[Humor] Arcanix: On the WB. [Archive] - Wizards Community

[Humor] Arcanix: On the WB. [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
DragoonDarkfire
07-14-07, 09:14 PM With such wonderfully humorous threads as Forgotten Freedom I have decided to start up a thread about the humor/teen drama of being a student in Arcanix. BUT THERE'S A TWIST!

Arcanix Now: To remove Last War tensions. The nations have decided to fund Arcanix collectively and the school, once merely a school for wizards and practicer's of the arcane arts, has now expanded it's curriculum and all of the major heroic (and NPC, but no one gives a crap about those) classes are taught there. Teachers and masters from all over Khorvaire have arrived to teach Eberron's next generation of heroes their skills. What will happen?

The tone: Humor or drama. I don't care really. If you want this to be a parody of all those Teen drama's on Warner Brothers then go right ahead. But remember that this is Eberron and it can be fun to have some Intrigue here and there. Not to mention some lapses of seriousness and hilarity in between. Or you could try making fun of Harry Potter. THAT ALWAYS WORKS!

Characters/Backgrounds: If you introduce a character. Then please give him a background. I don't think much else needs to be said.

________________________________________ ________

We see the buildings of Arcanix, dragonhawks fly about the sky and people walk the streets below. Once a small city of nothing but wizards, now clerics, fighters, rouges and all sorts of different characters can be seen on the streets. Through it all a young boy, no more then 19 years old walks through the city with wonder in his eyes.

He comes to the towers of Arcanix and enters to find a man sitting at the front desk.

Mark: Hi. I'm Mark. I want to know where I am.

Man: Mark? Odd name. You're in Arcanix. The finest school in Eberron.

Mark: Eberron? You mean that Dungeons and Dragons thing?

Man: What are you talking about?

Mark: Sorry. But the plot called for a random human male to get sucked out of his every day life on Earth and wind up in some mystical land so I guess they chose me for here.

Man: Oh one of those story lines?

Mark: Yea. So this is a school? I guess I better attend.

Man: Why?

Mark: Because. The protagonist of this story, a.k.a ME!, is always suppose to end up in the school/organization/random twist of fate setting. No doubt some DRAGON or something is gonna tell me I'm apart of a prophecy.

We see a dragon walk over and open it's mouth. It stops as though it were taking in Mark's words and then it sulks away.

Mark: So how do I get in?

Man: Well if you really ARE a protagonist I guess all I have to do is ask what class you are.

Mark: Class? Well I got an 98% in English.

Man: ... HA HA HA HA HA HA! No seriously kid. What are you a fighter? Paladin? Rouge? Monk?... sorcerer?

Mark: I guess I'm a... commoner. What does that get me?

We see Mark sweeping floors on Arcanix school grounds.

Mark: I should have seen this coming... I should have seen this coming...
_____________________

Mark Erafilag
A boy who grew up on Earth. Mark was an average student (well average is a normal term since technically all humans are "average" or possibly even "sub par" by Eberron standards but I continue) he was having a normal day at home when the oddest thing happened.

After his game shop owning father bought him a D&D book his house was hit by a REALITY STORM! (See Secrets of Sarlona) as to how this Reality Storm was created no one knows. What is known to Mark is that he was caught in a rip tide of thousands of different worlds coming together. The principles of Spelljammer were enacted. Thus causing Mark to wind up in Eberron.

Which was a relief, because had the dice rollen 1 lower on the d% then he would have wound up a Mary Sue character in a Yaoi Fanfic involving Drizzt Dor'unden (or however you spell his name). Now that he is inside the world of Eberron. What will happen to him next?
_____________________

WE ALREADY HAVE A BOY FROM EARTH APPEARING FOR SOME REASON NOT YET EXPLAINED! WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT!? STAY TUNED!
SilvercatMoonpaw
07-14-07, 10:09 PM OOC: As members of both the Forgotten Freedom and Shadows over Cyre thread we shall watch this with great interest and possibly join in.

Who is "we" you ask?

We have a variant of the non-existent condition known as "multiple-personality disorder". We seem to be one individual pretending to be many people, but in fact we are many people with one individual we just happen to speak through.

No, seriously. It's crowded in here.
DragoonDarkfire
07-14-07, 11:15 PM We see Mark mopping the floors. A hobgoblin walks over to him.

Hobgoblin: Hey kid.

Mark: Let me guess. You're the bully character meant to provide me with a random beating?

Hobgoblin: Actually I was-

Mark: AND NO DOUBT. That you'll act all tough and say things like 'GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH GOLD!' or 'I'M GONNA POUND THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU'.

Hobgoblin: Look kid I was-

Mark: AND THEN! It'll all lead up to some big climactic showdown when I push you back and then we're suppose to 'rumble' and I get the snot kicked out of me right?

Hobgoblin: Look. I was asking where the bathroom is but if you're gonna be an ass about it. Fine.

Hobgoblin walks away.

Mark: ... SORRY!... BY THE WAY! THE BATHROOM IS THAT WAY!

The hobgoblin walks past him in the opposite direction.

Hobgoblin: Thanks.

We later see Mark and the Hobgoblin walking together through Arcanix.

Mark: And that's basically how I ended up here.

Hobgoblin: You mean to say there are NO hobgoblins in your world?

Mark: Nope. None.

Hobgoblin: Wow... and there AREN'T people with tattoos that allow them to tap into the magic of the prophecy?

Mark: There isn't even magic in my world.

Hobgoblin: WOAAAAAAAAA... that is weird. By the way my name is Tusk.

Mark: Nice to meet you Tusk.

_________________________________

Tusk

Tusk is a hobgoblin who was born in Darguun. Though he was trained from an early age to be a brutal and fierce warrior. Tusk has a gentle side to him. He rarely acts with open violence and he opposes unnecessary fighting at all costs. Often believing that diplomacy is the answer to any problem.

This has caused one of two things to happen. For one he's a master at the White Raven form of Martial Study (as diplomacy is it's associated skill) but he was also insulted a lot by his fellow Hobgoblins who often resort to "Hit people until they die first, ask questions later" as such he left the dangerous land of Darguun and went to Arcanix to learn how to improve his diplomatic skills.
__________________________________

Tusk: So Mark. What will you do now?

Mark: wait for the rest of the cast to show up... my rival, my love interest, my OTHER love interest, my nerdy best friend, my other OTHER love interest-

Tusk: That's a lot of love interests.

Mark: Oh these shows are ALWAYS like that. No doubt I'll be having women fall for me left and right soon enough.

Tusk: So who will you end up with?

Mark: It'll remain undecided until the show gets canned. In the end I'll probably end up with the shy, quiet, seemingly unattractive girl who's actually a goddess once you remove her glasses, fix her hair and put her in a beautiful gown.

Tusk: What role do I play?

Mark: You're the seemingly tough guy with a heart of gold.

Tusk: Well actually my heart is made of tissue and blood cells.

Mark: ...

Tusk: ... I'm just saying. If you want a heart of gold then I suggest you ask that Warforged Bard, Barry Whitesteel.

We see a Warforged made completely out of solid gold.

Barry: My DARLING I!... Can't get enough of your love BAAAAAAABY... yea I don't know, I don't know why... can't get enough of your love. BAAAAABY!

Cuts back to Mark and Tusk.

Mark: OH and there will probably be a Villain. Ala: Voldemort.

Tusk: Who?

Mark: Voldemort. Ya know? That guy from Harry Potter?

Tusk: What's Harry Potter?

After an explanation.

Mark: That's Harry Potter.

Tusk: Aren't you at a wizards school?... well FORMER wizards school.

Mark: Yes. That's why we wait for the villain to show up. So do you know anyone that would make a good villain?

Tusk: Let's see here... There's the Devourer of Dreams, Belashyrra the lord of eyes, the emerald claw, Vol the Lich queen, Sul Khatesh...

Five hours later...

Tusk: The ENTIRE Lords of Dust, the dragons of Argonessen, the quori of Dal Quor-

Mark: ALRIGHT I GET IT!

Everyone is looking at Mark. He looks around aquardly and sinks away.

Mark: I'm gonna go clean up the cafeteria...

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
DragoonDarkfire 07-14-07, 09:14 PM	With such wonderfully humorous threads as Forgotten Freedom I have decided to start up a thread about the humor/teen drama of being a student in Arcanix. BUT THERE'S A TWIST! Arcanix Now: To remove Last War tensions. The nations have decided to fund Arcanix collectively and the school, once merely a school for wizards and practicer's of the arcane arts, has now expanded it's curriculum and all of the major heroic (and NPC, but no one gives a crap about those) classes are taught there. Teachers and masters from all over Khorvaire have arrived to teach Eberron's next generation of heroes their skills. What will happen? The tone: Humor or drama. I don't care really. If you want this to be a parody of all those Teen drama's on Warner Brothers then go right ahead. But remember that this is Eberron and it can be fun to have some Intrigue here and there. Not to mention some lapses of seriousness and hilarity in between. Or you could try making fun of Harry Potter. THAT ALWAYS WORKS! Characters/Backgrounds: If you introduce a character. Then please give him a background. I don't think much else needs to be said. ________________________________________ ________ We see the buildings of Arcanix, dragonhawks fly about the sky and people walk the streets below. Once a small city of nothing but wizards, now clerics, fighters, rouges and all sorts of different characters can be seen on the streets. Through it all a young boy, no more then 19 years old walks through the city with wonder in his eyes. He comes to the towers of Arcanix and enters to find a man sitting at the front desk. Mark: Hi. I'm Mark. I want to know where I am. Man: Mark? Odd name. You're in Arcanix. The finest school in Eberron. Mark: Eberron? You mean that Dungeons and Dragons thing? Man: What are you talking about? Mark: Sorry. But the plot called for a random human male to get sucked out of his every day life on Earth and wind up in some mystical land so I guess they chose me for here. Man: Oh one of those story lines? Mark: Yea. So this is a school? I guess I better attend. Man: Why? Mark: Because. The protagonist of this story, a.k.a ME!, is always suppose to end up in the school/organization/random twist of fate setting. No doubt some DRAGON or something is gonna tell me I'm apart of a prophecy. We see a dragon walk over and open it's mouth. It stops as though it were taking in Mark's words and then it sulks away. Mark: So how do I get in? Man: Well if you really ARE a protagonist I guess all I have to do is ask what class you are. Mark: Class? Well I got an 98% in English. Man: ... HA HA HA HA HA HA! No seriously kid. What are you a fighter? Paladin? Rouge? Monk?... sorcerer? Mark: I guess I'm a... commoner. What does that get me? We see Mark sweeping floors on Arcanix school grounds. Mark: I should have seen this coming... I should have seen this coming... _____________________ Mark Erafilag A boy who grew up on Earth. Mark was an average student (well average is a normal term since technically all humans are "average" or possibly even "sub par" by Eberron standards but I continue) he was having a normal day at home when the oddest thing happened. After his game shop owning father bought him a D&D book his house was hit by a REALITY STORM! (See Secrets of Sarlona) as to how this Reality Storm was created no one knows. What is known to Mark is that he was caught in a rip tide of thousands of different worlds coming together. The principles of Spelljammer were enacted. Thus causing Mark to wind up in Eberron. Which was a relief, because had the dice rollen 1 lower on the d% then he would have wound up a Mary Sue character in a Yaoi Fanfic involving Drizzt Dor'unden (or however you spell his name). Now that he is inside the world of Eberron. What will happen to him next? _____________________ WE ALREADY HAVE A BOY FROM EARTH APPEARING FOR SOME REASON NOT YET EXPLAINED! WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT!? STAY TUNED!
SilvercatMoonpaw 07-14-07, 10:09 PM	OOC: As members of both the Forgotten Freedom and Shadows over Cyre thread we shall watch this with great interest and possibly join in. Who is "we" you ask? We have a variant of the non-existent condition known as "multiple-personality disorder". We seem to be one individual pretending to be many people, but in fact we are many people with one individual we just happen to speak through. No, seriously. It's crowded in here.
DragoonDarkfire 07-14-07, 11:15 PM	We see Mark mopping the floors. A hobgoblin walks over to him. Hobgoblin: Hey kid. Mark: Let me guess. You're the bully character meant to provide me with a random beating? Hobgoblin: Actually I was- Mark: AND NO DOUBT. That you'll act all tough and say things like 'GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH GOLD!' or 'I'M GONNA POUND THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU'. Hobgoblin: Look kid I was- Mark: AND THEN! It'll all lead up to some big climactic showdown when I push you back and then we're suppose to 'rumble' and I get the snot kicked out of me right? Hobgoblin: Look. I was asking where the bathroom is but if you're gonna be an ass about it. Fine. Hobgoblin walks away. Mark: ... SORRY!... BY THE WAY! THE BATHROOM IS THAT WAY! The hobgoblin walks past him in the opposite direction. Hobgoblin: Thanks. We later see Mark and the Hobgoblin walking together through Arcanix. Mark: And that's basically how I ended up here. Hobgoblin: You mean to say there are NO hobgoblins in your world? Mark: Nope. None. Hobgoblin: Wow... and there AREN'T people with tattoos that allow them to tap into the magic of the prophecy? Mark: There isn't even magic in my world. Hobgoblin: WOAAAAAAAAA... that is weird. By the way my name is Tusk. Mark: Nice to meet you Tusk. _________________________________ Tusk Tusk is a hobgoblin who was born in Darguun. Though he was trained from an early age to be a brutal and fierce warrior. Tusk has a gentle side to him. He rarely acts with open violence and he opposes unnecessary fighting at all costs. Often believing that diplomacy is the answer to any problem. This has caused one of two things to happen. For one he's a master at the White Raven form of Martial Study (as diplomacy is it's associated skill) but he was also insulted a lot by his fellow Hobgoblins who often resort to "Hit people until they die first, ask questions later" as such he left the dangerous land of Darguun and went to Arcanix to learn how to improve his diplomatic skills. __________________________________ Tusk: So Mark. What will you do now? Mark: wait for the rest of the cast to show up... my rival, my love interest, my OTHER love interest, my nerdy best friend, my other OTHER love interest- Tusk: That's a lot of love interests. Mark: Oh these shows are ALWAYS like that. No doubt I'll be having women fall for me left and right soon enough. Tusk: So who will you end up with? Mark: It'll remain undecided until the show gets canned. In the end I'll probably end up with the shy, quiet, seemingly unattractive girl who's actually a goddess once you remove her glasses, fix her hair and put her in a beautiful gown. Tusk: What role do I play? Mark: You're the seemingly tough guy with a heart of gold. Tusk: Well actually my heart is made of tissue and blood cells. Mark: ... Tusk: ... I'm just saying. If you want a heart of gold then I suggest you ask that Warforged Bard, Barry Whitesteel. We see a Warforged made completely out of solid gold. Barry: My DARLING I!... Can't get enough of your love BAAAAAAABY... yea I don't know, I don't know why... can't get enough of your love. BAAAAABY! Cuts back to Mark and Tusk. Mark: OH and there will probably be a Villain. Ala: Voldemort. Tusk: Who? Mark: Voldemort. Ya know? That guy from Harry Potter? Tusk: What's Harry Potter? After an explanation. Mark: That's Harry Potter. Tusk: Aren't you at a wizards school?... well FORMER wizards school. Mark: Yes. That's why we wait for the villain to show up. So do you know anyone that would make a good villain? Tusk: Let's see here... There's the Devourer of Dreams, Belashyrra the lord of eyes, the emerald claw, Vol the Lich queen, Sul Khatesh... Five hours later... Tusk: The ENTIRE Lords of Dust, the dragons of Argonessen, the quori of Dal Quor- Mark: ALRIGHT I GET IT! Everyone is looking at Mark. He looks around aquardly and sinks away. Mark: I'm gonna go clean up the cafeteria...