New Character (looking for opinion) [Archive] - Wizards Community

New Character (looking for opinion) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Jack_Rains
12-27-05, 01:07 AM I have created a character for an upcoming game. I will be DMing and using this character as an NPC that travels with the party. He is a bodyguard for another character, a young gnome lass whose family has decided needs protection since she won't be sensible and stay in Korranberg.
Well anyway, this character is a human fighter. He was raised in the Cyran countryside and grew up a farmer. When he was of age he joined the military and was immediately put on the front lines. For years he fought against Brelish incursion, and against the goblin traitors.
On the Day of Mourning he found himself in Dargunn just across the border. During a raging battle the grey mist could be seen coming far in the distance. And strange sounds and what seemed like screams could be heard from those still on the Cyran side of the border.
When the goblinoid force heard these sounds they cheered and charged on toward the remaining the Cyran forces. The Cyrans were decimated, but not all were killed. This man, Landris Cellan, was taken prisoner by the Dhaakani. He was taken to Rhukaan Draal and sold on the slave market. After working in the iron mines for about a year he saw his chance for escape and took it. He fought long and hard alongside his fellow Cyrans that were slaves in the mines also until the bugbear force overwhelmed them. Instead of being killed like his comrades Landris was sold again, this time as a pitfighter.
A one-eyed hobgoblin named Okaan'o took Landris and trained him in the ways of a Dhaakani pitfighter after seeing how he fought the bugbears in the slave incursion.
For two and half years Landris survived the Rhurrthec Kec (Bloody Ring) and impressed even the Lhesh Haruuc , for even the mightiest of goblinoid gladiators could not survive the Rhurrthec Kec for so long. The Lhesh Haruuc granted Landris his freedom and ordained him a Dhaakani warrior saying that "even though he is human the blood of the Rhukaan Taash runs true in his veins."
Gladly receiving this honor, Landris swore his loyalty to the Lhesh Haruuc taking the name Kuun'Rhuul (Lost Blood) and set about towards Korranberg. He had learned much of what had transpired since the Day of Mourning from the mouths of merchants and adventurers who passed through Darguun over the years and was determined to survive in this new world.
Since that time Kuun'Rhuul has sold his services to the Kan Davandi family in Korranberg as a bodyguard to protect their daughter Alani as she ebarks on her "foolish" journy to Sharn and beyond.

That is my character, let me know what you think or if you have any ideas of your own that could help me flesh him out some more. Any input would be appreciated.
Korhal_IV
12-27-05, 02:50 AM This fighter sounds extremely high level - I'd personally peg him around 10th or 12th just based on his backstory. That's a very bad sign. The fact that you put so much backstory into him is potentially a worse sign - this guy is obviously important to you, and that should not happen with a lackey, because you'll be drawn into writing stories around him, instead of the gnome.
Jack_Rains
12-27-05, 09:27 AM He doesn't need to be high level to fit that back story. And he won't be the focus of the game, I've DMed long enough that I know how to keep the focus on the players. I made the backstory just so he would be interesting instead of just being a generic body guard. He won't be the focus of anything unless the PCs decide they'd like to learn more about his past and want to help him with some goal. If that is the case then his backstory is just used as a adventure hook.

I'm well aware of people's problems with being able to keep focus off of NPCs when they create one they really like. I've DMed using NPCs as part of the group before and DMed without using them and have made my mistakes along the way. I learned from them a long time ago. Besides I just made up the story and thought it'd be interesting to share. My PCs would much rather have a guy with them who has a personality and history than one who is just a cardboard cut-out.

I'm not asking for opinions on how I run my games or how some may assume I run my games. Just wanting some helpful criticism on the character.
Grymar
12-27-05, 10:57 AM Looks like a great background. My first thought also when reading this is that it sounded more like a PC (DMPC?) than an npc, but it looks like you have that all taken care of.

I'd give him a level or two in warrior to start to cover his years in the war, then maybe go to Fighter or Barbarian to cover his years in the fighter pits, depending on what level your PC is. Keep him equal or a level lower if possible.

Great backstory, by the way.
Turkforged
12-27-05, 11:03 AM Hmm... Take feats and do actions which will support your dirty-fightning. Or something goblinoid you know..
Darguun might want some special tasks for you, you may need to answer them or you will broke their heart..
Jack_Rains
12-27-05, 11:25 AM Thanks for the input. I'm still working out his stats, he will mainly just be muscle for the group and is a quiet type. He is there to serve the gnome and protect here not get into political or philisophical discussion with the group (thats how he sees it anyway).
I think he's going to be either a warrior 2/barbarian 1 or fighter 1/barbarian 1. I'm not sure what feats to take as of yet though besides that he uses a spiked chain so he will have to take the exotic weap. prof in that.
Any ideas on good feats for a gladiator?
Loki Helson
12-27-05, 12:28 PM Thanks for the input. I'm still working out his stats, he will mainly just be muscle for the group and is a quiet type. He is there to serve the gnome and protect here not get into political or philisophical discussion with the group (thats how he sees it anyway).
I think he's going to be either a warrior 2/barbarian 1 or fighter 1/barbarian 1. I'm not sure what feats to take as of yet though besides that he uses a spiked chain so he will have to take the exotic weap. prof in that.
Any ideas on good feats for a gladiator?

I would suggest Warrior2/Barb1.
As far as feats? Improved Trip, Kiai Shout (and greater eventually), Deft Strike, and Diehard.

I think the character has a very nice background and should be fun for both you and your players. Good luck!
Sieylianna
12-27-05, 05:14 PM Thanks for the input. I'm still working out his stats, he will mainly just be muscle for the group and is a quiet type. He is there to serve the gnome and protect here not get into political or philisophical discussion with the group (thats how he sees it anyway).

Did you consider a member of house Deneith? It seems a shame to create a bodyguard in Eberron and not look at the dragonmark house.

Ed
Jack_Rains
12-27-05, 05:25 PM I think that having a member of House Deneith really helps with the question as to why the gnome's family hired him specifically. I don't think he will have strong ties to the family but is just an unmarked bodyguard in their service. He just arrived in Korranberg when he was hired. So its only his first job for Deneith.
Pocalem
12-27-05, 05:39 PM Just make sure when he levels with the party, not to take feats, skills, other classes to compliment the group. Only take what he needs to further his career as a bodyguard, not to help the party in its adventuring. Eventually, he'll get more jobs, and they may want a straight fighter, not a fighter with some sorcerer classes just since his former clients thought it'd be cool.
Jack_Rains
12-27-05, 06:37 PM Ok I've updated him a bit.

Instead of being just a Cyran farmboy he is a member of house Deneith and was a hired mercenary during the war. (He was still born and raised in Cyre but has the ties with the Deneith family.) After his time spent in Darguun he returned to a House Deneith enclave in Korranberg where he was given a new job.
He also developed a dragonmark while he was in the Rhurrthec Kec.

I just finished the character and will post his stats up later tonight if anyone is interested in seeing them.

Thanks for all the input.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Jack_Rains 12-27-05, 01:07 AM	I have created a character for an upcoming game. I will be DMing and using this character as an NPC that travels with the party. He is a bodyguard for another character, a young gnome lass whose family has decided needs protection since she won't be sensible and stay in Korranberg. Well anyway, this character is a human fighter. He was raised in the Cyran countryside and grew up a farmer. When he was of age he joined the military and was immediately put on the front lines. For years he fought against Brelish incursion, and against the goblin traitors. On the Day of Mourning he found himself in Dargunn just across the border. During a raging battle the grey mist could be seen coming far in the distance. And strange sounds and what seemed like screams could be heard from those still on the Cyran side of the border. When the goblinoid force heard these sounds they cheered and charged on toward the remaining the Cyran forces. The Cyrans were decimated, but not all were killed. This man, Landris Cellan, was taken prisoner by the Dhaakani. He was taken to Rhukaan Draal and sold on the slave market. After working in the iron mines for about a year he saw his chance for escape and took it. He fought long and hard alongside his fellow Cyrans that were slaves in the mines also until the bugbear force overwhelmed them. Instead of being killed like his comrades Landris was sold again, this time as a pitfighter. A one-eyed hobgoblin named Okaan'o took Landris and trained him in the ways of a Dhaakani pitfighter after seeing how he fought the bugbears in the slave incursion. For two and half years Landris survived the Rhurrthec Kec (Bloody Ring) and impressed even the Lhesh Haruuc , for even the mightiest of goblinoid gladiators could not survive the Rhurrthec Kec for so long. The Lhesh Haruuc granted Landris his freedom and ordained him a Dhaakani warrior saying that "even though he is human the blood of the Rhukaan Taash runs true in his veins." Gladly receiving this honor, Landris swore his loyalty to the Lhesh Haruuc taking the name Kuun'Rhuul (Lost Blood) and set about towards Korranberg. He had learned much of what had transpired since the Day of Mourning from the mouths of merchants and adventurers who passed through Darguun over the years and was determined to survive in this new world. Since that time Kuun'Rhuul has sold his services to the Kan Davandi family in Korranberg as a bodyguard to protect their daughter Alani as she ebarks on her "foolish" journy to Sharn and beyond. That is my character, let me know what you think or if you have any ideas of your own that could help me flesh him out some more. Any input would be appreciated.
Korhal_IV 12-27-05, 02:50 AM	This fighter sounds extremely high level - I'd personally peg him around 10th or 12th just based on his backstory. That's a very bad sign. The fact that you put so much backstory into him is potentially a worse sign - this guy is obviously important to you, and that should not happen with a lackey, because you'll be drawn into writing stories around him, instead of the gnome.
Jack_Rains 12-27-05, 09:27 AM	He doesn't need to be high level to fit that back story. And he won't be the focus of the game, I've DMed long enough that I know how to keep the focus on the players. I made the backstory just so he would be interesting instead of just being a generic body guard. He won't be the focus of anything unless the PCs decide they'd like to learn more about his past and want to help him with some goal. If that is the case then his backstory is just used as a adventure hook. I'm well aware of people's problems with being able to keep focus off of NPCs when they create one they really like. I've DMed using NPCs as part of the group before and DMed without using them and have made my mistakes along the way. I learned from them a long time ago. Besides I just made up the story and thought it'd be interesting to share. My PCs would much rather have a guy with them who has a personality and history than one who is just a cardboard cut-out. I'm not asking for opinions on how I run my games or how some may assume I run my games. Just wanting some helpful criticism on the character.
Grymar 12-27-05, 10:57 AM	Looks like a great background. My first thought also when reading this is that it sounded more like a PC (DMPC?) than an npc, but it looks like you have that all taken care of. I'd give him a level or two in warrior to start to cover his years in the war, then maybe go to Fighter or Barbarian to cover his years in the fighter pits, depending on what level your PC is. Keep him equal or a level lower if possible. Great backstory, by the way.
Turkforged 12-27-05, 11:03 AM	Hmm... Take feats and do actions which will support your dirty-fightning. Or something goblinoid you know.. Darguun might want some special tasks for you, you may need to answer them or you will broke their heart..
Jack_Rains 12-27-05, 11:25 AM	Thanks for the input. I'm still working out his stats, he will mainly just be muscle for the group and is a quiet type. He is there to serve the gnome and protect here not get into political or philisophical discussion with the group (thats how he sees it anyway). I think he's going to be either a warrior 2/barbarian 1 or fighter 1/barbarian 1. I'm not sure what feats to take as of yet though besides that he uses a spiked chain so he will have to take the exotic weap. prof in that. Any ideas on good feats for a gladiator?
Loki Helson 12-27-05, 12:28 PM	Thanks for the input. I'm still working out his stats, he will mainly just be muscle for the group and is a quiet type. He is there to serve the gnome and protect here not get into political or philisophical discussion with the group (thats how he sees it anyway). I think he's going to be either a warrior 2/barbarian 1 or fighter 1/barbarian 1. I'm not sure what feats to take as of yet though besides that he uses a spiked chain so he will have to take the exotic weap. prof in that. Any ideas on good feats for a gladiator? I would suggest Warrior2/Barb1. As far as feats? Improved Trip, Kiai Shout (and greater eventually), Deft Strike, and Diehard. I think the character has a very nice background and should be fun for both you and your players. Good luck!
Sieylianna 12-27-05, 05:14 PM	Thanks for the input. I'm still working out his stats, he will mainly just be muscle for the group and is a quiet type. He is there to serve the gnome and protect here not get into political or philisophical discussion with the group (thats how he sees it anyway). Did you consider a member of house Deneith? It seems a shame to create a bodyguard in Eberron and not look at the dragonmark house. Ed
Jack_Rains 12-27-05, 05:25 PM	I think that having a member of House Deneith really helps with the question as to why the gnome's family hired him specifically. I don't think he will have strong ties to the family but is just an unmarked bodyguard in their service. He just arrived in Korranberg when he was hired. So its only his first job for Deneith.
Pocalem 12-27-05, 05:39 PM	Just make sure when he levels with the party, not to take feats, skills, other classes to compliment the group. Only take what he needs to further his career as a bodyguard, not to help the party in its adventuring. Eventually, he'll get more jobs, and they may want a straight fighter, not a fighter with some sorcerer classes just since his former clients thought it'd be cool.
Jack_Rains 12-27-05, 06:37 PM	Ok I've updated him a bit. Instead of being just a Cyran farmboy he is a member of house Deneith and was a hired mercenary during the war. (He was still born and raised in Cyre but has the ties with the Deneith family.) After his time spent in Darguun he returned to a House Deneith enclave in Korranberg where he was given a new job. He also developed a dragonmark while he was in the Rhurrthec Kec. I just finished the character and will post his stats up later tonight if anyone is interested in seeing them. Thanks for all the input.