[Humor] "Five words can stop a thousand swords" [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTimePost
Lanodantheon

09-20-07, 10:22 PM
"Five words can stop a thousand swords" - Zil Proverb from Races of Eberron

What 5 words could stop a thousand swords? Here are a few of them:

1. "Stop now or I'll sue!"

2. "It's Boranel, he's too powerful!"

3. "I switched to Capital One."

4.(From a Sivis Scribe to a Deneith Mercenery) "Wrong form! That one's blue!"
Toloran

09-20-07, 10:37 PM
5. Don't Press the Red Button!
Paulon

09-20-07, 10:41 PM
6. Stop or the (insert hostage name) dies.
Count Nerindil Van Seraph

09-20-07, 10:47 PM
7) "Get offa my lawn, damnit!"
Kaizer_Ryu

09-20-07, 10:53 PM
2. "It's Boranel, he's too powerful!"Thread over.

The Win is just too strong in this one.

:rofl:
EvilDrPuma

09-21-07, 12:14 AM
"I can duplicate The Mourning."
Macrovore

09-21-07, 12:38 AM
"An offer you can't refuse"
Label

09-21-07, 01:08 AM
"War is over, we won"

"I cast wall of force"
(this one can also stop a cavalry charge...)

"Hello, my name is Pun-Pun"

"Oops the ennemy can fly"
Kaizer_Ryu

09-21-07, 01:26 AM
"I prepared Explosive Runes today"
Charles Phipps

09-21-07, 01:30 AM
"I'm Elminster's analogue for Eberron."

"The ELH has its stats."

"It's CL is triple digits."
Paulon

09-21-07, 01:34 AM
"Run! It's the Forgotten Freedom!"
LordOfFists

09-21-07, 01:40 AM
"Watch out ! He's going frenzied"
"His mount is the Tarasque"
Label

09-21-07, 01:48 AM
"His mount is the Tarasque"
"****! His mount his Boranel!"

"He guys! Dinner is ready!"

"This hooker isn't a changeling!"
Kaizer_Ryu

09-21-07, 01:54 AM
:heehee

And now an homage to one of our oldest, most beloved, and downright creepiest of the running jokes in Eberron.

"HEY EVERYONE! JAELA'S LEGAL NOW!"
LordOfFists

09-21-07, 01:59 AM
"This guy easilly killed boranel !":eek: :eek: :eek:
Label

09-21-07, 02:01 AM
"This guy easilly killed boranel !":eek: :eek: :eek:

King Kaius III : "And now he's my spawn!"

"Cannith just invented the gatling"
Darth Syntax

09-21-07, 03:04 AM
Clearly the five words are:

"Sign here if you please"
SilvercatMoonpaw

09-21-07, 10:32 AM
"I have pie with me."
DragoonDarkfire

09-21-07, 10:44 AM
"You are standing on it."
Nived

09-21-07, 11:32 AM
"My Lawyer is Johnnie d'Cochran"
Artector

09-21-07, 12:16 PM
I found what pi equals. *ends existence*

"The Chamber says play nice!"

"Oalian's in the fight now!" (seriously a 20th level druid, with an army of guard trees.)
Edymnion

09-21-07, 12:22 PM
"Power Word: Mass Explosive Diarrhea!"
Count Nerindil Van Seraph

09-21-07, 12:43 PM
"I'm the god damn Batman!"
korcheck

09-21-07, 01:04 PM
"look, up in the sky...."
korcheck

09-21-07, 03:40 PM
"If the glove don't fit..."
Lanodantheon

09-21-07, 03:46 PM
Somebody's coming up, somebody serious....
eehamburg

09-21-07, 04:50 PM
OMG, Jaela's doing a striptease!
It'll make you go blind!
UGH! Is that Vol naked?
Look! A Jaela/Vol catfight!

Think what you want, but any of these could stop a war.
Yanomahir

09-21-07, 05:05 PM
To keep Darguun from attacking Zilargo:

Ready for a long occupation?

Warning: Boranel has our back.

Or a more general warning:

The Mournland? I know how.

Karrnath:

Your losses further strengthen us.
korcheck

09-21-07, 05:30 PM
House Jurasco is on strike.
Macrovore

09-21-07, 05:36 PM
"Hush! It's quiet... Too quiet..."
rampant

09-21-07, 09:33 PM
"I think I'll bake cookies."

"RUN! the chili is loose!"
Paulon

09-21-07, 09:39 PM
Quoting Sarah and Norbaz respectively?
Salla

09-21-07, 09:41 PM
Boranel: "I dropped a contact lens."

"Won't someone think of the kittens?"
bhasu

09-21-07, 10:05 PM
Who said Shifter's aren't cursed?

Couatl's can act like lemmings?

Ancient goblins really built this?

Elf clowns will eat me.
korcheck

09-22-07, 11:34 AM
WAIT, the gnomes just arrived.
Salla

09-22-07, 04:13 PM
No, not in the face!
korcheck

09-23-07, 02:26 PM
"You don't wanna do that"

Kalashtar to police: " These aren't the warforged you're looking for."
Ok so that was seven words but I couldn't help myself. PLEASE forgive me.
Papermonday

09-23-07, 02:40 PM
Please do not kill me? +Diplomacy check should do it <.<
Bluebrush

09-23-07, 03:55 PM
"Hey everybody! Free chocolate cake!"

"Is that a rust monster?"

"Sorry, wrong battlefield. Must dash."
Kaizer_Ryu

09-23-07, 04:15 PM
"Free EXP, treasure, and pie!"

"The pie is also evil."
Phantomcrossing

09-23-07, 04:26 PM
"I think I'll bake cookies."

"RUN! the chili is loose!"

Jeeze, what did I start with that damn Chili....hmm. Now to try my hand.


"New Infusion, Merrix's Nuclear Magnet"
Alas

09-24-07, 02:52 PM
"A goblin says Hastur, Hastur...?"
eehamburg

09-26-07, 06:01 PM
Look out, it's a Kender!

That will make everyone stop fighting and run for the hills.
Salla

09-26-07, 06:11 PM
Look out, it's a Kender!

That will make everyone stop fighting and run for the hills.

Or join forces and kill it.
viscen

09-28-07, 11:12 PM
"hi, this is Balin Kates." says while holding up a toad. a sorcerer who believes his familiar is the adventurer, while he himself is the human familiar(long story.)

current eberron character btw.
Dex

10-01-07, 03:20 AM
Free Beer At My Place
:pint::pint:


"A goblin says Hastur, Hastur...?"
That'd send me runnin'
eehamburg

10-01-07, 10:24 AM
Aerenal Elven Strippers Dead Ahead
House Tharashk Gives Free Lapdances
dsivis

10-04-07, 02:32 AM
Stop; hammertime! Can't touch this!
eehamburg

10-04-07, 10:27 AM
Stop; hammertime! Can't touch this!
WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!!!
Gilganarz_the_reporter

10-07-07, 07:03 AM
"I'm going to run FR"

The again, the DM who says that will probably provoke sword attacks.
dsivis

10-07-07, 02:52 PM
WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!!!

WOOHOO!

Also:

"Nobody expects the Flamic Inquisition!"
"Booze and porn over here!"
"I have the real Prophecy..."
"YOUR MOTHER WAS A CHANGELING!"
"Warhammer 40k + Eberron? WAAAGH!"
Revvecor

10-07-07, 05:05 PM
"Nobody expects the Flamic Inquisition!"
"

On this note;

"I have the comfy chair!"
"Its got big pointy teeth!"