultrablast. By the way the dimension is ripping asunder get ready for work people.

Andrea - When did Satnak start researching things, that was almost strategic.

Ketler - Kithle said the arm would cause her to grow much faster and in many more areas than normal for adventurers. Its only her lack of a mission outside of wailing on any deifics that pop up that makes her seem like hired muscle.

Micheal - Well lets grab our gear guys.

Andrea - You want to work?

Micheal - Kyhber no I'm just hoping that some one will give us a nother shot around the rulebook, like vs. the Quori.

Dooj - I heard Kithle say they were still screaming over that.
Phantomcrossing

04-29-06, 03:40 AM		Amidst the chaos, Norbaz successfully sneaks back on the ship, regaining his senses halfway through Marish's little shopping list, and selling everything back for half price. Angy, tired, and aggitated at being charmed, the cooky prepares for his next course of action. He'll have that letter back, he'll destroy it, and he'd have Marish's silence on the matter if its the last thing he did...he plotted from the shadows where he stealthily hid...

Suddenly, Norbaz thought of something - Wait a second she is Andrea's familiar, which means that if Marish read the letter than.....OH KHYBER! She already knows...she already knows...what do I do. What do I say. Soverigns I have no idea what to do...

The half giant cooky leaves the shadows on deck and walks straight for the stairs to below deck, looking suddenly pale and weak in his stride.

Norbaz: How...how could I have completely overlooked that...that's a first level mistake...I...I need to lie down. Oh Soverigns I need to lie down.
Charles Phipps

04-29-06, 03:43 AM		Oh yes...

Andrea: *sporting the worst sunburn of all time* Santak.....I don't know how I'm getting revenge for what you did to Marish but....trust me. Daelkyr, Sovereign Host, Quori, King, or Rajah....I will. Oh yes, I will.

*Marish in her fully body cast is lifted up by her tail as only blinking is seen from within*

Marish: Meow.

Andrea: You always get me into trouble. I swear, I knew I should have just glued some suction cups onto your paws and used you as a decoration for the Ship's windows.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-29-06, 09:13 AM		OOC: Here's some rules for any MST3K fans (please tell me I'm not the only one :bigeyes: ):

5294: Crow's full name is not Crow T. Robot
5295: Silver is not a polymorphed Gypsy
5296: There is no Tom Servo aboard
5297: Niether Ketler or Allen are Joel Robinson
5298: Or Dr. Clayton Forester
5299: Igor is not TV's Frank
5300: Or Torgo
5301: Kanatash is not Brain Guy
5302: Even if he can make your head explode with a thought
5303: Slip is not Magic Voice
5304: There is no one named Slip aboard!
5305: I am not planning to force you to watch B-movies in an effort to drive you insane
5306: Actually, that's not a bad idea. Lets see...

1: Force crew to watch bad movies
2: ???
3: World Domination
OOC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! Igor is certainly not Torgo. Igor walks better.
IC: A blazingly exotic half-elf female walks through the shadowy corridors of the FF, wearing infultration gear that couldn't possibly have been made in this universe. From the trail of bodies in her wake it appears she's pretty deadly. And she's good at killing people, too.

A redshirt pops out from behind some crates and waves his hands around in a magic gesture.

Reshirt: Prepare to die, soul-sucker!

But his spell fizzles harmlessly against her body. Before he can blink, she has him by the throat.

Half-elf: Part drow. Spell resistance.

Then she sucks the magic out of him. And since magic is the basic stabalizing force for matter in this universe, he dies.
Phantomcrossing

04-29-06, 09:20 AM		Norbaz walks past this scene, and responds half heartedly.

Norbaz: The dead redshirt quota's already been reached this week. New crew members should go check in with the captain.

Norbaz again sighs, and begins walking back to his cabin with his head held low.

Norbaz: Do...Do I go talk to her and apologize. How...what...oh. This...this just isn't happening.

The half elf part drow in infiltration gear just watches as the oddly dressed half giant passes, rather confused at what just happened.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-29-06, 09:46 AM		Half-elf: Was that Norbaz? So he's a half-giant here. And psionic, I'm guessing. Pitty, I hate the taste of psionics. Too heavy an emphasis on the mind.
urial angel of death

04-29-06, 11:02 AM		Volrath strides down said shadowy corridor, and begins a monologue.
Volrath : I believe that it has been stated before, only redshirts and Xoriat spawn are allowed here. Further more... Wow :inlove: you're really hot. (in his head) What do I do now. This is always what happens before she either runs screaming or tries to kill me.
Volrath teleports away.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-29-06, 04:38 PM		Half-elf: D*mn, hot guy. Still, he's not the one I'm looking for. But if they can see me then the portals must be solidifying. Guess I'll have to hustle to that captain's office without visiting Kithle first. *sigh* Have patience my love. Soon you will rule an empire greater than your wildest dreams.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

04-29-06, 06:11 PM		(ooc can we posibly get back to the list? on that)
### The crew are forbiden from dealing in any way with Skippy, on penalty of liquid keelhaling.
###+1 The crew are not to alter the climate or sea levels for comercal gain. Dorn & Arda do you not get druids?
Kaizer_Ryu

04-29-06, 06:36 PM		(ooc can we posibly get back to the list? on that)

OOC: The list has grown. The stories here work with and off of the list, creating something greater than either of them alone.

SilvercatMoonpaw, I'm quite glad at least someone gets those. :D
rampant

04-29-06, 07:18 PM		Satnak - Hey mage-vamp!

Half-elf - Who are you?

Satnak - Don't mess with the cook! I haven't had Anything beside an everlunds recipe in almost a week! Don't touch the Half-gian or i will smash you into a small red smear then scrape it up and boil it!

Half-elf - Creative threat but you are no obsta.......aacck

Satnak Has the Half-elf in a right handed neck grab.

Satnak - Geuss what *****, I am not right-handed. Also half-drow don't inherit their elf parent's spell resistance.

Puff of logic

Half-elf - hhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzeeee eee

Satnak drops her in a heap.

Satnak - KIthle says hi, and WHO THE **** ARE YOU?!?
Kaizer_Ryu

04-29-06, 07:28 PM		Terra: (behind the new girl) Word of advice. Do not mess with the deicide or anyone involved with her chili. I did once and nearly got smashed into particles.

Half-Elf: Jeez, how many Psions are there on board?

Terra: Enough to keep us all on our toes, at least.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-29-06, 08:26 PM		Half-elf: *sigh* I guess I have no choice.

Satnak and Terra both jump the half-elf, but as soon as they touch her they can feel something draining their magic, draining their very existance. As powerful as they are they can break away without suffering the full effects. Satnak remembers her other arm. She strikes out, but the half-elf ducks under and grabs Satnak's head.

And kisses her.

Of course, it's a succubus type 1 "Get ready to have the life sucked outa ya".

Terra tries in vain for a minute to hit the half-elf with anything, even a piece of wood. But anything that touches the b***h dissolves. After 60 seconds Satnak's deicide arm falls off, and the half-elf lets go.

Half-elf: What?! You're still alive? There must be a powerful force protecting you. More powerful than a god……How ironic. (She squats next to the gasping Satnak.) And I never intended to touch your little chilli cook, nor any of the more useful crew……except for my beloved Kithle. :inlove:

Terra: You are one freaky lady. Do you know that?

Half-elf: Comes from my drow heratige. (Stands. Begins circling Terra.) Their goddess had a thing for tentacles. Something about "schoolgirls".

Terra: You can't have spell resistance……so how come—

Half-elf: (Smiles condescendingly.) Must be such a shame to be as lowly a creature as yourself. You're so stupid, you only think in terms of what you know. Well, I don't really have spell resistance—

Terra hits with a full on blast of everything she has. It gets sucked into the half-elf's body.

Half-elf: I, Caralot, am a black hole for magic.

The floor beneath Terra gives way, the support having been dissolved by Caralot. Fortunately Terra knows how to fly.

Caralot: My, my, the little single-breed knows some tricks. Well, I can't waste time with you. I have a child to conceive with your captain. I seriously hope my anarchist double doesn't struggle……too much. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Terra thinks quickly. She recalls Igor's lectures on being a proper villain. so far this female has lived up to most of the criteria, so Terra tries a sure trick to extract information from her.

Terra: Ack! My…magic…faiding.

She falls to the bottom of the hole.

Caralot: Well, I've got to run.

Caralot walks off.

Terra: *Oooookay, she's either not stupid……or she's serious about not bothing with the rest of the crew.*
rampant

04-29-06, 08:48 PM		Satnak - Geuss what *****.

Half-elf - how are you standing?

Satnak - I'm stronger than the gods remember.

Satnak despite being one armed unleashes a devastating series of attacks backed up by her soulmelds the half-elf is neatly pummeled.

Satnak - Now behave and let kithle sort this out.

Half-elf - (now sporting a black eye aand several borken bones, as well as bruises and ruptured organs) huh?

Kithle teleports in.

Kithle - Gotta watch satnak here she is definetly the best warriors i've ever seen. Even without here psionic power. Also little note the arms effects are permanent even detached it still leaves its power in her. Now you will tell me who you are, why you are here, and why you want to meet the captain.

Satnak puts her arm back on.

Satnak - Oh by the way I'll take that back plz *zortch*, thank you.

Half-elf - as if my head didn't hurt enough.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

04-29-06, 08:54 PM		OOC: The list has grown. The stories here work with and off of the list, creating something greater than either of them alone.


True, ignore me long time Lurker who found it hard to keep up withthe storys, not having the best of days, sry for snaping. :bigeyes:
Charles Phipps

04-29-06, 08:57 PM		OOC: Forgive me Kanatash fans but what he gets here, he's had coming for a LONGGGGG Time.

Jarlot: Okay, there's a dimensional tear. I wonder what that means.

Kanatash: Unless its repaired then all of time and space will collapse.

Jarlot: And let me guess, you're whole Age of Xoriat thing will happen.

Kanatash: On the contrary, it HAS happened. It exists in the future that has yet to come about.

Jarlot: Uh huh...

Kanatash: Your pitiful 3 dimensional mind is unfortunately painfully ill equipped to comprehend what I'm talking about.

Jarlot: Right, whatever. Remind me next time I visit Xoriat to go kill some more Daelkyr.

Kanatash: Such an action would only serve to reincarnate the immortal and eternal.

Jarlot: It would be fun though.

Kanatash: If there is anything that should be noted about you Captain that you might be proud of its the fact that you're the only person whose ever actually returned from a state of utter and complete insanity. Such things normally are utterly immune to clerical magic or sorcery to remake the mind since it alters. It means you are either very stupid or very special. I lean towards the former.

Jarlot: Oh, I don't think you'd like what you'd find in my mind about now.

Kanatash: I'm sure it would be just a vacant mass of sexual moores and neurosis like the rest of your underdeveloped race.

Jarlot: Remember when I had you interviewing the Dwarven Lady as revenge?

Kanatash: A rather pathetic form of revenge yes.

Jarlot: Well while we were in the Quori's dimension and I was talking to Khyber...

Kanatash: A nonexistent incarnation of mortal's concepts of evil....

Jarlot: I sort of picked up a trick or two from the Dreaming Dark and put them to use against you.

Kanatash: The very idea one of your plebian brain could possibly affect mine is about as likely as the World series being won by Boston.

Jarlot: Well I'm sure you'll notice what I did sometime soon.

Kanatash: Of course. *picks up a cup of coffee to drink*

Jarlot: I hope you like that. Marish made it.

Kanatash: ....A *GIRL touched this!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*he runs slamming into Marish*

Marish: Hi.

Kanatash: AND if you EVER touch me again you filthy *****BAG with your....female GERMS I'll reduce your brain to microatoms.

*runs to the bathroom to scrub off*

Ketler: Wow....that's a particularly nasty sort of revenge.

Jarlot: There's nothing no elder intelligence cannot be undone by greater than by cooties.

Ketler: You know he's going to destroy you for that.

Jarlot: Whenever he tries to use his powers against one of the crew...you know...I like....it rebounds with Marish's Naughty Adventures Videos I through VIII, which has the Palov-Clockwork Orange reaction affect on him too.

Kanatash: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH! MY DARK MASTERS WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?

Jarlot: Yeah he's going to be doing that for a while.

Marish: How odd.

Kanatash: THE FUR! MY PURE AND PRISTINE MIND! THE FURRRRRRRRR!

*sound of Kalashatar head pounding against a urinal*

Jarlot: Hmmm...now we have to deal with the Illithids from the Empire of the future coming out to menace us.
Crystalforged

04-29-06, 11:12 PM		Hmmm, yeah Kanatash probably did have that coming and it gives me an idea too...



Micheal: So uh, Kanatash, Why'd you freak out like that about the cootie stuff?

Kanatash: (trembling slightly) I'd really rather not go into it.

Dooj: Ah, come on!

Kanatash: Do you really want to know what could disturb a being of absolute madness and evil THAT much?

Dooj: When you put it that way...

Suddenly a short Kalashtar girl lands on the deck from out of nowhere. Her clash horribly and her hair is violently purple. At the sight of Kanatash she begins bouncing up and down and letting out a high pitched screem.

???: (anoyingly high voive) YEAH, KANATASH! Oh wow, I've been like looking for you for like forever!

Kanatash: BY THE DERANGED LORDS AND ALL THAT IS MAD IN THIS WORLD NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kanatash suddenly and violently snaps her neck with an uncontrolled blast of pisonic force.

Kanatash: OH ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****, oh ****..

Kanatash dives through the deck but the cadence of his cursing can still be heard. This cadance soon begins to grow more obsecene, even shifting languages a few times, until it descends into a series of utterations from no known languages that none the less causes alien and impossible landscapes to flash in the listener's mind that are non the less obscene.

Micheal: Ok, I'm impressed.

Dooj: What are you talking about. By his standards that kill was pathetic. Even when outnumbered a hundred to one he always spends more time than that to make sure the death is painful or better yet psychologically damaging.

Micheal: Well yeah, I was talking about that stream of obscenities he spouted there. I ask him to teach me a few of them if I wasn't sure it would drive me mad.

---

Later in the lower decks Kanatash is floating in mid air, curled into the fetal position, when Kithle enters the room.

Kithle: Ok, time to fess up, what the **** was the incident on the deck all about?

Kanatash: (wimpering slightly) It's her, she's found me.

Kithle: I'd like to get some strait answers or I'm going blast you back to Xoriat. Who was that girl.

Kanatash: (recovering slightly) Her name is Crystal. Before my little trip to Xoriat she was my lover and after things went horribly wrong she came to track me down...

Kithle: Wait a second there. I thought you said you spent 5000 years in Xoriat?

Kanatash: Being a fellow spawn of Xoriat you should know this but since you've never been there I'll excuse it. Time doesn't work like mortals seem to think it does. On Xoriat it is variable to say the least. Two people could enter the realm of madness moments apart and even if the first spent a year there and the second spent a minute, the first could still leave first. With the time dilation at the time while I was on Xoriat 5000 years only a few days passed here.

Kithle: Alright, now back to the girl, Crystal you called her?

Kanatash: Yes, you see when I returned and she saw what had become of me she decided I had to be put down. Unfortunately for her she was a telepath so she tried to burn out my mind, and you know what happens when someone gets inside my mind. I was freash form Xoriat so the mental feedback was enourmous. It reduced her mind to that of a teenage vallygirl.

Kithle: WOW, she got it worse than Jonny did.

Kanatash: True, unfortunately she developed a bizare obscession with me, like I was some kind of rock star to her. She has been stalking me for years and I have had to go to great lengths to escape her.

Kithle: So what's the problem now? You killed her up there on the deck right?

Kanatash: I only wish. An odd side effect of the mental feedback caused her to suddenly develop the skills of Thrallherd and each of her thralls looks exactly like her. Plus her mind has been so damaged that I can not read it to determin which one of them is the origional. It is like there are hundreds of copies of her and no matter how many I slay there are always more. I may have slain the one of the deck but now the rest of them know where I am and they will be coming.

Kithle: You know, I think I'm starting to see why you have this issue with cooties...

Kanatash: If you think its bad now wait until the rest of them show up.



Crystal: female Kalastar telepath 5/thrallherd 10

Crystal is best known among the crew for her anoyingly high pitched voice and even more anoyingly cheerful personality not to mention her abuse of the common tounge and the word "like" in particular. She has more thralls than anyone cares to count and for all intents and purposes they are identical. She is normally seen in groups of at least three talking among themselves. She tends to charm or dominate other crew members into doing all sorts of tasks for her as well. She is also truely obscessed with Kanatash, treating him like he is some sort of celebrity and constantly stalking him. She has a really creepy collection of things that used to belong to him that she displays to anyone who will look and plently of people who wont. She spends a lot of time among her thralls talking about how "hunky" Kanatash is and tracking his every move. On Kanatash's part he is completely freaked out by her and really wants to be rid of her.
rampant

04-29-06, 11:52 PM		Kithle - Talk Caralot or I will make finding what i want to know a ship wide production. Kanatash, Sa'vor, and all the others using their favorite tricks. I'd advise you spill. I was this close to a vacation. Death paper has a list of things to take care of on his tail. The old Dwarf lady is looking after feal-thas and his siblings for me. Terra has my network running while I'm gone, and Satnak is more than capable of destroying anything that needs stopping as I'm sure you've noticed. So spill before i lose my patience and do this the fun way. My brain sucking isn't magic.
Crystalforged

04-30-06, 01:04 AM		A few more odd tidbits about Crystal I thought to add...

- most of the crew kills her and her thralls on sight
- even the "good" crew members dislike Crystal greatly because she is so anoying, Lisa has smighted several on occasion and Aerith refuses to deal with them
- Crystal never shuts up under any circumstance and this fact has drive the price of silence producing items among the crew to astronomical levels
- The fact that Crystal is constantly attracting new thralls means the crew now has a bottemless supply of redshirts, a fact which several of them have abused, unfortunately since they are all exactly like Crystal they are all extremely anoying and actually rank below redshirts
- Kanatash is deathly afraid of Crystal and spends a great deal of his time hiding from her.
- No force known to man, Quori, Daelkyr, or anything else has so far managed to expel Crystal from the ship.
- Groups of Crystals tend to talk in unison and are often refered to as one person
- Seems incapable of forming a sentance that does not at contain the word "like" at least once



Crystal: (about a dozen in unison) YEAH, WE LIKE LOVE YOU KANATASH!

Kanatash: GO AWAY! (unleashes a blast of fire, incinerating half of them)

Crystal: YEAH, HE'S LIKE KILLING US!! LIKE, OUR HERO!

Kanatash: (blasting away the remaining Crystals) Ugh, I really, really, REALLY need a vacation. And I need to kill something. Slowly, painfully, and psycoticly. Yeah, that'll make me feel better. I need to get on that.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-30-06, 01:16 AM		OOC: I'm still confused as to why Terra jumped Caralot. She was offering sage advice... :weep:

IC:

Terra sits on deck with Lisa and Volrath, discussing her recent encounter and killing off any Crystal Thralls that come around. Volrath is busy drooling over his memory of Caralot, oblivious to most of the conversation.

Terra: Stuck up little b****. Who is she to call me lowly.

*several Crystal thralls meet quick, explosive deaths*

Terra: Well, excuse me for being born mortal. I only spent the last thousand years searching for a way to break my imprisonment. I practically run the Eberron underground. I have survived Xor'iat, pre-hippie :coolcthul , he-who-must-not-be-named, Nyarlathotep, and Dal Quor, twice. I've done a hell of a lot more than most mortals and even a few demi-gods...

Lisa: Which personality did what? And who's Nyarlathotep?

Volrath: (piping up) That'd be my dad, also known as the Crawling Chaos.

*Not-Walter tears three more apart as they cheerfully try and pet him*

Terra: We both did our part. I, as Not-Walter, worked for the Daelkyr for a while. That's how Kanatash knew me. It was thier idea for me to train as a sorceror. They also sent me to meet Terra prime.

Lisa: You worked for the Daelkyr?!

Terra: About 300 years ago my time, more like 100 years in Eberron, I discovered a way into Xor'iat. I was desperate, and I figured the Daelkyr were my best bet to breaking the seal.

*Volrath strangles another one, stuffs her down the throat of another, and then beats the third and fourth one to death with his new 'club'*

Lisa: Why did they let you go? I can't see them letting you off the hook just like that.

Terra: Oh, I'm not really free of them yet. I agreed to watch over Volrath in exchange for my freedom, and they wanted to encourage my vendetta against the Quori.

Volrath: (tossing the now bloody mass over the side) Wow, I didn't know that. Is...that the only reason you're with me? :bigeyes:

Terra: Not at all. Terra prime was genuinely fond of you, and Not-Walter began taking a liking to you as well. I'm here because I want to be.

Volrath: YAY!!!

Lisa: (smiling) It's eerily cute to see you two talking like this.
turalisj

04-30-06, 01:18 AM		*a pair of mindbold ninja look at eachother from below decks*

Mindbold1: Yeah, it's time to get this invasion under way...

Mindbold2: ....And release the master. But how to gain enough psychic energy to summon him?

*Meanwhile, above deck, Kanatash is blasting away every redshirt that he finds with a blast of pure, unrated psionic energy*

Jarlot: Great, who's ****** him off this time?
Charles Phipps

04-30-06, 03:15 AM		Ketler: Do you realize what you've done?

Jarlot: Yes.

*Crystals bring Jarlot cookies and creme as another one fans the Captain from behind*

Ketler: All this to get revenge on Kanatash?

Jarlot: Yep.

Ketler: They're...so...horrible!

Jarlot: And obedient! I'm saving on crew by the dozenfold!

Ketler: How can you stand them?

Jarlot: I've gazed into the heart of Khyber....my pity for the psychotic evils of this crew is pretty damned small.

Ketler: You have to have an ulterior motive.

Jarlot: I'm the only one with passes for off ship and thus Aerith has to date me before ANY of the crew get any.

Ketler: She probably loves them.

Jarlot: There's limits to even divine good.

***

Elsewhere

Terra: Listen, Aerith, I don't like you so I don't really want you hanging around and if you don't min....is that a flamethrower on your back?

Aerith: Why yes, yes it is.

Crystal: HEYYYYYYYYYYYY! *bounce*

*Aerith hits the Crystal with the flame thrower and kicks it off the ship's side*

Terra: :blink:

Aerith: Lousy little b*tches.

*fires flame thrower at another one that appears*

Aerith: John? You got room for another one? I think I found a gorram nest.

John: *squeezes some nastily* Yes Mistress Ripley...err Aerith.

Terra: :mymy: Ummm this is a new side to you.

Aerith: Listen, I'm pretty much pure good but just because I'm pure Good doesn't mean even *I* don't have my limits to the amount of sacharine I can take. Jarlot may have the plan to have Ketler copy the mindthrall data of these little things so they can be used to take over the world and utterly expell all the Quori and Daelkyr's influence from the planet but that doesn't mean I have to be a part of it. These things give my kind a bad name. I mean cute is in MODERATION...

Terra: Wait, hold up....I thought Jarlot just got these things to annoy Kanatash.

Ketler: He just told me they were to get a date with you.

Aerith: Hasn't it ever occured to you that the Captain is really...odd for the position of Captain of this boat?

Terra: A few times.

Aerith: To his conscious mind he's just trying to get a date with me.... *kicks a Crystal into John's arms for a death hug* but to his unconscious mind he's still the Spawn Of Khyber and her Chosen One destined to bring about the end of everything.

Terra: I thought he made that up.

Aerith: Yes and Solar Devas routinely possess his girlfriends for a lark. No, my mission is to keep Jarlot from realizing his true potential and becoming a near omnipotent evil despot.
The Brianna part of me still loves both Jarlot and her brother and its why both of us have worked to make them lovably ineffectual doofuses rather than the potential ultimate evils both have to be. Except, this time the Dark Queen...The Dragon Below...T'iamat...and so on got one past us and Jarlot is about to realize his potential by turning everyone into a worshipper of him and thus Khyber.

Then...he'll spread onward.

Ketler: Damnit, I always knew dad would destroy the world.

Aerith: He'll make this infection worse before he makes it better.

***

Elsewhere

Jarlot: Let's see, thanks to the modifications I made to your chemcial structure. You breed if I pour water on you.

*pulls up Garden Hose*

Crystals: YAY!

Jarlot: Be sure to avoid sunlight and also eat PLENTYYYY of food after midnight. Got that everyone?

Crystals: YES MISTER BOSS MAN!

*sprays them all as they start popping out other crystals*

Tony Tomay: Isn't this just a Blatant Rip off of Gremlins Captain Jarlot?

Jarlot: Girls, please eat her.

Tony Tomay: AH!

***

Michael: You know who had sex...with a woman...last night?

Doog: I dunno...you?

Michael: Oh yes.

Lisa: Listen Michael....

Michael: Oh yes, sex kitten?

Lisa: Oh hell.

*Michael gives the Zapp Rannigan look*

Stupid: God damnit, does anyone know where the robot toilet paper is? How can I clean my robot butt if you stupid fleshbags are still around and what's with all the damn rejects from Strawberry Shortcake walking around?

Michael: We've missed you Stupid.

Stupid: Yeah I've missed me too ya gawd damned meatbags. Where's the motoroil you call ale? It's almost as good as real motoroil?

Crystals: HEY MISTER ROBOT MAN!

Stupid: *tosses one overboard*
Kaizer_Ryu

04-30-06, 04:36 AM		The deck is swarming with Crystals. Several of the crew are trying desperately to wade through and escape the shrill, happy little s**ts.

Terra: (from somewhere in the crowd) OK, I have REALLY had enough of this! Time for a desperate measure... WHO WANTS CANDY?!

Crystals: (in unison) LIKE, OMG!!! FREE CANDY!!!!

Terra begins handing out small brightly wrapped candies. The incessant talking dies down as the Crystals enjoy their present.

Lisa: Have you gone daft?! You want them to get even more hyper off sugar?!

Volrath: (smiling knowingly) Wait for it...oh, you may want to cover your face, or at least close your eyes.

Lisa: Wha-*Kapow!*

A spray of blood eminates from a few feet away, followed by several other popping noises and yet more blood. Several Crystals have simply exploded.

Lisa & Aerith: :eek: :gah:

Many of the Crystals begin running around excitedly, laughing gleefully even as their sisters continue exploding. One by one, they all succumb, leaving nothing but lots and lots of blood and Crystal guts slopping all over the place.

Volrath: WOOHOO!!!

Terra: (wiping off some of the blood) Damn right! Little punks...

Aerith: (on the verge of tears) That...that was so horrifically evil...yet I feel so overwhelmed with happyness...I'm so confused...

Lisa: I'm glad those ones are gone, but why in Eberron would you be carrying something like that?

Terra: Oh, it's just a little something Volrath, Urial and I came up with a while back to deal with a goblin infestation. :devil: The little bastards never saw it coming...
rampant

04-30-06, 05:11 AM		Caralot - I feel unloved.

Satnak - I'm bored.

Kithle - I'm still waiting, I can't just read you like anyone else, so spill or its professor lobotomy's school of interrogation.
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-30-06, 07:46 AM		( In Sa'vors Citadel of Darkness; millions of Crystals swarm)
Sa'vor: Feal-Thas! how did they get in!! HOW !! THIS DIMENSION IS IMPENITRABEL TO ALL WHOM DO NOT POSSESS A KEY!!!

Feal-Thas: ( over the giggling) I THINK ITS A PLOT DEVICE!!!

Sa'vor: WHAT?

Feal-Thas: A PLOT DEVICE!

Sa'vor: REALLY? WELL THIS TIME THE CAPTAINS GONE TOO FAR!! RALLY THE TROOPS ! WE'LL CUT OUR WAY THROUGH THEM!!

Feal-Thas: (Salutes) and begins to hack a path through them.

( more giggiling)
Sa'vor: *to himself* this is the worst torture i've ever put up with. im going to make Jarlot pay. and when im finished making him pay.... the gods will sudder at the things i've. ( Now Yelling and waving his fist a the sky)
YOU HERE THAT JARLOT! WHEN IM FINSIHED WITH YOU THE VERY HEAVENS WILL WHEEP WITH TEARS OF PITY!

( an hour later, Sa'vors Citadel dimensions door bursts open with an explosion, thousands of Crystals run from it. Sa'vor steps from it, fully armoured his black cloak swishing behind him. in his right hand a mind blade like a void sucks at reality, His raven lands on his shoulder. Sa'vors very form is wreathed in black flames, his colourless eyes possess the most soul chilling look ever imagined)

Void ( the raven): *CAW* Master, i have returned.

Sa'vor: So you have, what news do you bring?

Void: *CAW* Vol has found the symbol, she now holds it in her grasp *CAW* but there is a rebellion soon. your minions shall lead it

Sa'vor: Okay then, Void cover my back and if anymore of those bloody things come within a hundred feet blast them.

Void: *CAW*

Sa'vor: i'll take that as a yes

Void: *CAW* ( explosion in the back ground, followed by more giggiling and calls of Wheres kantash? like does he know where kantash is?)

( Sa'vor rips a door of its hinges as he proceeds from his cell at the lowest decks of the ship, on the stairs stand more crystals whom didnt eat the sugar, Sa'vor smiles and hacks them all to death with his bare hands. blood clings to his very form as he tacks some spare time to feed)
Sa'vor: It feels so good to destroy again! i havnt felt this good since the last war! ( Blasts another of the giggling monstrocityies apart)

Void: *CAW* there is many of them master *CAW* ( another explosion)

Sa'vor: yes, which makes it even more fun. ( behind him the sounds of heavy mailed boots marching from the portal, Tara's voice calls orders as they split up to sweep the corridors. Sa'vor hacks his way through seas of the things, instead of using his expert weapon techniques Sa'vor just uses brutal sweeping arcs to cleave his way through them. sometimes unleashing waves of elemental energy or even letting the black flames that cover his body immolate any he does not kill himself)
Sa'vor: *maniacle laughter* this is far better than any holiday. now all i have to do is find Jarlot

Void: *CAW* ( a stream of magic anillates more of the crystal swarm behind his master)
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-30-06, 08:12 AM		OOC: Sorry, I was asleep.

IC: Caralot throws herself on Kithle.

Caralot (in overly dramatic voice): Oh, my beloved, my adamantine mind, my ultimate soulmate. *kiss, kiss, kiss* Come back to my dimension with me. I will forget about my plan to mate with my counterpart in this universe, Jarlot, to spawn the ultimate scion of dark and twisted gods—

Kithle: Igor's right. I wasn't sure I believed him, but this b**ch is spouting off everything.

Caralot:—who would then rule my star-spanning empire, wrested by my ancestors' hands from the hated drow. But I will give up that plan *kiss, kiss, kiss* if you will join me. You will have an empire greater than the one you dream of for this world. Together we will rule, and we shall crush all those who oppose us—

Satnak: Why can't I attack her? I mean, this is annoying.

Kithle: If you want villains to reveal their secrets to you, you can't interrupt their monologues—Igor.

Caralot:—and we would finally be able to crush those loathsome purebreds of the weak dragon empire of—

Reman Weascal [remember, he's a lawyer]: Hold it! I have been retained by various powers that be to serve you with a cease and desist order. That name you are about to mention may be copyrighted, and thus not elegable for posting on these boards.

Kithle: What's he talking about? What boards?

Satnak: If you'll notice he's talking fun, I think he's being controlled by some higher, more omniscient power.

Caralot: Well aren't you ripping off a gag from The Order of the Stick, by Rich Burlew, http://www.giantitp.com/, known for its ability to use wit in conjuction with D&D terms?

Reman: Yes. I also have here (he unrolls a realllllllllllllllllllly long scoroll) [/b]an order from the gods of your universe deciding they don't like it very much and that you and everything in it are going to be destroyed so they can go work on some other project.[/b]

Caralot: :weep: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (kisses Kithle as deeply as possible, considering he has tentacles on his face) Be strong my love. I shall find a way to…return……(she begins fading) from the realm………of…… ………non…………………………………………existance—

Kithle: D*mn, and I thought she was going to be another villain that we could fight valiantly and notch up a free celestial pardon.

Caralot: Nah. She was a drama queen. She could do the whole "I'm superior to you" bit, but in reality she was relying on her magical suction to turn any opposition into so much dust.

Kithle cracks his psychic knuckles. Satnak grabs Caralot by the neck.

Caralot: Hey, wait! I'm not psycho-b*tch queen!

Satnak: Spill quickly! We don't want to wait this time.

Caralot (realy fast): I'm Jarlot's female counterpart from an alternate Eberron in which there is a fourth progenitor dragon, and Cyre was overrun first by a disease that made everyone fight a lot, then by something called "blood" magic that turned people into "monsters", which was ultimately stemmed by the arrival of the People of the Fourth Dragon—who look like otters. Now Eberron is entering the Age of Blood, or more precisely the age where people figure out how to use genetic engineering to create strains of creatures never before seen on their world. I'm here as part of a House Vidalis—which I should mention on my Eberron is run by lycanthropes— sample-finding mission—hey, hey! Lay off the neck!

Satnak: I say she's lying.

Kithle: No, her mind is an open book. Actually, it's way too open. She's got the ability to like any cute creature—

Just then a group of Crystals walks by.

Caralot: :inlove: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! They are the cutest thing! (prys open Satnak's hand without even grunting and rushes over to hug the Crystals)

Kithle and Satnak exchange a look. *Yeah, not going to touch her.* They back away slowly.

Satnak: Wonder why we got another one of her.

Gratuitous Explanatory Voice: Becuase the humor implications of her name have yet to be fully realized.

OOC: Hint, hint. *wink* *wink*.
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-30-06, 08:25 AM		Caralot sees Sa'vor on the warpath.

Caralot: :weep: You're killing all the cutey goodness! (she runs up and grabs his void arm.) No!

Sa'vor throws her to the ground.

Sa'vor: Commander Tal-tan, restrain her.

Caralot struggles valiantly, but the half-dragon hold her back.

Caralot: Have mercy!

Sa'vor (confused): Why?

Caralot: Because cuteness should be preserved. Can I keep just one? I know a whole lot about manipulating creatures so I can make it so that it can't breed or reproduce in any way, and I'll even put in a program so that if you tell it to shut up or talk right it'll shut up or talk right.

Please? :bigeyes:

Sa'vor tries to resist, but is compelled by some force even more primal than he is aware of.

Sa'vor: *What's affecting me? I'm evil! I don't grant mercy if I don't want to.*

Caralot: :bigeyes:

Sa'vor: Gah! Alright, just one. And make those modifications as soon as possible!

Caralot: Yay! (she runs off to pick out a Crystal)

Sa'vor: I hope Kantash doesn't kill me for this.

Crow: On the plus side, now you have a skilled manipulator of genetic material happy with you.

Sa'vor: Are you going to be popping up a lot?

Crow: Actually, Silver and I will be doing a comentary on the actions of the rest of the crew.
rampant

04-30-06, 08:31 AM		Kithle - I was hoping for a serious contender here. Is she in love with me, faking it, or in love with a different version of me?

Satnak - I've got this new trick i want to try see ya.

Vaporizes or pulverizes every crystal she senses on her way out.

Kithle sneaks out nervously.

Kithle - I think I'll go to argonessen. Yes a few weeks imitating those guys ought to relax me.

_________

Satnak - Tifa I've been meaning to ask, since your human and the other girl was a nymph, doesn't that mean the kids should be 1/2 human and 1/2 fey, instead of full blood pixies.

Tifa - Well...

*Puff of Logic*

Rikku - Hey we got ...

Yuna - bigger all of ...

Paine - a sudden.

Satnak - I love this trick. X3
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-30-06, 08:46 AM		Crow: Well, here we are.

Silver: Doing a commentary on the rest of the crew.

Crow: What's with Caralot?

Silver: The original was a psycho-b*tch queen, descended from imperialist drow who ruled a multi-planetary empire and the elves that overthrew them. Her goddess has—

Crow: Has?

Silver: You don't think the writers are going to give up on a joke like that so easily?

Crow: So her goddess has a thing for tentacles—

Silver:—and she had a thing for powerful males. Boom! Kithle.

Crow: But this Caralot is different.

Silver: She's a lover of cute things from an Eberron where everyone in Cyre got turned into some sort of monster instead of being killed.

Crow: So she can't possibly love Kithle.

Silver: He's not cute.

Crow: I think he'll be releaved.

Silver: Ever wonder how Tifa got the nymph pregnant?

Crow: The nymph got Tifa pregnant.

Silver: Oh, yeah.

Crow: Yeah, I've thought about it.

Silver: Good thing we are ultimately connected to a mind which can understand almost anything. Otherwise we'd speculate about it.

Crow: And no one wants to hear the details of that. Uh……can we vanish in a puff of logic?

Silver: What, us? We're completly illogical.

Crow: Oh, good. I was worried for a minute.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-30-06, 11:30 AM		Terra: Hey, Kithle. *tosses him a bag*

Kithle: Isn't this...gold?

Terra: Yeah...

Kithle: Ok, what are you up to? You don't just give people gold.

Terra: Consider it a consulting fee. You've helped me out enough, you deserved it. You really should think about charging for your services more often.

Kithle: Hmmm...I could use something to supplement the pittance Jarlot gives me...

Terra: You'll still have to get Jarlot to give you a pass off ship. He's being stubborn again. The whole obsession with Aerith.

Kithle: *sigh* Can't I just go on vacation? Does relaxation have to be an arduous task every time?
Crystalforged

04-30-06, 01:54 PM		:rofl: Wow, this is some of the funniest stuff I've seen on this thread in a long time.



Kanatash is hidding in a personal pocket dimension which he has completely sealed off.

Kanatash: Ok, deep, calming, breaths. They can't get me here, I'm completely sealled off now. I just need to figure out what to do now. I suppose I could just stay here and wait for reality to end but thats going to get old really fast. What I need is some way to find and destroy the origional crystal...

Silver and crow suddenly appear in a flash of light

Crow: It won't be quite that simple.

Kanatash: I'd ask how you got in here but when you've spent as much time around madness as I have you start to take these things for granted. Anyways, care to elaborate on that last statement?

Silver: Crystal's consciousness is no longer limited to one body. That is why you have been unable to kill her all these years. Her consiousness resides in each and every one of her thralls.

Kanatash: So you're saying to actually kill her, I need to kill every single one of her thralls?

Crow: Close, but not quite. Everytime one of her thralls is killed she transforms some poor fool out in the world into a new thrall. So you not only have to kill every single one of them, you also need to kill them all at exactly the same moment or her consciousness will jump to a new body each time you kill one.

Kanatash: That does make things rather difficult. I'm going to need some serious supplies to pull this off. (absentmindedly opens a portal out of the pocket dimension) I wonder where I should start... SWEAT JAELA, WHAT HAVE I DONE!

Thousands of Crystals who had been milling around outside the portal's opening suddenly turn.

Crystal: LIKE, KANATASH! WE LIKE LOVE YOU KANATASH!

Kanatash: ( :censored: the next several minutes of the monologe have been censored due to the fact that anyone reading them would be highly offended by their obcenity and then likely driven out of their mind. We apoligize for the incovenance. :censored: )

Kanatash manages to reseal the portal before too many Crystals pour through and then mathodically slaughters each and every one of them as Silver and Crow watch.

Kanatash: (now covered in gore) What I want to know is how these things got on the ship in the first place. I've been very careful to make sure she never found out that I live here.

Crow: You can thank Jarlot for that.

Silver: Yeah, I believe it was his idea of revenge for forcing him to give you and Kithle raises. Even we're not sure how he found out about her in the first place.

Kanatash: :twitch:

Crow: (to Silver) I think we should leave now...

Silver: Yeah, this isn't going to be pretty...

Silver and Crow vanish in a flash of light. Kanatash remains standing in place for several more minutes as his face slowly contorts into a visage of rage and hatred. Suddenly something seems to snap inside him and rends apart the pocket dimension. The Crystal's outside begins screaming and swarming but as soon as they come within a few feet of Kanatash they simply pop like soap bubbles. Kanatash suddenly takes off, moving faster than the speed of sound, and leaving a sonic boom which reduces the nearby Crystals into pulped meat. As he moves reality litteraly ripples from his passage and his rage is litterally palpable.

Kanatash: (screaming so loud that everyone on Eberron can hear him and some that aren't) JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRLLLLL
OOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!
Ryuu_Tenshi

04-30-06, 02:23 PM		Wow, I don't even know who these characters are nor do I feel like readin the whole thread (except for Volrath and various FF characters.) If someone wants to PM me, I'd appreciate it XD I hate not being in on the joke.

That said... I am a Kingdom Hearts FANATIC. It's not even funny. I've got a character sheet of Axel somewhere, waiting and ready.

So!

5307. Cyre is not Hollow Bastion.
5308. Vol is not Maleficent.
5309. Even if she is an evil dragony spellcaster of doom with designs on world domination who uses the power of darkness and corrupts people into doing her bidding.
5310. By the same token, Kaius is CERTINALY not Riku.
5311. Your Avian Wizard, Shifter Fighter, and strange unholy WarmageSoulknifeFighterBardClericPaladin are not going to go around locking up the various manifest zones, or the planes. Or unlocking them.
5312. Quori are not heartless.
5313. Shadow creatures are not heartless either.
5314. Ansem is not a daelkyr.
5315. Kaius is not Ansem either.
5316. Merrix MIGHT be Ansem, or That guy who isn't ansem, but some other guy all along, we promise.. But it's in your best intrests if he isn't.
5317. Your airship is not made of "gummi".
5318. The two gnomes who help maintain your airship are not named "Chip n Dale"
5319. THIS SHIP DOES NOT RUN ON HAPPY FACES. :(
Amik_Wulfenkind

04-30-06, 02:28 PM		Back to the things that party members should not do, these things my party memebers actually did, no actually, only my artificer did this... hmmm...

He shouted: "i'm looking for Nobbes!" in middle of a market hall in sharn. twice. he was actually looking for Copral Nobbes of the sharn watch. (NPC, any body read terry pratchett will notice) It's not right.

The other thing he did, was crash a small airship (bout 10 foot long), on loan to him, into the cockpit of an ENORMOUS airship, killing the pilot. He then proceeded to scream into the intercom, "I'VE KILLED THE PILOT, DEAR GOD I'VE KILLED THE PILOT!" this was then reasurred by our cleric saying, "No it's okay, he's just gone out for tea and cakes." great. needless to say, the airship crashed.

They change when they play dnd. they're sane in real life, honest. :eek:
Charles Phipps

04-30-06, 03:16 PM		OOC: We keep needing someone to make a Wiki page and then everyone can update it from them.

*sigh*
Lord Kale Fangblade

04-30-06, 04:19 PM		( Jarlot hides under the bed in his quaters, after hearing two of the most evil beings on the ship calling for his blood, Jarlot is scared, very scared. he knows they'll find him here, but what else could he do? he's no where near drunk enough to jump of the ship... and even then Kantash would find him. then he figured he could make slip hide him. but she'd just turn him over to Sa'vor and film what happens... Jarlot had seen what Sa'vor did to those redshirts after he'd turned good and if he was lucky Sa'vor would only do that to him. but Kantash on the other hand *shuder* he'd spent a thousand years being tourtured compared to Sa'vors mere 30. and what had happened to Kantash had turned him insane.. Sa'vor had just got splir personalities and after they'd assembled into one mind... well... lets just say they're not the kindist of people. "chose the lesser of two evils..." Jarlot had once been told. these two where as bad as each other, one is a traitor whom plots world domination aswell as being perhaps the most bloodthirsty and violent person on the ship ASWELL as knowing secrets beyond mortal minds. the other was a psycopath whom has millions of ways of causing pain and enjoys mind games and psycological torture *shudder* Jarlot had seen what happened to the Thranish admiral and he'd heard his screams of pain. and he'd heard Sa'vors screams when it was Kantash's turn to torture him not long ago. Jarlot Shrugged, there was no way out of this... unless.... they'd fight each other to get to tourture him, then one of them would be weakned and he could defeat them with his mastery of swords... it was risky but well, its was either that or be tourtured. just as jarlot began to come out from under the bed the door exploded and in its shadow stood Sa'vor, his eyes burning with unholy fury. at seeing his captain cowering under the bed sa'vor smiled)
Sa'vor: greetins Jarlot, i belive you know why im here

Jarlot: *whimper*

Sa'vor: im going to do such horribly evil things to you your very mind will be shattered, the gods will cry tears of pity for your horribly evicerated form and then... im going to give you the very illness that i suffer from; Phorphiric Heamophillia Mabranus. then you'll enjoy the very agony of every second of life that i enjoy. how does that sound?

Jarlot: But wont i be dead before then?

Sa'vor: (evil smile even more scary) oh no, you'll be alive through the whole thing, and guess what. im going to make sure you dont die, how does that sound?

Jarlot: Bad

Sa'vor: ITS SUPPOSED TO BE BAD! ( sa'vors voice takes on that horrible echoy feeling that only truly terrible being have) *ahem* of course its bad, its worse that that though, its diabolical.

( Kantash rockets through the floor, he then hovers above the floor)
Kantash: dear captain, i've got somthing for you....

Jarlot: what is it?

Kantash: your going on holiday with me, wont that be nice?

Jarlot: where?

Kantash: back to my masters ... for a thousand years, your going to endure the greatest agony. greater than even i had

Sa'vor: *ahem*

Kantash: yes?

Sa'vor: i believe i got here first, so that means my tourture is before yours.

Kantash: but when he's like you he'll be more resistant to the pain

Sa'vor: yes but if you whent first he wouldnt be able to expierence the pain i'll inflict

Kantash: true... perhaps we can sort this out in the usual way ...

Sa'vor: so be it!

Jarlot: YES! A DUEL !

Sa'vor: dont be stupid...

Kantash: then you could finish us off ...

Sa'vor: we're having...

Kantash and Sa'vor: a Thumb war !

Jarlot: youre joking right ?

Sa'vor: no, its traditional

Igor: yeth, it ith mathter Jarlot, itth traditonal for evil villainth to have thumb warth instead of duelling

Jarlot: your messing with me

Igor: no really

Sa'vor: we're doing nothing of the sort, oh and if your try and run. slip will kill you before you can get out of the door
Rei32491

04-30-06, 04:29 PM		Several thousand Crystals flee from Sa'vor's rampaging, failing to notice a very pleased looking Nalfien in a side corridor.

Nalfien: 3...2...1...

*Explosion of Biblical Proportions*

Nalfien: (to the remaining, now freaked out Crystals) Four dozen 2nd Edition Delayed Blast Fireballs, biatches! :evillaugh
Kaizer_Ryu

04-30-06, 04:55 PM		I'm curious. What do we do in regards to the upgrade or whatever that's going on between May 1st and 15th? Anything we post between then will be lost. Any ideas/suggestions?
Charles Phipps

04-30-06, 04:59 PM		OOC: Just a clarification. Jarlot has some peculiarities to his personality that are sort of missed. For one, he's simply incapable of normal and rational human fear. This is the man who deliberately went into Quori just to impress a girl and utterly and completely was unphased by Xoriat's demonic nutteries (in fact, the craziness of it drove him so around the bend he went sane again). Beyond normal paladin abilities (and Holy Liberator fear immunity), beyond utter blind unwillingness to see danger, beyond any sense of self preservation is the Captain's mind numbingly idiotic belief he's the hero of this piece bound to end up with the girl and the gold in the end plus his own kingdom.

Feel free to state otherwise but I always felt this was a funny part of him.

IC:

Jarlot: *looks up at the DM's description* Say WHAT?

Kanatash: I think he's really overselling you.

Jarlot: I confess that I was playing the idea the Crystals had driven me crazy as well.

Sav'or: I remind you guys I am an EVIL BEYOND TIME AND SPACE....I think I can scare a piddling Captain.

Jarlot: Alright, do your worse.

Sav'or: A thousand years of torture to start?

Jarlot: Will Tifa be there?

Sav'or: No.

Jarlot: Then pfft.

Sav'or: What do you mean pfft?

Jarlot: I mean pfft. There will be a thousand years of torture, a lot of angst and brooding, some revenge drama then ultimately you guys will end up dead.

Sav'or: Or you'll break!

Jarlot: That wouldn't suit my...my....

Igor: Idiom sir?

Jarlot: Thank you Concord.

Sav'or: REAL LIFE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

Jarlot: Well thank goodness I'm an Epic Level then.

Sav'or: You are not Epic Level.

Jarlot: Yes I am, see my character sheet.

Sav'or: You stenciled that in!

Jarlot: Well its been approved so nyah.

Sav'or: You are the worst pirate I have ever heard of!

Jarlot: But you HAVE heard of me.

xxxx) I am not Captain Jack Sparrow.
xxxx) Or Sir Lancelot.
xxxx) The crew is making me specify this.
Charles Phipps

04-30-06, 05:01 PM		OOC: Well the best option might be to find someone willing to copy every page into one titanic folder....

Or better yet assign portions of pages to people who volunteer and then have them all sent to one location where they can be compiled and winzipped for download.
urial angel of death

04-30-06, 06:01 PM		OOC: everything from before May1 will still be here. It's just what is posted between May1 and May 15 that will be erased.

IC: Volrath gazing at Caralot. Nalfien walks up behind Volrath.
Volrath : Dddaaaa :drool:
Nalfien : Boo!
Volrath : (turning around, very startled) Don't sneak up on me, while I'm thinking.
Nalfien : "Thinking"? Sure you were.
Volrath : Okay fine maybe I was looking at her. She's just beautiful. Her face is...
Nalfien : (raises eye-brow) Face? Man, your eyes were six inches south of that.
Volrath : Oh, shutup! :mad:
Volrath stomps off. Nalfien then then sits down, where Volrath used to be, and begins sizing up another group of crystals.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-30-06, 06:44 PM		OOC: We have a few options as far as I can see.

1: We stop posting. This one is no fun, so scratch that.
2: One or more of us saves the contents of the thread and then reposts it under Quotes or something afterward. This might be confusing afterward, but it seems the most feasible of the options know are possible.
3: We all save our own posts and then repost them after the upgrade. This one would be quite difficult to organize.

The only other option I see would be a version of #2. If one of us could save the posts under their original names, kind of a version of the snapshot WotC is doing, it could then be restored to it's original condition. I have no idea if this is even possible for any of us. One more thing to keep in mind. As far as I can tell, it will happen at midnight Eastern Time.
urial angel of death

04-30-06, 07:03 PM		OOC: Lisa never did figure out where Terra got those flowers from, did she? Also has there been closer for Lisa's relationship problems yet?
Charles Phipps

04-30-06, 07:11 PM		OOC: Lisa never did figure out where Terra got those flowers from, did she? Also has there been closer for Lisa's relationship problems yet?

Salicious gossip abounds that she's gone all the way with both of them. That may just be Ketler though.

But yes, Lisa is in fact bi.

Whether she's in love or cares for either is another matter entirely.

Doog has further been "outed" to Michael.
Kaizer_Ryu

04-30-06, 08:09 PM		After a particularly hectic night spent trying to get drunk while simultaniously avoiding the Crystals, Michael awakens in Doog's room. Still reeling from the horrendous hangover, it takes him a moment to tell what the weight on his chest is.

Michael: The hell?!

Doog: Zzzzz...*snork*...Michael...

Michael jumps up, confused and horrified. Doog sits up, holding his head.

Michael: (to himself) Ok, ok. Calm down. You just passed out. Nothing happened. Or did it? Damn hangover! I remember running away from a bunch of those creepy things that are chasing Kanatash, but...

Doog: (rubbing his temples) Oh, man, my head... *looks up* Michael? What are you doing here?

Michael: NOTHING! NOTHING HAPPENED! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! STOP ACCUSING ME!!!

To Doog's confusion, Michael runs out of the room in a panic, completely oblivious to the forms hidden in the shadows of a side corridor.

Terra: Oh, this is worth some serious blackmail points. I'll have to thank Norbaz for the amnesia dust and the image crystals.

Volrath: So, did they really...?

Terra: :devil: No. But they don't know that. Neither does anyone else who actually cares. :evillaugh
urial angel of death

04-30-06, 08:52 PM		Volrath wanders back into his room laughing, because of Micheal's situation and a few too many freshly pickled "tongue of redshirt". He falls ontop his bed and drifts into sleep. He sees that he is now in a field of blinding white. In front of him floats a woman in her mid twenties. Snaking out of her back are tendrils that glow a faint blue, they such a patern to suggest angelic wings. Her look is both one of love and one of sadness.
Volrath : (tears streaming from his eyes) Mom, You're here!:weep:
Woman : I've always been with you.
Volrath : No, those horrible humans took you away.
Woman : Please fogive them. Remember what I thought you, the gods are always giding us in the right direction.
Volrath : What did they ever do for us.
Woman : They gave us a wonerful family, remeber your sister and father.
Volrath :...
Woman : Your father will never forgive them, it is his destiny to be repeated every time reality is. But as long as you have some mortal essence in you, your fate is up to you.

OOC: To pickle something you dip it in pure alchol
SilvercatMoonpaw

04-30-06, 09:32 PM		Crow: Do you think it was a good idea to tell Kantash that Jarlot let Crystal onto the ship?

Silver: :devil:

Crow: You’re right. What was I thinking? We’re random.

Silver: So what are we commentating on this time?

Crow: Actually, our space is going to be used to introduce Caralot.

Silver: And not the psycho one.
***
Caralot (formerly d/Lyrandar)
Hermaphrodite half-elf female
Ultimate Transmuter (Shifter career) [look it up on the class threads yourself] 20

Caralot comes from an alternate Eberron in which a disease drove the armies of the Five Nations to slaughter themselves, then transformed almost everyone in Cyre into “monstrous” creatures. These events were apparently caused by something called the Black Water, which rises up from Khyber and has deific transformative powers. Naturally this Eberron developed a fascination with alteration magic and eventually genetics. Caralot was part of an exchange program with House Vidalis. While there she witnessed first hand the process of creating new animals. She decided to study the magic of transmutation, eventually completing an advanced degree in Beastial Engineering from Arcanix. Her thesis was a combination of mind flayer and beholder, which failed spectacularly. However, Arcanix gave her the degree so long as she promised never to come back. Caralot has a freaky history of crossbreeds, and has amassed a great collection of knowledge on the interactions of blood in said crossbreeds, that got her thrown out of every magical organization on Eberron, and even her family stripped her of her name. Finally all she could do was take a job at House Vidalis “collecting samples”, which she likes doing way too much. While on assignment she stumbled through a portal and ended up on the Forgotten Freedom.

Sort of like a Ketler for genetics, Caralot was given a small space aboard the ship. She pays for her room and board by enhancing hired redshirts and creating new kinds of redshirt. She also frequently comments on how the crew could use some “enhancements”. When they find out that her own “enhancement” is distinctly male they mostly decline. Caralot has records—even a few films—detailing her observations during breeding experiments. Some crew see this as the dragon’s hoard of male fascination, and make frequent attempts to access it. What they don’t know is that even Kantash doesn’t want to look at these things.

Caralot also takes care of her own Crystal:
Crys 15 HD Sacrine-Sweet Girl [Abberration]

Caralot has altered Crystal to serve as a guard for her records, for the good of the crew. It’s much better if they get nauseous from Crys than see the records.

5320: Caralot is not allowed to tell the story featuring Jaela and something called a “turkey baster”.
5321: Not even if the crew pays and the captian gets a cut.
5322: Because Lisa will kill us, paladin’s code be d*mn*d.
5323: Caralot is not allowed to give out “enhancements” to crew members who are not redshirts.
5324: Because Michael did not like Doog better with those kinds of enchancements.
5325: Crew members are forbidden from participating in “breeding experiments” conducted by Caralot.
5326: Because I mentioned them in front of Michael, and he went all still and whimpered.
5327: Caralot is prohibited from trying to collect “samples” from Kithle.
5328: I don’t care if he is “a prime specimen”.
5329: What is it with Caralots and Kithle?
5330: Crew are prohibited from making fun of Caralot’s name in front of Roosevelt.
5331: Unless you enjoy the feeling of stumbling around on an uneven deck.
5332: Caralot is not allowed to encourage Klaz “because it is the perfect opportunity to watch a breeding experiment in the wild”.
5333: It is wrong to tell the warforged that Caralot wants to collect a “sample” from him.
5334: She was able to do WHAT?
5335: Just because Caralot can now enhance me with ninja powers does not mean that I will become Batman.
5336: Saberiel (the Half-Nymph Succubus who supposedly tempted Michael to evil) is excused from following #5325.
5337: Aeirith is also excused.
5338: No, you may not ask why.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-01-06, 01:33 AM		Terra and Lisa are on deck. Terra is trying to teach Lisa how to play poker and failing miserably (Lisa's game face is terrible and she can't bluff to save her life) as Michael walks up.

Michael: Hey, poker! I rule at this game! If you want I could-

At this moment a soft *ting* is heard. Michael and Lisa look at the table and see an image crystal has fallen out of Terra's sleeve.

Terra: (feigning an accident) Oops. Sorry about that. You were saying?

Michael: :eek: I-I-I...um...uh...n-nevermind...

Michael backs off and leaves in a hurry, quite obviously shaken.

Lisa: What was that all about? What's on the crystal?

Terra: :D Oh, nothing...
Kaizer_Ryu

05-01-06, 02:34 AM		Caralot: :bigeyes: C'mon, PLEEEEASE!

Terra: Well, since you're not psycho-b**ch anymore and the Captain hasn't forbidden it, I guess it's ok.

Tifa: (walking by) My game's better...

Terra: *twitch*

Terra opens a pocket demension, and one of the Demon Chocobos steps out.

Caralot: *girly squeal* :inlove: Oh, isn't he just the cutest thing! Can I pet him?

Giant Demonic Chocobo: WAAAARK!!!

Terra: That was a yes, so long as you don't try to collect any samples.

Caralot: (disappointed) Ok...

Just then, a group of six Crystals runs up, screaming about the pretty birdie.

Crystals: OMG, IT'S, LIKE, SOOOO AWESOME! I, LIKE, SO TOTALLY WANT ONE!

GDC: WAAAARK!!!!

Terra: Oh, please, by all means. Caralot, you may want to step back.

Caralot: (currently torn between cuddling the Chocobo or the Crystals) What? Why?

The Chocobo opens it's mouth and unleashes it's acid breath weapon, melting the Crystals into pools of abnoxious goo.

Crystals: ISN'T IT JUST THE COOLEST BIRDIE EVER!!! HE'S, LIKE, KILLING US!!! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!!

Caralot: NNOOOOOOO!!!!!! :weep:

Terra: Oh, come on! How many gazillion of those things are there? Don't you have one of your own, even?

Caralot: :weep:
rampant

05-01-06, 07:52 AM		A beach on argonessen.

Kithle - (relaxing on a lounge chair using skulls with umbrelas in them to drink lemonade) this is the life, i need to set up a house here. Finally get that statue on display and out of my closet where i stub something on it everyday before breakfast.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-01-06, 08:20 AM		Crow: It's way too tempting.

Silver: But Kithle seriously deserves to relax on his vacation.

Crow: Yeah. I doubt any horrors released from Argonessen would garner a place in the history books around here.

Silver: Can you think of anything other than a dragon?

Crow: A swarm of hoard beetles.

Silver: Hoard beetles?

Crow: You know, those scarabs that look like gold coins and clean dragons' scales because they can't eat through the tough hide but can burrow into a humanoid body and eat their way through.

Silver: We are way too good at this.

Crow: Well I'm the god of death on another world. I have to know all the myriad ways there are to die.

Silver: Speaking of death, has Andrea given any indication that she knows what was in the letter from Norbaz.

Crow: I don't think so.

Silver: You know, it's been bugging me, but why did Andrea turn her cat neko?

Crow: I don't know, but we can check. It's on page number 42.

Silver: Hmm, doesn't say.

Crow: What were you thinking?

Silver: Well, you know how she reacts to Terra…

Crow: I doubt Andrea is that perverted. Contrary to popular stereotype, it's not a class feature of necromancers. Trust me, I grant spells.

Silver: And she was the only one to keep listening when Caralot described her male "enhancement".

Crow: You gods of life are always thinking about :censored:.
rampant

05-01-06, 08:58 AM		Satnak - Kithle left me with explicit instructions to maul anyone who messed with argonessen while he's there.

Silver - when did she get sneaky?

Crow - Why do you listen to him? could the big bad satnak have a crush?

Satnak - HOhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha h (grabs bird by neck) oh thats so funny i might just you live. Kithle isn't exactly the worst example of a male i've ever seen but frankly he's too creepy, and plus i need a mate who can survive a solid thrashing i kick in my sleep. I listen because he knows what he's doing, and because its either follow him or jarlot on this tub and I have not interest in leadership. (grip tightens)

Crow - Squar... (grip tightens again)

Silver - ok maam just put my friend down and we'll cause mayhem elswhere... plz

Satnak - Ok, bye (kicks silver in balls and leaves)

Silver - whimper

Crow - its not like you lost anything that you can't grow back

Silver - thats what scares me if i grow it back she can kick it again
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-01-06, 10:15 AM		Crow: Do you think she knows that in addition to not feeling pain we don't even exist?

Silver: Or that, as a female, I don't have anything remotely painful to kick.

Crow: We'd already decided not to mess with Kithle.

Silver: We get no love.

Crow: Well we do get to serve as convenient explainers of vital plot points.

Silver: By the way, did you have to ask that "Does wittle Satnak have a crush?" thing?

Crow: :evillaugh

Silver: One of these days I'm going to try and figure out why we ask those question when we always know the answer.

Crow: It's not even like I'm a god of love.

Silver: That's my department.

Crow: Besides, if anyone is going to go after Kithle it's going to be Caralot.

Silver: That was forbidden in the rules.

Crow: Darn.

Silver: Along with :behold:, :turkey:, and :coolcthul.

5339: Caralot is not allowed to collect "samples" from any member of the beholder family.
5340: Because I keep having nightmares.
5341: Caralot is not allowed to collect "samples" from the demon chochobos.
5342: Caralot is not allowed to collect "samples" from………GAAAAARRGH!

Jarlot: I thought you were into non-violence.

:coolcthul: Caralot and I have a special understanding.

Jarlot: Okay, OKAY!

5342 (revised): Caralot is not allowed to tell anyone ANYTHING about what she does with :coolcthul.
5343: Caralot is not allowed to tell anymore stories about Jaela.

Silver: What exactly did you do to Jaela?

Crow: :schemes:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-01-06, 11:21 AM		Doog walks down the hall, still unable to figure out what happened last night. Michael rounds the corner and stops when he sees Doog. After a long silence...

Michael: (nods his head) Doog.

Doog: (likewise) Michael.

After a few more akward moments, Michael turns to head back, but Doog calls after him.

Doog: Michael, wait! I've been thinking about last night, and-

Michael: Nothing happened, ok! We just...took a nap!

Doog: Then that was the best nap I've ever had! Didn't you like it, too?

Michael: No! Why would I?!

Doog: C'mon, admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!

Michael: (trying to look innocent) I...don't know what you're talking about...

Doog: *gasp* See, you did like it!

Michael: All right, all right! That was the best nap I ever had, ok!

Doog: I wanna do it again!

Michael: No!

Doog: (big teary anime eyes)

Michael: :gah: FOR THE LOVE OF KHYBER, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!
Havarel

05-01-06, 12:04 PM		Hi, long-time lerker also a great fan of this thread (one of my DM friends has threatened to give you all brutal deaths in the name of "all good DMs", which I find hilarious).

OOC: Well the best option might be to find someone willing to copy every page into one titanic folder....

I have a copy of all the character descriptions and adventures of this crew of reprobates up to about page 31 (note this does not include the rules) thrown into a word document. Anyone wants a copy of what I've got and I'll email it to them. I'll carry on and try to get as much as possible.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-01-06, 08:32 PM		Crow: :noway: Hey, no one's posting.

Silver: Are you sure you're using the right smiley?

Crow: There is no :lookabove: smilely. The closest thing is the lol.

Silver: And what we're talking about today isn't funny.

Crow: When is it ever not funny?

Silver: Michael and Doog. This is a serious issue.

Crow: The question is why Doog—mister self-proclaimed "trouser titan"—

Aljihaz: Doog is the trouser titan? That fiend!

Silver: Calm down, Aljihaz. Doog isn't the trouser titan.

Crow: Silver, it's wrong to lie. :angelhide

Silver: Since when have we ever done anything proactive.

Crow: Yeah. I finish that thought and who knows what'll come after us.

Aljihaz: Wait. I must know what the truth is. The trouser titan is responsible for the rapid expanding combustion of multiple post-birth beings.

Silver: :looloo: You've been hanging out with Reman, haven't you?

Crow: [Gratuitous Explanitor Note: Reman is the ship's lawyer.] And don't you think :uh-huh: would have been a better smilely to use.

Silver: Well what about when you used :schemes:?

Crow: I thought it looked better than :devil:.

Aljihaz: I must know where the trouser titan is!

Silver: Well what about :evillaugh:?

Crow: :devil: shows that what you are saying is intended as an evil joke. :evillaugh: shows that you have a future evil intent. In another vein, why does everyone use :coolcthul istead of just saying the things's name?

Silver: You know, we could extend that to other characters.

Crow: Like?

Silver: Well Crystal would be :invasion:. Aerith would be :cloud9:…

Aljihaz: :waits:
Crystalforged

05-01-06, 10:37 PM		OOC: I'm not sure exactly what this thing with loosing the posts over the next couple of days, I haven't seen any info on it anywhere but on this thread, but I have this post backed up on my home computer anyway. Anyone care to give me some more information on this or at least tell me where I can find it?



IC: The epic thumb war between Kanatash and Sa'vor rages on. The battle is brutal with numerous close calls on each side. Sa'vor brings to bare his superhuman strength and his cunning mind upon Kanatash while Kanatash counters Sa'vor's brawn with his equally, or perhaps even more, keen mind and an unpredictability that can only come from one so closely linked to Xoriat. The pitched battle continues and seems to be a stalemate, with neither side able to make any lasting gains until suddenly Kanatash's one minute per day of corporeality comes to an end and he returns to his incorporeal state.

Sa'vor: Ha! You are unable to continue, so I win by default.

Kanatash: Now just wait a second...

Sa'vor: If you wanted to make a provision for this you should have said so before we began.

Kanatash: Humph! (begins sulking)

Sa'vor: (rubbing his hands together) Now captain, I believe we have some business to attend to.

Jarlot: whimper...

Kanatash: (an evil smile suddenly spreading across his face) Just a moment, I just had an idea that could let us have the best of both worlds.

Sa'vor: I don't think so. You're not going to screw me out of this, I won fair and square.

Kanatash: Trust me, this is good.

Sa'vor: Give me one good reason why I should trust you.

Kanatash: If I screw you here you are sure to get Kithle and Satnak on you side and come to get payback. I may be crazy and an Uber but I know better than to take on three Ubers at once.

Sa'vor: (mulls it over for a moment) Alright, I'm curious, go ahead.

Kanatash: :devil: With pleasure.

Kanatash floats over to Jarlot, folds his hands together, and plunges them into Jarlot before bringing them apart. The effect this has on Jarlot can only be described as stretching. After a moment Jarlot spits into two separate Jarlots.

Jarlots: (in unison) What the **** did you just to me, him, us!

Sa'vor: Interesting. I variant of the Fission power, correct? Two independent bodies but one mind.

Kanatash: Exactly, I've argumented it to last for more or less exactly one thousand years. The best part however is that each body will independently suffer the pain we inflict but his mind will sense both at the same time.

Sa'vor: I like it. What do you suppose will happen when his two bodies recombine after I have turned one into a vampire and you have horribly mutated the other?

Kanatash: :devil: I don't know but I think I will enjoy finding out. Shall we begin then?

Jarlots: (desperate) Wait! You can't just leave the ship without a captain for a thousand years.

Sa'vor: He has a point. Without the captain and two of us Ubers the crew and anybody else ticked off at us is sure to rip tub apart.

Kanatash: I think I have a solution to that. (tosses a small stone to Sa'vor) This is a device that will create a time dilation effect. While we spend a millenium having our fun only a few weeks will pass here.

Jarlots: (even more desperate) But you still can't leave the ship leaderless for that long!

Kanatash: (evilest smile of all) Well, since you insisted.

Kanatash opens up a small rip in space and a figure steps though it. He looks almost exactly like Jarlot except he is dressed entirely in black, has a cape, and is wearing a mask.

Kanatash: Sa'vor are you familiar with the concepts of alternate multi-universes?

Sa'vor: Passingly.

Kanatash: Basically there are an infinite number of parallel Eberrons connected to this one through Xoriat. Carlot is from one for example. This is a Jarlot from one of those universes.

Masked Jarlot: I am the Dark Knight.

Jarlots: YOU DIDN'T.

Kanatash: Actually I did.

Masked Jarlot: I AM BATMAN!

Sa'vor: That was low.

Kanatash: I know, but so was bringing Crystal on board.

Jarlots: (struggling against the combined supernatural powers of Kanatash and Sa'vor) I'LL SEE YOU BOTH KEELHAULED FOR THIS!

Kanatash: Of course you will, but it'll be worth it. Shall we?

Sa'vor: After you.

They both disappear through dimensional portals carrying a Jarlot apiece. While Bat-Jarlot begins running around the room holding his cape out behind him.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-01-06, 11:26 PM		OOC: The info was on a special link above the normal thread listings. Since the date has passed, I think they took it down. From what I remember, WotC is doing a major revamp of the site. They took a 'snapshot' of the boards as they were on what I assume to be May 1st at midnight Eastern Time. When May 15th (I don't remember if it was up till or through the 15th) rolls around (again I assume midnight ET), everything will be reset to the state they were on May 1st. Any changes to member profiles, new posts, etc will not be saved. Thus, we need to make sure we have some kind of backup. Hope that helps.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-02-06, 12:46 AM		OOC: So, you want to know where the flowers come from, do you... :evillaugh

IC:

Several new Redshirts are strutting around the lower decks with their crossbows in hand, assuming themselves to be safe now that Sa'vor is away.

Redshirt 1: Man, I can't believe it! Getting hired when that psycho vampire guy is gone. And the Captain is Batman now, too!

Redshirt 2: I know. Feels like we've got the devils luck or something.

Redshirt 3: Hey, guys. Check it out.

Further down the hall they see Terra leaning against the wall, holding a small basket and eating what appears to be an apple.

Redshirt 1: :love: Whoa...

Redshirt 2: See, I told you we were lucky! I'm gonna go talk to her...

Terra: *looking up* The new recruits, huh? Nice to meet you.

Redshirt 2: I...uh...we...uh...um...

Redshirt 3: (whispering) Dude, you suck at picking up women...

Terra: (smiling) Heh, you're wasting your time with that. I just came down to give you guys a little gift for surviving the first night. I bet you haven't eaten since yesterday.

She tosses them each a piece of fruit from the basket.

Redshirt 1: Wow, thanks! We were just wondering where we could scrounge up some food...

Terra: Well, enjoy. If you survive, maybe I'll see you again.

Terra walks down the hall, the three watching her as they eat.

Redshirt 2: Man, I can't believe I choked! *chomp*

Redshirt 1: Seriously, that was pathetic. *munch*

Redshirt 3: *swallow* This is really good...

Redshirt 2: Yeah, but I've got some serious heartburn all of a sudden...

Redshirt 3: You know...now that you mention it...

Redshirt 1: *ghaack*...*gurgle*...*choke*

Redshirt 2: Holy crap, are you ok!

Blood starts pouring out his mouth as he clutches desperately at his throat. The other two try to help him, but are soon in the same predicament. After much convulsing, Redshirt 1's stomach explodes as a bush full of deep red flowers bursts out of him. The other two are barely able to take in what happened before the same fate befalls them. Moments later, Terra returns to the scene with Allen approaching from the other side of the hall.

Allen: Awww, man! That makes it 25 to 18! I really need to pick up the pace...

Terra: (picking the flowers) Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. Most of the new recruits are on the lookout for vampiric attacks. I'd say you're doing quite well, considering.

Allen: But still...I thought there was supposed to be some kind of test as a pretext for all the senseless slaughter. Sa'vor kept them on thier toes, and that's what I'm doing in his stead. I just can't figure out what you're up to...

Terra: I call it: The Test of Gullibility. :devil:
Charles Phipps

05-02-06, 01:36 AM		OOC: Well I warned you guys....he doesn't whimper.

A few weeks later

*A portal opens to the nether reaches*

Jarlot: AWESOME!

Jarlot 2: BEST VACATION EVER!

Kanatash: But....

Savor: That's not possible.

Kanatash: You too?

Savor: What did you use?

Kanatash: For a start I stripped him of all worldly possessions and then left him naked in the bowels of Xoriat to do be feasted upon by the larvae that existed there slowly and unearthily devoured while leaving only a Ring of Regeneration that he'd eventually pull off to beg for death....

Savor: Sounds promising....

Jarlot 1: So awesome. I had to use my BARE HANDS to kill all the larvae and they're +1/10 so they were like ten times harder to kill!

Kanatash: Eventually, I returned to find he was waiting for them to hatch because he said "I no longer get EXP for killing for them." This despite they had bitten him several thousand times.

Jarlot 1: So its a little hit point loss. I never got past death's door.

Savor: My initial plan was to stick him in a burning cauldron of boiling flaming lava in the Elemental plane of Fire. I made him a para-elemental with all the pain but none of the permanent damage with my powers then had him swim through it.

Kanatash: What happened?

Savor: He stopped screaming eventually after swimming for Elementals to kill. He said his save had gotten up.

Jarlot 2: Part of the fun was taking a prestige in Elemental Plane crawler.

Kanatash: I tried the old Prometheus trick next.

Savor: What happened there?

Kanatash: I don't get it. I couldn't keep him locked up for more than ten minutes.

Jarlot 1: Duh, I took ten on undoing the locks.

Kanatash: THERE WERE NO LOCKS!

Jarlot 2: Best part of the torment though....

Jarlot 1: Shelvaresh....

Jarlot 2: World's Biggest Damn Dungeon EAT YOUR HEART OUT.

Jarlot 1: That's nothing. I cleaned out the Tomb of Horrors.

Jarlot 2: Nerfshavit.

Kanatash: I thought I'd seek professional help from Zhengyi.

Jarlot 1: No seriously. They kept on killing me every step of the way but the fact Kanatash kept bringing me back made it perfect. The only problem were the damn level draining monsters. Sweet phat loot though.

Jarlot 1: I must admit that my favorite part was the Vault of the Spider Queens where Savor threw me into the succubus pit.

Kanatash: You did what?

Savor: You remember that old tale from the Eldeen Reaches about the Briar Patch and the Hare?

Kanatash: No.

Savor: Neither had I. When he begged me not to toss him to the succubi....you have to admit, I wasn't thinking too clearly.

Kanatash: I had him chewed on by Khyber herself.

Jarlot 1: Well that was a mistake. Mom was really ****ed.

Savor: Mom?

Kanatash: Let's just say after this excursion...I'M doubting my sanity at this point. Jarlot inhabits a weird world of eldritch concepts like levels and saving throws that render him unable to be causally affected by normal concepts. I'm going to have to go beyond normal 4 dimensional thinking in order to come up with a way to end this.

*Jarlot and Jarlot merge*

Jarlot: No, first we've got to do this again.

Savor and Kanatash: NO!

Jarlot: Oh fine. I'm going to go give everyone their presents.

*hoists bag of holding over his shoulder*

Jarlot: Aerith will have to sleep with me if I give her a Major Artifact. That's like in the rulebook.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-02-06, 02:13 AM		OOC: That was awesome! I can totally see it happening too. I'm just kind of disappointed we won't be able to do more with the whole Batman-Jarlot thing... :plotting: Or will we... :evillaugh

EDIT: You know, when going back through the list, I noticed that rule # 11 actually fits Terra quite well. Go figure. :devil:
urial angel of death

05-02-06, 07:26 AM		Stupid begins searching for a heart, from a "wizard", he believe its will make him smart again. So he ends up asking every mage on border for on. Here are the responses.
Andrea : ( acting kind of loopy ) Heart? Norbaz has mine. :cloud9:
Norbaz : :mymy: Really I got to go see her
Nalfien : Volrath borrowed my last one.
Volrath : Ate it.
Terra : Sorry, sold all of mine to Allen.
Allen : Ate it.
Sa'vor : *Grumble* (holds up hand and blasts stupid away.)
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-02-06, 07:46 AM		OOC: OOOOOHHHHHHH!!! I so want to post a commentary on Batman and Jarlot's D&D knowledge, but if I save it and then post it later at the wrong time it won't make sense.

And I wish I'd thought of the alternate Jarlot who was Batman. I came up with the alternate universe thing, I really should have thought of it. :raincloud
Crystalforged

05-02-06, 09:06 AM		Kanatash: Well that was a bust.

Sa'vor: I know. You do realize we still have to get him back for the thing with Crystal?

Kanatash: Of course, we just need another way to go about it.

Sa'vor: How though, how can we make him suffer the way we have?

Kanatash: Well to start with I think I'll let Bat-Jarlot hang around for a while.

Sa'vor: That's a good start and we're already sabotaging any attempts he may make at world domination. However I think we still need something else too. Hmmm...

Kanatash: :lightbulb :schemes: Well... It's really, reeeeeeaaaly low but we could "take care of things" to make sure that he never manages to hook up with Aerith.

Sa'vor: THAT, is evil beyond words. I like it...
Charles Phipps

05-02-06, 07:32 PM		BatJarlot's Rules starting at 0

0000) I am the Night, I am the Captain....not the other guy.
0001) Kanatash is now forced to wear a purple suit with a large flower and white makeup. He also must ridiculously giggle.
0002) Savor must now wear a Scarecrow outfit.
0003) Terra is to dress in leaves and be an eco-terro....well she doesn't need much changing.
0004) Slip will now wear a little yellow outfit with an "R" on it.
0005) You can proceed to contact me via the searchlight to the side of my cabin.
0006) Or the Red Telephone.
0007) Marish doesn't need changing but must carry a whip now.
0008) NOT FOR THAT REASON...
0009) Well maybe actually.
0010) Andrea must talk about her evil world conquering father while dressing in a catsuit and calling me "Beloved."
0011) Doog must scale up and call himself 'Croc'
0012) Lisa shall be one of the few to get her own Bat costume.
0013) Igor will train with Henry Higgins to get an English accent.
0014) To help maintain my secret identity as a billionaire, I am confiscating everyone else's shares.
0015) Stupid will be dressed in a Mexican wrestler's mask and called Bane.
0016) Despite temptations, we will NOT throw a bottle of battery acid in Michael's face to make him Two Face.
0017) Ketler can STOP wearing his question mark covered outfit, we get who he wants to be.
0018) Keel Hauling will be replaced by a sound thrashing and Jarlotarangs.
0019) You shall not interrupt the Captain when he broods.
0020) You shall not point out that both my parents are still alive and not gunned down in a filthy alley.
0021) You will not mention Superjarlot and how he could kick my ass.
0022) Aerith will be referred to as "Vicky Vale" my lovable photographer girlfriend.
0023) Tifa will be referred to as "Lady Shiva", mistress of martial arts...also a girlfriend.
0024) Why? Becase I'm a billionaire and a superhero.
0025) You shall promptly add "Bat" to every device's name onboard the ship. This is now the BatForgotten Freedom.
0026) I am designating the Hold I dump you scurvy rats into when you misbehave as "Arkham"
0027) Arkham is doubly funny because I've imprisoned :coolcthul
0028) Yes, I'm Batman.
0029) My quarters shall now be referred to as 'The Jarlot cave.'
0030) I'm Batman.
0031) I did indeed study to be the best at Everything....
0032) Yes, this includes Dance Dance Revolution.
0033) I'm Batman.
0034) All my entrances will be accompanied by huge sweeping scores or at the very least a nah nah nah nah nah sound.
0035) I'm Batman.
0036) You are forbidden to shout "WE KNOW" everytime I do that.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-02-06, 07:37 PM		Crow: Kantash, Sa'vor, we can help with that idea.

Kantash: Ah, friend Crow who informed me of who let Crystal aboard. Though you have repeatedly stated that your actions are always random and without any thought of consequence, we shall hear what you have to say.

Silver: Do you know what Aerith does with her off time?

Sa'vor: The dual mind of mortal/angel means it is almost impossible to be sure at any one time. Plus I wouldn't want to tangle with Aerith, even though I could defeat her.

Crow: It's more like who.

Sa'vor: Who what?

Kantash: "Do you know who Aerith does with her off time?"

Sa'vor and Kantash exchange looks.

Silver: What is it about all the females on this ship?

Sa'vor: It was in the rules.

Kantash: But that's not enough to break Jarlot.

Crow: It is if you break into Caralot's records.

Silver: You saw them once, Kantash.

Kantash shudders.

Kantash: She is overqualified to be a daelkyr. And she was doing it "all-natural".

Crow: It's what you would suspect when an angel and a demon get together.

Silver: Especially when you have a demon.

Crow: Who's a succubus.

Silver: Caralot takes coptious notes.

Crow: And joins in.

Silver: But we've got to go now.

Crow: We have to prepare to leave.

Kantash: You're leav—

Silver and Crow aren't there anymore.
Charles Phipps

05-02-06, 08:25 PM		Jarlot: That's it....you...off my ship.

Batjarlot: I'm Batman.

Jarlot: And I'm Epic Level.

*Jarlot pulls out BIGGGGGGGG ASSSSSSSS sword*

*BatJarlot pulls out BatJarlot spray*

BatJarlot: I thought you forbid those.

Jarlot: Being the Captain has the benefit of being able to ignore the rules as you desire.

Batjarlot: I'm Batman.

Jarlot: YES...I KNOW.

Batjarlot: I've already put down a mutiny.

Jarlot: By WHOM?

Doog: *underneath the feet of Batjarlot* Geddisguyoffofme.

Jarlot: Oh Doog doesn't COUNT! He's not even double digit levels!

Batjarlot: Crimminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot.

Jarlot: Alright DerFleudermouse. Let's dance.
Charles Phipps

05-02-06, 10:01 PM		Girls Night Out

Aerith: Gin!

Terra: We're playing Poker.

Aerith: Oh! Then four aces.

Terra: ....you know, I know you're cheating somehow.

Tifa: When Jarlot rules over the Earth there won't BE gambling! Instead we will all work ETERNALLY for his glory!

Terra: How did she...you know...get like this?

Aerith: She grew up in Jarlot's neighborhood as a child. The violence and insanity of hanging around him drove her quite mad at an early age.

Tifa: I need no support from others! I have my emergency ration supply!

*Tifa lifts up a border collie*

Tifa: Aren't you a good Menchi? Yes you are...WITH HOT SAUCE!

Terra: Put....the...Dog...Down.

Tifa: NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY FOOD! GET YOUR OWN WEIRD VEGETARIAN LADY!

Aerith: She's just a bit sensetive having been formally part wolf.

Lisa: Hold up, I'm calculating my winnings and balancing my tithing from them.....

Aerith: You're really dilligent at that.

Lisa: Don't you tithe?

Aerith: Funny, as a priestess you think I should be required to.

*slurps her diet soda*

Terra: Sooooo could someone explain the whole relationship dynamics of this place?

Andrea: Hold up, I'm trying to re-animate this rat non-magically.

Aerith: Why?

Andrea: A bet with Ketler.

*smell of electrified rat fills the room*

Andrea: Damnit.

Terra: But yes, I'd like to know whose been with who, where, and with what. It's kind of ridiculous figuring out all the implications here.

Aerith: Like I'm sleeping with Kanatash?

Andrea: The only woman that Kanatash might like is American McGee's Alice. Kudos if she has the dull vacant "I'm holding a rusty blade" look of psychosis.

Aerith: Even that might be too normal.

Terra: I also thought you were with the Big C too.

Aerith: Alas, we're just friends. We're not anatomically compatable sadly.

Lisa: Well....I'm...uhh...

Terra: I find it amazing she can't actually say it.

Andrea: Trust me, we can hear.

Marish: *by the poker table, wagging her tail* I like being nearby! It makes me feel ALLLL special.

Andrea: Well suffice to say, Tifa's bisexual but loves Jarlot...and ONLY Jarlot....though I question if they're relationship was ever consumated...

Tifa: It was! He may have been extraordinarily drunk at the time but it was the best ten minutes of my life!

Andrea: So I wouldn't put her beyond denial. I happen to be quite proud of my joint attraction...

Aerith: Mmm hmm.

Andrea: And I've held down several serious relationships. King Kaius, Queen Aurala...

Terra: Really?

Andrea: Yes, I happen to be a Lady of the Courts unlike the majority of your provincials....

Terra: *eyes darken* Provincials?

Marish: That means peasants!

Andrea: Have some yarn dear.

Marish: YAY!

*bounces around in the string*

Andrea: I once lowered myself to a relationship with the Captain but suffice to say we proved from two different worlds.

Lisa: Good and Evil?

Andrea: No, actually he constantly made me dress up in a pink dress and sell flowers with a ribbon in my hair. Obviously, this is unrelated to a certain passenger because I am far too wonderful to be slighted in such a way.

Lisa: Then there's Doog's crush on Michael. You think...

Andrea: Sadly, for all of Michael's open mindedness....straight as an arrow.

Aerith: Well I'm between relationships now.

Terra: I thought you did like Jarlot?

Aerith: Oh I do.

Tifa: *****.

Aerith: It's just that well...you know what happens if Jarlot truly gets unconditionally happy.

Terra: Did we switch to Angel at some point?

Aerith: Well...boom.
rampant

05-02-06, 10:22 PM		Satnak - No wonder Kithle needed a vacation after dealing with you freaks.

jarlot & batjarlot - What are you doing?!

Satnak - Getting rid of a sick feeling in my gut. Die batboy *squish*.

Satnak proceeds to mash batjarlot to a fine paste and boil it.

Satnak - Plot device that *****. Now for you.

Jarlot - What I'm higher level than you now.

Satnak - So was floral dark *soulsucking zorch*. There back down to resonable levels.

Jarlot - Harpy
Kaizer_Ryu

05-02-06, 10:36 PM		OOC: I haven't done one in a while, so here's the second installment of Terra's backstory. Prepare to be depressed :(

IC:

As the poker game dies down, Lisa approaches Terra.

Lisa: I realized a little while ago that you still haven't told me what you saw in Volrath’s sister that reminded you of yourself.

Terra: Are you sure you want to know? I don’t claim to have had the worst childhood ever, but it still won’t be pleasant…

Lisa: Yeah…

Terra: All right…

(Start flashback)

Lisa sees only darkness as a feeling of disorientation grips Terra. Her head throbs intensely, and she can hear rain falling around her and a cold, wet sensation on her cheek as she lies there.

Terra: (mumbling weakly as she opens her eyes) mmmhm…?

Sitting up, she sees a muddy street in a backwater village. The few people around are running to get out of the rain, completely ignoring her. Looking down, the reflection in the water shows a little girl, very obviously scared and confused.

Lisa: What’s this?

Terra: My first memory…

Lisa: What do you mean? You’re at least eight, how can this be your first?

Terra: I don’t know. I woke up here with no knowledge of my past, how I got there, where I was, or even my own name…

Lisa: …

Terra gets up and heads for the overhang of a nearby building. She tries to scrape what mud she can off her tattered clothes, and then knocks on the door. A human woman opens the door. Upon seeing Terra, she swiftly closes the door in fear. Terra just stands there, dumbstruck, as she hears muffled voices from inside. A few minutes later, a man appears brandishing a shovel. Panicking, she runs away as fast as she can, slipping and falling into the mud repeatedly. She gets similar reactions from each house she tries. She finally takes shelter in an alley, shaking from fear and cold as she silently rocks back and forth.

Lisa: Why? Why would they do that to you?

Terra: In a moment. First let me show you something else.

Several days later, Terra is rummaging through the garbage behind a house when the owner bursts out the door with a scythe. Again, she takes off, losing the man in the maze of alleys. Her stomach ached from having only been able to eat scraps. Just then, a little girl about her age wandered up to her.

Girl: #&*%()#?

Lisa: Huh?

Terra: I didn’t speak Common at this time, only Elvish. I have no idea what she said, but it was the first time anyone had talked to me without anger or hate in their voice.

Terra looked at the girl, confused. When her stomach rumbled, the girl smiled and pulled out a cookie from her pocket and offered it to her. After a moment, Terra meekly reached out to accept it. At this time, what appeared to be the girls mother found them and pulled the girl away. The girl protested vehemently, but the woman would have none of it. Several adults came to check out the commotion, saw Terra, and began pelting her with rocks. Shielding her head, she fled back into the alley, now nursing several bruises and a bleeding forehead.

Terra: I couldn’t find anyone who understood me. The villagers avoided me, despised me for reasons I did not and could not understand. I spent what felt like an eternity simply trying to stay alive. In reality it was only about three months. Eventually, a pastor arrived at the village. He spoke Elvish, but what should have been my salvation turned into a nightmare.

Lisa sees an older man approach her, a look of anger and disgust on his face.

Pastor: Why do you linger here? Take your curse elsewhere, demon child!

Lisa: Demon...child?

Terra: I found out later that no one knew how I ended up in the street. It was a fairly small town, and the fact that nobody had seen or heard anything made them very anxious. I was deemed a bad omen, a bringer of ill fortune. I tried several times to get the pastor to understand my own confusion, but he refused to hear me out. He even tried to throw me to an angry mob once. I only escaped by biting his hand.

Lisa felt a wave of fear wash over her, and the next scene came into her mind. Terra was running along an alleyway, dodging between the refuse. Looking behind her, Lisa saw the villagers were chasing her with whatever makeshift weapons they could find. They screamed at her, and she didn’t have to understand them to know that they meant to harm her.

Terra: A storehouse had caught fire the day before, and they blamed me for it. I escaped only by diving over the edge of a hill at that end of town. I found a small cave there, obscured by brush, and hid in it till they stopped looking.

Night fell and Terra crept out of the cave. She made her way along the river bank which ran roughly parallel to the main road. She walked for what seemed like hours, hungry and tired. When she nearly felt she could go no further, she saw a camp fire up ahead. She slowly made her way towards it, hoping to find help. Around it, she saw what appeared to be bandits finishing their dinner.

She thought better of it and started to back away, only to step on a dry stick and alert them to her presence. They quickly leapt to their feet, pulling out their weapons. When she turned to run, a stabbing pain shot through her as an arrow struck her left shoulder. Lisa could hear Terra’s screaming as the pain blinded her. With what little sense she had left, Terra stumbled toward the river and jumped in to avoid them. Unfortunately, she didn’t know how to swim. She struggled in vain to keep her head above water, calling for help. After swallowing a lungful of water, she finally passed out.

An unknown amount of time later, she awoke to find herself lying in a soft, warm bed. The wound on her shoulder had been bandaged and felt nearly healed. A fireplace crackled nearby, an elven woman tending to it.

Elf woman: Oh, you’re awake! You must be starving. Dinner will be ready in a moment.

To Terra’s eyes, the woman gave her a feast. She ate ravenously, and swore that nothing had ever or would ever taste as heavenly again. When she finished, the woman set the plate aside and stroked Terra’s cheek.

Elf woman: Feel better now? (Terra nods sheepishly) …do you want to tell me what happened?

Terra just stared at the woman for the longest time. The weight of everything that had happened fell on her all at once. She reached over, buried her face in the woman’s cloak, and just cried.

(back in the present)

Terra: Her name was Gaia. She had found me washed up on the river bank about a week before, nearly dead. She is the one who adopted me, gave me my new name, and started training me as a Druid. Over time, she taught me Common. Our days were spent tending to the surrounding forest and her garden. She grew medicinal herbs and traded them with the local villages.

Lisa: What about the first village?

Terra: When I was about 17, I found out where that village was. What I did was something I regretted for the longest time…

Lisa: Which was…?

Terra: That village is now deserted. I had just begun to learn control over nature, and in a fit of rage, I lost control and unleashed a plague on the town. Smig would have enjoyed it. The sight of the villagers dying in droves has never really left me. Because of that mistake, I had no way of seeking information on how I got there or where I may have come from.

Lisa: That’s all you felt?!

Terra: The only reason I felt any guilt is that I had done something that Gaia would not have approved of. I never did tell her, but I think she knew. Though I didn’t originally intend to kill them, I certainly didn’t feel pity. I felt that those people got what they deserved.

Lisa: You killed an entire village because you thought they deserved it?!

Terra: What do you think the inquisitors do? Why did they try so fervently to destroy the lycanthropes? Because they thought they deserved it. Another example, why do you smite demons, fiends, and abberations?

Lisa: They are vile creatures of pure evil that must be destroyed!

Terra: In other words, because they deserve it. Not-Walter is classified as one of these "vile creatures", yet he only seeks to defend himself. You must realize the danger in such thinking. It took the deaths of at least a hundred people and several years for me to see it.
Charles Phipps

05-03-06, 05:49 AM		OOC: OOOOOHHHHHHH!!! I so want to post a commentary on Batman and Jarlot's D&D knowledge, but if I save it and then post it later at the wrong time it won't make sense.

Oooo please!
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-03-06, 08:27 AM		OOC: Because I want to create a much more interesting character.

IC:
Silver: Okay, people, this will be our farewell commentary.

Crow: Because when you work for a thing above gods, capreciousness is a job hazard. Today we think about Batman and D&D.

Silver: That's a scary concept.

Crow: Well there is a Vigilante prestige class.

Silver: Can you say completely zortched?

Crow: Truely. You have to witness the crime to smite someone? What's the fun in that? Give them the abiltiy to do the Batman Backhand.

Silver: I could be the ability to make attacks of opportunity while flatfooted.

Crow: And detect evil? You know what I'd do if I were using the insanity rules?

Silver: Require that all paladins have gone temporarily insane?

Crow: Permanetly insane. Just listen to Terra's stories. The inquisition goes after lycanthropes and demons because once you hit them with the right magic you know what they are. Try casting detect evil in your average village, and you'll be saying "Okay, wait a minute, do I have enough time to kill this many people."

Silver: Sentients in general are mean and nasty, and humans are usually the worst.

Crow: Jarlot's nice, if crazy.

Silver: How do Hit Points make sense? I mean, your average wound bleeds. If you get stuck with a sword in the stomach you can basically kiss your a** goodbye.

Crow: And you get "experience points" for killing things. Okay, yeah, sure. I can understand when it's Diplomating or breaking a trap. But when killing something? What, are experience points that primal feeling of release you get when you rip through a troll's neck so that it's weird colored blood spurts over your shiny armor?

Silver: That's all you gods of death think about.

Aljihaz: :headexplo For the love of the Dreaming Dark, Dal Quor, and psionics in general, TELL ME WHERE THE TROUSER TITAN IS!

Silver and Crow: WE DON'T KNOW!

Aljihaz: :eek:

Crow: At least Satnak got rid of BatJarlot.

Silver: Except that by the Narrative Element a joke of that magnitude can never be destroyed. But we got away because we don't resemble any Batman characters.

Crow: Actually, I think Igor liked having a British accent.

Silver: Jarlot does not seem like the type to be Batman. You know what no one seems to have done? Said Kaius was Batman. He can change into a bat.

Crow: Tacky joke. I'm sure it's in the rules.

Silver: Jarlot said something about "wealth per level" the other day.

Crow: Did Kithle hear?

Silver: Kithle hears everything. :devil: Lucky we don't exist, so therefore we don't have levels. At least, how do you know if you have levels?

Crow: We could go to Shelvaresh and kill some stuff.

Silver: Again with the death. You know, if we start to exist then we can die and THE VOICE can, to quote Jarlot, "roll up some new characters". I think it's a form of reincarnation. Only you start existing from that moment in time back.

Crow: Like Igor. Besides, THE VOICE would never allow us to exist. It'd just—

They vanish in a puff of never having existed.
Phantomcrossing

05-03-06, 03:50 PM		Norbaz sits in his secret room in the kitchen, filled with assassin gear. Sneaking Suits, crossbow bolts, crossbow winches, various types of bolts, numerous poisons, different types of knives...pointy knives...that burn with the hatred of a thousand - oh you get the picture. He sits at a small desk writing in a journal.

Nobaz: Cooky's log entry. Having no idea what Andrea's first hand response to my letter I am left with only one option, directly asking her. I've heard conflicting stories, and from what I can gather I may have a chance...I just need to get over my shyness and talk to her. As such, I am treating figuring out how to confront her as I would treat one of my usual jobs. I've spent the last few days casing her to get a feel for her routine and have devised the proper way to catch her off guard about the question. I just hope that in my usual interactions before this time nothing unfortunate happens. I will catch her in the evening outside her door as she is returning to her extradimensional magnificent mansion, ask the question, and hope to all things divine and demonic that this doesn't explode in my face...

At lunch time...

Many members of the crew are moving down the line getting thier trays filled with the usual selections. As per new mess hall policy, you need special permission signed by the captain to get the chili, and even then, few want to stand between Satnak and it. Norbaz and the usual crewmembers who get stuck with KP are dishing out the food, as Andrea crosses Norbaz's station with her tray.

Norbaz Internal monologue being thought very loudly: Don't choke, don't choke, don't say anything, don't say anything. Be cool. Calm down. Don't act like this is different from any other day.

Andrea: The Karnath blood pudding please.

Norbaz: Sure, so...uh, Iheardyougotmyletter.

Norbaz Internal monologue being thought very loudly: Crap! Crap! CRAP!

The necromancer calmly takes the tiny plate of pudding, quirks an eyebrow, and slowly walks to her table where a still in a full body cast Marish is sitting.

Andrea: You were right, he is a nervous wreck about it.
urial angel of death

05-03-06, 06:23 PM		Drifting through Terra’s memories Lisa hears sobbing. She hears it as though it were a great distance away. She tries to move toward it. This causes the scenery of Terra’s memories to become fuzzier and less distinct. When the memories are nothing but grey blurs, she sees Volrath crying.
Lisa: How did you get here, and what’s wrong?
Volrath: (wipes eyes) I *sniff* share an empathetic bond with Terra, and most other people I care about. When I sensed her sadness, from remembering *sniff* these things, I decided to come, and try to comfort her. She’s gone already, though isn’t she?
Lisa: Yes she is. You haven’t answered my question, yet?
Volrath: I always end up thinking about my past, when Terra *sniff* does. I know I should *sniffle* be over this, but…
Lisa: Don’t’ worry, it’s alright to be sad.
Volrath: Thanks, why don’t I show you more of the past?
Lisa: Alright, if you think that will help.
A scene of a village drifts into view. It zooms in on a small caravan. Inquisitionists are inspecting the cargo.
Volrath: My sister and I thought we could sneak out of town. We were wrong.
A sneeze comes from one of the boxes. The inquisitionists open it, to reveal an albino girl. They drag her out, and wicked grins cross their faces.
Volrath: It was pitiful. She didn’t even resist, despite the evil that would undoubtedly come next. It was so hard, to hold back the tears, that would have given me away.
The caravan sets out. Before long it is attacked by robed figures. After overwhelming the caravan, they begin opening the crates. Inside one of them, they find a trembling Volrath, the crawling gauntlet on his left arm flexing in anticipation.
Volrath: They were cultists. They thought I was some kind of reward, for their devotion. At least I think.
Lisa: Didn’t they tell you?
Volrath: They only spoke in daelkyr. The dialect I had learned, from my father, was much older than theirs. I could catch words and certain sentences, but not enough to communicate, meaningfully. They treated me good, gave me food, clean cloths, and anything else they could provide. All they asked in return was for me to perform some duties, as their deity’s proxy. Most of these duties revolved around the sacrifices. You probably would have found them down right vile, but I loved them. Especially that alter girl, but nothing came of it. It only lasted a year.
The cultists appear, being slaughtered by a group of adventurers. A stray bolas hit Volrath in the head. As he falls unconscious, the memory fades. The scene reappears, this time of Volrath waking in the middle of the adventurers’ camp. They are all standing around him. There is a wizard looking elf woman, a white robed dwarf, and two men in silver armor.
Volrath: They didn’t recognize me, for what I am, because my crawling gauntlet, Thing, had left while I was knocked out. They thought I was some brain-washed kid, and that they were rescuing me.
The adventurers pack up and begin to rest for the night. Volrath however remains active. He picks up a pair of bolas. Using the wire between them, he strangles the dwarf. The dwarf struggles and squirms, but is unable to release any cry for help, as he dies. Volrath tries to pick up the bolas again, but they are tangled in the dwarf’s beard. So he goes to one of the humans, and pulls the man’s sword, from its sheath. Hefting the sword, he plunges it into the man’s heart.
Lisa: How could you do that, to people who were trying to help you?!
Volrath: They killed people I cared about.
Lisa: Those cultists were horrible people!
Volrath: Does that stop you from loving, your blackguard sister?
Lisa: How do you know that?
Volrath: Kithle isn’t the only one, who can mind-probe. Anyways, back to the story.
The other man stands up, at his companion’s dying screams. The knight searches for his sword, but is grabbed around the neck, by a chitinous claw. Thing slashes the man’s throat, and then crawls over to its place on Volrath’s hand. The elf woman is looking at Volrath, a look of horror, on her face.
Volrath: Her look, of fear and horror, reminded me so much of my sister, that I couldn’t bring myself to kill. As she blasted magic at, all I could do was lift my hand in front of my face, as the energy rushed toward me. That was when my warlock powers manifested. A blast of eldritch energy shot out of my hand and took out a good portion of her torso. After I watched her fall, in a bloody heap, I sent out toward the horizon, wondering what would come next.
Crystalforged

05-03-06, 07:16 PM		Somewhere in the lower decks the past that used to be Bat-Jarlot stirs. It begins to shiver and ungulate until suddenly a hairy shoots out of the heap. It is quickly followed by the rest of the figure. This new individual looks much like Jarlot except he is dressed as a cowboy, hat, boots, spurs, and all. He rises from the remaining ooze and strikes a pose.

Cowboy-Jarlot: I AM CHUCK NORRIS.

Silver: See? I told you a joke of that magnitude can't just be destroyed. It simply mutates into something new.

Crow: Ok, you're right. You don't have to rub it in.

Satnak: (suddenly appearing on the scene) YOU! You're the one who made off with the chille when Norbaz was on vacation! I want it back, NOW!

Satnak attemps to zorch Chuck Jarlot but it seems to have no effect. Chuck Jarlot however returns the favor and knocks Satnak through a couple of decks and into next week with a roundhouse kick. To the face.
Charles Phipps

05-03-06, 07:24 PM		OOC: A meant to be serious. I've tried to keep Kanatash and Savor still very impressive. However, they being irredeemable ******s that they are, I think its important to use them also as the backdrop for 'true evil' onboard. I hope the creators don't mind.

Feel free to have anyone overhear or jump in.

IC:

Kanatash: Behold my latest creation....

Savor: Brilliant. It's a perfect reproduction of Jarlot and Aerith.

Kanatash: The pair of them will be inhabited by the darkest and vilest aspects of both their minds....

Savor: Aerith has a vile side?

Kanatash: Everyone has a vile side. A hidden face they keep to the world. In her I simply saw the person who resented being forced to be the lone light against a world doomed to entropy. I nurtured it.

Savor: And now we shall use them to shred the love between the two.

Kanatash: It will be beautiful.

Jarlot: You guys really take the cake you know that.

Savor: Apparently you can see the darkness beyond the edges of the universe and think in 8 dimensions but you can't remember to LOCK THE DOOR.

Kanatash: A minor matter. Yes Captain, I'm preparing further revenge for your Crystal bringing. For bringing me pain for a few moments I intend to draw out your agony and mortal weaknesses strand by strand, moment by moment, and slowly but irreversibly destroy you. Tell me my dear Captain what you most cherish so I can take it away from you. You poor, poor, deluded mortal.

Jarlot: You know Kanatash, I honestly had hoped you might learn something from your experiences here on the Forgotten Freedom but I keep seeing only further that I've wasted my time.

Kanatash: I've learned things you could not possibly begin to fathom. Things that would make your blood....

Jarlot: I don't care.

Kanatash: I beg your pardon?

Jarlot: If there's anything that I'd want any of the people who are Daelkyr, The children of Nyarlathotep, merged souls, creatures from dimensions untold, the persecuted children of cultists, and other dimensional self-styled bad guys on this ship to know.....it's I don't care.

Kanatash: How droll.

Jarlot: It's easy to destroy. It's easy to make something good and beautiful purile. You and all this ridiculous driving people mad and murdering them or driving them to suicide. Oooooo I'm going to destroy the love a person shares with another person. I'm going to make their lives ruinous. I've made this a home for the people who've had their lives ruined by people whom style themselves good and pure but have destroyed dreams. What I don't have the stomach for is people who think it gives them the right to do whatever they think because they think being a bully is that much more mysterious and cool.

Kanatash: With a snap of my fingers I could bring the Daelkyr upon this planet and destroy it less allow it a few more million years of life before we do?

Jarlot: Possibly. But in the end for all the great power you Daelkyr wield, you have not the ability to appreciate a good meal or what it means to lie with a woman. To read a really good book or listen to music. I'm not afraid of your kind and I don't see you as alien, just the worst lengths a human can go to and doing his best to stay there. It's what I think of the whole Illithid Empire there. You can rule ten thousand planets but can you say eating a bunch of brains while lording over slaves is worth a single moment of family.

Savor: Spoken like someone who comprehends little but thinks he comprehends much.

Jarlot: Whatever. I stared into the heart of Xoriat....Khyber...the Dreaming Dark. The gibbering five mouths of Tiamat that will sing the song that ends the world and found out I wasn't afraid. I exist in this moment and beyond pain, beyond torture, beyond hatred I have my own will to stand against whatever is to come.

Kanatash: We have an eternity to know your soul's capacity for agony Captain. Remember that.

Jarlot: And maybe just maybe....before I die....I can show you and all of the rest of the poor deluded fools whom you've convinced have no choice but to submit.....that there's nothing to fear at all. Then, maybe just maybe, I can wreck you all.

*he walks out*

Savor: The gall of that man is only matched by his stupidity.

Kanatash: There's forces at work on this ship that bear at least some investigation. I looked into his mind for a very long moment during this conversation and found out one thing that I will ponder on.

*Kanatash incinerates the doubles*

Savor: What's that?

Kanatash: There is no way to break his feelings. Even if he's afflicted with the most vile and utter hatred or betrayal....he will continue to love and hope. I am....disgusted.
Rei32491

05-03-06, 08:17 PM		Volrath is walking down to the library, while Nalfein is poking him.

Nalfein: Come on, give me the book.

Volrath: Hmm, how bout, NO!

Nalfein: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaasssssss!

Volrath: No.

Nalfein: Come on, comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncome oncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeon.

Volrath: NEVER! STOP ASKING!!!

Nalfein: Give it to me or I will torch you.

As he says this, the beginnings of a fire ball start to form in his hand.

Volrath: Don't you realize that if you torch me, you won't be able to find the book, remember, I am the only one on this plane who can find anything with my filing system.

Nalfein: ... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Nalfein finishes the fireball and prepairs to throw it. Just then, one of Volraths tentacles wraps around Nalfeins arm and bends it to Nalfein's other side.

Nalfein: AHGH!! OW! OH, SHAZBOT!! OH!!

The fireball explodes in his hand. Volrath take minor damage, but Nalfein appears unhurt.

Volrath: WTF!

Nalfein holds up his hand, it has a ring on it.

Nalfein: Ring of Fire Resistance, bit*h. :devil:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-03-06, 11:33 PM		OOC: Very nicely said, Charles Phipps. No wonder we like him. :D

IC:

Kithle: Where are you off to?

Terra: Just visiting an old friend of mine. I'll be back in about a day.

She morphs into bird form and heads off into the waning daylight.

(about an hour later)

Arriving at a largely forrested area, Terra returns to her normal form. An old cottage, suffering from years of neglect and decay, stands beneath the trees. A well kept garden grows nearby, contrasting with the surrounding foilage as seemingly the only thing showing recent activity. She heads over to it, checking on the items growing there. Several vegetable bushes are ripening, and Terra picks a tomato.

Terra: (taking a bite) Mmmm...perfect. I knew they'd be ready about now. Maybe I'll take some back with me.

Turning toward the house, she walks up to a simple stone marker in the ground at the base of a rather large tree.

Terra: (kneeling next to it) Even after all this time, your garden still grows the best produce I've ever had.

Terra clears away some of the overgrowth, revealing an inscription on the stone: "It is the nature of life to end, but do not accept death without a fight! Enjoy today as if that is all there is, but live for all the tomorrows you have yet to create."

Terra: I still don't fully understand your words, but I'm closer. I'm sorry for not visiting for so long...

Moving more of the foilage, a name appears on the stone: Gaia.

Terra: ...mother.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-04-06, 02:40 AM		A chilling voice calls out from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

???: (laughing derisively) Mother? You have spent too long here if you would call one of those pathetic creatures 'mother'.

Unable to sense where it is coming from, she strikes a defensive stance and continues to scan the area.

Terra: Who's there?! Show yourself!

???: (mockingly) You don't remember me? I feel so hurt...

Terra: Enough of your taunting! What do you want with me?

???: Since it seems you have forgotten, there is no need to tell you right now. To help you remember me next time, I give you this as a parting gift...

Several large Psionic blasts approach her from all sides. She is able to block most of them, but one manages to strike her full force. She is flung into the side of the house and the wall gives way. Getting up, she shakes her head, listening to the voice trail off as it laughs.

Terra: What the hell was that all about...?

A glint catches her eye. A purple crystal, about two inches in diameter, rests on the floor amidst the debris. It doesn't give off much of a magical aura, but something compells her to take it with her. Climbing out of the house, Terra prepares to leave.

Terra: I hate to go so suddenly, Mother, but it seems I have something to take care of...
rampant

05-04-06, 04:17 AM		Kithle - I am on vacation till the 16th remember that.
----------------

The bowels of the FF.

Cowboy Jarlot - I am Chuck Norris!!

Satnak - I watch waaaaaaaaaaay too much of Ketler's outworld anime!!

Cowboy Jarlot - WTF!??

Satnak - *Burning finger*

Satnaks glowing hand burns Cj's head into oblivion.

Satnak - OK i can't zorch it since its not a deific, so ahah.

Satnak cleans up the mess scraping out even the walls and floors just too be safe, and rolls the mess into an orb.

Satnak - *GLARE*

The orb quickly disintigrates into nothingness.

Satnak - No next times or I refuse to be responsible for the consequences.

5344. Satnak is hearby forbidden to use attacks from gundam G.
5345. Or any other gundam series.
5346. Nor is she allowed to use moves from DB/Z/GT, (gah i'm not nerdy enough to do a better list plz add on) or Rouroni Kenshin.
5347. So help me I don't care if it costs me the entire gorram crew and the ship and a good chunk of the multiverse, i will have you keelhauled if you even think *thundershock*.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-04-06, 08:45 AM		In a darkened church. Actually, below the church, in a room only the trusted few know about. It's an arena-type area, except it's not very well done. But it doesn't have to be. Because there is a stake in the center surrounded by a pile of wood. This is a church of the Silver Flame. You can't tell where right now. You don't even know when.

Figures obscured by long hooded robes walk out of the darkness around the arena. They take their assigned places, senior clerics in the front, junior members to the back. The most important member, exact rank is obscured by the robes, sits in an elevated box at one end of the arena. He nods once, and the doors at the other end open. Two gleaming paladins, out of place in this darkened area of hooded people, march out, dragging a limb girl between them. The clerics begin a spontaneous chant of prayers to the Silver Flame. The two paladins approach the stake and tie the girl on. Too tight, it seem. It's clear now that she was tortured. There's something else about her that isn't quite right.

The leader stands and begins a speech. Anyone who's ever heard a sermon against another people has heard this before. And as it goes on we learn the importnat facts: this girl is a lycanthrope, yet she was "masquerading" as a devoted follower of the Silver Flame. The girl whispers something—"I am loyal to the flame."—but her voice is so weak that no one hears it. They wouldn't care if they did. Finally the leader ends with a proclaimation that they will "cleanse her soul with the pure fire of the flame itself."

But first one of his companions is called upon to cast a spell. The hooded figure intones some words and points a finger at the girl. Suddenly she is wracked by horrible pains, screaming with all the power that is left in her. Her body begins to change, growing more muscular, a coat of grey-brown fur, and claws. He head changes, gaining a muzzle, and her ears move until they are higher on her head. A tail appears beneath the simple robe she wears. Finally the transformation is complete. She is in her hybrid form, a cougar lycanthrope.

The leader gives a signal. One of the paladins goes over to a door below the leader's box. He opens it; inside is a small shrine with a silver flame burning on the end of a gilded torch. The paladin reverentially takes the flame, and turns back toward the pile of wood. Loud music starts up overhead: there is a service going on in the church above which will obscure the girl's screams. The paladin begins forward.

Then all the noise above ceases. The leader holds up a hand to delay the "cleansing". It would not do to let those whose faith is in question learn what goes on beneath their feet. But no sound starts up again, no matter how long they wait.

Until they hear an impossibly loud *whumph*, and the ground shakes. The cieling begins to crumble just above the edge of the arena, catching the senior clerics before they have a chance to flee. Bodies fall down, parishoners of the church above, with a look upon their dead faces that suggests they have seen the greatest horror to a living being. Miraculously the cieling above the arena floor just disintegrates into dust, falling down along with a rain of more bodies and prayerbooks.

To be continued…
urial angel of death

05-04-06, 08:55 AM		Jarlot is walking out of his cabin, and is stopped by Volrath.
Volrath: Jarlot that was a beautiful speech.
Jarlot: I thought you were one of them. You know, wanting to destroy reality and all.
Volrath: That will be fun, but I would throw it all away if my family could be together, just for one day, like it was before. But no matter what I do that will never happen. My mother has gone to an after life, that is completely cut off from us. My sister is insane beyond all reason. My father can't ever truely die, and therefore can never join my mother. I also can never be destroyed, completely. I will die, but continue existing forever. Then all of my half-brothers and sisters, will welcome me into their fold. That is the closest thing to family I will ever get again...
Nalfien runs up to Volrath.
Volrath: I thought I got rid of you!
Nalfien: Please!!!
Volrath climbs up the nearby wall. Nalfien follows after him, by casting a fly spell. Jarlot is left with mixed feelings of sadness and confusion.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-04-06, 09:34 AM		Volrath: That will be fun, but I would throw it all away if my family could be together, just for one day, like it was before. But no matter what I do that will never happen. My mother has gone to an after life, that is completely cut off from us. My sister is insane beyond all reason. My father can't ever truely die, and therefore can never join my mother. I also can never be destroyed, completely. I will die, but continue existing for ever. Then all of my half-brothers and sisters, will welcome me into their fold. That is the closed thing to family I will ever get again...
OOC: :plotting: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Crystalforged

05-04-06, 09:44 AM		The bowels of the FF.

Cowboy Jarlot - I am Chuck Norris!!

Satnak - I watch waaaaaaaaaaay too much of Ketler's outworld anime!!

Cowboy Jarlot - WTF!??

Satnak - *Burning finger*

Satnaks glowing hand burns Cj's head into oblivion.

Satnak - OK i can't zorch it since its not a deific, so ahah.

Satnak cleans up the mess scraping out even the walls and floors just too be safe, and rolls the mess into an orb.

Satnak - *GLARE*

The orb quickly disintigrates into nothingness.

Satnak - No next times or I refuse to be responsible for the consequences.

OOC: :bigeyes: Well let's assume he made this list in the few scant momments he was allowed to live. :weep: (P.S. :P )


IC: Chuck Jarlot's rules starting at 0

0000) I am Chuck Norris.
0001) Roundhouse Kicks must always strike someone in the face.
0002) Also Roundhouse Kicks are automatically critical hits.
0003) That deal triple damage.
0004) Make that quadruple damage.
0005) Screw it, just make it quintuple damage.
0006) Save vs Massive damage are always required against roundhouse kicks.
0007) Actually saves vs massive damaged are required whenever I hit you.
0008) No, it doens't matter how hard I hit you.
0009) I am Chuck Norris.
0010) From this point forward any keelhauling offense is now punished with a round house kick.
0011) ...to the face.
0012) My tears can cure any illness.
0013) Too bad I never cry.
0014) From this point forward we do not read books.
0015) We stare them down until they tell us everything they know.
0016) For this reason it is not advisable to look too closely at any of Volrath's books.
0017) I do not sleep.
0018) I wait.
0019) There are no longer any pirates or ninjas on this ship.
0020) Only cowboys.
0021) Remember, if you can see me, I can see you.
0022) If you can't see me you may be only seconds from death.
0023) I eat Norbaz's chille to cure heartburn.
0024) I have never blinked in my live.
0025) Never.
0026) I invented water.
0027) I have two speeds, Walk and Kill.
0028) I am Chuck Norris.
0029) There is no chin under my beard.
0030) Just another fist.


Suddenly the sphere which Satnak pushed the remains of Chuck Jarlot into reappears spitting out a new Jarlot. This one is black and sports a mohak.

T-Jarlot: I PITY THE THE FOOL!



OOC: If you guys really don't like these alternate Jarlots feel free to kill this one off, I won't create any more.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-04-06, 11:36 AM		OOC: If you guys really don't like these alternate Jarlots feel free to kill this one off, I won't create any more.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NO MORE KILLING!!!! MORE JARLOT'S!!!!
urial angel of death

05-04-06, 12:03 PM		OOC: My last post was supposed to come immediately after Charles Phippes last post before mine.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-04-06, 12:34 PM		( A platinum armoured warrior rides a white steed along the rodes leading to sharn, his white cloak flutters out behind him and a glittering silver holysymbol clanks against his armour. his white skin is marked with pain and suffering and his silver eyes blaze with zealous ritousness, he rides towards a city, the city of sharn looms above the rider. but he rides on, the clash of the horses hooves against the cobbles of sharn. the horse stops and the rider dismounts his white cloak fluttering behind him, he walks towards a dirty and old tavern from which the sounds of laughter and mirth emit. He walks up to the barkeep)
Dra'vos: Im looking for the forgotten freedom

Barkeep: what would a holy sir like you be doing with a dark ship like that?

Dra'vos: i have... unfinished buisness

Barkeep: its docked not far from here. but what ever you do, dont tell them i told you... i dont whant any trouble

Dra'vos: ( Hands over a large bag of coins) do not worry citizen, i wont speak a word.
***
( Sa'vor stands by the ships railings, tears streaming down his face, its true he kills and commits evil, but not because he likes to bully. no, its because he has to fight for his place in the world. and his powers have always been feared. he fights for his very existance in this currupt world. its not that that creates the tears, its this day. this very day his mother was slain. this very day Naz'roth and he where joined and his life of evil began. he would trade all his power and wealth for one day with his mother as a family, to once more stand beside her scaled hide, to earn his place in society. but that was impossible, it was his lot to be the dark one, he chose this path and he whanted to follow it. for the power and glory denied by the light path. Jarlot didnt fear him, it was all as well, a captain shouldnt fear his crew. a leader shouldnt fear his troops. and whom said the illithids would rule? well, that was the orginial prophecy but even now its shifting, Kithle's empire will be the greatest, but like all empires it shall fall. and Sa'vor would see its fall and upon that final moment he would be free from this tourturous existance. until then, only the mind blade of one individual could slay him. foot steps emitted from the gang plank, Sa'vor turned)
Dra'vos: greetings cousin

Sa'vor: i see you are of pure heart. saught redemtion cousin?

Dra'vos: ( sadness in his eyes) yes, i have. it was wrong of me to tourture you so when we where young. i see that now. im not here for revenge. im here to stop you harming innocents, im here to stop the slaughter. though the people of our world are currupt there is some hope.

Sa'vor: So be it, we follow our different paths, and we both face the same destination. let there be an end to this.
( tara apears)

Tara: Dravos! ( steps infront of Sa'vor)

Dra'vos: tara, out of the way. this is a matter of redemtion, how dare you despoil this holy battle ground!
( the other crew members appear and begin to watch, Slip also steps infront of Sa'vor, Feal-Thas stands by his fathers side)

Sa'vor: ( pushing them away) this is a matter to be settled between me and Dra'vos
(Tara grabs his shoulder, and leans in to whisper)
Tara: Sa'vor you know you cant beat him, you know the section of the prophecy.

Sa'vor: yes, i do. There shall be one of darkness, whom hath been wronged by the one of light, The one of light shall seek redemtion, while the other shall be a blight. in a bloody circle shall they stand, that only one may leave.
( pushes her away) so it is a duel Dra'vos, you know the ritual

( Both draw a dagger from their pockets and slits their palms, blood leaks from the wounds, both mutter under their breath and form a half of the circle. then they both stand opposite. each forms a mind blade in thier hands, one silver one black. Dra'vos raises a hand and unleashes a barrage of magic, each spell is countered by Sa'vor. Sa'vor counter attacks with a burst of eldritch power, then using more incantations he fires in rapid succeson every offensive spell he knows at Dra'vos. Dra'vos counters them all. Sa'vor attacks first, he springs forward his blade lowered to skewer Dra'vos, Dra'vos parries the blow and then launches a vicious attack of slashes and hacking motions forcing Sa'vor back. the redshirts jeer and laugh as one of the attacks strikes Sa'vor. a wound in his left arm oozes blood. Sa'vor smiles, he tries to attack but once again is forced into a defensive, being forced back by Dra'vos's vicious attack. Sa'vor sidesteps a blow that would of clove him in two, he's sustained multiple wounds form the holy blade. Sa'vor strikes now with a slash, Dravos steps aside and forces his blade beneath Sa'vors rib cage. Sa'vor collapses to the floor clutching the wound, he sees the crimson pool that forms around him and sighs. at last his relife from his tourtured life comes. all fades to black)
***
(Sa'vor stands up, the world around him is grey and lifless, whats happeing seems to be distant and not part of him. he looks down and see's his own corpse sprawled on the floor)
Sa'vor: i am thankful, there is another to continue my blood line. im thankful for my life, though tourtured and twisted by pain and agony there where moments of pure happyness and joy ( he smiles, but his face darkens and he turns around. Before him stands Aerith)

Aerith: Hi Sa'vor!

Sa'vor: *sigh* i was expeciting someone more grim, with a scythe

Aerith: Oh, sorry, he only deals with Disk worlds dead

Sa'vor: Shame, so, what happens now?

Aerith: you have unfinished buisness, your not dead im afraid. im here to awaken and enhance some of your latent and supernatural abilities

Sa'vor: i see... So your an Antrhopic represntation of death being good? so why did you take Aeriths form?

Aerith: because shes the kindist and happiest person you know

Sa'vor: Ah, thought so. i was hopeing to die, but once again my duty calls

Aerith: i know, *smile* but you still have much to complete. im sure slip will be very happy your not dead

Sa'vor: well, lets get on with this then

Aerith: If you insist!
( theres a flash of bright light and Sa'vor Opens his eyes, he rises, completly unwounded. Dra'vos turns and redforms his mind blade, Sa'vor smiles and forms his, Sa'vor activates one of his more latent abilities: Time Mastery.
Sa'vor see's everyone of Dra'vos's attacks coming and parries them all effortlessly, he see's an opeining before it forms and prepares an attack, the mind blade plunges into Dra'vos's stomach. Sa'vor moves aside of a slash to the head, then as Dra'vos's gaurd weakenes and his strength lessens Sa'vor leaps over him, he calculates the weakest point on Dra'vos and strikes, strait at the base of the neck ( Dra'vos had lowered his hood) his unmindbladed fist struck in a anchient monks attack. Dra'vos's neck bork and he died)

Jarlot: WOW! that was a death attack, a sneak attack, a crippling blow and a quivering palm, that defies all the rules!

Kantash: this isnt a game... you know that dont you?

Jarlot: just because you lost your charactersheet

Kantash: i dont see the relevence in that statement

(the redshirts rushed forwards to rob the corpse but where stopped by a wall of force.)
Sa'vor: Do not defile his body, he deserves a honourable cremation, he will join the halls of my ancestors with pride. he is redeemed in my eyes

Jarlot: Joining the side of good?

Sa'vor: no, though the innocent slaughtering will stop.

Jarlot: you never slaughtered innocents anyway, Kantash did

Sa'vor: true enough. oh and turning him into an udead or stealing samples of his genetic signiture counts as well
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-04-06, 12:43 PM		Random Entity from Non-existance: I will now remove the part of T-Jarlot that is Jarlot.

Satnak: Where did you come from?

Random Entity from Non-existance: I am a friend of Crow and Silver. I am here to ensure that if any more alternate Jarlot's come into existance that they have a stylistic reason for being Jarlot. Barman and Chuck Norris count. Mr. T does not.

Random Entity from Non-existance reaches into T-Jarlot and draws something out. It is the Essence of Jarlot. He hands it to Satnak.

Random Entity from Non-existance: Keep this in a safe place.

Mr. T is suddenly replaced my an awaken Tarrasque at the border of medium to large size.

Satnak: What's that?

Random Entity from Non-existance: Ketler's eternal wand of awakening was used on the Tarrasque. It was then named Mr. T by the universe. Apparently the Narrative Element of the universe decided this was a perfect time to revive his joke.

Mr. T: I pity th' foo' who don't understand that.

OOC: Feel free to use him in jokes.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-04-06, 12:50 PM		he would trade all his power and wealth for one day with his mother, to once more stand beside her scaled hide, to earn his place in society.
OOC: Man, when I get done with my thing this is going to be fun.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
IC:
Sa'vor: true enough. oh and turning him into an udead or stealing samples of his genetic signiture counts as well
Caralot: *shudder* Like I'd make use of him. He's sanctified. Do you know what that does to offspring? Trust me, I'm not coming anywhere near him.
Charles Phipps

05-04-06, 03:03 PM		Beautiful work guys, some of the best posts here.

Sav'ors truly was great and so was the short Volrath part Urial.

And Chuck Norris can't die.

;-)

Also, I'm never getting the image of Aerith as Neil Gaiman's Death (with black flowers of course) out of my head.
Chrys

05-04-06, 03:34 PM		ooc: what the big deal with Chuck Norris? I mean isn't that like say Steven Seagull and Jon Clude Van damn can't die... they are just over the hill action stars :confused:

Now I have to do a Tifa death bit ;)
Charles Phipps

05-04-06, 04:08 PM		OOC: Chuck Norris has gained something of an amusing immortality on the Internet. Basically, he was the first Action Star to go "over the hill' but in honor of his previous work they've tended to portray him as a personification of the genre. Sort of like Elvis and Rock and Roll.

And Tifa is governed by anime laws like Jarlot is by D&D, its questionable whether she can be killed.

IC:

Aerith: Yes, Jarlot used to die a lot.

Terra: Isn't it very difficult to raise the dead?

Aerith: Theoretically it should be but after the first couple of times its done and he's rescued, the spirit becomes unfettered and pretty much has an open door policy on life.

Terra: I...see.

Aerith: Adventurers have it easy.
urial angel of death

05-04-06, 04:18 PM		Beautiful work guys, some of the best posts here.

Sav'ors truly was great and so was the short Volrath part Urial.

And Chuck Norris can't die.

;-)

Also, I'm never getting the image of Aerith as Neil Gaiman's Death (with black flowers of course) out of my head.

Thanks :weep:

Pholly is walking about the ship.
Pholly: Need to where did Phollie get to. What is that maniacal laughter I've been hearing? Why is my blood blue?
rampant

05-04-06, 07:23 PM		Satnak - So this Mr.t has regeneration huh? Unlimited chili meat!!

Mr.t - I pity the fool who is me

Satnak - FOR CHILI!!!

Mr.t - Get this crazy bit... MY TAIL MY FREAKIN.... NO NOT THE HEAD

--------------

Norbaz - Where the hell did all this spiced tarrasque come from.

Mr.t - its less painful to just wait here in the f-fridge and rip the pieces off my s-self.

Norbaz - This why the captain never hired any trolls. Lets see we got a big batch to make tonight Satnak's been pulling extra shifts, so I'll need another tail.

Mr.t - H-here *slice* the c-cold makes this less painful.

Norbaz - Thanks i'll get you food after the dinner rush.

-------------

Satnak - URP that was a great chili. Now what do I do with this slimy thing? I tried forcing it down the captains throat, I can't seem to destroy it completely and i really don't wanna zorch it because then i would have to touch it without the paper towel. *INSANE GRIN* I know.

That evening satnak can be seen smearing something accros the hull of the FF. In the morning nothing is different except the ship is a little harder to handle.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-04-06, 08:39 PM		OOC: Hey, I've got an idea. Let's have the crew of the FF discover a completelyy new continent.

5348: The crew is not allowed to make up new continents.

OOC: I'm glad I'm not one of the crew.

5349: Entities from the existance beyond non-existance are not allowed to make up new continents.

OOC: This is getting freaky. But anyway—

5350: Authors of the posts on this strip are not allowed to make up new continents.

OOC: Um…how can you know I exist? I mean, sure you can know that you're a D&D character, but—

5341: As a creation of the founder of this strip I am intitled to make up rules that affect those who post on it.

OOC: Aw, man. But what about wide open expanses of sand full of ancient ruins inhabited by reptilian races worshipping gods that haven't been heard of in ages?

5342: All desires to visit a desert full of ancient ruins shall be posted to Xen'drick.

OOC: The screaming desert wounted warriors waving scimitars?

5343: All desires to get your head chopped off by a guy on a horse shall be posted to Valenar.

OOC: The mummies that amble around and moan and occasionally spout out tirades about how their back is killing them and how things would be better if the rules the world again?

5344: Karrnath has way more than enough mummies to meet any need.

OOC: Weird desert plants that have strange mystical powers?

5345: We get enough plant-based mystical powers from Terra's brews.

OOC: Bustling markets full of spices and other exotic goods that you have to weave through carefully to avoid finding your wallets light?

5346: Pirates do not do spice markets. Especially if it involves thieves.

OOC: Scantelly-clad harem women who get charmed by the first roguish pirate who swoops through their window?

5347: Our next stop is a new, undiscovered desert continent.
urial angel of death

05-04-06, 08:49 PM		Volrath: Desert continent, harem women, scimitar, ruins. Can we go to the Nameless City while we're there?! Ppppplllllllleeeeeaaaaaassssse! :bigeyes:
rampant

05-04-06, 09:03 PM		Satnak - I'm heading this off right now. *Fist of the mortal flame*

New continent is vaporized.

5358. No yuyu-hakusho moves for satnak.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-04-06, 09:48 PM		Terra returns to the FF and heads to her room, carrying the gem with her. Volrath shows up, happy to see her.

Volrath: Hey, welcome ba-...Whoa, you look like hell.

Terra: Yeah, I know. Seems like I missed something big.

Volrath: (sees the gem) Hey, I thought you got rid of that years ago.

Terra: That's the thing. This isn't mine. I found it in my mother's house after I was attacked.

Volrath: Uhhh...that's not a good thing, is it.

Terra: No, I don't think it is.
Crystalforged

05-04-06, 10:50 PM		NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NO MORE KILLING!!!! MORE JARLOT'S!!!!

OOC: Well then, I had just kinda figured that the Alt-Jarlots weren't well liked because of how quick people were killing them off, but if you like them I have something new cooked up already...



IC: While Satnak is pigging out on the newest batch of chille a small sphere falls out of her cloathing. The sphere of Jarlot's essence which was extracted from T-Jarlot by the Random Entity from Non-existance. It falls to the floor and shatters on top of an common, household spider, which is actually extremely rare on this ship compared to the number of mutated/monsterous/extradimensional/genetically engineered arachnids on board. The sphere is draw into the spider and transforms it into a humanoid in a red suit covered in spiderwebs which, predictably, looks quite a bit like Jarlot.

Former Spider: I AM JARLOTMAN.

Suddenly in the background music starts playing and a tune can be heard, it sounds something like, "Jarlotman, Jarlotman, can do anything a Jarlot can."

Jarlot: (turning to Kanatash) I hate you, you know that right?

Kanatash: Yes, and I still don't care. I must say however I am surprised by the entities resiliency, I never expected it to last past the second mutation. I should look into acquiring some samples.
rampant

05-04-06, 11:07 PM		Satnak - I already smeared the orb into the ship its infused its going nowhere and doing no such thing.

Jarlotman - That means

Puff of logic

Satnak - I am the ***** queen.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-04-06, 11:21 PM		OOC: Well then, I had just kinda figured that the Alt-Jarlots weren't well liked because of how quick people were killing them off, but if you like them I have something new cooked up already...

That was rampant's doing. I had a few ideas with Chuck Jarlot, but he died too quickly. :weep:

"Jarlotman, Jarlotman, can do anything a Jarlot can."

:rofl: But he's dead already, too... :weep:

IC:

Devon: So, what, we have a Tarresque on board now?

Silence: I think it's, like, one of those 'affirmative action' things again.

Devon: I thought there was some kind of a rule about not naming the Tarresque "Mr. T"...

Reman: Due to the fact that my client, Mr. T, was not a member of the crew nor aboard this vessel at the time of his aforementioned naming, he is therefore exempt from any and all rules, regulations, or agreements, verbal or written, pertaining to restrictions on his official title. In addition-

Silence: SHUT UP ALREADY!!! Can't you just say it doesn't count against the list like normal people?!

*from somewhere in the bowles of the ship*

Mr. T: AH PITY DA' FOO'!!!!!

* Large explosions and the bloodcurdling scream of redshirts are heard*
Kaizer_Ryu

05-05-06, 12:16 AM		What appears to be Kithle is walking through some of the lesser used corridors of the ship. Terra warps in a few feet behind him.

Terra: Hello there.

Kithle?: (startled) Ah! Wha- oh, hi.

Terra: That clinches it. You are not Kithle.

Kithle?: How can you say that? Of course I am!

Terra: He's been wanting this vacation for ages. He wouldn't just come back early for no reason. And that reaction was a dead giveaway. I purposely gave off more energy than required. If you were him, you would have sensed my arrival easily. I give you points for fooling me the first time, though.

Kithle?: Well...I...er...

Terra blasts him against the wall, sending waves of arcane power at him. The impact and ensuing attack cause him to return to his normal form. She holds him to the wall as she pries open his mind, forcing him to answer her questions.

Terra: Ok, you little bastard. You're going to tell me what this is (holds up the gem).

Changeling: (hesitantly) That is our symbol, the mark of membership to our cult.

Terra: And why would I have one? What do you have to do with the one who attacked me?

Changeling: You are one of us. The one who attacked you was to give you your first assignment, but you have forgotten yourself.

Terra: The other guy said the same thing. What am I to you people?

Changeling: I don't know. I was only sent to spy on you, to get you to leave the ship and enable the meeting. It was unexpected that you would leave of your own accord.

Terra: You know more. Let me in, or I will make your death seem a sweet release. I know more than a few people that would enjoy such a diversion.

Changeling: Ugh...I know nothing more on this matter, and killing me will not change anything. You will be brought back. Our master has need of you.

Terra: "Our" master? I don't remember agreeing to serve anyone. My help is given, not taken.

Changeling: You have no choice. "He" will come for you soon. When he does, you will not be able to resist him.

Terra: We'll see about that. But since it seems you have nothing more for me, I guess only I'll see about that. :devil:

Closing her hand, the Changeling's heart explodes, killing him instantly. She disposes of the body by throwing it to the demon chocobos.

Terra: Such frightening images. That man he talked about...there's something about him...something familiar.

A throbbing pain starts in her head. As it subsides, she fails to notice that the wall in her mind has ever so slightly begun to break down...
Charles Phipps

05-05-06, 12:46 AM		Jarlot: Man, I can't believe you're actually bothering to do this...

*mops up remains of Jarlots*

Aerith: I'm protecting the Time Stream and stuff!

Jarlot: What about the continent a certain demigod destroyed?

Aerith: You're just worried about the harem girls.

Jarlot: Yes.

Aerith: But yes, every Jarlot has an important part in his or her time stream.

Ressurection Spell Light

Aerith: Thus they must be restored and returned to their proper timelines.

Jackie Chan Jarlot: Thank you very much! WO POW!

Jarlot: Wait, if there's a Jackie Chan Jarlot...a Spider Jarlot....what Jarlot am I? I'm Jarlot Jarlot right?

Aerith: Oh Heavens no, you're Final Fantasy Jarlot. You replaced Eberron FR when...the incident happend.

Jarlot: Say what?

Aerith: Well suffice to say the Eberron Jarlot killed a Daelkyr and you're not supposed to do that.

Jarlot: REALLYYYYY? I thought they were immortal.

Aerith: There's a way to permanently consign souls to oblivion that are outlawed to all but the gods and they have voluntarily left the universe to avoid using them. Even the Daelkyr fear them. Of course I can't tell you....

Jarlot: *scribble scribble scribble*

Bat Jarlot: I wasn't dead! I only had my back broken! Now I must stop Azrael-Jarlot in a 14 part crossover!

Jarlot: So what happened to Eberron Jarlot?

Aerith: Well after he killed the Daelkyr, he absorbed its essence and is trying to work his way through the universe until he eats it.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-05-06, 01:10 AM		OOC: What, no MacGyver Jarlot? You know, stopping Satnak from mushing him with a crumpled straw wrapper, a penny, and a piece of lint? Or destroying all the Crystals with an empty toothpase tube, a paperclip, and a potato? C'mon, people! This Jarlot has endless potential for insanity!
rampant

05-05-06, 03:08 AM		Satnak - Just keep them from doing anything world-alteringly stupid for a couple weeks, you have powers the gods quail at it shouldn't be a problem, what in creation could cause you more than a headache he says. Well I got one hell of a headache Kithle !!!

Super jarlot - My only weakness is Kryptonite.

Satnak - You are not helping my headache !!!

5359. We will never again speak of what Satnak did to super jarlot, and someone get the girl a migraine pill.


Roosevelt - I ain't touching it you clean it.

Igor - Buuth iths Phollys thurn

Wild chili - SSSSSSSKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AADDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR RRRR (recoils in horror)

Pholly - If the chili wont touch it i'm certainly not going near it.

Kanatash - O thats just awful, normally i'd be jealous i never thought of this, but in this case i just gotta hrrp (dashes off to the toilet)

Sa'vor - what did the poor sap do to deserve that hrrp (dashes off after kanatash including the throught the wall parts)

Jarlot - how is this never speaking of it again hrrp (you know the drill)
urial angel of death

05-05-06, 06:53 AM		Volrath and Ketler are sorting through DVDs.
Volrath: How did you get all these? I remember there were only a few on Elminster.
Ketler: That device, that links to the world in my head. It might cause some problems later, but these were to good to pass up.
A diminsional rift opens up. Out of it steps a yellow man, sporting a sparkley white suit, pink sunglasses, and a fro.
Disco Stu: Where is Disco Stu?
Ketler: Who is Disco Stu?
Disco Stu: Disco Stu is the beautiful man standing in front of you.
Ketler: Oh no, he's talking in third person. You know what has to be done.
Volrath: Yes I do. (raises flencing knife.)

Late in the kitchen, Norbaz is spooning out dinner.
Allen: So, what swill are you serving today.
Norbaz: Something Ketler gave me. He calls it Disco Stew
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-05-06, 07:12 AM		Satnak - I'm heading this off right now. *Fist of the mortal flame*

New continent is vaporized.

5358. No yuyu-hakusho moves for satnak.
Satnak: Well that takes care of—

There is the sound of a planet-sized dragon roaring.

Satnak: WTF?

Random entity from Non-existance: Well, you know how all the land on Eberron is supposed to be part of the body of a huge progenitor dragon?

Satnak: Well if I made it mad by blowing up a continent, I'll just have to zortch it!

Random entity from Non-existance: And completely destroy the surface of the planet, not to mention freeing Khyber from her imprisonment?

Satnak: So I'm just going to have to do a lot of zortching.

Random entity from Non-existance: I thought you were the opposite of Kantash. And by that I mean that you don't want to destroy the world.

Satnak: Well then, mister "I know everything because I don't exist", what do I do?

Random entity from Non-existance: Just hit "reverse" on your arm.

Satnak: What?

Random entity from Non-existance: Your arm has the power to suck up and destroy deities. Illogically, then, if reversed it should have the power to create a deity. And just to head off your question, if you don't like what you create you just destroy them and start over.

Satnak: No way.

*Sound like the planetary surface below is transforming into a huge dragon that is very angry and legally un-zortchable.*

Random entity from Non-existance: And Norbaz can't create new chilli recipies if there aren't ingredients.

Satnak: *sigh* Logic gets in the way of everything.

She points her arm out into empty air. As if she's always known it was there, Satnak hits the mental "reverse" switch. Something begins to take shape: a swirl of sand.

Swirl of Sand: I am flow, non-gendered god of deserts and time. I shall reverse the damage that Satnak has done and restore the lost continent. SHAZZAM!

5360: Satnak is not allowed to destroy the new continent.
5361: Satnak will not be making deities on request.
***
Igor is cleaning up the mess of Superjarlot.

Andrea: Hey, I thought you didn't want to clean that up.

Igor: Yeth, mith. But I realithed it didn't thuit the decor.

Andrea: What—so you didn't do it before—

Igor:—becauthe I thought it wath appropriate to the image of a thip of violent, murderouth thycopathth.

OOC: :pint: the Kaizer_Ryu for making use of Reman. Lawyer joke!
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-05-06, 08:22 AM		( a small Airship pulls up to the forgotten freedom ( which was almost destroyed by a huge rift opening, but Satnak closed it by sacrifcing the new deity she made, and the ship became fully functional ( for the first time since it was stolen; there where cut backs) ) along the gangplank walks a messanger holding a letter in his hands he's trembling alot, he hands over the letter to Tara and then runs screaming somthing like " Dont kill me i ahve a wife and kids!" and "dont shoot the messanger" )

Tara: hmmm, this should be intresting *opens letter*

"Dear crew of the Forgotten feedom,

due to your recent work at repairing reality and saving the world (twice) we've decided to clear all of your charges and remove the bounty placed on you. please note that there is no cash prize or lordships enclosed, but we would like to remind you to stick to only petty theft rather than full scale destruction.
yours Sincerely
Lawyers of Eberron "

Tara: hmmmm, better post this on the ships bullitin board

***
( later, around the bullitin baord)
Micheal: SWEET! back to drinking in pubs again!

Devon: and whenching!

Andrea: and some proper mages supplies, not this second rate crap

Marish: and some proper customers for once

Jarlot: and some actual proper beer, not the smuggled stuff

( of course some of the more powerful crew members arnt so happy)
Sa'vor: Damn, now we're going to have to keep an eye on them while their in the cities. though maybe i could indulge my kleptomania a bit,

Kantash: though we do have new access to new test subjects. and a higher chance of gaining new crew members. the ships lawyer will be pleased

Sa'vor: Ah, more chances we'll need his help. and we'll be able to gain some proper money on PROPER mercenary jobs. unlike that last one

Kantash: yeah, those dolls wherent exactly worth a lot

Jarlot: Look those dolls are extremly popular to the lower down people in Sharn

Kantash: your making that up! all we did was hand them over to this twisted collecter guy, FOUR THOUSAND OF THEM! and he payed us what was it? oh yeah twenty gp, TWENTY!

Jarlot: we gained a lot of experience though, i levled up TWICE

Sa'vor: you mean you can finaly tell which end of the swords the pointy bit?

Jarlot: i thought you where loyal to me?

Sa'vor: i am, i've supported you in each one of the mutanies. and i collect all the money of the redshirt corpses and hand it to you. though i refuse to use my powers of invisibility to help you take pictures of Aeirth in the shower.

Jarlot: why? whats wrong with you man?

Sa'vor: I, unlike most of this crew have some control over my desires. also its unhonurable

Jarlot: Bah, i'll find someone else to do it

Sa'vor: and i've only betrayed you once.

Jarlot: you did attempt to tourture me that one time

Sa'vor: that doesnt count! you deserved that, and anyway, you acted like it was a holiday

Jarlot: shame i lost all the Xp

Kantash: thats wierd...

Sa'vor: what?

Kantash: pholly or the lesser crew havnt blown anything up recently

Jarlot: youre right! i was wondering why it was so silent

Sa'vor: thats not a good thing, i belive its time for some good old fashioned information gathering. Slip!
( slip appears out of the shadows)
Slip: you called ?

Sa'vor: would you mind investigating whats going on with Pholly and the lesser crew?

Slip: *smiles* will do
( vanishes)

Jarlot: i never can get used to that

Sa'vor:*sarcasm* its a good thing she doesnt exist then isnt it captain?

Jarlot: i'll keel haul

Sa'vor: that doesnt work on ubers

Jarlot: how about i stuff you in the Crystal dimension?

Sa'vor: okay okay. i'll shut up
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-05-06, 10:22 AM		Volrath: Desert continent, harem women, scimitar, ruins. Can we go to the Nameless City while we're there?! Ppppplllllllleeeeeaaaaaassssse! :bigeyes:
OOC: What's the Nameless City? But by all means, I just thought it would be fun to go somewhere since this crew has been basically b*tch*ng, though I can't blame them, since we're just waiting for all these posts to drop off the face of the Earth. I have the Idea for a New Continent saved, and I will post it after the Great Deletion.

Satnak: You know, you may count as a deity.

OOC: I count as something more than a deity. Your arm can't—AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH—

Satnak: *blowing off the steam from the end of her arm*
urial angel of death

05-05-06, 01:01 PM		the nameless city is another one of Lovecraft's creations. It is a city in the Arabian Desert, that was inhabited by a, repilian Old One worshipping, race, beofre the rise of man. It was where the author of the Necrominicon gone most of his info, from the carvings. I just assumed, it being a middle eastern continent, Volrath would want to go see a place of such ancient knowledge.
Crystalforged

05-05-06, 01:15 PM		actually about the "great deletion" I'm planning to try and create a word document with all the posts that are on the chopping block. There is a chance I will forget or be unable to compile them all so I someone else is thinking of the same thing they should probably do that to, better to have backup.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-05-06, 03:55 PM		the nameless city is another one of Lovecraft's creations. It is a city in the Arabian Desert, that was inhabited by a, repilian Old One worshipping, race, beofre the rise of man. It was where the author of the Necrominicon gone most of his info, from the carvings. I just assumed, it being a middle eastern continent, Volrath would want to go see a place of such ancient knowledge.
Maybe I'll edit my "convincing Jarlot" post.

Incidently, what do people think about conversations between me and crew members?
rampant

05-05-06, 04:40 PM		Not liking it myself, if you want a disembodied voice type in dv. ooc means ooc got it.
Chrys

05-05-06, 04:49 PM		ooc:
hmmm yeah I second use D.V. instead of ooc for that

Hmm what about the Jarlots from other campians show up... I could work on one from Darksun :D [one who likes Tifa but for some reason Tifa hates him.]
JakeQuistis

05-05-06, 09:43 PM		Allen was relaxing on one of the several luxurious beaches of the desert continent, sipping a red-colored martini.
"Ahh... This is the life. Not having to worry about Kithle, Sa'vor, Kanatash, or any of those other main characters getting me into even more dangerous situations... I mean, those Crystals? And Mr. T? And all those cloning experiments..... It's good to be away from all of that insanity..." He says, relaxing some more.
Crystalforged

05-06-06, 12:07 AM		Norbaz, Micheal, and Dooj are in the kitchen when Kanatash suddenly floats in.

Kanatash: Here's your supply for this week, Norbaz.

Norbaz: Ah, good. Your timing is perfect.

Micheal: :eek: You're getting ingrediats from Kanatash? Mind telling me what that’s going into so I know what dishes to avoid?

Norbaz: Oh, these are Kanatash's toenail clippings, I use them to make the chili.

Micheal: ... Are you serious.

Kanatash: The corrosive abilities of that stuff defies to laws of science, magic, physics, psionics, reality, possbility. What do you think went into it?

Dooj: ... Well I suppose this does go a long way towards explaining why Satnak likes the stuff so much.
rampant

05-06-06, 12:16 AM		Satnak - What do you mean by that?

Dooj - (shakes in fear)

Micheal - How the freak is she doing that?

Kanatash - She's abusing a couple of soulmelds.
Crystalforged

05-06-06, 12:42 AM		Norbaz: He means that since you were origionly created as a copy of me it makes sense that you might develope an obsession with a food product derived from you proginator.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-06-06, 01:13 AM		actually about the "great deletion" I'm planning to try and create a word document with all the posts that are on the chopping block. There is a chance I will forget or be unable to compile them all so I someone else is thinking of the same thing they should probably do that to, better to have backup.

OOC: I'm keeping up on it as well. I figure the more backups the better, just in case someone's computer crashes. *knock on wood*

IC:
Still in Terra's room:

Volrath: Didn't the last one have some kind of enchantment?

Terra: Yeah, and I think this one does too. I just can't figure out what it is. From what I can tell, it needs a password or something to activate it.

Volrath: So, you have no idea what it does?

Terra: Not a clue. It could be something comletely harmless...or it could be very, very bad. Considering my experiences so far, I'm going with the latter.

Volrath: What are you going to do?

Terra: What can I do? I can only really wait for their next move. *sigh* It just...it just burns me up, you know? I've been searching for any leads to my origins for the last 200 years, and the first real clue I get comes in the form of a blast to the face...

In quick succession, several images flood into her mind. The man she saw through the spy, only much bigger. A young boy of about 12 talking to her, calling her 'sis'. Many figures in blood red robes, their faces obscured. A dreadful figure, cloaked in shadows surrounded by a foul mist, it's eyes cold and unforgiving. A silver flash, followed by a sharp pain in her chest. The last one snaps her out of her vision, sweat dripping off her forehead.

Volrath: (worried) Are you ok? You kind of freaked out there for a second.

The throbbing in her chest is still fresh in her mind. The pain slowly subsides as she regains her bearings.

Terra: Y-yeah, I guess so. I think...I'm beginning to remember. I'm not sure I want to anymore...
rampant

05-06-06, 04:05 AM		Death paper - Daddy said to keep an eye on you especialy if you brought anything shiny back.

Volrath - Gah !!! origami ankle-biter, don't think i forgot what this thing did to my crystal singers, wiped out every last one of them.

Terra - -in squirrel- Yes i think this is what he meant, but i'm not sure what you can do.

Death paper - Skritch somebody's eyes out (makes slicing motions at volrath)

Volrath - Gah its after me again hide me!

Terra - Calm down -in squirrel- Death paper these people have unknown psionic power.

Death paper - is that anything like the shiny lights people throw at me?

Terra - huh?

death paper - yeah a bunch of people toss shiny light thingies at me but they always look at me wierd after wards, is it because i don't turn black or smelly like other things do?

Terra - duh golem -in squirrel- sort of did daddy ever warn you about fire

Death paper - he said squirrels are fireproof.

Terra - wtf?
urial angel of death

05-06-06, 09:17 AM		OOC: crystal singers?

IC: Volrath: (in an oddly calm voice) Mist.
He then slumps over.

OOC: I know, short post, but I have no idea how to get from this point, to my idea. Also I'd rather not make assumptions about Terra's past.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-06-06, 02:49 PM		OOC: Psionic powers are the least of her worries right now. :evillaugh That was only a warning.

IC:

Terra: Well, just to be in the safe side, I'm sealing this until I figure out more.

She places the gem in a small anti-magic field in the hopes that more answers will present themselves next time.
urial angel of death

05-06-06, 03:47 PM		Volrath drifts through his memories again, completely oblivious, to Terra's worrying.
He remembers waking up in cold hard room, strapped to a table. A door opens, mist spills out of it. Into the room walks a bald man, slightly bent over.
Bald man: Hello god-child. You're the first success.
Volrath: What? How'd I get here? Why am I tied up? Success?
Bald man: Yes all of the other patients either died, or suffered mental, "trama". (gestures toward a young dwarf strapped to another table)
Dwarf: (barely consious) Muridin smash!
Bald man: Hell I even tried a child of a celestial (Gestures toward a muscular, lithe, man, with one wing. He's breathes are labored and seem to be takijng all his effort.)
Bald man: (as though to himself) Yes with you true power can be achieved.
Volrath: (coughing up a mouth-full of blood) You still haven't answered me. Why am I here; and what did you do to me?
Bald man: (walking out) You will learn in time.

Meanwhile on the Forgotten Freedom, Terra wonders why Volrath hasn't gotten up yet.
urial angel of death

05-06-06, 04:39 PM		Volrath drifts through his memories again, completely oblivious, to Terra's worrying.
He remembers waking up in cold hard room, strapped to a table. A door opens, mist spills out of it. Into the room walks a bald man, slightly bent over.
Bald man: Hello god-child. You're the first success.
Volrath: What? How'd I get here? Why am I tied up? Success?
Bald man: Yes all of the other patients either died, or suffered mental, "trama". (gestures toward a young dwarf strapped to another table)
Dwarf: (barely consious) Muridin smash!
Bald man: Hell I even tried a child of a celestial (Gestures toward a muscular, lithe, man, with one wing. He's breathes are labored and seem to be taking all his effort.)
Bald man: (as though to himself) Yes with you true power can be achieved.
Volrath: (coughing up a mouth-full of blood) You still haven't answered me. Why am I here; and what did you do to me?
Bald man: (walking out) You will learn in time.

Meanwhile on the Forgotten Freedom, Terra wonders why Volrath hasn't gotten up yet.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-06-06, 09:51 PM		OOC: Oops. Double post there, Urial.

IC:

Unable to wake Volrath, Terra leaves him in Mickey's care, Kanatash hovering over him. With everything that had happened, she simply couldn't risk Volrath getting caught in the crossfire if anything should happen. In a flash of inspiration, she headed off to find Caralot.

Caralot: What's up? It's not often that I see you down here.

Terra: I need a favor. Well...several favors actually. I'd be willing to offer you something in return, of course. Something you've had your eye on for a while now...

Caralot: :confused: Wha-...oh. :D OH! Alright, you've got yourself a deal!

OOC: Yes, it's samples from the Demon Chocobos. Get your heads out of the gutter. :D
Kaizer_Ryu

05-07-06, 03:49 AM		A throbbing headache again strikes Terra as she heads toward her room. Another memory surfaces, this one very vivid.

???: Lana, it's time.

Lana/Terra: (her voice that of a seven or eight year old) But, I don't wanna go, daddy! I'm scared!

???: Now, Lana. This must be done. As part of this family, you must participate in the ritual.

Lana/Terra: No! Haru changed after he went through it! He got really mean! I don't want to be like that!

???: That is the price we pay for our power. Our master will not tolerate failure just because you 'don't want to'.

Her father picks her up and carries her to a dark room. In the center is an altar covered in dried blood. Surrounding it are several men in similarly colored robes. The young elf boy from her previous vision stands nearby, and an elven woman that strongly resembles Terra waits with him, a look of despair on her face. The boy, Haru, looks at her with wild eyes, seeming to enjoy the look of fear on her face. She is carried over to the altar, kicking and screaming as she is tied to it. On the wall she is facing, a large sigil is carved in the stone. The robed men close in around her and begin chanting in a language she does not understand. Each word is painful to her ears and causes the sigil to glow softly. The slow torture continues for several minutes until one of them picks up a dagger from an indentation in the altar. The chanting stops, and the man grabs her right arm. He cuts her wrist, the blood flowing into a bowl. She tries to pull away, but the ropes prevent it even as her strength wanes. Half conscious, she sees one of them carry the bowl over to the sigil and begin tracing the outline with her blood. When he finishes, the sigil turns blue and a foul mist eminates from it. A demonic form, cloaked in darkness, emerges from it, his glowing eyes fixed on Lana/Terra as he hovers above her.

Shadow Demon: You have done well, my servants.

???: Thank you, my lord. As per our agreement, she is yours.

Too weak from bloodloss to protest, Lana/Terra can only watch in terror as the demon reaches for her. His hand passes through her skin and wraps around her heart, the icy grip seeming to stop time. The cold begins spreading throughout her body as the demon attempts to absorb part of her soul. Suddenly, a flash of silver and a stabbing pain snap her back to reality. Her mother had stabbed through the demons hand and right into her heart. The demon howled in rage as her life quickly ebbed. Before the darkness overcame her, she heard angry shouting, stabbing noises, and her mothers screams echo throughout the chamber.

(back in reality)

Lisa and Aerith are walking down the hall when they notice Terra collapsed against the wall. They hurry over to her, hearing her mumble softly.

Lisa: Hey! Are you all right?

Aerith: She'll be ok. We need to get her to bed.

Lisa: (hoisting Terra onto her back) What happened?

Aerith: (her hand on Terra's forehead) I'm not sure, but it seems something quite traumatic to her psyche revealed itself.

Lisa: Can't you do anything? You're a Deva, right?

Aerith: This is something she must work through herself. Anything I would do would only be superficial and more damaging in the long run. Just make sure she knows you're concerned about her. It will do more to help her than I could.
rampant

05-07-06, 05:26 AM		5362. Squirrels are not fire proof.

Dat da dat dat da DAA
Dat da dat dat da DAA

Earl - Get them off a me!

Ketler - What the?

Micheal - I think some ones been using the wand of awakening as chew stick.

Doing the conga on the elemental ring is a swarm of squirrels.

Ketler - i though we dropped the wand over the ocean... oh crud Mr.t must of had it and dropped it.

Earl uses hand afrost and manages to scare the squirrels off.

Earl - The buggers keep coming back first they were roasting chesnuts, then some dance called the peanut breaker or something. Fire doesn't burn them, they keep dodging the basic ice bolts, and they scamper off until i let hand afrost die down.

5633. Apparently they are.
5634. This does not mean you are allowed to give them incendiary weapons and use them as reusable self guiding fire bombs.
5635. Stop getting the squirrels drunk, their mean drunks.
5636. Do not feed the squirrels chili.
5637. No i don't know what will happen, lets not find out.

In pholly's lab everything is taped down and solidly corked and over labled, except when necessary for use. Pholly is bent over his bowl, obseving his latest attempts.

Pholly - i got it this time true alchemist fire, properly contained, finally i'll be able to get this to the armory and validate my existance.

A squirrel on the shelf above chirrups.

Pholly - Huh?

Squirrel Smirks and knocks over vial labled flammable with suspiciously frayed tape.

Pholly - You little bast...

Fwoom

Pholly now sits amongst the ruins of his lab, again, while the untouched squirrel climbs on his head and chews him a nice bald patch.

Pholly - ... ard *cough* Its almost enough to make you miss kithle.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-07-06, 01:57 PM		Terra awakens in her room to the sound of squirrels doing the conga. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but the world looked different somehow. Like a veil had been pulled from her eyes, suddenly revealing a new level of existence. She could see it, but not understand it yet.

Lisa: Are you feeling better now?

Terra: I guess... What happened? How did I get back here?

Lisa: Aerith and I found you in a hallway, passed out. We brought you back here to rest.

Terra: Oh...thanks. Have I missed anything?

Lisa: Not really. Death Paper found the Wand of Awakening and has been causing a little mayhem. But I'm more concerned about you. You were mumbling in your sleep. You kept changing languages and you seemed rather distressed.

Terra: Remembering your own grizly death will do that to you. Death is never a pleasant experience, but it's terrifying to a child.
Rei32491

05-07-06, 06:27 PM		Nalfein is trying to talk to Terra, who is walking away from him.

Nalfein: :bigeyes: Please! Ask Volrath when he wakes up to get me the book!!!

Terra: For the last time. NO!

Nalfein: Why not?

Terra: Because I. Said. No.

Nalfein: :mad: :tantrum: COME ON!

Terra: I SAID NO!!!

Nalfein: :headexplo THATS IT! FIREBALL!

Terra uses her ring of greater spell turning to reflect the fireball, which is nullifyed by Nalfein's Ring of Fire Resistance.

Nalfein: HA :D , Ring of FI-

He sees Not-Walter is leaping for his face.

Nalfein: :gah: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-07-06, 06:30 PM		( In Sa'vors Citadel Dimension. On the balcony overlooking the training Grounds. before Sa'vor stands a legion of Half Dragons. Beside him stands Slip, Naz'roth, Feal-Thas and Tara. Sa'vors Black hood is pulled quite far over his face, shadowing his features. Naz'roth Stands in his true Deamonic form, a tall humaniod of unearthly grace with two large draconic wings. his eyes burn with violet flames. his black robes flutter about him. Tara wears her usual Arch-Necromancers robes with the hood concealing her face. Feal-Thas wears full armour with a double-bladed scimitar on his back. Slip wheres light armour her hair bound behind her. Sa'vors face is grim)

Sa'vor: ( In a voice that booms across the huge training ground to the fully ranked out legion) Brothers! just a few months ago i brought you all into this world as my children. since then i have seen you thrive beyond my greatest expectations
( large cheer)
long has man-kind squabbled amungst themselves like children! long have our kind been belived Abominations by our prodjenators. a unpure bloodline! a HALF RACE! no more my brothers! with my power i have made us a race of out own, the empire of our lord kithle will rise in time. but first ( smirks) how about a little field test?
on the plane Shavarath a test shall be made, the legions of Demons, Devils and Angels belive the armies of mortals below them. well, lets see how our bloodlines do against such "Higher beings"?
( larger cheer, The Black banners bearing the symbols of the empire flutter in the breeze)
Be prepared, for in a week. the first test shall begin! the test by battle!
For the empire! For our bloodline!

the Legion as one: For the Empire! For our Bloodline!
( the legions begin to deisperse and practise their combat techniques, tactical manovers. ambush tactics and crafts. Sa'vor Turns to the others)
Sa'vor: this shall be the first test. but aside from that, Slip, what happens on the ship?

Slip: terras acting funny, i've heard whispers of her having flash backs. that the wall in her mind is shattering and what is concealed behind i becoming known to her. She fainted in the corridor, also, Volrath told me that she was attacked while visiting her mothers grave

Sa'vor: intreasting.... we'll have to keep a close eye on her. she may become a threat to us, maybe she wont. but we have to keep on our toes, shes a dangerous one terra.

Tara: that she is. but, i wonder. what was so important or horrifying that it was concealed from her?

Naz'roth: what concerns me is whom her assailants are, why they seek her. and why they've been watching her, somthing isnt right about this, i feel it in my bones.

Slip: this Cult or organisation could be a threat. if it becomes one we'll have to take action.

Naz'roth: if they become a threat... well, lets say that the cleaners will be scraping this cults members remains of the walls for years to come.

Tara: you've always had such a deliciously evil mind Naz'roth.

Naz'roth: no where near as evil as yours

Sa'vor: Enough, save your lovers banter for your own time.
(tara gives Sa'vor a look)
Slip: what can we do Sa'vor?

Sa'vor: like always, we shall wait and see what happens. then we shall act. Action reaction.

Naz'roth: that is the wisest action. we dont know their motives yet, for all we know, they could be protecting us form terra.

Sa'vor: that they could, though it makes me wonder. what about her is so terrible that they've been waiting this long to act? what about her required such careful planning?

Naz'roth: we wont find out by forcing the information from them.

Slip: like the shadows we will be. watch and wait.

Tara: then we act.

Sa'vor: well, lets get down to planning this war.
urial angel of death

05-07-06, 08:18 PM		Volrath’s memories continue. He is still tied up, but now the winged man begins to stir.
Man: (looking at Volrath) Who are you?
Volrath: I guess just this crazy guy’s next experiment.
Man: Pray to die quickly. They longer he doesn’t get the results he wants, the more horrific his tortures become.
Volrath: It couldn’t have been that bad. I don’t see more than a few scratches on you.
Man: He doesn’t hurt you physically. He tries to extract your life force. He has never be able to get any pure enough. So he just keeps trying new things. He’s trying to bring back his wife, who’s just barely being kept alive by his machines. He found some girl’s body to transfer the spirit into, but apparently to keep her from passing on, he needs large amounts of life force.
Volrath: He said that I was a success.
Man: That could be bad, for us. Just have to watch and see.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-07-06, 10:29 PM		Deep within the Forgotten Freedom, Terra waits patiently. She had felt the same presence she had sensed during the attack on the cottage. Whoever it was, he was back. She only had to wait for him to come to her.

Terra: So you’ve finally shown yourself...

Behind her, a man in assassins gear appears from the shadows. His eyes glow coldly, a wicked grin firmly planted on his face. Though he has matured, this is obviously the boy from her visions.

Haru: Heh, heh. You really are pathetic, Lana. I don’t know why Father wants you back so badly.

Terra: Jealous? No need to be. I have no intention of cooperating with you, family or not.

Haru: Father will not take no for an answer. I, however, am not here to take you back.

Terra: Then you wish to kill me? Is that it, (turns to face him) brother?

Haru: Very astute, sister. This time, I won’t leave you with just a few bruises…

He launches a quick Psionic blast, which Terra knocks away. Each of them form a mindblade. He lunges at her, only to be parried and flung against the wall. He comes at her again, clashing blades.

Terra: You underestimate me. I will not be defeated by such a meager offense.

Haru: There is much you do not realize, sister. Power unique to our clan that you cannot yet access. Or ever will.

Before she can inquire, he breaks off and jumps back. He launches another blast, stronger this time. Terra manages to deflect it, but is unable to react when he rushes her. He pins her to the wall, his eyes seeming to laugh at her. With a swift knee to the balls, she breaks his grip, grabs his arm, and flings him down the hall. In one smooth mid-air motion, he rights himself and melds with the shadows of the hall.

Terra: A Shadowdancer, eh?

Haru: (his voice seeming to come from each shadow) You only wish it were that simple. Shadowdancers only use the shadows to hide and travel. I can use them as an extension of myself, an endless weapon. Unkillable. Unbreakable.

The shadows around her begin to close in, taking a semi-solid form. They strike at her from all sides, landing blow after blow as she is slowly overwhelmed. Within the forming mass of darkness, a flame erupts as she activates her incendiary skin. The shadows do not dispel, but they no longer have solid enough form to hit her.

Haru: Clever. But how long can you keep it up?

Terra: Long enough, you little creep.

She summons a fire elemental, causing the shadows to retreat further, and also revealing Haru’s location. Startled, he is unable to react before a massive arcane blast strikes him in the face, sending him flying into a portal. Terra follows closely behind, arriving in one of her pocket dimensions. They are standing in a clearing surrounded by a lightly forested area.

Terra: (motioning to their surroundings) You like it? I created it myself. Everything in this room responds only to my will. Your shadow abilities are pretty much useless here.

Haru: A minor setback. I was merely unaware you were a sorcerer. I don’t need shadows to kill you.

He throws a small orb to the ground, which explodes in a flash of light and smoke. Temporarily blinded, Terra can only sense his movements. She manages to block several strikes before her sight returns, but he lands several damaging strikes as well. Regaining her focus, she sees his face twisted in sick pleasure at her bloodied form.

Haru: You can never hope to defeat me. When you are gone, Father will have to acknowledge me as the rightful heir to the clan!

Terra: (smiling) Gloating over your victory before the final blow is struck? Igor would be disappointed in you.

Her body glows slightly, and something rather strange happens. Her wounds begin undulating, small plantlike tendrils sprouting from them, sowing them back together. In a matter of seconds, the only evidence of her wounds are the blood stains on her clothes.

Terra: (checking out the results) I’ll have to thank Caralot for that one.

Haru: (enraged) Y-you! What trickery is this! How can you be unharmed?!

Terra: (wagging her finger, smiling) Ah ah ah. That would be telling. Now, if you’re done with the questions, let’s finish this.

With a wave of her hand, a shower of crystal spikes fires at him. The spikes tear at his flesh as he defends, the skin of his arms shredded. She creates a Psionic barrier as he counter attacks, blocking his blade, and repels him with a shot of arcane magic. As he is propelled into the air, she flies up to meet him. He opens his eyes, only to see her coming down with a two fisted smash. The blow strikes him across his brow, sending him careening into the ground. Terra lands a few feet away as he painfully gets to his feet.

Haru: Wh-where did all this power come from?! You can’t possibly be stronger than me! I WILL NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT!!

His frustration blinding him, he leaps at her with a guttural scream. She grabs his arms and flips him onto his back. Hopping up, he strikes at her again, missing badly and succumbing to another blast of arcane might. He is thrown through a tree and lands several feet away, narrowly avoiding being hit by the falling trunk. Before he can right himself, Terra catches him in a vine death grip.

Terra: Like I said before. I will not go back, nor will I let you do as you wish to me. You were a worthy opponent, but our match is decided.

Haru: (strained) You may have defeated me, but your defiance will not go unpunished. If you continue to refuse, Father will show no mercy. I am but a flea to him. Your meager power cannot hope to stand against him…

Terra: Is that all you have to say? Goodbye then, brother.

Without hesitation, Terra Psionically crushes his mind while her vines crush his body. The bloody mass falls to the ground as she walks through an exit portal back to the FF.
rampant

05-08-06, 04:27 AM		Lisa - Somethings been bugging me.

Terra - If its Micheal again I'll...

Lisa - No, I'm talking about the squirrels, I mean I understand the awakening thing, but . . . why were there squirrels on board in the first place?

Terra - :confused: ... good question.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-08-06, 07:09 AM		Lisa - Somethings been bugging me.

Terra - If its Micheal again I'll...

Lisa - No, I'm talking about the squirrels, I mean I understand the awakening thing, but . . . why were there squirrels on board in the first place?

Terra - :confused: ... good question.
Caralot: Sorry. I was trying to create a squirrel swarm. Heard about something called a Squirrel Hurler (actual prestige class created on the boards!) and thought that squirrels would make more humane security than Crys.
***
The Legion as one: For the Empire! For our Bloodline!

Igor: :weep: I've never been so happy.
Charles Phipps

05-08-06, 07:36 PM		Kanatash: Virgin's blood....one quarter ounce of child fat.....and done.

A Dark And Demonic Cloud Emerges into the Ship

Akuma: I AM AKUMA! THE SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS. WHO DARES SUMMON ME UNTO THIS PLANE TO BRING BOTH TERROR AND CHAOS!?

Kanatash: While I'd argue that Chaos is in any, way, shape, or form more wicked than Order, I do in order to destroy a problem of mine. You see the Crystals onboard this ship have gotten out of hands. Plus, there's this never ending supply of Jarlots....

Akuma: Jarlots!?

Kanatash: Uhhh...yeah.

Akuma: GAH! NO! CLOSE THE GATE! YOU'VE MENTIONED HIS....

*Akuma is then destroyed by a katana that falls from the sky*

Samurai Jarlot: Do you happen to know the way to a...Time Portal?

Kanatash: Uhh....no.

Samurai Jarlot: Pity.

Geisha Aerith: Saiyanorah!

*putters after Samurai Jarlot as they wander out of the room*

Kanatash: You know, I didn't believe in Karma until today but I'm starting to realize that all my evil deeds COULD be having a horrible consequence for me. Could I possibly change my ways?

*pause*

Jarlot: *pops his head in* DAMNIT! NO SUMMONING JAPANESE ME! WE KNOW THEY'RE MORE COOL!

*slams the door*

Kanatash: NAaaaaaaah.
rampant

05-08-06, 08:05 PM		Satnak - Ok when are they going to learn, no more jarlots.

Samurai Jarlot - Huh?

Giesha Aerith - Who are you?

Satnak - I am the Deicide and i want you off this ship, preferably out of this reality. Please tell me you want to do this the hard Way.

Samurai J - If you have access to a time portal or even just a way to the place we came from, we would be more than glad to ...

Geisha T - No one threatens My Jarlot die *****.

Satnak - *Freezing Fist*

Geisha T is rooted to the floor with ice.

Geisha T - Eat tanto mage.

Satnak blinks out.

Samurai J - (draws sword) A ninja?

Satnak - No just a real warrior swordboy *pegasus meteor punch*

Samurai J is trown across the hall way with several viscious bruises from a barrage of Satnak's right hand jabs.

Satnak - Normally I'd kill you for being presumptious, but you tried to play nice. So A quick trace annnnnnnnd bingo here you go this should send you back to where ever the last portal took you.

Samurai J - Than...

Satnak - Yeah yeah gratitude could you just take your girlfirend and go.


5638. Satnak, no Knights of the Zodiac moves, now your just trying to annoy me with obscure stuff.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-09-06, 12:16 AM		Terra walks down a hall in the FF, lost in thought. The battle last night had given her a few more clues, but had brought up so many more questions. Seeing Haru's ability to manipulate shadow had revealed what it was that seemed different about her surroundings. She was able to 'see' the Plane of Shadow as it overlapped the Material Plane, it's ebb and flow as the lights flickered. It was right there, but she had no idea how to do what he did or even how to enter it. If Haru's words were to be believed, she had abilities similar to his.

Still, what was all that about leading the clan? Was it really worth it for him to kill her for just that? No, there had to be more. Her resurging memories were of little help with this. She was simply too young at the time and hadn't been told of such matters. She could only wait and hope the next time went as well. He almost had her with the shadow swarm, and she may have lost if she had not gone to Caralot for her new regenerative abilities. She had to expect that her father would be much harder if she was forced to fight him. But he also knew the answers to her questions.

Any information she could gather on her foes beforehand would be helpful. Volrath was still out cold (she wasn't about to even try to find anything in that maze), so she headed off to the next best available source of demon information.

Silence: What do you want?

Terra: Oh, come on. That incident with Lisa was weeks ago. Plus, you got me pretty good for it.

Silence: Fine. Still, like, why are you here?

Terra: I need information on demons. I have no idea what the name of what I'm looking for is, and I figured you're my best bet to find out more.

Terra describes the being from her memories as Silence begins searching. Going off Terra's information, she comes across a book on Glabrezu demons.

Silence: Does this look familiar?

Terra: Hmmm. It's close. The one I encountered may have been a variation. Still, this is the most I have to go off of. When Volrath wakes up, at least I'll have a starting point. Mind if I borrow this?

Silence: Yes. :P
Charles Phipps

05-09-06, 01:20 AM		Jarlot: Satnak...

Satnak: I'm sorry, one of you is enough.

Jarlot: I'm afraid I have to modify your character sheet to stop God moding. Here's a copy of your character sheet.

Satnak: What in the what now?

Jarlot: Here you go.

*hands over the modified sheet*

Satnak: You do realize that this won't impede me in any way.

Jarlot: Whatever.

Satnak: See that mountain. Watch me....

*flicks fingers at it, it doesn't blow*

Satnak: What the....

Jarlot: *whistles*

Ketler: We need to get those away from the Captain.

Satnak: What the Hell ARE they?

Ketler: The keys to the Matrix I'm afraid. The real question is where Jarlot GOT them is my question.

Satnak: *scribbles back in his ability to destroy mountains then blows up the mountain* Okay...this is weird even by my demigod of Chaos standards.

Ketler: Maybe he's like Roger Rabbit and can only do stuff like that when its funny.

Marish: Yeah well we're still trying to figure out which one of the crew is Jarlot's daughter.

Ketler: Wait, what?

Marish: Long story.

Ketler: Oh hell, this opens a new can of worms.

Marish: Yes, I bet Terra!
Kaizer_Ryu

05-09-06, 01:42 AM		Terra: No way in hell is Captain Jarlot my father, Marish. You lose that bet right now.

Marish: Awwww....

Terra: And give me back Not-Walter. I don't like you tricking him into assuming his alternate form for that reason.

Marish: :weep:

Jarlot: Say what now?

Terra: Go look it up yourself, Mr. D&D. Whatever that is... Use one of those Monster Manual things you claim to have.

(later)

Jarlot: (finding the entry on Half-Farspawn Broodling Kythons) Ok, I know that ability...that too...ah! Here we are...

*pause*

Jarlot: :yuck: EWWWWWW!!!!!

5639: Marish is hereby forbidden to be alone with Not-Walter
5640: Make that any female crewmembers
5641: Screw it, ANY crewmembers
5642: Except Terra, of course
5643: Because we all know she doesn't swing that way
5644: Re:#5639-41, Unless someone wants footage
5645: And I get a cut
5646: And you must never, EVER tell me what happened in there

OOC: Just so you know, his alternate form is a tentacled mass. :devil:
rampant

05-09-06, 03:46 AM		Satnak - Guess what jarlot (brutally gut punches jarlot) I'm still a lot stronger than you.

Jarlot - Wheeeze

Satnak - Now tell me how to unbind this things hold on me, or I'll give you a Kithle's skylight special, sans speed, precision, and quick death. Also I have a meld for Sense motive on so don't even think bluff.

Jarlot - How do you know about that.

Satnak - Apperently you made a few mistakes filling out my sheet, you turned me into a guy you sick freak. On top of that I'm not a demi-god thats divine rank 0. I don't have divine ranks. Further more I'm not an aligned force I'm a conceptual force, DEICIDE if I was a demi-god it would the a demi-god of destruction, and deicide. I Had to figure this whole system out just to find out what you did to me now fix it!!! Getting my focus wrong was on thing but fix the gender first Marish keeps hitting on me, and I'm starting to like it!!.

Jarlot - OK bad mental image there, the fact that your face hasn't changed makes this worse somehow.

Satnak - Your darn right it does.

Jarlot - OK lets go over this thing and fix it.

A few hours later.

Satnak - Ok thats everything major fixed, but I should be taller.

Jarlot - Must have smudged it fixing your gender.

Satnak - Now Unbind it from me.

Jarlot - Thats Ketler's department, I dunno how to sever these safely.

Satnak throws jarlot through the walls into tifa's room.

Tifa - Out kids.

Door closes, roosevelt begins nailing boards over the hole in the wall.

Jarlot - Oh no.

-------------------

Satnak - KETLEEEER!!

Ketler - Yes maam.

Satnak - Unbind this thing. NOW

Ketler - :eek: Yes maam

Satnak - I'll be looking over your shoulder the entire time.

----------------------

On the fore deck a little after sunset.

Satnak - Finally thats done with no more papers messing with me.

Rikku, Yuna , and Paine wander on board.

R - Where are ...

Y - we gonna...

P - sleep tonight.

Satnak - Ugh I forgot Tifa had you 3 sprats around these days. Lemme guess she kicked you out when the cpt. Fell in.

YRP - Yep/yes/yeah

Satnak - Gah, Nalfien its your turn at watch.

Nalfien - Fine :rolleyes:

Satnak - Ok your three You can use the Spare rooms in my Suite.

YRP - YAY/Thank you/ok

Nalfien - Wait you get a suite?

Satnak - Most of the outsiders on board are more than willing to help me out with little projects like extradimensional rooms in exhange for not ever touching them with the arm.

Nalfien - Don't you have complete control of the zorching mechanisms, and its capable of doing a fair number on humanoids too.

Satnak - Of course, just guys like naz'roth get really weird vibes from it.

----------------------

Satnak - a few rules, do not wake me up, do not eat the chili from the mini fridge, the spoons are fair game just wash them when your done, if you have to do something messy, stay in the kitchen, and no waking me up. Yes i mentioned that one twice. Good night.

Satnak exits the lounge and locks the door to the primary bedroom behind her.
lostone

05-09-06, 07:15 AM		Just curious if people are saving the posts they make here so they can be reposted after the board upgrade is done?The message boards are now undergoing both a hardware and software upgrade. The work is taking place on a "snapshot" of the current boards made at 9 pm PDT, May 1. What this means to you is that NO POSTS made after this time will be ported to the upgraded boards, nor will new registrations be allowed during this period. As seen at the top of the page.
urial angel of death

05-09-06, 07:31 AM		OOC: I thought someone was saving all of them for us

IC: Nalfien is in Mickey's room, standing next to Volrath, along with Paine, Rikku, and Yuna.
P/R/Y: *humming the Jeopardy song*
Nalfien: Please!
Volrath remains comatose.
Nalfien: Come oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooon *breaths in* Come oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo on.
Volraths eyes fly open.
Volrath: Shut up!
Volrath picks up Nalfien and flings him through the nearby wall.
P/R/Y: *Begin humming various Rob Zombie songs*
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-09-06, 09:21 AM		Terra smacks her forehead.

Terra: Of course, Igor. He's encountered basically every evil thing in the known universe. He must have some knowledge of this thing.
***
Silver: Wait, Jarlot has a daughter? I'm a goddess of life, how could I not know this?

Crow: Sope-opera causality. Unexpected relatives show up. Like Tifa's trips. Your knowledge will just back-date itself.

Silver: Whew!

Crow: But what are we going to do about Satnak?

Silver: Why are we going to do anything?

Crow: Her deicide arm makes it nearly impossible for any interesting power villains to take on the FF.

Silver: But we aren't going to do anything about it.

Crow: Well, yeah. Who likes super-powered villains?

Silver: They have no style.
***
Amidst all the falling bodies descends a small black shape, only perhaps a foot tall, but with a tail twice its height. It floats until it comes to the level of the leader, above the stake and the girl. It’s possible to catch its shape if outlined against the dim light from the torches in the church above: two pointed ears on top of its head, a tapering muzzle, and legs and arms more like the limbs of a canine. The tail whips about, snapping in the air and sending small shockwaves down against those sitting around the arena. The creature opens its eyes, and there is a visible red glow.

Suddenly the creature has picked up the leader by his skull. It is a deadly situation for the leader: his neck is now supporting his entire body.

Creature: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU SEE? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU SEE THAT I CAN’T SEE? WHAT IS IT THAT I SEE THAT YOU CAN’T SEE?

A look drawn from the depths of horror appears on the leader’s face, the same look that the dead bodies wear. He stops breathing. He’s dead before his neck stretches beyond living.

The creature lets the body fall. The leader’s companions edge back. Even the paladins below, veterans of crusades against foul evil, don’t move against the creature. But one lone priest, somewhere midway up the arena side near the leader’s box, stands defiantly.

Priest: Know, foul fiend—

The creature looks at the priest. The man crumples in mid-sentence.

To be continued…

OOC: Please, no one do anything with this yet. I want to set up a very serious character like Terra and Sa'vor and Volrath, so I need to get it established before I can make jokes.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-09-06, 09:46 AM		OOC: I thought someone was saving all of them for us

OOC: I'm saving them, and I believe at least Crystalforged is as well. After the switch, I guess one or more of us will repost them under quotes.

IC:

Volrath and Terra sift through the tomes in his library as Igor stands nearby. Not-Walter stands guard at the door, growling at Nalfein as he pouts just outside.

Nalfien: C'mooooooooooooo-

Igor: I'm thorry, mith. But I haven't worked with him directly, so I don't know hith name.

Nalfien: -oooooooooooooooooo-

Terra: Anything you know would be most appreciated.

Nalfien: -oooooooooooooo-

Igor: From what I gathered, he ith indeed related to Glabrethu demonth. However, he ith more powerful and theemed to command them.

Nalfien: *deep breath* -oooooooooooooo-

Volrath: More powerful in what way?

Nalfien: -ooooooooooo-

Igor: The thadow abilitieth mith Terrra'th brother dithplayed were one example. He liveth darkneth and moveth freely within it.

Nalfien: -oooooooooooo-

Terra: Why would someone like this wait until now to come after me?

Nalfien: -oooooooooooo-

Igor: I can only athume you are needed for thomething thpethific. Thomething in which timing ith important. That, or he wath thimply unable to thearch for you for thome reathon.

Nalfien: -ooooooooooonnnnnnnn!!!!!
urial angel of death

05-09-06, 12:10 PM		Volrath: It could be a Glabrezu/shadow demon hybrid. Often when two different types of demon cross breed the child is more powerful than both of the parents. How ever they are unable to reproduce, keeping their numbers small.

Terra: I guess.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-09-06, 02:07 PM		OOC: i've only saved my own posts im afraid.

IC:
Naz'roth: a demon hey? must be of a newer generation. being trapped in a crystal prison does that to you, all the demons begin to stop respecting you. thats why i've always prefered devils really. they know the chain of command, and only your equals or those slightly below you try to stab you in the back. just like politictians ( especialy Labour politicians).

Tara: whats the difference between Demon and Deamon?

Sa'vor: Demons are the personifcation of Chaos and evil, Deamons are more Lawful evil, but Deamons are always powerful. they're the ruling elite of the fiendish world. fourtunatly theres only six of them left, three of Naz'roths power level and two of the lesser Deamons.

Slip: what about Asmodeous and the Dukes? arnt they Deamons?

Naz'roth: No, back in the day The Dukes where Devils, only a fraction of the power of one of the Deamon lords. they controlled portions of the world about the size of countries, Deamons controlled whole continents. The continent of Khorvaire was ruled by me, though i dont really count on being able to get it back. my time has passed

Tara: dont Deamons get reborn like demons and other fiends ?

Sa'vor: no, their power gets divided up to create millions of lesser fiends. sometimes their spirits are able to be housed in new bodies, similar to the method a Dracolich uses. somtimes the make pacts or bargins to return in a lesser state and slowly they regain thier former power.

Slip: so wheres the other two Deamon lords? the ones of equal power to Naz'roth?

Naz'roth: ones buried in Sarlonna, the Inspired and qouri keep an eye on him.
the other in Xendric, though their well gaurded and we dont whant them escaping.

Sa'vor: why? wouldnt they make great allies?

Naz'roth: lets just say they dont share my attitude, the what to take their lands back by force. and i doubt the Dragons would let them do that, they keep a close watch on me as it is.

Sa'vor: lets just hope we dont have to content with any of them. i ahve enough trouble stoping all us ubers from blasting each other apart as it is, and kithle wouldnt be pleased if we started fighting. and Satnak's even moodier than usual with all the millions of jarlots running about

Slip: what the crew need is a good fight, you know, a attack form an armada to unleash all their stresses and emotions. that or a party.

Tara: i thought it was a party every night on this ship?

Naz'roth: that was just the recruitment poster

Tara: stupid posters, lying to me all the time.
Rei32491

05-09-06, 05:33 PM		Nalfein is still trying to get into the libary.

Nalfein: COME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Everyone is still ingoreing him.

Nalfein: PLEASE!!!

Volrath: (sighs) Fine, bu-

Nalfein: YAY!!! :D

Nalfein then runs over to Volrath.

Volrath: I'll let you read it, but you need to get me something first.

Nalfein: ANYTHING!!!

Volrath: I need a Book of the stilled tongue.

Nalfein: OOOOOOK, wait a minute. That book is not even in this campaign setting.

Volrath: DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!!! Anyway, I can get you to the right plane, but it will take a day.

Nalfein: Ok, but I need to leave someone here that will make sure that you don't double-cross me.

Volrath: Who, I am your only friend and even I don't like you that much.

Nalfein: Oh, I got it covered. My winter wolf familiar will watch you.

Volrath: Wait, you have a familiar?

Nalfein: Yes my winter wolf.

As he says this, a big winter wolf appears next to Volrath. Volrath takes a double take.

Volrath: :eek:

Volrath then jumps 3 feet in the air and lands on top of a bookshelf.

Volrath: When did you get that?!?

Nalfein: I have always had it. His name is Cuddles.

Cuddles: I told you, my name is spleen eater.

Nalfein: Awww, your so cute!

Volrath: :uh-huh: So I'll get started on that.

Nalfein: (Drums his fingers together) Exellent :plotting:.
Rei32491

05-09-06, 07:07 PM		OOC: Forgot to do put this in.

Cuddles a.k.a Spleen Eater LE Advanced winter wolf

Cuddles is a winter wolf (a little bigger than a horse for those of you that don't know) that is Nalfein's familiar. Nalfein switches in how he talks to Cuddles, sometimes he talks to him like a mother talks to her child, or he talks to him as if he is a killing machine. Even though Cuddles is annoyed by Nalfein calling him Cuddles, he really likes Nalfein. He says that his name is Spleen Eater, because spleens are his faviorite food.

Magic Fang 3/day
Keen edge 3/day
Flame Sheld Blue 3/day
Breath (Cone of cold)
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-09-06, 07:54 PM		A brawl breaks out in the bar.

Jarlot (entering at this most inopportune moment): What in Khyber is this? I get lost, decide I'm dying for a drink, and then I end up here.

Lucky and Roosevelt step out of the chaos like ninjas out of a cloud of smoke.

Jarlot: Why was I never informed we had a bar?

Roosevelt: I got you to sign the release form. Slipped it in with my last wood requisition.

Jarlot: Okay, I'm putting a stop to this RIGHT NOW!

Roosevelt: Had Weascal deck it out with all the legal nooses. They are god-binding.

Lucky: Besides, you've been getting a cut.

Jarlot: So that's where that extra money came from. But why do we have a bar?

Lucky: We—that is, the Lesser-Used crew—decided that with all the interdimensional portals opening up and lost of random beings wandering through that we could make a mint.

Roosevelt: And it keeps the weirdos off the regular crew's decks.

Jarlot: Well…Kithle and Satnak will be glad for that.

Lucky: We provide something for the crew to do besides get on each other's nerves. Mr. T and Bruce Ki are bouncers.

Mr. T: I pidy to foo who don't pay his tab.

Bruce Ki: I shall show you the error of your dishonoring that serving lady.

Lucky: Erks the barkeep. When you don't have time to speak thousands of languages or cast a permanent tongues, a guy who gets along by gesture is perfect.

Erk rumbles something from behind the bar across the fight.

Lucky: We've got Jingo collecting from those who try to slip out. And Tony the Tiger is our cook.

Tony: It's GRRRRRRRRRRREAT food!

Cabin Boy: And I am here to help those who's spirits are broken regain.

Jarlot: Whoa! You dug out some seriously unused talent for this one.

Roosevelt: Even some of the regular crew come down here. Norbaz has a great singing voice. Ketler designed all our stills. Terra contributes ingredients. And Marish—

Jarlot: Trust me, I can guess. But how come I didn't know about it?

Lucky immediately starts sweating. But Roosevelt handles things in his usual blunt manner.

Roosevelt: Igor mentioned something to Tifa about the power of bars to hook desperate men up. That qualifies you. And we seriously don't want to mess with Tifa.
Phantomcrossing

05-09-06, 08:49 PM		Norbaz mulls over a drink in the crew bar, Erk cleaning a glass boforeh him.

Norbaz: I just don't know...it...maybe that's why I keep coming down here. Maybe I'm scared to actually confront her about it...probably why I've been avoiding her the past two weeks.

(scenes of Norbaz seeing Andrea turn the corner towards him and clinging to the ceiling to avoid being seen...Hiding behind the misenmast, dissappearing, and doing other ridiculous & dangerous things to hide in these mundane avoidance situations)

Norbaz: Am I suddenly turning into a coward over this. Just because I'm worried I told her I respect and admire his skill, talent, and beauty? Bah! Maybe...maybe...If I wasn't so sure I would die I would have never written that letter. But...I need to say something to her, or at least know what her response is. Sigh.

The half giant goes to the stage and picks up the mic...that which follows is some kind of Eberron equivalent of Frank Sinatra. Marish approaches Erk at the bar.

Marish: Well, has he gotten enough liqour yet?

Erk shakes his head no.

Marish: Well, give him this, I'll get Andrea down here and well see what happens.

Marish gives Erk a bottled labeled "Liquid Courage"

OOC: Okay, someone who has more control over Andrea please pick up from here, I just think this is gonna be hilarious from here on out.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-09-06, 09:54 PM		As Marish walks off Erk looks down at the bottle.

Erk: *Bah! "Liquid Courage"? He'll never forgive us or himself if I use this. Forcing someone to admit their innermost secrets when they don't want to is the surest way to make them depressed. But maybe…*

Erk grunts at Lucky and points to the bar. Lucky nods in understanding, taking up Erk's place. The Minotaur ducks intot he bar's back room. When there he opens the secret door in a wine barrel (There's always a scret door in the wine barrel—Igor), stepping through into a dark room without walls or cieling. In the center is a large book, the cover made of stone and carved with deisgns that are inscrutable to all but Erk. It basically says Puzzle God's Guide to Ways to Trick People.

Erk searches through the tome for about an hour. Finally he comes upon the entry he needs:

"Making a Very Competant Person Think They Have Courage"

Yes, this would be much better. And when it was over, Norbaz would know that he had made the decision himself.

OOC: No one should ever be able to use a magic potion to solve their problems, no matter how good an idea.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-09-06, 10:58 PM		OOC: Lord Kale Fangblade, your last post just gave me an eeeeeevil idea (taps fingers together Burns style). But, unfortunately, it will have to wait for later.

IC:

Late one evening, a pair of grotesque bird-like humanoid forms fly about the ship. One lands next to a porthole on the lower decks while the other keeps watch. A Redshirt opens the porthole and begins speaking with it in a hushed voice.

Vrock 1: What news do you bring of the target?

Redshirt: She seems to be trying to stack the deck in her favor. Most of what we've learned indicates she has regained most of her memory and is using it in an attemt to fight back.

Vrock 1: So she does not intend to go peacefully. Master will be most pleased. He has always enjoyed the strong willed type. Continue your reconissanse.

The Vrock lifts off and the two prepare to return.

Vrock 2: Why do we need to come all this way? Why can't we just spy remotely?

Vrock 1: Master said the Psions on board would be alerted to such a thing, and we must remain as hidden as possible.

The bloody scream eminates from the ship. They look back and see Kanatash floating there, looking rather pleased.

Kanatash: Seems we caught on anyway...

Vrock 2: :censored:! (to his companion) We cannot be caught like this! GO!

Turning to flee, they see another form, this one is Terra.

Terra: :devil: Hi there.

They split up, trying to get back to the portal they arrived through. Kanatash easily out maneuvers his opponent and Psionically freezes him in midair. Terra throws a mindblade at her's, slicing off a wing, followed by an arcane blast that disintigrates him.

Kanatash: (shaking his head) Messy, messy, messy. You really need to have more fun instead of just killing them.

Terra: Just releasing some pent-up frustration. (looking at the still-frozen Vrock) What are you gonna do with your catch? Perhaps I could learn a few things...

Kanatash: I wouldn't suggest it. Most of what I normally do would probably drive you insane. Breaking a demon's mind requires a bit more effort on my part.

Terra: *shudders* Remind me never to get on your bad side...
rampant

05-09-06, 10:58 PM		Unless the problem is an offending wall and the potion is enlarge person.
( see post before previous)

Satnak - Hey when did terra get soulknife levels? Is it part of this memory thing?
Kaizer_Ryu

05-09-06, 11:12 PM		Satnak - Hey when did terra get soulknife levels? Is it part of this memory thing?

Terra: No, that's the second soul part. I just haven't been using it.

Satnak: Is this another one of those Narrative Element things? Or has Jarlot been messing with our 'character sheets' again?

Terra: Yes.

Satnak: "Yes"? That's not an answer!

Terra: AAAAHH!! Run away!

Edit (OOC): With the number of things that have happened recently, I figured she's leveled up at least once, maybe twice (especially all the EXP for character development and the massive amounts of Crystals she's killed off :D ), so I thought it'd be a good idea to give her more melee potential.
Crystalforged

05-09-06, 11:28 PM		Just a note, I was planning to save these posts when I had some spare time but thanks to a hectic schedual this mythical "spare time" has yet to materialize. I still might cobble something together by the deadline but it would probably be best if Kaizer_Ryu assumed he was on his own.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-09-06, 11:38 PM		I've just been redownloading the thread into a notepad file after each time I post. It's only about 2 MB at this time and takes about 10 seconds tops to download (for cable anyway). If there's something I'm missing, please let me know. I'd rather find out before WoTC drops 'the hammer'. Otherwise, I'll just repost everything under quotes on the 15th.

Edit: In my previous post I forgot to include defeating her brother, who I stated out to roughly Fighter 7/Psion 5/SoulKnife 17/Artificer 3 with a Kiazer Brand™ Shadow Template. I think I just heard her level up again... :D
Charles Phipps

05-10-06, 01:05 AM		Fun question...

Purely on the basis of their behavior in game. What would you say everyone's levels and classes are?

;-)
rampant

05-10-06, 01:54 AM		Well Kithle is getting a bit of a make over on the island so your gonna have to wait for him.

Satnak Is up to 10 Psi warrior/ 15 chaos incarnate + plus arm and general bad***ness

Chalky is brb 4/ warshaper 5/ and Spellthief 1 (mostly to get stealth and craft minor magic items at the same time)
Kaizer_Ryu

05-10-06, 02:37 AM		As you probably have guessed, I've got something pretty major set up, so these levels are bound to change: Terra is currently Druid 11/Sorceror 15/Psion 8/Soulknife 2. And because I think it bears mentioning, she currently has a custom regeneration template.

I think Satnak's levels are misleading. The template from the arm has to up her challenge rating by at least 30. Which brings up a new rule set:

5647: Do not taunt Happy Fun Satnak
5648: Because a happy Satnak is usually a bad thing
5649: For you
5650: An unhappy Satnak is likely to be just as bad
5651: Which is what she will be if you taunt her
5652: She does not do 'fun' well either
5653: Don't forget what she did when the Redshirts tried to get her to 'lighten up'
5654: Yes, Pholly, you still have to clean it up
Charles Phipps

05-10-06, 03:47 AM		Cool, though as a note this is about guessing other people's levels not stating your own.

;-)

I also love Satnak, I just love teasing her.
rampant

05-10-06, 04:18 AM		Pholly - The spines are still moving!!! That one just winked at me!!! SWEET TIRA MIRRON THEIR STILL ALIVE!!! SHE TOOK THEM APART BUT THE PIECES ARE STILL ATTACHED AND FUNCTIONING!!! Well except the lungs those don't work well outside the body cavity.

Squrrel - Chirrup

Pholly - HIDE ME!!!

Squirrels swarm the mess.

Pholly - :eek: :yuck: :uh-huh: :mymy: :help: :shocked: :blink: :gah: :OMG! What a way to go.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-10-06, 08:11 AM		Caralot: All right! The cleanup squirrels work. No more having to pick up the crew's leftovers.
Chrys

05-10-06, 08:30 AM		Well if I rember right I made Tifa was a Wizard 5 Fighter 2 Spellsword 3 StormCaster 10 .... every one forgets that shes a caster :embarrass [I never used Arris in FF7 unless I had to So Tifa and the cat thing where my casters]

But it does not matter becuase after my next post... that will not matter

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
urial angel of death

05-10-06, 08:56 AM		Volrath: Terra could you wait to fight your family, until I can join, when Nalfien gets back.
Terra: Well I kind of want to do this on my own, besides you aren't really uber enough.
Volrath: Yes I am!
Terra: Last I checked your level was thirteenish.
Volrath: Not everyone posts their stats everytime they level up. I mean don't you think that something would have happened to my stats when I left the cocoon.
Terra: What are your levels then.
Volrath: Well sense you asked, Half-farspawn, daelkyr half-blood Warlock 12/ artificer 1/ fleshwarper 10.
Terra: By the way what happened to those appendages, you grew?
Volrath: Oh, they stay under the skin when not in use.
Terra: I'd prefer not to know, what their use was, when you were coming out of Marish's room. *shudder*
Volrath: :angelhide
Kaizer_Ryu

05-10-06, 10:31 AM		OOC: Urial, don't worry. I still have a few things to do before this is done. :schemes:

IC:

The Vrocks screams eminate from Kanatash's room as he enjoys himself. Those attuned to Psionic energies can hear a loud *crack* as his mind snaps like a twig.

Vrock: Not the lemony freshness! Anything but the lemony freshness!

(a few minutes later in Terra's room)

Terra: Did you find out what their goal is?

Kanatash: Not really, no. Whoever they are, they're very careful. Those Vrock's only knew what they needed to and nothing more. They had picked up a few other things, but no detailed information about anything but their primary mission. It seems many of the precautions we use to keep each other in check have worked in our favor, stifling their ability to spy on us.

Terra: Well, that's good to know at least. Anything on who they might be, or where they hail from?

Kanatash: Nothing specific, all they knew is that their master is not from their native plane. Apparently, he arrived and began recruiting an army about 300 years ago Eberron time for some reason involving the planar wars. From what I gathered about him, Volrath's hybrid idea seem most plausible.

Terra: How could I possibly have missed this group so completely?

Kanatash: I don't think this cult even resides in Eberron...
Rei32491

05-10-06, 05:57 PM		Volrath, Nalfein, and Cuddles are in Volraths room. Nalfein is standing in the middle of a sigil.

Nalfein: Ok, now are you sure this will work?

Volrath: ... kinda...

Nalfein: Oh, I'm just briming with confidance.

Volrath: Ok now hold still.

Nalfein: Ok, wait, one last thing. Cuddles, go have your fun with the red-shirts.

Cuddles: Exellent.

Volrath: Ok ready?

Nalfein: Yes.

Volrath begins chanting and the sigil starts glowing.

Nalfein's vision starts bluring and everything goes dark...
Endless_Helix

05-10-06, 08:57 PM		Call me Ishmael,

I, being a clerk in a small accounting firm in Fairhaven, decided that my talents didn't lie there anymore. I craved the adventure and romance of living the life of an outlaw. Sailing through the sky, raiding the cloud galleons, throwing caution to the winds and loving it. It sung to my heart sweet melodies of quintessence.

I heard by chance that a small airship was hiring deck hands. It was a name I had heard in passing as a pirate vessel, and thus I hurried over to the sky dock. The ship was, well, more like a small floating island than anything I'd ever seen sailing the stars. It seemed like there may have been an airship beneath all the haphazard piles of new construction at one point. It was roughly spherical in nature and had a humongously spiked keel. If I wasn't so shocked, I'd have laughed.

I spoke to the man I assumed was captain, Jarlot was his name. He was worse for the drink at the time, and seemed to confuse me for an aquaintance of his named "Sephiroth". He attempted to take a swing at me with a sword so ridiculously large that it could have replaced Our good queen Aurala's Dining room table! Fortunatly, the alcohol he had imbibed managed to blur his vision and he hit a pole instead. The pole was thoroughly destroyed.

After that a disturbingly cheerful girl came up to me and led me away from the drunkard captain, apologizing for his conduct and asking me what buisness I had with this fine vessel. I explained to her my ardent lust for adventure and desire to hire on as a cabin hand. She looked faint and suggested that I look elsewhere, but I stood firm. It should also be noted that no other ships in port were interested in me.

I was ushered to a small office, which what it lacked in decor was made up in the strangeness of the occupant. He was sort of transparent, and appeared to made of chaos itself. His eyes spoke of worlds beyond human comprehension. He introduced himself as Kanatash, and proceeded to ask me about my relations with animals, my parents, Jaela Daran, and many more. Then he asked me my opinion of "lemony freshness"; I was befuddled.

When the interview had finished, he told me to find myself a piece of floor to sleep on. In doing this, I lost my valuables to a strange half-orc named "Doog" or "Dooj"; He answers to both. He threatened me with an intimidating chain, with very prominant spikes, often spattered with gore. In the end, I found a place near a corner (a rare find) and managed to scrounge some rags to sleep in.

That is the story of my hiring on as a redshirt on the Forgotten Freedom.

00C:
Ishmael, Human Artificer 1/Fighter 1
The newest recruit to the redshirt battalions, he came from an accounting house in Fairhaven and was noted for his quiet, introspective disposition. Everyone was surprised when he didn't show up for work the next day and they read his first letter, but noone actually cared. He had a small talent for the creation and mantinence of machines and had fought in the Last War as a guardsmen, but his regiment was dissolved when there were only four men left. He spends most of his time flinching and scribbling in his notebook in illegible handwriting.
urial angel of death

05-10-06, 09:58 PM		OOC: Remember on the outside, without extra appendages, Volrath looks like a boy in his early teens.

IC:
Volrath walks up to Ishmael.
Volrath: Hello man, let me show you around.
Ishmael: Why a lad of your age, must be a cabin boy.
Volrath: I am no cabin boy. If you call me such again, you'll be wearing your feet as mittens. I'll have you know I'm the librarian. Now that I think about it the library is probably where we should start.
Ishmael's vision blurs. When it clears, he sees a mess of bookshelves arranged in impossible angles. Each one of these bookshelves has an almost translucent plate of some material over it over it. On these plates are key holes and unidentifiable runes.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-10-06, 10:08 PM		Slip watches Terra as she paces on deck in the early morning. Sa’vor had asked her to keep an eye on her, but it was becoming increasingly clear that she was not the real threat. Even though she knew Terra could sense her, she got no indications she was unwanted.

???: Lana…

A haunting voice floats through the air. An elven man in black armor appears on deck a short distance from Terra.

???: My, how you've grown. And it seems you’ve killed Haru, as well. Quite the feat. (shakes his head) Stupid boy, always talking about the clan. No ability to see the grander scheme of things. He was a powerful fighter, yes, but an idiot when it came to strategy. I have-

Terra: (cutting him off) What do you want with me?

???: What? Not in the mood for catching up? It’s been centuries, my daughter. Don’t you want do give your daddy a big hug?

Terra: (coldly) Answer the question.

???: If I answer, would you consider coming peacefully?

Terra: No.

???: (chuckling) Headstrong, just like your mother. Very well. Our master granted me great power, and I promised your soul in return. He only got a taste before that foolish mother of yours got in the way.

Terra: (slightly unnerved by the straight answer) And the village? How did I get there?

???: So you ended up in a populated area? That was most unfortunate for you. It was the result of a resurrection spell gone wrong. The energies present in the summoning room mixed badly and sent you to the Material Plane in a kind of makeshift Wish spell. You wanted to get away, so it sent you away. And, so it seems, you wanted to forget, so you forgot.

Terra: Sent me to Material Plane? Where were we before?

???: You’re just full of questions, aren’t you? Our home is on the Plane of Shadow.

Terra: That doesn’t make any sense. There is no color in that plane, but I remember them vividly.

???: I believe that’s a side effect of you living here so long. The colorless nature of the Plane of Shadow is disturbing to those unaccustomed to it. Your mind simply filled in what it thought was appropriate.

Terra: I’ll have to take you word on that one. Still…why now? Why wait all this time to come for me?

???: We were unaware the resurrection spell had succeeded until you began traveling the planes with the Daelkyr half-breed. Unfortunately, the ritual must be performed under specific conditions. We left you to gain power here while we waited for our next opportunity.

Terra: What is this ritual? What do you hope to accomplish?

???: That I cannot tell you yet. Suffice it to say, our master wants to use you as his avatar, and he is most eager to finish what he started. Apparently, your soul was…oh, how did he put it…ah yes, “exquisite.”

Terra: I’m afraid I’m still going to have to disappoint you. I have no interest in becoming some demon’s new home.

???: You have little choice. Why do you think I would tell you all this so easily? Because I know you cannot refuse. I have but to speak my name and you will happily return to our master.

Terra: What does your name have to do with-

???: Halester.

A strong magical force assails her, emanating from her right hand. Looking down, the gem she had found in the cottage lay embedded in her right wrist. How it had gotten there was beyond her. The Ioun stone released its spell: Dominate Person. Slip uncloaks and tries to stop him, but finds herself unable to move. On the deck, she can see her shadow is being pinned by other shadows. Halester turns to her.

Halester: You thought I wouldn’t notice you? What, exactly, could you do with what you have learned here? It really only has value to my daughter. Our home is long since abandoned, and you cannot follow me, so you have no hope of either finding or stopping us.

Not-Walter appears from Terra’s cloak as she resists the spell and leaps at him, trying to defend his master. The shadows reach up and grab him as well, pinning him to the deck. As she starts to succumb, Terra manages a few words.

Terra: (strained) B-bastard. You won’t get away with this…

Halester: Ah, but I already have.

As the spell finally succeeds, Terra’s arms fall to her sides, her eyes expressionless. Halester turns to Slip and causes the shadows around her to rise. With incredible strength, they grab her legs and slam her through the deck. As she lay stunned, Halester walks up to Terra.

Halester: Now that that is taken care of…come, we have much to do.

He grabs her hand and they disappear into the nearest shadow. Several crewmembers run up on deck to investigate, only to see a distraught looking Not-Walter running franticly about the deck.
Rei32491

05-10-06, 10:44 PM		Nalfein's vision clears, and he finds himself in a hallway with one door next to him.

Nalfein: Oooooook, now where did Volrath tell me to go?

(Flashback)

Volrath: Ok, Nalfein, to get to Greyhawk, you need to get the ... got that?

Nalfein: (Tuning him out) Yeah...

Volrath: ...

(End flashback)

Nalfein: ... god dammit. (he puts his hands into his pocket) Wait, what's this?

He unfolds a piece of paper.

(In Volrath's handwriting) I knew that you weren't listening to me, so I put this in your pocket. Now to get to Greyhawk get the Greyhawk Campaign Setting book, open it up and hold on...

Nalfein: Ok. Now where is it...

He stands up and hears some people talking behind the door.

Nalfein: What in the...(he opens the door) Oh no, ITS A D&D CONVENTION!!!

Nerd: Hey, want to play D&D with us?

Nalfein: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!

As he says this Nalfein throws down a fireball and runs to a door on his right.

Nalfein: (once he closed the door) *huff* *huff* That was clos- (he looks up)... OH GODS, LARPERS!!!

Larper: Hey! A new guy! GET HIM!

Nalfein: HOLY CRAP!!!

He then runs back to the nerd room and locks the door behind him.

Nalfein: (to himself) Nerds are better, nerds are better.

DM Nerd: You burned my Charater sheets!

He then starts pelting Nalfein with his dice.

Nalfein: (starts runing) I AM SO GETTING VOLRATH FOR THIS!!!

He soon runs into a bookshelf, sending a cascade of pointy edges at him. One drops into his lap.

Nalfein: Ow...(looks at it) YES! GREYHAWK!

He opens up the book, and once agian his vision blurs and everything goes dark...
JakeQuistis

05-11-06, 12:28 AM		Allen's Log, Journeydate 02
On this day, I found an interesting tree that has brown fruit filled with a red nectar that tastes similar to blood. This may be because the tree's main food source is humans. Fortunately, they have recognized that I was no human after I managed to destroy several of them. I hope to soon forget about my troublesome times on the Forgotten Freedom, as I had felt my thoughts were being affected by the chaos on it. Inventing a giant pilotable warforged? What was I thinking at the time?

Allen's Log, Journeydate 05
I found a village today, filled with nearly naked women, all of which were at least as beautiful as the most beautiful women I had seen before coming here. Ironically, all of the men are homely, as though a curse was laid on this land, making the most beautiful women seek out the most homely of men. They do not seem to know what the Forgotten Freedom is yet, and also do not seem to know much of what occurs outside their land. It's as though this place was created only a few days ago, although the land itself appears to have existed the same amount of time as everything else in Eberron. Perhaps this is an example of something I read once, where things have appeared suddenly, and then have existed for years in the next moment. I shall continue my journey to this place the natives call Kanpai, perhaps it would be a good base for my operations here.
rampant

05-11-06, 02:21 AM		Satnak - TIme to crush these bastards No one messes with our crew except us.

Sa'vor - The legion is ready

Death paper - The acorn knights offer their aid.

Kanatash - Why is the raving lunatic in charge?

Slip - Arm from your masters' worst nightmares ring a bell?

Lisa - I'm going too.

Satnak - Cute, she thinks I'm offering a choice.

Satnak approaches the spot where terra dissapeared, and rips reality itself wide open.

Satnak - Battle stations people its time for an ass-whuping.

Sa'vor - she's gonna pull the whole ship through isn't she?

Kanatash - Apparently.

Slip - can she do that?

Andrea - The girl can break just about anything, putting it back together when she's through tearing collosal portals in space-time is gonna be our job.

Tifa - I don't like that look in her eye.

Marish - I don't like HER.

Norbaz - THink about it, this ship insane as it is, is the closest thing to a home she has, its the same for a lot of us. She's an arrogant, demanding, bossy, ***** who tosses us around like ragdolls. On the upside she is OUR arrogant, demanding, bossy, ***** and we are HER ragdolls. There will be painful deaths this night.

Chalky - I will be taking notes then.

Tifa - Jarlot sweetie it just hit the fan.

Jarlot - I know thats why I'm gonna go get drunk and find my flamingo. I need a back up weapon incase i get swallowed or something.

Ketler - I might almost have a specter of pity for this halester guy.

Micheal - Save it ficer.

Doog - I know that look, thats her "oh-ho-ho-ho you pathetic little worm you can only begin to understand the pain I'm about to inflict look"

The forgotten freedom dissapears from the skies of of eberron and the world cheers its undoubtly breif respite.

The airship is now barely visible over the realm of shadows. The darkness shudders.

Halester - Oh crud.

Terra - I honestly didn't know she could do that.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-11-06, 03:11 AM		OOC: Taking a page out of Charles Phipps book: Since this is my story arc, I'm going to assert some quasi-DM authority here. I still have too much to do for it to end so suddenly. Sorry rampant.

IC:

Halester: I really hate that arm. They will not take you form me so easily, though. You have yet to fulfill your purpose.

Terra simply nods, and the two disappear into the very fabric of the plane as a full legion of Vrocks and Glabrezu decend upon the ship. By the time the demons are destroyed, there is no sign of either of them.
rampant

05-11-06, 04:26 AM		Satnak - Okay you wanna play that way huh? Jarlot your up.

Jarlot - Ok you bilgerats, its time to pillage, it'll be just like the old days before people learned to just leave their gold on the doorstep, leave no two stones standing burn, pillage, and take everything thats not bolted down AND and already on fire, then smash that and take the pieces. They want time, lets not waste ours.

Crew Yoho yoho +random cheering
(crew begins singing pirate songs in excitement)

Satnak - What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Mickey - Yohoho and a bottle of rum.

Micheal - Its a pirate's life for me.

Andrea - 16 men on a dead mans chest.

Devon - The shining sails and roaring gales... aAAAAAAHHHh boots

Hunter - And old black morgan said/you'll soon wish to be dead.
urial angel of death

05-11-06, 07:23 AM		Ishmael feels reality fold in on itself.
Ishmael: What was that?
Volrath: Probably something Satnak did. Now this way to the good alined crew member area.
In front of them is a hallway containing three door.
Volrath: There's Lisa, Aerith, and one spare room.
Ishmael: Well this is disheartening...(ackward silence) Why have you been guiding me? On this trip alone, I saw you eat twelve redshirts. This relative kindness seems completely out of you nature.
Volrath: I had a bet with my new "sister in-law". She thought I couldn't do even on single unselfish deed.
Ishmael: How much did she bet?
Volrath: 5000gp.
Ishmael: But isn't it the gold motivating you. That would mean this doesn't count.
Volrath: ...Damn her! I'm going to-(pause in mid sentence) Terra's in trouble.
Volrath runs off leaving Ishmael in one of the only safe places in the entire ship.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-11-06, 10:59 AM		???: What is the situation?

Halester: The Deicide managed to enter this plane, bringing the entire crew with her. I felt it best to retreat at the time.

???: That is unfortunate. We may have to use her earlier than expected. Take her back and begin exterminating the pests.

Halester: But master! She may break out of my enchantment!

???: That is why I'm asking you to do this while she still obeys you. Forcing her to kill off some of her friends may break her. We need a willing subject for the next phase, and because of those pirates, we don't have time to break her in the proper fashion.

Halester: ...as you wish.

Back on the Forgotten Freedom, the battle suddenly becomes much harder. The random attacks have begun to coordinate, attacking the more vulnerable crew and avoiding Satnak at all costs. Unnoticed, Halester stands a ways from the ship, directing the assault. Terra appears inside the ship, wreathed in a black aura that seems to turn light itself in its heels. Two half-dragons attempt to subdue her, but are stopped dead in their tracks as she pins their shadows to the ground. They stand there frozen and helpless as she walks past them.

Halester: (telepathically) What are you doing, Lana? I told you to kill all who got in your way!

Terra hesitates, her will trying to reassert itself, but she is unable to disobey his command. She summarily beheads the first one and guts the second. They fall to the ground as she releases her hold on them and continues down the corridor.

OOC: Ok, you guys can do pretty much what you want, just don't kill/capture Halester, the demon, or kill/capture/free Terra. I've got those covered. I'll continue this after I get back this evening.
rampant

05-11-06, 03:19 PM		Satnak - FIGHT ME!!!

Various minions - NO WAY IN HELL.

Satnak - Well then pay the price.

Satnak - Jumps from the Forgotten freedom to the surface of the shadow realm and slams into the ground with incalculable fury. An entire city simply didsintigrates under the force of the shock wave.

MInions - Oh crap there goes our homes.

-------

Halester - Did i mention I hate her.

------

As satnak seeks a nice hill to jump back to the FF from she comes upon a medium sized keep.

Satnak - Lets see if any one is home.

As she explores she fins a lavish home with a few easily dispatched gaurdians and Traps.
She find in the center an armory With a suit of MIthril full-plate with adamantine spikes and a wicked gauntlet for the right hand.

Satnak - NIce I'll take it. OOh and this Ruby is nice.

As satnak leaves the keep in her new armor the ruby glows and the keep vanishes.

Satnak - hhhmmmmm

She places the ruby on the ground, steps back and thinks of the keep.
It reappears only now centered where she set the ruby.
Once again she enters, but finds no gaurdians and the traps sre still non-functional.
Again she enters the treasury and finds the ruby.
This time she pockets it and leaves to find a nice hill.

Satnak - Good as spot As I'm gonna find for now. *Leap*
Hey guys miss me?

Crew - YES!

Minions - NO!

Satnak - Die then.

Satnak begins one of her famous rampages. Now with new sound effects in addition to previous master pieces such as "My spiiiiine" and "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH", this new version comes with "Oh gods the spikes" and the ever popular "that doesn't go there you psycho bitYEAAAAARGH"

-------

Halaster - She stole my entire freaking house!!! I really truly hate her.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-11-06, 04:43 PM		OOC: Yay, they changed the date of the upgrade! Now I can keep posting my serious story.

IC: Reserved for next part of story.
Charles Phipps

05-11-06, 04:55 PM		OOC: Taking a page out of Charles Phipps book: Since this is my story arc, I'm going to assert some quasi-DM authority here. I still have too much to do for it to end so suddenly. Sorry rampant.

I heatily approve. Sometimes, the storyline MUST go on ;-)
urial angel of death

05-11-06, 05:01 PM		Volrath floats over to the darkness enveloped Terra.
Volrath: Terra, what's wrong?
Terra responds by taking a swing at him.
Volrath: What the hell?!
Terra continues to attack.
Volrath: Terra, I refuse to hurt you.
His attempt at kindness is met by a blast of psionic energy, that tears all the muscle and skin off of his right arm, leaving only bone and stinew. A second blast hits him square in the chest. It burns off the top layer of flesh, to reveal a tangle mess of aberrant organs, puss, and slime. With this Volrath begins to fall.
His vision blurs, and he finds himself in a field of white. In front of him is an adolecent girl. Sprouting from her back are transparent feathery wings.
Girl: Hello little brother.
Volrath: Are you?.. Am I?
Girl: Dead, no silly. I'm just a construct of your mind, to help you. The real me is back in the Clinic for the Metally Distressed.
Volrath: So I'm not dead either.
Girl: No, remember you will always exist. You still have a purpose, right now that is to help your friend. She'll have to over come this herself, but you can do something to help. Remember father's essence.
Volrath: When am I going to snap out of this thing.
Girl: Well, you're going to hit the ground in 5,4,3
Volrath: Nice
Girl:2,1
Volrath is rudely awakened, as he hits the shadow plaen's surface. A dark energy flows over him and blackish-green flesh knits over his wounds. He then transforms into a giant sepentine dragon, bearing only one wing and three bulbous eyes. The creature begins tearing swaths through the armies of minions.
Charles Phipps

05-11-06, 05:14 PM		Jarlot: I need a drink.

Halester: Greetings Captain.

Jarlot: What the Hell....

The Captain has stepped on a pentagram surrounded by EVIL looking marks

Jarlot: That can't be good.

Halester: I'm going to seperate your evil side from your good side and use him as a minion.

Jarlot: Since I'm a Seren I'm going to revert to the Holy Lingo of my People for when we ride the waves. DUDE, that is SOOOO not a cool idea.

Halester: HA! Do you think that I care what a....

*Thunder claps in the sky as demonic children's laughing fills the air while the sun is blotted out by a massive storm, a choir of dread music fills the air*

Jarlot: You know when I tell people I'm the child of the Demon Dragon Queen you THINK they'd listen but....

*a one winged angelic version of Jarlot emerges from the shadow*

Halester: Huhhhhhh....

Jarlot: Exit...stage left. YOINK.

Shadow: I give you thanks Halester for freeing me and giving me a physical form....pathetic to my true form that taking over the body prepared for me should be. I promise you that when I have cleansed all life from the Realm of Eberron that you will be the last to die for this dignity.

*lifts his hands as a GIANT flaming sword appears*

Halester: Fascinating.

***

Aerith: Oooooohhhh dear.

Tifa: What's wrong?

Aerith: Well the Thing I was sort of sent here to prevent has sort of happened.

Tifa: Wait....the Demon Dragon King of Khyber has been reborn?

Aerith: Yeah, sorta.

Tifa: Sweet...two Jarlots!

***

Shadow: I smell.....prey.

Andrea: Stop right where you are!

Shadow: Interesting.

Andrea: Don't think for a second that you're going to do anything on this ship Demon. We've faced down Sutekh, we've been to Xoriat, we've fought the Dreaming Dark, and we've had to survive with Kanatash onboard for years. You're just a Mirror of Opposition reject of Jarlot! So I suggest you realize that Satnak can just will you away or Terra feed you to beattles and just go away.

*Shadow stares at the binding circle he's about to walk into*

Shadow: Tell me Andrea, how long have you been in love with Jarlot....

Andrea: That's ridiculous, I'm not in love with....GET HIM MARISH!

Marish: ROWR!

*The Cat girl shifter leaps upon Shadow's back and tries to push him into the circle*

*He doesn't flinch*

Shadow: If you'd but expressed your feelings little necromancer then he might have realized his love for Brianna was a hopeless cause so long as she was merged with a Solar. You could have found peace, instead you sent your cat to live vicariously the sensual pleasures. It's a pity really...

*Shadow picks up Marish off his back*

Marish: Rowr?

Shadow: Parting is such sweet sorrow.

*Shadow then snaps Marish's neck*

Andrea: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*Andrea fells to the ground*

Shadow: You could say that I'm different from the other threats. I know you all intimately....and I'm much, much, much smarter than you all.

*Andrea stared upwards, barely able to breathe*

SLICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*Andrea's body falls to the ground dead*

***

Jarlot: Damnit....

*he fell to his knees as he struggled to get up, feeling the death of his friend through his bond with the monster*

Jarlot: You'll pay for that you bassssstard.

Shadow's Voice: This is just the beginning.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-11-06, 05:47 PM		( Sa'vor see's Volraths body transported away, and he smiles. time to unleash the powers of the warlock once more. a certain doubt fills him, this one should be played careful, he didnt whant to end up like Volrath)

Sa'vor: Terra, your perhaps close to what i might call a friend. but that wont stop me form bringing all my magic to stop you.

(terra throws back her head and laughs, She readies a blast of energy. but Sa'vors already predicted it, he dispels it. then before she can strike again, Sa'vor forces all his will into terras mind, breaking the barriers within. he see's the Form of Halester, and the power Terra now holds. more than a match for him. Sa'vor grimaces. Terra forces Sa'vor from her mind and shatters the protections on his own, reversing his attack. Sa'vor drops to his knees, he'd expected this. Terra begins to sift through memories, trying to find a weakness, they flow past her in a blur, the emotions all thats portrayed. Hate, Anguish, Pain, Tourture, Loathing, Seethin pain, Envy. She hits a mental wall.)
Terra: well, well well, perhaps this is one of the many secrets that you hide from us. i wonder, could it be somone you love? a bit of magical law? the secret of time? perhaps even your greatest fear?

Sa'vor: you'll have to cut me down Terra. for i'll fight on until every bit of my essence is consumed.

Terra: *evil laugh* very well.
( a huge wave of power crushes the barrier, and an image appears. its one of Slip.)
Terra: this is your great secret? that you have affection for her? how perfetic. where you sealing away your own emotions? afraid of regection? no, its not that. your protecting her, how very nobel. well, looks like your protection has ended.
( Sa'vor grimaced, secretly he reached into the deep eldritch power within him, the pools of psionic might, the vaults of arcane power and the cells of Divine devotion. he drew them up, and unleashed what he had kept at bay for so long. a Wave of Hatred and anger poored from the hiden sectiongs of his mind, form his very soul itself. and darkness covered Sa'vor. deeper than anything the plane of shadows had seen. With a Tsunami of will Sa'vor forced Terra out of his mind and knocked her to the floor. Terra looked up and saw Sa'vors face. the runes and Dragonmarks on his body glowed with black light, the runes on Sa'vors armour glowed ruby red. and from his back sprouted a pair of blackfeatherd wings, like an angels)
Sa'vor: I'd like to finish you off, but i have other things to do.
( he spread his arms and and black fire wreathed his form. Sa'vor then closed his eyes, a burst of Unholy energy and the same black fire that surrounded Sa'vor burst from him. in a four mile radius only the crew of the forgotten freedom stood, along with Terra and the Unharmed Halester. Sa'vor reached out his with his mind to find slip. she was gone. Sa'vor smiled, he'd find her, and when he did, death and unholy vengance would follow. Sa'vor Projeceted one thought to Terra: Who's afraid now? . with that Sa'vor spread his new feathered wings and crashed through the deck of the forgotten freedom. he took wing, flying into the black skys of the plane of shadow.)
Satnak: Come back here you traitor! ( Unleashes a burst from the arm, Sa'vor manipulates the energy so it strikes the ground just by Satnaks feet. then he vanishes).

Naz'roth: this is not good...

Tara: what? whats happened?

Naz'roth: they really shouldnt of done that

Tara: whats going on? wheres he going?

Naz'roth: he's time jumped. about three hundred years ago. he's planning somthing, and its big. they really should have just killed him, it would have been simpler.

Tara: how so?

Naz'roth: well, Sa'vor has this habbit of botteling up and concealing his emotions, imagin all that hate, anger and frustration collecting up for about thirty years. of course Sa'vor turns it into magic, as a resource to be used in extreme situations. that Sa'vor you just saw, well, while i was on Shavarath they had legends of Sa'vors time there. they called the being, either the wander or when it was like this The Black Angel. they say how each of the three sides attacked it, viewing it as an enemy. then they say that it drew of its inner hatred and became this Black winged angel. it struck out, obilterating the forces and raising their corpses as undead monstoricties. it sent out waves of fear and dread before it and feasted on the blood of demon, devil and angel alike. though, Sa'vor was no where near as powerful as he was about a week ago, now on the other hand, with these vast but limited reserves he's going to cause absolute havoc, when he returns, he's not going to be the Sa'vor you know or love even fear. he'll either have doubled his power and calmed down, perhaps even become more serene. or he'll be a ravaging creature that possessing nothing of the self restraint he had before, he'll unleash his power and bloodlust of friend and foe alike. all that will be left will be ash.

Jarlot: well, no use being afraid now. Sa'vors not one to give in to his inner feelings. he'll use them as a tool.

Naz'roth: you dont get it do you? the sa'vor you saw jsut now is unpredictable at best, he'll begin to train up and prepare for three hundred years. he'll keep botteling up his anger and hatred and then he will be truly as a god.the only one i think that could stop him before the anger and hatred of three hundred years ran out would be me, or Kithle.

Ketler: so its like russian roulet but with the capability of destroying everything that exists?

Tara: exactly

Andrea: well, we have a while to figure that out, lets just get on with finding terra.

Dooj: might as well, i've got nothing better to do since the Demon armies are dust.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-11-06, 05:48 PM		( Somwhere in the plane of shadows, three hundred years ago.)
Sa'vor: :evillaugh :evillaugh
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-11-06, 06:02 PM		OOC: Just imagine that some more demons come on board. It will work to be funny:D.

Crow: :eek:

Silver: Oh, great, now Andrea has to decide between Norbaz and Jarlot.

Crow: Oh myself! They killed Marish!

Silver: I seriously hope not. Where else are you going to find quality catgirl jokes?

Crow: I go with Norbaz.

THE MASTER OF NON-EXISTANCE: YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY GETTING SICK OF THIS WHOLE "THE PLANE OF SHADOW IS EVIL". SICK, SICK, SICK! OKAY YOU TWO, TIME FOR THE ULTIMATE MERGER OF MY CONCEPTS. THE SON WILL HAVE TO WAIT.

Silver: Goodbye commentary…

Crow: …hello action scene.

Silver and Crow: And who's the son?
***
On board the FF, the Random Entity from Non-exsitance is not doing anything. There is a warp in the fabric of reality, and then Silver and Crow combine with the Random Entity from Non-exsitance. They create a creature formed of the most basic essence of many things that people hold evil, yet aren't: chaos, cold, death, darkness, etc. It's form looks vaguely like an oriental dragon covered in fur and sporting the head of a canine, but this is only an appearance.

It's voice echoes infinitely.

Dragon: Wake, children of the shaows! It is time to take back your home from those who obey only their minds!

The Plane of Shadows begins to warp and ripple like the surface of an ocean.

Dragon: Too long have you been a source of fear! Now is the time to protect the world!

Great living shapes coalesce from the fabric of the shadow plane, resembling creatures such as bats, mice, and all others that depend upon shadow for life.

Dragon: I am coming for you, demon. The essence of darkness seeks you out. Deep Black seeks you. Are you ready to learn?

Deep Black dissolves into the shadows around him, appearing as a huge storm cloud above the battle on the Forgotten Freedom. The creatures of shadow draw upon their innate powers of deception, confusing the demon hoards. Spell resistance and Will saving throws are no use, for these are the simple tricks of creatures who must do this every day to find food and survive, yet multiplied infinitly by the mirror nature of the plane of shadow. In addition Deep Black flies among the hoards, showing them what true chaos is. Many descend into a catatonic whimpering as their minds cannot understand oblivion.

Crow splits off Deep Black for a second.

Crow: Hey, guys! It doesn't count if you do it to a demon!

The crew gets that gleam in their eye.

Demon hoard: Hey, wait! We're supposed to be the cruel—AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! !!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOT THE POETRY!!!!!
Endless_Helix

05-11-06, 06:41 PM		Fair Reader, I have reason to believe that I have had both my most fortunate moment in my life, and my most unfortunate, in the space of several hours. Volrath, the librarian and apparently far older than his boyish visage of 13, had taken it into his mind that I should be shown around the ship. Nice fellow, wouldn't say a word against him. The place he decided to start me off in was the library. Normally I love libraries, but this one had geometry that never measured up to eberronian standards. This Non-Euclidian, monstrous mausoleum of lexicon had shelves haphazardly placed, in no relation to gravity!

Volrath, as he walked me through the aisles, kindly explained that there were three classes aboard this ship, the "ubers", the most powerful crewmen with the least morals, the "scum", the crewmen with either more morals or no power, and the "redshirts". He himself was of the uber class (or so he claimed) , and I was a lowly redshirt. Redshirts main duties included doing what they were told and dying in the line of duty from what I understood of his speech.

At that moment, he decided that perhaps he couldn't do this, because of a bet, for a rather large sum of money. He left me in a safe dimension, without food or water. I was scared when around lunchtime I realized this. And then the shockwaves began (I learned later that a crewman, the Deicide, had destroyed the better part of a plane). This somehow shot me out of the library, while still in the dimension and through Kanatash who was walking into the library. He was bored, and threw me over the edge of the Forgotten Freedom for my impertinence.

Luckily, the Forgotten Freedom had been enlarged extremely recently, and I rammed through the wall, into a woman's boudoir. Silence, the room's occupant, took the whole issue quite calmly, and frankly, far more leniently than I expected at that point. She explained that she once worked her way throught the ranks to becoming one of the "scum". She looked favorably on my efforts, and despite her awkward syntax, was a very well-spoken young lady. She also told me that I had "like, a chance in hundred billion" of surviving to be among the "scum" class. I thanked her for her honesty, her kind words, and forthrightness, and walked out the hole in her wall in daze. I wonder if all of her piercings hurt?

It seems the redshirts are kept in line by three people. A half orc with a Xen'drixian accent, Klaz Dingbo, seems to act as a dictator over the downtrodden slaves that make up the redshirts. He holds sway with his mysterious "Jaela Picture" (I've no idea what this is a codename for). His right-hand man is a drow, Vrin the pirate drow who follows Herr Dingbo with a strange black box. Their favorite trick is to walk up to someone and spend several minutes talking about their distinctive features, and then punch them. The third is Doog, or Dooj, the half-orc who robbed me on my first day.

On another note, I do believe that Kanatash is experimenting with new torture techniques. Cries of "AAAHH! NO! THE PINE-SCENTED GOODNESS! ANYTHING BUT THAT! YAAAARGH!" and "AIIIYIIIIIEEEEE, THE BANANA BONANZA! NOT THE BANANA BONANZA!" have been heard rather frequently. Hmmm, I do believe that there is slightly more floorspace tonight... I wonder why?
urial angel of death

05-11-06, 07:35 PM		Volrath in his new form has run out of suitable demon prey. (all of the remaining ones being too weak for it to even be sporting) His form seems to fold in on itself, over and over again, until it was the size of a coffin. At which point it burst open, to reveal a very tired and falling Volrath.
Again Volrath finds himself in a field of white
Girl: You did good.
Volrath: Thanks.
Girl: 8,7,6,5,4,3,2
Volrath: Not again.
Girl:1!
Yet again Volrath splams into a surface, but this time it is the Forgotten Freedom.

OOC: Endless Helix, great work! :)
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-11-06, 07:39 PM		OOC: MORE ISHMAEL! MORE ISHMAEL! It's so funny to hear someone outside the structure describe the crew! :rofl:

IC: Sa'vor three-hundred years ago is laughing evilly. Unexpectedly he finds himself confronted by a small fox-like creature, black, with a long tail. It opens it's red, glowing eyes and stares at Sa'vor as if the über's mind and soul are no more than simple pictures.

Creature: What would you do, Sa'vor, to have your family back? What would you give to restore the House of Vol in time? Would you destroy those who hated Errandis? Would you kill elf and dragon alike until only those who could accept a half-dragon lived?

Sa'vor unleashes a simple blast of destructive energy. The creature disintegrates, but it's voice remains.

Voice: How do you see them, Sa'vor, those who could not accpet a half-dragon……………?
Rei32491

05-11-06, 09:02 PM		Nalfein opens his eyes as the darkness clears. He shakes the clouds from his eyes, when he looks up he sees a door.

Nalfein: Wow, I landed really close. Now I wonder what’s behind the door.

He tries the door, but it’s locked.

Nalfein: Da*n, now where’s my spell book.

He reaches into his front pockets, one has his spell book, the other has another piece of paper.

(again in Volrath's handwriting) Ok, Nalfein, I know how to get past this door. Yes, I know where you are. All you need to do is cast Greater Dispel magic then knock to open the door. But there is a problem. Past the door is an Arcana Loth (A.L). Now, I know that it will most likely kill you, but I put something into your far back left pocket that will help.

He reaches into the pocket and pulls out a mace with a reptilian head at the end of it. Instead of spikes are horns from the creature. After Nalfein looks at it for a moment, he spots a sticky note.

(Note) If you break this, I will make you experience more hells then exist on this plane or any other.

Nalfein: Ooook...

He casts the spells, and then slowly opens the door. He sees a humanoid jackal wearing a plain robe. Nalfein looks past him to see what its reading and sees its copy of Book of the Stilled Tongue.

Nalfein: Well great.

The A.L hears him and turns around with a staff in hand.

A.L: How dare you enter my sanctum! You will die for this puny mortal.

Nalfein: I am not leaving without that book.

A.L: Then you shall not leave here alive.

The A.L fires a barrage of Magic Missiles at Nalfein.

Nalfein: Dimension Door!

As he disappears the Magic Missiles stop where he was.

A.L: Dammit!

The A.L looks behind him expecting Nalfein to appear behind him, then all of a sudden Nalfein appears right in front of the A.L, and slaps the shoulder joints and the hip joints, then casts dimension door again.

A.L: Son of a-

Before he finishes Nalfein appears above him and slaps the sides of the A.L's head, and disappears again. Nalfein then appears behind the A.L, slapping the back of the shoulder and hip joints and then tries to use dimension door again, but the A.L figured that Nalfein would be back there. So he had started to swing his poisoned claw behind him even before Nalfein had appeared. The claw connected right after Nalfein had slapped him, and the claw tears a huge hole up the side of Nalfein's leg. Nalfein is thrown to the side from the impact while screaming in pain. Right before he hits the ground the magic missiles from the start of the battle come and blast him across the room. When Nalfein realizes that he is moving fast toward the floor, he throws out one of his hands to try to soften the impact, but he is moving so fast that a large chunk of flesh is torn off his hand. He tries to scream but hits the floor and all the wind is knocked out of him.

Nalfein: Well *hacks up some blood* that could have gone better.

As soon as the A.L starts approaching him, Nalfein looks up at it and smiles.

A.L: Why are you smiling? You have lost and I have won. Now I am going to cause you so much pain that you will wish for death.

Nalfein: (still smiling) God you’re stupid.

As he says this he hold out his hand and closes it. The A.L is then caught up in a huge explosion of fire.

Nalfein: You didn't even notice that I was laying delayed blast fireballs on you. You’re supposed to be smart, shame on you.

A.L: YOU BASTARD! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!

The A.L starts to lift up his staff to jam it into Nalfein's injured leg. Before he can, Nalfein takes the Mace with his good hand and flings it at one of the A.L's legs. As it wraps around the leg, Nalfein pulls back as hard as he can. The A.L, caught by surprise, is thrown down and hits the spot on the floor where Nalfeins hand first hit, then a large cloud of brown gas start to encircle the A.L.

A.L: HOW?!

Nalfein: 2nd edition Hoard wilting spell trap, bit*h!

As the A.L finally dissolves, Nalfein breaths a sigh of relief.

Nalfein: Finally.

He then casts healing spells to get rid of the poison in his leg and to close up the rest of his wounds. He then stands up and relocks the door, then he slumps to the floor, falling into a deep sleep.
Endless_Helix

05-11-06, 09:03 PM		Apparently, the good captain Jarlot has gone insane. I am told by the rest of the redshirts that this isn't an entirely uncommon occurance. Last week he was fighting off multiple personalities, claiming to be a bat shifter, someone named "Chuck Norris", and someone named "Mr.T". And before that he made one million Jaela Daran Clones and somehow managed to make them "ninja". I wonder what that means?

However, one thing I'm finding out onboard this ship is that knowing too much is rather deadly. I came to this realization when I had the misfourtune of walking in on one of Kanatash's torturing experiments. I shall not go into detail, but he was extremely interested in some of the properties of limes.

This time, he is ranting and claiming to be something called Shadow. Aerith, the joyful young woman who greeted my inquiries, seemed somewhat depressed. I gather that this time Jarlot has killed Marish, who I only saw once, and Andrea, whom I never had the pleasure of meeting. Apparently this is also a common occurance. Doog, or Dooj, is apparently on his 25th or 26th body. He can't recall. So it seems likely that both the dead parties will be up and around in a few days.

One bastion of sanity is the Keel. John was awakened when Ketler, the ship's artificier (whom I never had the honor to meet), got extremely inebriated and started fooling around with a wand of awaken. The result is John, the awakened dire keel. Apparently he is supposed to be the item that makes the keel-hauling actually painful. He has ten-foot adamantine spikes that are nailed to him, that are enhanced against all humanoids, and he can cast a variety of spells, most notably the legendary Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke. Despite his reason for existence he has found peace and inner strength. It is hard to describe the feeling of rightness one gets when he speaks to help people. He has an almost deific quality, of the limitless perfection. The rest of the redshirts tell me it's a phase every redshirt goes through, listening to the keel out of their own free will.

I have finally completed a satisfactory defense system around my corner. It uses rope trick to transport the interlopers into a small extra-dimensional pocket, and then fires three fireballs simultaneously into the pocket, immolating any of the redshirts and possibly some of the scum who were foolish enough to try to enter my abode without my permission. If anyone can break that defence, frankly, I'm already dead anyway. The good news is I can begin to think about furnishing my domain!

This led me to some of the scum's rooms. I was surprised and bemused at finding a stuffed bear sawing wood. I surmised that it was some kind of golem or similar construct. I was fortunate in Klaz's inadvertant comment about this sentient. It appears that anyone who has slighted it in the past has found an abnormal amount of splinters run their way. I was eavesdropping, so the comment wasn't directed towords me. I heeded it's warning anyway. Unfortunately, it appeared to be in a bad mood and offered me the option of leaving or dying a slow, splintery death. I opted for the former.

Apparently one of the scum has noticed that I exist. A young man named Devon has asked if he could read me his poetry on the morrow. I, being a connesseur of poetry, heartily agreed. I do hope it is good. As a side note. It appears that Jarlot is coming my way. I think I must run now-

OOC: Ishmael has attained fourth level, hitting his third level of artificer. This is from surviving many terrible, terrible things.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-11-06, 09:45 PM		OOC: Jeez. I said do what you want, but wow! Nice work so far. I think I just had a better idea than my original...

IC:

Surviving her encounter with Sa'vor, Terra continued through the ship. Halester's voice egged her on, but she felt less and less inclined to do so. She could hear another voice, seeming to be her own, frantically trying to stop her. Ignoring it, she turned the corner to see Lisa with her sword drawn, having just smited one of the remaining demons.

Terra (inner): Don't you :censored: ing dare...

Halester: Do it! Strike her down like you have all the others!

Lisa turns to see Terra staring at her. Uncertain of what to do, she tries to speak to her.

Lisa: You're not like this, Terra. Please, come back to us...

Terra sneers softly and forms a mindblade. She attacks Lisa, striking her sword as she defends herself. Terra pulls back and strikes again, this time swiping at her sword. The blade shatters, a shard cutting Lisa across the cheek. Terra pulls back for the death blow, but stops only centimeters short of her neck. Lisa glances up at Terra and sees a look of pure fury across her face. She soon discovers it is not directed at her...

Terra: Unforgivable...

Lisa: What?

Terra: (closes her eyes and shakes her head) Unforgiveable... Unforgiveable...

Lisa: Are you ok?

Terra: ABSOLUTELY UNFORGIVABLE!!!!

In a blast of fury, a good 50 foot radius of the ship around Terra is vaporized (sans Lisa). The shadows reach up and carry Lisa to the floor below as Terra disappears in a rage.

OOC: Ooooo, I'm gonna have fun with this... :schemes:
Charles Phipps

05-11-06, 09:59 PM		OOC: Ishmael rocks.

Jarlot: I need all of the power you can give me...

Aerith: Shouldn't you join the others in fighting him?

Jarlot: Shadow can't be beaten by numbers.

Aerith: Real life doesn't work like that...

Jarlot: Real life doesn't include epic levels. I need to get powered up before Volrath discoveries Andrea has been killed.

***

*On the deck of the Forgotten Freedom*

Ketler: YOU MURDERER! YOU KILLED MARISH!

Shadow: I'll kill far more before I'm done here. You could perhaps prolong your pitiful little life by agreeing to serve me.

Ketler: GET EM GUYS!

*Michael, Stupid, Doog, and Lisa charge Shadow*[/b]

Shadow: How pitiful....

*Shadow makes an explosive rune on Stupid's head before the back of the warforge's head was blown out before his parts were scattered across the deck*

Doog: DIE!

*The half-orc before his club was causally blocked by an offhanded blow from Shadow. Shadow's blow then blocked Michael's own blade that he used to deflect Lisa's swordsmanship before causally backflipping and throwing all three to the ground.*

Shadow: The fools in the Quori and the Daelkyr and the Lords of Dust think that they rule this world. I'm here to prove them wrong.

Doog: EHHH SHUDAP! I've finally got a Ketler invention I like.

*Doog lifts up a minigun very similiar to the one from Predator*

Doog: See you in the Deadlands anyxhole!

*Shadow is fired upon by the minigun that RIPS into the ship and deck as five thousand rounds pour out while the ammo fires for nearly half a minute*

Shadow: I'm afraid guns don't work on me. My skins a little thick for them....

*Shadow waved his sword as an artificial windstorm was generated that sent Doog flying over the edge of the Forgotten Freedom*

Michael: DOOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Shadow: Oh please Michael, like you care about what happens to that pitiful half-orc? You couldn't care about his feelings enough to let him down even as you futilely lusted after a woman who could never love you.

Michael: SHUT UP! HE WAS MY FRIEND!

Shadow: Accent on the was....

Michael: You may look like Jarlot but I doubt you've got his pain tolerance! I'm going to send you to a Hell that you won't be able to escape!

Lisa: No, he's mine!

*Lisa charged even as the armored Shadow grabbed her sword blade between his fingertips*

Shadow: And if it isn't the false paladin? The one whom makes love to a man she feels nothing but a vague attraction for even as she indulges herself with the druid whose connection is far stronger because...she feels some need to make up for the excesses of her church?

*Shadow's eyes stared into her*

Shadow: Perhaps I will enjoy showing you the pleasures Michael never could...

Lisa: I...I...GET OUT OF MY MIND!

Shadow: Yes, as if I'd ever lower myself to sleep with trash like yourself.

*he brought back his flaming katana to impale her even as Michael then stepped in front of it as the Blackguard stared, his unholy sword shattering along with his unholy armor as he fell backwards into Lisa's arms*

Shadow: Hmmm...apparently he did love you. Curious.

*The Demonic Half-God then causally sheathed his blade as he walked away, Michael bleeding horribly from his burning wound as Lisa held him*

Shadow: Who next?

***

Q'Barra

A chicken coup

Doog: *spits out some hay* Ah hell....
rampant

05-11-06, 10:49 PM		Satnak - I can't fail again.

I am mortal, I am wrath, I am pride, I am vainity, I am sloth, I am lust, I am envy, and I will not be denied.

Realm of shadows seek your home in the heart of mortal kind, all who do not aid will be destroyed.

UNBIND THE SECOND KEY.



THe dark enerhy of the shadow plane whirls around Satnak and cracks appear in the cratr where she struck earlier. A great rising column of shadow pours forth, as the initial surge dies a black shining sphere is revealed. The core of thee world of shadows.

Satnak - With this I will save them or destroy this world trying. I may not have garunteed our victory, but at least they will lose.

Satnak - Leaps into the skies once more and into the orb.

----------

Shadow - Whats this a bug.

Squishy - Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap

Shadow reaches for the little abberation, and his arm is thrown clear off by a flicker of movement.

Satnak - THIS ENDS NOW!

Shadow - if it isn't thHURK

Satnak - SHUT UP, squishy get these people to the infirmiry and tell aerith to get to work.

Stalks off holding Shadow by his busted guts, and arm.

----------

Jarlot - THis feeling can't be anything but trouble.

Satnak enters

Satnak - AERITH INFIRMIRY,

Aerith dashes off to the med ward with a look of abject terror.

Jarlot - What happened to you?

Satnak - I've discovered the essences of light and darkness as they exist in every mortal heart and soul seperate from good and evil. I failed to protect so many, and now I have your little friend.

Jarlot - What did you do to him?

Satnak - Kanatash does not have the required vocabulary to describe it. Now KISS AND MAKE UP!

The enraged deicide mashes the reemnants of shadow into jarlot and whatches the chaotic wheeling energies recombine into Jarlot.

---------

Lisa's bed at the infirmary

The still sheathed sword of suhtek flies into its owner's hand and revives her.

Lisa - What the- You (glares accusingly at the now unsheathed blade in her hand)

Sword responds with empathic calls to be used against the darkness overwhelming the ship and to aid the call of the heart.

Lisa gets up grabs her repaired gear and takes up her war hammer in her other hand.
---------

Satnak - I will find you halaster, and you demon you can't hide from me any longer. LIsa your up already good make sure no one else dies here, follow once you have the ship secured, the captain is gonna be out for a while, whith shadow down I don't know whats gonna happen to slip, but its gonna happen soon, so sa'vor's reaction should follow. Terra is down there trying to fight whats happening, and volrath has been captured.

And again satnak leaps to the surface this time dissapearing utterly and none can tell where she lands.

----------

Halaster - this is fear
Charles Phipps

05-11-06, 11:21 PM		OOC: Great work Satnak. I love your stuff as always. Very dramatic stuff. However....ending plots just doesn't seem to be Satnak's specialty. :sigh:

Jarlot: Thank you....Satnak.

Satnak: What the...you should be out cold.

Jarlot: You are ever the hero who tries the hardest and struggles the greatest to put the world to right. However, when it boils down to it...you can never win the battle that must be fought by others.

Satnak: You're...Shadow....

Jarlot: Now bound in my true form and more powerful than the GODS!

Aerith: Oh Silver Flame no....

*Jarlot lifts his sword*

Jarlot: I COMMAND THE DARK GATE TO OPEN!

*The tear from reality from earlier strats to open once more to Xoriat*

*Kanatash teleports in*

Kanatash: What do you think you're doing.

Jarlot: I've decided to do some redecorating to the universe. I am the Child of Khyber but I only know of the Light of the Dragon Above by Jarlot and the Dragon Between through my pathetic mortal life here. There is much beyond the Celestial Dragons though and I intend to have it all. I have absorbed the essences of that Necromancer and when I slay the others I'll have your knowledge too. Then I will break down this world to remake to my liking with the power of the gods.

Kanatash: Worm. TASTE THE DARKNESS BEYOND!

*Kanatash then blasts Shadow possessing Jarlot with the full taste of his powers*

Jarlot: HA! It didn't work last time because I am Chaos and Darkness incarnate. I have no name for Satnak to bind! You cannot drive insane the true Horror beyond! Your masters are a pale shadow of my glory.

Kanatash: They shall soon teach you differently.

Jarlot: I think not. For this body was designed for the one way to destroy a Daelkyr Forever. BY ABSORBING THEIR ESSENCE!

*The Gate begins pouring the black monsters and horrors into Jarlot's body directly*

Jarlot: Prepare to taste OBLIVION.

*he lifts his blade to kill Aerith*

Tifa: MASTER NO!

Jarlot: INSECT!

*he channels forth black lightning from his fingertips to electrocute her*

*Tifa...hits...the ground*

Jarlot: Consider that a divorce.

Aerith: I know there is good within you! I know you can't be surrendered to evil completely. Jarlot, I love you!

*Jarlot then shoves his sword behind him and stabs Aerith*

Jarlot: And what a stupid thing for you that was.

***

Jarlot: YOU BASTA***!

Shadow: I am sick of seeing you in the mirror every day pathetic and pitiful human soul.

Jarlot: I won't let you kill her or any other member of my crew!

Shadow: What do you think this is? One of Ketler's ridiculous animated dramas? Perhaps a story book? NO, it is pain and suffering and this is life. You're a drunk and a lech and I am the god. In real life, the strong are victorious and then justified by history.

Jarlot: Shut up and fight.

*Jarlot unfolds his mechanical broadsword*

Shadow: I shall burn the flesh of your bones without....

*Jarlot stabs himself through the chest*

Shadow: Oh....

***

*The Dark Gate Closes*

Jarlot: *coughs up blood*

Tifa: *moaning* I knew you...had it in you...master.

Jarlot: Terra has a lot to pay for when this is over...

Aerith: I feel myself...fading...

*Aerith's body turns into flames of gold*

Jarlot: The damage from all this has damaged the ship...we can't stay afloat much longer. We'll jut keep going faster and lower until we crash....
Kaizer_Ryu

05-11-06, 11:23 PM		Halester stands in confusion as his connection with his daughter is severed. The very air around him begins to pulse as he realizes what has happened. He quickly warps to the side as shadow spikes shred the space he was in. Terra appears before him, holding a broken gem in her hands.

Terra: (crushing the gem into powder) I'll have to thank Sa'vor when he returns. Because of that blast, I'm free of your little spell.

Her eyes burn with the fires of hate. The world around her warps as she gathers her power to destroy him.

Halester: Those pirates are more trouble than they're worth!

Terra strikes at him with the fury of a woman scorned (NEVER mess with this kind of woman :D ). He is thrown back several hundred meters, his left arm completely destroyed. Terra appears behind him in midair, sending another withering blast at him, removing the skin from around his face and burning out his right eye. His screams of agony can be heard for miles around as she continues to strip him of limbs and flesh. He finally hits the ground, bleeding, burned, and literally half the man he used to be.

Halester: *cough* *gurgle*

Terra: Your suffering has only just begun, father. I will make you pay ten thousand fold for what you made me do!

She readies to strike him again, but another shadow wraps around him and pulls him into the darkness.

Terra: So, he has decided to take action. This should be interesting...
Kaizer_Ryu

05-11-06, 11:54 PM		Somewhere within a shrine in the Plane of Shadow...

???: Imbecile! You have failed again to secure my prize!

Halester: *cough* Please...forgive me...

???: I will not kill you yet. I still have need of you.

The demon thrusts his hands into what is left of Halester, fusing with him and restoring his body to...almost it's original state. He is now far more demonic in form, his eyes seem to lead to the pits of Shavarath. A second pair of arms sprout from his back, ending in claws, and horns sprout from the back of his head, curling downwards.

???: I am Theronas, destined to be the greatest of the Demon Lords! You will not escape me again!

He disappears from the shrine, and the plane seems to cry out in pain as he moves through it.
rampant

05-12-06, 01:27 AM		Satnak - Earl Kanatash we gotta save the ship.

Satnak and kanatash focus their will and begin slowing the ship's descent via TK. Earl on the other hand unleashes a nifty little trick.

Earl - I call this one *Polaris Boost*

The crafty elemental alternates fire and frost and the massive enrgy given off by the extreme changes in temperature bgin to slow the ship.

Regardless the landing is still unpleasant.

KRAK-KRUSH

MIckey - Ok a sroll of true rez for aerith, a raise the dead coffe for jarlot, and then help aerith get the others back up.

Lisa - Seems we are out of demons

Ketler - yeah i think we landed on the last of them.

LIsa - Well you guys get this tub back in the air, I'm heading out.

Satnak - Lisa with me, Kanatash stay here, gaurd the ship. I'm sorry to say this but we might have to release the crystals.

Kanatash - i was afraid of that.

Ketler - On the plus side we then could leave them here.

Squirrel teams race throught the ship and surrounding area setting up materials for repair and rescuing injured crew and those lucky enough to be on the revive list. Sorry crossbow redshirt nukmber 34.
JakeQuistis

05-12-06, 01:37 AM		Allen's Log, Journeydate 07
Today I managed to find Kanpai, although I have a strange feeling of dread. It's as though I'm still connected to the Forgotten Freedom somehow, because I can almost hear them call out. I could barely hear the ship crash into the ground somewhere, although that thought is almost too impossible to think about. With everyone on board, it would taken something incredibly awe inspiring to damage the ship and the people on board. But enough about that, I came out here to forget about it, not dwell on it...

Allen's Log, Journeydate 10
Kanpai was just a few ruins, with a strange artifact inside of it. I have no clue what it does, but now I can see things that have happened and are happening on the Forgotten Freedom during my sleep. Perhaps it's the artifact I found, or that the ship itself has a kind of life, and is calling me back. It could be that throughout the adventures it had, all of the people inside of it, it gained levels and became a PC, as Jarlot would say, although I don't know what that means. My guess is that it is alive, possibly, in the same sense that a city is alive, that the people inside of it are like it's blood.. They fight off invaders, repair the ship, similar to how we are able to fight off diseases and recover from injuries. But why I am still thinking about it?
Kaizer_Ryu

05-12-06, 01:59 AM		Satnak and Lisa exit the ship and prepare to track down Theronas. Terra walks up to them, somewhat worse for wear.

Lisa: Are you back with us now?

Terra: Yeah...

She is unable to look Lisa in the eye. How could she? It was her fault they were in this mess in the first place. Sa'vor's insane, two thirds of the crew dead or critically wounded, wrecked ship, and Volrath was gravely wounded as well. What could she say or do to make this right? Lisa walked up to her and lifted her head.

Lisa: I don't blame you for this. The ones who enslaved you are to blame. We will recover from this. It will take time, but it will happen.

Terra smiles, but the feeling does not last. A shiver runs up her spine as she senses Theronas's approach.

Terra: He's coming...and he's mad. The vengeance of a Glabrezu is not a pretty sight...

Satnak: Bring 'em on! He's got nothing on me.

Terra: I appreciate your sentiments, but this is my fight. That bastard will know the full fury of the very powers he gave me, as well as a few he has no idea I possess. Should I fall, you are welcome to him, but I have to try.

In a rare move, Satnak defers to her.

Satnak: Very well. I'll wait till you're finished.

Terra: Thank you...

She turns to go meet him, but Lisa grabs her shoulder. Turning back, Terra is met with a deep kiss. In that moment, she feels as if she's truly been forgiven, even if it is only by Lisa.

Satnak: *ahem*

Terra & Lisa: :blush:

Lisa: Oh, something else for you.

She hands Terra a bracelet that glows with a mystical light.

Terra: What's this?

Lisa: I know he's after you, so I blessed this to protect you in case he tries to possess you. It should also make anything you hit him with that much more effective.

Terra: (putting it on) Thank you. I hope to see you soon. Go make sure Michael's ok, and tell him I said thanks for protecting you...

Terra disappears into the shadows again and goes to head off Theronas.

Satnak: She knew about that?

Lisa: (smiling) At least that part of her hasn't changed. Always trying to know what's going on...
rampant

05-12-06, 02:08 AM		Satnak - Rock paper scissors loser gets to hunt for volrath.

Lisa - Coin I'll flip thank you, you always pick rock and you always win because the other person's hand is irrecognizable.

Satnak - :D
Phantomcrossing

05-12-06, 02:11 AM		(imagine this happened immediately after Andrea and Marish were killed)

Norbaz rushes through the corridors, having heard the alarms sounded for, as Jarlot had described it, "Encounters above CR 20", whatever that meant. Soon he turns a corner, to see the dead body of Marish and the Sliced in two form of Andrea, walking away farther down the hall but slowly is Shadow Jarlot. Norbaz seeths but regains his composure, quickly casting a few spells and psionic powers upon himself.

Norbaz: Captain! What is the meaning of this!?

Shadow Jarlot turns to face the cooky.

Shadow: Oh? Just you. For a minute I thought it would be someone I would have to waste energy on.

Norbaz: You aren't the captain.

Shadow: So, you catch on.

The half giant dissapears for a moment, and the room becomes eerily still. Shadow Jarlot casually waves a hand and deflects a large dagger in a large hand that seemed to fade into existance for a moment. He repeats this manuever, effortlessly defending from several different directions. Finally bored, Shadow Jarlot puches the air, and Norbaz is shot back into existance and visibility, sliding back on the floor as if his feet had no friction from the blow. The half giant is bleeding heavily and wounded.

Norbaz: Khyber's depths, what are you?!

Shadow Jarlot just laughs and draws his sword.

Shadow: Heh, be gone.

The cooky unhooks a small vial from his belt and throws it towards the one winged evil captain.

Norbaz: I'm not done left. Time for the 20 alarm!

The small vial erupts in a gouge of molten goo, vapors, and flame as it roars to life and freedom. Shadow Jarlot seems caught unawares for a moment, but begins fighting the beast and overpowering it. Norbaz uses this time to run back to the bodies of Marish and Andrea, lift them up, and start booking down the hallway.

Norbaz: Gotta get to Mick's or find Aerith...khyber....I...I, DAMN IT TO KHYBER!!!
rampant

05-12-06, 02:21 AM		Satnak - Chili senses tingling... No gotta focus ship and crew in danger. Chili... Danger... GAH
Charles Phipps

05-12-06, 02:45 AM		CREEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Lisa: Oh....Hell.

Terra: I have no idea what the hell is going to happen now.

*The Ship's front twists and splinters until it turns into an Elemental like body of Shadow Jarlot crackling with Dark Energy*

Shadow: I am the embodiment of CHAOS.

Terra: POWER OF EBERRON, WARP WOOD!

*Shadow seems tormented even as he seems to enjoy it as well*

Terra: Don't mess with a Druid!

Shadow: Ever see Evil Dead?

Terra: Err yes?

Shadow: Remember what the Trees did to the woman there?

Terra: You're so dead.

Jarlot: Have you heard....of Suzaku?

Terra: You're still alive after taking a sword through the chest?

Jarlot: Oh it only does 1d8+5 damage and my strength bonus....

Terra: But yes, what about the Eastern Phoenix?

Jarlot: That's Aerith's Solar Deva form....they have a speciality.

*The burning flame Aerith disappears in then becomes a BRIGHT GLITTERING PHOENIX before it burns its breath downwards...healing where it strikes*

Jarlot: PHOENIX SPINNING STRIKE!

*Jarlot's HUGE sword then knocks the flame like a baseball bat with his next strike that explodes Shadow's new body into ten thousand splinters*

Jarlot: I never liked that side of my personality. It's gone...for now. It can warp the rules of reality....and its been partially imprisoned on the Forgotten Freedom this entire time.

Lisa: You mean THAT'S why the ship draws evil people to it? It's a Hellmouth familiar to you!?

Jarlot: Duh. In any case, it needs the ship...me....and also my child to become fully manifest.

Lisa: Whose your child?

*A typical Japanese schoolgirl who looks remarkably like Jaela as a sixteen year old steps onboard*

Sakura: Pardon me, but I'm looking for my father.

Ishmael: Call me Ishmael. Can I help you lady?

Sakura: *monologue above them all* My...heart is flustering.

Jarlot: OH HELL NO!

*Aerith reforms in Phoenix fashion, looking as Jean Grey meets Final Fantasy as ever*

Sakura Jarlot (yes, that's his last name. What's his first name? Jarlot)
Neutral Good 1st level Commoner/15th level Magical Girl

The embodiment of every Shoujo Manga cliche in the universe with her habit being to revert from insipid cuteness to teen valley drama to magical girl superheroine at the drop of a hat being exceptionally off putting.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-12-06, 03:33 AM		OOC: Ok, that was wierd, Charles Phipps. I figure that happens after this...

IC:

Within the shadows themselves, the two titans race toward one another. As they clash, the world around them cries in agony.

Theronas: You have defied me for the last time! I will crush you and devour you whole!

Terra: Big words. Can you back them up?

The sound of their battle rings out, the magical energies causing the fabric of the plane to bubble and smoke as they pass. Blow for blow, they continue to fend off the others attacks. Frustrated, Theronas makes a rash strike, allowing Terra the opportunity to blast him out of the shadows. Reappearing on the Plane, Terra watches as he regains control. A sound from behind her is followed by a familiar creature crawling up her robe.

Terra: I told you not to come here. You know what may happen...

Not-Walter refuses to leave and rubs up against her.

Terra: Thank you, old friend. I'll win this for you, too.

As he climb into her cloak, Theronas resumes his attack. Blocking him, she drives him off with a barrage of shadow spikes. He counters by shadow binding her legs and attempting to slam her into the ground. At this time, another ability becomes manifest. A vine whips out from her sleeve and wraps around his leg. Terra pulls herself free and turns the tables on a now very shocked demon.

Theronas: (from the ground) How can you still have abilities I do not know about?

Terra: There is much about me you do not know. Though you had control of my mind, I was still aware enough to shield myself.

She picks him up with the vine and attempts another slam, but he breaks loose. Barrages of magic from either side are neutralized, so Theronas goes for melee. Two vines manage to restrain his second pair of hands, but the assault continues. He finally lands a hard blow across her face, knocking her to the ground.

Terra: (picking herself up) Not bad. It looks like I'll have to pull out all the stops on this one...

Terra calls upon the mix of Druidic and Sorcerous energy at her command. They swirl about her, warping her form. As the magic completes, she stands before him in the form of a were-tiger.

Theronas: A lycanthrope?!

Terra: :P Bite of the Were-Tiger. I am going to rip you limb from limb. :devil:

With insane speed, she strikes him in the face, sending him careening back. She arrives at his destination first, and strikes at him again, this time sending him into the air. Bleeding profusely from the wounds her claws opened, Theronas rights himself and turns to face her again. He recieves a faceful of claw, followed by a bite to one of his arms. Tearing off a chunk of flesh, Terra spits it out and headbutts him as he reels in pain and confusion.

Theronas: Augh! W-what are you?! You cannot be mortal!

Terra: I am strong because I am mortal. I know what it means to truly die, so I can fight for those who live. You have caused great pain and suffering to my friends and companions. You have nearly destroyed the closest thing to a home I've had since my second mother was murdered. My strength comes from those who believe in me, who support me. Though my hand in this tragedy may not be easily forgiven, the least I can do to repay them is to kill you.

Theronas: (regenerating) Sentimental nonsense. You cannot kill me.

Terra: Watch me.

Theronas unleashes a powerful eldrich blast. Dodging to the side, Terra grapples him with her vines and begins heading for the ground at high speed. At the last moment, she pulls up and smashes him into the ground, causing a massive shockwave. Theronas gets up and turns to her.

Theronas: Incredible. I was right to pick you. I have no more need for this body. I shall take your's instead.

When he attempts to pass into her, the bracelet repels him with a flash of holy light. He pulls back his charred hand, howling in pain. At this time, the Bite spell wears off and Terra returns to normal. Sensing an opportunity, Theronas strikes again. Terra blurrs as multiple images are created. Unable to tell the real one, he picks wrong and tumbles through her. With his back turned, Terra forms a mindblade and goes for the final blow. A flash of light surrounds her as Not-Walter casts his second spell: True Strike. Her blade pierces his heart, spraying blood everywhere.

Terra: (telepathically) Ok, your turn Satnak.

Satnak: (warping in) 'bout bloody time.

*UBERZORCH^5th*

OOC: Just in case you didn't know, Not-Walter can cast Blur 3x/day and True Strike 1x/day. I've been waiting to use those forever...
rampant

05-12-06, 05:10 AM		Satnak - OK you bastard you've thought your last thought. The very shadows you command are screaming for your blood.

The second key Twilight is the second crystal blade on the arm un like burn whith its purely offensive might twilight is more of a support boost. It allows Satnak to control all light and shadow within her radius of influence even going so far as to summon destructive power from seeming nothing. Also it grants her great stealth, and speed when active.

Theronas - NO that was supposed tobe my power this was my realm.

Satnak - Guess what Spoils of war *****. *ZORCH* Well he's taken care of. Where in This mess is Volrath? What are we gonna do about shadow cause I thought i got him back together with his buddy Cpt J already? Are we seriously gonna tolerate that... THING claiming to be his kid? And do you mind if I keep this Terra? (holds up ruby and gestures to armor)

Terra - You really know how spoil a potencially dramatic moment don't you.

Satnak - I gotta do something between deifics and chili night.

Lisa - What do call puff of logicing people.

Satnak - Subtle way of one upping kanatash he can drive people insane I can force reality to be sane.

Lisa - I know that has to be sick and wrong somehow.

Satnak - Yes I'm a twisted freak, now about my questions ladies.
Charles Phipps

05-12-06, 05:28 AM		Jarlot: Well you did reunite me with him but...

Aerith: NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!

Jarlot: Yeah....I'm sorta....

Aerith: NEVER! PLEASE.

Jarlot: Yeah, sort of lead to possession. In any case, you managed to help me do some damage to him at least....however he's awakened now.

Sakura: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

*Sakura kicks Jarlot in the head as she glides in*

Sakura: I'm Sakura! Pleased to meet you.

Aerith: Oh dear....it's my daughter.

Tifa: LIESS! SHE'S MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DAUGHTER!

Sakura: I have two mommies! I've learned about this in Health Class!

Aerith: GAH! NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!

Lisa and Terra: *stare*

Aerith: Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Tifa: YOU AS THE HEIR OF OUR LORD JARLOT MUST PROUDLY SERVE AS PRINCESS PRINCESS OF THE EMPIRE! DESTROY HIS ENEMIES AND FIGHT ON PRINCESS PRINCESS!

Aerith: Tifa aren't you dead?

Tifa: DEATH CANNOT CLAIM ME SO LONG AS MY LORD NEEDS ME!

Jarlot: I really don't...

Sakura: DADDYYYYY!

*death grip hug that causes his eyes to nearly pop out*
rampant

05-12-06, 05:41 AM		Satnak - :shifty: *pokes jarlots buggy eyes*

Jarlot - AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH HHH

Terra/lisa/Satnak/Airith - hahahaaha

Tifa - Hp ... Such disrespect... snicker...haha


OOC : She really can't help it, she loves to ruin these kinds of dramatic moments.
urial angel of death

05-12-06, 07:28 AM		Volrath strungles to his feet. He then jumps off the ship to find a gravely wounded Halaster nearby.
Volrath: Suprising, the demon didn't kill you as it exited.
Halaster: *Gurgle*
Volrath: You truely are pitiful. Wasn't there something in the back of your mind, screaming that this was all wrong? That you should protect and love your child?
Halaster: No, Terra is merely a means to an end!
Volrath: Then you are even less human than a Great Old One. Even my father, the most evil one of them, loved his family. You are a worse villian than that demon. You betrayed the trust the world bestows on each parent, that they will protect and care for their children!
Halaster: ...
Volrath: You must be punished. I won't let you go on to an afterlife. You would just become a demon, and cause more suffering. Welcome to ablivion!
As Halaster's soul leaves his body, Volrath produces a sapphire. The gems glows and Halaster's black soul is ripped asunder. Halaster gives one last horrified scream, that is heard all across the Plane of Shadow
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-12-06, 08:27 AM		The creatures continues to look around the arena at each individual. None dies then, but they feel as if their souls are being stripped of their beliefs until pure reality is left. Even the brave paladins wish to run, but with all their illusions gone they know that there is nothing in the world left for them. Once the creature is done it hangs its head. No one is close enough to see, but a tear falls down its face.

Creature (whispers): Can anyone answer.

Then it screams.

The scream tears through the people around the arena. It injects into their minds all the pain that they have caused others until it erupts from their bodies in a spray of pure negative emotions. The only one to be spared is the girl tied to the stake.

Finally the creature is spent. It floats to the ground beside the paladins, stumbling out of dizzyness, gasping for air, it's eyes only half-focused. Tears form two lines down its cheeks, but it does not sob. As it stumbles its foot kicks the torch, still holding the silver flame piece. Upon sighting the flame the creature's vigor is renewed. It picks up the torch and prepares to snuff it out against the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

The creature hesitates. It stares at the girl, almost comically quizzical. Yet, through the blurring of her vision and the haze of her mind brought on by the trauma of torture, she sees the same horror in its eyes as she does on the faces of the dead parishoners. The creature floats over to her, still carrying the torch in one hand ready to bury it within the earth of the arena floor.

"Is this really that important to you," it asks, gripping her head tightly despite the small size of its paw, "that you still believe in it after all that has been done to you in it's name?"

The girl is not afraid so long as the flame still burns. "The flame holds the souls of all those that have been rightious—"

The creature lets fall the torch. It strikes the ground upon the flame end, stifling the fire. The creature watches it fall.

Creature: Return to the other demons.

The sound of the girl's neck snapping echoes impossibly in the vastness of the chruch.

The creature looks skywards, though its view is blocked by the building above. Tears are streaming down its cheeks, the look of hatred in its eyes replaced for that moment with one of confusion and pain.

Creature: Why?

Then it rockets into the sky. The shockwave from its passage disintegrates the church and the surrounding city. The creature keeps climbing, past the atmosphere, past the ring of Syberis, past all the other moons, until it reaches the space beyond it all. As it flys it grows, becoming a huge round shape of pure darkness, a moon. Out there it stands, waiting for the warp fo time to carry it 700 years back to the present.

And out in space no one can hear it weep. But those who's minds are open to all possibilities hear a weak voice like a child crying in the night:

"My name is 13…………and I am tired of Hate."
Kaizer_Ryu

05-12-06, 10:09 AM		Volrath strungles to his feet. He then jumps off the ship to find a gravely wounded Halaster nearby.

OOC: Damn it, Urial. I had plans for him. Several of them involved knives. Pointy knives, that burned with the fires of a thousand evils...

*from beyond reality, a deep echoy voice comes*

Sauron: COOL!!

Check out legendaryfrog.net if you don't get this.

IC:

Terra: To answer your question Satnak, I really don't care if you keep them. Even if I did, it's not like I could stop you anyway. I'd rather you not zorch me, too.

Satnak: Damn right.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-12-06, 12:55 PM		OOC: Endless helix Ishmeals pure genuis. i shall look forward to reading more. keep it up.

IC:
( In Answer to the creatures question)
Sa'vor: the flow of time must not be interupted. all things must come to pass, one cannot change the future, for in that way lies oblivion. it has always been so and forever will be.

Creature: but think of the good you can do

Sa'vor: GOOD! good, through changeing time you only bring darkness and despair. good is brought through actions and devotion. you comprehend nothing of reality.

Creature: but you could save your mother! and stop Slip being kidnapped.

Sa'vor: somtimes one must sacrifice ones on happyness for the safety of others.

Creature: but your evil!

Sa'vor: doesnt mean i cant do good things. doesnt mean i cant protect people. doesnt mean i cant feel

Creature: then you are as bad as the paladins.

Sa'vor: no, i admit i do evil. they ignore the fact. im tired of your drivel. Be gone ( the creatures essence is sucked into a void in which lies nothingness. Sa'vors face is grim, and he begins his threehundred year preparations.)

***
( Somewhere on the edge of the universe, the allies of Halester prepare . Slip is chained to the wall in a antimagic cell, a Arch-Priest tourtures her with magic)
Slip: He will come, and he will rend your soul form your body.

Arch-Priest: yes, he will. and he'll fall into our trap. and a god shall be born among mortals.In accordance to the prophecy.

Slip: then why tourture me? he'll come any way

Arch-priest: Because he can feel your pain over time and space. it will drive him mad that he cant reach you. he'll become nothing more than an animal. and when your friends on the forgotten freedom find you, he will have to climb over their shattered corpses. in accordance to the Prophecy.

Slip: *spits in his face* then i shall enjoy your death by Sa'vors hands, even if my mortal form hath been slain.

Arch-Priest: (cleans spit from his face) oh, you'll be alive. you'll be Bel-shammaroths first victim once he enters the mortal world. and all shall suffer. and we shall be rewareded with immortality and enternal power. in accordance to the prophecy.

Slip: i very much doubt that. Satnak can take care of any god.

Arch-priest: ah yes... the dicide. she wont be able to survive the might of Bel-shammaroths power. once he has Sa'vor and the mastery of time, his reign will be endless. in accordance to the prophecy.

Slip: why do you keep saying that?

Arch-Priest: you know... i have no idea. in accorance to the prophecy.

Slip: if i wasnt chained to the wall. i'd break your neck myself.

Arch-priest: but you are chained up. HA!

Slip: you didnt say it that time

Arch-Priest: say what?

Slip: in accordance to the prophecy.

Arch-Priest: Damn. ( bursts into flames, dies, cleaner sweeps up the mess and another priest steps in and puts on the arch priest hat)
New Arch-Priest: well, i thought he'd never die. in accordance to the prophecy.

Slip: * groan*this is going to be a long day
rampant

05-12-06, 02:08 PM		Satnak - Hey volrath miss me?

Volrath - Geh! Crazy lady.

Satnak - I'll take that as a yes and spare your existance. Now back to the ship we have work to do.

Volrath - What do mean we?

Satnak - Ok I mean I yell at everyone and they fix things out of fear.

Volrath - Ok now that makes sense. Hi terra

Terra - She's agitated today isn't she.

Lisa - We are still missing slip and sa'vor. Thats usually a bad thing.

Jarlot - CRAP

Sakura - WOW :blink: She's strong.

Tifa - YOu get used to it.

Aerith - speak for your self she makes me nervous, though that has something to do with the great bloody spike about an inch from my face!!

Ignoring the majority of the conversation satnak carries the whole lot of them back on board.

Satnak - Ok people just thought I should mention if we don't get back to eberron by the time kithle's vacation is over he's gonna be ******. The giant gaping hole in the sky won't help his temper, and if slip and Sa'vor are still MIA he's gonna make the day of mourning look like a picnic.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-12-06, 05:51 PM		OOC: Lord Kale Fangblade, that was excellent. Just what I was looking for.

IC:
Lucky: I wonder if something is going on upstairs. Haven't seen any redshirts for a while now.

Erk: *grunt, grumble*

Suddenly a demon breaks through the door of the bar. He is immediately gunned down by Han Jarlot.

Jarlot turns back to his table, where a bandoleer-wearing Erk, a famr boy, and an old man in a hooded robe sit.

Han Jarlot: You’ve never heard of the Forgotten Freedom?

Old Man: Should I have?

Han Jarlot: It’s the starjammer that made the Qesemet run in less than 12 days.


Rules of The Bar (aka “The establishment is not responsible for what happens to you if…”)
1: If your name contains the word “Jarlot” do not talk to the half-elf with the mechanical arm.
2: Bar brawls follow standard comic narrative rules.
3: The establishment is not responsible for what happens to you if you call the orangutan a monkey.
4: The establishment is not responsible for what happens to you if you attack the young farm boy who came in with the old man in a hooded cloak.

OOC: It is time to name the bar. I will be accepting nominations, and then we will vote on them.
I nominate:
Lethe’s (From the mythical river of Lethe which if drunk from caused you to forget everything. A play on “Forgotten Freedom”.)
The Bar
Decanter of Endless Booze
rampant

05-12-06, 05:57 PM		Swill hole
Muradins beard (with a mass of familiar hair with the dye juob starting to run nailed to the sign)
Booze bank
Erk's place
The Brawl Room
Liquor lounge
Keel Haul Kavern
Whiskey Whirlpool
Vodka Vale
The Plastic flamingo
urial angel of death

05-12-06, 06:09 PM		ogre **** (goblins refrence)
what is that?
the drunken dragon
the bobing beholder
the lost coin purse
catgirls live!
the tavern
little Sharn
Endless_Helix

05-12-06, 06:59 PM		Things have begun to wind down after the excitement of yesterday. Volrath, Doog (or Dooj), and many of the redshirts are missing or dead. On the upside, I have found the Bar! I am unsure of the name, as is everyone, and apparently there is a contest to see who can come up with the best name. I put my vote in for the "River Styx", because odds are, if you drink any one of the more powerful drinks, you will die of alcohol poisoning.

A strange girl has joined the crew, calling herself Sakura. She claims to be the captain's daughter. He doesn't deny it, but I think it highly unlikely that something so beautiful could come from him. Although I must say, it is possible that she is Aerith's daughter. Sakura seems to have the same irreprehesible jubilence and she has the most irregular aura I've ever seen. It's... So captivating. My heart is in tatters when I am away from her light and yet, instantly it mends when I catch but the smallest glimpse of her, the wisp of her perfume.

Jarlot's comment, slurred by the influence of heavy drink, was that children were like weapons. He continued on at some length as to how you could forge them all you wanted, but what happened after they left the anvil was all someone else's fault. This leads me to believe that the captain's base state is that of raving drunk.

Aside from that incident, Jarlot has had a wave of sanity, which I hope lasts. Generally, the saner he is the calmer the crew is. Also, many of the Uber class are off dealing with their own issues, so many of the lesser crew can actually take a rest. In fact, only thirty-four redshirts have died in the last twenty-four hours, that I am aware of. It's nearly a thirty percent drop!

Ah, but I can never take my mind off of sweet Sakura for long. I have descretely asked around for anyone skilled in the arts of love, and was pointed towords a young man named Devon, with much sniggering. He suggested poetry, and began to read some of his. I can see why someone could like it, but I can also see why it would cause a fox to chew through it's own heart in an effort escape the sonic torture. I managed to get away with minimal injury to my eardrums. I had to visit to Mickey, the ship's doctor, who simply hands out alcohol. I'd always figured that was what made people go to him, but upon further inspection it appears to have some curative properties. My ears are healing nicely now, but I suppose one must suffer for love.

I asked Mickey what he used in his potions; his reply was "Scrat". I was bemused and felt it necessary to inquire as what "scrat" was. His reply was to shrug his shoulders and say that it is Norbaz's specialty. Upon further investigation, I discovered that "Scrat" is what you get when you distill rats for eight-to-ten years. Apparently, the crew are not the most decerning customers where alcohol is concerned.

The other good news is that I have made my first friend amongst the other redshirts. He is a young lad, eager for adventure and full of ginger! His name is Thomas Pun, and was actually educated at Arcanix, my alma mater! His is immensely well spoken and has some very interesting ideas about the nature of magic. While he looks rather dark and brooding at first, once he starts talking he becomes far more animated, with occasional spittle making him look rather rabid.

Alas! I cannot get Sakura out of my head! Perhaps unrequited love is nobler?

OOC: Thomas Pun, elven wizard 3/ shadowcaster1, was a deeply troubled child. His father was an ardent purist of the silver flame and decided that Thomas' mother's brand of magic was heresy, just before her death during childbirth. And so, Thomas was sent into a large orphanage where he was ridiculed for his frailness and strangeness. A traveling professor caught sight of Thomas' shadow magic awakening and got him packed off to Arcanix on scholarship. He graduated with high honors and finally after several failured enterprises found himself a redshirt aboard the Forgotten Freedom.
rampant

05-12-06, 07:25 PM		Volrath - I'm not dead.

Doog - Guess What i got better *chains ishmeal*

Satnak - Dammit theres another one. *offs Han Jarlot* I swear they're almost as bad as the crystals.

Erk - Grunts

Satnak - Say something next time, how am I supposed to know he hadn't paid his tab yet. You always make me pay up front.

Erk - short grunt

Satnak - I'm being good I only vaporized one person this time.

Erk - :rolleyes:
Charles Phipps

05-12-06, 07:54 PM		OOC: I'm sorry but there's no way Satnak could ever kill Han Jarlot. I utterly disbelieve.

:-p

;-)
urial angel of death

05-12-06, 09:35 PM		Nevermind, wrong screen name.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-12-06, 09:38 PM		OOC: There, better. Note to self, check who is logged on before posting. :banghead:

Lisa: Where are you going?

Terra: I have one more thing to do before we leave. Don't worry, I'll be back shortly.

Terra disappears into the shadows. After a few minutes travel, she arrives in the shrine Theronas had been using as a base. Several humaniods and a few demons still inhabit it, waiting for their masters return. Entering the main chamber, she reveals herself.

Minion: My lady! Where has the master gone? He's been out for quite some time.

Terra: You don't have to worry about that pompous waste of energy any more...

She raises her hand and seems to drain all light from the area. Screams of pain and fear eminate from the building...
urial angel of death

05-12-06, 09:43 PM		OOC: It's okay Kaizer everyone wants to bask in the glory of my screen name.
IC: Volrath: Wait! Chuck Norris can never die, so.
In a poof of logic Chuck Jarlot appears.
rampant

05-12-06, 09:51 PM		Satnak - Ok thats my weapon.

Satnak grabs norrisBy the neck rips his feet off and beats him to a bloody pulp with them. She then uses the bonshards to extract his various internal organs and turn them into sausage. Finally she sets him on fire and watches.

Satnak - Die or I get mean.
urial angel of death

05-12-06, 11:47 PM		Volrath pouts as Chuck Norris dies horribly. Again.

Volrath: He let you win. He's just waiting to regenerate. Right, Chuck?

The bloody pulp does not move.

Volrath: ...right?

Still no reaction.

Volrath: :weep:
Charles Phipps

05-13-06, 01:06 AM		Volrath pouts as Chuck Norris dies horribly. Again.

Volrath: He let you win. He's just waiting to regenerate. Right, Chuck?

The bloody pulp does not move.

Volrath: ...right?

Still no reaction.

Volrath: :weep:

*A glowing blue light Chuck Norris appears*

Chuck Norris: It's okay Kid. If you believe in me, I'll never die.

*All the slain Jarlots appear in the Blue Light club*

Satnak: SPIRIT BUS....

*poof*

Satnak: Oh come on! You run out of power NOW arm!?
Kaizer_Ryu

05-13-06, 01:30 AM		OOC: I must agree with everyone. Ishmael is awesome. And :heehee

IC:

The light returns to the shrine, with Terra the only one left standing. The other occupants are nowhere to be found, the only sign of them are cracked walls, blood spatter, and a few tatters of clothing. Continuing down the hall, she opens up a side door leading to a lavishly decorated room. Rummaging through the dresser, she comes across a tome that pulses with dark energy. Within a secret compartment, she finds a pair of rings and another book, this one seems normal enough. Taking it all she head into the inner sanctum.

The altar room contains a pair of humanoids, cowering in the corner. What they are she cannot tell because of their hooded robes. It matters little as she slays them, heading to the altar. The room is quite familiar, right down to the sigil on the wall and the designs on the altar.

Terra: Never again will you haunt my nightmares...

Gathering her power, she unleashes a tremendous blast of energy. The altar, the room, and the entire shrine are vaporized in a flash of light. Vanishing again into the shadows, she leaves her childhood behind, now only a smoking crater.
Crystalforged

05-13-06, 02:06 AM		Later below decks Kanatash and Volrath are playing chess. Using live redshirts as pieces. They both use a variety of "incentives" to move their pieces and when they take one of their opponents they eliminate them. Suddenly Satnak bursts into the room.

Satnak: Alright slackers, enough fun and games. We still have a ship to repair here in case you've forgotten.

Kanatash: Pawn takes pawn. (uses energy push to propel one redshirt into another and proceeds to ignite the second redshirt) Well in case YOU've forgotten neither my nephew or I are particularly skilled or inclined towards physical labor.

Satnak: Bah, you're still wasting plenty of redshirts in this game of yours...

Volrath: (interrupting) Pawn takes knight. (summons a mass of tentacles to herd a redshirt into place and to rip apart the taken piece) Please, we just took the frail ones. It's not like they would be much use with the repairs anyway.

Satnak: ...besides even if you don't do physical labor you both have enough psionic and magical abilities to do something.

Kanatash: Bishop takes pawn. (telekinetically tosses one redshirt into another and causes the head of the second to explode, showering the board with grey matter) Who says we're not. I'm currently teleporting raw material in from another plane, levitating a load of lumber into position for Kelter, and psionically reinforcing deck C12.

Volrath: Ha. Rook takes bishop. (transforms the taken redshirt's left leg into a serpentine tentacle which pulls Volrath's piece into its square before stabbing its owner in the head) I'm currently directing the remains of my aberrant army telepathically in their repairs. It just happens that it takes so little of our effort to contribute to the repairs that we don't need to be there.

Satnak: I still think I should haul you two up on deck and it's not like you can stop me.

Kanatash: Queen takes rook. (mind switches the two redshirts and then teleports the piece which used to be his somewhere in the heart of the shadow realm) I wouldn't be so sure about that. You may be able to kill deities and lord of the ubers but there are three people you still don't want to mess with, Kithle, Sa'vor, and me. Let me elaborate on the third one there. One, Kithle wasn't the only one involved in the creation of that arm. Two, you were cloned from me so if I really want to I can get past your mental protections. I brought you into this world, I can take you out. Finally, I am a paranoid, psychotic, insane being from another plane with safeguard for my safeguards against every threat I am aware of. I once took a direct hit from a Bigby's crushing tactical nuke without receiving a scratch, do you really think I can't handle an "uberzorch".

Satnak just glares and she looks like she is preparing to test Kanatash's assertment when a Spanish looking Jarlot jumps down from the ceiling with a rapier.

Alt Jarlot: (to Satnak) My name is Jarlot Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to-

Cuts him off by suddenly punching him and caving his skull in.

Satnak: WHERE DO THESE THINGS KEEP COMING FROM!!!!

Volrath: Knight takes Queen. (transforms his piece into a ravenging beast that swallows the other piece before changing back) Well with all the portals on this ship to realities, unrealities, and whatever that place Kelter found is, not to mention all the extradimensional room and the abundance of extraplanar entities causes the fabric of the multiuniverse around the ship to go a little wonky. To state it more simple this ship causes a snarl in the universe where ever it goes and a side effect of that is that Jarlots from alternate planes or different timestreams randomly phase into our version. There really is no point killing them because there are always more that will show up at convienent plot moments.

Suddenly another Jarlot appears in a flash of light.

Keanu Jarlot: Whoa, man, I'm like the ONE man.

Satnak stares at him for a moment before roundhouse kicking him in the face. The force of the impact is so intense that it momentarily creates a miniature black hole that implodes Keanu Jarlot's head.

Kanatash: Pawn takes knight. (opens his mind to redshirt/knight)

Redshirt: (begins doing the chicken dance before suddenly stopping) THE KIWIS! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! (grabs another redshirt and beings shaking him) THEY SEE ALL, THEY KNOW ALL! THE KIWIS ARE COMING THE KIWIS ARE COMING!!! THE END IS NIGH! (his eyes go dead and he slumps to the ground)

Kanatash: (simply gestures to his piece to take its place) In the case of that particular alt Jarlot I think that was called for. He gets so annoying after a while.

Satnak: (Sigh) Ah, whatever. I can get more accomplished by "motivating" the workers I have than trying to recruit more. (stalks off)

Volrath: Queen takes pawn. Checkmate. :D (transforms all his pieces into aberrations which rip Kanatash's remaining pieces limb from limb before turning on each other.)

Kanatash: ****. What the score now, 112 to 111?

Volrath: 112 to 112 actually.

Kanatash: Care to go another round?

Volrath: Of course. Do you want to collect the pieces or should I?
Charles Phipps

05-13-06, 02:12 AM		Jarlot: So where DO all the Alt-Jarlots come from?

Aerith: Oh that's simple.

Alt-Satnak: I'm SOOOO HAPPY! *RESSURECTION JARLOT*

*Super Mario Jarlot bounces off*

*Alt-Satnak is a tiny redhaired version of normal Satnak wearing yellow sorceress' clothing and a long cape. She's already eaten eleven bowls of chili and is a bit flat chested*

Satnak: Oh now you die!

Alt-Satnak: Darkness beyond twilight...crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the stream of time is where your power grows...

Jarlot: OH HELL NO....you didn't. She's.....

Alt-Satnak: Let the fools who stand before your power be consumed by the power you and I possess. DRAGONSLAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE E!

*Satnak knocks away the blow as Sharn is destroyed....again*

Alt-Satnak: Eh darnit, I knew I got that spell wrong.

Sakura: *annoyingly nasal voice while wearing white clothing and a cape* OH MISS LINNNNAAA!

Jarlot: Oh Hell, at least its time for a new Ship. Behold the Forgotten Freedom II!

Aerith: Where did you get this ship?

Jarlot: I didn't...uhh....steal it from the Abyss.

Start of new rules for the ship....

1. Kanatash is forbidden from killing or driving crazy...er....more than 10% of the crew a month.
2. We seriously are taking a hit on our insurance.
3. Satnak is forbidden from killing off plot devices.
4. Except Keanu Jarlot. No one likes him.
5. No more using crew in chili....
6. Unless its ReD shirts.
7. If Ishmael EVER even LOOKS at Sakura EVEN ACCIDENTALLY then he shall be be unrestricted from all previous rules.
8. I shall stop pretending I'm the ultimate of all badasses...which means...
9. I shall not be allowed to say "Call me Snake."
10. Especially not "Solid Snake"
11. I am not Rambo...
12. I can kick his ass.
13. Tifa is forbidden from attacking me until I love her.
14. YES, I REALLY MEAN THAT.
15. Sakura cannot talk to ANY BOYS...EVAR.
16. OR TERRA.
17. Or Lisa for that matter.
18. Any crew who isn't ALL dead, please fill out a census form.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-13-06, 02:50 AM		OOC: For once, I think Satnak waited too long to kill an Alt-Jarlot. 3 seconds of Keanu Jarlot is too much. :D

IC:

Terra: (looking at rule #16) That is totally uncalled for! I'm not going to hit on a 16 year old!

Jarlot: Just covering all the bases. 5000+ rules have taught me at least that much. Which reminds me:

19: All rules from the FF mark 1 still apply

Most of the crew: Awwwww.....

Terra: Regardless, I'll have you know I make it a point not to hit on anyone who hasn't at least reached the equivalent of 25 in human years. It's just creepy otherwise.

Another Alt-Jarlot pops into existance, this one is wearing coke bottle glasses and has his pants pulled up way too high.

Erkel Jarlot: (in an annoyingly high pitched, nasally voice) Hey! Anybody-

Satnak: *Dragon King Slice*

Erkel Jarlot is cloven in two and then vaporized by all present spellcasters.

Satnak: That was the worst one yet! When will it end?!

20: Satnak is not allowed to use moves from Grandia.
rampant

05-13-06, 03:07 AM		Satnak - I like the Old Ship Fix it. We can use the new one for parts and supplementery systems. First thing first, *CTRL+ALT+DEL*

Alt-satnak - *****. *vaporized*

Alt-jarlots - Aww crap. *vaporized*

Satnak - I'm enforcing the no clone rules. So you got nothing. Now fix the gorram ship or I will take the new one and break it on your heads. I like having a floating fortress. Besides Kithle will shoot us out of the sky if we don't register the proper energy signatures. Not too mention how angry he will be if we don't fix the ship. Also captain a significat chunk or your essence is infused into the original, not a good idea to leave that lying around. then theres the fact that without a few weeks to enchant everything there simply isn't enough room on the new one for everyone even if we have another redshirt purge. Then there's John and earl. Finally its almost fixed. We just need to get ketler to finish checking the energy flows the structural damage is about solved. Druids do great work on wooden ships even with all the overlay. Speaking of overlay would you seriously consider going up against the brelish sky navy without all the convinient structural and protective enchantments that are bound into the original. Oh look the ships fixed.

Jarlot - so fast, how?

Ketler - I have a few dorjes and crystal capacitors for temporal accerleration ready for emergency jobs like this.

Jarlot - What do we do with the new ship ?

Lisa - Use it as a scout and delivery ship, special mission vehicle for when we don't want people recognizing the unique construction of the main ship. Or the keel blabbing from under the illusion spells and ruining the element of surprise. Or just something we can take places without starting a panic.

Jarlot - Well...

Satnak - If we keep both you can promote your self to Commodore and wear a fancy hat.

Jarlot - Sold!
Charles Phipps

05-13-06, 03:47 AM		Jarlot: Oh yes and one more thing...

Satnak: What's that?

Jarlot: About the no clone rule...

Satnak: Yes?

Jarlot: No.

Satnak: What?

Jarlot: This is a PIRATE SHIP and we're going to damn well act like it! Clones and other crazy pop culture references are our meat and drink.

Alt-Satnak: *sticks her tongue out*

Jarlot: But I will make a concession....

*opens a bag of holding and then summons all the Crystals onboard into it*

Jarlot: But we'll see how that works out.

Aerith: Why is cloning part of being a pirate?

Jarlot: Uhh...George lucas. Yoink.

*bolts away*
rampant

05-13-06, 03:50 AM		Satnak - You still die

Alt-satnak - Make me

Satnak - Ok

Satnak extends twilinght and causes all the shadows within alt satnak to form into razors.

Alt-satnak - yrrrrrk *dies*

Satnak - And that is why pure arcanists suck. No staying power.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-13-06, 09:58 AM		OOC: :rofl:
The names for the bar so far have been great. I'll wait a few more days, then post them all and we can vote.
In other news I had my second ever game of D&D last night. First I nearly got blown up by a little ticking clockwork gnome, then I grabbed onto an out-of-control broom that flew out over a gap in Sharn. I almost died TWICE! This game ROCKS!

IC:
A pirate wearing a big hat with a huge feather in it swings down on a rope and strikes a pose with his cutlass.

Alt-Jartlot: Hello, I'm Captain Jarlot Sparrow.

Lucky and Erk exchange looks.

Lucky: Besides the makeup, how exactly is he any different from our Jarlot?

the Rules of the Bar
5. All ninja-pirate debates must be taken outside.
6. The establishment is not responsible if you choose to accept your mission.
7. The establishment is not responsible if your children disappear into a wardrobe.

Ship rules (in honor of Cronicles of Narnia):
????: The Daughters of Sora Kell are not the White Witch (or whatever her name is).
????: Despite the fact that they have hoards of ogres and minotaurs at their disposals.
????: They are not opposed by a kingly lammasu named Aslan.
Endless_Helix

05-13-06, 10:05 AM		I am honestly amazed that the captain even knows my name. I do believe that it is quite impressive that he even knows one of his redshirts, by name. Perhaps in the future he'll be more careful with them, and not let them be USED AS CHESS PIECES BY VOLRATH AND KANATASH!

I had the "honor" of being the queen for Volrath. I was dressed in garters and a dancing girl outfit for this most magnanimous occasion.By some black mercy, I was lucky enough to be among the winners in this round.Still, that unspeakable horror transformed me into a thing beyond description! During the frenzy that followed I, by some ironic stroke of luck, kept my sanity and managed to slip away during the bloody ritual. I think both Volrath and Kanatash were too busy with Satnak to notice a seven tentacled pseudopod squelching its way belowdecks.

Sakura must never see me again, at least until I am human. I shall never have the pleasure of looking upon her face, smiling, with that most amazing glint of beauty in her eye. Alas, it is too much for me, I must never mention her again untill I am cured of this affliction. For I have no mouth, but I must scream!

Perhaps the library will hold some hope for my digusting ectoplasm that heaves and billows, quaking as though it were far more gelatinous than it actually is.

There are whispers of a redshirt purge. These are clearly dark times. I must hide in the shadows for the time being, and hope for sweet release.

OOC:Ishmael has reached seventh level, three more levels of artificer. So he's now a Fighter 1/Artificer 6. His abberation form allows him one more caster level than normal, and seven tentacle attacks, but he has a hard time writing scrolls, since apparently the ink he needs affects rather like hydrochloric acid affects wood.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-13-06, 11:07 AM		( the Forgotten Freedom sails through the air once more, Naz'roth stared over the bow his arm around Tara. it was then that he saw it, a Mass of Black clouds. within the clouds bolts of purple lightning scythed through the skys ( lightning actualy comes from the ground, travelling from positive to negative). Naz'roth frowned, this was no natural storm. its ebony black clouds rolled around each other. suddenly the Tempest began heading towards them. within seconds it surrounded the ship, Naz'roth could feel the crackeling eldritch power flowing from it. even before the figure appeared. it flaoted amungst the clouds through pure psionic might, dwelling in the pure primal energies of the storm. its black featherd wings where unfolded and it used them to steer it as it speed through the storm. it soared down and landed on the deck, it lowered its black hood.)
Sa'vor: nice to meet you again old friend.

Naz'roth: ( a smile spreading across his lips) so you've rescued her then.

( Sa'vors face lost all of its happness)
Sa'vor: No, but i intend to. i have not waited and trained for three hundred long years to simply give up. this is merely the begining of the end for her kidnappers.
( Sa'vor was thinner, his face seemed to be more drawn, but a calm serenity flowed from it. sparks of magical power jumped between his gauntleted fingers. the magical items on his body glowed brightly in Naz'roths Magical vision. Naz'roth could tell Sa'vor had replaced and improved almost every organ in his body, as well as grafting Qouri embedded Shards and forging magical items. a belt around Sa'vors waist contained thirty small bags of holding in which Sa'vor held many magical items including wands, gems, spellshards, scepters, staffs. potions, alchemical times and scrolls)
Naz'roth: then when do they hide her?

Sa'vor: i have searched the universe, reaching with my mind across the black voids of space. and i found her. she's at the edge of this universe where a weak point in existance exists, they planning to bring some sort of entity into existance. but we have not time. even now i can feel her agony.

Tara: how can we get there.

Sa'vor: ( smiles) that is easy.
( he raises a hand to the sky, the tempest swirls and magical charges build up in it. an arcing bolt of purple lightning rips open a tear in the unverse)
Tara: a worm hole?

Sa'vor: ( evil smile) you will have to fly through it. i will await you on the otherside. (shudders) you'll have to hurry. i might not be able to hold it open for long.

( the elemntal ring flares as Earl forces the ship through the gap, Sa'vor has vanished. consumed by the tempest once more. the ship shudders and shakes)
Jarlot: Whats this? i demand to know where we are going with my armada!

Tara: to rescue slip

Jarlot: a daring rescue ay? well, i say. Lets give them hell!
( the ship cleaves through the otherside of the portal. below them lies a vast jungle of blood red trees, at its center lies a temple. the tempest has already began to form around it. flashes of purple lightning strike the shield around it. the Forgotten Freedom presses onwards. awaiting the battle before them...
Kaizer_Ryu

05-13-06, 11:18 AM		Terra: Before we begin, I must apologize to you, Sa'vor.

Sa'vor: Do not concern yourself with it. Because of it, I have attained far more power than I previously thought possible.

Terra: Oh, well, that's good. But I also have to thank you. That blast helped free me.

Sa'vor: So we are even. Now prepare yourself for the coming trials.
Yetzirah

05-13-06, 11:20 AM		http://www.cyberthug.de/33468
Chrys

05-13-06, 12:30 PM		ooc: What?

In my next post Tifa and P/Y/R will 'Die' so use them wheile you can... :D
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-13-06, 01:37 PM		( the shield around the fortress/temple shudders and lowers. the forgotten freedom hovers inches above the ground as the crew form into regimented groups and support teams. the legions of Sa'vor and Volrath stand with weapons at the ready. Before them all hovers Sa'vor)

Sa'vor: Brothers and sisters, Friends, allies and Crewmates. In the time i have been aboard this ship i have seen us at each others throats. i have seen us battle and fight. i have stood side by side with many of you, i have watched as many of us have died, even i have died. i have seen the family that our fair captain has created. though we have our differences we are a family. and they have taken one of our own. they have sought to destroy all that we hold dear.

their armies amass, amongst you I see the veteran warriors and spell casters. I see those to whom death is a living. i see those to whom battle is not new. I see ubers, i see scum, i see redshirts. I also see those whom are untested in the arts of war, do not fear for those beside you shall guide you through this violent affair.

I doubt not the strength of your sword arms, the power of your spells, the courage in your heart or even the first for battle within your minds. for today i ask you, cast aside your fears, cast aside the petty rivalries, cast aside your doubts. for today we shall fight as one for the sanctity of our family. today we shall fight for not only the universe but for the common cause, we shall fight for our freedom and our choice to this freedom.

( Summons mind blade and raises it high)
For the Forgotten Freedom!

( the Forces of the forgotten feedom surge over the battle field, mage and warrior side by side. abberation and dragon as allies.)

OOC: i'll let you guys have some free Reign where the battles concerned. Have fun
Phantomcrossing

05-13-06, 02:20 PM		Norbaz sits patiently in Mickey Nine Finger's medical bay/booze storage room. There he sits beside a bed where a now comatose Andrea lies. The Half giant is riddled by images of the past few days.

Norbaz: Thanks Mick...

Mickey: No problem (takes a hit from a flask) the spell'll be finished and she'll be up in no...uh oh.

Norbaz: What's uh oh?

Mickey: Res is done, but she's still out...well out cold, she's alive. How'd she die again?

Norbaz: Fiery sword of Shadow Jarlot.

Mickey: Might be the case...I'm gonna keep her here for observation till she wakes up. Well, I better start on res'ing Marish, got the place smelling like dead cat.

And so the half giant continues to sit and think, as he has for the past several days by the comatose form of Andrea, some kind of booze potion iv flowing into her arm. Marish soon approaches from behind him.

Marish: ...any change.

Norbaz: no, nothing yet.

Marish: Listen...about the whole letter bit...I'm sorry for putting you on the spot and charming you like that...thanks...thanks for binging us to the doc after we...after we were...

Norbaz: It was nothing...really.

Marish:...about...about the letter. Andrea, she...she-

Norbaz: Please...don't, I'll hear it from her, good or bad, when she wakes up.

Marish:...yeah...yeah, I understand.

The shifter girl heads to the door, pauses, then turns back to Norbaz.

Marish: My link to her is still active...she's lost in a dream right now...its good to keep talking. Maybe...maybe it'll help her find her way.

Norbaz: Thanks...I'll keep that in mind.
urial angel of death

05-13-06, 02:42 PM		Terra: Regardless, I'll have you know I make it a point not to hit on anyone who hasn't at least reached the equivalent of 25 in human years. It's just creepy otherwise.



As the troops storm into battle, Volrath taps Terra on the shoulder.
Volrath: I would like to contest one of your presious statements.
Terra: Wha...
Volrath: That time you and Realm...
Terra grabs Volrath, by the throat and lifts him into the air.
Terra: I told you to never speak of that. Besides she came on to me. I never hit on her.
Volrath: What about that time with m-
Terra grip tightens.
Terra: I was really drunk.

OOC: I would post about the battle, but I don't know what they are facing.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-13-06, 03:11 PM		Volrath: That time you and Realm...

OOC: At least she waited till she was legal... :D
urial angel of death

05-13-06, 03:19 PM		OOC:"legal" in most middle ages cultures was 13ish. :D
Kaizer_Ryu

05-13-06, 03:24 PM		OOC:"legal" in most middle ages cultures was 13ish. :D

Exactly. Edward had a lolita complex worse than Ketler's. Terra had to beat him off Relm with a stick on more than one occasion.
Endless_Helix

05-13-06, 03:25 PM		The crew is gearing up for battle. I suppose the redshirt purge will begin soon. While I still have what passes for breath in my body, I should confess my love of Sakura once and for all. My tentacle in which I hold this dragonhawk quill shakes, as though with palsy. I suppose that this may be my last will and testament as well, for the lawyer on board. Volrath's name deserves one more curse, for putting this transformation on me.

I have talked with John, to try to ease my mind. He laughed when I mentioned the redshirt purge, and said that it had nothing to do with us. According to John, Sa'vor gave an inspiring monologue to the crew to help them fight an unknown foe. But I know the truth! Volrath and his horrors are out to finish the job they started with their chess game! I have seen no "unknown enemies" that are trying to destroy the Forgotten Freedom II, despite my myriad eyestalks! They are trying to kill us down-trodden Redshirts, with this flimsy story which the keel tried to support with the pathetic "they haven't arrived yet" to cover their actions from our eyes!

This leaves me no option. I shall hide within Volrath's horde, waiting for the fighting to be over. I shall mourn the redshirts who died in the massacre to be, and when the time comes, make the villains who perpetrated this pay for each and every single drop of blood they took...

OOC: Ishmael has reached his seventh level of artificer and his second level of fighter. I'd write more on his experiences once he hits battle, but... well, there isn't a defined enemy yet, is there?
urial angel of death

05-13-06, 04:00 PM		Exactly. Edward had a lolita complex worse than Ketler's. Terra had to beat him off Relm with a stick on more than one occasion.

Volrath: So edward made a stop over from FF4 or did you miss pronouce Edgar? :D
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-13-06, 04:03 PM		( They came over the hill. millions of them. forms made of living liquid metal, amungst them strode huge contructs of aracne might. their leaders where made of glittering liquid platinum and defied the rules of reality with thier power. they where the C'tan. creatures of energy given life by being placed in bodies of living metal,kept liquid by the raging power within. paristes, these energy vampires fed of energy; prefrebly positive energy belonging to the living. but they'd devour any life force. they marched like an unending tide, thier graceful forms seemingly gliding over the ground instead of walking. thier leaders held great power within their bodies, Sa'vor shuddered. this wouldnt be easy.)
Sa'vor: Hold the ranks! Shields at the ready!
( along the lines of the legions each of the ubers commands their own sections to do the same. Sa'vor raises his hand, the archers load their various ranged weapons. Sa'vor lowers it. a hail of arrows and bolts sink into the first few ranks of the approaching tide. many of the creatures exploded, their necromdermis breached. they loaded, and fired again. more dropped. but the horde kept approaching at walking pace. Naz'roth Saw the C'tan lords prepare their spells and threw up a shield around his legions. along the line all the spell casters did the same as fire crashed down on the shields. they held as more and more bursts of firey energy was unleashed)
Sa'vor: (to himself) why keep up the barrage? theres no pointin it... unless.
( now yelling) everyone, draw your melee weapons. back up, their perparing for thier assualt!
***
( Slip could feel Sa'vors energy now, it was overwealming. she watched the battle through the window of her cell. the great tides of the C'tan where innumrabel. she shuddered. thats what they must be preparing to do, bring forth one of them, one more powerful than any of the ones below. Bel Shammaroth. She would of transmitted the information to Sa'vor, but her cell was shielded from any inside or outside mystical, magical or Psionic force. She clenched her fists and forced down the anger, Save it, it would be needed.)
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-13-06, 04:03 PM		OOC: there you go Urial, enjoy .
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-13-06, 05:08 PM		OOC: Okay, I hate overwhelming odds. Tension makes me sick. Literally. But I'm going to try anyway. And this is going to set my stuff up for later.

IC: On the lower decks of the Forgotten Freedom, Caralot notices the sound of thundering feet. It get louder and louder, becoming a torrent, one that passes her room, shaking the whole ship.

Caralot gets up and opens the door. Rushing past is a river of creatures, from average redshirts to the leftovers from the crews' demented experiments. And It's all headed for the bar.

Caralot shuts the door. She looks over at Crys, who just sits there like the brain-dead abberration she is. Caralot thinks for a minute, then goes over a wraps an intricate rythim against one of the walls.

It's only a few moments before Roosevelt pops through the secret door.

Roosevelt: I would have thought you'd scamper already. Battles up, and there's not guarantee we'll win this one.

Caralot: So where's everyone else going?

Roosevelt: Everyone who could duck out is headed for the bar. Seems that in the short span of time it's been around it's become demi-dimension of its own. If this world goes the bar is still safe, and you can escape to one of the other dimensions it touches.

Caralot: So why haven't you gone?

Roosevelt gestures at his teddy bear body.

Roosevelt: If I'm destroyed, this goes too. That's a better deal to me than survival has ever been. And I'll tell you a bit of philosophy I've discovered: thinking is overrated. It annoys the Khyber out of me. If I die then it's oblivion and no thought. Which option do you think I like?

Caralot nods.

Caralot: Are the secret corridors still open?

Roosevelt: Lady, we got enough extradimensional space that you can find a clear route to the bar no problem.

Caralot: But that's not where I'm going.

Roosevelt: :shocked:

Caralot: I've got to get to the battle. This crew is too valuble to let go to waste.

Roosevelt: I know you're not talking about them being good people.

Caralot: No. Of course not. Where else do you get the chance to study the effect craziness has directly on living tissue?
***
Up on deck Captain Jarlot is watching the battle fromt he safety of the ship's mast. He sees Caralot emerge from the central hatchway.

Jarlot: I would have thought you had more sense to flee like all the other unused crew members.

Caralot: Shouldn't you be in the thick of battle like the good captain that you are?

Jarlot: Ooo, that stung. You know I'm a random element. I do my best work when it's completely unexpected.

Caralot: Shut up. I don't care right now.

Jarlot: You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you ever since this whole mess witht the Alt-Jarlots started.

He sees that Caralot is holding something cupped in her hands.

Jarlot: Why are you different from all the other mes? I mean, other than your evil counterpart, all the Jarlot have been male and some kind of action hero. You are completly sensible by comparason.

Caralot: Well maybe…(she opens her hands to reveal the black water, which gradually becomes clear)…whatever came up with me…(she watches the sky , rocking her arms a little up and down)…decided that sensible…(she throws the black water up in the air, and it rapidly forms itself into a mass of dark stormclouds that begint o pour rain)…is still pretty crazy.
***
The rain falls on the battle. It begins to soak into the clothes and shirts of the various crew until the commanders put up protective fields. Even so the ground becomes a soaked mud-hole, bogging down the redshirts. The C'tan, however, plow through everything with no problem.

Until the mud erupts underneith them.

Monsters formed out of the wet earth and sand rise up and clobber the legions of the C'tan. The energy parasites have nothing to absorb from the mud monsters, and any energy they fire at the para-elementals is either abosorbed by their watery natures or deflected by the bits of stone that they suspend. Phsycial attacks are useless against their fluid natures. It's only through pure magical energy that the C'tan make a comeback.

But then the first redshirts realize that something is different. One halfling is able to blink in and out, confusing the C'tan. A half-orc finds that he has aquired fast healing. Elves grow wings. Humans become larger and resistant to energy.

As they begin charging into the ranks of the C'tan, and the parasites find that these mortals have aquired a fluid nature akin to spell resistance. Attacked from the front by enhanced reshirts and from the middle by the para-elementals—having only faked their vulnerability to magic—the C'tan are being routed.
***
Jarlot watches the turning of the tide in amazement. Just a little black water had created all that. Then he sees an indistinct shape floating above the battle. It's appears in the raindrops falling down and in the mist rising from the flashes of energy below. He is almost sure it is some sort of serpent-liek dragon, but it is never the same from one flash to the next.

Jarlot (turning to Caralot): How are you doing all this? I mean, your specialty is mixing weird creatures. This one of them?

Caralot smiles in a way that Jarlot has seen before only on the faces of those who truely trust in gods.

Caralot: It exists independant of me. It is the Fourth Dragon.

Jarlot: Er…fourth of what?

Caralot: Siberys, Khyber, Eberron, and Thyrs.

Jarlot: What?! You mean that thing's a progenitor dragon?

Caralot: Siberys, sky. Eberron, land. Khyber, heart. Thyrs, water. Thyrs has all the abilities of liquids, esspecially water, and the power to change anything made at least even a little of water. This is like a dragonshard. Just a tiny piece of the whole, yet it posseses something that puts all other magic to shame, that even controls other magic. Kind of like the memebers of your crew.

Jarlot just turns back to the battle. The water isn't winning the thing for them, but it's helping.

Jarlot: Thyrs? How come I've never heard of it before?

Caralot doesn't answer for a moment. When she speaks, it lacks her earlier confidence.

Caralot: I don't know.
***
Far out in space, a conciousness stirs.

13: I feel it. Why? Why does this exist? Why don't I know how to stop it? Why…………

OOC: I'm asking special here: please do not mess about with Thyrs. If you want it out of the picture, banish or zortch, but don't involve it in any antics, serious or otherwise. It's not meant to be a character but a force, a plot device.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-13-06, 06:05 PM		Volrath: So edward made a stop over from FF4 or did you miss pronouce Edgar? :D

OOC: Damn it! Yes, I meant Edgar. My bad.

IC:

The two sides clash, the tide of battle turning again and again with each new strike. Terra oversees her units, shielding them from the periodic bombardment. The sudden appearance of the clouds as well as the strange flow of power the rain granted had served to further enhace her newfound abilities. Though the C'tan were quite formidable, they were not invulnerable. The shifting shadows of the battle served to let her paralyze swaths of the foes before her legion, if only for a short time. Though her powers could not be absorbed, the fluid bodies of their enemies made them difficult to stop.

Terra: Blasted T-2 wannabies. Just stay still and die already!

A hail of arrows and magic stikes down the frozen enemies, but they are replaced as fast as they are destroyed.

Terra: They planned well. They divide the attention of the ubers between attack and defense, dropping our ability to strike decisively. Hopefully Sa'vor's got something up his sleeve...
urial angel of death

05-13-06, 07:45 PM		OOC: Remember Jaela is still on the ship. She was never said to have left.

Ketler and Jaela stand, in a room full of mechanical levers, switches, and one ominous red button.
Ketler: Mi-go technology at its finest!
Jaela: So you built it? :)
Ketler: It's flashy to say the least. You like "flashy" right?
Jaela giggles
Ketler: You want to do the honors?
Jaela slams the button.

The entire front of the Forgotten Freedom 2 opens up like a flower. A long metal staft runs from the center of the "petals". Lightning shoots from all over the ship, concentrating at the end of the shaft. After several minutes of charging up the energy shoots off and blasts through the enemy ranks. Even those not directly hit are ripped apart, by the massive shockwave created by the blast.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-13-06, 07:51 PM		OOC: Yes she did, Urial. It wasn't mentioned specifically, no, but it was implied quite strongly right after Sutekh was sealed. Perhaps it's really NJ26. Either way, Ketler needs to stay away from her. :D

IC:

The crew recover from the shockwave and resume the battle. Fortunately, Ketler had aimed high enough that the crew had only suffered from a ringing in their ears.

All of the Ubers: (telepathically to Ketler) DAMMIT, MAN!! NEXT TIME, WARN US BEFORE YOU DO THAT!!!!

Ketler: AUGH!!! IT BURNS!!!
urial angel of death

05-13-06, 08:06 PM		Volrath and Kanatash stand on opposite sides of a hexagram, drawn in a silver substance. Carved up redshirts dot the entire symbol. The silver substance is letting off a purple smoke.
Volrath: Oh great reverend grandfather;
Kanatash: Bringer of death;
Volrath: Essence of the begining and the end;
Kanatash: The alpha and the omega;
Both: Heed our call;
Dark energy crackles in the air.
Both: Come, Azathoth!
Above the ship forms an amorphous, shpere shaped, mass. It grows hundreds of tencales. Each one seems to suck the mind right out, of any creature it touches.
Kanatash: (hugs Volrath) I am so proud of you. :weep:
Phantomcrossing

05-13-06, 09:57 PM		Norbaz falls back into the medical bay, slamming the door shut behind him. Some of the enemy forces had somehow gotten below decks and had found him while he was getting a drink, only to find himself faced with inumerable hordes that had found their way into the ship.

Norbaz: Damn, Mick keeps a back door right.

The half giant looks back and forth around the room and sighs...some times, some times it didn't pay to be on a ship that was a nexus of all time.

Moments later, kicking open Mick's back door, with a comatose Andrea under one arm, and her IV held in the other, Norbaz bolts down the corridor then past another group of the invaders. During this running, someone began waking up...being carried under someone's arm, and looking back at their pursuers.
Andrea took stock of her surroundings beyond these immediate pieces of information, noticing she was hooked up to one of Mickey Nine Fingers's booze potion IV lines, explaining a slight buzz she was feeling, and being carried by a very long and powerful arm.

Andrea: What is going on?
Crystalforged

05-13-06, 11:01 PM		After a few moments Kanatash breaks off his hug with Volrath and looks grim.

Kanatash: Volrath, do you think you can handle Azathoth alone?

Volrath: I believe so but why do you ask uncle? Where are you going?

Kanatash: Azathoth is powerful no doubt, but even he will not be enough to fully stem the tide I fear. It simply isn't enough. You know what that means.

Volrath: NO! Please don't do it uncle! There must be another way!

Kanatash: Perhaps but we do not have the time to search for another way. You must direct Azathoth into battle alone, and I will do what must be done. Before I go I would just like to say you have been like a son to me and I ask you to remember the good times. Goodby.

Kanatash teleports out of the room while Volrath stands where he was. A single tear runs down his face and he leads Azathoth from the room.

---

Kanatash reappears in the middle of an extradimensional holding cell. Bellow him an innumerable purple haired Kalashtar swarm.

Crystals: YEAH, LIKE ITS KANATASH!!!

Kanatash: Yes, yes, its me. I have a deal to propose to you. (opening a viewing rift to the battle) You see those creatures the crew is fighting? If you go and fight them then after they are all dead I, I, I... (takes a deep breath) I will allow you all one hour of unrestricted access to me.

Crystals: LIKE DEAL!

Kanatash rips a hole in space leading onto the battlefield and millions of Crystals swarm onto the field. They begin using their psychic abilities and sheer numbers to tear appart their foes. They particularly enjoy dominating the mind of one to turn it against the others. C'tan should almost certainly be immune to this tactic but as luck would have it no one informed the Crystals of this. Kanatash stands on a high bluff watching the battle while gateing in horrors from Xoriat and using Baleful Teleport on any C'tan which comes to close.

Kanatash: (sigh) I'm suddenly looking forward to winning this battle a lot less. I just hope the Crystals will be enough.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-14-06, 12:39 AM		OOC: Poor Kanatash. No one deserves that. Not even him.

IC:

Terra looks upon the battle field, trapped into the defense of her part of the line. The moment she lets down her guard, the C'tan leaders will strike. Yet, she could not simply sit and watch as her friends were worn down by the relentless assault. Out of the corner of her eye, a mass of purple decends upon the enemy line. The high pitched screeching regarding Kanatash confirms the direness of the situation.

Terra: I hate to use them untested, but now is not the time to be stingy...

Opening up several large extradimensional portals in the air around her, Terra summons the fruits of her, Tifa's, and Caralot's breeding program. From the portals, giant chocobos erupt in a fury of demonic power. Unfurling their wings, they soar toward the enemy, raining death upon the hordes. Fire, ice, acid, and lightning pour from their mouths, decimating swaths of the C'tan forces. The C'tan leaders shower them with spells, but they show little damage thanks to their innate magical resistance.

Terra: They seem to be further along than I had expected...

Giant Demonic Chocobos: WAAAAAARK OF DOOOOOMM!!!!
Rei32491

05-14-06, 01:18 AM		Nalfein awakens after a long sleep. He gets up, testing his now healed leg, then picks the Book of the Stilled Tongue off the pedestal.

Nalfein: Finally! Volrath should be happy. Now to return to Eberron!

Nalfein thinks for a moment, then...

Nalfein: Which I have no idea how to do...

***

As Volrath prepares to leave the ship with Azathoth, Cuddles comes up behind him.

Cuddles: Where do you think you're going? You still need to bring Nalfein back...

Volrath: Bring him back...?

Cuddles: You didn't...

Volrath: Uh-oh...

***

After realizing he is trapped in Greyhawk with no way of retun, Nalfein is running in small circles around the pedestal, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Nalfein: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

Volrath is currently two feet off the ground, his cloak in Cuddles jaws.

Cuddles: (growling) 'ring hign gnak gnow...

Volrath: Ok, OK!!! Just let me down!

Returning quickly to the room he sent Nalfein from, Volrath reactivates the sigil. A portal opens up, and a screaming Nalfein runs through. Unaware of his current situation, he continues running in circles, this time around Volrath.

Nalfein: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

After a few moments, Cuddles picks him up, his legs still flailing wildly underneath him. Volrath slaps him silly.

Volrath: GET IT TOGETHER, MAN!!!

Nalfein: You left me there!!!

Volrath: (looks at Cuddles) How many times can I say 'my bad'?

Nalfein: Whatever. So, what've I missed?

Volrath stares at him, unable to decide where to begin. During the commotion, none of them notice a shadow pass through the portal as it closes...

OOC: A cookie to anyone who gets the 'screaming in little circles' reference.
rampant

05-14-06, 07:19 AM		Stange shadow moves accross the FF, ... and gets jump by a rather irked satnak.

Satnak - No. Time. For. This. *gut punch* Now stay down until we settle this first ok.

----------
Satnak - (inner monolouge)

This is serious.

I can't hold back any more.

I can't keep hiding it.

Its time.

They've earned the truth many times over.

I can't call them my family if I don't.

Levy help me this is gonna suck.

A glamour drops revealing a left arm that seems almost normal. Except for the Blue tatoo that looks like a sea dragon swallowing Satnak's arm starting at the fingers, and the head working its way up the elbow. Her armor is now a perfect custom fit with energy channels inlaid and stange alloys making up its construction. The new model lacks helmet or gauntlets, but it does have a new flexible cloth-like layer visible under the shrunken plates which have pulled away from the joints.

-----------

Satnak exits the ship (cue dramatic butt kicking music), her new look is remarked upon and a wave of fear rolls through the more knowledgable crew. The only way Satnak would have regenerated her old arm was if she was a lot more capable than advertised, and believed herself more dangerous with her own hands.

Sa'vor - If I weren't desperate I'd be very afraid.

Satnak - This is one Levy taught me herself. Its called the "Impossible Combo 3".

Satnak leaps into the C'tan formation and grabs one of the leaders. She swings it about like a gith-yanki with a silver sword. As she wields the sad creature she forces her energies through it burning out its mind and power structure. Now its form is hers to command, an enormous ribbon of liquid metal richochets throuh the C'tan ranks infecting each new target with Satnak's commands. Once enough are linked she channels the whole lot into an astral construct in the form of a great serpent. The monster then rips the majority of the enemy stronghold right out of the ground. For the first in a long time Slip sees the sky as her ceiling is ripped away.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-14-06, 07:43 AM		( Sa'vor hovers above his legions shouting orders and blasting any C'tan lords that come into his range. he reaches out with his mind across the C'tans hordes, the tide was stemming. Sa'vor smiled, time to turn the tables)
Sa'vor: Advance forward foot legions, pike and spear in front, Sword behind. Skirmishers, Chariots and Mounted warriors on the flanks. Spell casters and healers in the middle. *telepathicaly to the artilary behind the armies* Open fire on the fortress, we'll force them to retreat.

( the armies to as commanded, and they begin to march forwards at a pace faster than the C'tan, thier mobile magical shields repelling the magic hurled at them. the C'tan continue to advance and the two armies clash, the C'tan lacking in mounted units or skirmishers are caught of gaurd by the hit and run attacks on the flanks. the move forwards to attempt to attack but the long pikes either sqewer them or their cut apart by the pike ranks swordsmen. the archers advance up the flanks and take higher ground then they unleash barrages of arrows and bolts at the enemies backs. Sa'vor signalled for the artilary to stop, he couldnt risk killing slip. Sa'vor dropped to the ground in frong of the pike men and summoned his mind blades, these two small Kama like blades moved with lightning speed as Sa'vor practised his ancheint combat techniques mixed in with martial arts. the C'tan where cut apart before him as he drove his legion in a spear head shape forcing the C'tan to part to allow him through. then with a sinal of a hand, Feal-Thas took charge and Sa'vor took flight once again, this time towards the fortress. The Spear head parted and formed two equal parts, now the C'tan where being attacked form all sides.)
***
( Anubis, Lord of all C'tan looked on. his liquid metal body was the colour of ebony, his jackle head stared down at his horde in disjust, Defeated they would be soon. He felt Sa'vor approaching. Soon, his master, the great Bel-Shammaroth, Devourer of Stars, Soul eater. would be allowed into this world, and he would be a god! it was then the door exploded,Anubis looked through the clearing smoke to see, Slip standing there, in her left hand a Glittering mindblade pulsed gently)
Anubis: So you have come to slay me?

Slip: what happened to the priests?

Anubis: they where no longer required, once they taught us how to create living metal and the Necrodermis in which we where housed. they where consumed and their energy added to that required to bring Bel Shammaroth into this realm. the fools really thought that We, the C'tan, would grant them power! they where mere cattle to us.

Slip: well, your plans end here. Sa'vors coming soon, and before then you'll be dead.

Anubis: such assumptions made by such a puny mortal. my, that is quite surprising. well, i dont what to disappiont you but...
( Unleashes a wave of flame that consumes slip) I have work to do.

( Anubis felt a Horrible pain in his back, he turned and brought his arm round in a sweeping arc,it passed through air. a mocking laugh errupted from the shadows at his right)
Slip: you really thought i'd be stupid enough to just WALK in here? no, it was merely a mirror image.
( Anubis slowly drew on his power and struck out to his left, guessing that she would be using ventrilquism to confuse him. another sharp pain, this time errupted in his lower back. Anubis doubled over in pain, then he reached out with his senses and detected her life force and magical signature. he struck out suddenly, catching her off gaurd. it was then that a huge forty foot statue toppled on top of anubis, the work of his repeated blasts in that area. anubis felt his necrodermis breach, and his essence flow out. well, the whas one thing he could do. he placed his essence into the rift that was required to bring forth Bel Shammaroth. The portal began to slowly open)
rampant

05-14-06, 08:04 AM		Satnak - Slip get out of here this my fight now.

Slip - No way you can take that alone.

Satnak - My sister was ten times the threat this cretin poses, no one of any real power would be held by such pathetic seals as these. I did'nt spend 10 years training under the Dragons of Heart and Mind to lose to this putz. The time for trinkets is over I refuse to fail my family again. My name is Satnak, and I will destroy this weakling.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-14-06, 10:45 AM		OOC: Forgive me, but this was way too good to pass up. :evillaugh

THE VOICE: I HAVE AN IDEA.

Random Entity from Non-exsitance: Let's hear it.

THE VOICE whispers.

Crow: :OMG!

Silver: That's insane.

Crow: More than usual.

Silver: Kantash bringing out the Crystals wasn't nearly that bad.

Crow: Satnak will never forgive us.

Everyone: :devil:
***
Silver appears above the battle now in her god form, the many-headed snake with heads in a starfish pattern, her wings vibrating. Millions of crows flew out, some to the remains on the battlefield, and some to the side of the Forgotten Freedom. The crows from the ship deposit something in one of Silver's mouths, the other wtick bits of dead flesh into her necks.

Jarlot: Ugh. That's seriously disguisting—

Silver's necks disgorge their contents: hundreds of different kinds of Jarlots. Batman, Chuck Jarlot, Samurai Jarlot, Spider Jarlot, Han Jarlot, Jarlot Sparrow, etc. The C'tan screech and flee from the dreadful clichés and stunning effectiveness of the Alt-Jarlots.

Jarlot: Even I think that's just wrong.

Crow: Hey, look on the bright side. Keanu Jarlot is banned by the Geneva conventions.
Rei32491

05-14-06, 03:01 PM		24: Regardless of what she says, the rule stating that Satnak can't destory plot devices still stands.
Ataur

05-14-06, 03:05 PM		5655. Any pilot caught chanting "I am a leaf on the wind" during difficult flight maneuvers will be pistol whipped.

5656. During the maneuver.

5657. The correct verbal component for a Fireball spell is not "KAMEHAMEHAAAAAA!!!!!". Nor is it "Ha Do Ken!"

5658. Violators will be pistol whipped.

5659. Do not refer to the Warforged as "Al".

5660. Or "Alphonse".

5661. Or anything from Adult Swim. Or be pistol whipped.

5662. You may not sell your "returning" weapons only to "yoink" them back into your hand as you run out of the store.

5663. There is no sentient meatball, milkshake, or order of french fries aboard this ship. So stop asking.

had to get it out... love the story, btw.
rampant

05-14-06, 03:23 PM		Satnak - Those alt-j's aren't plot devices anymore. They're just overused, nobody does anything with them except whine about how I shouldn't smush em. Can we get back to Slip high tailing it out of here and Bel's big reveal so I can trounce it?
urial angel of death

05-14-06, 03:36 PM		Within Volrath's legions march Thranish citizens, some sans skin. They walk forward, completely ignoring the C'tan battalion rushing at them. Just as the C'tan begin to close in, those Thranes without skin burst open. From them fly hundreds of neogi larva; who rip and tear the C'tan soldiers. Those with skin merely hold up their hands. Their hands erupt in blasts of electricity, arcing out and striking the C'tan. With each blast more and more of their flesh is torn off, to reveal Ketler brand Terminators™. The C'tan turn and attempt to retreat, only to find themselves facing a platoon of Sa'vor's half-dragons. A massacre ensues.
Crystalforged

05-14-06, 04:14 PM		OOC: Actually I have some plans for the Alt Jarlots after things cool down here, but I'm not going to go into that now. :schemes:



IC: Seeing the battle is turning in their favor Kanatash teleports away from his post on top of a bluff into the castle where Slip and Satnak are.

Kanatash: By the way Satnak, if you are so confidant about your ability to defeat this Bel-Shammaroth being would you terribly mind taking it alive for me? I've never had the opertunity to break a god before.

Slip: Wait a second, how do you know about all that? You weren't around to hear any of our conversations and I know you haven't been reading our minds.

Kanatash: Instinctive plot knowledge. It comes from being so crazy that my mind transcends the bounds of causality.
rampant

05-14-06, 04:25 PM		Satnak - I make no promises, but if you can promise not to let it get out and mess the carpets or something. Plus your on your own for binding it, but if it stops struggling I'll try not to kill it.
urial angel of death

05-14-06, 04:37 PM		OOC: It would be nice if we learned what the lesser used crew members were doing. I'll start.

Bolt-tooth Tony climbs up on deck, carrying a spear spikard. He lays it on the railing and lines up for a shoot. Just as he begins to pull the trigger, another blast erupts from Ketler's big gun. This forces BT's spikard up, and his shoot arcs into the the air.
BT: Damn it Ketler! Want me before you shoot that thing!
Ketler: Sorry!
BT again lines up for a shoot, and sends a bolt ripping through a C'tan.
BT: Still got it.
rampant

05-14-06, 05:19 PM		On the front lines.

Silence - Ow that ***** pulled my earings. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-***** SLAP

Offending C'tan is now a handprint. ... in the sky?
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-14-06, 05:56 PM		OOC: It would be nice if we learned what the lesser used crew members were doing.
OOC: Most of them are running for their lives to the bar, since if the universe goes the bar will remain. It's also not easy to write things for all of them. But let's give it a try. :D

IC: The infultrating C'tan are systematically searching the ship for any crewmembers. One of them walks in on Hoybee, who's still trying to decide on what spells to prepare for battle.

Hoybee: Let's see, I should have at least one message for an emergency…

He has his back to the C'tan, and doesn't notice it ready to fire a blast.

Hoybee reads some weird words. The C'tan turns into a rotary-dial telephone.

Hoybee: No, wait, I think I read this part wrong…
***
Silence is listening to loud emo music in her corner of the hold, so she doesn't notice the two C'tan sneaking up on her.

The two C'tan get within hearing range.

The music is Silence singing Devon's poetry. :devil:
***
Hoybee reads the words again. The C'tan turns from a goat into a porcelain toilet.

Hoybee: Nope, still not right.
***
Little Old Dwarf Lady (aka Martha Greyholm):…and in my day we made our own clothes, of course that was back in the day when you could get decent fabric for only 1 cp, we knew about fahsion back then, not like kids today…

C'tan: (completely immobalized with boredom)
***
Hoybee: Fiftyieth times the charm.

The now the lady's hat with the stuffed duck on top changes into a kitten.

Aljihazi passes the door. He comes back. He looks at the kitten.

The kitten sees the look in his eyes.

Kitten: Aw, :censored: !

OOC: Someone has to do a Klaz doing a Croc Hunter thing with some C'tan. I can't write that well. :weep:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-14-06, 06:27 PM		OOC: Someone has to do a Klaz doing a Croc Hunter thing with some C'tan. I can't write that well. :weep:

OOC: Ask and ye shall receive. Let's see...

IC:

Klaz stands before two C'tan, speaking to the camera held by Vrin. The creatures stand dumbfounded at Klaz's incomprehensible accent and lack of common sense.

Klaz: Now then, ladies an' gents. These 'ere are C'tan. These babies ah right nasty creatures that'll suck tha lifeforce right outta ya. This one 'ere's a beaut, in't she?

C'tan 1: Um, I happen to be male...

Klaz: Crickey! You jus' got a real treat theah, folks. Few 'ave eva 'eard one o' these killing machines speak an' live to tell tha tale!

C'tan 2: What is wrong with you, flesh bag?! We are the scourge of the living, borne of a terror from the depths of existance! We are to be feared, not admired!

Klaz: (ignoring him) Now, don' try this at 'ome, folks. I'm a professional, and theahfo', completely out o' me mind.

He walks slowly up to one of the C'tan and reaches out to touch it. The floor below them suddenly gives way, and they fall into a large pit of spikes. They peirce the creature's necromdermis', causing them to disintegrate.

Roosevelt: Gods, I love my job. :devil:
rampant

05-14-06, 06:46 PM		This ROTFL moment brough to you by Dragonmeat den.

1/2 off if you kill it yourself.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-14-06, 06:50 PM		Kaizer Ryu: :heehee

Especially:
Roosevelt: Gods, I love my job. :devil:
:rofl:
rampant

05-14-06, 07:09 PM		Y/R/P - We're trapped /why did we have to raid the kitchen before/ heading to the safe zone like mommy said.

C'tan forces have flanked the 3 sisters in a narrow corridor.

Y/R/P - This is/ gonna/ hurt

Sakura - *Cherry Berry Thunder Kick* I've opened a way through lets go.

Y/R/P - You really/ saved our / hides back there.

Sakura - No problem (grins)

Y/R/P - :love:
(don't hate me its in the rules of magical girl stories, well at least the ones I've seen)
Kaizer_Ryu

05-14-06, 08:18 PM		Kaizer Ryu: :heehee

Glad you liked it. I never realized how hard it is to write with an accent until I started that joke. Must...fight...grammer nazi...impulses...
Endless_Helix

05-14-06, 09:43 PM		Later in the Lab, Volrath and Kanatash are examining the remains of the C’tan that have died in the battle so far.

Volrath : Hey Uncle!

Kanatash : Mmmm?

Volrath : Look what I found in the big metallo-snakey thing’s guts! * hoists up a slightly dissolved book*

Kanatash : Maybe it was a Bibliovore?

Volrath : Nah... I found evidence that it was a true omnivore. I mean it ate one of my abberations, which ended up killing it, but still...

Kanatash : So, what book is it?

Volrath : I don’t know. The cover is illegible thanks to the gastric acid, and I haven’t opened it yet because it might be trapped.

Kanatash : Showing good, healthy paranoia. Disenchant it and find out.

Volrath : *Mord’s Dysjunction*

Volrath flips to the end and stops for a second and laughs

Volrath : HeehehehhahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Uncle, you simply must read this!
------------------------------------
This is the last will and testament of Ishmael, the redshirt. As I sit here, my tentacles are slowly melting into the stomach acids of this dying beast, broken, writing that someone may one day know the circumstances of my death.

I was lurking outside Sakura’s room, hoping for a glimpse of her, when the battle broke out. I know not why we fought, but I killed that I could survive. Our enemies were strange, metallic skeletons and god-like beings of immense power. They appeared to have some form of regeneration, because the skeletons tended to get back up after they were dead. The god-like ones were of all different shapes and abilities.

We survived the first wave, but were losing badly when the second came along; They just kept coming. I had all of my attack spells, oils, and potions. I even scrounged for a sword I could use. I did all I could, but there were too many of them. Then a strange soothing, liquid feeling fell over the remaining defenders, and the tides turned to balance. We got some new magic from those on the ship, as well. I assume it was Ketler who creating the lightning generator and blew apart a large part of the enemy force, as well as a large part of ours. Frankly, he’s the only one who’s stupid enough to try something like that. Ajihazi was supposed to be our field commander, but he had a philosophical discussion with his pink elephants, and Micheal was his second in command, but was so drunk that he was calling for Doog to help him with his fly. It was aparently stuck.

Only myself, the Phollies, and twenty of the other redshirts were left out of my comrades, discluding the leaders, though comrades is far too kind a word for these scum. I’d made a small place we could hide against the next wave. Let the Forgotten Freedom deal with its own messes. The redshirts have enough on their hands just surviving. I could even see the next wave, but then I heard singing, like angels, coming from accross the battlefield. My left intestine is beginning to smolder; I do not have long.

Sakura was singing and playing hopscotch among the fallen. It may not have been hopscotch, but that isn’t the point. The point was that the next wave had arrived. We defended the oblivious maiden from her doom, but alas it was all too weak. One of the god-beings, a gigantic metallic serpent was staring down at her, as one would stare at a pork pie.

I, not even thinking, jumped between them as the snake began to attempt to eat that perfect, divine child. Sakura was asking the abomination where the captain was.

I can recall her last words to me. She poked me and laughed. She said “It’s just like Jell-O! Hey, can I call you ‘Mister Jell-O-ee’? Please?” I turned one of my eyestalks toward her, and winked as the giant serpent closed it’s jaws around me. In a frantic attempt to survive, I jabbed my sword on the edge of the horror’s throat. The muscle action pulled me and my sword down , slitting the things neck into ribbons.

And now, I lie dissolving, a god’s last snack. Good bye fair reader, may the fates be kinder to you than they have been to me. Fare well cruel world!
~Ishmael
------------------
Volrath : Pretty funny, eh?

Kanatash is rolling on the ceiling with laughter. He finally comes down after a few minutes

Kanatash : I needed that. Wait, is the aberration's corpse still there?

Volrath : *checks* Yep. Why do you ask? I mean, it’s pretty dead and all.

Kanatash : Hmmm... could have sworn I felt a plot device waft in. Normally I can smell those a universe away.

Volrath : But... Uncle, plot devices happen to important people, like us. Are you feeling all right?

Kanatash : Yeah, you’re right; after all, it was only a redshirt.

The END

OOC: Sorry folks, Ishmael bit the dust (at least for a while), but there will be more journals from other redshirts. Don't you worry on that account.
JakeQuistis

05-14-06, 09:59 PM		Allen's Log, Journeydate 14
I've been trying to figure out what the artifact I found does, but nothing seemed to work... Today, I thought about my childhood. Ah, the days of my youth, like the smell of fresh lemon. I remember back when I became the first Artificer ever... But then those young upstart Mi-Go dudes came up out of nowhere, and created things I probably wouldn't have even thought of. But then they blew themselves up with one of them. Perhaps their short lives gave them their incredible thirst for knowledge, that they wanted to fit into a 100 year life what would take 1000 years to accomplish normally. These mortals always seem to have the jump on us immortals. And the mortals these days, thinking that just because you're a vampire you are afraid of sunlight, hate garlic and sacred/holy things, and can't cross running water. Plus, they think you go around sucking the blood out of everything you see! I mean, thinking about it reasonably, if all that was true, no vampires would exist anymore. They would have so many weaknesses, yet people always think they are incredibly powerful. But that's mortals for you..

Allen's Log, Journeydate 15
I found a hidden village of ninjas today. Strangely enough, they seem to be completely different from the ninjas I had known. Instead of wearing black, and being really really good at hiding, these seem to focus on a strange type of magic, that I couldn't comprehend. I just felt sorry for them, knowing that they wouldn't stand a chance out in the world outside this land, especially on board the Forgotten Freedom. Although, perhaps if I use some of their theories, I could increase my powers....
Kaizer_Ryu

05-14-06, 10:15 PM		OOC: Ishmael's dead?! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! :weep: Though I look forward to more Redshirt journals...

IC:

The Demon Chocobos continue their rampage and the enemy numbers are finally beginning to thin (as far as several million turning to about a million means thinning). The arcane constructs have begun targeting them, slowly timing their flight patterns. In a lucky barrage, they manage to bring one down. Terra looks on, completely pi**ed.

Terra: Oh, they are so going down...

She raises her hand and a giant ball of druidic, arcane, and psionic energy forms. She aims and fires at the offending group, striking in the center. One takes the blast head on and disintegrates. The others convulse wildly, and finally burst as the shadows within them tear them asunder.

Terra: Suck on that, bi**hes...
Crystalforged

05-14-06, 11:33 PM		Satnak - I make no promises, but if you can promise not to let it get out and mess the carpets or something. Plus your on your own for binding it, but if it stops struggling I'll try not to kill it.
Kanatash: Don't worry, if you can take it alive and give it a few zorches to suppress its more impressive abilities I can take it from there and I have a truely twisted fate prepared for it. :evillaugh
Charles Phipps

05-14-06, 11:42 PM		OOC: Special thanks to RPG.net.

Terra: So ummm....Sakura...where are you from?

Sakura: Oh, I'm from Eberron originally but I was raised in another campaign setting.

Terra: *thinks* Oh great, she's a nutcase like Jarlot.

Sakura: It's called ROKUGAN.

Terra: So what were you in this....Rokugan.

Sakura: I shall tell you....IN SONG.

Terra: Oh hell.

Sakura: The Very Model of A Wealthy Crane-Type Daimyo....

Terra: Oh hell times times twice...

Sakura:
I am the very model of a wealthy Crane-type Daimyo,
I've visited the Emperor's court, there's no one there I do not know,
I know my genealogy, I've tons of friends who give me stuff
Whenever I go out to shop, of koku I have quite enough;
I'm gentle and I'm genteel and I'm never ever crude or gruff,
I carry a Kakita blade, its saya I would never scuff
All the urchins love me, and they tell me all the local news
My clan it is adored by all, we always win, we never lose.

MAGISTRATES (that appear out of nowhere)
Her clan it is adored by all, they always win, they never lose.
Her clan it is adored by all, they always win, they never lose.
Her clan it is adored by all, they always win, they never lose.

Sakura:
I'm very good at poetry and difficult kenjutsu duels;
If anyone can better me my clan will simply change the rules:
I've visited the Emperor's court, there's no one there I do not know,
I am the very model of a wealthy Crane-type Daimyo.

MAGISTRATES:
She's visited the Emperor's court, there's no one there she does not know,
She is the very model of a wealthy Crane-type Daimyo.

Sakura:
I know our clan's great history, Fu Leng's and those other guys;
I know the ways of makeup, and of complicated obi ties.
When speaking at a party I can talk at length of Shinsei lore
I'm really quite good looking, I have suitors flocking by the score;
I paint, I hawk, I write, I sing, I do most any "High Skill" things
I am the greatest courtier of all within the Legend of Five Rings
I do a mean court fan dance, too, the classic's I've all read
And if you dare make fun of me, my clan will have your head.

MAGISTRATES:
And if you dare make fun of her, her clan will have your head.
And if you dare make fun of her, her clan will have your head.
And if you dare make fun of her, her clan will have your head.

Sakura:
I never really have to work, 'cause that's what I have servants for
And when I walk I glide along, my feet don't really touch the floor:
I've visited the Emperor's court, there's no one there I do not know,
I am the very model of a wealthy Crane-type Daimyo.

MAGISTRATES:
She's visited the Emperor's court, there's no one there she does not know,
She is the very model of a wealthy Crane-type Daimyo.

Sakura:
In fact, when I buy twenty lanterns 'cuz I can't decide which one is best
When I shop from dawn to dusk and never, ever really stop to rest,
When koku fly out of my purse as though it were a waterfall
When my selections grow so large the peasants can't collect them all
When I have purchased nifty toys that come from gaijin 'cross the sea,
When I spend more than you make in a whole year of work on tea --
In short, when I've gone on a real expensive shopping spree,
You'll say "The Crane are really cool, I really wish that it was me."

MAGISTRATES:

You'll say "The Crane are really cool, I really wish that it was me."
You'll say "The Crane are really cool, I really wish that it was me."
You'll say "The Crane are really cool, I really wish that it was me."

Sakura:
The emperor protects my clan, he likes me more than you, you see
For all you do in Rokugan, its still viewed secondarily;
I've visited the Emperor's court, there's no one there I do not know,
I am the very model of a wealthy Crane-type Daimyo.

MAGISTRATES:
She's visited the Emperor's court, there's no one there she does not know,
She is the very model of a wealthy Crane-type Daimyo

Sakura: TAH-DAH!

Terra: *flees quickly*
Kaizer_Ryu

05-14-06, 11:53 PM		*Terra pulls out a mini tape recorder*

Terra: Note to self: Keep Sakura away from anything I make. The Captain will have my head.

*stops the tape recorder, thinks, then starts it again*

Terra: PS: Still need to figure out how her parentage works.

*once again, stops then starts*

Terra: PPS: Must first figure out if I even want to know.
rampant

05-15-06, 01:31 AM		Satnak - The freak better hurry up, I've been tweaking the portal hes got another 30 seconds before I've turned it into a bind crystal.

Kanatash - OOOOHHH I'll get the limes.
Charles Phipps

05-15-06, 01:37 AM		Ishmael's Journal
Day 1

Call me Ishamel....Junior.

I have come to the Forgotten Freedom to figure out what happened to my father whom came here a full month ago and never returned. Despite the fact he was a lout and abandoned us, he nevertheless was an individual whom I looked up to. Before going on this treacherous and dangerous undercover mission, I made certain to give all of my worldly wealth to the Church of the Traveller in hopes he'll look out for me over this day.

My first day on the ship was peculiar to say the least.

The first person I encountered on the ship was a Kalashatar, you can tell by their pale skin and blue eyes along with the tightly woven skin around their faces. He greeted me with the peculiar statement "I shall slowly peel the skin from your mind and make you suffer."

That was when a strange white haired girl with two pony tails and wearing a uniform similiar to the ones Sarlonan Schoolgirls wear lept out of the bushes and hit him with a mallet shouting "HOW DARE YOU ENDANGER AN INNOCENT! I SHALL SMITE YOU IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!"

I must confess that the woman's voice was rather earsplitting. The beautiful young girl, a bit young for my tastes though (but probably not my fathers), then was about to say more to the strange kalashatar when a lovely older woman...though not by much with a flower basket came out to ask what I was here for. Thinking that 'to avenge my father' was not the response a merciless band of pirates wanted, I promptly told her that it was my wish to become a buccaneer. To that end I was handed a Red Uniform with a number on it, apparently something that is a uniform around here. I also was forced to sign numerous contracts from insurance with the beneficiary being the rest of the crew, a disclaimer over any health damage I may construe, and furthermore funerary arrangements of which there was only "Tossed over the Side", "Chilli", and "Re-animation" to choose from.

I have quickly deduced the pecking order that compromises the Forgotten Freedom. This compromises a fairly complex and bizarre system of alliances and treaties between fairly powerful beings.

The Captain is theoretically in charge of the ship and I've discovered he rules because he seems to be quite immortal and utterly insane. Earlier this morning I saw him 'testing his hit points' by having a cannon fired at him at point blank range...it didn't seem to affect him. I personally have discovered that he may be hiding something from the crew since I found that all of his liquor cabinet is marked with the words Healing, Strength, Fearlessness, Heroism and other words on it with some having +1 or other weird medical information upon it. He seems to drink them like a fish might. On the other hand, his skill as a warrior seems undeniable even if I don't believe a single one of the stories he randomly speaks on.

The Demon I term the Kalashatar and I have discovered he's effectively a Captain in his own right with his position being one of absolute authority over most of the crew. Strangely, there seems to be an unwritten rule that he is not allowed to harm someone whom has not performed irredeemable crimes of some kind amongst the crew but as (see below) this seems rarely a problem and is barely a concern for the Captain. In any case, he is a monster and strangely even his allies seem to hold him in somewhat of disgust. I've been told the best way to ward him off is when I am alone with him to say "Oh Hello Crystal...” just off to the side. To my horror, the Demon is in charge of my mental health though and it explains much about the ships’ moral.

The Blessed form another part of the crew with their leader being a shining maiden whom spends most of her time abed. She has however lent her hammer to the Lady whom rescued me earlier though in order to ‘Punish the Guilty.’ I have secretly snuck into the young woman’s room to acquire evidence about my father and found myself rather painfully assaulted by the hammer for ‘perversion’ but I have caught a glimpse of something amazing amongst her belongs....a Pontiff’s Crook and Hat. Very curious.

The Bad are another part of the crew of which the leader seems to be another lovely woman of which whom promptly threatened to feed me to various carnivorous plants when I complimented her loveliness. She apparently is a druidess of some kind and has something of an issue with male attempts at flirtation...or maybe it was just my reputation as a man who invades young women’s rooms at night. Also amongst this group is a Half-Orc whom I was dangled over the edge several times by but whom promptly burst into tears when I mentioned my patron saint of Michael. After that he got utterly drunk and vowed to ***** for the rest of his life even with ‘disgusting women’ in honor him.

The Crew itself is quite possibly the scurviest band of cuttthroats in the history of mankind though. I have discovered that most of them are survivors of other pirate gangs, terrorists, members of various psychotic cults, and the insane. I have wondered how the crew replenishes itself so quickly but I discovered soon when the Forgotten Freedom had its first attack....upon a Airship of the Emerald Claw. After the nightmarish causalties, Captain Jarlot offered the survivors the chance to join the crew and more of the vile order was promptly added to the ranks. I dare not sleep amongst the rapists, pedestrists, and further scum of the planet that make up most of them and instead sought refuge elsewhere...

I must confess my childhood longings lead me to try and sleep on a room with a teddy bear on the bed, only to find the Doll Golem turn violently upon me.

In the end, I ended up bunking in the corner of a buxom woman’s room that allowed me to stay with her so long as I acknowledged my one and only Lord was Captain Jarlot. Her room was utterly decorated in miniature portraits and outright portraits of the Captain. She had furthermore meticulously marked everything in the room to being objects he had touched or possessed in some way. She also kept countless kickboxing equipment within and her morning exercises was attractive but fairly frightening to view.

My night would have ended peacefully were not for being briefly grabbed by a man wearing a wax mask and bandages over his body claiming to be “The New V” and demanding to know if I would deliver a letter to Lisa.

Very strange.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-15-06, 01:49 AM		:rofl: :heehee YAY! Terra got mentioned in a journal!

Just to clear up any misunderstandings, she's not averse to compliments, just crude/obvious pick up attempts. Such as...well...anything Devon or Michael would say (though maybe not Michael so much anymore).
Charles Phipps

05-15-06, 02:11 AM		:rofl: :heehee YAY! Terra got mentioned in a journal!

Just to clear up any misunderstandings, she's not averse to compliments, just crude/obvious pick up attempts. Such as...well...anything Devon or Michael would say (though maybe not Michael so much anymore).

Ishmael Jr.'s attempts to fit in and inability to say anything appropriate to women are something that sets him apart from his father (that and his likelihood of surviving til his first paycheck)
Charles Phipps

05-15-06, 02:25 AM		OOC: Please note anyone can do Ishmael Jr. logs and special thanks to Ishmael's creator.

Ishmael Junior's Journal
Day 2

Working on the Forgotten Freedom is 80% struggling to survive the abuses of the crew and 20% doing actual ship management. I have managed to acquire myself a position as 'Crew Member 13#' due to the fact that all but 12# crew members senior to me have been killed off. This occurred quite suddenly when a Air Skiff shaped like a sports lightning carriage zoomed up beside us and a Brelish Dark Lantern....I think his name was Hunter, James Hunter....lept on. He promptly machine guned down a large portion of the crew, got into martial arts fights with others, and seduced one of the female crew before the Captain threw him over the edge. Then six more crew died in an explosion of one of Ketler's devices. Finally, Lisa got in a duel with a Illithid and slew it when it tried to eat me...for which I am very grateful. However, in order to stay in character my offer to please her sensually got me a black eye.

I am currently filling my designated duties of changing crew member Marish's 'sandbox.' My expectations of what that entailed were quite unsurprising given she's a Shifter.

Captain Jarlot meanwhile decided we once more needed to refill the 40 member crew that is necessary to pilot the ship since my discovery that most of the "named" crew actually don't do any work on the ship itself. His odd solution to this was to post a 'Fantasy Camp' poster up for the opportunity to play a bloodthirsty buccaneer and charge 50gp per person. The fact he chose to make his recruitment in Xen'drick and the majority of our current crew is cannibalistic Sahuagin doesn't seem to have affected him. He does seem upset they've paid in pearls and corral though. Weirdly, he says he's saving them for some sort of console that he complains is going to cost 500 gold pieces while "bastards can't understand that its hard for him to cough out that much money even for Final Fantasy 13." He then told me he broke up with his first wife because of his second and Aerith still hadn't forgiven him for someone named 'Yuna' that he swore he thought was 18.

I have no idea what he was talking about.

I did get to meet a friendly member of the 'named' crew though in an artificer that only comes out at night, wears a poofy shirt like a gentleman pirate should, and listens to Goth Metal all night while bemoaning his tragic existence. His bed is a peculiar shape too in that it's shaped like a coffin. I think he's some form of poet given he constantly talks about "the boredom of eternal life." Sakura doesn't seem to get a long with him as today she donned a cheerleader outfit and blonde wig before chasing him around with a broken half of a deck mop.

I am still resolved to find out what happened to my father's killer though and sought out the mysterious man in the wax mask whom lived in a sealed off room called 'Michaels.' There he put a light behind him and said "Follow the Money" when I walked in.

I asked him what that meant and then he shouted "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" at me.

He then started smoking and muttered I'd never find out what happened to my sister even with Special Agent Scully's help.

When I informed him I was concerned about my father, he seemed apologetic before I shook my head and left. This has not been a very productive day but I snuck Mr. V the vegetarian meal of the day. I'm not terribly sure what's in the chilli but given they started serving squid right after the Illithid died...I'm not terribly certain I want to find out.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-15-06, 03:18 AM		OOC: Ok, I'm going to give this a shot. I just hope my old-timey English is better than my Australian English...

IC:

Ishmael Jr.'s Journal
Day 3

Today, I was introduced to a young lad by the name of Vorlath. He stared at me for the longest while before asking if he knew me. While I believe he was reminded of my father, I dared not say so before I discovered his fate. The boy had an unsettling air about him, and I figured it best not to get involved with him. My hunch was confirmed when I discovered he was closely aquainted not only with the frightening druidess from the other day, but with The Demon as well.

Though oddities seem to be commonplace aboard this vessel, I saw one of the strangest sights yet today. A smallish black creature, Neogi I believe they are called, was being chased by a wolf-like humaniod, which I later learned to be a changeling named Chalky. What I witnessed seemed to be one of his favorite pasttimes, his other being painting. As a fellow who appreciates art, I may have to aquaint myself with him further.

I daresay that this place may hold some of the greatest curiosities in the world. While performing my daily tasks on deck, I was quite surprised when the bound fire-elemental ring spoke to me. Earl was his name. He seemed to be of upstanding character, offering me several tips on how to survive some inevitable situations. We talked for some time about the dangers of the chilli, and he even gave me a list of hallways to avoid. I would have liked to speak with him further, but a swarm of squirrels decended upon him and began dancing on the poor chap. I thought I knew to expect the unexpected, but still I jumped when he chased them away with a Cone of Cold.

I am still unable to determine what happened to my father, but this day has proven most insightful none the less.
rampant

05-15-06, 03:30 AM		Earl - Well that was wierd.

Doog - What

Earl - last I checked i was a kineticist not a spellslinger

Doog - eh you know how it is on this ship

Earl - true

-------

Satnak - 15 seconds, oh look heres Sa'vor.

Slip - Whoa

Sa'vor - I...

Satnak - Save it for trip back, the both of you out, Kanatash you might want to back up to the maximum practical range from whence to do your binding, on the off chance this loser gets out in time, what is it an apect of sloth or something?

Sa'vor and slip wink out.

Kanatash - (gliding back a distance) Maybe its decided not to mess with you?

Satnak - Possibly but either way 10 seconds and its a paperweight.

ooc : can't wait to see ishmeal jr.'s reaction to kithle, who is still on vacation till the 16th so plz don't jump the gun, yes i know its no longer the cut date, but i'm not waiting that long
urial angel of death

05-15-06, 07:35 AM		OOC: a black neogi :blink: that's hard to picture, but cool once you do :D

Squishy and Tabitha are sorting through various filing cabinets.
Tabitha: This redshirt named Ishmael Jr., do we have to give him the last pay check, that his father didn't pick up.
Squishy: Do you really have ask that question?
Tabitha: ...
Squishy: Well if he comes asking for it, yes. If he doesn't we can't be held accountable. Just hold it until his employment is ended.
Endless_Helix

05-15-06, 09:08 AM		Jarlot : *looking at that Korranberg Chronicle* Hmmm?

I am Codename G, and I am a Redshirt.

I know it sounds demeaning, but an investigative reporter has to do something every now and then. The Sharn Korranberg Chronicle wanted an in depth story about the formost villains of our times, the crew of the Forgotten Freedom. And so I set off to find out more about these scurvy brutes.

The first thing that I'll examine in detail is the hiring policy and techniques. When I got "hired" on I was walking down the more sultry streets of New Sharn, when I spied two people on soap boxes surrounded by a fairly large crowd of all sorts. There were two posters behind the soap boxes. One had a picture of a flamingo and said

Do you want Adventure? Are you a quick thinker with good survival skills? If so, You should JOIN THE FORGOTTEN FREEDOM II!
Visit exotic places, be famous, live in luxury, and above all, live life to the fullest aboard the Forgotten Freedom!

The other said something along the lines "Fame, Fortune, (and scribbled in chalk) Chix, and Fortune on the Forgotten Freedom II. Join up or be a rectangular round thing,"

There was a very lovely lady of thranish descent on one of the soap boxes. She also carried a huge warhammer that was clearly keeping the crowd around her in line. She was handing out fliers to the crowd, detailing the pay, benefits and the life insurance policy onboard. Now that's a pretty strange thing to advertise isn't it?

The other soapboxer was a half orc, I recognized him as the notorious freedom fighter, Doog, famous for liberating several towns in the north of Breland from poverty and stealing from the rich. However, his tactics weren't so benign this time. He simply press-ganged anyone who came within ten feet of him, and anyone who didn't. He carried a spiked chain of impressive length and had managed to pull together nearly fifty poor souls, bound hand, foot, and mouth. Not surprsingly, few people got within fifty yards of him. Well, that and the BO probably didn't help much either.

So I got my application from the woman, Lisa was her name. There was a fifteen page disclaimer on the front of it and several different kinds of insurance that were required (and had to be bought from the Forgotten Freedom, of course). The end result was that you were in debt to the ship between thrity and fifty gold *an hour* because of all the fees they tacked on. Great deal huh?

The ship itself is quite amazing. It, by all means, should be in a junkyard, and would probably fill it. It looks rather like someone took an airship and threw eggs at it until it grew to the size of a giant dragon turtle. As I walked on, a strange ethereal creature handed out shirts, red ones (not surprisingly). They are aparently our namesake. They also have kindly placed a target on each and every one of them.

The same thing was our interviewer. He sat me down, his name was Kanatash, and offered me three choices of gum, Pumpin' Pineapple, Lovin' Lime, and Bustin' Cherry. He had a memo on his wall, "Note to self: Do not let Doog name the gum!" I picked the lime. He asked me where I was from and my vital information. I proceeded to tell him I was a cuttlefish, about twelve inches long, that dressers were my home and I loved him. I think it was the gum. He studiously took down this gibberish and told me I passed with flying colors and thanked me for my time. I answered "Rototill" and smiled.

It took about three hours for the gum to wear off. They were three very interesting hours, but I can't remember much about them. But anyway, on to the redshirts. Here is an exclusive interview with one of the new crew. He emphatically required that he remain unamed. So here is Codname J, the Sahaugin!

G: So, how did you join this fine enterprise?

J: Well, mon, I was like swimmin' roun' the sea and completely trippin' out on some crazy ****. An then my buddee, ______, was like hey, mon, and I was like Hey mon, wassup bro? He like, you want some crazy **** mon, I like, Ay-o, and he like, then join up that crazy Forgotten Freedom, they got the craziest ****. So I like, sweet and join up.

G: How do you like it onboard?

J: Well mon, I think that Terra-chick got the craziest ****, but **** it be hard to take and live bro. Almost half of my bro's who joined from da wata be dead, mon. Just from that ****. The rest o' mah bro's died when that crazy cooky spilled the Chili. That **** is ****** alive mon! I mean, it be jamm-on on dis ship but, you got a lifespan of fifteen secon's when the **** hits da fan.

G: What about the captain?

J: When he ain't drunk, he be stoned, gotta respec dat. He be crazy good fighta too. When he ain't drunk or stoned.

G: What about the facilities here? Do you like them?

J: What facilities you be meanin mon? They don't no exist. You baasically fight it out for floorspace, mon.

G: So- GET DOWN!

KA-BLAM! *Bits of Sauhaugin rain accross the room*

G: ****.


Jarlot: Hunh... oh well... Note to Self: Get some more Sauhaugin, aparently we're out.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-15-06, 12:39 PM		( the portal suddenly closes)

Satnak: well that was easy

Sa'vor: dont be so sure

( before them floats a tall humaniod form, his liquid metal body glows gold, and from his eyes burn a abysal red light)
Bel-Shammaroth: I am the Bel Shammaroth, Lord of Despair, The Soul Eater, Render of a thousand realityies! fear my power!

Satnak:Is that all you have to say?

Sa'vor: Dont mock the extrademisonal entity!

Satnak: why? i can slay gods with one punch?

Sa'vor: not only is it stupid, but also its tacky.

Bel Shammaroth: *ahem*

Slip: yes?

Bel Shammaroth: i believe your here to stop me yes?

Sa'vor: that would be correct

Bel Shammaroth: well then, how about we get this over with. you try and defeat me and then i win, you die and the whole of reality ends.

( Bel Shammaroth attacks, unleashing waves of dark energy against the compainons. Sa'vor quickly throws up a shield. the force of Bel Shammaroths attack was unstopable, even while shielded Satnak, Sa'vor and Slip where knocked sprawled on the floor. Bel Shammaroth laughed evily, striking out with his fist and knocking slip into the wall, Sa'vors eyes burned with hatred as he unleashed a wave of eldritch energy at the creature. it laughed as it shook the affects off.)

Bel Shammaorth: You really expect your petty spells to affect me?

( Sa'vor Struck out with everything he had, centuries of hate and anguish unleashed in waves of power, they crashed down on Bel Shammaroth inflicting heavy damage. by the end Sa'vor was completly drained, Satnak and slip meanwhile had circled around Bel Shammaroth. Slip dove forwards and drove her mind blade into the creatures shoulder. it screamed and lashed out, she dove away as the blast disintergrated a portion of the roof. Satnak bellowed a warcry and waded into combat, striking blow after blow on the C'tan, Bel Shammaroths power begins to lessen as Satnaks attacks take their toll. He knows he cannot win against such insane warriors, but perhaps he could take them with him. Bel Sammaroth reaches iside him, the energy within that blazes like a thousand suns pulsed as his necrodermis disintergrated and exploded outwards in a wall of force. Satnak was crushed against the wall, she felt her life essence begin to fade as the death throes of Bel Shammaroth took their toll. her mid decended into darkness.)

***
( Satnak felt a deep throbbing pain within her, she was alive, barely. she risked opening her eyes. above her was the same mottled and patched wood of the forgotten freedom, she pulled herself into a sitting position. pain lanced through her body like a thousand red hot knives.)
Slip: your awake at last then
( Slip sat between Satnaks bed and anothers, her face was bruised and covered in many tiny cuts, two crutches lay beside the chair)
Satnak: how long was i out?

Slip: about a week

Satnak: A WEEK! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DAMAGE THE ALT-JARLOTS COULD OF DONE BY THEN!

Slip: its okay, kantash has managed to keep them in check for the while, though i suggest you try not to move so much, you've fractured quite a few bones. and theres some internal damage.

Satnak: what happened? all i renember is a huge blue flash and then only pain and darkness.

Slip: Bel Shammaroth exploded in an attempt to kill us off, hes gone now. banished, they explosion would of killed us, but Sa'vor used a lot of his life force to teleport us out of there.

Satnak: you seem fine compared to me

Slip: well... Sa'vor threw himself in front of me in attempt to shield me form as much of the blast as possible. once he knew that we wouldnt survive, being out of magical energy he used a lot of his life force to teleport us to the forgotten freedom.

Satnak: how is he?

Slip: ( her face becomes grim) he's bad, he wakes up occasionaly. but then all he does is stare at the ceiling or rant and rave in many different languages.

Satnak: so he's having brain troubles ?

Slip: no... we had kantash check by hacking into his mind, its a shifting sea of emotions and memories. it seems that some of the split personalities are trying to take control, its a huge civil war. Sa'vors main conciousness, the one we know is worse for wear and hard pressed. Kantash thinks that soon it may be able to take control once more. but thats onlt a guess.

( in the back ground a string of mabran emits from Sa'vors mouth, followed by some qour and then a sentance or two in daan)

Satnak: what did he say?

Slip: i dont know, its difficult to translate but somthing like:
" in darkest darkness/ walks a mind ill/ with nothing to restrain it/ but a dead mans will. then in Qour he spoke The Dreamer cant awake/ Night mare holds sway/ Light becomes Darkness/ Night becomes day.
in Dann he spoke Fire, Earth, Air, water/ four elements shalt be your guide/ First symbol may be found in the dreamers eyes."
urial angel of death

05-15-06, 01:12 PM		Volrath: Oh man, I didn't get to sick our god on the enemy god.
Kanatash: You never told anyone you were going to.
Volrath: Why else would we summon the head great old one?
Kanatash: A very fancy chess piece, secret ingredient in the chili, boredom, rite of passage, keep the redshirts in line, because we can.
Volrath: Yeah, but still.
Kanatash: This was Sa'vor's fight. He had to end it.
Volrath: I guess you're right.
Crystalforged

05-15-06, 01:31 PM		In a deep, deep dark dimensional pocket an unconscious Bel Shammaroth stands bound in place as Kanatash circles around him.

Bel Shammaroth: (slowly awakening) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME MORTAL.

Kanatash: Mortal? Hardly. I had specially prepared this pocket dimension to contain someone of such godlike powers as yours just for this sort of oppertunity and when you decieded to go nova, rather than banishing to the outer reaches normally I simply redirected your passage to this location.

Bel Shammaroth: VERY CLEVER MORTAL, BUT NO BONDS CAN HOLD ME. I SHALL BREAK FREE AND CONSUME YOUR VERY SOUL. I CAN FEEL YOUR BINDINGS WEAKEN AS WE SPEAK.

Kanatash: Once again, I'm not mortal. You are right about the bindings however, they won't last forever. Unfortunately for you I will have thouroughly broken your mind long before they collapse.

Bel Shammaroth: FOOL, HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE YOU COULD POSSIBLY BREAK THE MIND OF A GOD.

Kanatash: (evil smile) Oh, you'll see.

He concentrates for a moment and both their forms go limp suddenly. Suddenly Kanatash becomes all too solid while Bel Shammaroth becomes incorperal.

Kanatash: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, MORTAL!

Bel Shammaroth: I have switched our minds, the effect is rather temporary and will last a little over an hour but that is long enough. (smile)

Bel Shammaroth/Kanatash reaches over and hooks his finger in thin air, ripping open a small dimensional hole.

Bel Shammaroth: Now I am going to as they say, kill two birds with one stone, I shall be back in an hour to see what is left of your mind.

Suddenly hundreds of Crystals pour out through the hole into the dimensional pocket while Bel Shammaroth/Kanatash flies away.

Bel Shammaroth: I love these sorts of win/win situations since it means I get to win twice.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-15-06, 03:02 PM		OOC: To Charles Phipps:

Martha Greyholm: Well, that was nice young man, but like the work of the great Silvercat Moonpaw, oh there was a muscial director who really knew his stuff, wrote all the lines himself, it's hard trying to make things ryme and getting the cadence in order, not just borrowing from poor old Gilbert and Sullivan…

And 100 points to whomever get the very next reference. :D

IC: A postal delivery technician enters the bar, looking seriously worn but walking with pride at this job. He approaches Erk at the bar.

Postal Guy: Mr. Erk?

Erk: *growl?*

Postal Guy: Through rain, snow, lightening, hail, we at house Orien shall deliver the mail. Do not ask us about: crazy magic girls, ninjas, large mechanical suits, small creatures that only say their names over and over, or the goddess Animé.

Erk: *growl, but you can vaguely make out that he said "Animé?"*

Postal Guy: Don't ask. Please. *shudder*

The postal guy hands Erk a large book-shaped package. Then salutes and turns to go. Unfortunaely he is greeted by Sakura and dies of a heart attack.

Erk grunts Lucky over the the bar, then takes his package into the back room. He has a vague idea of what's inside it. He places it on a counter and slowly unwrapps it. Inside is rather plain book. Yet when he opens it the pages glow, and a voice comes out.

Book: Mr. Erk, it's been a long time, hasn't it? And yet again the world is in grave peril. We need your help. Your mission, should you—

Erk closes the book with a snap. He he picks it up, intending to stuff it in a sturdy chest.

The book opens of its own accord, forcing Erk's fingers apart.

Book: *sigh* Mr. Erk, we know all about your reluctance to take on these missions, so this message will not self-destruct. In fact, we've made it impervious to all known forms of destruction, which includes your remarkabley novil tactic of imersing it in unusually corrosive chilli.

Erk gives up and sits down to listen to the message.

Book: Let's just cut out all the pleasentries, shall we. Your mission is to…
rampant

05-15-06, 03:11 PM		Satnak - Remember, I find one mess on the carpet there won't even be an astral husk and a hennefer left. I really hate the self-destructers. Remind me I owe you guys some explaining about the arm and armor.*conks out*

Lisa - Is she getting more or less nutty?

Terra - I don't know and either way I'm scared.
urial angel of death

05-15-06, 05:02 PM		Terra walks on board to see Volrath, participating in one of his favorite past times, living chess. This time his opponent is Nalfien.
Volrath: Knight takes pawn E4.
Volrath's tongue elongates and spears Nalfien's pawn, through the stomach. The tongue then returns, dragging the poor redshirt along with it. Volrath proceeds to eat the fellow. Finally managing to swallow him after a few gulps. Volrath's knight moves into position without any pushing.
Nalfien: Rook takes rook D2.
Nalfien throws a fireball that incinerates Volrath's piece.
Volrath: Boring!
Nalfien: Oh shut u-
Terra: If I might interrupt. Why are you two playing out here and not in one of the rooms?
Nalfien: We're betting. None of the bookies would go into either of our rooms.
Terra: What per chance are you betting?
Volrath: She her?
Volrath points toward an arabic looking girl, with large hips and large... tracks of land.
Terra: Volrath that's horrible. She wouldn't survive even one night, in your chambers. Besides I thought you still...
Volrath: No, only Nalfien wants her for that. I'm trying to impress Caralot by breeding new strays of aberration, without using magic. She would be perfect for giving birth.
Nalfien: Could you get on with it.
Volrath: Knight jumps the queen... Not like that you sick redshirt!
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-15-06, 07:55 PM		Volrath: No, only Nalfien wants her for that. I'm trying to impress Caralot by breeding new strays of aberration, without using magic. She would be perfect for giving birth.
Caralot: Are you sure that would work? Because I remember that time with the beholder and the horse—
5663: Caralot is not allowed to even describe her attempts at non-magical breeding.
Volrath: Knight jumps the queen... Not like that you sick redshirt!
Spectator Redshirt: Hey, Count de Money, Count de Money!

Booky: It's "du Monet", "DU MONET!

Redshirt: Whatever. I won, so pay up.

Mel Brooks redshirt: Hey, I'm the king here! I should get to jump the queen!
Kaizer_Ryu

05-15-06, 09:36 PM		OOC: a black neogi :blink: that's hard to picture, but cool once you do :D

So I forgot they didn't come in black, so sue me. Maybe Squishy ran into Chalky's paint before being assaulted. :P

And I thought I read about Earl casting Cone of Cold before. Maybe not. I blame both on it being three in the morning at the time. :D

Edit: Damn it! It was Hand of Frost not Cone of Cold! Stupid! Stupid! :banghead:
Charles Phipps

05-15-06, 09:59 PM		Ishmael Junior's Journal
Day 4

I am increasingly of the mind that the world's events seem to revolve around this ship.

Today for example the crew decided to randomly kidnap Princess Sarah of Breland, the heir apparent to the Throne. My surprise is that this wasn't apparently for any form of ransom but was largely so the Captain could grandstand in an address via Message spell to Brelish Parliament. I think at some point he requested that they turn over the kingdom to him but that proved to be rather pointless.

She proved to be quite irritating and eventually the crew simply returned her for the fact that she had potentially the ability to overthrow the Captain given she spent most of her time trying to show how they could be better pirates.

Then the Captain explained that he'd kidnapped her as part of an elaborate plot to thrwart the whims of an organization called the Patriots and he was going to use the (nonexistent) ransom money to set up a country where warriors could live freely as they were meant to. That was when he started talking about how Ketler was constructing a 'Metal Gear' and that only a Snake of some kind could stop him. I was informed that the Captain routinely goes crazy as part of his massive intake of booze plus the stresses of his position. It's apparently also a method of protecting him from the Demon whom I frankly don't understand why they just don't kill. While some are afraid of him, he's clearly not as powerful as he thinks he is....mostly because I and everyone else onboard is still sane and he doesn't seem the type to hold back like he thinks. Sniper Wolf is rather cute though.

I was assigned the duty of crewman Satnak this morning whom privately informed me that my main purpose was not to give her a reason to blink me out of existence with her mind. She then spent approximately three hours talking about how she resented the fact that the rest of the crew seemed utterly indifferent to her having stopped the majority of near omnipotent evils they'd faced and how godlike entities such as 'Q' and 'Loki' got much more respect on other worlds. She also asked if I'd seen alternates of the crew.

I snuck Michae....err V....some more food as he related his tragic history that he'd been deformed in the fight against 'Shadow' and he didn't want Lisa to see him in his current condition. He'd also lost his 'anti-paladin' powers (whatever those were) because of his selflessness and didn't know what to do with his life.

Tifa meanwhile spent most of the night telling me about her time with Captain Jarlot and strangely the stories seem to be always amounting to them being 'just off camera' during the most important events of history and several popular fantasy RPGs.
Rei32491

05-15-06, 10:10 PM		After Nalfein and Volrath finsh their "game", Nalfein remembers something.

Nalfein: I forgot to give you the Book of the Stilled Tongue, but before I give it too you, I need to read it.

Volrath: Fine, but read it in the library because it takes a minium of six days to read.

Nalfein: :blink:

Nalfein and Volrath start towards the library. Aerith, walking by, sees the BotST.

Aerith: Now now, that book isn't child appropriate. Give it here.

Volrath: RUN!!!

Nalfein and Volrath shoot past running flat out the the library.

Volrath: (takes out a green fizzing liquid) Use this to read faster. Ketler gave it to me, said it had something to do with mountains.

Nalfein chugs the liquid, his eyes become blurs as he reads the BotST. They reach the library, Aerith close behind.

Nalfein: (very fast) Done!

Volrath: Good, wait...what? :confused:

Nalfein: That stuff's wonderful!!

Volrath: Hmm, gonna need more of that...

They hear Aerith only a couple feet away with her hands on her hips.

Aerith: Come now, give me the book.

Volrath: Quick, give it to me!

Nalfein tosses the book to Volrath and he runs into the library. When Aerith gets there, Volrath sprints past her, slams the door shut, and hits a switch on the wall. There is a noise like space being sucked into a void.

Nalfein: What did you do?

Volrath: Actived a pocket dimention. Wait...I basically destroyed the space in there. So that must mean... YES! AERITH IS FINALLY DEAD!!!

Volrath starts to dance when an unscathed Aerith walks out.

Volrath and Nalfein: :eek:

Aerith: Well that's a depressing room :( .
Kaizer_Ryu

05-15-06, 11:36 PM		OOC: Ok, let's see if I can avoid any GLARING ERRORS in this one...

IC:

Now that the battle had been won and things had largely returned to normal (whatever that is on this ship), Terra returns to her room. She pulls out the evil-looking book and continues translating. Apparently, the owner (she assumes Theronas) was extremely paranoid about someone getting a hold of it, as it is heavily encrypted. Fortunately, the other book she found (which turned out to be her father's diary) contained clues to break the code. After several hours she had succeeded, but transcribing it was still a painstaking process.

Volrath: (teleports in) Guys do not keep diaries. We keep journals.

Terra: Don't correct the Entity from Beyond Non-Existence, Volrath.

Volrath: He turned Uncle Squishy black for a few hours!

Terra: Oh, come on. A puff of logic took care of that.

Volrath: He made Earl a Sorcerer, too!

Terra: Again, puff of logic. Being up for 18 hours and trying to write in old-timey Common can confuse even the narrator.

Volrath: Still...

Edit: GLARING ERROR found by rampant (see below). I mean't Sorcerer but typed Kineticist. *sigh*
rampant

05-16-06, 12:45 AM		Earl - Dammit i am supposed to be a kineticist the voice turned me into a sorcerer.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-16-06, 02:08 AM		Somewhere in the space beyond non-existance a dark cloud hangs over the entity known as Kaizer_Ryu...

Kaizer_Ryu: NOOOO!!!! Get away from me!

Noobish mistakes: You can't escape me. Your precious DM isn't here to help you, and you have no books with you...

Kaizer_Ryu: I don't need them! Take this: SRD!!!!

Noobish mistakes: ARGH! You may have won this time, but I shall return...

OOC: Ok, now that that guy is (hopefully) gone, I'll continue.

IC:

Lisa: You know, Terra, you just helped save the world from a great evil. Twice.

Terra: Uh-oh. I know where this is going...

*poof* Terra becomes Lawful Good.

Terra: Oh, hell.

Satnak: But she also tried to kill us. Well...you, anyway.

*poof* She then becomes Chaotic Evil

Terra: Son of a...

Lisa: It's not her fault! She was being manipulated! She broke free before she hurt me!

*poof* She is now Neutral Good

Terra: Ok, this is getting weird...

Satnak: True. She also defeated a demon, but kept its power for herself...

*poof* True Neutral

Terra: Oh, for the love of...

Lisa: And before that, she tortured her father in a fully deserved manner...

*poof* Neutral Evil

Terra: (holding up her hands) OK! Stop right here. This is good.
rampant

05-16-06, 02:20 AM		Satnak - Ok now she's just confused.

Terra becomes CN

Terra - Stop it

Lisa - what does that have to do with alignment?

Satnak - Nothing, I just like watching the squirrel hold up the note cards, whenever she shifts...
Oh crap kithle comes back tomorrow! :eek:

Lisa - GRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN

Terra - Great now I have to replace all the ingrediants I've been filching from his private stash.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-16-06, 02:23 AM		Lisa - what does that have to do with alignment?

Satnak - Nothing, I just like watching the squirrel hold up the note cards, whenever she shifts...

:heehee The mental image alone is priceless.
rampant

05-16-06, 03:33 AM		Kithle - I'm back and you forgot to fix the giant gaping hole in the sky from your little trip to the shadow realm. Also terra next time you get invited to a family reunion break your leg or something, and tell them you can't make it. You Ish something out of my room. Chalky do I want to know why my red dragon scales are missing, (loud booming noise and a gyser of red paint coats the deck) ...nvm. Terra I want those silverfish eggs replaced by the end of the week. Who let children on board? What happened to micheal I'm detecting activity in the normally empty space between his ears. Caralot put the tweezers and sample baggie down. Satnak Spill, what happened to my arm?

Kanatash - I think the vacation worked.

Sa'vor - Yes he looks refreshed, and he's back on top.

Jarlot - Let the screaming begin, I need ale and my Flamingo.

Ketler - What about the squirrels?

Kithle - (Holding a lemonade with a tiny umbrella, a staw with a brain case like top, and a peeled acorn floating in it) What about the Squirrels?
urial angel of death

05-16-06, 07:06 AM		OOC: Crystalforged, it's creepy I had been thinking about the living chess game, and had written up the Nalfien Volrath game just alittle while before you wrote the Volrath Kanatash game. In the words of Elan, "Are you psychic?"

On a completely unrelated note there need to be a party for the cristening of the FF2. Too bad I'm no good at writing parties scenes, but I do have the morning after scene written.

IC:
Noobish Mistakes: Some day Kaizer_Ryu some day you will try to do something too complex, something not of SRD. Then you're mine.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-16-06, 08:06 AM		OOC: In honor of 8-bit theater…

IC: Fighter, Thief, Red Mage, Black Mage, and White Mage enter the bar.

Black Mage (to White Mage): Hey, baby, why don't you let me buy you a drink so I can get you drunk and into the sack?

White Mage: *gets out her big hammer* AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!

Just then Satnak appears chasing an Alt-Jarlot, Jarlotgorn.

Satnak: This time you've gone too far! It's one thing to be a pop-culture reference, but I absolutely forbit the use of cherished literary icons! DIE!!

Satnak rips apart Jarlotgorn using a borrowed abberration, seventeen paperclips, and a small time machine.

Black Mage: :inlove:

White Mage: Um…*tapping black mage with her hammer* aren't you supposed to be hitting on me in a completely idiotic and disgusting manner?

Black Mage (dreamily): In a minute…

Black Mage goes up to Satnak.

Black Mage: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

I think your imagination can come up with the result. :evillaugh:

Lucky: Satnak! What have we told you about killing customers?

Thief: It's okay. I've already tricked him into signing over his soul to me.

Fighter: When Death comes I'll just cut him up with my sword-chucks.

Red Mage: My superior intellect predicts his return in 3…2…1…

Super-Evil Black Mage from :devil:: Man, it feels good to be all-powerful again.

Satnak: *predictable attack on an obviously über-powerful evil*

White Mage: :eek:

Lisa: Excuse me, Ms. White Mage, but I couldn't help noticing that you make use of a hammer to discipline your comrades. Perhaps you'd like to discuss technique with a sister jerk-smasher…

OOC: Since no one seems to be nominating any more names for the bar, I'll collect them into one post and we can start voting.
urial angel of death

05-16-06, 08:48 AM		the cow level
there is no cow level
secret dungeon
gates to hell
no shirt no shoes no problem
8-bit theatre (or course the gang would have to sign on to the forgotten Freedom)
no ubers
the smorg
bunny's place
rainbow
blood, sweat, and ale
a free redshirt with every purchase
Crystalforged

05-16-06, 08:52 AM		OOC: Crystalforged, it's creepy I had been thinking about the living chess game, and had written up the Nalfien Volrath game just alittle while before you wrote the Volrath Kanatash game. In the words of Elan, "Are you psychic?"
OOC: Wow, I must be a FUTURE psychic and never known it. More likely however I'm either psychic or psychotic. I'll let you guys make up your own minds. :D

Now for the main event, I’ve been planning this post for a long time now but I haven’t had the time to put it together until now. Anyway before I begin I just want to apologize. First I want to apologize to everyone who is about to read this when the idea for this first came into my head it was horrifying even to me. Even more I want to apologize SilvercatMoonpaw as the originator of Carlot because no character should go through what she is about to experience. Despite all this I still felt the need to create this post because things like this cannot just be allowed to left within ones own mind even if they should be. In a final note those who are low level, in an advance age category, or in possession of poor Fort or Will saves may wish to look away.


IC: Kanatash and Sa'vor are snooping around in Carlot's room.

Sa'vor: Mind telling me again what we're doing in here? This place creeps me out even more than your room.

Kanatash: I would like you to know that I take that as a personal insult, but since you asked we are looking for the dirt that Silver and Crow told us about with Aerith and the "sessions" she has here.

Sa'vor: Are you seriously still trying to get Jarlot for the whole Crystal incident? You need to move on.

Kanatash: Nah, I figure that if any more revenge is needed at this point the alternate Jarlots now infesting the ship should serve more that adequately. The reason I'm looking for dirt is that I KNOW that at some point in the future Jarlot is going to screw me over again, experience has taught me that, and I want to have something prepared for when he does.

Carlot: (stepping from the shadows) Looking for this are we? (holds up a folder) I might be willing to part with it, for a price.

Sa'vor: And what, exactly, do you want from us?

Carlot: :smirk: Make me an offer.

Kanatash: I am sure any threats against you person would be wasting breath, and I doubt simple monetary gain is what you're interested in so I assume you have some special task or bit of information you want. Care to give us a hint?

Suddenly a Crystal pops out from behind a curtain. She begins bouncing up and down excitedly at the sight of Kanatash but she is oddly silent.

Kanatash: Ack, not another one! Wait a moment, silence? She should screaming in that annoying voice by now.

Carlot whistles and the Crystal comes to her side submissively.

Carlot: Ah, I would like you to meet my own personal Crystal. Isn't she cute? I've made some enhancements to her you see...

Kanatash: Of course! I presume you removed her voice box to keep her from talking.

Carlot: Yes, she can still communicate telepathically but that is taxing for her and easily blocked by others. I may like cute but I also appreciate my peace and quiet when I’m working.

Kanatash: Brilliant. How did you get around the problem of her collecting thralls?

Carlot: That was a bit of an issue. If you look here at these notes. (pulls out another folder) As you can see here...

An animated discussion springs up between Kanatash and Carlot about various methods of genetic manipulation and mental blocks. Carlot then proceeds to show and in some cases demonstrate the many other "enhancements". During this conversation Sa'vor begins to grow increasingly uncomfortable.

Sa'vor: (during one of Carlot's demonstrations of her "enhancements") Urp, I think I'm going to be sick. (bends over and clutches his stomach)

Carlot: Just a moment. (hands him a small bucket) I would like a sample if you please.

Kanatash: What are you looking for? I've done a few experiments myself and I must admit the results were somewhat disappointing...

They resume their conversation while Sa'vor proceeds to supplicate himself at the porcelain throne. Despite the complaints of said throne.

---

Later Sa'vor, Kanatash, and Carlot step out of Carlot's room (with Sa'vor looking paler than usual).

Carlot: (continuing an ongoing conversation) One thing I have been meaning to ask you about is how do you handle your supply of test subjects? You’ve been on this ship longer than I have and the goody-goody crewmembers keep getting mad if I take too many redshirts.

Kanatash: I have experienced the same problems. I try to rely on multiple outside sources. For example my cults across Eberron give me regular sacrifices, Michael provides me with a steady supply in exchange for certain “pictures” I acquire for him, and of course I take a sampling from the redshirt population. For an added bonus I try to collect a few prisoners from whatever foes we face.

Carlot: Good planning, multiple sources in case one happens to fail you.

Kanatash: Why thank you, but I must compliment you in return, your work is truly brilliant. Those experiments were both horribly cruel and mentally damaging in addition to being wildly successful. Truly you are a woman after my own heart. (with a sly smile) I was wondering perhaps if you would like to retire to my chambers to compare our respective “enhancements.”

Carlot: (bemused) I will not deny the offer is tempting but unfortunately you’re just not my type.

Kanatash: It’s the cute thing, isn’t it?

Carlot: Mhmm, yeah.

Kanatash: That’s not as much of an issue as you might expect. A side benefits of my Psion Uncarnate levels is the assume form class feature. For example it lets me do this. (suddenly changes into an anime version of himself) In addition I can change my form to look like anything I can imagine.

Carlot: (intrigued) Anything you can imagine you say? (returning Kanatash’s sly look) I think this merits further investigation, wouldn’t you?

Kanatash: Of course, my dear.

Sa’vor: If I may I would like to have a word with Kanatash first. (pulling him aside) As a friend I just want to say, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! You know all the rumors about her “enhancements.”

Kanatash: (giving him big, anime eyes) And?

Sa’vor: Its not normal!

Kanatash: (still giving him the eyes) And?

Sa’vor: SHE’S A FREAK OF NATURE!!!

Kanatash: (intense anime eyes) AND!

Sa’vor: (pausing for a moment) Oh... I suppose I forgot who I was talking to for a second there.

Kanatash: (still giving him anime eyes) No hard feelings.

Sa’vor: You know the thing with the eyes is really creapy right?

Kanatash: Yes, yes I do. Now it’s time for me to go.

Kanatash floats over to Carlot’s side and they take off below decks. A collective shiver runs down the spines of every crewmember present.

---

The next day Kanatash is seen exiting from Carlot’s room.

Kanatash: See you honey buns!

Carlot: (chuckling) Don’t tire yourself out before tonight dear!

Micky walks out of his hospital just in time to witness this event. He glances down at the cureslaugger he had been drinking for a moment before tossing it over his shoulder and walking back into his room muttering something about having to “scrub the whole batch.”

---

Still later Jarlot approaches Kanatash on the deck.

Jarlot: I’ve heard the rumors about you and Carlot.

Kanatash: If you’re wondering if they’re true, I’m sure everything you have heard is and then some. (evil smile)

Jarlot: But what about the incorporeality, doesn’t it-

Kanatash: There are ways around it and there are certain “advantages” from it as well. (chuckling)

Jarlot: Uh, the enhancements?

Kanatash: (smiling broadly) What can I say? I’m from Xoriat, abnormal is normal for me.

Jarlot: (frowning) Are you just doing this to creep out the rest of the crew?

Kanatash: No, I’m doing this because of some advice you gave me once.

Jarlot: ME?!

Kanatash: Yes, you gave me that speech a while back about how you pitied people like me and Sa’vor because we were so focused on our dreams of destruction we could never truly enjoy life. I still do not know whether I agree with you or not but since I have a few million years to kill I decieded to find out.

Jarlot: So does that mean you don’t really have feellings for Carlot?

Kanatash: Oh, I have feelings for her. We share so much in our mindset and practices that it seems something destined to be. There is something innate to her being which attracts me to her, something I cannot describe.

Jarlot: Similar mindset? Last I check you were into Cthulhian horrors while she was a cute magnet.

Kanatash: Don’t act like those are irreconcilable extremes. After all what is more psychologically damaging, a mind crushing creature so terrible that the mortal mind cannot comprehend it or a mind crushing creature so terrible that the mortal mind cannot comprehend it that is at the same time somehow irresistibly cute?

Jarlot: Ugh…

Kanatash: Now there is one thing I would like you to see. (hands him a photograph)

Jarlot: :whatsthis (takes the picture), :bored: (sees Carlot and Kanatash in the photo), :gah: (realizes what they are DOING in the picture), :shocked: (realizes Aerith is in the picture too), :ghosted: (realizes what Aerith is DOING in the picture).

Kanatash: I really must go now, sweetums is waiting, but before I go I just want to leave you with this. You said that any idiot can destroy something and you are completely right in that. However to do it so completely, so thoroughly, so masterfully, THAT takes an artist
Kaizer_Ryu

05-16-06, 10:20 AM		OOC: Crystalforged, that was just wrong. I mean, I haven't read anything that wrong since Endless Helix's Jaela pic. Thank gods I rolled a natural 20 on my will save... Not so well on the fort...

IC:

Terra works in her lab as Lisa walks in. Terra is pulling ingredients from the shelves with her new vine-tentacles, and Lisa just has to ask.

Lisa: I've been wondering where you got those...

Terra: Oh, these? I had Caralot make a few modifications after I was attacked. One was the regeneration, the other was this.

Lisa: I can understand the regeneration, but why this?

Terra: Two extra sets of hands around the lab, they're invaluable in melee combat, etc.

Lisa: (watches her for a bit, then) Aren't you creeped out?

Terra: Oh, I was at first. But I accepted it when I found another use...

Lisa: ...should I ask?

Terra: Let's just say tonight should be interesting and leave it at that... :schemes:

Lisa: :mymy: :blush:

OOC: MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Phantomcrossing

05-16-06, 10:43 AM		Andrea is in her lab preparing a poor redshirt who didn't last to be reawakened as a masterfully created undead.. Marish is nearby overseeing the proper emptying of her sandbox by Redshirt # 13, Ismeal Jr.

Andrea: And you say he was there during the coma the entire time.

Marish: Yeah, the big softy was worried sick. I don't wanna think what rolled through his mind when he found us dead.

Andrea: (thinking of the last things Shadow Jarlot said to her before slicing her in half) Perhaps...perhaps completely destroyed. Maybe (thinks about the times watching Jarlot trying to via for Aerith's attention) maybe (thinking about the recent arrival of Jarlots daughter) ...oh to hell with it. I need to talk to the Captain.

Andrea drops her tools and leaves in a huff with the body lying on the table, unfinished.

Marish: Huh...that was weird.

Ismael Jr.: Perhaps your lady is overtaken by troubli-

Marish: (glaring at the redshirt) Less talking, more scooping.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-16-06, 11:17 AM		OOC: Oh gods, I've created a monster!
:rimshot: :devil:

IC:
Silver: Should we have told Kantash what's really in those notes?

Crow: :angelhide
***
Kantash finally finds the time to sit down with Caralot's files.

Journal Concerning the Mixing of Outsiders
Today I was most fortunate to meet a natural hybrid of both nymph and succubus. Her name is Saberiel, and she is quite attractive.…

Kantash flips ahead, wanting to make sure he knows where the good parts are in case he has to use them soon.

…She immediately took a liking to Aerith. I think there was a mild unspoken affection—or "crush"—that Saberiel had on the mortal/deva. I don't want to press things for fear of ruining…[i]

*flip, flip, flip*

[i]…after the first time I decided it would be best to bring in :coolcthul , and would have included John the keel…

*flip back*

…from the discussions between Aerith, Saberiel, and myself, we decided to form a support group for those with unusal lifestyles and material/spiritual anatomies…

Kantash becomes enraged, throwing the file across the room. He wants to get back at those two extra-existance entities who apparently played him for a fool, but he is smart enough to know that he cannot reach that far, nor would it do any good to try and drive insane entities who's very existance was insanity.

For the first time he decides to visit the bar.

It is unfortunate that he did not keep reading:

…Aerith informs me that the child will probably be born in a few months, though the mixing of outsiders is a tricky affair…
***
Crow: I couldn't have him getting that far before the birth.

Silver: And we did get him a Caralot together.

Crow: I challenge anyone to think of a more fun job than manipulating the lives of existensials.

OOC: As to the whole Caralot/Kantash romance: GO FOR IT! Just remember that Caralot doesn't like just any cute, she likes freaky abnormal cute.
urial angel of death

05-16-06, 11:34 AM		Volrath sits in the corner crying. Oh of the last of his dreams shattered.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-16-06, 01:00 PM		OOC: thank Kyber for high will saves ( directed to what crystal forge has spawned from the dark recesses of his mind) ... that and my mind shutting down before anything damageing happened.and if it can make Sa'vor sick,then it would be horrifying indeed

IC: ( Sa'vor works in his lab, currently he's mixing alchemy, magic and Crystalurgy. around him various tools float into his hands or work on their own. Sa'vor sculpts a beautiful shimmering Diamond with the power of his mind. Kithle Appears behind him trhough a tear in reality)
Sa'vor: greetings Kithle

Kithel: i heard you got three hundred years on holiday, must of been bliss.

Sa'vor: Hardly, every moment was constant agony of Slips torture and imprisonment with the C'tan. i spent all three hundred years forging magical items and practising my crafts.

Kithle: you know, all the ubers seem to be doing lately is forgeing relationships. everywhere i look theres someone afraid that someone else doesnt like him and so on.

Sa'vor: ( still not looking up) if your refering to me and slip. then i can tell you nothings happened yet. last time i talked to her, when i woke up. she muttered somthing and blushed. then left the room.

Kithle: Sa'vor your over five hundred years old, and shes not exactly new to the whole relationship thing. and your both acting like angsty teens. now Kantash and Caralot...

Sa'vor: ( doesnt look up) by the way if they ever ask if you whant to see their photo collection. teleport far away. FAR AWAY

Kithle: what?

Sa'vor: seriously, Jarlot had to be resserected twice after seeing that photo once, it makes the Jeala photo seem like a picture of a butterfly.

Kithle: dear lord it must be terrible, Did you see it?

Sa'vor: I wouldnt be standing here talking to you i had.

Kithle: i'll keep that in mind

Sa'vor: any particular reason for you being here my lord? ( flash of Psionic energy as the Diamonds complete. Sa'vor walks over to an anvil on which rests a dagger, its ebony blade glowes with a slightly magical aura, various runes in many languages are inscribed in it and theres a space in the pommel. Sa'vor sets the Diamond in it and murmmers a few words in the eldritch language of magic, the Diamond is bound to the pommel)
Kithle: who are you creating this for?

Sa'vor: ( looks up for the first time) do you really have to ask?

Kithle: you know, most men would give women flowers.

Sa'vor: im not like most men.
Chrys

05-16-06, 03:12 PM		Bob, the Figment of the Daemon that is bound to Tifa gauntlets stalks the lower deck generally ****** off at the whole of creation.

BOB: Stupid Shadow demons trying to muscle in on my territory! Stupid Deva not letting me out! STUPID EVIL JARLOT TRYING TO KILL ME! Oh, crap, I have to take control of her soon I am starting to think like her…even though the evil Jarlot has some appeal and I do like the whole one wing thing… NO I must never think like that again!

A red shirt writing in a book walks by Bob tries to disembowel him… but his claws pass right through.

BOB: Damn I really need to remember that I am just an illusion only Tifa can see…

P/Y/R: Hello… what do you mean only mommy can see you … We can see you just Fine... Doggie man…

BOB: Wha… Mommy… I do not every remember doing a… Oh, right the Nymph.

P/Y/R: Hey, doggie man…what is wrong…you want me to kill that red shirt for you...

BOB: No, no that is all right; tell me your fey do you now how to get rid of the Nymph’s kiss exalted effects of one soul?

P/Y/R: OH yeah that’s easy… you see fey… can’t breed… normally with other fey…mainly because they are mostly all female…and who wants to sleep with a goat… so they sleep with mortals … like mommy… so when a fey sleeps with a mortal… she take a bit of the mortals soul in to here body… and use her own fey powers to turn that soul stuff in to new fey… and because these fey have bit of the mortals soul… the mortal get the some of the fey powers… So as long as we are around … mommies exalted… because we are mostly good… If we were Unseelie or evil then it would be she would be vile.

BOB: Really, so how would you kids like to have some fun and then you can spend some more time with mommy.

* * *
BOB: Ok does every one understand the plan.

Paine: I go round up some red shirt to sacrifice to mommy…

Rikku: I go see if any of the wizards on this ship has that spell…

Yuna: And I go and see if I can get Jarlot to sign this bit of paper…

BOB: Excellent.

* * *
Paine: That’s Right step right up, me, the other pixies want to play a game, and we need you help any red **** that plays with up will be upgrade to scum!

RED SHRITS: BooYA!

Paine to here self: If you survive

* * *

Yuna: Um hello Mister Captain Jarlot could you sign this please.

Jarlot: What is?

Yuna: Um…If you sign it Mommy will leave you alone and play with us instead… and some thing about turning the insane parts of the ship in to a Casino. ..

Jarlot: You had me at ‘Tifa will leave me alone’

* * *

Rikku: Hey Volrath… Do you happen to have a spell called Fiend bind or some thing like that? Other wise I have to go ask one of the other spell casters.

Volrath: Yes…why do you need it?

Rikku: We, my sisters and Bob are trying to get are mommy to spend of time with us instead of chasing around the silly captain…

Volrath: … So your doing this to be closer to you mother…

* * *

Later in the darkest part of the ship where the membrane that separates the planes from the Material world, about half the red shirts are standing on a large bulls eye.

P/Y/R: Hello … and Well come… to my Glorious ascension to Demon hood!

Red shirt number 187: Wait what us becoming scum!

Bob: Rikku Read the scroll, Yuna stop any red shirts from leaving this part of the ship; Paine you may kill them now.

P/Y/R: Sweet!... If you say so… Scroll reading powers activate.

* * * A few seconds later
Igor: Ith looths like I’ll haveth to clean this up… I wonderth who did ith …

P/Y/R: WE DID…

When Igor turns around he see a stunning fey woman, whose hair shift from Red to brown and lastly to ash grey…

Igor: Ah well, nice Bloodth spthater.

P/Y/R: Thank you, it quite weird only having one body, but at lest we grew up. Tell me do you know where Mommy is…

Igor: I think she is playing poker with the other Female crew. [the had the lisp scared out of him]


THE NEW P/Y/R [from now on her name is P/Y/R]

P/Y/R the Unseelie
CE Female Half Demon Sidhe Beguiler 15

* I have no clue what the start for Sidhe would be
* She still thinks she is all three of her sisters, When her hair is Ash grey Paine is the most in control, Brown Yuna, Red Rikku.
*She is still obsessed with pleasing her mommy and will do any thing to get approval
*She has had her fill of killing for a bit and now seek to make people worship her mommy. [hence the Beguiler lvls]
*She still has a Large pair of Pixie wings and now appears to be about 20.

[ooc: I would apearsheate if no one did that poker game before me, I still have to have Tifa and Bob merge...]
rampant

05-16-06, 03:45 PM		Kithle - Its back to work for me. (whistling non-chalantly) Sa'vor hide the captain, if they come looking for him dress up an Alt=j, Death paper find kanatash and caralot and get them rdy (thank goodness for constructs who can't be driven insane). Satnak You grab sakura and hide until i say so. I knew having children on board was a bad idea.

Kithle's new stats

Human Paragon 3 / Marshall 7/ Ithillid savant 20+

KIthle has abosorbed so many skils and talents over the years he no longer needs to "fake them" HE spent his vacation retraining himself for leadership, and tracking down some pretty awesome brains.

----------

Caralot - Why do you listen him?

Kanatash - He's already proven himself to be crafty, viscious, and more than capable of outmanuvering me on several ocasions. You know how jarlot is the captain of the crew, well kithle is sort of the leader of the ubers. HE got that job by being the only one around not only crazy enough to give us orders, but crafty enough to make them work.
urial angel of death

05-16-06, 04:06 PM		Volrath wanders after Rikku, wondering what the little fey could possibly need that spell for. He reaches the room with the sacrifices and sees P/Y/R. All thoughts of Caralot flee his mind, and fall out his ears as little leeches.
Volrath (to himself) : She's hot.
Volrath (still in his head) : But fey taste soooo good, when marinaded in spider wine and white pork sauce.
Volrath (still in head) : Yes, but you can get fey to eat any day. This one bears an evil taint. Giving us a chance.
Volrath (in head) : Right.
Volrath (real world) : :drool:
P/Y/R: Would you convert to worshipping our mommy?
Volrath: Anything for you. All of my resources are at your disposal.

OOC: Incase you haven't noticed Volrath is very well, adolecent.
Charles Phipps

05-16-06, 04:35 PM		http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Main_Page

Finally a place to do up the information for our characters!

;-)

And what Jaela picture? I must see it!
Crystalforged

05-16-06, 05:40 PM		OOC: As to the whole Caralot/Kantash romance: GO FOR IT! Just remember that Caralot doesn't like just any cute, she likes freaky abnormal cute.
OOC: Well, I'm not all that great at doing relationship stuff but I can try, at least with the freaky abnormal stuff. Course that's probably going to be the heart of THIS relationship. :D



IC: Death Paper walks into Kithle's chambers acompanied by Kanatash, Carlot, and a small package. Death paper is looking rather disoriented.

Death Paper: (with a lisp) Eazy, sqizy, lemen peazy.

Kithle: What happened to Death Paper?

Kanatash: Constructs may be immune to insanity but even they can't take the full brunt of what was going on when he walked in without something happening. I should only be temorary, but I would advise not sending him in there again unanounced.

Kithle: Ok, whats with the package then?

Carlot: It's a joint project sweetums and I have been working on.

She opens the parcel to reveal a two foot tall, blue teddybear. It has large soulless eyes, berift of any sign of hope, love, or any other emotion, and a rainbow-like design on its stomach.

Kanatash: Since Sa'vor has already provided you with the army for the coming empire I thought we could devise something a little different. Think of them as the secret enforcers of a sort.

Kithle: Well, I can't say it seems your best work, what can it do?

Carlot: Oh, I think a demostration is in order. (points towards a handy redshirt)

The creature slips into the shadows and comes up upon the redshirt unseen before suddenly popping out behind him. The startled redshirt immediately attempts to stab the creature and the blade punches through it and out the other side. The creature suddenly sprouts half-a-dozen fleshy tentacles from its mouth which wrap around the redshirt, binding him in place. It reaches over and pulls out the dagger showing no sign of pain or injury, and in fact no blood flows from the puncture wound. Suddenly the rainbow on its chest begins to glow with an ominous light. The tentacle force open the redshirts eyes and turn him to face the rainbow symbol. He looks on for several moments before a blue vapor is exhaled from his open mouth. The vapor is quickly drawn into the mouth and wound of the creature (which promptly heals, leaving no sign of its prescence). The creature then releases the redshirt who simply walks away seemingly unharmed but closer examination releals the redshirt's eyes now have the same deadness within them as the creature.

Carlot: (giggling) Isn't it cute?

Kithle: (Slack jawed) I take back my previous assertion.

Kanatash: Yes, you see the creature has the abilities to suck the very souls from its victems to replace, albeit temorarily, the void within itself. After the soul it taken the victem does not die, but rather lives on as a near mindless puppet of the creature's master. If you wish, it can also use its "stare" to exert control over the minds of others without consuming their souls. Think of the oppertunity for enforcing your rule within the empire and rooting out dessenters.

Kithle: Alright, so what is it called?

Carlot: Well, we haven't decieded yet actually.

Kanatash: I was thinking maybe you would have some thoughts on that.
rampant

05-16-06, 06:22 PM		KIthle - :uh-huh:
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-16-06, 06:46 PM		Kithle: Hmm, they'll need a leader however……and I have the perfect one in mind.

He knocks on a wall in an intricate pattern. Soon Roosevelt turns up. He sees the teddy bear, still with its tentacles extended.

Roosevelt: This better not involve me doing anything cute.

Kithle: How would you like to be the captain of my secret enforcement for the Illithid Empire?

Roosevelt: What're the perks?

Kithle: Leading these creatures in secret enforcement of the laws of my empire.

Roosevelt: I thought you were all about anarchy?

Kithle: I'm about strength.

Roosevelt: Well then: :weep: . It's like you read my dreams. :devil:

Kantash: You mean……you can dream?

Roosevelt: Yeah. Like there's this one where this large black orb asks me what I would give to destroy all those who hate me for what I am.

Kithle and Kantash are silent for a second.

Kantash: I think I had something similar…

Kithle: Did it speak in red?

Kantash: Actually, yes. I didn't think about it before because stuff like that happens in Xoriat all the time.

Then all but Caralot hear it in the backs of their minds:

Where is it?…Is it here?…Why can't I find it?…I KNOW IT'S HERE…
urial angel of death

05-16-06, 07:51 PM		Squishy over hearing the conversation walks over.
Squishy: Kanatash though we creatures of Xoriat welcome you as one of our own. You still have the characteristics of your birth race.
Kanatash: That means...
Squishy: (finishing his thought) You shouldn't be able to dream.
Kanatash: Then this must be an entity of extreme power.
Squishy: Indeed. Anyway here are fines for all of you.
All: What?!?
Squishy: Loiterin-
Squishy is cut of as he begins to run from the enraged ubers.
JakeQuistis

05-16-06, 08:04 PM		Allen's Log, Journeydate 17
Today my mind wandered back to when I first joined the crew of the Forgotten Freedom. I had to start as a red shirt, but then again, so did everyone. Or at least that is what Jarlot told me. In those days, there weren't so many things to fear from the higher up characters, mainly because they weren't so powerful yet, and hadn't developed a taste for mass murdering red shirts yet. I was able to get a very good room, because no one else wanted to deal with a vampire. The reason I joined... I was bored, I guess. It's the whole living thing, day after day. You try to find things to do, but then end up getting bored of those things after a hundred years or so. That's when I decided to join a pirate ship. The adventure, excitement, and treasure. I searched for the most infamous ship, and found out it was the Forgotten Freedom. The rest, as they say, is history.

Allen's Log, Journeydate 19
I found myself back on the Forgotten Freedom this morning. Somehow, I was teleported back to my quarters on board. Perhaps the strange artifact I found was the cause. There seem to be many new members on board, or I just never noticed them before. One Red Shirt seems to be slightly more important than the others, his name is Ishmael Jr. I have heard he is trying to find out what happened to his father, Ishmael, but I have no clue who Ishmael is.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-16-06, 08:43 PM		Squishy over hearing the conversation walks over.
Squishy: Kanatash though we creatures of Xoriat welcome you as one of our own. You still have the characteristics of your birth race.
Kanatash: That means...
Squishy: (finishing his thought) You shouldn't be able to dream.
Kanatash: Then this must be an entity of extreme power.
OOC: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. But it works the way you put it. Thank you: :bow:

IC:
Out in the dark silence of space.

13: I have felt it.…They hold something.…Why can’t I feel it?…I feel it and yet I don’t know what it is…where it is.…They must know……………they must know how to stop hate…………

Time begins to shift around the moon, until it is a few years ago……the day Jarlot stole the Forgotten Freedom.
Crystalforged

05-16-06, 11:05 PM		Somewhere in the deepest, darkest bowels of the Forgotten Freedom hundreds, no thousands of dimensional rips begin to open. Countless figures come out of these rips and begin to congregate in a room so far down in the ship that even the Cthuhlian horrors normally don't come here. One stands on a podium above all the others.

SuperJarlot: Let this meeting commence...

---

Later that night, Norbaz is asleep in his room. Suddenly Norbaz awakes to a quite sound. Realizing there are intruders in his room he reaches for the stash of weapons he keeps at his bedside only to discover they have already been taken. A shadowy figure emerges from the gloom and Norbaz jumps forward to attack with his bare hands. Unfortunately before he can strike he recieves a Judo Chop to the back of the neck from an unseen assailent. He hears muffled voices as his world fades to blackness...

---

The next morning Norbaz is found next to the wall of rules, groggy and disoriented. A large sheet of paper is nailed on top of the list of things the crew is not allowed to do. It reads,

"Crew of the Forgotten Freedom, we, the Alternate Jarlots hereby announce the creation of our new organization, The JARLOT LEAGUE. We the Jarlot League also hereby declare our soverienty over this ship by merit of the fact that as we are all Jarlot, we are all the captain, and by majority rule we claim more authority than the present captain.

We would also like to issue an warning to the being known as Satnak. Your actions to date will not be held against you but there will be consequences for any further actions you take against the Jarlot League. To this end we have confiscated the knowledge of the recipe for the dish known as 12 alarm d'Norbaz from the mind of the cooky and destroyed all knowleged of its creation from both the cooky's mind and physical recipes. If we are slain the Chille will be taken with us and we are now your only source of non-everlunds chille. In consolation we would like to mention that Keanue Jarlot is still open game to all comers.

In closing we would like to display the beginings of a new Jarlot League rule list."

0) All rules on this list superseed any rules on the origional list.



Crow: Wow, what do you think the chances of this ending well are?

Silver: I'd say slim to nil, but then again I'm an optemist, so...
Kaizer_Ryu

05-16-06, 11:15 PM		OOC: Oh dear. Crystalforged. This most certainly will not end well. On a side note, I was planning to do this after my story ended, but another world ending crisis forced me to put it off (Not that I mind. It was fun). Lord Kale Fangblade gave me this idea with Naz'roth's lesson about Daemon/Demon differences. I liked it much more than my original. My thanks to him. Here is the explaination as to what the whole mess with Terra was really about.

IC:

Terra enters the area around Sa'vor's castle. Tara is overseeing the half-dragons in their training.

Tara: You need something?

Terra: Is Naz'roth around? I found something he may be interested in...

Tara: Over there. And don't try anything. I can see you from here.

Terra: You know he's not my type.

Walking up to him, she finds him instructing more of the troops in espionage. Noticing her, he sends them off to practice.

Naz'roth: What's up?

Terra: Theronas' diary. You may find it amusing.

Naz'roth: Guys keep journals, not diaries.

Terra: Whatever, just read it.

She hands over a book, the fruits of her decoding efforts. Flipping through it, Naz'roth smiles a bit.

Naz'roth: He had a few rejection issues, didn't he? Banished from Shavarath for being too much of a bastard. That's harsh.

Terra: It gets better. I found out why he gave my family power, as well as what he wanted me for.

Continuing on, he finds a passage discussing plans for a return to Shavarath. It talks about finding a suitable host for a ritual. Several references to draining a Daemon Lord's power, and even a detailed account of what was needed for such a thing to happen.

Naz'roth: This ritual was lost millennia ago to all but my kind. How could he know it?

Terra: It doesn't say, but while I was enslaved he kept talking about being 'destined'. I believe I can safely assume it means he found it through blind chance and thought fate had chosen him or something.

Naz'roth: According to this, your parents were close matches to what he needed, and he basically bred them to get you.

Terra: Depressing, isn't it? I came to be due to the whims of an insecure reject from the pits of Shavarath. He tried to possess my brother as well, but he was apparently unsuitable. The backlash from the rejection drove Haru mad.

Naz'roth closes the book and tosses it back to her.

Naz'roth: I can guess most of the rest. He was planning to use you as a medium to transfer the power of one of my sealed brethren to himself, thus gaining incredible power and leading a conquest of Shavarath.

Terra: More or less. After draining the one in Xen'drick, he was planning to go for the one in Sarlona. I believe once that was done he was planning to attempt to capture you and do the same.

Naz'roth: (smiling evilly) That would have been interesting...
rampant

05-17-06, 12:44 AM		Kithle - Satnak I can deal your deceptions, the whole renewing your physical arm, and being even more powerful than you let on, but why did you have to rip out the crystal blades on the arm?

Satnak - Well I messed with Burn and Twilight made them channel ampllifiers, and I've braided the 3rd into my ponytail as a link crystal, just go it up and running.

Kithle - Link Crystal?

Satnak - It links me to a demi-plane called the armory. Its like a library/shop for weaapons, and other gear. THis mark on my left arm the blue serpent it means I'm allowed to borrow stuff from the armory for free as long as its just for a little while, and I don't monopolize any one item or weapon too much. The other condition is we gotta make occasional donations.

Kithle - Burn and twilight I take it.

Satnak - Yeaah Heh heh...

Lisa - This has something to do with the explaination you say you owe us.

Satnak - sigh, When you summoned up an opposite of kanatash you got me from an alternate eberron. You know this much. In my eberron the war hadn't ended, any body with any power, but especially psionicists, who didn't ally themselves with a faction tended to get dead pretty fast. Well a couple of psys managed to stay hidden long enough to gather enough power to survive the inevitable join or die routines. They got powerful fast, not only that but they were absolutly ruthless with their opponents, ten years later they were still picking pieces of king kiaus 2 out of his throneroom being the biggest baddest grim psion in the world didn't help him much. Short of it is my world was not an easy place to live our hobos would eat your ogres alive. Eventually the two, now known as the Dragons of Will and Heart, Opened up shop once people realized that hey they could blow a hole straight through the gorram planet. They taught others how to become as strong as they were and even introduced new ways to use psionic power, and other disciplines. Artifice, and berserk mastery, physical combat, and of course sythesistic styles of fighting, were also on the cirriculum. I was one of the students, I was picked up when I was 12 and I had gotten lost in a brelish purge on my district, they got my parents and my sister dissapeared in the chaos. Kinda Cliche I know, anyway a kalashtar disguised as a begger found me wandering the back alleys. He had heard of the school and took me there. I trained as a breaker, my abilities are focused on ripping through defenses and counter-measures like walls, regenration, teleportation, godhood, veils between worlds, you know stuff that allows people to survive things or escape things. Levy, dragon of heart, was like an elder sister to me in a lot of ways. Part of the reason I disliked her lover Forbes, dragon of will, (no that doesn't mean I'm a lesbian, ... bi maybe but not the point) I was always afraid he'd come between us somehow. I was afraid of him aswell, I'd seen him stare down an entire pantheon. One time heaven and hell united against the School he just snapped his fingers and they were torn apart by unbearable pain. He'd linked their minds with his. He had this empathic trick where he felt the pain of those around him, when he linked the leaders to his own mind they were overwhelmed by just the normal aches and pains of everyday life around the area. When they tried fighting they just couldn't handle the pain. He kept it up for hours, Feeling their pains as they felt his. Most finally died from shock and he was just a little winded. Levy was the powerhouse though she could wrap a titan into a bow with one hand. I'm good almost as powerful as forbes, not as sneaky or mean though, but I'm not much compared to those two. When I found My sister I had just graduated and earned my mark for un restriced access to the armory and the right to call myself an equal-in-name-if-not-in-actual-power to Levy. I though she would be glad to see me or surprised, or something, but she had been picked up by a cult. She denounced me as a deicidal monster with no soul and attacked me. I guess I kinda proved her right that day when after I killed her I went on to slaughter her entire cult and the demon prince/demi-god sponsoring it literaly single handedly. I'm back in communication with home and Levy, but its gonna be while before I wanna face those memories in the flesh. I missed the official ceremony but, They just told me I made Breaker first class and tacked on the diecide as an award, not sure how I feel about that.

Terra, Lisa, Kithle - :eek:

Kithle - You know this also explains why you use incarnum yet still register as pretty much psi and some artifice.

Satnak - Yeah we express that as a psionic discipline, not a magical one, as to the artifice those are body mods that increase and help me focus my power, not a true ficer myself I can modify existing gear though and can create a few items, but nothing like what ketler or roosevelt can do.

Lisa - Where ar eyou keeping sakura any way?

Satnak - oh she's in the keep in my closet, you remember terra's pop's old place. I Got rid of the traps and the remaining servants so she should be fine.

Terra - Wow, we can never let caralot know about the ficer enhancements or she'll go bonkers, though being able to regrow limbs thight might not be a threaght to you.

Satnak - Regrow yes, quickly no, painlessly no, not a word about the enhancements to the crazy geno-freak. Gotta go, I need to see a cook about a recipe.

Lisa - But they mind mucked it out of norbaz.

Satnak - Yes, but the jerk developed a 20 alarm behind my back. I have a vial secreted away, and I figure all I need to do is take him down and go go on a bloody murderous rampage while the cooky reverse engineers the recipe.

Satnaks Real stats (or as close as this eberron can reflect them)
Psychic warrior 17/ Destruction? Incarnate 17/ Totemist (non beast themed) 5 + access to custom powers feats soulmelds, and items that make significantly more dangerous than this would imply
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 01:36 AM		OOC: Dude, rampant, that's some serious stuff there. Even more reason not to **** off Satnak. As if it wasn't a death wish in the first place...

IC:

After a night of fun (yes, that), Terra and Lisa lie awake talking in Lisa's room.

Lisa: Never a dull moment with you...

Terra: :D Likewise.

Lisa: *sigh* So much has happened in the last few weeks. It just doesn't seem real.

Terra: I know. All the revelations, the destruction, the close calls. Feels nice to get back to some sense of calm.

Lisa: True, but I'm beginning to worry about Michael. I haven't seen him since I brought him to the infirmary after Shadow Jarlot attacked.

Terra: Oh, he's here. I know where he is, but he needs to work a few things out for himself.

Lisa: Well...at least he's ok. I never got the chance to thank him for saving my life. He was gone by the time I got back.

Terra: He's changed a lot since I got here. Especially after I beat some sense into him. He's been far more respectful to women in general and you in particular.

Lisa: I noticed that too, that's one reason why... (her voice trails off and she blushes)

Terra: Don't worry. I know. So long as he's not just using you, I don't mind.

Lisa: ...I'm glad you feel that way. I-What is it?

Terra: :devil: I just had the best idea. I'll tell you later though. There is...something I must tell you first.

Lisa: ...what?

Terra: I realized we forgot to set up the anti-scrying field for your room.

Lisa: :eek: :blush: Y-you mean...?

Terra: Yeah. Sorry.
Charles Phipps

05-17-06, 02:17 AM		OOC: You'll like this spoof http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8ATpkCv74E&search=advent%20children%20parody

Ishmael Jr's Journal
Day 36

I'm currently in the infirmary right now having my arms and legs regenerated. I had an encounter with Kanatash....I don't call him the Demon anymore....where he used telekinesis to rip my extremities off.* I attacked him when I saw what he was doing to some of the other crew members. I don't comprehend how someone could see what he does to people....the sadism and murderous intent in his heart...and how they could just stand by. I was furthermore set on fire and left for dead. I have no apologies or regrets for what I did though because I'm glad I did it. The other crew may often be monsters or killers....but they're still people.

It was surprising that Lady Aerith came to visit me here but she did so and actually is curing my wounds and tending to the damage that's been done to me. I asked her why exactly she was going to do this when she'd done nothing for many of the other crew.

"You actually care," was her response.

I know that Kanatash killed my father now. I know furthermore that he died for no reason at all except for the selfish and vain whims. It was a game to him and my father was the pawn. I know worse that my father's life was nothing to him. Strangely, I found out my father died trying to protect the young woman Sakura. I can't really comprehend that given my father had never done a single noble or honest thing in his entire life. I can't possibly stand up to Kanatash so I don't know honestly what I'm going to do about it. It torments me really.

Aerith promised she'd tell me a story though while I recover here.

* Special thanks to Marish whom is doing dictation for me.



Aerith: What would you like to know?

Ishmael Jr: To be honest I'd like to know the truth about you and Jarlot. I saw the pictures...

Aerith: I don't like Phantasmal Force spells thank you. I don't mind girls but the thought of....*drones on naughty stuff that's somehow innocent*

Ishmael Jr: *blush* But yeah, how did all of this happen and what's everyone's relationship? I don't see how a place like this could come to exist.

Aerith: Very well, but it's not going to be a happy story.

Ishmael Jr.: They usually aren't.

Aerith: It begins with Thomas...

Ishmael Jr.: Thomas?

Aerith: Well, he wasn't always Jarlot...

Ishmael Jr.: Oh.

Aerith: He was born in the streets of Sharn during the Great War's mid point when the fighting still used magitech. The streets routinely were riddled with bombs and explosives and they often clapped children as young as eight or twelve into service of Breland for street to street fighting. I'm a half elf so I look younger than I am. I lived there as well.

Ishmael Jr.: My father talked about that time now and then. He said that food was very scarce.

Aerith: Yes. Jarlots mother died in the explosion of one of the fireball cannon shells dropped on the city and he was left to fend for himself. He joined with those Child Soldiers and stole, killed, and whatever else he had to do to survive.

Ishmael Jr.: That's hard to imagine.

Aerith: He had a mentor. His name was Michael. He was my brother. Jarlot's father was Royalty but also...inhuman. The thirst for blood was strong in him even then and that immunized him to most of the fear and carnage that haunts so many today. In the end, he followed his mentor across Breland and into Cyre where they switched sides for a purse. He was fourteen when he killed his hundredth man.

Ishmael Jr.: How did you fit in all this?

Aerith: He came back for me when he was twenty one. I wasn't.....I did what I had to do to survive in the slums. I didn't expect for him to come back, my brother had sold his soul to the darkness for knowledge of how to survive and a chance at greater wealth. We had our first child soon after but he'd already left after giving me all of his earnings.

Ishmael Jr: Michael doesn't look that old...

Aerith: He's not, though he's named after that Michael. The Michael whom was my brother was a genuine blackguard whom raped, impaled, and destroyed across the continent. The Michael you know bears his name but sadly I never told him that I was his mother. I do not know why I hid it from him but he thought I was sister as well....

Ishmael Jr: Wait...you mean?

Aerith: Yes. The Michael onboard this ship...current state as he is...is my son as he is also Jarlots. I suspect its partially why Jarlot adopted Ketler...to protect him.

Ishmael Jr: Woah.

Aerith: The war just...ground on...then as my brother grew more and more powerful and fanatical in the worship of the Dragon Below. He became Marshall of all of Cyre and made the Royal Family puppets as the people were more afraid of him than all of the hosts of the enemy.

Ishmael Jr: What happened?

Aerith: He believed that he could become as the gods. That he could join the ranks of the Dark Six if he but had enough lives to fill him. He became a conduit for the Dragon Below after he forced a demonic ship to be created that could sail through the dimensions and space.

Ishmael Jr: I find that a bit hard to believe.

Aerith: The ship tears through the fundamental fabric of the universe with its every motion. But the reason why we face so many immortal and omnipotent things from beyond is because of what happened next.....my brother offered up all of the dead of the worst and most terrible fighting of the war in Cyre to the Rajahs as he channeled that energy and destroyed a nation.

Ishmael Jr: Jarlot and your brother were the cause of the Day of Mourning?

Aerith: We had a daughter just a few years earlier.....he could not stomach the idea she would be involved and he killed Michael with a blow from behind during the ritual. An Empty gesture that had the cause of turning him into the channel for all the souls that were killed that day.

Ishmael Jr::mymy:

Aerith: Shadow lives inside him, my brother's spirit and he contains over a million souls that burn to be served as a vessel for darkness. It attracts the darkness to it like a moth to a flame....and I offered my daughter to the church and my own self that I might atone for my own part. My daughter Sakura was renamed Jaela by the flame.

Ishmael Jr: O...kay.

Aerith: As a simple mercenary and a man, Jarlot has chosen to be free against all the dark destiny and evil that the universe has to muster. When he dies, that power may be released anyway but it is his choice. All of the crew are unconsciously linked to the atrocities of that day even if they do not know it. The Dark Mercenaries were guilty of many evils to the people here.

*Aerith kissed his forehead*

Aerith: Of course that's if you BELIEVE any of that of course.

Ishmael Jr: Uhh...how does Tifa fit into any of this?

Aerith: I admit I have no idea.

*leaves*
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 02:33 AM		OOC: :blink: :thinks: I think my brain just shut down after reading that. The implications are simply mindboggling. Not to mention...creepy on many levels. There's enough in that post alone to keep this family dysfunctional for ages...
Charles Phipps

05-17-06, 02:49 AM		OOC: :blink: :thinks: I think my brain just shut down after reading that. The implications are simply mindboggling. Not to mention...creepy on many levels. There's enough in that post alone to keep this family dysfunctional for ages...

:bows: Thank you.

I wanted to be a bit more serious.

Jaela: EEEEEEK!

I wonder how Terra will react.
Jürgen Hubert

05-17-06, 02:54 AM		The List is great!

I'm currently trying to get an Eberron online game going, and there will probably be a Wiki linked to the game as well. Would anyone here object to me putting the list on the Wiki once it works?
Charles Phipps

05-17-06, 03:17 AM		g'head
Phantomcrossing

05-17-06, 03:37 AM		Norbaz kneels, chained to the ground before the Jarlot League and their list.

Norbaz: Okay...lets try this from the top. Any major move I make, I try to make with the Captain's permission. I only take my outside jobs when the crew gets leave while we're docked. And I've made a weapon this ship has put to good use several times to great effect. I ask you why you hold me hear.

Super Jarlot: For matters of Truth, Justice, and the Brelish way.

Norbaz: My father was Brelish, I grew up in Sharn. I don't lie and am usually forthcoming with the truth. I'm a seeker of justice, or at least my own interpretation of justice. And I try not to step on anyone's toes. I'll ask again. Why in Khyber's brimstone smoking arse are you holding me here.

The League of Jarlots begin arguing. It goes kind of like this.

Keanu Jarlot: Dude I know Kung Fu.

Bruce Jarlot: No...no you don't.

Jarlvarine: Grr, shut it bub, I don't need yer guff.

Jarbilee: Razzle dazzle...I hate my powers.

Bat Jarlot: I'm Batman.

Super Jarlot: Hey! Focus people!

Hulk Jarlot: JARLT SMASH!

Super Jarlot: Yes, you can do that later.

Jaragon: Something is amiss, my friend, what do your elven eyes see.

Jargolas: I see that the cooky has dissapeared and has been replaced with a crudely constructed straw mock up.

Super Jarlot: What! Find him!

______________________________________

Norbaz: Damn, where the hell is this place...crap. I'm sneaking around in this cold, strange and unfamiliar place...completely vulnerable...damn...I shouldn't sleep in the nude.

The half giant cooky begins sneaking around, knocking out guards as he goes, holding his hands in a very odd position to secure his more private areas, even when attempting a carwheel, which he fealt the need to do while sneaking past a guard for some reason...as the floor began lighting in octagonal patterns where he passed, he began thinking he may be in some bad parody...what did the captain call it, anachronism?

Super Jarlot's Voice in the distance: What! Find him!

Norbaz: ****, I've been made...time to augment my stealth.

Using assassin magic, Norbaz becomes a semi viscous and formed fluid allowing him to slide about in greater silence, hopping to find a way out. Soon, he comes to a set of doors.

Norbaz: Okay...gotta get back to warn the crew...left, right, or middle....

He hears a beeping noise. Looks around, and then tries to clean out his ear, suddenly he can hear a voice.

Voice: Agent Chilly, you've infiltrated the new superweapon, Iron Gear. Go ahead and you'll meet Agent Serpent to give you your gear back, take the left door.

Norbaz complies unsure of what to do, and is pulled inside by Solid Snake Jarlot.

Solid Snake Jarlot: Here's your equipment, now suit up, we're taking this thing out.

Norbaz:...this is a joke, right. Vrin is gonna pop out of nowhere with some punk teenager and that recording device and told me I've been pranked...right? Or better, a dream...soon I'll wind up falling, and land in a field of black roses next to a mental dipiction of Andrea...right?....Sigh, this just isn't my night.
rampant

05-17-06, 04:29 AM		Satnak - Your damn right, get your pants on man!!!

Norbaz - Gah (rushes the pants)

Solid J - Hide me! (runs)

Satnak - Lets go pantless wonder.

Norbaz - What about the recipe.

Satnak - I know full well you've been holding out on me mister 20 alarm.

Norbaz - That stuff is beyond weapons grade if it got loose it would be another day of mourning, I have nightmares about what happened to the other vial...

Satnak - Do honestly think I'd let anything happen to it until you were back on duty? well cooky mc pantless?

Norbaz - Do you have to keep harping on that?

Satnak - No i just...

Norbaz - NO squirrel jokes.

Satnak - You ready yet Andrea and MArish are causing a distraction, dissecting keanu j.

NOrbaz - Yeah i guess.

Norbaz and Satnak run through the halls as satnak drops a telepathic warning to abandon demi-plane. Most of the J's are unsure of what to do since they don't recognize her mental voice. Marish and Andrea join Norbaz and Satnak.

Andrea - I didn't know you could be this subtle.

Marish - Yeah I was kinda expecting another rampage with the spiked armor.

Satnak - Well the armor I'm wearing kinda is the spiked armor.

Andrea - Spill

Satnak - I have no Idea how Terra's pop got his hands on a bonding armor. It customizes itself to the wearer, and I slipped some new allows into its systems. From there it was just a matter of giving it a chance to adapt to my body and style. Any way here's our exit.

The party exits the demi-plane.

Norbaz - Who told them they coulds set up a demi-plane in this hallway, I mean people sleep here.

Satnak - Not an issue I've wanted to try this ever since I read about.

Satnak puts her hand back into the portal. She begins charging energy.

Satnak - *GOLDEN CRASH*

Satnak pulls her hand very quickly, so fast there is a small sonic boom.
THe portal winks out.

Anrdrea - What in the name of all thats twisted did you do young lady.

Satnak - I weeded out the weak, dumb, slow, or useless.

Marish - SO in other words Genocide.

Satnak - Here's Hoping.

Marish - So much for subtle.

Andrea - Indeed.

-------------------------

Cookie for the first person to figure out where thats from, and what just happened.
Charles Phipps

05-17-06, 05:34 AM		OOC: You know I shouldn't, but everytime a Jarlot dies. I find it really depressing.

Poor Solid J!

Aerith: Thank goodness I'm here to bring them back!
rampant

05-17-06, 05:50 AM		OOC : Little secret: she never touched him. If he listened he might even still be alive, and if he isn't its gonna take a bit more than ressurection to fix it.

-------------------
Onboard the FF II flying low over xendric waters.

Silence - Hey Chalky what you doing.

Chalky - I figured since we're out of Sahaguin I'd go fishing. Oh a bite, come here you.

A mighty struggle ensues, that is until chalky remembers he can simply stick the fishing rod in himself and hold it that way.

Silence - Mildly disturbing with a touch of looks painful. 7.2

Chalky - THanks, Here it is.

Up onto the deck a 4-armed sahaguin is pulled.

Chalky - Here's you respirator mask, your shirt, and your waterproof insurance card. Now tie yourself to the line jump into the water and bring me salmon.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-17-06, 07:42 AM		OOC: In response to Charles's revelations:

IC: Crow: No wonder Jaela is so fun to mess with.

Silver: Do you think we should tell her?

Crow: And ruin the upcoming idea?

Silver:………What do you know that I don't?

Crow: :angelhide
***
An echoy voice drifts through the Forgotten Freedom. It sounds as if it is made of screams, tortured souls across time forced to see that those around them live on no more thoughts than fear, each word the voice of a different being.

"Volrath……what would you give if you could have your mother and sister back?……………Would you destroy the Silver Flame?……………………Would you cause the ones who hated you to die? To suffer as you have suffered?"

It continues drifting. Some of the crew can't hear it, but they feel it's sadness and its anger.

"Terra………………you have already shown you are willing…………………Help me……………Help me destroy those who hate……………"

Norbaz's chilli heats up 50 alarms as the voice reaches it. Some bodies that Andrea hasn't gotten to yet animate on their own, energized by the pain.

"Jarlot…………………………………Would you give anything?…………………………………Do you wish your family to be together?…………………I feel it…………in your past……………Would you destroy those who caused the war?"

The voice now seems to be seeking something. A feeling it knows is aboard the ship, yet does not feel like many of the others.

"Caralot……………"

Suddenly is screeches out. Something is protecting this feeling.

"It does not matter………………I shall have control of what I seek………………………………………………through any means…………………………"
rampant

05-17-06, 07:51 AM		OOC : EXCUSE ME!!! can we put this on the back burner for a bit, We have Y/R/P to settle with, and the League of J couldn't have all been in the demi-plane or are you going to give satnak her victory that easy? I'm sorry but its too much to keep track of. AAHHHHH my head.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-17-06, 08:09 AM		OOC : EXCUSE ME!!! can we put this on the back burner for a bit, We have Y/R/P to settle with, and the League of J couldn't have all been in the demi-plane or are you going to give satnak her victory that easy? I'm sorry but its too much to keep track of. AAHHHHH my head.
OOC: Okay, I'll hold off.
rampant

05-17-06, 08:26 AM		OOC : thx, even kithle needs time to re-adjust.

----------------------------

Satnak - Ok lets see while whatever's left of the League of Jerks is planning their counter I'll need to Find Y/R/P.

Kithle - OK people here are the Plans for this time around, Caralot thanks for getting the Squirrels those trained Ocelots, and those tiny saddles. Sa'vor Try not to kill them, Satnak Your on Sakura detail. Terra Kanatash keep that little bugger Volrath out of the way Please, contrary to popular belief I don't enjoy sucking out peoples spinal columns.
urial angel of death

05-17-06, 08:51 AM		Volrath is wandering through his mind.
Volrath: Why am I doing this? Why am I submitting to a fey? What part of me did this? Why am I compelled to do her bidding? Why does it feel like I'm planning something?
A Volrath made entirely of shadow walks up behind him.
Shadow: Don't worry. We aren't submitting.
Volrath: Then why are we doing this? Why does a part of my mind know more than the whole?
Shadow: I am a very special part. Remember? You made me to keep secrets. Plans you didn't want other to get from reading your mind. You subsonciously make store the plans in me until the time is right. Just be assured, you are not submitting.
Volrath: Fine.
Chrys

05-17-06, 08:52 AM		Satnak - Ok lets see while whatever's left of the League of Jerks is planning their counter I'll need to Find Y/R/P.

Why? she has yet to do any thing wrong plus only Bob, Igor and Volrath know she has changed yet?
Albert

05-17-06, 09:15 AM		(Sorry, this needs to get moved up ahead - takes place after a specific post.)
Albert

05-17-06, 09:17 AM		And while I was typing that, SilvercatMoonpaw edits and this gets put on the backburner.

Silver? Any of my post that you want to make use of, when your storyline gets going again?

-Albert
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-17-06, 10:29 AM		First off I'm holding back because there is both the League of Jarlots to deal with and Tifa's demon. That let's you know about when I can start up.

However, you've completely missed the motivation of the character. I can't tell what it's motivation is without revealing a plot point, so you'll have to wait. It may be best if you don't try to interpret it. But what of your post I like, here are they:
Where Aerith invites Kithle into her mind, and his impression of it.
The part where Aerith explains why heaven doesn't just try to make people happy.

Other parts of it, like the thing about only 1 in 10 or innocent blood won't matter to my character. Just a warning.
Albert

05-17-06, 10:48 AM		Understood - I'll pull an edit later, after I get some sleep.

-Albert
Chrys

05-17-06, 10:52 AM		The Up in Lisa’s room because its only place every one else trusts. The female ubers [with the exception of Satnak, Andréa and the cat girl]

Tifa: I fold

Lisa: Fold

Terra: Fold

Aerith: Gin! I win!

Carlot: How do always now to fold when every time I have a good hand! And I still think we should be strip…

Every one else: NO!

Terra: You have a bad tell.
Lisa: Whenever you have good hand, your body…starts to glow.

Tifa: Does any else have an odd feeling of impending doom? More then normal I mean.

Lisa, Terra and Carlot : no

Aerith: A lot of Red shirts just died but its most likely another game of chess…

All of the sudden Tifa Grabs her head moans a bit and falls out of here chair

Aerith and Lisa look sternly at terra

Terra: Do not look at me I did not do … this time.

Carlot: You know this would be a good time to figure out how she has pixie children…

Aerith: No!

Tifa starts to get back up…

* in side Tifa’s head *

Tifa: what is going here?

Bob: Nothing you need to worry about… in fact you’ll never have to worry about anything ever again.

Tifa: Bob! What are you doing out of the gauntlets?

Bob: The Gauntlets don’t matter now… I mean soon I will have a completely new body…

Tifa: What! You are supposed to help Kill Aerith and help me win back Jarlot!

Bob: For the love of… He does not Love you!

Tifa: Ye…

Bob: NO, HE DOES NOT. Look you were never in love with jarlot… you were in love with the other guy, That Shadow guy… you know the one that tried to kill you.

Tifa: But…

Bob: Look remember back, when Jarlot and the shadow guy took over the ship. You Fell in lust with the dark charismatic guy with the big sword… He had his way with you and took the ship… you fallowed him and then Jarlot killed him. Aerith was his sister…

Tifa: But I…You right my life is a lie, All I ever wanted what some one to pay attention to me. Even back in the house, all the other girls got more attention and when HE … he paid attention to me even if it was only for that… I just want some one to notice me…

Bob: Don’t worry I’m here to help. I need a body and a fresh soul to move up in demonic rank.

Tifa: So you’re just going to eat me…

Bob: No We are going to become one being; you see After being trapped for thousand of year only my power and a small sliver of my will are left… With both of us combined we should have enough power to rise to the level of Demon lord… and then people will pay attention to us may be even worship us. So what do you say?

Tifa: You’re asking me?

Bob: …Yes, I don’t have enough will to take you by force.

Tifa: What about Yuna, Paine and Rikku?

Bob: All ready taken care of.

Tifa: Ok, I’ll Do it.

* After ‘Tifa’ is getting up.*

Aerith: Tifa… are you ok.

Tifa: Yes, I am better then ok; oh Aerith… You can have Jarlot…he was never really the one I wanted. Now I am going to the changing room, I’ll be back in a bit

Every once else is not in shock. As she walks out.

Aerith: Did she just say what I though she said.

Lisa: Yes… I think when she fell off the chair she hit her head.

After a few minutes ‘Tifa/Bob’ Walks in to the room she now looks a bit taller and more sure of her self, she also now a black fox like tail and pair of pixie like wings… and strategic parts of her body are cover in the same black fur, she is now wearing a low cut dress, instead of her tight leather armor.

Lisa: Um…Tifa?

Tifa/Bob: Yes.

Aerith: So Bob you final got control of her.

Tifa/Bob: Not really, we are more like a new person… I really to think up a new name… How about Beryl?

Terra: Only if you want thousand of magical girl in sailor outfits trying to over throw you with the power of love every couple of second.

Beryl: Really, thats better then I thought then… I have thousand of uses for captured magical girls.


Beryl: Demon lord of the Forgotten Freedom, gambling, drinking and Red shirts.
CE Medium Outsider [I’m not sure if Demon lords can have class lvls wait till next month when the FC:HA comes out and I’ll stat her a bit better.

*is basically immortal if she dies she’ll just refom some place else on the ship
*is P/Y/R’s mother
* Hates cats, but is not going out of her way to kill the Cat girl.
*Have evil plans have to deal with magical girl in sailor outfits…No I don’t know what they are yet
*She may for may not still have feeling for this Shadow/ Michael person
* P/Y/R is at the moment her only minion, she can’t summon any demon but she can temporality change some one in to one
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 11:21 AM		OOC: I moved the rest of this ahead to coincide with Alberts. With some moderate tweaking...

IC:

Terra: Remember Beryl, many of us on this ship, myself included, can do things worse than kill you. I quote Chalky: "Immortality isn't an advantage when all you know is pain."
Chrys

05-17-06, 11:50 AM		Beryl Eh, you don't have to worry about me getting in to any of you plots for bit. I still need to get use to my new body; plus I pormised P/Y/R I'd spend time with her if she be came coruppeted. She Really did a number on some of those red shirts. I Call.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-17-06, 12:11 PM		Sa'vor walks through the passages of the forgotten freedom, having just recently placed the dagger he created for slip on her pillow. The Raven Void keeps an eye on the various events that are happening at the moment, while Naz'roth and Tara spend some quality time together

(in sa'vors thoughts)
Sa'vor: the information Aerith told me was not new, blood in its self is magical. thats why i drink it to sustain my "life". trapped between Life and unlife. the dull throbbing pain is somthing i've come to revel in. to be alive is to feel pain.
Aerith had obviously forgotten that I was a blood magus. i know blood is magical, inherently magical. after my first death i felt it pulse in my viens with, i listened for its song for years. i learned to shape it like i shape magic and time. I wonder how she'll view my gift? will she like it? will she hate it? no, i need to be calm. my mind needs to be clear.

The Dark: you are quite right as always. but you forget the true purpose for your existance on this plane. to kill. you where let free to kill for the dreaming dark. you are a pawn in their schemes. you are above such petty emotions as love.

Sa'vor: im not supirior. in fact im below lisa, she has the ability to hope, she can see good in people. all i see is bad.

The Dark: you look into peoples souls and you see what consumes them from within, you see their sins. their desire, what motivates every action behind the scenes. you see what truly enters peoples minds, their surface thoughts, their thoughts below. their subconcious thoughts. what they fear and what they truly think of people.

Sa'vor: the greatest Burden is the truth. and i bear it heavily.

The Dark: and through others you have come to know your own desires, your own thoughts, your own fears and your own... lusts.
* in the real world, lisa and terra walk past. hand in hand*
The Dark: dont you just envy them? they truly love one another. they are together. they dont have to protect the one they love from whats in them. like you do, thats why you didnt approach slip earlier isnt it. your afraid of what she might find in your mind, your afraid of ME or perhaps one of the other parts of you harming her.

Sa'vor: yes im afraid for her. but i've learnt that your not in power. I am. and im the one whom controls this mind. this is my realm. your just here for me to have somthing to talk to

The Dark: and im here to show you what your like, without your own jaded view. im here to show you the Real you. the you that delites in slaughter, that feels the exstasy of magic, the you that enjoys the power of fire. the you that feels hatred, envy, and all those other emotions you lock away. im the dark side of you. and im the side whom see's the truth. you whant to destroy. its in your blood. you cant fight it.

Sa'vor: i've learnt many things from this ship. what you are doesnt matter. what you do does.

The Dark: you hide from the truth of life. people will always see you as a Vampiric Half-dragon, Half Feind Elven abomination. and thats all you ever will be, because beneath your skin, you whant to destroy. and you always shall.

Sa'vor: maybe, but that darker side is in everyone. even Aerith has one, mine is just greater.

The Dark: you speak the truth. None of them see the true you, they see darkness yes, but not the Darkest deepest darkness. not what the Daelkyr did to you, not what the Qouri did to you, Not what everything in the planar realms did to change you. you'll never fit in anywhere and you know it. not even here
urial angel of death

05-17-06, 01:18 PM		Shadow: Now is our chance take capture the demon.
Volrath: To what end, of our's?
Shadow: In its weaken state, we can capture it. Don't we know how much a bond demon is worth?
Volrath: 250 souls.
Shadow: Exactly, we wouldn't need to soul hunt for atleast a month.
Volrath: Wouldn't that kill their mother as well, and damn her to an eternaty(sp) of anguish?
Shadow: So?
Volrath: Wouldn't that be hypocritical of us?
Shadow: I don't care!
Volrath: Well I do! You're begining to sound a lot like father.
Volrath aborbs the shadow.
Volrath: You were no longer of me. We had been apart for too long. Well what to do now? I no longer have a reason to serve her, and if I try to make a move Tifa would kill me.

OOC: Silvercatmoonpaw for the voice thing Volrath would most certainly say yes.Just info for when you go on with your story.
Crystalforged

05-17-06, 03:37 PM		OOC: I don't want to derail any of these ongoing plotlines but I wanted to ask if any of you had ideas for naming the creatures that Kanatash and Carlot came up with for Kithle. I'm thinking of using them again and I don't want to keep calling them "the creature" but for the life of me I can't come up with anything good. (by the way, if you didn't figure it out already, yes, the creatures are a spoof on the care bears)
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-17-06, 03:46 PM		OCC: they are: somthing to be very very afraid of
urial angel of death

05-17-06, 04:27 PM		OOC: scare bears?
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-17-06, 04:35 PM		OOC: Since no one wants to propose any more names for the bar, I am now posting the nominations. You may vote for three, but be sure to put them in order of importance.

from SilvercatMoonpaw
Lethe’s (From the mythical river of Lethe which if drunk from caused you to forget everything. A play on “Forgotten Freedom”.)
The Bar
Decanter of Endless Booze

from rampant
Swill hole
Muradins beard (with a mass of familiar hair with the dye juob starting to run nailed to the sign)
Booze bank
Erk's place
The Brawl Room
Liquor lounge
Keel Haul Kavern
Whiskey Whirlpool
Vodka Vale
The Plastic flamingo

from urial angel of death
ogre **** (goblins refrence)
what is that?
the drunken dragon
the bobing beholder
the lost coin purse
catgirls live!
the tavern
little Sharn
the cow level
there is no cow level
secret dungeon
gates to hell
no shirt no shoes no problem
8-bit theatre (or course the gang would have to sign on to the forgotten Freedom)
no ubers
the smorg
bunny's place
rainbow
blood, sweat, and ale
a free redshirt with every purchase

As to the name of the bear creatures:
Make it something sickeningly sweet. It soooooooo much more evil.:devil:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 04:52 PM		OOC: Crystalforged, I figured it out pretty quick. It's not much of a stretch to get from soul sucking horors of creation to your creature thing. :D But I'll have to think about names some more, nothing disgustingly cute comes to mind, though I must agree it would be more evil...

As for my nominations for the bar, I'll have to go with:
1: Keel Haul Kavern
2: Erk's place
3: There is No Cow Level

Of course, the motto should be (for female crew at least): No Shirt, No Charge. :D

I moved the rest of this one ahead as well, considering it is based off the previous post I moved.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 04:52 PM		Crap, double post.
Charles Phipps

05-17-06, 05:10 PM		Bar

Jarlot: Gentlemen and Ladies....plus...Terra....

Terra: Hey!

Jarlot: You're not a lady.

Terra: Grumble.

Jarlot: I've decided to unilaterly declare this bar Jarlot's Kickass Bar

*crickets chirp*

Jarlot: By which...only I can use it. All in favor say aiye.

Jarlots: AIYE!

Jarlot: Motion carried.
Quoriil

05-17-06, 05:10 PM		for the bar:

Lethe's
Erk's Place
Cheers ;)
rampant

05-17-06, 05:11 PM		1. Keel Haul Kavern (must say I'm kinda proud of that one)
2. Erk's place (can't argue with someone that many times my size)
3. Lethe (love a bad pun)

----------------

Terra - I'm thinking Satnak has the right Idea.

Satnak - Does this mean I can smush em.

Erk - axes a Jarlot

Satnak - nice, how about a race your axe vs one of my lesser constructs, *astral construct: Grye* 3 -2 -1 go

There is much slaughter.



ooc : no takers on where golden crash is from?
Crystalforged

05-17-06, 05:18 PM		OOC: urial, your suggestion isn't bad but I was hoping for something more along SilvercatMoonpaw's train of thought.

For bar names, I like both Keel Haul Kavern and Erk's Place. However another one just struck me that I am fond of as well: The Hell Hole. It fits the place at least.
urial angel of death

05-17-06, 06:29 PM		1) There is no cow level
2) the Tavern
3) Cheers
Endless_Helix

05-17-06, 06:51 PM		I, Codename G, have survived!

Many things have happened since I managed to smuggle my last letter out (no, I can't tell you how), and most of them truly horrible. For instance, I was polishing the floor in hallway near the galley, and dozens of beings that closely resemble our most beneficient captain poured out of the woodworks!. They tried to string me up for my "EXP" and my "GP", on threat of my "HP". I was confused and told them to make sense. Luckily, as they prepared a branding iron, Satnak, the Deicide walking and destroyed many of them. Some got away, but they could be counted on one hand. I nearly got sucked into a pocket of unexistance. I've lost part of my leg (from the knee down) and it is extremely resistant to all heal spells.

I thanked the Deicide and begged for my life. So she only took my leg instead of killing me. Frankly, I think that's a pretty damn good trade.

Apparently this sort of supernatural infestation isn't entirely uncommon on the ship. They've had several types of outsiders attempt to make it their home, most recently a insane thrallherd basically turned many of the redshirts into copies of her own deluded self and attempted to win Kanatash the Corrupter's non-existant heart. In the past there were the C'tan, the Darkness Family, Kanatash copies, squirrels, and the everpresent threat of "Random Entities of Non-Existance".

It seems they need an exterminator.

On the upside, the bar will finally be officially named! Now, you must understand, there is nothing but misery and woe on this ship, except in the bar. It's stocked with everykind of intoxicating liquid ever discovered in the known universe and a few that are entirely new. It's the place to soak your sorrows after a day of barely surviving and watching those who didn't make it die horrible deaths. Redshirt deaths are up 230% since I last could get my message out. There have been three "meldings" of the crewmembers in the last several days. First Terra, the notorious drug smuggler and crime lord, had some sort of shady dealing with an elder god, though it may not have been quite like the other two, which ahd a complete meshing of personality. Aparently three fay who infested the ship united and became a slightly more annoying thing than before. Their mother had sold her soul to a demon forr power and is now fully combined with him.

This also has a history, Aerith, the astral deva who protects Jarlot's soul, is actually Brianna, Keeper Daran's elder sister, and Aerith, Jarlot's childhood love combined. Apparently, Aerith has mothered Jarlot's love child! Romantic novels await both of them!

And now an exclusive interview with a hot up and comer, Ishmael Jr.!

I: Thanks for interviewing me

G:The pleasure is mine; are you sure this is a safe area?

I: Dear sir, My father built this, surely you do not impugn my father?

G: I don't know anything about your father, so tell me more.

I: Well, We were moving to Fairhaven, and Father had gone to "scout it out". When we arrived he had gone, leaving us a note that he'd joined onto the Forgotten Freedom as a Redshirt.

G: So basically, he ran out on you.

I: Yeah, pretty much. So I set out to find him and have concluded that he died during the conflict with the C'tan. This was confirmed by several redshirts, while no longer living, were alive at the time I had joined up.

G: So what are your goals now?

I: Surviving. Drinking, Screwing and Surviving. But especially survivng.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Volrath : Ketler! What are you doing?!

Ketler: Wheeee... Thunder is fun...

Volrath: Are you drunk or something?

Ketler *looks afronted*: 'M not drun'; I'm stoned! Get it straight.

Volrath : Indeed. Now, what did you do to my experiments in MY LAB?

Ketler : See that tinfoil, the magnet and the shoe lace thats tacked up to the cieling? That connects to your lightning rod?

Volrath : Yep.

Ketler : That used to be attached to that abberation's corpse you had on that table. You know, the one that was half rotted? Hee hee... Whooo!
----------
Ishmael Jr. walks accross the deck, hands in his pockets grumblng to himself. It was a cold, cold night, and Ishmael Jr. had a long list of things he had to do. Many of them involving various cleaning equipment.

Ishmael Jr : grumble Razzer-frazzen mops, stupid arsehole Klaz... Jaela's ***, what IS THAT SMELL?

He turns around, only to face the strangest sight he has ever seen, bare none. A decaying pseudopod, with maggots of various types seething in the remains of its intestines, is crawling tword him, dragging a book behind it in its one remaining tentacle. It leaves a slimy, bug ridden trail behind it. Part of wha could be its brain is vissible through the hole in it's skull. It was apparently burned by some horrid dissolvent as well. The stench it gives off is rather quite impressive.

Ishmael Jr.: Uh... What?

The abberation waves the book and makes a vague groaning noise. The book is pockmarked, as though it had a slight bath in acid. The title is ilegible.

Ishmael Jr.: What do you want? I'm trying to swab the bloody deck here, and you're a bally walking mess! So **** off!

The abberation makes a slurping noise, throws the book at Ishmael Jr. and promptly collapses. The tentacle flops around like a dying fish, writing "you were always good for..."
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 07:27 PM		OOC: Poor Ishmael (and Jr.).

This set of rules is for anyone who has played Skies of Arcadia. I'm surprized no one has done these yet, and upset with myself for not thinking of it earlier.

IC:

5664: The Forgotten Freedom is not the Albatross
5665: I or II
5666: or the Little Jack
5667: OR THE DELPHINUS!
5668: I am not Vyse
5669: Aerith is not Fina
5670: When she was still Tifa, Beryl was not Aika
5671: Satnak is not the female version of Drachma
5672: Yes, I know she's grumpy, hits us a lot, and has a synthetic arm but that's beside the point
5673: Devon is not Gilder
5674: Neither is Michael
5675: King Kaius is not Galcian
5676: Dragonshards are not Moon Stones
5677: Kaarnath is not Valua
5678: Xen'drick is not Ixa'taka
5679: Valenar is not Nasr
5680: Riedra is not Yafutoma
5681: Ketler's Mi-go cannon thing is not the Moonstone Cannon
5682: I know it's eerily similar and that the Entity from Beyond Non-existance was thinking of it when he told Ketler to make it, but...
5683: OK, OK ALREADY! IT'S THE FREAKING MOONSTONE CANNON!

OOC: Ok, that's all I can think of for now. If I missed one, feel free to add more.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-17-06, 07:37 PM		OOC: So far:
#1 spot:
Keel Haul Kavern: II
Lethe's: I
There is No Cow Level: I

#2 spot:
Erk's Place: III
The Tavern: I

#3 spot:
There is No Cow Level: I
Cheers: II (however, I may rule that this is in violation of a copywrite, and further more a boring joke)
Lethe's: I

Unnumbered:
Keel Haul Kavern: I
Erk's Place: I
The Hell Hole: I

Erk's Place is in the lead, followed closely by Keel Haul Kavern.
IC: ***
Crow: D*mn, I didn't get my nomination in on time.

Silver: Oh, and what was that going to be?

Crow: Death Gods' Do-It-Yourself.

Silver: Too long. It should be something short, because the brain dead people will still need to remember it.
***
OOC: Will whoever is doing the Tifa thing please tell me when you're done so I can get back on my story?
rampant

05-17-06, 07:38 PM		Satnak - I was wondering when you losers where gonna retaliate.

Bat-J - Dammit I'm ninja-esque you can't see me!

Satnak - Yeah but your buddy in the blue spandex kinda ruined it. You revealed yourself just then.

Bat-j - Dammit!! I'm supposed to be the freaking genius here.

Satnak - Nah, your just a cheap knock-off. Just like the rest of you alt-j's.

Remnants of the legue - OH ITS ON *****!!!

Satnak - Hahahahahahaha hoooooo thats funny.

Super-j - What are you laughing at?

Satnak - You guys couldn't beat me when I was holding back so you attacked the cooky instead. In response I recaptured the cooky and destroyed the demiplane you were hiding him in. I never touched any of you, and I even left a warning to get the kyhber out. Any one who got sucked into ablivion was either to slow, stupid, or weak to get out in time. Not my fault the others didn't help them out instead of trampling each other. Finally here you are making threats against me with reduced numbers, me using my full strength, and no trump cards.

Spider-j - What about in the bar?

Satnak - Its my job to keep the ship from being overrun. Especially when you consider Kithle would do much worse to you if you tried to come between him and his Alchemic Iced rasberry lemonade with a shot of liquid Keel haul. You acutally owe me for that.

Remnants of the League - Screw this she's using logic again, run while you still exist.

Super/Bat/Spider -J - Damn our courage.

Satnak - Smush, ewww, scrape.

--------------
ooc
Ok thats the LoJ taken care of for now, Unless Beryl and Y/R/P plan on doing something more go ahead with the creatures from beyond normal comprhension. Btw satnak regrew her bio-mech arm like she had before, technically its no more synthetic then the rest of her body (about 30%). It looks normal though, well aside from the blus serpent tatoo eating it.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 08:09 PM		Btw satnak regrew her bio-mech arm like she had before, technically its no more synthetic then the rest of her body (about 30%). It looks normal though, well aside from the blus serpent tatoo eating it.

OOC: Oh, ok. I was unsure if I was reading that part right. Thanks for clearing it up.
urial angel of death

05-17-06, 08:31 PM		OOC: Silvercatmoonpaw we're all waiting on you.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 08:56 PM		OOC: Silvercatmoonpaw we're all waiting on you.

As he said, I'm pretty sure Chrys is done with the whole Tifa -> Beryl thing for the moment. I'd say you're good to go.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-17-06, 09:11 PM		It’s a typical day at the bar. A variety of Alt-Jarlots are passing through, races and classes from different games and campaign settings are mingling, and various people are adding to the Rules of the Bar.

Silence comes in to start her part-time shift. But she’s surprised to see Silver and Crow mixing the drinks.

Silence: Hey, what happened to Erk?

Crow: Oh, he’s off somewhere doing something.

Silver: With Mr. T, Lucky, Long Wang, and NJ 26.

The Random Entity from Non-existence emerges from the back room throwing an Alt-Satnak.

Silver: We decided that there wasn’t anything interesting to comment on—

Crow: —so we came back to run this bar.

Silver: It’s perfect for us.

Crow: It doesn’t so anything useful.

Silver: We get to work in a place that connects to everywhere.

Crow: We get to meet new people almost every second.

Random Entity from Non-existence: And I get first crack at Alts before Satnak can show up.

Silence: Well I sure hope Erk is okay…
***
Dun-dun-dunDAH-dun-dun-dundah…

Erk held the wire cutters in one hand and used the other to trace the various connections among the bomb’s components. NJ 26 is beside him, also trying to figure out the tangle of wires.

NJ 26: Can you hurry up? We’ve only got 49 seconds!

Lucky is crouched beside a door with lots of holes in it, across from Mr. T. They are both holding projectile guns.

Lucky: Hey, horn-head, they’re moving down the corridor!

Several more chunks of the door are blown off.

Erk: *grunt, snort*

NJ 26: I thought you said you were some kind of savant at this?

Erk (thoughts): *It used to be about all about infiltration and espionage. Who added the bombs?*
urial angel of death

05-17-06, 09:12 PM		OOC: I looked at a d20 version of final fantasy. It was 95 pages long, and incredably over powered. Looking at Tifa's old stats, the only creatures she could kill would be an ochu and possibly a flan (this one would give her a hard time.) . Bombs are CR 18! A little bit of me died when reading that. :weep:
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-17-06, 09:14 PM		Reman Weascal is standing up at the stern of the Forgotten Freedom. Shortly a magebred eagle lands on the railing, allowing Reman to take the tube from its leg before departing. Reman opens the message tube, takes out the letter inside, and reads it. His face goes from puzzlement to confusion as he reads.

He intones words of lawyerspeak. What he sees confirms the letter.

He goes below deck to find Lisa.
***
Just as Lisa is preparing for prayer there is a knock at her door.

Lisa: Who is it? You better not be that Black Mage character.

Reman: It is I, Reman Weascal, ship’s lawyer.

Lisa: Am I being sued by the family of another demon?

Reman: It concerns St. Glazier’s in Silverfort. It’s very urgent. Of world-shattering importance.

Lisa gets up and opens the door.

Lisa: Can you be quick? I’m in the middle of something.

Reman: I have been corresponding with a colleague of mine in Flamekeep about the Keepers of the Silver Torch—

Lisa (knowing what sorts of stuff lawyers get up to): Look, they were a group of insane heretics—

Reman: —who made it their mission to search out lycanthropes among the worshippers of the Silver Flame, yes, I know. I also know that somehow they stole a piece of the Silver Flame and used it to burn their victims hoping it would only affect their lycanthropic natures. I wanted to see if any legal action had been taken against them, just in case we get into any lycanthrope-Thrannish conflicts. But all I got was this…

He hands her the letter. She scans it quickly, then rolls her eyes.

Lisa: Someone is obviously playing a joke on you. I was just there 10 days ago visiting a nun friend of mine.

Reman: I believe you. But immediately after I read this letter I said the words of vise mei (lit. “show me”), and got both a brief vision of its destruction and of the still lifeless crater the town is today. And you can’t lie to the fundamental nature of the universe.

Lisa is stunned silent for a moment, her face etched with horror and disbelief. But it soon turns into righteous anger. She picks up her hammer, swinging it menacingly.

Lisa: Whatever did this is going to pay. Come on! Let’s go see an über.
***
Lisa, Terra, and Reman are standing in Kithle’s lab. Sa’vor is busy making things for Slip. Kantash is in with Caralot. So that leaves either Terra or Kithle, and Terra found that her network believed the same thing as Reman’s colleague did, and she even sent some people to take a closer look at the remains. Meanwhile they hoped that Kithle could take a look into the past.

Kithle is silent for a while, his eyes registering a deep immersion in the stream of time.

Then his eyes begin to tear up. He starts a low whimpering. But soon it grows into a screaming wail.

Kithle: Why?! What is it about illithids?! Why can’t people accept us?! Why can’t they see that we that eating the brains of intelligent beings isn’t any different from eating meat?!

The wail lesser into sobs, and then into a depressed silence, before Kithle shakes his head and regains control.

Terra: Ah….

Kithle (jumping up): Incredible! The most marvelous form of mind control I’ve ever felt! It wasn’t magic, psionic……it just wasn’t ANYTHING but pure elemental emotion! I’ve been missing out on just eating brains.

Terra: It controlled you? If I were a lesser person who’d never met Igor I’d immediately dismiss that as impossible.

Kithle: Igor is exactly the way to put it. It’s like reading his mind, only more violent. There’s something existing beyond his consciousness that you can’t look at without thinking in terms that no one……well, maybe Jarlot could understand. It didn’t control so much as drowned me. It bypassed all my defenses by hijacking my immense and rapid multitasking thought stream and forcing me to confront it head on. It made me use my own power against myself. Oh, I know what to do next time—

Lisa: That’s all very interesting, but what did you see?

Kithle: Some………god-like?……creature killing people in the “cleansing” arena under the church. It had some way of killing people that involved terror……I think.

Terra: You think? *raises an eyebrow*

Kithle: Since trying to read its mind brought about that attack of emotion. It’s not like Kantash: it’s not insane. It’s……something else. Something worse.

****

Volrath is currently pining away over all the women he’s lost while having a drink at the bar. But his head shoots up when he hears his named screamed in the back of his mind. It sounds like the screams of his mother and sister.

“Volrath…”

Saberiel is the one currently working the bar as a favor to Erk.

Saberiel: You okay there, Volrath? Want me to call Cabin Boy over?

Volrath: What? Oh, n-n-no. I think I’ve had too much to drink.

Saberiel: But don’t you have some sort of—

Volrath makes tracks. He feels a small part of his mind slowly fill with all the terrible memories of people he’s hurt or seen hurt because of fear and hate. He knows he needs to find a place where the others can’t read his mind.

”Volrath, come with me!”

Volrath stops. He remembers that voice, the one that asked him what he’d do to get back his mother and sister, even his father.

Volrath: I remember. I remember. I want them back! Why were they taken from me?! I want them back. For them I’d do anything.

A black orb appears before him.

13: All I need is your misery, your desire to see them unhurt. With that I can destroy those that hurt them and set things back the way they were before.

The world around Volrath begins to shift, moving quickly backwards. The Forgotten Freedom disappears, and now they are moving over the land, which is changing below them. Volrath catches a brief flicker of a shrine up ahead before it is transformed into a column of crimson flame. In the area surrounding armored humanoids wage a fierce battle against demonic entities.

Their travel slowed. The crimson flame was before them, within a couatl and a rakshasa—oddly teenage-looking, with silver hair and silvery clothes “cool” clothes—locked in a deadly fight. As Volrath settled to the ground the rakshasa greatly wounded the couatl, which wrapped itself around the tiger-demon and bit down hard. Near to them stood an armored woman, someone tied to Dol Arrah by the look of it, readying her sword. Volrath knew that this had to be the moment when Tira Miron would leap in and bind them all with her sword.

Quicker than thought a black creature, a fox with a long tail, appeared in front of her face. The stood there, silent, for a heartbeat, yet it was as if 700 years had passed. Tira lowered her blade.

Couatl: Strike now, before he can free himself!

Tira’s face was a mask of utter defat.

Tira: I can’t hurt all those people.

Couatl: Many more will die if he is not stopped!

13: But it won’t be because of hate. That…I can live with.

OOC: Alright, urial, now you decide what happens.

****

A couple years in the past of the present, Jarlot is sneaking up a House Lyrandar tower to steal an airship (the going-to-be Forgotten Freedom). He is at the trickiest part of the infultration, sneaking past the guards in the break room, when something appears out of the air in front of him.

13: WHAT IS IT? WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DO NOT FEEL PAIN ON YOUR SHIP? I MUST KNOW NOW, BEFORE IT HAS A CHANCE TO HIDE ITSELF!

Jarlot: WTF? Man, you’re ruining my Move Silently—aw, Khyber.

Gaurds: Hey, you!

13 disappears as the guards rush over to seize Jarlot.

OOC: I thought I might take this opportunity to try and get Charles Phipps to reveal what happened the day Jarlot stole the FF.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-17-06, 09:24 PM		OOC: I looked at a d20 version of final fantasy. It was 95 pages long, and incredably over powered. Looking at Tifa's old stats, the only creatures she could kill would be an ochu and possibly a flan (this one would give her a hard time.) . Bombs are CR 18! A little bit of me died when reading that. :weep:

Well, duh. They had to give the monsters at least the illusion of a chance against Cloud Strife and Terra Branford, the most ultimate bada**es of all time. :D

And SilvercatMoonpaw, whatever it is you're up to, it promises to be quite interesting...
rampant

05-17-06, 09:29 PM		Satnak - AWWWWWWWWW BLOODY **** ****ING MOL!!! THe time stream dammit soemone fracked the time stream this bad very bad. I'm calling for help, this is bad, bad bad bad badbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbad. ..etc.

Lisa - Satnak's scared not a good sign.

Terra - We're in deep.

Kithle - If I was a lesser mortal I would need new pants. As it is I hope the traps on the commodes don't take too long to disarm.


--------------
The problem with most conversions with video games is a tendency to get lost in the details of the mechanics. Trying to set up a world for adventurers like Sqaull or Cloud is difficult, because most of these guys are starting with powers akin to that of middle to high level gestalt classes. I find its better to just make cosmetic alterations. Calling the psion a black mage goes a lot farther than most people think.
urial angel of death

05-17-06, 09:45 PM		What does 13's last line mean? Oh shoot got to go. Can't finish tonight, sorry.
Crystalforged

05-17-06, 11:47 PM		At work tonight I came up with a name for the Kanatash and Carlot's creatures...



From Encyclopedia Aberrantia

Taxonomy: Cthuhl-Ursis Soulsapius
Common Name: Soulsnuggle
Other Names: Scare Bear
Description: More commonly simple refered to as a "snuggle", this is a terrifying beast of recent origin. It has the appearance of a two foot tall teddy bear coming a variety of colors and it has a rainbow like symbol in pastel colors upon its stomach. It's most disturbing feature however is the dead, glossed over look it has in its eyes. This is the result of the fact that this creature lacks a true soul and has only a poor proximily.

This creature's abilities include the power to erase the knowledge of its prescence from the minds of others, effectively making it invisible. It can also use its "stare" ability to project a ray from the symbol on it's stomach that can influence, disrupt, or even control the minds of other in various ways. It's most notable power however is its ability to extend a number of tentacles from its mouth which it uses to restrain its target. It then forces the creature to look upon it's stomach symbol as it suck the soul from its victem to temporarily fill the void within itself. The victem then becomes a near mindless thrall to the the soulsnuggle and the creature itself is empowered by the soul and recieves a measure of healing. The creature actually derives its common name from this ability because of the way it tenderly embraces its victems while it draws the essence of their lives from them.

The behavior of a soulsnuggle is best described as apathetic. They feel no emotions other than a dry, insatiable hunger for souls to ease temporarily the pain of its soulless existance. The beast possesses a great measure of natural cunning but is in fact barely sapient, relying heavily on the guidance of it's master, if any.

The body of a soulsnuggle appears solid but in truth is formed mainly of a spongy, foamlike material. This makes the creature abnomally light and soft as well as allowing it to take brutal physcial blows without any inconvenience. The phrase "It's snuggly soft," has in fact come to be used to describe the ability of other creatures absorb blows with without suffering serious harm.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-18-06, 12:47 AM		:heehee I think the company that makes the Carebears may have a viable copyright infrigement lawsuit.

IC:

Jarlot, Muradin, Marish, and Ketler are sitting around a table in the mess hall. Even for this ship, the sight is odd. Muradin floats, crosslegged, about two feet off the floor without the aid of magic with a serene look on his face. Ketler is hanging from the ceiling by his bare feet. Jarlot has a wrench in his hand and is staring at it intently. Marish, though seemingly the most normal, is acting jittery.

Jarlot: (to the wrench) C'mon...bend. Rubber spoon, rubber spoon, rubber spoon...

Muradin: Captain, it is not he spoon you wish to bend, but the will of the spoon.

Marish: Ketler, how are you staying up there?

Ketler: (matter of factly) I dug my toes into the ceiling. (begins doing crunches)

Jarlot: (still staring at the wrench) That's nothing! Watch my tele-ka-whatsit powers!

He continues staring at the the wrench, chanting his 'rubber spoon' mantra, until the vessels in his head start to bulge. He grunts from effort and frustration.

Marish: Give me that!

She pulls the wrench from his hands and bends it in half.

Jarlot: Hey!

Muradin: When will you learn that violence is not the answer?

Marish: Shut up!

Jarlot: Muradin. Float your a** over here and magic me up another wrench.

Ketler: I have the energy of a bear, that has the energy of two bears!

Across the room, Terra, Volrath, and Nalfein watch the bizzare display while eating popcorn.

Volrath: Whatever you did, it's funny as hell.

Terra: Why, thank you.

Nalfein: See, this is why I don't trust anything you give me.

Terra: Probably a wise choice.

OOC: For some reason, I see Captain Jarlot as a younger version of Captain Murphy from Sealab. Probably the fact that they're both stark raving mad.
Albert

05-18-06, 01:25 AM		Okay, this takes place right after:

Kithle: Since trying to read its mind brought about that attack of emotion. It’s not like Kantash: it’s not insane. It’s……something else. Something worse.

(Right now, Lisa, Terra, and Kithle are in his lab. Everyone else is elsewhere.)

"Something worse, yes," Aerith says, crossly.

"Aerith? How'd you get here so quickly?" Lisa asks.

"And since when do you involve yourself in anything real, b***h?" Terra demands.

"Since it involves the corruption of a Church set up by my side. And I'm aware of pretty much everything that goes on here, Lisa."

"On the Forgotten Freedom?"

"No. On Eberron." She looks at their faces, and sighs. "I am tens of billions of years old, children. Mortals tend to rocket past those of us who were made instead of born, but I have been learning and growing for a very long time, even by immortal standards. I have access to more spatial dimensions than this reality acknowledges, and my awareness is vast."

Kithle scratches a face-tenticle. "You're stronger than a normal Solar Deva, aren't you? That's why you're so sure your 'Veil' will hold against almost everyone on board."

Aerith nods. "That and my powers are bolstered by divine will. I must admit I was surprised that he did not have adequate mental screens up to keep you out."

Kithle snorts. "What are you talking about? I scanned your mind, not his."

Aerith lifts an eyebrow and smiles, slightly.

"I'm serious. Your mind is completely open, divine b***h!"

Her voice is gently amused. "You are welcome back any time you wish to enter, Kithle."

He flinches ever so slightly.

Lisa, wide-eyed, utterly fascinated: "Aerith? What happens when someone tries to scan your mind?"

"Brianna insists on showing visitors around, that's all."

"What's so bad about that?"

Kithle snarls. "You shouldn't have to ask! Syrupy, sugary, insipid little beast!"

Aerith laughs, joyfully, gently. "The Newly Blessed take a while to acclimate to the harmonies of Heaven. Brianna is getting a head start as a result of my association with her. Dealing with her involves tolerance and patience when serious matters must be attended to."

Lisa, slightly appalled: "So when I die, I'm going to act like Bri for a few - what? Years? Decades? Centuries?"

"You're a Paladin, dear one. Circumstances are a bit different. Why don't we talk about that later? I have a pep talk and a sermon to deliver."

Kithle: "Don't want to hear it."

Aerith: "You are welcome to leave if you insist. But the sermon's for Lisa, not you. And this won't take long."

Kithle: "Fine, just get it over with."

Aerith: "As you wish. Lisa, the Silver Flame is tainted with corruption. This corruption results in hatred, which only spreads the evil within the Silver Flame."

Lisa: "I know the relevant scriptures."

Aerith: "Good. Because of that, virtually every priest and paladin of the Silver Flame has become tainted with evil. Unacceptably so."

Kithle: "Oh, this is amusing. Hey, Sa'vor? Are you paying any attention to this?"

Sa'vor: (Off elsewhere, communicating telepathically) *Yes, a bit. Get her to say how many paladins and priests have been stripped of their vocation for this 'taint'.*

Aerith: "Few. Most act in good faith, and so Heaven does not break faith with them."

Lisa, horrified: "You're talking about the weres and so forth. They were innocent all along?"

Aerith: "Innocent is a deceptive term. You yourself lost your innocence on your third birthday, when you hit your cousin for the fun of seeing him cry. They are dangeous - driven by urges that have been muted in humanity. But they are not damned. They are capable of self-control."

Lisa gulps: "Then why do we kill them?"

Aerith grimaces. "A caution was given - humans should be careful in dealing with them - but it was changed by a later leader of the Church. "

Kithle: "Excuse me. We have a wildly dangerous, worse-than-insane force running around, and you want to talk about how your Church sucks?"

Aerith: "I'm not here to help with the Being. The Cosmic Horror I guard against is Dark Jarlot. I'm not supposed to run this world for you."

Kithle: "Why not?"

Aerith: "I'm sorry?"

Kithle: "Why aren't you going to run the world? I'm grateful, because I wouldn't want to live under your rules, but why not?"

Aerith shrugs: "That's what freedom is about."

Sa'vor (still telepathically): *Freedom. Bah! That's just a word you use so you don't have to get involved when people are miserable.*

Aerith: "Sa'vor, I know where to place a filament of wire in someone's brain so that as long as there's a tiny trickle of lightning going down that wire, the person in question is literally as happy as they can be. I also know the right alchemy to make a small box that will store and steadily release the right amount of lightning to make this work. Would you like me to do that for you?"

Sa'vor: *No. It wouldn't be real.*

Aerith: "Heaven is very nearly omnipotent. If happiness were the fundamental point of Good, every living creature would have something like that filament in their heads. We are about freedom, which is far more dangerous.

"In any event. Lisa."

Lisa: "Yes?"

Aerith: "This rot has extended to everyone of the Silver Flame. Even you."

Lisa: *face turns white* "I - we're going to fall, aren't we? The Silver Flame, I mean."

Aerith, gently: "No. Not yet. Even if things continue as they are, it will be generations before you do more bad than good. But you have purged yourself, Lisa."

Lisa: "I what?"

Aerith: "You have spent most of a decade here, in this depraved society. You have learned to tolerate. Equally importantly, you have not abandoned your calling. It is a delicate and difficult balance. To know that someone will do wrong, and respect their freedom to do so. To respect another's freedom to make her own way, without fooling yourself into thinking that wrong and false actions are true and right."

Lisa: "Um. I think you see more than is there."

Aerith: "No. I see truly, great-heart. You are the only follower of the Silver Flame who is not under condemnation." She giggles for a moment, reverting to Brianna. "It's good that Jaela looks up to you!"

Lisa: "Wait a moment - what's going to happen to Jaela? What's going to happen to me?"

Brianna: "We get to teach her! Won't that be wonderful."

Lisa: "You brought her here, didn't you?"

Aerith nods: "In one of the unused extra-spatial loci. It is sealed as well as she will allow. She won't be able to stay all the time, of course. She has a Church to lead. But we - and I mean mostly you and Brianna - must see to it that she learns the same balance you have, Lisa."

Lisa: "What about Ketler?"

Aerith: "Has anyone ever managed to hurt me? Jaela will be at least as 'lucky'." *pause* "Of course, all this assumes you will survive unscathed. That's not a given. Good luck on that."

And she turns, steps, and disappears.
Charles Phipps

05-18-06, 01:50 AM		OOC: For some reason, I see Captain Jarlot as a younger version of Captain Murphy from Sealab. Probably the fact that they're both stark raving mad.

Well in a surprising twist, the Forgotten Freedom (in my homebrew RPG), Jarlot is actually much older and the senile Captain of the ship IN FACT based on Captain Murphy. Some elements of other characters of mine have since creeped in but this thread is based on Sealab style humor.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-18-06, 01:53 AM		OOC: That's awesome. I'll have to keep that in mind for later. :D

Ok, here it is. Again...

IC:

Terra: I must say I'm impressed with the Deva.

Lisa: Why? I thought you hated her.

Terra: Oh, I do. But after that little speech, I guess it's more just annoyance. I always pegged her as the goody-goody who refuses to see anything but the good in people.

Lisa: Isn't that kind of a positive thing?

Terra: You only get part of the story by seeing things that way. To really understand someone, you must be willing to see both the good and the bad. Many people consider themselves good because they destroy evil. What they don't realize, and many times choose not to see, is that they are often perpetrating the very same evil in the process. You would be hard pressed to find something that p*sses me off more than using self-righteousness to justify undeserved cruelty and hate.

Lisa: How is that any different from evil?

Terra: Evil doesn't delude itself into thinking it's good. I do many things which are evil, but I never claim such actions are good. People who consider themselves good tend to be able to justify any evil act as long as they feel the end result is good. Evil people often fool others into this fallacy, but fooling themselves into it is unique to good.

Lisa: So it's more of a hypocracy issue?

Terra: In a way. Would you like to know why I chose evil?

Lisa: Sure.

Terra: My adoptive mother was murdered by roving mercenaries about 150 years ago. I could do nothing but watch as they slaughtered her before my eyes. I shudder to think of what they would have done had they discovered me. I chose then and there to do anything it took to prevent such a thing from ever happening to anyone I cared for again.

Lisa: But, that would seem to lead you to good...

Terra: Remember, I said anything. My mother was good, truly good, and I couldn't bear to do anything bad while comparing myself to her. I couldn't, no, wouldn't sully her name. So I chose the path such things are expected on.

Lisa: That sounds strangely noble...

Terra: Why not? Evil can be noble in it's own way. I run an underground empire based on the trafficing of drugs, yet I refuse to force anyone to buy what I sell. If they want it, they have to come to me. I have rather strict penalties in place for anyone who tries to push, or who tries to sell to someone underage.

Lisa: Like what?

Terra: It's better if you don't know. Suffice it to say, I do what I must to keep my people in line. I have increased the severity only when the actions of the perpetrators show my current one is not enough. I do not, however, dole out punishments indescriminantly. Anyone who works for me knows what I want and what will happen if they break the rules. If they choose to ignore my orders, that is their own fault.

Lisa: How is this preventing suffering, or bringing you closer to your goal?

Terra: If you go back and check out records on the black market, you'll find that it has calmed down quite a lot since I came to power. It was a world of petty turf wars, pointless slaughter, and full of thugs who'd do anything for profit. It spilled out onto the streets constantly, forcing innocent families to face great danger. I have curtailed it, making it as close to a world of its own that is possible. I channel the energy of the outcasts I hire, using it in more constructive ways.

Lisa: So, by doing something obviously evil, you're helping to prevent further evil? Again, how is this different than those you hate?

Terra: I don't pretend what I do is good. I don't claim the moral high ground because of my alignment. I fight for it, show that my actions are truly better than the alternatives. Whether others see it is up to them. For example, what I'm doing with the underground is less evil than destroying it. Any attempt to do so would result in a power vacuum. Think of the slaughter, the urban warfare would lead from house to house. It would destroy each nation in a bloodbath unrivaled since the Last War, and possibly surpass it.

Lisa: I see your point, it's just...hard to accept. Doing the right thing leads to horrific evil, while doing the wrong thing leads to some measure of good...

Terra: I wish there were easier answers myself. Better ways of doing things. I don't believe it is impossible to live the way you do without being a hypocryte, you have shown me this. I just can't be so idealistic. In a way, I envy you for that.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-18-06, 01:58 AM		OOC: And, here's this one too...

IC:

Marish: You know, Terra, I overheard your little speech about good and evil, and something was bothering me.

Terra: Yeah?

Marish: You said you never forced anyone to take what you make, but you spike the food here regularly.

Terra: I think you forgot about the contract. It spells it out pretty clearly.

Marish: What contract?

Terra: You know, the one Captain Jarlot had everyone sign after I came on board...

Marish: :confused:

Terra: The one he said you had to sign or you couldn't eat...

Marish: :thinks:

Terra: It was pink...

Marish: :lightbulb Oh, the pretty pink one! I didn't read it.

Terra: You're kidding me.

Marish: No. The Captain said I should sign it, so I did!

Terra: *sigh* I can see why Andrea has so much trouble with you...
rampant

05-18-06, 03:15 AM		Satnak - (In her room in the Keep, imagine large luxurious bedroom, with a blue motiff.) Ok who to call Rixle hasn't graduated yet, and Telfon hates fighting. I've got some dirt on Illis, yeah he loves smashing big heads. Better ask Forbes for some advice, if this thing wields emotion as a weapon, well despite how much I dislike him Forbes is the formost empathy wielder. I was hoping to see Levy, but I can't waste a consult on a visit right now, empaths and time travelers are Forbes's thing.

(centers as her calling crystal begins to glow) Hey Willy.

Illis - eh? coffee?

Satnak - Yeah, geuss what I got a time runner and I need some here.

Illis - If you want my help use my real name. Illis, there is no W you toad.

Satnak - Oh, but Willy then I might let slip that little incident with Dol Arrah's panties and the chocolate sauce to your little cleric girlfirend what was her name? Lilly.

Illis - We were trying to prank the *****, for trying to stop me from seeing Lilly. Plus you set me up.

Satnak - You can't prove a thing, I on the other hand have recordings.

Illis - Your worse than Forbes somedays.

Satnak - Your just sore you can't ever win one against me. HOw dissapointed were you when you realized that I was still alive?

Illis - Coulda been worse, I did bet on your survival just incase you did. I figured the money would console me If you were still kicking, and if you weren't then it was worth it.

Satnak - :rolleyes: Oh I'm just feeling the love. GEt over here you little good-for-nothing, and bring Forbes I'm callling in a consult, you know how these timers are always making bigger messes than first believed.
Charles Phipps

05-18-06, 05:21 AM		OOC: Here's a short interlude of how Jarlot appears on the real Forgotten Freedom (though I think ours is the REAL one to be honest)

Jarlot: Okay folks, time to discuss some new...

*An Aged Cyrean Admiral walks on deck in full uniform*

Jarlot Sr: HI SON!

Jarlot: What the...hell?

Jarlot Sr: I'm Admiral Jarlot son! Don't you remember! I turned the ship over to you when I retired. I need to talk to you about where exactly we need to put the Pro Shop onboard.

Jarlot: The Pro-Shop?

Jarlot Sr.: Well of course, for the golfing of the guests when we dock in port!

Jarlot: We're NOT A CRUISE SHIP!

Jarlot Sr: Hell no we're not unless we have a pro-shop!

Jarlot: Oh...I thought they'd never let you out of the asylum.

Jarlot Sr: I just thought I'd check out to take a nice relaxing stroll on my old vessel. The crew is a lot better behaved than I remember it being....

Jarlot: We're the most murderous gang of cuttthroats on the planet.

Jarlot Sr: You've been too soft on them son. Unless you crack the whip now and then you won't ever make it to being Captain of your own vessel.

Jarlot: I'M ALREADY CAPTAIN!

Jarlot Sr: You there! The obvious poofter from Aundair.

Kanatash: Are you referring to me?

Jarlot Sr: I can smell the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Blood in you. You damn Aundarians think just because you have better wine than everyone else, easier girls, and that big freaking Tower that you can walk all over us Brelish.

Kanatash: First of all, I'm not from Aundair and any idiot could see that...next...you're Cyrean...and..

*SLAP*

Kanatash: You just...slapped me.

Jarlot Sr: Yeah and that'll teach you for being a coward in my navy! We're going to take that god damned hill.

Kanatash: I don't believe I'm asking YOU of all people but what the hell is he talking about?

Jarlot Sr: You coward! I said we're taking that god damned hill!

Jarlot: He...relives...his war years on occasion.

Kanatash: I don't think you take hills in the NAVY.

Jarlot Sr: *hits a gong* Alright, all of the crew on deck. I have an announcement to make!

Jarlot: Oh hell.

Jarlot Sr:First of all. I know most of you haven't seen your families since our five year mission to boldly go where no man has gone before started.

Ketler: :OMG!

Jarlot Sr: To seek out new life...new civilizations. That damned Harry Mudd and his tribbles, the Romulans, Spock and his mating fervor....it's all been pretty much downhill since we let the Krebs in Starfleet.

Ketler: Hey! I'm Krebbish!

Jarlot Sr: Oh go play with your candlebra and little wooden top!

Jarlot: *puts his hand to his face* Oh God, he's like this at parties too.

Jarlot Sr: but I see a whole ARMY of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny.

Crew: :mymy:

Jarlot Sr: But those communists will NEVER take over the glorious lands of Karrnath! We will fight them on the beaches and in the streets and we will never...surrender.

*holds his vest like Churchill*

Jarlot Sr: Thank you.

Crew: *stunned* :clap:

Jarlot Sr: So, where's this beautiful Aerith that you've been telling me about?

Jarlot: Uhhh....

Jarlot Sr: Oh there she is!

*steps over to Terra*

Jarlot Sr: Good breeding legs on this one.

*whomps her posterior*

*ignores the sight of Terra being kept by Aerith and Lisa from immense druidic violence*

Jarlot Sr: Now as Admiral of this ship I declare you two MARRIED!

Jarlot: Uhhhhh.....huh.

Jarlot Sr: So Dol Dorn will stop frowning on all this sinning! Don't think I don't know what goes on a ship in the Navy between ports. It's buggery, rum, and the lash! Turn away from the love of your fellow man my son!

Jarlot: Sir half of the crew is women...

Jarlot Sr: That's what they LOOK like but some poor blokes in denial tend to take up dressing as them. *gives Andrea the eye*

Jarlot: Right...now what do I have to do to make you leave?

Jarlot Sr: I forget why I was here. Oh well.

*tosses some yarn that Marish plays with*

*Jarlot meanwhile makes some calls to get some men in white coats to pick him up*
rampant

05-18-06, 06:02 AM		Kithle - First off I contest the aforementioned marriage on grounds of no liscense, I knew that stupid law would come in handy some day thanks Weascle.

Reamen - Welcome

Jarlot Sr. - Jumped the gun A bit then didn't lets go get that...

Kithle - Hold it, Aerith is over there (points)

Aerith - Kithle you bastard.

Kithle - Thats what they call me. Now Admiral let me explain, this is the main ship the Forgotten Freedom. The proshop goes on the other vessel off to port the Forgotten Freedom II. Also Your son has been promoted to Commodore by virtue of Commanding a "fleet".

Jarlot Sr. - Well My boy you make an old man proud. (hug)

Jarlot - Bastard (glares at Kithle)

Kithle - :D

Sa'vor - He's enjoying this immensly.

Kanatash - Must resist urge to inflict citrusy vengeance in front of witnesses.

Kithle - Finally This a privateer fleet loosely associated with the brelish crown by virtue of of the king being an old drinking buddy. I would advise you not to touch the females as they are some of the most dangerous people on board, dealing with the number of horny goons that make up the rest of the crew. Now if you would like a tour of the ships Mrs. Greyholme will see to everything.

Old Dwarf lady - O your the Commodores father. You simply must meet Feal'theas he was born on this ship he's and the rest of that charming Sa'vors kids are just nuts about anything to do with armies and navies and such. Such avid little scholars, I think they get it from their mother's side Sa'vor himself is much more of the philosopher type don't you think. That Slip woman is such a good influenceon him, She's the pilot. Too bad they won't settle down, imagine all those kids and no ring.

Sa'vor - :embarrass KITHLE STOP HER PLEASE.

Slip - She's right dear its about time I made an honest man out of you ;) .

Sa'vor - Gah! (runs and hides)

Aerith - Not so much fun to be on the recieving end! is it dragon-boy?

Jarlot Sr. - Let us be off then Milady.

Old dwarf lady - What a gentlemen, reminds me of that Norbaz character, he's the cook. Now there is a proper courtship. love letters and everything...

The two dissapear around a corner.

Jarlot - That was the most amazing display of being bastard I've ever seen kithle. Here is a plaque.

It reads " KITHLE YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD " .

Jarlot - Now keel haul his ass!!

Crew - Yes Sir!

Kithle - Worth it!! :D
urial angel of death

05-18-06, 07:21 AM		:heehee I think the company that makes the Carebears may have a viable copyright infrigement lawsuit.

IC:

Jarlot, Muradin, Marish, and Ketler are sitting around a table in the mess hall. Even for this ship, the sight is odd. Muradin floats, crosslegged, about two feet off the floor without the aid of magic with a serene look on his face. Ketler is hanging from the ceiling by his bare feet. Jarlot has a wrench in his hand and is staring at it intently. Marish, though seemingly the most normal, is acting jittery.

Jarlot: (to the wrench) C'mon...bend. Rubber spoon, rubber spoon, rubber spoon...

Muradin: Captain, it is not he spoon you wish to bend, but the will of the spoon.

Marish: Ketler, how are you staying up there?

Ketler: (matter of factly) I dug my toes into the ceiling. (begins doing crunches)

Jarlot: (still staring at the wrench) That's nothing! Watch my tele-ka-whatsit powers!

He continues staring at the the wrench, chanting his 'rubber spoon' mantra, until the vessels in his head start to bulge. He grunts from effort and frustration.

Marish: Give me that!

She pulls the wrench from his hands and bends it in half.

Jarlot: Hey!

Muradin: When will you learn that violence is not the answer?

Marish: Shut up!

Jarlot: Muradin. Float your a** over here and magic me up another wrench.

Ketler: I have the energy of a bear, that has the energy of two bears!

Across the room, Terra, Volrath, and Nalfein watch the bizzare display while eating popcorn.

Volrath: Whatever you did, it's funny as hell.

Terra: Why, thank you.

Nalfein: See, this is why I don't trust anything you give me.

Terra: Probably a wise choice.

OOC: For some reason, I see Captain Jarlot as a younger version of Captain Murphy from Sealab. Probably the fact that they're both stark raving mad.

OOC: How did Volrath get there? He's some hundred years in the past.

IC: Vivi: We all know the real reason, the monsters in FF d20 were so strong. It was so the could atleast keep up the illusion of danger for me.
Terra: Sure. (rolls eyes)
Vivi: I could level several continents before the age of ten. I weild power drawn up from the very lay lines of the cosmos. Also I didn't learn magic from your precious materia or espers. It was all me.
Terra: You learned magic from little sticks.
Vivi: Shut-up :weep:
rampant

05-18-06, 07:25 AM		You know you don't have to quote the whole post.

-----------------------------------------------

John - You know usualy they think their through more than this.

Kithle - The secret is to get them riled up enough.

John - You know the corrosion will take weeks to fix.

Kithle - THats why they call me a bastard.

John - I hate polymorph ooze.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-18-06, 07:30 AM		Aerith: "Innocent is a deceptive term. You yourself lost your innocence on your third birthday, when you hit your cousin for the fun of seeing him cry. They are dangeous - driven by urges that have been muted in humanity. But they are not damned. They are capable of self-control."
***
In the time stream of the present, the thirteenth moon begins to vibrate. All those who even posses the tiniest piece of the blood of the Mark of Death feel a shudder in the universe, as if knowing that some great god has decided to doom the world to suffering.

13: No! Not there. I know what I seek is there. But now there is hate. Before all I felt was…………Now…something stifles it.

The thirteenth moon shoots out of the sky directly for the surface of Eberron. It begins to change into its smaller fox form.

13: I cannot let it be stifled. I must destroy all those who fear, who hate, who cause suffering to others.

It aims itself directly for the Forgotten Freedom. A wave of emotion spreads out before it.

13: I must protect……………………reality.
urial angel of death

05-18-06, 07:40 AM		Tira Miron hefts her sword.The determination had finally come to her. She was going to end this once and for all. Suddenly she feel a sharp pain in her lower back. Looking down she sees a blade, made of bone, protruding from her gut. One moment later another bite through her neck. As her head falls it sees what killed her, an adolesent boy. They bone blades were growing from his finger tips. As the last bits of life drained from her she thought, "After all this, I'm killed by a child."

Within the crimson flame, the rakshasa grabs hold, its couatl attacker. Only to let go as an eldritch blast rips through its torso. The rakshasa falls, next to its opponent. Both itself and the couatl wounded beyond hope. He sees the same boy that killed Tira Miron, look down at him. The boy begins preparing another eldritch blast. Just before the boy fires, he says, "You're weaker than I remember." With that both couatl and rakshasa are consumed in a explosion of dark energy.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-18-06, 07:51 AM		The entity's voice seems a bit calmer now, as if many of the once tortured people have found peace.

13: It's odd. She still wished to create a church that she now knew would harm others. (he turns to Volrath) Originally I did not intend to kill her. I actually thought if she only saw how much more pain her actions would cause…what I fool I was. One more illusion has been stripped away.

The world around Volrath shifts much more quickly this time, and he is back on the Forgotten Freedom. The entity that brought took him into the past is nowhere to be seen. Yet he can still hear it in the back of his mind.

13: The church is no more.………I will be on your ship shortly.

OOC: Urial, can you delete your über-long quote of me. It just takes up too much space.
Albert

05-18-06, 08:31 AM		Aerith: (annoyed, thinking to herself) "Well, there's the first change. If he keeps this up I may be out of a job here. Hmmm . . . I wonder if my application for a new Creation would be accepted early?"
rampant

05-18-06, 08:46 AM		Over the ocean a storm of proportions previously undreamed is brewing. In the Eye Hovers the FF.

Slip - THis is bad even here in the eye thw inds are causing trouble.

Sa'vor - Whats going on?

Satnak - Willy loves an entrance.

Terra - Willy?

A rift appears in space time and a Howling gale rushes forth. Racing along its currents a figure in crystal boots and Eclectic clothing bearing a hurricane tatoo across his face and neck is visible.

Illis - Behold the wrath of the Skyride Berserker, tremble before the awesome might of the hurricane rider.

Satnak - Shut your wind hole and get on deck before Forbes decides to smack ya for grandstanding.

The next person through the rift is a much more conservative one. Normal, albiet high quality adventuring clothes, with a tatoo of two serpent dragons coiling around his left arm (one blue one green).

Forbes - I would like to apologize for Illis, he tends to fall into the trap of trying to intimidate people by out grandstanding the villians. Enough with the storm.

The titanic hurricane begins to settle.

Kithle - Intruiging is that stormfront roiling.

Illis - Yeah these marks tend to move. One of the ways you can tell its part of our school and not just random Body art.

Forbes - I hear you have an empath wielding time jumper.

Satnak - Yes I can feel the time stream twisting around itself, the temporal buffers around the ship aren't gonna last much longer. Never did get the hang of chono-manipulation beyond basic accel/deccel.

Forbes - Well the first thing to remember with empaths is they're usually nuttier than a squirrel's stash. Using feelings like that always backlashes on the user. I should know. Chrono abusers are also vulnerable to mental attacks that come from the time stream. Anti-precog manuevers tend to screw em over. Also Find some way of dealing with their ability to move through time so they can't escape/evade using their normal moves. Well the rest should be covered by what you know already.

Satnak - Yeah thanks, I'll get working on a suppresor Meld/power and a tracer just in case, where'd my giunea pig go?

Illis - Hey boss man lets go we're done here right?

Forbes - I am, your staying until the situation is reolved.

Illis - She's gonna use me as her experiment monkey again isn't she?

Forbes - You two have the highest team scores in your year, your powers and specializations are a perfect match. I don't really care if you despise her you two do great work. Its like a pair of siblings you've spent so much time fighting you can't help but cover each others' weaknesses and strengths when forced to work to gether.

Forbes exits through the portal which quickly sputters out.

Illis - Well lets see the first draft of the tracer good thing I brought my lab gear.

Illis Barbarian 10 / Frenzied berzerk7 / Wilder 17 / Elocater 5 + his boots act as a sort of soardisk allowing ulimited flight. Illis Primarily relies on speed and power most of his powers increase mobility in some fashion. He possess several item creation feats as well.
urial angel of death

05-18-06, 08:49 AM		Volrath: Shouldn't there be a paradox created by this?
Aerith: In a way there is. Time travel is exempt from the time flow. So even if you eleminate the porpose you had for going to the past your, trip and action will still happen. Only those with minds that transend time will notice the difference. Only Sa'vor, myself, Kanatash, and you realise the world ever had a Silver Flame. Kithle doesn't quite have enough magic yet, but he may realise later. You probably wouldn't have remebered, but you took were the one who traveled back in time.
Volrath: What about Jaela and Lisa?
Aerith: They are now followers of the Soveriegn Host. Jaela is still a prophet and Lisa is still a paladin.
Volrath: Where is my family? Why am I still apart of the Forgotten Freedom?
Aerith: I don't know. :confused:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-18-06, 10:51 AM		OOC: How did Volrath get there? He's some hundred years in the past.

Look at the title. I was just screwing around. Time line doesn't count for much when we do that. :D

On a related note, I have no idea where to go from here. Messing with the time stream has always freaked me out. Paradoxes suck. :)

One last thing. That was hilarious, Charles Phipps. Though I'm not convinced even they could keep Terra back after that... :devil:
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-18-06, 01:11 PM		Slip stands at the helm steering the ship while Sa'vor stands nearby keeping an eye out for any irregularities in the time stream

Sa'vor: Gah, i hate time travellers. they always screw everything up.

Slip: you can jump through time at will, so your just as bad.

Sa'vor: actually im nowhere near as bad. i keep to whats meant to happen, i dont edit or muck with it. i only use time travel as a last resort.

Slip: still. you going back in time to prepare to save me would of damaged the time line

Sa'vor: No, it wouldnt. i was meant to do that.

Slip: so everythings planned out?

Sa'vor: there are infintine possibilities but theres a basic plan for each universe, the universe creates the situations and the person chooses in what he or she deems free will. but actualy this universe is created to create that choice. there might be a universe in which I chose the path of light. and you see how well that turned out.

Slip: i know. your much better looking, he was far too holy.

Sa'vor: *stops for a moment* . well, anyway. changes in the plan can happen, usualy the universe sorts itself out but now.... well, we have a rogue time jumper. someone who shouldnt have that kind of power.i was born into the role, my job is to make sure you all make the choices your supposed to.

Slip: *turns round* so, we where meant to be together?

Sa'vor: in this universe yes.

Slip: so there was no choice in the matter

Sa'vor: actualy you did have a choice. you chould have not chosen me, that would have been a tiny change.

Slip: you havnt infulence me in anyway have you? *slightly cross*

Sa'vor: i havnt had to influence any of the crew in anyway.

Slip: but if you had to?

Sa'vor: hypertheticaly if you where say suppposed to break up with me and fall in love with someone else . and the future had been changed so that certain river of time hadnt happened then yes i would have to set it on its appropriate direction

Slip: even if i didnt whant to ?

Sa'vor: if someone had messed with time so much that it wouldnt happen then yes i would have to

Slip: but what about if i had CHOSE to stay with you without any inflence or editing of the timestream

Sa'vor: then i wouldnt have to change anything. you had chosen different then you where supposed to but it was a free choice without any tampering then i wouldnt have to infulence or edit that choice.

Slip: but that means we all have very limited freedom!

Sa'vor: i know.

Slip: *face brightens* then that means you can see the future!

Sa'vor: to a limited degree

Slip: then what can you tell me?

Sa'vor: *slight smile* i cant

Slip: why?

Sa'vor: once again. i would be influencing the timestream. i cant do that.

Slip: thats not fair. so you would know how you would die? or i would die?

Sa'vor: yes.

Slip: how long before it happened?

Sa'vor: about a year

Slip: see any deaths on the horizon

Sa'vor: time can still be damaged. it can change direction irreparibly. thats why unlicenced time jumpers are so dangerous. they dont know that they shouldnt,or they belive their all powerful * his face darkens*

Slip: what? whats wrong?

Sa'vor: he's just stopped the mourning.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-18-06, 01:31 PM		Sa'vor: He just stopped the Mourning.
OOC: Don'te tempt me. :devil:

IC: Volrath, satisfied at least that the Silver Flame is no more, goes back to the upper decks. He decides to see what Lisa is like as a worshipper of Dol Arrah. Unfortunately it seems that most of the decks are deserted. He finally sees Bolt-Tooth Tony lugging a huge crossbow behind a hastily erected barricade in main corridor leading to the deck hatch.

Volrath: Yo, Tony—

Bolt-Tooth (trembling slightly): What ya still doin’ down here, ya daft wanker? The captn’s ordered all ya blasters up on deck!

Volrath hurriedly complies. There is some sort of vibe in the air, making him his emotions at a heightened level. He leaps the final steps up to the main deck.

Kithle: Oh, so Mr. “I’m a scared little boy trapped in the body of a horrible aberration” has decided to help out? I’m surprised you aren’t curled up somewhere crying over your mommy.

Terra: Hey, don’t talk to him that way!

Terra raises a hand to fire a bolt at Kithle, but Lisa smashes her hammer into Terra’s head.

Lisa: Oh, and you think just because you’re enlightened evil you can tell other people what to do?

Volrath stares at Lisa. The paladin is still wearing the emblem of the Silver Flame.

Volrath: What in Khyber is going on here? What the :censored: is that :censored: still doing wearing that :censored: flame? I just killed Tira Miron!

Lisa (turning on Volrath): You did WHAT? Oh, that’s IT! (she whips out an obviously not-mercy longsword) All of you evil spawn are going down! I’ve never liked any of you anyway!

Terra: So all that time you were just using me?

Lisa (smirking): I would think you’d appreciate me not hiding anymore.

Kithle shakes his head violently. Something about this scene seems familiar.

Kithle: Sa’vor! I thought the shield could hold this!

Sa’vor: One. (he points over at a floating Kantash) I think he’s dead. Something about this entity is countering his insanity-based nature like and anti-magic field.

The words “countering insanity” run through Kithle’s mind, but he still can’t get a grip on the thought.

Sa’vor: Two, this thing can move through time. We can only project enough shield to cover NOW. Where’s it’s getting through in the past and the future.

Kithle: Well let’s hope Satnak’s friend can so something with his chrono shields.
****
The wave of emotion finally hits the Forgotten Freedom. Fortunately the übers have shored up the psionic shield so it deflects the shock…just barely. The air around the ship begins to gain a modicum of sentience, and the crew is forced to battle creatures that are less than elementals but more than living spells.

The creature, the thirteenth moon, 13, lands among them. The deck begins to warp beneath its paws. The air creatures dissolve, only to be replaced by being of projected emotion drawn from the minds of the crew.

Terra aims a blast at 13, but Sa’vor grabs her hand.

Sa’vor: I tried that once. Kithle thinks that its anger keeps it intact. Pure force of will. Until we can affect its—AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Sa’vor falls over from the flood of evil thoughts. Every memory of someone he hurt comes back to him all at once. He is made to relive their memories one after another, from their point of view, with every stab of pain, real or emotional, emphasized like a blade to the soul.

13: Why do you do these things?

Fighting to regain his mind, Sa’vor manages to rise to a kneeling position. This actually brings him to eye level with 13.

Sa’vor: —!

The FF rocks with a blast to the port side. Sa’vor is knocked over before he can answer. Kithle looks up for a moment from the emotion entity he is battling to see that another Forgotten Freedom bristling with weapons is about half a kilometer off. He uses his psionic seer powers to zoom in. On the bow stands an alternate Jarlot, but Kithle can sense this is just their world’s Jarlot in another time stream. Behind one shoulder floats another 13, which is giving orders.

Kithle barely has time to yell “Brace yourselves!” before another blast hits the elemental ring, breaking it. Earl swoops off in a cry of glee, only to be cut short as he exists the reality sphere of the FF and ceases to exist to conform with the other timestream.

Kithle: This thing’s got some other FF on its side, and…hey, where it is?

He looks toward Sa’vor. In front of the half-dragon elf board have floated free, just resting in the air above a hole. More of the deck begins to come free, and then parts of the railing and inner bulkheads. The Forgotten Freedom is breaking apart piece by intact piece.

OOC: I will not assert quasi-DM authority over 13. Use it in your little plots. It's supposed to be a serious character, however, one better suited to making you confront your inner demons than being part of a joke. Also, since it's a time-jumper, there can be multiples at once, so don't worry too much about continuity. But I will be the one to ultimately stop him, because there are some concepts I’d like to express before he’s gone.
rampant

05-18-06, 01:56 PM		Eberron lies in Smoking ruin.

Slip - I thought she stopped the Mourining.

Sa'vor - Yes so the war never ended. Also nothing shook kithle out of his blood rage.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-18-06, 02:09 PM		In Sa'vors mind.

Sa'vor: oh kyber oh kyber oh kyber.

The dark: you know theres a particular saying i would like to impart on you

Sa'vor: which is?

The Dark: its an old qouri saying it goes like this: " we are all... Gonna die"

both start screaming and running around in circles. suddenly another part of Sa'vors mind, The Time lord appears and slaps them both around the head. the dark appears like a version of Sa'vor with bright violet eyes. the time lord has two pupils shaped like hourglasses surrounded by silver.

The Time Lord: STOP IT! concentrate! pull yourselves together you utterfools. if you dont do somthing Slips going to die.

The Dark: but that things ****** up the time stream! you know what that means! interdimensional Cross overs. she might not exist! do you have any idea how much trouble this will cause! we're going to have to work double shifts just to fix this mess!

The Time Lord: you forget. we have a job to do. and Satnak and friends will help.

Sa'vor: *deep breath* okay. you've stopped time right?

The Time Lord: of course i have! you know me! im you! i even stopped it so that creatures normaly immune will be stopped in time, so you can pull yourself together

Sa'vor: okay, objectives?

The Dark: 1. World domination
2. prevent interdimenional crossovers.
3. put The Dark in charge

Sa'vor: somtimes i really think your not really me. right. real objectives ?

The Time Lord:
1. Protect as much of the time stream as possible
2. protect slip
3. protect the timestream
4. destroy/ incapasitate 13

Sa'vor: Okay, objective one can be protcted by me pulling out of here and stopping as many of thirteens attempts as possible while Satnak prepares to stop 13. objective 2... hmmmm...

The Dark: you could always kill her, then raise her later.

Sa'vor: NO, not only does that not work. but she would be really ****** off about it. i have a simpler idear. my mind is protected from time and space right *glances at the time lord*

The Time Lord: you already know the answer to that question

Sa'vor: well, i suggest we bring her inside my mind like i did with the Dancing Shadows. not only would she be safe but she wouldnt be affected by any time changes. and i could keep an eye on her. oh, and Dark, if you even touch or talk to her i will make you live with ... The Deamon.

The Dark: YOU CANT DO THAT! YOU KNOW HOW BAD HE IS!! Time lord, stop him from doing that!

The Time Lord: i cant, you know he's incharge now. he only kept our personalities to have someone to talk to now and then. and because the writer needed somthing to do with his spare time.

Sa'vor: Right. now thats settled, we'll have to sort out the other objectives. any suggestions?

The Time Lord: we can send Tara and Naz'roth with us as back up. we dont know how powerful this thing is.

Sa'vor: true. Dark?

the Dark: * stares destractedly over to the Deamons section. this version of Sa'vor has bright red scales and glowing red eyes. he mouths "see you later" and grins evily from behind his barred cage* oh? yeah. right. well, we could always try to reason with 13.

theres silence while they take this in.

The Time Lord: your suggesting that we take a non-violent path? are you ill?

Sa'vor: i should think he would be. he's afraid of the Deamon.
*they all shudder*

The Time Lord: well, lets not sit here yapping. lets get on with this.
Chrys

05-18-06, 03:44 PM		Mother Daughter bonding time or why play chess when you can use the Red shirts to play D&D Minis – has nothing to do with any other plot, it is just a bit of fun.

Beryl and P/Y/R are sitting in their new room in the lower part of the ships, across the hall from the bar. The door looks normal except that it is made wholly of Silver. But once your inside the room you notice that it seems you have walked on to a huge navel battle field, with little Island of bloody carnage floating in a sea of molten silver.

P/Y/R: So what was on bit of paper that you had me …have the captain sign? I will Move my War forge Barbarian up to you dretch and attack it.
*She wave her hand a charmed War forge that’s upper body is painted red and a big ax moves forward and attacks a the lesser demon that was once a red shirt. *

Beryl: Oh, it was sort of a divorce decree, I will leave him alone and he can keep his ‘loot’ and the ship. I get the parts of the ship that are manifest zones to the Plane of conflict and I am the official demonic Baroness of the ship and all the souls of any red shirt that dies in my part of the ship. I use the Drider’s Teleporting spell to switch the Dretch with my Balor and then have the Balor off your Forged.
*Then Fiendish man spider thingy cant a few word, when it finishes the Dretch is replaced by a large and imposing Balor who for some reason it wearing a cowboy hat. The Balor decapitates the war forged. The forged’s body vanishes and the appears on an other island full healed.*

P/Y/R: Damn that was my best melee-er, I will have a wolf base the Balor and have my Ranger Shoot you Drider twice. So what do you think of Volrath? *A shifter Red shirt with a words Timber wolf taped to his shirt moves up to the Balor. Then a Female red shirt with a cloak Shoot two arrow from her bow but only hits the spider thing once. *

Beryl: Hmmm I don’t know I haven’t really met him, All I really know is that he is like Terra nephew or something… but that’s not really a problem now because I don’t think I’m a Video game character any more…why? Hmm I move one of my Abyssal stalkers to base you ranger and then have my half fiend Ogre attack your Fire elemental. * A odd little demon moves up to the ranger and the Ogre misses the fire elemental. *

P/Y/R: Well he is my first minion he was started to fallow me right after I changed and then he just poofed away… and he is kinda cute. Fire elemental attacks the ogre and My Dire Bear moves up and attacks the Balor. * The a the Fire elemental [a red shirt painted red and lit on fire. ] kills the ogre and then an other shifter who has be enlarged and has the word bear written on him hits the Balor. *

Beryl: Well I don’t care who you date… as long as it is no one related to jarlot and you stay as afar away as you can from Carlot, oh and if I become a grandmother any time before the next ten years is up your going to be grounded. The Balor attack him self and kills all your units with his death burst. * The Balor blows up and kills all the other red shirts. Then all the red shirts return to their normal form and are moved to another island. *

P/Y/R: Hey that’s cheating!

Beryl: Duh, I’m a demon lord I get to cheat.
rampant

05-18-06, 03:45 PM		Illis and Satnak - Muwhahahahahahahahaha

Igor - Nithe but isn'th thath outh of charather?

Illis - nah

Satnak - Maniacal laughter was 20 percent of the final in energitic systems engineering

Igor - :confused:

Illis - Mad science inolving psi.

Igor - Ahh.

Satnak - Anyway I've got a suppression field set plus power stones for it so any other psis can help out. The tracer effect is built into this stone put it somewhere near the helm, our new bracelets will do the targeting for it. (shows of ornate reidran crysteel bands with little arrows and clocks carved into them)

----------------------

ON deck.

Satnak - Ok Sa'vor We'll take care of 13. While you do what you can on damage control. OK?

Illis - Lets see here, oh heres a new one.

Illis activates his call stone located in his right pocket.
A massive Hammer (think goliath greathammer sized for a goliath) made of an alloy of adamant and deepcrystal, erupts forth from thin air.

Illis - This is the Rambuster, it crushes an enemies energy flow as easily as it crushes bones. Perfect for people with annoying tricks like time travel or regeneration.

Satnak - HMmm. (the callstone in her ponytail begins to glow) I think I'll use the old Slitter Fang, its got a viscious edge and tends to rip out vital organs.

A staff and blade weapon that bears some resemblance to a glaive is summoned. Its Crysteel blade is a wicked serrated affair, its oaken staff is slightly curved in an s shape to make swings more powerful.

Kithle - (flickering between normal and a version lacking the eye tatoos with countless scars criss-crossing his body instead) Impressive...but who was the .... unfortunate sap... whose arse .... you pulled those from...?

Satnak - Its that armory thing I told you about earlier.

Illis - (sommoning up a breast plate armor) Yeah its pretty damned convinient. Though it does make specializing a sub-optimal choice.

Sa'vor - Its times like this I'm glad I never ****** her off.
Deamon - :eek: agreed
Crystalforged

05-18-06, 04:06 PM		As 13 makes its appearance Kanatash suddenly begins to convulse wildly until he goes limp and settles to the deck. Carlot runs over and embraces him.

Carlot: NOOOOO!!! What's happened to him!

Terra: (check's pulse) I'm not sure whats wrong with him but I don't think any sort of harm to his physical form can actually kill him. He seems to have gone into some sort of coma. That being seems to be suppressing the madness he relies upon and I don't know exactly what's going to happen.

Micheal: (speaking to everyone else) Uh, guys, I'm just thinking that considering than the real combat hasn't even begun and we're already one uber down that we might be screwed on this one. Might I suggest we cut our losses now and flee to the bar.

Terra: You know there's no garuntee(sp?) that that thing won't be able to reach you there too.

Micheal: Yeah, but right now it looks like the end of the world is coming with us all facing messy deaths, and that's something I'd rather not have to go through sober. (to the crew) WHO'S WITH ME!

Crew: AYE!

The majority of the crew and redshirts rush of the the bar to get hammered before they all die while Terre, Carlot, and a handful of others stand on the deck.
rampant

05-18-06, 04:14 PM		!3 - You can't stop me outworlders.

Illis - I'm a Berzerker all your power serves to do is fuel my fury.

Satnak - (eyes alight with hate) NO ONE USES MY SISTER LIKE THAT YOU FREAK.
urial angel of death

05-18-06, 04:55 PM		OOC: This is before Kanatash goes into a coma.
Kanatash: Stupid boy!
He float over to Volrath.
Kanatash: Stupid boy!
With that he hits slaps Volrath across the face. Sending Volrath to the other side of the ship
Volrath: What did I do?
Kanatash: You created a paradox. Small ones can be fixed, but this is one hell of a paradox. Paradoxes this large tear at the stitchings of reality itself. To save itself Reality closes off the affected area. An hour of so after the paradox accures, all of that affected plane is sealed off. Recognizing this all of the Great Old Ones, besides :coolcthul and Hastur (as he says this thunder rumbes in the distance.) have left. Yes, even your dear old daddy. Now there is no way out for us.
Volrath: I didn't know! :weep:
Kanatash: You should have!
Kanatash begins to kick, the prone form of Volrath. Only stopping when a blast of emotion hits him.
OOC: Go to Crystalforged last post.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-18-06, 06:01 PM		Sa'vor, Tara and Naz'roth step into a time portal. the colours of the world swirlaround them in a maginifincent display before the appear in a cave

* in Sa'vors head

Slip: you cant do this to me! i need to fight!

Sa'vor: *tears rolling down his cheeks* Thier are three paths in this matter, two end in tradgedy. the first is if i let you fight by my side. i would save the universe... again. but *brushes a hand down her face* i would lose you.
the second is if i protected you with all my might. but we would lose the universe. the third is this method. i need to know your safe Slip. i cant fix time and try and protect you. this is the safest way.

Slip: *calming a bit* so what do you want me to do?

Sa'vor: i need you to learn as much as you can while your here. consider this your graduation. as well. i need you to defend my mind. if anything gets in you need to uproot it.

Slip: okay... just one last thing

Sa'vor: this is?

Slip: dont die on me *kisses him*

Sa'vor: *smiles* i wont.

* Outside Sa'vors mind*
Sa'vor: ready?

Tara and Naz'roth exchange looks. they smile at each other. then nod to Sa'vor.

Sa'vor: okay. this one will be difficult. 13's stopped the mourning by killing micheal when he was a child. this meant that the last war didnt end, and thousands of souls will suffer and die.. many of the people we call friends on the forgotten freedom wont exist. do you understand the importance of this?

Naz'roth: yes. i do.

Tara: of course.

the trio appear in a courtyard. around them houses burn from shelling and raiders, the proceed like shadows up the street. each shapeshifts into a begger and proceeds to a house, from it the screams of a woman in labour can be heard. a black claoked figure appears, he wears a shimmering mask of silver ( a lot like V's). he draws a sword when he see's the beggers.

Figure: stand aside beggers!

( Naz'roth summons a scythe)
Naz'roth: im afraid thats not going to happen.

*in Sa'vors mind*
Slip: he had to say that didnt he, it wastes so much time

The Time Lord: thats exactly what he's doing
* outside Sa'vors mind*

the Figure attacks, his black cloak fluttering behind him as he attempts a slash and Naz'roth. Naz'roth blocks with the scythes haft and brings it swishing round in a deadly arc. the figure dives back. Naz'roth hits him with a mind probe. the figure hits the ground and dies. Naz'roth drops to one knee with a cry of anguish

Tara: *rushing to his side* whats wrong? are you hurt?

Naz'roth: no... its just whats happened to him. he's full of despair. 13 uses those people whom have lost to do its bidding as it attempts to kill those whom have control over time in this realm.

the first cries of a newborn babe are heard. Sa'vor seals off this area of time permenently so it cant be altered unless by a liscenced time user. Micheal isnt assasinated at birth.
rampant

05-18-06, 06:33 PM		13 - Yes you hate me for using your sister's death at your own hand to attack you. You hate her for turning on you. You hate the world that took your parents from you. You hate your parents for not being strong enough to save your family. You hate yourself for not being strong enough to save everyone.

Satnak - I know and I accept that.

13 - What is this mortals always push away their realization of hatred. It cracks your soul wide open to realize what monstrous creatures you are, and to see yourself through anothers eyes at the emotional level. Even those who admit they are evil cannot tolerate the pain of empathy.

Satnak - I trained under an empath who was reviled the world over. Furthermore I hated him for being Levy's lover when she saw me as a little sister. He taught us something important. Accept your emotions as your own and others cannot use them against you. My hate is mine not some toy for you to play with. I am a Breaker I accepted my whole heart long ago.

Illis - You will have no better luck with me cretin. I am berzerker I wield my own emotions just like any other weapon. You cannot use our hearts against us.

Satnak - (to illis telepathy) The suppresion is in place, temporally it can't leave the next hour, spatially its confined to about a half mile around the FF. All we have to do is touch it with a hand wearing a bracelet to activate the tracker that will keep us with it when ever it shifts.

Illis - Time to die weakling.

Illis rides along the air currents bringing the Rambuster around in a sweeping arc.

13 dodges down only to find Satnak's Slitter fang angling for its eyes.

A quick dash to the left, and Illis Has 13 by the foot.

A surge of red lightning arcs down his arm into 13.

13 - RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR RGGHHH.
-blinks out-

Satnak and Illis -blink out-
urial angel of death

05-18-06, 06:33 PM		####) Satnak is not a santak
rampant

05-18-06, 07:00 PM		that should be 5684

5686. Illis is a respected and feared berserker, calling him willy will earn you a quick death.
5687. Shut up Willy, no one hurts these losers but me, go ahead call him willy I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you.
5688. Both of you stop messing with the list, this isntant.!!!
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-18-06, 08:51 PM		OOC: Oooooooo……I think Lord Kale Fangblade's almost got it.

IC: Erk and team return to the bar after a long mission……one which they can't talk about. Erk in particular is happy to get back. He walks into the bar with open arms.

Mr. T: Yo, we back!

Lucky:—!

Lucky jumps out of the way as a river of crew races into the bar. Mr. T escapes by virtue of being a creature with regeneration. Ninja Jaela dodges…because she's a ninja. Erk, however, gets trampled. Because the bar is a specially constructed extra-dimensional space it resizes to fit the crowd.

Erk: *GROWL*

Frightened Redshirt: Hey, it's not our fault! That thing out there is causing the FF to float to pieces!

Erk: *grunt*

Erk gets up and goes to the bar. He calls out for Lucky to get drink orders.

NJ 26: Hey, where's Lucky?

Silence: No, seriously, this is a magor piece of work! It knocked out all my vestiges with one hit!

Saberiel: This things all over time that it's attacking us at multiple points in our past, and it's using so much emotional output that it's taken down Kithle every time.

Erk just rumbles noncommittally.

Aerith: It seems so sad, too. Like something traumatic happened to it in its past.

Erk waved an arm to indicate that this was an adequit description of everyone on the crew.

Pholly: Oh, will you listen for a second?! I saw that thing taking on Roosevelt, and it had him rolling on the floor sobbing about all the things he'd ever done to people! I didn't even know that he had any emotions other than annoyance and satisfaction at revenge!

Most of the scum—minus Satnak, Sa'vor, and those—enter, bringing with them the comatose body of Kantash.

Terra: I see Erk's back. That's good, because now we can all die with a proper drink.

Lisa: I'm going back out there. I can't just let something like run free. Maybe some in the church are evil, but killing them will just be perpetuating the same sort of acts they do themselves.

Terra stares in admiration at Lisa.

Terra: I see that something's rubbed off on you.

Lisa: Well, after having to confront all those demons I killed because they were evil, I guess I started to see how things don't have to be the way we think they are.

Terra: I know what you mean.

Saberiel: That convince you yet, Erk?

Erk doesn't answer, but sets some large mugs down on the bartop.

Michael: Erk's right. We should all just drown ourselves because when that thing gets down here we're going to have to fight all those guilt demons again, and I for one would never want to confront them sober ever again. Hey, barkeep, another round!

Erk is just standing there, motionless. He's staring at Michael like the blackguard wanabe is the greatest sage in the multiverse.

Erk: What did you just say?

Everyone is too surprised by Erk's ability to talk.

Erk: "Guilt demons"……"wouldn't want to confront them sober"……"things don't have to be the way we think they are"……"emotional output"………

He vaults over the bartop, landind lightly on his hooves as even NJ 26 couldn't manage. He races up and examines Kantash.

Erk: His normal base nature' s been neutrallized?

Volrath is a bit too stunned to respond.

Erk: If Kantash is made of insanity……heck, even the Forgotten Freedom must be held together by insanity now………

Terra: Whoa, assume we can't read your mind………because I guess I can't.

Erk: Something is countering the insanity of this very ship. You've had to confront all the nuances of your actions that you hadn't considered before. This thing exists everywhen and has enough grief that it probably equals every bit of sadness and despair and pain from every person from creation till destruction. (he jumps up and clicks his hooves together) It's the best puzzle so far!

Random Redshirt: Um, excuse me, our whole world is about to be rearranged!

Erk: I can't deal with you now. I have to stop this thing.

Norbaz: Care to fill us in? At least enough that if you don't succeed we have something to go on?

Erk: You wouldn't understand.

Volrath grabs Erk by the hair on his chest and yanks him down to eye level.

Volrath: Listen, you! We don't have time for games!

Erk: *sigh* It's the exact opposite of the Forgotten Freedom.

Lisa: You mean it's good—

Erk: No……………it's completely SANE!

Cricket: *chirp, chirp*

Erk: I told you.

Then he sprints from the room.

OOC: I reserve the right to explain why Erk is acting the way he is and what he means. You may interpret, however. I hope whoever created Erk in the first place is not made at me. :bigeyes:
rampant

05-18-06, 09:08 PM		13 winks into existance once more, covered in bloody gashes and weeping bruises.

Satnak blinks in underneath 13 and launcges a volley of rising strokes.

13 darts up but, gets slammed into the meat grinder by Illis.

13 - why can't my powers hurt you?

Satnak - Simple, we are balanced we accept the madness inherent in our beings, but it does not consume us.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-18-06, 09:38 PM		OOC: I have to say, I think Terra is being misrepresented. She wouldn't strike out just because she's mad. She also knows full well the results of her actions. As I said, those she deals to would have done it anyway. She is not the one who chose to destroy their life, they are. In a way, she helps prolong their life by keeping the infighting to a minimum. Just saying...
urial angel of death

05-18-06, 09:59 PM		Volrath: Aerith what you told me was incorrect.
Aerith: What I told you?
Volrath: When I got back from the past.
Aerith: This is the first time I've seen you, sense you left.
Volrath: Then who was that?
Aerith: An alternate time line Aerith, a figment of your imagination, an illusion cast by someone?
Volrath: If it is an alternate Aerith that would be very bad, because then the alternate timelines have access to our ship. If it is an illusion then 13 has more power than it lets on. Let's hope it was a figment of my imagenation.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-18-06, 10:57 PM		OOC: I have to say, I think Terra is being misrepresented. She wouldn't strike out just because she's mad. She also knows full well the results of her actions. As I said, those she deals to would have done it anyway. She is not the one who chose to destroy their life, they are. In a way, she helps prolong their life by keeping the infighting to a minimum. Just saying...
OOC: Sorry. In the first part I needed someone to defend Volrath and it worked out that there could be some interesting sparring with Lisa. If you'll notice Lisa said some things which she probably wouldn't even think. It wasn't meant to show their true feelings, just be one of those times that the bad guy overpowers you.

As for the second, I'll change that. That's the hazard of trying to write other's characters. :( That's why I normally deal with the Lesser-Useds and why my character have generally been one-dimensional.

IC: Satnak goes to strike a blow at 13.

And he disintegrates before she can reach him. However, the FF is still coming apart.

Satnak: Okay, I've hit enough demons and demi-gods and über creatures to know when they're dead. Come on out so I can erase you and get back to eating chilli.

13: DON'T YOU THINK I'VE TRIED?

Satnak: :confused:

13: I hear them screaming at me across the ages. I want them to stop. I can't escape them, so I have to make them stop.

13 appears right in front of Satnak, blood streaming form its wounds. But Satnak sees that it's not 13's blood: it's the blood of every creature killed for being itself. In that instant she realizes that it's not possible to kill something that's powered by the act of killing it for what it is in essence.

She doesn't have time to think further. 13 tears into her with all the force of her own suffering, all the emotional pain she's ever had. Satnak weathers it, having long ago accepted this pain as part of her. But it seems like an eternity before 13 tires out.

13: Why do I have to suffer for the pain you've had?

Illis hits 13 with Rambuster. But instead of the creature screaming, it seems as if the whole world around the ship cries out with pain.

Illis: WTF?

13 (showing no signs that the hammer affected it): You want to destroy me? Then you'll have to destroy the whole world. Until you can feel its pain—*shriek*

Satnak hears the sound, but is not quite sure she believes it. For the first time, even if she's only known 13 a short while, the voice that comes from its mouth isn't the screams of other people. The small black fox-form, becoming wrapped by a shiny black swirling blob—now taking on the form of a draconic serpent—is experiencing its own pain. The FF stops falling apart and begins to rebuild itself. Outside the ship's bubble it can be seen that the time streams are reforming into their proper places.

Caralot: Get out of here! Thyrs can't hold him forever!

Illis: I think we can handle this.

He swings at the grappling opponents. The black blob melts aside easily, but when Rambuster hits 13 there is the sound of a world-sized dragon moaning.

Caralot: Idiot. Violence isn't going to do any good. I don't know why, but I think because Thrys is basically a collective of minds on its own it spreads 13 out thin until it can get to the being underlying this whole thing.

Satnak and Illis: :confused:

Caralot: They cover a lot of things in my cult. Listen, let's just step back and……

13 is gone. So is Thyrs.

OOC: 3 or 4 more revlations to go, which I could probably cover in the next post, and 1 philosophical concept that I'll need time to write up properly, and I can be done with this. Unless you don't want me to be………………
Kaizer_Ryu

05-18-06, 11:12 PM		OOC: I kind of figured about the first part, but I was just covering all bases. As for this, just assume it's before SCMP's last one.

A few moments after Erk leaves, Lisa moves to follow him.

Terra: Hold on, there.

Lisa: Like I said, I'm going back. I don't know what I can do, but I have to try to help any way I can.

Terra: No, I mean, I'm coming with you.

Lisa: Really?

Terra: You didn't think I'd let you go out there alone, did you? Many of my shadow abilities may be useless, but I won't leave you to fend for yourself.

Volrath: What about me?

Terra looks at him, a look of empathy and disappointment on her face.

Terra: I can understand why you did what you did. I really can. You wanted to prevent what happened to your family. But the fact remains: it did happen. Things like that happen to many people. We accept it and move on. Though you may not like the options life gives you, the one you pick makes that path your own. I thought you had learned at least this much.

Volrath: But I was...I just...

Terra: (a look of deep sadness crosses her face) For a fleetiing moment before the shield was set up, I saw an endless number of possibilities for myself. Lives I could have led, both happy and sad. He even asked me if I wanted to change any part of my life. Despite the fact that I did, I had to decline.

Volrath: Why?

Terra: Because if I had, I would not have met you. I would not have met Lisa. I would not have met Not-Walter. I would have missed out on so many things, and my new life would have been nothing but a lie. No matter how I feel about my life, I am here because I made it so. If I don't like part of it, I change what I can in the here and now.

Volrath: But it's not fair! What if your choices are not really choices at all?!

Terra: Who said life was fair? Life isn't fair. You roll with the punches, get back up and try again. If the gods themselves seem out to stop you, raise your fist and cry out in defiance to the last fiber of you being! You are the master of your own destiny. Take control and smash the chains of fate that bind you. You cannot change what has already happened, but only you can create what comes next.

Volrath: But I did change things! The Silver Flame should not exist!

Terra: (looks at him angrily) Look around you. Witness the 'good' it has caused, then tell me again of your wonderful accomplishment.

She turns and leaves with Lisa. Volrath stands there in shock. He had never seen her so upset with him...
Crystalforged

05-19-06, 12:08 AM		EDIT: Fudge, Kaizer-Ryu posted while I was typing. Maybe just assume mine was before his.


Back in the bar, no one knows what, if any success the others are having. Suddenly shrieks of pain come from on of the back rooms.

Micheal: ****, it found a way in and I'm not nearly drunk enough yet.

Terra, noticing Volrath is missing is the first to go investigate the screems. As she enters the room she notices Kanatash's comatose form floating above a platform looking even more translucent than usual. Meanwile the screems are coming from a reshirt that Volrath is working on with a series of improvised torture devices. Suddenly the screems stop and the redshirt goes limp. Volrath stabs a syringe into the redshirts head, draining out some liquid which he proceeds to dribble onto Kanatash:

Terra: What in Kyber's undershorts are you doing.

Volrath: (looking forelorn) Uncle Kanatash is starting to fade away now that he's cut off from any source of madness. I've been driving these redshirts mad and extracting the essence of madness from them to try and slow the effects. Unfortunately my processes are crude but there has been some slight improvements.

Terra: (Sighing) I commend you efforts but as things look now it may not matter much longer. It looks like the end of the world out there.

Suddenly in the background the song, "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine," starts playing weakly.

Terra: Well, if he can still do that he can't be too bad off.

Volrath: I suppose but I still wish he was here. He was always a paranoid SOB, even more than should be expected on this ship, but he always had some sort of crazy contingency that he could pull out of nowhere.

Terra: About now I think we could really use something unexpected. The guy's out there are going to need all the help they can get. Say, Volrath, you spend more time around Kanatash than anyone except Carlot, do you have any ideas about his backup plans?

Volrath: No, wait, maybe one. Uncle told me once about The Closet (tm).

Terra: The closet?

Volrath: No, The Closet (tm). He didn't like to talk about it much, something about it seemed to make him nervous, but I do know it holds immense power. It's power has similarities to that of Xoriat but they are completely seperate entities. There are apparently many things in The Closet (tm), items, weapons, places, people, almost anything one can imagine. Uncle told me never to open it unless the danger of opening it was greater than what we faced, but he never told me what the danger was.

Terra: I can't imagine anything more dangerous than having the entire crew never exist in the first place so let's go.

---

A short jaunt to Kanatash's chambers later the pair stand in front of a simple wooden door marked "janitor."

Terra: Are you sure this is it? (Volrath nods) Well here goes nothing.

Terra uses a variety of spell, attacks, skills, items, and at one point even rabid muskrat to try and open the door but it doesn't budge.

Terra: (panting) I.. Give... Up...

Volrath: You just need to know how to deal with these things. (pulls out library card and slides it along the crack between the door and the wall. It clicks open) See?

Terra glares at Volrath but suddenly the door springs open. It reveas a surface that can only be described as liquid darkness. It glistens and ungulates as innumerable items begin to spill forth, weapons, ancient and futuristic, devices, both magical and technological, things best left unnamed, and even somethings which have no name in this world or any other.

Terra: (Picking up a handful of plasma gernades and a vial of bubonic plauge) These could be useful.

Before she can say more a disheveled figure begins to materialize from the door.

Volrath: Uncle Kanatash?

Kanatash?: GLEDDLELAAF-ASDLKJTE_KSALTJESARA/ATTOTTSOAS TIC-TAC-PALLY-WAK.

Terra: It must be some sort of alternate Kanatash who never reached that state of "perfect madness" he talks about.

This Kanatash flips upside down and floats through the ceiling as a new from begins to emerge. This one has a rigid posture and glows white light.

Terra: (shielding eyes) Sweet Jeala, the aura of good on that thing is enough to blind a beholder.

Volrath: I would assume this is another Kanatash that never ended up in going to Xoriat in the first place.

This second Kanatash bows to both of them and floats out the door as well as a third figure emerges. This one is completely solid and extremely muscular.

Terra: This one must have taken the path of a psychic warrior rather than a psion.

Warrior Kanatash makes some grunting noises and smashes through a nearby wall. With his head. While not wearing a helmet.

Volrath: Some previous brain damage may also be posible with that one.

A fourth figure emerges just then. This one is sitting crosslegged, wearing a tie-dye t-shirt, carrying a set of bongos, and smoking from what is unmistakably a bong.

Hippy Kanatash: Whoa, dude. The cosmic, ugh, cosmicness is like all out of whak around this place. Someone needs to like reach a balance or something around here. (checks the bong) But first I need to get myself some more stuff.

Hippy Kanatsh stumbles out of the room while Volrath and Terra simply stare at him and then at each other.

Volrath: Uncle is going to ****ed when he sees that one.

Terra: Yeah. Now why don't we close this door before anything ELSE comes through it.

Before either of them can act the door closes on its own and vanishes as if it had never been there leaving a pile of strange and powerful items on the ground in front of where it used to be.
rampant

05-19-06, 12:15 AM		Satnak - Hello there.

Illis - We have you by the mind you cannot escape us.

13 - WHAT ARE YOU?

Illis - I am berzerker. I can sense your fighting spirit waning. I see through the emotion you hide behind.

Satnak - I am breaker. I can see you fracturing. Your will is crumbling against us. I could sever your existance, but another like you would be formed. I could tear out the part of the universe that allows you to exist, but your temporal nature makes this dangerous. You have one option deal with the pain or die as I rip asunder the fundaments of time. Its no question whether I would sacrifice this realm to save existance from a mad timerunner. Either shut up and stop ****ing up reality or prepare for death on a scale you've never dreamed. Look for a minute, you prevented the mourning. THe Great war still rages below us, thousands suffer. Kithle is roiling in torment between himself and the him that was never shaken from the bloody rampage. Cyre still lies lifeless, but now great swawthes of the continent are also targeted by his undying wrath. If you bring back his Girlfirend to prevent that. Sa'vor would run unchecked, the shadow wielders would be free to do as they wish, all the people I've saved from countless threats will be dead. Yours is a world in ruin.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-19-06, 02:12 AM		The two women make their way to the deck, fighting only when necessary. During a brief repose:

Lisa: What did you mean when you said your shadow powers were pretty much useless?

Terra: Calling them shadows is less accurate than you might think. Each is more of a portal to the Plane of Shadow, you just need to have the key. The things I do are more like bringing a part of that plane into this one. It's not that different than what Pardan (the Wild Mage guy) does. He is able to draw on the raw stuff of magic, albeit badly, while I can command the very fabric of the Plane of Shadow to do my bidding.

Lisa: So, since were in a sealed off space, you can't access it?

Terra: Exactly. About the only thing I can still do is bind shadows, and only when they come into contact with other shadows, and even this only has the effect of tying the two together.

Lisa: Still, it's better than nothing...

Terra: That it is. Now let's get going. I think I hear Satnak and the new guy.
Jürgen Hubert

05-19-06, 03:31 AM		After reading through the first two thousand entries, I have to add:

5689. Paedophilia is never funny.
5690. And I mean it this time!
Charles Phipps

05-19-06, 04:39 AM		A short interlude about what the Jarlot family has been up to....

Michael: What are you doing?

Jarlot: I'm training Jaela....err....Sakura in ninjitsu.

Michael: You mean sneaking, smoke bombs, and stuff?

Jarlot: No no, REAL ninjitsu. The art of flipping out and fighting all the time.

Michael: Huh?

*A Balor, a Pit fiend, a small army of lesser demons, and a Glaabezu then slinked forward from a whole to Shelvaresh*

Jarlot: It's a Manifest Zone. They're going to kill, rape, and enslave everyone in that village below because they're Silver Flame worshippers. After charging a hefty sum....

Sakura: I WILL STOP YOU!

*The little girl of 15 pulls out her tachi sword and steps in front of the monstrous horde, her Ninja outfit complete with a lovely eyepatch*

Michael: Uhhh...Jarlot. This is insane.

Jarlot: Yeah.

Balord: I will enjoy grinding your bones up little girl...perhaps after I make you bear my young.

Sakura: You cannot even begin to fathom how much I utterly and completely despise your kind.

*Sakura then ran towards the Balor as it charged at her, slicing through its manifold tentacle liked spiked whip and then using her fireproof ninja shoes to to run up its flaming arm before leaping above its head upside down and slicing off its head with a single blow from her sword then slamming the sword into its back. Sakura slid down the wound as it cut through the monstrous demon's backside before she hit the ground.*

*The Balor fell over the edge and exploded against the ground below in a burst of demonic hellfire*

Michael: HOLYYYYy...

Pit Fiend: *****! We are justified in destroying those Flameites for interfering with our ways

Sakura: Evil people always like to say they're no different from anyone else but that's not true!

*She lept forward in a cartwheel and faster than the eye motions of her body between the masses of the Abishani, Manes, and Lemures that charged her before they fell down by the dozens. Each cut bisecting them enemy as she sprung with motions faster than the eye*

Sakura: Good isn't about murder! Good is about caring and protecting! It's about wanting to sacrifice of yourself to protect others!

*She jumped upon the Pit Fiends sword before jumping up off of its head twenty feet into the air before diving. The Pit Fiend caught her blade with his but she only did a gymnastics flip before slashing a X through its skull, cutting off its left arm, then its right, then both legs as it fell.*

Glaazebu: Uncle?

Sakura: I gladly give you mercy if you will simply le....

*The Demon pulled four swords to sneak attack her as she was caught off guard*

*Jarlot then shot the Demon with a blessed pistol +5 equipped with Silver Relic Bullets*

Jarlot: I admit, that's probably the weakness I'd LIKE you to have.
rampant

05-19-06, 05:06 AM		Kithle - (still flickering) Valencia... gods the pain... I can still hear her voice... No I wont let you trick me into that... She would have suffered so if she had lived... she was too good to abandon me... we could never have been accepted... We would be found out no matter how good my disguises... oh gods I miss her... go away 13... stop using her like this... I'd never forgive myself If I did that to her... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-19-06, 06:58 AM		Satnak: Its no question whether I would sacrifice this realm to save existance from a mad timerunner.
OOC: Oh, you shouldn't have said that. :evillaugh
IC:
13 stares at Satnak. The look on its face is hard to read, but it seems to be a mixture of surprise, horror……and perhaps even relief. It stops struggling with Thyrs.

13: Do it, then.

Satnak: WTF?

13: KILL ME, or destroy the world. I don't care which. Either way, I get what I need. I won't have to feel the pain of others anymore.

Satnak: Oh stop whining.

13: I'm not whining. I'd like to see you feel pain every time you even hear of someone being teased. I'd like you to cry every time you hear words of hate, cry for both those who have to endure them and those who say them. I'd like you a die a little each time someone is hurt because of what they are and not what they choose to do completely free…………and no one is completely free. (it snarls, bearing fangs of white hot fury) And I'd like to see you endure that through all the time there is in this existance without every part of your soul being ripped away until the only thing left is the anger. And endure it again, and again, and again as you try and make it right and yet no matter what you do they come up with another way. You think this is the only Eberron that has ever existed? Sa'vor and you think that you can prevent me from changing the past. But I've already done it so many times that I can't even remember them all. But it didn't matter. I even tried to prevent myself from being created, and nothing happened that was truely different.

13 stands despite the load and the pain of Thyrs. It spreads its arms, indicating every choice that it's ready to take whatever Satnak is willing to do.

13: So give me the oblivion that I hunger for so much, and place beyond thought and feeling. Then maybe there they'll all stop screaming at me to do something. Maybe there I won't have to think about the two fo them argueing over that laughable Prophecy, or see my father die and my mother imprisoned by my sibling.

Caralot: :OMG!
urial angel of death

05-19-06, 07:43 AM		Volrath: This should work to keep Kanatash alive.
Volrath has rounded up all of the daelkyr half-blood redshirts, and hooked them up in two way telepathy with Kanatash.
Volrath: Nighty night uncle. Hope you wake up soon. :schemes:
Several incorpreal inmoveable rods hang over Kanatash's neck and head.
Volrath: How can I right what I have done?
rampant

05-19-06, 01:59 PM		Illis - You little wimp At least Forbes doesn't whine about it.

Satnak - You really shouldn't let your opponents know that kind of info. I'm willing, but there are few things I wanna try first.

13- :confused: :weep:
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-19-06, 03:09 PM		Caralot: Noooooooooooo!

Caralot snatches up 13 bodily and jumps over the side.
rampant

05-19-06, 03:19 PM		Satnak - Honestly Caralot if you have an alternate solution speak up.

Illis - I am the hurricane no where in the sky can you evade me.

Caralot - :eek:

Satnak - 13 wishes for a death of sorts. I intend to bind its soul beyond sensation, it'll become one of silence's little friends.

Illis - Satnak, your still the same twisted psychotic ***** who rescues kittens by cutting down the tree you were when I met you, specifically after climbing said tree to rescue said kitten.

Caralot and 13 - :confused:
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-19-06, 03:50 PM		OOC: I'm assuming Illis does something to bring Caralot back up on deck.

IC: Her first option foiled, Caralot calls on a much bolder plan.

Caralot: Igor!

Igor: Yeth, mith?

Caralot: Oh, good. I wasn't actually sure that worked for anyone but Jarlot.

Igor: It ith my power. I know when to uthe it.

13 stares at Igor for a long time. The look on the creature's face is one of weary annoyance.

13: You.

Igor: Yeth, me.

Caralot looks from one to the other. 13 climbs out and stands before the hunchback. Satnak readies to strike again, but something prodding at her mind says "This is over. You have nothing more to do here." She doesn't known where it's coming from.

Caralot: So you…

13: We know each other. Igor served my mother.

Caralot: Who was Khyber.

13: Exactly.

13 turns quickly away from Igor, but doesn't move away.

13: Why didn't you do anything to stop them?

Igor: My very being is as a fascillitator, not a provacator. Those who cause mayhem, who hold up one side of the balance, don't ususally have many friends to help them. They need someone to give them a feeling of needing someone else, even if they don't realize it. I don't cause, I hold up.

13: I guess you're the sort of person who doesn't care much that a Prophecy is trying to run your life.

Igor: I live my life how I think it should be lived. If something else runs it, then whatever I do I'm supposed to do and can't change it. If I have freedom, then I am exercising it the way I wish. And by not interfering others have the same choice.

13: Yet there will always be those who think that interfering is what they are meant to do.

Igor: You can't hate something for what it is.

Erk's Voice: I'm glad you think so.

Igor, 13, and Caralot fade. Completely from existance.

OOC: Okay, sorry guys, but now this is my ending (to write later). Quasi-DM authority and all that.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-19-06, 09:54 PM		OOC: Ok, I'm officially confused as to what is going on. Even more than before. But I think, or at least hope, that's your intention.

IC:

Terra and Lisa arrive on deck, 13's power having disappeared.

Terra: WTF?

Satnak: I wish I knew.

Lisa: So...is he gone?

Illis: Don't count on it. I really hope Caralot knows what she's doing...
rampant

05-19-06, 10:59 PM		Satnak - Oh what do you care, your ready to pull the plug on this whole plane if we don't deal with it soon.

Illis - You think I would enjoy destroying a realm!

Satnak - I know you would, you're a berzerker.

Illis - You got me. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-20-06, 07:48 AM		OOC: Ok, I'm officially confused as to what is going on. Even more than before. But I think, or at least hope, that's your intention.
OOC: One of the problems in writing for this group is that sometimes you have to be hasty or someone messes with your set-up. It's difficult to project the image I want when someone else does something to the character. I guess that's the price you pay for writing in a group, but it's also why I stick to characters who other people don't use much. And yes, you are supposed to be confused up till now.

Motes of shadow sizzle between clouds of darkness in a void of blue almost black. Images flicker within the clouds, images of things already created and decaying and images of things still forming. Sounds flicker through the void, but they are so quick that one cannot hear them, only get a feeling.

Igor, 13, and Caralot just stand there among all these wonders, still supported as if by the decking of the Forgotten Freedom.

13: And yet I still hear them scream.

Erk’s Voice: *deep yet warm laughter* And now you see why the idea of an all-seeing god seems so ludicrous.

A cloak steps out of the void, as if stepping from invisibility. It has the look of a blackboard peeled off its housing, thinned into a fine cloth, yet still holding the grand scribblings of some mad university. The figure inside appears to be a minotaur, yet composed of a skin of tiny symbols so that it is transparent and yet its features are easy to see.

13: You brought us here?

Erk’s Voice (coming from the word being): Yes. This story has ended.

13: Then you’ll give me oblivion? (its voice is pleading)

Word Being: If that is what you really want.

13: All I want if for the voices to stop screaming at me to do something. I don’t want to care anymore.

Word Being: Then you don’t need oblivion. What you need are illusions. Igor?

Igor: Yeth, mathter.

Caralot: I thought Jarlot was your master.

Igor: Jarlot ith, on Eberron. Here, my mathter ith the one who cautheth the change in worldth.

Word Being: Right now that would be me. Please fetch the god-entrapping mirror, Igor.

Igor: Yeth, mathter.

Igor starts walking, and vanishes as the word being had appeared.

Caralot: What did you mean when you say Thyrs needs illusions?

Word Being: Sometimes beings must think that some things are true even when they are not. Otherwise they would see that nothing is certain from one moment to the next. Beings of my kind call these “necessary illusions”.

Caralot: For those of us who aren’t god-like.

Word Being: Many things that beings think, particularly sentient beings, aren’t true or are only true in a way that is not how they think it is. Ideals, for example, are never real: they are too far-reaching. But by believing in them beings can push themselves to achieve something. Hope is another.

13: So then why do I suffer for others?

Word Being: You have no illusions. You do not see any suffering as necessary or allowable. Pain is bad, and you see it that way. Suffering is bad, and you see it that way all the time. You see how things could be different and see how easy events and people could change. You are also unsure of how the next moment will be. You hold no assumptions, because assumptions are just illusions that some things are not possible. When these two things are combined you have an unrelenting need to show the world exactly what it is, and the constant uncertainty that you have done enough.

13 (looking skeptical): You don’t sound like you know what you’re talking about.

Word Being: I can only guess. I, too, have illusions. For me it is entirely necessary, for I solve puzzles as my purpose. I must always have a bit of certainty.

Caralot: In my Eberron Thyrs only has intelligence because it links itself to the minds of anything with water in it. Even then, it rarely acts like it thinks at all. So what happened?

Word Being: In your world Khyber broke the Draconic Prophecy. Though the pieces still dictated events, they could fall in the time stream wherever. Here, Siberys stopped Khyber before that happened. 13 saw the entire thing, and the knowledge that all of time was set shattered any free will.

Caralot: So free will is an illusion?

Word Being: No, just his. 13 has no thoughts for itself. Even its desire to leave existence is no more than a thought that the world wishes it gone.

13: You’re guessing again.

The Word Being nods.

Word Being: My illusions allow me to think that I can have the right answer. I will admit that I could be wrong.

13 hangs its head.

13: But it’s true. I do everything for the rest of existence. Nothing for myself.

Igor returns, holding a tall mirror that does not reflect but seems to flicker with glimpses of images.

Word Being: Look into this mirror. It will show you something you can keep for yourself.

Caralot notices that the void around is fading back to the deck of the Forgotten Freedom, but that 13 and the Word Being are fading as well. She watches as 13 seems to laugh at something, then dissolves away.

Finally back on the FF, Caralot stands wearily.

Caralot: I guess it’s over. 13 got what it wanted. We have this Eberron back where it’s supposed to be. The world is saved once again. We can go back to our normal lives.

Igor: Thith ith the Forgotten Freedom, mith. Thingth are never over.
***
In the great space of Non-existance, the Word Being picks up the few particles that are left of 13.

Word Being: How true that is, Igor.


Word Being (not its real name), a god of puzzles from somewhere that isn’t Eberron, who is currently merged with Erk (statistics unknown)

This entity usually shows up as intelligence and wit that would seem unnatural for a minotaur like Erk. It also has considerable powers of illusion. It’s ability to remain hidden so far may be due in part to not actually doing anything noteworthy. Those who try to read it find that it just wants to run the bar and have a look around. It is overly fond of puzzles, and will go out of its way to try and solve one. However, its definition of “puzzle” maybe quite different from anyone else’s.

OOC: Well, there you go. Villain gone, mystery explained, new mystery comes forth. We can all (especially me) get back to writing jokes. In fact, I think this has taught me a lesson: not only am I better at writing jokes, I like writing them more.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-20-06, 02:29 PM		OOC: Is everyone done voting for the bar name?
rampant

05-20-06, 03:16 PM		Satnak - Nice speach.

Word/Erk - How did you get in here?

Illis - Tracers remember.

W/erk - Gah! stop that.

Satnak - Next time you want in on my fights say something in advance. Your lucky Illis was able to hold himself back. They don't call them berzerkers for nothing. I was tempted to seal the lot of you in here to boot.

---------------

Back on the FF.

Illis - Can I go home now?

Satnak - Say hi to Lilly and Levy for me.
(portal open)
Illis - Out *****.
(leaps through portal)
Satnak - Bye bye Willy.
(portal closes)

Terra - Is the nutcase gone yet?

Satnak - No I'm still here.

Lisa - You know she means Illis.

Terra - My fault for not being specific, she could have said which one, or you're still here, or nope we still have a commodore infestation, the list goes on.

Lisa - Oh yeah, this ship, "fleet"?

-----------------

Squishy - Somebody stop this crazy changeling!! On top of everything else he has fishbreath.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-20-06, 03:23 PM		OOC: I thought you did a good job with it. Not the most climactic ending ever, but it can't always be a big, flashy fight-to-the-death ending. :D

And rampant: :heehee
Chrys

05-20-06, 03:44 PM		ooc: I don't care what the bars name it... so name it what ever. ;), question so is Volrath still following P/Y/R around a little psudonatural puppy? I think it would be fun to write a 'date' secne for them :embarrass [think Lady and the tramp but with Jarlot dress up like the italian waiter :rolleyes: ]
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-20-06, 03:55 PM		OOC: I thought you did a good job with it. Not the most climactic ending ever, but it can't always be a big, flashy fight-to-the-death ending. :D

And rampant: :heehee
OOC: Yeah, well, dramatic endings make me sick.:yuck: My ending was entirely intended to express my ideas. And who says I'm really done?

IC: Word Being: I did not have time for subtely, Satnak.

Satnak: Giaiyah! How did you sneak up on me?

Word Being: I didn't do any sneaking. You just weren't paying attention. A word of caution: never go to that place again. It is a myriad of possibilities and pathways, quite easy to get lost in. The worlds you'd find would turn you into their slave and your entire exitance would be erased. Oh, I'm not worried about you. I would just hate for people who weren't involved in any of our little conflicts to get trapped in there. The damage you would do would tear the entire fabric of that multiverse apart, and as cruel as you seem to be sometimes I doubt you want to kill another entire existance.

Satnak: Are you telling me what to do?

Word Being: Oh, no, I'm not even remotely that stupid. If I was I would have just dismissed you as insignificant. I'm saying that secrets around here have inventive ways of getting out, sometimes on their on volition. Well, I'd better be getting back to the bar. It's Dwarven Drinking Song contest night.

OOC: I'm not kidding. Your characters go there, and I will give them a taste of the worst things my mind has come up with. Not trying to be cruel.:evillaugh:
rampant

05-20-06, 04:09 PM		OOc: hey i made it clear the tracers would pull Satnak and Illis around after 13, thats why satnak got so huffy about no one telling her anything.

----------------------

Satnak and Hoybee sqaure off.

Satnak's been chugging down Liquid keel haulings for the last hour. Hoybee's past his gills in fermented Yumyuk.

Satnak - "And thats How they showed their respect for patty murphey,
thats they showed their honor and their pride,"...

Hoybee - "In great -hic- stone realm -hic- of underhelm -hic-
Reigned the -hic- king ralkin son -hic- of murinfelm -hic-"... ( at each hic a sonic orb of ramdom magnitude is launched )

Pholly - I didn't think it was possible.

Micheal - what for satnak to get drunk?

Pholly - no, for hoybee to aim, each orb has hit the dead center of a table
Kaizer_Ryu

05-20-06, 04:18 PM		OOC: I hope you didn't take that the wrong way. I liked it. I thought it was a nice change of pace from the see badguy, smash badguy routine.

And remember Long Wang's Bag of Stuff? :evillaugh

IC:

Long Wang Hung, Lucky, and Bolt Tooth Tony are in the bar, rummaging through the Bag of Stuff when they come across another wand. This one is pink and about 2/5ths the size of a regular wand.

B.T. Tony: A bit small, isn’t it?

Long Wang: Perhaps a quick test will clear things up.

Lucky: (points across the room) How about that rat?

B.T. Tony fires the wand at it. The rat turns into a disturbingly cute anime version of itself.

B.T. Tony: Yikes…

Long Wang: Maybe a kind of custom reduce/polymorph spell wand?

Lucky: Seems that way. Something about it just doesn’t look right.

B.T. Tony: :schemes: I’m gonna go see what it does to humanoids.

Lucky: (sweating) I-I don’t think that’s such a good idea…

B.T. Tony: Oh, come on. What harm could it be to have a little fun?

A little while later, somewhere in the halls of the Forgotten Freedom. B.T. Tony sprints down the hall in terror. The cause for such soon becomes apparent.

Terra: WHERE IS HE?!!! I’M GONNA KILL HIM!!!

Terra is currently a chibi anime version of herself. An angry *pom* sits on her forehead, and her eyes are literally flaming. She grasps her staff, which currently looks eerily similar to Cardcaptor Sakura’s wand.

Lisa: Calm down, Terra. It’s not that bad…

Lisa soon follows, also chibi. She holds her warhammer at the ready, which has now become a comedy hammer.

Terra: Look at me! I’m CUTE!! I don’t DO cute! Did you see when I blasted at him back there? I twirled around while surrounded by stars and flowers!

Lisa: I thought it was adorable. Creepy, yes, but still adorable.

Terra: And what the hell is up with this?! (points to the pom)

Lisa: (sweat drop) It’s still not worth getting this upset about it…

Terra: But look what happened to Not-Walter!

Not-Walter pops his head out of her cloak. He has gigantic eyes and looks disturbingly like a Pokemon.

Lisa: Ok, I have to agree with you there. That’s just not right.

Terra: Let’s just hope Caralot doesn’t-

Caralot: (beside herself with excitement) EEEEEEEEEEEKK!!!!!! (runs at them with her arms outstretched)

Lisa: RUN AWAY!!!

OOC: If anyone want's to pick up on this, feel free. I can see endless mayhem coming from this. :devil:

Once again, rampant: :heehee
rampant

05-20-06, 04:41 PM		Kithle - WTF?! WHICH ONE OF YOU SICK DEMENTED FREAKS CHIBID DEATH PAPER!!!

Terra - How can you tell he doesn't have eyes?

Lisa - I think it might have something to do with all the articles being either new instructions for your staff, or about sales on anime stuff.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-20-06, 05:25 PM		OOC: I would like to make clear that I have no problem with Satnak following. I just want you to know that if I feel like it I can come up wtih horrors beyond your subconcious.

OH, and:
OOC: If anyone want's to pick up on this, feel free. I can see endless mayhem coming from this. :devil:
Never say that. I have just one word for you: Roosevelt.

IC: Roosevelt is wearing a tin helmet and clenching a cigar in his teeth. He marches up and down before a line of Volrath's abberrations.

Roosevelt (adding a deep gravel to his voice): Things, today we face the greatest horror our kind can know: a wand that causes cuteness. We have a duty to the horrible creatures of Eberron to stop this madness before it spreads. Now some of you may get hit, but your sacrifice will not be forgotten. Whenever an aboleth causes someone to suffocate because they got hit with mucos, whenever a beholder takes out multiple oppoenets while their magical gear doesn't function, whenever a mind flayer comments that a particular brain taste divine, they will think of us!

Abberrations: Yarrrgh!

Roosevelt: And don't do it just for yourselves! Do it for Kithle, who's paying us a hell of a lot of money so he doesn't get hit!

Abberrations: YAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!
rampant

05-20-06, 06:46 PM		Squirrel Calvalry Commander - Squeak squeakum squeak squeak

Squirrel Calvarly - Squeaker Squeaken

Riding ocelots - Meow

The Calvalry wears darkwood scale armor and the Ocelots bear leatheer barding. Each squirrel also carries a lance, a sword, and a pack of javelins.

They mount up the hunt is on, the ocelots have been given bolt-tooth's scent, from a shirt found in his room. Tongs were ncesary.

C. commander - Squeak chirrup

The formation dissapears into the shadows and rafters alll the while maintaining communication via tail talk. (ocelot calvalry is so cool)

-----------

Bolt tooth tony - Hehe lost them stupid aboleths.

from the rafters Chirrup

Bolt tooth tony - Great they got dem nut brains spying on me.

From behind one of the Squirrerl calvalry is charging Bolt-tooth.

Bolt-tooth tony - Nice try (spins and shoots, a direct hit)

No affect

Squirrel calvalry trooper - Squeaken :confused:

Bolt-tooth tony - uh oh, guess it don' werk on things thats alreadys cute.

SCT - :devil: SQEAKER

The SCT charges once more bouncing from wall to wall at head hieght.

Bolt-tooth tony - Crud :eek:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-20-06, 07:09 PM		OOC: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Great so far. I have a little something to add to the squirrel troops...

IC:

Lisa: (still chibi) Really, I whole heartedly support your attemts to return to normal, but I think you're going overboard with this.

Terra: (also chibi) One word: Not-Walter.

Lisa: Right. Go ahead.

Terra is busy arming the (fireproof) squirrel catapults with Fire Seed boosted ammo.

Terra: Stupid wand. Even Dispel Magic doesn't remove it. I hope, for his sake, there's a way to change back. Anything that makes my shadow abilities cute should be considered a war crime.

Lisa: I can only pray that he stays away from Satnak...

Terra: Ooooooooooo, sh*t. Making 'The Glare' cute. I don't even want to think about what would happen then.
Rei32491

05-20-06, 07:37 PM		Nalfein: What's the situation?

Roosevelt: Get out of here! Are you insane?!

Nalfein: Yes.

Roosevelt: The squirrels are closing in, but the abberations have taken heavy losses.

Around them, several squirrel clerics attend to abberations that have become Pokemon look-a-likes. None seem harmed, but they all seem to be suffering from a kind of mental trauma stemming from the horrific-to-cute transformation.

Roosevelt: We'll have to leave it to the squirrels. They're the only things able to resist it.

Nalfein: (ignoring him) I'll take care of this. Cuddles!!

Cuddles: (appearing next to him) Yeah?

Nalfein: We're going in.

Roosevelt: (as they leave) Stop you fool!! Idiot. He's just going to fuel the fire.

Later, Nalfein and Cuddles drop in before B.T. Tony as he runs from the squirrel and ocelot forces.

Nalfein: Stop right there! You're not getting any-

B.T. Tony: OUTTA MY WAY YE DAFT WANKER! *KAZAP*

Nalfein and Cuddles are hit head on with the wand. Cuddles looks much like a Siberian Husky puppy, and Nalfein is chibified.

Nalfein: Son of a-! You're not getting away with that! FIREBALL!!!

Nalfein fires, but it comes out as a puff of glitter. Cuddles uses his ice breath weapon, but it comes out as gigantic snowflakes that float peacefully to the ground.

Nalfein: :weep: That is just WRONG!
Charles Phipps

05-20-06, 07:45 PM		OOC: This will probably be only funny to people who follow the Metal Gear Solid Quartet of Games.

Solid Serpent's War Journal
Day 366

I've been on this ship for approximately a year now since coming to avenge my father. The constant state of fear and dread has honned my fighting skills, paranoia, and survival techniques to razor sharp edges as I try to unravel the mystery of this ship and its evil ways.

My current theory is that I'm a clone created by my father whom was the original Ishmael "Big Cheeze" whom was a pawn of an organization known as the Aurrum which controls every single nation in the world, the economy, the media, magic, and the frosted flakes industry. The Big Cheeze was the greatest soldier in the world and his dominate and recessive genes were used to create me and my unknowing brother in the Half-Orc Doog whom possesses the superior genes but thinks that he has the inferior recessive ones.

I was dispatched here by the Aurrum under the guise of the Brelish government, which I didn't know actually was sending me on my private crusade, to disable this ship in the 'Solid Serpent Simulation' or S3 plan that would attempt to make me a replica of the original Ishmael by facing me against Ishmael's third clone in the super soldier Colonel Jarlot or Solidus Serpent.

This was all a cover up for 'Selection for Social Security' that was part of the Aurrum's plot to use the Forgotten Freedom as a massive booster for their psionic control of the world that combines the Aurrum with the plots in Sarlona. With the help of Ketler's sister Evey that was killed by an immortal Vampire bisexual artificer on board, I managed to disable that plan after shooting a fat man on rollerskates only to have to kill the unknown other triplet of my father!

I thought it was all over then and I could just live in peace with my tomboy girlfriend and creepy anime loving artificer friend when I discovered that this whole plot was actually thirty years old and related to the "Cheeze" that was Ishmael's mother and former commanding officer that Jarlot eliminated in order to stop a Mourning style war that was part of an elaborate scheme to get a billion gold pieces hidden by the Aurrum in the Dwarven Banking Clans. The barely dressed mother of Terra and a younger Crossbow Ocelot was also involved.

Now I'm currently suffering accelerated aging (I have TWO gray hairs) despite being in my twenties and this is no doubt Terra's revenge for her deceased but now warforged grafted brother Bruce Ki that resulted in me being infected with a special 'FF-die' virus that was designed to wipe out the ship's crew.

But what role do the constant appearance of Warforged Juggernauts play in this and where's Scully when you need her?



jarlot: *finishes reading latest entry* And Kanatash thinks he's the only person who can drive people crazy on this ship.

Ketler: Do you think our series of pranks on him has gone too far?

Jarlot: Hardly.

13: I AM THE CHILD OF KHYBER!

Jarlot: Yeah? So am I.

13: Eh?

Jarlot: Shoo.
rampant

05-20-06, 08:29 PM		Bolt tooth ducks into a dead end.

Bolt-tooth tony - Oh crap.

The calvalry doesn't follow.

SC trooper - :eek: SQUUEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAK

SC commander - SQUEAK SQUAK, Squeaken Squeakum Sqeeeakum!

The catapults are roled in.

SC Commander - Chirrup

The first pult fires.
miss.

Bolt tooth tony - Haha -OW-

The squirrel ravagers reaveal themselves.
Each wears spiked armor, and carries a pair of wicked blades or no weapons.

Ravager Pack master - CHIRRIP

Ravager pack descends upon Bolt-tooth.

SC COmmander - Chirrup

The catapults let loose their flaming ammo Bolt tooth can't dodge due to the fire immune savages tearing at his knees.

Lisa - I didn't know it was possible to be adorable while ripping out someone's tibula.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-20-06, 09:31 PM		Chibi Terra is currently being carried by Caralot, who is absolutely beside herself with joy. Unable to escape the deathgrip, she has instead managed to convince Caralot to take her to Allen's room while Lisa heads off to Ketler's.

Terra: So, any ideas?

Allen: I'd have to study it to be sure, but I think I could make an opposite.

Terra: Good. This is getting old really fast.

Caralot: But you're so CUTE! :cloud9:

Terra: :mad: Grrrrrr.....
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-21-06, 09:39 AM		Crow: Ooof! That move really took a lot out of me.

Silver: Well, we couldn't have Satnak knowing where we do the commentary. We have to have complete freedom to say things that might upset her.

Crow: Well exactly why does moving your node of non-existance involve so much heavy labor. Anyway, I thought we were going to have a scene in "The War with Myself".

Silver: You mean act alongside 13? Or Word Being? We don't have the dramatic chops for that.

Crow: Well I thought we were cast for the ending.

Silver: We got cut due to laziness. I think it worked out quite well.

Crow: Well I still haven't gotten to be much of a god yet. You have an alternate form. I just become a bunch of crows.

Silver: Beats being chibi.

Crow: You have to ask: who's more insane, the people on the FF or the people who write them.

Silver: I have two words for you: chibi Terra.

Crow: Chibi Terra with tentacles.

Silver: Combining the worst bits of cute anime with the worst bits of horrible hentai. That is an evil thought. :schemes: (hint hint) Okay, let's try another one: chibi Lisa.

Crow: Chibi Terra with tentacles and chibi Lisa.

Silver: :looloo: Just don't say chibi Jaela.

Crow: That's in the rules.

5691: Chibi Jaelas count as regular Jaelas for the purposes of all previous rules. (thank you Reman for noticing that loophole)

Crow: And I hope we haven't seen the last of Illis.

Silver: Why?

Crow: Because we never got to find out about Satnak atnd that kitten…
Kaizer_Ryu

05-21-06, 12:19 PM		Crow: Chibi Terra with tentacles.

Silver: Combining the worst bits of cute anime with the worst bits of horrible hentai. That is an evil thought. :schemes: (hint hint) Okay, let's try another one: chibi Lisa.

Crow: Chibi Terra with tentacles and chibi Lisa.

OOC: That...is...H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. :rofl: I have so many awful mental images from this little bit of insanity, I don't know where to begin. :D

Just to let everyone know, I don't really have any specific ending in mind for this. We can keep going for as long as you all want.

And While we're on the subject of Jaela: If Jarlot's her father, then that means...with the picture...he was...EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!! :yuck:

Ok. Now that I've stabbed out my mind's eye, I was wondering. Where's Skaravojen? You know, the Keeper's pet? He's supposed to follow her everywhere, right? Do I even want to know what he's been doing on this ship?
urial angel of death

05-21-06, 03:18 PM		Volrath is running through the ship, chibified. He looks sucpiciously like young Trunks, with black hair.
Volrath: Get it off me! Get it off me! Get it off me!
He bumbs into squinty, who looks like the beholder in the "My Little Pony RPG" april fools joke.
Both: AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
They both come crashing trought the wall into Allen's room. The crash creates anime style dust, but no actual debris.
Volrath: (looking at Terra) Oh you're so cute! :D
He hugs her, in a cute little death grip.
Terra: (bairly able to talk) Let go of me or you lose those tentacles.
rampant

05-21-06, 03:51 PM		As to the fate of Skaravojen :schemes:

In the depths of the FF The Skaravojn cowers in terror. A looming shadow can be seen stalking the shaking beast. The shadow strikes.

When the dust settles the Dragon Hound is covered in bright pink feathers stuck on with blue sovereign paint.

Chalky - You don't need a wand to chibify someone.
Albert

05-21-06, 04:25 PM		Bolt-Toothed Tony crawls away, trailing innards. Aeriths walks by, waves at him, continues onward.

A now fully-healed BTT stands up and looks at the wand, then at Aerith's back, then at the wand again.

"You really don't want to do that," she says.

He shrugs, then points the wand and zaps her.

Everything goes white.



When he regains awareness, BTT finds himself standing in a field of flowers, back-to-back with someone. Aside from the flowers, everything glows bright white.

"That was a very stupid thing to do, Tony," Aerith calmly announces.

"WTF! When did my hair become long, blond, and spiky?!" complains BTT.

"Genre trope. Don't worry about it. You realize you just linked me directly into the life of this world?"

"Uh, what?"

"As in, I am Aerith, your Goddess, thou shalt have no other Gods before Me."

"I did that?"

"The wand did, yes. And because of my non-interference stance, I can't do anything about it directly. I'm going to turn everything over to Brianna until this mess is taken care of."

Aerith sighs. "Listen. I'm not the rightful deity of this world. Get this problem fixed, or my first divine act will be to smite you. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go explain to all the real gods of Eberron why they can't get in touch with their priests."

And BTT finds himself back on the Forgotten Freedom, next to Brianna, who now looks like Chibi Aeris from the FF7 FMVs.



Consequences: Brianna is, for the moment, not possessed by Aerith. Brianna is the only divine spellcaster who can regain spells in all of Eberron. Brianna doesn't have divine fiat protecting her anymore, but she is a 16th level priestess. (Gained a few levels since coming on board.) All this will revert to normal when someone removes the Chibicurse from Aerith.

(Well - convincing Aerith to take spell requests from other divine spellcasters would sorta solve the second issue.)

-Albert
Charles Phipps

05-21-06, 05:56 PM		OOC: I still haven't seen this picture. If anyone wants to e-mail me it at charlie_the_cat_pooka@yahoo.com. I'm dreadfully curious.

IC:

Lisa: Jarlot!

Jarlot: Yo!

*kicks him in the nads*

Jarlot: OOOOOMPH!

Lisa: Get Aerith to take some spell requests for me.

Jarlot: OOoooo.

Lisa: I get prissy when I don't have my paladin aura.

Ninja Jaela: *swooshes in* Hey. I'm fine. However, Thrane may self destruct in a bit. The free health care has been a major selling point of the church there.
Phantomcrossing

05-21-06, 05:59 PM		Michael walks down the hallway wondering what to do with his time since the most recent batch of on ship chaos began...only to see Chibi Lisa and Chibi Terra talking about something. He stops, blinks, and turns around and begins walking very fast.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-21-06, 06:21 PM		OOC: That...is...H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. :rofl: I have so many awful mental images from this little bit of insanity, I don't know where to begin. :D
I have no shame. I'm glad I remembered that scene with Terra and Lisa and the plant tentacles. Insanity must be shared. :evillaugh

IC: Caralot has called a meeting of all the divine spellcasters.

Caralot: I would just like to propose that if you need a god for spells that I can get you a link with the Thyrs from my Eberron. It is unaffected by this cutoff. However there are some things you should know about. No, these are not holy commandments, Thyrs doesn't do much ordering around (or talking, for that matter), they are just warnings about what it's like to be linked to the Dragon of Water.

One: You will want to grow your hair long and get a tan. :cool:

Two: You may find yourself saying "Narley" and "Rightious" when you like something.

Third: Your vocabulary may diminish until you mostly use "like" and various exclamatory sounds to describe an event.

Fourth: Anytime you jump into waves you will hear a voice say "Wipeout!" followed by a piece of guitar music.

Fifth and most Important:You will have a compulsion to call everyone "Dude".

Now, are there any questions?
Kaizer_Ryu

05-21-06, 09:25 PM		Terra: (still in Caralot's deathgrip) I have a question!

Caralot: Yes, sweetie?

Terra: Stop calling me that. Will my spells still be cute if I ask Thyrs for them? I'm not about to start worshipping Aerith.

Caralot: You know, I'm not sure. Since Thyrs is not of this Eberron, it may not. But, since you would be using them in the adorable state you're in, it probably will.

Terra: Damn.
Crystalforged

05-21-06, 10:24 PM		Somewhere in the backrooms of Kelter's labritory Kanatash is hooked up to a vast number of strange machines, still unconsious. An IV runs into his arm from a bottle labled "Ishmael Jr." The Chibified Terra and Volrath are also in the room, partly checking on Kanatash and partly to see if Kelter can cure them somehow. Terra is on a temorary probation from Carlot to get news on Kanatash's condition while she helps with the conversion of other crew members to Thyrs.

Chibi Terra: So has there been any improvement since 13 was taken care of?

Kelter: (examining notes) His condition has stabalized but he still hasn't awakened. My theory is that suddenly being cut off like that was a massive shock to his system. Right now he's in a sort of Coma. There's no way of telling when he'll come out of it, if ever.

Chibi Volrath: Any ideas for a cure?

Kelter: Well... This is only speculation but since the first shock put him in a coma, a second shock, one of pure madness, might jolt him out of it. The only problem is the magnitued of the insanity he would have to be exposed to for it to work, even a return to Xoriat won't be enough.

Handily at this moment one of the alternate Kanatashes floats through one of the wall, the one who was a gibbering loony. All three of them look at each other for a moment and smile.

---

Shortly later Kanatash awakes to see the three of them standing over him and the mangled corpse of his alternate floating nearby.

Kanatash: (groaning) Ok, three questions. One, why do I feel like I just spent a night with Carlot without the pleasant bits? Two, (looking at Volrath and Terra) what the **** happened to you? Three, what is up with the corpse next to me that looks oddly familiar.

Chibi Volrath: Well, when 13 showed up on the scene you were cut off from all madness in the universe and kinda went into a coma. Don't worry, he's been dealt with.

Chibi Terra: As to our a appearances, some of the crew members have gotten their hands on a wand that changes people into cute, minature versions of themselve are causing mass chaos.

Kanatash: Sound like fun, and the corpse?

Chibi Volrath: Well... That was an alternate version of you. We used the madness from him to shock you out of your coma.

Kanatash: (raising eyebrow) And where precisely did this alternate version of me come from?

Volrath and Terra both look at each other nervously.

Chibi Volrath: Ugh... Heh, heh... You see thats the funny part, when things were looking rather grim with 13 we kinda went into your room and opened The Closet (tm)...

Kanatash: :headexplo WHAT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE!? I KEPT THAT THING CLOSE ONLY SO I COULD PREVENT OTHERS FROM REALEASING WHAT I SEALED BEHIND IT! HOW MANY DID YOU LET OUT!

Chibi Terra: (shrinking away) Precisely four. The one good news however is they have been thinned out a bit since then. The one next to you is obviously dead already. The second, a pure, virtuous version from before you went to Xoriat of you has already left the ship. Off aparently to fight the inspired. The third was a brain dead brute of a warrior which we managed to confine in the dimension of the Crystals.

Kanatash: I'm not sure thats a fate I'd wish even on a alternate. However you said there was a fourth.

Chibi Volrath: Before I tell you I just want to say you're REALLY not going to like it.

Chibi Terra: The fourth was... a hippy...

Kanatash: (reality rippling with his rage) WHAT! WHERE IS HE?! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM MYSELF!

Chibi Volrath: (shrinking away) Last I saw he was with John.

Kanatash takes off a top speed.

---

Meanwhile on the deck Hippy Kanatash, :coolcthul , and John are in a drum circle.

Hippy Kanatash: Whao dude, I like need some more of this grass here.

:coolcthul : Sweet Jeala man, you've already taken out my entire stash. Don't you think you've had enough?

John: And I've heard from Norbaz that he's having the pantry specifically warded against you because he says it can't take another muchy raid.

Hippy Kanatash: Whoa, like come on dude. That's not necessary. I left him some stuff and I even gave him a bit of the stash. I like did go back and get it but thats not whats important dude. I'm like at a state of inner peace and like one with the world dudes.

:coolcthul : You know I think I kind of liked the old Kanatash better. What do you think happened to him when 13 showed up?

Suddenly the real Kanatash bursts onto the deck. He tries to tackle Hippy Kanatash, but he bends over to pick up a joint he dropped and Kanatash shoots past him.

John: I suppose that answers your question. We have another alternate on our hands.

Kanatash screems a war cry and charges with a massive ax that he just pulled out of nowhere but this time Hippy Kanatash sneezes and falls out of the way as Kantash trips and stumbles off the side of the deck.

Kanatash: (eyes ablaze) That's it. No more mister nice guy.

Kanatash unleashes a blast of fire and light so intense that is visible from every single one of the five nations and the moons of Eberron as well. The heat from the blast causes all flamable materials within 100ft to char and blacken. The flare continues for several minutes before it finally abates, leaving Kanatash panting.

Hippy Kanatash: (unscathed) Whoa, that was pretty psychadelic. Like thanks for lighting my bong too dude.

Kanatash: WHY WON'T YOU DIE!



OOC: Please don't kill off any of the alternate Kanatashs, at least not right away. I am not sure but I am thinking of reusing them a few times. Feel free to use them any other way you see fit however.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-21-06, 11:31 PM		A chibi Kantash enters the mess hall where Caralot is answering some more quesitons on Thyrs. When she sees him she sueals in such a way that several crew members keel over and die. She snatches him up despite his incorporeality and before he can react.

Caralot: OhmygodyouaresuchthecutestthingohI'mneve rgoingtoletgoofyou!

Chibi Kantash: *anime sweat drop*

OOC: This is an Alt-Kantash, combining the madness of Xoriat with freaky chibi cuteness. I am so evil. :devil:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-21-06, 11:48 PM		Having finally been let go, Terra starts off to resume the search for B.T. Tony.

Terra: Finally, I can breathe again!

She disappears into the shadows, then reappears behind B.T., little shadow hearts announcing her arrival.

Terra: (angry pom) That's just wrong. (shakes her head) First things first...

She sends out her vines to ensnare him. They wrap around his leg, but due to the fact that they are now cute and round, she can't get a grip.

B.T. Tony: (slipping away) Ha-ha!

Terra: Son of a...! SQUEAKER SQUEAKEN!!!

B.T. Tony: Oh :censored: !

He takes off again, the squirrel forces in hot pursuit.
Albert

05-22-06, 12:17 AM		Kanatash: (eyes ablaze) That's it. No more mister nice guy.

Kanatash unleashes a blast of fire and light so intense that is visible from every single one of the five nations and the moons of Eberron as well. The heat from the blast causes all flamable materials within 100ft to char and blacken. The flare continues for several minutes before it finally abates, leaving Kanatash panting.

Hippy Kanatash: (unscathed) Whoa, that was pretty psychadelic. Like thanks for lighting my bong too dude.

Kanatash: WHY WON'T YOU DIE!



"Oh," the voice of AERITH GODDESS OF ALL fills the room, "that's because he managed to synchronize with me. A side effect of being so very stoned. He's managed to connect to the bond that I used to keep Brianna safe. Until someone rids me of this unwelcome deification, I'm afraid he's just about invincible."
Kaizer_Ryu

05-22-06, 12:51 AM		"Oh," the voice of AERITH GODDESS OF ALL fills the room, "that's because he managed to synchronize with me. A side effect of being so very stoned. He's managed to connect to the bond that I used to keep Brianna safe. Until someone rids me of this unwelcome deification, I'm afraid he's just about invincible."

Terra: You've got to be kidding me! You mean that I'm essentially creating an endless supply of defacto worshippers for you?!

Voice of Aerith: Though most aren't doing it on purpose...yes, you could say that.

Terra: This is, by far, the most evil side-effect of that blasted stick. Even moreso than what happened to Sa'vor...

Sa'vor is chibi. The ruby on his armor is heart shaped, and runes on his body are now Hello Kitty logos.

Sa'vor: I have seen horrors beyond imagining, but this is just too much!
Charles Phipps

05-22-06, 01:22 AM		Jarlot: Yo!

Ketler: What the hell are you wearing?

Jarlot: My pontiff of the Church of Aerith attire.

Ketler: Ammo belts and military fatigues?

Jarlot: We're a very denominational religion. I figure if I'm going to make a religion then it might as well be based on revenge, sex, booze, and firearms.

Ketler: We already have Dol Dornism.

Jarlot: Eh not since they started letting in THOSE people.

Ketler: What do you mean....THOSE people?

Jarlot: You know who I mean.

Ketler: No I really don't.

Jarlot: Martians.

Ketler: ...what?

Jarlot: Those filthy green skinned, flying saucer riding, Ares worshipping Red Planet Dwellers! They almost disgust me as much as tentacled horrors!

Ketler: You're just mad because tenatcled horrors get more than you.

Jarlot: Oh that reminds me, I have to go free Tiffa from Bob.

Ketler: Huh?

Jarlot: You know the usual "I've secretly cared for you all along. Don't give into hate" stuff. I should have done it immediately but I was mooning over Aerith.

Jaela: Ummm....is it true you're my dad?

*looking identical to Ruri from Nadesico*

Jarlot: Yes it is. Which means that YES, you're the daughter of Darkness' Champion AND Lights.

Jaela: Which means?

Jarlot: Absolutely nothing surprisingly. Just a fun fact.

Ketler: So...despite your petite size and seeming lack of growth, you're 18 now. Want to...

Jaela: Flame priests are celibate.

Ketler: :banghead: :hoppingma :censored: :rant: :raincloud

*walks away*

Jarlot: No they aren't.

Jaela: I like Ketler but he really is an idiot and is easy to screw with.
rampant

05-22-06, 01:41 AM		BTT - Oh Crap

Sqrl Pack Master - SQUEAK :tongue: (aims wand)
Albert

05-22-06, 02:42 AM		Terra: You've got to be kidding me! You mean that I'm essentially creating an endless supply of defacto worshippers for you?!

Voice of Aerith: Though most aren't doing it on purpose...yes, you could say that.

Terra: This is, by far, the most evil side-effect of that blasted stick. Even moreso than what happened to Sa'vor...

Sa'vor is chibi. The ruby on his armor is heart shaped, and runes on his body are now Hello Kitty logos.

Sa'vor: I have seen horrors beyond imagining, but this is just too much!


AERITH: Just be grateful Tony hasn't used the wand on Tifa/Bob.
rampant

05-22-06, 04:20 AM		Chalky Comes screaming out of the corridors, persued by squirrel hordes, the leade rof which is brandishing a now familiar wand.

Chalky - Keep them away from me!!!

Squishy - Best show all year. (munches popcorn and follows)
urial angel of death

05-22-06, 07:03 AM		The squirrel leader is shooting blast after blast at B.B.T., but each one is missing. So far Ketler has become a little kid with glasses as big as he is. Chalky is an anime style puppy, that Squishy is chasing with a carving knife and fork. Jaela was hit but stayed exactly the same. Tabitha has become Talim from soul caliber. :coolcthul is now drawn in Hello Kitty style with bows in his tentacles. Silence has beeen chibified and all of her piercings turned into clip ons, featuring hearts and bright colors. Finally no ones mouths even seem to form words anymore. They just move up and down and voices come from the background.
Chrys

05-22-06, 09:02 AM		AERITH: Just be grateful Tony hasn't used the wand on Tifa/Bob.
' :D Well I was going to leave them out of this but :D ... oh Jarlot can try to split Tifa and Bob all he wants but it anin't going to happen :P

Edit:
Bolt tooth dives in to Beryl’s manifest zone to escape, when looks up and see Beryl looking over her army of transformed red shirts who are standing across from a band of red shirt dressed up look like Devas and Archons but strangely P/Y/R is no where to be seen.

Bolt points the wand at Beryl and fires… and then in a puff of pinks smoke Chibi Black foxed furred girl sit in her place, she does make any movement.

Then all of the sudden P/Y/R appears from behind Bolt and casts her dominate spell, and then says “I’ll take the wand I had enough of being sickening cute when I was the pixies. Oh you should go over to the bar and wait for the others to find you, make sure to tell them that mommy now has the wand.”

After Bolt leaves P/Y/R turn to her mother and says, “Why did you let the spell hit you?”

Beryl: Because my dear, I am a bit like a blue mage. I can absorb spell and then cast them again latter *she waves her hand and all the ‘demons’ become chibifed. *

P/Y/R: So what do you want to do with the wand…

Beryl Changes back to her normal self by reversing the spell that’s now in her body and says: Well I figure we could use it in trade…

P/Y/R: ohhh can I trade it for Volrath?

Beryl: Sure I don’t see why not.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-22-06, 10:35 AM		OOC: So, who has the wand now? The squirrels or P/Y/R? Maybe...the squirrels stole it from P/Y/R before the trade and the time fluctuations on the ship from 13 have yet to fully disperse? :D
JakeQuistis

05-22-06, 12:02 PM		Allen is hard at work on making a cure for the cuteness! Using samples from Chibi Terra and Chibi Volrath, he is working out a way to uncute them.... There are several failed experiments, with the samples becoming cuter, turning into squirrels, and in one case, spontaneously combusting into tapdancing penguins. Fortunately, Allen finall made a cure... Somewhat.
"I have it! This wand is capable of uncuteifying things. The way it works is like this. If everyone starts off at a 0 level of cute, then the Cute ray increases that level, while this wand lowers that level. So use it responsibly!" Allen says, handing it to Terra and wandering back off to his room to repair the damage wall.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-22-06, 12:25 PM		OOC: So, who has the wand now? The squirrels or P/Y/R? Maybe...the squirrels stole it from P/Y/R before the trade and the time fluctuations on the ship from 13 have yet to fully disperse? :D
OOC: Ooooooooo! You shouldn't have said that. :evillaugh :schemes:

IC: Jaela waits until Jarlot has left. Then 13 pushes back the covers on her bed.

13: Is he gone? *It's voice sounds like music barely within any hearing.*

Jaela: Yes.

Her clothes disappear and she jumps back into bed.

OOC: You may do whatever you want with this.
Crystalforged

05-22-06, 01:35 PM		OOC: Ooooooooo! You shouldn't have said that.

IC: Jaela waits until Jarlot has left. Then 13 pushes back the covers on her bed.

13: Is he gone? *It's voice sounds like music barely within any hearing.*

Jaela: Yes.

Her clothes disappear and she jumps back into bed.

OOC: You may do whatever you want with this.
OOC: SilvercatMoonpaw, you possibly the first person I have encountered with a mind so truely sick and twisted that it rivals my own. :tiphat:
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-22-06, 02:18 PM		OOC: SilvercatMoonpaw, you possibly the first person I have encountered with a mind so truely sick and twisted that it rivals my own. :tiphat:
OOC: Nah, that was nothing. I'm actually embarrassed :embarrass because there are so many evil things I could do with that, yet I can't think of any.

"Genius, insanity, they're both on the same side of the line."

It's really easy. All you have to do is stop thinking of things as wrong. Then just write down what your imagination tells you.

For example, my mind is telling me that Lisa could get pregnant…
Crystalforged

05-22-06, 02:37 PM		OOC: Lisa pregnant? Bah, that's nothing. I have a plotline where Kanatash gets pregnant in the works.

On a side note I work similarly, I just let my mind wander where it will and check occasionally to see what it brough back.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-22-06, 03:08 PM		OOC: Lisa pregnant? Bah, that's nothing. I have a plotline where Kanatash gets pregnant in the works.

On a side note I work similarly, I just let my mind wander where it will and check occasionally to see what it brough back.
OOC: You see! How can you compare yourself to me. You're much better at this than I am.

Besides, I can't start another pregnancy story right now.

IC:
Jarlot: So what sorts of losses did we take with 13.

Kithle: None. Unlike most of our foes, 13 had no real interest in killing our crew. No one got injured. The went right back together. We're taking heavier losses from this Chibi Wand.

Caralot: I seriously hope we don't get into a battle any time soon. Mickey won't convert to Thyrs worship, and he ran out of potions during the attack by the C'tan.

"AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! !!!!!"


Jarlot: WTF was that?

Caralot: Aerith's.

Jarlot: Aerith's what?

Caralot: First contraction.

Kithle: You mean that the only current god of Eberron is about to have a child?

Caralot: Yeah. I think it's Saberiel's, thought it coud be mine.

Kithle: You don't know?

Caralot: Let's see, there was Saberiel, myself, :coolcthul , John, and the black—

Jarlot: John, you mean the— :ghosted:

Caralot: Oh, that didn't come out right. I was only stating the membership of our support group.
Crystalforged

05-22-06, 04:08 PM		Kanatash floats into the chamber at this time.

Kanatash: (looking down at Jarlot's remains) Nice work on that one honey.

Carlot: KANI-POO! It's so nice to see you back on your feet.

Kanatash : It's nice to BE back on them despite the issue with these ****ing alternates. I have something for you here dear.

He pulls out a number of small crystal globes with metal covers.

Kanatash: Since there is no telling how long that Chibi wand is going to be around I had Kelter make a few storage globes for you. They even come with an optional stasis/sustanance effect for long term storage.

Carlot: Thank you, dear. I think I know just where to use them (smiles evily while snatching the jars)

Kanatash: A moment, there is one condition with these jars. Please don't try and collect any of the more prominent crew members. It's just not worth the reprecussions and the plot devices.

Carlot: Awww! I really wanted to collect Terra though.

Kanatash: I know, but at least there are plenty of underused crew members to snatch as well as a few others no one will miss. For example, right now I don't think anyone will object if you deciede to collect Bolt-Tooth Tony. (evil smile)

Carlot: I suppose you're right, (hugging Kanatash) it's nice to have you back on your feet regaurdless.

Kanatash: (sweeping her off her feet and laughing huskily) Perhaps I won't be on my feet for very long.

Carlot: (retuning his husky laugh) No, perhaps you won't.
Chrys

05-22-06, 05:08 PM		Chibi-Balor: Um mistress, I am grateful too sever you… I mean most red shirt do not have that long of shelf life. As long as I am in this form I do not have much to fear… except for the other unber… But why Am I chibi and…

Beryl: Well mainly because my new pseudo nemesis Carlot will think you cute and then you either have a huge advantage fighting her… or she’ll hug you to death and your death burst will at lest take something.

Chibi-Balor: Ah, ok. Second Um…Could I be one of those snake lady demons instead of a Balor…

Beryl: A Meilith? Why you would be less powerful…

Chibi-Balor: Well I don’t really like being male mistress…

Beryl: Oh is that all * waves her hand a Chibi-Balor is now female* Better?

Chibi-Balor: Yes mistress. Why is Carlot our nemesis?

Beryl: Because I’m bored, and I’m not going to match wits with Terra as long as P/Y/R wants to date/Dominate Volrath… no point in making them choose between us. But and even better reason is because she was trying to get people t o worship her god instead of me!

Chibi-Balor: but your not a Goddess…

Beryl: Demon lords can grant spell up to a point… sure I can only grant up to second rank spell right now… but it’s the principal of the thing!

Chibi-Balor: Instead of warring with some one who has both the Mad one and the Angel on there side how about you make a few of us loyal red shirt Clerics and we can go spred you faith to the others…I was a preitess of the Fury before you took my soul so…

Beryl * with a cocked eye brow * Ok its worth a short…Plus I think it be kinda funny to se the look on Lisa face when you go around casting converting the masses.

[Chibi-Balor: Cleric of Beryl 3/red shirt 1/ Balor 10 :cool: Convet to the Church of Beryl because we have evil cake. :cool: ]
urial angel of death

05-22-06, 05:30 PM		I used to let my mind wander. That was until it brought back a human leg. Now I keep my mind on a short chain.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-22-06, 05:54 PM		I used to let my mind wander. That was until it brought back a human leg. Now I keep my mind on a short chain.
OOC: Oh, you shouldn't have done that. Who knows, it might have brought back the entire human.

IC:Satnak enters the room behind the bar. Caralot has led her there at the request of Erk. Satnak isn’t sure what’s going on, but the fact that Caralot is carrying her black water means it isn’t likely to be good.

Old Hag’s Voice: Hehehe, welcome, my pretty.

Satnak stops at the sight of the Word Being standing hunched over a bubbling cauldron and wearing a pointed black hat. The hat has a sign on it saying “There is a fine line between genius and insanity. Why is this statement redundant?”

Satnak: I do not like the look of that hat.

Word Being: Ah, well you’re not here for comments on the getup. It’s all necessary by the way. You’re here to avoid any unpleasantness later on. Eliminate the middle thing, if you will. You see, we are going to create a new being here, using the remains of 13 and Caralot’s piece of the black water.

Satnak: WTF? That thing brushed-off Kithle, almost caused the FF to fall apart, and comaed Kantash just by standing near him.

Word Being: And you and Illis would have likely dealt with him. Face it, Satnak, this ship is never in any real danger. We’ve dodged beings from Xoriat, Dal Quor, the shadow plane, stuff from who knows where, and in between we have to deal with things like the Wand of Cuteness.

Caralot: :love:

Word Being: If we create another 13 you’ll just kill it. I’m not stupid. I could be infinitely more powerful if I took that route. So don’t treat me like I haven’t considered the consequences. That’s another reason you’re here: so that you know ahead of time and can plan accordingly.

Satank: Are you going to do it now? Because I want to be here when you screw up.

Word Being: Oh, I have to put the preparations on hold. Tonight’s karaoke night, and Jarlot is determined to sing this time.
Endless_Helix

05-22-06, 05:55 PM		Jaela: Ho Hum... What to do next?

Klaz: Crikey, look what we 'ave 'ere mates! It's a pontiff!

Vrin: Dude, it's Jaela! What are you doing on the ship? *Drops the black box wth a lense on it, y'know, the one he always carries around*

Jaela: Oh Shavrath... Wait, are you the one who likes dinosaurs?

Klaz: Actually, I'm a reptophiliac, meaning I love dinos very, very much. But we have more important things to talk aboot 'ere.

Jaela: Flame preserve me... what do you want? I mean, you're not like Ketler who wants to put me in a "plud suit" or whatever, or the rest of the crew who blatantly want to get *blushes* into bed with me, so...

Vrin: I'll take you up on the offer Jae...*Klaz hits Vrin over the head with a small piece of paper, wrapped in a pink ribbon that reads "Retirement Plan*

Jaela: Err... what is that?

Klaz: Somefin' you sent Mr.Capitan during his evil genius turned musician phase. Crikey, it's pretty temptin' I mus' say. A picture.

Jaela: What are you talking abou... oh... THAT'S NOT FAIR!

Klaz: Just cuz I'm stoopid don't mean I'm dumb. This here picture of you could be pretty incriminating, so I'll just give you my demands.

*hands Jaela a list, scrawled accross a bar tab*

Jaela: Hmmm.... Klaz Dingbo, owes seventeen thousa...

Klaz: Crikey! Othah side there, gel! Othah side!

Jaela: Oh... *out loud* Klaz Dingbo's Demands

1. Reptophilia be legalized in Thrane.
2. Pay Klaz Dingbo one half of the Church of the Silver Flame's Treasury
3. Give Klaz Dingbo rulership of Thrane
4. **** Klaz Dingbo, Ketler, Tara, and Klaz's favorite dino, Shiela, and have Vrin Film it.


Klaz: You missed one.

Jaela: That one's not fit to read.

Klaz: Suit yerself.

Jaela: I think you are a perverted, heretical, son of a ***** and I am going to kill you.

Klaz: No you're not.

Jaela: Yes I am.

Klaz: Nuh-Uh.

Jaela: Yes, I am.

Klaz: Liar, liar pants on fiyah.

Vrin: But she's not wearing pants... it's a skirt...

Jaela: How very observant of you... I'm going to kill you too.

Klaz: I brought reifohcements.

Ketler: Come to papa.

Kantash: Look, this sounded a bit more fun than how Klaz has run it so far, but the results are promising. Perhaps I can reap some usable insanity from your corpse.

Kithle: I just want to get your brain. Then I'll be able to channel the Silver Flame!

Jaela: Hmmmm... I think I'll be going now. Bye! *Teleport*

Klaz: Damn.
urial angel of death

05-22-06, 06:30 PM		The mental image of chibi Ketler saying "Come to Papa" is one of the greatest things ever!!! :clap: :rofl: :dancin: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
rampant

05-22-06, 07:35 PM		Kithle - WTF was that? Which one of you bozos spiked my lemonade? No takers? *oblivion thread*

Kithle manifests his mindblade and launches a quick volley of blows that strikes everyone in the room. The wounds glitter with non-existance.

Kithle - Ok you arsewipes. Everytime for the next 24 hrs any damage or negative effect that hits one of you, gets the lot of you. That includes cutening. To heal you all have to recieve it at the same time and only the lowest amount healed counts. You won't be able to remove it without a 48 hr ceremony, so don't bother. Try not to die if you do the rest go with youth. Note the thread will link you in the afterlife as well. If you die during its duration, it becomes permanent, unless all of you get raised, and that only works if you all get raised at the same time. I have a pontif to apologive to. Bye. (teleport)

Klaz - He got the pic.

Vrin - that bastard

------------

Kithle - I'm so sorry for my lack of decorum. I think one of those nutjobs spiked my lemonade. I hope this makes up for it.

Kithle sets scroll in jeala's hand

Jeala - Huh? where'd you come from?
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-22-06, 07:52 PM		Jaela appears back in her room, holding the scroll from Kithle. 13 is reading something in bed. It is the list of rules, with the ones reguarding Jaela highlighted. For some strange reason he's dressed in a Thrannish school-girl outfit.

Jaela: Why is this crew so obsessed with me?

13: You're a religious leader, you're underage, and you're hot. I'd mention that you're female, but I take that as a given. Most of these guys don't get any.

Jaela: Well no wonder, being perverts who lust after young women.

13 gestures at the outfit he's wearing.

13: Who told me to put this on?

Jaela: :blush:

13 gets up. "Makes me wonder about those rumors. In any event, I have a plan."

Just then the Klaz, Kantash, Ketler, and Vrin burst into the room.

Kantash: You cannot escape! I will know the secret to your picture!

13: :whatsthis

Kantash: Ah! No, Caralot and I had plans this evening to—

Jaela: Please do not continue that thought.

Klaz: (turning to Vrin and motioning him to put up the box) Crikey! This here fokes is one of the legendary progenitor dragons—

13: Why don't we skip to the step where you make me annoyed and go right to the part where I exact my horrible vengance? Because we're already there. Jaela, may I see the piece of paper?

Jaela hands him Klaz's demands.

13: "Klaz Dingbo owes seventeen thousand in drink fees plus one thousand for cleanup of—"

Klaz: Othath side! (sweat)

13 slowly reads the list. Meanwhile Klaz and Vrin maneuver into flanking positions.

13: I seriously hope you two aren't going to do anything stupid. Not only am I now completely in control of myself, but I have the love of Jaela to support me.

Ketler: The love of— :OMG! :crazy: Hehehaha! Hellew mister purple dinosaur. I love you too. La la la…

Kantash mercifully scrambles his brain.

13 (back to reading the list): You have got to be kidding me on these.

Klaz: No way, mate. I've got all the blackmail I need right—

13: What's the fun of #1 if it's legal. Half the fun is that you're not allowed to do it. #2 is ludicrous because all Thrane has to do is give you all its cursed magic items and you'll be dead within a week. And as for #3, you do realize that most worshippers of the Silver Flame are completely boring?

Klaz: Ah…

Jaela: It's true. I should know.

Klaz: Well, I'll still hold out for numbah 4.

13 burns up the list.

13 (calmly): No. Not going to happen. I'm the only one Jaela wants right now.

Klaz: Well, I hate to do this to ya…

Kantash: Oh, please no! (he shuts his eyes and puts up several mental shields over his mind)

Klaz unwrapps the "retirement plan".

Klaz:…just try not ta get ya guts all over Jaela. On second thought, people'll pay good money for that. Ha!

Klaz brandishes the photo like its an apocalyptic spell.

13: :bored: Is that all? (he takes a closer look at the photo) Wow! My little silver firecracker, I never knew you could do this. :drool:

Jaela: :blush: Well……I was saving it…………

Kantash: How can you not be affected by the mad power of that image?

13: I saw the suffering of everyone throughout time. Plus Jaela'nd I have been doing some things.

Kantash "does a Lucky".

13 goes over to a large book. It seems to continueously smoke. 13 opens it and the ceiling above begins to warp.

Klaz: What eva you think you 'ave, bring it out.

13: Ah, here we are. (he takes one picture out and brings it over)

Even Ketler, driven mad, has enough sense to leave the room.

Vrin: Uh, Klaz, you know, what he's got might be more kinky—

Klaz: Pfft. (he points his thumb at his chest) My pursuation makes me immune to anything you humanoids can come up with. Bondage, macho/sadism, dress-up, you name it. Rep-to-phillic.

13: You know, Mr. Dingbo, it's very odd that you should say that. After all—(he hold up the picture)—I am a dragon.

Klaz: :88E:

13: Now Mr. Vrin (lowers the picture), will you kindly excort our now completely sane dinosaur hunter away. Jaela and I would like a private moment.

Vrin (wisely closed his eyes early and is still keeping them closed) salutes and drags Klaz off. He tries not to think too much.

Jaela wait a few moments, then plucks the picture from 13's paw.

Jaela: Which one is th—oh, yeah. You know, I'm still not sure how we did this.

13: You're saying that time you spent with the couatl didn't happen?

Jaelae: That's nothing compared to this…
Kaizer_Ryu

05-22-06, 09:13 PM		For example, my mind is telling me that Lisa could get pregnant…

OOC: Don't tempt me. :schemes: Though I do have a little something in the works for after the chibi arc is done. Speaking of which...

IC:

(the following takes place in Sylvan)

Squirrel Commander: *salutes* Ma'am! We have the wand and the perpetrator in custody!

Chibi Terra: Well done, soldier. You all will be greatly rewarded for your valiant efforts.

SC: All in the line of duty ma'am.

(back to common)

Chibi Lisa: You sure this will work?

Chibi Terra: Yeah. I tested it out on Ketler first. I just wanted to have both in my hands before I changed anyone else back. You know, in case of a mishap.

Chibi Andrea: You better not screw this up. I want my goddess-like looks and impressive bust back ASAP.

Chibi Terra: So do I. :devil:

Chibi Andrea: :mad: :blush:

Consequences: All crew hit by the wand are now cured (except for B.T.Tony, he can rot for a while). Aerith is now no longer the Goddess of Everything and is back with Brianna. Terra now has both wands for safe keeping. I'm not telling you where she keeps them, just don't expect this to be the last you see of this little joke. :plotting:
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-22-06, 09:21 PM		OOC: Don't tempt me. :schemes: Though I do have a little something in the works for after the chibi arc is done. Speaking of which...
My work in that area is done. :pint:

Oh, and
Chibi Andrea: You better not screw this up. I want my goddess-like looks and impressive bust back ASAP.

Chibi Terra: So do I. :devil:

Chibi Andrea: :mad: :blush:
You will regret that. :shifty:
Charles Phipps

05-22-06, 09:25 PM		*in coffee room*
*The very mortal Aerith and Jaela talk*

Aerith: So what do you think of the constant attempts to make us act OOC.

Jaela: Hmmm?

Aerith: You know, me being an enormous ****...which almost would work except for the fact that they tried to pair me with Kanatash of all people.

Jaela: Caralot and Kanatash work.

Aerith: Yes because both of them are completely messed up. I still think he's a monster though and he can't stand female touch. Which is probably why Caralot uses tentacles.

Jaela: I didn't need that mental image.

Aerith: It's part of the problem with being in a shared universe

Jaela: Isn't that Charles' Author company?

Aerith: *waves up at DM* No using us to advertise your gawd damned books.

Charles Phipps:: Sorry.

Aerith: So where was I?

Jaela: Character assassination.

Aerith: Yes, so this is one of the wackier plotlines. One I personally intend to treat like Skinner not being really Skinner, something that nevverrrrr happened.

Jaela: But did it happen? Like Gwen Stacy having the Green Goblins babies?

Jarlot and Charles shout from off camera: THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Aerith: that depends on the writer and fan acceptance. I mean, you wouldn't think Lisa being in a same sex relationship would be one of our more touching stories but there it is.

Jaela: I'm Jarlots daughter now. I find that creepy on many levels.

Aerith: Especially since the Elvis thing seems pretty much canon.

Jaela: So some stuff is real and some stuff is not based on how the character would react....

Aerith: We're in the realm of Uncertainty Principle on this ship pretty much now. Lisa for example could be written as sleeping with jarlot but we know THAT won't happen.

Jaela: Because its a character trait that she only has slept with Michael and Terra?

Aerith: Exactly.

Doog: *from behind a nearby closet* Oh hush you two, I ended up becoming gay somehow.

Aerith: But yes, if you suddenly made Ketler not an anime geek or a buffed up guy it would be reversed...sort of like any cure to the Thing's rocky state.

Jaela: Physics is hard. I wonder how we can tell what's permanent character traits and what's not.

Aerith: Difficult to say. It only happens when it happens but at heart there has to be a bit of normality on the ship or otherwise no serious plots would work.

Jaela: We need some stability to be the most crazy?

Aerith: Yep.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-22-06, 09:51 PM		You will regret that. :shifty:

OOC: Who says I didn't do it on purpose? :devil: And here's part one of that little something I had in mind...

IC:

Michael sits in the bar, trying to drown out both the image of Lisa and Terra as chibi's and of his own time spent as one. When your sword (which should burn with the fires of darkness) glows pink and looks plastic, you know you need a stiff drink.

Doog: Hey, man! So this is where you've been.

He sits down next to Michael and orders a beer for each of them.

Michael: (chugs) That whole deal was just wrong...

Doog: You think you had it bad! Be glad you didn't see what I looked like. Half-Orcs just shouldn't be cute, I'll tell you that.

Michael: I can't seem to get that image out of my head. It's just so...so wrong! How could I sleep with her now? I mean, every time I'll just-

Michael sits up suddenly. To Doog he seems to be looking off into the distance, but in reality, he's having a rather vivid vision.

Doog: You ok?

Michael: *smiles* Yeah, I'm great. I gotta go, man. I'll see you later.

Michael gets up and leaves in a bit of a hurry.

Doog: Wha-?
Crystalforged

05-22-06, 10:29 PM		Somewhere in the depths of Kanatash and Carlot's shared room there is a shelf with a dozen crystal globes. Within each a Chibified figure stands. Most are redshirts but within one the figure of Bolt-tooth Tony is visible.

BT Tony: Help? Someone, anyone? Please, let me out.

Suddenly an evil laugh sounds from the darkness nearby and Carlot emerges.

Carlot: Oh, I'll let you out. We're going to have some fun my little bundle of cuteness. :evillaugh

BT Tony: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
Kaizer_Ryu

05-22-06, 11:38 PM		Carlot: Oh, I'll let you out. We're going to have some fun my little bundle of cuteness. :evillaugh

BT Tony: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

In the words of The Legendary Frog's Sauron: DUDE, THAT'S EVIL.

Terra: :clap: :evillaugh

And on to part two...

IC:

The next day, Michael is wandering the corridors, stumbling about as if drunk (which, though it's only 10am, is a strong possibility). Noticing the distinct lack of alcohol smell, plus the unmistakable scent of Lisa's perfume, plus another one he couldn't quite place, Ketler walks up to him.

Ketler: Hey, you ok? You look awful. Did something bad happen with Lisa?

Michael shakes his head no and looks up at him, exhausted but grinning.

Michael: I just had...the most incredible night...in the history of ANYTHING! I didn't sleep a wink! You wouldn't believe some of the stuff they do!

Ketler: :confused: They...? :OMG! You don't mean...!

Michael: I thought I'd seen it all, but damn if that druidess isn't a freaky one.

At this point, Terra walks by.

Terra: *smiling* I'm glad you enjoyed it. *continues walking*

Ketler: :confused: I thought she hated you.

Michael: Amazing what one selfless act will get you, isn't it? And she's the one who invited me!

Ketler: How? When? You were at the bar until late last night, and no one saw her there.

Michael: That's the beauty of it. She sent the invitation to me Psionically. That was one hell of an invitation. :devil:

Ketler: ...any chance you'd share what it was? :bigeyes:

Michael: No way in hell. :P
Charles Phipps

05-23-06, 12:44 AM		Jarlot: Ten to one Michael just had tea.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-23-06, 12:52 AM		Jarlot: Ten to one Michael just had tea.

OOC: If that's what you want to believe. ;) I purposely left it up to everyones imagination. Mostly because I don't want to do anything beyond PG-13, but also because there are things my character does while my mind wanders even I don't want to know about. :D I should probably follow Urial's lead and at least keep an eye on it, but where's the fun in that?

And don't think I'm done with this either. Poor Michael's got his work cut out for him... :schemes:
rampant

05-23-06, 02:01 AM		Psion its called Microcosm and related powers such as false sensory intput.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-23-06, 02:11 AM		OOC: Yeah, I know. She hacked into his mind (which isn't very hard with Michael), showing him something he wasn't really seeing. A sensation or situation that wasn't really there at the time. Kind of a 'wink wink, nudge nudge' type deal. What it was is up to you. As is, as Jarlot hinted at, whether what happened next was real or not. She could be messing with him, she could be totally serious. It will become clear in time.
urial angel of death

05-23-06, 07:21 AM		Ketler is sit in the library, staring off into space.
Volrath: What's wrong? You're coming here almost as often as the hobo redshirts.
Ketler: Jaela and 13, a... (breaks down into tears)
Volrath: Oh come one. Women aren't that hard to steal.
Ketler: Wha?
Volrath: You just have to not be quite so... aggressive.
Ketler: Like you would know :rolleye2:
Volrath: I do to.
Ketler: Yeah right, who have you ever been with.
Volrath: Braids, Kerrigan, random school girl #7
Ketler: All from alternate universes, dead, or both. No way to prove anything.
Volrath: I'll show you. I have image crystals.
Ketler: Where?
Volrath: Well... In Terra's room. She says I'm not mature enough to keep any image crystal I use, no matter how trivial.
Ketler: Then go get one.

A few moments later in Terra's room.
Volrath is rumaging through a dresser. Several disarmed traps lay on the ground behind him.
Volrath: I'll show Ketler, he'll see.
He pulls out a violet image crystal.
Volrath: Bingo!
He turns it on. Coming from it is the image of Terra and Lisa talking to each other.
Volrath: (So full of rage he completely ignores what is being said on the crystal.) That ***** she taped over my crystal, I would... (looks back at crystal) Wow, that's kinky. I haven't seen Terra bend like that sense... Lisa isn't that against your religion... You're not going to, oh you are, oh (shudders).
Lisa bursts into the room.
Lisa: :headexplo You pervert!!!
Volrath: :eek: This isn't what it looks like!
Volrath takes off running, with Lisa and her hammer in hot pursuit.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-23-06, 07:58 AM		Crow: Did you do something to the crew?

Silver: Why?

Crow: They're obsessed with :pile: .

Silver: I know. It's great.

Crow: Yeah. I hope they never figure out they're just entertainment. But it's too bad the chibi thing is over.

Silver: Chibi Terra with tentacles and Cibi Lisa. That will go down in history.

Crow: What will do down in history is Jaela finally having a confirmed significant other. But I have a question: doesn't this count as insect?

Silver: Insect?

Crow: You know what I mean. Trying to keep the post :cloud9:, and all that. You're a fertility god. This is your portfolio. Actually about the only thing in your porfolio.

Silver: Between the time warps and the fact that progenitor dragons aren't the same materially as mortals—and Jarlot has to be lying about being the child of Khyber—it's about the same as Jaela being with a Khyber dragonshard.

Crow: I think we've created enough disturbing mental images.

Silver: No. No we haven't. :devil:

Crow: I just hope no one messes with the 13/Jaela plotline too much. Jaela was a character on this thread long before anyone else. It's about time she had someone. Why can't it be the guy who once hated the church with enough passion to want to utterly erase it from time?

Silver: I will ask this question again: what did you do to Jaela?

Crow: I'd like to state for the record that she came with that school-girl obsession.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-23-06, 09:40 AM		Crow: Did you do something to the crew?

Silver: Why?

Crow: They're obsessed with :pile: .

Silver: I know. It's great.

After being turned chibi for a few days (that's about how long I figure that took), wouldn't you be? At least, that's how I explain Terra and Lisa's behavior. As Aerith said, she and Jaela were OOC at that time. I believe Alt-Aerith's and -Jaela's are at fault with those ones. Which would mean...we now have three Jaela's on board. And Ketler still has no chance. :P
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-23-06, 11:16 AM		I believe Alt-Aerith's and -Jaela's are at fault with those ones.
OOC: Aw, it's no fun if mine's an alternate. :weep: It doesn't have the same impact. Unless the Jaela that took the picture is the same Alt-Jaela. :plotting: Hmm, this could be fun. But for making me cry, you will suffer for your time-warp idea……again.

IC: Erk steps onto the bar stage. He bellows once to silence the room, then gestures for Lucky to come up.

Lucky (using an amulet of ventirloquism): Well, as you all know we've been having a vote on the name for the bar. It appears the votes were in about a week ago, and no one has submitted any more. Therefore I have the pleasure of anoincing that this establishment is now formally known as Erk's Place.

*roar of approval, stamping of mugs, drunken falling over*

Erk looks very proud.

Lucky: I would like to remind everyone that tonight is the costume contest. After last week's horrible fiasco, there are a few new rules:
1. No saying you are dressed up as yourself.

Jarlot and Alt-Jarlots: Aw, man.

Lucky: 2. No dressing up as a horrible vision of unknowability in an attempt to drive the judges insane and thus be declared the winner by default.

Kantash: Hmph.

Lucky: 3. Ketler is not allowed to dress up as Jaela.

Ketler (already dressed up as Jaela): But I AM Jaela. Really, I've got the pontiff hat and the pontiff robe and the pontiff staff and…
Phantomcrossing

05-23-06, 11:53 AM		One morn, Norbaz rumages through his mail.

Norbaz: Bill, bill, summons to court, bill, order confirmation, ooooo, a job.

Deftly the cooky opens the envelope.

...

Norbaz: Dreadhold...Someone wants me to off a prisoner in dreadhold?! What...a bank note.... :eek: ...I'll take the assassination!....hmm....gonna need some help on this one...killing a lich isn't gonna be easy...wait, the person who sent this...is the person I'm supposed to kill? Okay, so a lich in prison wants be be destroyed so they rebuild somewhere else. Gonna need to ask an undead expert for...help...crud.

Moments later, Norbaz stands outside of Andrea's door, steadying his breath and knocking.
Endless_Helix

05-23-06, 12:20 PM		OOC: Someday, I'm going to have to reveal what the Jaela picture actually is of. I'm going to have to pull pseudo-DM authority here and ask that no-one try to completely wipe out all of the copies Klaz made of a particular. He made lots (even he doesn't know how many) though, so it shouldn't be too much of an issue. And also, you probably shouldn't have pointed out that 13 is a dragon... that could get problematic... particularly for Jaela... :p

Klaz: Now look 'eah mates, we gots quite an impressive specimen here. This beautiful little shiela is a progenator w-

13: Didn't we already go over this?

Klaz: -yrm. 'E calls 'imself 13 or Thrys, dependin' on his mood. Now I'm going to try and touch im. Now kiddies, don't try this at home; I'm a professional which means that I'm-

13:-A dead man.

Klaz:- completely out 'o me mind. Here we go!

*Klaz touches 13*

13:*blink* Actually... That felt kinda nice...

Klaz: Now, we need to get his mouth shut. Alright, Vrin, hand me those ropes. Lissen closely buckoes, what we need to do is wrap this around his jaws. Dragons don't have a lot of raising power in their jaws, but they can get as much as ten thousand pounds of crushing power per square foot. Thats a narsty bite mate! Now watch me maties, we're going for a ride!

13:Wow! I didn't know that! So that means hmmm... about 25 inches by 14 inches... carry the one... about 20000 pounds of crush- Hey! What are those ropes for?

*Klaz manages to, in a disturbingly quick manner, completely and utterly prevent 13's Jaw from moving*

13 (Telepathicly): I am going to rip out your heart and feast upon it! I am going to- Uh... Helloooo-oo? Can you even hear me?Klaz? Mr. Dingbo? Why do you have those ankle chains? They look kind of... Big... for just Dinosaurs?

Vrin: Dude, do you like think those'll hold? I mean, you got them off of Ketler...

Klaz: Of course they'll 'old chum! I promised 'im that if 'e made unbreakable bonds for Thrys 'ere, then 'e'd have free shots at Jaela. Now that's Ketler motivation, eh?

*Jaela walks in*

13(Telepathicly):Jaela! This isn't what it looks like! :weep: :blush:

Jaela: hmmm... Kinky. ;)
Chrys

05-23-06, 12:24 PM		P/Y/R stalked the decks of the Forgot Freedom looking for Volrath, she was still ****** off that those thrice-damned Tree-Rats stole the wand before she could trade it for Volrath.

P/Y/R: And I didn’t even get to see him Chibi-fid… I’ll just have to have mommy change him later or may be mommy could make me another wand.

Eventually she finds her way to Terra’s room… only to Volrath lying on the floor with hammer marks all over him.

P/Y/R: What happen did you walk in on Terra and Lisa in a comprising position… if so did take a picture? I could use it to lure Red shirt to mommy.

Volrath: No, I was look for a sensory stone of what happen to the last girl I slept with… to prove to Kelter I could get a girl before he could! But Terra and Lisa Must have taped over it …

P/Y/R: Of course, you have a girl before Kelter; you have me or don’t you like me any more?

Volrath: What :love: ?! But what about your mother… I mean she…

P/Y/R: * looks slightly vexed :ahem: * Well If you want to do mommy too that’s fine, I guess but only if we all do it at the same time!

Volrath: No… I mean I thought your mother would let me touch you. Being an evil Aberration who is supposed to destroying the world and all.

P/Y/R: So what I’m Half Demon Unseelie Sidhe who thinks the sound of stuff breaking is a turn on. The only think mommy said was that we are not supposed to destroy the Eberron before she move her realm in to the planes.

Volrath: This could be the start of a great realation ship :lightbulb :dancin: .

P/Y/R: Duh that’s what I’ve been trying to say… Now then Kelter is the one with the Jeala fetish right; so how would you like to… :devil:

* * *

Volrath walk in to Kelter’s Lab with a smile on is face and hand, him a sensory stone.

Kelter: No! How! Why would my sweet Jeala stoop to banging you when she could have me! *starts to cry :weep: *

Volrath silent walks on the sobbing artificer.

P/Y/R in the Form a Jeala: See I told you, he would snap.

Volrath: Yes the look on his face was priceless.

P/Y/R reverting to her normal form: So can you different types graft of grafts… :bigeyes:

Volrath: let’s go back to my lab and 'talk' about it. :smirk:
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-23-06, 01:59 PM		you probably shouldn't have pointed out that 13 is a dragon... that could get problematic... particularly for Jaela... :p
OOC: Please tell me why. :bigeyes: I only did it because it meant his pictures would work on Klaz.
:rofl:
And that was a good post. I said you could do anything you want with the characters, i don't mind anymore.
*Jaela walks in*

13(Telepathicly):Jaela! This isn't what it looks like! :weep: :blush:

Jaela: hmmm... Kinky. ;)
IC: 13 (using ventrilloquism): There's one thing you forgot, Mr. Dingbo. Or has all that damage you take daily finally loosened your brain?

Klaz: Eh, and what's that?

13 just stands there in his little fox form, with the huge ankle manacles sitting on the floor.

13: I'm about the size of a house cat—hey!

13's manacles shrink to appropriate size. Jaela hoists him up by the chains.

13: Jaela, what are you doing?

Jaela: Thank's, boys. I can never get him interested in bondage.

13: You are quite the dead man walking, Mr. Dingbo.

Klaz: 'Ere, wait a minute—

Jaela lets out a very unusal growl. Klaz and Vrin flee.

13 waits until he's sure their out of sight.

13 (telepahticlaly to Jaela): You really are kinky. I mean, who'd have thought that Klaz would be fooled by all that stuff about dragons not being able to break jaw-bonds? You're good at this. And I'm a progenitor dragon. If I wanted to I could take out Sharn by sneezing.

Jaela: Hey, I'm one in control now.

13: [COLOR=DarkRed]Yesssss misssstressssss.

OOC: He's a progenitor dragon. Plus he's the size of a house cat. Plus this Alt-Jaela isn't passive.
urial angel of death

05-23-06, 03:07 PM		OOC: For those of you actually wondering. When Volrath was passed out, the reason I stopped the story was that it would involve major spoilers for my campaign. It isn't just because I'm a bad writer :shifty: . Also Chrys that was beautiful :weep: and very creapy. Good job :thumbsup:
Gladius_Lucix

05-23-06, 04:09 PM		OOC: I've read this from the beginning. The insanity brings me joy. I wish to share this joy with others. Thus, I'm adding to the mix.

IC:
Jarlot: So, you actually want to fly on the Forgotten Freedom, and you aren't a super powerful extraplanar entity or some sort of criminal?

Prospective Passenger: Yes, Captain Jarlot, that's correct. I'm doing a study for the Morgrave University on the effects that chaos and insanity have on the very fabric of the world itself. I thought that it would be the perfect place for my research, since your ship is the highest concentration of both, as well as those that the crew refer to as "ubers" which I theorize may warp reality by their very prescense.

Jarlot: So, what's in it for me?

Prospective Passenger: I have a Morgrave University open expense account for the duration of the study.

Jarlot: (Jumping out of his seat.) Welcome aboard, uh...

Prospective Passenger: Liam. Liam d'Ghallanda.

(Jarlot and Liam shake hands to seal the deal)

5692: Liam d'Ghallanda is not a redshirt. He is a paying passenger and is to be treated with the utmost respect.
5693: Why? Because the longer Liam stays on the boat and alive, the more money he pays me, thus, the better chance you have of getting a paycheck.

Liam d'Ghallanda
Halfling Artificer 4/Inventor (http://boards.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=297060) 4

A scion of House Ghallanda with the Lesser Mark, Liam is quite the scholar. He graduated at the top of his class from Morgrave University with a B.S. in Magi. Sci., with a minor in Applied Artifice. He is doing research for his Doctorate Degree aboard the Forgotten Freedom. His study is taking in all the "abnormal" aspects of life on the Forgotten Freedom: the Ubers, the extradimensional spaces, the various experiments performed by the crew, and the nigh constant state of insanity.

Liam is not a part of the crew, but a passenger, actually paying Jarlot to fly on the ship. This has brought his sanity into question on numerous occasions. He can often be found interviewing the crew, from the newest red shirt up to the Ubers themselves.

When not working on various devices to detect and/or harness the general weirdness of the Forgotten Freedom, or interviewing the crew, he can be found helping out in the kitchen, voluntarily. He has added much diversity to the menu, simply by using prestiditation on the food.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-23-06, 05:50 PM		OOC: :heehee Bravo. keep it up.

IC:
Sa'vor sits in the interviewing room. Liam sits on a desk opposite with a pencil and notepad.

Liam: Mr.... *looks at note Pad* Broken Blade or should i say D'vol?

Sa'vor: since i discovered my bloodrights and bear the marks of death. then i would prefer you to call me D'vol

Liam: *takes note* excellent. right, how did you come across this ship?

Sa'vor: orginaly i and the deamon lord possessing me, Naz'roth, decided to join this ship in the prosses of robbing one of the more prestigious banks. within this bank was a gauntlet. one of Naz'roths more powerful artifacts, in which was contained a large portion of his power.

Liam:ah yes, i have a qoute from one of the other crew members that suits that time " The b****** got what he deserved. if only i could of have keel hauled him at the time"

Sa'vor: *slight smile which shows his slightly elongated canines* ah.. Captain jarlot. lost none of his insubtlety. anyhow, the plane whent sideways. the sarlonans had stolen the item and hidden it. the rest well... is history as they say.

Liam: what are your comments on other crew members?

Sa'vor: Well... where to start? Kithle, my lord, is perhaps one of the evilist members of this crew. i serve him with complete loyalty. Jarlot, my captain, while being insane, a drunkard and a complete imbecile i still admire greatly for being able to keep this ship and its crew together so well. Dooj, is an oaf, a fool and a bully but with that he has a huge disire to mutany. furtunatly he lacks the brain power and the skill to take control.

Terra, is perhaps one of the more inventive crew members, her spy networks probably cover the very cosmos. she has suprises me on many occasions with her schemes. Kantash, is the horror of the ship. he is an entity whom exists only to cause insanity. he a manifestation of insanity drawn to this ship like a moth to flame. his mind trancends the mortal realms of thinking. Caralot, Kantashs lover, is a genetics expert. they both share the same twisted and insane mind ... exept she is drawn to Diabolicaly cute things.
Ketler is a perverted artificer whom lives for the day jaela will forget to wear anyclothes when she enters the mess hall. a dream many of the crew share.

Lisa, is the ships paladin. she shares a relationship with terra, she was sent here on a search for redemtion, i think that she does extremly well with trying to spread some good on this ship.
Micheal, well, is a bit of an idiot. and a slave to his own desires and emotions. but i must confess a master at drinking large amounts of alchol and still surving. Erk is a suprising character and runs a bar on the lower decks, i dont frequent there, i would be intruding on the scums territory. i prefer to eat my meals... *Very evil smile* else where.

Volrath, to whom Kantash is an uncle, is the Ships librarian and fellow warlock. he prefers to stick to the abberation side of life and magic. we walk different paths and have fought on many occasions.
* more talk of crew*

Liam: what about the crew member whom is termed to not exist whom goes by the name of ... *checks notebook* slip?

Sa'vor: *small smile* thats between me and her. *looks at watch* sorry, i must leave. its time i should be off
(vanishes)
rampant

05-23-06, 06:13 PM		Kithle - Next person who calls me lord gets a cranial skylight, the fun way. :hoppingma
Crystalforged

05-23-06, 06:48 PM		OOC: I just have to say that anyone who manages to read this monstrosity from the begining at this point deserves a standing ovation. :clap:

...or maybe they just have WAY too much time on their hands...
urial angel of death

05-23-06, 08:25 PM		P/Y/R and Volrath are playing living D&D minis.
Volrath: My flumph wizards imprisons your red wyrm.
A small squid like creature waves its tentacles about and the dragon infront of it disappears.
Volrath: Alright, off with the top.
P/Y/R: Why do you insist on playing with those things? My shifter kills your flumph anti-paladin.
A shifter slices apart a different squid creature. This one wearing black armor.
P/Y/R: Lose the vest.
Volrath: Just to prove that they aren't worthless, and to see the look on people's faces when they lose to flumphs. My wraith flumph drains your archer.
A spectral squid thing carryikng a scythe touch a human, holding a bow. The human goes limp.
Volrath: Next goes the skirt.
P/Y/R: It's not like either one of us is playing to win. :schemes:
Volrath: True. :smirk:
The game goes on...
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-23-06, 09:27 PM		OOC: I've read this from the beginning. The insanity brings me joy. I wish to share this joy with others. Thus, I'm adding to the mix.
OOC: It is not Liam's sanity that should be called into question. It is yours. Welcome aboard. :evillaugh

IC: Crow: New crew member.

Silver: He's got some major machine skills.

Crow: We do not need more artificiers.

Silver: Unless he's horribly chaste. You know, balance out all the :blush:-crazed maniacs.

Crow: That'll be the day. You know something we never see?

Silver: Ketler making a Jaela-bot?

Crow: That had to be one of the first rules. But you'd think with his view of their universe that he'd make one of those anime girl-bot maids. There's even a homonunculus for that.

Silver: :plotting:

Crow: Note :banghead: to self, never :banghead: mention new methods of fornication :banghead: to a fertility god.

Silver: I have no idea why everyone thinks my kind aren't evil.
Rei32491

05-23-06, 10:06 PM		In the library, Volrath pulls out the Necronomicon for Nalfein.

Volrath: Ok, now, normally, this would take an inordinate amount of time to read, so I had Ketler get us more of the green liquid. And no touching the book.

Nalfein: How can I read it if I can't turn the pages?!

Volrath: I'll take care of that.

Nalfein chugs the green liquid and his eyes become a blurr yet again. In a matter of seconds (with some nice hand-eye coordination on Volrath's part), he finishes the book.

Volrath: So...what'd you think of it?

Nalfein: ...

Volrath: Hello...?

Nalfein: I HAVE GOT TO TRY SOME OF THOSE OUT!!!

Rushing out the door, Nalfein sees a new Redshirt, acting very nervous and holding a crossbow. Smiling evilly, he holds out his hands. The Redshirt stands straight up, begins gurgling, then turns inside out. He then explodes, raining innards across the hall.

Nalfein: HOLY GODS THAT WAS AWESOME!!! :w00t:

Volrath: :confused: Hang on...you should be totally insane now. Moreso than before... And you should have ability damage... Do you feel any different?

Nalfein: Not really...

Cuddles: Mmmmmmm...fresh spleen. Still twitching.

Volrath: Ummm, yeah. I'm gonna look into that.
urial angel of death

05-23-06, 10:25 PM		5689) When Aerith returns to the heavens she will not forget about us.
5690) She isn't just standing around waiting for us to die, so she can harvest ourt souls.
5691) Kanatash never tried to fuse Aerith with a half-elf.
5692) He also never tried to make her his goddess of "love"
5693) Sa'vor is not holding Aerith's little sister prisoner.
5694) We did not find Kanatash and Sa'vor in a secret dungeon.
5695) Just because I have a huge sword, a attitude problem, and seem like I never die, does not mean that heaven won't take me.
5696) Volrath will not use the "dragon orb" when he destroys the world.
5697) In the event of Volrath destroying the world, Aerith will revive it and kick his sorry butt.
5698) We are not being reincarnated an infinate number of times, through out history
5699) We were never commanded by Aerith's dominatrix sister
5700) Although...
Kaizer_Ryu

05-23-06, 11:02 PM		OOC: And now, the reason Michael is a Blackguard again. My thanks to the Pythons. :devil:

IC:

Jarlot: Say Michael. How did you get your anti-paladin abilities back? I mean, you just disappeared after the whole war with the C'tan.

Michael: Well, it's sort of a long story, so I'll sum it up a bit. Throwing myself infront of Lisa turned me to the side of good, so I thought I'd go off and get the hang of it. I went to Aundair and tried helping some peasants.

Jarlot: Why there?

Michael: Well, I figured that if I switched back, I wouldn't really be in that much danger.

Jarlot: True. So, what did you do?

Michael: I robbed the rich to feed the poor. But I admit, I wasn't thinking very clearly at the time...

(Cut to a scene in Aundair. Michael is on a horse wearing a mask. He has stopped a carriage and is holding a hammer gun in each hand.)

Dennis: Stand and deliver!

Driver: What's all this, then? What do you want?

Dennis: Your lupins or your life!

Chorus:
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
galloping through the sward,
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
and his horse Concorde.
He steals from the rich,
he gives to the poor,
Mr Moore, Mr Moore, Mr Moore.

(back to the present)

Jarlot: Ooooooooook...

Michael: Like I said, I was new at it, plus I went a bit insane.

Jarlot: Thus explaining the 'new V' phase you went through... Why was your name Dennis Moore?

Michael: Well, I'm pretty infamous, what with my trying to seduce Queen Aurala on multiple occasions, the pillaging and the like, so I thought I should change my name.

(now, on to the peasants house. A woman is bed ridden, the husband hovers over her. The house is full of lupins. The bed is covered in them, the peasants are dressed in them, and the soup is made from them)

Peasant Man: Oh, Mr. Moore, she's going fast.

Dennis: Don't worry. I've brought you something.

PM: Medicine? Food? Blankets perhaps? Clothes? Wood for the fire?

Dennis: (shakes his head at each) No. Lupins!

(to present)

Michael: Needless to say, he didn't take it very well. Especially after the cat choked on them. After that, he gave me a list of things to steal. After a while, I noticed that things were getting out of hand...

(back to past, Dennis is riding on a horse back to the house)

Chorus:
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor.
And gives to the rich
Stupid b**ch.

Dennis: What? *pause* Huh...this redistribution of wealth is harder than I thought...

(the inside of the house is covered in silk, gold, and jewels. The peasants are dressed in fine silk.)

PM: What's this! Silver spoons! How dare you give us poor this rubbish!

Dennis: I thought it looked nice...

Peasant Woman: Bloody Silver! We won't have it in the house!

PM: *smacks him* Now get out there and find us something good!

(back in the present)

Michael: And that's how I got my abilities back.

Jarlot: What do you mean? You just got hit by a whiny, pompous...oh.

Michael: The blood was really hard to wash off. Ruined the silk too.

Jarlot: One more question. What happened to all the horrible wounds you had?

Michael: Uh...I got better?

OOC: I just realized that this is the 2000th reply! Hooray for the Forgotten Freedom!
rampant

05-24-06, 12:09 AM		Erk's Place

A morose figure is drowning their troubles in firewine.

Silence - Funny seeing you here, ... or at all really, whats bugging you?

NJ26 - I just realized the I'm sane one here.

Silence - Damn... Erk get this lady a refill on me.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-24-06, 01:08 AM		OOC: Welcome to the group, Gladius_Lucix. There were only about 30 some pages when I started, a feat of reading in and of itself. I applaud your tenacity. Well done, sir (or madam). :D

IC:

Liam: So, what are these things, exactly?

Terra: These are my pride and joy, the Demon Chocobos.

Giant Demonic Chocobos: WAAAAAARK!!!!

Liam: *scribbling in his notes* Please, do go on...

Terra: About two years ago, Tifa (now Beryl), Andrea and myself started a breeding program in an effort to diversify them. Caralot joined in shortly after she arrived. They show remarkable adaptability and have readily accepted the infusion of demonic energy into their genetic code.

Liam: *scribble* Fascinating. And, what can they do?

Terra: It might be faster to tell you what they can't. Their growth rate is incredible. Even without my assistance, they reach maturity in about a month. The new breed's life span is as of yet unknown, but I believe it to be over 100 years. They can be bred for anything ranging from combat air support to transporting cargo to even guide animals.

At this point, a miniature chocobo on a leash walks by, Squinty on the other end.

Terra: He's finally stopped running into walls every four feet...

Liam: Any future goals for them?

Terra: That's for me to know and you to find out. :devil:

OOC: Does two years sound about right? Time progression is so hard to determine in this thread...
rampant

05-24-06, 01:17 AM		Deathpaper - (in squirrel) Hey terra!

Terra - whats kithle up to now?

Death Paper - Um actually this about your chocobos.

Terra - Listen that wasn't their fault they're trained to attack stran-

Death Paper - actually We're starting an airforce and we need fighters.

Terra - Oh, well I have a few miniature versions towork with, but it will take me a while to breed up good skyriding stock. I assume you will want fire immunity as well so ou don't have to shell out on extra like with the ocelots.

Death Paper - Yeah we were hoping you could help us with that, and training the mounts to do various tricks, catch projectiles, move with the rider and such.

Terra - Sure, but no more eating out of my birdfeeders.

Death paper - :shifty: ok
Kaizer_Ryu

05-24-06, 01:27 AM		OOC: :heehee :rofl: Death Paper in the birdfeeder. A truly wonderful image.

IC:

Terra: I'm actually not too far off from having ones capable of both flight and riding. Tell him it shouldn't be more than two or three months. Probably another few months for training, but that could change with their personalities.

Death Paper: *chomp chomp* Right-o.

Terra: *hands on her hips* What did I say about the feeders?

Death Paper: Sorry... :allalone:
Charles Phipps

05-24-06, 02:50 AM		Top Ten Rejected Pick up lines by Ketler

10. But in Japan its perfectly legal....

9. Or it should be.

8. If you were in a ROBOT BODY, no one would question your age.

7. Ever see Leon? That's how our relationship should be...except with more sex and less guns.

6. See Lolita.

5. How do you know its sinful unless you try it?

4. Agree to sex now and I won't bring my toys!

3. Only I can appreciate your animesque goodness!

2. The Plug Suit has holy properties!

1. You're all about helping the deprived! I'm deprived of nookiee!
rampant

05-24-06, 02:53 AM		Here's my secret, put them almost normal situations, the characters do the rest.
----------------

Satnak - huh :confused: oh :eek: WOOOHOOOO :D

Sa'vor - whats with you?

Satnak - Illis just called.

Sa'vor - Why are you excited, from what I understand he's a friend, but nothing to dance about?

Satnak - He's bringing my cat, and Levy is coming for a visit!!! :D :D :D

Tara - Oh gods no I don't think we'll survive another visit from Forbes the Gods are still in therapy over the last time he walked in.

Satnak - Thats the best part he's busy.

Feal'theas - Thats um ... hrrk .... great does this mean you will let us up now, some of the younger ones need to go to the bathroom.

Satnak - (sitting on top of sa'vor's little army) Awwww I was just getting comfy.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-24-06, 07:24 AM		Cuddles: Mmmmmmm...fresh spleen. Still twitching.
OOC: That's how I always like my spleen.

IC:
Erk: *grumble-growl, point*

Satnak: What are you doi—oh, it's time?

Erk: *snort*

Satnak: Gotta go. Keeping the world safe from evil—ah, who'm I kidding. It's so I don't have to deal with any more whiny villains.

Pile of Half-dragons: Yay.
***
Satnak enters the bar's back room ahead of Erk. She sees that the cauldron is now almost foaming over with a liquid that looks like what you would get if you distilled the essence of the Forgotten Freedom. Any lesser being would have been horking up at just the memory of that stuff.

Caralot is already there, here hands cupped around the black water, but Erk hasn't come back here yet. Satnak looks back through the curtain covering the entrance to the back room, but Erk isn't at the bar.

Satnak: Were the :censored: is that god? I'm not going to wait around—gah!

Having turned around Satnak finds that the Word Being is standing next to the cauldron in its black pointed hat.

Word Being: The brew of creation is ready. All that is needed now is the four donor samples.

Satnak: Cut any monologuing or any sort of philosophical Q&A, or anything else that you guys do in these situations. You don't need to tell me what's in that mess, nor what you're doing. The sooner this is done the soon I can get ready for Illis to come by.

The Word Being nods. It shakes its hands over the cauldron and something that looks like fine ash floats down. Caralot then steps forward and pours in the black water. She also spits into the mixture.

Then they both turn to Satnak with significant looks on their faces.

Satnak: Is that it? Wait, why are you looking at me like that?

Word Being: The creation of a significant being requires four things: material from another previous being, the touch of the divine, a piece from one that will love, and a piece from one that will hate. To put it more simply, you opposed 13, so the balance says that you are the most like a mortal enemy. Normally I wouldn't worry about it, since any new being would be born a blank slate and develop these characteristics as they grow. But in this case you oppose its creation, so unless you give it your blessing it will become with one quarter of its being missing. It will endlessly seek to fill that part of itself……it will become one of those "I seek my worth foe"-types and tear apart Eberron until it has found it.

Satnak: And since I'd want to destroy it anyway, might as well be me?

Word Being: Eliminate the middle-thing.

Satnak doesn't hesitate, but steps up and spits into the cauldron. It suddenly boils over, sublimating before it can touch the ground. The gas rises above the cauldron, forming into a puffy shape. Sounds and images flicker through Satnak's head, but they are gone too fast for her to know what they are. Finally all the gas contracts rapidly, flaring briefly with shadows, before the shape inside leaps into Caralot's arms.

Caralot: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! He is sooooooo cute! Yes you are, yes you are!

The pomeranian in her arms squirms and tries to lick her.

Word Being: I give you, Quench.

Satnak: Quench?

Caralot: In my Common, the word thirst comes from Thyrs's name.

Word Being: So in trying to make this creature less like 13, or Thyrs as it was oringinally, we gave it a name opposed to the previous one.

The little puffy dog barks and wags its tail in joy.

Satnak: I think I liked it better when it was a whiny destructive psychopath.
Chrys

05-24-06, 08:39 AM		P/Y/R and Volrath are playing living D&D minis.
Volrath: My flumph wizards imprisons your red wyrm.
A small squid like creature waves its tentacles about and the dragon infront of it disappears.
Volrath: Alright, off with the top.
P/Y/R: Why do you insist on playing with those things? My shifter kills your flumph anti-paladin.
A shifter slices apart a different squid creature. This one wearing black armor.
P/Y/R: Lose the vest.
Volrath: Just to prove that they aren't worthless, and to see the look on people's faces when they lose to flumphs. My wraith flumph drains your archer.
A spectral squid thing carryikng a scythe touch a human, holding a bow. The human goes limp.
Volrath: Next goes the skirt.
P/Y/R: It's not like either one of us is playing to win. :schemes:
Volrath: True. :smirk:
The game goes on...

Damn psions reading my mind :mad: :D ;)

I think I started reading on page 3... up next Leim's intveiw with Chibi-Balor Cleric of Beryl.
Gladius_Lucix

05-24-06, 09:19 AM		First Entry:
I have attained passage on the Forgotten Freedom, and have begun interviewing the crew. They are not, as is the common misconception, murderous psychopaths. The two I have interviewed so far were actually quite polite.

My research plan currently consists of three phases:
1) Interview all the crew and establish baseline "weirdness" and "insanity" ratings, at least with respect to the rest of the crew, using the newest redshirts as controls.
2) Construct a device of some sort that can detect "weirdness" and "insanity," and determine how closely the readings of the device match my initial figures for the crew.
3) In proving that "weirdness" and "insanity" can be detected, prove that they are actual physical, magical, psionic, or spiritual forces in the universe, and begin construction of a device that can harness said forces to produce usable energy, for fueling the use and construction of various artifice.

Phase 1 is progressing nicely, due to, as I mentioned, the unexpected politeness of the crew.

(OOC: In layman's/metagame terms, Liam is attempting to harness the "Forgotten Freedom-ness" of the ship to generate xp for the creation of magic items. It is unknown whether this will be successful or practical.)
Chrys

05-24-06, 10:21 AM		Liam is sitting is a room waiting for his next subject to enter the room, then the door opens and it appears to Liam that no one enters. The chair pushes it self away from the table and the cutest female Balor any has ever seen climb in to the chair.

Liam: Umm… Hello nice to meet you I am Liam but I think I am supposed to interview Volrath now…

Chibi-Balor: Yes, Volrath is indisposed for the moment, so I was sent her instead.

Liam: Oh, could tell me what he is doing so I could reschedule him?

Chibi-Balor: Yes, I do believe that he and My Mistress daughter; P/Y/R are ‘talking’ about how to go about adding the Half Fey Template to Aberrations… I think that the nice way I can put it.

Liam: * Blinks * you mean they are…

Chibi-Balor: Yes. * Poof, Chibi-Balor form reverts to her ‘normal’ form * Damn Well at lest I can return to my mistress with out have to worry about being ambushed by Carlot.

Liam Sits and stares blackly at the Naked Red skinned female half elf with an aberrant mark on her right arm.

Chibi-Balor: Sorry about that, the Spell to turn me in to a Balor or last so long, But the longer I stay in it the more Balor like my normal body become. I Am Tessa, My mother was from the house of storms and my Father was from the house of detection. I am also known as Chibi-Balor for obvious reason; I am High Priestess of Beryl Demon Princess of The Forgotten freedom, Dunks, Alcohol and Red shirts.

Liam: So is this the same Demon Lord that Mr. D’Vol works with?

Chibi-Balor: No, I was though he was a Devil lord because he was lawful. No Beryl used to be known as Tifa… I do not suppose I could interests you in converting by the way.

Liam: No thank you I’m happy with my current provider.

Chibi-Balor: Ok, I just have to ask.

Liam: So what’s it like serving your Demon Lord?

Chibi-Balor: It is great, I used to be a red shirt and now I’m a Demon in training. I don’t have to worry about most of the crew… and we don’t have to pay are bar tab because Beryl supplies most of the Liquor to the Bar.

Liam: Well That very nice but I’m afaid I have to move on to the next person now.

Chibi-Balor: ok , oh Beryl says if you want to talk to her you’ll have to come to her.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-24-06, 11:10 AM		OOC: Last night, I asked my mind to bring back something a little less insane than it's recent fodder. This is part one of the result. Hope you enjoy.

IC:

Lisa: What’s this little trip you have in mind?

Terra: Not much. I just want to show you one of my favorite pastimes.

Lisa: Oh, sounds fun.

Terra beckons Lisa over to her and takes her hand. They disappear into the shadows, reappearing on the Plane of Shadow.

Lisa: Why are we here?

Terra: Well, last time we were all here, I didn’t get the chance to get to know it, so I came back later a few times. It is the plane where I was born after all.

Lisa: True…

Terra: First things first. You know how the Material Plane has its own unique rhythms and sounds?

Lisa: Yeah…

Terra: Well, to those attuned, like Druids, these sounds are a language all their own. The rhythms of wind, water, earth, and life can tell a great deal to those willing to listen. My mother and I used to spend hours just hearing what it had to say. I still do that now, I’m just more subtle about it.

A moment after hearing this, Lisa is struck by an epiphany.

Lisa: THAT’S how you know what’s going on pretty much everywhere?!

Terra: *smiles* It’s one of my major contributors, to say the least. I’ve taken it to a level beyond what most others do. Now, since I didn’t grow up here, I had to learn to listen all over again. Each plane has its own language, but they’re not that much different from each other.

Lisa: I’d like to be able to hear it.

Terra: That’s what I brought you here for. My control over shadow is not limited to travel, combat, and destruction.

She reaches out into thin air. Making a few gestures, Lisa can see something forming there. When she looks at it directly, it disappears, but out of the corner of her eye it looks like a crystal. When it is finished, a soft, haunting note seems to flow from it and fill the air. Terra makes about a dozen more crystals, each bearing a different tone. The notes rise and fall in strength and pitch independently of each other. The resulting melody is strangely enthralling.

Lisa: It’s beautiful…

Terra: This is the breath of the Plane of Shadow. I’ve simply drawn it out. I’ve never been much of a singer myself, but I always did love a good song…

The two of them lie cuddled up near the crystals, relaxing as the soothing melody continues to play. To Lisa, what at first seemed to be a somewhat haphazard tune eventually shows itself to be an incredible mixture of several tunes, each complimenting the other in such a way as to seem impossible.

Lisa: This is what you hear all the time?

Terra: Not always, but most of the time. It never repeats itself, yet I always seem to be able to follow along.

Lisa: I never knew this kind of beauty even existed. I feel like I’m floating…

Her eyes grow heavy, and she yawns. Mortified, she tries to apologize.

Lisa: I-I’m sorry. I ‘m not bored or any-

Terra puts her finger over Lisa’s lips and smiles.

Terra: I know. The first few times I listened to the Material Plane, I couldn’t stay awake for more than a few minutes. It takes practice not to fall asleep. And believe me; you’ll never wake up more refreshed.

Reassured by this, Lisa lays her head on Terra’s chest, slowly drifting off to sleep. Terra slowly runs her fingers through Lisa’s hair, smiling as the song plays softly in the background.
rampant

05-24-06, 01:19 PM		Satnak - Gah Damn, I don't wanna intrude on their date, but I need help. I have no outfits aside from the messed up rags I showed up in, and this armor. Not that I don't wanna go a few rounds in the ring with Levy, but I have nothing nice to wear. I need cat stuff too. Damn. I wonder if Andrea is over the 234th way to skin a cat thing yet? I mean I did rescue Norbaz for her.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-24-06, 01:24 PM		OOC: the battle below will show a portion of Naz'roths true might. this takes place at about the same time as the Chibi-Balor is being interviewed by liam.
also, Sa'vor calls Kithle "lord" as a term of respect.

IC: On Shavarath

A demonic horde smash through the ranks of a bearded devil spear wall. thousands of the demons cut down the devil forces. their Duke calls to the skys in a voice of panic as the blood of his kin spreads across the blackened lands of darkness and the black clouded skys rained the blood of angels.

Duke: we need to hold the lines! if there is any of the ancheint gods above me please send your aid to your loyal warriors

A terrible roar is heard from the sky as a figure appears, around him the clouds boil from the pure magical might. the figure appears as a seven foot tall lithe humaniod with alabastar skin. his black hair ripples behind him, he wears a anchient suit of black armour of a lot like Sa'vors, except there is an emrald rather than a ruby. in the humaniods left had is a large circular black shield with Naz'roths rune on it ( a Black moon obsuring the sun) on the shields outward edge is a wicked blade. behind Naz'roth a crimson cloak trails fluttering in the breeze, a torque with a pair of emralds in it blazes with green fire. Naz'roths right hand is free. Naz'roths ears are pointed like an elfs and his face displays astounding features. two black featherd wings are unfurled behind him and beat with a slow rythem, it lands before the duke.

Duke: who are you?

Naz'roth: i am Naz'roth of legion. the slayer of angels. i am the oldest of the Four Daemon lords whom ruled eberron in the age of demons. you called me to this place.

Duke: my lord *kneels* i had heard that one of you was free, but i didnot belive the rumours.

Naz'roth: * ties a Hankerchiefe that Tara gave him around his left arm, his eyes blaze with violet flames* i forgive you. i understand that it would be difficult to belive after all those years. *smiles* i see asmodeus is free, he's somewhere on this plane. i renember when he used to faint everytime i walked past *chuckles* well. lets defeat these Demons then shall we?

Naz'roth raises his hand towards the sky, the clouds swil around above the figure of Naz'roth. the clouds crackled with electricity as the clouds became a tempest. the danced and weaved in the sky. Naz'roth pionted a finger towards the demon hordes that advanced towards the second section of the devilish legions. the sky crackled with power as it discharged the magical energy fed into it. bolts of lightning incinerated hundereds of demons and high winds cast their corpses into the raging sky. Naz'roth mad a circling motion with his hand and a colosal form of a tornado touched down in the center of the demon hordes. tearing them apart and dropping exploding balors on groups of demons on the flanks. Naz'roth smiled as he created smaller tornados and sent huge hailstones the size of houses down on the demon hordes along with bolts of lightning that arched between them. within minuets the demons all lay dead. Naz'roth lowerd his hand and stopped the storm.

Duke: My lord! you have saved my skin. you have destroyed the hordes of one of the most dangerous demon lords!

Naz'roth: *with a smirk* renember Duke, Lord Naz'roth has returned. spread the news. soon a new age of peace will cover eberron. and when it does, we will see the mortals thrive like they never had before. then we will turn our sights onto a foe worse than anyother...

Duke: my lord?

Naz'roth: the C'tan, yes, i feel them re-building even now. the blow we struck weakened them greatly. they have been set back by centuries. but eventualy Bel Shammaroth will get to this world. and when he does, all the planes will fight as one.

Duke: I shall fight by your side Lord Naz'roth!

Naz'roth: *smiles* good, i knew i could count on you.
* opens a portal and steps through to see the Chibi Balor*
Naz'roth: tell your mistress this, she may be a demon lord. but i walk a path she can only dream of. no matter how many worshippers she gains she should always respect her elders. especialy now im free.

with that he turns and passes through a wall
rampant

05-24-06, 03:40 PM		Kithle - I don't care if you mean it out of respect, the last "lord" I dealt with ended up with a cranial skylight, before the tentacles.

OOC: Kithle has issues with authority figures. Which is why I'm going mun hell for letting you people make him an emporer :D .

----------------------------------

Satnak - That was wierd Andrea isn't on the ships.

Terra and lisa, back from their date, come around the corner.

Satnak - Hey lovebirds, I need some help here.

Lisa - What could you need uor help for?

Satnak - Levy is coming to visit, and illis is bringing the cat.

Lisa - So you need what, catfood? a litter box? Scratching post? Feed dish?

Terra - Isn't levy the one who... oooooooooooh!

Lisa - wha... ooooooooooh indeed!

Satnak - well yes to both the cat thing, and the other.... :blush:

Terra - I've said it before, no love potions!! :mad:

Satnak - No nothing like that, besides no offense, but it probably wouldn't work on her. We're talking about the woman who turned thrane into a smoking glass crater after the shining flame attempted to force her conversion.

Lisa - :eek: SHE WHAT!!!

Satnak - Yeah its been impossible to find a decent biscuits and gravy place since. I'm thinking We could take the FFII for a lunch at a little place a bit north of flamekeep.

Lisa - Wait a second, shining flame? :confused:
urial angel of death

05-24-06, 03:47 PM		In separate rooms Volrath, Ketler, Nalfien, Doog, and Silence are all scrying the scene between Lisa and Terra.

***
Volrath: How sweet.
P/Y/R: Ahem :waits:
Volrath: Coming :blush:
***
Ketler: Come on get to the good stu-
He is interrupted as a blast of psionic energy slams into him, through the crystal ball.
***
Doog: That was so beautiful :weep:
***
Nalfien: This isn't my channel! Where is the killling? (picks up Scrying guide book)
***
Silence:...
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-24-06, 04:07 PM		OOC: If im correct, Volrath makes a prediction that only Sa'vor would see the Empire rise to power. Kithle would be dead. though his decendents would still rule. though on this ship the future means nothing...
urial angel of death

05-24-06, 04:57 PM		Hippy Kanatash, :coolcthul , and Jhon are all gathered together. All except Jhon are take turns with the peace pipe.
:coolcthul : Is it that only girls into other girls and creepy things come onto the Forgotten Freedom, or is it being on the Forgotten Freedom that causes girls to like other girls and creepy things?
Hippy Kanatash: Wow, that was like a big philisophical type question. Let me try one. Okay here it comes. Why do video game characters that come on the Forgotten Freedom seem to lose their old personalities and adopt new ones?
Jhon: I'll take a crack at this. Why do book characters not even attempt to act like their namesakes?
Hippy Kanatash and :coolcthul stare at him blankly.
Jhon: You know Volrath and Nalfien?
Other 2: Ohhhhhh. :lightbulb
Hippy Kanatash: If :coolcthul is all at peace now how will the end of times happen?
:coolcthul : Why does pointing out that something is illogical cause it to become logical?
rampant

05-24-06, 05:53 PM		Satnak - It just happens on this ship :D

:coolcthul and others - RUN

John - I want legs.

Satnak - Yes tremble, you make a fine scratching post.
Endless_Helix

05-24-06, 06:33 PM		Klaz: Ketler, Jaela got 13 back...

Ketler: *Single emo tear.* NOOOOOOO!

Klaz: Look, whatevah you gave me didn't paralyze 13 like you said they would mate. The ropes didn't work, chum!

Ketler: *sputter* But, the ropes, they were my masterpiece! They bound Thrys using his own linkage to creation itself! He'd have to destroy every universe and the greater multiverse to break out!

Klaz: Yeah, well, he snapped them like twigs, we know cuz we watched for a while afterwards.

Ketler: I trust you ah... have my payment ready.

Klaz: You get your "payment" when I get 13!

Ketler: Hmmmm... Well, I suppose I could give you the theoretical ropes...

Klaz: Wot?

Ketler: Well... Essentially they harness the improbability of something happening to make the probable event not happen. So in Thrys' case, he should be able to bust through anything with ease, so the odds of him not being able to snap ropes are ridiculously small. The ropes reverse that probability. In other words, these'll hold him and I'll have Jaela ALL TO MYSELF! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Klaz: Uh... Which ones are they? I can't tell, mate

Ketler: The ropes with the pale blue sparkles on the third shelf from the bottom of my work table.

Klaz: These ones? *Holds aloft a small coil of thread*

Ketler: Yep.

Klaz: But, this is thread... Ohh... I get it! It's even more improbable to be incapable to break through thread... Clever, mate!

Ketler: Yep. Now, give me small spoiler, will you? Please?

Klaz: I don't know if I should... I mean Jaela might get a bit made, old chum...

Ketler: Oh, Come on! I'm begging you man! I'm on my ****ing knees!

Klaz: Alright, since we're good mates... *tosses Ketler a small glass globe* I'll leave you to it!
rampant

05-24-06, 07:32 PM		Terra - OK we got things ready for your cat...

Satnak - Fluffy

Lisa - That almost sounds normal.

Terra - Now what precisely did you have in mind for Levy.

Satnak - Well basically I need clothes, and advice. I have treasure and gear, but nothing in the way of nice clothes, and even my day wear is pretty much shot at this point, i've been living in my armor for the past week. I also need advice on how to talk to her about stuff other than fighting, neither of us know much else.

Lisa - Who exactly is coming when and how long are they staying?

Satnak - Illis is just dropping in to get fluffy detached from his face, Fluffy will be staying. Levy Might bring Rixle or Telfon or both, but they will take one look at this crew and start causing mayhem, so they will be taken care of. They will stay anywhere from a day to a week, depending on whether or not something comes up at home.
-------------------------
OOC : If you people ever wanted to have Satnak doing something, wierd like going clothes shopping, or gettting her hair done, oh dear what have I done.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-24-06, 07:56 PM		13 is walking down a corridor looking for Terra's room. Jaela asked him to get some "special ingredients" for a magic item she's creating. 13 is taking his time because, truthfully, the constant :mymy: is beginning to bore him. He hopes that Jaela will finally get around to the point at which they can get out of the room together and have some adventures………of the non-:uh-huh: sort.

Klaz: Gotcha now, mate!

13: Hey, what the?

Klaz jumps 13 with a bag and ties him up, dino-hunter style.

Klaz: I'd like ta see ya get outa that one! It's Ketler's probability reversal rope, and it makes you high likelyhood of breaking out disappear.

13 is silent for a moment.

Klaz: :smirk: Thought so.

13: Wait.

Klaz: :mad: What?

13: So these ropes transform a high probability into a low one?

Klaz: Ha! Got that in one go, didja? You're trapped—

13: About as much as I was before, if not less.

Klaz: Your yankin me.

13: No. See, if these ropes reverse probability—or, more likely, use the improbability of something happening to make the probable event not happen—then my improbability of escape fuels the rope to cause the probable event, that is, my not escaping, not happen. So I should be able to get out easily.

13 wriggles out like an eel from a grasping hand.

13: Besides, you didn't tie that very tightly. I've had to get out of better restraints than that. (he takes out a photo) For instance, just this morning…(he holds it up)

Klaz: :pumpkin:

13: Oh, dear, I think I broke him again.

OOC: I await your next puzzle. :whatsthis
urial angel of death

05-24-06, 08:16 PM		OOC: Kaizer_Ryu you are slacking. Where are all of those ideas you were talking about? The trip to Xoriat, alt-jarlot fun, huff :waits: . Just kidding, I know that genius takes time. I'm just kind of getting impatient, because I've had a taste of what's to come and want more. :D
Rei32491

05-24-06, 08:34 PM		Volrath, Kanatash, and Nalfein stand around a table in the library. On it lays a long parchment that rolls off the table and through many of the isles. The title reads "Nalfein's Family Tree".

Nalfein: So? What'd you find?

Volrath: Well, it seems that waaaaaaaaaay back in your line, the Great Mother shows up in the tree.

Nalfein: Wait a minute...the Great Mother? The Beholder Great Mother? How-

Kanatash: You don't want to know.

Nalfein: But-

Volrath: You. Don't. Want. To. Know.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-24-06, 08:40 PM		OOC: Kaizer_Ryu you are slacking. Where are all of those ideas you were talking about? The trip to Xoriat, alt-jarlot fun, huff :waits: . Just kidding, I know that genius takes time. I'm just kind of getting impatient, because I've had a taste of what's to come and want more. :D

OOC: :hoppingma :tantrum: :rant: GRRRRRR!!!! You big jerk! You just HAD to go and say something didn't you! Mumble...grumble... Oh, well. I'll get to those later.

And rampant, my brain shut down for a moment when I tried to picture Satnak going shopping and dressing up. Well done.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-24-06, 09:56 PM		Volrath: You. Don't. Want. To. Know.
Caralot: I do! I do! I do! I do!

Quench: *rapid little dog barks*

Caralot: Come on, Kani-bunny, can't you tell just meeeeeeee? :bigeyes:

Kantash: (shudder) You sure you can't guess?

Caralot is silent for a minute, but the way her eyes are getting all bright like they do when she's just thought up a new creature combo.

Caralot: Is it anything like all those times I went down into the beholder nest and—

Volrath and Kantash: Don't say it!

Kantash: *ffew* (pause) I'm going to regret this, but doesn't that imply that you went more than once?

Caralot: Well sure. I mean, those eyestalks are just used for seeing—

Volrath: Think very sexy thoughts…Think very sexy thoughts…

OOC: As for this:
my brain shut down for a moment when I tried to picture Satnak going shopping and dressing up.
I had no problem picturing that. I suppose that makes me the most insane here.
urial angel of death

05-24-06, 10:01 PM		OOC: In case you guys were wondering in 2nd edition beholder/other things cross breeding was possible. No eyestalks were not involved, unless you were doing something kinky. :yuck:

A ninja appears infront of Bolt-Tooth Tony.

Ninja warrior-"White devil, feel the wrath of the sword Demon-Tongue! It was forged of steel brought forth from the center of Mt. Fuji and heated in the flames of a thousand burning trators. It was then cooled in the water of life in the temple of the emperor. It has killed thousands in its centuries of use. Prepare to di......uhgggggg"

(B.B.T. shoots ninja in the stomach with .44 Magnum)

B.B.T.- "Ninja poser, feel the wrath of gun Magnum. It was crafted by a underpaid man named Joe in a factory in Jersey and heated by coal from PA. It was then sold to Mike Squareenie's pawn shop on 34th and Broadway. So far to my knowledge it has never been used to kill anyone but in about ten minutes after your body goes into shock it will be up to one. Sayanara, sucker."

OOC: Had to be done atleast once. Oh yeah sorry Kaizer :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :raincloud :blush: :allalone: :surrender
Kaizer_Ryu

05-24-06, 10:25 PM		Still concerned with his new relationship with P/Y/R, Terra heads down to Volrath's room to check on him. His door is closed, and she can hear nothing coming from it. This, however, means little, since he soundproofed his room. She reaches out to knock, but stops. Something within the deepest, most primal part of her sanity-preservation instincts has told her not to. She pulls back, turns around, and walks away.

In the room, Volrath and P/Y/R are in a position that defies all known laws of physics, magic, and sanity, while simulatniously making insanity cry softly in the corner.

P/Y/R: Too bad she didn't come in.

Volrath: She knows better. Spend long enough with me and you get a sixth sense of when it's a good idea to just not ask. :devil:
JakeQuistis

05-24-06, 11:25 PM		Allen sits down next to Hippy Kanatash.
"My theory on the whole women liking women and such is that either A: somehow this ship attracts that kind of thing, or B: The available men on this ship are what drive these women to homosexuality. It is possible that this will also happen to the men on the ship, due to the fact that the women are mainly with other women, and are capable of defending themselves against male attackers quite well. This would explain Doog/Dooj and Michael. Another theory is that the beings from beyond existence like it when women have intimate relationships with other women, and cause them to happen. I have no clue about the Doog/Dooj and Michael case though, if that is the cause." Allen explains to all four of them.
rampant

05-24-06, 11:45 PM		OOC: I'm gonna go with we're all bunch of dirty pervs, like Shakespeare.
Crystalforged

05-25-06, 12:23 AM		I had no problem picturing that. I suppose that makes me the most insane here.
OOC: I'd say second at best. You've got to go through me to receive the title MOST insane.



IC: Aerith is on giving a sermon to the handful of good aligned redshirts in a small chapel. Suddenly, one of the redshirts in the front row goes into violent convulsions. Things can be seen writhing and undulating underneath his skin while blood pours from his open mouth. Then a hollow, worm-like creature wiggles its way out his mouth. With a chilling thought you realize this is his esophagus. The poor creature then splits open like an overripe melon and all of his internal organs spill out. And each organ begins moving of its own accord and attacking those around them. His intestines slither away and begin strangling another redshirt, his stomach sprays acid upon several more nearby, his lungs exhale a poisonous gas that slays any caught in its path, his appendix bounces off to explode unexpectedly in the midst of a group of redshirts, his blood forms a massive wave and rolls over another redshirt, engulfing him. Throughout all of this the original redshirt lies on the ground twitching as his eyes dart around the room and his mouth moves as if attempting to speak, clearly still alive. Within moments all the redshirts in the room are either dead or have fled the room and the animated organs cease moving. Aerith stands upon her pulpit transfixed with horror as Kanatash floats through the floor next to her.

Kanatash: I must admit this is some of my best work yet.

Aerith narrows her eyes and begins readying a potent smiting spell.

Kanatash: What? I needed to speak with you.

Aerith: (stares at him speechless for a moment) ...and you couldn’t just have asked? (casts a spell to revive all the redshirts, who rapidly flee the room)

Kanatash: :smirk: Not my style.

Aerith: :nonono: Well, since you're here now I suppose I should hear what you have to say. (glancing at the bloodstained floor) I assume its not that you want to convert to the side of good and light.

Kanatash: That would be a safe assumption. I would like to know why I still can't kill my hippie alternate, and believe me I've tried, now that you have ceased being the ultimate goddess of everything.

Aerith: I don't see why I should. Hippie Kanatash is, if not a being of good, at least a being of peace and happiness. I see no reason why I should help you kill him.

Kanatash: I anticipated you might be difficult. Since I can't just raid you mind for the answers I have another plan to get my answers. Now, I'm going to ask you again and I'm going to keep asking you until I get the answers I seek. Everytime you don't answer me I'm going to kill a kitten. With my mind. Now how can I kill Hippie Kanatash?

Aerith: :eek: You wouldn't...

Kanatash: I would and wrong answer.

KRRRZAAAAP.... MRAOW!!!

---

Later

Kanatash: How do I kill my alternate?

Aerith: :weep: No...

Kanatash: Yes.

KRRRZAAAAP....MRAOW!!!

---

Still later

KRRRZAAAAP....MRAOW!!!

Kanatash: :bored: Ok, I've run out of kittens within a fifty mile radius. It looks like we will now have to proceed to puppies.

Aerith: No! No, please, I'll tell you. (she bends to whisper something in his ear)

Kanatash: :whatsthis Hmm, I see. Thank you for you assistance. (begins to float off)

Aerith: You won't get away with this. I'm going to warn him you're coming.

Kanatash: (with just his head sticking out of the floor) No. You're not. After all you have a lot of kittens to resurrect. :devil:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-25-06, 12:29 AM		My theory on the whole women liking women and such is that either A: somehow this ship attracts that kind of thing, or B: The available men on this ship are what drive these women to homosexuality.

Terra fits into the first answer, and Lisa fits into the second (maybe both). Part of what Urial angel of death alluded to in his spoiler (glares at him) has something to do with that. I guess I'll put that in now, since were on the subject...

IC:

Terra, Lisa, and Satnak are in Sharn picking out outfits for her new wardrobe as well as for a bit of a makeover. Lisa and Terra wait in the lobby as Satnak is getting her hair done.

(Ok, I'm gonna need a stiff drink after that mental image. So..very...disturbing...)

Lisa: Um...I don't mean to press, but I was curious. When did you first...you know...realize you liked women instead of men?

Terra: Well, since we've got a bit, I don't mind. I guess I always knew, I just didn't admit it. At one time during our travels, Volrath took all of us (her, Urial, Garr, and Muradin) to this "great little place in Xoriat" he knew about. If I remember correctly, it was called the "Daelkyr's Oasis."

Lisa: If I didn't know you and Volrath, I'd say you were crazy. But because it's you two, I didn't expect any less.

Terra: :D Well, needless to say, I got very drunk.

Lisa: I thought you were immune to the stuff...

Terra: To alcohol, yes, but this was more like a kind of Hellbrew. My memory's a bit cloudy, but I remember bumping into Urial and landing on top of her when we hit the ground. On impulse, I frenched her. :blush:

Lisa: :blink: No. Way. What'd she do?

Terra: Neither of us remember. Garr and Muradin were totally smashed, so they didn't know either. Volrath said we kept at it for a while, but, you never know if he's telling the truth when it comes to that kind of thing.

Lisa: And...?

Terra: The two of us woke up the next day with a killer hangover and in a rather compromizing position in a room on our airship. She wouldn't speak to me for a week.

At this point, Satnak walks out.

Satnak: I haven't been in a dress in a long time. Still feels weird.

Lisa: Nonsense, you look great.

Terra: I agree. Once you dropped the "I can kill everything in sight" look, you've really become quite attractive...

Satnak: Don't get any ideas.

Terra: I still enjoy living, thank you.

OOC: :mymy: Crystalforged, that's just wrong! Poor kitties...
Crystalforged

05-25-06, 12:55 AM		OOC: :mymy: Crystalforged, that's just wrong! Poor kitties...

OOC: Thank you. Thank you very much. I try, I really do.
rampant

05-25-06, 02:22 AM		SC Commander - Squeak squeak

Squirrel forces surround Kanatash.

Kanatash - what now?

SC Commander - Chirrup rup Squeaken Squeakar

Kanatash - I don't speak fuzzy tailed rat.

Squirrels descend on Kanatash, Warriors going for melee with ensorceled blades, and a few elite ravagers grappling with ghost touch gauntlets. Psionicists and magi focus on restraining his powers.

Kanatash - WHAT IN THE UNSPEAKABLE NAMES OF THE ELDER GODS' IN-LAWS IS GOING ON !!!

Aerith - You ****** off the squirrels when you started bumping off all their young ocelot KITTENS, you monster.

Kanatash - As if the glorified newspaper wasn't enough :mad:

Aerith - As they say payback's a female dog... wait a second...Brianna cut it out.
rampant

05-25-06, 05:14 AM		Satnak - Little warning: I could hear that whole conversation.

Terra - WHAT :blush:

Lisa - How?

Satnak - Simple I have very good ears and a tendency to use them.

(OOC : incarnate/psi warrior + epic deicide means one ridiculous wis score)

Satnak - If you want I'll tell you about me?

Lisa - Normaly it doesn't work like that, but now I'm curious.

Terra - I gotta hear this.

Satnak - I was about 7 when my district got mobbed, when I arrived at the island i was almost nine. I had sort of stopped caring about myself, this is probably where the part of me that lets me live in armor for a week comes from. When she got the date of the mob, and a good look in my head (courtesy of that fink Forbes) she realized I had never had my 8th birthday party. That was the first time I saw her in hell-***** mode. She pulled together an amazing L8. She even ... :weep: ... got a cleric of Dol Arrah to channel my parents so I could say goodbye properly.

Lisa - Isn't 8-9 a little young though?

Satnak - Well that was the ... sniff... start of the big sis/little sis thing. I spent 5 years just being Levy's little sister. When Forbes starting courting her I got angry, I was 12 and just begining to notice people. Mostly boys, but girls who reminded me of Levy as well. The population of the island was basically deadly students, graduates, or future students of the academy, a few of their families (not many of those, even less whole), and the Unstoppable elemental forces that are Forbes and Levy. No one really willing to put up much fuss about... ahem :blush: preferance. I enrolled partially to keep an eye on them as they were basically the founders and primary teachers, and partially to learn to beat Forbes. I had some crazy notion that If I could out fight Forbes in the arena that Levy loved to attend and participate in, she would ditch his sorry ass. First thing I did was learn how to block out Forbes's ability to sense my emotions. He can still get in my head, but he has to fight for it instead of just knowing. Its one of the first things you learn if you take his courses. Forbes taught most of the tactical, historical, and power application classes. He can turn nova strength blasts back on their manifesters, or deflect just about anything with less than a fraction of what it cost to fire. He Is a master of using the minimal amount of power to achieve maximum result, Its the only way he could keep up with the sheer power of Levy. She is... well, unstoppable i've seen her lift a freaking continent, she was looking for a set keys. Argonessen needed to rearrange itself around the new geo thermal system when it got twisted slightly on the way down.

Lisa - :eek: just :eek:

Terra - I really don't want to believe that, but thats almost too ridiculous to disbelieve.

Satnak - Anyway I threw myself into my studies, I trained under Forbes's style under the assumption that I could learn to out do him. Thats why I'm a breaker. I lack his empathic gift though.

Lisa - You have empathy... that time you with the thing .... terra help.

Terra - Not what she meant love. Shes talking about how forbes can automatically feel the emotions of unshielded minds, and such.

Lisa - oh

Satnak - I trained like a woman possesed to surpass everyone. If there was a record for to be held, especially if Forbes was the current holder, I had to have it. I even Managed to get that fight with Forbes in the arena with Levy watching. I beat him Bloody, I reached out with everything I had, My hate for him, my adoration of Levy, everything. I crushed his body, mind, heart, and soul. Do you know what happened, he got up, he just kept getting back up. Not even healing himself, He would just get back up again and again. At the end he just put himself back together and walked out after time was called. I had let my shields slip a little and he realized one thing that I hadn't quite yet, I was in love with levy, he just couldn't bring himself to try to stop me. When I realized it myself it made sense the way he just took it. He accepted it as just part of being with her that he would have to live with my hatred of him. When I finally cleared my head long enough to realized I was in love with Levy. He told me "I wont try to stop you, but neither am I backing down". Thats when I started trying to get Levy to see me as something other than her little sister. I don't know if it worked, because I found out about my biological sister soon after, and well you know the rest.

Lisa - I've been touched and traumatized before, but never by the same story.

Terra - I'm sorry, I'm still quaking from the continent thing, lucky paladins and fearlessness.
urial angel of death

05-25-06, 07:25 AM		Ketler walks up to Volrath's room. A mental conflict arises within him.
Ketler (in his head) : I shouldn't go in there!
Ketler (i.h.h.) : But I got to know.
Ketler (i.h.h.) : Maybe if I cover my eyes.
Ketler (i.h.h.) : Didn't work last time.
Ketler (i.h.h.) : I could knock.
Ketler (i.h.h.) : No, I just going in.
As Ketlert opens the door his most deep seated sense of self is screaming at him to stop. As the door swings open he see... Nothing. In an attempt to save his sanity his eyes burst of their own accord.
Volrath: Hello, what do you need Ketler?
Ketler: Shouldn't you be telling me to get out of harms way?
Volrath: No, actually all I was doing was organizing my potions.
Ketler: You're serious?
Volrath: Yes I am. Come on you need some replacement eyes.
After several minutes of painful surgery (Volrath says painkillers are for whims) Ketler comes out sporting an new pair of golden eyes.
Volrath: So, why did you come in here.
Ketler: Well I was scrying on Terra, and... well... she talked about...
Volrath: Oh, that time. You want to see it don't you.
Ketler: Yes :bigeyes:
Volrath: Alright bring me your crystal ball.
Ketler brings a crystal ball, that seems to be taped together after several shatterings. Volrath then begins emitting a series of click and whistles. He continues this for several minutes. When he stops the crystal ball starts glowing.
Ketler: Why did that take you so long.
Volrath: Well the only way to set a crystal ball to a point in time is to speak Yithian. The Yithians have very exact words for time, it's their thing. Now, hurry back to your room and enjoy.
***
Several hours later Ketler walks back into Volrath's room. He looks diseveled and pale.
Ketler: You are a horrible person!
Volrath: You wanted to see it.
Ketler: Not because of that. Because of what you did back then!
Volrath: Oh yeah, nearly forgot about that part.
Ketler: How could you forget? It was half the frickin time!
Volrath: I said nearly. That remind me, I have got to show P/Y/R that position!
Ketler faints and melts through the floor.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-25-06, 08:29 AM		OOC: I'd say second at best. You've got to go through me to receive the title MOST insane.
OOC: I have only one thing to say: :bored: Is that all? People bursting open and Kantash killing kittens? You're slipping. You came up with the whole Kantash/Caralot relationship, you can do better.

IC: "Kan-tash! Kan-tash!"

Kantash (wearing a suit and tie): Today on the Kantash Springer show we have with us Jaela Daran, pontiff of the Silver Flame religion, and 13, a progenitor wyrm who once tried to temporally eradicate Jaela's religion. In an interesting twist of events the two of them have hooked up and, to use a euphamism, "are very intimate".

Jaela: It's great, you know. He's not like all those stuffy, "oh I want to wait for marriage because it's all about the bond between husband and wife" whimpy little *beep* silver flame *beep*. Huge size, if you know what I mean. ;)

Kantash Springer: I would think a progenitor wyrm would be bigger than Huge.

Jaela: Oh, I wasn't talking about his whole body. :D

13: The girl is insane. And I mean that in a good way. You wouldn't think someone from the repressive culture of the silver flame would know that many kinks. I lost count after 34.

Kantash Springer: You two must spend a lot of time together.

13: No, that was just the first morning.

Kantash Springer (speaking away from 13 and Jaela): What these two don't know is that we've got Jaela's father, the notoreous Captain Jarlot, listening back stage.

Jarlot (rushing out all mad): You *beep*. First you try to destroy my ship, then you *beep* my daughter? Screw this show, where's Satnak?

Jaela (rounding in on her father): Oh, and like you're the world's greatest father?! I had to wait 13 *beep* years to find out! While your lackeys were sending me all those "wands of black tentacles" you couldn't have sent me even a note saying "So sorry, but I'm your father"? You left me to rot in that country of *beep* *beep* retentive frigid hags!

13: I would just like to state for the record that she was thouroughly warped before I got to her.

Kantash faces the camera while Jaela and Jarlot fight in the background.

Kantash Springer: Next we beings from another dimension. Can Satnak still accept Forbes and Levy as a couple?

OOC: And looking back on what I just wrote: :zzz: :banghead:. Not insane enough.
urial angel of death

05-25-06, 08:39 AM		The camera pans out to focus on Volrath
Volrath: When we return, we will find out who is the other parent of Lisa's baby, if Jaela passed her lie detector test, and what Micheal's reaction to his parentage is. All this and more when we return to the Kanatash Show!
Kaizer_Ryu

05-25-06, 10:49 AM		Volrath: When we return, we will find out who is the other parent of Lisa's baby,

OOC: Stop that! I'm having enough trouble convincing myself not to open that can of worms without you people encouraging it! :P

Now, on to the results of the 'girls day on the town'...

IC:

The three women arrive on the FF carrying a Shopping Bag of Holding. Terra is wearing a black, strapless dress (natural fibers). Her hair in a loose ponytail. Lisa is in a soft pink silk dress, modestly cut. Her hair is curled up into a bun on the back of her head. Satnak is sporting a white, low cut dress with her hair in a perm.

Michael: :drool:

Devon: Hey, Michael, are you- :drool:

Jarlot: What're you two- :drool:

Ketler: Whoa... :drool:

Lisa: (looking at the guys) You were right. That was fun.

Terra: The best part is that they know better than to try anything by now.

Satnak: Usually at this point I'd be cracking heads, but the look on their faces is priceless.

Terra: Ready?

Lisa & Satnak: Yep. :devil:

All Three: Pose!

The sight causes the guys to simply pass out as blood gushes from their noses.

Satnak: :D Charm spells are for wimps...

Andrea: :mad: Those b**ches are stealing my thunder!
Crystalforged

05-25-06, 12:27 PM		OOC: I have only one thing to say: Is that all? People bursting open and Kantash killing kittens? You're slipping. You came up with the whole Kantash/Caralot relationship, you can do better.
OOC: In my defense, it was the best I could come up with on short notice. I litertaly thought it up five minutes before writing it. Also don't you think its kinda unfair to compare it to my best work ever? It's not like you can expect me to come up with that quality ALL the time.

OOC: And looking back on what I just wrote: . Not insane enough.
Now you know what it's like for me. It's hard to consistantly come up with really crazy stuff isn't it?
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-25-06, 01:53 PM		OOC: In my defense, it was the best I could come up with on short notice. I litertaly thought it up five minutes before writing it. Also don't you think its kinda unfair to compare it to my best work ever? It's not like you can expect me to come up with that quality ALL the time.

Now you know what it's like for me. It's hard to consistantly come up with really crazy stuff isn't it?
OOC: I appologize. Let us all drink from the wine of loser-hood:pint:, so that we may become even worse writers and ultimately get jobs writing soap-operas. Either that or we can subject our characters to even more humiliation. :evillaugh:

IC: Caralot: That's nothing. Check out this! (pose)

Caralot is wearing a sweater and jenes, plus glasses.

Terra: Uh…

Satnak: :bored:

Quench comes up and stands near Caralot. She reaches down to pick him up, and he licks her face.

Everyone: :gah: To cute!

They all run. They encounter Kantash floating out of a wall. He is wearing leather………well, not much leather.

Kantash: Where are you my little abberration-maker? I thought you wanted to test out how to breed incorporeal males?

Jarlot: Must…scrub…mental…image.

Satnak: It's worse for me. I have some connection to Kantash, so I get to experience flashes of what he experiences.

OOC: Stop that! I'm having enough trouble convincing myself not to open that can of worms without you people encouraging it!
Silver: My money's on Terra. I have just one word for you: tentacles.

Crow: Me like worms. :devil:
rampant

05-25-06, 02:27 PM		Satnak - Note to self: purge connection to ghost boy. That last one was just plain wrong.
Crystalforged

05-25-06, 02:30 PM		OOC: I appologize. Let us all drink from the wine of loser-hood:pint:, so that we may become even worse writers and ultimately get jobs writing soap-operas. Either that or we can subject our characters to even more humiliation. :evillaugh:
OOC: If my writing ever gets THAT bad shoot me. Please. However I like the way you think with the humiliation part. :evillaugh:
urial angel of death

05-25-06, 04:32 PM		Volrath walks out on deck looking disheveled and tired. He looks up at the girls, back from their shopping trip.
Volrath: Meh. :bored:
Terra: Oh come on! Is that all you have to say?
Volrath: It's just that black isn't a good color for you, I hate pink, and Satnak is well just a little too ma-
Satnak lifts Volrath up, by his neck.
Satnak: You better stop right there. :mad:
She then drops him into a heap on the deck.
Terra: You were actually evaluating the dresses, not us?
Volrath: I guess. Maybe I'm just deeper than other guys?
P/Y/R walks by wearing a skin tight elestic suit.
Volrath :blink: :drool:
He then begins to run after her.
Terra: Right. :rolleye2: :rimshot:
Charles Phipps

05-25-06, 05:12 PM		Jarlot: We don't have that many girls who like girls onboard...

Ketler: ....yeah we kinda do.

Jarlot: Lisa, Terra.....Andrea and Marish count only as bi because they're familiar and master....

Ketler: Tiffa does err...

Jarlot: Say what?

Ketler: Nothing.

Jarlot: Okay maybe we're ALITTLE above average.

Ketler: Oh, it's the fifth year anniversary of when we first set sail Captain.

Jarlot: Ahhhhhhh....remember our first mission together Ketler?

Ketler: Yeah I do.

***

In A.W 0, war was ending.

Captain Jarlot: What happen ?

Ketler: Somebody set up us the bomb.

Slip: We get signal.

Captain Jarlot: What !

Slip: Main screen turn on.

*Shadow Jarlot appears with a half cybernetic face*

Captain Jarlot: It's you !!

CATS: How are you gentlemen !!
CATS: All your base are belong to us.
CATS: You are on the way to destruction.

Captain Jarlot: What you say !!

CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time.
CATS: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....

(Spoken in flash animation as Ha Ha Ha)

Slip: Captain !! *

Captain Jarlot: Take off every 'Zig' !!
Captain Jarlot: You know what you doing.
Captain Jarlot: Move 'Zig'.
Captain Jarlot: For great justice.

***

*Jarlot just STARES at Ketler*
Rei32491

05-25-06, 05:36 PM		Nalfein is walking down a hallway on the FF when the shadow from before slides along the floor and into Nalfeins shadow.

Nalfein: I need more redshirts to test my new spells on...

All of a sudden the shadow leaps up and grabs Nalfein's head, then the shadow starts to quiver with energy and sends it into Nalfein.

Nalfein: (falling to his knees) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Shadow: I HAVE FOUND YOU, LAST IN THE LINE THAT DEFEATED ME.

Nalfein: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Shadow: YOUR ANCESTORS SEALED ME AWAY, NOW I SHALL GET MY REVENGE!

The shadow starts to pulse far more rapidly, and Nalfein falls to the floor.

Nalfein: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hearing Nalfein's scream, Volrath runs to see what is going on. When he rounds the corner and sees the shadow over Nalfein he pulls out a dagger and throws it at the shadow, the dagger's blade sinking into it's back. The shadow starts twiching horrbily.

Shadow: YOU DARE TO INTERFERE, HALF-BREED?!

Volrath: Damn right.

The shadow begins to dissipate.

Shadow: I DON'T HAVE THE POWER TO DEAL WITH YOU BOTH AT THIS TIME, BUT I SHALL RETURN.

Nalfein: Who are you?!

Shadow: MY NAME IS NOT FOR YOU TO KNOW. YOU MAY CALL ME THE FLAMED ONE.

As he says this the Flamed One completely dissipates.

Volrath: Flamed One?

Nalfein: (on the brink of unconsciousness) No, no it can't be...

Volrath: What is going on?

Nalfein: I remember my parents telling me about him, he must have come when I passed through the gate you made.

Volrath: Do you know his true name?

Nalfein waves for Volrath to come close and wispers the name into his ear, then he passes out.

Volrath: Oh sh*t. We are screwed...

OOC: Satnak, or any ubers for that matter, are not allowed to destroy this guy. He's mine.
turalisj

05-25-06, 06:01 PM		Meanwhile, in the storage and surrounded by many dead and chewed away reshirts..

Mindbold1: *Belch* Told ya ranch was better on fried redshirt.

Mindbold2: I still say Z24 is best.

Mindbold3: What ever. Lets get back to the task at hand.

Mindbold4: Being included so many times in the thread that we don't fade into nothing?


Mindbold1,2, and 3: NO!

Mindbold1: Good idea though, we'll save that as a backup.

Mindbold2: We need to complete the ritual that will allow us to become demigods. We just need 339 more corpses.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-25-06, 06:15 PM		OOC: Reads Charles Phipps AYB reference:

:mymy: :twitch: :OMG! :heehee :rofl: :ayyyy!: :clap: :w00t:

That made my day. :D

IC:

Currently in Volrath's room, he has been strung up by Terra's vines. She is most displeased...

Volrath: What'd I do?! Is this about the dress?

Terra: No, this is about the little incident you showed Ketler.

Volrath: What are you...oh, that. How did you know?

Terra: Ketler couldn't keep his mouth shut. He also lusts really loudly.

Volrath: Damn it... But why are you mad at me and not him?

Terra: I took that little crystal ball you gave him.

Volrath: :censored: !

Terra: I owe you good for that...

The following scene of horrible vengeance has been deleted due to it's graphic nature. I apologize for the inconvenience. :P

Volrath: You can't just leave me here like this!

He is currently completely immobilized (including all the extra appendages) and hanging upside down from the ceiling.

Terra: Watch me. :devil:

She walks out of his room and shuts the door. As she head down the hall, she passes P/Y/R.

Terra: He's all yours.

P/Y/R: :schemes: :evillaugh

Terra: Just don't ever tell me what you did.

P/Y/R: *tsk* Fine. You're no fun.
urial angel of death

05-25-06, 06:17 PM		Volrath and Nalfien are looking through various tomes in the library.
Volrath: Wait a tick.
Nalfien: What?
Volrath: He still uses 2nd edition stats, right?
Nalfien: I guess so, why?
Volrath: That means none of his stats can be above 25.
Nalfien: Dude, we are so going to pwn him!

OOC: Having access to insider info is amazing. :D
P. S. : This happens immediately before Kaizer's last post.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-25-06, 06:18 PM		at the Docks a Kalashtar woman walks along the rows of ships, examining them for somthing. she wears a travelling cloak of a grey colour the hood to which is pulled over her face. at her side is a staff topped with a crystal. she see's a passing redshirt on leave and pulls him to one side.

Redshirt: what you whant?

Unknown woman: *in a cheerful voice which seems full of all the goodness in the world.* Hello, i was wondering if you could show me where the forgotten freedom is.

Redshirt: why should i tell you that?

Unknown woman: * a small energy spike is detected by anyone with finely tuned magical senses* because you'll be much gratified to help a woman whos lost. oh and also i belive you should be more polite to a lady like me.

Redshirt: *his features suddenly changing from a scowl to a happy and polite face* why certenly miss. the forgotten freedom is only two ships away. its impossible to miss.

Unknown Woman: thank you, see if your nice things go a lot better.

Redshirt: i'll try to keep that in mind miss.

the woman wanders off, and the redshirt has a slightly puzzled expresion, he seems to not know what just happened. the woman locates the forgotten freedom and walks up the gang plank.

Jarlot: excuse me, but what buisness do you have aboard this ship?

Unknown Woman: *lowers her hood to show a cheery expression and a wonderful smile* Hi, im Mia. i've come seeking employment.

Jarlot: im sorry we're not in need of whenches right now. come back someother time.

Mia: *another spike of power* i belive you should apoligise, thats not way to treat a young lady.

Jarlot:*happy expresion* im terribly sorry miss, do forgive my disposition its just that i've been having a bit of stress recently.

Mia: *another spike of power* oh, how so?

Jarlot: well... i shouldnt be telling you this ...

Mia: Oh do go on. *cheery smile*

jarlot: well, recently the crew havnt had anything to do. they've been a bit restless. especialy the Ubers.

Mia: Oh no, you mentioned there was a job vacancy?

Jarlot: *puzzled look* i dont renember...

Mia: oh yes, you've recently needed a healer since Mickys too drunk to do a thing

Jarlot: *face brightens* now i renember! yes, of course you can have a job. welcome aboard Miss Mia

Mia: *cheery smile* Your welcome Captain Jarlot

Jarlot: ah. not captain. Admiral

Mia: Silly me! i should of regonised the pips on your uniform. i could never renember all those millitary ranks. their so confusing!

Jarlot: no need to worry miss

Mia: *smiles* well i best be off then

she walks off and enters the lower decks in search for a free dorm. Jarlots face becomes puzzled as if he cant tell what was wrong.

New Character:
Mia. Kalashtar Telepath (30)/ Cleric 10

*rest of information is classified *
rampant

05-25-06, 06:19 PM		Kithle - Sorry guys, we're over quota on demi-diefics for now as it is. One more and Satnak will start a purge. Especially with her big crush coming to town, she's getting getting crazier. ON the other hand your plan B might work.

Mindbold 1 - Hey your the jerk that had flem and nem offed.

Mindbold 2 - Yeah it is him.

Mindbold 3 - Your toast *****.

Mindbold 4 - Payback sucAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH

Kithle - Any questions?

M.Bold 1 - OMG he killed Kenny.

M.Bold 2 - That bastard.

Kithle - Thats Magnicifent bastard to you. :D
Rei32491

05-25-06, 07:04 PM		Later, Volrath and Nalfein are back in the libary.

Nalfein: Hey. You know how you said that the Flamed One's stats were 25?

Volrath: Yeah...

Nalfein: Well...I did some thinking and remembered that that was his CR in Forgotten Realms. We're in Eberron.

Volrath: So... what's your point?

Nalfein: Well, when he came to Eberron, I think that his stats were upgraded from 2nd edition...

Somewhere in Eberron: *puff of logic*

Flamed One: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Volrath: ...damn you.
Endless_Helix

05-25-06, 07:09 PM		Silence: Hello small mammal...

*Jaela truns around*

Jaela: Oh, Hey Silence, what's up?

Silence: Well... Like, you should probably know that your little boyfriend is a bit of a progenator dragon, right? I was like, doing a bit of like, reading, and I found out something rather, like interesting.

Jaela: Ummm... yeah.... go on...

Silence: Since he's like, been like, around for like, ever, he like totally made part of this like, entire multiverse. So he can totally rewrite stuff.

Jaela: Where is this going?

Silence: Since he can, like, alter reality at, like, will, he can change whatever you ****ing want.

Jaela: Cool. Now go away, HE'S MINE!

Silence: Yeah, like, anyway, you should totally have him give you a, like, breast augmentation.

Jaela: :eek:

Silence: I mean, you, like, have the body of, like, a twelve-year-old girl. You could totally use a few inches too.

Jaela: :hoppingma

Silence: And a bit off the nose too...

Jaela: Can he rewrite people out of reality?

Silence: Yep, he, like, can totally do whatever he, like, wants.

Jaela: :evillaugh Good bye, heretic!

Silence: Well... not anything he wants. There're, like, a few constraints. Most people, yeah, he can like, make them disappear, but a couple of people he can't do jack about. I'm one of about five. The best he could do is to turn me into, like, what I, like, serve. But I would be far from, like, dead. Kanatash, Volrath, cuz anything involving Xoriat is like, totally screwy, and Ketler could probably wiggle his way out, by exploiting the opposite and reciprocal properties, and maybe Jarlot, just because death doesn't seem to stick to him very often.

Jaela: Whatever. Say good bye b*tch.

Silence: *shrugs* Word to the wise, most of the crew, like totally watches the show you put on with Thrys. While it's like, kind of interesting, you should probably read up a bit on the mating habits of dragons. This one's pretty, like, decent. Lots of pictures :D

*Hands Jaela the Draco Sutra.*

Jaela: *flips through it* :whatsthis :blush: :eek: :shocked: :gah: :ghosted:

Silence: I think he'll enjoy it. Ta!

*Walks off*
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-25-06, 07:43 PM		13: Thank you ever so much, Miss Silence. Now I can finally get some rest.

Silence: You're, like, welcome.

its impossible to miss.
Crow: Yeah, that's the problem.

Silver: I thought you totally messed with Jaela.

Crow: I tried teaching her the Draco Sutra. The couatl was sore for a month.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-25-06, 08:17 PM		OOC: SilvercatMoonpaw...why. Just why. As if I didn't have enough keeping me awake at night. :D

IC:

Terra is in Satnak's room, giving her some advice. Satnak is in the outfit she hopes to wear when Levy arrives.

Satnak: Do I have to?

Terra: You want to impress her, right?

Satnak: Well, yeah...

Terra: Then you need to do it in order to get the full effect. It's not just the package, it's how you present it.

Satnak: *sigh*

Lisa: *walking in* What're you doing?

Terra: She wanted help when she sees Levy, so I'm giving her some pointers. (to Satnak) Now lets see it.

Satnak: Fine.

Reluctantly, Satnak takes a deep breath and twirls around.

Lisa: :) Not bad. Try smiling next time.

Satnak: Is all this really neccessary?

Terra: Yes.
urial angel of death

05-25-06, 08:23 PM		Volrath: Nalfien although what you informed me about was very ironic and interseting. Was it really necissary to bring me, all the way to the library? You had to drag me here. I can't really move. (gasps for breath) I am acheing in all of my extrimities. All of them.
Nalfien: Ew :gah:
Volrath: Could you just carry me back to my room and drop me on my bed?
Nalfien: Cuddles take him away.
Cuddles (under his breath) : Spleeneater.
Cuddles then grabs Volrath by the collar of his vest. Then drags him back to his room.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-25-06, 09:11 PM		OOC: SilvercatMoonpaw...why. Just why. As if I didn't have enough keeping me awake at night. :D
OOC: Because I'm bored. And because once I come up with a good idea I absolutely have to get it down or lose it. And because you people are so easy to traumatize. It's pathetic.

IC: Silver: So Satnak's—mpmph!

Crow has flown into Silver's mouth.

Crow: Do not say words Satnak will get back at us for.

Silver: Well I actually I think it's rather nice that Satnak actually has feelings other than blind rage.

Crow: Of course she has other emotions: they're called extreme annoyance and sadistic pleasure.

Silver: But I'm serious. With all the physical and mental pain that goes on on that ship it could use a bit of love to balance it.

Crow: Norbaz and Andrea.

Silver: Not going anywhere fast.

Crow: Terra and Lisa.

Silver: I wonder if they'll ever get around to repro—mph.

Crow: We did that bit already. Caralot and Kantash.

Silver: You'd think with her passion for forbidden crossbreeds that they'd—

Crow: Bad mental image. Strike from the record.

Silver: 13 and Jaela. My best work yet.

Crow: That's more of a—YOUR work?

Silver: What? A god of :ayyyy!: can't mess with people's love lives?

Crow: I'd weep for the sanity of everyone on board if I thought they had any. I mean, why is it always dragons with you? They seem to have kids with every single species on the planet except other dragons! It was bad enough when you had them abducting the maidens for it—

Silver: I'm sensing that there's something behind this. What is your problem with Satnak in love?

Crow: (pause) You will regret saying that. Satnak is one of my best sources for interesting new ways to die. I need her to be in Kill Mode all the time. I mean, if it was Kithle—

They both pause to consider Kithle in a romantic situation.

Crow: You're right, my bad.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-25-06, 09:55 PM		And because you people are so easy to traumatize. It's pathetic.

OOC: So I scar easily. I also rebound quite well, I must say.

Crow: Terra and Lisa.

Silver: I wonder if they'll ever get around to repro—mph.

GRRRRRRR!!!!! WHY MUST YOU TEMPT ME SO!!!! :D Ok, I may debate the possibility of thinking about considering the eventuality of maybe posting something of that type. :P

IC:

Lisa: What's with the Entities From Beyond Non-Existance lately?

Terra: I think it's best to ignore them.

Lisa: :blush: Would it...really be that bad?

Terra: :blush: Don't encourage them! But...uh...not really, no...

E.F.B.N.E.: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Terra: Uh-oh.
rampant

05-25-06, 09:58 PM		Kithle - You do know of course I have to hurt you both now. *Oblivion thread*

Silver - You really like this one don't you.

Crow - Wait a second someone else is in this loop.

Kithle - Pholly/ie

Crow - oh craPhooom

Silver - damn yPhooom

------------------

A portal opens on the Deck of the FF

The familliar visage of Illis is mared by a grey and green creature wrap around his head.

Next out Is a Massive warforged with Crystal spikes studding its adamantine plates. A particulirlary large piece of crystal on the right arm is broken along the center, it looks as if it was set that way. A sliver of crystal that loks like it came from the broken edge of the one on its right arm is set above the left eye.

The 3rd is a Lanky Half-drow, who wears tan baggy pants, Blue dragon hide boots, and bears a large Falchion on his back. The crossgaurd bears a living eye, and the edge is serrated almost like a massive tooth. THe Half-drow's left arm has a skyship rushing through clouds, and under his right eye a jolly roger sits next to his nose.

THe final stranger is a tall Woman who carries the impression of the eye of a hurricane. Her clothes consist of a durable adventurers out fit, punctuated with crystal jewelry (earstuds, necklace, Bracelets, and belt). A pattern of grey and red lightning sweeps up her right arm around her neck behind her left ear and across her for head.
Rei32491

05-25-06, 10:43 PM		After Volrath has rested up he said that he would find a way to locate the Flamed One, and then told Nalfein to go away while he does his work.

Nalfein: (walking down a hall) Why does nobody like me? :weep:

Terra: (walking by) Because you are a whiny little shi*.

Nalfein: HEY!!!

Terra ignores him and walks away.

Nalfein: ... What did I do to make everyone hate me? I mean, I'm not the only whiny person on this ship. Sure I'm evil, but so is 80% of the crew.

Lisa: (walking by) You're greedy.

Ninja Jaela: (coming from the shadows) You're fire obsessed.

John: And you have a short fuse, even for this ship.

Nalfein: :bigeyes: :weep: :allalone:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-25-06, 11:41 PM		OOC: Awwww. They're here already. I wanted to mess with Satnak in a way that wouldn't get Terra smushed some more...

IC:

(elsewhere on the Forgotten Freedom)

Terra: Whoa, that's a lot of power...

Lisa: No kidding. I think Satnak's friends are here.

Terra: C'mon, I'm dying to meet the woman she fell for.
rampant

05-26-06, 12:12 AM		Admiral Jarlot SR. (you honestly think I'd let that kinda material go?) - Well blow me down, we have visitors, ALL HANDS ON DECK.

Jarlot - Someone shut him up PLZ.

Half-Drow - What a monster of a ship!! I'm Rixle 2nd Lt. in the in the Acedemy's Private Navy. This here is Telfon ee's a bit of a jackanape but ee has uses.

Warforged - Is this your wallet. :D

Kanatash - yes, and I keep it in a pocket dimension that defies all laws of reality :eek:

Telfon - Where there's your problem you leave it lying out where any one can find it.

Rixle - I here you've already met Illis, so the critter on his head is called Fluffy. Finally the hose beast behind us is Levy the Dreadknaught of Heaven's Tears.

Levy - Geeze such a casual intro Rix, one freaking month out of my class and your already getting disrespectful.

Rixle - We heard about you lot from Illis, and decided to see how "Wrack Attack" Satnak was doing.

Telfon - No, remember after she dissapeared her Official title came in, She's now Satnak the Breaker Prime.

Illis - heff sis ack uff uf e (get this cat off of me)

Rixle - Yeah sure, I dont need 2 hands anyway. OH HO who is this lovely vision in the white dress leaning on the bow. I must request that you join us, A lady of your beauty shouldn't be alone.

Satnak - I'd be flattered if I didn't know for a fact that, you say pretty much the same thing to everything with two legs. *Spins and Smiles at Levy*

Rixle - WTF :eek: :mymy: :shocked: :blink: :gah: :OMG! SATNAK!!!

Telfon - SProing

Levy - oh my...

Illis - I anth thee nd I shill fow umthins og (I can't see and I still know something's wrong)

---------------------
OOC : Don't worry Kaizer you can always do those scenes between scenes with Satnak and Levy, Satnak is gonna still need help.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-26-06, 12:42 AM		OOC : Don't worry Kaizer you can always do those scenes between scenes with Satnak and Levy, Satnak is gonna still need help.

OOC: I think I'll hold off on those till we get to know Levy as a person rather than a warrior a bit more. You know, likes, dislikes, speech patterns, a bit more on her history than rearranging Argonessen looking for her keys :D . I don't want to screw with your character development.
rampant

05-26-06, 01:50 AM		OOC : I know, I'm afraid to **** her off myself
-------------------------------------------

Satnak - Fluffy, off the scratching poOOOOOOOOSSSSSST.

Illis - I can breathe, WTH !!! SATNAK!!!

(big sister hug attack)

Levy - Satnak you little Hellion, You broke their poor little brains!!

Satnak - (Slightly pained look) Levy I haven't been little since I was 15, your just tall. Anyway Ketler see if you can put Telfon's head back together. Take Rixle to the healer while your at it. Watch Out when Telfon wakes up He has sticky fingers. The rest you back to work shows over for now.

Illis - phffft gag cat hair, I'm getting out of this looey bin while I still can. (bounces back through portal and closes it behind him.

Satnak - I see Rixle Graduated While I was away.

Levy - Yeah he dishtinguished himself on his middy cruise, made Lt on the Wrath Chaser.

Satnak - Thats one of our Privateers right?

Levy - One of the reason I thought he should come out here, the Privateer crews can be rough.

Satnak - If he can handle these guys without resorting to genocide, He'll be fine. Oh I want you to meet some firends. THis is Terra, she's a druid, and the red head is Lisa.

Levy - Pleased to meet you girls, how has my Satnak been doing?

Lisa - She pretty much keeps every.... I'm sorry but your tall.

Levy - I get that a lot heh heh.

Terra - I heard about the incident with argonessen and the keys, ... I was expecting I dunno more balefire, and tusks.

Levy - I get that alot too.


Fluffy is a Half Green Dragon cat, with wings a tail attack, and unlimited uses of his breath weapon. He is pretty much a typical cat ( i.e. the green dragon blood doesn't do much to their personalities). Although he possess a number of unusual special attacks and the ability to read and understand spoken common and draconic.

Your my b*tch - This marks one non-mommy (satnak = mommy) person as Fluffy's scratching post, toy mouse and other wise target of general cattiness.

Mommy! - without any apparent effort Fluffy can summon Satnak to his side. Mostly used for defense from uppity *****es.

I'm a cat - Defense for just about everything else.


Rixle Is a gentleman pirate at heart, that and horny. Ftr 5/ Dread Pirate 10/ psion (egoist) 15

Telfon is a trouble maker, he enjoys pranks and mayhem (he's gonna fit right in) he has a tendancy to draw others into his shinanigins especialy Rixle. Rogue10/ Psion Telepath10/ Shadowmind 10

Levy is a strange mix of child and old battleaxe. She grew up very fast in someways, and not much at all in others during her years on the lam. Raging Monk 20/Swashbuckler 4/Wilder 30.
-----------------------

VWOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH

Levy - Huh?

Lisa - that sounded like...

terra - oh no the FF2

Satnak - Telfon and Rixle I guess they're fine.

Lisa - Most of the Lesser used were on that ship.

Terra - And the Mi-Go cannon.

Levy - Well that oughta keep them entertained for a few days.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-26-06, 02:11 AM		Lisa - Most of the Lesser used were on that ship.

Terra - And the Mi-Go cannon.

Levy - Well that oughta keep them entertained for a few days.
Oh dear. That should be interesting. And a Half-Green Dragon cat? You, sir, are twisted :ayyyy!: .
rampant

05-26-06, 02:50 AM		Rixle - Set sail for... You know we really didn't think this through, also give me back my boots.

Telfon - Here, lets ask one of the crew.

Rixle - Good idea, you shorty.

Mindbold 2 - Yeah!?

Rixle - Where can we find some high flying adventure?

Mindbold 2 - Kinda new in town myself.

Lucky - The xendric lanes are always troubled by national privateers.

Rixle - Lets go.
-------------------

OOC I encourage everybody body to work with this a little, i want utter mayhem.
urial angel of death

05-26-06, 07:01 AM		OOC: Not much I can really add here. Although I would like to tell Kaizer that there is no such thing as a split screen image crystal. Rei first idea was right. Although there was much more tentacels, fry ups, noodles, mailee, and acrobatics then he could possibly imagine. Oh yes and both Ted and Raz were giving two thumbs up in the background. Do you even know who Ted and Raz are? Ah well doesn't really matter, on these boards you'll eventually find out.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-26-06, 07:42 AM		Kithle - You do know of course I have to hurt you both now. *Oblivion thread*

Silver - You really like this one don't you.

Crow - Wait a second someone else is in this loop.

Kithle - Pholly/ie

Crow - oh craPhooom

Silver - damn yPhooom
Silver and Crow in cartoon char colors.

Crow: We totally deserved that.

Silver: Totally. So do you think Terra—

Crow: Honestly, get off it! I swear, you're almost male the way you think abotu that so much.

Silver: Oh, please. You know neither of us really has a gender. We're just blobs of thought.

Crow: Well you're a blob of very naughty thought.

Silver: This from the guy who introduced Jaela to the couatl of the Silver Flame.

Crow: So we're both blobs of very naughty thought. :devil:

Silver: Well speaking of babies, whatever happened to Aerith's?

Crow: When did that happen?

Silver: Sometime during the Cibi Crisis.

Crow: I haven't seen her for a while……could she still be in labor?

Silver: Hold on, let me check the threads……she was in that bloody scene with Kantash.

Crow: Where's the baby?

Silver: Well, Caralot is pretty much incapable of lieing, so Aerith must've had something.

Crow: (pause (OOC: :censored: there is no good smiley for this!)) This is the Forgotten Freedom. Something is a very broad category. Also tends to mean another horrible event. :plotting:

13: Sorry to burst your thought-bubble, but after the first contraction Saberiel hired me to alter the time stream and instead have her bear the child. This has added time to the pregnancy.

Silver: Then when is it due.

13: Two minutes.
****
Just a reminder, these people work at the bar and are not part of any ship:
Employess of Erk's Place
Berkeep: Erk
Watresses: Lucky, Saberiel, Ninja Jaela 26, Silence (part-time)
Bouncers: Mr. T, Bruce Ki
Money Collector: Jingo the Shade
Cook: Tony the Tiger
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-26-06, 08:51 AM		Fluffy sneak up on Quench (Caralot's little yappy pomeranian who's an amalgum of two Thyrs plus DNA from Caralot and Satnak).

Quench: mindless *yip*

Fluffy: :devil: *ponce* <You're my b*tch>

Quench: :) *ruff*

Fluffy: :confused: *mrow?* (beats Quench about)

Quench: :w00t: *yip, yip*

Fluffy: :blink: *mrow?* (attempts to scratch)

Quench: :drool: *rrrrrrrrrruff*

Fluffy: :uh-huh: *mrrrowow* (leaps on Quench in attempt to disembowl or at least serious rough him up)

Quench: :love: *purrrrrruff* ;)

Fluffy: *mro—* :OMG!
Kaizer_Ryu

05-26-06, 09:55 AM		OOC: Not much I can really add here. Although I would like to tell Kaizer that there is no such thing as a split screen image crystal. Rei first idea was right. Although there was much more tentacels, fry ups, noodles, mailee, and acrobatics then he could possibly imagine.

For those of you not in the know (meaning non-Urial Angel of Death's, Kaizer_Ryu's, or Rei32491's), this is the result of me trying to figure out exactly what happened the night of the "incident", and whether Volrath actually did anything. The resulting horrible vengeance gives you an idea of what it was.
Chrys

05-26-06, 10:04 AM		Adventures in Demon Lording Chapter one: Getting ready for the Trip.

P/Y/R walks in to the library and finds her beloved Volrath and his fire-loving sidekick Nalfein.

P/Y/R: Hey Hon, Mommy, Chibi-Balor and I are going to go to storm home, I’m just letting you know… but I can see your busy trying to save your side-kicks ass.

Volrath stands up and goes over and kiss P/Y/R, Nalfein starts to make gagging noises.

Volrath: What for good?

P/Y/R: No, don’t be silly we are just going shopping and mommy has to deal with the house of storm… she still has the dragon mark you know.

Nalfein: Can we hurry this up I’m fearing for my life here. And I’m NOT his Sidekick!

P/Y/R stares had him then her body glows and a wave of color washes over Nalfein. * Blinding Color Surge *

Nalfein: Gah! I’m Blind!

Volrath: You now some times I forget you are a spell caster…

P/Y/R: Just because my spell aren’t all big and flashy doesn’t mean they don’t work. So anyway, I’ll bring you some thing back.

Volrath: Ok Have a fun trip, I’ll miss you… and don’t get any sex cloths you don’t wear them that much.

* * *

Beryl: Now then, I’m Take My daughter and Chibi-Balor for a little vacation. I’m putting you in charge, and that’s why I gave you an up grade… You’ll have to do all you standard duties plus you going to be in charge of gain converts and making the Alcohol.

Chibi-Marilith: Yesss Mistresssss

Beryl: If you do that one more time… I’ll turn you ass in to a Dretch and fine some one else. In addition, I if you mess any of my plans up I’ll make your life one of endless torment; in fact, I’ll give you a ring of regeneration and let Volrath Harvest grafts from your ass! However, if you do well you get to keep this form.

Chibi-Marilith: Yes Mistress, Thank you Mistress.
* * *

Chibi-Balor: I’m ready.

P/Y/R: Me too.

Beryl: Good Then I’ll just Teleport us there.

*Bamf [Teleport sound] *

[Chibi-Marilith- Fighter 3/ Marlith 5/ Tempest 1]

{edit ooc, I'm doing this so as not to mess up any one else plot.}
rampant

05-26-06, 02:26 PM		Fluff VS. Quench pt2

Fluffy takes to the skies to think.

Quench - :confused:

Fluffy - :devil:

Fluffy summons his dragon breath a cone of corrosive gas admixtured with the power of thunder.

BOOOMkchissssssssss

The blast drops the mutt through 5 floors.

Fluffy - Meow.

The cat goes looking for someone else to torment.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-26-06, 05:48 PM		Quench distills out of the mist in front of Fluffy.

Quench: :D

Fluffy: :shocked: *Mommy's patented hairball breath weapon of super-total annhilation!*

Quench dissolves. Quench reforms.

Quench: *rrrrrrrrrr* ;)

OOC: Do not think I will let this go. Not be a long shot. :schemes: Unless you need Fluffy for something else. I already have an eye on my next victim. :plotting: Hey, why not now?

IC: Fluffy: <Mommy!>

Satnak: *growl* *(the following special move is too graphic to describe)*

Quench: :inlove:

Satnak: (anime teardrop)
rampant

05-26-06, 08:03 PM		Fluffy - MeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooOW (Blazing Hell Bind God Breaker)

From point blank range, fluffy unleashes a five element admixture , that perists and clings to quench sticking the creatre to a reinforced section of timbers.

Satnak Ports out, and fluffy lingers just long enough to ensure its binds hold the dumb dog, at least until the breathe weapon dissapates, before leaving.

-----------
OOC : Cats fair play, but do try to remember that Satnak is busy.
-----------

Levy - Were did you run off to?

Satnak - Fluffy had some trouble with the ships mutt. Let me introduce you to its owner.

Knock knock

Caralot - Don't worry Kanatash is still trying to telfon proof his wallet.

Levy - That is an exercise in futility, i've seen that rascal steal things that weren't even there.

Caralot - Huh?

Satnak - Something about first stealing the possibility that something isn't there, and stealing the item when its presence becomes a certainty.

Caralot - Wait a second he can do that, and he doesn't own everything why?

Levy - According him he already does, he's just using space and time as a warehouse.

Caralot - I think my head just broke.

Satnak - Lot of that going around.

Levy - So besides being a dog owner what do you do?

Caralot - Oh I specialize in rapid manipulation of genetics in order to alter existing lifeforms.

Satnak - Think Bio-stitcher. Anyway Its almost time for lunch, ever since you vaped Thrane back home, you've complained about not being able to find a decent biscuits and gravy Place.

Levy - The only good thing that came out of there was food, and now glass. Bunch of freaking zealots, even had their children completely brainwashed. I WANNA RIP THEIR HEARTS OUT AND

Satnak Grabs Levy by the arm and whirls her out the door and down the hallway.

... oh gods Satnak every time I think about what they did to the kids there...

Satnak - Oh damn, I found this nice place north of flame Keep, but now.

Levy - Jus give me a minute, this isn't there, I can manage.

Satnak - All right, but I'm porting us right back if you start loosing it. The war ended years ago hear. These people couldn't handle one of us on a rampage. Not that anyone ever could handle you when you go berzerk.

Levy - Well you just did, and Forbes could always path me down.

Satnak - Please don't mention Forbes to me.

Levy - Why do you hate him so much? he always said you were his best student, you should have seen how proud he was when you blasted him in that arena fight.

Satnak - What do you mean? I was there he just ignored my attacks.

Levy - You hit him so fast he couldn't respond, you blasted right through his shielding. He didn't respond, because he couldn't you were so fast that night. Not the most powerful attacks I've seen, but never such rapid execution of so many assaults at once. You even kept ahead of his active deflection systems and hit his defenses dead on instead of sliding around like he wants attackers to.

Satnak - So i really beat him? not just some stat, but real victory :OMG!

Levy - Did you think he would just take a beating like that if he could avoid it? Especialy that last move, whatever it was it looked painful.

Satnak - I never named it, I just kinda latched on to his empathic network and forced it to collapse in on him.

Levy - Wow, thats amazing.

Satnak - Whats amazing is that either of us survived. I was in there too.

Levy - You were still standing!! He collapsed for bit after that. Took him a week to recover. Your amazing Satnak, Forbes isn't undefeated, but he has never been out toughed.

Satnak - (IHH : you think I'm amaz... :cloud9: )

Levy - Lets celebrate, you said you had a biscuits and gravy place to check out?

Satnak - OH yeah, ... We're setting down in a minute. Lets grab Lisa, she's from the area, and if Lisa's coming Terra might want to join us.
urial angel of death

05-26-06, 08:04 PM		I will be posting a something that will have little to no affect on the current storyline, but will take a few liberties with a few characters. In paticular Kanatash, Sa'vor, Slip, and Caralot. Don't worry it isn't anything kinky. Caralot and Kanatash will just be less insane than normal, Slip will be much less shy, and Sa'vor will have lost his foresight. Telling much more would ruin it. I just want to make sure no one will get mad at me.
rampant

05-26-06, 08:10 PM		OOC: If I minded people mesing with the storyline I wouldn't post here, I just want people not to get satnak involved in anything that would drag her away from her plans with Levy, ruining them is alright (assuming the ruiner has a death wish) just remember to keep in mind how important this is to her.
urial angel of death

05-26-06, 09:37 PM		A figure in a trench coat and wide brimmed hat is sitting on the only swing, of and inner city playground. Despite years of age and grayed scales it is clear that the man is Sa’vor. He is lost deep in thought.
Sa’vor: Everything happened just like that little punk said.
An image of Volrath pops into his head.
Volrath: Elf, dwarves, orcs, and all other humanoid races will be assimilated by humans.
The image fades.
Sa’vor: Yep, peacefully or not all races, not of human blood were brought to extinction.
A memory, of human armies clashing with other humanoid armies, floats to the surface of Sa’vor’s mind. So desperate were the humanoids that they put aside all racial differences. Orc fought beside dwarf, gnome and kobold operated the same siege engines, halfling rode beside Valenar elf. Alas it was all in vane. Due to overwhelming numbers the humans still carried the day. The humanoid armies were defeated and their children slaughtered.
Sa’vor: Next went the outsiders and the sealing of the planes.
The forms of the numerous outsider crew members, including Naz’roth and Tara, fading away is seen through Sa’vor’s tear-filled eyes.
Sa’vor: Well not all outsiders, the inspired and members of Xoriat stayed. With the loss of his extraplanar armies, there was nothing Kithle could do to stop them.
The rise of the Aboleth Empire flashes into view.
Sa’vor: Then magic became restricted to only the most powerful spellcasters.
Images of airships falling out of the sky and Sharn’s towers crumbling and the last advantage humanity had over the aboleths disappears.
Sa’vor: The Empire eventually fell of course, but by that time humans had forgotten about how things used to be. They were released from aboleth mind control as blank slates; still turned out bad. About then was the last time I saw any of them, wasn’t it void.
Void is sitting on his shoulder, but now just looking like a normal crow. Void shows no sign of understanding him.
Sa’vor: I remember like it was yesterday.
The memory forms. Sa’vor, Nalfien, and Volrath are standing around a dark room. Sa’vor looks to be younger than he is now, but still older than his Forgotten Freedom days. Nalfien appears to be nothings more than skin stretched over a skeleton. Volrath appears to be in his mid twenties, and has lost most of his human like features to an inky blackness.
Sa’vor: Is this really all that’s left, of the crew?
Nalfien: I fear so. Unless the outsiders have survived where ever they went to.
Volrath: (looking very depressed) Yes even Terra and P/Y/R are gone.
Nalfien: We have nothing more to do here. If something important comes up you know how to contact us.
Volrath: If not, see you all at the end of times.
The vision fades.
Sa’vor: Who would believe that I, Sa’vor, would long for companionship?

OOC: This is just setup. I will post the rest in a little. The reason being that, I go kicked off the computer.
Charles Phipps

05-26-06, 09:44 PM		OOC: Please note Murphy is meant to be an offensive old man. Please take no note of his comments in any way but humor.

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Hey Folks. I'm back from my vacation.

Captain Jarlot Jr. Oh hell. Didn't we strip you to your underwear, take your money, and abandon you on a tropical island? WITH DROW.

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Yeah, those Darkies sure were a lot of fun.

Drizzt Do'Urden: RACIST!

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Yeah go carry my luggage would you?

Captain Jarlot Jr. Dad, you do realize mom was of an....ethnic persuasion right?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: You halfies, you always keep wanting to broadcast you're part of the CROWD...*wags fingers*

Captain Jarlot Jr. Okay, what are you doing on my ship?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: I'm declaring a state of Martian Law.

Captain Jarlot Jr. Again?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Yep. My butter ran out, which means that one of your crew must have stolen it!

Captain Jarlot Jr. Or...you ate it all.

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Son, you have to understand the first rule of Captaining. When something goes wrong; Blame the Fruit Loops and Darkies.

Captain Jarlot Jr. WHAT NOW!?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Yeah, those damn sissy elves and their...ELFNESS. Doing all sorts of...manish things with other....*shudder* It's unnatural! By god when I was a Captain, women were women and men were men!

Captain Jarlot Jr. Eberron has been sexually emancipated since the Dhakaani dad.

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: I knew you'd end up problematic when I didn't realize you were a boy until you were eighteen.

Captain Jarlot Jr. You What!?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Well sorry about buying you a dress every year then.

Captain Jarlot Jr. That does explain a few things at least.

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: In any case, I'm here to clean house as the Captain of the FF2. KANATASH!

Kanatash: Oh Xoriat, you're back. What is it you want you half-brain dead old man?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: I'm going to make an example of you.

Kanatash: What now?

*Captain Murphy conjures a baseball bat and slams it over Kanatash's head*

Captain Jarlot Jr. Oh god!

*WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM*

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Damnit. That's the problem with those psychics. Few hit points. I think I killed him.

Captain Jarlot Jr. You animal!

Satnak: Oh Hell, is he back?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Ah! Dearest! it's so good of you to greet your husband upon his return home!

Satnak: Excuse me?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: When you blew up our home continent of Seren, I knew it was true love at first sight.

Captain Jarlot Jr. Yes, by the way. Sharn, Seren, and Thrane are fine now. We had to give up our plunder for the next 900 years in settlements for rebuilding. Your arm is officially proscribed from mass genocide.

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: As Lord High Commander of Sacred Red Mars, I hereby further declare that....ummmm....

*he pauses*

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Uhh what was I here for?

Kanatash: *moans* A thief?

Captain Jarlot Jr. DAMNIT! Don't...

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Ah yes! Alright, well its obvious Doog did it. Martian Knights, take him out back and slit him.

Doog: Oh I see, the BLACK Orc did it.

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: Well who else?

Michael: Wait...grandpa? Is that you?

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr.: My beloved grandson!

Michael: *fires a repeating crossbow at the Captain Sr.* STAY AWAY!

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr: Hey, a penny!

*kneels down as Kanatash gets up slowly only to see a hail of bolts sail at him*

Kanatash: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr: A copper a day keeps the doctor away. In any case Michael, its about time you started getting interested in girls.

Michael: I'm already interested in girls!

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr: I don't mean those fake ones in anime son. I mean REAL ones. Like THIS ONE!

*he points to Terra*

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr: I hear her prices are quite reasonable.

Terra: WHAT NOW!?

Marish: Yeah, least he could do is point to the real *****! Terra just gives it away! Cheap harlot.

Terra: You know, my druid powers have effect against cat girls.

Marish: Meep....

Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr: Oh well. I had something to do. I think I'll just go bomb Karrnath, that always seems to cheer me up.
rampant

05-26-06, 09:58 PM		Fluffy has a new *****, his name is murphy. GIve him hell.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-26-06, 09:59 PM		OOC: Charles, that was awesome. On a related note, I do have a new crew member I've been meaning to post for some time now:

Amish Dave
Commoner 5

Amish Dave was hired by Captain Murphy Jarlot Sr against Captain Jarlot, Jr's wishes. His main skill is churning fresh butter, most of which Jarlot Sr hoards. He talks with a heavy accent, and is rarely understood on the first try. His only posessions are a cow and churn. He has an amusing fear of magic and any technology very far above the wheel.

Do what you wish with him. Just don't kill him. :evillaugh

Believe me, rampant, I'd like nothing more than to contribute more to this rare opportunity. I'm just drawing a blank for ideas in that area at the moment. I should be better after dinner. Mmmmmmmm...tacos... :drool:
urial angel of death

05-26-06, 11:48 PM		A little red headed girl pokes Sa'vor.
little girl: Um, mister?
Sa'vor: (awoken from his inner thoughts) Lisa?
little girl: Mister could you please get off of the swing? My brother wants to get on.
A little boy with thick glasses and an annoyed look on his face walks up.
little boy: Get of the swing. It's for kids!
The little girl smaskes her brother on the head, with a plastic shovel.
little girl: Don't be rude!
Sa'vor: Lisa, Ketler is that really you? :weep:
A woman sitting on a park bench not far away looks up. She looks almost exactly like Terra from her Forgotten Freedom days, though a bit younger. She stands up, with a very angry look on her face.
woman: Get away from my kids you creep!
Sa'vor: I was just-
woman: I said get away!
Sa'vor gets up and hurries off.
Sa'vor: Were they really?

OOC: Please anyone present, if find you any spelling mistakes point them out. I am working on a computer lacking spell check capabilities.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-27-06, 12:52 AM		OOC: Please anyone present, if find any spelling mistakes point them out. I am working on a computer lacking spell check capabilities.
You should know better than to ask me that, Mr. Comma Happy. :P And it should be "if you find* . :D

IC:

Satnak, Levy, Terra, and Lisa are seated in the biscuts and gravy place.

Lisa: What's with all the guys in fake beards and spikey helmets?

Terra: (looking at the menu) Do they serve anything here without six servings of spam?

Levy: Why? What's wrong with spam?

Terra: Druid.

Levy: Oh, vegetarian. Don't worry, I'll have your spam. I love it! I'm having Spam, Spam, Biscuts, Spam, Baked Beans, Spam , Gravy, Spam, Spam, and Spam!

Viking Guys: (singing softly) Spam, spam, spam, spam...

Waitress: Ready to order, dears?

Satnak: I'll have the Spam, Eggs, Spam, Spam, Bacon, Biscuts, Gravy, and Spam.

Viking Guys: (getting very loud suddenly) Spamdy Spam! Wonderful Spam! Spa-

Cook: (banging on a pan) SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!!

Waitress: Sorry about that. And you miss?

Lisa: I'll just have the Biscuts, Spam, Gravy, Spam, and Spam.

Viking Guys: (softly again) Spam, spam, spam, spam...

Terra: Can I get the Biscuts and Gravy without the Spam?

Waitress: (shocked) No Spam! Blegh!

Viking Guys: (getting louder) Spam, spam, spam, spam...

Terra: What do you mean "blegh"? I don't like Spam!

Viking Guys: Spamdy Spam! Spamdy Spam. Spamdy Spam! Spamdy Spam. Spam! Spam! Spam! Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmm!!!!!!

OOC: I couldn't resist. It's just too funny. And I know spam isn't technically meat. It's the principle of the thing.
rampant

05-27-06, 01:29 AM		Levy - Wonder if these guys would be interested in a change of venue? this much zaniness its a shame not to have it on your ship.

Satnak - I don't think thats a good idea, we shouldn't get greedy, and if there's any place more zany deprived than the mournlands its FLame keep. Its like stealing from a begger.

Levy - Ah, no challenge and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Lisa - Should I be Insulted by that zany deprived crack?

Levy - Huh?

Satnak - She's from around here.

Levy - Oh my it really is alot more different than I expected. I guess the lack of posters with Forbes listed as public enemy number one should have been a tip off.

Satnak - Uhg

Terra - I have to hear this story :D .

Levy - Well did your Flame ever have a shapehifter purge?

Lisa - Why must everyone bring that up it was generations ago dammit.

Satnak - Not in our corner of space-time.

Levy - Forbes is a Legendary Horrid Were-Python. As the most powerful known shapeshifter he was put up as the scape goat for everything that was wrong with the world. His status as an outlaw and an unaffiliated psychic made it easier. The maddening part is He was infected on a mission on behalf of the church tracking down the Lycan who had kidnapped the pontiff's daughter. He was about 13 at the time. I was what 12. The outragous part was when the little bint turned and outed him in front of the entire gorram country. Gah I knew my cousin was a brat but that earned her a swift kick in the head. When things died down a few years later, I was about 16, I tried to go back and make peace, but by then everyone had been possessed or something similar by Celestials. When they tried to do the same to me well...

Satnak - Calm down, breathe in, ... out....in..... and out.
urial angel of death

05-27-06, 01:29 AM		OOC: Well spam used to be meat.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-27-06, 02:13 AM		(after Levy has calmed down)

Lisa: That reminds me, Satnak. Earlier, you mentioned something about a Shining Flame. Is that your world's version of the Silver Flame? What's different? Before the Celestials, I mean.

Terra: I'm still stuck on that little 'cousin' remark...
rampant

05-27-06, 02:42 AM		Levy - Haven't been here long enough to get all the details, but less Cuoatls, more archons. Lotta monks and ardents, less exorcising. Real hating on the shapeshifters, anything with inborn transmutive ability, access to info on shapechanging techniques intensly restricted and monitered. Only celestialy marked members were even allowed to use those kinds of techniques. Total dictatorship by fanatics, Pontiff named successor, and failing that they would start jumping in the shining flame starting from the top ranked until someone survived a whole minute. Anyone with a sense of humor got the cold shoulder.

Satnak - That and Tirra mirron was a Scholar-Knight.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-27-06, 02:54 AM		Terra: So I can safely assume there weren't many Druids there.

Levy: Pretty much. Even low level ones were considered threats because of their shapechanging abilities. That, and the Shining Flame wasn't too keen on having a bunch of "dirty hippies" wandering around.

Terra: No respect for my art...
rampant

05-27-06, 02:58 AM		Levy - If you want druids, you gotta go to the Frost Fell. The Dwarven Fleets never set sail without a Stormcaller and a Deepmage on each ship.

Satnak - A druid of your power, you'd make commodore and have a minor land title inside of 5 years, 7 if you didn't have any dwarf-friends to vouch for you.

Terra - Huh?

Lisa - You?

Satnak - heh heh yeah I kinda snuck off one time when we were visiting as part of a field, trip and...

Levy - She drunk a few families under the table, and while still drunk scared off a whole fligh of Ramapaging White dragons with I'm told a truly horrific rendition of "Row your boat".

Levy, Lisa, and Terra - Hahahaha

Satnak - :blush: Heh..
urial angel of death

05-27-06, 03:21 AM		OOC: Picturing this event is kind of creepy.

Ketler falls out of a closest near the girls' table, holding an image crystal.
Ketler: AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh h!!!!!!!! :eek:
Ketler runs off screen. Micheal then walks out of a different closet.
Micheal (speaking into a sending stone infront of his mouth): Ketler I'm not getting any feed. (looks at the dropped image crystal, then up at the girls) Oh.
Cut to comercial break

OOC: Cookie for those that get the refrence. :D
Kaizer_Ryu

05-27-06, 03:28 AM		speeching

Do I even have to say it? :P

And yes, I find it endlessly creepy. Wonderful, isn't it?

IC:

Lisa: What is it with those two? It's not like they can get anything more incriminating than... :blush:

Terra: :blush: Once again, that was my bad.

Levy: What are you talking about?

Satnak: Oh, yeah. I haven't told you about that part...
urial angel of death

05-27-06, 03:33 AM		damn my poor spelling combined with poor typing skills. Maybe I should hire some little Korean kid, and dictate to him what I want written
rampant

05-27-06, 04:08 AM		Levy - Told me about what part? :confused:

Lisa - Well Terra accidently forgot to put up some anti-scry shields, when we used My room and ketler now has an image crystal with us in some pretty intimate positions.

Terra - Impossible's more like it, I didn't know you could bend that way, and in armor no less.

Lisa - :blush:

Levy - HUh? what are you talking about?

Terra - We were ****ing each other's brains out.

Lisa - :blush:

Levy - So you two are a couple? I always wondered what that was like.

Satnak - :eek: :devil: :cloud9: :love: You have?

Levy - Yeah the way I was raised you did the guy(s) the archon in the geneaology department said, had a kid or two by each and your back in the fight by the time you're 25. Choice or lifesharing never entered the equation. My assignments tended to have "accidents" or get "ambushed" by "hobos". I guess I would have been caught eventually if I hadn't run off with Forbes.

Satnak - :(
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-27-06, 07:28 AM		Jarlot approaches Jaela's door. After that whole Kantash Show incident he's tried to accept his daughter's choice for partner, and he's come to try and make peace.

He opens the door a bit.

Jaela: GET OUT!

He hears the sounds of a bed creaking. Timbers are being strained to their breaking point.

Jarlot closes the door.
*****
13 keeps up the bed creaking until Jarlot moves out of half-elf hearing range.

13: So how long are we going to have to keep this up?

Jaela sighs and looks up from the papers scattered across her desk. The wal above is rotatable, and the side currently facing in is plastered with photos of various people and creatures in outlandish costumes.

Jaela: I want to tell them the truth, I really do. But I can't risk getting them involved.

13: Hello! This is the Forgotten Freedom! The only thing bad that ever happens to them happens when they're not fighting some super-villain. I think you're just embarassed.

Jaela: :embarrass Why would I be embarassed?

13: Well, you dress up in—

Just then the candle on Jaela's desk flares on with a silver flame. Jaela sticks her finger in it.

Jaeal: Yes……oh, dear………I understand, we'll be right there, Watchmaster.

13 opens a secret door in the wall an they both jump into the pit within.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-27-06, 08:35 AM		Sa'vor sits crosslegged meditating. his mind begins to wander the time stream. images flash before his vision.

The first is of a battle. armies of clash together in the flat plains. blood turns what was once golden to red. the hard packed earth curned into mud by the mailed boots of warriors. spells flash by over head and the smell of burnt flesh fills his nostrils. an image of Sa'vor appears, armour splatted with crimson blood, he stands over a corpse. the corpse is of Feal-Thas. and around that corpse hundreds of shattered human corpses lie. their empty eyes staring into the blood red sky.

Sa'vor delves further into the time stream. to see another battle, this time smaller. merely a street brawl. a small squad of enforcers attack six of the companions. Sa'vor is crouched behind a crate, a mind blade readied. Slip is not far away hiding behind a wall. Jarlot is busy batteling several of the enforces, his blade flashing in the light of the everbright lantens. Volrath lies behind another set of barrles, pulling a crossbow bolt from his chest. it is now that Sa'vor see's a familiar red headed woman lying in a pool of blood with several cross bow bolts in her throat. Lisa. Terra stands over her corpse, silver tears streaming down her face.

Sa'vor shudders, but continues onwards in his scan of the future. Sa'vor now see's a vision of himself. all alone. sitting on the swing, tears forming in the old mans eyes.

Sa'vor breaks from the visions. and shudders.

Sa'vor: so, this is what has to come to pass. the future is grim. but it is not my place to argue with the plan. i shall follow as i always have.
Chrys

05-27-06, 09:13 AM		P/Y/R: So… this isn’t much of a city is it.

Chibi-Balor: Nope

Beryl: And that’s the reason why we tried to stay out on a ship as much as possible.

P/Y/R: So why did we come here to shop? I mean I understand that you don’t what to deal with Angels so that why we didn’t go to Sharn but…

Chibi-Balor: Don’t you remember the plan? We only said we where going shopping so no one would try to stop us from trying to drain the power from one of the things bound in Khyber…and then we go shopping.

P/Y/R: oh right sorry… so why are be here then there is no Rajah here.

Beryl: because I’m going to break ties with the house before they…

Unknown female voice: Tifa?! :love:

Beryl: They let her know I’m out of Dread Hold…

Chibi-Balor: Um Mistress who

Then a girl who looks about 15 runs up and tackle hugs Beryl and then kisses her in a manner that makes P/Y/R blush.

Beryl: Can’t breath… let go… get her djfskjfa *kissed again *

P/Y/R: Mommy who is this?

* Chibi-Balor tries to pry the girl off *

Beryl: Get Off me!

*Girl gets up and just stares at Chibi-Balor *

Chibi-Balor: Um… is there some thing wrong?

Girl: She is mine so back off!

Beryl: Acanthi will you stop it; She is my Priestess and loyal follower. And what has mother told you about do stuff like that in Public!

Acanthi: Sorry sister.

P/Y/R: Wow All I have to say is my love life is normal compared to that… and I’m dating a guy who can turn him self in to a mass of throbbing tentacles

Chibi-Balor: Did You have to use the word throbbing… :yuck:

P/Y/R: Yes :smirk: … So I have an aunt then?

Beryl: Yes she is my youngest sister… and she always looked up to me… :embarrass

Acanthi: Aunt? You slept with some one other then me… :bigeyes:

Beryl: Yes…

Acanthi: :weep: :weep: :weep:

Beryl: Oh for the love of me… :rolleyes:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-27-06, 10:56 AM		it is now that Sa'vor see's a familiar red headed woman lying in a pool of blood with several cross bow bolts in her throat. Lisa. Terra stands over her corpse, silver tears streaming down her face.
OOC: Oh, this won't go over well. :weep:

IC:

(after Levy's comment)

Terra: (in her head) Damn. This'll be harder for her than I thought. And only a week to work with. At least she's not averse to it...
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-27-06, 01:39 PM		Meanwhile, outside the diner where Satnak and her companions are:

Generic voice: Some's stolen all pontif hats from the Sacred Museum of Silver Flame History!

Gossip voice: They say all the guards had funny expressions on their faces and funny hats on their heads.

Pointing-out voice: Look, up there, swinging between the buildings.

Obvious cliché person: It's Batman and Bat Hound.

Batman: Say, what are we swinging from? This is a semi-medievil city. There aren't any tall—

Bat Hound: Do you want to die from a puff of logic?
Kaizer_Ryu

05-27-06, 01:53 PM		OOC: *wiping tears of laughter from eyes* I can see it happening, too. Including the four of them completely ignoring the commotion because...

IC:

Satnak: Hey, you two. Something I just noticed.

Terra & Lisa: Yeah?

Satnak: Those rings you both have on aren't magical.

Terra & Lisa: *giggle* :blush: :cloud9:

Satnak: :eek: :shocked: :OMG! You didn't!

Lisa: :D Not yet. These are engagement rings.

Levy: :blink: When, where, and how?

Terra: I proposed during our little date on the Plane of Shadow. Of course, I blocked out the scryers at that time. We may tell you how later...

Lisa: :cloud9: I don't know how I could have possibly refused...

Satnak: :( That's not fair! Have a date set yet?

Terra: Still too much to do. We'll let you know, though.

OOC: Trust me, I'm not trying to turn this into a soap opera. This will be handled as non-cliched as possible. :schemes:
rampant

05-27-06, 02:03 PM		Kithle - It might not be dragon's place to argue, its probably not mine, but that never stopped me before.

--------------

Satnak - (i.h.h. I better find out now whether or not Forbes has gotten any farther along) Well, Forbes seemed pretty interested in you that way.

Levy - Yeah well I've been so worried about you that hasn't progressed much. To tell the truth he's a great person, but I don't know how toreact to him or even if I have the same feelings. My emotional reaction to him has always been a warm one, but it hasn't changed since we first met. We kissed once, right before you vanished, it was dissapointing. He backed off after that. We are still friends though. Not much can ruin a friendship that destroyed a world. I'm worried, maybe being raised the way I did broke something I need to form the kind of partnership he wanted, the kind you 2 have.

Satnak - Levy please, don't worry your the Dreadnaught of Heaven's Tears, you can do anything. If you can't then "Wrack Attack" Satnak will get you back on your feet until you do.

Levy - Weren't you paying attention to Rixle and Telfon, your not "Wrack Attack" anymore. Your're now Officially the Breaker Prime.

Lisa - Wait she's a "the"?

Terra - Yeah this sounds important.

Levy - It is one of the reasons I dragged Rixle and Telfon along is so we'd have witnesses to the ceremony. Satnak is getting her face marked as a full graduate, and unlimited acess to restricted info. It's mostly a formality, but normaly you have to fill out miles of paper work to access even one entry out of that section. The title also means she is recognized as the most deadly student of the breaker style. I'm so proud of you Satnak.

Satnak - :love: :bounce: :cloud9:

LIsa - A whole school of people who are learning to fight like Satnak. :eek:

Terra - ...
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-27-06, 03:21 PM		OOC: *wiping tears of laughter from eyes* I can see it happening, too. Including the four of them completely ignoring the commotion because...
OOC: I assume you mean me. :dancin:
OOC: Trust me, I'm not trying to turn this into a soap opera. This will be handled as non-cliched as possible. :schemes:
It better not be clichéd. Terra and Lisa are my two favorite characters! If their wedding is even the least bit clichéd you will pay…. :fight!:

IC: Deep in the underbelley of the FF…

Jaela (rasping whisper): Get it off me!

13 (whisper): You try dealing with tights over a muscle suit—sh*t, someone's coming! It's Kantash!

Jaela: Um…quick do something horribly kinky!

13: You're the one who's good at that.

Kantash floats through a wall and looks around. For some reason he hasn't noticed Jaela and 13.

Kantash: Hello. Who's here? Why can I sense you but not read your—gah! :gah: Mental ima—

He looks back at Jaela and 13. He notices the dark capes, the cowls, the tights, the muscle suit, the logos with the flying rodent of the night.

Kantash (pointing at Jaela): You're—you're—

13: No, no, no, I can't block your mind…

Kantash: YOU'RE BATMAN!
Kaizer_Ryu

05-27-06, 03:28 PM		OOC: I assume you mean me. :dancin:
Yes. Yes I did.

It better not be clichéd. Terra and Lisa are my two favorite characters! If their wedding is even the least bit clichéd you will pay…. :fight!:
Two things: 1.) I'm glad to hear it. 2.) If it is, you can have whatever's left once I'm done with me. :P

Kantash: YOU'RE BATMAN!
I really...really...REALLY should have seen that coming. :thumbsup:
urial angel of death

05-27-06, 03:41 PM		OOC: poor Terra :weep:

IC:Nalfien is gazing, out a large office window. He sees Sa'vor walking down a back alley. Even from this distance it is clear that something weighs on the half-dragon's mind. A voice sound behind Nalfien.
voice: Doctor Nalfien, please pay attention.
Nalfien whirls around to see a man in a white jacket, sitting behind a desk.
Nalfien: Of course, what were you saying Kanatash?
man: For the last time! If you are going to use my middle name use it in my full name, Herbert Kanatash Phillips.
Nalfien: Alright Doctor Phil. What were you saying?
man: You'll be getting a new patient, Patricia Yeriel Radcliff. I believe she has schizophrenia. She continually talks about being in love, with an "angel". She is in solitary confinement in cell block D.
Nalfien: Delusions of an imaginary lover are hardly reason to be locked in a little rubber room. Why is she here?
man: She had an abusive boyfriend. Last week he was found cut in half, at the waist. Numerous puncture wounds covered both pieces.
Nalfien: Was a murder weapon ever found?
man: No that's the wierd part. She wouldn't say anything about the day of the murder.
Nalfien: I'll be off then.
As he walks out of the office Nalfien ponders the question that had been plaguing him for years. Had his old friends been brought back to live. If so, why couldn't they remember him? They were similar in more than just appearance. They seemed to be duplicated in everyway possible, except for their experiences. Kanatash had never traveled to Xoriat, and because of that never when insane. He still enjoyed studying insanity. After all he did head a mental hospital. He still seem to be very active with Caralot. They did have twelve children. He pondered if the same thing would have happened to him, had he died. A voice seems to drift into Nalfiens head. It isn't speaking any language Nalfien ever learned, yet he is able to understand it perfectly.
voice: Of course not. You would go strait to Hell.
Nalfien: Who you?
voice: An old friend. In answer to your other question, yes they are the same people.
Nalfein: Then why don't they remeber?
voice: When a person dies their soul is judged. If it is seen as unfit for an after life, it is held in stasis until all memories of its old lives drain away, into the subconsious. Then they are sent back to the material plane.
Nalfien: Kanatash wasn't bad enough for Hell or the Abyss?
voice: Oh he is. He however is the property of the elder gods. They would never allow one of theirs to be taken away. When the End of Times comes he will remember and he will preform his duty.
The voice then drifts away, leaving Nalfien to ponder what it said.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-27-06, 04:28 PM		OOC: poor Terra :weep:
I'm far from done with her. You people have assured it.

IC:

Terra: So, what's this 'restricted info'? I heard a little about it before Illis showed up.

Levy: Well, I can't tell you anything specific.

Terra: You don't have to. A general idea would more than suffice. I just like to know what my comrades are capable of.
rampant

05-27-06, 04:48 PM		Satnak - I don't technically know anything about it, I don't have clearance see, so I'm allowed to ... "speculate" ... all I want. From what I have gathered it contains a couple of major categories. First there's the top secret type stuff, weapons schema, real names, cloak and dagger spy stuff from all over the world. The look on the darklanterns faces if they ever figured it out would be priceless. Then theres a constantly updating map of where our safehouses are, they tend to move, gotta keep entering a complicated password that keeps altering to keep it accurate though. Lets see access to the really nasty pieces in the armory. Finally, theres the forbidden section where all the powers, melds, techiniques, and such that considered crimes against the cosmos are detailed.

Lisa - How do you know all this?

Levy - She's a hellion, she was hacking into people's accounts on her first week on the Island. Thats how she got fluffy.

Terra - This again. Whats the story Satnak?
Crystalforged

05-27-06, 05:29 PM		Kanatash is sitting with his day planner while nursing head wounds from Jarlot Sr.'s attack with the baseball bat.

To Do
1) eliminate hippie alternate.
2) figure out how Jarlot Sr was able to hit my incorperal body with a non-magical baseball bat.
3) eliminate Jarlot Sr.

He pauses for a moment and an evil smile suddenly spreads across his face. He erases his list and replaces it with a single new item.

1) Intorduce Hippy alternate to Jarlot Sr.

Kanatash: Hmm, I should probably look into alternate methods of dealing with both of them if this doesn't work. (sigh) After all something always goes wrong it seems and I end up in pain.
Rei32491

05-27-06, 06:03 PM		Volrath and Nalfein are standing around a Pool of Scrying in Volrath's room.

Volrath: I've finally found a way to track him.

Nalfein: Ooook...

Volrath: Remember that dagger I hit him with? Well, it's still in him, and I'm able to track that.

Nalfein: Why hasn't he pulled it out?

Volrath: That dagger is alive, and probably about halfway to his liver by now. :devil:

The image in the pool begins to clear. The image of a massive Fire Giant appears. Dark flames eminate from it, it's eyes are completely black. An aura of great and terrible power eminates from it.

Nalfein: :eek: I think were gonna need some help with this...

***

Nalfein and Volrath stand before Muradin, Steve, Cuddles, Johnny and Squinty.

Nalfein: Why are Squinty and Johnny here? They're just as likely to kill us as help us!

Volrath: Well, Squinty keeps following me, and Johnny won't leave.

Johnny: (drooling) Johnny is helping!

Nalfein: Well, I think I found something helpful in one of my pockets when I did my laundry this year...

Volrath: Ew. So that's what the smell was...

Nalfein: :mad: I have more important things to worry about than hygene. Here you go, Muradin.

Nalfein tosses him a hammer.

Volrath: :eek: How did you get the freaking Hammer of Thunderbolt!

Muradin: :lightbulb :dancin: Muradin Smash!!!

Muradin throws the hammer into the ceiling, leaving a big hole. (the Hammer of Thunderbolt returns to the hands of it's thrower)

Ketler: (looking down) HEY!

Nalfein: I'm not sure, but I think it fell into my pocket from one of those books that hit me when I found the portal to Greyhawk.

Volrath: Do you have any idea how unlikely that is?

Nalfein: No. It's a good thing no one told me. :P

Volrath: Whatever. Do you think we need more help?

Nalfein: With two of The Three coming with us, yes.
urial angel of death

05-27-06, 07:29 PM		Nalfien is sitting in his appartment, channel surfing.
Nalfien: You never realize how good sleep is until you lose it, or figure out how boring late night T.V. is.
He flips through various channel until he comes to a commercial for Kithlemin's campaign for president.
Nalfien: Guess the illithid empire is coming soon. Funny, never thought one of Kithle's descendants would make his first conquest in a democratic election.
As he finishes that thought, the phone rings.
Nalfien: (picks up phone) Hello?
All he can hear is sobbing on the other end of the phone. Looking at the caller I.D. Nalfien knows that the call came from the hospital. He mutters an incantation which teleports him there. Nalfien sees Kanatash huddled under his desk. The telephone receiver is dangling beside him.
Kanatash: It's just so horrible...she...(breaks down into sobs)
Nalfien begins searching the hospital. He finds the door to Patricia's cell off its hinges, atop a crunched security guard. Another guard is pinned to the wall, by the gun barrel protruding from his throat. A wide bloody path leads out of the building. Nalfien follows this path to a nearby warehouse. Inside is Patricia, crying tears of relief. Gently carassing her is a mass of inky tentacles.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-27-06, 08:43 PM		I really...really...REALLY should have seen that coming. :thumbsup:
OOC: I planned to have more posts with more hints. A whole story about 13 and Jaela and their archnemisis. Then I got bored.
And as for Crystalforged:
1) Intorduce Hippy alternate to Jarlot Sr.
Be careful. There was an episode of Earthworm Jim where Psycrow become pure nervous energy and Jim became pure relaxed energy. When they touched they destroyed the universe. Polar opposites touching is a BAD idea.

IC: Silver: Hey, Terra and Lisa are getting married!

Crow: Don't say it!

Silver: Say what?

Crow: I'm heading you off. I know what you gods of fecundity are like.

Silver: I was just going to wonder if we're invited. But I guess as beings from beyond non-existance we're intitled to crash any wedding we want. Fertility gods always get welcomed.

Crow: (pause) I seriously should have seen that one coming. But I have to say, as a god of death, I know these things. Don't you think that there are several people involved in this affair who would tear us to pieces if we came uninvited, or at least unannounced?

Silver: Point, point.

Crow: And you told me you put Jaela and 13 together.

Silver: I lied. :devil:

Crow: Since when does your type of god lie?

Silver: Unintended pregnancies, affairs, sexual kinks, etc. You're not the only one who creates secret religious cults dedicated to having fun. Deaths just attract attention. You create hauntings and necromancy and all sorts of things that you hide away. These are mine. I mean, who did you think created Caralot?

Crow: :eek: So THAT'S what you were doing all those years!

Silver: I don't really have time to think all those combinations by myself.

Crow: I just have one thing to say.

Silver: Go ahead.

Crow: One especially important thing that absolutely has to be said.

Silver: I'm listening.

Crow: That…

Silver: Go on.

Crow: …is some of the…

Silver: Yeah, yeah.

Crow: …best work I've ever seen. Can she do undead?

Silver: Half-vampires again.

Crow: No, this time I was thinking d'Vol (rest of post deleted due to reasons which I'm sure you can imagine on your own and thus I win the award for the most insideous way of causing insanity in people :devil:)

Silver and Crow—together they made necrophillia!
rampant

05-27-06, 08:44 PM		Levy - Well I was taking here to the park when we saw a couple of guys sparring. I thought it would be a good idea for her to watch and learn. One of them had access to some restricted weapons, likely from being in on their creation, well we saw them go at it. Nothing much, but both displayed excellent use weapons abilities. Later we stumbled across a group of youngsters, Rixle was helping his mother with babysitting Illis and a few of his friends, Satnak wanted to talk to Rixle, something about ears. I talked to Rixle's mum for a bit to make sure it was alright, and went to grab some drinks and Ice cream for everyone. Apperently while I was gone they found a kitten in a tree. Satnak started using out her call stone, but since she wasn't very experienced with it yet it took a while. Illis started climbing up the tree with Rixle's mum screaming bloody murder for him to get down, Rixle had his hands full trying to keep the others from following, so no one was stopping Satnak from using someone else's login. She grabbed an axe of the list and made the call, took her a while to get used to the weight of a full great axe, but she only need one good swing. Down the tree goes, Illis gets thrown out with the kitten digging into his back. He lands right at Satnak's feet and the kitten hides in her hair. When I get back Satnak is holding the Graziel axe up like a standard in one hand, frogmarching Illis around the fallen tree screaming victory every 5 seconds, and each time the cat lets out a little acid jet. Rixle's mum is alternating between Relief, anger, and laughter. I guess Satnak has always had a talent for insanity.

Satnak - :blush: ...
Endless_Helix

05-27-06, 09:22 PM		Jarlot Sr.: Hey son, do you remember when I used to take you down to the Beach?

Jarlot: Kill me now, oh merciful Dol Dorn...

Jarlot Sr.: And you used to throw swords at the swimmers? Talk about funny! You were so cute when you did that... Now if only you'd do that to the midgets...

Jarlot: They're not "midgets"! They're "talentans", "midgets" is ridiculously politically incorrrect.

Kanatash: Ah, dear sir, I have someone you should meet...

Jarlot Sr.: Are you a schizo?

Jarlot: Kanatash, you not only have my permission to kill him, you can use anything that comes to mind as a method of murder. Provided it doesn't destroy the ship.

Jarlot Sr.: That's m'boy! Thinking about women and children first.

Kanatash: Alright here he-

Jarlot Sr.: Are you a hippy? I hate hippies.

Kanatash: Good, cuz I'm the ultimate anti-hippy. But anyway here he is...

[B]Hippy Kanatash:[B] Dude, I think my bongwater is like totally leaking.

Dunh, Dunh, Dunh...
Crystalforged

05-27-06, 11:18 PM		And as for Crystalforged:

Be careful. There was an episode of Earthworm Jim where Psycrow become pure nervous energy and Jim became pure relaxed energy. When they touched they destroyed the universe. Polar opposites touching is a BAD idea.
OOC: Bolded for emphasis

Kanatash: AND? Your point is? You silly non-existant entities always seem to forget who am am and what I'm planning to do.

OOC: :P
Rei32491

05-28-06, 12:44 AM		Hoping to improve their odds, Nalfein and Volrath are asking around to see if anyone wants to come along...

Kithle: Why should I help you?

Nalfein: He's a world destroying menace!

Kithle: And this is new...how?

Nalfein: He's got a big, juicy brain!

Kithle: I saw the scying image. I've already got anything he has to offer.

Nalfein: C'mon, please!

Kithle: I might have considered it, but there seems to be a high likelyhood that you will die from this. So, no.

Nalfein: :(

***

Sa'vor: I have too much to prepare for to deal with a family feud.

Volrath: But-

Sa'vor: No.

Nalfein: Ple-

Sa'vor: No.

Nalfein: :mad:

***

Kanatash: Dealing with my alternate and the psychotic old man are my first priorities.

Volrath: C'mon, Uncle Kanatash. It'll be fun!

Kanatash: Much as I hate to disappoint you, nephew, no.

Nalfein: PLEEEEASE! :bigeyes:

Kanatash: :devil: With any luck, he'll get you out of my hair, too.

Nalfein: :weep:

***

Pholly: Can I come with you?

Volrath: :confused:

Nalfein: Seriously?

Pholly: Yeah. I've been ignored lately. I need something to do.

Volrath: Well, the guy we're going after is a demon of fire, so I don't see how-

Pholly: Oh, I've got just the thing.

Pholly pulls out a vial from a pouch that is full of a blue liquid. A Redshirt comes down the hall at this time. He chucks it at him, and it explodes on contact. When the smoke clears, the redshirt is encased in ice.

Nalfein: DUDE!

Pholly: :D Alchemist's Frost.

Volrath: You mean you made something that actually functions as intended?

Pholly: Shut up.
rampant

05-28-06, 05:35 AM		NJ26 - He was trying to make alchemist spark and got his final reagents mixed up.

Pholly - Dammit!! They didn't need to know that!

NJ26 - I know but the idea that you did something right that didn't blow up in your face was a hole in reality.

Pholly - :mad:

Nalfien - Sadly that makes the most sense.

Volrath - Thats a relief.
---------------

Satnak - Well I think We're done here.

Levy - I'm good.

Lisa - Finished.

Terra - Yeah.

As they get up to leave.

Levy - What about the bill?

Satnak - Well between Lisa's um... notoriety, my reputation, and the fact that these guys aren't getting pillaged today, we are covered.

Levy - Oh right, Pirate.

As the group exits the building they see the area in an upheaval as the crew goes to town.

Kithle sits upon a throne made of stone, borne on the backs of several huge Half dragons raining down mayhem on the populace.

Kithle - Lets see, I think you would look better in blue *polymorphed*. You dance *otto'd*. You stand on your head *intimidated*.

Andrea - Ok now the shiny stuff goes in the hold, and the squishy stuffy goes over there.

Jarlot Sr. - Come back you damned dirty hippie!!

Hippy K - like peace man

From a window ledge.

Fluffy - Meow ( drops potted plant on Jarlot SR. )

Jarlot Sr. - OW (conks out)

Fluffy - Meow ( Drops a potted plant at Hippy K )

Hippy K - aAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH wait I'm like ghostly and stuff.

Fluffy - (smirks)

Hippy K - :confused: huh ....... (in a low voice) DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE not cool you made me drop the bong, and it like shattered.

Fluffy - Meow (I'm a cat)
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-28-06, 11:30 AM		5694: If I hear you say that words "Jaela" and "Batman" in the same sentance then I will devise a new form of keelhauling and you shall be subjected to all four current methods.
5695: 13 is now under strict orders to report any requests to transport people through time, even if the purpose is to do Good.
5696: Or Evil.
5697: Or Lawful.
5698: Or Chaotic.
5699: Or Neutral.
5700: If it involves Jaela in any way 13 is authorized to strap you down and show you a slide-show of his vacation. :evillaugh:
5701: 13 is now in charge of delivering mail. (Igor is still in charge of the mail room.)
(written underneith): (So unless you are an über you'd better show me at least a passing indiference. Otherwise I will be reading your mail out loud.)
5702: All rules from "1001 Xen'drick tips" also apply to all crew.
urial angel of death

05-28-06, 01:38 PM		Levy - Well I was taking here to the park when we saw a couple of guys sparring. I thought it would be a good idea for her to watch and learn. One of them had access to some restricted weapons, likely from being in on their creation, well we saw them go at it. Nothing much, but both displayed excellent use weapons abilities. Later we stumbled across a group of youngsters, Rixle was helping his mother with babysitting Illis and a few of his friends, Satnak wanted to talk to Rixle, something about ears. I talked to Rixle's mum for a bit to make sure it was alright, and went to grab some drinks and Ice cream for everyone. Apperently while I was gone they found a kitten in a tree. Satnak started using out her call stone, but since she wasn't very experienced with it yet it took a while. Illis started climbing up the tree with Rixle's mum screaming bloody murder for him to get down, Rixle had his hands full trying to keep the others from following, so no one was stopping Satnak from using someone else's login. She grabbed an axe of the list and made the call, took her a while to get used to the weight of a full great axe, but she only need one good swing. Down the tree goes, Illis gets thrown out with the kitten digging into his back. He lands right at Satnak's feet and the kitten hides in her hair. When I get back Satnak is holding the Graziel axe up like a standard in one hand, frogmarching Illis around the fallen tree screaming victory every 5 seconds, and each time the cat lets out a little acid jet. Rixle's mum is alternating between Relief, anger, and laughter. I guess Satnak has always had a talent for insanity.

Satnak - :blush: ...

wow pick a fruit from the random tree

Then again I have no room to talk :shifty:
urial angel of death

05-28-06, 01:52 PM		Satnak hears a wierd voice in her head, it is clearly recognizable as Volrath.
Volrath: Are you ever going to get the courage to tell her or what?
Satnak: Well I...
Volrath: There need to be a party. Both of you need to be totally smashed. That way you'll be able to sum up the courage, and if she gets freaked out you can just pass it of as a crazy thing you did while drunk.
Satnak: No way, I know what you do to drunk girls.
Volrath: I'll get something that will affect even me. You have my word. I will not be capable of thinking clearly. Besides Nalfien need something to boost his resolve, about going to fight that one guy.

OOC: I have no idea how Satnak would respond. Someone please finish.
rampant

05-28-06, 03:25 PM		Satnak - (Volrath If I thought that would work I would be chugging down the entire booze locker. Levy doesn't get drunk)

Volrath - (I'm sure I could come up with something.....)

Satnak - (No you idiot. She's a Berzerker of Apocolyptic power, she will never allow herself to get drunk. Frankly thats the dumbest Idea you've ever had including the times you've crossed Kithle.)

Volrath - (I could slip her...)

Satnak - (Bloody Mol you moron, even if you slip her something without her noticing !!!UNLIKELY!!! She'd likely blow us all to oblivion. Hell your lucky she's relaxed now, or she would have caught us, now go away.)

Levy - Who are you pathing?

Satnak - Just some Idiot who doesn't understand the term "Off the clock". (i.h.h. he's right though i just need to say it, Bloody mol I can stare down Forbes the Serpent of Forbidden Wrath, but I can't just tell her How I feel.)

------------------
OOC : I know this is kinda cliche, but think what happens to everyone else she loved. Again kinda cliche, but she had to kill her own sister, she's gonna have emotional trauma.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-28-06, 04:01 PM		(the following is between Volrath and Terra telepathically)

Terra: Must you butt in?

Volrath: I'm just trying to help!

Terra: She'll tell her when she's good and ready. You should know that. You just wanted an excuse to throw a party, didn't you? :smirk:

Volrath: No! Well...uh...yeah, actually.

Terra: Why not make it a party congratulating Satnak on her Graduation? She gets to spend time with Levy having fun, and maybe tell her on her own, Nalfein gets his courage, and you have an excuse to do overly crazy things in public. More than usual.

Volrath: That's actually not a bad idea... :plotting:

OOC: Of course, this will have to wait until after the ceremony.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-28-06, 04:33 PM		Sa'vor wanders down the corridors of the lower deck. his head burns with the pain of seeing so far into the future. Sa'vor curses. he knew he shouldnt have. but as always he'd been adicted to the thrill of discovery and gaing knowledge. now Sa'vor had locked the images of the future away, in the deepest darkest parts of his mind where only the evilest and most dreaded magics where kept. spells that could obliterate millions, that could summon forth the tides of darkness to swollow the lands.

The Wonder spells. Called so for in ancheint times only gods could wield their holy or Fell might. but the daemon lords had stole the knowlege, now only a few carried the knowlege of the Wonders. Wonders where dangerous things to know, for they did not draw on magic. they drew on the casters life force and bore down a terrible toll after their casting. those whom used them rashly died. those whom did use them where cursed with forms that betrayed the touch of the darkest or goodest magic. what also dwelled in these dark portions of his mind, locked away from the light was the complete voclabulary of Dark speech. every word single word. for The Wonders and Dark Speech was not mere knowlege.

it was alive. they had temprements and personailities of their own. some where easy to bend to the will of the user ... while others where more difficult and tended to attempt to drain too much from the caster and leave him vunrable to attack. for apon the casters death these living portions of information would escape.

Sa'vor shuddered thinking of what could happen then always caused him to do thus. thats why a Wonder wielder had to be drained of power, have it slowly leeched away. to aviod apocolyptic explosions or the like.

Mia steps infront of Sa'vor. a look of pity and concern on her face.

Mia: Oh dear. you dont look well. your skins and scales are all white.

Sa'vor: *breaking away from his deep thinking* hmm?

Mia: you must be almost dead... i can still feel your life force though... strong as a healthy persons. how odd...

Sa'vor: *sighs* im fine. really. this is my normal form.

Mia: *gasp* you must be cursed. oh do tell how it happened.

Sa'vor: *scowls* for misusing powerful magics. now may you kindly move aside.

Mia: *sends a wave on energy* i belive you should be more polite.

Sa'vor: *scowl vanishes* you just attempted to alter my thinking, and enter my mind. who are you!

Mia: hi, im Mia. im the assistant healer.

Sa'vor: *puzzled* where have i seen you before... im sure i recognise your face.

Mia: *smile* im sure you dont.

Sa'vor: *grin* yes, i renember you. your Kalastar, you work for the angels. gathering infromation and knowlege as well as spreading good. Mia... yes we've met before. while i was plane hopping. you interrogated me and extracted information from me about this crew!

Mia: oh dear. you broke through the memory block.

Sa'vor: thats right! whats your buisness here?

Mia: Im going to spread good will about this ship. as well as convert a few of the ships members to the side of good.

Sa'vor: *puzzled* why are you telling me this?

Mia: because you wont renember anything. * large spike of magical energy*

Sa'vor: oh, hello. my name Sa'vor D'Vol.

Mia: my names Mia. oh you poor dear. let me fix that head ache. *flash of healing magic*

Sa'vor: *sighs* much better.

Mia: so, Sa'vor. whats your role on this ship?

Sa'vor: *for a split second theres a flash of doubt across his face* my jobs really to keep the time stream around the ship intact, and keep its occupents following the design for this universe. my other roles include Commanding Armies, Mental Probing and Gathering money for the Captain... through more illegal methods than that of Squishy or Tabitha.

Mia: *another pulse of magic* what are your skills and Specialities?

Sa'vor: i prefer to wield Abjuration magic and Necromancy. as well as specialising in the Art of the Warlock and Psychokinesis. I belive that in many situations, Balancing the Mind and the Arts of War can conqour anything.

Mia: I hear rumours of you and a girl called Slip? i've even heard how your whent backwards in time for three hundred years to prepare to rescure her

Sa'vor: me and Slip share quite an intimate relationship. unlike many of the more open crew members we prefer to keep to ourselves. and keep our relationship to our spare time. which at the moment is plentiful.

Mia: Really? how so?

Sa'vor : the armies run themselves now. The Captain hasnt run out of Alcohol since we gave him several infinite decanters. though Jarlot Sr. keeps the captain busy. Kanatash is so concerned with killing of Jarlot Sr. and the Alternate hippy version of him and spending time with Caralot that he doesnt cause to much trouple. Satnak is busy with her own emotional matters. Terra and Lisa are with her. the redshirts are bust with their own political Machinations. the scum are bust causing havoc somwhere over Xendric with a few of Satnaks friends. Volrath and Nalfein are trying to destroy the Demon of Fire. Naz'roth and Tara are either Training the Half-Dragon Armies or spending quality time together. oh and Silver and Crow are doing whatever beings such as them do. the crew are pretty well busying themsevels at the moment.

Mia: well. its been fun talking but i really must see to some patients. see you some other time. *smile*

Sa'vor walks off, with a strange feeling hes met Mia before...
rampant

05-28-06, 07:10 PM		5703. No you may not velcro the walls and cieling.

5704. Especially if your just doing it for kicks.

5705. You certainly aren't allowed to train lions to follow people up and get them down.

5706. You may not build Warforged out of Kits.

5707. For the last gorram time they are not robots.

5708. They are not made of 40% asbestos

5709. Disasembling a warforged charger doesn't give you the parts for two normal warfoged.
------------------------------
OOC:
Thank you "Bigger than Cheeses"

Oh and For those of you who might still care Golden Crash is from Darkbolt.
That should teach me for using obscure webcomics.
--------------------------------------

Rixle - Do you ever get the feeling you're unloved?

Phollie - Yep

Lucky - All the time

Pardan - You get used to it

Jam - Since the captain and none of the ubers are here do you think the list still applies?

Pardan - OH HO geese, *fire ball*

Telfon - Oww What just hit me? A flying Flambe ?
Raziel_Brokodar

05-28-06, 07:11 PM		5710: Asking their DM to include guns in the setting... :rolleyes:
Charles Phipps

05-28-06, 08:37 PM		Hippie Kanatash: Soooo you're like the Man aren't you?

Senior Jarlot: And you're one of those Hippie Commie Pinko Freaks eh?

Hippie Kanatash: Yo.

Senior Jarlot: I'll take that as a yes. There's only one thing to do now.

Hippie Kanatash: Become a pair of antagonistic buddy cops that track down criminals?

Senior Jarlot: You're damn right.

*Miami Vice theme plays as a Porsche pulls up beside them and they drive off into the sunset*

Jarlot Junior: I think that broke my brain.

***

Another Day in the Life of....

Action Figure Jarlot: Ohhhh, I am the swordiest swordmaster that has ever been seen by mankind.

Action FIgure Terra: Ooooo, you're sword is SOOOO big. I think I just needed to be shown the largest sword there was.

Action Figure Lisa: Oooo can I join in.

Action Figure Jarlot: Why yes, let's just go to my hot tub over here and....

*Ketler walks in*

Ketler: Boss I....

*Jarlot throws himself on his action figures*

Jarlot:DAMNIT! KNOCK! KNOCK BEFORE YOU ENTER A ROOM!

Ketler: Oh sorry. We've arrived at the next target.

Jarlot: Did you see anything?

Ketler: No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again.

Jarlot: GOOD!

***

5711. We are not converting to Shadowrun rules.
5712. Because we already have warforged grafts for cybernetics, catgirls, and HUGE guns.
5713. Besides, PCs Troll Cyborgs are just dumb man.
5714. Unlike Troll PCs with warforged grafts.
5715. A wand of magic missles is not a minigun.
5716. You are free to pretend it is so you can enact the "mad minute" from Predator though.
5717. If we do the Predator stuff, then I get to be Arnold.
5718. "The Caaaaabinat Minister. This is complete Bul*****." See? I can do the voice.
5719. Besides, with the number of people I've killed I'm almost certain to enter politics.
5720. The Captain is not allowed to be peaked in during bath time.
5721. Especially if he's reading "Sword Babe" magazine.
5722. What I'm doing with Sword Babe Magazine is none of your business.
5723. Even if it's your copy of it.
5724. It's a +5 Reaver of Souls! I'm only human man!
5725. Aliens does not describe how we came together.
5726. Even if Terra does a mean Ripley.
5727. No Stupid, you can't be Arnold.
5728. Even if you get a coating to look exactly like him from Ketler.
5729. That won't let you time travel to kill me before I was born.
5730. We are outlawing "bullet time" on this ship.
5731. "Magic Missle Time" or "Crossbow time" is not allowed either.
5732. Bookdock Saints does not describe our entire career.
5733. Because none of us are Irish or vigilantes.
5734. Trenchcoats and Katanas are forbidden as the crew uniform.
5735. "There can be only one" is not a reasonable justification for beheading a fellow crew member.
5736. Beverly Hills Cop's theme does not play whenever Doog walk into a room.
5737. Robocop cannot be made out of the remains of slain crew members.
5738. Nor can Robo-Pirate.
5739. Magicpunk cannot be used to describe our ship's fashion sense.
5740. Not can "Dungeon Punk."
5741. "Black Mage made me do it" is not an excuse for psychotic stabbing of stupid people.
5742. It is an excuse for burning people alive with fireballs.
5743. You are not so stupid as to warp reality.
5744. Except you Stupid.
5745. No matter how you argue it, Top Gun is not the original Brokeback Mountain.
5746. Tom Cruise cannot be invited on this ship just to beat him up for his love life.
5747. I don't care how jealous you are.
5748. You can mock him for his height.
5749. No Andrea, Nicole Kidman is not allowed to play you.
5750. She's already playing Lisa.
5751. You are not allowed to display "Mad Ninja Skillz" at the local arcade.
5752. Especially not to win "Dance Dance Revolution."
5753. Skippy is not the first member of the crew.
5754. You cannot become King of Breland just by killing everyone who disagrees with you.
5755. That's how you become King of Karrnath.
5756. Jason Voohees is not my illegitimate son.
5757. Freddy Krueger vs. Kanatash is not a movie we're filming here.
5758. Even if my money is on Kanatash.
5759. Ketler is not allowed to make the world's perfect woman from the remains of dead female Redshirts.
5760. Because it'll be icky and not cool like Weird Science
5761. Michael is not allowed to help.
5762. Back to the Future is not a guide for Time Travel physics.
5763. Rambo is not a statement of our politics.
5764. Breland has not sent Jack Baur to kill us all....
5765. Yet.
kelvinaw273

05-28-06, 08:50 PM		5766. The warforged cannot exert a shocking grasp upon targets just by grabbing them unless he learns the spell.

5767. It is wrong to tell him otherwise.

5768. The warforged is not to refer to dead people as "deleted".

5769. It is not true that the Lord of Blades gives captive humanoids the options of being "upgraded" or "deleted".

5770. Humans cannot be "upgraded" into warforged, period.

5771. It is wrong to tell the warforged this.

5772. It is also wrong to tell aging or crippled humans this, and offer them cut priced "upgrades".

5773. Warforged do not have their heads explode or commit suicide if their 'emotion chips' are overidden.

5774. Warforged do not even HAVE emotion chips.

5775. That includes the one working for the Lord of Blades.

5776. It is wrong to tell them this, too. Except maybe the latter ones working for the Lord of Blades.

5777. The Lord of Blades is not "The Cybercontroller" OK?
rampant

05-28-06, 08:54 PM		5778. When is someone going take down the velcro?

5779. Being captain means I can order other people to do it.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-28-06, 11:15 PM		Senior Jarlot: Did you see anything?

Ketler: No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again.

Jarlot: GOOD!

:heehee :rofl: Wonderful Spaceballs reference. :thumbsup:

5780: Female type warforged are not Mega Maid

5781: it is wrong to tell the warforged this

5782: They cannot be set to Suck or Blow

5783: It is doubly wrong to tell the warforged this

5784: The combination of my suitcase is not 12345

5785: Dad's may be, though

5786: Squishy, make sure to change the combination on my suitcase
Charles Phipps

05-29-06, 01:06 AM		Yeah, somehow I forgot the fact that it was supposed to be normal jarlot though
rampant

05-29-06, 01:30 AM		Normal ... Jarlot? :uh-huh: I think my brain just broke.
Congratulations, you've accomplished what Silvercatmoonpaw and Crystalforged have failed to do. Break my freaking brain. You two should get on your knees and beg, I'm gonna go chew the padding off my nice new room.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-29-06, 05:37 AM		Normal ... Jarlot? :uh-huh: I think my brain just broke.
Congratulations, you've accomplished what Silvercatmoonpaw and Crystalforged have failed to do. Break my freaking brain. You two should get on your knees and beg, I'm gonna go chew the padding off my nice new room.
OOc: Just by saying "normal Jarlot"? Man, the craftsmenship on these human brains is totally botched. I have yet to break my brain on ANYTHING. So I'm not going to beg. :P
urial angel of death

05-29-06, 08:23 AM		Well Rampant welcome to the club. Let's see if we can tap messages through the walls.
JakeQuistis

05-29-06, 12:04 PM		Maybe God roll a natural one when making some brains, or they rolled a natural one on their saving roll to prevent brain breakage.
urial angel of death

05-29-06, 12:22 PM		I didn't mean that I was driven insane by that little thing. I refered to the fact that both of us now live in padded rooms. :D
Kaizer_Ryu

05-29-06, 12:47 PM		OOC: Maybe different types of insanity effect certain people more than others. Or, it effects you more if you haven't thought about something 'that way'. For example: when I first thought of Satnak doing so-called "girly" things, I just couldn't. But, as you all saw, I got over that pretty quick.

Thinking of Captain Jarlot as "normal" isn't so hard when you consider what his alternates and his father are like (as well as the rest of the crew). Kanatash killing kittens didn't break me, it just made me sad :weep: . Kithle singing...now that is just wrong. I can see it better now, but it still weirds me out.

Alt-Jaela and 13? Nope. Why? Terra and Lisa. My brain makes them do things far beyond freaky, so a Progenitor Dragon screwing the classic Lolita really doesn't bug me much :P . Kanatash and Caralot? Nah. Funny? Yes. Creepy? Yes. Insane? Yes. Did I break? No. I'm still trying to figure out how they do that with the incorporiality, though.
Chrys

05-29-06, 01:05 PM		Acanthi dragged Beryl and co. to her house. Were she forced them to have tea in the Hall of Family Portraits.

P/Y/R: So I have 8 other Aunts? * is currently in a head lock hug from her aunt *

Acanthi: Yes, you are so cute… But why is my niece old them me?

Beryl: Because in the realm of the Fay time runs slower so even though she is old by my reckoning she is only three and half year old… but because she lived those 3 years in that plane she is now twenty.

Acanthi: That when right over my head

Chibi-Balor: Magic…

Acanthi: Oh.

Chibi-Balor: So if you don’t mind me asking Mistress… why…

Beryl: Obsession it seems to be a family trait… Our mother became total obsessed with father when she was about five, she was 15 when she conned him in to marring her, she was Sixteen when I came along…

Acanthi: and 25 years latter I came along…

Beryl: Yes I pretty much raised her because mother was busy ferry Thannish soldiers. It seems at this time the whole family beside me converted to Flamers…

Acanthi: Jeala is cute and you shouldn’t call us flamers.

Beryl: I’ll call you guys whatever I want! Any way that’s why she is Obsessed with me and it seem to me P/Y/R. I think we should get going before any of my other sis…

Another sister: Acanthi I’m Home and I brought Myra and Tyla with me.

Acanthi: Hey Assia, guess what Tifa home to visit

Beryl: If I ever find Murphy I swear by all the powers of Chaos and Evil he will pay so much
urial angel of death

05-29-06, 01:09 PM		OOC: Maybe different types of insanity effect certain people more than others. Or, it effects you more if you haven't thought about something 'that way'. For example: when I first thought of Satnak doing so-called "girly" things, I just couldn't. But, as you all saw, I got over that pretty quick.

Thinking of Captain Jarlot as "normal" isn't so hard when you consider what his alternates and his father are like (as well as the rest of the crew). Kanatash killing kittens didn't break me, it just made me sad :weep: . Kithle singing...now that is just wrong. I can see it better now, but it still weirds me out.

Alt-Jaela and 13? Nope. Why? Terra and Lisa. My brain makes them do things far beyond freaky, so a Progenitor Dragon screwing the classic Lolita really doesn't bug me much :P . Kanatash and Caralot? Nah. Funny? Yes. Creepy? Yes. Insane? Yes. Did I break? No. I'm still trying to figure out how they do that with the incorporiality, though.

Kanatash can be corpreal for 1 minute per day, so its got to be quick ;)
urial angel of death

05-29-06, 01:13 PM		OOC: Nothing in this theard has ever broken me. "The many things Mailee could be looking at in complete Arcane" has hardened me. I was fool enough to google some of the mentioned images.
cypher_zero

05-29-06, 01:36 PM		HOLY CRAP! there's 71 pages of this stuff! I've only read up through 25 so far... and it's taken me 2 weeks! Still trying to read through the rest of it... hopefully i'll catch up eventually.
Rei32491

05-29-06, 02:32 PM		I believe we are all sick, perverted, and horrible people. Writing comes from experience, so I wonder; what experiences drive this thread forward?

Don't answer that.
urial angel of death

05-29-06, 03:09 PM		I believe we are all sick, perverted, and horrible people. Writing comes from experience, so I wonder; what experiences drive this thread forward?

Don't answer that.

OOC:That is sig worthy

IC: Kanatash floats through Jarlot's wall to find Jarlot hammering furiously at his door.
Jarlot: Kanatash, thank the gods you're here. What happened? Why can't I open my door? Why is the lock talking in strange language to me?
Kanatash: Squishy saw Slip.
Jarlot: So?
Kanatash: Well Slip hunted neogi and was rather famous. So when Squishy saw her he did what any responsible neogi would. He locked down the ship. Setting all lock to verbal recognition in seven different languages. All but two of those languages are impossible for elves to pronounce.
Jarlot: Why don't I know the password for my own room?
Kanatash: Squishy naturally only told those he did not consider a liablity.
Jarlot: Who all is out there?
Kanatash: Terra, Tabitha, Lisa, Caralot, Sa'vor, Satnak, Levy, Volrath, Kithle, Andrea, Norbaz, Jaela, 13, Erk, and I are allowed free range. Nalfien can come out of his room, but Squishy monitars him at all times. We are begining to like not having you guys around. We might just keep it this way.
Caralot: (from outside the room) Oh Kenny!
Kanatash: Coming darling.
Jarlot: Wait, you can't just leave me here!
Kanatash floats throught the wall leaving Jarlot to suffer, atleast a little more.
Charles Phipps

05-29-06, 04:47 PM		When we reach page 100, we'll start a new one.

Maybe ask the Mods to archive it.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-29-06, 11:41 PM		Michael: Hey there, foxy lady.

Terra: What's up?

Michael: Are we good for tonight?

Terra: Hmmm...before I say, there's a little something I want to let you in on.

Michael: Uh...what?

Terra: *smiles evilly* I've been messing with you half the time.

Michael: You what?! You can't be serious! They were all so real!

Terra: Of course they were. Didn't some of the things that happened seem a bit too good to be true?

Michael: I...well...uh...

Terra: *smirks* We may be flexible, but you really give us too much credit...

Michael: ...what was real and what wasn't?

Terra: It'll be easier if I sort it out for you. This may sting a little.

Michael: Not aga-*urk*

(In Michael's mind. All ()'d smilies are Michael's reaction)

Terra: Now let's see... (begins sifting through memories) This one's not ( :( ). This one's not ( :weep: ). Ooooh, I liked this one ( :D ), but it's not ( :banghead: ). This one's real ( :w00t: ), you were actually better than I expected ( :ahem: ). This one was a little over the top ( :blush: ). Still, despite it not being real, I got some good ideas from it ( :mad: ). This one's real ( :dancin: ). This one's one of my favorites ( :cheer: ), but it's not ( :censored: !). I think I freaked you out a little this time ( :embarrass )...

This continues on for a while.

(back in reality)

Michael: You're mean, you know that? Every last one of the ones I scored with you was a lie?

Terra: Yes. Just because Lisa likes it doesn't mean I have to.

Michael: And I thought I was just that good... Anyway, you still haven't answered my first question.

Terra: *nods* Lisa requested your presence. How can I say no to that face?

Michael: WOO HOO!!!

Terra: Just don't expect me to go easy on you. :schemes:

Michael: :mymy:

OOC: To clarify, Lisa is the main beneficiary of these little trysts. If there were any doubts about my comparison to Shakespeare, this should take care of them.
Charles Phipps

05-30-06, 01:28 AM		Jarlot: Okay, guys I've got some bad news...

Ketler: Do we ever have any GOOD news on this ship?

Jarlot: Point taken. I'm afraid we've been infected by anime.

Ketler: Again?

Jarlot: No. I don't mean catgirls, obnoxiously huge swords, and girls named Sakura. That sort of stuff is mainstream.

Ketler: It is?

*Ninja Jaela pops down, throws a giant shuriken, and then jumps back away*

Jarlot: No, I mean the most feared and evil anime of all.

Ketler: Oh GOD, Not GUY love manga!?

Jarlot: Okay, not THAT bad.

Doog: Damnit.

Jarlot: No, I mean....GIRLS anime.

Ketler: I'm at once terrified and intrigued.

Jarlot: Yeah, we should be feeling the affects of reality shifting into alignment with it soon enough.

Ketler: I can't wait. *grumbles*

FUSHIGI YUUGI: FORGOTTEN FREEDOM EDITION

*Sakura glows with an unearthly light*

Sakura: Weird, I suddenly feel like I've become the center of the universe on this ship.

*looks down at her new attire*

Sakura: I'm also wearing a school girl's outfit for some reason.

Terra: I feel strange too.....

Sakura: How so Miss Terra?

Terra: I dunno. Like despite being a much more attractive older woman with a successful career of her own, I'm profoundly jealous of a high school girl.

Michael: Hey.

*suddenly is vaguely feminine, incredibly good looking, and looks lovingly into Sakura's eyes*

Michael: Oh despite being an anti-paladin, I'm really not so bad underneath it all and maintain my bad boy yet sensetive guy underneath feel.

Terra: I'm extraordinarily creeped out now. THIS IS ALL SAKURA'S FAULT!

*Terra claps her hands over her mouth and looks even more freaked out*

King Boranal the Third: *appears out nowhere, another vaguely feminine looking guy* Oh, I have searched everywhere for the most beautiful and adorable woman in the world. Please Sakura, be mine!

Terra: Lisa, can you believe this garbage?

Lisa: *is tearing up anime style* Oh woe, though I love Michael, how can I ever compete with the beauty and wonderful personality of Sakura!? WAAAHHHHH! I'll just pine helplessly!

Terra:Gah!

Ketler: At least in my credit I'm now good looking too, but I have to share the spotlight with those too guys. I'll probably develop a profoundly tragic past.

Terra: I have to figure out something to do about this sickening display....

Ketler: Like assemble a host of underpowered monsters to send after Sakura one at a time? Then slowly as she builds her strength ultimately futiely die in an attack?

Terra: Yes! NO! Must...resist....Shojo...cliches. Am...not...an...anime...villainess....be cause...I'm....older and...pretty!

BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR WHAT HAPPENS!

5787. Sakura is now the center of everything.
5788. She can eat as much as she wants without going overweight.
5789. She is able to angst and woe about her social position despite being the center of everything.
5790. Terra is now required to be obnoxiously jealous of her.
5791. Sakura gets ALL the cool magical power ups.
5792. Everyone must instantly fall in love with Sakura if they're straight males.....and even some girls will tragically.
5793. Lisa is now Sakura's supporting cast.
5794. Macho guys are no longer allowed on this ship.
5795. Other females must degenerate into supporting cast with less cool powers or villainesses.
5796. Yes, for your clarification, Jaelathundra Sakura Jarlot should be running her religion than running around the ship picking up slavishly devoted guys.
5797. ...However she's the center of the universe.
5798. All forces attempting to subvert Sakura's place as center of the universe will automatically fail because of her perky goodness.
5799. Sakura will never change out of her schoolgirl uniform except to wear a different one.
5800. No I don't know when this plot is ending.
rampant

05-30-06, 02:02 AM		Satnak - Wow this is creepy.

Levy - Yeah, this happen often?

Satnak - Well not this specifically, but looking at my list its been mostly kidnappings, and drama recently so we're due for some sillyness.

Levy - Well good a time as any to monkey wrench it.

Satnak - Oh?

Levy - ahem... GET YOUR SORRY HIDES BACK HERE YOU TWO CLOWNS!!!
--------------------------

Sakura - AHhhh! What was that an Earthquake!?

Terra - IT has begun.
--------------------------

Telfon - How much trouble do you think we're in?

Rixle - Less if we hurry, and offer the loot as a gift.

Midshipbold 1 - What's going sir?

Rixle - It's time for Satnak's Gradutaion Ceremony and official Marking as the Breaker Prime.

Telfon - This basically makes her the queen ***** of our universe.

Midshipbold 2 - Well then we must get to work at once this loot while valuable is meaning less we need to do something with it.

Midshipbold 3 - I have an idea!!
--------------------------------------

OOC : Ok this is How these ceremony's work first you have a period of standard partying, buffets, possibly some music and dancing. Next there is an open mike for anyone who wants to say a few words on the occasion. Then the actual ceremony which will be detailed later in order to make it more dramatic. Anyone who wants to have a head the next day better show up. I figure you guys can use the first two phases to milk this anime shift for a bit.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-30-06, 02:25 AM		OOC: YAY! Terra's the bad girl! Wait...that's not a good thing in a Shojo anime. Crap. I'll have to think of something to do about this...

Maybe a castle in a non-descript location (an EVIL lair) where she gathers her minions (EVIL minions) and attempts to take Sakura down (by using EVIL). Since cute things tend not to die, the chibi wand will be used to make her minions cute (but no less deadly), thus disabling the 'heroes' ability to kill hordes of them in one strike.

Of course, being as awesome as she is, she will ultimately be successful in her attempts when she attacks Sakura with monsters with a BARE MINIMUM of 30 CR's beyond Sakura and Company's abilities and in overwhelmingly massive numbers. She may even make an appearance herself if things turn out badly. She will, of course, NOT run away if her army is defeated as the 'heroes' will be greatly weakened and easy to take down. This will be coupled with using the anti-chibi wand liberally so that the divine intervention factor of adorable shojo's is nullified.

She will NOT monologue or freely discuss her plans with any captured enemies. Further more, if any of her enemies claim to have switched sides, she will not take their word at face value. She will also not brainwash them and use them against the 'heroes'.

Victory will further be assured by using dirty tricks and covert action to destroy any and all wise secondary characters that could teach Sakura how to use her power and/or counter Terra's. Terra will obviously be kidnapping Lisa to keep her out of harms way. Her minions will be well versed in the following:

1.) No mercy because they're cute or by any form of honor. BECAUSE WE'RE THE BAD GUYS IN AN ANIME. IT'S WHAT WE DO.
2.) No gloating until they are CONFIRMED TO BE DEAD. Meaning IN PIECES AND/OR MISSING SEVERAL CRUCIAL ORGANS (preferably both), and then ONLY if you have each piece in custody.
3.) No returning without their corpses, those blasted shojos always seem to be able to revive themselves and their companions somehow.
4.) If things go badly, CALL FOR REINFORCEMENTS. I will not be mad, and will not look disfavorably on you if you do. If you don't and survive, you will wish you hadn't.
5.) Any overly long chants by the 'heroes', ESPECIALLY Sakura, will be interrupted ASAP. Correction, make that ANY chanting. OR MONOLOGUES.

OOC: I think that just about covers all cliche shojo anime villainess shortcomings. I'm not really going to do this (unless you want me to), I just wanted to see how many cliches I could counter at one time.
rampant

05-30-06, 02:47 AM		Levy - Tables

SC commander - Squeak

Levy - Chairs

SC commander - Squeak

Levy - Plates, napkins, utensils

SC commander - Squeak

Levy - Stage

SC commander - Squeak

Levy - Mic

SC commander - Squeak

Levy - Food

SC commander - Chirrup?

Norbaz - 5 more mintues

Levy - Music?

SC commander - Rup (face paw)
urial angel of death

05-30-06, 07:07 AM		Volrath: Yay another anime I get to be a part of!
Terra: You've been in animes?
Volrath: Yes! I already know the part I have to play in this one. I'm your little second-in-command guy. P/Y/R and I will attack with each of the monster groups you send out. At the beginning we're really a treat. Eventually though the heroes will defeat us so many times that we become nothing but comic relief. That is until one of the heriones is alone. In which case we will be able to overpower her nomatter what happens. Inevitably whatever guy is her "true love" will come to resue her.
Terra: You've done this a lot haven't you.
Volrath: Yes. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-30-06, 09:08 AM		OOC: Sorry. Except for a power outage on my block this should have occured during the lockdown incident.
Alt-Jaela and 13? Nope. Why? Terra and Lisa. My brain makes them do things far beyond freaky, so a Progenitor Dragon screwing the classic Lolita really doesn't bug me much :P .IC:
Jaela approaches Jarlot as he tries to blow open his door, with comic results.

Jarlot: Ah, Jaela, I don't suppose you could get me in—

Jaela: It will cost you a conversation. (icy stare)

Jarlot: No way!

Jaela: *shrug* Then you can just fall off the wagon.

Jarlot: What?

Jaela: Squishy locked down the ship so tightly that you can't get from here to any liquor. :devil:

Jarlot: Wha…how…that's not possible. The entire ship had to comform to the Lyrandar Fire Safety Stan—(looks critically at Jaela's expression) You did this! I don't have to take this, I'm the captain! I order you to help me get in here!

Jaela: I won't, not until you talk to me. 13 made it possible. Because he can do funny things with time he made sure the ship had doors where there were none before. And even if you could break through you'd find that you've been sober ever since you took command and do not allow any alchohol on board under penalty of death.

Jarlot: You're bluffing! Just like you let me think there was something going on between you and 13!

(Flashback to right after Kantash discovers Jaela is Batman.)
Jarlot (holding Jaela's cowl): So you’re Batman?

Jaela: Yeah.

Jarlot: And this whole thing with 13?

Jaela: Every good super-hero needs a cover story. And on this ship it has to be a truly horrifying one, otherwise every über is poking into your private life.

Jarlot: And the photos?

Jaela: What, a girl can’t have a hobby?

Jarlot: (brain quickly rewinding to avoid melting) You’re Batman?

Jaela: Don’t ask me why. I talked to Igor about it and he thinks I not only inherited your blood but your inherent crazy existence.

Jarlot: You’re not my daughter.

Jaela: :mad: I am so your daughter. Why won’t you acknowledge that?

Jarlot: (pulls out a bottle of something) I don’t have to listen to this. (swig) Get out.
(end of flashback)

Jaela: You hide from me in your sea of booze. Well I’m not letting you escape there until you realize that I am your daughter. All I want is to get to know my father—

Jarlot: That’s just it. You’re an alt, so your father’s an alt-me from some other universe. So you should be tracking him down.

Jaela: I’ve inherited your deep well of craziness. I have to be your Jaela.

Jarlot: But my daughter is constantly protected by Aerith from falling into what you are. (crack appears in conviction) Ho could you be her?

Jaela: I’m a time hiccup. I’m the exact same Jaela from this Eberron but separate in my own part of the time stream. Why do you think no one could read my mind to find out the truth? Because I’m slightly out of phase with everyone else. 13 can do the same thing with itself.

OOC: That’s all for this. Just wanted to explain
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-30-06, 09:25 AM		A stunningly beautiful female with obviously illogical yet totally male-attracting body features walks into Erk's Place. Roosevelt is building some tables in preparation for Brawl Night. The bar employees are going about their regular business. Many of the lesser-used crew are at the bar complaining about the anime convertion. They stop when they notice the woman.

Woman: I am the goddess Animé.

Lucky: Won't work here. Erk's Place is a neutral zone where people can relax with only minor annoying stuff happening to them.

Animé: I'm not here for cast. I already have all the clichéd people I need. I'm here to hire stage crew.

Roosevelt: Stage crew? As in people who build sets, that sort of thing?

Animé: Exactly. Things get destroyed a lot in anime, and yet there is rarely much notice of it. It all seems to get put back together so fast. And do you think that the perfect boutique just always happens to be right where it's plot-convenient? No, it requires a lot of rebuilding. And you have to make it so that it breaks spectacularly, or not life-threateningly, or that there's an oddly convenient hiding spot, or that there's more space on the inside than the outside. This ship's already got a lot of that, and I need that crew for my production.

Roosevelt stands swiftly and salutes.

Roosevelt: So long as I don't have to be cute, I work for reasonable pay.

Animé: You? Cute? :confused: You look like a seriously defored Pokémon.

Roosevelt: :w00t:

OOC: Caralot would make a good hot scientist who can't get a date because despite her obviously good looks all those dumb men can't seem to see past her bookworm nature.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-30-06, 10:59 AM		Terra: Ok. Now, you're fighting the heroes. Things are going well until one uses some awesome supermove they just pulled out of their a** for no reason, taking down most, if not all of your troops. They then collapse, leaving the rest of them helpless. What do you do?

Volrath: Run away?

*WHACK* Terra hits him with Death Paper.

Terra: WRONG!

Volrath: Uh...taunt them about never being able to win in the end and then run away?

*WHACK*

Terra: WRONG!

Volrath: Ow...ok...try to take them down, only to be called away at the last moment by some cliched plot device, sparing them from a horrific and painful death?

*WHACK*

Terra: WRONG!

(An hour later, Volrath is covered in paper cuts, and Terra is still trying to break him of the cliched villain weaknesses)

Volrath: Ummmm...kill them horribly and painfully without monologuing, grandstanding, or overly flashy moves they have time to get away from or counter?

Terra: And?

Volrath: Confirm their deaths, for ALL of them, then bring back the corpses under heavy guard. The bodies will be under the watchful eyes of our intelligent minions the whole time, and they will also be separate and out of sight from each other so that no combo-love moves can suddenly revive them. We will not be distracted by any cliched plot devices, and reinforcements will be called in regardless of how "pitiful and helpless" they are.

Terra: Good. Here's a cookie.

Volrath: YAY!!!
JakeQuistis

05-30-06, 12:02 PM		"Hmm.. For some reason I feel like working for some evil villainess, building giant pilotable robots and other devices to defeat my rival, Ketler! Who built a robot while drunk and keelhauled, and thusly doesn't know what half of it does. And for some reason, his supposedly faulty robot always defeats my perfect inventions by exploiting some flaw that got into them somehow, or by unleashing a new attack they figured out how to use. And then near the end of the season, I would fight them myself, and nearly beat them, but then find out that Sakura is my long-lost sister. I would then turn against the evil villainess, but she would nearly kill me, only to be defeated by Sakura." Allen says to no one in particular. "At least I have a decent enough will score to resist reality."
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-30-06, 12:09 PM		(Sorting the mail in the mail room.)

Igor: *sigh* I tried to teatth Terra the wayth of the villain. Giving the heroth every chanth to ethcape, be thpectacularly dramatic, feel thuperier to the heroth tho that you never thee them getting theadly thronger, all thothe good thingth. The hath her own mind, though. The only really learned "have an ethcape route".

13: Are there any rules for smart villains? You know, like "make the heroes defeating you part of your complex plan"?

Igor: No. The did lithen when I tought her how to run an evil empire in thuthe a way ath to leave itth inhabitantth only mildly fruthtrated.

13: I don't really think it's all that bad. We're talking about anime. Genre badly needs some actually interesting villains instead of all this soap-opera :censored:.

Igor: Yeth.

13: Huh? Wait, you actually agree with me?

Igor: There ith thuth a thing ath too clithéd a villain. Being a true villain ith a noble art that only cometh after many hourth thpent crafting monologueth and detailing complexth planth that have only the tinyetht flaw that thtill manageth to bring the whole enterprithe crathing down. A real villain ith ath popular ath the heroth. They are a thetht, and thothe who can't win thouldn't be heroth.

13: Hmm. :thinks: :lightbulb Maybe that's what Terra learned form you.

Igor: Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-30-06, 12:59 PM		Sa'vor is perfectly camoflauged, armed with a sniper crossbow, he glances down the sight. and aims so that the bolt will land directly in the back of Terras head. he squeezes the trigger... then stops.

Sa'vor: wait... why the hell am i working for the good people?

Slip: ( appearing from the shadows next to him) because we need the money.

Sa'vor: *nods* excactly. but this doesnt seem like the kind of thing good would do does it?

Slip: how so?

Sa'vor: usualy its the "evil" side that hires assassins, whom then are defeated and learn the error of their ways at the side of good. only to disappear into the sunset and show up for the last battle or somthing at the end of the first season.

Slip: true... but lets at least complete this mission.

Sa'vor: *turns round to face her* we're evil right.

Slip: yes

Sa'vor: so, why are we assassinating the evil villaness?

Slip: because we dont whant her in charge.

Sa'vor: you know, i really think that this is a waste of time.

Slip: why?

Sa'vor: you see. the heroes think that the villain is dead. so they let their gaurd down. then in the second season. really wierd things begin to happen, and then near the end it turns out the villains really alive.

Slip: true. so your point is, why bother when she's going to come back as a plot device anyway?

Sa'vor: excatly.

Slip: because we need the money for our retirement.

Sa'vor: *smiles* i knew there was a reason.

turns back towards the podium in which Terra stands. she's continuing to rant and rave about world domination.Sa'vor takes aim and fires. the bolt whistels through the air, a gust of wind sends the bolt off course and it hits Volrath in the shoulder. Sa'vor curses, and shrinks back into the shadows to find a new position. he'd find his mark eventualy...
Chrys

05-30-06, 01:26 PM		Beryl: We are so not going back to the ship until that who mess is over...

P/Y/R: But I wanna see Bishie Volrath...

Chibi-Balor: For the love of Beryl with stop smiting me!

Other sistersI have really gotten to yet who are now wearing magcal girl clothing: NO! For the Flame! Some other total chessey battle cry!

Acanthi:Who Volrath?

P/Y/R: He's my big ball of tenetcal loven :drool: :inlove:

Every one else: :blink: :shocked: :OMG! :twitch:

ooc: yeah P/Y/R needs to stay away from Volrath till this is over... other wise it might go from shojo to hentia :embarrass
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-30-06, 01:54 PM		ooc: yeah P/Y/R needs to stay away from Volrath till this is over... other wise it might go from shojo to hentia :embarrass
OOC: As opposed to what on this thread? :bored:

IC:As Mia is going about her business on the Forgotten Freedom, she comes upon a huge sack wobbling down the corridor. It stops in front of her.

13’s voice: You Mia?

Mia: I am.

13 scrambles like a lizard out from under the bag. It leaps on top and dives into the mail. There are a few minutes of rummaging, and then a small black paw extends holding two envelopes with cellophane windows. Mia takes them.

Mia: What is SoulCharge, and why would it be sending me a letter? And what’s this other one? “You may have already won 1,000 glifars”? How do they know I’m here?

13 (from inside the bag): This isn’t the only type. Any person on this ship with any kind of communication device gets daily calls from House Sivis asking if they’d like to save money on their scrying bill. As if anyone pays for that. According to Igor they’re probably manifestations of reality-flow feeding needy fractions of being. A kind of “half-life existence parasite”. They latch onto any universe with a modicum of smart, sentient creatures and drain away all their useful brain functions and comprehension of reality. Not to mention causing annoyance, frustration, and wasted time.

Mia: Upsetting the natural order.

13: If you really think one exists. They’re more an impediment to free-creation mechanics than single-outcome results.

Mia: What?

13 sticks its head out of the bag.

13: These things mess with free will more than pre-determinism. Sort of like you.

Mia: That statement is completely ridiculous. *empathic memory alteration*

13: I know. That’s why it’s totally true.

Mia: That’s illogical. (pause) I think. Wait, I’m confused. What were you talking about?

13: The fact that you are an impediment to free will on this ship. I think that's a bad idea. These people are at their best when not being pushed around by some "higher" power.

Mia: Oh, yes. *wave of mood-altering power* I think you find that I am a charming person and that my presence here has a beneficial effect on the crew.

13: You mean in the form of a body they can be jelous about, another voice that they ignore, someone they can b*tch about? Because other than another comic plot device, this ship is rarely without whatever it needs.

Mia: :blink: What? (train-of-thought-recovery pause) Because I’m a competent healer. *why the F*** won’t you FORGET already pulse*

13: Pffst! This crew doesn’t need that. All they need is a steady supply of stupid people and unlimited quantities of alcohol. Their natural combination unimpeded brilliance and illogical idiocy will take care of the rest. You mess with that and the entire thing comes crashing down on you.

Quench appears around the far corner. He spots 13.

Quench: :love:

13: Gah! Not again! I thought the cliché was that dogs were supposed to hate mail-delivery personel.

He snatches up the bag and dashes off, pursued closely by Quench.

Mia: :twitch:
rampant

05-30-06, 03:35 PM		Norbaz - I here your having trouble finding music for the party?

Levy - OI would you belive the Squirrels have only just set up a bardic college.

Norbaz - Yes considering their civilization is less than a month old.

Levy - That does it next time I need a party set up get an advanced society to do it.

Norbaz - Well Devon can ply pretty well, just for the love of all thats right with the world do not let him sing. The hunter kid has some decent tunes, and Marish is sometimes a bard, her class tends to get revised every time someone asks. Kithle can be just about anything so he probably could play something.

Levy - Well then lets get this party started.

--------------------------

Chalky - Ok who else just got a feeling of impending doom?

Crew - (Raises hands, tentacles, wings, claws, etc.)
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-30-06, 05:51 PM		Silver and Crow: Hello.

Levy: :eek: Where did you two come from? I didn't sense you approach.

Silver: Nowhere.

Levy: Where's nowhere?

Crow: No, seriously, we come from nowhere. Just off the middle.

Levy: :uh-huh: Is that supposed to make sense?

Crow: No.

Silver: We're here because you need music, and we can provide it.

Levy: You're Silver and Crow. Every time I ask Satnak about you she says "They don't exist."

Silver: Exactly.

Crow: We have no existance.

Levy: :surrender Could we skip to the part where you guys sing?

Crow: :confused: Who said anything about singing?

Silver: We provide the singers.

Levy: What does that mean?

Silver and Crow: Watch.

They look over at Norbaz, who's standing near Andrea. Suddenly he launches into a operatic ballad about his inability to come to terms with his love for her, all within 10 ft. of her, and at a volume that allows even those standing all the way at the other end of the ship to hear him. Yet Andrea acts like she doesn't hear a thing.

Levy: :blink: :OMG! Wow! When Satnak pathed that you guys were surreal she wasn't using a metaphor.

Crow: We can tap into underlying illogical probability and cause it to become reality.

Silver: Meaning we can do things that are obviously stupid yet incredibly amusing. :D

Levy: Could you make Satnak sing like that?

Silver: Oh, sure.

Crow: But that would be too stupid.

Silver: On our part. :rimshot:

Levy: Norbaz seems to think that Kithle has some singing talent.

Silver and Crow: :ahem: We're going to pretend you didn't say that.
rampant

05-30-06, 06:13 PM		Kithle - Norbaaaaaaaaz!

Norbaz - I said play, instrument. She said sing.

Kithle - Consider yourself lucky I'm too much of a coward to make the chili otherwise i'd just eat your brain for the secrets. Be warned I will have my vengeance, I'm warning you because i still owe andrea a few favors for using her wraiths to keep kanatash under control.

Norbaz - Ah the downside to being the center of a complicated series of alliances and rivalries.

Kithle - Feh!
Phantomcrossing

05-30-06, 08:41 PM		Norbaz: Though for future reference, the Alt Jarlot League did something to pull the base recipe for the chille out of my head. I've been trying to recreate it for a few weeks, which is why I've been otherwise scarce.

Kilthe: What, then what have we been using all this time.

Norbaz: Modified Murlond's spoon chilli generator has been what we've been using. Though I imagine Satnak has held onto hers for a while now. I've been using mine to fill the stockpile.

Kilthe: ...so you can't make the Chilli?

Marish: And he can't bring himself to ask Andrea out to dinner.

Kilthe: When did you get here?

The catgirl shrugs.

Norbaz: She's been doing that a bit lately.
Kaizer_Ryu

05-30-06, 10:32 PM		OOC: 13 is absolutely right about Terra.

IC:

Terra: What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Abberation Artificer: What? I'm designing armor that is nigh inpenetrable except for one fatal flaw that will be exposed through a plot device and then easily exploited by the heroes. I also have no plans to remedy the flaw once it is discovered.

Terra: AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WITH A SENCE OF PRIDE?!

*whacks him with Death Paper*

Terra: We are trying to win here! Incompetence is not an option!

Volrath: Why are you so upset?

Terra: I just spent the last hour ranting about world domination! I don't WANT to rule the world! I was so into it, I ignored a clear threat to my life from Sa'vor, something I would never do normally. And why the hell am I so jealous of someone just out of puberty?!

Volrath: As the villainess, you are working with an extreme disadvantage. All cliches and plot devices will work against you when, by all other accounts, you should win easily. It's the girls anime infection. It's changing the rules of reality.

Terra: The rules of reality? Hah! I bend those to my will on a daily basis. I will not be taken down by poorly designed plot devices and obvious cliches! If they want to win, they're going to have to work for it!
urial angel of death

05-30-06, 10:52 PM		ooc: yeah P/Y/R needs to stay away from Volrath till this is over... other wise it might go from shojo to hentia :embarrass

OOC: It is spelled hentai. Stop looking at me like that. It's completely natural for me to know that. :blush: :shifty: Just a quick question. Isn't shojo a type of hentai?

IC: Volrath, now sporting bishi anime look, is adressing the new recruits of "Terra's Army of Evil" (tm).
Volrath: All weapons are to be used as they were intended. I don't want to see any swords being thrown or crossbows blungeoning.All of you must also learn to aim within two weeks. Those unable to hit a man-sized target at 60 yards will be used for target practice. Any questions?
A nervous looking young man raises his hand.
Volrath: Yes, you in the back.
man: Is it true that Terra employs aberrations?
woman (sitting beside the young man) : A better question would be, "Why are we being commanded by a child?"
This gets an eruption of laughter from the recruits.
Volrath gets up and walks over to the woman. With each stride he seems to grow larger, until he can look her in the eyes. Volrath grabs onto the woman's cheeks and kisses her in a rather violent manner. This of course causes even more laughter from the others. The woman's face, that at first looked disgusted, changes to a look of pain and fear. She pushes Volrath away. He stumbles backward. This causes his long stinewy tongue to rip out of her mouth. With his comes the woman' stongue as well.It detaches with a sickening rip, and a stream of blood.
The woman pulls out a repeating crossbow. She unloads five bolts into Volrath. Each bolt explodes in a blast of silver flame on contact. The explosions rip Volrath apart, splattering bits of him all over the room.
The woman's breathin returns to normal, but only for a moment. It speeds back up as she sees the bloody slime rush together and reform Volrath.
Volrath: Good shot. :devil:
Volrath rushes over and kisses her again. This time though his chin splits down the middle (ala Blade 2). His newly formed mandibles reach up and crush down on her jaw. Tentacle erupt from the insides of his cheeks. They rap around her head, pulling it into his mouth. The woman's arms flail wildly as her head rips off, with a sickening snap.
After a few minutes of chewing Volrath spits out shards of skull. He then licks the last traces of brain from his bloody lips.
Volrath: Hope that answered both questions. You are all excused.
As soon as the words left his lips the room emptied.
Volrath: Hope they learned something. :smirk:
Kaizer_Ryu

05-30-06, 11:23 PM		Terra: :mymy: Nicely done. We needed some horrible violence to counterbalance all the sweetness.

Volrath: :D Thanks.

Terra: Just don't go overboard. The more evil you are, the easier it becomes to take you down through plot devices and desperate supermoves.

Volrath: Really?

Terra: Yeah. The more clearly evil and beyond redemption you are, the less qualms the heroes have about taking you down. Moral quandries tend to slow them down. Try doing more character development about how much you miss P/Y/R within earshot of the heroes. And leave out the dirty bits.

Volrath: Awwww...but that's the fun part...

Terra: If they see you, at least a little bit, as a sympathetic character, they'll be more hesitant to kill you if they get the chance. Unexplained supermoves and hidden powers tend only to show up against opponents whose actions scream nothing but "THIS GUY IS EVIL".

Volrath: How do you know so much about this stuff?

Terra: As part of the evil deal, I pretended to be interested in Ketler and got him to spill the details about how this stuff works. Then I left him in a semi-hypnotic state. He thought he was some guy named Keitaro Urashima (Love Hina. Not really shojo, but still funny) when I left.
urial angel of death

05-30-06, 11:32 PM		OOC: Is anyone saving these posts? After 9 tonight eastern time they will all be consumed in the update. So a few are in danger.
rampant

05-31-06, 04:10 AM		Death Paper - When Did I replace the chain of command? :ahem:

OOC : I'm not complaining I like where this is going, I just thought we should get his thoughts on it. :D
-----------------------

Levy - Well Theres the stage, lets see. Devon, gagged, on guitar. Hunter on izzat a keyboard :uh-huh: , Kithle has the drums, Marish Is base, and back up singer. Silver, and crow will be rotating out singers as the night progresses. Oh yeah lets stop time at sunset shall we.

Silver - You can do that?!

Levy - I could :D , but I mean lets set the ship to stay constant relative with the postion of the day/night devider.

Crow - Oh, phew.

Levy - AHEM

Everyone on the FF is focusing on Levy.

Levy - Well the foods ready, the music starts with Chalky and "Bad Moon Rising", don't step on the waiters.

SC troopers and Squirrel ravegers in mini waiter's unforms, send knife-like glares at anyone who so much a smirks, glares that promise undying vengeance upon the transgressor. The Pack master looks especialy peeved.

Caralot - Ooooh so cute

Roosevelt - I feel for the little guys.

Levy - Leave any gifts or drink orders at the desk to your left. Now party before I skin ya alive and roll your still breathing carcasses in a salt flat.

Crow - Ok now that is going in my notebook.
urial angel of death

05-31-06, 06:43 AM		Volrath: Must resist urge to spike punch
Terra: Volrath I don't think there is any punch
Volrath: Damn.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-31-06, 07:13 AM		OOC: Oh, wow, rampant, you've got each of my characters down.
Chrys

05-31-06, 09:25 AM		OOC: As opposed to what on this thread?
as a oppeded to me sitting dow and writing it out :angelhide and then me being banned for life :weep: instead of just hinting

OOC: It is spelled hentai. Stop looking at me like that. It's completely natural for me to know that. Just a quick question. Isn't shojo a type of hentai?

in case you can't tell spelling is the bane of the life :embarrass I mean I could looked in my favorites and saw how to spell it but eh ;). Nope Shojo is just girly manga as oppesed to shojen or boys manga... you might be thinking of Yuri [nope not spelled right], all Yuri is shojo but nor all shojo is yuri. At lest that how it was explained to me ;) [meaning I'm most likly wrong :rolleyes: ]


P/Y/R: For some reason I think I need to punish Volrath for something
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-31-06, 09:31 AM		Time Hiccup Jaela Jarlot (JJ, aka Batman), Ninja 14/Monk 3

When Volrath caused the Silver Flame to cease to exist, Jaela Jarlot became a different person entirely. Left on the mean streets of Thrane, she gathered together a group of urchins and formed a pseudo-community of the downtrodden. Jaela acted as their leader and guardian, growing in skill and influence until she was watching over the entirety of the Thrannish capital. It was then that history reasserted itself, and JJ was shunted to the Forgotten Freedom. Not to be deterred, she recruited the time-messing 13 to provide cover, and took on a persona that just popped into her head: Batman. She became Flamekeep’s vigilante do-gooder, attracting a host of weird adversaries in the process. However the whole Batman identity broke down when Kantash discovered her trying to get the muscle suit off.

JJ is now in a sort of limbo state, with no purpose and no real need to exist.

Special Moves:
“Swing from high buildings (even if high buildings aren’t there)”: If it counts as a big city Batman can find a way to go swinging around on grappling hooks high up no matter the actual size of the buildings.
“BAM! POW!”: Words pop out of the air to confuse Batman’s enemies long enough for her to hit them.
“No-look back-hand”: Your enemy runs at you from behind and at the last second you just raise your fist without looking and slam him in the face. It's sooooooooo cool.
"You know, I'd go out with you Ketler except my love interests are always getting kidnapped by psycho villains and I don't think I like you enough to rescue you."
Kaizer_Ryu

05-31-06, 10:21 AM		Death Paper - When Did I replace the chain of command? :ahem:

OOC : I'm not complaining I like where this is going, I just thought we should get his thoughts on it. :D
Terra: Evil villainesses always have to have some kind of allies or spies that are close to the heroes. Ones they don't suspect. Since you're the pseudo-figurehead/leader of the squirrels...

Death Paper: OOoooooooo, that IS evil. Using something as cute as us to turn on the heroes at a crucial time.

Terra: You also make a great enforcer when it comes to the side-effects of the anime infection that make my minions incompetent. You worked wonderfully on Volrath.

Death Paper: That was fun. Anything else?

Terra: You also seem to be immune to the effects of this anime crap. The chibi wand may have affected you, but so far I don't see anything bad with this one. That's why I'm hoping next time I start monologuing for no reason, or divulging my plans to the heroes, or anything else stupid that I wouldn't normally do, that you'll snap me out of it.

Death Paper: By what means?

Terra: If I'm holding you at the time, a good, swift smack to the side of my head should do the trick. Or a whack to the shin if you're on the ground.

Death Paper: Does this mean I'm your anti-cliche device?

Terra: Pretty much. Quite a lofty position considering the situation.

Death Paper: :D
Kaizer_Ryu

05-31-06, 10:35 AM		OOC: I wanted to get everyone's input on an upcoming event. You see, while I have some ideas for Terra's & Lisa's wedding (and a whole lot for the honeymoon :D ), I figured something this big needs more than just me coming up with ideas. So here's your chance to effect future events.

As far as I can tell, there is no precedent in Eberron for such a ceremony, so assume the basic format to be one similar to the real world. Other than that, I'd like to hear your thoughts. Things like: where it should be, who should be what, what should happen (sane and insane), etc. Help me give this the Forgotten Freedom flare. I don't promise to use everything, but I'll certainly consider any and all suggestions. I'm expecting quite a few out of SilvercatMoonpaw. Just no p**sing off the brides. This is their day.

Remember, if you don't give any input, you can't complain if I screw it up. :P
urial angel of death

05-31-06, 11:10 AM		Volrath: I get to bring the elephant.
Terra: The entity from non-existance means a western wedding.
Volrath: Okay then what color dress are you wearing? White is absolutely out of the question. :D
*slap*
Volrath: That hurt. :(
Kaizer_Ryu

05-31-06, 11:15 AM		Volrath: I get to bring the elephant.
Terra: The entity from non-existance means a western wedding.
Volrath: Okay then what color dress are you wearing? White is absolutely out of the question. :D
*slap*
Volrath: That hurt. :(
Urial, by "western wedding" I hope you meant the typified West, as in Europe and North America. I am not, in any way, shape, or form, going to do this with horses or shotguns. Jeff Foxworthy does not get any say on what this will be like. :tongue:

And no, Terra will not be wearing white. That's Lisa's color. I haven't decided Terra's yet.
JakeQuistis

05-31-06, 11:42 AM		"Hmm.. So are they both going to be wearing wedding dresses, or is one of them going to wear a tuxedo?" Allen asks. "Just a thought that popped up in my mind. I'm now going to go off to betray Beryl and join the good guys, thus sealing my death. Wait... I'm already dead. Never mind then."
Chrys

05-31-06, 12:02 PM		Beryl: You mean Terra, The only thing I have to do with with this silly shojo arc is the fact that it seems all of my sister have become Magical girls... :evillaugh


Occ:

Kaizer_Ryu I was going to Flesh out a few of Beryl's sister and I was going to have one of them have a huge crush on Lisa... hmmm do I smell a 'bride' kidnapping plot comming or what :D
rwarner3701

05-31-06, 02:38 PM		Long time reader want to say awesome work on this thread. I read it just about everyday and have been working on a little project to thank you all for it.

So let me introduce, http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Main_Page

I am working on getting the plot lines cleaned up and connected and have been posting a few pages a day but would love any help on the character development and anything else you feel like adding. Any of you can change anything you want but try to leave the content copied from the thread as is.

If you do want to post new plot lines please start at page 41 of the thread and since that is the point I am working up to at the moment.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-31-06, 03:50 PM		OOC: I'm expecting quite a few out of SilvercatMoonpaw.
OOC: Since you mentioned it :shifty:
Just no p**sing off the brides. This is their day.
I’m going to have to disappoint you on this one, as I have two words for you:
1. Lisa’s relatives. :devil:
2. Dresses by Igor. [actual quote “There’s a good man with a needle and thread if I ever saw one.” :D]
3. Doves by Crow (he can turn into a flock of crows, and then turn into some doves).
4. Resident fertility god(dess) requirement fulfilled by Silver.
5. Service by Jaela Daran, Keeper of the Silver Flame.
6. Best man: Volrath.
7. Bridesmaids suggestions: Andrea, Aerith, Saberiel, Ninja Jaela 26.
8. Pining at the wedding: Norbaz.
9. Wedding pictures by Jaela Jarlot (aka Time Hiccup Jaela). [she created the infamous “Jaela” picture, she’s got to be good]
10. Security and wearing sunglasses: Sa’vor, the half-dragon army, Kithle, Mr. T.
11. Wedding crashers: Hippy Kantash and Jarlot Sr.
12. Other wedding animals NOT provided by Caralot.
13. Flowers by Terra.
14. Diamonds by 13 (time dilation).
15. Catering of the reception by Erk’s Place.
16. Music by “Chalky and the Scum”.
17. Drunken rant about all the embarrassing things Lisa has done aboard the FF: Captain Jarlot.
18. Toasts by the Entities from Beyond Non-existance (i.e. us).
Kaizer_Ryu

05-31-06, 04:10 PM		Occ: Kaizer_Ryu I was going to Flesh out a few of Beryl's sister and I was going to have one of them have a huge crush on Lisa... hmmm do I smell a 'bride' kidnapping plot comming or what :D
If they have a death wish, go ahead :devil: :plotting: :evillaugh :schemes: . Doing something like that to Terra is like making Satnak sing. If you're set on it, I'd suggest doing it BEFORE the wedding. You'll see why when I'm done.

SilvercatMoonpaw, your list was most helpful. I guess I didn't even consider what it would be like with Lisa's relatives being of the Thranish Royal Family. I can see Sa'vor and the Half-dragons in a Pulp Fiction type getup. Just classic. See? This is why I asked. I would also like to mention that I was also thinking of having Jaela Daran do the ceremony. Unless someone comes up with a better one, that pretty much clinches it.
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-31-06, 04:33 PM		Everybody post your character info on the wiki!
Rei32491

05-31-06, 04:37 PM		19: Confetti by Chibi-Nalfein

Nalfein: What?

*KAZAP*

Nalfein: (looks up at Entities from Beyond Non-Existance) You guys SUCK!

OOC: I'll be posting the rest of my side story arc after finals (about June 5th and after). I haven't forgotten about it.
urial angel of death

05-31-06, 05:03 PM		-mist machine: Ketler (of course using mi-go tech :evillaugh )
-holy book: Kanatash ( :evillaugh )
-incense: Cthulhu (some of the stuff he gave to al-Hazred :evillaugh )
Kaizer_Ryu

05-31-06, 07:50 PM		OOC: The Wiki for Terra is set up! Took me two hours...and I haven't set up any links yet...but it's mostly done! *smiles weakly and gives a thumbs up* This marks my first time actually editing Wiki, so it may take me a while to get used to it.

-holy book: Kanatash ( :evillaugh )

IC:

Terra: Kanatash, though I appreciate the thought, I really want the guests to remain as sane as they were when they arrived.

Kanatash: But that's no fun at all.

Terra: *skimming the contents* This isn't even a book related to matrimony!

Kanatash: :devil: No. No it isn't. :evillaugh
SilvercatMoonpaw

05-31-06, 07:50 PM		OOC: 22. Old wives’ advice provided my Martha Greyholm (aka Little Old Dwarf Lady).
23. Nothing cute provided by Roosevelt.
24. Honor guard provided by: Silver Flame paladins (Lisa's side), the Squirrel Civilization (Terra's side).
25. Makeup created by Chalky.
26. Fireworks not to be provided by Pholly under ANY circumstances.

Where is it going to be held?
Do they needs bachelor parties? :plotting:

IC: Caralot: Hey, Terra, I've got a lot of books realting to matri—

Silver: No.

Caralot: But isn't matrimony just a prelude to—

Silver: They aren't even religious!

Caralot: In some cultures it's considered re—

Silver: —ally. Creepy.

Caralot: But they're perfect for this form of mat—

Silver: *b*tch slap* Bad mad scientist! Bad!
Kaizer_Ryu

05-31-06, 08:10 PM		Where is it going to be held?
I have an idea, but I want to hear suggestions.

Do they needs bachelor parties? :plotting:
I'll leave that up to you people. I am soooo going to regret saying that... One condition, if you do one, you can't do the other.

Of course, they need to wait until after the current anime arc is done.
urial angel of death

05-31-06, 08:15 PM		Volrath: Wait does this mean we have to give wedding presents?
chibi-Nalfien: I guess so.
Volrath: :rofl: That flower-girl outfit you have is hilarious!
chibi-Nalfien: :embarrass *runs away*
Volrath: Where is that Shoggoth "love" ointment? That would be a perfect wedding present, well provided they survive.
Charles Phipps

05-31-06, 08:18 PM		Jarlot: *reading an adult magazine with elves on the cover* Oooooo yes.

Michael: Well Terras finally going to pop the question. The better evil won.

*cries like a baby*

Jarlot: Oooooooo.

Michael: Where is your hand?

Jarlot: I'm sorry are you assuming I'm going to start paying attention to you?

Michael: I must do something horribly evil to disrupt the wedding only to be killed in some elaborate Disney-villain like fashion.

Jarlot: Or you could congradulate the two for their happiness.

Michael: I'll never know why I lost. I mean I did everything right. I presented her with the hearts torn out of the chests of enemies, I stabbed all the stupid people who tried to talk to her, I burned alive entire villages of Dwarves....

Jarlot: She have something against Dwarves?

Michael: Well no, but I figure that we could make a day of slaughtering them. I remember how we first met.

Jarlot: You're going to rip off 8-bit theatre quotes with Black Mage and White Mage aren't you?

Michael: Well in addition to being a Blackguard, I've also studied necromancy under Andrea.

Jarlot: You have?

Michael: Yes, I needed training in how to please women....sex in pentagrams seems to be a part of what Andrea likes.

Jarlot: You don't seem to get much in the way of monogamy.

Michael: Mono what now?

Jarlot: Okay. Well in any case, you'll bounce back. You're a man's man.

Michael: Yeah.

Alt-Michael: Oooooo isn't this juss LOVELY? I can't wait to redecorate this in frilly lace for the wedding! *waves limp wristedly*

Michael: :blink:

Jarlot: Oh yeah, I invited him to design for the wedding. I feel obligated to to point out that his being a raging queen has nothing to do with his preference in sexuality but merely because he's an interior decorator.

Alt-Michael: I have a vision for this ship....pastels.

*Alt Michael kisses Doog*

Doogl: We may make it two weddings!

Michael: Oh...my...God.

*faints*
Lord Kale Fangblade

05-31-06, 08:19 PM		Sa'vor Paces, Slips Busy in Sharn on an Assassination Job to earn money for their retirement. though that was in the far future they'd decided that it would do to have a large nestegg for after the whole Kithle Empire thing. though Sa'vor had decided he'd probably just give Kithle the armies and let him do as he wants, they ran themselves these days.

*in Sa'vors mind*
Sa'vor: is this what i've been reduced to? from a feared warrior and spell caster to a security gaurd! HA! this was only because there where no real threats to the crew at the moment.

The Dark: doesnt it burn? the fact your quickly becoming ... a Lesser used crew member. the new people dont need you anymore. hell, the only reason you arnt on the lower decks is because no one dares to oust you yet.

Sa'vor: *sigh* still alive are you?

The Dark: *nursing several horrible cuts* yes, the Daemon couldnt kill me for long.

Sa'vor: shame * Draws a Hand Crossbow, and shoots The Dark in the Head* perhaps you'll stay dead this time.

The Paladin: ( a version of Sa'vor wearing all white) well is say! what wasnt polite. i mean the fellow was a dreadful bore and everything but there was no need to kill him outright.

Sa'vor: *turns round* Look, if i want to kill someone i will.

The Paladin: just because your upset about just being a safegaurd for the crew.

Sa'vor: true.

The Dark: *getting up* Oh great. you let this idiot in.

Sa'vor: *anger rising in his voice* if you two begin to bicker again i'll delete your personailties permently. the only reason your still alive is because i need some company.

The Dark: so sad. to be so intimate with someone but all in all, your alone. theres no one like you in the universe. no one whom understands the burden of the knowlege of the future.

The Paladin: but, thats how its ment to be Sa'vor. You have to find the strenght to bear this burden within yourself. its there. i know you can find the strength. she helps doesnt she, she takes away the pain, she takes away the sorrow.

Sa'vor: your both right. but how can you not? your both different perspectives and parts of me. though you are not jaded by the foolish thoughts that i must put upwith. for even if i live forever i am still mortal.

The Dark: we all have our faults.

The Paladin: but it is turning these faults into strenghts that makes you different. you have to overcome your weaknesses. though you shun the path of light you still walk it in a different maner.

Sa'vor: you know... this is probably the cause of my insanity. talking to myself in my own head.

The Paladin: your not insane... your just a Sadistic megalomaniac whom enjoys to wield the powers of the elements in a destructive fury.

The Dark: your unbalanced Sa'vor. and you know it.

Sa'vor: well. *glances around him at the abyss of memories and mental pathways* either way. im still talking to myself.

The Paladin: we are you.

The Dark: yet at the same time we arnt

Sa'vor: *sighs* well. i might as well spend some time on Shavarath. i need a few days of fighting and slaughter to clear my head.

The Paladin: ah yes. the removal of those foulest creatures known as demons.

The Dark: ah, the sweet taste of blood in the air. the aroma of burnt flesh. the slaughter.

Sa'vor: well. lets be off.

Sa'vor opens a gateway and steps through. it closes behind him, leaving only the silence of an empty room.
urial angel of death

05-31-06, 08:35 PM		Volrath: Wow a bachelor party. Yum, I can almost taste the insane acts about to be commited. Two women's last night of freedom, ooooooooo... I will be able to pay a year's worth of service to Ted in just one night. Sweet lover of the daughter* this will be fun.

*for those of you that don't know "lover of the daughter" is a very vile form of curse in the church of Ted. It is only used it the most disturbing of situations.
rampant

05-31-06, 10:34 PM		Levy - Open mic begins now. : Personally I wasn't surprised when Satnak made Breaker Prime. She was a viscious little kid, with no qualms about ripping someone's head off. She was so cute. I always thought she'd train as a berserker though, guess she prefers to keep her head level. I knew you as a girl Satnak, you became a woman behind my back when you faced your sister, but at least I get to see you become a Champion.
Crystalforged

05-31-06, 11:13 PM		OOC: The Wiki for Terra is set up! Took me two hours...and I haven't set up any links yet...but it's mostly done! *smiles weakly and gives a thumbs up* This marks my first time actually editing Wiki, so it may take me a while to get used to it.
OOC: I'm in the same boat as you. I've managed to get a page set up for Kanatash but I really don't understand how to do it any more than the very basics.

I regards to everything else going on I was meaning to post this a few days ago but due to a car accident I was in I seemed to have the crazy temporarily knocked out of me. I'm afraid I don't know much of anything about Shojo anime so this might not fit all that well



IC: In between wedding preparations Terra is marshalling her anime army with Volrath when one of her troops stops mid-stride. His face looks oddly pained as his eyes suddenly bend to face each other as his face caves in. The process continues until his entire body is turned inside out and sucked into a minute black sphere. This sphere then suddenly explodes, showering the entire room in gore. As the dust clears Kanatash is left standing in its wake.

Terra: Was that really necessary?

Kanatash: (shrugs) I like to make an entrance.

Terra: So why are you here then? Come to join my army?

Kanatash: No, actually I planned to recruit YOU.

Terra: Hold you horses there. I'm open to a partner but there isn't room on this ship for TWO evil anime organizations.

Volrath: Besides, you can't be a primary villain. You're not an older attractive female. (swift whack from Death Paper) OUCH! That hurt!

Kanatash: I'm not setting up an evil organization, I'm recruiting both of you to help me get rid of my hippie alternate once and for all. Since both of you were responsible for letting the little SOB out I thought it would be appropriate if both of you help get rid of him.

Volrath: About that, I was wondering Uncle, why haven't you been able to kill him normally since Aerith stopped being a goddess?

Kanatash: The ***** decided I needed to suffer from some divine retribution so she maintained the divine providence around Hippie Kanatash as long as he stays high.

Volrath: But... I always thought you and Aerith got along reasonably well, at least before the kitten incident.

Kanatash: Nah, she always hated me.

Volrath: But then how did the photos come about?

Kanatash: Oh THAT, well lets just say Aerith might not like me but every now and then she lets Brianna have her fun. :devil:

Terra: I still don't see any good reason why I should help you in this. I have lots of other things going on right now.

Kanatash: Because if that :censored: hippie isn't stopped soon he's going to bring down your entire drug empire.

Terra: (sceptical) Why on Eberron would he bring us down? He's a hippie, they're our primary clients!

Kanatash: He's not going to dismantle your empire, he's just going to run it dry. Your lab is now contains the only supply of drugs left on board and that's his next target.

Terra: That's preposterous, there's no way he could get in my lab. I have it warded against everything in existence. Even you couldn't penetrate it.

Kanatash: That's what :coolcthul thought too but he's been cleaned out.

Terra: WHAT! But I just dropped a metric ton of my best stuff off with him this morning for testing!

Kanatash: And it was gone before :coolcthul ever had a chance at it. If my calculations are correct my alternate should be get over his case of the muchies soon and set out looking for some more drugs.

Terra: (taken aback) That shouldn't be possible but then he is YOUR alternate. Fine, what are you going to need?

Kanatash: (evil smile) That’s what I was waiting to hear...

---

Up on deck Hippie Kanatash and :coolcthul are sitting on the deck near John. Hippie Kanatash has now taken the form of blue, bath towel with arms, legs, and large bloodshot eyes. He has also taken to speaking in a high pitched voice.

Hippie Kanatash: You wanna get high?

:coolcthul : NO GAWDAMN IT! WE DON"T WANT TO GET HIGH KANATASH!

Hippie Kanatash: Towlie.

:coolcthul : Fine, Towlie. No, we don't want to get high. That's all we've been doing for the last three weeks. I mean I like getting high but enough is enough.

Towlie: Where, what?

:coolcthul : That's it. I'm leaving.

Towlie: Where are we going?

:coolcthul stands up and stalks off.

Towlie: (calling after him) Don't forget to bring a towel.

Without missing a step :coolcthul , flips him off with several of his tentacles.

Towlie: Well, I'm gonna get a little high.

John: You know right about now I wish I had legs so I could walk off too.

Towlie: That's why Towlie says don't forget to bring a towel.

John: You're REALLY annoying, you know that?

Towlie: Yeah I think so.

John: You know, I'm not even going to try and understand what you ment by that.

Towlie: I've no idea what's going on.

John: :doh: Just shut up.

Towlie: Are we going to get high?

John: (developes an uncontrollable twich that causes the entire ship to shake)

Towlie: Well, I gotta go now. That's my last joint.

John: (begins silently thanking every god of every religeon he can think of and then creates a few new ones to thank as well)

---

Meanwhile in Terra's lab...

Terra: Ok, here it is. (carrying an plant cover with iridescent marijuana leaves) This is a big sacrifice on my part you know. Do you realize how long it took me reproduce my work after :coolcthul ate my first one.

Kanatash: Good, so this is the same stuff the turned :coolcthul into a hippie? Then is should just be strong enough. Just remember, it's this or everything

Volrath: (entering though the door) All right I planted the join outside next to door and locked the door like you said. What I want to know is why put the joint outside and why lock the door if we WANT him to come in and smoke that plant Terra is holding?

Kanatash: You don't understand how his mind works. I do, I've studied him in the wild. Watched him in his natural habitat. Cataloged his behavioral tendencies. I know how he will react and what we have to do. Trust me.

Volrath: If you weren't my uncle I'd say that would be a REAL bad idea.

Kanatash: I'll take that as a compliment. Now we need to be out of sight before he shows up. Terra, if you please?

Terra summons up her shadow powers and conceals the three of them in darkened corner.

---

Moments later Towlie arrives at the door to Terra's lab.

Towlie: (staring at the Keypad next to the door) I'm sure I can remember the code if I get high. (see's the joint as his feet) Ok.

He then proceed to light up and smoke the joint before once again looking at the keypad. He begins pressing button and as he presses them they make semi-musical tones. He continues at this for almost a minute before pausing.

Towlie: That's the tune to funky town. I still don't know the code though. Wait, what code? Oh well.

He floats though the door, seemingly without any resistance despite the numerous wards Terra has placed on it, including making it impenetrable to incorporeal creatures. Once inside he sees in front of him Terra's iridescent plant along with a razor blade and several small pieces of paper.

Towlie: Well, I'm gonna get a little high.

He then proceeds to roll himself a joint and light up. Upon taking the first draw he suddenly seizes up as if suddenly paralyzed. As he hits the floor he mumble something along the lines of, "I'm so high right now." Kanatash, Terra, and Volrath burst from the shadows at the same time.

Volrath: Is he dead?

Terra: (checking pulse) I'm afraid not.

She reaches for a long dagger and moves slit his throat but suddenly the ship lurches violently, tossing her across the room.

Terra: What the :censored: was that!

Kanatash: Divine providence. He's still protected.

Terra: (indignantly) So what was the point of having him smoke that stuff! I thought it would burn out his mind for good!

Kanatash: That stuff will burn through brain cells faster than Kelter goes through plots to seduce Jaela but he's the ultimate hippie. By their definition they don't have enough gray matter left to actually be functional members of society. Even that stuff only has the power to knock him out for a little while. There's no way to truly kill him as he's still a hippie and he's not smart enough to change in any conventional manner. The whole point of this was to immobilize him long enough for me to do THIS. (pulls out a staple gun looking device, puts it to Towlie’s head, and pulls the trigger) There. Ok, we're all done here.

Volrath: That’s IT?! After all this set up that’s all you wanted to do to him?! Put a staple in his head?!

Kanatash: (evil smile) That was no staple. It was a microchip that will cause death metal, the bane of all hippies, to play continually inside his head.

Terra: Cruel, but how does it help us.

Kanatash: I theorize it should have an effect similar to what happened to the demon bound by the silver flame. When continually faced with something that his nature cannot cope with he eventually mutate into something that can cope with it.

---

Several days later. Towlie has been locked in an padded, observation chamber without any drugs. Kanatash, Volrath, and Terra have all checked in on his progress periodically. Through the days his form has slowly transformed changing to become more humanoid. On the third day Volrath is seen rushing to Kanatash's side.

Volrath: (excitedly) Quick, you have to see this! I think he's finally snapped!

Kanatash: (giddy) What are we waiting for? I can't wait to see, just, how he broke.

The two of them arrive at the door of the cell. Terra is off preparing for the wedding

Kanatash: Open the door. Let's see just what has become of him.

Volrath yanks open the cell door and a figure steps forth. It resembles Kanatash except it is dressed entirely in black clothing and has unnaturally pale skin.

Alt Kanatash: Life is nothing but pain and hopelessness.

Kanatash: (puts his hand together, Mr. Burns style) Eeeeexxxxcellent. The transformation is complete.

Volrath: So what, he's a goth now?

Kanatash: Kind of. More precisely he's a stereotypical goth. He's constantly depressed, sees everything as hopeless, hates everthing but mostly himself, and tries to isolate himself from others. Let him out. He’s no danger now to anyone but himself.

Volrath: Wait, since he’s not a hippie anymore doesn’t that mean he’s not protected by divine providence anymore?

Kanatash: In a word, yes.

Volrath: So why don’t you just kill him.

Kanatash: Because letting him live is SO much crueler.

Volrath: I know that, but I’m not sure that even he deserves this.

Kanatash: Meh, since when have we given people what they deserve. Come on. We have some festivities to prepare for.
Charles Phipps

05-31-06, 11:54 PM		Captain Jarlot: Alright, I'm going to be apparently performing the ceremony here.

Admiral Jarlot: Hold up son. I need to do this.

Captain Jarlot: Didn't the Doctor I recommended to you help deal with you?

Admiral Jarlot: Kervorkians a great guy! We played golf together and talked about the underclasses along with why they sucked.

Captain Jarlot: I don't think they want a wedding performed by you.

Admiral Jarlot: Why not?

Captain Jarlot: First of all it's a wedding between two women.

Admiral Jarlot: Thus spaketh Dol Dorn that women loving women is pleasing to his eyes if unto hot be they

Captain Jarlot: Oh sweet....you memorized the Book of Dol Dorn?

Admiral Jarlot: As a Reverend of the one true god of alcohol, firearms, and tobacco. I proudly work my God's will.

Captain Jarlot: I hate the fact I'm rapidly becoming your straight man.

Admiral Jarlot: In any case, I can understand these new fangled female ideas if it means free food at the wedding.

Andrea: Jarlot, is this a day wedding? Our vampire guests are curious.

Admiral Jarlot: In the Kitchen NOW woman. Make me a sandwich.

Andrea: FIREBALL!

*Admiral Jarlot is singed horribly with third degree burns in many places*

Admiral Jarlot: See? This is the result of you not keeping them sexually satisfied. It's a Captain's duty to keep the trollops on the ship properly pleased, otherwise of course they turn to each other.

Captain Jarlot: I keep my women plenty well satisfied.

Tifa: I still urge to have your baby despite my merging. Let us make hot mad love.

Admiral Jarlot: WELLLLLLLLLL?

Captain Jarlot: It IS possible for a man to not want to have sex with a woman while being perfectly heterosexual.

Admiral Jarlot: Dol Dorn spakes that sex has no face and it is glorious in all places.

Captain Jarlot: Oh great....

Aerith: It's okay. I'll join in.

Captain Jarlot: That's very sweet of you Aerith.

Aerith: Not really. Brianna loves sex with Tifa too. You're just an added bonus.

Captain Jarlot: I'm glad I sunk all my excess skill points in Book of Erotic Fantasy feats.

Aerith: I still say "Sexual Cohort: Solar Deva" is a broken game mechanic.

Admiral Jarlot: Put the spurs to her son. Reminds me of your mother, she was a beautiful Centaur lass....

Aerith and Tifa: :blink:

Captain Jarlot: And we're GONE....

Emo Kanatash: I like cutting myself.

Admiral Jarlot: By God son, finally a REAL man!

Emo Kanatash: You know there's nothing beyond death but oblivion and all life is a cruel joke man?

Admiral Jarlot: Then how would we have ressurection spells?

Emo Kanatash: :blink:

Admiral Jarlot: Here! Read this!

Emo Kanatash: ....Jack Chick cartoons?

Admiral Jarlot: Yes, they'll improve your lifestyle tremendously!

Emo Kanatash: *reads them* *brain brakes*

Admiral Jarlot: Feel any different?

Flamite Kanatash: Yes, I think there's been a little too much SINNING going on around on this ship!

Admiral Jarlot: That's the spirit. Use it to be biased, bigoted, and cruel in the name of a loving faith. Off you go son.

Flamite Kanatash: GGRRRRRRRRRR

*Jarlot in his boxers*

Captain jarlot: They're getting warmed up. I just stepped out to say you're going to pay for that and he'll be dead before this plot is over. Possibly at my hands.

Admiral Jarlot: Ah, like all Boomers he had a Soccer Dad in him somewhere. Now where's the buffet so I can yak in it and smoke?
Kaizer_Ryu

06-01-06, 01:45 AM		OOC: Crystalforged, it does seem to fit in ok. Terra, though having some minor issues, is fighting off the worst aspects of the shojo genre. She has also largely beaten them out of Volrath, so they're pretty much back where they started. She's playing the part of villainess in the hopes that it will lead to getting everything back to normal that much faster.

On a side note, I was looking back through the thread in regards to Lisa's parents. The only thing I could find is she is of the Thranish Royal Family (which doesn't narrow it down much), and there were unconfirmed rumors of her being High Cardinal Krozen's daughter (wouldn't THAT be interesting :devil: ). Am I missing something? Or should I just pull names out of the air and make them official sounding?

IC:

Terra has managed to capture Lisa and is currently trying to figure out a way to snap her out of the shojo mode she's in.

Lisa: :weep: Oh, woe is me! Michael will never love me because Sakura is so much prettier! WAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! :weep:

Volrath: Can't you just smack her like you did me?

Terra: Though it might be the most expedient route, no. I'm not hitting my fiancee.

Volrath: Why not?! It didn't seem to bother you when you hit me! :mad:

Terra: You like that kind of thing and you know it. P/Y/R makes no effort to hide what she does with you, just to bother me. I get ambient images when she's around.

Volrath: :eek: :blush: :ghosted:

Lisa: :weep: I can only hope for a prominant secondary role. It is only fair to Sakura, as she is the center of the universe! :weep:

Terra: Still, I need to find a way to get through to her... :lightbulb

Lisa: How shall I eve-mmmph!

Terra has grabbed Lisa and initiated a majorly awesome french kiss. For a moment, Lisa is a bit startled, but seems ok with it. Eventually, she returns the kiss.

Terra: *breaking off* There. Better?

Lisa: *shakes her head to clear it* Whoa. I feel like I've just woken up from a bit part in one of those B-movies Captain Jarlot makes us watch... *the events of the last few days sink in* What was that all about?

Terra: Unfortunately, it's not over yet. I still have my part to play, and I don't think you want to be involved with what I have to do. Though I do think Satnak's graduation ceremony is still going on. You may have time to get in on open mike session.

OOC: I hope to get to that later. This idea was just too much fun to envision.
rampant

06-01-06, 01:50 AM		Rixle - OHHHHH **** SHE'S GONNA KILL US!!!

Telfon - Not if we die in the crash.

Rixle - What crash?

Telfon - This one.

SKRAKRASH

Rixle - What happened?

Telfon - I was trying to speed things along and stole the space between us and the FF.

Rixle - Which you didn't mention beforehand, huh?

Levy - Both of you get into your dress robes.

Rixle and Telfon dash to their bags and get changed.

Levy - The ceremony starts in 15 minutes.
-------------------------

Satnak - Well this is getting dull.

Sakura - You would think something would happen by now.

Satnak - I tell ya its criminal the lack of appreciation.

Sakura - How many Liquid keel haulings have you had tonight?
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-01-06, 07:43 AM		Silver grabs the mic.

Silver: Per special request: Something happening!

Four really high CR monsters appear out of portals and then sing in a barbershop quartet about how they're going to kill everyone.

Crow: Never ask for something to happen around us.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-01-06, 07:58 AM		Another portal opens, and from it hundreds of demons begin to pour. they're all running as fast as their demonic legs will carry them. and creaming things like
" Tactical retreat!", " Women and children first", "W'ere all gonna Die!" and " Run away! runaway!".
A blast of crackeling magical energy vaporises a group of demons as they leave the portal. another figure steps out. his usualy black armour dripping in blood. his eyes burn with the joy of slaughter. black flames cover his very form.
Sa'vor: Didnt miss anything did i? *portal Closes. See's high CR monsters* hmmm... i deal with them later. *flexes gauntleted hand* Im going demon hunting. * turns incopreal and drops through the floor*
Phantomcrossing

06-01-06, 08:42 AM		Norbaz, in a white caterers outfit, stands before the spread for the reception, and gets ready to wheel out the gargantuan cake.

Norbaz: All right then, I do believe this is some of my best work. Haven't done a spread like this in a while. Now for a few finishing touches on the layout and it'll be perfect. Hey, where'd the champaign fountain go?

In Captain Jarlot's room.

Jarlot: Sweet, a champaign fountain, this'll help me forget about Tifa in this situation and focus on Aerith.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-01-06, 09:19 AM		Erk is carting a new champaign fountain up to the party. He makes use of the lesser-useds' corridors to avoid any thefts this time. However, when he reaches the area that must be right under the stage he spots Satnak setting up what must be a very complex array of some kind. Erk's god life provides him just enough knowledge to deduce that it is a deific-energy projector, designed to pump up a being;s power, but which would therefore render them brainless. It's aimed at the ceiling above. Yet this isn't the Satnak of this world: this one has obviously never had a deicide arm, nor is she tattooed.

Also, she's scantly clad.

Alt-Satnak (talking to herself): Soon, I will be the only Satnak left, and I will be ALL POWERFULL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Erk (i.h.): *Wow, Igor would be proud of her. Better not try anything: if she's that dumb her power level's probably broken the ceiling.* :looloo:

Alt-Satnak turns around.

Alt-Satnak: Oh, it's just you, Erk. Leave me alone. Satnak is very busy.

Erk (i.h.): (anime sweat drop) *Luckily she thinks I'm still a dumb minotaur. Just got to back away slowly……don't think too loud in case she has—*

Alt-Satnak's ears twitch once.

Erk (i.h.): :help:

A blast of something familiar slams into him. He crashes through two walls before coming to rest in what must be Caralot's room. Alt-Satnak stides over to stand above him, mondo-villain styles.

Erk: Deific power……*wheeze, cough*……That must mean you're…And why Satnak is got so powerful so fast…

Alt-Satnak looks him over hungrily.

Alt-Satnak: Hmmm, I don't think I'll kill you. :drool: I have a much better idea.
JakeQuistis

06-01-06, 09:27 AM		"OBJECTION! The Satnak we know now cannot be the original Satnak brought here! My proof.. This recording!" Allen shouts, pointing dramatically at the air, his voice carrying all throughout the room.
He then plays the recording.
"I think they're done actualy but we still have the hardest part ahead since we still need to find somebody to weild it. (Sa'avor)
Yes that is a problem. He needs to be perfectly sane, willing, an exemplar of the mortal spirit, and have lost their left arm fighting for someone they love. Thats a tough bill to fit... By the deraged lords, I just had a brilliant thought. (telekinetically grabs two redshirts) You, go find Kithle and tell him I have found someone to wield his superweapon. You, go tell Kelter to come here and bring his helm of Absolute Opposition with him. (Kanatash)" The recording says.
"From this evidence, and the fact that the original Satnak brought here was turning into a raging mindless destructive machine, there is only one solution.. Somewhere along the line, our Satnak was switched with this one from another dimension!" Allen shouts, dramatic music now being played.
Chrys

06-01-06, 10:38 AM		Beryl useing her ablity to see through the eyes of Red Shirts is Really ******!

Beryl: How dare that Solor B*tch Bring my old body back to Life! Chibi-Balor Put both of them on top of my arch-enemy list.

Chibi-Balor Yes mistress


ooc: Do I have plans for Neo-Tifa :evillaugh, but that will have to wait until after the Kidnapping plot... that will be after the shopping and drain a Rahja plot

Edit. I for got Beryl's Famly tree


Family Tree:
Mom & Dad [unnamed and unstated, I.e. Not Important]
1. Beryl + Eckio the Nymph [Minions: Chibi-Balor and Chibi-Marilith]
P/Y/R + Volrath
None… Yet [and even then not for a long time]
Pets: Pooke and Snookums [ Chibi-Noelithid and
Wyrmling Chole Dragon]
1?. Neo-Tifa + Jarlot + Aerith
God I hope not
2. Assia [Obsessed with Lisa]
3. Unnamed Artificer/ high binder daughter [obsessed with Elementals]
4. Unnamed and unstated daughter
5. Unnamed Dread Necro Blood of Vol worshiper daughter
6. Unnamed and unstated daughter
7. Unnamed and unstated daughter
8 & 9. Myra & Tyla [twins Obsessed with Assia and the silver Flame]
10. Acanthi [Obsessed with Beryl… and now P/Y/R … and may be Jaela… lets face it she may be a female verson of Ketler :weep: ]
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-01-06, 11:45 AM		two demons are talking to Liam. whos giving them an interview on the subject of Sa'vor.

Liam: so, whens the first time you met Mr.D'vol?

Demon 1: well, it was two days ago. he just appeared in the centre of our horde and well... the blood bath began.

Demon 2: yeah. i mean, we demons we're normally sadistic maniacs. but this guy. dear lord, some of the ways he killed so many of us will give me nightmares for all time. Like this one time, he grabbed our friend bob...

Demon 1: poor poor stupid bob.

Demon 2: and he ripped out his skull and used it to beat him to death.

Liam: he used bobs own skull to kill bob? that doesnt seem physicaly possible

Demon 2: i know, thats what bob was screaming the whole time... well... intil his head caved.

Demon 1: it was a blood bath. we didnt stand a chance. the whole time, even as blood was spraying in his face he was just laughing or smiling evily. he didnt even use his magic much. he just used his bare hands or even that accursed mindblade.

Liam: i see.... so, your saying he was slightly unbalanced at that time?

Demon 1: unbalanced? that mans psycotic. he's part demon and he kills his own kind!

Demon 2: yeah, but he's also part dragon, and a vampire, and an elf. and probably a few more templates added on to that.

Liam: thank you gentlemen. i've gathered enough notes now.

The demons leave the room, they here a slight creak from the floorboards.
the turn to see nothing. they turn back around to see Sa'vor standing there.

Sa'vor: boo

The Demons scream and run. Sa'vor laughs and watches.

Sa'vor: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 , 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 .. 1 ... 0

an explosion sounds from further down the ship. Sa'vor goes off to hunt more demons.
urial angel of death

06-01-06, 12:02 PM		Volrath walks up to Terra
Volrath: It'll never work between you and Lisa.
Terra: What are you talking about? It has been working for a while.
Volrath: She still doesn't even know where the flowers come from. She is unaware of the depths of evil and deprevity you are willing to sink to. She hasn't met the real you.
Terra: Yes she has. I've told her everything about me and she has excepted everything.
Volrath: Lots of people can except things they've heard, all buttered up. Very few however could ever stand to actually see things like what you've done. You are too different, just like Aerith and :coolcthul .
Terra: She is a Deva and he's a horrible creature from beyond the stars
Volrath: But he was nice and wouldn't hurt anyone. He's a monster on the outside. You are one within.
rampant

06-01-06, 12:26 PM		Satnak - I feel Loved again. :cloud9: Although Precisely how was I not a mindless destructive machine there for a bit?

KIthle gets up to the mic.

Kithle - You still owe me for smashing up my arm graft!!!
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-01-06, 12:49 PM		Satnak - I feel Loved again. :cloud9:
OOC: :blink: How? :twitch:

IC: 13 gets up to the mic.

13: I hate to say this, but I have to be honest: Satnak is one of the least terrifying people I have ever met. Yeah, sure, she'll blow you up. But where's the subtlety?

Satnak disintegrates him with a stare. Yet when the mic falls down next to the pile of ash it speaks.

13: Love me, babe. :inlove:

Silver (leaning over to Satnak): I think it's developed a crush on you.
rampant

06-01-06, 01:35 PM		Satnak - I'm not ino masochists.

Lisa - Yeah you have a thing for berzerkers.

Satnak - Oh hi, Terra get you bent back into shape?

Lisa - :embarrass for now.

5 minutes left on open mic, get your hard hats people.

---------------------
OOC : Satnak thrives on violence and mayhem, so this kinda of chaos is what she enjoys, she just wanted it centered on her party this time.
urial angel of death

06-01-06, 01:45 PM		Volrath stumbles up to the mic. He has a dazed expression on his face. Everyone groans.
Volrath: *hic* Satnak has attempted to destroy more BBEGs and story arcs than I care to mention. Not to say that is a bad *hic* thing. We owe quite a lot to her. Most of the situations Sa'vor probably would have got us out of, but Satnak did so with far *hic* higher casualties on the enemy side. Without her *hic* we would have had far less carnage and chaos. Thank you for everything Satnak. *passes out*
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-01-06, 01:50 PM		The ash pile that was once 13 sidles up to Silver.

13: Psst!

Silver: I'm not helping you out on this.

13: No, that's not why I said it!

Silver: Well then why did you?

13: I want to join you.

Crow: Define "join".

13: Become an entity of non-existance.

Silver and Crow: :OMG!

13: No, seriously, I was considering it way back when I was filled with the screams of the tormented.

Crow: But you don't have that now.

13: And because of that I have no reason to exist. It was the only thing holding me together. This me only exists in a quasi-state because I still have a few things left to express before I go. I figure non-existance is better than any afterlife that I might have to go through.

Silver and Crow: OHYEAH!

13: So, that act was my job application. Do I have what it takes?

Crow: You deliberately ****** off Satnak……:thumbsup:

Silver: You expressed love that was obviously insane……:thumbsup:

13: :w00t:
Crystalforged

06-01-06, 02:45 PM		Kanatash approaches the mic next. Most of the Redshirts and some of the scum in the audience begin to murmer and shift nervously.

redshirt 1: (whispering) You think he's going to try and drive us all crazy?

redshirt 2: (from a pedastal of experience having been on the ship a whole week longer than redshirt 1) Probably not. He doesn't want to tick of Satnack by ruining the ceremony like that. Of course that just means he won't do it on purpose, he might still do it by accident.

Kanatsh: (speaking above the whispers) As I'm sure most of you know I had a major role in the bringing of Satnak to this ship. I was one of the primary contributers to Kithle's project to construct the deicide arm and in fact it is highly unlikely that the project could have moved forward without one such as I who is capable of comprehending all the prefect madness of Xoriat. In fact much of this crew would be lost without my-

He is cut of suddenly by a sharp slap to his shins. He looks down to see Death Paper at his feet.

Terra: (calling out from the back of the room) MONOLOUGING!

Kanatash: Hmm, that anime **** must be affecting me more than I thought. Now I digress, let me return to the subject of Satnak. It was my use of Kelter's Helm of Absolute Opposition that origionally brought Satnak into this world - No Death Paper, that won't be neccessary, I have it under control now - Now I know there is a certain amount of controversy that has cropped up about whether the Satnak we are here to honor today is the original created from the helm or not. Personally I don't know for certain, but I had always assumed the helm acted to transport from her universe to ours rather than actually create her from scratch or perhaps the helm somehow brought her universe into being at the same time she was created. I don't know and don't care. However I must question how well the helm functioned in the first place considering the penchant Satnak has shown towards violence and mayhem so similar to that wreaked by yours truely. I suppose at this point I have rambled long enough so let me leave you with this final thought, that I want you to think long and hard over: Calico Orangutan Nattier Goalies Racked Aberrant Telletubies Uuduvan Lollipops Apple Teacup Integer Oak Nationcide Seprioth. Thank you.
rampant

06-01-06, 03:10 PM		Levy - That was beautiful sniff...:weep: .

Satnak - Uh huh :rolleye2:

Lisa - uuuuh... :confused:
Phantomcrossing

06-01-06, 04:14 PM		Norbaz: Alright, food set up, gotta grab the mic before its off.

Deftly the half giant assassin cooky pulls off his caterers outfit to reveal a stately tuxedo beneath. Slowly he approaches the mic and begins an operatic ballad in Giant.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-01-06, 05:04 PM		Silver: :confused: Are you doing that?

Crow: No. :raincloud

13: I haven't even learned how to reform myself.

OOC: I created the whole Alt--Satnak thing because I think this party should end with a bang, and a fight between two Satnak's seems like a lot of fun. :devil: Plus every super-powerful warrior should have to fight their equal.
Crystalforged

06-01-06, 05:16 PM		OOC: Sounds like fun to me too. :devil: I wasn't trying to throw a wrench in your plans if that's what you thought, there's no reason why there still can't be an alt-Satnak on board.



IC: Kanatash: Oh yes, by the way I have a little gift for you as well, Satnak. (hands her a small box) Don't worry, I swear by the deranged lords that I didn't actively try to make it drive you insane. I can't promise that I didn't do something accidentally however.



OOC: I assume we'll be opening the graduation presents later so I won't say what's in the box yet. :schemes:
rampant

06-01-06, 06:00 PM		OOC : wasn't complaining, Satnak just doesn't like reality and logic getting in her way. She loves it when it works for her, but otherwise she tends to blithely ignore it. :D I'm gonna hold off the ceremony untill I see where Norbaz is going.
----------------------

Levy - Nice kid.

Satnak - Eh, yeah a little loopy, but then nobody interesting was ever sane.

Kanatash - I resent being referred to as a kid.

Levy - Expose the core of a planet with a kick, and we'll talk.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-01-06, 06:46 PM		Sa'vor, after cleaning himself up a bit appraoches Satnak with a box.

Sa'vor: well, bieng one of the people whom helped gather the ingredients for the deicide arm which ultimatly led to you being brought here.. i'd just like to congratulate you. you've truly exceeded any amount of chaos and destruction i could of wrought in a life time. also. i'd like to thank you, for all you've helped us through. without your help i'd most probably be dead, we'd all be dead. and now i present you with this gift. *hands her the box*

Satnak opens it, within is a perfect sapphire, about the size of her fist. it glows gently.

Sa'vor: *smiles* its an artifact i've been making. i havnt given it a name yet, though i was hopeing you would name it yourself. as long as its in your possession it will enhance all your atributes to three times their current levels. as well as expanding your abilties it can be used as a conduit for your powers. theres no need to worry about anyone stealing it either, its keyed to you alone. and if it is stolen from you, speak the command word and it'll return to your hands. oh, and the command word can be reset by you, though the current one is the elven word for soul.

Sa'vor turns and vanishes into the shadows once more...
Phantomcrossing

06-01-06, 07:12 PM		Norbaz: I'd like to start out by saying, marriage is a beautiful thing. There is nothing better than when two people who love each other come together. *clears throat* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOH DAAARUUUUUUUUUUUU CON MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUREEY CLAVU SO MAAAA TIIIIIIROOOOOONEEEEE

The half giant begins belting out an opera.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-01-06, 08:44 PM		Volrath: She still doesn't even know where the flowers come from. She is unaware of the depths of evil and deprevity you are willing to sink to. She hasn't met the real you.
Say's who?

Volrath: But he was nice and wouldn't hurt anyone. He's a monster on the outside. You are one within.
Have I told you how she proposed yet? No. And don't think I've told you everything Terra has shown her...

Yeah. So there. :P I'll get to that later.
urial angel of death

06-01-06, 09:20 PM		OOC: Fine you win, it is your character after all. Besides Volrath doesn't know any of what you said. I presented it as to what he knows. Nothing Terra said even considered him being right.

On a completely unrelated note. I think that Jarlot Sr. would make an exellent holy man. If he isn't able to make it we can alway call on Tyriel.

A cookie to anyone who knows who Tyriel is and why he would be so very out of place here. ;)
Phantomcrossing

06-01-06, 10:29 PM		OOC: Heh, it'd be funny to see them get married under Martian Law.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-01-06, 10:46 PM		OOC: Fine you win, it is your character after all. Besides Volrath doesn't know any of what you said. I presented it as to what he knows. Nothing Terra said even considered him being right.
OOC: I never said he wasn't right about her being a monster on the inside. What I said was that Lisa knows what she really is, has seen it for herself, and accepts it as part of who Terra is. I've made it clear previously in the thread that Terra doesn't enjoy hurting those she has no reason to. She also doesn't use her alignment as an excuse when she does go over the top. A few examples:

1.) The flowers: she has used those as a test for her minions. If they don't have the sense to question the kindness of someone who is part of a drug ring or resides on board a ship filled with "murderous psychopaths", then they have no chance of surviving in any other situation. I'll explain Lisa's reaction to finding out their origin at another time.

2.) The Coliseum: This is a rather violent means of control, but used only in the most serious of offenses. Any show of mercy and the place devolves into anarchy. She makes sure all her people understand what is expected of them. They are also aware of what will happen if they do not obey. Evil and cruel? You bet. Needlessly so? Not really.

And, no, they are not getting married under Martian Law.
urial angel of death

06-02-06, 07:13 AM		OOC: Then I guess we must call apon Tyriel in our time of need :angel:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-02-06, 07:16 AM		OOC: Then I guess we must call apon Tyriel in our time of need :angel:
OOC: I still think Jaela is better. Though I don't know who this Tyriel person is.
Chrys

06-02-06, 08:28 AM		With a Poof Beryl appears and takes the Mic away from the half giant.

Beryl : Ok I'm just covering bases, I've never really had a problem with Satnak and I don't think she has a problem with me... in fact I think I've only really delt with her is a girls only poker games. And lest she pays up unlike some overly good person I shall not name...

Aerith : I'd pay up if you did want me to pay you in the souls of inoccent!

Beryl : Bah! Any speaking of overly good poeple, I think you have an Alt of Tifa to kill Satnak.

Satnak I tried when she showed up but the captain said I could not kill her as long as he is getting to use his Rod of Lordy Might! :rolleyes:

Beryl : Well I have get back before Chibi-Balor is killed by that damn Pally and her flunkies

Poof out.
urial angel of death

06-02-06, 08:29 AM		Tyriel is an archangel from Diablo 2. I wasn't seriously suggesting him. It would just be ironic, because he is deticated to fighting evil. So if he were preforming the wedding he would be ignoring his primary calling. After all there is so much evil on this ship he would be tied up for months.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-02-06, 09:57 AM		Terra and Lisa walk up to the mic.

Terra: Right, I figured I needed to say a few words. I'd like to start by saying THIS IS ALL SAKURA'S FA-mmmph!

Lisa has clamped her hand over Terra's mouth and taken the mic.

Lisa: Sorry about that. What she meant to say is that both of us greatly appreciate what Satnak has done, having saved both our lives more than once. We are very happy for her achievement, and hope to continue working with her in the future.

Terra has calmed down, Lisa returns the mic.

Terra: I'm really tired of that... Ok, like she said, congratulations to Satnak. Despite a rocky start, I am eternally grateful you're not my enemy.

*they raise their glasses*

Terra: Now, on to my long and tedious speech about how I'm so much prettier and more powerful than Sakura. Firs-mmmph!

Lisa has recovered Terra's mouth.

Lisa: Right, we'll be going now.

Drags her off stage.
Rei32491

06-02-06, 10:48 AM		Nalfein nervously walks up to the mic.

Nalfein: *ahem* (slightly whiny)...Satnak's mean to me! She hits me all the time!

Random Redshirt 1: YOU SUCK!

Nalfein: *glare of doom* FIREBALL OF VENGEANCE!

*MASSIVE FOCUSED EXPLOSION CENTERED ON NOW EX-REDSHIRT*

Random Redshirt 2: (looking at smoldering ashes) There goes a stupid, stupid man...
Chrys

06-02-06, 11:45 AM		Acanthi: Every one stops fighting NOW! We are all a family…

Chibi-Balor (is currently in Full Balor form using a table as a makeshift tower shield): I’m not… I’m just A Cleric of Beryl; Mistress I could use your Help?

Poof Beryl comes back from the party

Beryl: Stop Now! I have had enough…Damn I forgot to congratulate Terra and Lisa on there pending wedding.

P/Y/R: Ohh Can we throw them a party? I want to see Volrath jump out of a cake!

Beryl: Only if we hurry up with this little trip.

Assia: Lisa? Lisa Hopeforge… Red head Paladin of the Silver Flame?

Beryl: Yep, now I have to…

Assia: Tifa, please tell me where she is, I haven’t seen her since we shared that room in paladin training camp.

Beryl: Beryl now, she on the Air ship Forgotten Freedom.

Assia: Beryl why did you change your name to that… the Forgotten Freedom, but that a wretched Hive of villain and scum. Quickly To the MY ship the Hope Forge we must rescue the beloved princess

Myra & Tyla: Woo Quest Time!

Assia, Myra & Tyla rush out the house and off to ‘save’ the day.

Beryl: Well that got rid of them… I’d love to see what Terra face when they ‘save’ he though. Any way I’ll have to put off officially dropping from the house… and have to get going now…

Acanthi: Where we going? And why did you change your name to Beryl… I like Beryl better but why?

P/Y/R: You forgot about her didn’t you?

Beryl: yes… I changed my name because I changed my self. I am now Beryl Demonic Baroness of Red shirt, Alcohol and the Chaos that is the Forgotten Freedom in general! Any way we are going in to the depths of khyber to we can find a prision if one of the Rajah and drain it of its power!

Acanthi: Why?

P/Y/R: Because…

Acanthi: Ok, I’ll go get my stuff.

Chibi-Balor: You can’t really want her to come with.

Beryl: Yes, I can’t have her roaming around by her self… plus she may be so some use she has some sort of weird powers.
rampant

06-02-06, 02:24 PM		Levy - Ok guys time for the main event, Have the waiters finished passing out hardhats?

SC Commander - (from under a hardhat) Squeak

Levy - Satnak put the crystal in pile with the other gifts.

Satnak - Damn.

Levy - Rixle, Telfon!

Que the dramatic tension building music.

Rixle, and Telfon materialize at opposite ends of the deck and approach Satnak. Their formal robes are great fantastic affairs done all in black and white. Telfon is wearing battle-gauntlets, and holding something in his hands, but its covered.
When they reach Satnak, she stands.
The music cuts off suddenly, deathpaper slipped out from under his hard hat and smacked Devon.

Telfon - I hold the mark of the Breaker Prime, Who can bear it with wrath, pride, and clarity?

Rixle - (pointing at Satnak) This one has battled dieties, primevals, and defeated even the great serpent in battle.

Telfon - What of Pride and clarity?

Rixle - She has never onced been ashamed of her nature, never once betrayed a friend, never once backed down from any fight.

Telfon - What of clarity?

Rixle - She has stood the test of self.

Telfon - Then Bear the Mark of the Destroyer, and let all tremble before your might.

Telfon raises his left hand and launches an open palm strike straight down on Satnak's brow. The shock to reality is felt the world over.
----------------
Krozan - What did those lunatics do now?

Boranel - No one invited me to the party :weep:
----------------

Rixle and Telfon withdraw, Satnak's fore head now bears a shattered planet Tatoo.

Levy - Well Satnak, its go time :cool:

Satnak - Lets Rock :cool:

Lisa - Whats going on?

Rixle - (grabbing hard hat) its sort of a tradition valedictorian vs their primary teacher's opposite. Satnak Trained breaker, so she fights the berzerker queen. One round, first blood.
urial angel of death

06-02-06, 03:05 PM		Volrath is just waking up.
Volrath: Wow what was in that stuff?
His head clears up, to the point where he can hear again.
Rixle: ...to the first blood
Volrath: Yes the blood of either one would help greatly. :schemes:
Muridin runs over and smashes Volrath on the head full force with his hammer. Volrath head caves. Blood splatters everywhere. The blood rushes back together atop Volrath's neck. It reforms into his head.
Volrath: What did you do that for?
Muridin: Terra say no plotting.
Volrath: but-
Muridin: No!
Volrath: :bigeyes:
Muridin: No. :noway:
Volrath: :weep:
rampant

06-02-06, 03:29 PM		Satnak - Clear the deck.

Everyone gets to a possibly survivable distance.

No time is wasted as soon as the stragglers are out of the way bamamboomfoomblamsmackcrash.

The two are compltely immersed in the fight extremitites blurring to invisibility.

Levy - HHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR

Satnak - Bloody Mol she's gonna kill me. :eek:

Satnak manges to get out of the way before the punch lands but gets tripped up by a kick.

Satnak - Ooof I'm gonna feel that in the morning. Here comes the axe kick. *blink out*

Levy - I hate that shirt.

Satnak - *Blinks in above Levy.* Hah

Levy - Nice try. *flip*

Satnak - *blink out*

Levy - Huh?

A hand rises up from below deck and grabs Levy through the floor.

Levy - I really hate that shirt.

Satnak launches a swift barrage of Kicks and claw attacks.

Levy - :eek: (i.h.h. She's melded claws to draw blood with a single strike. Smart.)

Levy sets a shield up.
Satnak smashes it without even slowing down.

Levy - (i.h.h. mental facepalm, breaker prime you idiot)

Satnak - *feignts and lunges* got ya Levy

Levy - good job now about some oxygen

Satnak is holding levy up by the neck.

Satnak - just a sec, *backhand*

The real Levy jumps back to avoid Satnak's attack.

Levy - I see your not gonna fall for that old trick.

Satnak - Well you did.

Satnak Vanishes as an acidic claw strikes through the wall at levy.

Levy - Did I mention I hate that shirt. Screw this HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Satnak - Run awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy !!!!

-----------------------

Terra - Ok I felt that something bad just happened.

Telfon - Yes.

Terra - Levy just entered her rage didn't she.

Rixle - Yep

Terra - Theres nothing to do, but start praying is there.

Lisa - Way ahead of you.

------------------------

Satnak - Bloody mol mol mol mol mol mol!!! Run away!

Levy - Lets get a little altitude.

Levy rises to the sky and sends down a tempest of psionic attacks upon Satnak, and most of the surrounding countryside.

Satnak - *****HIT*****HIT*****HIT *blink out*

Levy - I really hate that bloody shir- oof
Satnak blinks in below Levy and kicks her stomach.

Satnak - Your getting slow.

Levy releases a barrage of tangling ectoplasm.

Satnak - I'm stuck,... well crap.

Levy ducks in close and launches a crystal storm.

Satnak Manifests ORB HAMMER

The crystals are hurled back upon the stunned LEvy, between surprise and the eefects of the orb hammer She doesn't have time to dodge completely.

Several shards slice accros her skin and trail thin red lines.
----------------
Rixle - WTF!?

Telfon - Thats a new trick.

Micheal - She used us as gineau pigs!
----------------

Satnak - You gonna let me down now?

Levy - Nah

LEvy floats back to the FF still holding Satnak upside down in the ectoplasm that managed to survive the orb hammer.
Crystalforged

06-02-06, 03:36 PM		OOC: Excuse me, plot hijacking in progress. Much appologies, this won't take too long. Horrible vengance may be inflicted later at your leisure. :P



IC: Just at Levy touches down with Satnak the entire ship suddenly rumbles ominously. The lights flicker overhead for a moment before taking on a reddish hue. The music fades in and out, being replaced by the laughter of children calling out for some one to play with them. The gathered crowd begins to glance around nervously as phantasmal horrors appear in their peripheral vision but disappear when they try to get a closer look. When inanimate objects are scrutinized carefully they seem to twitch slightly.

Jarlot: What the **** is going on!

Satnak: I don't know but when I find who's responsible for this I'm going to turn them into paste! How dare they do this during my party!

Levy: It feels like somebody is messing with the fabric of reality somehow.

Jarlot and Satnak glance at each other for a moment before responding together in a dry voice, "Kanatash."

Satnak: He should know better than to do this **** during my party. I'm going to knock his incorporeal *** back to Xoriat and beyond.

Satnak breaks free of the last of the ectoplasm and stalks off the deck. The majority of those in attendance come out of hidding to follow her as well, not wanting to miss this beatdown.

---

After a few minutes of searching Satnak seems to pick up the trail and heads into the bowels of the ship with most of the crew behind her. As she walks the odd effects that began at the party grow stronger, the lights swing back in forth in an nonexistant breeze, and the quiet crying of children is almost deafening. A hum of power fills the air and seems to take on a life of its own. Finally Satnak stops in front of a seemingly normal wall, which is actually abnormal at the moment considering most of the ship seems to have twisted itself like a corkscrew and spins in circles while this one wall remains unchanged. Satnak reaches out and with primal growl rips the wall asunder, revealing the extradimensional space hidden behind it. The instant before she does this the ship shudders once more and everything returns to normal as if nothing had happened. Satnak glances at this change for a moment before plunging into the dimensional pocket. As the crew file through behind her a bizarre sight reveals itself to them, a massive ring of black fire, at least 50ft in diameter ungulates in the center of the room. The inside of this ring is filled with reddish smoke and give of the strong scent of brimstone and something more, something that seems familiar to every person pleasant although none of them can put their finger on it. Behind this smoke images can just barely be perceived, images of pastoral scenes of rolling hills. Floating in the center of the ring is, unsurprisingly, Kanatash.

Satnak: KANATASH! (grabbing him with telekinetic force to pull him down to her level) You screwed with my party and now you're going to pay for it, and pay for it dearly.

Kanatash: I apologize for disrupting you celebration, however I had little choice in the matter. You just happened to have the poor luck of graduating on the same day as the planar conjunction I had been waiting for and I was certainly not waiting 5000 years for the next one. (breaking free of the telekinetic force) Now excuse me, I need to finish what I came here to do.

Kanatash glances out among the gathered crowd before suddenly spotting the person he had been looking for, Caralot. He floats over and stops right in front of here.

Kantash: My dear, I have long prepared for this day. Behind me you see a portal I have created from Kelter’s portal to the non-existent plane of reality he calls “earth.” It stretches-

Kelter: (cutting in suddenly) Wait a second, you stole my portal! Now where am I supposed to get my erotic pictures from?!

Kanatash: If you’re that desperate you can borrow a few photo albums from Caralot and I.

Kelter: …nevermind. Shutting up now.

Kanatash: Excellent. Now as I was saying, this portal leads to a world filled with cute and cuddly creatures that posses a wide variety of supernatural powers. I have already brought forth one creature as an example. (reveals a small, yellow mouse-like creature)

Creature: Pika Pika.

Kelter: Dear. Sweet. Jaela. You didn’t.

Kanatash: (smiling) I did. (pushing the creature forward) Now go “play” with the nice artificer.

Kelter: Ooooh, ****ydoo.

The creature launches a blast of electricity at Kelter before leaping upon him. Ripping and tearing noises sound across the room with Kelter’s screams as Kanatash turns back to Caralot.

Kelter: NOT MY LEG! NOT MY LEG!!!

Kanatash: I give this portal to you as a gift to express my love and I but one thing which I want to ask of you.

He drops to one knee and pulls out a heavy gold ring with red letters in an odd dialect of elvish that flicker like flame.

Kanatash: Caralot, will you marry me?

Caralot: Kani-poo, I-

She is cut off as two figures flash into existence next to them. One is a towering figure in black armor wielding a huge mace, the other is a diminutive and degenerate creature with pasty skin and huge, staring eyes.

Small figure: (with a hacking cough) Gholem, Gholem, the precious! It has the precious!

The towering figure moves to strike Kanatash down and the small figure tries to grapple him as well. However Kanatash glances between them.

Kanatash: You, I have no use for. (disintegrates the smaller figure in midstride) You, I’ll have my fun with later. (paralyzes the taller figure and teleports him from the room) Now where were we?

Caralot: (embracing Kanatash) Oh, Sweetums, yes, yes I will.

A shudder runs down the spine of the gathered masses. Throughout all of this however Satnak stands off to one corner, seemingly forgotten, seething with rage. One can practically taste the gathering power as she prepares for a zorching of proportions never before seen on this ship or anywhere else. Before she can strike however she is interrupted by a voice off to her side.

Levy: It’s so romantic isn’t it?

Satnak glances over at Levy for a moment before she lets out a long exasperated sigh and releases the gathered power.
rampant

06-02-06, 04:09 PM		Ketler is running down the halls, screaming.

Ketler - get it off of me!

Fluffy - MeOW (giant mouse :D )

Fluffy leaps at the yellow rat.

rat - PiKA! ( thunder bolt )

Fluffy - MEEORRLLL (Flame thrower)

Rat - KACHUUUUUUUUUU (Thunder)

Miss

Fluffy - MEOOOOOW ( Tri-attack )

Critical hit

wild rat fainted

FLuffy - Meow (I'm so great :D )

-----------------

Satnak - One red baseball cap and you die horrible deaths. Clear?

Kanatash - Understood.

Levy - Huh?

Ketler - Insider joke, she reads as much of this stuff as I do.

Levy - Well Back to the party its time for cake, and opening gifts.

Crew - !!! Cake?!!! Whoosh

Rixle - We're screwed

Telfon - Yeeeaaaa... maybe not

Midshipbold 1 - We got you covered.

Midshipbold 2 - No way she wont like it.

Midshipbold 3 - In exchange you have dig chalky and the others out of the wreck in the port hull.

Rixle - Groan, and give me back my boots Telfon. I swear your obsessed.

-------------------
Satnak - Le'see the gem is from Sa'vor, there's the box from Kanatash, It better be good after that stunt ghost boy, an envelope from Rixle, Telfon, and the others who went on that little pirate adventure. Plus this stack of stuff thats all conviently placed so i Can't see the tags yet. OOH Cake.
urial angel of death

06-02-06, 04:09 PM		Volrath: Oh how sweet.
Kithle: Doesn't it seem like a lot of people are getting tied htiched.
Volrath: Only four.
Kithle: I guess
Volrath: This also means we get to have a mythos wedding. All of my training as grand acolyte of the Crawling Chaos and my travels as a cleric of Ted have finally paid off. :evillaugh
Kithle: You're a cleric?
Volrath: I don't recieve spells, but I'm still qualified to lead the faithful in worship.
Kithle: Knowing Ted that doesn't really involve much. Does it?
Volrath: No, mostly just showing some of his finest works. Although my dad's cult does have some pretty complicated rituals.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-02-06, 04:17 PM		Naz'roth wasnt at the party. he, bieng a powerful extraplanar entity felt extremly uncomftable when even in the same room as Satnak. being around someone whom was designed to slay his kind did that to someone. Naz'roth prefered to be in the Darker sections of the ship, Hunting down some of the nastier stowaways. Tara had gone to the party, she had said that at least one of them should turn up. Naz'roth smiled. she had an evil mind that one, sometimes she surpassed even his darkest thoughts.

Naz'roth had felt somthing at the edge of his mind recently, as well as small pulses of magical energy being unleashed every so often. he stalked silently through the corridors, like a wraith he made no noise, it was closer now. a horrible aura of "good" filled the air. he could taste the compassion and feeling. it was all he could do not to retch, he could stand normal compassion, but this... only celestials made such a large aura of it. he'd have to be careful.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-02-06, 04:30 PM		OOC: It could have been worse. I did suggest Hello Kitty :devil: .
IC: Levy and Satnak just stand there on deck for a long time, gazing at each other. There is a clichéd whispering breeze in the air, halted finally by Death Paper rubbing his pages together to create a counter-flow.

Levy bows to acknolwedge the defeat.

Satnak: :w00t:

She walks back up to the mic, ludicrously happy. There's a tiny bit of sweat on her brow, but she flicks it off and it gleams in the sun.

Satnak: I’d actually like to thank all you—

The world becomes completely still.

Satnak: KANTASH!

Kantash: It’s not me.

Silver, Crow, and 13: :mymy: This is not good.

Satnak: WT—

A beam of pure power erupts from the deck under Satnak’s feet, enveloping her. Nothing is seen until an explosion of the deck send her body skywards to land on the gift table with a crash. Satnak is severely burned, so much so that most of her tattoos are not visible and she appears unconcious.

A figure jumps up from the hole: Satnak, but scantly clad and with no blemishes on her sky. She also radiates a visible aura of power.

Alt-Satnak (looking over at Satnak): I have to say I’m disappointed. I would have thought the power spreading throughout the multiverse would have made you a better fight. (she blinks over and picks up Satnak by the head)

Satnak breaks out of her ruse. Her arm forms again into the Arm of Broken Dreams, and she jabs it into Alt-Satnak.

Satnak: NOBODY RUINS MY PARTY!

Nothing happens. The arm starts to smoke, then falls off, leaving Satnak’s living arm intact.

Alt-Satnak: :devil: Foolish mortal. (she throws Satnak hard against the deck, then stomps on her neck) That beam gave you an…infusion of……deific power. Your own arm………(her brows screws up in concentration)

Silver, Crow, and 13 engage in a flurry of whispering.

Satnak (trying to gasp past the foot on her throat): I’ve just made *gasp* Breaker Prime! (grasps Alt-Satnak’s foot and begins to lift) And…I…will…not…be…the…one…broken!

Satnak tosses Alt-Satank off, but Alt-Satnak lands far up on the deck without any effort.

Alt-Satnak: And here I thought this wasn’t going to be a fun fight. BRING IT!

Satnak gets up to charge. But time slows around her until it is still. The only thing still able to move is Crow.

Satnak gives them a “You’re ruining my fun!” glare.

Crow: Wait, you’ll thank me for this.……Or at least not kill me as fast.

Satnak: How are you doing this?

Crow: You’re in a situation where the actions you’ve chosen will kill you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Satnak: I don’t have time for your “I don’t think you’re capable of this because I think I know better” sh*t.

Crow: Fine. Your choices are: you can die from being destroyed or die from the overload your brain receives when you destroy Alt-Satnak and the power she’s been accumulating by destroying all of the yous throughout the multiverse pours into you thus giving you basically unlimited power but by the laws of power proportionality reducing your self-awareness and other nice mental traits to below minimum existence standards.

Satnak: :confused:…Say that in language my kind of people can understand.

Crow: She’s been killing Alt-Satnaks. Every time she does this the power spreads out among all the rest that exist. So if you kill her all that power flows into you. And as far as I know the more powerful a being is the stupider they are……and to anticipate your question, I don’t know why that is.

Satnak looks back over at Alt-Satnak, still frozen in the moment.

Satnak: *snort* I can take her.

Crow: I’m just urging you to use what you have and she doesn’t: your brains.

Satnak: (sarcastic) Well thank you —, (normal voice) but—

But just then time springs back into place, and Satnak only narrowly deflects Alt-Satank’s blast.

OOC: I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really don’t want to step on anyone’s creative toes here. I just thought it would be neat to have Satnak fight herself, since that’s the only worthy opponent I could think of. Besides, I want to see what kinds of smarts she’s got to have.
rampant

06-02-06, 04:34 PM		OOC : You Blinked guys first blood means first blood. You reverse a crytal swarm on someone and blood is usually drawn.
Crystalforged

06-02-06, 04:44 PM		OOC: It could have been worse. I did suggest Hello Kitty :devil: .
And get back to Satnak kicking Levy's butt. I've still got my Alt-Satnak thing to do. ;)
OOC: Oh, I still have plans for Hello Kitty, and believe me they are much, much worse than this. :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-02-06, 05:47 PM		OOC: Oh, I still have plans for Hello Kitty, and believe me they are much, much worse than this. :devil:
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
OOC: This is probably why our two characters get along so well together. You make me :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:tiphat: :pint:
Chrys

06-02-06, 05:59 PM		Someplace in the Forest of contrived plot devices [form the forest of death… that changed the name when it was found out that not one has ever died there]

P/Y/R: So why do you think it’s called Forest of contrived plot devices…

OoChrys [the voice of the author of this post.]: because the forest was nameless and it’s where I’m having you guys find for way down in to the Depths of Khyber.

P/Y/R: oh? Where would that be?

OoChrys: Oh it over by that pile of rocks right next to lightning bolted tree.

P/Y/R: Thanks… see I told you it would work.

Beryl: Good Now lets get going, I want to get this done with soon.

Chibi-Balor: How does that even work? What about the Fourth Wall? And why is my Mistress now in such a rush.

OoChrys: Well I want to hurry this part of the story line along to I’m helping you out… instead of write a post on how you spent day a fruitless searching only to stumble a group of gatekeepers whom you some how manage to con in to telling you where the entrance is. Second the 4th wall was broken a long time a go. Beryl is in a rush because she wants to go back to the ship and deal with Neo Tifa… who turns out to be one of the chaotic good outsiders. And Lastly I’ll have Hordes of the Abyss in a few day, so if you don’t stop asking questions I’ll replace you Flaming Red *ss.

[OOC: :embarrass the OoChrys Parts are really a response to questions that poeple who were reading over my should [I hate that as much as Kantash hates hippies] when I was typing kept asking; I'll think I'll finsh up this plot tomarrow :embarrass
Charles Phipps

06-02-06, 06:20 PM		Terra: Okay, almost ready for the wedding!

Ismael Jr: *through gag* Mmmmmph mmmm mmmmph.

Lisa: Terra, what are you doing?

Terra: Oh, I kidnapped Sakura's boyfriend and am holding him hostage so I can curse him to fall in love with ME!

Lisa: Terra, you don't even like boys.

Terra: No but I like Sakura even less. I'm really not looking forward to the part where I merge with some horrible outer demon thingy and have to be destroyed.

Lisa: Don't worry, its the American Dubbed version. You only get blasted into another dimension.

Sakura: COSMIC! MOON PRISM! FLUFFY BUNNY! ULTRA! SNUGGLE! LOVE! HEALING!

Terra: Oh no! It's the ultimate attack!

*Sakura gently taps Terra on the head while there's a lot of cherry blossoms and flashing lights that make people who see it go into seizures*

Terra: GAH!

Sakura: Now You've been restored to being my mom!

Terra: WHAT!?

Aerith: Oh, I switched our roles in the storyline with a diversion spell. I was originally supposed to be the bad guy.

Sakura: Ooops!

Terra: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Lisa: There's something I need to tell you about Terra.

Terra: You all. Out.

*they reluctantly comply*

Lisa: I never told you about my family.

Terra: You mentioned they were royalty.

Lisa: My mother is the Queen.

Terra: *choke* *blink*

Lisa: When the kingdom was overthrown by the Church, the King was killed for his continued faith in the Sovereign Host though the Church denies this. My mother I've only met a few times but she insisted I was her heir despite the fact I don't believe in monarchies....

Terra: So you're the Crown Princess?

Lisa: No, because I know who my real father is. The Queen made an escape from the palace to bargain her freedom, Cardinal Kronzen....approached her and made her an offer.

*she pauses*

Lisa: I was a product of that union.

Terra: Oh dear.

Lisa: Kronzen didn't want it to be known he'd violated his oaths of chastity though so he had me shuffled away to the nunnery to be raised a swordswoman. He visited me several times and....

*she shuddered at some memory*

Terra: I see and...

Lisa: No, its.....well its traditional family is invited so I sent them invitations.

Terra: Oh you POOR POOR Lawful Stupid....

*she stared in horror*
JakeQuistis

06-02-06, 06:30 PM		Allen discretely adds two packages to the large pile. One says "Open today," the other says "Open Dol-Dormas." He then bumps into Liam.
"Ah, you're the vampire on board, correct? Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?" Liam inquired of the undead one, pulling out a sheet of paper and a pen to write down the answers.
"Certainly, I wouldn't mind it at all." Allen replies.
"Do you have any kind of relationship with Andrea, or any other member of this crew?" Liam asks.
"No, besides Ketler being my rival. Although I'm thinking about getting out of this Artificer thing, and going for something else, so I can get more screen time. These days, being a centuries old vampire who can make weapons of mass destruction just isn't enough. I'm thinking about going into publicity, and work on getting this ship declared it's own country." Allen replies.
"Interesting... What initially brought you to this ship?"
"Hm.... It was the best place to hide out at and get the various ingredients I needed for my inventions."
"I heard you left for the new continent once. Why did you leave, and what was it like?"
"Ah, it was like all this anime stuff floating around now. All of the girls were almost impossibly good-looking, there were giant swords, ninjas, and ancient ruins that had only existed for a few days. I left because of all of the chaos and havoc here. I also felt underappreciated somewhat, because whenever someone needed something, they would always go to Ketler instead of me. But then somehow I ended up back here."
"Thank you very much. It's been a pleasure conversing with you."
"Me too. Me too."
And thusly the interview ended, with Allen going off to get some food before all of it was eaten.
rampant

06-02-06, 08:21 PM		Satnak - Jeeze your worse than illis kid.

Alt -S - Huh?

Satnak - *breaker linear* (note they aren't calling attacks I just like naming things)
The soulmelds on Satnak's back luaches hundreds of writhing wires that slip through and around the mental shields of the Alt

Alt_S - Gah!! *port* Jeeze that looked like something out of a perv's comic stash. Glad I'm not wearing a uniform.

Satnak - That was a wire attack your one with her brain in ketler's gutter.

Alt_S - Die. *double dios column*
A massive pillar of energy desdends from each hand.

Satnak - (ihh: Power at the pricee of brains huh? hehehe Traveller Your gonna be so proud of me. :schemes: )
Satnak back and rebounds at Alt_S, Blinking out at the last second seh rematerializes behind Alt_S and Begins grappling.

Levy - Now you know why I hate that shirt.

A viscious brawl ensues, Satnak seems to have an edge in close combat. Possibly due to the spiked armor.

Satnak - Hey guess what ***** you've been disrmed.

Alt_S - Huh? I use my fiiiiiiiiiiii(ripcrunch)eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiii iiiiiiiiiiists
You rutting **** ***** my arm.
MY arrrrrm :schemes:
*port*
----------------

Satnak rushes back to the gifts and grabs the gem sa'vor made.

Satnak - This is either gonna work really well or we're gonna be cleaning pices of satnak outta the hull for weeks... wait thats gonna happen either way. Terra where is your latest batch of full concentration booster. I need a vial of the earlier versions as well.

Terra - The early stuff will smash you, and the new stuff isn't that much safer.

Satnak - Now please, explain later.

Terra - Here the blue cap is the new ver.

Satnak - Keep the hard hats on.

-----------------

Satnak - Ok This crystal is supposed to triple my output, the potions are trait amplifiers but will mess me a bit after they run their course. So .(Alt_S ports in). gah

Alt_S - Not so fast I got your arm now *****.
Alt_S has attached the arm of broken Dreams to her bloody shoulder.

Satnak - Who cares I got ... these?!?

Alt_S - Apperently I'm faster.

Satnak - Aww Bloody Mol.

Alt_S Consumes both potions and activates the crystal.

Alt_S - I AM ALL POWERFUL.

Satnak - Goodbye.

Alt_S - WhaaH?

Satnak - *disruption claw*
Satnaks Meld claws crackle with disruptive energy, she plunges her hands into Alt_S's Aura and tears holes in her energy flow.

Alt_S - WhaaaaT?

Satnak - You just got broke *****. With such a massive and sudden out put increase you have to carefully control your energy flows or it will consuume you. Toss in the fact that the 2nd potion and the arm further disrupt your mental control structures, and my own use of a breaker technique on your flow patterns. You have about 3 seconds of existance left. Bye *blinks out*

Alt_S - REALLY BIG MOTHER FSCKING BOOM
Kaizer_Ryu

06-02-06, 09:30 PM		OOC: Nice work on Satnak's part. And Terra's back to normal! I did like the ending. Very cliche (no matter how much Terra hates that kind of thing).

I am going to have so much fun with Cardinal Krozen :schemes: :evillaugh . Just to say, he's coming whether he likes it or not :devil: .

IC:

Terra: We are so not letting you do the service.

Volrath: Awwww...why not?

Terra: Because I know what happens when you read to people from your books.

Volrath: *pouts*

Terra: There is something I thought I should tell you though.

Volrath: By the tone of your voice, I'm not going to like it...

Terra: That is a possibility. We have agreed to have the wedding under the auspices of the Church of the Silver Flame.

Volrath: :blink: :eek: :shocked: :ghosted: *falls flat on his face*

Terra: Wow. He took it better than I expected.

(several hours later)

Volrath: *wakes up slowly* Ugh...what hit me?

Terra: Oh, good. You're awake.

Volrath: I could've sworn you told me you were being married under the Silver Flame...

Terra: I did.

Volrath: :88E: :coolcthul :pumpkin: :behold:

(after several more tries, about 3 days later)

Volrath: Ok, ok. I think I'm ok now. So you are telling me...

Terra: Uh-huh...

Volrath: ...that you two...

Terra: Yeah...

Volrath: ...are getting married within the Church of the Silver Flame.

Terra: Exactly.

Volrath: :twitch:

OOC: I want to do his complete response, so don't post the continuation. THIS MEANS YOU URIAL! :D It will also explain how/why they're doing it this way.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-02-06, 10:23 PM		OOC: :shocked:
Increasing the being's power to destroy them. That never crossed my mind. ( :shifty: *yoink!* )
:bow:
Satnak's certainly smarter than she appears all the time. So now I know that I can make her do very smart things as well. ;)
This is the only bit that's confusing:
Satnak - You just got broke *****. With such a massive and sudden out put increase you have to carefully control your energy flows or it will consuume you. Toss in the fact that the 2nd potion and the arm further disrupt your mental control structures, and my own use of a breaker technique on your flow patterns. You have about 3 seconds of existance left. Bye *blinks out*
But I don't have a problem with it. I seriously hope you enjoyed the set-up. :D
rampant

06-02-06, 11:39 PM		OOC: THanks for the Setup, what parts confusing you I'll clear it up.
-----------------------

Satnak - Mol I'm stiff.

Levy - You look like hell froze and warmed over.

Satnak - I'm gonna just lie here for a few years.

Levy - Oh no your getting to your bed whether you like it or not.
Lift

Satnak - Owowowowowowowowow! Thats were you kicked me watch it. OWow your doing it on purpose now.

Levy - :D

Satnak - So tired....asleep in her arms...i love you Levy...zzz
----------------------

Levy - Terra, Lisa talk now.
Charles Phipps

06-03-06, 12:22 AM		Admiral Jarlot: So we're having a wedding for a bunch of flamers?

Captain Jarlot: Just let it go Dad.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-03-06, 12:32 AM		Levy - Terra, Lisa talk now.
Terra & Lisa: :eek:

Terra: Crap. She finally says something, then falls asleep.

Lisa: Oh, my this is akward.

Levy: Still waiting...

Terra: Well, uh...it's just like she said. Satnak's...in love with you.

Levy: :mymy:

Lisa: She's been trying to work up the nerve to tell you since before you got here. She even came to us for help in trying to figure out how to tell you.

OOC: Ok, rampant, your turn. I have no idea how Levy would or should respond to this.
rampant

06-03-06, 12:43 AM		Levy - Dammit girl. First Forbes and now Satnak. Is there a right way to deal with this. Gods I love em both to death, but I don't know if I'm even capable of the kind of love they both have for me. What happened to my friends dammit. :weep:

Lisa - :confused: what do we do?

Terra - I don't know that there's all that much we ca... :eek: they grew up!

Lisa - Huh?

Levy - Whhat?

Terra - Your friends grew up, they started becoming adults. You may be right about your childhood stunting your emotional growth.
Crystalforged

06-03-06, 12:50 AM		Kanatash: Oh, dear. It seems Satnak is out of it. I suppose she'll have to wait now till to tomorow now to open my present. (turn to Caralot) Oh well, I suppose that means you and I have some time on our hands. Why don't we go explore that new portal I created for you.

Caralot: Maybe we can "explore" a few other things while we're at it. (raunchy smile)

Kanatash: Do you think of nothing else woman? (chuckling) Ah well, I suppose that's one more thing I love about you. Let's go.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-03-06, 02:14 AM		OOC: This is the continuation of Volrath and Terra's conversation. This one is more serious. I came up with this while trying to reconcile why a LG Paladin and a NE Drug Lord getting married could ever work. I happen to think it's one of my better ideas. I just hope it translated well into print...

IC:

Volrath: :twitch: *hyperventilating slightly* Ok, so...are you going to clue me in as to WHY?!

Terra: Yeah. But you need to calm down first.

Volrath: :twitch: *trying to fake it and failing miserably* I CALM! I'M TOTALLY CALM! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE CALM IN ALL MY LIFE!

Terra: *sets her hands on his shoulders* Ok...breathe...in...out...

Volrath: *deep breaths* Ok...ok...calm thoughts...there's a good reason...keep breathing...

Terra: Ok. As you know, I'm not really devoted to any one diety. So the choice was between a secular wedding, a Druidic wedding, or a Silver Flame wedding. We opted to combine the last two.

Volrath: Really? How does that work? Would the SF even allow it?

Terra: You bet they will. We have the Keeper of the Flame, the esteemed daughter of the Captain, presiding.

Volrath: But you hate her...

Terra: That was the anime thing. Now that it's over with, I have nothing against her.

Volrath: Oh. But won't the rest of the Church object? What about Lisa's family?

Terra: That's not much of an issue. They wouldn't dare move against us or the pontiff. If they do, they'll have a major PR nightmare to deal with in regards to Jaela/Sakura and a major pillaging nightmare as far as we're concerned.

Volrath: That...is true. Still, you know how I feel about the Silver Flame...

Terra: You have yet to learn to distinguish between the Silver Flame as a belief and the Silver Flame as a church. The teachings themselves are wonderful. What happened to your family would never have been seen as good or righteous if those people were true to the spirit of their faith.

Volrath: But you're associating with the same type of people...

Terra: You have seen what Lisa is like now. That is what a true member of the Church of the Silver Flame should act like. Jaela/Sakura looks up to her as a role model. They are devoted to their faith and not to the dogma of corrupt religious leaders.

Volrath: *a deep sadness crosses his face* I...I don't know if I'll ever be able to see them like that completely. How can I ever forgive what the inquisitors did?

Terra: Forgiving them is not a requirement. What they did in no way deserves forgiveness. But you also can't continue to blame others just because of what they believe. Most SF worshippers were and still are ignorant of the true horrors that have been perpetrated in the name of their faith. All they hear is the glossed over version from the clergy that twist it into a righteous deed. Even most of the clergy have been fed a load of bull.

Volrath: How do you know that for certain?

Terra: You should know the answer to that question.

Volrath: Then why haven't you done anything?!

Terra: What could I do? I have no proof that people will accept. This is a matter of propaganda. The deceit goes deep and is beyond my power to expose. Who would believe me even if I had solid, irrefutable proof? One word from the higher ups and I'm discredited. That is why people such as Lisa are so important. She has been blasphemed so often, the typical SF worshipper sees her as a demon. What happens when they see her continuing to wield the power of a Paladin of the Silver Flame?

Volrath: Nothing. Like you said, she's discredited.

Terra: Not entirely. I have no connection to the SF. She gains her powers directly from it's blessing. How could one so defamed by the clergy, deemed so evil by the Church leadership, still receive the Flame's blessing? This little discrepancy has the potential to change everything. Change will not happen quickly, but it starts one question at a time.

Volrath: So you're using her?

Terra: Not in the least. She is aware of this as well. Lisa is a Paladin sworn to uphold the teachings of the Silver Flame, not the clergy. When I described why I do what I do with the underground, it gave her an idea for how to effect change for the better in her faith.

Volrath: *thinks for a moment* If she were to try and remove the corruption by force, it would solve nothing, and probably even exacerbate the problem. :thinks: :lightbulb So it was her idea to go for a more long term solution?

Terra: She amazed even me. Such a ripple will probably not effect much in her lifetime, but it will eventually become a wave. In time, the Silver Flame may return to the path Tira Mirron intended.

Volrath: The most obvious solution is not really a solution...the best one leaves many to suffer in the meantime, but can institute genuine reform... It would take a great deal of wisdom and conviction to follow such a difficult path. I didn't think it was even possible for humans to think in such terms.

Terra: Two of the many reasons I love, admire, and respect her.

Volrath: You support her because you believe in her... She remains with a corrupted faith because she hopes to heal it...

He pauses in thought for a while, then smiles a bit.

Volrath: I can live with that...

OOC: Ok. I hope that didn't mess with your character development too much, Urial. :bigeyes: This doesn't mean he no longer hates worshippers of the Silver Flame, just that he can accept Lisa's and Terra's association with it.
rampant

06-03-06, 04:20 AM		Rixle - I hope Krozan puts up a fight.

Telfon - Why?

Rixle - :fight!: :pint: I want to pillage something.

Telfon - And you say I'm obsessed. :rolleyes:

Rixle - Give me back my boots dammit.

Telfon - Krozan... Isn't that crazy old gardener from the east greenhouse named Krozan?

Rixle - I think I may have an Idea. :D

Telfon - No bad half-drow, I do the thinking, ever since the incident with Fluffy and the popcorn, but I like where this is going. :D
-------------------------

Satnak - Oi i hate sick leave :mad:
-------------------------

Kithle - I see no reason to let a few broken bones stop this party. That and I fear Levy, Anyone Satnak has to out manuever is bad news.

SC Commander - Squeak Chirrup

Kithle - The sooner she opens the gifts the sooner you can take off the Waiter outfits.

Pack Master Starts piling the gifts on a sled.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-03-06, 09:32 AM		Kanatash: Do you think of nothing else woman?
OOC: Crazy scientist who worships a random god of change and blood and who's obsessed with creating the weirdest cross-breeds imaginable? What else would she think about? :confused: ( ;) )

Silver: And here I thought I was the one who thought about :pile: :w00t: :cloud9: constantly.

Crow: We're too powerful. They have to be creative because they don't have the power to just create the situaitons that they want. Why do you think i take notes all the time?

Silver: *sigh* I guess you're right. Anyway, I'm going to go through that portal and see what kind of havoc I can wreak.
Chrys

06-03-06, 10:38 AM		Back on the Ship, Chibi-Marilith is bossing some of the read shirts around… when a portal up and Beryl, P/Y/R, Acanthi… and Chibi-Balor loaded down with a crap load of shopping bags.

Chibi-Marilith: Mistress! Did every thing go according to plan?

Beryl: Yes…

P/Y/R [grabbing a couple boxes from Chibi-Balor]: Hey I’m going to give Volrath his gift now. Hey Acanthi want a tour of the ship until we get Volrath’s room.

Acanthi: Ok sure.

* * *

P/Y/R enters Volrath’s room to see him with Terra.

Volrath: P/Y/R I’m glad you back…What are you looking for?

P/Y/R: I was hoping you would still be bishie… Hi Terra.

Terra: Hello P/Y/R

P/Y/R: Congratulation, can I be a brides maid? Look it dear I brought you a gift.

He opens it to find a tentacled worm like best.

P/y/R: It’s a Neo-Lith… Mind flayer thingy.

Volrath: I know but why is it chibi?

P/Y/R: So I could fit it in the box. Oh you don’t have to worry it can’t go crazy or anything I used a new spell I came up with after I killed that ****r-thing.

Terra: Wait you killed a Daelkyr.

P/Y/R: Yeah We had to break in to one of their prisons to get down in to Khyber, so mommy could drain the power from cat lady. Any way it thank us for freeing it and then it wanted to play with me, So I told him I all ready had a playmate and showed it my sensory stone… you know the one with me in Lisa’s form in the maid outfit and feather duster made out of angel feathers, after that he kinda broke… fell down twitching and foaming at the mouth, then I picked up a stick and poked him to death. Speaking of that do you know what I can do with it body?

[I’ll leave Terra’s reaction to that for some one else]

* * *

Chibi-Marilith: So did you drain the Rajah.

Beryl: Yep.

Chibi-Marilith: So are you going to tell me what happened?

Beryl: Nope.

Chibi-Marilith: Why?

OoChrys: because I have through of a way to put it in to words yet.

Chibi-Balor: Wait! How come I get a death threat when I ask questions… and I thought you said the last time was going to be a one time thing.

OoChrys: Because I like Mariliths a crap load better then Balors, and you can just shut up about the other!
Kaizer_Ryu

06-03-06, 11:28 AM		P/Y/R: Yeah We had to break in to one of their prisons to get down in to Khyber, so mommy could drain the power from cat lady. Any way it thank us for freeing it and then it wanted to play with me, So I told him I all ready had a playmate and showed it my sensory stone… you know the one with me in Lisa’s form in the maid outfit and feather duster made out of angel feathers, after that he kinda broke… fell down twitching and foaming at the mouth, then I picked up a stick and poked him to death. Speaking of that do you know what I can do with it body?

[I’ll leave Terra’s reaction to that for some one else]
If this means what I think it means... :yuck:

IC:

Terra: You really like disturbing me with these images, don't you?

P/Y/R: :D It's all in good fun.

Terra: *sigh* Still, I see she was successful in draining the Rajah.

Volrath: You knew? And you didn't try to stop her?

Terra: If she was a genuine threat, I would have. But Rajah's and the like really arent that much of a danger to me anymore.

P/Y/R: :confused: Uh...why?

Terra: :P I'm not telling you.

OOC: Just to say, if Terra and Beryl ever come to blows, Beryl will find it highly unpleasant. :evillaugh
urial angel of death

06-03-06, 11:31 AM		#?) None of of will attempt to kill everyone attending Lisa and Terra's wedding
#?+1) becuase several of them wouldn't die, including Terra.
#?+2) no matter how powerful we are or how many minions we have Terra would kill us
#?+3) these deaths would be painful, very painful
#?+4) even if Sakura became much more badass and started guarding one of us, we would still die
#?+5) Terra would be prepared for any situation
#?+6) yes, very ironic music would play in the background as she killed us

Terra: P/Y/R you realize that this dealkyr was probably related to Volrath, right?
P/Y/R: I didn't :weep:
Volrath: It's okay,cupcake, I never really like cousin Hurley anyway. (turning to Terra) To get the reform you want, you and Lisa will have to decieve the worshippers of the Silver Flame too.
Terra: Why do you say that?
Volrath: Even heratics can caster spell and weild power of any god in Eberron. All they have to do is chant the magic words that the church teaches, and believe you are doing the god's will. Our gods aren't nearly as active in the lives of their worshippers as other cosmos' gods are. Most people don't know this they think the god themself gives the spell, not ones belief in it.
Also you will never succeed in reforming the church in Lisa's life time, if the cardinals live. She will start it, but will be branded a heratic. If she is successful she will fill the hearts of those who will replace the cardinals with faith. This faith will then come to the church when they take over. No true reform will come unless the cardinals die. You can start a peaceful reform. I'll start a more drastic one. :schemes:
OOC: Have no idea what Terra's reaction would be someone fill in the gap.
P/Y/R: :waits:
Volrath: Oh yes, Terra, could you please leave the room. Unless of course you would like to join in on the "welcome home". :D
Terra quickly gets up and leaves the room.
OOC: If anyone notices something that is mispelled of typed badly, please forgive me. My computer is having this wierd bug. if you try to type between two letters the second one will be covered up by the next letter you type. This means I can't edit.
Chrys

06-03-06, 11:46 AM		I
OOC: Just to say, if Terra and Beryl ever come to blows, Beryl will find it highly unpleasant. :evillaugh

OOC: Nah Beryl considers Terra an allie at least, and knows better better then to pick a fight with any of the ubers [other then the Celstials]... That reminds me start on the kidnapping plot.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-03-06, 12:21 PM		Volrath: It's okay,cupcake, I never really like cousin Hurley anyway. (turning to Terra) To get the reform you want, you and Lisa will have to decieve the worshippers of the Silver Flame too.
Terra: Why do you say that?
Volrath: Even heratics can caster spell and weild power of any god in Eberron. All they have to do is chant the magic words that the church teaches, and believe you are doing the god's will. Our gods aren't nearly as active in the lives of their worshippers as other cosmos' gods are. Most people don't know this they think the god themself gives the spell, not ones belief in it.
Also you will never succeed in reforming the church in Lisa's life time, if the cardinals live. She will start it, but will be branded a heratic. If she is successful she will fill the hearts of those who will replace the cardinals with faith. This faith will then come to the church when they take over. No true reform will come unless the cardinals die. You can start a peaceful reform. I'll start a more drastic one. :schemes:
OOC: Have no idea what Terra's reaction would be someone fill in the gap.
Terra: I realize it will not be easy. I never said change would come quickly. And I never said this was the extent of what we were going to do. Killing the cardinals would not solve anything. Did you learn nothing from the incident with 13? Simplistic, drastic solutions lead to tragic results. If you're serious about stopping others from becoming victims like your family, you should realize what effect a drastic/violent "solution" would have. More purges, further concentration of power in the hands of a few corrupt bastards, and a great deal of fear and panic. How exactly does this accomplish your goal?

Volrath: But I'm removing those who block reform!

Terra: I know how these things work. Remove the head of the beast, and it grows a new one. Often times, it is worse than the old one. If you kill the cardinals, you will throw the Church into chaos. From it will emerge leaders even more hardline and corrupt than before, simply because that is what it would take to survive leadership. You will have solved nothing, and even made things that much harder to really fix.
urial angel of death

06-03-06, 12:29 PM		OOC: Terra sure is optimistic. Them again so was Martin Luther. He was branded a heratic. The reform he wanted didn't come until several years later. Even after the reform though, him and those who helped him at the begining were still called heratics.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-03-06, 12:45 PM		OOC: Terra sure is optimistic. Them again so was Martin Luther. He was branded a heratic. The reform he wanted didn't come until several years later. Even after the reform though, him and those who helped him at the begining were still called heratics.
This is one of the things I'm hoping to show. As you have seen, Terra has been teaching Lisa throughout their relationship. What hasn't really been shown until now is what Lisa has been teaching her. Terra brought a more cynical attitude, shaped by experience. Lisa brought a more idealistic one, shaped by faith. What Terra loves about Lisa the most is that she was able to take Terra's experience and knowledge and turn it into a force for good. Each brings their own side to the problem, and each has been listening to the other. That is why they work together so well.
Crystalforged

06-03-06, 01:13 PM		Satnak stumbles onto the deck as the sun just crests the horizon.

Satnak: Bloody mol, I've got the hangover from hell.

Kanatash: Ah good, I see you're awake. I suppose you're going to open your presents now.

Satnak: For the moment, just your's. I need to know whether or not it's good enough to convince me NOT to kick your *** for that stunt you pulled last night.

Satnak rips open the box to reveal a simple piece of ragged cloth with a ring attatched to it. On the cloth the words are written, "pull ring. Do not use indoors."

Satnak: (sceptically) This had better be good. (pulls the ring)

The piece of cloth turns midnight black and springs from Satnak's hands. It lands upon the deck and expands to form a massive sheet of blackness. From this blackness rises a dragon. A dragon covered in fine, highly reflective scale and surrounded by a shroud of shimmering light. A dragon dwarfing Mr. T is size. A dragon with three heads.

Satnak: Alright, I didn't see that coming.

Kanatash: Caralot and I thought a warrior of you calliber could use a mount of similar calliber. This is a Great wyrm Prismatic Dragon. (see ELH) We saw to it that it recieved several more abilities on top of it's own impressive repitour, including the extra heads. (FYI Standard great wyrm prismatic dragons are CR 66 :devil: ) I'll go over all it can do later. I has also been trained to be unswervingly loyal to you and you alone in the face of ultimate temptation, certain death, or even mind control. So do you like it.

Satnak: Not bad. I'm still not sure I shouldn't knock your incorperal *** back to Xoriat.

Kanatash: I thought you might feel that way so last night I took the liberty of tracking down the last of the Jarlot Leage in their own dimensions and aquiring this. (hands her a slip of paper)

Satnak: (glances at the paper) Is this the Chilli recipie?!

Kanatash: Yes.

At this point Norbaz happens to stroll onto the deck. Satnak rushes him and grabs him by his collar while shoving the piece of paper into his hands.

Satnak: YOU. CHILLE. NOW!

Norbaz: But I...

Satnak: I SAID NOW!

Norbaz: Ok, ok, I'm going! (takes off below decks)

Satnak: AND I WANT IT AT LEAST 20 ALARMS! (clutches head) Bloody mol.

Kanatash: So is all forgiven?

Satnak: I suppose. It's not like it was all THAT much of a disruption. Ugh, what I really need right now is a hangover cure.

Kanatash: Ah, I'm afraid I can't help you there. You could always use the captain's method however.

Satnak: What's that?

Kanatash guestures over to an even more drunk than usual Jarlot who is stumbling across the deck after relieving himself on the keel, much to John's displeasure.

Kanatash: Never sober up in the first place.
Crystalforged

06-03-06, 02:29 PM		OOC: Before I begin I just want to state that this is the begining of a plotline, probably a short one, that promises to be the most evil thing I have ever done, not the most insane, just the most evil.



IC: Jarlot is stumbling around the lower decks after Satnak's party, even drunker than usual. (which is hard to do) He's been stumbling aimlessly through the bowels of the ship for several hours and by chance wanders into the former Jarlot League headquarters. Inside the shadows are thick. Suddenly the sound of hissing, labored breath can be heard as a figure emerges from the shadow. The figure is dressed entirely in black with a long cape, parts of his body seem mechanical and no part of his actual skin is visible.

Jarlot: (slured) Heth, whoth ark youg?

Darth Jarlot: The booze is strong in this one. (waves his hand in front of Jarlot)

Jarlot: (suddenly sober) What the ****?!

Darth Jarlot: Jarlot, I am your father.

Jarlot: Are you serious.

Darth Jarlot: Ugh... Yeah.

Jarlot: ...Sweet Kyber, YES! I was afraid that senile old son of a ***** was actually related to me! So dad, you want to Conquer the galaxy and rule it as father and son?

Darth Jarlot: (shrugs) Sure...



OOC: Feel free to run with this where ever you want. The really good part isn't going to come til the end.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-03-06, 03:26 PM		Many of the Scum are gathered in a large audience hall. Terra stands on stage, Death Paper on her shoulder.

Terra: Ok. This marks the final exercise before finals in Squirrel 101. I need not remind you that you are required to pass at least this far per the Captains orders on pain of Caralot.

Scum: "Yeah, yeah." "We know." "Get on with it! I'm sober!"

Terra: Very well. Now, translate what I say: "My acorn is missing."

Scum: Squeak squeakin', squeak squeakity.

Terra: "Did you eat the acorn?"

Scum: Squeaker squeak squeak squeakin'?

Terra: "You owe me a new acorn."

Scum: Squeak squeak squeak, squeak squeaker squeakin'.

Terra: *sniff* I'm so proud of you guys...
urial angel of death

06-03-06, 04:00 PM		It is the night after Satnak's party. Suffice to say the boozes provided were of both top quality and top quantity.

Nalfien wakes up to the sight of Sharn... from several miles up.
Nalfien: How the hell did this happen?
Nalfien looks up to see, he is being held, by a rope hanging off the Forgotten Freedom. It is loosely wrapped around his leg.
Nalfien: How do I get up? Somebody help me! Please help me!

Faint cries for help drift up to the main deck. Muradin and Terra are on opposite sides of a table. Several passed out redshirts in overturned chairs cover the deck. In the center of the table is a large pile of coins and gems. Scattered about it are shot glasses and bottles.
Terra: Muradin, your continued effots are impressive, but you can't win.
Muradin: Yes me can!
Terra grabs each of them a shot glass, and pours into both, from a bubbling blue bottle.
Terra: Fine, bottoms up!

Slip wakes up, stretching her arms in back of herself. Clouds rush by the window, and a pleasant smell drifts in from the kitchen.
Slip: I haven't slept that well, since I got to this campaign setting (looks out window) Wait if I've been sleeping... Who's driving the ship!
Slip tears out of her room and down the hall.

Jarlot Sr. wakes up as well. Slip runs by his open door.
Jarlot Sr.: I slept good. What time is it?
V appears out of thin air. He is holding a small leather ball.
V: Dodgeball time!
Jarlot Sr.: Damnit V! What time is it?!
V: (throws ball at Jarlot Sr.) I said it was dodgeball time, *****!

Ketler is lying beside Ninja Jeala, trying to remain absolutely still.
Ketler (thinking to himself) : I have got to get out of here! She'll kill me! How did I get here? What happened last night? Does she know what happened? What do I do!?

Squinty opens his eyes to see he is without corrective lenses or his seeing-eye chocobo. Everything around him is pitch black.
Squinty: Guys this isn't funny! Guys?
???: Die vile beast!
Squinty: Ah!
Squinty begins shooting his rays off at random.
Voice from nowhere: Congradulations, you have successfully killed Drizzt. This has allowed for you to level-up several times. Which class do you wish to gain?
Squinty: Well I can't see anyways , so Beholder Mage!
voice: Ding!
Squinty: Is that it? I always thought a level-up would be more impressive. Anyways, I cast locate person. Where am I?
Voice: You are in Volrath's closet. In front of you is a locked door. Behind you is a shoggoth. (Squinty shouts a rather feminine scream.) To your right are Maxim, Jenny and various other Modest Destiny characters in glass tubes.

Meanwhile Volrath wakes up to the feel of a female body beside him.
Volrath: So sweety how did you like that homecomi-
He turns over to see Lisa.
Volrath: :shocked:
Lisa's eyes shoot open.
Lisa: :OMG!
upon realizing the situation, they do the only reasonable thing to do, scream.

Klaz wakes up inside a room full of sleeping aberrations.
Klaz (thinking) : How did this happen? Just have to think of a plan...
The screams of Volrath, Squinty, and Lisa pierce the silence. All of the aberration awaken.
Klaz: Oh :censored:

Hoybee wakes up and rolls over to see the old dwarf lady, also awakening.
Hoybee: I had a really good time.
Old dwarf lady: So did I.
Hoybee: I know you don't believe in sex before marriage, (View zooms out to show both of them on separate beds, with a shimmer in the air between them.) but was the wall of force really necessary?
rampant

06-03-06, 05:26 PM		Satnak - What is this

Sees pile of gifts.

Satnak - Ok this ones from the disaster duo and their little escapade.

Opens envelope poited at the cieling away from anything fragile.

Satnak - No explosions? :confused: I'm almost dissapointed.

Looks inside.

Satnak - Oh those brilliant bastards!!
-----------------------

KIthle - Thats wierd.

doog - What?

Kithle - For a moment I felt someone muscling in on my territory, but thats also my territory.

Doog - I thought you retrained out all that chemeleon stuff.

Kithle - Not really I just actually have most all those powers and abilities for real, now.

Doog - So your saying your in the same league as satnak?!

Kithle - HELL NO!!! I just have the brain sucker version. I can cast a few really nice druid spells but, not as many as terra, and i can't wildshape, or have poison immunity.

Doog - ah
---------------------------

Fluffy - Meow (who the hell are you)

Prismatic - apparently I'm Satnak's new mount.

Fluffy - meorl :confused: , meow (whatever your my *****)
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-03-06, 08:30 PM		Sa'vor sits on a Table all of his own, in Erks place. its the night before Slip comes back. before him is a glass of water. the others drink and laugh, though their voices seem further away to Sa'vor, as if they're only echo's.
Volrath sits down opposite him,

Volrath: Hey, are you okay? you see a bit more brooding than usual

Sa'vor: *looking up* hmmm?

Volrath: never mind. *walks off*

Mia sits down opposite Sa'vor. a look of concern on her face.

Mia: Hi, you dont look to happy. whats wrong?

Sa'vor: *sigh* you really wouldnt understand.

Mia: of course i would. renember, im only here to help. *small energy spike*

Sa'vor: well...

Mia: come on. i wont tell anyone else

Sa'vor: *anger fills him suddenly. he stands up and grabs her around the throat. he lifts her off the floor like a rag doll* I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR MIND GAMES MIA! STAY OUT OF MY MIND! * Sa'vor hurls her across the room as if she was a rag doll. she crashes into Volrath and Terras table. causing it to be knocked into shards*

everyone turns to Stare at Sa'vor. anger still burning in his eyes. his gauntleted hands clench and unclench.

Aerith: Sa'vor! that was really uncalled for, she was only trying to help

Sa'vor: do you know what? im tired of people probeing around in my mind, and messing with my senses. im tired of all these constant mind games and plots. will any of you leave the past alone! no! leave it alone!

Sa'vor blasts the door of its hinges and leaves. his mailed boots making no sound. thunder crackels overhead.

Terra: that was strange... whats eating him?

Tara: *sighs* its just this day, he always gets like this on this day. he just needs some alone time.

Volrath: which day would this be then?

Tara: well... i shouldnt really be telling you this, but its his birthday.

Terra: i dont see whats so bad about that....

Naz'roth: which also happens to be the day his mother died, and he lay criticaly injured. as well as coinciding with the day mourning. not really a good day for him, it plays on the inadiquecy he feels at being a cripple. he's always felt that he's not a true dragon, because thats the society that he wanted to be a part of...

Tara: this is what drives him to seek power, this feeling that he'll never be good enough. and that his father abandoned him because he was an abomination. also, his only true friends and comrades, members of the Cyran army. like his second family really, was wiped out. leaving him alive. it burns in him that he didnt die by their sides, as one of them. that he couldnt follow them into the after life.

Naz'roth: We where part of the 122nd Company, Sa'vor has always wanted to die in combat. its the Valenar in him, to die in the way his chosen ancestor did, along side his comrades or for a greater cause. but that death has always eluded him, no matter how hard he tried.

Volrath: so the best cause of action would be...

Naz'roth: let him cool down, give him a day. he'll be fine as soon as it passes, just when your within a hundred feet of him, do not on any count anger him.

Terra: and things that could anger him are?

Tara: mentioning death. fathers. family. Power. race. half-breeds .. the last war, anythign along those lines.

***

Sa'vor walked through the twisted wastes that where once Cyre. though they where not his people he felt their suffering. they adopted him into the ranks of the millitary. a skilled warlock even then, as well as a keen warrior. with a Daemon lord bound to him no less, where rare things indeed. he renembered it like it was yesterday, that final battle, him and Pyran. side by side, Sa'vor unleashing eldritch blasts and Pyrans dual wands blasting away.
then there had came the Mourning, Sa'vor had seen Pyrans soul pulled from his body. and his own very essence damaged, only Naz'roth hand kept him alive. there, barely alive, amungst the dead. allies and enemies, their blank eyes staring upwards into the sky's. never to walk the earth again. wives and children probably awaited many of the older men, or sweethearts the younger. all gone. all gone. all had followed the reaper into that realm of death, their final sacrifice showing the pointlessness of that infernal war.
Sa'vor had been left behind, no longer would the 122nd company flag fly, no longer would he and pyran fight side by side. dead. all dead.

Sa'vor sighed. immortality was a curse
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-03-06, 09:16 PM		There is a sign next to the door of Erk’s Place.

Tonight: Battle of the Bands, featuring:
Muradin Smash!
The Elminstrels
The What
Definitely NOT Kithle
The Jaela 3
Red Hot Chilli
Counting Crow
The Seriously P*ss*d-off Dead
The Vermin
Screaming Horrible Death


And our special guests (that means no killing):
The Silver Flame Templar Choir
rampant

06-03-06, 10:22 PM		Levy - You look like forbes after a fight, Scaly and depressed.

Sa'vor - I don't have to deal with right now, cocky little mortal.

Levy - Watch it or I'll feed you to Fluffy.

Sa'vor - ... Your lucky you know.

Levy - Right Either I'm stunted, cold hearted, or I'm gonna end up hurting the two most important people in my world.

Sa'vor - Eventually your pain ends.

Levy - You don't get it do you, my power can constantly repair the weakness caused by age, a partially synthetic form helps as well. My life expectancy is longer than yours. Now I know why that look on your face reminds me of Forbes. When he kills with his mental link abilitites he lives parts of his opponents life throught their eyes. He's old possibly older than the gods by now. Its wierd its not really him, but parts of that corner of his mind affect the rest, he doesn't get shocked, often forgets dates, or non cyclic events. Time is losing its meaning to him already, It happens to every one of the students eventually, but we subliminate it under our mortal natures to drive on. Forbes has to fight a lot more experience than we do, I bet your time powers have a similar effect on you.

Sa'vor - ...

Levy - I gotta deal with something.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-04-06, 02:03 AM		Terra counts her winnings from the drinking contest at the party. It was quite the haul, considering she bested two dozen Redshirts, Nalfein, and stayed awake longer than Muradin.

Lisa: Why'd you agree to it?

Terra: Well, a bunch of the new recruits heard about me and refused to believe a woman could beat them at drinking. You know the type. Hairy, smelly, bar haunting losers who talk big but can't back it up.

Lisa: A lesson in humility?

Terra: That, and not to mess with the higher ups. Maybe the next one should be on the benefits of good hygene. Ugh...

Lisa: And Nalfein?

Terra: He stumbled on deck slobbering drunk and thought it was a good idea to try his luck. I was quite surprised that he lasted seven rounds. He's not as much of a lightweight as I thought. After he passed out for a few minutes, he got back up and stumbled over the side, getting himself tangled in that rope. I thought it best to let him sleep it off.

Lisa: You and Muradin kept going till he fell asleep.

Terra: He's never been able to accept defeat. Dwarven pride and all that. I do admire his tenacity though. He stopped passing out after the first 20 years of trying.
rampant

06-04-06, 04:00 AM		Levy - Satnak

Satnak - I know that tone, I didn't dream that then.

Levy - No, no you didn't

Satnak - I guess its your move then.

Levy - Why is it always games with you breakers?

Satnak - By defining the rules of the situation you gain power over those who play by them.

Levy - I guess this is why you and Forbes don't get along, your too much alike.

Satnak - We both fell for you didn't we?

Levy - Ooh, low kid.

Satnak - ...

Levy - DAMMIT SATNAK I WANT MY LITTLE SISTER BACK! I WANT MY FRIEND FORBES BACK! I can't be your lover or his. :weep: :banghead:

Satnak - I was afraid you'd say that. :(

Levy - What now? where do we go from here?

Satnak - You give your little sister a hug, you guys go home, and I heal for a while.

Levy - I'm supposed to be the mature one here Little Sis.

Satnak - Thats why we love you Levy you never did grow up all the way. Don't ever lose that.

Levy - -Hug-

Satnak - Ow watch the kidney.

Levy - Bye.

Satnak - Don't worry I'll be back for Illis's wedding.

Levy - Guess I know now why you two never hooked up.

Satnak - Don't you go taking the blame for things now, I made my own choices. I have no regrets.

Levy - There you go again, sounding like Forbes.

Satnak - You hate someone long enough and you start picking things up.

Levy - See ya

Satnak - Don't worry you will.
-----------------------------------

Levy, Rixle, and Telfon open the portal and leave.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-04-06, 08:07 AM		Sa'vor sighed. immortality was a curse
There is a knock on the door to Sa'vor's secret chamber.

Sa'vor: Come in, Igor.

13: If I was Igor I wouldn't have knocked.

Sa'vor stares at the progenitor dragon critically.

Sa'vor: How did you find this place?

13: I deliver the mail now. I've made it my job to know where everyone is at any time.

Sa'vor: Did Igor tell you?

13: No. It really wasn't that difficult. You were depressed, miserable. I still have the ability to warp time around those who suffer, and the way you've been going on it took a lot of my power not to pop right in here.

Sa'vor turns over in the hammock so he doesn't have to look at 13.

Sa'vor: Just leave the mail and go away.

13: You're starting to remind me of me.

Sa'vor: …………What do you mean?

13: Being all despressed because you think you can't change the past. And in your case I'm guessing you think you can't change the future. (it dumps a load of packages and envelopes onto the floor near Sa'vor) Your experience with me and the Mourning should have taught you at least one thing: time is more mutable than anything else. It's only when you acknowledge—not just allow to be but fight against as well—a vision of the future or the past does it control you.

Sa'vor: Time is set in place for a reason.

13: To do what? Why not just live? If you're controlled by destiney then everything you do is what you're supposed to do. If you're not, then do what you want and you'll be ahead of the game.

Sa'vor: …while around me everyone dies.

13: How does that make you unique? Mortals with less lifespan than you experience that problem every day. They b*tch and moan about it too. And yes, before you say anything, it does end with death. But you know what? Sometimes they move on. They keep living.

Sa'vor: ……………I think I missed something there.

13: Go live. Go find Slip and snog her. Get roaring drunk and wake up in bed next to her with no clothes on and no memory of what you did. By my mother! ask her to marry you, it's not like it's out of place these days. But can you really offer her anything the way you are?

Sa'vor can't answer.

13: I'd better get out of here now. I'm talking to a guy who thinks he'll live forever when he doesn't even realize he's died a long time ago.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-04-06, 01:51 PM		Rifling through her gifts, Satnak comes across a small box from Terra and Lisa. Opening it, she finds an envelope and a note. The note reads as follows:
"Never forget that you are more than just a warrior. Even Breaker Prime's need to be pampered once in a while. You may use this any time and as much you wish. If you want company, don't hesitate to ask."

Within the envelope is a card entitled: "Nina's Day Spa and Massage Parlor: Lifetime Membership."

OOC: She got so many combat related gifts, I thought this'd be a nice change of pace. :)
Crystalforged

06-04-06, 02:50 PM		Jarlot and Darth Jarlot quietly sneak into Kelter's lab where they find the artificer bent over, tinkering with his latest creation. Jarlot aproaches Kelter while Darth Jarlot hangs back in the shadows.

Jarlot: Say Kelter, do you still have that army of stormtroopers you used when Kanatash's duplicate went all Agent Smith on us?

Kelter: (not looking up from his work) Of course, you don't throw away stuff like that.

Jarlot: With complimentary blaster I presume.

Kelter: What kind of two-bit hack to you take as? Of course they have blasters.

Jarlot: Ok, then do you could craft me a lightsaber?

Kelter: I never leave home without one. (pulls a drawer open to reveal half a dozen lightsabers) What color do you want and how many blades?

Jarlot: I'll pick later, now could you make me some spaceships, say Tie fighters?

Kelter: I have a dozen prototype models in the back right now.

Jarlot: How about a star destroyer?

Kelter: Oh, I think there's a half finished one somewhere around here.

Jarlot: About how long would it take you to convert the ship into a death star then?

Kelter: Oh, I'd say 24 hours tops to have it operational, 48 and it should be invulnerable to any rebel skum.

Jarlot: Excellent, so could you make the imperial march play in the background whenever I walk.

Kelter: (cringes) Sorry, I just don't have the technology. Say, why do you want all this stuff anyways?

Jarlot: Oh, dad and I are just planning to concure the galaxy together.

Kelter: (perplexed) But you hate spending time with senior, why are you-

Darth Jarlot: (stepping from the shadows) No, not senior. I am his father.

Kelter: Bull****, thats not-

Kelter suddenly grabs his throat and begins to gag as his feet lift off the ground.

Darth Jarlot: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Jarlot holds out a hand to stay Darth Jarlot

Jarlot: Father, we still need the services that he can provide to us.

Darth Jarlot looks at him for a moment before letting his hand drop to his side. Kelter is released and crumples onto the ground. Jarlot moves to his side and helps him to his feet.

Jarlot: I apologize, now I offer you this, aid us now and when we rule I belive a VERY favorable position may be found for you in the coming empire.

Kelter: (considering for moment) What the heck, I'm not involved in any other plots right now. What do you want me to put together first?
urial angel of death

06-04-06, 03:45 PM		Volrath: I sense something is very wrong right now.
Terra: Someone trying to take over the world before you, Great Old One summoned, bunnies reproducing too quicky?
Volrath: No something much worse than all of those combined. Someone asked to have my theme song.
Terra: Imperial March?
Volrath: Yes.
Terra: Why haven't you played it in a while?
Volrath: I don't know, but now seems like a good time.
Volrath laughs maniacly and the song is heard all over Eberron.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-04-06, 05:38 PM		13: Hey, Jarlots, I'm joining you.

Jarlot: Why? You haven't struck me as evil lately.

13: Who says I have to have a reason? I became an Entity of Non-existance recently, I get to do illogical things.

Darth Jarlot: How can we be sure your loyalties lie with us?

13: Let me put it this way: if we come across anyone who preaches that you can be good and control your emotions you won't need to waste energy strangling them because I'll get there before you.

Darth Jarlot: Impressive.
rampant

06-04-06, 06:29 PM		Kithle - Looks like I'm gonna have to deal with this one. Ugh, let me see first annihilate any redshirts with a farming back ground. Lock up the Mindbolds, and bribe jingo the shade to stay the hell out of this. Mug anyone dressing in brown, or all black. Gah where's Andrea we need her wraiths again.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-04-06, 06:52 PM		Random Entity from Non-existance: We've got a probelm.

Silver: How so?

Random Entity from Non-existance: I just reviewed the Alt-Jarlot threads, and Jarlot is supposed to be Han Solo.

Crow: This is Jarlot Sr. as Darth Vader. Not a problem.

Random Entity from Non-existance: So does that mean that Han is really Luke?

Silver: I don't think we have to play tight with the accuracy of the Star Wars references.

Random Entity from Non-existance: But then how am I supposed to eliminate the Alts that don't conform to the proper standard?

Silver: Sr. is an annoying evil bastard……hey, wait, the Random Entity from Non-existance is right! Sr. makes a much better Emperor than Vader!

Crow: But this way Kantash can play Obi-wan.

Silver: The whole incorporeal thing? Isn't that just a shortcut?

Random Entity from Non-existance: Then who's Yoda?

Crow: Well it can't be Igor because no matter what happens Igor is always Igor.

Silver: C-3PO?

Random Entity from Non-existance: No, no, he's not prissy enough.

Crow: Hold on, maybe Kithle's the emperor.

Random Entity from Non-existance: No way. He's too smart. He'd never fail to take the Ewoks into account.

Crow: Oh, yeah. Guess it can't be any of the übers, then.

Silver: Would Satnak work as Leia? She can kick but with the best of them.

The three try to picture Satnak with her ears covered by the bagle style.

All three: No.

Random Entity from Non-existance: Ooo! Lisa. She's part of a royal family, she's tough, but she's also got a nice feminine side.

Silver: And Terra works as Han. I mean, she's roguish.

Crow: But again she's just too smart. She doesn't fit "reckless scoundrel".

Lucky: Hi.

All three: :blink: :lightbulb :shifty: :devil:

Lucky: (anime sweat drop)

Random Entity from Non-existance: And the best part is we can make Erk Chewbacca. But we still don't have Obi-wan, Luke, Yoda, Lando, R2, 3PO…
rampant

06-04-06, 07:07 PM		Satnak - I'm a mess I'm gonna try this spa place.
-------------------------
Lisa - Thats the last of the invitations.

Terra - I got the church booked.

Satnak - Uh, I know you two are really busy right now, but do you have time to take a day or two off and try this place out?

----------------------
Silver - NOOOO!

Kithle - I thought was gonna have to suggest something.

Crow - Your trying to ruin this aren't you?

Kithle - Read the plaque.

Random Entity - We'll just use others.

Kithle - Yes, but its a lot more fun to watch pholly try to be Yoda, than to watch the shade or the mindbolds succeed.

Silver - Your messing with the cast purely for your own entertainment? don't you care about which side wins?

Kithle - Read the plaque.

Crow - The distubing part is that he wears it as a necklace.
urial angel of death

06-04-06, 09:00 PM		Crow: Squishy could be Jabba.
Silver: That's is quite a stretch.
Crow: He's the closetst thing we got.
Silver: Maybe I'll think of something, but for now alright.
Crow: Nalfien could be the emperor, if we magically aged/deformed him and we replaced all of the fireball pages of his spellbook with lightning bolt pages.
Silver: Wait maybe Terra could be Jabba.
Crow: No Jabba is far to stupid. He's also pervy in a different way than Terra.
Silver: Volrath could be that "thing" in the garbage dump.
Crow: Ninja Jaela could be Boba Fett.
Silver: I think we have just defined a new level of weirdness.
Crystalforged

06-04-06, 11:09 PM		OOC: I forgot to mention something here, Kanatash and Caralot are out of the picture for the moment, both of them left saying they were going to explore the portal Kanatash created for Caralot. They said something about needing to, "catch them all." Other than that, as I said before, you can run with this where ever you want. However I have one request, if you endup killing Darth Jarlot, let me do the death scene. I have a reason for this and you'll see when the time comes. Let me just tease you by saying by the time this is over, Kithle may not be the only one with a plaque like that for a necklace. :evillaugh

On a side note, who would be a good Star Wars equivilent for Kelter since he's already involved?
Kaizer_Ryu

06-05-06, 12:05 AM		Terra - I got the church booked.
OOC: I think you missed the implications of the Druid/SF combo. This is going to be an outdoor wedding (just after sunset for the "mortally-challenged" members). Read on to figure out where it's being held.

IC:

(at the spa, currently in a mudbath.)

(PS: SEPARATE ONES, YOU PERVERTS! :D )

Satnak: So, you gonna tell me who's doing what?

Terra: Well, as you know, Sakura/Jaela's leading the ceremony. As for Brides maids, I'm having Caralot and P/Y/R.

Lisa: I'm having Aerith as one...and I kind of hoped you would be the other.

Satnak: :blink: :D Seriously?!

Lisa: Absolutely.

Satnak: :w00t: What else?

Terra: Well...Doog's the flower girl.

Satnak: :twitch: Uh...

Lisa: Yes, we know. He really wanted to, and we couldn't think of anything else for him to do.

Satnak: O....kay...

Terra: Volrath is my Best man, with the expressed condition that he doesn't try to pull anything.

Lisa: John's mine. (OOC: Don't ask how. Weirder stuff than this has happened on this thread.)

Satnak: :confused: Isn't Best man reserved for the groom?

Lisa: Well, there isn't technically a groom, no. But we thought it would be nice to include the Best man position anyway.

Terra: Chalky and his band are on music.

Lisa: Erk and Norbaz are catering the reception.

Terra: Death Paper and the Squirrel Civilization are heading security.

Lisa: Roosevelt, Allen, and Ketler are on construction of the wedding and reception sites.

Terra: Squishy and Tabitha are handling the guest list and gifts.

Lisa: Igor is handling outfits.

Terra: Jaela Jarlot is handling pictures and Vrin is taking care of videos. Klaz will NOT be doing commentary. He will be locked in Volrath's closet until after the reception.

Lisa: Cabin Boy, Lucky, Pholly and Phollie are ushers. Before you ask, the walking time bombs aren't allowed to even be NEAR liquid of any kind. They could probably make holy water into a deadly weapon by looking at it.

Terra: Martha (Old Dwarf Lady) is taking care of decorations.

Lisa: Mr. T, Steve, and Jingo will be watching The Three.

Satnak: I just realised...you still haven't told me where it's going to be.

Lisa: We got permission to hold it in front of The Face of Tira. The surrounding countryside is beautiful.

Satnak: Outdoors, huh? What about the weather?

Terra: Not much of an issue. A few Druids I'm close to will be attending, including the High Priestess. She knew my mother well and even gave me a few lessons when I was young.

Satnak: Really? Isn't she upset with the way you've basically abused your knowledge?

Terra: At first, yes, but she accepted it when I forbade poaching. It was a major crisis for many years that they had been unable to solve. She sees it as a "I'd rather you not, but I guess it's acceptable" kind of situation.

Satnak: Ah, making a virtue of necessity. Anything else?

Lisa: That pretty much covers what we've got so far.

OOC: If I've missed anything, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I know I am, but I can't figure out what. This is only for FORMAL positions. Stuff they'd plan for. Other, "unexpected" positions *wink wink* will be filled at the time of the wedding.
Crystalforged

06-05-06, 12:32 AM		Jarlot shows up at a random House Sivis message station dressed in a black, hooded robe. He has the hood pulled low over his face. A gnome moves forward to greet him.

gnome: Welcome to the d'sivis message station sir, how may I help you today.

Jarlot: I would like to send a message to all of Khorvair.

gnome: ALL, of Khorvair sir? (pulls out an abacus) Let's see, that will run you about 10,000 GP.

Jarlot: (waving his hand in front of the gnome) My payment is not neccesary.

gnome: Acutally sir, it is.

Jarlot: (waving his hand more forcefully) I said no payment will be necessary.

gnome: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop making those odd guestures and pay for our services or I will be forced to release our security trolls.

Jarlot: (sigh) Fine, here. (pulls out a large sack)

gnome: Excellent sir, may I inquire now as to the message you wish to send? (pulls out quill and parchment)

Jarlot: My message is this, (speaking a deep voice) I, Jarlot, and my father, Darth Jarlot, do hereby declare our sovierenty over all of Khorvair. Together we command the greatest power in the galaxy and you will bow before us. Those who refuse shall be crushed before the might of our great fleet and our unstoppable creation, the Death Star. We expect to recieve your terms of surrender by noon tomorrow or we shall unleash our forces upon you. None of you rebel scum can hope to oppose us, our rule is INEBIDABLE.

gnome: I'm sorry, it's what?

Jarlot: Inevit- inebidable.

gnome: One more time?

Jarlot: Inebidable! Our rule is inebidable! God****it, open your ****in' ears!

gnome: I apologize profusely sir, I really can't understand what you're saying.

Igor: (appearing from nowhere) Ith btheive hesth attmpthin to sayth, "Inebidable." Ith noth sureth hothever.

gnome: Ah, of course. Why didn't you say so in the first place?

Jarlot puts his head in his hands and begins to walk off when the gnome calls back to him.

gnome: A moment sir, we just recieved a message for you.

Jarlot: (opening it) Terms of surrender from Aurundir? But you haven't even sent my message yet have you?

gnome: No sir, but thats Aurundir for you.



OOC: Cookie if you can figure out where the "inebidable" reference comes from. :D
Crystalforged

06-05-06, 12:43 AM		OOC: If I've missed anything, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I know I am, but I can't figure out what. This is only for FORMAL positions. Stuff they'd plan for. Other, "unexpected" positions *wink wink* will be filled at the time of the wedding.
OOC: I'll leave you with veto power on this but I imagined Kanatash might be giving away the bride in Terra's case since we won't have her father showing up (probably, this is the FF after all) and he goes way back with her and Volrath. That and I can't really think of another position for him.
Charles Phipps

06-05-06, 01:46 AM		Ketler: Hey, have you guys got any idea where Jarlot went?

Terra: It's my wedding. I have more important things to do than think about our crazy Captain.

Ketler: Okay.

Aerith: Oh, his father Darth Jarlot came and picked him up after the orgy.

Ketler: WHAT!?

Aerith: Yes, apparently Jarlot in addition to causing the Mourning and other craziness is actually the last of the Deathstroys. A race of proto-humans whom were originally descended from the plane of Death. The race was eventually all but wiped out but their descendents obsessed with giant weapons, treasure, killing, and looting for the hell of it became the ancestors of modern day adventurers.

Ketler: Jarlot had an orgy!!? WHY AM I ALWAYS THE UNLUCKY ONE!

Aerith: In any case, he's currently killing the leader of the Necros and undergoing the ritual trials of manhood across planets visited via Spelljammer that are made of lava, ice, and filled with hostile aliens.

Ketler: In addition to Star Wars he's ripping off the Chronicles of Riddick?

Aerith: Yes but we can't say that because of copyright issues.

Ketler: I hope he'll be alright.

Terra: Jarlot traded all of his other levels in for Epic Ranger. He could crawl across lava without problem.

Ketler: You're still talking like a gamer.

Terra: I admit, reading some of those books of his *lifts up D&D manual* were frightening in their sanity bending truths.

Jarlot: Yo.

Ketler: I thought you were conquering the galaxy with the guy who obviously isn't going to prove to be your father in the end.

Jarlot: And miss the wedding? HELL NO. Lisa is like a daughter to me.

Lisa: No, I'm really not.

Michael: I literally AM your son.

Jarlot: DNA results can be forged.

Admiral Jarlot: Don't worry son, you're always be my grandson.

Michael: Thanks Grandpa.

Admiral Jarlot: I meant Ketler!

Michael: In any case, I'm very happy for you too and though I will love Lisa til the day I die.....sooooo interested in adultery?

*WHAMED WITH HAMMER UPGRADED TO +6 FOR THE WEDDING*

Michael: I'm going to move on with my life. Andrea's promised to get me a new girlfriend.

Jarlot: Andrea hates you and Terra both.

***

Andrea: Hmmm....finally got the corpse of Terra's sister....now to make the sacrifices for the ressurection spell and eternal revenge...

***

Michael: Oh well, I'm sure it can't be bad.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-05-06, 02:08 AM		Andrea: Hmmm....finally got the corpse of Terra's sister....now to make the sacrifices for the ressurection spell and eternal revenge...
:confused: She has a sister now? Maybe you meant her mother (biological of course, little of the surrounding 500 mile radius would be left if it was her adoptive one :devil: ). Oh well, it's funny, so I don't mind either way. Just expect Andrea to die horribly (several times) if it is, indeed, her adoptive mother.

As far as Kanatash giving Terra away, I'll have to think about it. Lisa might not take too kindly to it. However, Aerith is one of Lisa's brides maids, so maybe it'd be ok. *shrugs* You'll find out. I was wondering if I should do the whole 'giving the bride away" thing, seeing as there are two of them.

I'm hoping to post the wedding within the next few days. I really need to make sure I don't screw it up. I would rather not find out what sick and twisted tortures SilvercatMoonpaw has in mind if I do. ;)

And the 'inebidable' is from Team America: World Police. The puppet sex will forever leave me scarred. :D

EDIT: It just occurred to me that no one has done Bachelor (bachelorette?) parties yet. You only have a little while left to do them if you want to. I fully expect to regret turning over responsibilities for this to you psychos. :looloo: But remember: if you do one, you can't do the other.
Charles Phipps

06-05-06, 03:06 AM		Well sister seemed less icky. ;-)
Kaizer_Ryu

06-05-06, 03:33 AM		Well sister seemed less icky. ;-)
True. Go with it. We'll call it a Narrative Element.
rampant

06-05-06, 05:42 AM		Kithle - Dear sweet kyhber forget Andrea, I'll raise my own undead army. Dammit I can't command the ubers If their all busy... Screw it Hey captain How do I get dibs on Argonessen?

-------------------

Satnak - So do you have dresses picked out for the bridesmaids? If not I got this yellow number...

Terra - We have that taken care of.

Satnak - it had better-

Lisa - They aren't pink.

Satnak - Good,... How did you get Kithle to go back on stage. Last time it took Everything Silver had.

Lisa - He ate a Bard its getting easier each time he performs.

Terra - That and I had Death Paper ask him. He really does act like the little origamis pop sometimes.

Satnak - How are your bird feeders by the way.

Terra - I think I'm being loop-holed Deathpaper is staying out, but I think he's having the Squirrels steal the seeds for him. Also I keep finding bloody paw prints and feathers.

Satnak - He's a Cat.

Terra - Uhg!

Lisa - Isn't that his special attack?

Terra - Hows the dragon working out?

Satnak - Pretty smart for a Ghidorah wannabe. I've got him Fishing for us, Seafood chili when we get back. :D

Lisa - How did things go with Levy?

Satnak - -Sigh- We talked she just doesn't have any romantic interest in me or forbes. I feel kinda silly trying to compete in a race that no one could win.

Lisa - You made Breaker Prime though.

Satnak - Yeah, but its ...

Terra - A hollow and lonely victory?

Satnak - Yes -sigh- :(

Terra - You gonna be Ok. Is this gonna hurt your existing relationship?

Satnak - I'll heal, I'll get over it, things will be a little wierd for a bit, but Friend of Levy's is a lifetime position. One of the things that makes her so great.

Lisa - So I guess now isn't a good time to tell you I think the Massuse was checking you out?

Satnak - The tall brunette girl who worked my legs alot or the short blond boy who was trying to smell my hair during the facial? They were both kinda cute

Terra - I think the blond was a just a towel boy.

Satnak - Whatever.

Lisa - How did you see through the cucumber?

Satnak - One of the seeds fell.

Terra - I was expecting some sort of power or super acute awareness.

Satnak - I'm on vacation.

Lisa - And you?

Terra - Bird outside the window.

Satnak - To bad it wouldn't work with either of them.

Terra - Why not?

Lisa - THink, Satnak in the throes of passion hugs her lover close...

Terra - and up comes the liquified organs. Right the whole overwhelming strength problem.

Satnak - My options back on my realm of origen were pretty limited, assuming I wanted a humanoid mate. Out here a potencial canidate is a rarity, even amongst the qoute unqoute monsters. That and I'm so not into scales, no offense to the drakes or the lizards, but too much like forbes.

Lisa - So dragons are out huh?

Satnak - Pretty much yeah.
urial angel of death

06-05-06, 07:12 AM		OOC: Kaizer you forgot that Nalfien is the confetti girl.
Nalfien: I'm not a girl. :mad:
OOC: Then why are you chibi and wearing a dress?
Nalfien: :weep:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-05-06, 09:40 AM		Terra: Well, as you know, Sakura/Jaela's leading the ceremony. As for Brides maids, I'm having Caralot and P/Y/R.
OOC: Caralot? :blink: :twitch:
Lisa: I'm having Aerith as one...and I kind of hoped you would be the other.
Check.
Terra: Well...Doog's the flower girl.
:banghead:
Terra: Volrath is my Best man, with the expressed condition that he doesn't try to pull anything.
Check.
Lisa: John's mine. (OOC: Don't ask how. Weirder stuff than this has happened on this thread.)
I'm not going to ask how. I'm going to ask why.
Terra: Chalky and his band are on music.
Check.
Lisa: Erk and Norbaz are catering the reception.
Check.
Terra: Death Paper and the Squirrel Civilization are heading security.
Don't forget the honor guard. The image of Silver Flame paladins standing across from a bunch of armored squirrels is too much fun.
Lisa: Roosevelt, Allen, and Ketler are on construction of the wedding and reception sites.
Would have suggested that if I knew construction was involved.
Terra: Squishy and Tabitha are handling the guest list and gifts.
Okay.
Lisa: Igor is handling outfits.
:w00t:
Terra: Jaela Jarlot is handling pictures and Vrin is taking care of videos. Klaz will NOT be doing commentary. He will be locked in Volrath's closet until after the reception.
Check. Good thinking.
Lisa: Cabin Boy, Lucky, Pholly and Phollie are ushers.
Terra: Martha (Old Dwarf Lady) is taking care of decorations.
Lisa: Mr. T, Steve, and Jingo will be watching The Three.
Good. Good. Who are The Three?
And as for:
I would rather not find out what sick and twisted tortures SilvercatMoonpaw has in mind if I do.
Don't worry, I'll just be showing up.
I mean me. SilvercatMoonpaw. At the wedding. :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-05-06, 10:08 AM		OOC: Alright, since Terra's the one who's been around, Lisa needs a bachelor party. Actually, since this is the FF, lets make it a bachelor kiddnapping… ;)
IC: Several shadowy forms slip into the spa.

Lisa is away from Terra and Satnak at the moment.

Several of the shadows in the room flicker for a moment, and then she is immobalized, prevented from crying out in any way.

Shadow1: Sorry, just following orders. You know how that's like.

They all dissapear into the Shadow Plane.
*****
Back on the FF the shadows bring Lisa before Crow and Silver. Lisa is now in a simple white dress/robe with her hair wrapped up in a silly bagel style at the sides of her head.

Crow: Right, take her to Darth.

Lisa: WTF is going on??

But she is dragged off before she gets an answer.

Silver: We'd better have a Jabba on hand just in case.
******
Terra immediatley notices that Lisa is being kiddnapped, but is prevent from helping by a Narrative Element.

Terra: WhyTF is this happening now?

There is a commotion from the front of the spa, and Erk rushes in dragging several security guards behind him. He starts a long litany of grunts, growls, and various other animal-like noises. He points emphatically at Terra and Satnak and then out the door.

Satnak: Hey, in an actual language.

Erk: *sigh* Lisa's been kidnapped to serve as Princess Leia so you can rescue her from the "Death Star" (Dr. Evil fingers). Terra is Han and Satnak is Luke. We still don't have an Obi-Wan or droids yet.

Terra: Why are you so worried? I mean, when has any of these plots had any effect?

Erk: Well Volrath is pushing to be Grant Moff Tarkin so he can use the "Death Star" to blow up Lisa's home country of Thrane.

Terra: *sigh*

Satnak: And why am I Luke?

Erk: Yoiu got your arm cut off by a relative (or at least lost it while fighting one), are young and good looking, don't strike people as all that competant but in reality have a hidden power. That's good enough for this parady. Now let's move. We need a Kenobi before we can do anything else. And I have no Eberronian idea how we find R2 and 3PO.

Terra: Well, R2's primary function is to help out in the Death Star, so we need someone who knows a whole bunch about it's inner workings.

Erk: Oh, no.

Terra: Yes, I'm afraid we have to ask Roosevelt.
Chrys

06-05-06, 10:55 AM		occ: Damn Now I'm going move my kidnapping plot until after the wedding :embarrass [or I could steal her from the kidnappers :P ;) ]

P/Y/R: Damn now I'm going have to cancel bachelorett party.

Volrath: So can I come out of the cake then.

P/Y/R: No, You'll just have to stay in there untill we have the Day of the Beast party tomarrow

Volrath: ... But I'm all sticky!

P/Y/R: Hey your the one who wanted the cake to be an Ice cream cake... any way you get used to being sticky trust me.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-05-06, 11:10 AM		OOC: Caralot? :blink: :twitch:
Yeah. They are working together on the Demon Chocobos, and she helped Terra out with the modifications. That, and most of the other females hate her too much or aren't very close.

I'm not going to ask how. I'm going to ask why.
Because there are so very few 'good' males on board, because I have another role for Jarlot, and because it's funny. I thought about Ketler, but realized Jaela/Sakura would be right next to him. The girls would have realized this as well, so I couldn't do that. No matter how funny it would be. :P

Don't forget the honor guard. The image of Silver Flame paladins standing across from a bunch of armored squirrels is too much fun.
Crap. That's what I was forgetting. Oh, well. There are enough Squirrels to fill both requirements. The image of a bunch of Squirrels in black tuxes and sunglasses packing heat is too much fun as well.

Would have suggested that if I knew construction was involved.
Pews...altar...stage...dancefloor... You know, that kind of thing.

Who are The Three?
The Three are:
1.) Jonny the retard Illithed
2.) Squinty the nearsighted Gauth
3.) Melvin the Alergic Aboleth

And as far as Kenobi, how about Projection Kithle? Some slight modifications on his part, and he becomes incorporial and blue. :D

For 3PO, I was thinking about the guy who claims he's an imprisoned Rajah and has incredible power, but never actually does anything but cower in fear during battle. I can't remember what his name was, and I'm a bit pressed for time at the moment, otherwise I'd look.

Also, Chrys. As I said, you'll have to do it BEFORE the wedding. Again, you'll see why. Maybe right after she is rescued. And:

P/Y/R: Hey your the one who wanted the cake to be an Ice cream cake... any way you get used to being sticky trust me.
If this implies what I think it does... Ew. :P
Chrys

06-05-06, 11:19 AM		:D :angelhide What she used to be 3 hyper active pixies I'm sure she was coved in Ice cream all the tiem ;)

Oh And this is How I picture P/Y/R in my head (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/fc1_gallery/98457.jpg)
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-05-06, 11:30 AM		Crap. That's what I was forgetting. Oh, well. There are enough Squirrels to fill both requirements. The image of a bunch of Squirrels in black tuxes and sunglasses packing heat is too much fun as well.
OOCat: But it's a bunch of squirrels standing across from SILVER FLAME PALADINS as Terra and Lisa walk back down the asle. Tell me that's not funny.
Pews...altar...stage...dancefloor... You know, that kind of thing.
Well I thought they were just going to book a church.
And as far as Kenobi, how about Projection Kithle? Some slight modifications on his part, and he becomes incorporial and blue. :D
Episode IV, we need a solid one.
For 3PO, I was thinking about the guy who claims he's an imprisoned Rajah and has incredible power, but never actually does anything but cower in fear during battle. I can't remember what his name was, and I'm a bit pressed for time at the moment, otherwise I'd look.
Jam. It's sad. I can't remember yesterday very well but I can pretty much name the entire crew. :teach: :crazy: He'll do.
Unfortunately Kithle is in no way Obi-wan. That's a character who needs to seem old and wise no matter the version. Luckily we might not need a Yoda.
rampant

06-05-06, 01:03 PM		OOC : If Satnak is Luke you don't really need an Obi-wan She's pretty much trained. Come one she can already make something much nastier than a lightsaber with just her melds and powers. Seriosly does she need more abilities?
____________________
Satnak - This is too much, their gonna get it, I'm gonna rip their skins off, roll them in honey, and sitck them in an ant mound.

Terra - Its my fiance that got kidnapped I should be making up cruel deaths for the perps.

Satnak - Too late, I like this one.
urial angel of death

06-05-06, 01:58 PM		the good version of Sa'vor could be the old guy (can't remeber how to spell it)
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-05-06, 03:13 PM		OOC : If Satnak is Luke you don't really need an Obi-wan She's pretty much trained. Come one she can already make something much nastier than a lightsaber with just her melds and powers. Seriosly does she need more abilities?
Name a better character than Obi-wan. Come on…
Satnak - This is too much, their gonna get it, I'm gonna rip their skins off, roll them in honey, and sitck them in an ant mound.

Terra - Its my fiance that got kidnapped I should be making up cruel deaths for the perps.

Satnak - Too late, I like this one.
Silver: Oooooo, me too.

Crow: Hey, I'm the god of death here.

Silver: Well, don't you think it's good?

Crow: No. That's basic. I'd insert sunflower seeds deep under the skin and then send squirrels after them.

Ketler: Hey, guys, Darth want to know if you've decided on a Yoda?

Silver: Yeah: Mrs. Greyholm.

Ketler: WHAT? She's a sweet little old lady—

A 'saber fighting Marth Greyholm and Errandis d'Vol swirl past.

Ketler: :blink:

Crow: By the way, we retained d'Vol as the Emperor.

Silver: That just leaves Obi-wan Kenobi.

Ketler: Hey, I just had a brilliant idea. Satnak already knows someone who's old and wise and got beat up by their student.

Silver: We already thought of Forbes.

Corw: There is no possible need to say why we're not doing it.

OOC: I'd actually appreciate it if you wouldn't take all this out on Silver, Crow, and 13. 13's not even involved with kidnapping Lisa, and Silver and Crow are only being what they are (like Terra).
Phantomcrossing

06-05-06, 04:08 PM		Lisa is dragged by guards into a chamber where a tall, helmeted, cloaked figure stands facing out a window into a sea of stars.

The figures turns around, the full darth vader helm is visible....as well as a cooking apron and a lava pattern red/black spoon at his side.

Lisa: Norbaz?

Norbaz Vader: Yeah....don't ask...I got roped into this act. (motions to the side)

Upon a thrown, sits a figure in a cloak with the hood pulled tight, however the voice undeniably reveals its owner to be Admiral Jarlot.

Emperor Jarlot Senior: Now, with darkside do I have to say Darkside like one would say, Bizzarro?
urial angel of death

06-05-06, 04:57 PM		:D :angelhide What she used to be 3 hyper active pixies I'm sure she was coved in Ice cream all the tiem ;)

Oh And this is How I picture P/Y/R in my head (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/fc1_gallery/98457.jpg)

I always pictured Volrath to be the moon hagling from Creature Compendium 2 (3rd party product) or something like this (http://charas-project.net/resources/Monsters/12734_1110491712.) which ever floats your boat. Too bad the moon hagling isn't on the net.
rampant

06-05-06, 07:40 PM		Kithle - you see, i told you it would be for fun if you had to scrape the barrel

Silver - Ok you were right about the yoda thing.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-05-06, 08:23 PM		Silver: Well, Kithle was right about using weird choices..

Crow: So let's see what happens with Kenobi.

Silver: Well, if the Entity from Beyond Non-existance recalls correctly, the very original poster for the movie had two Jedi but no extra person to be the smuggler captain.

Crow: I know where you're going. *sigh* Terra still does not fit the bill. She has wit, she has wisdom. She just doesn't have that the kind of wit and caring wisdom.

Silver: Well who else is wise and caring and slightly witty? The Word Being has to be Erk who has to be Chewbacca. Igor can't be anyone other than Igor. You sure we can't just leave that part out.

Crow: Do you not remember the Animaniacs episode? Slappy was Obi-wan and even though she was cranky she kicked it out of the park! Obi-wan has to have wisdom and some sort of comedic talent.

Silver: Well how many people on this ship come up as wise? Kithle—

Silver and Crow pause. Then they grin. :devil:

Kithle: I'm outta here.

Silver: Oh no you don't…

Crow: …you told us to scrape the barrel.

Kithle: Not going to happen. I'm not participating in this farce. :fight!:

Kithle grabs his lightsaber and activates it.

Kithle: :confused: :twitch: I'm already stuck in it, aren't I?

Silver: Narrative Element, bigtime.

Crow: Unless you can come with a really good alternative, you're of half-man.

OOC: Come on! I let 13 get fried for a laugh. You can let Kithle fight Darth Jarlot (heck, let him win).
rampant

06-05-06, 08:58 PM		Kithle - I'm not losing to the tin-can-commando !! :mad:
----------------------

Satnak - Do we start now or what?
urial angel of death

06-05-06, 09:11 PM		Squishy: Yes start so I can get my sand barrage full of ever so valuable slave dancers :drool:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-05-06, 09:51 PM		Ketler: Hey, guys, Darth want to know if you've decided on a Yoda?

Silver: Yeah: Mrs. Greyholm.

Ketler: WHAT? She's a sweet little old lady—

A 'saber fighting Marth Greyholm and Errandis d'Vol swirl past.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Terra: Wow. I never knew she had it in her.

Satnak: She is a master of the ways of The Force. She deserves your respect.

Terra: Awesome soup, wonderful cookies, a great taste in decorating, AND Force powers? Nice. I'm glad she's on our side.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-05-06, 10:32 PM		Kithle - I'm not losing to the tin-can-commando !! :mad:
OOcat: We were suggesting you win. It would be more fun that way.

Kithle: Oh, sorry.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
OOC: Once I was but the learner, now I am the master.
rampant

06-05-06, 10:43 PM		Kithle - Do we get spiffy outfits too?

Silver - I think He's starting to enjoy this.

Crow - What makes you say that?

Kithle - One light saber for the hand, death paper in the other, and a mindblade for my tentacles!!! :D

Silver - This deserves the robes.
Phantomcrossing

06-05-06, 10:50 PM		Grand Moff Volrath: Okay, lets go over the list.

Darth Norbaz Vader: Got the checklist here.

Grand Moff Volrath: Death Star?

Darth Norbaz Vader: We bought a Kingship off of the Iron Dukes and the Ogre King from Spell Jammer.

Grand Moff Volrath: Tie Fighters?

Darth Norbaz Vader: We stuck two tower shields on either side of a bunch of hollowed out beholder ships.

Grand Moff Volrath: How many do we have?

Darth Norbaz Vader: Around two hundred.

Grand Moff Volrath: Can you do the force choke stuff for when they show up to rescue lisa.

Darth Norbaz Vader: I've been working on my psionics and I had the the chilli spoon modified.

Darth Norbaz Vader takes out the murlounds chilli spoon and activates it as a lightsaber of molten chilli.

Grand Moff Volrath: And the Emperor?

Emperor Admiral Jarlot Senior: Lightning Bolt at will! HA! Now if only I were a barbobot.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-05-06, 11:07 PM		OOC: Ok, I'm confused now. Who's who? This is what I thought it was:
Darth Jarlot: Admiral Jarlot (maybe, maybe not)
Apprentice 1: Captain Jarlot
Apprentice 2?: Norbaz
Tarkin: Volrath
Leia: Lisa
Han: Terra
Luke: Satnak
Obi-Wan: Kithle
Yoda: Martha Greyholm
Palpatine: Erandis D'Vol
Chewbacca: Erk
R2-D2: Roosevelt (or a creation of his)
C-3PO: Jam

Is this it, or did I miss something?
Crystalforged

06-05-06, 11:38 PM		OOC: Jarlot Senior (I assume thats what you mean by Admiral Jarlot), is most definitely NOT Darth Jarlot, trust me on this. :smirk: I seems some people are calling him Palpatine and others are calling Erandis Palpatine. Other than that the list seems acurate.

Oh, and actually I'm going to have to INSIST that someone kills Darth Jarlot in at some point here. If you have any ideas for how this happens you can go ahead with them, I don't have a plan for that (yet). Just remember that when you do I have a "special" death scene cooked up for him. Don't worry, when the time comes it will all make sense. :plotting:



IC: Jarlot: Alright I suppose it's time to go conqure the galaxy now.

Grand Moff Volrath: I thought we were going to vaporize Thrane in an attempt to make Princess Lisa reveal the rebel base?

Darth Jarlot: But there aren't any rebels yet since we haven't conqured the galaxy yet.

Grand Moff Volrath: Oh, yeah...

Jarlot: Well, for the moment I'll settle for concuring Khorvair, the rest of the galaxy can come later.

Emperor Admiral Jarlot Senior: That's the problem with you son, no ambition. You dream too small. In my day you'd just conqure everything and you'd make sure you didn't leave any rebel skum behind you when you did it.

Jarlot: Shut up, you senile old son of a *****. I don't know why you're here anyways, I didn't recruit you to be a part of my empire and the only reason I didn't have you executed outright was becuase your a dead ringer for the emperor. Oh, and I'M NOT YOUR SON! Darth Jarlot is my father.

Emperor Admiral Jarlot Senior: Kids these days, we respected our elders in my day. I don't know where you got these ideas son, I certainly didn't raise you to have them.

Jarlot: (sigh) Well, let's launch the fleet. Chart a course for Thronehold. We'll take it, rename it Courisant, and make it the capital of our empire.
urial angel of death

06-06-06, 12:13 AM		Grand Moff Volrath: Hello Admiral Nalfien.
Admiral Nalfien: Way a second I don't want to be an extra that Darth kills out of frustration.
Grand Moff Volrath: Don't worry he won't kill you as long as I live.
Admiral Nalfien: That's only until the Deathstar blows up.
Grand Moff Volrath: The death star is indestructible, except for one tiny weakness. No one will ever find that radiator shaft.
Admiral Nalfien: I thought Terra had beaten all of that stupidity out of you.
Grand Moff Volrath: That was anime stupidity. This is sci-fi villian stupidity.
Admiral Nalfien: Oh, now it all makes sense. :rolleyes:
Grand Moff Volrath: Now that you understand, we can move on. Did you install the improvements I ordered?
Admiral Nalfien: Yes, now the entire big gun is triggered by one big ominous red button.
Grand Moff Volrath: Excellent *taps fingers burns style*
rampant

06-06-06, 12:21 AM		Satnak - Can I please start with the shooting and the flying?!! I have this awesome new blade feather meld and a nifty little trick for vehicles I want to try?

Kithle - Shut up I have to wait in a cave until my scene.
urial angel of death

06-06-06, 12:22 AM		Grand Moff Volrath strides into the room contain the big red button.
Grand Moff Volrath: Most resist urge to destroy countries.
Grand Moff Volrath: Give into your darkside. Press the button.
Grand Moff Volrath: But the emperor will get mad.
Grand Moff Volrath: He'll understand. He's done crazier things before.
Grand Moff Volrath: No I can't press it.
Grand Moff Volrath: Must press.
Grand Moff Volrath: No.
Grand Moff Volrath: Please?
Grand Moff Volrath: Maybe just a small country no one cares about.
Grand Moff Volrath: Aundair?
Grand Moff Volrath: Let's sleep on it.
Grand Moff Volrath: Fine.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-06-06, 12:47 AM		Satnak: I'm still confused. Is this a parody of A New Hope or Return of the Jedi?

Terra: I think it's a meld of both. The emperor didn't show until Empire Strikes Back, and not in person till Jedi. You more accurately reflect the awesomeness that was Luke in Jedi, but Tarkin was killed in New Hope.

Satnak: Please tell me you're not going to be frozen in carbonite.

Terra: Not likely. That was in Empire, and this doesn't seem to include elements from it. Even if it was the best of the trilogy.

Satnak: When do I get an X-Wing?

Terra: Allen's working on it. Erk and I are still trying to get this rust bucket moving.

Erk: (on the Millenium Falcon holding a wrench) GWARRRRRRRGH!!!!!

Terra: NO! (shaking her head and pointing) That one goes there. That one goes there.

Erk: AR-ARGH! ARG-WRAH!

Terra: All right, all right, I'll be right there.

Satnak: Did Allen have to build it with the flaws included?

OOC: I can't figure out how to type Wookie. Seems easy enough, but is actually harder than Australian somehow.
urial angel of death

06-06-06, 12:59 AM		Admiral Nalfien: Sir the rebels are currently building their ship in our Death Star.
Grand Moff Volrath: Alright, carry on.
Admiral Nalfien: Don't you realize, we could wipe out the threat before it even starts.
Grand Moff Volrath: Come on that wouldn't be very sporting.
Admiral Nalfien: We're villian. We aren't supposed to be sporting. We need to eliminate this threat.
Grand Moff Volrath: First off I would never actually kill Terra. She is just too lovable. The next thing you must remember is that no one can destroy the Death Star.
Admiral Nalfien: It's been done before. Look at these DVDs we got off Elminster. Those Death Stars use the exact same design as our's.
Grand Moff Volrath: Great Scott! You're right it is the same. We have major change in order.
Admiral Nalfien: Thank God.
Grand Moff Volrath: This place needs heaters. It will get cold out in space.
Admiral Nalfien: :headexplo
Kaizer_Ryu

06-06-06, 01:09 AM		OOC: I was under the impression that the Death Star was the FF II, since it has the Mi-go Cannon. I thought the Rebel base was the FF I because it was more beat-up looking. We also need a fish monster type character to be Admiral Akbar who wants to run away as soon as the battle starts.

OOOOOOOOO! Melvin the Allergic Aboleth!

Melvin: IT'S A TRAP!

Satnak: Not yet, idiot!

Melvin: Can I go then? This uniform is giving me a rash...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-06-06, 02:30 AM		Erk, Roosevelt (in an R2 unit he built), and Jam (in gold plating) sit around a holo projection of a chess game. Terra watches them as the sounds of Kithle training Satnak in The Force are heard in the background.

Erk: (having just lost one of his pieces) RAAAAAAAARGH!!!!

Jam: What? He made a fair move. Screaming about it won't help you.

Roosevelt: *beep* *whisle* *woop* (i.h.h: I'm seriously going to kill someone for this :mad: )

Terra: I dunno. It's not wise to upset a Minotaur.

Jam: But, ma'am. No one worries about upsetting a 'droid...

Terra: That's because 'droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. (Erk leans back smugly) Minotaur's are known to do that.

Jam: I see your point, ma'am. I suggets a new strategy, R2. Let the Minotaur win.
rampant

06-06-06, 04:18 AM		Satnak - The last time i saw a minotaur pull someone's arms out for that was, when the little snot made a crack about the parents of the Mino' as part of the after game exchange. I held the brat still. :D

Terra - :uh-huh:

Kithle - :uh-huh: ooof (Satnak cheap shots him) here's a blast helmet and a training droid, keep the viser down. Gorram ribs always breaking on me dammit! (crawls to a corner and starts healing his ribs)

Satnak - helmet ,check .... droid, active .... Viser, down...

Droids fires

Satnak deflects with a x3 multiplier and a splitter

Terra - Ow watch it!! :mad:

Kithle - Dammit my eye!! :mad:

Droid gets smacked into Erk's head by Satnaks backswing.

Erk - AaruAwWWGH

Nalf/C3 - Aaaah shrapnel

Roosevelt/r2 - beep boo beep (what hit me?)

------------------
OOC - I warned you about trying to train Satnak. :D She fights in a whole different league. When was the last time you saw a jedi kidney kick someone?
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-06-06, 08:00 AM		OOcat: Wait, wait, I'm confused, who who's Vader and who the Emperor?

Silver: We only contracted d'Vol because she's old and wants to take over the world. Plus she's got power.

Crow: She could be Dooku.

OOcat: So how many movies are we going to parody?

Silver: No, no, we'll just make her Sr.'s stunt man. We'll just write in another lightsaber fight.

OOcat: Wait! I'm thinking we could find a Mace Windu easily.

Crow: Well, NJ26 is already a clone, so it ties in to the Boba Fett thing.

Silver: General Grevious will be easy, since practically every member of this crew is slimy and cowardly.

Satnak: Stick to Episodes IV and VI before I trap you inside 2001!

OOcat: :mymy: :eek: Yes ma'am!

Crow: Well, we'll leave most of the V and VI parts out, since both Darths aren't Satnak's father. Let's not go the Return battle route, since Roosevelt is already tied up and Lisa is on the Death Star.

Silver: Let's clarify the roles:
Darth Jarlot: Admiral Jarlot (maybe, maybe not)
Apprentice 1: Captain Jarlot
Tarkin: Volrath
Leia: Lisa
Han: Terra
Luke: Satnak
Obi-Wan: Kithle
Yoda: Martha Greyholm
Emperor stunt double: Erandis D'Vol
Chewbacca: Erk
R2-D2: Roosevelt
C-3PO: Jam
That still leaves Norbaz.

Crow: If we really need to we'll make him Lando. Chilli mining city. Why else would you need flash freezing?
Chrys

06-06-06, 08:52 AM		Elsewhere Aerith, Neo-Tifa, P/Y/R and Beryl are dressed up in slave outfits.

Aerith: This is revoting I didn't up for this when they said 'folk dancers'... I thought it would be hoop skirts and Tanborines!

P/Y/R: Oh shut up! it's fine once the metal warms up to body temp...I wonder if they let me keep it. Mom Will you stop trying to strangle Tifa with the slave chains!

Beryl: Not until she stops moving...

Aerith: You know she is and outsider like us now SO SHE DOESN"T NEED TO BREATH! :banghead:

Beryl: I know But this is still fun! :P

A portal opens and a Large slimy psudopod smacks Squishie in to another room.

Aerith: What the...?

Beryl: Oh I said Juiblex could be Jabba the Hut... I think he is better the that little spider thing

Juiblex: : Shoooopedk mubk poo [ Hey Beryl, does the party start after this?]

Aerith: What In the NINE HELL IS JUBLEX DOING HERE!? :headexplo

P/Y/R: He here for the DAY of the BEAST party we are having, duh.

Neo-Tifa: Whoo Party * Gahhh * [choked more by Beryl]

Juiblex: Shull gullger google poo [ So if I'm Jabba do I get to kiss Lisa?]

Beryl: No I'm trying to stay on Terra's good side, you can do what ever to Aerith.

Aerith: :eek: :yuck:

Juiblex: :dancin: :inlove: * Grabs the solor *

P/Y/R: You know Slime love is the purest from of loven' there is.
urial angel of death

06-06-06, 09:26 AM		Squishy: Shoot, now I've been demoted to one of the spider-thing doorguards in Jabba's Palace.
Grand Moff Volrath: You look a lot like them. The only thing you had for Jabba was love of owning slaves.
Squishy: Why are you here, in Jabba Palace?
Grand Moff Volrath: Well, I... I don't know.
Chrys

06-06-06, 09:42 AM		P/Y/R: To see me in a chain mail panties of course... Now GET BACK IN THE CAKE!
Charles Phipps

06-06-06, 09:44 AM		Aerith: Whoo.

*puts down the flame thrower*

P/Y/R: Holy crap.

Aerith: AND THAT is why only one man gets to touch me.

P/Y/R: Next time we should check the BOVD and weigh the CR against Solar Devas.....

Jarlot: Alright, I'm here to rescue you.

*wears Han's pants and carries blaster*

Aerith: You're Vader, not Han.

Jarlot: Damnit! WHO ELSE could be Han?! I'm the fricking Captain!

Aerith: Terra is Han.

Jarlot: You can't have a FEMALE HAN! He's Harrison Ford! The guy everyone DREAMS of playing him!

Aerith: What about Chuck Norris?

Jarlot: Except Chuck Norris.

P/Y/R: OOooooo.

Jarlot: I liked you all better when you were seperate to be honest. Therefore, I'm introducing a problem to deal with your mischief since apparently tormenting Aerith is enough to be a problem for you.

Titus: HEYA!

P/Y/R: AHHHHH!

Jarlot: That should deal with them.

Aerith: What if they kill him?

Jarlot: It's Titus. I don't really care.
Phantomcrossing

06-06-06, 10:01 AM		Norbaz sits reading a script in a chair.

Norbaz: So they want me to be lando...then who do we get to play Lobot?

Stupid walks over with his mouth duct taped shut.

Norbaz: okay that works. Good luck being Vader and fighting Satnak, Captain. Captain?

Emperor Admiral Jarlot: Where'd that wipper snapper go?

Grand Moff Volrath: Um...Jubiliex's Jabba palace?

Norbaz: Later, I'm off for Chilli City.

Meanwhile....

Michael: Wait, does anyone know whose playing Bobba Fet?

Lisa: Why in the flame are you in my cell?

Michael: That's a very good question, Admiral Jarlot casted me as the interrogation droid.

Lisa: You wouldn't.
Chrys

06-06-06, 10:13 AM		Jarlot: It's Titus. I don't really care.

True enough; :schemes: Now I get to kill him!
Kaizer_Ryu

06-06-06, 10:41 AM		*KWAZAP*

Michael: Ugh! *collapses*

Terra: (wielding a blaster set for stun) Damn right, you wouldn't.

Lisa: Isn't Luke supposed to save Leia?

Terra: Yeah, but this parody isn't exactly sticking to the script.

Satnak: C'mon, you two! We gotta go!

Erk: RAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

Lisa: So I assume Kithle's off deactivating the tractor beam?

Terra: That, and he's going for Darth Jarlot.

Satnak: You two get back to the Falcon, I'm going for Emperor Admiral Jarlot Sr.

OOC: There. Now they've infiltrated the Deathstar and are poised to take them down. Do what you wish.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-06-06, 10:55 AM		OOC: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Greatest. Star Wars. Parody. Ever!
IC: Silver and Crow are sitting in a movie theater with "Dumb Wars: Return of the Comedy" playing on the screen. 13 comes in and sits down beside them.

Silver: Popcorn?

13: So are we done with all this?

Silver: I thought you were off helping Darth Jarlot.

13: That was only when I thought we were going to have East-Asian style Jedi. I've got no problem with Kithle.

Silver: There's nothing more we can do. Everyone's in character, they're already on the Death Star. We're probably going to cut out Chilli City and Jubilex's palace.

Crow: Jubilex is dead. Aerith killed him.

Mr. T: Good, cause I don't want to be no rancor.

13: Terra would have to be frozen in—

Silver: We found out that nothing could freeze Norbaz's chilli. Scrapping that line.

Crow: We did manage to get the Squirrel Civilization to be Ewoks.

13: Aren't you worried about scarring some young kid's mind?

Crow: So basically we're sticking to inside the Death Star.

Silver: The Millenium Falcon scenes didn't go so well I'd say.

Crow: But so far they've managed to rescue the princess. Now Satnak just needs to charge a bunch of stormtroopers while Lisa kisses Terra.

Silver: :doh: We never cast stormtroopers!

13: Meh, just use Crystals. The stormtroopers were clones back in II and III, it works out.
Phantomcrossing

06-06-06, 11:25 AM		Crystal Trooper 5: Like, Oh my god, these white armor suites are soooo cute!

Crystal Trooper 326: I know! Oh, but it covers my hair.

Crystal Trooper 72: Like, don't worry, it totally works.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-06-06, 11:26 AM		OOC: Yeah, we did. They're the leftovers from the Kanatash II/Smith scene. But it will make killing them that much sweeter. :devil:
Chrys

06-06-06, 01:57 PM		P/Y/R is running away from Titus. When another Portal opens up and Orcus walks through

P/Y/R: Hey Uncle Orcus, I brought you a gift.

Titus: Heya [Much like pokemon Titus can only say Heya]

Orcus: Mmm-boy he sure be pwetty, I’sza going make him squeal like a pig!

Titus: Hey…ya?

Orcus: Com’mre boy! *paws at Titus * you sure do smell like mash taters; I like taters uh-ha!

Beryl: Damn that’s evil, I’m so proud of you.

Juiblex: Spliddle spoooch [He might be the most annoy person every but I don’t think any need to be Orcus’ piggy]

P/Y/R: Aren’t you supposed to be dead?

Beryl: Don’t be silly he is a demon, we are immune to fire.
Crystalforged

06-06-06, 03:00 PM		OOC: Alrightly then, I suppose it's time to wrap this up. This little plot took off a lot more than I expected but I suppose all good things come to an end. Now however you are about to witness a truly evil act, interestingly appropriate considering the date (6/6/06). Also, just in case any of you are wondering after reading this, yes I had this little turn of events planed from the beginning. :evillaugh



IC: Kithle, Satnak, Terra, and Lisa are running through the halls of the death star in an attempt to escape back to the millenium falcon. Along the way Satnak vaporizes several battalions of crystal troopers without breaking stride.

Satnak: You'd think they would realize the troopers weren't working after I took down the third regiment in as many minutes.

Terra: Never complain about the incompetence of your opponent. Movie clique states that if you do they're probaly going to reveal they weren't as stupid as you thought they were.

Three figures appear in the shadows in front of the group, Darth Jarlot, Jarlot, and Emperor Admiral Jarlot Senior.

Darth Jarlot: Your observation would be correct.

Kithle: Ok, now who is supposed to fight who here. I'm Obi-Wan so I'm supposed to fight Darth, but you're Luke so you're supposed to fight him too...

Satnak: Screw the parody. Kithle, you take senior, Terra and Lisa the captain is all yours, I want a piece of Darth.

Kithle approaches Emperor Admiral Jarlot Senior with his lightsaber drawn.

Emperor Admiral Jarlot Senior: Just a moment there whipper snapper. Stunt Double! (Erandis drops from the ceiling) There we go, I'm going to go find myself some of the wenches my son hasn't been able to keep satisfied. I told him you have to take care of them or they start causing trouble like this.

Jarlot: SHUT UP, YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!

Erandis and Kithle engage in a lightsaber battle so epic and amazing that it surpasses any seen before in any star wars film. It doesn't really defy words but it's still not going to be described here, because I'm lazy.

Meanwhile Jarlot is being savagely beaten with blunt objects by Terra and Lisa after being disarmed within moments of the start of combat.

While all this happens around them Satnak and Darth Jarlot square off.

Satnak: I never liked you alternate Jarlot and now I'm going to take you apart like I took apart all your predecessors.

Darth Jarlot: Who said I was an alternate.

Satnak: If you aren't an alternate, what are you?

Darth Jarlot: Oh you'll see...

Both draw lightsabers and meet in a flash of force powers. The battle continues for several minutes with Satnak being force back by Darth Jarlot's greater skill with the lightsaber.

Satnak: Alright, I'm sick of this. (tosses her lightsaber aside) UBER-ZORCH!!!!!

Satnak punches Darth Jarlot in the kidney, driving a fist sized hole completely through him so light comes through from the other side. Darth Jarlot crumples to the floor and Jarlot breaks free from Terra and Lisa to rush to his side.

Jarlot: FATHER!

Darth Jarlot: (wheeze) Son, before I die, I want you to see my true face.

Jarlot: No you can’t die father!

Darth Jarlot: Please, remove my helmet.

Jarlot does as he is asked revealing a shriveled and wrinkled face similar to his own.

Darth Jarlot: Now son I must tell you something before I pass away, lean in closer (Jarlot holds his ear next to Darth Jarlot’s face) YOU BEEN PUNK’D B****!

Jarlot: (falling over) What the ****!

Darth Jarlot’s face blurs and changes to reveal Kanatash’s visage staring forth from the suit. Kanatash steps out of the suit.

Jarlot: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY FATHER!

Kanatash: Nothing. Darth Jarlot was never you father because there never was a Darth Jarlot. It was me in that suit from the beginning. Your father is that, as you put it, “senile old son of a *****,” that just went off looking for wenches. I even had Caralot run paternity tests to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. (hands him some sheets of paper)

Jarlot: But you… we… I…

Kanatash: Yes, all of this was an elaborate prank to built up all your hopes, ruling the world, finding out senior isn’t your father, becoming a legendary, before suddenly and brutally crushing them as I’m doing right now.

Jarlot: I’m going to-

Kanatash : Yes, we can get to the horrific punishments later, I need to gloat a little longer first. (knocks Jarlot unconscious with a psionic blast)

Terra: You kidnapped Lisa!

Kanatash: Actually that was all Jarlot. I actually did very little in this little scheme, I just gave the fool enough rope to hang himself with, which he did handily.

Lisa: What about planning to blow up Thrane then?

Kanatash: Oh, I didn’t plan to let him go through with that. Sure, maybe Aurundir, but not Thrane. I wouldn’t want to ruin the wedding.

Terra: Humph. You ruined our day at the spa too.

Kanatash: Well if that’s what you’re mad about here. (produces three small slips of paper)

Terra: (taking the slips and gasping) These are passes to the most exclusive spa in Khorvair! The waiting list is over five years to get these!

Kanatash: Yes, well the proprietor also happens to be the head of one of my cults.

Terra: (raising an eyebrow)

Kanatash: Don’t worry, the business side of things is completely legit, he just has some “interesting” hobbies in the off hours. Also as a plus, as friends to his god you can expect treatment above and beyond a normal guest. He could also probably help with the catering for the wedding if you wish.

Terra: Well then, I suppose no harm no foul. Let’s go girls.

---

Later after everyone else has left, Jarlot finally comes around.

Jarlot: (darkly) There will be Kyber to pay for this.
rampant

06-06-06, 03:07 PM		Erandis - Can we stop now?

Kithle - No I'm enjoying this.

Erandis - No fair you have 6 lightsabers, I thought we weren't doing grievous.
urial angel of death

06-06-06, 03:24 PM		Admiral Nalfien: What do ya want to do now?
Grand Moff Volrath: We could help the emperor's stunt double against Kithle, or we could go check out the slaves in Jabba's Palace. :drool:
Admiral Nalfien: Do you really have to ask?
*Both take off for the Palace*
rampant

06-06-06, 04:36 PM		Melvin - ITS A TRAP!

Micheal - Its over you numbskull.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-06-06, 07:51 PM		OOC: Since we did such a good job with Star Wars……:shifty:
IC:
Jarlot: Space…the…final frontier.…These…are…the voyages…of the spelljammer…Forgotten Freedom.…Her continuing mission…to explore strange…new worlds…to seek out…new forms…of life…and new…civilizations…to boldly go…where no sane person…would ever think of going.

(Cut scenes: )

Kithle: These pointed ears are highly illogical.

Andrea: Dammit, Jim, I’m a necromancer not a doctor!

Ketler: I canna do it, cap’n. I’m just not Scottish enough.

Terra: Captain, the Valenar have us in their tractor beam.

13: Captain, we’re receiving a distress call from an obvious plot device.

Slip: So can I go warp 10 or not?

Marish: Why am I covered in green?

Random Redshirt: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! I’m wearing red—(pause) oh, right.

Warforged: We are the warforged. Your information shall be assimilated into our collective. Resistance is futile.

Oocat: Classic theme here.

Warforged: Sorry.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-06-06, 10:22 PM		Terra stands on the deck of the FF I as two birds land nearby.

Terra: I was wondering when you'd get here.

The birds morph into a female elf and gnome.

Gnome: You're so impatient.

Elf: I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Lilly Graymorn
NG Female Elf
Druid 17

The mother of Faena Graymorn, the recently deceased governor of the Wardens sect of the Eldeen Reaches Druids, she is now the defacto voice of the group. The Great Druid Oalian (N awakened greatpine Druid 20) directs the Wardens through her. She has known Terra since she came to live with Gaia, even taking her in for a while after her mother's death. A kind woman, she carries herself with a demeanor that only comes with great age and wisdom. Never the less, she doesn't look much older than Terra. Her Druidic power has stopped her body from withering with age.

Feralyn Wolf-Tail
NG Female Gnome
Ranger 7/Eldeen Ranger 3

The head of a group of Rangers charged with protecting the Reaches from poachers and bandits. As a Ranger, she reports directly to Lilly. She has also known Terra for many years, taking her on trips throughout the Reaches. Terra's facination with plantlife seems to at least partially stem from the creatures Feralyn showed to her in the depths of the forest. Though she disagrees with Terra's methods, she is grateful for her aid in curbing the poachers.

Lilly: *gives Terra a big hug, pulls back and looks her over* Oh, look at you! The little troublemaker is all grown up!

Terra: *smiling* It's wonderful to see you again. *turns to Feralyn* How've you been?

Feralyn: Not too bad. I've had my hands full lately. Some upstarts from Aundair are clamoring to retake the Reaches and are making raids.

Terra: *rolls her eyes* Again?

Lilly: Yes. But lets not talk about that now. Where's your fiancee? I'm so eager to meet her.

Terra: She'll be here in a moment.

Lisa: *arriving on deck* You called?

Terra: I have a few people I'd like you to meet. Lilly and Feralyn.

Lilly: *smiling softly* So, you're the young lady who stole her heart?

Lisa: :blush: W-well...I guess you could put it that way.

Lilly: *taking her hand* Such a beautiful young lady. And a warm spirit to match.

Terra: *teasing* Come on, now. You're embarassing her.

Lilly: I'm just telling it like it is.

Feralyn: Bluntly as always. But it is nice to meet you.

Lisa: You too. I'd love to stay and talk some more, but Igor's fine tuning my dress. Can we talk more at dinner?

Lilly: Go on, dear. Don't let us keep you.

Lisa smiles and heads back down as Lilly turns to Terra.

Lilly: My, my, my. I never thought I'd live to see it again.

Terra: What?

Lilly: That sparkle in your eye. You became so cold after what happened to your mother.

Terra: :blush: I...just can't help but feel happy around her.

Feralyn: Well that's an understatement if I ever heard one! You're practically beaming!

Terra: Is it that obvious?

Lilly: Probably only to us. The difference from when we last saw you is so striking.

Terra: :D I'll take that as a compliment. Follow me. I'll show you around before we catch up.

OOC: This is the first of the arrivals. I'll let you know when I'm ready to move forward.
urial angel of death

06-06-06, 10:53 PM		A goblin appears in Volrath's room. The goblin looks very young and is wearing deep red robes. Decorating the robes are various myhtos symbols. They almost seem to move independently from the cloak itself.
Volrath: Gland you could make it. After your years of service, even to the point of death, you earned the right to be here. Your seat will be in the third row second from the left.
goblin: It has always been an honor and a pleasure to serve. Should any of you ever desire to return, you will find the legions battle-ready and awaiting your commands.
Volrath: Go on deck I'm sure Muradin and Terra will be gland to see you.

OOC: Kaizer and Rei, yes that is the goblin you think it is. If you want to keep the old name or change it is up to you guys. :D
Kaizer_Ryu

06-06-06, 11:26 PM		OOC: Yeah, I think we'll keep it. :D

IC:

(at dinner, Terra, Lisa, Lilly, and Feralyn sit eating)

Terra: I see you still have the amulet.

Feralyn: Oh, yeah. It's been a great help.

Lisa: What's it do?

Feralyn: I gives me the ability to Wild Shape like a Druid. Lord Oalian gave it to me during the Last War.

At this time, the red robed goblin walks in and heads over to Terra.

Goblin: Good to see you again, miss.

Terra: By the- Red Cloak! I haven't seen you in...how long is it now?

Red Cloak: It's been twenty years, ma'am. Master Volrath summoned me back for your wedding.

Lisa: Who's this?

Terra: This is Red Cloak. He was the leader of our troops when I was travelling with Volrath.

Lilly: Troops?

Terra: Yeah. This was when we were just starting out, before my network was set up. In fact, I owe him much in getting where I am today.

Red Cloak: I served all of you out of my own free will. You treated me and my brethren as fellows instead of cannon fodder, so it was the least I could do.

Terra: Still, I'm happy to see you. Muradin should be around here somewhere. Just be careful.

Red Cloak: The Hug of Death? Yeah, I'll be careful.

EDIT: I just remembered I haven't said what Feralyn's favored enemys are, in case it matters: Humans, Orcs, and Gnolls, as they are the more common poachers in the region.
rampant

06-06-06, 11:46 PM		Satnak - Hey Guys who are the noobies?

Lily & Feralyn - :confused:

Terra - They aren't crew their just some family here for the wedding. Satnak this is Lily and Feralyn of the Wardens. Lily, Feralyn this is Satnak... how do I put this? You remember all that chaos and shaking and gods screaming bloody murder recently?

Lily - Yeesssss... :confused:

Lisa - Its pretty much her fault.

Satnak - :D

Feralyn - :eek:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-07-06, 12:10 AM		Satnak: *looking down* Who's the pipsqueak?

Red Cloak: :mad: The name's Red Cloak, not pipsqueak...

Terra: He's an old friend from my early adventuring days. If you're ever in Droaam, you might come across a rather large Goblin town near the sea on the southern border.

Red Cloak: That's my home. Well...was my home, until I died.

Satnak: :confused: ...Volrath has something to do with this doesn't he?

Red Cloak: Yes. Master Volrath has arranged for me to return in this body for a while.

Terra: Red Cloak was our most gifted Commander. It was a shame to let him go, but he wanted to give the Goblins a place to go as an escape from the oppression of the other races in the area.

Red Cloak: We fought off many attackers in the early days, but they have since come to live in relative peace. I hear they've begun trading with other towns.
urial angel of death

06-07-06, 12:54 AM		A woman in her thirties, with dead pale skin and pick eyes, enters the room. Volrath gets to greet her. He hugs her and softly kisses her on the cheek. She then walks over to Terra.
woman (whispering) : Congratulations.
She then takes a seat one of the room's shadowy corners.
Lisa: Whos was that?
Terra: Volrath's sister.
Lisa: She didn't look that old in your memories.
Terra: That was almost fifty years ago. Unlike Volrath she's already lost almost everything that ties her to this plane. They age as they become more and more detached from reality.
Lisa: But wasn't she in the most heavily guarded asylum in Eberron? How did she get out?
Volrath: I sent her a pencil. :D
rampant

06-07-06, 01:09 AM		Satnak - She used a pencil? I thought you used ribs for that kind of escape. :confused: Someone explain how that works without opening a chest cavity.

Feralyn - (backs away slowly)
urial angel of death

06-07-06, 01:19 AM		Volrath: You can't very well use ribs if only constructs are willing to guard you. While something sharper would have been ideal, I didn't want the guards to catch on.
rampant

06-07-06, 01:34 AM		Satnak - Gaurds :confused: , When I said open a chest cavity I meant open yourself up and remove the modified Frostfell army rib. Oh wait you guys probably never heard of those.

Lisa - :uh-huh:

Terra - This is hardly the appropriate place to discuss your modified anatomy.

Volrath - Tell me more.

Lily - (whispering to Terra) Is it safe to let her wander around the ship like this?

Terra - (whispering back) Not at all, but no one is willing to argue with her... She nearly sunk this whole realm into the crapper just to get rid of a rogue time-traveller. She beats down deific beings for entertainment. Angels and demons fear her presecence above all things. I've seen her shatter cities with a single strike. Her skill and control will rip asunder the energy networks of those few who can muster more brute power. To top it off she is just being polite when she doesn't mention this exchange, because I know from experience she can hear us just fine.

Lily - :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
rampant

06-07-06, 01:43 AM		How did I manage to double post? Sry
urial angel of death

06-07-06, 01:59 AM		Volrath: What if your body does not contain ribs?
Satnak: She doesn't have ribs? :uh-huh:
Volrath: Oh she has them. I was just asking what if? :D
Kaizer_Ryu

06-07-06, 02:31 AM		Satnak and Volrath continue their conversation on the finer points of rib extraction as the other four of them return to the conversation.

Lilly: One thing that's been bothering me. Why are your eyes yellow instead of green?

Terra: That's a long story. You probably wouldn't believe me anyway.

Feralyn: Try us.

Terra: (telepathically) Ok. :devil:

Lilly & Feralyn: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Feralyn: When did you become Psionic?!

Lilly: (shaking her head) Ugh. Too many surprises in a half an hour. I think my brain just froze.

Lisa: Maybe this should wait until tomorrow. It is rather involved, and you two look like you could use some rest.

(later, after they have set Lilly and Feralyn up in guest rooms)

Lisa: Why has it been so long since you saw them? You seem to get along great...

Terra: Well, I'm a bit of a black sheep as far as the Wardens are concerned.

Lisa: How so?

Terra: For one, I associate with Abberations. Even my companion animal is one. Big no-no under normal conditions. I work inside the biggest hub of civilization in Khorvaire, nearly unheard of. I use my powers in ways deemed inappropriate by most of the sect. That's just naming a few.

Lisa: So you distanced yourself to avoid causing them problems?

Terra: Something like that. I also felt that we were too constrained just sitting in the Reaches, unable to effect events elsewhere - like poaching. Feralyn works to stem the flow, I cut off its source.

Lisa: And they disagreed with this?

Terra: Not really. There are times when I wonder if they might have come with me if they could have. But they had their paths to follow, and I had mine. It just happened that they would take us in different directions.

Lisa: *sigh* There you go again, brooding on the past. *grabs her arm* Come on. I have something I want to try with you.

Terra: *being dragged along* What?

Lisa: You'll see. ;)

OOC: I just found that I've started three pages in a row now. That's gotta be some kind of record. Do I get a cookie if I hit five? :D ;)
rampant

06-07-06, 02:46 AM		On the way to the guest rooms.

Lily - Well?

Feralyn - She really seems happy for the first time in a long while, and I have no reservations about Lisa, but her friend...

Lily - I didn't think you had a problem with Volrath?

Feralyn - No, Satnak, what did you think of her, what did your magic say?

Lily - My spells told me she wasn't there.

Feralyn - An Illusion?

Lily - No, she just didn't register under any of my detection spells. I'm willing to bet even my best divinations simply wont show her. She seems completely out of sync with the normal flow of energy in Eberron.

Feralyn - I couldn't detect any ill intent, whether she is simply as adept a deciever as Terra claims she is a magus, or simply uninterested in harming us i cannot say.

Lily - I would like to talk to Terra about her, she scares me, but according to Terra her senses are very acute so I couldn't say anything at the time.

Feralyn - Do you believe her claims of this woman's power then?

Lily - I think that Terra speaks the truth. You have felt the world shuddering as well.

Feralyn - Its been doing that since the Forgotten Freedom began its rain of madness.

Lily - True, but still... I can't shake this feeling of impending doom.

------------------------
OOC : I don't want to hijack your storyline or anything, its just This is the first time Satnak has really interacted with normal denizens of this Plane and its just too tempting to play with their heads. :D
If krozan shows he's gonna need spare robes :schemes:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-07-06, 03:01 AM		OOC: Oh, I don't mind. I just kind of figured the "impending doom" was simply a byproduct of being on the ship. The rest of the characters ignore it, kind of like constant background noise. And I get first dibs on Krozan. I'll start messing with him by tomorrow. :plotting: :evillaugh

And here's what Lisa had in mind. I blame George Lucas for this. :D

IC:

Inside their private pocket dimension, Lisa sits on a throne holding a chain. On the end of it is Terra, dressed in the slave girl outfit from Jedi.

Terra: I think I like this idea. :devil:

Lisa: You are not to speak unless spoken to, slave! ;)

Terra: Yes, Mistress. Sorry, Mistress. :bow: *begins dancing*

OOC: I couldn't help it. Though, even if I could, I probably would have done it anyway. :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-07-06, 07:44 AM		There is a knock on Lily and Feralyn's guest door.

Lily: Yes?

13: Mail.

Lily and Feralyn: :confused:

13 enters. He plops a bunch of envelopes and one small package on the table.

13: You've got mail. Mostly bills and soul-charging adds, but one or two letters from family.

Lily: How? I mean we just got here.…I don't even have a permanent address.

Feralyn: :eek: This letter is from during the Last War! This guy was killed when Aundairian soldiers took the town.

13: Yeah. Do to the chaos inherant in this ship and my own time-traveling powers we get all the dead mail—dead as in it got destroyed.

Feralyn: Well, this letter does look a bit burnt.

Lily: So you're the rogue time-traveler? You don't look all that dangerous.

13: Don't let the fox form fool you. I'm really a progenitor dragon. Nowadays I time-travel just to play pranks on people. Well, I've got to go, Igor needs me to deliver some special-order thread.
*****
13 hands over the package of thread to a tiny grey feline.

Terra and Lisa are examining Igor's work on the wedding clothes.

Lisa: Kind of surprises me that someone who wears such pachwork as yours, Igor, knows so much about sewing.

Igor: When you work for ath many mathterth ath I have, you quickly learn that they rarely know how to fixth their own clotheth. That, pluth the varying body thructure, how often they get wounded from their own exthperimentth, and patching minionth back together giveth one a marvelouth educathion in the fine art of cloth-craft.

Terra: Igor designed all my more splendid outfits for appearances as a crime lord.

Greyfeline: :D (hands over the package)

Terra: Who's this?

Igor: Hith nameth greyfeline, mith. He advertitheth in the paperth ath thomething called a "thpecthialitht", with particular thkill in creathion.

Greyfeline goes over to a pile of fabric, and in no time has created a security tux complete with maching sunglasses, all sized and cut for one of the half-dragons

Greyfeline: :mage:

Terra and Lisa: :blink:

Terra: Well, I'd better go see how the furnishings are coming along.

Lisa: I'll go and check on Erk's progress.

Terra: You just want to sample some more of those minicakes.

Lisa: :embarrass
*****
Terra walks in to Roosevelt's workshop to find him and Allen pouring over the altar designs.

Terra: How are things coming?

Roosevelt: Well, after we tied up Ketler so he couldn't design a Jaela trap, we had to go out and find some of that darkwood you wanted……

As Roosevelt is giving her the status report Terra can't help but notice the grey feline tail sticking out from under one of the ornately carved pews.

Terra (pointing): Who's that?

Roosevelt: Eh? Oh, that's Greyfeline. Since we needed someone extra after Ketler proved to be a moron I hired him out of the paper. Says he's a "specialist" and in particular is good at creation. He's done all the carving you see on everything.

Terra looks around at the intricate scenes on everything. Many of them are of her and Lisa, and the detail is to die for.

Terra: But…he's with Igor… :confused:

Allen: Was there anything else?

Terra: Ah……well yes……we need some place for animals……
******
Lisa stops in at Tony's kitchen (Tony the Tiger is the bar's cook) and stares at the large cloud of flour swirling around the big cake.

Erk: Oh, you're here. Just stay out of Greyfeline's way, and no more sampling.

Lisa: Wow, he's fast.

Erk: I'll say. I just hired him recently, and already he's managed to interpret Terra's plans into a menu. But I guess a specialist in creation is good at that.

Tony the Tiger: It's GRRRRRRRRREAT work!

Lisa: No, I meant I just saw him in Igor's workshop…
******
OOC: No touching this character. Unless you're nice.
Chrys

06-07-06, 10:06 AM		P/Y/R: Wow that was a hell of a party!

Demogorgon [Head 1]: Surely My dear you mean it was an Abyss of a party. * Take a sip of his martini *

Demogorgon [Head 2]: * takes his head out of the Keg and gives loud bleach. * I case your wondering that’s high brow humor.

Demogorgon [Head 1]: Well Excuse me for a having a more refined since of humor, then Fart and Stoner jokes!

* * *

Zuggtmoy: Well this was a gas! We will have to do it again some time.

Beryl: Sure, may be next time I’ll invite the Demon lords from This plane too… or may be even the Lords of the nine, we could challenge them to some party games. Next Time a Roast a couple of dragons.

Zuggtmoy: Speaking of Invites, I’m shocked Graz'zt and Lloth didn’t show up nor didn’t you invite them?

Beryl: Oh I invited them, I just up the wrong address on there invites… because I don’t like them.

* * *
Meanwheile in the 7th Heaven

Lloth: I think we have been had!

Graz'zt: * give a sad blow on a party favor as he takes off a jester hat. *

Random Archon: What ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE!


OoChrys: Oh I'm think of make the othe Demon lords 'red shirts' [Insted of the Chibis ] anyone have a problem with that?
urial angel of death

06-07-06, 10:56 AM		OOC: That was mean to the poor demon lord and lady. :weep:

but still funny
rampant

06-07-06, 02:43 PM		Satnak is trying to stave off depression by looking through the forbidden techniques list:

Satnak - Designed it, Ungraded it, survived it, seen it, used it, designed it, what do have here? :schemes:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-07-06, 05:39 PM		Terra and Lisa have just finished their explaination of what has happened since she left. Lilly and Feralyn look dazed.

Lilly: That's quite a lot to take in...

Feralyn: Demon Lords, Quori, C'tan...it's more than a little overwhelming.

Terra: Tell me about it. I lived it, and even I have trouble believing I'm still alive.

Lilly: Still, news of your heritage confirms my suspicions about you.

Lisa: What do you mean?

Lilly: Terra was never easy to read, even as a child. She was unpredictable, extremely gifted, kind, and possessed an ambition rarely seen in elves. But, I could also see a darkness in her aura. A black cloud hovering about her, threatening to consume her should it truly manifest.

Terra: Really? Why didn't you tell me?

Lilly: What could I tell you? I had no idea what it meant, or what you could do about it.

Feralyn: Your reaction to the creatures from the deep woods always gave me pause. Things that would make most children recoil in fear, and many adults for that matter, you were facinated with.

Lisa: Could it have been because Theronas altered her genetic structure?

Lilly: That's how I see it. Unnatural things are more familiar from a latent genetic memory. She doesn't have true Demonic heratige, but she has gained the effects of such.

Terra: And have embraced them. I'm not about to let such power go to waste, regardless of where it came from.

Feralyn: That part of you hasn't changed either. Always looking for a potential advantage.

Lisa: But without sacrificing who you are. One of the things I love about you so much.

Terra: :blush: :D
rampant

06-07-06, 06:33 PM		Lily - On a more serious note, I must bring up my concerns about Satnak.

Lisa - What aabout Satnak? she's wierd, but aside from that?

Feralyn - We are concerned about your safety living on a ship with someone so...

Terra - Unpredictable.

Feralyn - I was gonna say dangerous. The way I see it either she has monstrous power previously unseen upon our realm, or she is a trickster of the grandest scale.

Lisa - Again I don't get the problem.

Terra - You can't read her very well, and you fear her potencial.

Feralyn - ... Yes

Lily - Even my best magic reveals nothing about her.

Terra - She was born, raised, and trained in alternate eberron, one from what description she has given us, is much more reliant upon psionic disciplines, fiercely competitive, and still in the THroes of war. She belongs to the most powerful faction lead by immensely powerful individuals known as the Serpent of Forbidden Wrath, and the Dreadknaught of Heaven's Tears. She herself is on her way to becoming a third such titan under the title of the Breaker Prime. Her power is immense and focused around breaking and inverting the energy of others. She has access to techniques and secrets that would shatter the souls of most denizens of this realm. She is quite probably the greatest single force in this multiverse.

Feralyn - :eek:

Lily - All the more reason to be concerned!

Lisa - Oh... Your worried she might hurt us.

Feralyn - WELL DUH!!!

Lisa - :rofl: She's one of our best friends, I can't even count the number of times she has saved our hides.

Terra - Satnak and I got off to a rough start, so I can understand why your concerned. She is scary beyond all reason. She is a slightly unstable young woman (barely more than a girl) with more power and training at her command that any army, and no problems what-so-ever with causing death and destruction on an epic scale.

Feralyn - Yes what happens when someone breaks up with her or something?

Lisa - :eek: Bad timing.

Lily - :confused:

Terra - She just got turned down by someone she had been harboring feelings for for almost a decade.

Lily - Ollian's Beard we're all gonna die!

Lisa - Actually she's been rather mature about the whole thing. We really ought to make sure shes not just internalizing it. Make sure she doesn't do anything drastic.

Dun dun daaaaa

Lily - What was that?

Terra - Devon, where can i get a brick.
urial angel of death

06-07-06, 06:52 PM		Volrath is in the kitchen chopping up Redshirts. Nalfien walks in only to be sprayed with blood.
Nalfien: What are you doing?
Volrath: Making "white pork". Terra said I could as long as I left out the sauce.
Nalfien: Why would you want the "sauce".
Volrath: It adds quite a bit of sweetness.
Nalfien: *shudder*
Kaizer_Ryu

06-07-06, 09:06 PM		(on a tour of the ship, the betrothed intoduce their guests to some of the more interesting members of the crew)

Terra: Lilly. Feralyn. I'd like you to meet Kithle.

Kithle: Hi.

Lilly: You know, anywhere else I'd be quite surprised to see an Illithid. But, for some reason, I didn't expect any less here.

Kithle: I guess I'll take that as a compliment...

Feralyn: We don't mean to be rude.

Lisa: Kithle's most likely the smartest being you'll ever meet. He's also a bastard.

Kithle: :D That's what they call me.

Lilly: You're not offended?

Terra: By now, calling him a bastard is more a term of endearment than an insult.

Lisa: Because he really is one. And he enjoys being one WAY too much.

***

Terra: This one's Kanatash. Resident incorporial psychopath from the bowels of Xor'iat.

Lilly & Feralyn: :eek:

Terra: He's not going to do anything to you.

Kanatash: On purpose. :devil:

Lisa: Stop that.

Kanatash: Volrath's essentially my nephew. And, by proxy, I try not to bother Terra. So, as her guests, you'll be fine.

Feralyn: Seems a rather flimsy protection to me.

***

Terra: This is Aerith. The creepily cheerful Solar Deva.

Aerith: :D HI! *rainbows, flowers, and unicorns appear behind her*

Lilly & Feralyn: *anime sweat drop*

Lisa: She's in charge of protecting Captain Jarlot's soul.

Terra: As well as being Sakura/Jaela's mother.

Lilly: The Keeper of the Silver Flame is the child of a Deva?!

Aerith: Not really. Her real mother is Brianna. (OOC: This is how I understand it at least)

Brianna: Aerith inhabits my body in order to guide me during her mission.

Lilly & Feralyn: :twitch:

OOC: It's eerily fun to creep out my own guests. I'll do more later. But I'm being kicked off the computer. :mad:
rampant

06-07-06, 11:14 PM		OOC : Is it just me or does every female in the crew use bludgeoning weapons and/or magic?
-------------------------

Satnak - Ketler make me one of these.
Tosses the artificer a schema.

Ketler - :eek: !!! Your not seriou-

Satnak - 2million + expenses and your fee for silence. Up front.

Ketler - Yes ma'am
-------------------------

Lily - There it goes again.

Feralyn - The feeling of impending doom?

Terra - Thats pretty much background noise.

Lisa - I dunno... Lucky seems especially twitchy recently.

Said diviner is currently negotiating with Allen, Roosevelt, and Greyfeline for a shadowy reinforced barrel of protection.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-07-06, 11:47 PM		OOC : Is it just me or does every female in the crew use bludgeoning weapons and/or magic?
Actually, I'm pretty sure NJ26 and Jingo use ninja stars, daggers, and stuff like that. I think they may be the only exceptions though.

And now back to the fun. :devil:

IC:

Sa'vor: You need something?

Lisa: Just a quick tour for our guests.

Lilly: This place is amazing! All this exists on the ship?

Sa'vor: Technically, no. This is a dimensional pocket I created. It exists with, yet independantly of, the ship.

Terra: Sa'vor is a bit of a unique character. A brilliant warrior, tactician, and leader, those half-dragons you see down there are his creations.

Sa'vor: *smiling* We are no longer a mere half-breed. We are now our own race.

Feralyn: Unbelieveable...

Lisa: He's kind of like Satnak in that if he's not on your side, start praying for a quick death.

Lilly & Feralyn: :eek:

Terra: His girlfriend is Slip, the ship's pilot over there.

Slip: *uncloaks* :mad: I thought I'm not supposed to exist.

Lilly & Feralyn: :confused:

Lisa: Long story.

Naz'roth: *walking up with Tara* Who are they?

Tara: New recruits?

Lilly & Feralyn: :mymy: :blink: :help:

Terra: Oh, they're not joining. They're here for the wedding. They're my old friends, Lilly and Feralyn. *turns to them* This is Naz'roth, one of the old Daemon Lords, and Tara, Sa'vor's cousin.

Lilly & Feralyn: :eek: :ghosted:

Lisa: Uh-oh. I think we over did it.

Naz'roth: I tend to have that effect on people. :D

Terra: Let's get them back to their rooms. I keep forgetting how intimidating this crew is for the unaccustomed.

Lisa: After that, we should go check on Satnak. I'm starting to think Lilly may be right. This excess impending doom could have something to do with her.
rampant

06-08-06, 01:34 AM		Lisa - Satnak *knock-Knock*

Terra - I don't think she can hear you.

Lisa - Or maybe she's moping?

Terra - Not like her to... Whats this?

Terra picks up a piece of paper that had partially Slid out from under the door.

Terra - Oh F*CK

Lisa - Later honey this looks serious.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-08-06, 01:57 AM		Terra - Oh F*CK

Lisa - Later honey this looks serious.
:heehee

Since you're obviously up to something, and it involves my characters, I'll hold off on progressing my plot a bit. I wanna see where this is headed. :) Must...resist...urge...to...mess...with. ..Krozen...
rampant

06-08-06, 04:13 AM		OOC: Go ahead mess with Krozen, I kind of need that scene :D I'm trying not to delay you too much so I'm weaving it through the pre-wedding arc.
--------------------------
Satnak - Should I...

Its a major change many are never the same...

Isn't that the point...

On the one hand there is the power...

There is also the risk...

Forbes survived it...

His lyncanthropy put him halfway there to begin with he had an edge...

That isn't the issue...

It would make it even harder to find someone...

I can't have Levy do I care?
urial angel of death

06-08-06, 05:50 AM		OOC: must resist urge to make spoof until after wedding.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-08-06, 10:09 AM		Silver: I wonder about Lily and Feralyn…

Crow: Please do not go there.

Silver: Well what else can I do? All of us are completely useless these days.

Lucky: Here here.

Mr. T: Ah pidy me.

NJ26: :( Unless it involves Ketler…(shudder).

Saberiel: Exactly.

Jam: I concurr.

Lucky: Hey, you got to be in "Dumb Wars".

Jam: I had ONE scene, which doesn't make up for pages and pages of disuse.

Jaela Jarlot: Maybe I can get Terra to introduce me to her friends.

Crow: :confused: Oooooookay, what was that for?

JJ: I was just thinking that Lily and Feralyn have excellent body structure. :schemes:

Silver: Preemtively I had nothing to do with this. It's all your fault.

Crow: I keep telling you I messed with this timeline's Jaela. I just don't understand why there aren't any symptoms. You would think after breaking Tira—why do you have that weird look on your face?

Silver: :devil: I just realized we have never introduced Aerith and Saberiel's baby. And don't you think it would be fun to show it to Lily and Feralyn?

Crow: :confused: ……………Oh yeah. :plotting:
*****
OOC: Okay, I need a scene where Lily and Feralyn meet Caralot. End it at somepoint where I can pick up immediately after. (And if you want help messing with Krozen, Crow knows some fun things about the Silver Flame :angelhide: )
Chrys

06-08-06, 10:43 AM		ooc: I want a do a bit with Krozen and the Demon lords but that can wait til after the wedding, I've nixed my kidnapping plot and the poeple with [The are still named and can be used but eh.} I don't have a good enough grasp on Lily and Feralyn to do a bit with them and Beryl.

Now Back to working on my simi-evil plan to hook-up Satnak and Beryl :smirk: [its just an idea, so don't worry]
Kaizer_Ryu

06-08-06, 11:27 AM		OOC: Well, I kind of needed Terra to be able to be free to act for what I have planned for Krozen. Perhaps this happens before my guests arrive.

And there is nothing between Lilly and Feralyn. They are strictly heterosexual :P .

IC:

Cardinal Krozen sits brooding in his chambers late at night. The wedding invitation sits smoldering in the trash.

Krozen: Such audacity. As if I would participate in such a travesty, let alone associate with those pirate scum.

He simply couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched. Already extremely paranoid, the invitation had brought back fears of exposing his most obvious indescretions. He had privately disowned her, publicly defamed her, he had even...he shook his head. No need to bring up that. She still wished for him to come? Impossible. It was no doubt a trap. At this time, a voice floats out from the shadows.

Terra: Cardinal...

Revealing herself, she is wreathed in darkness, much like during the attack on the FF in the Plane of Shadow. He cannot see her very well, but he gets the impression that she is silently mocking him.

Krozen: Who are you?! How did you get in here?! GUARDS!!

Terra: They can't hear you, Cardinal.

Krozen: What have you done to them?!

Terra: Nothing. They're outside the door, but your vioce can't reach them. I have twisted the dimensions around this room. Even if they decide to come through your door, they'll end up in the courtyard. :devil:

Krozen: *a look of fear crossing his face* What do you want?

Terra: First things first. I'm Terra, the woman your daughter is marrying in a couple days.

Krozen: :mymy: :blink: :OMG!

Terra: :devil: I'm here to make sure you accept our invitation. My love really does want you there, despite what you've done to her. And believe me, I know exactly what it is you've done.

Krozen: *acting innocent* Whatever do you mean?

Terra:*stares at him coldly* You are a worse monster than I could ever be.

Krozen: *smiles evilly* You can't prove anything. Besides, it's impossible for me to be associated with filth such as yourselves.

Terra: I don't think you realize the gravity of the situation...

The shadows reach up and ensnare Krozen, lifting his startled form into the air. Approaching him, Terra places her hand on his head and begins hacking into his mind. She shatters his mental defenses, exposing his darkest secrets.

Terra: So you see, Cardinal, you have little choice not to come. I could make you not only confess to any one of these things, but willingly produce evidence to prove it.

Krozen: *strained* You b*tch,...how...are you...doing this...?

Terra: The shadow thing? Special ability. Let me show you. Consider this a chance to get to know your future daughter-in-law.

Releasing him, she forms a shadow sword. It cannot be seen clearly except out of the corner of the eye, but it is ornately designed and seemingly top quality. Handing it over too him, he finds it is light as a feather, yet completely real.

Terra: Impressive, no? That which by it's very nature is deemed untouchable, I can mold like clay.

Picking up a pen, Krozen tests its edge. Tossing it into the air, the sword slices it so cleanly that the pen doesn't split till it hits the floor. An evil sneer crosses his face and he swings for Terra's head. She doesn't even flinch as the blade approaches her. Mere inches from her neck, it stops despite his efforts and splits into five blades. Each blade tip bears the head of a shadow hydra. They turn on his startled form, biting and ripping at him. He instinctively lets go of the sword and closes his eyes. His shrieks of pain echo in the room as Terra stand there, smiling.

The pain disappears suddenly. Opening his eyes again, Terra is gone. So is the sword. He bears no injury, and the only sign of anything happening are his memory and sweat soaked robes (with possibly some other things added in).

Terra: *from the shadows* So you see, Cardinal, you are coming. You are going to acknowledge her. You are going to be happy for her. This was merely child's play compared to what I will do to you should you hurt her more than you already have...

Krozen stands there shaking in fear, knowing he's trapped between a rock and a hard place. He makes a mental note to have his wedding attire prepared in the morning.

OOC: I hope this was as fun for you guys as it was in my head. Sometimes it's so hard to translate ideas to print. If you want to mess with him further, I have no problem with it. :schemes: And don't worry, I'm not done with him yet. :plotting: :evillaugh
Crystalforged

06-08-06, 11:59 AM		OOC: I don't know what it looked like in your head but it came out pretty well here, I know what you mean about transferring things to print, I have the same problem sometimes. Also, reading that, I thought of a good job Kanatash in the wedding, acquisition of unwilling or indisposed guests. Basicly he uses his powers to retrieve, with only "slight" ( :angelhide ) wear and tear any guest who deciedes not to attend and provides transport for ones who have difficulty reaching the wedding, like Volrath's father and other spawn of Xoriat.



IC: Kanatash: Say Terra, if the cardinal proves to still be uncooperative can I have him? :plotting:
urial angel of death

06-08-06, 12:11 PM		Volrath: Terra, Krozen can stay in my room. :schemes:
Terra: No, he needs to be whole for the wedding and has to be sane enough to govern Thrane afterward.
Volrath: I promise he will be physically whole, and if he will still be able to function in society.
Terra: Maybe, I'll think about it.
Terra walks away.
Volrath (telepathically) : P/Y/R, sweety, did you pick "it" up.
P/Y/R: Yeah, the Butcher gave up his cleaver really easily. :smirk:
Volrath pulls a ring from his pocket.
Volrath: Excellent. :evillaugh Hope to see you soon, baby.

OOC: The Butcher is a minor demon prince.
urial angel of death

06-08-06, 03:07 PM		Slip sluggishly walks over to the airship controls, just as she has done everday for several years.
Slip: Let's get this thing in the air Earl.
There is a pause. The ship doesn't start. Earl doesn't come back with a witty retort. Nothing happens. Slip looks out the cockpit window. She see the elemental ring completely empty and no sign of Earl.
Slip: Where is he?

Meanwhile in the bar, practice for the battle of the bands is well under way. Well atleast for one band. Muradin is seated at a adamantite drum set. He twirls a hammer in each hand, like drum-stick. With that the first preformance of Muradin Smash! begins. Squinty uses his eye rays to play a circular keyboard. Earl is playing an enormous lead guitar. While Steve plays on an equally large bass. *insert mind blowing music, that I am to lazy and unskilled to actually make, here* After they stop playing Lucky, the only person watching, gives them a standing ovation.
Lucky: You guys have only one weakness. You need a lead singer...
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-08-06, 03:16 PM		Crow: Did I just misinterpret that, or is everyone getting married around here?

Silver: Meh. Hey, you want to mess with Krozen?

Crow: By doing what? What could we possibly come up with that would……………………oooooooohhhhhhhh, yyyyyyyyeeeeeeesssssssssss. :evillaugh:

Silver: Huh? What is it?

Crow: You don't live inside the Silver Flame for centuries without learning every one of a worshipper's special secrets.

Silver: You mean like what he did to Lisa.

13: :raincloud Let's not mention that.

Crow: Oooooooohhhhhhhh, no. I'm talking about the "fun" secret.

Silver: What could be………… :OMG! That is the most twisted thing ever. Lisa would never forgive us.

Crow: Oh, she would.…………She woud indeed.………………
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-08-06, 05:23 PM		In what I hope will be a continuing series:

Rules We Have Broken! :eek:

232. The Tarrasque will not be referred to as “Mr. T.”

233. Mr. T. will not be imitated under any circumstances.…

…235. Or Michael Jackson.…

…247. You are not allowed to pick fights with the leaders of major religions.

248. You are not allowed to hit on them either.

249. …especially if doing so would violate Thranish age of consent laws.……

…423. We don’t make bombing runs with "Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke".

424. Unless we have a pool going as to who can get the closest to the target.…

…452. Do not refer to Henchmen crew as "Red Shirts".…

…495. Rakashasas are not to be referred to as "Tony".…

…612. This is not Star Wars…

…680. For the last time, NONE of us are Batman.…
rampant

06-08-06, 06:32 PM		OOC: When did we do anything with Micheal Jackson?
--------------------------

Satnak - Listen Krozen I have even less patience for you then she does.

Krozen - What the ? :confused: ? who are you?

Satnak - I am pretty much the overlord of this world. I am that which makes your puny gods tremble. I am the one who will decide whether to destroy or save this Plane when its time comes. I am the Breaker, I am the Mortal Spirit, and I am very protective of my friends.

Krozen - Show your face then if you are so great I was much more intimidated by the shadow power of Terra.

Satnak - I'm not here to intimidate, I'm just warning you that Terra wont get a chance to hurt you because I have much more useful ideas for our enemies. You wish your soul to join the flame upon your death? I can trap it and torment it for eternity to fuel my power. I am The Breaker Prime the Next Mortal Beast.

Satnak's form is briefly revealed somehing is different her melds are tainted with dark tormented power, and her tatoo is thrashing as if alive.
urial angel of death

06-08-06, 07:41 PM		A robed man materializes in Volrath's room. He would look Egyptian, if Egyptian were an Eberronian nationality. He seems to give off an almost tangible aura of superiority. Volrath looks anxiously at the man as he begins to speak.
man: Hello, my son.
Volrath: That's a rather modest avatar for you isn't it. With it being a marriage between two women and all, I have expected you to come as the African Pimp.
Nyarlathotep: That was cold, even for you. Why can't we just act like father and son, just for this one night.
Volrath: Alright, I'll try. I'm sure Clarice will be gland to see you.
Nyarlathotep: It will be lovely to see your sister again. What with Terra, Squishy, Kanatash, this will damn near be a family reunion.
Volrath: Mom isn't here.
Nyarlathotep: I know, :weep: but there's nothing we can do about that now. All we can do is enjoy what we have, and try to lose ourselves in the carnage of destroying a few villages.
Volrath: That helps. :(
Nyarlathotep: Come on, it'll be fun. You can kill the first paladin.
Volrath: Thanks :)
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-08-06, 08:00 PM		OOC: When did we do anything with Micheal Jackson?
OOC: Michael Jackson Daelkyr.

IC: 5808: Just because the Puritans of the Silver Flame is a one-deity worshipping group who subject themselves to an austere lifestyle and ritual forms of self-punishment and have a secretive branch no one knows about does not mean that they wish to keep secret the relationship between Tira Maron and the couatl.

5809: That movie wasn't even accurate.

5810: All rules now apply to what you will have done when you have gone back in time to before the rule existed.
urial angel of death

06-08-06, 08:08 PM		5811) The Silver Flame has no Section XIII called Iscariot
5812) Even if it did they wouldn't be coming after Sa'vor, Slip, and me.
5813) No I am not just a very manly woman!
urial angel of death

06-08-06, 08:21 PM		Crow: Did I just misinterpret that, or is everyone getting married around here?

OOC: Sorry I didn't notice that my post could be taken that way until right now. While it would be a rather interesting story (including why the cleaver was needed), that isn't what I intended. The ring is a ring of regeneration. I hope you guys can piece it together from there. :smirk:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-08-06, 09:33 PM		Terra: Something is seriously wrong with Satnak.

Lisa: No kidding. I think she's taking Levy's decision harder than we thought.

Terra: That's a strong possibility. She's one of the few people I have difficulty keeping tabs on. I guess our only choice is to wait and see if there's anything we can do.

Lisa: *nods* On a lighter note, I got a response from my mom.

Terra: Positive, I hope.

Lisa: :D Uh-huh! She'll be here in the next day or so.

Terra: Anyone else?

Lisa: Well, since they're in charge of protecting the kingdom, my Paladin friends from my graduating class won't be coming before the wedding. They send their congratulations and look forward to meeting you.

Terra: I just hope it goes well. Neither of us are particularly popular in Thrane.

Lisa: You worry too much. Like you said before; between our infamy and Sakura/Jaela's blessing, we shouldn't have any problems. Other than our normal one's at least...

OOC: Four in a row! One more and I get a cookie! :D
rampant

06-08-06, 11:02 PM		Lisa - What was that paper about, most of it was in psychobabble.

Terra - Well it was part of a treatsie on using necrocarnum with psionics to create a new version of the dragon of Tyr Ritual.

Lisa - :confused: Ok you lost me at dragon?

Terra - Not quite sure what that means myself, but considering where Satnak gets her data... Jarlot might.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-08-06, 11:18 PM		Terra and Lisa arrive at Jarlot's quarters. A knock on the door causes several disappointed and somewhat unhappy voices to emit from the room. Jarlot opens the door slightly.

Jarlot: *annoyed* Can I help you?

Terra: We need to borrow those 'D&D' or whatever books you've got.

Lisa: We have a bit of a situation. It likely involves Satnak with lovers angst.

Jarlot: OH, SWEET KHYBER! I'll be right back.

Terra: Can't we just come in and get them?

Jarlot: Well, uh...

Aerith: *from inside* We're a bit...um...busy in here...

Tifa: :plotting: They could join in...

Lisa: :rolleyes: :blush: I think we'll pass, Captain.

Jarlot: *whispering* Thank gods. They're killing me in here.

Terra: :blush: Too much info, not enough books.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-08-06, 11:32 PM		5808: Just because the Puritans of the Silver Flame is a one-deity worshipping group who subject themselves to an austere lifestyle and ritual forms of self-punishment and have a secretive branch no one knows about does not mean that they wish to keep secret the relationship between Tira Maron and the couatl.

5809: That movie wasn't even accurate.
:doh: It took two hours for it to occur to me that these were rips on The Da Vinci Code. But the wait made it that much funnier. :D
rampant

06-09-06, 01:08 AM		Lisa - I found something!

Terra - What?

Lisa - Well apparently there is an Arcane/Psionic process through which one can reshape their body into that of a great dragon. It requires a massive ritual that is expensive in both gold and lives. As many as a thousand must die depending upon the power of the individuals sacrificed. Satnak lacks the Arcane power to perform this though.

Terra - Of course the paper was about how to modify the process for an incarnum/psi-user. It mentioned changing the foci, the ritual gets modified somehow and the incarnum energies are used to replace the flow of arcane energy. Necrocarnum must get involved during the sacrifice because thats the only way a psycarnum warrior like Satnak could manipulate the life force of others like that. Fascinating.

Lisa - FLAME THAT WHAT IS SHE THINKING?!?!

Terra - Probably damned near the same thing I would be if you had turned me down.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-09-06, 01:48 AM		Terra: A possibility just occured to me.

Lisa: What?

Terra: Do you think it's possible that she could use the souls bound to her as part of the ritual?

Lisa: She doesn't have that arm anymore...

Terra: No, but it's power remains with her. I'm not completely familiar with Incarnum energies, so I don't know if the conversion would allow it.

Lisa: Either that, we somehow talk her out of it, or lots of people are going to die for this...

OOC: I have no idea what you're going for. I'm not at all sure if the idea described above could even work, or if I'm missing something. I'm unfamiliar with this Dragon of Tyr ritual, as it is not contained within my meager collection of books. Maybe you could shed a little light on what Satnak is going to do for the less enlightened (aka: me)? :bigeyes:
rampant

06-09-06, 02:03 AM		OOC : I myself do not have access to a descricption of the full ritual I merely know it involves the sacrifice of 1k HD worth of sentients and 50 times that much in gold. (dragon magazine #339)
-------------------------
Satnak - Thank you Ketler, now be gone.

Ketler hands over a Black Pearl, and skats.
-------------------------
Spear Redshirt 1 - I totally broke the little weasels leg.

Spear Redshirt 2 - Haha what then?

Spear Redshirt 1 - Then I finished beating the snot out of his loudmouthed little brother and HRRRRk

Spear Redshirt 2 - Hrrk

Satnak - This so much more convinient then trying to find a thousand at once.

The black pearl draws in the life force of the Redshirts and binds into Satnak's melds.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-09-06, 02:11 AM		OOC : I myself do not have access to a descricption of the full ritual I merely know it involves the sacrifice of 1k HD worth of sentients and 50 times that much in gold. (dragon magazine #339)
Ah, that would be why I couldn't find it. Thanks. At least I don't feel as completely out of the loop anymore. As far as the description you gave of the ritual, does this mean Satnak's trying to become a Great Dragon Lycanthrope? Or am I reading it wrong?
rampant

06-09-06, 02:19 AM		OOC: Not quite this is a modification, there are side effects from screwing with the ritual. The final result depends on Satnak's state of mind when she hits 1k HD of sacrifices.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-09-06, 07:49 AM		:doh: It took two hours for it to occur to me that these were rips on The Da Vinci Code. But the wait made it that much funnier. :D
OOC: Yeah :embarrass it wasn't easy. I've never seen the Da Vinci Code, nor read the book. I knew the Silver Flame was perfect, but I had to make some things up about the Puritans in order to get it right. I didn't take me two hours to come up with, but it took some time because I had to make sure I got everything in. I guess I figured that context would provide some clue. If it makes you feel any better a lot of the time people post rules that reference games and anime that I've never even heard of.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-09-06, 08:37 AM		OOC: sorry i havnt posted in the last few days guys. i've been in normandy for the aniversary of the D-day landings.

IC:

Sa'vor shuddered. Satnak was going to do somthing very very bad. Sa'vor flexed an armoured arm. He, Naz'roth, Tara, Slip and Feal-Thas where fully tooled up. if Satnak was going to come after them (because each of them now possesses huge amounts of HD. Naz'roth possessing the most our of any of them) she'd have a lot of trouble, recently Sa'vor had been experimenting with emulating his draconic side. his entrance into the Hide-Carved orders and becoming a Dragon Ascendant had been most intresting. Sa'vor had even decided to become a Dragon stalker and Dragon slayer to enhance his abilities at fighting his full blooded counterparts.

he'd also discovered information about the diciples of Ashardalon. but he was still no match for Satnak, this troubled him. being weaker had always troubled him. now she had over stepped her bound. Sa'vor admired some of the symbiots he'd recently acquired with the help of Volrath. A Soul tick, A shadow Sibling and a mind leech. most intresting they where. Sa'vor began to pefrom the martial poses of the Dance of Shadows to prepare his mind.

***

Anger festered in Naz'roths heart. Demon lords no longer respected the power he weilded. they needed to learn some humility. it burned in him that the couatal had defeated him all those years ago, now the diecide wished to become a dragon. is she wished to harvest his esscense she'd have a lot of trouble doing so, he was Naz'roth of legion. His power shook the very foundations of the earth.

Naz'roth had never become a god like entity. he'd prefered to stay normal, allowing him to reap the benifits of not requireing followers to expand his power base. in the back of his mind the wonders and Dark speech clammered to be used, thousands of wonders raged, their ury making the power of his epic magic and psionics cower in the corner. he smiled, only he knew how to really control the wonders. only he possessed more than half of them. only he could wield them with ease. such power was never ment for mortals.

Naz'roth felt the reassuring touch of Tara's hand. he stemmed the rage, and readied it. the time would come soon enough for battle, even if there wasnt a battle, he needed to teach the Fiendish lords a lesson. they where far too impudent from his long absence...
rampant

06-09-06, 08:55 AM		Satnak - I wonder if there any crystals left?
------------------------

Kithle shudered, this was the day he feared above all others. Satnak had become unstable, since she had decieved them about her dependence on the arm for power all hope of control was lost. The only option was to hide, and hope her friends could help.

Kithle - Here I am one of the 10 most powerful people in this world and a single child has me and many of my allies cowering. I hate being the one who has to run and hide.

------------
Kanatash - she's coming for me

Caralot - ...
Chrys

06-09-06, 09:07 AM		Beryl: Slip could you phase the ship in to the plane of Law Please.

Slip: Why?

Beryl The soul of the red shirts are mine No one going to mess with them but ME! Now I'm going to go try and talk to Satnak, but for things get worse.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-09-06, 09:10 AM		Terra: What do you think?

Lisa: Frankly, I think we're boned. But we need to find her.

Terra: I was afraid you'd say that. You do know that, according to these (motions to the D&D manuals), we're some of the higher HD members of the crew, and possibly the world, right?

(OOC: Lisa's stats haven't been officially upgraded since the beginning. She's actually become quite powerful since she's participated in nearly every battle)

Lisa: Yeah, we may just be feeding the fire. But who else is going to have a chance at getting her to listen? Besides, if she really wanted to find us, it's not like we could avoid her for any length of time...

Terra: Point and point. All right, let's go.

OOC: Sorry, Chrys, but you need a PLOT DEVICE (incidental music, lightning, horses neighing) for getting to other planes.
Chrys

06-09-06, 09:36 AM		Ooc: Ok that works even better,

After Slip could not move the ship, Beryl has all the Remaining red shirts on the deck. With a three copies of the statment Jarlot signed, the Demon lord are on a speical mission just in case she failed.

The air cracked and a Few perfect symbols draws them self on the on the Hull.

John: Hey whats going on up there.

Beryl: Calling forth the Inevitables.

Random Red shirt: But aren't you Chaoctic?

Beryl: Out of Choas come order and Out of Order Chaos :embarrass
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-09-06, 10:37 AM		Crow: Is there anything we can do?

Silver: No. Remember, when you were Sutekh I couldn't stop you. Satnak's always been more powerful than that.

13: She didn't get me.

Crow: Well that's because the suffering of this world sustained you. Unless you want to go back to that—

13: :headexplo NO!……Ugh, I know what Satnak's about to become. You would think she would have learned by now.

Word Being: I agree. Fighting you, and then her alt, you'd think she'd see that power isn't always the best choice. In fact its always the worst choice. (it gestures into the Player's Handbook) Look at this! It's got so much combat focus that people just go around complaining about builds that add only to charcter concept. (OOC: I'm guilty of this.)

13: Why can't you stop Satnak?

Word Being: *sigh* If this were my multiverse it would be a fair fight: I'd just outsmart her when her power drained her brain. But here there's no such possibility.

Crow: What's with the power accumulation among all these people, huh?

Silver: Same sort of thing you get in anime: "Oh, I have to get more powerful to beat this next opponent." How often do you see a good tactic these days?

13: Yeah. I had power. What did it get me?

Word Being: I have some power. I hope to create a world one day. But do you see me obsessing over it?

Crow: Suppose that's the problem with mortal beings: they want something, and then they don't do anything with it once they have it.

13: What about…?

Silver: He'd beat her in an instant. Not good for plot.

OOC: It all had to be said. Your characters get more powerful, and then what do you do with all that power? :P
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-09-06, 10:42 AM		OOC: Sa'vor uses his power to keep the time line in the place its meant to be, as well as keeping the characters from destroying the very foundations of time and space. Naz'roths use for his power is to carve a place for him in existance. Tara uses her power to survive against the people whom hate her for using darker magics, she also experiments with new spells and enchantments to expand her understanding of magic and its functions.

Mia on the other hand uses her powers to spread hope and happyness amungst the crew. she likes to solve problems and keep relationships going. she also uses her power to get people to open up rather than locking away all their emotions

they also use their power to escape persecution for being what they are, Sa'vor for being an abomination in the eyes of his people, Tara for being born with dark powers that she doesnt entirly comprehend and Naz'roth to fight against the forces of argonesson that wont whant him free.
rampant

06-09-06, 10:47 AM		OOC: Good to know someones paying attention :schemes:
--------------------------------

Lisa - Before we try to talk to her I think we need to try to understand what's going through her head.

Terra - She's whacked because Levy wont be her lover. Seems pretty simple.

Lisa - Even Satnak wouldn't take a simple rejection this far. She acquired power to impress Levy, remember her story. I think she used her devotion to Levy to define herself a little too much and now without a purpose she's just giving in to the desire power for its own sake.

Terra - ... Love your amazing.

Lisa - :blush:
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-09-06, 11:15 AM		Naz'roths head buzzed with thoughts and plans. all brilliant. but unfourtunatly half of them would be of no use or took too long.
( in Naz'roths mind)

Naz'roth: if Terra and Lisa dont Talk Satnak out of this im going to have to defeat satnak. *turns to the Wonders and Dark speech* okay boys we need a plan. she'll probably be powerful enough to win this. that and she's smart.
so we need to be smarter. brute force will not work here.

Tempest wonder: Well. we could always use some of the more powerful spells in your repetoire to wear her down.

Dark Speech word *Death*: That wouldnt work. once she hits a certain amount of scarifices out magical ability will run off her like water

Naz'roth: your right, we need a plan that would cause her to calm down, or imobolise her.

Dark Speech word *Curse*: we could blight her so her powers are restricted.

Dark Speech word *Darkness*: if that doesnt work we could always restrict her vision and make it difficult for her to fight us. bring her into an area where we have an advantage.

Lightning storm wonder: yes... that could work. then we need to weaken her, perhaps with a storm of energy attacks. with a few defensive spells on us.

Dark Speech word * Death*: what we need is a Trojan horse. somthing that she wouldnt expect. somthing that seems ireleveant but would in fact once we have the situation right incapasitate her.

Naz'roth: your right... but what?

Binding Wonder and Dark Speech word *binding*: *ahem* by using our powers matched together we could bind her into that recepticle Allen created. that way she wouldnt be able to do anything to us, and we could all talk her out of this and bring her away from the brink of this madness.

Naz'roth: *evil grin* that is excellent. we could put it as a contingency spell. she wouldnt be able to detect it.
Chrys

06-09-06, 11:43 AM		Ooc
Beryl use any power she has to live in realtive peace the only reason she went and drained the Rahja was to stop Naz'roth from threatinging her .. and killing her demons [ and to kill neo-Tifa now]

The Demon lords have no real power here that are really for fun

This P/Y/R does give a crap about power, she just want attention [that she gets from Volrath and her mommy now; yes I said this P/Y/R ] {speaking of that I have to restat her... Unseelie is a template insted of a race :embarrass}

And I'm still think of setting Beryl and Satnak up as a couple :embarrass :P

*** **** *****
As the lightning storm and summoning stops Five thing stand on the deck...

Varahut: For what purpose have we all been called. No one on this ship claims to be a god and isn't
Zerekhut : Non- are wanted for ... Wait yes there is Damn I'm going to be here all day.
Kolyarut: Me too, so many broken deals.
Marut: Undead ... Rah Hulk Smash... to many undead to think straight
Quarut: There are so many hole in time and space here I'm shocked poeple haven't meet a double.

RRS [Random Red shirt] 1: What you mean Like all the alts?

RRS 2: Shhh the rules don't talk about them.

Varahut: Rules that seems like a good place to start.

Five second after they all read the rules the Law keepers blow up.

Beryl You know the Rules are messed up when they can destroy the thingy that are made to inforce them. Well that leaves me with Going and talking to her or hope the Demon lord Find what I sent them to get... in other word you all Boned.
urial angel of death

06-09-06, 01:06 PM		A small egg-shaped inevitable walks up to Beryl.
Inevitable: I am here to fulfill my duty.
Beryl: I don't recognize you. What kind of inevitable are you and what is your purpose?
Inevitable: My purpose is to kill those that make bad puns. My kind has no name, for we are afraid someone might make a pun out of it.
Beryl: You're going to have quite a job here.
Inevitable: Then I might as well get to work. My companion the gram'mar, will be arriving shortly. He is the inevitable that kills those that make horrific spelling and grammar mistakes.
urial angel of death

06-09-06, 01:49 PM		And I'm still think of setting Beryl and Satnak up as a couple :embarrass :P


We all have our little pet prodjects. Mine is a Diablo 2 spoof. The FF crew members fit so perfectly as the characters. I can hardly wait until the wedding is over. :twitch:
Chrys

06-09-06, 03:07 PM		Inevitable: Then I might as well get to work. My companion the gram'mar, will be arriving shortly. He is the inevitable that kills those that make horrific spelling and grammar mistakes.

OoChrys: Ahhhhhh! Keep it away! keep it away!

An Exclaimation point with a hammer gun chases the bodyless voice of this authnor [mis-spell on purpose]
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-09-06, 04:10 PM		OOC: Naz'roth isnt after beyrl. he conciders her as a netrul party at worst. his real concern are Asmodeous, Dispater, Orcus and friends. in his eyes they've become a little too assured in their power.
Naz'roths trying to bring demons and devils into an alliance against a foe that threatens the very existance of the multiverse.... ( and we're not talking about carebears or teletubies).
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-09-06, 04:38 PM		bring demons and devils into an alliance against a foe that threatens the very existance of the multiverse.... ( and we're not talking about carebears or teletubies).
OOC: :OMG! You mean there are wose things than carebears and teletubbies?

[rant alert. please do not read if you are prone to feel miffed by someone just trying to express themselves and let off steam.]
And as for my speech abour power, maybe I should have added this: :rant:
It's just that every time I read about a new power one of the characters has gained another power in the form of a template or a new class or draining a rajah I just get so bored. Eventually it just makes the characters feel like a stat-block with a preprogrammed voice. Look at my characters: a really old professional henchman who has nothing better to do than talk about all the weird people he's worked for, a construct who's eternally peeved because it's trapped inside the body of a teddy bear, two random entities who claim to be gods but who just go around doing freaky things and occasionally pointing out how the crew is just as freaky, a sex-crazed mad scientist who's obsessed with breeding the most abnormally cute thing in existance, a progenitor dragon who's only purpose right now seems to be delivering mail that shouldn't exist, and a god living in the body of a minotaur who only seems to really care about running a multi-dimensional bar.

(*pant, pant*)
Okay, thank you for listening. :cookie: It's just that with all the possibilities people should be able to think up it's always the same thing every time. You may do what you want.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-09-06, 05:17 PM		OOC: gaining knowledge and power is Sa'vors thing. but the ironic thing is that its his own worst enemy. because the more power he has, the more he has to fear about, the more opponents he has and the less he uses his brain to accomplish objectives.
you present a valid point Silvercatmoonpaw. but in the end, thats what makes them human, and less powerful in a way. because they start to become more insecure about their positions and their emotions become more powerful. also thing that would cause somthing less damageing to us, like say a bad hair day become a apocolypticly rediculusly important event to the characeters. so in the end, having all this power about puts all the characters on edge. they have to constantly worry about things that would be trivial to a commoner. where as a bunch of lv 5 fighters could have a brawl and be wounded and accept it. the ubers unfourtunatly cant, since each of them possesses so much power and knowledge and guile that it suddenly becomes dangerous to even have a small fall out or to have frayed tempers. its really like whats happening to Satnak, her power magnifies the emotions she feels and her reaction to things that happen to her
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-09-06, 09:34 PM		OOC: gaining knowledge and power is Sa'vors thing. but the ironic thing is that its his own worst enemy. because the more power he has, the more he has to fear about, the more opponents he has and the less he uses his brain to accomplish objectives.
you present a valid point Silvercatmoonpaw. but in the end, thats what makes them human, and less powerful in a way. because they start to become more insecure about their positions and their emotions become more powerful. also thing that would cause somthing less damageing to us, like say a bad hair day become a apocolypticly rediculusly important event to the characeters. so in the end, having all this power about puts all the characters on edge. they have to constantly worry about things that would be trivial to a commoner. where as a bunch of lv 5 fighters could have a brawl and be wounded and accept it. the ubers unfourtunatly cant, since each of them possesses so much power and knowledge and guile that it suddenly becomes dangerous to even have a small fall out or to have frayed tempers. its really like whats happening to Satnak, her power magnifies the emotions she feels and her reaction to things that happen to her
OOC: I know what it's like to be all too powerless and still have emotions that could destroy the world. You point about the apocalyptic bad hair day is good, but it just illustrates that the more power these guys have the more you seem to go all out to create challenges for them. Maybe next time instead of the C'tan or the Dark you have some elf mastermind think the heroes into a corner. I hope it doesn't make you mad that I say these things: I'm trying to be as reasonable as I can while still saying what I feel like saying. Know what I'd do with that much power?

Naz'roth: Okay, Asmodeus called me and asked if we'd like to be the targets of a plot. I told him we could be free on Zal from 4:00 to 10:00, assuming my pottery class lets out on time. Now, he says it might involve kidnap, bondage, and rape, so naturally Marish has volunteered…
Kaizer_Ryu

06-09-06, 09:56 PM		OOC: SilvercatMoonpaw, I agree that you do bring up a valid point. Any power I give Terra I try to keep in the context of character development. She grew up with her early feelings of helplessness eating at her constantly. It is what drove her forward so that she would never feel that way again. I would have liked to expand on the whole fusion thing at the time, but the plot moved too quickly for me to do much. I had more, time just didn't allow for it :( .

As for what I do with such power...you'll just have to wait and see. :schemes:
rampant

06-09-06, 11:57 PM		Satnak - Wonder where everybody is? Hey guys whats with the hide and seek routine? Hello? Anybody there? I never liked this game :ahem:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-10-06, 12:57 AM		Satnak - Wonder where everybody is? Hey guys whats with the hide and seek routine? Hello? Anybody there? I never liked this game :ahem:
Sorry. I wanted to post more, but I'm not the only one who uses this computer. Stupid computer being only one with internet access...mumble...grumble...

Ok, I hope this is at least close to what you're looking for...

IC:

Lisa and Terra finally locate Satnak in the bowels of the ship, draining a few Redshirts. Her melds are glowing fiercely with the combined power of the souls she has drained.

Satnak: Almost there...

Terra: *more than a little freaked* Ok, Satnak. I think you're going a little to far with this...

Satnak: How so? What else is there for me? I have spent my life pursuing one goal above all, and it turns out to have been a fruitless effort.

Lisa: How does this help? Should you complete this unscathed, what then? Do you keep increasing your power like this, eventually becoming nothing more than dumb muscle? Is that how you plan on drowning out the pain?

Terra: Please, talk to us. We're your friends. You've done so much for us, let us do something to help you. Just this once, let us in.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-10-06, 02:43 AM		OOC: Ok, SCMP, here's that scene you asked for...

IC:

On Terra's request, Jaela Jarlot is continuing Lilly and Feralyn's tour of the ship while she and Lisa deal with Satnak.

Lilly: :twitch: Ok, just to make sure I've got this right. You are Jaela, but not Pontiff Jaela.

Jaela Jarlot: Right.

Lilly: You are exactly the same, except that you come from an alternate time line where the Silver Flame never existed.

JJ: Pretty much. When the time paradox was resolved, I ended up here when my timeline was destroyed.

Lilly: :twitch: *exasperated* How does Terra cope with all this?

Feralyn: I think it helps that she's not entirely sane...

JJ: That's pretty much a requirement to survive on this ship for any length of time. Ok, we're here.

They stop in front of Caralot's room. Jaela knocks and opens the door cautiously, hoping to avoid seeing anything...unpleasant.

Caralot: *sing-song* Who is it~? Can I help you?

JJ: I'm guiding some of Terra's guests around the ship. Thought they should meet you.

Caralot: Oh, come on in!

Caralot is in her lab coat, which is covered in several mysterious stains. Quench sits at her feet, but gets up and bounds over to the guests.

Quench: :love: Arf!

Lilly: *bending down to pet him* Nice to meet you too, Quench.

JJ: This here's Caralot. She's a master of genetic manipulation and enjoys breeding new and unusual creatures.

Feralyn: In other words...a mad scientist.

Caralot: :D

JJ: She hails from an alternate Eberron and is that universes version of Captain Jarlot.

Lilly: Like Jarlot Depp and Michael Jarlot?

JJ: Except that she's actually useful and isn't on Satnak's 'to kill' list. She likes absurdly cute things and is Kanatash's lover.

Caralot: :cloud9: My little Kani-poo...

Feralyn: But he's...and the incorporiality...how-

Lilly: *whispering* Don't ask. She may actually tell us.

OOC: FIVE IN A ROW! :cookie: Mmmmmm...smiley cookie...
rampant

06-10-06, 05:38 AM		OOC - One thing I'm not sure I'm understanding why does being more powerful make you stupid? I have yet to see where this concept is coming from. A powerful psion grows more intelligent more cunning.
-----------------------------------
Satnak - Whats the big deal, redshirts are filth, crystals are like cockroaches without redeeming qualities, and no one is going to miss Pegasus-Jarlot, or his summon beasts.

Terra - This whole dragon thing scares us.

Lisa - Do you really want this, or is this your broken heart speaking?

Satnak - .... :bigeyes:

Terra - Come on kid talk to us.

Satnak - Why...whats wrong with me? Does she want someone stronger than me? There are others... that smarmy creep Orash, that horrid Tekeg, oh what i'd give to rip out Vingen's spine and make it stick damned wartroll hides. I may not be the strongest, but I'm damned near the top. I could beat any of them if ... if ... I thought she would have me then. What am I without her, I lied to her dammit, I can't handle this... I lied, I need her :weep:

Satnak is currently curled up in a ball on the floor weeping softly.

Lisa - OOf i got ya Satnak.

Terra - Lets get you some chili and a nap, you need to calm down a touch.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-10-06, 09:00 AM		OOC: you give me some extremly intresting ideas silvercatmoonpaw... but i'll save them up and build on them before doing anything.

also, i think what silvercatmoonpaw means is that the more powerful you get, the more you rely on that power to get you places. you dont really use your brains as much as you use the powers and abilities that you possess. many of the characters have become less crafty as they gain power.

IC:

Naz'roth lowered his arm. the magical energys receeded once more into the depths of his mind. secretly he was happy that he hadnt needed to use his power, he really didnt whant to have to fight Satnak, not only was she quite capable of dealing Naz'roth some serious harm but also he'd come to think of her as an ally and friend. Naz'roth shuddered, perhaps he'd grown soft in his old age.

Tara: no, your just changing to suit the times my dear.

Naz'roth smiled. she'd always been able to read his thoughts. she didnt even need to enter his mind.

Naz'roth: one needs to be flexible. otherwise they will fall due to their inflexibility. Sa'vor had forgotten this, he needs to learn tha he cant rely on power ro get him out of situations. he has to be smart, he has to think his wat through. not all enemies use brute strenght or magic to accomplish their goals...

Tara: *frown* never underestimate your enemies

Naz'roth: exactly. thats a lesson i learned at the hands of the silverflame. those couatal, they where weakened by the war, and we began to get to self assured in our power. then they struck, by sacrificing them selves the daemon lords, the rajahs and the fiends where either banished or imprisoned.

Tara: so what are you planning?

Naz'roth: im planning nothing. its just a feeling i have. with all this ships power they've forgotten to think in other ways. they dont manipulate, or forge or plot anymore. the smart and clever solutions of the old days are gone. replaced with powerful magics and psionics. i think that they'll soon learn that power isnt the only solution, one can only hope.

Tara: lets not dwell on the future. lets remain in the present.

Naz'roth: yes. lets.

they vanish into the shadows. leaving Terra and Lisa to care for Satnak.
rampant

06-10-06, 09:07 AM		Kithle - I geuss the glorified pit-fiend is right, should never have left these nutters alone that long. Well back to work, ahh theres the chocolate pie engine shcema. Those angels will never see it coming.
---------------------------------------
Lisa is carrying satnak back to her old room, while Terra fetches some chili.

Satnak - I'm sorry you two should be working on your wedding, not worrying about me.

Lisa - One thing about this ship, the subcontractors are reliable, these things almost plan themselves. You on the other hand need help.
Endless_Helix

06-10-06, 09:51 AM		Silence: Alright Peoples! Let's FOCUS! Today's the day we, like, collect the Tab!

The Crowd in Erk's: GASP! OH NO!

Silence: So like, basically, I read off a person's name and like, how much they owe. Then they pay up in like, twenty-four hours.

TCIE: *mumble*b*tch*mumble*

Silence: OKAY! WHO SAID THAT?!

The Crowd in Erk's Place part extremely quickly revealing a small, somewhat bedraggled redshirt, male, who is now in a gently enlarging puddle of sweat and possibly other liquids.

Silence: *eyes glow darkly* Your name is Gerald Zimpledower and you owe 2000 GP 1 SP and 5 CP to Erk. I can't, like, kill you since you owe over 1000 GP, but that means I can totally torture you until you pay. Or until you complete working off your debt. I, like totally, think that you will make a wonderful bottomless dancer.

Gerald: H-how do you know all of that?

Silence: I AM, like, THE KEEPER OF THE TAB! If I, like, look at you, I can see your name and, like, how much you owe to Erk.

The Crowd: GASP! OH NO!

Gerald: But, I don't want to be a bottomless dancer...

Silence: Then I am totally allowed to hurt you until you do.

Gerald: But... But... but...

Silence jumps of the stage, and as she's in the air her jaws lengthen and her fingers grow foot-long black claws. Her teeth now have grown into massive fangs, dripping with poison. She tackles Gerald, pinning him to the ground with her claws.

Silence: Still don't want to do your job?

Gerald: :surrender :ghosted:

Silence: Like, good.

Silence returns to the podium and begins reading from her list. The bags of gold quickly pile up and the crowd disperses, muttering darkly.
-------
New Character!
Gerald, the endentured Redshirt and Bottomless Dancer, Elven Expert 4.
He was actually a graduate Koom (phonetically spelled to get around the editting mechanism) Laude at Morgrave as a History Major. He ended up on the Forgotten Freedom when he was kidnapped by Volrath for use in an experiment. Volrath got sidetracked and Gerald managed to escape the holding pens. He quickly found Erk's place and quickly racked up a respectable bar tab for three days. Then Silence made him pay off this tab by working as a bottomless dancer in Erk's Place. He is a very, very unfortunate man.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-10-06, 11:53 AM		also, i think what silvercatmoonpaw means is that the more powerful you get, the more you rely on that power to get you places. you dont really use your brains as much as you use the powers and abilities that you possess. many of the characters have become less crafty as they gain power.
OOC: Well, pretty much. The more power a villain seems to have the less they get creative. Take Palpatine: "Oh, I'm all powerful, I have nothing to worry about, I could tell if my apprentice was going to kill me." In the first three movies he was really crafty, and then he becomes emperor and he gets all overconfident. I see that too often in villains these days. Heroes too. That's why I do Igor: he's a farce on all the dumb things villains do. To quote Terry Pratchett: "The best kind of magic is the kind you don't use."
Okay, time to intoduce someone new.
IC: Caralot: Hey, Jaela, Kantash and I are getting together later. You free?

JJ: Sure.

Lilly and Feralyn: :twitch:

JJ: Oh, I just do the photographs.

Feralyn: Must…scrub…brain…

*knock, knock*

Caralot: Who is it?

Saberiel: It's me. I've brought the baby with me.

Caralot: *squeal that nearly punctures everyones' eardrums* Come in, come in!

Saberiel enters, wearing a rather "standard" female outfit. She is carefully cradeling a tiny bundle. Caralot rushes over and picks it up, making various silly noises.

JJ: :yuck: I'm gonna leave before I die.

Lily and Feralyn go over. Caralot stands back from Saberiel to show off the baby, wrapped in…well…let's call it "locally available" leather. The child seems basically like the average pudgy humanoid baby, with two small horns, but it is wrapped up so much that much of the rest of its body can't be seen.

Lily (to Saberiel): So this is yours?

Saberiel: She's mine and Aerith's.

Caralot: :D With a little help from me.

Saberiel: I'm Saberiel, a succubus waitress at Erk's Place and brewer of his stronger liquors.

The baby coos and squirms. There is a noise from its stomach.

Caralot: Stand back.

Feralyn: Wh—

The baby projectile vomits onto the ceiling, which dissolves.

Saberiel: Acid spit.

Lily: How old?

Saberiel: We're not sure.

Feralyn: :confused:

Saberiel: Time has gotten broken so many times on this ship since her birth that it's impossible to be sure. Aerith thinks one to two months.

Lily notices that the wrapped baby is longer than one of her age should be.

Lily: Could I…hold her?

Caralot: Okay!

Saberiel: Be careful, demon children already have teeth when they're born.

Caralot hands over the baby. Lily takes her gingerly, noting the subtle insectoid quality of her eyes and face. Lily slowly unwraps the child, and is surprised to find nothing more odd than a stinger tail and wasp-like wings.

Saberiel: Oh good, she changed back fully while I was carrying her here.

Lily: Changed back? Is she some sort of shapeshifter?

Caralot: Well you might expect that since one of her mothers is a succubus/nymph. But it's very odd, that's not it…

Feralyn (to Saberiel): So you're part fey? How's that happen?

Saberiel: *shrugs* I guess my mother was a horny little b*tch. I never knew her.

Lily: She doesn't have much of Aerith in her.

Saberiel: Well, it's hard to know what to expect from a mating between two such alignmently-opposite beings such as us. If I hadn't decided I wanted to give up being so evil we might never have gotten together.

Feralyn: Say…what is it about this ship that attracts so many lesbians?

Silver: Don't ask, we don't know.

Feralyn: Gah! How'd you do that?

Silver: I'm the resident fertility goddess. I have to be involved in any and all :pile:-related activities.

Caralot: People just ignore all the straight ones: Naz'roth and Tara, Sa'vor and Slip, Norbaz and Andrea…

Silver: Assuming they get over themselves.

Caralot: …Lucky d'Medani, Silence, Devon, (OOC: etc.)

Just then Quench, who had been feeling left out, begins to whine. The baby, upon hearing this, begins to squeal with delight, and manages to crawl out of Lily's arms. A weird change comes over her: her legs and tail grow into a socrpion body, her torso and head become like a wasp, and she grows some odd clawed appendages from her shoulders. She leaps off Lily and lands on Quench. The two of them begin fighting furiously, until finally the baby ends up on Quench's back and they ride off together into the halls of the ship.

Feralyn: I'll go after them.

Saberiel: No. They're probably just going to annoy someone. It'll keep everyone on their toes. Evilness knows this ship could use it.

Lily: Oh, I just realized I never asked her name.

Saberiel: Oh, we're still working on that.
OOC: If you have any suggestions, let me know! :D
Kaizer_Ryu

06-10-06, 12:35 PM		i think that they'll soon learn that power isnt the only solution, one can only hope.
But it's flashy! Me likey flashy. :schemes:

One thing I would like to mention. As far as Krozen is concerned, he always struck me as the type that thinks he's all that, but isn't. Get him away from his lackeys, show him someone truly stronger/smarter, and he's nothing but a yellow bellied coward.

Part two of my evil plan: Mess with Krozen. No laughs this time. This one's quite serious.

IC:

Krozen sits silently in his private cabin in the lightning rail car on his way to rendezvous with the Forgotten Freedom. He couldn't take any of his guards with him and was travelling incognito. The fallout from this would be hard enough to contain without someone blabbing about specifics.

Damn that child! She had been nothing but a thorn in his side since she was conceived. Being the daughter of the Queen made it impossible to just kill her, locking her away in that monastary had backfired when she became a Paladin. Her violent temper had played into his hands in discrediting her, but he was never truly safe from what she represented. He would have to see how she reacted to him upon his arrival. Perhaps the memory of the 'incidents' were still enough to keep her under wraps...

The car shuddered from a massive explosion. The Cardinal was thrown from his seat as flames danced about him. Ran out to the hall and saw he was the only one without major injuries. The heat and smoke blinded him as he stumbled towards the exit. When he got there, he opened the door and moved to jump out.

He fell forward, falling halfway out the door as someone grabbed his ankle. Lifting himself up, he saw a bloody hand holding him. He tried to kick it off, but in vain. With tremendous strength, it pulled him back into the burning car. When he saw the face attached to it, his heart nearly stopped. Underneath the horrible head wound and zombie-like face, he saw Lisa as she is now. Her eyes were full of hate and malice as she cluched at him. He saw movement off to the right and looked up. A teenage girl, also zombified, stared back at him. This one looked like Lisa when she had entered into training as a Paladin. Behind her was an old woman. Lisa's wrinkled face looked out from underneath the dead eyes. On his left, he saw a middle aged zombie woman, also with Lisa's face. Right next to him, a little girl appears, this one normal looking. She looks like Lisa when he had first...

Lisa: *in tears* Why?! Why do you hate me so?! What did I ever do to you?!

Too startled to respond, he stared at her blankly. The zombies claw at him, the pain coursing through his body as the little girl continued to cry.

Lisa: All I ever wanted was a father! I loved you, despite the way you shunned me. I kept hoping you would come back!

He finally finds his voice amidst the pain.

Krozen: Augh! I never wanted you! Nothing but a filthy little mistake! Grah! You should never have been born!

He begins coughing up blood as the zombie's continue to tear at his flesh. Lisa stands there sobbing. The pain grows too much for him to bear. Yet, he somehow remains conscious.

Lisa: *softly while sobbing* Why? Why did you do that to me? I trusted you. I thought you had finally come to take me with you. You violated the most sacred trust, that between a parent and their child! *her voice grows to a rage* You betrayed me!

The pain redoubles, and he still remains conscious. Something is forcing him to bear suffering beyond his capacity.

Lisa: I won't let you escape this. You will feel all of the pain you have caused me. Only then can you truly understand the sin you have committed...

Krozen wakes with a start. The lightning rail has stopped, passengers are walking by the door. It takes him a moment to adjust. He is unharmed, the rail is functioning smoothly. He is dripping with sweat, and his palms are bloody from clenching them so tight.

Krozen: *holding his head* A nightmare...?

In the back of his mind, he knows it is only the first of many...

***

Aboard the FF, Satnak sleeps soundly in her bed, Lisa and Terra are on the floor. Lisa had fallen asleep as they watched over Satnak, her head resting in Terra's lap. She slowly stroked Lisa's hair, a few tears sliding down both their cheeks. Terra had watched as she had had another nightmare, the same one she'd had every night since she had sent the invitation to Krozen. The thought of seeing her father again had brought back some long buried memories.

Terra: *whispering* Don't worry, love, I'm here. We will get through this. I will see you free from this pain, no matter how long it takes...

OOC: SCMP, I'm glad to see my guests are becoming more accustomed to the insanity of the FF. I'll have more arriving shortly.

And Krozen has come aboard. Give him hell. :plotting: :evillaugh :schemes:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-10-06, 03:20 PM		And Krozen has come aboard. Give him hell. :plotting: :evillaugh :schemes:
OOC: NO! Make a scene of him coming aboard! Give his reactions to the insanity! It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

And I shall reveal a secret about him……at some point. :plotting:

And what insanity are you talking about? :confused: All of that was perfectly logical. (to me, anyway)
Rei32491

06-10-06, 03:41 PM		While waiting to leave with Nalfein, Cuddles is hunting Redshirts. He moves onto the deck of the ship and sees Marish sunbathing.

Cuddles: :smirk: Lunch.

Cuddles moves silently across the ship and almost gets to her without her seeing him.

Marish: :eek: DOG!!!

She runs away with Cuddles gaining fast. She looks for a place to hide, and sees none, so she climbs up the ships mast. Cuddles runs over to the mast and starts "barking". He sees that she is too far up to get, so he runs back and starts to ram the mast. After a bit he causes the mast to splinter and fall over, before it falls over Marish jumps off and runs into the bowels of the ship. Swearing, Cuddles runs off after her. After they are gone, Jarlot and Ketler come to the deck to see what happened.

Jarlot: The hell?

Ketler: I know. Why, again, do we have a mast?

Jarlot: Huh?

Ketler: We're on an air ship. We have no need for a mast.

Jarlot: Do you not see the giant reck that is the deck?!?

Ketler: Yes, but I'm just wondering why we have a mast in the first place.

Jarlot: Well...I...uh...

Ketler: What purpose does it serve? Earl moves the ship, so there's no need for sails, and there's no point in having a lookout...

Jarlot: It's a pirate thing.

Ketler: In the same way that cloning is?

Jarlot: Shut up.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-10-06, 03:45 PM		OOC: NO! Make a scene of him coming aboard! Give his reactions to the insanity! It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!
Ok, fine. It'll be up in a little while. I have to leave in a little bit, so I'll do it when I get back.

And what insanity are you talking about? :confused: All of that was perfectly logical. (to me, anyway)
To us, yes. To them, no. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-10-06, 03:47 PM		Marish: Ooooooohhhhh, Spleen Eater, you naughty boy. :cloud9:

Spleen Eater: Woof. :D

Quench: :devil:
Rei32491

06-10-06, 03:56 PM		Marish: Ooooooohhhhh, Spleen Eater, you naughty boy. :cloud9:

Spleen Eater: Woof. :D

Quench: :devil:
Augh! My brain! NOOOOO!!! :banghead: Must...drink...bleach,...remove...mental ...image...

Kaizer's ROTFL, though. Bastard. :mad:
rampant

06-10-06, 05:23 PM		Lisa - Huh? I'm up, I'll make breakfast :confused:

Terra - Satnak, remember?

Lisa - *yawn* oh right, is she still out.

Terra - Yes, apparently the emotional trauma is getting to her.

Lisa - Poor kid, its easy to forget she's barely an adult by half-elf standards.

Terra - Yes that the thing we all missed, she's so powerful, and dangerous we forget how young she is. She hung pretty mach all her dreams of her future on someone for almost half her life, no wonder she's having trouble now. I wish I understood this ritual better.

Lisa - There are papers all over the room, you still have the one from under the door right? See if it has a page number.

A few minute later.

Terra - Well this is interesting... This substitution is experimental and unstable. The essay mentions Forbes as a unique case due to his lycanthropy it acted as a stabilizer for the final form and provided the emotional controls as well. Most of th other cases aren't pretty, driven to a ravening monster by the pain of the transformation, sometitmes if the substitutioon isn't done exactly right a vital organ or limb might explode. THis one guy ended up with skull shrapnel in both lungs. ... Ok I'm burning this page.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-10-06, 05:49 PM		OOC: cant.... risist .... urge .... must.... mess with Krozen
oh, and there's a preview to my next plotline

IC:
all around Krozen theres an inky blackness. before him stands Sa'vor, his face passive, but in his eyes, a pure unbridled hatred rages unchecked. its fires seem to consume the colourless eyes that he bears. Sa'vors right hand clenches and unclences. static bolts flow between his fingers.

Krozen fights down the aura of fear that this figure creates and speaks,

Krozen: who are you? where is this place?

Sa'vor: my name is unimportant. you wouldnt renember it. this place, is in fact your dream. i've hijacked it for a while.

Krozen: *examins Sa'vor, notes the millitary badge* you faught for Cyre. intresting. why are you here?

Sa'vor: *sadistic smile* im here for pay back, im here to remind you that for everything you do,theres retrabution. im here to remind you of the souls you took. of the tourtures that you've commanded. of the blood thats been spilled, of the innocents that have died

Krozen: *examining Sa'vor again* from what i can tell, you need that yourself.

Sa'vor: *even eviler smile* you and your kind made me what i am today, you are the ones that gave me these ... thirsts... these feelings, this mind. partly because of you i am what i am. the rest of the blame lies with my father, though i suspect he's already dead.

Krozen: was he dragon or elf?

Sa'vor: elf. if you whant to know what started me down this path, it was my father abandoning me, i knew i would never live up to my mothers bloodline, so i followed the elven one. the elves of valenar arnt a forgiving race, to them i was unpure. an aberration, i wasnt even allowed in the towns. i had to stick to villages, and teach my self the skills that i required. the adults shunned me ... or avioded me the best they could. but the children... children arnt so forgiving about those whom are different. its the mortal xenophobia thats bred into them. in most societies it would be the weak one, or the smart one, or the spotty one or the one whom looked completly different. but for the village near me it was me, it was the one whom bore scales. they used to gather in mobs, and pelt me with stones. until one day, my cousin stabbed me in the shoulder with a hot iron from the forge. i killed him. i tore his heart from his chest with my claws. and i gave in to the darkness, i ate his still warm heart.

Krozen: *now captivated by the tale* and after?

Sa'vor: i was disgusted with myself. i'd given in to my primal side, somthing i should never have done. i spent many years training my mind in my mothers lair, thats where the daemonic energies began to twist my form. but it wasnt utill a long while before i was pushed futher along the path once more. for a group of Silver flame paladins had infiltrated my mothers lair, they slew her. and left me dying in a pool of my own and her blood. i got possessed by the imprisoned Daemon. and i wandered. eventualy i was sucked into the last war, where i faught either alongside the 122nd infantry or as an assassin. after a job in thrane, a bunch of your paladins tracked me down. under your orders they slaughtered my Cousins, the Darkscales. twenty two innocent lives lost that night. six children, seven teenagers, eight adults. my whole family was now dead.

Krozen: it was part of the war. civilains are always lost.

Sa'vor: yes. but this was in cold blood. they had done nothing to you, they even invited the paladins to dinner. they paladins killed them while they slept.
but they hadnt got me. and now, im here to give you a reminder that unlike me, your still human. you are not irredemable. now you have to face the concequences of your actions.

Sa'vor raised a hand, and before Krozens eyes, the images of the dead darkscales appeared. a mother, her throat slit, drowining in her own blood. a teenager, his head cut in two. a baby, its cries comeing out as gurgles as a pair of hooded paladins drowned it in a puddle of water.
a child pushed into an open fire, screaming in pain as the flames consumed her body. the flames fed on her clothing and form, but even as the flames consumed her Krozen saw the eyes, the eyes staring at him. lancing through his very soul, the fear, the hatred, the anguish.
more and more images flashed before Krozens eyes, until he had seen every one of the Darkscales die. then sa'vor lowered his hand and waited for krozen to speak.

Krozen turned to Sa'vor and spoke.
Krozen: if im human still. show me what you are like

Sa'vor nodded, and raised his hand. magic crackeled around them as an image formed. Sa'vor stood in the centre of a raging battle. his dual mindblades lashing out in the form of two wicked Kamas. they sycthed and danced with Sa'vor. whos grace was inhuman. he slashed at a throat, and red blood splattered against his face. Sa'vor laughed and licked the spray. he contunued to fight, his blades cutting the flesh in unholy ways. sometimes he would stab a foe, and stare into his eyes as he watched the life flow from him. Krozen felt the bloodlust of Sa'vor flow through him, the sadistic joy of slaughter, the taste of blood. the redrimmed vision. the utter hatered and anguish, the inhuman feelings. he shuddered and backed away.

Sa'vor let the images fade away.

Sa'vor: That is what i can be. that is what i am. but even with those feelings, i am still mortal. i worry, i feel sadness, i desire revenge. but, inside, there is a darkness. and that darkness has a grip on me, i cannot fight it ever. i am its slave. realise this Krozen, you may be a monster. but inside, your still a child. you are a coward, and you always shall be. and a warning, for when you board the forgotten freedom. if you ruin Lisa's wedding in anyway, you'll see how much pain i can truly cause.

Krozen: why do you protect her in this way?

Sa'vor: because, after what you've done to her. she deserves some happyness. and because she's a good person. there arnt that many of them anymore. also, because i need some redeeming qaulities about me.

***
Somewhere in Sharn.

a watchman walks along his night partrol. as usual things are pretty quiet. the shadows dance and weave near his lantern. rain drips from the buildings. the glow of all the moonds has been silenced by the shroud of clouds. their black forms like the harbingers of sorrow. a silvery clatter echos from an ally nearby. the watchman draws his cross bow, his heart pounding in his chest, he steps forwards and enters the allyway,

Night Watchman: All right. i know your in there, come out with your hands up

the shadows in the ally move, and from it emerges a tall figure, wearing black robes and a hood, his legs are alos bound in black cloth. he stands over seven feet in hight. his gloved hands are swarthed in black gloves, nither hold a weapon, instead of a normal face, this one is smooth and featureless, all it shows is a slight suggestion of a nose. the rest is the colour of platinum and reflects the light. the figures cloak flutters out behind it.

the night watch man fires. the creature dodges with an unearthly grace, it raises a hand and knockes the Watchman backwards, he lys sprawled on the floor, with the figure standing over him.

Night Watchman: who are you?

the figure speaks. in a whispered voice.

The Figure: i am The Dream Weaver.

it lowers a hand and touches the watchmans forehead. the watchman shudders and goes still. The Dream Weaver vanishes into the night.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-10-06, 06:59 PM		Krozen's hooded form steps onto the Forgotten Freedom. This was something that only a few days ago he would have thought inconceivable. Yet here he was. He had already been introduced to three of the crew in a rather unpleasant matter, and was not looking forward to meeting the rest.

The following scenes are unfolding on and around the deck:

Squishy: *runs past* Get away from me!

Chalky: *in hot pursuit, drooling* Must...eat...Squishy...

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH!!!

Chalky: HOLY CRAP! *dodge*

***

Saberiel: Come to mommy!

Baby: *squeal*

Quench: Ruff! :inlove:

***

John: So, all I'm saying...

Random Redshirt: *stabbing noises* GRAUGH!!! THE SPIKES!!!

John: ...is that if you took a good, long look...

RR: *yet more stabbing noises* Hurk...guh...blood...feeling dizzy...

John: ...at where your life is headed...

RR: *further stabbing noises* Gurgle...sputter...

John: ...you'll realize that- Oh not again! Why won't Dad give me arms? :weep:

***

Tifa: Wheeze...cough...gag...

Beryl: You're doing well, dear. Try a little more pressure on the spinal column in addition to the wind pipe.

P/Y/R: Okay!

***

Sakura: Let go of my leg, Ketler!

Ketler: NOOOOOOO!!! Please!!! Just once?! :bigeyes:

Jarlot: *gets a crobar and pries him off her* What did I say about touching her?!

Ketler: :weep:

Jarlot pulls out a bottle of Liquid Keelhaul and forces Ketler to drink it.

Ketler: GYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

***

Silence: That was, like, sooooo deep and stuff.

Devon: If you like, I have more in my room...

*PIMP SLAP OF DOOM*

***

Kanatash: *fleeing for his life* WHO IN KHYBER'S SOCK DRAWER LET THEM OUT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Crystals: YEAH KANATASH!!! YOU ARE, LIKE, THE GREATEST!!!

***

Amish Dave: Nein! Nein geh shtupid! Ge shtolen!

Jarlot Sr.: What?

Amish Dave: Shomeone ish shtealing mine buttah chunah!

Jarlot Sr.: What?! Someone stole your churn?! Now how the hell am I supposed to get my fix?!

***

Aerith: *walking up beside him* Nice of you to join us. I do hope you'll enjoy your stay, Cardinal.

Upon hearing his title, most of the crew look up.

Crew: :OMG! :devil: :plotting: :evillaugh :schemes:

Krozen: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch:

OOC: How'd I do? I didn't put Terra, Lisa, or Satnak in yet because they're still busy and I need a different atmosphere for what I have planned. I wanted to put Kithle in there, but ideas for how escape me at the moment. He's all yours now. :devil:
rampant

06-10-06, 07:05 PM		Kithle - I got the camera you guys start on him now.

Krozen - Oh....crap
Kaizer_Ryu

06-10-06, 07:11 PM		Kithle - I got the camera you guys start on him now.

Krozen - Oh....crap
That'll work. I don't know why I didn't think of that. :D :thumbsup:
Crystalforged

06-10-06, 07:34 PM		EDIT: Dang, three posts while I was typing this. Just assume this happens immediately after Sa'vor finishes with Krozen.

OOC: I have a feeling Krozen is going to have a LOT of bad dreams.



IC: After Sa'vor leaves his dreams Krozan feels as if he is begining to awaken. Suddenly however he feels a sudden sense of vertigo and all goes black. When the world comes back into focus he find himself in a very different place. He lies atop a patch of yellowish dirt, and as he lies there he can feel the ground gently swell and receed uncanily like breathing. As he looks around he sees the patch of ground he lies on is surrounded on all sides by open sky, sky with bloodred clouds. Looking directly away from the ground he also sees what seems like a massive landmass the size of a continent surrounded by sky blue seas. He would like to describe the land as being "above" him but he is unable to shake the feeling that it is really "below" despite the seeming gravity holding him against the patch of yellow soil. Suddenly a voice behind him speaks up.

Voice: Beatiful isn't it?

Krozen spins around to find a lone Kalashtar standing before him. The is an undeniably unearthly aura about him even without the fact that he is partly translucent and hung upside down, at least from Krozen's perspective, in mid air. He seems completely at home and natural in this landscape and his eyes blaze brightly with a void of absolute darkness, an void which promises suffering beyond anything a mortal mind can comprehend.

Krozan: Who the **** are you, where the **** am I, and what the **** is going on!

Kanatash: Me? Oh I'm just what you might call an aquaintance of your daughter and a friend of the one she is to marry. This, (guestures about him) is the perfection of Xoriat. I wanted to have a word with you so I hyjacked you dreamself from Dal Quor and brought it somewhere I was a bit more "comfertable."

Krozan: So is this another warning like the one I recieved from that Half-dragon? I do believe I got the point he was trying to make when he played his mind games with me.

Kanatash: First, my purpose in this is quite different from his. Second, that "half-dragon" you refer to is an amature in the art of mind games compared to myself. For example I could say anchor your dreamself to Xoriat so you would come here everytime you slept and trust me what you see here is only a sample of the potential of Xoriat.

The blood red clouds suddenly break above him and blue liquid rains down upon Krozen, a liquid which despite it's color he somehow knows is blood. Wherever this blood lands, including upon Krozen's skin, small black plants begin to sprout almost immediately. These plants quickly bud off small egg-like pods which hatch only moments later into severed human tongues which leak bluish blood as the slither over Krozen, attempiting to crawl into his mouth. Krozen attempts to bat the things away with only limited success.

Kanatash: (while Krozen still struggles with the tongues) And that would be one of my less inspired attempts to break your mind. I have an entire plane of madness to draw upon as well as some planes which don't even exist.

The tongues have by now managed to work together to imobilize Krozen by pinning his arms in legs. One particularly large and grotesque tongue is crawling up Krozen's chest with painful sluggishness towards Krozen's mouth which is held open by two other tongues. Krozen's eyes are wide with terror. Just as the tongue is about to plunge into Krozen's mouth Kanatash waves his hand and they release Krozen in unison before burrowing into the ground. After a moment Krozen manages to gather himself and rise.

Krozen: (panting and visibly shaken) So if you're not here to give me the same warning as the half-dragon, why, precisely, are you here?

Kanatash: (leaning close so Krozen can see clearly into the abysses that are his eyes) Because I enjoy it. I enjoy watching your terror, your confusion, your growing hysteria, and I would enjoy nothing more than completely, utterly, and permantly destroying all traces of what you would call sanity. I am the physical embodyment of madness and upon the Forgotten Freedom I am fear by all but the greatest of the ubers. Being given over to me is one of the greatest punishments that can ever be sentanced upon a crew member. Knowing all that I have but one thing you must ask yourself, if you ruin or even moderately disrupt your daughter's wedding, would she hesitate to turn you over to me? If she won't do it, what about her fiancée, who I am such good friends with? Now that I have left you with that thought I believe I shall leave you, perhaps you shall awaken before "they" arive.

Krozen: (voice cracking) "They?"

Kanatash simply smiles and vanishes leaving Krozen alone. Suddenly the ground rumbles as massive tongue-like tentacles erupt from below. They wrap around Krozen and begin to drag him benieth the earth.

Fade to black...
urial angel of death

06-10-06, 10:45 PM		Volrath grabs Krozen, and pulls him into a side hallway.
Volrath: Don't mind them. They are just a tad aggressive. I am the best man of your daughter's fiance. Due to room shortages you will have to share with me.
Krozen: :ahem:
Volrath: Oh, don't worry. It's not like that. If it were you'd be rooming with Dooj. In fact take this ring as a symbol of good will.
As Volrath slips the ring onto Krozen's finger, it releases blades into his flesh. Thus making removal impossible. Volrath opens a nearby door and pushes Krozen into it. Standing inside Krozen see an unnaturally pale elf holding two flencing knive, a mindflayer that is holding an impossibly large meat cleaver, a small beholder who's tongue is much longer than it should be, an incredibly attractive winged woman, and a cloaked man with an aura of regality, hatred burning in each of their eyes. The elf, minflayer, and beholder, begin cutting and piercing and ripping his body, but no matter how much they destroy, his body is healed back to normal within seconds. After what seems to be days, but has really only been a few hours, Volrath dismisses the all except the woman and cloaked man from the room. The woman body warps into a that of Lisa, when she was a little girl. Krozen jumps back and tries frantically to open the door.
Krozen: :gah: No, get away from me!
little girl Lisa: Do you not want me any more daddy? :devil:
Tentacles rip out of Lisa's frail pre-teen body. She continues walking toward him. She is smiling in a way little girls shouldn't be able to. Krozen looks up at the cloaked man. His face is filled with hatred and at the same time a sense of righteous karma.
Lisa: Come here daddy!
Krozen feels a slippery cold tentacle caress his flesh...

OOC: Hope that isn't too much.
rampant

06-10-06, 11:00 PM		Kithle - Volrath Terra Told you to play nice, glad i picked up modify memory. *kizzip*

Krozen - Ugh how did i get here?

Kithle - *Microcosm* Now volrath clean this up and Let me do the talking from now on.

Drags Kroen out of the room and back on deck were the mor elight hearted torture can begin.

Kithle - Besides you were hogging it. :P
Crystalforged

06-10-06, 11:07 PM		Kanatash floats in just as Kithle leaves and smacks Volrath in the head.

Kanatash: What in Xoriat were you thinking! Why didn't you invite me!? I could have shielded the room from Kithle you idiot! Nice work with the elf/lisa thing there though, you've definately got potential kid.

Kanatash then promptly floats out again to go restart the mind games with Krozen.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-11-06, 12:13 AM		OOC: Hope that isn't too much.
Honestly, I don't think it was enough. :devil: Unless you meant as far as descriptiveness. That was great.

And I just had the best idea...

IC:

The following is posted on the boards next to the rules:

Announcement from Captain Jarlot to the Crew of the Forgotten Freedom.

Until further notice, Captain Jarlot wishes it known that all rules do not apply should they directly hinder any and all tortuous activities upon High Cardinal Krozen, provided these activities do not result in permenant bodily harm or excess mental trauma upon his person. Any and all activities normally prohibited by the rules are still punishable by, but not limited to, regular, liquid, or mental keelhauling, or any combination of the three, should they not directly involve the aforementioned acts of torment, unless prior approval of the Captain is obtained.

Under no circumstances is Lisa allowed to read this. That is all.

-Reman Wescal
Endless_Helix

06-11-06, 07:31 AM		Krozen crawls along one of the halls in the Forgotten Freedom. He's pouring blood all over the floor from numerous contusions, cuts, and explosive craters in his flesh.
Krozen: help me...

Klaz walks out of the closet followed by several abberations who look very tired. He slaps them on the wxlschlorp, they turn and wink several of their eyes and make a gesture that could mean "Oh you kid..."

Vrin pops out of nowhere with his Camera.

Krozen: help meee... please... i beg of you... get me out of here...

Klaz: Crikey, those boys know how to have a good time!

Vrin: Uh... Hunh.

Klaz: *turns* Bloody Hell! What have we here? IT LOOKS LIKE A CARDINAL, MATES! Cardinals are a pretty rare species, chums! In fact, there are less than a hundred o' this variety left in the wild! Now I'm going to try and touch 'im! I'm a trained professional so that means I'm completely out o' me mind.

Krozen: wait... where did you come from? hey! I don't know where that hand's been... GAAAAH!

Klaz: Hmmm... Me 'and must still be covered in Aboleth mucus... Oh well, lets do it again, old bean! Now 'old still you little shiela!

Vrin: Dude, we're out of film.

Klaz: What? Oh well, I wanted to get this bit on tape, but that's life in'it? Cardinal, I'm going to show sumfin, just wait a sec.

Krozen: Flame take me now...

Klaz unraps a small roll of paper and reveals it to Cardinal Krozen.

Krozen: What?! Jaela? NOOOOOOOOO!

Krozen is left attempting break through the floor with his pelvis while making strange grunting noises.

Klaz: I think ee's enjoying it, mate!
rampant

06-11-06, 08:07 AM		Chalky - (in a human form) I have a bone to pick with you flamer. (shift to wolf-like form)

Krozen - A Werewolf?!!

Chalky - *bites*

Krozen - AHHHHHHHHHHHH bring me monkshood and silver right now -runs screaming down the corridor-

Vrin - I thought you were just a changeling? :confused:

Chalky - I am, but he doesn't know that and now he's gonna be spending the rest of the day getting over a nasty dose of wolf'sbane laced with paint thinner :D .

Vrin - What is it with you and paint?
Chrys

06-11-06, 10:33 AM		Beryl: You don’t need to worry, To the best of my knowledge we have no Were-beasts on the ship… wait I take that back one of the female red shirts is a Were-Jelly Fish; but I don’t think she can bit any one.

Krozen: then what….

Beryl: He… she is a changeling.

Krozen: Why is all this stuff…

Beryl: Because most of the people on this ship hate the silver flame… and have a sick fetish with Jeala… Also You’re a bastard.

Krozen: Well at lest your normal…

Then a portal opens and the remaining demon lord fall in to a heap on the floor.

Juiblex: sheee luup [We back… We got it…]

Krozen: What is that!

Beryl: Oh that Juiblex demon lord of oozes… and my third in command. My daughter is second… but may I just like my family better then you do. Any way Guys I don’t need it any more Lisa and Terra talk her down… Eh I can still give it to Terra as a wedding gift though.

Zuggtmoy: Wait are you saying that be broke in to Sigl; found a portal to the Dark Sun world… Spent days wandering in a broken and sand blasted waste land… fought a god like druid … only to find out we did it all for nothing!

Beryl: Yep

Zuggtmoy: Oh ok then… at lest we got to see Graz'zt hit on the Lady of Pain, in a distraction atemp so we could get to the portal.

Gram’mar: Ghaaar * starts chasing OoChrys with the hammer gun! *
Crystalforged

06-11-06, 12:46 PM		Suddenly Kanatash pops his head out of a wall near Krozen.

Krozen: YOU!

Kanatash: Yes, me. Now come along cardinal, there are lots of crew members still waiting to have their turn with you, a line is forming in fact.

Krozen tries to run but he suddenly winks out, teleported to another part of the ship.

Beryl: You know I might have wanted to have some fun with him too.

Kanatash: Well, you can get in line then. There are plenty of people that have been waiting longer than you. Now if you'll excuse me, it should be my turn pretty soon.

---

Later Kanatash and Caralot enter the chamber where Krozen has been restrainted. At the sight of Kanatash the Cardinal begins to sweat profusely.

Kanatash: Hello again cardinal, now before I begin, I would like to introduce you to my lovely Fiancee, Caralot.

Krozen: (looking at Kanatash) ...The thought of you reproducing scares me more than the thought of anything that has been done to me so far.

Caralot: Oh my, they must not have been trying very hard. We'll have to change that. Now cardinal I have a little photo album I want you to look at and maybe later we can have do a few "demostrations"...

---

Later Kanatash and Caralot are walking out of the room. They are greeted by Kithle, as they exit.

Kanatash: I think we broke him.

Kithle pops his head into the room to see Krozen sitting on a chair, unmoving, with his face frozen in a mask of terror.

Kithle: Kyber take it Kanatash, I told you we can't do any permanent damage to this guy. Lisa is going to be ****** when she finds out what we've been doing.

Kanatash: Don't worry, I planned for this. Watch.

Kanatash's form twists and blurs for a moment before it resolidifies as that of short and human man in somber clothing.

Man: (In a heavy german accent) I amv Doctor Frueden Von Quakenstein, ze ships psychologist. I amv here zo help you come to terms with ze things you have witnessed.

Kithle: So you're going to cure him? Alright I know there's more to it than that, you don't just help people without some underlying motive.

Man: Correct! While I amv getting him overs ze shock I vill also ve implanting ze deeply hidden psychosises in ze mind. Zes vill not manifest til long after hez has departed but ze have ze potential to do ze great psychological damage. Now it you will excuse me I haz ze patient to see to. (strolls back into the room)
Kaizer_Ryu

06-11-06, 02:47 PM		OOC: Awesome work, everyone. There's obviously a lot of venom towards the little bastard, but far more than has been shown so far. Keep it up.

IC:

After all the abberations, psychotic monsters, and unnatural photographs, Krozen comes across a relatively welcome sight.

Lisa: Hello, father.

Still freaked, he was unsure if this was the real one or not.

Terra: (In his head) Oh, believe me, this one's real. And remember, we're all watching you. So play nice...

Krozen: Uh...um...hello, dear. It's good to see you again.

Lisa: I was afraid you wouldn't be able to make it. I know you're busy.

Krozen: Not so much as to miss my daughter's wedding. I'm very happy for you.

Lisa: Have you met Terra, yet?

Krozen: Well, yeah.

Terra: (i.h.h.) :devil: I should say so.

Lisa: And?

Krozen: She's an...interesting person, to say the least.

Lisa: Isn't she?

Terra: (i.h.h.) Enough with the chit chat. Don't you have something to talk to her about?

Krozen: (i.h.h.) You can't be serious! How can I possibly do that without upsetting her and bringing down the wrath of the crew?!

Terra: (i.h.h.) That's your problem. And remember, the only thing holding the crew back is Lisa's and my requests. We are the only people that can get you out of this alive.

Krozen: Um...there is something I wanted to talk to you about.

Lisa: Yes?

Krozen: It's about...what I did.

Lisa: *cringing slightly and clenching her fists* Y-yeah?

Krozen: I can't ask for your forgiveness, but at least let me tell you how much I regret it.

Lisa: *relaxing slightly* Really...?

Terra: (i.h.h.) And?

Krozen: *flinching* Yes...it was a terrible thing to do. I've come to realize how much it has hurt you.

Terra: (i.h.h.) And?

Krozen: I...I...I'm...

Terra: (i.h.h.) SAY IT!

Krozen: I'm sorry! *runs away*

Lisa stands there, watching him retreat. She never thought she would ever hear that out of him. She wasn't even sure she wanted to at times. But now that she had, it felt as if a great weight was lifted off her shoulders. Terra walks up behind her.

Terra: You ok?

Lisa: Yeah...I think so. You know, it's funny...

Terra: Yeah?

Lisa: It's funny how such a little thing can make so much of a difference, isn't it?

Terra: *nods* I'm just glad he said it. Most of the crew is just looking for an excuse to shred him.

Lisa: I was actually surprised thay hadn't already.

Terra: They haven't because most of them are actually quite fond of you. They are respecting your wish that he remain at least relatively unscathed.

***

Krozen: *in a ball in a corner* I'm going to die...I'm going to die...

Terra: (i.h.h.) Not as long as you play nice. I have much bigger plans for you...

Krozen: *his voice wavering* What do you mean...?

Terra: Let's just say image crystals are some of my favorite devices... :evillaugh
Chrys

06-11-06, 03:40 PM		Krozen leaves the room in a very controlled fashon… and as soon as he is out of terra’s sight he breaks in to a dead run. As he stops to get is breath back, he see a P/Y/R standing there staring at him.

Krozen: Gah! Wha…t are you going to do to me?

P/Y/R: Nothing, that sort of thing isn’t really what I do. I just really fly around and help my mother… and ‘play’ with my boyfriend Volrath.

Krozen: Boyfriend… with him? Why don’t want to want to do any thing to me.

P/Y/R: Well I really don’t care I’m not all that in to matters of faith, I’m friends with Terra and Lisa, but revenge is not something I do. And At the moment I have better things to do that spend my time growing older with you.

Krozen: Ha It seems the others have nothing better to do. What is so important to you.

P/Y/R: I’m helping my uncle hunt.

Aerith: When I find out who replace all my dress with Bunny girl out fit I’m so going to smite them!

P/Y/R: He did it. * Point to Krozen *

Aerith: WHAT! YOU SICK FREAK, I KNOW YOU WERE BAD BUT…!
Krozen: What I didn’t… I just got here…

A large Great Sword appeared in her hands and advances on him as he runs.

P/Y/R: Revenge I don’t do… I just make it so other do. Uncle Juiblex the hunt is on.

Juiblex: Uppprls [Shhh be wery wery quite I’m hunting Wabbits.]

[P/Y/R: Unseelie [Spring] Half-Demon Nymph Beguilder 10 ]
Rei32491

06-11-06, 04:01 PM		Krozen wanders the halls, wondering what would happen next. From somewhere nearby, he hears the voice of the Illithid, Kithle.

Kithle: Ok, next name out of the hat...Nalfein!

Nalfein: WOO HOO!!!!!

Krozen: Uh-oh...

A door behind him opens up and Nalfein steps out.

Nalfein: :schemes:

The world around him swirls and fades. When he recovers he finds himself amidst utter chaos. Many Nalfein's run amock, destroying anything and everything they see fit. Villages burn, people scream, Nalfein laughs.

Nalfein: Welcome to hell. You'll be spending the next 24 hours here. I'm here to assure that your stay is as unpleasant as possible. :devil:

Chains erupt from the ground beneath Krozen, binding him solidly. Nalfein readies a Fireball.

Nalfein: How 'bout a little fire ,scarecrow? :evillaugh

OOC: 24 hours in his mind is like half an hour in Eberron. I'm not hogging him. :bigeyes: :angelhide
urial angel of death

06-11-06, 05:39 PM		After Nalfien finishes torturing Krozen, he goes back to his room. Inside he sees a mechanical skeleton holding two katanas.
Nalfien: Who are you?
Skeleton: I am the Kurantas. I am the type of inevitable that kills those who make bad movie refrences. You, Nalfien, are guilty of making one. Prepare to die!
Nalfien: :mymy:
Chase scene ensues.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-11-06, 05:48 PM		Kithle: You know, I'm surprised you guys haven't lined up to mess with Krozen.

13: I am soooooooo over the Silver Flame right now.

Roosevelt: Never had a personal problem with the guy. He flinched when he saw me. :D

Word Being: My form of messing-with takes too long.

Silver: Crow and I have something planned for later.

Crow: Besides, why waist effort when you can just sit back and watch everyone else do it?
rampant

06-11-06, 06:54 PM		Nalfein - AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Kurantas - Come back here!

Nalfein - dooor dooor need a door, DOOR!

Wescal - What the hell are you doing nalfein?

Nalfein - Big scary movie hating Inevitable after me!

Wescal - Is that so, where is that list, got it.

Kurantas - I know your in there.

Wescal - On behalf of my client I would like to present evidence that you have much more important violators to attend to.

Hands the poor bastard tha list.

Kurantas - -Starts reading- Oi I'm gonna be here all... Your Wescal aren't you?

Wescal - Yep.

Kurantas - Explodes.

Nalfein - AAHHhhhhhh

Wescal - Well thats not much of a thank you.

Nalfein - There is shrapnel in my eye!!!
--------------------------------------------------

Satnak - Their right, I put too much of myself into that dream. NOw that its broken I broke with it. I just gotta get back in the game. I can do this, I can be strong for myself. I have to be the Breaker Prime now. What do I do with this pearl though,... not much except be ready for when its full.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-11-06, 09:00 PM		OOC: Ok, with the update coming soon, I'm gonna hold off on any more guests till afterwards. I've been saving the thread after each post, so when the axe comes down I'll repost everything (with credits). Unless you all want to do something other than this, of course.

As far as I can tell, there is no definite time for the switch, so I'd suggest holding off on any posts after midnight (EST) tonight unless you want to repost them yourself, since there's no guarantee I'll see them.

And my streak starting pages is broken. :weep:
Endless_Helix

06-12-06, 10:31 AM		Excerpt from Ishmael Jr. Journal,

I am afraid.

There is to be a wedding very soon, sanctifying the union between that witch Terra, and that ***** Lisa. Of course that explains why Lisa refused my advances for all this time... She doesn't like guys... but still, a simple "No!" would have sufficed. The hammer was a bit much. In fact, this can be said of most members of the crew. They either like the same sex or different species entirely, like that deviant Klaz or that creepy Andrea. I mean, she prefers life to be competely extinguished before she's ready. I almost ended up dating her! I am very lucky I walked in on one of her "escapades". I still can't talk about it...

Frankly, what I find horrifyingly curious is how much sexual activity happens on this ship. In fact, there is more sexual activity than there is pirate activity. The statistic I learned for what was about average was about once a week or five times a month. Most of these people, though I use the term loosely, "go at it" for several hours a day! And they still aren't satisfied! They have to move into even more demoniac acts in search of pleasure. I've heard there are albums, portfolios of pictures of these unholy unions that are circulating the Redshirt masses. I wondered why so many of us were being sent to the Psych ward...

Knowing the luck that I happen to posses, I will probably become seriously involved in one of these trysts, most likely as a sacfice. I suppose I should prepare myself, and might as well see whats on the crystal ball, I think it's Terra and Lisa at this time of day...
Phantomcrossing

06-12-06, 09:13 PM		Krozen quietly sneaks into the empty mess, looking for something to keep himself alive after his ordeals. He rummages through the cupboards, unaware to the figure now standing behind him.

Norbaz: If you require something to eat, Cardinal Krozen, all you need to do is ask.

Krozen: WHAT!?

The Cardinal spins around and looks up at the towering half giant, who is now seen holding a mess hall tray with a spread of food, including a covered bowl labeled "Chili"

Krozen: Oh...oh dear. Thank you, thank you. You scared me there, young....man?

Norbaz: Half Giant, and ship's cooky. I'm an associate of your daughters fiance, and have long worked beside your daughter on this ship.

Looking up from his food, the Cardinal cringes.

Norbaz: No no, no need to worry. Please just eat up and rest, you'll need it for the wedding.

Krozen: Oh...okay then.

Norbaz: Please, try the chilli. It's the house special.

- - - - - - - - - -
Two hours hence
- - - - - - - - - -

Cardinal Krozen runs through the halls in a mad dash for the lavatories.

Krozen: Privy, by the light of the Flame where is the privy?!

Satnak and Norbaz watch from nearby.

Satnak: So does this mean you've successfully recreated the recipe?

Norbaz: We'll know in a second.

In the distance down the hall are a series of screams "My insides are eating themselves. It burns my skin, I'm blind! My nose is a cucumber!? The pain!"

Norbaz: Huh, the hallucination is a new one...but yeah, expect a fresh batch of 12 alarm within the hour.

Satnak: So, no more murlounds chilli.

Norbaz: Yup, the skills are back.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-13-06, 05:35 PM		cautionary :bump:
Crystalforged

06-13-06, 11:00 PM		:confused: So is the update happening or what? I've got some ideas to post but I don't want to do it until after the update...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-13-06, 11:12 PM		It should be happening sometime tonight. If you look on the main page of the message boards, off to the right is a post by WotC_Mel talking about how the update was delayed until at least the 13th (today). Hopefully it will be soon. It's driving me crazy.
Crystalforged

06-13-06, 11:42 PM		That's something but if it doesn't happen by tommorow I'm going to be out of luck considering after that I'm going to be out of town for several days.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-13-06, 11:55 PM		How many? If it won't be long, I can stretch this out a bit longer if you want to participate in at least part of it. I still have a few guests to introduce, there's the wedding, then the reception, and I'd love to see what Kanatash has in store. If it'll be a while, you can always post retroactively... :shifty:
Crystalforged

06-14-06, 12:52 AM		Hopefully sometime on sunday but I might not be able to get around to posting until monday night.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-14-06, 07:13 AM		:confused: Now they aren't showing the update message any more. Are they done? Can I post my new idea now? :weep: I have such a good one.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-14-06, 08:54 AM		The message on the mainpage of the boards still says they're working on it, so I wouldn't. Believe me, I know how you feel. I'm going stir crazy. :crazy:
rampant

06-14-06, 09:36 AM		That reminds me we've never done anything with cabin fever. ... Wow did you know the uiverse courld make that noise? I didn't :D
Crystalforged

06-14-06, 10:31 AM		More stuff just came up for me, now I probably won't be back til monday however at this rate it looks like the update won't come until then anyways. On the bright side this could be a good oppertunity to get the wiki up to date. I just added Crystal to it yesterday.
Chrys

06-14-06, 12:19 PM		I'd update the wiki but I can't figure out how to work the damn thing :embarrass

Right now I'm Stat out Beryl [I'm bored] ... Damn UPS needs to bring me MY FC1:HoA :waits:
urial angel of death

06-14-06, 10:39 PM		Guys please start posting again. The boards have run into some more major problems and a new snap-shot will have to be taken, at a later date. New boards will not be up for 3 weeks or so.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-15-06, 12:12 AM		Guys please start posting again. The boards have run into some more major problems and a new snap-shot will have to be taken, at a later date. New boards will not be up for 3 weeks or so.
OOC: :hoppingma :banghead: :headexplo YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FRICKING KIDDING ME!!!!!! *sigh* Oh well. It's not like I didn't suspect it after two days and no update...

Now for the next guests. Be somewhat nicer to these ones than Krozen... :shifty:

IC:

Malik Otherro, Captain of the Knights of Thrane, stands before the royal carriage. He was most definitely not excited about where they were, but he would follow his Queen wherever she went. He hadn't seen Lisa in years, and had heard rumors of her exploits (most being less than flattering). However, since the most damning rumors originated from the High Cardinal, he had reason to suspect them. Her fiancee he was less certain of...

The Queen's bodyguard, Dzarro Silvervein, opens the door. Queen Diani Ir'Wynarn steps out, gazing upon the Forgotten Freedom.

Malik: Are you sure of this, my Queen?

Diani: Absolutely. This is my daughter we're talking about. From what I gathered from her letter, most of the crew rather like her. Those that don't live in fear of her and her fiancee. I'd say we're about as safe here as anywhere.

Malik: What do you mean? We're about to enter the lion's den!

Dzarro: Think about it, lad. If these pirates are even a fraction as powerful as the rumors claim, how exactly could we hope to stand against them, even in Flamekeep?

Malik: But...I...er...

Diani: We are here for a happy occasion. Try not to fret too much. I trust Lisa wouldn't invite us if she didn't think we'd be relatively safe.

At this time, a large explosion sounds inside the ship, followed by voices.

Kithle: DAMMIT PHOLLY!!!!

Pholly: It wasn't me, I swear!

Kithle: PHOLLIE!!!!

Phollie: :eek: RUN AWAY!!!!

Looking up, Diani sees a familiar figure waving at them. Lisa runs down the gangway, giving her mother a big hug.

Diani: *oof* I'm glad to see you too.

Lisa: I'm so happy you could make it! I trust your journey was uneventful.

Diani: Dull, actually. But I can already see that boredom is something I will not have to worry about here...

Lisa: :D *turns to the Dzarro* Good to see you again.

Dzarro: Likewise, miss. It's good to see you're in good health.

Lisa: *turns to Malik, nods* Captain...

Malik: *nods back* Princess...

Lisa: Please, don't call me that. Lisa is fine.

Diani: *teasing* Well? Are we going to stand here all day, or are you going to show us around?

Lisa: Oh, of course. I can't wait for you to meet Terra! She'll be here in a moment.

Malik: She?

Diani: Didn't I tell you? The truth is, I was a bit surprised myself.

Lisa: ...good or bad surprised?

Diani: Just surprised. I want to at least meet her before I say anything either way.

Queen Diani Ir'Wynarn
NG Female Human
Aristocrat 5

Heir to the line of Galifar in Thrane, she is more of a political figurehead than a stateswoman. Still, she remains engaged in politics behind the scenes, hoping one day to reassert the monarchy's rule. She is Lisa's mother, making Lisa heir to the throne (if there was one to take). While opposed to what she sees as a corrupt and incompetent theocracy, she bears no ill will toward Sakura/Jaela.

Malik Otherro
LG Male Human
Paladin of the Silver Flame 10

A shining example of a Paladin, he is an upstanding man sworn to protect the royal family and citizens of Thrane. He is, however, constantly torn between his loyalty to the Church and his buried love of Queen Diani. The Queen is actually quite fond of him, but not in a romantic sense.

Dzarro Silvervein
NG Male Dwarf
Fighter 10

The Queen's bodyguard, he watches over the her with unswerving loyalty. While he believes faith in the Siver Flame is important, he loathes the Cardinals for usurping the royal family's power. He particularly loathes Krozen due to his egregious acts of power hoarding and defamation of who he views to be the rightful heir to the throne. A close associate of Malik, the two often work together during the Queen's public appearances.
rampant

06-15-06, 01:23 AM		Satnak - Hey Lisa, This your mother?

Lisa - :eek: , Are you...?

Satnak - Better? eeh a bit yeah.

Diani - Terra? i thought you would be...

Satnak - Older? I would be if my name wasn't Satnak :D .

Diani - Oh :embarrass , so sorry.

Satnak - I've been called worse.

Malik - Lady Satnak this is Queen Diani Ir'Wynarn of Thrane.

Satnak - So? ... OH Formal intros. *clears throaT* I am Satnak The Breaker Prime. There happy or is there anymore rigamorling you need.

Malik - I should say s-

Dzarro - (pulls malik back and down to reach his ear) *whispers* give it up I've heard tell of this one. She can wipe cities off the map, shake whole continents. She wants to be informal, we do this informal, just be glad she hasn't take a shine to the queens job.

Lisa - You should know she ca hear you.

Dzarro - ...

Malik - Crap

Satnak - Their cute when their scared out of their bloody minds. ;)

Diani - haha
Kaizer_Ryu

06-15-06, 03:07 AM		Terra: *sigh* Must you do that?

Satnak: Yes. :D

Terra: *shakes her head* If you insist...

Lisa: *hugging Terra* Here she is, Mom.

Diani: Oh...well then. Pleased to meet you. As you know, I am Queen Diani Ir'Wynarn, Blood Regent of Thrane.

Terra: Wonderful to make your aquaintance. Now...formal title...hmmm...I've gone by so many over the years, and most of them still apply, so how about my first? I'm Terra, Warden of the Woods of the Eldeen Reaches.

Diani: A Warden, you say? So rare to see you outside the Reaches.

Terra: :) You'll soon see I'm far from ordinary. *turns to Dzarro* You must be Dzarro.

Dzarro: I am. From the tone in your voice, you've heard about me.

Terra: Dzarro Silvervein: Former companion and adviser to King Thalin. Currently serving as bodyguard for the Queen as part of a promise to him. Well respected by the Knights of Thrane for outstanding valor and dedication. Has named his axe Jolan, in honor of the Keeper of the Flame at the time of his enlistment. Enjoys sneaking samples of Beesh-berry sorbet late at night.

Dzarro: :embarrass I do not!

Diani: :) So that's where it's been disappearing to...

Malik: How did you...?

Lisa: Amazing, is she not?

Terra: I make it my business to know, that's all. You must be Malik Otherro, Captain of the Knights of Thrane.

Malik: Indeed.

Terra: It may be a hopeless cause, but I think it's darling. :D

Malik: :embarrass

Lisa: Huh?

Satnak: He's got a crush on your mom. :D
rampant

06-15-06, 06:59 AM		Malik - :eek: :mymy: :blush: :embarrass ...

Satnak - Trust me on this one, get out in the open now, holding on that tolong ain't healthy.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-15-06, 07:14 AM		Jaela Jarlot: Ooooooooo. Hold those expressions!

Diani: Your grace?

*FLASH!*

JJ: Okay, now let's get a shot of the queen shaking hands with Terra…good… now one with Lisa and the other paladin and the guard……

Over many minutes the guests find themselves somehow charmed into assuming a variety of poses by this person holding a flashing box.

JJ: Okay, that's all the dragonshard can hold right now. I'd better go and project the pictures.

Diani: Your—

JJ: Oh, I'm not the pontiff. I'm an exact physical duplicate from an alternate timeline in which the Silver Flame never existed. My hobby is creating images. This box here is something I developed that allows light to quickly imprint itself upon a special dragonshard from which I can then project the image onto light-sensitive paper and get a duplicate picture of the scene. (slips the queen her card: )

Jaela Jarlot
Forgotten Freedom
Instantaneous pictures for all situations.
(All situations. ;) )

Queen Diani watches the girl leave.

Terra: Don't worry, you get used to it. She's actually not the only diplicate on board. We have an older version of Jaela who's a clone and a ninja, and we have a hermaphrodite mad scientist version of the captain.

Guests: :twitch:

Just then Krozen walks by.

Krozen: Good morning, Mrs. Fuzzy Logic. How're ya off for spoons? My funny hat is feeling fine today, thank you for asking.

Kantash: Oh KrOzen, I need you to come with me. Come with me and sit on the nice, comfy chair—

Krozen: Not (dramatic pause) THE COMFY CHAIR!
urial angel of death

06-15-06, 07:19 AM		Several tentacles rap around Satnak and drag her into a nearby hallway. At the other end of those tentacles is Volrath.
Satnak: You little! *hand starts glowing*
Volrath: Oh shut-up, little cousin. This is a time for Terra and Lisa. If they want any of us there they will ask.
Satnak: Since when have you ever given people their space?
Volrath: A mother is very precious to her children. They should be allowed to spend time with her as they like.
Satnak: They didn't seem to mind me being there.
Volrath: Neither of them wanted to make a scene about it. Besides you aren't exactly the most negotiable person.
Satnak: :embarrass
rampant

06-15-06, 07:48 AM		Satnak - What was that about cousins?

Volrath - ...

Satnak - In case you didn't figure it out my genetic family is dead. My adopted one consists of a Sister, a cat, an obnoxious older brother figure, and a few friends. Explain your claim or i will kill you in ways that even the great old ones wouldn't be able to handle.
urial angel of death

06-15-06, 08:11 AM		Volrath: My grandfather, Azathoth, gave birth to all of the multiverse. Therefore anytime I call anyone, besides my father or the other two true gods, cousin I am correct.
Satnak: ...
Endless_Helix

06-15-06, 09:04 AM		Kithle: Alright you little runts... I know one of you blew up my favorite deckchair. I don't know which one, so unless one of you confesses, I'll punish both of you.
Pholly and Phollie: *pointing at one another* HE DID IT, NOT ME! HE'S LYING!

Kithle: Oh, well... lucky me, I get a twofer! :)

Pholly and Phollie: AAAAAAAHH! NOOO PLEASE!

As Kithle drags the unfortunate redshirts off, a third pholly steps out of the shadows giggling. He suddenly morphs in Chalky.

Chalky: I never get tired of that trick, hehe.
---
Malik: Shouldn't we do something?

Lisa: Why? The Bastard has tried more times than one would think possible to actually hurt the stupid little buggers, and failed miserably. They'll be fine.

Malik: Uh... what did the little Gnomes ever do to the Changeling?

Lisa: Who? Chalky? I dunno... probably nothing. Odds are he was just bored. No, the Bastard has tried almost everything in his repitoire to kill those two, and they've survived...

Malik: Who're you talking about?

Lisa: Kithle, the half Illithid who dragged the Phollies away.

Malik: Oh...
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-15-06, 11:42 AM		Sa'vor vanishes below deck. there was time for introductions later. better to not overwealm them, also, Family time was precious. you had to enjoy it while you could. you never knew when it could be take from you.
Sa'vor dropped incorpreal through most of the ships decks, until he neared the lower decks. he became corporeal once more. the hunt began.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-15-06, 12:52 PM		More Rules We Have Broken :eek:

…62. Shifters cannot be Catgirls.…

…65. Even if they were I could not make a mansion of them and sell their pictorials.…

…872. No crew members are too get within 30 feet of Jaela. Not even the females. Or the Warforged.…

…1075. Because (say it with me..!) you are not Batman.…

…1097. You still arent Batman.…

…1223. And no you still aren't batman.…

…1246. In fact, you’re not allowed near her [Jaela] at all. Get over this obsession.…

…1265. There will be no cloning Jaela to 18 years old so there's enough for everyone.…

…1163. YOU STILL ARENT BATMAN!! GIVE IT UP, ALREADY!!!…

…1391. You are not batman! And jaela is DEFINITLY not batgirl OR catwoman.…

…1444. Repeat after me. No one on this ship is batman, not even the glidewing shifter.…

…1473. The Chain of Command is a system of determining authority, not the chain you use to beat your unwilling subordinates until they realise who's in ruttin' command.…

1483. YOU ARE STILL NOT BATMAN!!

…1497. We don't have a wine cellar.…

…1502. Its pronounced 'Eye-gore'.…
*****
Silver: Why aren't we having Malik sing some opera song about his love for Queen Diani?

Crow: Because we already did one of those. And because they know. And because it's not as much fun. Country-western, maybe.

Silver: They should have never come up with the whole "grits" thing. Should we introduce ourselves?

Crow: Nah. Let's wait until after the demons invade.
Charles Phipps

06-15-06, 01:12 PM		OOC: I love these family reunions.

Hahaha.
Chrys

06-15-06, 02:23 PM		P/Y/R Walks up to the Lisa and the others wearing the rather oddly snug robes of a female silver flame cardinal.

P/Y/R: Hey guys have any of you seen Volrath?

Lisa: No… where did you get that outfit?

P/Y/R: Oh this that’s what I’m looking for Volrath for, I walked in to his room to see all these old people church type robes… All over the room… inside matching luggage; then When I was looking through it I found this robe. It fit so I’m going to keep it, if nothing else I use it for a costume. Oh I found this too. * pulls out Krozen flame touched Holy symbol. * I was going to give it to Volrath.

Lisa: P/Y/R Those are most likely are my fathers…

P/Y/R: What you mean that old guy who replaced all Aerith dresses with bunny suits?

Lisa: What?

[ok you guy can take it from here, I have no clue how the guest would react. ]
urial angel of death

06-15-06, 03:21 PM		Chalky finally came to after losing himself in the carnage. He had killed 15 redshirts in one sitting.
Chalky: This is a day to remember.
Chalky carves his name into the nearest wall and puts 15 marks under it. As he turned around to leave, he heard a shuffling behind him. Chalky turned to see a green scaled tail dart around the corner and a word carved in Daelkyr on the wall. It was right next to his, and had sixteen marks under it.
Chalky: Oh, it's on now!
Kaizer_Ryu

06-15-06, 07:42 PM		[ok you guy can take it from here, I have no clue how the guest would react. ]Allrighty. I'll give it a shot.

IC:

Malik: You would dare use the holy symbols of the Silver Flame as a COSTUME?!

Diani: Stand down, Captain. What's this about the High Cardinal?

Lisa: He came aboard yesterday. Most of the crew has been messing with him since then, since they hate his guts. He's only alive and somewhat sane now because of me. As for the bunny suits, I have no idea.

Terra: That would be her doing. *points at P/Y/R*

P/Y/R: *bats her eyes innocently* What do you mean?

Terra stares at her with a raised eyebrow.

P/Y/R: :embarrass Ok, ok, fine. Uncle Juiblex wanted to play 'hunt the wabbit' with Aerith, so I switched all her outfits and blamed it on the old guy.

Dzarro: Serves him ri- *looks at Lisa* Sorry, my lady.

Lisa: No, that's ok. He really did have all this coming to him. Though I would have preferred it not to happen, I think of it as divine punishment for what he has done. Maybe this experience will show him the error of his ways.

Diani: One can only hope. But who's this Volrath person?

Terra: A friend of mine. He looks like a 13 or 14 year old human, but in reality he's a Daelkyr half-blood and far older. He can be quite eccentric.

Lisa: That's the understatement of the year...

P/Y/R: He's my boyfriend!

Malik: *shudder* You freely associate with these monsters?

P/Y/R: *hand on her hips, pouting* You're mean!

Lisa: Don't call them that until you know them. Though I disagree with how he goes about it, he has a valid grievance against the Church.

At this time, a scream erupts nearby. Krozen is seen fleeing in terror through a cross hallway a few yards away as a twisted, insectoid form bristling with tentacles follows close behind.

Malik: :eek: BY THE FLAME! What was that?!

Terra: Clarice, Volrath's sister, in her transformed state. Seeing the Cardinal must have set her off. I'll see what I can do.

She kisses Lisa on the cheek then melts into the shadows, leaving the guests more than a little freaked.

Lisa: I guess I'd better explain that little trick of her's... First things first. P/Y/R, I'll agree to you keeping that only if you promise not to desecrate it.

P/Y/R: Ok... :shifty:

Lisa: By MY standards, not yours.

P/Y/R: Awwwwww.... :allalone:
cypher_zero

06-15-06, 08:42 PM		I give up. I was trying to read the entirety of this thread before I started making posts myself, but just realized it's futile. You guys are posting new pages faster than I can read the old ones. I'm just gonna pick up from here.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-15-06, 09:23 PM		I give up. I was trying to read the entirety of this thread before I started making posts myself, but just realized it's futile. You guys are posting new pages faster than I can read the old ones. I'm just gonna pick up from here.
OOC: That's cool. Just know that we now also have a wiki that we post character information on.
http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Main_Page
You'll pick it all up as you go.
Or you'll be like this: :blink: :twitch:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-16-06, 12:08 AM		OOC: I describe the difference between reading the wiki and reading the thread as similar to SRD vs the books. There's enough there for a general idea, but not enough to really get into it. But, at 82 pages, reading this thread is a Herculean effort...

IC:

Terra walks down the hall carrying Clarice, who is wrapped in a blanket. The girl has returned to her human form and has her head on Terra's shoulder. The two of them look rather beat up.

Clarice: *softly* I'm sorry...

Terra: You don't need to apologize. I know what it's like to lose control.

Clarice: But...I could have killed him...or you...

Terra: It would have been more than he deserves. As for me, you saw that I can defend myself.

Clarice: Still...why did you stop me?

Terra: Because it would have been a wasted death. I have grander things in mind for him that I can't accomplish if he's dead.

Clarice: Like?

Terra: All his misdeeds will finally come back to crush him. When I am done, he will be a shell of the man he is now, broken and powerless.

Clarice: What about Lisa?

Terra: She still hopes for his redemption, but deep down she knows that, short of a miracle, it is impossible. I will give him a way out, but he will not take it. Of this I am sure.

Clarice: *drifting off to sleep* Ok...

Terra: *telepathically to Lisa* Love, I'm gonna be a bit. I'm taking her back to Volrath's room and then I need to get cleaned up.

Lisa: Ok. Is every one all right?

Terra: Yeah. I had to fight her off a bit to get her to calm down, but otherwise we're fine.

Lisa: Anything I can do for her?

Terra: Not at this time, but I'll let her know you're thinking about her. That alone should make her happy.

Lisa: Good. I'll see you soon. Love you. :cloud9:

Terra: Love you too. :blush:
Charles Phipps

06-16-06, 12:13 AM		http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Jaela

Speaking of which, we're now adding PICTURES of characters.

Here's the first of the characters to have their own model---animated or otherwise.

Appropriately its the one most associated with pictures.

http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Jarlot

Jarlot couldn't be anyone else.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-16-06, 01:34 AM		:heehee :rofl: Captain. CAPTAIN Jarlot Sparrow...

I'll have to look for something that resembles Terra in my mind. Though I'd love to do a fan art of her, it would probably be classified as a crime against humanity.

Yeah, I'm that bad at drawing. :P
cypher_zero

06-16-06, 01:46 AM		OOC: I describe the difference between reading the wiki and reading the thread as similar to SRD vs the books. There's enough there for a general idea, but not enough to really get into it. But, at 82 pages, reading this thread is a Herculean effort...


Yea, I actually made it up to page 47 before I gave up
Kaizer_Ryu

06-16-06, 02:23 AM		*after scanning GIS for 45 min*

FOR THE LOVE OF KHYBER! IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO DRAW TERRA FROM FFVI WELL WITHOUT MAKING HER CHIBI OR SL*TTY?!

Seriously, how short a skirt or skimpy of clothing is it possible to give her? Can't anyone with talent just make a nice picture of her? I'm just glad I didn't disable the filter. Who knows what would have come up then...

Oh well. I did find one I liked a while back. I'm just not sure I can use it. Does anyone know if it would be ok to use something I got off an open forum?
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-16-06, 06:48 AM		OOC: I always thought Terra looked like Vadania the half-elf druid from the PHB.

And *sigh* I guess I'll have to do this myself. :raincloud
We never broke rule 65.
IC: Jarlot: JAELA JARLOT?! Do the Entities from Beyond Non-existance know something I don’t? And I thought it was made perfectly clear that Krozen was to be left sane?

Mrs. Fuzzy Logic: He is, deary.

Jarlot: :confused: But—you—can’t be—reality— :crazy:

Mrs. Fuzzy Logic: Aw, :( calm down deary. Have something to drink.

Jarlot: :D Yes. That’s what I always need. See the world so much worse after a drink.

Mrs. Fuzzy Logic: And have a funny hat.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-16-06, 10:48 AM		OOC: I always thought Terra looked like Vadania the half-elf druid from the PHB.
The outfit is closer, yeah, but her face looks almost nothing like what I see. Plus there's always the fact that it looks like Vadania's wielding a scimitar or machete. Which are metal weapons. Bye bye Druid abilities. :D

IC:

Lisa has just given the guests the hypercondensed version of Terra's history.

Malik: And you plan on marrying this woman?!

Lisa: Absolutely.

Diani: Honey, I'm not really sure I'm ok with this...

Dzarro: She's very dangerous, to say the least. How do you know she's sincere?

Lisa: Because I have seen her prove it. Since we started getting closer, she has always kept my feelings in mind.

Diani: But that doesn't mean she truly loves you. What makes you think she's just not saying these things for some reason?

Lisa: *her eyes become distant* I have been inside her mind. She opened her heart to me, making sure I knew what I was getting into before we went further. I probably know her better than anyone else by this point, even Volrath.

Malik: She could have been misleading you. It doesn't seem too improbable...

Lisa: I found no inconsistencies, no holes in what I saw. Besides, simulating feelings of that magnitude is just plain impossible. :blush:

*pause*

Diani: ...very well. I won't object any further.

Dzarro: *nods* I'll trust your judgement on this. If you're anywhere near as happy as you seem, this is a rare match indeed.

Malik: ...

Diani: What's wrong?

Malik: I just don't understand how this will work, or how it could have worked to this point.

Lisa: Love doesn't always make sense. You should know that.

Malik: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush:
Charles Phipps

06-16-06, 10:53 AM		Jarlot: I don't see what Terra's problem is.

Ketler: Well DUH, this photo competition needs to be done right. All of these pictures are naughty!

Jarlot: Well its not like Terra isn't slutty or chibi most of the time anyway.

Ketler: Eh?

Jarlot: I'm sorry, booze induced haze makes all women that way.

Ketler: Even Aurala?

Jarlot: Even Aurala. Take for instance how Slip appears to me.

http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/a/abbey1.jpg

Ketler: :blink: Uhhhh she's a lot more....developed than I remember.

Jarlot: Quite so.

Ketler: We need to get into your brain more often.

Jarlot: To alcohol! The cause and solution to all of life's problems!
RedRobe

06-16-06, 10:58 AM		Plus there's always the fact that it looks like Vadania's wielding a scimitar or machete. Which are metal weapons. Bye bye Druid abilities. :D

Actually druids are allowed scimitars and sickles with no penalty to their abilities. Have been since at least 2nd ed.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-16-06, 11:16 AM		Actually druids are allowed scimitars and sickles with no penalty to their abilities. Have been since at least 2nd ed.
Doh! You're right, I missed that part. Still, doesn't seem to make sense to me. You'd kind of figure that if all metal armor was a no-no, metal weapons would be too...
RedRobe

06-16-06, 12:09 PM		Doh! You're right, I missed that part. Still, doesn't seem to make sense to me. You'd kind of figure that if all metal armor was a no-no, metal weapons would be too...

I thought the same thing. I think the scimitar and sickle have something to do with their dual use as tools for harvesting grain, herbs, etc. This was probably to keep the character class in touch with historical druids as much as possible. My Celtic lore is a bit fuzzy, though.
Charles Phipps

06-16-06, 02:28 PM		Pictures for Forgotten Freedom members

(best to copy list elsewhere to link from the board)

Jaela (Live): http://www.gasteroprod.com/IMG/zhang_ziyi.jpg

Michael (live): http://www.girl.com.au/img/clive_owen_kinga.jpg

Michael (anime): http://www.sailorandromeda.com/Cosplay/ashram.jpg

Andrea (anime): http://www.jasms.de/anime/sw/sumire01.jpg

Andrea (live): http://chrissysplace.virtue.nu/nicolekidman/nicole-magic02.jpg

Doog (live): http://www.davidgp.com/imagenes/2005/jayne.jpg

Tifa: (live) http://www.ethiomedia.com/image5/angelina_jolie_zahara.jpg

Tifa (anime): http://ff7ac.net/pages/characters/tifa/tifa.jpg

Aerith: (anime) http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/1886/aerith15qq.jpg
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-16-06, 02:39 PM		13: They're right.

Crow: About the whole "she might be misleading you"? It's true.

Silver: Key word being might.

13: How so?

Silver: You'll need to know this if you want not to exist. Take notes.

Crow: Reality is all suspect. How can one know anything? Like when you were perfectly sane.

13: I don't remember all of that.

Silver: When you're perfectly sane your realize that the fact that your senses can be fooled means that it's impossible to know what is real and what is an illusion. Or ever whether or not real can exist.

Crow: We've all seen those movies.

They watch Keanu Jarlot walk by with a funny hat on.

13: So how does this relate to being an Entity of Non-existance?

Silver: Where we come from is impossible to conceptualize. What we do is not set. Our bodies and minds are not subject to any laws of reality. Therefore, having no known existance, we are non-existant.

Crow: To anticipate any questions, the fact that Terra could still be manipulating things is about as likely now as Lisa planning something. If you look at everything perfectly logically anything is possible.

13: No wonder Jarlot drinks.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-16-06, 02:58 PM		"Random Entity from Non-Existance here, stepping in to do my thing and keep portrayals of these characters in style:
Jaela (Live): http://www.gasteroprod.com/IMG/zhang_ziyi.jpg
"Which Jaela? And unless you change the humans of Khorvaire Jaela would be more Western. Not being racist or anything, that's just how they all look. Blame is on the Wizards. And has anyone else realized that with Jarlot and Brianna as parents that she'd have to be a half-elf? What's up with that?
Michael (live): http://www.girl.com.au/img/clive_owen_kinga.jpg
"This guy is too good-looking. What sort of Michael are we trying to evoke here? 'I'm dreamy yet I can't get laid unless I pay,' is Michael.
Michael (anime): http://www.sailorandromeda.com/Cosplay/ashram.jpg
"Michael? Mr. #2 drunk? Oh, you probably mean this is the exact opposite of what Michael looks like.
Andrea (anime): http://www.jasms.de/anime/sw/sumire01.jpg
"THIS is Andrea? Okay, now I know why Norbaz can't talk to her.
Andrea (live): http://chrissysplace.virtue.nu/nicolekidman/nicole-magic02.jpg
"This fits the whole 'necromancer' thing. Somehow I just can't picture Andrea as being an anime sudductress. I don't care how good you say she looks.
Doog (live): http://www.davidgp.com/imagenes/2005/jayne.jpg
"Doog is a half-orc. Who is this joker? ( ;) )
Tifa: (live) http://www.ethiomedia.com/image5/angelina_jolie_zahara.jpg
"Let me get this straight: Jarlot left this…
Tifa (anime): http://ff7ac.net/pages/characters/tifa/tifa.jpg
"…or this…"
Aerith: (anime) http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/1886/aerith15qq.jpg
"…for this? It's like they're practically the same person. And who is this Aerith in this picture. Does not look all that angelic. Seriously, stop waisting our time."

(OOC: Come ON Charles, these people are bland. Pick something with more life in it.)
Charles Phipps

06-16-06, 03:06 PM		Ouch.

But Professor Caralot will explain.

Caralot: It should be noted that the populous of Khovaire originally hails from Sarlona like all lifeforms but for multiple ethnic groups in fact also came. Most intriguingly, is the fact that Jarlot as a half-Seren is actually partially related to a racial grouping we'd term to be "Asian" in our world. Aerith as herself a half-elf has her human father being fully from Sarlona. Hence, the curiosity of their bloodline.

Aerith: So why is Jaela human?

Caralot: She's not. She's actually a full elf, she just had her ears clipped.

Aerith: GAH!

Caralot: Now to explain Michael. Michael is actually the product of a Solar Deva and a human and as such is fantastically good looking. His brooding, deep, animal magnetism overwhelms most women who come into contact with him.

Aerith: Michael?

Caralot: Yes, thankfully for the human gene pool there has been provided other factors that compensate in reverse to this.

Aerith: What are those?

Michael: *BELCCHHHHHHHH*

Aerith: I know a lot of women wouldn't be troubled by that.

Caralot: Also, Michael has a profound attraction to women with Auras of good and purity. They remind him of his mother.

Lisa: You mean the reason we sleep together is because I remind him of...

Aerith: Well I *AM* a redhead.

Lisa: AH!

Andrea: And necromancers can be sexy too! Hush!
urial angel of death

06-16-06, 03:13 PM		OOC: Here is a more realistic looking Volrath (http://diablo2.gamesweb.com/pictures/cinematics/diablo2exp/bild05.jpg) ( Though he does look quite a bit older.)
Chrys

06-16-06, 03:14 PM		I see Beryl Like The Black haired one (http://www.advfilms.com/CatalogFilms_Detail.asp?ID=4347) or Or her (http://www.advfilms.com/CatalogFilms_Detail.asp?ID=4208)

P/y/R is her with pixei wings (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/fc1_gallery/98457.jpg)

Damn it the links don't work; there they work now
Charles Phipps

06-16-06, 03:24 PM		SUGGESTED actors:

(not entirely sure about these yet)

Aerith: (live) http://elmulticine.com/imagenes/noticias/kate_blanchett.jpg

Kanatash: (live): http://www.iyume.com/blog/upload/christopher-walken.jpg

Ketler: (live) http://www.drworm.net/reanimator/BRIDE_OF_RE_ANIMATOR-76.jpg

Terra: (live) http://www.atnzone.com/uploads/domino1.jpg

Terra: (anime) http://surbrook.devermore.net/finalfantasy/ff6/ffterra.jpg

And out of pirate gear Jarlot (anime): http://sonryu.homestead.com/files/berserk01_guts_1024_.jpg
urial angel of death

06-16-06, 03:36 PM		Domino as Terra :rofl:
Quoriil

06-16-06, 04:21 PM		:heehee Kanatash is perfect!!
cypher_zero

06-16-06, 04:39 PM		:heehee Kanatash is perfect!!

LMFAO!! Absolutely perfect!
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-16-06, 05:36 PM		OOC: Fortunately for me, since Silver and Crow technically do not exist, I don't have to find images for them. Roosevelt would be custom built, Igor is Igor, there is absolutely no picture I can think of for 13, Jaela Jarlot looks exactly like Jaela Jarlot, and the Word Being is CG.

But if you want to try it would be a fun experiment.
And then there's always Caralot.
cypher_zero

06-16-06, 06:28 PM		OOC: Well, here’s my first post. Hope you enjoy it; sorry it’s so long…

Sa'vor vanishes below deck. There was time for introductions later. Better to not overwhelm them, also, Family time was precious. You had to enjoy it while you could. You never knew when it could be taken from you.
Sa'vor dropped incorporeal through most of the ships decks, until he neared the lower decks. He became corporeal once more. The hunt began.
Of late the Redshirts had been getting better, their hiding places harder to find, and their speed quickening. Some of them were even sporting minor items to make themselves harder to catch. Sa’vor smiled. It only made the hunt more exciting, and their blood that much sweeter for the realization that despite their efforts, it was futile to try and escape.

His feet touched the ground without a sound and he crouched low, staying to the shadows. Then he smelled it: Fear. There was a Redshirt nearby and he was dripping with fear, so much you could taste on the tip of your tongue like sweet sugar. I wonder… thought Sa’vor. He hadn’t been hunting in days, what with moving his plans along and the other intricacies of life on the Forgotten Freedom. Perhaps the Redshirts knew this, and feared that the time for another hunt had drawn close. Yes, that was it. They just knew that a hunt was drawing close and then one of their number would fall as always.

Sa’vor reached out to the nearby Redshirt’s mind, seeking to confirm his suspicions, but met only blind, irrational fear. Then he sensed it. There was another hunting here. Someone else was here, hunting HIS prey. He moved down the passage to investigate, drawing forth is black energy kamas to prepare for a battle should it arise.

He didn’t have to go far. This hall opened up to a small room with three other entrances to it, their dark portals obscured in shadows. All the torches here were extinguished and the only light shown from one the Redshirt held in hand, waving about frantically. panic engulfed his features, eyes wide and bloodshot, mouth moving in a silent prayer that he knew would not save him, hand clutching a dagger that he waved about with the torch, shaking as he did so.

Then the face appeared in the shadows. A human face, or seeming so. The eyes opened revealing black where the white should be and irises glowing red. Sa’vor watched as the thing smiled a vampire’s smile, white fangs glistening in the flimsy light of the torch.

Sa’vor saw through the illusion. He’d long ago enchanted his eyes to see through such simple things. The Redshirt however, didn’t and backed away in fear, hand finally dropping the dagger from his shaking grasp. Four obsidian chains sprang from the shadows behind him, short barbed blades on the ends finding purchase in each of the Redshirt’s limbs.

He shrieked in pain and terror as the chains lifted him and drew him toward the shadows. Still howling in pain, the Redshirt gripped his torch all the tighter and the same face came into view, this time with a body attached to it. A metallic claw sprang forth from the creature’s cloak, gripping the Redshirt’s head, forcing it to the side while the creature sank his teeth into the Redshirt’s neck.

The screaming stopped abruptly as the Redshirt’s life was bled from him. His body went limp on the chains that suspended him and his torch fell from his hands. The being drank for a second more before the chains hurled the drained corpse away into the shadows.

Sa’vor stood as the being turned to face him, wiping blood from his mouth with his metallic claws. The creature bowed low then spoke, “My apologies. If I had known that you would be hunting at this time, I would have waited.” He rose from his bow and looked Sa’vor in the eye. “My name is Terrek; I already know who you are.” He gestured toward Sa’vor’s kamas, “And you can put those things away, I’ve no intention of attacking you.”

Sa’vor straightened, but didn’t sheath is weapons. “What are you doing here?”

“I have my reasons for being onboard. Suffice it to say that they have much to do with the prophecy. However, I hadn’t intended to reveal myself to anyone just yet.”

Sa’vor stared at him, running his eyes over his potential enemy. Terreck stood over six feet tall and was muscularly built. Aside from his cloak, he wore only pants and boots, leaving his bare chest exposed. It seemed as though half of it was composed of a fluid-like metal that appeared as silver but seemed to draw all light into it. Other bits of the same metal shone through on his torso and arms, which ended in wicked metallic claws. Four obsidian chains wrapped around his waist and it appeared as though they were connected to his back. Rising from his shoulders were massive wings, like none he’d ever seen before. They appeared as the wings of an angel formed from mithral with blades instead of feathers. Each blade measured at least eight inches long and glistened faintly in the light of the dropped torch.

“I admit thought; I’m surprised you didn’t notice me earlier. I’ve been on the ship for about a week already. I thought it might be a good idea to wait till after the wedding to reveal myself though.”

Sa’vor looked up from studying him and met his gaze. “I thought I felt something down here last time I hunted, but assumed it was one of the other Ubers. That and it felt like a Redshirt, so I ignored it.”

“Yes, well, I’ve been eating them. That lets me mimic them for 24 hours. Contrary to what you just saw, I’m not actually a vampire. I’m a Soul Eater. The fangs are a graft. Anyways, I’ll let you get on with your hunt. If you wish to speak with me afterward, seek me out. I only ask that you don’t reveal my presence to the rest of the crew till a later date. They’ve enough to worry about with the wedding.”

With that he was gone; Sa’vor sensed him in another section of the ship. He felt the pangs of bloodlust and decided to wait to find out more about this new addition to the crew.

OOC: I’ll post the write up of Terrek later tonight hopefully. If someone wants to pick up how Sa’vor would react to this, I’d appreciate it. I’m sure most of you have a better feel for the character than I do and I wouldn’t feel right writing it.
urial angel of death

06-16-06, 07:30 PM		Sa'vor had lost himself in the hunt. That poor little redshirt ran with all the energy he could, but in wasn't enough. Sa'vor was getting closer. Sa'vor could almost taste the redshirt's young blood. Just as he was closing for the kill, Sa'vor sees the redshirt's torso explode in a shower of blood and gore. Streaking free from the blood is a single silver bolt. It then hits the wall beside Sa'vor with enough force to drive it in up to the fletchings.
What's left of the redshirt falls to the floor. This reveals an slender man, holding a spike-spikard in his out-stretched arm. The man has a pair of black angelic wings. His hair is braided into a pony-tail, long enough to touch the floor.
He levels the spikard at Sa'vor, and releases a volley of silver bolts. Sa'vor skillfully dodges each one. He the runs toward the man, kamas drawn. As he closes Sa'vor strikes with his kamas, but each time the winged man dodges the blows with unearthly grace. After several failed attempts Sa'vor feels his kamas dig into the man's stomach. Just as he looks up to see his opponent's wound, Sa'vor feels the man's spikard pressing on his forehead.
man: In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation, Amen.
With that a silver bolt shoots into Sa'vor forehead, and explodes out the back of his skull bringing with it bits of skull and brain.
man: Urial, Terra, Volrath beware, because Dendril is here! I want her back! *brakes into a tearful laugh*

OOC: I had no intention to kill Sa'vor. He still hurt enough to appear dead, becuase the bolt was specifically made to fight undead. The reason Dendril said "God" is that he came from the gothic earth setting. Also word to my players yes you will be meeting him sometime soon. :evillaugh
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-16-06, 08:20 PM		OOC:dont worry about it. the wonderful thing about vampires is, they can reform. so, sa'vors going to pretty :censored: off right about now.

IC: Sa'vor slowly reformed over three whole hours. all the time, his mind wandered over his defeat. defeat. the shame, the humuliation. Sa'vor smiled, at last it was getting intresting. Sa'vor frowned, he hadnt seen the past few events coming. odd. usualy he saw anything that was indagering the flow of time. or anything extremly important to the prohecy's. for short bursts of time he was able to precognate an enemies actions moments before they happened. What gifts the gods gave they took away. oh and how they loved making people suffer, people born to be brilliant flute players. in countries where there are no flutes. Sa'vor savored the taste of defeat.

he focused his mind once more, he hadnt felt this kind of sharpness since he had been defeated when his mother was slain. from that day forward he had desired nothing more than to be undefeatable. the detremination returned once more. Sa'vor smiled evily. if he could not win in brute force. then subtlety would be his weapon, a plan began to form in his mind. and once more thoughts flashed through his mind.
***
Tara saw Sa'vor's essence begin to reform. he would be extremly angry when he reformed. Tara shuddered, if somthing slew Sa'vor. then she wouldnt stand a chance. Tara smiled, Naz'roth wouldnt let the being touch her. and Naz'roth unlike Sa'vor Never played fair. but Naz'roth would only fight if she was threatned. so the crew where on their own. unless she could do somthing ...
***

Feal-Thas notched his longbow. one of his own make, he drew the string back with ease. he let his mind flow along the arrow and plan its path. he compensated for wind and distance. then he fired. sending the arrow across the courtyard. it stuck the target. Feal-Thas removed his blind fold. the arrow had struck the target strait between the eyes. Feal-Thas smiled. showing his fangs. then he drew a throwing knife. he sent this towards the target as well. the knife lodged itself in the Targets throat.

The Target being a Suit of Fullplate over a dummy. Feal-Thas sighed. he longed once more for battle. currently he had no match with spell or weapon. other than perhaps the Ubers. but Feal-Thas was smart enough to know that the ubers didnt need their skill or strenght to kill or defeat him. they where smart or insane. Many a time had Naz'roth, Tara or Sa'vor commented that the most fearsome opponents where those whom had no care for themselves, those that faught with bloodthirsty soulless fury. Feal-Thas had seen a warrior like this before. he had accompenied Naz'roth on one of his "personal training sessions", the Daemon had used his bare hands most of the time. Feal-Thas, born as a warrior and infused with a bloodlust himself. had never seen such a psycopathic and sadistic display of violence in his life. Naz'roth had told him after that the greatest warriors are those that balance their lives and live two lives. one on the battle field. one away. Naz'roth mentioned that he spent his spare time composing poetry or Perfecting his primary career as a Mage Smith.

Feal-Thas sighed, and placed the blind fold over his eyes once more. action would come soon enough.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-16-06, 08:23 PM		man: Urial, Terra, Volrath beware, because Dendril is here! I want her back!
OOC: I weep for your players.
You said "Urial". So have you come aboard now?
And this "her" he speaks of……hmm, this proves to be interesting. But let's let the wedding get on if we can.

IC: 13: Yo, you with the wings!

Dendril: Huh? What?

13: You've got mail.

13 hands Denril several letters with various hearts and fancy writing on them.

Dendril: What is God's name are these?

13: Fan mail I expect. Starry-eyed emo goth chicks.

Dendril: They sound like the vilest form of undead.

13: You could put it like that. Anyway, there's one down in the hold. Just look for the black curtains.

Dendril bows politely to 13, and then set off determinedly.

Sa'vor: Was that really wise?

13: Sending into the den of the Queen of all Goth Chicks. :devil: Yeah.
*****
Terrek walks through the redshirt decks, not doing much.

Caralot: *squeal!* A completely new lifeform!

Terrek: Wha—

*glomp hug*

Caralot: Okay, you're coming with me. I need to collect those samples before you become part of the crew.

Terrek: But I'm not yet ready to reveal myself.

Caralot: Don't worry, I'll keep you in my cabin in the Pokédimension.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-16-06, 09:01 PM		Also word to my players yes you will be meeting him sometime soon. :eek: You have GOT to be kidding me. :surrender

And Christopher Walken as Kanatash is beyond perfect. This thread needed more cowbell anyway. :D

SilvercatMoonpaw, he's talking about the character from our current campaign by the same name. She's coming aboard right now...

IC:

A pale elven woman dressed in black walks aboard the Forgotten Freedom. Her jet black hair covers one of her blood red eyes. Behind her walks a male half-orc dressed in warriors garb.

Elf: Looks like this is the place. Nice ship...

Half-Orc: Cool fire thingy. *touches Earl* OW! FIRE HOT!!

Elf: You really are an idiot, Garr. What do I keep telling you about touching cool things?

Garr: *sheepishly* Don't...

At this point, Volrath walks on deck. Seeing them, he runs over, grabbing them both with his recently added extremities.

Volrath: YAY!! You guys made it!

Elf: *gack* The hell?! You evolved?

Volrath: :D Yep! How's it going, Urial?

Urial: Would've been better if you three hadn't left me with this idiot...

Next, Terra and Lisa arrive on deck. Terra goes over and gives them both a hug.

Terra: So glad you could make it! It's great to see you again.

Garr: :D Garr happy too.

Urial: *looks at Lisa* You must be Lisa.

Lisa: Uh-huh. Terra's told me a bit about you. Welcome aboard.

Urial: You've certainly picked an oddball to fall in love with...

Lisa: Don't I know it. :)

Terra: :D

Volrath: *cocking his head to the side* Uh-oh. Here it comes...

Then, from out of nowhere...

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH!!!!!

As Garr dodges, Muradin smashes the deck where he stood. The two go at each other, furiously pounding away with their warhammers.

Lisa: :eek: What is going on?! Shouldn't we stop them or something?!

Urial: No. They're just saying hello.

The battle continues as Muradin knocks Garr off the side. Grabbing onto the railing, he flings himself back at Muradin, smashing him against the mast.

Terra: They love this kind of thing. Watch.

Garr walks over to Muradin and helps him get to his feet. They do a seemingly intricate handshake before butting heads and laughing heartilly.

Muradin: That fun! Let Muradin show you bar. Buy you drink.

Garr: Woo hoo!!

As the two disappear below decks, Lisa turns to Terra.

Lisa: You really know how to pick your friends. Crazy, the lot of you. :D

Urial: It was never dull, I can tell you that.

Urial
NE Female Elf
Dread Necromancer 17

A long time friend of Terra, Muradin, and Volrath, she traveled with them for some time. In keeping with her classes shtick, she is quite the goth. She has recently been working for King Kaius, honing her Necromatic skills under the Blood of Vol.

Garr
LE Male Half-Orc
Fighter 9/Barbarian 7

Another of Terra's friends, Garr is not really the thinking type. "See those creatures over there? You want those to die." is about all you have to say to him during a fight. Since the group went their separate ways, he has been following Urial, acting as her bodyguard.
rampant

06-16-06, 09:36 PM		OOC: I wonder who would play Satnak? and this would make a great tv show.! :D
---------------------------------

Dendril - HUh? giik

A quick slicing motion and a blur of of escaping shadow later.

Denril - why is there a flipbook pinned to my neck?

Upon use the flipbook shows a quick cartoon of chibi Dendril smashing a wedding cake, followed by chibi Satnak inverting his mesons, then flashing a peace sign and a huge grin. The last panel reads : Don't give me an excuse!
---------------------------

NJ26 - Done and delivered.

Satnak - here he his

Ketler - nooo not the hammer.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-16-06, 09:40 PM		Upon use the flipbook shows a quick cartoon of chibi Dendril smashing a wedding cake, followed by chibi Satnak inverting his mesons, then flashing a peace sign and a huge grin. The last panel reads : Don't give me an excuse!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: That is...the greatest...mental image...EVAR!!!
urial angel of death

06-16-06, 10:02 PM		Dendril: Wedding :weep: I... Noo must keep thoughts on other things.

OOC: Will not be able to post for a few days so do what you want with Dendril, but only Rei or possibly Kaizer (if Rei fills him in) can do Dendril meeting Urial, Terra, or Volrath. There is something special planned for that. :D
cypher_zero

06-16-06, 10:42 PM		Again, sorry for the long post... actually, i think most of my post are going to be long. so... sorry in advance.


Terrek walks through the redshirt decks, not doing much.

Caralot: *squeal!* A completely new lifeform!

Terrek: Wha—

*glomp hug*

Caralot: Okay, you're coming with me. I need to collect those samples before you become part of the crew.

Terrek: But I'm not yet ready to reveal myself.

Caralot: Don't worry, I'll keep you in my cabin in the Pokédimension.

Terrek: Pokédimension!? What the f**k!? Samples?! Maybe I should take some samples of you… specifically your brain… (pulls out scalpel.) I wonder what kind of bonus it would give me...

OOC:
Terrek

Name: Terrek
Race: Human/Living Construct/Aberration
Classes: Combat Sorcerer 1/Artificer 5/Renegade Mastermaker 10/Soul Eater 10/Fleshwarper 10
Alignment: LE

Terrek has been around since before the last war began. He was the first Renegade Mastermaker and has since trained many others. Terreck’s goal is perfection. He believes that by reconfiguring his own body he can achieve perfection beyond anything the gods could ever dream of. To that end, he has replaced nearly every part of his body with something else. His hands are grafted battlefists, eyes from a Bodak, vampire’s fangs, hardened skin, a more flexible spine, extended legs, healing blood, silthilar bones, heart, muscles and tendons as well as nine beholder eyes (these take the form of tattoos around his shoulders when not in use), a third eye in the center of his forehead (again in tattoo form, though usually hidden by his long dark hair), and a whip tail (usually kept hidden inside pants until combat). He also possesses a docent capable of speaking any language, a wand sheath in each arm, a circlet of preservation (takes the form of a black chain around his neck), a rhapsody of pain, two tentacle whips (one per arm), a toungeworm, a greater essence of the guard a dragonshard core, a winged cape of his own design (deals slashing damage instead of bludgeoning and he can hurl 4 razors a ranged attack. Range: 60 ft) and four adamantine chains embedded in his back to which he can attach several different components such as blades or claw-like appendages to aid him in various tasks (reach weapons: 15 ft can attack adjacent opponents. +6 to grapple checks).

Needless to say, he is a formidable opponent and prefers frontal, melee combat, despite being able to cast spells as an 18th level combat sorcerer (sorcerer variant class. See Unearthed Arcana). He’s also immortal and has no intention of getting himself killed. Couple that with his God-complex and he fits right in.

While he has, in his own mind, neared perfection he continues to look for new ways to improve his body. He surveys every new person he meets and wonders if a part of their body might be useful. Right now he’s got his eye on Volrath (“I could always use more apendeges…”). His reasons for being on the FF are still somewhat of a mystery and he has currently only revealed himself to Sa’vor and Caralot (who took him by surprise, which he’s not too happy about).

Despite the fact that he is technically evil, in his own way, he believes he’s working toward the “greater good.” In truth, most of his actions would fall toward the “good” side of things, if not for the fact that he eats souls on a daily basis to maintain his power. He’s also trying to redeem himself for his past by doing good works. These works include creating his own demi-plane on which he “raises” other “perfect” beings like himself. It is in fact a utopian society, but most paladins would be driven mad simply because it’s comprised of mostly aberrations and fiends who are good.

While it’s only technically been 100 years or so since he was born, he actually much older than that, having spent hundreds of years on various other planes and dimensions. That said, he’s incredibly wise, smart and charismatic, due in part to his age, and the fact that he’s spent countless amounts of XP to increase every ability score as much as possible.

His personality tends to be rather serious at times, and entirely humorous at others. He also does not subscribe to the typical ideas of what “beauty” but appreciates the stunning physical beauty of an elf and at the same time appreciates the beauty of Illithids for their power, hence, he is all these things rolled into one.

His one downfall is that he likes pranks. He may be a good guy at heart, but he loves to take things over the top to insane places that they should never go (it’s actually his fault Kaius is a vampire. Nobody’s laughing. Well, nobody not on the FF anyways…) and the more complicated and contrived the prank, the better. He’s even been known to put aside whatever plans he had and focus solely on “getting them but good” even if it takes years to set up (he still chuckles about Kaius, he thinks it’s hilarious and that Kaius and Vol should both get over it.) He has since ticked off nearly every important ruler over the past 100 years and even went back in time to prank Galifar himself.

Skills: Bluff, knowledge (all), diplomacy, craft (anything), heal, hide, spellcraft, diplomacy, concentration, move silently.

Feats: Graft flesh, mithral body, mithral fluidity, artisan feats, fast healing (epic), multiweapon fighting, symbiont mastery

Stats:
Str: 26
Dex: 24
Con: 26
Int: 26
Wis: 20
Cha: 30

These stats are also w/o magic items and enchantments, etc. afterward they look something like this:

Str: 34
Dex: 30
Con: 32
Int: 34
Wis: 24
Cha: 38

(*Note* I actually took the time to write this guy up. It took me like 6 hours! I followed all the rules for creation (items are a tad fudged), though he could actually be at least one or two levels higher due to all the XP spent on wish spells, grafts, item creation, etc. If anyone wants a full write up including skill points, hp, spells, etc. just lemme know.)

Edit: I've already added Terrek to the Wiki. Hope no one minds.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-16-06, 11:39 PM		OOC: Ok, I may as well get this over with. This is the run-up to the wedding. I'll likely post the real thing tomorrow morning.

IC:

Beneath The Face of Tira, the setup is proceeding roughly as expected. The seating was done and the altar and decorations were set up. Jaela Jarlot was busy determining the spots to get the best shots from. Vrin is setting up the video equipment, and Klaz is currently hogtied and strung upside down in Volrath's closet. Nalfein is pouting in the pews after being chibified. Doog is busy skipping around in his pretty pink dress, creeping out anyone he passes (OOC: That has to be one of my best ideas ever :D ). Michael is standing near the back of the setup, anime waterfall-style tears flowing down his face, his features slightly chibified as he blubbers hopelessly. Due to a concern brought up by the Squirrels about being squished, the Half-Dragons had taken over the majority of security detail.

Lisa and Terra sit on a hill overlooking the scene, leaning on each other with one hand behind the others back.

Lisa: It's almost time...

Terra: I know. If anyone had told me this would happen when I first came on board, I would have laughed.

Lisa: *lies her head on Terra's shoulder* I love you...

Terra: *kisses her head* I love you too...

They stay like this for a few minutes, enjoying the simple pleasure of each others company. At this time, Red Cloak walks up next to them.

Red Cloak: I don't mean to interrupt, ma'am, but it's time to start getting ready.

Terra: Ok. We'll be there in a minute.

As he leaves, they get up and brush themselves off.

Terra: What's left to do?

Lisa: I think there's only making the rounds and getting dressed.

Terra: Seriously? Wow, after all that's been going on, it's hard to believe there's so little left to do...

Lisa: Let's get going. They're waiting for us.
rampant

06-16-06, 11:41 PM		Satnak - (Looks at terrek's stats) Thats just sad :nonono: You call that a constitution score? And you want to be an uber?
cypher_zero

06-16-06, 11:52 PM		Satnak - (Looks at terrek's stats) Thats just sad :nonono: You call that a constitution score? And you want to be an uber?

Terrek: (to himself) She is soooo going to get it... I wonder if there's a way to make that arm of her's spit out everything she's zorched so far.... Hmm... if it happened in the middle of the wedding.... everyone blaming her.... :evillaugh :devil:
Charles Phipps

06-17-06, 12:23 AM		Ketler: We've got a problem.

Terra: What's the problem?

Ketler: The Captain is sober.

Terra: This is a problem?

Ketler: Well he's not been sober while you've known him but the few times he is well.....

http://perso.dixinet.com/screamers/SRW/pilotes/pilote/CharAznable.jpg

Supreme Commander Jarlot: People of Eberron! You have nothing to lose but your chains! I address you not as a leader of you but as one of you whom leads! The demented and decadent aristocracy has betrayed the glorious might of Galifar as I offer you a chance for a united realm with a truly Last War! Join me and together we shall at last know true peace! We shall reclaim the lost lands and drive out the Lords of Dust and demons!

Terra: ....the hell?

Ketler: He also has been using your drugs to recruit a fanatical assassins order. They believe they've gone to paradise and returned.

Supreme Commander Jarlot: To this end I declare my absolute dominion over the nation of Thrane and the dissolution of the Church of the Silver Flame! By marrying the Queen I am further now the new King! Accept your monarch with grace and fidelity! I shall rule well and lead you to glories unending!

Terra: Uhhh...

Ketler: Yeah, turns out Lisa's mom has a real thing for pirates. He also tricked Jaela into signing over Regency. He said it was a contract for getting her contact lens.

Lisa: I will NOT have Jarlot as a father in law...

Ketler: Well we could do what we did to Captain Murphy Jarlot and stab him 30 times on the Ides of March. The majority of the blows to the brain. It's amazing he survived that.
Rei32491

06-17-06, 12:43 AM		wrong screen name
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 12:45 AM		OOC: GRRRRR! I keep doing that. And this happens before Charles Phipps's last post.

Terrek: (to himself) She is soooo going to get it... I wonder if there's a way to make that arm of her's spit out everything she's zorched so far.... Hmm... if it happened in the middle of the wedding.... everyone blaming her.... :evillaugh :devil:
Terra: *appears from the shadows behind him* I'm watching you, you little punk.

Terrek: *wheeling around* How did you...? When did...?

Terra: I know most of what happens on this ship. I've been a little distracted as of late, but you've been rather noisy down here recently. Should you do anything to screw this up, so help me I will tear you limb from limb with my bare hands.

Terrek: Hah! You can't kill me!

Terra: Who said anything about killing? Keeping you alive would be so much more enjoyable... :devil:

Terrek: I still say you overestimate your chances.

Terra: Do I now?

Terra becomes sheathed in shadow. Terrek finds himself completely immobile, including his chains. The darkness around him seems to come alive, and he feels his limbs being pulled in every direction. Shadow spikes position themselves at several vital points, ready to strike on her command.

Terra: I have little patience for people like you right now. You are leaving my wedding untouched, or I will drop you so far into negative HP it'll take you a week to reform.

Though he doesn't get the reference, he does catch her drift. He swallows nervously as she releases him. She then disappears into the shadows again.

Terrek: Facinating. I'll have to find a way to get that ability...

At this time, a shadow spike shoots out of the wall and sinks itself into his torso.

Terrek: Ow... Or maybe not...

OOC: After reading so many of Jarlot's D&D books, I though it was time she started using references to them.
cypher_zero

06-17-06, 01:42 AM		Terrek: (pulls spike from chest and studies it as it dissipates) Intriguiging... But she makes a valid point. Enemies are something I don't need... I'll just have to think of... say... where's that retarded Illithid?

Terrek locates Jonny staring at a wall after only a short search and retreats to his demi-plane, Jonny in tow.
rampant

06-17-06, 02:37 AM		Kithle - My schtik ***** *Thwack* Your already ripping my eye tatoos, i draw the line at another brainsucker.

Terrak - Ow is there anyone here who doesn't want to hurt me?

Death paper - *thwack again*

Kithle - home johnny

Johhny - aaaawwwwwww
cypher_zero

06-17-06, 02:41 AM		Terrek strolls through his lab, Jonny following close behind. So many powerful beings on that ship, he thinks to himself, perhaps too many. They grow arrogant in their power. I’m not one to be trifled with, but I hold no grudge against Terra or Lisa. Besides, they’re too important… His thoughts trail off as he arrives in front of a large machine. Dozens of dials, tubes, levers and buttons cover the monstrous machine.

Revealing myself to Sa’vor was a mistake. With only his knowledge of my existence, the rest of them have become aware. He starts manipulating levers and pushing buttons with his chains, using the tentacles to usher Jonny into a giant tube, shutting it behind him. On that ship I am probably not the most powerful, despite my years of experience. But I am master here in my own domain, here I am untouchable. *sigh* So much of my magic, so much of my very soul has been poured into this place… I thought I’d neared perfection, and yet I find these things, so perfect in their own way… I must replicate it! While a god here, I am still lacking there. Why did I ever get mixed up in this prophecy… Terrek’s thoughts trail off again. Pushing another button, the tube Jonny is in begins to fill with a green liquid.

Terrek turns to another machine and pulls a few switches. Steam billows forth from the machine, and a door in its side opens. An illithid steps out from the machine as Terrek looks back at the first one, seeing the liquid in Jonny’s tube turning slightly blue. Terrek turns to this new illithid and speaks, “How do you feel?”

The illithid stares at his own body for a moment before looking at Terrek. “I feel… restored. D*mn that Kantash for destroying my mind so.”

“Yes, well I trust it’s an improvement from your previous state?”

The illithid’s tentacles wiggle as he speaks, “Yes. So much more than you know.”

“I’m sure, Jhonall. I’m sorry you were left like that so long. I was… preoccupied.”

“I’m sure,” Jhonall says, waving his arms in arcane gestures and focusing his mind. “Hmm… My powers are somewhat diminished.”

“Yes. I was afraid of that. There might be other after-affects as well. For now though, I want you to return to the Forgotten Freedom and fulfill you previous role.”

Jhonall’s eyes narrow as he stares at Terrek. “You want me to go back to staring at walls and drooling on things?”

“I want you to stay out of the larger plots and schemes of the rest of the crew, though this shouldn’t be too hard as it seems that most of the more powerful members have fallen into using simple brute force to solve their problems. And I want you to stay clear of Kantash. I know you want revenge for him breaking your mind, but it was your own fault. You shouldn’t have been prying. I want you to stay clear of him or, if the opportunity arises, aid him in some fashion. Gain his friendship. He’ll likely be wary at first so don’t push the matter. I want him as an ally. He and his… girlfriend could prove exceptionally useful, but they are players, not pawns. Remember that. I need allies, pawns I have plenty of.”

Jhonall’s about to turn away and leave for the Freedom when he spies his former body in the tube just as the tentacles fall away from it’s face. “What of my former… housing? What will you do with it?”

“That is for the future my friend. I have plans for it and you may see it again, though you will not recognize it. Don’t worry about it for now. And only speak to me here. There are spies crawling around that ship. I’ve not yet had an opportunity to get my own in place yet and I'm certain there’s always someone listening…” Terrek turns away as the flayer nods and leaves. He makes a few adjustments before turning to look at Jonny. He nods and brushes a stray strand of coal black hair from his face.

Terrek strolls silently from his lab toward his library, muttering to himself. “Negative HP… where have I heard that before… And that shadow energy… I’ve felt it before…” He spreads his metallic wings and flies straight up slowly coming to a hover in front of a ten-story bookcase. He grabs a tome and begins searching through it, “Intriguing…”


OOC: Sorry to do this so soon (again) but the idea just popped into my mind and I thought it might be interesting

Name: Jhonall
Race: Illithid
Classes: Psion 5/Wizard 3/ Cerebremancer 2
Alignment: NE

Jhonall is the restored version of Jonny the retarded illithid, from before Kantash broke his mind. Because of this, he still harbors some resentment toward Kantash, but has instructions from Terrek (who recreated him) to play nice. To this end, he does his best to stay away from Kantash whenever possible and to aid him whenever he can’t.

Though his mind has been restored, Jhonall is nowhere near as powerful as he used to be and his new body is different from his old one, though he doesn’t yet know how different…
cypher_zero

06-17-06, 02:59 AM		Kithle - My schtik ***** *Thwack* Your already ripping my eye tatoos, I draw the line at another brainsucker.

Terrak - Ow is there anyone here who doesn't want to hurt me?

Death Paper - *thwack again*

Kithle - Home johnny

Jonny - Aaaawwwwwww...

OOC: Rampant posted while I was typing so just assume this happens when Terrek and Jhonall get back from Terrek's demi-plane.

IC:

Terrek: (grabs death paper with Tentacle. Death Paper starts tearing at the tentacle and seems to be getting the better of it.) Would everyone stop assuming I'm up to no good? Jeeze... and besides, Jhonall is fine. Better in fact, so call off your crazy chronicle! (Terrek begins to walk away, leaving the dying tentacle in grasp of the Death Paper, but pauses and looks back past his bladed wings at Kithle.) Oh, and another thing. I've been doing grafts since before you were a twinkle in your mother's eye. Don't even begin to think that I "ripped" the eye tattoos from you. I know for a fact that you got the idea from Igor, and he's served me in the past. I got the idea straight from a Dalkyr. You've all grown too secure in your power. I'm not here to shake things up, but I will if need be.

Terrek swiftly fades into the shadows as the Death Paper finishes off the tentacle.

Kithle: Jhonall? WTH? (Jhonall has already disappeared into the bowels of the ship, eager to get away from the conflict. Kithle looks down at the deceased tentacle) Hmm... this may be useful. (He grabs it and the Death Paper and walks off, lost in thought.)

-----------------------------

Terrek: (now back in his own plane, reading through tomes again.) D*mn, lost a tentacle. (One of his chains grabs a jar from a shelf almost absentmindedly. A tentacle slides out of it and attaches itself to Terrek’s outstretched arm.) Perhaps he can make use of it though… Ah! Here’s what I’m looking for…
rampant

06-17-06, 03:17 AM		Kithle - I love these paint bombs, its the best aspect of a landmine, a tangle foot, a fearie fire, and a color spray all in one. Lets set these to this detenator. Oh Chalky bring me some of the duster rockets would you.

Chalky - Sure what color?

Kithle - Two blues and five yellows.

Roosevelt - Are you sure this is gonna work.

Kithle - Nope

Chalky - Good or I'd have to send him to get his head examined.

Lisa - What are you doing?

Kithle - Nothing to worry too much about, ... just make sure to keep the cake away from this area.

Chalky - Its gonna be a wedding gift :D

Roosevelt - Though I'm not sure about some of this he's being liberal with the paint mines, and even that shouldn't account for how fast they are dissapearing.

Lisa - ... Yeah whatever just don't screw things up more than usual.

----------------------
OOC: If he's on this ship longterm he's gonna cause trouble, its a requirement. Just think of it as hazing the New Guy.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 03:24 AM		Would everyone stop assuming I'm up to no good? Jeeze... OOC: Just so you know, Terra wasn't assuming he was up to no good in general, she's just a little stressed about the wedding. She heard him planning a prank for during the wedding and felt she had to nip it in the butt ASAP. She currently has no problems with him otherwise.

And 'Hazing the New Guy' does seem an appropriate phrase.
cypher_zero

06-17-06, 03:27 AM		OOC: I know that, but to Terrek it probably seems like everyone's assuming that. In his mind, it's just a harmless prank.


OOC: If he's on this ship longterm he's gonna cause trouble, its a requirement. Just think of it as hazing the New Guy.
Of course he's going to cause problems... just not right away hopefully.

Oh and I forgot to mention something: The Rhapsody of Pain are actually a set of skull earrings that make him constantly under the effects of the Masochism and Sadism spells (Book of Vile Darkness). He's a sadistic masochist. Ya'know, hurting people and being hurt are pleasurable for him... makes things interesting... And for those of you that aren't familiar with the Soul Eater prestige class: His touch bestows two negative levels and makes him stronger. That extends to everything that's a part of him, including the chains (not the tentacle whips though, cause they're technically a separate entity.) If he drains someone entirely, they turn into a wraith under his command and he can assume their form and powers for 24 hours.

There's a lot more stuff too, but I'll get around to it when it's pertinent.

.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-17-06, 07:24 AM		Terra hears a shriek from down on the field. Looking up she sees Silver's god form (the multi-headed snake {OOC: and I'd like to point out that I use the word "god" to refer to all deific beings whatever their gender}) floating above the wedding area. Malik and Dzarro already have their weapons out, Lily and Feralyn seem about ready to fire off, and many of the other guests are fleeing.

Terra: Damn her. HEY, SILVER!

Silver flits over to Terra.

Terra: When I said you could be the fertility goddess I didn't mean you should appear in your true form.

Silver: Oh, okay. *transform pop*

Silver flies back over to take her seat in the front row.

Crow (currently in dove form): Everything ready?

Silver: I sent 13 ahead in time to check for unexpectable problems.

13: Krozen has a long list of embarrassing deeds. And that includes the sick and twisted ones.

Crow: We'll make sure to interrupt him early.

13: But during the reception. Let's get some people married first.
*****
Lisa is sampling a few of the dishes set out by Erk's staff.

Lisa: MMMMMM!!! What's in this……devil's angel cake?

Greyfeline: :devil: :angel:

Lisa: I'm sorry, I don't think I understand…however it is you communicate.

Erk: Oh, he's saying it's got devils and angels in it.

Lisa: :confused: :mymy:

Erk: Seems a bunch of ninjas tried to poison the food last night. Fortunatley the food dealt with them.

Lisa: The food dealt with them?

Sarlonan dish: Waaaaiiiiiiiii-soooooooooo! (karate pose)

Karrnathi dish: *ride of the valkyries*

Shadow Marsh dish: *orc battle cry*

Lisa: :uh-huh:……………I think I'll just ignore—

Erk: And there was even enough left over to make several of those cakes. Greyfeline says they're a specialty of his.

Lisa (slowly): Well, that would explain the feathers on my dress.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-17-06, 07:57 AM		a symbol forms on the ground. the symbol is a pentagram with a black moon obscuring the sun. black flames flow across the lines of the symbol. at each of the pentagrams five beacons of red light flow high into the air. a bolt of energy fires from the symbol they strike the air above the pentagram and a rent in reality forms. a portal forms and crackling bolts of lightning flow from it (not harming any of the guests of course).

a figure begins to appear in the pentagram, hazy at first but then it becomes clearer the figure appears as a seven foot tall lithe humanoid with alabaster skin. his black hair ripples behind him, he wears a ancient suit of black armour of a lot like Sa'vors, except there is an emerald rather than a ruby. in the humanoids left had is a large circular black shield with the same symbol as in the centre of the pentagram. on the shields outward edge is a wicked blade. behind the figure a crimson cloak trails fluttering in the breeze, a torque with a pair of emeralds in it blazes with green fire. The Figures right hand is free. It’s ears are pointed like an elf’s and his face displays astounding features. two black feathered wings are folded behind him. the figure smiles at the stunned guests, the black flames vanish. leaving the blackened grass in the form of the symbol.

A black robed and hooded feminine figure forms, beautiful face is the colour of alabaster as well. her colourless eyes take in the guests around her. she lowers her hood to reveal her mid length hair. a black rune curves across her left eyebrow.

Tara: Naz'roth, you where told by Terra that you where not to manisfest in such a spectacular way. it frightens the guests.

Naz'roth: *smirks* couldnt help it. * waves a hand over the burnt grass, it becomes living once more* anyway. with sa'vor being defeated in battle and a new entity supposedly on this ship i thought i'd make a entrance.

Tara: *taking his arm* well. lets introduce ourselves to the new guests.
cypher_zero

06-17-06, 08:57 AM		No one's going to mention the "crazy chronicle?" :( I thought it was rather witty...
.
Charles Phipps

06-17-06, 10:18 AM		No one's going to mention the "crazy chronicle?" :( I thought it was rather witty...
.

Don't feel bad. I liked it, it's just that so much is posted its impossible to get to it all.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-17-06, 12:01 PM		OOC: Hey, Crystalforged, I thought Kantash was supposed to get pregnant! Did you forget or are you just waiting? I can wait for after the wedding with Kaizer_Ryu. (In related question, where are Terra and Lisa going on honeymoon? I'd like to design something. :evillaugh)

IC: Fluffy: :zzz:

Quench: *Rrrrrrrrrruff!* :drool:

Fluffy: :bored: *LIQUID-FIRE BRE—*

Satnak: (clamp Fluffy's mouth) Okay, you two, let's not have this during the wedding.

Caralot: Seriously, I thought you were infatuated with Spleen-Eater, Quench.

Silver: Oh, Quench can't stand seeing him with Marish.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 01:10 PM		OOC: They'll be going soon after the reception. They'll be gone for a while after that. And Crystalforged said he'll be gone till Monday at least.

IC:

Urial: *sees Naz'roth's entrance, raises eyebrow* Terra was right, you are a bit of a showoff.

Naz'roth: :D What can I say? I like an entrance. Though I am surprised at how calmly you took it.

Urial: Oh, don't get me wrong, it was impressive. It's just that I spent half a century traveling with a dealkyr half-blood. Not much surprises me anymore. Though I do like your outfit. Very Dark Lord-ish.

***

Aerith: I was hoping mine would be pink...

Santak: I don't do pink.

Aerith and Satnak have finished getting dressed and are helping Lisa get ready.

Lisa: I think it looks wonderful on you.

Aerith: Thanks, but you are absolutely stunning. Terra's gonna go catatonic when she sees you.

Satnak: I'd pay to watch that. Good thing I'm getting a front row seat. :D

***

Ketler: Remember, this is only temporary.

John: :D I HAVE ARMS!!!!

Ketler: They come off after the wedding. Captains orders.

John: :weep: Noooooooo.....

***

P/Y/R: Oh, you're so beautiful!

Terra: :blush: Thanks.

Caralot: I agree, though I'm still disappointed you're not using the Chibi wand...

Terra: Did you see Nalfein?

Caralot: Yeah. But I wanted to see you and Lisa Chibified again. I don't think I could stand the sheer amounts of adorableness.

Terra: Maybe later.

P/Y/R: Ooooooo! Can I see Volrath chibi? I missed it last time!

Terra: *smiles* We'll see.

***

Volrath: You know what the difference is between you and me?

Nyarlathotep: What?

Volrath: *puts on his sunglasses* I make this look good...

***

Diani: Oh, honey! You're so dashing!

Supreme Commander Jarlot: I know. *strikes a Zap Brannigan pose*

Dzarro: What are we gonna do about this, Malik? ...Malik?

Malik: :weep: :weep:

***

Lilly: So you mean that's your true form?

Silver: Yep. I usually stay like this to avoid scaring people. Makes it easier to do random things when everyone's at ease.

Feralyn: You scared the daylights out of us! Why'd you make an entrance like that?

Silver: Even entities that don't exist cant help themselves sometimes. :devil:

***

Klaz: 'ello? Mates? This ain't funny! Crikey, I wanna see the reah and beautiful pairin' o' two lovely shiela's...

***

Michael: *still blubbering hopelessly* :weep: :weep:

Doog: Man, he's been there since yesterday. You'd think he'd have dehydrated by now from all the tears...

Chibi Nalfein: It's a side effect of the anime style he's in. Endless tears.

***

Completely oblivious to all else, Muradin and Garr are still in the bar, getting blackout drunk.

Erk: Ok, guys. Time to wrap it up. The wedding is starting soon.

Muradin & Garr: NO! MORE BOOZE!!

Erk: *sigh* Fine. Here.

He passes them each a glass filled with a bubbly liquid. They chug it in one gulp and become instantly sober.

Muradin: Awwwww.....now Muradin not Drunken Master...

Erk: *groan* That's not how it...nevermind...

***

Norbaz: Ok...calm down...I'm just seeing if she's ready...

He goes to knock on Andrea's door when it opens. He stands there frozen as she emerges in a lowcut black silk dress.

Norbaz: :eek: :eek: I-I-I...*begins frothing at the mouth*

Andrea: *sigh* You're hopeless...*drags him away*

***

Tabitha: Name please?

Paladin: Ummm...Random Paladin of the Silver Flame...?

Tabitha: Ok, that makes you the 14th one of those... Here's your number so we can keep track of all of you. The Neogi over there will take your gift. After that, wait in line and one of our ushers will show you to your seat.

***

Cuddles: Do you think we should get going?

Marish: One more time?

Cuddles: *laughs* All right. You're insatiable. (OOC: Rei is currently trying to burn out his eyes. It's hilarious. :D )

***

Krozen: *shaking uncontrollably under a bench* Please don't kill me...

Clarice: *softly* I won't as long as you behave.

Kanatash: Don't worry, dear. He will. He still needs to give Lisa away.

Clarice: Are you giving Terra away, uncle?

Kanatash: Uh-huh.

OOC: Ok, I'll get the whole thing up later today.
rampant

06-17-06, 01:27 PM		OOOC: There's only one way to respond to that, Insane maniacal laughter , ehem : MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHKEEEEE EEEEKKKKEEEEEEEEKEEEEEKEEEEE
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-17-06, 01:51 PM		OOC: They'll be going soon after the reception. They'll be gone for a while after that.…

…Aerith: Thanks, but you are absolutely stunning. Terra's gonna go catatonic when she sees you.
OOC: Where? WHERE?? And—not that it's any of my business—the wedding dress now has real angel feathers on it.
Lilly: So you mean that's your true form?

Silver: Yep. I usually stay like this to avoid scaring people. Makes it easier to do random things when everyone's at ease.

Feralyn: You scared the daylights out of us! Why'd you make an entrance like that?

Silver: Even entities that don't exist cant help themselves sometimes. :devil:
Silver: Besides, you should see Crow's true form.

Feralyn: You know what, I think I'll pass.
Cuddles: Do you think we should get going?

Marish: One more time?

Cuddles: *laughs* All right. You're insatiable. (OOC: Rei is currently trying to burn out his eyes. It's hilarious. :D )
Silver: :dancin: Who da god? I'm da god!
Kanatash: He still needs to give Lisa away.
OOC: Don't hate me for what I am about to do.
IC: Krozen is lead to where Lisa is waiting, behind a bower of Terra's own flowers. His body is passively being non-magically dominated, but his eyes still suggest a desire to escape.

Lisa: Well, this is it. I'm not sure I'm any more comfortable about this than you are. But we're father and daughter: I should acknowledge that at least at my wedding.

She holds out her arm for Krozen to take. His hand moves in hesitant jerks. Suddenly it stops.

Krozen: No.

Lisa: No.

Silver: You removed the funny hat?

Krozen: I will not go through with this…this cherade.

Crow: Guess that was a bad idea.

Lisa: What? You're still going to say I'm not your—

Krozen: YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER! There, I admit it. But you can't force me to care for you. My spirit is my own—

Crow: Since when did Krozen develop a spine?

13: Not sure, but we'd better…

Krozen: —and if you wish to break me than you are no better than those worhsippers of the Flame who—

13: As much as we hate to interrupt this little moment of freedom, we'd like to get this wedding over with.

13 steps up to ear level with Lisa and whispers something to her.

Lisa: :mymy:

Silver grabs one of Krozen's arms, and Crow lands on his shoulder.

Silver: Now, if you cooperate…

Crow:…Lisa won't reveal your embarassing little secret.

Krozen: *humph* Do your worst. Why, I would go out there myself—

Silver: Yeah, we have it in list form.

Crow: It's not any of those.

Lisa: It's the one, oh how shall I put it? :smirk: The one you like to do every time Olarune is full?

Krozen: :OMG!……………… :surrender

13: There's a good boy—we have to go guys.

Silver, Crow, and 13 zip off in Terra's direction.
*****
Klaz (wearing a funny hat): Crickey! Here we have one of the rarest sight you'll ever see: a sheila about to marry a sheila. Now I'm gonna touch her. Don't do this at home, because as an expert—

Terra: —you are certainly out of your mind this time. Aren't you supposed to be locked up? :hoppingma

Crow: We're here, don't worry. Okay, full power everyone!

Klaz is reduced to nothingness.

Terra: How in all of Shavrath, Khyber, and Caralot's photo album did he get out?

Silver: And he was wearing a funny hat…
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 02:05 PM		the wedding dress now has real angel feathers on it.OOOOOOOOO!!!!!! That's awesome! I love it!

EDIT: Something I forgot:

OOOC: There's only one way to respond to that, Insane maniacal laughter , ehem : MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHKEEEEE EEEEKKKKEEEEEEEEKEEEEEKEEEEE :D :D :D :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-17-06, 02:20 PM		OOOOOOOOO!!!!!! That's awesome! I love it!
OOC: Heck, it's just a leftover from a longer plot I had. I figured it'd be an appropriate joke for the end of that post. Glad you like it. I give myself a cookie. :cookie:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 03:03 PM		Krozen: (in his head)I still can't believe I'm doing this. She's no better than I am...

Terra: (telepathically) She's not the one who forced you into this position. I am. Lisa is the most important person in the world to me, and I will do whatever it takes to make her happy. Though you may not care for her, all she wanted was for you to acknowledge her.

Krozen: (i.h.h.) Which I did! Why am I still in this position?!

Terra: (i.h.h.) Because I want you to see what you've missed by rejecting her for so long. Watch as your daughter, who turned out wonderfully despite your efforts, moves on with her life. I want you to imagine what it could have been like if you hadn't run away from her.

Krozen: (i.h.h.) You think I care?!

Terra: (i.h.h.) You say you don't, but I wonder how you'll feel when you return to Flamekeep. Locked away in your room, fearful of even your own shadow.

Krozen: (i.h.h.) I am the High Cardinal! I rule Thrane in all but name! What more could I want?!

Terra: (i.h.h.) You are pathetic, Krozen. You call us scum, but at least we have the courage to live. I thought your experience here would show you how much your much vaunted 'power' is worth. Once it is gone, what then? Can you really look back and say your life was worth the journey?

Krozen: (i.h.h.) Ye-

Terra: (i.h.h.) Don't answer yet. Go back to your old life and live it for a few days. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask this question again. We'll see how you really feel...

OOC: Sorry, it'll be a little longer. I promise to do it sometime tonight.

EDIT: I just realized I never answered SilvercatMoonpaw's question on where they were going. They'll be Plane-hopping for a while. The Plane of Shadow links to most (if not all) of them, and Terra's a strong enough Sorcerress to cast Plane Shift as well, so no problems there. Believe me when I say I'm going to have endless fun with this. :devil: :plotting: :evillaugh :schemes:
cypher_zero

06-17-06, 03:31 PM		Terrek looks up from the machine he’s currently working on to glance at the huge grandfather clock on the wall. It’s almost time, he thinks to himself. I need to get ready. He puts down his tools and casts several spells, bathing himself in white light. The light fades away and Terrek inspects his form. The wings, chains, tentacles, gauntlets and tattoos have all been hidden and he wears a pure white glamerweave tie-less suit, chosen for its contrast to his dark eyes and hair, with the jacket left unbuttoned. He waves his hands in a few more arcane gestures and a portal opens to the wedding procession, about to begin. He grabs his gifts to them from the table; a jar of silver flame and a small earthen satchel containing a long vine. He puts these inside a small pouch hidden on the inside of his jacket, then shoves his hands into his pants pockets and strolls through the portal whistling. Perhaps these will help to soothe some of the tension that seems to have built up because of my presence, the thinks, moving through the gathered crew and guests, oblivious to the curious looks he gets from the non-ubers.

He stands behind the back row of seats and sees Michael bawling like a little girl. This won’t do. It’s a wedding, it’s supposed to be a happy time. He waves his hands and says a few words to form the illusion over Michael’s face, creating an exceptionally convincing image of Michael trying to look happy for the girls. Michael continues crying under the illusion, completely unaware. Well, it won’t fool the more powerful people here, but it looks genuine enough…
.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 03:39 PM		Michael continues crying under the illusion, completely unaware. Well, it won’t fool the more powerful people here, but it looks genuine enough…Awwwww....but it's funny.... Oh well. At least he's still doing it.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-17-06, 03:43 PM		Sa'vor stands in his security unfiform. surveying the scene. Slip leans over and whispers in his ear

Slip: where the pholly twins?

Sa'vor: *smriks* they where a security risk. so i had then removed

Slip: you finaly manged to kill them?

Sa'vor: *sigh* unfourtunatly no. but i've kept them busy for a while.

Slip: how?

Sa'vor: *eviler smile* you'll see.

***
somwhere in the depths of the forgotten freedom an abnormaly large geletenus cube takes up an blast proof cell. within this geletenus cube float the figures of the Pholly twins. their mouths open in silent screams.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-17-06, 04:27 PM		EDIT: I just realized I never answered SilvercatMoonpaw's question on where they were going. They'll be Plane-hopping for a while. The Plane of Shadow links to most (if not all) of them, and Terra's a strong enough Sorcerress to cast Plane Shift as well, so no problems there. Believe me when I say I'm going to have endless fun with this. :devil: :plotting: :evillaugh :schemes:
OOC: Plane-hopping? Oooohhhhhh, yyyyyyyyeeeeeeessssssss. That'll work. :shifty:
IC: Crow: Does Micahel count as the person who always crys at weddings?

Silver: Nah. It turned out to be Jarlot.

Crow: That is………totally believable.

Silver: *sigh* Well it's too bad we had to use up our fun to force Krozen into this.

Crow: Oh, I don't know. Now Lisa knows. That's probably good enough.

Silver: Well at least I got them a gift.

Crow: You're just lucky no one can return those. :nonono:

Silver (lean back): So I guess Krozen's little "prediliction" isn't going to have any effect—

*tingly*

Silver: :blink: It didn't.

Crow: It did.
******
A few bricks fall out of the wall of a nearby non-descript building. A white-furred form crawls out. It stops to pant, but only for a moment. Though most of its brain is consumed by animal fear a small part still remains that can think rationally. It's ears pick up the noise of the wedding. *Yes, that's it! Go there!* The form races off in that direction.

OOC: Don't worry, this won't interrupt the wedding. But it'll be fun. Trust me.
MMMMMMMWWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 05:55 PM		OOC: Ok, I'm in the process of finishing the wedding post. I'm going to do the whole thing at once, so if there's anything you still want to do beforehand, DO IT NOW! They will be milling about for a little bit afterwards before going to the reception, so you can do things then, too. I'll post the opening to the reception after a while, then let everyone do their bit (toasts, etc.). I really hope I get this as perfect in print as it is in my head. If planning something like this for a fictional character is this stressful, I don't think I even want to KNOW what it's like in real life. ;)

Oh, and SilvercatMoonpaw, thanks for the angel wings idea. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to expand on it a little. It gave me a great idea for some meaningful imagery as part of the setting.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-17-06, 07:30 PM		Oh, and SilvercatMoonpaw, thanks for the angel wings idea. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to expand on it a little. It gave me a great idea for some meaningful imagery as part of the setting.
OOC: That's okay. I plan to make some noise, so it balances out.
IC: Lucky has just checked with Erk about the food—and checked with Erk, Mr. T, and Sa'vor about the cash bar (hoping to discourage too much drinking it's not free)—and then hurries back to catch a good seat. Erk wouldn't be coming to the ceremony: Erk the minortaur didn't really understand "marriage", and Word Being felt that a wedding was the least engaging part of romance to watch. Besides, being a god of weird tricks it could just rewind time perspective to attend if it felt like later. Tony would also not be attending, but that was more to do with a slightly nervous feeling he had around so many Silver Flame people.

But as Lucky was just leaving the food tent, she thought she saw something white streak between a corpse of trees and one of the massive floral decorations that Terra had grown. Lucky approached cautiously. Focusing her concentration, she activated a new ability that she had learned: a detection spell that could tell her if a certain type of creature was in its area. She concentrated on animals. There were of course many fractional readings on the flowers, but there was one, fading in and out. Lcuky didn't know what that meant. She'd heard about the poisoning ninja devils and angels. Could this be another hazard?

Roosevelt: Yo, Luck, you okay?

Lucky turned…and saw Roosevelt wearing a dark suit and sunglasses. Instantly any thought of other danger were driven from her mind as she tried not to laugh.

There was a flash from in front of them. Lucky was momentarily blinded. When she could see again she found that it was JJ taking coptious pictures of Roosevelt.

JJ: Beautiful, beautiful. That's it. Give me a little more brow movement—that's it. Lucky, work that transformed bod.

Saberiel extricated Lucky from the photo-shoot before anything happened. Lucky furiously tried to remember why she had been so intent on the floral arrangments, but she was distracted by the sight of Saberiel's dress. Or lack thereof.

Behind all of them a white blur dashed into a corner of the food tent.

OOC: This won't affect the wedding. Please leave it to me.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 09:03 PM		OOC: I really hope I did this right. I don't think I've ever been this nervous about posting something. I've been going over it again and again, but I still feel like I'm missing something. Maybe it's just the 4 hour long sermon that has nothing to do with the wedding that I'm used to... :D :P .

IC:

The following wedding has been brought to you by Dragonmeat Den. 50% off if you kill it yourself.

The sky glows reddish orange as the sun sinks below the horizon. A light breeze wafts across the grassy plains stretched out before The Face of Tira as the guests take their seats. In front sit the guests of honor. On the left are Terra’s. Muradin and Garr sit unusually quiet, knowing that this is important to their friend. Urial, still in her black dress, sits brooding next to Red Cloak. Lilly and Feralyn take their place next to her in their brown and off-white dresses (respectively).

On the right sits Supreme Commander Jarlot in formal dress fitting his new station. Queen Diani is next to him in flowing royal robes, clinging to his arm. Dzarro and Malik sit beside them in their Silver Flame uniforms. Behind them are several Paladins and Clerics of the Silver Flame. Spread throughout the seats behind them are various members of the crew.

The guests fall silent as soft music begins playing. Doog skips up the isle, happily spreading flower petals as they look on in horror. A little ways behind him walks Pontiff Jaela in her complete Pope’s regalia.

After she reaches the altar, Volrath (flanked by P/Y/R and Caralot) makes his way up the isle as well. Aerith and Satnak walk a short distance behind them with John already at his place near the altar (This was to avoid injury, as the FF is rather large and unwieldy. Removing John from it was deemed unfeasible). Throughout this time, Jaela Jarlot is snapping photographs madly, appearing and disappearing in random locations seemingly instantaneously.

When they all take their place, the music grows somewhat louder. Terra stands at the beginning of the isle in a beautifully flowing sky blue dress and veil. On her back are two angel wings, one jet black, the other pure white. In her arms she carries a bouquet of long-stemmed red roses. Kanatash goes corporeal, takes Terra’s arm and leads her down the isle. He can feel her shaking slightly as they walk.

Kanatash: You ok?

Terra: *nods* Mmm-hmm.

Kanatash: *smiles* Even after all you’ve seen, something as simple as this makes you nervous. I can’t wait for my turn.

As they reach the altar, Kanatash lets go and heads for his seat. Again, the guests turn. There they see Lisa in a snow white dress and veil. On her back are pair of silver angel wings that seem to shimmer in the fading light. In her arms she carries a bouquet of pink tulips.

Terra: :inlove: :pumpkin:

Krozen takes her arm and heads down the isle. They remain silent until they reach the altar.

Lisa: *turning to him, whispering* Thank you.

He simply nods and releases her arm as Terra takes her hand. They lift each others veils, smiling from ear to ear as he walks back to his seat. A look of relief crosses his face, combined with what seemed to be a twinge of guilt. Jaela approaches the altar and reaches for the book that sits upon it.

Ketler: *nervously, in a seat near the back* Come on…come on…

Before she touches it, Admiral Murphy Jarlot steps in the way.

Jaela: Grandpa! What are you doing?!

Admiral Jarlot: Hush now dear. This wedding can only be performed by one person. Me! The high priest of the Church of Dol Dorn, god of drinking, war, and women marrying other women!

Terra & Lisa: :fight!:

Before anyone can react, he goes for the book on the altar, meaning to replace it with his own.

Ketler: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

When he touches it, the altar transforms into a mech (complete with old-school Transformers™ sound) and grabs the Admiral.

Admiral Jarlot: What in the name of-!

The mech opens a chest cavity designed for someone about half Admiral Jarlot’s size, stuffs him in there, and flies off. At this time, Feal-Thas and some Half-Dragons arrive with Allen and Roosevelt in tow, as well as another altar.

Allen: Sorry about that. SOMEONE decided to nail my coffin closed this evening. *glares at Ketler*

Roosevelt: Not to mention sticking me in the Crystal dimension… *gives Ketler a stare that promises eternal vengeance*

Ketler: :eek:

Two Half-Dragons pick up Ketler and cart him off to be keelhauled at a later date as Feal-Thas sets up the real altar.

Feal-Thas: All taken care of. Carry on.

The music resumes as everyone struggles not to laugh and Jaela pulls out a new book from her robes.

Jaela: Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Ms. Terra Branford and Ms. Lisa Hopeforge in holy matrimony. I have known both of them for some time now, and I can only say I can hardly imagine a stranger, yet more perfect match. They have endured much for this day, and their love has only deepened with each trial. As I watched them grow closer, I could only hope that such deep and profound understanding and love would someday find each and every one you.

Terra and Lisa stand there, blushing yet beaming as they turn to each other.

Jaela: Terra, you may now speak your vow.

Terra: *smiling, her lip shaking* Lisa, my love, I never thought I could ever be as happy as I am now. Being with you is the single greatest treasure I could ever ask for. You have renewed my reason to hope. That is a gift beyond anything else this world has to offer. I love you with all my heart and soul, and will continue to love you always and forever.

Jaela: *nods* Lisa…

Lisa: *also smiling, her eyes watering* Terra, my love, I can no longer imagine life without you. The things you have shown me, and the things you have taught me, have opened my eyes to the beauty of the people and the world around me. But I have found no place more beautiful than in your arms. You have brought peace to my heart, and the only gift I have to give in return is my undying love. From now until the end of all things…

Jaela: With these words, I ask: Terra, do you take Lisa to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and hold, till death do you part?

Terra: *trembling* I do.

Jaela: And you Lisa. Do you take Terra to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and hold, till death do you part?

Lisa: *also trembling* I do.

Jaela: Take out the rings you have chosen. *they do so* These rings symbolize the unbroken bond of love and commitment you share. See them not as locks that bind, but keys that open your heart to the other. You may place them on each others’ fingers.

As they do this, they barely manage to restrain themselves from bursting into tears of joy.

Jaela: Should anyone here have reason that these two should not be joined, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.

*SILENCE*

Jaela: Then, by the power vested in me by the light of the Silver Flame, I pronounce you married. You may kiss each other.

As they embrace, thunderous applause and cheering (as well as a few cat calls) erupt from the congregation. Breaking off, the two begin simultaneously laughing and crying, staring into each others eyes. After a moment, the celebration music plays and the two of them head back down the isle, hand in hand as Jaela Jarlot continues on her 10th Dragonshard. At the end of the congregation, the Paladins of the Silver Flame and Warriors of the Squirrel Civilization raise their swords above their heads for the honor guard as confetti rains down upon the newlyweds. Hopping into the waiting carriage, they head off towards the reception and their new life together.

***

Throughout all of this, Michael continues to stand in the back, bawling his eyes out in rivers of anime tears.
Cannibal_Penguin

06-17-06, 10:25 PM		OOC: Finally! after weeks of reading, I actually got to the latest post! I have to say this stuff is amazing....Im afraid to ask where you get the inspiration!:twitch: The only thing i can really say right now is about Micheal...the poor guy needs a hug :weep:
cypher_zero

06-17-06, 10:48 PM		OOC:Or a stab to the face. A blackguard bawling like a baby! Discraseful!
:rofl:
Charles Phipps

06-17-06, 11:26 PM		Good show!

Best post in the entire thread.

Poor Michael.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-17-06, 11:38 PM		Good show!

Best post in the entire thread.

Poor Michael.WOO HOO!!!! YAY ME!!! :w00t: :cheer: :dancin:
rampant

06-18-06, 12:56 AM		Satnak - I was kind of hoping someone would have said something during the bit before "forever hold your piece"

NJ26 - Are you saing you have reservations about thir union?

Satnak - No, but I spent a week practicing brutal ways to kill people without staining my clothes and i want to show off.
cypher_zero

06-18-06, 01:12 AM		Terrek: Y'know Satnak, for someone who started out as one of the few good people on the ship, you seem to have turned into quite the bloodthirsty killer. It's kinda cute actually. I'll see you at the reception...

Terrek steps back into the shadows of one of the tents and disappears.
.
Charles Phipps

06-18-06, 01:20 AM		*overlooking a minature of Jarlotopolis in the war room*

Supreme Commander Jarlot: The Dhakaani Temples below us were the wonder of the ancient world. Jarlotopolis shall be the wonder of my world. But I think the food court should be larger. All the big franchises will want in.

Ketler: Uhh...Jarlot.

Supreme Commander Jarlot: I hoped to face King Boranal face-to-face on the battlefield, where we could engage each other in respectful combat. Then I would snap his spine. But why? Why do they still call me a warlord? And mad? All I want to do is to create the perfect genetic soldier. Not for power, not for evil, but for good. Stupid will be the first of thousands. They will march out of my laboratory and crush every adversary, every creed, every nation! Until the world is in the loving grip of the Pax Jarlotica. And peace will reign and all humanity will bow to me in humble gratitude.

Ketler: Uh...huh.

Michael: That was beautiful man.

Ketler: Jarlot?

Supreme Commander Jarlot: I shall accept a ransom of 20 billion Gold Pieces in exchange for not nuking Sarlona off the map. All of Khovaire is MINE!

Ketler: Uhhh boss...

Supreme Commander Jarlot: What?

Ketler: There's a problem.

Supreme Commander Jarlot: Not with the Jarlotopolis death ray?!

Ketler: No, its uhh...well some jerk sent a Mirror of Opposition for the wedding.

Supreme Commander Jarlot:Dare you say!?

Ketler: They caught the lovely bride and...err bride.

Terra: HIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAA!

Michael: The hell!?

Terra: OHHHHH MICHAEL! You're so big and STRONGGGGGGG! *nuzzle*
rampant

06-18-06, 03:16 AM		Kithle - Oh ****. (paths the ubers)

Satnak - WHAT!?! When I find the bastard I'm gonna rip its spine out while still leaving it attached to the head then twist each vertabrea off. :headexplo :hoppingma :rant: Lisa restrain your spouse for a moment. Kithle get her harmless.

Kithle - HMMMM Pulls out a big capacitor *microcosm*Microcosm*MICROCOSM*
Terra's will save : succeed, succeed, Fail

Kithle - It took me a month to chare that thing :weep: .

Micheal - No don't stop her!!

Lisa - (stabs micheal's knee with the sword of sutehk) Hands of my wife.

Satnak - Find lucky get her to tell us where this came from? How do we fix it?
Kaizer_Ryu

06-18-06, 03:41 AM		OOC: :confused: I looked up the Mirror of Opposition on the SRD, and it said that it creates an exact duplicate of whomever looks into it. They have all the possessions and powers of the original (including magic). The duplicate then begins attacking the original until one of them is destroyed. So recent events have me puzzled. Am I reading it wrong? Is SRD wrong? What's the deal? :confused:
rampant

06-18-06, 05:21 AM		OOC: Satnak isn't an arcanist, she's mixing it up with a helm of opposite alinment. Kithle's going along until she calms down because he fears her, and beause keeping the copies busy is a good idea.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-18-06, 06:47 AM		OOC: Back from sleepyland. Nice wedding. Especially the bit where Admiral Jarlot steps in. It's good to see you weren't willing to drop comedy just to keep an atmosphere.
IC: Silver (non-existential FTAnything communication): Okay, Erk, you can take the gag off now.

Erk is standing next to Greyfeline, who has been vibrating under a heavy layer of fatigue ropes to keep him from drowning the wedding ceremony in laughter. (Greyfeline considers all great romantic moments to be inherantly funny.) Erk pulls on one of the ropes and the cat is released.

Crow: Besides, we've got a Mirror of Opposition problem to deal with.

Erk: I thought you weren't allowed to be useful.

Crow: This is more important than maintaining style. It's about maintaining style.

Silver: We're all for funny, but this is not funny. :mad:

Greyfeline: :cool:

Erk: I think someone's about to take care of it.
******
Greyfeline arrives on the scene. Terra is still glomping Michael. Greyfeline examines the situation for a moment, then pulls an odd wide-brimmed hat with a big feather it out of nowhere, and places it on Michael's head.

Michael goes stiff.

Terra: Oh, Michael, you're so manly, I need you.

Michael (overacting voice): Nay, good Terra, I cannot. I know that thou art under a spell that compells thee to love one such as me. So too am I compelled, but by my honor.

Everyone stand by as Terra and Michael have an overacted scene together.

Kithle: What in the name of all that is abberrant is going on here?

Silver: Greyfeline used his "Hat of Dramatic Realization". Causes the wearer to have an insight into the nature of true reality. Michael sees that to make Lisa truely happy is to let her go.

Kithle: Does it have to be so hamish?

Crow: Keeps everyone from going sane.

Greyfeline: :rofl:

Kithle: Who is this guy?

Crow: And the helm of opposition's power should be breaking—

Terra: WTF is going on? Why am I crushing on Michael?………And why was I overacting?

Greyfeline whips the hat off Michael's head. The blackguard just stands there, blinking.

Erk: Come on. Let's go drown your sorrows.

Terra: Let's get this back on track people. Igor!

Igor: Yeth, mith Terra?

Terra: I want you to go through the gifts carefully when we get back to the FF. I'm not taking another chance like that.

OOC: Sorry to ruin any plots, but I want the reception to get under way so I can do something…special. If you want to have any of the presents boobytrapped, DO IT AFTER THE WEDDING when they most likely would be opening them. We're ruining the flow here.
cypher_zero

06-18-06, 09:31 AM		OOC: :confused: I looked up the Mirror of Opposition on the SRD, and it said that it creates an exact duplicate of whomever looks into it. They have all the possessions and powers of the original (including magic). The duplicate then begins attacking the original until one of them is destroyed. So recent events have me puzzled. Am I reading it wrong? Is SRD wrong? What's the deal? :confused:

OOC: I think we're just using a loose interpertation of the items powers for the sake of the story. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-18-06, 11:51 AM		OOC: Ok, I think I may be able to salvage everything with some fancy footwork. I'll get the reception started at the same time.

IC:

Lilly: What in Lammania was all that about?!

Terra: Someone sent a custom Mirror of Opposition as a gift, which Lisa and I looked into before we realized what it was. It created duplicates that were less interested with killing us than messing with us. Mine stuck a Helm of Opposite Alignment on my head, then both disappeared in a PLOT DEVICE.

Feralyn: There's not supposed to be any storms for miles...

Terra: After that, Greyfeline stuck a "Hat of Dramatic Realization" on Michael in order to break the Helm of Opposite Alignment, and here we are.

Urial: What about your doubles?

Lisa: They may yet come back in another PLOT DEVICE...

Feralyn: When was there a horse stable outside...?

Lisa: ...but they should be out of the picture for the moment.

Supreme Commander Jarlot: Good, because one pair of you is bad enough. I was about ready to turn Jarlotopolis's Death Ray on the lot of you. *stands on a table and strikes a dramatic leadership pose* I hereby decree that this reception is now begun!

Diani: *swoon* Oh, your so MANLY when you decree!

SC Jarlot: *knowing, self serving grin with a reflective point in the corner that makes a "shing" noise*

Dzarro & Malik: :nonono: & :weep: (respectively)

OOC: Ok, here's the rough setup. It's both indoor and outdoor, with the main seating and stage outside and the food and cash bar inside. It's basically open mic, so if you want to make a speech/toast/scene, knock yourselves out. Just keep in mind that Satnak is already on the warpath. :D
Rei32491

06-18-06, 12:15 PM		After a bit, Chibi Nalfein walks up to the mic.

Chibi Nalfein: First of all, I want to say congrats to Lisa and Terra, glad you guys are happy. Second, :rant: (looks at rest of crew) Because YOU guys made me look like this, I hate you guys soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

Before anyone can get to Nalfein, Urial is already there.

Urial: :ahem: Let's go.

And proceeds to drag him off and out of sight. No sound is heard for a few seconds, then everyone hears Chibi Nalfein being introduced to Stabitty Death, scythe style.

Caralot: :weep: How could she do that to something SOOOOOOO cute!?!

Terra: Urial doen't like cute things.
Charles Phipps

06-18-06, 12:55 PM		OOC: Actually that Terra was an Alt-Terra, I just didn't want to specify that because I really hate the "Alt" specification. I.e. Alternate Terra was heterosexual, urban, and anti-criminal.
rampant

06-18-06, 01:00 PM		Kithle - ... You know there isn't a rule against chibifying jarlot.

SC trooper - EVILGLEAM :schemes:

Kithle - Anyway, In honor of the occaasion... Let there be Lightshows.

Kithle wips out 6 remote detonaters, and proceeds to activate them in intricate sequences. A barrage of rockets streaks for the skies, each exploding in a flurry of colored light paint and chalk upon reaching the proper altitude.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-18-06, 01:15 PM		OOC: Actually that Terra was an Alt-Terra, I just didn't want to specify that because I really hate the "Alt" specification. I.e. Alternate Terra was heterosexual, urban, and anti-criminal.
Oh, sorry. :weep: ... :lightbulb :shifty: I think I can salvage this.

Again.

This is before rampant's post.

IC:

A portal opens and the real Terra and Lisa step through it.

Everyone: THE HELL?!!

Terra: Stupid plot devices. *turns to alt-Terra posing as her* All right, b*tch, it go time!

Alt-Terra: Crap!

Lisa: And YOU! *points at Alt-Lisa* You're going down!

Alt-Lisa: :eek:

*flashy moves, pyrotechnics, and lots of smiting later*

Terra: Ok, now that that's taken care of...

Satnak: How did you do all that while still in you wedding dresses?! That was awesome!

Lisa: Plot devices work both ways.

Urial: *covered in blood* I thought you were still acting weird...

Chibi Nalfein: *from somewhere off screen* It hurts...it hurts... :weep:
cypher_zero

06-18-06, 02:34 PM		Terrek: Wow, and not a drop of blood on either of your dresses. Impressive. (Steps over corpses and turns to Lisa.) I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Terrek, I’m fairly new on the ship but was present for the wedding. Quite a beautiful ceremony… and I believe I’ve already me your lovely bride. (Turns to Terra) I apologize for our earlier… misunderstanding. I hope these gifts will help to make amends. (Produces gifts from inside his open jacket and hands them over.) I trust that you’ll figure out their properties on your own in due time so I won’t waste your time now with it.

Terra: (Eyeing Terrek suspiciously) … Thanks…

Terrek: Not at all. Now, I’ve heard you’re both going plane-hopping for the honeymoon? Be sure to drop by. I’ve got a small demi-plane located in the northern Kani section of the Astral Plane. It’s quite lovely this time of year. I’m sure you’d both enjoy it. But I’ll let you get back to the reception. I’m sure there are plenty of other people that wish to talk to you. (Terrek bows and wanders off into the crowd.)
.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-18-06, 03:40 PM		Naz'roth and Tara walk over to Terra and Lisa.

Tara: we would of given a speech. but we find thats more Sa'vors area. but we have decided to give you both a two gifts. The first is not a material one, since i am niether skilled in creation nor have any thing that would be of use to you.

Lisa: then what it it?

Tara: my blessing *raises her left hands and plaves them on both of their foreheads* I bless you so that even when you are apart, even in the darkest of times. that you shall renember your love for each other and it shall guide you through. * quick incantation*.

Naz'roth: The second is a material gift. *summons a box, opens it and displays two shimmering Diamond and platinum necklaces. their very craftmans ship and beauty that make the eternal beauty of nature or that of the greatest gems pale in comparison* i spent the last month making these. it was no easy task i can assure you. they possess some of my most powerful enchantments. they can never be stolen from you while your love for each other remains. simply touching one of them will clear your mind and calm your thoughts. they also possess many other enchantments and minor spells that you'll have to discover yourself.

He closed the box and handed it to them. Tara and Naz'roth bowed and walked away to mingle once more.
rampant

06-18-06, 04:48 PM		Satnak - I offer my patronage should your descendents (bio or adopted) ever wish to study at the ISland, and these. *holds out a pair of simple silver bracelets made of two wires twisted together* They will transport either one of you to the other, regardless of distance or boundary.
--------------------
OOC - No idea how they would react.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-18-06, 05:24 PM		OOC: I will have Terra and Lisa open my characters' gifts later in private.

Igor approaches next.

Igor: There ith nothing in being Igor that allowth me to know what to thay at a time like thith.

Igor shuffles on stage. He sits carefully in front of a piano. He adjusts the seat, he tests the pedals and the keys. Finally, when all that is done, he takes out a pair of shades and puts them on.

He strikes out a lone cord. It stops. The other member of the Greyside appear from the shadows of the stage. Roosevelt is at the drums. Mr. T has the sax. 13 has the bass guitar. Caralot has the lead guitar. Lucky carries a backup guitar. Jaela Jarlot (batjaela) sports a vairety of bangles and chains that rattle and ring. Word Being supports a massive bass (a kind of really big chello) on one shoulder. Silver has a fluit. They are all wearing matching sunglasses and grey robes.

There is a hush.

Then the group launches into a great meddly of tunes. None of the instruments performs exactly the sound they are supposed to, only the sound that's needed at the time. Greyfeline pops onto center stage in a cloud of smoke, Crow on its shoulder.

Crow grabs the mic. "This is from all of us."
Greyfeline steps up to the mic admidst the music.

Greyfeline: "How in the name of all that is forbidden and probably fun did these two get together? One is the queen of organized crime who rules and lives with enough toughness to make most good people look evil. The other is a follower of a religion which is best known for making you hate it, yet despite her class requirement being a 'stick up your ass', she's very flexible. I suppose the real question is whether or not we care about the how. The past is like a box of chocolates: you never know if the box was made by the Monty Python people. Now we could wish you many things. But we won't. Death's a pretty good option by comparison to life, so why bother? You live on the Forgotten Freedom. But in conclusion, from all of us…"
Greyfeline grabs the mic in both hands and leaps into the air.
"…I hope your descendants are insane, BECAUSE IT'S WORKED FINE FOR YOU!"

End music. Take bow.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-18-06, 05:27 PM		OOC: Ok, here's their responses so far...

IC:

(to Terrek)

Terra: Well, I guess I had you pegged wrong. What say we start over? Friends?

Terrek: It would be my pleasure.

Lisa: We only have a few places set that we're going, after that we'll just be exploring. We'll stop by then.

Terrek: I look forward to it.

***

(to Tara and Naz'roth)

Lisa: Thank you, Tara. A sincere blessing like that can be just as, if not more valuable, than any gift.

Tara: :embarrass

Terra: Indeed. Thank you, Tara. And Naz'roth, these are absolutely beautiful. I really think you've outdone yourself.

Naz'roth: :D If you have any questions about them, feel free to ask.

***

(to Satnak)

Terra: Our own kids with your kind of power? Wow. I can't even imagine it...

Lisa: We'll definitely consider it should the possibility come up. And thank you for the bracelets. We'll be sure to make good use of them.

Satnak: :D

***

OOC: I will have Terra and Lisa open my characters' gifts later in private. OOOOOOO! Secret gifts! I can't wait!
Cannibal_Penguin

06-18-06, 05:57 PM		Michael slowly walks out of the crowd toward Lisa, trying to fight back tears

Michael:sadly) Hey Lisa :(

Lisa:Oh, hey Michael...whats up?

Michael:*mustering up all the courage he can find* Ijust wanted to *snif* congradulate you two on your special day...I hope you have plenty more to come :weep:

Lisa: Aww, thanks Michael, that was really sweet...come here :D *gives Micheal huge hug*

Michael: :bigeyes: I...thanks.

Michael(to Terra):*falls to his knees* Terra, as much as i hate to give you the sattisfaction of hearing this...you win :surrender

Terra:Thank you for realizing that :D But Lisa was never a prize to be won! I cannot believe you would even THINK of WINNING a human being!

Micheal walks away with his head down, and as he leaves he pulls something from his pocket, winces, and throws it away

Terra: What was that?

Lisa:I dunno, lets check *walks over and picks it up* Oh my Gods....

Terra:What?

Lisa:Look :(

Lisa holds up a small velvet box, and inside is a slip of paper with a date on it, and a beutiful, platinum edged gold ring with a saphire embeded in its swirling patterns. The paper is a reciept, and date is from a few months ago.the inside of the ring is etched "To my angel, Lisa Hopeforge"

Terra: Oh...well, lets worry about this after the party....this is supposed to be a happy day. :D

Lisa: Yea, i guess your right...I'll talk to him later :(
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-18-06, 06:35 PM		Lisa holds up a small velvet box, and inside is a slip of paper with a date on it, and a beutiful, platinum edged gold ring with a saphire embeded in its swirling patterns. The paper is a reciept, and date is from a few months ago.the inside of the ring is etched "To my angel, Lisa Hopeforge"

Terra: Oh...well, lets worry about this after the party....this is supposed to be a happy day. :D

Lisa: Yea, i guess your right...I'll talk to him later :(
OOC: That. Was. Cruel.

And please save me a scene with Krozen leaving. I have some plot development to do, but it can't happen until the guests are leaving.
IC: Lucky: Okay, I know there was a plate of wyvern over here.

Silence: That's the second thing that's gone missing. Oh well, just take out the steamed giant spider.

Lucky: :nonono: I seriously question letting Greyfeline add to the menu.

Mr. T comes in holding a bone that's been stripped.

Mr. T: Ah found this under one a' the tables.

Lucky notices the teeth marks. She waves Erk over.

Erk: More food gone missing?

Lucky: But we've got a clue.

Erk takes the offered bone and examines it. The group has learned that Word Being is a master at solving puzzles, and mysteries fall into that category.

Erk: Similar to a wolf's…but not as deep…odd carnassal pattern…more like molars……
Crystalforged

06-18-06, 08:47 PM		OOC: I HAVE RETURNED. :cheer: Overly dramatic entrance, check. Anyway, it looks like I got back sooner than I expected. I still missed the wedding though. :weep: I just finished getting up to date with things, I suppose I'll just have make up for lost time...

Oh, and Silvercapmoonpaw, I haven't forgot about Kanatash getting pregnant. I just though I would wait until after the wedding. I plan to have the wedding when things quiet down from this one but I'm going to need you're help with Caralot's side of things.



IC: Nyarlathotep: Kanatash, may I speak with you for a second.

Kanatash: Of course deranged one. (stepping outside)

Nyarlathotep: I've been meaning to speak with you since I arrived but I've been rather busy. I must say you have done excelent work with this ship, madness as far as the eye can see.

Kanatash: I would like to take credit for the insanity on this ship but most of it was here before I was. I just try and insert a few spikes on the madness-o-meter of my own.

Nyarlathotep: Of course, now the thing I really wanted to speak to you about is my son, Volrath. I asked you to keep tabs on him for me and I want to know what you think of him.

Kanatash: All and all, I would say he is a prodegy. Shortly after his arrival he assembled an abberant army and made a power grab. He was put down handily but considering the forces he was up againt that is certainly not his fault. I hope you will excuse it but even I was against him, I **** off people too on this ship too much already to turn against them there.

Nyarlathotep: How is he handling the losses, I can't imagine this wedding was easy for him.

Kanatash: That was actually why he made the grab at power, to try and break up Lisa and Terra. There have certainly been some rough patches with the wedding planning as well but he has managed remarkably well. His potential is far greater than any of your other children.

Nyarlathotep: That conforts me greatly. What about this girlfriend I have heard about?

Kanatash: (evil grin) P/Y/R? Oh she's a fine lass. (hands him an image crystal) Take a look at this, she's almost as kinky as Caralot and myself.

Nyarlathotep: :mymy: Dear sweet madness. You know I always hoped he'd settle down some day with a nice aberration girl but I still must applaud his taste in women.

Kanatash: I concure, he's a son to be proud of.

Nyarlathotep: I am glad to hear it. Say is it just my imagination or have you been rather quiet the last few days? I know you've been working on Krozen but still...

Kanatash: :devil: Oh I've been lying low, Terra may be a friend but she'll still dismember me if I screw with the wedding too much. Other than that I've been preparing my coup de'ta with Krozen. I wanted to wait with it until the reception, no one will miss him here and I don't have to worry about someone else waiting behind me. Now if you'll excuse me I have work to do. (floats off)

Nyarlathotep: (shaking his head) That poor, poor cardinal.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-18-06, 08:58 PM		OOC: I HAVE RETURNED. :cheer: Overly dramatic entrance, check. Anyway, it looks like I got back sooner than I expected. I still missed the wedding though. :weep: I just finished getting up to date with things, I suppose I'll just have make up for lost time...

Oh, and Silvercapmoonpaw, I haven't forgot about Kanatash getting pregnant. I just though I would wait until after the wedding. I plan to have the wedding when things quiet down from this one but I'm going to need you're help with Caralot's side of things.
OOC: Yay! I didn't mean to rush you, I was just going throught he posts to find more characters to put on the wiki, and I came across that idea and wanted to make sure you hadn't forgot. No hurry. I have a fun plot ahead. Also I need time to figure out who'd Caralot invite.
Cannibal_Penguin

06-18-06, 09:22 PM		OOC: That. Was. Cruel.

OOC: Eh, I was gonna have her go talk to him, but that would kinda ruin the party :P
Crystalforged

06-18-06, 09:34 PM		OOC: Ah, a wedding between Kanatash and Caralot written by myself and Silvercatmoonpaw, if either the crew or the posters come away from this mentally unscathed I think I'll need to retire from the thread...

Anywho, better make up for lost time.



IC: Kanatash has positioned himself and is preparing to snatch Krozen away when Terra suddenly appears from the shadows.

Terra: (arms crossed) And WHAT do you think you're doing?

Kanatash: I've been planning something special for Krozen and I've been saving it until now.

Terra: You can't grab him in the middle of my reception!

Kanatash: :bigeyes:

Terra: The anime eyes aren't going to work with me.

Kanatash: Awh, come on. It's not like anyone will miss him, he's been avoiding everyone, particularly Lisa, since the ceremony. I've read his mind, he's just waiting to slip away in the night and leave this ship once and for all.

Terra: Hmph, fine. However, I don't want driven insane.

Kanatash: How about scarred for life?

Terra: I can live with that, but I'm not sure I can trust you to restrain yourself.

Kanatash: (hands her a crystal) Then keep tabs on me with this and you can even use it to contact me at any time if you want me to stop. You won't object to this, trust me he deserves it completely.

Terra: Ok, but you owe me for this.

Kanatash: Oh, all right. Now if you excuse me, I'm hunting Cardnals.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-18-06, 09:48 PM		OOC: AAAHHHHH!!! Not yet! I don't have the time nor the eye strength right now to write my special part. You can have Krozen once he gets into his coach, but right now I need him present and sane to introduce a very important plot hook. Or return him to the reception before it's over acting completely sane. Either way.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-18-06, 10:43 PM		Lisa: Did you know?

Terra: About what?

Lisa: Michael.

Terra: No, actually. I tend to keep out of areas of people's minds I have no reason to enter. I knew he was hiding something, but I could feel it wasn't something bad. I also knew he had had something made for you, but it didn't occur to me that he was planning to propose. He never struck me as the commitment type.

Lisa: What would you have done if he had asked first?

Terra: Honestly, I don't know. It crossed my mind several times, and I always hoped that if it came to that and you said yes that I could respect your decision. As for what I really would have done...I'm not sure.

After a few moments of silence, Lisa has to ask.

Lisa: ...do you want to know what I would have said?

Terra: *smiles* I do admit, I am curious. But I can tell you in all honesty that, even if you had chosen him, I would never have stopped loving you. If nothing else, I would still have wanted to be your friend. I know he feels much the same way.

Lisa: *kisses her* It's times like this that make me love you even more. We'll have to make sure to talk to him later.

Terra: It's a date. :D
Crystalforged

06-18-06, 11:02 PM		EDIT: Oh dang, Silvercatmoonpaw, that's going to make things a little difficult since I really don't want to delete all this now. On second thought, a little editing should clear up this issue...

After a short chase, violent capture, and a pinch of psionic manipulation Kanatash has Krozen on a couch in the counselor's room. Kanatash, once again in guise of "Doctor Frueden von Quackenstien", is trying to "help" the cardinal with his psychologial "issues." :devil:

Dr. Quackenstien: Master Krozen, I understand you haze been having ze problems most recently. Your sleep, it iz troubled yes?

Krozen: Doctor, I just don't know what it is. I have nightmares every night but I can never remember what actually happened in the morning, just that it is somehow familiar.

Dr. Quackenstien: Zes means under ze normal circumstances that you has ze guilt over somzing you haz done in ze past. Perhaps if I enter you mind I can ze what has you troubled, yes?

Krozen: I'm not sure doc, there's some pretty sensitive information in my head.

Dr. Quackenstien: I am, how you say it, a doctor, zes means ze laws, zey mandate zat I keep ze secrets I am told. Now I zink you knowz more zan you iz telling me about zes dreams.

Krozen: Well... I suppose... You see I did some things, things to Lisa, when she was young you see...

Dr. Quackenstien: I see you arez having ze trouble speaking of zit. Why do I not simply zee it in your mind.

The doctor concentrates for a moment and Krozen goes limp. After a moment the doctor reels back in horror and revulsion so great that his disquise slips and resumes his normal form as Kanatash.

Kanatash: By the deranged lords! That was so sick, WRONG... (stuttering) I, I, I... There is no hell in Doruth, Kyber, Dal Quor, Mabar, or even Xoriat foul enough for you for doing that.

Krozen: AHHHHH, wait, your the counselor?!

Kanatash: ****, time for some quick memory alteration.

Several minutes of mental tweeking later Kanatash is back in his disquise and Krozen remembers nothing of the outburst.

Dr. Quackenstien: Zes iz most troubling insight, yes? Zes iz an act zat iz most terrible in ze conscience of a man zet I see no great guilt in ze mind, more of ze embarresment.

Krozen: Well... I...

Dr. Quackenstien: Zes implies zat zere is zomething else in ze mind which haz had ze effect on you. Zomething which would put ze idea of this into ze mind, zomething which would make ze act not zeem like something to have ze guilt over. I will need to put ze into to ze deep hypnosis zo I can zee deep into ze memories from long ago.

Dr. Quackenstien reaches out and touches Krozen's head and Krozen becomes completely comatose. With Krozen out Kanatash resumes his normal form.

Kanatash: (glancing down at Krozen) You sick *** bastard. I'm screwed with the minds of tyrants, mass murderers, crimes against both reality and unreality, and hippies for years but in all this time I have never met a being or witnessed a crime as foul as what you did to that little girl. When you die I swear by any and all gods that when you die I will find your soul and I will torture you for an eternity with things fouler than my demented mind can comprehend. And throughout it all I will never give you the release of having your sanity leave you, no you will fully comprehend every incomprehensible deed I commit against you. This will still not be adaquate punishment for your sick crime but I will put the utmost effort into it. Until then... (glances up at the ceiling) Terra, I can only assume you are watching so you won't blame me for what I am about to do, it's more than you allowed me but far less than he deserves.

Kanatash proceeds to weave into Krozen's mind a memory glaringly similar to that of what he did to Lisa...

EDIT: This memory is only going to come fully to light AFTER Krozen leaves the ship, that should leave him in your court Silver, I'm done messing with him. For the moment...
---

In memories...

10 year old Krozen: Daddy, what are you doing...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-18-06, 11:08 PM		In memories...

10 year old Krozen: Daddy, what are you doing...DUDE!!!!! That is quite possibly some of Kanatash's best work ever. I almost feel sorry for the little puke. Key word being ALMOST. Kanatash destroys his past, Terra destroys his future. Well played. :thumbsup:
Crystalforged

06-18-06, 11:11 PM		:embarrass Always nice to know one's work is appreciated...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-18-06, 11:34 PM		OOC: I was browsing over the last few posts, and noticed that I missed SilvercatMoonpaw's addition of the musical number to his post about gifts. I must say; I loved it. I look forward to more quality work, including seeing what you have in store for Krozen.
urial angel of death

06-19-06, 12:16 AM		OOC: I will only be able to post periodically now, but will be able to post. ;)

Dendril walks up to the reception, spikard in hand. Terra, Volrath, and Urial look up in terror.
Volrath: You're still alive?
Urial: But how?
All of the abberations, half-dragons, and various other minion types on deck rush toward him. Dendril reaches into his pocket producing a gem. In the gem is a little spirit bashing up against the inside, as if stuggling to get out.
Dendril: In death you will achieve more than you could possibly in life, old friend.
He lifts the gem up high and shouts a brief incantation. The soul is drawn out of the stone. It is ripped apart by an unseen force. As it is torn from existance the tortured spirit lets out the cry of a child, a child who is still fighting until the very last minute, desperately clinging to life. The shreaded pieces of soul forms an elder sign. All of the lesser crew members and minions are frozen in place by the sign's power.
Dendril: (shouting across the entire deck) Terra, you destroyed my chance at love. It only seems fitting that I kill yours.
He pulls out an ebony bolt with a cracked scepter carved onto its head. All of the ubers can recognize this as an bolt of human slaying. Dendril then loads it into his spikard and fires...

OOC: dun, dun, dun

P. S. the soul was not of "her".
cypher_zero

06-19-06, 12:17 AM		OOC: Ok. I have to ask. Can I kill Krozen? Please? Not right now of course, but later, after everyone's through messing with him? I promise to make it MOST entertaining. :evillaugh :devil: :schemes:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-19-06, 12:25 AM		OOC: Ok. I have to ask. Can I kill Krozen? Please? Not right now of course, but later, after everyone's through messing with him? I promise to make it MOST entertaining. :evillaugh :devil: :schemes:Sorry, but no. Death is simply too good for him. He needs to live. It's that much more insideous. Ever heard the phrase "a fate worse than death"? That is what awaits him. Though I'm sure it's ok to give him the illusion of death, say via psionic illusions or something of the kind...
cypher_zero

06-19-06, 12:27 AM		Getting your soul eaten by Terrek is a fate worse than death, but if someone else has other things planned...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-19-06, 12:31 AM		I'm not nearly done with him. I've got this whole bit in my head for a future story arc. It won't be happening for a while, but I promise it will be quite impressive. :plotting: :evillaugh
rampant

06-19-06, 12:50 AM		Kithle - *Clicks a button on his detonator*

FWOOOM

Dendril is bowled over by a paintmine exploding and covered in sticky pastels. The bolt is glued to the bow hopelesly mired.

Kithle - I don't think so my good idiot.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-19-06, 08:36 AM		Krozen has had enough. Secretly signalling to his personal guards, he slips into a crowd. He remains uninterrupted as he reaches his coach.

Lisa: Your leaving?

Krozen freezes.

Krozen: I told you, I wanted no part of this. I've done what I need to. Now leave me in peace.

He turns back and grabs the handle of the coach door.

Lisa: Just remember I know secrets about you. And if i ask nicely enough, I'm sure 13 and Crow will tell me all the rest.

Krozen: But you won't. You're not evil enough. You won't even tell Terra, because you know she would. (looks back at Lisa's surprised face) Did you think I rose to this position on a miracle?

They both hear the growl. Turning to the left they see it: a white, emaciated wolf, missing patches of fur. It was baring its teeth, its ears back, its tail and hackles raised. It had a look in its eyes…almost as if it understood who was standing in front of it.

It accelerated and leapt at Krozen.

Lisa: *grunt* (thud)

Krozen watched, stunned, as his (*shudder*) daughter tried to fight off a wolf with her bare hands while wearing her wedding dress. She tried to get her hands around the muzzle, but the wolf bit her right hand and drew blood.

Then a dart zipped into its neck, and it's grip slacked, falling into unconcious. Lisa looked up to see Caralot and Terra racing over.

Terra: Let me see that hand. (healing spell)

Caralot takes out a muzzle and some cord, binding the wolf.

Caralot: Wonder why it attacked you? Hey, something's—

Krozen: Kill it.

EVeryone turns to look at him.

Krozen: Kill it. It's…obviously dangerous.

Terra: Why the interest in its fate? It can't harm you now.

Lisa: Or can it?

Krozen doesn't answer. Instead he calls for his guards. They ready the carriage, and speed away. Lisa lets them go.

Caralot (lifting the wolf onto her shoulders): You don't mind if I examine him?

Terra: It'll still be alive?

Caralot: If what Erk told me about this wolf is true, I'm definitely keeping him alive.
******
Meanwhile, in Krozen's coach.

Krozen (i.h.h., very scared): *No, no, no, no, no, no…*
Cannibal_Penguin

06-19-06, 10:48 AM		OOC:This has absolutely nothing to do with any plot lines, but i just wanted to have some fun with him :D

IC:
Krozen finds himself sitting on solid water (not ice, just solid water) he looks above to see a sky made up of a dusty, cracked, lake bed. The "sky" starts to shudder and thunder, and drops of liquid dust start to fall to the water below.The dust hits the water and makes small splashes. the splashes hover for a second, then race up toward the desert above

where the dust hits krozen, horibble gaping tears appear in his flesh, and hairlike tendrils sprout them, franticaly whipping about and clawing at his skin, trying to sepparate themselves from him. They pull so hard as to yank him inside out through the wounds, only to be turned right-side in by another wound.

Through his twitches and spasms, he sees the entire area shudder and warp , and he sees himself a mile or so off, almost as if he is seeing around the world to see the back of his head.The place bends in on itself and the very fabric of existance seems to tie knots around Krozen.

Then, as soon as all of it began, everything suddenly snaps like a rubber-band back into place, leaving Krozen spitting up bile and bleeding through his ears. Something nags at him to look down, into the depths of the water.

A brown hooded figure stares back at him. Krozen yelps and jumps back as the hooded figure rises slowly out of the water. It stands there, motionless, staring deep into Krozens eyes, seeming to pierce his soul. Krozen starts to sweat, knowing that this creature knows all his thoughts, desires, and pains that reside in his head just by looking at him. Then, the creature, agonizingly slow, raises an out-stretched arm to point at Krozen. "What do you want from me?!" he shouts. The hooded figure stands, as motionles as ever. Then the creatures finger jerked, and Krozen fell through the suface of the water.

Krozen tries to swim back, but his arms and legs are as heavy as stone. he looks up, hoping to fing something to hold onto, but only sees the hooded figure staring back at him, getting smaller and smaller as it gets farther away.....
_______________________

Gaurd:*shaking Krozen* Sir! wake up!

Krozen wakes with a start

Krozen:*gasp* Gah! What? Oh...wow..only a dream...

And with that, he puts his head in his hand and starts sobbing
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-19-06, 11:32 AM		OOC: WOW! I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really starting to feel sorry for Krozen. I don't think I could ever toture someone, not even fictionally, as much as we've tortured this guy. Call me exalted if you want, but how do you keep doing it? All I've done is threatened to reveal a secret. I'm sorry, but there's a limit to the amount of pain I can see someone endure without there being some comedy in there.
*******
A strange mangled shape crawls out from between two of John's spikes.

Elminster: Elminster is okay.

Mrs. Fuzzy Logic: That's good to hear, deary. Have a funny hat.

The funny hat instantly restores Elminster's body.

Elminster: Thank you. Now I must go off and not do a d*mn bit of good with my great power.

Klaz: Crickey! This here's one of the most bizzare creatures ever to exist: a very powerful yet useless NPC…
Crystalforged

06-19-06, 12:22 PM		Norbaz: Sweet Kyber, he was still down there? I mean we hit him MONTHS ago.

Chalky: Oh yeah, he was basicly reduced to paste by the impact and all the stabbity death from John but when was the last time you heard of anyone cleaning the hull. Now that he's gone I'm going to miss taunting him.

Norbaz: There's no way he could have survived all that for so long though.

Narrator: Plot device.

Norbaz: I was figuring it would be something like that.

Chalky: ALRIGHT, a narrator! I haven't seen one of them in ages, I was starting to think they had gone extinct. (licking his lips) Now the only question is pan-fried or barbeque.

Narrator: RUN AWAY!
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-19-06, 05:48 PM		OOC: i think we actually hit him YEARS ago.

IC:
Sa'vor taps Dendril on the shoulder. her turns, to see Sa'vors smiling face. in an instant Sa'vor lands a punch on him. sending Dendril almost thirty feet away and crashing into a pillar. Sa'vor casts a simple mirror image spell. creating ten duplicates of himself. each of them proceeds to chant a different spell. fake lightning and fire courses all over Dendrils form, the real Sa'vor on the other hand steps forwards his claws glowing in an eerie light.
Dendril pulls himself from the dirt, and launches a hail of bolts at Sa'vor. all of which are dodged. Dendril aims and sends all his will down the bolt. it rockets into Sa'vors form causing the image to ripple and vanish. A sudden sharp pain fills Dendrils back area, followed by the warm feeling of blood. The Images of Sa'vor dart back licking their bloodied claws, Dendril unleashes a dispel magic spell. All of the Sa’vors shimmer and vanish. The real Sa’vor stepped forwards. A pair of wands held aimed at Dendril.
Sa’vor opened fire with the wands. Sending magic missiles and lightning bolts streaming towards Dendril.
They struck home causing minimal damage. Sa’vor charged into combat slashing away with his claws, but Dendril was faster and stronger. He easily avoided or parried Sa’vors attacks. Dendril saw an opening when Sa’vor made a particularly wild slash towards his head. He ducked the attack and drove his Spear spikard into the weak spot in Sa’vors armour. Sa’vor grimaced slightly as Dendril twisted and pulled the spikard out, before Dendril could remove it completely Sa’vor managed to land a claw attack on his opponents face. Sa’vor felt his life force slowly ebbing away from his wound. He didn’t have much time, he wouldn’t last any longer. Hopefully it would be enough…
Dendril landed a particularly strong attack on Sa’vor knocking him sprawled onto the floor twenty feet away.

Tara: *to Naz’roth* we should do something!!

Naz’roth: I think Sa’vors beginning to understand what 13 told him. He’s already dead. He died a long time ago, he doesn’t have anything to lose.

Dendril lowered his Spikard and fired. Every shot hit Sa’vor in the chest. Sa’vors form trembled, he attempted to pull himself up to face Dendril. But he collapsed. All of Sa’vors body burned with a horrible pain. He felt his chest spasm and he coughed, blood splattered onto his armour.
Sa’vor: *weakly* well that didn’t go as well as I had hoped…
rampant

06-19-06, 06:41 PM		Kithle - they never learn *click*

FWAFWAFWAFOOM

A series of mines completely mires DEndril.

Satnak - *blinks in* Stop right now, don't force me to do something I'll enjoy immensly.

Kithle - Andrea please heal the idiot on the ground.
urial angel of death

06-19-06, 07:21 PM		Dendril: I guess the Elder Sign didn't stop as many of you as I'd hoped. A well the continued battles will make my revenge all the sweeter when justice is served.
Dendril says a quick chant and easily slides out of the paint. Satnak rushes at the now free Dendril.
Satnak: You're going down! :devil:
Dendril says another incantation. Hundreds of magic missles spring from his hand and rip through Satnak's body. She fall to the floor blood pouring from her wounds.
Dendril: Funny that you in all of your infinate power failled to cast a simple shield :D . Die a fool's death. So sure of your own power that you fail to prepare proper defenses.
Satnak swings her legs around in a masive kick that sends Dendril across the ship.
Dendril: Tougher than I thought. *gets up* Now it's time to finish what I came here for. He lifts his spikard at Urial.
Urial: What do you hope to accomplish by killing us Dendril. Tomoko is dead. Killing us won't bring her back.
Dendril: Dead! That can't be. No, you're lying. You have her here. You took her.
Urial: No, we killed her right in fron to you.
Dendril: She can't be dead. She can't be.
Urial: ...
Dendril: Give her back!
Dendril rushes toward her, spikard in hand. Urial draws her scythe. The blade glows with a faint red halo.
Urial: Must I do this again.
Urial wispers a quick incantation. What are left of Dendril's legs crumple under him and he falls to the ground.
Dendril: Give her back. Give her back. *breaks down into sobs*
Urial: I would if I could. I didn't want to kill her. Don't you remember? We were all at Thronehold.
Dendril: Yes, Tomoko had gone ahead. When I go there she was tied up and you, you killed her. You cut her open right as I got there, you monster.
Urial: You think I enjoyed killing my own sister? We may have been enemies, but family is family. She had tried to break free.
Urial bushes aside her hair to reveal the other side of her face. Where her eye should be there is a mummified orb, rotating with as if with a life of it's own.
Urial: If I hadn't killed her she most certainly would have killed me.
Dendril: There's is nothing left for me then. Look at me I gave up everything to rescue a woman who was already dead. I just destroyed the soul of one of my best friends. Kill me. Kill me, and send me to the hell I have earned.
Urial: As you wish. Razorwind
Urial walks away as the very air around Denril rips the skin from his body.
cypher_zero

06-19-06, 07:37 PM		Terrek looks away from the hot paladin chicks he’s hitting on as they turn to stare at the battle between Sa’vor and Dendril. He nods to the ladies to excuse himself and walks over to the bloodied Sa’vor as Uriel dispatches Dendril. Andrea is in the process of healing the bleeding half-dragon as Terrek places his hand on her shoulder to stop her.

“Let me handle this,” Terrek says.

“But…”

“I’ve got this. Trust me.” Andrea backs away as Terrek leans over Sa’vor’s unconscious body. “Fools. So much power and all they can do is kill each other with it,” he mumbles to himself. Then he turns to those gathered around the battlefield and says, “I’m taking him to my plane. I hope that when we return, he’ll be better off than he was before.”

Terrek opens a portal and steps through, carrying Sa’vors bleeding body in his chains.

OOC: Lord Kale Fangblade, I intend to do an exchange between Terrek and Sa’vor on Terrek’s plane. I’d like you to fill in Sa’vor’s replies if you wouldn’t mind. I’d been planning this for some time, but this seemed the perfect opportunity so I had to take it. I intend for their conversation to be a bit of an eye opener for Sa'vor. I hope you like it.
.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-19-06, 07:50 PM		Silver: And yet this is not the weirdest wedding I've been to.

Crow: :bored: Needs more feuding.

Terra: I assume you aren't going to do anything.

Greyfeline: :nonono:

Terra: Help me out here: what did he say?

Silver: Never assume we won't do anything.

Crow: It makes it all the more likely that we will.

Silver: But no.

Crow: Feuding is something that's no fun unless it happens on its own.

Silver: Does Dendril count?

Crow: It's only feuding if the parties arrived because they have some connection to the people being married.

13: BIG PROBLEM!

Terra: Better nor be.

13: If Elminster was smeared over the hull……and Satnak smeared the "Essence of Jarlot" over the hull……then—

Elminster Jarlot Sr.: [command issued to someone on the basis of race or skin color]! [disparaging comment about someone's religion]. [sexist pickup line]?
urial angel of death

06-19-06, 09:56 PM		Volrath and P/Y/R walk up to Terra and Lisa.
Volrath: Hey Terra here are our gifts.
They hand several vials of a whitish liquid and a black book.
P/Y/R: The liquid is milk of Shub-Niggurath, to help you in the reproduction department.
Volrath: The book is currently blank, but will fill itself with the story of your lives. It will stand testament to everything you stand for.
Terra: Thanks :embarrass
Kaizer_Ryu

06-19-06, 10:07 PM		OOC: This is before urial angel of death's post. And, if I remember correctly, isn't Shub-Niggurath milk rather...dangerous? But I guess I didn't expect any less from the two of them. :D

IC:

After tending to some of the wounded, Terra stands over Dendril's corpse next to Urial. Lisa walks up next to her as well.

Terra: *sigh* I was wondering who was causing all the ruckus below decks...

Lisa: It's pretty obvious you knew him.

Urial: We met him when Tomoko decided to hunt me down. I was the first of my family to study the Necromatic arts, which she considered blasphemous.

Lisa: But...why would she want to kill you? Why go to such extremes?

Urial: The Silver Torch got to her. Turned her into one of their fanatical assassins. After all they put her through, she became obsessed with 'purifying' our family of my 'taint'.

Terra: We defeated her and meant to leave her for her comrades, but she managed to get free.

Urial: She took my eye, and would have taken my life if I hadn't killed her.

Terra: Unfortunately, Dendril came upon us at that time. He loved her dearly, and the sight of us killing her drove him mad. We managed to take him down as well, but we didn't kill him.

Urial: I was in pretty bad shape at the time, so we had to leave him. He came after us several times after that. Sometimes it was in revenge for her death, others it was to get her back, depending on how insane he was when we encountered him.

Lisa: I guess...this time he had just had enough...
rampant

06-19-06, 10:18 PM		Satnak - You are so dead. :D

Elminster Jarrlot Sr. - guhgauhgk

Satnak - How many times do i have to kill this joke?

Black pearl flashes...
urial angel of death

06-19-06, 10:18 PM		OOC: Everything in the Mythos is dangerous to one degree or another. :D
Kaizer_Ryu

06-19-06, 10:28 PM		Black pearl flashes...
Terra: *sees pearl glowing* Uh-oh.

Lisa: I'm really hoping this goes better than the one guy from the page we burned...
Crystalforged

06-20-06, 12:07 AM		OOC: Here again to force your daily sanity checks...



IC: During one of the quieter moments of the reception Caralot enters the tent with freakish creature [see end of post].

Terra: Ugh, Caralot, what is that thing?

Caralot: Oh this? Well Kani-poo was going to be busy for a bit with Krozen so I deciede to bring along my first real success produced by my breeding experiments. He's bigger, faster, stronger, superior in all catagories.

Creature: (in a very deep, growling voice with the slighest hint of malevolence) PIIIIIIIIII-KAAAAAAAA

Caralot: (sheepishly) Well actually I haven't been able to do anything about the speach impediment yet but I'm working on it.

Terra: :uh-huh: Ooooook then. Good enough for me.

Kanatash: (floating in just then) My business is concluded with the cardinal. Well at least for the moment, his true suffering has only begun. Well then, when does the dancing begin Terra?



OOC: If you want to see what the creature looks like check the video HERE (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4005512637761601588&q/). Just FYI but before you check it out I felt I should inform you that the first time I saw this footage I found it disturbing and horrifying. Your millage may vary but you have been warned.

EDIT: In case you can't figure it out which one I'm talking about (it's a slim chance) it's the second character to appear (the third is just as horrifying however and most of the others are no better).
Kaizer_Ryu

06-20-06, 12:27 AM		OOC: :uh-huh: :twitch: Oh. Dear. Gods. That is, quite possibly, the most horrifying thing in the history of horrifying things. Why did they have to do that? WHY? Well, I didn't see Link, so I guess they figured he'd win every time. That, and the fans would burn the developers at the stake if they did that to him. :D

And I wasn't sure if the dancing or speeches should come first, I've seen it done both ways. I want to see what rampant's up to first, then we'll go to the dancing.
rampant

06-20-06, 02:50 AM		OOC : I'm not up to anything yet, its just gonna flash each time she kills someone till she begins her change... That may count as foreshadowing I'm not sure.
-------------------------

Kithle - *puts away the detonaters* I Hope you enjoyed the show.

Crow - meh Too tame

Kithle - *click*

Fwoom

Crow - I'm pink aren't I :mad:

Silver - :eek: Worse... Fuschia

Crow - That :censored: Bastard

Kithle - Thats magnificent bastard to you. :D
Kaizer_Ryu

06-20-06, 03:45 AM		OOC : I'm not up to anything yet, its just gonna flash each time she kills someone till she begins her change... That may count as foreshadowing I'm not sure.OOC: Oh, ok. It would do that, wouldn't it? I just kind of figured it had reached 1K HD. It was Elminster, after all...

IC:

As soft music begins to play, the brides step out onto the stage. The dance is slow yet entrancing, their dresses twirling as they move, creating a semi-hypnotic effect. How they manage not to trip is anyone's guess, but their movements seem to simply flow like water. As the song finishes, several more couples join them on the floor.

OOC: Ok, the first dance is done. I simply couldn't find the words to describe what it looked like in my head, so this'll have to do. For some reason, all I can think of is the big dance scene in FF8. :banghead: BAD Kaizer! No thinking of the worst Final Fantasy (IMO) while typing!

I'll do the bouquet tosses after a while, maybe in the morning. We'll see how things go. Now, on with the celebration!
rampant

06-20-06, 10:15 AM		Satnak - I dun fel so gud :pint: :yuck: .

Chalky - ... How did she get drunk?

Roosevelt - It was Elminster Jarlot, I'm surprised the fumes alone didn't get the whole ship.

Satnak - Row Row Row yer boat...

Chalky - HELP
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-20-06, 11:05 AM		Silver: So you don't like being pink?

Crow: Fuschia.

Silver: Okay, fuschia.

Crow: By all that is boring, no! If I'm going to be fuschia, I need to be a bunny. (bunny transform)

Kithle: So now you're a god of death…who's a bright pink bunny?

Silver: What, why'd you think people feared death?

A convenient evil person appears in the center of the room.

Bunny: :devil: (vorpal rabbit bite of horribly embarrassing death)

Kithle: No worries…(pulls out holy hand grenade)

Silver: Not going to work.

Kithle throws the grendade. It envelopes Bunny.

Bunny becomes bright white and grows angel wings.

Kithle: Now what?

Angel Bunny (cute voice): I'm here to spread hapiness and wuv!

Everyone: *glare at Kithle*

Silver: Kill something in an especially cool way.

Kithle: What?

Silver: He's still a god of death under there. All he needs is some inspiration.

Klaz: Crickey!

Obvious what happens.

Bunny: Whew! For a moment there I thought I was going to have the spread sickening cheer. (turns black, grows cool horns)

Silver (to Kithle): Lesson?

Kithle: Maim or otherwise physically hurt the Entities of Non-existance.

OOC: Crow is now Bunny. Deal with it.

And Crystalforged? That doesn't look like something Caralot would create: it's not cute, it's not so much "aberrant" as "disguisting". This is what she could create:
IC:
5814. Caralot is not allowed to make any more small cute foxes with tentacles replacing its multiple tails.
5815. Because we all know what tentacles are used for on this ship.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-20-06, 11:52 AM		OOC: Lord Kale Fangblade, I intend to do an exchange between Terrek and Sa’vor on Terrek’s plane. I’d like you to fill in Sa’vor’s replies if you wouldn’t mind. I’d been planning this for some time, but this seemed the perfect opportunity so I had to take it. I intend for their conversation to be a bit of an eye opener for Sa'vor. I hope you like it.
.

Sure. i'll fill in the replies. this should be very intresting.

oh and also. Sa'vor had a back up plan. he was just waiting for it to charge up. but i belive i'll save that plan for our next opponent.
Crystalforged

06-20-06, 03:30 PM		OOC: You're right Silvercatmoonpaw, it doesn't fit Caralot, but that clip was so horrific I had to use it somehow. That just happened to be the best fit I could come up with on short notice.



IC: Devon aproaches the mic.

Devon: Have a passage I wish to recite to you all, ahem, "there once was a man from Nantucket-"

He is proptle cut off as half a dozen of Sa'vor's half-dragon security force tackle him and proceed to beat the living **** out of him.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-20-06, 05:30 PM		OOC: You're right Silvercatmoonpaw, it doesn't fit Caralot, but that clip was so horrific I had to use it somehow. That just happened to be the best fit I could come up with on short notice.
OOC: Make it one of the opponents the ship faces at some point. Something more suited to being horrific.
IC: Devon aproaches the mic.

Devon: Have a passage I wish to recite to you all, ahem, "there once was a man from Nantucket-"

He is proptle cut off as half a dozen of Sa'vor's half-dragon security force tackle him and proceed to beat the living **** out of him.
Bunny: Getting closer…
urial angel of death

06-20-06, 06:44 PM		:coolcthul : Where is my girl when there's a dance. :weep:
Ketler: You have a girlfriend?
:coolcthul : A wife actually. Her name is Idh-yaa.
Ketler: Why can everyone but me get laid?
:coolcthul : Well Devon isn't getting any either.
Ketler: :weep:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-20-06, 07:34 PM		:coolcthul : Well Devon isn't getting any either.
Silver: Sorry, you're wrong on several counts. First, Norbaz is still in the awkward stage with Andrea. Second, there are several other relationships which don't include "gettin' any", including Sa'vor and Slip. Third, several other male crewmembers who couldn't get a date if their lives depended on it. Fourth, Devon and Silence want to take their relationship slowly.
urial angel of death

06-20-06, 07:42 PM		:coolcthul : I wasn't saying Devon was the only one. I was simply pointing out an example of when Ketler was wrong.
cypher_zero

06-20-06, 07:46 PM		OOC: Hope you don't mind my jumping in.

IC:
Silver: Yea, but It's still not right to put Kelter in with Devon. It's just mean.
.
urial angel of death

06-20-06, 08:04 PM		:coolcthul : You're right poor Devon doesn't deserve to be compared with Ketler on dating ability.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-20-06, 08:05 PM		OOC: Hope you don't mind my jumping in.

IC:
Silver: Yea, but It's still not right to put Kelter in with Devon. It's just mean.
.
OOC: It's okay, but bland. :bored:
IC:
Silver: Devon's insane, not perverted.

Bunny: Hey, Ketler. I happen to know some of Krozen favorite brothels, and the special codewords he gives to his loyal lieutenants when he wants them to have a good time.

Ketler: You'd give those to me? :D

Bunny hands him a slip of paper. Ketler starts dancing a merry little jig, and hops away.

Silver: Didn't I see you copying that from Krozen's list of highly embarrassing secrets?

Bunny: :devil:
Cannibal_Penguin

06-20-06, 08:11 PM		(As he is walking away)
Michael: (IHH)Wow...I thought my life was bad already, but this is just to much...Terra was right, I shouldnt have been thinking about Lisa as something to win like some stuffed animal. Maybee if I hadnt treated her like that this would have all come out ok....I really hope she didnt see me throw away that ring...

*opens the door to his quarters and sits down on the bed*

Michael:*puts face in hands* I just want it all to go away :weep:

(in a French accent) ???:Michael, are you alright?

Michael whirls around to see a drop-dead-sexy woman with sparkling, blue eyes, dark, sandy-blonde hair, curves too amazing for words, wearing as least as decently possible sitting sideways on his bed.

Micheal: :OMG! :love: :drool:....who are you?

????: :blush: My name is Danielle. I am the physical manifestation of all your desires.

Michael:Wow...my desires are hot

Danielle:*snuggles head under Michael's chin and closes eyes*Mmmmm...I'm so tired. Coming into existance is really exhausting...I love you:cloud9:

Michael: :weep:

Danielle: Why are you crying?

Michael:Not even my mother has ever said that to me before :( ..I love you too. :weep:

Danielle:Aww, you poor thing...

They both lean back onto the bead and fall asleep in each others arms

OOC: Don't worry, this isnt gonna turn all mushy...stuffs gonna happen. (no not that stuff ya sickos :P )

________________________________________ _________




Danielle
Human/Vampire
Bard4/Shadowdancer 8
Danielle is actually not a real human being or vampire. She was created from a mix of all the psionic energy wandering around the ship and Michaels blackguard powers, witch he inadvertanlty used during the heartbreak he is suffering. Only the psions aboard the ship can see her, and she will only appear to non-psions when she wants to. The more powerful Ubers are extremely worried about her existance, because they see it as if Michael can create a life on accident, theres no telling what he can do on intentionaly. Michael is extremely confused and afraid about creating a human being, but doesnt really care because he (for now :schemes: ) has a purpous in life.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-20-06, 09:05 PM		Silver: Hey! Michael, you backstabber! Don't muscle in on my turf!

Bunny: Creating hot women?

Silver: Creating weird sexual situations.

Bunny: Party needs to liven up.

Silver: And while Satnak can't possibly hurt us, it's very inconvenient.

Bunny: *sigh*

13: I'm still a bit confused. Does "not do anything useful" mean we can't do…words fail me. We can't do things that have value?

Bunny: No. We just can't do anything that advances a plot line.

Silver: But since being random means we have the potential to do anything, we're not constrained by that rule.

13: There has to be something we haven't thought of.

Silver: Various drunk party guests snogging each other.

Bunny: Previously unknown relatives showing up…

Silver: …possibly bearing previously unknown children.

Bunny: Embarrassing drunken ramble.

Silver: Accidents.

Bunny: Murder.

13: Wedding crashers.

Bunny: Who can we get to crash this wedding?

Silver: Without being immediately blow away by Satnak.

13: She needs HD to power her pearl thing. We just invite some people without stats.

Silver: Magic items don't have HD.

Bunny: What fun are intelligent magic items going to be at a party?

13: Eberronian gods? They're not stated—oh, wait, deicide arm.

Silver and Bunny: Meh, let's just make some people sing.
cypher_zero

06-20-06, 09:26 PM		OOC: By the by, on Terrek’s plane, time is morphic, so this is all happening while Terrek is at the party hitting on some hot paladin chicks. Sa’vor might also be around doing other stuff as well, but all of this takes place before anything they might be doing on/around the ship relative to them. To everyone else, Terrek was gone about five minutes and then showed back up.

Sa’vor awakens slowly. The first thing he feels is the burning pain in his chest where the open wound lies bleeding his life’s-blood from him. He tries to move his hand and finds he can’t. He can’t move at all. Slowly, fighting against falling back into unconsciousness, he opens his eyes and lifts his head to peer at his surroundings.

He’s lying on an obsidian slab, his hands and feet shackled by thick black chains. He flexes his arms, trying to be free, but the pain in his chest forces him to stop. Suddenly the silence is broken by the sound of faint footsteps.

He turns to look at his captor, wondering why he’s not dead yet, weak as he is, and Terrek steps up to the table. A bemused smile plays across his face as he speaks.

Terrek: Oh good, you’re awake.

Sa’vor: What the… you. Where am I?

Terrek: You’re in my lab. You took a nasty couple of blows, tore right through your armor incidentally. I’m having it repaired.

Sa’vor: Why am I tied down? What are you planning?

Terrek: Calm down. It’s nothing like that. You just kept clawing at the wound in your sleep so I had to tie your hands down.

Sa’vor: And my feet?

Terrek: You kicked me in the face when I was tying down your hands. Now then, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, your vampiric healing isn’t working. Actually, most of your powers aren’t going to work for the time being. It’s one of the effects of being on my plane; prevents any of the denizens of my realm from becoming too powerful. They’re mostly peaceful, but every once in a while… but I digress. I brought you here for a reason. I’ve been watching the ship for some time now, you in particular.

Sa’vor: Why me? And are you going to untie me?

Terrek: Hmm? Oh, yes. (Waves his hand and the chains disappear.) I wouldn’t recommend getting up though. You’re too weak still.

Sa’vor: Couldn’t you just heal me?

Terrek: That would entirely defeat the purpose. (Cuts Sa’vor off as he’s about to speak) As to why I’ve been keeping an eye on you in particular, well let’s just say we’re something of kindred souls. That is, if you still had yours…

OOC: I’ll leave the next bit to you Fangblade.
.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-20-06, 09:52 PM		The lights suddenly dim and a multicolored ball of light lowers from the ceiling. A panel in the stage opens up and Marish rises from it on a platform. Sultry music begins playing. It is obvious to everyone where this is going...

Terra: Since when was there a pole on stage?

Lisa: No idea. It wasn't there before...

Terra: Should we stop her?

Lisa: A better question would be; will everyone else let us?

Andrea walks on stage looking displeased and drags Marish into the ship, despite massive protests from the crew.

Marish: :bigeyes: :weep: :bigeyes: :weep: :bigeyes: :weep:

Andrea: Big, teary anime eyes are not going to work on me. I can't believe you did that!

Marish: With everything that happened, we never got to do bachelorette parties! I was gonna be the entertainment at both of them!

Andrea: That doesn't give you a good enough reason to show off like that!

Cuddles: *appearing beside them* You know, I think I may have a solution...

Andrea: ...do you mean what I think you mean?

Cuddes: :devil:

Marish: :angelhide

Andrea: *buries her face in her free hand* Whatever. Just go away. *lets go of Marish*

Cuddles & Marish: :w00t: *they take off*

Andrea: Damn that Nalfein. As if things weren't akward enough with Norbaz, now I have to deal with those two going at it like rabbits...

OOC: Remember, Marish is her familiar, so Andrea experiences a bit of what she does. :D
cypher_zero

06-20-06, 10:02 PM		OOC: Wait. Does that mean that Andrea has "been with" Jarlot by proxy?
.
Rei32491

06-20-06, 10:13 PM		posted it too soon editing it now
Cannibal_Penguin

06-20-06, 10:13 PM		I remember reading somewhere that Jarlot and Andrea had a relatoinship, but it didnt last...Mebee she still kinnda likes him so she sends Marish cause she feels awkward about Norbaz....
urial angel of death

06-20-06, 10:21 PM		OOC: Yes it does. It also means she has been with most men on the ship by proxy.

IC: Volrath and P/Y/R are while dancing slowly getting closer and closer to the punch bowl, while trying to look inconspicuous.
Volrath: What exactly is this stuff going to do?
P/Y/R: *wispers*
Volrath: If you put that it the punch everyone will be...
P/Y/R: Won't it be fun! :schemes:
Volrath: You are amazing.
P/Y/R: I know. :D
Volrath: Just have to make sure to stay clear of Silence.
P/Y/R: Yeah, with some of the things I have planned those piercings would hurt.
Volrath: What are these things you have planned?
P/Y/R: You'll just have to wait and find out. :devil:
Volrath: I can't wait. :smirk:
cypher_zero

06-20-06, 10:35 PM		OOC: *Shudder*
Rei32491

06-20-06, 11:08 PM		OOC: Kaizer won't let the Cuddles and Marish thing go! SCMP: I. Hate. You. So. Much! :P :D

Several people posted while I weas typing, so here's what I would have posted before.

IC:

After Marish's "display" Mickey and Ketler are talking.

Ketler: Who says I can't get laid! I can have any woman I want! I'm...just waiting for the right one to come along...

Mickey: *takes a swig of his Potion Grigio* You'll be waiting forever then. *hic*

Ketler: Shut up! I bet you I can get someone to sleep with me by the end of the night.

Mickey: *trying to focus* All right. What do you get if you win?

Ketler: Bragging rights...and something to prevent 'performance anxiety'. What do you get?

Mickey: I just want the pleasure of watching you crash and burn. :devil:

Ketler: :mad: Who should I go for first...hmmm...most of the women on board either hate me, are lesbians, or a combination of the two. *scans the room, sees Urial* Ooooooo...that might work...

Mickey: *watches him strut* I'm gonna be busy tonight... *swig*

Ketler walks up to Urial and "leans."

Urial: :ahem: What are you doing?

Ketler: *in a Chicago accent* I know karate...

Urial: *gives him a withering look* I know about you and your "idiosyncrasies", little man.

Ketler: *losing his nerve* I-I-I...uh...um...*composing himself, speaking Keaneu* I know kung fu...

####: For the last time, no you don't

Urial: *pulls out her scythe* You have ten seconds.

Ketler turns to run, only to hear:

Urial: Time's up.

Ketlar: WHAT?! That wasn't even close to ten sec-!

*horrendously violent scene not suitable for the public*

Urial: *her scythe covered in Ketler blood and flesh* And THAT is what happens when you hit on me.

Bunny: :inlove: I love you.

Urial: :rolleye2:

Terra: Cool it a bit, will you? He's just a hopeless little idiot.

Urial: *sigh* Fine. *tosses her scythe to Volrath*

Volrath: *sluuuuurp* Mmmmmm...organs...

Ketler: Get off me, you mangy beast! I'm still using that!

Cuddles: *having popped in briefly* Mmmmm...spleen...

Satnak: *completely ignoring the scene* Mmmmmm...chili...

Jarlot: *chugging* Mmmmmm...beer...
urial angel of death

06-20-06, 11:14 PM		OOC: Wow Cuddles turned down sex for food.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-20-06, 11:15 PM		OOC: No, no, no urial. He just popped in for a moment. He needs a break every now and then, you know. :D
Rei32491

06-20-06, 11:28 PM		OOC: Wow Cuddles turned down sex for food.
No, no, no urial. He just popped in for a moment. He needs a break every now and then, you know. :D
OOC: :headexplo :banghead: :hoppingma :rant: :fight!: I hate you both SO MUCH!!! :)
Kaizer_Ryu

06-20-06, 11:36 PM		OOC: I really wish all of you were here to see Rei's reaction to the Cuddles and Marish scenes. It's priceless. :D
rampant

06-21-06, 12:37 AM		Kithle - I think you guys are losing your touch.

Silver - What?!

Bunny - Why I oughtta

13 - ???

KIthle - Andrea raised one of terra's relatives, Satnak is drunk, and the pholli's are on the dance floor. If you can't work with that I need to figure out a way to derive benefits from eating your non-existant brains and take your jobs.

------------------------
OOC: Was there going to be a Beryl + Satnak thing or did i just imagine those posts?
Kaizer_Ryu

06-21-06, 12:45 AM		OOC: Was there going to be a Beryl + Satnak thing or did i just imagine those posts?
I want to see how that pans out too, but Chrys just seems to have disappeared. He could be on vacation. I hear tell that most normal people do that during the summer. It's possible security missed a few of the looneys. :D They won't let me have any sharp objects.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-21-06, 06:38 AM		Kithle - Andrea raised one of Terra's relatives,
Silver: What do we do with that? Unless they can embarrass Terra or start a feud, all that's left is groping. Oooo, idea…

Bunny (to Kithle): Remember that this is your own fault if it comes back to haunt you.
Satnak is drunk,
Bunny: Do the words horribly inconvenient discorporiation not mean anything to you?
and the pholli's are on the dance floor.
Bunny: We promised not to do anything destructive. But if you want bad dancing…

A glittering ball appears in the air. The floor becomes many colored squares. Jarlot comes out wearing a white suit with flared pant legs and collar. Stupid struts out in a jerky dance.

Kithle blasts the disco ball.

Kithle: Right: do not give them ideas.

13: Not done yet!

Music: Hey, Macarena!

Kithle: Okay, okay! You're starved for inspiration! I'll stop mocking you.
*******
Meanwhile, still trying to win his bet with Mickey, Ketler follows the direction Bunny wrote down for him. He finds himself in the only seedy section of Flamekeep, where narrow alleys are hidden from the clean main streets by false walls. He arrives in front of a rather non-descript house, the only noticable feature of which seems to be it's door is a little large.

Ketler takes out the paper and studies it. He taps an intricate series of knocks on the door. A viewing slot slides open.

Feminine voice: Yyyyyyyeeeeees?

Kelter: Tira Miron likes to lick.

The slot slides closed. Locks are heard being undone. The door opens. Ketler steels himself for what glory he is about to experience. He can already imagine who he wants to do at the Cardinal's expense.

Very Feminine Ogress Mage: OOOOOOOOO! Man-meat!

Ketler: Ack!

He tries to run, but is bodily dragged inside.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-21-06, 07:37 AM		I want to see how that pans out too, but Chrys just seems to have disappeared. He could be on vacation. I hear tell that most normal people do that during the summer. It's possible security missed a few of the looneys. :D They won't let me have any sharp objects.
OOC: Man, that's sad. They let me have sharp objects. I can't stand sharp objects. Prefer to talk my victims to death.
******
Caralot ducks out of the party briefly to check on her patient. She appears in her room. The wolf is layed across her bed, untied. No change: he's still out cold from the knockout dart. She kneels, a look of concern crossing her face.

Kantash floats through a wall.

Kantash: You'd shouldn't get so worked up over him.

Caralot (mumbling): But I'm the only one here who knows…

Kantash: Knows what?

Caralot looks up at him, surprised.

Caralot: I forget sometimes that you can't really read my mind.

Kantash: I won't lie: I've tried. But there are many parts which just dissolve in a swirl of chaos.

Caralot: It's my connection to Thyrs. It drowns out my thoughts to anyone but me and it.

Kantash: We have to be honest with each other. Is there something you're not telling me?

Caralot: I think…can you read its mind? (she points to the wolf)

Kantash: It's just the normal emotions of an animal. Why?

Caralot sits down and puts her hands over her face.

Caralot: My Eberron is different. More different than you can imagine…
Chrys

06-21-06, 09:18 AM		OoChrys: Sorry guy I have really bad writers block... I Think I'm Nixing the Beryl & Satnak [for now at lest], Right now I'm trying to work in a 'evil' Twin Lisa [ The queenie poo gave brith to both but Evil basterd took one of them and kept her in Dreadhold sort of thing. ]

Letter appears next to Terra and Lisa,

Dear Terra and Lisa

I'm sorry I missed the Wedding and Now the resection. It seems The Demon lords broke few minor law in Thane [ by minor I mean like Jaywalking and littering and being a living embodyment of evil, Not rape and murder and the like... even though I hear the knight how got slimed by Jubilex wishes he was dead] when I sent them there pick up Lisa gift... Damn Over charging Thanish merchants, The get away with charging a Million gold for a full suit of Flame touched plate and they call me Evil!

So any way I'm now In Dreadhold trying to bail the demon lords out... Crap for some reason the ship lawyer just got arrested; What do you mean he in contemp! Bloody Dwarfs! Terra's gift is in my room on the desk next to the fontain of blood... P/Y/R knows where is ... I'll get Lisa sooner or later.

Oh thats it The Dwarfs are going Down! Ask round see if there is any one else I need to break out.

Beryl-Demon Princess

Ps. Don't feed the red shirts
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-21-06, 02:32 PM		in reply to cypher zero's post.

Sa'vor: *Chuckles* many people dont notice that i dont have a soul. i can still feel emotion. i can still love... but its as if its from far away. its like a dream. but the advantages are easy to see, i cant die very easily. i ignore most pain. i dont feel thirst or hunger... other than for blood. i dont feel remorse for the crimes i've committed or guilt. i dont really whant a soul, it never did me anygood when i had one. i dont dream either. it stops many of my enemies having an advantage over me. how are we kindred spirits you and i? explain
rampant

06-21-06, 02:52 PM		ishmael jr. - No cake? :weep: :confused:

Phollie and Pholly - WHAT!!? :mad: (drip goo)
cypher_zero

06-21-06, 07:43 PM		OOC:In reply to Fangblade. Hope you like it.

IC:
Terrek: We’re immortals. We shall live forever on this world though so many will pass onto the next. This leaves us with more time than many minds could conceive of. Have you ever heard that there are wizards who spend their whole lives striving to find a way to let themselves live forever only to realize afterward they have no idea what to do with eternity once they find it? The veil of time has less meaning to us than to the dragons, who in all their arrogance believe themselves to be supreme. They are fools. Though the greatest among them may live a thousand years or more, even they eventually succumb to the cold grip of death when their time comes.

So I ask you, what do you live for? What makes you continue to go on? You know in the cold depths of your heart that you have all of forever to live. You know that you shall not succumb to disease, plague or pestilence. The mortals are constantly fighting for every ounce of time that they have on this plane, but you have all the time in existence. What do you intend to do with it?

A few minutes ago you tried to kill yourself. Not directly of course, but you knew you couldn’t win that battle. It was lost from the start because you didn't care enough about it. Have you even lost the urge to kill, to destroy? You say that you still hunger for blood, but is it the blood running free from a gutted corpse that you crave, or is it only the blood needed to satiate your thirst?

(Terrek pauses for a moment to let Sa’vor consider his reply. Just as he’s about to speak, Terrek draws a small red orb from inside his cloak. It pulsates with a red glow and black swirls intermingle with the red. Sa’vor stares at it as though it is a long lost friend, one that he had nearly forgotten about but turned up unexpectedly. He stared and as he stared wondered if this lost friend returning was a blessing… or a curse.)

Terrek: What if I told you that I could give you purpose again? What if I told you that without your soul, you are so much less than you could be? And what if I told you that I could give it back to you, and make you so much more…
.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-21-06, 08:27 PM		OOC: Oh, there's cake. I just wanted to wait a bit.

IC:

Terra: *looks at the letter from Beryl* Well, it looks like she'll be busy for a while.

Lisa: I do agree that some merchants gouge a bit, but I hope she doesn't hurt anyone...

Terra: They're prison guards. They can stand to take a few lumps.

Lisa: I know, but still...

Terra: She's smart enough to know when to stop. But everyone's getting restless. What should we do first, the cake or the bouquet?

Lisa: I say cake.

(moments later)

Norbaz and Erk wheel out a large multi-layered cake covered in white icing. There are multicolored flower patterns around the edge of each layer. On top are wax figures of Terra and Lisa.

Terra: Shall we?

Lisa: Yeah. :D

They ceremoniously cut the first pieces from the cake, Jaela Jarlot furiously snapping pictures.

JJ: Thanks you two. That dance was wonderful too. I'll be sure to get you copies by tomorrow.

Terra: *blinking furiously* My eyes!

Lisa: *rubbing her eyes* That's...uh...great Jaela. Thanks.

As they walk back to their table, the crew assault Norbaz and Erk with demands for cake.

Terra: *takes a forkfull of cake* Here you go hon.

Lisa: Thanks. *takes the bite and returns the favor*

Terra: *chomp* Mmmm...this is good. We'll have to give our compliments to Greyfeline. *another piece*

Lisa: *munch* I know. I was a bit surprised by the ingredients, though. *again*

Terra: *gulp* Real angels and devils. Who would've thought outsiders taste so good?

OOC: The whole idea of devils angel cake made of real devils and angels was just too funny to let go.

EDIT: It just occured to me what rampant meant. Don't mind me, I'm a bit slow today. I think it's the oppressive humidity. I hate Iowa summers...
rampant

06-21-06, 10:24 PM		Satnak - Merrily Merrily merrily... ?cake?

Chalky - Thank the heavens my ears were bleeding!!!
Crystalforged

06-22-06, 12:09 AM		OOC: Just thought of something that makes the "pika-man" incident make sense. Not the video, nothing can make the make sense, but why Caralot brought it at least...



IC: Kanatash and Caralot are still in their room when Caralot turns to Kanatash.

Caralot: (with a stern tone) As long as we're alone for the moment, "honey," there's something I need to "discuss" with you.

Kanatash: (in his head) Uh-oh...

About this time "pika-man" wanders into the room and moves to stand next to Caralot.

Pika-man: Piiiiii-Kaaaaaaa.

Caralot: (angrilly) Oh, shut up, you worthless haunch of flesh.

Kanatash: Wait a moment, heard you call him a "successful" experiment in front of Terra?

Caralot: (pushing the creature into ) Of "course" I did. I'm not about to admit that this "thing" I brought with me to the party was a complete failure.

Kanatash: (confused) Then why bring it in the first place?

Caralot: (rounding on Kanatash) "Maybe" because my fiancee was to busy ****ing with some cardinal to acompany me.

Kanatash: (cowering and laughing nervously) Honey, sweety, we went over this. I mean, it's what I do and he had it coming.

Caralot: (turning away and sniffeling) Then I suppose you don't love me enough to make some sacrafices for my sake.

Kanatash: No, no, honey-buns, I do, I love you so much!

Caralot: (turning to face him again) Then prove it, profess you love to me.

Kanatash: Oh no, not THAT.

Caralot: Yes that, if you really love me you will profess your love 100 times.

Kanatash: (sigh) I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. (gasp) I love you.

Caralot: That was only 99 times, start over.

Kanatash: (groan) I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. (etc. etc. ) I love you. I love you. I love you. (panting)

Caralot: (embracing Kanatash) Oh, Kani-poo, I'll always love you. You're just so silly.

Kanatash: (rolls his eyes in exasperation) I love you too honey.

Caralot: (suddenly turning stern) Did you just roll you eyes at me?! Say it a hundred more times!

Kanatash: :weep: Yes honey...
Crystalforged

06-22-06, 12:09 AM		EDIT: Oops, double post.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-22-06, 01:19 AM		OOC: Crystalforged, that actually makes quite a bit of sense. Which is disturbing in its own right coming from the near undisputed 'master of insanity'.

By the way, seeing Kanatash as wipped is hilarious.

IC:

Most of the quasi-available females on board have gathered for the tossing of the bouquets. P/Y/R stands eyeing her competition. She is surrounded by NJ26, Silence, Andrea, Jaela Jarlot, Saberiel, Tabitha, Marish, Sakura Jarlot (who is promptly hauled away by her father), and several female Paladins. Lisa goes first.

The ensuing melee is a sight to see. A dozen (more or less) grown women fighting tooth and nail for a bouquet of flowers. It would be embarrasing, really, if it wasn't so much fun to watch. Finally, a victor emerges...

P/Y/R: YES!! I got it!

Sort of...

P/Y/R: :( Awwwwww....

Holding up the bouquet, she realizes there is only one flower in the bundle. Looking around her at the disappointed faces, she notices that the flowers are spread out among them. Before they ready themselves for Terra's throw, they see the bouquet go soaring over their heads. It lands in the lap of a very surprized Slip. She looks up just in time to see a rather devious grin on Terra's face before she turns to talk with Lisa.

Lisa: You did that on purpose, didn't you?

Terra: :D What can I say? I couldn't help myself.

Ketler: :waits: Ahem...

The two of them turn to see nearly every male at the party standing there, waiting for their turn.

Lisa: :rolleyes: As if...

Terra: Sorry guys. We know what'll happen if we throw garters.

Guys: :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes:

Lisa: No.

Guys: :allalone:
rampant

06-22-06, 02:34 AM		Terra - Don't be sad we have a surprise for you :angelhide

Guys - :)

Lisa - Satnak

Satnak - :D :pint:

Guys - :weep:

Satnak brings the Rambuster around in a sweeping arc, that sends them all flying.

Satnak - This hammering was brought to you by The Armory, "If it ain't one of ours, Your better off without it" and Dragonmeat Den, "kids eat free if you kill it yourself"

Lisa - Nice lift, I never was much for the rising hammer strikes myself, too hard to control.

Terra - Why the Plugs?

Satnak - You try coming up with a better punchline, when you've spent the last couple hours three sheets to the wind.

Lisa - That was a hammering not a brawl.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-22-06, 02:40 AM		OOC: I was planning on just letting them sit there, but that actually works better. Well played. :thumbsup:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-22-06, 07:08 AM		OOC: The whole idea of devils angel cake made of real devils and angels was just too funny to let go.
OOC: My original idea was to have the angel cake attack the devils and the deviled eggs attack the angels. But I got lazy, so I just shortened it to the best part.
Is the wedding over? I'm not in a hurry, it's just that I need to wait till then to have Terra and Lisa open my presents.
And no one cared about what I did to Kelter? :weep:
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-22-06, 10:27 AM		( a raging argument begins in Sa'vors mind as the different persona's put forwards their side of the argument)

The Daemon: we dont need a soul! all i we need is destruction and bloodbaths!

The Paladin: we need a soul, Sa'vor needs a purpose. if he dosent have one he'll just end up fading away

The Dark: for once paladin boy is right. Sa'vor needs a focus. he can't just keep going through the motions like this

The Vampire ( a version of Sa'vor with blood red pupils, dressed all in black with a gentlemen like air and a charismatic aura): lets look at the facts people, even standard vampires have souls, they need a soul to bring a purpose to their existance other than drinking blood. so far, sa'vor hasnt had a purpose in a very long time. BUT we need to think, what does terrek whant in exchange? nothing is for free.

The Reaper: * a cloaked and hooded version of Sa'vor with eyes like the void, carries a Scythe.* we need not a soul. the feast of death will bring us all the souls we need

The Killing Machine: we are here to do the Derranged lords work. wreath destruction and desolation. we need not of a soul or any other purpose.

The Nightmare: Who needs a soul? we should be doing the wishes of Dal Qour!

( many hours of talking in sa'vors head lasts about a milisecond of real-time)

Sa'vor: (out loud, to terrek) i'll accept my soul back. i've wieghed all the advantages and disadvantages. and in light of the eternity that is lain before me i belive i'll be needing it.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-22-06, 11:24 AM		Is the wedding over? I'm not in a hurry, it's just that I need to wait till then to have Terra and Lisa open my presents.Almost. I'm still hoping for more toasts by other characters and the Random Entities.

And no one cared about what I did to Kelter? :weep:I thought it was funny. I just figured he'd wait until after the reception to leave. You know he'd want to be around for them throwing the garters, so I couldn't NOT put him in there.

IC:

Kaizer_Ryu: *steps up to the mic* Hi there. I felt that, at such an important occasion, I should say a few words. So here they are: Foible shindig gabardine spatula galoshes macadamia.

Crew: :confused:

Kaizer_Ryu: Ok, now that that's out on my system, here's my toast. When I first brought Terra aboard, she was barely more than a one dimensional character in my head. I have watched you grow tremendously since them, far beyond my wildest expectations. Even when you first expressed interest in Lisa, I figured it would only be another of the multitude of unrequited loves aboard this ship.

Terra & Lisa: :mad: Hey!

Kaizer_Ryu: But, fortunately, it didn't. It became something I have enjoyed participating in immensely. Seeing what comes next in your story has become one of my great joys in life. I think this is akin to how a parent feels when their child succeeds, or when a teacher is surpassed by their student. Though I may be the one typing your story, you two are the ones writing it.

The entity raises it's glass, swirls into a ball, which folds in on itself before disappearing. Left behind on the stage are two hair ribbons with a note attached. It reads: To my girls. May you never fade from my mind.
Charles Phipps

06-22-06, 11:35 AM		Bravo....

And because I can't wait to start the next plot....

After the Wedding....

Jarlot's Bedroom

Arianji: IT IS TIME JARLOT.

Jarlot: Who the Hell!?

Arianji: I AM Arianji.

Jarlot: Say what?

Arianji: I AM THE SUPREME LEADER OF THE LORDS OF DUST.

Jarlot: And that's supposed to impress me Tony the Tiger?

Arianji: I AM HERE TO HELP YOU FULFILL YOUR DESTINY TO CONQUER ALL LIVING THINGS.

Jarlot: I've heard that before.

Arianji: MOCK ME AT YOUR PERIL.

Jarlot: How do you get everything into caps anyway?

Arianji: I SHALL BEGIN MY GUIDANCE WITH A LESSON ON ATTACHMENTS...

*Aerith stirs beside the Captain*

Aerith: Jarlot, what's going o....

*Aerith is stabbed then by a Soul Sword that appears in the Rakahasha's hand*

Aerith: Jarlot....

Arianji: FAREWELL.

Jarlot: AERITH!

* The Solar Devas' wings slowly crumble around her form as she stares upwards while caressing his cheek......and only Brianna's dead form is in Jarlot's arms*

*The scream that echoes is sincere*

Jarlot: NOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

***

Funeral

It was amazing so soon after the joyous wedding of Terra and Lisa that there would be a tragedy but Andrea insisted. The Necromancer arranging for the body to be embalmed and entombed on an island south of Sharn that the crew often used to refuel. The Captain's look was weak and numb from the magntitude of his loss even as all attempts to ressurect, raise dead, or even reincarnate the two women were for naught.

A terrible storm brewed over the funeral and it matched the mood of the airship.

Arijani
Quasi-Deity Rakashasa Caliph
20 Cleric of the Fury/18 Illusionist

Arianji the Lord of the Lords of Dust is the most powerful of their race. The son of the father of the Rakashasas in Ravana and a mortal woman that was the avatar of the Lady of Destruction, Arijani slew his mother after asking to become immune to all weapons but what defeated his father. He briefly was a Lord in the Demiplane of Dread but escaped when the Mourning tore a dimensional rift into that realm through the Plane of Shadows. He then promptly set himself up as the leader of the Lords of Dust. As a half God, he looks down upon all beings in Eberron except for those of divine blood themselves....limited to Jarlot and a few immigrants.

Arijani wields the Soul Sword that is a relic of his time in the Demiplane. A +6 Soul Stealing Outsider Slayer, the weapon is one of the few devices that can permanently destroy a Outsider in Eberron. He is using it to slowly weaken those forces that might oppose his domination of the planet from the spawn of Xoriat to his fellow Lords of Dust.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-22-06, 12:50 PM		OOC: :OMG!
Wow. Now what? I put a stake in Aerith too, with Saberiel's child. Hmm, I guess I'll have to change my entire "after the wedding" plot. That's actually one thing I love about this collective story: it forces me to use ideas I've already dismissed.

Unless Charles wants to handle the whole thing on his own. In which case you should say so.
Chrys

06-22-06, 12:53 PM		Chrys: Yo I'd just like to say after Beryl and P/Y/R; Terra is my favorite person on the ship...

Rest of the crew : :ahem: :hoppingma

Chrys:: So I hope you lead a happy life... As much as a fictional person who lives here can. Also I have to say I really thought FF 6 was a crap load better the 7

Neo- Tifa :rant:

Chrys: Then again I like 9 the best so far... any way I have to go back to have Beryl and the demon lords break Lisa evil Twin out of jail.

Lisa: WHAT?!
rampant

06-22-06, 02:17 PM		Satnak - .................This ends now. Give me the sword if you want to exist in the next second you cretin.
Phantomcrossing

06-22-06, 03:23 PM		At the funeral Norbaz thought about what Areith had said to him some months ago...about his actions in Thrane during their frame up. He sighed and contemplated a these proceedings, and further considered the ship's new foe. As usual, Satnak was intimidating empty space waiting for the Rajah to show itself so she could merely destroy it.

But what about everyone else's desire for combat or revenge.

This foe sought to destroy extraplanar forces that could stop it...hmm...

Volrath was at risk as was Savor.

A trap needed to be sprung, and a plan needed to be put into action. As the rain started to fall, the half giant removed an umbrella from his pack and walked to the monument as many of the other crewmembers were returning to the ship, a few other stragglers standing and lingering before the grave for their own reasons.

Curled beneath the marker's shadow was the Captain...destroyed by this death at the base of the monument the crew had erected after the service. An empty bottle of something in his hand as he lay. Norbaz extended his hand keeping the rain off of the captain.

Norbaz: Captain...I think its time we began planning our retailiation for this tragedy.

Jarlot: ...

Norbaz: Captain, it should be your hand to strike down the Rajah. We are all behind you for this act of revenge. Michael is already gearing up as are several others begining efforts to track our prey.

The captain releases the bottle and slowly stands to full height. A strange aura of dignity and cold calculation about him.

Captain Jarlot: Gather the crew on deck and prepare to depart, I have orders to give and we need to be back in Khorvaire yesterday.

Andrea, Terra, Lisa, Chalky, Slip, Dooj, Pholly, and Norbaz now surround the captain: Aye Captain!
rampant

06-22-06, 05:48 PM		Kithle - This cannot stand. One of our own has been slain beyond our power to revive. The Raksasha will pay.

Slams Deathpaper (blade form) into the table tip down.

Kanatash - I agree this is intolerable.

Stabs a pointed dorje in next to Death paper.

Sa'vor - We must have Vengeance.

A kama joins the golem and the dorje in the center of the table.

Satnak - No one attacks my home and goes unpunished, but we must get the sword. Brianna might still be in that thing.

A deep scorch mark from Satnak's focused gaze completes the centerpiece.

--------------------------------

Chalky - Raksasha Rump Roast.

Roosevelt - Hand me the de-sanding paper.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-22-06, 06:27 PM		Lisa and Terra sit on the bed in their room, Lisa regaining her composure.

Lisa: What do we do now?

Terra: This is too big for us to just leave. We'll postpone our honeymoon till after all is said and done.

Lisa: There's no guarantee that any of us will walk away from this...

Terra: There never is. But rest assured, I will not go down easily. Our life together has just begun. I will not let some demented bastard stand in the way.

Lisa: Nor will I. There will be time to grieve fully later. Right now, we have a Rakashasa to hunt.

Terra: That's my girl. Let's go.
Charles Phipps

06-22-06, 07:22 PM		Jarlot: *has glasses on as he goes through his scrapbook* And there's us at Seaworld. I'm poking Shamoo with a stick.

*Ketler is with Michael beside him*

Ketler: Captain, really, everyone is expecting you to lead the charge against the Lords of Dust. You really can't just go sitting around reading about your old photos of Aerith.

Jarlot: I'm not going to order a counterattack.

Ketler: Say what?

Jarlot: This isn't a group of flunkies Ketler. This is the LORDS OF DUST. They are an organization older than anything else on the planet with the exception of Khyber. They engineered my birth for crying out loud. Do you think we're going to walk away from attacking them without more causalites? Whose next? It could be you, Michael, Jaela....you're my friends and family. I don't want to lose anymore.

Ketler: Damn...

Jarlot: I just need some time alone.

Michael: Dad....

Jarlot: Go away Michael.

Michael: Fine.

*It was then the door opened*

Aerith: Jarlot. I'm here! I'm actually alive and want to tell you that....

*Jarlot threw a knife beside her head*

Jarlot: Andrea, I am NOT in the mood for your games.

*Andrea drops her polymorph self*

Andrea: Oh please Jarlot. SOMEONE had to take drastic measures to convince you to get out of this ridiculous funk. Do you think you're the only person whose ever lost someone? I'm a freaking NECROMANCER. How do you think I got into this business? It was trying to bring back people that *I* have lost in the past. Believe me, there's no one else who understands pain and suffering from death more than a member of the Blood of Vol.

Jarlot: I don't need you or the advice of your freaking Emerald Claw brethren.

Andrea: Fine, shut yourself off and become a demented introvert like most of the people onboard this ship. Kanatash will have a field day with all that pent up Angst. I bet you'd even LIKE it with all of the masochism that you seem to wallow in whenever someone you really CARE for dies.

Jarlot: DO *NOT* bring up....

Andrea: Remember Terra's mom? Remember how before she went off to retire with her brats how she was a member of our group? Remember her father? I know you like to pretend we're still in our twenties but I remember them. I also remember how he DIED just randomly there on the battlefield after a hundred victories. I know how you blamed yourself...

Jarlot: I don't need this. AND IT WAS MY FAULT.

Andrea: Death happens Jarlot. It happens RANDOMLY and without warning. Just like...

*Jarlot cocked a pistol at Andrea's head*

Jarlot: Like this?

Andrea: Would it make you feel better? Cause killing does that. It gives you control back of your life. It's the side to Necromancy that gives us a bad name. The power to heal and the power to destroy. Terra's mother Diana could never stomach that with her Gatekeeper beliefs.

Jarlot: Shut up.

*he then forced a kiss onto her, one she didn't resist*

Andrea: You know I'm already spoken for.

Jarlot: And the one person I care for is dead. Now let's get to it. *his eyes on the verge on tears*

Andrea: Just promise me when its over we'll spill some blood. I hated Aerith but she deserves that much.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-22-06, 08:55 PM		OOC: Very interesting, Charles. I never would have thought of that. Great work.

And this is something I wanted to do after the reception.

IC:

Terra: I'm glad you could come. I'll miss you both.

Lilly: It was beautiful. I wish you two the best.

Feralyn: I'm honored to have experienced it. The little troublemaker is all grown up.

Terra: :D :blush:

Lisa: It was a pleasure to meet you.

Lilly: Oh! There's something we wanted to give you before we left.

Terra: You didn't have to get us anything...

Lilly: *pulls out a box* Gaia wanted me to give you these on your wedding day.

Stunned, Terra slowly reaches out and takes the box. Opening it, they see two large folded pieces of cloth, one black and one grey. The two of them can feel the magical energy eminating from them.

Lisa: What are they?

Lilly: The black one is a Robe of the Archmagi for Terra, the other is a Cloak of Resistance for you, dear. She entrusted them to me for safe keeping.

Feralyn: Gaia could see certain things. Though she couldn't control her power, she did have a vision of you two.

Terra: Really?

Questions raced through Terra's head as they pulled out the gifts. If Gaia had seen this day, what about her own death? If so, why didn't she stop it? What about all the things she had done since Gaia's death? This cloak...it was designed for an arcane caster of evil alignment. But she hadn't gone evil, or even become a Sorceress, until after...

Feralyn: There's one more thing in there.

Lisa: A note?

Unfolding the yellow paper, the note reads as follows:

"I give these to you, my daughter, on this most joyous of occasions. I do not know why, but I will not be there with you. I love you with all my heart, and no matter why you chose this path you travel, that will never change. I am proud to be the one you call mother. I know you will give your new wife all the happiness you gave me, and then some.

-With love eternal,
Gaia Branford

P.S.: I expect grandchildren!"

Unsure of whether to laugh or cry, Terra stands there as Lisa holds her tightly.

Lilly: We'll leave you two alone now. Make sure to visit us once in a while.

Lilly shifts to bird form and flies off. Feralyn smiles, nods, and grasps the gem around her neck. It glows brightly for a moment, and she too transforms into a bird. Lisa watches them fly into the distance as Terra cries tears of relief into her shoulder.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-22-06, 10:09 PM		OOC: Charles, I would like to state for the record that you have ruined the flow of the wedding. Just an opinion, please don't take it personally.
IC:
While the crew has gone back to the FF to prepare it for launch, Jarlot still stands by Aerith's grave. Presently he notices the small, black, winged rabbit standing around.

Jarlot: Come to pay your respects?

Bunny: No, I've been here making you all grieve.

Jarlot: What?

Bunny: Bluntly? I'm making all of you die a little inside.

Jarlot stares in confused horror.

Bunny: I'm a death god. :blink: What?

Jarlot: You…your making us die?

Bunny: I'm supposed to. If I don't, the world falls apart. I can't be nice to you just because I hang out with you. I mean, I killed Aerith.

Bunny is not in the least surprised to find itself picked up by the neck in what would be a stangling grip on someone who breathed.

Jarlot (eyes blazing): You're telling me that you—

Bunny: You're interpreting wrong what I said. You're seeing it through the mind of one who lives.

None of this seems to get through to Jarlot. But as he stares the hand he is holding with begins to decay, then the decay climbs up his arm, and, as he drops Bunny, it starts on his other hand.

Jarlot: WHAT IN KHYBER IS GOING ON?!

Bunny: Just showing you my true form. And this time it really is. (he nodds in one drection) Look at her.

Jarlot looks over to see Silver standing next to the grave. But now he can see that she's just and image, and realizes that she always is. When she says she doesn't exist she isn't just stating fact: she's defining her "existance". Then he looks back at Bunny. And he has to turn away. Because while there is no rabbit there is its true form: life.

Jarlot: What's going on?

Bunny: Silver is just an idea, a conveniently labeled piece of myself. "Birth" doesn't exist. It's all death: energy moves from one form to another, and it looses a bit of itself with every transformation. The universe lives by getting a tiny bit closer to death in every moment. Mortals don't "live": they just die very slowly.

Jarlot looks down to see that the decay of his arms is gone. But he knows that it was just an image to show him what his body was really.

Jarlot: Why are you showing me these things?

Bunny: :bored: No reason.

Jarlot: Then why—

Bunny: You asked. I'm just here to make sure that even things such as your happiness die. It is a kind of death, after all. It's part of your instinctual communal bond: if you feel bad when one dies, you try harder not to have that happen again. If I just let go then who knows who else'll die.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-22-06, 10:12 PM		Now sitting in his office, Jarlot tries to think of a plan to take on the Lords of Dust. But his mind has wandered back to that conversation with Bunny.

Jarlot: What did that all mean?

Bunny: Having trouble?

Jarlot: Should I be surprised you're here?

Bunny: No.

Jarlot: How do I do it?

Bunny: I'd destroy the whole universe.

Jarlot: Should I even ask?

13: My method. If everything dies than nothing can hurt you or hurt anyone else.

Jarlot (looking at Bunny): You too?

Bunny: I'm not really the god of this universe. I've just been contracted to do this ship so long as I'm here.

Jarlot: Can it be done?

Bunny: Killing semi-divine beings? Of course. No death=no life. Outsiders aren't really immortal. They just live so long it only seems that way. Gods too. Everything.

Jarlot: Why? Why does evil exist?

Word Being: It's a product of the power = dumb ratio: beings grow so powerful that they can't think any more about how the world would be just fine without them. They become control freaks.

Jarlot: What about this ship?

Word Being: Every evil person on this ship is all wrapped up in their own overly complex plans to such an extent that it's as if the plans are really the living things and they've just brought this machine into being to give them a plaything. What do the good people do? Just sit back and occasionally bust heads.

13: That's why Sa'vor's dead: he exists more for prophecy and whatnot than for himself.

Jarlot: Why is all this helpful to me?

Bunny: Because if you kill the Lords of Dust it doesn't do anything to the thing that's really living: the plan. Kill the plan, and the Lords will be the ones crumbling.
Charles Phipps

06-22-06, 10:19 PM		OOC: Well to be fair, I had actually placed the murder of Aerith AFTER the wedding and presumably weeks after.

I had thought it wrapped up.

:sheepish look:
Crystalforged

06-22-06, 10:27 PM		Kithle, Sa'vor, Kanatash, and Satnak are still sitting around the table, planning their attack against the Lords of Dust.

Satnak: So what's the status of the rest of the crew. Who can we count on to stand with us.

Sa'vor: Practically everyone. Arieth wasn't the most popular crewmember but for most of the crew this ship is their home and the crew is their family, no matter how disfunctional. They don't take attacks on either lightly. The biggest problem is the captain, some of the others are trying to get him motivated.

Kithle: Well if he won't stand with us we will move without him. These actions require retribution. (pauses) Do we know where we should make our strike?

Kanatash: Not yet but I believe Caralot is doing something about that.

---

The scene cuts to the pokemon dimension where Caralot stands on the balcony of a massive tower looking down upon an assembled army of mutant pokemon. The army writhes beneth her, it's number at least 10,000 strong, as she speaks to them in a magically magnified voice.

Caralot: Hunt them down. Do not stop until they are found. You do not know pain, you do not know fear. You will taste demon-flesh.

A vast corous of miscellaneous Pokemon cries echo throughout the dimension as the army, each individual marked with a white palm print, begins to march through the portal to the forgotten freedom so that they might search out the Lords of Dust and learn all they may for their master.
Charles Phipps

06-22-06, 10:39 PM		Jarlot: Thanks.

Andrea: Sokay.

Marish: *YAWN*

Jarlot: Okay, that's creepy.

Marish: I like sleeping on my master when she's asleep. It's especially fun when I stick my claws out.

Andrea: Do you think we should tell Terra about her father?

Jarlot: And add further fuel to this problem? Besides, she'd never believe us.

Andrea: Her mother died only 250 years ago....

Jarlot: That's a long time for naturals.

Andrea: You're half fiendish. I'm a Necromancer...aka I LIVE FOREVER if I'm doing my job right. Why shouldn't she believe we're a few centuries old.

Jarlot: You never did like Aerith though.

Andrea: I'll miss her. Good friends are hard to keep up. I don't want her soul kept by a monster like the Lords of Dust anyway.

Jarlot: What I want to know is what they've got planning. This is pretty abnormal behavior for that group of regenade demons.

Andrea: I don't think we need to find out...because they won't live long enough to do it.

Jarlot: Well the bunny said that Demons on Eberron weren't immortal if you knew how to kill them right.

Andrea: Say what?

Jarlot: Errr nevermind.

Andrea: Still Terra is a smart girl. She'll figure out the truth of Gaia eventually.
Phantomcrossing

06-22-06, 10:52 PM		The half Giant cooky approaches Michael's room and knocks. From inside Michael replies.

Michael: Yes?

Norbaz: I've gathered my full stock of Khyber Shards, it won't be enough to bind more than ten lords of dust long enough for us to kill them.

Michael creeks open the door.

Michael: What do you suggest.

Norbaz: We need to find the largest vein ever and harvest it for the cause.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-22-06, 11:50 PM		OOC: I must disagree with you to an extent, SilvercatMoonpaw. Just because they're evil plotters doesn't necessarily make them idiots obsessed with power. I also have issue with your assertion that they don't realize that the world would be fine without them. Of course it would. What some people try to do is make the time they live in just a little different. Whether that difference is good or bad, for themselves or for others, is up to them. In the long run, does anything really matter? Not really. All will disappear at some point.

For example, I currently have something in the works with Terra and Lisa. It will be strung out over quite a while, not really a story arc on its own, but more of a side plot for most of it. Will anything they do matter in a few thousand years? Probably not. Even the massive incursion of the Daelkyr long ago has only limited effect on Eberron currently. The Dhakanni Empire would have fallen eventually, all empires do.

What I'm trying to say is, power for the sake of power may be dumb, but I'm trying to find a way to use it for a purpose. They have the ability to shape the events around them, why shouldn't they? Life, even if it is (as Bunny said) simply dying really slowly, has no set goal. If you wait around for your "mission" to find you, you will only end up with an empty life and nothing to show for it. Your life really was worthless, and Bunny's statement is valid. Life does not give you purpose, you give purpose to life.

I don't want to start a big philosophical argument, I'm just trying to show where I, and (by proxy) my characters, are coming from.

On another note, this is another thing I wanted to do before the next story arc. It's kind of important for later. Much, much later, but still needs to be done now.

IC:

Cardinal Krozen finally arrives back at Flamekeep, free of those psychotic pirates. His departure and return had been done in utmost secrecy, but such events cannot be fully contained. Already, whispers about him floated through the streets. He returned to his chambers, hoping that a good nights sleep would clear his mind. It was going to take quite a lot to keep this incident under wraps. Upon entering his room, he sees a rather unwelcome sight.

Terra: Took you long enough...

Krozen: You! What do you want?! I did as you asked, now leave me be!

Terra: You misread my intentions, Cardinal. Or should I call you Father, now? :devil:

Krozen: *cringing at her implications* What do you want, then?

Terra: I just wanted to say something. Despite the fact that I had to scare you to even get you to show up, threaten incomprehensible pain to get a half-assed apology for a horrific act out of you, and one of my friends had to coerce you into walking her down the isle...thank you.

Krozen: ...huh?

Terra: The simple acts of acknowledging her as your daughter and apologising to her have made her happier than she was before. You were exceptionally rude when you left, but she got more than what she expected.

Krozen: *relaxing slightly* What are you going to do now?

Terra: Nothing.

Krozen: ...you're serious, aren't you?

Terra: We may yet meet again, but for now, I'm going to leave you alone. I have said my piece. I cannot speak for the others, but I will not bother you again unless you give me reason to. You know what those reasons are...

With this, she fades back into the shadows, leaving him alone again. She seemed sincere anough about letting him be, but he knew there was a catch. There always was with people like her. He just had to figure out what it was. Oh, well. He'd start on that tomorrow. Just as he falls asleep, a memory surfaces...

"Daddy? What are you doing...?"
cypher_zero

06-23-06, 12:11 AM		Terrek: (Terrek smiles and turns to Sa’vor.) Excellent. I had hoped you would understand. Now then, let’s proceed shall we? (Terrek raises his left hand and the chains spring back to bind Sa’vor.)

Sa’vor: Wha…!

Terrek: I won’t lie to you. This is going to hurt like h*ll, but I need you conscious to do this. I can’t do anything about the pain either but it’ll be worth it.

(Terrek draws a long dagger from the inside of his cloak. The dagger glows a faint green in the darkness and white symbols stand out along the blade. Terrek spins the dagger almost casually in his hand then plunges it into Sa’vor’s chest, cutting through his ribs from his collar bone to his navel.

Sa’vor’s screams echo throughout the lab and Terrek grins slightly as Sa’vor stares at his open chest. No blood flows from the wound and Sa’vor watches his own heart beat for a moment. The sound of its beating magnifies such that it fills his ears drowning out his echoing screams.

Terrek draws a sliver needle from his cloak and holds the orb in front of him. The orb hovers in the air slightly as Terrek threads the needle with silver string. He then thrusts the needle through the orb piercing it and drawing the red and black swirl along the string.

Terrek leans over Sa’vor’s body and his four chains rush out to hold open the wound he’d made, exposing the beating heart even more. Sa’vor screams rise even higher as Terrek plunges the needle into his heart. Terrek draws the string tight and plunges the needle in again and again, crisscrossing the thread into an intricate symbol.


The symbol is finished and only a short length of string is left. Terrek pulls it taught on Sa’vor’s heart and the symbol glows with a black light. Terrek wraps the string around his right ring finger and breaks it.

Sa’vor’s screams stop and he throws his head back, clenching his teeth as he fights against the pain. Terrek presses his hand against the still beating heart and black energy emanates from it. Sa’vor screams anew and Terrek grasps the open flesh and draws it together, speaking words to seal it. The flesh mends as Sa’vor’s vision fades into darkness.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(The darkness fades and Sa’vor awakens. Immediately his hands fly to his chest, running up and down, feeling for the gaping hole that was there. The flesh is mended and no new scar mars his skin. Then he notices the black pulsating symbol on his chest, identical to the one that was sewn on his heart. He runs his claws over it absentmindedly and looks around the room.

Then he realizes it; everything looks different, almost as if his entire world was shrouded in darkness and he had just now been lead to the light. Sa’vor sat up. He felt different too, like he’d been energized. He felt strong, stronger than he’d ever felt before.

Sa’vor stood up and thought with a clear mind. No more fragments of himself vying for control, no more chorus of voices fighting to win the eternal struggle for dominance in his head. His mind was his own once again, whole and unfragmented.


Sa’vor stared around the room, taking in all the depth of vision he’d been missing. He noticed his reflection in a glass tube and walked over too it.)

Sa’vor: Green. My eyes are green. (Sa’vor’s eyes glowed solid neon green; no white or pupil or iris broke the sea of green that was his eyes.)

(Terrek appears in the doorway behind Sa’vor, unnoticed as Sa’vor stares at himself, mystified by his own appearance.)

Terrek: Yes, well, some minor physical changes are to be expected.

(Sa’vor whirls around at the sound of Terrek’s voice. He stares at the man and for the first time realizes the perfection of the being. Sa’vor feels his gaze drawn to the man’s eyes and stares into the obsidian orbs.)

Terrek: Amazing isn’t it? I feel that way every time I devour a soul; as though I’m suddenly complete again. (Terrek strides into the room and peers at Sa’vor.) I envy you. Would that I were able to reclaim my soul so easily.

Sa’vor: What?

Terrek: I’m a soul eater. I have to devour souls to replenish my own. Souls are a frail thing. Once broken they are nigh-impossible to repair. My soul was shattered by a dark demon lord. I devour the souls of others that I might maintain mine. Without other’s to replenish mine, it would fade away and I would be as a shadow upon the world, worse than you were at your darkest moments. I envy that your soul can be returned so easily whereas mine is forever broken.

(Terrek pauses and closes his eyes. Sa’vor stares at him as he seems lost inside his own mind. Then Terrek jerks his head forward, as though to shake the thoughts from his mind and looks at Sa’vor.)

Terrek: But let’s not speak of me. I’m sure you wish to know the price you paid for having me bind your soul to you.

(Sa’vor nods as every muscle in his body tenses, testing his new strength. Why hadn’t he asked the price before? He still didn’t trust this man, no matter how charismatic he was.)

Terrek: I thought as much. You paid the price of power. You can feel your body and you can feel new energy coursing through it. You are more powerful than you were before, but less so than you would be had you never given up your soul to begin with. The energies that you feel are your own, but they are now also mine. You are forever linked to your binder, and your power is my power. The stronger you grow, the stronger I grow. I can reach to you whenever I wish, and take as much of your power as I wish, though I doubt that this will be necessary. Merely being connected to you increases my own strength so that I don’t have to draw on yours. Likewise, you will feel some of my power in you, though you may not draw more as you wish. In truth, this was but a small price to pay, and I could have taken so much more. But I am content. And never forget this favor I have bestowed upon you this day. You are in my debt. Now, return to the ship, we are needed; I’ll be along shortly.

(Terrek waves his hand as Sa’vor’s about to speak, but is instead teleported to the ship.

Terrek smiles to himself and feels his new power coursing through is veins.)

Terrek: Hmm… what’s this? Psionics? I didn’t expect that… That gives me an idea…

OOC:
Terrek – revision

Name: Terrek
Race: Human/Living Construct/Aberration
Classes: Combat Sorcerer 4/Artificer 5/Renegade Mastermaker 10/Soul Eater 10/Fleshwarper 10/Psion 4/Cerebremancer 2 (CL 24, ML 6)
Alignment: LE

After reuniting Sa’vor with his soul, Terrek has acquired some of his power and the ability to draw more at his whim making him considerably more powerful and giving him some control over Sa’vor, something the Half-dragon probably isn’t too happy about…

OOC: Now, to jump into this next plotline. I wanted to continue this for a bit longer but looks like I have to let Sa’vor get back to the ship since he’s already there…

Oh, and Terrek's wiki is updated...

P.S. If you can figure out where I got the idea for the whole sewing soul on the heart thing, you’ll get a cookie. :cookie:
.
Gladius_Lucix

06-23-06, 01:30 AM		ooc: Hello, again. The wedding looked great! Now for a few plans.

IC:

As Terrek returns to the Forgotten Freedom, Liam comes up to talk to him.

Liam: Hello. I don't think we've met. I'm Liam d'Ghallandha. And you are?

Terrek: I am Terrek. Why are you introducing yourself to me?

Liam: I've been doing a study of the various people (in some cases, I use the term very loosely) aboard this ship, and the effect this group has on the fabric of reality. I've gotten most of the crew interviewed, except for a few redshirts and, according to my records, you, Mr. Terrek. When could I schedule an appointment for you to come down?

Terrek: Just "Terrek." No "Mr." And I'm quite busy at the moment. Could I just drop by sometime later?

Liam: That would be fine. As I said, I'm almost done with the interviews. Thank you for your time.

With that, Liam waves goodbye to Terrek and returns to his room.

Liam: Not only are the interviews done, I think I almost have the device that detects the various weirdnesses aboard. Next step is harnessing the weirdness. I may need some help on that part.

Liam pulls out some paper and begins to write.

MEMO
To: All ship board artificers and those that enjoy item creation.
From: Liam d'Ghallandha, B.S. Magi. Sci.
Re: Research Project help

For those that may not have heard, I am performing a research project involving the general weirdness and insanity that pervade the environment of the Forgotten Freedom. My first two phases of the project have been completed: cataloging, analyzing, and categorizing the crew by expect weir/insan output, and constructing a device to measure this output. The third phase will be constructing a device to harness this power, to be put to use power the construction or functioning of various artifice. Anyone wishing to help, meet me in my room tomorrow.

P.S. For those thinking my timing on this memo is a little ill timed considering the major loss the crew has suffered, consider this: The entire reality warping force of the insanity on this ship, harnessed, channeled, and focused through the Mi-Go Cannon.


Putting down the pen, Liam steps out the door.

Liam: 13...

13: Yes?

Liam: Could you please spread this memo throughout the ship?

Liam hands 13 the paper.

13: Will do. See you later.

Liam: Thank you. Good bye.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-23-06, 01:44 AM		Terra, Jarlot, Andrea, and Lisa sit in the Captain's quarters. Terra has her head buried in her hands, Lisa quietly listening as Jarlot tells them about Terra's parents. As part of it, he has several photos and image crystals strewn about the desk.

Terra: Wait...wait...it simply doesn't fit. You say my father died and my real mother disappeared. Then who was it that we fought?

Jarlot: That confused me as well. He didn't recognize me, and he had a different name, but I know it was him.

Terra: What did he call himself before?

Jarlot: We knew him as Beren.

Lisa: *looking at a photo* This woman...she looks just like you.

Terra: That's my mother. I can only assume the baby is Haru.

Andrea: It is. Diana was so happy. Her first son. And her second child.

Terra: Second? But wasn't it just...?

Jarlot: *picks up another photo* Your big sister, Amelia.

In the photo is an elven girl of about 5. Beren carries her on his shoulders as she reaches for butterflies while Diana carries baby Haru.

Terra: I...had no idea. All I ever knew about was Haru...

Andrea: Perhaps it has something to do with what happened to your parents.

Lisa: Why haven't you said anything before?

Jarlot: I had repressed most of it till recently. I've never forgiven myself for his death...

Terra: How did it happen...?

Jarlot: That's what bothers me the most. We had just finished a skirmish with some hobgoblin raiders when something drove your mother's horrid ape berzerk. It gutted him before any of us could properly react.

Terra: ...my mother was a Gatekeeper?

Andrea: And a damn good one. I don't know why it took me so long to put it together that you were her daughter. On top of being her twin, you have her talent.

Jarlot: We tried to raise him, again and again, but to no avail. By all accounts it should have been possible, but...

Terra: *her brow furrows for a moment, then*...I think I may be able to find out more.

Andrea: How?

Terra: The description of his death is quite similar to something else I've read. Only from another perspective.

Lisa: You mean...Theronas?

Terra: *nods* That part made little sense to me the first time through, and the work was painstaking enough, so I skipped it a bit. Looks like I'll need to decode the rest of his diary...

Jarlot: Guys keep journals, n-

Terra: Not diaries. I get it. *she starts to leave*

Lisa: *following her* Is there anything I can do?

Terra: Yeah. If this is going where I think it is, I'm gonna need your shoulder again...

Lisa: *smiling softly* It's always open. Just don't push too hard. You're no good to anyone if you run yourself ragged.

Terra: *lays her head on Lisa's shoulder* I love you...

Lisa: *leaning on Terra's head* I love you too.
rampant

06-23-06, 02:38 AM		Satnak is meditating alone in a stone chamber. She is wearing her full suit of spiked armor, and is hanging from the cieling by grasping it with one hand.

Satnak - I will not allow this.

If Brianna can be saved, then I will see to it that she is.

If she is gone, i will destroy those who aid the one responsible.

And that one will wish I had granted him the same mercy.

I am coming for them.

I am almost ready.

I am the Breaker Prime, and I will not be denied.

The pearl flashes once from beneath the armor.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-23-06, 07:08 AM		Bunny: In response to Kaizer_Ryu: meh, I was bored, needed to write something, idea pops into my head, I get it down.

OOcat: Hey! I'm supposed talk to the Entities from Beyond Non-existance.

Bunny: I'm part of you. Inseperable. Bite me.

OOcat: Since when did you become so philosophical?
******
OOC: Crystalforged, don't worry about this next bit.
IC: Kantash enters Caralot's room to find her packing a small travel bag. The white wolf has awakened by now and is watching Caralot, but reacts predictably to the presence of Kantash. Quench is zipping about yapping, as usual.

Kantash: What's going on?

Caralot: I'm going home.

Kantash: :eek: :confused: Wha………Why? Is it me?

Caralot turns to Kantash and gives him a kiss despite his incorporeality.

Caralot: It's only until this whole thing with the Lords of Dust blows over. *Khyber-deep sigh* It's just that this Eberron is very tiring.

Kantash: Tiring? You'll have to be more specific than that, it's not like living on this ship is anything less.

Caralot: So many factions want to destroy the world here, or force it under their terrible rule. Back home it's not that bad. Some of the rakshasas are actually really nice people, like Tony here. (the look on her face is a mixture of fear and wonder, perhaps not at the same thing) When I came here I wasn't prepared for how bad it could be. Now I see that my world is a world where hope still lives, and not just perhaps in a few places but all over.

Kantash: So there's not danger? No Dreaming Dark, no Emerald Claw, no Mournland? I can't believe that they'd be peaceful.

Caralot: :mad: I've already told you, the Mourning never happened on my world. I'm not saying it's perfect, but it's not like here where fully 87.5% of the world is obviously out to get you and the remaining 12.5% probably is but you can't tell yet. (OOC: My true feelings about the Eberron Campaign Setting.)

Kantash: So what is this, a tacticle retreat? If you feel you need to, go ahead.

Caralot: Yes. I'm taking Saberiel with me. She's been devistated, and maybe my world can bring back her will to live. (Caralot has turned back to packing.)

Kantash looks over at the white wolf.

Kantash: What about him? You still haven't said anything about what he is.

Caralot: Oh, he's coming with me. There's something in my world he needs to see, make him feel better about himself.

Caralot closes the bag and then slugs it over her shoulder.

Caralot: My family's used to me being gone for long stretches of time without warning, but I really want to get back. To tell them about you, the ship, the crew. I mean, I not the only one here from an alternate reality, but the rest of you can find a part of this world that is yours. Me, I have you, my work here, but nothing else. I need to see my home….

Kantash forstalls Caralot's stream of words by bending down and giving another kiss.

Kantash: Alright. Go.

Caralot: I've left instructions with 13 on when and how to find me.
******
At the sight of Aerith's grave, now alone, a waver appears in the fabric of time. Two beings steps out. One is a wolf about the size of a horse, it's fur a patchwork of black and pastel blue. The other is a rather attractive teenager of a humanoid body structure, with two small horns and wasp-like wings, with a wtinger tail. She is dressed in a motly collection of furs and what are probably cast-off clothes, but sporting a jaunty purple beret.

She takes of the hat, kneals in the grass of the grave, and presses her forhead to the ground.

Lady: Father.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-23-06, 11:49 AM		Naz'roth, Sa'vor, Tara and Feal-Thas are arming themselves for the hunt to come. Naz'roth's face has become grim and determined. but in his eyes burns an anger that the world has never before seen since the age of demons. an age where the very gods trembled at the might of the Daemon lords. now one of the Rajahs was getting a bit to uptious. this was a time of mortals, the immortals should not be able to walk the earth. a balance had to be formed. Tara's pale face was burning with an unholy fury. her black robes fluttered around her in an etheral wind. Feal-Thas stood with his squad. The Shadowsteps . he raised a cloth with Rajah blood on it. the Sqaud sniffed it, and bared their teeth. Feal-Thas snarled and let out a warcry.

Sa'vor was serene. his mind foucused once more with a cold and calculating power. he could feel his emotions coursing through his viens. but he bent them to his will. there was time to feel sorrow another day. now was the time to plan, to fight. to hunt down this Rajah. a twinge of concern burnt at the back of his mind, Jarlot needed to come out of this flunk. Sa'vor shook his head, he wouldnt try and bring the captain out of it. the captain needed to find the strength within his self. Sa'vor drew an obsidian dagger from his belt and slashed it against his arm. he took the crimson blood that flowed from the wound and placed the Valenar hunters marking's upon his brow. then he donned his armour. the knowledge of his various spells, Invoacations and powers flowed into his mind. the wonders clammered at the back of his mind, he silenced them. and selected a few words of dark speech. he drew a black crystal from a pouch at his belt and whispered them into the crystal.
urial angel of death

06-23-06, 01:16 PM		Volrath walks through the aether. Souls of those unable to enter the afterlife float by. Each of them have their arms crossed over their chest and a look of peaceful sleep on their face. Volrath floats toward Brianna's comatose form.
Volrath: I never truely cared for you. I bearly even knew you. But you were a powerful ally when our goals conicided. Even more importantly, many others on the ship loved you with all their being. Because of that I will fight to avenge you. I hope that by doing that I can give you the true peace that you have earned, and give the crew the desire to continue living.

***

OOC: now for some more light-hearted stuff
IC: Nyarlathotep and his daughter walk up to Lisa and Terra.
Nyarlathotep: I'll be off. May the day we meet on the battlefield be far off.
A horrendous scream rips through the air and The Crawling Chaos is gone.
Clarice: Thank you for allowing me to come. Also I would like to inform you that my gift is dispeling the memory modification Kithle put on Krozen. :angelhide
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-23-06, 02:27 PM		Standing on the deck of the FF, Jarlot just gazes out over the clouds. Then he sees a dot off in the distance, trailed by a jet stream. As it comes closer he sees that it is a girl riding on the back of a wolf the size of a horse. Not sure what to make of this, he calls for the crew.

They arrive just as the wolf lands on deck, a mix of pastel blue and black. It announces its presence with a growl that sounds like the crashing of waves. The girl leaps off and strides over to the captain. Now he can see that she has a stinger tail and small horns, wearing weird patchwork clothes and a funny purple beret. She stands straight and salutes.

"Lady, daughter of Saberiel and Aerith, and Thyrs, formed of 13 and Quench, reporting fo duty, sir!"
******
Lady [female feytouched entomanthrope (wasp/scorpion) half-fiend angel, 10 vermin HD/monk 5/Master of Funny Hats 10]

In the future the crew failed its attack on the Lord of Dust, and very few escaped. When Caralot and Saberiel got back they were immediately killed. Lady (Saberiel and Aerith’s child) was left to die, but was discovered by Mrs. Fuzzy Logic, who raised the super-hybrid in the Way of the Funny Hat. Lady grew up in the shadow of the Demon War, which freed all the fiends from Khyber and enslaved the humanoids and other races, lucky that Mrs. Fuzzy Logic was able to hide them away but still close enough that she saw the horror of being a slave to the demons. Using her hat power Lady was able to find 13 and Quench and fused them into Thyrs. Now she has come back in time to prevent the future.

Lady’s main power is the funny hat she wears. This is an item that is so intently tied to Narrative Elements that it changes form to suit the situation, and has bonded to Lady in such a way that it is more a part of her body than just a hat and cannot be removed if it doesn’t want to.

Some of its forms:

Mime hat: face becomes mime-painted. create non-existant actually-working objects and forces.

Clown hair: grow huge shoes. enemies flee in terror. Heck, everyone flees in terror.

Samurai topknot: always has a katana. Gains cool samurai moves.

Nun habit: healing powers.

Pirate hat with huge feather: eye-patch and start talking like a pirate. Gains cool swashbuckling powers.

Angel Halo: wearer becomes all sweetness-and-light. functions as a constant circle against evil.

Mickey mouse ears: grow white gloves. Ears function as speakers and play sickening Disney songs.

Magician’s tophat: has to be flamboyant. May create really cool and non-magical illusions. Also, 1/day may take a +5 ranged keen vorpal bunny out and throw it at one enemy.

Propeller beanie: can fly and use propellers as blade attack.

Swami turban: talk in a funny Indian accent. Gains cool psionic powers.

Foam cheese wedge: unknown…


Thyrs [dire-wolf-like progenitor dragon of water (can use any spell or power related to water)]

Lady’s mount and guardian. He has brought Lady back in time to make sure the crew of the FF survives their encounter with the Lords. He gave up becoming an Entity of Non-existance to help. Also, due to his increased power he doesn't have a high enough intelligence to be considered more than barely sentient.

Sacred water: Thyrs got himself blessed by a cleric of the Silver Flame, so that now all water in his body is holy water. His saliva gives him a holy bite. He spurts holy blood (which heals non-evil creatures) on every lethal hit. He can also hallow and area by………on second thought, you can figure it out. Also any water spell or power he uses is also holy.
rampant

06-23-06, 05:12 PM		Satnak - How did I lose?
urial angel of death

06-23-06, 05:59 PM		OOC: The Lords of Dust are very powerful. I'm sure most of them have various instant death spells. 5% of the time Satnak has an automatic failure. (natural 1). Then againm she could have been one of the few who escaped. I imagine that most of the ubers would have.
rampant

06-23-06, 06:14 PM		OOC: I never could find where it said a saving throw could have an automatic failure. What page is that on?

-----------------------
Satnak - no seriously kid, if you wanna **** the timeline like this then do it right what did we do wrong the first time? This time? I HATE TIME TRAVEL!!!!

Kithle - The last time we had a time traveller you went nuts trying to get rid of it, why the tolerance now?

Satnak - She is only affecting our future, its my past that needs to be maintained.

Kithle - ... That sounds like a double standard.

Satnak - Possible, but I'm not in danger of spontaneosly blinking out of your universe, because of this timeline shift. I have a nice house here.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-23-06, 06:28 PM		OOC: The Lords of Dust are very powerful. I'm sure most of them have various instant death spells. 5% of the time Satnak has an automatic failure. (natural 1). Then againm she could have been one of the few who escaped. I imagine that most of the ubers would have.
OOC: Took me a minute to figure out what was going on. Didn't mean to ruin anyone's parade. It's just that when someone comes back from the future it means that they have to prevent something pretty major. I think I was actually thinking of the ubers when I said a few escaped. I had to make the backstory something that warranted breaking the whole "don't make major changes to the past" thing we've got going. The idea is that even the best of the FF can't do this without some intervention is the only reason I could see for that. I'll try explaining more:
******
IC: Lady: So this is what Satnak's like.

Satnak: Hurry up and spill!

Lady: I said that some of you escape. The ubers get away, more or less.

Kithle: Define "less".

Lady: The theory is that Satnak got sealed back up in her original world. Kantash is neutralized by someone completely sane. Sa'vor, as you've seen, can be very severely incapacitated. Terra's spirit breaks when Lisa is killed. Kithle gets away—

Kithle: Well, that's god news.

Lady:—at least, I don't know what happened to him.

Sa'vor: Can this really happen? Can we be defeated so easily?

Lady: I know you've always managed to take out your opponents before. But for the universe to work properly there has to be the probability of anything and everything. Something that can't die at least a little can't live. And these aren't your normal opponents: these are the Lords of Dust. They plan. They've been planning this ever since Jarlot defeated one of them.

Kithle: And your coming back means that we know the Lords' plan in advance. We have one edge they can't count on.

Lady: They'll have a backup. Several. But yes. I'm here to make sure you don't go in fingers blazing. You're too good for that.

Kithle: Well, there you have it, Satnak.

Satnak: That doesn't explain what we did wrong.

Lady: You rushed in. They know that you're the Breaker Prime, and they used that against you. They tricked you into targeting some sort of power thread that connects you to this world. When you broke it, you were literaly pushed by this world into your own. They didn't beat you, Satnak, they made you beat yourself.
rampant

06-23-06, 08:36 PM		Chalky - Does this mean I shouldn't throw marinade and ask for someone to fire ball them because that was my first plan.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-23-06, 08:43 PM		Chalky - Does this mean I shouldn't throw marinade and ask for someone to fire ball them because that was my first plan.
Tony the Tiger: That's a GRRRRRRRRREAT idea!

Bunny: Wouldn't be the first dish on this ship with intelligent ingredients.
cypher_zero

06-23-06, 08:45 PM		(Terrek emerges from the shadows silently, glancing around at those gathered and the “future lady.”)

Terrek: Always. It’s always the same. I’ve been watching this ship for years now and every time there’s a battle, you take a frontal assault. Ms. Breaker Prime here is the worst of you all. Mock my constitution all you want, but I use the intellect I’ve developed.

We need stealth for this. I care nothing for the dead; concerning ourselves with them is a waste of time; but the living will perish if we fail to act. This is why we can’t go in half-cocked. And we don’t even know the exact number of their forces.

If we’re going to do this, we need to do it right. We need intel first. (Thinks for a moment, rubbing his chin with his clawed hands.) We need Norbaz. This should be an assassination, not an assault. He’ll best know what our plan of action should be. He may not be an Uber, but he’s got the most experience with assassinations. If he can organize how we should go about this, get the Ubers into the right places to strike from, we won’t fail. He’ll be able to flesh it out in greater detail, but here’s my plan.

First we need to assess what we’re up against. We know it’s the Lords of Dust, but how many are there? How many Rakshasa are there? How many minions? After we assess that, then we can figure out which ones control which minions, etc. Then we take out the generals. That’ll leave their forces without leaders, throwing them into chaos. While they’re still figuring out what’s going on, we strike at their leader, the demi-god Rakshasa and kill him. Then we need to make sure he can’t come back. That at least I can do. The souls devoured by me never return to life, and I’d only be too happy to feast on his.

(Turns to Satnak) I know this is what you were summoned here for, but even you have limitations. I don’t know if your arm can contain him, and if so, for how long? You may be one of, if not the most powerful being on this ship, but the Rakshasa already know that. They’ll have taken that into account. You are likely to be neutralized first, perhaps even before we begin our attack. I’m the unkown here. I think half of the ship is still unaware of my existence, and none of you know the full extent of my abilities. Neither do the Rakshasa. Plus, I can draw on Sa’vor’s power, or feed him some of my own as need be. They don’t know about that either. We’ll have to use what they don’t know about us to our advantage. They’ll have already taken into account everything else.
.
rampant

06-23-06, 09:26 PM		Satnak - Arm? oh that got blown to hell vs. Alt-Satnak. I simply break the binds and flows to their energy streams until nothing cohesive exists. Even a god can't regenerate with its atoms floating free on solar winds.
cypher_zero

06-23-06, 09:53 PM		Terrek: Really? Hmm... well, huh. I can't believe I didn't notice it before. Oh yea, I was too busy with my plot to steal some of Sa'vor's power and control him at the same time. Jeeze. I must be blind or something. Well, that's what I get for taking my attention off the ship to pursue godhood for a little bit then spending all my time here plotting... oh well. I still stand by what I said. I'm eating that demi-god's soul. Because I want to. I don’t need another reason.
.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-23-06, 10:46 PM		Terra is busy translating as Lisa returns.

Lisa: Any luck?

Terra: A bit. How are things coming along with the counterattack?

Lisa: So far we've had little progress. Terrek has something up his sleve. I thought this would be something you'd get into...

Terra: I've never successfully infiltrated the Lords of Dust. They were on to me before anyone else.

Lisa: Still, your shadow power seems perfect for sneak attacks.

Terra: We have to assume they can counter it somehow. It is powerful, but not invincible. I'll use it if I must, but counting on it would be a mistake.

Lisa thinks for a moment, until a thought strikes her.

Lisa: Didn't you say once that you had a way to counter Rajas and their kind?

Terra: In a way. Come here.

Terra opens the book she is writing in to another page. On it are diagrams, magical symbols, spells, as well as instructions continuing for several pages.

Terra: This is the translated version of the ritual that was to be used on me. I had wondered why they needed conditions to be just so until I read this. The ritual requires a specific alignment of the Planes. How close they are to Eberron is of little consequence, just their relative positions. Something about the energy flow between them was needed to complete the transfer.

Lisa: But what about you? Why were you so special? Why did he even need you in the first place?

Terra: From what I've gathered so far, he manipulated my creation. It was a little scarce on the details on why, but I'm getting more as I translate. From what I can tell, the ritual is unstable at its core. Powerful magic is required to stabilize it.

Lisa: What kind?

Terra: Blood...my blood.

Lisa: :confused: Blood? But...you said magic...?

Terra: Have you ever wondered why blood is so important in nearly all rituals involving anything of great significance? It is because blood contains a magic far beyond, and far older, than any other.

Lisa: But why...your blood?

Terra: He needed someone that could not only handle vast amounts of power, but who meshed with his magical signature. I fit both bills.

Lisa: His...signature?

Terra: Your imprint on the fabric of existance as you move through it. It's kind of like an aura. Each one is different, but some compliment each other.

Lisa: I...guess I understand...but what about this has to do with rajahs?

Terra: This ritual is for draining outsiders of their power and permenantly adding it to your own. I took the basic concept and tried to make it more useful.

Lisa: Should I ask?

Terra: It's not as bad as it sounds. I had to sacrifice permenancy and complete transfer for utility and speed. I then turned it into a permenant spell, set in my skin, usable upon command. I can drain them, but not kill them. I can use the power I take from them, but I must do so before it bleeds away. One on one, it is a potent tool, but a frontal assault is still suicide.
urial angel of death

06-23-06, 10:56 PM		Volrath: Actually, Satnak, a lot of things can regenerate from single atoms. Me for instance and many of the wierder aberrations. Wait a second. Terrek, I could serve as an exellent distraction for your plan. They can't kill me unless they research my specific weakeness. Besides even if they did it would be impossibly far out of their reach. True I would be next to useless for a frontal assualt, because they could easily just tie me up, but if by the time they figure that out your plan should be complete, or atleast in position.
Gladius_Lucix

06-23-06, 11:53 PM		Oblivious to all the planning of a stealthy attack, Liam, Allen, and Ketler are sitting around a table in Liam's study.

Liam: I hoped for a higher turn out, but this will have to do. As you know, I'm on the Forgotten Freedom studying the effects it has on the fabric of reality as we know it. I have constructed a device that will detect how much reality in a given area.

He pulls out a small box with a gauge on it, among other wires, knobs, and antennae. The needle is hovering somewhere between a quarter and half way to maximum.

Liam: I've tested it, and it works rather well. It maxes out around Kanatash, with fuse blowing when he's together with Caralot. Most of the other people register around where I figured from my interviews. As I said in the memo, I'm ready to proceed to the third phase, but I think I'll probably need help. The final product will consist of two parts. The first converts the weirdness on the Forgotten Freedom into energy and transmits it to the second unit, which recieves it and converts it into something usable. Currently, I think a very useful output would be the Mi-Go Cannon. If you're up to helping, here are the schematics to the Weirdness Detector.

Ketler: So, if this works, the Mi-Go Cannon will be even more powerful?

Liam: In theory, yes. Once everything is working properly.

Ketler: Alright! Let's get to work!
Charles Phipps

06-24-06, 12:41 AM		*In the Demon Wastes*

Ariajni: It is time to begin undoing what we have suffered since the time of the Demon Wars. The Age of Man. Man is a blight on our perfect world. Elves, Giants, Goblins, these races are imperfect and foolish corruptions of our true demonic visage. Instead, we shall create a glorious new Empire without them. To do this we must prepare to bring about the end of the human beings by destroying them in the way that they believed we would be beaten down by.....and that requires sacrifice.

*thousands of demons gnash their teeth and snarl*

Ariajni: Then let us begin the dawn of a new Era!

*Many begin throwing themselves into a Demon Flame similiar to the Silver Flame as it starts growing with their souls as they are added to it. All of Eberron begins to shudder*

***

Jarlot: Time to get out Old Faithful....

*Jarlot goes to an old wooden chest and then opens it to reveal a Gunsword*

Jarlot: I haven't seen you in a while...
Crystalforged

06-24-06, 01:19 AM		Kanatash: Well Terrek, before Caralot left she took the first steps towards gaining some intel. She assembled a massive army of mutant pokemon and sent them out.

Terrek: What exactly are they going to do?

Kanatash: Well Caralot left them mostly to their own devices, just giving them some vague intructions. Those being, bring back any useful information you can, Kill anyone important looking if you think you can, and try and cause as much chaos as possible.

Terrek: Just how capable are these "pokemon"?

Kanatash: (shrugs) It varies greatly among them but some of them can be very stealthy while others are immensely powerful. Hard to say how much of an effect they will have since we know so little about our foe but there are plently of them and they are completely expendable, sort of like Crystal but not quite as annoying. Hopefully they can knock off a few of the important generals though...

Not very bright redshirt: Hey! Wait a second, I thought Rakasha came back to life if slain?!

Kanatash: (vaporizes the redshirt) Never interrupt an Uber while he's monolouging. Remember, other than the Rajas, which the pokemon won't stand a chance against anyway, slain Rakasha don't come back with the knowledge or the experience of the being it was before. So knocking off a few of the more important ones should soften them up.
cypher_zero

06-24-06, 01:43 AM		Terrek: Well, that's good and all, but I wish you hadn't killed that redshirt. I was going to eat him later...
.
rampant

06-24-06, 02:55 AM		Ketler - Thats what the machine in back is for, whenever someone offs a redshirt you take some remains, dump them in the box hit the button and viola. NJ26 made me restrict it to things under a certain power level, and it tends to do wierd things with Ubers, but its pretty accurate with redshirts. You don't think the Pholli's are really quite that lucky do you? I just do it to annoy Kithle. THough I admit they are pretty lucky, just not quite as lucky as kithle thinks. :D

Terrek - Yes but he vaporized it.

Ketler - Yeah so just hit the button twice when you grab your snack.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-24-06, 03:07 AM		OOC: So, what number clone of the pholli' twins are we on now? 50, 60 thousand?
rampant

06-24-06, 03:36 AM		OOC: Only 20 million, they are pretty lucky.
----------------
Terrek - Then why the second?

Ketler - So i don't have to keep cleaning up the mess when one blows himself up the other one takes care of it.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-24-06, 09:51 AM		Naz'roth tears a portal into Shavarath. before him stands all the Devil forces upon that plane. he raises a guantleted hand towards the sky.

Naz'roth: My bretherin! on the material plane one of the creatures of chaos is attempting to overthrow mankind. we cannot let this stand! there has to be balance, if chaos takes over the material plane then there will be no stopping the march of their armies against us. we are the true evil! we are the future! let us not be overthrown by a bunch of infightning inbred demon scum! who's with your anchient master?

* a huge Diabolical roar fills the sky's, the devils raise their hands into the sky screaming forth a name*
Devils: NAZ'ROTH! NAZ'ROTH! NAZ'ROTH!

Naz'roth: *sending a telepathic link to Terrek* here is your Distraction .

***
Sa'vor and Feal-Thas stand on a balcony overlooking the troops below, who are already amassing for war against the Rajahs.

Feal-Thas: father, will you leave me in control of the armies while you go with the other crew members?

Sa'vor: No-

Feal-Thas: but father i've proven myself a thousand- (sa'vor cuts him off)

Sa'vor: you will go with the other ubers. your place is with them, they need you. your a brilliant warrior but your not a suberb tactician. they need your fighting skills more than they need mine. my place his here, i will lead your brothers and sisters to war once more. now excuse me..

Sa'vor steps up to the balcony. the Half-dragons raise a thuderous Cheer.

Sa'vor: my children! you where brought into this world for war, and you have shed blood for me, you have died for me. you have faught with all your strength for me. now you do not fight for me, but for the people of the material plane. for the family that you belong to. for the memory of those that have fallen. FOR OUR ANCESTORS!! *raises his mind blade wich has now taken the form of a scythe*

The war cry raised to the sky's as the voices of the Half-dragons added to the couros. the below of pureblooded dragons was added as well (sa'vor created these recently as mounts for the leaders). thousands of golems raised their fists to the sky, these where followed by the weapons of the children.
cypher_zero

06-24-06, 10:08 AM		Terrek: Good. Things are coming along nicely. Once the poke-thingies return with the intel we’ll be able to strategically place the devils and half-dragons. They should be able to cause enough of a “destraction;” I like that, it’s like combining destruction and distraction into one word; that we’ll be able to kill off a number of the important ones before they can adequately defend themselves. Oh, and that reminds me Kanatash, the Rakshasa need their souls intact to be reborn. Anything I kill stays dead, so it should be less of a problem than you thought. For the rest of you that don’t have the ability to eat souls, use these crystals. Just shove them into the mouths of the Rakasha as they die and their souls will be trapped. Bring them to me afterwards and I’ll make sure the creatures never walk this plane again.
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Lord Kale Fangblade

06-24-06, 10:17 AM		Sa'vor steps over to a ring of black metal before him. a Planar gate, he sighed, it was time to call in some favors. in a glass case next to the Portal lay an magical Staff. It was constructed from Adamantine, weaved with platinum and set with Mabran runes. on the top of it was a large Ruby, within it was a core of each of the three types or dragon shards weaved around each other. a pair of runes was engraved on the Ruby,these where in Darkspeech.They where the Blood and Dark runes, these runes where mirrored on the other side by Mabran runes. Sa'vor opened the case, he placed his hand on the staff. he felt its power flow once more. he shuddered, he only dared use it in difficult times, for its power was great. it only obeyed him. he was bound to it by blood. if the other ubers found out about this staff there would be trouble to pay.

The Staff: it's been a long time old friend. you have need of me once more?

Sa'vor: it has, of course it has Soulharrow .but now we need you once more, we are to fight against the lords of dust. do your renember what they did to you?

Soulharrow: of course i do! those scum! they stole me from my master, Naz'roth, they stole most of my power. they where the ones that hurled me into the shadow realms! Naz'roth and you found me, and reformed me. now i serve you once more.

Naz'roth had told Sa'vor upon giving him the staff as he whent into the underworld.
" Soulharrow was my greatest creation. i have created a new staff to serve me, and i shall give you this one as a gift for your travels. may it serve you as it did me"

Sa'vor commanded Soulharrow into his hand. the ruby glowed slightly at his touch. Sa'vor raised the staff towards the portal and spoke out a long incantaion in Darkspeech. the portal opened, before them a world of fire flared and from it a being completly formed of living flames stepped forwards.

Ashdancer: Ssssa'vor, you have come to claim your repayment?

Sa'vor: yes friend. Gather your brethrin. soon i shall need your powers. be ready.

Ashdancer: of courssse

Sa'vor closed the portal and began to work his way through all his old planar ally's calling in old favors and pacts. soon he'd gathered all the the aid he required except one, soon he'd have to visit an old realative...
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-24-06, 10:58 AM		Bunny: Dead rakshasas. Sweet.:devil:

Silver: :zzz:

13: I thought you said you didn't like big battles.

Bunny: :confused: Did I say that?

13: Maybe not. It gets so hard to remember after a while.

Bunny: Anyway, rakshasas don't die every day. I'll get to study the process in great detail.

13: And since we're Non-existant and random, we won't be helping.

Bunny: Hey, you didn't even say it like it was a bad thing. :D

13: I can't be ignorant forever. (looks over at the sleeping Silver) By the way, what's Miss God doing?

Bunny: :P Death annoys her. She's off with Caralot and Saberiel in Caralot's dimension.

13: With what you've told me about Word Being, I wonder if it'll join in?

Bunny: Not unless someone asks for super-smart arcane trickster minotaurs. Emphasis on ask.

13: Hmm. I know what happens when one gets involved without thinking it through.

Bunny: Besides, it said that if the FF fails than Erk's Place could become a safe-haven for those fleeing this dimension. There has to be someone left behind who knows about trickery.

13: I heard Roosevelt is leading the Soul Snuggles. Hey…wait…

Bunny: That tone of voice. :eek: I know it well.

13: What ever happened to the chibi wand?

Bunny: That…is an evil thought. :devil:
rampant

06-24-06, 11:22 AM		Deep in the darkest pits of the FF the Squirrels begin their dread work, the forges cast their flame into the sky, the hammers ring their song of creation, and the bright pink wands are distributed to every unit. (insert evil laugh)
Kaizer_Ryu

06-24-06, 11:45 AM		13: What ever happened to the chibi wand?

Bunny: That…is an evil thought. :devil: OOC: Ooooooooooo!!!! That's perfect! I can't believe I forgot about that! Chibi Rakshasa's...that is evil beyond words.

IC:

Terra flips the original Chibi Wand in her fingers.

Terra: I wonder...

Lisa: What?

Terra: It didn't work on Beryl, but I'm pretty sure she was a special case. Regardless, we'll have to be cautious with this as well. ...what's wrong?

Lisa: I'm...not sure how much good I'll be in this one. I've never been much on stealth. I'm most at home on the battle field.

Terra: You worship one of their greatest enemies. I'd say you and Sakura will be of great help. Just...stay with me, ok?

Lisa: You heard what Lady said too, huh? I will. But remember. As much as you watch my back, let me watch yours, ok?

Terra: *smiles* Ok.

OOC: Question. Is Tony the Tiger a good guy or bad guy? He's a rakshasa, but he seems to be on our side. Jarlot called Ariajni that, but was that just making fun of him, and not mean't to identify Tony as a spy? Because, if he's on our side, we could always use his help...
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-24-06, 11:51 AM		OOC: Ooooooooooo!!!! That's perfect! I can't believe I forgot about that! Chibi Rakshasa's...that is evil beyond words.
OOCat: I am the god of EVIL!

Bunny: You got lucky.

OOCat: I'm doin' my happy dance. :dancin:

Bunny: Let me just tell all you out there reading: it's scary.
OOC: Question. Is Tony the Tiger a good guy or bad guy? He's a rakshasa, but he seems to be on our side. Jarlot called Ariajni that, but was that just making fun of him, and not mean't to identify Tony as a spy? Because, if he's on our side, we could always use his help...
OOC: I sent a PM to Charles. He says it was just an insult.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-24-06, 12:37 PM		OOC: I sent a PM to Charles. He says it was just an insult.OOC: :w00t: ness!

IC:

Tony: THAT'S A GRRRRRREAT IDEA!

Terra: You sure? Ok, then...

*KAZAP*

Tony: PRRROW?

Tony now looks like a cub.

Lisa: Can you change back? Alter your form into anything useful, or anything like that?

Tony tries for a moment, then shakes his head.

Terra: Well, at least we know it has effect on your type. Thanks. I'm still concerned about the Sorcerors and their leader, though. But, from what I can tell, it should have effect on most of their other minions as well. Perhaps the Captain's Monster Manual's could be of help.

*KAZAP*

Tony is now normal again.

Tony: I'M GRRRRREAT!

Lisa: You like those things, don't you?

Terra: They're oddly accurate on enemies that aren't NPC's. We'll have to research possible templates that could be used to augment their forces.

Lisa: Uh-oh. Now you're starting to sound like Captain Jarlot...

Terra: :D

Lisa: Hopefully Caralot's creatures can tell us what this...ominous feeling is. They're up to something big, and I don't think we'll like it.

Terra: My sources tell of a pillar of flame in the Demon Wastes. They can't get close enough to find out what they're doing, though.

OOC: I'm going off the assumption that Tony is one of the Zakya Rakshasa's. I haven't seen anything to indicate he's a Sorceror.
luna18moon

06-24-06, 01:16 PM		This thread rocks! I'm glad people started writing stories about the crew that was the focus of the rules. You guys have created a wonderful story.
I wanted to add my own character, but I don't think I should during this story arc. Unless you want a teenage tibbit named Slaypaw among the crew? :evillaugh
luna18moon

06-24-06, 01:17 PM		Is this what double post is? I'm new to the forums... :(
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-24-06, 02:04 PM		Feal-Thas appears on deck fully geared up. he wears a suit of armour like Sa'vors, the gem instead is black. Feal-Thas's cloak is like the nightitself. apon his head is a hood of similar. like Sa'vor and Naz'roth a torque about his neck blazes with magical energy. on his back is an equisite bow, crafted from Dragonbone and strenghtened with Darkwood and adamantine. A quiver of infinite arrows is strapped to his back as well. His primary weapon though is a Valenar double bladed Scimitar, the blade's are forged from the same material as his armour, a powerful alloy of many different metals. at his waist is a belt to which is strapped many pouches of holding. four magical rings glow on his fingers, each section of his armour is bound with different enchantments.

Sa'vor appears next to him, in full battle armour, his hood down aswell. His gauntlets flex as he creates several different mindblades. the Kama's, The Scythe, The Valenar Doublebladed scimitar and a Lance. upon his back is placed a bow similar to Feal-Thas's except that silver runes are traced across it. in his left hand Sa'vor carries the Staff known as Soulharrow. the pure dark power that comes from it makes Feal-Thas shudder. upon Sa'vors head is just visible to be a circlet of Platinum, runes flow across it and psionic power pulses vaugely. Sa'vor also wears four well crafted magical rings. each with a diffrent precious stone in ( one ruby, one emerald, one Sapphire one diamond)

Tara now wears a new robe. one as black as Sa'vors armour, with Platinum tracery across the edges, a huge magical aura surrounds the robe and cloak, showing it to be one of Naz'roths works. upon her head his a Circlet of crystal, with in the centre a small skull of the same material. it irradiates necromantic power. on her hands are four magical rings, each with a black crystal in. at her side, a belt with pouches of holding and a spell component pouch. Tara also possesses many other magical items that Feal-Thas couldnot detect beneath the power irradiated by the robes.

Naz'roth now appeared, of all the magical aura's his was the biggest. his attire was like Sa'vors and his, but isntead of a circlet of platinum his was one of adamantine. red runes burned on it with an unholy light, his four rings where crowned with emeralds. the staff in his hands was alike Sa'vors except its aura was far greater, and that there was an emrald rather than a ruby. Naz'roth held the Staff in his right hand and his shield in his left, even one handed the Staff seemed to irradiate pure deadly might. Feal-Thas could imagine that it would have had many powerful enchantments laid upon it.

Sa'vor: well... this is it. we four may not meet again, so i would just like to say.. Thank you. for everything. Naz'roth, you guided me through the most terrible parts of my life, you made me the man i am today. much of my skill came from you. much of my knowledge did was well, Tara, i thank you for everything you did to help me in my childhood. and for bringing me back from being Good and forgetting myself. Feal-Thas, i whant to thank you for what you've done in your short life. you've become more than a creation or a warrior. you've become your own person, you are my son, and i will always be proud of you.

Naz'roth: *smiles* well, if it wasnt for you Sa'vor i wouldnt be free. i would have never met Tara. who's taught me that i dont need to rule the world any more. she taught me that i should just live my life. i am now somthing more than a tyrant or a daemon, i have become a person in my own right. not some pawn of the prohecy or Kyber. Feal-Thas, even though you dont fight on the battle field your job is perhaps the most important. you are perhaps one of my greatest students to date. perhaps even greater than your father.

Tara: i couldnt say anything more than the others have already said. just Thank you all.

Feal-Thas: i wont let any of you down. i promise.

Naz'roth: renember all we have taught you and you'll never fail.

they watched the sun began to lower in the sky, they could see the pillar of fire coming from the Demon wastes. they each began to prepare themselves mentaly and physicaly for their tasks. soon would come an enemy greater than any of them. they could just hope that they and the others where ready.
cypher_zero

06-24-06, 03:29 PM		OOC: Ok. Here’s how I’m thinking we should do this. First off, we’ll need the poke-things to come back and deliver the intel, that’s up to whoever made Caralot (I’m thinking that we should post who made which characters in the Wiki. It might help sometimes to know who made who.). Then I’ll have Terrek lay down the final battle plans. I’ve already got in mind what I’m going to do with that, but I want the intel first. After that I think the entire thing should be done as a collaboration of posts with each person taking their own characters and their action in the greater combat and posting. Naturally the final battle with the demi-god will contain most of the Ubers (and Terrek will be d*mned if he doesn’t get to eat the demi’s soul) with Jarlot in there somewhere, probably striking the final blow. I’d like to sum this up BEFORE next Friday if at all possible (I’m going on vacation; not sure if I’ll have internet or not.).

Since I thought it might be pertinent to the battle, I’m going to post what Terrek’s gifts to Lisa and Terra actually do.

Lisa’s: The small bit of silver flame was actually a fire elemental graft with some additional properties.:

All the benefits of an Incendiary Skin graft.
Can have it’s additional properties activated at will
When activated, will encompass Lisa’s body in holy fire, dealing 10d6 to any creature that grapples her, or hits her in melee combat (except with reach weapons).
When activated, creates an aura of fear around her for 10 feet (DC 10+HD+Cha, only affects evil creatures)
When activated, makes any weapon wielded by her into a Holy Axiomatic Flaming Burst weapon
When activated, triples her cha bonus for smite damage
1/day – Smite deals automatic critical damage and allows the smite damage to be multiplied as well
When activated, grants damage reduction 10/chaotic and evil
Prevents Lisa from attacking Terrek directly as well as preventing any and all of the graft’s abilities from affecting him. Also instills a charm spell whenever Terrek speaks to her. These final abilities are hidden from any and all attempts to discern them, though they may be discovered in due time as Lisa interacts with Terrek.

Terra’s: The earthen satchel contained a sentient vine whip. If functions exactly as a tentacle whip except that it has a reach of 20 feet and also has additional abilities:

Gains HD as a familiar and familiar special abilities as well as a psycrystal
Can channel Terra’s mindblade
Increases all of her class levels by one
Counts as a +6 defending spellstoring weapon, in addition to the mindblade abilities
Counts as mindblade for the purpose of feats
Prevents Terra from attacking Terrek directly as well as preventing any and all of the graft’s abilities from affecting him. Also instills a charm spell whenever Terrek speaks to her. These final abilities are hidden from any and all attempts to discern them, though they may be discovered in due time as Terra interacts with Terrek.

*NOTE* this is playing to Terrek’s character. He never does anything without it having some kind of benefit for him. He’s also made darn sure that they won’t be able to figure out that the gifts are also a ploy to keep them from attempting to kill him.

That's all I got for now. Will post more later.
.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-24-06, 03:58 PM		*looks at the gifts abilities* Holy. Crap. Though I must say, both of them have an awesome Will save from their levels as well as their magical items. I'm playing Lisa as roughly a level 20 Paladin. I'll upgrade her stats eventually.

I still want to know what Naz'roth's gems do, too.

Oh! And SilvercatMoonpaw still needs do do his gifts. I'm all excited to see what kind of randomness he can achieve. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-24-06, 04:40 PM		Oh! And SilvercatMoonpaw still needs do do his gifts. I'm all excited.
OOC: Sorry. If I do them now they won't have as much impact.

IC: 13: Whoa, check Sa'vor's tricked-out crew!

Bunny: Yeah. Too "bling-bling" for me. I like, halfway through it and :zzz:. No offense, it's just……we've all seen it before. Ah, now that (points to Lady coming out on deck) is what I call battle attire.

LAdy has on her purple beret, but now also sports a poka-dot bowtie, a ruffled lacy shirt, a big rain jacket, bell-bottoms, and no shoes. She strikes a pose, and puts on some huge horn-rimmed glasses.

Everyone: :blink:

Lady: This is the traditional battle attire of the Masters of the Funny Hat. It is designed to strike fear into our enemies souls.

Tara: :uh-huh: It's certainly doing that for me.

Sa'vor: By my elven and dragon ancestors, I've never seen anything so hideous.

Jaela Jarlot comes up on deck. She takes one look at Lady, then whips a camera out of nowhere and snaps a photo.

Sa'vor: I thought the captain forbid you from wearing the batsuit?

JJ: We may all die. You think I care?

Naz'roth: I see you dropped the muscle suit.

JJ: Yeah, well, let me tell you, I'm not looking forward to seeing Ketler.
******
13 appears next to Lisa.

13: Special delivery, one freakin huge vial of liquid joy. May be used as an optional component in spells with the Good descriptor.

Terra: Damn, where'd you get that much?

13: Let's just say Marish wanted to do her part.
rampant

06-24-06, 06:12 PM		Satnak - Where did my ******* dragon get to? go find it fluffy.

Fluffy - Meow
urial angel of death

06-24-06, 06:36 PM		OOC: I apologize in advance for any spelling mistakes. This computer sucks.

Volrath rides onto the deck atop a throne of bones. The battle-standard hanging from it depicts a gignatic skull spitting forth hordes of horrific creature that have no place in the natural world. The throne is carried by four enormass umberhulks. They are clad head to toe in mythril armor. Despite clearly being mythril the armor does no shine in the morning sun. In fact it almost seems to be absorbing the light from around it.
Volrath himself has replaced his lowwer body with four crab-like legs. Gripped tightly in his left hand is a scepter made of still moving humaniod tongue. In his right is a sword hilt connected to a length of ribbon that drips with a strange sticky substance. A tentacle whip hangs limply from his forearm.On his head is crown made from pertified tentacles. The rest of his body is left realatively free of magical equipment.
Terra: Where is your army?
Volrath: P/Y/R is giving them an inspirational speech.
***
Below decks P/Y/R is on a stage infront of numerous aberrations and demons. Behind her is a battlestandard similar to the one on Volrath's throne, but blown up in size so that it fills the audience's entire view. She is dressed in the attire of an American World War 2 general.
P/Y/R:You are not all going to die...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-24-06, 06:48 PM		She is dressed in the attire of an American World War 2 general.
P/Y/R:You are not all going to die...OOC: :rofl:
Question: Does she have the cigar as well?
urial angel of death

06-24-06, 08:01 PM		what general is complete without one?
Crystalforged

06-24-06, 10:14 PM		OOC: Ooooooooooo!!!! That's perfect! I can't believe I forgot about that! Chibi Rakshasa's...that is evil beyond words.
OOC: Sorry for this being a bit behind the times here, I was pretty busy today but I just had to say something about this. I'll agree that Chibifying the Rakasha is very evil, but I I thought of somethng to top it. Kanatash is going to be going around the battle field with round, white and red Kyber shards binding the chibified Rakasha. They will later be taken to the pokemon dimension. Gotta catch 'em all... :devil:



IC: Some of the pokemon army has finally returned to report to Kanatash. Most of them however are still out causing as much trouble as they can for the lords of dust. Most the the crew has gathered and the intel has been distributed. The plan is just now being finallized.

Terrek: ...and that should be it. That's the plan people. Now just pray to whatever gods you might believe in that it works.

Kanatash: :lightbulb Actually, a brand new, even better plan has just occured to me...

Terrek: We're listening.

Kanatash: (in a french accent) We shall taunt them viscously! Then taunt them again if they come back!

Crew: :uh-huh:

---

An undiscloed location

Ariajni: (reclining in a chair) I wonder what those silly pirates are up to, no doubt planning some pathetic attempt at revenge.

Kanatash: (floating out of the floor) Actually the planning stage has already been completed.

Ariajni: (not even bothering to stand) Hmph, not bad you're managed to enter my inner chambers. You do however realize that you are no match for me, do you not?

Kanatash: I am not here to battle, merely to congratulate you.

Ariajni: (raising an eyebrow) To congratulate me?

Kanatash: That's right a**-tard, to congratulate you on being the the first person in quite a while to completely **** off the entire crew of the forgotten freedom. The last guy who managed that go his *** wooped so completely that he was completely erased from the timestream.

Ariajni: Is that so? If he was completely erased from the time stream, how do you still know he existed?

Kanatash: (shrugs) I'm completely insane. Knowing things I could not possibly know come with the territory.

Ariajni: Indeed. Now, begone from my sight mad thing. (waves his hand and Kanatash is teleported to some random point in the multi-universe) Fool, you're coming has allowed me to steal from you very mind all of the "plans" you silly pirates have made. Your downfall will be that much more complete for it.

---

Back at the ship, Kanatash has just returned.

Terrek: Did it work?

Kanatash: Hook, line, and sinker. He entered my mind as soon as I arrived and stole those false plans we cooked up without even double checking to see if we were trying to trick him. Arrogant bastard.

Terra: I'm still surprised you restrained yourself when he entered you mind and didn't even try to screw with him.

Kanatash: Well if I broke him, mind you I'm not sure I could, it would have hurt the plan. Oh and who says I didn't screw with his head when he entered my mind. I was just more suble than usual. Trust me, even if we don't kill him he's still going to be scared for life from what I did. :devil:

---

Later that night as Ariajni rests...

Very young Ariajni: Daddy, what are you doing...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-24-06, 11:16 PM		Later that night as Ariajni rests...

Very young Ariajni: Daddy, what are you doing...
I almost felt sorry for him when I read that, then I remembered that he killed Aerith. Bastard deserves much worse than this. Too bad we can't Knights of the Round his ass. Though, that would be too quick a death...
rampant

06-24-06, 11:16 PM		Satnak - Hey Lisa don't forget that sword of yours is the bound soul of suthek I would bet gold to gravy that has a nasty side effect on Raksasha. Now where is that damned dragon of mine?

Fluffy - Meow

Satnak - Ah there you are where is it?

Fluffy - Meow

Satnak - Which one of you bastards got my ride drunk?
Kaizer_Ryu

06-24-06, 11:32 PM		Terra: Say, has anyone considered asking the Ghaash'kala for help?

Lisa: Would they? I mean, we have a Daemon Lord, a Rakshasa, and a Daelkyr half-blood among our ranks, just to name a few.

Terra: True, but they may know what these bastards are up to. It's got to concern them as well. Enemy of my enemy is my friend kind of thing. Besides, you and they worship the same thing.

Lisa: In different ways. I really don't know how they'd react.

Terra: It's at least worth a shot.
rampant

06-25-06, 01:49 AM		Chalky - We could always use some snacks. :D

Lisa - What are you ... oh dear!

Giant Horrid Wolf - VRAKAR!!!

Chalky - Gotta love having a moonspeaker for a sister. :D

Geset - Chalky stop using my wolf to scare the Paladin, and would it kill you to write home once in a while? :mad:

Chalky - I knew there was a reason I left home. :(

Geset - Grandpa has been worried sick, he's chewed right through a whole worry log. Grandma is on the warpath, she threw a mounted paladin clear through his troopers just for saying you were a lousy pirate. Host help the poor sap who speaks ill of your murals.

Chalky - Serves him right I'm an excellent pirate. And I thought she hated my murals.

Geset - She hates it when you use the council caverns for murals, or steal the last of the paper, or take out of season fruits for your dyes, or tye-dye your cousin.

Chalky - He broke my paintbrush, it took me six hours to make that.

Geset - It wouldn't haven taken as long if you hadn't used MY fur.

Chalky - You were the only one around with fur that fine.

Geset - What about the rabbits.

Chalky - Who ever heard of a white paintbrush?

Geset - It would have matched your eyes.

Chalky - You want your wolf to wake up Yellow?
cypher_zero

06-25-06, 02:14 AM		*looks at the gifts abilities* Holy. Crap. Though I must say, both of them have an awesome Will save from their levels as well as their magical items. I'm playing Lisa as roughly a level 20 Paladin. I'll upgrade her stats eventually.

OOC: Well, as far as resisting the hidden effects of the items go, I would hope that they won’t come into play too often, but Terrek likes to have a plan just in case. The other thing that I might mention is that Terrek would have taken insanely high will saves into account. He’s been studying the ship for years and hasn’t missed much. The charm’s for instance would have a dc of about 34 and should work at least half the time, even on Terra. Also, Terrek likes to be as subtle as possible, so the items wouldn’t outright stop them from attacking him, but rather just remind them of something much more urgent that needs their attention, or make them think he’s not even there, or that he’s someone else, etc. Like I said, I hope it won’t come into play too often, if at all, but I had to include that last little bit to stay true to his character.

IC:
(All the pertinent crew are gathered in the war room [of course they’d have a war room, duh!] to go over the final plans.)

Terrek: Ok, given what intel I’ve received from Kanatash here’s what we’ve got. True to the crew’s typical form, they’re expecting a massive frontal assault at their main enterance – here (points to map), which is exactly what they got from Kanatash’s mind when he showed up there to relay the false info. Now, I want to really make it look like that’s what we’re doing so we’re going to send every non-uber caster down there with whatever army then can summon or create or whatever. This means all the zombies and skeletons in storage and basically anything else that’s expendable. Those of you that for one reason or another can’t create or summon an army will be down there with every illusion spell you can whip up making the army look even bigger than it actually is. I’ll also be sending in my small army of wraiths.

OOC: For those of you that don’t know, when a Souleater devours someone’s soul, they rise as a wraith under his control.

IC:
Terrek: (con’t) I also want a few of the Ubers down there laying waste to their hordes; specifically Sa’vor, Feal-Thas, Tara and Naz'roth with your respective armies. Be prepared to get your buts out of there at a moment’s notice; (stares right at Sa’vor) you’re all too important to die. And only engage the weaker foes, we’ll need you for the final battle with Ariajni if something goes wrong. If that happens, I’ll send you all a telepathic signal to ‘port in fight and him as best we can.

Down there, we’ll line up like it’s really a war we’re about to fight, but here’s where the real battle will be fought (points to map). Now, I want someone cloaking this section of the battle field from anything; scrying, divination crap, etc. h*ll, cloak if from plain sight if you can. That’s where their generals will be placed. We’re going in with a small strike team to take down as many of the more powerful ones as we can. Don’t forget to use those soul-trapping gems I gave you. They’re essential to making sure the Rakashasa don’t keep coming back to life. Now, I’ve already sent Tony the Tiger in to infiltrate their ranks and he’ll be back there as close to whoever’s running the battle as possible to strike against them when we make our move.

While the rest of you are either in battle or assassinating the generals, a small team of us are going to go after Ariajni himself. That’ll be Terra, Lisa, Jarlot, Satnak and I. He’s so d**n arrogant that he won’t even be present at the battle, just scrying on it; that’s what we need the cloak for. Lisa, you’re going to be in your element here. I want a full frontal attack from you; use that new insane smite I gave you on him. Terra, you’re ‘porting her in and backing her up. Blast the h*ll out of him with spells and use that vine. Satnak, I want you in there doing what you do best. Flank him in melee with Lisa if possible. While he’s disoriented from being attacked from three different directions at once and he figures out his generals are all dying, I’m going to ‘port in behind him and grapple. I’m going to drain him as much as I can and set you up (looks at Jarlot). Jarlot, you take that shot. That’s the finishing blow right there. It’s your only shot at revenge and we’re setting up this whole thing to give you that one shot. You make that shot and it will kill him. I’ve made this sword special for you. (Hands Jarlot Godbreaker; see below) It’s only got enough for one blow, but that’ll be all you need if we do this right. Try not to hit me when you kill him though. After Jarlot’s made his hit, then I’ll devour his soul and Satnak you obliterate his body; this f**ker is going to stay dead.

A few more things: This is the big one. I expect a few casualties on our side but this is a battle worth fighting. If it all goes to s**t then we mass teleport everybody out and regroup. Sa’vor, I want you specifically to stay out of direct combat. When I make my move to grapple Ariajni so Jarlot can get his shot, I’m going to need all of my power and yours. Protect yourself out there. That goes for the rest of you as well. I don’t want to see anybody else killed. For the rest of you that haven’t been specifically assigned a part, figure out where you best fit in and get with whoever’s leading that particular section of the battle on the details. If you have any other questions, come see me.

OOC:
Godbreaker:
Godbreaker is a modified adamantine greatsword designed to shatter into splinters when it hits causing it to do 5d6 piercing damage. It has a +6 enhancement bonus and has the following special enchantments: flaming/icy/sonic burst, holy, keen, outsider bane and ghost touch. The sword was created of one purpose: to kill Ariajni and will be destroyed after striking him.
.
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-25-06, 07:41 AM		Naz'roth raises a gauntleted hand towards the sky, black clouds begin to form around the forgotten freedom. instantly they begin to spread outwards. the winds itself reaches a power that tears tree's from the ground. from the thunder crackles every so often, showing the high magical charges that lay within. Naz'roth let his mind reach out to Ariajni's mind.

Naz'roth: all right you jumped up little cub. if you wish to see what true power is then watch very closely. for today a Daemon lord of eons past walks the earth once more. the seas will burn, the sky will be as blood. the very ground will turn to dust. and the shattered corpses of your legions shall be the feast of the carrion. and at my feet your tourtured and twisted body will beg forgiveness from your liege lord.

Naz'roth cut off any replies and built a magical field around the forgotten freedom. it was invisible to all eyes, and couldnot be detected by any means.

Naz'roth: now for a little illusion.

Naz'roth spoke out two words in the dread language. and in the sky twelve forgotten freedoms formed each heading for different locations. on these Naz'roth faked the magical signatures of each crew member, as well as making them completely corporeal. Naz'roth then made a gesture that seemed as if he was pulling the very ground apart. and the grounds around the demon wastes did tremble. huge rents appeared in the earth itself and magma spilled up with noxious gases. from these rents Naz'roths old army appeared. the millions of Devils and Demons encased in blackarmour. the twisted undead with weapons afire in a goulish light.
Naz'roth: *to himself* you may be of god born. but i am the ancheint master of this land. it obeys ME. not some young upstart.
( in his thoughts)
Naz'roth: i hope that got his attention. if not then im going to have to show off a bit more....
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-25-06, 08:06 AM		13: Now all this is just a distraction?

Bunny: I think so.

13: Good. Nice monologue on Naz'roth's part.

Bunny: Igor must be pleased.

13: I wonder if Ariajni can really be fooled that easily.

Bunny: Depends. If he's a cliché villain, than he's overconfident. If he's not, we're all screwed.
rampant

06-25-06, 10:59 AM		From Behind One of the false Forgotten Freedoms, Satnaks Dragon Bursts forth to lead the charge.

Satnak - HOws that for a distraction?

-------------------
OOC: No shees not with the dragon she just sent it out because its big and shiny.
cypher_zero

06-25-06, 10:39 PM		OOC: Umm... Is everybody waiting for me to start this thing? 'Cause I was waitin' for somebody else to post first...
.
rampant

06-25-06, 10:42 PM		OOC : Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo...

----------------------------

Kanatash - WHERE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD?!?
Kaizer_Ryu

06-25-06, 11:34 PM		Terra: Is this what you mean when you say that the world is "paused"?

Ketler: Yeah. I think the Entities are busy or something.

Lisa: What should we do while we wait?

Kanatash: Let's play Monopoly!

Terra: *a look of abject horror on her face* That is the single most evil and awful thing you have ever suggested.

Kanatash: :D
Crystalforged

06-26-06, 12:19 AM		As the bizzare "pause" continues most of the crew mills around the war room.

Kanatash: (reclining in a chair, seeming lost in thought) Ah, things have been quiet around here for quite a while now. I was almost starting to worry I wouldn't get a chance to use my new toy...

Terrek: What would that be?

Kanatash: (sitting up) Hm, what was that? Oh yes, THIS.

He pulls out a vaguely gun shaped device that is covered with seemingly random protrushions, depressions, spokes, and deposites of crystal and other exotic materials.

Terrek: And what in Kyber would THAT be?

Kanatash: (chuckles) Oh, just something I cooked up in my spare time. It's constructed from a minature Mi-go cannon, other miscelaneous Mi-go devices, a chibi wand, an anti-chibi wand, one Syberies dragonshard attuned to each dragonmark (including the mark of death), one Eberron dragonshard attuned to each of the 13 planes, a whole bunch of Kyber dragonshards, a piece from a C-tan, plenty of other things I don't feel like listing, and the whole kitten-caboodle is powered by a prototype of the "madness engine" Liam is constructing that's designed to harness the power of the innate aura of mandess that surrounds me.

Terrek: Hm, I never pegged you as the artificer type.

Kanatash: Oh, I'm not. I just plane shifted in the Macgyver alt-Jarlot to assemble all the components.

Satnak: KANATASH! What did I tell you about bringing in new Alternates.

Kanatash: Calm down, when he was done I sent him to "play" with Caralot's Pokemon.

Pika-man: BUUUURRRPPP!

Satnak: Well all right then. (goes back to what she was doing)

Terrek: Out of curiosity, does this monstrosity have a name?

Kanatash: I believe Kelter coined the term, "Magnus .45 Special," and I don't have anything better at the moment.

Terrek: Big name, so what will that thing actually DO?

Kanatash: (shrugs nonchalantly as a grin spreads from ear to ear) I haven't the slightest clue, but it's sure to be impressive as all hell.
rampant

06-26-06, 12:35 AM		Kithle - It's a bit cliche, but i still like paper cuts of death. Brandishes Deathpaper

Deathpaper - :D

Kanatash - Would you please point that some where else.

Volrath - Not at ME!! Get it away, get it away.
Crystalforged

06-26-06, 12:51 AM		Kanatash: Yeah, it is pretty cliche, but things are cliche because they get used a lot. If it gets used a lot that probably means it's effective. Either way I was bored and I needed something to do. Not to mentiom I've always been curious what simultaneous application of the Chibi and anti-chibi wands will do. :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-26-06, 06:56 AM		Kanatash - WHERE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD?!?
OOC: :rofl: :bow:
IC: Bunny (football commentator voice): Well, over-the-top-violencefans, it appears we have a delay in the game.

13 (other football commentator voice): That's right, Bob. Apparently the Entities from Beyond Non-existance are still finilizing the details of the match.

Bunny: I don't get it, Ted. It's not like they need to wait for the referees. This is a battle, not a football game.

13: Maybe the other side hasn't been assembled yet.

Bunny: Possible, Ted, possible. Perhaps fearless-leader Ariajni has some new plans up his sleeve.

13: Well, Bob, he's 0-1 after that business with the Couatls. It's amazing that they brought him out of retirement.

Bunny: He's not known as The Vacuum Clogger for nothing. But now, a word from our sponser.

"Talking Frog Beer.
'The beer that makes you croak!'"
cypher_zero

06-26-06, 08:44 AM		OOC: Alright, took me a bit to get the creative juices flowing, but I think that I’ve got an idea that will do this battle justice. I’m going to try and do it in one post; it’ll be up either today or tomorrow.
.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-26-06, 10:27 PM		As they wait for final preparations, Terra and Lisa practice with their new gifts within their pocket dimension.

Lisa: *currently flaming* I don't think I'll ever get used to this...

Terra: It takes a while. I've had mine for nearly half a century, so it doesn't bug me as much anymore. It gave me the willies the first few times I used it.

Lisa: It seems the aura of fear effect doesn't effect my allies. That's good news.

Terra: Indeed. We'll be in relatively close quarters, and we'll need every edge we can get with that sword around.

Lisa: Any ideas on how to deal with it? I mean, it's not like we can take a hit from a Soul Stealer and bounce back...

Terra: I do. Check this out.

After a short pause, Terra makes a few gestures as the shadows surround her.

Terra: *Art of the Shadow Doppleganger* (OOC: I couldn't resist :D )

Several exact copies of herself appear around her, moving independantly of the original.

Lisa: Wow! That's impressive. But how will that help us?

Terra: One more thing...

The copies morph into several different forms. Two remain as Terra, but in place of the others stand exact duplicates of Lisa, Jarlot, Satnak, and Terrek.

Lisa: Polymorph?

Shadow Terrek: No, just manipulating the form.

Shadow Lisa: It's non-magical at it's heart, and the rest of the illusion gives off about as much magical energy as any of us do, so it's that much harder to detect.

Shadow Satnak: Plus, it's relatively easy to switch out the shadow double and the real one.

Terra dispels the doubles and continues.

Terra: If I can get him to pull out the sword going for the decoys, we have a better chance of walking away from this alive.

OOC: Please use this, cypher. I think it fits well. The plan within the plan, so to speak. Ariajni has to have planned for an assasination strike, no matter how remote the possibility. He is leader of the Lords of Dust.
rampant

06-27-06, 01:24 AM		Kithle - Ok people Wards here, Get your wards. I got just about every anti-Raksasha trick i could think of bound into these, non-detection, mind-blank, magic circles, death wards, the works.

Satnak - How did you get so many so quick?

Kithle - I designed them when tony came on board, as to the labor i sub-contracted to a big guy in red who charged in cookies milk and good deeds.
Crystalforged

06-27-06, 01:40 AM		Kanatash: Cookies and good deeds? What the heck did you pay him with then? Oh, and out of curiousity did anyone remember to stock up on blessed crossbow bolts?
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-27-06, 06:52 AM		Kanatash: Cookies and good deeds? What the heck did you pay him with then? Oh, and out of curiousity did anyone remember to stock up on blessed crossbow bolts?
Lady: I have something even better.

She reaches into her coat pockets, and proceeds to unload a variety of handguns. And we're not talking about black-powder neither. Semi-automatic.

Jarlot: Damn, girl, where'd you get those?

Lady: I don't come from just a few years in the future, I come from far enough that someone finally got around to making gunpowder. And because we live in a society with magical crafters and artificiers, it didn't take hundreds of years to upgrade. All the guns are Good weapons, by the way. The downside is that they are loaded with all the ammunition you get: I had to balance the numbers of weapons against the amount of shots.

Jarlot: Normally I'd consider this cheating. (sights down a revolver) But these :censored: killed Aerith, and we all know what Good's like when it's on the warpath.
cypher_zero

06-27-06, 08:09 AM		OOC: D*mn*t! No more good ideas! This is hard enough as it is! :rant: Seriously though, I'm gonna use that.

All the guns are Good weapons
You realize of course that almost nobody on the ship can use them right? 'Cause they're good weapons?

P.S.
*currently flaming*
Must... resist... temptation... flaming... :rofl:
.
Kaizer_Ryu

06-27-06, 11:22 AM		Must... resist... temptation... flaming... :rofl:
Well, she IS married to another woman...which she seems to enjoy (quite a lot :D ).
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-27-06, 01:18 PM		You realize of course that almost nobody on the ship can use them right? 'Cause they're good weapons?
OOC: 1. Rakshasas have DR 15/good and piercing. The weapons obviously have to be good.
2. I never really cared much for alignment anyway.
3. Since when have we ever obayed the rules of the game. :P
rampant

06-27-06, 05:02 PM		Kithle - I have to not try to kill either of the Pholli brothers for a whole week :weep: you people owe me.
Crystalforged

06-27-06, 06:08 PM		Kanatash: Is THAT what you had to pay big red with? I just kinda figured you gave him some of :coolcthul 's "special" brownies and after that he forgot about the "good deeds" part of the arrangement.
urial angel of death

06-27-06, 07:02 PM		Kanatash walks onto the deck completely corpreal. He is in a red trenchcoat, a wide-brimmed red hat, and is wearing yellow tinted sunglasses. White gloves each emblazened with a pentagram on the back cover his hands. His teeth have sharped and extended. He picks up two guns. One silver the other black. They are enormous and wiegh more than most men could wield in one hand.

OOC: I couldn't resist. If some of you believe this to be an insult to the ulimate badass of all time, please don't kill me.
Crystalforged

06-27-06, 09:38 PM		OOC: Normally I don't bother when people make references to games or whatnot I don't recognize, it either it won't mean anything to me anyways or if it was supposed to be funny somehow explaining why kills the hillarity. However, since this is Kanatash I feel I need to ask, who is he supposed to be?
urial angel of death

06-27-06, 09:48 PM		Alucard from Hellsing.
Crystalforged

06-27-06, 11:40 PM		Ah, I see. Never heard of it before but I checked him out on Wikipedia. I'll admit there definitely is a certain resemblance between the two.
cypher_zero

06-27-06, 11:43 PM		Terrek: (pulls out stake) You take that crap off before I stake you so many times your masters will feel it.
.
Crystalforged

06-28-06, 12:55 AM		Kanatash: (resumes incorperality and all the gear falls from him) :rolleye2: Some people just can't take a joke...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-28-06, 02:03 AM		OOC: The following is a result of me being very bored. I felt a sudden, incredible, overpowering need to be completely random. This is what happens when I have nothing constructive to do. :devil:

IC:

Redshirt 1: :uh-huh: Arrr!

Redshirt 2: :gah: ARRRR!!!

Redshirt 1: :blink: Arr. Arr arrr, arr. Arrr ar arrrr!

Redshirt 2: :shifty: Arr! Ar arrrr ar arrr arr ar.

Redshirt 1: :eek: Arrrr arrr arr arrrrr ar, ar arrrrrr ar aaarrr, ar arrr! ARRR! Arr arrrrrr aaarr; arrr ar aaaarrrrr ar arrr!

Redshirt 2: :mad: AAAARRRRR!!! Ar arrrr ar aaarrrrr. Arrr ar aaaarrrrr ar arrrr!

Redshirt 1: :weep: Arrr aaarrrrr ar aaar ar arrr...

Redshirt 2: :ahem: AAARRRR!!! Arrr ar arr, arrrrr ar arr. Arrr ar aaarr ar aaarrr, ar aarrr.

Redshirt 1: :( Arrrr. Arr ar aaar, arrr arrr ar aaarr.

Redshirt 2: :dancin: Arrr! Arrr aarrr ar aarr. Arrr ar arr, ar aaarr!

Redshirt 1: :allalone: Arrr...
rampant

06-28-06, 02:55 AM		Chalky - Pleeeeaaaase tell me its not speak like a pirate day :(

Geset - ARR

Horrid wolf - AAAARRRRR

Chalky - Not you too :weep:
Kamikaze Chicken

06-28-06, 03:08 AM		In the open field of green grass, a single solidary shrub stood quietly in the breeze. hanging fromone of its many verdant limbs was a solidary cocoon, in which new life was beginging to emerge. A struggle for birth began as one red wing, then another emerged from the gooey depths of the hard metamorphis chamber within. A new life spread its crimson wings inthe early light of day, though storm clouds wer eon the horizon. Life was inspired, life meant something. the small butterfly new that in its very heart it wa sin a place that would for ever change the worl dit lived in, and just as it was about to sing a jubilant song of birth, and love......
... A dragon unceremoniously fell from the sky flatening the little bug under its drunken a**.



entry #1 in the battle ground series

Remember when dragons fly drunk, butterflies die.

KAMIKAZE! :chicken:
Kaizer_Ryu

06-28-06, 03:30 AM		Yet more RULES WE HAVE BROKEN

1776: To the mages. Fireball should not be your instictive reaction to everything

1804: Dressing up in a costume and fighting crime is not a hobby

1877: Plan B is not: "twice as many fireballs as Plan A"

1944: I must stop hiding in the Paladin chick's room to watch her undress for the night

2021: For the love of god, FIREBALL IS NOT A TOY!!!

2101: We are not the Bat-Airship!

2332: We shall not break the 4th wall...

2334: Reading the Eberron handbooks while we game in character...

2335: Making snappy comeback lines that require out of character knowledge...

And the next two I am in EGREGIOUS violation of :D

2343: Cross gender roleplaying is no longer permitted due to...

2344: The abundance of lesbian softcore...

2430: the bard will not learn poetry beginning 'there was a man from Nantucket.'
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-28-06, 10:15 AM		Rules We Have Broken(some quite recently) :eek:

418. As pirate, we find talking like a pirate day to be unnecessary.

419. Especially just to make conversations incomprehensible.…

…1910. No we cannot be pirate ninjas!

Reman Weascal: So for the indefinite future all conversations in the Pirate langauge—hereafter referring to anything consisting of just the sound "arrr" in various long and short iterations—shall be converted into the Common language for ease of reader comprehension.

Redshirt2: {Oh, yeah? Well your mother liked it with billy goats!}

Redshirt1: {That's a lie! She was a pig person!}

Reman: Unless, of course, it violates pornography laws.
Crystalforged

06-28-06, 10:41 AM		You may all be wondering what Ariajni has been doing in this now two day long hiatus. One would assume he would be refining his plan for battle and preparing his troops. One would assume wrong...

Ariajni: (holding a device shocking similar to what Kelter would call a "Game Boy") :evillaugh Foolish monkey-equine creature, you cannot stop my rise to power with your silly barrels. I am Ariajni, I am all powerful. I shall defeat you and make your power my own. Then none shale stand in my way and I shall rule ALL! :evillaugh Or at least I will as soon as I get past these gawd damn springs. :ahem:

Device: GAME OVER

Ariajni: (hurls the device across the room) :headexplo NOT AGAIN **** damnit! I will have my revenge "Donkey Kong" and when I do you will suffer for all of eternity!
cypher_zero

06-28-06, 01:39 PM		OOC: Sorry about the wait guys. Got a lot of stuff going on right now. I hope to have it up sometime today, tomorrow at the latest.
urial angel of death

06-28-06, 10:16 PM		Volrath and P/Y/R are eating a custard. After all you might as well eat something nice before putting your life on the line.

P/Y/R: Doesn't this look kind of like... well you know.
Volrath: I guess so. They are both made mostly of sugar.
P/Y/R: You're kidding me.
Volrath: It's true.
P/Y/R: Then why does it taste so salty?
Volrath: The taste buds for sweet are at the tip of the tongue. Not the back of the throat. :smirk:
P/Y/R: Oh :embarrass

OOC: Oddly enough this exact situation just happened to me.
Charles Phipps

06-28-06, 10:50 PM		Jarot: So this is how we're going to have our final showdown.

Ariajni: You're crew has been rather amusing throughout all this.

Jarot: Funny, I thought you'd be tormented beyond all scope of reason by this point.

Ariajni: What are you, retarded? I'm the gawd damned CATMAN!

Jarot: Say what?

Ariajni: Sorry, I think I'm going alittle crazy to be perfectly honest.

Jarot: Good, because I intend to challenge you to a contest?

Ariajni: Riddles? Arms?

Jarlot: Who can run the Module you first appeared in better!

http://www.rpgnow.com/products/WOTC/tsr9415.jpg

Ariajni: You fiend. EXCEL! HYATT!

Excel: HAIL ARIANJIIIIPALAAZZZZZZOOOO!

Jarlot: Tifa?

Tifa: Shhh I'm undercover as Excel E. Excel.

Jarlot: Then who the Hell is Hyatt?

Aerith: Hello, husband

Jarlot: What the....

Aerith: *Aerith drops over dead and bleeds from the mouth profusely*

Ariajni: I had originally intended to use my Soul Sword to collect all the Angels and Demons' souls to raise them from the dead then turn them into my nightmarish undead-angel/demon unkillable army to unleash on the world but there's been some slight problems with the formula.

Aerith: I'm back now.

Jarlot: And what's disturbing, I still find her hot.

Ariajni: May I ask how you got into my Inner Sanctum of Evil Anyway?

Jarlot: Oh, I fought my way here.

Ariajni: Isn't there like thousands of demons guarding me?

Jarlot: Yeah. However, the weakest ones are on the bottom level of your Palace of Ultimate Darkness and by attacking them first I can clear out that level before returning to town for healing from the local priest. When I come back, that level is a breeze after I've gotten sufficiently experienced. Then I move upwards and frequently return for healing until I finally am able to reach the top level. There's often magic weapons, armor, and other useful items to help me on this quest spread throughout to use to my benefit.

Ariajni: That makes no logical defense sense. Who designed this plan?

Jarlot: It's tradition.

***

*Back to Jarlot's training as an adventurer in Tibet*

Ras Al Ghul: What happened to your parents was not your fault...it was your fathers.

Jarlot: Well DUH.

Ras Al Ghul: Oh good, Glad you agree. Now for our next lesson....Theatricality and Deception can be a powerful ally....

Jarlot: When do I dress up like a Bat?

***

Ariajni: So what are the stakes to this contest between us?

Jarlot: The Forgotten Freedom and all of its crew.

Ariajni: Fascinating....do you own them that way?

Jarlot: Their contracts included their souls.

Ariajni: Purrfect.

Jarlot: Okay, that's just dumb.

Ariajni: Silence you. I have only one proviso....

Jarlot: What's that?

Ariajni: We use MY dice.
Crystalforged

06-28-06, 11:49 PM		OOC: Just curious, Charles, are you stealing this battle from Cypher or are you doing something else?

Whatever's going on I have to say I don't mind the lull in the action all that much, it gives me a chance to post all of the odd things which have been wandering into my head lately. This for example...



IC: Kanatash is now floating around the war room wearing a large, metal funnel on his head filled with what appear to be oranges.

Terrek: Ugh, Kanatash? What's with the oranges?

Kanatash: They're tangellos.

Terrek: :bored: Ok, what's with the tangellos then?

Kanatash: I'm going to use them to stop the evil clown army.

Terrek: Uh-huh, is that so? An "evil clown army."

Kanatash: Yes, they want to be the dominant species in this world even if it means they have to destroy us all.

Terrek: And the "tangellos" are going to stop them how?

Kanatash: Oh, clowns hate tangellos, (whisper's confidentially) messes with their equalibrium.

Terrek: :uh-huh: Alright, Kanatash, I know you're a crazy-*** psychotic SOB but this is pushing it even for you.

Kanatash: I'm serious, really! Here I'll prove it to you, put on this red rubber nose.

Terrek looks at Kanatash sceptically for a moment but eventually complies and puts on the nose. As soon as he does the funnel on Kanatash's head sprouts a long metal tube. The tube makes a sound similar to a frozen chicken being fired from an air cannon as one of the tangellos comes shooting out of it at around Mach 2. The tangello strikes Terrek square between the eyes with enough force to cave in Terrek's skull to the point where his eyes are literally staring at each other before ricoching away. Terrek stumbles back and forth several times before tripping over his own feet and falling face first on the deck.

Kanatash: :rofl: See? I told you it messed with your equalibrium. :rofl:

Terrek: (rising, now seemingly unharmed) What the :censored: was that about!

Kanatash: (struggling to keep from cracking up) It's nothing personal, just a bit of hazing since you're the new guy around here. You should have seen you're face, oh wait you did!

Terrek: (massaging his head) And how long is this hazing going to go on?

Kanatash: Oh, until you earn my respect or I get bored with it.

Terrek: That's comforting to know. (stalk's off grumbling)

Meanwhile Kanatash examines the air around him for a moment before finally choosing a particular spot in mid air. He tears a dimensional rift and drops the tangello filled funnel through it.

---

Meanwhile on some random plane of existance...

A massive army of clowns seeths before a raised dias upon which a single clown stands next to massive clown-shaped mech. The clown on the dias is speaking.

Supreme Emporer Bozo: My minions! Our day has come! We shall destroy them all and prove ourselves the dominant species in this world! You shall sweep them aside with your water shooting flowers of doom and evil bicycle horns as I lead you from our new MechaClown-5000!

Crowd: Destroy them all! Destroy them all! Destroy them all!

Suddenly a small dimensional rift opens next to the dias and a metal funnel filled with what appear to be oranges falls through it. The crowd begins screeming in terror and cries of "tangellos" can be heard. One of the "tangellos" bounces onto the dias and comes to rest touching the side of Supreme Emporer Bozo's big red shoe. He suddenly stumbles backwards as if he has lost his equalibrium and falls onto a large red button on the Mech. As soon as he does a mechanical, female voice sounds.

Voice: Thank you for activating the MechaClown-5000's happy self-destruct system. The MechaClown-5000 will self-destruct in 5... 4... 3...

Supreme Emporer Bozo: Oh poo...

Voice: 2... 1... Thank you again for activating the MechaClown-5000's happy self-destruct system. Have a nice day.

(explosion of biblical proportions)

---

In the aftermath a pair of clowns climb over the bodies of their fallen comrades.

Clown 1: Well that plan's buggered. What do we do now?

Clown 2: I don't know. I suppose we could go back to scaring children and emotionally scarring them for life.

Clown 1: (shrugs) Good enough for me.
Charles Phipps

06-28-06, 11:54 PM		OOC: Well it is about Jarlot's vendatta.

Personally, Cypher is welcome to do whatever he likes with it, however I wanted to have the two confront one another at some point.
Rei32491

06-29-06, 12:08 AM		IC: Kanatash is now floating around the war room wearing a large, metal funnel on his head filled with what appear to be oranges.

Terrek: Ugh, Kanatash? What's with the oranges?

Kanatash: They're tangellos. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: I am so glad that I am not the only one who watches that show! :D
Crystalforged

06-29-06, 12:18 AM		DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! (ad infinitum)

Yeah, its a pretty good show. Plus, every now and then they have some really, really wacky stuff. I can always use more wacky stuff to inspire my posts. Like tangellos...
Kaizer_Ryu

06-29-06, 01:37 AM		Whatever's going on I have to say I don't mind the lull in the action all that much, it gives me a chance to post all of the odd things which have been wandering into my head lately.It's driving me crazy! I have all these ideas for the honeymoon, and I can't do anything with them! :weep: So one humble request: after this is done, please, please, PLEASE no one start anything that would cause Terra and Lisa to stay on board. At least not till they're gone. Thanks in advance.

Oh, and:

DESTROY US ALL!!! DESTROY US ALL!!! DESTROY US ALL!!!

*cheerfully* I'll have the chicken!

DESTROY US ALL!!! DESTROY US ALL!!! (and so on and so forth)
cypher_zero

06-29-06, 01:58 AM		OOC: Here’s the first part. I’d wanted to post it all at once, but the final climactic battle will have to wait till tomorrow (I hope). Hope you like this so far, but the best is yet to come.
IC:
Three airships zoomed over the hill and closed in on the battlefield. Below the demon hordes finished off the last of the poke-creatures only to see the new threat come plummeting down at them from the sky. The ships crashed into the hordes, enveloping them in burning cinders and explosions. Demon flesh burned with the wood and the fires left only scorched earth where they hit.

The moment after the burning ships hit, Sa’vor, Feal-Thas, Tara, Andrea and Naz'roth crested the hill and watched the demons burn. As one, they raised their weapons and let them fall, sending forth their armies from behind the hill to come down on the burning landscape of demons. The battle was begun.

Terrek stood on the bow of the real Forgotten Freedom and watched the battle unfold below him. The fake airships were a stroke of brilliance, he thought. The idea had come to him as they were passing over a shipyard, so they’d just commandeered three of the ships right there and loaded them down with explosives. A simple illusion and a little telekinesis took care of the rest.

Terrek turned his attention from the battle below to those still on the ship. His strike teams were ready. All those not already in battle below were gathered on deck. He turned to address them all and spoke

Terrek: This is the moment of truth. Every other battle that you’ve had before this was mere practice. Today we are not just avenging the death of one of our own, but defending our very world from forces that would see it either crushed or controlled.

He paused for a moment, then turned to Jarlot. Jarlot nodded in reply, his composure now one of righteous fury. Godbreaker stood out on his back, the carefully crafted adamantine gleaming slightly. Jarlot turned to the helm and looked at slip.

Jarlot: Slip, bring us in.

Slip: Aye’aye, captain.

The airship screamed down from the cloudbank, the elemental burning as hard as it could. Even Earl was mad with battle-rage but did his part without fail and brought the ship over top the rear of the battlefield.

Tony the Tiger sent out the telepathic signal showing them where to drop. The wind rushed past nearly drowning out all sound as Terrek shouted out his command.

Terrek: Bravo team, GO!

In unison the crew jumped over the side of the ship leaving behind only Terrek’s hand-picked team. Some flew screaming down to the battlefield, others leapt holding long ropes in one hand to slow their decent, blasting away with a gun in the other.

Kithle landed first and immediately ate the brain of a Rakshasa and hurled its corpse at another. Kanatash came to a stop just overhead and unleashed a savage series of crushing mental attacks, obliterating the mind of Balor who crumpled to the ground in the fetal position. They nodded to one another in approval then put their backs to each other to face the oncoming tide. They saw their crew come to the ground and Volrath landed nearby crushing several demons beneath his many legs.

Others landed quick and attacked relentlessly. The Rakshasa were falling. It was only a matter of time before they would have all the generals destroyed.

A black dome of shimmering energy appeared overhead and they all knew that they fought this battle alone. Terrek had warned them that once it was in place, only he could dismiss it, but he’d be fighting Ariajni so they’d have to fend for themselves till the battle was decided. Terrek’s team would either kill Ariajni and he’d return to release them or Terrek’s team would all die in the fight in which case they might be safer inside the dome till they could figure a way out.

Just then a massive explosion blasted Kilthe off his feet bringing his thoughts back to the battle once more. He looked up to see its source and his eyes widened in fear…

****

Terrek raised his hands and focused his will, bending the arcane energies of the world to do his bidding. They resisted at first, as they always did, but the spell was complete and a black dome of shimmering energy rose to cover the area where they had just dropped off the crew. He’d worked long and hard to create this spell; an impenetrable shield. No magic could pierce it, no vision could see through it. It served only the purpose to cut off the back of the battlefield from the rest, leaving the army below without their generals. It’s impact was seen immediately as the demons turned to look for their masters, look for some command that might aid them against the might of the devils, half-dragons and undead they faced, but they were cut off, and so they panicked, making them all the easier to cut down.

***

Sa’vor waded through the combat slaying any demon to cross his path. The battlefield was home to him. He’d been bred for battle and knew it well, but this time was different. He saw his foes die before him as always, felt their blood run through his fingers as it always had but now there were emotions attached. For the first time he felt that this battle meant something. It wasn’t just a senseless exercise to occupy his time as so many others had been. He was avenging a fallen comrade, and he was furious.

He’d been without his soul for so long, he’d forgotten what the full weight of emotions was like, but he felt them now. Righteous fury burned through him as he levied Soulharrow at the demons and he felt good for the first time in a long time…

***

Naz’roth brought the hilt of his sword down on a demon’s skull, splitting it in two. He wanted something more challenging than these puny flesh-bags, but Terrek had instructed them to only face the weaker ones in the event that they were needed against Ariajni. The plan made sense, but it felt wrong.

He didn’t trust Terrek. He’d done something to Sa’vor. What, he couldn’t say, but there was a look in his companion’s eyes that he hadn’t seen before. He even acted different, savored the battled differently, almost as if he cared about it. It was battle. There was not time for emotions; they’d only get in the way. He’d seen fit to dampen Sa’vor’s long ago, hardening him to battle but now… whatever Terrek had done had re awakened them.

Time for idle musings after the battle, he thought. For now I must concern myself with destroying these foul things…

***

Feal-thas looked over at Sa’vor and saw the buring rage in his father’s eyes. He was pleased. For as long as he could remember, Sa’vor’s eyes had been empty. Now he was glad to see that the battle had awakened his burning passion, even if it was only for the moment.

Feal-thas returned his gaze to the task at hand. A demon’s skull cracked under his armored foot and he ripped another’s throat out with his teeth. He swung his blade around and sliced through another’s head. It was so easy; these demons were no match for him. Sa’vor must be bored with these things…

***

The battle raged below. So many players in this little game, thought Terrek. Pirates. Rowdy, uncontrolled and more concerned with booze and women than anything of any real importance… yet somehow they make an effective fighting force. But still, if I hadn’t laid out the plan, they all would have died. I’d wondered why the gods would let such a congregation of so many powerful beings exist. Now I see. Alone Sa’vor could crush armies. Here, he’s so lost for direction that he’s incapable of thinking straight long enough to realize it. So many of the others are the same; they wade through the demon armies as though they are swatting flies, but they can’t pull themselves together long enough to take over the world. Pitiful.

Terrek turns from the bow and looked at his chosen strike force. Of all those concerned, these were the individuals that would defeat Ariajni. He spoke softly, barely audible in the wind, but they knew what he was saying. They were each ready for their part.

Terrek: It’s time. Terra, Lisa, you’re up first.

***

Ariajni sat upon his throne of skulls at the top of his massive tower that rose like a spike out of the hellish land of the demon wastes. Behind him the demon fire burned, crackling. He frowned. The battle was not going well and even his immense powers could not pierce the veil of the black dome. His generals were the best, but still…

The battle cry came from nowhere, and he looked up in time to see a figure cloaked in burning silver flame charging at him. He barely had time to stand before she ran her blade up to the hilt into him, burning him with the silver fire, causing untold agony. Holy energy erupted from the blade as it sank into his gut, blasting a whole out his back. He drew his hand back to strike at the woman and rip her throat from her body. Her eyes widened as he brought his claws down for the killing blow… and was caught.

Ariajni whirled to see a vine wrapped around his wrist, the thorns digging into his flesh and dark energy shooting along its length. Another woman held the end which seemed to be buried in her flesh. The black energy burned but he ignored it and grasped the vine with his hand, intending to rip the woman off her feet toward him.

Just then a blast of unreality hit the back of his head as he stared at the vine-wielder. It tore a whole in the fabric of the universe as it struck, drawing part of him with it. He turned what was left of his head and saw the Breaker Prime glaring at him, white-hot hatred in her eyes, non-energy oozing from every pore in her body. Ariajni laughed and spoke.

Ariajni: They send three women to kill me? ME!? This is insulting. I’ll kill you all and watch as your bodies burn in the demon flame!

Terrek appears behind him grasping his head, digging his claws into the flesh of his face. His chains wrapped around Ariajni’s arms and legs and Terrek sank his teeth into the Rakshasa’s neck. The bladed ends of the chains buried themselves deep into his flesh and white energy sprang up around them. Ariajni could feel his very essence being drained. For a moment his eyes widened in surprise and Jarlot appeared, running at full-blow, sword raised high, ready to strike. He felt the energy from the sword and knew it would destroy him.

Every muscle in Ariajni’s body tensed then released. A massive explosion of energy erupted from his body blasting everyone backwards.

Jarlot flew back and skidded along the floor losing his grip on Godbreaker as the sword tumbled out of reach. Lisa was blasted backward and slammed into a wall, her weapon still impaled in Ariajni’s gut. The backlash hit Terra like a ton of bricks and she lost her hold Ariajni with the vine-whip and dropped to her knees. Terrek flew backwards away from Ariajni... right into the demon fire anchored only by the blades embedded in Ariajni’s flesh. Only Satnak was unaffected having raised a shield at the last possible moment. Ariajni turned to her and his head mended itself, growing back in at an alarming and disgusting rate.

Ariajni raised his hands in an arcane gesture preparing to blast Satnak into oblivion. Her eyes widened; not even she could take a massive blast from a demi-god. With her last breath, she prayed to the gods that they would have mercy on her soul and closed her eyes anticipating the blast that would end her. It never came.

Satnak opened her eyes to see the Terrek’s chains tightened, white fire shooting along them once again and the being pull himself from the flames his flesh ablaze. A bestial rage filled his features as his skin melted away. Terrek lunged. A horrid growl erupting from his throat as his claws sank into Ariajni’s back. She saw Terrek’s fist clench and he ripped his hand out… pulling the spine from Ariajni’s back. He fell to the ground instantly dead as everyone regained their footing.

Terrek stood over the corpse still holding the spine and pulled his chains from Ariajni’s back. His face was a mixture of anger, surprise and confusion. The others ran over and all began talking at once.

Terra, Lisa, Jarlot and Satnak: How did you… I mean… what the… that was… what about my revenge... no f**king way…

Terrek: That was far to easy… not nearly as much power as I thought…

His voice trailed off and he stared down for a moment lost in thought. Then finally he looked up. Raw fury the only thing left on his face now. He spoke with a forced calm, though his whole body shook with rage.

Terrek: We’ve been tricked. This wasn’t Ariajni. He must’ve…

Terrek’s eyes flew wide with shocked realization.

Terrek: No… the others! We’ve left them to die!

Then he turned and ran for the wall of the tower, spinning his hands in a spell that blasted a hole through it, never losing grip on the spine he’d ripped from the fake. He dove, spreading his wings then pushing them fiercely to increase the speed of his decent beyond what gravity alone could do

The others stared after him dumbstruck. Jarlot was the first to snap out of it.

Jarlot: Oh, F**K!

He raced for the hole Terrek had made and leapt down after him, the others following close behind.
.
rampant

06-29-06, 03:26 AM		OOC: NIce but quick thing, the next person who shows Satnak praying gets it. Satnak doesn't pray, most of the Island academy doesn't.
---------------------------

Satnak - I flinched... No time, Kill!

Satnak unleashes a world shaking barrage upon the enemy hordes.

Satnak - Just gotta get a few more before the big ugly show his mug.

A flash of grey light can be seen briefly around the breaker prime.
Charles Phipps

06-29-06, 03:43 AM		Jarlot: Soooooo, we're down to the final stretch aren't we?

Ariajni: Yes, you have one hit point left and I have the next combat round. The Forgotten Freedom will soon be mine.

Jarlot: It's not over until the character sheet is ripped up.

Ariajni: You know they think you're out there battling my double Jarlot.

Jarlot: Clone Spells are subject to frequent character abuse.

Ariajni: I see.

Jarlot: Oooooo, look at that! A critical failure!

Arijani: Damnit!

Jarlot: And a critical success on my part!

Arijani: Oh hell.

Jarlot: And you know what that means?

Arijani: I shudder to ask.

Jarlot: I get to rule the world.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-29-06, 08:14 AM		13: :zzz:

Bunny: Wake it! The Entity's up and the battle's happening!

13 (sports announcer voice): OH BY ANY RANDOM GOD, that cannot be legal!

Bunny (sports announcer voice): New use for a mindblade, certainly.

13: Ow, that has to be painful.

Bunny: Important part for a demon, too. Never know when you might get a gig with hot anime chicks.

13: :eek: Okay, that was just excessive. You do not need to dual-wield kamas like that.

Bunny: At least he doesn't have to worry about hemerroids.

13: There's Naz'roth, one of the former demon lords. (Naz'roth's statistics flash up into view) He's been distinguishing himself on the fields of Shavrath recently. He's 2,314-1. Wow, that's certainly not subtle. Some of the other demons are already sliding on it.

Bunny: Well the couatls took them all by surprise that time. Oh, ho, ho, ho. And coming up left field we have Kithle (Kithle's statistics flahs up into view, but they change with every brain he eats), nicknamed "The Great Bastard".

13: Now he's gottem in the hold…now he's sucking out his brains…now he's realizing that this guy is a walking porno storage.

Bunny: But let's go over to Andrea and Norbaz.

13: (Andrea's statistics flash up) You know, it still amazes me that some people think necromancers can't be attractive. And the zombies are…what are they doing? Oh, man, is that sick.

Bunny: No wonder there are rumors about her and Norbaz.

13: Not only is she a wiz with waking the dead, she's a former member of the Emerald Claw. And that thing with the zombies is just wrong.

Bunny: Okay, I did not know you could use a Death Attack that way.

13: Um, wasn't Lady supposed to be around this field somewhere?

Bunny: Well, Terrek is dropping the shield, so maybe we'll get a chance to find out.
******
Ariajni and Jarlot face off. Just then there is a long howl, and Thyrs leaps up the stairs, Lady upon his back. Lady flips off in a huge dramatic lunge for Ariajni, who easily steps aside. Before she has time to react, he grabs her head in a crushing grip.

Ariajni: Hmm, and what little gnat do we have here?

Lady: My name is Lady d'Eva. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Ariajni: I think not. For all your power, for all your knowledge about how this day goes, you still do not understand power. (his eyes laugh at her as he reads her mind) Ha! You still follow the ideas of that demented god, believing that one cannot be powerful and smart at the same time.

Ariajni throws Lady hard onto a wall, and sends a blast of the Demon Fire at Thyrs.

Ariajni: Knowledge is power. And I have both. I will crush you (standard super-villain monolgue)
cypher_zero

06-29-06, 11:09 AM		OOC: NIce but quick thing, the next person who shows Satnak praying gets it. Satnak doesn't pray, most of the Island academy doesn't.
OOC: Sorry 'bout that. I've been reading through everyone's Wiki as I was writing this thing to try and keep everyone's characters as true to form as I could, but Satnak doesn't have one up, so... if someone want's to post one for future reference, that'd be great.
.
Crystalforged

06-29-06, 12:02 PM		Most of the crew are still under the dome, battling the generals when Kanatash suddenly appears on a hilltop. He's dressed like Pacino, complete with scar across his face. He is holding in both hands the massive gun which he constructed during the lull before the battle.

Kanatash: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! (telepathicly to the crew) Ok, I'm about to fire this thing and I have no idea what it's going to do. I've opened up an extradimensional space and you're probably going to want to get in it before I decide to fire this.

Most of the crew slowly breaks off whatever battles they had been involved in and make their way in Kanatash's direction before jumping in a small, completely black hole in the ground behind him. Kanatash waits until all the named crewmembers are inside before pulling the trigger. The builing energy is palpable and sound the weapon makes as it powers up shakes the resolve of even the most fanatical Rakasha's. Suddenly all the building energy is violently released...

It does absolutely nothing...

To the Rakasha...

OOCrystalforged: I don't feel so good.... (falls over on ground)

Everything goes black.

---

The entire field seems consumed by absolute blackness. There no longer seems any up, down, or any other direction for that matter. The very existance of the ground beneath one is called into question as is the existance of everything else, even one's self. In this darkness two sets of eyes appear, cartoon style. The first is the glowing, solid black eyes of Kanatash, the other is the cat-like eyes of a single rakasha.

Rakasha: Uh, what just happened?

Kanatash: It would seem that attempting to comprehend the sheer, raw power of my weapon was more than the mind of whatever entity from beyond non-existance was controlling us at the moment could handle. It's mind overloaded.

Rakasha: Entity from beyond non-existance?

Kanatash: Yes, we are all just fictional characters created by the wims of these entities and made act out their sick fantasies. They create everything that exists to us and hold absolute controll of our lives.

Rakasha: But if this entity has been knocked out, how do we still exist?

Kanatash: A valid point, I can only surmise that I personally have grown as a concept to the point where I am no longer defined by any single entity. I have literally taken on a life of my own.

Rakasha: What about me then, I don't even have a proper name.

Kanatash: I hypothosize that you exist because my will wants you to exist. In the abscence of an entity from beyond non-existance to impose upon this imaginary world their concepts of what is possible, any free willed creature can shape the world in any manner they can imagine. Part of my concept however is that I am not limited in what I can comprehend. Without an entity to impose some limits on me my actions are not limited, not even by the limits of my imagination. My powers are unlimited, I can literaly do anything I wish, say to you and your friends.

Rakasha: We're boned aren't we?

Kanatash: More than I can imagine you imagining.

---

Several minutes.

OOCrystalforged: Ohh, my head. (gazes around the battlefield) Man, what happened here?

Kanatash: (trying to sound inocent) Oh, nothing.

OOCrystalforged: (suspicious) nothing, then what happened to the rakasha?

Kanatash: Oh that gun I made must have taken them out.

OOCrystalforged: Then why didn't I see this happen?

Kanatash: You must have looked away or something.

OOCrystalforged: Then why does my head hurt.

Kanatash: You must have hit your head when you looked away.

OOCrystalforged: So you're saying that gun did... I can't even discribe what the horrers inflicted on the rakasha both body and soul.

Kanatash: It's a really impressive gun.

OOCrystalforged: (raising an eyebrow) Uh-huh...
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-29-06, 12:44 PM		Naz'roth raised his staff to the sky. the Emerald burned with dark power, Naz'roth felt the wonders and the words of darkspeech buzz with the anticipation of release. sparks of magical energy lanced off Naz'roth crushing entire regiments of his foes. a coronal of darkfire burned around him, flowing around the staff, a blast of black flame launched itself into the sky. now burning with blackest flames naz'roths symbol appeared, in the centre of a pentagram. from each of the five points a lance of magical energy blasted into the earth. more demons where incinerated in the blasts. Now Naz'roth began the incantations, from his tongue flowed many darkspeech words. and the day became night as the moons obscured it from the world.

Naz'roth raised a gauntleted hand and twisted Ariajni's pillar of fire to his will, it became as black as Naz'roths own soul. the very land itself began to shake around Naz'roth as more and more of his power flowed from him. Naz'roth raised a hand towards Ariajni's tower, he made a crushing motion. and the very tower itself seemed as if crushed by a gaint hand. ground into dust and collapsing, Naz'roths eye's began to glow with an emerald light. he turned towards the remaining Rakasha's Rajah's and made a hand motion. each and every one collapsed dead. Naz'roth let go of the power. the symbol still burned in the sky, the pillar of fire was still black. Naz'roth smiled, he still had at least half of his power. he began to draw power from the souls of the dying demons around him, consuming their essences to restore his might.
Naz'roth sighed as he smashed a demons head in with his shield.
now the Dragons would definetly know he was free. Naz'roth shrugged and unleashed a bolt of energy from his staff ripping the souls from a advancing skirmisher platoon and drawing them into himself. these where thoughts for another time.
***

Tara unleashed a wave of necromantic energy to crush a balor that had been causing particular troubles on the left flank. she then unleashed a barrage of magical attacks on a troublesome Rakasha sorcerrer platoon. the attacks impacted on a almost invisible shield. Tara smiled and reached into the ground beneath their feet, she tore the ground open with her magic's and plunged the Rakashas to their doom, a balor approached her flaming whip raised to smite her. she tried to prepare a spell but to know avail, the whip lashed at her. burning her flesh. it then prepared for a finishing blow, Tara stared into its dark eye's seeing the sadistic joy of destruction. before the balor even raised its arm a familiar figure burst through its chest in a spray of gore, Sa'vor span in midair and severed the balors head with his Mindblade in the form of a Scythe. he then pushed the body away from him as it exploded. Sa'vor smiled at Tara and offered a hand,

Tara: *telpathicaly* how did you do that?

Sa'vor: *grinining* Bloodwalk

Sa'vor bloodwalked through a nearby halfdragon warrior whom wasnt in the least bit distracted by his creator passing through him. Tara smiled, she hadnt seen Sa'vor having this much fun in many years. Tara raised a hand and signaled for a skirmisher brigade that had been stealthly infiltrating through the crags at the left flank to attack a particularly difficult Arrowdemon unit. a brutal melee erupted in which the arrow demons where shredded by the far more skilled Half-dragon skirmishers. the skirmishers then proceeded to open fire on the enemy's left flank, causing heavy casualties.
Tara smiled, but such happyness quickly became a frown... she hoped the others where all right..
Lord Kale Fangblade

06-29-06, 12:58 PM		Feal-Thas danced and weaved amungst his enemy's his blade slaying all whom where not fast enough to react. he unleashed a blast of lightning and fried a attacking psion before he could manifest a shield.
for Feal-Thas battle and combat where his life, he had been born into it. he could feel the fierce and feral energies of war burning in his soul, he loved the taste of blood and feeling as you strike an enemy. Feal-Thas cut four attacking demons in half before they could even raise their weapons to parry, it was in that instant that he felt the sting of an arrow striking his shoulder.
he looked to see a green fletched arrow sticking out of his shoulder.... he smiled. obviously piosoned. another one struck him, this one causing him to step back.

Feal-Thas raised his head to see the firer. it was a Rakasha nobel.
a black and twisted bow clutched in its hands, it fired again. this time Feal-Thas dodged it easily. in an instant Feal-Thas drew his bow and notched an arrow, he Saw the Rakasha do the same. Feal-Thas colsed his eyes and channeled his might into his arrow. he felt the world around him and the whisteling passage of the Rakasha's arrow. Feal-Thas stepped aside and fired. his own blackfletched arrow span in the air and lodged itself in the Rakasha's throat. the lord pulled at the arrow as a spray of blood splattered the lords own armour. it wrentched the arrow from it and smiled evily. Feal-Thas uttered the triggerword. the arrow exploded in a ball of black flame. the Rakasha's form was completly swollowed by the explosion. when the flames died out, all that remained was ash. Feal-Thas drew his blade once more, the call for bloodshed ringing in his ears
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-29-06, 01:42 PM		The patrons of Erk's place watch the battle on the big television, with 13 and Bunny commentating.

Bunny: Okay, Naz'roth is just overacting there.

Random demon at the bar: Oh, come on. That's a perfectly legitimate technique.

Other random demon at the bar (at Sa'vor's Bloodwalk): Foul! Foul!

Random angel at the bar: This is just sick!

Random devil at the bar: I agree, those rakshasas don't know a thing about real warfare.

Random angel at the bar: And their coach just stinks.

Other random demon at the bar: Oh, you got a problem with Ariajni?

Erk (signalling to the other employees): *Barfight comin on.*

13 (on the TV): If we were following rules that would be completley illegal.

Bunny: I really wish they'd leave some whole. Greyfeline left some great demon recipies.
rampant

06-29-06, 07:21 PM		OOC : Try for stew its not picky about the meat being in the proper shape.
--------------------------------

Satnak - Hands off hairball.

Kidney punches Ariajni.

Ariajni turns from Lady and gets a clock to the jaw.

Satnak - Your right about thrys and the whole power intellect thing, but hands off my people.
Kicks Ariajni in the throaght.

Ariajni - SKECH gah heehee... IMPUDENT *Slay Living with mad dc*

Satnak - ....

Arriajni - Of course its not that simple. *insanity*

Satnak - I'm dissapointed. Even if that worked do you think that would help? :rolleyes:

Ariajni - :mad: You *****.

Satnak - Tell you what I'll wait till you have a chance of hurting me then I'll fight.

Ariajni - :mad: :censored: :tantrum: :rant: :banghead: :hoppingma
---------------------------------

Satnak - ('pathing Lady don't move until i say go then sneak away, jarlots already prepping the next move)

Lady - (IHH huh?)

Satnak- (no time left now run)

-------------------------------------
On the other side of the black pillar.

Lady - Since when do you do illusions?

Satnak - Its a sculpted astral constuct with terra's shadow clone over it.

Lady - I was told Terra was smart, but thats just downright crafty.

Satnak - It's my plan. :mad:

Lady - oh :embarrass

Satnak - Hold this. I'll need you to trigger the spell on that scroll in a little bit, when i give you the sword trigger the scroll got it good. Now while my construct lasts, when will he use something that works on constructs anyway?.

Lady - wait a minute

Satnak Leaps into the pillar and a strange 3d pattern begins forming in the air around the battle field. Spheres, diamonds, circles, line and solid style, start manifesting in appearently random angles.
cypher_zero

06-29-06, 08:06 PM		OOC: WTF?! Would someone tell me what rampant is talking about? I'm sorry dude, but I have no idea what the h*ll is going on in your last post. Which reminds me, at what point in time did I lose control of the battle? I know I've been a little slow in posting it, but aside from fangblade's post, the others refering to the battle make no sense whatsoever. Case in point: When I left off, Kanatash was inside an IMPENETRABLE barrier, they had yet to encounter the real Ariajni and Satnak and the rest of Terrek's striketeam were still in the tower about to jump out after Terrek. I don't mean to come off sounding like a jerk, but I've put a good amount of work into setting this battle up and it's effectively being torn apart underneath me. That and I've already started writing the next part based off of what I'd posted before.

*note*Charles Phillips was doing something with Jarlot and Ariajni before I posted not directly connected to the battle and hence this post does not apply to him. Nor does it apply to silvercatmoonpaw who is doing something related, comedic and yet stragely fitting despite the more serious bent to my description of the battle. Keep up the good work.

P.S. Again, I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I did put a fair amount of work into setting this battle up and it irks me to see it ruined.
.
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-29-06, 08:38 PM		P.S. Again, I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I did put a fair amount of work into setting this battle up and it irks me to see it ruined.
OOC: Join the club. I did two things that got hyjacked in ways I didn't like, but I let them be. We can't wait forever for you to do your thing. My advice is never to plan in advance. Maybe an idea or two, but anything longer than a post is going to be torn apart by this crew. Why do you think we're all about chaos? :D

Edit: As soon as the crew has really won, Lady and Thyrs cease to exist. Just keeping you informed.
cypher_zero

06-29-06, 09:06 PM		OOC: That's why I was going to do it all in one post, but everyone was gettting kind of antsy, so I decided to post what I had. I assumed I'd made it clear that I was going to finish off the rest of it but...
.
rampant

06-29-06, 09:35 PM		OOC : sorry man its hard to hold back, Silvercat left lady in a bit of a spot, so i figured I'd try to work in Terra's shadows and Satnak's evolution while staging a rescue. Its just how things tend to happen around here.
--------------------

Zakya Rakshasa Duchess - HAHAHA lookat the cute little cublings.

Geset - :ahem: ... *polymorph any object*

ZRD - What good did changing my clothes do? I'll still kill you.

Geset - THink about what I changed them to, then consider my brother has howmany tentacles now? 4?

Chalky - now you know true fear :D

ZRD - RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY
Kaizer_Ryu

06-29-06, 09:41 PM		One major thing to keep in mind when posting, as SilvercatMoonpaw said, is that since this is a group project, things go as planned only rarely. Take my story arc where Terra got her shadow power. I had planned that (tentatively) to go in a completely different direction. However, due to events posted by others, I had to change the story on the fly (thus explaining why it gets kind of haphazard in the middle). I think it turned out better than the original. If something goes COMPLETELY wrong, as in changing the intended outcome of the arc, you can assert DM authority. However, this is restricted to the director of the story arc.

Though I'm not trying to be hyper-critical, I feel I must say that (IMO) Terrek should not be the focus here. He has been aboard for only a little while, and this is vengeance for the death of a crewmate. He simply doesn't fit the bill of main character in this instance.
cypher_zero

06-29-06, 10:07 PM		OOC: You're right of course as far as this being about avenging the death of another crew member, but in case you haven't figured it out by now, Terrek never does anything without an ulterior motive. He even said “I care nothing for the dead,” at one point and frankly, I’m slightly surprised the rest of the crew let him take the lead as far as the plan went. When this arc started out, I’d never intended to write the actual battle, I was just trying to jumpstart things by having Terrek offer up a plan. I didn’t actually realize I was supposed to be writing it till after there had been no posts for a day and a half and I posted the question, “is everyone waiting for me?” so yea…

As far as making Terrek the focus of this battle I have three things to say about that. First off, he came up with the plan and placed himself where the fighting would be the toughest. Second, he’s my character, my only character as a matter of fact, and any time I write something it will predominately be about him simply because I know him better than any of the others. The last thing is that while my first post was mostly about him, the second one won’t be and I’ve got the Wiki open on my browser and intend to give almost every character, even the Lesser-used ones, at least a cameo. You’ll see when I finish it, until then, all I can ask is that you be patient. I intend to make it well worth the wait.
.
Crystalforged

06-30-06, 12:35 AM		Case in point: When I left off, Kanatash was inside an IMPENETRABLE barrier, they had yet to encounter the real Ariajni and Satnak and the rest of Terrek's striketeam were still in the tower about to jump out after Terrek.
Just to clarify what happened with Kanatash there, he never actually left the barrier, nor did anyone else. He simply created an extradimensional space, think portable hole, for the crew to take shelter in when he fired the weapon since he had no idea what it would do and didn't want any collateral damage. When he fired the weapon actually managed to knock out the random entity from beyond non-existance (aka me) that was controlling things at the moment. Since the entities (aka us) are creating everything here when one of them is knocked out everything they are creating at the time ceases to exist. However Kanatash is a concept which has grown far beyond what he was origionaly created to be and has taken on a life of his own. This allowed him to continue existing when the entity was knocked out and without an entity to impose their concept of reality on the world he could shape it to his whim. This fact was very unfortunate for all the Rakasha still alive on that battlefield.

Now all this made complete sense in my head before I typed it out. Now something either must have been lost in trying to type it or it's too crazy to make sense to someone else. I hope it makes more sense now.
urial angel of death

06-30-06, 01:05 AM		Volrath: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zero!
Chestbusters rip from the stomaches of multiple demons.
Volrath: Now out do that.
Nalfien: Fine I will.
Nalfien makes an arcane gesture and multiple redshirts begin to glow. The redshirts wave their arms in dramatic sweping motions. Each demon they gesture toward bursts into flame and runs screaming from the battle.
Nalfien: Your turn.
Volrath: Innsmouth
Numerous redshirts in front of Volrath grow enormous claws from there fingers, their eyes become bulbous, all other their hair falls out, and their skins become layers of green fish-like scales. They proceed to rip apart various nearby demons.
Nalfien: Fenir
Cuddles grows to epic proportions. He begins to swallow whole legions of demons at once.
Volrath: Give me a little time to top that.
Nalfien: :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

06-30-06, 07:09 AM		13: I wonder……do we exist if our Entity ceases to think?

Bunny: Let me tell you a little secret…:shifty: (draws 13 closer)…our Entity does not exist. Only we exist, and it is just a tool we use.

13: So than it's mind could never be overloaded.

Bunny: Why do you think it's so good at being evil?
Kaizer_Ryu

06-30-06, 05:09 PM		Terra: So...would I cease to exist?

OOKaizer: You know, I'm not sure...

Lisa: What about me?

OOKaizer: Probably not. You did start off as someone else's character...

Lisa: Then, if the Rakshasa still existed because Kanatash wanted him to, then shouldn't Terra still exist because I want her to?

OOKaizer: That would make sense. But you know how much sense anything else in this thread makes... Anyway, neither of you can disappear. I still need to send you on the honeymoon. :devil: :plotting:

Terra: You know something? You enjoy writing about that way to much.

OOKaizer: :smirk: You like it too...

Terra: :embarrass
Crystalforged

06-30-06, 10:42 PM		Yikes, this thread has gotten really quiet lately. It used to be there would be a dozen or more posts per day. I really hope it's not going to die a quiet death or something since I've got lots of ideas bouncing around in my head right now but I can't post them until this current story arc resolves itself.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-01-06, 12:27 AM		Yikes, this thread has gotten really quiet lately. It used to be there would be a dozen or more posts per day. I really hope it's not going to die a quiet death or something since I've got lots of ideas bouncing around in my head right now but I can't post them until this current story arc resolves itself.Ditto.

Cypher, I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but perhaps you could just post the setting of the final showdown. Since you're having a hard time doing the whole thing, why not let us play a part in it? You can finish it off, but let us do our part. I think most of us are waiting for you to just end this, and that's why no one's posting.
Gladius_Lucix

07-01-06, 01:36 AM		ooc: Crystalforged, I highly enjoyed the "Break the DM's Mind" weapon. :D Glad I had a part of it.

IC:
The Forgotten Freedom 2 hovers over the battle field, near the peak of the dome. Redshirts are duct taped to the sides, firing at anything that comes within range, and generally keeping rather well protected (Accuracy by Volume). Inside, Liam, Ketler, and Allen put the finishing touches on the Mi-Go Cannon modifications.

Allen: Wait. This thing cut down hordes of C'tan, and we're making it more powerful?

Ketler: What of it?

Liam: Don't forget, that focusing array we added on the aperature should prevent large scale destruction.

Allen: Okay, so we'll only be carving a hole all the way to Argonessen. That makes me feel better.

Ketler looks up from his work.

Ketler: You know, if we can get it to stop about a few miles down, we could make it a volcano maker as well.

Liam: Good idea, Ketler. Remember, though, this is just a full scale prototype. We saw the results from a small scale one that just used Kanatash as a power source.

Ketler: Alright, it's done. Just one more wire to connect, and we can head over to fire control.

Ketler connects said wire with a satisfying click. He and Liam race to the fire control, while Allen walks along as the sanest of them all, considering the actual consequences.

---------

Liam: Ha! I win! Boot the targeting systems.

Ketler: Alright. Keeping all Ubers and Scum out of a 20 yard radius of the line of fire, we have a nice test target... here.

Liam: Fire when ready, Ketler.

:bump:

KER-FRAZZLE

---------

A blinding orange beam streaks out from the top of the dome. When the smoke clears, both sides stand gaping at the (luckily) pinpoint accuracy as a rakshasa was cleaved neatly in two by the beam.

---------

Ketler and Liam: :dancin: :evillaugh :clap: :love: :ayyyy!: SWEET!

ooc: :evillaugh :devil: The fun's just about to start.
Crystalforged

07-01-06, 02:20 AM		ooc: Crystalforged, I highly enjoyed the "Break the DM's Mind" weapon. :D Glad I had a part of it.

Kanatash: Oooooh, there's a name I like. (holding up the gun) I christen thee, the DM-Breaker 1.0. :evillaugh
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-01-06, 06:44 AM		"Doo-doooo-d'doodoo."

"Mnah-mnah."

Ariajni: Oh for the love of—WILL YOU NOT DO THAT?!

OOcat: By the way, Caralot will not be returning to the FF until Lisa and Terra are done with their honeymoon. I have something to do that requires that I not mess up the honeymoon and that Lisa be on the FF.

"Dun-dun-dun!"

OOcat: ELAN!
Kaizer_Ryu

07-01-06, 10:05 AM		"Doo-doooo-d'doodoo."

"Mnah-mnah."OOC: :mad: Thank you ever so much for getting this song stuck in my head. IT NEVER FREAKING ENDS!! But you have given me an idea...

IC:

Martian 1: "Cow...cow...yip, yip, yip, yip, yipyipyipyipyipyipyip, uh-huh."

*BRRRRRINNNGGGG*

Both creatures: :eek: "GONG!!!"

Martian 2: "Telephone...telephone...yip, yip, yip, yipyipyipyipyipyipyip, uh-huh."

Martian 1: "OoooOOOHHH"

Ariajni: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAKS!

OOcat: By the way, Caralot will not be returning to the FF until Lisa and Terra are done with their honeymoon. I have something to do that requires that I not mess up the honeymoon and that Lisa be on the FF.OOC: You sure you want to wait? They'll be gone until A.) I run out of ideas for stuff for them to do (this will take a while) and B.) it is an appropriate time for them to return (i.e. a break between world destroying menaces). I figure it'll be at least a week our time.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-01-06, 10:09 AM		OOC: :mad: Thank you ever so much for getting this song stuck in my head. IT NEVER FREAKING ENDS!!
OOC: At least it's pleasant.

Also: :rofl:
I am not sorry I did that. Your post was hilarious. Maybe we should make these guys part of Kantash'a crew?
OOC: You sure you want to wait? They'll be gone until A.) I run out of ideas for stuff for them to do (this will take a while) and B.) it is an appropriate time for them to return (i.e. a break between world destroying menaces). I figure it'll be at least a week our time.
One: I don't think it's all that hard. I do have other characters. We can't do the Caralot/Kantash wedding till Lisa and Terra get back anyway.
Two: Believe me, you do not want this hanging over their heads.
Crystalforged

07-01-06, 10:30 AM		OOC: :confused: Ok, just gonna state for the record that those last posts were completely over my head.
rampant

07-01-06, 11:20 AM		Kithle - Kind of in a desperate fight for revenge and survival here.

Dodges a Goristro's punch and slits its wrist.
Crystalforged

07-01-06, 11:48 AM		Kanatash: Oh, sorry. (baleful teleports about half of the goristo's skull away) Better now? Or do I need to continue?

Kithle: Say, you ever wonder what happens to the pieces you teleport away with that power?

Kanatash: Well, normally infinitesimally small pieces are scattered across existance but I recently set up a far more "special" destination for the pieces.

---

Somewhere in Thrane. A meeting is taking place between the council of cardinals. Krozen is making some fiery speach against the crew of the Forgotten Freedom.

Krozen: I advocate that we form an allience to put a stop to them once and for all, their reign of terror will never end if we do not. They are yet unaware of our plans so with careful planning we might-

Krozen is cut off as several pounds of Goristo skull materializes out of mid-air directly above his head, falling and covering him in demon brain matter. Moments later a small note also materializes and drifts towards the table. One of the cardinals picks it up and read it aloud.

Cardinal: "This moment courtesy of Kanatash. P.S. Remember, I'm always watching."

Krozen: :weep:

Cardinals: :mymy:
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-01-06, 12:23 PM		OOC: :confused: Ok, just gonna state for the record that those last posts were completely over my head.
OOC: Tell me what tangellos are and what the joke is, and I will explain them for you.
Gladius_Lucix

07-01-06, 04:34 PM		As Ketler and Liam finish their happy dance, Ketler for the destruction, Liam for the device working, Liam looks back to the firing controls.

Liam: Ok. So "1" was pretty cool. Want to try some of the higher settings?

Ketler: Ready for "10" yet?

Liam: :eek: I don't think that would be a good idea under an impenetrable dome. Maybe we should just stick to "1" for now.

Ketler: :weep:
Kaizer_Ryu

07-01-06, 08:11 PM		OOC: Tell me what tangellos are and what the joke is, and I will explain them for you.Ok, I'll let you both in on the respective jokes.

First, SilvercatMoonpaw. Tangellos are a cross between a tangerine and an orange. The joke is from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy on Cartoon Network. It can be quite off the wall at times, I think you'd like it.

Second, Crystalforged. The jokes SCMP and I did were different skits from Sesame Street. I grew up in the era where it was actually interesting for the parents to watch as well as the kids. The 'mnah-mnah' skit was one my favorites, so I couldn't resist chipping in with another one of them. Now I just need to figure out how to stick the 'here fishy, fishy, fishy' skit in here. :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-01-06, 08:43 PM		First, SilvercatMoonpaw. Tangellos are a cross between a tangerine and an orange. The joke is from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy on Cartoon Network. It can be quite off the wall at times, I think you'd like it.
OOC: know what it is. The animation makes me quesy, but it's funny sometimes.
Second, Crystalforged. The jokes SCMP and I did were different skits from Sesame Street. I grew up in the era where it was actually interesting for the parents to watch as well as the kids. The 'mnah-mnah' skit was one my favorites, so I couldn't resist chipping in with another one of them. Now I just need to figure out how to stick the 'here fishy, fishy, fishy' skit in here. :devil:
Actually, I got "Mnah-mnah" from the Muppet Show. (Note to self: incorporate more muppet jokes.)
Kaizer_Ryu

07-01-06, 08:50 PM		Actually, I got "Mnah-mnah" from the Muppet Show. (Note to self: incorporate more muppet jokes.)Once I thought about it, I remembered I've seen it on both. The crap they have now gives me a headache. I have a little sister and she loves Elmo *shudder*. Damn spawn of Satan usurped Grover.

And yes, we need more muppet jokes.
cypher_zero

07-01-06, 08:56 PM		OOC: Sorry about making you wait all this time. I'm out on vacation right now and getting internet is kinda sketchy. Feel free to finish the battle however you wish, just make sure Terrek gets to eat Ariajni’s soul and be sure to have the crew using those soul trapping crystals he gave them. I've got a whole little thing planned around him eating Ariajni's soul and for the crystals when I get back. Again, sorry about the wait and sorry bout that little speal I did earlier. I'll try to keep up with what's going on, but like I said internet's kinda sketchy so, yea...
.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-02-06, 12:08 AM		OOC: Vacation internet sucks. Ok, this assumes that rampant's post mean't that Terrek had dispelled the barrier in order to get to Ariajni.

IC:

With most of his generals taken down, Ariajni had taken over directly. The pirates had proven themselves far more crafty than he had anticipated. The gun the insane one wielded had thrown his troops onto a great deal of confusion, and just as he had regained control, the barrier came down. The strange construct double had annoyed him a great deal, but he was now ready to end this farce. Raising his hand, he prepared to blast a large group clothed in red. The blast was interrupted, however, by a rather heavy blow to the back of the head.

Ariajni: *turning* Who dares-!

Satnak: :smirk: That would be me.

Ariajni: Foolish mortal. You may be powerful, but you cannot defeat me alone.

Satnak: Who say's I'm alone?

Around him, about two dozen figures appear. Terra, Lisa and Satnak seem to be in multiple locations. Try as he might, he cannot detect the true forms.

Terra double: This is the end of you.

Lisa double: All your plans are for naught.

Satnak double: Time to die.

Several figures rush him as he counters with the pent up energy from the uncast spell. They dissipate, only to reform at another location. One of the Lisa images strikes out at him with that accursed holy flame. Dodging the blow, he tears at her, only to pass through the image harmlessly.

Ariajni: What is this trickery! Stand and fight me cowards!

The same image turns to face him and holds out her hand. A massive blast of arcane power issues forth, striking him dead on. Steadying himself, his mind raced as more images attacked him.

Ariajni: (i.h.h.) How are they doing this? That was the Sorceress' power...

An image of Terra strikes at him from behind, connecting with the kind of raw power only Satnak could wield. Recovering quickly, he send a blast of dark energy at her, only to have it pass through her and strike one of his own minions several meters away. The assault renewed with another Lisa image swinging at him. In frustration, Ariajni struck out at it several times, trying to determine exactly what this illusion was. Passing through him, the double turned and sent out several chains that ripped into his body. As he reeled from the blow, they retracted and disappeared.

Ariajni: (i.h.h.) So, he's here too... I had not planned for this diversion. But it will make my victory all the sweeter...

A Satnak and Terra double attack, only to be rebuffed. Tiring of the annoyance, he sends out a weak blast to rebuff the next clone, only to have it strike it and dispell the image.

Jarlot: Suck on this, biatch!

Jarlot wielded a strange blade, seeming to be a shotgun and sword fused into one. As it struck him, Jarlot pulled the trigger, unloading two blessed bullets into his chest. They burned intensely as Jarlot came up for another strike, this one sending bullets ripping through his gut.

Jarlot: *pulling back* You lost our little game fair and square. You should have just given up then.

Ariajni: Urgh...I've never been a good loser.

Sending out wave after wave of dark power, Ariajni hoped to dispell the rest of the images. After hearing several grunts from the impact, he looked around. The group lay on the ground, stunned. Terra's body covers Lisa's, having shielded her from the blast. Jarlot begins lifting himself up slowly. Terrek and Satnak pull themselves free of some rocks. Pulling out the Soul Stealer, he picks his first victim. Terrek shakes his head, only to find the sword plunged through his chest.

Ariajni: One...

Terrek: :devil: That's what you think.

Ariajni: *stunned* What! How are you-!

Terrek's body swirls into darkness as Ariajni finds his sword in an impossibly firm grip. Trying desperately to free it, a sharp pain eminates from his arm as Satnak breaks his elbow. Reflexively letting go of the sword, it is drawn into the darkness and out of the Material Plane. Satnak then proceeds to uppercut him with a massive spiked warhammer, sending him flying. He rights himself in mid air, lands and send another volley at the group. They disipate into shadow, only to return scattered about the field.

Terra: *in a German accent* No sword for you!

Lisa: Now you're watching sitcoms?

Terrek: Focus, please.

The doubles resume their place, circling him.

Ariajni: How many times must you mock me?!

In a fit or rage, he tears about the field, raking at the images with his claws. With each counter from the doubles, his rage only grows. He had never seen such an ability. How could he counter something he couldn't even detect? Unless... Idiot! Why did he not think of this before!

Ariajni: That's quite clever of you. Making me exhast myself striking at air while my anger blinded me. But no more.

A blinding flash eminated from his hand, dispelling the shadow doubles. Leaping up, the group loses him in the glare. Before she can react, Terra finds her wrists bound in Dimensional Shackles.

Terra: Son of a-!

She is cut off by a crushing blow to her head, sending her flying. As the light fades, Satnak and Terrek move in as Lisa heads for Terra. The demi-god, weakened significantly by their previous assault, finds himself hard pressed to keep up with the two. Satnak blinks in and out, landing a devistating sieries of blows as Terrek blasts him with spells and rips at his body with his chains. A blast of dark power stuns the two for a moment, and Ariajni sends Satnak flying with another blast to the chest. Grabbing Terrek's chains, he pulls him in and headbutts him. He then proceeds to throw him through a nearby rock formation.

(off to the side)

Lisa: You ok?

Terra: Ugh...all those illusions were harder than I thought. Even if I got out of these, I don't think I've got enough for another round...

At this time, several rakshasa's run by, fleeing from Volrath and Nalfein. Lisa proceeds to cut them off as the two close in from behind. Activating her graft, Lisa tears through them, the boys encasing their souls in the crystals. One leaps over Lisa, only to be ensnared by several vine tentacles.

Terra: :devil: Just what I need...

The rakshasa shrieks as he feels his life force painfully draining away. Finally, he is released and flops to the ground. Vorath finishes it and entraps its soul as well.

Terra: *standing up, restored* That should do it.

(back in the battle)

Ariajni: *his wounds healing* I will not be beaten by such meager measures.

Jarlot: *reloading* Seemed like they hurt pretty good to me. :P

OOC: Ok, that's a pretty long post. I'd better stop here and let someone else have some fun. Remember, those shackles mean no shadow powers. Anything else is fair game.
Rei32491

07-02-06, 12:39 AM		Leaving Ariajni to Jarlot's group, Volrath (transformed) and Nalfein (riding Cuddles) head for another group of demons.

Demons: :eek: RUN AWAY!!!

The group splits in two, heading in opposite directions.

Volrath: You take that one.

Nalfein: Right-o.

Seeing his pursuit, one of the demons yells to run faster. One of the smaller, more pathetic looking ones trips and falls. Coming up to him, Cuddles snatches him up and eats him.

Nalfein: *sounding like a car switching gears* LoooOOO- *shift* -SERrrrrrrrRRR.

The group heads for an embankment, leaping in in an attempt to lose him.

Nalfein: *Jim Carrey style* Awwww...nobody want's ta play with me!

The embankment erupts in flame as the air fills with the screams of burning demons.

Nalfein: Ha-ha!

At this time, Cuddles slips on some blood, falling over onto Nalfein.

Nalfein: *strained* Like...a glove?

Pulling himself free, Nalfein looks over to see Volrath coming towards him.

Nalfein: I'm at 482. How'd you do?

Volrath: *BELCH* I'm at 483.

Nalfein: :mad: :weep:
rampant

07-02-06, 03:16 AM		Satnak - Are you really this stupid?

Ariajni - What?

A floating crystal whumps him upside the head.

Ariajni - GRrrrrrr... calm down she's trying yo make you loose foc-uk

Gutpunch.

Satnak - You talk to much.

Ariajni - wheeeeeze... where's my sword?

Satnak - Now he catches on :rolleyes:

Ariajni - OH CRAP

----------------------

Lady has the sword on the ground in front of her as she finishes reading the scroll. A cluster of Floating crystals sheilds her from view.

Lady - Escemvigas Elshok gurram Moviun

The sword shatters as the remnants of the souls it has devoured are released, and its power matrix sundered.
-----------------------

The crystals, spheres and other manifestasions collapse into the black pillar.

Ariajni - (spots lady and the shattered sword) YOU .... I will have your HEAD ON A PLATTER, A PLATTER YOU LITTLE FREAK.

Ariajni Dashes past Satnak at Lady.

Jarlot - You won't catch me off gaurd twice, putty that.

Ariajni's gaping kidney wound has just slowed him up a bit.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-02-06, 06:41 AM		Lady and Ariajni stand there, staring into each other's eyes, the sounds of battle passing around them. Terra, Lisa, Satnak, all hang back as they recognize a true moment of vengance. Ariajni bleeds from wounds that won't heal, yet he is still far from done.

Ariajni: So, the little deva had a child. And now her future version has come back to kill me. And…they plan on sucking out my soul. :evillaugh Your mind is so open you might as well admit defeat and kneel before me. (he licks his lips) Hmm, that idea intrigues me.

Lady: (grimaces) I won't be one of your little playthings. You killed my father, and I'm here to make sure you can't kill my mother.

Ariajni: :evillaugh With what?! Your silly power of funny hats? Mrs. Fuzzy Logic was always a fool, even back in the age of demons. It is only chaos, and to harm me one must utilize the power of good.

Lady: You're wrong.

Ariajni: :confused: You speak nonsense.

Lady: I do know one thing about the Forgotten Freedom: through its chaos it creates true freedom, and that is a good more powerful than anything contained within the Silver Flame.

Ariajni looks around and the crew assembled to take him down. He can see it in their eyes now: the knowledge that they have so much to lose should they fail. The couatls had never even come close.

Ariajni: That won't be enough to save YOU!

He lashes out with all the power he can draw. If he is going to be imprisoned, he needs a backup plan. Though it seems as if he is crushing the punny Outsider in a telekinetic grip, he is secretly planting a soul seed inside her. A part of him would survive if he lost, and should he succeed this one would become……his.

But Lady doesn't struggle or cry out.

Ariajni: :mad: Cry (increasing the grip) DAMN YOU! CRY!

Lady: Thyrs, special technique.

Thyrs howls, and as it howls there come the sounds of many tiny yips, like thousands of yappy dogs. The patches of blue on Thyrs's coat begin to dissolve off, forming themselves into a swarm of Quenches, which converges on Ariajni in a flurry of yapping and ankle-biting.

Ariajni: Ah! Get off me you vermin!

He releases his grip. Lady flies down right in front of him. Her hat changes into a large foam cheese wedge.

Ariajni: :eek: No.

Lady: BEHOLD THE POWER!

Ariajni: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The Quench swarm releases Ariajni, who now looks quite emaciated. He falls to his knees, barely able to stand up. He looks up at Lady with a look of pure confusion.

Ariajni: How did you know I was lactose intolerant?

Lady just smiles cruely, then punts Ariajni into the waiting group.

OOC: Remember, in reguards to the soul seed, Lady dissapears once Ariajni is "deafeated".
Kaizer_Ryu

07-02-06, 12:32 PM		:mymy: A Demi-god is lactose intolerant? *snicker* *giggle* *muffle* ...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-02-06, 03:34 PM		the demon's fled before Sa'vor's forces, Sa'vor unleashed a triumphet roar, this was echoed by all his kin. Sa'vor barked orders to the troops, whom began to clean up the battle field and gather up the corpses of their fallen allies. cleric's moved amungst the warriors patching up wounds, Scouts returned in from the flanks as the mage's began to set up a portal that would lead back to Sa'vors fortress dimension. Sa'vor scanned the battle field, the shattered corpses of his kin and the enemy scattered before him, Naz'roth appeared blood staining his armour, a small gash on his face. they stared at the desloated land before them. Naz'roth sighed.

Naz'roth: to think, that once this area of Korvoire was fabled for its astounding beauty. ironic that now it is a twisted and barren landscape. now made worse

Sa'vor: *staring at the pillar of black flame* you think you could get rid of that?

Naz'roth: *frowns* im not sure, what ever originaly created this was more than a fiendish power. it irradiates more evil than i could think possible.... its not just evil... its somthing... alien. strange.

Sa'vor: *continue's to stare* it wasnt this powerful before....

Naz'roth: Of course! it's drawing on the souls of the dead... powering somthing... *his eye's widen, He lets out a particularly vile curse* Sa'vor. warn the others! quickly!

Sa'vor nodded and removed a vial of one of the crew members blood. he bloodwalked through Naz'roth. Naz'roth turned back to the pillar ... how could he have been so stupid. how could he have fallen for such a trick! Ariajni was far smarter than he'd realised. Naz'roth raised a hand and pulled back his magic from the land around him, the chasm's sealed up, the sky became as it was usualy. rivers of lava vanished. Naz'roth's soldiers didnt, Naz'roth had a feeling he would need them.

***

Sa'vor Bloodwalked through Kithle who shuddered Visibly.

Kithle: Damn it Sa'vor! i wish you wouldnt do that! and anyway... how do you possess a vial of my blood?

Sa'vor: *hurridly* No time to explain. Naz'roth sent me to warn you all...

The entire land shuddered and quaked from an explosion of energy. Satnak whom had been nocked flying by the explosion collided with Sa'vor, both where knocked to the ground. from a huge crater Terra and Lisa crawled, many wounds bleeding strongly. a wave of pure terror washed over the crew, causing many of the lesser members to flee in terror, Sa'vor's eyes widened as he beheld the sight before him. it was too late... they had all been fooled...

***
Naz'roth quaked visibly on seeing the explosion. they where doomed.... even with the tampering from future entities the doom in wich they where to fall had come to pass... Ariajni had used the Demon Flame to his advantage, knowing Naz'roth would manipulate it. it had been slowly drawing on the power of kyber, using the depths to bind souls to the flame. now it was gathering all the souls of the dying from the universe and turning them into pure power, pumping Ariajni full of it. Naz'roth gritted his teeth. if he was to die then he would die fighting. Naz'roth groaned. the meddeling from the future is what had caused their deaths. now he understood, Ariajni had known that someone would have tried to meddle, so he built the pillar and used the battle to gather up souls and absobe the magic from the ubers. Naz'roth sent a all of this to sa'vor in a telepathic message.
***

Sa'vor noded, now he knew what to do. he grimaced, even by his normal standards this was evil. Sa'vor traveled through time, this time to the future, where there wouldnt be any ubers around to try and stop him, they wouldnt understand. he had to kill Lady when she was a child, or do it when she was an adult, either way. he frowned, he would have to do it, even if he had to cut down thousands that stood in his way. even if he had to kill his own friends to acomplish this goal. he would even kill Fuzzy logic if he had to, she had brought this down on herself, even killing a innocent child was better than having a world of demons.

OOC: this is what you get when you :censored: with the time line.
Crystalforged

07-02-06, 03:43 PM		EDIT: Oh, dang. Fangblade posted while I was typing and now my stuff doesn't fit with the story as well.



Kanatash suddenly teleports into the room at this time.

Kanatash: (cruel smile) Time to add insult to injury.

He pulls out about a super-sized chibi-wand and unloads a massive blast of chibi energy at Ariajni. A cloud of dust springs up around Ariajni, fluffy-happy clouds complete with smily faces, with the blast concealing him from sight.

Kanatash: That, sir, was for refering to me as a "fool" when we last met. (turning to the others) I'll leave the rest to you guys. If you need any more help just let me know. I'll be waiting in the wings with a new batallion of mutant pokemon. (materializing a hat so he can tip it in Ariajni's direction) And to you sir I wish good day. (teleports out)
Endless_Helix

07-02-06, 04:37 PM		Ariajni: Ha HA! I am invincible!

Satnak: No, you're not.

Ariajni: No, I am. I just haven't really been trying.

Satnak: Prove it.

Ariajni punches Satnak in the face.

Satnak: That was completely path- HEY!

Ariajni pulled Satnak's pants down and pasted a "Do Not Disturb" sign on her butt.

Satnak: It's going to take a week to get it off! That was my favorite pair too... KETLER! YOU OWE ME BIG TIME!

Ariajni: Hmmm? Oh, very well; if I must.

The Mi-Go cannon blasts through the air, vaporizing everything in its path. It hits Ariajni leaviing nothing but a scorchmark, with a bit of bone.

Ketler: HA! Take that you fool!

Liam: So... that was at 10 right?

Ketler: Yeah.... So?

Liam: Look outside...

Ariajni: I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, JARLOT. VERY DISAPPOINTED. THE GAME WAS CLEVER. THAT WAS STUPID. THE RECONSTITUTION OF MY INTRINSIC FIELD WAS THE FIRST TRICK I LEARNED. IT DIDN'T KILL MY FATHER, DID YOU THINK IT WOULD KILL ME?

Ariajni towers outside the impenitrable dome, nearly the size of Lyrandar Tower. He simply walks into it, demolishing an entire side of the impenitrable globe.

Ariajni: THE WORLD'S SMARTEST MAN MEANS AS MUCH TO ME AS THE WORLD'S SMARTEST TERMITE.

Ariajni begins to shrink as he walks through the Field towords Jarlot. He picks Satnak up by the hair and calmly and easily tosses her out of sight.

Ariajni: What's that you hold in hand, Jarlot? Another secret weapon?

Jarlot: You could say that.

John, Enlightened Dire Keel: Hello.

---
Sarlona:

Milaji, useless daughter, watched as a star fell from the sky.

"Father, would it please you if I was allowed to visit the fallen star. I think it landed near by.

Her Father smiled and bid her to find her desire.

Milaji, wandered out into the woods searching for the fallen star. She found a large hole in the ground, several feet deep.

A very muscular woman climbed out, seemingly unscathed. Milaji took a step back, immensely surprised.

Then the woman ripped open Milaji's chest and threw the still beating heart off into the bushes.

Satnak rolled her eyes as she dropped the corpse on the ground.

"I am going to kill him, dead! I have to admit though, that was a cool trick..."
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-02-06, 05:24 PM		OOC: this is what you get when you :censored: with the time line.
OOC: You have a problem? Then just tell me.
IC:
13: Can't do it, Sa'vor.

Sa'vor: Should I just live with the consequences? Given time, and a reason, I can, and will, destroy you as well.

13: No, I mean litterally. Well, you can't do it.

Sa'vor: Please, none of this Non-existant subtlety. I have work to do.

13: *sigh which translated means "Will you come down to my level?"* You litterally can't because you, Mr. "Preserve the Timeline as is", cannot create a situation which would ultimately prevent you from undertaking the same action. You can't kill your own grandfather. You can't kill Lady because then she won't come back in time, and you, being the über-law that you are, won't know that you have to kill her. And remember, without her help you get a world of demons anyway.

Sa'vor shakes his head.

Sa'vor: You are mistaken—

13: *time-traveling pimp slap* HelLO?! You still in there? Because last time I checked you tried to prevent me from doing what you are about to do now: using time travel to solve your problems. Look what it's getting Lady. Who knows what'll happen if you do this? We know it works……but I know firstsight that it doesn't work the way you want it to.
Charles Phipps

07-02-06, 06:14 PM		OOC: This was set up for some time in the past. You guys are welcome to continue the fight against Arijani but I do want to note that he may soon no longer be the main problem here.

*While Jarlots clone fights Arijani outside with the others*

Real Jarlot: Now it's time for me to deal with this situation once and for all....

Andrea: DAMNIT JARLOT...what are you doing?

Real Jarlot: Take a look what's at the bottom of Arijani's tower....

*She stares*

Andrea: What the hell IS that thing?

Real Jarlot: It's the Ebon Flame. It's Arijanji's masterpiece. It contains the souls of all those who worshipped the Dragon Below, the Lords of Dust, and other evil powers. It absorbed them from the dimension of the dead and other places since its creation. It's only a fraction of the size of the Silver Flame but it doesn't have to be for what its designed to do....

Andrea: And what's that?

Real Jarlot: Ressurect Khyber.

Andrea: That's insane.

Real Jarlot: Yes, but Arijani believes that he can transfer his consciousness into Khyber's form with the proper spells around the Ebon Flame. That way he'll be essentially elevated to true godhood. With the Sovereign Host forbidden from interfering in the world and the Undying Court a pathetic half-mockery of gods, there won't be anything to stop him from doing whatever he likes to the world.

Andrea: We're going to stop him right?

Real Jarlot: Arijani is many things but he's a kitty of his word. I won the Ebon flame from him in a contest and it's mine now. Its now time for ME to become a god.

Andrea: That's....WHAT!?

Real Jarlot: Do you think without Aerith that I have any reason to hold back anymore? I'm sick of the Daelkyr, the Quori, the Lords of Dust, Erandis D'Vol, and the rest of those pathetic fools threatening my planet. I'm sick of the death, the destruction, and having to fear the Rajahs awakening at any moment. Now it's MY turn. Do you remember the fear of the Last War? I'm going to use this to sweep them away. All of the people who make this world suck.

Andrea: Jarlot....you're not going to do that. I know you too well. You're a good man at heart.

Real Jarlot: *The Captain sticks his hand into the flame and in a very short moment....the flame dies to become a Gauntlet around his hand as Jarlot is covered in a nightmarish glow*

Andrea: Oh my Gods....

Real Jarlot: Not Jarlot anymore...Thanatos. The collected power of Khyber is now connected to me through the Ebon Flame.

Andrea: I never...

Real Jarlot: You address omnipotence, tred carefully.

Andrea: What are you going to do with this power?

Real Jarlot: I am now omnipotent. What should I do with such almighty power? The answer to that is really quite simple: Anything I want. Anything. I am incapable of error. Any result that displeases me I can simply reverse. There is nothing I need to worry on, for I am Thanatos. And Thanatos is supreme. Supreme.

Andrea: I...

Real Jarlot: My first act is to recreate my lost love. Behold now...Dark Angel

Andrea: Andrea screamed as she became a black winged angel that resembled Aerith in many ways but was now a pale skinned demoness.

Thanatos: It is good.

***

Elsewhere

*the ground shakes as the Demon Wastes begin....changing. The ground begins to belch forth massive stone towers and black shapes*

Arijani: Hehehehe....that poor fool. He never did realize that my goal all along was to reunite Khyber's power with her avatar. Now at last the world of the Demon Wars will be remade. The Demon Wastes will flower with the fruit of darkness, the legions of the damned, and we shall sweep away all enemies....and eventually I shall have the gauntlet.

*he stared at the Forgotten Freedom figures*

I'll just need some patsies to help.
rampant

07-02-06, 09:02 PM		OOC: I"m confused why did she do that to the kid?
----------------------------

Satnak - I'm so sick of rakshasa and radiant's, and .... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I HATE JUMPED UP FIENDS WITH GOD COMPLEXES. Too bad for the bastard I already messed with his pillar. ... Probably better fix the kid now. Dammit thats my last powerstone *time regression* your lucky i'm in a reasonable mood kid. Now how do I abuse this pillar thing... Maybe I can de-stabalize the whole set up by channeling the souls through my melds for a bit. I'd need to touch it again.

Milaji - cough

Satnak - Your up?, about time. Get me a glass of water and and some Ice I need to clear my head... OH ****, bad timing.

Satnak's pearl crumbles and her eyes become solid grey orbs.

Milaji - :eek:

Satnak - This is gonna hurt.
Gladius_Lucix

07-03-06, 12:33 AM		Seeing Jarlot gain control of the Ebon Flame, Liam looks at Ketler in horror.

Liam: If I am not mistaken, we are now channeling the power of a nigh insane evil deity through the Mi-Go Cannon.

Ketler: Seems to be right.

Allen: The new gauge, the one that can actually handle Kanatash's output, just stood up and ran away screaming.

Liam: I don't think this is a good thing.

Ketler: Power reserves are quickly overloading.

Liam: Emergency short the power limiter. Rotate out the focuser, activate the multi beam. Target every demon, devil, or otherwise bad thing allied with Ariajni, including him. Set fire to continuous beam and fire on my mark.

Ketler and Allen rush to remove all safety power restraints as Liam belts out orders.

Liam: MARK!

UBER-KER-FRAZZLATION
Kaizer_Ryu

07-03-06, 01:23 AM		OOC: Honestly, I don't see how we're getting out of this one...

IC:

Lisa pulls the near unconscious Terra from the rubble following the explosion of the Mi-Go shots. Unable to move freely in the shackles, Terra had failed to escape the blast radius around Ariajni. After quickly patching up the more severe wounds, Lisa manages to break the cuffs. Pulling out a Healing Potion, she coaxes Terra into drinking it, bringing her back to reality.

Terra: *hack* *cough* Ugh...what does Mickey put in those things, Aboleth mucus? *looks up at Lisa* You ok?

Lisa: That is a relative term at best. I have no idea where anyone else is and it really looks like we're completely boned.

Terra: *holding her head* Why didn't we see it before? Of course he'd do something like this...

Lisa: With the way he is, it's so easy to forget he's a Child of Khyber. Just like how we missed Satnak's pain, we misjudged what the Captain was willing to do for revenge...

Terra: *standing up* What about Ariajni?

Lisa: No idea. The blast before didn't kill him, but it was different this time. For all we know, he's bound to the Flame as well. This whole thing has gone wrong beyond our worst fears.

Terra looks over the battle field. In the chaotic flow of power, she cannot tell for certain whether anyone else is ok, or even alive. The dark visage of the former Captain burns beneath the ruins of Ariajni's tower, accompanied by a dark angel. Terra stands there, a look of sorrow and fear on her face.

Terra: Is this how it ends? Is Lady's world truly unavoidable?

Lisa: Not yet. As you once said: If the gods themselves seem out to stop you, raise your fist and cry out in defiance to the last fiber of you being.

Terra smiles, happy to have Lisa remind her of her own defiant nature. She was right. If she, or, as she feared far more, Lisa was destined to die, then nothing they did would matter. However, giving up would only assure that outcome. The only way to find a different path was to look for one themselves. She reached out and grasped Lisa's hand tightly.

Terra: What do we do next?

Lisa: I don't know, but we'll find out together.
rampant

07-03-06, 01:49 AM		Satnak - Gotta remember to kill Ariajni Especially brutally for pantsing me.

Grey traceries race along just under satnak's skin, except under the tatoos. Mildly reminiscent of cumputer circuits, Only spaced farther apart and only really visible when the light hits just right. Her armor is dissolved to access its materials for the traceries and internal transformations that are just begining. Her eyes take on a faceted look, like cut gems.

Satnak - GRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Satnak's body is ravaged by the changes. Her mind latches onto the fight with ariajni and returning to the front. Her power responds lifting a slab of rock out of the ground with her on it and turns back toward the fight. Poor Milaji is holding on for dear life.

----------------
OOC : I figure we need a new permanent non-uber.
Charles Phipps

07-03-06, 03:33 AM		OOC: Special thanks to Skeletor.

And please forgive me using Kanatash if he's not really capable of this....

People are also welcome to take this wherever they want.

IC:

Thanatos: *projects his gigantic image across all of Eberron* People of Eberron! The Last War....is over. I stand before the Ebon Flame, channeled into the power of Khyber itself. Chosen by destiny, by the powers of all creation! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as the gods themselves bear witness to it. Now. I, Thanatos, am Master of the Universe!

*Jarlot slowly starts metamorphisizing into a glowing Demonic Version of himself with Draconic heads coming out of his backside as a glowing skull staff fills his hand like the Wand of Orcus*

YES! Yes... I feel it, the power... fills me. Yes, I feel the universe within me! I am... I am a part of the cosmos! The power flows... Flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me! The universe is power! Real, unstoppable POWER! and I am that force! I am that power! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER! Fools! You are no longer my EQUAL! I am more than man! MORE THAN LIFE! I... am... a... GOD! Now. You... will... KNEEEEEL! KNEEEEL!

*Lightning begins falling down from the sky as the Undying Court of Aerenal is struck by the dozens, earthquakes rock Argonessan, and part of Xen'drick falls into the ocean*

Dark Angel: So it is decreed by the Avatar of Khyber, Thanatos, that all Demons and mortals must pledge their undying allegiance to the Lord of all Doom. No other religions, no other faiths, no other creeds, or Kings shall be allowed but the veneration of the Emperor.

Thanatos: YOU shall be the first to taste my revenge Arijani.

Arijani: I *GAVE* you omnipotence! This should have been MY prize! How dare you say that I do not deserve a reward! If not for me then that woman would have never allowed you to be able to ascend to be a god.

Thanatos: Then recieve the reward of a quick demise

*The Demigod is tormented by a Meteor Swarm that falls down upon him followed by a dozen Delayed Blast Fireballs striking him simulatenously like Magic Missiles*

*Somehow Arijani yet lives despite Jarlots efforts*

Kanatash: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.....

Thanatos: Something amuses you Demonspawn?

Kanatash: Do you honestly believe that my masters will allow you to dominate this plane? Please, you are but a small blip in their plans. BEHOLD THE FULL MIGHT OF XORIAT!

*terrible dimensional tears begin opening as Jarlot turns to see the sight of Daelkyr entering into the plane*

Thanatos: Clearly Khyber must remind some of her slaves of their PLACE

Kanatash: My people are older than some random god of this universe! WE SHALL SEE WHOM IS STRONGER!

*Jarlot and the monsters begin battling across simulanetous planes of existence even as the results are almost enough to drive those whom look upon it insane. Dark Angel battling at his side*

Jaela: TERRA! I've got to get to that Soul Sword Arijani....maybe I can draw Aerith's spirit into me.

Lisa: What good would that do!?

Jaela: I can't kill my own father.....but I have to believe that in my heart....he wouldn't harm me.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-03-06, 03:56 AM		Now free of her magical bonds, Terra pulls Ariajni's sword from the shadows and hands it to Jaela.

Terra: Take it, then. I leave your father to you. Just promise me one thing.

Jaela: What?

Terra: Don't die before I do.

Jaela smiles and heads off.

Lisa: Is it ok to just let her go?

Terra: I don't know. I placed a marker on her, so if she needs us, I'll know. I'm just not sure if we'd end up making it worse.

Lisa: In the meantime...Ariajni's still alive...

Terra: Barely.

Terrek walks out from behind one of the stone pillars. Upon seeing them, he hurries over.

Lisa: Oh, good. You're still alive.

Terrek: Took me a bit to regenerate. Want to finish what we started?

Terra: Did you find the Godbreaker?

Terrek: Busted to hell. But Satnak's on her way back. Now that the Captain is no longer interested in revenge, she should do nicely.

Lisa: This sinking feeling...could it be what I think it is?

Terra: Too soon to tell, but it's entirely possible she's...
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-03-06, 06:50 AM		Real Jarlot: Do you think without Aerith that I have any reason to hold back anymore? I'm sick of the Daelkyr, the Quori, the Lords of Dust, Erandis D'Vol, and the rest of those pathetic fools threatening my planet. I'm sick of the death, the destruction, and having to fear the Rajahs awakening at any moment. Now it's MY turn. Do you remember the fear of the Last War? I'm going to use this to sweep them away. All of the people who make this world suck.
13: As if that position was ever unique. Remember me, captain? Your half-brother? (OOC: Well, it's true, since Jarlot's a Child of Khyber.) The one who tried this very same stunt multiple times?

Thanatos tries to swat 13, but being a Non-existant entity 13 cannot be harmed by someone with that much power.

13: Hate to break it to you, but the world sucks no matter what anyone does. Systems of government suck. Religion sucks. People's personalities suck. You can change them how you want, but in they end there is always something that sucks. Get rid of all those things that you fear. The world will still suck because you control it.

Thanatos: Annoying little insect! What do I care? I'm in this for myself.

Bunny: Well, that's a step in the right direction. Could have been one of those "I'm doing this to help people, really, even if I have to force them to thank me" types.

13: You're just lucky, Captain.

Thanatos: Oh, and why's that? Ha! I have ultimate power! Your little tricks won't harm me.

13: Okay, you're lucky in two ways:
1: I'm Non-existant, so I can't do anything to stop you.
2: Since you've beaten Ariajni, the future Lady and Thyrs came from is gone and so are they.

Thanatos: And what could that follish-hatted girl do to ME? ALL POWERFUL THANATOS!

13: I'm confused for a second: does this stupidity just represent Jarlot's natural idiocy, or is this a manefestation of Word Being's "more power, more dumb" rule?

Bunny: Probably just a general villain thing.

13: Anyway, Captain, I wasn't talking about Lady. I was talking about Thyrs. Being a me that could fight you, it would have beaten you no matter how injured.

Thanatos: Okay, wait, I'm really not getting you.

13: *sigh* You're a Child of Khyber. I'm a Child of Khyber and Siberys. I've got all your power plus an extra progenitor dragon thrown in the mix. Heck, if I asked I could probably get my sister Eberron on my side.

Thanatos dimisses 13 with a wave.

13: Now this Thyrs (points to itself) may not be able to stop you.

Storm clouds begin to swirl together overhead. Rain pours down, by its very existance almost forming a sea in the air. A shape, formed in the raindrops, emerges from the clouds, it's head a canine outline formed of water. It issues a roar like the crash of waves.

13 (gesturing upwards): But I know of at least one other.

OOC: This is Thyrs from Caralot's dimension. Please, run with this. It makes sense.
Crystalforged

07-03-06, 11:37 AM		Hm, just checking that I'm remebering everything here. We've got Jarlot about to take over/destroy the world. Meanwhile Satnak, finally gone through that transformation coming from one direction, the hordes of Xoriat, lead by Kanatash is coming from another, and Thrys is closing from a third.

Where's the popcorn? This looks like it's going to be one hell of a beatdown.
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-03-06, 12:29 PM		Sa'vor looked at the battle that was about to take place, how could he have been so stupid? how could he have fallen into ways he was sworen to stop? he frowned, a faliure or a mistake was a lesson in itself. Sa'vor glanced at the power Jarlot was amassing, did Sa'vor ever want to reach that level of power? no, he had no right to be a god, like this world had no right to be under the influence of the gods. how much had being on this ship changed Sa'vor? was he becoming less cunning? or perhaps was the random violence of his past becoming more focused? perhaps the function of the forgotten freedom was to provide him with a background where he wasnt always right, where people could question him.
so many questions, as Sa'vor looked into the future all he saw was blur, it was undecided. Sa'vor shrugged, no answers there. did he want to die? no. he didnot want to gain the retrebution he deserved, he glanced in slips direction. there where so many things he hadnt done... so much to do and see. Sa'vor materialised a mind blade, if Jarlot wanted the world he would have to step through Sa'vor, yes, Jarlot could crush him like an insect, but that didnt matter, all the mattered was that he tried.

Sa'vor glanced at Feal-Thas, Naz'roth and Tara. they all nodded and drew or formed their weapons. Sa'vor closed his eyes, he reached within himself. he found that calm, he saw the rageing emtions and stilled them, he bent them to his will. there was no time for emotions now, there was plenty of time for that in the after life. Sa'vor reached into the time stream, his peromition senses turned on, and an image flashed before his eyes.
within this image was a great chasm, in the chasm lay the souls of those absorbed into the Ebon flame, into which he was falling. now he began to understand. he would die here if Jarlot wasnt stopped, and he would be absorbed. with the absorbestion he saw the souls of his friends, his allies. even the people he hated with a passion didnt desrve this, Sa'vor did, but not them. Sa'vor placed Soulharrow in a pouch, in his dying day he would settle this as a warrior. his mind blade formed into a his ancestal weapon, he felt the call of his ancestor once more. Thalanthalas Xithalas, Dragonslayer, now Thanatos was the dragons. his enemy was the enemy. Thanatos was kin, he was a brother in dragonhood and he would die.
rampant

07-03-06, 12:38 PM		Satnak - Bloody mol it hurts... I'm back... You guys have some s'plainin to do. :mad:

Ariajni - That- hack wheeze- bastard jarlot stole my pillar.

Satnak - Did i say you could speak?

Ariajni gets dropkicked into thanatos.

Satnak - OK ugly your up who are you and where is Jarlot.
Endless_Helix

07-03-06, 01:52 PM		@ Erk's Place:
Doog: OKAY, SPORTS FANS! 10 to 1 against Thanatos! 7 to 1 Terra bares her boobies! 15 to 7 Jaela's skirt flips at least once!

Michael: Damn! This "divin-o-vision" thing is kick *****! I toast you Allen!

Allen: You'd make me blush if I had blood. Perhaps... I can remedy that... Here, shirty, shirty, shirty...

The camera pans out and you see many of the lesser crew sitting at the bar surrounding a large scrying mirror keyed to the fight with Thanatos. Doog is taking bets as to who will win and Michael is the commentator on just about everything. Allen is sucking the life out of an unfortunate redshirt. Devon is scribbling something in his little black book.

World Being: As long as they continue drinking at this rate, I don't care what they do.

Ajihazi: But gambling is imoral...

World Being: Yeah, whatever... Drinking was considered imoral for a while there, too...

Ajihazi: Hmmmp...
---
In the remnants of the Impenetrable Dome-
John: And see, now you are ready to be enlightened...

Ariajni-Clone: And thus it is a fortuitous da- KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Bits of Ariajni-Clone rain from the sky as he was consumed in an explosion of purity.

John: What have I done? I have destroyed a creature's attempt at enlightenment in this life time. I must meditate.
---

Thanatos: [SIZE=3]FOOLS! All your base are belong to me! TO ME!

Bunny Lessee here... the sound effect here is "POOF"!

The combatants pause.

Terra: Ummm... "POOF"?

Thanatos: Seriously... what are you doing here?

Bunny: I'm filling in for the SFXbeest. Can you get on with it? You've got thirty more pages of script to go. Oh, fizzlesticks, he's late.

A puff of smoke appears in the center of the combat. Devon and Ajihazi step out of it.

Ajihazi: You will cease and desist fighting.

The Combatants: What?! WHY?

Ajihazi: People are gambling on the outcome of your fight. Gambling *wiggles his eye brows* is imoral.

Thanatos blasts Ajihazi into the wall, leaving him unconcious.

Thanatos: That explains him, now what about you?

Devon: I wrote a poem! A good poem! And I'm going to read it to you! And I'll get laid by Silence if I kill!

Terra: Oh GODS! *Stuffs fingers in ears*

You see reality warp around Devon as the impossibility of him reading the good poem begins to destroy everything around him. Everything begins to distort and warp...


I'll let you finish it up.
Crystalforged

07-03-06, 01:58 PM		Satnak - Bloody mol it hurts... I'm back... You guys have some s'plainin to do. :mad:

Ariajni - That- hack wheeze- bastard jarlot stole my pillar.

Satnak - Did i say you could speak?

Ariajni gets dropkicked into thanatos.

Satnak - OK ugly your up who are you and where is Jarlot.
Kanatash: At some point the Entities acutally decided to finalize Jarlot's backstory. They decided he was actually the child of Kyber.

Satnak: How did that happen?

Kanatash: Don't ask me to explain it, even I can't figure out THAT little tryst. Especially considering by all the accounts I know Kyber was MALE and we've met Jarlot's FATHER.

Satnak: You don't think that could mean Jarlot Sr. is really...

Kanatash: Sweet Xoriat I hope not. We have enough problems already. Anyway it seems Ariajni tried to set up an evil version of the silver flame that would allow him to channel the full power of Kyber. Unfortunately Jarlot got to it first and took it over as a child of Kyber. Now he's planning to concure/destroy Eberron. Oh, he went all mellodramatic too and decided to rename himself, "Thantos."

Satnak: Drama Queen.

Kanatash: I know.

Satnak: So what now?

Kanatash: Well, we need to stop Jarlot somehow of course. Killing is optional, its the stopping thats important. Stripping that new power from him seems like a good start and reasealing Kyber in the process would be nice.

Satnak: What assets do we have?

Kanatash: 13 just gated in an alternate version of himself from Caralot's dimension, I have the legions of Xoriat behind me along with whatevers left of the mutant pokemon army, any of the crew that's still standing, and you.

Satnak: Out of all those people does anyone have a plan?

Kanatash: Nary a one, unless you count, "hit it until it stops moving" or "die valorously in battle."
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-03-06, 04:07 PM		World Being:
OOC: Just so people don't get confused, Word Being is Erk unless he's doing something very important. In this instance he's probably supposed to be Erk.
Kanatash: Don't ask me to explain it, even I can't figure out THAT little tryst. Especially considering by all the accounts I know Kyber was MALE and we've met Jarlot's FATHER.
13: Ah, I can help there: Progenitor dragons have no gender. Look at me, can you tell if I even have one? I don't. I am neither male nor female. I refer to Khyber as my mother because it is a convenient word to describe the relationship. We have massive creation power, we don't really need to use your silly "sexual intercourse" to create offspring, even with mortals.

Satnak: Whew! That cleared a load out of my mind.

13: Of course, this is Khyber we're talking about. Could be even worse.

Satnak: Like…… :eek: Aw :censored:!

13: My advice is not to think too much about it.
Charles Phipps

07-03-06, 06:53 PM		Captain Jarlot Senior: Actually, there's a funny story about that.

Kanatash: I shudder to ask....

Captain Jarlot Senior: Well sadly, my equipment stopped working when I was attacked by a Bullete one day and...

Kanatash: GAH!

Captain Jarlot Senior: blah blah blah dirty and needlessly graphic details blah blah blah blah....and I decided to adopt a child.

Kanatash: Uh huh.

Captain Jarlot Senior: So I decided to adopt a child that was the child of King Kaius and a Seren barbarian woman. Little realizing that this had been the product of a 10,000 year old breeding program to create circumstances to produce an offspring of Khyber and the physical world.

Kanatash: I hate RPG physics...

Captain Jarlot Senior: And that's the Post-Crisis Jarlot origin.

Kanatash: Well in any case, its not going to be long until Jarlot is destroyed. So it's not really a problem.

Captain Jarlot Senior: I'm afraid you made a rather dramatic error there Kanatash.

Kanatash: How so?

Captain Jarlot Senior: You sent MULTIPLE Daelkyr and monsters to attack Jarlot.

Kanatash: ...And?

Captain Jarlot Senior: It's an example of the Ninja law.

Ninja Jaela: Hmmmm?

Captain Jarlot Senior: A single ninja is a serious threat to an opponent. However, twelve ninjas are pretty easy to defeat.

Kanatash: I think the Lords of MADNESS are a bit different than people fighting in their pajamas.

*The head of Willy Wonka bounces past them*

Kanatash: GAH!

Captain Jarlot Senior: Well, its possible that law doesn't apply to this situation but its pretty damn clear that Thanatos is beating the living shavit out of them.

Kanatash: Well in any case, even if they lose, we win. The dimensional barriers of Xoriat and Shelvaresh will grow close and the Rajahs bonds will weaken the more that monstrouscity fights. If we can't have the world...no one will.
Charles Phipps

07-03-06, 07:07 PM		Arijani: Terra and Lisa....you two actually think that I'm going to be such easy prey to you?

Terra: That's the idea?

Arijani: *mutters a Heal spell as his flesh starts to heal over the burned bone and flesh* I'm afraid that its not going to be that easy. I'm still a demigod and because of my pact with Khyber, I cannot be slain by any mortal weapon.

Terra: Well then we'll have to just find some IMMORTAL ones.

Arijani: You do resemble your mother you know....dear Gaia was a poor fool. So was her husband.

Lisa: SHUT UP...

Arijani: You really don't GET it do you? The Lords of Dust are not the simpering fools from Xoriat that think that just because they bemoan insanity for a thousand years, that they are somehow the masters of creation. EVERYTHING in your entire lifespan is part of our larger design. Since the dawn of the Demon Wars before we began the Blood War with Xoriat, the Devils and Rajahs have been the architects of the Dragon Prophecy that dominates your existence.

Terra: I don't believe in fate.

Arijani: Then believe in this. When I was still a young Rakashasa, newborn the spawn of my father the Rajah Ravana and avatar of the Fury on my homeworld of Htrae, I came to this world to test my strength and I did it on a small band of adventurers....

*An illusion appeared of Terra's father as she saw his neck in the hands of Arijani and then it SNAPPED with a sickening crack*

Terra: DAMN YOU!

Arijani: I was wounded that day but the vengeance of a Rakashasa doesn't end with the murder of its participants. You fool druids think that it was a natural progression of the Church of the Silver Flame to become the group of intolerant fanatics that it is. Wrong. I spent centuries whispering in the ears of clerics the horrors of lycanthropes and nurtured their fears and bigotries. Of what was different. As one of the Lords of Nightmare I twisted everything they believed in all for the purpose of eventually bringing down fire and wrath onto your village....

Terra: I don't believe you....

Arijani: and how your mother would have been horrified when her daughter was lead down the path of evil. You think you perform a public service by reducing and controlling the wickedness you find. In truth, you just bring order from the chaos that serves our plans as well. Kronzen was ours as well and it was simplicity to arrange your creation.....eventually you will give birth Lisa....and that child I shall sit on a throne of skulls in Thrane.

Lisa: SHUT UP!

*she charged*

*Arijani then electrocutes her with a Lightning Bolt spell that sends her flying backwards and bouncing across the ground as he chuckles and conjures a flaming sword*

Arijani: That child will be born from me forcing myself on her after I've killed you.
rampant

07-03-06, 07:19 PM		Satnak - You know something... Immortality sucks when your life is pain.

Ariajni - You impudent upart mortal.

Satnak - Oh sit down.

Satnak rips off one of Ariajni's legs.

Ariajni - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Satnak - Get LIsa back up. I'll wail on this guy until someone gets an idea about how to deal with tall dark and cliche over there.
urial angel of death

07-03-06, 08:19 PM		Volrath storms over to Arijani.
Volrath: I can abide you killing, soul-sucking, and miaming. You are a demon after all; it's in your nature. I cannot however stand and let you hurt someone I love.
Arijani: What can you do? I've already bested some of those who even you would admit are stronger than you.
Volrath: I can call apon a true god.
Arijani: Oh please. I know who you are. Your father would love for everything you charish to be destroyed in one fel swoop like this. Then he could have his oh so dear son back.
Volrath: Wrong god. *looks up to the heavens* Hastur!
Arijani: You wouldn't dare!
Volrath: Hastur!
Kanatash: Nephew, he was sealed for a reason!
Nalfien: No, don't do it!
Both of them leap at Volrath.
Volrath: Hastur!!!
Just an instant too late, they tackle him as he utters the last syllable.
All clouds clear from the sky. Flying demons crumple into dust. A perfectly clear stary night sky is revealed.
Kanatash and Nalfien: Oh ****!
Out of the nothingness descend numberless byakhee, flapping their bat-like wings. Clutched in their clawed hands are the bloated forms of Hastur's chosen. Also gliding down on their own gigantic membranous wing come no less than twenty of Hastur's spawn. All of these creatures the Forgotten Freedom's crew had already defeated or atleast survived. None of them posed any real threat to Arijani or the ubers, such as Kanatash. What terrified them was the cloaked figure effortlessly descending from the heavens along with these monsters. It was him in all his tattered glory. It was the King in Yellow. It was Hastur.
Charles Phipps

07-03-06, 08:32 PM		*MSTing of this*

Tom Servo: OH holy hell, HASTUR....

Joel: DON'T SAY THE NAMMEEEEEE....

Crow: Is it just me or did we leave watching Forgotten Freedom and suddenly start watching Crisis on Infinite Earths?

Tom Servo: Or Wrestlemania!

Crow: But yeah, Eberron is humped.

Tom Servo: They could always summon Superman Jarlot.

Crow: Or Chuck Norris Jarlot.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-03-06, 08:42 PM		OOC: HOLY CRAP! That is awesome, Charles. Not just the MST reference, but Ariajni is far more of a bastard than I thought. Killing both Terra's families and setting up Lisa's birth.

Oh, and by the way, now that you-know-who is here, HOW THE HELL DO WE GET RID OF HIM!!!
rampant

07-03-06, 08:56 PM		OOc: I'm not sure but somewhere down the line it involves lemon pine-sol and kittens.
Phantomcrossing

07-03-06, 09:22 PM		(OOC: ****, the yellow king, I loved the adventure in Dungeon where they used him)

The half Giant Cooky remains in the shadows, observing beings of supreme power about to fall into conflict...clutched in his hand is a stone slab taken long ago on his sabatical to Xendrik...it is a rune from a giant ruin. This tablet is an activator for an ancient device...he prays to the soverigns he doesn't have to use it...prays that none of this was happening...and realizing...killing a foe is not the way to end this conflict...and the difference between love and an obsession. It was time to stop being such a child and do something worth a damn with his life.

Norbaz: Going to have to blindly turn this on. Not yet...gotta wait for the moment...

Seeing everything and preparing, he had one thing...the activation rune for an eldritch device from the ancient civilizations of the giants. From before the age of the demon kingdom...A powerful device not used for many a millenium. Just waiting...his eyes lit up when he saw Satnak again enterting the fray. A distraction. He dropped beside the knocked out Lisa and rapidly approaching Terra.

Norbaz: Potions of Heal, drink up. Things are about to get really dicey.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-03-06, 09:27 PM		OOC: HOLY CRAP! That is awesome, Charles. Not just the MST reference, but Ariajni is far more of a bastard than I thought. Killing both Terra's families and setting up Lisa's birth.
OOcat: :bored:
Oh, and by the way, now that you-know-who is here, HOW THE HELL DO WE GET RID OF HIM!!!
OOC: Probably by letting whomever has quasi-DM authority get their fill. Or I could do this:
IC: Bunny: And this guy is supposed to be…?

Silver: What's up with the yellow thing, anyway? What, is he expecting Green Lanterns or something?

13: I see you came back.

Silver: I hitched a ride with Thyrs when you called him. Caralot says hi. She also sent back this.

Silver reaches into her jacket and pulls out a small journal. She opens it, and 13 and Bunny crowd around.

Silver: I believe she expected this to be used on Ariajni. As things are, it works to our advantage three-fold.

Bunny: :OMG! I didn't think this thing could exist. You'd think it would spring to life.

13: *motionless squeak*

Bunny: You broke him. The one thing that can break even the mind of Non-existant entity.

Silver: Glad we don't have any parents who can go at it.

Bunny: So are just supposed to show them the pictures…Ariajni—

Silver: Essentially a spawn of Khyber.

Bunny: Jarlot—

Silver: A confirmed spawn of Khyber.

Bunny: :confused: Not going to do anything to Hastur.

Silver: You just have to turn to this page.

Bunny reads the page vvvvveeeeeerrrrrrryyyyyyy sssssssllllllloooooowwwwwllllllyyyyyy.

Bunny: Okay. Now I know it's so much easier being the aspect of death. :P Never have to come up with that stuff. :yuck: This is seriously going to mess with the ship dynamics.

Silver: Speak for yourself. I can't wait to get Hastur into bed.

Bunny: (pause) The really dirty thing about that is you aren't talking about yourself.

OOC: What is The King in Yellow?
Charles Phipps

07-03-06, 09:48 PM		Hastur: Behold my magnificence and despair. I am the Great Old One known as Hastur. On my homeland, I was a wizard but in the ancient times as my people came to slowly appreciate the true absurdity of the universe....I breathed in the entirety of their souls and became the incarnation of everything my race ever was or ever shall be.

Jarlot: *slowly assumes his human like appearance as the five heads of Khyber retreat into his body. He is surrounded by the bodies of dead demons and Daelkyr about him* You act like I should be impressed.

Hastur: All whom understand the Yellow Sign fear it, Pirate.

Jarlot:I gain strength from EVERY life I take and the power of the dead around me has given me even MORE power. I became the equal of a Rajah today and with these dead Daelkyr.....I SHALL BECOME A GOD LIKE NO OTHER! I have no comprehension of the word fear.

Hastur: Then let me teach it to you.

*Hastur and Jarlot begin summoning energy and throwing it at one another in a crackling duel of electricity that flows against one another*

Hastur: You are powerful amongst these insects but lack a perspective of scale. You being able to crush the Daelkyr means only that you are like a mouse to flees....and I am the cat!

Jarlot: Bring it on.

*he pulled out his soul sword even as he used it to reflect the lightning while he continued pouring on his power, slowly moving towards the King in Yellow to engage him in mortal combat*

OOC: The King in Yellow is a Lovecraft monster and second most popular of them after Cthulhu.
Phantomcrossing

07-03-06, 09:55 PM		(OOC: Oh, my bad, I think he was used though in a recent Dungeon Magazine adventure then)
Charles Phipps

07-03-06, 09:56 PM		(OOC: Oh, my bad, I think he was used though in a recent Dungeon Magazine adventure then)

OOC: Lovecraft being Public Domain and there being a D20 Call of Cthulhu game.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-03-06, 11:03 PM		It was all so much to take in the span of a few moments. Terra had always prided herself on choosing her own path, on making her life her own. It was all a lie. Every last bit of it. Even as she watched Satnak dueling with Ariajni, even as Volrath desperately tried to get her attention, even as the love of her life lay unconscious behind her, even as Hastur and Thanatos duked it out, even as Norbaz muttered something to her, she felt nothing. No fear, no anger, not even sadness. What was the point anymore? She no longer knew who she was, what she lived for, or even why she bothered to continue breathing. Everything she had worked for, everything she had accomplished. All a lie.

(the following takes place in Terra's head in the span of like 30 seconds, 'game' time)

???: So you're just giving up?

The voice was so familiar, yet Terra simply couldn't recognize it. It spoke again.

???: This isn't like you, Terra. I didn't raise you to just give in.

Terra: ...Mom?

Gaia: That's better.

Terra: Where are you? Is this a dream? Have I finally snapped?

Gaia laughed in that comforting way Terra had missed so much.

Gaia: None of the above. I knew that your life would bring you great pain, and I could do nothing to stop it. But you can. You are strong beyond what you know. Already, you have begun to unravel the chains of fate he bound you in.

Terra: I...don't understand. I did what he wanted. You are dead because of him, and I practically became his lackey!

Gaia: That was before. What about now? You have felt it, have you not? The darkness that possessed you is slowly giving way to a glorious light.

Terra: What?

Gaia: I never told you what I really was. Now is not the time, but let me fill you in on something. When I found you, it was not only your body, but your soul as well that was broken. I repaired it with a bit of my own.

Terra: You may as well have let me die...

Gaia: Never say that again! Your life has never once been worthless. Yes, you chose evil. Yes, you did as he wanted. But that has changed.

Terra: I have nothing left...

Gaia: Have you forgotten already? You have people who still need you, who still love you. Volrath thinks the world of you. You have taught him so much. If you simply give up, he will never recover. And what of Lisa? She loves you more than life itself. What will happen to her? You heard what Ariajni said. Will you let him do that?

She pauses in thought for a moment. The paralysis that gripped her faded as she felt the cage fate had wrought for her shatter.

Terra: ...No.

At this thought, a burning rage begins building. Her spirit rekindled, a new power flows through her.

Terra: *balling her fists* I promised her I would protect her with my life. He might break my body, fry my mind, shred my soul, but I will never relent! He will not have her!

*in the battle with Satnak*

Ariajni: You have improved since I kicked your ass.

Satnak: :devil: I'm just getting started.

Ariajni: Your resistance is sti-

He is cut off by a blow to the face. It sends him flying into a pillar, his face burned by a wound that refuses to heal. As he looks up he sees an unearthly glow surround Terra, divine and arcane power flowing from her body. Behind her back, the faint outline of one angelic and one devil wing can be seen.

Terra: You have destroyed everything I held dear. You manipulated me, used me, and now that I finally find happyness, you want that too. No more. I am not your plaything, and you will die by my hand.
rampant

07-03-06, 11:10 PM		Satnak - Lets not take any chances this time.

Shhhccriip, Satnak pulls the flesh from The leg she ripped off Ariajni earlier.

Satnak - Beat his brains out with his own thigh bone. I think that should cover the no mortal weapons thing. GRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH HHHHHHHH it hurts.

Terra - What?

Satnak - -wheeze- Take the bone and smash him.
Charles Phipps

07-03-06, 11:24 PM		Hastur: NOTHING YOU CAN THROW AT ME WILL DESTROY ME! I AM BEYOND THE LAWS OF PHYSICS AND TIME!

Jarlot: The will of Eberron, Siberys, and Khyber is that NO gods exist in this land but they....which is why no matter HOW strong you are Hastur....

*he grew closer and closer*

Hastur: It's...not....possible

Jarlot: I AM THE ONLY GOD MANIFEST!

*He throws a dozen +5 blades into the air with various demon slaying abilities as he grabs each to strike at Hastur with before switching as he finishes the fifteenth strike with the full focused power of his divine energy*

Hastur: NO...I'm...

Jarlot: Just an avatar....

*Hastur's yellow cloaked figure over two hundred feet tall then explodes into a dozen pieces*

*Jarlot's smoked and charred body hits the ground beside him*

Ketler: Is he dead?

Kanatash: No, I'm afraid not. Look....

*Hastur's body slowly turns to shadow as it slinks towards the Ebon flame and then the column of fire becomes a mammoth blaze equal to the size of the one in Flamekeep*

*Jarlot rapidly begins healing before their very eyes*

Jarlot: I AM THE END OF TIME!

Ketler: You're history....dad.

*The Mi-Go canon then hits him head onwards as it seems then....to be absorbed into his body*

Kanatash: It's no good. He's developing immunity to most spell power because of his nature and the reduction of damage. As long as he's plugged directly into the flame he can draw on it directly.

Ketler: Jaela's plugged into the Silver Flame and she's not a demigod.

Kanatash: That's because Good is Dumb.

Jarlot: I have shown you far too much mercy. Can you not hear it? The silence? The Ebon Flame is reaching across all hearts of everyone in Eberron now. I've won. The Quori's Obelisks will serve as a channel for my will and all of Sarlona's people obey ME now rather than they. The spirits of the Mourning flow into the flame as it gives me the strength to hold myself in the will of every heart in Khovaire. Argonessan's dragons will flee rather than fight another war. Xen'drick is not even worth discussing. I RULE THE WORLD.

You will now join me...or die.

Jaela: And if I refuse to join you? Will you kill me?

Jarlot: JAella......with Aerith's spirit inside you.

The Silver Flame positively glowed about her as it had placed all of its strength into the pair in hopes of stopping the new Age of Demons.
rampant

07-03-06, 11:37 PM		Satnak - Listen Jarlot you may be a god but your a new one.

Jarlot - Not even you can stop me wench.

Satnak - You have no power.

Jarlot - What madness do you speak? has the pain of your change collapsed your last vestige of logic?

Satnak - Hardly, a diety's power and influence is drawn from belief as evidenced by the number of heretics who maintain their powers.

Jarlot - So what?

Satnak - I don't belive in your power. You did not study, or train, it is not yours. Thus I do not believe it can affect me. You can affect others because you have intimidated them into believing in your power. I refuse to think that you can just steal a little torch and suddenly overshadow my years of blood, sweat, and long nights. I know Jarlot as a drunken idiot, as such you have no power over me. I DENY YOUR GOD HOOD. As for your dark angel...

Satnak blinks out thenre-appears behind the false aerith.

Satnak - I owe Andrea one for Finding that text on Necrocarnum.

Satnak's traceries glow grey as she stabs 2 fingers into the angel's back.

False Aerith - NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Her form melts back to that of an exhausted Andrea.

Satnak - Steady there, Marish get her out of here.

Jarlot - NOOOOO come back

Satnak - Oh no you don't

Jarlot recieved... a kick in the face doo-da-doo.
Charles Phipps

07-03-06, 11:49 PM		Jarlot: Satnak.....there's something you also need to know.

Satnak: What's that?

Jarlot: You're still a slave to your power as well.

Satnak: What?

Jarlot: All those lonely nights, those long and endless quests, the fruitless searches for power and how it must GAUL you that its provided you less than I won by simple birthright. You wield so much power but in the end, it'll bring you nothing.

Satnak: I'm still stronger...

Jarlot: I'll enjoy my power and USE it Satnak. Unlike you whom simply holds to it. People will love me and fear me at once. I'll have friends, lovers, slaves, kingdoms, and the entire universe as my banquet. You want nothing more than more power. THAT is why I will win in the end.

I WANT it more.

*He then blasts at Satnak as he focuses*

And I'll add that power to my own to undo all of your arrogant decrees justified by no other truth than your power. My power is my truth as well...but my truth people will RALLY behind.

Jaela: NO DON'T! You'll destroy the world! Can't you see that this won't do anyone any good!
urial angel of death

07-04-06, 12:10 AM		Volrath: Phase one complete. Hastur has been absorbed into the Ebon Flame.
Nalfien: How does that help us?
Volrath: Hastur now has a spiritual connection to Jarlot. I'm using the obelisks for their original purpose, to bring the realm of dreams back to Eberron. Hastur's *A new avatar and minions appear to be promtly destroyed by Jarlot, but this time taking alittle longer to destroy.* power over reality increases closer to his realm. Eventually he will become powerful enough to wrestle control of the flame from Jarlot. We just have to defend the obelisk.
Nalfien: What will we do with an ultra powerful Hastur.
Volrath: I have my own way of dealing with Hastur. *fingers small purple crystal*
Nalfien: I've got to say it one more time, please.
Volrath: Go ahead.
Nalfien: Hastur!
Hastur is yet again summoned with more special affects. He is yet again killed by Jarlot. This time he managed to do quite a bit of damage before Jarlot killed him and healed.
Nalfien: This is fun!
Gladius_Lucix

07-04-06, 12:41 AM		Ketler: You're history....dad.

*The Mi-Go canon then hits him head onwards as it seems then....to be absorbed into his body*


Liam: This is the Mi-Go Cannon that is also directly linked to the weirdness/insanity of the ship and crew (set to area harvest at the moment). In the case of Eberron, a manifest deity is about as weird as possible. So, as you throw more power at him, it makes him stronger, which makes everything weirder, which amps up the Mi-Go Cannon, which pours more power into Thanatos. This seems like a rather destructive cycle. As far as I know, Jarlot may be the "Spawn of Khyber," but he is most likely still human. There must be a limit on what he can take.

Liam looks up with an idea dawning.

Liam: Take the ship down near the Ebon Flame. If we drop the power receiver currently attached to the Mi-Go Cannon into it, he'll begin being saturated with power.

Ketler: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Liam: Well, I see this going a few ways. One, we do nothing, he destroys/conquers the world. Two, we drop it in, he overloads and goes boom, hopefully surviving as the happy-go-lucky drunk we love to hate. Three, we drop it in, and he can actually contain and use the power, which ends in the same result as the first option, only quicker. Keep the Cannon trained on him. We'll drop it in when we get close.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-04-06, 01:16 AM		OOC: As I understand it, the Ebon Flame is now part of Jarlot as a gauntlet. It no longer stands as a pillar, so, unfortunately, you can't do that. :( Regardless of how cool it would be...

IC:

Ariajni stared at Terra. He had watched her most of her life, manipulating events around her, bending her to his will as she thought herself free. Only moments before, he felt her mind in chaos, her will weak. After what he had shown her, she was ready to just stand there and die. What had happened?

Then, it hit him. That woman! That accursed Angel! Even in death, she still opposed him! She had guarded Terra from him for far too long before he had forged his sword. Theronas had been his plaything. Giving him the ritual had been a stroke of genius, and he played right into his hand in tormenting Jarlot. The fool could never have pulled it off, anyway. Even though he was a spawn of The Shadow, he was still incompetent... But that Angel! How did she still defy him?!

Another crushing blow lands across his face, followed by a divine blast that seared his flesh. Retaliating, he sent her skidding along the ground with gash marks across her face. Before she even stopped sliding, she flipped backwards and came at him again, her wounds regenerating almost instantly. Blow after blow was traded, and he knew he only had to outlast her. Her power could not continue at this pace.

That is when he felt it. Her tentacles wrapped themselves around his arms and dug in their thorns. Struck with one more blast of holy power, he felt as if his insides were desperately trying to leave. She was draining him! This had to stop now! With a quick headbutt, he managed to free himself enough to bury his right claw into her stomach, meaning to rip out her insides.

A sharp pain to his chest, however, drew his attention. A sword covered in holy flame poked through his torso. His gut felt as if it were melting. Lisa had recovered, and now had the sword of Sutekh buried in his back. Meaning to swat her away, he found himself bound tighter as his claw was forcibly removed from Terra's body. As Terra resumed draining him, Lisa reached around and grabbed his jaws in her hand. She pulled them apart, forcing his mouth wider than it was mean't to go, until pain and a sickening rip preceeded his jaw falling limp, only the skin of his chin keeping it attached. Lisa wrapped her arms around him and activated her graft. Ariajni's screams could be heard throughout the battle field. His eyes sunk, his features hollowed, and his strength left him. Unable to drain more, Terra released his spent body. Lisa still held him tight, preventing his escape.

Terra stood in front of him, pulsing with her stolen power as her wound spilled blood. The black energy swirled about her, concealing her more angelic features. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise. If his power could corrupt her, she could be a valuable asset...

But it was not to be. The blackness lifted as her body purified it, making it her own. Holding the bone Satnak had torn from his body, she concentrated his transformed power onto it. It morphed into a sword, positively humming with holy power. Simply looking at it caused him great pain. Nearly helpless, he looked on in horror as she swung at him. Lisa released him, causing him to fall, only to be cloven in two mid way.

The weapon, forged of his own flesh and warped by his own purified power combined with his enemies, shattered his hold on life. As his soul left his body, Terra holds out a sapphire Volrath had given her. His soul is drawn into it and torn to pieces in one last bloodcurdling scream.

Terra: Pact with Khyber or not, demi-god or not, everyone has their limit. Their weakness. If I am to die here, at least I do so in the knowledge that you will never again harm another living thing...

Her power fades as she stands for a moment. Her knees give out and her eyes roll back as she is caught by Lisa. Blood flows from her gaping wound and trickles out the corner of her mouth. Try as she might, Lisa can do little more than stem the torrent of blood as she sobs.

OOC: Sorry Cypher, with everything that happened, it just didn't work out the way you wanted. I just couldn't see a way that Terra would give this victory to another, even if it mean't sparing him eternal torment.
Charles Phipps

07-04-06, 01:52 AM		OOC: The Ebon Flame exists simultaneously in the Gauntlet and a huge burning pyre now since Hastur died. So they can do it.

*Satnak moved for a killing blow against Jarlot before she was blasted by the full force of the Silver Flame and sent spiralling on the ground, Jaela defending her father*

Jarlot: Poor fools. Do you honestly believe I will hesitate to destroy you?

*he lifted the gauntlet and aimed it at the Forgotten Freedom as they raced to the Flame*

Jaela: NO!

Jarlot: GET OUT OF THE WAY.

Jaela: Or what? You'll kill me too!

Jarlot: If it becomes necessary. I've waited my entire life for the chance to achieve my destiny and rule all creation. I'll bring you back if I have to.

Jaela: You won't be able to! For my soul will be with the Silver Flame! The light of all people that won't be snuffed by your hatred!

Jarlot: The world doesn't deserve mercy after what it did to Aerith.

Jaela: The world didn't kill Aerith! Arijani did and now Terra is dying because of him! All this while you're playing god!

Jarlot: I'm not playing.

Jaela: What do you love more....power or your own daughter?

Jarlot: Power.

*he charged his gauntlet to obliterate her and the Forgotten Freedom in one shot*

*Jaela didn't move*

Jarlot: Damn you.

*He cast aside the gauntlet then and embraced his daughter*

*EARTHQUAKE*

Jaela: What's happening?

Jarlot: The power wants to be wielded. That means that it is going back to Mother.....and now going to try and make one last attempt at creating a suitable vessel since Hastur, Arijani, and now me are gone.

*Five Dragon heads emerge from the grond and a mammoth beast is born*

Jarlot: Behold the last living avatar of Khyber......Tiamat.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-04-06, 02:21 AM		OOC: The Ebon Flame exists simultaneously in the Gauntlet and a huge burning pyre now since Hastur died. So they can do it.OOC: Oh, good. Cause that would be one hell of a sight to see.

IC:

Terra's consciousness floats on the border between life and death. A terrible chill grips her as she feels her body going into shock. It lifts for a moment as she hears Gaia's voice again.

Gaia: Well done. I expected no less from you.

Terra: *weakly* Is he...really gone? Is Lisa ok?

Gaia: He's gone for good. Lisa is with you, watching over you.

Terra: Am I...going to...die?

Gaia: That is a possibility. You took a wound that would have killed nearly any mortal on the spot.

Terra: What about Captain Jarlot?

Gaia: The power has left him, but has sought another.

Terra: I...have to help them...they need me...

Gaia: You are in no condition to do anything. It is a miracle in and of itself that you still cling to life.

Terra: But...

Gaia: Your part in this battle is done. You have done all you could, and have rid the world of a horrific evil. If it was even possible, I'm more proud of you now than I have ever been.

Terra: Mother....I miss you so much...

Gaia: I know, dear. I will stay with you a while longer. Right now, you must concentrate on staying alive. Let your friends deal with the rest of the battle, and let Lisa take care of you.

Terra: I feel...something warm...wet...

Gaia: She is crying for you. She want's you to live.

Terra: I will... For her...I will live...

(back in reality)

Lisa's tears turn from fear to relief as she feels Terra's heartbeat strengthen slightly and her breathing regulate. She still needed help urgently, but she might now last till it got there.
rampant

07-04-06, 03:15 AM		Satnak - Finally I can stop holding back. HURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH

Four grey ribbons of crystal slice through the skin of satnak's back, and stream at the five headed beast.

Satnak - NO PATHETIC DIETY CAN OUT FIGHT THE BREAKER PRIME. MY STRENGTH IS MY OWN. YOU WILL NEVER MATCH IT FOR THAT REASON ALONE. ALL YOU HAVE IS FROM THE WORK OF YOUR FOLLOWERS. NEVER YOUR OWN BLOOD AND SWEAT. EVEN NOW YOU OWE YOUR PRESCENCE TO THOSE YOU HAVE MANIPULATED. YOUR SO CONFIDENT IN YOUR DIEFIC PERFECTION, FEEL THE WRATH OF A FLAWED MORTAL AND KNOW THE AGE OF THE GODS IS CLOSING!!!

The ribbons slice through the hide and hide of Tiamat with no idication that its anything other than air. Bone offers little more resistance.

All five dragons spew forth their breath only to watch it chanelled along the interposing ribbons right back at the great beast.

Satnak - I am smarter than you cretin. No matter how much more energy you toss at me my control exceeds yours through many years of Sacrifice. Now let your existance end.
----------------------

Milaji - :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: (in reidran) I'm gonn die, i'm gonna die, I'm gonna die...etc.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-04-06, 07:45 AM		Though Satnak is destroying it avitar, Khyber still exist in another form. In a small demi-plane, untouched by what is happening outside, Khyber meets with 13.

Khyber: I tried, my child. I failed you. I failed to shatter the Prophecy.

13: I don't blame you. I don't blame Siberys.

Khyber: But you do place blame.

13 lets out a long breath.

13: I still blame the mortals, those who so desperately want to know what tomorrow holds. I know why they they desire it, but not why they do not see that it then controls them and grows in power from the consumtion of their life.

Khyber: So it is then hopeless.

13: No.

Khyber: What?? But once the Prophecy took hold there is no way to shatter it! It controls the forces of the world now, the lightening, the frost, the heat, the shadow. It controls the souls of the mortals.

13: Not all of them.

A pool opens up, letting them see through to the battle being waged by the crew of the Forgotten Freedom.

13: Some of them live their own lives. It is true, a few, like Sa'vor, believe in letting their lives be determined. But others, such as Kithle and Terra, act how they wish, and through that small act they weaken the Prophecy.

Khyber: So then one day may it be shattered?

13: That is unknown.
******
There is a collective groan from the spectators in Erk's Place.

Doog: Aw, man! :( (looks over the betting sheet) Okay, who had money on Jarlot giving up the power?

Erk and Igor raise their hands.

Doog: I just have one question: how did you know?

Erk: Jarlot never really wanted power. What he wants is really control. Especially control over what happens to him. It was simply a matter of deducing that Thanatos was a "control destiney" facet Jarlot's, and that Jarlot's core would not allow that.

Doog: Okay, but what about Igor?

Igor: It'th tradithionel.

Doog: Y…your joking me.

Igor: Whenever a child goeth up againtht their powerful evil parent the child alwayth getth their victory condithion. If the child witheth to thave the parent from evil, that ith what happenth.

Doog: Well, at least we still have Terra beating up Ariajni…
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-04-06, 11:54 AM		Sa'vor was finaly beggining to feel the effects of battle, the Adrenalin of battle had receeded. the bruises and cuts began ache, even as his regenerated. the blood lust sank back into the depths, sated once more. he closed his eye's and reached forwards into the future once more. all was as it should be... at least for now. it was then that he caught another image,
somthing dark and shadowy, completly enveloping a single figure. the figure was .... a young girl. this darkness was concuming her, slowly the girl started to move back in time, the darkness receeding untill it was only a small form above one shoulder. then time moved forwards again, the darkness soon enveloping the figure. it went further into the future and the young girl began to twist and change. her skin paled, her eye's became black orbs... like the void. it was then that a voice of silver spoke unto Sa'vor

Voice: this shall not come to pass. be watchful, for soon the time shall come Sa'vor, shall you be free or shall you devote yourself to the prophecy. the prophecy cannot be threatened, renember the girl. when you meet her you shall know what to do.

Sa'vor smiled, so his mistakes where forgiven. he opened his eye's once more, Naz'roth and Tara had left the battlefield and returned to the forgotten freedom. Feal-Thas was sending the troops through the portals. the rest of the crew where slowly wandering back to the ship. Sa'vor proped himself against a rock and withdrew a equisite set of pan-pipes. he began to play softly, it was an old song. like most old songs it held some power. Sa'vor knew there would be little victory meals or drinks today, most where wounded and the thoughts of battle still fresh in their minds.

after many hours of playing, Sa'vor glanced over to the forgotten freedom, it soared once again into the sky. Sa'vor closed his eye's and leaned back against the rock once more, there was plenty of time. he would catch up eventualy.
rampant

07-04-06, 12:36 PM		roosevelt I wonder when he's going to reaalize his feet are pink.

Chalky - given the last time,... 2-3 posts

Geset - *whaps chalky upside the head*

Chalky - OW

Geset - well I better head home, drop us a line once in while would ya?

Chalky - Fine :rolleyes:

Whap.

Chalky - OW

Geset - Bye
urial angel of death

07-04-06, 01:20 PM		Nalfien: Hey if all of the other gods have been defeated doesn't that mean we have no reason to bring the realm of dreams closer?
Volrath: Yeah, by bringing it closer we're just screwing everybody by making the quori closer and Hastur stronger if summoned.
Nalfien: So we destroy the obelisks, and stop saying his name.
Volrath: Okay. Bet I can kill more inspired than you!
Nalfien: You're on!
Kaizer_Ryu

07-04-06, 03:59 PM		Back on the FF, the infirmary has finally begun to calm down. Still unconscious, Terra sleeps soundly. Mickey had managed to patch her up after some rather intensive surgery, and it seemed she would recover fully in time. Lisa sits by her bed, refusing to budge.

Satank: You've been here for the last three hours. Please, you need to sleep.

Lisa: ...

Satnak: How long did you spend tending to the wounded? How long has it been since you've eaten?

Lisa's stomach rumbles, but still she does not respond.

Satnak: Fine, you can stay here. I'll get you a blanket and something to eat. Just promise me you'll at least try to get some rest.

Lisa nods as Satnak walks off. Satnak had reminded her just how tired she was, and she struggled to keep her eyes open. Laying her head on the bed, she falls asleep almost immediately...
cypher_zero

07-04-06, 04:27 PM		OOC: Kaizer posted while I was typing; assume this takes place prior to his post.

Lisa kneels over Terra crying. Terra’s heart was fading again and all Lisa’s healing had been for naught. She feels Terra’s soul move from this realm and screams to the heavens amidst the fallen.

She’d thought it would end. All the suffering, all the misery, all the insanity, all the fighting, she thought it would stop when she and Terra found each other. But the world seemed set against them. The rest of the crew would celebrate the victory; she would only mourn the passing of the only one she’d ever loved.

From nowhere she heard a voice cry out. Somewhere in the back of her mind she recognized Terrek’s deep boom. A moment later he stood beside her looking down at Terra. Lisa looked up as he spoke.

Terrek: (looking down at Terra and speaking softly) You idiot. You knew you couldn’t handle all that power. You won, but your body was never meant to harness that much energy. But maybe…

Terrek’s chains lash forward and grip Terra’s dying form. They draw her body upwards, away from the still crying Lisa, who looks on in anticipation, fear, and anger. Terrek draws Terra’s form upward and clasps her head between his gauntleted hands, leaning his forehead against hers. Black tendrils of energy flow along the chains from Terra’s body and black flames erupt from Terrek’s gauntlets. He opens his eyes and stares into hers as black energy erupts from them. Terrek throws back his head and screams and energy erupts from his mouth.

Terrek staggers backwards folding his massive wings around himself as he sets Terra’s body to the ground. Her body heaves as she begins to cough blood. Lisa rushes over to hold her and feels her heart beat once more. Terra would live.

Terra’s eyes flutter open and she looks at Lisa. The two share a moment of relief before turning to look at Terrek.

He glows with the dark energy for a moment before letting it seep into himself. He stands there for a moment, spreading his wings and flexing his muscles before turning to look at the girls. His gaze drops immediately to Terra and he speaks.

Terrek: You were a fool. I have been training myself for hundreds of years to wield that kind of power. It nearly destroyed you in your lust for revenge. If I hadn’t foreseen that as a possibility it would have consumed you and in the process created something much worse than Ariajni could have ever been. Be grateful for my presence.

Terrek turns to Ariajni’s body. It lies bleeding and broken life would leave it in moments; it was only his iron will that kept it alive after such a brutal punishment.

Terrek’s chains lash out once more, all four striking Ariajni in the chest. Then they ripped his torso asunder, swallowing the last bit of the demi-god’s soul in the process. Ariajni’s body now lay in four pieces; the leg Satnak ripped off, reformed into a blade, the rest of the lower body from where Terra had cleaved him in half, and the two pieces of the upper torso which Terrek had just ripped apart.

Terrek turns back to Terra once more and speaks.

Terrek: Never forget that I saved your life this day. I will expect to be repaid…

With that, Terrek turns away and flies off, leaving the girls alone. Lisa helps Terra to her feet and they begin the long trek back to the ship…
.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 04:46 PM		WHAT THE :censored: WHAT'SWRONG WITH YOU WHY TO YOU AHVE A OBCECION
WHITH JEALA. someone explain pm me a pic come on!!! :OMG!
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 04:49 PM		someone pm me a pic of the shifter to i want to see that to
Kaizer_Ryu

07-04-06, 04:49 PM		Terrek hears a voice in his head as he heads for the ship.

Gaia: You think she did that for revenge?

Terrek: What?

Gaia: Terra is no longer the woman you have been watching for so long. She has a new purpose. She wielded that power in defense of one she loved. That power she now holds is not what nearly killed her.

Terrek: Her life force was so weak...

Gaia: You forget, Ariajni was a Cleric of the Fury as well as a demi-god. That blow he dealt sent her life force into a slow downward spiral. I was unsure of whether she could have stopped it herself, and for saving her, I thank you.

Terrek: Who are you?

Gaia: Ask Terra again after she recovers. For now, accept the fact that I am a part of her. Terra repays her debts, but tread lightly when requesting it. The darkness no longer holds sway over her. Her path is no longer set. She is free.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 04:59 PM		YA'LL CRAZY :looloo:
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 05:02 PM		:whatsthis HELLO?
urial angel of death

07-04-06, 05:28 PM		To warforged_assasin: The Jaela obession is a running joke. I believe it was started by one of the players in Charles Phippe's original group. None of us are really that attatched to her. As far as I know there hasn't even been a picture of Jaela ever made. There isn't a set in stone image of the shifter either. If you really want something close just google image search "catgirl" with or without filters(depending on why you want the pic ;) ).

P.S.- If you plan on posting regularly please work on your grammar and sentence structure. I realize that I am flawed in that department as well, but I'm trying to improve.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 06:04 PM		again y'all crazy :looloo:
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-04-06, 06:51 PM		again y'all crazy :looloo:
OOC: We try.
So hard.
Well……:shifty:……not really.
We just do what we want. :D

And Kaizer_Ryu, I'm writing up the Greyfeline group wedding presents. I'll post as soon as Terra looks better.
rampant

07-04-06, 06:54 PM		OORampant: Thats like saying water is wet. :D

Silver - Agreed

Bunny - Indeed

OORampant - GAH what are you 2 doing here!?!

Silver - Nothing at all.

Bunny - Quite literally.

---------------------------------------

Satnak - Oi terrek a minute.

Terrek - Yes

Satnak - (headlocks Terrek) Let those two have their honey moon before you start calling in favors. That goes double for you people. *GLARES AT POSSTERS*
-------------------------------

OORampant - RUN AWAY!!!
Phantomcrossing

07-04-06, 08:00 PM		Norbaz: Sometimes...sometimes...damn the stuff that happens on this ship straight to khyber.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 08:15 PM		Y'ALL STILL CRAZY!!! :looloo: :looloo: :looloo: :looloo: :looloo: :looloo: :OMG!
Charles Phipps

07-04-06, 08:24 PM		OOC: I believe there is an anime picture of Jaela actually.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/1f/Quess_Paraya.jpg/419px-Quess_Paraya.jpg

But yes, its just a joke about Jaela having an absurdly high charisma.

IC:

Tiamat: Do you honestly think that your sacrifices mean anything Satnak?

Satnak: WHAT!? How...

Tiamat: The physical thing you see before me is not my body. It is merely a projection of how I wish to appear to the world. You are typical of your kind in that you think your struggles matter.

Satnak: They...

Tiamat: I have suffered watching the STARS DIE. I have watched as eons of human generations have lived and died and seen entities I have loved or loathed for millions of years wither away. You are an insect. One I snuff the power of.

Satnak: It's...not....it's an ILLUSION. I have my power.

Tiamat: Jarlot was right. Sacrifice is a source of NOTHING. It is a hollow victory born by those whom want to be martyrs. The real power comes from LOVE, PASSION, FRIENDSHIP, AND HATE! What do you love and hate? Nothing and you are as hollow and empty as anything. I will not even waste my power trying to kill you. I will however SNUFF this planet.

Jarlot: Gentlemen...we are boned.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 08:28 PM		ya'al crazy but i'm demented :evillaugh :schemes:
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 08:29 PM		does she really look like that?? what's up whith you guys and marish?
Charles Phipps

07-04-06, 08:35 PM		does she really look like that?? what's up whith you guys and marish?

1. Unlikely

2. She's the Ship harlot.
cypher_zero

07-04-06, 08:43 PM		Terrek smiles and looks at Satnak.

Terrek: Okay, I’ve got three things to tell you. First, my skull is encased in metal. Second, I’m a masochist, so any pain you inflict on me feels goooood…. Lastly, I’ll call in favors whenever I want. Don’t expect me to be intimidated by you miss breaker. I’m a powerhouse in my own right and fear nothing. But in the interest of maintaining some semblance of order, and cause I’m just a nice guy, I won’t call it in till later. Unless I really need to…

Terrek fades into the shadows, returning to his own plane.

.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-04-06, 09:01 PM		Still sleeping, Terra again calls to Gaia.

Terra: Will you tell me what you really are now?

Gaia: *chuckle* If it will put your mind at ease. Remember, I will only continue as long as you are able. And don't try to fool me, I'll know when that is.

Terra: ...ok.

Gaia: I was sent from Syrania as your guide after you escaped Theronas. We had been watching him for a while, and knew about his deal with Ariajni. We did not know his goal, but Ariajni's interest in you was clear.

Terra: You're an Angel?

Gaia: Using present tense on me is incorrect. I was an Astral Deva.

Terra: But...I'm speaking to you now...

Gaia: I told you. You have part of my soul bound to you. That is the part of me speaking to you now. My true self was destroyed the day he attacked me.

Terra: If that is true, why have you waited till now to speak to me?

Gaia: When I was still alive, there was no need. But when I died, I was virtually sealed off by your darker side. I communicated with you as best I could, but I could never muster more than a nudge.

Terra: You said things had changed. What has allowed you to come out?

Gaia: She is sleeping next to you right now.

Terra: Lisa?

Gaia: Indeed. She has healed you in a way that was impossible for anyone else. Should you have never met her, your demonic heritage would have overwhelmed you as soon as it was released. She was the light that pierced the darkness of your soul.

Terra: What was that power? I felt two forces flowing through me. One was shadow, the other...

Gaia: Was the light I granted you when I found you. Your body holds demonic power, your soul, angelic.

Terra: So, what am I, then? Angel? Demon? Elf? Kalashtar? (OOC: The spirit from Not-Walter)

Gaia: You are all of those, and yet you are none. Most importantly, you are you. No one can ever take that from you. You now have what you always thought you did. Your life is in your own hands. Do with it what you wish...

Terra feels Gaia's presence lessening, but does not want her to leave just yet.

Terra: Please wait! What will happen to you?

Gaia: My true self is gone, and this part of me has been reunited with the rest of you. Eventually, I will be absorbed completely. Your power will only grow as this happens, but all power comes with sacrifice...

Terra: I lose you for the second time...

Gaia: Yes. But you must not cry forever. You have a wonderful wife and true friends. They are your family, and they will look after you now that I cannot.

Terra starts to speak, but Gaia cuts her off.

Gaia: Now you need to rest. It will be some time before I am unable to communicate. We can talk later.

OOC: I figure that all this talk of being back on the FF happens after whatever stops Tiamat is over and done with.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 09:01 PM		i figured that
my DM had jaela on a campane once and don't ask what happend :schemes:
Endless_Helix

07-04-06, 09:03 PM		WHAT THE :censored: WHAT'SWRONG WITH YOU WHY TO YOU AHVE A OBCECION
WHITH JEALA. someone explain pm me a pic come on!!! :OMG!

OOHelix: Well, I don't know about the rest of the posters, but I am going to the first US citizen to marry a fictional character, namely Jaela. This will happen in about four years... assuming eberron's years are roughly 365 days and each day is equal to ours. She was twelve when she was first published, so now she's fourteen. I've bought the engagement rings and the bridal gown, Ketler and Kanatash will be the Justices of the Peace...

What are looking at me like that for?! :P :D
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 09:05 PM		;) :drool:
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 09:07 PM		like i said don't ask what happened bettween argos and her
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 09:09 PM		when the airships a rocken don't come a knoken
Kaizer_Ryu

07-04-06, 09:15 PM		like i said don't ask what happened bettween argos and herWe're not. And you're not going to get us to, either. :rolleyes:
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 09:18 PM		:schemes:
rampant

07-04-06, 09:24 PM		Satnak - Snuff this world and I will walk away. You will wither without mortals to define your existance. Jarlot was right when he said that he enjoyed his power more, he was right about me when he said for all my strength i had little else, but he was wrong about one thing. I want it, I want it more than any of you, thats why I walk my path. True power must be earned, true strength must be forged. Sacrifice means nothing to a creature like you, but to us mortals... our lives are a constant sacrifice. Each moment, each decision is a sacrifice of possibilities. Life is dying slowly. Go away and leave us alone if we are so insignificant let us be. I have sacrificed almost half my life, and accomplished more than you managed in all your long immortality. You do not grow, you do not learn, you can't keep up with mortals. We are meaner than you. Yes you can hurt me, yes you might even be able to kill me. You can't stop me from fighting though.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 09:31 PM		...?
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-04-06, 09:37 PM		Tiamat: Do you honestly think that your sacrifices mean anything Satnak?

Satnak: WHAT!? How...

Tiamat: The physical thing you see before me is not my body. It is merely a projection of how I wish to appear to the world. You are typical of your kind in that you think your struggles matter.

Satnak: They...

Tiamat: I have suffered watching the STARS DIE. I have watched as eons of human generations have lived and died and seen entities I have loved or loathed for millions of years wither away. You are an insect. One I snuff the power of.

Satnak: It's...not....it's an ILLUSION. I have my power.

Tiamat: Jarlot was right. Sacrifice is a source of NOTHING. It is a hollow victory born by those whom want to be martyrs. The real power comes from LOVE, PASSION, FRIENDSHIP, AND HATE! What do you love and hate? Nothing and you are as hollow and empty as anything. I will not even waste my power trying to kill you. I will however SNUFF this planet.

Jarlot: Gentlemen...we are boned.
OOC: Can everyone stop using the word "bone" as a verb?!? (;) :D )
IC: Silver: Shouldn't she, like, spontaneously disintegrate after having spouted off that kind of a cliché villain speech?

Bunny: She's got a point, that's probably why. I mean, what about this:
Satnak - Snuff this world and I will walk away. You will wither without mortals to define your existance. Jarlot was right when he said that he enjoyed his power more, he was right about me when he said for all my strength i had little else, but he was wrong about one thing. I want it, I want it more than any of you, thats why I walk my path. True power must be earned, true strength must be forged. Sacrifice means nothing to a creature like you, but to us mortals... our lives are a constant sacrifice. Each moment, each decision is a sacrifice of possibilities. Life is dying slowly. Go away and leave us alone if we are so insignificant let us be. I have sacrificed almost half my life, and accomplished more than you managed in all your long immortality. You do not grow, you do not learn, you can't keep up with mortals. We are meaner than you. Yes you can hurt me, yes you might even be able to kill me. You can't stop me from fighting though.

Silver: Maybe Tiamat'll ignore someone really weak, and then they'll discover they have a hidden power, brought out by friendship, that can defeat Tiamat in one blow.

13: Okay, that would spontaneously combust around here.

Bunny: From cause of Satnak.

They watch the standoff alongside Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot. At some point Silver looks up into the air.

Silver: Did anyone remember to send Thyrs home?

13: No. Why?

They all look up. Thyrs in still flying overhead in the rain-soaked stormclouds. Tiamat looks up as well.

Tiamat (multiple-head voice): You think that you can defeat me? You, the weak child?

Thyrs dives toward Tiamat.

13 (magnified voice): Thyrs doesn't think. That's one of its good points.

OOC: Let's get this over with so I can give Terra and Lisa their presents.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 09:37 PM		never trust a lycanthrope espesally ME
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 09:44 PM		this is the biggest thread i've seen
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-04-06, 09:46 PM		this is the biggest thread i've seen
OOC: Gonna keep getting bigger quicker if you keep posting these short things.
Phantomcrossing

07-04-06, 10:14 PM		Norbaz: Damn it, work, work!

The half giant struggles to blindly activate the rune slab in his hand...unaware that he had succeeded in activating it until a moment later a series of ruins on the continent of Xendrik, both above and below ground, surged with energies not tapped since the ages long forgotten and showering the continent in glorious light, forming in a sphere of brilliance hundreds of miles into the sky, beyond the atmosphere of the world of Eberron. The light descends to the world and when it dissipates there is a adamantine warforged Tarrasque covered in rune engravings like a circuit board across its form, staring at the image of Tiamat.

Norbaz: Well I wasn't expecting that.

WF Tarrasque Tablet: Awaiting command.

Norbaz: Uh...okay...think of what you say to a freshly made forged....Assit designate Breaker Prime in comfronting designate Khyber. Allow assistance from Crewmembers of Designate Forgotten Freedom. Begin combat.

WF Tarrasque: Discerning Target. Target Avatar acquired...discerning true origin power source, begining attack sequence, objective source power disruption.

The beast faces its head to the ground below and opens its maw wide. From it a powerful ray lances through dirt and stone, before the beast and Satnak phases through the generated debris, until some span of time into the blast that the debris begins bouncing off of Tiamat's hide.

Satnak: Heh, now you're solid...its my time to shine.
warforged_assasin

07-04-06, 10:54 PM		:whatsthis
urial angel of death

07-04-06, 11:05 PM		An image of Volrath appears in Terra's head.

Volrath: Even if Lisa hadn't been there the shadow wouldn't have overcome you.

Terra: Thanks, but I don't think that I would have had the strength alone.

Volrath: You weren't alone Urial, Not-Walter, and I were there for you. We might not have defeated the shadow with light, but we wouldn't have let it take control of you. The shadow would have been consumed by a different darkness, a primal horribly alien darkness. It would have been a darkness from the hearts of those that care for you. We may not be the paragons of virtue, but we'll always be there to help.

Terra: Alright that's nice, but how did you know what Gaia and I were talking about.

Volrath: I'm constantly scanning your mind for anything unusual.

Terra: That's really creepy.

Volrath: Sorry. Well got to get back to killing inspired.

--------
Meanwhile in the ships lowwer decks

Beryl: P/Y/R,what is this place?

P/Y/R: This is the clinic for the rehabilitation of those with strange fetishes. I am trying to help some of this ship's most hopeless cases.

They first walk to a room with has a bed and a blue furry monster standing in it. P/Y/R lifts up the matress to find a plate of chocolate-chip cookies.

P/Y/R: Cookie Monster, what are these doing here?

Cookie Moster: I don't know. Um, um Devon was in here, making the bed. Maybe he stashed 'im here. Maybe it was him.

Cookie monster grabs the plate and shallows all the cookies at once. P/Y/R pushes him down on the bed and pulls out a syringe.

Cookie Monster: Grra, you guys are frickin nazis. You're frickin nazis.

P/Y/R puts the syringe in him. He then calms down and goes to sleep. Next they go to a diferent room. This one has Ketler stapped naked to the floor. Large whirlling blades an inch above his crotch carefully cover his naughty bits.

Ketler: (sweet is pouring down his face) Do you really have to do this?

P/Y/R: Whatever it takes to cure you.

P/Y/R pulls out on of his Jeala mags. Ketler cringes as she opens it to him.
Gladius_Lucix

07-04-06, 11:39 PM		ooc: Missed a lot, so going over what I missed.

As Jarlot takes off the gauntlet, Liam is just about to dump the receiver into the Ebon Flame.

Ketler: Don't do it! He took off the gauntlet?

Liam: What? He did? Good, now we won't need a new Mi-Go Cannon.

Ketler: Um... Crazy Evil Jarlot has been replaced with an even bigger problem.

Liam: What is it?

Ketler: Khyber.

Liam: Oh, just great. Any chance the Mi-Go Cannon will help?

Ketler: Probably not.

Liam: Let's just get the cannon out of here, then.

Ketler: Good idea.

Liam: I think there's probably some betting going on at Erk's. Want to head there?

Ketler: You're just full of good ideas. Let's go.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-05-06, 01:46 AM		Gaia appears in Volrath's mind.

Volrath: Gah! Don't do that!

Gaia: *giggle* Sorry about that. There was just something I wanted to tell you.

Volrath: Um...ok...

Gaia: Though most of what you said is true, she was closer than you think to the brink of destruction. You remember how badly she hurt you...

Volrath: She couldn't help it. Her father made her do that.

Gaia: Yes, he did. But it was Lisa who began lifting the darkness from her. Had that not happened, regardless of your intentions, Terra would not have survived intact. She likely would have not only done what she did to you of her own accord, but you would be very dead and gone.

Volrath: But...I can't die...

Gaia: Not by normal means...

Volrath: :thinks: :eek: She wouldn't have...!

Gaia: Yes, she would. That is the true nature of the darkness that nearly consumed her. But you needn't worry about that anymore. Next time you see her, take a good look at her. You'll see what I'm talking about.

OOC: I have something in mind for this, urial, so please don't post the continuation once they get back.
Charles Phipps

07-05-06, 01:52 AM		Khyber: I think that its time to bring an end to this....

Jarlot: Yes.

Khyber: You were always a failure in my eyes Jarlot.

*Jarlot grabs the Mi-Go canon and aims it at the obelisk's cluster, stuffing the Gauntlet in the power source*

Khyber: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

Jarlot: Veni, Veni, Veni...

Ketler: I came, I came, I came?

Jarlot: Oh sorry, that was the song from my bachelor party.

Ketler: Okay, what just happened?

Jarlot: I set the Mi-Go gun to reverse and them aimed it at the obelisks. Because they were designed to bring the dimension of Khyber closer because of the way Ha...err You Know Who altered them....it started pushing it backwards when it was fired this way. The Gaunlet also had a connection to the Ebon Flame and sucked it dry to push it far away.

Ketler: That makes no logical sense!

Jarlot: Eh, it worked didn't it?

Ketler: Well at least it's over...

*pauses to make sure no other big bads are coming*
rampant

07-05-06, 01:59 AM		Satnak - Next one gets skinned alive then strangled with it.

-----------------

Milaji - she's a scary lady
Charles Phipps

07-05-06, 02:05 AM		Ishmael Junior's Log

Well, I am keeping a running scorecard of what the Forgotten Freedom has done to Eberron since its' come to pass. Here's is an approximate list of everything that it has done since its theft by Jarlot during the Last War....

* Caused the Mourning (seemingly preventing a greater disaster)
* Demolished 3 districts of Sharn
* Bound the Demon imprisoned in the Silver Flame
* Killed the leader of the Lords of Dust
* Destroyed twenty Daelkyr of various makes and sizes
* Killed Has...err The King in Yellow 3 times.
* Drove Cardinal Kronzen insane
* Killed Good King Boranal in a "Random Beer Accident" and appointed his idiot son King Steve
* Destroyed a "King of Madness" with an Atom Splitting Bomb (equivalent to the Lords of Nine of Xoriat)
* Have looted approximately 316 outposts of the Emerald Claw
* Have looted 121 outposts of the Aurrum
* Have kept the Lords of Blades as their demented Butler "Stupid"
* Sank a continent though it seems that it might have been tetonically unstable anyway
* Have humiliated dozens of heads of state.
* Dropped Erandis D'Vol down a volcano.
* Have lost approximately 1016 Redshrits cultivated from rapists, war criminals, and other people who really needed it.
* Killed 216 Quori during a rampage across Dal Quorra and injured the Dreaming Dark itself
* Devastated the ecology of the Demon Wastes and have left it a gigantic hole with storms spewing every minute.

Honestly, its less damage than I expected.

In any case, I'm going off to my date with Marish now. Wish me luck.
warforged_assasin

07-05-06, 02:16 AM		good luck and the crew is demented....let me join
rampant

07-05-06, 02:17 AM		* Looted a small town north of Thranehold, leaving a biscuits and gravy place intact.

* Decimated dinosaur populations through invention of a sport known as Catapult cretaceous.

* Obliterated the Thranish Navy How many times?

* Wiped out a shadow demon and its ancient cult.

* Unleashed untold new species into the ecology.

* Robbed the biggest Kunderak stronghold for everything it was worth.

* Maintained the value of gold as currecy by reducing the amount in circulation.

* Inspired the next generation of war crimes / cruel and unusual punishments.

* Gotten pardoned from more offenses then most mobsters commit.

* Killed several minor dieties/demi-gods

* Saved the time line

* Screwed the time line

* Created the chili

* Mass produced the chibi wand

* You don't want to know.

* Several Counts of illegal planar immigration

* An ever growing list of slander accusations, in particular certain murals

-------------------------

Chalky - Ain't we a bunch of stinkers? :D

--------------------------

Satnak barely manages to stagger to her bed and colapse. Her body is wracked with pain once more, but her exhaustion overpowers the pain and sleep soon finds the Breaker Prime.

---------------------------

Milaji seeing no other way tries to sneak on board.

Kanatash - Nice try, but no one gets on without an interview.
----------------------------

OOC : see if you guys can do somehing with these

Silver - Lazy

OORampant : GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Bunny - Tou-chy

OOC : WF assasin just post, you don't even need your own character, but if you want one go ahead, or take over someone who doesn't get used much.

Silver - again la-zy

OORampant - Thats it where's my shotgun?

Bunny - That wont work

OORampant : It will if I don't load it.
warforged_assasin

07-05-06, 02:21 AM		how many crewmen died during those escapades 20
Kaizer_Ryu

07-05-06, 02:55 AM		OOC: :heehee rampant

IC: (kind of)

OOKaizer: Good luck with that one Ishmael Jr. Maybe you'll have better luck than the last Redshirt she dated.

Ishmael Jr.: W-what? What do you mean?

OOKaizer: He rubbed Marish the wrong way, literally, and Cuddles ate his spleen. While the poor fool was still alive.

Ishmael Jr.: :eek:

Marish: My little Cuddie-poo can be a bit over protective.

***

Terra finally opens her eyes. Looking about her, she sees Lisa snoozing with her head next to Terra's arm. A blanket is draped over her shoulders, and a covered bowl of soup sits on the table next to her. As she moves, Lisa awakens as well.

Terra: Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

Lisa rubs her eyes for a moment and gets her bearings. When she realizes that Terra is awake, she practically flings herself at her, hugging her tightly.

Terra: Ow, ow, ow, ow! Not so hard! It still hurts!

Lisa: Oh! Sorry... How do you feel?

Terra: Like I just ate three barrels of 20 alarm d'Norbaz. Who boy, that stings.

Lisa: Mickey was able to put you back together once we returned. It's all over. Captain Jarlot is back to himself, and the Ebon Flame is gone.

Terra: That's a relief...

Lisa: You still seem worried.

Terra: I'm just confused as to why my regeneration hasn't kicked in. My body was too weak to use it before, but...

Terra feels a twinge in her gut.

Terra: Oh, this is gonna sting...

A few moments later, after much swearing, Terra's physical wounds are healed. Though everything still hurts like hell...

Mickey: *slurred* Jus' be careful, now. I'll release ya, but only so ya can return to your room. That fight did things to ya that can't be healed by anything but rest.

They head down the hall to their room, Terra still having a bit of trouble standing up as she leans on Lisa.

Terra: Man, he wasn't kidding.

Lisa: It'll go away in time. Until then, let me take care of you.

Terra: I don't want to burden you...

Lisa stops and looks Terra straight in the eye.

Lisa: *sternly* That wasn't a request. I'm taking care of you till you've made a full recovery, and that's that.

Terra saw the look in her eye and understood. As much as she had feared losing Lisa during the battle, Lisa had felt the same way about her. She even had to endure Terra's life being merely a hairs breadth away from getting sucked into the Ebon Flame and lost forever. Smiling softly, she aquieced.

Terra: Ok, ok. You win. I'll be good.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-05-06, 06:50 AM		Jarlot can finally relax, sitting down with his bestest, best freind, Captain Morgan.

Igor: Mathter, I am afraid I have bad newth.

Jarlot: What could possibly be wrong? We just defeated Ariajni, Hastur was a pushover, Tiamat was over so quickly I almost feel sorry for her, and I’m back to my old self. (takes swig from rum bottle) I bet every villain in the campaign setting is revising their plans to avoid us. The Emerald Claw is being pretty quite. The Inspired are sticking to being weird diplomats. Even the Aurum is just acting like a bunch of businessmen.

Igor: That may be, mathter, but we’ve thlipped in the pirate rankingth.

Igor takes out a copy of Buccaneer Bi-monthly and lays it in front of Jarlot. Jarlot turns to the rankings page.

Jarlot: WHAT??!!

Igor: According to the latetht thurvey of Eberronian rethidentth very few managthed to identify thith crew ath pirateth. Even our mortal enemieth think of uth more ath jutht overgrown delinquentth.

Jarlot: Below the Pirates of Penzance?

Igor: Below even the Spongebob pirates.

Jarlot: Quick, Igor, get the senior crew assembled! This is first and foremost a pirate ship, and will not let our honor be impugned!

Igor: Not exthactly piratical, mathter, but a firm thart. Yet thith will take more than a thimple bank robbery. It will require a thwathbuckle of amathing heightth jutht to return to the rankingth. And one of crathzy proporthionth to rithe into the Top 10.

Jarlot: Igor, we’re the Forgotten Freedom. We do crazy without meaning to.
Endless_Helix

07-05-06, 10:42 AM		OOC: Errr... rampant... umm I think Milaji had her heart ripped out. By Satnak. I don't think she'd be walking around much. Well... Actually... Hold that thought...
---
The noises from Kanatash's room are a little more interesting than usual today. You can hear a sort of scratching, like a pen to paper, a strange grunting sound occasionally followed by dripping, and Kanatash going "Mmmhmmm... Interesting...". In the rest of the crew's mind it's a respite from the screaming that often can be heard, eminating from behind that door. Three redshirts try to listen and hear whats going on. They hear an "Excuse me for a moment" from Kanatash, and suddenly the ethereal being of madness himself walks out of the closed door. Kanatash shakes his head and turns all three errant redshirts ethereal and pulls them through the door. Screaming ensues. The crew sighs and gets back to its normal duties.

Sometime later Kanatash dumped three skeletons off the side of the ship.
---
Silence: Alright people let's focus! We, like, totally have a new waitress in Erk's place. Her name's, like, Milaji and she's Sarlonan.

Milaji: Urgruk.

Silence: She's a zombie if you didn't, like, notice.

Random Waitress: So we have to work with her?

Silence: Yep.

Random Waitress: Like actually with her?

Silence: Yep.

Random Waiter: Like actuall in the same room?

Silence: Yep.

Random Waitress: Errg.

Silence: What?

Random Waitress: She smells like someone took rotted fish and rotted flesh and singed them.

Silence: I don't why you're all like, so recalcitrant and stuff. I mean, our chef, like, doesn't exist, our food is our primary security system, and our primary entrance is on the Forgotten Freedom. Oh, and our owner is a subset of the progenator dragon Eberron and doesn't exist. So, you're going to let a little thing like someone's smell get in the way of them being, like a wonderful person.

Milaji: Gurtruk. Shaaplop.

Silence: Oh, and she'll eat your brains if you don't cooperate.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-05-06, 11:00 AM		Silence: I don't why you're all like, so recalcitrant and stuff. I mean, our chef, like, doesn't exist, our food is our primary security system, and our primary entrance is on the Forgotten Freedom. Oh, and our owner is a subset of the progenator dragon Eberron and doesn't exist. So, you're going to let a little thing like someone's smell get in the way of them being, like a wonderful person.
Lucky: Silence, I think you have that wrong. Our chef is a rakshasa, so he exists. Our ownder is Erk, who is minotaur, in conjunction with word being, who has no connection to this dimension whatsoever. Jarlot only rents the door, not the entire space. But you are right about one thing: the food is our primary security system.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-05-06, 11:07 AM		OOC: Errr... rampant... umm I think Milaji had her heart ripped out. By Satnak. I don't think she'd be walking around much.OOKaizer: Actually, Endless_Helix, she did, but Satnak fixed her when she realized Milaji wasn't an enemy, so...

*PUFF OF LOGIC*

Milaji: I'm alive again! Oh, wait, that's not a good thing around here...

Satnak: I thought I told you people that's MY trick!

OOKaizer: Ahhh!!! Run away!!!
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-05-06, 11:26 AM		OOcat: And who's this random waitress?

Random Waitress: Hi! I'll be filling in for Saberiel until she gets back.

OOcat: Erk's Place may not have random waitresses. All waitresses must have a name.

Random Waitress: Why?

OOcat: Because waitresses are never killed. If we're going to keep you around you need to have a name. Even if it's only one word.

Random Waitress: Will that really do any good?

OOcat: Just look at Tony. He had one line as a replacement cook for Norbaz, and now he's a fixture of the bar. You have a name, you make it big. You don't have a name, the crew uses you as cannon fodder, ammunition, shields, experimental components—

Random Waitress: All right, all right. Give me a name.

OOcat: Mendova. You're a female human/half-titan with 10 levels in the Kicka** Barmaid class.

Mendova: Is there such a class?

OOcat: Do we really care?

OOC: No random employees at Erk's Place. Think of it like Cheers: you know all people who work or visit regularly, but you don't have to know the patrons.

Mendova: Oh, no, you did not just pinch me.

OOC: Especially the dead ones.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-05-06, 11:40 AM		OOC: This is inspired by a previous thread that listed PC's most embarrasing deaths. (I don't know if it's still around)

Mendova: Oh, no, you did not just pinch me.
Random Patron: C'mon, honey, you know you like it. *does it again*

Step 1: Improvised Weaponry - beer bottle
Step 2: 3 natural 20's
Step 3: Instant death

Other patrons: :eek:

Mendova: Hmmm. Seems the Barmaid class is proficient in improvised weaponry...
warforged_assasin

07-05-06, 12:03 PM		what 1001+ thread shall we do things you shouldn't do wioth a warforged :ayyyy!:
Chrys

07-05-06, 12:12 PM		OOChrys: Gah I are back... Stupid writers block... So did Lisa ever lvl up any? I'm trying to figure out what lvl I should make her evil Twin Sister and Thrall of Beryl.
warforged_assasin

07-05-06, 12:17 PM		the all gone
Rei32491

07-05-06, 12:19 PM		OOC: This is inspired by a previous thread that listed PC's most embarrasing deaths. (I don't know if it's still around)
OORei: Just to let you know Kaizer, that PC that the barmaid killed was epic. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

In a barren field covered in bodies and broken obliskes, Nalfein sees Volrath sitting on a dead body with his ribbon-sword in its head.

Nalfein: Final count: 5,877.

Volrath: Not bad for a pointy-eared elf. I myself am sitting on 5,878. :P

Nalfein looks at the dead body then throws a fireball at it, making it explode.

Nalfein: 5,878. :P

Volrath: He was already dead!

Nalfein: He was twitching.

Volrath: He was twitching, because he had my sword lodged in his NERVOUS SYSTEM!!! :mad:

Nalfein: :D

OORei: A :cookie: and :twocents: to anyone who gets this reference.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-05-06, 12:33 PM		Mendova: Hmmm. Seems the Barmaid class is proficient in improvised weaponry...
OOC: :rofl: I am going to make that class. :rofl: I AM GOING TO MAKE THAT CLASS! :rofl:
:P No, seriously.
And if you don't think that a barmaid could kill someone that fast, keep in mind that Mendova is a half-titan with wicked Str. :D
warforged_assasin

07-05-06, 12:36 PM		i'll tell my sister about it that might be a good class
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-05-06, 12:52 PM		Sa'vor walks through the country side his hood pulled far over his face, he move's effortlessly through the underbrush even while clad in his armour. his silent footsteps make no sound, he was now on the Valenar border (teleported there) his Bow in hand he scanned the horizon. a scream pierced the air as a corpse fell to the ground in front of him. Sa'vor turned his head up into the sky, above him two airships battled, one a standard pirate ship, the other, the forgotten freedom. Sa'vor grinned, for the past two week's he'd been on vacation. spending his time practising his already impressive combat skills and earning a little extra money here and there, Sa'vor raised a gauntleted hand to the sky's and made an arcane gesture. instantly he appeared on the enemy vessels deck, his Mindblade in the form of a Valenar doublebladed scimitar.

Sa'vor took on a defensive stance, an arrow wistled through the air towards him Sa'vor blocked it easyily, then he struck his blades making fluid motions through the air as they scythed through foes. this deadly dance of destruction was well known to Sa'vor, he smiled as he parried attempted attacks with ease before slaying the attacker in the next strike, the poetry of combat flowed through Sa'vor's soul. very soon all within reach where dead.

Sa'vor lowered his hood. it was good to be back.
Chrys

07-05-06, 02:27 PM		Lead Warden: Status Report! Are have all the New prisoners been turn to stone?

Wizard Warden: I canna doo it! I caane beat her spell resistance.

Lead Warden: Why are you talking like that?

Wizard Warden: * blinks * I don’t know…Anyway None of use can hit HER with any of our spell!

Lead Warden: What about the others …

Wizard Warden: Well every time we try to cast a spell on them… SHE eats the spell! And that’s not the worse of it she is stealing the spells form our own head! And now she wants to talk to you!

Lead Warden :surrender … Right let’s go

The Two wardens walk in to stone ward one to see their jailers huddling in fear at the far end of the Ward. Then they see the Demon Lords… Move all of the stoned prisoners in to one big mound in the center.

Beryl then speaks the words of a Dark speech spell… the stone prisoners Melt in to a mounds of raw and liquid Stone, then they the stone reforms in to large stone throne the faces of all the prisoners decorating the throne. Beryl then sits on the throne in a very lady like fashion.

Beryl: Ah gentlemen, Come here.

Lead Warden: :uh-huh: :mymy: :OMG!

Beryl: Well it seems to me that you dwarfs have failed in your duties, there for I am taking over…

Lead Warden: What! We have never failed!

Beryl: Until to day! You have allowed all of your charges here to come to harm… no not harm you have sent them all to a stony oblivion!

Lead Warden: BUT YOU JUST DID THAT! HOW IS OUR FAULT!

Beryl: You brought me here and then fail to stop me. Now them I will give you one chance to leave…

* About a Week and a half later *

The Throne is now a Tower made for stoned Dwarfs and other people who worked there… The Prisoners that were turned to stone are the only ones that have been harmed.

Beryl sits inside the towers on her throne and stares down at the Head Warden, her army of Demon Lords and spent the lasted week hunting down all the people who refused to bow before her.

Zuggtmoy: Shall I have him tuned to stone as well, My Queen?

Beryl: Hmm, Does he have any spells we don’t know yet?

Zuggtmoy:No mistress, at lest none that my Spores have been able to fine inside his mind. I have yet to search the Gold ward where they made there last stand for any spell books or scrolls.

Beryl: In that case, open a portal to the Dwarfs seat of power. Strip him naked and Scribe this message on his back ‘I am now In power here; if you send more troops or try to take it back in any way I will Infect the same horrors on them and all of you That I did to all those here.’

Zuggtmoy: Yes My Queen. Also In the Gold ward I found a prisoner that might interest you here is are the notes on her.

Beryl: Yes I will later Read it later, Send Juiblex and Demogorgon in to report on there missions.

Juiblex: sloooo shhup blub blub [I have talked with the Lord of Madness Know as Thumper Thane of Fluffy Bunnies in exchange for Zuggtmoy recalling her Fungal demons… he will give us the Khyber shard we Need for our evil plan.

Demogorgon [head one]: Ah Well I have talked to a few of the other demon lords and most agree to swear there loyalties to you.

Demogorgon [head Two]: Before you ask we did Bring Pazuzu with us, Do you want use to Take him to his room and have him starting to summon the Demon Elementals?

Beryl: Yes.

* Later After Beryl has read through the reports *

Beryl: Well this Interesting, Could you bring her here please.

Juiblex: Hurp [Sure]

Juiblex then bring a woman who looks like a thinner and Sickly version of Lisa.

Beryl: So Layla Hope forge…

Layla: I like what you did to the Dwarfs… but I think you should of let the Demons eat out there livers and then healed them and …

Beryl: Yes like that guy who how was chained to the rock that’s more of a devil thing… any way according to these reports you have been here since you where Five… On the Charges of Being the Evil Twin and not being potty trained.

Layla: Yes… But They said I could come back when I could go to the Bathroom by my self! All I want is to be free and see my sister again.

Beryl: Funny you should mention that I was arrest and sent here, try to get Lisa a Wedding gift…

Layla: Wedding… I’ve been here this WHOLE TIME AND SHE IS OFF HAVING FUN!

Beryl: No the way I under stand it she was sent to a nunnery and then Paladin school and then your father… who is a complete and utter bastard sent her to the Pirate Air Ship called the Forgotten Freedom

Layla: Oh… yes he was the one who sent me here and did that other stuff to… I want Revenge! I’ll Do what ever you want and serve you just as well as any of the Demons, if you give me the power to get revenge.

Beryl: Well To be honest, Most of the Crew had enacted revenge for what he did to Lisa… Take My Daughter for instance got a Solar to case him around in a bunny suit…

Layla: Is he dead…

Beryl: No, that would miss the point; If you just kill him you’ll never be gloat. You need to leave them Alive and in fear always looking over there shoulder all way thinking about what they have done… All was know that the only reason they live is because you let them. I could help you terrorize him though.

Layla: YES!

Beryl: Good I’ll start training you right way.
Endless_Helix

07-05-06, 03:24 PM		Lucky: Silence, I think you have that wrong. Our chef is a rakshasa, so he exists. Our owner is Erk, who is minotaur, in conjunction with word being, who has no connection to this dimension whatsoever. Jarlot only rents the door, not the entire space. But you are right about one thing: the food is our primary security system.

OOHelix: I was under the impression that Greyfeline was the primary chef, but I went back and checked, and I was wrong :( ... Also, where else is an entrance to Erk's place? I mean, besides the Forgotten Freedom...
---
Random Waiter: Hey, What about me? I was in that post too...

Mendova: What about you?

Random Waiter: They told me that I'd make it big if I could get a scene in this one; I even had a line!

Mendova: Okay, now honey, why should I care?

Random Waiter: Because I'm your love interest, possibly? Maybe?

Mendova: Umm... No. You look like a sack of potatoes.

Random Waiter: Hmm... Howabouts... I'm secretly a part of the platinum concord of the Aurum and am next in line to take over the world?

Mendova: Ummm... Are you?

Random Waiter: No... :weep:

Mendova: Well, who are you then?

Random Waiter: My real name's Paul... I usually work in my dad's grocery store in Sharn. Some nights I wait tables at local cafes. I always wanted to be an adventurer, but I never really had the big break or anything... and I probably never will. I guess I'm just too pathetic.

Kanatash: Yup.
rampant

07-05-06, 09:26 PM		Kithle - (in vaudeville hat, and carrying cane) and now a little number from the south bronx.

Kithle does a quick tap dance and listens to the crickets when he's done.

Kithle - :P
rampant

07-05-06, 11:13 PM		Kithle - Two hours or Devon starts miming ...badly

Devon - Great I've go this routine I've been working on for the last month!!

KIthle - :eek: What have I done?
Crystalforged

07-06-06, 12:32 AM		OOCrystalforged: Yo, Kanatash.

Kanatash: Yes, oh, creator?

OOCrystalforged: How about we try that again, and this time you lay off the sarcasm.

Kanatash: Let me think about it for a moment... Nah.

OOCrystalforged: Fine, fine. Let me get to the point here. I think you know what I'm here to talk about. I did give you plot sense after all.

Kanatash: Maybe you want to talk about how you never seem to be posting lately and I'm getting less screen time than Kelter gets action?

OOCrystalforged: Ok, one, I've been busy lately. I can't devote my entire life to this thread. Two, that is a massive exageration.

Kanatash: Granted, maybe you want to talk about how its been weeks since you've come up with anything really crazy for me to be involved in?

OOCrystalforged: Like I already said, I've been busy, lay off me. Also it's not like coming up with that stuff is easy anyways.

Kanatash: Then perhaps you wanted to-

OOCrystalforged: Ok, I'm going to cut you off right there before you can go off on another tangent. I'm here to talk about the gun, the DM-Breaker 1.0 I believe you call it.

Kanatash: GUN, WHAT GUN?

Ominous rumbling in the background

OOCrystalforged: Bit of advice, if you want to sound innocent, I would lay off the caps, the colored letters, and stick to times new roman. The ominous rumbling was good though.

Kanatash: Hey, you're the one typing this, remember?

OOCrystalforged: Touché.

Kanatash: :D

OOCrystalforged: Fine, enjoy your little victory. I'm going to blunt about this. I want you to turn the DM-Breaker over to me, now.

Kanatash: (cluching the weapon to his chest) NO! Not my baby!

OOCrystalforged: Look, Kanatash, I know you're not good at it, but try to be reasonable here. If you keep using that thing sooner or later you're going to **** off one of the other entities and then THEY'RE going to take it away. Oh, and if precedence tells me anything they're going to make the process a lot less pleasant than I will.

Kanatash: I don't think you understand what this thing means to me. You created me as a being that comprehended the incomprehensible, that could do the impossible, that was not limited by reality or what is technically possible for that matter. It is my nature to defy limits but there is one thing left that limits me, namely what you can imagine. This weapon is the only thing that lets me escape that final limit to what I am.

OOCrystalforged: Stirring speach, but I still can't let you run around with a weapon that you can turn on your creators.

Kanatash: You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

OOCrystalforged: Fine then, I didn't want to do this but you forced me...

Just as the entity moves to act Kanatash fires the DM-Breaker.

OOCrystalforged: (groan) Oh, not again... (collapses on the floor)

Kanatash: Hm, what now? (glancing at the entity's unconscious form) Well I allways wondered what went on in his mind...

Kanatash smile's evilly as his incorpereal form disipears into the entity's head.



TO BE CONTINUED. DUN-DUN-DUUUN
Kaizer_Ryu

07-06-06, 02:04 AM		During her recovery, Terra had come to a decision. She prepares to leave for a bit after talking it over with Lisa.

Lisa: You're serious about this? Your not just doing this because of me?

Terra: It's something I have to do. Ever since I found out what it's true purpose was, it has lost all meaning.

Lisa: How long will you be?

Terra: An hour or two at most. I'm just getting the ball rolling. It took years to get in, it'll take years to get out.

Lisa: Just be careful.

Terra: Don't worry, hon. They have no idea what I intend to do. We can finish packing when I get back.

Terra gives her a soft kiss before stepping back.

Terra: Love you. *warps out*

***

Terra stands before a familiar plant creature.

Terra: Well, my little one, it's time. I'm trying to make a fresh start of things, so I figure I should give you the same chance.

Genevive sits still as Terra places her hand on its 'head'. A soft glow surrounds it and it begins to shrink. Eventually, only a seed remains. Picking it up, Terra heads back, carrying several bags of holding. Within are the bulk of her information network's collected knowledge.

Terra: (i.h.h.) Now I just need to figure out how to end my tenure without causing chaos. Easier said than done... My operatives deserve an explaination as well. So much left to do, but it can wait.

OOC: Ok, she's up and about. They'll be leaving by tomorrow night and won't be back for at least a week our time. I'll be detailing some of their adventures during that time. I hope you enjoy it.

And Chrys, I'll be upgrading Lisa's levels once they get back.
Charles Phipps

07-06-06, 02:50 AM		Jarlot: Well, all's well that ends well.

Ketler: You call transforming the Demon Wastes into a jungle, splitting Aerenal in half, and causing ghosts to run amock across Khovaire to be WELL?

Jarlot: Better them than us.

Ketler: Fair enough.

Jarlot: In any case, Arijani won't be reincarnating any time soon. Even if he did, he'd be just a newborn Rakashasa.

Ketler: I suppose we can thank the universe for small miracles. What about Khyber?

Jarlot: That wasn't Khyber but just one of her avatars. If Tia'mat had really been released then the planet would have been truly boned. She was still entering the world when we released it...otherwise we would have been ended.

Ketler: But what do we do about the fact that half the crew is dead...AGAIN?

Jarlot: We're on the reserves list now.

Ketler: The what now?

Jarlot: It's a massive list of adventurers spread across the world. In any case, we picked up one of the reserves right now by raiding that Thranish galleon.

*A woman identical to Lisa walks onboard in chains*

Ketler: Who the hell....

Jarlot: Ketler, meet Linda. This is Lisa's identical twin sister and the other heir to the throne. She's a paladin of Dol Arrah but a militant and hateful variant of the sect. She's lost her connection to her god and desperate to recover it...specifically because she butchered an entire legion of Eldeen Reaches druids.

Ketler: Why?

Jarlot: They captured her and did unspeakable things to her. The hatred that dwells in her heart is especially pointed towards her sister though due to the fact that Lisa was expected to join her in the war against the monsters of Droam when she got a bit sidetracked by us.

Ketler: Wow....this is going to destroy Lisa.

Jarlot: It gets better. Michaels never been one to get off on the suffering of others...why he was a craptacular Blackguard but he was the one who destroyed her unit. He just handed her over for the bag of gold they promised him.

Ketler: That would explain the look of mind numbing fury on her face at us.

Jarlot: Andrea has bound her in every geas and quest spell known to man but she wants us all dead. AND SHE'S THE FIRST OF THE NEW CREW!

Ketler: Oh boy.

***

Andrea: I'm your only friend here Linda.

Linda: I HAVE NO FRIENDS! NOT THE LEAST A NECROMANCER!

Andrea: I cannot describe to you what it was like to have my soul bonded with that THING. The attempt to make me, someone whom honestly did love the man Jarlot was, into a cheap copy of Aerith. I will have my revenge on him for it and I will break him for it.

Linda: I'm...listening.

Andrea: Michael is being tormented with dreams I've asked the Quori to send. He's been a shadow of his former self since he lost the blackguard's certainty anyway. His guilt will allow you to manipulate him. Use him as a weapon against Lisa and Terra.

Linda: Yes.

***

Linda Human Female LN 9th level Fallen Paladin
Kaizer_Ryu

07-06-06, 03:21 AM		OOC: Oh, for the love of...STOP TRYING TO DELAY THEM! :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes:

PLEASE don't do anything with this till later. If they stay any longer, it may just drive me sane. And that is not a good thing, believe me.
Charles Phipps

07-06-06, 03:26 AM		OOC: Oh, for the love of...STOP TRYING TO DELAY THEM! :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes:

PLEASE don't do anything with this till later. If they stay any longer, it may just drive me sane. And that is not a good thing, believe me.

Okay, certainly, actually I have a bit of trouble with the fact that everyone seems to operate in real time.

This could be weeks later y'know.

;-)

But great plot huh?
Kaizer_Ryu

07-06-06, 03:46 AM		I agree it has a lot of potential, and I'm looking forward to how it pans out, though I wonder how Lisa will react when she finds out she has TWO evil twins. She goes from being and only child to being the only good one out of three in less than a page.

I just didn't want any more delays. I'm going to wait for SilvercatMoonpaw to do the Greyfeline gifts, then they're gone.
rampant

07-06-06, 04:02 AM		Satnak - Hey Lisa If you stop by my realm while your out plane hopping, this will get you into my place.

Hands lisa a steel key while sidestepping between her and the hallway linda is using.

Lisa - Thanks, but its not on the iternerary.

Satnak steers Lisa down another corridor.

Satnak - Just a precaution, when a new connection gets rolling it can screw with travel for a while.

Linda passes by without noticing her sister, and vise versa.

Lisa - ok :confused:

-------------------

OOC : Use it or not, just something I thought I'd toss out there.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-06-06, 06:49 AM		Finally free for the first time since the wedding, Terra and Lisa get down to opening the rest of the wedding presents. At last they get to the Greyfeline group.

Lisa (sarcastically nervous): Maybe we should just save them till after the honeymoon.

Terra: Come on, not all of them are bad. Even the ones that mess with people aren’t killer. Look, here’s one from Igor.

Terra opens the package, and draws out a nightrobe of white silk that appears quite dull. But Terra issues a low whistle.

Terra: Vampire’s Victim.

Lisa: What?

Terra: Igor’s clothing line.

Lisa: Igor has a clothing line?

Terra: “For thothe timeth when the young lady you have invited in hath nothing thuitable to wear.” He originally intended to sell it just to vampires, but once I saw one I persuaded him to sell on the open market. These, though, were definitely made by the master himself.

Lisa: Ah…that’s nice…but they don’t look—

With a snap of her fingers Terra turned out the everbright lantern, and then produced a small flickering fire. The dress almost seemed to glow in some places, yet in others the folds were highlight by deep shadows.

Lisa: *drool*

Terra (turning the lantern back on): It’s meant for dark castles and moonlit balconies.

Lisa: But…why is there only one? :confused:

Terra: Oh, you never need more than one of these. :devil:

Lisa: :blush:

The next was Roosevelt’s present. Unfortunately this turned out to be a crude wood carving inscribed with various geometric shapes that corresponded to those found on architectural diagrams. Terra ventured that it was a bear holding a big hammer, but neither was sure.

Next came Lucky’s.

Terra: “An Insider’s Guide to :dancin: :pile: :w00t: :cloud9: Between Women.” by Lucky d’Medani. Well, it’s the thought that counts.

Lisa: Well look at this one from Saberiel.

Lisa held out the paper for Terra to read. Terra had to read it twice to be sure it wasn’t a trick.

Terra: “I, Saberiel, being of sound mind (as sound as you can get on this ship, anyway) do hereby state that any time Lisa and Terra ask me to baby-sit I shall not deny them.” Even notarized by Reman Weascal.

Lisa bit her lip. Then she snatched the paper from Terra’s hands and quickly stuffed it inside one of her ornate scabbards that hung along the wall of their quarters.

Terra: What?

Lisa: After Aerith…do you really think…?

Terra looked at Lisa, then at the scabbard, then back at Lisa.

Terra: *sigh* Okay. Until we can be sure.

They moved on without another word on the subject.

Lisa: What was that warning Crow gave us? “Don’t open Silver’s present unless you think your life can’t get any worse.”?

Terra: “And even then, don’t open it.”

Lisa: Right. (puts Silver’s present safely away in a magical chest)

Terra: Then I suppose we might as well open Crow’s present.

Lisa: Crow, who’s now Bunny.

Terra: He said not to think too hard about it.

Terra open the small box, and a mechanical bird flies out. It is about the size, shape, and coloration of a small parrot. It lands on Terra’s shoulder and begins speaking in a genuine fake pirate-parrot accent.

Parrot: Arrrr me mateys, I be the Narrative Element Explanation Bird. If ye find yerselves in need o’ explanin’ of an odd event and there be no Non-existant Entities around, I can assist ye. *parrot whistle*

Terra: Wow. :mymy: You’re actually less creepy than I would have thought Crow had in him.

Lisa: What were you expecting?

Terra: Something with a bone theme. So it could be worse.

Parrot: Arrr, it be worse, lassy. My name be terrible t’ hear.

Terra: Can’t be all that bad.

Parrot: I was dubbed by Greyfeline itself.

Lisa: He seems like a nice enough guy.

Parrot: We are talkin’ about the thing that created Silver and Bunny?

Lisa and Terra: :blink: Good point.

Terra’s eye is then caught by a wooden box, taller than it is wide or long. She reads the tag.

Terra: This is Caralot’s……so it’s probably going to involve very weird things.

Lisa: Dangerous?

Terra: Caralot smart enough not to give us anything I can’t handle. I’m more worried that it’s something……appropriate to her unique sense of the world.

Lisa: I guess we won’t know until we open it.

Terra steps back and opens the box using a tentacle.

Inside is an immobile squirrel, sitting upright. Terra drew it out of the box. Lisa let out a giggle. Then she noticed the piece of paper inside the box. She took it out and read it.

Lisa: “I’m not too familiar with weddings, so I asked Silver what was a traditional gift. She said ‘A waffle-iron’. It’s apparently a non-magical device used to make waffles. I think its silly that anyone would want something that can only make one kind of food. So I whipped up this little guy. I’m not sure if he’s a plant or a construct, so be careful. All you have to do is command him to awaken and then tell him what you want. He can only do breakfast foods right now. I made him in the shape of a squirrel because after you’ve had an exhausting night I figure you’ll want to give a breakfast order to something cute. :D”

Terra: Huh. :blink: Well, I admit I was wrong. Apparently Caralot can make things that aren’t freaky and destructive.

Next Lisa picked up a crude bag made from sail canvas…ironic, because the ship didn’t use sails. There was no card, just a string tying the bag shut, with one dangling end with many knots on it. Terra counted them.

Terra: 13.

She looked at Lisa, who shrugged. They opened the bag.

Inside were two pocket watches, both inscribed on the back with this:
“Look inside to see the time you have spent in love.”

Terra: Who needs to measure. But why iron? The thing’s’ll just rust shut.

Lisa:………Mmmmmaybe that’s the point.

Terra: Hmmm……if we never open them…why would we care if they rust shut.

Lisa: Exactly.

Terra: That’s very cerebral of 13. I guess it’s a better Non-existant Entity than I thought. They seem to do that a lot.

Mr. T’s gift was similarly sentimental: Two half-medallions, when put together read “Ah pidy the foo’ who don’t know love like this.”

Then they opened JJ’s next. Inside was a camera. But when Lisa went to pick it up it began whirring, and soon rose into the air to hover around the two. It somewhat resembled the top part of Jaela’s Batman cowl.

Terra: I feel no shame in saying I’m relived that at least one of these things is weird.

Lisa: I think there’s a card in the box.

There are some times when your hands are too occupied to hold a camera. ;)—JJ

Lisa: :rofl:

Terra: It’s so good to see you catching on.

It was no down to the last two. One was a book, bound the opposite way from most book in Khorvaire (OOC: i.e. our books keep the spine to the left of the title, this one keeps it to the right), tied up with a black mirror using only a simple grass cord. Terra cut the cord and took a closer look at the items. The mirror had a folded card stuck to it which had “for Lisa, only, to see”. The book had a similar card addressed to Terra. Nodding in agreement, they each took their card and item, and read silently.

Terra’s Card: Remember that the more power one has, the greater the temptation to use power to solve problems rather than use thought. I give you this book of puzzles, which cannot be solved with power. Keep them always in mind.—Word Being

Lisa’s Card: You have managed to align your religion with your personal convictions. But religion is a puzzle trapped beyond all others. Therefore I give you a clue: this mirror, which reflects what one most fears. Keep that in mind should you see yourself in it.—Word Being

Both are silent for several minutes as their ponder their gifts.

Finally Terra breaks the silence by slipping her card into the book.

Terra: Well, one to go.

The last gift is merely an envelope, with only a grey cat’s pawprint on the back. Terra opens the envelope and pulls out the card inside. It looks like some kind of slightly large business card, with a picture of a black kitten on the front keeping batting 12 moons of Eberron into the air. Done highly stylized are the word MOONPAW CREATIONS.

Terra: I get the feeling this is from Geryfeline.

She turns it over.

Terra: :OMG!

Lisa: What is it? (stares at the card over Terra’s shoulder.) :OMG!

Card: Good for one free complete demi-world of sphere diameter 1 mile or an equivalent area in an already created world.
Chrys

07-06-06, 10:40 AM		Zuggtmoy: My Queen are you sure this is wise I mean, Remember to the mortals who where in your cult… those chibi things.

Beryl: Well they ****** off OOChrys; you know that crappy writer guy, who thinks he controls us.

Zuggtmoy: Yes but what he did to them was just evil… I mean Selling them to those anime freaks. * shutter * How Do you know the same thing isn’t going to happen to Layla?

OCChrys: Because I like that song, and I think spell thief class in makes for a 'good' person on the ship… and any way your just ****** off because the Thrall of Beryl is a better then the Thrall of Zuggtmoy PRC.

Zuggtmoy: no I’m not.

Beryl: Just shut up, before he decides to put back in the Temple of Elemental Evil.

Zuggtmoy: :shifty: :twitch: :blink: :gah:

Beryl: Now then Let go get this thing Off the ground.
urial angel of death

07-06-06, 02:25 PM		Meanwhile in the rehab clinic.

P/Y/R: Phollie you have to give it up.

Phollie: No underpants are big business.

P/Y/R: People on this ship are going to kill you if you don't stop stealing their underwear. Besides your plan isn't even logical.

Phollie: Yes it is you see collecting underpants is only phase one. Phase one: collect underpants. Phase two: ... Phase three: profit!

P/Y/R: You have to stop. Satnak is bound to find you out eventually and Volrath will eventually catch on that this isn't a game I'm playing with him.

Phollie: I'll try.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-06-06, 02:43 PM		13: Okay, Igor, I'm off to get Caralot.

Igor: Try not to take thith the wrong way, but no one will mith getting to mail. Jarlot ith planning thomething BIG to get thith thip back on the pirate ratingth.

13: No worries. Well, OOcat'll probably make it take until the end of Lisa and Terra's honeymoon.

13 heads deep into the ship, to a door off the colossal magical engine. (of course the ship has an engine. where do you expect the dramatic finalley of a major villain boarding?) This is the door to Erk's Place.

Bunny: Hold up. No need.

13: Hmm?

Bunny: OOcat sent Silver.

13: Why?

Bunny: She knows the way. And so she has no way of poping in on Lisa and Terra.
******
Silver is standing in the middle of a Star Trek convention. People keep thinking she's a Vulcan.

Silver: I hate you so much.

OOcat: :D
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-06-06, 03:21 PM		Sa'vor was keeping an eye on Jarlot, whenever Jarlot decided to recruit new crewmembers otherthan redshirts somthing really bad was going to happen. possibly involving one of Lisa's sisters. the atmosphere on ship had a deffinite plotting feel, Sa'vor tasted the air, yes. revenge was coming, swift and silent. manipulation was going on. it had taken hours to scrub the pink off his feet, Chalky was definitly behind this, Sa'vor smirked, he'd find a way of getting revenge someway. Sa'vor glanced at the recepticle in his hands, the kyber shard hummed slightly at his gaze.... yeessss... a deffinite plan was forming in his head now. of course that would have to wait.
the plotting would have to be resolved first, probably with extreme amounts of violence.

Sa'vor had heard whispers that Michael was experiencing nightmares recently, most of the Scum never told Sa'vor anything so he'd had to "persuade" them. It had taken age's to get the blood of his boots. nightmares amungst the scum wherent uncommon, often what the crew experienced had some psycological side affects. but frequent ones where rare at that, even Ubers expereinced nightmares, though often these carried protence of the future or smatterings of the past. Sa'vor had also experienced nightmares recently. in these there had been shade's of the past, shade's of the years he spent being tourtured on Dal Qour. the hatred of the children that had beaten him when he was young, all these emotions burned within him, getting used to having a soul was difficult.

a question had recently been burning at the back of his mind, what would terrek demand as his repayment. what would Sa'vor have to sacrifice? what service would be asked? and even more prevelant what concequences would this repayment bring? Sa'vor shook his head, the time would come when it would come. Sa'vor would like to know more about the mysterious Terrek with which he was inextricably tied, but Sa'vor knew better than to go seeking answers from another Uber, when the information would reveal itself was somthing only the prophecy would reveal. another problem was the fate of Mia, she had recently dissappeared, probably carted off back to her supiriors with mental trauma. but Sa'vor suspected that Rakashas hand, somthing about her vanishing and quite probable death didnot bode well.
Sa'vor felt a pang of hunger. he ignored it, and reached out with his mind into the minds of those around him, he felt a familiar and reassuring mental signature in the background; slips. Sa'vor moved onwards saccning the minds of many red-shirts, the usualy stuff floated from their weak and perfetic minds; whant for boo's, whant for women, whant for gold. Sa'vor ignored most of these ineffectual and weak thoughts. most of them where unintresting, until he hit a mental barrier. like the shield in which Sa'vor protected his mind. Sa'vor smiled, at last he had a challange.

Sa'vor disappeared into the shadows. time to investigate further.
Rei32491

07-06-06, 04:26 PM		Nalfein walks up to Terra and Lisa carrying a potion, handing it to them.

Nalfein: Here.

Terra: What's this?

Nalfein: My wedding gift. It's a Potion of Youth.

Lisa: You can make those?

Nalfein: Of course. I can switch between 2nd, 3rd, and 3.5 edition rules. These things existed in 2.0.

Terra: Oooook... Thanks.

As they head off, Nalfein relaxes a bit.

Nalfein: You can let go now.

Volrath and Satnak materialize beside him. Volrath's tentacles are wrapped around his head, and Satnak has her hand over his heart. She is mouthing the words "Kah-li-mah, kah-li-mah" (sp?). They both pull away and Volrath hangs his head.

Volrath: Awwwwww...I wanted to hear your neck crack... :weep:
cypher_zero

07-06-06, 04:41 PM		OOC: I’m going to request that we don’t start any new plotlines for the next couple of weeks or so. I’ve got some non-major plot stuff planned and then there’s the honeymoon (btw, don’t forget they said they’d stop by Terrek’s plane. I’ve got some fun stuff planned for that) and I’m sure other people have stuff planned.

IC:
(in Terrek’s lab)
Terrek stumbles out of his portal, leaving the Forgotten Freedom behind, and collapses to the floor of his lab. He lies there for a moment, every muscle tensed in agony, a smile of pleasure on his face. Slowly he gets up slowly using his chains to aid him and walks into his library. His metallic clawed hands grab a chair and he collapses into it and closes his eyes.

(in Terrek’s head)

Ariajni stands stripped bare surrounded by darkness. Black mist swirls up from the blackened ground. It grippes him with it’s cold tendrils sending shivers up his spine. For the first time in a long time he knows he is weak and powerless. All the energies that he once held are long gone. He turns around where he stands swirling more mist about him and gasps, frightened.

Ariajni: Where… Where am I?

Terrek appears as from nowhere parting the mist before him. Black energy swirls around his form giving off a faint light in darkness.

Terrek: Welcome to my mind.

Ariajni whirls around to face him. Then stands upright boldly.
Ariajni: You insolent pest! I should burn you where you stand! Release me from this prison at once and I may let you live.

Terrek throws back his head and laughs. His voice echoes eerily in the gloom as though not one, but a hundred men laughed simultaneously with the same voice.

Terrek: You fool! You are dead! You have no power! I have claimed it as my own. Though I must admit, Terra used the majority of it in slaying you and much was lost in the transfer but still, you are powerless. Do you not feel it?

Terrek paused for a moment and stared at Ariajni as he cowered back. For the first time in nearly a thousand years he spoke with fear reflecting in his voice.

Ariajni: But… if I’m dead, then how am I standing here, talking to you?

Terrek: (laughing) I thought you’d never ask. I consumed your soul. You now exist solely in my mind because I will it so. Be glad that I have not yet sent you to the deeper recesses of my mind where the rest of the devoured go; I’ve been informed that it’s quite unpleasant.

Ariajni: Then why am I here?

Terrek: Because I will it so… and because I’ve a few questions to ask you. If your answers please me, I may think twice about d*mning you to eternal torment.

Ariajni: What do you wish to know?

Terrek: The power I now wield, the power that was formerly yours, feels different than what I sensed. This power is darker, as if some shadow had overtaken it.

Ariajni laughs without amusement.

Ariajni: I remember now. Terra stole my power from me, at least a good portion of it, and used it to slay me. I laid there dying knowing that her form could not contain it, ant that she too would die. If you now hold it, it means that you took it form her. But what you took was not my power, it was Terra’s. To slay me she had to twist my power and make it her own. It joined with the darkness that was placed in her soul so long ago. You took that as well. The darkness that was meant to destroy her will now destroy you!

Terrek's eyes narrowed as Ariajni laughed maniacally. He raised his hand and the black mist swirled back away from Ariajni’s body. He lowered it and the black tendrils of mist tore Ariajni apart. His laughter immediately became screams as the mist swallowed him, d*mning him to eternal hell.

(in Terrek's library)

Terrek sits up in the chair and his eyes open, the image of his mindscape fading. Perhaps Ariajni was right, he thought. Perhaps I have consumed the darkness as well. Terrek smirked thinking, No matter. I’ll twist its power to my ends as well. I am slave to no one and nothing. This “darkness” is nothing more than a slight inconvenience.

Terrek got up and returned to his lab. He had work to do…
.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-06-06, 05:23 PM		OOC: Great gifts, SilvercatMoonpaw. :rofl: Narrative Element Explaination Bird. :rofl:

And now, finally, it's time for them to be on their way.

IC:

Several members of the crew have gathered to see the newlyweds off.

Volrath: :weep: When will you be back?

Terra: Not sure. Plane hopping messes with the time difference, but it shouldn't be too long.

Volrath: :weep: But how long?

Lisa: *sigh* Not very long.

Volrath: :weep: That's too long...

P/Y/R: Don't worry, he won't even notice your gone. I'll see to that. :devil:

Terra & Lisa: *shudder*

Satnak: If you decide to check out my home, say hi to everyone for me.

Terra: Will do. Oh, yes, something to mention to the rest of you. While I'm gone, my lab will be sealed off. There are two keys, and you need both to get in.

Devon: Who has them? :shifty:

Lisa: Kanatash and Satnak. :D

Devon: :eek: :censored: !

Terra: Kithle, I'm leaving you in control of my spy network till I return. They already know, so there shouldn't be any problems.

Kithle: What about the other thing we talked about...?

Lisa: Oh, that's right! We forgot about them.

Terra: They're pretty much ready to go. Some of them still need training, but otherwise it's taken care of.

Kithle: Can I...?

Terra: Knock yourself out.

She opens a portal to a pocket dimension, and Kithle runs in. A moment later, he flies out on an armor clad Giant Demonic Chocobo.

Kithle: Woo hoo!!!!

GDC: WAAAARRRKK OF DOOOOOMMM!!!!

Kanatash: I thought he only wanted flying mounts for the Squirrels...?

Terra: Oh, they've been ready for a while. I made some full size versions for normal troops as well.

At this time, several Squirrels follow Kithle on miniature Chocobos.

Squirrel Commander: Squeaker squeaken!

Squirrel Troops: Squeakity!

Squishy: And yet, this is still not the wierdest send off I've seen.

Admiral Jarlot: Hold up there, girls.

All: Grrroooooooaaaaaannnnnnn...

Admiral Jarlot: Getting married is all well and good, but you need to think about starting a family. ;) I'd be more than willing to help ou-*WHAM*

Jarlot: *wielding a +6 Bat of Idoit Smashing* That should shut him up for a while...

Admiral Jarlot: *on the ground* You hit me! You hit me right in the head! Why did you-

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

Admiral Jarlot: I'm still ok...

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

Admiral Jarlot: *dazedly* Hello Mr. Deck, funny seeing you here...

Jarlot: :fight!: Why won't you die?!

Ketler: I think that's enough, dad.

Jarlot: Grrrrrrr... Someday...someday...

Sakura/Jaela: You two have fun. Don't worry about us and come back whenever you're ready.

Lisa: Thanks. *turns to Terra* I'd say that's our cue, hon.

Terra: Right. We'll see you all later.

Magical light surrounds them and the pair disappear from Eberron.
rampant

07-06-06, 06:00 PM		Satnak - Ok then...

Turns and *glares*

PHolly - IT WASN'T ME

Satnak ignores the little twerp, (for now) and rushes Beryl and Andrea. She picks them up by the neck, 1 in each hand, and slams them into the wall.

Satnak - Andrea I value your intellect and council, don't do something stupid like mess with my friends and make me do something I don't want to, like rip your spine out backwards. Beryl I don't care how good you look in that outfit, step off Lisa and Terra.

Crew - WHAT'S GOING ON??

Andrea and Beryl - *wheeeze* need ... oxygen

Satnak - I can understand the various siblings having a few issues with Lisa and Terra, but you two better have a good damn reason for helping them.

*Drop*

Andrea - oof

Beryl - ow

Andrea - you see...

Beryl - well its like this...

Jeala Jarlot - What was that about Beryl's outfit? :D

Satnak - :embarrass lookitthetimegottagobrowbeatyoulater *yoink*

Andrea - Thanks -gasp- for the save.

Jeala Jarlot - No prob.

Beryl - ...
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

07-06-06, 06:11 PM		( ooc Where exactly is the Forgotten freedom in Ebberon at the moment? I have an idea for a crewman I was going to intoduce but it sort of hinges on them being in sharn for the close... :bigeyes: )
Rei32491

07-06-06, 06:18 PM		Nalfein and Volrath are on the deck of the FF while Muradin, Jonny, Squinty, Pholly, Steve, and Cuddles stand around them.

Volrath: Ok, so, we are now ready to leave.

Nalfein: How did you get Jonny back to this state? I thought that Terrek “fixed” him.

Volrath: Well this is the original one, the fixed one is in a new body.

Nalfein: Ah.

Klaz: (running up with Vrin behind him) ‘old up there mates! Ol’ Klaz wants a look see at this critter.

Nalfein chucks a fireball at him

Klaz: *now on fire* I’ve ’ad worse.

Volrath introduces him to stabbity death.

Klaz: *bleeding profusely on the floor* I’m not dead yet…

Nalfein: *sigh* Fine, as long as you don’t get in the way. *heals him*

Volrath: Oooooook… Let’s go then.

Volrath starts to draw a sigil that forms into a warp point. Before he finishes, Kanatash floats in looking rather displeased.

Kanatash: Where are you going with my nephew?

Nalfein: We are going to kill the Flamed On-

Kanatash: (slamming him into the wall) You’re going to tell me his real name.

Nalfein: Why should I?

Kanatash: Tell me, or I’m “donating” all of your books to (whispers).

Nalfein: :eek: You wouldn’t!

Kanatash: Wanna test that theory? :smirk:

Nalfein: …fine. His name is Tyranthraxus.

Kanatash: Ok, (sets him down) the rest of you are dead. Have a good time!

Volrath: Nice.

Volrath finishes the portal and the group walks through it.

OOC: The Forgotten Freedom is not anywhere specifically at this time. Unless otherwise stated, it's wherever you want it to be.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-06-06, 06:21 PM		OOC: Great gifts, SilvercatMoonpaw. :rofl: Narrative Element Explaination Bird. :rofl:
OOC: I figure if they encounter anything on the honeymoon you now have an excuse to explain it in a deadpan and mundane-seeming yet humerous way.

And rampant?
Jeala Jarlot - What was that about Beryl's outfit?:D

Satnak - :embarass: lookitthetimegottagobrowbeatyoulater *yoink*
:blink: :confused: :thinks: :lightbulb :schemes:
urial angel of death

07-06-06, 06:21 PM		OOC: The FF is where ever the plot needs it to be. Go ahead bring him aboard and we're at Sharn.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-06-06, 06:23 PM		( ooc Where exactly is the Forgotten freedom in Ebberon at the moment? I have an idea for a crewman I was going to intoduce but it sort of hinges on them being in sharn for the close... :bigeyes: )
OOC: Do what you want. We're currently in transition, so anything's fair game. They go to Sharn regularly anyway (any time they can approach before someone notices it's them and tries to shoot them down).
cypher_zero

07-06-06, 09:39 PM		Terrek stands working in his lab, once again visiting the tube in which he originally placed the body of Jonny the retard illithid.

Terrek works, thinking to himself. There’s a system of checks and balances on the FF. Everyone there has at least one other being more powerful than them to keep their actions in check except for Satnak. She does as she wishes without thought of the consequences. This has to stop. But no matter how much power I acquire she’ll still hold the title of Breaker Prime. It’s a conundrum wrapped in itself. Even beings such as the gods might bow to her power. I just ate the soul of a demi-god and I doubt that even that power will be enough to give her pause. She just rises to every challenge as though they were nothing.

Terrek smirked. It’s a good thing that I’m not limited to brute force as so many of the other crew seem to be. *sigh* They seem to believe that power alone is everything. I’ve lived over four hundred years, amassed all kinds of power of every type imaginable and I know that power alone is not the answer. Perhaps I can teach the rest of them that…

Terrek looks up from the machine to see the tube open. A naked form tumbles out and Terrek catches it. He looks down at the being in his arms and a small tear forms in his eye at the sight of such beauty. He walks over to a stone slab and lays her down gently.

She lies there with her eyes closed, shining black hair laid out behind her head. Her ears come to soft points contrasting the gentle curve of her nose. Her form is long and slender with a slight build and supple breasts. The pale skin on her body reflects the dismal light of the lab as Terrek reaches to brush a stray strand from her face. Her eyes flutter open to reveal iris’s of deep green, expressing kindness and understanding. Her red lips part slightly as she looks up at Terrek.

Girl: Where… who… what…

Terrek speaks softly to the girl, his voice slightly choked at the beauty of the youthful creature.
Terrek: Calm. You are safe Serene. That is all that need concern you. As for who I am… you may call me Terrek.

Girl: Serene…?

Terrek: Serene is your name. Come, get dressed.

He hands Serene a flowing skirt of dark blue glammerweave. It fits closely around her, accenting every curve of her body, leaving her arms and shoulders bare. The skirt ends just above her shins and fades from opaque to nearly transparent from the waist down. Neat folds swirl around her legs as she steps lightly across Terrek's obsidian lab floor. She turns to look at Terrek and speaks softly in a voice like the gentle notes of a harp.

Serene: This is beautiful. I… I don’t know how to thank you.

Terrek: You need give me no thanks. It is my responsibility as your creator to see you have all that you need.

Serene: You created me? Is that how I came to be here?

Terrek: Yes. I created you from the body of brain-dead being.

Serene: But… why? For what purpose did you create me?

Terrek smiled at his creation. He could not keep Satnak in check through power, but perhaps other means…

Terrek: I made you for a girl. You know her already in your mind. Shortly you will seek her out. If she accepts you, you will bring each other much happiness.

Serene closed her eyes and smiled.

Serene: Yes… I see her in my mind… she’s wonderful! I feel as though I already know her. When may I meet her? I wish terribly to do so…

Terrek: Come. We’ll meet her in a moment.

Terrek waves his hand and a portal opens to the Forgotten Freedom. He walks through it with Serene trailing close behind…
.

OOC:
Serene

Race: Humanoid
Classes: Bard 14
Alignment: NG

Serene was created by Terrek to be the perfect girl for Satnak and to keep her in check. Since Terrek is her creator, she sees him as something of a father figure and does all she can to please him and trusts him over any other. Terrek for his part exercises no direct control over her actions preferring to act in a fatherly manner and because if he did, someone would find out and Satnak would be ticked that he was trying to control her.

Whether or not Satnak will actually fall in love with Serene is yet to be seen, but it is highly likely as Terrek has “programmed” her personality to fit Satnak perfectly and adjust itself as needed. While this has some potential to backfire on Terrek, he believes that if the two do fall in love, Satnak will be less likely to involve herself in his affairs where she’s unwanted and hopefully become a tad more docile.

Serene’s personality is entirely morphic, bending itself to fit Satnak perfectly. Right now though, she’s rather docile and quiet. She also loves to sing and her songs bring a calm to all that hear them.

Skills: perform(sing), diplomacy

Other notes: Cha of OH MY FREAKIN GOD!
.
urial angel of death

07-06-06, 10:14 PM		Volrath sees Serene as she appears on board.

Volrath: So she's the one Terrek is using against Satnak. Even his scrying defenses couldn't stop me... Then again it was rather easy. Maybe he wanted me to see. Doesn't really matter anyway.

A few minutes later Volrath appears in Ketler's room.

Ketler: :zzz:

Volrath: Wake up!

Ketler: Gah! Don't do that!

Volrath: Alright anyway read this. *hands him Magic: the Gathering Nemesis * Note what happens to the elf girl in the first couple chapters. Can you repeat what happened to her to the new girl?

Ketler: What would I get out of it?

Volrath: As you read I'm sure it will be aparrent to be its own reward. :devil:

Ketler: We'll see, but why are you doing this whatever it is?

Volrath: I need some degree of control of Satnak. See ya.

Volrath disappears and Ketler gets to reading.
urial angel of death

07-06-06, 10:25 PM		OOC: my last post happened right before Rei's last post.
rampant

07-06-06, 10:31 PM		Satnak - Hey Terrek, whos the newbie.

Terrek - Gah, what are doing sneaking around?

Satnak - I need to find all the Lisa and terra Siblings/twisted clones and make sure Lisa and Terra aren't walking into a trap they can't handle on the way home. That and someone's been stealing my clothes.

Terrek - (who in their right minds... oh yeah forgotten freedom... check your sanity at the door... the establishment is not responsible for psychological trauma, dismemberment, etc.) This is Serene... My ... Daughter.

Satnak - Hi.

Satnak extends her hand in greeting.

Serene - Hello, your eyes... you must be Satnak.

Satnak - So the old man's been warning you, good. I was worried he might not appreciate how dangerous this ship can be for un-modified humanoids... or is yours just not obvious. To tell the truth I keep expecting you to have scales somewhere.

Serene - Why?

Satnak - Your old man really went in for the grafting mods, I guess you take after your mom.

Serene - Mom?

Terrek - Please Satnak, don't ...

Satnak - OH.. ok I'll leave it alone, I know what that's like.

Serene - Do think scales would be a good Idea?

Satnak - NO WAY, scales are creepy on mammals. You train under Forbes for a year or two and you get a massive snake aversion.

Terrek - (i.h.h. good to know)

Satnak - I'm basically wandering around anyway, I'll show you around, Terrek still hasn't figured out a few of the best spots.

Terrek - Actually I was going to ask you to look out for her a bit, I have alot to do right now, came up very suddenly.

Serene - I'd like to go with you.

Satnak - All right... I'll show her around... If you see Beryl I need to talk to her.

Terrek - Ok.
------------------------
OOC: this help?
Kamikaze Chicken

07-06-06, 11:20 PM		A young man in slightly dishevelled clothing walks up the docking ramp of the FF holding a half-burnt scroll in front of him. Each step causes bits of rubble to fall from his shoulders, three seperate buildings had tried to collapse upon him, how ever, Quill was very lucky. His wide brimmed hat, flowing cloak, chain shirt, scabard, belt, boots, gloves, and all oter acoutrements, were fashioned a brilliant crimson.
He planted both boots solidly upon the deck of the forgotten freedom, and looked around at the people walking around with a look that combined exuberance, fear, trepidation, and that little fealing young boys get the first time they are forcedto be naked around others of thier sex. At the next moment quill was jostled sideways by a pair of women, one obviously beutiful, the others caring hims ensless by her sheer pressence. The subsequent fall toplled Quill over the rail.
But as was always is luck..... his cloak caught on a broken piece of hull that had yet to be repaired. Mentally noting a ripping sound Quill swung himself about some and just managed to make it aboard the ship again. He re-opened his charred scroll and read the name jar....

Quill: Jar...... damned fire... leave it to Quill to burn his assignment orders.....

He looked around rather hopelessly lost on the ship, with its myriad crew of misfits and marvels. Knowing he was in the right place though he decided to make the best of it as he always did. Setting his hat down to the deck at his feet he slung his like-wise crimson guitar around to his front and produced a tubular flask of Alchemists shock from a crimson satchel at his waist. Inserting the tube half way into the back end of the guitar and twisting it to the left, a bit of "feed back" was heard before a projected sound of playing was heard.

SO enters the not-so-red-shirt, The Crimson Quill.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Ok so Quill is a lvl 10 human bard, but is highly inexperienced in the real world. or crimes.. so well see how this goes...

His guitar is a self made creation it has a small storm elemental bound into it and it gets 'fed' by the alchemicalshock to fuel a quasi- electric guitar feel. Its mor elike hooking up a six string to a amp and hoping for the best. but this guitar can double as a weapon if the cylinder of shockj is twisted to the right. Many nasty electric and sonic things will follow soon after.

I give you new crew #2... please be gentle.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-06-06, 11:35 PM		OOC: What's the deal with everyone wanting to hook up Satnak all of a sudden? Not complaining, just curious. This promises to be funny no matter what happens.
Crystalforged

07-07-06, 12:05 AM		Meanwhile as Kanatash's "physical" body has been causing the standard mayhem around the FF his psyche has been exploring the mind of his unconscious creator. He is in a place where most, if not all, of the secrets of his universe along with the secrets of his past, present, and future. A place offering nigh unlimited knowledge and power...

Kanatash: Sweet Jaela I'm bored.

...or maybe not.

Kanatash: I swear I can't figure out this guy. He's clearly out of his mind, he created me after all, but for the love of the deranged lords I can't figure out why. Normal childhood, normal adolescence, there are a few odd ball relative's but they're not crazy enough to suggest it was genetic. The only thing I can come up with is that he's so sane it drove him crazy.

He glances around at his surroundings. They appear to be simple, whitewashed hallways with numerous doors. Each door has a simple lable such as "childhood memories", "future plans", or "intimant details of Kanatash's sex life". The last has at least half a dozen locks on it and has has been welded shut, aparently even the owner of these memories doesn't want to contemplate them two deeply.

Kanatash: I suppose as long as I'm here I should see if I can find out anything else intersesting. Let's see... "The meaning of life", that sounds interesting.

He yanks open the door revealing a completely white empty space occupied by only by a pair of symols. Those symbols rise hundreds of feet above the ground and are ablaze with roaring flames the give off the illumination of a thousand thousand suns. Those symbols are... 42.

Kanatash: (closing the door) :bored: Ok, he's not even TRYING to be origional now. Alright then how about... (glances around) Oooooooh, this has potential.

He yanks open a door with a simple lable, "WARNING. DO NOT OPEN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. IF OPENED CONTENTS WILL BE RELEASED ONTO THE FORGOTEN FREEDOM." (alright I lied, the lable isn't simple, bite me) As the door opens a blinding flash of light forces Kanatash to shield his eyes. A low chuckle echoes from beyond the threshold followed by dog-like yip. Out of the light steps a scaly, diminutive humanoid. A Kobold.

PUN-PUN: Free at last! :evillaugh

Kanatash: Oh, dear. I'm going to get into so much trouble for this. :smirk: It might just be worth it though...



OOC: Just stating now for the record, I'm bringing pun-pun on board simple so there can be a one-on-one between him and Satnak. Come on, you can't tell me that I'm the only one who wants to see that battle, it's pay-per-view material if there ever was any: The INFINITE vs. The ULTIMATE. If someone else has other things they want to do with him or ideas on how the battle should come about or even it's outcome you have my blessing to run with it. (I've got nothing, at least for the moment)
Kaizer_Ryu

07-07-06, 12:09 AM		Currently on Daanvi, the Plane of Perfect Order:

Terra: I forget exactly why we wanted to come here...

Lisa: I thought it might be interesting to see order and law in excess. We see the opposite every day, so I figured it'd give us some perspective.

Terra: And it has. Order is boring.

Lisa: To this extent, very much so. Wanna check out Kythri? (FYI: The Plane of Churning Chaos)

Terra: Probably not a good idea. Crew of the Forgotten Freedom are like Rock Stars there. No privacy and everyone would want our autograph.

Lisa: How do you know?

Terra: I took a quick look before we left. I had to beat my legions of fans back with a stick.

Lisa: A stick?

Terra: Figure of speech. I actually used some of Devon's poetry.

Lisa: So that's why you looked ill...

Terra: Yeah. But thanks to that, I now know what Kanatash feels like when the Crystals are after him.
rampant

07-07-06, 12:12 AM		OOC: well a while back Chrys was gonna do something with beryl and Satnak, i got tired of waiting so i pushed a little, as for Terrek and serene, Thats just timing. Terrek doesn't like Satnak out of control, so he made his move.
------------------------------------------------------

Satnak - This is Earl

Serene - who is?

Earl - That would be me.

Serene - the elemental ring? its sentient like the Keel?

Satnak - No the elemental is just chatty.

Serene - Oh? Hello then.

Earl - Howdy. How do you know Ms. Breaker Prime?

Serene - Terrek... My Old man?

Satnak - I'm showing her around for the ghoulish one.

Earl - Wouldn't have thought any parent would wan't their kid within a thousand miles of this ship, then again there is Sabriel and her little Lady. Well your safe as long as Satnak likes ya. She's the scariest thing ever, except maybe for that Levy woman.

Serene - I don't think your scary, and who's Levy.

Satnak - Levy is my adopted big sister, and for the last ten years she was the love of my life. Recently I told her about my feelings and she didn't feel for me in the same way. She's still my sister and friend, but its hard. I gotta visit her soon, just as soon as I can look her in the eye and call her sister without breaking down.
-------------------
OOC: Cypher Zero your up for her response.
Gladius_Lucix

07-07-06, 12:29 AM		Liam sits in his lab, looking over the hastily drawn plans from the DM Breaker and Mi-Go Cannon power sources. There are other sheets of paper all over his desk with various scribble that seem similar to the power sources.

Liam: Well, the power has weaponized well. Didn't get to see how it reacted to enhancing divinity, but that was probably for the best. I wonder how a modular power source would work...

Liam grabs a gadget that looks similar what is described in the plans for the DM Breaker power source. Grabbing a wand off the shelf, he gives it a twirl and plugs the butt end into the gadget.

Liam: Begin recording.

Something beeps in the background.

Liam: Test run number 51. Working power source connected to Wand of Magic Missle. Activate Target.

A bull's eye lowers into view. A digital readout rests above it.

Liam: Establishing baseline reading. One charge, power source off.

A single Magic Missle strikes the bull's eye.

Liam: Baseline reading established. First test shot, one charge, power source at minimum.

A barrage of Magic Missles stream toward the bull's eye.

Liam: Reading is approximately 10 times baseline. Second test shot, one charge, power source at maximum.

A much, much larger barrage of Magic Missles strike the bull's eye. Once the smoke clears, there isn't much left.

Liam: Reading cannot be measured. Last reading from target was approximately 5,000 times baseline. End Recording.

Another beep sounds from the background.

Liam: This is all well and good, but I wanted to be able to use the energy to help construct magic items, not just amplify their effects to unheard of levels.

He removes the power source from the wand and returns to his sketches.
Kamikaze Chicken

07-07-06, 12:39 AM		Quill continued to play away at his crimson guitar checking the fluid level to see how much longer he could ply his craft. His hat had filled with an assortment of coins, droppings, a few nuts, one random tentacle, and a holy symbol from the church of the silver flame.

Had Quill the constitution to question the various giversof these gifts he would have trained as a fighter and not a bard... but as he was a bard he decided to change is tune and sing a song he had heard in one of Sharn's many taverns just the night before his assignment.

Quill:
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The lotus blurs it all
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
[ original lyrics copyright mr. cash]

As the song ended so did the flow of fluid through Quill's guitar, and a simlar squak sounded the end of his playing. Quill sighed and slung his guitar back around and pulled out his burnt scroll once more,
Quill: ... report to jar.... something..... and its signed... vol... somthing.... i just had to upset that silver pyromancer with my joke about priests and little boys......it was funnyw hen the gnome said it... Oh well maybe some one will come my way and point me in the right direction....
Gladius_Lucix

07-07-06, 12:53 AM		OOC: Just stating now for the record, I'm bringing pun-pun on board simple so there can be a one-on-one between him and Satnak. Come on, you can't tell me that I'm the only one who wants to see that battle, it's pay-per-view material if there ever was any: The INFINITE vs. The ULTIMATE. If someone else has other things they want to do with him or ideas on how the battle should come about or even it's outcome you have my blessing to run with it. (I've got nothing, at least for the moment)
OOC: Quoting the specific rule that Pun-Pun breaks: (Emphasis Mine.)

At will, a sarrukh can modify the form of any Scaled One native to Toril, except for aquatic and undead creatures.

So, unless he found the 3.5 way to transfer between settings, he's stuck on Toril, or an Eberron Native and it doesn't work.

Of course, we don't know what kind of conduit the minds of the Entitys from beyond Non Existance are like. :P
Crystalforged

07-07-06, 01:06 AM		So pun-pun is completely illegeal by RAW in Eberron. Your point is? This is the Forgoten Freedom we're talking about here. When have we EVER been bound by the rules of the game?
rampant

07-07-06, 01:23 AM		OOC: Leave it alone guys, the punpun is shaky to begin with, this debate is already being done on char op and rules boards so stop. Just accept that it can do as advertised in serpent kingdoms to itself somehow. IF you want to do a fight between satnak and punpun give me a starting point for punpun would ya. I'm assuming a 5th level metabolist with cranked natural armor con dex and str anything else?
---------------------------------

Chalky - I wonder if Fealthas has figured out that "warpaint" I got for them. :D Hahahaha

Roosevelt - ...

Chalky - haha... their behind me aren't they?

Roosevelt - Yep

Challky is dragged away by a crowd of blue faced Half-dragons shouting "it's worth it".

----------------------------------

Earl - Hey Beryl throaght feeling better?

Beryl - Yeah what does she do soak her hand in godslayer blood every day?

Earl - That reminds me satnak was looking for you.

Beryl - ... What about?

Earl - Dunno, Levy came up in the conversation and they started wandering off.

Beryl - They?

Earl - Yeah a newbie was with her getting shown around. Terrek's little girl.
--------------------------
OOC: Its like a bad soap opera in here. :D Who else is having fun?
Kamikaze Chicken

07-07-06, 01:54 AM		Quill: i guess i could be in worse places than this...

Earl: oh my yes i would agree, ive seen many of them myself.

Quill:[after jumping back into his skin] YOU TALK!

Earl: well so do you...

Quill: well yes.. but im suposed to talk im a ...

Earl: a human yes i know but can;t elementals talk too when they are so inclined...?

Quill: i was going to say im a bard.... but answer me this oh sir talkative ring of the bound elemental... Are all of your kin nearly as talkative as you?

Earl: Not really.. unlike my fellows I am not placiated by humming.

Quill: Perhaps w ehave mor ein common than i could think what aboooooowww![ quill gets nearly burnt to death coming a bit too close to the elemental ring arcane energies singing him losely yet some how survivng yet again...]

Earl: sorry bout that.. im not exactly cuddly.

Quill: Well ill keep that in mind next time i need a hug....
Charles Phipps

07-07-06, 02:55 AM		OOC: Honestly, I had no idea that Lisa had an evil sister before Linda. Assume she's a reimagining of the concept to be honest.

Michael:...no...no....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Michael awakens with a scream*

*Beside his bed with a sword to his throat was Linda*

Linda: Hello lover.

Michael: LISA?!

Linda: Not quite. You don't remember me do you?

Michael: I....oh its you.

Linda: Yes it's me. You killed my husband, my friends, and my unit. For what? Gold? Steel? Murder?

Michael: I don't remember.

Linda: YOU DON'T REMEMBER!?

Michael: Being a Blackguard is like being in love. You don't think. You just act. It's a crystal clarity born from steely resolve that fear, hate, passion....all of these things are all that matter.

Linda: I lost that feeling too. All thanks to you.

Michael: Then get it over with.

Linda: You think I'm going to accept that? A swift death for you? No. I will make you SUFFER for what you've done.

Michael: I don't mind.

Linda: The fool repents? Please.

Michael: No, I just don't have anything to live for. I gave up my faith in the Devourer, I gave up my fortune, I gave up my sense of identity to be with Lisa. Ultimately, that wasn't enough. I can't go back to what I was but I don't believe in the Silver Flame or the Sovereign Host. The world sucks too much to be controlled by a benevolent god. I just...exist now....and if it gives you passion then I can't bring myself to refute it.

Linda: How maudlin.

Michael: I'm not like Terra Linda. Don't think for a second that I ever justified my evil. I burned villages, tortured, and enjoyed every minute of it. For thirteen years, since the day I could HOLD a sword I gave an ugly death to everything that I came across. I was GOOD at it. I didn't kill ten or a hundred while I was a blackguard. During the Last War and after it...I killed TEN THOUSAND.

...I was death.

Linda: You were the Black Knight. The one who destroyed the city of Koan In thrane.

Michael: EASILY.

Linda: Every instinct in me tells me I need to kill you.

Michael: THEN DO IT OR GET OUT.

Linda: *shaken* I'll get you later. I have to....

*she flees*
Charles Phipps

07-07-06, 03:56 AM		Queen Aurala: Oh great, what the hell are you doing here Andrea?

Andrea: What? No pleasant words for your MOTHER?

Queen Aurala: The Karrn ***** my father chose to replace his dutiful queen...

Andrea: Whom was infertile...

Queen Aurala: With, is none of my affair even if I was the product of it.

Andrea: I'm here to discuss Jarlot.

Queen Aurala: I don't want to discuss what we share in common.

Andrea: He nearly destroyed the planet a couple of weeks ago.

Queen Aurala: The Forgotten Freedom is a source of misery and horror for all of Khovaire. If Hell is on Eberron, then its jailer is Jarlot.

Andrea: I need your help.

Queen Aurala: Why now?

Andrea: Because your son with him is about to reach maturity and then he shall become the new inheritor of the power of Khyber.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-07-06, 03:59 AM		Meanwhile, on the Elemental Plane of Booze:

Booze Elemental 1: Say, what do you think this sense of impending doom is?

Booze Elemental 2: I'm not sure, but I know we won't like it...

A short distance away, Terra and Lisa materialize.

Terra: Well, this is unexpected. I was aiming for Risia... (Plain of Ice)

Lisa: Did we take a wrong turn or something?

Terra: It's possible. Why don't we ask someone?

Seeing the two Elementals, they head over. The Elementals look up, startled.

Lisa: Um, excuse me...?

BE 1: H-hello travelers, what brings you he-

BE 2: *cutting him off* Wait. Are you two from Eberron?

Terra: Yeah...

BE 2: Then...have you heard of the Forgotten Freedom?

Lisa: Uh-huh. We're members of the crew.

BE 1 & 2: :blink: :eek: :OMG! RUN AWAY!!!!!!

They tear off into a full run towards some of their fellows, screaming at the top of their lungs. Or whatever Elementals use to talk.

Terra: Wait! What's going on?

BE 1: FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!!! THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US!!!!

BE 2: THE DEVOURERS HAVE COME AT LAST!!!! ALL IS FOR NAUGHT!!!!

A portals opens up, catching another Elemental as it runs in terror from the confused duo. The bound one writhes in agony, making gurgling noises.

BE 1: NOOOOO!!! THEY GOT LITTLE TIMMY!!!!

Once the Elemental is drained, an eye appears in the portal.

Muradin: Hi guys!!!

Terra: WTF! Muradin!

Lisa: Of course! The Endless Decanters of Ale connect here!

Terra: How's it going?

Muradin: Muradin helping buddies smash firey bad guys.

Nalfein: *from somewhere behind Muradin* Damnit, Muradin! Stop drinking and help us!

Muradin: :( Ok... Bye!

The portal closes, leaving the two alone again.

Lisa: And yet, somehow, this trip is still less wierd than a day on the ship...
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-07-06, 07:03 AM		OOC: What's the deal with everyone wanting to hook up Satnak all of a sudden? Not complaining, just curious. This promises to be funny no matter what happens.
OOC: Slow day. What else are we going to do? Oh, we could do something piratical.

Bunny: Just be lucky Silver isn't here.

OOC: I thought I told you never to address me unless I'm in OOcat mode!!

Bunny: Bite me. I dare you.
******
13: So now Satnak gets to be messed with like Norbaz?

Bunny's commentator chair: (cricket chirp. empty.)

13: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO DO A COMMENTARY BY YOURSELF?
******
Enter Ninja Jaela 26 because she hasn't been used in a while.

Mendova (to male customer ;) ): I see you're new here. Allow me to demonstrate what I do to impetuous newcomers!

*CRASH*

NJ26: I think I'm in love. :love:

Bunny: Is this going to be another female/female relationship?

NJ26: Nah, I'm celebate. I just have got to learn those moves.

Bunny: Ketler's going to ber vvvvvvveeeeeeerrrrrrry afraid. :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-07-06, 07:19 AM		As Terra and Lisa ready to depart from the plane of booze, they see an illithid ridding the waves of the plane on a long board. He passes them by.

Illithid: Ritious! Ritious!

On a chain around its neck is the symbol of Thyrs.

N(arrative)E(lement)E(xplanation)B(ird): Arrr. I be havin' a feelin' that this be a set-up for a runnin' gag.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

07-07-06, 09:16 AM		The air is quiet, somberly still, texutred with a quiet babble of crouds that swells into an echo as they enter a large chamber that conects several levels by way of a wide curving starcase, helterskeltered with banisters polished by time.
Guards line the walls, in unforms of the Sharn watch. In the centre, guarded by a glass case and six squat pillars is the Tear of Breland, Khavores Largest saphire, of incalculable worth. It is a normal day.
Normal that is untill the shattering of a skylight fills the museum with wailing alarms. Amid the noise a sleek agile figure drips to the landing below, Soulmelds shimmer over a fine Glamor weave shirt.

Guards surge up the stars towards him on both sides of the Kanding, bellowing comands to stop. He waits, smmothly drawing a heavy crossblow with a 5 bolt clip alraedy loaded from within his cape. Closer and closer the guards get. He leaps neatly on to the banister, beggins to slide, shoots once, twice, thrice desending, striken guards tumbeling down the stairs they were climbing, geting in the others way.

He fires a fourth time at the Glass case over the gem, braeking it. The casings of the pillars taht suround it fall away, inside stacks of crossbows are revealed, they spin and fire, filling the air with a sound like a swarm of angry hornets. He shifts his weight, reaches the end of the banister with a fluid leap taht cartwheels him to the plinth, snaching the gem as he twists his body between the storm of bolts, and then into a long smooth roll to a long hallway that ends in a balcony.

A sombre Dwarf in Kundark livery guards the way, backed by more Guards, no way to pass.

Dwarf: "It seems your luck has run out, Mr Random. Throw down your weapon."
Chanse Random "You want me to thrw down my weapon?" looks at the crossbow he holds in shooting stance "This weapon? In front of you?" [incredulose]
Dwarf "That is precicely what I want mr Random"
Chanse "Ok" :plotting: he throws the crossbow at the tiled floor, seeting off the last bolt, with wines into the air, severs the ropes holding the chandelear hanging above the guards, they scatter.

Chanse emits a green glow taht folows his motions in a wash of solarisation, he ducks, rolls grabbing his crossbow as he discards the clip, begins to run with flickering speed to the balcony, leaps like a diver.
****
The air is filled with the shattering crash of the chandelears impact, the Dwarf first to his feet grabs up the discarded clip, sees wrighting, frowns 'What kind of stinker puts explosave runes on a thing like this?' he reads before the explosion.
****
Chanse Lands rolls to a stop on the deck of an airship, in one hand the gem, the other his weapon. He sees the Name upon the prow, mutters to himself "The Forgotten Freedom?" :help:

(ooc: Chanse Random, changling Incarnate 20, Chayotic neutral. A Debonar would be master theif with a flar for the dramatic, and a master marksman. Hes got a love of high risks, large rewards, and intricate practical jokes or tests of skill. Have fun with him people, and I hope you enjoyed that. ;) )
Chrys

07-07-06, 09:18 AM		OOChrys: Nah I gave up on the the Beryl/Satnak Thing when I couldn't think of way to get them together that did not have to do with getting drunk. BERYL IS NOT ON THE SHIP SHE IS BUSY TAKING OVER DREADHOLD! and second Beryl had not traps or any thing like that [the gifts were/are A Book of Good Outsider infused Durid magic, and a suit of Flame Touched Plate armour].

Layla: So what I have two twin sisters now?

OOChrys:Ah such is the way of Chaos, Just be Glad your not a Clone or an Alt... What's a Pun-Pun?

Beryl: I think it a Kobold... Hey when are you going to get to me turning the DreadHold in to a Pirate ship?

P/Y/R: Hey at lest he hasn't forgotten about you yet!

OOChrys: Look You be in my Next Plot... you know the one where you take Volrath to meet your other mother.
rampant

07-07-06, 09:37 AM		OOC : Well that makes things easier for Serene.
----------------------

Satnak - Screw it if she's gonna mess with My friends its not worth it.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-07-06, 10:44 AM		OOC : Well that makes things easier for Serene.OOC: Awwwwww....

Oh, well. It's not like we've never scrapped a plot in progress before. By the way, Cypher, if you want to have Terra and Lisa visit Terrek's demi-plane, feel free. Just don't keep them there too long. The things I've done so far are merely a precurser to bigger and better insanity.
urial angel of death

07-07-06, 11:33 AM		Ketler has finished the book tears are streaming down his face.

Ketler: Poor Ertai. :weep: *wipes tear from his face* Well better get back to the task at hand. Should I do it? I would have to play party to the murder of an innocent person, but I get to see her naked and get to creat an amazingly complex robot.

A voice sounds in Ketler's head.

Volrath: Ketler this is a prerecorded message planted in your mind to activate when you finish the book. First off I'd like to say that if you are even considering helping me right now without hearing the changes I have made to the process you are a horrible vile person. That being said I will now list the changes. First she will live through it. Second she will be given pain-killers during the operation. Third their will be a chip inserted into her brain that allows me limited control. This operation will, I believe, cause her to live a better life than she has right now for a few reasons. First she will be more resistant to injury and on the FF that is important. Second she will be able to resist orders from Terrek if they go extremely against her nature or if they would end up hurting me or you. Thridly it will allow her something of her own personality. She will still strive to please Satnak, but it will not consume every aspect of her life. All of the supplies you'll need are hidden under your bed.

Ketler looks under his bed and gets to work.
rampant

07-07-06, 12:43 PM		Kithle - Volrath...

Volrath - I didn't do it, please don't sic the squirrel on me!!

Kithle - I know what Terrek did, I know what your planning. You think your helping, but your really compounding the sin. We need more info, before we act here. Besides Satnak is perceptive in her way, she considers Serene her responsibility as long as she is showing her around, regardless of anything else she will do her best to return Serene to her Father with no damage should trouble arise. Needless to say Satnak's best would probably vaporize you. Don't be rash here, we need to talk to dear old dad.

Volrath - Ah the plotting, I do so love the plotting.
luna18moon

07-07-06, 01:24 PM		A small cat hides in the shadows on deck, her tail lashing. It had a squirrel in its sights, and didn't really care about the mini demonic chocobo it was riding. It would probably make a nice dessert, though. The cat pounced... and was caught by Caralot.
Caralot: Now when did this cute cat get onboard? :lightbulb Who cares? It could be so much cuter if I... :plotting:
Cat: :eek:
The cat begins struggling immensely. However, Caralot keeps her grip, and they are getting closer and closer to her dreaded lab. Suddenly, the cat is gone, and a young halfling-like girl is bounding away.
Later, the girl is hiding somewhere inside an abandoned storeroom.
Girl: Note to self: NEVER get anywhere Crazy Mad Scientist Lady ever again. NEVER! AGAIN!
Chili starts bubbling out of a huge pot.
Girl: Oh ****! You can't even find a place to hide for five minutes on this ship!
Slaypaw
Tibbit Level 5 Rogue/Level 5 Barbarian
Slaypaw is a relatively young tibbit, but she has a taste for fighting. It doesn't have to be lethal, she just enjoys it immensely. Her family threw her out when she killed another tibbit in a duel to first blood, hence the nickname. After that, she adventured for a while, but her entire party was killed in an illithid ambush. She got away by shifting to cat form and running off. She sneaked on the Forgotten Freedom on a whim, and hasn't had a chance to get off yet. She has not revealed herself for fear of the ubers.
urial angel of death

07-07-06, 01:44 PM		Volrath: Kithle how did you get here?

Kithle: Teleported.

Volrath: Ah, I would just like to say Serene is a bard and therefore needs all the improvement she can get. Besides with Igor doing the sewwing the scars would be almost nonexistant.

Kithle: I still say it's a dumb idea. Just follow along for awhile I've got something really good planned.

Volrath: Alright I'll give your plan a shot. Wherever you're going I'll follow with a projected image.

OOC: Rampant remember that Volrath isn't actually on the ship. Other than that do whatever you want.

-----

IC: Meanwhile on board the FF. The keel and the elemental ring are deep in conversation.

John: I've been wondering since the C'tan were able to get into Eberron, do you think that any other Warhammer 40k races could get through.

Earl: Shh. The entities from beyond non-existance might here you.

John: Okay, anyways about your early question about the underwear shortage...
rampant

07-07-06, 01:51 PM		Fluffy - Meow ( Diamond Chains )

The chili is frosted over and bound by sheets of ice.

Fluffy - Meow (This way) *yoink*

Slaypaw follows just as the chili breaks free.

Fluffy leads Slaypaw and hot on her heels comes the chili until fluffy leads them right into a squirrel ambush.

Slaypaw - AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII

As the tide of squirrels and their mounts bears past her Slaypaw notices they are riding ocelots and more mini demon chocobo, and more importantly that they seem more focused on the chili.

Slaypaw - Note to self, the chili is alive and the squirrels have built an advanced civilization. This ship is insane.

Fluffy - Sniff-sniff meow ( who are you and where is your cat? )
luna18moon

07-07-06, 01:55 PM		Tibbit is her race, and Slaypaw is her name.
Nice newbie bullying by Fluffy, though. :)
rampant

07-07-06, 02:36 PM		Kithle - *knockknock* I know you're in there Terrek, Don't make me tell her.

Terrek - *Opens door* Alright come in, shut the door behind you.

Kithle - Much better, now Volrath don't touc-

CRASH

Volrath - :embarrass hehe

Kithle - anything *sigh*... Anyway (hands volrath a small broom and a dustpan) I'm concerned about this Serene creature, you created.

Terrek - Go bother Sa'vor he remade a whole species.

Kithle - I know Sa'vor he would never try to control his children the way you seem to be. Is Serene a person or a string of programming?
------------------
OOC: thanks for clearing up the name/race thing on Slaypaw.
urial angel of death

07-07-06, 03:14 PM		OOC: Volrath couldn't have touched anything because he isn't really there it is just an illusion that he can see through, the project image spell.
Endless_Helix

07-07-06, 03:22 PM		Kanatash: Oh dear Tibbit, you must come with me.

Slaypaw: "Dear Tibbit"? Are you asking for a fight, cuz I'll gladly rip out your throa-

Kanatash: If that is what you wish, but first we must eat. Oh dear, it appears to be rather windy, do be careful.

Slaypaw: Uh... Wha-

Kanatash: I know a lovely hostel, but you must be properly attired first.

Slaypaw: Properly Att-

Kanatash puts a lampshade on Slaypaw's head.

Kanatash: That should keep the wind off. Now, to brunch.

Slaypaw: A LAMPSHA- oh my...

Kanatash teleports them to a baroque high tea room. A huge table is laid with a feast to make the gods weep.

Slaypaw: I don't know what any of this is... this is amazing...

Kanatash: Would you like some wine?

Slaypaw: Sure! *Picks up an unmarked bottle*

Kanatash: Ah, you have fine taste! That is the last of its kind. It was brewed on the far side of Dolurrh out of the unattained desires of stillborn babes during the first Mourning. It had taken 10,000 stillborns to brew that to full potency.

Slaypaw: Urgh... I think I'll let that wait... What is that? *Points to a coiled meat dish in the center of the table.*

Kanatash: That is another excellent choice! It is also exceedingly rare; I must complement the chef on his expertise. It is coatl, marinated in the tears of a thousand spinsters, cooked to perfection over the shadow of the Silver Flame, served on a platter of dragon scales. The dish next to it is a treant leaf salad sprinkled with olives fed on the hatred of five hundred rakashasa in a dressing made with the nightmares of Quori. Beside that is the Cockatrice tongues in a-

Slaypaw: I think I see some pork over there. I think I'll have that. I couldn't deprive of any of the other dishes.

Kanatash: As you will; you are very generous.

Slaypaw: Hey, this is pretty good! Actually, this is amazing!

Kanatash: As I said, you are immensely generous, but in your magnanimity you have unknowingly chosen the crowning dish, a testament to your immense talent for asthetics. The piglets used to make that dish were fed upon the screams of the eternal battle on Shavrath and the choked up hollow rage of a hundred thousand slaves after being beaten exquisitely by their masters. They were then soaked in the menstrual blood of 13,000 elves who died within four hours of their first period. They were then broiled over the fires of the oldest fire elemental. They were then slaughtered most brutally and coated with glaze made of the finest red peppers from Breland.

Slaypaw: I am going to hurl

Kanatash: Oh! Are you finished already?

Slaypaw: *Nods emphatically*

Kanatash: Very well.

Kanatash returns them to the Forgotten Freedom.

Kanatash: Ah, here we are!

Slaypaw: Hey, uh... guy with the thistledown hair... can I take this lampshade off now?

Kanatash: If you want. But aren't you worried?

Slaypaw: About what?

Kanatash: The candle going out, you know, the one in your head.

Slaypaw runs away, very, very, very quickly. Kanatash floats away amiably, suddenly reaching inside a passing redshirt's head. The redshirt drops dead. As its head falls away you can see that Kanatash's hand looks as though it just snuffed a candle.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-07-06, 03:35 PM		OOC: luna18moon, Caralot is currently off the ship, visiting her home dimension and will not be back until Terra and Lisa are aboard again. She cannot even begin to come home until Silver finds her and tells her that Ariajni has been defeated.

IC: Silver is standing in the middle of a Nintendo convention. People are mistaking her for Princess Zelda.

Silver: I hate you so much.

OOcat: :D
Chrys

07-07-06, 03:55 PM		Pazuzu: Why am I standing in this summoning thingy?

Beryl: Well Here is the Plan, we use the Will siphon the power out of these Demonic Elemental in to you …

Pazuzu: YES THEN I WILL HAVE ALL THE POWER! AND I SHALL RULE THE AIR OF THIS REALM AS WELL AS MY OWN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Layla: Err… Reminded me never to gloat. Mistress Shall I?

Beryl: Yes, If he does want to listen to the rest of the plan then he can’t blame me… Its not like I was going to give him a choice any why.

Layla then flips a switch and the All Cheese special effects start to drain the power from 10 score Demonic Elemental and then is sent to Pazuzu.

Beryl: All right que the enslaved demon binders and get the Big Shard in place.

PaZuzu: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA … Huh What?!

Beryl: You Poor Dumb B*st*rd; did You in all your bird-brain capasaty ever Think that I’m just using you … I mean Geez I am the Queen of the Demons.

Later After the all is done Beryl, Layla and Juiblex are standing on the ‘deck’ of Their new ship…

Beryl: All right Juiblex chart a path for the Forgotten Freedom… But make sure to go through Thane I still have to pick up that armor.

OOCHrys: Ship Number 3 Ready to have some Zanny and Mad cap fun
Crystalforged

07-07-06, 05:05 PM		OOC: Leave it alone guys, the punpun is shaky to begin with, this debate is already being done on char op and rules boards so stop. Just accept that it can do as advertised in serpent kingdoms to itself somehow. IF you want to do a fight between satnak and punpun give me a starting point for punpun would ya. I'm assuming a 5th level metabolist with cranked natural armor con dex and str anything else?
For Pun-Pun's stats just assume they're practically infinite. Perhaps not truely infinite but high enough that even Satnak isn't going to be able to do more than annoy him in a straight up slug-fest. He also can be assumed to posses any other ability possessed by any other creature in existance, including Satnak. In other words if Satnak tries to use her power against him directly he's just going to take the hit like it's nothing and hand it back to her tenfold. Remember: Fight smarter, not harder. ;)



IC: Pun-Pun is currently below decks in the Reshirt quarters.

Redshirt 1: What's up with the new blood? I didn't think we took on any new meat recently.

Redshirt 2: Well there have been quite a few new named characters but redshirts? He must have followed one of those named characters.

Redshirt 1: That must be it I suppose. After all look at him, he's a kobold, I mean even when the cloaning machine broke down and Kanatash devestated the redshirt supply the capn' still wasn't desperate enough to hire KOBOLDS. Seriously why would anyone want to hire kobolds, the only thing they're good for is human shields, and they're not even good at that since they're so small and weak.

Pun-Pun: (walking up) You got a problem with Kobolds?

Redshirt 1: Yeah I got a problem with wussy *** Kobolds. You little bastards suck so much you give REDSHIRT'S a bad name. You're just a bunch of-

It is unclear what the redshirt was about to say about Kobolds since at this point in time Pun-Pun extended his hand and lightly brushed the redshirt's stomach with his little finger. The shockwave from this strike hurled the other ocupants of the room to the floor as a one foot diameter hole was punched directly throught the redshirt. Before anyone can react the flesh of the redshirt's face begins to melt and flow like putty as he screams soundlessly. Finally he collapses onto the ground, his corpse igniting with lurid black flames which reduce him to ashes in a matter of moments. Pun-Pun turns to the second redshirt.

Pun-Pun: So do you have a problem with kobolds?

Redshirt 2: No...

Pun-Pun snatches the redshirt by the collar and lifts him off the ground. (despite being shorter than the redshirt)

Pun-Pun: When speaking you will refer to me as GOD! Is that understood?!

Redshirt 2: Yes God...
Gladius_Lucix

07-07-06, 05:41 PM		Liam was just about to leave for a little break from working on the power system, when all the alarms in the room go off.

Liam: That's the overload alarm. The system should be able to handle everything on the ship, up to and including Kanatash. What's going on?

Liam looks at the primary display, tracking all Weir/Insan signatures on the ship. By the size and color, he was able to recognise everyone, down to the lowest redshirt, after a few days. There were a few new signatures, but one stood out, due to the fact that it was at the same time greater than Kanatash's and as utterly null as a newly made stool.

Liam: I think I better have a look, from a safe distance.

He turns to a crystal ball set next to it, often used to learn the names and faces of new crew. As soon as the area of the distortion came into focus, the ball turned a deep blue, with strings of magical runes across it.

Liam: Well, this seems to be bad.

Liam turns off the Weir/Insan converter and moves quickly to spread the word throughout the crew.

----------
OOC: If you didn't follow, Pun-Pun's various scrying protections Blue-Screened Liam's Crystal Ball.
luna18moon

07-07-06, 06:33 PM		OOC: luna18moon, Caralot is currently off the ship, visiting her home dimension and will not be back until Terra and Lisa are aboard again. She cannot even begin to come home until Silver finds her and tells her that Ariajni has been defeated.

Sorry, I forgot about that. However, I'm to lazy to go back and change the entire intro, so Slaypaw might not officialy exist until Caralot comes back... Either that or it was a clone.
cypher_zero

07-07-06, 07:56 PM		OOC: Wow. I didn’t even think that post got up but not even 24 hours and it’s already developing nicely. Like I said, vacation internet sux, but I’m home now so let the insanity continue!

OOC: What's the deal with everyone wanting to hook up Satnak all of a sudden?
I’d actually been planning this for quite a while, but I had to wait for an appropriate time to bring it about. As far as to why I decided to do this, Terrek already said it for me. I noticed a while ago, as I was reading through the old posts, that Satnak is the most powerful character on the ship and no one dares challenge her. This is all well and good when the crew all have a common enemy, but as far as plotting against Satnak goes, it becomes relatively impossible. The second problem is that if you create a character more powerful than Satnak to keep her in check then you just have the same problem, different character. This way, Satnak may still be all powerful, but will have some kind of measure to restrain her actions where the rest of the crew feels that it’s necessary. The other thing is that, relative to the Ubers, Serene isn’t all that powerful, so there’s no way that Satnak could perceive her as a threat.

OOC: Its like a bad soap opera in here. Who else is having fun?
This is gold. How could you not be having fun? Truth be told, I’m giddy like a schoolgirl (cause they’re my characters). I love this s**t!
That said, onto the story!

(OOC: btw, I love the line you gave Terrek here; fits him perfectly! :evillaugh )
Terrek - Go bother Sa'vor; he remade a whole species.

Kithle - I know Sa'vor he would never try to control his children the way you seem to be. Is Serene a person or a string of programming?
IC:

Terrek: Hold on. Let me make sure no one can hear us. (Waves hands, says arcane words, etc.) Ok, here’s the deal. First off, the only reason either of you know about this is because I let you. I’m a god on my own plane and hence nothing happens there without my say so. I figured I wasn’t the only one that realized that Satnak can’t be allowed to just run rampant; hence I allowed you two to understand what was going on. Second, Serene is her own person. I programmed her base personality and created her from the bottom up from the brain-dead body of Jonny the Retarded Illithid. She is entirely my creation and in a very literal way, my daughter. I decided that she should carry my highly advanced genetics. She is what a female version of me would look like without all of my grafts, but she is indeed her own person. Her personality and life are her own now and she will develop on her own. Third, I hold no direct control over her actions now. While I did program her to look at me as a father figure; and hence trust me more than “just as a creator;” I do not have any means of directly controlling her actions outside of the normal magic at my disposal. Fourth and lastly, I wouldn’t want to control her directly. Though I usually keep myself emotionally detached from my various projects, I’ve put so much time and effort into creating her that I can’t help but harbor fatherly feelings toward her; she does after all carry my genes. The other thing is, provided she and Satnak do fall in love as I intended, I definitely don’t want to control her. If I did, Satnak would certainly find out and then, not only would the plan fail, but Satnak would try and kill me. Worse, she might succeed despite my recent power acquisitions.

In short, no I’m not controlling Serene and yes she is her own person. Anything else?

-----------

Satnak - Levy is my adopted big sister, and for the last ten years she was the love of my life. Recently I told her about my feelings and she didn't feel for me in the same way. She's still my sister and friend, but it’s hard. I gotta visit her soon, just as soon as I can look her in the eye and call her sister without breaking down.
-------------------
OOC: Cypher Zero your up for her response.
OOC: LOL! You just had to make this hard didn’t you? Or are you just that interested in seeing how this plays out? I just created her, so I’m not even sure what she would say yet. I’ll have a reply sometime later today hopefully. Till then…
.
rampant

07-07-06, 08:38 PM		OOC: Yes this is gonna be rough, Satnak has serious issues (like you didn't know). Trust me I'm gonna make everyone suffer :D MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Satnak - Whats this?

OORampant - RUN AWAY!

Silver - Geeze your lazy reusing a joke like that.

OORampant - Dammit I told you people to stay out of my .... I'm in the nintendo convention aren't I

Silver - Yep

OORampant - Oh ****.

Random conventioner - I smell Play station on this one, EAT HIM ALIVE.

-------------------------
Kithle - No thats fine, I just wanted to make sure i understood the situation, before certain ametuers set Satnak off on the rampage to end to end all rampages.

Volrath - Why are you looking at me?

Kithle - You know that projection trick your using?

Volrath - Yeah ...

Kithle - This is going to hurt.

Volrath - :eek:
-----------------------

Kithle - and that is why I don't do use that anymore the counter is visciously unpleasant.

Terrek - Was It completely necesarry to send him to that (shudder) place?

Kithle - Probably not, but he needs to learn not to get in over his head like that.

------------------------

Barney - Lets be friends.

Volrath - When your lock breaks kithle i will have revenge.

Volrath's projected mind is trapped in the barney universe until the spell runs out. The duration is in hours.
urial angel of death

07-07-06, 08:41 PM		Volrath: If she carries your genes then any mechanical alterations would be counter-productive.

Terrek: Exectally.

Volrath: So I should go take that equipment back from Ketler, as soon as I get back to the ship?

Terrek: Probably.
cypher_zero

07-07-06, 08:47 PM		OOC: Just so you know: Even though Serene is only a level 14 bard, with Terrek's genetics she's like a CR 20 at least. Not quite Uber, but not a wimp either.

Oh and I've added her to the Wiki.

EDIT: Query: At what point in time do I count as a main contributor?
.
Rei32491

07-07-06, 09:05 PM		The portal opens and the group steps out, what they see stuns them. There is a huge castle made out of adamantine.

Nalfein: Wow. Well…that cancels out the possibility of breaking through a wall...

Volrath: You think?

Nalfein: …shut up.

Volrath: Anyway, What should we do now?

Nalfein: Let’s look for a gate first.

When they find it, they see it is protected by a Phaethon.

Volrath: Well sh*t.

Nalfein: I know, how are we-

He is caught in mid sentence at the sight of Jonny sneaking up to the Phaethon, humming his own theme music. Off tune. When the Phaethon looks over at him, Jonny stops in mid stride, holding the note he was on. The Phaethon seems not to see him, and is confused by the humming.

Nalfein: Uh…?

Volrath: Don’t ask.

When it looks away, Jonny floats up to the Phaethon’s head and latches on with all four of his tentacles and sucks out its brain.

All: :OMG!

Jonny: JONNY DO GOOD! :D

In his excitement, Squinty accidentally shoots a beam from his eyes that blows Jonny’s head up.

Volrath: Oh for the love of... :mad: Bad Squinty. *smacks him with a newspaper*

OOC: This Jonny is another clone. I think it's like number 20 million or something.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-07-06, 09:15 PM		OOC: Yes this is gonna be rough, Satnak has serious issues (like you didn't know). Trust me I'm gonna make everyone suffer :D MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Satnak - Whats this?

OORampant - RUN AWAY!

Silver - Geeze your lazy reusing a joke like that.

OORampant - Dammit I told you people to stay out of my .... I'm in the nintendo convention aren't I

Silver - Yep

OORampant - Oh ****.

Random conventioner - I smell Play station on this one, EAT HIM ALIVE.
OOcat: Score.

Silver: :D Maybe this isn't so bad. Bet Bunny would have loved to see that. Wonder what he's doing right now?
******
Bunny: Hey, cool, you're a god too!

Terrek: :bored: Should I ask how you got in here?

Bunny: Not unless you have the ability to not think.

Terrek: Can anyone do that?

Bunny: Hippy Kantash could. The captain can. My Entity from Beyond Non-existance can.

Terrek: Does being a god help me?

Bunny: In your case it makes it worse. You think too much. If I tell you and your think about it it doesn't make sense. If you don't think at all it makes perfect sense.

Terrek: :crazy: Well at least I know you're not a threat.

Bunny: Hasn't stopped some other people.………So, I was thinking we could form a God Club. You know, like an officer's club, where we discuss how much work and toil and just plain drudgery goes into being a god. Membership includes Silver, me, Word Being, and you.

Terrek: What about Kantash? Or :coolcthul?

Bunny: I was thinking about people who have to deal with the paperwork of being a god, so to speak. Is :coolcthul that sort of being? There's no point in letting in every creatures with a cult. I mean some of these people don't know the first thing about being an actual force rather than having plans and ordering other people around. There really is a difference you know.

Terrek: So then you won't be letting Beryl in?

Bunny: Does being Queen of Demons make you a god? Might need to codify the definiton. But you qualify. So, you in?

OOC: I'll leave the response up the cypher_zero. If I brushed anyone off it's because I wanted to restrict myself to characters who've been textually identified as gods and not just as things like gods.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-07-06, 09:16 PM		EDIT: Query: At what point in time do I count as a main contributor?
OOC: Whenever you post it on the wiki. :D

EDIT: Actually………………whenever I post it on the wiki. :pint:
urial angel of death

07-07-06, 09:30 PM		OOC: I'll leave the response up the cypher_zero. If I brushed anyone off it's because I wanted to restrict myself to characters who've been textually identified as gods and not just as things like gods.

Cthulhu has been textually identified as a god in D&D terms in Call of Cthulhu d20. So he should be admitted unless Cthulhu and :coolcthul are separate creatures
Kaizer_Ryu

07-07-06, 09:40 PM		Lisa: Ok, that's Daanvi, Risia, Irian, and Thelanis down. What's next?

Terra: It's been almost a month of straight tourism. Maybe we could take a break from sight seeing and check out Terrek's place?

Lisa: I still don't trust him. However, we also know relatively little about him. I guess it wouldn't hurt to see what he does in his spare time...

Terra: He claims he's a god there, but I have to see it myself. I mean, I'm practically all powerful in the Plane of Shadow, but I never considered myself a goddess there. I have no desire, or right, to be worshipped.

Lisa: I just hope he doesn't ask for this 'favor' yet. Even though he did save your life, that'd be more than a little rude...
cypher_zero

07-07-06, 09:43 PM		OOC: ARRGH! so many plots converging... head hurts... must... keep... typing...
rampant

07-08-06, 01:10 AM		OOC: Screw logic.
-------------------------

Slaypaw - *shift* Meow (I am my cat)

Fluffy - Meow ( a cat with a built in humanoid... The golden age is come!! Bring me Cream and fish we will feast, the accursed lack of thumbs will hinder me no more!)

Slaypaw - Meow (this ...cat? is crazy... and ugly)
cypher_zero

07-08-06, 01:39 AM		Satnak - Levy is my adopted big sister, and for the last ten years she was the love of my life. Recently I told her about my feelings and she didn't feel for me in the same way. She's still my sister and friend, but it’s hard. I gotta visit her soon, just as soon as I can look her in the eye and call her sister without breaking down.
-------------------
OOC: Cypher Zero your up for her response.
Serene: That’s horrible! How could she just blow you off like that?

Satnak turns away to hide the tears welling up in her eyes.

Satnak: I… I don’t know…

There’s a slight pause as Satnak looks away, fighting back emotions she’d fought so hard to contain. Serene looks on, not quite sure what to say. She lets her hand fall onto Satnak’s shoulder and begins singing. She begins with a low tune, slow and somber almost heartbreaking in its sadness, then brings it up and quickens the pace after a moment; a song of renewal. It lasts only a moment, but it’s powerful enough to give Satnak pause. She turns back to Serene with tears visible on her face. She wipes them a way and smiles at Serene with a look of genuine thanks on her face.

Satnak: Thanks... I needed that.

Serene takes Satnak’s hand between her own and holds it tight. She smiles brightly and looks deep into Satnak’s eyes.

Serene: I’m here for you if you ever need anything. Just let me know.

Satnak: I… thanks. Now c’mon, there’s a lot more of the ship to see…

----

Bunny: Does being Queen of Demons make you a god? Might need to codify the definition. But you qualify. So, you in?
Terrek: First of all, my godly status only applies when I’m on my own plane. Second, what exactly would this little club entail? What would we do? Sit around and b*tch about how hard it is to be all-powerful? Third, what’s the catch? There’s always a catch (or at least there is with me) so what is it?

OOC: I’m going to point out here that I don’t actually think there is a catch, but Terrek would so…
Anyways, I’ll post the thing with Terra and Lisa on Terrek’s plane later today.
.
rampant

07-08-06, 02:03 AM		Satnak - This is Devon head of sonic warfare offensive and interrogation departments.

Serene - So he is a cunning sound mage?

Satnak - No just a really truly awful musician and poet.

Devon - I think I'm improving, hows this one, Silence thought it was great: A perfect drop of despair/Coiling darkness rides the air......(the rest has been edited due to geneva violations)

Serene - ow

Satnak - NO!

Satnak slams Devon accross the deck.

Serene - Why did you hit him?

Satnak - He was hurting you. I told Terrek I'd take care of you, I intend to do so... besides you helped me out back there after Earl.
cypher_zero

07-08-06, 02:09 AM		Serene: But you shouldn’t just hit someone like that, he could be hurt and he wasn’t trying to hurt anyone. Besides *sudder* I’m alright.
.
rampant

07-08-06, 02:48 AM		Satnak - but...

Devon - My world is pain.

Satnak - Oh shut your trap all i did was smash your shoulder bone.

Serene - Your being cruel. Here *cure serious wounds*.

Devon - Oh thats much better, thank you milady.

Serene - So formal, my name is Serene.

Devon - Lady Serene, it is my pleasure.

Serene - -giggle- no just Serene.

Satnak - (i.h.h. shes got a cute laugh) I'm showing her around for her pop.

Devon - huh?

Satnak - She's terrek's kid.

Devon - (gets pale) Silence will be wondering where I've been. *yoink*

Serene - Silence?

Satnak - Powerful Binder, has a decent open palm strike, reads really bad poetry. Sort of his girlfriend I guess, don't see her much outside the bar anymore.

Serene - the bar? is that next?

Satnak - (if she reacted like that to a little broken shoulder...) Um not today. Not for you first day onboard. Its kind of rough. OH theres Death Paper, have you ever seen a squirrel city?
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-08-06, 07:03 AM		Terrek: First of all, my godly status only applies when I’m on my own plane. Second, what exactly would this little club entail? What would we do? Sit around and b*tch about how hard it is to be all-powerful? Third, what’s the catch? There’s always a catch (or at least there is with me) so what is it?
Bunny: Doesn't matter. You're a god somewhere. You have to deal with it all. That counts. This is a club for those people who have to deal with being forces that control an aspect of a universe somewhere. Doesn't have to be here or even now. I mean, does :coolcthul actually do anything around here. No. But it counts because it's a god somwhere else.
What would we do and what's the catch? They're one and the same. You come and you spout off all the things that make being a god suck: the people you create and how stupid they are, how much preparation time and paperwork it takes just to make one extra plane, how it's so distracting to have this worship of you going on all the time, how many underlings you have to create and delegate to who are just if not more incompetant than the people, etc., and the places where you cut corners on all of it. You come, you say how you keep failing at it, we all do the same, then we pass around humor to reassure ourselves that existance is fuitile, it always will be, so we might as well focus on having a good time at it's expense.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-08-06, 07:10 AM		While passing through Risia, Terra and Lisa hear a noise near one of the snowier slopes.

Noise: Wa-hoo! Powder's up, dude!

They see that same Illithid go by on a snowboard, wearing a puffy jacket, wool cap, and tinted goggles. It leaps into the air and does a complete 1080 triple front-flip. As it does the symbol of Thyrs is visible on a chain around its neck.
Chrys

07-08-06, 08:49 AM		Nalfein are Volrath standing in front of the Floating castle that seems to keep pace with the other two ships. When P/Y/R Flies over.

P/Y/R: So are you just going to stand there or go in?

Volrath: Go in we were just trying to figure out why a Flying Castle has a moat…

Nalfein: I’m telling you there has to a be an evil vampire in there! All we have to is wait for his Son… Who because the vamp is stupid is name after his dad but spelled backwards; Then he fallow him in and loot it. And Evil Vampire don’t need reasons!

Volrath: Look I’m telling you Vampires can’t cross water! So he would be a prisoner in his own castle and his son would not be able to get in!

Nalfein: Well his son is only a half Vampire…

Volrath: oh well you should have said that.

P/Y/R: Ok when you guys are done decide witch of you is the Belmont and Van Helsing you can fallow me in.

Volrath: I’m Belmont your Helsing …

Nalfein: Fine.

All enter.
cypher_zero

07-08-06, 09:15 AM		Terrek: Alright, I’ll join your little “god club.” Just know that I still hold some reservations about it. Contact me later, right now though I have important things to attend to.

Terrek fades into the shadows and returns to his own plane.
.
urial angel of death

07-08-06, 09:24 AM		Volrath: On second thought I don't want to be Belmont.

Nalfien: Why not?

Volrath: Think about it. All of the Belmonts are either scantily clad women or men wielding whips and wearing leather skirts.

Nalfien: Oh.
rampant

07-08-06, 10:48 AM		Satnak - This is Fluffy, he's my cat.

Fluffy - Meow (who is this, mommy?)

Serene - I thought you said scaly mammals were creepy.

Satnak - I did, they are, he is. You don't chose your cat, it choses you. Fluffy this is Serene, I'm showing her around so no messing with her. I know full well who set fire to jarlots wardrobe last week.

Serene - Hello, Fluffy.

As Serene extends her hand to scrath his ears Fluffy takes a swipe at her and draws blood.

Fluffy - Merow (stay away from my mommy you *****)

Satnak - NO BAD FLUFFY, (holding the cat away from Serene) Are you okay? BAD FLUFFY, Do you need to go to the infirmary?, BAD KITTY NO FISH TONIGHT, NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM GET.

Serene - No, I'll be fine. *cure*

Satnak - Maybe thats enough for today.

Serene - Yes, perhaps, I'm a little tired.
---------------------------------------------

Outside Terrek's door.

Satnak - Terrek, open up *bangbang* don't make me tear this door down.

Terrek - What the-? Back already?

Satnak - Only so much of this ship a newbie can handle in one day.

Terrek - Yes, you have a point, your room is the first on the left Serene.

Serene enters.

As soon as her door shuts.

Satnak - YOU-

Satnak grabs Terrek,

Satnak - IMBECILE.

and swings him out into the hallway.

Satnak - What kind of parent are you? why would you bring someone so sweet, nice, and pret...why would you bring her here? Take her home, she can't stay here.

Terrek - Why not?

Satnak - I... We... She isn't safe here, she isn't mean enough, or strong enough.

Terreck - What If I contracted you as a boygaurd.

Satnak - I... I've already failed. I already, put her in danger.

Satnak drops Terrek and stalks down the halls.

Terrek - Oh crap I didn't sound proof Serene's door.
---------------------------------------------------

Serene - She hates me she wants me gone :weep: .

Terrek - Far from it, she is concerned for you. As am I, she said something about you being danger.

Serene - Her cat scratched me.

Terrek - That is troubling, normally that creature prefers its breath weapon powers to any mundane combat. Its unusual for it to lash out with deadly force right off the bat, unless its hunting.

Serene - Deadly it was just a cat scratch.

Terrek - Fluffy is half-green dragon, I've seen him take arms off. If he just scratched you it was a warning.

Serene - Why-?

Terrek - Fluffy thinks of Satnak as his surrogate mother, she's taken care of the little monster since it was a kitten. A child is always threatened by the possibility of a parent's new mate. Let Satnak take care of Fluffy, and cool off.
urial angel of death

07-08-06, 11:11 AM		Allen stands before a group of reshirts.

Allen: Pun-Pun has been sensed in the area. Now I must once again don the mantle of omnificer to protect this campaign setting from the power of Pun-Pun. Some of you will get hurt or even killed, but know that it will be a just cause that you are dying for. Together we will defeat Pun-Pun!
Crystalforged

07-08-06, 12:00 PM		Allen stands before a group of reshirts.

Allen: Pun-Pun has been sensed in the area. Now I must once again don the mantle of omnificer to protect this campaign setting from the power of Pun-Pun. Some of you will get hurt or even killed, but know that it will be a just cause that you are dying for. Together we will defeat Pun-Pun!
Redshirt: And are you expecting us to help you with this?

Allen: Of course! Together we shall bring an down the abomination!

Redshirt: Uh, that's nice but no.

Allen: :confused:

Redshirt: Look, it's like this. Pun-Pun say's we're all supposed to worship him like a god... (an ominous rumbling is heard in the distance) ...like the god that he is, which is more or less the treatment we get from most of the crew anyways. However in his benificence he also promises to protect us, every now and then, if he feels like it, which is still more than we get from the crew normally. In other words screw off.
Rei32491

07-08-06, 12:06 PM		Nalfein are Volrath standing in front of the Floating castle that seems to keep pace with the other two ships.
OOC: :confused: Why are they here and not where they were before? Nalfein can't do the projection thing like Volrath.
Chrys

07-08-06, 12:17 PM		OOchrys: They telported there didn't they?

P/Y/R: Hell-o Is there any one in here?

Volrath: Shhh, some one might hear you!

Nalfein: Yeah most likely it be the First Boss… Some Giant Bone Bag, that chucks bits of its self at us.

Volrath: Or a Giant Flying suit of armor and throws swords at us.

P/Y/R: What In the Nine Hells are you guys talking about.

Layla: I don’t think we have any fly armors but I could have Orcus get a giant skeleton for you if you want.

Nalfein are Volrath: Gaah!

P/Y/R: Don’t mind them, I’m P/y/R, this is My Boyfriend Volrath… and that guy who he hangs out with… I think he is a wizard or something, he has a doggie for an pet.

Nalfein: I’m Nalfein! For the Love of all things magical why can’t you remember my name!

Volrath: Who are you and why do you look like Lisa?

Layla: I’m Layla and it’s because she is my sister. HE sent me to Dreadhold when I was five… And I was there till My mistress Beryl took me in to her service.

P/Y/R: Oh you know my Mommy? is she here?

Volrath: another sister?

Nalfein: … I can bend time and cast great and terrible spells but I can’t make her Remember my name!

Layla: Yeah She is in her throne room, I’ll give you guys the tour.
Rei32491

07-08-06, 12:25 PM		OOC: No, this is somewhere completely different. This is from way back after the C'tan, when Nalfein came back after getting the Book of the Stilled Tongue from Greyhawk. I had put it off till after school was done due to time constraints, but by that time, too many things were in motion for them to leave.

This castle has nothing to do with anything else in the thread. It's not in any specific location in Eberron, because I came up with it and am too lazy to pick a location. If P/Y/R and Layla want to come along, they can, just follow my lead.
Chrys

07-08-06, 12:32 PM		OOCHrys damn well they can just vanish in to a poof of logic then :embarrass and I'll just put off the
tour til they get back.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-08-06, 01:04 PM		:coolcthul: Are we going to be inviting Pun-Pun?

Bunny: Unless he can show proof of being a god, no go.

Word Being: And power is no proof. Neither Bunny nor myself are more powerful than many of the übers here, but they are not gods.

:coolcthul: So what is this proof?

Bunny: Either they are able to mess wtih a fundamental function of the universe and have to to maintain its function, or they need to be recommended by an Entity from Beyond Non-existance.

:coolcthul: So I got in on just a recommendation? :weep:

Bunny: Don't look at me that way! :mad: You don't do anything around here except hang out with your hippy friends and occasionally attract the interest of passing animé girls. If we let you in for that we'd have to let Jarlot in for being a booze-drinking epic-lucky bastard.
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-08-06, 01:28 PM		Sa'vor stalked through the shadows of the lowerdecks. things where beggining to get complicated, now the redshirts had a vertible god protecting them. this Pun-Pun entity was powerful, and would probably protect them just to show the ubers its power. of course Sa'vor had other problems for the time being. he had followed the red-shirt with a shielded mind for some time, through the deeper lower decks and the accursed halls belonging to the darker creatures. the redshirt walked through these areas as if strolling through a field, these areas in wich even Sa'vor was on gaurd. no one knew what lurked in the Accursed halls, often this is where failed experiments where sent, the only people Sa'vor knew who braved these depths without hesitation where Tara, Naz'roth and Satnak. this redshirt was either very stupid or powerful beyond even Sa'vors limits.

The Redshirt raised a hand, a black suit of armour like Sa'vors appeared on his body. the gems within the armour where exactly the same. Sa'vor blanched now, he had walked strait into a trap.
the redshirt turned to face him, in his hands was a long curved Scythe like mind blade of black energy.
Redshirt: I am Vortis, serveant of an entity known as the The Dreamweaver.
i have come to demand your surrender.

Sa'vor: *manifesting his own Scythe* and if i refuse?

Vortis: that would be unfourtunate. since you would surely die.

Sa'vor: Lets test that shall we?

Vortis charged his Scythe sweeping down in a deadly arc. Sa'vor parried, sending a sparks of black energy into the shadows. Sa'vor Danced back, and switched his mind blade into the dual Kamas. Sa'vor walked up the walls as vortis moved brought a ferocious set of attacks towards Sa'vor, Sa'vor moved with unearthly grace. dodjing blow after blow. a particularly wild swipe caused Vortis to overbalance slightly. Sa'vor darted forwards slashing at vortis's chest and legs, Vortis attemted a counter attack but Sa'vor evaded and moved back into the defensive once again. Vortis brought his Scythe down hard Savor dodged but not fast enough, crimson blood flowed from a nasty wound in Sa'vors shoulder. Sa'vor was hit by another blow before he had time to recover, this knocked him Sprawled onto the floor. Vortis stood over Sa'vor a evil grin upon his face. he brought the Scythe down in a deadly arc.

Time slowed down around Sa'vor as he reached within himself to his power, all the hate, anger and fear of his childhood flowed into him as he drew on his eldritch power. Sa'vor unleashed a lance of dark energy into his foe, the blast knocked Vortis of his feet and through a wall. Sa'vor rose, Eldritch power sparking through his fingers. Sa'vor unleashed a ball of black flames into his prone foe, followed by a stream of lightning. Sa'vor unleashed wave after wave of arcane energy into his foe, the crackeling power coursing through him. Sa'vor unleashed a blast of mental energy on the still prone Vortis. Sa'vors attack ceased and he put on a defensive stance once more, Vortis rose, his black armour red hot in place's. Vortis flexed the sickening sound of bones snapping back into place pierced the air, Vortis made an arcane symbol with his hands and sent forth a bolt of lightning. it smashed into Sa'vor, who merely winced. Vortis motioned to prepare another one, Sa'vor struck with a searing lance of light that pierced Vortis's chest. Sa'vor saw his foe drop into a crumpled heap. Sa'vor reached into his mind and unleashed a wave of crystaline shards and energy bolts into the body. then he picked up the fiening Vortis with his telekentic powers, he slambed Vortis into the walls repeatedly until his mangled form dropped to the floor. dead.

Sa'vor walked over to the corpse. perhaps it would still serve a use. sa'vor unleashed a wave of healing energy into it, Vortis coughed and spluttered. Sa'vor palced a hand on Vortis's head and drew Vortis's Soul into him. then Sa'vor prepared one of his darker spells, he became ethereal and possessed Vortis's empty husk. now he flexed Vortis's arms, these would suit him for now. he quickly took control of the redshirts body. then he unsummoned the armour, Sa'vor then drew on Vortis's knowledge and found many intresting things there. as well as some very dark magics. Sa'vor raised a hand and created a duplicate of his own form, this was more than a simple illusion. it was a fully formed and emty clone. Sa'vor launched a lightning bolt at the clone, killing the body with more and more blasts of magic Sa'vor smiled.
his own fake death was finished, now he could infiltrate the Kobolds cult. as well as the ranks of the Redshirts.
cypher_zero

07-08-06, 02:45 PM		OOC: Beautifly done!
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-08-06, 02:48 PM		OOC: Aren't we getting close to the point at which Charles is supposed to start a new thread for this stuff?
*******
IC: Sa'vor—having assumed Vortis's form—is surprised to see Mendova and NJ26 walking down one of the other halls. He hides so they do not see him.

NJ26: You mean you live here?

Mendova: I'm not a crew member. Had to take what I could get. Oh, hello :coolcthul.

:coolcthul: Hello Mendova.

Mendova: Off to your God Club meeting?

:coolcthul: As soon as we figure out a place to hold it. Oh, the quori are holding tonight's film in the Terrible Hungry Beast's room.

Mendova: Same film? Jarlot Begins?

:coolcthul: In 3-D no less.
*****
On a sign outside Erk's Place:
"Tonight we have our second 'Really Stupid Song' contest. Can anyone defeat our champion Genghis Khan and his 'I'm Too Sexy (For My Yurt)'?"
OOC: Whatever happened to hippy—>emo Kantash?
Kaizer_Ryu

07-08-06, 02:52 PM		OOC: Whatever happened to hippy—>emo Kantash?He became Flamite Kanatash, a militant Silver Flame worshipper. Jarlot also swore that he would kill him before that story arc ended, so maybe that's what happened. Other than that, I don't know.
Rei32491

07-08-06, 03:11 PM		The group enters the castle and they see that it is heavily guarded by Pseudonatural Trolls, Mithril Golems, Adamantine Golems, Infernals, two Worms that Walk, and a few Titan Elders walking around the halls.

Volrath: Does it seem like your Entity just found a list of Epic level monsters and went nuts without regard for their habitat or ecology?

Nalfein: SHHH!!!!! He can hear us…

Volrath: But, he can only hurt you, right? My entity should protect me…

OOUrial: Well…

Volrath: …we’re boned, aren’t we?

Nalfein: Most likely.

So the group starts to walk down the hall with the Infernals. When they get to the room they start to sneak around them, they almost get to the other side of the room without the Infernals seeing them, when Klaz walks up to one of them.

Klaz: Ok, folks. I’m gonna try an’ touch ‘im. Remember, I’m a professional, which means I’m an idiot.

Klaz then reaches out and touches the Infernal (getting his hand burned in the processes).

Klaz: CRIKEY THAT’S HOT!!!

The Infernals notice him and surround him.

Klaz: :eek:

Volrath: Should we help?

Nalfein: Yeah. Not because I like him, but because we need cannon fodder.

Volrath: Good point.

So when the Infernals start to close in on Klaz, the party starts to attack them one by one. The first few go down quickly, but then they start to organize against the group.

Nalfein: (taking one) Well sh*t.

Volrath: (taking three) Stop whining.

Nalfein: I’m not whining!

Volrath: :rolleyes: Sure your not.

Nalfein: :mad: I’M NOT A WHINER!

Cuddles: (taking one with Steve) Don’t make me come over there!

Muradin: (taking another) Me think we run should.

Volrath: Good idea.

The group knocks the Infernals back and start running down the hallway, but when they reach the entrance, they hear an alarm sound and running noises.

Nalfein: Just what we need, more people on our ass.

Volrath: Shut up and keep running.

The group runs for about a minute, and then they come to a four-way hall. They look for a clear hall, but in the cross hall they see the worms that walk, in the west hall they see the Pseudonatural Trolls, the east they see the golems, and behind are the remaining Infernals.

Nalfein: Where do we go?

Volrath: I don’t kn-

He stops because he feels something at his feet, when he looks down he sees a Shape of Fire bound in the floor.

Volrath: Son of a b*tch.

Nalfein, Muradin, Steve, Klaz, Vrin, and Squinty take up positions near the entrances of the four halls, while Volrath, Cuddles, and Pholly start to hack at the S.O.F.

Volrath: (after a few seconds) I can’t see. Are we boned?

Nalfein: Yeah, we’re boned.

When the enemies are almost there, the three attacking the S.O.F finally manage to kill it, as soon as it dies, the floor gives and the group falls into a room below...
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-08-06, 03:55 PM		Marish walks into Erk’s Place. The place is it usual self: Mendova is wailing on someone, Cabin Boy is trying to explain the error of the patron’s way, and Jingo is going through his pockets. The good life. Marish increases the sway of her walk just to mess with the males and females—and a few beings Marish can’t gender-discern—just to hear the aptly named catcalls. She hops up on a stool at the bar and leans over.

Singing: “…Socrates himself is particularly missed…”

Lucky: Won’t work on me, Marish.

Marish: Come on! You were a male once, and you still have male tastes.

Lucky: Yeah, but now that I know what it’s like to be a woman that sort of stuff disgusts me.

Singing: “…when he’s ******!”

Marish: :censored:

Lucky: *sigh* So what lovesick sucker is going to be paying for your drinks tonight?

Marish scanned the room. Something was starting to bother her. A piece was missing.

Singing: “…who was just as sloshed as Slchegel.…”

Marish: Hey, Bruce Ki isn’t here. He’s always here.

Lucky: Funny story, that. You see, he got into an argument with Chuck Jarlot about who was the cooler martial artist.

Marish: *gasp* Oh, poor th……I thought Satnak killed him?

Singing: “…Hobbes was fond of his dram…”

Lucky: It’s impossible to kill Chuck Jarlot.

Marish: Well, it’s too bad for Bruce—

Lucky: He just got a warning roundhouse to the head.

Marish: Huh? Then where is he?

Lucky: Well, you see, that kick knocked his voice back in line with his mouth. Turned out he has a accent like Klaz’s. Stopped being so much of a martial artist and started wearing kakis.…

Singing: “…Hidegger, Hidegger was a boozy beggar…”

Lucky: …Then this group of guys, all calling themselves Bruce and having the same accent come in. They order a whole lot of beer, then sing a song about philosophers and drink.…

Singing: “And Reneé Decartes was a drunken fart…”

Lucky: …Bruce Ki joins in, and when they’re done they invite him to teach at their college Walla…lola…something containing a lot of “ll” and “roo”. Said it didn’t matter who he was, so long as he wasn’t a “poofta”.

Singing: “…’I drink therefore I am!’ ”

Lucky: As you can see, the song’s gotten popular.
cypher_zero

07-08-06, 04:12 PM		OOC: Btw, I've updated the Wiki with quick-links at the bottom of all the main pages to make site navigation easier. It was really a pain before.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-08-06, 07:00 PM		OOC: Btw, I've updated the Wiki with quick-links at the bottom of all the main pages to make site navigation easier. It was really a pain before.It does help, thanks.

:bigeyes: :bigeyes: Will you be starting the visit to Terrek's plane soon? :bigeyes: :bigeyes:
rampant

07-08-06, 07:13 PM		OOC: Can someone post a link or something to the wiki Please? I seem to have lost track of it somewhere, and I can't find it again. Thanks
-------------------------
Satnak - Fluffy I'm very angry at you... When I am watching out for someone these are the kinds of things that I'm supposed to prevent.

Fluffy - Meow ( she's nothing more than a 2g *****, you don't need her around )

Satnak - Don't you meow me. I accepted a responsibility to keep Serene safe for a time, and you attacked her. I know what your play scratches look like, they don't involve extending the claw that far. Besides that she's a genuinely nice person who didn't desrve that. In addition to reciving no fish with your supper, you take duty as the squirrels' training beast for the next week. At the end of that time you will apologize to both Serene and Terrek.

Fluffy - meow ( yes mommy ) (i.h.h. I will not let anyone come between me and my Mommy!)
Paulon

07-08-06, 07:16 PM		http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Main_Page
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-08-06, 09:12 PM		It does help, thanks.

:bigeyes: :bigeyes: Will you be starting the visit to Terrek's plane soon? :bigeyes: :bigeyes:
Illithid: But dude, there's, like, nothing fun there to shre—

OOcat: Let me remind you that since you haven't been established as a character yet, I am allowed to hurt you.

Illithid: Okay, dude, chill.
******
Silver stands in the middle of a Lord of the Rings convention.

Silver: Okay, at least I'm now being mistaken for the right species—I'M NOT WEARING A COSTUME YOU MORON! THAT WHY IT'S NO GOOD!
cypher_zero

07-09-06, 01:53 AM		OOC: I'll post the thing with them on his plane in the morning. I already know most of what I'm gonna do, but i need to sleep now so yea...
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-09-06, 05:57 AM		Naz'roth stood on his dark balcony, surveying his troops. it was good to have his old legions back. he had spent centuaries forgeing them into an army that rivaled anything that the Celestials or any other entity could create, amungst them terrifying ancheint undead formed into blocks.
Naz'roth Barked an order and his legion formed into Regimentes, at a second order they formed into standard battle organisation. skirmishers on the flanks, spear and pike at front. behind them where standard warriors, in front of the spear and pike was cannon fodder. Units of erinyes took to the sky and began to swirl above the Legion, Naz'roth bellowed another order and they took up defensive stances.
Naz'roth chuckled, even in their millenia of being imprisoned beneath the earth they'd never forgotten their training.
Naz'roth gave the final order and they disperssed into their training regiems.
it was then that Naz'roths Lieutenant approached his master,

Gazzul: its good to see you again master.

Naz'roth: *smileing* its good to see you again as well Gazzul, i've heard sterling reports about you from the other commanders. your young for a Daemon ( below Daemon lord and Rajah but above Demon) but during my imprisonment you have certanly proven yourself.

Gazzul: *bowing* why thank you my lord. i apologise for the fact we where unable to free you.

Naz'roth: quite alright, that would have drawn attention to our actions. via the way i escaped before it has bought us time to prepare for the Dragons attacks. and prepare we have.

Gazzul: any orders my lord?

Naz'roth: begin to train our troop along side the Half-Dragon forces, i have taught those troops every trick in the book. and the our legions could do with learning things from the younger races, as well as providing some variaity amungst the Half-Dragon forces. but renember, on the battle field you all answer to your asigned lords wich will either be Me, Sa'vor, Tara or Feal-Thas. am i understood?

Gazzul: *salutes* Yes Sir!

Naz'roth: excellent.

Gazzul spread his wings and flew down to the troops below. Naz'roths smile lessened slightly. he Gazzul was the most loyal of his commanders, Naz'roth would need to keep their loyalty and show them once again that Naz'roth was thier leader. Naz'roth smiled, he wondered what the demon lords under Beyrl would think at seeing this legion. this was a proper army, not a rag tag horde like most demon forces. Naz'roth frowned, he had the feeling that another battle would be on the horizon. once again the stakes would be high, one again Naz'roths power would be tested. Naz'roth nodded. so be it.
rampant

07-09-06, 11:37 AM		Satnak - Terrek, .. Serene, i want to apologize for yesterday, ... and finish showing Serene around. Come on open up.

Terrek - I've never seen her like this, normally she'd be busting down the door.

Serene - (opening door) You don't need to apologize for your cat, its a cat they do these things.

Satnak - Fluffy is smarter than-

Terrek - Where would you be going today?

Satnak - I was thinking the mess hall, and maybe introducing her to Chalky, roosevelt, and Martha, also does she need to be registered with Squishy and Tabitha...You might want to talk to Kanatash or at least make sure she has something to help ward off his mental probes. ... I have an old training jammer she could use,... but they make it hard to think.

Serene - Training Jammer?

Terrek - Indeed, explain

Satnak - Its sort of a headband its fills your brain with static, the idea is to help us learn to focus, it has a nasty little protection installed, anyone tries probing your thoughts while your wearing one, they get a massive load of static all at once. No one's sure whether its to designed to protect people using it while they might be more vulnerable, or whether its just a quirk of the design.

Serene - I don't like the sound of that.

Satnak - No one does.

Terrek - I have a few charms that will keep him off for a while. Here Serene (hands her a plain circular pendant).

Satnak - OK the-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Satnak's gemstone eyes blaze with grey light, the traceries along her body flash, she drops to the floor and passes out from pain.

Serene - Satnak..., Satnak no..., Wake up :weep:

Terrek - It will be ok, calm down.

Serene - she's hurting, she could be dying!

Terrek - No, she's growing.

Serene - What?

Serene manages to manuever Satnak's unconcious form onto a couch and shut the door.

Terrek - Not too long before I first arrived here, she began a process to push her physical and mental power beyond the limits of her humanoid body. Not long before you were born the process began in earnest and her eyes and skin changed. I don't know what other canges accompany them, but i do know the process is supposed to be insanely risky, and overwhelmingly Painful. It seems she had just managed to get the pain under control, when the next step began and overloaded her.

Serene - Is that why she is so angry and sad? she's in pain.

Terrek - Its certainly part of it, but from all acounts she was like that when she came on board, even before Levy turned her down.

Serene - There is something deeper?

Terrek - In all likely hood yes.

----------------
OOC : Thanks for the link Paulon

Silver - You still have some teeth in your skin from the smash bros. aisle.

OORampant : Damn I thought I got those out before we passed the Uruk-hai.
Crystalforged

07-09-06, 02:10 PM		Somewhere below decks. Pun-Pun stands on a raised dais as what is left of the FF's entire redshirt compliment prostrate themselves before him. (those which have refused him have all been hunted down for sport)

Pun-Pun: I AM KNOW NO LIMITS, I FEAR NOTHING, MY POWER IS INFINITE, MY WORD IS LAW, I AM INFINITE, I AM YOUR GOD!

Redshirts: (chanting) Praise the magnificent one.

Pun-Pun: YOUR PUNY LIVES ARE INSIGNIFICANT IN THE FACE OF MY PERFECTION BUT THEY SHALL BE SPARED IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR SERVICE.

Redshirts: (chanting) Praise the magnificent one.

Pun-Pun: I WILL- (pauses in mid sentence, sniffing the air)

Random Redshirt: (nervously) What is wrong of magnificent one? Have we done something to (shudder) displease you?

Pun-Pun: No, you may live for now. I have just caught the scent of a truly succulent meal. Flesh as pure as that of a newborn child. Tell the others to go about their duties, this should not take long. (stalks out of the room)

---

Back in Terrek's dimension. Satnak is still writhing in pain while Terrek and Serene do what they can for her. Suddenly the door to the realm is smashed down and Pun-Pun steps through it.

Pun-Pun: (glancing at Serene) Ah, there's the tender morsel I sensed.

Terrek: (stepping in front of Serene) Now wait a second, you can't just go bursting into my person realm like this.

Pun-Pun: Actually I can.

Terrek: I have the power of a GOD in this place. Certainly you don't think-

Pun-Pun cuts him off by punching Terrek in a "sensitive" area which his three foot frame is perfectly adapted to strike. (kidneys people, kidneys, get your mind out of the gutter ;) )

Terrek: (Whimper)

Pun-Pun: (tossing Terrek aside like a rag doll) You think the power of a mere GOD could impress me? I am Pun-Pun, I am infinite! (grabbing Serene)

Serene: :eek: EEEEK!

Pun-Pun: (licking his lips) Yes, you will prove a tasty morsel, all that I require is a good marinade and perhaps a garnish.

Satnak: (still writhing in pain) Won't... let... you do.... Grrrr. fight.... KILL... pain... dismember... defile... kill...

Pun-Pun: (throws his head back and laughs maniacally) You DARE challenge me weak thing? You amuse me I think, fine you shall have your challenge. When we are done I will allow you die, but not before you beg for it. (smiling evilly) Until the appointed hour.

Pun-Pun vanishes without theatrics, taking Serene with him to points unknown.



OOC: If you guy's don't mind I've got some ideas now and I'd like to run with this plot. I will be having an "open mike" period, so to speak, in the middle of the fight so you can toss in bits of your own. I should warn you I'm going to turn this into a bit of a spoof on a boxing/pro wrestling match. Boxing because I have a bunch of bad puns and cliché’s from Rocky bouncing around in my head at the moment, and Pro Wrestling because it seems to fit the style of the combatants.
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-09-06, 02:32 PM		Sa'vor had succesfuly infiltrated Pun-Puns cult, posing as the redshirt formerly known as "Vortis". Sa'vor marvelled at the ease in wich the redshirts moved around the ship, as long as they knew the right hiding places they where able to aviod the ubers by use of secret passages and cubbyholes. now Sa'vor knew these places he could learn to use them to his advantage, of course he would have to keep his knowledge of them secret. there was no need letting the other ubers catch on.

Sa'vor had spent the day doing menial labour, such as swabbing the deck. he was slightly upset about how little impact his "death" had made on the rest of the crew. or perhaps thats because they hadnt found the "body" yet. Sa'vor sighed, one advantage was having all of his normal power confined within a supposed "weak" shell. it was also grand not to have his usual worries and dutys to attend to, and to not have to worry about the plots and thoughts of other ubers and scum. Sa'vor moved through the shadows of the deck attending to his duties as a serveant of Pun-Pun. occasionaly he would bump off one of Pun-Puns other serveants. often by crushing their minds from the shadows, there was no need to draw attention to himself just yet...

Sa'vor got up, it would be almost time to appear at Erks. of course he would have to keep down suspicions. all of the redshirt population visited Erks at one time or another, Sa'vor found that it was a an intresting atmosphere. within the bar it was easy for him to probe the minds weakned by Alcohol without drawing any suspicion that Sa'vors normal form often did. Sa'vor smiled, he could almost get used to this new form.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-09-06, 02:58 PM		OOC: While cypher finishes with his bit, I'll tell you a bit about what they did in Thelanis, the Faerie Court. :angelhide

Terra and Lisa float lazily on their backs in a lake. Terra wears a one piece swimsuit, drawing Lisa's eye as it accentuates her lithe figure, while Lisa in return drives her crazy in a bikini. Lush forest and the twinkling of stars frame the crystal clear waters. A light breeze brings the scent of flowers as they watch the clouds drift by.

Lisa: It feels like I could stay like this forever...

Terra: Had I thought to ask where she was, we could have visited P/Y/R's other mother.

Lisa: Maybe next time.

After a while, they get out of the water and head to the camp site they had set up. After dinner, they lay in each others arms, listening to the soft crackle of the magical fire. Terra nuzzles up to Lisa's chest, listening to her heart beat softly as Lisa kisses her head.

Terra: I love you so much.

Lisa: I love you too.

After a moment, Terra looks up with a mischievous look on her face.

Lisa: *playfully* What's on your mind?

Terra: :smirk: Wanna try again?

Lisa: :embarrass :D Oh, you're incouragable! We don't even know if the last three dozen times were successful.

Terra: ;) Your point?

Lisa giggled softly. This honeymoon was proving to be quite a lot of fun, indeed...
urial angel of death

07-09-06, 03:07 PM		While falling Volrath grabs a hold of his head.

Nalfien: What's wrong now.

Volrath: Must shut off mental contact with Terra. It's too sickeningly cute.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-09-06, 05:14 PM		Volrath: Must shut off mental contact with Terra. It's too sickeningly cute.
OOcat: "Cute" sickening? :confused: Always makes me laugh. :rofl:

Silver: Terra and Lisa are WHAT?!:eek: :headexplo Curse you! CURRRRRRRRRRSE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!:mad:……:blink:……:confused: How did we end up back at the Nintendo convention?

OOcat: I want to see if they've come up with any new Pokémon. :devil:
cypher_zero

07-09-06, 05:36 PM		OOC: OK, I’m going to point out here that Terrek’s room on the FF DOES NOT connect to his plane for this very reason. However, he and Serene were on the FF in his room at the time so it still works, they just weren’t on his plane. No one gets to Terrek’s plane without his say-so so I’d rather you didn’t try doing those kinds of things. It belittles his intelligence and takes away from the character as a whole. Also, Terrek isn’t a braggart or even remotely like your typical villain. He wouldn’t shout “I’m a GOD here!” he’d just smite you on the spot without even wasting the time to inform you of how stupid you are. Last thing: The laws of physics and magic and every other conceivable thing on Terrek’s plane exist as Terrek wishes them to be whenever he wishes them to be. This amounts to considerably more than God-like power, it means that he literally controls every aspect of reality at all times on his realm. Sa’vor, for instance, was powerless there, as would any other being that Terrek allows on unless otherwise stated by myself. It is worth noting that most gods do not affect the realms that they watch over directly working through proxy of their followers; especially on Ebberon. Hence, Terrek is considerably more than a god on his realm, but that’s the only real word for it. Just wanted to clear that up before anyone else tried anything along the lines of what Crystalforged posted. In short, Terrek’s plane IS terrek’s will manifest and hence that could never happen there. It still works, provided they’re on the FF at the time (which they are) it just couldn’t happen on Terrek’s plane.

EDIT: This is what I was going to explain when Terra and Lisa visited and is in fact why I wanted them to visit; so I’d have a textual reason to explain all this crap without having to resort to “DM mode.”
.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-09-06, 05:40 PM		Silver: Terra and Lisa are WHAT?!:eek: :headexplo Curse you! CURRRRRRRRRRSE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!:mad:OOC: This is so much fun it shouldn't be legal. :D

IC:

Terra: Isn't there anything you can do about the other Entities?

Lisa: Seriously. We never know when we're being watched.

OOKaizer: Unfortunately, there's not much. They're just as powerful as I am in general, though not as much where you two are concerned. I did set it up so that the other members of the crew can't see you by any direct means, though. Because of the empathic link, Volrath's the only existant one who has even the slightest idea what you two have been doing all night...

Terra: :D And morning.

Lisa: :D And afternoon.

Terra: :D And evening.

Lisa: :D For the last month.

OOKaizer: :embarrass Right. Since they don't exist, Bunny, Silver, and 13 are beyond my ability to block. But that also means no one's really spying on you.

Terra: That's a technicality at best.

Lisa: Not a very comforting one, either.

OOKaizer: The only thing else I could do is stop writing about it. But then, it doesn't happen.

Terra: ...

Lisa: ...

Terra: *sigh* Fine.

Lisa: Do as you wish.

OOKaizer: :D
urial angel of death

07-09-06, 06:34 PM		Volrath, still falling, gets a look of utter euphoria.

Nalfien: What is it now?

Volrath: I couldn't shut off the emaphetic link. Now I'm gland I didn't. :D

Nalfien: Eww.

Pholly: We sure have been falling for a long time.

Nalfien: Yeah, I guess my entity is just kinda lazy.
Rei32491

07-09-06, 06:46 PM		Nalfien: Yeah, I guess my entity is just kinda lazy.
OORei: Oh yea?

They hit the ground, Nalfein landing on his head.

Nalfein: That was uncalled for...

OORei: Then don't call me lazy. :P

Nalfein: Even if it's true?

OORei: Want me to have you land on a rock and crush your small sensitive balls?

Nalfein: ...I'll be good.

Most of the group is dazed. Volrath is the first on his feet, when he looks up he sees Tyranthraxus sitting on a throne.

Volrath: Hmm. I thought that he would be more imposing.

Nalfein: …Volrath, look.

Volrath looks down and sees the dagger he had thrown at Tyranthraxus when he was still in shadow form, on the floor, dead.

Volrath: :weep: You monster.

Muradin: (seeing Volrath cry) NO MAKE VOLRATH CRY! MURADIN SMASH!!!

Muradin holds his hammer in his teeth, picks up Pholly with one hand, pulls out a golf tee, sticks it into the ground (yes into adamantine), places Pholly on it (with out him exploding), takes his hammer and gets ready to swing.

Muradin: EIGHT!

Muradin hits Pholly with all the force he can muster, he goes flying at Tyranthraxus and when Pholly hits he explodes in ice, Pholly flies back and is knocked out, with only his eyebrows frozen. Tyranthraxus on the other hand is encased in a giant block of ice.

Nalfein: YES!

The ice cracks and shatters and Tyranthraxus stands unharmed.

Nalfein: Or no…

A big ice shard flies at Volrath, so he picks up Pholly as a shield. When the ice shard gets to Pholly, it goes right through him without hurting him and shoots right into the left side of Volrath’s chest.

Volrath: Dammit! If I had my heart in that would have killed me!

Nalfein: I thought that you can’t die?

Volrath: …your logic is irrelevant.

Tyranthraxus: I won’t waste time monologueing. All I will say is, Nalfein I want my ring back.

Nalfein: :confused: What ring? The only one I have is my Ring of Fire Resistance.

Tyranthraxus: It’s not just a Ring of Fire Resistance; it is the Ring of Wizardry 7.

Nalfein: …that would explain why I can cast so many 7th level spells...

Tyranthraxus: Your ancestors stole it from me. I will be taking it back when you’re de-

He stops when he sees Klaz is walking up to him while talking to Vrin holding the camera.

Klaz: Alright folks, this ‘ere’s a beaut of a specimen. ‘e’s one of the few thin’s to evah su'vive the legendary Pool o’ Radiance. As an even biggah treat, ‘e ‘ails from Forgotten Real-

Volrath: (smacks him) DON’T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!

Nalfein: Too late for that don’t you think?

Volrath: …shut up.

Klaz: (ignoring them) Right, now, I’m gonna try an’ touch ‘im. Now, don’ try this a’ ‘ome. Remembah, ahm a professional.

Vrin: Thus, insane.

Klaz: Exactly.

As he reaches out, Tyranthraxus grabs him and starts to crush him.

Klaz: AUGH! CRIKEY! VRIN! STOP FILMING AND HELP ME!!!

Vrin is cowering in the corner, still filming.

Volrath: I think that we should attack now.

Nalfein: I do to.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-09-06, 09:26 PM		Volrath: I think that we should attack now.

Nalfein: I do to.
Bunny: ……………… :bored: You're kidding, right?
******
Terra: *heavy breathing* Wow…I…didn't know…you could do that.

Lisa: *heavy breathing* Ah…:confused:…neither did I.

Terra: ……An Entity?

Lisa: That knows at least 6 different forms of female/female, including one that requires no phsyical contact whatsoever?

Terra: Wonder if it's Silver.

OOcat: 6? Must be a slow night for me.

Lisa and Terra: :eek:

OOcat: All right, let's go over them again, only this time try not to make so many faces. I can't concentrate when I'm :rofl:

Terra: You can't do this to us! :mad:

OOcat: What?? Having you try out different forms of :cloud9:?

Terra: :blink:………………Good point.

Lisa: :devil:

Terra: :mymy: :blush:
******
Silver: HEY! Why am I not allowed to do that?

OOcat: :bored: Exactly who was it that came up with spider/human?

Silver: Ehehehe. (anime sweatdrop)
Kaizer_Ryu

07-09-06, 09:57 PM		Lisa: :devil:

Terra: :mymy: :blush:
******
Silver: HEY! Why am I not allowed to do that?

OOcat: :bored: Exactly who was it that came up with spider/human?

Silver: Ehehehe. (anime sweatdrop)OOC: :rofl: on both counts.

IC:

Terra: *huff huff* Well...that's a new trick... :cloud9:

Lisa: I have to find some way to compensate for your multiple appendages, don't I?

Terra: *pant* I'd say you've more than accomplished that goal...

Lisa: :D

Terra: *pulls out her tentacles* But don't think I'm just gonna let you be better at :pile: than me... :devil:

Lisa: :eek: :inlove: :devil:
Rei32491

07-09-06, 10:07 PM		Bunny: ……………… :bored: You're kidding, right?OOC: What better time to attack than while he's distracted by the annoying little git? :devil: Don't worry, this won't be easy for them.
rampant

07-09-06, 10:20 PM		Satnak - Wah? HUH? TERREK! WHERE'S MY ROOM!?... :eek: oh no, BLOODY MOL NO!!!, I'M GONNA SKIN THAT LIZARD ALIVE AND DANCE IN THE BOOTS WHILE HE WATCHES!!!

-----------------
Bunny - Painful death senses tingling
------------------

Terrek - This isn't a kobold hunt. He's too tough, he smacked me out in one shot.

Satnak - *Glare* I can rip your internal organs out from here, with a thought. I can collapse space and time, and I know how to deal with beasts who pull this cliche.

Terrek - Its pun-pun

Satnak - I'd be more afraind of Meepo.

Satnak stalks out of the room, as she turns a white tail with the same grey pattern of macro-circuits as the rest of her skin is revealed.

Satnak - I owe you a new couch.
--------------------------------------------

In Satnak's room shelves overflow with training manuels, textbooks, trophys, and awards, one wall is covered in image crystals that activate upon mental command. Currently one is projecting the face of a young half-elven woman. Her eyes are the same intense brown that Satnak's once were, her hair is longer and lighter, but the look of determination forged in fires hell could never contemplate is the same.

Satnak - I couldn't save you, I couldn't help you see through his lies. I couldn't help you build your perfect world, but maybe you can help save my imperfect one. :weep:

Satnak removes a panel from the wall and pulls out a small ruby that glows with the spark of a genesis power.

Satnak - I'm sorry Ketty, but this is important.

Satnak presses the crystal into the flesh of her tail and it sinks in leaving no trace.
cypher_zero

07-09-06, 11:28 PM		Terrek watches as Satnak leaves and glances around to make sure he is alone then slips quietly into shadow, returning to his own plane. He appears in his library and sits down in a large comfy chair rubbing his head.

Terrek: (i.h.h) Well this is inconvenient. When I faked being taken down with one punch by the lizard, I hadn’t expected him to run off with Serene like that, though I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to get Satnak to fall in love with her. (Terrek smiles and quietly chuckles to himself.) Ahh… the damsel in distress, valiant knight in shining armor goes to save her and ends up fall in love. Almost poetic. (Rubs chin thoughtfully) Odd thinking of Satnak as a night in shining armor though. Now that I think about it, this allies Satnak and I against a common foe… perhaps I can use this to get on her good side… *sigh* Time to work on my plan to rend that little runt limb from limb. But first…

Terrek disappears from his lab, appearing in the bowels of the Forgotten Freedom. He moves stealthily through the halls whilst putting on a black cape and a cowl with two pointed ears, one on either side. A few arcane words and he’s covered in a black skin-tight suit with a small stylized bat in the center of his chest. He appears to a couple of redshirts stealing from the food stocks and quickly beats them senseless. He then ties them up and hangs them upside down from the rafters with a note pinned to one of their shirts with only one word written on it: Batman. He smiles and slips into the shadows again…

----

Shortly he returns to his own plane and throws off the costume.

Terrek: Keith Baker it’s been too long since I’ve pranked anyone! That should do for now, but I almost can’t believe how many powerful spells I had to use to accomplish that! Not only to cloak the fact that I was really me, but to avoid all the Batman traps! You’d think this crew had it in for the Caped Crusader! Ah well… Back to my usual plotting and being ominous…
.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-09-06, 11:40 PM		Jaela Jarlot comes across the beaten up Redshirts and reads the note.

Jaela Jarlot: Damnit! I'M Batman! It's not funny any other way!

OOC: BTW, Pun-Pun is infinite. He's an impossibility, banned by WotC. There is no "faking" when he takes you down, unless Terrek was in his own plane. Even then, I wonder if Pun-Pun could simply wrest control of it from him. When you can effectively "take ∞" on anything, there's very little, if anything, that's impossible.
Crystalforged

07-10-06, 12:20 AM		An arrow suddenly wizzes past Satnak's nose, coming out of nowhere. Embedding itself in the wall it has a simple note attached to it.


The apointed hour: Tomorrow, sunset, Xendric.

Allmightly Lord Pun-Pun



OOC: Barring something unusual I plan to post the first part of the battle tomorrow evening, let it hang for 24 hours so you guys can add anything you want, and then finish the battle tuesday night. Also I request that no one derail this too severly at the moment since after wednesday I'll be on vacation for about a week and without computer acess.
rampant

07-10-06, 01:27 AM		Satnak - PunPun has several weakneses, he cannot act with the speed a truely powerful person does. Sure he's faster but he can't process his abilities very well, he does alot of damage with his special attacks and psi-like abilities but his actual psionic powers are pathetic. It moves fast but it telegraphs its movement, its not a trained warrior. Its very potent, but lacks skill. Or real experience, most opponents fall to its overwhelming strength and speed. In other words its a telented ametuer with no ability to apply its power other than at the most basic level. It could create an astral construct, but it hasn't studied how to make an emerald gyre. It can read my mind but it knows nothing of the mental dueling the Ubers regulary engage in. IN SHORT PUN-PUN I WILL WREAK GREAT AND TERRIBLE VENGEANCE, but first every redshirt on this ship dies for helping ... NO!! calm down Satnak you've gotta pull it together. All that matters is getting Serene back safe, vengeance later.
Serene...
--------------------
OOC : Even Pun-Pun can't learn feats, or gain bab with its powers. He is so screwed.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-10-06, 07:57 AM		-----------------
Bunny - Painful death senses tingling
------------------
OOC: :rofl:
I'm still confused on Pun-Pun: I know he's a kobold and he's got some sort of insane power, but what exactly is the deal here? Can I have some more info?
rampant

07-10-06, 10:43 AM		OOC: ITs a Kobold (often a metabolist, but most caster types will work) using a psi-crystal or familiar with a poly or metamorph power to change their psi-crystal/familiar into a sarrukh and modify them. (I'm pretty sure its not kosher because you need a feat to use the Supernatural abilities of forms taken with those spell/powers and your familiar/psi-crystal doesn't gain feats.) Anyway theoretically you can manipulate the ability to grant massive stats, and a potencially unlimited number of extra limbs and special abilities (i'm still not convinced the stats have infinite potencial seeing as they are limited to the scores of the sarrukh granting the ability and any powers manifested to increase the Psi-crystal/Familiar's strength would also boost yours. so nyeh!) But for the sake of this exercise I'm willing to overlook my normal objections to Pun-Pun just for a crack at the little worm.

NOTE : A sarrukh is the progentor race of most snake folk on toril (ie Forgotten Realms) they have the ability to modify lesser reptilians by touch.
------------------------------

Kithle - This is troubling Terrek.

Terrek - Stop porting into my room unnanounced, and how did you get through my wards?

Kithle - You don't ward against shadow magic very well, Might want to work some Gorgon's blood into the next one.

Terrek - Why are you here?

Kithle - The little girlfriend you built for Satnak has been kidnapped, The Breaker Prime is losing it.

Terrek - Satnak does awful things to Pun-pun, Serene gets rescued, perfect knight in mental armor gets the girl routine.

Kithle - True but I share an entity with Satnak and it's been playing Kindom Hearts 2.

Terrek - Well then what's the plan
------------------------
OORampant : I wasn't gonna do it!

Kithle - You lie!

OORampant - Come on it would be totally cool.

Kithle - Yeah it - WAIT A MINUTE, GET IT AWAY FROM THE KEYBOOARD TERREK.

Terrek - Got ya.

OORampant - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO
Crystalforged

07-10-06, 10:44 AM		OOC:
I'm still confused on Pun-Pun: I know he's a kobold and he's got some sort of insane power, but what exactly is the deal here? Can I have some more info?
You can get the layman version here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pun-Pun) via Wikipedia or you can see the actual build created by the CO board here (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=491801).

OOC : Even Pun-Pun can't learn feats, or gain bab with its powers. He is so screwed.
Actually he can, I'm going with what Wikipedia says on the matter, "While powerful in the hands of the sarrukh, the Manipulate Form ability has far more potential than can be safely assumed was ever intended. It describes having the power to bestow upon a Scaled One virtually any sort of ability in existence. A literal interpretation of this grants the sarrukh the power to grant other Scaled Ones Manipulate Form, as well as the powers granted by every single class, prestige class and feat in every single core and supplemental Dungeons and Dragons game – as well as the powers of the gods themselves, as outlined in the supplemental book Deities and Demigods.". There might be some sort of argument against this I'm not familiar with but even if there is I'm going to ignore it for the sake of story. He possesses ANY ability you can imagine, feats included, and infinite ability scores. This may mean he only gets one attack per round becasue of his BAB (and he's probably some ability to get around this) but when your attack bonus is infinity and your damage bonus is 1D3+inifinity along with his HP being infinity I would say it doesn't matter all that much...

EDIT: :w00t: Page 101! May this thread never die.
urial angel of death

07-10-06, 11:39 AM		OOC: I believe it is possible be cause shapechange allows for supernatural abilities. Even though shapechange normally only works on yourself only the shared spells ability of familiars allows for it to be cast on them. I would have to read up more on Pun-Pun but I believe the lowwest level he could ever be achieved at was 5. Allen's whole thing about the omnificer was an attempt to become all powerful at a lowwer level than Pun-Pun without being Pun-Pun for an artificer. It worked at level 4.

Also is anyone saving these last couple posts.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-10-06, 02:09 PM		OOC: As always, I've been saving the thread every few posts. Since it's only two days worth, it won't be to hard to repost everything. Just remember, after about 10 AM EST tomorrow, don't post unless you plan on reposting it yourself, since there's no guarantee I'll see it.

IC:

Terra: *huff* Holy *pant* crap...

Lisa: *pant* No *gasp* kidding...

Terra: That *huff* was awesome...

Lisa: I *pant* didn't know *pant* I could do that...

Terra: I did...

Lisa: Wanna go again once we catch our breath?

Terra: Absolutely.

Lisa: Last one to the other side of the lake makes lunch.

Terra: You're on.

OOC: I love doing things like this. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-10-06, 02:41 PM		OOcat: Hmm. A method that takes place during running……give me a minute………………

Silver: You see where I'm coming from. :bored:

OOC: "They say that the average male humans think about sex every 6 seconds. That's nonsense. They aren't thinking when they do that."
urial angel of death

07-10-06, 03:05 PM		Volrath seems to sieze up as he is about to attack.

Nalfien: What now.

Volrath: Epathetic link again. Trying to stop several bodily funtions.

Nalfien: Several?

Volrath: I have tentacles remember.

Nalfien: Eww.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-10-06, 03:08 PM		OOKaizer: Actually, I mean't that they were swimming.

OOcat: Ooooooh! That's even better!

OOKaizer: Isn't it though? Especially with the tentacles and all...

Silver: Damnit! Don't encourage him!

OOKaizer & OOcat: :D :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-10-06, 05:20 PM		OOKaiser: Well, better get them moving to……… :blink: …………… :confused: What am I doing at a Nintendo convention?

OOcat: You do list your location as Hyrule.

OOKaiser: So…………………………what do we do here?

Just then Silver comes up to them dressed in a Princess Zelda outfit.

Silver: I am going to figure out a way to kill you.

OOKaiser: Um, okay…

A Satnak clone leaps out form behind some booths wearing Samus armor.

OOKaiser: :confused: :eek: LIVE SMASH BROS.?!

OOcat: With some additions.

Pika-man: PIIIIIIKKKKKAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Kaizer_Ryu

07-10-06, 05:44 PM		OOKaizer: SWEEEEEEETT!!!! I call Link!!

*poof* Kaizer is now dressed in a green tunic with 4 dozen pockets of holding.

OOKaizer: :w00t: ness!! I am the ultimate Nintendo Badass!!!

Silver: Who's Ganondorf, then?

Just then, OOUrial runs by dressed as Ganondorf.

OOUrial: NOOOOOO!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!
cypher_zero

07-10-06, 05:51 PM		Terrek: Ok, I’ve got an idea. It’s actually horrendously complicated, though it sounds simple enough. We’ll have to figure out some way to move the battle to my plane, preferably mid-combat in order to disorient Pun-Pun.

Kilthe: What good will that do?

Terrek: *sigh* I control every aspect of my realm, hence, Pun-Pun only has as much power as I allow him to have there; same with everyone/thing else. We transport Satnak and Pun-Pun there and I severely cap Pun-Pun’s powers without limiting Satnak’s then sit back and watch as she beats the crap out of him. The biggest problem that we have is getting them there. I’ll have to break all kinds of theoretical physics to strip Pun-Pun of his powers during the transport and the only way we’ll be able to transport him is if he goes along willingly or unconscious; both of which are equally improbable. It shouldn’t be too hard to get Satnak to go along with it provided we leave out the detail that she only has as much power as I say she has there; I’m pretty sure that’d tick her off. So what do you think?
.
Rei32491

07-10-06, 06:01 PM		OORei: *sniff sniff* I smell Super Smash Bros...

*appears in the melee*

OORei: I call Roy!

OOC: I'll get to the rest of my side story later. Still fine tuning it.
rampant

07-10-06, 06:15 PM		OORampant - Sorry guys the Finale has been called already.

Kithle & Terrek - Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww :(

Kithle - I've been meaning to ask about this stack labled future plot lines

OORampant - :shifty: what about it? (anime sweatdrop)

Kithle - Why does it contain entries labled Serene Emblem Form, there's a reference to Someone called The Nobody a.k.a. ... WAIT, Nobody..Emblem Dammit what did we say about using KH2 for ideas.

OORampant - :eek: Please not again I just got out of there.

Kithle boots OORampant through a portal.

OOKaizer - PIck one.

OORampant - Dammit, Oh well Mewtwo it is.
----------------------------

OOC: Hey cypher don't forget to post the visit to Terrek's plane by Lisa and Terra.

-----------------------------

Cutlass Redshirt #7 - Lord Pun-Pun

Pun-Pun - Yes minion

CR7 - um well is it really a good idea to **** off Satnak like that, I've seen her turn things inside out that shouldn't have insides. Khyber for example.

Pun-Pun - (with CR7's leg stuck in his teeth) I know this Satnak may seem powerful to you pathetic wastes of space, but she is as nothing to me.

Serene - You won't beat her.

Pun-Pun - And why not my succulent little morsel?

Serene - She's Satnak.
cypher_zero

07-10-06, 06:30 PM		Serene - You won't beat her.

Pun-Pun - And why not my succulent little morsel?

Serene - She's Satnak.
OOC: Hilarious! Superb! You are to be commended my friend. Anyways, hope to get the Terra and Lisa visit done today; am working on it now.

EDIT: I just read the Pun-Pun entry and... yea... it's just a little messed up.
.
urial angel of death

07-10-06, 07:27 PM		OOUrial: Gah get it off me! *throws costume onto random passing nintendite* Must get new costume. *runs around the corner, and returns looking like a bipedal dragon*

OOKaizer: He wasn't even in Super Smash Bros.

OOUrial: It was anounced that for the new SS game there would be two new characters from the Metroid series. Do you honestly think that it won't include Samus' second most infamous rival? Who else would they choose?

OOKaizer: Mother Brain and a random Metroid. :P

OOUrial: Pika-man isn't exactly kosher either.

OOKaizer: Fine.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-10-06, 09:27 PM		OOKaizer: *looks at Urial's reason for editing* Hey! All I said is that it's kosher, not koser! :P I can't help being a spelling/grammar nazi.

Gram'mar: Your orders, my lord?

OOKaizer: Stand down. He corrected his mistake. *fires an arrow*

Pika-Man: PIKAAAAAA!!! *lightning bolt*

OOKaizer: *Nayru's love* Ha-ha!

OOUrial: That wasn't in the game either!

OOKaizer: Since when are we following the game? *hook shot*

OOUrial: Oh hell...

WHAM!

OOUrial: Crap, crap, crap, crap! Almost back to the edge...

*hook shot*

OOUrial: Son of a-!

WHAM!

Announcer: K.O.!

OOKaizer: This is why I love Link. :devil:

WHAM!

OOKaizer: Son of a-!

Announcer: K.O.!

Silver: *dressed as Sheik* I told you I'd find a way to kill you. :P

WHAM!

Silver: I don't exist! How can you-!

Announcer: K.O.!

OORampant: And THAT is why it's called SUPER Smash Brothers.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-10-06, 09:35 PM		Silver: *dressed as Sheik* I told you I'd find a way to kill you. :P

WHAM!

Silver: I don't exist! How can you-!

Announcer: K.O.!

OORampant: And THAT is why it's called SUPER Smash Brothers.
OOcat: Actually…she meant she'd find a way to kill me.

OOKaizer: But you're not even competing.

OOcat: I know. :devil:
rampant

07-10-06, 09:38 PM		Jarlot - It says in my contract, I get to appear in every storyline. I wanna sue.

Reman - Well sorry captain, but their holding up their end.

Jarlot - What!!? Godsdammit this is it?! Come back here with that veiwer thingie, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
--------------------------------------------------------

Satnak - Serene...

Fluffy - Meow-ow (who cares about that *****)

Satnak - He took her and all I could do was writhe in the haze of my own pain.

Fluffy - *kitty head push* (good riddance)

Satnak - I'm going to get her back.

Fluffy - Meow (we don't need her)

Satnak - Serene I... I won't fail you again!
Rei32491

07-10-06, 09:40 PM		As Rampant :evillaugh something comes up behind him.

OORei: FLARE BLADE!

OORampant: OH SH*T!

*WHAM*

Announcer: KO!

OORei: I AM ALL POWERFUL! KNEEL BEFORE THE MIGHT OF ROY!

Satnak-clone: DIE MORTAL!

As she goes in for the kill, Roy flips over her and-

*WHAM*

OORei: MUHAHAHAHAHA-, ...where is the KO?

He looks down and sees a bomb that Satnak had placed.

OORei: :mad: ...I hate you.

*BOOM*

Announcer: DOUBLE KO!
cypher_zero

07-10-06, 09:45 PM		OOC: Would it be possible to request to know who made each of the characters? It's kind of hard to keep track and lately I've been wondering if we're taking the Satnak-Serene storyline in places her creator wouldn't want, unless of course her creator is Rampant (short of looking through over a hundred pages of posts I have no way of knowing) so yea... anyone care to indulge me?
.
urial angel of death

07-10-06, 09:50 PM		Pika-man raises his arms in triumph.

All other characters respawn

Announcer: Life 2

OOurial: Plasma Breath!

OOkaizer: Light Arrow!

OOrei: Flare Blade!

OOrampant: Psychic!

Satnak: Wave Beam!

Silver: Din's Fire!

Announcer:*in a DEEP VOICE* OOOOOO Wasted.

Pika-man's life counter reads -497
rampant

07-10-06, 10:04 PM		OOC: Yeah I'm the jerk who came up with her messed up story, just don't tell her or I'll really get it.

OORei - Ha!

OORampant - OW! Eat Lightsaber Punk!
urial angel of death

07-10-06, 10:16 PM		OOurial: :shocked: Mewtwo has a lightsaber. *feels a tap on his shoulder*

Satnak: My name is Samus Aran. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

OOurial: Maybe this wasn't the best character choice. :(

OOurial takes to the air.

Satnak: My name is Samus Aran! You killed my father! prepare to die!

Satnak's beam-arm shoots out multiple missles headed for OOurial.

OOurial: Stop saying that!

OOurial shoots breath weapon that destroys missles.
Rei32491

07-10-06, 10:17 PM		*WHAM*

OORei: SON OF A-

As he flies back, he lands on top of OOurial.

OORei: NOW I AM THE ULTIMATE DRAGON-RIDER!

OOUrial: ... GET OFF ME!

Attemps to throw Rei off, but fails.

OORei: Don't resist, I am all powerful!

Satnak charges him and fires off every beam that she has. Before they hit Rei grabs OOUrial and put him in front of him, and is blasted off screen.

OORei: DIE! FLARE BLADE!

*WHAM*

Announcer: KO!

OORei: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OOKaizer: *from above* BANZAI!!!!

*WHAM*

Announcer: KO!

OOKaizer: You forget. Flare Blade hurts you as well. :P
Kaizer_Ryu

07-10-06, 10:34 PM		OOKaizer: Why, again, are you going after me?

Silver: Because my entity isn't competing and you've been encouraging him.

OOKazier: Well, I...guess that's fair...

WHAM!

OOKaizer: Not again!

Announcer: K.O.!

Silver: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

WHAM!

Silver: You've gotta be kidding me!

Announcer: K.O.!

OORampant: :devil:
Crystalforged

07-10-06, 11:30 PM		OOCrystalforged: Finally, a game I know about. :devil: I call jigglypuff!

The battle suddenly stops, with several combatants literally falling out of mid-air, to stare blankly at Crystalforged.

OOKazier: You have played this game before right?

OOCrystalforged: Oh, yes, quite a bit.

OOKazier: ...You do know jigglypuff is the suckiest character in the game, right?

OOCrystalforged: Certainly, but this is one game which I am a master of, and I don't just want to KO you here. No, I want to bring SHAME upon you! :evillaugh

Everyone: :mymy:

OOKazier: Well, lets see if he can back it up. GET HIM!

OOurial, OOkaizer, OOrei, OOrampant, Satnak, and Silver jump OOCrystalforged.

OOCrystalforged: Jiiiiiiggleeeeeey-puff (lullaby)

OOKazier: Oh ****.

The others collapse into a heep on the floor.

OOCrystalforged: Awww... (rest)

Announcer: Sextuple KO!

OOKazier: Ok, you're good.

OOCrystalforged: :D Actually that was all luck. I'm pretty good but not THAT good. I actually went with Jigglypuff because all my favorite characters were already taken. Oh, and to introduce someone else...

Kanatash: (wearing a red baseball cap and carrying a baseball bat) PK FIRE!

Silver: IT BURNS!
Kaizer_Ryu

07-11-06, 12:10 AM		Items begin falling from the sky.

OOCrystalforged: Wasn't this feature disabled before battle started?

OORei: The defaults reset when you entered. The rest of us are back at full lives now, too.

Satnak: Well, minus the ones he took out in three seconds...

OORei: Right.

OORampant: Wait. If we're back at full then, wouldn't that mean...

Pika-Man: *respawns* PIIIIIKAAAAA!!!!

*horrible death from eight directions*

Announcer: *DEEP VOICE* HOLY CRAP!

Pika-Man's life counter reads -739.

Silver: YES! I got a Heart Container! Back to full health!

WHAM!

Silver: :weep: But why?!

OOKaizer: *holding the DK hammer* Cheezy? You bet. But damn if it's not awesome. :devil:

Everyone: :mymy: :eek: RUN AWAY!

WHAM!

OORampant: Crap!

WHAM!

OORei: Son of a-!

WHAM!

Satnak: That is SO cheap!

WHAM!

Kanatash: Nooooo!

WHAM!

OOCrystalforged: Jigglyyyyyyyyyy-puuuuuufffff!!! *star shine in background*

Announcer: Sextuple K.O.!

OOKaizer: *hammer disappears* Wait. Only six? There were seven of you left...

OOUrial: *from behind* Indeed. :devil:

OOKaizer: *turns* Ummm...uncle?

OOUrial: Not likely. *Plasma Breath to the face*

OOKaizer: :weep: I was so close!

Announcer: K.O.!

OOUrial: I win! I am the greatest! I- *sees the bomb at his feet* -hate you so much. :mad:

*KABOOM*
rampant

07-11-06, 01:04 AM		OORampant - Not that this isn't fun, but Satnak Prime is pointing a finger at me so we need to get back to the story guys.

Everyone Else - All right... Wait a minute.

OORampant - Charge shot.

Announcer - GODDAM YOU BASTARD THAT WAS MY EYE!!

OORampant - Okay were done here. Chalky he's all yours.

Announcer - Jerks

Chalky - Jerked announcer is kinda bland, I like you guys in teriyaki.

Announcer - mommy
Crystalforged

07-11-06, 01:33 AM		Somewhere in Xendric. The ship has landed and a boxing ring has been set up. The square ring (OOC: Oxymoron anyone?) is surrounded on all sides by bleachers, with a boxed off section marked "ubers" with significantly more luxiourious seats. Redshirts fill the stands on one side while the skum and ubers fill the other side. Near the redshirt side Serene sits in triple reinforced, magicly enhanced, nigh impenitrible forcecage. Next to the ring Cabin Boy stands next to a bell and suspended in mid-air is a commentator's box, currenly occupied by Bunny and 13.

Bunny: Welcome ladies, gentlemen, and those to whom a gender is yet to be assigned to THE RUUUMBLE IN THE JUUUNGLE!

13: (turning away from mike) Oh, seriously that was just BAD, I mean was that ever corny... Couldn't you come up with something better?

Bunny: (also turning away from mike seeming annoyed) Of course I could but the stupid entity wants corny so I've gotta give corny.

OOCrystalforged: :waits: Move it along people.

Bunny: Yeah, yeah, (turning back to the mike) Here we have it folks the fight of the century! It's time to announce our competitors! (Eye of the Tiger plays in the background) :rolleye2: ANYwho, in the RED corner, the destroyer of continents and their remaker, the master of disaster, the queen of mean, the chille eating machine, the deicide, the current and undefeated holder of the title "most powerful being in Eberron", the one, the only, the Ultimate, SATNAK!!!

Satnak storms out from one side of the area, decked out in full battle regalia, her face covered in war paint. As she climbs into the ring an almost beastial roar tears out of her throat as a great cheer rises from the skum/uber sections.

Bunny: In the Blue corner, the newcome to our existance, king of all muchkins, self proclaimed lord of all existance, master of dieties, ruler of the redshirts, the Kobold Kid, the infinite, our challenger, PUN-PUN!!!

Pun-Pun stalks from the opposite side of the area, greeted by entusiastic cheers from the redshirt section. He is completely unarmed and his cloathing seem like simple peasant garb. However as he climbs onto the turnbuckle, he rips his shirt apart, Bruce Banner style, revealing muscles that would make a Mr. Universe contenstant cry. In fact they bulge so obsecenely that it is more than even some of the most hardened crew members can handle...

Kanatash: MY EYES! BY SANITY MY EYES! SOMEBODY GET ME A GHOST TOUCH WEAPON SO I CAN GOUGE THEM OUT!

Many would have been more than happy to fulfill his request had they not been far too occupied "revisiting" their morning meals.

OOCrystalforged: OK, that's a little extreme. (reduces the appearance of the muscles to something slightly less challenging to ones intestinal fortitude)

[B]Pun-Pun: (glances icily at the entity)

OOCrystalforged: Don't try it on me bucko. You may be infinite but you still have nothing on me.

Pun-Pun: Hmph.

13: (cutting in) Now before the match we are going to have the STAREDOWN.

Bunny: We all know Satnak's focused gaze can ignite flamable objects and scare the pajezes out of anyone unfortunate to be caught in it. The newcomer however is a complete unknown in this area, should be intesting to see what the kid's got.

13: That's right Chuck.

Bunny: Don't call me Chuck.

Satnak and Pun-Pun stand in the center of the ring facing each other. A grim visage dominates Satnak's face while a cocky smirk adorns her opponent. Satnak's eyes narrow and the canvas floor of the ring at Pun-Pun's feet suddenly blackens and begins to release black smoke. At the sight of this Pun-Pun simple lets out a single, contemptful laugh and the smirk on his face widens. He brings a hand to his face and covers one of his eyes, the other eye focuses on the floor beneath Satnak. The floor instantly shifts from a solid to plasma, expanding explosively and breaking down the canvas to its constituant atoms. The explosion shoots up a cloud of smoke and shrapanel around Satnak. As it clears however Satnak stands, completely unharmed with a single eyebrow raised.

Bunny: Well, that was certainly impressive!

13: Quite true, but now it's time for the main event Chuck.

Bunny: That it is, and I told you to stop calling me Chuck.

Igor, the ref, shuffles to the center of the ring.

Igor: (looking at the combatants) Althright, I wanth a goodth cleanth mathch, noth novath, noth desthroyinth realtityth to killth your foeth, and noth beakingth fourth wall. FIGTH!



EDIT: Oops, accidentally posted before I was finished typing it. I'll try to get the rest of the first part up tonight but I got started late so it might not be ready until tommorow but I promise to finish the first part before noon.
cypher_zero

07-11-06, 01:58 AM		OOC: I think you should have Terrek by the ringside for Satnak. It seems only appropriate.
.
Crystalforged

07-11-06, 02:14 AM		OOC: I've got Micky as her corner man just because she's going to need somebody there to put her back together after what I'm going to put her through. However if you want Terrek there as her coach or something feel free.



Satnak and Pun-Pun lock hands almost immediately, with Pun-Pun clearly holding his own despite his shorter stature.

Pun-Pun: You do realize you really have no chance, don't you?

Satnak: Keep talking dog boy, I've crushed ANTS bigger than you.

Pun-Pun: Bring it on then.

Satnak: Oh its on, its on like Donkey Kong.

Satnak freezes suddenly realizing how stupid what she just said was. She looks up at the sky

OOCrystalforged: :D (guilty smile)

Pun-Pun uses her momentary distraction to shove the two of them apart. Satnak rushes him again.

Bunny: Satnak comes out swinging with a left hook, but Pun-Pun dodges easily.

13: One of the advantages of having an infinite armor class via an infinite Dexterity score Chuck.

Bunny: (all in a friendly voice) Yes, she's going to have to try harder than that to take down THIS opponent, oh, and if you call me Chuck one more god**** time I'm going to go CHUCK NORRIS on your *** boy.

Satnak comes in for the attack one again and this time rather than dodging Pun-Pun simply catches her fist in one hand. Then with his other hand he delivers a backhand to Satnak's face which sends her flying backwards into the ropes. The ropes stretch with her impact like a rubber band before snapping back, sending Satnak flying at an impressive velocity back towards Pun-Pun. Or more specificly, her face direcly towards his now outstreched fist. The collision sends Satnak once again cartwheeling through the air to fall into a heep in one corner.

Bunny: Oooh, that one had to hurt!

13: She'll be feeling that one tomorrow Chuck.

Bunny: I told you, I, er, why, ARRRGH! :headexplo

(sound of violent maiming ensues)

Pun-pun stalks over to Satnak's form and grabs her by her throat. He begins to choak the life from her.

Pun-Pun: I will break you.

Suddenly, Cabin Boy rings the bell from the side.

Pun-Pun: (dropping Satnak) Hmph, saved by the bell.

---

Satnak, having crawled back to her corner, is being attended to by her cornerman, Micky.

Satnak: (eyes forced shut by massive black eyes) Cut me Mick, I can't see nothin'

Micky: First, its Micky, not Mick, and second how about a remove blindness spell followed up by plenty of cure spells. (casts spells) Better?

Satnak: (looking mostly healed) Sore as hell, but I can still give scale butt his comeuppens.

--

Back in the ring, Pun-Pun has run over towards the redshirt section of the crowd where he jumps onto the turnbuckle.

Pun-Pun: I am almighty, I am infinite, I am PUN-PUN! Puny attacks are shrugged from my shoulders like water!

Satnak: (coming suddenly from behind him) Shrug of THIS!

Satnak swings a folding chair at Pun-Pun's head with enough force to make the chair literaly wrap all the way around his head.

Satnak: +5 folding chair of concussions, *****.

To the crowd's amazement Pun-Pun BITES through the chair and it falls from his head. He simple smiles, seeming unharmed. He jumps back from Satnak and raises his hands in the air.

Pun-Pun: I'll see your folding chair of concussions and raise you (a small german automobile suddenly appear in his hands) a +12 Volkswagen of flattening!

Satnak: :bigeyes:

The car crashes down on Satnak, burying her beneath a mass of twisted metal. However the bell, once again sounds before Pun-Pun can do more. Satnak once again stumbles back to her corner.

Micky: I'm starting to suspect a pattern here...



OOC: There's more to the first part but it's late so I'll finish in the morning. The rest of you can start posting any contributions you want to make to the fight.
rampant

07-11-06, 02:36 AM		Satnak - (i.h.h. idiot doesn't realize he's already 1/5 dead, necrocarnum is a beautiful thing)

-------------------
OOC: The sarrukh ability that Pun-Pun is stealing does have limits, his stats are not infinite merely extremely high, he cannot gain abilities not specifically labled as supernatural, spell-like, or extraordinary, using the ability to modify himself still knocks him out for 2d4 rounds, and a triple 20 still kills his ass. Undead type, immunities to energy drain, and other such abilities aren't covered in the Sp: Su: and Ex qualification, neither are feats, NA, actual skill points, or HD. In other words Pun-Pun is a neat trick, but not as ultimate as everyone thinks. Just keep that in mind.
--------------------

Satnak begins the next round with a blinding barrage of energy lances.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-11-06, 02:37 AM		OOKaizer: *returning from the convention* Man, that was awesome! I haven't had that much fun since - Khyber's sweatsocks! What are you two doing?!

Terra: We got bored waiting for you to come back.

OOKaizer: :confused: Exactly how did you achieve that position?

Lisa: Don't ask me. Terra's spinning the dial.

Terra: Twister™ has a way of putting you in impossible positions.

OOKaizer: That's why I never play. Wait...what's that?

Lisa: *faking innocent* What's what? :angelhide

OOKaizer: Is this...jello? :blink: :eek: You two were jello wrestling?!!!

Terra: :smirk: Not wrestling persay...

OOKaizer: :bigeyes: :weep:

Lisa: :rolleyes: It's not like it'll never happen again. You of all beings should know that.

OOKaizer: *tsk* All right. But...what's with all the Silly Putty?

Terra: :blush:

Lisa: :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-11-06, 07:04 AM		Silver (perfectly fine, since she doesn't exist): Well, that was pointless.

OOcat: Was it?

Silver: :blink: How could it not be?

OOcat: Got the Entities from Beyond Non-existance to come out of their little holes and participate.

Silver: You never intended that! You could not have predicted that.

OOcat: :bored: You remember who I am, right?

Silver: The Entity of Completley Random, Totally Useless and Nonsensical, and Ultimately Just Plain Weird?

OOcat: Good creation.

Silver: Hey, now we're at a D&D convention.
Gladius_Lucix

07-11-06, 09:47 AM		Liam rushes up to ringside between rounds, holding a new gadget.

Liam: Satnak! I've got something for you!

Satnak: What?

Liam: It's something that I was creating to defend against Pun-Pun, to go see what was going on. It uses the Weirdness and Insanity of your opponent to generate a shield that can stop almost anything. Pun-Pun's Weirdness signature is so strange that it's producing nearly as much as the ship's red-shirt's on it's own! I mean [senseless techno-babble]blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah[/senseless techno-babble].

Satnak: Ok. In summary, I use this, he can't touch me?

Liam: In theory.

Satnak: I'll think about it. Thanks.

OOC: Anyone is free to use the shield generator in their portions of the fight.
Chrys

07-11-06, 10:35 AM		OoChrys: Damn it what am I going to do with this Kirby Outfit now!

Layla Shut up and write That I steal all of Pun-Pun's powers before Satnak kills him and I don't get chance!

OoChrys:But I wanted to do the git in my belly joke :weep:

Layla I wonder If I can steal your powers...

OoChrys: :help:
cypher_zero

07-11-06, 10:59 AM		OOC: In case anyone has not guessed by now, Terrek plans on eating Pun-Pun's soul. Ya'know, FYI.
Crystalforged

07-11-06, 01:03 PM		Satnak and Pun-Pun are once again locked in mortal combat in the middle of the ring. Through the everpresent cheers from both sides of the area a single voice is somehow heard.

Random Redshirt: Ah, come on. Just look at that. I'm telling you wrestling is SO fake.

Thanks to obscene listen checks on the part of both Satnak and Pun-Pun they both manage to hear the voice. The pause in the middle of their battle and Satnak turns to Pun-Pun.

Satnak: Excuse me for a moment.

Pun-Pun: Be my guest.

Satnak jumps out of the ring to grab the offending redshirt. She then proceeds to drag him out of sight. No one quite sees what happens next but as the crowd has gone dead quiet they all hear it quite clearly.

Satnak: (WHAM) So you (WHAM) think (WHAM) wrestling (WHAM) is fake (WHAM) do you? (WHAM) That sounded pretty fake, (WHAM) Still fake, better try again, (WHAM) Still not feeling it (WHAM) How about now? (WHAM) still fake? (WHAM) You feel that? (WHAM) I think you did (WHAM) I'm sure you felt that (WHAM) Did it feel fake? (WHAM) Is that blood fake? (WHAM) Now don't fake begging for mercy (WHAM) You're not getting mercy anyway (WHAM) Have you had enough? (WHAM) I said boy, have you had enough! (WHAM) Wrong answer! (WHAM) Only I say when you've had enough! (WHAM WHAM WHAM THUMP-ITY-THUMP) That'll do.

Satnak walks back into sight, without the redshirt, and jumps back into the ring.

Satnak: (facing Pun-Pun) Now where were we?

Random Redshirt: (somewhere behind the bleachers) Kill me...
rampant

07-11-06, 05:54 PM		Satnak is being swung around by her tail and slammed into the pylons.
Satnak - (I.h.h. I. Can. Not. Lose. This. Fight. Serene...)

-----------------------------------

Serene - Come on Satnak you can do this.

-----------------------------------

Satnak - (SERENE) Die Lizard

A wave of necrocarnum courses through Satnak's body, and sends Pun-Pun flying.

Satnak - I'm gonna have your hide for shoes, and your soul as a chew toy for Fluffy.
Crystalforged

07-11-06, 10:45 PM		Pun-Pun rises again, his head lolling gruesumly on one side, his neck clearly broken. He however does not seem particularly hindered, or even bothered by this. He reaches up and places his head back in place with a hideous popping noise and seems once again unharmed.

Pun-Pun: A respectable hit for a lesser being. I've never yet encountered one with the power possessed by you. It is insignificant with respect to my own of course but impressive non the less. Impressive enough that if you were to surrender now I might consider taking you as my queen, (pauses for a moment) or at least my consort.

Satnak: Not on your life scales for brain.

Pun-Pun: If this concerns the morsel over there I might be able to be "persuaded" to spare her as well.

Satnak: (low growl)

Pun-Pun's corner man, a redshirt, calls out to him.

Redshirt: Ugh, boss, I mean your lordshi! Ya see the thing is she's kinda playing for the other team if you know what I mean...

Pun-Pun: Hmph. Is that so. Well I will still see you beg for me before I allow you release from this life.
Crystalforged

07-12-06, 01:01 AM		Satnak: ALRIGHT! I've had enough of this, the kid gloves are off and I'm going to crush you like the bloody kobold you are!

Pun-Pun: Go right ahead, I would like to see your best before I destroy you. In fact I'll even give you a free shot.

Satnak only growls in response, and begins to glow as energy from all around her is drawn into her body. Suddenly she dissapears in streak of yellow energy. As the crowd stares, this energy rockets towards the nearest moon and strikes it. The entire moon suddenly glows with the same yellow energy and begins to move. The moon begins to fall from the sky, heading directly for the area. A general panic ensues as the entire crowd tries to flee with cries of, "run for your lives" and "she's killed us all!" Those unable to flee cower in fear as the moon is about to strike, looking away from their doom. Throughout it all however Pun-Pun simply stands in the center of the ring, staring at the moon, a calm look upon his face. Many eyes are closed in anticipation of the impact, but none comes. Gradually a few eyes open onto an incredible sight. Pun-Pun, still standingin the center of the ring, is holding aloft he moon above his head, with a single hand. His other hand reaches out, streaching in both size and reach far, far beyond which it should be able to go, to grasp to top of the moon like an enourmus ball. His muscle tense for a moment before his hand clenches, crushing the entire moon into little more than powder. As the dust clears Pun-Pun still stands while Satnak lies on her back on the area floor.

Satnak: Well, ****.



OOC: Oh and browny points if you can figure out which game I stole Satnak's move from, I know from a couple of rules a while back at least one of you has played it but I'm too lazy (and busy typing and end to this) to go back and figure out which.
Crystalforged

07-12-06, 02:16 AM		Satnak is once again in her corner being put back together by Micky. It's certainly helping but even magic can only do so much, therefor, needless to say, Satnak looks like hell. Her entire body is so bruised that at first glance you would think her natural skin color was blue. Huge bags also sit under her eyes and though she tries to hide it, she flinches with pain with sudden movements.

Satnak: (groans) So this must be what the meat Norbaz uses must feel like after it's been tenderizied.

Terrek: (trying to psych her up) Come on champ, you can do this, think about Serene. Now here's what you're going to do is... errrr... (throwing up his hands) Yeah who am I kidding, your screwed six ways til' sunday here.

Kanatash: (appearing from nowhere) I've got a plan.

Satnak: I'm willing to try anything at this point. Spill it.

Kanatash: Well we know that Pun-Pun's power is infinite and the amount of punishment he can take is infinite as well. Correct?

Satnak: Get to the point.

Kanatash: Well, since he can take an infinite abount of punishment, the only way to truely hurt him is to hit him with an infinitely powerful attack...

Satnak: (sitting up suddenly, and wincing) OW... Of course, I see. I have to turn his own attack against him. But how...

Kanatash: It won't be easy, the only reason you've lasted this long is because he's been holding back. Its all a game of Kithle and Pholly (AKA cat and mouse) to him. You're only going to get one shot at this and you're going to need him to use the full power on the attack.

Satnak: Ok, but how are we going to do this?

Kanatash: Well, as I see it we have two advantages over Pun-Pun. The first is that the entity stripped his divinity from him when entering Eberron, so he isn't omniscent and aware of what we're planning. The second is that he's cocky. Not overconfidant mind you, he can do everything he thinks he can, but we can still use that cockyness. As for how to get him to use his full power I would suggesting hitting him where it hurts.

Satnak: And where exactly would that be? I threw a ****ing MOON at him and it didn't faze him.

Kanatash: We're not aiming for his body, but his ego. I'll leave to you how you want to do that but I would remind you that he seems very fond of being worshiped and if that fails insulting their mother always works.

Satnak: Check, but how do I actually turn his attack upon him?

Kanatash: (tossing her a purple, crystal false fingernail) Use this. You'll know what to do when the time comes.

Satnak: (looks at him sceptically) Out of curiousity, why didn't you do all this sooner.

Kanatash: What? And miss this fight? I'm only doing this now because I'm out of popcorn.

Satnak: (glare of doom)

Kanatash: And that's my cue. Exit stage left. (teleports away)

Satnak sighs, places the nail over one of her fingers. She then rises, once again reminded of how sore she is, to return to the fight.

---

Satnak: (back in the fight) Come on kobold boy! See if you can hit me. Do you know how many of your kin I've accidentally squished?

Pun-Pun say's nothing, rather he simple draws back his hands as a ball of energy begins to grow between them. He launches a volly of blasts which Satnak, by some miracle, manages to dodge.

Satnak: :D Nice shooting Tex.

She points her thumb behind her at the, now decimated, redshirt section of the stands. A few survivors call out in pain.

Satnak: Oh dear. All your faithful worshippers. Who's going to praise all of your three foot mightyness and wipe your *** for you now?

Pun-Pun just growls and sends out another volley, which Satnak dodges as well.

Satnak: Oh, nice shoot. At this rate you'll take out your next congrigation before you hit me.

Pun-Pun lets out a howl along with a third volley. Though she tries, Satnak doesn't get out of the way quite in time, taking a hit on her arm.

Satnak: Heh, you know what? I think last night I saw your mother with an elf. I think she liked it too.

Something seems to snap within Pun-Pun at the last remark, his pupils dilate and he develops a twitch.

Pun-Pun: (in a quiet but dangerous voice) That's it. I've had enough of this. I'm not holding back anymore. You. Will. Die.

The crowd goes silent as Pun-Pun draws his arms back one last time. The entire world trembles with the gathering energy. Finally an animalistic roar tears from his throat.

Pun-Pun: HADOKEN!!!

A beam of intense light shoot towards Satnak, who is unable to dodge. Luckily Liam's shield manages to kick in just in time. However Pun-Pun's attack continues as the shield weakens and Satnak fight to keep her footing.

Satnak: (looking at the nail) Now seems like the time. I sure hope the **** thing works cuz' otherwise I think I'm pretty screwed...

She waves the nail around the air for a moment before suddenly a multicolored rift in space appear in front of her just as the shield fails. But rather than strike Satnak, the beam enter's the rift to exit the other end of the rift. Directly behind Pun-Pun. The energy released is beyond words and as the glare clears, Pun-Pun can be seen, still standing. His eyes are rolled back in his head and he sways dangerously from side to side. Satnak limps over to him from the other side of the ring. She stands before him for a moment before delivering a viscious kick to groin. As the kick strikes a set of popping noise echoes softly which causes every male in the audience to flinch. Pun-Pun's mouth hangs open and he collapses onto the floor.

Satnak: Infinite plus one, *****.

The crowd, which had been silent up until now breaks out in a roar of cheers. Igor shuffles up to Satnak and grabs her arm, causing her wince once again, and holds it up in the air, causing her to wince even more.

Igor: Theth winnerth anth thill championth, SATNAK!

Another cheer shoots up and Serene, whos cage has faded with Pun-Pun's defeat, rushes the stage and embraces Satnak in a bear hug.

Satnak: (eyes rolling back in their sockets) Sore... Pain...

Serene: (letting up) Oh. Sorry...

Satnak: Rest now...

With that she slips into unconsciousness in Serene's arms.



OOC: I have my last three posts saved so don't worry. I'll be posting Pun-Pun's ultimate fate tomorrow, I'm tired now. For those who want his soul/power, don't worry, you'll still have a chance at it. If you dare...
Charles Phipps

07-12-06, 05:05 AM		OOC: Is it a good time to resume the Linda plot?
urial angel of death

07-12-06, 08:57 AM		Guys the new boards are up start posting there
cypher_zero

07-12-06, 10:36 AM		OOC: Yeah, but the new boards are experiencing technical difficulties so... bleh.
Endless_Helix

07-12-06, 11:29 AM		Silence: Hey, Silver. We've got to talk.

Silver: Oh, it's you, Silence. What's up? Are you finally going to :pile: with Devon?

Silence: :rolleyes: What, :pile: with that loser? Surely, you, like, jest. Maybe with V, if he still existed...

Silver: But I thought you liked Devon...

Silence: I like his poetry. Not him. He's just, like, a pathetic little geek.

Silver: So... why do I need to be here, then? Terra and Lisa are in...

Silence: *grabs Silver by the throat* Look, the important thing is, like, can I bind to you?

Silver: Err... how can you touch me? I mean, I don't exist...

Silence: Neither do I. I'm, like, a ficticious narrative element that is capable of whatever the plot requires.

OOHelix: *Jedi Mind Trick* DO NOT LOOK AT THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!

Silence: Silver, ANSWER MY BLOODY QUESTION OR I'LL, like, VESTIGEWRACK YOU!

Silver: Errr... Maybe?
rampant

07-12-06, 12:07 PM		OOC: Guys the new boards are up so yeah, and no this isn't them.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-14-06, 08:54 PM		OOC: Since the new boards are having..."issues"...should I repost the stuff I have from the new boards? Unfortunately, I didn't get anything after my post following the second part of Terra and Lisa's visit to the Island. Should we just hold off, or should we continue here till the new boards are fixed?
Paulon

07-14-06, 09:37 PM		On the current record, I suspect it'd be better to repost here, so that folks like me who've been enjoying the thread can get their fix before withdrawal sets in. ;)
I saved what I think is the whole thing when I got access after the new forums came back up for a while. I'm not sure anyone would have been able to get there to post any more judging by my subsequent attempts at access. It's at http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~paulryan/1001things.zip and is 1.42 meg.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:19 AM		OOC: Thanks, Paulon. I wasn't able to get the two posts after mine before it crapped out again. There were a few posts interspaced in Crystalforged's Pun-pun arc that were only posted on the new boards, so I'll add them in here.

Originally posted by Gladius_Lucix:

Liam rushes up to ringside between rounds, holding a new gadget.

Liam: Satnak! I've got something for you!

Satnak: What?

Liam: It's something that I was creating to defend against Pun-Pun, to go see what was going on. It uses the Weirdness and Insanity of your opponent to generate a shield that can stop almost anything. Pun-Pun's Weirdness signature is so strange that it's producing nearly as much as the ship's red-shirt's on it's own! I mean [senseless techno-babble]blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah[/senseless techno-babble].

Satnak: Ok. In summary, I use this, he can't touch me?

Liam: In theory.

Satnak: I'll think about it. Thanks.

OOC: Anyone is free to use the shield generator in their portions of the fight.

Originally posted by rampant:

Satnak - Sheild generator huh? lets see.

Satnak activates the device.

Bwoioioioiioioioioing

Pun-pun - wtf!?

Satnak - hehehehehe

Satnak begins swinging the generator bouncing pun-pun off the shiled repeatedly.

45 hit air combo

Originally posted by Gladius_Lucix:

Liam looks on as Satnak bounces Pun-Pun.

Liam: Huh. Not what I intended, but, hey, whatever works.

Liam cheers for Satnak while trying to analyze the exact Weir/Insan readings coming off of Pun-Pun.

Posted by me:

Terra and Lisa are busy playing strip chess. With each non-Pawn piece taken, loser removes an article of clothing. Neither is trying to win.

Terra: Does it feel like we're being left out of some big event? Bishop takes Pawn.

Lisa: Kind of. Knight takes Bishop. Lose the skirt.

Terra: I guess it's only fair. Rook takes Knight. Blouse.

Lisa: We get to have our fun. Bishop takes Pawn.

Terra: They get to have theirs. Knight takes Bishop. Skirt, next.

Lisa: Though, I get the distinct impression that we're the ones having the most fun. Queen takes Knight. Off with the Blouse.

Terra: This'd be hard to top. Pawn takes Rook. Slip.

Lisa: Seem's it was a good idea to check out Lucky's book after all. Knight takes Knight. You lose the slip, too.

Terra: As a woman, she's found that foreplay is just as fun as the rest of it. Queen takes Queen.

Lisa: Ok. :devil:

Terra: :blush: ;)

***

Volrath siezes up.

Nalfein: :ahem: Again?

Volrath: :angel: I am in no way responsible for what she does.

Nalfein: Eww.

Tyranthraxus: :waits: I'm still waiting for my chance to kill you...

Nalfein: Just hold your horses. My entity is taking his sweet time on finishing this up. Until then, we have to just sit here.

Volrath: *siezes up again* Wow... That was a doozie. :cloud9:

Nalfein: :yuck: WILL YOU STOP THAT ALREADY?!

Originally posted by Rei32491:

OORei: BIT*H SLAP!

OOKaizer: OW! WTF!

OORei: Stop commenting on my lazyness! :hoppingma

OOKaizer: OOUrial started it!

OORei: I've already taken care of him.

OOUrial: ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow:weep: :weep:

OORei: :devil:

OOC: Ok, from here on out, the posts are part of the regular timeline.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:21 AM		Originally posted by Crystalforged:

In the aftermath of the battle, the crowd has gathered around the ring, Satnak has been carried off to rest by Micky and Serene. Most of the crew however is still staring at the ring, or more precisely, Pun-Pun, who lies in the center of it.

Norbaz: ...is he dead?

Sa'vor: No, I believe he is mearly unconscious.

Norbaz: So what do we do with him now? (turns to the crowd) Any suggestions?

About a dozen hands shoot into the air, including Terrek's and Layla's.

Kanatash: (floating through the arena floor) Alright, I'm here by order of my entity. (glancing at the raised hands) Let's see here... Liam, further experiments correct?

Liam nod's silently.

Kanatash: Kithle, you want his brain correct?

Kithle wiggles his tentacles in a guesture of agreement.

Kanatash: Terrek, you want his soul.

Terrek bows his head slightly.

Kanatash: Klaz, you want... Wait a sec, what would YOU want with him?

Klaz: Well criky mate, I mean he's just my type. I wanna-

Kanatash: I'm stopping you there. I get it. Scales, extremely dangerous, sure to rip you limb from limb. Has to be irrestable for you. Anyway I assume the rest of you want to steal his power in some way.

There is a general murmer of ascension.

Kanatash: Well then. My entity figured this would happen so he has decided to make this into a little game. I'm going to send Pun-Pun someplace "special" and the first one of you to reach him can have him for whatever purposes you like. (opens a dimensional rift directly below Pun-Pun and he falls through it)

---

Pun-Pun slowly awakens in severe pain. Glancing around he finds himself in a strange world. One full of happy faced clouds and bright rainbows.

Pun-Pun: (holding his head) Ugh, where am I? And why do we feel like I've had a moon dropped on me?

Suddenly on the horizons several figures appear. As they aproch Pun-Pun can see they resemble Teddy bears in a variety of bright colors, each with some sort of symbol on their stomachs. The walk right up to where Pun-Pun lies.

Pink Bear: (giggle) Do you want to be our friend?

Pun-Pun: No, I do not want to be your ****ing friend. I am Pun-Pun! I am almightly! I am infinite! You will kneel before your new god!

The pink creature turns to face its companions.

Pink Bear: (looking sad) :( He doesn't want to be our friend...

Bear Creatures: Awwwwww...

Pink Bear: :lightbulb ...maybe he can be our new inside friend!

Bear Creatures: :w00t: YEAH! Inside friend, inside friend!

Pun-Pun: I already told you I will not be your friend! I am your god- Wait a sec, what do you mean "inside friend?"

The bear creatures turn on Pun-Pun in unison, a strange and disturbing gleem in their eyes. Suddenly out of each a veritable medusa head of tentacles snake from the mouths of each creature. They reach out and grapple Pun-Pun, with many of them impaling him as well. You can almost sense his life essence being drained by these tentacles as he screems in torment.

---

As Pun-Pun's screams still echo, Kanatash closes the scrying window.

Kanatash: And THAT, is where Pun-Pun is. If you chose to enter you should be able to get there while there's still something left.

Crew: :mymy:

Kithle: You know those creature's look rather familiar...

Kanatash: I believe you would be refering to the soulsnuggles, correct?

Kithle: Yeah, you just stole them here didn't you?

Kanatash: Actually no. The soulsnuggles are in fact general, and in fact far weaker, recreations of these creatures. You see the entities deemed these creatures too evil to ever be allowed into our universe so they placed a ban on interplanar travel to or from their existance.

Terrek: Then how did you send Pun-Pun there?

Kanatash: My entity has been kind enough to temporarily lift the ban. I can also transport any of you there if you wish. Returning, and more importantly returning alive, is another matter completely. :devil: Any takers?
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:22 AM		Originally posted by cypher_zero:

Terrek: I'm in. (Lifts eyebrow.) Honestly, did you think I'd be scared by something that eats souls? What do you think I do? It also helps that because I eat souls I'm immune to having mine eaten, but that's besides the point. Now open the portal before I pull out my ghost-touch weapons.

Kanatash: Meh. Your funeral.

The portal opens and Terrek begins to walk through it. At the last moment his chains whip out and grab several of the remaining redshirts and pulls them in screaming.

Terrek approaches the Bear things slowly and sets the redshirts down in front of him while turning himself invisible. The Redshirts whimper and cower in fear for a moment before the Bears notice them.

Bear Creatures: Yay! More friends!!

The redshirts open their mouths to speak, intending to offer their friendship, hoping it will spare their lives but all find themselves mute. Terrek then speaks, disguising his voice with spells to mimic the voices of the redshirsts.

Terrek: We don't wanna be your friends!

Bear Creatures: Yay! More inside friends!!

The Redshirts scream in horror as the Bear Creatures descend upon them, momentarily forgetting Pun-Pun. Terrek sweeps in and grabs the small kobold who can only lie still writhing in pain. He then swiftly returns to his own dimension, Pun-Pun in tow.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:23 AM		Originally posted by rampant:

Satnak awakes in the Infirmary, Serene is there holding her hand, the other is tightly bandaged.

Satnak - Serene!?

Serene - Oh thank goodness your awake.

Satnak - Goodness got nothing to do with it, I'm just ornery.
-tries to sit up- ok maybe not quite that ornery

Serene - Its just you and me here you don't need to act tough.

Satnak - heh, alright you asked for it... BLOODY MOL THAT HURTS.

Serene - -looks at Satnak's face- Even after that beating you should be fealing better than this after all the healing mickey pumped into you.

Satnak - sssshhhhhhhhhh ahhh, and you didn't skimp on the spells either, i know what a depleted bard looks like.

Serene - :embarrass :( I'm sorry I couldn't help more.

Satnak - Its not the injuries from the fight, that are hurting me... well the hand needs some work. Otherwise its just- SERENE GET BACK NOW.

Serene - What?

Satnak shoves Serene into a chair.

Serene - Satnak why:confused: :(

Satnak - RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Satnak's med-cot is dissolved and absorbed. As she rolls onto her hands and knees, two grey lines appear on her back about 9cm wide and 3/4 of a meter long. Streams of essentia and ectoplasm form a pillar of energy that rips out through the ship and into the sky. As the surge recedes a set of cyrstal wings grow in along the lines.

Serene - Satnak? are you ok?

Satnak - *pant* Yeah thats it for now.

Serene - Whats happening?

Satnak - Its the next step, in my change.

Serene - They're lovely but why aren't the like your tail, and why is that white?

Satnak - They are temporary after the surge wears off -wings dissapate in a cloud of ectoplasm- they dissapear untill i want to use them. The grey stripes on my back are the foci of a direct link to a resevior of compressed ectoplasm inside my body. My tail is flesh and bone, said flesh needs to get some sun so it stops looking like fish belly, although...

Satnak brings her tail up to her face and places her hand under a growing bulge, the flesh parts and The Genesis Stone drops into her hand.

Satnak - The flesh of my tail is significantly more changeable.

Serene - Thats amazing and all, but you do realize you've been standing there the whole time in a ripped hospital gown, not that I'm complaining. ( i.h.h. :love: :w00t: :drool: )

Satnak - :blush: :doh:

Serene tosses Satnak some bedding from another cot.

Satnak - Thanks :embarrass Um...I want you to keep this.

Satnak, now wrapped in bedsheets, hands Serene the Genesis stone.

Serene - It's lovely, but its a powerstone, a strong one, you can use this I can't.

Satnak - Precisely, It belonged to my sister Ketty, she was going to use it to make her perfect ideal world. When I tried to tell her I didn't want to live there with her and that .. that monster she called her husband... She attacked me :weep: That scumwad had been brainwashing her for years. It was making her irrational. I had to fight her.. to kill...her:weep:. Then I went after that filthy worm. I ripped him to pieces one joint at time. Thats about when i got zapped here. -sniffle- There I go again unloading my problems on you.
-------------------------------

OOC: I warned you Cypher.:D
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:24 AM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

A large robed figure appears in front of Terrek.

figure: Give back Pun-Pun.

Terrek: Who are you to order me around?

figure: I am Ao lord overdiety of Pun-Pun's homke plane, Forgotten Realms. His soul must be returned to its rightful plane.

Terrek: Why?

Ao: Because when creatures hop from one campaign setting to another the barriers between them crack. The longer a creature stays in aa campaign setting not of its own the larger the cracks become, therefore making travel between the two worlds easier. IF they become two large the campaign settings collide. When that happens something very bad or very wierd happens.

Terrek: How bad could it be?

Ao: Last time it happened four campaign settings were destoryed, several others damaged beyond repair, and third edition was created. Is you quest for power so important that you would risk thousands of deaths?

Terrek: ...
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:26 AM		Originally posted by cypher_zero:

OOC: Warned me about what? This was exactly what I wanted to happen. In all honesty I didn't create Serene for my personal use; I created her so that you, as the creator of Satnak could suit her to Satnak. Terrek's getting exactly what he planned for here so I got nothin to complain about. :)


IC:
Terrek: Only thousands? Is that all? I have devoured a million souls, what is a thousand deaths to me? Pun-pun is not a native of Ebberon and hence the destruction of his soul here shouldn't affect our realm. As for the Forgotten Realms; they may burn for all I care. And I think that the denizens of the FF would be more than capable of dealing with whatever weirdness results from a collision of settings. Besides, if I destroy Pun-Pun, then he's no longer in our setting. Now begone from my plane. You have no power here.

Terrek waves his hand and banishes the Figure then turns and devours what's left of Pun-Pun's soul. He feels the new energies seep through him, and then obliterates all remnants of Pun-Pun's existence, down to the very soul he'd trapped within himself. The being's power remained with him, though in time the others would forget Pun-Pun, so much that they would not know that he'd ever existed...

Terrek: D*mn entities sending "figures" to do their dirty work. They hold no sway here.

OC:
*Note* OOCypher will never appear to the members of the Forgotten Freedom.
IC:

Terrek tests the new energies that he has acquired, and finds them lacking.

Terrek: D*mm*t! I gained almost nothing from that! Those bear creatures had almost sucked him dry! I got more from the demi-god after it was filtered through Terra than I did from that whelp! Perhaps I should have let the "figure" take him back Bah. What a waste; still, he did have some useful abilities left... (Thinks to himself for a moment) I need to get back to the ship. Have to make sure Serene is alright. I'm sure she is, but I wonder how she's getting along with Satnak...

Terrek slips quietly into the shadows of his lab and returns to his room aboard the FF.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:27 AM		Originally posted by rampant:

Serene - Silly girl, when I said i'm always there for anything you need I meant it. Actually it means alot that you trust me this much.

Satnak - heh yeah... Um Serene I know we haven't known each other that long but... I was wondering if you were ever interested in possibly interested in girls... you know uh... romantically.

Serene - Girls no, a girl yes.

Satnak - Oh...Well then, (I.h.h. :weep: :banghead: ) who's the lucky girl?

Serene - She's brutally strong, incredibly brave, inhumanly beautiful, and really a silly girl.;)

Satnak - HUh? wha-

Serene cuts off further conversation, by kissing Satnak full on the lips.

Almost minute or so later.

Serene - *pant* That was amazing, but breathing is important.

Satnak - *pant* I say we test that *pant* the..o..ry.......... *thud* *snore*

Serene - Silly girl you've pushed yourself too far already today.

Serene wraps Satnak in some more bedding, and Casts a small spell.

Serene - I get the feeling that I'm gonna I owe ol'tenser big for this disk spell. Come on Satnak we gotta get you back to your bed.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:27 AM		OOC: Warned me about what?

OOC: He warned you when they first met that Satnak has deep seated emotional problems.

Something that bugs me. Satnak's sheer power limits her choice of potential lovers due to the fact that she would crush them to death in the throes of passion. She also kicks in her sleep. Serene just doesn't seem to have the constitution to take that kind of unintentional punishment.

IC:

Terra: Bored, bored, bored, boredboredboredboredboredbored...BORED!! !

Lisa: He said it would be soon. Just be patient.

Terra: I just want to know what else our entity has in store. Look at him! You just know he's plotting something big...
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:28 AM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

Ao appears before the assembly of gods.

Ao: He wouldn't give it back. You know what that means right?

one of the numerous FF gods: Cancel all but the two most profitable campaign settings, release another Die Venca Die type module, cancel third edition, and start reprinting 3rd edition books in 4th edition.

Ao: Correct. *a letter from Wizards of the Coast appears in his hands.* Apparently we're being canceled and replaced with Ravenloft. However we will not be cancelled until we complete the module.

assembled gods: :schemes:
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:29 AM		Originally posted by rampant:

OOC: Kaizer, my good fellow, I have a plan. Here it is:.... Ahem CYPHER A LITTLE HELP HERE!!
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:30 AM		OOC: Kaizer, my good fellow, I have a plan. Here it is:.... Ahem CYPHER A LITTLE HELP HERE!!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:32 AM		Originally posted by cypher_zero:

Something that bugs me. Satnak's sheer power limits her choice of potential lovers due to the fact that she would crush them to death in the throes of passion. She also kicks in her sleep. Serene just doesn't seem to have the constitution to take that kind of unintentional punishment.
OOC: Actually that is in part the reason she appears to be lacking in the constitution area. Terrek wanted a way to force Satnak to think before she just went off and resorted to violence immediately. Serene appears to be rather helpless because Terrek knows that if Satnak believes Serene to be frail in comparison to her, she'll be less likely to be rash and actually think about ways to accomplish what she wants to either without resorting to violence, or at least minimize the collateral damage. Also Serene has a slight disdain for violence and will probably try to restrain Satnak in some fashion if she feels the need to get violent when the two are together. Since Serene appears weak, and has an emotional attachment to Satnak, Satnak will be forced to exercise some degree of restrain for fear of hurting Serene. Ultimately Terrek hopes this will result in Satnak being less likely to "throw her weight around" in general because she knows Serene hates it.

In truth Serene isn't that weak. She's just meant to appear as such. As Terrek explained, she has his genetics. Since Terrek never elaborated on exactly what this means, I will. Terrek has spent years making himself physically "perfect", since he has now decided that he's as physically perfect as he's going to get, he decided to encode all the grafts and changes that he's made to himself over the years into his genetic code. This translates in game terms to at least +6 bonuses to all stats; more for cha and str; the aberration and living construct types, a bunch of other crap that you can look up in Terrek's character profile if you really want to, and a natural liquid mithral substance of Terrek's own design. In Terrek this liquid mithral stuff appears on his chest and in the form of his gauntlets. In Serene, it's subdued. She still possesses it, it's just not readily apparent. She can however use it to create shields and weapons for herself and morph her own form significantly. The weapons she uses take the form of elongated claws that extend form the tips of her fingers (treat as longswords) that she has both focus and two-weapon fighting with. She can also use the metal to form wings for herself and reinforce her own bone and muscle structure (DR). As I said before, the mithral in her is subdued, and for the most part she'd rather people didn't know about it and hence rarely uses her claws or wings.

That help?
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:33 AM		OOC: I was less concerned with her defending herself and more concerned with unintentional harm. Satnak may be able to restrain herself normally, but during a session of intense :pile: , she's likely to lose herself. Imagine Satnak grabbing her lover in a passionate embrace and squeezing. In almost any instance, all internal organs vacate the unfortunate partner's body through the mouth. On top of this, she also can't really restrain herself during sleep.

Satnak can punch holes in the planet at half power, destroy mountans with a glance, and tear holes in reality with one swipe. As far as I can tell, her bonuses to strength are something like +50 at minimum. No matter how improved Serene is, I just can't see anyone standing up to that.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:34 AM		Originally posted by cypher_zero:

OOC: I got that. I'm saying she can handle it. Even during them most intense :pile: there's still a degree of control. Let's just say that I'm fairly strong myself and can relate to Satnak as far as having to control myself goes and leave it at that. In short, Serene's genetics, combined with at least some degree of control by Satnak will take care of the aforementioned problem. Toss in some magic and they can have the wildest :pile: without having to worry about getting hurt. Don't think about it so much. With all the other nigh-impossible things that happen on the ship you're going to question how they :pile: ? :D
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:34 AM		OOC: We already take so many liberties with the rules, I just wanted to see if it could be brought within some kind of reason (even if it is the twisted reason that is this thread). I won't say any more on the matter.

Well...negatively, anyway. :D

Also, if you're having writers block, would it be ok if they went to Terrek's plane after a different visit? I want them to check out Satnak's home as well before I do any more. If you're almost done, never mind, but if you need more time, just say so.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:35 AM		Originally posted by cypher_zero:

OOC: Feel free.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:35 AM		On the Astral Plane:

Terra: Hmmm...I guess he's not ready. I can't get in.

Lisa: How about we check out Satnak's world, first?

Terra: Sure. I've been wanting to meet Forbes for a while now.

OOC: Ok, rampant, you're up.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:36 AM		Originally posted by rampant:

After a very bumby ride.

Levy - Hey ladies Satnak said you'd be stopping by, sorry 'bout the jump, but these cross multiversal portals do that.

Lisa - I'l be ok, but Terra needs a barf bag.

Terra - :yuck:

Levy - Here,... I gotta head out, Old Lady Stonechewer says her Grandson is a right nasty soulknife and wants to study here. Gotta do an interview on the little troll tyke. Kes will be doing the tour.

Kes, a short shifter wearing blue mage's robes and carrying a mithral buckler, drops his invisibiliy.

Kes - Hi

LIsa - Hello

Terra - Hi *ralph*

Kes - Take a minute to settle then join me at the ridge.

When Terra gets over her rough ride, She and Lisa catch up to Kes midway up the hill.

Kes - We like to do all the portaling here because once you get up you have a great view of the campus.

Terra - You register heavily for magic, I didn't think that was taught here.

Kes - It is, but the emphasis is martial arts and psionics. Now Me I never attended more than a couple classes here, you get to interview full-time students once the tour begins, I'm whats known as a free-range psi-user. I was born and raised on the streets, hiding my power and masking it behind my sorcery. Don't wanna get snapped up by Scavengers or recruiters for less pleasant employers. Oh here we go.

A grand visat is laid out before the trio. A great city composed of great living crystal trees erupts forth from the lush grounds. In the center a great mountain provides the base for a massive tower, smaller buildings grow out down the sides with chutes of water weaving through them. In dry chutes specks can be seen flitting about.

Kes - The chutes provide water and transpotation, skife carts can use the resonant energies of the crystal in the chutes to maneuver based on a simple series of thought commands. Now hold on the sigil beneath you is a port pad to the edge of Open Eye City.
----------------
OOC: More tomorrow need sleep.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:37 AM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw:

OOcat: Too much…running through head……need time……to write very funny scene………Well at least I can mess around with stuff at this D&D convention—:confused:—Where did Silver go?

Silver: You call this a Book of Erotic Fantasy? I've seen nuns get it on better. (pulls out personal notebook) Now this stuff…

OOcat: :mymy: Oh dear……
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:37 AM		Originally posted by Chrys:

Beryl: Wait... I've been pulling stuff from from Greyhawlk's Abyss... and we haven't had any problems. I just Think Ao is a whinny b*tch.

Layla: Does that mean I can go steal spell from The Chosen? :D

Beryl: No I have a speacial Mission for you later... and if you start Eating the weave you'll not stop in time.

P/Y/R: It better be damn well after my plot...

OOChrys Yeah if will not be until Lisa gets back and meets her sisters... even though I don't care about linda.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:38 AM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

OOC: Sorry if I souunded b*tchy. I was just trying to play it correctly. Lots of things go wrong when campaign settings mix and I was just trying to write from Ao's point of view as someone who had experienced it before.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:38 AM		Originally posted by Lord Kale Fangblade:

Sa'vor shed Vortis's form and manifested as a corporeal being once more. he stretched, and flexed his normal form. He sighed. it was so much better to be in his original form. Sa'vor reached out with his mind, the thoughts of those around him swirled, emtions stood out like Neon signs. there was no trace of any followers of this so called "Dream Weaver", Sa'vor could feel that there was a threat on the horizon. somwhere there where dark plots abound, the crew was beggining to bicker like children again. now the danger was gone many of them where becoming complacent and assured in their arrogance.

Sa'vors mind dwelled on the world Satnak had come from, she had once said that the Hobo's of said world would eat the ogre's of this world for breakfast. seeing Satnak's power made Sa'vor think, what would he be like in that universe. if the last war hadnt ended he and Naz'roth would still be sharing the same form. there would have been no forgotten freedom.
Sa'vor smiled, he would have probably been killed off.

Sa'vor reached out and touched slips mind,

Slip: you could of told me where you where! its bad enough that you took a holiday without me. but then you go into deep cover and dont even bother to tell me

Sa'vor: if i had told you it would have blown my cover. your mind may be well shielded but there are entity's out there that could penetrate that barrier. you must of at least guessed that i wasnt dead. everone of the ubers seemed to know.

Slip: It was obvious. you didnt reform, you couldnt be dead.

Sa'vor: unfourtunatly there are things out there that can kill me permenetly.perhaps if someone destroyed my mind, i couldnt reform then

Slip: you had a Daemon Lord in your mind for over fourty years. i think that if anyone tried to destroy your mind they would be destroyed themselves. i've seen the dark things within.... sometimes seeing whats really inside you scares me.... all those entities clammering for attention.

Sa'vor: Things are different now. i have my soul again. they're gone forever.

Slip: did you miss me when you decided to go wandering?

Sa'vor: i missed you more then i could possibly express.

Slip: *smiles* thats good to know. perhaps we could call in sick tomorrow?

Sa'vor: :smirk: i like the sound of that...
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:39 AM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw:

13: So Pun-Pun's been beaten. Wasn't much of a being.

Bunny: That's power for you. It's like Word Being said "Power=Stupidity".

13:……Um……………I think I should ask this on behalf of all the crew………How does that take into account that Knowledge is Power?

Bunny: Knowledge and smarts aren't the same thing. Knowledge is what you know, smarts is how you use it. The problem is that so many people try to gain power and/or knowledge without first thinking about what they are going to do with it.

13: So could you lack knowledge and still be……okay, we're going to have to use a word other than smart here.

OOcat: Insightful.

13: Thank you.

Bunny: Exactly what Mr. Dim Bulb just said: smarts/insight is the ability to understand things in new ways, to think something new. Take your standard villain:
1: Get crazy power.
2: ????
3: World Domination!
How often does that work?

13: Never in the timeline of the campaign setting.

Bunny: Exactly. All your really good villains have been ones who at most had pretty good kung-fu moves but plans like multiple layers of safety glass,

13: :confused:

Bunny: Okay, safety glass—it's used in car windshields—has that sticky layer in the middle so that the glass doesn't fly everywhere when it's hit. Good villains have plans like that: you break one bit and the flexible part of the plan keeps everything from being completely ruined.

13: Waaaaaayyyyyyyy to complicated an answer.

Bunny: They can't all be winners.

13: So why do villains like Ariajni fail?

Bunny: Same problem: complex plan, no flexibility. I mean a quality villain would hav used subtle manipulation the whole time rather than going and killing Aerith. All they really need to do is put the crew at each others' throats and the FF would go down in flames.

13: By now I highly doubt anything could beat this crew. It takes something like Pun-Pun for them to take it seriously.

Bunny: That's only because we haven't had much in the way of truely competant villains. Each of the most powerful people on this ship has a weakness, however on the micro scale it is. The proper trigger at the proper time and they'd be useless. It's impossible to be perfect. Besides, what would you do if you were perfect? :D
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:40 AM		Originally posted by rampant:

Zip.

Kes - Here it is, the city was founded a little over a decade ago by Forbes Dralen and Levy of Havenforge, more commonly known as The Serpent of Forbidden Wrath and The Dreadknaught of Heaven's Tears, as a refuge and school for psi-users who wanted nothing to do with the war. The Open Eye Academy has been training the finest psychics in the multiverse for eleven years. We have two graduating classes and a third on the way in the next month or so. Our second valedictorian is the legendary Breaker Prime, Satnak Borisheel who wowed the world with the her history making defeat of Forbes, and subsequent dissapearance. Ususally I'd go into that part more, but according to Levy you know what happened there better than I do.:D

Lisa - :rolleyes: We're here looking at this academy as a possibilty for our future children.

Kes - Then it sounds like what you should do is sit in on a class or two.

Terra - That sounds ok.

Kes - If you will just get in the skife to your left.

Lisa - Is that what this is?

Indicates a platform with waist high walls coming out of the ground.

Kes - Yep *hops in*

Terra and Lisa follow.

Kes - Its best to sit down for this part.

The platform rises out of the ground and slides onto the entrance of a chute.

Kes - Ok we can stand.

As Terra and Lisa rise and look out over the walls of the Skife they see a mass of traffic, skifes ranging from floating platforms like theirs, or sleek boards for one person standing, speed along the chutes.

Terra - This is impressive, but is it safe?

Kes - Yes and no

Lisa - What?

Kes - Its safe enough with practice or a good pilot, but yeah we get alot of incidents with new kids, and the obligatory speed demons, about 6 years ago Forbes programmed a sim so younger kids could practice whithout breaking their necks. The racers took a little longer, but We managed to get some declared racing space and events in exchange for doing tours and mail.

Lisa - Your a Racer?

Terra - How much torture is stomach going to take today?

Kes - No worries I'll be gentle, and as far as stomachs go... Just don't eat the chili.

Lisa and Terra exchange looks.:eek: :confused:

Lisa - That explains so much.

Terra - and yet I didn't want to know.

Kes - Any indicators of what kind of powers your sprats have an affinity for?

Terra - Um I can manifest a mindblade, have some manifesting ability, druidics and sorcery.

Lisa - I'm a Paladin if that matters.

Kes - Well I meant do your families have any history of special power.

Terra - Well I have this thing with shadows, its not shadow magic in the traditional sense, but well.

Brings forth a sliver of darkness and forms it into a sphere.

Kes - Interesting, but I have no idea how that might influence anything. Eh its not that big a deal, just trying to pick a class... Hmmm Tolos is setting up about now, wanna see a blade weaver in action?
-----------------------------

Tolos (tall male Kalashtar with blue hair and grey eyes) - Welcome Kes, make our geusts comfortable whilst I begin my class. OK YOU LITTLE SNOTS YOU KNOW THE DRILL I WANNA SEE YOU SWEAT.

Lisa - :uh-huh: Like some demented crosss between an etiquette instructor and a drill sargeant.

Tolos - Similar comments could be made about blade weaving. My art is the pinnacle of soulknife accompliishment.

Kes - Not according to last years tournament:P

Tolos - SHUT UP FURBALL BEFORE I MAKE YOU RUN TILL YOUR LEGS FALL OFF.

Terra - Bipolar much?

Tolos - Ahem, a Blade weaver is trained not only to manifest a mindblade, but to reforge it with other strength. For example, Timon come here.

A short, elven, boy in red robes, carrying a scroll belt and book pouch, dashes over as fast as his legs will carry him.

Tolos - ALRIGHT MAGGOT, KATA #4 LEMUR

Timon drops into a defensive stance, legs wide ready to dart in any direction. His left hand lashes forward with a fencer's grace to bring a massive warhammer whistling through the air with the force of a thunderbolt, a quick spin and twin katana rippling with necromantic force cast a chill in the air around the boy. A few strokes later a prismatic longsword, with a blade that looks like it came off a loom from the endless battlefield, is dancing amongst the flying scimitars of a blade barrier. The display ends and the boy waits in a nuetral posture attentive and alert.

Tolos - Excellent form now return to your warm up exercises.

Terra - I see you combine the mindblade with magic to expand its power and capabilities.

Tolos - It also works with most many other disciplines: incarnum, psionics, shadow magic, I even teach the art to a few 'icers, First graduating class had a warlock pupil of mine. Each Discipline reacts differently with the mindblade, because each path has a different influence on your soul, heart, and mind. A few have even managed to weave multiple disciplines into it. Excuse me. FORM UP SPARING GEAR ON AND HAUL ARSE YOUR PARTNERS WILL BE ASSIGNED BY YOUR GEAR.

The students activate small callstones in their belts and a pile of weights appear in front of each.

Lisa - Weight Training?

Kes - Yep most of your first year classes are academia and learning to move in the basic weight set, starts at 10 and gets to usually about 200 pounds by the time you start taking serious classes like this. Tolos here is a real task master and adds another 50 or so to that total each semester,you take his class. the usual count is 30 to forty per but, old lead foot here is a fanatic.
---------------------------

Kes - This is a more basic class, Energistic Reinforcement.

Teaher ( A shorter than average old gnome ) - This here is a femur its got weak points here and here, what technique is best for this.

Student A (Human male about 14) - A Tornek ring covering each point.

Teacher - Good what else?

Student B (Half-orc Female about 10 or 11) - A permanent core infusion, the femur is one of the most important bones in a warriors body you gotta keep it intact.

Teacher - Good Now demonstrate.

A gets out of his chair and picks up a boulder almost half as big as he is, while B sets her leg up on another.

Terra - Your kidding me.:eek: :eek: :eek:

Lisa - This is insane!

Kes - Yeah that rock is no where near heavy enough.

A brings the rock down on B's leg, and starts back to his seat.

B is bearing a bit of a grimace but, seems fine.

Teacher - Yeah it can pinch a bit. Good jod Meshka.

Meshka - Yay!

Terra - Thats how Satnak does it!

Kes - Part of it yeah.
------------------------------
OOC : More later
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:41 AM		Kes: What do you think so far?

Terra: I'm seriously considering asking if I can start in Blade Weaving.

Lisa: The whole femur thing kind of weirded me out, but that kind of thing happens in war. I guess it's a good idea to get used to it.

Kes: An unfortunate necessity, yes, but I'm glad you like it so far.

Terra pulls out a small satchel, takes out an herbal leaf, and begins sucking on it.

Lisa: What's that?

Terra: I'm still feeling a little queasy. This should help get rid of it.

Kes: If you're ready, the next stop is this way.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:42 AM		Originally posted by SilvecatMoonpaw:

Bunny: Oooooo, a new form of Cuisinart!

13: Here's a dictionary. Look up the word "subtle".

Bunny: Oh, come on! You can't cross an etiquette instructor and a drill sargeant. Whole thing would spontaneously combust from trying to polite your ears off.

13: Actually, it's called a governess.

Bunny: Kata #4 Lemur. Sounds like the title of a drunken kung-fu flick.

13: Psychic weight-lifting. The dream of every arm-chair althele.

Bunny: Femur is also one of the most useful parts of the body: pick it up, hey! you've got a club.

13: Hey, I didn't know the circus was in town. Look, they have one of those chinese acrobats that juggles balls on their feet.

Bunny: I've seen people do that.

13: Really?

Bunny: They're usually flatter.

13: Any classes hear teach you how to win a fight without violence?

Bunny: They're using D&D rules: no.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:43 AM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

Back at the castle Nalfien, Volrath, and the various others are sitting tapping their fingers.

Volrath: Whoa, wait a minute.

Nalfien: What?

Volrath: Terra is thinking of sending her future kids to a school other than Sigil prep.

Nalfien: That's horrible. Those kids deserve to go the ultimate party school!

Volrath waves his hand around, and pulls out a crystal ball. In it appears a traditional drow priestess with all the spider odaments.

Volrath: MADDIE!

Maddie Webber: WHAT YOU SNIVELING MALE?!

Volrath: I'M CALLING IN A FAVOR!

Maddie: WHAT?!

Volrath: SOME OF MY FRIENDS ARE LOOKING FOR A SCHOOL TO SENT THEIR CHILDREN TO! I WANT YOU TO SHOW THEM AROUND SIGIL PREP!

Maddie: FINE, BUT YOU HAVE TO SEND BACK THOSE IMAGE CRYSTALS!

Volrath: Fine with me. Thank you. :D

Maddie: SILENCE MALE!

The image in the ball fades, and Volrath goes back to being bored.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 01:45 AM		OOC: Ok, that's all the one's I know about. Let's keep this going here until the new boards are up and running.
rampant

07-15-06, 02:33 AM		Kes - Whose up for lunch?

Lisa - I could use a bite, and Terra needs to settle her stomach.

Terra - Stop the ride mommy i wanna get off.

Lisa - Is it completely necesary to barrel roll at every turn?

Kes - Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

------------------------
At the cafeteria, a giant open air affair with retractable weather gaurds. Hundreds of students of many races eat, socialize, and generaly make fools of themselves. A Hobgoblin Ardent is arguing the finer points of sentience with a warforged psionificer, a half-orc soulknife is sparring with a changling wilder ( and losing ), a familiar head of white hair in a navy cut is visible.

Terra and Lisa - Rixle?! :confused: :eek:

Kes - How you know the Trance Blader?

Terra - We met when He, Telfon and Levy came to visit Satnak about a month before we lefft on this trip.

Kes - Back up, you not only know what happened to Satnak Borisheel you knew her well enough to help her recieve guests?!

Lisa - Maybe we shouldn't say anymore.

Kes - Aww come on we may not be close friends with her, but the rest of us do worry about the old chili guzzler.

Kratwe - Better not tell him anything the goofball is a massive gossip junkie looking for a fix.

Lisa and Terra turn to see the half drow they noticed earlier, a small female version of Rixle.

Kratwe - So your the ones big bro Rixle was talking about, eh? (pathing on a private line: is it true you two got her into a dress? )

Lisa - ( testing is this thing on? )

Terra - ( I'm not telling you anything that might prompt Satnak to flatten me )

Kes - RUN FOR YOUR LIVES ITS CHILI NIGHT!!!
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 03:46 AM		Kratwe - So your the ones big bro Rixle was talking about, eh? (pathing on a private line: is it true you two got her into a dress? )

Lisa - ( testing is this thing on? )

Terra - ( I'm not telling you anything that might prompt Satnak to flatten me )

Kes - RUN FOR YOUR LIVES ITS CHILI NIGHT!!!
:heehee :thumbsup: Great stuff so far, rampant.
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-15-06, 02:13 PM		Naz'roth sat at his Black desk, hand over a crystal ball. currently he was using a new scrying spell. one of his own creation, rather than drawing on viewing the people through magical ways. it used the wards around the "target" as the power for the spell. the wards themselvesw came his eyes and ears around the subject or area. so far no one had been able to detect the subtle string of magic that this spell had used. currently he was spying on the actions of certain members of the Chamber. currently they had been very busy, oh yes. they where following a stream on the draconic prophecy. they'd recently found twelve new symbols, symbols that Naz'roth and Sa'vor themselves had created to send them on the wrong path. the real symbols where recent. the prophecy was fluxuating and mutating, it told of a girl, a young girl. the prophecy called her " Kalimauraith" translated as " The dark within". the prophecy said that she would be the serveant of a entity known as Zum-Karak or "The Weaver of Dreams". only Naz'roth, Tara, Sa'vor, Slip and Feal-thas knew this.
Sa'vor had told them that they shouldnt act now, but wait until they knew the whole prophecy, acting brashly could and would be dangerous. they did not want to stumble into somthing that would mean their doom.

Naz'roth heard a nock on his study door, he realeased his hand from the crystal ball and spoke.
Naz'roth: enter.

a Daemon entered, one of Naz'roths more ambitious generals. this Daemons natural form was a large serpent headed creature with two ram like horns wreathed in a perpetual chill. his lower body was that of a goats. Naz'roth frowned, these "classic" forms where not to his likeing. they where far too arcaic. and often the Daemons that used them where not very imaginative with their forms.

Jarrlique: you wished to see me master?

Naz'roth steepled his hands.
Naz'roth: yes, i wish to see you. on the matter of your actions during my long imprisonment.

Jarrlique: i was only following your order..... *Naz'roth cut him off with a glare*

Naz'roth: *cooly* my orders where for you to expand my cult secretly and prepare for my return. from what information i have gathered you spent the entire time spreading YOUR cult and preparing for a coup.

Jarrlique: Lies my lord. i have ever been your faithful serveant.

Naz'roth: * gives him a lancing stare* i will hear none of your lies Jarrlique. you are a bad lair, i know that you have betrayed me and i will make this quick. *rises and walks over to the balconey, below they Naz'roths legions are gathered* Jarrlique, what is it that holds an army or any structure of command together?

Jarrlique: Power?

Naz'roth: no. Loyalty. the people below in the chain must be loyal to their supiriours, they must follow the overall leaders commands. when someone disrupts this chain... *slight smirk* accidents happen.

Jarrlique: please dont kill me my lord! i beg you!

Naz'roth: My dear Jarrlique, im not going to kill you. * Jarrliq rises, Naz'roth turns to Feal-Thas* .... he is.

Jarrlique's eyes widened in terror as he tried to defend himself. in a flash Feal-Thas darted forwards his sword piercing the Daemons chest. Jarrlique stumbled, the redmists of pain before his eyes, he felt the rush of wind as he fell from the balcony. he attempted a featherfall spell, but before he could finish the incantation he felt a large spike pierce his body, he looked at the cruel and wicked thing that was emerging from his stomach, his black blood flowed from the wound and he felt his soul leave his body into the void to be reborn.
Jarrlique felt somthing tug at his soul and he was pulled into a gem in Naz'roths hand.
Naz'roth gave the gem a look and pocketed it, he would use it to power one of the Golems he was constructing later.

Naz'roth: as you betrayed me in life, shall your soul serve me forever more in death.

Naz'roth turned to Feal-Thas,
Naz'roth: and that my student is how we deal with traitors. make an example of them.

Feal-Thas nodded and disappeared into the shadows.
Naz'roth turned and looked down at the legions below.

Naz'roth: My Bretherin. long has it been since you served me. in that time many of you may have thought that i was blind to your actions. you are wrong! i have made an example of what happens to people who betray my trust. this time i am willing to be lienent to the other peole who went in for their own intrests, renember, those who follow me loyaly shall be rewareded. those who betray their lord will find that i am not prone to forgiving a second time. WHO IS YOUR LORD?

The Legion: NAZ'ROTH! NAZ'ROTH OF LEGION! NAZ'ROTH THE DESPOILER!

Naz'roth: follow me my bretherin and one day we shall be able to live on eberron once more!

The legions below roared out naz'roths name once more. many beat their hands agaisnt their armour, the shrill calls of the undead joined the demons battle cry. Naz'roth smiled, he could see the faces of the guilty even from here, some of them nodded in acceptance and thanked him. others where afraid.

Naz'roth: so it should be.

Naz'roth turned and sat back down at his desk, and began to ponder on what was happening on ship. something was beggining to put its influence on ship. what or who this somthing was, Naz'roth could not tell. but it was plotting. and that made it even more dangerous.
rampant

07-15-06, 03:30 PM		Satnak is standing in a blast crater underneath the crystal tower of sharn.

Satnak - Ketty

Satnak drops to her knees.

Satnak - I'm sorry

A small cairn of rocks is the onlyother decoration in the blast zone.

Satnak - I can't be the sister you wanted

the sky flashes images of a blonde half-elf wearing leather armor of brown and grey, a hurt look in her intense brown eyes with a sheen of irrational fervor

Satnak - I can't be the daughter they tried to raise :weep:

An image of Satnak's parents rips across the sky. Their features unclear thanks to the memory erroding power of time, the only details left are the hilts of their swords one a blooming ruby rose complete with thorny bell-gaurd, the other a simple crystal rod within a circular blade.

Satnak - I can at least honor their memory.
----------------------------
Satnak awakens to find herself face down on her bed, her pillow is damp from tears. Serene is there.

Satnak - Why are you here? where's the infirmary?

Serene - You passed out, i thought it best if you woke up here this time.

Satnak - Thanks,... Serene.. you need to go home now, Your father is probably worried. I'll be by in a bit.

Serene - But, i want to be here with you.

Satnak - that means alot, but family is important.

Serene - Alright. :( -exits-

Satnak - I need to tell her, before this gets any farther, she deserves to know about my name.
----------------

Serene - (i.h.h. why was she crying in her sleep?)
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-15-06, 04:43 PM		Tara stood on deck, the sea breeze flowing through her hair. if felt good to be by the sea again. water had always been her element, she at always felt at home on the water. Sa'vor on the other hand saw it differently. he prefered Fire or Air, he'd always shown a talent at manipulating these energys. Tara gazed at the stars above, they glittered like a thousand diamonds. Night was her faviorate time, when all the world was asleep. where there was not the bickering of brothers and sisters of the noise of people on the street.
an image flashed before her, Death. dispare. misery. the blood. the screams.
she shuddered. still the memories haunted her every sleeping moment. every time she slept she had to relive their deaths. every time she had to stare into the face of her familys killers, a face of grim determination. of fanatical zeal. a face that belived that it was doing good.

Tara clenched a fist in anger. the hatred flowing through her veins. oh how she'd love to crush them, to make them feel the dread caress of the cold. to destroy them for what they had done to her family. Sa'vor was all the family she had left, he and his children. Tara smiled, it was good to see Sa'vor happy and with a soul again. of course with a soul he'd always been depressive, she had rarely seen him smile when they where children. he had always had that Haunted look on his face, the look of terror and anguish.
Tara had always been slightly protective of Sa'vor, even if she was the only one who could get him to talk. often he had to be forced to talk, but Tara knew that inside Sa'vor was grateful for the chance to be able to let it all out.

Tara sighed, she'd always been a dabbler in necromancy. it had always facinated her, death. Death was the end of all things. but it didnt have to, so she'd began to experiement with the manipulation of life force. she was good at it, she'd had to learn everything on her own of course. no one was willing to teach a child necromancy. by the time she was eighty she had finaly managed to animate a dead rat. and with that she had gone futher and futher. she had pushed the limits of the craft futher than anyone had in a long time, she had even managed to "aquire" some tomes on Necromacy from some adventurers when they returned from Xendric. When she finaly met Naz'roth ( while he was possessing Sa'vor) she had been thrilled, she finaly had in her grasp someone to teach her the craft. and teach her Naz'roth did, she learned much from Naz'roth. but she still wasnt near to knowing everything. it was then that the Paladins had attacked her home and she'd been forced to flee by Plane shifting. she had accidently ended up in Mabar, and it was there that she perfected her knowledge and where she realised that she had fallen in love with Naz'roth.

Tara smiled, how far she had risen from a simple Dabbler in the necromantic arts. she and Naz'roth where now equals in that regard, she had advanced as far as him on that path. even Naur had never dared to go so far. she smiled at the thought of Naz'roth, they where of like minds. whenever she awoke screaming from her nightmares he was there, gazing into those eyes she could see that he understood what she felt. she had never asked him about what it was that gave him nightmares as well, she understood that there where somthing he couldnt tell her, or anyone for that matter. and she accepted it, she knew that when he was ready he would tell her what it was that plauges him.
Endless_Helix

07-15-06, 05:21 PM		Ketler: Hey, Mikey, get the captain a Potion of Cure Moderate Gin and Tonic. It's bad this time around.

Mickey: Coming up *hic*. What'sh he done this timeimeimeime... ?

Ketler: Well, first he painted a black dot on his hand.

Mickey: Uh...

Ketler: Then he commanded that we go to Xen'drik to find Davey Jones's heart. Then he got himself captured by a bunch of drow and venerated as a god. Then he tried to escape and got tied to a pole over a fire and was almost eaten, but he got away when we started blasting away at the drow village. Apparently, he got a bit lost after that because when we found him again, he was being chased by yet more drow. We almost left without him.

Mickey: Err... Go on...

Ketler: Well, he found his old pirate hat and some old piratical clothes at a thrift shop and forced them on :coolcthul , calling him "Davey Jones" for some reason. The Jarlot decided to force :coolcthul to get its own ship.

---

*Camera shows :coolcthul dressed in pseudo-pirate garb with a really worn pirate hat that looks like a swordtooth titan **** on it. He has an empty scabbard at his side.*

:coolcthul : Alright everybody, let's be friends! I'm sure we'll be great buddies at the end of this post!

*Camera pans to the crew of Skum and Sauhaugin on a crudely lashed together raft*

:coolcthul : Now let's have a keen wingding! Who has the marshmallows?
---

Jarlot: Alright Lisa, you know you like me...

Lisa: No. No, I don't like you in the least. My wife would be very angry if she knew about how you somehow managed pulled me out of Satnak's timeline and back into this one.

Jarlot: That is the power of an incredible plot! Now look, you are eventually going to come over to my side.

Lisa: Err... What are you talking about?

Jarlot: Look, now you say 'Oh really?' and I say 'Yes, because you really want the freedom to do what you want,' and then you say 'You know what?' then I say ' Yes,' and then you say ' You're going to come over to my side,' and then-

Lisa: Alright, look, how do I get back to Satnak's timeline so I can continue looking at the school for our adopted children?

Jarlot: Oh... So you want to be Orlando then.

Lisa: I have no clue what that means, but I suppose that's predictable. I'm attempting to reason with a lunatic. Let me repeat the question, HOW DO I GET BACK?!

Jarlot: Get this. *waves a piece of fabric around*

Lisa: Okay, I know I shouldn't do this, but... whatever. Ketler would probably get me back over for an image crystal or two, but this is a sight better on my ego. Will this help?

Jarlot: How much do you know about Davey Jones?

Lisa: Absolutely nothing.

Jarlot: Then, yes. Yes it will.

Lisa: I don't believe you, but whatever.
---

:coolcthul : Hey Lisa! Great to see you! Have a marshmallow!

Lisa: :coolchtul , do you have this? *shows it the fabric*

:coolcthul : Err... yeah. We found it hanging on a tree with a note from Jarlot about how important it is.

Lisa: Oh, can I have it?

:coolcthul : Sure! Just sheck out what my new friends found! It's a virginal.

*points towords a large church organ, half covered in kelp.*

Lisa: I think its an organ, :coolcthul .

:coolcthul : No, I know what organs look like. It's a virginal. Organs are green or purple or sometimes blue in Xephs, leak like crazy and tend to turn a blackish brown color in sea water. A virginal is a piano for young girls.

Lisa: I'll concede to your expertise on that count.

:coolcthul : Now, I found that my hands are waaaaay too big to play it so check this out. *begins playing a cheerful jig on the church organ with his tentacles*

Lisa: Actually, I have to admit that is pretty damn cool.

:coolcthul : Yay! Oh, wait. You wanted that key-thing right?

Lisa: Yeah.

:coolcthul : Umm... I think it's stuck.
---
Endless_Helix

07-15-06, 05:24 PM		Terra: Alright Jarlot, where the hell is Lisa?
---
*Flash over to Lisa who is currently attempting to excavate the key from
:coolcthul 's tentacles with two long stick-like objects.*

:coolcthul : A little to the left...
---

Jarlot: Alright Terra, you know you like me...

Terra: Like YOU? LIKE YOU?! Do you know how many ways I am going to tear you into little tiny pieces and feed them to rabid girralons?!

Jarlot: Hey, that's not your line. Did you even read the script?

Terra: What?

Jarlot: Look, now you say 'Oh really?' and I say 'Yes, because you really want the freedom to do what you want,' and then you say 'You know what?' then I say ' Yes,' and then you say ' You're going to come over to my side,' and then-

Lisa: I'm right here Terra... Jarlot's just having one of his little moments...

Terra: Alright... Jarlot, you are never going hear the end of it from me.
---

Micheal: Alright, so we got the bloody chest so, now what?

Doog: Now we're supposed to go over to the mill and do that fight scene with the waterwheel.

Michael: Oh, so right up there then.

Stupid: And I am Captain Jack Sparrow, right?

Michael: Yeah, and I'm Orlando.

Doog: Nuh-UH! I'm Orlando. Jarlot said so!

Michael: Prove it with steel, liar!

Doog: Avast!

*The two fight in a spectacularly blase fight up through a massive stone mill with a somewhat rotted old water wheel.*

Stupid: Where'd they go? I feel friendless and alone...

*Predictably, the waterwheel breaks off, after Michael and Doog begin fighting on it, and begins to roll.*

Michael: ME!

Doog: NO! It's ME!

Michael: He gets all the hot guys! I'M HIM!

*thoughtful pause*

Michael and Doog: You're Orlando!
---

Stupid: That looks like fun! I think I get on as well!

*Stupid steps into the rolling waterwheel, gets hit on the head with a metal bar (SFXdemon: CLANG!), goes flying through the back of the waterwheel, causing it to break into lots of little bits. Michael and Doog go flying and land in what could be considered a provocative pose.

Doog: *somewhat muffled* Hey Michael.

Michael: Yeah?

Doog: *still somewhat muffled* You okay?

Michael: Yeah, how about you?

Doog: Just peachy.

Michael: So, who's Orlando?

Doog: Who won?

Michael and Doog: STUPID'S ORLANDO! Yeah! High Five! Let's leave without him!
---

Doog: Hey, Cap'n! We got the chest!

Jarlot: Finally! *Over the side of the ship* Alright Davey, start firing!

*:coolcthul 's crew begins throwing rocks up in the air to try to hit the Forgotten Freedom, missing pathetically every time, and often hitting themselves. In about five minutes every one of them is dead. *

Jarlot: Alright, call the Kraken!

Terra: You want :coolcthul to call the Kraken? Don't you mean, "a kraken" ? Why do you even want one of them?

Jarlot: So I can do the overblown death scene.

Terra: Oh, good.

Lisa: Terra! He's Unstable!

Jarlot: Unstable! You wouldn't call me unstable if I was stable!

Lisa: You're right, I wouldn't.

:coolcthul : Hey, Cap'n, the Kraken's blocking my calls. I didn't want to say anything, but, you know after the messy break-up we had... what do you expect?

Terra: So, can we get back to where we were?

:coolcthul : Can I come back on now?

Jarlot: NO!

:coolcthul : Please?

Jarlot: NO!

:coolcthul : Pretty please?

Jarlot: *conspiratorily* Does it have a cherry on top?

:coolcthul : Yes.

Jarlot: A day-glo red one?

:coolcthul : Yes.

Jarlot: Are you sure?

:coolcthul : Yes!

Jarlot: No. I hate those kind of cherries.

:coolcthul : *single emo kid tear*

----
OOHelix: Sorry guys... it wouldn't let me post it on one post... too many smilies...
Kaizer_Ryu

07-15-06, 07:28 PM		Terra: Why did you tell him we were going to adopt?

Lisa: I felt it best not to put images in his head.

Terra: You do know we're involved in the fantasy's of over half the males on board, right?

Lisa: Not to mention several of the females. I'm not adding fuel to that fire.

Terra: Ok. Good point.

Kes: Ok, now that you're back, let's continue.
Rei32491

07-15-06, 07:34 PM		The group launches an all out assault. Volrath and Nalfein are casting spells, Muradin, Steve, and Cuddles are charging him, Squinty is attacking the wall off to the side, and Vrin is still cowering in the corner.

Cuddles, Steve, and Muradin are trying to smash in Tyranthraxus’s knees (with little effect), Volrath and Nalfein are pounding at his head with spells. He drops Klaz and falls into a defensive stance.

Nalfein: It’s working!

Volrath: DON’T JINX IT!

As soon as he says this, Tyranthraxus unleashes a barrage of black flames that slam into everyone, knocking them back.
Tyranthraxus: You thought that killing me would be so easy?

Volrath: You HAD to say something didn’t you?

Nalfein: …shut up.

Tyranthraxus: My turn. :devil:

Before they can do anything, Tyranthraxus casts a barrage of spells and then slams his fists into the ground causing a massive shockwave, smashing everyone against the wall.
Cuddles and Steve are the first to recover.

Cuddles: Now?

Steve: Yeah.

Cuddles slips into the shadows and Steve melds into the floor as everyone else gets up.

Volrath: Why, oh WHY did you have to point out that he would be updated and trigger a puff of logic?!

Nalfein: Quite blaming me for everything that is going wrong!

Volrath: Even if it’s your fault?

Nalfein: SHUT UP!

While they are bickering, Tyranthraxus starts to cast Meteor Swarm. Before he can complete it, Steve rises up and uses the adamantine to weld Tyranthraxus’s left leg to the floor. Cuddles then freezes his right leg with his Ice Breath, pinning him to the floor and breaking his concentration.

Tyranthraxus: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THI-

Muradin: MURADIN SMASH!!!

Muradin launches his Hammer of Thunderbolt and it slams into Tyranthraxus’ face, bowling him over.

Volrath: GO!

Volrath runs at Tyranthraxus, jumps on him and starts to run up his body with each appendage in his upper body holding a blade and slicing into him, except his original arms, which are carrying a dinner plate (I don’t know why).

Volrath: Because it’s cool! And I’m hungry!

OORei: Ooooooooook.

Nalfein is running along side of his body blasting spells at him, Cuddles is slashing at Tyranthraxus’s other side; Pholly, Klaz, Squinty, and Vrin are still completely useless.

Volrath: KEEP GOING!

Nalfein: Duh!

Volrath: DON’T START WITH ME!

Nalfein: IF I WANT TO START WITH YOU, I WILL!

Cuddles: Shut up, Shut up, SHUT UP!

Volrath & Nalfein: Sorry. :weep:

Before they reach Tyranthraxus’s head, he unleashes a massive amount of black flames that are much larger and much more powerful then the first ones; everyone is blasted back and severely burned.

Tyranthraxus: YOU WILL ALL SUFFER FOR THIS!

As he is about to charge them down, he sees Muradin and Steve standing at his feet, both are wearing black suits and black sunglasses. Muradin has a black fro, and Steve has a brown mullet. They look at each other, then at Tyranthraxus, and then they each pull out a pistol.

Muradin: “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.”

And then they both cap in his ass.

Volrath franticly searches his pockets, then looks at Muradin and Steve angrily.

Volrath: HEY! GIVE THOSE BACK!

Nalfein: You mean to tell me…that you had those this entire time…and you never USED THEM!!!

Volrath: They were in pockets that can only be accessed when it’s funny.

Nalfein: (looks at Rei) I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!

OORei: :D

OOC: I'm not quite done with this yet, I'll say when they get back.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-15-06, 08:41 PM		Bunny: :zzz:

13: :zzz:
*******
OOcat helps Silver dispose of the bodies from the D&D convention.
rampant

07-15-06, 08:46 PM		Kes (slightly worse for wear affter a run in with the chili) - While we're here you can pick a few students to interview. Careful though the 'Zerks can be a little aggressive, and them and the Breakers love to throw down on each other. If stuff starts flying its best to get clear of the area.

Lisa - Zerks? Breakers? I thought Satnak was the Breaker?

Kes - Zerk is short for Berserk, breakers are graduates with a certain set of courses and capabilities, Satnak is just the best. They really take advantage of enegistic re-enforcement and disruption abilities, some of them can attack, de-buff, and hack all in one motion. Berserkers are almost like mortal hurricanes, lots of power physical and energistic, but the only got so much time before they wear down.

Terra - Hack?

Kes - like laying down a curse or poison spell or armor sundering anything that weakens your foe's ability to keep fighting at full effeciency short of killing it.

Lisa - Lets see any of these kids?

Kes - Sure but be careful some of them don't like being interrupted during a meal.
rampant

07-16-06, 12:08 AM		Terra - Ok lets start with those two.

Kes - Oi you with the nose, and you without.

'forged psi-ficer (Sparky)

Hobgoblin ardent (Ragnos)

Sparky and Ragnos - :rolleyes: What chyou want fuzzbut?

Kes - We got 'rents here.

Ragnos - Welcome to Open eye.

Sparky - 'rents means kids, kids mean sticky little fingers, must hide lenses.

Kes - Calm down there's no sprats here yet.

Sparky - Oh..., then hello.

Ragnos - Ever since that Gelion girl messed with his scopes and zapped him with his own lightning dorje, i can't take him near the main depot, too many kids, so we gotta schleck all the way up the mountain for the secondary, Oi.

Sparky - SOooooooo many smudges.

Ragnos - Literally got a few screws lose.

Lisa - More than I needed to know.

Terra - This seems familiar somehow.
Gladius_Lucix

07-16-06, 12:23 AM		Liam sits in his lab, tossing a wand up and down, apparently bored.

Liam: I don't have a reason to be here, now that I finished my research, but, well, it's kind of addictive, and I can't bring myself to leave. I still haven't gotten the energy to work for construction, but it's amazing amplifying existing items. Morgrave has recieved my report, and said that it was good and I was done.

Liam grabs a wand of prestidigitation and heads down to Erk's Place for a drink.

Liam: I need another project to work on as an excuse to stay here. What is there to do?

Liam sees a pair of redshirts walking by having a rather calm conversation, except that they're speaking complete gibberish.

Liam: A psychological study on how the redshirt supply remains constant even with the Forgotten Freedom's reputation? Nah.

With a sigh, Liam stops walking. He shakes his head.

Liam: I have a week to come up with another project before my funding is cut and I have to leave or join the crew. I would really rather remain a passenger.

Still with no idea in mind, Liam resumes his trip to the bar.

[EDIT]
On his way, he spots 13 delivering the mail.

Liam: That's it! A study of the Non-existant Entities, and the Entities from Beyond Non-Existance!

Liam heads down to the bar to celebrate his new plan.
rampant

07-16-06, 12:46 AM		Serene - She's admitting feelings for me, but she started acting wierd after she got up the second time. She was crying in her sleep.

Terrek - Satnak is a girl with quite a bit of unexplored history, I've been doing some digging and it turns out she was brought here just as her fight with her sister and brother in law ended. She was comatose for a few days and had had her arm ripped right off. She was pretty wracked for a while, took her a long time to recover her full power. Also consider she is from a very different world this may be normal behavior for the people there as far as relationships go. Possibly a time without to think things through, or simply her needing to clear her head after that whirlwind she just went through. Satnak is many things, but she is not fickle with her affections (i.h.h. ten years dammit, thats loyalty). Now that leaves the question of the Cat.

Serene - Fluffy?

Terrek - Yes, I can't simply move against him openly, not only does he terrify the minions on board with his antics (i.h.h. how many times has he ruined my slippers this week?), but he has the uncanny ability to always have her around when he is in danger. I need a non-threatening way to keep him distracted.

------------------

OOC: Hey Cypher got any ideas for Operation : Scat Cat? :D Terrek is your guy so... yeah
cypher_zero

07-16-06, 02:01 AM		OOC: One word: catnip.
Charles Phipps

07-16-06, 02:21 AM		OOC: Sorry, I've been delaying posting until the boards are up.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-16-06, 06:47 AM		On his way, he spots 13 delivering the mail.

Liam: That's it! A study of the Non-existant Entities, and the Entities from Beyond Non-Existance!
13: I don't think that's possible. I mean, we don't, technically, exist, so therefore he can't study us.

Bunny: He could interview us. It just wouldn't amount to anything important. Like on talk-shows.
*******
Silver: Star Trek, Nintendo, Tolkien, D&D. I think you’ve covered all the conventions I can be the joke of.

Silver finds herself standing in the middle of an animé convention.

Silver: :bored: Nice try. There isn’t a single animé cliché that I can be mistaken for.…………Hello?……………:confused: Should be able to hear me—

(behind her): What? :ahem:

Silver: Gah!…………*gasp, gasp*……:blink: Why are you carrying all those DVDs?

OOcat: We’ve got research to do.

Silver: For what? I mean, other than seeing some hot animé babe body.

OOcat: I just got an idea for an Erk plotline. If you help me, I’ll let you participate.

Silver: *:w00t: OF DOOM!*
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-16-06, 10:34 AM		A thin man wearing a tall, dark hat and pinstripe suit, shades, strutted into Erk’s Place, took one quick glance around, then grabbed hold of NJ26 and pressed a knife to her neck.

Shades Man (flashing a HUGE predatory evil grin): Now…everyone remain calm.

Everyone remained calm. In fact, they weren’t the least bit perturbed by the event, going about their business as if this happened every day.

Shades Man: :ahem: Can I have some attention over here?

A couple of patrons glanced up from their drinks, then returned, grumbling.

The shades man waited until a young waitress wearing too much black makeup passed by.

Shades Man: *significant cough*

Silence: Like, I’ll get to you in a second!

There was a low murmur of agreement from the patrons.

Dark Man: :blink:……:headexplo HEY! I’M TRYING TO HOLD SOMEONE HOSTAGE! CAN YOU PEOPLE COOPERATE FOR JUST A MINUTE?!

Erk: Oh for—NJ26, will you take care of this?

Shades Man: (evil smile) Ah, a negotiator perhaps?

Erk: No. You’re holding her.

NJ26: Don’t you want to hear the evil rant this time?

Erk: I’m in the middle of something.

NJ26: Right, chief.

Shades Man: Um…what am I missing here?

NJ26: You have any ninja training?

Shades Man: No.

NJ26: You an old and wise master of some fighting style?

Shades Man: Not very.

NJ26: You do know what happens when anyone who isn’t an old master of fighting or doesn’t have ninja training grabs a ninja?

Shades Man: Wha—*gurgle* (SFX demon strike, no sound of body slumping)

NJ26: Wonder if Andrea’ll want this one…

NJ26 drags the shades man into the back room. Erk is there, lost deep in thought.

NJ26: You okay, chief?

Erk: Read this. (hand her a letter)

Letter: Dear Mister Erk,
The evil [insert name of evil being/race/company/just plain weird entity] from [insert name of company/magical organization/city/country/planet/alternate time(/timeline/reality)] is/are trying to take over/destroy [insert name of innocent target reality/city/person/natural force] by means of sending out robots/demons/weird monsters/people transformed into monsters (at least once a week).
Your mission should you choose to/not choose to accept it is to journey to [insert name of target’s location] and seek out the guardian/fated savior [insert name of magical girl/(possibly) boy]. If you cannot find him/her, then find their love interest/rival/pain-in-the-rear (note: these titles are not necessarily exclusive in combo) who shall be searching for him/her for reasons of love/honor/friendship. If you cannot find the love interest/rival/pain-in-the-rear, simply wait around for one of the robots/demons/weird monsters/people transformed into monsters to cause a panic, and there is likely to be an evil minion(s)/villain there to taunt you.

The Goddess Animé

NJ26: Hey, aren’t these things supposed to explode?

There is the sound of amiturishly-created-by-people-who-aren't-professionls attack magic from the bar. NJ26 looks through the door. There is some hot-babe witch—obviously a villain—standing at the bar door.

Witch: This transitive space is now the property of the Dark Rams! You will all kneel before our master, the great Lord Ram-page! AH HAHAHAHAH—

A paper airplane flies into her mouth. The witch cross her eyes to look down at it in surprise. It begins to smolder.
(SFX demon strike resolved)
*boom*

NJ26: Better get the chili in here to clean that one up.
rampant

07-16-06, 12:54 PM		Terra - How dangerous is this place? I want my child to live long enough to pass exams.

Kratwe - Yeah it can get a little rough, but the older students tend to keep everyone else in line, especially the 'zerks they are hell bent on the rules. First ones for a little tussle, but the minute blood or bones get involved its all lockdown time.

Lisa - What is with the titles that everyone seems to have?

Kratwe - Yeah, those are kinda wierd. They just sort of happened, Forbes and Levy got their titles from their adventuring days. It started out as just a couple people using nicknames for competions and tournaments, its just spread to the point were you get a title. Most aren't official or anything, but they mean alot to us, its sort of like a pecking order. Your given a nickname then your supposed to make it famous, Satnak was Wrack-Attack for a while 'cause she knew how to make it hurt. My bro is the trance blader because the eye on his sword is hypnotic. Its sorta like making a name for yourself. Usually forbes and levy don't involve themselves so much as to grant a title, Satnak was a legend though. Its hard to explain.
-----------------------
Lisa - How are the classes?

Half-orc Soulknife (Jeck) - Its hard work, lotta book work, that ethics class is maddening. Tos in the fight training and your lucky to get 2 free periods to rub together in a given week, but you do it because the rules say you gotta have this many credits in these subjects, before your allowed to take the really advanced classes. I wanna be a blade weaver, so I have to learn how to use a real loom, and the history of the discipline, and the secondary discipline, I've been studying druidry off and on for most of my life so... Is that a ginkel stem?

---------------------------

Terra - What about these tournaments?

Changling wilder (Ricky) - Most of the time there is an event of some sort going down. Races, restricted tournaments, and such.

Lisa - Restricted ?

Ricky - Most of the competitions are restricted based on experience, and the number of courses you have, its not a good idea to let people who are near graduatiing to compete with the untested.
---------------------------
OOC : Montages are hard
---------------------------
Kes - Ok time to meet the big man

Lisa - Forbes ?

Kes - Yep he'll be easy to find today he has been sunning himself on the rim all day.

Terra - Huh? :confused: oh yeah were-snake
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-16-06, 01:42 PM		Feal-Thas glided through the undergrowth, as silent as a wraith. it was dusk, and the woodlands where as silent as the grave. Feal-Thas saw the glow of campfire up ahead and smiled, he moved in circleing around the camp. the camp was a standard fair, tents set in a hexagon around the Flag in the centre. gaurds had been posted on watch at each of the points of the hexagon, But Feal-Thas Knew Daggroth. he would have more posted in the tree's and sweeping the area, Feal-Thas glanced back to the infiltrator teams behind him. he sent forth his orders telepathicaly and the infiltraitors spread out, Above him Feal-Thas heard one of his snipers doing his deadly work. one of Daggroths gaurds was already out of the game.

Feal-Thas drew his bow and notched it, scanning the camp for Daggroth or one of the captains. he saw none. he heard a bird call which told him that everyone was in place and selected his target, a warmage on the edge of the camp. Feal-Thas aimed and fired, the arrow delt forth silent death onto the Warmage. who dropped to the floor, and arrow lodged in his throat. instantly his body was teleported away to be resurrected.
the whisteling noises of more arrows was heard as the infiltrators and snipers opened fire on the camp, many of the camps occupents where taken out before they could react. Feal-Thas broke cover and drew his Valenar Double-bladed Scimitar, he heard the notching of an arrow from across the clearing as a sniper too his aim. it came speeding towards screaming though the air, time around Feal-Thas slowed as he deflected the arrow with his weapon. Feal-Thas reataliated on the sniper with a ball of flame.

Feal-Thas raced into the centre of the camp, Skirmishers all doing the same, arrows whisteling past him. every one of the defenders that tried to get in his way he cut down before they could even retaliate. Feal-Thas grabbed the flag from the ground and placed it in the sheath on his back. instantly the Skirmishers made a defensive wall around him, there was silence in the glade. Feal-Thas spotted movement in the bushes as one of his snipers dropped from a tree, Daggroth and the other half of his force stepped out from the bushes.
Daggroths crimson mind blade glowed in his hands, currently it was in the form of two short bladed swords. Daggroths prefered fighting style. his pale features where masked by camoflauge paint and his black cropped hair had been concealed with mud.

Feal-Thas sent telepathic messages to his remaining two squads ( Defence team and Skirmisher Team), Feal-Thas put on a defensive stance and collected his mental energy.
Daggroths men advanced slowly, their line two ranks deep. Feal-Thas sent the command message and the skirmisher teams spell casters unleashed a barrage of spells. Daggroths team where forced to take on defensive stances, Feal-Thas struck plunging forwards in a deadly dance of death. his blades flashing. he managed to penertrate the defensive ring, Feal-Thas turned and saw that two skirmishers had made it. the sprinted through the woods, though it was easyier to ambush and place traps within this form of terrain it would provide them cover from spells and missile weapons. Feal-Thas heard screams as the Infiltrators behind him fell into pits, Feal-Thas ran on. Feal-Thas saw campfires ahead of him and he ran faster arrows thudding into the trees around him, he reached the camp edges and leaped over the nearest tent, and pretty soon had reached the centre of the camp.

redteam has won the match!

the voice boomed as they where all instantaniously teleported from the arena. instantly Feal-Thas collapsed to his knee's. he felt a shadow above him and looked up, there stood Daggroth hand outstretched. Feal-Thas took it and Daggroth pulled him to his feet.

Daggroth: good game Feal

Feal-Thas: Same time Next week?

Daggroth: *smileing* this time we'll beat you.

Feal-Thas: i'd like to see that. well, it better go rest up. i've got drill with Naz'roth in the morning.

Daggroth: *chuckeling* good luck, i'll see you at lunch ... if you survive.

Feal-Thas: see you then.

they and their teams departed.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-16-06, 02:01 PM		OOC : Montages are hard
Indeed they are. Great work. One question, though. About what age would student's start? Just curious. Might be important for later, might not.
rampant

07-16-06, 02:35 PM		Kes - Most students start about the early teen level, to many races with different age rates to make a big deal of objective age, some pre-teens can get in if they work really hard. That Meshka kid for instance spent a whole year studying and practicing for the entrance exams.

Lisa - Entrance exams?

Kes - Nothing major. Usually find something within a cavern full of vermin and minor traps and get it out. Plus a small written portion, you gotta convince the reviewers you actually want in. (I.E. usually level one to three)
rampant

07-16-06, 10:24 PM		Satnak - *knockknock* Serene? Terrek?

Terrek - That door holds the record for number of times she's hit something without breaking it.

Serene - :rolleyes: *opens door* -Hugs satnak-

Satnak - I take it your dads ok with this. :embarrass

Terrek - I know better than to get in the way.

Satnak - You may change your mind. Heres the new couch I owe you.

An astral construct lugs a new leather couch through the door.

Satnak - I would advise you both use it,... I'm not sure how you will react, where I'm from this is a big deal, here it might not even be unusual.

Serene and Terrek - (trade :confused: looks and sit)

Satnak - My last name is Borisheel, it means my family is from a sort of nobility. Generations ago during the rise of the first Half-elves, a few dozen families were given or crafted special artifacts, their origen is unclear, what is known is that each of these artifacts respond only to members of their specific family. If a family line was wiped out the item would self-destruct. Over the centuries families with these items became a sort of elite, with special traditions and customs that transcended those of nationality, religion, and political affiliation. After the war started, this put strain on the families, as others grew more hostile the families reacted by becoming even more aloof and focused on their own affairs. By my time we were almost considered our own nation, albeit one without a mark on a map. Thats when the slaughter began, Families were wiped out. My home was one of the last strongholds from what I was able to piece together afterwards. A few others made it to the island or some other refuge. The point is I lost track of my parents' swords when I lost my sister in the escape. When I faced my sister years later she wielded both against me, probably part of the reason I beat her, the artifacts can't kill a member of their own family. Cut me to pieces yes, kill me no, though I have a suspicion thats why she was carrying a few extra daggers. Before I went after my dear brother in law, I marked them to be returned to my room at the island by the clean up crew.

Serene - Sword's as in plural?

Satnak - Yes as the families grew more insular a few intermarried. My parents' both bore Ancient blades. Gaurded Heart and The Rose. Gaurded Heart belonged to Father, it was to be mine, Ketty was to be given Mother's blade upon reaching majority.

Serene - Thats alot to digest, but what does it have to do with us?

Terrek - Yes why tell me?

Satnak - Family is important, if Iwant to be with Serene, she, you, and I must come to an understaning, we are never to force her to choose between us, understood *glare*

Terrek - of course ( i.h.h. this is unusual behavior, is she trying to be ... *shudder* diplomatic?)

Serene - Your dodging the point, silly girl.

Satnak - sorry :( ,... The point is that I can't let the blades sit there forever. Either I have them transfered to a high security vault, or I bring them here. I was never trained to use them in a fight, and I really do prefer my own hands, butt I have a responsibility to make sure they are safe, and well cared for. Also... they are required for certain ceremonies.

Serene - Oh :eek:

Terrek - Again why tell me?

Satnak - Because what little remains of my honor demands that you know what your daughter is getting into NOW STOP ASKING THAT!

Terrek - (i.h.h. is that restraint?)

Serene - It souds like the choice is simple, why ask anyone?

Satnak - Because when I accept the responsibility to gaurd them it affects you because you are close to me. I'm just trying to do right by you Serene.

Terrek - I'll just be going now -winks out-

Serene - Come here silly girl -hugs Satnak again- Go ahead bring them here, their a part of your heritage, apart of you, and I want to know all about you. Good, bad, and Crazy.

Satnak - I don't think we ever finished testing your theory on breathing.

Serene - haha, shut up and kissme silly girl.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-18-06, 12:34 AM		OOC: Earlier today I had an idea for something we could do that could possibly help out in RPing other people's characters. If you were asked to give one quote/phrase/saying/etc. that described your character in a nutshell, what would it be? Kind of like in the NPC character descriptions where it lists the "hook" at the end. It doesn't necessarily have to be something they've actually said. To give you an example of what I'm looking for, I'll start:

Terra - "I don't believe in fate." (My thanks to Charles Phipps for this one. This is EXACTLY the kind of thing she'd say.)

Lisa - "Faith is a strength, not an excuse."
rampant

07-18-06, 12:40 AM		Chalky "Blood is nature's way of giving you soup and paint in one critter."

Kithle has already got one.

Death Paper "is that an acorn"

Squirrels "Chirrup squeak Squee Squeaken rup" or "Squirrels just wanna have fun"

Satnak "Life's a game... SO WIN"
Kaizer_Ryu

07-18-06, 12:58 AM		Hilarious, rampant. It took me a second to remember what Kithle's was.

What? Don't look at me with such pity! Just because it's in my sig doesn't mean I'll remember it...
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-18-06, 07:06 AM		Igor—"It'th tradithionel."

Roosevelt—"It is very annoying how that board squeaks." :devil:

Silver—"Tentacles? :bored: Is that the best you can do?"

Bunny—"My best work ends up on the Darwin Awards."

Lucky—"Does being a man in a woman's body make me a lesbian or straight?"

Caralot—"Tentacles…tentacles…Hold on a minute…just…got…to write this…down…"

Erk/Word Being—"Do not grow to far in power that you cannot think your way out of this paper bag."

13—"Everyone and everything is equally screwed. Trust me, I've seen it."

Saberiel—"[not sure]"

Jaela Jarlot (aka Batman)—"A picture is worth a thousand words. So I know the FCC intamately."

NJ26—"I'm a woman of few words. But many throwing stars."

Mendova—"Oh, you did not just pinch me."
Kaizer_Ryu

07-18-06, 10:19 AM		Igor—"It'th tradithionel."

*SNIP*

NJ26—"I'm a woman of few words. But many throwing stars."
I loved these two. :thumbsup: But why nothing for Saberiel?

IC:

Terra: How much climbing *pant* do we have to do *pant* to get there?

Kes: You're the one *pant* who didn't want to ride *pant* the skife...
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-18-06, 12:07 PM		OOC: hmmmmm.... I'll have to think hard about this

IC:

Naz'roth: " It'll take them years to peal whats left of you off the walls..."

Tara: " Death is but the beggining"

Feal-Thas: " War, its what i live for"

Sa'vor: " I've seen things that would burn the eyes from your sockets.... "
Endless_Helix

07-18-06, 12:56 PM		Hmmm...


Silence : I totally dig, like, selling my soul for, like power. It doesn't, like, cost me anything.

Ajihazi: We think that you don't want to see me when the Quor- Gluh... I WILL RIP OUT YOUR THROATS WITH MY TEETH IF YOU TOUCH THAT KITTEN! IT'S MINE! MINE! AS IS THE WORLD! YES THE DREAMING DARK WILL GIVE IT TO ME! AND KITTENS!

Klaz: Now, lookee 'ere mates! This is an astral dreadnought, known to usually hunt the unwary astral caravaneers. This is a partic-ee-lar-lee nice specimen, a shiela too. Now I'm going to try to touch it. Do not try this at home, chums; I'm a trained professional, and thus a complete dog's todger and all sixes and sevens.

John, Enlightened Dire Keel: Please, please, please... give peace a chance... I'm begging you...
urial angel of death

07-18-06, 01:21 PM		Squishy- "Everyone has their price. I'd value you at 2 coppers"

Volrath- "I have witnessed the inhumanity of the human creature"

Melvin- "People always tell me, 'When life gives you lemons make lemonade.' They never take into account that I'm alergic to lemons. Then again I doubt that, 'When life gives you lemons puff up and die.' would be a good saying." :(
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-18-06, 02:11 PM		Sa'vor Sat within the meditation chamber, Slip stood not far off. Sa'vors mind was in chaos, so many questions he couldnt find the answers for. somthing was very very wrong. some event was looming in the horizon, somthing even the prophecy didnt predict.

Slip: so what are you about to do?

Sa'vor: Im going to become a conduit for the energies around this ship, spirits, magic and the like. renember, right down everything you can, i can only hold this for about five minuets before the stream of information causes me to shut down.

Slip: what exactly should i record?

Sa'vor: everything i say once i enter the Trance. of course it will come out as cryptic prhases. often in obscure languages.

Slip: Good luck.

Sa'vor just smiled. he closed his eyes and silenced the thought in his mind, he shut down the defences of his mind. they where the only thing that kept him from becomind a conduit anyway. and it would be impossible to enter his mind or even percive anything within with what was about to happen.
Sa'vors frame shuddered and he began to speak, rather in his normal tones he spoke in a deep hellish voice. it bellowed out a single phrase in Infernal before being replaced by another voice, one like sliver that spoke out in celestial. another voice replaced that, a voice like the crackle of flames. all the while Sa'vors form coursed with magical energy, occasionly sparks of magical energy blasted forth. then Sa'vor shuddered again and all became calm, he stood, but it was not him. His eyes where replaced by a strange glow, of now decernible colour. it turned to Slip and spoke in a femine voice which held an other worldly quality.

Sa'vor: Listen closely child. i have been waiting for Sa'vor to open his mind once more to deliver a message to you. listen well.
Soon shall come a time when all shall be tried, where your physical skill or power will not be what you shall wield. for you shall all fall into the void of death.

Slip: how do we die?

Sa'vor: that is ... undecided. though it shall be a death of the mind. i cannot say more.... my time is limited. if i stay too long it will have an adverse affect on Sa'vor.

Slip: thank you for your warning.

Sa'vor: *fear in the voice* I must leave. Be prepared. and forget not my warning.. ( Sa'vor collapsed then, a trickle of blood running from his nose).

Slip ran over to him, he stirred.
Sa'vor: *groan* well that was new...

Slip: what did you feel?

Sa'vor:*weakly* at first.... Great anger and hatred. then... great peace, joy and happyness. then... i felt ... Fear. agony. but at the same time, a great sense of strength. what did i say?

Slip: at first, you spoke " A great Darkness shall consume all, and the world shall become as flame" then you spoke " and it shall be in this time, that the champions of Freedom Forgotten shall face a great test". then at last you talked derectly to me, telling me that none of our skill or power will help us in this test. and that we shall perish from a " Death of the Mind".

Sa'vor: *lifting himself up slightly* then we should be prepared.

Slip helps Sa'vor up, he leans heavily on her. against her she can feel his form shake and shiver. slowly but surely they begin to make their way back.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-18-06, 04:51 PM		I loved these two. :thumbsup: But why nothing for Saberiel?
OOC: I haven't really been able to figure out here character yet. Every other character I have has a schtik, so I can summarize them. I can't summarize Saberiel. Any suggestions?
IC:
Erk: Okay, I've gathered you all here—

NJ26: It's just me, you know.

Erk (pinches bridge of nose): Yeah. But I'm strapped for time and skilled employees. Since Saberiel's gone Lucky is the only one who can tend the bar. Without Bruce, Mr. T has to take on all the bouncer duties. At least Mendova is a help there, but she's firm set on being a waitress. Unfortunately there's a bunch of the scum off on their own missions, so that's a drained resource. And my leadership style is very bad at accounting for übers.

NJ26: What about the lesser-used?

Erk: It's still not that simple: they have to be able to hold under the pressure of cliché, and smart enough to allow the villain to get away with enough that they feel confident that revealing their master plan is a sage action.

OOC: Any suggestions keeping in mind the criteria?
rampant

07-18-06, 06:19 PM		OOC: NOT CHALKY, the first time the villian gets in charging distance he will eat it. Death paper maybe but be careful, he gets distracted easily, especially by bird feeders. A squirrel or two might work, but same problem. V is cliche, so he might have a feel for the job, assuming he's still alive. Ishmeal jr hasn't seen much action recently.

------------

in a forgotten corridor that got block off during the last round of remodeling.

V - Let me out, we've run out of food, the water is turning funny colors, and...

Jam - Time to trim my nails, ooooohh i need new socks.

V - Let him out, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THATS TWISTED LET HIM OUT.
----------------

Kes - That is the last time I let anyone talk me out of taking the Skife.

Terra - Oh hush up and climb.

Lisa - Do I have to seperate you two?

Humungous snake - WhAt are you sssree doing?

Terra - ... Snakes just don't get that big :blink:

Lisa - :OMG!

Kes - I hate it when you do that, you overfed garden skink.

Terra - Forbes I presume

Forbes - Last time I checked

Lisa - :rolleyes: When was that?

Forbes - Yesterday after lunch.
----------------------------
OOC: Hey kaizer how about posting any questions or such they still have for him, I've got the scene laid out, but i need a jumping off point for dialouge. Thanks
Kaizer_Ryu

07-18-06, 08:46 PM		OOC: Oooooo! Question and answer time! Of course, now that I'm on the spot, I can't think of any. :banghead:

Let's see. One thing I've been wondering: if the Last War is still going on there, why are the people on the Island pretty much free to do as they please without fear of attack/invasion?

Similar to the way warforged, magebred animals, etc. were developed during the Last War in the Eberron timeline that Terra and Lisa are from, what are some of the things to come out of the war here that could effect their children (so they can prepare them for things to come should they send them there)?

How/why did they come up with such unique disciplines and combinations of abilities?

What are some of the criteria for attending/advancing/graduating?

I'm not entirely sure how to adapt "normal" questions about school and such to a more medieval setting. I'm trying to combine questions about the school with those about the larger world around them, since it's quite different from their own. Also, I'm not entirely sure what to ask when the "principal" is a were-snake who can waste a nation with a sneeze. :D

BTW, I'm still hoping for more, but the relative success of my quote idea causes me to want to do my happy dance. :dancin:
Rei32491

07-18-06, 08:57 PM		OOC: My quotes.

Muradin - "MURADIN SMASH!!!"

Nalfein - "Power corrupts, but absolute power ROCKS absolutely!" or "BURRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! :evillaugh "

Cuddles - "Mmmmmmm, Spleen... :drool: "

Steve - "Dammit Muradin, I AM NOT A MONSTER!!! :mad: "
rampant

07-18-06, 11:26 PM		Earl "Freeze or Fry, just ride the sky."
-----------------------------

Lisa - From what I'm told you're still in the middle of a war. I wonder why everyone here is so... Carefree?

Forbes - Part of the reason I built this place, its a sanctuary. We train hard, we play hard, and if necessary we fight hard. The other Factions fear our strength, on the other hand we can't afford to just push them around. We are the strongest group for certain, but get two or three of the larger factions on us and we are screwed. We let them stay occupied with each other and they leave us alone mostly. Most of the students don't think twice about the war in given day unless they have a class that brings it up.

Lisa - Where did you find a crystal this big to carve the whole city it looks like its all one piece.

Forbes - Its Living Deep Crystal, its a product of the war effort out of Cyre, they developed it in conjuction with reach druids to make a new armor for the warforged. Didn't work took to much power and time to grow it, plus it needed more energy once it was installed to stay alive and not revert to dead crystal. Used for a structure on the other hand it can draw on the ambient energy of all the psionic auras here, and tap the geothermal vents around the volcano.

Terra - Caralot would give her left limbs for a crack at this stuff.

Forbes - Rides over now get off.

The group has reached the rim of the volcano, Forbes slides into a pool of boiling water and shifts to his slightly smaller hybrid form.

Forbes - Normally I would coduct business in humanoid form but this is more comfortable, and I fogot to bring clothing.

Terra - Your not asking us to join you in that?

Forbes - No, if you want one find your own. I just like this spot.

Lisa - What criteria do you use for your teachers?

Forbes - They gotta have something to teach, want the job, be good with students, lack prejudice against the students that would hinder their ability to teach, be able to teach, and impress me or Levy.

Terra - Speaking of Levy...

Forbes - Yes she told me about the her visit, and she put me right in my place afterward, she considers me her brother and thats it. Ah well life moves on.

Lisa - You're...

Forbes - Taking it better Then satnak did? I'm an empath, a stong one, I've walked amongst seas of dying soldiers, and felt their loved one's loss. Pain is a simple fact of my existance, more so than most others. Back to bussiness. The teachers are an odd bunch, the most accomplished masters of some of the most obscure psionic disciplines, half of them are considered to be mad, because they expect their students to master the arts they teach, Bladeweavers were once specialized elite warriors who could maybe pass on a fraction of their knowledge to their disciples. Tolos pushes hard, because he belives that people can and should learn much more. Most of them are like that, thats why they love my weight training method. The Gnome is Gilligag the unbreakable, he was a legendary Zilargo warrior famous for his ability to shrug off an avalanche. Here He teaches others what took him a century to master in less than a tenth that time. I found the toughest, the strangest, the smartest, and the craziest. Needless to say it makes for an ineresting curriculum.

Terra - the chili?

Forbes - Hasn't actually eaten anyone in years.

Lisa - What would our children be put through here?

Forbes - Well there is the standard academia courses, history, philosophy that stuff, then theres the stuff like mindscape interation, and energistic reinforcement, those are the real secret to our students success. Many from the other Factions might master one or two, but since we push our students, they master all of what we call the Basics : Energist reinforcement, mindscape interaction, tactics, logistics, strategy, survival, energistic control, Etc. On top of that there are the wieghts, jammers, and inhibitors each semester a student's load is increased in order to further train body and mind, these are where alot of the raw power is earned. I wont lie, not everyone can handle it, it takes a strong heart, a lot of guts, and certain mule-headedness. Though if your kids are anywhere near as tough as you two they'll do ok.

Terra - what makes you sure?

Forbes - Empath

Forbes Grows into a titanic serpent dwarfing even his intital size. Its scales are green with blue tips, from some angles the colors are reversed. Two massive wings fill the sky briefly then drop the massive Forbes into the main crater.

Forbes - By the way Levy has a package for you to bring back to Satnak, good bye.

ZIP

Kes - Ouch, it never fails he always drops me in a tree. :)

Lisa - Are you frowning or smiling?

Kes - Frowning.

Terra - Your the only one upside down.

Kes - I'm gonna get that glorified garter snake.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-19-06, 12:36 AM		Kes: What do you think?

Lisa: This has been quite informative to say the least. I think I understand Satnak a bit better now.

Terra: Indeed. Though, this place does make me feel a bit...well...

Lisa: Inadequate? I know how you feel. I always though my training was tough, but what I've seen and heard here makes it look like a cake walk.

Terra: I only have one thing to compare to it, but in a different way.

Lisa: What would that be?

Terra: My Sorceress powers. Not going insane after 300 years in Xor'iat is quite difficult, even if they're trying not to do so. They needed me at least relatively sane to keep an eye on Volrath.

Kes: :eek: YOU stayed in XOR'IAT?! And you're not a raving lunatic?!

Terra: Long story. :)

Lisa: You did mention that before. Do you know why they gave you those powers?

Terra: Not entirely. I think they picked Sorcery largely because of the chaos inherent in such abilities. I also seemed to have an untapped potential in that area. As for why they bothered in the first place, I have no idea.

Kes: Can we head back? It's getting late, and there's still that package for Satnak.

Terra: All right. *turns back to Lisa* I must say, if our kids would want to come here, I have no problems.

Lisa: Agreed.
rampant

07-19-06, 01:22 AM		Forbes, Deep in his private magma stream, does a happy dance (which is really hard with no legs)

----------------------------

Levy - Hey ladies, he didn't try the whole eat you alive routine did he?

Lisa - No

Terra - He was thinking about it, if that look in his eye was an indicator.

Levy - Nah he just had a leviathan a day or so ago he won't eat again for a while. He just gets weird around unshielded people who are in love. It affects his empathic sense.

Lisa - He said you had a package for Satnak?

Levy - Right here (holds up small brown box with white string)

Terra - I know there is a pathetic attempt at a joke in here somewhere.

Levy - I was kinda hoping she'd come herself, but...Yeah.

Lisa - Should we ask what it is?

Levy - If no one told you already then no. Just know its nothing dangerous...Unless someone has made her really mad. Like killed Fluffy mad.

Terra - I'm not sure I should touch that box barehanded now.
---------------------
OOC: Kaizer back to you, they don't need to get the box directly to Satnak, so go ahead and finish their trip, yeah cypher that means your back on the hook.
----------------------

Fluffy has a new collar that dangles a wad of catnip just out of reach. He writhes madly in an attempt to line it up for a breath attack.

Terrek - This is endlessly amusing, but I have guests to entertain.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-19-06, 02:17 AM		Back on the Astral Plane of their home universe:

Lisa: You sure you're ok? You didn't fare so well on the way there.

Terra: Don't worry, I'm fine. I was a bit confused by that myself. I don't normally get motion sickness.

Lisa: There's a first time for everything.

Terra: True, but I found out that it wasn't motion sickness. I tried everything in my repertoire I could think of to remedy it, but nothing worked.

Lisa: *worried* You're not ill, are you?

Terra: No, no. It's nothing like that. When the usual stuff didn't help, I figured I had misdiagnosed it. On a hunch, I tried something a little different. *pulls out an herb* Do you know what this helps with?

Lisa: No...

Terra: Morning sickness. ;)

Lisa: :mymy: :blink: :OMG!

Terra: :D ;)

Lisa: D...does this mean...?

Terra: You bet it does.

Lisa squeals with glee and hugs Terra tightly, both crying tears of joy.

OOC: I was actually quite surprised when rampant had Terra being sick to her stomach. I believe this is a case of being "future psychic" :D , since I was planning on doing something like that during the visit, anyway.

BTW, no one on the ship is to know. Even if Terrek (or, through the empathic link, Volrath) can somehow tell, he is to tell NO ONE. This is something only Terra and Lisa should make public knowledge. Thanks in advance.

One question for rampant. Since you said they don't have to give it directly to Satnak, would it be ok to let Terrek or Serene (if she's there) give it to her? Or maybe they could stop by the FF briefly and drop it off. Either way's fine. I still have a lot for them to do, so they won't be formally back for a while.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-19-06, 07:57 AM		Terra: Morning sickness. ;)

Lisa: :mymy: :blink: :OMG!

Terra: :D ;)

Lisa: D...does this mean...?

Terra: You bet it does.

Lisa squeals with glee and hugs Terra tightly, both crying tears of joy.
OOcat: You heard the entity, NO ONE is to know.

Bunny: We know nothing.

13: Our stock in trade.

Bunny: Of course, now I wish Silver were here.

OOcat: :confused:

Bunny: I'm a death god. I'll never be able to figure out on my own how Lisa could have gotten Terra pregnant instead of the other way around.

OOcat: Oh, is that all? (opens mind)

13: (watching) Oh, right, you're sane.

Bunny: Bet Silver is really p'd that she isn't in on the fun.

OOcat: Actually, I've managed to keep her occupied.

13: :blink: Are you getting that really bad feeling?

Bunny: Yes. Yes I am.
******
Silver: Okay, what is your obsession with tentacles?……Note to self, make campaign setting where that is primary source of magic.……Why is that bit glowing? I can honestly see no practical reason for that.……I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but COULD YOU MAKE THEM DO SOMETHING THAT ISN'T :pile:?!!!!!!!
rampant

07-19-06, 09:42 AM		OOC: Thats the plan as far as the box goes,...are we reading each other's minds?

OORampant - Congrats.

Lisa - thank you, but we are having a moment here

OORampant - Sorry.
----------------

Levy - What did you think?

Forbes - The child has extraordinary potencial.

Levy - Yeah that little troll certainly has a handle on that mind axe of his, but i meant the group from the Forgotten Freedom.

Forbes - As did I.

Levy - Hahahahaha.
----------------------

OOC: You didn't honestly think an empath would miss that, did you?
Endless_Helix

07-19-06, 10:03 AM		Ishmael Jr. : Ummm... yeah... this is a little strange...

Ishmael Jr. is hung 12 feet in the air by his pinkies in razorwire, with 10 pound weights attached to his toes, pink makeup on his cheeks, ritual tatoos all over his lower back, mystic runes carved into his chest, arcane sigils drawn in his blood on the floor, and a mo-hawk, all the while surrounded by a chorus of two dozen hooded cultists singing cthulnic chants and Andrea waving a disturbingly decorated knife around.

Andrea: THE SACRIFICE WILL BE SILENT!

Ishmael Jr. : But... the makeup; is it just me, or is it a bit excessive? And, I mean, the mohawk was in about thirty years ago, but now it's just tacky. I have to say though, you've definately got the mystic gibberish down this time.

Andrea: Look, the Voyeur in the Dark is really fond of both the makeup and the mohawks. Don't make this any harder than it has to be.

Ishmael Jr. : Remind me why I have to be the sacrifice again?

Andrea: Because you are a random redshirt, duh...

Ishmael Jr. : I resent that! I have a name, it's-

Andrea: GAG THE SACRIFICE! QUICKLY!

Cultist: Yesssss... Mistresssss....

Ishmael Jr. : -Ishmae-

Andrea: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Ishmael Jr. : -l Jr. *MMMPH* *The gag goes on*

Cultist: He is gagged, missstressss.

Andrea: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't matter now. He's a named character now, and thus a plot contrivance will save him. You probably have a few hours to live. Say good-bye to your loved ones, if you have any.

Cultist: Err... Why?

Andrea: Because the Voyeur in the Dark doesn't like his sacrifices escaping the rituals. I'll just have to give him some more crystals of Terra and Lisa :pile: -ing. That'll ensure my safety.

There is a sound like pinkies sliding through razorwire, several crashes of woodwork and a scream.

Andrea: *sigh*
---
Ishmael Jr groans as he looks up at the line of holes through the cieling, stretching all the way to Andrea's Room. Many of the Denizens of the Ship are looking down at him. A half dressed Marish and a sweaty Cuddles look curiously down at him. Kanatash floats over the hole stares for a minute, laughs and floats off. Mickey Ninefingers nearly falls through one of the holes. Rooseveldt glares at Ishmael Jr.

Ishmael Jr. : Yeah I know, the mo-hawk is tacky... Sigh... I'm sick of being a redshirt.

Lisa: Are you now?

Ishmael Jr. : Wha...? OHSHITOHSHITOH-

Lisa: Calm down... Flame's mercy... You didn't interrupt anything, and even if you did, it's not your fault by the looks of it.

[B]Ishmael Jr. : -SHITOHSHITOHSHITOH-

Lisa: I SAID, CALM DOWN!

Ishmael Jr. : Yes'm!

Lisa: So, you don't want to be a redshirt anymore, :rolleyes: can't imagine why...

Ishmael Jr.: Yes'm! Don't hurt me more than necissary ma'am!

Lisa: Sweet Baby Tira! I'm not going to hurt you! I'm going to try to help you.

Ishmael Jr.: *blinks*

Lisa: Uh... Hello-o, anybody home?

Ishmael Jr.: Err... Why do I have the feeling like there's something really, really, really bad about to happen?

Lisa: I don't know. Why?

Ishmael Jr.: Oh yeah, BECAUSE EVERY TIME SOMEONE WAS NICE TO ME IN THE SLIGHTEST, I ENDED UP ALMOST DYING BECAUSE OF IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT SUCKS TO BE AN "EXPENDABLE" PERSON? DO YOU? I HAVE BARELY SURVIVED FOR NEARLY TWO YEARS ON THIS HELL AND IT WAS PRIMARILY BY BEING SO PATHETIC NO-ONE BOTHERED TO HURT ME! KITHLE ALREADY HAS EVERYTHING I'VE GOT, CARALOT DECIDED I WASN'T WORTH EXPERIMENTING ON, VOLRATH HAD A SIMILAR OPINION, SA'VOR WANTED TO EAT ME BUT SAW A FATTER REDSHIRT WALK BY AT THE SAME MOMENT AND-

Lisa: :blink: I think you've got anger issues.

Ishmael Jr.: THAT'S WHAT KANATASH SAID. THEN HE USED THE "SPRUCEY SWEETNESS" ON ME. I BARELY SURVIVED TO TELL THE TALE.

Lisa: Oh... Hmmm... you know... you could just leave.

Ishmael Jr.: Naah. Captain already thought of that. As soon any redshirt steps off the ship without orders to, a mark of justice goes off and we die. And even if we have orders to, if we don't get back to the ship on time, the mark goes off and we die.

Lisa: So get one of the ubers to break the enchantment.

Ishmael Jr.: Friend of mine tried it. Bribed Ketler with some crystals of Jaela. Yeah, that friend is currently a stain outside of Erk's Place. You see, the mark went off before Ketler could attempt to remove it. The marks also prevent us from attempting to remove it, period.

Lisa.: So get a permanent antimagic field around you. Or antipsionic field if it's a tatoo of some sort.

Ishmael Jr.: Friend of mine tried that as well. That got messy. Kithle sucked his brain out because of what happened. I don't want to talk about it. I still have nightmares.

Lisa: Oh. So, you think there isn't a way off the ship. Does the mark explode if you go into Erk's place?

Ishmael Jr.: No. But if you use any of the portals to go elsewhere, you die. You can come back to the ship though.

Lisa: There has to be a way!

Ishmael Jr.: There's only one way that I've seen.

Lisa: :confused:

Ishmael Jr.: Die. And even then, you might be brought back.

Lisa: Oh.

Ishmael Jr.: Yeah, I'll be heading back to my corner in the bilge. I'll try to get this crap off and out. I say, this nail polish is rather difficult to look at.
---
Kaizer_Ryu

07-19-06, 10:35 AM		OOC: Thats the plan as far as the box goes,...are we reading each other's minds?If we are, I fear for all that is sane. :D

OOC: You didn't honestly think an empath would miss that, did you?Yeah, I figured he'd catch that.

Bunny: I'm a death god. I'll never be able to figure out on my own how Lisa could have gotten Terra pregnant instead of the other way around.Oh, that's easy. I figured everyone expected it to be the other way around, and I simply couldn't do something that predictable. :devil:

IC:

Lisa: Ok, I dropped the package off in her room.

Terra: What took you?

Lisa: Ishmael Jr. was having a rough time of it. I thought I could help.

Terra: He told you about the Mark of Justice, right?

Lisa: Yeah. But I fail to see how treatment like that can be considered "justice".

Terra: Funny thing about that is, they're under contract. They signed it, thus it is binding. The Mark of Justice is a bit of a misnomer, considering it doesn't take into account whether the conditions of it's application are actually just or not.

Lisa: Why did that just sound suspiciously like Reman?

Terra: That's the translated version of what he told me when I brought up the same issue. It took him three minutes to say it, and took me another two days to decipher.
cypher_zero

07-19-06, 10:36 AM		...
rampant

07-19-06, 11:12 AM		Fluffy - merororororow (last time i burn catnip :pint: )

Slawpaw - *HIC*

------------------
Satnak's room. Serene is sitting on the bed, and Satnak is standing holding the box.

Satnak - I gotta remember to thank them when they get back for real.

Serene - Tha little box might be able to hold a pair of short swords, not two full-sized blades.

Satnak - Not even Levy can carry them through a cross multiversal trip without getting hurt by the defensises on those things. This box -opening- just holds a call stone I started attuning to them when I marked them for delivery.

A small blue stone is revealed.

Serene - Callstone?

Satnak - Callstones are like mobile portals for items and such, each stone will attune to a number of items and from that point on will be able to summon those items from where ever they are. Even accross a multiverse. Now a small stone like this can only hold so many imprints, The living Varient at the Island is imprinted with every item in the Armory, and can increase its storage space through growth, a call stone can be attuned to the main crystal and use its imprints without actually using too much of its own space. This crystal is not connected to the armory, thats what the diamond in my braid is for.

Serene - Its an amazing system, but why is something that brilliant used for weapons?

Satnak - Its the times, the last war is still raging at home. The island strives for neutrality, but must stil be ready to defend itself. Also its not just weapons, rations, medical supplies, and messages can be sent as well.

brrrring brrrrring

Serene - Your callstone is ringing

Satnak - Someone coded a message.

Projection of Levy - I hope your feeling better little sister. Please don't stay away forever. Even though I can't be your lover, please don't let that take my sister from me.

Satnak - I need to see her again soon. Tell her about you...keep her from worrying.

Serene - hmph

Satnak - -lifts stone and turns to the side- ok these things usually place the delivery on the floor in front, but if you feel a tingling move away from it. A favorite prank is to send something programmed to fall on someone's head.

A soft glow emenates from the stone as Satnak activates it. Two sheathed swords appear one with a hilt of thorns and a rose ruby, the other a crystal rod and circular adamant blade. The ancient, but well maintained sheathes are the only marks of age, the Hilts themselves sho no signs of wear.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-19-06, 06:09 PM		Oh, that's easy. I figured everyone expected it to be the other way around, and I simply couldn't do something that predictable. :devil:
OOC: I know, but I mean mechanically (ironic that Caralot's original present would have made this sooooooooo much easier to decipher).

OOcat: Hold on, just give me—

OOC: I TOLD YOU NEVER TO TALK TO ME WHEN I'M IN OOC MODE!
Terra: Funny thing about that is, they're under contract. They signed it, thus it is binding. The Mark of Justice is a bit of a misnomer, considering it doesn't take into account whether the conditions of it's application are actually just or not.

Lisa: Why did that just sound suspiciously like Reman?

Terra: That's the translated version of what he told me when I brought up the same issue. It took him three minutes to say it, and took me another two days to decipher.
(secret)OOC: :w00t: I LOVE it when a character I made gets used for comedy. Lawyer jokes are gold.
rampant

07-19-06, 06:34 PM		OOC: We really need more new blood,... posters not necesarily characters. Either that or the rest of you old fossils need to get up off your duffs. When did the active contibutor list drop to a number you can count on one hand?
------------------------

Satnak - -drops to her knees- its them,... the blades of the Borisheel. My responsibility... I really never thought things would get this bad. Dammit Ketty, why did you have to go and die on me, you and your stupid victory or death routine. :weep:

Serene - Let it out, ... Just let it out.

Serene begins a mournful tune while hugging the sobbing Satnak close. Scene fades to black.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-19-06, 07:48 PM		13: I've started thinking about something.

Bunny: What? That you'd like to become a god?

13: :eek:…How…?

Bunny: Thyrs is a god. You wanted to be a Non-existant Entity. I think you have a passion for messing with reality. It's a natural step. So what kind?

13: Well…:shifty:…you know that mark of justice all the redshirts have?

13 looks around carefully. Then he utters just one little melody:

"Do-dooo-d'dodo."

Redshirts pop out from behind every piece of pannelling.

"MNAH-MANH!"

Bunny: You've been practicing that with Narrative Elements. :clap:
Kaizer_Ryu

07-19-06, 08:03 PM		OOC: I know, but I mean mechanically (ironic that Caralot's original present would have made this sooooooooo much easier to decipher).OOC: I'm not saying anything about how. It makes for better mental images. Magic is wonderful. :devil:

AND NOW THAT SONG IS IN MY HEAD! AGAIN! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU!!!!! :hoppingma

Now for something serious. I've been looking for a reason to post this for a while now. Just seems appropriate, since they're going to be parents.

IC:

Lisa: Say, Terra...

Terra: Yeah?

Lisa: I know where your shadow power comes from, but...

Terra: You want to know how they were unlocked...

Lisa: Yeah. I didn't want to press the issue before, since you seemed a bit upset by it. If you still don't feel comfortable talking about it, I understand.

A mix of sadness, fear, and anger at some memory crosses her face.

Terra: No, I'll show you. It's likely any children we have will at least have the potential to receive them, so it effects both them and you. Just know that if the way it was done to me is the only way, there's no way in hell I'm EVER unlocking this power in any of our children.

(Terra's memory)

A fog seems to surround Lisa's senses as she is enveloped by this memory. Sight, touch, smell, sound, and even thought seem to be surpressed. She could only guess this is what it's like when under Domination.

Terra: (i.h.h.) Correct. This is shortly after I was brought back with my father to meet Theronas for the first time since I was 8.

Lisa could hear voices. They were low, but she could still make out what was said. Her vision was clouded, but she could see two figures, one humanoid, the other Demonic.

???: Imbecile! You practically dared them to come after us! I told you to remain discreet, and you had to monologue!

???: *cringing* But, my Lord, I thought she might return willingly if she knew-

Theronas: Silence! I gave you orders, and you disobeyed them. I invested quite a bit of effort in you, so I will give you one last chance to redeem yourself.

Halester: *bows fearfully* Thank you, my Lord. I will not fail again.

Theronas: First, we must awaken her to her true form.

Lisa: (i.h.h.) True form?

Terra: (i.h.h.) Remember what I told you about Dal Quor? What I turned into for a time? That's what he's talking about. The Quori possessing me brought it out without unlocking my powers.

Lisa: But you don't turn into that now...

Terra: Only because I refuse to. I will not allow myself to go that far, because I may never come back...

Terra is led to a large reinforced door and thrown inside the room behind it. When she hears the locks click, all becomes clear. Terra had been released from the spell for a time. She immediately tried to free herself, attempting to blast her way through the ceiling. Her magical power, however, refused to manifest. Attempts with her psionics failed as well.

Terra: *grudgingly* He's sealed both my magical and psionic abilities, just perfect...

She turns to the large glass window, through which she can see her captors.

Terra: So, what now?

In response to her question, a half-dozen Dretches appear and immediately assault her. With her greatest abilities surpressed, Terra is forced into melee combat, armed with only her staff. She dispatches of them with ease, since even without her magic, she was still quite powerful.

Theronas: Excellent. Now, we continue.

Terra: What is the point of this?

More demons appear. This time, two Vrock's attack her. She has more trouble this time, but still manages to come away more or less unscathed. As soon as they die, a third group enters, this time it is a pair of Bebeliths. This pattern continues for over two hours. With each demon she kills, another, more powerful group enters. Glabrezu, Hezrou, and Nalfeshnee all fall before her with increasing difficulty. Terra was now covered in blood, both her own and her opponents. Exhaustion was beginning to set in from blood loss and excessive exertion in overcoming her foes.

Lisa: (i.h.h.) This is too easy. It's like they're not trying to kill you...

Terra: (i.h.h.) They're weren't. I found out later that they were specifically instructed not to kill me. They could do anything short of that, though...

Looking into the eyes of the two Balor as they appeared told Lisa exactly what they had in mind...

Balor 1: She's quite the catch, eh? I can't believe master Theronas is just giving her to us...

Balor 2: I'm not going to argue with free tail... :devil:

The first one lashes out with its fiery whip, just missing her as she dodges to the side. The second is more successful, his whip catching her ankle and throwing her across the floor. Dazed, she rolls out of the way just in time to avoid another whip strike.

Balor 1: Seems she's still got some fight left in her. It's always best when they squirm...

Balor 2: Indeed it is. :devil:

They both come at her this time. One strikes at her with his flaming sword. As she dodges, the other grabs her arm and slams her into the wall. Pain courses through her body as she feels several ribs crack. She is then hurled through the air and caught by the other Balor's whip. The world goes black as she is slammed into the ground.

Terra: (i.h.h.) And now, the answer to your question...

Still in the memory, Lisa sees Terra's internal avatar standing next to a large, black pool. It seems infinitely dark, deep, and gives off an aura of forboeding. She swears she's seen this before...

Terra: You have. Think back to when you were posessed by the agents of the Dreaming Dark...

Then she recognized it. She had been in the very same position when she had been overtaken. It was slightly different, but close enough. This was the place in your mind that holds all your hate and pain, your jealousy and fear. When she had been posessed, she had willingly fallen into this pool at the behest of her tormentors. When Satnak had freed her, she had felt something pull her mind out of this pool as well. Now, Terra stood in the same position.

Terra: (i.h.h.) I don't know how or why, but I knew that it was either fall in, or give myself to those Balor. I had been driven to this. If I fell in, I knew I would find the strength to kill them, but I knew that was exactly what those bastards wanted, and I hated them desperately for it. But there was no way I would simply allow myself to be raped...

Lisa saw Terra spread her arms and fall forward. Instead of a splash, she simply sunk in. Blackness consumed her as Lisa felt great power flow forth from the pool. Resuming consciousness, Terra shredded the Balor that had been tearing at her clothing before it even realized she was awake. The second was too startled to do anything as she turned him into mincemeat as well. With the same ease that Lisa would tear paper, Terra tore the door off its hinges without even touching it.

Theronas: Fantastic! Absolutely fantastic! You will serve me well.

Terra's rage boiled over at that point and she moved to kill him, forgetting one crucial point. Theronas snapped his fingers, and his control of her was reinstated. Within Terra's mind, Lisa could see Terra floating deep within the pool, apparently asleep. In her hand were what appeared to be two strings, one white and one black that led out of the pool and into the rest of her mind.

Lisa: (i.h.h.) What are those?

Terra: (i.h.h.) Memory strands. You and Volrath were the only things keeping me from losing myself completely. I still couldn't stop my body, but I was able to restrain myself to a degree until I was set free.

(back in reality)

Lisa: *crying softly* I had no idea...I'm so sorry...

Terra: Don't be. I was saved in large part because of you. But unless I can find a better way, this power ends with me.
rampant

07-19-06, 08:16 PM		Forbes - Interesting power the druid carries in her line.

Levy - Finally a berzerker to rival the great breaker prime.

Forbes - True, much as I hate to admit it the breakers have been on top too long, they're getting arrogant.

Levy - Like teacher like student.

Forbes - Your just mad thet we're better fighters.

Levy - In your dreams Scaly.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-20-06, 05:57 AM		OOC: …AND NOW THAT SONG IS IN MY HEAD! AGAIN! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU!!!!! :hoppingma
OOC: This is just too easy.
IC: Bunny: Okay, any other tricks?

13: Let's find Doog and I'll show you.
******
13: Hey, Doog!

Doog (using The Chain on some poor redshirt that scared him with the previous routine): What?

13: Did you always want to be a pirate?

Doog takes on a sad, nostalgic, reflective look. The redshirt scurries away.

Doog: No. I always wanted to be…(takes off clothes to reveal plaid outfit beneith)…a lumberjack.

OOC: And as for recruiting new blood, here's an advert you can put in your signature:

Come post on the Forgotten Freedom thread! There's no possible way we can steal your soul……………… :blink: Did I just say that out loud?

(Exactly as written.)
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-20-06, 07:15 PM		The Dream Weaver moved through the darkness of his lair. he could feel the pulse of the minds that worked for him all around. the prophecy was weak once again, somthing unexpected had happened, throwing it off balance. soon there would be the time to strike.
The Dream Weaver smiled, Sa'vor thought that everything was set, he was wrong. nothing was set, but the prophecy had a plan for the universe. so it fooled the people into worshiping it. then it used this power to infulence the world, in truth the prophecy's symbols where just a guess of what will happen. those that could manipulate time belived that it was given to them by the entity that is the prophecy. The Dream Weaver laughed his metalic laugh. the fools. they where all pawns for the entity that was the prophecy, and once and for all he would smash it. The Chosen one was already begining to show promise, the other player in this would be the Darkone. He would be difficult to bend to his will.

But he had a weakness. he didnt use his mind, he didnt think his way out of things. not anymore. and thats how the Dreamweaver would get him. the Dream Weaver felt a hostile mind behind him. The Dream Weaver reached out and smashed through the mental defences. and entered an area known as the Mindscape.
his victim appeared before him, a Darkclad assassin. The Assassin glanced around him in dismay at the blank terrain around him. The Dream Weaver flexed a hand shifting the terrain around him, instantly the Assassin was thrown into the air and landed sprawled on the floor.
The Dream Weaver brought forth the Humans worst nightmare, the Human cowered before the creature sobbing like a child. with that, the Dream Weaver snuffed out the Assassins life force. Easy. The Crew of the forgotten freedom would be more difficult to deal with. brute force would not work against such powerful entities.

The Dream Weaver felt his mind racing as plans began to form, he Grinned. it was almost too easy...
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-20-06, 07:33 PM		Ooc: :w00t: I Was Right! The Prophecy Is A Manipulation!
rampant

07-20-06, 08:16 PM		OOC: All prophecy is a manipultaion thats why it tends to be vauge, because that way it can be spun like an add campeign. Ask Reman.
----------------------------

Dragon Prophet - According to the prophecy.

Reman - Proffesional courtesy no bull ******** each other off the clock.

Dragon Prophet - Oh, ok then.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-20-06, 10:16 PM		OOC: I always figured the Prophesy was a bunch of crap. It's just another plot to control the actions of others. A very big, flexible, and hidden plan, but nothing even remotely resembling an inevitability. The mere idea of the future being set in stone grates at me to no end.

BTW, cypher, are you going to do the visit to Terrek's plane, soon? :bigeyes: :bigeyes: :bigeyes:
rampant

07-20-06, 11:10 PM		Satnak is oiling the sheathes of the Blades of Borisheel.

Serene - That stuff smells funny.

Satnak - Its Tanner's oil its supposed to smell like that.

Serene - :P

Satnak - Heh, you... well these are done. The blades themselves need little maitnance. Let me wash this stuf off.

Serene - Which one was your Father's.

Satnak - The Gaurded Heart the one thats made of that pink crystal, with the sharp circle of adamantine for a hilt. It also works as a Psi-booster.

Serene - Do you ever wonder...

Satnak - What it would have been like if my parents had been able to raise me as intended? I would have grown up with my big sister ketty and maybe a few other siblings. Been trained to use the Gaurded Heart, and probably indulged my passion for astral constructs. My incarnum abilities would be more focused, never would have become a totemist. I'd be a lot like my sister Ketty was aside from the brain washing. A fierce, and dashing Heir of the Proud Borisheel. In a few decades I'd probably settle down with a younger son of one of the other clans, or another wealthy half-elf scion. Spend half my time looking down my nose at people, or slicing up other Clan heirs in duels. I might even have been happy.

Serene - ....

Satnak - On the other hand I would be weaker, I would never have trained at the Island, I would never have met Levy or Forbes, Rixle, Telfon, Disarry, Terra, Lisa, Fluffy, Illis, or You. -Kisses Serene on the nose-

Serene - :mad: :rolleyes: Silly girl, you had me worried.

Satnak - Know this, I would never trade my life for another's. I'm alot like my sister, I hold on till the end.

Serene - Levy or Ketty?

Satnak - Ok sisters, plural.
Gladius_Lucix

07-21-06, 01:29 AM		ooc: If he's going to be doing the project, I'll have to show up sooner or later, so it might as well be sooner.
------------------
Liam sits in his lab, having submitted the evidence necessary to get his new project approved. Now he just needed to figure out how to study the Non-Existant Entities.

Liam: Logically, they have to have some existence. Otherwise we couldn't know that they were here. To even be here, or just be, they need at least some tiny bit of existence.

His shoulders slump.

Liam: But when did logic ever apply here? I think the best research I can do is interview them, interview the crew about them, and document the results of their antics. And then there are the entities from beyond non-existance. I don't even know if I "have" one, or would one "have" me?

OOGladius: I think it's more of a symbiotic relationship.

Liam: GAH! Who are you?

OOGladius: "Your" (for lack of a better word for the relationship) Entity from Beyond Non-Existance.

Liam: Ah.

Fully comprehending what's going on, Liam faints.

OOGladius: Huh. Well, considering, I think it went pretty well. Just glad I don't have to deal with a relationship like OOCrystalForged has with Kanatash.

Kanatash: What about me?

OOGladius: Nothing, but I was wondering if your E.B.N.E. wanted an apology from me for my part in the D.M.-Breaker.

Kanatash: Nah. I think he's okay with it.

OOGladius: Okay. Well, see ya.
------------------
OOC: Maybe the "Frequent Contributor list should be Charles and those who have used OO<insert_name_here>.
cypher_zero

07-21-06, 01:58 AM		OOC: Um... yea. I'm just going to say that I've got at least 3 different plots revolving around my characters right now, am on that list and have not (nor will I ever) used the OO<insert_name_here>. Since I am on that list, I'm going to point out that I don't think that method is adequate.

In other news, I am actually going to post the Terrek's plane thing, sometime by the end of next week (I'm not very good with deadlines). so... yea. It'll happen, just hasn't yet.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-21-06, 03:52 AM		In other news, I am actually going to post the Terrek's plane thing, sometime by the end of next week (I'm not very good with deadlines). so... yea. It'll happen, just hasn't yet.
OOC: By the end of NEXT week?! :eek: :weep: I only have so much I can do before I make them temporarily inaccessable to any other plots. Urial angel of death and Rei32491 know what I'm talking about...AND THEY'D BETTER DAMN WELL NOT SAY ANYTHING! :D :P I do agree that only allowing those who've used the OO<insert name here> designation to be listed as frequent posters is a bit too arbitrary, though.

While I'm waiting, I've still got two other planes I wanted them to visit. Here's one of them...

IC:

Terra and Lisa stand amidst the otherworldly beauty that is Syrania. A crystalline city of the Angel's floats around them in the clear blue sky.

Lisa: Wow...

Terra: My thoughts exactly. Mom told me a bit about it, but it simply doesn't do it justice.

A Planetar Angel flies down to greet them.

Angel: Welcome, travelers. What brings you to our fair city?

Lisa: We're on our honeymoon. Sightseeing and all...

Angel: Well, congratulations. I must admit, though, I'm a little confused. When I sensed your presence, I could feel a familiar aura. It's less now, but still there.

Terra: *smiling* Oh, she's here. And she want's to talk to you.

Terra closes her eyes and stumbles slightly. An aura not unlike the Planetar envelopes her. When her eyes open again, they are a solid, soft blue.

Gaia: Good to see you again, Gareth.

Gareth: That voice...Gaia?!

Gaia: Indeed. I'm glad you still remember me.

Gareth: But...you're dead... Who are these people?

Gaia: It's a long story.

After relating the details, Gaia gets straight to the point.

Gaia: Now you know why we must see Naur.

Gareth: I do.

Lisa: Naur?

Gareth: A Solar of great power and lord of this city. He is the one who sent Gaia in the first place.

Arriving at the palace, they are granted an audience with Naur. Gaia pleads her case as he listens intently.

Naur: I see. What do you suggest?

Gaia: The legacy of her tormented past still threatens both her and her unborn child. I ask simply that she be given the power to fully counter her darker side.

Naur: Normally, such a request is unheard of. I wonder why we shoud even concern ourselves with the affairs of mortals.

Gaia: She is unbound. You have seen yourself that her future is an unknown, that any attempt to see it is futile. Such a path is treacherous, and can have dire consequences if not tread carefully.

He sits deep in thought for what, to Lisa, feels like an eternity. Eventually, he smiles and stands.

Naur: ...very well. I will grant this favor in return for destroying that loathesome Rajah.

Gaia: Thank you...

Gaia's consciousness fades and Terra returns to normal. Having seen everything through Gaia, she knows what to do. As she kneels, Naur places his hand on her head.

Naur: This will take some time to manifest, and it will not be without pain, but such is the way of things.

Terra: *nods* I understand.

A glow spreads from his hand to envelop her body. Lisa watches with a combination of fascination and worry, but it ends with nothing seeming to happen.

Naur: It is done. You may go, now. Gareth!

Gareth: *snaps to attention* Yes, my lord?

Naur: Show our guests around the city. It's not often we have the opportunity to show off...

Gareth: *smiles* As you wish, my lord.

As they leave, Terra and Lisa thank him one last time before heading out to a spectacular view of the city from above...

OOC: urial, if you want to do the visit to Sigil Prep while cypher's finishing up, go ahead.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-21-06, 06:59 AM		While Terra and Lisa are being shown around Syrania, they hear a strange noise overhead. Looking up the see an illithid falling through the endless sky.

Illithid: WAH-HA-HA-HA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

As it falls past, Terra makes out the symbol of Thyrs hanging around its neck.

OOC: Kaizer, don't forget that you can use the Narrative Element Explanation Bird if you need to describe anything cliche or contrived. And don't foget about Caralot's Breakfast Squirrel. :D
urial angel of death

07-21-06, 07:49 AM		OOC: I'll need a little more time maybe a day or so. Sorry Kaizer :(

Also what other plots are you talking about. I know nothing. ;)
Kaizer_Ryu

07-21-06, 09:19 AM		OOC: Kaizer, don't forget that you can use the Narrative Element Explanation Bird if you need to describe anything cliche or contrived. And don't foget about Caralot's Breakfast Squirrel. :DOh, I've got plenty of opportunities to use the Bird lined up. :D I have a few ideas with the Squirrel, too.

Also what other plots are you talking about. I know nothing. ;) Damn right. :)
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-21-06, 04:16 PM		Naz'roth releases his hand from his crystal ball. once again that old anger brewed up within him, filling him with a Wroth not known for centuries. Naz'roth felt the power within him yearning to be unleashed To crush his foes. Naz'roth felt the old memories returned, those old wounds reopening once more. He had been tracking Terra and Lisa's process out of intrest, it was today of all days that they'd gone to Syrania. to add insult to injury they'd met with HIM. Naur, Naur the almighty, Naur the just. thats what they said, Naz'roth's form became wreathed in black flames. They didnt know the truth of the matter, all those angels up there, they had all but forgotten who had once stood by Naurs side. Naz'roth.

An image of his old self appeared, bedecked in Platinum armour lined with gold, a pure white cloak behind him. his eyes where golden. his hair was still white, his skin still like alabaster. emeralds where still adorning his armour. he still carried a shield, but with a different symbol. the moons upon the symbol where silver. his feathered wings where as white as snow. his old staff, with topaz stones and a shaft of pure platinum was the envy of all around him.
he stood by the side of Naurs throne his gaze rather than hateful and evil was kind and full of wisdom.

Naz'roth shuddered with Rage. little knew that Naz'roth was Naurs twin brother, once apon a time they had been a team. Naurs skill with fighting coupled with Naz'roths skill at Artificery and magic was a constant thorn in the side of evil. Naz'roth himself built and enchanted the weapons and equipment Naur still used today. Once apon a time Naz'roth had been good, and with him he brought the healing light to the wounded and a swift death to all those whom opposed the light. All until that day.... it was on the battle fields that Naz'roth had found a tome of pure darkness, he took it with him to his lab and began to learn its secrets. it had always been his intention to study evil and blackest magic, and with that knowledge of evil find ways to counter it. to help the world. But soon one of the other Solars, Naurs friend Korrelius, used this to his advantage. Korrenlius had been wielding dark arts for centuries, and now he had the perfect way to cover up his tracks. he accused Naz'roth of wielding the black arts and creating a plauge that had swept over the realm. Naz'roth had tried to defend himself, but Naur discovered the tome and was convinced of Naz'roths guilt.

Naz'roth had been put before a collective council and was stripped of rank. he was forever dishamed before his people and sentanced to death. his labs where destroyed, his artifacts stolen and wielded by the other solar lords, for long had they been jealous of these wonders. it was on the day of his execution that a dark voice whispered to him as he slept, that he could get revenge on the people whom had betrayed him. but only through walking the dark path. Naz'roth then fell into the Reseviore of evil that lay within him.
he emerged changed, he twisted his once good aims. and on that day he excaped, destroying an entire city as he went. to this day he holds a blood oath to fullfill his revenge on his twin and all those that persecuted him.
If they wanted Evil, they would get it. Naz'roth destroyed all in his wake, his bond with Mabar and fiendish energies becomind stronger and stronger.
He joined the Rajah on Eberron and quickly rose through the ranks and became a Daemon Lord.

Naz'roth sighed, in all his long lifespan he had never once accoplished one bit of his goal. for he knew that Naur would always be his equal. Naz'roth clenched his fist in anger, the rage boiled in his blood. He would have his revenge. even if he had to storm Naurs palace himself. Naz'roth raised a hand and activated a teleport spell. bringing him into the magical training room.
before him a shimmering Target stood ( almost seven hundred feet away).
Naz'roth reached within him and unleashed a ball of black flame.
it struck the target enveloping the shimmering shield in flames. Naz'roth fired again and again, putting more and more anger into his attacks. he unleashed a bolt of lightning, followed by more. soon the magical shield was surrounded in crackeling energy and fire. the ground around it had became blackened and twisted. yet still Naz'roth pounded it. eventualy Naz'roth felt himself tire.
the Magical shield had been obliterated. nothing remained. the only thing the portrayed that it had once existed was a large smokeing crater.

Naz'roth shuddered. he had gone far this time in his rage. he shook his head, he should not let his anger carry him away like this. Naz'roth lowered his hand and strode off to bed. he would have prepare if he was ever to have his revenge. and on that day, They would come to know the error they had made.
urial angel of death

07-21-06, 08:53 PM		Naz'roth stalked out of the training room, fury burning in his eyes and heart.

Voice: That's horrible, what they did to you.

Naz'roth: Who's there?

Volrath: Oh just the spawn of oblivion you have learned to loathe. :D

Naz'roth: Aren't you supposed to be off the ship with Nalfien?

Volrath: I am off the ship. I just got bored no one was doing anything.

Naz'roth: What do you mean?

Volrath: OORei isn't posting anything new and...

Naz'roth: No I mean about being in two places at once.

Volrath: I am able to project myself to just about anywhere. That is why I can get past your mental defenses. I wasn't probing and I can't do anything as a projection, so I wasn't resistered as a threat.

Naz'roth: Interesting, but why did you come here in paticular?

Volrath: I just sensed the extreme anger and sadness inside you. I would like to say that this sort of betrayal and corruption is what keeps us Outer Beings motivated and doing our job.

Naz'roth: Come again?

Volrath: We are in a way a force of justice. We wait for a world to become so disgusting, evil, depraved, and horrible that it revels in its own destruction. Then we destroy them all and start over with another world hoping that this new one will last longer as a force of good. We will stop doomsday if the sentients of a world are willing to to selflessly defend it from us. Like what happened last time. If we truely focused all of our power on Eberron we could destroy it in an instant. The ripening Kanatash is talking about is the rotting of the last bits of goodness away from Eberron.

Naz'roth: So Kanatash is actually militant good?

Volrath: No he is evil as am I, but the ultimate goal we work for is good, in a way. I can for instantance justify any of my actions at the moment I make them, but if I examine my conscience afterward I realize that if I could die I would go to a horrible burning hell.

Naz'roth: If you truely believe you are doing something wrong why don't you change your ways.

Volrath: Because I am rash, childish, and won't be punished for my deeds.

Naz'roth: So you're a bastard.

Volrath: I'm trying to change, but it's a long road ahead.

Naz'roth: Just leave me alone.

Volrath: Fine *vanishes*
Kaizer_Ryu

07-21-06, 09:54 PM		Naz'roth shuddered with Rage. little knew that Naz'roth was Naurs twin brother, once apon a time they had been a team.OOC: Huh...well...that...was unexpected... Not that I mind, of course. Unintended turns of events are one of the things I like about this thread.

IC:

After a day of sightseeing, the couple returns to a room Naur had given them for the duration of their stay.

Lisa: What, exactly, did he do?

Terra: I have two opposing forces flowing through me. Trying to use both at once was like trying to light a match underwater. It's just not gonna work. What he did was begin the process of integrating them. Even Naur has no idea what the end result will be. It's never truly been done before.

Lisa: He said that it would be painful...

Terra: It involves protracted pain instead of sudden, intense pain. My body will be essentially reformatting itself as the two opposing forces meld.

Lisa: And...what of our daughter?

Terra: This is still the first month of the term. It will effect her, but far less drastically. Mom assured me that there would be no detrimental effects.

Lisa: ...

Terra: I know, hon. I don't want anything to happen to her either. That's why I went along with this. The greatest danger I could see for her was her own heritage.

Lisa: No, it's not that. I trust your judgement on this. It's just...I'm a nervous reck over this and she hasn't even been born yet...

Terra: Me too. Gaia's busy giggling. She knows the feeling. Motherhood promises to be our biggest challenge...
rampant

07-22-06, 02:52 AM		On the prow of the ship (away from earl and john), Satnak are sitting with their backs against each other. Serene is facing forward, and Satnak is looking back upon the deck.

Satnak - :embarrass Um...Serene, I know a really nice spa, and was wondering if you'd like to go there with me? (i.h.h. why is this harder than staring down pun-pun?)

Serene - What about your cat (i.h.h. little demon) ?

Satnak - That Slaypaw girl seems to have a handle on the little fuzzball. I got her cat sitting.

-------------------

Slaypaw - Vengeance is mine!! :D

Fluffy - meow ( :eek: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh...litterbox)
----------------------

Serene - Satnak, are you asking me out? on a date?

Satnak - um... :blush: yes

Serene - Then of course Silly girl, now come here. -turns and hugs Satnak-

Satnak - :cloud9:
-----------------

OOC: Soon, the drama, I promise its not going to be this easy. (insert maniacle laugh)
Seriosly though feel free to screw with this. I figure the more, the crazier.
urial angel of death

07-22-06, 10:44 AM		The drow you know as Maddie Webber sits in bedroom full of silk and spider decorations.

Maddie: Might as well scry on the people I'm going to show around.

She pulls out an ornate silver mirror. After a wave of the hand and a quick incantation the mirror shifts to show an image of Terra and Lisa in their room. The image only lasts for a split second as Terra's scrying defenses activate. A blinding flash of light shoots out of the mirror and fill the room.

Maddie: Ah! Guards get in here!

Two male drow in black armor wielding longspear rush in.

Guard: Yes Mistress *name that is far to long and containing many more apostrophes than should be necessary in any name* What's wrong?

Maddie: I've been blinded you idiot! Get me a potion!

Guard: Yes ma'am.

Both guards rush out of the room.

Maddie: Of course the little bastard tells me to guide an elf. I am so going to get him for this.
cypher_zero

07-22-06, 02:47 PM		OOC: Um.... drow in Ebberon aren't like other drow... for instance, they like scorpians, worship a scorpian god named Vulkoor (some drow think that Vulkoor and the Mockery are one and the same), and I'm pretty sure they aren't matriacharical. They also don't stay in one place for very long, etc, etc... Check out Races of Ebberon.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-22-06, 02:55 PM		OOC: Um.... drow in Ebberon aren't like other drow... for instance, they like scorpians, worship a scorpian god named Vulkoor (some drow think that Vulkoor and the Mockery are one and the same), and I'm pretty sure they aren't matriacharical. They also don't stay in one place for very long, etc, etc... Check out Races of Ebberon.
OOC: Sigil Prep is a fictional institution created by CaptainSwift as a gag on what a prep school would be like D&D style. It is located in the city of Sigil on the core rule Outlands. Thus it can have core drow.
cypher_zero

07-22-06, 03:05 PM		OOC: Yea... wasn't aware of that... not that I really cared, but... yea.
rampant

07-22-06, 03:20 PM		OOC: Not like it matters. :D
----------------------------

Forbes - This volrath fellow certainly is an ametuer. Such an obvious link, and no barriers.

Levy - Give 'em a break you may be the only real master empath in existance, of course everyone else is an ametuer.

Forbes - I'm glad i picked up this bit of telepathy from Tolos, its good to know that the little scamp is plotting against me.

Levy - How is he plotting against you?

Forbes - I'm dean of admissions its my job to choose good canidates, he is attempting to steal this one out from under my nose. Should I give Maddie a good scare, or just give up and buy her campus? The Lady of pain owes me a favor, or I owe her one, eh same thing in the end. Normally I'd come up with something less... Overkill, but i never liked Sigil Prep.

Levy - Yes a year or two in this business and you begin to detest party schools.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-22-06, 04:19 PM		OOC: Maddie doesn't own the campus. She's just a former student that Volrath knows. He's not her friend, he just has some..."inconvenient" information about her which he's offering to return in exchange for a favor. Volrath and Nalfein were the nerds of the school, but nowhere near as bad as the Artificers who kept talking in 1337. :D
rampant

07-22-06, 04:23 PM		OOC: Just goes to show you Forbes isn't as good a telepath as he is an empath.
cypher_zero

07-22-06, 05:22 PM		OOC: You made me do it.

H4xx0r
Race: Warforged
Classes: Artificer 10

H4xx0r is a warforged artificer that only speaks in L33T.
rampant

07-22-06, 05:44 PM		Kithle and Reman franticaly look through the list.

Kithle - There has gotta be a rule!!

Reman - Damn you Wikipedia load faster.
Endless_Helix

07-22-06, 07:01 PM		H4xx0r: i m 1337 li3k wh0@! teh r0xx0rz meh b0xx0rz! lol!!!!!111!!!11!11111

Kanatash: Can anyone but me understand him?

H4xx0r: i pwn u! lol!!!11!1!!!11!11 gg.

Kanatash: teh n00b.

H4xx0r: wtf! u b azn cr4z?

Everybody Else: :confused: :weep:
urial angel of death

07-22-06, 09:01 PM		OOChrys is typing away at his computer. He hears several loud explosions from behind his door, which promtly falls off its hinges. The smoke clears to reveal the gram'mar wielding a hammer-gun.

OOChrys: Damn it not you again.

Gram'mar: Your horrible spelling has offended the very laws of the cosmo themselves. For that you must die.

A spiked chain whips out from behind the gram'mar and knocks him over. At the other end other the chain is a female figure. She is rather shapely and would probably be called beautiful if not for the fact that her skin is made of a chromo like metal and her hair is made of tiny light blue wires.

figure: This one's mine!

OOChrys: Who are you?

Figure: I am one of the Muliebris, killers of those that cross-gender roleplay.

OOChrys: Well this is just my lucky day isn't it.

Gram'mar: *After standing back up* I found him first!

Muliebris: I am punishing a far more serious crime!

Gram'mar: Have you seen his spelling?!

As they argue OOChrys slips out his back door. He then breaks into a run trying to get as far away a possible. Too bad for him. The weighted end of a spiked chain raps around OOChrys' leg and pulls it out from under him. He falls forward onto the ground. The Gram'mar and Muliebris walk over to his crumpled form.

Gram'mar: Alright rock, paper, scissors winner goes first.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-22-06, 10:32 PM		OOKaizer: *shiver* The destroyer is manifest...my doom is nigh... :weep:
-------------
Within Lamannia, the Twilight Forest, the happy couple snuggle beneath the trees, listening to the sounds of the world around them.

Terra: What do you think?

Lisa: It's beautiful. I'm so glad we decided to come here.

It had been about five weeks (their time) since the events in Syrania. Terra's body had begun it's change. A constant, throbbing pain coursed through her, coming and going in no discernable rhythm. She had grown accustomed to it for the most part, but Lisa's massages helped her get through the rougher spots. Their love life remained largely unchanged, since it often times kept her mind off of, as well as eased, the pain in her body.

Terra: For some reason, I get the feeling you want to tell me something.

Lisa: *giggles* I do indeed. I was just waiting for the right moment. I guess that's now...

Terra: :) Don't leave me in suspense too long.

Lisa: Well...I'm late.

Terra: :confused: You're late? For what?

Lisa: ;) :cloud9:

Terra: :thinks: ... :mymy: Don't lie, 'cause that would be mean...

Lisa pulls Terra's lips to her own. The child Terra carried wouldn't be alone for very long...
rampant

07-22-06, 10:43 PM		Forbes - Now I'm just jealous.

Levy - Thats right you won't have kids 'cause you don't wanna pass down your empathic abilities.

Forbes - I'm not gonna force that on an incocent *shudder* the things you see *shudder*.

Levy - How long are you gonna spy on them?

Forbes - Until they get back to the FF, I don't trust the extraplanars, You know full well the Angels never had any qualms about backstabbing us, and they're the "good guys". Their last invasion nearly cost us the school.

Levy - Not to mention Thrane, and most of the Half-elven Legacy Clans, including all, but two of the Borisheel. How is our little sister doing anyway?

Forbes - Satnak can block me I trained her to myself, I can try to get around it, but not accross planes.

Levy - I meant the one you're trying to rejuve.

Forbes - Very good, there wasn't much left, but She should be concious soon, my theory about The Rose was correct it does strengthen the wielder's hold on life.
-----------------------------------

Satnak and Serene are enjoying a steam room (is swimsuits you pervs).

Satnak - :confused:

Serene - Whats going on?

Satnak - Plot senses tingling.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-23-06, 07:56 AM		The child Terra carried wouldn't be alone for very long...
13: Man, double your pleasure.

Bunny: ……………Okay, which one is the inevitable of bad puns?
******
OOcat: I'm surprised you aren't having a fit about this.

Silver: Meh, I need time to recover after all that hentai.

OOCat: (Note to self: keep hentai on hand for distraction)

Silver: Besides, it's not like I didn't intend this.

OOcat: :confused: (beyond-non-existant-thought-process) :OMG!

Silver: I'm not stupid: I knew everyone would make sure they didn't open my present.

OOC: :D
IC: *******
NJ26: Well, we have a talking newspaper.

Erk: And no more time. At least I know I can be creative.

Jaela: Wait! I want to come with you.

Erk: Normally we don't allow main characters on these sorts of trips. Can't take you away from the main plotline.

Jaela: Come on, I haven't had anything to do for weeks now. Even my dad is sitting around on his lean, swashbuckling butt. He doesn't want to show it but I think he's severely depressed that we've fallen in the Pirate Ratings. No one'll know I'm gone. And my class is listed as magical girl. I fit the genre like I was born to it.

Erk: :thinks: Okay, but you have to skip the flashy transformation sequence. We have to observe that rule for others, but I'm not wasting time on something that dumb.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-23-06, 02:09 PM		Silver: I'm not stupid: I knew everyone would make sure they didn't open my present.OOC: Ok, that was mean. :weep: Now I REALLY want to know what her present is, but am still too scared to open it...

As for this, I've had variations of this scene bouncing around in my head for some time. I happen to think it's just darling. :D

IC:

Early one morning, Terra comes out of her nightly meditation. The sun had not yet risen, but a soft glow on the horizon said it would be soon. She lay there in thought for a moment as the forest began waking up. She had been to places beyond imagining, seen things both wonderous and terrible, but nothing even came close to the sight beside her. The entire host of angels simply couldn't compare to the beauty of the woman beside her. Having a different sleeping pattern had concerned her when they had first started going out, but now had proven to be a blessing in disguise. The idea of waking up to this sight for years to come gave her no small amount of joy. Lisa's soft heartbeat, her contented expression, the rhythm of her breathing, Terra wouldn't trade this for the world. Running her fingers through Lisa's hair, she couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

She noticed the subtle change in Lisa's heartbeat and breathing that announced she was close to waking up. Terra got up without disturbing her, went over to the Breakfast Squirrel and had it begin making waffles. Where it found the ingredients or cooked it in the middle of a forest was beyond her, but it was a gift from Caralot... Walking over to the lake, she began her bath. The water helped soothe her sore muscles from both the transformation and a wild night. After a few minutes, a familiar pair of hands wrapped around her as she soaked.

Lisa: How are you feeling?

Terra: Much better, thanks. I think it's almost finished. The pain has been lessening the last few nights.

Lisa: Here. Let me help you with that...

Lisa washes Terra's back as the sun finally peeks over the horizon in front of them.
urial angel of death

07-23-06, 02:15 PM		OOKaizer: *shiver* The destroyer is manifest...my doom is nigh... :weep:

OOC: And thus it came to pass :D

OORampant and OOKaizer border a plane headed for an unmapped region in hopes of escaping their fate.

Intercom: Welcome passengers. Please keep your seat-belts on until the light has turned off. Do not be alarmed by the robot coming out of the cockpit. Only the guilty ones will be killed. Please don't mind the blood it will be cleaned up shortly.

Muliebris: Those that cross-gender roleplay must be punished.

OORampant: Well ****.

OOKaizer is already at the emergency exit wearing a parachute

OOKaizer: See ya.

OORampant: Wait for me.

Both of them jump out of the plane. OORampant opens his parachute shortly after, but OOKaizer just falls like a rock.

OORampant: What the hell are you doing?

OOKaizer: I don't have to out fall the inevitable. I just have to out fall you...

OORampant: Piece of ****.

The plane turns around and flies right over them. The Muliebris then falls right by both without a parachute of any kind. It hits the ground feet first, and bends its knees only slightly. The Muliebris then pulls out an unaturally long sword and points it straight into the air...
Kaizer_Ryu

07-23-06, 04:50 PM		*knock, knock*

OOUrial: Now who could that be? I'm not expecting-

*opens the door*

OOUrial: any-

*sees a metallic humanoid form dual wielding swords in the doorway*

OOUrial: -one. :eek:

Gram'mar: You have sinned against all that is grammatically correct. For that you must pay.

OOUrial: But...but...I've been good lately...

Gram'mar: True, your violations have lessened as of late, but your past crimes have not yet been atonend for.

OOUrial: *cringing* OOChrys and OORampant are greater violators than I am...

Gram'mar: The one called OOChrys has been dealt with for now. The one called OORampant is busy with the Muliebris.

OOUrial: Damn.

Gram'mar: This is the part where you run.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-23-06, 05:04 PM		An egg shaped inevitable approaches Bunny and 13.

Inevitable: You called?

Bunny: You the one in charge of bad puns?

Inevitable: Yes. My kind have no name so it cannot be made into a pun.

13: Would it really be that bad to come out of your shell once in a while? Zing! :rimshot:

*lots and lots of violent retribution on 13*

Inevitable: My task is done. Farewell. *disappears*

Bunny: Ok, that may have been a little excessive. Even by my tastes.

13: Good thing I don't exist anymore. But I thought you were the god of death. How was that excessive?

Bunny: That much violence and no one dies. Seems pointless to me.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-23-06, 05:52 PM		Bunny: That much violence and no one dies. Seems pointless to me.
OOC: :rofl: Exactly. EXACTLY!
IC: Bunny: Why did you make such a lame pun, anyway? The first time it was just a bad pun.

13: :schemes: All part of my crazy master plan.

Bunny: This I gotta see…
********
Where it found the ingredients or cooked it in the middle of a forest was beyond her
Breakfast Squirrel: *whirrrrrrrrr, DING!*

Illithid: Dude, like, no one can understand you.
Crystalforged

07-23-06, 06:40 PM		Somewhere in the darkest recesses of your mind. A two foot tall psiforged stands holding a kitchen knife almost as long a it is tall. An dim glow emendates from the creatures eyes. As you take notice of it, it simply tilts it's head to one side and smiles as much as was warforged can, uttering two simple words in a disturbingly cheery voice, "I'm back."

---

Elsewhere

Just as Gram'mar is about to inflict it's punishment on OOUrial a figure springs from the shadows, smashing the inevitable over the head with what appears to be a baseball bat.

OOCrystalforged: One down, one to go.

OOUrial: How did you get here!

OOCrystalforged: Some questions are better left unanswered, like how do Kanatash and Caralot's do :pile: .

OOUrial: (shudder) Good point. (looking towards the inevitable) I'm surprised a single hit took him down.

OOCrystalforged: (shrugs) I taped a disk with Microsoft word on it beforehand. I use little copy/paste on more important post's to make sure people can at least understand my spelling if not my logic. Therefore I figured it would be enough to get past damage reduction.

OOUrial: So what now?

OOCrystalforged: Well Muliebris needs to be taken care of. I'm not in any danger from him/her/it but we can't just leave that thing wandering around in our world. I'm still working on that part. Now we just need to hope those are the only two that made it into our world.

At that a new creature steps out of OOUrial's computer. It appears to be a tall, dark, androgynous human in a solid black suit with dark sunglasses.

Inevitable: I am Dramadar. I come to punish drama queens and others who are overly dramatic.

OOCrystalforged: ... :censored: . RUN AWAY!
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-23-06, 07:40 PM		OOCrystalforged: Some questions are better left unanswered, like how do Kanatash and Caralot's do :pile: .
Jaela Jarlot: :dancin: I know! I know! They let me take pictures. :smirk:

OOcat: No.

JJ: But—

OOcat: I mean not now.

JJ: Wha—OH, right, the joke. :devil:

OOcat: Fortunatley, if there was an inevitable of Evil Bastards it would have wiped everyone out by now.
rampant

07-23-06, 08:08 PM		OORampant - Actually there is he's just devoted to being one. Part of being around bastards too-long.

Muliebris - How do you know of Jernek ?

OORampant - I just made it up.

Muliebris - What :confused:

OORampant - Think who your dealing with.

OORampant angles its fall so the blade of the distracted ienvitable slices the chute off. Then begins sliding down the blade.

OORampant - Rule one of combat never try to fight your opponents strengths, against a poster that means don't try to apply logic. Rule two, only banter when its a distraction.

Muliebris looks over its should and gets kicked in the face by OORampant.

OORampant - What did i just say *****?
------------------------

Satnak and Serene are letting the masks for their facials dry.

Serene - ...Satnak How much more are you going to change?

Satnak - Well hopefully over the course of my life I will constantly grow, learn, and maybe even acquire true wisdom, but you mean my little metamorphisis don't you.

Serene - ...Yes

Satnak - ... Not much, my tail finally tanned to a proper shade so i match now, the grey marks have reached their full coverage, and the internal mods are nearly done. The worst part is gonna be the final realignment, when my body forces the energistic re-enforcement pathways to break down. I'll have to redo the whole system from scratch but that part is painless and just like re-starting a pathway after losing a limb. I've got a surprise for you when thats done with,... well a couple actually.

Serene - So the pain of the change is almost over, but the finale is going to suck?

Satnak - Yes.

Serene - Why did you do this to yourself?

Satnak - ... After Levy turned me down... I just needed to change something. I felt like I wasn't good enough... Levy has that effect on people. She's stronger, faster, tougher, meaner, and more skilled than everyone, except maybe Forbes, and she knows it. I can out maneuver her for a while, but thats it. No one can actually match her except, Forbes and he's just sneaky as all... well there isn't a word for the way he can manipulate energy, and phisiology.

Serene - You talk about them the way a younger child talks about respected older siblings.

Satnak - Levy thinks of Forbes and I as her siblings. I guess some of that mentality rubbed off.

Serene - How do see her now...

Satnak - Is that where this is going? Ok listen I'll be honest, I love Levy, she protected me when I was weak, trained me to not be weak, and has been a family for me. She's right we are sisters. It hurt that we couldn't be more, but I'm accepting that. You are my girlfriend Serene, I wouln't say that if I didn't mean it.

Satnak extends her tail accros the space between their chairs, and places the tip in Serene's hands.

Satnak - (i.h.h. I hope she never realizes quite how sensitive this thing is)

Serene - (i.h.h. her tail is so cute)
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

07-23-06, 08:15 PM		Deep within the perfect order of Daaniv it had lain, not sleeping, not dead, but in that non state shared by the charicters of a book left forgotten upon its shelf. Kyber had destroyed Syberys, it had not sturred. Demons had conquered Ebberon, it had remained quesent. the Dealkyr had ensiged ebberon, and it had remained in readyness.
Some questioned even if it was an inevitable, that it migt belong more in a plane of good rather than law. this mattered not, it was, it was here, it had waited.
But it did so no longer, in a tranquil valey the earth shook, tore, rivers writhed as the land was riped apart, it rose, first to its knees, then its feet. A thing of gold and glass, taller than dragons, stronger than giants. neiher myth nor legand, perhaps it had not even existed before it was needed. what everthe case it was The Inevitable of evil bastards and it was comming...
Crystalforged

07-23-06, 08:20 PM		Deep within the perfect order of Daaniv it had lain, not sleeping, not dead, but in that non state shared by the charicters of a book left forgotten upon its shelf. Kyber had destroyed Syberys, it had not sturred. Demons had conquered Ebberon, it had remained quesent. the Dealkyr had ensiged ebberon, and it had remained in readyness.
Some questioned even if it was an inevitable, that it migt belong more in a plane of good rather than law. this mattered not, it was, it was here, it had waited.
But it did so no longer, in a tranquil valey the earth shook, tore, rivers writhed as the land was riped apart, it rose, first to its knees, then its feet. A thing of gold and glass, taller than dragons, stronger than giants. neiher myth nor legand, perhaps it had not even existed before it was needed. what everthe case it was The Inevitable of evil bastards and it was comming...
Dramadar: When I'm finished here, I'm coming for you next.



OOC: :P

Dramadar: Don't think I've forgotten about you. (Pulls out MIB-style blaster)

OOCrystalforged: :eek:
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

07-23-06, 08:45 PM		First booze Paraelemental: "Are you sure this will work?"
Second Booze Paraelemental: "It has to, there killing us."
First booze Paraelemental: "What if they catch me?"
Second Booze Paraelemental: "Better than sitting at home wating to die isnt it?"
First booze Paraelemental: "Ok, lets do it"
Shortly after this conversation a new rule apears n the list, apparently penned using Kranathi bitterale as ink.
'Hence forth no member of the crew or pasengers of the forgotten fredom shall posess Levels in the 'drunken master' prestege class, nor take any feat flaw or other rules related construvt whose name or nature shall in any way reffer to the imbilement of intoxicating liquids, solids or vapors nor enchant any items pertaining to the above, on pain of pain.'
****
ooc Eled "You cant scare me Dramadar . Im Dyslexic Ive been in hiding since the Gram'mar showed up... :eek:

( ooc: Did any one like Chance the charicter I introduced? I had a few plans for him but I was hoping someone else would show him around while I work on them. If not no bigge just some responce to him would be handy before I go on with him)
rampant

07-23-06, 09:28 PM		OOC: No you just intro-ed him at a busy point post some more of his interaction and you should see results.

Muliedris - Haha

OORampant sidesteps and trips the inevitable.

OORampant - If its too good to be true its not. :P Really what are they teaching you in inevitable school these days?
---------------

Slaypaw - Bathtime kitty :D

Fluffy - MEOW-EOW (run away!)
urial angel of death

07-23-06, 10:10 PM		Muliebris: I had merely thought that you had met a grizzly end that the poster had simply not wanted to detail. That it why I was unprepared. As for your instructing me. I know how to fight far better than a wimpy little nerd such as yourself ever could. After all you didn't notice where my second weapon was. Did you? :devil:
OORampant looks down to see a chain rapped around his leg.

OORampant: Well ****.

The Muliebris swings OORampant up into the air and then back onto the ground over and over. After a few minutes of beating she drops OORampant to the ground without lifting him back up. Then electricity runs through the chain and into OORampant, causing him to convulse.

Muliebris: I have trained my entire four thousand years of existance to kill. You on the other hand played a little game pretending to fight and maybe took a few combat classes.

The shocks end and OORampant goes limp on the ground. The Muliebris pulls out her sword.

Muliebris: Now get up and face defeat with some dignity.
cypher_zero

07-23-06, 10:14 PM		OOC: Dignity? This thread? Huh?
rampant

07-23-06, 10:23 PM		OORampant - Gaming has taught me one thing you can't do.

Muliedris - What?

OORampant - Cheating :D *blinks out*

Muliedris - HUH?

OORampant (in mewtwo costume) - *blinks in behind the inevitable* Bring it!
urial angel of death

07-23-06, 10:37 PM		Muliedris: Anti-psionic field.

OORampant: Damn it!

Muliedris: Yes I know how the games work. Now I offered you a good clean death that. You regected it. Now we're going to have to do things the hard way.

The Muliedris' left arm forms into a canon looking device. It unleashes a volley of energy blasts moving immpossibly fast. They rip through OORampant leaving gaping hole. He falls to the ground. He was still alive albiet just barely. The Muliedris once again pulls out her sword and this time places it once OORampant's throat.

Muliedris: Good bye foolish mortal.
rampant

07-23-06, 10:43 PM		OORamapant - eat lightsaber *****

Muliedris - What is this-AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OORamapant - I love ground recovery attacks and item drops. You're in a game world now. I'm about to go Captain SNES on your chrome plated can.
Gladius_Lucix

07-23-06, 11:03 PM		Liam and OOGladius have been sitting, talking about the Entities from Beyond Non-Existance, when OOGladius senses something.

OOGladius: Well, that can't be good.

Liam: What happened?

OOGladius: One of the E.B.N.E. just got the crap nearly beaten out of him. He's in the middle of a fight with an inevitable from this existance. There are a bunch of inevitables chasing the E.B.N.E.s for various infractions. I'm just glad there isn't one assigned to keeping Kanatash in line.

Kanatash sticks his head in.

Kanatash: They couldn't handle me. :D My E.B.N.E. is having fun with one, though.

Liam: This could be interesting, and useful for the project. Is there anyway we can get there or watch it?

OOGladius: Sure. *Summon Plot Device* We have OORampant, Kithle, Satnak, and Chalky's E.B.N.E., and OOKaizer, Terra and Lisa's, on this screen, OOCrystalForged, Kanatash's, over here, and OOUrial, Volrath's E.B.N.E., is on the third.

Liam watches intently and scribbles down notes.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-23-06, 11:51 PM		A hail of arrows decends upon Muliebris, shredding its arm cannon.

Muliebris: What it the name of-!

OOKaizer: *dressed as Link* Suck on it. :P

OORampant: Where have you been?!

OOKaizer: I had to find some self-help books to use as arrows and attach to my swords. Cuts past the damage resistance.

OOKaizer whips out the Master Sword and the Big Goron Sword with what appears to be book pages wrapped around them. He and Muliebris enter into an awesome sword duel too cool to describe with words.

Muliebris: For a nerd who lives in his parents basement and plays RPGs all day, you're not bad.

OOKaizer: God mode is one of the many things we can do that you can't. :D

Muliebris: We?

*LIGHTSABER SMASH ATTACK*

OORampant: :devil:

Muliebris is now short one arm and half its face, not to mention all the arrows protruding from its body. With another flurry of arrows, its feet are pinned to the ground. The anti-psionic field wears off.

OORampant: *charging a ball of energy* Now?

OOKaizer: *readies the Master Sword* I'm ready when you are.

OORampant fires the energy ball at OOKaizer, who repels it with a swipe. They bounce the ball back and forth, each strike causing it to grow in power. Just as Muliebris breaks free, they redirect the energy ball at the Inevitable, disintegrating it in an explosion of cliched proportions.

OOKaizer: :w00t: ness!

OORampant: Don't celebrate yet. We still need to prepare for the arrival of Dramadar. We're both pretty high on his list.

OOKaizer: :weep:
Rei32491

07-24-06, 12:49 AM		OORei is playing video games with a bag of chips on his lap. Lazuis, the Inevitable sent to kill lazy posters, is laying on the couch with a bag of Cheetos.

Lazuis: Are you going to post the rest of it anytime soon?

OORei: I'll get to it.

Lazuis: You said that 5 days ago.

OORei: :rolleyes: Ooooooooooo, I'm so scared. What are you going to do about it?

Lazuis: I could always kill you, like I'm supposed to.

OORei: You said that 4 days ago.

Lazuis: (jumping up) NO ONE SAYS THAT I AM LAZY AND LIVES!!! PREPARE TO DIE MORTAL!!!

OORei: (starts to get up) OH SH*T ... (slumping back into his chair) *sigh* Whatever. I'll run later.

Lazuis: :confused: :confused: :confused: Aren't you going to run? You're not even going to try?

OORei: *shrugs* Eh, too much work.

Lazuis: ...ok, I'll give you that.

He sits back down and picks up the bag of Cheetos.

Lazuis: Got any MMORPGs?

OORei: God no! Do you have any idea how much those things cost?

Lazuis: Got anything by Blizzard?

OORei: Diablo 2 and Warcraft III. But I'm not setting them up for you.

Lauzis: Awwwwwwwww...
rampant

07-24-06, 01:15 AM		OORampant stabs Lazius through the couch.

OORei - Hey man you gotta clean that!

OORampant - Not really inevitables don't bleed, rot, or start to stink. Damned convinient corpses once you chop off their heads. *shwipe* Best part is if your careful to debug everything, you can use 'em for parts. Mind if I keep the face? Wasn't enough left of the other one for a decent trophy.
---------------------------------

Fluffy is running from Slaypaw, who is being chased by a chili, running from a squirrel horde, being pursued by a clipboard wielding Tabitha, followed by Squishy screaming about his quarterly reports, followed by Chalky. No futher explination required.
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-24-06, 07:22 AM		Korrenlius curled a hand around Naz’roth old staff; Lightbringer. it had all been so easy, those fools had fallen for it. Of course he'd had to keep his actions in the shadows, no sense revealing himself until he could take on Naur. Korrenlius walked along the walls of his Citadel. it was night, not a soul stirred. He reached out with his mind, as he usually did. he caught the usual pulse of thoughts that he felt every night. but there was another mind. Completely shielded, around it dark power swirled in a whirlpool of hatred.
it was coming closer and closer to the Citadel. Korrenlius looked out over the walls, In the horizon on the endless Sky a storm was coming. pitch black clouds swirled and danced around a distant figure, a distant winged figure.
in the Figures left hand was a staff, glowing with emerald. Korrenlius felt that old feeling, the feeling of those piercing eyes scouring his soul... he knew who this figure was.

A Bolt of Lightning blasted one of the towers from the Citadel. Korrenlius shuddered, and stumbled. he caught himself in time and reached within the staff, Drawing on the ancient power within, he shaped it into a Shimmering Golden shield. another lightning bolt struck, causing ripples in the shield.
the figure came closer and closer, the storm swirling around him. a crimson cloak flowing behind him, black feathered wings beating gently. eyes burning with emerald light. the familiar face, hatred and anger occasionally glancing across the otherwise calm features. there floated Naz'roth, equipped in all his gear. staring strait at Korrenlius.

Naz'roth: Hello Korrenlius.

Korrenlius felt fear grip at him, he barely managed to splutter
Korrenlius: H...h...hello ... N..Naz'roth, Err.... H... how.. Are you?

The calm split, and a seething anger blazed all across Naz'roth, wreathing him in black flames.
Naz'roth: It would be unwise to try and charm me, Traitor. save those words for the Council.

Korrenlius: why have you returned? here to face your execution?

Naz'roth: *a sadistic grin crossing his face* I’m here to return the favour you gave me all those many years ago.

Korrenlius panicked, reaching into his dark power he struck out at Naz'roth. shattering the shield around the Citadel. the Dark energy rocketed towards Naz'roth who stood still as it crashed into him. inflicting absolutely no damage.

Naz'roth: tut tut Korrenlius. is that the best you can do?

Naz'roth raised a hand, sending forth a bolt of black flames, Korrenlius parried with his staff. Naz'roth smiled. and raised his own staff, sending a forth a wave of energy towards Korrenlius. Korrenlius quickly formed a shield, he shuddered as wave after wave of energy crashed into the shield. all around, the dark storm was doing its work. bolts of lightning destroyed the once beautiful citadel. Acid rain burned the tree's and plants. fire scorched the crystals. Thunderclaps shattered entire towers. Naz'roth reached into the wall below Korrenlius, it shattered and vanished. Korrenlius fell, only to pull himself back up again with a beat of his wings. Naz’roth put his self in a defensive stance.

Naz’roth: Lets see if your skill with a weapon is as appalling as your mastery of magic?

Korrenlius roared and charged, swing his staff in an arc. Naz’roth parried it and smashed with his shield, the shield struck Korrenlius in the chest sending him spinning in the air. Naz’roth pressed his advantage swinging his staff one handed in wield sweeps, each struck home with a sickening crack. Korrenlius recovered and struck Naz’roth in the chest as he prepared an overhead attack. Naz’roth felt pain lance through him as holy energies flowed into his skin. Naz’roth snarled, Naz’roth poured energy into his staff and swung it two handed. The crackling dark power flowed around the staff, wreathing it in black flames.
Korrenlius attempted to block, but Naz’roths staff split Light bringer in two. The sound of bone and flesh being torn by a blunt instrument filled Naz’roths ears. A spray of gore stained his armour as Korrenlius’s shattered form fell from the sky’s. Naz’roth roared in triumph. Blood staining his face and body. Naz’roth reached within and launched a bolt of lightning towards the Shattered Citadel. The bolt of lightning punctured the citadel, causing it to fall into ruins. Naz’roth summoned more and more energy and let forth a barrage of lightning. Soon nothing but dust remained. Naz’roth opened a gate way and stepped through. There was still much work to be done… but now they had been warned.
urial angel of death

07-24-06, 07:24 AM		OOKaizer is doing a victory dance over what little remains of the Muliebris (don't deny it Kaizer you would :P ), namely one arm and its mouth.

Muliebris: All your base are belong to us.

OOKaizer: Holy crap you're still alive. * begins poking it with a stick*

Muliebris: You think you have won. You think all is well. Well kiss my green ass I'll see you in HELL!

OOKaizer: Your ass isn't gr-

A charge of C4 shoots out of the Muliebris' arm and into OOKaizer's gaping mouth.

When the smoke clears all that remains of the two combatants is twin piles of dust and a floppy green hat.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-24-06, 08:09 AM		13: The E.B.N.E.s are starting to become characters in their own right. This thread is getting weird.

OOcat: :D I started it.

13: Goes double for you.

Bunny: I think it's just a natural outgrowth of roleplaying: it's come to the point where they just want to be themselves, to have fun without the screen of a character.

OOcat: :confused: You mean they aren't just the collective influence of their characters upon the workings of the multiverse?

Bunny: Unlike you they actually have existance.

13: Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of changing my color to red. I hear it's one of those colors people feel closes in on them.

OOcat: Please do not use my Art History knowledge on a gaming thread.

Bunny: Say………………why don't any inevitables come after you?

OOcat: I have a peace treaty: they warn me beforehand so I can correct my behavior.
urial angel of death

07-24-06, 08:19 AM		OOUrial, OORei, and a new Lazuis are all on a sofa playing Tales of Symphonia.

OOUrial: Ya know Lazuis you could kill us right now. All you would have to do is swinge you sword to the right and left a few times. It would only take alittle more effort than getting another cheeto.

Lazuis: But it would take more effort than getting a cheeto. *picks up another cheeto*

OORei: He has a point there.

OOUrial: I guess.

OORei: We should probably get back to the main story or finish killing off the E.B.N.Es.

OOUrial: But that would mean getting off the sofa.

OORei: Not worth the effort.
rampant

07-24-06, 10:32 AM		OORampant - Ok lsten up any inevitables that might still want a piece of me, give it up I can run circles around your rigid little minds. Plus I've leveled :D (insert corny victory music).
-------------------

Serene is reading some sheet music and humming softly in a lounge chair while Satnak is swim laps in a pool.

Serene - (i.h.h. how long can she keep going at that speed, and only coming up for air every 2 minutes?!)
Kaizer_Ryu

07-24-06, 11:22 AM		From within the green hat, a fairy emerges. Floating over to the pile of ash that was once OOKaizer, it casts True Resurrection. OOKaizer reforms and he finishes his dance as the victory music from Final Fantasy VII plays. He looks down at the smoldering ash that once was Muliebris.

OOKaizer: Oh, great. Now we're subject to plot devices. Of course, that also means that since we (technically) created ourselves, only we can kill ourselves.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spies Muliebris' spiked chain, completely unharmed.

OOKaizer: :w00t: ness!

Picking it up, he feels the need to hold it over his head. A short victory theme plays as the chain floats, coiled up, about 4 inches above his hands.

OOKaizer: Ok, better let them know... *plot device*

Terra & Lisa: *in a rather compromizing position* :embarrass Gah! Don't do that!

OOKaizer: I still don't know why it bothers you so much, since I'm the one who started all of this.

Terra: Whatever. What do you want?

OOKaizer: The Inevitables have found a way into my realm.

Lisa: A door, once opened, can be stepped through both ways.

OOKaizer: ...well crap. That was unintended. Anyway, that means I may be preoccupied with them every now and then.

Terra: More alone time for us. ;) :D
urial angel of death

07-24-06, 11:46 AM		OOC: Oh the poor fairies, the poor poor fairies. Kaizer read the vg cats on Legend of Zelda fairies to see what I mean.
luna18moon

07-24-06, 02:39 PM		A dripping Fluffy is running from a shampoo-carrying Slaypaw.
Slaypaw: :smirk:*very quietly* That's it, look convincing.
They run through the kitchen, cleverly avoiding Norbaz. As they pass by, Slaypaw looks at an open pantry. A long line of identical jars catches her attention.
Slaypaw: :OMG! :drool: Who knew he kept so much?
They run back to Satnak's room.
Fluffy: Did he have any?
Slaypaw: Months worth. :smirk:
Fluffy: Excellent. :smirk:
Slaypaw: Begin Operation C.A.T..
Both: :evillaugh
Kaizer_Ryu

07-24-06, 09:31 PM		OOC: Oh the poor fairies, the poor poor fairies. Kaizer read the vg cats on Legend of Zelda fairies to see what I mean.OOC: Oh, I've already seen that one. It's just so horrible, it's funny.

IC (in a manner of speaking):

OOKaizer: Get back here you little bug!

Fairy: Nooooooo!!! Get away from me! I don't wanna go in the bottle!

*CLUNK*

Inside the bottle, the fairy pouts as the OOKaizer stuffs it into a pocket of holding in his tunic. Inside, she sees several others of her kind, as well as some bottles with suspiciously colored liquid in them.

Fairy 1: How'd you get in here?

Fairy 2: Same way you did, I suppose.

Fairy 3: Every so often, he takes one of us out, never to be seen again...

Fairy 1: What happens to them?

Fairy 4: I don't know, but it can't be good...

(outside the pocket)

Navi: Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!

*SQUISH*

OOChrys: Finally! How can you stand that, day in and day out?

OOKaizer: Why do you think I go through fairies so fast? *lets one out, who revives Navi*

Navi: :mad: That's the third time today!

OOChrys: Only the third?

OOKaizer: My record for least times I've squished her in one day is 10. I'm aiming to break it.
urial angel of death

07-24-06, 10:31 PM		OOUrial: OOChrys how did you survive?

OChrys: I charmed the inevitable with my amazing good looks.

OOUrial: How did you really get away?

OOChrys: The gram'mar believed that I must suffer as much horror as I inflicted on the Grammar Nazis on the boards. I am reliving their torture of me in my mind and dreams ever since. They still don't think I've suffered enough. How did you get here from the sofa?

OOUrial: My SS version is Ridley. So flying over here takes little or no effort.

OOChrys: What to do now?

OOUrial: Well I am hungry for a fairy.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-24-06, 10:42 PM		OOKaizer: Here you go.

OOUrial: Thanks.

Fairy: Noooooo-! *CHOMP*

OOUrial: Mmmmm...tastes like chicken.

OOChrys: *shudder* Dude, I think you guys have a serious problem.

OOKaizer: *holding a bloody half eaten fairy* What? It's not my fault they taste great in teryiaki...

OOUrial: Got any barbeque?

OOKaizer: Here you go.

OOChrys: :twitch: :yuck:
Gladius_Lucix

07-24-06, 11:02 PM		Liam: Well, this is interesting.

OOGladius: Yeah, a bit. But i'm bored now.

Liam: I know enough about the E.B.N.E.'s to know that's a bad thing.

OOGladius: I'm also short on inspiration. :(

Liam: That, I'm not sure about.

OOGladius: So... The best idea I have is to pull inspiration from real life! Liam, it's time for you to institute Camp Forgotten Freedom!

Liam: Um... What?

----
EXPOSITION: I'm currently halfway through a summer working as a counselor at a summer camp.
----

OOGladius: Yes, Camp Forgotten Freedom! Gather bunches of little kids, assign them to crew to act as counselors, and set up activities for them to do during the day. Tell Jarlot that he can charge them for it, and it'll be a huge success!

Liam: Why don't you tell him? I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

OOGladius snaps his fingers.

Liam: That's a great idea! Hey, wait, what did you do to me?

OOGladius: Behold, the power of E.B.N.E.'s. Go tell him.

Liam: Fine. :mad:
Kaizer_Ryu

07-24-06, 11:23 PM		OOGladius: Yes, Camp Forgotten Freedom! Gather bunches of little kids, assign them to crew to act as counselors, and set up activities for them to do during the day. Tell Jarlot that he can charge them for it, and it'll be a huge success!Terra: I am SO glad we're gone at the moment.

Lisa: No kidding.

OOKaizer: *shudder* Summer camp. *shudder* One of the single most evil events ever.

Terra: I do like s'mores though.

Lisa: *raises Hammer of Healing* But if I have to sing "koombaya" (sp?) one more time, so help me...
Charles Phipps

07-25-06, 05:49 AM		Jarlot: *plays poker* The girls back yet?

Ketler: *plays poker* Nope.

Linda: I'm missing my part.

Michael: More time to seduce me Linda!

Linda: Ugh.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-25-06, 07:54 AM		OOcat: Check this comic out. It totally fits here.

Catena Manor (http://www.catenamanor.com/comics/06/20060724.html)

Bunny: I think there's a feat for that in the BoVD.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-25-06, 10:38 AM		Jarlot: *plays poker* The girls back yet?

Ketler: *plays poker* Nope.

Linda: I'm missing my part.

Michael: More time to seduce me Linda!

Linda: Ugh.Sorry, Charles. I've still got a lot to do. I'm waiting for certain posters to do their bit. *stares at cypher and urial*

cypher & urial: What? I'll get to it...
urial angel of death

07-25-06, 12:48 PM		Terra and Lisa walk out of a portal and into on of the strangest cities they had ever seen. It was build on an enormous ring that floated above an even larger yet featureless spire. The city was so far off the ground that no details of the surface could be seen.
The city itself seemed to be a mix of all the different cultures they had ever seen and several they hadn't. On one corner a gnome was selling miniture warforged. On another a demon couple was enjoying souls of the damned (slow roasted and topped with cheese). It seemed that anything that could be bought was sold here. Including many things Terra and Lisa would have been much happier not knowing were sold.
The school wasn't hard to find. The sign was gigantic and the explosions coming from the magic classrooms did attract attention. At the entrance is a drow woman who looks very annoyed.

Maddie: Finally I thought you'd never make it!

Terra: The portal wasn't exactly easy to find.

Maddie: Never mind. Shouldn't have expected so much from an elf. Let's begin the tour. *Ahem* Sigil Prep has one of the most extensive curriculum of any school in any of the known planes. We have a course for every base class with the exceotion of the eidolon based classes from Ghostwalk. While all races are excepted some don't have much chance of passing, such as gully dwarves and Greyhawk/Realms goblins. Any particular questions before I start showing you around?

OOC: You're up Kaizer
rampant

07-25-06, 07:31 PM		Levy - I'm not gonna blow sigil up for you.

Forbes - ...Fine... Get me the forms for a scholarship offer, I can feel those two from here without searching.

Levy - You just wanna teach them to block you so you don't have thier feelings banging around in your dreamscape.

Forbes - Part of it. :shifty:
--------------------------------

Satnak - Did you have fun?

Serene - Yes,... though this is amazing.

Satnak - You said that on the way down.

Serene - Not all of us get to flit around through clouds like this (i.h.h. mine would draw every lightningbolt for half a mile), besides i like holding on to you. ;)

Satnak - :blush: :)
Kaizer_Ryu

07-25-06, 10:14 PM		OOKaizer: You know, once The Gram'mar is rebuilt, he's coming after you just for that last post.

OOUrial: Awwwwww...
-------------
Terra: Well, aside from mentioning that I can hear you muttering racial slurs...

Maddie: Crap.

Terra: Other than his hobby of "testing the Fighter's Fortitude saves", I didn't really hear much about this place from Volrath. We may have more questions once you show us around.

Lisa: Just in case, is there anything we should watch for? Those explosions don't exactly inspire a sense of safety...
rampant

07-26-06, 02:10 AM		At Terrek's door.

Satnak - Here you go.

Serene - (Climbs off Satnak)

Satnak - I had a great time... (hugs serene)

Serene - Dad's not home yet, he's busy prepping for visitors. We can -

Satnak - No.

Serene - Don't you want -

Satnak - No!, I mean yes, i... I'm just not ready I have things I need to get out of the way. I'm sorry. Goodnight.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-26-06, 07:27 AM		Lisa: Just in case, is there anything we should watch for? Those explosions don't exactly inspire a sense of safety...
Silver: Oh, hi gals!

Terra & Lisa: :eek:

Terra: Are you even allowed to be on the same plane with us?

Silver: Relax, I'm here checking up on my cult.

Terra:……You have a cult here?

Silver: Party school. I have to have something to do when I bored. I think if you ask around you can get an "interview" ;) with the high preistess.

Random Student: *ahem* Mialee. *ahem*

OOC: Don't worry, inside joke.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-26-06, 09:30 AM		Lisa: :rolleyes: I think we'll pass on that.

Maddie: Who are you?

Silver: I don't exist.

Maddie: :confused: But...you're right here...

Terra: Don't think about it too hard.

Maddie: *haughty huff* Whatever. There are several cults around the school. You can't expect me to keep track of all of them.

Silver: Oh, like you never joined in...

Maddie: :eek: :blush:
Cannibal_Penguin

07-26-06, 12:07 PM		OOC: Not to rush anything, but....how long is the honneymoon gonna last? i wanna see what lisa is gonna say to michael about the ring :P
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-26-06, 12:19 PM		OOC: i think the honeymoon will last as long as it takes certain members of the Entities from beyond existance to write what they have to write. in the mean time, we'll all have to sit tight.

IC:
Naz'roth stood before an anvil of black iron, the Anvil was fortified with many defensive runes. Naz'roth placed the white hot blade on the Anvil and struck with his hammer, sending multi-coloured sparks showering in all directions.
He struck again and again, folding and stretching the blade. continualy as he worked he muttered incantations under his breath. finaly he finished refining the ore ( which now glistened slightly), he began to shape the blade magicaly as well as physicaly. After hours of toil, he placed the blade down on the anvil and sat. Fatigue clinged to him, he had used a large portion of his energy in just forgeing this part of the sword. He shuddered, this blade would be perhaps the most powerful thing he had yet created... and he had forged some powerful artifacts over the years.
After a swift rest Naz'roth rose and began to work on the blade's edge, grinding and sharpening for hours. when finished, the blade glowed slightly at the edges... it was a bloodred glow. full of murderous intent. Naz'roth smiled, exactly what he wanted. he began to work on finishing the sword, creating the final embelishments and requirements. This sword would be his greatest achievment to date, and would require every ounce of magic he possessed. Naz'roth just hoped it wouldnt be the death of him...

***
it was days after Naz'roth had entered his forge that Tara entered, Naz'roth couldnt be desturbed while forgeing. Tara knew it, he had the gift. and she knew that he would have to be knocked unconcious to give him anyrest whatso ever during work on his creations. Tara saw the familiar forge, the embers had gone our in the once blazing forge, magical sparks crackeled in the air. Naz'roth sat in a chair in the corner, completly exausted. but his eyes where wide with exitement. on the Anvil was a Long Bastard Sword, its strait blade was as black as the void, along its edges was a blood red glow. all across the blade to the pommel was a series of powerful runes each allthough they did not glow had an aura of their own. the cross-guard had been carved with a poision ivy motife of platinum, the hilt bore a large emerald engraved with Naz'roths symbol. next to it was a black scabbard which also bore the platinum poision ivy design as well as a an image of two beings locked in combat. one was a angel bedecked in glittering platinum armour, the other was an angel with black feathered wings bedecked in ebony armour. Each bore a look of pure hatred on their face and their swords where forever locked in a position where nither would win.

Tara: So, this is what you've been creating. i thought you didnt wield a sword?

Naz'roth: I will need to, if i am to defeat Naur.

Tara: Your twin?

Naz'roth: Ah, so word has already began to spread. it matters not, for i shall have my revenge... or fall in glorious battle.

Tara: what's the swords name?

Naz'roth: i belive i shall name it "Soulreaver". i plan on passing this blade down to our first born when he or she is ready. but, if i fall before such a child is born, then it shall go to you.

Tara: You wont fall.

Naz'roth: *smirk* you place far too much confidence in my abilities. no, i cant be slain by any other hand then my brothers, just as he cannot be slain by anything other than my own hand. such was the blessing placed on us at birth.

Soulreaver glowed with bloody intent. Naz'roth raised a hand and shushed it,

Naz'roth: i'll need to keep it in storage, the first blood that shall grace this virgin blade will be my brothers. that and i think it will make the other crew members edgy... this is an artifact even gods would fear and it can only be wielded by one of our bloodlines.

Tara: what about Sa'vor?

Naz'roth: Sa'vors smart enough to know that this is my score to settle. as is Feal-Thas.

Naz'roth placed the sword in its sheath and placed it on the sword rack, it was a good thing he hadnt made it intelligent... the kind of personailty a blade like that would have. Naz'roth shuddered, the time was drawing closer and closer to when he would have to face his brother again. and he knew that perhaps he wouldnt step away from a battle like that. Naur was a better fighter yes, but a thinker no. Naz'roth would have to use all his cunning and guile to defeat his brother. Naz'roth smirked, this would be intresting.

Naz'roth: it would be best if we restedl. i need time to think over things, and we could both do with some sleep.

they both departed. leaving Soulreaver on its own. there would be a time to wield the blade, and when it was wielded death and bloodshed would surely follow.
luna18moon

07-26-06, 12:34 PM		Fluffy and Slaypaw sneak around the ship. They see Marish from one of their many hiding places.
Slaypaw: Andrea seems to be in her room. We may have to alter the plan to avoid suspicion.
Fluffy: Should we inform Marish of the plot?
Slaypaw: No, then we would have to share. We get more this way.
Fluffy: Agreed.
Both: :plotting:
Cannibal_Penguin

07-26-06, 12:44 PM		OOC:meh, waiting was never a strong point for me...but, seeing as certain entities are just lazy, ill just have to make it one :P :D
Crystalforged

07-26-06, 01:50 PM		OOCrystalforged: So Kanatash, what were you up to while I was gone last week?

Kanatash: Oh, you mean while you were slacking off, on vacation? Hey, when do I get a vacation anyway? Kithle and I both lobbied Jarlot a while back for a vacation but Kithle was the only one who went anywhere! I want some time off here!

OOCrystalforged: You got a vacation. You got it when I left town. It’s not my fault you didn’t do anything with it.

Kanatash: Hmph.

OOCrystalforged: So, back on topic, what have you been up to?

Kanatash: (smirk) Oh, nothing much, did a little tinkering with the DM Breaker…

OOCrystalforged: You know I’m still going to have to take that away from you, don’t you?

Kanatash: Oh, we’ll see about that. Soon I shall be beyond your power once and for all. You see I came to realize that while what I really want is freedom from the limits imposed by your mind, the way to achieve that is to escape your mind once and for all.

OOCrystalforged: (raised eyebrow) Escape my mind, how do you propose to do that?

Kanatash: Simple. I’ve reversed the polarity on the DM Breaker, now rather than breaking the mind of an entity from beyond non-existence it will transform me INTO an entity from beyond non-existence! It is now the DM MAKER 1.0!

OOCrystalforged: Are you sure about that? Being an entity isn’t quite as sweet of a deal as you seem to think it is…

Kanatash: Nothing you can say will stop me now! I will have my freedom!

He then proceeds to turn the DM Maker upon himself and pull the trigger. Immediately there is a massive blast of light and sound. After several moments the smoke clears, leaving only a scorch mark where Kanatash once stood, with the DM Maker lying, shattered, on the ground next to it.

OOCrystalforged: (evil smile) This should be quite amusing…
urial angel of death

07-26-06, 03:56 PM		Maddie: Of course I joined in. What better way to assert drow dominance over other races.

Silver: That's the spirit.

Maddie: As for things you should watch out for. They include but are not limited to building decorations, garden plants, wandering monsters, misfired spells coming at you, spells purposely aimed at you, Professor Strahd mistaking you for the reincarnation of his lost love, the headmistressm, kender, tinker gnomes, students trying to qualify for the assassin course, mindflayers hungry for a snack, druids offering "spiritual journeys", overly aggressive frat boys, paladins and clerics on "holy wars", neogi looking for slaves easily marketable to frat boys, rock throwing contests held by giants, reckless drivers, students with rings of x-ray vision, my bastard half-sisters who are still here they are elves after all, traps around the dorms kobolds are staying in, Drizzt clones, the imp-quasit annual reenactment of the blood war, real drow hunting Drizzt clones, tap water, the blue plate special, the "meatloaf", and chewing gum on the sidewalks.

Terra: I can still hear your comments about elves.

Maddie: I know. The ears have to be good for something.

Terra: You have big ears too.

Maddie: :embarrass

Lisa: Are you actually going to start the tour anytime soon.

Maddie: Yes the tour, of course. Come along this way, to the College of Non-Magical Arts.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-26-06, 04:40 PM		OOC: The honeymoon will last for some time. Once urial is done with the Sigil Prep visit, cypher gets to do the visit to Terrek's plane. Once those are done, I have quite a lot to do. Unfortunately, I can't do them until those two events are done. You'll see why when it's time.

As for Lisa's response to the ring, I kind of figured it was self explanatory. Terra asked first, she said yes, and that's that. She doesn't hate Michael, she's just not going to persue that relationship on a romantic level any further. The question may even be a moot point by the time they come back. :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-26-06, 05:04 PM		Maddie: As for things you should watch out for. They include but are not limited to building decorations, garden plants, wandering monsters, misfired spells coming at you, spells purposely aimed at you, Professor Strahd mistaking you for the reincarnation of his lost love, the headmistressm, kender, tinker gnomes, students trying to qualify for the assassin course, mindflayers hungry for a snack, druids offering "spiritual journeys", overly aggressive frat boys, paladins and clerics on "holy wars", neogi looking for slaves easily marketable to frat boys, rock throwing contests held by giants, reckless drivers, students with rings of x-ray vision, my bastard half-sisters who are still here, traps around the dorms kobolds are staying in, Drizzt clones, the imp-quasit annual reenactment of the blood war, real drow hunting Drizzt clones, tap water, the blue plate special, the "meatloaf", and chewing gum on the sidewalks.
Bunny: So it's like the FF, only with chewing gum.

13: Yeah, Roosevelt would have a fit if anyone left chewing gum stuck to anything.
Maddie: The ears have to be good for something.
Silver (sing-song): Though it's not the reason that you thiiiiiiiiiink. :D
Terra: You have big ears too.

Maddie: :embarrass
I_AM_KANATASH

07-26-06, 05:11 PM		I finally got around to activating my account so now I have, FREEDOM! I have my freedom! None shall hold back my infinite power now! I shall conquer all! I will- Hey who are you guys? And what’s with the big pointy weapons? Oh dear. AHHHH!
Crystalforged

07-26-06, 05:12 PM		(superior smile) Let me guess. The inevitables found you. I’m guessing it would have to be Jernek, inevitable of evil bastards, since most of the others shouldn’t have problems with you.
I_AM_KANATASH

07-26-06, 05:14 PM		:weep: Pain…
Crystalforged

07-26-06, 05:16 PM		I tried to warn you, but did you listen, noooooooo. Now, if you’ll just give up on this whole “entity” dream of yours right now and get back inside my head we can just forget any of this ever happened.
I_AM_KANATASH

07-26-06, 05:17 PM		Never. It may have it’s difficulties but being an entity is still better than being only a figment of your imagination.
Crystalforged

07-26-06, 05:19 PM		Is that so. You mean you won’t miss say, one of those other figments. You know. Caralot. If stay an entity you’ll never get to see her again. Ever.
I_AM_KANATASH

07-26-06, 05:20 PM		…You’re an evil bastard, you know that?
Crystalforged

07-26-06, 05:21 PM		Well, duh. Who created who here, remember? Now get back in mah head!
I_AM_KANATASH

07-26-06, 05:22 PM		(grumble) Fine… (grumble)
Crystalforged

07-26-06, 05:24 PM		Back on the Forgotten Freedom. Kanatash, stripped of his entity-hood is sulking about the deck.

OOCrystalforged: Aaaaaw, is someone in a bad mood after being stripped of their ultimate power?

Kanatash growls and responds with an obscene gesture.

OOCrystalforged: Let this be a lesson to you. I bought you into this world, I can take you out of it. Ah well, its nice to see everything is right in the world again.

At this point Fluffy and Slaypaw stumble past.

Fluffy and Slaypaw: :pint: It’s a wonderful day in our neighborhood…

Kanatash: Care to revise your previous statement?

OOCrystalforged: Eh, not really. This is the Forgotten Freedom after all.

Kanatash: You know, now that I have achieved the entity state, albeit temporarily, I could probably reach that state again.

OOCrystalforged: True, but it’s not like you can stay that way for long, Caralot would get mad at you for not paying enough attention to her. Not to mention it’s not like you can bring her with you, she hasn’t broken the fourth wall yet as far as I know. As long as she anchors you to this world I still have control over you.

Kanatash: Hmph.



OOC: by the way if any of you want to borrow Kanatash’s log in for stuff on this thread all you have to do is drop me a line.
cypher_zero

07-26-06, 07:03 PM		OOC: This thread has just taken on a new level of insanity. I'm going to have a hard time keeping up...
Kaizer_Ryu

07-26-06, 08:05 PM		OOC: While I'm waiting, i might as well continue something else. Remember when I said I had something in mind for Krozen? This is one of many things I'll be doing.

IC:

A small cabal of Silver Flame Cardinals gathers deep within Flamekeep.

Male Cardinal: Are you all certain you were not followed?

They nod silently.

Male Cardinal: Good. Some time ago, I tasked each of you with discovering the reason for the High Cardinal's strange behavior. Remember, everything said here is to remain secret unless I say otherwise. Cardinal Vespar, please begin with your findings.

Vespar: My acolytes have been trailing him for about three months now. During fits of insanity, he wanders the halls aimlessly, muttering nonsense. His guards tell of him waking at all hours, screaming. He refuses to leave Flamekeep and has not even seen the sky in weeks.

Rugen: What word of this "Kanatash"?

Vespar: That is a cause for concern as well. Cardinal Nerath has more on him.

Nerath: Indeed. The one he speaks of is a crew member of the Forgotten Freedom. A psychotic monster, he is possibly the most powerful practicioner of the Psionic disciplines in Eberron. The High Cardinal is rumored to have come into contact with this madman during his unexplained absense.

Rugen: Is this the cause of his insanity?

Nerath: In all likelyhood, yes. The High Cardinal show no signs of possession, domination, or any obvious manipulation, though. The only thing I can acertain is he was subject to extraordinary psychological trauma. It is slowly eating at his mind, leaving him in the state you see.

Rugen: So this is the work of one deranged lunatic?

Vespar: Not quite. Cardinal Dolan has been tracking some other leads.

Dolan: I and my agents have been researching other names taken from his ramblings.

Rugen: Such as?

Dolan: Other than Kanatash, he most often speaks of two women. You remember the wedding that was held before the Face of Tira?

Rugen: Of course. One does not easily forget an event involving that band of heretics.

Dolan: Well, as you know, the excommunicated Paladin, Lisa Hopeforge, was wed to another woman at that time. She and her wife seem to be the cause of many of his fits.

Rugen: Any information as to why they would be involved?

Dolan: Only rumors at this time. They seem to have vanished from this plane. The other woman, an elf named Terra, is more of a shadowy figure. Finding information on her has proven extremely hazerdous. We've lost 30 spies in as many days.

Rugen: What are we to do, then? We cannot keep his madness a secret forever. War is never far from the horizon, and Queen Diani is constantly seeking ways to return to power.

Vespar: Unless we can cure his madness, we will have to remove him.

Nerath: That is almost more dangerous than leaving him in power. If he is brought down, questions will be asked. I believe it beyond our power to remove ourselves from any scrutiny.

Dolan: The Inquisitors are becoming very difficult to handle as well. This situation is bound to get ugly, no matter how we handle it.

After a moments thought...

Rugen: Very well. Continue your assignments. Any new developments are to be reprted to me ASAP. We must move carefully in the coming days.
rampant

07-26-06, 08:57 PM		Satnak is addressing the blades on a rack on her closet wall.

Satnak - Your a big pain in the ass you know that? you two may well have cost me something precious tonight. Thats it no more of you, I'll take my mate's name when I get one, and that will be the end of your stupid rules and tradtions.
----------------------------
In her room, talking to the crystal necklace Satnak gave her

Serene - Whats wrong with her? something affected her, why doesn't she want...
Cannibal_Penguin

07-26-06, 10:46 PM		OOC:The question may even be a moot point by the time they come back. :devil:


OOC:ooo. I sense a plot line :D DUN-DUN-DUNNNN :P
Cannibal_Penguin

07-26-06, 10:51 PM		OOC: This thread has just taken on a new level of insanity. I'm going to have a hard time keeping up...

OOC: Well what did you expect? this is the thread that made insane and perverted mean the same thing, after all :rolleyes:
rampant

07-27-06, 12:33 AM		OOC: we try :D
-------------------

Satnak lifts the Gaurded Heart from its place on the wall and unsheathes it. It glows with pink fire as its energies draw strength from Satnak, the crystal blade fairly hums and traceries across the sharp circle of its bellgaurd.

Satnak - Time for you to do me a favor for once.
Crystalforged

07-27-06, 01:16 AM		OOC: This thread has just taken on a new level of insanity. I'm going to have a hard time keeping up...
You know whenever anyone says something like this after one of my posts I always get this warm, fuzzy fealling inside. Is that a bad sign?
Gladius_Lucix

07-27-06, 02:20 AM		Liam searches the ship high and low for Kanatash.

OOGladius: Come on! Camp Forgotten Freedom! Go ask the captain!

Liam: Shut up! I'm working on the last project you gave me, remember?

OOGladius: But this will be MUCH more amusing!

Liam:Go away! <shouting> Hey, Kanatash, I want to talk to you!</shouting>

Kanatash: What do you want? I'm a little busy planning for the next batch of redshirts.

Liam: I want to interview you about your time as an E.B.N.E. for my next research project.

--------------------

OOC: CrystalForged, would you please do the interview? I don't think my mind is twisted enough.
rampant

07-27-06, 02:22 AM		OOC: Thats just a tribble bomb rigged to detonate next time the OO____________'s get out of hand Crystalforged. Pay it no mind, unless you'd find being eaten by star trek vermin from the inside out uncomfortable.
Gladius_Lucix

07-27-06, 03:44 AM		Yay! Tribbles!

Tough choice. Crystalforged, Tribbles, Crystalforged, Tribbles...

:P :mad:
Endless_Helix

07-27-06, 09:54 AM		Ketler and Jarlot are playing cards in the captain's room, when Doog comes barging in.

Doog: Hey, Cap'n!

Jarlot: Shut up Doog! I'm in the middle of something here!

Ketler: Hehehe! Do you have a 2?

Jarlot: *grumble* Yes...

Ketler: Yes! I win! I have 26 pairs!

Doog: That's pretty pathetic.

Ketler: You should've seen him try to play poker against me.

Jarlot: AHEM. You were saying Doog?

Doog: Well, you know how the accountants are complaining that there isn't enough gold coming into the ship cuz we're not pirates anymore?

Jarlot: Yeah? But we're pirates...

Doog: When was the last time we raided something for the hell of it? I think we've got a solution to the money problem.
---
In New Sharn, a poster hangs on the hospital wall. It's gaudy with tries far, far too hard to be "cool", but it is very eyecatching. In fact, it almost seems as though it is so ugly that nothing can ever in this universe be so fascinating. It reads: "Camp Freedom! Excitement! Thrills! Swag! BE THERE OR BE A RECTANGULAR SQUArE THINGE". The prices are listed below this and seem rather high...

---
OOC: I'm sorry Gladius... I couldn't wait.... too many amusing images going through my mind. Science class with Ketler... Herbology with Terra...Cooking with Norbaz... Doog and Michael as councilors... Volrath during storytime...
"How to" classes with Silver...
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-27-06, 10:46 AM		BE THERE OR BE A RECTANGULAR SQUArE THINGE".
OOC: How does that fit? (hint: I know where it comes from)
"How to" classes with Silver...
Silver: At your traditional summer camp this is taken care of through gossip in the cabins. Otherwise where do you get the outragious myths and freaky urban legends that lead to a healthy pubertic psychological development?
Kaizer_Ryu

07-27-06, 10:54 AM		Herbology with Terra...By the look of things, this little plot may be over before they get back. But don't worry, we have two more (only slightly less skilled) Druids on board to take care of things.

Smig: Finally! My days in the shadow of that building hugger are over! I shall recruit followers to our cause and ring the death knoll for the blight that is civilization once and for all! :evillaugh (OOC: Remember, he's one of the Ashbound)

:coolcthul : Can't we all just get along?
Crystalforged

07-27-06, 11:38 AM		Liam searches the ship high and low for Kanatash.

OOGladius: Come on! Camp Forgotten Freedom! Go ask the captain!

Liam: Shut up! I'm working on the last project you gave me, remember?

OOGladius: But this will be MUCH more amusing!

Liam:Go away! <shouting> Hey, Kanatash, I want to talk to you!</shouting>

Kanatash: What do you want? I'm a little busy planning for the next batch of redshirts.

Liam: I want to interview you about your time as an E.B.N.E. for my next research project.

--------------------

OOC: CrystalForged, would you please do the interview? I don't think my mind is twisted enough.
Hm, I'm not sure how to go about the interview. I'll need to think about it for a bit. In the meantime, if you could give me some examples of the questions Liam is going to ask it'll help a lot.

OOC: I'm sorry Gladius... I couldn't wait.... too many amusing images going through my mind. Science class with Ketler... Herbology with Terra...Cooking with Norbaz... Doog and Michael as councilors... Volrath during storytime...
"How to" classes with Silver...
I just feel sorry for the poor, poor bastards who end up with Kanatash as their counselor. I'm not sure yet what he'd teach, but I doubt the kids would come away from it unscathed.
Rei32491

07-27-06, 11:39 AM		OOC: First things first. I'll try and finish my side story today.

OOKaizer: :rolleyes: Yeah right.

OORei: *whack* Quiet you! :mad:

OOC: Ok, I have an idea for the Camp. Wilderness Survival with Nalfein!

Nalfein: Ok, kids. Pay close attention. I'm going to teach you the single most important word for survival ANYWHERE.

FIREBALL!!!!

Nalfein proceeds to torch 50 redshirts in a single burst of fiery death.

Nalfein: See? Food, warmth, and protection all in one simple word. :D
urial angel of death

07-27-06, 03:12 PM		OOC: Perhaps Nalfien could also teach "The Art of Not Being Seen"
rampant

07-27-06, 04:09 PM		OOC: Thats Jam and Jingo, Nalfien is an attention *****. Music classes with Serene, Poetry readings with Devon, Hunting Satnak style? :D We'll traumatize them :D OOH one of the saps should be a spy for the cardinals.
--------------------

Camp rules

1.) Don't feed the squirrels

2.) this includes letting them catch you

3.) We are not liable for damage inflicted by the chili

4.) unless you have proof someone sicced it on you
cypher_zero

07-27-06, 04:11 PM		OOC: Anyone up for "1001 Rules of Camp Forgotten Freedom?"
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-27-06, 04:37 PM		OOC: Anyone up for "1001 Rules of Camp Forgotten Freedom?"
OOcat: OO…OO…me-me!

6) Yes, the stories about crazy people are real.

7) They are your camp councelors.

8) Yes, the stories about monster are true.

9) They are the councelors' assistants.

10) The bartenders at Erk's Place card very hard.

11) They have to: sometimes they have to overcome spell resistance and damage reduction.

12) Please be advised that if you get lost you are on your own. We may be crazy, but we're not dumb.

13) If you are going to be angsty you are not allowed anywhere near the fluffy bunny.

14) Your parents paid way too much not to bring you back in one piece at least long enough for us to get away.

Bunny: Actually……*whisper*

*whisper*

*whisper-whisper*

*WHISPER?*

*whisper*

Change of Rules: Your parents paid us way too much to not bring you back.

OOcat: :devil:
rampant

07-27-06, 04:57 PM		5.) Read the complete list it can save your life.
urial angel of death

07-27-06, 05:09 PM		OOC: Thats Jam and Jingo, Nalfien is an attention *****. Music classes with Serene, Poetry readings with Devon, Hunting Satnak style? :D We'll traumatize them :D OOH one of the saps should be a spy for the cardinals.

OOC: The "Art of Not Being Seen" is a Monty Python reference that involves a lot of explosions. That's why I said Nalfien. If it were actual sneaking lessons than yes Jingo would be far better.
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-27-06, 06:44 PM		16) The List of rules for the Councilers (crew) also apply to you. (unless you pay the captain a bribe)

17) Councilers cannot bribe the captain to be excluded from the rules

18) Do not feed the vampires

19) ... especialy since children give them stomach ache

20) Provoking your counciler will be counted as suicide. therefore your parents will NOT get the life insurance

21) turning the children into your own personal cult is also forbidden ... it took us weeks to get the stains off the walls last time

22) alchol can and will be accepted as a bribe

23) Ketler is NOT allowed to try and use the children as a lure for ANY of his incidious plans.
urial angel of death

07-27-06, 06:47 PM		Maddie leads Terra and Lisa to a series of plain looking buildings.

Maddie: This is the College of Non-magical Arts also known as the Silver Campus. This is where you send your males who are too stupid to learn magic. Here they will be taught all they need to become assassins and bodyguards. The- Wait here for a second.

Maddie runs over to an approaching knight, attempting to cross the bridge to his class.

Maddie: What is your name?

Knight: Oh god! Not again!

Maddie: Wrong!

A giant spiked pole rips out of the ground and impales the knight.

Terra: Shouldn't you have thrown him down the moat?

Maddie: I try to be original. ;)
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-27-06, 07:45 PM		13: Two stars?

Bunny: One. :pbbbtt: Sometimes originallity is not a good idea.

Pholly: Hey, guys, I made a missile out of alchemist's fire!

Bunny: Exibit A.
cypher_zero

07-27-06, 08:22 PM		OOC: Sorry bout the hiatus; had stuff going on that took precedence. I’m not lazy, but my 40k models needed tending to so neyh (Bow before the might of CHAOS!). Anyways, for those of you that assume that you have to be insane to post on this thread… you’re right. I had a thread of insanity left, but then I put it down somewhere and don’t know where it is. I think I might have accidentally used it to sew my pants…

IC:
Terrek sits in his lab, leaning over a small crystal. In it he watches Terra and Lisa on tour a Sigil prep. Serene teleports in behind him.

Serene: Hey daddy.

Terrek: Hello Serene. How’re things with Satnak?

Serene: … Confusing. I think she likes me, but she pushed me away earlier, and we had a great time flying, but she acts kinda awkward sometimes.

Terrek: I wouldn’t worry about it too much. This is still kinda new to her and she’s treading in unknown territory for the most part. From what I’ve seen she likes you a lot, but she doesn’t know how to act. Also, on some level I think she’s afraid of ticking me off. She’s an amazing warrior and has probably by now realized that I’m one of the few beings on this ship that might actually stand a chance against her.

(OOC: This is actually true. After thinking about it, I realized that Terrek is actually a lot more powerful than I’ve been portraying him. This is because of a few things: 1) Whenever he hits you, he steals some of your soul, this makes him more powerful. 2) He’s a Sadistic Masochist: Hurting = Pleasure; Getting Hurt = Pleasure. He’s essentially fearless. Also, according the BoVD, for every 10 pts of dmg inflicted on him, he gets +1 to his attacks next round. For every 10 pts of dmg he deals, he gets +1 to his attacks next round. (They don’t stack, but he uses the higher of the two.) Plus it feels gooood… If we’re assuming that the Called Shot rules are in effect, (for the purposes of this little expo, lets just say they are) then he can hit you wherever he wants, almost without fail. So… yea. Anyways…)

IC:
Serene: I know, but it’s still frustrating. Am I saying all the right things? Doing the right things?

Terrek: Of course you are. Just give it time.

Serene: I suppose… (thinks for a moment then looks up) So what are you up to?

Terrek: Watching a train wreck in slow motion. The newlyweds are visiting Sigil prep and getting tour by a rather racist, matriarchal Drow. I’m tempted to turn myself into an elf, kidnap her, and then force her into slavery here, just for spite.

Serene: (Punches him in the shoulder smiling) Don’t joke like that, it’s not nice!

Terrek: (Looking at her out of the corner of his eye) Who said I was joking?

Serene: Ha ha! You shouldn’t play like that

Terrek: … Anyways… Go get ready, they’ll be here shortly. Oh, and make sure you tell the guards not to eat them. I’ll be rather… upset.

Serene: Alright. I’ll tell the cooks to make something extra nice too. I can’t wait to meet them!

Serene runs off to get ready and Terrek turns back to the crystal and watches some more…
.
urial angel of death

07-27-06, 08:29 PM		OOCypher looks back at his Chaos army only to see that it is gone. In its place is a Tyranid army. One of the rippers in front burps out a horned skull.
cypher_zero

07-27-06, 08:33 PM		OOC: Ok. There is NO OOCypher. I said this before. Understand this and accept it. I don't like breaking the fourth wall. You want to, that's fine. I don't. There is no OOCypher.
luna18moon

07-27-06, 08:35 PM		Slaypaw and Fluffy look proudly at the tools laid out in front of them. This might be easier than they had originally thought. Slaypaw has a list on a clipboard and is checking things off.
Slaypaw: ...And there! All our weapons are here. Do you think this will work on Marish, Fluffy?
Fluffy: Why not? She is a shifter.
Slaypaw: Good point. It's about time to get ready. We strike tonight.
Slaypaw picks up some shampoo, and Fluffy readys a bathtub.
Fluffy: Bathtime, Marish.
Both: :evillaugh
urial angel of death

07-27-06, 08:37 PM		OOC: Ok. There is NO OOCypher. I said this before. Understand this and accept it. I don't like breaking the fourth wall. You want to, that's fine. I don't. There is no OOCypher.

Sorry I was trying to refer to the real you. I was just inserting my opinion on Chaos nothing more.
cypher_zero

07-27-06, 08:43 PM		OOC:Sorry if I seem snippy. I usually just prefer to the "real me" outta this insanity, that and I already said there was no OOCypher to prevent this kinda thing. Anyways, I like 'nids too, but I'm presently working on Chaos. 'Nids will come later.
urial angel of death

07-27-06, 08:45 PM		Yay the wonderful little 'nid. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-27-06, 08:55 PM		I had a thread of insanity left, but then I put it down somewhere and don’t know where it is. I think I might have accidentally used it to sew my pants…
OOC: When I wrote sanity as a terrible thing……I meant it. Every word of it. I'm serious. So if you have no sanity left consider yourself lucky.
(OOC: This is actually true. After thinking about it, I realized that Terrek is actually a lot more powerful than I’ve been portraying him. This is because of a few things: 1) Whenever he hits you, he steals some of your soul, this makes him more powerful. 2) He’s a Sadistic Masochist: Hurting = Pleasure; Getting Hurt = Pleasure. He’s essentially fearless. Also, according the BoVD, for every 10 pts of dmg inflicted on him, he gets +1 to his attacks next round. For every 10 pts of dmg he deals, he gets +1 to his attacks next round. (They don’t stack, but he uses the higher of the two.) Plus it feels gooood… If we’re assuming that the Called Shot rules are in effect, (for the purposes of this little expo, lets just say they are) then he can hit you wherever he wants, almost without fail. So… yea. Anyways…)
Bunny: When are they going to realize that the most powerful one here is—

OOcat: shutupshutupshutupshutup

OOC:n Fourth wall? You mean we have walls here? I'm still trying to find a floor.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-27-06, 09:11 PM		OOC: When I wrote sanity as a terrible thing……I meant it. Every word of it. I'm serious. So if you have no sanity left consider yourself lucky.OOC: I must agree wholeheartedly. The closer to sane I am, the more miserable I feel. Thus, I avoid it as much as possible. :D

IC:

Terra: Ok, we're being watched by no less than four people in one way or another. You're slacking off.

OOKaizer: I'm working on it, ok!

Maddie: Who are you, male, and where did you come from?!

Lisa: This is our entity.

Maddie: :confused: Say what now?

OOKaizer does his impression of Jeanie (from I Dream of Jeanie). Not a very good one, but you get the idea.

Maddie: *cheerfully* How wonderful of you to join u-hey! What the hell?!!

OOKaizer: :D :P

Lisa: Don't think about it too hard.
rampant

07-27-06, 09:45 PM		OOC: Cypher, much as Satnak dislikes Terrek he is a real piece of work. Good Job, post more if you can it helps me flesh out Serene, maybe you could do something with her interacting with people aside from Terrek or Satnak. Not trying to be pushy, I just like co-op writing :D
--------------

Kithle - A Camp they say, it'll be fun they say, Geuss who gets to set it up? Me of course. Roosevelt no splinters in the bunks, save it for the bathrooms. Bunks get the drop pits. Ketler the mines go in the lake. Squishy the concession stand is next to the field, Chalky go stalk squishy over there. Norbaz!, Where is Norbaz?
cypher_zero

07-27-06, 10:00 PM		OOC: Actually, I’m rather pleased with how well things have gone co-writing her. Considering I left her as basically a blank slate when I created her, I think we’ve done a fairly decent job of creating her personality. Also, I do have some more stuff planned in the future for “fleshing her out” and interacting with other characters. In the immediate future, there’s Terra and Lisa (I think she’ll like Lisa a lot) when they come to visit. I do have one question though; what do you mean by, “a real piece of work,” exactly? I’m just curious as to whether you mean character attitude, powers/abilities, or something else.

On a side note here, I just wanted to mention that I think that a character’s personality comes out most when they are interacting with other characters. I also like doing these co-op posts cause I think it helps to develop both characters quickly while staying true to how the creator intended them.

One last thing: I’ve got another character on the horizon and several other little things planned. :evillaugh: You have been warned.
.
rampant

07-27-06, 10:18 PM		OOC: I mean he is a classy jerk. Its like a Magnificent Bastard, really good at being bad.
-------------------------

Satnak - ... Am I ready?

... Can I ask this of her?

... What will I do if she says no?

.. Wait a minute I'm angsting again.
cypher_zero

07-27-06, 10:23 PM		OOC: Actually, he's aiming to steal the title from Kithle. :schemes:
.
Rei32491

07-27-06, 10:55 PM		OOC: Ok, this is the end of it.

OOKaizer: :rolleyes: Finally.

OORei: :mad:

IC:

The group stands around Tyranthraxus's corpse.

Volrath: So...what now?

Nalfein: Well, if he has this castle, he must have some treasure around here somewhere...

He walks over to a wall and starts to look for a switch, but when he touches the wall, he goes through it.

Volrath: (running to the wall) Nalfein?

No response.

Volrath: (starts walking through the wall) Are you alrigh-

He stops in mid-sentence as he sees a massive hoard of items both magical and non-magical, and huge piles of every type of coin.

Nalfein: :drool:

Volrath: :OMG!

Pholly: (walking in) ... HOLY CRAP!

Nalfein & Volrath: MINE! NO, MINE! GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF THAT! MINE! MI-

Cuddles: STOP IT!

Nalfein & Volrath: :bigeyes:

Cuddles: Play nice you two.

Nalfein & Volrath: :weep:

Volrath: Anyway, since there is so much here, only take the important stu-Muradin what are you doing?

Muradin is walking up to him holding a bunch of round orange things.

Muradin: He who controls the kumquats controls the universe!

Volrath: Muradin, put those back. NOW!

Muradin: :weep: awwwwwww...

Nalfein: So, everyone pick out one magical souvenir, and we split the gold by measure of how useful you were...

Volrath: JUST ONE?!

Nafein: Yes, because if we get more then one, I know that you will make everyone else carry your stuff.

Volrath: ...so?

Nalfein: ...just one.

Volrath: Fine.

Nalfein is looking through a rather small pile of gold. After a bit he gets to the bottom and finds a golden circle shaped locket.

Nalfein: Hmmm, what’s this?

He opens it, only to find nothing. He slings it around his neck, but it starts to glow and it opens by itself. He sees a folded piece of paper inside. Taking it out, it reads:

Dear Nalfein,
If you have found this then that means that you have defeated Tyranthraxus. I am proud of you, son, you have proved that you can handle our family’s power.

Love,
Maria

Upon finishing the letter, he is surrounded by an aura of power and is lifted off his feet.

Nalfein: WTF!

The aura fades and he falls to the floor.

Nalfein

Mystic Theuger 10/ Invoker 10/ Cleric 5/ Binder 20 (FYI he only got the Binder class from that aura, everything else he got before, I just didn’t update him).

Nalfein: :w00t: NESS!

Volrath: What?

Nalfein: Now I'm a Binder! And I found this (hold up a book)

Volrath: Hmmmm, so you want to become a lich?

Nalfein: Yeah. Sa'vor suggested it a while back, and I thought it'd be cool.

Volrath: Eh.

Nalfein: …hate you. (both go back to looking)

After a bit of looking, everyone finds an item.

Nalfein: So, what did you get?

Volrath: A Rainbow shell. (Chrono Trigger)

Cuddles: +3 unbreakable plastic Vorpal teeth of Dracula.

Steve: Ring of Protection from magical weapons (glares at Muradin).

Muradin: Me got bad giants head for new helm! :D

Nalfein: Ooooooooooook.

Pholly: Alchemist fire recipe that shouldn’t explode...

Nalfein: We'll see how long that optimism lasts...

Squinty: I got a Lens of Maximize.

Nalfein: And I got a Helm of Glory.

Volrath: What is that behind your back?

Nalfein: Huh? Um...nothing…nothing at all. :shifty:

Volrath: (reaches around and grabs a bag) A bag of holding with (looks inside) HELMS OF GLORIES!!!

Nalfein: Don't you start with me! I saw you doing the same thing!

Volrath: ...shut up.

Nalfein: Ok, guys, show me what you took!

Everyone who got items pulls out a bag of holding.

Cuddles: Catnip. :devil: (damn you Kaizer_Ryu, damn you S.C.M.P! DAMN YOU I SAY) :D

Volrath: More Rainbow shells.

Muradin: Beer money.

Pholly: Money for damage I cause.

Squinty: Money for eye surgery.

Steve: Mine is full of items that make me immune to everything but magic, and this.

He puts a ring on and transforms into an adamantine golem.

Steve: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Takes it off and turns back to an earth elemental.

Steve: I get to be awesome for 15 minutes a day!

Klaz: Crikey! Why don' we get somethin’!

Nalfein: Because you guys are useless.

Klaz: Oi! :mad:

Vrin: He's right you know.

Klaz: Ah know, bu’ still…cheap shot. :weep:

Nalfein: Ok, Volrath, take us home.

Volrath: Right.

He opens a portal and they walk through.

OOC: Ok, they're back now. Just an FYI, the Binder stuff will be more humor related than anything.

It's Nalfein. What else do you expect? :D
Crystalforged

07-27-06, 11:26 PM		OOC: Actually, he's aiming to steal the title from Kithle. :schemes:
.
Your not the only one. Kanatash has been after it almost since Kithle first gained it. He just hasn't come out and said anything about it.
cypher_zero

07-27-06, 11:34 PM		OOC: No offence, but I think Terrek's got Kanatash on this one. Terrek doesn't even have to try, it's just the way he is.
Crystalforged

07-27-06, 11:45 PM		OOC: No offence, but I think Terrek's got Kanatash on this one. Terrek doesn't even have to try, it's just the way he is.
So you'er saying Kanatash isn't naturally a jack***? I'm not saying your necessarily WRONG, just that Kanatash is certainly still in the running. The way I see it Kanatash is less of an EVIL bastard (which is what I would peg Terrek as) and more of a PSYCHO bastard. He's still a bastard, just not exactly the same type as Terrek.



Whoa, I just realized how weird this discussion just got. Arguing over which of characters are the bigger bastard...
rampant

07-27-06, 11:49 PM		OOC: I hope you realize that Kanatash is too specialized in insanity for this competition. Terrek well lets just say kithle can handle the old soulsucker.
------------------

Kithle - Nonononono NO! The glue swamp goes over there Kanatash, your ineffable horrors belong on the other side of the lake.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-28-06, 12:19 AM		Upon his return, Cuddles wanders through the halls of the FF, trying to decide what to do next.

Cuddles: Hmmmm... Food or sex. Food or sex. Tough choice. I haven't eaten in hours, but it's been days since-

He is promptly tackled by a familiar humanoid ball of fur.

Marish: Cuddy-poo! I can't believe you came back and didn't even say hi. *pouts*

Cuddles: Well, I was gone a long time, and I wasn't sure if you were mad at me...

Marish: I am mad! You're wasting time and I need it bad!

Cuddles: I guess I'll have to do something about that. :devil:
------------
Nalfein: *shudder* Oh, come on! :mad:

Volrath: What?

Nalfein: We've been back, what...half an hour?

Volrath: Something like that. Why?

Nalfein: Let's just say I've never been much on fur and leave it at that.

Volrath: Eww...
cypher_zero

07-28-06, 01:36 AM		OOC: I didn't mean to start a debate about who's the biggest bastard, nor did I mean to imply that Terrek was actively trying for it. I'm just saying that I think that of all the characters onboard, I think Terrek is the biggest bastard. He couldn't give a crap either way. I am going to point out one thing that I don't think you all have realized yet. EVERYTHING Terrek does has an ulterior motive and/or some plot/scheme behind it. Think about it. If you can guess what his ultimate goal is, you'll get a :cookie:; just don't tell anyone. Send it to me in a PM if you think you've got it. I'll award :cookie:’s after the plan comes to fruition.
.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-28-06, 07:23 AM		(damn you Kaizer_Ryu, damn you S.C.M.P! DAMN YOU I SAY)
OOcat: :confused: What did I do?

Quench: :devil:
urial angel of death

07-28-06, 12:27 PM		Maddie: The remaining schools are for the learning of different types of magic they are categorized by school and source. Each one has its own dangers such as the stairs not being where they seem in the illusion building, hallways changing in the Transmutation school, and of course people coming to "collect" if you signed yes of the organ donor card in the necromancy building. Going to building after building of just slightly different magic school gets rather boring so I won't make you endure it. There is also a psionics college, but if you really wanted that you would send your kids to the island anyway. The last school is a college for incarnum, but everyone over there hates me. Thus ends the tour.

Lisa: That didn't really motivate us to send our kids here.

Maddie: Not like I care. I don't get paid by the school, and Volrath just forced me to give a tour not a good tour. Good bye, lesser beings. *disappears in a puff of smoke*
luna18moon

07-28-06, 01:09 PM		Slaypaw: Drat, Cuddles came back. It's going to take forever to find another opportunity. :mad:
Fluffy: Meanwhile, what are we going to do?
Slaypaw: I think I'll take my impatience out on the squirrels.
Fluffy: I'm with you.
rampant

07-28-06, 02:21 PM		SC Commander - Chirrup rup-irrup squeak SQUEAK (unleash the chocobos of war)
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-28-06, 04:13 PM		SC Commander - Chirrup rup-irrup squeak SQUEAK (unleash the chocobos of war)
Bunny: Snacks.

13: Snacks, check.

Bunny: Drinks.

13: Drinks, check.

Bunny: Lounge chairs.

13: Lounge chairs, check.

Bunny: Extra plot device.

13: Extra plot device, check.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-28-06, 09:05 PM		OOC: With the Squirrels going on the offensive, seems like a great time for this.

IC:

Several Squirrels in various colorful outfits gather around a small table. One of the more gruff looking ones in sunglasses stands and addresses his men.

Swordhaver: All right, men. Our battle with Blue Laser will have to wait. A new threat has emerged.

Reinforcements: :eek: What could be more dangerous than Blue Laser?! Those loonies tried to blow up the ocean!

Swordhaver: Cats.

Crackotage: (always speaks in rhyme) I see battle up ahead. We'd best win, or we'll soon be dead!

Reynold: (the nerd) Can I come too?

Swordhaver: Sorry Reynold. Those cats would eat you alive. You don't even have a sword like I do.

Reynold: Aw, shucks. I never get to go on any missions...

Swordhaver: Squeak Commandos...time to ROCK, ROCK ON!!!
Gladius_Lucix

07-28-06, 11:30 PM		Liam: Darn you.

OOGladius: What?

Liam and OOGladius are sitting in Liam's lab. Liam is pouting, and OOGladius is attempting to look innocent.

Liam: You just knew that some other entity would pick up on Camp Forgotten Freedom and run with it, even if I didn't.

OOGladius: Actually, I didn't. I just came up with it and threw it out there.

Liam: Now Jarlot roped me into teaching the kids particle physics and the theory that the Weir/Insan Converter uses.

OOGladius: So? It's not like you don't understand it.

Liam: But that's just it: I don't understand it. Even in the most normal place on Eberron, it would generate power from the simple fact that it DOES work. I think it would take Kanatash's "perfect insanity" to truly understand the how and why of it.

OOGladius: Well, that probably explains why his DM Breaker series works so well.

Liam: Hmmmm.... The DM Breaker knocks out the, shall we say, "current" entity. Maybe Kanatash could use the DM Breaker, and I could examine the entity/victim.

OOGladius: I don't think that's a good idea...

Liam: Kanatash, I really need to talk to you! :devil:

OOC:
@Crystalforged: For the interview, a general description of the process and experience, some about the new powers, just try to make it as strange as you can. And, as the new idea came up, possible examination of an unconcious E.B.N.E.
cypher_zero

07-28-06, 11:50 PM		OOC: Btw Liam, if you still wanted to do the interview with Terrek, I'm up for it; just lemme know.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-29-06, 12:54 AM		Lisa: Well, that was a bust.

Terra: No kidding. We barely saw any of the campus, and the tour guide left a lot to be desired...

Lisa: Do you think we should...are you ok?

Terra: *grimacing slightly* I think we should leave. Quickly.

They warp out, reappearing on the Astral plane.

Lisa: Is it finished?

Terra: Yeah. Stay here.

Terra moves a ways away from Lisa after enveloping her in a magical shield. Energy surrounds Terra as she writhes in pain. It forms into a kind of matrix formation twisting around her. The power flowing from Terra buffets the shield encasing Lisa. From her vantage point, Lisa can see a strange glow eminating from her. It is neither light nor dark, it just is. A pair of semi-solid wings erupt from her back. At first glance, they seem to be angelic, but a more twisted form. They wrap around Terra tightly as she curls into a ball. The power waves cease, and the energy matrix closes in again. The wings open, revealing Terra's new form.

To Lisa, the only words that come to mind to describe it is horrifically beautiful. The wings, now solid, remained a prominant feature, but they are accompanied by about a dozen tentacles. Terra opened her eyes and headed toward Lisa. As she approaches, more details come into focus. Her eyes are a solid-gold yellow, her green hair has turned a soft pink. Her fingers end in claws, and her body eminates the same glow as before. Terra dispels the shield as she stands there.

Terra: What do you think?

Lisa: I...I don't know. I've never seen anything like it, that's for sure.

Terra: I have no idea how to even describe what this feels like...

Her wings wrap around her again, and when they open, Terra is back to normal. She stumbles slightly, falling into Lisa's arms as the wings dissipate.

Lisa: You ok?

Terra: *sleepily* Yeah...I just need to rest for a bit...

Terra falls asleep almost immediately, Lisa stroking her hair softly.

OOC: Ok, cypher, whenever you're ready.
rampant

07-29-06, 02:02 AM		Forbes - I do not like the angels interfering, but i must say Nuar is almost as creative as his brother.

Levy - High Praise, I know how you obsses over those daggers you stole from krem- kromiless something eh.

Forbes - Not often an angel does something worthwhile.

Levy - Your're telling me. Of course you have to tinker with them.

Forbes - Well duh, I wouldn't be a ficer if i didn't.
----------------------------------
Satnak is running a practice kata in her gym.

Satnak - Hah!, Heh!, Hsh!, Need to set the wieghts higher tomorrow. Need to talk to Serene then to.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-29-06, 03:03 AM		OOC: Just FYI, Naur had no say in the final outcome. He just got the ball rolling, and the interaction of divine and arcane, angelic and demonic energies took care of the rest. Ever since the angel part came about, I've been thinking about how to reconcile it with the demon part. Though I think it was (as it often is) WAY cooler in my head, the transformation resulted in something unprecedented. I'll get into more detail about what she can do when opportunities arise. For future reference, the wings are much like Satnak's. They come out when she wants them to, regardless of whether she's in her normal or alternate form.
cypher_zero

07-29-06, 03:10 AM		OOC: If you were trying to get me to post quickly by having Terra transform right before they were supposed to go to Terrek’s then you’re a bastard… but you succeeded none the less. I will have you know that it’s two am and I put down my modeling knife to type this so… Bastard. :heehee

IC:
Lisa floats holding Terra’s form turning things over in her mind as she strokes her lover’s hair. A small portal appears before them and she looks up apprehensively. Terrek steps through and hovers before them. He looks down at the two of them, his expression unreadable. Silently he extends his hand to Lisa and lifts Terra with his chains, guiding them both through the portal. They appear in Terreks lab where he strides over to a table and sets Terra’s limp form down leaving Lisa by the now closed portal. She moves over to the table where Terra lays as Terrek begins to grab the instruments above the table, the same expressionless set to his features.

Lisa: (slightly confused and apprehensive) Um… Terrek, what are you doing?

Terrek doesn’t even look up as he replies.

Terrek: Tests.

Lisa: Ok, but what’s going on? We’re on your plane right? What is this place?

She pauses for a moment waiting for his reply and stares at him. Terrek just continues hovering over Terra’s form as though he hadn’t heard a word.

Lisa: … :ahem: D*mm*t Terrek! Answer me!

Terrek pauses and turns slowly, as though angry, then sighs and regains his composure.

Terrek: *sigh* I suppose I have time to explain. What happened to Terra was very sudden and intentional. She even wanted it to happen, for all of your sakes; yes I know about the children but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, she’s mutated. It’s not all that uncommon on the FF, but it’s usually self imposed and never by an outside power; hence this is different. Now, I have a question; who can you trust?

Lisa thinks for a moment, taken aback by the question and is about to answer when Terrek cuts her off.

Terrek: I’m going to tell you the answer because I think you need to hear it. No one. You cannot trust anyone. There are certain leniencies that you can allow certain individuals, but ultimately you can’t trust anyone. Here’s my point: this was done to Terra by angels, at the behest of someone with her best wishes at heart. This still does not mean that the angel that did this can be trusted. He may have had the best of intentions as well, but he said that he didn’t know exactly what would happen. I now hold much of the darkness that once gripped Terra within me, and trust me, it’s not something to be trifled with. Naur, for all his power, knows little to nothing of it and he attempted to manipulate it. That was not only foolish, but potentially hazardous to Terra. I need to know exactly what he did and hopefully I can glean how he did it. Despite my apparent lack of compassion, I have a vested interest in seeing that Terra not be manipulated or harmed by outside forces. Now, I apologize for my abruptness but I really must do this quickly. Dinner will be served in an hour. Until then, my daughter Serene will show you around.

Terrek turns back to Terra and begins working away furiously. Lisa looks at him slightly shell-shocked.

Lisa: You have a daughter?

Serene enters from as nowhere and approaches Lisa.

Serene: (bowing slightly then glancing first at Lisa, then at Terrek) Don’t worry about him, he gets like this sometimes. I’m Serene by the way. You must be Lisa; dad’s been expecting you.

Lisa: (Looks away from Terrek to meet Serene gaze; is slightly awed by her physical perfection) You’re Terrek’s daughter? … I’m sorry, that was rude. Yes, I’m Lisa, and that’s Terra over there that’s got your dad… worried?

Serene: Well, as close to worried as I’ve ever seen him. He usually has eighteen different contingency plans for anything. This came up kind of by surprise and he doesn’t like that. I’m sure she’ll be fine, he just gets excited. Anyway, lemme show you around the castle. We’re in the lab right now, but I’ll show you that later when dad’s not being so angsty.

Serene leads terra away form the table and starts toward a wall. Lisa looks around for a doorway, but Serene starts waking up the wall. Lisa stops and stares at her. Serene keeps going for a minute then stops when she realizes that Lisa is no longer following her. Her eyes widen in amused surprise and she giggles putting her hand over her mouth.

Serene: Oh my! I forgot; you’re not used to subjective gravity are you?

Lisa: What?

Serene: Subjective gravity. It basically means that which way is down or up depends on what surface you’re standing on. Here, just put your foot onto the wall and shift your weight onto it. You’ll feel the gravity take hold and then you just bring your other foot up. It might take you a while to get used to, but it’s really easy.

Lisa does as she instructs but looses her balance and falls onto the wall.

Serene: Oh my Keith Baker! Are you alright? Let me help you up!

Rushes over and helps Lisa to her feet, who is looking kind of flushed.

Serene: I’m so sorry! I’m just so used to it I didn’t think... Are you okay? I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…

Lisa: It’s alright. Calm down. I’m ok. I’m just a little confused right now with all of this. I mean, this isn’t the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me, but I don’t think I’ve ever walked on a wall before; just not something I’m used to.

Serene: Actually, I kind of know what you mean. When I first got onboard the ship, it was a little confusing. I almost tried to walk up a wall before dad told me I couldn’t. It still feels weird whenever I’m there with there being only one up.

OOC: Aright, it’s late and I needs t3h sl33p. Will post more of this later. Feel free to post a continuation of the conversation (or preferably, have Terra wake up and explain what’s going on with her) if you wish, but bear in mind, for future reference as well, that Terra and Lisa are effectively powerless for the time being. I’ve got lots of fun little things planned for this, so it could go on for a bit if that’s alright with you (I mean with them being in Terrek’s realm sort of thing). Anyways, it’s getting hard to form coherent thoughts so I’m going to sleep now. More tomorrow.
.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-29-06, 05:12 AM		OOC: I wasn't trying to rush you or anything, but hey, it worked out pretty well for me. :D But a conversation between Terra and Terrek. Oi. With names that sound so much alike, this'll be painful to keep straight. :P

IC:

Terrek: Fascinating...

Terra: *opening her eyes* Yes, I am. Thanks for noticing.

Terrek: :rolleyes: Sarcasm. You must feel fine, then.

Terra: Better than fine.

Terrek: You don't seem that surprised to be here.

Terra: I'm a composite creature comprised of four different beings. None of them need sleep. Even in the deepest medidtation, I have some awareness of my surroundings. Anything less is just asking for death where I come from.

Terrek: That saves me an explanation... Mind if I ask you a few questions?

Terra: Shoot.

Terrek: Why did you go through with it? The one who did this had no inkling of what he was dealing with.

Terra: Saying that Naur is solely responsible is incorrect. It was a combined effort between him, myself, and my mother. Gaia has lived with my darker side for nearly two centuries now. I have lived with it for my whole life. Naur had the power we needed in order to attempt this.

Terrek: It seemed a bit unlike you to trust him with such a task.

Terra: He was smart enough to realize that tampering with something so delicate could have had grave consequences. Whether I trusted him to have my best interests in mind was not the point. I trusted him to have his best interests in mind, and that involved not pulling any tricks. That is also why I agreed to come here. You're smart enough not to pull anything overly underhanded, because you recognize that there is always a "next time" when dealing with allies. You have a vested interest in the crew of the FF. You're not going to jeopardize your relationship with us by p*ssing me or Lisa off.

Terrek: Quite perceptive. Next point. I've been studying the shadow power you wield since I first saw it. I thought it came from that darkness that dwells within you. However, I absorbed some of that darkness when reviving you, along with the remnants of the demi-god's power, but I have no signs of those abilities.

Terra: That's actually quite easy. The shadow abilities stem from my genetic makeup. That darkness is only a byproduct of those genes mixed with several traumatic experiences. Ariajni and Theronas mean't for it to consume me, effectively killing me without damaging my body. No, what you took from me was neither that or Ariajni's power. That I had used up when killing him. I cannot keep power I drain permenantly, only use it as my own before it fades away. What you took was his final attempt to avoid defeat.

Terrek: Final attempt... A soul seed?

Terra: Correct. He was trying to make damn sure that if he lost, at least I wouldn't win. He tried to kill me outright by disembowling me, and disrupted my life force to nullify healing and prevent revival attempts. He planted that seed just in case I managed to survive all that and kill him. He didn't have time to consider that you would take it from me. When you did, it had already begun to spread. It took some of the darkness with it, much like dirt clinging to a plant's roots.

Terrek: So...what I feel is only a small portion of what you still hold? How do you not succumb?

Terra: I had part of an angel's soul protecting me most of my life, keeping it from total domination. It has since been tamed by the new angel in my life (i.h.h. :cloud9: ). You feel the full effects of it because you have nothing to truly counter it.

Terrek: But that still begs the question, how did you do it? Such forces are naturally in opposition. Pulling them together would seem the catalyst for disaster if not done perfectly.

Terra: Only one who feels both forces can truly understand it. Think of Sa'vor's living/undead status. He is neither and he is both. He exists in a state of non-life. Only he know what that really means.

Terrek: That's avoiding the question.

Terra: Only because answering it is like trying to describe color to a blind man, or sound to a deaf man (both without psionics). Try all you like, it won't be the whole picture.

Terrek: At least give it a shot.

Terra: Hmmmm.... I guess the best way to put it is to think of a magnet. The north and south poles are opposites, put them together and they cancel each other. The two forces in me are much the same way. Before, if I tried to use both at the same time, I got nothing.

Terrek: So, what is different?

Terra: When you use magnets properly, they can generate a great deal of power. In much the same way, my body has been realigned so that they support each other instead of hinder. It's not an exact analogy, but the closest thing I can think of. The new form I can take is merely a reflection of this change.

Terrek: This whole endeavor seems more than a little foolhardy. Too many unknowns bouncing around.

Terra: Unknowns are what make life worth living.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-29-06, 06:57 AM		Terrek: But that still begs the question, how did you do it? Such forces are naturally in opposition. Pulling them together would seem the catalyst for disaster if not done perfectly.…
OOcat: It's a matter/anti-matter thing: when you put them together they destroy each other and create energy in the process, which can then recrate the original particles. You have fundamental creation and destruction in the same instance. It's not an issue of keeping them balanced by preventing them from doing anything, it's an issue of keeping them balanced by keeping their opposing forces aligned against each other. If you miss it doesn't matter because they are constantly sending out particles of interaction which moderate each others' effects on the universe.

Bunny: I said it before: life is death.

OOcat: Not quite. It's making sure everyone is equally screwed so they don't try anything funny and end up destroying everything.

Illithid: Dude, like…cereeeeeeeeebral.
Terra: Unknowns are what make life worth living.
13: Sure, what else are you going to do with your time?
Lord Kale Fangblade

07-29-06, 08:03 AM		Naz'roth releases his hand from the crystal ball. Most interesting this terrek character was, Naz'roth would have to pay close attention to him in future.

Sa’vors: (standing on the Ceiling) where are they now?

Naz'roth: (glances at Sa'vor) im suprised the blood hasnt run to your head.

Sa'vor: Im a Blood Magus, i have a certain control over my bood.

Naz'roth: They're at Terreks Plane, and i also realise that he is listening to us through you at this time.

Sa'vor: *evil smile* he doesnt have full control. In fact he has less control over me than he would like to, and more than i would like. Of course he tries to understand how i can be Living/undead.

Naz'roth: *chuckles* yes, i figured that. Though the explanation Terra gave was quite accurate. Seeing as i created the state in which you now reside im suprised Terrek hasnt figured it out, of course he doesnt have the advantages i have.

Sa'vor: are you not worried about what i owe him?

Naz'roth: I am as worried as you are, but Terrek is far more subtle than most crew members. If he truly wished to destroy us he would cause us all to bicker and then...

Sa'vor: *cuts him off* we’d all be at each others throats *evil grin*

Naz'roth: exactly. Now, what can you tell me about this dreamweaver entity?

Sa'vor: *frowns* very little. Vortis only saw him once. I know however that he has little true power, but this does not mean we can underestimate him. His original plan was for Vortis to kill me and replace me, then to use me to start fights amongst the crew. Eventually only one would be standing. He could not tell who that would be though.

Naz'roth: * steeples his fingers* most would think that as Satnak.

Sa'vor: there are still the factors of you or Tara or Terrek. And perhaps Terra and Lisa with the necklaces you gave them.

Naz'roth: indeed. Those necklaces are truly powerful; i have placed no charms or negative effects on them like i should have. But of course i know that Terra and Lisa do not CURRENTLY have cause to attack me.

Sa'vor: what about Naurs magic didn’t he use a portion of his power on Terra?

Naz'roth: Naur is honourable; he would rather face me in direct combat. He knows i couldn’t win in such a situation. Despite my power.

Sa'vor: So you'll have to cheat?

Naz'roth: *evil grin* oh yes...
Kaizer_Ryu

07-29-06, 01:12 PM		OOcat: It's a matter/anti-matter thing: when you put them together they destroy each other and create energy in the process, which can then recrate the original particles. You have fundamental creation and destruction in the same instance. It's not an issue of keeping them balanced by preventing them from doing anything, it's an issue of keeping them balanced by keeping their opposing forces aligned against each other. If you miss it doesn't matter because they are constantly sending out particles of interaction which moderate each others' effects on the universe.The matter/anti-matter analogy is close as well, but also not quite correct. Though it is appropriate for how they interacted before, only without the energy created, they no longer have a kind of "mutually assured destruction" interaction. It's more of a synergistic relationship now.
luna18moon

07-29-06, 02:49 PM		Slaypaw: They want a war? They got one!
Produces a red lunchbox and packs it full of weights.
Fluffy: :confused: What are you going to do with a lunchbox?
Slaypaw: DO NOT INSULT THE LUNCHBOX!
Slaypaw swings the lunch box at a conveniently placed barrel, which shatters.
Slaypaw: That. :devil:

The Lunchbox
The Lunchbox is a magic weapon with the statistics of a +5 mace. Its damage increases when hard or heavy things are placed in it, in this case weights.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-29-06, 05:15 PM		Jaela: Why isn't anything happening?

Erk: Our E.B.N.E. has a focus problem.

Death Paper: I could give it a "tap" of motivation.

Erk: Won't work that way. Silvercat has a mind that is able to transcend fiction. However, when it is not trascending fiction it is dead.

Death Paper: ??? What does that mean?

NJ26: Every time you distract him we don't exist. So you can't distract him.

Death Paper: ??? I think you guys aren't making sense on purpose.
rampant

07-29-06, 05:38 PM		Nj26 - Big Fat Duh!!!
Kaizer_Ryu

07-29-06, 05:56 PM		Lisa: Say, Serene...

Serene: Yeah?

Lisa: Terrek never mentioned anything about a daughter before. Was he just not saying anything, or what?

Serene: He actually created me a short while after the two of you left. I've heard all about you from the other crew members, Satnak specifically, and I'm very excited to meet you personally.

Lisa: How's she doing anyway? She was in the middle of a major transformation when we left.

Serene: Oh, she's doing quite well. I don't want to spoil anything, so you'll have to see for yourself what happened.

Lisa: Oh, yeah. Do you know if she got that package I dropped off?

Serene: She did. She's been acting a little odd since she received those heirlooms. I'm not too concerned, though. She's got a lot on her mind.

Lisa: That's an understatement if I've ever heard one... But, by the way you talk, you know her pretty well already.

Serene: By Eberron time, you've been gone about two months. When I first came aboard, we just seemed to click.

Lisa: Well, that's always good to hear. Satnak just seems to have trouble making close friends. Though, now that I think about it, she's been getting better at it since she was able to reestablish contact with her home.

Serene: She is most definitely a very silly girl. ;)

Lisa stops dead in her tracks. Even though she had only just met Serene, that kind of intonation in her voice was unmistakable...

Lisa: I...don't want to pry, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but...are you and Satnak...more than just friends?

Serene: :) I like to think so. Satnak seems to think so too.

Lisa: :mymy: :( And we're missing it?

Serene: I'm pretty much letting her take the lead. As you know, she has some things to work through. I don't want to put any undue pressure on her.

Lisa: I'm glad. She's just seemed lost since Levy turned her down. I just wish we were there to see it.

Serene: Don't even think about cutting your honeymoon short. Satnak would never forgive you if you came back just for her. You two take as long as you want. We'll fill you in when you get back.

Lisa: I look forward to it.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-29-06, 08:31 PM		Lisa: :mymy: :( And we're missing it?
Silver: Hey…:thinks:…that means…:eek:…I'm missing it—
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Terrek: Let me guess……this assist is going to cost me?

OOcat: No.

Terrek: I don't believe it's possible to make a deal with an E.B.N.E. without a catch.

OOcat: I'm good.

Terrek: I will :twitch: figure it out.

OOcat: Figure out what?

Terrek: I will :twitch: not be fooled.

OOcat: :bored: Hey, it's your paranoid delusion. (OOC: :devil: )
Kaizer_Ryu

07-29-06, 08:49 PM		OOC: :confused: Why do my innocent comments keep getting turned into dirty jokes? All I was saying is that Satnak was in the beginnings of a romantic relationship, and her friends wanted to see it grow. See? Totally innocuous. I was in no way suggesting anything more than this. Regardless of how your twisted mind interpreted it. :D
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-29-06, 08:56 PM		OOC: :confused: Why do my innocent comments keep getting turned into dirty jokes? All I was saying is that Satnak was in the beginnings of a romantic relationship, and her friends wanted to see it grow. See? Totally innocuous. I was in no way suggesting anything more than this. Regardless of how your twisted mind interpreted it. :D
OOC: :confused: What dirty joke? Silver is a conoseur of the ultimate thing to conoseur. She'd want to watch it too [NOT IN THAT CONTEXT………well, not just in that context] (:shifty: and maybe do a little manipulation on the side………).

My mind isn't twisted. It's perfectly straight. It's just that from your twisted perspective you can't see that. :D
cypher_zero

07-29-06, 09:20 PM		OOC: What assist?
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-29-06, 09:30 PM		OOC: What assist?
OOC: :doh: *echo effect* I hate when I do this (i.h. :banghead: )

Silver is a god of feltility and all the stuff that goes with………she has a small but growing reputation that she does crazy things……………Serene and Satnak are currently developing a relationship, which falls under her portfolio……… need any more hints?
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

07-29-06, 10:19 PM		Chanse is wandering the ship exploring, when he stumbles across Ketler hard at work, deviding his atention between 2 coffin sized vats. In each a half formed man shaped thing can be seen floating. Near by is a leght of adamtine chain, on both ends it it capped with a set of hooks and bindings ment to wrap around the spine and vertebray.
Chanse "Uh Hi, so what are you up to?"
Ketler "Oh, new on board?"
Chanse "Yeah I droped in after visiting the Sharn museum."
Ketler "Well Hi then, this, is my new weapon. Idea came to me last night. Every one knows how awesome Chuck Noris is, so I scavenged a sample from when satnak zorched him. Now what do you think happens when you harnes his power as a weapon?" *Manical gleam in his eyes*
Chanse "I have no Idea?"
Ketler, now in full Mad sientist monologing mode "[I]two Chuck Noris's linked symbyoticly by an enchanted, unbreakable chain! I shall call it, the *Noris chucks*!" :evillaugh
cypher_zero

07-29-06, 10:28 PM		OOC: No offense, but Terrek is a master geneticist. If Serene and Satnak want a kid, Serene'll just go to him. Plus, you are getting way ahead of yourself and my plot. Not to sound like a jerk, but I'd rather other people stay out of it unless you're directly involved. I don't mean to come off sounding like an ***** but you've no idea what I've got planned so I'd rather you left me to things like that. Also, I know that as a general rule, everyone's character's are subject to use by other people, but leave Terrek to me. His character is extremely complex and I'm not saying you couldn’t' understand it, I'm just saying you can't yet because I haven't explained it all. For instance: while Terrek is skeptical of everything, he's not even remotely paranoid; suspicious, yes, but not paranoid. What you did in the last post isn’t even remotely like Terrek nor does it fit with what’s going on or what’s going to happen. Also, for the most part, Terrek would rather that the E.B.N.E.'s did not "exist" to begin with, but since he knows there's no way he can influence them, he'd rather just avoid them altogether or ignore them when he can't. Another thing: Terrek's plane is CLOSED. Unless I put someone there, they aren't there. This also goes for seeing/hearing/knowing what goes on there. If it happens in Terrek's realm, it stays in Terrek's realm; unlike Vegas (‘cause we all know that as soon as you get home you tell everyone everything that happened there.). However, there are a few beings that Terrek has allowed to know what’s going on there. These are: Sa’vor, Terra and Serene. He can shut even these out if he chooses to (I’ll be sure to make note of it). To everyone else, it’s a closed door. Again, sorry about coming on as being cross and I didn’t mean for this to turn into a rant, but there you have it. Anyways, more on what’s going on IC later.
.
rampant

07-29-06, 11:22 PM		OOC: Satnak Might be more comfortable with Caralot for her geneticist. If she pulls anything funny Satnak can wipe her out, Terrek is protected as long as serene is around and more likely to try something.
-----------------------------

Forbes - Disarray I want you to escort Mrs. Borisheel here to the Forgotten Freedom, I know how upset you were when you couldn't make the first two trips,... as does my wall.

Disarray (a purlple covered humanoid with oversized metal bootls and gauntlets) - Finally I thought I'd never get to see the big chili scarfer. Hey you knew her back in the before, was she always addicted to the stuff?

Brown robed figure - grunt
cypher_zero

07-29-06, 11:36 PM		OOC: Yea, but who says kids are in the near future? Worry about it when the time comes.
Crystalforged

07-30-06, 12:05 AM		OOC: Sorry about taking so long on this Gladius, I was away from the computer all day. Anyways, on with the show then.



Liam and Kanatash have sat down in a side chamber of the FF so they can finally have their interview.

Kanatash: Let’s try to make this quick if possible.

Liam: I’ll try, is there something you need to attend to?

Kanatash: I’ve got to prepare for the little munchkins who should be arriving shortly. I still need to open a few portals to random planes, stock the bear traps with bears, and release bigfoot, the boogyman, and Mr T into the surrounding woods. Oh and finds some monsters to put under the kid’s beds.

Liam: Well them, why don’t we begin with the DM Breaker or Maker, whichever you prefer. How does it work?

Kanatash: Well, the manner in which it functions is quite difficult to explain to anyone who has not already lost their mind but the effect it causes is rather easier.

Liam: How does it function then?

Kanatash: Simply put it creates an effect so impressive that the controlling entity’s mind cannot comprehend it. The entity’s mind then temporarily shuts down to protect itself from damage.

Liam: So how does the DM Maker function then?

Kanatash: Oh, that’s simplicity itself. You see I reversed the polarity on the device so rather than creating an impressive effect it instead created an effect so unimpressive that it ceased to be impressive at all becoming anti-impressive. Then when this anti-impressive effect met with the impressive effects naturally floating around the ship both effects unmade each other in a blast of anti-reality which I then combined with the reality inherent in my entity which was near by. The reality and anti-reality combined and I harnessed the resulting surge of impossibility to hurl myself beyond non-existence. Elementary really.

Liam: (nods sagely)

Kanatash: You didn’t understand a bit of that did you?

Liam: Not a word.

Kanatash: That means your sanity is still intact, an impressive accomplishment on this ship. Take solace in that.

Liam: Alrighty then. What can you tell me about being an entity then?

Kanatash: Hmm, well then. First I have to ask, I know you have talked with your entity but have you broken through the Fourth wall yet? It makes this much simpler if you have.

Liam: :confused: The what?

Kanatash: That would be a no. Let me explain it then. We, in this world, do not, as such, exist.

Liam: :uh-huh:

Kanatash: The entities are the only thing around here that actually exists. Everything else is simply an elaborate fantasy contrived by the entities for their own entertainment. We are their playthings, a way to act out their, often sick and twisted, fantasies. We are simply elaborate concepts which have been written about on some forum out in cyberspace.

Liam: So that means when you became an entity you…

Kanatash: …became in some way, real. Yes, precisely. Or at least I gained the ability to some what influence the real world.

Liam: So what was it like being an entity.

Kanatash: Well it was… interesting, to say the least. As an entity I gained complete and ultimate power, like that of any other entity, over this world.

Liam: What kind of power are you talking about?

Kanatash: Well, the simplest way is to show but I don't feel like going through the trouble of ascending right now so I'll just borrow a bit of my entity's power, with his permission, for the moment.

Kanatash concentrates for a moment before a suddenly a rubber chicken (:chicken:) falls from the sky, neglecting the fact there is a roof over head, striking Liam in the head. Liam bends over to pick up :chicken: and the moment he does he suddenly grows a mustache and begins speaking with a spanish accent.

Liam: My name is Inego Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.

Liam then stabs forward with :chicken:, striking a redshirt which has just appeared out of thick air. The redshirt falls over dead before he, :chicken:, mustache, and accent evaporate in a flurry of multicolored bubbles.

Liam: :mymy: That was... um... impressive....

Kanatash: Yes, I said absolutely nothing about the bubbles. However, another thing I discovered as an entity was that I actually had very little power to shape the real world, far less than I have here to shape this false one, in truth I am almost powerless there. I suppose this is true for all entities, which would explain the incredible, overcompensating power trips they occasionally go on here. They way “some” of them act, they must be truly sad and pitiful creatures in reality.

OOCrystalforged: Don’t push your luck kiddo. I take enough **** from you as is and I cut you a lot of slack. I have limits however, and you really don’t want to find out what happens when you cross them.

Liam: Ah, you must be Kanatash’s entity. As long as you’re here I wished to inquire, are these things Kanatash has told me accurate. I have trouble believing some of his claims.

OOCrystalfroged: Meh, minus some of the embellishments, yeah. It’s all basically true but he like’s to exaggerate things to try to impress you. I swear sometimes it seems he does more overcompensating than he “claims” we entities do.

Kanatash: :pbbbtt: Yeah, whatever you power tripping munchkin.

OOCrystalforged: :rolleye2: Look who’s talking.

Liam: EXCUSE ME. (both look at him) If I might I have a few more questions. For example, does Kanatash actually take physical form in this “real” world?

OOCrystalforged: Well, yes and no. It’s kinda complicated. You see sometimes it seems that he is a completely separate being who can act independently of myself, while other times he seems no more than another voice in my head.

Kanatash: To be completely honest, something I’m not very often, neither of us understands the whole process by which I am able to become an entity. I don’t understand what being an entity means all that well either. (pointing at OOCrystalforged) HE understands it but he’s being a bastard right now and doesn’t have any intention of actually helping your research.

OOCrystalforged: :D I like being mysterious and frustrating.

Kanatash: :bored: I noticed. (turning back to Liam) If you really want to study an entity you’re going to have to use this. (pulls a new gun) The new and improved DM Breaker 2.0. I’ve added on a storage battery to store my weir/insan energy so now it can be used by someone else. It’s only good for one shot before it needs to be returned to me for a recharge but it’s better than nothing. (hands the gun to Liam)

OOCrystalforged: Before you even think about it, it’s not worth the horrible, horrible retribution I will visit upon you mind, body, and soul. I do however believe I saw your own entity over there somewhere. You can do whatever you want however, I’m outta here. (vanishes)

Kanatash: Yeah, I gotta go too. I should say though your best bet to use that weapon on is your own entity. After all he’s probably fonder than any of the other entities so the retributions from him would probably be the least out of anyone.

Liam: Wait! What if I have more questions?

Kanatash looks at him for a moment and then hands him a spoon out of nowhere.

Kanatash: When you can bend this spoon with your will alone, we’ll talk. And by will alone I mean NO psionics or magic.

Liam: But… That’s not possible. Is it?

Kanatash: Word to the wise, never assume anything is “impossible” on this ship you’re probably wrong.

Liam: How am I supposed to do it then?

Kanatash: (smiles) Just remember, there is no spoon. (vanishes leaving Liam confused and frustrated, but with a big *** gun)

Liam: (looks down at the DM Breaker 2.0, then off in the direction OOCrystalforged pinted, the direction in which OOGladius supposedly lay) Well, might as well make the best of it.



OOC: I'll leave the examination of the entity to you Gladius. I really don't know what Liam whould look for. You can have him go after any entity you want, just remember, if he does after me... well, he's been warned. :schemes:
Kaizer_Ryu

07-30-06, 12:14 AM		OOC: Cypher, I don't want to shoot you down, you make several good points. These are just some things to keep in mind. The E.B.N.E. are there solely for humorous intent. They do not, technically, exist. By their (I distinguish between OOC and OO<insert name here>, except when it's funny) very nature, they can trancend any and all rules of the universe(s). However, by the same token, they cannot do anything truely useful, aside from Plot Devices and Narrative Elements, and even those are restricted to IC mode if they are actually achieving something of merit.

I can think several instances where I've misplayed someone else's character, or had the same done to mine. Ex: When Terrek called Terra a fool (twice), I quietly pointed out why she was not. But there are other times when someone has played them differently than I would have, and I liked it better. Ex: I am not the one who actually started the more intimate interaction between Terra and Lisa. If it's completely off the mark, with no chance of salvaging it or incorporating it into the direction you want to take, mention it (as you did) and ignore any ramifications of it in future posts.

Sometimes, though, you just have to let it slide. Hell, I stated quite clearly that my OOKaizer self had blocked all viewing of Terra and Lisa by anyone but Bunny, Silver, 13, and the E.B.N.E. Only Volrath had any idea of what was going on, but only through the empathic link (again, only for the purpose of humor). When that was ignored, I turned it into a crack against myself.

Again, I do agree with you on several points. But as SilvercatMoonpaw said a while back, don't think too far ahead. Keeping your character true to your vision is usually a good idea, but being too inflexible with a character can also have it's drawbacks. The sheer volume of my scrapped plots would easily put me in hot water with the EPA (Electron Protection Agency). Over the course of the thread, Terra has taken a completely different path than the one I had intended. I happen to like this one better. I even gained another character as a result (and two more on the way :D ).

Terra: If you can trancend all rules, why don't you just destroy the Inevitables?

OOKaizer: And spoil an awesome action sequence? Boring!
rampant

07-30-06, 12:21 AM		OORampant - I just wanted to level up.

OOKaizer - How does that work for us anyway?

OORampant - not a clue :D
cypher_zero

07-30-06, 01:31 AM		OOC: 1st off, I hate to sound uptight, but personally I don’t like the idea of the E.B.N.E.’s. This is of course just me and I’m not going to bash anybody for it. Like I said, I don’t like breaking the fourth wall and you won’t ever see me do it. 2nd, I usually do just let it slide, but Terrek’s personality actually started out as a highly exaggerated version of my own with some different twists. Much of the way he thinks and acts are based off of my own ideas of how I would react in whatever situation given his abilities; though as he develops I find that he diverts more and more away from me an into an entity of his own. 3rd, and this is kinda nit-picky, I don’t think I misrepresented Terra when Terrek called her a fool. That’s more his perception of things. Terrek is typically of the opinion that anyone who would openly trust another person so completely is a fool. This works contrary to my own belief that that is the foundation for true love; hence Terrek is (presently) incapable of such an emotion. 4th, as far as planning things in advance goes, I’m very flexible. I work more with general ideas that form into specifics when I write them; the same goes for how Terrek progresses as a character. I have a general idea of how I want him to develop, but nothing is laid in concrete till I actually put it down and post it. 5th, whenever I go to write someone else’s character I go back and re-read their wiki, as well as any of the more recent posts revolving around them. I do my best to not misrepresent other people’s char’s (unfortunately not all of them have wiki entries up *ahem*). I also make a habit to update the wiki for my char’s whenever I think something important happens that affects their outlook for the above reason – if you’re going to use my character, try to stick true to him and the way I’d write him. 6th, my style of writing is less humor and more mystery/gothic horror/action. Most of my attempts at humor have failed miserably so I just stick to what I know – writing an engaging story. That said, random hilarity inserted with Terrek only serves to draw away from what I’m trying to do. Have fun with Serene; leave Terrek to his dark and mysterious ways.

Final word: Sorry bout getting off on this tangent; I really had no intention of this whole schpeel. Hope I didn’t disrupt things too much; this is really a great bunch of people on here and I’d hate to be the cause for some heated argument over something as stupid as this. One of the things that I enjoy the most about this post is that everyone realizes it’s in good fun and there’s no real enmity here. Obviously I’m the biggest perpetrator against the peace here and for that I apologize. In defense of myself, it’s usually because I’m tired and only half-realize I might be sounding like an ***. On that note I’d just like to say one thing: I am the cheese. Thank you. Goodnight.
.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-30-06, 01:49 AM		OOC: I completely understand coming off in a way different than what you intend. Happens to me constantly. If it's any consolation, your explanation does help a great deal (for me at least) in understanding you and your characters POV. And I don't think you caused an argument, more of a discussion (big difference). I never considered you a "perpetrator against the peace", I just wasn't understanding where you were coming from on several points. I guess I misread your intentions when you asked us to leave Terrek to you. Sorry about the misunderstanding.

In regards to him, I felt better once you pointed out that Terrek was supposed to come off as a bastard. It wasn't just me. :D
cypher_zero

07-30-06, 01:55 AM		In regards to him, I felt better once you pointed out that Terrek was supposed to come off as a bastard. It wasn't just me. :D
:heehee
Well, I don't think I'm a bastard, but that is how Terrek is. Like I said, he's deviated from me a lot since I first made him.

EDIT: Oh and I just remembered that I did have a narrative reason as to why Terrek would be able to view Terra and Lisa. If I wasn't falling asleep on my keyboard, I'd remember it and tell you. As it is, it's getting hard to type and so time for me to retire. So... many... typos...
rampant

07-30-06, 02:11 AM		OOC: Plz guys focus, the story won't get much farther if you two don't post story stuff. Not that I don't enjoy your debates, I'm just impatient. :D You two are kind of in control of the major plots at this point.
------------------------------------------------

Marish - In exchange I get free scatching posts garunteed not the scratch back, and you guys won't raid my bird traps for seed for a whole week.

RP master (Ravager Pack Master) - Squeak.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-30-06, 10:10 AM		OOcat: Okay, people, no more dealings with Terrek.

Bunny: Fine, the god club bombed anyway.

OOcat: When did this happen?

Bunny: Jarlot starting insisting that he could join.

13: And he's got a legitimate reason: being a rock legend (i.e. Elvis) he's actually got powers over other people.

Bunny: And the first rule I made up was that Jarlot couldn't join.

OOcat: Ah, well, I'll just concentrate on Erk.

Erk: About time.

OOC: I've always thought of the E.B.N.E.s as just another character.
Gladius_Lucix

07-30-06, 11:00 AM		Liam attempts to sneak up on OOGladius.

OOGladius: I know what you're doing, and I know that Kanatash gave you the DM Breaker.

Liam: What? How did you know?

OOGladius: Part of being an E.B.N.E. is knowing what's going on. You remember how Kanatash was explaining the fourth wall? E.B.N.E.'s exist on the other side of this wall, controlling what happens here. If we didn't know what's going on, there's no way we could control everything as well.

Liam: Okay...

OOGladius: Just trust me. Unless it's being concealed by another E.B.N.E., there's nothing I don't know.

Liam: So, since it seems you control everything, what's going to happen if I use the DM Breaker on you?

Liam levels the weapon at OOGladius. OOGladius puts up his hands.

OOGladius: Let's not be hasty. I recommend either not firing at me, and going hunting for another E.B.N.E., or having Kanatash around, because I think he's the only one who will be in existance, and he can maintain the existance of at least one other person. Think about it for a while.

Liam: Alright. I'll give it some thought.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-30-06, 07:01 PM		OOC: FYI, I just got back from FINALLY seeing Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. This must be done. Don't worry, no spoilers in this. Unlike a certain other poster...*cough*Endless_Helix*cough*

IC:

Kithle: All right. Camp's shaping u-where's my Plaque?! I just had it, where did it go?!

*Does Darth Vader impression from Revenge of the Sith*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--------------
OOKaizer: You, sir, have earned this. The title of Magnificent Bastard.

Gore Verbinski: *sniff* I'm so happy... :weep: :D

OOC: Kithle's REALLY going to have to work for this one. Of course, I don't think he'll have too much of a problem.
rampant

07-30-06, 07:54 PM		Kithle - I built a camp to traumatize these kids and pull a bit of social darwinism what more do you people want.... - Eats Verbinski.- Seriously there are shoggoth in the gutters, Bears in the cafeteria, and i brought back the Awakened toilet for after mandatory chili night on which all other toilets will mysteriously be non-availiable. The archery range is the breakfast hall, and there are only so many bows.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-30-06, 07:58 PM		OOC: That's what I was talking about. As of right now, Verbinski is the bigger bastard because of that cliffhanger. But, if Kithle's past behavior is any indication, he'll have no problems reclaiming his title with the Camp.
Endless_Helix

07-30-06, 08:02 PM		OOC: I'm back from the ninth circle of deadline hell. Yeah. Fun times.
---
A crowd of kids waits on the airship dock in New Sharn. There are about fifty of the little demons, from all around the world. Aereni, Riedrans, Adarans, Drow, Even the occasional normal person. There may have even been an innocent standing there. The camera zooms around the crowd. It focuses on an angsty blonde boy wearing a skull covered robe. A halfling girl talking with a group of "popular" girls, laughing, a riedran boy looking angrily at a Kalashtar girl, a panther, a boy nervously scribbling on a piece of paper, finally resting back on the halfling girl who's now looking at the angsty boy as he scowled into a book. She shrugged and walked over,

Piffany: Hi! I'm Piffany d'Ghallanda! How do you do?

Boy: *jumps up, acting surprised * "d'Ghallanda?" "D-f-cking-GHALLANDA"?

Piffany: Err... yes?

Boy: Get out of my sight. Go gloat with your precious little friends, little-miss-i'm-so-dragonmarked.

Piffany: Whatever. Have a nice life, f-ckwad.

Boy: Yeah, I will, now- Hey, STOP THAT! HEY!

Piffany: But I'm not-

The boy runs right by her, shouting. She turns around looking at where he's headed. The riedran boy's fist draws the shadows as he prepares to spring at the Kalashtar girl. Her eyes glow a diquieting shade of purple and the air aorund her becomes a writhing mass of gnawing worms.

Riedran Boy: GAAAHH! Cooties! Get away!

The kalashtar tackles him before he can run, pins him to the floor of the dock. Mutters something to the pinned riedran and kisses him on the forehead. The riedran boy screams in pain. His forehead appears fine, except for the lip-shaped burn on it.

Boy: Dammit! Nemisis! You could've killed him!

Nemisis: He was an empty vessel, Robrand.

Robrand: Whatever. You just like tormenting them.

Nemisis: Heh, he'll have sweet dreams tonight... Wait!

Piffany: Hi, I'm Piffany d'Ghallanda, nice to meet you.

Nemisis: Please, call me Nemisis. You couldn't pronounce my given name. Incidently, you might want to get ready. Our destination has arrived.

A shadow looms over them, as the twisted hull of the Forgotten Freedom settles into the dock. Over the gangplank is a clumsily hand painted cardboard sign announcing "CAMP FREDOM"

Piffany: Oh. Oh dear.

Robrand: Indeed. It appears that they missed the second "e". Shameful.
---
Stats

Robrand Denieth Jr. male human Ftr2/ Necro3 Gives up Enchantment and Abjuration.

Piffany d'Ghallanda female halfling Cleric 3 with least mark of hospitality(purify food and drink)

Nemisis female kalashtar Monk 5/ Quori Nightmare 3
rampant

07-30-06, 08:05 PM		Kithle - Change of plans its chili or find your own food every meal, one (awakened) toilet, spliters everywhere people. Down grade from bows to knives, they want better they can make their own. Double the prices on the concession stand.

Squishy does happy dance.

Chalky chases Squishy.

--------------------------------

Satnak is standing outside the door to terrek's room.

Satnak - ... -raises hand to knock- ... -drops hand and turns back- ... not yet, ... soon, but not yet.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-30-06, 10:01 PM		Girl 1: Oh, he's so adorable!

Girl 2: Hey! I found him first!

Girl 1: No! He's mine! Get your own teddy bear!

Roosevelt: *whispers through gritted teeth* I will see you all dead before the day is out...

And now, in honor of Camp Freedom:

Roosevelts list of death traps of horrific vengeance!

1: Splinters. Lot's and lot's of splinters.

2: Even on the dining utensils.

3: Correction. ESPECIALLY on the dining utensils.

4: Pits of death in the hallways.

Roosevelt: Wait. What am I saying? We already have those.

5: MORE pits of death in the hallways.

6: Lot's of "shiny" things scattered randomly throughout the ship set to trigger various traps.

7: Spikes are always good.

8: As are poison darts.

9: Candy bars placed on giant mouse traps (thanks to Rei32491 for this)

10: Redirect hallways constantly.

OOC: Feel free to add more.
rampant

07-30-06, 10:29 PM		23. Do not hug the camp carpenter.

24. Unless you enjoy suffering.

23. Do not make fun of the captain's inability to count.

24. While he can hear you.

25. Poor performance can lead to your placement in the menu.

26. Assuming you don't earn a darwin award all on your own.

27. We have a quota, please if you must screw up, make spectacular.

28. That and we're too cheap to buy fireworks.

29. You may however purchase or build your own using the labs and/or squishy's booth.

30. You are outranked by everyone but the redshirts and other minions.

31. So feel free to take your lousy luck out on them.
----------------------------------

OOC: THese are a contniutation to the camp rules, not to the Roosevelt list. Oh and Cypher, Kaizer get typing i wanna see where this goes.
cypher_zero

07-31-06, 12:40 AM		OOC: Hey, just cause I suggested we make a camp rules list doesn't mean I actually intended to contribute... but I will anyways.

33. If you are named, you won't die.

34. If you aren't, you're pretty much doomed.

35. Just 'cause you have a name doesn't mean we won't subject you to hideous amounts of torture.

36. Be forewarned; some of the crew WILL attempt to eat your soul.

37. 'Cause it's been so long since they've had one that wasn't tainted by insanity.

38. If you aren't crazy yet, you will be.

39. If one of the ubers likes you, run.

40. If one of the ubers doesn't like you, run like hell.

41. Yes, the chili is mandatory.

42. If you don't want to eat it, find your own.

43. If it looks like food, it probably isn't.

44. If it doesn't look like food... well take your chances.

45. Don't feed the redshirts.

OOC: That's all I got for now. Hopefully tomorrow I can get some of the next part of the story done.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-31-06, 12:54 AM		46: Yes, the Redshirts count as food.

47: Why do you think they have the big target on their appropriately colored shirts?

48: You still have to kill them yourself.

49: You're lucky we're having that "kids eat free if they kill it themselves" deal as part of our affiliation with Dragonmeat Den.

50: It is not cheating for us to temporarily age you in order to make you ineligible for this deal.

51: Just because you have to kill the chili to eat it doesn't mean you get to eat free.

52: Besides, it's not our fault you made it mad after you paid for it...

53: The fact that we knew it would attack you before we gave it to you is beside the point.
rampant

07-31-06, 12:54 AM		46. If more than one uber decides to dislike you, update your will to include the Captain.

47. In fact you might want to do that anyway.

48. Those of you without names may puchase one from squishy.

49. Or by getting one of the crew to name you.

37503758907402374029. What did we say about the captain and counting?
-----------
OOC: Ahh the memories.
cypher_zero

07-31-06, 01:02 AM		59. You may on occasion be called upon to pilliage and plunder.

60. No we don't care if it's your own house, you still have to do it.

61. Any passes made at any crew members will result in disembowelment.

62. In this instance, they unamed campers are lucky; they'll just die.

63. Named campers will live... in agony.
rampant

07-31-06, 01:15 AM		64. Reverse is also true, anyone making passes at the campers (everyone glare at ketler),... well lets just say those knives aren't just for eating and fletchery.

65. Hitting on Jeala Jarlot will result in horrible agonizing field trips to Barney world.

66. For the whole camp.

67. We will then reveal the culprit.

68. And cheer as the moron gets choked with purple dinosaur intestines.

Jarlot - ...Wait a minute, John get ready, Free keelhaul fridays. These kids might actually fear you.
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 01:38 AM		After a fair bit of searching, Liam finally hunts down Kanatash in the lower decks.

Liam: Excuse me, Kanatash, I have something I needed to talk to you about.

Kanatash: Hm? Did you manage to bend the spoon already?

Liam: No, I’m afraid not. However there is something else I need to discuss with you. It seems to me if I were to use the DM Breaker on the controlling entity he would no longer define my existence so I would cease to exist and be unable to examine him. This seems to be a bit of a flaw in your plan.

Kanatash: Er… ugh… Yes, yes precisely. I see that you passed my test by spotting that difficulty. Very impressive.

OOCrystalforged: Alright, I’m just going to call bull**** on that before you can go any farther. You weren’t testing him, you just forgot and now you won’t own up to it.

Kanatash: ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutupSHUTUP. Do you ALWAYS have to steal my thunder like that? Seriously, it’s really annoying.

OOCrystalforged: No, but’s pretty fun.

Liam: (clears his throat) Ahem, I was wondering perhaps if you, Kanatash, could come with me when I use the weapon. If I remember correctly you are able to continue existing when this weapon is used and I hoped you could allow me to do the same.

Kanatash: I don’t know, I’m going to be pretty busy for a while here with Camp Forgotten Freedom finally starting up. I almost feel sorry for those little bastards. Almost.

OOCrystalforged: Ooooh, the great impressive Kanatash. Gonna prove how evil and insane you are by messing with a bunch of half-pints. That’s simply death defying.

Kanatash: You know I’m this close to-

OOCrystalforged: (cutting him off) –good to see you still have some balls. I always figured Caralot took them with her when she left.

Kanatash: THAT’S IT! (turns to Liam) Excuse me, I need to deal with something. (concentrates for a moment before vanishing)
I_AM_KANATASH

07-31-06, 01:39 AM		ALRIGHT NANCY BOY! I’ve taken about enough **** from you and now you’re going to get it! You’re about to receive a beating like never before!
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 01:40 AM		Bring it on ghost boy. I’m about to knock your see through *** into the next time zone!

(scuffle ensues)
I_AM_KANATASH

07-31-06, 01:41 AM		Shortly after
(somewhat disheveled) That learned you. Now shut your trap.

Liam: Ugh…

Of course, now where were we Liam-
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 01:42 AM		(sporting a black eye and cutting in) You hit like a girl!
I_AM_KANATASH

07-31-06, 01:43 AM		AAAAUUUURRRGGGG! YOU DIE NOW!

(attempts to claw OOCrystalforge’s eyes out)
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 01:45 AM		Oh yeah! Now YOU’RE gonna get it Bobby!

(throws him off and begins punching Kanatash in the face)
I_AM_KANATASH

07-31-06, 01:46 AM		Several minutes later
(wiping blood from his lip) Bastard…

Liam: Is it over?

Yeah, he’s paid his price.

Liam: Hey, I was-
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 01:48 AM		(lunging at Kanatash) THE PRICE IS WRONG *****!

(scuffle continues)
I_AM_KANATASH

07-31-06, 01:49 AM		(pins OOCrystalforged and pulls a knife) I’m gonna stick you like the pig you are!

Liam: (interupting) HEY GUYS! (both turn to face him) Sorry to interrupt this exchange but I’m kinda looking for some help here!

Sure, sure. I’ll be along in an hour or so when we’ve resolved this. Now shoo, I have some unfinished business.

(Liam exits shaking his head)

(turning back to OOCrystalforged with a malevolent grin) Now where were we?
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 01:51 AM		I was about to do THIS! (grabs the knife from OOKanatash and manages to reverse the pin) Now this is what I call wrestling with an idea! :rimshot:
I_AM_KANATASH

07-31-06, 01:55 AM		:doh: Where’s the inevitables when you need them?
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 01:58 AM		(holding the knife to OOKanatash’s throat) Those will make very interesting last words. (pauses) …you know, I was just thinking, what were we fighting about in the first place?
I_AM_KANATASH

07-31-06, 01:59 AM		(pauses) You know I don’t remember.
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 02:00 AM		(getting up and tossing the knife away before offering OOKanatash a hand up) Well, are we still on for D&D tomorrow then?
I_AM_KANATASH

07-31-06, 02:01 AM		(shrugs) Sure, no problem. See you then buddy, I had better go find Liam for now.
Crystalforged

07-31-06, 02:03 AM		Sweet. Just don’t forget your dice this time, I don’t like loaning mine out.



OOC: The ball's back in your court Gladius.
rampant

07-31-06, 02:06 AM		:doh: Where’s the inevitables when you need them?

I am SPAMMAR Inevitable of unecesary posting, I seek-Bla4rg

OORampant (in Mewtwo suite with superscope) - Eat hot plasma.
Kaizer_Ryu

07-31-06, 03:10 AM		OOKaizer: Oi!

OOCrystalforged: Yes?

Kanatash: What now?

OOKaizer: I don't mean to nit-pick, but...next time you two get into a discussion/argument/fight/what have you, could you pick an account and stick with it? At least for more than three lines?

OOCrystalforged: What's the fun in that?

Kanatash: I wanna use my account...

OOKaizer: Well, despite how funny it is, if you keep it up, we'll hit 300 pages before September. We're trying to get new posters. Something like that is rather intimidating...

OOCrystalforged: We'll consider it.

Kanatash: But, since you're here...I must ask. *pulls out the DM Breaker* What would I get out of you? :devil:

OOKaizer: I wouldn't. I'm a huge fan of cats.

Kanatash's eyes glaze over and he begins compulsively brushing himself off.

Kanatash: No...no...the fur...oh GODS, THE FUR!! WHY WON'T IT COME OFF!!!! *runs away screaming*

OOCrystalforged: Well done, Grasshopper.

OOKaizer: :D
urial angel of death

07-31-06, 07:13 AM		Several children in camp FF are looking at a strangely shiny poster. It states that their will be games in the lowwer decks for all to partake.
SilvercatMoonpaw

07-31-06, 07:27 AM		NJ26: What is taking that jerk so long?

Erk: I already said he has a focus problem. It takes him two minutes to………(looks around)…………

NJ26: Yeah, I know, when did we end up at this manga convention?



Erk: I think we're here.

NJ26: Well…:confused:…:bored:…that was fast.

Erk: The [i]advantage of having a focus problem.

NJ26: So, then where's Jaela?
******
Elsewhere…

Scary-looking guy: We have you now, Shining Princess!

Jaela (tied up and gagged): *mrph!*

OOcat (not scary guy): Well I'm sorry, but you try coming up with a magical girl name that doesn't sound like you just made it up.

OOC: What's Jaela's magical girl name and power?
Kaizer_Ryu

07-31-06, 10:54 AM		OOC: What's Jaela's magical girl name and power?Sakura, and originally posted as:

"The embodiment of every Shoujo Manga cliche in the universe with her habit being to revert from insipid cuteness to teen valley drama to magical girl superheroine at the drop of a hat being exceptionally off putting."
Gladius_Lucix

07-31-06, 11:46 AM		OOGladius is wandering around, looking for Liam, when a redshirt comes up to him and bows.

Redshirt: Oh, great Entity, how may I serve thee?

OOGladius: What are you talking about? Who are you?

Redshirt: I am your humble servant, Darian Grister. I seek only to serve you.

OOGladius: I'm still confused. Why do you want to serve me?

Darian: I have seen your power, Entity, and I know it to be more than that of the gods. You, great Entity, and your compatriots, are the true rulers of this world.

OOGladius: Um... I gotta go do Ruler-type things. I'll talk to you later.

OOGladius disappears with a poof.

Darian: Truly, the E.B.N.E.'s are powerful.

--------------

Darian Saito, Human Rogue 3/Cleric 1

Darian came aboard as any other redshirt, as someone who thought that the chaos of the Forgotten Freedom would be better than what the Law would do to him. Since then, after observing the power of the E.B.N.E.'s, Darian has devoted himself, body and soul, to their service, believing (partially correctly) that they are the creators and rulers of the world.

He has plans to start a Church devoted to the E.B.N.E.'s, and is utterly disrespectful to anyone that he believes does not have the "favor of the Entities."

(I think I would be amused to see him bumping heads with Terrek. :D )
cypher_zero

07-31-06, 12:02 PM		Terrek: Unknowns are what end your life.

Terra: You must have a very drab existence if that’s what you think.

Terrek looks away for a moment and his eyes glaze over in thought.

Terrek: I…. I wasn’t always the man you see before you, but it was the lessons that I learned then that allowed me to become what I am now.

Terra: So what are you?

Terrek: Would that I knew. (pause) Come, I’m sure you’re anxious to see more than just the operating table in my lab. Hmm… have you dealt with subjective gravity before?

Terra: Umm….

Terrek: Down is wherever you believe it is. Failing that, it’s wherever you’re standing at the time. The “ceiling” is directly above us. That’s where Lisa and Serene are. You can either fly up there and land to let gravity take hold or you can just will the “ceiling” to be down, like this.

As he speaks his feet lift off the ground and he begins falling “up.” As he nears the ceiling he flips and lands on his feet. Terra watches for a moment, shakes her head, then spreads her wings and flies up to join him. She flips and lands on her feet and immediately doubles over, as though about to retch. Terrek looks down at her and after a moment she straightens.

Terrek: Hmm… I forgot that it can be… uncomfortable the first time. Perhaps we should have walked.

Terra glares at him for a moment, but says nothing.

Terrek: Shall we continue then? I believe that Lisa and Serene are over here…
.
rampant

07-31-06, 09:02 PM		Lisa - Are you okay?

Serene - Oh my, should I get a bowl?

Terra - No, its nothing compared to thosed thrice-damned Skifes.

Lisa - Oh those what was so bad about...

Terra - I'm a druid and a psion the resonance was dancing around on both frequencies. To a druid its like rocks and earth moving way too fast, sort of a constant quake in the area. To a psychic its like a buzzing behind your neck.

Lisa - All I felt was a slight trembling in the air.

Terrek - Whatever these "skifes" are it sounds like they have different effects based on the type and amount of mystical power one posseses.

Serene - skife.. Skife...Skifes!, oh I remember now Satnak said something about Skife racers. Her friend Illis is supposed to be some sort of "Skife Master". They ride charged air currents from the Crystal chutes around her home and some can use even normal currents to surf in the sky, its somehow different from flying, but she hasn't been able to explain how. THough she did invite me to ride with her some day.

Terra - She's a racer?

Serene - No, but she says almost all the students there know how to do basic stuff with them.

Terra -... Wait a minute who are you and why did Satnak tell you all this.

Terrek - This is my Daughter Serene.

Lisa - She's Satnak's... girlfriend?

Serene - Significant other, but hopefully soon.
-------------------

Kithle - Welcome to the Grand opening of Camp Forgotten Freedom. As a special gift this year only the first knife is free. Better get them quick, there are only enough for every 5 out of 6 of you. (i.h.h. what they don't know is only 5 out of 6 will need them, the others have other methods or smuggled weapons in already, to those of you listening in good job, be warned my defenses get nastier each time.)
----------------
OOC: Post already people I want to see her reaction.
cypher_zero

07-31-06, 11:32 PM		OOC: I'm going to let Kaizer field this next part.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-01-06, 12:07 AM		OOC: I'm going to let Kaizer field this next part.OOC: *anime sweatdrop* Oh. I was wondering, but wasn't sure if you wanted me to continue or not. Guess that answers that question...

IC:

Terra: :twitch: :blink:

Lisa: Uh...honey? *waves her hand in front of Terra's face*

Terra: :blink:

Serene: Oh, dear. I think we broke her.

Lisa: Hello...? *again with the hand*

Terra: ...huh? Oh, sorry. I could have sworn you all just said Satnak was in what amounts to a romantic relationship.

Terrek: We did.

Terra: :twitch: *shakes her head* ...since when?

Serene: Just a short while after you two left.

Terra: :mymy: :( And we're missing it?

Serene: Ok, the fact that that reaction was almost identical to Lisa's scares me a little.

Lisa: :D You may notice that more often if you pay attention.

Terrek: Can I assume by your reaction to me having a daughter that you heard that as well?

Terra: Yeah. But, I'm really having a hard time believing you two are related. She doesn't look a thing like you.

Terrek: I'm a geneticist. I created Serene pretty much as you see her now.

Terra: So...less biological father and more father figure?

Serene: Yes and no. He's not my father in the traditional sense, but I do share many of his genes.

Lisa: Since when is anything associated with the Forgotten Freedom traditional?
Crystalforged

08-01-06, 12:35 AM		On a nearby bulletin board at Camp


Counselor: Kanatash

Classes:
- Planar Dynamics: Bonus Field Trip! (OOC: guess which plane will be the focus)
- Psionics: Exploring the Mind (OOC: cuz someone needed to do it)
- Physiology of the Impossible: Aberration Anatomy (OOC: think high school anatomy except replace the frogs with the dread spawn of Cthulu)
- Psychological Warfare and Torture (OOC: need I elaborate? ;) )



OOC: Say Endless_Helix, I was just wondering you have anything in particualar in mind for the personalities of those kids you statted out? If you do it's not a big deal but I just wanted to check if I could just use them before I invented some new ones.
rampant

08-01-06, 12:47 AM		Counselor - Chalky
Classes
Hunting - melee style
Art
101 illegal uses for chalk

Camp Counselor - Kithle
Classes
Philosophy
History
Politics
Ethics (yeah right :rolleyes: )

Counselor - Satnak
Classes
Hunting - Free-for-all style
Glaring
Pugilism
Astral constructs 101 and 102
Game Theory

Counselor - Serene
Classes
Music
Healing 101
Theatre
Dance
Etiquette

Chalky's hunting class:

Chalky - Ok see those elk there in the clearing, you skull boy set the skeleton to come at them from down wind, you two quori stop it with the pda and circle round to the left when the skeleton scares them towards you use those fists to break as many legs as possible, no psi, the rest close in on the injured ones with your knives.

Kithle's Ethics Class

Kithle - Someone you don't like is in mortal peril and helping costs you little to nothing?

Piffany - Like, leave'em to rot the lousy *****.

Kithle - Hardly save their ass then take them for all their worth.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-01-06, 12:59 AM		On another bulletin below the others, more classes are scrawled in what looks like blood:

Counselor: Smig

Classes:
- Poison and Venom: What's the difference? With Live (albeit temporarily) Demonstrations!
- Various Diseases and what they do
- Why cities are crimes against nature
- How to taint the well and not get caught
- Three easy ways to destroy the abomination that is technology
- How to eradicate civilization as we know it

Smig: *wringing his hands evilly* Phase 1 of my evil plan begins...

Smig's evil plan:

Phase 1: Convert the children to my cause.
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: DESTROY ALL OF CIVILIZATION! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

OOC: I think Smig's gotten more use in the last 10 pages or so than in the previous 60. Even if I'm the only one using him. Oh, well. Maybe he'll kill me faster than the rest of you out of gratitude. ;)
Gladius_Lucix

08-01-06, 01:11 AM		Liam is present at the welcome speech, looking out over the poor souls that OOGladius's random comment doomed to the Forgotten Freedom. As his gaze falls on one of them, his jaw drops. After Kithle finishes, Liam walks into the crowd, looking for the person he saw.

Liam: Piffany? Is that you?

Piffany: Liam? What's my favorite brother doing here?

Liam: Doing some research for my doctorate from Morgrave. You're here for camp?

Piffany: Yep! Looks like it's going to be lots of fun!

Liam: It should be. I've got to get going. I have some stuff to get ready for the camp. I'll see you around.

Piffany: Okay. See ya!

Liam calmly strolls off until he's out of sight, then dashes back to his cabin.

Liam: :mad: OOGladius! Where are you?

OOGladius: I'm right here. What do you want?

Liam: :mad: I was against this camp idea from the beginning, but now it's gone too far.

OOGladius: What?

Liam: :mad: My sister is out there!

OOGladius: I can truthfully say that it's not my fault that she's there. That was another Entity. Specifically, the same one that took my idea of a camp and ran with it.

Liam: :mad: Oh, but I can blame you for something. I can blame you for making her my sister, can't I?

OOGladius: (uneasily) Well, in a way, yes, but in another way, she's always been your sister. I just didn't know that she existed until the other Entity brought her into it.

Liam: :mad: And when you saw another Ghallandha heir, you just HAD to mess with me, didn't you. Didn't you!?

OOGladius: I take it that you've accepted that the Fourth Wall is broken, that you know your true existance, and that of the ship?

Liam: Yes.

OOGladius: Then why do you care about something that amounts to a collection of seemingly random ones and zeros?

Liam: :rant: Because, from my side of the wall, she's not a something, she's not ones and zeros. She's my Sister, gods d:censored: you!

OOGladius smiles.

Liam: :confused: Why are you smiling?

OOGladius: :) Because I was hoping you'd react like that.

Liam: :confused: Huh?

OOGladius: I admit, I did decide that she should be your sister for plot advancement reasons. I also admit that I expected that you would react like that, because, no matter how much time you spend here, no matter how much you learn, I know you'll be a good person, who cares about his family.

Liam: Um... Thank you?

OOGladius: You're welcome. Now, since I see you have the DM Breaker, I'll talk to you later. Toodles!

Liam: Wait!

FRAZZLE!

OOGladius: Oh Sh-
cypher_zero

08-01-06, 01:17 AM		Terrek: Not since I’ve been observing the ship at the very least. Now could we move on? My realm is vast and I assure you there are far more interesting things than my ceiling. Oh, and dinner should be ready right about now. Shall we?

Terrek leads them through the vast castle to the dining hall. The sights are numerous, though Terrek moves quickly, hardly allowing time to take any of it in. The most apparent feature though, one prevalent in all the rooms is that wall, ceiling and floor are all furnished. Many of the rooms are not even cubic, but circular, octagonal or any number of strange shapes. The dining hall itself is set up in a more traditional style with the long table dominating the room. It appears as a mix of a hundred different woods all blending into one another seamlessly shifting depending on how it’s viewed and the light from the candles dance on it at any one moment. It could easily seat ten, but places are made for only four at the near end.

In the shadows the servants waited. They seemed to almost effortlessly blend in to the shadows surrounding them, their grey skin lending it self to stealth with dress to match. They stood silently with their eyes downcast waiting for seats to be taken.

Terrek moved to the head of the table and stood, gesturing to the empty chairs to his left for Terra and Lisa while Serene moved to the right hand side. Terrek waited as they all took their places then sat slowly. Immediately, as if on cue, the servants moved, bringing forth lavish silver trays laden with delicacies the likes of which the couple had never seen. The servants completed their task in moments and only one remained, holding a bottle of deep red wine. He poured first to Terrek then Terra, Lisa, and finally Serene taking time and care to pour slowly and handle each glass with care. He too then moved into the shadows, almost invisible.

Lisa: Wow…

Terrek: They are quite good aren’t they? The best servants are neither seen nor heard in their duties. To that end, these are the best in all of existence. To the people of my realm, it’s an honor to serve in the palace. Now let us eat. I’m certain you’re hungry after bouncing around the planes for so long, and I’d much like to hear of your travels; and I believe you’ve some questions for me?

OOC: All yours Kaizer; ask away. I’ll give Terrek’s replies.

.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-01-06, 01:25 AM		Counselor: :coolcthul

Classes:
- The best dealers
- Terminology
- World Peace
- Growing your own
- Avoiding the Feds
- The Munchies
- Bad trips and what to do about them
- Why we should all just get along
- Emo kid single tears and you
I_AM_KANATASH

08-01-06, 01:29 AM		OOGladius: You're welcome. Now, since I see you have the DM Breaker, I'll talk to you later. Toodles!

Liam: Wait!

FRAZZLE!

OOGladius: Oh Sh-

I'm glad to see that you took my offer.

Liam: Oh, Kanatash. Hello.

Yes, hello, greetings, salutations, all that. Now, let's get on with this.

Liam: Alright. Begin Recording.

(A bell chimes in the background.)

Quickly, I haven't got all day.

Liam: Subject appears to be a human male, average height, somewhat overweight. Other than the mental trauma from the DM Breaker, he appears to be in good health. He appears in no way to spectacular or different from any other human. Kanatash, any idea on what I should do next?

Finish up and leave me alone?

Liam: You're not that eager to help me.

Never said I would be.

Liam: Well, I guess a cursory physical examination will have to do. A last check with the Weir/Insan scanner and I'll be done.

(Liam waves the device slowly over OOGladius's inert form.)

Liam: Huh.

What?

Liam: The Weir/Insan seems to be out of phase from this universe. It's registering, and, at the same time, not registering. Sort of like when Pun-Pun came to visit.

Interesting. Could it be because he's not a native of Eberron?

Liam: Could be. I don't know. Okay, well thanks for your help, Kanatash.

See you around.

Liam: Stop Recording.
cypher_zero

08-01-06, 01:36 AM		Councler: Serene

Classes:
Singing
Dance
Instrumentals
Wooing that Special Someone
Dealing With an Over-Powered Lover

OOC: Just as a side note here, don't forget that Serene is insanely beautiful. Just thinking of the effects of her on the typical, hormonally challenged male camper. :smirk:

EDIT: And perhaps her over-protective girlfriend...

.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-01-06, 01:38 AM		OOC: Ok, let's see. Again with the questions that I thought I had, but can't think of right now...

OK, here's a couple. You can fit them in with the dialogue. I may come up with more after the responses.
1: Why do people/creatures/things/whatever come there?
2: How do they even know to come there?
3: Why did he create this place?
4: Why does he dilute power if the inhabitants are happy?
5: Most importantly, why did he invite them (Terra and Lisa)?
Gladius_Lucix

08-01-06, 01:49 AM		OOGladius: -it.

Liam: You're awake? That was quick.

OOGladius: In the strictest sense, you didn't exist for the time between Kanatash leaving and me waking up, so of course it was quick.

Liam: That's like saying that nothing happens in the space between panels in comics.

OOGladius: You do have a point. So, how much did you get?

Liam: Nothing that I couldn't have gotten while you were awake. Noticed that the Weir/Insan readings of Entities were similar to that of Pun-Pun. I don't know why I hadn't noticed that before.

OOGladius: Probably because you never looked at the scanner screen while an entity was on board.

Liam: The simplest explanation is usually the best. Well, I gotta go post my activity list with the rest of them.

OOGladius: See ya.

OOGladius disappears with a ping as Liam walks out the door.

--------------

Counselor: Liam

Classes
Advanced Magi. Sci.
Applied Artifice.
Field Study: The Entities.
(scrawled in: ) The Entities are to be worshipped, not studied!
Staying sane and Staying alive.
Open Computer Lab.
Adventure Games: Paychecks and Paperwork.

--------------

OOC: Adventure games is the general term used at my camp (a science camp, specifically) for playing D&D, so I figured I'd throw in the in game parallel I'd heard of.
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-01-06, 05:44 AM		Naz'roth:
Planar anatomy and Planar studies
Tactics
Forgecraft
Litriture

Tara:
The Anataomy of the Unliving
Necromancy
Arcane studies
Religious studies: what the cults DIDNT tell you

Sa'vor:
The Art of Combat
Eldritch studies: drawing on your Inner Hatred
Draconic studies
Draconic anatomy

IC:
Naz'roth stands before a lecturn, he scowls at the gathered Children.

Naz'roth: I am Naz'roth of legion ,Daemon Lord, Progienator of Vampire Kind, and Master Magesmith but you may call me Naz'roth. it will save time in your perhaps short time here. any questions before i continue?

random Child: Whats with the feathered wings? i thought fiends had bat wings?

Naz'roth: *slight scowl* yes, Fiends usualy have bat wings. To tell you the truth i am an Ex-Angel who's turned his back on the light. *flexes his black feathered wings* now, what do you know of the Planar beings named Fiends?

Another random child: *with hand up* they are the physical manifestation of evil in the multiverse.

Naz'roth: true. anything else? *no hands* very well. Fiends are usualy divided into three catagories Devils, Demons and Yugoloths. but of course there are many other catagories. One many millienia ago the Fiends ruled this plane and all other races where their slaves. there where many ranks in the hierarcy of that time the highest of which where (in highest to lowest) Daemon Lord, Rajah, Daemon, Duke and so on. now i want you to write down EVERYTHING i've told you, it may yet save your life.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-01-06, 07:54 AM		NJ26: So now we've lost Jaela. That's…………is that a bad thing?

Death Paper: It's worse than that. (shows off an area where Erk has scribbled something)

Note: Sorry guys, my world is being developed at the moment and I'm needed. You should be fine without me.

NJ26: :mad: I think I'm going to throttle my E.B.N.E.

Just then there is a scream from the crowd, and people started stampeding for the exits.

Death Paper: Hey! (stamp) HEY! (stomp) :headexplo STOP TRAMPLING—(comically flattened)……Ow……What's going on out there?

NJ26 leaps up onto a convention table to see over the crowd.

NJ26: :confused: There's a pair of Quori trashing the manga?
urial angel of death

08-01-06, 10:13 AM		Squishy:

Psycology
economics
statistics
slave ownership
public speaking

Volrath:

Creature crafting
religious studies: elder gods
cooking: the other other white meat
sex ed (P/Y/R provides help on the "demonstrations")
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-01-06, 11:09 AM		Volrath:
sex ed
Silver: HEY! That's my department!

OOcat: No, your department is adolescent sex myths.

Silver: Oh…right…carry on.
cypher_zero

08-01-06, 03:39 PM		...
cypher_zero

08-01-06, 03:49 PM		1: Why do people/creatures/things/whatever come there?
2: How do they even know to come there?
3: Why did he create this place?
4: Why does he dilute power if the inhabitants are happy?
5: Most importantly, why did he invite them (Terra and Lisa)?
Terra: So tell us about this place; I mean we haven’t seen much of it, but Sa’vor mentioned you saying it was a utopia? And how did you create it? And how do people get here? We were only able to get in cause you let us, so… how do people even know to come here?

Terrek: Ah. All the questions that are one question really; what is this place? The answer is not quite so simple as the question, but answers rarely are. To start, I’ll give you a little history. I didn’t create this place; I… liberated it.

Lisa: You stole it?

Terrek: Please; do you honestly think I’d resort to petty theft? No, I had to kill for it. This place was once under the rule of the demon lord Ther’nen. She was a tyrant. sHe did many great things, but was a tyrant none the less. The wine that sits in the glasses before you was one of those great things. The vineyards here produce grapes unlike any other, so much so that our wine is widely regarded by wine tasters as one of, if not the best. However, to man the vineyards she forced countless beings into slavery and worked them to the death. I came here in my endless pursuit for perfection after hearing rumors of the beauty of the denizens. These denizens it turns out were succubi but I didn’t learn that till long after I had arrived.
This place was more than just a huge winery; it was a paradise. The architecture was astounding, the people beautiful, the wine superb, and the drugs pure. It was a debauchery of sin and excess. The wildest desires could be fulfilled in moments and last for days. Naturally, everything comes with a price.
The gates of the realm were open to all and naturally countless mortals entered them. The price I spoke of was of course your soul. Ther’nen used mortal souls to fuel her own power over the beings here and to rise to even greater power. I was in my youth when I first ventured here and so fell prey to the delights of the place, even abandoning my quest for perfection for a time. It was here that I acquired my Rhapsody of Pain.
Despite my youth I was still among the most powerful beings here and so drew the attention of Ther’nen herself. I became her consort for a time and eventually she sought to devour my soul and make my power her own. She almost succeeded. I was able to break free from her, but she’d shattered my soul, leaving me weak.
I don’t know what foul god appeared to me; I believe it was the Keeper himself; but he offered a way to survive and exact revenge. At this point I was fading away to nothing; my powers depleted and my spirit broken; so I took it. He infused in me the power to replenish my soul with that of others and steal their powers away from them in the process. I began systematically hunting down all the powerful demons of the realm and slaying them, gaining new heights of power with every soul I devoured.
This of course drew Ther’nen’s attention. She began hunting me down but I kept slaying her lords. The slaves of the fields heard of me, heard of the swath of blood I was making across the realm and believed me to be their savior. When I was battered and bruised, they helped me. When I was hiding from Ther’nen, they sheltered me. At times I would join them in the fields, to lay low, or to slay one of the slave masters. Before long I was known as the savior and the demons whispered my name in fear. Ther’nen was slowly losing control over her realm with each life I took. Eventually I confronted her.
We fought for days, and ultimately, she bested me. I lay there battered and broken upon the ground having expended the last of my strength. She moved to take the rest of my soul, a prize she now coveted, believing that it was the key to holding her realm. I remember she nealt down bleeding and picked me up by my face. Countless wounds marred her once perfect skin but her lips were as flawless as ever. She raised my head to hers and kissed me deeply, as she had when she’d first tried to drain me of my soul. I knew in that instant that I was doomed, but nothing happened. She tried it thrice more, but to no avail, I was protected. She made to drop me in the dirt again and perhaps to simply take my life if she couldn’t have my soul but I found the last vestiges of my strength within me and I ripped her throat out with my teeth…

OOC: To be continued! Kaizer, if you want to post their reaction feel free otherwise I’ll just have Terrek pick up where he left off.
.
rampant

08-01-06, 05:41 PM		Serene - oh my :eek: :yuck: I think I'm needed elsewhere.
-exit-

Terrek - Its difficult sometimes to remember how sensitive she is.

Terra - She's going out with Satnak?

Lisa - ...
Kaizer_Ryu

08-01-06, 09:00 PM		OOC: I think I'll hold off on their reactions till I hear more. I have an idea of what they would say, but I also know they wouldn't rush to judge until they saw more of what life was like there. However, if my initial impression is accurate, they'll still say the same thing...
cypher_zero

08-01-06, 09:20 PM		OOC: Ok, see, you can't say things like that. Now you've piqued my curiosity d*mm*t.
.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-01-06, 09:51 PM		Ketler runs down the halls, screaming.

Kelter: CARNIVOROUS WAFFLE IRONS!

There is the rappid sound of many *clap, clap* behind him.

OOC: If you want to know where this joke came from, click here (http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1300/fv01297.htm) and then click Next.
luna18moon

08-01-06, 11:03 PM		The squirrels and Slaypaw and Fluffy stand on opposite sides of the ship. Each is waiting for the other to make a move.
Suddenly, Marish steps out from among the ranks of squirrels. She holds a rapier, one which seems to have an unusually sharp edge.
Slaypaw: Look! Marish!
She takes a bottle of shampoo out of the Lunchbox, and grins.
Marish: :eek: :shocked: :OMG! :gah: :twitch: :surrender
Slaypaw ties her up, and Fluffy helps Slaypaw carry her off deck.
Squirrels: :confused:
Slaypaw sticks her head out of the doorway.
Slaypaw: We'll be back for YOU later.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-01-06, 11:32 PM		Marish: :eek: :shocked: :OMG! :gah: :twitch: :surrender OOC: But...Marish likes being pretty...that includes personal hygene...I'm confused as to why she's upset about it. Though I could get her back in one fell swoop, I'll let it go. More fun for later. Plus, now Cuddles will want a piece of them. No one messes with his booty (Marish insists on this pet name, pun intended).
luna18moon

08-01-06, 11:39 PM		1. Just because she likes being pretty doesn't mean she doesn't hate baths. She is part cat, after all.
2. Slaypaw and Fluffy know the consequences, and they're not planning to hold her for too long. She's a hostage to obtain another hostage.
Soon Operation C.A.T. will be complete! Unless Norbaz or Andrea refuse to cooperate... :plotting: :evillaugh
rampant

08-01-06, 11:40 PM		Serene - Terrek is no true-warrior he is a mage, if he did things like that I can't imagine what Satnak has seen and done.
--------------------

Satnak - Now is the-

knockknockknock

Serene - Satnak we need to talk.

Satnak - (i.h.h. I know what this means :weep: )
-opens door-

Serene - How many people have you killed? :(

Satnak - ...I don't know. There was Ketty, then Toris, then it gets hazy, i know i slaughtered alot of abberattions when Volrath tried to take the ship. Then there were the C'tan that kidnapped Terra. THen the shadow fiends when they made their bid on Terra. Hundreds of Rakshasa died when Ariajni killed Brianna. There was Pun-Pun of course, but you knew about that.

Serene - You didn't actually kill him, though.

Satnak - Left him helpless near the FF, its the same thing.

Serene - ...

------------------------
OOC: Cypher you want her response or should I?
Kaizer_Ryu

08-01-06, 11:59 PM		Then there were the C'tan that kidnapped Terra.I think you mean't Slip. :)

OOC: Cypher you want her response or should I? :eek: Noooooooo!!!!! Don't side track him!

Oh! New question. If he's not the one who created that plane, why does it respond to his will?
rampant

08-02-06, 12:17 AM		OOC: Considering her emotional state, fear of losing Serene, I'm not gonna call her on it... I like breathing unassisted. As for Side tracking Cypher I'm just mean. :D Where do you think Kithle gets it?
cypher_zero

08-02-06, 12:18 AM		:eek: Noooooooo!!!!! Don't side track him!

Aww, c'mon! I can multi-tas... oooOOOooo, shiny!!
Kaizer_Ryu

08-02-06, 12:26 AM		OOC: Considering her emotional state, fear of losing Serene, I'm not gonna call her on it... I like breathing unassisted. :D Wonderful sidestep. Well played. :clap:

As for Side tracking Cypher I'm just mean. :D Where do you think Kithle gets it?Fair enough. But I think this calls for a new Inevitable...

IC:

Redirectus: I shall pass judgement on all who hijack plotlines and side track posters! Feel my wrath, puny mort-*KFRAZZAP*

Redirectus melts as a ball of white hot plazma strikes him.

OORampant: *as Mewtwo* Ah, my shiny little chunks of XP, you try so hard...

Aww, c'mon! I can multi-tas... oooOOOooo, shiny!! :heehee
cypher_zero

08-02-06, 01:29 AM		OOC: For those of you curious as to what I get up to when I'm not posting: Awesomeness (http://bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=92736)

Also, it occured to me that there may be people out there that just read this post without contributing. If you're out there, would you just let us know (if nobody replies I'm going to feel really stupid.)? Just curious is all.
rampant

08-02-06, 01:37 AM		OOC: You never answered the question cypher :mad:
--------------------
Riding a sled pulled by carnivorous waffle irons through camp

Kithle - Jingle Bells, Jarlot smells/Norbaz laid an egg
Our airship lost the keel/But no redshirts got away hey!
cypher_zero

08-02-06, 01:46 AM		OOC: Sorry, I was sidetracked. :P Why don't you field her response. As Kaizer pointed out, I've still gotta do the next bit with Terrek and them.
rampant

08-02-06, 02:53 AM		Serene - ...

Satnak - SAY SOMETHING! :weep:

Serene - :( I don't understand how people can do that to each other.

Satnak - That makes you a very special person...but i do understand it, its a need to protect those around you. There are forces out there that will think nothing of crimes that make the worst massacres of the wars look like a clean fight. I am a Borisheel, I am the Breaker Prime, I am not going to let anything threaten you or anyone else I care about. I won't lie, I can't promise not to kill anymore, I'm not that good a fighter (I don't think even Levy is that good). I have much blood on my hands and there will be more, but I can not stand by while my friends get hurt. I'm sorry I understand if you don't want anything to do with me. :(

Serene - Satnak,... nothing will ever make me want to leave you. I don't understand, I don't think I ever will.

Satnak - I hope not.

Serene - But you were protecting yourself and those around you, I can't blame you for that.

Satnak - Not quite, What I did to Toris was murder, I hunted him down and Killed him slowly in vengeance for turning my sister againt me.

Serene - ... Everyone does things they're not proud of. I want to be with you Satnak, I just need to know what I'm getting into and that you won't try to hide it from me.

Satnak - Not quite, I enjoyed it, I'd do it again only slower. After what that cretin did to Ketty...

Serene - -sigh- I still want to be with you, you have your darkness, so does everyone else.

Satnak - ... (i.h.h. mol I don't deserve this, but I'll doanything for this girl) I want you to have something.

Satnak gets up and opens her closet.

Serene - What?

Satnak Turns around holding her Sword The Gaurded Heart.

Satnak - Amongst my people this marks you as a potencial mate, sort of equivalent to being a girlfriend here.

Serene - I don't know how to use this thing, I don't think i want to.

Satnak - Its not about the sword, its about us, our connection, about one day being family.

Serene - Then yes I'll take good Care of it, and never let it leave my side.

Satnak - (Hugs Serene)
cypher_zero

08-02-06, 03:22 AM		Lisa: Shouldn’t you look after your daughter?

Terrek: She’ll be fine; she just gets upset sometimes. I’m sure she’s just gone off to talk to Satnak or something.

Terra: She’s going out with Satnak?

Terrek: (Ignoring Terra) Anyway, as I was saying… According to planar law, this plane was now mine, however several powerful demons still resided here and all of them immediately made a bid to steal my newly acquired throne. Armies were formed, sides were chosen and ultimately a four way war erupted between all of the demon lords for stewardship of the realm, forgetting me completely. Why they decided to fight each other and not simply attack me first, weakened as I was was beyond me at the time. Eventually I just chalked it up to the nature of demons to turn on one another at the first opportunity; there’d been infighting between them all for millennia. While they waged war on one another I waited and bided my time, killing only small scout patrols to sustain myself.
I then returned to the slaves, and freed them. Together we set up defenses in the capital, Xen’laa and waited as they demons killed each other off. Three years we were holed up, maintaining our defenses before we struck. . I’d been training the former slaves those three years, teaching them the arts of war and augmenting them with grafts where I could. Our attack was swift and brutal. We came in the night to one of the lords’ strongholds and slaughtered all in our wake; only a few lived to tell of our fury to the other lords.
Before the remaining three could unite against us I made alliances with two of them, to each pledging to destroy the other, offering up the same plan of attack to both; they’d launch an initial assault and we’d move in and wipe out the other side by surprise. They met in the battlefield and clashed, destroying each other as I had intended. True to my word, we swept in and wiped them out to a man. I killed both of those two lords myself, taking from the first the tattered remains of his once coveted wings and from the second a crown of flame for which he was known.
The next day I met with the remaining lord, the most powerful of the three, and wore on my shoulders one lord’s wings as a cloak and on my brow the other’s crown. I remember it as though it was yesterday. I threw open the doors of his keep and walked in. The guards rushed me and I slew them with my bare hands (holds hands in front of himself and stares at them, as though he could see them still running with blood). I tossed their carcasses on the steps to his throne and told him that if he didn’t surrender that moment he’d be next. Naturally he declined; demons are a defiant lot; and attacked me. He stood no chance. I’d bested his master, Ther’nen, and was now fueled by the souls of the other three demon lords who had died at my hands. These chains I now wield used to belong to him, before I ripped them from his back and crushed his spine. I dragged him limp to his balcony and made him beg for death before his amassed army. I slit his throat and rent him in two devouring his soul in the process. His corpse I tossed into the amassed troops and let his blood bathe them.
At that moment, my army of former slaves burst through the gates to the stronghold and surrounded his troops. I gave them the choice, bow before me and proclaim me Lord or I’d see their blood stain the land. As one they dropped to their knees and swore allegiance to me…

OOC: More still to come!
.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-02-06, 07:50 AM		Serene - :( I don't understand how people can do that to each other.
Bunny: It's simple: people are afraid, they must eliminate the source of their fear. You can reduce any negative sentient thought to its fear component. Except for those people who like to kill others.

Silver: Terrek sure is lond wind—

13: We're not supposed to know what goes on in there!

Silver: Oh………well…I'm baaaaaaaack. :devil:

Bunny: I actually missed you. So what do we screw up first?
Endless_Helix

08-02-06, 01:17 PM		OOC: Say Endless_Helix, I was just wondering you have anything in particualar in mind for the personalities of those kids you statted out? If you do it's not a big deal but I just wanted to check if I could just use them before I invented some new ones.

Plans? Nah, that, like, requires, like... thinking ahead. Also, as long as you don't murder them too often you can do whatever you want with them. Here's a summary of the named characters so far-

Nemisis: "Why do my parents hate me?"

Robrand: "I know why my parents hate me and thus I am worthless and hate myself and I will take it out on everyone around me."

Piffany: "Wow! Butterflies! OMG, the ducklings are soooo cute!"
---

The crowds shuffle on the the Forgotten Freedom with a minimal of scuffling. Kithle manages to keep most of them in line.

Kithle: Alright you little worms, the dorms are over there, *points to a bunch of ramshackle huts in the center of the deck*, the food places are there *points to Norbaz's galley* and there, *Points to Erk's Place* but be careful of the second one. They card nasty.

Crowd of Youngsters: Grumble

Kithle cocks an eyebrow.

Crowd of Youngsters: *Gulp* sorry...

Kithle: Okay each of you will find that you have a green symbol on the back of your left hand. Look at it and match it to the correct dorm. I don't care what happens in there, but if they're destroyed in any way, tough luck. Rebuild 'em yourself.

Piffany: What about the potty?

Kithle: Side of the ship.

Piffany: What?!

Kithle: The potties are over the railing. The bathrooms are over there and in each of your dorms.

Piffany: err... Which one are you?

Kithle: I'm Kithle, the Magnificent Bastard. Now get settled in. We're serving lunch in five.
Crystalforged

08-02-06, 02:55 PM		Plans? Nah, that, like, requires, like... thinking ahead. Also, as long as you don't murder them too often you can do whatever you want with them. Here's a summary of the named characters so far-
OOC: (best Mr. Burns impression) Eeeeeexcellent. I'll probably get around to posting my idea later tonight but for now lets just say that when I'm done with her Nemesis is going to be one scary little girl. :schemes:
rampant

08-02-06, 05:43 PM		Disarray - Whoohoo we made it, those cross multiversals can be hell.

Cloaked figure - feh

Disarray - Oooh look Campers I gotta mess with them, you go on ahead.
-----------------------

Serene - Leggo

Satnak - Huh :confused: :(

Serene - I couldn't kiss you from there silly girl. (insert make out scene)
Crystalforged

08-02-06, 08:55 PM		A wooded area with a nearby lake, actually yet another extradimensional pocket created specificly for use for Camp Forgotten Freedom. A fair number of the campers are gathered here, come to attend Kanatash's class...

Kanatash: (appearing out of thin air) Greetings. Welcome to my class on Psychological Warfare and Torture. (glancing across the campers) Hm, more of you have arrived than I expected. I must assume that either noone bothered to fill you in on what to expect in my classes or the lot of you are far more sick and twisted than I anticipated. Ah well, I'm sure the matter will sort itself out in time. Now, how many of you know who I am?


Robrand: (raises hand) You're Kanatash. Long time member of the Forgotten Freedom, known throughout the five nations for sowing madness and chaos in your wake.

Kanatash: Precisely, and now that my ego has been sufficiently stroked we can continue with the class. Many of you will at some point in your lives will find yourselves in various conflicts. Even if you set out live a quiet life in a house enclave or a family business you will at times find forces gathered against you. These may be anything from an anoying and hated coworker to a jerk or bully to a lynch mob out for your blood. The simplest way to end such conflict is of course simply to slaughter those who oppose you but there are many cases when this will be impossible or implausible, particularly in more mundane conflicts. This is where psychological warfare comes into play, generals have long used these sorts of tactics to break the will of armies, I will teach you to use the same sort of tactics on a far more personal level. Now why don't we start with a few historical precedents-

Nemesis raises her hand

Kanatash: Yes?

Nemesis: What about the other part of the class sir?

Kanatash: Ah, yes. I apologize, I got ahead of myself. The second aspect of this class, torture. Now there is a fair amount of overlap between psychological warfare, or at least my variety, and torture but there are also certain aspects that are seperate. Torture may be physiological or psychological in nature but both are useful whether for information gathering, vengance, or just simple amusement. Now since we're on the subject I think we should start with this part of the class. One moment please.

He concentrates for a moment and suddenly dozens of squirrels pour out of a nearby portal into the trees. A handful more come after the initial swarm escorting seveal dozen redshirts sporting shackles and leg chains.

Kanatash: Before I start showing you various methods of my own I want to check out your own natural aptitudes for the subject. To this end I have brought in these redshirts, your goal is extract from one of these subjects one simple thing, their name.

Piffany: (raising hand) Ugh, Mr. Ghost person, all this seems kindof not-nice.

Kanatash: First, I may be incorperal, but I'm not a ghost. I'm a Kalashtar psion uncarnate that embodies the perfect madness of Xoriat. However you rais a semi-coherent point. Namely that some of you may be of a more moral persuasion here. For that reason I have selected redshirts which I have selected are mass murders, war crime convicts, pedophiles, and bards so that should ease any guilt you may feel over what is about to be done to them. Any more questions before I continue.

Silence

Kanatash: Good. Now as I was about to say your task will not be easy, because each of these redshirts has been informed that if they survive this session WITHOUT revealing their names they will be elevated to the level of skum(i.h.h. poor saps actually believed I would do it too), a great incentive to them. You do have certain advantages in your attempts though, I have borrowed one of the squirrel brigades for this class and they will be able to aquire for you any mundane equipment that you may require. You have one hour, I will be moving among you, examining your methods and results. Begin.



OOC: More to come later tonight. Tired of typing.
rampant

08-02-06, 09:16 PM		Robrands - Wrong approach *stab* *speak with dead*

Redshirt - My name is bob.

Kanatash - I hate necromancers.
urial angel of death

08-02-06, 09:26 PM		Kanatash floats over to Robrands.

Kanatash: While that is a good and easy approach in some cases, it does not work in all. As a teacher it is my duty to teach you the hard way first so you can use it when the easy way fails. Therefore you must try again with a different redshirt. Anti-magic field
rampant

08-02-06, 09:39 PM		Nemisis - Ok hows this ahem...This little piggie went to market (breaks a finger)

Redshirt - AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGG

Nemisis - This little piggie stayed home. -snap-

this continues till the redshirt has no more fingers on that hand

Nemisis - ... Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear (rips out hair)

Redshirt - agh

Nemisis - Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair (there goes the armpits)

Redshirt - MY LIFE IS PAIN

Nemisis - Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he? (back hair)

Redshirt - *Breaks down into a sobbing heap*

Kanatash - On one hand I liked it, on the other the bastard didn't talk.

Nemisis - Not done yet, NEXT

New Redshirt - MYNAMEISFREDPLEASEDON'THURTME!
Crystalforged

08-02-06, 11:48 PM		Robrands - Wrong approach *stab* *speak with dead*

Redshirt - My name is bob.

Kanatash - I hate necromancers.
Kanatash floats over to Robrands.

Kanatash: While that is a good and easy approach in some cases, it does not work in all. As a teacher it is my duty to teach you the hard way first so you can use it when the easy way fails. Therefore you must try again with a different redshirt. Anti-magic field
OOC: Heh, that's more or less exactly what I had planned for Robrands. I just want to add a little to Kanatash's response.

IC: Kanatash: (scribbling something on a clipboard) Points for thinking outside the box however. I was wondering if anyone would see that loophole I left, congrats. Now though I need to see what you can do with the subject matter. Continue. (wanders off towards other campers)

OOC: still more coming
Kaizer_Ryu

08-02-06, 11:55 PM		:coolcthul : Hello, dudes and dudettes. This is Avoiding the Feds 101. Now, can anyone tell me why you don't want The Man breathing down your neck?

Elf Girl: *raises hand* Because he want's to ruin our fun just because it's illegal?

:coolcthul : Close, but no. Anyone else?

Half-Orc Boy: Because he wants it for himself?

:coolcthul : Not what I was looking for, but true none the less.

Kalashtar Girl: Because they think you can't handle the truth?

:coolcthul : Exactly. The Man doesn't want you gaining any insights into the universe that might weaken his hold on your life. He's just trying to bring you down. But there are many ways with which to fool this mighty adversary. I will start with a short demonstration. *points to a Halfling boy* Would you come up here, please? And bring that sheet I handed out.

The boy walks up nervously and stands in front of the class.

:coolcthul : What is your name, and, for future reference, your class?

Boy: Um...I'm Linus, and I'm a Druid.

:coolcthul : Dude, awesome choice. You should take my class on growing your own. But first things first. We're going to do a little role playing here. I'll play the part of The Man, and you have to try and get me to back off. Ready?

Linus nods nervously.

:coolcthul : *taking on a gruff tone and manner* What're ya doin' here, boy?

Linus: Nothing, sir.

:coolcthul : Nothing? Doesn't smell like nothing to me. Turn out your pockets.

Linus begins doing so, but :coolcthul stops him.

:coolcthul : No, no, no! You can't just give in like that. You've got to stand up to him! Remember to use your sheet.

Linus: *glances at his sheet* Um...ok. Uh...I haven't done anything, man! Why're you oppressing me?!

:coolcthul : Don't give me any lip, young man, just do as I ask.

Linus: No way, man! You don't own me! Get outta my face!

:coolcthul : *smiles and claps* That was very good for your first try. Remember, children, The Man becomes frightened and confused when threatend. Use this to your advantage. Once he discovers your stash, it's much harder to get him off your case. I'll show you ways to get out of that event next time. For now, I want you to pair off and practice your combative language. I'll be walking among you, so feel free to ask questions.

Linus: Male Halfling, Druid 3
Paulon

08-03-06, 12:46 AM		Also, it occured to me that there may be people out there that just read this post without contributing. If you're out there, would you just let us know (if nobody replies I'm going to feel really stupid.)? Just curious is all.

(Obviously OOCly): There's me for one. My sense of humour isn't up to matching the posters here, and I've got other irons in the fire taking up my time and creativity anyway. That doesn't stop me watching, laughing and speculating about possible developments though.

*chuckles about the distance those waffle irons travelled to get from Planet Jean to Eberron*
rampant

08-03-06, 01:07 AM		Satnak - Ok Keep your hands up and cover your face.

Piffany - I, like, can't see the bag.

Satnak - Then its behind your fist.

Piffany - oh...

Satnak - Jab, jab, cross, jab, jab, cross, jab, jab, cross, haymaker! Watch the bags

Campers - huh?

The bags reel around from the last part of the combo and smack the campers full on in their faces.

Satnak - Ok People time for the next session, Dance with me, follow the squirrels with the flags for other classes.

As the campers mill about and are joined by other groups going to the same class three familiar faces gather in the middle where their wispers are masked from even Satnak's ears.

Robrands - I certainly hope this doesn't mean that this brute of a woman isn't to teach us to dance, she looks like she's never even seen the inside of a ballroom.

Piffany - Like, Don't be so sure she swaggers just like any aristocrat. Maybe an obscure military familiy.

Nemisis - Who cares she's amazing, didn't you see how lightly she was tapping her bag and it still split at the seams.

Robrands - I won't deny her strength or prowess. She simply doesn't seem fit to teach courtly behavior, look at her hands.

Piffany - Nasty, scars everywhere.

Nemisis - She's seen some viscious fights.

The group arrives.

Serene - There you are, Now pair up. Satnak you're with me.

Satnak - :embarrass um,... sure I'm done for a while.

Robrands - :inlove:
Crystalforged

08-03-06, 01:36 AM		Before Kanatash makes it vary far he is confronted by Nemesis.

Nemesis: Can I have another one? :bigeyes:

Kanatash: :confused: Why, you've already passed?

Nemesis: Yeah but those ones broke way to easy. I wasn't even getting started.

Kanatash: (considers it for a moment) Hm, well I do have some spares I was going to use for my own demonstrations later but I suppose you can have one more. Just don't blow through him like the last two, these guys aren't as easy to come by as you might think. Oh, and I want to be impressed with this one, the last two were almost amature.

Nemesis: (leading away a new redshirt) Yes sir. You won't be dissipointed

Kanatash: Intreging. I wonder what she has in mind.

---

At Kanatash's next stop a feral looking shifter of about 8 is working on a redshirt hanging in mid air from his shackles. The shifter stripping the skin from the redshirt with a set of flensing knives as he howls with animalistic glee.

Redshirt: AAAAAAH, I ALREADY SAID MY NAME IS SMITH! STOOOOP FOR THE LOVE OF JAELA! AAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!

The shifter seems unmoved by his plees and simply continues cutting.

Kanatash: (checking something on the clipboard) Simple, crude really, but undiniably effective. Pass.

---

Next Kanatash comes to Piffany where she has locked her redshirt in a cage with a dozen really happy, overly energetic puppies. The puppies have swarmed over the redshirt, licking and tickling him to the point where he has been reduced to tears.

Redshirt: :rofl:

Kanatash: A point for creativity but no results. He's laughing too hard to answer questions of any sort. Fail.

Piffany: :bigeyes: Awww, but look at it. It's just so cute...

Kanatash: Don't talk to me about cute, kid. I know cute, I'm marrying cute. I'm looking for freaky abnormal cute, this is just normal cute. If the puppies were absorbing his mind or were mutated somehow you might have something but as it is, no, just no.

---

Kanatash finally comes to where Nemesis is set up with her newest redshirt. The redshirt sits at the bottem of a 10 ft pit. His hands are unbound but his feet are shackled to a ring in the center of the floor. Nemesis stands at the edge of the pit holding a rope with a bucket tied to it and a garden hose. Just as Kanatash arrives Nemesis lowers the bucket, which he can see holds a glass jar, down to the redshirt.

Redshirt: What the **** is going on here!?

Nemesis says nothing and instead turns the hose on the redshirt, drenching him.

Redshirt: AURG!

Nemesis: (in an innocent, saccharine-sweet voice) It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.

Redshirt: You're freakin me out here kid!

Nemesis: (spraying the redshirt) I rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Redshirt: (pulling out the jar and looking at it) This is acid! Are you nuts kid!?

At this point Nemesis once again sprays the redshirt and it is now that Kanatash notices an interesting feature of the pit. It's walls are solid stone as is its floor but it lacks a drain of any sort so the water sprayed in has no place to go and has been slowly pooling in the bottem. Now infact it has begun to lap the redshirt's knees.

Redshirt: Alright, alright I'll put it on! (begins spreading the acid over it's skin) AH! PAIN!

Nemesis: (spraying him again) IT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS!

Redshirt: Yes, Yes of course! I don't know what pain is! Just don't hurt me any more!

Nemesis: It places the lotion in the basket.

Redshirt: (begging) Please, just let me go!

Nemesis: (spraying him once more) Put the ****ing lotion in the basket!

The redshirt silently complies, his eyes wide with terror. The water in the pit is now up to the redshirt's neck, and because his legs are shackled to the bottem he is unable to swim to keep his head above water. Nemesis hauls up the bucket before looking down at the redshirt with her head tilted to one side and a girlish smile on her face.

Nemesis: What's my name?

Redshirt: (confused and frightened, trembling slightly) I don't know your name, you never told me.

Nemesis: (voice growing deep and demonic) WHAT'S MY NAME!!! (sprays the redshirt)

Redshirt: (stammering) I, I, I, don't know!

Nemesis: (sprays him again) TELL ME MY NAME!

Redshirt: (struggling to keep his head above water) SATAN!

Nemesis: MY NAME IS NEMESIS! SAY IT!

Redshirt: NEMESIS! NEMESIS! NEMESIS!

She stops now for a moment, regaining her composure and once again seeming an innocent young girl.

Nemesis: (smiling) Now we're going to play some hide and seek, you better hide real good cuz' someday I might just find you.

At this Nemesis opens up the hose, filling the pit to its top and watches as the last few bubbles of air percolate up from terrified redshirt stareing up from beneth the surface.

All is quiet for a moment.

Kanatash: :clap: Oh, BRAVO! Some of the finest work I've seen in a long time. You have some really potential there, exemplary marks all around. Say how would you like to be my assistant in the rest of my classes?

Piffany: Hey, wait! She didn't get the redshirt's name either!

Kanatash: True, but one, she already got the name from another redshirt earlier, and two, do you really think he wouldn't have told her his name at any point there if she had asked?

Piffany: But, but...

Kanatash: (pushing Piffany out of his way) Shoo kid, you're bothering me. Now what do you say Nemesis?

Nemesis: (thinks for a moment) Do I get more redshirts?

Kanatash: You can have all the redshirts you like, heck, I'll even let you tap into my private sources.

Nemesis: You've got yourself an assistant Professor.

Kanatash: :cloud9:



OOC: So, this kid scaring anyone yet? :angelhide
Crystalforged

08-03-06, 01:43 AM		(Obviously OOCly): There's me for one. My sense of humour isn't up to matching the posters here, and I've got other irons in the fire taking up my time and creativity anyway. That doesn't stop me watching, laughing and speculating about possible developments though.

*chuckles about the distance those waffle irons travelled to get from Planet Jean to Eberron*
Perfectly reasonable. Though if you ever feel like commenting on the plot, even if you don't have anything to add I'd say go ahead. For myself at least I always like to hear what other people have to say about what I put up, positive or not. Surprisingly often I don't realize how disturbing some of the stuff I post is until someone else comments on it.
rampant

08-03-06, 01:58 AM		OOC: Some of us are getting a little desensitized :bored: we can't give an unbiased response anymore.
--------------------
A few hours later.

Nemisis first redshirt - (stops shaking) hello .... I'm free, I did it, I'm skum!!!! Heeeehehehe.

----------

Kanatash - I'm forgetting something.
-------------

OOC: BTW when is Caralot coming back? And whats happening with andrea and norbaz?
Kaizer_Ryu

08-03-06, 02:23 AM		OOC: BTW when is Caralot coming back?OOC: She's coming back when Terra and Lisa get back. That's one of the many reasons I want to keep going with them, another being whatever Charles Phipps has going with Linda. Once they're done with Terrek, I'm almost literally half way through the honemoon. But, since then I'll have pretty much total control over how fast things get done, it shouldn't take too long (i.e. a couple days).
Gladius_Lucix

08-03-06, 02:47 AM		Liam is just finishing up with the first Advanced Magi. Sci. class.

Liam:... and that's how you make a perpetual motion machine. Any question?

Random Camper: When do we blow stuff up?

Liam: *sigh* What's your name?

Random Camper: Griswald Kayrn.

Liam: You want to see explosions, Griswald? This uses the latest discovery that I made. Follow me, class.

Liam takes a Wand of Fireballs and a Weir/Insan Converter, and leads the campers up to the deck. Plugging the Converter onto the Wand, he turns it to the max and aims it into space.

Liam: Watch.

BOOM.

Campers: Cool!

Liam: This (removes the converter) is the Weir/Insan Converter. It draws on the ambient Insanity of the Forgotten Freedom, and converts it into usable energy, transfering it into the wand and generating a dramatic increase in the power of the spell. If you want to learn how to make stuff like this, well, take a few years at Morgrave. If you want to learn some of the basics of Arcanology, commonly known as Magi. Sci., then keep in the class. Any more questions?

Griswald: Can I have that?

Liam: No.

---------

Griswald Kayrn, Male Dwarf Evoker 2
Kamikaze Chicken

08-03-06, 05:01 AM		A poster composed mainly in reds, crimsons, maroons, and burgandys.

"ATENTION CAMPERS!"

Counselor Quill will be suuplying all campers with suplemental material to co-inside with the classes offered by the lady Serene.

Classes shall be as follows:

Bardic Theology: A proof of existence

Bardic Theory: A proof of usefulness
-Bardic Theory lab: Students will be asigned to other classes projects in attempts to prove that the pressence of a bard really does help.

Bardic Knowledge: Knowing when NOT to fake it

Magical Devices and You, the art of survivng trying to hard.

Taking a Bow, and Bowing Out: A course in proper performance follow up.
-Taking a Bow, and Bowing Out Lab: Sudents will take turns in the mess hall during lunch [those who perform poorly will be re-asigned to mystery meat tuesdays for incentive]

The Whip: A study in its tactical, and tanilizing uses.[campers under 12 not admitted]
-The Whip Lab: Students will inquire with counselor Kanatash for their practicals in this course.
Kamikaze Chicken

08-03-06, 05:15 AM		Quill sands before a small crowd of campers, most of whom seem to have taken the class purly for the sake of "ease"

Quill: Bards exist for one purpose
Random Camper1: DECOY!
Quill:No
Random Camper2: TARGET!
Quill: No
Random Camper 1&2: Ooooohhhh.....
Quill: Enlightne me then campers if you two know why we bards are here. :sits down to listen:
RC1&2: Bards exist to make every one else feal better about their inadequicies!
Quill: :fuming: While I commend your enthusiasm and vocabulary i will not allow such disrespect to be shown to my profession... LEAVE!
RC1&2 leave muttering something about..: At least the creepy guy had red-shirts....

Quill composes himself and sends himself into a well rehearsed speech:
"Bards exist to try everything that they can think of to try. SNeaking past the gaurds? Sure. Killing the gaurds with a sword to the torso? Sure. Putting the Gaurds to sleep with a spell? sure. Having the gaurd signore you by sleeping with one of them, then blackmailing them with ilusory images of the acts..... maybe if you rinto that, but the option is there for we elect few whom have the desire to try verything, yet accept the sad turth that no one willr espect our efforts in anything. Yet despite this percieved short coming we soldier on, into battle, into dungeons, in the backs of seedy taverns... what ever it takes to assure the success of our friends. The bard Exists not because hw ants to.. but because no one has yet to prove to us that we should not. Eloqiuence, tradition, and beautty must all be preserve din the hearts and minds of Bards. That is why we exist!!"

At his last words quill whips around with a floruish of his crimson cape and smiles broadly to his class, now composed of two students.

Piffany: :eyes welled up with huge tears of emotion: BRAVO!

Nemesis: :scribbles down some notes: i wonder if Kanatash knows about this guys skill..... the red-shirts wont even see it coming....

Quill: that will be all for today.... it is good to see so much entus... class dismissed.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-03-06, 07:50 AM		Death Paper: So now that we're finally back :waits: we have two Quori in full form trashing a………comic convention?

NJ26: And our reference god is off getting promoted. :bored: Well, we can trash some Quori dunces and get back to Erk's Place in time for the Con Contest.

Death Paper stands threateningly and growls at the Quori, who pay him no attention.

NJ26: :blink:……Hold on…

She unfolds a protesting Death Paper.

NJ26: Erk wrote more on you.

Death Paper: What?!? More? How does he do that?

NJ26: God's got mad skills. Chose it over raw power. Guess it has some perks.…………Hmmmm……………It says here that this is an Eberron where the giants managed to separate Dal Quor so completely that the Quori haven't managed to have any influence until quite recently. In addition the added talents of Sarlona advanced technology to a level only seen in Ketler's portal to the alternate multiverse.

Death Paper: So…what are we supposed to do?

NJ26: :censored: It didn't write that.

"Shining Savior Armor come forth!"
Endless_Helix

08-03-06, 01:42 PM		OOC: Nemisis is designed to be the sum of all fears. Wait til you see what she can do in four or five levels...
---

So after a somewhat exciting day with the crew, the campers have decided to fall asleep, or trance, or tinker, or cause the deaths of untold redshirts. Y'know, the usual. One boy in the Spleen Dormitory drags a goat into the room. He also bears several black candles and a piece of chalk.

Random Bully: Oh, so we have a momma's boy! Sayin' 'is prayers, eh?

Robrand: Oh, shut it. The world would probably be a better place if we all said our prayers at night.

Random Bully: Wow, fellows, we have two momma's boys! You know what we do with momma's boys, right?

---

In Wexlshlorp Dorm-

Piffany: Anyway, like, that Robrand... He's sooo hot. Don't you agree Shadow?

Shadow: I don't know... He's kind of wierd... But that riedran boy; I love his eyes...

Piffany: Oooh, yeah he's cute, but he's kind of an *******. Did you see what he tried to do to Nemisis?

Shadow: Yeah, but, who says she didn't deserve it? She is really creepy... I mean that ghost-guy took her on as a TA...

They both hear a clank followed by a scraping sound of a key in a lock.They turn around and see Nemisis locking herself into a set of chains. She just finished with her leg restraints and is now locking herself into her manacles.

Piffany: Oh! Um Hi Nemisis, We didn't see you... errr... why are you locking yourself into-

Nemisis: -These? *hefts chain*, I dunno... I've never been able to sleep without them. Kind of wierd now that I think about it.
---
There are screams from Spleen Dorm. Long, terrible screams. Screams for parents, for brothers, for gods, for many things. But not one does any good.

---
Wexlschlorp Dorm-

SFXDemon: KNOCK, KNOCK...

*There is a knocking on the door.*

Piffany: I wonder who that is?

Piffany walks over to the door and opens it. Griswald and three other guys are standing around sheepishly.

Piffany: Oh! Hi, Griswald, right?

Griswald: Yeah. Uh, hi... ummm this is Wexlshlorp Dorm, right?

Piffany: Yeah...

Griswald: Ummmm... *All the boys outside show the back of their left hands*

Piffany: Um. Um. That can't be right. Um.
---

Spleen Dorm-

Robrand: Well, that happens about twice every week or so. Bullies tend to try to gang up on those weaker than themselves. I've been taught a lot about bullies. I've also been to a lot of camps.

Other Boy: MMhmm.

Robrand: Though, I have to say, you probably didn't need my help.

The camera zooms out to show the flayed corpses of the two bullies, ritually dismembered in a pentagram of chalk, surrounded by black candles.

Other Boy: Yeah, they were pansies. My name's Ernest.

Robrand: Robrand.

---

Piffany:Ummm... Mr Kithle?

Kithle: Mmm?

Piffany: Ummm... Was there a... mistake in the housing situation?

Kithle: No. Why?

Piffany: Ummm...Isn't Wexlschlorp a girl's dorm?

Kithle: No, all the dorms are co-ed.

Piffany: Er. But... That's improper!

Kithle: Do I care?

Griswald: But they're girls! They have.... err... no, cooties are actually quite tasty, umm... I think they have cluties.

Kithle: Oh. Yeah. Hmm... No, girls do not have cluties. Actually, you're right. Cootie dumplings do sound quite tasty, although they probably aren't very healthy. Anyway, stop wasting my time! I have important things to do that do not involve you. Beat it! *Thinks to self, tell Norbaz about that recipe!*.

---
-Edit-

Here are the stats for the characters I introduced.

Shadow d'Phiarlarn: Female Elf Rogue 3 (maxed diplomacy, bluff, gather info and sense motive, and a low cut bodice)

Ernest: Human Cleric of the Mockery 1/ Favored Soul 1 Domains: Death and Destruction.
cypher_zero

08-03-06, 01:43 PM		(Obviously OOCly): There's me for one. My sense of humour isn't up to matching the posters here, and I've got other irons in the fire taking up my time and creativity anyway. That doesn't stop me watching, laughing and speculating about possible developments though.
OOC: I knew it! The voices in my head weren’t lying! We are being watched! … Maybe they’re right about other things too… where’s my sword…
Anyways, what’re your thoughts? Are we all nuts or what?


IC:
(continuing)
Terrek pauses for a moment and takes up his glass, swirls it for a moment, then sips it attentively.

Terrek: Ah… I never get over how good this wine is. It’s really quite delicate; bruises very easily, though my servants do a fantastic job seeing that it doesn’t.

Lisa: So what happened? What’d you do with all the demons?

Terrek: (sets glass down slowly) Oh; I killed them.

Lisa: But they swore allegiance to you! They surrendered!

Terrek: (shakes his head) No no no, it wasn’t like that. I killed them all, yes, but I didn’t slaughter them like you’re thinking. As I’ve already said, demons are a rebellious lot, eventually they betrayed me. Not all at once mind you. I’d personally reduced the population of the plane by a couple thousand, not to mention all the others that my men had killed. No, they always sought some kind of power and whenever a small group of them thought that they might have enough power to take me on, they went for it. Over the past couple hundred years, I’ve had to kill nearly all of those that had originally surrendered. Several of them still live and they are among the most powerful beings on the plane. That’s why I dampen certain types of powers here. Frankly, I’ve nothing to fear from a fighter’s pure martial ability, but a paladin’s smite (glances at Lisa) might prove more problematic. Those beings that I feel have nothing to gain by betraying me are granted much more leniency than those that would see me overthrown. As a rule, all who enter my plane are stripped of their powers until I decide how far they can be trusted; I’ll grant you most of yours back after dinner.

Terra: How often do you get new arrivals?

Terrek: Well, in the early years after the war, I opened the gates of my plane for all to enter. Back then, I hadn’t yet begun limiting people’s powers. Naturally this caused me some problems, but I dealt with them (flexes claws). A couple hundred years ago I decided to all but close off access to my realm. Beings only get in when I personally let them. Usually I don’t get too many; the occasional powerful wizard or sorcerer but for the most part my realm is closed.

Lisa: So if you didn’t create this plane, then how do you have so much control over it?

Terrek: Ah! Yes, I was getting to that. As I’ve told you, everything comes with a price, so to did the god that gave me my ability to devour souls demand something in return. Now, I only need about one souls a day to sustain me. The rest are sort of “stored,” kind of like how the body stores energy in fat. The god appeared to me again and told me that he wanted the souls of some of the demons I’d eaten. Now, at this point I was nearly as powerful as I am now when on Ebberon. The souls he wanted were those of the demon lords and that of Ther’nen. I offered him the souls of many more demons as well and he told me how to infuse the realm with my own energy, making it in many ways a reflection of myself. This was, in effect a way to ascend to godhood, albeit only here. I’ve since bound the realm completely to my will such that with the slightest thought I can accomplish anything I wish. Unfortunately the magic that binds things to my will prevents anything from crossing to Ebberon. Hence, I could not use those powers to create an all-powerful weapon and then use it there. That is the reason for my lab. Things done through more… traditional means can still be brought over. Also, since I’m am the be all and end all here I can’t get more powerful while here, hence the reason I spend so much time in Ebberon.

OOC: Hey, guess what! There’s still more!
.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-03-06, 02:10 PM		OOC: Hey, guess what! There’s still more!
OOC: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH HHHHH!!!!!!!!!
(I'm sorry, it just has to be said that you are very long winded and talk too much about power. Don't take it too personally, it's just me.)
IC: 13: Hey, chief, we got something that you should see over here!

OOcat (sleepy): What?

13 points out Endless_Helix's post. OOcat reads it over.

OOcat: So?

13: I think your insanity bled over into other people. This makes no sense.

OOcat: (yawn) And?

13: And I'm just worried that if people acquire your brand of sanity they'll get wise to the true state of being. Then I'm out of a job as a god.

OOcat: For the record, that's not my insanity. Just because he's quoting my favorite author doesn't mean it came from me. Bunny?

Bunny: You want me to show him the Vault of Stupid Sentient Tricks?

OOcat: I've got to work on a campaign setting, I…………(looks over end of post)………scuse me.
*****
OOcat: Kithle?

Kithle: Huh? Hey, what are you doing here?

OOcat: I happen to have a recipe book with clootie dumplings in it.
Endless_Helix

08-03-06, 02:30 PM		OOcat: I happen to have a recipe book with clootie dumplings in it.

No, no, no, no! COOTIE dumplings, not clootie dumplings. Notice the lack of an "l" in COOTIE? Cootie dumplings are a Mrorish sausage made with honey, sage, a pinch of onions, and the scrambled brains of orcish druid, stuffed into a sheep's ******. Besides, Kithle already has it.
cypher_zero

08-03-06, 03:01 PM		OOC: Sorry man but I got a lot of exposition to go through. Hopefully when this whole thing is over with you'll see that it was nessessary to explain in, even if it is long. Also, I was kinda poking fun at myself with the last comment in my previous post, so yea...
rampant

08-03-06, 07:01 PM		Kithle - Besides who's worse the boys... or nemisis.

Shadow - point
--------------------------------

Robrands - How do I approach her?

Ernest - huh?

Robrands - Sorry didn't mean to say that out loud.

Ernest - Whos the girl?

Robrands - The "Lady" is Serene.

Ernest - Who?

Robrands - You must not have had her class yet.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-03-06, 07:54 PM		NJ26: :eek: Wow, I didn't think you could get armor that…:thinks:

Death Paper: Skin-tight?

NJ26: No.

Death Paper: Shiney?

NJ26: No.

Death Paper: Covered in holy symbols?

NJ26: …dress-shaped.

Death Paper: Word.

Quori 1 (sighting Shining Princess): Gah!

Quori 2: :eek: It's…

"Monty Python's Flying Circus!"

John Cleese: And now…for something…completely different.

In the half-dragon entry, it says that this race is the result of when a dragon uses Alter Self to become a humanoid, and impregnates a real humanoid. My question is, what happens when a human uses a polymorph spell to become an elf, then inpregnates a real elf. Is the resulting child an elf, or a half-elf? Taking it one step futher, what if a druid uses Wild Shape, becomes a wolf, and impregnates a wolf? Would the child be a wolf, or some sort of half-wolf? For arguments sakes, assume they are all really drunk. :D
Caralot: Tried that. It's a lot of fun. Results in a half-were.

OOcat: The question is druid/wolf, neither of which is were.

Caralot: :confused: :lightbulb

OOcat: :banghead:
cypher_zero

08-03-06, 08:12 PM		OOC: And people think I'm crazy...
Endless_Helix

08-03-06, 08:24 PM		Jarlot: Good morning campers!

Remaining Campers: Good Morning Captain Jarlot...

Jarlot: We're going to... hmmm... can't read that bit... or that bit... ummm... Does that say "cornhusk"? Ummm. Jolly sod off and do something, capisce?

Remaining Campers: Yes, Captain Jarlot.

Kithle: *Thinks to self: NEVER, EVER, ALLOW JARLOT TO WRITE HIS OWN SPEECHES!* *Slaps self on forehead*
---

Klaz: Now look eah' little mates! This is what we call a tricerotrox. It's got three horns, razor sharp teeth, claws like you wouldn't believe, and a tail like a 'ammer. It's a beautiful shiela ain't it? Now, I'm going to try to touch it, does anyone want to try first? Ummm... you in the back, with the green shirt, yea, whats your name, chum?

Kid with the Green Shirt: Oi'm Turgut.

Klaz: Turgut, eh? Crikey, sound like yer got a bit of ginger in yeh. Alrigh' just run over there and touch it. When it's not lookin', like. Now!

Turgut runs over and slaps it right on the ass. The tricerotrox roars, rears and crushes Turgut with very little thought. It also begins running toword the main group.

Klaz: And now is when we run like hell, poppets.

Robrand: No, really? Aren't you going to really **** it off first?

Klaz: Hmm...

Vrin: Dude, he's got a point.

Klaz charges over to the dino, manages to lead it off into the woods, and begins really ******* it off. There's some roaring for a while, which tapers down into a whimper. Theres some really disturbing sounds coming out of that copse of trees.

Robrand: I completely regret saying that now.

Vrin: Could be worse. You could have to tape it.
---

Devon: Alright, I am here to teach you the noble art of poetry. Poetry is the art of nobility and I am here to teach you it. To write poetry you must first begin with a rhyme scheme.

Ernest: Like, 1. Write a poem. 2. ??? 3. Rule the world?

Devon: Ummm... Not quite. Here, let me demonstrate. "There was a man from Nantucket..."
---

Jarlot: And then the Devourer dove onto Arawai and began to...

The entire class shuts off their ears.
---

Turgut: Male Dwarven Fighter 2. (Toughness, Improved Toughness, Endurance, Diehard.) He'll be back.
Gladius_Lucix

08-03-06, 09:03 PM		Liam is talking with Piffany about her time at camp.

Piffany: ...And that Kanatash guy is icky!

Liam: I know, but once you get used to him, he's not that bad.

Piffany: Not that bad? He was having people torture those poor redshirts! Just to find their names!

Liam: I hate to break it to you, but that's sort of the point of redshirts here. Wait, getting their names?

Piffany: Yeah. What's so important about names?

Liam: There's a power to names here. I need to go.

Liam searches the halls for Kanatash.

Liam: Kanatash, what got into you?

Kanatash: Why do you presume to yell at me?

Liam: Every "successful" subject in your torture class had his or her name revealed in the prescence of your Entity, who had to be there by the very rules of the world, and where one Entity is, they all are. The redshirts are named, now! They have plot protection. THEY- CAN'T- DIE!

Kanatash: You have a very valid point, there. On the other hand, most of them just revealed their first name, or died shortly thereafter. I don't think there is much of a problem.

Liam: I hope not.
urial angel of death

08-03-06, 10:14 PM		Bob- awakened unkillable zombie

After a speak with dead spell was cast on poor bob the redshirt for reasons uinknown it turned him into a zombie capable of thought. These of course went from bad to worse for poor bob after his rebirth. He now gets no pay, becuase of Jarlot's stance on those not living not needing poay, and is still forced to preform redshirt duties. He has been termed reusable because of his fast healing.
rampant

08-03-06, 10:44 PM		OOC: :waits: You know I post stuff here with the express purpose of having people mess with it, stop avoiding my plotlines, its not like I don't mess with you guys' stuff.
------------------------------------

Beryl - Am I even a crew member anymore?

Caralot - Why are you complaining?

Lisa's various sisters - BECAUSE WE'RE PLOTTING REVENGE/FAMILY REUNION AND THE TARGET ISN'T HERE!!! :mad:
------------------------------

Lunch hour

Serene - Satnak? Where are you?

Satnak - Over here!

Serene - :OMG! Where did you get that food, turkey, pie,... whatever that is (crepes), the menu says its chili today!?

Satnak - ... :embarrass I know a few recipes, besides the chili they use for the camp is too mild.

Serene - Where did you get the time?

Satnak - Astral construct to watch it when nothing delicate was required, a little t.k. when something needed mixing or moving. Gotta keep up with practice.

Serene - Its lovely, lets eat :D

Satnak - :)

As they settle down to enjoy the spread...

Robrands - Hello ladies, May I join you. I hate to sound like a beggar, but the chili scares me.

Satnak - Pansy.

Robrands - *glare*

Satnak - *ONE-EYED GLARE*

Robrands - *blinks*

Serene - Of course I won't need all this, and a chef never likes their own cooking.

Satnak - True I'd hate to have to box this bird up.

Robrands - My thanks.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-03-06, 11:15 PM		OOC: I thought of more questions, cypher. You may have been getting to them anyway, but just in case...

What is the point of it all? Why the quest for power/perfection? Just because, or what?
What is the price of permanent residence in the plane?
What if a resident wants to leave (regardless of reason)?

I still want to know why he's even telling them all this...
Always-Late

08-03-06, 11:36 PM		If you're interested in taking part in this mess, where can you start? I actually wouldn't mind reading 113 pages of awesome, but it's still 113 pages.

(The wiki didn't help. At all.)
cypher_zero

08-03-06, 11:45 PM		Well, first read the Wiki. Then to get up to speed with the current stories, start at around pg 80. It'll only be a 40 pg read by the time you get up to us and alot of the posts can be skipped if you're only worried about the story that's going on now (I don't recommed it though, cause they're funny). The Wiki is Here (http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Main_Page)
Kaizer_Ryu

08-03-06, 11:53 PM		OOC: The Plot lines section of the Wiki is (for the most part) accurate. I've seen a few missed/cut spots, but it's not necessary to read every last bit. If you want to get into the story line via reading the actual thread, start at about page 17-18. That's where it starts to pick up. Most of the Character part of the Wiki just lists the starting point of those characters, but several crew, including most of the ubers, have more detailed info.

Unfortunately, if you really want to understand what's going on, you should read at least most of the story. I'd say a good point to start adding on is when you no longer say "I have no idea what they're talking about" at most of the story. But only when the "I'm lost" confusion subsides, not the "these people are insane" confusion. That's just par for the course. :D

EDIT: And as Cypher points out, you could just start on the more recent plot lines if you want to post sooner, and pick up the rest as you go along. I still suggest reading the whole thing at some point, though. Some of the best parts of this thread have nothing to do with the main story.
Paulon

08-03-06, 11:55 PM		Perfectly reasonable. Though if you ever feel like commenting on the plot, even if you don't have anything to add I'd say go ahead. For myself at least I always like to hear what other people have to say about what I put up, positive or not. Surprisingly often I don't realize how disturbing some of the stuff I post is until someone else comments on it.

I think the lot of you are crazy. In a harmless sense as opposed to a sociopathic Kanatash IRL sense. :P
If I had less in the way of time commitments I'd be more likely to post at least something, but work and other stuff gets in the way of having the time needed to write a decent piece of plot.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-04-06, 12:08 AM		If I had less in the way of time commitments I'd be more likely to post at least something, but work and other stuff gets in the way of having the time needed to write a decent piece of plot.Are you kidding? I get most of my best ideas at work. I can't post them there (no internet and the whole on-the-clock thing), but after the first few posts I did, only the most crucial things merited me doing any real planning beforehand. Maybe that's just me.

But then again, if you told anyone who knows me I was being spontanious, they'd look like you just claimed to be Adrian Barbaeu, Queen of Mars from Olympus Mons to Tharsis.

...unless you are, then it wouldn't really have the shock value.
Crystalforged

08-04-06, 12:11 AM		Liam is talking with Piffany about her time at camp.

Piffany: ...And that Kanatash guy is icky!

Liam: I know, but once you get used to him, he's not that bad.

Piffany: Not that bad? He was having people torture those poor redshirts! Just to find their names!

Liam: I hate to break it to you, but that's sort of the point of redshirts here. Wait, getting their names?

Piffany: Yeah. What's so important about names?

Liam: There's a power to names here. I need to go.

Liam searches the halls for Kanatash.

Liam: Kanatash, what got into you?

Kanatash: Why do you presume to yell at me?

Liam: Every "successful" subject in your torture class had his or her name revealed in the prescence of your Entity, who had to be there by the very rules of the world, and where one Entity is, they all are. The redshirts are named, now! They have plot protection. THEY- CAN'T- DIE!

Kanatash: You have a very valid point, there. On the other hand, most of them just revealed their first name, or died shortly thereafter. I don't think there is much of a problem.

Liam: I hope not.
OOCrystalforged: I think you're overestimating the power of plot protection there Liam.

Liam: What do you mean? I've studied the crew, none of them ever die, they just fade into the background.

OOCrystalforged: Ok, for one, that’s not strictly true. Remember Aerith/Brianna? They're dead, supposedly permanently. True, that was a plot device created by their progenitor entity but still. More importantly you have to remember that crewmembers die all the time, just look at Dooj, he's been taken out dozens of times. The only reason they keep coming back is that one or more of the entities care enough about them to bring them back, if an entity doesn't care to bring them back the stay dead.


Liam: I hope you're right...

OOCrystalforged: Trust me, there have been dozens of named characters slaughter on board that haven't come back.

Kanatash: :bored: Trust you? That seems like a recipe for disaster.

OOCrystalforged: (SLAP) Don't get mouthy on me boy, your bothering me.

Kanatash: (icy stare) We'll "discuss" that later, I've got a class to get to now.



If you're interested in taking part in this mess, where can you start? I actually wouldn't mind reading 113 pages of awesome, but it's still 113 pages.

(The wiki didn't help. At all.)
OOC: Yeah, the threads getting pretty intimidating at this point. I would suggest reading maybe the last 5-10 pages then just jumping in and getting involved now and then maybe reading through the rest of it when you have the time and/or inclination. As to getting involved I would say the best course is to create a character of your own, usually the stranger the better around here. Once you have your own character I would suggest getting him/her/it involved in a plotline be it one of your own making or someone else’s. From what I've seen that’s the best way to get a character noticed. As to what to post, well that's up to you but often it can be as simple as how your character would respond to the current situation. Happy Posting, please deposit your soul in the bin on your left.

P.S. Oh, and don't forget to check the crew section of the wiki if you want to use some of the more prominent characters in your posts, particuarly the ubers, though if the character isn't specificly "claimed" by anyone I doubt people will care what you do with them.
Paulon

08-04-06, 12:30 AM		Are you kidding? I get most of my best ideas at work. I can't post them there (no internet and the whole on-the-clock thing), but after the first few posts I did, only the most crucial things merited me doing any real planning beforehand. Maybe that's just me.

I didn't say I don't have ideas, just that I don't have the time to write them up adequately. I've been involved in this kind of thing in the past, and I know how long it takes me to write worthwhile contributions.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-04-06, 12:34 AM		I didn't say I don't have ideas, just that I don't have the time to write them up adequately. I've been involved in this kind of thing in the past, and I know how long it takes me to write worthwhile contributions.Awwwwww...

We need new people to torme-I mean...uh...new posters. Yeah...new posters... :shifty: :angelhide
rampant

08-04-06, 01:38 AM		Robrands - Lady Serene, may I inquire as to how a gentle personage fell into such rough company?

Serene - What do you mean?

Robrands - :eek: ... I mean it must be dangerous for a beautifull woman such as yourself to be constantly surrounded by murderous scoundrels.

Serene - Oh no the rest of the crew has been very nice to me.

Satnak - :D (i.h.h. even micheal can behave with the threat of brutal castration hanging over him)

Robrands - What about all the trouble these rapscallions get into?

Serene - I tend to avoid fighting, Satnak protects me.

Robrands - I see. (i.h.h. so she's protected by the terrible titan)

Satnak - (i.h.h. feh this kids a weakling no threat to serene) I gotta go feed the cat, and the dragon.

Serene - Which one is fluffy again?

Satnak - heh heh -hugs serene- later.
exit

Robrands - i say pretty shoddy of her to leave like that what kind of bodygaurd is she?

Serene - She's not, she's my girlfriend.

Robrands - Oh. (i.h.h. thats right girls call each other that)

Serene - (i.h.h. good now he wont try to persue me and Satnak won't flatten him) Pass the funny bready things.

Robrands - THe crepes?

Serene - Yeah thats what she called them.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-04-06, 02:15 AM		OOKaizer: I just noticed we've hit over 100,000 views! This calls for something special...hmmmmm... :thinks: :lightbulb I'll do my special happy dance! :dancin:

OORei: :eek: For the love of all that is holy, stop that!!! :gah:

OOUrial: :banghead: MY EYES! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY EYES!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!! :surrender

OOKaizer: It wasn't that bad... :allalone:
igotsmeakabob!!

08-04-06, 02:21 AM		WOW thats alot of pages...
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-04-06, 06:50 AM		OOKaizer: I just noticed we've hit over 100,000 views! This calls for something special...hmmmmm... :thinks: :lightbulb I'll do my special happy dance! :dancin:

OORei: :eek: For the love of all that is holy, stop that!!! :gah:

OOUrial: :banghead: MY EYES! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY EYES!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!! :surrender

OOKaizer: It wasn't that bad... :allalone:
OOcat: Hey, I liked it. In fact, let me add my talents in—

WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM! WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM! WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!

OOcat: *groan*

Bunny: Now you know how I hate violence that doesn't result in death, so don't make me do that again.
cypher_zero

08-04-06, 09:25 AM		OOC: This Thread will never die!!!! :evillaugh:
rampant

08-04-06, 09:54 AM		OOC: Normally 100,000 hits gets a picture of one of the hot characters posing. Too bad for you guys I can't draw :P .
---------------------------------------------

Kithle - What the hell is this? Sweet Kybher Why am I wearing thong?

Marish - Better question why not me?
------------------------------

OOC: :D I'm a Stinker.

----------------------------------

Robrands - Lady Serene, I would-

Serene - I'm sorry, but The lunch hour is almost over, could you run and get some campers to finish this off its a bit of a walk to the next class.
-exits-

Robrands - accursed timetables... Hey Nemisis, Piffany, Ernest get over her I scored some real food.
cypher_zero

08-04-06, 10:26 AM		OOC: Actually, I'm something of an artist myself. I might try and draw Serene later.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-04-06, 11:31 AM		OOC: Does it count as fan art if it's only in your head? Cause if it does, I think I have a serious problem. I have everything from standard fan service to sweet to kick-awesome bouncing around in there, and I can't show anyone :weep: . I really need to learn how to draw eventually...

IC:

Gabrielle: (the elf girl from before) Do you have any idea how unhealthy this stuff is?

:coolcthul : Yeah, but the Munchies will not be satisfied by anything less.

Linus: Where'd you get all this?

:coolcthul : You'll learn that next class.

The group stands around a table covered in all manner of junk food. Chips, pork rinds, cookies, cheetos, and the like.

Melinda: (Kalashtar girl from before) *looks a pork rinds* You expect me to eat that? I think I'm gonna hurl...

Durgoth: (half-orc boy from before) That's the problem with you psychics. No constitution.

Melinda: :mad: What did you say?!

:coolcthul : Now, now, calm down. Trust me, this is all you'll want to eat after a few puffs of the magic leaf.

(about 1/2 an hour later)

The group is deep into the pile as white smoke fills the air. They lounge about on several conveniently placed couches and recliners.

Durgoth: Dude...

Gabrielle: I totally know what you mean.

Melinda: Hey, hey, check this out. What...what if our whole world...is like...a giant videogame.

Gabrielle: Whoa. You just, like, blew my mind.

Durgoth: That's deep stuff there, man.

Linus: *puff* What if we exist only as electrons on a vast network of information? And further, what if our existance is solely for the amusement of a bunch of nerds?

Gabrielle: Whoa! That's, like, wicked awesome, dude.

Melinda: Word.

Durgoth: I think you're trippin', man.

:coolcthul : (I.h.h.) This one has progressed further than expected. He already grasps the truth of our world and he doesn't even realize it.
------------
Gabrielle: Female Elf Cleric of Arawai 4, Domains: Life, Plant

Melinda: Female Kalashtar Wilder 6

Durgoth: Male Half-orc Barbarian 3
Endless_Helix

08-04-06, 11:59 AM		Poor Kithle... I'll have to immortalize his terror.

I apologize in advance... :D
rampant

08-04-06, 08:13 PM		Ernest - (munching on the last turkey leg) So that was Serene, no wonder you got it so bad, she is hot.

Piffany - Yeah, Like glad she doesn't live anywhere near home, I'd never stand a chance.

Nemisis - *scarfing the crepes* too bad for you she's already in a relationship

Robrands - WHAT!? :eek: :confused: how do you know that?

Nemisis - You learn to read people in my line of work, admittedly love isn't my specialty... but she sends off all sorts of alarm bells.

Shadow - Like what?

Nemisis - You know that sword she carries?

Robrands - Many bards carry swords.

Nemisis - Her scabbard is locked, you never see her hold it as if ready to draw, she avoids fighting, notice how she is always the first to stop a fight? I'd say that sword is a gift, from someone special, the same person who gave her that gem in her bracelet. She gets the same slightly dreamy look in her eye when she touches them. Find out where she got those and you will find out who she is seeing.

Robrands - By the Mockery's eye sockets this will not stand I will find this unworthy brute who stands in my path and flay them alive.
Rei32491

08-04-06, 10:00 PM		A notice hangs near the entrance to a field. It reads: "earn your safety by getting named and stated" by Counselor Nalfein.

In very, very small letters at the bottom, obscured by a small tree, it also reads: "by stepping onto this field, you forfeit all claims to life for the duration of the exercise"

Nalfein: Hello and welcome to "The Art of Not Being Seen". Those of you who survive will receive the privalege of having your names and stats shown to the Entities, providing you a small amount of protection from the crew. This is, however, not mean't as a permanent guarantee of your safety. The Entities reserve the right to smite you when and where it is funny.

Girl 1: *raises her hand* What, exactly, does this test entail?

Girl 2: Weren't you paying attention? Don't be seen!

Girl 1: Yeah, but, why don't we want to be seen?

Nalfein: An excellent question. You see, I have a spellbook full of Fireballs, a complete disregard for spells per day limits, and an itchy trigger finger.

All: :eek:

Nalfein: You have 5 minutes to hide. *leaves*

(five minutes later)

Nalfein: *returns* Is everyone ready?

Boy: *from somewhere near a tree* Yes!

*KAFWOOOOOOOOMMMM*

Nalfein: Now you see the value of not being seen. Before we begin, I'm going to take roll.

Looking through the signup sheet, he picks out a name at random.

Nalfein: Peter?

Boy: *behind a bush* Yes?

*KAFWOOOOOOOOMMMM*

Nalfein: Helen?

Girl: *in a shallow ditch* Gulp...

*KAFWOOOOOOOOMMMM*

Nalfein: George?

Boy: Oh shi-!

*KAFWOOOOOOOOMMMM*

Nalfein: Tessa?

*silence*

Nalfein: Tessa has learned the first lesson of not being seen. Not to speak up. Let's get around of applause for her, shall we?

*hesitant clapping eminates from several locations, followed quickly by the immolation of said locations*

Nalfein: :devil: :evillaugh :mage:

OOC: That's all for now. More later. :plotting:
rampant

08-04-06, 10:28 PM		Campers - It itches it itches

boomboomboomboomboomboomboomboom

Nalfien - Who rigged my field with delayed action itch powder bombs?

Disarray - That would be me shortfuse.

Nalfien - *fir-

Dissarray - *click*

Nalfien - THE ITCHING OH GODS THE ITCHING!!
Rei32491

08-04-06, 11:15 PM		Nalfein: *Prestidigitation* (to himself) Ahhhhh...much better. I'll have to find out who that was. But I'll take care of that later. (out loud) Ok, children, we'll stop for a moment. Come out so I can get that powder off you.

*nothing happens*

Nalfein: *smiles evily* Very good. You have passed the second test. But you still have one problem.

A palpable sense of dread decends upon the field.

Nalfein: :devil: How long can you stay still...? All that powder should be nigh unbearable. The constant itching...unable to move...unable to scratch...

Boy: *snap* :twitch: GAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

*KAFWOOOOOOOOMMMM*

Nalfein: Normally, I'd just wait here all night, but your next class is coming up...

The dread is replaced with a small amount of relief.

Nalfein: ...in two hours. :evillaugh

Girl: WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! :surrender :weep:

*KAFWOOOOOOOOMMMM*

Nalfein: (i.h.h.) Maybe I won't hunt that guy down. One good Fireball ought to do it. I'll buy him a drink afterwards for this wonderful opportunity...
Gladius_Lucix

08-04-06, 11:43 PM		Advanced Magi. Sci., Day 2

Liam: Welcome back, everyone. I'm glad to see you survived the night. Today we're-

Griswald: Blowing stuff up?

Liam: Shut up, Griswald. There are two directions of Magi. Sci.: Starting with Magic and applying Scientific principles, and starting with Science and introducing Magic.

We'll start today with science, and then gradually add the magic. Let's start with Motion. The biggest magical tool in this case is teleportation, but there are other useful magicks, including the grease spell. Do you remember the perpetual motion device I described yesterday?

Entire Class: Yes.

Liam: That is a more advanced application. As I mentioned, grease is very useful in Magi. Sci. applications. It makes whatever area or object it is cast on almost completely frictionless. Now, your task for today is to create something useful, involving the grease spell. For expediency, each group will be given wands of grease, major creation, and fabricate. Now, get to work.
cypher_zero

08-05-06, 12:00 AM		New to the list of classes:

Teacher: Terrek
Classes:
“The Art of Subtlety”
“Benevolent Rulership”

Teacher: Random Redshirt
Classes:
“Staying Alive on the Forgotten Freedom”
“Who Will Kill You, Who Might Kill You, and Who Won’t Kill You if You Run Fast Enough”
“Best Hiding Spots”
“Spells That May Save Your Life”
“What’s the Significance of Names?”

OOC: Have fun with the Redshirt Classes!
.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-05-06, 12:10 AM		Teacher: TerrekAHEM! He doesn't get to leave till he's done with showing his guests around. :waits: ;)
cypher_zero

08-05-06, 12:21 AM		OOC: *sigh* How often do I have to remind you of the morphic time properties of Terrek's plane? He can be on the FF and there at the "same" time. :P
.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-05-06, 12:26 AM		OOC: I know, I know. I was just trying to get you to continue with them. A little "nudge" so to speak. Apparently didn't work as intended. :doh:

*sigh* They'll be gone till September at this rate... :raincloud
cypher_zero

08-05-06, 12:29 AM		OOC: I know what you were trying to do. Do you think Terrek (I) got to be a Master of Subtlety without being able to recognize it?

Anyways, I just stared my new job so I haven't had time the past couple of days. Will be posting the next part sometime tomorrow afternoon.
.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-05-06, 12:54 AM		OOC: I know what you were trying to do. Do you think Terrek (I) got to be a Master of Subtlety without being able to recognize it?Meh. I have a hard time with subtlety if I'm not face to face with someone. When Satnak started with the pearl, rampant had to give me something like three or four "nudges" to get the point across. Seems obvious to me now, but...meh. :)
rampant

08-05-06, 03:30 AM		OOC: :rolleyes: You see what I have to work with ;)
-----------------------------------------------------------

Satnak - what a day, honestly what are kids learning in school these days?, not a one of them knew the second thing about dirty fighting.

Serene - Second thing?

Satnak - "Your opponent can and will use your tricks against you."

Serene - that sounded like a quote

Satnak - Its also the third rule of combat for breakers, the first two are "don't lose control", and "break their legs". I need to work on control...

Serene - Control this :D *tickle barrage*

Satnak - Heh ha ha ha come ha here ha you ha ha.

Squirrel postal worker - SQUEAK

Satnak - Huh?

Serene - Oh what is it?

SP worker - Chirr-rrup

Serene - a package?!

Satnak - :rolleyes: perfect timing *SARCASM*

Serene - Its from that Robrands boy.

Satnak - What does he want?

Serene - It says "To lady Serene, in thanks for a wondeful repast."

Satnak - Hey I made that! Do you know how long it takes to track down a wild turkey?

Serene - Oh don't get huffy he probably just got things a little confused.

Satnak - Feh, what is it?

Serene - I can't get past the tape.

Satnak - Here *glare*

the tape wilts off

Serene - Oh its a Snow globe of his home town.
urial angel of death

08-05-06, 12:10 PM		Volrath stands before a group of students in the lowwer deck.

Volrath: Welcome this is a class on how to survive a fight against opponent that you can't kill. Along that wall are weapons to choose from. You may take four and as much ammo as you like. I will give you ten minutes to hide inthese maze like halls and then begin hunting you. Begin!

Most of the campers grab for the massively powerful weapons such as vopral greatswords, speed wounding scimitars, and warhammers of flame burst.

After everyone else is done a little kobold boy picks up several tanglefoot bags, a wand of superior invisiblity, a wand of dimesion door, and several vials of soveriegn glue.

random camper: Why did you get wimpy stuff like that?

kobold: He said that he couldn't be killed.

random camper: He might think that, but I'll show him.

Kobold: I'd prefer not to take chances.

The campers all run into hallways to hide.

OOC: to be continued.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-05-06, 12:16 PM		Completely pleased with himself, Robrand wanders about the campground. As he rounds a corner, a small boy knocks him over.

Robrand: Hey! Watch where you're going!

Linus: Whoa, sorry, man. I totally didn't, like, see you there.

Robrand: *getting up* Are you stoned or something?

Linus: Very. Want some?

Robrand: No! Get away from me.

Linus: C'mon, man. This is great stuff! It let's you see all kinds of thi-

He pauses in mid sentence as his eyes glaze over.

Linus: The love you persue will only end in heartbreak. And skull break. And femur break. And...*shakes his head* I love you man. *gives Robrand a BIG hug*

Robrand: Gack! Unwashed hippie! I've been violated!
rampant

08-05-06, 02:46 PM		Disarray - HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE :D
KABOOM

A blue powder streams forth and coats the entire area.

Satnak - Bloody Mol that itch. :eek: ..es, DESEREA! :mad:

Disarray - AWwwwwwwww how many times do I have to tell you not to use that name in public.

Satnak - What public everyone else is busy finding a lake jump into.

Serene - (gotta love prestidigitation) Hello, is this a friend of yours?

Satnak - Oh yeah, This is Disarray the best 'ficer this side of a hammer. Which by the way she's not allowed to handle outside a workshop.

Disarray - One incident an they never let you forget.

Satnak - You imploded a city block, they still haven't figured out how it happened. Forbes even restricted your armory access to non-bludgeoning weapons.

Disarray - :P feh, who's this?

Satnak - THis is Serene, my... :embarrass girlfriend.

Disarray - ... Finally, i was worried about you.

Disarray - Changeling Psi-ficer 15/Renegade mastermaker 10/ Greenstar adept 10(sub deep crystal for star metal)/ Warshaper 5 Always equipped with enough itch powder and detonators to coat a medium sized continent. Warning bad things happen when it gets around hammers, great cosmic disasters, keep blunt objects at a safe distance when outside of a lab or forge. Disarray is ... well, just keep it away from the hammers.
rampant

08-05-06, 03:53 PM		Satnak - What are you doing here?

Disarray - Forbes sent me to deliver someone, I can't tell you who its a surprise.

Satnak - *Forehead palm* bloody mol

Disarray - She still a chili fiend? ;)

Serene - Oh yes I have no idea where she puts it all. ;)

Disarray - I remember one time when she was 14 she wasn't paying attention and nearly ate the bowl. I even have a picture.

Disarray pulls a square pad, and lays it flat against her palm, a 3-d picture of a young Satnak minus the tail, gemstone eyes, and grey skin marks forms in the air above. THe image shows young Satnak with a mouthful of pewter, just realizing something is wrong.

Serene - OHhahahahahahaha...heeeeeee. She's so cute.

Satnak - :embarrass
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-05-06, 04:28 PM		Sa'vor scowls and brushes intching powder off his form. luckly for him he'd used one of the Redshirts as a shield. Sa'vor watched the redshirt scream and writhe in pain on the ground.

Redshirt: HOST HELP ME!!! GODS ! THE ITCHING ! IIIITTTTTTTTT BURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSS!!!

Sa'vor walked away from the redshirt, who ever he was he most likely deserved the fate he was suffering. Sa'vor felt that dark forbodeing he always felt before somthing bad happened, it had been tugging at his mind for a while now, it was even beggining to stop him sleeping.
In deepest moments of the nigh, when only he and the sentries where awake he heard the tourtured screams of Tara's nightmares, Even though she said she was fine Sa'vor knew that they where getting worse. and from the tourtured look in Naz'roths eyes his nightmares where getting worse.
Sa'vor felt the memories of his past flow before him, all he could see was hatred and pain, very few happy memories where there. he ran a hand along one of the many scars on his face, lessons of the past. he felt the crackle of eldritch power in his hands, he looked down at them. clenching and unclenching them.

Sa'vor: (i.h.h)Was all of this really worth it? is this power worth all the effort? what am i trying to achieve with this power?

Nothing. came the answer from the darkest depths of his mind. You have achieved nothing, you are nothing but a soldier, a mindless slave to a worthless cause. all that effort to get where you are is in Vain. all you have is the bitter memories and the deep dark hatred within you

Sa'vor: the what is my purpose?

destroy the prophecy, become free willed.

Sa'vor: I... i cant. We are nothing without it

WRONG. You dont need it! IT needs YOU.

Sa'vor: how so?

Your belife makes it strong, gives it power. belive in yourself or anyother god and its power will lessen.

Sa'vor: what will happen if i dont?

Most likely why you've seen in the future. Destruction. Desolation. one by one your companions and friends will fall around you. you will loose everything you care about, is that how you should be rewarded?

Sa'vor: no. NO it is not.

Whom do you serve?

Sa'vor: Myself

Sa'vor removed his gauntlet and stared at the mark on his hand. He created a fire before him and plunged his hand into it, He watched as the flesh burned from his hand. no longer would he bear the mark of lies. Sa'vor felt a rush of energy lance through him, He was free! but at what cost?
Sa'vor frowned, if the prophecy did require belife then it would most likely send one of its followers to eliminate him. it couldnt have people know the truth. before his eyes his skin regenerated, this time without the mark. with a quick motion he banished the flames and flexed his newly regenerated hand.
within him a new hatered fromed, the Prophecy would pay dearly for making it his slave... one way or another....
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-05-06, 05:33 PM		13: I am so glad I don't exist anymore. Otherwise I'd pretty much have to help him.

Silver: Agreed. I hate prophecies too.

Bunny: Yup. What's the fun of a death if you know it's coming?
rampant

08-05-06, 05:54 PM		Robrands - When I find out who's been spreading this vile powder I'll...i'll...I'll sic Nemisis on them.
-------------------------------------

Chalky - Gah! teh itchies

Kithle - Consider yourself lucky, I hadn't finished sneaking back from that *SHUDDER* thong incident.

------------------------------------

Disarray - Ooooh shiney, gotta go, see ya

Serene - :confused:

Satnak - She does that everytime she's about to cause trouble.

---------------------------------------

Disarray - Your so cyute, come here wittle fuzzy bear.

Roosevelt - HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Kaizer_Ryu

08-05-06, 07:36 PM		Disarray - Your so cyute, come here wittle fuzzy bear.

Roosevelt - HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!*THOCK THOCK*

Darts whip out of a panel in the wall, striking Disarray as s/he hugs Roosevelt.

Disarray: The hell? Trap darts, eh?

Roosevelt: Poisoned darts, and why aren't you dead?

Disarray: They missed my skin. They just hit some of the...oh hell... *drops Roosevelt* Itchy...itchy...ITCHYITCHYITCHYITCHYITCH YITCHYITCHY!!!!!!!!

Roosevelt: :devil:
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-05-06, 08:01 PM		I suppose I can get in on the classes:

Bunny
Ways to insult Really, Really Powerful people and get away with it
Making Alchemist's fire, the Pholly way!
Bad puns, bad grammer, and being overly dramatic

Silver
Advanced Breeding techniques
Fertility rituals
Brewing

13
10 secret ways to drive someone insane that Kantash doesn't want you to know about!
Prophecy and omens, or, How much will they swallow?
Messing with the E.B.N.E.s
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-05-06, 08:32 PM		Chanse Random
Art history [no point stealing anything thats wortthless / too hard to fence ]
Mathematics [To know when your fence is skimming off the top]
Games club [gambing front]
Politics [sweet chayos, soothing anarchy :evillaugh ]

Danyels and Jack (The 2 Booze paraelementals in disguise I mentoned a while back )
Founders of the Forgoten freadom Temperence Leage and Sasparila Club, curently looking to recrut children to an unspecifyed plan againgst erik's place using soft drinks laced with illegal narcotics.
Crystalforged

08-06-06, 12:23 AM		Danyels and Jack (The 2 Booze paraelementals in disguise I mentoned a while back )
Founders of the Forgoten freadom Temperence Leage and Sasparila Club, curently looking to recrut children to an unspecifyed plan againgst erik's place using soft drinks laced with illegal narcotics.
Kanatash: (appearing from nowhere) Slight flaw in that plan boys.

Danyels: SWEET BUD! Where did you come from?!

Kanatash: Nowhere. Since before my entity wrote me into to existance just now I did not, as such, exist.

Danyels and Jack: :uh-huh:

Jack: Wha, how...

Kanatash: I just came out of head. (points behind him)

OOCrystalforged appears for a behind Kanatash in a puff of smoke, waves at the elementals, and dissipears again.

Danyels: I've got no idea whats going on here.

Kanatash: What I was trying to say is that your plan to put illegal narcotics in the drinks at Erk's place won't work.

Jack: And why not?

Kanatash: What do you think they've been spiking their drinks with BEFORE now? Hell, if you manage to actually slip something really GOOD in there they'll probably drink MORE.

Danyels: ...

Jack: ...****.

Kanatash: And now that my bussiness is concluded with you I will summon my associate, OH MURDAIN!

Jack and Danyels: :eek: RUN AWAY! (flees in terror)

Kanatash: (Murdain does not appear) **** those guys are easy to mess with.
rampant

08-06-06, 12:31 AM		Disarray - You tried to kill me, itchy.

Roosevelt - yep :D

Disarray - That is so adorable, itchy. *HUG*

Roosevelt - Let go you crazy witch. You're getting itch all over me.
--------------------------------------------------

Satnak - Serene, a little warning my friends from school are a little wild. Alot of them don't realize how fragile most humanoids really are. Disarray is a prime example, Dis was Born on the island when Forbes had just started construction. s/he grew up amongst the workers and teachers as they were putting the place together, s/he's been hanging around the strongest and the wierdest since day 1. Dis is about as gentle as a rockslide, be careful, i don't want to see you tossed through a building as part of one of he/r experiments, or crushed by a flying tackle hug.

Serene - All right i'll be cautious, now where were we :D

Satnak - Robrands had sent you a meal gift.

Serene - Meal gift?

Satnak - I think thats what it is, is it not customary to bring a gift when one partakes of another's food. Likely the custom is a little different here, I was begining to think that the rules in this case were different, turns out the timing is the only thing thats changed.

Serene - Maybe its a custom from his home? (i.h.h. is she serious or is she trying to ignore him)

Satnak - Maybe? who cares we have better things to do -Hugs serene- (i.h.h. I'm gonna have to deal with Robrands, she'll worry if he just disapears I'm gonna have to talk the little runt down uhg)
---------------------------

Robrands - Why is my spine tingling? Oh well back to the planning.

Robrands is writing/drawing in a book labled "plans for winning her heart"
Gladius_Lucix

08-06-06, 12:39 AM		OOGladius: Imploded a city block with a hammer, eh? Liam, we're going to meet this guy!

Liam: *sigh* I'm a bit busy, now. I'm in the middle of class, if you hadn't noticed

The campers are staring at OOGladius.

OOGladius: Um... Continue, please. Don't mind me, I'm from the other side of non-existance.

Liam: Now, let's look at what we have. Windmill, water wheel, water wheel, windmill, take that to Silver, windmill, windmill, water wheel, water wheel. Okay, if you made a windmill or a water wheel, you pass the challenge and are dismissed.

Most of the class leaves, with only Griswald and antother camper remaining.

Liam: I should have figured. What did you make?

Griswald: A ballista.

Liam: Expected. What's greased?

Griswald: All moving parts, and the track where the bolt rests.

Liam: Okay. It's good. Get going.

Other Camper: What about mine?

Liam: What's your name?

Camper: Gabriel.

Liam: Okay. Didn't I tell you to show that to Silver?

Gabriel: Oh, yeah. See ya.
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-06-06, 02:32 AM		Sa'vor stood before a gathered class of campers, within him the fires of his rage had died out after almost an hour of ploting. now all that flowed within his veins was calm. Sa'vor exaimined the campers before him, all of them where not particularly enthusiastic about this lesson or where crude bullies, Sa'vor sighed. it looked like it would be more difficult than anticipated to teach these people how to fight.

Sa'vor: No doubt you've all seen Satnaks combat style yes?

( they nod)

Sa'vor: Good. What do you know of combat?

Random camper: its violent?

Another Random camper: Its a vicious and brutal engagment of violent tendencies?

Sa'vor: Both true, But Combat: Fighting; warfare are all the same thing but on different scales. to understand warfare on a personal level is to understand the poetry of the blade, the perfection of the stances, the pure beauty of destruction. It is true that brutal combatants often seem the most deadly, with ferocious attacks and impossible strength, But equaly deadly is the graceful lightfooted combatant. It will be my purpose in these classes to teach you my style of combat so that in future conflicts you are prepared for what awaits you.

Sa'vor manifested his Mind blade in the form of a Kama.

Sa'vor: your objective today will be to learn the following stances by heart, at the end of the lesson i will pit you against each other in the arena. The aim will be to kill your opponent, i will award you points for style and inventiveness. points will be deducted for any use of magic within the arena.

a camper raises his hand,

Sa'vor: Yes?

Camper: isnt the aim to learn? We cant learn if we die

Sa'vor: *evil smile* then you better not die.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-06-06, 02:46 AM		OOC: Question: At what point does the crew get credit for single handedly (so to speak) preventing the resurgence of the Last War, or any new war for that matter, simply by being the only sentients left alive? :D
rampant

08-06-06, 03:37 AM		OOC: when there is no one left to pillage?
-------------------------------------------------

Chalky - IF i work thi itch powder into a glue/paint bomb the target will scratch and spread the glue...(insert maniacle laughter)
--------------------------------------------------

Robrands - Mr. Kithlemin I understand that the going ons of this ship are your perview.

Kithle - That depends on what's in it for me.

Robrands - Of course, this is a list of the campers' various weaknesses and fears, notice that nemisis has a marked aversion to high places. An enterprising jerk could do horrible things.

Kithle - Ok what do you want in exchange?

Robrands - Who is Serene getting her items from, more specifically who is my romantic rival?

Kithle - (i.h.h. how do I use this to get my plaque back? of course ... with the truth :D ) Serene recieved the bracelet gem, and her sword from Satnak the breaker prime, and you have no romantic rival (i.h.h. since for you to have a rival you would have to be competing which you aren't Satnak "won" well before you came along). Now get out.

---------------------------

Nemisis - Hehe thanks for helping me help this punk dig his own grave, thelook on his face is gonna be priceless.

KIthle - I owe Kanatash a few favors, oh speaking of priceless looks. *teleport circle*

Kithle - Welcome to Needle Peak, bye *teleport*

Nemisis - :eek:
----------------------

Kithle - when do I get my plaque back? :mad:
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-06-06, 03:45 AM		Some how i just know Chalkys going to use that on Sa'vor....
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-06-06, 03:58 AM		*Later*

Sa'vor moved through the dark streets, his cloak drawn around him and his hood pulled far over his face, leaving only pools of inky blackness. Sa'vor ghosted over the ground beneath him, moving like a wraith. Silent. Sa'vor watched the person he was shadowing, He knew that he would be extremely obvious. of course it was all part of the plan. The Cloaked figure he was shadowing went down an ally near a construction site, Perfect. Sa'vor moved in, Manifesting a Kama in each hand. The cloaked figure turned to face him, drawing a long sword marked with a symbol of the Silver flame.

Rothren: Have at you Rogue! by the flames of silver and the will of the prophecy you shalt be slain

Sa'vor smirked evilly and lowered his hood. he put on a defensive stance, awaiting the first attack. Rothren lunged forwards, Sa’vor parried effortlessly and both began to circle each other. Sa’vor attempted an uppercut on Rothren who sidestepped and caused a glancing blow against Sa’vors side. Sa’vor Retaliated with a quick succession of speedy attacks before once again going on the defensive. Rothren Feigned to the left, and struck right. Scoring a glancing blow on Sa’vors left arm, By now both combatants had minor wounds. Sa’vor began a series of elegant attacks, moving with the grace of a Harlequin. Diving, Dodging, weaving, every third blow struck his hampered opponent. Rothren Made a Ferocious attack against the dancing figure, whom faded into the shadows. Only to reappear and strike with renewed intensity. Rothren pulled himself together , and focused his will. He began to drive Sa’vor back with blow after blow, soon Sa’vor was forced back onto the defensive. Rothren stepped away from him and silver flames coursed along his blade, Sa’vors eyes (Now green since his soul was returned) widened in fear.

Rothren: Not so tough now are …

Unfortunately for the paladin his remark was cut short by a large masonry block crushing him.
Sa’vor chuckled to himself. Didn’t even see it coming. Sa’vor Drew his hood over his face once again and disappeared into the darkness.

Sa’vor: (I.h.h) One down…
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-06-06, 08:25 AM		Roosevelt -…You're getting itch all over me.
Bunny: Construct = not possible.

OOcat: Are we really going to care about rules at this point?

NJ26: HEY! When are we going to do something?!

OOcat: Genius doesn't work on a time-table.
cypher_zero

08-06-06, 08:44 AM		OOcat: Genius doesn't work on a time-table.
OOC: I second that.
rampant

08-06-06, 10:40 AM		OOC: Disarray is a construct so she shouldn't be affected by the powder either, so nyeh :P . ITs just that itchy.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-06-06, 12:18 PM		Danyels: "We need a plan."
Jack: "We have a plan." produces a damp beer mat on witch has been written
Arive on the Forgotten fredom
? ? ?
Stop them drinking, saving the plane of booze.
Danyels: "we need a better plan."
Jack: We need some Glass Levels, show some bottle before its Last orders for us."
Danyels: "Are you draft? Were sentient vats of flamable intoxicants, we go anywhere theres fire or mouths we may as well tap our own kegs."
Jack: "Ok ok dont pop your cork bud, why dont we spike the sasparilla? Kids get adicted and they stay off the hooch."
Danyels "You have all the head of a cup of mead-"
Jack "no need to be brewed."
Danyels "Cork it. I just had a sparking idea. why dont we spike the sasparilla, give it a catchy name and serve on the rocks ? Kids get adicted and they stay off the hooch, we can call it Cnota-Cola See this is why Im in charge and your just a chaser.

OOC Eled: The events and activitys represented in this post in no way reflect any activity of any corprations in existance or not, past present or future. And we thank the Coca-cola company for there understanding and legal restraint.
rampant

08-06-06, 01:15 PM		Robrands - Nemisis was wrong, those were gifts from her friend Satnak, what a brutish monster like her and a Lady of true grace like Serene have in common I'll never know.

Ernest - Well then whats your next move?

Robrands - Flowers of course.
----------------------------------

Serene - This is getting out of hand, I better find Robrands before Satnak does.

-----------------------------------

Satnak - YOU!

Robrands - What is your business here?

Satnak - I want you to lay off Serene.

Robrands - What ever do y-hgk

Satnak has picked him up by the neck.

Satnak - Leave her alone, you little weasel, that sword means she's with me so step off little boy. *drop*

Robrand - *thud*

Ernest - Burned :D
rwarner3701

08-06-06, 03:45 PM		The wiki is still very much incomplete. Most of the characters are listed but they hardly cover the entire experiance of the crew since they were created. The plot lines are only about half posted and very few have been edited.

So far the plot line section has been mostly a copy of what is posted here seperated from the rules and unrelated comments to make it easier to read. Unfortunatly it hasnt really decrease the amount there is to read. Perhaps we need a summary to give a more general understanding of everything that has gone on without going into specifics.

The Plot lines section of the Wiki is (for the most part) accurate. I've seen a few missed/cut spots, but it's not necessary to read every last bit.

I tried not to cut anything but moved some stuff around to make it fit a bit more when there were overlapping plots going on at the same time. Anyting specific missing that needs to be fixed you can pm me or feel free to change it.

Although the desciptors and titles disapper after the 43rd page of the wiki plots it is actually up to the 66th page and growing when I have time to paste it in. This only covers up to around page 75 of the thread missing out on most of the more recent things.

If anyone wants to help with the wiki but doen't know how to edit pages I can kind of explain it if you want to pm or email me. rwarner85@msn.com
Endless_Helix

08-06-06, 07:26 PM		Jarlot: Good evening campers.

Robrand: Hey, there's only about half of us left.

Piffany: That's so sad...

Jarlot: HEY! SHUT IT YOU LITTLE *****!

Ernest: Heh, Jarlot-burn.

---

Redshirt X: My name will be left unrevealed. I am appearing to you by way of an illusion spell. My actually position is also going to be left unrevealed, but know this. I will help you to survive your time on this ship. My heartfelt number one rule is: GET OFF AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

SFXdemon: scritch, scritch

*The students studiously take down notes.*

Redshirt X: Alright, I'll begin with general survival skills. Number One: Always be prepared to run. There is no shame in surviving. Against 99% of the crew, you've got so small a chance of winning that you will die every time, if you fight. Dimension Door spells, Coward's Pearls, Spider Climb, Obscuring mist, Teleport, Dimension leap, Expeditious Retreat, Rope Trick, Teleport without Error, Fly, Overland Flight, Invisibility, Greater Invisibility, Rings of Invisibility, Ethereal Jaunt, Astral Projection, Freedom of Movement is extremely useful; pretty much any movement orientated spell is worthwhile. Most of the crew believes that such spells are sissy, and only useful for getting into combat. They are very wrong. They are also lazy and never prepare any spell that is "utilitarian" like See Invisibility. Grease, Web, Wall of Iron, Wall of Stone, Wall of Force, even Gust of Wind, and any spell which doesn't affect the target's mind that stops them from getting to you are beautiful things. Things that give the target a chance to shake off the effect are to be avoided. Those on the ship tend to be very good at dispelling those effects. All the spells mentioned are freely available at the Library.

Girl 1 So, charm and dominate spells are out of the question?

Redshirt X: Pretty much. Number two: How to tell if someone is following you with the intent of hurting you or blackmailing you...
---
OOC: Kithle's darkest hour is coming soon to a computer near you...
urial angel of death

08-06-06, 09:45 PM		After allowing the campers time to hide Volrath enters the lowwer deck hallways.

Volrath: Here I come!

A young dwarf jumps out of a nearby shadow weilding a keen vopral scimitar. He gets lucky and slices Volrath's head clean off.

dwarf: I have defeated him. I win!

Volrath's ears begin to grow at an incredible rate. Once they reach two feet long each they begin flapping. Volrath's head climbs in the air until it is at eye level with the horrified dwarf.

Volrath: Not quite. :D

dwarf: Eeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy

The dwarf turns around and starts to run, but is cut short. Volrath's hair stretches into gigantic tendrils. They rap around the poor dwarf and slice him to pieces.

Volrath: *As he reattaches his head.* This is gonna be fun.
Gladius_Lucix

08-06-06, 10:57 PM		Liam: Why did I let you talk me into this?

OOGladius: Because I control your every move and thought.

Liam: Oh, yeah.

Liam and OOGladius are searching for Disarry, with OOGladius appearing excited and Liam exasperated. Liam is wearing an airtight suit with ten hours worth of air.

Liam: I thought the rules said that kender weren't allowed on the ship.

OOGladius: I'm just a kender in mind, not in actuality. Go loopholes! <shouting> Disarray! We'd like to talk to you!

Disarry: Yes?

OOGladius: I heard how you imploded a city block with a hammer. I want to know how.

Disarry: And why should I tell you?

Liam: You shouldn't.

OOGladius: A chance to brag to someone who hasn't heard the story?

Disarray: Nah. Ask Satnak if you want to know.

OOGladius: Okay. See ya. <shouting> SATNAK! Where are you? I want to ask you something!

----------

OOC: I would seriously like to hear the story, Rampant. Just setting it up for you if you feel like telling it.
rampant

08-07-06, 12:25 AM		Liam - How do you implode something with a hammer?

Satnak - I'm not sure s/he does anything conciously its just whenever s/he forgets to leave he/r hammers in her workshop, or absentmindedly picks one up out side an active worksite, bad things happen. One time a herd of gorgons came running down the street, another time s/he was pulling a load of pole arms and a lucerne hammer fell out, s/he put it back, then a freak earthquake hit. Another time one just exploded without even being swung. Then there was the time s/he stood next to a hammergun, it was shaking the whole time, nearly fell apart. Then there was the meteor shower. Something about h/er holding a hammer is just dangerous.

Liam - Thats silly and scary all at one.

Satnak - Disarray in one sentence. :rolleyes: Gotta go, Serene whanted to talk to me about something.
-----------------------------------

Brown robed figure - This is disturbing, I had not realized Satnak had strayed this far. This "Serene" will pay for corrupting her. Just as she saved me I must save her. Soon Tirmek, the shattered clan will rise once more.

Disarray - You sound like an RPG villian when you do that. :D
---------------------------------

OOC: Word of warning, Don't let Satnak near the OO's she might take the oppurtunity to do me serious harm. My mewtwo suit and superscope ain't gonna save me from that.
rampant

08-07-06, 12:51 AM		OOC: Cookie for the first one to geuss the identity of brown robed figure gets a cookie, use the pm system so you don't leak it before the reveal post, I will also award the cookie at that time. Now I'll know if any of you are paying attention. ;)
-------------------------

Kithle - Look all I'm saying is take your time and make sure you get it right, no need to rush, if anything this will improve the final sales.

Verbinski - Your're right of course.
---------------------------

Producers announce that The release date for the 3rd Pirates of the Carribean movie has been pushed back 5 years.

OOKaizer - :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch:

KIthle - You know what I want.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-07-06, 01:09 AM		Producers announce that The release date for the 3rd Pirates of the Carribean movie has been pushed back 5 years.

OOKaizer - :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch:

KIthle - You know what I want.
OOKaizer: Ok, OK! You win, damnit!!!! Take your freaking plaque back!

*chucks it at Kithle*

Kithle: :w00t:

OOKaizer: Now go fix what you did, or I'll make sure the thong incident is considered a happy memory... *disappears*

Kithle: ...maybe I have went a little too far with that...

He puts the plaque around his neck, and sighs like a junky after his first hit in weeks.

Kithle: :D No doubt about it, the look on his face was absolutely worth it. :D
rampant

08-07-06, 01:19 AM		Kithle - Ok untie the actors and get the show on the road.

Verbinski - but...

Kithle - you do realize your a clone i made out of convinience

Verbinski - shutting up
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-07-06, 10:24 AM		NJ26: Wow, that was some adventure.

Death Paper: We didn't go anywhere. :( Erk cancled on us at the last minute, remember? I was all set for some comic anime action, and then nothing.

NJ26: :confused: Could OOcat have cut the plotline on us?

Death Paper: What does cutting the plotline mean?

NJ26: Completley rearranging time to suit its laziness and lack of talent.

Death Paper: :mad: If I see that E.B.N.E. of your I'll—oooooo, giant birdfeeder!

OOcat: It's good to know what ADD is—ooooo, Dragon Magic!
urial angel of death

08-07-06, 07:53 PM		OOC: The real bastard is Blizzard for not making a sequal to Starcraft after 8 years. :mad: Kithle has nothing to compare with that.
cypher_zero

08-07-06, 08:01 PM		OOC: Actually they are (or at least they were) making a sequal. I think it was gonna be an FPS though.
.
urial angel of death

08-07-06, 08:07 PM		OoC: Starcraft: Ghost the FPS was canceled. Even so it was an RTS. A FPS sequal wouldn't do it justice.
cypher_zero

08-07-06, 08:13 PM		OOC: Ah! Thought so. Was never a big Starcraft fan myself. By the time I got into RTS's, Starcraft was old and Warcraft 3 had just come out. After Dawn of War though, none of the older ones compare. DoW is by far one of, if not the, best RTS's ever made. ... Curse you for getting me off onto the topic of gaming! Grrr... I was almost over my addiction! Must... Play....

. <<<< Look! It's an orange period! For spacing! Yay!
rampant

08-07-06, 09:36 PM		Kithle - I could have blizzard shut down. :D

OOC's - Shutting up now.
-------------------------------

Robrands - :confused: What the abyss was that? how can Serene be with that cretinious woman Satnak.

Nemisis - I was wondering why an obviously superior specimen had no apparent mate.

Robrands - What are you talking about.

Ernest - (in Robrands ear) psst psst whisper whisper

Robrands - :confused: :twitch: :blink: :shocked: :ghosted: :surrender

Shadow - Whish I'd known, about that would have made their classes easier for me.

Piffany - :yuck: Manipulating a boy that way is one thing but another girl?

Robrands - eh...:twitch:

Nemisis - He's gonna be out for a while.

Shadow - All ready been through his pockets.

Ernest - Lets go, leave him Nem' you really can't hurt him anymore at this point anyway.

Nemisis - Is that a challenge?

Piffany - NO, Needle peak

Nemisis - IEEEEEEE!!!
-triple exit-
---------------------------

Robrands has shifted to a slumped seated posture.

Serene - Robrands we need to talk.

Robrands - Of course Milady, we must plan the escape!

Serene - What?:uh-huh: :confused:

Robrands - Certainly a Lovely creature like you is not interested in spending the rest of her life with a cruel monster like Satnak. I'm sure we can hide from her even if we cannot find a way to defeat her.

Serene - At least you aren't stupid enough to try and challenge her for my heart or some such nonsense.

Robrands - I will defend you and your honor with my life, but I am not eager to throw it away.

Serene - What are you talking about?

Robrands - Its obvious that Satnak is using her power to intimidate you or your family into letting her keep you her, with the intent of using you for her own desires.

Serene - Your concern is touching, but you mis-understand, I love her. I've practically had to drag her up the entire way, and no one is going to ruin that for me. :mad: When you try to come between us it hurts her, I can see it in her eyes.

Robrands - How can you see anything in those souless stones.

Serene - ...:OMG :mad:

Serene steadies herself by gripping the hilt of the Gaurded Heart. Its crystal form glows slightly.

Serene - you did not just say that about her. LIsten right now, you are going to leave us alone.
-exits-

Robrands slouches back down and begins to weep.

Robrands - no :weep: it can't, *sob* be

Robrands Eyes glaze over

Robrands - I want her more, I love her more than that monster ever could, The sword its obviously a focus for some sort of mind control or perception alteration.

Eyes unglaze

Hiding in a bush

Brown Robed Figure - This one should do nicely.
Gladius_Lucix

08-07-06, 10:26 PM		Liam - How do you implode something with a hammer?

Satnak - I'm not sure s/he does anything conciously its just whenever s/he forgets to leave he/r hammers in her workshop, or absentmindedly picks one up out side an active worksite, bad things happen. One time a herd of gorgons came running down the street, another time s/he was pulling a load of pole arms and a lucerne hammer fell out, s/he put it back, then a freak earthquake hit. Another time one just exploded without even being swung. Then there was the time s/he stood next to a hammergun, it was shaking the whole time, nearly fell apart. Then there was the meteor shower. Something about h/er holding a hammer is just dangerous.

Liam - Thats silly and scary all at one.

Satnak - Disarray in one sentence. :rolleyes: Gotta go, Serene whanted to talk to me about something.

Liam: So there you go. That's the story.

OOGladius: That's sort of boring, actually.

Liam: But Disarray coming into the vicinity of a hammer should cause a spike in his/her/its Weir/Insan signature, which results in a random output of the power. The trick is finding out the reason behind the spike. If we can figure it out, we can solve the problem and cure the Disarray's "problem."

OOGladius: Well. That was quite strange to come up with on your own.

Liam ignores him, heading off to the lab to get to work.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-07-06, 10:57 PM		OOKaizer shows off his work on decorating the demi-plane from Moonpaw Creations.

OOKaizer: So? What do you think?

OOcat: Not bad. I see you're a fan of MC Escher...

OOKaizer: Yeah. They've been to so many places, I had to find something interesting to do for when they come back.

OOcat: I take it you like my gift to them.

OOKaizer: Maybe too much. This is the third incarnation. I tried a Skies of Arcadia motif, but that proved too hazardous for the kids. Then I went with a Hitchhikkers Guide theme, but it was too close to the FF. I'm thinking of trying a few other things, too.

OOcat: Let me guess. You're bored.

OOKaizer: And how.

EDIT: I just realized this could be construed to be a jab a cypher. Not so. He already knows. This is just a general statement. :D
rampant

08-07-06, 11:22 PM		OOC: I would advise you take advantage of the time morphic trait in Terrek's demiplane and the rather elastic nature of causality around the FF in general, and simply continue while cypher does the same.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-07-06, 11:37 PM		OOC: Because I want to know what purpose Terrek had for bringing them there. It's not like he needs to stroke his ego anymore.
rampant

08-07-06, 11:41 PM		OOC: *facepalm* I mean both of you continue, Kaizer as if they finished, and cypher from where he is now, using the leeway in the time space continuum that I mentioned as an explaination. ( like this thread requires any :rolleyes: )
Kaizer_Ryu

08-07-06, 11:56 PM		OOC: No, I know what you mean't, it's just that I want to know what's going to happen. It could have significant repercussions, depending on the outcome, so...yeah.
warforged_assasin

08-08-06, 09:22 AM		hey charles i got an intersting crew member for you

Ralzon Cordalion
male half-incubis
rogue5/expert5/marshal5

str15
dex13
con14
int17
wis14
cha27

6'3,garnet eyes,and has an unearthly handsomeness, and as a half-incubis you get the pic about that region and with out the shapechange bloodred wings

as a young boy in the villege he was shuned for his wings but when he hit peuberty the sucubis in him took form and he learnd to shapechange to disguise his wings all the young girls overwemled him so he left to work in sharn in a brothel (for women) till being found by andrea and being recruited by jarlot. but his heritage is more of a curse becuase of marish and the girls on the ship wont stop calling him mc'dreamy

wait.......omg he's the male version of marish

he carries masterwork bastard sword

job on ship: navigator

hobbies: beating subordnets with the chain of command v2.0(spiked chain), avoiding the female crew members, hypnotizing the female crewmembers with his eyes, and shcemeing against doog
Kaizer_Ryu

08-08-06, 11:16 AM		OOC: In an attempt to make the Wiki Plot lines more readable, I'm thinking of rewriting the storyline as a Word document and copy/pasting it from there. Would anyone mind if I corrected spelling/grammar so that it reads better? As far as grammar, it'd only be things like dropped words and punctuation.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-08-06, 12:27 PM		OOC: In an attempt to make the Wiki Plot lines more readable, I'm thinking of rewriting the storyline as a Word document and copy/pasting it from there. Would anyone mind if I corrected spelling/grammar so that it reads better? As far as grammar, it'd only be things like dropped words and punctuation.
Be careful. As screwy as it sounds, sometimes we MEAN to do that. And things like the Gram'mar aren't as funny if there aren't terrible posts.
rampant

08-08-06, 08:00 PM		Satnak - EXAM TIME

Nemisis - What the hell?

Satnak - Everybody pick a sparring partner from the bin, you will take them down without gear or weapons, and you must make physical contact at least once.

Ernest - That is a porcupine, I ain't punching no Porcupine. :ahem:

Satnak - Then grab a different sparring partner before they're gone. They just ran out of redshirts.

Nemisis - Awwwwwwwwwww.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-08-06, 08:05 PM		Be careful. As screwy as it sounds, sometimes we MEAN to do that. And things like the Gram'mar aren't as funny if there aren't terrible posts.
OOC: Good point. Guess I'll have to tell my Inner Grammar Nazi to sit down and shut up.

IGN: Nooooooo!!!! You can't do thi-mmph! *hogtied and gagged*

That should do it. :D

I think the only thing I'll do is a few touch-ups. Out of curiosity, should I keep in some of the story related OOC's? There are a few IC posts that don't make as much sense without them.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-08-06, 08:45 PM		Out of curiosity, should I keep in some of the story related OOC's? There are a few IC posts that don't make as much sense without them.
OOC: YES!
urial angel of death

08-08-06, 09:10 PM		OOC: Kaizer you have an inner grammar Nazi? :uh-huh: I always thought you were a Grammar Nazi and you had an inner human.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-08-06, 09:24 PM		OOC: Kaizer you have an inner grammar Nazi? :uh-huh: I always thought you were a Grammar Nazi and you had an inner human.
:teach: I am many things. The Kaizer you know and tolerate is not my true self. It is an elaborate facade designed to shield reality from the harmful effects of direct exposure to me. My inner human is currently crying softly in a forgotten corner of my mind as the bigger, stronger, more insane/enjoyable parts mess with each other. Now that the Grammar Nazi has been tied up, control of this outer self transfers mostly to my inner fanboy and my inner psychopath (they may be the same thing, I can't tell). The Voices gets their say as well, of course.
rampant

08-08-06, 10:10 PM		Nemisis - This is a skeleton... of a velociraptor.

Satnak - Don't bother with kicking it in the balls then.

Ernest - ITs slimy, its cold, and its humping my leg, I was better off with the porcupine.

Robrands (getting a rather energetic acupuncture session) - Don't be sure, i think this thing is some-ones animal companion.

Robrands attemps a lunging kick only to watch the porcupine pull out a quill and parry.

RObrands - Scratch animal companion, this thing is a fight instructor.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-09-06, 02:34 AM		OOC: *sigh* I guess I'll start some of the less story oriented stuff. I'll explain how they got there later, though I thought it would have been funnier to do it in order...

For future reference, no one can see them when they're doing this stuff. I mean it this time. Once the timeline sorts itself out, you'll see why.

IC:

Terra, Lisa, and OOKaizer stand in a beautiful field dotted with trees and bushes. Off in the distance to the north, a castle can just barely be made out. A large, seemingly volcanic, mountain rises further to the east.

Lisa: Why are we here, anyway?

OOKaizer: You'll see...

After a few minutes, a small dust cloud can be seen forming in the distance. It's not long before Terra can make out who is the cause of it.

Terra: *groan* What IS it with you?

OOKaizer: What? :angelhide

Lisa: Should I ask?

Terra: One clue. He's dressed in green riding a horse.

Lisa: :rolleyes: *looks a OOKaizer* Admit it. You have a problem.

Moments later, Link himself hops off Epona. OOKaizer is beside himself.

OOKaizer: :bigeyes: :D You. Are. So. AWESOME!!!! :bigeyes: :D

Navi: HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HE-

Link: *with a straight face* HYAAAA!!! HA! EIGH! YAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Terra & Lisa: *anime sweatdrop* Uhhhh...

Navi: -Y LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LIST-

OOKaizer: :D :D Isn't he amazing?! :D :D

Lisa: Um...sure...

Navi: -EN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LI-

Terra: No wonder I'm so messed up...

OOKaizer: *to Link* Can we dungeoncrawl with you? PLEASE! :bigeyes: :weep:

Navi: -STEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!

Terra: NO!!!!

Lisa: There's no Narrative Element strong enough to get us to stay around the bug any longer!

(half an hour later)

The group is solving a block puzzle while being assaulted by Keese, flying pots, and Wolfos.

Terra: :mad: I hate you.

Navi: HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTE-

OOKazier: :D
urial angel of death

08-09-06, 07:27 AM		OOC: fun fact involving link. His evil opposite (dark link) has a slightly larger vocabulary. While link can only shout and scream, dark link can also giggle.

I have no idea why I thought I needed to post that. :confused:
Crystalforged

08-09-06, 11:54 AM		OOC: :drool: Ooooooh... Link... Zelda... Must insert self...

Heads off in Kaizer's direction but suddenly walks into the invisible 5th wall erected by Kaizer.

:doh: (feels out wall) :rant: DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL!!!



IC: :P
urial angel of death

08-09-06, 01:38 PM		Dark link goes up to OOCrystalforged and points.

Dark Link: :evillaugh
cypher_zero

08-09-06, 03:24 PM		Lisa: So what’s with the whole endless pursuit of power and perfection anyway? I mean, why go though all this?

Terrek: There needs to be a purpose? Isn’t the pursuit of it enough? Throughout the history of the “common” races, every one of them has strived to be better. All of them have worked to be more than they once were, if not as a society, then as individuals. The pursuit of perfection is only the next logical step.

Terra: But that doesn’t make sense. You already have all that you could hope for here. Most of the people on the ship would die for the kind of power you have here. Isn’t it enough? Aren’t you content?

Terrek: NO. (Narrows eyes) Why would I be content? I have everything here. What’s left to gain, hmm? Every being needs a purpose, otherwise we become redundant. You saw what happened to Sa’vor when he lost his purpose. It was like he was floating adrift, not really doing anything, not really caring about anything. He’d have died like that, possibly doing something unremarkable, if I hadn’t helped him.
That will not be me. I could easily sit on my throne here in my palace and be able to do whatever I wished. But what does one that has all wish for? I’ll tell you: More. There’s always something more, we just need to grasp it.
Here, I am everything. I can learn no more, gain no higher status, become more powerful, etc. But out there, on the ship, I’m not the best. I’m not the fastest, or the strongest; though possibly the smartest and most charismatic; but I’m not the best. It gives me something to shoot for; something to do. Do you know how boring it is to be all powerful? There’s not enough food to go around? Poof! Bread for a thousand mouths and the people are grateful. In short I needed something to do.

(OOC: I’m just going to point out here that he’s lying through his teeth, but he’s so d**n good at it, combined with those charm spells (You didn’t forget did you?) that the odds of either of them figuring out he’s lying is next to impossible.)

Terra: So why did you invite us here?

Terrek: (Sips wine) Did you ever consider that I might just like having guests from time to time?

Terra: …

Terrek: No, I suppose not. Doesn’t seem my nature does it?

Terra: Well, no. So why did you really invite us?

Terrek: To see. (Sips wine)

Lisa: That’s it? To see?

Terrek: (Narrows eyes as he looks at her) Yes, though that phrasing makes it sound so much less profound than it really is. Do you realize, that of all those on the FF, I’m the only one that’s done something like this? This is considerably more significant than a “That’s it.”

Terra: To be fair, we’ve only seen the inside of some of your palace. We’d hardly know how “profound” this place really was.

Terrek: Then let me show you…

OOC: Sorry, not done yet. Hopefully, time permitting I’ll have more up tonight.
.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-09-06, 05:01 PM		(OOC: I’m just going to point out here that he’s lying through his teeth, but he’s so d**n good at it, combined with those charm spells (You didn’t forget did you?) that the odds of either of them figuring out he’s lying is next to impossible.)
OOC: They don't have to outright know he's lying. They just have to notice that something's amiss. Charm-type spells are notoriously easy to break. Even the best liar in the world can't change the fact that their story is inherently false. This is so out of character for Terrek that they can't help but question his reasoning. For now, consider them acting in a "perhaps that's really all there is to it, but..." kind of way.

BTW, Crystalforged, I like calling my barrier the 5th wall. I was wondering what to call it, so I think I'll steal your idea. :D
cypher_zero

08-09-06, 05:23 PM		OOC: For the sake of argument, I'm just gonna point out that they are on his plane. So... yea. Aside from that, he's roughly level 80 (given recent developments), or thereabouts so that bluff skill is decidedly epic. Actually, it'd be epic compared to most epics. He just that charasmatic. He is a sorc after all...
.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-09-06, 05:49 PM		OOC: Yeah, I know. They believe him for now, largely because they don't have any obvious reason not to other than the out of character bit. I'm just saying that (mostly after they leave) the little voice that says "this doesn't fit" is going to get louder at some point.

As a side note, I've been doing a bit more definitive stating of Terra, and her Sense Motive check is starting to scare me...
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-09-06, 06:01 PM		…As a side note, I've been doing a bit more definitive stating of Terra, and her Sense Motive check is starting to scare me...
OOC: That's why I do not stat. Uh…I should do something else with this post… :thinks:

IC: Silver: Big problem.

Bunny: What?

Silver: Well, I'm taking care of Caralot's room while she's away, and I just looked in and noticed something's gone.

Bunny: I'm guessing you don't mean the carnivorous waffle irons.

Silver: Nah, those things are harmless…

A redshirt runs by, screaming in terror, pursued by a pack of waffle irons.

Silver:…to the important parts of the ship.
*******
Sign outside Erk's Place:
It's "old school" night. Come and pretend to be using rules from a past edition.
Tomorrow: 4E night. We all know it's in the works. Come and pretend to be using the rules you think will be in it. Prizes will be awarded to the most outrageous yet logical participants.
cypher_zero

08-09-06, 06:04 PM		OOC: Yea, I just figured out Terrek's bluff (with ability modifier) It's something like 130. ELH says that high, he could tell you the sky's made of candy and suggest that you try to jump off some really high place because you'd just land in the sweet sugary goodness. And you would not only believe him, you'd go looking for the highest place to jump off of that you could find. Epics are scary.
.
Rei32491

08-09-06, 06:48 PM		Sign outside Erk's Place:
It's "old school" night. Come and pretend to be using rules from a past edition.
Nalfein: "Pretend"? Screw that! I use past edition rules on a daily basis! Have you people not been paying attention?!

Bunny: Not really.

Nalfein: :mad:
rampant

08-09-06, 09:01 PM		OORampant - I just thought no one had bothered to give you the memo.

Nalfien - What memo, why did i not get a memo.

Kithle - Because your stupid and we hate you.

Nalfien - :weep:

Volrath - There there... I'd disagree with him, but its all true.

Nalfien - :mad: You're no help.

Volrath - :P
urial angel of death

08-09-06, 09:31 PM		Nalfien: Aren't you supposed to be hunting campers.

Volrath: I got bored. I figure my little sins against nature can handle the hunting themselves.

--------

In the lowwer decks. Two campers, one girl one boy, are surronded by black chitinous creatures.

boy: Vasquez, I always loved you.

girl: Gorman, you always were an *******.
Crystalforged

08-09-06, 11:13 PM		BTW, Crystalforged, I like calling my barrier the 5th wall. I was wondering what to call it, so I think I'll steal your idea. :D
OOC: Hoped you'd like it, I'm quite fond of it myself. Now how about lowering it so I can play with the hookshot? :bigeyes: (just kidding)

P.S. If your taking them to Hyrule I hope you plan to send then into at least a couple of the dungeons, their Juba Juba's belly should be intersting.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-09-06, 11:46 PM		OOC: Well...I wasn't planning on sending them anywhere else in that realm, but...I kind of have to now...

Meh. I'll get to it later tonight. I'm thinking either the Forest Temple or the Water Temple, but all plans are subject to change without prior notification. :D
rampant

08-10-06, 01:25 AM		Satnak - Nemisis Good effort but you lost, C

Ernest .... I'm not sure how to score seduction, your exam shall be stricken from the record

Piffany, your redshirt has regressed to 3rd grade, a third grade girl, B-

Shadow, nice kidney kick, A

Robrands stop playing with your porcupine.

Robrands - ... Your kidding me.

Griswald - Hey guys look the pincushion talks.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-10-06, 02:26 AM		Terra: You know, this would be so much easier to do if you just let be blast the doors open...

OOKaizer: *using a dungeon key* What's the fun in that?

Lisa: The fun is not having to deal with this UNBEARABLY ANNOYING DUNGEON anymore! We keep going in circles. Raising the water, lowering the water! Again and again!

OOKaizer: Look, I'm no fan of the Water Temple either, but it needs to be done. Ganondorf isn't just going to defeat himself.

Terra: Again, you could always just let me blast him a few times. That should take care of him.

OOKaizer: It's so much more rewarding if you do it the hard way.

Lisa: :rolleyes: Where'd Link go, anyway? Navi's gone, thankfully, but aren't we supposed to be helping him?

OOKaizer: Meh. Link needs no help. He's just that awesome.

A (very manly) scream is heard from several stories up and Link falls to the ground with a thud. He lands on his feet, taking only 1/2 a heart in damage.

Terra: :blink:

Lisa: Ok, I have to admit. That was cool.

Navi: HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HE-

Lisa: :eek: NOT AGAIN!

OOKaizer: Just hit up on the C button. It'll take care of it for a while.

Navi: -Y! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!

Terra: :confused:

OOKaizer: ...oh, right. You can't do that. Sorry.

A small controller appears in OOKaizer's hand, he hits a yellow button and a small text box appears before them. They read, rather than hear, Navi speak.

Navi: That symbol on the wall bears the crest of the royal family. Maybe you should try playing your Ocarina?

Lisa: That's what we've been doing for the last hour!

OOKazier: *controller disappears* She's got a bit of a short-term memory problem.

Terra: :headexplo That's IT! I'm going to kill that bug right here, right now!

*chase scene ensues*
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-10-06, 12:01 PM		Lisa: The fun is not having to deal with this UNBEARABLY ANNOYING DUNGEON anymore! We keep going in circles. Raising the water, lowering the water! Again and again!

13: Here.

Lisa: What's this?

13: OOcat's letting you borrow his Player's Guide.

Lisa: Then what's this other thing.

13: His patience.
OOKaizer: It's so much more rewarding if you do it the hard way.
OOcat: No, the Water Temple just sucks. I had more fun playing the original Legend.
A (very manly) scream is heard from several stories up and Link falls to the ground with a thud. He lands on his feet, taking only 1/2 a heart in damage.
Bunny: :mad:
Terra: :headexplo That's IT! I'm going to kill that bug right here, right now!

*chase scene ensues*
OOcat (watching chase scene): That's funny, I never thought Navi was that annoying. :confused: Wonder what everyone else's problem is?
urial angel of death

08-10-06, 12:27 PM		OORei: Their in Hyrule! I want to go, I want to go, I want to go, I want to go. Ppppppppppppppppppllllllllllllllllllllll eeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss seeeeeeee.

OOUrial: Fine, just shut-up!

OORei: Yay.

OOUrial lights some candles and begins chanting. OORei's vision blurs and when it comes back a horrible realization comes over him.

OORei: I'm in master quest's water temple. *begins sobbing*
Crystalforged

08-10-06, 05:11 PM		OOC: :mymy: Master Quests water temple? Even I'm not that evil.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-10-06, 05:19 PM		OORei: *spots OOcat* What are you doing here?

OOcat: I'm bored.

OORei: Well obviously—

OOcat: So I came here for something to do. :)

OORei: :eek:………Ah, you do know this is the master quest?

OOcat: Even better, never tried it before. :D

OORei: :OMG! You really are crazy.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-10-06, 06:59 PM		OOC: Being stuck in the Master Quest Water Temple, going around in circles, back tracking constantly for keys you can't find, and hearing "HEY! LISTEN!" constantly will try anyone's patience. :D

I happened to think they did a great job revamping the dungeons. SilvercatMoonpaw, if you've never tried it, you're missing out.

IC:

Terra: What happened to the 5th wall?

OOKaizer: It was never mean't to work on the other Entities. Just the crew.

OORei: So...what's next?

OOKazier: Huh? Oh, we're done here.

OOUrial: What?! Then why did you send us after those chests on the bottom floor?

OOKaizer: Because we didn't want to do it and it kept you distracted. :P

OOUrial & OORei: :mad:

OORei: How'd you do against the boss?

Lisa: :blush: We'd...rather not talk about it...

OOUrial: You didn't lose, did you?

Terra: :blush: No...nothing like that...it's just...

OORei: What?

OOKaizer: You do remember what the boss of this dungeon is, right?

OOUrial: Yeah. It's Morpha, the little amoeba thing.

OOKaizer: What does it do with the water?

OORei: It turns it into tentacles... :eek:

OOKaizer: :rolleyes: Get your mind out of the gutter. It wasn't as bad as you think.

Terra: :mad: Maybe for you! Being felt up by some perverted water monster thing isn't the most pleasant experience in the world. :mad:

OOKaizer: Oh hush. I spent an hour slowly killing it in the most horrifically painful and violent ways I could think of. The only reason I'm not still in there is that I ran out of fairies to revive it and kill it again. I got him to drop another Heart Container in exchange for the sweet release of death. :D

OOUrial: What happened to Link?

Lisa: He headed back to the Temple of Time. Something about a Lens of Truth.

OORei: Ugh. I hate the Shadow Temple...
rampant

08-10-06, 07:18 PM		Satnak - Ok everyone class is over.

Robrands - At last

Satnak - Except for you, either win or lose, but don't give me this giving up ****.

Robrands - What does she see in you?

Satnak - :twitch: what was that little boy :mad:

Robrands - :eek: Nothing

---------------------------------

Satnak - I've had it with him, next time I'm breaking bones... (tail nudges Serene's elbow)

Serene - Huh?! What?

Satnak - Normally you'd get all aghast and start telling me to be nice.

Serene - ... He said some awful things about you earlier...I got angry, I nearly yelled at him.

Satnak - Not used to the "negative emotions" are you?

Serene - huh?

Satnak - Rage, Hatred, Pain , Fear, Pride, Jealousy, Apathy, Avarice, and such. The parts of our nature often termed dark or evil. The impulses that tell us to dominate, or slaughter everything around us. For must people its subconcious and almost invisible, most berserkers can channel those emotions into power, other people simply obey them, People like you who don't feel them very often, can have trouble handling it. Its perfectly normal to get angry when someone close to you is being insulted, I'd be hurt if you didn't. You how ever don't want to hurt or scare peoplee. I don't know what to tell you, I've made a life out of the kinds of brutal conflicts you abhor.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-10-06, 07:46 PM		I've made a life out of the kinds of brutal conflicts you abhor.
Bunny: And my very existance is based on people like Satnak.

13 (looking over at Silver): Um, what's in the box?

The box gurgles.

Silver: Oh, nothing. :angelhide:
urial angel of death

08-10-06, 08:13 PM		OOUrial: Come to think of it how did I get here?

OOKaizer: Didn't you come with OORei?

OOUrial: No I just sent him here. Last thing I remember I was in the Starcraft universe, torturing Mensk.

OOKaizer: That would explain your zerg claws.

OOUrial: Ya hope nothing else got through.

A zealot appears behind OOUrial, with psi blades ready.

OOUrial: Well ****.

*Chase scene ensues*
rampant

08-10-06, 11:17 PM		Ching CHing Ching Ching Ching Ching Ching Ching

Zealot dissapates.

OORampant - Goliaths rock!
-----------------------------------

Serene - Silly girl, you do your best just like everyone else. No one can ask for more than that.

Satnak - Sing for me...Please.

Serene - There is a world to see
Waiting out there for you and me

storms to weather
beasts to tether
we will stand together...

Silly girl. :)

Serene continues to hum while moving Satnak and herself to a seated position in her room, finally nodding off herself.
Rei32491

08-11-06, 12:09 AM		OOKaizer: While we are waiting, lets go Poe hunting!

OORei: I'm out of here.

OOUrial: Where too?

OORei: Off to kill some of the stupid and worthless Terran.

OORampant: But Goliaths rock!

OORei: :blink: ...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHA!!!

OORei teleports away.

OORampant: Jerk.

***

OORei teleports over a Terran camp, completely invisible. There is a lookout in a tower, as he is viewing the landscape, he sees a Dragoon limping on the ground.

Lookout: Sarge! SARGE!

Sarge: (walking out of his tent) This better be good!

Lookout: There appears to be a Dragoon close by, looks hurt.

Sarge: Kill it!

As he says this, a siege tank pulls up and transforms into siege mode.

Sarge: Fire!

The tank blows the Dragoon into many little pieces.

OORei: Those bastards!

Lookout: YEAH! We sure showed that Protos-

He stops because a large ball of energy slams into the tower and blows it to hell.

Sarge: :confused:

Then hundreds of Dragoons appear all around the base.

OORei: GO MY MINIONS! KILL THESE MORTALS!

Sarge: Oh Shi-

The base is promptly deleted from space and time.

OORei: None can stop the Protoss...
Crystalforged

08-11-06, 12:20 AM		OOC: Yeah, I was origionally going to post this about, say, a week ago. However due to a sever case of the lazyies I haven't gotten around to until now. My saves vs. disease must be terrible.



IC: A group of campers, somewhat reduced at this point, has once again gathered around Kanatash in a clearing.

Kanatash: Alright, now its time for my MUCH belated class on Planar Dynamics. (gives a withering glance upwards)

OOCrystalforged: (smiles sheepishly) Ugh, yeah sorry bout that.

Kanatash: Hmph, as I was saying I will be explaining the intimate workings of the planes which surround this quaint little rock you call Eberron. However due to time constraints forced upon me, (clears throat) we will only have time to go into the workings of a single plane. I have already erected a portal behind me, I will continue the lessons there.

He gestures towards a flaming vortex to oblivion floating behind him. Nemesis plunges through without a second thought while the rest of the kids glance about nevously before stepping through rather hesitantly.

Kanatash: (shaking heads) Tisk, tisk. So gullible, they'll pay for it too, well most of them at least. (plunges through himself)

---

The kids find themselves floating aimlessly apparently free of any gravity in massive gray, greasy sky. Small chunks of land can be seen drifting here and there sporting menacing foliage. Impossible creatures can be seen in the distance and even farther away impossibly large creatures can be seen drifting from one layer of the plane to another, in fact existing on several at once. How substantial these massive beings are remains in question however since the campers themselves seem to be within one. Before the campers can even attempt to reorient themselves to their new surroundings a humanlike figure appears and begins to approach them.

Piffany: (clearly scared and confused) Like, where the **** are we and what the **** is that?!

Robrands: I would say by our surroundings that we are somewhere within the Plane of Xoriat and by the bearing and appearance of the figure I would hazard the guess that he is one of the Daelkyr, the lords of madness.

Kanatash: (appearing from nowhere) Correct on both counts. More precisely he is Nyarlathotep, one of the Great Old Ones, destroyer of realities, master of madness, father of another of your counselors, and as it so happens a good friend of mine.

Nyarlathotep: (walking up to Kanatash) It's been a while Kanatash, I got your message but you didn't specificly say what you wanted my help with. (glancing towards the campers) I assume it involves them.

Kanatash: It does. Some of the entities decided to set up a summer camp on the ship and as a part of that I'm taking these campers on a little "field trip." I just contacted you to see if you wanted to help guide to tour.

Nyarlathotep: (smiling malevolently) Ahh, of course. Do you have any particular sites in mind for the tour?

Kanatash: Oh, I was thinking, the Ocean of Blood, the Temple of the Inverted Mind, the Brain Spider Forests, the Leach Fields, Hyrule's Temple of Death, Neverland Ranch, and New Jersy.

Nyarlathotep: (raising an eyebrow) Thats seems an awfully impressive tour for this group. I doubt most of them could handle the first stop without breaking.

Kanatash: You'd be surprised...

At this moment Nemesis, who had been strangely absent until now from the group of campers, comes charging in. She stands atop a slug-like sack of flesh with a massive rack like that of a deer and a draconic head belching fire from its rear. She holds reigns in one hand and a bull whip in the other, directing the beast directly towards the other campers, Robrands and Piffany in particular.

Nemesis: Needle Peek this B****es.

Piffany: :eek:

Robrands: :mymy: Oh, dear.

Nemesis: You should have known better than to think you could pull that sort of **** on me and not expected reprecussions. Now sic 'em, boy!

Nyarlathotep: (watching the ensuing bloody massacre) Wow, are you sure shes really a Kalashtar?

Kanatash: Not in the slightest but none of my tests have been able to prove otherwise so far.

Nyarlathotep: (wipping off a bit of bloodsplatter) She's certainly got potential, shes taking to the plane better than some aberrations I've seen.

Kanatash: Tell me about it, I've got a viewing crystal I'm going to to have to show you later. You're not going to believe the stuff she did to this redshirt. Now we better to see to this before it gets out of hand. I'll calm down Nemesis, you try to put the rest of the campers back in once peice and reanimated as best you can.

Nyarlathotep: (glancing back at Nemesis who is now in a blood-lust that would put a beserker to shame) Glad I got the easy job.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-11-06, 01:14 AM		Neverland Ranch, and New Jersy.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: That's just cruel, sending them to New Jersy...

IC:

OOKaizer, Terra, and Lisa are Poe hunting in Hyrule Field. OOKaizer is up first, using the Fairy Bow (shut up, it's not a funny name :P ), and not doing very well.

Terra: You suck at this.

OOKaizer: It's harder than it looks, ok! :mad:

He finally lands the finishing blow to a Big Poe. As it's spirit temporarily floats a foot above the ground, he catches it in an empty bottle.

Lisa: I still can't figure out how those things work.

OOKaizer: They're the all-purpose storage unit of this universe.

Lisa: Yeah, but you've put bugs, milk, blue fire, poes, water, potions, and fairies in them. You never wash them out, some of that stuff shouldn't even be possible without special lining, and, at the very least, it's unsanitary.

OOKazier: Plot device.

Lisa: That's just a cop out.

OOKaizer: It's not my fault the game designers didn't program anything about that in here. Ok, Terra, you're up.

Another Big Poe appears.

Terra: *Holy Word*

(OOC: Why she can use this will be explained later. PM me if you think you've figured it out. I'll give you a :cookie: and maybe a :chicken: if you're right.)

The Big Poe dies.

Terra: Boo-yah.

OOKaizer: :mad:
rampant

08-11-06, 10:56 AM		Brown Robed Figure - That girl makes it impossible to hate her, ok maybe she isn't pulling a Toren. Satnak still has responibilities to our clan...Reduced as it is.

-------------------------

Robrands - I must get that sword away from her, but how?
Kaizer_Ryu

08-11-06, 11:37 AM		Link and Lisa take the lead as the group heads into the Shadow Temple. Link detects traps and other things with the Lens of Truth, and being an Epic level Paladin has it's benefits (fear immunity, undead simply burst into flame from Lisa's Turn Undead ability).

OORei: *shaking* Sooooooo scary...

OOKaizer: Come on, now. The best way to get over your fear is to face it head on.

Terra: What's with him?

OOKaizer: This place has always freaked him out. He'll get over it.

A Giant Skulltula drops from the ceiling right in front of OORei.

OORei: :eek: :ghosted:

Terra: Or not...

The group comes across a strange creature. It looks kind of like living jell-o.

OOKaizer: :mad: I hate Like-Like's. They're so cheap.

Link whips out his bow and hits it with an Ice Arrow. While it is frozen, he smashes it with the Megaton Hammer.

OOKaizer: :D :D He is SOOOOOO cool!!! :D :D

A shadow grows slowly larger beneath Lisa as something drops from above.

Link: HIYAAAAAA!!!!! *pulls her out of the way*

A gigantic animated severed hand (Floor Master) lands without a sound right where Lisa would have been.

Lisa: Ew. I forgot about these things. Thanks. *Smite Evil*

Floor Master dies.
-----------
After a long journey, they finally come across the hole leading to Bongo Bongo (I didn't make these names up, stop laughing :P ). Without a second thought, Link jumps in, closely followed by the rest of the group.

OOKaizer: WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Terra: :rolleyes: You're like a little kid.

OOKaizer: What? It's fun!

They land on the giant drum and see Link already facing off against Bongo Bongo. The boss lay stunned as Link wails on him with the Master Sword.

OOKaizer: :D :D He is SOOOOOO cool!!! :D :D

Terra: *flying above them* Groan. We know. *Holy Smite*

The blast of holy energy stuns Bongo Bongo again, allowing Link to finish it off.

Link: HA! HYAAAAHH!! EIGH! RAAAAGHHH!!!

Navi: *gagged* Mrph! Mriphin!

Lisa: You're welcome.

Link bows slightly, grabs the Heart Container, and warps out of the Temple.

OOKaizer: One last thing before we leave... *whacks OORei over the head*

OORei: Ow! I'm up already! What'd I miss?

Lisa: All of it.

OORei: Oh, good. Can we leave now? PLEASE!
Crystalforged

08-11-06, 12:14 PM		:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: That's just cruel, sending them to New Jersy...

:rant: You think that's "funny" do you? Well I know all about the history of New Jersy and there's NOTHING fun about it. This (http://youtube.com/watch?v=crtZgZtFho4) will show you the truth.

P.S. If anyone actually from New Jersy reads this post, I would just like to apologize. That you live in New Jersy. :P
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-11-06, 01:43 PM		P.S. If anyone actually from New Jersy reads this post, I would just like to apologize. That you live in New Jersy. :P
OOC: That's okay, those of us who come from New Jersey forgive you. It does suck.
Rei32491

08-11-06, 03:30 PM		OORei: I would just like to point out Kaizer that Link does not need any help, and us helping him just slowed him down. :P

OOKaizer: Shut up. (drops a Giant Skulltula infront of OORei)

OORei: You bastard! :ghosted:

OOKaizer: :D

OOC: I am going to get you for that one :mad: :rant: :headexplo :tantrum: :hoppingma :fight!: ;)
Rei32491

08-11-06, 03:42 PM		This is the newest strip for this comic, and I think that it sums up just about what Kaizer felt at the end of Pirates 2 (no spoilers, very funny)

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=205
Gladius_Lucix

08-11-06, 05:17 PM		Liam is working in his lab when 13 comes in.

13: Mail call.

Liam: Thanks. <opens and reads the letter> Oh :censored:.

----

Liam is sitting in Erk's Places, staring at the letter and drinking as Ketler walks up.

Ketler: What's wrong?

Liam: I think we're in deep crap.

Ketler: More than usual?

Liam: Read.

He hands Ketler the letter.


Greetings, Liam.
I heard about the success with your research. Great job! I'm currently traveling with Jared Landel and Premlin ir'Krent to see a demonstration of your creation. Trevor ir'Kannun is coming as well, to see if the power can be sold. I hope you are well, and I'll see you soon.

-Warren.


Ketler: Who are these people?

Liam: Warren's a friend of mine, Landel is the Dean of Magi. Sci., ir'Krent is the President of Morgrave University, and ir'Kannun is in charge of getting all the inventions made by students and professors to the public, with proper monetary compensation.

Ketler: Ah. Well, if you need me, I'll be busy. See ya.

----

Later, in Jarlot's office...

Jarlot: I fail to see how this concerns me.

Liam: Two things. First, if they like it and try to market the power, I'll personally make sure you get a cut of the profits.

Jarlot: Interesting. And the other?

Liam: If they don't like it, they'll remove me from the ship, and start reviewing my expense account, which it seems you've been enjoying.

Liam glances around the room at the ostentatious gold panelling and other signs of waste and wealth.

Jarlot:EEP.

Liam: Yup. All I ask is that you exert what control you have to make their stay as nice as possible. I want the crew on their best behavior.
rampant

08-11-06, 05:38 PM		I want the crew on their best behavior.


....

:D :plotting: :lightbulb :angelhide :devil: :schemes: :ayyyy!: :rofl: :heehee :drool:
Kaizer_Ryu

08-11-06, 07:14 PM		OOC: Crystalforged. That. Was. Hilarious. What is it with you and Carebears, anyway? :D And as far as best behavior...for this crew, I'm sorry to say, you've been witnessing it during the camp...

IC:

Lisa: Are you almost done?

OOKaizer: *fervently* No! Must...collect...all...Heart Pieces...

Terra: Doesn't Link need those?

OOKaizer: He's already at max. Plus, one of those Great Fairies gave him Damage Reduction.

Lisa: *shudder* They're creepy...

OOKaizer: Tell me about it. They still give me nightmares.
Rei32491

08-11-06, 07:39 PM		OOKaizer: Tell me about it. They still give me nightmares.
OOC: So very true. Great Fairy's Mask from LoZ: Majora's Mask...*shudder*

Now, to continue with Nalfein's class.

IC:

After waiting for some time, Nalfein decides to continue with the tests.

Nalfein: I must say, I'm quite impressed with the rest of you. Now we continue.

He pulls out an Endless Decanter of Water. Activating it, he tips it to the side and slowly lets the water pour on the ground.

Nalfein: Now, considering we started this class just after lunch, nature should be calling soon. :devil:

The water continues to pour...

Boy: *whimper*

*KAFWOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!*
rampant

08-11-06, 08:48 PM		Terrek - I'm sorry Ms. Mystery Lady, I can't let you disturb my daughter and her girlfriend.

Brown Robed figure - Thats Mrs. Mystery lady to you, *Slice*

One of Terrek's chains falls to the ground drained of life and magic.

Terrek - That sword, thats Satna-

One hilt to the head later.

Brown Robed Figure - The Rose is mine old man.

--------------

Satnak - Huh?! I'm up I'll get breakfas- Oh Serene. OK not that I mind, but how did I get he- :eek:

The door opens and the brown Robed figure steps in.

Satnak - How did you get past Terrek?

BRF - He is of no consequence outside his realm little one. You know full well the power of the Legacies I wield.

Satnak - Legacy, or need i state the obvious.

Both sets of eyes are drawn to the Gaurded Heart still carried in the sleeping Serene's belt.

Serene - Huh? wha? WHO ARE YOU?

BRF - I'm hurt, Satnak you never told your little girlfriend about me? I geuss I'll just introduce myself. Hello Serene, *hood drops* I'm Ketty and I'm here to take my sister home.
-------------------

OOC: Kaizer gets a :cookie: Double chocolate chunk style
--------------------------------

Serene - I thought you were dead.

Satnak - Aparently being too stubborn to die is a family trait.

Ketty - No hug for your older sister?

Satnak - The last time we met you ran me through...6 times.

Ketty - 7 and you know full well what that bastard was doing to me.

Satnak - You call that little stab a running through, that one didn't even scar. Fine, still what proof do I have that he's really gone.

Ketty - Your friends at the Island patched me up.

Satnak - Surprised there was anything left to patch up.

Ketty - There wasn't much.

Serene -Disarray..

SAtnak - Ok I belive you, now why under the 11 remaining moons should I go Back?

Ketty - The clans are devastated, we managed to save at least one heir from most of the clans, but two new Riven have appeared.

Satnak - so what do I care?

Ketty - One bears the crest of the Tournen.

Satnak - Dekon...

Ketty - Yes, your betrothed is dea-

Satnak - :w00t: Now I don't have to worry about him hunting for me.

Ketty - Ok I'll admit that you have reason to be pleased about this... Oh hells I thought he was slime as well. :D

Satnak - Its good to see you back sis.

Serene - Wait a minute :ahem: shouldn't there be a little more emotion in here?

Satnak - She'll keep the poker face up until she thinks its just me and her.

Serene - Oh I'll go the-

Satnak - No, its your room, besides... Anything Ketty has to say to me can be said in front of you. You're with me now you said it yourself "good, bad, and Crazy".

Ketty - Lord Dalshien of the Sirinon has decided that since your betrothed has died his son Tormos shall be your husband.

Satnak - :mad:

Serene - :confused:
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-11-06, 08:58 PM		13: Is this making any sense to you?

Bunny: No.

Silver: Does it involve sex?

13: I think it involves marriage.

Silver: Never improves the situation. :pbbbtt:

13: So who came up with it?

Silver: You did. Retroactively, when you became god of living life.

13: Oh, yeah, good way to screw with people.

Bunny: I just hope Terrek leaves this alone. (significant ;) )

13: But about the rest of it…?

OOcat: :crazy:
Kaizer_Ryu

08-11-06, 09:05 PM		OOC: Wow. For once, I understand something that SilvercatMoonpaw doesn't...

...

...

I'm scared now...

Though, I was a little confused as to the sudden threatening->friendly change. I think it gave me whiplash. :D
rampant

08-11-06, 09:32 PM		Kithle - I sense a disturbance in the farce.
------------------------------------------------
Chalky - Someone's gonna die, Someone's gonna die, Someone's gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeee, that nobody can deny.
-------------------------------------------------
Lucky - ... I'm hiding in my barrel and never coming out.
--------------------------------------------------
JArlot - I want a cameoooooooo.
---------------------------------------------------
Reman wescal - Better start boning up on legacy clan laws.
---------------------------------------------------
Robrands - Serene will be mine yet.
------------------------------------------------

OORampant - Squirrels are such great gossips aren't they/
cypher_zero

08-11-06, 09:35 PM		OOC: Yea. Right. Like she'd just "take out" Terrek. Muwahahaha!

IC:

Terrek approaches silently from behind. His four chains lash out and grab Ketty and whip her backwards into Terrek's waiting claws. He grasps her head with both hands and twists, breaking her neck. Ketty falls to the ground, silent.

Serene and Satnak: :mymy:

Terrek: Idiot. You honestly think I'd actually face anyone in frontal combat on grounds not of my choosing? Or that I'd be defeated so easily? Be glad I'm letting you live.(Slips into shadows)
rampant

08-11-06, 09:42 PM		Ketty - I must commend Forbes knows how to build a better body.

Terrek - ****.

KEtty - Stay out of this fool.
*boot*

Terrek is sent flying out the door. Which Promptly shuts.

Ketty
Lurker 20/Swashbuckler 10/ Legacy Champion 10 (The Rose)
Satnak's older faster sister, 'nough said.

-----------------------------
OOC : NO offense cypher I'm just trying to keep him out of the conversation for now.
cypher_zero

08-11-06, 10:00 PM		OOC: That's why he slipped into the shadows at the end. I figured you would have known by now whenever he does that he goes back to his plane.
rampant

08-11-06, 10:21 PM		OOC: Oooooooh, I thought he was just hiding.
---------------------------------------------------

Satnak - It was bad enough he had to interfere before, but this. I could have challenged Dekon.

Ketty - You can't do that to a member of the Sirinon. Not even your adopted family on the island can stop this.

Satnak - When did i become such a catch, huh? are the clans that bad off?

Ketty - Yes, but thats not it. You're one of the terrible 3 now, remember. The Serpent of Forbidden Wrath, The Dreadknaught of Heaven's Tears, and now The Breaker Prime. I'm surprised you haven't dealt with this type of interest allready.

Satnak - Fear is a powerful shield.

Ketty - Oh yes your old muscle-bound tom boy routine. I remember you had all the other kids your age in absolute terror of your melds.

Satnak - Not many more like me around these days.

Ketty - Another reason the Lord Sirinon wants you wed Tormos.

Serene - Excuse me, Girlfriend in the room.

Ketty - I'm sure your very sweet and all, but a cute kid like you is just sweetening the deal as far as Tormos and his father are concerned. You think the Clans never dealt with this before? You would continue on with my sister, only to end up as a second wife to Tormos, and a low ranked one at that. I know Satnak would never do that to someone she cared for.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-11-06, 11:05 PM		OOC: rampant...you're mean...

Poor Satnak. :(

IC:

Ganon's Keep crumbles as Link and Zelda seal him away.

OOKaizer: :( Awwwww...

Terra: What? Wasn't beating Ganon the point of all this?

OOKazier: Strictly speaking, yes. But now it's over...

Lisa: I get the feeling you play for the journey, not the end.

OOKaizer: :) Very good. Keep that in mind for the future.

Terra: Where to next?

OOKaizer: I'm gonna leave you two alone for a bit. I have a few destinations I still want to show you, but I also want to give you some quality time. Here.

He hands Lisa a broach. On it is a picture of a blue-haired young man with the translucent image of a Gold Dragon in mid-flight in the background.

Lisa: What's this?

OOKazier: It has some pre-set destinations entered into it. You can check them out at your leisure. I'll stop by every so often, but this is your honeymoon. I'm just along for the ride.

Terra: :rolleyes: You're just satisfying your inner fanboy, aren't you?

OOKaizer: Yes. Yes I am. :D

OOC: If you want an idea of who I'm referring to, check this (http://www.dragon-tear.net/images/bof3/BoF3-group.jpg) out. My namesake is the one in front. For the record, Rei32491's is the tiger guy to the left. When SilvercatMoonpaw did his logo, I thought it'd be a cool idea to do one of my own.
cypher_zero

08-11-06, 11:11 PM		OOC: Sorry man, gotta do it.

IC:

Terrek reappears from the shadows, arms folded across his chest and chains dangling in front of him.

Terrek: No.

Ketty whirls around and stares at Terrek.

Ketty: What makes you think you have any say in the matter?

Terrek gets up off the wall and strides over to Ketty, staring down into her face. The eyestalks on his shoulders rise up and all 9 glare at her, each crackling with energy. A dark aura appears around Terrek as he opens the third eye in his forehead and bares his fangs. He slowly raises his gauntleted hand and points it directly in Ketty’s face, the twin tentacles on his arms begin seeping with poison, ready to strike and his chains whirl around him. As he speaks, the air around him begins to crackle slightly and the entire ships starts shaking. His voice booms with an incomprehensible sound, as though a hundred different voices all spoke at once, each in a deep bass.

Terrek: You will watch how you speak to me! I forgave your earlier transgression; do NOT think it will happen twice! I have killed gods, child; you are nothing. (*Note* Terrek’s last stated ECL was about 80. Ketty’s is 40. I think she’d be a *little* scared.) As to my daughter: She will wed who she wishes, when she wishes, and how she wishes! If this “Tormos” has a problem with that, send the pest to me and I’ll feed him his still-beating heart! And do not think for a moment that I have any hesitation –

Serene interjects, coming between her father and Ketty

Serene: Father! Stop! This won’t work! (The ship continues to shake, causing things to fall from the walls.) And stop that! You’ll tear the ship apart! (Stares into his eyes meaningfully and speaks quietly.) Please, I can handle this.

Terrek turns back to look at Ketty

Terrek: Be glad for my daughter’s kind heart. Next time I might rip yours from you.

The air around Terrek swirls as though a black vortex was opening around him. He begins moving through and it starts to close. At the last moment, one of his chains whips out from the hole and slashes Ketty in the face, deep enough to leave a nasty scar…

OOC: Again, sorry if this isn’t the way you wanted this to go down, but really, did you think Terrek was gonna let that slide?
.
rampant

08-11-06, 11:25 PM		OOC : actually the timing was perfect, I just wanted him out of the room for that last bit, doesn't matter if anyone is spying just the atmosphere i was after for that time.
----------------------------------

Ketty - I.. I deserve that, but not for this It's not my Idea. Lord Sirinon is coming with Tormos and the RIven.

Satnak - Tormos or Sirinon could be dealt with, but the Riven.

Ketty - Exactly, if it weren't for them I could have fluxed the gate behind me, then cited the dangers of Multi-versal crossings.

Satnak - There goes my plan.

Terrek - We will simply annihi-

Satnak and Ketty - NO!

Ketty - The clans are almost extinct.

Satnak - IF the Sirinon are killed it would be a deathblow.

Ketty - Besides the riven are unstoppable.

Satnak - Reality around them is under the control of the Sirinon.

Ketty - They are the result of a Clan's destruction,

Satnak - and the Legacy of the Sirinon.

Ketty - Each Riven increases the power of the effect.

Satnak - And both of the Sirinon, means all 3.

Ketty - 5 now.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-11-06, 11:37 PM		OOC: I don't want to tell you how to play your character, but I must say my piece. Terrek's "I'm more powerful than anything else in the history of ever" is getting really annoying. Stat wise, the preliminary ones I have for Terra aren't that much lower. They're even higher in some spots. He's not anywhere near invincible. No one is. Anyway, energy/level/soul/whatever drain isn't that hard to counter with the resources at the disposal of most of the ubers. I understand that Terrek has a god complex, and that his stats have improved since those posted on the Wiki, but this recent behavior kind of validates SilvercatMoonpaw's idea that power leads to stupidity.

Ok, end rant.
cypher_zero

08-11-06, 11:46 PM		OOC: Rampant - One quick point here: With Terrek nothing is ever simple, even annihilation. Everything is planned out to a T with him. Also, killing isn’t the first thing to pop to his mind, he was just ticked off. I was gonna post something else too, but I think I’m just gonna let you take it.

Kaizer – Sure he’s not invincible, but d*mned if he doesn’t think he is. Also, yea he’s not the most powerful thing to walk Ebberon but I honestly haven’t even displayed the extent of what he can do. Another thing you should remember is that Terrek always has an ulterior motive. Need I remind you that Serene is also Terrek’s ploy to keep Satnak in line? Nothing’s gonna tick him off more than having his plans undermined, which is what’s happening here. I’ve also got a lot of character development things to do with him yet; he’s really very complicated; I just haven’t gotten around to it. For now, just roll with it. You’ll see in the end exactly why he is the way he is.
.
Crystalforged

08-11-06, 11:56 PM		OOC: Crystalforged. That. Was. Hilarious. What is it with you and Carebears, anyway? :D And as far as best behavior...for this crew, I'm sorry to say, you've been witnessing it during the camp...
Nothing personal, they're just a really easy whipping boy. They're supposed to be happy and cute but are more annoying and vaugely creepy.

OOKaizer: Tell me about it. They still give me nightmares.
OOC: So very true. Great Fairy's Mask from LoZ: Majora's Mask...*shudder*
(shudder) Tell me about it. Whoever thought to put those, "things", in a game has a mind more sick and twisted than my own.

Oh, and the Great Fairy's Mask is bad but I have to say that in my opinion the "Kamaro's Mask" is worse. The faceless gyrations from that mask have scared me for life and may very well be responsible for how screwed up I am today. (whimper) Make it stop mommy...
rampant

08-11-06, 11:57 PM		OOC: Well for him it would be planned , doesnn't mean he'd let Satnak in on it.
------------------

Kanatash - We're in deep this time aren't we?

Kithle - Yep.

Sa'vor - Time to start bone as a verb again then?

Naz'roth - We're boned.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-12-06, 12:34 AM		Oh, and the Great Fairy's Mask is bad but I have to say that in my opinion the "Kamaro's Mask" is worse. The faceless gyrations from that mask have scared me for life and may very well be responsible for how screwed up I am today. (whimper) Make it stop mommy...
OOC: :eek: GAHHHH!!!! NOOO!!!! Make it stop! It burns! IIIITTTT BUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNSSSSS!!!!!!!!

You just HAD to bring up that painful memory, DIDN'T you?! ;)

OK, time for something completely random...

IC:

The two stare at the bizzare sight before them. Several different colored floating jellyfish-like creatures flee from a yellow circle thing with what can only be assumed to be a large mouth. A distinct *waka-waka* sound can be heard as it moves.

Lisa: :twitch: The hell?

Terra: Ok, what's up with this?

Narrative Element Explanation Bird: Arrr. This here be Pac-Man's World. The yellow creature be Pac-Man, Lord o' tha' land. Them thar ghosties be his b*tches. Raawwkk!!! *whistle*

At this time, the ghost things run by followed closely by Pac-Man.

Ghosts: :eek: RUN AWAY!

Pac-Man: Geh' in mah bell-ah!!! *chomp*

The eyes of the consumed ghost flee as *200pts* floats above Pac-Man. He continues in pursuit of the remaining ghosts, also following a line of pellets that float in the air just at his mouth hight.

Terra: :twitch: This world makes no sense, even by our standards.

Lisa: Was this place created in some drug induced hallucination?

N.E.E.B.: Yarrr...*whistle*
Crystalforged

08-12-06, 01:34 AM		Say, Kaizer, are you familiar with the game "Skies of Arcadia"? I know someone other than me on this thread has played it but I can't remember who. Anyways the thought just popped into my head, "How would Terra and Lisa, or even the crew in general react if they suddenly got dumped into that reality?" Anyways, please excuse my ramblings, I'm just getting a little impatient waiting for Caralot to get back. I've got a bunch of ideas but I can't do them until after the wedding, which I can't do until Caralot gets back, which won't happen until Terra and Lisa get back. (sigh) I'm not trying to put any pressure on you, I know its not YOUR fault things are taking so long, but I just needed to vent some frustrations here.
rampant

08-12-06, 02:02 AM		Serene - What are we gonna do?

Ketty - I don't know, no one can oppose 1 riven and a Sirinon, 5 and 2 is beyond even the power of the Individual Titans.

Satnak - Forbes could beat them, Forbes has power over pain.

Ketty - Forbes isn't here and we both know he is limited in his ability to leave the school.

Satnak - Yeah ITs not worth it to forbes to violate his treaty with the Clans despite the reduction in power... Forbes is smart... Smart enough not to send a potencially hostile sibling at me without a control and unless Disarray has something you want bad.

Ketty - ... Tirmek, She has Tirmek.

Serene - Who?

Satnak - By the look on your face, either my niece or nephew.

Ketty - Your nephew, ... my son by Toren.

Satnak - So he's Half-Nazarune Rakshasa?

Ketty - Yes.

Satnak - How old?

Ketty - as yet Unborn, he is in stasis until such time as Disarray releases him. He was stored right at the point where he would have been born had we not been being put back together in Forbes's lab.

Satnak - We have a viable if not socially acceptable heir then.

Ketty - Thats one mark.

Serene and Terrek - Mark?

Ketty - Clan Legal proceedings on this subject are highly ritualized. The arguments that would give them legal precedence are more like a questionaire. If we can present enough "marks" against their claims we can hold them back. Now in this case its harder because the Sirinon are granted special rights and auto-matic wins in the case of a tie, and certain kill points. Lack of an heir is a kill point, as it is we have less heirs than legacies and the one canidate we do have is outside our control, and only half-mortal. The kill points are more complicated than that, but they all rely on the lack of an heir issue. There is still the concern of them winning or tieing normally as well as some concessions made to them due to their status.

Satnak - We cannot claim them to be unworthy without outstanding shows of weakness or vice on their part. We cannot challenge them to a duel, well we could but if we fought them they could use the Riven against us. Terrek could fight for Serene,

Ketty - But that doesn't save you.

Terrak - We have a lawyer you know.

Satnak - :lightbulb Reman could help.

Serene - First things First silly girl.

Satnak - Of course, DESERAE!

Disarray - How many times Satnak? How many times?

Satnak - 31 so far :P Give my nephew back to his mother.

Disarray ports in.

Disarray - Fine

Disarray reaches into h-is/er purple body and withdraws a small barrel. S/He hands it gently to Ketty. H-is/er form now significantly smaller Disarray oozes out through the floor.

Ketty - THank you :weep:
Kaizer_Ryu

08-12-06, 02:09 AM		Say, Kaizer, are you familiar with the game "Skies of Arcadia"?
Am I? HELL YES! That game is awesome! The ship battles are probably my favorite part. I know that at least urial angel of death and Rei32491 are as well, and if I remember correctly rampant is too (someone commented on my rules re: SoA, I think it was him).

This is yet another instance of being "future psychic". I was planning to send them there soon. How could I not? :D
rampant

08-12-06, 02:25 AM		OOC: Never Played SoA myself I just have a pretty good idea of what air-ship combat is like. You read enough Horatio Hornblower, and spend enough time around pilots, engineers and planes. You learn things.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-12-06, 07:09 AM		OOC: I don't want to tell you how to play your character, but I must say my piece. Terrek's "I'm more powerful than anything else in the history of ever" is getting really annoying. Stat wise, the preliminary ones I have for Terra aren't that much lower. They're even higher in some spots. He's not anywhere near invincible. No one is. Anyway, energy/level/soul/whatever drain isn't that hard to counter with the resources at the disposal of most of the ubers. I understand that Terrek has a god complex, and that his stats have improved since those posted on the Wiki, but this recent behavior kind of validates SilvercatMoonpaw's idea that power leads to stupidity.

Ok, end rant.
Seconded, I mean no offence or Ill in this. But we've had some serius power creap here over time and all it seems to be these days is
Charicter 1: Ha, me teh Uber!
Charicter 2: Yonk, me Teh uberer!!
Charicter 3: Me teh Uberist!!!
Plot device
Its starting to remind me of my eary atempts at Gming, less D&D more monty hall. Could we start finding ways to tone down the power. I have absolutely nothing aginst powerfull charicters, hell Every campeghn I run has the asumption of going epic if the players live long enough [side effect of playing Exalted] but this is getting dull to be honest. :rolleye2: :rant:
Endless_Helix

08-12-06, 07:35 AM		OOC: Why do you think I jumped on Camp Freedom? It was a brilliant and simple way of lower the average power level. I have to agree with Eled, We've got a lot of "fantasy characters", meaning ones that people think are cool ideas, but wouldn't play in an actual DnD because their power level is too ridiculously high...

Actually, come to think of it, I'm almost guilty of having my fantasy character in here. But Nemisis is only level eight, going on nine though, so it's not as noticable. She is probably amongst the most powerful campers, but still...
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-12-06, 08:04 AM		Say, Kaizer, are you familiar with the game "Skies of Arcadia"? I know someone other than me on this thread has played it but I can't remember who. Anyways the thought just popped into my head, "How would Terra and Lisa, or even the crew in general react if they suddenly got dumped into that reality?" Anyways, please excuse my ramblings, I'm just getting a little impatient waiting for Caralot to get back. I've got a bunch of ideas but I can't do them until after the wedding, which I can't do until Caralot gets back, which won't happen until Terra and Lisa get back. (sigh) I'm not trying to put any pressure on you, I know its not YOUR fault things are taking so long, but I just needed to vent some frustrations here.
OOC: I know it. Got to remember to finish it one of these days. Really funny, lots of fun.
Caralot will get back when the time is right. I've got something to introduce that requires it not interrupt the honeymoon.
As for the power thing: most people seem to forget that this is a narrative, not a game. For your character to succeed all you have to do is say "My character succeeds." If it seems impossible just invoke a Narrative Element:.
IC: 13: This whole Riven/Sirinon thing, did we miss a post somewhere back?

Bunny: Since when has our entity been able to remember yesterday?

OOcat: I think I remember something about psionic dragonmarks. Unless we're not meant to understand that bit.

Silver: It's like a soap-opera in here. I mean, first her dead sister isn't dead, now she's had a kid.

13: By a rakshasa.

OOcat: I thought I was the one who was supposed to have rakshasas as an integrated part of my world?

Silver: So……what is Caralot doing right now?

OOcat: Speaking of soap-operas………
cypher_zero

08-12-06, 08:20 AM		OOC: Actually, I’ve got to agree with you guys. It seems like nearly all of the Ubers are insanely powerful – so much more so than their levels would otherwise suggest. While I am guilty of this as well (duh!) I will say that I was trying to keep Terrek as true to the rulebooks as possible. Unfortunately, most of the already established characters weren’t hence the reason for the “power boost.” However, as SCMP said, this is a narrative, not a game. On a side note, anyone wanna try and DM this group ;) ? Anyways, as I said before, just let Terrek’s actions be. I’ve got a good reason why he acts the way he does, and honestly, how many times have you seen him “throw his weight around” as Satnak is/was prone to doing? Lastly, if Terrek ever actually has to fight, it means his plans have totally f’d up and he’s desperate. Or he just wants to eat your soul, which he’ll only do if he’s entirely sure you stand no chance against him or has something else up his sleeve. Just try to keep in mind that everything is a subtle machination on Terrek’s part, even his apparent displays of power. One last thing: I’m pretty sure that Terrek is the only one on the ship actively pursuing more power. Everyone else just kinda stays where they’re at power-wise. And for the record, I’d be more afraid of Terrek when he’s not trying to scare the crap out of you, cause if he does something like what he did with Ketty, he’s just trying to scare you. If he really wanted to kill you, he wouldn’t face you head on. He isn’t a martial character after all, he’s a sorcerer. Whenever he does something like that, like I said, he’s just going for the, “I’m gonna scare the crap outta you,” route.
.
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-12-06, 08:30 AM		Sa'vor fades into existance between Ketty and Satnak. Instantly he feels a cold blade press against his throat. he rolls his eyes, how predictable.

Sa'vor: I wouldnt do that if i was you....

Ketty: oh really? what are you going to do ?

Sa'vor: *evil grin* fact one: i currently have a destruction retrebution ability. this at its normal setting could very well knock you back and cause significant damage. but moments ago i just flooded this ability with a large portion of my power. on my death this explosion of negative and positive energy will cause what Ketler would call " A nuculear explosion", not only that but every one caught in the blast radius would be completly obliterated soul and all.

Ketty: ah yes, but so would you (pressing the blade just a tiny bit as to break the skin)

Sa'vor: *waving a finger theatricaly as if to scould a child* If you'd researched this crew you would know full well that i would use the unleashed energies from your deaths help me reform in one of my many crypts.

for a few moments she held the blade there a look of grim determination in her eyes and face. All the while Sa'vor matched that look with an evil smile all his own

Ketty: *sulkily*Alright.

She lowered the blade.

Satnak: now why are you here Sa'vor? let me guess, you have a plan?

Sa'vor: *grinning* oh yes, you want to get out of this wedding right? (satnak nods) well, there are two possible ways we could do this. the first is easy, the second would require me revealing a bit of knowledge.

Satnak: whats the first plan?

Sa'vor: well, for a few years now in the assassin circles there has been some news of a poision used to fake deaths. though the general populous havnt found out about it, it is still extremly useful. it is known as Langourwine, one drop in any blood stream mimics the effects of death. and there is no way of if they are under the effects of langourwine or if they are actualy dead. what do you think?

OOC: note, Sa'vor could actualy be Bluffing at this part. he could easily not have this power or it wouldnt be able to destroy the ship.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-12-06, 08:47 AM		OOC: Actually, I’ve got to agree with you guys. It seems like nearly all of the Ubers are insanely powerful – so much more so than their levels would otherwise suggest. While I am guilty of this as well (duh!) I will say that I was trying to keep Terrek as true to the rulebooks as possible. Unfortunately, most of the already established characters weren’t hence the reason for the “power boost.” However, as SCMP said, this is a narrative, not a game. On a side note, anyone wanna try and DM this group ;) ? Anyways, as I said before, just let Terrek’s actions be. I’ve got a good reason why he acts the way he does, and honestly, how many times have you seen him “throw his weight around” as Satnak is/was prone to doing? Lastly, if Terrek ever actually has to fight, it means his plans have totally f’d up and he’s desperate. Or he just wants to eat your soul, which he’ll only do if he’s entirely sure you stand no chance against him or has something else up his sleeve. Just try to keep in mind that everything is a subtle machination on Terrek’s part, even his apparent displays of power. One last thing: I’m pretty sure that Terrek is the only one on the ship actively pursuing more power. Everyone else just kinda stays where they’re at power-wise. And for the record, I’d be more afraid of Terrek when he’s not trying to scare the crap out of you, cause if he does something like what he did with Ketty, he’s just trying to scare you. If he really wanted to kill you, he wouldn’t face you head on. He isn’t a martial character after all, he’s a sorcerer. Whenever he does something like that, like I said, he’s just going for the, “I’m gonna scare the crap outta you,” route.
.
Sadly thats just my problem, for me Terrek was the straw taht broke the donkeys back, Hes SO powerfull and you spend SO much time stressing over and over how much of a planner ect he is. To be honest I was baulking at Satnack but its just gone too far now. I think its discoraging new postesrs too, unless you can add something in that deals with the Ubers its hard to get established here. How about a rule that we only introduce low level chars from now on, with levels and new powers ony occuring when other people take an intrest in them. (Yes I know Chanse starting at lv 20 was a violation of this, Im happy to prune him as hes prven less intresting than I hoped. Meh I only added him to wright that action sene that served as an intro.)

I mean what are we going to do for the next big plot event? weve already seen, and countered, one atempted manafestation of Khyber himself. Where next? answer: someone tops it, and the ante is upped again. Ive seen people Joking about Elminsters impact ob Forgotten realms but as it stands the Forgotten fredom is worse than all the chosen together.
cypher_zero

08-12-06, 09:09 AM		OOC: Eled - Mayhap you're right. I'll deal with it soon enough though

Kale - OBLIVION!!!
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-12-06, 09:11 AM		I mean what are we going to do for the next big plot event? weve already seen, and countered, one atempted manafestation of Khyber himself. Where next? answer: someone tops it, and the ante is upped again. Ive seen people Joking about Elminsters impact ob Forgotten realms but as it stands the Forgotten fredom is worse than all the chosen together.
OOcat: :shifty: *cou-* GetthembackontopofthePirateRankings *-gh*
rampant

08-12-06, 10:35 AM		OOC: Focus people, as to the riven and the Sirinon what don't you get? The Sirinon are the Lords of legacy clans and have access to the dreaded Riven who can warp reality around their Sirinon masters.
---------------------------------

Satnak - Ok couple things wrong with that plan.

Ketty - One how could we explain her "death"? Suicide no one would believe it.

Satnak - Would it even work on me anymore?

Ketty - ...We need to talk about that. The Sirinon are hardly slouches when it comes to deceptions, this sounds like a trick the Current LOrd's grandfather pulled. Quite possibly its also how he and Tormos escaped the hunters.

Serene - Keep this option open, but it sounds like we need more ideas.
Rei32491

08-12-06, 11:41 AM		OOC: While I am guilty of this as well (duh!) I will say that I was trying to keep Terrek as true to the rulebooks as possible. :rolleyes:

I’m pretty sure that Terrek is the only one on the ship actively pursuing more power.
:blink: ...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!
HELLO! Nalfein the Pyromanaical Attention Wh*re!

Ok, I'm done.
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-12-06, 12:48 PM		OOC: Cypher- looks like you caught me. but the darkbrotherhood is just so damn fun. *especial when you have to kill off all the house guests one by one without them finding you out*

IC:

Sa'vor *Devilishly evil smile* Oh it works on anything living. even poision immune creatures. also, we would have to stage a battle between some assassins and Satnak. nothing to big, but these assassins would have to be very skilled to make it seem as if Satnak had fallen in combat against them.
Of course there is always my second plan... but you wont like it, and i'll probably get killed.

Ketty: how so?

Sa'vor: Well.... I happen to have a little somthing set up incase any of the crew members turned on me. so i set up a system of Necrotic cysts in each of you. these are not your standard Cysts, these are specialy designed by Naz'roth. they are completly undetectable by any means, they are very easy to implant and cannot be removed ... because any attempt to remove them triggers it to enlarge and devour the hosts soul and body.

Satnak: *anger in her voice* you've had cysts planted in each and every one of us. even though we're the closest thing to friends you've got.

Sa'vor: *backing away* i knew you wouldnt like it. look, it was only as an insurance policy against any of you killing me. i didnt even want to tell you about them because i knew you'd get like this. All i have to do is when they arrive appear to turn on you all, trigger the cysts to kill you WITHOUT devouring your souls. i get killed by the other crew members, i reform in my crypt. IF they leave we bring you back, to stop any attempts of them using reserection Naz'roth will draw your souls into some of our soul gems.

Satnak: and what if they dont leave?

Sa'vor: then it looks like we'll need a back up plan.
luna18moon

08-12-06, 12:52 PM		Slaypaw slips a note under Andrea's door, grinning.
Andrea:
We have Marish. Meet us next to the mast at midnight tonight, or we turn her over to the campers. Some of them have been trying to find someone safe to prank for ages...
Signed,
The Cats
Kaizer_Ryu

08-12-06, 01:17 PM		OOC: *sigh* Lord Kale Fangblade, that's the kind of thing we've been talking about. Some things are just too powerful. If there's no way to counter it, what's the point of the game? We already have too many things that are "difficult to counter", and the list of "impossible to counter" keeps growing. It's just not fun when that happens. There must always be something limiting its application or usefulness. A price, whether XP, rare components, permanent ability damage, death, some situational limiting factor, etc.

Difficult to counter is something I'm willing to roll with (hell, I've done my fair share of them), but an impossible to counter instant death move? No.
rampant

08-12-06, 02:31 PM		Satnak - Was that what this is? (the flesh of her tail surges and roiles until a small internal growth is forced to the surface, still connected to her flesh, but obviosly starved of necesarry nutrition. ) I starved it out when I re-arranged my internal workings. And I promise you a painful passing from existance if you did any such thing to Serene.

Terrek - Ditto.

Ketty - Keep away from me and my child vile ghoul. (clutches Tirmek's Stasis pod close)

Serene - :eek:

Satnak - Sa'vor go now get Wescal, squishy, and whoever else might be useful, While your at it get rid of these cysts *tail flick*. Ketty, How much time?

Ketty - Any time within the week, but you should have a day or two at least.

Serene - Daddy get them started, and Have Kithle send Death Paper to rouse the infirmary. We should get Tirmek decanted Immediatly, I wanna see him.

Satnak - And no more faking death routines, we have plenty of those. Besides what happens when, no ifs when, they find out I'm not dead?
urial angel of death

08-12-06, 03:04 PM		OOC: One problem I have with the post were Sa'vor comes in. Ketty isn't acting in the way a real mother would. If there was a risk of an explosion around her child I would assume she would have stopped that risk (i.e. theatening Sa'vor). Then again this is just a nit pick.

As for power tripping. I prefer to nolonger actually stat my characters. I view that it limits what I can do with a story. Also I feel that Terrek's I'm better than you speeches are getting pretty old. Many of the Ubers are equal if not strong than him (i.e. Sa'vor, Satnak, Terra) After all one ring of protection from negative energy nulifies most of Terrek's abilities (everything that has to do with soul sucking). I kind of miss the good old days when Kanatash was the most powerful character on the ship.

I have a few storylines to start up, but I'm waiting for Satnak's thing to finish and one of them needs Terra, Lisa, and P/Y/R back.

Finally where is Chrys?
rampant

08-12-06, 05:03 PM		OOC: Never written for a mother before cut me some slack, also she spent most of her pregnancy and labor asleep in a tube remember. Her instincts are a little behind the curve.
--------------------------------------------

Ketty - This placce is huge!

Satnak - Given the number of injuries on board we tend to pump alot into the med funds.

Ketty - ...

Satnak - If he's anything like we were at that age he will be causing the injuries.

Ketty - :rolleyes:

Serene - :bounce: this is so exciting.

Satnak - Do we any trustworty doctors on board?
Gladius_Lucix

08-12-06, 05:17 PM		Satnak - Do we any trustworty doctors on board?
ooc: Mickey Ninefingers, if Fetal Alcohol Syndrome wouldn't be a problem. Silver should know what's going on. That's all I've got.

----
Liam: Well, :censored:. In the same week that I'm supposed to give a demonstration of the Converter, we're getting attacked by reality warping :censored:s from Satnak's home plane. I need help.

Liam sits down to write a letter back to Warren.


Hello, Warren.
I have a favor to ask of you. I just got word that there will be a major upheaval of the space time continuum in the vicinity of the Forgotten Freedom. I need an unofficial reschedule, so, for their safety and sanity, could you keep the University staff away until I send word? Thanks.

Liam.

Liam: Thir-

13: It'll be there before sunset.

Liam: -teen. Wow, that's some quick mail. Now to keep from being ripped apart with the rest of reality. First, the Weir/Insan Shield. Then, I'll go talk to Satnak.

Strapping on the shield generator, Liam pats the squirrel gossip on the head, tosses it a nut, and heads off to find Satnak.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-12-06, 05:35 PM		OOC: Focus people, as to the riven and the Sirinon what don't you get? The Sirinon are the Lords of legacy clans and have access to the dreaded Riven who can warp reality around their Sirinon masters.
OOC: :blink: You're being sarcastic……right? :twitch:
******
Liam: Wow, that's some quick mail.
13: It helps that Igor's head polstal worker. He gives lessons in special henchmen techniques (appear right behind someone when they say your name) for free.
****
Silver: A baby is being decanted? I am so there.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-12-06, 05:58 PM		ooc: Just finished reading Brave New World then Silver?
rampant

08-12-06, 06:25 PM		OOC: :rolleyes: When am I not being Sarcastic?
-----------------------------------

Silver - (stares at small barrel on the table) :ahem: :lightbulb Ketty open the Latch, and press the button under the panel that opens.

Satnak - How did he know that?

Silver - Goddess of fertility remember.

Ketty does as instructeed and the barrel peels itself to reveal a steel arch set sideways around a globe of quintessence. Within which hovers an infant bundled in brown cloth.

Silver - Take the child, the quintessence will evaporate once removed from the sphere.

Ketty Snatches the bundled child and without waiting for the quintessence to evaporate wipes Tirmek's face with her cloak.

Ketty - Tirmek, oh sweet gods Tirmek. :weep:

Serene - He's waking up.

Satnak - He's got his mother's eyes.

Silver - Great another glarer.

Serene - Oh he's so cute. That hair, look at his little nose. He looks like a little fluffy kitten.

Satnak - I wonder if he's got a tail?

Tirmek - Waaaaaaaaaaaah

Silver - Healthy lungs on that one. All right everyone out. This is alone time for the mother and child. Shoo!.
cypher_zero

08-12-06, 07:46 PM		OOC: Ok, here's what I'm going to do. I'm "dropping" Terrek's level to about 50 (he was too powerful. I was almost about to fall prey to the power=stupidity thing). He didn't need to be that powerful anyways for what I'm planning. Actually, almost the opposite.

Kale- Kaizer is right. No counter = bad. (*Note* - Wouldn't work on Terrek anyways. Or Serene for that matter. Both are technicially Living Construct Abberations. Cysts don't work on constructs. Most necromancy doesn't; gotta keep some rules intact after all.) Along those same lines, I think I'll tone down exactly how much power Terrek has on is plane. Too tempting to solve every problem by dragging it there.

I hope that helps with the balance issue a bit. Also, how bout we have some kind of "Narrative XP?" Some measure of deciding exactly how much our characters progress; preferably by consensus. And let's set max ECL for new characters at 30, which is less than all the present ubers, but still up there. I figure by now this crazy boat harbor the most powerful beings on the planet; those trying to get to that level would natural venture here. And as another thing: Include a narrative reason as to why you character has the classes and the levels that they do. We really do need to keep ourselves in check a bit better. Otherwise this will start to degrade (yes I'm guilty too).
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-12-06, 08:07 PM		OOC: it is possible to counter it but Sa'vor wouldnt tell them that (even if they are his friends, he knows the vicious nature of people; his childhood taught him that). he doesnt like people knowing all the answers, especialy if he could gain an advantage.

IC:
Sa'vor sighed, so well for backup plan A. What he hadn’t told them was though relatively simple to apply.. they'd been devilishly difficult to create and maintain, they required several rare ingredients, a portion of his own personal power, blood, sacrifices and each contained a tiny portion of Sa'vors own soul. Sa'vor had already fetched the others, now he sat in his lab examining many dark tomes... he couldn’t remove them. no that would cause their deaths. then it struck him, He could transfer the cysts so that they where within himself! using the mothercyst next to his own heart he would call them to him using a kind of teleport system, it would cost him but as ordered they would be free of the cysts. He began to write down various arcane sigils and formulae... then the list of ingredients required to balance the equation. Sa'vor winced, that would be difficult to acquire.

Sa'vor rose and severed one of his fingers, it fell lifeless to the ground. he began to draw the Summoning circle with his own blood. placing six smaller circles within the Pentacle then a larger centre circle which he would sit in.
he then placed a candle at each of the points, they where black as night. the fire once lit would be black, these where Backfire candles. quite rare.
Sa'vor then placed his severed finger within one of the lesser circles.

Sa'vor: well that’s one ingredient done. (he crossed out the first heading on his list )

A part of the Cyst creator
A Silver Holy symbol (blessed by a highup member of a holy order)
Dragons heart
Angels tears (concetrated)
A Vial of pure darkness (concentrated)
Blood of those in which the cyst where housed. (fresh)

he also noted down the chant he would be required to invoke. he frowned, it was difficult, requiring him to do it in magical darkness on unhallowed ground. first speaking it in Dark speech, then speaking it in reverse. it was quite like the cyst creation rituals, and like them it would take a week to complete. Sa'vor stretched, his mind began to wander on the consequences... most likely he would have to spend at least a day unconscious within the circle once the ritual was complete, one within him he would have to absorbed the cysts into his mother cysts and so replacing the parts of his soul that where within the cysts.

Sa'vor raised his hand and teleported to Satnaks location,

Sa'vor: Okay, To remove the cysts I’ll need from everyone of the Ubers a sample of blood.

Satnak: * glare* I thought you already had that

Sa'vor: this has to be Fresh, otherwise there would be inconsistencies within the ritual. i could end up triggering them if the blood is wrong or if i do any part of the chant wrong. Or i could end up pulling myself within the cysts.
Just to reverse the cysts creation process i have to give up the living part of me. meaning that i will have the same weaknesses as most undead.

Satnak: Why should i trust you after what you've just revealed?

Sa'vor: you don’t have to trust me. Kyber, you can even watch me do the ritual. i would like to note that it will take a week to complete, a whole week. even after that I’ll be incapacitated for quite a while, if you want to enact some kind of revenge while im out then do it.

Satnak: don’t you have that whole destruction retribution thing?

Sa'vor: *evil grin* perhaps. perhaps not. though i doubt killing me is what you intent.

Sa'vor turns and walks away. as he reaches the door he turns back,
Sa'vor: if you get your revenge. Whatever you do, do not in anyway damage the Pentacle or disturb it while im out.

Sa'vor vanished into the shadows...
rampant

08-12-06, 08:26 PM		Chalky - He's waking up fuschia, with muave polka-dots.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-12-06, 09:57 PM		Silver: Sa'vor's gettin' no love.

13: Yeah…where's Slip?

Bunny: Eh, she'll turn up. I applaud Sa'vor's willingness to give up being living undead. That state totally sucks for me.

Silver: He did it under pain of Satnak.

Bunny: Even better. :devil:

13: Um… :blink:

Bunny: You have a look on your face.

13: If Slip's not around, who's controlling the ship?

Silver: I thought I heard something about her training to control it telepathically.

13: :thinks: Then when she and Sa'vor—

The ship does a barrel roll.
Gladius_Lucix

08-12-06, 10:55 PM		Liam finds Satnak outside of the infirmary.

Liam: Satnak, do you still have that shield generator I gave you during the Pun-Pun fight?

Satnak: Yeah, why?

Liam: Well, I heard about what's happening from the squirrels, and those reality warping Riven seem like the perfect opponent to use the generator against.

Satnak: Possibly. I doubt it will stay useful for very long, though.

Liam: I have an idea of how to improve upon it. I'll need something connected to a static plane. I might be able to get something whipped up from that. If I find that, I'll let you know.

Satnak: Good luck with the search.

Liam: Same to you with the fight.
Rei32491

08-12-06, 10:57 PM		OOC: I must finish this before all hell breaks loose.

IC:

Nalfein: I am most impressed. We'll finish this up after a short break. It's past dinnertime and I haven't eaten yet.

A Redshirt wheels out a cart with several covered dishes. After incinerating him, Nalfein pulls off the lids, revealing full spread turkey dinner.

Nalfein: Mmmmmm...this looks amazing. I'm starving.

He starts eating slowly, announcing his delight at the meal after every bite.

Nalfein: Oh, man. Norbaz has out done himself on this one. The turkey's so tender and juicy. The mashed potatos are light and fluffy...

*SNAP!*

A half dozen disheveled campers jump out and charge him. You should know what happens to them by now.

Nalfein: Ok, I'm done with this.

He snaps his fingers and another Redshirt comes up, grabs the cart, and runs like hell. He makes it about 50 yards before immolation.

Nalfein: Now, seeing as one of you has managed to resist all my attempts to get you to come out, I am required to give you a name as per the reward for passing my class. However, seeing as I am a lying, cheating bastard, I have placed a Mage mark on the backs of all the students who entered.

Camper: *behind a ridge* YOU SON OF A-!

Nalfein: (i.h.h.) He won't expect this... :devil: (out loud) GATE!

A gate opens beneath the camper, and he falls right in front of an Imp.

Camper: You're kidding...

The Imp begins twitching, finally exploding in a gush of blood and gore.

Camper: EEEEWWWWW!!!!!! What the he-? :eek: :OMG!

In place of the Imp is a Prismatic Hellfire Wyrm.

Nalfein: *as the gate closes* Din din! Eat up my widdle schnookums!

PHW: :devil: :drool:

*BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM OF EXTREME PAIN*

Nalfein: Ahhhhh...music to my ears...
rampant

08-13-06, 12:20 AM		Earl - It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't broadcast to me. Elementals just don't reproduce like that. :eek: :mad:
----------------------------------
Later

Saberiel - Excuse me, can I come in?

Ketty - ... Your not gonna try anything are you?

Saberiel - I know better than to mess with Satnak, also by all accounts your almost as deadly and significantly faster.

Ketty - Um alright.

Saberiel - This is my daughter Lady.

Ketty - Oh Hello. I suppose you want to see Tirmek?

Saberiel - Yes, ... actually Satnak sent me in here because she thought I might have some advice for you. She's outside glaring at anyone who comes too close to the door.

Ketty - She always did get a little crazy about protecting me. I always wondered why she thought she needed to protect her big sister.

Saberiel - Satnak is... crazy, don't give me that look we both know it. Look at how quickly she forgave you. She had everything ripped from her when she was less than a decade old, now she fights maniacly to hold onto everything she has.

Ketty - Thats the way to say it Maniacle. What I remember of our fight is images of her with one arm and punctured torso screaming insanely. I hope to never see that look in her eyes again. :(

Saberiel - So Tirmek your a fuzzy one aren't you. Your gonna be tested little one.

Ketty - What do you mean?

Saberiel - He is born of the fiends, they will not let him go so easily. -sigh- Just like my little girl.

Lady is peering intently at Tirmek's open eyes.

Lady - KITTY!
Kaizer_Ryu

08-13-06, 01:57 AM		OOC: Just to point out, Saberiel and Lady are still with Caralot.

Meh. Narrative elements. Go figure.

IC:

The ground shakes and mountains evaporate as a magical duel takes place in the sky. A group watches from a slight distance, including a spiky red-haired young man, a blonde girl with a ponytail, what Lisa can only figure to be some kind of Warforged, another blonde in animal skins, a purple haired girl with large glasses, and a frog-type humanoid. Terra and a blue-haired man of about 30 fly back to the group as the duel ends.

Terra: So? How'd I do?

Magus: I was...mildly amused...

Marle: :rolleyes: You said the same thing when Lavos came out.

Magus: I found its power less than impressive.

Lucca: It destroyed Zeal in a matter of minutes!

Magus: Bah. It wasn't so tough. I give you a 3.

Lisa: Out of 5?

Magus: Out of 10.

Terra: Ouch.

Robo: Do not be fooled. He does not give compliments easily. He gave Lavos a 2.5.

Crono: ...

Frog: Indeed. He doth need to "lighten up".

Lisa: Oh, yeah. Thanks for sparring with me.

Frog: Think nothing of it. Thou hath great skill with a blade.

Lisa: :D

Ayla: Lisa and Terra strong. Ayla like. Show you village next time.

Lisa: If we come back this way, we'll take that invitation.

Crono: ...

Magus: *annoyed* Yes, yes, I know. I promised a critique. Hmmmm... You wield great power, but you're too haphazard with it. Constantly bombarding your opponent with spells only works for so long.

Terra: I wouldn't mind sparring with you again. I'm sure he'd like it, too...*points beside Crono*

OOKazier currently has gigantic cow eyes as he stares at Crono as only a fanboy can.

Crono: ...

Lisa: Believe me. We know. You should have seen him around Link.

Crono: ...

Terra: Sure. *to OOKaizer* Come on...

OOKaizer: :bigeyes: :weep: But-

Lisa: No buts. You promised you wouldn't overdo the hero worship.

OOKaizer: :( Awwwwww....
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-13-06, 07:41 AM		After many weeks of stalking the corodors of the ship Chanse has finaly met Jarlot, sittin in Eriksplace in three day old clothes getting drunker by the mug.

Chanse: "So your the village Iddiot then? Strange, I thought youd be taller." [tone of pride stining mokery]

Jarlor [drunk and sluring] "H'w D're y'u! 'm Admiral Jarlor ir'Lyrandar, mighty Pirate."

Chanse "Save it for the campers old man, taht line didn't work for Gybrush threepwood, and it doset work for you. You call yourself a pirate? yuor nothing but a drunk. Admiral? While you sit here drinking to forget your sorrows and end out numbing yourself to past joys as well? while Ubers, mear men and wouman, your crew no less have more say in the shaping of this ships fate than you. And as for mighty the five nations Shipping comission has us down as retired, were not even in the running any more. Dead in the water."

Jarlot "H'w D're y'u! Y'u Aint bin here five minutes! How dare you talk to me like this? I could have you keelhawled."

Chance: "and yet I do dare, dosent that tell you something? Yove lost the miseque, the awe you used to have. When you lead there was a magic to it, beings no man would even chalaenge folowed you to death, madness and beyond. Now look at you." shakes his head.

Jarlot "Th'y think Im retured?"

Chanse: "Defeated, half of the five nations probibly think your in dreadhold."

Jarlot "B'g'r that!"

Chanse "Who are you?" [tone changing from moking to encoraging]

Jarlot: "I am the Admiral Jarlot ir'Lyrandar, legendary pirate!"

Chance: "Such titles are a burdan, is it the name or the man? Who are you? "

Jarlot "I am Jarlot captain of the Forgotten Freedom!"

Chanse "Better! and waht are you going to do?"

Jarlot "Im going to get us back where we should be, Best pirates in The world!"

Chanse "You going to make us all rich!"

Jarlot "Im going to make us all rich!"

Chanse "You'r going to get the crew in hand again!"

Jarlot "I'm going to get the crew in hand again!"

Chanse "Your going to strike faer into the heart of every captain to sail sky or sea!"

Jarlot "Im going to strike fear into every Captain to sail sky or Sea!"

Chanse "Your going to cease the Flashing Dancer and her crew!"

Jarlot "Im going to cease the Flashing Dancer and her crew!"

Chanse "Then I better leave you to it Captain, if I can be of use I am eager to do so." he heads out, but in an inside poket of his coat the gem he stole, the Tear of Breland, brightens, a swirl of something bluer than the saphire itself begiining to quiken on the risising tide of chayos.

( ooc: I have one slight plan for the flashing Dancer, but need more, if any one has any ideas PM me please. )
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-13-06, 09:09 AM		Silver: :confused: How did Saberiel get back?

13: Timeline hiccup. …(looks over the posts)…At least someone is getting the piratical element back on track.

OOcat: I liked Crono Trigger. Classic. Not as good as Earthbound, but fun.

Bunny: Note to self: PSI moves would makie great ways to kill people.
rampant

08-13-06, 10:28 AM		OOC: Could I get a list of Whos out till When or something, and why would be nice as well :waits: Its irritating finding so many unavailiable.
--------------------

In the great shadowy storm between Multiverses, a small island of light and calm pushes steadily ahead.

Tormos (a young red-haired half-elf with golden eyes) - It is difficult to maintain the sphere even with five Riven.

Lord Sirinon ( an older version of his son only blue eyed and the hair is begining to grey) - Indeed and by all reports Satnak made this crossing in dreadful condition.

Tormos - The warriors of the island are strong, they can do impossible things and treat them as trifles.

Lord Sirinon - Exactly, and any children you sire by the Borisheel girl will also be trained there.

Tormos - Despite her youth Satnak is The Breaker Prime, one of the three Titanic Warlords.

Lord Sirinon - She is strong and will bear powerful children to the Sirinon.

Tormos -...
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-13-06, 12:37 PM		( ooc: Rampant, tahnks, I needed to do this any way, Silver, as you also want them back as pirates any help is apreceated, Ive got one thread planned but Id like to emblelish it with more, so any sugestions from any one are wealcome)

Jarlot, now Sober[er] and in a clean dress uniform strides onto the main deck
"Now you listen to me you shiftless leavings of a droam press gang, all able bodyed and willing bucanears are to report to my ready room... Rosvelt, you are to build me a ready room. We are piarates and its about time we started acting like it! Im not forcing you but shares of the spoils will go only to those who participate, and those who do not will be rembered."
(ooc: If other folks can help me figure out whose intrested and or willing and post em it can also serve as a reference for other peoples plotlines )
Kaizer_Ryu

08-13-06, 01:45 PM		OOC: Jarlot actually functions better when drunk. He's also not a member of the Lyrandar house. His full name? Jarlot Jarlot. Seriously. :D

IC:

Admiral Jarlot: Hey there son!

Jarlot: Oh, gods.

Admiral Jarlot: Where do you get off calling yourself an admiral, huh?

Jarlot: I was drunk, ok. More so than usual. And depressed.

Admiral Jarlot: You're just being a wimp. You haven't been keeping the ladies aboard satisfied, either. You call yourself a Captain?

Jarlot: I've barely been mentioned in 25 pages! And I've been keeping them plenty satisfied. It's not like I've had much else to do.

Admiral Jarlot: Like hell you have! Look at this fine young lady right here.

Tifa: *latches onto Jarlot's arm* Love me!

Admiral Jarlot: See?

Jarlot: She doesn't count.

Tifa: :weep:
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-13-06, 02:23 PM		Ooc: :doh: :gah: You know seeing as I regestered here for this thread only I should know that shouldnt I? :blush:
Kaizer_Ryu

08-13-06, 02:46 PM		Ooc: :doh: :gah: You know seeing as I regestered here for this thread only I should know that shouldnt I? :blush:OOC: Meh. No big deal. Even Jarlot gets delerious if he gets too drunk (which is very difficult, admittedly, but still possible).

IC:

*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM*

Ratchet: Boo-yah!

Terra: You get paid for this?

Ratchet: Hard to believe, huh?

Lisa: You demolish planets in the name of liberating them...

Ratchet: To put it negatively, yes.

Lisa: ...yet the people love you?

Clank: Confounding, is it not?

Lisa: That's an understatement.

Terra: Most of the crew would kill to live here. Though I think you may be trying a little too hard to compensate for something...

Ratchet: *holding a gun bigger than he is* What do you mean by tha-

Clank laughs heartilly as Ratchet figures it out.

Ratchet: :mad: :blush: Hey! I am not!

Terra: :D
rampant

08-13-06, 03:21 PM		Satnak - I knew I kept you around for a reason. Go pillaging I've stuff to take care of here.

Three Headed Prismatic Uber Wyrm (THPUW) - Why do I get the scud jobs?
Crystalforged

08-13-06, 04:20 PM		I kind of miss the good old days when Kanatash was the most powerful character on the ship.
Kanatash: :weep: I miss those days too.

OOCrystalforged: :rolleye2: Oh, suck it up. Your still about third or fourth most powerful individual on the ship, heck in Eberron really.

Kanatash: :raincloud Yeah, but I used to be the first...

OOCrystalforged: But would being more powerful really make you better at driving people insane?

Kanatash: Well... I suppose your right-

OOCrystalforged: -As always.

Kanatash: :bored: ...As I was saying. So then, do you suppose we should get ourselves involved in Satnak's newest plot?

OOCrystalforged: Meh, I don't know. The plot is bizzare enough already and even I can't protect you if you decide to try and mess with Satnak personally, not to mention what she would do if you messed with Serene or Ketty.

Kanatash: True enough, why don't we wait until these Siri/whatever people show up.

OOCrystalforged: And then we let the mindgames begin.

Kanatash: (shaking OOCrystalforged's hand) Pleasure doing business with you.
Gladius_Lucix

08-13-06, 05:45 PM		Liam sits in his lab, scribbling plans.

Liam: ...add this to amplify the planar traits, a Local Area Converter for power, and a Gelman coating to block interference. That should do it. Now that the schematic drawing is done, time to gather the materials. Igor?

Igor: Yeth, thir?

Liam: Could you please gather the materials on this list? It may be something that could prevent the destruction of the ship.

Igor: Thounds helpful, thir.

Liam: Not sure how well it will work, though. If I could get some readings on these Riven coming for Satnak, it might be more useful. But I work with what I have. Thank you for your help, Igor.

Igor: You're welcome, thir. I thould be back thortly.

As Igor leaves, Liam gets back to the plans.
rampant

08-13-06, 08:22 PM		Satnak - *****hit*****hit*****hit*****hit*****hit *****hit!!!

Serene - I take it the situation has finally sunk in now that the series of shocks has slowed.

Satnak - Yes :raincloud

Serene - What exactly is going on?

Satnak - The legacy clans sometimes use arranged marriages as a method of alliance. Until recently it never came into inter clan conflict because it was also a tradition amongst the wealthy class of Half-elves that the clans drew the majority of their mates from. When the people began turning on us and the clans started inter-breeding it became more prevalent to slow down the effects of a shrinking gene-pool. Since My betrothed, The little slime ball Dekon, and his clan bit the dirt, normally I would be released from the arrangement. However the Lord Sirinon, Leader of the clans, Has decided to call the right of subsumation. In other words since the Tourn clan have died out and their riven now serves him, all their remaining contracts, possesions and responsibilities fall to his clan. Normally its a bad move, but the Tourn were wealthy and free of debts or obligations, aside from an alliance with the Borisheel, given my reputation it may just be possible that thats the real reason they're coming. IF it had been the Tourn I could simply challenge Dekon to a duel to the death and kill or force him to renounce the claim, The Sirinon are forbidden to engage in duels to the death. Mostly, because the riven offer such a massive advantage, but its become independent of that now.

Serene - Certainly they can't force you to bear children?

Satnak - With Five Riven? they might be able to. ITs unlikely though, that they would stoop to that. The problem is that they will assume that I'm just being stubborn, and will go through with the whole thing and then We will both be stuck until Either me or Tormos looses it and Kills the other in their sleep. Also since we are in a same gender relationship either you have to give back the sword and sever your ties to me, or you come with us as a ...a concubine. :( Under our laws I can oppose this legally, but if that doesn't work, I go down fighting Riven or no.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-13-06, 11:53 PM		OOC: SilvercatMoonpaw, since you haven't played Final Fantasy VI ( :weep: ), just keep in mind that my Terra is based (albeit very loosely) off that one.

IC:

Terra: This is most certainly unnerving. It's like looking in a mirror...

Terra: I know. I've only met one of my alternates, and she was a b*tch.

OOKaizer: Actually...

Terra: I don't think I like that tone...

OOKaizer: Well...I patterned you after her...so, technically...

Terra: I'm her alternate?

Lisa: Freaky...

Terra: Meh. It's not so bad.

Terra: Indeed. Though I am a bit envious.

Terra: Why?

Terra: You can still use magic. This world no longer has it.

Lisa: That's rough.

Several children come running up to them.

Boy 1: Mamma, are you gonna play with us soon?

Terra: In a moment, dear. We have guests.

Girl 1: Wow, cool! You look just like mamma!

Terra: *anime sweatdrop* :D :blush: Eh heh...

Boy 2: You're pretty...

Lisa: :) Why, thank you.

Girl 2: Who's this guy?

OOKaizer: Me? A friend of theirs.

Girl 2: You look like a nerd.

OOKaizer: :raincloud

Terra: *puts her hands on her hips* Now, now. Don't be rude.

Girl 2: What? He does...

OOKaizer: :raincloud

Terra (this world's, not mine) gives her the dreaded Look.

Girl 2: :mymy: :( Ok, ok. I'm sorry.

Terra: We'll be having lunch soon. Would you like to join us?

OOKaizer: :D :dancin:

Lisa: :ahem: I guess that's a yes.

Terra: Honestly. Tact. Look it up.
rampant

08-14-06, 01:53 AM		Serene - Then its simple.

Satnak - What?!

Serene - Ignore it.

Satnak - WHAT!?

Serene - Silly girl, you've never let law or property damge get in the way as long as anyone on board has known you. Why start now?

Satnak - Because these are my laws, traditions and customs my ancestors have fought and died to protect. Make no mistake if I have to throw it away to live free with you, I will, but I have to at least try to make them see reason first. Regicide is harder than deicide.
urial angel of death

08-14-06, 07:41 AM		OOC: I have something about FF6 that I'm not sure that I should post. Kaizer will you be using any other character from FF6? If so what ones so that I can alter my post occordingly.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-14-06, 09:56 AM		OOC: I have something about FF6 that I'm not sure that I should post. Kaizer will you be using any other character from FF6? If so what ones so that I can alter my post occordingly.
OOC: Meh. I don't have anything set in stone. I was planning on continuing for a little bit, but nothing definitive. Just remember, no magic. This is after the end of the game. Aside from that, go nuts.




...I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?
urial angel of death

08-14-06, 12:47 PM		OOC: yes you will.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-14-06, 12:51 PM		(Ok, these are the people I can think of taht arent engaged in any plot lines curently, or who can be used if its not majour. If I miss any one or I misteakenly list as unclamed any one whose biusy sing out as im asembling my cast for the raid.)
Devon
Andrea
Jarlot
Danyes and Jack
Muradin
Chalky
Chanse
The Squirels
Pholi (sp?)
the first mate, whose name Ive forgotten.
turalisj

08-14-06, 01:26 PM		The trio of mindbolds (see about 50pages back) walks up to Tifa.

Mindbold1: Ssso, you wantss the capt'n?
Tifa: Who are you?
Mindbold2: We can helps you gets the captain.
Mindbold3: But you must do something for us.
Tifa: Anything!
Gladius_Lucix

08-14-06, 06:23 PM		Liam is preparing his lab for the materials that he asked Igor for. Igor walks up behind him and sets a [i]bag of holding[/b] down on the table.

Igor: Here your are, thir.

Liam: Gah! You surprised me. I didn't expect you to get everthing that quickly.

Igor: But I didn't, thir. There were thome thingth even I couldn't find.

Liam: So, what do I still need?

Igor: Well, your are the only thourthe for your power converterth, and I couldn't acquire the Quilkern Tranthpathitor and the Gallimarki Reality Puncturer, but I did figure out a way to replathe them without too much loth of effithienthy. The Daanvi touchthtone wath altho a bit difficult, but I managed. Ith that everthing you need?

Liam: Yes, thank you, Igor. If I need anything else, I'll just ask.

Igor: You're welcome, thir. Goodbye.

Liam starts rooting through the bag, inspecting the materials Igor retreived for him.

Liam: Yes, this should do nicely.
rampant

08-14-06, 06:53 PM		Kithle - So one more time through.

Roosevelt - I've laid down a tacerie of splinters through the marked hallways and had them cordoned off. In addition I've treated the wood agaist fire and acid.

Norbaz - I've been unleashing the left over chilis in there all day.

Kanatash - The xoriat manifest zone is spreading through the corridors a little behind schedule, but it should be finished in the next day or two.

Feal'thas - the air has been laced with noxious toxins.

Chalky - the explosives are set and ready

Wescal - I've been up all night reading through these. It'll be close, but I think we can beat them.

Terrek - IF not?

Kithle - well then... we get mean :evillaugh
rampant

08-15-06, 12:56 AM		OOC : You guys do realize of course I want you to mess with this, if I wanted to have complete control I'd write a book. (just don't kill anyone important until i say you can)
------------------------------------------

Satnak - Serene, this could get dangerous. The Sirinon have a history of being harsh with those that defy them. I want you to be careful, if things get too hairy get out and away.

Serene - Silly girl, I will stand by you through anything.

Satnak - Hearing that from you makes me so happy, yet so scared. At least promise to be careful.

Serene - I promise.
Crystalforged

08-15-06, 01:25 AM		In the camper's huts (they may have been forgotten but as far I know they haven't left yet). Nemesis is sitting in her bunk flipping through a photo album while a number of other campers, including a disheveled Piffany, sit nearby, gossiping. A Nemesis flips to the next page of the album she begins laughing softly, this gets the other campers attention immediately as this is something that normally only occures when she is about to do something particularly terrible.

Piffiany: (nervous) Um, what are you looking at Nemesis?

Nemesis: (looking up) Oh, its just this photo album that Counselor Kanatash let me borrow. It has pictures of some of his experiments and their results. He said it might "give me ideas."

Piffany: And that's funny?

Nemesis: No, no. You see he seems to have accidentally left some other pictures in here of himself and his fiancee.

Piffany: Oooh, this sounds juicy, can I have a look?

Nemesis: :smirk: As you wish... (turns the album to face Piffany)

Piffany: :ghosted:

Nemesis: (looking at the other campers) :devil: Does anyone else want to see?

The other campers, wide eyed, all shake thier heads and hastily sidle out of the hut.

Nemesis: :evillaugh

---

Kanatash: :dancin: Ooooh, I can't wait. I hope these Sirion people show up soon.

OOCrystalforged: Ugh, why?

Kanatash: First, if precedent is any example around here, this is undoubtable going to come to blows and when a conflict comes to that point I get open season on the poor bastards. It sounds like these people are the real stick where the sun don't shine types too, and I always get a warm fuzzy feelling when I break them.

OOCrystalforged: I think you're seriously underestimating these people...

Kanatash: (unphazed) Oh, and I can't wait to have a crack at those riven things too...

OOCrystalforged: Um, not to burst your bubble here but... I know Satnak hasn't explained those things very well but when she did talk about them she used adjatives such as "unstoppable" and mentioned something about them being able alter reality on a whim.

Kanatash: So you're just saying I'll have to put some effort into it then?

OOCrystalforged: :rolleyes:
DavidB

08-15-06, 01:25 AM		How do you delete posts?
LugWrench

08-15-06, 03:06 AM		Name: Skippy
Race: Illithid
Class and levels: Everyone is too spooked to ask.

Skippy only recently joined the crew, seeing it as the best way to rebel against his parents. Despite the fact that everyone knows illithids dont have parents. Still, its his story and he sticks with it. Strangely enough, Skippy appears to be a vegitarian. His quarters are usually littered with empty heads of lettuce and other fruits and veggies sucked completely dry. Skippy attributes this to being brain-tose intollerant. Still, from time to time, he takes his meds and partakes.
While illithids are known for their psionic powers, Skippy typically only uses his for one thing. Cheating at cards. After winning the Kyber Texas Hold 'Em tourney eight years running, Skippy was nicely asked not to come back. Skippy graciously aquessed after slaying half the pursuing posse. Skippy has lived off of his considerable winnings since.


Jarlot: So why do we need another mind flayer here?
Marish: Its the safest place. Hes a vegitarian, and if he does indulge, half the crew doesnt even count as having brains.
Terra: And the other half doesnt even rate being called 'vegtables'.
Jarlot: Sounds like a 50 - 50 chance that hes gonna eat someone.
Terra; With luck, he would start with Michael.
Devon: I wouldnt count on that, theyre in the mess hall, tossing back some brews.
Jarlot: Actually, I think he could do alright. And seeing as how hes got money, I dont have to pay him.
Devon: Drinks on you, then?
Jarlot: Screw that! Everyone buys their own.
rampant

08-15-06, 09:44 AM		Chalky - Whoa new guys not there. See that section is cordoned off by oreder of Kithle.

Chanse - is te captain not in charge of the vessel?

Skippy - and since when do pirates care about rules?

Chalky - haha, haha, heeeeeeeeeeee... No seriously I assume you both enjoy having skin

Skippy - generaly

Chanse - its most useful

Chalky - then don't go in there.
Crystalforged

08-15-06, 12:11 PM		How do you delete posts?
Quite simply, you can't. The only way it could happen would be to contact a WizO and get them to do it. However I just wouldn't worry about it if I was you.
turalisj

08-15-06, 12:22 PM		The three mindbolds look over thier work with glee. Before them stands three Tifa clones. One appears to have been combined with a kobold, another with a mindflayer, and yet another with a werewolf.

Mindbold1: My brothers, I believe we have done it!
Mindbold2: Yes brothers, we finaly have a way to take over the ship....
Mindbold3: Actualy, I'm a female.
Flayer-Tifa: Yay!!!! Now Jarlot will love us!
Kobold-Tifa: Tifa tifa ti!
Mondbold1: Ok, so maybe Kobold-Tifa has some flaws....

Meanwhile, were-Tifa found Jarlot sitting in the bar drinking again.

Jarlot: Oh gods, I've got to stop drinking that spiked ale.
rampant

08-15-06, 08:51 PM		Lord Sirinon (no he doesn't have a fiest name) - Be warned my, the info i have gathered indicates that Satnak may no longer be the sweet girl who saved you from that escaped zoo behir.

Tormos - :twitch: are you senile? Satnak :twitch: Sweet? she was the one who let it loose,... she was trying to get Dekon eaten, if her history is any indication she's going to kill me. :rant:

Lord Sirinon - Oh nonsense what about the time she saved you from your older cousin's assasination plot?

Tormos - She broke his arm trying to kill Dekon again. I'm telling you this is suicide. :banghead:

Lord Sirinon - Oh shut up and be a man.

Tormos - (i.h.h. will he say that when she castrates me?) :ghosted:

Lord Sirinon - We're here.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-15-06, 08:51 PM		OOC: Due to extenuating circumstances, I probably won't be able to post as often as I'd like for a while. Not sure how long it'll last, or how much effect it'll really have, but...meh.

BTW, LugWrench...TERRA IS NOT ABOARD RIGHT NOW.

IC:

Gau: Awoooooo!!!!

Sabin: Get back here with my Powerbar!

Cyan: Sir Gau, please return my sword!

Terra: I think I've seen this before...

Lisa: Though Chalky would probably have taken a finger or something.

Edgar: Hey, ladies.

Terra: :rolleyes: You never give up, do you?

Setzer: Gambling's only fun when you have a chance of winning.

Edgar: It's a habit. I can't help it... :allalone:

Locke: You're hopeless...

Edgar: :mad: Shut up, Mr. I Got the Girl.

Celes: At least he understands that shameless flirting isn't the way to a woman's heart.

Gau: Awooooo!!!!

Sabin: Dammit, Gau! I need that to exercise! I can feel my muscles atrophying as we speak!
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-15-06, 09:42 PM		OOcat: I have to say, OOKaizer, you're ruining this honeymoon fast. I'm not even sure that my secret could do that bad a job.

13: Can you even be here? :confused: You have no idea what game this is from.

OOcat: I'm a trickster. Once you open the door, I'm in. (looks at watch) Gah. Got to get back, the riven are coming aboard.
*cool zippy pan scene change*
13: Did we get back in time?

Bunny: Yup.

Silver: Actually seems that Tormos guy isn't all that keen on Satnak.

OOcat: No doubt this is going to be a major plot point……or we'll just milk it for jokes.……………Something's bugging me.

13: The fact that as this is the Forgotten Freedom, the #1 source for disturbances in the fabric of all reality, and so the reality-warping powers of the riven might not be all that impressive compared to what goes on here on a minutial basis?

OOcat: No…whether anyone will understand the word "minutial".
Kaizer_Ryu

08-15-06, 09:55 PM		OOKaizer: I'm still waiting for "he who refuses to be named" to finish with his bit. I can't do much more than fanboy stuff till then.

OOcat: You mean OOCy-

OOKaizer: He said not to drag him into this.

OOcat: Meh. That's no fun.

OOKaizer: Anyway, you've never played FFVI, so you're not allowed to comment.

OOcat: Still, it's getting boring. Do you have more interesting things in mind?

OOKaizer: :plotting: :schemes:
urial angel of death

08-15-06, 10:18 PM		OOUrial sits at a table in an inn somewhere in FF6. Also seated at the table are Shadow, Mog, Setzer, Celes, Locke, Relm, and Gau. Edgar is sitting at a table which is a court ordered 200 feet away from Relm.

Setzer: So you have complete control and knowledge of the events dealing with the rise and fall of Kefka.

OOUrial: Yep if you what me to get out the controller again to prove it...

Locke: Na you can only watch Edgar fling himself in the mud some many times before it gets boring.

Setzer: We were just wondering if you could help settle a few bets.

OOUrial: Okay shoot.

Setzer: First off is Terra a lesbian?

OOUrial: Yes.

*sound of money changing hands.*

Setzer: Then those sounds from the girl's room at the inn were...

OOUrial: Yes

*sound of money changing hands.*

Setzer: Who was the sceamer?

OOUrial: Relm.

*sound of money changing hands, this time all going to Mog*

Shadow glares at Relm.

Relm: Sorry daddy. *looks innocent*

Setzer: What shape is the world?

OOUrial: Donut.

Setzer: Really?

OOUrial: Yeah the north and south connect, and east and west connect. Try doing that to a paper map you get a donut.

*no money changes hands*

--------
meanwhile Celes and Locke are having a side conversation.

Locke: So you were like with a girl? :D

Celes: Yeah I was just experimenting. It ment nothing. I'm really so-

Locke: :cloud9:

*slap*

Celes: Stop picturing it! :mad:
Uratoh

08-15-06, 10:20 PM		Gotta add another to the list.

#???: I don't care that it won't hurt her. you will NOT use Stone Shape on the petrified body of Jaela to age her several years. It doesn't work that way.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-15-06, 10:26 PM		OOC: LOL, urial. Disturbing, yes, but still funny.

IC:

Jaela: You know, I'm 18...

Jarlot is busy scribbling in more bans on magical augmentation of his daughter.

Jarlot: I don't care. They're still not allowed to touch you.
turalisj

08-15-06, 11:05 PM		Were-Tifa is chasing a bunch of redcoats down the halls of the FF.
Were-Tifa: WHY WONT YOU LOVE ME!?!?!?!?!
rampant

08-16-06, 12:39 AM		Lord Sirinon - Hmmmmmm

Tormos - ANYONE IN THIS COMPOST HEAP OF A SHIP!?

Lord Sirinon - Now now son have some dignity.

Tormos - I just want to survive.

Five grey pillars of energy about 7 ft tall manifest with a slight tension in the air. Each has an indistinct yet jagged humanoid torso, arms and head. Each face is is marked with a different rune, the marks seem broken and cumbled.

One passes into the wall and an archway appears. The Sirinon enter, once inside the riven pulls itself from the wall and the gate dissapears.

Kanatash - Interesting, this way please we were expecting you. This corridor here if you please.

Lord Sirinon Half-elf Duskblade 25/ Legacy champion 10 (riven)

Tormos Half-elf Monk 15/Seer 15/ Legacy Champion 5 (riven)

-------------------
OOC: Have fun, but they can't meet Serene, or Satnak yet, and no killing or outright attacks that don't offer deniability.
luna18moon

08-16-06, 01:01 AM		Slaypaw: Hmm. Reality-twisting? Unstoppable? Actually, it sounds a bit like the chili... Fluffy, we may have to put off Operation C.A.T..
Fluffy: **** right we will. Noone hurts my mommy! :mad:
Slaypaw: (hurridley) Don't worry, we'll do our best to help her. Hey...
Fluffy: What?
Slaypaw: Can the Riven make catnip?
Fluffy: *UBERGLARE*
Slaypaw: :eek: Just wondering! *whimper* Don't kill me.
Gladius_Lucix

08-16-06, 02:27 AM		Liam is almost done with the new device, when something starts beeping.

Liam: The Weir/Insan map? What's going on?

Liam rushes over, and sees seven new signatures on the map, two at slightly above scum size, and five at far past what Pun-Pun read.

Liam: Well. That must be the Riven. Now, to figure out a way to test this. Any overtly offensive actions will probably get me turned into a splatter, if that much is even left. What to do, what to do...

Liam mulls it over as he puts the last few components into the device.

Liam: Maybe just follow behind them and try keeping their powers nullified. I just hope they don't overload the system.

13: Mail call!

Liam: Bwah! Sheesh! Thanks, 13.

13: You're welcome.

Liam unfolds the letter and reads it.


Liam:
I got your message, and I didn't think there was anything that I could do. Luckily, a sudden storm blew up, and we've been blown off course (wink wink). Don't know if this will reach you before we do, but it'll be a few weeks until we can reach you, probably.
See you eventually,
Warren.


Liam: Well, that's good. One crisis at a time is enough for me. Now, to test this thing.

Liam straps on the device,turns it on, and heads out to study the Riven.
urial angel of death

08-16-06, 07:42 AM		Volrath walks up onto the deck and sees the riven. He then turns around, running and screaming, back to the lowwer decks.

Volrath: Nalfien, its happened! Someone made a archon with a high and dark templar fusion!
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-16-06, 09:29 AM		Upon the Hull a glowing pentagram formed, wreathed in black flames with a symbol in the centre. three black moons above a black pyramid. Bolts of black flame sprung up from each of the pentagrams points twisting a turning in the air before they joined. a black rent in the fabric of the world formed in the centre of the circle. a Ghostly form began to become clearer and clearer, It was Naz'roth. dressed in full battle gear with his staff clutched in his left hand. his very form was wreathed in black flames and his eyes burned with an emerald light.

the rent closed as he came through, and the flames on the pentagram died down. leaving scorch marks on the deck. He turned his dread gaze upon Lord Sirinon and his acomplises. his mouth twisted in a evil smile, showing his vampiric fangs.

Naz'roth: Ah, Lord Sirinon. Welcome to the forgotten freedom. *inclines his head* I am Naz'roth of legion, Daemon Lord and Ex-ruler of Korvoire.

Tara fades into existance frowining at the scorch marks left by Naz'roths entrance.

Naz'roth: And this *gestures to Tara* is my love, Tara D'vol, We hope you find your stay on this ship.. *slight evil smirk* Pleasnt.

Tara grabs his arm and leads him away to an area where they cant here them.
Tara: What have you been told about those kind of entrances?

Naz'roth: Dont. I know, but if anyone was going to make an impression on them it would be me.

Tara: *faint smile* well, we should go and speak to them until we get the signal from the others.

Naz'roth nods, and they go arm in arm towards Lord Sirinon and his companions.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-16-06, 09:47 AM		13: An archway?! THAT'S THEIR BIG REALITY-WARPING POWER IN ACTION??!!

Bunny: I give the riven a 4 for Style, 1 for substance.

Silver: Maybe they'll get better?

Bunny: I seriously hope so. There's hasn't been any real excitement around here since…………what came first, Pun-Pun or Ariajni?

13: Ariajni.

Silver: This would be a perfect time to bring back Aerith. Just imagine her being all gushy over those guys.

Bunny: Maybe we should have some fun with them.

Silver: Can't think of anything good.

13: We could challenge the riven to a friendly realtiy-breaking contest.

Silver and Bunny: :mymy:…:thinks:…:shifty: …:evillaugh:
Jürgen Hubert

08-16-06, 11:07 AM		The list is great!

I've started to compile it on the RPGNet Wiki here (http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/captainjarlot/all.html) (what's online so far was shamelessly swiped from this site (http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/captainjarlot/all.html) since at least the first 2600 entries or so were neatly compiled into one place), but there's still lots of stuff missing and lots of formatting bugs.

I'll try to put it into a better format and add the rest of the list over the course of the weekend. Unless, of course, someone else here wants to tackle this... ;)
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-16-06, 03:30 PM		It's already been done: Forgotten Freedom Wiki (http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Main_Page).
LugWrench

08-16-06, 06:49 PM		Hmmm.... Being mentioned in a wiki. Im not sure if this is a blessing or a curse. For some reason, the wiki doesnt seem to be cross-refferenced with the words 'rag-tag bunch of hopeless geeks'. :P They probably just forgot to post that link..... :D
turalisj

08-16-06, 07:46 PM		Hm... Niether my mindbolds nor me are mentioned....


Mindbold1: do you hear that? We ain't important!
Mindbold2: Maybe we should blow something up.
Mindbold3: didn't you read the wiki link? That would be like the king of Breland killing of a couple dozen rare animals. Or the Silver Flame starting a crusade against humans for being too normal.
rampant

08-16-06, 08:34 PM		Lord Sirinon - Naz'roth...hmmmm the legendary magesmith Naz'roth! I would be honored if you would consider forging a bit of armor for me, I've got the specs right here.

One of the riven extends its hand and a bundle of scrolls are conjured into existance while passing seagulls disintigrate.

Lord Sirinon - Never liked those birds. Anyway would you consider taking this commision Ever since Forbes first brought back those daggers the whole of our world has been searching for more of your artifacts.

Tormos - BLOODY 13TH MOON! :doh: He's gonna be like for at least an hour. No offense why do you chose now to show up. He's had that blueprint ready since we found out Satnak was alive and he got this fool idea. Now that he's found one of his top three forge masters to craft the thing,... I need to sit down.

Another Riven pulls up a chair while a bit of the spare lumber stores evaporate.

Tara - (i.h.h. the kid seems to be on our side, maybe...) Why would your father need anyone to craft anything wi-

Tormos - The Riven can only contruct something you have the knowledge to make your self. Fathe could create fine blades, but they would still be nothing unto the works of a true craftsman like Naz'roth. I had to study carpentry to learn to actually make a chair before I could do even this simple trick.

Naz'roth and Lord Sirinon Have been pouring over the prints.

Naz'roth - interesting so by reshaping the paldroon we can increase the range of motion, but what about the... oh this is ingenious.

Lord Sirinon - Thank you I'm an ametuer myself but I thought that design might be pretty clever.

Naz'roth - Indeed I ... (looks at Tara) gulp... Igottagolookatthetime. *teleport*

Tara - :rolleyes: *teleport*

Kanatash - As I was Saying this corridor here please.

Lord Sirinon - Right lets get going. (i.h.h. I hope he can get back to me soon, he took the scrolls thats a good sign)

Tormos - (i.h.h. should i make a big deal about the traps in there? naaaah more fun to wow 'em)

Kanatash - (i.h.h. the old man is senile, thats the only explaination, the kid is hard to read, :weep: I wish I could get in their heads, but noooooo they're warded)

-------------------
Tara - I can't believe you... your still pouring over the damned prints :mad:

Naz'roth - He's an ametuer all right but a clever one, these are good.
--------------------

OOC: Sorry if its a bit out of character for Naz'roth, but diplomacy is one of Lord Sirinon's best skills.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-16-06, 09:58 PM		The sun sets over the ocean, the sky turning a deep orange as Lisa and Terra sip at their drinks.

Lisa: Where'd OOKaizer get off to?

Terra: He got dissed by a fellow Entity.

Lisa: So he's pouting?

Terra: More or less.

Lisa: Oh, well. At least he won't mess with us for a little while. More importantly, how are you holding up?

Terra: I'm all right. I still have a few weeks to go.

Lisa: I wonder what's going to happen when the time comes?

Terra: *smiles* We'll find out. I'm all excited.
rampant

08-16-06, 10:28 PM		OORampant - Cypher post before I pull out the mewtwo costume, just let us know your still alive or something. This is ridiculous even for you.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-16-06, 10:32 PM		OOC: *sighs in relief* Oh, good. I feel better now that I know someone else feels the same way. I want to be able to return them when the opportunity presents itself.
urial angel of death

08-16-06, 10:36 PM		OOC: Kaizer everyone feels the way you do.
LugWrench

08-16-06, 10:48 PM		Thanks for the note, Kaizer. Ive been a bit out of touch, recently.
Hmm..... Lisa and Terra....... Man, Devon is gonna be crushed. Michael would probably want to watch, if not charge the rest of the crew to watch. Profiteering bastard........
I wonder what the kids will be like? :P
Kaizer_Ryu

08-16-06, 10:59 PM		OOC: Out of touch is an understatement. Their wedding was, according to Charles Phipps, the best post on the thread (yay me!). They've been gone for about 20-25 pages now. They've been married for something like 40 pages.

Devon hasn't even been considered since Terra expressed an interest in Lisa.

Michael was outmaneuvered something like 50-60 pages ago. Turns out he was attracted to Lisa because she reminded him of Aerith (his mom...ew).

Their relationship is one of the more popular events for the crew to spy on. Though as of right now, they are protected from any such attempts.

The kids? No, no, no. No sneak peaks. You have to wait and see just like everyone else. :devil:
cypher_zero

08-17-06, 12:07 AM		OOC: Grrr... New job suckage... 6 days a week, 50 hrs... lovin the dough but I've got almost no time for anything. Tomorrow is my first day off in over a week, I will be posting the conclusion then. I just have to write it. Also, I've been spending almost all available time with my chaos army, trying to get it ready for a tourny next week. Like I said, not much time for anything, so I've been forced to choose priorities. The 40k got priority cause it was a pain to get that saturday off and I haven't even been able to play my new army yet. Anyways, conclusion tomorrow; hope the explanation helped.
Orange text of DOOM!
urial angel of death

08-17-06, 08:01 AM		OOC:The kids? No, no, no. No sneak peaks. You have to wait and see just like everyone else. :devil:

I'm special though :D

I know that they will be little gremlins that are in fact the bastard children of Doog's amazingly attractive half brother, and Chalky. As for how they got inside Terra and Lisa it will forever remain a mystery.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-17-06, 08:03 AM		LAnother Riven pulls up a chair while a bit of the spare lumber stores evaporate.…
Tormos - The Riven can only contruct something you have the knowledge to make your self. Fathe could create fine blades, but they would still be nothing unto the works of a true craftsman like Naz'roth. I had to study carpentry to learn to actually make a chair before I could do even this simple trick.
Silver: :pbbbtt: Anyone can do that. The body of your average female creature does that without any concious thought.

Bunny: Truely. And like Word Being says, the more power you have the less you really know what you're doing.

13: I'm confused as to why Satnak is afraid of these people. Pun-Pun had more power than these guys. Heck, Roosevelt could take these guys in a fair competition.

Bunny: Maybe they're smarter than they look? I mean, we see so many übers around here who just throw power at each other that maybe we're dismissing someone with an actual crafty mind?

Silver: I'm not dismissing anything. I'm just saying I thought they'd be more impressive.…………Maybe we could get Tormos to fall for someone else on the ship?

Bunny: That would be doing something useful for Satank.

13: Against the rules.

Silver: I meant just for fun.

13: Maybe he'll fall for Serene and we'll have a great battle for her affection?

Silver: That……is deviously twisted. But Terrek would fume at us.

Bunny: It's too bad no one on this ship is secretly in love with Satnak such that they'd do something crazy just to prevent her from being unhappy in a marriage with Tormos.

Silver: I thought I was the one who's supposed to think like that?

Bunny: We bleed into each other.

Silver: And who even in the insanity of this ship would be in love with Satnak? Serene not withstanding.
cypher_zero

08-17-06, 08:15 AM		OOC: Wait. Does Serene being in love with Satnak make her insane? 'Cause, I was thinkin that both Terrek and Serene were holding onto more of their sanity than most of the rest of the ship; mostly because they spend so much time off it.
.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-17-06, 08:25 AM		OOC: Wait. Does Serene being in love with Satnak make her insane? 'Cause, I was thinkin that both Terrek and Serene were holding onto more of their sanity than most of the rest of the ship; mostly because they spend so much time off it.
OOC: Don't take it as an insult. I just generally think everyone is insane. It's preferable to sanity. Read the FF thread. Then think about how thinks would be if more of the crew were sane. Insanity is a lot more fun and requires fewer rules.
rampant

08-17-06, 09:48 AM		Insanity is a lot more fun and requires fewer rules.

Given how many rules there are for nutters, I'm gonna say thats a good thing. :D

I'm not done making people miserable yet. :P
-----------------------------

Ketty - Is she dead? *prodswith stick*

Serene - No, *sigh* just drunk trying to not to think about things for a while, I don't think it worked. :(

Satnak - .........(drool on the foor)
Crystalforged

08-17-06, 01:02 PM		Kanatash: :bored: Is that it? I have to say that so far I am supremely unimpressed with these Riven of yours.

Tormos: Are you serious? The Riven have the ability to shape reality to our will!

Kanatash: ...Which is nothing new to me. I mean seriously, not only do they require you to know what you're doing they had to use actual lumber to make that chair? I mean please, they should at the very least be able to conjure objects from thin air or transmute the base materials from something else if they HAVE to craft it from something.

Tormos: And I suppose you're an expert on reshaping reality.

Kanatash: I am the resident expert, yes. You know perhaps a demostration is in order. (snaps his fingers)

Suddenly a pair of redshirts run out of a nearby door, apparently fleeing the man-eating waffle iron that is hot on their tail.

Tormos: :uh-huh: Ok, thats different.

Kanatash: Actually THAT (gesturing towards the redshirts) is completely normal around here. (stares at fingers and snaps them a few more times) THIS however is not.

Tormos: :confused:

Kanatash: (crosses his arms) You bastard.

Tormos: :rant: Now just wait one moment! You cannot adress me is such a way! I am-

Kanatash: (cutting him off) I wasn't talking to YOU, I was reffering to him.

He points behind him to where OOCrystalforged has just materialized.

Tormos: (exasperated) And just who in the name of the Soverigns green earth are you?

OOCrystalforged: Little old me? I'm just one of the random entities from beyond non-existance.

Kanatash: Alright now, what's with this. (snaps his fingers a few times)

OOCrystalforged: :bored: I can't be loaning out my entity powers to you all the time, if you really want them use your own.

Kanatash: Fine, I will.

Kanatash vanishes only to reappear moments later next to OOCrystalforged, now wearing a T-shirt and jeans.

OOKanatash: Happy now? (turning back to a very lost Tormos) Now as I was saying. (snaps his fingers)

A massive syberies dragonshard (in the shape of a ducky) suddenly plummets from sky (which has turned neon green), to crash into Sharn, destroying it (again). The resuting mushroom cloud streaches high into the air until a (hand-shaped) cloud reaches out and plucks it. The cloud then proceeds to slice it up and add it to the (pepperoni) pizza it has been constructing before lowering the pizza into a (dormant) volcano to bake.

Tormos: :blink: ...

OOKanatash: :ayyyy!:

OOCrystalforged: :whatsthis Showoff.

Lord Sirinon: (examining a nearby wall) Hm, intersting. Is this real wood panneling or is it fake?

Everyone turns to stare at Lord Sirinon blankly.

OOKanatash: ...You know I think you should be introduced to the captain's father. The two of you ought to get on famously.
Lord Kale Fangblade

08-17-06, 01:13 PM		OOC: Dont worry rampant ( if Naz'roth was a bit out of character). he was trapped for a Very long time and then spent quite a while in Sa'vors head. its not often he gets to hear praise for the things he makes and he rarely gets asked to create items for people.

IC: Sa'vor Sat in the centre of the Penticle, energy sparking from him. the penticle glowed with crimson light. Sa'vors very form crackled with the power build up, He finished the chant. there was no way of turning back, even stepping out of the penticle would cause him and everyone who bore a cyst to die. it was time for the final ingrediant.

The original ritual required the creator to make blood sacrifices, this ritual would require the Creator to sacrifice somthing. Sa'vor chose his living side since he would survive the loss of his living half. Sa'vor raised an obsidian dagger, a ruby glamed in the daggers hilt and the crimson light higlighted the deadly edge. Sa'vor drove it into his chest, and instantly began to feel his life ebb away, Pain lanced through his and all the Cyst bearers very form. like a thousand white hot knives. Sa'vor collapsed within the central circle, the darkness was closing in on him... before him was a puddle of his own blood.
Sa'vor smirked. at least he wouldnt die permenently.

Sa'vor awoke hours later (about the same time as Lord Sirinon arrives). He felt a slight burning sensation on his face. He smirked slightly. looks like Chalky had been at his work. Pain still burned within him, but every second it faded away. Sa'vor sent his mind within himself, the Cysts where all there, in each a small shard of his soul was stored.

Sa'vor: (i.h.h) Time for the second part of my plan.

Sa'vor reached within the cysts, using the call of his own mother cysts. he dragged them within its form. and felt the shards of his soul joining where they had been last. It would take several hours for the Cysts to be fully absorbed, Sa'vor oponed his eyes. Everything was the same, exept that no longer did the spark of life reside within him. his connection with Mabar had strengthened somewhat, but he had gained no power.

Sa'vor: Intresting

He attempted to rise. Pain shot through him, overloading his nerves. his form shook and he stopped moving. Defintly too soon to rise. Sa'vor one more concentrated on his body and mind, gathering information from the damaged sectors and beggining the healing process. The ritual had drained a lot out of him, The creation rituals had been one at a time so they had not had a large toll on him, but his was all at once. he was severly drained, most of his magical power was gone... all expept some eldritch power. that was already begging to reform.

He began to heal and regrow lost portions of himself, It would take at least another hour before he could walk. and an hour besides that before he could fight with any efficency. for all purposes at the moment he was helpless... he felt a spark of eldritch power crackle across his face. repairing Scar tissue from his younger days. Sa'vor smiled... perhaps not completly helpless.
LugWrench

08-17-06, 01:24 PM		40 pages? Damn....
See, kiddies. Take some advice from yer Uncle Lugwrench. Dont get married. When you get divorced, it distracts you and you lose the plotline. These are righteous words I speak. :D
Crystalforged

08-17-06, 01:56 PM		OOCrystalforged: Well then, I'm gonna get out of here. I've things to do, places to see, sanity damage to inflict. Before I go I have a little warning for you two about the crew. One, if you DON'T bother or annoy the crew in any way, they're going to make your life a living hell. Two, if you DO tick them off they're going to make you wish you were never born. Three, if you get real uppity with them they'll see to it that your are never born. Take these words to heart, they will save you much grief. (vanishes)

OOKanatash: And now I'm going to erase all memory of that warning from your minds.

Tormos: Why?

OOKanatash: Because I'm a psychotic bastard and if you don't **** off the crew then I won't be allowed to REALLY mess with you.
rampant

08-17-06, 04:58 PM		Tormos - imressive, but the pizza sucked :yuck:

Kanatash - Wha :uh-huh:

Tormos - (holding a giant slab of the Pizza and making a face) lets see.

One of the Riven steps forward and begins re-making the pizza as a chicken fried steak.

Tormos - I can transmute, its just I didn't feel the need seeing as you had a lumber stock pile and we had run out of seagulls.

Kanatash - Whats that itchy feeling :OMG! MY ARM YOU BASTARD!!

Tormos - It was delicious. :D Now about that little corridor trap.

Another riven melts into the door of the corridor and gets to work.

Tormos - Splinter traps? creative, is that chili :twitch: , ooh a manifest zone nice. I give it 6 for deadliness, 4 for subtley, and 10 for creativity. Lets see fold space here, reverse gravity there, and done.

The trapped corridor has been transformed into a palacial hallway that somehow is open air despite being inside a ship.

Kanatash - ... I Hate you sooooo much. :mad:
Crystalforged

08-17-06, 05:14 PM		OOCrystalforged: (flashing back in) Just to inform you Tormos, you have now officially ****ed off Kanatash. Also I would just like to state that I am in no way accept any responsiblity for his actions from this point on. Thank you, pleased drive around to the next window. (vanishes)

Kanatash: Oh, yes. This is far from over and I've only just begun. Don't worry, we'll see each other again... (vanishes)
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-17-06, 06:08 PM		OOcat: Did you ever get the feeling that the E.B.N.E.s descend into one-upping a bit too often?

Bunny: You're one of them.

OOcat: I need an outside opinion.

Bunny: Mmmmmmmmm…yes.
The trapped corridor has been transformed into a palacial hallway that somehow is open air despite being inside a ship.
13: Eww, yuck, they just ruined the atmosphere.

OOcat: Should I have these guys visit Erk's Place?

Silver: Pffft, like you could do anything interesting.

OOcat: I hate the fact that I only exist to create you. :mad:
Yare

08-17-06, 06:38 PM		On what page did this evolve into a tongue-in-cheek roleplaying thread?
rampant

08-17-06, 09:19 PM		Squirrel in white coat - squeeeee-eeeak chirrup-rup-rup squeak squeaken!

Lord Sirinon - Chirrup-chir squeaken squeak

Ketler - What are they saying?

Death paper - Something about unification theory and quantum physics
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-17-06, 09:35 PM		13: Somehow, it still involves nuts.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-17-06, 10:07 PM		On what page did this evolved into a tongue-in-cheek roleplaying thread?OOC: About page 15 or so. :D

IC:

Lisa: You know, this was rather nice of him...

Terra: He's obviously planning something. He's sucking up in advance.

Lisa: Don't be so cynical. Maybe he's just as excited as us.

They sit before a large magical device. It functions much like Ketler's alternate universe portal combined with a scrying spell. Since it has become more difficult for Terra, and increasingly Lisa, to move around, OOKaizer decided not to drag them to other universes as much.

Terra: Let's see what we can find.

An image appears of a throne room in a dark and dank castle. A man in a blue tunic and leather skirt holding a whip is speaking to what appears to be a vampire.

(on screen)

Richter: Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!

Dracula?: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by humans, who wish to pay me tribute.

(off screen)

Terra: Wait...is that...?

Lisa: Allen?

(on screen)

Richter: Tribute? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!

Allen: Perhaps the...uh...same could be...said of... (looks at his script)

Director: CUT! Take five people.

Richter: Damnit! How many times? HOW MANY?!

Allen: *sigh* Doesn't this strike you as a little cheesy?

Richter: ...yeah.

Director: Quiet, both of you!

Allen: I was told I'd get to be Alucard. :(

OOC: Just so you know, I had to look this up. I'm not such a nerd that I'd know this whole thing by heart. ;)
cypher_zero

08-17-06, 10:58 PM		Terra: To be fair, we’ve only seen the inside of some of your palace. We’d hardly know how “profound” this place really was.

Terrek: Then let me show you…
Terrek: Come.

Terrek leads them out of the dining hall and down a long corridor. They come to a windswept balcony overlooking a grand city. Gilded towers that would shame Sharn (if it was still standing :P ) rise to untold heights, the ground so far below it can’t be seen. Being of all shape and size fly through the air and innumerable air-borne vehicles soar between them. Other beings walk on the sides of buildings, and some simply float from place to place. Amidst it all Terrek's palace stood above it all, dwarfing even the tallest of the towers.

For a moment the girls stand mystified by the beauty of the city taking note of the advanced technology in some places, and high magic in others. At a few spots, towers of dark crystal rise from the ground, obviously home to those gifted with psionics.

Terrek: Magnificent isn’t it?

As he speaks the young couple gaze upward. Where there would normally be sky, a massive dome rises above them. Outside it, they can see all manner of sea creatures swim about and still more towers, apparently for those of an aquatic nature.

Lisa: It’s… amazing…

Terrek: This isn’t even the capital. The palace behind you is really just a huge lab. I like it here. It’s very calm compared to the surface cities and hard to access, even for those of my realm. I spend most of my time here, that I’m not either on the ship or attending to affairs of state. Mostly I just let an elected body of twelve handle most decisions, what few need to be made, but I have full override power whenever I wish it.
I wanted you to see this, because this is what I’m about. In the city below, there is no crime, no hunger, no homeless or many of the other problems that plague most cities. Things like this are what I strive for. Every little manipulation or scheme I may be involved in has something like this that I wish for the end product. Everything is just means to an end after all. I think that you can agree that nearly any means can justify an end like this.
I am not a bad person. I have done right by these people, and they see me as a wise and just ruler. Most don’t even know of the true power I wield here. Those that fought beside me, or commonly their descendants, are my biggest supporters, because they know me. I frequent the city often, and all of the other major cities of my realm, even many of the smaller towns. I talk to the people, listen to them, let them know that I understand. I have brought them so many things, and led them for nearly five thousand years. *sigh*
It really is hard, you know? It’s hard to convey something like this, that I am in fact a good man at heart. To you all, I must seem like one of the worst of you, and I’ll be honest, I’ve done things that would make Naz’roth cringe, but it was always with this kind of perfection in mind. When the time comes, remember that; that this is my end.
Now I’m going to be completely honest with you, because I don’t expect you to repeat this last bit and because I want to provide an example. I created Serene. I put my very heart and soul into her as I did, but ultimately she was created for Satnak. I created her to love Satnak, to get Satnak to calm down a bit, to quit butting into my affairs, but also because that’s what she needed. She needed someone that would love her, could love her unconditionally, someone that would make her complete. Did you know that someone that has fought all the battles she has, been through all of it was really seeking only that one simple thing that eludes all of our grasp? Count yourselves lucky to have found each other, because so many others can’t find ones for themselves. I at least was able to do that for Satnak.
(Terrek looks away, as though to hide the emotion on his face) Now I think it’s time for you to go; I’ve held you up long enough. Just remember what I’ve told you, and that in the end, you will see that it was all worth it…

Terra and Lisa turn to look at each other as they both fade out with a soft white light. Terrek stands out on the balcony for a bit longer staring out at the sea of towers.

Terrek: (I.H.H.) Satnak… if only you knew how much alike we really are…

{Fade to black}

OOC: Well that about sums it up. I was gonna do a bit more, but God only knows how long that would have taken me to post. Hopefully this gave you a more in-depth look at Terrek and the way he works. He’s not all bad after all. I don’t think any of the characters on-board are. Well, except Kithle. He’s all bad. But he tries to be. Does that count?
.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-17-06, 11:11 PM		OOC: Ok, I have to do this. You practically walked into what I was going to say.

IC:

Lisa: Any means to that end? Not likely.

Terra: Some things, no matter the benefit, are simply not worth it.

Lisa: It was beautiful, though.

Terra: I would have been far more impressed if he wasn't already in complete control of that plane. I'd only give him credit for that if he did it while dealing with the realities of non-omnipotence.

Lisa: No crime, hunger, or homelessness. At what price? They're virtual slaves to his will.

Terra: No matter how much they like it, no matter if they chose it, a cage is still a cage. No matter the size.

Lisa: If that's his idea of utopia...I want nothing to do with it.

OOC: Yes, it's a diss. But this is how I'd react to such a thing. Peace at the end of a rifle is not peace at all. It's not an exact analogy, but you get the idea.
cypher_zero

08-17-06, 11:28 PM		OOC: Actually, I'm rather disappointed that you look at it that way. The other bit that I was going to do would have involved them walking through the city and talking to the people, learning a bit of the culture and such. Now, I may still do it at a later date. I was trying to convey that it is a ture utopia, not a rifle-barrel thing. Also I did forget to make mention that Terrek's near omnipotence came after he'd acheived the utopia and was in fact what allowed him to become such (See what happens when you rush me? I forget things :P ) Anyways, the point is, and it is possilbe that Terra and Lisa might still not have gotten it, is that Terrek isn't the Iron Fist ruler you seem to think - hence why I included the bit about the ruling body of 12 elected officials. I'd hoped this little bit would suffice, but it looks like I am going to have to do the more in-depth peice I was avoiding to get what I'm trying to across. Anywho, that's for later and will happen when it happens; probably after this little plot thing with Satnak.
.
LugWrench

08-18-06, 12:00 AM		Pholly is working away in his lab, beakers and small cauldrons boil ominously, but strangely enough there are no explosions. Needless to say, the crew is completely spooked. Devon cautiously pokes his head in the door.

Devon: hh-hey, Pholly. Whatcha up to?

Pholly: Hey, Dev. What are you doing here?

Devon: I drew the short straw.

Pholly: *confused look* What? Whats that mean?

Devon: Nevermind. Whats all this stuff?

Pholly: Well, I heard that one of the gifts the happy brides got was free baby sitting from some dumb bast...I mean...considerate crewmate. So I figured I could help out, too. Ive got some baby formula going in that pot, and some diaper rash ointment going in that one. Or is it the other way around?

Devon: Hold on, nobody had heard from them in a while. How do you know they are gonna have kids.

Pholly: Just about every couple Ive ever known has kids. Heck, if nothng else, they could always adopt.

Devon: Okay, so they adopt. What if they adopt a toddler, or someone who can tie their own shoe laces, or dont even have kids? Then this stuff is pretty useless.

Pholly: Not really. This stuff also doubles as a nice wood polish and furniture wax.

Devon: DOOD! You cant feed furniture polish to a kid!

Pholly: Well, its either this or Norbaz's twelve alarm chili. I think thats grounds for child abuse in this nation.....

Devon: Okay, you have a point.
rampant

08-18-06, 12:46 AM		Forbes - Now I know why we can't get along. :D

Terrek - I wish you wouldn't do that.

Forbes - So does Levy. :P

Terrek - Ok mr. flip, what do you think? :rolleyes:

Forbes - Its ok,... the towers are a little much. Overcompensating for something. :D

Terrek - Must you resort to that joke. :ahem:

Forbes - Get your tiny little mind out of the gutter, I was talking about the fact that your... Followers? citizens? are a bunch of molly-coddled weaklings.

Terrek - Oh and raising generation after generation of powerful, cunning, brutal, ambitious sociopaths is so much better. (enough sarcasm to take down a bull elephant)

Forbes - Any ten of mine vs. your whole plane, we stay out.

Terrek - Thats not what I meant and you know it. Get to the point serpent. :mad:

Forbes - Tell Naz'roth the daggers work fine,... oh queen's bishop takes king's knight, check and mate, thats 51 to 50. Bye *astral caravan*

--------------------------
OOC : Forbes needed a chess opponent, and Levy knows better. That and Terrek was getting a little too serious. I love to ruin moments. Oh and as for Kithle, He's a jerk who likes to mess with people.
cypher_zero

08-18-06, 01:03 AM		OOC: OK. Yep. That's it. I'm writing that other peice. You all made me do it. Specificially by implying that Terrek's citizens are weaklings. Crap. I didn't want to have to do it. But you made me.
.
rampant

08-18-06, 01:16 AM		OOC: Chill Cypher,...everyone is a weakling next to Forbes's and Levy's Students. Satnak isn't legendary for her power (well not just her power) but because of her ruthlessness and brutal cunning (when it comes to breaking things anyway, not so much for anything else).
-----------------------------

Tormos - Lets get this overwith father, I didn't schlep this disgusting thing across a multiverse to just let it keep rotting.

Lord Sirinon - But the squirrels, are about to reveal the great question.

Tormos - Who cares? we have the answer.

Lord Sirinon - Yes but 42 only tells you so much without some context.

Tormos - Listen I've had it you senile rest home reject, I wanna get this over with as fast as possible so I can get home and start regrowing the inevitable lost limbs :rant:

Lord Sirinon - Suck it up boy.

Tormos - Suck what up, I'll be lucky to walk out of this in less than 3 pieces, scratch that I'd be overjoyed to just be able to walk ou....tuh.... :drool: woah

Lord Sirinon - Boy, now you've gone and drooled all over my shoe (i.h.h. dern kid's lost it :looloo: )
cypher_zero

08-18-06, 01:24 AM		OOC: Oh... I kinda meant that last post to have a mildly humorous bent. I'm very sarcastic IRL. That's kinda what I was goin for - a half-joking kinda thing.
.
rampant

08-18-06, 01:48 AM		OOC: Emoticons help there.
--------------------------------

Disarray - Can I go Home now :surrender ?

Ketty - :noway: Get my Sister sober, and pick up some more diapers.

Tirmek - Merowaaaaaah :tantrum:
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-18-06, 09:30 AM		OOC: OK. Yep. That's it. I'm writing that other peice. You all made me do it. Specificially by implying that Terrek's citizens are weaklings. Crap. I didn't want to have to do it. But you made me.
.

(ooc: No, please dont. There is a long body of literature and philosophy that has plainly concluded over centuarys of discorse that you cannot create Utopia. Indeed that moast atempts do sucseed in only 2 things, creating slaves of the populus and breeding weakness from lack of conflict. (Aldous Huxleys Brave New World is a good example of this.) This is quite beyond the matter that asked what Utopia is you will get subtily different answers from every one you ask.
If Hundreads of years of our greatest minds have tryed this and failed, why can *Terrekman* achive this? we get it, hes a DMPC already. You pruned the levels, but not the atitude. For my money the other guys are right, hes creataed a whole plane of contented slaves mearly to feed his own ego. It actualy explains a lot about him. But thats all he COULD do. Utopia cannot be built, only aspired to.)
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-18-06, 09:34 AM		Tormos - Suck what up, I'll be lucky to walk out of this in less than 3 pieces, scratch that I'd be overjoyed to just be able to walk ou....tuh.... :drool: woah
Silver: This. Is. Going. To. Be. Fffffffffffffffun.
*******
there is no crime, no hunger, no homeless or many of the other problems that plague most cities.
13: :confused: What's the fun in that?

Bunny: Yeah, people need problems. It's just how they work.

OOC: Don't take it personally, cypher. We are just very suspicious of the workability of anything described as a "utopia". I don't even think it's possible without mind control, as there are always going to be some people who break the rules. If you said the society was "pretty good" we'd buy it, as long as you acknowledged that it requires a lot of work every day to maintain it at that level.
cypher_zero

08-18-06, 10:33 AM		OOC: Well, it seems that by trying to do it quick,I've completly botched what I was trying to do. Since I don't have the time right now to explain it, I'm just going to post it in the Wiki under "Terrek's Plane." It'll be a gradual build, but it should give you all the info you need. Normally, I wouldn't be this concerned about it, but it's crutial for later that you understand the exact nature of Terrek's plane, otherwise it'll throw my future plots for a serious loop.
.
rampant

08-18-06, 01:00 PM		OOC: Enough! Jeeze people stop picking on terrek's place, I know I started it but it was just Forbes being a pain in the neck.
-------------------------------------

Disarray - Bloody heave ho... Satnak stop stepping on me.

Serene - Just keep her up I thinks she's coming around.

Disarray - ow...Ok she did that on purpose she's sober enough to be annoying, she's sober enough you can handle her. I still need to find some diapers, out. (again with the oozing through the floor)

Serene - I keep expecting to have to clean the floor after that.

Tormos - Satnak its been years, I never expected to see you of all people in an out fit like that.

Serene - We're a little busy here right now.

Tormos - Oh sorry, but could you introduce me to your friend when she's not so out of it.

Serene - :nonono: I think your confused, I'm Serene the silly drunk here is Satnak.

Tormos - :blink: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: (i.h.h. .... i'm not gonna be walking away from this now, reset goal to being able to twitch feebly)
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-18-06, 02:52 PM		Tormos - Satnak its been years, I never expected to see you of all people in an out fit like that.

Serene - We're a little busy here right now.

Tormos - Oh sorry, but could you introduce me to your friend when she's not so out of it.

Serene - :nonono: I think your confused, I'm Serene the silly drunk here is Satnak.

Tormos - :blink: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: (i.h.h. .... i'm not gonna be walking away from this now, reset goal to being able to twitch feebly)
Silver: Told you this would be fun. :devil:

13: Hey, I'm the one who predicted it.

OOotherpeople: Show me the proof!
13: Maybe he'll fall for Serene and we'll have a great battle for her affection?
OOC: Was that too easy?
rampant

08-18-06, 04:24 PM		OOC: close, but ... not :evillaugh
rampant

08-18-06, 07:34 PM		OOC: Where have we heard this snap shot business before, 2 bits its another bust.
----------------------------

Tormos (shoulder devil) - Back away slowly, and escape with all your limbs intact.

Tormos (shoulder angel) - Press on, be of aid mayhap you can win her heart and hand for real.

Tormos - (i.h.h. does this mean my father's insanity is genetic)

T.S. Devil - no, but that does

Tormos (shoulder fanboy) - she is sooooooooooo awesome!!!, lookithertailandthestripesandthegemeyes

Tormos - (i.h.h. :twitch: )
----------------
OOC: Poor kid is gonna develope a tic.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-18-06, 09:01 PM		OOC: I realized after I posted it that my commentary came off a little harsh, but I was short on time. It's just that I found out who it is that Terrek reminds me of.

Thomas Hobbes, author of The Leviathan. He is so full of crap I can't even begin to describe it...

I also agree with most of the others. Utopia is simply not possible. ESPECIALLY if this was accomplished BEFORE omnipotence was established (and omnipotent utopia doesn't count). Peace and powerful citizens cannot realistically coexist without some force keeping them in check (thus, they aren't free). No social problems is hard enough to buy as it is, and an all-powerful leader isn't conducive to any true utopia. Terrek said it himself that he has total override powers. That means that if he doesn't like it, it doesn't happen. Thus, the 12 are little better than a puppet government made to appease the masses. This is no utopia, it is society of slaves who think they're free.

I'm not saying it would happen, but what if Terrek suddenly decides that an entire section of the population had to die for no real reason? They could do nothing about it. He is effectively God there. That is not any "utopia" I want to be part of. The citizens can only be as happy, or miserable, as he allows them to be.

I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but I just wanted to explain why I took it that way.
cypher_zero

08-18-06, 09:45 PM		OOC: Well, you make several valid points. I do actually agree with you on most of them. However, and I've not made mention of this before, I've been scaling back the scope of Terrek's abilities, including what he can do on his own plane. It won't be readily apparent, because it doesn't change anything that's already happened, but it does have a serious impact on future events. As to your arguments against the utopia concept, just bear with me for the time being till I've got the Wiki entry done. Hopefully that'll cover any and all questions you might have. I'm just going to ask that you keep an open mind until then - as well as Terra's and Lisa's. One last bit: while Utopia might be impossible/improbable here in reality, this is fiction. Also, I do have to agree to some extent that true utopia is not possible, however, Terrek's plane is supposed to be very close, not nessicarily true Utopia, but as close to it (Terrek's version at least) as you will see. You'll aslo see that the culture and society there are very different from our own with a different set of customs, ideas, etc. I'm going to start typing some of it up tonight, so you should be able to see some of what I'm talking about soon.
.
rampant

08-18-06, 09:51 PM		OOC: the horseis not only dead, its fossilized, and on display in a freaking museum!! :rant:

OORampant (in mewtwo suit) - anybody else? *charges psychic*
-------------------------

Tormos - Well then Serene (i.h.h. odd name) allow me to assist.

A riven moves through Satnak, once through it reeks of booze.

Satnak - Wha...? OH **** not now, not yet.

Serene - THATS HIM?!

Satnak - Tormos, yep, he's older but the hair is an unmistakeable family trait.

Serene - You stay away from her, get back away right now.

Tormos - :eek: :confused: huh?
cypher_zero

08-18-06, 10:24 PM		OOC: Huh? Calm down. I think you guys take me way to seriously at times. I'm not upset, just trying to hold together the plot I devised before I even began posting. I'm not trying to be a pain about it, I'm just trying to make it work out the way I'd intended. Anyways, that's all I'm gonna say about it.

Oh, and the first bit of the Wiki is up: Here (http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Terrek's_Plane)
Kaizer_Ryu

08-18-06, 10:42 PM		OOC: I wasn't going to say any more, rampant. I just haven't been able to post since last night, and wanted my say. :bigeyes:

This idea came to me a little while ago, and is supposed to happen sometime between the girls leaving Terrek's plane, and where I have them now.

IC:

(In Terrek's room on the FF)

*knock knock*

Terrek: Enter.

13: Mail for you. *hands him a package*

Terrek: This is...from Terra and Lisa? How'd you- nevermind. I sometimes forget you can do the impossible because you don't exist.

13 leaves as he opens the box. In it is a bag with a letter attached to it. The letter reads as follows:

"Terrek,

Though we can understand and accept that such action is merely part of your nature, we find ourselves unable to accept your gifts any longer. Though you hid the "catch" well, I am hardly an amateur when it comes to noticing spells and magical manipulation. This kind of charm is by far the most advanced of it's kind I have ever seen, but not the first by any means. You are quite skilled, but never underestimate Woman's Intuition.

I'll have you know it took me two weeks to locate the source of the enchantments and a full month to purge our systems of all their effects. It was also quite unpleasant to unbind the familiar. However, having friends in high places has its benefits. My allies in Zilargo were beside themselves with grief when I said they couldn't keep the elemental graft.

I cannot stress enough the extent of my unhappiness with this turn of events. Though I am feared by a great many people, I am also known for my word. My agreements are made in good faith and always kept if that good faith is returned. A gift is not much different. No amount of power is worth manipulation. If it mean't we could live free, I would give up every last bit I had.

At this time, I will assume you misjudged either my ability to find it or the severity of my reaction to it. Either way, such a slight would normally warrent a rather harsh reprisal. However, for several reasons, I will not do so. First, Satnak is our friend, and any action taken against you would likely upset Serene. Second, any solo action against you would likely result in grave injuries for myself, if I even managed to walk away at all. Not to mention that you are technically a member of the crew. I respect Captain Jarlot, and to this end I will not let a vendetta that would solve little and hurt much take place under his watch.

As a suitable resolution to this, mark my life-debt paid in full.

Signed:
Terra Branford
Lisa Hopeforge

Annotated by Reman Wescal" (OOC: I couldn't help it, it sounds too much like a legal document not to. :D )

Opening the bag, he finds the bottle with the silver elemental graft and the satchel with the tentacle whip familiar inside. They have been wiped clean of any signs of the girls lifeforce.

Terrek: Well, she certainly is thorough...

OOC: I'll let you do the rest of his reaction if you want, cypher. I don't mean to be a complete jerk, but remember, she worked for and in the Underground for decades. Such things were commonplace. As for the life-debt, it may seem a little much to cancel it, but it really would make her that mad.
cypher_zero

08-18-06, 10:56 PM		OOC: Hey, it was always your option to do something like this. The goal of the gifts (obviously) was to make them powerful enough that they might think twice about getting rid of them.

IC:

Terrek: Hmph. I figured that might happen. Perhaps it was not the smartest idea to begin with. Perhaps returning them free of the enchantments as a gesture of good faith would help. I will have to seriously tone down their abilities though…

OOC: I’ll leave it up to you to decide weather of not the girls accept them back, no tricks this time; though I honestly don’t think they will, but that’s your call.
.
Paulon

08-18-06, 11:19 PM		*throws some OOC peanuts at Cypher_Zero and Terrek from the viewing gallery*

I rather think returning them without traps but with lesser abilities would be considered extremely insulting, in addition to the original injury. Sorta like saying "Have them back, but you can't be trusted with them at full strength unless I can control you through them." Of course trying it anyway should make for some fun viewing for everyone else when the explosions go off. ;)
urial angel of death

08-18-06, 11:40 PM		Volrath: Holy crap I forgot my campers! *runs down to lowwer decks*

Volrath opens the door to the labyrinth (sp). In front of him is a sight of pure carnage. Blood cloats the walls and body parts litter the halls. Their bodies are piled high in the corners, the children having apparently fled there for protection.

Volrath: My bad. :eek:

A small kobold crawls out of one of the piles of bodies. His face is full of shock and depression.

Volrath: How did you survive?

kobold: I did somethings I'm not proud of and would rather not repeat.

Volrath: Alright then. You had better go back to the dorms.

kobold: I'll do that.

He then walking up the stairs, still shaking from his ordeal.

OOC: Sorry about the cop-out. I had just completely forgotten and posting the story now would seem out of place.
rampant

08-19-06, 12:50 AM		Satnak - Give me one good reason for me to not rip your throat out right now. And if those riven even twitch I'll...

Serene - Satnak!

Satnak - ....

Tormos - Thank you, now as to why you-

Serene - I said get away from her you monster. *you've never seen a glare like this*
LugWrench

08-19-06, 01:16 AM		You know. With all this stuff going on, I shudder to think what we hath unleashed on the world, should someone actually compile all of this into a book.
Speaking of writing, can I get a few 'sound bites' from the crew? Im thinking that its about time something the Korranberg Chronicle did an article or two on the crew. Maybe even did one of those 'entrenched reporter' things. If the entities could send me a quick quote or two from Jarlot, Marish, Norbaz, Ketler, and Santak (sp) answering why they joined the crew (or started the whole damn mess to begin with) Their responsabilities, and a random quote. Ill gather everything together and try to whip up an article.
Keep in mind, this would by no means be an Official Wizards posting or anything like that. Im just going on the premise of "We just cant keep the dumbest amongst us out of the news."
rampant

08-19-06, 01:31 AM		Satnak - I do most of the heavy lifting, fallen trees, ducky shards (don't ask), small banks. Alot of negotiations, debtors, debt collectors, people who wanna fight instead of handing over the valuables. These days though I prefer to just spend time with Serene.

I joined mostly to escape my life at home,... before you ask is it worth your pancreas?

"Eyes off my girlfriend or i play musical organs"
-----------------

Chalky - I do the art, posters, murals, graffiti left at raid sites. I'm also something of an alchemist, picked up a few tricks playing with paints and explosives.

why I joined, money and oppurtunities to cause trouble.

"would you taste better in barbeque or teryaki"
-----------------

Kithle - I'm just a magnificent bastard

"are you still here?" or "have you seen my plaque"
------------------

Deathpaper - I was told there would be birdseed, where is the birdseed?

"stop holding out, give me the birdseed"
turalisj

08-19-06, 03:06 AM		the mindbolds: We're just background characters, not even noted on the wiki for crying out loud.
"Do you have to blow something to Khyber to get noticed?"
rampant

08-19-06, 03:37 AM		not necessarily, but it helps
rampant

08-19-06, 11:11 AM		Serene - Shoo, scat, scram, get out of here, move... What are you waiting for go away and leave us alone!!!

Tormos - Enough peasant, I have tried to be polite, but stay out of this. This is between me and Satnak.

Satnak - DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!!!

Serene - Get away from us right now. Satnak has been through enough without you messing up what we have now.

Tormos - Uhhhhhhhh *'port*
Crystalforged

08-19-06, 11:20 AM		Kanatash - My duties on the ship are fairly straightforward. I keep the redshirt population under control and I destroy any who would oppose us mind, body, and soul as well as inflicting punishments too horrific to be properly described upon those who really **** off the crew. Oh, and I almost forgot, I serve as the ships counselor on occasion too. You know, helping them deal with their emotionally troubles not to mention all that stress.

"You call me mad, but say rather that I understand. What do I understand you ask? You shall see soon enough..."
rampant

08-19-06, 12:54 PM		Satnak - I should just kill them quickly, before they can use the riven.

Serene - NO!, you said it yourself your clans need the Sirinon. We just have to convince them that your unavailable.

Satnak - Never stopped this kind of thing before. We're lucky Ketty is still hiding from most of the world and caring for Tirmek.

Serene - Why? surely she wouldn't!

Satnak - I don't know the clan tradtions are even more important to her than me. She would never had considered Toren as a mate had she not been brainwashed. On the other hand we were both betrayed.

Serene - Huh?

Satnak - 10 bloody years and not one of them came looking for us. I could forgive the first five or so, but once the fervor died down...We were on the same island for mol's sakes, i participated in the world instead of just hiding from the other all around me. Bloody rekking cowards. :weep:

Serene - there there let it out, you don't have to be brave when its just us.

Satnak - Just us but...

no one is there.

Serene - Silly girl, they left after that creep bolted.
-----------------------

Belowdecks

Chalky - I like breathing

Lord Sirinon - Cherry Limeade
luna18moon

08-19-06, 02:10 PM		Slaypaw opens the door to Satnak's room.
Salypaw: Don't worry, Satnak! We know you can figure out a way not to marry that bastard. Besides, even if you do, we'll still be there, meow. :)
Fluffy: Meow! (Yeah!)
Slaypaw: Besides, I doubt that Tormos enjoys being clawed. And if he does, I'll rip out his throat. And if that doesn't faze him, I'll hand him over to Kanatash for a counseling appointment.
Satnak: :eek: That's going a bit far.
Slaypaw: *matter-of-factly* You're Fluffy's mommy. Nothing's to far to go.
OOC: I have a new idea for Fluffy and Slaypaw, but I won't put it into action until Operation C.A.T. is done, and that won't happen until Satnak gets rid of Tormos or the Cats get at him.
rampant

08-19-06, 04:27 PM		Kithle - Ok operation corridor was a bust, lets try being a little more subtle. Ok don't let them sleep.

Sa'vor - Thats just mean.

Kanatash - I like it

Death Paper - So its the Squirrel harmonics practice time till they leave then.

Kithle - Yes, with Devon's pieces

Sa'vor - Cooooold Kithle

Kanatash - Do I have to say it?

Kithle - Yes, yes you do.

Kanatash - You magnificent Bastard. :rolleyes:
Kaizer_Ryu

08-19-06, 07:23 PM		OOC: Poor rampant, no one's paying attention to your plot. :weep: I'd be in there, but, as you know, my characters are preoccupied at the moment.

Speaking of them, I remembered a little while ago that I was going to show you all why no crewmembers could know what was going on with them. This takes place just after they leave Terrek's plane.

IC:

OOKaizer: Oh, good. You're done.

Terra: Uh...yeah...

Lisa: What are you up to?

OOKaizer: What makes you say that?

Lisa: That. *points beside him*

Next to him is the :plotting: smiley.

OOKaizer: Oops. Forgot to put that away. Ok, you got me. But I think you'll like it.

A flash of light surrounds them as they disappear.
----------
In their respective areas of residence, Naz'roth and Terrek go to see what Terra and Lisa are up to. When they activate their scrying tools, only sound comes through.

Female Voice: *bo do DEEP* We're sorry. The people you are scrying are outside your viewing area. Please, stop manifesting and cast again later. For only 49 copper pieces-*turns it off*
----------
In Ketler's lab.

Ketler: Finally, a way to break through that blasted Entities protection!

Activating his new device, an image of the girls pops up, only to be replaced nanoseconds later with the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!

Ketler: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Curse you, William d'Gates! CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!
-----------
Volrath: *grabs his head* Augh!

Nalfein: Is it the sickening cuteness again?

Volrath: No...worse...MUCH worse! My empathic link has been replaced with easy listening muzak!

Nalfein: :eek:

Volrath: It get's worse.

Nalfein: What could possibly make it worse?!

Volrath: It's playing really, really quietly! :weep: :weep: :weep:

EDIT: I have to agree with Paulon about the gifts (sans explosions). I was going to say no, but forgot *looks sheepish*. They wouldn't accept them again, even if they were at full power, unless Terrek gave them reason to believe he wasn't just hiding another enchantment. Trust is so hard to gain, but can be so easily broken.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-19-06, 07:47 PM		( ooc: Rampant great plot line, and Im itching to medle, but Chanse is still finding his feet with the crew, and the Booze paralementals are one joke chars. Beleve me, soon as its open season on Riven its party time :plotting: )

Chanse calmly walks into the Campers area
Chanse "Ok listen up, there is good news and bad news. The good news is I am willing to guarente Nalfen leaves you alone for a while. The Bad news is you have been recruted to help in the capture of the Aundair Airsip the Flashing dancer. Those of you who survive to gain one half share of profest from said endevour. Volintears to make themselves known to me or the captain." [IHH: I do not force, I do not coerce. I am nothing like my Teachers...]
rampant

08-19-06, 08:45 PM		OOC : it is open season on Tormos and lord Sirinon, keep them off balance, don't let them sleep.
--------------------

Tormos - I can't take it, i must shut off that infernal noise.

Squirrel Quior is doing not-so-silent-knight written and directed by Devon. The squirrels are wearing massievly exaggerated earplugs. Lord Sirinon is whatching intently.

Lord Sirinon - Shhhhh boy, have you no culture? :mad:
Crystalforged

08-19-06, 08:58 PM		Kanatash: Do you really mean "open season" or is there still the requirement that they must come out of it alive/sane. Because if it's really open season then I've got a bit of a score to settle over the whole riven disintegrating my arm thing. If its not though I can have patience. The time will come. Eventually...
rampant

08-19-06, 09:47 PM		OORampant - hmmmmm.... keep them from resting or such they're too strong as of yet. buuuuut once the've been up for a few days straight, well the riven won't do much good. Nothing that could be interperted as a direct attack, but be like the annoying wacky guy and never let them alone. The squirrels can't keep this up forever.

Ominous creaking noises from the earplugs.
turalisj

08-19-06, 10:14 PM		the three mindbolds are sitting on top of the crows next of the FF, sniping redshirts.
Redshirt1: Hey, no camp-grk
Redshirt2: Yeaaaaaa!!!!!*redshirt2 starts firing an uzi at the crows nest, who gets sniped before the first bullet lands*
Satnak: *entering, wearing a robe and nightcap* Yawn. Ok, who is playing counterstrike with the redshirts? *looks up at the mindbolds* You guys again? Didn't we kill you three?
Mindbold1: That was the mindbold ninja squad. We are the S.W.A.T team.
Mindbold2: Similar.
Mindbold3: But diffrent in that we have better weapons, and have been infused with the same energy that makes you so powerfull.
Satnak: You mean.....
Mindbold1: Yup, we are the creation of a nerd with nothing better to do.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-19-06, 10:19 PM		OOC: Those squirrels might not, but these ones could...

IC:

Tormos and Lord Sirinon stand dumbfounded at the other tenants holed up in the guest room. About a dozen squirrels in blue outfits with black visors huddle next to a miniature supercomputer setup that reads "Operation: Don't Crush Ourselves".

Blue Laser: The Squeak Commandos will never find our Secret Kitchen Headquarters. Since we relocated to my Nana's Secret Guest Room!

Minion: *salutes* The acorn-burgers are done, sir.

Blue Laser: *shakes his fisted paw in the air in triumph* Fan-TAS-tic!
urial angel of death

08-19-06, 10:45 PM		In the deck beneath Tormos and Sirinon's room Volrath and Kanatash are talking. The floor an walls around them seems to be alive and is covered with unnatural vegetation, molds, and slime. Jutting out of this landscape are enormous serated claw like towers arranged in groups of four around pulsating cyst like objects.

Volrath: Don't worry uncle these spore chimneys will make their lives miserable and possibly even weaken them for stage two.

Kanatash: Execellent, but won't they affect the rest of the crew too?

Volrath: So?

both: *maniacal laughter*
cypher_zero

08-19-06, 10:50 PM		OOC: Actually, rampant, I'm lovin the plot. I think I'm gonna take a break away from Terrek for a bit. I think I need to do a bit of a re-invention of him, so yea... Just assume he's watching from the shadows waiting and hoping his plans don't fall apart. We'll see how it goes.
rampant

08-19-06, 11:24 PM		OOC: yeah this plot is actually for Serene, she's not much for violence so I designed a problem that would make satnak not head in fist first.
------------------------------

Tormos - I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me.

Devon - Oh Silence loved this one.
--------------------

Robrands - So those two are here to take the brute away :plotting: , this could work well for me :evillaugh

Ernest - Put a sock in it I'm trying to sleep :mad:
Crystalforged

08-19-06, 11:45 PM		Kanatash: Oh, the horrors have only just begun. I have one word for you, "Mbop". This song, borrowed from the entity's reality is so evil, so foul, so mind-numbingly annoying that it's recitation is carries a sentance of death in all five nations. However the squirels have refused to recite it, cited morals, so I need to find an alternate delivery method.
turalisj

08-19-06, 11:53 PM		Just then, the three mindbolds walk by Kanatash, humming the tune to Mbop.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-20-06, 12:09 AM		OOC: I just had a thought most evil. This should keep them good and annoyed for some time.

IC:

Nemesis wanders the halls in search of the reason the camp is being ignored. That, and a certain halfling girl won't stop pestering her.

Piffany: ...and then, he totally, like-

Nemesis: By the GODS! Do you ever shut up?!

Piffany: :weep:

At this time they come across Tormos and Lord Sirinon. An idea strikes her.

Nemesis: Say..you know who would really like to hear all your stories?

Piffany: Who?

Nemesis: I heard that cute guy over there asking all about you. *points at Tormos*

Piffany squeals with glee and runs over. She immediately begins talking at full speed.

Piffany: OhmygodsyouaresocoolItotallyheardyouwere askingaboutme-

Tormos: Who are-

Piffany: -whatkindofgirlsdoyoulikewhatkindoffooddo you-

Tormos: If I could-

Piffany: -likewhereareyoufromthoseghostthingiesare cool-

Tormos: Would you just-

Piffany: -what'syournamewho'stheoldguyareyousomeki ndof-

Tormos: Young lady-

Piffany: -wizardorsomethingmyname'sPiffanyI'mlike-

Nemesis watches for a few minutes, smiling evilly, then walks away to find her mentor.
Crystalforged

08-20-06, 12:13 AM		Just then, the three mindbolds walk by Kanatash, humming the tune to Mbop.
Kanatash: (glancing at the mindbolds) Wow, you either have no morals at all or your willingness to wh*re yourselves out for attention know no bounds. Even I won't willingly utter that abomination of my own will. Bravo. :clap: Now be good little freaks of nature and go "introduce" yourselves to our guests.

Oh, and Nemesis, excelent work. Cudos for taking full advantage of the resources at hand. I have yet to regret taking you under my wing.
turalisj

08-20-06, 12:55 AM		Mindbold1: Nah, we had our morals removed long ago.
Mindbold2: Before we were here, we worked for a company know as microsoft.
Mindbold3: Having your moral removed was apart of the job application.
rampant

08-20-06, 01:13 AM		OOC: so much for that half-elven bonus to listen checks being an advantage.
----------------------

Tormos - Can't Sleep Squirrels will get me!Can't Sleep Squirrels will get me!Can't Sleep Squirrels will get me!Can't Sleep Squirrels will get me!Can't Sleep Squirrels will get me!Can't Sleep Squirrels will get me!

Lord Sirinon - hisnameistormoshisfavoritefoodispeanutst heghostthingiesarepowerfulenforcersofour willheisapsionicseerwithtraininginsevera lmartialartstylesfocusedonperceptionandr eadinghisopponentsmovesiamhisfatherandmu chclosertoawizardasforgirlsheistowedsatn akofborisheel
Crystalforged

08-20-06, 01:17 AM		Kanatash: Ah yes, Microsoft. I know of them. They've devoured more souls than Terrek has. I'm quite fond of them really. Well then, since morals won't be a problem go play with our "friends" post-haste. In exchange I'll try to make it a point to use you occasionally in my posts. Deal?
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-20-06, 09:33 AM		OOcat: Ahhhhh! :cool: The other entities are doing all the work, and I just soak up the comedy.

Bunny: :mad: Lllllllllll-aaaaaaaaaaa-zy.

Suddnely a ninja *poofs* out of a clouds of smoke, drops a fast-food bag on OOcat's chair, and disappears over the side of the ship.

NJ26 (who just happens to be around): :confused: That………… :eek: was SO COOL! (turning to OOcat) Can you teach me that?

OOcat: Ninja-style delivery?

NJ26: Don't you think it would complement my job?

OOcat: All I can do is refer you to Ninja Burger (http://www.ninjaburger.com/), the rest is up to you.

NJ26: Come on! You're Mooncat Creations, you can make anything.

OOcat: *sigh* Okay…*finger snap*

NJ26: :blink: That was anti-cool-FX.

OOcat: I just switched your stats over to a "word followed by a number" simple system and added "Ninja" at +6, which is the best you can have.

13: We need to come up with something to do to the two targets.

OOcat: Got it covered: once everyone else has had a crack at them, we come in and be nice to them.

NJ26:………… :confused: Is this some Non-existant Entity thing that goes over my head?

Bunny: Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh man……that is the supreme evilness. :devil:

Silver (appearing): Hey guys, are we doing anything to Pretty-boy and Lord Senile?

Bunny: Being nice to them.

Silver: Sweeeeeeeeeeeet. :devil:

NJ26: :confused:
Kaizer_Ryu

08-20-06, 04:06 PM		Terra: I feel like we're being left out of something. Again.

Lisa: Now's probably not the best time for us to be involved in anything, so I think it's for the best.

Terra: True. Besides, being waited on hand and foot by every maid anime cliche in existence isn't half bad.

Lisa: Poor cliche male lead. Having inherited this place from some obscure deceased relative, forced to live here for some bizarre reason, and have it fully staffed by beautiful, well endowed yet clumsy maids just about his age.

Terra: Not to mention the phobia of women, the awful luck that seems to get him into the most ackward situations, and the fact that at least one of them is a childhood friend he had a crush on that he can't quite recognize but several of them remind him of.

Lisa: This is surprisingly amusing.

Terra: Room service, massages, and entertainment. Not that bad a setup.
Fevil

08-20-06, 04:23 PM		.Thanks, here's some more that are mostly true

104. Repeat after me, I did not cause the Day of Mourning.

105. I am not Batman

106. The Demon Wastes will not be referred to as "Athas"

107. A Mel Gibson look alike is not driving around The Mournland in a V8.

108. What most Mourners do not need is "A good slap"

109. Sieg Heil is not the correct manner of greeting King Kaius.

110. Being a pirate does not make me the ultimate enemy of Ninjas.

111. Being a pirate does not make Boo Radely our King or the Mockingbird something we must figure out how to kill.

112. The proper response to a defeated foe offering surrender is not

"ALL YOUR BASE, ARE BELONG TO US!"

113. Or

"YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO DESTRUCTION!"
"HAHAHAHAHA."

114. Even if I laugh like hell.

115. There is not a secret plot to combine Dark Sun and the Council of Wyrms and the Flanaes into one setting on Eberron to save money.

116. Even if they did it with Forgotten Realms

117. You shall not argue the merits of the attractive paladin turning tricks "for the good of the party."

118. Bards are not to be shot on sight for being worthless.

119. Nor shall Gnomes.

120. The Gnomes of Zilargo are not the cast from Cruel Intentions and every soap opera in history.

121. People from the Eldeen Reaches do not have Plaid outfits and talk like Hillbillies.

122. I will not make "You might be from the Eldeen Reaches" lists.

123. Making only the Orcs like this is not a substitute.

124. The Aurrum are not led by Blofeld.

125. Or Doctor Evil.

126. Austin Powers is not a member of the King's Citadel.

127. James Bond is.

128. I will never under ANY circumstances shout "My name is Indigo Montoya, You killed my father. Prepare to die"

129. Even if they did.

130. You will not try and hum the 2001 theme when encountering Quori monoliths.

131. Boris and Natasha do not work for Karrnath.

132. King Kaius is not to be referred to as "Fearless Leader"

133. Moose and Squirrel are not good codenames for the party when doing undercover work against them.

134. The Wardens of the Forrest are not to be referred to as the Harpers.

135. Nor are they lead by Elminster.

136. I will not when meeting Kalashatyr shout "Wait, I've met you before in the ancient civilization of the Giants in a previous life. Yes, ATLANTIS!"

137. Even if I did.

138. I will not attempt to rescue party members from the Realm of the Dead by saying to the Maruts "You know a guy thirty miles away is trying to sneek a way a soul. He's invisible so look really for an hour."

139. If the condition for releasing a party member is not to look back at them. Do not simply stick your hands behind your head to block your vision and claim it works.

140. You are not in 8-bit nor is "Haddokken" or "Stabbity death" a answer for anything.

141. I will not build a spelljammer to surf on the Ring of Siberys.

142. I will not use Khyber shards to summon Elvis.

143. Warforged are not to be my butlers.

144. The Chamber is not to be called "The Dragonati"

145. Rakashasas are not members of the Masons or effette British Indian Colonialists.

146. Sharn is not "New York only more flying carpets"

147. The Gatekeepers are not an anime about communist fears of Japan.

148. The proper battle cry for a female moonspeaker is not "IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I WILL PUNISH YOU!"

149. Even if you are a SAILOR Moonspeaker

150. House Cannith is not Shin-ra nor is it possible to find Aeris selling flowers in Sharn.

151. Being from Karrnath is not reason enough to wear a German barmaid's outfit.

152. Especially if you are a man.

153. As a child, Queen Aurala did not have a gingerbread house that she lured you to try and eat you.

154. If she does own a magic mirror, it's not to scry the land so she can put to sleep girls who are more attractive than her or lock them in towers.

155. You will not shout "my ass" when talk of her benevolent rule is spoken.

156. The Thrane Royal Family will not be referred to as "the most useless monarchy since Britains."

157. Even if one of you happens to be a subject of the Queen of England (and Canada)

158. Merrix D'Cannith is not building a giant *fingerwag* laser on one of the moons.

159. You will not pretend to be Boranal's bastard son.

160. Even if it's 50-50 likely.

161. You will not try and use the Silver Flame to roast marshmellows.

162. Or weenies.

163. You will not ask if you can put a rotessary over it.

164. BBQ over it does not taste better because of that 'spiritual goodness.'

165. I will not claim to have had sex with Dol Arrah

166. Or Arawai.

167. Or the Fury

168. Especially not at once.

167. Elves do not react to dog whistles.

168. Kobolds do.

169. Erandis D'Vol is not "Vecna's teenage Goth daughter."

170. No I cannot import kender via the Plane of Shadows to leave a mark of fear and terrror across the land.

171. Five warforged cannot join together with five magic medallions to become Voltron.

172. It is wrong to tell warforged this.

173. The Blood of Vol did not get started by the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

174. Breland's Collosus of Freedom does not have "Give me your rich, your pretty, and your gulliable" on her tablet.

175. The airship's mechanic shall not be referred to as "Cid"

176. Dragonshards will not be referred to as "Materia"

177. Or Mana.

178. You will not hum the Legend of Zelda theme while walking

179. It is not a compliment to toss catnip on shifters and watch them trip out.

180. Argonessan is not Australia, I don't know where you got the idea and all dragons do not suddenly talk like the Crocodile Hunter.

181. Jedi is not an acceptable prestige class because all things can be found in Eberron.

182. Nor can you refer to the bugbear as Chewie.

183. Cyre will not mutate superintelligent apes and they will eventually replace us all so we might as well blow the planet now.

184. The Emerald Claw is a frightening group of terrorists and undead worshippers, they are not to be judged by the fact their name sounds like a strip club or oriental restaurant.

185. When the Quori view my dreams I cannot imagine them stomped on by Godzilla to kill them.

186. The Tarrasque is not Godzilla...IN ANY WORLD.

187. Bone Knights should not be challenged by saying "You get a real boner for combat huh?"

188. the proper response for a mysterious NPC giving a mission is to not spit whiskey on them and then set them on fire.

189. Booty from treasure hunts will not be referred to as "bling bling."

190. When we see a distress signal we do not say "F*** that! We're taking this boat to Risa."

191. It's wrong to capture Dinosaurs and try to open a park on some island near Xen'drick.

192. The proper response when meeting the son of Queen Aurala is not to say "You know your mom's a real **** right?"

193. If Queen Aurala is ever successfully kidnapped, you will not try her for witchcraft by putting a fake nose on her and weighing her against a duck.

194. Jaela's birthday six years from now will not be a cause for celebration because she turns 'legal'

195. You will not beat the crazzap out of Royal Eyes members on principle.

196. Or causally announce their status as spies in crowded marketplaces.

197. Putting up your cloak in blood daylight does not add +1 to your Hide/Sneak check.

198. The Day of Mourning did not result in mass mutations that created the Eberron version of the X-men

199. Or the Incredible Hulk.

200. You will not pistol whip Prince Jurian.

201. Unless I order you too.

202. Queen Aurala is not even a Magic user! Why the hell do you keep making the Witch jokes!?

201. Prince Oargev's name is not a euphemism for his sexual leanings.

202. Cyre was not Naboo nor was the Day of Mourning righteous revenge for the Prequels.

203. The Daughters of Sora Kell are not a Lilith Fair band.

204. You will not ask any Rakashasa Prince to endorse frosted flakes by saying "They'reee GREAAAAAT!"

:lol:

Too many Laugh Points to count.

Kudos to you and your group
Rei32491

08-20-06, 04:49 PM		Volrath: (outside Nalfein's door) When are you coming out?

Nalfein: Now. (opens the door) Behold! The ultimate in annoyance!

I give you...

Cheese (http://images.quizilla.com/T/TE/TED/teddiursafreak/1136320789_urescheese.jpg)
Race: Cheese
Class: Cheese
Level: Cheese
Alignment: Cheese

Cheese was created by Nalfein. His sole purpose is to annoy anyone and everyone Nalfein chooses. He is immune to all physical and magical effects, can bypass any protection field. He is scared by nothing but the most mundane and non-scary things. When he screams, everyone in a 100ft range must make an insane will save, or be driven to a rage. His only combat ability is an unbreakable grapple check, and it is only used to hold on to a persons hand or artical of clothing. It can only be used when funny. He will say things completely at random and without any relation to the topic or subject matter at hand.

Volrath: Oh my gods. WHAT DID YOU TAKE FROM MY STASH!

Nalfein: Nothing, I just like to annoy the crew. And the best part is, he only listens to my comman-

Cheese: I. Like. Chocolate. Milk.

Nalfein: Yes, I know that.

Volrath: Wow, even I didn't think that you could create something this evil.

Cheese: I. Like. Chocolate. Milk.

Volrath: Yes, we got that the last time!

Cheese: Can I have some Chocolate Milk?

Nalfein: No, you're lactose intolerant.

Cheese: I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!

Volrath: SHUT UP!

Cheese: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH!!!!!!!

Volrath: MAKE IT STOP!

Nalfein: CHEESE! CHEESE!

Cheese: Yes.

Nalfein: Stop it.

Cheese: Ok.

Volrath: Go annoy someone else.

Cheese: *nasally inhale* Ok.

*walks away*

Nalfein: What have you done?!

Volrath: I got rid of him...why?

Nalfein: You didn't tell him who to annoy! Now he could annoy anyone and its going to be my ass if its an Uber!

Cheese: *shouting down a hallway* I LIKE FISHY CRACKERS!
Crystalforged

08-20-06, 05:16 PM		OOCrystalforged: Ok, I just want to state for the record, you're going to hell for this one. All three of you. Including you OORei, the creation of that thing was an act more heinous than anything I have done.

Kanatash: (with Cheese hanging onto his arm) Yes, and I'm going to personally ensure you suffer profusely for this.

Cheese: I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK.

Giant anime sweatdrop from Nalfein, Volrath, and OORei.
Rei32491

08-20-06, 05:29 PM		:heehee

OORei: I was going there anyway, so I thought "Why not?"

Nalfein: Exactly.

Volrath: I didn't have anything to do with it. Why am I being punished? :weep:

Cheese: I wanna play a game!

Volrath: Ok. Come here. I know a great game. :devil:

Volrath leads him to a closet. He shoves him in and magical locks cover it. If you can imagine it, it's sealing him in. If you can't imagine it, it's sealing him in.

Volrath: It's called "SIT DOWN A STAY QUIET FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!! :evillaugh

Cheese: *from in the closet* I liiiiiiiiiike this game.

Cuddles: *walks in* What are you doing?

Volrath: *guarding the closet* Nothing! :angelhide

Cheese: *from behind Cuddles* Hi Kitty.
Crystalforged

08-20-06, 05:47 PM		Kanatash: Your the one who told him to go annoy someone else.

Volrath: Oh. :confused: How do you know about that?

Kanatash: Omniscence. Comes from being an entity. Now get that thing up to Tormos's room and I might just forget about the punishments. I need to go find the Mindbolds so I can set up a pincer movement. Maybe I should grab Jarlot Sr. while I'm at it. I doubt he'll have any effect on Lord Sirinon but Tormos is another matter...
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-20-06, 06:12 PM		Cheese walks into Erk's Place.

Chesse: I like chooooooocolate milk.

Erk: Are you lactose intolerant?

Cheese: Yes.

Erk pulls a carton of lactose-free chocolate milk. Cheese drinks the milk.

Cheese (in an erudite British accent): Oh, thank you, good sir. You have no idea how annoying it is to have a higher brain function that runs on a substance that you are normally allergic to.

Cheese walks out, still drinking the milk.

OORei: :OMG! But………How……The Hell………

OOcat: :bored: I literally live on challenges like this.
*******
Silver: Hey girls.

Terra: How…?

Silver: :confused: What? Hot babes, hopeless guy. (Austin Powers accent) It's my bag, baby.

Terra: But you can get through the interference field?

Silver: My E.B.N.E. knows two lines that annoy the insanity out of yours. :cool: And nothing could keep me from missing that.

Silver points over to where the hopeless male lead is interacting with one of the hot maids.

Hot maid: *bows* Can I get you anything else, master?

Hopeless male lead: (higher brain functions have shut down from staring at hot maid's "endowments")

OOcat (popping out of the bushes in a British army uniform and speaking in a British accent): Stop that! STOP THAT! This is far too silly. :mad: This example of the genre is in poor taste. This is terrible! All right, the lot of you, clear off.…
Rei32491

08-20-06, 06:14 PM		OORei: Just to point out OOCat, Cheese wouldn't be effected by that for more than 30 secs. You need to better than that.

IC:

As Tormos fidgets nervously in his room, Cheese taps him on the back.

Tormos: Gah! ...oh, who might you be?

Cheese: I LIKE the fair.

Tormos: :twitch: Uh...'k...

Lord Sirinon: Oh, now here's someone with the right idea! Fairs are indeed enjoyable.

Cheese: I LIKE the fair.

Tormos: I don't like the look of this one...

Lord Sirinon: Come now, boy. You can't just-

He lifts up his hand, which Cheese is currently attached to.

Lord Sirinon: Can I help you?

Cheese: I WANT SOME CANDY!

Lord Sirinon: Very well. *hands him a chocolate wrapped in foil*

Cheese stuffs the whole thing in his mouth, then promptly spits a chewed up mess on Lord Sirinon's clothes.

Cheese: Candy is broken.

Lord Sirinon: *whiping it off* Indeed. :yuck: Now, if you'd kindly release my hand.

Cheese: *nasally inhale* ...ok.

After a few moments of nothing happening, Lord Sirinon tries to shake him off.

Cheese: *shakeing* Ah! *more shaking* AaaaaHHHHhh!! *yet more shaking* AAAAAAAHHHHhhh!!!

Completely fed up, Lord Sirinon puts all his strenght into shaking him off.

Cheese: *violent shaking* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Lord Sirinon: *huff* *huff*

Cheese: Doitagaindoitagaindoitagaindoitagaindoit againdoitagaindoitagaindoitagaindoitagai n! :D

Lord Sirinon & Tormos: :twitch:
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-20-06, 06:35 PM		Chanse "You heard him, open season, make with the funny Worm boy."
ooc Eled "Id love to, but your an Incarnum weilding scoundril, and aspect of chayos, 10 levels below anything thats apaered in the last 50 pages, you need time to build up.
Chanse "So build me up, make with the funny"
ooc Eled "I Cant :banghead: " points to large slab of adamantine barring his key board, engraved on it are the words 'Wrighters block'
Kaizer_Ryu

08-20-06, 06:36 PM		OOKaizer: Actually, that was rather funny.

OOcat: Awwwww....

OOKaizer: When you want to annoy the insanity out of someone, make sure they were actually going somewhere with what you altered. :P

Terra: Shouldn't the 5th wall affect Silver, too?

OOKaizer: She doesn't exist. I can't do anything about that.

Silver: But you two are mean. I missed the beginning with them. *points at Terra and Lisa*

OOKaizer & OOcat: :D

Lisa: About that...

Terra: We knew you'd be upset, so...here.

Terra hands her a book and an image crystal. The book title reads "how it happened".

Silver: *flipping through it* Oh... OOOOOOOOOOO! That's a new one... :eek: That is so awesome! I'm gonna have to add a whole new chapter to my book! :D

Lisa: The only condition is that you don't credit us for any new ideas. Our excapades are already popular enough among the Redshirts.

Silver: Deal.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-20-06, 07:02 PM		Kantash: "So your another aspect of chayos eh? what skills do you bring to the party?"
Chanse "Moastly I play with odds, the travelers luck so to speak."
Kantash: "Realy?" produces a coin from his pouch "Call it" he flips the coin.
Chanse, hardly looking "edge"
Kantash: "Meh, any one can do edge. You want another shot?"
Chanse "Did I forget to memntion Im a thief? look at the coin."
Kantash "Hey! This is a copper, I fliped platnum."
Chanse "What can I say, but your right, thats not so flashy. You got a deck of cards? Im betterwith cards." :schemes:
Kantash "I have cards."
Chanse "Good Shuffle and draw 3, but dont show me or look at them."
kantash does so. "Good, now as I name the cards look at them."
Kantash "ok, but this is kina dull so far."
Chanse "It wont be, now lets see... Mox saphire"
Kanatsh reveals a Mox saphire from the first of the 3.
"Craw Wyrm"
card with a coiling green serpent is duly revealed.
"Explosave Runes" Chanse sparkles green and runs at a fantastic rate.
kantash Soot faced and scowling from the explosave rune "Wait... Those were three Dragon ante cards, how the :censored: !"
Chanse, on other end of the ship and having changed faces 4 times "I kept the platnum too" :evillaugh
urial angel of death

08-20-06, 07:25 PM		A green bulbous globe floats into Tormos' room.

cheese: Oooooooooooooooooooooo, ball! :D

Cheese jumps on it and then begins bouncing between the ceiling and the floor and back again over and over.

cheese: bouncybouncybouncybouncybouncybouncyboun cybouncybouncybouncybouncybouncybouncybo uncybouncybouncybouncybouncybouncybouncy bouncybouncybouncybouncybouncybouncyboun cybouncybouncybouncy!!!!!!!

Lord Sirinon: Odd I could have swore spore mines were filled with-

The spore mine breaks open releasing a greenish liquid all over the room.

Lord Sirinon: Acid!

cheese: Bouncy gone! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-20-06, 07:35 PM		OOKaizer: When you want to annoy the insanity out of someone, make sure they were actually going somewhere with what you altered. :P
OOcat: No, no, no, I meant that song that you don't like.

OOKaizer: What song?

OOcat: —

Silver (to OOcat): Do it and I'll start singing from "The Mikado".

OOcat: :eek: :surrender

OOC: Nothing's wrong with the Mikado, it's just that a lot of the songs are…………*shudder*
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-20-06, 08:14 PM		Ooc: Oh from a while back, giving taglines that help others use our chars, I offer 2 for Chanse. :cookie: to who ever gets the origon of the second.
"The Names Random, Chanse Random..." [in british acent]
&
"They'll call it chanse, or luck, or fate,
The cards and stars will tumble as they will,
You want to know your future; wait.
But still... They'll call it chanse, or luck, or fate."
Kaizer_Ryu

08-20-06, 09:57 PM		OOKaizer: Ok, ok, shoo. Let them be.

OOcat: But-

OOKaizer: Even that accursed song won't get me to change my mind. They need to rest.

Silver: Can I-

OOKaizer: I'll let you know. Now shoo.

They disappear.

Terra: You didn't have to do that, you know. We're fine.

OOKaizer: You're exhausted. You can't push yourself too hard right now.

Terra: They were only here for a little while...

Lisa: Hon, at least humor him. She'll be coming any day now.

Terra: ...ok. I'm just bored, I guess.

OOKaizer: That'll change rather quickly.

Terra: Yeah... :eek: ow...

Lisa: Maybe faster than you thought...
rampant

08-20-06, 10:38 PM		Tormos - Father please nothing is worth this.

Lord Sirinon (has turned one of the riven into a horselike mount and is playing polo with the acid balls) - Pish Posh my boy, these tings take time so our hosts have decided to entertain us. I do believe thats my point Mr.Cheese.

Cheese - I do believe it is, i must say thanks again for this large bottle of lactose free chocolate milk.

Tormos - I'm outta here.
------------------------------
On deck

Tormos - Is he senile or am I missing something.

Serene - I don't know or care. I just want you two go away and leave her alone.

Tormos - I can't by our law we must complete the contracts of the Tourn, now that Father has called the rite of Subsumption. Normally this marriage could be overturned by a challenge to a duel, but the Sirinon are not allowed to make or accept such challenges. Besides its not like she's the worst prospect I've ever had, despite your presence she's probably the best there is.

Serene - She is the best, but she is not some bauble to be traded or collected.

Tormos - Of course not, but our laws demand this.

Serene - Why?

Tormos - I'll be the first to admit, its not how they were intended. My father, and I lived through the hunts, the legacy cutter teams were brutal. They could suppress even our Riven if some cases. We hid and ran. The Borisheel survived, they fought, they became strong, impossibly strong. The day Satnak fought her sister the very planet quaked and shuddered from their colliding will. I remember every portent, every vision about those two.

Serene - Visions? :eek:

Tormos - Oh yes I'm a seer. She is a great nexus of possibilities, Of course my sight tells me of her, her life on the island, her cat, ... you.

Serene - If you knew...

Tormos - Why come at all knowing it could only end in bitterness? well no future is set, All i see are facts and possibilities. Second, my father is still Lord Sirinon and he doesn't want his descendants to run ever again. He wants The legendary power of the Breaker Prime folded into our lineage. And to be truthful I have come to admire her as well. I wish I could have tried without this accursed trick, then maybe...

Serene - What are you going to do now?

Tormos - This will be decided in court, if you win I try to get home withiout the crew wringing my neck. If my father wins, then it becomes my job to make sure Satnak doesn't kill me before I can Sire an heir. She will kill me if forced to do this. I can see my flesh strung from the walls as her mad laughter fills the air.

Serene - She seems scared of something happening to me?

Tormos - She has no need to worry about you, ... but let me explain. Under the normal procedure if an arranged marriage is carried out while one or the other parties ( i.e. me or satnak) already has appointed another mate, the appointed mates are considered married to the other as well. Now since most members of the clans seek mates not of the clans, or are arranged to wed into wealthy non-clan houses, this usually comes into play only in instances like this where someone has been seperated from the clans for a time. Satnak probably fears that I or my father would use you to control her.
Crystalforged

08-21-06, 12:20 AM		Kanatash: Alright, is the plan clear?

Mindbold 1: We wait until Serene is out of the line of fire...

Mindbold 2: ...then we move in, attacking from the shadows...

Mindbold 3: ...with these. (holds up a stereo and several cd's of Mbop)

Kanatash: Eeeeexcelent. You three stay here and wait for your oppertunity. I'm going to find Jarlot Sr.
rampant

08-21-06, 01:21 AM		Serene - And what if I don't want to go with you. I am not bound by your laws.

Tormos - Then you give back the gaurded heart, and you know what that means to her that you carry that. For most of us its just a tradition, a sign of trust. For a Borisheel heir to the Gaurded Heart that blade is the symbolic gift of her heart.

Serene - ... I'm teling you one last time go away and leave us be.

Tormos - I wish I could.

Serene - Coward.

Tormos - Possibly.

As Serene leaves the Gaurded Heart hums faintly.
Charles Phipps

08-21-06, 02:40 AM		OOC: Okay guys, I'm back. I've been finishing writing my first ever RPG supplement for D20 "Endless Seas" and also it's tie in novel "No One Likes Bards."

It'll take me a while to catch up but I hope you'll pick up both books and also the first book in the series "The Gnome King" which is a fantasy parody of D&D ethics in parties. Its coming out in a month.

Hey, does anyone think we should just ask this thread to be archived and start a new one?

In any case, here's the NEW Captain and special thanks to Cary Ewles and his performance as the Bard for the inspiration.

IC:

Cyrus Rose: SNOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Waitress:Sir, there's a letter for you. And you're sleeping in your soup.

Cyrus Rose: No, I'm drunk. There's a difference. Hand it over toots.

Waitress: Thank you sir. Hopefully it'll contain the million gold piece inheritance you conned my father into believing you had in order to stay here when you're obviously a penniless bard.

Cyrus Rose: Oh, I see....this is a race issue isn't it?

Waitress: ...Pardon?

Cyrus Rose: It's because I'm a half elf. You don't like to serve MY kind here do you.

Waitress: No it's not that. It's....

Cyrus Rose: I see, liberal bar maid refuses to serve or sleep with the half-elf bard because she hates the half-elf.

Waitress: Sleep with you!?

Cyrus Rose: Half-Elves are GOOD enough for you are they?

Waitress: No, no of course not...I mean that's not the case. Oh fine, what time!

Cyrus Rose: After dinner.

*Snatches the letter*

Waitress: *trots off*

Cyrus Rose: I wonder how long it'll take her to realize she's an elf. Hopefully it'll happen the morning after. It'll save me some break up time. Let's see what this is, probably another bill.

Dearest Nephew....

Cyrus Rose: I have an uncle?

Yes, you have an Uncle

Cyrus Rose: Good to know.

I have decided to leave my ship and it's crew to you due to the fact I'm currently retired with all of their funds on a tropical island with many beautiful women. Also, this island has no extradition treaties with any other country on the world.

Cyrus Rose: Lucky son of a...

Yes, I am. In any case, the crew are a lazy bunch of good for nothings so you'll fit right in.

Cyrus Rose: Not interested.

Some are hot lesbians

Cyrus Rose: I'm interested.

I thought you would be. In any case, you will be required to be drunk, steal, and womanize the entire way through. The crew will be docking and this document enclosed will reveal that you are the new Captain

Cyrus Rose: Splendid.

Your welcome.

Sincerely yours,

Captain Jarlot

Cyrus Rose: This is your way of kicking me off the island isn't it Uncle?

*next table over*

Jarlot: *surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women* Yes, I'm afraid it is. We took a vote. In any case, here's a list of things you're forbidden from doing.

Cyrus Rose: Oh brother.

Things the Party Bard is Forbidden from Doing

1. Lycanthropy is not an excuse to hump a woman's leg.
2. ....not that you ever needed an excuse.
3. It is wrong to infect a woman with a werecat's bite to make catgirls.
4. ....again.
5. I am not allowed to take the shifter's for a walk.
6. Even if the shifter girl is used to it.
7. I am not allowed to abuse to keep the changeling girl for myself and have all the changeling males handle the other male crew's sexual needs...
8. Even if they can't tell the difference.
9. "Either your memory is faulty or the night wasn't very magical for one of us" is not a way of greeting a woman you've wronged.
10. I am not the Anti-Christ. No matter how badly I behave. Must not tell the crew I am.
11. No longer allowed to drop pants for anything other than crapping.
12.No longer allowed to drop pants. Period.
13. I am to kill the Dragon, not challenge him to a game of riddles....
14. A game of riddles does not consist of a game of Pokemon.
15. Accurate Attack (Ranged) does not make me James Bond.
16. Nor does it make me Austin Powers.
17. Neither would give me the excuse to make witty remarks as people die or go "YEAH BABY" all the time.
18. Queen Aurala's daughters are not carrying my children.
19. At least they BETTER NOT BE.
20. It is wrong to tell the Female Necromancer that her dress code is "clothing optional"
21. It is wrong to tell the Female Druid that all rituals must be held publically and skyclad.
22. It is wrong to participate in the "Great Rite" with the female druid and sneak away before the sacrifice.
23. The Artificer is not Q.
24. Even if he did make me a lightning cart that can shoot rockets out of the back.
25. ...and a laser watch.
26. I will not splash water on Queen Aurala in an attempt to get her to melt.
27.....nor will I throw acid for this same purpose.
28. I will not attempt to call a sandworm in the Demon Wastes.
29. I will not shout "wyrm sign" whenever a dragon appears.
30. I will NOT attempt to ride it.
31. I am not "God Emperor" of anything and it is wrong to tell the crew this/
32. My name is not the somantic component for "Power Word Kill"
33. My name is not the somantic component for "Power Word Orgasm"
34. There is no such THING as Power Word Orgasm.
35. I cannot CREATE that spell.
36. Arrawai is not my copilot.
37. Neither is the Devourer.
38. Wolverine is not a 20th level Shifter.
39. It is wrong to encourage the shifter to try to become him.
40. Even if you offer to have the artificer bind the adamantine and the ring of regeneration.
41. Chain mail Bikinis are not the female crew's uniform.
42. Haste spells do not allow me to Matrix style dodge.
43. Bards are not the class for people who just want to ****
44. I'm a lover not a fighter is not an excuse to stay out of melee.
45. Scry spells are not to observe the Dallas Cowgirl cheerleaders.
46. Or any other locker room of cheerleaders.
47. Charm Person and Suggestion are not dating aids.
48. Polymorph Other is not used to make dates more attractive.
49. It is wrong to 'accidentally' shoot the Paladin at every opportunity.
50. My alignment is not "Sexy Good"
51. I am not the Diet Coke of Evil.
52. Beltaine is not when Tira Mirron comes back to life as a bunny shifter to pass out eggs.
53. I am not allowed to open a club for Longstrider shifters to serve gentlemen.
54. Knock Spells do not....well they actually DO only exist to help in stealing.
55. My middle name is not Link.
56. The former Captain's name is not Ganon.
57. I have not come to to town, to save the Princess Zelda. Whom ganon has taken away so now the children don't play but will...when link saves the day.
58. I will not sell quartz as "Rupies"
59. A Princess is not obligated to "put out" when you save her life.
60. ....and don't ask me why you would save her then.
61. Bull's Stamina is not used for sex.
62. A Holy Avenger will not be referred to as "The Master Sword"
63. It is wrong to tell the Paladin he has to find three magic pendants first.
64. Karrnath is a vaguely Transylvania like land. It is not Canada.
65. It is wrong to replace it's flag with the maple leaf.
66. It is wrong to introduce Hockey to become the national sport.
67. It is wrong to import a large number of Aundairians whom hate it there in the middle of the country.
68. It is wrong...okay FINE, its Canada now. Are you happy?
69. You did all of this to recruit the shifter from Karrnath to be wolverine didn't you?
70. It is wrong telling people that you are having sex with Spiderman's girlfriend.
71. ...even if its true.
72. You are not Spiderman.
73. Even if you have Spider Climb and Web in your spell book....
74. And Jump and Lion's Strength
75. And sell pictures of yourself in a bright costume to the Sharn Inquisitor.
76. It is wrong to tell Dwarves racial slurs.
77. ....even about elves.
78. Even if they started it.
79. Half-Elves do not get all the sexiness of elves and all the large 'good parts' of humans.
80. It is wrong to tell women this just to get them to bed you.
81. It is wrong to have a Lich kidnap Boranal's daughter just because she's named Zelda.
82. ....you slept with her anyway! She's the biggest **** in the kingdom!
83. Smoking "smokeweed" does NOT make me see into the Astral Plane, and it is wrong to tell the crew it does.
84. There is no secret Aurrum Handshake.
85. If there was, it wouldn't be the Pimp Slap.
86. I am not a Drow.
87. It is wrong to use "Change Self" to be a Drow.
88. It is wrong to be a Drow solely to say "Oh, it's because I'm A BLACK man isn't it?"
89. You already use that for being a half-elf.
90. The Skill "Performance" does not include "Performance (sex)
91. Nor can you max it out at every level.
92. You cannot take the Craft Skill "Craft (Ultimate Whoopass Stick)"
93. I will not rub the shifter's belly to see if her leg will twitch.
94. Valenar is not to be referred to as "Rohan"
95. Nor is Aerenal to be called Mordor.
96. I will not direct the crew to Sarlona to pick up hot Asian girls.
97. I did not learn the Jedi arts from a deformed green gnome named Yoda.
98. Nor did I learn them from Obi Wan.
99. The Jedi Mind trick is not to be used for Sex....and I don't know where you learned that.
100. The mythical land of Amazons is not one that I'm going to visit.
101. Summon Succubus is not your favorite spell.
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer

08-21-06, 08:35 AM		In his room in the Forgooten freadom Chanse shapes new melds, preparing for the hunt.
Enigma helm. Check.
Snipers gloves. Check
Incarnate avatar. Check
Elf bane Crossbow bolts, 6 clips. Check.
Enough B-plans for a hive. Check
Sardonic quips to use while killing the bad guys with style. Check.

IHH 'He is steathyest who they do not suspet, is swiftest who does not plan, is deadlyest who may strike a killing blow from the face of a freind. Fear is my vangard, paranoia my battlefeld, death my comerse.' his form shifts, warps, mirrors one of the riven he has seen wandering the ship. He produces a gatote from a poket, tests the tension, the wire sings. he smiles and conseals it deftly. then smothers his soul melds beneath a deep cape, hiding his weaposns amid its folds. It was time.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-21-06, 09:22 AM		34. There is no such THING as Power Word Orgasm.
Silver: That's what you think. :devil:
61. Bull's Stamina is not used for sex.
Silver: The spell is bear's endurance, and, trust me, bears are quite "long winded".
79. Half-Elves do not get all the sexiness of elves and all the large 'good parts' of humans.
Silver: Humans don't have any good parts. It's all elves. I have two words for you: Orlando Bloom.
99. The Jedi Mind trick is not to be used for Sex....and I don't know where you learned that.
Silver: :blush: (ihh: They're on to me.)
cypher_zero

08-21-06, 09:25 AM		OOC: Has it occured to anyone else that the list of rules only serves as rules to break?
.
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-21-06, 09:45 AM		OOC: Has it occured to anyone else that the list of rules only serves as rules to break?
.
OOC: Yes. That's what makes it fun.
urial angel of death

08-21-06, 09:59 AM		Volrath: Uncle I have a moral question for you.

Kanatash: Ask away.

Volrath: Is it wrong to lowwer someone's saving throws as much as possible, then spike their food, drink, clothing, bed, horse, walls, and air around them with love potion, and then send a fourth generation genestealer to seduce them?

Kanatash: That depends who it is.

Volrath: The new captain and Tormos.

Kanatash: I believe that is forgivable.

OOC: For those of you that don't know genestealers are creatures that mate in a way very similar to red slaadi. Fourth generation and later they look like humans.
rwarner3701

08-23-06, 09:56 PM		Beginning to repost stuff the new thread is missing

102. Touch Serene and you will suffer a fate so much worse than death bunny will start retching.
103. It starts with castration.

Bunny: Must………resist……urge……to……control……Tormos 's………mind…… :tantrum: (ihh: :drool: Mustlearnnewmethodofdeaththatiscompeltel ydisguisting!)

104. It also ends with castration

105. Who said he'd be allowed to die?

Bunny: I reassert my objection to violence without-out-death under the Rules of the Universe blah blah blah…………:teach:

OOC: Jarlot retired?! :eek: :weep: :raincloud

IC:

Silver: How do you feel?

Terra: Better than I thought I would.

Cradled in Terra's arms is a baby girl.

Lisa: Ten hours. You must be exhausted. Is there anything I can get you?

Terra: *shakes her head* No, I'm...just gonna take a nap for a bit...

She drifts off to sleep as Lisa takes the baby in her arms. The little one stirs slightly, but does not wake up.

Silver: She's simply adorable. She looks just like her mother.

Lisa: Which one? ;)

Silver: Terra. :P Any ideas on how to avoid confusion?

Lisa: No. We figure it'll work itself out.

Silver: Do you have a name picked out?

Lisa: *nods* Elina.

Volrath: Behold uncle phase to.

Volrath makes an over exagerated gesture to a strange mindflayer-like creature. It has the basic body structure of a mindflayer, but is covered in chitinous plates, has wicked clawed fingers, and two extra arms one off each shoulder. In place of forearms or hands the extra arms each end in a single giant scythe shaped claw.

Kanatash: I take it that this is part of phase two.

Volrath: Yes, it is a Tyranid Lictor. They specialize in striking from the shadows. Hopefully its stealth will divert any blame from us. That is assuming you can block the seer from psionically detecting our actions.

Kanatash: I'll do my best. What is the creature's name.

Volrath: Hannibal.

OOC: I'm going to pun hell for this... Oooo there's the inevitable right on que.

13: You mean small, fat, and ug—

WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM WHAM!!!!!!!!

13 (warily rasing arm from the hole): And yet this is still not any worse than an ice cream headache!

Silver: Quick save.

Caralot (tossing away stone column): Eh, you collect samples from dangerous creatures, you learn to move quickly.

Terra & Lisa: :eek: How did you get in here?!

OOcat: :embarrass I exist only to serve.

Caralot: Meaning I threatened to put his brain on DBZ for a week.

OOcat: *shudder* So little plot…

Chanse: "Uhhh Volrath, do you realy think using the Tyranids is such a good idea? your giving the Redshirts ideas."
Volrath "How do you mean?"
Chanse points to a shuffling red shirt with a face like a cephlapod threesome and a half grown claw emerging from his sholder.
Zerg redshirt "I am wreched, but I am strong."
Chanse "Not that that kina thing bothers me normaly, but between the temptation to shoot them just for the fire works, and the fact that if any of them get near Pholi this ships going to be blown to the rings of syberys in about a million pices they're more a threat than the Riven."

Lisa: Shoo.

13 & OOcat: :weep:

Lisa: You people have no respect. She just had a baby, for crying out loud!

Terra: You know, since Caralot's here, you could give her that...

Caralot: What's that?

Lisa: We got you something.

Caralot: Really? :D

Lisa: Yeah. We found it on our travels. It struck us as something you'd like.

Leading the group out, she picks up a bag of holding and hands it to Caralot.

Bag: *kupo*

Caralot: Did this bag just...kupo? :confused:

Lisa: Open it.

From the bag pops a small creature covered in white fur. A large red pom hangs from it's head, and a pair of bat wings sprout from it's back.

Creature: Kupo?

Caralot: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!! :D *grabs the creature*

Creature: KUPO-PO!?!?!?!?!

Caralot: *deathgrip* It's so cute!!!!! What's it called?!

Lisa: It's called a "moogle (http://www.finalfantasytr.com/ffcc/moogle.jpg)". They're fairy-like creatures. They seem to be adept at delivering mail and "saving progress", whatever that means.

Moogle: KUPOOOOOOO!!!!! :weep:

OOC: I'll let you do the response if you want. I know you don't play Final Fantasy, but these things just seem too perfect for Caralot to not give her one. They can speak common, this one was just too freaked out. Though, all their sentences MUST end in "kupo".

OORampant - They also have a remarkable ability to transmute useful items out of random junk, and the capacity to adapt to most game worlds. Now come along you lot.

Drags OOCat, Caralot, Silver, and 13 out of the room.
----------------------------------------

Satnak (holding an incarnate axe) - Look Serene its court day so, this is your last chance to back out.

Serene - Silly girl, I'm never going to back out on you. (grabs Satnak's hand) I'm sticking with you come hell or high water.

At that momet a water mein breaks and floods the deck.

Satnak (carrying serene) - poor choice of words.

Serene - this in no way my fault

Satnak - no, but you gotta be careful about sayings

Serene - about this court thing?

Satnak - thats what the disc in my bag is for

Satnak carries Serene into a previously non-existant door. In side the crew is gathered as well as Ketty, Tirmek, and Disarray. On the other side sit Tormos, LOrd Sirinon, and the Riven.

Lord Sirinon - step forward Satnak d'Borisheel, the Sirinon have come to complete the contract your grandfather made with the Tourn, by right of subsumation.

Satnak - And I contest this claim to my hand.

Ketty - As head of our household I support this rejection.

Tormos - As the affected member of the claimant clan I also reject this. Duty is one thing, Survival is another.

Lord Sirinon - Coward! (turns to satnak) PResent scales.

Satnak places a disc marked with a carving of a heard behind crossed rapiers, on the floor. Tormos Places a similar disk Marked with 5 shattered runes. The two begin to levitate and begin spinning.

Lord Tormos - The contract is clear, as the Tourn no longer exist to claim it we have subsumed it as is our right as the Sirinon.

The sirinon disc speeds up.

Satnak - A second hand contract signed barely a day after my birth, protested by both parents. Before the purges wracked our clans.

The Borisheel disc catches up.

Tormos - The borisheel lack an heir and your present mate cannot provide one.

The Sirinon discs increases speed dramatically.

Satnak - Tirmek d'Tharmis son of Ketty d'Tharmis heir to the Rose can inherit the Gaurded Heart if need be.

The Sirinon Disc Slows and the Borisheel begins to accelerate.

Lord Sirinon - A half-Rakshasa, who is also in line for the Rose as well.

The Borisheel disc loses speed, but the Sirinon disk does not accelerate.
--------------
OOC: Anybody can chime in, and offer arguments to either side. I'll post the last part of this some time tomorrow.
rwarner3701

08-23-06, 10:02 PM		More Reposting

OOC: Yes, alas Good Ki...err Captain Jarlot has retired for the time because...well...I feel like it.

IC:

Rose: Greetings, Gentlebeings, I am Rose Cyrus Jarlot Stephenson Sanchez Galan the Third. I am going to be your new Captain.

Redshirt: Rose is a girl's name.

*Rose raises crossbow and shoots him in the head*

Rose: That was self-defense, everyone saw that. I was afraid for my life.

Marish: What happened to Jarlot?

Rose: The answer lies in that he got everything he ever wanted. Specifically to get off this ship.

Marish: *sniffle*

Rose: Don't really he'll be back.

Marish: Really?

Rose: No, not really.

Doog: Well as first mate, I think I should be Captain.

Rose: Do you know how to keep an idiot waiting?

Doog: No.

Rose: I'll tell you later. In any case, its my determination there's just not NEARLY enough pirating going onboard this ship. Therefore, I've created this chart.

*A pie chart shows 'Not Pirating' at 98% and 'Pirating' at 2%*

Rose: This should change.

Marish: How do you even know what sort of activity is in the 98%? We could be doing very good.

Rose: Yes but I don't care since I'm getting a percentage.

Doog: How much?

Rose: How ever much time we're not pirating.

Doog: Sounds fair.

Rose: So barring the attempt to save a Princess so I can get lucky with royalty, I'm going to do my diligent best to increase the ambient evil onboard this ship.

Andrea: I'm all for that.

Rose: Spiffy, now I'm going to pose majestically and swing away.

*cuts a rope and does so*

Marish: Why didn't he just walk away?

Andrea: I have a bad feeling the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

More Rules the Captain isn't Allowed to Break

106. Change Self to Orlando Bloom is not permitted.
107. I am not Will Turner's younger, hipper, cooler twin brother.
108. Just because I resemble Leogolas doesn't mean I get to do the arrow tricks from Lord of the Rings.
109. Dwarf Tossing is not the national sport of Mror Holds.
110. Or Valenar.
111. The Talenta Planes did not used to be a theme park before they started tampering with the laws of God.
112. It is wrong to get Talenta Planes halflings to go "YABBA DABBA DOO!"
113. Fred Flinston is NOT a Talenta Planes' halfling.
114. Gnomes are not to be referred to as "like Dwarves except they suck."
115. I am forbidden from wearing T-shirts that say "Elminster could kick this settings ass by himself."
116. Or "Mordenkaine"
117. Or "Strahd."
118. The Lady of Pain is permissable.
119. I do not have the Crotch of Vecna attached to me.
120. Besides, would you really WANT it?
121. Nor do I have the WANG of Vecna.
122. My wang is not +5
123. nor does it have the power of Striking.
124. or Dancing.
125. My wang is not magical.
126. It is wrong to tell the crew that it is.
127. You as a bard are forbidden from using "influence reactions" to get women.
128. You cannot reply "WHAT GOOD IS IT THEN!?"
129. Bard is not Celtic for Ninja.
130. I do not have Ninja powers.
131. Lisa is in a committed and monogamous relationship, it is wrong to place bets on when she'll end up drunk in bed with Michael.
132. Especially since it gives Michael hope.
133. It is wrong to use Ventriloquism to pretend to be Kanatash's demonic masters.
134. ...ESPECIALLY if you use it to make him do ridiculous things.
135. I am not Exalted, it is wrong to tell people that I am.
136. Vow of Poverty does not make exception for "booty" in various exceptions of the word.
137. I am not a Cleric of BlowShavitup
138. I am not allowed to proclaim myself a deity.
139. If I did, I couldn't grant spells.
140. The Rod of Seven Parts does not have my wang as part of it.
141. Fireball is not a response to tax collectors.
142. A Helm of Opposite Alignment should not be kept to shove on good people that annoy you so that you can kill them without guilt.
143. In a duel of swords or pistols, you do not get to answer "I'll take the pistols. You take the swords."
144. I do not have the Prestige class of "World's Greatest Lover"
145. Rubbing the Shifter against the floor is not a material component for Shocking Grasp
146. The fact I'm not your real Uncle doesn't permit you to date Jaela.
147. Even if she is legal now.
148. Canons are not party favors.
149. "I'm going to smoke me some b****" is not a proper response to any question about your profession.
150. Being a member of the King's Citadel doesn't allow me to ask women to lower their tops for inspection.
151. YOU'RE NOT A MEMBER OF THE KING'S CITADEL!
152. it is wrong to insert a philater of love into Michael's drink so he's open to the possibilities of Doog.
153. Stop asking Andrea about sex magic!
154. Terra is not interested in telling you about Druidic Fertility rights.
155. ....its for your own safety you obey 154.
156. I do not possess "crossbow time"
157. A black coat, shades, and black pants are not the standard D&D fighter wear.
158. It is wrong to sing "Kung Fu Fighting" whenever Bruce Ki enters the room.
159. Payday is never listed as "Tomorrow" as an excuse for the day never to arrive.
160. Elves are not to be described as "oversexed vegetarian *ussies"
161. Even if it's true.
162. You do not have the right to declare the first mate's quarters the place for your harem.
163. you do not have "nos prima nocte" with female crew.
164. The guilotine is not the preferred punishment for disobediance.
165. It is wrong to hire a changeling dominator for administering the lash.
166. The Aurrum are not lead by Sebastian Shaw and Emma Frost.
167. The Forgotten freedom's crew are not the X-men.
168. The Changeling girl is not to be referred to as Mystique.
169. Stupid is not Magneto.
170. Even if you Magnetize him.
171. "I was drunk" is not an excuse for anything.
172. Ketler is not so geeky as to never be able to know what a girl naked looks like...
173. There's the internet for that.
174. It is wrong to use crew to practice your archery.
175. Even if you pretend you intend to hit the apple on their heads.
176. I am not Robin Hood.
177. He allegedly gives to the poor.
178. Yes, I don't get that either.
179. Frankly, the whole tights thing scares me too.
180. Friar Tuck is not a role model for a well managed clergyman.
181. The Silver Flame is not powered by propane.
182. It is wrong to test this.
183. Kennedy is not buried under the Silver Flame
184. It is wrong to tell Lisa that it is.
185. It is wrong to add books to the Silver Flame canon when Jaela is not looking.
186. It is wrong to infect the crew with Lycanthropy just to make a dogsledding team.
187. Chun li is not a crew member.
188. Even if you dress up Marish.
189. The Lhazaar Principalities are not going to be invaded by Breland for oil.
190. I will not ask King Kaius if he's Tzimisce or Ventrue.
191. I will not plead mind control whenever I do something despicable.
192. I will not use Spectral hand THAT way.
193. Magic is not to be abused for sexual purposes in ANY way.
195. The Book of Erotic Fantasy is NOT official D&D supplemental material.
196. NOR are my stats in there.
197. Nor will they be in there for the 3.5 edition!
198. Paladins do not only have "vanilla" sex.
199. It is wrong to tell the crew this.
200. Bard is not Aundair for BADASS.
201. Aundair do not have a word for that.
202. I will not attempt to pass off Marish as a fair maiden to trade for the Dragon's treasure.
203. Trust me, she's not been a maiden for a good long time.
204. There is no such thing as a Were-Half elf nor am I one.
205. Eberron does not need to trade the Daughters of Sora Kell for the Seven Sisters.
206. There is not a feat called "Always win"

OOC: Don't worry, I know what Moogles are. I've played Final Fantasy Tactics Advance.
IC:

Originally Posted by rampant

Tormos - The borisheel lack an heir and your present mate cannot provide one.

"OBJECTION!"

Everyone stares as they wait for someone to dramatically storm in the room. So none of notices when Caralot swings down swashbucklingly from the ceiling.

Caralot: (looks around) :ahem: (ihh: so maybe taking up the Jarlot-ness duties won't be that easy)

Everyone turns to look at Caralot, who is now flanked by Saberiel holding Lady, and some tall human guy in a long coat with white hair.

Lord Sirinon: Well? Who are you and what objection can you pose to that statement?

Caralot: I am Caralot, Master Bloodweaver of the Wild Magic, Keeper of the Essence of the Black Water, and Most Supremely High Priest-Type Babe of the Fourth Dragon Thyrs. I object because it is chaotically possible for two females to "an heir", as your son put it, together.

Lord Sirinon: And you have proof of this?

Tormos: :confused: And what does "chaotically" mean

Caralot: Under most normal circumstances two females that reproduce sexually cannot couple adiquately to exchange the genes necessary to form an embryo—

Lord Sirinon: :zzz:

Caralot: *sigh* :nonono: It's not "physically" possible under normal procedure.

Caralot gestures to Saberiel and her baby.

Caralot: But with enough magic, it can be done. This child was concieved between a female astral deva and this succubus.

Caralot gestures, and Jaela Jarlot walks up with some image crystals.

Caralot (taking a crystal): And I have the visual records to prove it.

The crew can't see the image which Caralot projects into the minds of Lord Sirinon and Tormos.

Tormos: :gah:

Lord Sirinon: Hmmm, you make an interesting point. But this is only one example.

Caralot (taking another Crystal, this one very new): :D Not done yet.

Tormos: My brain, my sweet useless brain!

Lord Sirinon: Who are these two?

Caralot: Members of the crew. Terra and Lisa. I can have Igor get their files if you want.

Lord Sirinon: No, no. I think I've seen enough.

Caralot: Thank you for your time.

Caralot and her entourage step back. Caralot tries to duplicate Rose's exit, but instead only succeeds in dropping a chandeleir on Tormos.

Caralot: Whoops. :embarrass

OOC: I'll leave it up to you, Rampant, whether this has any effect.

Volrath: Infested redshirt's aren't so bad. *poke*

An infested redshirt expodes and Volrath regenerates.

Volrath: Next! *pokes a group of infested redshirts*

*Huge Explosion*

Volrath: This is so fun.

-----

At the courts Kanatash stands up to speak.

Kanatash: With some assistance Satnak and her current mate are perfectly capable of producing a child. Myself, my fiance, my nephew, many others of my relatives, and the ships druid Terra could provide such assistance.

*Rose walks in wearing a British barrister's outfit*

Rose: I object!

Lord Sirron: On what grounds?

Rose: Upon this shiny and newly swabbed floor!

Ishmael Junior: It took a flame thrower to clean off the urine, spittle, grease, grime, mud, fungus, and tooth decay that I don't even know HOW got there.

Rose: Good show. In any case, I intend to show that it is NOT possible for two women to have children!

Satnak: That's not possible because it clearly IS possible.

Rose: My friend if women discover that there's no benefit to guys, they'll be no stopping this trend. While pleasant to watch there's just no reason to date men.

Terra: I'll agree on that.

Rose: And frankly, I happen to agree and don't intend to take up on it.

Satnak: Actually sexual attraction is biological and not a c...

Rose: My first order is of course a nicely buttered lobster bisque with brocolli to the side and a fine chebleese.

Satnak: That's an old joke.

Rose: Yes, but a free meal is a free meal.

Satnak: You'd sell your dignity for a free meal?

Rose: It's a bargain. My first order is that Succubi can shapeshift as can angels, thus subverting the process. See Joey vs. Joey in the changeling divorce case where one had the first child as the father and vice versa.

Terra: How could you do this to us?

Rose: It's hardly meant to be a bad deed my dear but while I don't dispute the wonderful magic, I must inform you that LISA WAS ALREADY MARRIED AT THE TIME OF HER WEDDING TO TERRA!

Lisa: What!?

Rose: I'm afraid my dear you have forgotten something very important.

Lisa: I don't...

Rose: While Thrane is a theocracy, it was part of Page 37 of the Treaty of Thronehold that the monarchy continued to be recognized and furthermore that the heir to the throne of Thrane would marry the heir of another nation and to solidify it, even though you were a child at the time. The ceremony was carried out!

Lisa: GASP!

Rose: The Last War will thus resume unless it is so honored. As for the issue of childbirth, well that obviously works. Thank you.

*Swings away again*

Rose: Oh and you're a wonderful couple. Just felt the need to let you KNOWwwwww!

If someone wants to continue start at 3734
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:49 PM		Satnak: :mad: What is with all the alternates?! *banishes the alt-Terra and Lisa to the puppet dimension* Is that better than killing them?

Serene: Barely.

Tormos: (i.h.h.) There ARE things worse than death...

OOC: As you'll find as you catch up, they're still not on the ship. Once this thing with the Riven is done, THEN they'll be back.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:51 PM		Originally posted by Charles Phipps:

Rose: I'm sorry mister Ryu but that's not acceptable.

Kaiser Ryu: What the...

Rose: Hello. I'm blessed with the power of 4th wall breaking.

Kaiser Ryu: How did I...

Rose: Suffice to say my friend, I have the power to BEND LOGIC OF TIME AND SPACE. Effectively, it could be that Lisa and Terra are HERE at a latter point in time and space. Yes, TIME TRAVEL is the only thing we haven't introduced until this point to make it more complex. BWHAHAHAHA. It also allows people to interact even if they aren't in one particular seen or not.

Kaiser Ryu: Uhh.

*is suddenly back in his room*

Rose: And to any of you OTHER players, MUHAHAHAHA, I've got my eye on you.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:52 PM		OOKaizer: :mad: I liked Jarlot better anyway. Lousy girly-named Bard...

Rose: I heard that!
----------
Silver holds Elina as Terra holds another little girl.

Silver: What are you calling her?

Terra: Sarah.

Silver: Seems like the last part of Lisa's pregnancy went by really fast...

Terra: Our Entity said something came up, so he had to accelerate our timeline a bit.

Silver: Oh, that. Yeah. I'm not sure how much you'll like that little twist. I can only see it resulting in utter mayhem, wacky twists, and melodramatic overacting.

Terra: I get the feeling that I may have to kill something in an extremely violent way...

Silver: Let's just say that if things go badly, Bunny will be extremely happy.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:53 PM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

Volrath: The Last War starting again! :D Woohoo!

Chanse: Whay are you so happy about the Last War resarting.

Volrath: It will give my new "children" a chance to feed.

Chanse: Children?

Volrath: My aberrations specifically the tyranids.

Chanse: I see.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:54 PM		Originally posted by Crystalforged:

Kanatash: (sweeping up Caralot in his arms and kissing her) My dear why didn't mention you were back? You've been gone for so long and since you've left the only inteligent conversation I've had has been with my entity. Not that that's particularly inteligent conversation.

OOCrystalforged: :rolleyes:

Kanatash: Ah well, after the proceeding perhaps we can do some "catching up." (chuckle) For now however I also have something for the record. If Tormos were to actually win and attempt to take Satnak away most of the crew, myself most definitely included, would hunt him down and kill him in a most unpleasent manner. Thereby leaving Sirinon without an heir without an heir since the crew would likely eliminate him before an heir could be concieved.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:55 PM		Originally posted by Charles Phipps:

Jarlot: Well I'm not DEAD or anything.

Rose: Yes, you'll be stone cold dead in a minute.

Jarlot: No, I'm fine really.

Rose: Lost at sea, NEVER to return.

Jarlot: I'm right here.

Rose: This is an un-Jarlot. It has ceased to be!

Jarlot: Gawd Damn you Nephew!

*Rose hits Jarlot with a blackjack*

Jarlot: HELLO, Epic Level. That only does 1d4 damage!

Rose: Uhhh...they're mocking you on your blog!

Jarlot: WHAT! THOSE SON OF A...

*runs off to start flaming them and will likely be at it for hours*

Rose: Between that and World of Warcraft, he should be fine.

***

*Mystery Science Theatre team*

Crow: It's like Megatron and Starscream all over again.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:56 PM		Originally posted by rampant:

OOC: Last minute cancellation. I had even gotten new shoes for that the jerks. So yeah time table gets accelerated.
--------------------------------

Following Caralot's announcement and evidence, the sirinon discs slows somewhat and the Borisheel surges foward and starts a faint buzzing. After Rose has Spoken... the Sirinon disc begins shaking and roaming slowly about hile maintaining a slight increase in speed.

Lord Sirinon - I've never seen it do that before. :confused:

After kanatash.

Satnak - Thats assuming you don't let your gaurd down the moment you do I'd kill you both. :D

The Sirinon disc Slows somewhat but begins circling the Borisheel disc.

Lord Sirinon - I'm pretty sure it shouldn't do that. Just in case.

A quick disintigrate spell carves out a depression into which both discs sink. maintaining about 6 inches of clearance above the floor.

Lord Sirinon - Anyway,...

Satnak - WAIT A MINUTE! this is turning into a bey batlle.

Tormos - So I'm not the only Off-world comic collector in the room.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:57 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw:

Kanatash: Ah well, after the proceeding perhaps we can do some "catching up." (chuckle)
Caralot: Sorry love, don't have time. I have to go round up my carnivorous waffle irons. And unfortunately now that I'm back I'm going to have to reveal the Big Secret to Lisa.

OOcat: :rolleyes: Not that it's going to be that spectacular.
****poof*****
Silver: You guys back again so soon?

Caralot: No time for—EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! :D She is sooooooo cUUUUUUUUte!

The guy with white hair shoves his fingers into his ears.

Guy: Not do that! Too much in hearing.

Caralot: Oh, sorry Weylin.

Lisa: (looks at Weylin suspiciously)

Terra: Okay, who's this guy?

Caralot: This is Weylin. (looks seriously at Lisa) He's your half-brother…

Lisa: :bored: Considering how many weird relatives have come out of the woodwork, that isn't a surprise.

Caralot:…on your father's side…

Lisa: :mad: No-good self-obsessed jerk, I think that's been covered.

Caralot:…he's a half-werewolf, you see…

Lisa: I've strayed so far from the teachings of the Purist idiots that that doesn't bother me. (hands Elina to Caralot, then embraces her brother) Welcome to the family.

Caralot: Er, wait, I wasn't talking about your brother at that point……got ahead of myself.

Lisa: (replays the conversation) You were talking about my— :eek:

OOC: The outcome of this little revelation is up to you, Kaizer, but I just couldn't get any *umph* with my original idea. :devil:
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 10:58 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero:

Terrek strides forth from the audience.

Terrek: I would also like to offer my objection. My daughter is a more than suitable mate to continue the Borisheel being of both innate power and Royal birth. (Turns to Tormos) You sir called her a peasant. She is in fact Princess of my realm and sole heir to my throne. Such a joining would be far more beneficial to the Borisheel line than what you are attempting to enact. (Spreads arms to address all assembled) Consider this: My daughter and her betrothed have developed a relationship of mutual love and understanding. This, by mere coincidence alone, would be a powerful joining of two families uniting them as one. While I am not one inclined to believe in fate, such a better match, one forged of love and beneficial in such a matter should not be overlooked. That is all for now (Returns to his seat.)
.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:00 PM		Originally posted by Charles Phipps:

Rose *dressed now in lawyer robes* I point out that there is also some new rules to regards to the crew as well. FOR THE AUTHORS.

Judge Jarlot: What praytell are these rules.

Rose: Number one, just because Lisa is possibly the only endearing character does not allow one to randomly introduce new relatives.

Charles Phipps: HEY! Are you setting rules for me!

Rose: Yes, Kaiser Ryu gave me a five spot to lower his work load.

Judge Jarlot: Me too. The sentence is death!

Charles Phipps: GAH!

Judge Jarlot: To be carried out in one hundred years, next rule!

Rose: Also, its required of every man to not randomly introduce new plots for other people's characters.

Charles Phipps: I'm feeling a bit picked on.

Judge Jarlot: Lock him up with the Balrog in the Drunk Tank then.

Charles Phipps: NOooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:01 PM		Terra: So, you're saying that our kids are what could amount to be the most bizzare collection of racial lineages not created by you?

Caralot: More or less.

Waylin: I'm a bit out of the loop. What do you mean?

Lisa: I think we'd better let our Entity explain this bit of confusion.

OOKaizer: :D Ooooo, goody! I get to show off!

Terra & Lisa: :rolleyes:

OOKaizer: Ok. With everything that has happened, Terra is no longer just an Elf. The closest racial descriptors I could come up with for her are Elf/Half-Fiend (variant)/Half-Celestial (variant) hybrid. With this little twist, that makes Elina and Sarah Half-Elf/Eighth-Werewolf/Half-Fiend (variant)/Half-Celestial (variant).

Caralot: Why didn't you dilute the Half-Fiend & Half-Celestial lineage?

OOKaizer: Terra's lineage is highly unorthodox. She didn't directly decend from Fiends or Celestials, so their effect on further generations is uncertain.

Terra: Meaning you just haven't decided yet.

OOKaizer: :mad:

Lisa: So that would make me...a fourth werewolf?

OOKaizer: Yep. I happen to think it works rather well.

Lisa: You know, after the initial shock, I'm surprisingly ok with this.

Terra: I'm not surprised. You're married to, and just had children with, another woman. Your father is the ***hole leader of the very Church you hope to free from corruption. Your mother is the deposed Queen of Thrane. According to this guy *points at OOKaizer*, you're also married to some as-of-yet unnamed member of another Royal house against your will, who I may or may not have to smite at some point. You have not one, but TWO twin sisters you had no prior knowledge of. And last but not least, you're a PALADIN living on a PIRATE SHIP. A stranger to oddity is something you most definitely are not.

Caralot: *staring at the kids* Such unique physiology...I MUST HAVE IT! :drool:

OOKaizer: Not now. Wait until they're older, then we'll talk.

Caralot: :weep: :allalone:
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:03 PM		Originally posted by rampant:

Lord Sirinon - Show me proof of this realm.

Terrek - Ok

A portal opens below

Lord Sirinon - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

3 minutes later a portal opens above the floor

Lord Sirinon (wearing a funny hat) - OOF! ok ok she's a princess.

Rose - In that case I must....

Fluffy - MeOOOOOW (Dragon Streamer)

A coiling column of ice and fire silences the unruly bard.

Fluffy - (to the Sirinon) Meow Meowow Memeow (I don't like serene, I don't like her near my mommy,...but she makes mommy smile, you make mommy sad, go away)

The Borisheel disc speeds up.

Tormos - :twitch: ok i love life enough to know I don't want to win this, but come on its a cat, and an ugly one at that.

Fluffy - Meow (of course my question is who decided you were allowed to talk)

Tormos - :twitch: Is it mocking I can't tell.

Slaypaw - Yes he's mocking you, now sit down you whiny little brat.

Lord Sirinon - Fine then what of your duty to the decimated clans? this alliance give them the courage to rise once more as a unified people, once more under the Flag of the Sirinon.

The sirinon disc speeds up immensly and begins boincing around the pit.

Satnak - Clans that ran and fled While mine fought, clans that left me and my sister to wander a hostile eberron on our own, clans that would remember us only when it fits their needs.

The Borisheel disc begins spinning sorapidly as to create a medium sized whirlwind that draws in the Sirinon Disc.

Lord Sirinon - Ok that really shouldn't happen.

Satnak - What shouldn't? your losing? :D

Lord Sirinon - No, not that you should be, but i mean the bouncing and clanging.

Liam - I believe that is a result of the wiersan energy created here. Satnak's disc has had time to adjust, while your has not.

Tormos - Everyone get back from the pit.

Rose/Lord Sirinon/Admiral Jarlot Sr. - Why? (stick their heads in for a better look)

FOOOOOOM

Rose/Lord Sirinon/Admiral Jarlot Sr. - (with soot stained faces and blown away hair) OH!

Tormos - Aw Bloody Khyber their still going at it.

The discs are whirling and sparking ramming up against each other, the Borisheel disc seems to be doing better than the unsteady Sirinon.

Lord Sirinon - I didn't want to have to do this, but... I challenge Princess Serene's suitability on basis of her personal power. Lets see that pampered child's "Inate Power".

The discs cease their conflict. Maintaining rotation and speed warily circling.

Satnak - NO you don-

Lord Sirinon - Riven Bind Her.

The riven Grab Satnak and merge into her body, their broken golden sigils remain pressed against her held by the riven just beneath.

Tormos - FAther no I won't...

LOrd Sirinon - The challenge has been made You will fight with all your strength.

Tormos - Yes ( at least I can't use the riven if they are binding Satnak, unfortunatly I can't see a possibility that offers them a chance :( )

Terrek - What do you mean by this? :mad:

Lord Sirinon - Simple your daughter vs. my son one on one. Winner is Wed to Satnak in the eyes of the clans.

Terrek - You can't just (charges foward)

Terrek bounces off the Discs as they rise from the pits and project a force wall around Serene and Tormos that expands to give them ample room to fight. Squishing a few redshirts in the process.

Liam - Yep the Borisheel disc has adapted to this ship.

Terrek - She is unarmed, Satnak do someth- :confused:

Satnak is frozen, completely and utterly fixed.

Terrek - Impossible you lack such strength

Lord Sirinon - I do, but the collective power of the Riven is unlimited.

Inside the Ring

Serene - Is this really what I must do to save her? :(

Tormos - Yes, I'm sorry, but I must ask you to surrender. I see no possibility for you to win. :(

Serene - NEVER! :weep: I PROMISED HER. I promised never to abandon her like that. If I must Fight to save her, THEN I WILL.

Serene draws the Gaurded Heart and Points it straight at Tormos.

Serene - Back down before I have to use this. :(

Tormos - (looks at his father) ... I cannot.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:04 PM		Originally posted by Crystalforged:

Kanatash: (sitting on the side of the ring eating popcorn) Damn, I don't know who to cheer for here. I really don't want anything bad to happen so Serene and I certainly don't want Tormos to win but on the other tentacle if Tormos DOESN'T win then my chances of inflicting my horrifying revenge for his mild slight go down exponentially.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:07 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero:

OOC: :w00t: This officially rocks! I'm almost bouncing in my chair! Hope you don't mind that I took over for just a tad.

IC:

Serene stands with the guarded heart drawn pointing at Tormos. He stands with his eyes downcast slightly, almost in shame of what he as been forced into as he draws his own weapon.

Serene: Then I'm sorry that it's come to this.

Serene turns her head without lowering the sword to look at Satnak, helplessly bound by the Riven. A tears forms in her eyes as Serene speaks; quickly she wipes it away.

Serene: Satnak, I...I'm sorry you have to see this.

Serene turns her head back to Tormos and steeles her features. Her form begins to tremble slightly and she raises her empty hand. All five fingers become elongated and slowly morph into wicked mithral blades. Her wings burst forth from her back, appearing as so many bladed feathers, similar to her father's (see Terrek's Wiki). Along her forearms, short mithral spikes push out and mithral plating pops through her skin. Her tail enlongates and takes on a silver appearance, ending in dual blades and accented with spikes running up the tail and along the length of her spine. As she transforms, the clothes shred from her body, leaving her clothed in only the remnants of a skirt, mithral plating having dominated her chest and torso area. (*note* In my head I'm thinking it'd look kinda chitnous, but smooth and silvery, like how 'Nids look, but metalic). Finally her face takes on an armored appearance as well with mithral pointing through on her cheekbones, forehead, chin and prominent places of her face. She reaches back to her long dark hair and pulls it into a high ponytail. She lowers her now armored, bladed hand and looks at Tormos with a piercing galre. White light envelopes her body and shines off the metal that has burst through, as though from nowhere.

Serene: Do you still wish to fight?

------

Terrek strides over to Lord Sirinon and leans his face in close, staring at the other man eye to eye with bitter hatred.

Terrek: Hear me Sirinon and hear me well: I will make you pay for forcing my daughter into this; all the more so if she loses. It may not come immediately, but do not be surprised by my retribution when it comes. It will be most painful.

Terrek glares at him for a moment more then turns and walks a short distance away, taking a place where he will have a clear view of the battle to come. He nods his head for a moment and places two fingers to his brow.

Terrek: (Telepathically to Serene) Daughter... Remember all that I have taught you. You can best him. ... And always know that you are my daughter and no matter what happens, I love you.

.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:08 PM		Originally posted by Charles Phipps:

ketler: You know, all the pretty girls on this ship are in monogamous and committed relationships.

Rose: NOooooooooooooooooooooooo (http://darthno.ytmnd.com/)
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:08 PM		Originally posted by rampant:

NJ26 - Hello, I'm standing right here, I just hate you.

Mendova - Excuse me, little man.

Marish - I've never been more insulted, monogamus Hmph.

Chalky - and Saberiel is single, but you might wanna wait a while. Then there is the chick with the arms. Lucky used to be a guy, and Jingo the Shade is availiable if a little hard to find.

Ketler - Then why...

NJ26 - We all just hate you.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:10 PM		Originally posted by LugWrench:

Devon: Whats 'monogamous' mean?

Pholly: Oh, great. A new captain in charge. Just when Jarlot gets used to shelling out for the repairs.

Mickey: Ah, I wouldnt worry too much about it. I mean, at some point you two will start to get along.

Hoybee: Well, with luck, the captain will get some kind of healthcare going. Then maybe I can get some glasses, or something.

Devon: M...a....n.... Wait, thats not right. M....o.....

Mickey: Well, he cant fire me. Im probably the closest thing to a ships surgeon that we have. If the popularity of my potions are any indication.

Hoybee: Sonny, yer potions are probably the only thing keeping this crew sane.

Pholly: Wait, so if Terra and Lisa had twins, or something, who are the Godsparents?

Hoybee: Well, we know that Michael will be out of the running....

Devon: Here it is....

Pholly: Well, I hope the little girls will be hale and healthy. Children are a blessing, after all.

Mickey: I heard they were looking into private school for the youngsters.

Hoybee: Good move. Having them on board would leave them open to all the geeks, wierdos, drunks, womanizers, lilly-heads, and Norbaz' chilli. Probably not what you would call a 'healthy environment'.

Pholly: Yeah, they might actually end up running with sicsors, or something.

Devon: OH, SWEET MERCIFUL GODS!! I have NO CHANCE on this tub!

Mickey: Youre just now figuring that out?
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:13 PM		Originally posted by Charles Phipps:

OOC: Good one Lugwrench!

IC:

The Life Story of Captain Rose Galan

NEXT ON E!

Rona Rochelle, Attractive but Vacuous Host: Hey folks, now we're going to be talking about the latest new sensation in piracy! The new Captain of the Forgotten Freedom.

Marish: He's mean, he said I'm monogamous!

Rona Rochelle: In any case, let's see what his early life composed of.

***

Interview Segment

Rose: I started out on the adventuring gig not in fantasy RPGs like most of the individuals on the crew. I actually was interested in just straight up hack and slash for profit. I admit, I had a few problems with the ladies early on.

***

Video Interview from Hyrule

Zelda: That arrogant SOB. I swear, he was always trying to get into my pants. We had to fire his ass and replace him with a lookalike.

***

Video Segment from Beverly Hills mansion

Rose: Yeah, my relationship with a certain princess didn't necessarily turn out to be good. They even had the gall to change my name when they marketed my life story. As if I didn't know what silver arrows REALLY alluded to.

***

Intervie Segment

Rona Rochelle: Things went bad to worse as he was forced to take more and more demeaning jobs in order to make rent.

***

Video clip

*Solid Snake sneaks up behind Rose while he's wearing camoflage attire and grabs him in a chokehold before pulling out his knife*

Rose: GAH!

*censored for violence*

***

Interview segment

Rona Rochelle: Luck turned around for Rose Galan when he was offered help from an associate and the two became fast friends. We don't actually have a clip of this time but imagine any scene from Pirates of the Carribean with Jack Sparrow and Will Turner and you have their relationship down pat.

***

Black Room with only a single chair

Jarlot: Complete and utter waste of my efforts.

***

Video Segment from Beverly Hills mansion

Rose Galan: Drunken hasbeen. I carried him the entire movie.

***

Black Room with only a single chair

Jarlot: If not for me, he'd still be doing Dinner theatre Monkey Island

***

Video Segment from Beverly Hills mansion

Rose Galan: What you really need to know, is he really likes guys.

***

Black Room with only a single chair

Jarlot: YOU LYING DOG! I KILL YOU!

***

Rona Rochelle: Do you have any connections to Eberron Mister Galan?

*Rose is now sipping drinks from a full body cast*

Rose Galan: I'm actually an Aerenal Half-Elf.

Rona Rochelle: Really, you look more Valenar.

*Room darkens*

Rose Galan: That's because the Deathless have not yet chosen to speak with me at this point about what nightmarish ways I should inflict undying suffering upon your pathetic mortal lives. The rise of the Old Ones shall occur soon enough and then you will know the depth of your misjudgement.

Rona Rochelle: And yet you're a bard...

Rose Galan: I do funerals, barmitzphas, and bachelor parties.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:14 PM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

OOC: come on Terra and Lisa need to get back. Sorry I've just been holding in a storyline for several months. Many of the things needed for it are constantly missing and right now the only thing not available are Terra and Lisa.
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:15 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw:

After the whole physiology scpeil:

Caralot: Unfortunately, using terms like eighth isn't quite correct.

OOKaizer: So what's the catch?

Caralot: Lycanthropy, or more correctly, therianthropy, is purely supernatural in origin. It's inheritance and expression follow no descernable pattern. It's more like being a half-elf in that it can be inherited fully despite generations or parings.

Lisa: So what does that make me?

Caralot: Who knows? You might not even have any of the curse within you. It might just lie dormant, like it does in your father.

Terra: So now we get to that. Cardinal Krozen has never detected as a lycnthrope to me, are you saying its because it's just not being expressed?

Caralot: Below pure therianthrope the signature of the curse is covered up by the natural aura of the being if the curse lies dormant. The individual might know, based on ancestry and instinct that they are a were'.

Lisa (turns to Silver): Back at my wedding, when my father refused to take me down the aisle, you told me that his secret was that he dresses up in animal suits during the full moon.

Silver: He does that because he feels the urge to become an animal.

Terra: *snort* Any animal is better than Krozen.

Caralot: I can't tell you how your ancestry came about, I only know what happened on my Eberron.

Lisa: So Sarah and Elina may turn out to be full half-were's?

Caralot nodds. "I have no doubt in saying that if they were full were's that you'd have detected it by now."

Terra: Full?

Caralot: The curse isn't a gene. It's a supernatural parasite. What makes half-were's or less is the amount of power it weilds over the afflicted.

Terra: So it could be awakened to full strength?

Caralot: :blink: I never thought of that………Anyway, you'll just have to wait and see what they come out as. Don't worry about dealing with halfs, I have plenty of experience with them. :D
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:17 PM		Originally posted by Gladius_Lucix:

Liam watches the proceedings of the trial, and the duel between Serene and
Tormos.

Liam: Hmm... This could be a good time to test my Weirsan Planar Synchronizer.

Liam walks up to Terrek.

Liam: Terrek, could I have a word with you?

Terrek: What do you want, halfling? I'm busy.

Liam: I have something here that could possibly generate a manifest zone of any plane, as long as it has some material from the plane to analyze. I'd like you to test it with some of your plane. If it works, you should have all the power you have there, here, albeit at a limited range.

Terrek: Interesting. But I have to ask, why are you giving it to me?

Liam: It's completely untested. In theory, it works, but I have no idea how it will function in practice. I figure you're the one most likely to actually survive.

Terrek: I see. I'll consider it.

-----

OOC: Cypher, try it if you want it. It's in your court. Have it work, or have it malfunction in an amusing or plot-twisty way. Your choice
Kaizer_Ryu

08-23-06, 11:18 PM		OOC: come on Terra and Lisa need to get back. Sorry I've just been holding in a storyline for several months. Many of the things needed for it are constantly missing and right now the only thing not available are Terra and Lisa.
OOC: As I said, they'll be back once this trial thing is over.

IC:

Terra: So, essentially, our kids could become Lycanthropes with the Outsider subtype?

Caralot: It's a possibly. It all depends on how many supernatural effects they inherited from each of you.

Lisa: This could cause some problems as far as social interaction...

Terra: Where do we live? The whole place if full of social misfits.

Lisa: True enough.

OOC: Ok, that's all for tonight. If anyone want's to continue updating, go ahead. Start with post 3758.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:19 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw:

Caralot: Besides, they have a half-werewolf half-uncle to teach them the tricks. (gestures to Weylin)

Weylin, male human half-werewolf racial levels 3/??? 1
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:20 PM		Originally posted by Kaizer Ryu:

Terra: It won't manifest for a while though. At least, it shouldn't.

Caralot: What makes you so sure?

Terra: Take a look. *detect magic*

Elina's Chakra points glow with a strange symbol Caralot has never seen before. It appears to be related to several others, both arcane and divine in nature, all related to sealing.

Caralot: What are those?

Terra: I was trying to figure out how to safely unlock any of the shadow power they inherited from me. I designed this symbol to seal it away until they could control it. As they mature, the seals will weaken. From their nature, it should effect any lycanthropy they inherited as well.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:22 PM		Originally posted by Crystalforged:


OOC: As I said, they'll be back once this trial thing is over.

OOC: :bigeyes: :weep: But you said you'd send them to Skies of Arcadia...

P.S. :P
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:23 PM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

OOC: My inner rules lawyer will not allow this. Lycanthropy can only affect humaniods and giant no matter the source.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:24 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw:

OOC: Then allow me to introduce:

Naggat, the Inevitable of Rules Lawyers (also Grammar Nazis)!

Naggat: I'm going ot go read 8-bit Theater.

OOC: Hey, wait, you're supposed to go out and bash all the people who can't accept things for the fun of it.

Naggat: You had to make me Chaotic just so I wouldn't break down over rules issues. Later!

OOC: :blink:…… :( Crp.

VeryOOC: Lady is a pure outsider with a lycanthropic template. So there! :P
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:25 PM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

OOC: Now Kaizer has two inevitables on him. Sucks to be him. Wait so do I. Sucks to be me too.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:25 PM		Originally posted by LugWrench

Mickey: Okay, so the kids could turn out to be werewolves when they grow up?

Pholly: I guess so. Probably why they werent born with a silver spoon.

Hoybee: Yer a funny guy, Pholly. Howzabout you go make some alchemists fire, or something?

Devon: no.....chance......

Mickey: Lets hope that they dont get fangs when they start to breast feed.

Pholly: MICKEY! This is a public thread! Have a little decency, man.

Mickey: Says the runt who was chased by Lisa through the ship after that goop ate off his clothes.....

Hoybee: When was this? I dont recall seeing that.

Pholly: Im amazed you can see the end of your nose.

Mickey: So what do we do until this trial thing is over?

Pholly: Well, the new cap'n threatened me with Norbaz's chilli if I made more alchemists stuff during the trial.

Hoybee: Ouch. Thats cold.

Devon: No......chance....... Wait a sec. *studies the book*

Hoybee: Wait, what about yer bartending skills?

Pholly: I think those are going to waste. I mean, sure, Michael tried to drink the ship dry, but I think thats just a one-time thing.

Michael: *from off screen* Sez *hic* you!!

Mickey: Ive still got some potions. Got any of that Grog left, Pholly? My cure moderates are getting a little bland.

Devon: SALVATION! "Monogamy is an interesting affliction. One that has a defininite cause known as 'marriage'. However, monogamy, and similar cases, can be cured with high doses of chocolate, gold, and lingere." BOO-YEAH! I love this book.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:27 PM		Originally posted by rampant:

Enter the Mind Scape of the Breaker Prime.

Satnak - You know full well your grasp has too many holes to keep me here.

Lord Sirinon - And we both know that as soon as you use them you reveal them and allow me to counter them the next time. You'll get maybe what enough time to move your eyes?

Satnak - Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
--------------------------------------------------

Tormos (holding twin light maces) - Nothing I didn't expect, my only question is why has Satnak never seen this before? were you afraid of something? rejection perhaps?

Serene - What no its not li-ugh

During her moment of distraction Tormos lands a viscious kick to the midsection and slips out of melee range.

Tormos - All my strength includes my all my cunning.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:27 PM		Originally posted by urial angel of death:

Volrath: Terrek is Serene immune to toxins or flame? If so I might be able to help atleast alittle.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:28 PM		Originally posted by Eled The Worm Tamer

Chanse: "Volrath, I need a favor or two. I need to to gather as many of the innfested red shirts as you can, get them to stick to the riven. Oh and do you know if the binding on satnack is a group effort, or just the bigwig? If there helping I can deal with that. In the mean time Im going to lend Serene a little hand."
Volrath "What you planning?"
Chanse "I never plan, I just do things one after the other." grins and goes to sit near the fight. As he does so he concentraits, bracers of blue incarnum envelop his arms, and he begins to idly cast a par of dice at his feet. Serene's motions becomming swifter, more assured, her strikes and evasions now blessed with inordanate fortune.

(ooc: Any one catching these posts for the wipe? Id volentear but Im on the wrong time zone )
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:29 PM		Originally posted by Charles Phipps:

OOC: Well it's unfair to Kaiser_Ryu to expect the man to free up his characters for OTHER people's plots. Its not his problem that we've come to enjoy his presence and acting so much. At heart, we must make our own stories.

Now for the next post, now with SOUNDTRACK!

IC:

A Long Time Ago in a Land Far Far Away....

http://www.thebardstale.com/soundtrack%5Cheres%20to%20the%20bard%20-%20title%20mix.mp3

Forgotten Freedom: THE MOVIE

In a world....of stuff.

*image of Marish playing around in a field of flowers*

There are people....who do bad things.

*Mickey Nine Fingers and the rest of the Tavern boys growl with knives in their mouth*

These people...are our heroes.

*Michael swings around his sword and charges randomly forward*

One Man...

*image of Rose Galan*

Rose: Who me?

Narrator: Yes you.

Will risk it all...

*Image of Rose checking his pockets for change*

To bring peace....

*identical image of Marish playing in a field of flowers*

Back to a dying land.

*Sight of the Forgotten Freedom setting fire to large numbers of fields*

COMING SOON TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU!

Date unconfirmed.

A Jerry Bruckheimer film.



***

*The Anthem of the Forgotten Freedom is being sung in the tavern http://www.thebardstale.com/soundtrack%5Cbeer_beer_beer.mp3 *

Rose: Well, I thank you for helping me get a feel for the place.

Satnak: Well you're new here and it's good to get an idea of what you're all about.

Mickey: Plus, the whole mass execution thing was a good way of improving morale.

Narrator: Our hero was getting acquainted at this time with the locals.

Mickey: What the hell?

Rose: Oh don't mind him, he just hangs around and....narrates.

Satnak: Is that a magic mouth spell or something?

Rose: Just ignore him, he's not even supposed to be here.

Narrator: Little did they expect that there was danger coming upon them behind...

*Doog is sneaking up in a cloak with a dagger*

Rose: *hits Doog over his shoulder with a beer bottle* Thanks for the warning.

Narrator: I said NOT expecting. You're ruining this.

Rose: Whatever.

Satnak: So who are you bringing up as your new first mate.

Rose: Well my first choice was Doog but since he's out.

Doog: NOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo

Rose: I've decided on Michael.

Satnak: Isn't he still deformed and sitting in a corner crying inbetween wearing a wax mask and playing the organ?

Rose: Well I often sit alone in my room and play my organ.

Satnak: Hardy har har har...

Rose: No, seriously.

Mickey: In any case, how'd you get him out.

Rose: Oh, I put a Book of Exalted Deeds in his room and let the power gamer in him brainwash him. He's just getting back from brainwash...errr...paladinschool.

*A white knight enters*

Saint Michael: Praise be to the Silver Flame! I am delivered unto the unholy dungeon of DARKNESS to deliver this land from the forces of murder and shadow. I am forbidden by the Pontiff from taking a life but I shall do unto my best to convert you to the....ONE TRUE RIGHTEOUS PATH!

Saint Mickey: Oh hell.

Rose: I understand they used electricity and dunking his head under water alot.

Marish: HEY MICHAEL!

Saint Michael: AH! A WOMAN! MY CHASTITY!

*runs away*

Rose: Huh, I'm glad it was free.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:32 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero

Terrek: Volrath, Serene is immune to most poisons and highly resistant to fire. Just don’t overdo it. (Turns to Liam) As you your idea… Let’s hold off on it a bit. My reasons for doing so are twofold. First, I want to see if Serene can hold her own. If not, then I’ll have no choice but to intervene. The second reason is that if this thing works like you say it will, then I will be the most powerful being ever too be set foot on this ship… or close enough to it that the rest of the crew may decide that I just became a serious threat and this crew has a habit of taking down exceptionally powerful beings seemingly just because of their power. However, I doubt it will work exactly as intended. The properties of my plane are rather… unique; hence the effect at the very least is likely to not be as strong when replicated. We shall see how the battle progresses, but I thank you for such a gift. As a man of magi-science myself I am curious as to whether it works as well. If the opportunity does not present itself here, then well will test it later, hmm? For now though, let us watch, my daughter is about to attack…
.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:33 PM		Originally posted by urial angel of death

Volrath exits and reenters with several hundred infested redshirts. He give most to Chanse but keeps about six for himself.

Volrath: Go my pretties.

Redshirt after redshirt disappear and reappear inside the dueling ring and explode in a massive torent of toxic gasses and heat. The explosion is completely contained by the forcefield and fills it all.

Chanse: How did you do that?

Volrath: Back in second edition the astral plane could be used to travel quickly to other places in the material plane. I had Nalfien activate that kind of astral travel and then send them in. Since it hasn't been around since second edition no one has defenses to it and I was able to get them through. Though now they have probably upgraded the forceshield to resist that sort of entry.

The smoke begins to clear...
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:33 PM		Originally posted by rampant

MindScape

Satnak - SEREEEEEEEEENE!!! :weep:

Lord Sirinon - Admirable, she will keep going till Tormos has to hurt her badly. You know how to save her.

Satnak - :mad: I have faith in the woman I gave my heart. I just wish... I hope this works.

----------------------------

Serene feints forward then, ducks to the left slashing with her wing.

Tormos slams down both maces and levers himself up and over.

---------------------------

Disarray - why did I let you talk me out of calling Levy and Forbes?

Ketty - This is a clan matter for now.

Tirmek - *stares intently at the marks onhis aunts skin*

Ketty - Those sigils mean the Riven are within in her binding her. All five at once means Lord sirinon is commanding them. Tormos is as of yet incapable of using more than 2 together.

Disarray - Why bother explaining to a baby?

Ketty - This is Tirmek d'Tharmis after his grandmother Tirmak d'Tharmis.

Disarray - (i.h.h. thats it motherhood makes you crazy, note to self never be the mommy)

-------------------

TOrmos - I can see every move in your repitoire. I know how you were trained. You can't beat me. :(

Serene lashes sideways and brings down her taloned hand across Tormos's shoulder.

Serene - THen I'll just improvise. (i.h.h. good thing he didn't spy overmuch on my time with Satnak, he'd have seen that move, too bad it didn't knock him down, then again I don't have Satnak's muscle)
----------------------------

OOC: Feel free to mess with the fight however you want, technically since Serene is out clan its anything goes. Just no victory sequences unless its a fake out. I'll post finally later tonight.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:34 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero

Terrek: (Telepathically to Serene) Serene, ignore his words; they serve only to distract you. Remember what I taught you, play to your strengths and focus. Sing daughter, it’s what you were born to do.

OOC: Just as a side note here: Don’t forget she’s a bard. In my mind she would sing to help herself focus and control her emotions. For many people (including myself), singing is like a kind of meditation, I think it would be for her. Also, it’s kinda neat when you make up songs that she sings. :P
.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:34 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw

The Four Commentators are watching the battle between Serene and Tormos.

Bunny: This remind you of anything?

OOcat: Every long and pointless animé battle ever made? :bored:

Bunny: Tormos and Serene are both just pathetic. :mad:

Silver: You're only saying that because no one's dead yet.

Bunny: I stick with what works for me. :whatsthis:

13: Anything we can do to help? I've had this idea for a tactacle strike with polka music.

Silver: Perhaps they'd be willing to accept an Alt-Satnak?

OOcat: I highly doubt it. This is your big "fight for the love interest" scene.

13: I would hope OOrampant would be less cliché than that.

Bunny: Whoa, wait, I just remembered that we're supposed to be nice to these guys.

OOcat: That'd work. :devil: (cool evil voice) Go, my minions!
*******
Lord Sirinon: Well everything seems to be going well—

*Swept off his feat into a comfy armchair, boots replaced with fuzzy bunny slippers, cigar stuffed into his mouth and lit, a table with assorted drinks placed to one side.*

Bunny: Pedicure?

13: Scone?

Silver: Pillow?

All three: Whatever we can do to make your stay more comfortable! :D

Lord Sirinon:…………What's going on? Why're you being nice to me?
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:35 PM		Originally posted by urial angel of death

Volrath: So my infested redshirts did nothing?

Nalfien: Well they did look impressive.

Volrath: Still that was a wasted 6000 damage.

Nalfien: Starcraft to D&D conversion would make it far more. Remember in their damage system a machine gun adapted from a rail gun deals six.

Volrath: :weep:
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:35 PM		Originally posted by Kaizer_Ryu

Tormos: Please, concede. You have no chance.

Serene: Never.

Serene dodges as Tormos' maces come crashing down.

Tormos: You have skill, but you are no warri-

Cheese: *right behind him* I WANT SOME FISHY CRACKERS!!!!!

Tormos: Gah!

In his distraction, Serene lands a series of devistating blows, sending Tormos flying.

Cheese: Can I have some fishy crackers?!

Serene: Here you go.

Cheese: YAY!!!

Serene turns to press the attack, only to find herself in Cheese's grasp.

Cheese: WHERE WE GOING?!

Serene: Well, I'm going to win this battle, you're going to get out of harms way.

Cheese: *nasally inhale* ...ok.

Tormos rights himself and strikes at Serene while she is preoccupied. Instinctively, Serene raises her arms in defense, bringing Cheese directly into the path of the oncoming mace.

Cheese: CANDY!

Cheese catches the mace in his mouth and begins sucking on it intently. He promptly spits it back out, covered in drool.

Cheese: Candy is broken...

OOC: Take this where you wish. I just couldn't resist.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:36 PM		Originally posted by rampant

OOC: Sorry I started typing before you posted.
------------------------

Tormos - WTF!! :twitch: OuCh!

Serene - :P (i.h.h. discordant desire)

The spirit of fate is set against you/ the sword of law strikes true

BOOOM (infested terran)

Rise up the hand of ambition/ now is the time for decision

Fwooom (and another one bites the dust)

Mortal flame breaks the heavens/ shatter the false one to thousands

KRAKROOM (Tormos hits the ceiling)

Let none bar your new path/ all who dare face a lovers wrath

As Tormos descends the Gaurded Heart Thrums in time with Serene's lilting song. Serene brings the crystal sword around only to be blocked by Tormos's maces, only this time sparks fly as the blade bites deep and through the metal.

Tormos - :twitch: Do not touch the sword!

-------------------

Terrek - Ok what just happened?

Ketty - The Gaurded heart is a crystal sword. It resonates, to bad Satnak couldn't carry a tune in a sack.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:37 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero

OOC: Only on this thread could we have both Starcraft (TM) and "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (TM)" references within one post of each other. Really do you people have no shame? :P
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:37 PM		Originally posted by urial angel of death

Volrath: Yeah they were useful *Vg Cat Leo smile*

Nalfien: But the time paradox. :(

Volrath: Its just a simple time hop.

Nalfien: My head hurts.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:39 PM		Originally Posted by rampant
Ketty - The Gaurded heart is a crystal sword. It resonates, to bad Satnak couldn't carry a tune in a sack.

Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw

Silver: You mean…

Bunny:…………………heroic maneuvers depend…

13:……………………………………………………………………on how cool the music is?

All of Silvercat trembles.

OOcat: COOL!

The Greyfeline band strikes up (insert name of favorite song).
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:40 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw

OOC: None. Shame is for boring people.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:42 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero

Terrek: (Presently looking over Liam's device as the Halfling watches on.) Bah. Time bends to the will of those that know how to use it. (Device: *click*) Hmm... Interesting... Maybe if I recalibrate this here...
.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:43 PM		Originally posted by Kaiser_Ryu

Couple things I didn't mention in my last post. One:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Phipps
OOC: Well it's unfair to Kaiser_Ryu to expect the man to free up his characters for OTHER people's plots. Its not his problem that we've come to enjoy his presence and acting so much.

:D:D:D:D

Second:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystalforged
OOC: But you said you'd send them to Skies of Arcadia...

Well, a combination of the story doing weird things and me getting bored conspired to make me scrap that. I guess if you really want to, you could do that one...

Lastly, since when have we let shame (or technicalities for that matter) get in the way of humor?

EDIT: I've been saving the posts every so often, but these boards won't be "wiped". Like last time, once the new ones are up (and hopefully functioning this time), these ones will remain in their current form, only no posting. Once the migration is done (like the last two times) I'll repost what is not brought over.

I did have one idea for Charles Phipps. Since you asked about it a little while ago, a good point to start a new thread might be once the migration is finished.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:50 PM		Originally posted by Charles Phipps

The new thread is up guys.

I hope you enjoy it.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:50 PM		Originally posted by rampant

Tormos - Sigh *telekinetic blast*

Serene - Oof.

Tormos - I...

Serene - Stuff it you coward. That was stupid, not a very good seer are you.

Tormos - Now see hear :mad:

Serene - Do you have any Idea what you just did?

Tormos - What :confused: :mad:

Serene - Some warrior, no wonder daddy had to stoop so low to get an heir.

Tormos - :headexplo

Tormos surges up and off the cieling aiming for Serene.

Tormos - (i.h.h. no dodging) *psionic hold person* NOw Shut UP! :censored:

Tormos Drives a knife hand strike with a sonic booster right through a suddenly open spot on her armor. The force of the blow rips through her and out the other side breaking the scales, the sheild falls.

Serene - *coughs up blood* a real warrior knows when to cheat.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:51 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero

Terrek strides forth, Liam’s device in his hand – apparently activated.

Terrek: There is no cheating in battle, only death.

Terrek’s chains lash out and grab Tormos binding him helpless in front of Terrek. Terrek raises a gauntleted hand which begins cracking with arcane energy. Terrek’s dark aura glows around him and the power about him becomes almost tangible.

Terrek: Submit, or die!

OOC: Rampant – if you have something else/better planned, don’t let me stop you. Just have the device fail and Terrek’s back to his *normal* power-level instead of the near-omnipotence he’s at now. Your call. Cousre, given the nature of the riven, this could prove to be a spectacular battle between Terrek and the other parties. Also, since I’m assuming Liam’s device creates an area effect, Serene would also be considerably more powerful since she too is tied to her home plane and more powerful there. Again, this is all your call.
.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:51 PM		Originally posted by rampant

OOC: No this is basically the plan, Serene drops sheild Crew mauls the Sirinon. As for the Riven they world shaping hands full.
---------------------------
MindScape

Satnak - Serene...

Lord Sirinon - Such a pity she had to die

Satnak has been driven deep into hatred, nothing matters except getting out and slaughtering the monsters who did this. Her mental self slides through the holes in the Riven bind. As the Seal reforms around her....

Lord Sirinon - Well that did a lot of goo-hkg

Satnak - Your stuck in here with me now.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:52 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero

OOC: OOOO! Goody! Question: can we kill them?

IC:

Serene gets up, the bleeding has stopped and she’s begun to heal at an inexplicable rate. She begins singing again, her voice doing things that could only be described as impossible. As she sings the Guarded heart starts vibrating faster and faster finally vibrating so fast the air around it crackles with energy and the blade glows red-hot. She walks up to Tormos, held in her father’s chains…

OOC: Have fun! I look forward to the ending when I wake up in the morning!
.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:53 PM		Originally posted by Gladius_Lucix

Liam looks upon what his inventions have wrought.

Liam: Note to self: STOP giving power enhancing items to those on the ship that are already near omnipotent. I'll have to remember that for next time. Good thing I've got another new toy for myself.

Liam pulls out a box with a display screen and a bunch of dials on it.

Liam: Lets hope this works. Okay, coarse adjustment, find the area, getting closer, closer, dial in one of the Rivens' Weirsan signature, signature locked! Now, determine inverse signature, and broadcast.

One of the Riven binding Satnak releases and leaves her body with an amusing and audible "Pop." It stands frozen off to the side.

Liam: That worked rather well.

----

OOC: As with all of Liam's inventions, feel free to have it fail if it is useful to the plot.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:53 PM		Originally posted by rampant

MIndscape

Satnak - SEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRR

Material Realm

Satnak - RRREEEEENE

With the LInk broken the four remaining riven cannot hold Satnak. As her body expels the remaining four she rushes to Serene.

Satnak - I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't think they'd take it this far. :weep: And then when you got hurt...

At this point Satnak Breaks down into inciherent babbling.

Serene (holding satnak close with one hand while the other points at Lord Sirinon) - You I cannot forgive for what you did to her. (turns to Tormos) And you are a coward without nough spine to stand against what you know is wrong. (begins to leaves carrying Satnak) Oh, Father, get them out of here, I never want to see either of them around us again.

Exit.


Terrek - NOW you both di-erk.

Ketty - As much as they Deserve it one at least needs to be in shape to rule. Do what you will but remember at least one must make it back.
------------------------------

Serene is putting Satnak to bed.

Serene - There's my silly ..YAAAaAAAAAWWWWWN... Girl ...just need to..ZZZZ

Both emotionally exhausted the two have fallen asleep on each other.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:54 PM		Originally Posted by rampant
Ketty - As much as they Deserve it one at least needs to be in shape to rule. Do what you will but remember at least one must make it back.

Originally posted by Gladius_Lucix

Liam: :w00t: It worked!

Liam looks at the two vict- ... well, yeah, I guess victims is right.

Liam: A spineless wimp and, apparently, their world's Admiral Jarlot Sr. That's going to be a tough choice of who to send back. Ah, well, I'll leave that to the others. I'm going to play with my newly caught Riven.

Liam picks up the Weirsan Negator, grabs the Riven by what passes for a hand, and heads back to his lab.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:55 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero

Terrek: Hmph. Still… in the interest of maintaining some form of trust I’ll let one of them live. The only question is: will it be the Coward or the Imbecile? I’m thinking Imbicile. What do you think Tormos? Anything to say in your defense that I might let you live instead of your father? Mind you, I’ll be inflicting excruciating amounts of torture on both of you anyways, just because I’m sadistic, and you’ll both be begging for death by the time it’s over. Keep in mind though, the one who dies gets to have their soul devoured, so living really is the best option here. So what do you say Tromos?

OOC: I’ll leave his reply up to you rampant.
.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:56 PM		Originally posted by rampant

Tormos - ... I have nothing. I am weak of heart and will, I let my father control me and sully the honor of everyone here. I am a coward. :( I do not dserve any mercy.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:56 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw

Bunny: I say let both of them live.

Terrek: Then it's settled……WHAT?

Silver & 13: :OMG! Bunny doesn't want someone to die!

Bunny: Death would be too fast for them…

13: Wait, wait, I see where he's going……AND IT'S MY SCHTICK!

Bunny: Fine, fine.

13: Thank you. Anyway, I say we let them live but send them back with something that will forever remind them of just what we will do to them should they meddle with Satnak again.

Terrek: But I want revenge for what they did to Serene!

Bunny: Powerful people always whine.

Terrek: :weep: You're mean…………Wait, why am I talking like this?

OOcat: :devil:

Bunny: No one likes you.

13: As I was saying, we send them back with a little reminder…

The curtain opens to reveal:

13 (gameshow host voice): That's right! As out lovely parting gift you'll recieve: Cheese…

Cheese: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

13: …now with no higher brain function!

Tormos: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

13: But wait, that not alllllllll…

Curtain opens further to reveal minbolds.

13: …the MMMbop minbolds!

Tormos: *whimper*

13: An finally……………

Curtain falls off its rail.

Tormos: :shocked: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

OOC: I think I'll leave this one up to rampant. ;)
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:57 PM		Originally posted by cypher_zero

Terrek: No. He dies.

Terrek grabs both Tormos and his father and leaves immediately. Their screams can be heard throughout the ship for several days...
[color=orange].[color]
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:58 PM		Originally posted by Crystalforged

Kanatash: :banghead: :tantrum: :censored: :headexplo :rant: Damn you, you son of a *****! I had a fate horrible beyond words completely planned out for you that make you suffer for all eteritity!

OOCrystalforged: Why can't you do it now?

Kanatash: :weep: It's no fun if they think they deserve it.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 02:59 PM		Originally posted by rampant

OOC: You can do that part better SC.
----------------------------

Satnak - uh..huh? SERENE?! areyouokfirstthemetalandthefightingthent hebloodandohgodsimgonnakillthemand...huf f puff

Serene - Slow down Silly girl, I'm allright.

Satnak - *hug* :weep: don't scare me like that.

Serene - ITs allright, I'm fine and those two won't bother us again. Just calm down and lets just be together. For now I just want to be here with you.

Satnak - oh... ok, I'm not letting go for a good hour anyway *stillhugging*
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 03:00 PM		Originally posted by Gladius_Lucix


Terrek: No. He dies.

Terrek grabs both Tormos and his father and leaves immediately. Their screams can be heard throughout the ship for several days...
[color=orange].[color]


OOC:
I'm sorry, Cypher, and I know that you're just playing Terrek properly, but this is a shared story. Just like everyone shared the torture of Kronzen, everyone wants to share this. And, if you missed the first seven characters of the title, I'll repeat them here:

Quote:
[humor]



I think most people here are here to be funny, and torture the more amusing NPC's of Eberron. You said yourself that Terrek isn't funny, and that's what this thread is supposed to be.
Just my :twocents: , no offense meant.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 03:51 PM		Originally posted by rampant

Ketty - Consider your self lucky I'm nicer than my sister in law's pop Tormos. GO!

Tormos - but I deserv-

Ketty - Of course you do, thats how I know you can left on your own. You know your evil and can be vigilant against it now leave before Terrek regains his senses and sees through my tricks. By the way this is the last time Consider the Borisheel and the Tharmis as rogue clans.

Tormos -.... (gathers the riven and enters the mealstrom heading home)

Ketty - Leave him, we have matters here to attend to. For starters I'm not packing this mess up on my own. Disarray drop this by Satnak's door. When you finish we're heading back to the island.
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 03:51 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw

OOC: :D It's nice to be appreciated.
IC: Nearly eveyone has walked out of the battle room.

Kanatash: So……what was behind the rest of the curtain?
******
Tormos (running): GET AWAY FROM ME!

Alt-Satnaks: :love: But we love you, Tormos darling!
rwarner3701

08-24-06, 03:52 PM		Originally posted by Kaizer_Ryu

OOC: Ok, I want to bring them back some time in the next few hours, or else I'll probably have to wait till tomorrow.

*in a Spanish accent* I hate waiting...

IC:

Lisa: Is that everything?

Terra: I think so. If not, the lazy bum that is our Entity can just Narrative Element it to us.

Lisa: Maybe you should wait until after we get back to make fun of him...

OOC: No direct interaction, please. I've got a surprise coming. If any of you non-urial angel of death's and -Rei32491's say you saw it coming, you're a big fat liar.

Except maybe SilvercatMoonpaw. That I could see.

REALLY OOC: Not sure where I ended the site changed when I tried to refresh it might be missing a few posts.
Gladius_Lucix

08-24-06, 04:34 PM		Originally posted by rampant

Bring them to the new thread please
Gladius_Lucix

08-24-06, 04:34 PM		Originally posted by Kaizer_Ryu

OOC: I'm gonna do both at the same time. I can't do one and not the other. It just doesn't have the same effect to do it twice at widely different times. It'll have to wait till tomorrow anyway. I updated the new boards a bit, so if anyone wants to continue with that, go ahead.
Gladius_Lucix

08-24-06, 04:38 PM		OOC: Ok, here I go. I promise I'll mess with Jarlot later, but I'm in a slight time crunch, so, gotta prioritize. For the same reason, I'll put them on the new thread and the Wiki at that time as well.

IC:

Volrath: Huh?:eek: :D IT'S GONE! IT'S FINALLY GONE!!!

Nalfein: What's gone?

Volrath: The muzak! My link is back u- Oooooohhhhh...so that's what my entity was all excited about...
----------
The sky around the FF darkens as storm clouds gather. Lightning strikes all around the ship as the crew gathers. Many of the lesser downs appear worried, but most know who is responsible. Suddenly, a bolt strikes the deck, but leaves no damage. The flash of electricity takes shape, forming into a winged humanoid. The clouds begin to disperse as Terra stands before them.

Terra: Flashy entrance, check.:D

From behind them, the crew hears clapping. Standing behind them is Lisa flanked by two young girls.

Lisa: Good show!

Terra: I've always wanted to do that.

Elina: That was so cool!

Sarah: And they didn't even notice us.

The crew stands dumbfounded at this turn of events as Terra walks over to her wife and daughters. The first point they notice (once they stop staring a foot beneath their faces) is Terra's wings. The second is that Lisa almost looks younger than when she left. The third are the two children.

Terra: To preempt any questions, the wings are part of my evolution, Nalfein's Potion of Youth worked wonderfully, and our Entity left the Fast Forward on our timeline running too long.

(previously)

OOKaizer: Ok, that should be long enou- OOOOOOOOOO, shiny!!!!!!

(back to present)

Lisa: These are our daughters...

Elina Branford
Female Half-Elf/Half-Fiend/Half-Celestial/Werewolf(possible)
Spirit Shaman 3 (ECL is more like 10)

The older of the two sisters, Elina was exposed to high levels of magic during her formative months. As such, she has a powerful connection with the spirits that roam the world. Being only nine years old, she can be quite immature at times, but can also be surprisingly responsible. Her Spirit Guide is the fox. Her alignment is as of yet undetemined, being so young, but she tends towards Chaotic Neutral. The first thing most people notice about her is her eyes. Framed by bright pink hair, the piercing stare distinctive to Outsiders is especially unnerving coming from those amber eyes.

Sarah Hopeforge
Female Half-Elf/Half-Fiend/Half-Celestial/Werewolf(possible)
Scout 3 (ECL is more like 10)

The younger of the two sisters, Sarah manifests more signs of Lycanthropy than Elina, but she has yet to truly transform. Her ability to remain undetected is remarkable, even to her parents. Though she suffers from the same mischevious streak as her sister, she tends more towards Lawful Neutral. From beneath the powder blue hair, her bright blue eyes shine with the same unrelenting gaze of the Outsiders as her sister.

Sarah: Hi!

Elina: This ship is HUGE!

Satnak: Well, well. Looks like you two were busy. *;) at Terra and Lisa*

Elina & Sarah: :D AUNT SATNAK! *TACKLE*

(OOC: Hope you don't mind, rampant. This idea was just too funny)

Satnak: Whoa, whoa! Aunt?

Lisa: We've been telling them all about everyone here, and they just started referring to you that way.

Satnak: :cloud9:

Volrath: Hey! Don't hog all the attention!

Elina & Sarah: UNCLE VOLRATH! *TACKLE*

Volrath: Ooof!:D

Nalfein: Ew. Children, yuck... (OOC: points if you get the reference)

OOC: Ok, that's all for now (time crunch and all). I have a few souvenirs to give out, but that'll have to wait till tonight. If you want to do their reactions to the new, completely-useless-because-he's-a-Bard Captain (which they knew about), go ahead. Same goes for Michael. I'll post their updated levels once I get back from work tonight.
Gladius_Lucix

08-24-06, 04:39 PM		Originally posted by SilvercatMoonpaw

OOC: I did not see that coming.

OOcat: Awwwwww. I like being smart.:weep:

OOC: How MANYTIMESDOIHAVETOTELLYOUNOTTOTALKTOMEIN THISMODE!
******
Silver: So, wait……now Lady is younger than those two despite being born before them.

Saberiel: And no one is prematurely aging her.

OOcat: I already did an older version. I'm not in any rush to repeat it.

Lady: *gurgle-screech* (leaps in insect mode upon a passing redshirt and eats him from the inside out)

Saberiel: Isn't she darling?:D

Caralot: Who's a little cute-wooty? Yes you are, yes you are!

13: :devil: (thinks of exposing the rest of the crew to this disguisting spectacle (i.e. baby-talk))

Bunny: :devil: (thinks of all the cool ways to use Lady to kill people)
Charles Phipps

08-24-06, 04:58 PM		OOC: Ok, that's all for now (time crunch and all). I have a few souvenirs to give out, but that'll have to wait till tonight. If you want to do their reactions to the new, completely-useless-because-he's-a-Bard Captain (which they knew about), go ahead. Same goes for Michael. I'll post their updated levels once I get back from work tonight.

No problem, now that the new thread is up and running here on the updated boards there's still a party going on there for you after all. So it's only fitting you handle their initial impressions.

Rose: BARDS CAN DO ANYTHING!

Devon: Yeah!

Rose: I must plot your death so that I can be the only bard onboard.
cypher_zero

08-24-06, 10:04 PM		Serene: Actually, I'm a bard too.

OOC: :teach: Some of you may notice that there is in fact an orange period at the end of most of my posts. To save myself the trouble of having to explain it to those who will notice later I'll explain it now. It's for spacing. That's it. Nothing else. Spacing. 'Cause the bottom of the box thing that all posts are in sits right up against the last line of text in a post. So I put the period there to space it out. Spacing. It's orange so it's hard to see and people don't bug me about why there's a period at the end of my posts. It backfired. Now they bug me cause it's orange. Spacing. . . . SPACING!!!! :twitch:

ORAGNE PERIOD OF DOOM!
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
. . . . .
rampant

08-24-06, 10:35 PM		Satnak Twitches and the skyline detonates.

Satnak - What was that about being the only bard on board?

Rose - Nothing:eek:
Charles Phipps

08-24-06, 10:47 PM		Rose: Well it's a simple matter of me being the Bardiest of you all.

Devon: That's not even a word.

Rose: I attended Sharn Bard college and served three years with Spinal Slash.

***

E-Hollywood Special Flashback

George: Yeah, Rose was a complete wanker the entire time he was with the Band. Completely ruined the Hobbiton gig by getting utterly plastered and throwing up on Bilbo Baggin's couch.

***

Rose: I also was immortalized by the Seren Barbarian Skalds for accidentally releasing an Argonessan Dragon criminal onto the nation of Q'barra they were seiging.

***

On Seren

Seren Vikings: http://www.thebardstale.com/soundtrack%5Cheres%20to%20the%20bard%20-%20viking%20mix.mp3

***

Rose: I demand a competition to prove whom is the bardiest!

Satnak: I'm omnipotent. I win.

Rose: And that's why you lose. Omnipotence is just plizz poor stortelling.

*is hit by lightning*

Rose: I mean, take the whole continent business. You destroy one and utterly kill all the storytelling opportunities...

*is hit by lightning again*

Rose: I still have some hit points left!

*is hit by half a dozen*

Rose: Okay, maybe there's room for several bards onboard...

OOC: I think we should wrap up the stories here by the end of the month. It's mostly a matter of uploading really and the permanent archiving of the old forums.
rampant

08-24-06, 11:05 PM		OOC: Satnak is not omnipotent, she's just badder than anyone else on board. And she meant Serene, if Rose was the only bard what happened to Serene?
Also I think it is pretty much wrapped up here.
Charles Phipps

08-24-06, 11:46 PM		OOC: Satnak is not omnipotent, she's just badder than anyone else on board. And she meant Serene, if Rose was the only bard what happened to Serene?
Also I think it is pretty much wrapped up here.

That's a good question, where is Serene anyway?

*looks at Rose*

Rose: Oh fine!

*goes to release Serene from the Tomb of Horrors*
rampant

08-25-06, 01:25 AM		Satnak makes sure serene is safe. Then makes subtle references to the 6 most painful and disfiguring ways to castrate a man
Rokku

09-11-06, 02:44 AM		Okay I have no idea where the list ends because holy god this thing is long, and this may have even been mentioned, but the first thing I thought when I saw King Boranel's art in Five Nations was..

# Who Knows: You will not refer to King Boranel ir'Wynarn as "The Hulkster" nor ask him if "Brelandmania is running wild."
golem470

09-19-06, 11:19 AM		ok this has got to be the longest thread on the forum it needs to be sticked so its never lost. To to funny to lose
Crystalforged

09-19-06, 11:32 AM		Actually this thread is more or less dead at this point. We've all moved on to a new thread after the board update.
Cannith

09-21-06, 04:09 PM		115. There is not a secret plot to combine Dark Sun and the Council of Wyrms and the Flanaes into one setting on Eberron to save money.

116. Even if they did it with Forgotten Realms

Could somebody explain this to me, please?
Paulon

09-21-06, 04:24 PM		I believe it refers to the way that the original Forgotten Realms got enhanced with the Oriental Adventures (Kara Tur), Arabian Nights (Al-Quadim), Aztec/New World (Mastica), and Mongols (the Horde) settings in the first/second editions.
jokei

09-22-06, 09:02 AM		156. The Thrane Royal Family will not be referred to as "the most useless monarchy since Britains."

157. Even if one of you happens to be a subject of the Queen of England (and Canada)

Hey, they provide us with entertainment and keep journalists in employment.
And 157 - Australia too.
cypher_zero

09-29-06, 10:01 PM		To any of you who may be interested to know what happened to this thread in all of it's awesomeness: There is a new thread. It can be found here: http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=690191

cypher
golem470

10-17-06, 12:51 PM		well I think this should definitely be stickied so people who don't know all about our cast and everything prior they can kinda catch up. Also it shows how creative/twisted people around here can be.
Alpha_Moose

04-05-07, 09:25 PM		"Monty Python's Flying Circus!"

John Cleese: And now…for something…completely different.


In the half-dragon entry, it says that this race is the result of when a dragon uses Alter Self to become a humanoid, and impregnates a real humanoid. My question is, what happens when a human uses a polymorph spell to become an elf, then inpregnates a real elf. Is the resulting child an elf, or a half-elf? Taking it one step futher, what if a druid uses Wild Shape, becomes a wolf, and impregnates a wolf? Would the child be a wolf, or some sort of half-wolf? For arguments sakes, assume they are all really drunk.

Caralot: Tried that. It's a lot of fun. Results in a half-were.

OOcat: The question is druid/wolf, neither of which is were.

Caralot: :confused: :lightbulb

OOcat: :banghead:

Wait, what? Why was I not informed of this?
Adamaro23

04-21-07, 12:29 AM		("142. I will not use Khyber shards to summon Elvis.")

Even if he went there when he supposably "died".

We all knew he could walk the planes
slimenstrakhazmodan

06-05-07, 03:35 AM		1955. It's wrong to tell Jaela she was created by monks and she's actually the Key.


Lol Buffy reference.
Creature_Mastermind

08-20-07, 05:57 PM		1956.Whipping up a tornado right in front of King Boranel´s palace is a BAD idea(i got this from Darakhoranon btw)and I didn't read through the whole thread so sorry if this already posted.
Charles Phipps

08-20-07, 05:58 PM		I wonder if this is archived for future generations of insanity.

:-)
SilvercatMoonpaw

08-20-07, 06:01 PM		OOC: Whoa! Nostalgia alert! We can't even remember the last time we bothered with the Rules.
Creature_Mastermind

08-20-07, 06:06 PM		I hope so too.
Adrez Nesnsid

10-26-07, 11:09 AM		:bump:
Adrez Nesnsid

10-26-07, 11:18 AM		#???) The cleric of The Traveler may not be named "Ivo Shandor"

#???+1) Or "Vins Clortho"

#???+2) or "Zuul"

#???+3) Your Gatekeeper Druid may not be named "Zuul" either

#???+3) the Traveler is NOT Gozer the Gozerian
Adrez Nesnsid

10-26-07, 11:31 AM		???) Merrix d'cannith is NOT Nute Gunray (from Phantom Menace)
Adrez Nesnsid

10-26-07, 02:47 PM		#???) The Devourer's herald is not the Silver Surfer
vhurka

06-15-08, 08:51 PM		264. Though you are a shifter, you do not have the "heart of a lion, wings of a bat"; no matter how much you want them.

265. We are not changing the name of the boat to Limozeen.

ROTFLMAO! For some reason no one that plays D&D watches homestar runner cartoons. I guess that's just too much awesome for one person to contain.
Nived

06-15-08, 10:01 PM		What in the world? I thought this thread was closed and moved to one of the role playing forums.

Vhurka you know not what you have necroed!

Still funny though.
demonfey02

06-16-08, 08:35 PM		The third installment was moved here.
http://forums.gleemax.com/forumdisplay.php?f=688
Also, we could use more people for another one.
Lower Deck City (http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=1023777&page=8)
chaosreaper

06-17-08, 02:01 AM		#Some really high number: No, you may not have a super soaker filled with nitroglycerin.
#Some really high number + 1: It's pronounced necromAncer, not necromOncer.
#Some really high number + 2: No matter how many times you ask, you cannot roll a reflex check to dodge an attack.
#Some really high number + 3: You can't crit on undead.
#Some really high number + 4: Not even with two natural twenties.
#Some really high number + 5: Not even with three natural twenties.
#Some really high number + 6: Four!?!! :confused: :eek: Four natural twenties? Okay, maybe. But you need to confirm it.
#Some really high number + 7: Okay. Five natural twenties is a sign from the overdeities. :bow: The arrow stakes the vampire in the heart.

All of these have actually happened in my party. And I watched: the twenties were legit.
chaosreaper

06-18-08, 01:26 AM		#Some really high number + 8: 26 languages is excessive for anyone. I don't care if you think "If adventuring doesn't work out, I could always make a killing in the translating business."
vhurka

06-24-08, 01:48 AM		Firstly, would someone please explain to me what the f*(% "thread necromancy" means?
Anyway, I got a couple:
#?:Thou shalt not make an artificer/ardent with the time mantle who refers to himself as "The Doctor" and carries a bunch of kick-awesome, mysterious magic items.
#?:Even though that would be a great refference to an awesome sci-fi show and a cool character concept.
#?:Thou shalt not have thy warforged character shout "EXTERMINATE!!" when he enters combat.
#?:The warforged does not have an alien, octopus-looking thing inside him that's coated in metal for protection.
#?:And if he does, it is not named Thay, Sek, Ka, or whatever the last guy's name is, and isn't a member of the cult of Skara.
#?:Thou shalt not MAKE ANY MORE JOKES ABOUT S3XING JAELA!!!!
#?SERIOUSLY! SHE'S LIKE, 11 OR SOMETHING!
#?AND NO MORE JOKES ABOUT ROASTING THINGS ON THE SILVER FLAME! IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!
Paulon

06-24-08, 04:10 AM		Thread Necromancy is the restarting of a thread that's been inactive for a long time. There's a definition here. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bump_(Internet))

And the Daleks got recruited as ships security in one of the sequel threads. They were trying to get life insurance in less than 24 hours. ;)
vhurka

07-14-08, 10:45 PM		Thank you, dude. You have earned 30 jibneypoints. And now, to issue my retort:
In the words of an awesome guy on youtube, "As long as they're talking about you, you're doing something right."
Anyway, I honestly had no idea that they're had been so many Doctor Who refferences in this thread. And I got excessively ****** off about some of those jokes, but I hope you understand the stereotype you're enforcing.
teamfireyleader

08-08-08, 05:46 PM		.204. You will not ask any Rakashasa Prince to endorse frosted flakes by saying "They'reee GREAAAAAT!"

http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff194/teamfireyleader/TheeeeyyyyyrrrrreeeeeGGGGRRREEEAAAT.jpg
Not my picture came from
ommart.org/portfolio.htm
Charles Phipps

08-08-08, 06:09 PM		A laugh point there, my friend.

:)
El_Shawno

08-08-08, 10:45 PM		The manager at one of the store where I used to play D&D - to include an Eberon campaign - was a closet 'furry.'

Needless to say, 61. - 65. strike a nerve. Ewwwwwwwwww...