Need feedback on Backstory for new Eberron Char. (Long) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTimePost
Shinobi

07-16-04, 04:01 PM
Hey -- I'll be surprised if I get any responses on this, because it's so long...but if anyone has feedback for me (other than spelling and other syntax errors) I'd appreciate it. There are a few assumptions made, one of which is that Cannith & Sivis did business during the Last War -- I don't know if they did or not, but assume they did for this. Also, an Arc Bolt is an idea I blatantly stole from a thread on here :angel:

Thanks in advance :)

Tylo Sivis started out as any Sivis in good standing did, he was a scribe. In the broad land of Zilargo, home to many House Sivis scribes, Tylo found his beginnings. Tylo was lucky enough to secure himself in a relatively good position, transcribing tablets and dusty tomes of history that came to him via privateers that flew to the mysterious continent of Xen'Drik. You see, House Sivis values such knowlege, and payed privateers in their Llyrandar Air Ships good sums of money to return to House Sivis any interesting findings of the written word. Tylo's job was simple -- make relations with the privateers (Character Explanation -- Diplomacy), purchase prospective writings from them at the most shrewd price possible, and transcribe it into common language. (Character Explanation -- Decipher Script, Knowledge: Xen'Drik).

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Tylo smirked inwardly, "Look Driscal, we've done business before so I don't want to stiff you, but House Sivis does not stand to gain much from this isoteric tablet. 300 Gold, or sell it in the market as a book-end" The privateer sighed, but finally aquiessed. Tylo Spun on his heels, tablet in hand, and let a broad grin get the best of him. He had recognized instantly the language of the ancient Giants, and knew the portants this tablet could hold.

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It wasent Tylo's job to care what was transcribed, but he did. It wasent Tylo's job to daydream about the lost continent of Xen'Drik, but he did that too. Time and time again he would purchase scrolls of lore, and books written by lost civilizations, and time and time again he would translate them in the name of House Sivis. It was exciting work for Tylo, each scroll he pored over and decrypted was a magical experience for him. He read of the rebellion of the ancient Elven civilization, the obliteration of the giants, the so called "dark elves" that live on the continent. Sure, he'd heard tales, but he was doubtful that they are more than a privateer's excuse to give his findings more value. But eventually the rush of knowlege left, and his job became little more than the endless scratching of a quill on parchment, more dull and tedious with every stroke of every letter.


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Tylo did not enjoy lying to his clients about the value of thier findings, it undermined his validity as a business partner, and cheated the privateers out of treasures that they risked their lives for, but the House only has so much gold to devote to Tylo's department. Like it or not, his operation was not of the utmost importance to the key members of the Sivis Council. But ocassionally he produced findings that gave his House insight into Xen'Drik that noone else alive on Khorvaire would have, so he kept his office, and his limited funding. As he leaned back in the plush chair that sat behind his desk, the centerpiece of his office on a lower level of the enclave spire, he gave a thoughtful look at the tablet that lay there, basking in the soft blue light of an everburning candle. Kalack, a human wizard that oft adventured Xen'Drik ruins with this group of privateers had died in the excursion that yielded this tablet. He was always the one that the privateers would send to haggle with Tylo, and Tylo had grown rather fond of him. He would have no doubt pointed out to Tylo that this tablet is magical in nature, and may contain a secret or two about the powerful magic that the Giants of the old world used to great success. "Yes, it may contain a secret or two" Tylo Mused as he sighed in commitment, sat up straight, and began to study the peculiarly large runes of the long dead civilization.

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He was nearly at the end of his nerves, ready to call upon his superiors in House Sivis to promote him to more important, less laborious work, when it happened. In 894 YK, King Jarot of Galifar dies, and shortly after the continent is plunged into the Last War. Though House Sivis is decidedly neutral in this war, Tylo had grown disenchanted with his work, and his superiors "urged" him and many other gnomes of no great power to join the Zilargo military. He was placed in the 1st Zilargo Engineers Platoon. A fancy name for the gathering of people who passed a simple engineering test and were proven to have magical aptitude. They would be crafting magic for the war effort. It was here that he met Globin Cannith, a human of no great physical stature that walked with a limp and a cane, as most humans in the late years of their short short lifespans do. Globin was more than just a Cannith siegemaster, he was an Artificer of no small renown. It was here that he taught Tylo the difference between magic, and MAGIC. Tylo, as most gnomes do, had dabbled with magic, and fancied tinkering with widgets, but always as seperate activities. Globin showed Tylo the power in the union of technology and the energies that flow through all of Eberron. He turned the art into a science, he showed Tylo how to reroute the energies all around us into devices and scripture, how to bend the laws of magic to his very will.

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Tylo sighed in frustration, and dried his face, replacing the soot laden towel on the side of his water barrel. Globin did not look happy. "Tylo, you may not worry about your own physical well being, but if you pull a stunt like that on the battlefield, you could destroy your Arc Bolt, or worse, your whole unit. You arent asking the Air Elemental to please come out and give us some sparks. You are commanding it, on pain of death, or worse, to let loose a tempest of energy. It is your job to focus the energy, you can't leave that to the conductor stone." With renewed fortitude, Tylo took the conductor stone in his hands once more and put his fingers on the 1st, 3rd, 14th, and 16th contact points, as he'd been showed to do. He focused his willpower in the same way as he did whenever he tried to channel the power of a magical device. Suddenly a flood of words in the airy language of the elemental within begged for freedom in his mind. It was at this point, when the initial connection was made, that he was supposed to yank the essence of the trapped being out of the stone for an instant, and focus it toward the metal target rod in front of him. Tylo's control slipped for an instant and knew immediately that it would be costly. With a loud clap of thunder and a bright flash of lightning, Tylo lost the battle of will...
He picked himself up off of the dirt floor of the austere training room, and walked to the water barrel, a searing pain in his chest and head. He began wiping the soot and burnt hair from his face, dipping the towel periodically in the barrel, Tylo sighed in frustration.

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It wasent long before he learned how to make scrolls and potions that were useful to the war cause, and later, weapons of war which helped turn the tides of many battles that Zilargo fought.

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Tylo spit some of the grit out of his mouth and tensly waited for the order to fire, amidst the other hectic sounds of battle. Nothing he'd ever read or scribed came close to the harsh chaotic reality of true combat. It was madness. Even though his Arc Bolt unit was on a hill "safely" overlooking the mass melee of the frontlines, the ocassional arrow or misfired spell reminded him all to often how close to the battle he actually was. The lead conductor sphere hummed lightly and even vibrated from time to time in Tylo's hands. "Oh yes, this one is old indeed" Tylo thought, imagining the angry elemental within the conductor stone. Unlike the stones he used in training, this one had 2 flexible metal wires that kept him connected to the Arc Bolt. He looked up at the ballista shaped weapon that he was in charge of operating, and at each of the 6 conductor stones that lined the guide rails. It was a beast of a machine. Only minutes before, his 4 man loading group had locked in the adamentine and iron bolt between the guide rails. The bolt, which stood 3 times as tall as Tylo, would be the deathkiss to many soldiers in the marauding army below. Tylo's engineer, with the help of the 4 loading Warforged, turned the Arc Bolt and aimed it at a large cluster of armored troops. Tylo pulled his mind back to the battlefield and gathered his will. Just in time, as he heard the yell of his unit leader, the sound that undammed a river of power within him into the conductor stone. "FIRE!" Like so many times before, Tylo let his energy pour out into the stone. He still got a rush as the electricity of the Elder elemental flowed through him and into the conductor stones of the Arc Bolt. He opened his mouth in a short cry of power and success, as a few small arcs of electricity leapt from tooth to tooth. As anticipated, the bolt was charged with a deific amount of electricity, and it screamed toward the target in a brilliant flash of bluish light, followed by a deafening crack of electricity and the very rending of the earth below. When the dust settled, and the smoke cleared, all that remained of the cluster of troops was a crater, and the twisted broken bodies of the 'forged, horse, and man. Tylo closed his mouth. Sand and dirt that was stirred up violently by the Arc Bolt coated most of his tongue and teeth. Globin would have been proud. Tylo sighed heavily and spit out some of the grit in his mouth.

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All for the good of House Sivis -- for if Zilargo, home of gnomes everywhere was to fall -- how would the mighty House Sivis cope?

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Tylo stood at the center of the large circular audience chamber, confident that the Cannith council would weigh the benefits and problems with his proposal in his favor. "So the short of it is, House Sivis will construct, operate, and maintain these 'repair tents' to alleviate the cost of repairing and disposing of the battle-damaged warforged, in return for the sole rights to build and operate speaker stations in regions where Cannith holds sway. Cannith will also be privy to portable speaker stones for use in delivering orders to troops in wartime. Esteemed members of the council of Cannith, both of our Houses stand to gain immensely from this agreement, I thank you wholeheartedly for hearing out my proposal." As Tylo walked back to the inn that he stayed, he found comfort in the great many things which House Sivis stood to gain from this bargain. Of course, the 'repair tents' would be of no small cost, but they would also provide much insight into the creation of the Warforged for the good of House Sivis, while broadening the communications network of House Sivis throughout the continent, and providing income for the House. He knew he would not hear back from the council for some time, but he was confident that the proposal would be accepted. That is why his superiors sent him.

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Yes, Tylo operated many an Arc Bolt Ballista (Character Explanation -- taking Bind Elemental in the future), and even spent some time in a repair tent fixing the damage that allied Warforged had received in the front lines (Character Explanation -- Blacksmithing).

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"Alright, you're all done, give your joints a little time to loosen up, and you'll be battleworthy in 2 days time. Next!" Tylo sighed in exhaustion, the Warforged just kept on coming into the repair tent from the battlefield. Noone told him what had happened, the 'forged didint speak much when he worked on them, but he didint need to be told. He knew very well what the results of an Arc Bolt landing in the midst of a contingent looked like. He should, after all he operated an Arc Bolt for 12 years of this Host-forsaken war. The next 'forged that lay on the table before him was closer to the blast than most of his previous ones today. It's face was mangled with adamentine shrapnel, one of the crystal lenses that functioned as an eye was cracked like a spiderweb, the rest of it's body was no better off. He looked like a follower of the Mockery, the way his metal peeled back away from the blast, and had been shorn off completely in some areas. "Buckle down, we're going to have to replace your entire outer composite plating, and that eye lense has to come out. It's gonna be a while," Tylo said as he turned around to his repair kit and pulled out the necessary tools. "Definitely going to be a while," Tylo sighed in exhaustion and began another long night of work.

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Tylo had indeed seen much of the war by the time it ended. As he reluctantly settles back into his work room and picks up his Pen of The Scribe, to tranlate a tablet that was all but forgotten when the war started, a spark within him ignited. "I'm 157 years old" Laying his spectacles on top of the tablet, and looking into the Everburning Candle that lit all but the outskirts of his office room with a warm blue glow. "I've but just reached my prime. My place is not to transcribe these musty books, and ancient tablets, how long can I stay couped up in this spire? No, I will go out and see the world, and write my own tomes." WIth a sure nod and a steady hand, Tylo gathered all that he needed. Minutes later Tylo found himself outside of the great spire which was his home in House Sivis, a backpack of trinkets and things he'd kept from the Last War, his only burden. A sigh of relief passed his lips. "Freedom," he spoke, as he walked decidedly to the Air Ship docks, this time not to make a deal with a privateer, but to become one...

Thats it! Thanks for reading, and any feedback you have would be much appreciated :)