Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Killer GM 11-11-04, 12:52 AM	Okay, here's the deal. I originally posted this over at RPG.net in a thread where we described our favorite settings as bad movie trailers (http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=153703) . I figured people here would find it amusing, so I edited it a little and reposted it here. The trailer for Eberron: The Movie. And I just want to say in advance: Sorry, Keith. In a world... (We pan over a large fantasy city, consiting mainly of tall buildings connected by walkways) ...where magic exists... (Cut to a wizard casting "Summon CGI Effect") ...and monsters roam the countryside... (Pan over a battlefield covered with bodies, and what appears to be a large crab with corpses and weapons stuck to it crawling over the piles) ...one man... (Cut to Jeremy Irons, dressed up in an outfit that looks cheesier than his D&D movie one. Yes, I'm sure that's possible.) EVILLIANOUS (Jeremy Irons): (insane grin directly into the camera) Soon... ...seeks to destoy it all. (Long shot of a battlefield, and a large wave of magic energy knocking over an army. Looks suspiciously similar to a shot from the first Really Big Fantasy Trilogy Movie.) ...and only one group of heroes... (Shot of a male dwarf, a male human, a robot-looking thing, and a half-animal-looking woman staring up at a heroic angle) ...can stop him. (Big music sting to wake the audience up) Val Kilmer! (Shot of a drunk-looking, black-haired swordsman sitting at a bar as armed thugs surround him.) MAD MORGAN (Val Kilmer): (sighs into his drink) Let's get this over with. (He draws his sword with lighting speed, and explodes into a ball of TOTAL BUTT KICKING. He is totally cool.) Halle Berry! (We see a darkened room. A black figure slinks across the floor, up to a vanity with a jewlery box. The figure stands in the moonlight slowly, to reveal a Halle with cat ears and a twitching, CG'd tail, wearing an outfit tigher and skimpier than her Catwoman costume. She opens the jewelry box, and lifts out a diamond necklace, which glints in the moonlight.) TABBY (Halle Berry): Oooh...sparkly... Mike Meyers! (Shot of a workshop. A dwarvish artificer is sitting at a table, putting something together.) SHRACK GIMMEL (Mike Meyers): (thick Scottish accent) Ah think ah got it t'is tayme... (The object on the bench explodes in a flash of light and smoke. When the smoke clears, Throd's face is covered in soot, his eyes wide. He makes an "oops, my bad" face, extending his index finger to his pursed lips.) and Chris Tucker! (Shot of a CG'd warforged standing in a street. It's metal skin is a brownish, coppery tone, but with silver, diamond, and platnum components standing out on it's chest, arms, and hands. He easily beats down a half-dozen armed thugs.) BLING (voice of Chris Tucker): Damn, why you peoples gotta be trippin'? HuhHuhHuhHuhHuh? These unlikely heroes must band together... (Morgan and Tabby are face-to-face, arguing.) MORGAN: I hate you! TABBY: I hate YOU!! (Pause. Then they kiss. Duh.) ...to defeat an unstoppable foe. (The heroes stand before a large army, with Evillianous hover above it, laughing hysterically. And evilly.) SHRACK: Ah've got a bahd feelin' aboot this.... EBERRON: THE RING OF LORDS. Coming soon. (An overhead shot of the city, near a tower. Suddenly, Mad Morgan and another person come crashing out a window, swordfighting even as they fall. Cut to the others looking out the broken window in shock.) BLING: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn! (beat) That white boy crazy. Rated PG-13 for violence, Halle Berry's outfit, mild peril, and overuse of Chris Tucker. (Over the title card, we hear Irons laughing. It goes on a little longer, and gets more manic, than is comfortable.)
ImmortalBlueMage 11-11-04, 05:39 AM	oh...my...god...can't...stop...laughing! :rofl:
ImmortalBlueMage 11-11-04, 05:44 AM	Now that I've composed myself *snicker*, you forgot the obligatory "Big Scary CGI Monster" shot, aka, the "We Couldn't Afford a Cave Troll" shot. (Shot off an enormous blue-scaled Behir rearing up. It would look really scary if it weren't obviously the work of a third year computer graphics major in college.) (Val Kilmer and Mike Meyers exchange exaggeratedly fearful glances.) Schrack: Ah doont think he likes yeh!
Just another user 11-11-04, 08:27 AM	Hey, I'd see it. But, OTOH, I like "good" B-movies. :)
JDubTrafficGod 11-11-04, 08:48 AM	You also forgot to make something explode big. BIG EXPLODY = 50 million dollar opening weekend. :D
Joni-san 11-11-04, 11:32 AM	*Snip* EVILLIANOUS *Snip* Rated PG-13 for violence, Halle Berry's outfit, mild peril, and overuse of Chris Tucker. *Snip?* (Over the title card, we hear Irons laughing. It goes on a little longer, and gets more manic, than is comfortable.) Evil people don't have miscaleneus things to do, they have... EVILLIANOUS! things to do? :tongue: To quote Pedro: NOOOOoooo!!! Funny Thread :heehee
ArthurQ 11-11-04, 11:42 AM	You bastard! I just spurted orange soda all over my laptop cause of you! *chuckles and cleans up*
twoDtwenty 11-11-04, 12:32 PM	I think I sense a blockbusting trilogy coming. With a cast like that you wouldn't even have to write a script, just promote it like theres no tommorrow, take the money and head for the islands to live like a Baron-king on the favorable exchange rate.
JohnnyONeal 11-11-04, 02:43 PM	Ahahahaha! I'll have to incorporate Bling into my next new adventure.
JDubTrafficGod 11-11-04, 03:20 PM	One other thing you forgot... The hot and steamy Dwarven Love scene with Mike Myers playing both Gimmel and his hairy Dwarven Mistress Matilda. ... its a story of never ending love. (Cut to scene of Gimmel panting as he looks up at Matilda wielding a whip in her Xena Warrior Princess outfit) *Audience's Begin to Vomit Uncontrollably*
JDubTrafficGod 11-11-04, 05:21 PM	Killer, I think I killed your thread... Sorry. Some people just don't find kinky Dwarf love amusing. Me personally, I've been giggling about it all afternoon. :ayyyy!:
SirLoin 11-11-04, 07:10 PM	Just make sure someone has Blue lipstick. That is the key. Blue Lips. If I saw a bad guy with blue lipstick I would run. There is that off-chance that if he rolls a 20...well lets just say you don't wanna be HIS prisoner. "It puts the lotion in the basket."
Killer GM 11-11-04, 09:41 PM	You bastard! I just spurted orange soda all over my laptop cause of you! *chuckles and cleans up* That is the best compliment I could have gotten.
Kinger 11-11-04, 11:08 PM	I think I'll try my hand at this, though I don't think I can compete with Chris Tucker as a warforged named "Bling." Trailer opens overlooking CGI Sharn, towering spires occasionally blocking the setting sun as the camera pans about it. Unconvincing lenseflare every time sun is visible. A rousing orchestral score plays. You know, that same score used in Gladiator, K-19, and The Alamo. You know the one. NARRATOR OF BLOCKBUSTER MOVIES (You know it's the same guy that does EVERY one): "In a world of intrigue..." Cut to shadowy sewers. Shifter emerges from shadows, fur sprouting about his face as he snarls into the camera. Cut to the Warforged Saber (Governor Arnold in a Tin Man costume), still in sewers, bellows into camera with broadsword raised. NARRATOR: "A world of danger..." Cut to inside of seedy bar. Lady Elaydren (Angelina Jolie displaying ample cleavage) smiles seductively/knowingly, lifts a large sack of coins and places it on the table in front of the camera. Camera rotates about sack for a breif reaction shot of the adventuring party (composed of Orlando Bloom in bad leather armour and a pencilled-in mustache, Natalie Portman in a "wizard" get-up that looks like it's made of curtains (and likely is) but still manages to show a bare midriff, and Orlando Jones (yes, two Orlandos), all looking disbelievingly at the amount of gold on the table (or Angelina's cleavage). NARRATOR: "A world of friends..." JONES: "Dayum." Cut to dirty marketplace where bad CGI goblin that looks WAY too much like Gollum rubs two fingers together and grins evilly. NARRATOR: "And enemies..." Cut to rain-drenched bridge. A cloaked body lies in the foreground of the frame, and Bloom leans over, looking concerned, lifting the hood. Portman looks shocked, hands over her mouth, and Jones looks about, worried NARRATOR: "Three companions must unlock a mystery..." Cut to close-up of diary in Bloom's hand, still dripping with rain. The arcane mark on its cover glistens with unconvincing effect. NARRATOR: "Long forgotten." Cut to sewers again. Bloom holds a torch aloft and peers past the camera. Portman stands behind with hands on his shoulder, looking onward as well. Jones stands in the back, ankle deep in muck, looking in disgust at his feet. Jones: "So, what's this thing we're..." Music immediately stops, replaced only by slow, deep beating of base drum and progressively climbing violins. Jones: "Looking... for..." Camera cuts to same scene, but behind Bloom. He turns to the camera, away from the torch, but remains curiously visible. He looks "afraid." Violins reach there peak and all sound stops as Bloom speaks. Bloom: "Run." Cut to battle-scene montage, complete with sudden choir score akin to the latter half of O Fortuna. - Jones ducks beneath the broadsword swung by Arnold, which crashes into the sewer wall and sends out a cloud of plaster dust. Accompanying "crash" sound. - Bloom runs up a wall Prince-of-Persia-Style (only with wires) and lands behind a Shifter thug. - Bad CGI lightning courses over Portman's hands as she extends them towards the camera. - Bloom (or his stunt double) vaults away from the camera over a charging Iron Defender (which is an obvious CGI effect akin to the Beastwars cartoon). - Viewed from behind, Portman (or a double) parries a sword attack from a shifter thug with her quarterstaff. Jones jumps on the thug from behind, piggyback, and wraps his arms about his head. - Bloom parries swords from two off-camera opponents, or at least appears to. - CGI Horrid Rat bares dripping fangs and leaps at camera. Arnold stands atop a tall rock with crossbow ready and pointed at camera. Camera zooms over and around the flaming bolt and follows it as it is fired. The bolt flies through the cavern and explodes against the wall of a collapsed building. Cut to party cowering from explosion. Jones: "Think he's happy to see us?" Quick cut to Bloom rapidly attacking Arnold with his sword. Arnold parries and backpedals to the left of the camera. Scene lasts for three sword clangs, emphasized by staccato choir notes. Cut back to previous scene. Bloom: "Probably not." Cut to Arnold, looking down on the camera and attempting to look menacing. He thrusts his sword towards the camera and the camera cuts to black. The choir abrubtly stops. There is a beat pause, then the title appears in the blackness in faux-calligraphy. The narrator reads off the name for those that can't. NARRATOR: "Eberron: The Forgotten Forge." Obligatory credits flash on screen as narrator speaks in ridiculously rapid fashion because time is running out in the 2 minute spot. NARRATOR: "StartsMay15intheatreseverywhereThisfilmh asnotyetbeenrated." THE END. Wow. That took longer than I thought.
N'wah 11-11-04, 11:08 PM	You know, I hate to say it, but Bling is the best warforged I've ever heard of. I smell buddy cop spinoff! Akarahan the kalashtar cop: I don't care how you used to handle things down in the Cogs, but up here in Dura we do it BY THE BOOKS! Bling: Whatcha talin' 'bout, Akarahan? (Gangsta arm-fold pose) -N'wah
Korhal IV 11-12-04, 03:10 AM	Awesome try, Kinger, but you can't compete with the Killer. Thanks both of you, although you might be surprised to know that there *is* a third D&D movie in the works...
JDubTrafficGod 11-12-04, 05:56 AM	YaY for that! Now pardon me while I go and ponder the weight values over killing myself or watching another movie that makes me cry at night. On the other hand if we had Killer writing and directing the script then maybe I could handle it, but only if there is dwarn lovin'. :weep: I think I've gained an obsession.
Kinger 11-12-04, 07:58 AM	...although you might be surprised to know that there *is* a third D&D movie in the works... Whoa whoa whoa... there was a SECOND?
CzarGarrett 11-12-04, 11:18 AM	The second is just finished (or just about finished) and going strait to video. All I can say is I'd definately see both of those movies.
Kinger 11-12-04, 01:54 PM	You know, I hate to say it, but Bling is the best warforged I've ever heard of. I smell buddy cop spinoff! I dunno... Doesn't smell too much like a buddy cop show to me. Sounds more like "Bling: Freelance Inquisitive." Of course, that might be stepping on the toes of Haft. Y'know... "Who's the warforged that's a sex machine to all the chicks?" "Haft!" "They say this cat Haft is a bad mutha-" "Shut yo mouth!" Hmmm... Bling is now sounding to me less like the protagonist and more of a sidekick/informant. Think Huggie Bear. If anything, that's good, since whenever Bling is onscreen he's comedy gold, and you don't have to worry about what he's like when he's not funny. 'Course, you can't knock the whole straight-laced Kalashtar vs. jive-talkin' streetwise Warforged element. That would be sweet.
Alexius D'Cannith 11-12-04, 04:55 PM	ooh ooh my turn obligatory sun setting on a plain with vaguly japanese inspired music Angelina Jolie : The last war ended 2 years ago but its legacy is still with us Que big booming drum beat epic music as we pan to see a massive army of undead collide with an army of forged while in the back ground a suspicioulsly nuke like effect goes off and grey mist rolls over the lands AJ : Somewhere in the mists of the mournland lie the secrets of the most powerful magic ever used Cut to show AJ in Elaydren gear then pan to Ben Affleck as halfelven rouge/fighter type Ben Affleck : So whats the catch? Dramatic choir music as we flick between scenes of halflings on Raptors, Valenar with double scimitars on horse back, Slathering hordes of goblins throwing rocks from a cliff, The smelly streets of Rukhan Draal, a corpse crab,, half a dozen emerald claw in full armour with symboled shields doing some parade threat gesture and finally a long reveal of Garrow the Vampire (Christopher lee of course) turning around to show his teeth and eyes Cut back to Arnie the Warfoged The Governator : You had to ask girly fleshie caption Chance has brought them together Pan through Ben Affleck standing on a ship deck clashing with pirates, Arnie wrestling with orcs in random rough local then Natalie portman in Skimpy wizard robes Natalie Portman : I was born in Cyre, and now all thats left of my homeland is a thousand mile long land of grey mist that noone has come back from Shifter Hugh Jackman is retracting his claws and teeth and looking less werewolf like Hugh Jackman : You ask the impossible and go to your doom Half Breed sounds like fun caption a Terrible secret awaits them scene of ancient door opening slowly before them AS : We were not meant to come here scenes of dessimated rose quary, a bubbling pool of molten metal and a pair of huge cgi fire elementals HJ : And here was me thinking this was going to be hard caption evil will confront them Dark cloaked Warforged hands bag of gold to kobolds on a rainy storm tossed night Switch to Garrow Christopher lee (garrow) : On second thoughts, Kill them. EBERRON : SHADOWS OF THE LAST WAR Rated over the top for acting, Excessive Natlie Portman Cleavage and gratuitous use of Ben Affleck's smile, and using Hugh Jackman as a wolf person again,
Kinger 11-12-04, 05:25 PM	...and using Hugh Jackman as a wolf person again... Dammit, I wish I'd thought of that. :) Give him amnesia, too. And Christopher Lee as Garrow... I could SO see that. At least, Garrow in vampire guise. Whoops! Spoiler! :eek: You're missing the token funnyguy in the party, though. Mine's got Orlando Jones (y'know, the former 7-up guy), and Killer's got the toss up between Chris Tucker's Bling and the dwarf Mike Meyers. Okay, granted, you've got the bad***** in both Hugh Wolfman and the Governator (someone I now realize is sorely missing from my movie), the T&A quotient is filled by Portman and Jolie, and then you've given the girls someone to put posters of up on their walls with a half-elf Affleck. But where's the guy to make the one-liner comments? The "comic" relief (note the quotations)? Who will the 12 year olds laugh at? Arney? Nah. Still... I'd see it. This is fun. :thumbsup:
Alexius D'Cannith 11-12-04, 05:47 PM	Hum yes i need a comedy character, pan to a green field with a sickeningly familiar CGI character Jar Jar Binks : Hello Boyos Meeza Back!
Kinger 11-12-04, 05:49 PM	Dear god, NO!! Too late! The image! It's in my brain! AUGH!!! Must... free... mind... :banghead:
Bluebrush 11-12-04, 06:01 PM	I propose that someone try to make this film. Through the medium of Lego!
MarkB 11-12-04, 06:54 PM	Excellent ideas so far, but you're missing two things: Big, hugely impressive but just slightly fake-looking CGI airship battle And Keanu Reeves as a Kalashtar wizard. "Spells. Lots of spells."
Alexius D'Cannith 11-12-04, 07:45 PM	your ruining the plot for EBERRON 2 : THE RIEDERAN WARS which i will be posting soon
Gurv 11-12-04, 09:00 PM	[QUOTE=MarkB] Big, hugely impressive but just slightly fake-looking CGI airship battle QUOTE] Angelina Jolie as Capt. Francesca "Franky" d'Lyrandar: "Alert the amphibious squadron!"
RadicalTaoist 11-13-04, 05:08 PM	And Keanu Reeves as a Kalashtar wizard. "Spells. Lots of spells."Naw, Fist-of-Zuoken equivalent. Maybe Enlightened Fist/Artificer or Fist of Zuoken/Artificer with Dual Wield Wand? Cut to a scene of three shadow enchanted mithral warforged breaking down a door. Behind it stands a character in black, waiting for them. "Hello fellas." "It's him. Do we proceed?" "Yes. After all, he is still -" Cut to 0.5 secs of quick scenes of kung fu, then back to warforged - only human." Hero in black proceeds to humilate three warforged psychic warriors. Over the fast-paced techno fight music, cut to close up on a kalashtar elder. All our lives we have fought this war...today, I believe we can end it. Cut to heroine in a fight scene with an Inspired manifesting crazy CGI combat buff. "That's a nice trick." Cut back to our boy in black, dodges a battlefist to land in a handstand, staring into the warforged that almost smashed him. "Hmm. Upgrades." *WHAP*POW* return to some warforged humiliation. If someone can translate the entire Matrix Reloaded trailer into Eberron they get :cookie: :cookie: :cookie: :cookie: oh, and people might like this thread (http://boards.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=316013&page=2&pp=30)
Alexius D'Cannith 11-13-04, 05:53 PM	delivering on my earlier promise and spot the references Sunset camera pans down from horizon sweeping in between the towers of mighty sharn, then as a wailing choiral music begins we see a tidal wave striking at the lower lhalf of sharn Sam L Jackson : As of this day at sunset we are officially at war with the empire of Riedera caption An army of darkness from a far away land cue epic sweeping vista of vast army formed into formations, among the units black robed individuals are floating through the air arms folded Caption A Continent Divded Gary Oldman : As King i will not take the Karrnathi people into another terrible war Jeremy Irons as an elf: And you would have my Valenar throw themselves upon Riederan blades to spare your own? I think not. Caption One man must lead his friends to their destiny Flashes of faces, Ben Affleck the Half elf, Hugh Jackman the shifter, Natalie Portman the Wizard, Arnie the Warforged and Elijah wood as comedy Halfling Judy Dench (dressed all in white): You must confront the dark forces of the Riederan, penetrate their empire on the continent of Sarlona and kill the Warmaster Zalandar, It is your destiny, HJ : At least we will die well, Cue rapid sequences of Hugh fighting Empty vessels, An Inspired looking and nodding at some minions who then draw weapons and leave, Arnie fighting Empty Vessels, Natalie fighting with magic against an inspired BA : All right lets do it JD : By your example all will fight or be conquered, consider it a test Vague flash of what might be a white dragon, more fighitng including ben fighting on a plain, Karrnathi undead marching alongside forged led by the LoB Ben rips the bracer+glove off his left arm revealing a greater dragonmark as the sky darkens and lightning rains from above, BA : I didnt come this far to give up! Fleet of air ships throwing lightning bolts at Riederan army Hayden Christanson (all in black with a curved longsword) : You have come here only to fail EBERRON 2 THE RIEDERAN WAR
MarkB 11-13-04, 06:35 PM	Flashes of faces, Ben Affleck the Half elf, Hugh Jackman the shifter, Natalie Portman the Wizard, Arnie the Warforged and Elijah wood as comedy Halfling On comedy dinosaur! Must have comic-relief cute CGI velociraptor!!! :D Possibly voiced by Eddie Murphy. ;) Aside from that, excellent. :)
Killer GM 11-14-04, 01:55 AM	Naw, Fist-of-Zuoken equivalent. Maybe Enlightened Fist/Artificer or Fist of Zuoken/Artificer with Dual Wield Wand? Cut to a scene of three shadow enchanted mithral warforged breaking down a door. Behind it stands a character in black, waiting for them. "Hello fellas." "It's him. Do we proceed?" "Yes. After all, he is still -" Cut to 0.5 secs of quick scenes of kung fu, then back to warforged - only human." Hero in black proceeds to humilate three warforged psychic warriors. Over the fast-paced techno fight music, cut to close up on a kalashtar elder. All our lives we have fought this war...today, I believe we can end it. Cut to heroine in a fight scene with an Inspired manifesting crazy CGI combat buff. "That's a nice trick." Cut back to our boy in black, dodges a battlefist to land in a handstand, staring into the warforged that almost smashed him. "Hmm. Upgrades." *WHAP*POW* return to some warforged humiliation. [/URL] Oh, lord, I can see it now. Morpeous: "The whole purpose of the Matrix is to turn human beings...into this." (holds up a character sheet.)
Korhal IV 11-14-04, 03:20 PM	Morpeous: "The whole purpose of the Matrix is to turn human beings...into this." (holds up a character sheet.) :rofl: Quick, someone get Photoshop! We can do that!
Kuraito 07-14-06, 06:24 PM	I got one. Female Child Voice-Over: There is a world... Camera pans over a large part of the world, going from horizon to horizon, lakes, forest, planes, ends on a city Child:A world where evil...it doesn't sleep...It doesn't wait.........Its already won. Well...almost. Movie Preview guys voice:This summer.. See an older man run, jump and slid under a closing stone door. Just barely makes it to the other side, rolls over and lays face up for just a moment, before saying in the scottish acent. SC: "I'm to old for this..." Narrator: Sean Connery. See Connery and a much younger man in a circular room. The younger one reachs out and takes something shiny off a stand. SC: No lad! Stone doors slam shut and the ceiling starts lowering slowly RR: Oops... Narrator:Ryan Reynolds. See the two of them standing in a dark corridor when they see something big start clunking towards them. RR: What the hell is that!? SC: That lad, is a warforged, and you best hope hes freindly... *warforged comes into veiw and says...* TR: I heard you two might need some help? Narrator: The Rock. *Flash to see The Rock beating the crap out of various people, finishing with a big clothesline. Someone jumps out behind him only to catch an arrow in the chest before he can take The Rock by surprise. An elf girl jumps down gracefully and smiles at the rest of the group* JB: Hey guys. I'm the healer you asked for. RR: *looks up and mouths* Thank You. Narrator: Jessica Biel. See a large, bald, black man sitting on a throne, looking into a crystal ball. SLJ: So, this is the group thats gonna save the world.....*Laugh* Narrator: And Samual L. Jackson in..... DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: EBBERON *Flash back to the dark corridor, right after The Rocks intro* RR: *Sizes The Rock up* I could take him. TR: *raises eyebrow* In theaters this summer, this movie is not yet rated
Kinger 07-14-06, 11:43 PM	Holy Thread Necromancy, Batman! ;)
ChaoticGood 07-15-06, 12:17 AM	See a large, bald, black man sitting on a throne, looking into a crystal ball. SLJ: So, this is the group thats gonna save the world.....*Laugh* OK, this seemed to get off to a good start, but... I'm not sure which of the Eberron plotlines this ties into. Is Samuel Jackson's character a "canon" villain? Or just a standard BBEG wizard? Personally, I'd love to see movies based on some of the published plotlines... One that sprins immediately to mind would be a group of adventurers discovering Kaius' secret, with a dramatic twist ending wherein he tells them the truth of his fall while staked and held at swordpoint, bringing them to shame with the love he has for his people... That would make an amazing film.
Kuraito 07-15-06, 01:06 AM	OK, this seemed to get off to a good start, but... I'm not sure which of the Eberron plotlines this ties into. Is Samuel Jackson's character a "canon" villain? Or just a standard BBEG wizard? Personally, I'd love to see movies based on some of the published plotlines... One that sprins immediately to mind would be a group of adventurers discovering Kaius' secret, with a dramatic twist ending wherein he tells them the truth of his fall while staked and held at swordpoint, bringing them to shame with the love he has for his people... That would make an amazing film. I was thinking Kaius actually. He's already got the swordplay training from Star Wars and hes a hell of an actor, so he'd make a good villian. I left it vague as I'm not as familar with the ebberon story arcs as the others. Hes INTENDED as Kaius by default though. Also, the girl in the begining is Jaela, who would pop up in the movie. As to the others, Ryan Reynolds(rogue) fits the humor arc easily and likewise hes got the training needed to pull off a combat effective Rogue type thanks to Blade Trinity. Likewise from Blade Trinity, we have Jessica Biel(cleric) who has the training(especially with a bow). She has worked with Ryan before, she fills the hottie role and the two of them are also in charge of the romance arc. Connery(rogue or artificer) is a grizzled vertern explorer, and hes just friggen cool. Finally, The Rock(warforged fighter) can of course handle the action heavy scenes of this movie easily and he fits the role of the beat stick well, while still contributing humor and character growth as well. Probably should have added an arcanist to, but i couldn't think of a good actor.
Kresalak 07-15-06, 01:40 AM	I have to say that, of all the threads that have been bumped, this one deserved it most. Now I need to do one...
davethebrave371 08-11-06, 08:30 PM	SO bumped. :rofl:
Gilganarz_the_reporter 08-15-06, 05:37 AM	I have been coming up with one for the queen of burning eyes. I just need to find suitable actors to fill the roles...
Ravenscroft 08-15-06, 07:15 AM	I have been coming up with one for the queen of burning eyes. I just need to find suitable actors to fill the roles... How about Steve Irwin! With Adam & Jamie from Mythbusters.
Mister_Andersen 08-16-06, 01:46 PM	I want to see someone Eberronise "Snakes on a Plane"
Killer GM 08-16-06, 11:14 PM	I want to see someone Eberronise "Snakes on a Plane" "We got yuan-ti on this mother-*bleep*ing airship!"
Mister_Andersen 08-17-06, 07:13 AM	"We got yuan-ti on this mother-*bleep*ing airship!" Well, that's a little like cheating...
Aneul 08-17-06, 04:32 PM	White screen fades out, revealing a scorched desert plain. The ruins of a great city (Metrol) are visible in the distance, and small pieces of debris are scattered across the dusty expanses. A mysterious score strikes up, and a flash off purpleish magical energy fills the screen for an instant, as the camera pans forward. Just visible in the midst of the arcane flare is a vaguely recocnizable humanoid face. Face: I have defied Giants and Demons... The flickering face disapears for an instant, and as the camera continues to pan forwards, a ruined structure comes into view. With a flash, the face returns, more solid seeming and detailed. Face: I am your shield.... I am your sword. As the face flikers once more out of existance, the score swells stirringly, and from the shattered building a towering figure emerges. In the lead, a battered warforged bearing a crossbow steps into the light, scanning the bleak horizon. As the warforged pauses, the face returns, now a clear image of a young woman, superimposed over the 'forged. Face: I know you.... Your past.... Your future." The face disapears, and the camera pans away from the warforged, expanding the viewer's field of vision dramaticaly. As the score reaches a thrilling forte, the warforged, seen from far away, steps twords the edge of a a glowing chasm. Silouteted against the Dead Gray mists of the Mournland, the 'forged watches as a giagantic red dragon floats magesticaly overhead. Filling the air around the chasm, countless smaller dragons of all varieties converge on a central point above the rift. As the warforged watches in awe, the Dead Gray mists above the chasm begin to glow, emiting bolts of lightning. A sudden blast of wind from the depths of the chasm knocks the warforged back, and the airborn dragons begin to backpedal as a massive floating complex begins to rise from the depths of the rift. As the score reaches a fevered intensity, a glowing Khyber shard at the center of the structure pulses, and the screen goes black. The Eberron logo apears on the screen, and the voice of the Face returns, proclaiming ominously... Face: This is the way the world ends. Against the black backdrop of the screen, the Eberron logo fades, and more text apears in the same glowing faunt. "Eberron" "Wizards of the Coast" "Unleash the Mourning"
davethebrave371 08-17-06, 04:41 PM	"Unleash the Mourning" Oh come on! You have to do it as a trilogy of trailers! Where's Halo 1 and 2? Just kidding. AWESOME. I love it. That trailer gives me shivers every time.
Aneul 08-17-06, 05:40 PM	Oh come on! You have to do it as a trilogy of trailers! Where's Halo 1 and 2? Just kidding. AWESOME. I love it. That trailer gives me shivers every time. Its quite a trailer, I can't wait for Halo III. In the mean time.... EBERRON: Fall of Cyre On a black backdrop, the Wizards of the Coast Insignia glows green. As it fades, a string orchestra strikes up a soulfull chord. The Eberron Logo shimmers briefly on the screen, before fading away to reveal a glowing Eberron dragonshard. Within the shard, tendrils of orange energy collesque to form words... Mission History.... Camera redirects to view a hallway inside the floating citadel Argonth, lit by flickering torches. A heavy wooden door at the hallway's end opens, and through its steps the imposing figure of a warforged, who strides purposefully forward, grabing a repeating crossbow off a nearby weapons rack. Over the music, which has faded almost to silence, voices can be heard, as well as the clash of weapons and the booming of spells. Voice 1: Sir! Karrnathi Undead...inside our formation! Voice 2: Son- I need you to calm dow- Voice 1: Get me aditional contacts- I (obscured by backround noise0 Voice 2: Troups are already en-route, bound for rallypoint Alpha! Camera returns to the dragonshard, on the surface ofwhich new lettering has formed... Explore derelict Giant complex... Complete. Camera returns to the warforged, now following him down the passageway. Voices 1&2 engage in a heated debate. Voice 1:Admiral, you can't let them reach Argonth! Voice 2: I'm trying, General, but we lost our advantage when their Airships breached the perimeter! Camera returns to the dragonshard. Destroy hostile drow forces... Complete. Camera returns to the warforged, who boards a magical lift and drops into the bowls of Argonth. As the voices continue to argue, the warforged cooly checks his weapons. Voice 2: My airships have engaged the Talenta mercenaries... but they don't have enough punch to take out a rouge dragon! Voice 1: Your airmen let up, and down here- its the Flame-cursed apocolypse! Camera returns to Dragonshard. Neutralize adaptive Daelkyr symbiots... Complete. Camera pans to a large airship hanger. A heavy portculus slides open, and the warforged strides in. Over the music, which has grown to a ominous vibrato, the two commanders continue their heated back-and-forth. Voice 1: I'm asking you to retarget your evocations! Voice 2: And let more of them slip the kill-zone?! Thats insanity! Theres nothing more that I can do! Camera returns to the dragonshard. Outwit ancient sentient construct... Complete. Camera returns to the warforged, who aproaches an abandoned control pannel. Over the music, the commanders have not let up. Voice 1:Their defense is two intense- our grid is maxed. I don't think we can cut through- A new voice joins the clamor, this one female. As the woman speaks, the warforged has reached the control pannel. Voice 3: Admiral, tell your men to hold their position. Reinforcements are on their way. The camera now focuses on the warforged, who stands tall, crossbow held firmly across his chest, with a pattern of shadows and light playing across his adamantine plating. Voice 1: The entire detachment is engaged, Iyanna. With respect, what the Keeper sort of reinforcements have you got? The camera swivels to behind the warforged, who stands overlooking the hanger doors. Beneath him, a massive battle is in progress. Flashes of fire burst on the ground far bellow, and in the sky around and beneath Argonth is filled with the forms of Talenta Glidewings, Airships, and several Red Dragons. Camera returns to Dragonshard. Prevent the destruction of the Five Nations... In Progress Camera returns to Warforged, who places his hand on a pulsing Eberron shard embedded in the controls. Behind the warforged, the forcewalls sealing the hanger begin to disapate. Voice 1: Advancing Draconic hostile, below our position at aproximately zero. [B]Apearing at the Warforged's shoulder, a woman dressed in officer's regalia (Lt. Iyanna ir'Talan) asks in an amused voice... Voice 3 (Lt. Iyanna): What if you miss? Camera focuses on the Warforged's face, which turns to regard Iyanna (off screen). Warforged: I won't. As the hanger's forcewalls completely disapate, the Warforged breaks into a run, and hurls himself off of Argonth. The screen goes temporarily black, and the music, up until now frenzied and thrilling, deminishes to a peaceful mezo-piano. As the screen returns to normal, the Camera follows the warforged, who is falling gracefully twords the battlefield far below. Directly beneath the 'forged, a massive Red Wyrm can be seen gliding slowly forward... Screen fades to black, and slowly words form out of the darkness... Eberron: The Day of Mourning
Kinger 08-17-06, 07:17 PM	"There sure are a lotta unlocked doors in here for something that's supposedly from the age of demons..." I'll give a shot at a less parodical (is that a word?) script... Our trailer opens with a picturesque, panoramic view of Sharn, sillhuoetted against the stars and a pair of moons. The camera approaches and dips around the soaring towers as the quiet openings of the orchestral theme, predominantly deep strings, begins to sound. With a lurch the camera begins to dive down the side of a tower, past bridges, balconies and bustling streets, narrowly bypassing a skycoach that moves lazily through the open air, as the score builds in intensity. Down into the chasm between buildings the camera dives, finally halting inches above a puddle between the cobblestones of a dark, narrow alleyway. The camera orients itself to look down the alley, where it pauses for just a moment. With a sudden jolt of energy, the previously sombre score transitions to our heroes' theme, featuring dominant low brass and strings. Our two protagonists enter the frame from behind the camera, a booted foot from the left and bare, stone foot from the right splashing the puddle in unison as the march away from the camera in time to the score. On the right is a towering, imposing, armoured figure, a contrast to the shorter, lither woman to the left. The camera cuts to face the duo as they stride purposefully through the alley, maintaining a steady distance before them as they begin to converse. "So, we're going to kick down the door..." begins the woman, a changeling, her grey skin and white hair a stark contrast to her bright red cloak. "Yes," intones the warforged beside her, his deep, calm voice sounding rather like a resonant church organ. Studs upon his dark, armoured skin glint occasionally in the light of flickering torches upon the walls, and his orange eyes stand out like candles in the darkness, as does the sigil upon his head. At his back is lashed a large hand-and-a-half sword, and a smaller, curved blade is at his waist. "...Fight our way through to him..." continues the woman, sounding hesitant as she pulls back the hood of her cloak. Her white, near-pupiless eyes glance upwards at her towering companion. "Yes," repeats the warforged with continuing calm. The camera cuts briefly to the construct's hands, as he pulls from behind him an overly large, spiked gauntlet. He places it over his right hand and a series of clicks and whirs sound as the gauntlet tightens around his wrist. The camera cuts back to our heroes as the warforged lifts the hand before his face and flexes his fingers. "...And then ask him nicely for help," finishes the changeling. The camera briefly cuts to her hands as she pulls aside her cloak to reveal studded leather armour beneath. A small crossbow sporting an odd series of cogs slung below it appears from a fold in her cloak, and the camera cuts back to our duo. "Not exactly," says the warforged after a brief pause and sideways glance. The camera cuts to behind our protagonists as they stop walking, showing they stand before a large, wooden door. "No Entry" is painted boldy across it. The camera cuts back to our heroine as she withdraws from her cloak a cylindrical drum of crossbow bolts. With a series of clicks and ratchets the drum is hung beneath the crossbow. The camera cuts back to the upper bodies of our heroes. "Good," she says with a smile, wink, and a final off-camera tug as she arms her crossbow. The score pauses for a beat. "I was concerned tonight would be boring." The warforged lunges forward with a grunt and kicks into the camera as the score resumes to the sound of shattering planks. A breif montage of clips flash on screen as the score swells: - The warforged stands in the centre of a torchlit room, sword in one hand and kukri in the other, both raised in a combat stance. He parries aside a lunging hobgobling and spins about him to cut down his comrade. - The changeling puts her back to the wall of an alleyway at its junction with a busy street. Immediately, her features warp and shift to those of an attractive young woman that doesn't look so alien to the audience. - The warforged and changeling leap aside as a great axe, wielded by a towering fire giant, splits the earth where they just stood. - The changeling, a look of terrible anger upon her face and arcane energies arching up her arm, unleashes a salvo of bolts of magic into the camera from an outstretched wand. - The warforged, viewed sidelong and facing the right of the frame, draws his sword from his back and whirls it about one hand to stand in a deep stance, his sword above his head and angled slightly downwards. The words "NOTHING PERSONAL" appear in flaming letters from the guard to tip of his blade. The score silences as the camera cuts to just over the Warforged's shoulder, focussing on a slender figure draped in shadow but sporting a very revealing neckline, a pair of sickles in her hands. She launches into an elaborate and intimidating display of skill and agility, whirling her blades in the air and spinning gracefully, her cloak wafting about her. The sound of small steel blades slicing through space fills the air. The camera cuts to just over her shoulder, focused on the warforged who stands opposite her. He whirls his twin blades about his hands. The swords whoosh and howl as large objects swung quickly are wont to do, and he assumes another combat stance, readying himself. The camera cuts back to over the Warforged's shoulder, again focused on this mysterious assailant. She crouches as the score, staccato violins, crescendos from silence, and prepares to strike. The score is cut short with a loud twang, and the figure crumples forward with a large arrow in her back, revealing the changeling behind her with crossbow raised. The camera cuts to the warforged, who looks as accusingly and dissappointed as he can at the changeling, then cuts back to the changeling, who shrugs and ratchets another bolt into place with a tug. "What?" she asks, innocently. The screen immediately goes black. "COMING SOON" appears in bright white letters in pseudo-archaic font. Assorted legalese and fine print flashes over the bottom of the screen as the generic announcer-person announces that 'This film is not yet rated.'
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer 08-19-06, 01:57 PM	In a world both familiar... Image of a city of limitless towers, in the distance a train rushes towards it. It could be Victorian new york, or london. Fade to an elf in chain mail on horse back, he notches an arrow and lets fly at the camera, wich fades to- A tavern, loud and warm whhre a halfling whose face carrys an exotic tatto (Least mark of hospitality) sits behind the bar. And strange. The camera reurns to the city, sweeping though the arching bridged and weaving between sky cabs, swings past the train to show the flickring lightning beneath. Cuts to a group of Arenal elves, there skins painted with bones, as they awaken one of the honored deathless. Cuts again to a wide plain, a heard of dinosars sweeping across the land, draging wagons and sleds, swings past A T-Rex whose rider is a halfling, proud and dressed in laeher aromor and Maori style bead work. Where there are both Light... Cammera finds a brilinatly lit room whose only decoration os a fencing square on the white floor. In the centre a beutiful femail Klashitar in asethetic robes [Kiera Knightly] practaces flowing, dance like motions with a flowing blade of briliant light. And Darkness Still focussed on the Klashitar the scene darkens, her motions become faster, untill shes fighting aginst a pack of goblins in a darkend allyway, all in one take. Politics Image of the 4 monarchs around a table, members of all thedragon marked houses suround them in witness. And war... camera shifts to a rural scene, looking over feilds towards a vast city. Suddenly colour bleaches from the immage and grey mist surges outwards from the city, washing out the screen. Only one thing is certain Building montage, full face each of the four monarchs speaking, added one by one so there words are staggered, its only after a moment the viewer notises taht there all making the same speach 'As of this day, feeling that advantage may be ours, we withdraw from the treaty of Thronhold, making our intent to claim the lands and glorys of Galifar as our own' Nothing is ever what it seems. Camera finds a changling, dressed in boranals outfit from the prior scene. It smiles at the camera sardonicly. fade out. Ebberon: the Battle for Peace comming this fall. ( rating pending contains mild nudity violence and swearing, not recomended for Epeleptics, conservitaves or religios fundamentalists. No member of the Dungions and Dragons film creatave team has been in the same state as this script at any time.)
davethebrave371 08-20-06, 02:38 AM	I could see Keira being a pretty good kalashtar. But honestly? I'd rather see her as a vicious tribal halfling riding a clawfoot.
RadicalTaoist 02-15-07, 03:46 PM	Bumping to save from board purge
davethebrave371 02-15-07, 10:51 PM	This thread! I remember this thread! Hold on, I want to make one.
davethebrave371 02-15-07, 11:16 PM	Ok, for this one, I literally went scene by scene and tried to convert the official full length trailer into an Eberron theme. Enjoy! :D Shot of lightning rail going by a broken down caravan and a few trees near a dusty little town on the outskirts of a fortress with a bone motif. Lightning rail continues by an orc in scale mail leaning against the wall of the gigantic fortress, his backpack full of equipment on the ground in front of the gates. Cuts to a lithe, dextrous halfling in studded leather leaning against a sleeping tyrannosaurus. A Karrnathi commander, decked out in bone motif full plate, opens the gate. Karrnathi Commander: If you're looking for work, I suggest you get in here pronto. Fade to black. Psionic Focus Features Fade to both of them on raptors, looking out at a field of skeletons in old Cyre. Fade to the halfling leaning forward in his saddle, and the orc leaning back, with his head down. Cut back to more skeleton watching, then walking down the main road inside the fortress as dialogue begins, then drinking in a bar as dialogue finishes. Halfling: Well, since we're gonna be workin' together, I reckon it's time we start drinkin' together. Cut to more riding on raptors, and then the orc lining up a shot with his mighty composite greatbow and firing. The halfling pushes him excitedly, yelling "WOOO-HEEEAAYY! YEAH!" as the orc rights himself. Cut to the orc riding a raptor and guiding a raptor with equipment and food strapped to it up a mountain side, cut to a horrid bear growling and the orc being bucked off his raptor. Fade to black. It Was A Friendship Cut to the halfling handing the orc a cloth for his head wound from falling off the raptor. Cut to the orc cuddling up behind the halfling in their tent. Cut to the halfling whipping off his studded leather jacket in the tent. That Became A Secret (superimposed over the orc sitting by a pup tent and watching over the skeletons at night) Fade to the orc walking up to the halfling, who is lying down on a hill watching the skeletons. Halfling: It's nobodies business but ours. (as the orc sits down next to him, greatbow in hand) Cut to the halfling riding his t-rex with his backpack hanging from its neck, and looking forlornly into a hand mirror hanging off his backpack at the orc walking in the distance. Fade to black. There Are Place We Can't Return Fade to the orc scavenging from corpses in the Mournland. Cut to the halfling riding a raptor in a desert setting with several clans of Talentan halflings looking on and clapping. Camera focuses on a young halfling woman looking on as he is bucked from the raptor. Cut to the halfling and the female halfling making out on the back of a stegosaurus. Cut to the orc with arm around a female orc on a tyrannosaurus. Cut to orc marrying the female orc in a Silver Flame church. Silver Flame Priest: You may kiss the bride. Cut to halfling's wife with a baby in her arms, and the halfling looking in and smiling. Cut to the orc bringing his two kids into a general store, one under each arm. Fade to black. There Are Lies We Have To Tell Fade to the orc and his wife washing dishes. Orcwife: Do you know somebody named Jak? Fades to the orc walking away with Sivis message in hand. Orc: We was fishin' buddies. Cut to Jak arriving outside of the orc’s home in Karrlakton and they embrace warmly. Fade to black. There Are Truths We Can't Deny Fades white to them riding through some trees on raptors. Cuts to them standing near a fire that's cooking a pot of something, the orc has his arms around Jak, raptor in the background. Jak: You know it could be like this, just like this, always. Cut to the orc shaking his head in the glow of firelight. Orc: This thing grabs hold of us at the wrong place, and we're dead. Jak looks down. Cut to two men looking suspiciously out of a stable with a sleeping raptor in it. Cut to the Karrnathi Commander. Karrnathi Commander: You boys sure found a way to make the time pass up there. Cut to Jak's shocked face. Cut to the orc's wife shaking her head. Orcwife: You don't go out there to fish. Orc (grabbing her arm): You don't know nothin' about it. Cut to orc's wife crying, holding one of their children against her chest. White fade to scenic view of a tree-covered mountainside and a valley with text. From Academy AwardŽ-Nominated Director Zhang Yimou Fade to single lightning rail train going across a vast field at sunset. And Pulitzer Prize-Nominated Authors Reynolds Price And Anne Tyler (if anyone gets the award jokes I put in here, you’re awesome) Jak standing on a bridge, looking into the water as dialogue begins, the orc riding on a t-rex with Jak, closing his eyes tight as his line begins, fade to him beating his fists against the side of the fortress and collapsing as his line closes. Cut to them hugging as Jak's next line begins. Jak: You have no idea how bad it gets. Orc: If you can't fix it, you gotta stand it. Jak: I wish I knew how to quit you! Cut to the orc punching out Jak, cut to the orc riding away on raptorback, cut to Jak wiping his eyes while riding his t-rex. Cut to Jak dancing with his wife. Cut to the orc being hugged from behind by his wife. Orc smoking a pipe, flipping his prestidigitation flame on and off on the tip of his index finger. Vin Diesel Jak with a distant look and faint smile. Stephen Colbert Jak’s wife riding up on raptorback. Sarah Jessica Parker Orc’s wife putting laundry on a line. Alicia Silverstone Orc taking bloodied studded leather jacket out of closet and hugging it. Orc standing in front of magical fireworks going off, staring at his wife, who is off with their two children in the near distance, sheltering them. Fade to black. Brokeback Mournland Fade to credit screens. Psionic Focus Features And Lyrandar-Orien Entertainment Present A Zhang Yimou Film Vin Diesel Stephen Colbert "Brokeback Mournland" Busy Philipps Uma Thurman Sarah Jessica Parker Alicia Silverstone and Sala Baker Casting by David Spencer Costume Designer Wayne Reynolds Music Supervision David P. Davidson Music by David P. Davidson Edited by David Spencer Production Designer Wayne Reynolds Director of Photography Andrew Lesnie Co-Producers David Spencer Marri Knadle Exectuve Producer Keith Baker Music Supervision David P. Davidson Producers James Wyatt Jason Bulmahn Stan! Based on the trailer by Ang Lee and the Eberron Campaign Setting by Keith Baker Screenplay by Reynolds Price and Anne Tyler Directed by Zhang Yimou www.brokebackmournlandmovie.com Psionic Focus Features
CTHUHLU_THE_GROOVY 02-16-07, 01:21 AM	Holy crap! I would actually want to see many of these serious-but-cheesy action movie versions! They'd be way better than what we have. It would be groovy (but dorky) if we could get some serious write ups and see if it goes anywhere. Still the misunderstandings and changes would be hilarious. Think of.. A valenar pulling a bow King Kaius making an evil plan that would destroy what he worked for because "he is a vampire lolz!" or if they made Jaela hot...... An epic quest through the wilderness, and I don't mean Xendrick A ten million crown dragonshard! A plot to control the world controlling dragons A mentor (Jeremy Irons?) trying to explain an in game concept, like action points in character, or better yet... An aging, wise Jeremy Irons trying to explain Vancian magic!!!! That would take the cake. That and katanna flying warforged and mindblades with lightsaber sounds.
Killer GM 02-16-07, 01:46 AM	Good grief...I forgot all about this thread...I'm amazed someone thought it was good enough to necro after 3 years.
Bonewarden 02-17-07, 02:23 PM	OMG Brokeback Mournland, now I have Butterfinger flavored cocoa dripping out of my nose. Hilarious (and not a little bit disturbing) :eek:
DragoonDarkfire 02-17-07, 09:37 PM	In the beginning there were three... (shows three dragons standing around each other) Siberys: LOOK! It is the DRAGONIC PROPHECY! Khyber: Hey I found it first. Eberron: Hey. What exactly makes this thing so important? Siberys: shut up. It has the words Dragonic AND Prophecy in it. It has to be cool. Then the battle came... (Shows Khyber and Siberys fighting in a big CGI battle) And now a world is divided... (shows a view of the Mournland) And in a city of towers... (shows a view of Sharn) Two unlikely people must come together... (Shows Chris tucker and Jackie Chan running through the sky towers after a changeling) RUSH HOUR 3: EBERRON RUN (shows Chris jumping into a sky coach with Jackie next to him) Chris: Man this is some **** up **** Jackie: We gotta save Boranels daughter. Chris: Man SCREW him. I'm tired of my people being oppressed. Jackie: ... are black people even oppressed in this setting. Chris: I'M NOT BLACK! I'M A SHIFTER! Jackie: ... You are? (Chris takes out a gun and shoots Jackie in the head) Chris: ARF ARF ARF! Coming soon...
Wymarc 02-19-07, 05:01 PM	lolololololololololololololloolololololo lololololo ROFL!
ratslinky 02-19-07, 09:15 PM	:bump: cause it's so funny
UnderworldLord 02-21-07, 12:22 PM	I dunno if this has been done elsewhere, but I' like to see if anyone could come up with ideas like this based on some of the novels; Dreaming Dark, Dragon Below, Thieves of Blood, Marked for Death, and Heirs of Ash being the ones that come to mind.
docjack 02-23-07, 01:48 AM	"I want to see someone Eberronise "Snakes on a Plane" "We got yuan-ti on this mother-*bleep*ing airship!" I usually just lurk here, but this made me laugh so hard I had to come out of the Cogs and applaud. Bravo! Jack
NerdNumber1 02-25-07, 02:05 PM	What if we change this thread to a script writing project for a high-budget, block-buster, Eberron movie. The only D&D movie I saw was a low budget piece of crap, that looked like a few kids did for a class project. I can see a fight seen on top of a lightning rail with the mix of heros fighting a large group of shifter mercenaries. Or a bar fight against a trigger-happy mage. If you saw one of these trailers on TV, would you see the movie? I know quite a few people that would.
davethebrave371 02-25-07, 02:23 PM	What if we change this thread to a script writing project for a high-budget, block-buster, Eberron movie. The only D&D movie I saw was a low budget piece of crap, that looked like a few kids did for a class project. I can see a fight seen on top of a lightning rail with the mix of heros fighting a large group of shifter mercenaries. Or a bar fight against a trigger-happy mage. If you saw one of these trailers on TV, would you see the movie? I know quite a few people that would. See now that is funny. I know you were being serious, but you actually probably said the most hilarious thing in the thread so far. That a studio would turn it into a high-budget film. HAHAHAHAHA Oh man...tears in my eyes.
NerdNumber1 02-25-07, 02:47 PM	Well, Eberron was made to play out like an action movie and wizards of the coast is a fairly large company that has made several D&D movies before. Everyone has at least heard of D&D and this thread of trailers won't do any better. So, why not? Even people who havent heard of Eberron would be interested when they see one of the action scenes from this thread. With an ok plot and a fairly large budget, an Eberron film could be awsome. Edit: If a studio made such a film, would you watch it? Everybody answer. I know I would.
davethebrave371 02-25-07, 02:54 PM	Well, Eberron was made to play out like an action movie and wizards of the coast is a fairly large company that has made several D&D movies before. Everyone has at least heard of D&D and this thread of trailers won't do any better. So, why not? Even people who havent heard of Eberron would be interested when they see one of the action scenes from this thread. With an ok plot and a fairly large budget, an Eberron film could be awsome. Edit: If a studio made such a film, would you watch it? Everybody answer. I know I would. The first one grossed very poorly and had extremely bad reviews across the board. The second one was straight to DVD. And even if every single person on these boards said they'd watch it (which they wouldn't, some FR and Greyhawk fans are adamantly against Eberron's very existence), that's still such a small demographic that you'd get a mid-range budget at best. And after the commercial flops of the previous two (as well as that abortion of interactive entertainment, Scourge of Worlds), I'm pretty sure most movie studios are going to want some big names to sign on. Vin Diesel has expressed interest in starring in a Forgotten Realms movie, but the Eberron generation's D&D nerds have yet to become actors and directors. I can see it, in the future, maybe having a shot. A shot in the dark. At a fly. But at this point, there's not even that. Besides that, the OP wanted funny, the post itself has the Humour bracket, and let's keep it light. If you want to start your own thread, go for it. Although really, it's still funny movie stuff as long as you keep saying there's a chance an Eberron movie could be made based on stuff written in a forum on the internet.
NerdNumber1 02-25-07, 03:29 PM	Answer me this: If it was made, would you see it? Even if a movie is never actually made, the script alone would be a great read. Anyone have a good idea for a plot? It could be based on a campaign that was already played. Why just make a trailer when the entire script is posible. Sure the chance that Wizards will even consider this idea is slim to none, but lets give it a go just for fun.
ratslinky 03-14-07, 03:20 AM	I would
Lancer2010 03-14-07, 10:28 AM	Kinger, you forgot to add one like for Warforged Ahnold. GO! RUN! GET TO DE AIRSHIP!!!
Hopeless 03-15-07, 04:36 AM	Answer me this: If it was made, would you see it? Even if a movie is never actually made, the script alone would be a great read. Anyone have a good idea for a plot? It could be based on a campaign that was already played. Why just make a trailer when the entire script is posible. Sure the chance that Wizards will even consider this idea is slim to none, but lets give it a go just for fun. There's been several, some even in this thread along with suggestions on who to play them! The Rock as a warforged certainly sounda great, Sean Connery as a veteran adventurer, a certain tomb raider taking the part of a member of Hosue Cannith, would rather have Orlando Bloom play one role rather than two though. Ben Affleck sounds great, but can't help seeing him as either an artificer or spellcaster. Jeremy Irons as Merrix d'Cannith maybe! As for stroyline how about; The scene starts at a bitter battle at the Cyre-Karrnath border, three airships overloaded with refugees flee the embattled area and try to head back into Cyre but an unexplained explosion on the horizon forces the captain to steer the three ships away and barely manage to cross into the Talenta Plains. However they're ambushed by Karrnathi stormships and one is forced to hold them off to let the other two escape. The airship is destroyed in a short fierce battle but many flee the ship as it slowly descends and the scene shifts to one such group of survivors. Picking themselves up and escaping the pursuit of the Karrnathi they're now stuck in the Talenta Plains and have to head towards Breland and a supposed safe haven in Sharn but must find a way to contend not only with their pursuers who seek to silence them as their king is busy trying to get a treaty signed so he can rebuild his forces, but the halflings of the Talenta Plains and the Valenar elven raiders that threaten both of them. Too unlikely?
Ubermog 03-29-07, 12:21 AM	I'm kind of surprised no-one thought of having James Earl Jones as the voice of the Lord of Blades.
Master_of_Freedom 06-22-07, 05:02 PM	well, duh. That's a given.
Symar 06-24-07, 04:37 PM	Too funny!
Lanodantheon 06-24-07, 11:32 PM	For everyone's Information, the Movie Announcer Guy is named Don LaFontaine. A lot of people mimic him in trailers including Peter Cullen who does all the Cartoon Network Voiceovers. I always had a few ideas for an Eberron Movie or 2 but I always played it straight, never a parody. Maybe I just can't stoop to that level out of pride or something stupid like that. This is my best shot to describe one of my ideas as cheesy as possible. This story was to be part of a pipe dream of mine, an anthology show with I had imagined as a weekly TV series that told war Stories from all parts of the Last War. Ironically the name I wanted to give the show ended up as a real Eberron book (Mind Reading B#*#$#). One of the episode ideas I had was the Eberron Battle of the Somme, when House Cannith debuted the Warforged. But here's an attempt the bad form of the episode that was to be the pilot. It is actually based on an old Mexican War story. Don LaFOntaine would have to narrate this because he is cool. The Bruckheimer Films Logo plays out, stopping on the still of the lightning striking a tree. The still dissolves into a wider image of an marked map of Khorvaire, the tree filling in with other trees in a forest on the map marking the Eldeen Reaches. A pulse of energy beats like a heart, filling in the details of the map like a circulatory system. Battle movement paths like veins and arteries Marking battles won and lost and then they fade away. Below the Reaches in big bold letters mark the continent, "KHORVAIRE". The shot fades to back and cuts to "In a world of magic...." A shot of an airship leaving a port. Golem (Not Warforged) Laborers building a tower. A magewright and his students lighting street lamps. The camera dissolve back to a shot over Sharn: The City of Towers marking it as such on the map. The map beats, marking the fall of the Glass Tower on the map and the battles at the border of Breland. Fade to black... "In a time of War...." Shots of war, of lighting bolts streaking across the sky into Airships like the one that left the dock. A paper boy in Sharn holds up a paper in one hand shouting, "Galifarian Civil War now in its 62nd year!" Dissolves to the Map, marking Cyre. The map pans to the south side of Cyre. The map pulses again, revealing battle lines through out Cyre and the surrounding except for a spot marking a tower, which is surrounded by miles of nothing. The camera zooms in on the tower, which is marked as, "Sanctuary Tower" "One place on Khorvaire remained untouched...." Dissolve to a shot of the real tower, an Aundairian floating Tower surrounded by farms and a small town chained to the earth. Shots of children with wands in wizard garb, Drez (Daniel Radcliffe), and older student among them. Everyone looks happy. A younger student, Antone sits at the window looking bored until a Horse Rider rides toward them over the horizon. Dissolve to the map. "Until the day...." The map pulses, redrawing the Cyran border line through the Tower's Position. The year is marked as, "956 YK" The camera pans down, the land below is marked, "Valenar" The Horse Rider dismounts. He reveals himself as a Valenar Elf. He holds up a scroll. He faces and old wizard who is the spitting image of Dumbeldore. Behind him is a crowd of nervous apprentice Wizards, Drez in front. "...the land changed forever." Messenger: "On this Day, of the Year of Khorvaire 956, this land is now Valenar you will leave or you will die." Fumbeldore: "This is our home, we can't leave it. This is Madness!" Messenger: "THIS IS VALENAR!" He draws his double Scimitar, cutting Fumbledor in half. He poses and looks at the camera. Messenger: "What say you now?" Then he flinches and the camera pans 180 degrees back to the students who have their fingers and wands pointed at him. Drez looks angry. Drez: "Should have upped your spell resistance!" Drez Fireballs the Elf. Cut to the Map. "Now, the Sanctuary has become..." The wizards gear up for war and barricade themselves in the tower. They paint their faces, strap wands to themselves, looking like the Lost Boys and Harry Potter had an orgy. They looking into a crystal ball as they flex their magic muscles. Someone shouts," Bring it on!" Dissolve to the map. "...the frontline." The map pulses, showing Brelish armies to the northwest, Thrane Armies to the northeast and Valenar to the south. Dissolves to this little tower surrounded by armies in formation. Drez stands tall, looking at them like he's worth a million GP. "We will not surrender!" he says. Behind him 2 wizards look at each other and one says, "Are we boned?" The other says, "Yes, yes we are..." "From Keith Baker's Eberron..." The map beats and shows troops approaching a farm on the outskirts of town. Cut to the farms, where students hide among the hay as soldiers creep forward through the farm. The kids pop out and blow the lines away. "Comes a tale of courage...." Drez falls out of the sky with a staff in hand, stopping inches of the face of an officer out side a tent who falls over. They are inches apart as they lock eyes. Drez pushes off the ground, planting his staff in the officer's neck and floating in the air. He lobs spells. "A tale of sacrifice...." An apprentice is captured, behind his back he breaks a pair of wands in half. They gang fire the remaining charges. "A tale...." Drez is hit by an arrow as he falls against a wall. Blood runs down his face as crowd of enemies descend upon him. Drez grins. The camera shows the whole map. It pulses a last time and a logo appears. "..of the Last War" The Logo: Tales of the Last War: The Fall of Sanctuary :confused: I hope you like it That's the best tacky I can do....:weep:
Rechan 06-25-07, 01:02 AM	Narrator: In a world... Pan over the dense jungles of Xen'drik, giant and drow skirmishes lighting up the evening sky with fire blasts and raging elementals. With so much evil... Black, underground depths, lit by the purple glow coming off of Khyber dragonshards. The illumination provides shadows for things slithering in the background. Millions of eyes open up in the darkness, and the camera pulls back to see a perfectly beautiful man seated on a throne of eyes, two beholders looking in awe upon him. What are these guys gonna do? Drow explode out of the jungles, chasing two figures. One is in pale skin and white eyes. The other, a metallic man of grim visage. The changeling, voiced by Robin Williams: "RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUUUUUUN!" Voice of Ron Pearlman comes from the Warforged. "Saying it more than once isn't going to make me go any faster." Both come to a cliff, look behind them, and leap off. The camera watches them as they go down, down, dooown... and land on an airship deck. "Need a lift?" asks Owen Wilson, sporting a Lyander dragonmark that glows on his cheek, down his throat, and under his shirt. Two drow then drop down onto the deck, blades drawn. Ron: "It never ends." Cut to Sharn, the lightning rail streaking into the station, the flying sky coaches. Interior, Danny Devito looking much like a gnome sitting behind a desk. "You three are the top rated delivery men in Khorvaire. I need you to handle my package." Ron, discreetly to Robin: "Any package this guy has is pretty small." Robin: "I don't know. Gnomes have big noses. Know what that means." Owen: "SURE. What's the worst that can happen?" Cut to Owen opening a door. Inside is a room full of men in green full plate. Ron: "What's the worst that could happen, huh?" Dessicated, green, horned "female" approaches Owen, swaying her hips. Eartha Kitt voice's voice from the lich's mouth: "I need... you... to do... something for meeee." Owen: "Lady, there's nothing I can do for you that a cleric couldn't accomplish!" Cut to scene of Ron, Robin and Owen battling fiendish creatures. Ron: "Tell me you DID NOT moon a Rakshasa." Robin: "Does this look like the face of a man that would lie to you?" Owen and Ron, in unison: "YES!" Robin uses CGI to change his face to a little child. "How about now?" This summer... Sweep over Cyre, then Owen's ship. Robin is inside. Opens the box. Ron: "Don't touch it!" Robin: "BUT LOOOK. It has a big shiny red button that says in Draconic 'Push me!' Robin pushes it. Cut to mass magical eruptions across the countryside, and grey mist rolling in. Ron, Owen and Robin looking over the side of the airship. Robin: "Oops." Title of movie blazes across the screen. EBERRONNED!
NiteCyper 11-14-07, 01:48 AM	The awesomeness... First two attempts at this were freaking awesome, second maybe even better than the first! SO FREAKING CHEESY HAAHHA!